#Experiment what u annoying piece of shit

[httpshujii]

Jam, Love Letter, Nada, Strawberries for the ask game !

Jam: what’s your favorite type of ice cream or sweet treat?

♡...Fav ice cream, chocolate. Can never go wrong with it and sweet treat, ummalso chocolates ( ´∀`)/~~ I'm the biggest chocolate enthusiast ik.

Love Letter: quiet night in or night out?

♡...Depends on the night. If the weather is nice, I'd go out bit 9/10 times I'd say quiet night in.

Nada: this is not a question, just something to remind you that you are loved!

♡...rly needed this, u r loved even more souta :>

Strawberries: favorite fruit?

♡...Melonsssss (っ´▽｀)っ

[melonsodypop]

H-hi! I hope It's ok if my first request is not a smutty one? Yakuza men and what makes them feel loved? Thank you in advance!

yakuza men and the things that make them feel loved !

❀ pairing -  kazuma kiryu, goro majima, taiga saejima, shun akiyama, y0!akira nishikiyama, daigo dojima, ryuji goda/reader (all seperate)

❀ tags - fluff, angst, gender neutral reader, probably sloppy character analysis, these men all really need therapy, love languages, alcohol/smoking mentions

❀ a/n - of course non-smut requests are welcome!! stares at my college degree on the wall that focused almost entirely on how people's experiences, relationships and environments affect them and their inner wounds/ways they want to be loved... i am so ready to break these down hehehehe (also i learned how to use gradient text are u guys proud of me)

kazuma kiryu ❀ spending time with him

deceptively simple, kiryu feels the most loved when you decide to just exist near him

oftentimes he feels like he's undeserving of company or that his mere presence is a danger to his loved ones, so frankly your insistence on being close to him is going to freak him out at first

he might even start avoiding you in the early stages of a relationship - don't take it personally, it's just that he loves you so much that he's anxious about hurting you

the more and more you stick by him, the more he realizes that he doesn't have to do everything on his own

in fact, he likes not doing everything on his own, a wave of relief every time he remembers that he has someone he trusts and admires deeply at his side

it slowly heals that deep emotional wound he carries that for someone to love him means for them to be hurt

the reason i hesitate to use the word 'quality time' with him is that he doesn't even really need you to be doing something with him

just being in the same room as him, focusing on whatever you both are working on separately

he's never been one to be comfortable expressing himself in words, the silence between the two of you like a warm blanket instead of awkward

i could get into my hc that he's autistic so it's a form of parallel play to him, but i digress

if you look over at him, you'll see that there's a rare soft smile on his lips

wordlessly will walk over to you and pull you flush to his side gently, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead

"i like when you're here," he'll grumble softly to you - which in kiryu-isms, really means 'please stay by my side like this forever'

goro majima ❀ letting him vent/talk about his feelings

oh boy i have so many thoughts about majima and how hard of a time he has accepting love

he's a master at self-sabotage - he doesn't know how to process feelings of love or affection, nor does he really feel that a piece of shit like him deserves it (see: how often he tells others that they'd be better off without him)

so he often chooses to bury his feelings instead of doing something about it

it was much the same when it came to you - he loves you so much, painfully so, but there was always that annoying voice in his head that told him that that you had better things to do than spend time on a mongrel like him

he'll keep his conversations surface-level with you at first, but ask him how he feels about everything and validate what he says

it'll catch him off-guard at first, and he might even try to put up a front and say he doesn't like talking about that sappy shit

but he'll eventually start giving in, going on long rants about all the crap he had to deal with that day or his 'tragic fuckin' backstory' while you listen intently

the more you wrench his ribcage open and force him to expose his real heart to you, the more he starts falling helplessly for you

not only are you letting him acknowledge and let out the emotions he keeps bottled up close to his chest, but you're seeing every ugly, rotten part of him and you still love him

now, that doesn't mean don't hold him accountable when he's kinda being a dick

praising everything he does will just make him feel like you're putting him on a pedestal or seeing some idealized version of himself you made up in your head

which will give his brain an excuse to run out on you before he eventually disappoints you

so don't let him run - from his feelings, from accountability, from you

the mad dog doesn't like to be collared, but for the person who looks past every facade he puts up and lets him just be goro majima - he'll happily put himself on a leash if it's you who's holding it

taiga saejima ❀ giving him physical affection

for most of his life, saejima was treated like a dangerous beast due to his size and that perpetual scowl on his face

it only got worse after the ueno seiwa hit - shackled like a circus tiger as he was dragged from jail to jail, never able to escape whispers of 'the man who slayed eighteen' and 'the stone-cold hitman' that make him sound more like an urban legend monster than a man

saejima has his own pride in his strength, and for the longest time he just accepted that he was the untouchable, scary beast that everyone made him out to be

it's not until you come into his life and start to subjecting him to little casual touches of affection that he realizes how touch-starved he is

grab his hand, cuddle him, catch him off-guard with kisses to his weary face - it makes his chest tighten in a way he doesn't understand just yet

he feels silly that such small, soft things are affecting him this much at first, but every casual little touch you give him makes him feel less like the boogeyman and more like a person

the fact that you trust him enough and feel safe enough to him to attach yourself to him... he feels like he could cry

it takes a while for him to start returning your touches, but when he does he suddenly turns into the biggest teddy bear

every time he holds your cute little face or holds you protectively against his chest at night, he's taught that his hands can do more than just inflicting pain

he'll never, ever admit it out loud but he loves it the most when you hug him, your arms barely able to wrap around his thick torso but trying your best regardless

he can't help but chuckle as he feels your body meld against his, patting your head and wrapping his arm protectively around your shoulders

he knows people would gawk if they saw how cuddly he gets with you, but he can't really bring himself to care

he's not a monster, a beast, stone-cold, or a killer when he's in your arms - just a big, soft tiger

shun akiyama ❀ taking care of his physical needs

akiyama SUCKS at taking care of himself, often relying on other people (i.e. hana-chan's scoldings) to remind him to eat or get his work done

it's not like he's completely helpless, he insists - he at least keeps himself clean and well-groomed

but being homeless for as long as he was, he eventually just forgot how to attend to his needs

even now, with all the money in the world, he's still unlearning how he had to just suppress his hunger pangs when food was an uncertainty and sleeping on a regular schedule when shelter wasn't always guaranteed

his body does it unconsciously now, often attending to his paperwork for hours on end without even noticing that he's hungry or tired

he feels embarrassed when you start slipping him bentos here and there when he's so wrapped up in his work, often giving you an apologetic smile and profuse thank you's

but the fact that you cared enough to notice, and cared even more to go out and get him something to eat makes him remember why he fell for you in the first place

he might protest weakly when you pull him away from his work when you notice his eyes are getting sunken and his body's lagging behind

or roll his eyes with a smirk when you snatch a cigarette from between his lips and smush it in the nearby ashtray, reminding him that he was whining about needing to quit smoking just yesterday

but he's truly, genuinely thankful that you're forcing him to take care of himself, the fact that you're invested enough in his wellbeing to scold him

he'll be damned though if he becomes one of those boyfriends that treats you like his mother, though - he may call himself a bum, but he's not THAT much of a bum

expect to be taken care of in equal measure, akiyama insisting to pay for your meals and run your errands for you to show with his actions, not just his words, how cared for you make him feel

akira nishikiyama ❀ praising him

yeahhh i couldn't not talk about nishiki's inferiority complex and how damaged his self-esteem is

his cool-guy bravado very thinly covers up a mountain of insecurities

he doesn't really feel like he does much of anything right, too pathetic to be a scary yakuza and too cowardly to stand up for himself or what he believes in

so anytime you genuinely praise him and tell him he did a good job with something, the high he gets from it is strong enough that he could probably quit nicotine, he thinks

he preens when you compliment how stylish he looks or how well he styled his hair - he takes a LOT of pride in his appearance, probably one of the few things he doesn't really have insecurities about

he can't help but grin ear to ear when you cheer for him at karaoke, or clap and whoop when he gets a strike at the bowling alley

he admires you so, so much, and that verbal affirmation that you think just as highly of him soothes that little boy inside that never thinks he's good enough for anything or anybody

every time you compliment him, he gets so giddy that he'll grab you by the waist and start pressing kisses all over your face

"i did that for you, baby," he'll claim proudly, his eyes shining with affection

the first time he cried in front of you, he was shocked that you didn't call him a crybaby or told him to man up

you just held him gently and wiped away his tears, whispering that he did the best he could and that you were so proud of him

he absolutely crumbles when he hears that, hugging you close and crying even harder :(

it kills him (in a good way) that even when you see him at his most vulnerable, you don't think he's pathetic or weak, just someone who needs the reassurance and comfort he's been deprived of his whole life

i'm not saying you'll fix him, necessarily - but perhaps the entirety of 1 could have been avoided if someone just told him he was doing a good job

daigo dojima ❀ letting him be weak

from the moment daigo was born a dojima, he was expected to be as strong, proud, and cold as the rest of his family

even when he left the tojo clan after the ryuji incident to not have to carry that expectation anymore, he still had a gang of people who started to follow him and put them on a pedestal as their leader

and now, as the sixth chairman, he has even less opportunities to let his guard down, not with thirty thousand people looking to him as an example and his enemies lurking at all times

daigo's resolve is strong, having long since accepted his lot in life as a leader - but he can't deny that he just gets so exhausted sometimes

so when he can come home to you, who doesn't expect him to be the sixth chairman, a dojima, or hell, even a yakuza, just daigo, is when he feels the most loved

sometimes just lays his head on your lap when it's just the two of you on the couch in the living, the feeling of your fingers threading gently through his jet-black hair and just being able to relax making the stress in his muscles melt away almost instantly

his greatest peace is when you both lay down to sleep at night, holding him in your arms and whispering to him about how hard he works and to get all the rest he needs

he hums softly and nuzzles into the crook of your neck, not saying anything back as he revels in the feeling of your fingernails scraping against his scalp as your digits comb through the tresses of his hair

there's no expectations, no danger, nobody expecting him to make a decision on the spot or suppress his personal feelings for the good of many

just his darling lover who sees him for who he is, feelings and weaknesses and all, and still loves him

he knows that there's a long list of things he has to do tomorrow and put on a strong face again, but for now he lets himself cuddle in your grasp, letting your words and gentle touches soothe him to sleep

ryuji goda ❀ when he gets to show off for you

a very... simple method of affection for a very straightforward man

he's just got some somewhat dated ideas about what it means to be a man in a relationship, and a lot of them revolve around flexing how strong and skilled he is to you

nothing makes him more satisfied than seeing your eyes shine with awe when he helps you move an insanely heavy piece of furniture or when he shows you just how much whiskey he can knock back in one go

it's less of the showing off itself that makes him feel loved - he's confident in his strength and his skills so he needs no reassurance in that department

but your cutely surprised reactions and the fact that you're so openly proud to call him your boyfriend that you'd let him strut his stuff out in public to show the world how cool and strong he is... yeah, that's what makes him happy

he gets so determined to show off for you that he sometimes gets in way over his head about things he usually wouldn't give a shit about

for example, when he tried to get you the cute stuffed animal that you wanted from the ufo catcher

ryuji scoffed and told you to step aside, confident that he would get it first try

until he didn't. and didn't on the second, third, fourth, fifth tries-

he let out a string of colorful curses as he watched the claw uselessly pinch at the round little sparrow, his jaw tensed in concentration as he shoved another coin into the machine's slot

ignores your reassurances that he really didn't need to do this for you, retrying until he eventually gets the damn thing to drop in the hole

he feels stupid until he hands the round bun-chan toy to you, your eyes wide and a smile on your lips

as soon as you hug him with a squealed thank you, he laughs, patting your head and telling you that it wasn't a huge deal

ryuji's not one to usually lie, but your praise and admiration is, unsurprisingly, the BIGGEST deal to him

as he wraps his arms around your waist to walk the streets of sotenbori, showing off both you on his arm and the little plushie he won you, he knows he would move both heaven and earth if it meant it would make you proud to call him your lover

[dex0s]

💋MY DEAD HEART • ZOMBIESukuna X Gn reader WARNING: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT , NON-con/rape, main character death, cannibalism, humiliation, bad ending, public?, gore, animals, DARK CONTENT, age-gap, small plot/smut, violence mention, lazy ending, not proof read, MDNI 18+

A/N—hello.. how have u been.. that’s good. Bye! *disappears for 4 months*

You had studying subject 01 King of Zombies or what he calls himself Sukuna with some other scientists and as you can imagine it not a pretty sight to see. Like the normal things you would think of a zombie is he will human or animal flesh but yet he can be picky with it or he can do something disturbing to the flesh.

Flashback

You were walk to subject 01/ Sukuna test area. It was a huge metal door about 8ft tall with electrified bar along side with talismans all over.

“Good morning Mx.name” one of the security welcoming you, “you doing a check up on subject 01 today?” Finished the guard.

“Yes you are right. I have to check out what that 01 did with our experiment…” walking towards the door, one of the guards scanned his badge unlocking the door to the lab room. Yet before you could take your first step the other guard turned to you a said, “ I would be care in there even if there’s another door… the night guards told me that they heard some freaky shit coming inside.”

“Well thanks for the warning” you finished, walking in the lab the door closed behind you. Looking at the window in front of you the fake forest seems empty but you know better. Getting closer you can see a deer and when examining closer you can finally see what that disgusting creature did… it fucked the deer to death.

Cum spilling out of it hole, the poor hole was stretched on the unimaginable size, you can also see bites taken revealing the flesh underneath. Writing down this information not knowing the something so sneaking up on you.

*boom*

Quick turning to the sound you can see subject 01 smiling at you and what you assume to be deer blood on his face and hands.

“Do you like my master piece doc?” Sukuna asked. Going back to you notes you continue writing. After a few seconds Sukuna started to get annoyed that you were responding, “you think you can just ignore me doc!? I know you can hear me! Don’t go thinking your better then me, I’m the king and you are the peasant—just wait until I get out of here, you are going to be my first victim!?”

End of Flashback

You still remember the way he spoke to you—hate and disgust. Yet that didn’t stop you from coming back to work. The pay was good and you can live your happy ever after.

Parking in your spot. You walk up to the building, once you give in the doors you see no one at the front desk. Looking a around seeing if you can find someone. You captures something you wouldn’t want to see in a million years.

Over the counter of the desk, there lay a woman with bite marks and a chuck of her head bitten off. “I- what the hell happened here?” You asked yourself. Going around the desk you check the body, yet before that the body started to shake violently. Moving away and hiding you behind the desk. Trying to stay quiet you can hear movement then sudden silence.

Hearing Growling on top of you, quick looking up you can see the “woman” looking down at you with a hungry look. Quickly getting up u run towards a door that requires your key card. Looking back the “woman” is running at you full force.

Scrimmaging through your lab coat you found it. Briskly you open the door and just how quickly it opened it quickly closed. Hearing the bangs behind you. U decided to move away before that thing breaks in. With red lights going off and on you can somewhat see that all the subjects doors are open. Due to that u started to walk quietly. Once you get to subjects 01 door their are body’s littering the floor.

Before u can get away you get slam to the ground. “Look who we have hear” you know that voice… that’s the same voice that said that you would be their first victim. Feeling your clothes getting ripped off u try to break out but you know that wouldn’t happen.

Before you can even start to think Sukuna slam his two cocks in your ass/pussy. Hollering and screaming you kick your feet. Grabbing your feet he saids “I told you that u would be the first and then I will move on to the next women/male/person. Enjoy this time while you can because after this your time will be over”. Moaning in pain you can feel Sukuna bit down on your neck.

Feeling that harsh bite you scream due to the agonizing pain. Not thinking straight you see him eating something. Skin. Your skin. With Sukuna still thrusting in you and the pain from your wound you can feel yourself about the black out.

Around you hearing of feet pattering u see subjects looking at you. Laughing at your pain, laughing at your tears, “look at that you have a little crowd laughing at you” Sukuna mocks you. Not able to hold your bladder is piss on his cock/stomach. “Ew did you just piss on me?!” Making sure the people around you can hear. The laughter starts to get louder and louder.

Crying is all you can do, you can’t yell for help because nobody cares, you can’t get out of Sukuna hold because your weak, feeling your end approaching. you called out forgiveness for your sins hoping that when you see the golden gate that you will be forgiven. Closing your eyes for the last time your ears pick up something…

“see you in hell bitch” was the last words Sukuna said before cumming his load in you.

[f10werfae]

Barefoot and Pregnant

pairing: Lumberjack!Henry Cavill x Shy!Pregnant!Wife!reader

summary: Henry and his cockdrunk wife go through an emotional love-making experience, after being pressured by her friends to give her husband a ‘hall pass’ because of her growing body (DILF!Henry) (Dom!Henry)

likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated🫶 Disclaimer 18+

Lumberjack Masterlist, Henry Masterlist, Full Masterlist

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

“Baby bun? Why are you cryin’? Is there somethin’ wrong with our miracle?” Henry rushed placing both of his hands onto his precious wife’s four month bump: he had come home to see her sobbing her eyes out into her pregnancy pillow. “I-I have your b-birthday present, h-here” She cried handing him a crumpled piece of paper, “A fuckin hall pass? The fahk do I need this for?”

- A few hours ago -

“So Y/n, I know your man’s birthday is coming up soon, what are ya getting him?” Chloe smirked putting down her beer, she wasn’t really someone Y/n would hangout with, but considering she was friends with Stephanie it was kind of obligatory. Y/n shuffled uncomfortably as all eyes panned to her, this brunch with her girls had taken a weird turn, with them questioning her sex life and very clearly overstepping private boundaries. Y/n on the other hand was adamant that she would spill nothing, ultimately leading to the other women becoming increasingly annoyed.

“U-Uh I was t-thinkin’ of givin’ him the s-sweater I made him, a-and cookin’ him a m-meal” She whispered, pouting when she heard the others giggling and scoffing at her gift idea, her hand falling to her baby bump for comfort. Her little gemstone always had her back. Henry always loved her knitted goods, in fact most of his jumpers were ones she had made, and he never left home without a packed lunch from his woman.

“Girl, just cause you’re preggers doesn’t mean you can’t spoil him! Get him somethin’ better than some lousy knitted shit” Jenny giggled nudging Chloe playfully; Y/n’s hands now started to tremble, she had finally gotten used to nothing but praise thanks to Henry, but now that she was back in this toxic environment she could feel her anxiety start to swirl at the pit of her stomach. She wanted her Henry, and she wanted him now.

“B-but he usually likes m-my meals and h-he asked for a j-jumper” She whispered pursing her lips and clasping her hands together over her stomach, the lemonade she ordered now tasting like absolute poison on her tongue. “Why don’t you get him like a subscription to beer or somethin-“

“OR A HALL PASS? Omg a hall pass would be so good, because you’re obviously pregnant you should give him one, poor guy will need it” Chloe snickered interrupting Stephanie, “A-a hall pass? Whats t-that?” Y/n questioned tilting her head to the side like an adorable puppy, her hand softly rubbing over her stomach, her little miracle’s kicks following her hands every move.

“Basically girl, now that you’re pregnant, every man finds it harder to fuck his wife; let’s be honest it’s a very natural thing. A hall pass is like giving him a ‘get out of jail card’ like letting him fuck someone else for a night or something” She explained placing another chip into her mouth, as if she wasn’t just excusing cheating on Y/n. “B-But I don’t want him t-to” The smaller woman sniffled feeling tears already start to collect in her eyes, did Henry really find her unattractive now that her body was changing?

“I mean come on, are you really going to give him a lousy sweater? Here if it makes you uncomfortable for him to fuck someone else, I’m single!” Chloe joked motioning her hands to pretend she was sucking someone off, the rest of the girls giggling along with her, except for Stephanie who was disgusted by the whole exchange. If anything she was the only friend Y/n really enjoyed hanging out with, and the only friend Henry trusted her with.

“You guys need to knock it off and stop being disgusting shits, come on Y/n Henry texted me to get your somethin’ from the pharmacy” Stephanie grunted pulling Y/n up from her seat, scowling when Chloe tucked in a napkin into Y/n’s purse that said “Hall pass” followed by her own phone number. A poor sniffling Y/n, felt her own emotions starting to shuffle all over the place, her hormones truly had her. With her hand tightly clasped in Stephanie’s the both of them got into her car, when she finally let out a massive sob, wrecking through her smaller body; Stephanie reaching over giving her hugs and whispers to calm her down.

“I-I D-Do you t-think h-he should get a H-hall pass?” Y/n questioned wiping her eyes and nose onto a hankie, her hands smoothing over her stomach, her baby must have realised she was upset; the little thing was wriggling around like crazy almost as if it was trying to provide its momma comfort. “I mean I was gonna suggest beer or a razor, Chloe is just a bitch and insanely jealous because you two are an absolute power couple. Plus it’s not exactly a secret how much Henry is in love with ya” Stephanie smiled booping her on the nose, sighing in relief at the sight of a smile on Y/n’s face.

“B-but maybe he does find me u-ugly now, h-he even offered to shave me down there” She pouted looking down, “Girl he did it because he wanted you to feel more comfortable, you’ve always been the trim typa woman”

“I guess so, s-so what do we need at the pharmacy?”

“Nothin’ I jus’ wanted outta there, Ya sure you’ll be alright girl?”

“Y-yeah H-hen gets home soon a-anyway” After seeing Stephanie go off, Y/n bolted for the bedroom, even after all the comforting words from her friend; she still couldn’t help but feel unwanted and ugly. Would Henry find her pretty again if she let him fuck Chloe? Fuck, just the thought of it haunted Y/n’s thoughts, her man had always told her that he was only for her, and that she was only for him. There is no Chloe in the equation.

- Back To Present -

“A fuckin hall pass? The fahk do I need this for?”

Henry growled holding the napkin and seeing some random number beside it. “I-I” Y/n couldn’t even get words out without sobs shaking her whole body, leading Henry to pull her onto his lap as he sat against the headboard, one hand cupping her face gently while the other cupped his baby miracle. “Calm down sweetpea, tell daddy what happened to your n’ our miracle today”

“W-well we all went t-to that cafe b-by the s-square” She stopped, crying again

“S’okay sugar pie, breathe with me, m’right here and m’not lettin’ ya go” He whispered kissing her cheek softly, the hand one her stomach sneaking around and grabbing a cheek full of ass, making her squeak and gasp. “C-Chloe said t-that because i-i’m pregnant, you wouldn’t find-find me pretty a-anymore, a-and that I should l-let ya b-be with her for a-a night” She explained nuzzling into his palm, his thumb running over her cheek affectionately.

“Are ya fuckin’ crazy, you are the g’damn sexiest thing on this planet sweetpea, my sweet gorgeous wife. You’re takin’ care of our little baby in there, how could ya not be more beautiful? Ya shoulda jus told them we still fuck every night like rabbits-“

“Stoppp, s’embarrassing, b-but then why’d you offer t-to help me shave?”

“Cause baby bun, I know you’re not a grower, n’ I had an idea for ya”

“o-oh I see” She said now realising that her thoughts were jus messin’ with her, “I get so worried cus a forget how fast ya mind is runnin’, ya gotta keep me in the loop sugar, cause you’re mine” He explained leaning in and kissing her wet lips, his hands grasping her waist, kneading her skin.

“I-I know, m’sorry, she j-jus really freaked m-me out. C-cause you’re m-mine and I don’t w-want ya l-lookin’ at anyone else” She explained, Henry smirking at her shy nature, the way she shuffled closer ok his lap, her arms clasping around his neck. “Now ya understand how I get baby, we just need each other n’ no one else” He said lowly, his lips pulled up into an almost eerie smile, as he then stood up from the bed and walked them both towards the bathroom.

Nodding at his words she giggled at the cold feeling of the bathroom counter underneath her thighs, just letting her wild man of a husband rip off her underwear, his electric trimmer already laid out on the side. “W-what was your i-idea?” Her hips bucked as his fingers rubbed her clit slightly before turning on the trimmer, if her stomach wasn’t already huge she would have looked herself. “You’ll see baby bun, jus ta remind ya, of me” He laughed skilfully moving the trimmer around, with Y/n giggling every time he leant forward and kissed her inner thighs or her stomach, he just could not keep his hands off her.

“W-will you help me, r-rinse off after?” With her lips puckered out waiting for a kiss, Henry stood up, letting her suck on his tongue for a few seconds before pulling away teasingly: he had already planned on rinsing her off himself anyway. Lifting her onto the shower bench, he rinsed off her freshly shaven pussy, clearly proud at the thing he had engraved onto her nestle of curls. The letter ‘H’

“What ya think baby, are ya mine or what?” He sang snapping a picture of her pussy and showing it to her, it wasn’t unusual that during sex he would simply take pictures of him leaking out of her, or the faces she would make whenever he was cumming right inside her warm centre. “ I-I love it, m’all yours” She giggled watching him pat her dry with his towel, following him as he led her back into their bedroom, softly setting her on top of the array of cushions and blankets.

“Who made this blanket baby?” He said holding up a woollen baby blue blanket, “M-me” She whispered watching him pull up her dress over her body, leaving her body naked in front of him, his precious masterpiece. “Mhm ya made it for us, n’ our little gemstone, our little family. No one else” He grumbled kissing up her stomach, smiling every time his baby kicked up at him, he couldn’t wait to find out the gender in a weeks time.

“Our little family” She whispered, trying to hold back a smile as Henry peppered hundreds of kisses up her body, his hands grasping at her growing tits, kissing at her nipples and watching them harden. Every night Henry would treat her to a nice breast massage, claiming it would help the milk come in faster, now was that true? Y/n didn’t know but any excuse to have him touch her was a welcomed one. Frankly Henry didn’t know either.

“I’m not gonna fuck you tonight sugar pie, m’ gonna make love to my gorgeous pregnant wife, who is the most amazin’ woman av’ ever seen” He whispered directly into her ear, kissing the shell of it as he felt her hands splayed out on his chest. “R-really?”

“Mhm going to take it nice n’ slow, love on every single parta you, n’ show ya jus’ how much ya mean to me” Looking into her widened doe eyes, he gave her an eskimo kiss, then let their lips meet in a slow, long passionate kiss. Their lips simply feeling each other, their tongues gently massaging each other as she whimpered against him. “Love you so much, my baby bun, all obedient n’ beautiful; my wife, mother of my baby”

“I-I love you too, can’ wait to m-meet our little m-miracle” She hiccuped pushing forward for their lips to meet again, whining when Henry pulled away and turned her body so he could spoon her, placing a soft pillow underneath her bump to make sure she was comfortable. “Ya comfy momma?” “Mhm, miss holdin’ y-you though” She whispered, gasping when she felt Henry’s hand intertwined with hers, his head settled into the crook of her neck; his warm breath fanning her neck to make sure she knew he was with her. He was staying.

He whispered that he was momentarily going to let go of her hand to prepare her for him, his hands lifting her leg up slightly, to allow his hand to venture in massage her slick set of lips gently; her soft gasps and whimpers causing her to nuzzle back into his chest. His athletic shorts were easily shrugged off, revealing that he wasn’t wearing anything underneath, his cock already slipping itself through her folds. Y/n whined opening and closing her hand, clearly wanting to hold his again, smiling in relief as he held onto hers tightly.

Both of them breathing out as she took him inch by inch, bottoming out inside her as his balls rested against her ass, with Y/n holding Henry’s hand close to her chest; kissing his knuckles every so often. “Love this pretty pussy a’ yours, always so welcoming n’ warm, all for your husband isn’t it?”

“A-all for you, m-my husband” She whispered softly bucking her hips to let him know he could start going, and within seconds his hips started rolling against hers, slowly and deeply reaching every inch inside of her; dare I say he even poked her womb a few times with how deep he was going. Taking his hand he reached under his pillow and retrieved his phone, angling it in front of Y/n as he kissed her neck sloppily, taking a photo of her eyes rolled to the back of her head; her mouth agape and drooling onto Henry’s arm under her head.

“My pretty girl, you’re doin’ so well for me, so prouda ya” He whispered dropping his phone, his hand landing onto her tits, grasping both of them in the middle of her chest, rubbing both nipples in a circular direction; his cock stuffed into her velvety walls, his rhythm staying the same. “F-feel you so deep, t-too good” She breathed out cupping her stomach which was now bouncing along with his thrusts, which caught Henry’s eyes as he then cupped the bottom of her stomach. That photo was definitely going to be his phone wallpaper

“Who knocked you up? Who got you this full n’ swollen?”

“Y-you did daddy, f-fuck, feel so full” She moaned, his hands rubbing up and down her stomach lovingly, the fact that she was holding his baby just made her that more irresistible to him; she was taking care of the perfect mix of them both, their baby miracle. “You dare call yourself ugly, you wouldn’t call our baby ugly would ya? So why would call its home ugly? You’re protectin’ them with this beautiful haven inside ya baby, you’re amazin’” He whispered, his hands flowing down to her pussy, feeling the pattern of the H, his fingers found her precious little clit, rubbing the sensitive button until he felt her clench around his length. “These beautiful tits are gonna feed and nourish our baby, n’ maybe me sometimes, how can you say they’re not sexy as fuck; how you’re able to do all these things naturally, as my woman” He joked nipping her shoulder, feeling her giggle and her hole clench at the idea of her own husband sucking on her hardened nipples.

“Can feel you gettin’ close honey” He whispered watching her face turn to the side, her hand reaching around to his head, her lips pushing his into an open mouthed tongue kiss; his thumb lovingly wiping her drool covered chin, his thrusts not letting down. “b-baby, beautiful, f-family” She said clearly cockdrunk, muttering out words that she had heard from her husband, “Yeah baby that’s right, now do ya think ya can let go for daddy?” He cooed letting her nuzzle her head back into her cushion, his smile softening at her smile and at the way her hand instantly reached to hold his.

“Am’ gonna cum H-Hen”

“S’okay sugar babe, m’ gonna cum too, together okay?”

Henry picked up the pace just for her, her whines and whimpers getting louder until finally he felt her creamy onto his cock, his own juices spurting inside her; causing her to breathe out happily at the warm stuffy feeling inside of her. “I love you, don’t ever fuckin’ doubt that, you have a nasty thought in your pretty head? You tell me n’ i’ll sort it out” He growled kissing her cheek as he turned her to lay on her back, with him propped up on his elbow as he traced over her stomach. “What are ya t-tracin’?”

“Hearts, so our mini baby bun knows what love looks like” He chuckled finishin’ his tracin’ looking up to his wife’s eyes, with her getting all giddy and smiley at his confession. “I-I already love ‘em so much, g-gon dress them so p-pretty. N’ w-we can play i-in the fields w-with them” She giggled playing with his fingers which were on her chest, the post sex haze doing nothing but accentuating their love for each other. “Pretty like their gorgeous momma” Henry whispered pecking her lips once more before he remembered something.

“Now how about I show ya somethin’, ya don’t havta walk, ill carry ya” He whispered as she nodded, the both of them trodding to the end of the long hallway towards his work room, her eyes widening at the site of two wooden bassinets sitting at the corner of the room. “Y-you made this for mini bun?! B-but why two?” She wondered looking up at his deep blue eyes, “m’ preparin’ for the next one bunny”

“t-two babies” She giggled whispering to herself at the idea of her big gruff husband handling two tiny tots at once, watching him dote on them like the protective man he was. “Mhm m’ gonna keep ya barefoot n’ pregnant, like ya this way baby bun, all swollen an’ big for me” He gruffed nuzzling his rough bearded cheek against her soft one, “Told ya, you don’t need those stupid friends a’ yours when you’ve got me sugar, m’all ya need and our mini bun right ‘ere”

———

PSA: Hope this is all good! I wanted to show a more emotional and loving side to their relationship 🫶 But still sprinkle a bit of dark!manipulative!Henry

library blog of works @f10werfaes-cosy-collection

Taglist (not accepting, use blog): @drewsuncrustables (thank you for the ‘H’ idea) @they-call-me-arte @helenaellie @pandaxnienke @thereisa8ella @kimhtoo17 @beck07990 @dumb-fawkin-bitch @madebylilly @kebabgirl67 @marvelgurl @uwiuwi @stormcloudss @misshale21 @hallecarey1 @nikkitc0703 @mischiefsemimanaged @oliviah-25 @aerangi @bookfrog242 @alina02 @alexxavicry @hp-hogwartsexpress @angelmather1 @acornacre @ggmimitf @thebaileybugle @p4st3lst4rs @kzhlvlysstuff @thoughtsofreid @cilliansangel @theekyliepage @cookielovesbook-akie @luvabellee @elenavampire21 @hoya122 @rosiesluv7 @yaminax @esposadomd @meyocoko @disaster-rose @severewobblerlightdragon @kemillyfreitas @adoreyouusugar @queensgirl718 @sweetybuzz25

Hope you all enjoy this instalment xoxo

[dolcettamagica]

𐙚˙⋆.˚ 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 ch.1

tags: rick sanchez x reader, love triangle, rick being rick, rick being mean af as usual, age gap, it will get dark, angst, double ended - you decide it, some chps will be smut, slow burn, possessive behaviour, obsessive behaviour this chapter: rick sanchez x reader, rick being mean, sfw with some sexual indications word count: 1750

“Listen to me, you bi-bitch. I am not doing this for you, got-got it? I was challenged by someone, and I am not someone who loses and if you spoiled bitch call me an old man again, I’ll make you scream it, understand?”

„What-what the actual fuck is this?!“

The whole Smith family was staring at the most recent weird event in their living room. A girl lying on their floor, alone and unconscious. It was obvious that she wasn’t an alien – judging by her appearance. Summer was focused on her outfit, Beth was checking if she still had a pulse and Jerry was being Jerry (useless).

“Morty – Morty you disgusting little shit! Did you buy a girl from space? Fucking pervert. I’m going to kill you!”, Rick’s voice echoed through the room, spit dripping from his mouth. His grandson instantly denied the accusations vehemently, saying that he is a pervert but not that kind of pervert. Rick was angry, furious even, someone like him – the smartest man alive – didn’t have time for shit like this.

“Um…Dad?”, Beth was holding a piece of paper in her hand instead of her usual glass of red wine, “It’s for you.”

“Wow, Grandpa Rick, maybe you were the one buying some girl like some creep.”

Rick narrowed his eyes at Summer’s remark. As if he would ever need to buy a girl at all. “Shut the fuck up, Summer, before I tell your mum where you hide your sh-shit.” That was enough to shut the redhead up and earn a disapproving look from Beth.

Quickly Rick snatched the note from his daughter’s fingers. A note – something so traditional…weirdly interesting.

Hello Rick C-137, Probably asking yourself why some girl is lying on your floor and why you’re reading a note right now. I’m not going to tell you shit though. Aren’t you the “smartest man” alive? The “rickest Rick”? You’re nothing more than an experiment to me and a dumber version of me anyway. I won’t tell you why she is in your dimension and your universe. I won’t tell you what experiment and what you should or should not achieve. Fuck, I won’t even tell you who she is or where she originated from. I also made sure that you won’t be able to track where she came from and on top of that you will never know who I actually am. Wait until she wakes up or wake her up yourself. I know damn well I piqued your interest, C-137.

He was right. The note did pique his interest, but it also pissed him off. Obviously, it was another Rick – an arrogant motherfucker who challenged Rick. “For f-fuck’s sake. What fucking bullshit is this”, his pale hand dragged down his face before he knelt down, right next to the stranger’s face.

“Wake the fuck u-up, dumb bitch. How can-can you sleep with everyone screaming.”

Dumb Bitch…Those words echoed through your head, jerking you awake. Who was this disrespectful to call you that? You blinked several times, the light from the lamps blinding you.

“O my God, Dad! She’s waking up.”

“Oh geez…I don’t think this is goi-going to end good.”

“I hope she’s cool like a new sister or something, Morty is like so annoying.”

Who was talking? Slowly your eyes adjusted to the new surroundings, and you were met with some old man staring into your soul. His scent was a mixture of alcohol, musk and after-shave. Not a bad smell at all.

“What…Where am I and who the fuck are you, old man?!”, the first thing you did was check your body. Missing limbs? Naked? Bruises? Chained up? No, everything seemed fine yet at the same time nothing was fine.

Your head felt like it was exploding, as if a belt was strapped around it and getting tighter and tighter. The room was unfamiliar just like the people around you. Everyone was screaming. Strangers. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. Did they drug me? Your mouth was dry, as if you haven’t drunk any water in days. Did they kidnap me? Thousands of thoughts flooded your brain, and no answer was in sight. The room shrank and shrank and shrank. Why is everyone yelling? Who are these people? Where am I? I can’t breathe! I can’t- 

Rick injected a needle into your neck, pushing a milky liquid into your system. You were having a panic-attack, and he didn’t have the nerves to deal with anymore shit thrown his way. Almost instantly the girl in front of his feet stopped shaking, your breath calmed down as well as your excessive sweating. Meanwhile Rick took a long look at you – you weren’t dirty or anything, the opposite in fact. Your hair was clean and shining while your clothes were spotless and on top of that you smelled phenomenal. A rich vanilla with an undertone of cherry, sweet and sultry. 

“Wh-What did you in-inject her with, Rick?”

“Relax, Morty”, Rick rolled his eyes, “Just didn’t – didn’t want her to lose her shit. Give her a minute, we’ll be able to talk to her then.” Only Rick and the grandkids were left with you now. Beth had to go to work and Jerry was simply overstimulated, not being able to comprehend anything that happened in front of his eyes.

You took a deep breath and sat up; your eyes never left the tall, skinny frame of the older man. “Who are you guys…?”, your voice was timid, but your stare was stern.

“Rick, Morty, Summer. Y-You’re at our house. Don’t ask us why, you were probably tele-teleported here from someone who looks like me. We don’t know shit about you either, dumbass. Do we look like some human-traffickers to you? Another fucking dumbass.”

Suddenly it clicked – Rick Sanchez. You’ve seen his face all over the news again and again. Some mad scientist who was known for teleportation, universes and interdimensional traveling. And he was a fucking asshole. Morty and Summer were his grandkids. At least I know who they are.

“Now, tell me who you are”, Rick reached out and cupped your chin with his calloused fingers. His fingertips felt rough against your soft skin, you felt warmth creep up to your cheeks and spread across your face. With a hiss you slapped his hand away.

“My name is y/n. I’m 21 years old and a psych major at college. I will also be known as the girl who castrated you if you touch me again, old man.”

The last part earned a chuckle from Morty and Summer “Oh, Grandpa Rick got burned! I love you already, girl!” Their joy was short-lived though. Rick yelled at both of them, insulting them every way possible, demanding them to leave the fucking room before he feeds them to his alien-prisoners. Both complied to his command.

“F-fucking listen to me you wannabe mean girl bi-bitch. Some other Rick left a note-note for me, talking about some dumb ass experiment. What happened before you ended up here? Do you even know where you live or you wanna share a bed with this o-old man?”

“I live in….huh…Where do I live? I remember who I am but not a single thing about a family or a living space”, no matter how hard you tried you didn’t actually remember anything about your own life, “The last I recall before waking up is someone saying, “Last Chance, Sweetheart” and that someone sounded exactly like you.”

“For fuck-fuck’s sake! I’m going crazy! I’m going to kill that motherfucking R-Rick!”

Two hours. Two hours passed and Rick tried everything to at least receive a single type of information, just anything. Nothing. Nothing worked. He tried to trace you back to your original universe – apparently you didn’t belong to any. He tried to find other versions of you – a big red error appeared. He couldn’t even extract past memories from your brain. Literally nothing has worked. He failed. Rick Sanchez, the smartest man on earth, failed.

“You know, maybe some memories will come back to me after some time. You don’t have to be yelling all the time…”, you were sitting on a chair, your elbows propped on his workbench and your hands cupping your face. Rick was in fact a weird guy – loud, rude but determined. After hours of listening to his drunken outbursts you just wanted some peace and quiet. Due to Rick kind of being famous on the internet you knew a thing or two about him and what his work was about. “I know you mean well and your actions could help me go back home…if I have a home, that is. You still need to chill though, old man.”

Once again you called Rick an old man. Is that girl serious? “You dumb little…”, you heard him growl as he turned around to face you. The burping, belching genius known was anything but amused. His typically wry grin twisted into a snarl of pure contempt, revealing a glint of madness in his eyes that sent shivers down your spine.

The furrows on his forehead deepened, accentuating the lines of his craggy face as he scowled, his brows knit together in a storm of frustration. His eyes, usually glazed with a combination of apathy and brilliance, now burned with a fiery intensity that could rival the brightest supernova in the universe.

“Listen to me, you bi-bitch. I am not doing this for you, got-got it? I was challenged by someone, and I am not someone who loses”, Rick made his way over to you. Slowly, like a predator nearing his prey. His hand gripped your chair to make you face him. You felt yourself push back into the seat. He was too close and you two were all alone in his garage. One hand was now next to your head while the other was gripping your thigh. You could feel his breath blowing against your now hot, blushed face, his musk clouding your senses, his hand burning into your skin. “And if you spoiled bitch call me an old man again, I’ll make you scream it, understand?”

“Listen to me, Rick old man Sanchez. I’m neither spoiled nor a bitch. And your pathetic attempt of whatever this is isn’t working.” Harsh words which didn’t match your bright red cheeks or beating heart. Your own body was betraying you. “Fuck you and fuck this garage. I’m going to chill with your grandkids.”

A smirk grazed Rick’s lips as you stood up and left without looking back. Interesting. Who knew that embarrassing you would be that much fun? You’re feisty, witty and bratty and not a bad sight to the eye.

“Ah, makes me want to tame that little girl.”

[another-delta-lover]

Yooo just saw that post about your tf2 OCs can you show them👉👈(I’m interested)

I KNOW THIS ASK IS OLD ASF BUT I PROCASTINATED TOO MUCH I'M SOSO SORRY--

Anyway- here they are!!!! I only have two :3

Erica! :3 -

She's RED!soldier's adoptive daughter!! she found her in the battlefield, lost 😔😔😔 Her family abandoned her for [reason I haven't thought of yet XD].

She's LATINA!!!!!! FROM MY COUNTRY BC I'M AN EGOCENTRIC PIECE OF SHIT. (Chilean)

After she was adopted by soldier, she trained her to be the 2nd best soldier ever!!! She wears soldier's original (OLD) clothing :) .

She's now 20 and fighting along with her mom (mtf soldier) against the BLU:3.

She doesn't like her stepmom (Zhanna) and has beef with her and RED!Heavy bc of that :( .

Her father figure is RED!Engineer :)

She doesn't like the RED!Scout bc he tries to flirt w/ her and she's a LESBIAN!!!! (After scout comes out as trans [mtf] she doesn't like her edither bc she annoying XDD).

RED!Demoman is like a cool uncle to her:) and... she knows what he has done with BLU!Soldier >:( doesn't approve it.

RED!Medic freaks the shi out of her XDD He appeared in a nightmare of hers bc he creepy asf.

She doesn't mind RED!Sniper or RED!Pyro, they hang out sometimes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matthew Brown🏳️‍🌈 -

He's everyone's lawyer (literally. All the merc's (both red n blu), blutarch's, redmond's, administrator's, and even miss pauling's lawyer XDD TF2 LOGIC STFU.)

He's rich

He's HALF BRITISH AND HALF FRENCH. (I punished him twice)

He was RED!Spy's best childhood friend, they met when they were 14-16

He had a crush on Jacques when they were young... Sadly, that crush hasn't stopped 😔😔But he in denial.

He's rich asf

He had beef with Scout's ma bc SHE STOLE HIS MAN!!!!!!! But years after hain beef w her, he helped her raising the children SPY DIDN'T TAKE CARE OF!!!!!!

He's rich

He's RED!Scout and BLU!Scout's father figure 🤙🤙🤙 (I headcanon em as twins) After they both came out as trans, he gave em all the support they needed 🤙🤙🫶🫶

Did I mention that HE'S RICH ASF.

He wears all brown clothing. A brown EXPENSIVE suit, brown EXPENSIVE pants, a light brown EXPENSIVE shirt, Golden EXPENSIVE jewelry (Earrings, rings, a watch).

He's hated by both Erica and RED!Soldier for being FRENCH!!! AND BRITISH!!!!

He hangs out with Red!Demoman and BLU!Engineer often :)

He's cunty as RED!Medic, They always flirt with eachother (jokin, ofc). He gives him all the money he needs for his weird ass experiments.

He thinks Sniper is stinky. both of em. Specially The BLU!Sniper bc he's dating BLU!Scout.

He doesn't like RED!Pyro much tehy're dating RED!Scout.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AND THAT'S ALL!!1 My ask box is open if u want to ask em stuff (u u ) I REALLY, REALLY WOULDN'T MIND!!!

[augustrambles]

Aged up obviously Wendy x fem reader. Wendy had her first time w stan it was just really disappointing, like very rushed, Stan didn’t care abt her, and poor girl didn’t finish. :,) Wendy tells reader, her bsf, abt the experience and reader feels bad and offers so “help”. Lots of foreplay which leads to reader giving wendy gooood head 👍 I’m a sapphic advocate 🫡 get these stinky men outa here

A/N: I LOVE WENDY I LIVE WENDY I LAUGH WENDY I <3 WENDY YES YES GO SAPPHICS GO SAPPHICS GO ❗

listening to lovers rock while writing fanfics >>

wendy testaburger x fem!reader [highschool]

warnings: cheating, nsfw, eating out or cunnilingus however u call it, sheher pronouns, implied misogyny

"you might not be my first time, but i know you'll be my best time."

WENDY TESTABURGER. 3RD person.

bebe looked at wendy with gossip filled eyes. "soo? how did it go with you and stan doing ykwhat?" she smirked, the room filling up with giggles. "...not good." wendy replied. "he didn't really take much care of me. didnt even get to finish actually, he just.. u-used me." she started to tear up.

"sweetheart! how dare that man treat you like that?! piece of shit." [name] went up to hug her while wendy cried, the girls were also comforting wendy with comforting words. "how DARE that asshole just use you? i'm gonna have a serious talk with that dick." bebe said furiously. "yeah same here!!" "me too!"

as the girls left one by one, [name] continued hugging wendy. "darling i'm so sorry that happened to you." she said, wiping wendy's tears while continuing to comfort her. at some point, wendy stopped crying. "it's just.. he was my first time. i wanted it to be special, y-you know?" she stuttered.

"fuck him, wendy. i could totally show you a better time." [name] said, being physically annoyed at stan. "ye- wait what?" wendy said, looking at her best friend. "i said what i said, i could show you a way better time than that dick head!" she said, confidently.

"i-i'd like that." she stuttered, but this time because she was blushing slightly. "r-really? you sure?" [name] looked for reassurance. she nodded. "yeah. i'm too pent up 'cause stan treated me so horribly."

[name] grabbed wendy's cheek, her nails tracing over the other's facial features, she smiled, blushing as wendy saw her with a open-mouthed expression, as if she realized something. [name] then kissed her on the nose, and then on the lips. that moment was so special for the both of them. butterflies flew through eachother's stomach. as their mouths parted, they stood up. "you wanna go upstairs?" wendy asked, blushing still as [name]'s cheeks were also as red as ever. "yeah, sure." she replied.

. . .

as wendy laid on the bed, [name] held her tight. "i promise you, wendy, i'll treat you right." wendy fell at ease with her words. [name] made out with her and they slowly removed their clothing. as the clothes got on the floor, they stopped kissing. on the lips at least, [name] started to kiss wendy's body, whispering praise loud for her to hear. "such a beautiful woman, i'll take care of all your needs, like you deserve it, darling."

she smiled so hard at [name]'s praises. "could i?" [name] asked, looking at wendy while having her face between wendy's thighs. "yeah, do anything you want." wendy smiled, feeling good. [name] started licking wendy's womanhood slowly, feeling nice as she heard wendy feel the pleasure she deserved. [name] felt wendy tugging her hair, she smiled as she continued, going faster.

"mmm.. [name], y-you're so good at this, aah!" she moaned, groping her tits for comfort as her head threw back. [name] smiled at wendy praising her. "g-go faster!" she yelled as she tugged [name]'s hair harder, [name] complied and did as requested.

"i-i'm gonna c-cumm!" she yelled, as [name] didn't stop, resulting in her face being filled with wendy's cum. she started wiping it off and licking it. wendy felt so nice, "hold on, lemme wash my face." [name] said as she walked into the bathroom which was in the bedroom. wendy lifted the blanket to cover herself up, feeling cold due to the air touching her nude body.

[name] walked back in, lying down wendy as well. wendy looked at [name] with a confusing face. "aren't you going to ask for anything..?" she asked. [name] said no with her head. "no, silly. this night is for you, and you only. i wanna focus on your desires, plus i'm fine." she said, as wendy felt tears prick from her eyes. she hugged [name] tightly, as if she would dissapear if she let go. "i love you so much, [name]." she said. [name] kissed her on the head. "i love you more, my love."

[deer-hearted]

I... procrastinated.

Have a WIP of god knows what under working name of "There are two geniuses in the room, but nothing still gets done".

Full speech transcript below (cause there's hella lot of it, and my pencil got messy).

1. Stanford bothers Rick

R: (to himself) O-okay, come here, you nasty piece of-

F: (slams the door) RICK, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE

F: (slams the rock on Rick's work desk & throws off his entire experiment) This is pure fiction, I can't believe I have come across such a rare specimen!

R: What the..!

F: This is the best chance to study the properties of a silicon-based life form! Oh stars, this is just like in Star Trek, I bet Gordon J. from the University would eat his own tie if he (saw this with his own eyes).

R: (pissed off) I spent a month on this bacterial colony! What the hell?!

F: How about we find a means to ask it some questions? Will the necessary equipment be too hard to acquire? Or if it is already dead, we can perform an autopsy so it won't go to waste; just give me a minute to bring my notes and (gloves, so we can begin).

R: Is your ass even listening?! Fuck up your own desk!!!

R: (tired) That- that's it, I'm dumping your fucking rock into a volcano.

F: Do you think it will be melted?

R: U-uh.

F: Could we... fish it out later? To run some tests?

R: (even more tired) I hate you so much.

2. Rick bothers Stanford

R: (very drunk) H-hey, Fordsey, h-hey, watcha doin', buddy, how- how's it going?

F: (jolts awake) Gah!

R: It's- it's a matter of life and death, Fordsey. Life and death. Like, the real deal.

F: (still confused) Is someone hurt?

R: So there's- there's this world-

F: Yes?

R: ...where- where dolphins are the most intelligent (burps) creatures, and tonight is their big day, Fordsey.

R: (leans uncomfortably close) They- they have filmed their own version of Alien, Fordsey, the Alien with dolphins in it, this- this is going to be a blast, and today is the premiere day. I- I already bought us tickets. And they- they have that limited merchandise with an alien bursting out of dolphin's chest, and- and it's gonna cost a shit ton of blemflarks later...

F: (annoyed and definitely not impressed) Rick, in just two hours I have to be in XW-614 system to record its binary stars' collision for posterity.

R: (falls off the bed) We- we have to go now. So our future selves can die in peace.

F: (sighs) Why are you like that.

3. It is unknown to science as to why these two haven't murdered each other yet.

R: (sips his coffee) S-so, that Alien movie? I had a guy to copy it for me. We can watch it at home.

F: (very much not awake) Sweet.

R: And- and by the way, I didn't throw your rock into a volcano.

F: Is that so?

R: Nah, I totally did.

F: Great. I didn't hire that assassin for nothing, then.

R: Jokes aside, Pines, you didn't do it.

F: Guess, you'll have to wait and see.

(Rick passed out drunk on the floor)

(Stanford overslept the collision)

[communist-hatsunemiku]

i dont want to sound mean or rude when i say this, but u not wanting the boops is really adorable, not in a bad way, but the fact that u want something more is really different than what others here want, i believe ur valid for not wanting the boops, even though i participated in it, it was annoying to see the post after post about them and to be spammed a lot, im curious, do u have anything else to say about them? i want to know ur pov

youre not being mean or rude, i actually really love your ask

I'm having difficulty putting to words how I feel, but ima do it anyway.

I clearly see people having fun, engaging with people, engaging with strangers they wouldn't have otherwise. And in this era of extreme alienation and loneliness, kind of a dick move to be like "you guys are fucking sheeple". People are going to enjoy this and have fun, people HAVE enjoyed this and had fun, I'm not trying to take that away from anyone.

But it does feel like we're all in platos cave just fucking dancing. Have you ever taken your finger and booped someone you love on their nose and said boop! It's wonderful and their microsecond of confusion followed by a big smile is something everyone on earth needs to experience, it's a quintessential human thing imho.

Pressing a little icon on my phone to make a number go up on someone elses phone as a means of human connection just feels fucking dumb.

It feels bad. And the fervor with which the tumblr user base dove into this feature was really crazy to me, people who I thought wouldn't buy into this shit were wholeheartedly participating. And I can't really blame them! We are all so desperate for... something, even if that something is scraps. A scrap of a scrap tbh.

The takeaway of this is that we all need to be a little more willing to take the leap and send that message or ask. Talk to your mutuals! If you have something to say about a post someone posted, say it! If you want to send a post directly to someone, do it! If you like someone, let them know!

I love it when people send me asks like this, I love it when people send me Miku stuff, I love it when people comment about how much they love a certain piece of art or music, I love it when people literally say with their words how they feel about me and my blog.

We can build a community that doesn't need a dumbass boop button.

[zan0tix]

And it was nice to see you actually enjoyed a media ive enjoyed, I wanted to enjoyed it, but it was hard because ive hearing contants negatives about the fandom in social media (how ive feeling negatives that people dont like dirkjake) So hearing u enjoyed dirkjake make feel better that maybe i can enjoyed homestuck again, so thankies :0

PRO TIP FOR BEING A HOMESTUCK FAN: Log off twitter! 💕

Homestuck is soooo fun and enjoyable when you dont have a bitch in your ear telling you everything about it and all the characters that arent dave or karkst suck 24/7!!!! OFC READ IT CRITICALLY when homestuck is Bad its badbad but damn if homestuck isnt GOOD when its good. Its really fun to analyse and discuss the good parts theres so many interwoven pieces that all fit together somehow I LOVE IT.

I think the best way to enjoy is homestuck is to find friends! Ive had the most fun here by reaching out and befriending mutuals who like it as much as i do and sharing our ideas together. Ive literally muted all the annoying ship names and homestuck tags on twitter because its made my experience there so much more fun😭

If people dont have actual analysis or evidence from the comic behind what theyre saying IDGAF. I feel so much more at peace not listening to people lie at eachother about characters and then all congratulate eachother about “being right”

People shit on literally every ship there. And then everyone in the comments will agree with them LMAO ITS SO WEIRD. Personally i really enjoy having canon material to think about since like i said before theres so many moving parts its so interesting to see how they all come together with the bigger picture and greater themes!! So i love thinking about the canon relationships way more.

I think alot of fandom opinions come from prior experiences detached from canon content itself, the dirkjake yaoi apocalypse was real and i think made alot of people hate them😭 when in canon theyve got so much substance and are really important to act 6.

If you didnt get to have fun with homestuck because of fandom opinions id reccomend trying to read it again ^^! Its way more enjoyable appreciating all the artistry and complexities of the narrative for yourself than trying to fit the understandings of people who erm probably dont have sources to backup their claims about things. Theyre usually just saying things online to get interaction bait 😭

Thank you for the asks though!! I really appreciate it :D I hope anything i said was helpful or insightful LOL im so good at rambling about homestuck (insane)

[philcollinsenjoyer]

🥰📚🙅‍♀️ ILY 👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻👩🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

🥰 what tropes do you gravitate toward?

don't have any particular tropes i'm interested in i fear

���� what makes a good fic for you? what do you look for in a reading experience?

fanfiction for me is at its best when it offers u new insight into a character it's really what i want when i open something like someone who gets in there and thinks about it that hard. i'm not a big plot person which you'll see if you read what i write but i like thinky stuff (as much as possible wjen it's fanfiction) taking a behaviour and saying well why is this person behaving this way. and telling it in an engaging way not even by saying here's why but with a series of details that u reader can put together and think oh this is what's wrong. i think what makes something good is seeing in the text that the author really thought about this and has something to say. i despise stuff written to fulfill a trope or a quota or a writing challenge

🙅 whats an instant nope for you?

call me old fashioned but all lowercase. it's not that hard to follow a few rules this isn't a tweet it's a piece of writing. i know it's a stylistic choice but i also choose to be annoyed by it. this is the immediate one after that it's people who switch around present tense and past tense sometimes in the same sentence it drives me insane. people who use too much italics. one word every 1k words that's it or it loses any impact. epithets holyyyy shit though i've learned to ignore it if the rest is good.

[vampfucker666]

hiii sorry if youve gotten this question b4 but can i ask how youre playing sims 2? i know that theres ways to download it these days since u cant buy it anymore...but i dont know how trustworthy any of those options are lol its confusing! i love your little sims posts i think theyre so awesome theyre whats making me want to try the game out myself :D

oh hehe im glad ur enjoying them!!! ts2 is genuinely one of my FAVORITE games so i hope you like it too ^^ i have mine modded to shit so if u ever want any mod recs...

r/sims2help's wiki guide is really good, I would highly recommend using the web installer they link it makes it piss easy. I've installed the game using both the web installer and the g4tw torrent and the web installer is better lol. I've never had good luck with graphicsrulemaker though so u may have to go in and edit that file yourself (fixes the game not recognizing that ur gpu usnt a piece a 2004 shit basically)

I really recommend using lazyduchess's RPC launcher as well, the web installer will download it for you as an option. It fixes an important bug relating to sim genetics and fixes sim shadows without the need for a separate mod. There's quite a few other options too but I don't use them (like high quality lot imposters. crashes my game lol)

If you have an AMD graphics card, you may experience really long start times for your game (like itll show up in task manager for 10 minutes before actually launching) so like. DON'T panic i had this issue lol. You'll want to follow this guide to installing dxvk just don't install it if ur not having #problems bc it does have some tradeoffs.

I think that should be pretty much it as far as getting the game to run goes, there's a few mods that you'll want to have but I really would not worry about it until you know you're gonna be playing this game for a While bc some of their setups are really fucking annoying (clean neighborhood templates...)

If you have any questions at all feel free to DM me or send another ask!! We need more ts2 players lol ^^

[chimericchaos]

Minor rant, yes I did just come from the Big Tugg video on how english is stupid and I entirely agree with him on that

What I do not at all agree with is the opening of the video entirely dedicated to hating children - he just goes out of his way to say "oh yeah before I start this video, I fucking hate kids" and then gives a list of things kids don't know, (because, they're kids) and dunk on them for not knowing stuff

And I find it kinda ironic the person who says that kids should not feel proud of learning- sorry, memorizing- the alphabet, also mispronounces the word Celtic not ten seconds later. Perhaps we all could learn a thing or two by expanding our general knowledge and studying cultures and languages outside our own?

Speaking of languages, side-tangent-within-a-side-tangent, removing s or k and compounding them both into c is a shit take that I'm seeing way too much, when the obvious answer is to get rid of c, it only functions as a replacement for s or k and in either function it creates unnecessary problems (it's really unnecessary for "unnecessary" to be spelt like that but different topic) and that's why a Bunch of fucking languages around the world do Not include a c, such as the language I was forced to learn since birth and Still cannot speak: Afrikaans. There is not a single c in that language and I have never had a spelling mistake from s or k ever. Other mistakes sure but not concerning those.

And you may be wondering "well why can't we just contract the sounds into less letters to save space in the alphabet?" Because while that would not necessarily be so bad, that shit gets real out of hand real fast the more you do it, and all I'm saying is don't come knocking when you can't spell doodle when your a's are also e's and your u's are also i's

Anyway back to the topic of hating kids

This may seem like a wildly specific rant about one youtuber mentioning it offhand once, but I assure you this is not the first time today I've heard this. I hear this multiple times a week. From different people

For some damn reason it's kinda always been a popular take to hate kids and openly talk about how much one would like to see them suffer, and I don't fucking understand it at all???

Like, ok, you find their constant questions and mumbles and movements and other weird sounds very annoying, cool, I find the several cats outside my window doing many unsavoury things to each other each and every night annoying but I still don't talk about it like it's ok to hurt them

And maybe we can take a moment to rationalize the fact that kids tend to ask a lot of dumb things and say a lot of dumb things, because they're dumb?? they have far less experience on this earth than anyone who knows the definition of "economy", and do not yet know how to do basic living shit like how to cook a whole ass chicken, and they don't need to just yet, that's the point

People who don't know shit are going to do and say things as a consequence of not knowing shit

And this is very much a long-winded vent about something that doesn't really effect me at all, but I do in fact see it as a personal problem because not too long ago I too was a kid that didn't know shit, and I was a piece of shit because of it, sure, but something I very much remember is having to deal with people who hated me simply for existing, and I no longer have to deal with people hating my existange as a child, yes, but I still have various other unchangable things about myself that people hate me for, so through that experience I don't think it's a good thing to hate kids just because they're kids, regardless of how annoying the youtube comments are, and at the very least if you're going to think the spawn of your fellow humans are actually the spawn of satan, please do not talk about like it's a normal ass thing

And hey, maybe there's also a part of my brain that has yet to even fucking register that I'm in my roaring 20's now, so that may be why when I come across people hating kids I feel personally attacked

So with that knowledge, if you say to me that you hate kids, for whatever reason, rest assured I already hate you

[powerfulblob]

There’s also something about the ways in which people spend their whole fandom experience talking shit about how “useless” or “annoying” the actual marginalized characters are…

Instead of. I don’t know.

Actually going to read books and watch movies by BIPOC, disabled, queer, and otherwise marginalized folks.

Please: Instead of reblogging that 1000-word, rightfully angry thinkpiece about whatever BIPOC character in whatever show…

GO READ BOOKS RECOMMENDED AND WRITTEN BY ACTUAL BIPOC FOLKS.

Are they going to cover universal experiences? No!

Will they always be good: Of course not! Most writing is crap, and giving much higher standards to marginalized folks is just. Absolutely ridiculous.

There’s so much variety: I actually love reading “trashy” things, and holy Fuck… Please read actual camp. And I’m not talking about OFMD. Like go to a library and pick up something unsanitized.

And also, some important advice: DON’T BE A FUCKING JERK WHILE READING.

Like, I know some people who just picked up one book by an Indigenous author and who just. Immediately bitched about how “bad” and “unrelatable it is.”

It was for a project in school:

The book was There There, by Tommy Orange.

We weren’t even assigned more than the first chapter by that point.

Please don’t do this. Please give the same patience to marginalized authors that you do to the 50k slow-burn fic about those two white dudes that I know you’re able to read.

“But powerfulblob, I’m literally queer and disabled! I don’t have time!”

You know what? So am I.

But I still take time to do this.

On the topic of attention: I know this is the neurodivergent website, so here are some tips that have helped me:

- Before you call me out: I’m literally diagnosed with psychotic symptoms. So while these strategies won’t work for everyone (since no strategies are full-proof, just like how not all media will resonate)… I get it.

0) PLAIN LANGUAGE SUMMARIES. If there’s a ton of language that might be confusing, don’t just give up yet… look up the plain language summary. A perfect example of this is Year of the Tiger: An Activist’s life, by disability advocate Alice Wong. She provided a free summary on her website (PDF here).

Here’s an example:

“I learned some characters in 注音 zhù yīn and how to write my name. Zhù yīn is a system of writing out the way Mandarin Chinese sounds in the English alphabet that is most commonly used for Taiwanese Mandarin”

And yes, plain language text is an accessibility aid.

My stance on people using plain language even if they don’t self-identify as disabled is, well… Okay. Like, with most accessibility aids (subtitles, etc.) if it helps you? Use it! Not only are you helping to make it less stigmatized (safety in numbers; etc.) you might learn something about yourself.

Please please please give this book a read though.

There’s various art pieces in throughout (good for attention issues): highlights include “Big Pussy Power,” “Disability Fight Club,” “S. T. F. U. White People”.

1) Buy a short story collection instead of a novel. If I’m hyperfixating on a specific thing and can barely focus on anything else: Trust me, this is helpful. I would highly recommend the afrofuturist and queer “The Memory Librarian,” a collaboration between Janelle Monáe and a group of highly talented writers. The world building is fantastic, so I would recommend it to other sci-if fans. Also, similarly to @derinthescarletpescatarian ; the writing style is very neurodivergent friendly in that it’s engaging, consistently, enough to make sure it’s keeping my attention . “Queer Little Nightmares is excellent as well; And contains poetry, short fiction, and other quick pieces that were short enough to make sure I didn’t get understimulated.

2) Like, don’t set yourself up for failure… if you know you hate historical fiction, read sci-fin instead! Hate slice-of-life? WHY ARE YOU PICKING UP SLICE-OF-LIFE? You know, contrary to popular opinion, there are tons of folks breaking into every industry (or trying to, but are unable because the publishing companies are fucking pricks)… As said by bell hooks, you cannot think that a memoir represents universal experiences. Same goes for a fiction with predominantly Asian casts, for example. BUT: There is value in reading these, even if they’re not “representative,” and are more “niche,” because it shows writers and publishing firms that there’s a market. An audience. And plus, you’ll likely end up actually finishing the work. Should you read books that challenge you? Yes! But you shouldn’t let your only point of contact with marginalized folks in fiction be in books about trauma. Because that’s just having a saviour complex. I am a huge advocate of reading fun books as well as the ones that go into the intricacies of trauma and oppression, because: well. I know people who only read the latter and it is NOT a good experience to be around them. Like these are the people who unironically ask me for books to “represent the queer community” or shit, after literally not speaking to me more than three times. Like… Please interact with marginalized folks, and their writing, in ways that aren’t so… rude? Paternalistic? There’s nothing wrong with reading a book because it seems fun: In fact, it will likely help you when you DO read something a bit more serious, because it allows you to see people as. You know. Humans who have emotions other than grief.

Happy reading, and go read books, watch movies, and listen to voices that aren’t some random-ass white dude!

Character: is a white man. That’s it.

Fandom: how dare you dislike this femme-coded female-coded gay-coded disabled-coded mentally ill-coded icon

[icanseethefuture333]

boysplanet imho is one of the better shows that ive watched and i watched most produce ones too but it always seem to boil down to a) their "star quality" than b) what talent they dont have and my gripe with survival shows is actually talented

whereas on boysplanet i felt it was kinda even like there were some really talented ppl in the auditions and one guy even brought out a violin and played bach but let me just say, i do think its bizzare how trainees who have something great going for them really do give up their potential and wind up in lame project groups that arent set to last. then they shovel them about like glorified sofas or a piece of furinture until they find a group thats long lasting. its a shame bc all the ones i like sometimes debut but not always the case

like with pd48 it was whos pretty and popular and ngl the pd shows were rigged asf anyway. i just hope the katseye girls had done some research on the kpop world?! it is the least accepting of different backgrounds / nationality and imho foreigners shouldnt expect it to cater to them when foreigners are seen as basically exotic they just going to be exploited for something or other ahem drama. and in fact why would anyone blindly apply for kpop agency when u seen how much shit the idols genuinely go thru. it aint easy and defo gives them trauma at the end of the day

I used to watch some shows of Produce but I stopped because I felt annoyed every time because there was issues with colorism and racism and so on (I’ll never forgive what they did to Samuel!).

I think the girls definitely underestimated the whole experience and only some were prepared to fight for what they wanted. I think the whole training period could of definitely been longer Bang PD and the whole staff put way too much pressure on those girls, also some of them spoke to them so disrespectfully I would have gotten in trouble and cussed somebody out at that point if I was them (cus who tf are you talking to?). I realized that just because someone is training you doesn’t mean they can’t be envious and hateful as well because that’s definitely how Missy and Nikky were acting towards the girls. Referring people as “boring” or giving your opinion on who should or should not debut is none of their business because they don’t get to decide, HYBE and the fans does.

I don’t like dance teachers who use being “strict” as an excuse to be malicious towards their students, who wants to go into a classroom everyday with someone who’s rude all the time???

[borderline-gays-club]

It’s funny cus about week 2of my obsession (or Mayb even earlier) I remember like looking for something wrong with my obsession. And I couldn’t find anything substantial at least so I was like was this person is close to perfect and that scared me lol.

Esp now that I know myself more deeply and I’m learning everyday how to be in healthy relationships with my little chosen family. And I see the intricacies, contradictions, complications, behavioral patterns in myself more and more, and then I see all this in my friends and then to come together, to work together, to actively be in relationships is a lot going on all at once.

But ya anyway my rational brain has been alert towards my emotional obsessed brain. Fully knowing she is a capitalist (like worked with Gucci + adidas etc type of thing). And I mean to be that famous and rich, ur inherently doing something dirty…like I don’t kno how much money she makes but I’m sure it’s significant. And either way working with mainstream channels (like NHK, I-d) and mainstream brands, like ur willing and ready to sell a piece of ur soul lol. And like u can’t hav that much money and fame and be ethical abt it.

And damn I was just slapped hard with the reality of it all. There’s a point where u can’t ignore it. And I guess that’s the high of the whole experience of obsession: the blissful ignorance (or worse, fully knowing a problem but rationalizing ur way out of it).

And ya I’m annoyed that it ended so quickly and so abruptly for me. But I mean any obsession is inherently toxic and I knew that while in it. But it was giving me a lot of heightened energy which I honestly need to survive rn. That’s why I was like cool, I’ll just ride with this cus it’s actually helpful now. Cus now I’m just faced with the full reality of how fucked everything is in general and I don’t have my delusion to like mask it temporarily.

So Now I gotta fight the void everyday that’s trying to eat away at me. Find the energy, the hope, and strength in myself without an external person motivating me. I also want to be cautious of gaslighting myself and creating the narrative that this disappointment is silly cus I never even knew her. But that’s just the surface of a deeper internal sadness. So let me sit with this disappointment and accept it for what it is.

Sigh. There’s really no winning with this shit. The only thing I can do is to keep pushing and fighting and I really just need to b fucking patient. I can’t let this shit eat me alive.