#Experiencing this twice in 36 years is not enough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

femcelbassmentdweller · 5 months ago

Text

Overview of My First Year of HRT (2021-2022)

Hi, my name is Sylvie, and I'm transfemme! I started hormone replacement therapy on September 25th, 2021 and I've been through quite a lot on my journey to a year of HRT so I'm making two separate posts: this one focusing on the medical side and physical changes, and another that will focus on the social side of transitioning. So, here we go!

I realized I was trans the last week of August 2021, then September 9th I came out publicly, September 15th I had my first appointment with Plume, and I received my first Estradiol script September 24th, but consider my official "first day" of HRT the 25th.

I started HRT on sublingual Estradiol pills, 2mg twice a day (morning and night). Psychologically, taking the first pill hit me like a psychosomatic lightning bolt, and the first meaningful change estrogen granted me was an opening of my feelings- I could suddenly experience a "true range" of emotion, I experienced ambivalence for the first time. Physically, within the first week, I was experiencing tingling in my chest/nipples and by three weeks they actively ached, and after about two months my nipples looked different (darker, larger), and my chest started to stick out (36" to 37")

At 2 months my Estradiol was increased to three times a day and Progesterone 100mg (at night) added. By two months, my body's sensitivity had reached astronomical levels, particularly in areas that weren't sensitive before: for me, this was my nipples, armpits, and butt. My skin overall became more sensitive, slight touches made me quiver and my pain tolerance dropped sharply. During my second month my body's smell changed too and my sweat production cut back.

At 3 months, Spironolactone 50mg once a day (morning) was added and during this month my nipples had noticeably expanded and become dark enough to see through shirts, and my chest had grown enough to be noticeable small mounds in a tight shirt (38"). Also by 3 months, random erections completely stopped happening, whether asleep or awake.

Between months 3 and 5 a lot of things happened in my life; the stress and inactivity caused me to lose 50 lbs. As a result, I lost a ton of muscle mass. My thighs, upper arms, and butt became soft and jiggly, I could not lift things I could before, even with great effort.

3 month bloodwork results: E @ 133 and T @ 320

At 4 months, I asked my doctor for Finasteride, which is a DHT blocker- DHT is an androgen created by testosterone and an excess of DHT is related to hair loss, as well as some research I read back then relating to DHT and thicker/darker body hair. Since starting Finasteride, I have only shaved and used Nair on my body itself and I have experienced 75%-80% body hair loss, and much of what hair remains is now vellus hair (light, short, soft).

Between months 4 and 5, I started experiencing sexual dysfunction. Even if aroused, it was a 50/50 shot of whether I could get hard or not. Likewise, I began producing much less semen. This was when I started experimenting with different forms of masturbating too (i.e. using a vibrator).

Between months 5 and 6 I started gaining weight again, and this was when my breast growth was the greatest, going from 38" to almost 41". However, in the growth it seems I lost the sensitivity I had in the early months- my nipples and armpits are still erogenous zones, but not as potent. Additionally, I noticed fat redistribution caused my hips and waist to take a more stereotypically feminine, almost hourglass appearance (and increased from 32" and 34" respectively to 35" and 38" by 10 months).

6 month bloodwork results: E @ 258 and T @ 22

Months 7, 8, and 9 saw only slight breast growth (41 1/2") due to losing weight again from stress, but at this point I have very little body hair left, and even areas which were full before (armpits, groin) thinned out significantly over time- the most astounding of all being my butt, which the cheek hair just disappeared without me doing anything, like the hair just fell off.

Somewhere during months 8 and 9, I completely lost the ability to become erect without medication (doctor prescribed me Sildenafil, aka viagra) and no more ejaculating. Reaching orgasm became a concentrated effort instead of something that came easily, and very little clear liquid would come out during.

9 month bloodwork results: E @ 57 and T @ 28

For some reason my levels dropped between 6 and 9 months, and during that time I became very mentally and emotionally unwell due to the hormone imbalances. My doctor suggested a few things: me not waiting/letting the pill dissolve long enough in my mouth or the pill just not having the same potency on me anymore. So...

At month 10 I started injections and almost immediately started feeling much better. There is a hormonal low day for me every week, the day before I do my injection again, but it's not hard to deal with. I feel like myself!

Now months 11 and 12, nothing really noteworthy to update except I'm desperately trying to eat more so I can gain weight to grow my boobs. Just stopped taking Spiro though, but I use Tgel to maintain my girldick because I'm a Switch.

Lastly, I'd like to say I'm open to any questions anyone might have, and I'll do my best to answer them. You can DM me, email me secretly from a fake account ([email protected] is my email), whatever! I just hope this information is of some value to someone out there!

59 notes · View notes

makutaservaela · 5 months ago

Text

Timing Ramble

I was going to ramble about reproduction, complete with cute drawings of babies, but I started writing a little note about time, and then I got distracted. Let's tackle this first.

I think I speak for a lot of us when I say the timing in Bionicle is kinda annoying. This is generally the way I handle it:

(Sorry that my maths are probably garbage. Knowing me, I probably messed up one number and then threw off everything else. I tried to keep it simple.)

One of the biggest sticking points to me is that Kiina was described as "in her mid 30s", yet she was in the Core War, AND Gresh was considered too young to have been in the Core War, but old enough to have experienced it.

Bionicle characters process time differently than humans do, and/or their words for passing time aren't the same as ours. Canonically, Spherus Magnan days (and MU Days) last 36 hours split into morning-noon and noon-midnight. We don't know how long an "hour" or "year" are, though, as far as I know. We don't even know if a "year" refers to a full rotation around Solis Magna. It could refer to something else.

Cervatus lived for about 265,000 years before dying of natural causes. Let's say he lived longer than the average, and the average is 250,000 to clean the numbers.

However, the Great Beings also extended the lifespans of SMnans. Let's say they slowed down the adult span, so an SMnan is an adult for twice as long as a human is. At age 20, you would feel 19. 30 years later at age 50, you would feel 35.

Human lifespans average about 85ish- 3 of infant, 9 of child, 6 of adolescence, 50 of adulthood, and 15 of seniorhood.

One year for humans is 1.2% of our lifespans. Presuming a human gets that lifespan increase, they now live to 130-140ish, so now one year is .71% of their lifespan.

.71% of 250,000 is 1,775. They process/pass about 1,800 years as we pass 1, or in other words, when they say something took "1,000 years", imagine having done that thing for 5.5 months. The Island of Mata Nui was inhabited for about 5.5 months, which isn't too bad an idea given how low the technology they had and how little of the island they had tamed. There were supposed to be 1,000ish Matoran on Mata Nui, and in 5.5 months, 1,000ish people working that diligently could likely accomplish what we saw there.

The one downside to this is when things happen in month or single year increments. I don't think Farshtey, or whoever else picked these numbers, can really comprehend how long this time takes.

Generally, I read "one year" or "one month" increments the same way I read "one foot". We know there is a standard unit of measurement (Bio, Kio, and Mio), but we also know that, as Farshtey put it, "things don't translate properly" to chalk up why occasionally characters reference things out-of-universe, like foot/mile. I honestly loved how he was roleplaying as just some scribe translating and transcribing a story.

Anyway, for small ranges, I would compare them more to human experience (translated poorly) while for large ranges, I would take them literally. In other words, 100,000 years is 100,000 years (56 years to us), while 1 year is 1,775 years (1 year to us). This would mean the events of the book took place longer than the Matoran were on Mata Nui before the Toa, which given how quickly they changed the Toa's mask statues to match their Nuva masks, isn't actually that farfetched. Matoran move fast.

An Agori, if their child development was similar to ours, has the following aging:

1 year = 1,775

Infant until 5,325 years

Child until 21,300 years

Adolescent until 31,950 years

Adult until 209,450

Average Death by old age around 248,500, give or take a few ten thousand.

This means the Core War was about 56 years ago. Presuming Glatorian are expected to fight basically as soon as they can keep up with the other warriors, let's say they start combat equivalent to age 10. We'll put Kiina around 13 in the Core War, or (in story: 23,075), and around her mid 30s now (123,075). Farshtey's estimation was her being in her mid 30s, so this weird math I pulled out of my ass coincidentally works perfectly. Gresh was 6 or 7 (or in story: 12,425) and around late 20s to early 30s

Any time I mention "years" after this, presume I am running off of this math. I will use the human comparisons (ex. Gestation takes almost 1 year) when rambling, but in the actual fanfictions and/or comics, I may switch back and forth if I don't remember to exclusively stick to in-story timing (ex. A pregnant character describing their gestation as having taken almost 1,700 years) and in the same vein, if a character in the story said, "Makuta take 9,000 years to wean and Skakdi take 600 years". The reader would know (presuming a human weans at 1.5 years) "Makuta take three times as long as a human child to wean, and Skakdi take 1/3rd the time a human takes to wean".

At the current point of the story, the first generation of MUian Second-Gens have just reached young adulthood. Presuming this means they are in their early 20s, they are around 40,000 years old. Kiina is 163000, or in her 40s.

I started my Headcanon in 2009, and didn't actually read the Bara Magna stories until years later, and even then, literally only started caring about them this year. That's why the BMnans, save Malum, Sahmad, don't appear in my HC at all (those two appear prominently because I actually got their sets, so I had reason to care about them). This is also why I accidentally gave Chirox's daughter the same name as a Glatorian: Tarix, although given that the Glatorian's name is pronounced Tah-rix, and the Makuta is Tehr-ix, I might just retcon her name to change the spelling.

Terix sounds too close to "Teridax" though.

Also of important note, the MUians weren't really aging before, and in their new organic bodies, they started out physically younger. The MUians were set to a physical age of between 25-40 depending on how experienced the person had (therefore how much more of a developed brain they need).

TL;DR

In order to get a Bio-Character's comparative human age, divide the number by 1775, unless their age is over 40,000. If it's over 40,000, then subtract 40,000, cut that number in half, divide by 1775, then add 18.

#bionicle #lore #fan theory

9 notes · View notes

cindylouwho-2 · 8 months ago

Text

ETSY’S 2023 TRANSPARENCY REPORT: Still Minimal Progress On Harming Innocent Sellers

But they might finally be taking some Trust & Safety issues a bit more seriously?

(Image ©️ Etsy) It's amusing that Etsy chose to head up this report with an image of a human hand grabbing a paper folder, since almost all of their oversight seems automated these days.

Etsy's annual "Transparency Report" is out, and much of it isn't a whole lot different than the 2022 version, but there are a few developments worth noting.

It looks like they didn't like me calling them out for their policy flags having a 95% error rate in 2022, so they didn't provide the total number flags from 2023, meaning no one reading this report in isolation would be able to calculate Etsy's false flag rate as I did last year. Fortunately, they did provide enough figures that I can do the math backwards using 2022's totals, so I can update that number.

It seems like the might finally be treating a few of the largest problems a bit more seriously, as they are showing some improvement in several areas. A lot of this feels a bit too little, too late to me, though.

Let's dig in and see what else is interesting...

Policy Enforcement

In last year's report, Etsy claimed there were 36 million flags of "potentially non-compliant content" and 1.9 million listings removed "for violating our policies". That report said 95% of the flags were automated (aka bots), so almost entirely internal to Etsy, not from buyers or sellers. There is no way to know whether the bots were more accurate at reporting possible infractions than humans were, as we didn't get that information. When you do the overall calculations, though, that means almost 95% of the flags were declared false, and the listings were allowed to stay on the site. So 19 out of 20 flagged items were not violations, but were removed or deindexed while investigated (which can take weeks).

For 2023, Etsy says they reduced the number of flags by a full 10%, which would leave only 32.4 million flags, a number they curiously omitted from the report. They also removed twice as many listings as in 2022, for a total of 3.8 million. That means that over 7 out of 8 items flagged (and often removed temporarily) were not policy violations, or 88.3% of the total.

Well, that's better than 95%, but it is still atrociously lousy. Surely there must be a better way to program these automated systems? After all, the corporation has been using them for years - why don't they work better by now? Don't forget that temporarily removing or deindexing a listing is not without consequences for the innocent sellers. They lose potential sales while the item isn't available/searchable, and they also lose traction in Etsy's algorithms during that time, which is sometimes irreversible. In short, 1 out of 8 is bad, as in incompetently bad.

It gets worse when you realize 2 things:

some of the removed listings were not violations. While some sellers can occasionally get those listings reinstated after several weeks of appeals [7 weeks!], others simply give up, or never get beyond the first-level cut and paste fiasco that is now seller support on Etsy. I get emails on this topic almost daily. That means some of the 11.7% of flags that Etsy brags about should not have been permanently removed. The corporation's true success rate is even lower than that abysmal score.

many, many violations that should be easy to remove through automated systems are still up. Of course, there will always be new violations, and no business this large should be expected to have a perfect record, but when entire shops full of manufactured snack foods thrown in to a cardboard box are still open after years and even feature the Star Seller badge, you can see that Etsy isn't going for the low-hanging fruit.

Remember, Etsy's Gift Basket Policy says "a care package for new parents, a college student, or somebody experiencing an illness containing any new items you did not make is not allowed, no matter how caringly curated it otherwise is."

I've flagged this twice in the last 2+ years:

It's a clear violation, but the last time I flagged it, the shop was a Star Seller. Etsy never removes the listing, and is clearly not serious about getting rid of these supposedly-disallowed items. I mean, I am even doing the flag part for them! They only have to review it.

Heck, you don't need a bot to distinguish "care packages"; just search for Cheetos, or for KitKats, and you could clear out a ton of food/gift basket violations as well as counterfeit ones. Etsy could do way better here. I don't expect perfection, but after several years of practice, I do expect some basic competence, especially when livelihoods are at stake. Anyone proud of a 11.7% accuracy rate isn't living in the real world.

Violations of Etsy's Handmade Policies

The above numbers are for all policy violations. For handmade specifically, Etsy removed 4 times as many listings and twice as many sellers as they did in 2022 (when they increased non-handmade removals by 4 times over 2021's totals). As has been mentioned in a few quarterly financial reports, they now estimate how many shoppers might come across a problem listing before it gets removed, which is called the "Not Handmade Violative View rate (VVR)." This rate improved by 60% from April to the end of 2023, and got down to "the low single digits".

In theory, this sounds great - improve Etsy's image by hiding or removing the items they most often get called out for. Problem is, if they only count the items that do get removed, they are missing the bigger group of all the violations that never get flagged or removed in the first place. More transparency on how they actually "estimate" this number would be helpful.

Another problem in this area is that the handmade flags are not being handled the way Etsy says they are. The Transparency Report states:

"Now, when a listing is flagged by our automated controls for potentially violating our Handmade Policy, it'll remain active but not appear in search results and recommendations in order to give our specialists time to review the listing. Our team will determine if it should be removed, or if it can be sold on Etsy and be made visible again. The review process typically takes between 24 and 48 hours."

This matches what Etsy announced in September 2023, when they acknowledged that their takedowns were harming innocent shops. They even said that

"we’ll also be working to add more transparency to let sellers know if their listings have been temporarily removed from search for review...Any listings not reviewed within 48 hours will automatically be made visible in search and recommendations."

However, we know that is not happening for many shops. I have heard of very few people who were warned their item had been deindexed for up to 48 hours while a human being reviews it. And if Etsy were removing products from search first but not notifying sellers, we would definitely hear about, as many shop owners track their search position daily.

What I do hear all the time is that Etsy permanently removed an item for not being handmade, and the seller is not able to get their appeal heard. They never got a notification or experienced deindexing, but only find out once Etsy deactivates the listing. For example:

I get emails almost every day that read similar to this, and often even worse.

Currently it seems to take an average of about 2 weeks for an appeal to be dealt with, but some have waited as long as 2 months, and some sellers just give up. So why isn't Etsy notifying sellers, and why are so many of the supposed "human" reviews getting it wrong? (based on Etsy's claim that they only remove an item under the handmade policy once a human can evaluate the automated flag) This is not being transparent; this appears to be actual lying.

Intellectual Property Enforcement

These removals tend to take two forms: either the intellectual property rights holder files a report against a listing, or Etsy removes a listing under its automated counterfeit flags. The first type of removal was up 10% in 2023 to 1.2 million listings, and the takedowns for "potential counterfeit violations" totalled 1.45 million, up 216%. (Since the latter ones are all automated, there are likely more errors there.)

Of interest to many sellers will be the fact that Etsy actually rejects over a quarter of the infringement claims (up 54% from 2022), "indicative of our increased focus on preventing fraudulent and abusive takedown notices". That's right, the Etsy forum myth that Etsy must always obey any IP takedown claim is just that: a myth. While Etsy can't make determinations of law (e.g., whether or not something rises to level of legal infringement), they can and do reject obviously fraudulent claims such as when the email address is fake, or where key parts of the report are not filled out correctly. It's a good sign that they are taking this problem more seriously, given that false takedowns can devastate a shop's income and momentum in Etsy's various algorithms.

Also of interest: 9% of copyright claims resulted in the seller filing a counter claim.

A Few Other Highlights

Product safety: "We removed 63% more items that were subject to product recalls compared to the prior year."

Issues with orders: "Etsy made it even easier for buyers to report issues and get them resolved with Etsy Purchase Protection by proactively reaching out to buyers when we think there may have been an issue with their order. This helped more buyers easily report order issues and led to faster resolutions." [my emphasis] I was hoping that those emails asking if your untracked order arrived yet were about developing a way for customers to confirm untracked/hand-delivered orders for Star Seller status, but it looks like I was wrong, sadly. Guess we are still waiting for the in-person delivery solution that Etsy promised nearly 3 years ago. I'm not sure what other reasons Etsy might have for suspecting "an issue" with an order, but that possibility does worry me. Also, 1 out of 200 orders involves a case from the buyer, and cases are now solved in an average of 2 hours, down from 14 hours in 2022. [That's because they are almost all automated now, of course.]

You might be surprised to learn that Etsy will "freeze or divert funds from a member’s payment account to comply with a legal obligation, such as those relating to liens, levies, or garnishments."

Plans for the Future

Some of this section of the report has already happened, such as updates to certain policies (e.g., Hate and Violence), and the new fees and procedures for setting up a new shop.

What we haven't seen yet is "clarifying our policies to buyers and sellers on what belongs on Etsy and why, including in emerging areas such as AI-generated content." An interview already revealed that Etsy is okay with the use of AI (artificial intelligence) to create products, with CEO Josh Silverman inaccurately likening AI art to electronic dance music. Comments during the first quarter financial call this year made me wonder if Etsy is going to start setting up filters or categories of different types of listings on Etsy, somehow distinguishing handmade from designed and made with production help and from personalized. That may help on the buyer clarification end.

I do expect new statements on what can be sold on Etsy some time this year, possibly with changes to the current rules. Comments during the first quarter 2024 call roughly echo the Transparency Report wording. That will have to include changes or clarifications to the "gift baskets full of commercial items rule" that Etsy has ignored for a few years, of course - I keep expecting them to remove that rule, since they never enforce it.

Otherwise, they are going to continue to do the same stuff - more automation, more removals - with increases in certain areas.

My Final Thoughts

No doubt you are asking yourself: why does she think Etsy is now taking some of its biggest issues more seriously? To be honest, that impression is mostly not based on this year's Transparency Report, given that there are only marginal improvements in the number of items incorrectly-flagged by automated systems, and given the dishonest claims about how they handle non-handmade flags. (I did like the improvement in rejecting phony intellectual property claims, and the slow increases in removing ineligible listings.)

What actually makes me feel slightly encouraged is that Etsy is getting pressure on these issues from investors, and that means they might have to start showing some results. During the recent quarterly results call, Silverman said that sales were about half a percent lower than they would have been if they hadn't removed so many shops and listings. He mentioned that the analyst he was answering had previously discussed the non-handmade removals with him, and that they were important to the integrity of the site.

That surprised me, but it probably shouldn't have. Issues with non-handmade and actually dangerous or illegal items on Etsy were expertly raised by the Etsy Strike organization 2 years ago (now the Indie Sellers Guild), and have continued to ripple through media coverage of Etsy ever since. And we all know that Etsy does respond to negative coverage more than it responds to seller complaints. The company is being forced to show some results in these areas, since other people keep talking about them.

The fact that these results are not yet enough, and are probably coming too late to really save Etsy's reputation as a trustworthy shopping destination, should surprise no one. The site makes too much money on cheese gift baskets not made by the seller and on repackaged dollar store goods to throw it all away at once, and hiring humans to police the site would cut into profit even more. Etsy clearly can't "keep commerce human" by throwing more AI at the mess - we see that isn't helping much so far, even if they won't admit it - and leadership seems bereft of other solutions.

I look forward to seeing what "clarifying our policies" will bring, though. Might be interesting!

#etsy #cindylouwho2 #etsynews #ecommerce #Etsy Transparency Report

2 notes · View notes

akhuna01 · 1 year ago

Note

36, 52 &63 (for the 70qs ask).

Thank you for the ask! It's a very welcome distraction ❤️

36: Do you give second chances too easily?

Quite the contrary, actually. I get attached quickly, but once my trust is broken, you probably won't convince me to ever trust you again. It unfortunately happened a few times in my past - i can be gullible and a push-over who can't say no, and I've been exploited for it. That made me distrustful and not likely to forgive.

52: do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Listen, I've experienced domestic violence, divorce, being cheated on, depression, loss of lived ones and cancer (twice!) . I HAVE to believe that there's a reason behind it all, or I don't know if I'd manage to get through it all. I am christian, but tbh, I don't believe that there's one entity deciding over us all. Idk what I believe in, but I think that maybe I'll be an important NPC in somebody's hero story at some point. Or maybe digging up my remains will tell archaeologists in hundreds of years something important. Maybe that would be enough to make it all worth it.

63: would you change your name?

I feel indifferent about my name. I kept my ex's last name after the divorce, mainly to avoid paperwork, lol. I like to shorten Katharina to Kathi or Kate to make it easier for my friends, and my family calls me Nina. I currently see no reason for changing it 🤷‍♀️☺️

#ask game #ask #personal #about me

2 notes · View notes

steveezekiel · 8 months ago

Text

YEARS OF FAMINE AND SURPLUS 1

"FOR everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NLT)

"History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new."

There is no permanent situation, or condition, all things are subject to change.

There are different seasons and times in life. Thus, wisdom to do things at each season and time of an individual Believer's life is important and should be asked for, or requested from God.

Pharaoh, the king of Egypt had two dreams in which what was going to happen was revealed to him.

The interpretation of the dreams according to Joseph was, there will be seven years of surplus and that of famine: 29 THE NEXT SEVEN YEARS WILL BE A PERIOD OF GREAT PROSPERITY throughout the land of Egypt. 30 BUT AFTERWARD THERE WILL BE SEVEN YEARS OF FAMINE SO GREAT THAT ALL THE PROSPERITY WILL BE FORGOTTEN IN EGYPT. FAMINE WILL DESTROY THE LAND. 31 This famine will be so severe that even the memory of the good years will be erased. 32 As for having two similar dreams, IT MEANS THAT THESE EVENTS HAVE BEEN DECREED BY GOD, AND HE WILL SOON MAKE THEM HAPPEN" (Genesis 41:29-32 NLT).

The dream was repeated twice because it was established by God, It would surely come to pass (Genesis 41:32).

There would always be a season of surplus and famine in the life of every person, or family, or nation.

It is what the person or the people concerned did with the surplus that determines their state in the time of famine.

A number of people, and Nations of the world are currently experiencing a recession in their economy. People groan, and many do not know what to do. AS an individual, what did you do when you had surplus?

The advice of Joseph to Pharaoh and the whole Egyptians was: 34 THEN PHARAOH SHOULD APPOINT SUPERVISORS OVER THE LAND AND LET THEM COLLECT ONE-FIFTH OF ALL THE CROPS DURING THE SEVEN GOOD YEARS. 35 Have them gather all the food produced in the good years that are just ahead and bring it to Pharaoh’s storehouses. STORE IT AWAY, and GUARD IT SO THERE WILL BE FOOD IN THE CITIES. 36 THAT WAY THERE WILL BE ENOUGH TO EAT when the SEVEN YEARS OF FAMINE COME to the land of EGYPT. Otherwise THIS FAMINE WILL DESTROY THE LAND” (Genesis 41:31-36 NLT).

Every individual person, believer alike, experiences seasons of surplus and famine.

Every business organization experiences a fall; a setback or a hitch, at one time or the other.

There are different seasons and times in life, thus, If you know how to preserve the abundance or surplus, you would not suffer at the time of famine (Proverbs 21:20).

There is no New thing under the sun. Money had failed in Egypt before (Genesis 47:15). So, If money is failing today, It is not New.

Some because of lack of wisdom, not being prudent, could not manage their surplus well: "THE WISE HAVE WEALTH AND LUXURY, BUT FOOLS SPEND WHATEVER THEY GET" (Proverbs 21:20 NLT).

"THE WISE MAN SAVES FOR THE FUTURE, BUT THE FOOLISH MAN SPENDS WHATEVER HE GETS ." Proverbs 21:20 (the Living Bible)

"THERE IS PRECIOUS TREASURE AND OIL in the HOUSE of the WISE [who prepare for the future], BUT A SHORT-SIGHTED AND FOOLISH MAN SWALLOWS IT UP AND WASTES IT." Proverbs 21:20 (Amps.)

Thus, when you have abundance, manage it well, there are different seasons of life: "IN the blink of an eye WEALTH DISAPPEARS, FOR IT WILL SPROUT WINGS AND FLY AWAY LIKE AN EAGLE" (Proverbs 23:5 NLT).

"Will you set your eyes on that which is not? FOR RICHES CERTAINLY MAKE THEMSELVES WINGS; They FLY AWAY LIKE AN EAGLE TOWARDS HEAVEN" (Proverbs 23:5 NKJV).

Riches make themselves wings or sprout wings and fly away, according to the Scripture above, but you can cause the riches to birth for you, through investments, before they depart.

What a famine is.

A severe shortage of food, as through crop failure or overpopulation.

An acute shortage of anything.

Severe hunger, starvation; a dearth.

It is the state of needing something that is absent or unavailable.

There are numbers of things that can cause famines: I. The system of the world.

We live in a sinful world where the devil governs and roams about to do Evil; there are evil occurrences that could bring lacks or droughts, either in the life of an individual person, a family, or a nation, or whatever.

There are different seasons and times of life, and we live in a broken world; thus, an individual, Believers or nonbelievers, family, organization, or nation, can experience a famine.

II. A famine can be divinely orchestrated, to correct or speak to an individual Believer or a nation (2 Kings 8:1).

God at times permitted famines because of Sin, people's Disobedience to His Word or commands (Psalm 105:16).

God uses famines to discipline or correct an erring individual Believer or a nation at large (2 Kings 6:25).

As an individual Believer, God might allow you to experience famine or drought even in the time of abundance or at the time of surplus—If He wanted to correct you (Jeremiah 14:12).

And vice versa, God can cause you to experience surplus or abundance in the time of famines or droughts—It all depends on an individual Believer's relationship, fellowship, and his or her Obedience to God (Genesis 26:1-3,12-14).

III. Government policies.

A change in government, that is, a new era, can bring a famine or surplus.

New policies made by the New government can be the cause of a famine or surplus, or whatever.

IV. A natural phenomenon.

An unusual, significant, or unaccountable fact or occurrence in an individual life can bring a famine or surplus.

A new technology might bring surplus or famines.

V. There are other numbers of things that could bring a famine for an individual, organization, or a nation. a. Losing your belongings. Robbery as an example. b. Accident. c. New developments. d. Change in season, what is in vogue or trending. e. New government era and policies. f. Disasters: flooding, fire incident, tornado, or whatever.

There are different challenges and problems that could lead to lacking or famines in life.

Thus, God's wisdom and steadfastness in God's Word are needed to prepare for every season of life that comes in a Believer's journey on earth. IT is this that would see a Believer through in the time of famines.

You will not fail in Jesus' name.

Should there be any ailment in your body, receive your healing now in Jesus' name.

Hold of sicknesses is broken completely in Jesus' name. Peace! TO BE CONTINUED

#christianity #gospel #christian blog #faith #my writing #the bible #jesus #devotion #christian living #prayer

1 note · View note

theapprof · 8 months ago

Text

Blueprints for Learning: Justin Shaffer on Structured A&P Course Design | TAPP 148

In Episode 148, Justin Shaffer joins host Kevin Patton to discuss high structure course design. Justin shares his success in building a scaffold for learning by using a variety of course structures to improve student engagement and success, such as pre-class and post-class activities, micro-case studies and clicker questions, brief active learning practices, and much more.

★ If you cannot see or activate the audio player, go to: theAPprofessor.org/podcast-episode-148.html

🏅 Apply for your credential (badge/certificate) for listening to this episode: theAPprofessor.org/podcast-episode-148.html/#badge

⭐⭐⭐⭐ Please rate & review this podcast so that others can decide whether to give it a try: RateThisPodcast.com/theAPprofessor

❓ Please take the anonymous survey: theAPprofessor.org/survey

☝️ Questions & Feedback: 1-833-LION-DEN (1-833-546-6336)

✔️ Follow The A&P Professor on Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, Substack, Tumblr, or Instagram! @theAPprofessor

📰 Get the once-or-twice-weekly TAPP Science & Education Updates theAPprofessor.org/updates

To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time. (Leonard Bernstein)

Introducing Justin Shaffer

2 minutes

Host Kevin Patton briefly introduced our guest, Dr. Justin Shaffer. Justin is an experienced educator who provides professional development and advice on pedagogy for educators in anatomy and physiology and other disciplines. He is particularly well known for his advice on how to implement high structure course design.

★ Recombinant Education (Justin's website) recombinanteducation.com/

★ Justin Shaffer (Justin's LinkedIn profile) linkedin.com/in/justin-shaffer

★ How to Use High Structure Course Design to Heighten Learning (Justin's conversation with host Bonni Stachowiak on the Teaching in Higher Education podcast) AandP.info/xlo

★ High Structure STEM Classes (Justin's interview on the podcast, Tea for Teaching) AandP.info/75a

High Structure and Low Structure

18 minutes

Kevin Patton discusses with Justin Shaffer the concept of high-structure course design, which revolutionizes traditional teaching by providing a scaffolded learning process involving pre-class content acquisition, active in-class engagement, and post-class assessments. This method, inspired by the educational research of Scott Freeman and Mary Pat Wenderoth, has been successfully applied across multiple disciplines, demonstrating its versatility and effectiveness in improving student learning outcomes and engagement.

★ Increased structure and active learning reduce the achievement gap in introductory biology (report in Science mentioned in this segment) AandP.info/vqb

★ Getting Under the Hood: How and for Whom Does Increasing Course Structure Work? (paper in CBE-Life Sciences Education by Kelly Hogan and Sarah Eddy mentioned in this segment) AandP.info/ktl

★ Inclusive Teaching: Strategies for Promoting Equity in the College Classroom (book by Kelley Hogan and Viji Sathy mentioned in this segment) geni.us/kkB4Fn

★ True Grit: Passion and persistence make an innovative course design work (paper in PLOS Biology by Casper, Eddy, and Freeman mentioned in this segment) AandP.info/h27

★ Student performance in and perceptions of a high structure undergraduate human anatomy course (Justin's paper on high structure anatomy in ASE) AandP.info/lv1

★ High Structure Course Design for Chemical Engineering (Justin's paper on high structure chemical engineering in CEE) AandP.info/djc

★ Do I Really Have to Teach Reading? (source of the quote used in this segment, "My wish for you is that each year you look back at your career and laugh with embarrassment about the way used to teach. If you do this, you will continue to learn and grow.") geni.us/J9jdp

Badge Break

1 minute

Kevin reminds listeners that listening to this episode and reviewing the notes at this episode page can be documented with a professional development credential that can be shared in the form of a digital badge or certificate. It helps you keep track of your independent professional development activities and it provides evidence for your records or reports. Scroll down to the the link below to claim your digital credential. Or go to one of the links listed:

★ Education | Professional Development (all about TAPP digital credentials)

★ TAPP Education | Credentials | P Group (list of all the credentials related to this podcast)

Transparency, Expectations, & Flexibility

12.5 minutes

In this insightful exchange, Kevin Patton and Justin Shaffer explore the transformation of teaching strategies from low to high structure. Patton discusses the shift in student expectations due to more structured courses, and Shaffer explains how transparency and flexibility within this framework can significantly enhance student engagement and success. They discuss the importance of being adaptable while maintaining rigorous academic standards to mirror real-world responsibilities.

★ Some related resources from The A&P Professor

★ ★ The Case for Transparency | Episode 51

★ ★ Student Evaluations of Teaching II: Proactive, Active, and Reactive Strategies | TAPP 85 (discusses course debriefing sessions with feedback)

★ ★ Should We Extend Deadlines? | Models & Color Codes | TAPP 112

★ ★ The Inclusive Anatomy & Physiology Course | Part 2 | 8 More Tips to Include All | TAPP 109

★ ★ More Quizzing About Kevin's Wacky Testing Scheme | Book Club | TAPP 100

★ ★ 49 Tricks for Retention & Success in Online Courses | Episode 21

★ ★ 49 MORE Tricks for Retention & Success in Online Courses | Episode 22

★ ★ EVEN MORE Tricks for Retention & Success in Online Courses | Episode 23

★ ★ Ungrading With Standards-Based Grading | A Chat With Staci Johnson | TAPP 106

★ ★ Taking Bold Steps in Teaching | Notetaking | Science Updates | TAPP 90

★ State of Student Success and Engagement in Higher Education (recent report from Instructure) AandP.info/ir9

Secret Code: TAA Conference in Nashville

2 minutes

We take a brief pause to talk about the Textbook & Academic Authors Association (TAA) in which many A&P professors find helpful support and benefits. TAA meets the needs of those interested in creating textbooks, lab manuals, workbooks, and other learning resources, as well as those who focus on academic writing, such as journal articles, dissertations/theses, monographs, and scholarly or other nonfiction works.

Kevin explains that he has a secret code for a significant discount on the upcoming TAA Annual Conference. Contact him at [email protected] or the podcast hotline at 1.833.546.6336

★ TAA Annual Conference (Nashville TN, June 21-22—contact Kevin for the secret discount code) 2024taaconference.org/

Baby Steps or Go All In?

14 minutes

In this segment, we discuss the dilemma of adopting high-structure teaching methods with Justin Shaffer, focusing on the balance between workload and effectiveness. Shaffer recommends a phased approach to implementing new strategies in an established course, starting small and evaluating the impact before adding more elements. This method allows educators to manage their workload while still experimenting with innovative teaching practices that can significantly enhance student learning experiences and outcomes. For new courses, Justin suggests going all-in from the start, noting that while the initial setup may be labor-intensive, the long-term gains in student performance and instructional efficiency can justify the effort.

★ Recombinant Education (Justin's website with a lot of resources related to high structure teaching) recombinanteducation.com/

★ Improving Exam Performance in Introductory Biology through the Use of Preclass Reading Guides (Justin's paper on Reading Guides in CBE-Life Sciences) AandP.info/clu

★ Teaching and Learning STEM: A Practical Guide (book by Rich Felder and Rebecca Brent, both mentioned in this segment) geni.us/jP9tT

People

Production: Aileen Park (announcer), Andrés Rodriguez (theme composer, recording artist), Karen Turner (Executive Editor), Kevin Patton (writer, editor, producer, host).

Not People

Robotic (AI) audio leveling/processing and transcription is done by Auphonic.com and the content, spelling, grammar, style, etc., of these episode notes are assisted by various bots, such as ChatGPT, Grammarly, and QuillBot.

If the hyperlinks here are not active, go to TAPPradio.org to find the episode page.

★ More details at the episode page: theAPprofessor.org/podcast-episode-148.html

★ Transcript available in the transcript box: theAPprofessor.org/podcast-episode-148.html

★ Need help accessing resources locked behind a paywall? Check out this advice from Episode 32 to get what you need! my-ap.us/paywall

Take The A&P Professor experience to the next level!

★ theAPprofessor.org/community

Earn cash by referring other A&P faculty to this podcast:

★ theAPprofessor.org/refer

Tools & Resources

★ TAPP Science & Education Updates: theAPprofessor.org/updates

Follow The A&P Professor on Twitter, Facebook, Mastodon, Reddit, TikTok,LinkedIn, Blogger, Substack, Tumblr, or Instagram @theAPprofessor

The A&P Professor�� and Lion Den® are registered trademarks of Lion Den Inc. (Kevin Patton)

Check out notes and transcript for this episode!

#podcast

0 notes

baoshan-sanren · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 37

of the wwx emperor au I’m thinking of calling Fuck the Canon: Happy Endings For Everyone

There is no tea.

Not only is there no tea, but the Emperor’s small private study, located just beyond his personal chambers, is distinctly lacking in any accommodations necessary to serve or consume tea.

Ordinarily, WangJi would find himself irritated, even by such a harmless deception. After five days spent in the Immortal Mountain, however, he finds that he has become more patient. Perhaps not with others, but certainly with the Emperor, whose careless attitude and playful nature seem to conceal a much more complex character, one that WangJi has grown to respect.

The Lan Sect does not listen to gossip, but their new lodgings in the Jade Sword Palace make gossip impossible to avoid. Wei WuXian had lingered by WangJi’s side long past midnight, sunrise only hours away by the time they had finally parted. Yet, great many things seem to have happened since then, each one significant enough to shake the Immortal Mountain to its roots.

Before noontime tea, the Young Master of the Jin Sect had seen his betrothal annulled, the Jiang Sect had fallen out of favor, Sect Leader Nie had been given a title, and the Council seems to hover on the verge of being dissolved.

WangJi cannot begin to guess what all of these events mean, separate or together, but he knows that Wei WuXian could not have possibly had a sufficient amount of sleep. He also knows that the world of court schemes and maneuverings, as distasteful as he finds it to be, is an inevitable reality of Wei WuXian’s existence. A part of him is even slightly curious, tentatively attempting to forge a connection between these seemingly unconnected events. Another part of him feels pity, that Wei WuXian cannot begin his day without some sort of upheaval.

Even now, standing by the desk, wrapped in the heavy, intricate layers of the Imperial dragon robes, the Emperor is all exhaustion and tension. Less than a dozen hours have passed since they had seen each other last; WangJi had spent those hours in the peace and silence of the Imperial guest chambers. Wei WuXian looks as if he had spent them on the battleground, fighting for his life.

Still, when he sees WangJi, his face tranforms.

“Lan Zhan.”

WangJi nods in response. He is not sure when he had become fond of the way Wei WuXian says his name, but he can no longer deny the inevitable elation following on its heels. Each time, his name comes with an accompanying smile, and each time, that smile is for him alone.

“I hope you were not expecting tea,” Wei WuXian says ruefully.

WangJi does not dignify that with a response. One must adjust their expectations when faced with an Emperor who runs barefoot over the rooftops, and becomes unreasonably excited over rabbits.

“Uh, right,” Wei WuXian says, “there is something I need you to see.”

The bookcase behind the desk is filled to bursting. Perhaps, if it were only used to hold books, there would be plenty of space, and little to no chaos. But Wei WuXian seems to have filled the shelves with anything that could fit, and many things that could not, creating a precarious mess of objects that could topple at the smallest disturbance. There are numerous jade figurines of all sizes, small pots, boxes and ink stones, a few odd shapes that resemble children’s toys, books and scrolls crammed in between the objects, all with no sense or order.

It is a surprise when Wei WuXian manages to pull out three books and a flat box hiding behind them, without knocking anything to the ground. WangJi realizes that he has shifted to stand on his toes, fully expecting to have to provide assistance, or perhaps even protection from any wayward object that may come flying off the shelf to cause potential injury. No such thing occurs, however, and he places his heels back down, feeling silly for his overabundance of caution.

The flat box looks plain and light. Inside, it holds a single piece of paper, although it is immediately obvious that the paper is an Imperial Order, the Emperor’s stamp bright and bold, and difficult to miss.

WangJi does not expect Wei WuXian to simply offer the paper for perusal, without ceremony, and without any hint as to what the Order holds.

He is even more confused once he realizes that the paper is actually a declaration of succession. In the event of Wei WuXian’s death, the throne is to pass to--

He blinks. The Imperial Order is not long, for there is not much to the actual succession except naming the heir. Still, WangJi reads it again, just to be certain that he has not read the name in error.

He has not.

Well.

While he is reading, Wei WuXian is fidgeting. The dragon robes are not designed for such impatient movement, and WangJi resists the urge to grab him by the shoulders, and tell him to stop plucking at the golden thread on his sleeves. The robe probably costs more than thirty villages are capable of producing in a year.

He offers the paper back.

“I do not understand.”

“Which part?” Wei WuXian says slowly, and WangJi blinks at him.

Is there more than one part to the succession? No, he has read it twice.

“I do not understand why I need to know this,” WangJi clarifies.

“Oh,” Wei WuXian says, smiling again, but it is a nervous smile, as jittery as his hands, “This-- it is important. The-- line of succession. The person I intend to marry should know that the heir has already been chosen.”

WangJi narrows his eyes. He feels as if he had missed a part of their conversation.

His mind inevitably turns to the rumors that had flown rampant in the palace that same morning; the new title granted to the Nie Sect Leader, the dissolution of the Young Master Jin’s betrothal, and the possible dissolution of the Council.

Does-- Wei WuXian mean to marry Jin ZiXuan? It is a preposterous idea. Absolutely ridiculous.

But even so, WangJi suddenly finds that Jin ZiXuan cannot be allowed to live. WangJi will challenge him to a fight, then remove each and every one of his limbs, starting with his head. This should not be difficult to accomplish.

“You are angry,” Wei WuXian says, “I should have-- perhaps I should not have begun with the line of succession. I am not good at--“ he waves his hand, as if the motion is somehow supposed to make his words less incoherent.

He looks agitated and unhappy, and WangJi wants to help, but he is not sure how.

“You want to marry,” he says, trying to establish some logical narrative.

“Yes,” Wei WuXian says, “I want to marry. And before you disagree, I am aware that five days is an extremely limited amount of time to truly get to know another person. I have already gotten a lecture about this from A-Sang. And I have already gotten a lecture from your uncle, who can be extremely rude while remaining polite, a skill I admire, but do not want to confront again. Not if I can help it. And I-- I know life in the Immortal Mountain is probably not what you had in mind if-- if you had marriage in mind. Before today. But I think-- if you are willing to give it a chance, I could make you happy. I would like to try. To make you happy.”

There is a lag in WangJi’s understanding, as each sentence needs to be rearranged in his own mind, just so he can comprehend its meaning. Still, even with the lag, it takes him an abominably long time to fully grasp what Wei WuXian is saying.

Once he does, he finds himself shocked into stillness.

“Are you--“ Wei WuXian looks as if he means to move closer, than stops himself at the last moment, “You look-- more angry now. Than before. I understand that this is not an ideal proposal, what with the-- lack of gifts and ceremony and everything else, but--“

He sighs, apparently forgetting that his hair is neatly arranged, because his fingers make a mess of it in moments.

“An offer of marriage should not make you angry, Lan Zhan. I thought we-- does the idea of it bother you that much?”

WangJi needs to speak. Wei WuXian is capable of drawing thousands of incorrect conclusions before WangJi can formulate a single sentence, and WangJi needs to prevent this from happening, as soon as possible. But what is he supposed to say?

Clarify. This is always a good strategy, especially with Wei WuXian.

“Are you asking me to marry you?” WangJi says carefully, fully expecting Wei WuXian to laugh and deny it.

He believes that he had made his peace with the fact that the Emperor really likes him, whatever that means, when coming from a Divine Ruler. But marriage is-- something else entirely.

Even saying it out loud sounds ridiculous.

“Yes!” Wei WuXian exclaims, “Yes, I am asking you to marry me.”

“Why?” WangJi blurts out, incredulous.

“Why?” Wei WuXian repeats, the dumfounded expression on his face a perfect reflection of WangJi’s own feelings, “wh-- what do you mean, why? Because I fell in love with you. Why else would I marry someone?”

“You--“ WangJi’s throat is completely dry, and seems to have shrank into nothingness.

It is difficult to breathe, let alone form words.

This is utterly ridiculous. The most ridiculous thing WangJi has even heard, seen, or experienced, in his entire life.

And yet, he wants to hear it again. He wants Wei WuXian to say it again. The rush he had felt at those words cannot be described. It is obliterating.

Wei WuXian inches closer, his posture careful, “I still cannot tell when you are just angry, or so furious that you might try and kill me, so-- do not try and kill me? I should have probably led with the declaration of love, huh? I can try again. Lan Zhan, I am in love with you. I would really like it if you would marry me, and become the Emperor Consort. Your uncle has already given permission, and the Council is about to do so as well, or Empire will no longer have a Council. The throne already has an heir, so the succession is nothing to worry about. And since I cannot imagine sharing my life with anyone else, I can swear to take no other spouse, as long as we are both alive in the world. Is that better? Did--“

WangJi does not plan to move.

He does not plan anything. The chaos of thoughts and emotions rushing through his mind can hardly be called thinking, let alone planning. Therefore, he is astonished to find himself acting so brashly. But Wei WuXian does not waste a single moment with something so banal as surprise.

His arms immediately wrap around WangJi’s shoulders, as if they belong there. There is a faint, lingering taste of pears and honey on his lips. His mouth is soft, his breaths hot and fast, his heartbeat a forceful thunder against WangJi’s chest. The exquisite texture of the Imperial dragon robe under his hands has nothing on the actual shape of Wei WuXian’s waist. WangJi can feel the ridges of his spine through the material, enticing but also fragile, and raked with barely perceptible tremors.

Wei WuXian smiles against his mouth, then laughs, his lips pressing a quick kiss to the tip of WangJi’s nose.

“Is that a yes?” he says, “Please tell me that means yes.”

WangJi is not yet capable of forming words. An extremely advantageous hindrance, because he cannot simply accept an offer of marriage, regardless of his feelings.

The bright smile on Wei WuXian’s face begins to fade, and WangJi feels panic, that he cannot explain himself quickly and succinctly, the way the situation demands.

“Lan Zhan?”

“I cannot accept,” WangJi says.

Wei WuXian blinks at him, then shifts slightly, as if to pull away. WangJi refuses to release him, his arms wrapping more securely around the silk-clad waist, fingers clutching handfuls of delicate material.

Perhaps he does so with more strength and urgency than necessary, because Wei WuXian stumbles, catching himself against WangJi’s chest.

“I want to accept,” he clarifies, “but I cannot. I must speak to uncle first.”

“Oh,” Wei WuXian says, “That-- but he-- I have already spoken to your uncle.”

“You have spoken to many people,” WangJi points out, “Everyone whose opinion you care to hear. Other than myself.”

Wei WuXian huffs, his restless fingers now plucking at the thread of WangJi’s robes instead of his own. WangJi would grab his hands to prevent it, but this would mean releasing his hold, and he does not think he is capable of doing so, at least not yet.

“I should be allowed to do the same,” WangJi says, “You must give me time.”

Wei WuXian’s fingers have now found their way to the collar of WangJi’s robes, and the brush of them against the skin of his neck is extremely distracting. The logical part of his brain insists that this is an inappropriate way to have a serious conversation. A marriage, especially one that would make him the Emperor Consort to the Divine Ruler of the Shan Empire is perhaps the most serious conversation that can possibly be conceived.

But Wei WuXian’s hair smells like pears, sweet and heavy, and he keeps biting his already reddened lip. The other part of WangJi’s brain, the one that does not care for logic or propriety, insists that he should stop speaking and kiss him again, regardless of the seriousness of the conversation.

Lan Zhan, I am in love with you.

His arms tighten of their own volition, and Wei WuXian huffs out a laugh. It is a small laugh however, and there is and nervous edge to it, carrying over into his voice.

“How much time? Because-- what if-- what if you think about it, and then-- decide that you do not want to marry me?”

“Then, I suppose you will have to marry Nie HuaiSang,” WangJi deadpans.

Wei WuXian splutters for a few moments, the expression on his face rapidly shifting from shock to displeasure to pure exasperation. Considering how many times Wei WuXian has managed to exasperate him in turn, WangJi does not feel bad.

“Do not joke,” Wei WuXian says, “I am serious. Your uncle had given permission, but he does not like me, and he will tell you all the reasons why marrying me is a terrible--“

“Wei Ying,” WangJi says, effectively cutting off the flow of words, “I want to marry you. I will not change my mind. But you must give me time.”

He is utterly unprepared for Wei WuXian’s bright smile, the warm glow of delight that washes over his face, the tiny crinkles in the corners of his eyes. He is even less prepared to be kissed again, but he is more than willing, Wei WuXian’s mouth eagerly searching for his own.

They should have spent the past five days kissing. Any moment that WangJi had not been kissing Wei WuXian now feels an unacceptable waste of time, one he has every intention to remedy. Although Wei WuXian seems as invested in this plan as he is, he cannot seem to help smiling into the kiss, his lips often darting to press to WangJi’s cheek, his chin, the side of his nose. It is sweet and silly, his restless excitement, and WangJi is now certain that Wei WuXian had been right.

He will be more than capable of making WangJi happy.

355 notes · View notes

figula · 2 years ago

Text

today -

it had been a whie since me and ben had sex bc of illness / crazy, but he fucked me twice tonight + i feel immediately like 10x more chill lol thank u darling x you know it’s been good when you end up with a dry mouth

the weather is now saying it’s gonna be 39 degrees here on monday so my plan is to work over the weekend + sell some stock wigs so i can do fuck all on mon/tue. im also planning on just saying “fuck it” to normal bedtimes + sleeping during the day for the next few days bc my room is so unbelievably hot at night (humid attic room) that i think it will probably do me more harm to actually try and sleep in that swamp lmao :| particularly bc i am one of those people who cant sleep unless there is a heavy blanket on top of me 2 keep out the evil. (yes i have been sleeping w/ a duvet throughout the 30+ degree temperatures without aircon, yes on several occasions i have woken up feeling very very like im about to die lol) i was alarmed enough when they said it would be 36!! 39 is the hottest temp ive EVER experienced i think. the highest i remember is 35 a few years ago and that was awful so im feeling morbidly curious to see how bad this is

i found a new band i like the sound of (hailaker) - very bon iver-ish but that’s not inherently a problem for me bc i love bon iver. very like... 2011 bon iver rather than recent. (i do kind of wish bon iver knock-offs like novo amor et al would make their influences slightly less obvious, but)

1 note · View note

introvertguide · 4 years ago

Text

The Graduate (1967); AFI #17

The current film under review is the classic comedy, The Graduate (1967). This moving is one of most well known and referenced films that I know of in American film. It was the last film to win only Best Director while also being nominated for other categories. This makes sense because the acting was good with many newcomers and character actors of the time, but there was some stiff competition at the Oscars that year. Director Mike Nichols did an exceptional job telling a story within a story utilizing symbols and camera movement to let the viewing audience know what the characters were thinking. Show not tell, which is perfect for this sort of media. Let’s go through a summary of the story before looking at any more of the technical or behind-the-scenes notes. This, of course, is always kicked off with...

SPOILER WARNING!!! I AM ABOUT TO GIVE AWAY THE ENTIRE PLOT!!! THERE IS A LOT MORE TO THE STORY OF THIS MOVIE THAN JUST THE PLOT, BUT IT IS STILL GOOD TO WATCH THE WHOLE THING THROUGH BEFORE DISCUSSING IT!!! IF YOU DON’T WANT IT SPOILED, STOP NOW AND WATCH THE MOVIE THEN COME BACK AND CHECK OUT THE REST OF THE ARTICLE

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) is a 20-year-old man who just recently graduated from an East Coast college and has returned to Pasadena, California to stay with his parents and figure out what to do with his life. He is embarrassed by his doting parents at every turn when they invite all the family friends to come see him. The wife of his father’s business partner is Mrs. Robinson (Anne Bancroft), a middle aged women who seems unhappy with her marriage and convinces Ben to drive her home where she tries to seduce him. He runs away but later calls her and meets her over at the Taft Hotel and starts up an affair.

Benjamin spends the summer relaxing by the pool and going off on trysts with Mrs. Robinson at the hotel. During one night at the Taft, Mrs. Robinson reveals that she only married her husband because she was pregnant. Ben knows her daughter, Elaine (Katherine Ross), and jokes that he should date her. Mrs. Robinson is not happy with this and forbids him from seeing her daughter. Unfortunately, Ben’s parents think it would be a great match and set up a date between the kids.

Ben tries to sabotage the date in the most cringe-worthy way. He ignores Elaine and drives like a crazy man. He takes her to a strip club and sits her right next to the stage. It is so bad that Elaine runs away crying and Ben feels remorse. He actually likes Elaine and they go and have burgers at a drive-thru. They want to have a late night drink and the only place close that is open is the Taft Hotel. They go in and everyone there recognizes Ben which makes Elaine believe he has been seeing an older women. Ben says it is true and the affair is over, so the two plan another date the following day.

Mrs. Robinson threatens to tell Elaine when Ben shows up at the house to pick her up, so Ben tells Elaine first to ruin any blackmail. This upsets Elaine and she returns to Berkeley to go back to school and avoid seeing Ben.

Ben decides to move to Berkeley in hopes of getting back with Elaine and takes up residence in an all male dorm house. Ben finally runs into Elaine and she says her mom told her that Ben had gotten her drunk and raped her. (Wow. Keep this in mind because I will bring this up again in the conversation section.) Ben explains to Elaine and she forgives him. They hang out and Ben asks her to marry him, but she apparently has promised to marry some other guy named Carl Smith. Unfortunately, Elaine’s father shows up at Ben’s apartment to tell him that he is getting a divorce from Mrs. Robinson and forcing his daughter to marry Carl Smith. He makes a major ruckus and Ben is thrown out by the dorm manager.

Ben goes back to Pasadena and breaks into the Robinson house in search of Elaine but only finds Mrs. Robinson. She calls the police claiming there is a burglar. As Ben escapes, she says that he can’t stop the marriage between Elaine and Carl. He drives back to Berkeley and finds out were the wedding will take place (Santa Barbara) and rushes to the church. He can’t get in the front door so he runs up to the organ room upstairs and bangs on a glass barrier that looks down on the ceremony. He shouts out for Elaine and she eventually yells back in front of all the guests. She runs out and meets Ben, who pins the door closed with a large cross.

Elaine and Benjamin elope by jumping aboard a bus and sit among startled passengers. Their ecstatic expressions change to looks of uncertainty as the bus drives away.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have a list of questions that people have asked me when I told them I was doing an analysis of The Graduate, so this will act kind of like a FAQ sheet for the film and hopefully answer some questions:

Dustin Hoffman doesn’t look like he just graduated from college in the movie. How old was he?

Lot of questions about the age of the actors. At the time the movie came out, Katherine Ross played Elaine the college student at 27 years old, Dustin Hoffman played the recent graduate Benjamin at age 30, and Anne Bancroft played the part of middle aged Mrs. Robinson at age 36. It kind of made sense about Dustin Hoffman because he is a very small man with great hair and can look the part of somebody much younger. Katherine Ross lied about her age for years so directors thought she was 3 or 4 years younger than she really was. Anne Bancroft is the one that stands out the most because they put in a couple of grey streaks in her hair and added some crows feet around her eyes and called her 10-15 years older. I think Director Mike Nichols knew this so Elaine and her mother have almost no screen time together.

Didn’t that movie win an Oscar for the music?

It did not. In fact, the song that the film is known for, “Mrs. Robinson,” was not played beyond instrumental snippets. The film was not even nominated for anything music related.

I think I have seen the movie before because it feels familiar.

The film is set in California and has some of the most well known scenes in American cinema. The initial seduction scene between Mrs. Robinson and Ben captured the hopes of college boys everywhere. The idea of finding a beautiful and experienced woman that aggressively makes all the first moves is the dream of many a man. The famous scene right after Mrs. Robinson reveals she married because she was pregnant and didn’t love her husband shows Ben about to leave and framed by the leg of Mrs. Robinson putting on a stocking. I have never seen wrongful lust depicted any better and it really sticks with you. The final scene in the movie in which Ben stops the wedding and runs away with the bride has been used in many movies and TV shows and really displays Hoffman’s acting because we slowly realize that the new couple has no idea what to do next. I only remember one other non-speaking acting performance were a realization is revealed purely through a slow facial close-up, and that was from Jack Nicholson in One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

I remember there was some kind of accusation of rape that is never resolved. Did that really happen?

Yup. It did. I never realized how awkward a brush over this was until I specifically looked for it. Mrs. Robinson told her daughter that Ben raped her and Elaine still talks to him instead of calling the police. A rape allegation is not a light thing and there would not be pleasantries at the zoo if this was the case. Why would a girl who believes she is talking to a man that raped her mother and was now stalking her college aged daughter do anything but get the police involved? Elaine actually entertains the thought of marrying the guy. She thought Ben raped her mother and Ben says that the mother seduced and slept with him. She is apparently OK with this. I wouldn’t be.

Do they actually show Mrs. Robinson naked?

This was asked more than the age question. The answer is “yes, sort of.” There is a very brief shot of Anne Bancroft’s bare chest for two or three frames. If you consider that movies are generally filmed at 24 frames per second, this is very brief. I can’t imagine how many desperate people were quick on the pause button when the movie came out on video.

Did they use this movie for a Simpson’s episode?

Not just one. The famous shot with a leg in the foreground was in the episode “Homer of Seville” and “Beware My Cheating Bart” while the famous “Mrs. Robinson, you are trying to seduce me” line from the same scene was used in the episode “Lisa’s Substitute.” An homage to the end of the movie was used twice for Grandpa Simpson in the episodes “The Last Temptation of Homer” and “Lady Bouvier’s Lover.”

So now to the questions I answer for every movie on the AFI top 100. Does this movie belong on the list? Of course. It is a well directed movie full of symbolism. It is the first major role for Dustin Hoffman (one of America’s most well known movie stars). It is engrained in American vernacular: I knew that “she went all Mrs. Robinson” referred to an older woman seducing a younger man years before I ever saw the movie. Mrs. Robinson is a classic villain and that character alone deserves a spot on the top 100. Would I recommend it? Sure would. It is a little cringy at times for me, but it is legitimately funny. There are a couple of topics that are sometimes weird and sometimes uncomfortable, but the direction is good enough to move quickly through these parts to suspend disbelief. Check out the movie and check out the soundtrack because both are great, widely available, and great pieces of classic Americana.

#the graduate #mrs. robinson #dustin hoffman #katherine ross #anne bancroft #simon and garfunkel #great movies #1960s #classic american films #introvert #introverts #california

10 notes · View notes

theguardiangabriel · 4 years ago

Text

Brightwood Challenge 02

1: How high is your libido? When I have someone in my life, it is generally higher.

2: Rough sex or soft sex? I like an emotional connection, so more soft over rough sex.

3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? No. I don’t think so.

4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? Uh???

5: Favourite sex position? The table top or some way like that.

6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? I’m probably more submissive.

7: Have you ever had any one night stands? No. I’m pansexual, so that’s not really on my radar.

8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? Bed or couch.

9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? No, but I wouldn’t say no necessarily.

10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? No, I don’t think so.

11: What does your favorite sexy underwear look like? I... ah... black boxer briefs?

12: How often do you have sex? Not that often usually.

13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? Yeah, probably.

14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? Both are good.

15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? I can’t think of anything.

16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? Fallin’ (Adrenaline)- Why Don’t We

17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? Holy - Justin Bieber ft. Chance the Rapper.

18: Are you into dressing up for sex? Sure.

19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? Bath.

20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? Ahhhh... I don’t know. It would have to be someone I know and have a connection with. Not sure I really have that kind of connection with anyone at the moment.

21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? No. If the connections were there, sure.

22: Do you/would you use sex toys? Yes, and yes.

23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? No.

24: Would you have sex with your best friend? This has happened to me and my best friend since we attracted to each other that way and had that connection I need.

25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)? Snuggle and sleep.

26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? Connecting with me. Making me feel like you really know me, really care about me.

27: Early morning sex or late night sex? Late at night. Darkness and shadows.

28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? Hips.

29: Favourite body part on the same sex? Shoulders.

30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find? I don’t think I have anything hidden in my room.

31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you? I can’t think of anything.

32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] No. I guess?

33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom? If you’re still being safe, have considered all outcomes and both partners agree on it, sure, why not?

34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience? Ice cream.

35: Worst possible time to get horny? Around other people I guess?

36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? Yes, definitely.

37: What is the most amount of times you’ve ever orgasmed in a day? Like twice? But that was because there was a lot, a lot, of teasing and edging.

38: Best sexual complement you ever got: I don’t think I have.

39: Favorite foreplay activities: Kissing, teasing, flirting, touching.

40: What do you wear to bed? Boxers and sometimes a shirt.

41: What is your biggest turn off? A big age gap.

42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? Pictures, yes. That is my thing.

43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? No. But I’d consider it.

44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? No, but I think I might like it. Especially if it would please my partner.

45: Have/would you ever had a threesome? No, but maybe if I was connected to both partners.

46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? Um I don’t know?

47: What is your favorite type of porn? Nothing too graphic.

48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not) Yes. It’s good foreplay.

49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? Absolutely. I’d want to photograph them all.

50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? That can be a big deal.

51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? Anything spicey.

52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? Neither.

53: Do you watch porn? Sometimes.

54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? No, not that I know.

55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? Yeah.

56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? I don’t think I do.

57: If you could give yourself head, would you? Interesting thought. Am I that flexible? Or are there multiple me’s?

58: Booty or Boobs? Both.

59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) No. I couldn’t.

60: What is your dirtiest sexual fantasy? Being comfortable enough with someone to let them just... use me.

61: have you ever watched someone masturbate? Yes.

62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate? Yes.

63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? Yes, I think. But they were kind enough not to make a big deal about it.

64. What is your method of masturbation? Usually just my hand. I’m a simple guy.

65. What is your bra/penis size? Hopefully the nicer side of average.

66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? What? No.

67. When was the last time you masturbated? This morning.

68. When was the last time you had sex? Uh, what year is it again?!?! LOL

69. When was the last time you watched porn? NYE.

70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? Yes. Plugs were most recent, a dildo was first.

71. Circumcised? Yes.

72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? My hands.

73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? My butt.

74. Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? No, but any kind of touch is usually helpful.

75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone? Yes.

76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? Don’t remember.

77. Which wet dream was your favorite? It’s been too long.

78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? Probably.

79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? Probably not.

80. Least favorite sexual position? Doggie, or spoon.

81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? Not really.

82. Are you into any BDSM? A little, yes, I think.

83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? Yes. Despite what felt like a connection on my part, they weren’t exactly available to me.

84. Do you like dirty talk? Yes.

85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? Quiet.

86. Have you ever been interrupted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? No. Call me lucky.

87. What kind of porn do you like to watch? I don’t really enjoy it all that much. Although I once stumbled across one once, with a girl that reminded me of a girl I was kind of developing a thing for, and it was... interesting.

88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? No. Should I?

89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them? Yes.

90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? No.

91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? No, not really.

92. Any kinks you’ve always wanted to try but haven’t? There are some yes. I’m not the most experienced, but that’s okay.

93. How should someone who is interested in sleeping with you approach the topic? Let me know you’re interested and try to get to know me, not just to sleep with me.

94. What are your absolute no-nos in bed? Degrading talk and bathroom kinks.

95. How do you feel about quickies? Sure.

96. Have you ever tried roleplay in bed? Would you? No, and yes.

97. Describe the best orgasm you’ve ever had. What were you doing? Alone or with someone else? What made it so good? Alone. I knew just what to do to keep bringing myself just to the brink over and over and over again, while I thought about someone I was interested in, imagining it was them who was keeping me on edge. Praising me for how well I was doing. And promising me an amazing orgasm.

98. Have you ever filmed yourself while masturbating or having sex? No.

99. Lights on or lights off? Either.

100. What would you like to do more of in bed? Get more experience before I stumble upon my bond. I don’t want to be a complete mess when that happens.

#brightwood challenge 02 #gabrielinspo

1 note · View note

randomisemily · 4 years ago

Text

I wanna rant about getting my driver’s license, but some people might need to know some stuff beforehand, so here you go:

- In Belgium, you have to take a written test on basic knowledge of traffic (rules & signs), passing that test allows you to request for a permit

- There are two different permits: 1) 36 months: allows you to drive, but not by yourself. 2) 18 months: allows you to drive by yourself. Though, in both cases, you have to take lessons beforehand.

-You can get your license at the age of 18

- the driver’s test includes a “risk perception” test (you have to watch a few videos and determine who’s on the road and who’s a risk etc) + also, of course, a test on the road, including a few parking skills

- Additonally, I’d like to mention that the laws concerning learning how to drive and permits etc have changed A LOT the last few years, so if sometimes my rant is confusing, IT IS FOR ME AS WELL

- Every 2 times you fail an exam, you have to take 6 hours of lessons before you are allowed to take the exam again.

ALRIGHT LETS GET STARTED

So when I was 18, I personally felt like I wasn’t ready to get my license yet. I wasn’t all that interested anyway and because I had friends who could drive, an older brother,... I was happy not driving. It didn’t bother me that much, and when Iook back at that time, I might even add that I might’ve been scared to drive.

I felt like my life wasn’t too difficult without a license, though I lived in a rural area, I had easy access to busses and, mostly, trains. I also pretty much biked everywhere, and I didn’t mind that much.

When I was 19, I started dating my fiancé, who had a license and took me everywhere. Some might think he was enabling, but in our case, I think he was just happy to do it. He was patient with me and when I was almost 21, I took the written test and passed.

See, after that, I’m fuzzy on the details because I’m 28 now. So time has PASSED. But at that time I did decide to get a 36 month license. The reason was mostly financial: for a 18 month license, you have to take more lessons, and the lessons are expensive. (to drive alone, you have to take 20 hours of lessons, which as roughly 1500 euros). BUT for the 36 month permit, it’s only required to take 6 hours, which is rougly 500 euros. Considering the fact I had to pay that myself, I felt like I couldn’t afford the extra 1000 euros. I think, the other reason was that I was scared to drive by myself - maybe even scared to drive at all.

The permit I chose, requires you to get a mentor. Usually, it’s a family member, in my case, it was my dad. I thought it would be a good choice because my dad knows how to drive a truck and has tons of experience. He’s also calm and I thought he’d be good at giving instructions.

That worked out a little different. It seemed like my dad was, like myself, a little scared to teach me. So here we were: two people who weren’t going to encourage each other to drive. The addition problem was that my dad’s working a lot, so a lot of times I was tired or he was. Yeah, it’s an excuse, and we knew it.

One time, when were finally practicing, we were on a private road nearby. We were just starting & stopping, you know, the basics. There was a guy walking his Jack Russell, but without a leash. We weren’t going fast at all, but all of the sudden, the dog ran in front of my car. The dog ran off, over a big field, as fast as it could, and eventually, it ran home. We were shocked, scared and felt bad for the dog. The dog wasn’t injured that badly, but it so happened that we also had a similar dog at the time, so we truly felt for the little scared dog. I am, ‘till this day, though, a little angry with the owner because you don’t let your dog off your leash, that’s just my opinion.

ANYHOW, after practicing a few months or something, we decided I was ready. I felt ready but both my dad and I were NERVOUS AS SHIT. The examirer was 15 minutes late, which only made it worse. My exam was a nightmare, after 5 minutes on the road, I had to go back. Out of nervousness, I didn’t see an old lady crossing the road. It was a disaster and the memory is still vivid.

A second attempt came around the corner, and this time, I really thought I was ready. It was closer to the time the permit was going to expire, so I really hoped it would work out this time. Failed. This time, I didn’t use my breaks properly. Apparently, my dad had been teaching me wrong and I didn’t remember from the lessons I took.

I can’t remember anymore why I failed the third time, but I did. And this time, my permit really was about to expire. After failing this time, I had no choice but to let it expire.

This SUCKED because, as you might do the math, I was already 25 by then. And by the time I was 25, I did in fact, really need a car and a license. I had just graduated college and I needed a job. Schools in general are usually easily accessible by train, so was mine. Jobs, however, are not. For my internship in my last year of college, for example, I had to bike to the train station, take a train, tranfer to another train, take a bus and then bike again. The internship was great, getting there, however, was a nightmare.

It also sucked because at the time, there was a rule in place, that dictated that if your permit expires, you can’t request a new one. There was a “waiting period” of 3 years. Yes, three YEARS. There are some exceptions because I can still, possibly, get your license during that time if you re-take your written test and take your driving exam with a professional driving school (the one you use to take lessons). This is, in fact, what I tried to do. The tricky part is that, when you’re not on the road during your “normal” life (work, groceries,...) it’s harder to get back on the horse. It was for me, anyway. I tried to the the exam that way twice. I failed twice. After the second time, I still had a year left in that “waiting period”, so I figured I wouldn’t try anymore and just wait it out. During those three years, I got a job nearby where I could bike to. It was alright.

After the three years, and 5 exams later, I was fed up and I wanted to pass more than ever. But I knew I needed to do better this time. I took the 20 hours (yes, the lessons kept pilling up and so were the bills) so that I could drive alone and get the 18 month permit. By that time, I was also working full time and had moved out and moved in with my fiancé. So I was READY to be an adult and driving alone also meant that freedom I desperately wanted.

My reasoning was also the fact that I felt like I didn’t have enough real life experience driving a car before. I didn’t need to do groceries, I was still living at home at the time and, as I mentioned, was always practicing with my dad. This time, not only did I want to drive alone, I needed to.

A few months before the 18 months ended, I wanted to take the test again. Six times a charm, I thought. This time, my “mentor” wasn’t my dad anymore, it was my fiancé. Mind you, my fiance, lovely as he is, is neurotic and full of anxiety (bless his heart). Yet again, I was confronted by my nerves, and his. And failed the test because of my parking skills (or lack of). Actually, I was too nervous and had a minor anxiety attack while parking.

The next time, I tried to get back on the horse almost right away and tried to take an exam with, not my boyfriend, but a professional driving instructor (€€€€€€). The seventh time almost worked out. I ALMOST passed, until the last few minutes I made a mistake at a crossroads. I mean, fuck.

For the eight time, I realized I needed to do the same so I scheduled the exam for March this year. Then, of course, a pandemic came knocking on the door. The exam was cancelled and I felt major relief - though, I did need to pass and I knew it.

After everything re-opened in May, I sort of procrastinated making an appointment again. I just, I couldn’t. I knew I had to, but I had failed this test 7 times. A driving test. Thinking about it, I mean, I have a bachelors degree. I had good job. I’m engaged. But I didn’t have a driver’s license. And no, I’m not a New Yorker.

But luckily, when I procastinate, my body doesn’t agree and protests. I was watching a Modern Family episode one night where Haley struggled to get her license and I felt her pain so much. My heart was racing. I got nervous and flustered. And this continued. I was watching anyone driving on tv and I continued having tiny panic attacks. Talk about triggers: people driving.

Anyway, I finally managed to call to make the apointment (took a lot of energy). I, again, made an appointment with a professional instructor. Though it was more expensive, it was the best approach. My car is old and driving my car to the exam would also mean I’d have to deal with my nervous (and not helping at all) fiancé. I knew I needed a steady and experienced person by my side.

Yesterday, I took the test and I passed. Eight years and eight tries.

I thought I would be ecstatic, but I wasn’t. I mean, I was. But honestly, It’s all been hitting me. Slowly.

I’ve had this extreme fear. Extreme shame. Extreme anxiety for years. Because of that, it’s like, I have to process everything. I mean, everything. For example, I can now drive to my job, no strings attached. I can find a better job, that’s not as nearby. We bought a house to a rural area so it’s hard NOT to drive a car. I used to fear I’d feel locked up in the house as long as I didn’t have my license. Now, I have to process that this won’t be the case anymore and I can experience that freedom. There have been so many small things that I had to adjust to. Also, the shame I experienced. It’s just GONE now. Just simply, GONE.

But in any case, I’m also super stoked. And the reason I ranted was

1) to express myself and get it off my chest but also

2) if anyone experiences the same thing (or a similar thing) to assure that it happened to me too.

And for anyone who doesn’t want to ride with me - I totally understand but I took so many classes I consider it an asset. Not only do I know the laws of driving SUPER WELL, I am NEVER going to jeopardize it by driving badly. Because I ain’t planning on losing what I’ve got!

thank you for reading or scrolling

#driving #Driver's License #driving test #anxiety

9 notes · View notes

isrustandstardust · 4 years ago

Text

1. What type of criminal would you be?

A very very sick serial killer like Ed Gein.

2. What are you listening to right now?

I lived with a Killer. I watch it every morning.

3. If you had to choose a stripper name, what would it be?

Vixen.

4. If your phone started ringing, who would you hope is calling?

Nobody, I hate talking on the phone.

5. Do you drink?

A little.

6. Do you smoke?

Way too much.

7. What is the first thing you notice in someone?

Eyes, attitude.

8. Do you get attached easily?

Definitely no.

9. Do you like your eye color?

It’s pretty common but I like it.

10. Have any stupid human tricks?

11. Humor me. What physical ideal do you imagine in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner?

I don’t have an ideal. I like blue eyes, but it’s not a must have. I don’t dwell a lot on physical features.

12. What type of personality traits do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner?

Honesty, kindness, intelligence and a little bit of perversion.

13. Any other essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner?

I need someone with similar interests.

14. Any romantic gestures you really like?

I’m not into romantic gestures at all.

15. Any sexual fantasies? Are you daring enough to share one?

I have lots, but I keep them private.

16. Have you ever been in love?

Once.

17. Do you have a crush/romantic interest in anyone?

I’m in love with my husband.

18. What’s your sexual orientation (if you feel comfortable answering)?

Bi.

19. What’s your favorite color and why?

I’d say black but technically it’s not a color. So I’ll say orange and teal.

20. What was your most embarrassing moment?

I really can’t remember one.

21. Do you ever wish you were someone else?

It happens.

22. What were you like when you were a kid?

Awkward xD

23. What would your dream house be like?

Full of light, with a big garden.

24. What last made you laugh?

My husband being silly.

25. Do you have a place you like to go to collect your thoughts?

I stay at home when I need to.

26. What is your favorite/least favorite food?

I like red meat and I do not eat bread or pasta.

27. What turns you on?

Intelligence and perversion.

28. What turns you off?

Stupidity.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Once.

30. Would you go bungee jumping/sky diving if given the chance?

Yup.

31. Do you have any siblings?

A younger brother.

32. Do you like to dance?

A lot.

33. What is your definition of cheating?

Doing something you cannot talk about with your partner.

34. Have you ever stolen anything?

Yes.

35. Do you regret anything?

I could have done a few thing better.

36. Do you have any phobias?

Arachnophobia, thalassophobia, atelophobia.

37. Ever broken any bones?

No, never.

38. Ever come close to death?

Twice.

39. What is your religion/spirituality, if any?

It’s a really complex matter.

40. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?

Yes, with no use.

41. Are looks important in a relationship?

No.

42. Are you more like your mom or your dad?

I’m not like my parents.

43. What is your favorite season?

Autumn.

44. Do you have any tattoos?

I have 15.

45. Do you have any piercings?

Not atm, but I’d love to get pierced again in the future.

46. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

5 boyfriends, 1 girlfriend.

47. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Like, always xD.

48. What is your favorite thing to do?

Drawing.

49. If you could only visit one place outside of your hometown, where would it be?

Iceland.

50. Do you get jealous easily?

No, not at all. But I get jealous with a reason.

51. What is your favorite type of food?

Low calories food.

52. Do you ever want to get married?

I am married.

53. Who was your first kiss with?

My best friend at the time.

54. How many people have you kissed?

I don’t know tbh.

55. What is your idea of the perfect date?

Being with someone I like.

56. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Introvert, almost asocial.

57. Do you believe in life on other planets, ghosts, or mythical creatures?

I believe in life in the universe.

58. What talent do you wish you’d been born with?

The kind of music talent my husband has.

59. What is your saddest memory?

All the memories related to my mother.

60. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Yes.

61. Do you believe in soul mates?

Yes.

62. Have you ever dyed your hair?

A lot. Pink, blue, red, purple, blonde, gray, orange.

63. Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?

You have no idea XD

64. Would you go against your moral code for money?

It depends on how much money.

65. What are three things most people don’t know about you?

I have several personality disorders [family and friends do not know], I can write backwards like DaVinci, I’m into pretty weird stuff.

66. Have you ever been diagnosed with depression?

Yes.

67. Have you ever contemplated suicide?

Yes.

68. How long was your longest relationship?

4 years and counting.

69. Is the glass half empty or half full?

I don’t know, is it alcoholic?

70. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?

Leeet’s not go there...

71. Who is your most loyal friend?

My best friend Francesca.

72. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, what is your favorite thing about him/her?

He’s a good man.

73. What is your favorite thing about your body and your personality?

I like my hands and lips. And I like my wit and sarcasm.

74. Are you a bad person?

Maybe.

75. Are you a lover or a fighter?

Both.

76. What did you do on your last birthday?

Had dinner with husband and friends.

77. What is your favorite quote and why?

So it goes. It helps me let things go.

78. If your best friend died, what would you do?

I’d be crushed I guess.

79. If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

Human evolution?

80. If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?

I’d love to be by the lake one last time.

81. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had?

Where do I start? I dream about apocalyptic end of the world pretty much every night.

82. Are you happier single or in a relationship?

Being single or in a relationship does not define my happiness.

83. Who were you in a past life?

A witch.

84. What is your happiest childhood memory?

Me and my dad watching western movies.

85. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

Yes.

86. Have you ever had an imaginary friend?

No, it I had an imaginary guardian angel when I was young.

87. What is the story behind one of your scars?

My scars are from self harming.

88. What is your ideal career?

The one I have.

89. Do you want kids?

Maybe, in the future.

90. Do you live with your parents?

No, I’m not 8.

91. Do you have any pets?

Not atm. I want a Rottweiler and a Sphynx tho.

92. How do you feel about PDA?

I’m ok with that, I’m very affectionate.

93. If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?

People.

94. Where would you like to live?

Iceland.

95. Where would you go on your dream vacation?

I’d love to visit Japan, Russia and Iceland.

96. Describe yourself in one word.

Smart.

97. Describe yourself in one sentence.

‘You seek traumas as the night seeks dreams’.

98. Where do you see yourself in five years?

I honestly have no idea, I guess still here, with a better house and still doing my things :)

99. What is your greatest accomplishment?

Overcoming my mental illnesses enough to function as a normal human being.

100. What is the meaning of life?

42.

#survey #about me #myself

1 note · View note

hamonsurveysoverdrive · 4 years ago

Text

Imagery

1. Are you ready for 100 questions? Not if they're all gonna be this stupid. 2. Do you watch college football? No. 3. Who will fill this survey out after you? Idfk. 4. Who was the last person to send you a text message? Krystle. 5. Last time you went swimming in a pool? September 6. Are you happy? Meh 7. Where was the last place you went shopping? Ulta 8. What does your hair look like right now? Messy 9. Where do you live? Texas 10. Last thing you ate/drank? Trail mix and water. 11. Do you wish you were someplace else right now? Nah. 12. Last time you smoked a cigarette? Like, 30 mins ago. 13. Do you have any expensive jewelry? Yes. 14. AIM or Yahoo? lol 15. What classes are you taking right now? Sociology, US History, Composition I. 16. How many hours on average do you work a week? 0. 17. Do you like your job? N/a 18. Favorite NFL team? New York Giants 19. Do you watch the Olympics? Some of the events 20. Last restaurant you went to? Piranha Ramen 21. Who was the last person to call you? Kelsi 22. What is your sign? Scorpio 23. Do you have a favorite number? Yes 24. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donations? The other day 25. What do you spend the majority of your money on? Cigarettes and gas 26. Where does your family live? Mostly Texas, except for my sister and her family, who live in Alabama 27. Are you an only child or do you have siblings? I have an older sister. 29. Ever been called a bitch? I'm a female, of course I have. 31. Do you drink beer? Not anymore. 32. Have you ever experienced true love? Yes. 33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies? I had like three 34. Ever bought anything online? Sure 35. Myspace or Facebook? lol Facebook 36. Do you have T-Mobile? No 37. What was your favorite subject? Anything to do with writing or literature 38. Do you sometimes wish you were someone else? Sure 39. Do you usually fall for the "man whores" or the "sluts"? Yes lol 40. Were you an outcast in high school? In some ways 41. Last time you saw your parents? I saw my dad last night, my mom yesterday morning 42. Do you have any talents? Sure 43. Ever been in a wedding? Yepp 44. Do you have any children? Two boys 45. Last movie you watched? Uhhhhhhhhhh I don't remember 46. Are you missing anyone at the moment? Yes 47. Did you take a nap today? No 48. What /Who was your HS Mascot? Warriors. Super racist. 49. Ever been on a cruise? Yepp 50. Favorite vacation spot? Big cities 51. Last time you were mad? Yesterday probably 52. Favorite TV Show? Friends, Frasier 53. Ever met anyone famous before? Yes 54. Favorite actor? Jack Nicholson, John Malkovich, Daniel Day Lewis 55. Favorite actress? Meryl Streep, Cate Blanchett 56. Are you multi-tasking right now? Yes 57. Could you handle being in the military? No 58. Are you hungry or thirsty? Hungry, but lazy 59. Favorite fast food restaurant? Chicken Express 61. What is your average cell phone bill? 62. 62. Do you own a camera phone? lol Yes 63. Ever had to take a sobriety test? Yes, at my highschool prom lol 64. Do you believe in Karma? No 65. Can you speak any other languages? Not fluently 66. Last time you went to the gym or worked out? lol 67. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Enough 68. Do you have a photo hosting site that you use? No 69. Last place you were? I was at Justin's house last night, if we're not counting my own home 70. What is your college mascot? A bull 71. Ever been to Las Vegas? Nope. 75. What do you think is your best feature? My lips 76. Have you ever been gambling? Yes 77. How old are your parents? 50 and 54 78. When is the last time you updated your blog? ...Now 79. Do you have your wisdom teeth? Yes 80. Favorite place to be? Big cities, movie theaters 81. Have you been to New York City? Yepp 82. Favorite sit down restaurant? The Porch, India Star, Blue 83. Ever been to Disney Land? No, but I've been to Disney World twice. 84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character? Spinelli 85. Last thing you cooked? Jalapeno poppers 86. How is the weather today? Nice 87. Do you email? When I need to 88. Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill? My new glasses 89. Favorite store? Target 91. Last voicemail you received? No idea 92. Do you drunk dial/text? I don't drink 93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone? Dropped it in a toilet. On accident, of course. 94. What is the best city in the state that you have lived in? I have only lived in Dallas and Arlington, so I guess Arlington. 95. Favorite band/artist? Jimi Hendrix 96. Last time you were sick? Last year 97. Are you bored right now? Not really, just procrastinating the things I actually need to do. 98. Last concert you went to? Ugh, Pentatonix. It sucked and now it's going to be for forever before I can change it, because America doesn't know how to shut down for a pandemic. 99. What do you think about before you go to bed? Whatever. 100. What are your plans for tomorrow? Finishing studying.

#survey #surveys

1 note · View note

omgturtlequeen · 5 years ago

Text

Realty Brokerage Is Changing to a Virtual Brokerage Model

Realty offices are closing all over the country. Real estate agents are hanging " up " their licenses in every state. The traditional bricks-and-mortar real estate brokerage firm is hemorrhaging, and all that keeps this archaic business design alive is consolidations. As offices close, some realtors quit, but the survivors move their licenses to another going ship, a ship that looks just like the last one particular and often with the exact same name on the bow. A large operation office closes it's doors, no longer able to keep the equipment on after more than a year of operating in the red. Typically the agents are worried sick, not knowing what they will do, until finally their savior walks in the door. A broker from a substantial bricks-and-mortar across town with the same franchise offers to take the agents in with the exact same contract terms: each professional pays $600 per month and keeps 100% of their fees. The agents sigh in relief and quickly indication the new contracts like sheep to the slaughter. Since the agent can't generate enough leads for the agents, and because agents aren't selling enough to make the broker ample money on commission splits, any kind of split wouldn't be the better choice for the broker today. A sharp broker will fee each agent a monthly fee. He laughs right to the bank, because with 60 agents paying $600 per month, he's making $36, 000 a month just for located. Three years ago I sat across the desk from a business broker who looked at me and said, "Well, we have been feeding the business every month. You have to do that when times are rough. But we've been through tough times before, and we normally come out okay. " I remember thinking to myself which was a silly thing to say coming from a man who informed me he had no business plan, no budget for marketing, rarely are written vision for the future of his business. Unfortunately, who same broker just issued a press release that he is without a doubt permanently closing the doors of his bricks-and-mortar and will be hanging his license with another bricks-and-mortar. Another consolidation. This broker is merely jumping from one sinking ship to a single that hasn't sunk yet. The new ship has quite a lot of leaks, and it may take a while for folks on the Titanic to wake up. Bricks-and-mortar real estate brokerages that stubbornly won't bridge the gap to an entirely new business model will probably die a slow and painful death. It's a thing for brokers to ride their own ship down, but it really is quite another thing altogether for those brokers to sell tickets to make sure you real estate agents with promises they can't keep. The most unfortunate detail about all of this is that the agents who think there're doing what it takes to survive are only re-arranging the ground chairs on the Titanic. Many of them truly do not know or grasp how precarious their fate is. Many of them do own an uncomfortable feeling, and they know something is wrong by their business model. Just like so many of the passengers on the Titanic towards the end who smiled and kept saying, "Don't be bothered, everything always works out alright, " traditional agents continue to keep greet people with a smile and wait for the phone for you to ring. But the ship is tilting, and they are at risk. Individuals just don't know what to do. This is the great dilemma of being ensnared. It is the classic inability to think outside of oneself. Traditional broker companies and agents who have operated within a traditional brokerage style for many years struggle to think in entirely new ways. Why is this especially difficult for so many is their agony with technology and the Internet. Some simply refuse to find out the technologies. I know of a top producer who refuses to adapt, and he sincerely believes he can delegate a number of the responsibilities to his assistant. Few assistants are going to commit night and day learning and adapting for a boss, and if many people do and leave someday, where does that get away from the agent? Even successfully delegating leaves serious obstacles in bridging the gap, which I will share subsequently. There's been a huge change, but not all agents and providers recognize what is happening. Most do not comprehend that they are in the center of a major earthquake. Therefore , they continue to do what individuals always have done. Underlying all these changes is something highly big that traditional brokers are missing. Just as it will be powerful forces that move tectonic plates deep under the earth's surface, we are experiencing powerful forces bringing about an earthquake in the real estate world. As with so much for life, what we see on the surface is merely a symptom of a more deeply and much more significant movement that is actually the driving make. It is this driving force that many brokers and providers have not recognized. Here is the first tectonic force that is around the root of all these changes effecting the real estate industry: a change in consumer behavior. Granted, it's a huge change during consumer behavior. It's so big with so many implications, most people don't comprehend it. The full description of these changes throughout consumer behavior would be quite long, but here is a transient summary in the context of the real estate business. Consumers are now not willing to be sold with obnoxious advertising and informed what to buy and when to buy it. Consumers are sick and tired of interruption advertising, of billboards, of high pressure salesmen, of telesales, and of misrepresentations and boldfaced lies. Consumers retained it with professional conflicts of interest. They're sick and tired with only getting partial information upon which to base the most important decisions. Consumers want and demand freedom to overpower their own destiny. They don't like being controlled. They don't including being manipulated. The second tectonic force effecting such remarkable changes in the real estate industry is powerful in its own right, but also acts as a catalyst for the changes through consumer behavior. The catalyst that has empowered consumers as well as forcing these changes that are the death knell regarding traditional real estate brokerage is... advances in technology. The brokerage business model has been totally unequipped to deal with these tectonic shifts. The impact of the real estate recession has rapid this process to be sure, but only in time. Had it not even been for this recession, the impact of these changes on consumer behavior would have taken longer, but the impact would certainly ultimately be the same. The recession has acted as a diversion, however , distracting real estate agents from the real cause of their tragedy. I'm reminded of the newspaper salesman who tried selling me expensive print advertising recently. I ask your pet, "Why would I advertise in the newspaper when the software hasn't sold any of my real estate listings in the past time? Help me out. Why should I advertise in your pieces of paper? " His response while soft-spoken and polite, was basically of the same mindset as many real estate brokers today, "Well, you do not need want to be left out when your competition is advertising, do you? " In response to my blank stare, he pleaded, "When business is slow, it's not the time to stop advertising. Oahu is the time to advertise more than ever! " That's when I could no more contain myself, and I broke out laughing. We all used that line in sales 30 years ago. Will be they still using that line? Yes, they are. Unsurprisingly, that kind of sales pitch still works with many real estate agents as well as brokers, because like flies bouncing off the plate tumbler windows in a futile effort to escape from bondage, a large number of agents are still doing what they admit doesn't work really well anymore. Whatever we were doing that was not working prior to must be done twice as fast now. If the ship you may be on is sinking, be quick about your business and join another ship just like the last one. Such behavior will be insanity and a ticket to failure. More real estate brokers experience filed for bankruptcy protection in the past two years than whenever they want in U. S. History. And the earthquake has not completed as many bricks-and-mortar brokers are on the verge of ending their doors soon. It is the early adopters of new customers models and new technologies who will be the millionaire real estate agents in the years to come. Because time is truncated with the speeding up pace of the growth of technology and the use of the world wide web, those who pause too long to think about doing something will be placed so far behind, they may never catch up. Think of a location ship going into warp speed. Those who missed the travel will find themselves light years behind their colleagues. This is why it will be for traditional real estate agents who insist on staying lurking behind. There is an answer, and it means embracing technology, new marketing methods, new tools to reach clients, and mastering the Internet in the form of powerful medium.

1 note · View note

huhnerhexen · 5 years ago

Note

all for the other ask set!

I just took my painkillers, so I'm really high and I'm sorry if this makes no sense, I'm trying my best...

1. Are looks important in a relationship?

- yes, but they're not the most important thing. I can look past appearance, but if you're ugly on the inside it'll never work

2. Are relationships ever worth it?

- theyre worth it every time! Even if they fail, you learn a lot about yourself and they change you for the better

3. Are you a virgin?

- no

4. Are you in a relationship?

- no, my partner of about three years and I broke up a month ago

5. Are you in love?

- I'm in love with myself, which is more than I can say when I was in that relationship

6. Are you single this year?

- yes

7. Can you commit to one person?

- yes; I'm like a penguin... I mate for life

8. Describe your crush

- that's easy, I don't have one

9. Describe your perfect mate

- soft and sweet, generous, respectful of my boundaries, openly communicative, like my grandpa!

10. Do you believe in love at first sight?

- no

11. Do you ever want to get married?

- yes

12. Do you forgive betrayal?

- in time and with an apology, of course

13. Do you get jealous easily?

- I used to, but I've done a lot of work since then and I don't anymore

14. Do you have a crush on anyone?

- other than myself? no

15. Do you have any piercings?

- I have a nose ring, my septum pierced, 3 earrings in my right ear, and two in my left

16. Do you have any tattoos?

- 11; a bumble bee, a cat drinking wine, my rat's footprint, my grandma's signature, a sloth, the pisces constellation, the aurora borealis constellation, squirrel nutkin, my grandpa's signature, Snufkin and Moomin, and a lavender sprig

17. Do you like kissing in public?

- a quick peck doesn't bother me, but keep your tongue in your own mouth

There is no 18 or 19 in this series of questions??

20. Do you shower everyday?

- I've been bathing more than showering lately, but I do wash everyday

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

- I don't, but that's none of my business anyways

22. Do you think someone is thinking of you right now?

- no, I don't think so

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

- obviously, I did that for 3 years. I don't cheat, it's wrong and it fucks people up

24. Do you think you'll be married in five years?

- maybe? I haven't given it much thought tbh

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?

- no

26. Has anyone told you they don't want to ever lose you?

- yes, and then they did

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?

- no

28. Have you ever been cheated on?

- not that I am aware of

29. Have you ever cheated on someone?

- no, I would never

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?

- I've had plastic surgery twice; once in the ninth grade to fix me jaw, and two days ago I had top surgery

31. Have you ever cried over a guy or girl?

- yes, and what a waste of time that was

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?

- no

33. Have you ever had sex with a man?

- yes

34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?

- no

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

-yes

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?

- yes

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

- yes

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to?

- yes

39. Have you ever waved someone you couldn't have?

- yes

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?

- yes

41. Have you had sex so far this year?

- yes

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?

- depends on the person, but awhile, I really like kissing

43. How long was your longest relationship?

- almost 3 years

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?

- I've had 6 partners

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013?

- I can say with 100% certainty that I have no idea; I can't even remember what I had for breakfast this morning

46. How many times did you have sex last year?

- I don't know, sex isn't something I count

47. How old are you?

- 21

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

- I'd ask them why, people love to talk about their crushes, I'd also encourage them to go after it. Just because I like someone doesn't make them mine

49. If you have a partner, what is your favourite thing about them?

- I don't have a partner

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with am apology and presents, would you accept?

- no, not yet. I'm not at a place to forgive Kai yet. I'm still working through and breaking down what they did to me

51. Is there someone you would do absolutely anything for?

- yea, my grandma

52. Is there anyone you've given up on? Why?

- I gave up on my dad's dad, Lane; he's just a genuinely awful guy and every time I've tried to extend an olive branch it's come back to bite me in the ass. He can be angry and miserable alone, I don't have room for that shit in my life.

53. Is there someone mad because you're seeing/talking to the person that you are?

- no, the people in my life are incredibly supportive of me in all my endeavors and decisions

54. Is there something you will never forget?

- what a classmate and friend wrote to my mom once when she was compiling a big note full of all the reasons people care about me. "There's nothing they could ever do that would be bad". Those words have been etched onto my heart for 6 years

55. Share a relationship story

- I'll tell you about my grandparents, and how they were made for each other. My grandpa worked for CBC and so did my grandma, but they worked in separate buildings, and one night my grandma's friend says "Elaine, come out for drinks with me and some of the guys" and my grandma really doesn't want to, but she's a polite lady so she does anyways. She winds up sitting next to my grandpa, and they don't say much to each other but his friends keep bugging him and making jokes about how he needs to "get home to his wife" (he isn't married, but he fancies my grandma and his friends are just trying to make him work harder for her). They wind up leaving at the same time, and they walk home together because they lived a couple buildings away from one another. My grandpa assures my grandma that he isn't married, he tells her he's going home to Red Jacket, Saskatchewan for Christmas, but could he give her a call when he comes home? She says yes; and a year later they were married. They've been madly in love with each other ever since.

56. State 8 facts about your body.

- I have 8 less teeth than the average adult; my eyes are two different shapes; when I learned to walk it was with a slight limp so now I always have one; when my body is really low on estrogen I get incredibly clumsy; I have 2 holes in my jaw from where a surgical plate was removed; I'm deathly allergic to peanuts; my limbs are so long, my fingertips almost reach down to my knees; I have a small groove in my head from wearing headgear when I was a child.

57. Things you want to say to an ex

- you always went on and on about how I deserved better, and you're wrong. It's not that I deserved better, you just didn't deserve me.

I have so much pity for you, because you have to live the rest of your life knowing what Ostin did to your mom, you did much the same to me. You acted the same as the man who makes you so sick. You're disgusting for what you did, and I hope you regret it everyday of your life.

58. What are 5 ways to win your heart?

- listen openly to me, tell me things that happened to you during your day, sending me songs or poems or little trinkets that remind you of me, laugh at my jokes, vocalize your feelings about me

59. What do you look like?

This is me and my roommate's cat, Anaan!

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?

- two years, he was 15 I was 17 and as soon as I learned how smol he was I couldn't get past it...

61. What's the first thing you notice in someone?

- their mouth, I lip-read so someone's lips and teeth is the first thing my eyes go to

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do to/for you?

- oh gee I don't even know? Maybe take off my clothes for me, but like really slowly?

63. What is your definition of "having sex"?

- anything that gets the job done, y'know? wets the whistle

64. What is your definition of cheating?

- being physically intimate with a party outside of the pre-established exclusive relationship

65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?

- tease me until I want to kill you, and then fuck me until I can't remember my own name

66. What is your favourite roleplay?

- I don't have one. I did improv in highschool and doing any sort of "acting on the spot" makes me astral project back to that cringey time

67. What is your idea of a perfect date?

- one where it doesn't matter what you're doing, you never want it to end because you can never have enough time with the person you're with

68. What is your sexual orientation?

- queer!

69. What turns you off?

- people who are mean to animals

70. What turns you on?

- climate justice

71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?

- that will stay between me and the lord, thanks

72. What words do you like to hear during sex?

- none, if you can form words or sentences, one of us isn't doing our job right

73. What's something sweet you'd like someone to do for you?

- bring me flowers! No one has ever brought me flowers before

74. What's the most superficial characteristic you look for?

- probably wardrobe

75. What's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you?

- my sister moved in with me to take care of me while I recover from my mastectomy. I didn't even have to ask, she offered to do it

76. What's the sweetest thing you've done for someone?

My roommate and I had mice and squirrels living in the basement of our old house, and they ate and destroyed all of her old baby books and photo albums; so this year for Christmas I took all the pictures I had of us, and a bunch of pictures she had posted on her social media, and I made her a new photo book to preserve the memories she made these last few years.

77. What's your opinion on age differences in relationships?

- the older you get, the less age difference really matters, my roommate is 41 and her partner is turning 61 this year. I think so long as both parties are of legal age and consenting, do what you want. That being said, it gets iffy if the older party knew the younger person when they were a child; ie. Leonardo DiCaprio and his most recent girlfriend.

78. What's your dirtiest secret?

- I don't have one? I'm literally an open book... You can ask me anything

79. When was the last time you felt jealous?

- when an 8 year old girl came into the shop and told me her grandpa was taking her shopping for her birthday.

80. When was the last time you told someone that you loved them?

- on Wednesday, when I was saying goodbye to my grandma at the hospital (that sounds like a downer, she's fine, she had a knee operation and I went to visit her after work)

81. Who are five people you find attractive?

- LP, Ezra Miller, Joji, my ex boyfriend (they're mad cute, but they're ugly on the inside), Chris Fleming

82. Who is the last person you hugged?

- my mom, after she drove me home from the hospital and helped me get inside

83. Who was your first kiss with?

- a boy named Rhys, in the ninth grade. We were each other's beards before we even knew it

84. Why did your last relationship fail?

- a lot of different reasons; we kept fighting, they had no time for me, they wouldn't communicate with me, I had trouble trusting them, they sexually assaulted me and were hella manipulative, they forgot I existed a lot, there were a lot of red flags that we ignored until it blew up in our faces.

85. Would you ever date someone off of the internet?

- sure, I don't see why not!

Thanks for asking! Sorry it took so long to answer, I had to stop and nap a few times in between questions...

#answered

2 notes · View notes