#Expectations from ur parents on how to act and suddenly you have these powers that are beyond you and I know it used to b that the gods

[bg3sinbin]

Alright so I told myself I wouldn't post anything about it... but I still can't stop thinking about the A!Astarion kisses, Tav/Durge's face during it, and the stupid blow up around it. So here we go

Warnings: This is long and rambly and contains all kinds of spoilers. I am an A!Astarion lover. I will not be responding to discourse on this post. I do not care if you disagree. Make your own vent post.

OKAY so the brunt of the arguments I keep trying to ignore seeing surrounding this are how the expressions are "immersion breaking" for A!A fans, and everyone else clowning on them (sometimes rightfully so tho, ngl) because "the game gives the player expressions all the time! why are u mad now? do u just want ur Tav/Durge to be a blank slate?? lmao idiot" which ??? okay it feels like ur purposefully missing the point.

Yeah, actually sometimes this game gives my Durge some really ooc reactions. And it does, in fact, bother me. That being said, that is to be expected when u take an oc u had for like ten years and try to stick them in a pre-programmed video game. Things are gonna get ooc sometimes.

It also though, is usually smaller moments. Or things that happen Once and then u move on. Conversations where I go "hmmm. he wouldn't say any of these. oh well." or moments where he reacts negatively to terrible things that this evil bastard would normally laugh at. OH. WELL.

Now here's where my frustration actually come in. This game does a really good job, probably a better job than anything else I've played, at letting u play an interesting evil char. Something more than just "I am Rude, Aggressive, and A Dick To Everyone" and thus being punished for it gameplay wise.

I can play The Dark Urge, literal child of the god of murder, a canon necrophiliac, cannibalistic, gore freak that was going to flatten the entire world. There is a whole ass plot line and ending (multiple achievements included!) surrounding doing just that. There's all kinds of nasty interactions/plot options programmed in.

Yet, to the best of my memory, my Durge doesn't look horrified when we choose to slaughter the grove. He doesn't look horrified when we choose to kill the Dame Aylin, or Isobel. He isn't Obviously Distraught when we choose to help Astarion complete the ritual, or when we kill Shadowheart's parents, or become an Unholy Assassin of Bhaal.

To my knowledge, the player character isn't made to look afraid when kissing Dark Justiciar!Shadowheart, nor when they are literally poisoned by kissing Minthara. Sure, u CAN be offended about it in the convo with her after, but its still ur choice as the player.

I mean shit, they even patched in (in that very same patch) a positive, supportive reaction from ur evil partners at the end when u take over the nether brain! (at least for A!Astarion, and Minthara) so now when u do the evil thing that u and ur evil partner have been talking about all game, they don't suddenly change their opinion the second u actually do it.

And I really appreciate that about bg3. I can make evil choices and get interesting outcomes rather than the game just locking me out of all content actually made for that quest. Like ffs u can only get Minthara's romance scene if u slaughter dozens of innocents.

THIS GAME REWARDS U FOR DOING THE BAD THING. And like the evil options do usually have drawbacks and/or are less fleshed out than the good ones, but there are whole ass plots arcs u will never see if u only play good chars. This game makes playing an evil character interesting.

So why is it that I can do all that, and make/have my Durge react (mostly) accordingly, yet the moment the partner I chose acts controlling, now is when my characters feelings are being decided for me?

I can spend the whole game hearing Astarion talk about how spawn are controlled, how all vampires want is power, and I can say to his face "yes! this character wants that! turn me!" and yet somehow... what? the creators think I didn't know?

It just genuinely doesn't make sense to me. Like I can choose, through dialogue, that my Durge is power hungry, and very into the idea of being Astarion's pretty little lap dog. He knew what he was signing up for! And yet he looks terrified when his vampire bf (who has been feeding on him all game) bites his lip?? really?

Idk I just have some really weird feelings on some of the ways they try to Really Emphasize that u made the wrong choice for Astarion specifically, and this just exemplifies that.

Either do the rest of ur characters this service, make all of them (make every choice in the game) a moral lesson for the player to learn, where u hold their hand and say "u didn't listen to what they actually needed :c u could have done the good thing but u didn't :c"

Or let me play my evil bastard. And let me revel in it.

[cloggedarteri]

♡ you think regis would smoke with his son? you think he's cool like that?...i bet he was bout that shit when he was younger but then slowed down when he had noctis...ya know what? i wouldnt doubt aulea was bout it too. if she's been a friend of regis' for who knows how long theres no doubt she hadnt gained a pair of iron lungs. i bet she was a lil snoop dog in comparison to regis...i wish we had more info about aulea tho. i bet she was cool as hell. ahh buff ass aulea holding a greatsword like gladio omg. i just want subtle buff women who you dont expect to be strong to then up and rock ur shit

♡regis getting called in for one of those buzzfeed type "getting to know the caluems" type interviews that will later be broadcasted for the entertainment of his subjects. i imagine those interviewing him asking the basic questions, like the 'whats was your most fullfilling act as monarch' and 'what are your go to's when de-stressing?". ya know, questions you really dont have to use alot of brain power to think up. and i think regis would usually put up some more resistance when answering questions about himself, but this interviewer for some particular reason was just so easy to talk to. at times he'd even forgotten that the cameras were rolling and regis isnt ashamed to admit that he's let out a couple of hearty laughs during their chat. so she ups the ante a little, starts asking questions where he has to stop and think of a response. like "what was your greatest grief?" and "what was your happiest memory?"...youd think the questions would bring a somber note to the video but it doesnt. and then as the video concludes the interviewer asks the last question

♡"whats something we wouldnt expect from you?"

"hm"

"doesnt have to be anything major if you cant think of anything"

"its not really groundbreaking but aulea and i went on a bender a couple days after my ascension"

'really!?'

'our being missing caused a minor crisis that i suppose until now i havent admitted to...sorry clarus'

and the camera pans to the still figure of the kings shield whos slackjawed in disbelief

♡regis who gets his office door slammed open by noctis who suddenly has a barrage of questions about his youth...talk about yourself to your kids, parents. (i love my caleum boys so much) 

[onmymasa22]

Anyone else about to leave to go food shopping, and take off ur scarf... cuz the idea of being overwhelmed by rami levy, plus having fabric around my neck is just too much

So much adulting today- made a food shopping list according to the store layout to get the minimum amount of overwhelmed

On one hand, i wish there was a rule that babies are not allowed on buses trains and planes. On the other hand, i get that mommys need to go places just like i do. So on the thurd hand what i wish, was for buses trains and planes to have these magic powers that babies don't cry, theyre just peaceful and happy on planes trains and bises. That way, everyones happy

If i was a parent my rules would be no tattoos and no face piercings. Do up the ears, shave half ur head, colors, i dont care.

When i was in highschool i would babysit at least once a week for a family with six kids. I remember like being decently loose. Like they liked seeing me and i understood that theyd go to sleep when they got tired but i cant make them do anything. So id just go up and whoever

Thats so interesting. Dont tell a child theyre smart, praise them for hard work. Cuz in lie wjen they come to something hard theyll think u lied to them versus if u praise them for hard wirk theyll work harder. See, i was never praised for being smart because academically i wasnt smart in the way school tested me. My parents only cared about me working hard. So it instilled in me the idea of working hard. That i learned to just wirk harder to accommodate what was hard for me.

On the other side, the compliment id get as a kid was that i was pretty. So all of a sudden as a teen, when my teeth were too big for my face and i didnt know what to do with my hair, and later acne, i hated the way i looked abd it was really hard for me, i took it really personally.

Im sorry i didnt show up to a speech that couldve been an email. My body decided not to listen to the advil i took. And it has decided to explode blood today. Id appreciate it if, as a female, ud act like you understand. But alas, for some reason unbenounced to me,

Can someone explain to me how as females, u have this whole schedule and all these things u want to do, and then suddenly ur body decides- no we're gonna exist on advil and tea and u can just cancel anything non essential cuz lord knows ur not doing anything u dont absolutely need to. And then the female heads of ur department ask you why you didnt go to a lecture and they should understand and my answer to them is just, the advil didnt work, talk to my bidy.

I am a female. That means theres gonna be around three days of the month im living off of advil and tea, and only doing what's absolutely necessary. Im not a boy. I shouldnt be expected to be fine every day of the month, im not. Im human. But running the show here is that on top of the whole human thing of mental health not always being perfect, not every day is a good day

On top of all the human stuff is the fact that im female and i have hormones and im emotional like a girl, and i have blood gushing out of my vagina like a girl, my sheets sometimes get stained like a girl and

I kind of was fucked out of a lot of friends lives.

Ive always been a black or white person. Im very nice but not always nice. And im not nice to everyone. Ive always been the fuck u friend in the group wjen someone gets out of line. I'm the friend everyone needs to calm down. Im the friend who will always be down to egg someones house, car, face. I'm the friend that tells the guy "u break her heart, ill break ur face". I dont believe every text deserves a response. I don't think when ppl call me it means i need to answer. I will block people. I will cut people and not feel bad at all. I wont say sorry if im not. I can be brutally honest sometimes. I dont argue with people. Especially those who are more ugly than me inside and out. I have lost friends from being honest. And im ok with that. Because i was never mean, but they dont deserve me. And thats ok. And ive worked on myself. Snd i keep working on myself. It used to be hard for me. And it comes in waves. But i have enough great people in my life that i dont need people who dont appreciate having me around. I would rather be

I have a theory of why food is such a deficult thing with adhd. So much energy goes into showing daily, making sure i keep up woth laundry, paying all the bills that need to be paid, listening to ppl. Oh my gosh. Listening to people takes up so much energy i discovered which connects to

Auditory processing disorder affects

[trans-li-ling]

Thinking abt writing just a lil collection abt how messed up the world in dislyte is and how it's canonically speaking like a religious event and a lot natural disasters combined. Like so many people have died/had their lives uprooted by the miracles its crazy

[yakocchi]

Becoming a Family With Him, Part 3 // Shuichi, Hikaru, Rhion, Luke, Eisuke

so this came out, as further celebration for the anni. VERY GOOD, much more appreciated than the prior story set lol that one was kind of boring but i get it

they made the kids for all the... kid-less ones, and the eisuke one that used to be VIP-exclusive is now here for everyone to buy (rip those ppl who gacha for it)

my rambling behind the cut (spoilers!!)

shuichi // as ud expect, shuichi has a literal hime ass looking girl (kikyo) for a daughter. she’s only 6, but is pretty calm and ladylike. She even calls her parents with –sama so... ok luckily shuichi does not strip down all the way in the presence of her daughter and only takes off his suit coat. thanks dad

anyway since shuichi has a break coming up, he wants to have a family trip how nice. but then the dang girl wants to go over to see eisuke WHAT when soryu exists and lives a block away? unrelatable, im closing the app anyway eisuke is her first love, which wtf he’s like 20 yrs older than u. even worse, mc says she’s been in love since she was like 3.

shuichi is reconsidering the benefits of democracy in his mind but eventually relents. but then they’re still following the fucc-days rule they set years ago. well, as he says in the story, RULES ARE RULES

blah blah i don’t want to go over everything bc then it’ll be boring reading the story when it comes out in engl right? also im tired bc it’s 1 am and i just want to play toontown in bed but nothing really bad happens. they are a v cute family bc shuichi is a pleasant and mature dad. kikyo and mc even do a little surprise for him at the end and it is very sweet. i feel like out of all the families, this is the most ideal

mad hatter // so they have twin sons named Rui and Kai. Rui is the childlike one that resembles Rhion in personality, Kai is the more mature one that resembles Al. man i forget that boy’s name but u get me i know they only can use stock bgs but it’s killing me that these dang kids get to sleep in what looks like separate king sized beds.

even though rhion is now a father of two, he still acts like... 10. i mean he still horni but it makes me feel weird

later it’s revealed that Ota teaches them both as an art tutor bc they both showed an interest in art. this is cute bc ota is bad with kids in this universe LOL

the ending on this one was weird cuz the kids didn’t show up in the entirety of the last ep bc it was about WORK. so uh... interesting

hikaru // so their son is named akari. haha get it because it means light. like how hikaru also means light. can mc name her kids unrelated to their father or is that against the Geneva convention

this kid actually acts like an actual little boy. like what hikaru would’ve probably turned into if not for the whole sad backstory. the story starts with akari just bringing a dog randomly home one day. he actually saved the dog (it is very cute bc he did not want the dog to cry), and then after a talk they decide to keep the dog as long as akari knows the responsibility of taking care of an animal.

so next day, the bidders come over to their house and everyone’s like woaw a dog. lol they come into their house as guests and eisuke and mamo still demand for beverages, they all suck

akari names the dog... “Light” (Raito) and i want out of this nightmare. Naturally bc Light is an abandoned dog it’s still kind of bad with interacting with things. But then Light suddenly be giving the ( ╹ਊ╹) to soryu bc remember, animals love him. everyone clowns on soryu for being an unintentional dog whisperer and then akari is like “soryu san pls make me ur apprentice” and he gives some advice like approaching it slowly, and talking to it from the front instead of back.

blah blah there’s a situation where Light goes YEET after a Doberman gets all angry and then hides bc then another dog is scaring it. hikaru swoops in to the save the day as the Real Dog Whisperer. ok it’s cute when hikaru actually gets to look cool  for once LOL

luke // luke is cute on the bc “pre-story” scene he’s actually pretty open to the idea of having kids; he actually goes “well imo we should think abt it pretty soon, but i wanted to hear ur opinion on it” but then he gets horni. and then he’s like “our kids are going to have your collarbones. awesomeee im looking forward to that” ....ok

ok cut to the actual story and they’re in Japan. Luke’s kid looks... strange versus the others. why are his eyes so big? omg voltage his eyes arent going to be saucers just cuz he half white also the kid’s name is Yuri (Or Urey). They couldn’t think of any other Brit-styled names? Like Harry? Henry? William? Wilfred? hey stan be my princess btw he’s pretty cute, though he gives serious “timid kid that gets bullied in the children’s movie” vibes. He calls Luke “daddy” and mc “mammy/mommy”.

so luke talks about his relationship w/ soryu and eisuke and then yuri is like “i want friends like that” wow cute but also find less ethically-complicated friends

so luke lets yuri meet a young patient of his (haru) so they can be friends. they get along so it’s good. haru gets in critical condition later so luke zooms outta there to do the operation.

LOL but at the end yuri is like, “i want to make more friends. (...) can i go to the bidder’s room from now on?” this boy works fast

And then he’s like “Eisuke-san... please be my friend.” HIS POWER. even eisuke was like :O so then eisuke orders a whole bunch of food and books up to the penthouse. But then yuri’s like “...i like eisuke’s eyes” and everyone’s like oh man that’s gonna be his fetish

Baba: why have u started to have an interest in eyes Yuri: I read it from one of daddy’s medical books Hikaru: wtf u can read that at 4??? (...) Soryu: wat Yuri: um... i want soryu to be my friend too Yuri: bc soryu’s eyes are also powerfully cool...

eisuke // ok this gets an extended ramble bc the more annoying the story the longer i must complain

so you might be thinking, “oh so this is gonna be a flashback in some in media res styled story with your 2 kids, u know in the style of the others” and well, no you just go straight to white screen into the flashback, back when eito was smaller and thus a little more cute. well it’s not really false advertising bc they did say “reminisce” in the description. but i wanted to see eito be a good big brother for a moment! or... less good? man i wanted to see kaito go waaaah like a baby idk i wanted to see him exist

so back to the story they cut to small eito. even as a smaller punk he does fight with his dad a little, just w/ a more narrow vocabulary to work with. tho at this point he’s still pretty sweet so clearly eisuke clowning him day and night was a negative effect on his development. (doesn’t treat his child like a child) (child grows up to a punk that doesn’t respect him) (surprised pikachu) being the son of a billionaire means that this child has to go study at a very young age and listen to MOZART. no child of eisuke ichinomiya will be listening to degenerate bops like lee taemin’s criminal next day they all go to the very fancy school that eito will be attending. eisuke does a speech, but then eito is all like “why is papa over there all the time” in reference to how all the other parents in attendance are having fun with their children, but eisuke is busy talking to other people for business and connections etc. etc. mc kind of has a hard time trying to explain it to eito bc... it’s honestly poor parenting... eiji shows up after arriving late, and he’s like “gramps is gonna be with ya today! instead of papa” which is cute but then she’s like psst thanks for coming and im like oh... so grandpa just didn’t randomly come to the open house for fun he’s just gonna be surrogate dad while real dad is busy... aw... and then at the end eito’s like FUC THIS KINDERGARTEN. eisuke is like “(smh) don’t yell in public. (despite everything) you are still the eldest son of the Ichinomiya family”

and so afterwards it’s clear that eito does not want anything to do with this school. he just sits in the classroom until mc is there to pick him up instead of playing in the courtyard or w/e, wanting nothing to do with the other kids.

so later there’s a hiking trip for the students and both of their parents, and mc asks eisuke if he’ll be available for it. eisuke is like, “i have a business trip that day, so I’ll have to adjust my schedule” and he’s been very busy in the opening of a new business or w/e. mc tells him to not do so much for something like that and that it’s ok if she goes alone with eito on the trip.

it’s the day of the trip, and mc goes alone with eito. she notes that a lot of dads did indeed come along for the trip. she apologizes to eito and says that she did talk to eisuke about the trip before, but he’s simply busy for this day. and im like... but girl, you were the one who told him not to change his schedule for the trip. yes a trip may seem less important than business ventures, but don’t make it sound like you weren’t the one who stopped him. lol. idk why im pressed abt this single line of dialogue bc later she does realize she fucced up there well eito is just like w/e about it and has pretty much accepted that sort of thing

anyway eito goes missing later and one of the kids said that he told eito that his dad (eisuke) didn’t come bc his dad thinks that his work is more important than his son. so eito got mad and ran off somewhere

and then mc finally gets the lightbulb moment that eito... wants to see his dad!! he ran off to go try to see him somehow??? !! wow so sweet

it’s raining like a mf but then in her search for eito eisuke randomly pops out of nowhere. He’s like “ho i did not remember saying that i wasn’t coming” and she’s like “im sorrryyy” and both me and him are like “just find the dang kid”

ok yea they find eito, he starts being a good student, and u start to see where he starts being antagonistic towards his dad LOL etc. etc. lol this story annoyed me so i don’t feel like doing the rest of the play by play orz

anyway thanks for reading my garbage LOL

[whumphoarder]

hi! sorry if you already have a rec list for this, but do you have any outsider pov fics? like i read this one series with peters physics teacher which was super cool so if u know of any others kinda like that or of civilians that spidey has helped? i also super enjoyed ur school nurse one lol

Five Time Faculty Members Had to Call Peter's Emergency Contact + 1 Time He Shows Up Anyway by kingdomfaraway

“Peter,” Jim started, “if you’re more comfortable with your Aunt, we can reschedule for another time.”

“Nonsense,” Tony said, speaking before Peter could. “She’s a very busy woman, I, on the other hand, have all the time in the world.”

Jim kept eye contact with Peter, who just nodded. “It’s fine, I’m sure he would show up anyway…”

Tony gave a very smug grin to both Peter and then to Jim.

Everyday Superhero by stoneage_woman

When a field trip to Stark Industries ends in disaster, Roger Harrington finds himself faced with an impossible choice. Suddenly, Tony Stark is shoving an NDA in his face while Peter Parker stares at him with terrified, desperate eyes. Nothing in his 13-year teaching career could have prepared Harrington for this, but he knows one thing for sure: ten years ago, he'd stared down into the sightless eyes of a seventeen-year-old girl, and he'd sworn to himself that he would never again lose another student. He's going to do everything in his power to keep that promise now…even if it costs him everything.

Set during and post Spider-Man Homecoming. A realistic field trip story that also explores the long-term consequences of trauma and responsibility, written by a real-life teacher.

Big Secrets, And Other Things To Talk To Your Therapist About by Aimael

How Dr Lauren McKinley, psychologist, randomly acquired not one, but two new clients of the superhero kind, because she was a little too curious to say no.

Mutants by sameuspegasus

All teachers dread parent-teacher night. This one's worse than usual.

Feat. Boundaries? I don't know this word. He's not my boyfriend! Flash Thompson's A+ parents Tony and Peter are enormous nerds Gym class is important Oh my God, what's that in the bio lab

IM Spotter by Gyptian

Floriana has headed up the IM Spotter club, New York branch for years, in a certain cafe with a very good view of Stark Tower. Never has she dreamed of having such a special guest, however.

Open for Business by @opal-earrings

Jake likes his night shift at the gas station in the middle of nowhere because nothing ever happens. The only reason he took the job is because nothing ever happens.

But then something actually does. A teenager comes in covered in blood and asking to use his phone, and somehow that’s not the strangest thing that's going to happen during his shift tonight.

research and disaster by blueh

The interns at Stark Industries have some questions about Peter Parker. The answers aren’t quite what they expect.

A Good Kid by kuragay

Ricky thinks that May's an exceptional woman, and he thinks that Peter's an exceptional kid. But there's no denying that the Parker household is full of mysteries, and most of them are centered around Peter and his supposed internship with Tony Stark.

“Is that a cat?” (no, it’s a kitten.) by zimnokurw

Mel, intern of Stark Industries founds a kitten, but if she wants to help her, she have to take Molly (yeah, so she named her already, problem?) to the company. But that's only four hours so nobody will even notice anything! Well, a kid noticed. And FRIDAY, and then Mr. Hogan and Dr. Stark. And suddenly she's screwed. Or is she?

When In Doubt, Blame Spider-Man by @ambivalentmarvel

Peter finds a ten-year-old friend out in the cold near his group home and decides to take action.

Peter Parker: Intern Cryptid by Karu_Ambrogio

The 5 college level interns, who actually interacted with Tony Stark himself on occasion, would be jealous of the 16 year old Peter Parker appearing from nowhere and being the obvious favorite if they weren't so busy being terrified by him.

Progress Report by sameuspegasus

Ms. Warren has some questions for Tony Stark regarding the exact nature of Peter's internship. She gets invited to the lab to see for herself.

Love, hate on by @madasthesea

She’d planned for this moment for two years, seven months, and eighteen days: As she’d stood above her daughter’s freshly dug grave, she’d decided that Tony Stark would die by her hand. And now was her moment.

She had only intended to grab Stark, tell him what he’d done that merited the punishment she was going to give, and kill him fast before anyone started looking. But here was this kid, an act of providence.

She didn’t have to tell Stark now, she could show him. She could make him suffer like she’d suffered, make him pay for his crimes. An eye for an eye, a child for a child.

Should’ve Stuck with Bed, Bath & Beyond by @whumphoarder

Having recently quit a high-stress job at the local ER, Patrick Carmichael—the rookie nurse at Midtown School of Science and Technology—is ready to settle into a nice quiet life of handing out band-aids and ice packs and collecting students’ mandatory sports physical forms.

Unfortunately, he's about to meet Peter Parker.

[ziracona]

Anytime I see the legion im picturing urs so now in a trial im like "fukn idiot loser babies" *pallet smacks*. Reading ur meta(is that the term??) on Julie just now I'm like. So mad for her!! Get them kids some therapy!! How could the adults in their lives let them get to such a shitty point.. >:( Also, another thought I had with Adiris. The buzzfeed video is more her holding a bunch of cats. Because the survivors are like herding cats. Chaos children they are (im looking at you meg.)

Hahdjsdk god what a mood. Every time I see an Anna I’m just like “!!! MOM?” And get a hatchet between the eyes rip. And yeah! Meta is right.

For real, for real. Julie and all the Legion kids had some real shit going on. Joey by far had the best home life and family, but even he had a bunch of struggles in school because his family didn’t have time or in many cases experience to help him study, and it was crowded and poor, and because he had no help most kids got, he got treated like he was stupider, and even when he had skills in other areas, everyone at school expected him to perform well at sports and not much else like that was fine & he was meant to be valuable exclusively as an athlete, when he much preferred and actually really liked things like shop and ceramics and building/making stuff. But most people treat trade classes like easy As dumb kids pick (back when shop was still a thing), and like it was a worthless skill, and like. That doesn’t sound as bad as like, being bounced through foster homes as Frank, but pain is relative, you know? Bad is just bad. And things grind on you. It was hard to be taught constantly he was only worth something as a skill he didn’t even really care about, and get treated like he was dumb just because he had less help built in to school than most kids there did. People don’t talk about this much but like, having parents or sibs who help with homework? It’s a huge factor. So is just having family who are college graduates (if you go to college), because first gen student means walking in blind & alone & accountable to no one but bills, and like, college is initially overwhelming with two parents with Masters who are helpful. Any time what you value about you and what you love doesn’t match up with what people who have more power than you tell you is valuable about you/should be your goal, it’s hard. Especially as a teen still trying to like hack out an identity. Overly enthusiastic and impulsive, and has been mocked and hurt and turned on for it, but can’t shut it off. Big heart, but the luck to stand up usually just in time to get laid flat again.

And then Susie, with the parents who don’t care for her or pay her much mind other than disappointed looks and an occasional snap or suggestion or urging to try something different that what she’s doing. Bullied for her sexuality, nervous, and in a small town in the late 90s, probably the only lesbian (at least that she’s aware of existing) in that entire like couple hundred people mountain town, and sort of unbearably alone and misunderstood and isolated feeling. God, feeling like there’s just no one like you are out there is one of the worst feelings, isn’t it? Buried in the things she knows people whisper about her and a thousand tiny microinteractions a day that drain her armor. Loves Julie, but is so isolated Julie is her entire world to an unhealthy, co-dependant, and worryingly usable/manipulatable and non-independent nature for Susie. Because she’s so desperate to keep her she’d do anything not to be alone. But the struggle to never be alone by chasing Julie’s shadow means there’s no time for Susie and her own hopes and dreams and choices and developing personhood. But the worst part is that she’s genuinely happy this way, trailing after the girl she loves, which makes it so hard for either of them to confront and stop even enough to just make it healthy again. But she’s built her whole identity on one person like a precarious janga tower that could fall any second if the wrong piece goes, and that can’t be sustained forever, and who is she when it does crumble?

Then you got Julie, hot, popular, ignored personality disorder, proud parents who want her to keep being ideal and their little princess, than can’t handle her as a teen when she’s not in the box they expected anymore and they can’t just live and be proud vicariously through her all the time. Hit puberty early & dated way too physically way too young with way too much older men. Hit on by teachers, by men three times her age in parking lots. Quickly taught it’s safer to say yes than no and sex and love are a battlefield where you use the other as a stepping stone & the trick is to manurver so you’re okay once it’s over and got something while it went on. Had fun being hot and physically developed young because she suddenly had admirers and people were nice, then realized way too late that it came with constantly being in danger and under pressure to keep performing sexiness, and there wasn’t a livable choice to back out and fail those expectations anymore & be okay in her social circles. Knows she’s not emotional or loving in the way her loved ones are distressed about it, but can’t tell why, and gives up trying to ‘fix it’ and just pretends she doesn’t care and leans into being the sexy bitch and the power that comes with it. Doesn’t even know who she is herself beneath any of the ways she lives anymore, maybe she just is the act, maybe that’s fine. Trusts no one and that’s fine it’s just smart. Caught between liking the power of sex and intelligence and coldness, and the emptiness of not really being somebody. Needs to be loved and idolised and eternally aware how much people would hate her for that if they knew it was the truth, so she just keeps it to herself and makes herself someone they have no choice but to love and adore, so it’ll all be okay. Caught between worried she is cold and unfeeling and selfish and proud, and liking the power that goes with that, and the lack of desire to change, and the fear she doesn’t know how to do it. So she mostly just doesn’t think about any of the turmoil anymore and lives Julie instead of being her.

Then you got Frank, tossed around a myriad of foster homes, stolen by the government from the only one he ever was loved in over race, abused in every way foster parents have learned to abuse the kids they were supposed to love, and convinced since he was a kid that he’s a bad seed and a monster at heart, until he leaned into the violence of that to protect himself when no one else did. Harsh and strong and a fighter, a survivor, lonely and a loner, too much past, no future, not much present. Angry, god, so angry, and nothing to do with it. No skills, or money, or future, or any of it. No love, no family. Just the things he taught himself to survive. Just a good liar, a good fighter, adaptable, fast, tactical, enduring. Knows how to pick locks and lift wallets and hoard food that is least likely to be noticed. How to vanish, how to look real scary and real big, how to get stabbed and get back up, and take a fall, and bide his time. How to find north. Which makes for a good what? A thug, a conman, a drug runner, a loan shark or a hitter or a bouncer maybe? A guard, a killer, a thief? No love, no ties, no one. And only a borrowed, angry, violent sense of self, and all the other versions that didn’t live to adulthood but aren’t quiet dead yet buried beneath it.

God, the opening line to the original lore for Darkness Among Us really was beautiful and memorable. The kind of first line you hope for. “Frank Morrison was ninteen, and had little to show for it.” Like, fuck. It’s so understated, and common, and painfully mundane, but that’s it, that’s his whole life. And how fucking painful that is. To be the end of teenagehood, stepping into adult life alone, and be able to be summed up in just eleven words, as a marker of your lived timespan up to now, and the annotation that you from all of it have gained almost nothing that could be worth any note. I fucking love that line. God. It’s so empty, and cruelly mundane and undramatic and unimportantly scored and marked, like it doesn’t even matter that he’s down nearly two decades of life with nothing worth taking into the next two.

Lord, all the Legion kids really do need help, and therapy, and like, one decent parental figure. Thank god for Jeff. He really is out here doing the real work. Love that man. TuT

And you’re right w Adiris lol. 🤣 It’s a mix of cats and dogs, magbe even. Some of them aren’t trouble, but oh, oh some most definitely are. Side note: I fkn just reallly love cats. Poor Adiris out here tryin her best, and I’m sure she does too.

[hello-robin-goodfellow]

Top Five Favorite Books

TAGGED BY: @hmmm-what-am-i-doing​

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

The other famous novel by Victor Hugo. Written in 1831, Notre-Dame de Paris, known in English as The Hunchback of Notre Dame, is a rich, meandering tale that addresses messy relationships, fate, and the future of architecture in 1482. The English title is a misnomer, since the protagonist of the story is Esmeralda, the original title being a metaphor on the cathedral who serves as the central location of the novel, and Esmeralda herself (though one could argue the cathedral is itself a character). Victor Hugo strongly protested against the English title, as it turns the focus from the cathedral onto the characters.

The hunchback is Quasimodo, the deaf, one-eyed, hunchbacked, monstrously ugly bell-ringer of Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris. Abandoned outside the church at the age of four, he was taken in out of kindness by the Archdeacon of Josas, Claude Frollo, who raised him in the church and introduced him to the bells. When the hitherto chaste Frollo sees the  romani girl Esmeralda dancing in the street one day, he finds himself stricken with lust, and doesn't know how to deal with it. So, sure as Love Makes You Evil, he grabs Quasimodo (for muscle) and tries to kidnap her. The attempt is foiled by Phoebus, Captain of the Archers. It is spectacularly not foiled by lovable slacker-poet Pierre Gringoire, who gets knocked out trying to save the girl.Later that night, however, Esmeralda temporarily marries the poet, to save his life from her friends at the Court of Miracles. That doesn't mean she's going to let her new "husband" touch her, mind you, or that she's going to give up her dreams of marrying Phoebus. Phoebus likes the look of her, himself, and although he's already engaged to his teenage cousin Fleur-de-Lys, he's not opposed to a bit on the side. Esmeralda's small kindness to Quasimodo when he is in the stocks for the kidnapping attempt (Frollo having let him take the fall) makes her an angel in Quasimodo's mind, and he is henceforth devoted to her. This eventually, and painfully, puts him in conflict with Frollo, whose combination of lust and loathing for Esmeralda makes him increasingly unstable. Amidst the drama and tragedy resulting from everybody's fatal obsessions, Hugo includes leisurely chapters on the architecture of Paris and the expected impact of the newly-developed printing press.

Frankenstein

Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus, usually abbreviated to Frankstein is a novel by Mary Shelley. It was originally published in 1818. It had a 1823 reprint without Shelley's involvement and a third edition in 1831, this time with significant edits from the author. Frankenstein is considered an Ur-Example of Science Fiction and inarguably has vast historical significance.

The novel tells of Dr. Victor Frankenstein who unlocks the secrets to Creating Life. He uses this knowledge to create an artificial man, larger and stronger than most mortals, by means which he chooses not to describe. While he is initially triumphant with his success, a few moments of observing the flailing and moaning patchwork being leaves Victor disgusted by and fearful of his creation. Realizing the ramifications of his success, he is horrified. He abandons the Creature and flees to his family's estate. In his absence, the Creature is forced to come to grips with suddenly finding itself alive and alone without explanation or guidance. He learns about humanity by watching a family cottage from afar, but is again driven off when he attempts to offer his friendship- one of many bad run-ins with humanity which leave the monster bitter and cynical. Eventually, the Creature comes to resent his creator, whom he views as his father, for abandoning the Creature to a life of torment, and decides to come home to seek vengeance against Frankenstein...

The subtitle, The Modern Prometheus, compares Victor Frankenstein to the Greek titan Prometheus, who brought the secret of fire from Mount Olympus to mortal men, reflecting on Frankenstein's spiritual would-be theft of the secret to creating life — but like Prometheus, Frankenstein also came to regret his transgression.note Many would say that Frankenstein was the ultimate warning of Science Is Bad, though similar stories were common throughout the industrial revolution and it is not even clear whether the act of creating the Monster was bad in itself, if the world wasn't ready for it, or Frankenstein was just a horrible and abusive parent.

One Hundred Years of Solitude

One Hundred Years of Solitude is a 1967 novel that won Gabriel García Márquez the Nobel Prize for Literature. It's become a staple of Spanish-speaking high school curricula everywhere.  Arguably one of the most important pieces of literature written in the 20th century, or to put in context, almost as important as Don Quixote to Spanish speaking literature. Famous, among other things, for using every conceivable trope one could ever hope to fit in 28.8 oz of paper.

The book follows the story of the Buendía family and the town they create, Macondo, from its foundation to its end. Of course, it is told in a non-linear fashion with every generation having the same few names, as well as the same basic attributes (except for a pair of twins whose names are thought to have been accidentally switched at some point). Alongside the story of the Buendía family, there are an abundance of vignettes recounting both the everyday and the supernatural occurrences that shape the lives of the inhabitants of Macondo. The themes range widely, incorporating legendary figures (such as the Wandering Jew), historical events (Sir Francis Drake’s bombing of Rioacha, the Massacre of the Banana growers), and short stories about the love of two minor characters who never get to interfere with the main action. Believe it or not the story takes place in a time span of a hundred years.

Netflix has announced that it will be adapting the story into a television series.

The Arabian Nights

The Arabian Nights, correctly known as The Tales of One Thousand and One Nights (Farsi Hezār-o yek šab, Arabic Kitāb 'alf layla wa-layla), is a massive collection of Fairy Tales drawn from sources as far apart as the Middle East, North Africa, India, and, to an extent, even China and Greece. It has for centuries shaped the European view of the [relative to Europe] "(Near) East" or "Orient", even though only some of the stories are widely known. In fact, early Arabic-language versions only contain about 300 nights. The 701 others were added later; most of the additions were by Arab writers, but European translators added some other folktales they'd collected in their editions. Some of these additions were based on other Arabian sources, but others, including Aladdin and Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, were stolen by Antoine Galland (the French translator) from Syrian Maronite writer Hanna Diyab, who recounted those tales to Galland and based them on various aspects of his own life. Diyab's autobiography was found in 1993 and greatly expanded our understanding of these stories.

The Framing  Device for the story cycle is the tale of King Shahryar and Shahrazad. The King's first wife had cheated on him, so he had her executed. Then, feeling that no woman could be trusted, he hit upon a plan only a powerful and insane tyrant could pull off: He'd marry a woman, spend the night with her, and then, in the morning, send her off to the royal Wazir (chancellor) to be executed. No woman would ever betray him again! After a great many wives were executed in this manner (Richard Burton's translation says the King did this for three years, which would be about 1,100 wives), the Wazir was running out of marriage prospects to present to the King. Then the Wazir's daughter, Shahrazad, came to him with a plan. Since her plan involved marrying the King, the Wazir objected in the strongest manner possible, but nothing would deter the girl, and finally he brought her to the King.

Come the wedding night, once he started putting the moves on her, she feigned becoming upset, and pleaded to see her younger sister one last time. The King acquiesced, and allowed Shahrazad's sister Dunyazad to stay in the room with them until dawn. Even while they consummated the marriage. Awkward. After that and the three of them went to sleep, the sisters woke up at midnight. Just as planned, Dunyazad asked Shahrazad to tell her a story, but by the morning she was not finished, and ended the story on a Cliffhanger. The awoken King was so hooked on the story that he postponed the execution for one night, in order to hear the rest. But after Scheherazade ended that story, it was still the middle of the night, and she started up another story, again ending on a cliffhanger in the morning. The nightly routine continued. Some of the stories were simple, some complex and multi-layered; sometimes a character in one story would begin to tell a second story, and sometimes the story was never actually ended because Scheherazade had gone on two or three layers and never returned to wrap up. Or sometimes she claimed she didn't know the ending, but had another tale that was even more intriguing than the unfinished one. But all of the stories were so compelling that the King could never bear to order her execution without hearing the ending. So Shahrazad kept up the stories for three years — in the meantime bearing Shahryar three sons — and finally, after 1,001 nights, she said that she had told all of her tales and was ready to die. But the King had fallen in love with her, and had been calmed by her entrancing stories. He declared that no woman in the kingdom was as wise as Shahrazad, and he made her his queen for keeps this time, and they lived Happily Ever After.

Unlike many legends which deal primarily with the deeds of the nobility (who after all were the ones who could afford to have a bard as a permanent resident at their palaces), Arabian Nights has the fascinating twist that it covers people from myriads of occupations in a highly-complex society.

The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana

A novel by Umberto Eco.

Yambo Bodoni has a problem. After suffering a stroke, he lost his episodic memory. Now he can't remember his name, family, or any aspects of his life. Thanks to a lifetime of work as an antiquarian book dealer in Milan, however, he can recall anything he's ever read. In order to rediscover his lost past, Yambo heads to his childhood hometown of Solara. As he pores through old newspapers, comics, and magazines, Yambo - and the reader - get glimpses into the often tragic and bittersweet reality of a boy coming of age in Italy during World War II.

[bigowlenergy]

Notes on Gender, Ethnicity, and Culture

At the heart of the etoneki conflict/drama is nothing more than culture clash.

Eto may be amazing at studying others and have replicated humanity well enough to be a respected author among humans without anyone finding any clues to her ghoul nature, not even Haise in RE: - but she is still someone who was raised by ghouls. Her base nature is as a ghoul, from the 24th ward specifically. Naturally, there’s going to be some confusion between her and Kaneki, who was raised by humans.

But that leaves the good good question of what those differences should be. Clearly, some should be tiny, but there NEED to be huge misunderstandings bc I live for that kind of drama. Also, it’s a slowburn, so. that’s how it is.

this is long, and tagged for spoilers for a good reason. nothing specific, but if u like being surprised by the plot in ur grapefruit, go no further as of chapter 5

1) Ghouls have ABO while humans do not. Sure, there was a decently long time where Kaneki lived among ghouls, but can u picture early chapter Touka willingly sitting him down and giving the birds and the bees and the grasshoppers and also the spiders Talk? I think not. Maybe Kouma? Itori would. Like, they’d both kill him dead with it, but they would. And knowing the contexts within another culture doesn’t mean that you have assimilated those words/concepts to your own yourself, or that you actually know every single social detail, especially as it applies to others.

...but Eto does. And human gender/sexuality is fairly simple on the whole, except when it isn’t, so she has a leg up on him there.

plus, the way I have the ABO structured, it makes a bit more sense for him to be less aware of it, since his gender, as perceived by ghouls, is the most privileged one. Especially since its associated with deliberate power gain, which he totally played into during the later half of the first TG, so it would be a natural assumption for ghouls to make that he understood that he was acting exactly as his gender is socially expected to. and in a way that would socially cement his powerful omega status.

Tsukiyama would totally say something about it, since with the whole affluent family thing he’d probably be very aware of gender and social dynamics, but anything shuu says can be followed by “and he called me a cabbage in French last week, so okay shuu, whatever poetics ‘omega’ means to u, go ahead, have your fun buddy.” Banjou, who was involved with Rize, would be too worried about offending him or making it embarrassing to say anything. and as a ghoul even lower than shuu, he’d be super conservative about getting up in an omega’s business. It would just be this ambiguous open secret that everyone but Kaneki is totally, painfully aware of. the gasmask trio find this hilarious. Hina is a wee bab whose parent was a doctor for ghouls, so she just accepts her big bro as is.

so there’s eto’s expectations to be basically an underling to someone powerful as a normal, comfortable relationship dynamic, pitted against kaneki’s human-embedded inclination toward monogamy and not something that feels like weird bdsm domination stuff. they each are expecting a certain treatment from one another, and not getting it. eto feels neglected, since he isn’t all in her business and allowing her to settle in the shadow of his power and just ride things out, and kaneki, with only human expectations for sex, gender, and whatever the hell just happened, expects the worst from her as the “““male”““ in the relationship who manipulated him.

the conflict is that neither happens.

all of the power is on his side of the court, but in human terms, it feels like the opposite - vis a vis, human misogyny and all the horrible expectations for a sex and reproduction based marriage system that go along with that.

which is why i’ve inverted all that to make myself feel better :)

2) i kicked knots out bc idk about that business, but there have to be other physical differences. there have to be, or its boring. and then again, since both are hybrids, what should either have?

i’ve decided eto will have all physical differences or a learned equivalent due to ghoul socialization, while kaneki should have none but whatever was forced on him through his kakuhou - ie, pheromone stuff, but nothing more.

ghouls can purr, bc i am weak to that shit. Kaneki is aware of this. it’s just a Thing that they do. he’s read to Hina and she’s fallen asleep purring before and it was adorable. irimi purrs very quietly when she cleans things. uta is a purr machine when he makes masks, and it knocks yomo out unless he’s drunk, then he just purrs like a truck engine from the floor near uta’s desk for three hours. touka hasn’t purred since ayato left

eto purrs when she’s satisfied with her writing flow, which is one of the main reasons she prefers to work alone in her apartment and keep shiono out. otherwise, she doesn’t mind company. she also purrs when happy, like most ghouls. kaneki does not. i can site Haise’s RC scan on this: since he never took damage to the throat, he never had a chance to heal ‘more ghoul’ in that area.

so the exchange of a happy eto, deeply content with their uneasy peace, purring to express such delight, meets a blank wall that doesn’t agree. her social expression of happiness clashes up against kaneki only maybe leaning toward physical affection and being quiet. he can understand that she is happy, and she can understand that he can’t respond in the same way, but the dynamics of their relationship make her doubt her actions and get instinctually afraid of doing something wrong and upsetting someone much more powerful than her who also decides if she is allowed to reproduce with him or not. and stops purring and gets unsettled. kaneki is only confused and maybe she doesn’t like being touched? time to touch less. oh no, she did do Something Wrong and now omega is mad at her!! interpersonal drama escalates on both sides >:3c

ghouls have great night vision. kaneki also does and you know why. youve read the series. full ghouls have tapetum lucidum in both eyes, but eto only has it in her single ghoul eye. her vision is unbalanced in the dark but due to her learning to compensate for the slight reduction in light capture on one side she gets by just fine. it also parallels nicely with arima’s poor eyesight and learning to compensate for it.

ghouls are crepuscular while humans are diurnal, but this doesn’t matter since neither of etoneki know what a sleep schedule is. and the 24th ward doesn’t experience day/night cycles, so they have their own issues with sleeping when safe, do not sleep when not safe.

ghouls tend toward pack structure, but not in a rigid way where there can only be one omega/powerful ghoul per unit. as long as everybody gets along personally, its fine. omega don’t see each other as competition. alpha toss themselves at their feet without prompting. they’re not a scarce resource. alpha don’t even really fight over omega unless completely affected by heat and rut cycles and unable to grasp the concept of maybe next time. but even that is rare, mostly only those who are jealous as a person attempt this. if alpha fight over an omega and one wins, the omega might just kill them for taking away some of their prospects, or might be impressed by the show of strength. or annoyed by it, bc they want weak underlings. depends on the person. (eto is more than a bit possessive, at least for his first heat.)

more on this point as i think of it.

3)  I haven’t specified kaneki’s personal gender identity for a reason. that reason is that i’m not sure what direction i want to go. this is strictly for maman, not Sugar, which is trans girl Sasako forever. for this piece of feti/sh garbage? whom knows! (I know. and until word of god says otherwise - i’m god - every character is trans.)

but really, there’s options. and i love them all.

A) kaneki was trans all along. hide is best bi bud. aunt was a bitch, but nothing worse than canon since he was closeted at the time, although he doubly prepared to never speak to her again. (true neutral)

B) woke up a ghoul and with new parts. why believe a species change but not a sex change, eh? heightens the early game confusion and search for id as a person whose major ids have changed against his will. (lawful neutral)

C) gradual transformation. like how he came into his strength as a ghoul slowly. read a doujin like this once. was okay. quality art, big titties, 8/10. ngl would read the sequel. (Perhaps I am writing the sequel? aren’t we all just chasing our Brands across the lonely internet, hopping from one computer virus to the next? maybe u die reading hentai, or u live long enough to see urself post to ao3.) (chaotic neutral)

D) heals himself a new set of parts due to intense damage. see the haise RC chart, which has a ton of pathways around the hips/torso area. parallels with cutting eto in half?? (also lawful neutral)

E) started happening as a transformation when eto’s pheromones triggered his heat cycle for the first time. boy would he be pissed at her X2 lmao (lawful evil)

F) transformation during #240 time due to losing all memory and only having instinct to structure his body with, and just enough RC pathways to make a hormone based transformation possible. Chiba would have had a field day, but also would have torn out his horrible bowl cut in confusion. get rekt bud. not even #240 knows wtf goin on (neutral evil)

G) maybe he just wanted a vag! thought about that?? learns he is supposed to be able to manipulate his flesh like his kagune, which he is canonically great at, and just Goes For It. it works. he is a strong, dependent idiot who don’t need no dick. (iconic)

H) same as above, but that’s just what Haise does when he has the reigns. looks deep into his pastless self and asks ‘do i have to put up with this cis nonsense? not today.’ (chaotic iconic)

I) it happens suddenly when he activates his kakuja for the first time. queer the monster transformation u wish to see in the world. just. so confused. but also there’s Guilt to be felt about banjou and amon and such, so that’s back burner. (chaotic evil)

okay, so in like fifteen minutes i was able to name 9 perfect opportunities for ishida to carry though the motif of 1)iding with female ghouls 2)paralleling with canon trans man mutsuki 3)litcherally having a female ghoul organ donation fiasco 4)being associated with vacillating between masculine yang and feminine yin black/white 5)having a narrative that revolved around accepting his body and learning to find his own strength and id that is different than what he was born with - but coward ishida stopped sixty miles short of the mark. fool. I Cannot Feast Upon Crumbs, Sir. Sir, You Have Given Me Airplane Peanuts For Supper. Sir, I Am Starving And Antagonistic At Best.

(i shouldn’t call him a coward. three huge series magically having the same Wife And Kids ending all during the time shinzou abe is in office? probably not a coincidence. hope they got a good payout for it. i’d sell out for that $$$ too tbh)

eto is just an alpha. her human social id is a Normal Human Female Who Is Totally Cis and Straight for maximum social acceptance and ease of integration, but that’s only her mask. her personal id is an alpha, which is cis by ghoul standards, and she uses she/her pronouns bc she feels like it. she has the power to id as above alpha, but she enjoys the social invisibility it gives her, since she can blend in the background whereever and noone looks at her presumably weak ass twice. like chie, but for nefarious purposes.

....does that make her the equivalent of a ghoul feminist? i’m getting Too Deep

4) the wards can be isolated and far apart, and its been explored in canon with the Three Blades family and the white suites - congrats u 2 - and ghoul organizations that have a home ward having distinct cultural differences from one another. small ethnic groups and isolated diaspora? natives? subset?? of whatever the 24th ward ghouls - sorry, tokyo humans - are.

this sort of thing is only tangentially related to kaneki. if someone with a texas accent teaches someone to speak english, that person will have that accent, whether they’v ever been to texas or not. so he has some of the social mannerisms of a 20th ward ghoul, but generally still has a lot of ingrained human attributes to confuse them.

5) i’m still fascinated by the half finished thought about there are just some ghouls who become binge eaters in canon. like Rize wasn’t special for it. I think shinohara mentioned this?? but. it makes sense. general food insecurity, lack of permanent social support, total oppression, absurd power levels, plenty of humans to take it out on...ye.

and kaneki has the kakuhou of an adult binge eater. there’s cool hints of the kakuhou being parasitic, so a mature one would def fall into the biological fulfillment of binge eating for strength and carry that genetic knowledge into a new host. and from there, it would induce cravings, serotonin reward systems, and all that good stuff to get what its come to like.... like, mayhaps, a cordycepts? ;)

well, i’ve put ‘binge eater’ down as just a general omega trait, since it feels authentic to do so, so we’ll see what i do with this in the future. i will also see, since i too am ignorant of my own self. what will my horny subconscious do next? i am usually the last to know.

anyway,

peace

[thehalfworld]

Fanfic MST: Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation of Edward Cullen, a Twilight fanfic [part 4]

I’m on a roll.

There’s more rape in this one; it’s not really described in detail, though. There are also references to what occurred in the last chapter, and an instance of mostly consensual sexual activity (although it stops short of actual sex).

Recap: Last chapter, Tiaa’s foster parents Dave and Marie left on a trip, leaving her in the care of “Uncle Larry” (Dave’s brother), who promptly began beating and raping Tiaa. After one such incident, she ran off into the woods and encountered a strange man who claimed to be her father before blacking out.

Chapter 1

Previous chapter

AN = No flames pls, theres no point!if u dnt like my story dnt read it, its as simple as that!

I never got the whole “don’t like, don’t read” thing. How can you know if you like it if you haven’t read it?

btw atlantiana is NOT marisue be cause look she is NOT perfect and not everyone in the stiry likes her! she has problems and she has flaws and shes UNHAPPY would u like her life?i no i wouldnt, its totally tragic and horible.u flamers arent even makin sense1

Having bad things happen to your character doesn’t make her less of a Mary Sue. Loads of Sues have tragic backstories. Look at Batman.

Chapter 4 - la push

I sat quitely on the la push beech apart form the party that was going on beside me. Mike Nooton was following me round like a pulpy and he was so borin! None of the things he had to say were interesting but I was nice to him because he wasnt a bad guy.

That’s actually pretty in-character for the guy, if I remember the Twilight Saga correctly. He’s nice, but not very interesting. I think Bella even made the puppy comparison at one point.

My thoughts were elsewhere - i could'nt stop thinking about the events of last night, when uncle larry had raped me and I had had my scary vision in the forest and a tall p[ale guy in my mind had cale me his daughter. I didnt understand any of I felt so so awful that I had been rapped by that hideous pervy SICKO when I had bin saving myself for the right guy and for marriage and my virginity was torn from my grasp by that twisted guy, it was so crule and unfair, it made me want to cry

So uh… what happened after she blacked out in the woods? Was her dad gone when she woke up? Did Uncle Larry do anything else to her after she returned home? Did she return home?

"omg MIKE watt are you doing talkin to HER?" I turned round and saw four nasty faces learing at us. It was the chearleaders I had seen in the cafetearia, and one of them was the girl dateing Ewdard Cullen, the brown hare girl who was standing at the back looking moody but not saying anything

You know her name! You’ve called her by name before!

"Stop being mean Jessica" mike said angerly "tiaas' awesome and if you can't see that its just you bein blind and shallow and stupid like your all ways are"

Think this is the author calling out her flamers or what?

"yah I mean look at her clothes, she looks like a stupid goth biaach with her slutty top and short skirt and fithnet tights is she a RAT HOOKER or what?" Jessica screamed.

Man, I love this fic. “RAT HOOKER” is a great insult.

She was realy ugly when she shouted even though she was technology a hot chick and was dressed in skimpy pink clothes.

I don’t remember Jessica that well from the books, but I think she was described as short and a chatterbox. I don't think she was a cheerleader or had a particular fondness for pink. Also she was dating Mike at one point after Bella set them up with each other.

"you no what Jess, you and YOur frends are SO shallow and YOU are the real slut! you and bella and angela and laruen may were short skirts and low cut tops an stuff but that doesnt maek u beautiful! Its watt underneath that counts!" mike shouted

Wait, so are they sluts because they wear revealing clothes or because of their behavior? Because right here it seems like Mike is criticizing them based on how they dress, which is a bit weird when we remember Tiaa also wears revealing clothing (“fishnet top” ring a bell?).

"yah, speakin of witch" said a sly blond girl in the gang who was called lauren, pointing at me "watts with her breasts, they are huge, I bet they are fake!- she laughed and her friends all laughed too even bella and angela who had been quiet until then.

I don’t remember a damn thing about Lauren or Angela but I remember they both existed. One of them was definitely shy but I don’t remember which.

I got up and pushed past them and ran away into the darkness. I cold hear them all laughing at me and i felt so embarrased I was relay sensitive about the waste I looked I hated the fact that it made all girls hate me and all guys stare at me, I would have given anything to be ugly or just inviable. I wasnt stuck up and didnt think I was beta than anyone else because of how I looked I just wanted people to treat me like a normal person! I could'nt help being slim and blond with relay big boobs it wasnt my fault I hadnt done anything wrong!

Remember in chapter 1 when Tiaa talked about how she used to be self-conscious about her appearance but got over it and now doesn’t care what people say about her?

-are u ok?" said someone from beside me

If you don’t have that MCR song playing in your head right now I don’t know what’s wrong with you.

"who arr you?" i asked. 3 realy pretty goth girls were standing there smilin at me and I smiled back

Oh, of course, the Sue’s backup choir.

-we are tyffani, abigaille and rochelle" they said smiling "you seem cool, do you want to be our freinds?"

I like the idea that Tiaa could be multiple friends.

Judging from the names, these three are children of that white mom whose baby name photo went viral on the internet. The one who named her kid Lakynn or something.

"ya of course, i'm just a bit meloncolly cause those horrible chearleaders were bein mean jerks and saying my boobs were fake" i said

"omg, u mean jessica and bellas gang? They hate us too because we dont care what they think" said tyfanni "they are just jealous cause youre the prettiest girl in the school now and theyre all plain next to you but we dont care about stuff like that, we only care about peoples personalities “

“That’s why we made sure to talk about how pretty we think you are.”

"cool" I said, and we talked for hours

I talked to tyfanni, rochelle and abigail for hours and they were so cool.

How long was that again?

I'd never had proper freinds before who didnt care watt i looked like or where I came from they just liked me for me, and I liked them cause they were uber cool and we had loads of stuff in common! But after a while they all went home and I stayed on the beech.

Glad we skipped the scene where Tiaa has fun with her friends so that we can get back to the part where Uncle Larry assaults her again. Nice to see the author prioritizing.

It was getting late but I didnt want to go home to uncle larry in case he raped me on his car again.

Phrasing seems to imply that if he raped her in a different location it would be alright.

Soddenly I heard a voice from behind me.

I hope “soddenly” is an intentional double entendre.

"well tiaa, thou seem to be causing quite a stir at school" his voice was smooth and sexoy and from another time.

Who could this be?

Edward.

Never would have guessed!

"what do you mean!" I demanded

"basically every gay at school wants to have sex with thee, and every girl wants to eat thee alive for it, hows that for causing a stir my lady?" he smiled and kissed my neck.

Wait, every gay at school? Including the gay boys? This girl is powerful.

"shut up jerk! Btw I met youre girlfriend before, bella I think her name is! I dont like her or anything, but how the hell can u cheat on her like that and kiss me how u did? Its sick ur a cheatin bastard and i should tell everyone. Tyfanni told me you and bella are like the schools golden couple or something, watt would happen if I told ppl how you had acted in that corridoor with me?"

Uh… the fic would go in a direction I don’t expect it to and it might be redeemed somewhat by at least being less predictable?

"OMG SWEET LADY! THY MUST NOT TELL ANYONE! " he screamed "it was a moment of madness thats all! Im so so sorry for watt happened,i hope thine can forgive me, but ive promised myself to bella and thats just how it is, no matter how much thou intrests me"

Use of OMG may seem anachronistic, but that abbreviation has actually been in use since the early 1900s, so it’s totally reasonable that Edward might use it. Although probably not out loud.

"fine, then stay away from me " I shouted as I left to go home but he followed me and grabbed me and pushed me down on the grind.

I think he’s sending mixed signals.

I was burning with anger and fury but I wanted him so deafly i didnt even try to resist him.

So deafly?

He new how much i wanted him and it drove me mad. He put his hands inside my panties and i gasped. I was soddenly desperate to sex with him and i tore my clothes off and i was in my underwear.

Again, I hope that’s innuendo, but in this fic it’s actually possible the author thinks “suddenly” is spelled like that.

I took off my bra and showed him my naked heaving beasts.

Nothing turns a guy on like naked heaving beasts!

"have sex with me now edward " I whispered

" i cant " he said, although his body was on top of mine and his fingers touched my nipples

"please, i'm begging you" I said, hating myself for being such a dirty hore but unable to control my burning desire

No one in this fic has any self-control whatsoever, huh?

-NOOOO!" he shouted and ran away crying.

I put my clothes back on slowly feeling so ashamed and embarased i could hardly move. I could'nt beleive i had begged him to do sex on me and even worse he had said no!

Okay, I guess Edward has a tiny bit of self-control. Which is good, as he is a vampire and would probably be eating people left and right if he was totally unable to control himself.

I went home and uncle larry made me cook his dinner and suck his cock while he ate his food and then he raped me and hit me with a shoe all night and i didnt even complain cos i felt like i deserved it for being such a horrible slut even though it made me want to die inside.

Bread, eggs, milk, squick. Uncle Larry seems more interested in hitting Tiaa than raping her, incidentally.

Uncle larry finally left me alone and I thought about killing myself as i cryed and cryed as i fell slowly into a dreamless sleep.

Aw.

Next chapter

[iliyovunjika]

12, 13, 20

@haxuss | THIS GOT DEEP REALLY QUICKLY Development questions ;;

12. How are they bodily expressive? How do they use nonverbal cues such as their posture, stance, eyes, eyebrows, mouths, and hands? 

Shiro has a touching habit. Although he doesn’t like to touch others with his prosthetic, he doesn’t really hesitate to either when there’s no reason to. (Like say if he were injured or the prosthetic was damaged some how, he’d absolutely refuse to do so out of fear for emotive reaction being too high.) His non-verbal ways of concern, showing he’s proud or that he supports someone, is by putting his hand on their shoulder. When he’s worried he gets a little crease in his brow and narrows his eyes a bit, frowning rather than that smile he wears all the time. When he’s not sure what to say or do when something’s going on, he tends to cross his arms and look down because he’s thinking rather hard and focusing on a spot in the floor helps keep to that thought.

There’s a lot of things he does body wise when it comes to expression. Tapping his fingers against his leg will show he’s either anxious or too deep in thought, because this is him tapping out scales or rhythms that calm him down or that he’s habitually gotten into tapping out. Posture wise, he’s just as expressive. When he’s standing there’s three things to tell. If he has his arms crossed and his features seem pensive, he’s either listening hard and seriously or he’s getting irritated (Though to tell if its one or the other, irritation is followed by an even sharper glare.) If he’s standing still with his arms relaxed at his side and his shoulders dropped a bit, he’s actually rather relaxed and simply observing. However, if he’s tensely standing in place and then pacing a bit with his posture rigid, he’s anxious or angry and generally those two go hand in hand for him because its a rarity outside of war council or the battlefield.

One thing to pay mind to mostly is how he’s sitting half the time. If he’s asleep, he’ll likely be sitting upright with his eyes closed and his arms and legs crossed while he leans back against a wall. Most often this is confused for him simply relaxing but really, boy’s tryin’a catch some quick z’s ‘cause gods know he doesn’t sleep enough on a regular time scale. He doesn’t sit often, more akin to walking around, keeping busy, training, or just standing. So the key notes where he’s concerned is to pay attention to his expression. He’ll scowl when he’s having flash backs, brows furrowed and features tense with his hands clenching tightly to his biceps. If he’s in deep thought and sorrowful, he’ll tend to actually let his head drop forward so people think he’s asleep since he’ll keep his eyes closed 80% of the time and only tends to stare at his lap when its something really heart aching because closing his eyes just makes it worse. He’ll just appear relaxed in that case.

Point is, Shiro is actually really expressive in body language rather than verbally. He may not say anything at all but if one knows him extremely well, picking up on these things isn’t hard to do.

13. How do they greet the world — what is their typical attitude towards life? How does it differ in different circumstances, or towards different subjects? Why do they take these attitudes, and why do they change? How do these tend to be expressed? 

Which world? Seriously though, he actually has an optimistic meets realism type look towards the universe. Realistically he wakes up ready for anything, alarmingly alert and always at the ready for what ever may happen. Optimistically, he looks forward to each day he knows that he’s alive and everyone around him is safe. So long as they’re alright, he has an optimistic view. However, when they’re injured, he tends to damn the universe a little while damning himself more. The circumstances are as they are and he has to do all he can to help. That’s how it is to him. He’s incredibly blunt and doesn’t try to sugarcoat the reality he exists in. He doesn’t overlook it but he’s not going to let it stop him because he’s hopeful. After all the universe has done to him one would expect him to have a rather poor view of it but in reality he’s geared up and ready for a fight. He takes on this attitude because if he doesn’t, he knows he wouldn’t be able to fight with them. If he let the universe beat him down and keep him down, he wouldn’t be able to serve as any help at all to them.

On the days when he’s cursing the universe, he’s not pessimistic but he’s not optimistic either. Rather he’s incredibly realistic and logical. When he’s gearing up for a brawl against it and ready to face what ever’s thrown at him, he’s optimistic but keeps a level head and a lot of hope to back his courage in taking a step out of his quarters. In all reality he’s a bit skewed at times and the reason that is is because some days are worse than others and sometimes the horrors that haunt him are more vivid, leaving him with a bitter taste and a brutal visage to face. As for how they’re expressed-- On the good days, he’s training hard and has a lighter step. He’s more active in conversation and keen on the draw with picking things up. On the bad days, he’s training way too much and distracted, overlooking things and not keen on conversing much. The last view is apathy, one he loathes the most. Where he doesn’t care about anything. These are the worst days for him, when he’s suffered so much in a single setting that he’s having a hard time processing it. This shows because he’s not there. He won’t even leave his quarters unless its an emergency. However, getting him out of that apathetic stage is as simple as talking to him despite his wanting to not crawl out of his room. Doing so often reminds him that he has reasons beyond the agony to get up.

20. What kind of individual relationships do they have with others, and how do they behave in them? How are they different between intimate relationships like friends, family, and lovers versus more impersonal relationships?

Protective on all relationships okay, just. Super protective. To the highest power will fight anyone who raises a hand to you.

Strangers: Kind, polite, helpful, always smiling and being supportive if they’re sad. Legit, could not know your name and Shiro will literally be your best friend in a sense of being supportive if he thinks you’re sad. And gods forbid you be a child because then hey you’ve been adopted come with Uncle Not-Bucky and he’ll find your parents or guardian or take care of you in general if you don’t have a guardian. Gotta go fight a war? Stay with grandma Hoshiko and he’ll be back asap.

Friends: Super supportive and always there, never turns a blind eye to you what so ever when he’s in the room, always being attentive to your expressions and how you’re acting to make sure you’re okay, will tell you about times he’s royally fucked up to make you realize everyone can mess up sometimes and its alright to do so, will also tell you crazy stories about school where he ended up in a Jam™ and had to hide from the corporal in a broom closet on a shelf, more open with you than he would be with others at times but not really a whole lot, laughs a lot with you okay like legitimately will laugh genuinely with you not this under the breath chuckle shit he does with strangers.

Close Friends: Supportive? Hah! He’s NEXT LEVEL™ ‘I’m here for you and you are literal sunshine’ to you if you’re a close friend. Is SUPER attentive to you and your needs and will always notice when you’re down or even if you’re just thinkin’ somethin’ weird ‘cause he’s all about those little micro expressions. Will tell you all the embarrassing stories to make you laugh okay literally will not hesitate to tell you about the time he crashed a test ship and crawled out of it while smiling awkwardly at the general like ‘I’m so sorry’ yeah buddy ur def sorry for crashing a multi-million dollar aerial ship. Is more physically adept towards you, will hug you and will even let you sleep in his bed if you’re having trouble sleeping, will even give you forehead kisses and tell you what a good job you’re doing???? LOVES YOU GREATLY???? Srsly don’t even question it. He’s not TOTALLY physical with even close friends but there are definitely some differences here.

Romantic: I’m sorry did u mean ‘I will fucking fight anyone who tells you that you can’t do something’ supportive? ‘Cause that’s this man right here. Super awkward?? Like hold his hand and his ears suddenly turn red?? Hug him and he’s internally screaming?? KISS HIM AND HE’S DOWN FOR THE COUNT??? He’s not used to romanticism anymore. He doesn’t know how to deal with it anymore. He’s literally just a fish out of water awkward and just Trying his Best™. He doesn’t feel he deserves romanticism? Won’t easily fall into it in all reality and is actually kind of “AVERT YE EYES” towards it if he realizes he’s got the beginnings of a crush at all. Simply because he doesn’t feel he can divulge in such things?? But if you do manage to get him he is literally BEST AND WORST BOYFRIEND™ Best because: Always there, always supportive, will listen to you, pays attention to you and everything you like/dislike, tries to learn everything he can about you ‘cause he wants to know and gods he adores you so much?? Just let him love you?? Always keen on doing surprise things for you?? Will let you sleep in his lap while he works on data logging?? LETS YOU PLAY WITH HIS MECHANICAL FINGERS ‘CAUSE HE TRUSTS U SO MUCH AND IS CONFIDENT IN HIS OWN ABILITY NOT TO HURT YOU??

Worst because: Always worries about hugging you too hard or maybe hurting you at all by accident, has really bad episodes that are potentially dangerous which ends up with him a mess if he ever accidentally hurts you, will not stop telling you how much he cares about you, has to leave you to go fight aliens (unless you’re up there with him lbr), is constantly awake?? Like boy doesn’t sleep half the time and when he does its hardly with you unless he’s THAT tired?? Will only actually sleep willingly by you if he’s absolutely certain he’s not going to wake up swinging?? Probably gives you too much space ‘cause he’s worried about smothering?? Doesn’t trust himself at all.

Individual specific: Well that obviously depends on the individual themselves but he’s always trying to learn about other people and their culture, their ways, what they like and dislike, what they don’t want him to do and what’s potentially awful for him to do and what they like him doing. If he fucks up he’s always ready to apologize and explain himself, listen and learn from that mistake to make it up to them and not repeat it. For example, his relationship with Haxus started off AWFULLY lbr. I mean, boy they were SNIDE with each other okay he had absolutely NO filter but when he realized there was a lot more to it he sat down and listened to him. Like, he’s not going to care if you’re a 7ft alien alright he’s going to listen to you and do his best to try to understand. There’s things he CAN’T understand though and he knows that but he is all for trying to learn either way and if he can’t even still he’ll do his best to avoid potentially making things worse. Where it concerns individuals themselves he is a lot more personally adept to THEM. What he applies to another person doesn’t apply to them and he won’t ever cross the paths of that at all if he can help it.

He’ll make comparisons at times in order to understand better like saying ‘Okay so you hunt live animals and bring them back alive. That’s like so and so in this region of Earth’ but he’s not saying they’re exactly alike, he just makes the comparison to get a better grasp on things.

The differences between all these are pretty clear in a sense of how intimate he can be in closer relationships and how withheld he is in impersonal ones. He’s doing his best and sometimes he fails horribly but he tries again to learn better and do what he can.

[leaughrilke]

Now that we know how they react with Kara getting hurt any head cannons on how the kids act when Lena gets hurt or is in danger? Do they have any concept of how many threats arise because of her family name or has enough time passed since Lex that it's just a bad memory?

so this ask sort of goes hand in hand with this other one i received so i sort of split the long answer between the two!!  i’ll link it for ya babes, enjoy the angst and the superbabies Constantly Worrying abt their human mommy

so like??  if u think the kiddos react poorly when its kara that’s hurt, i need ya to remember that they’re still pretty confident that kara will always walk away from a fight in one piece.  like she might get hurt??  but they (perhaps a lil naively) dont think that kara’s rlly ever going to be Hurt.  like they’re terrified in the moment, but it doesn’t like??  stick i guess??  i guess it’s sort of like…….she’s a superhero, danger sort of comes with it and kara’s careful and she’s like???  invincible??  one time stella gets rlly scared for her, so maia gets the idea to prove that they cant get hurt and bends like all of the kitchen knives trying to stab her hand so like…thats what’s in the kiddos’ heads when kara goes off to save the city/world.  bent kitchen knives and stella’s laughter and maia’s grin and finn rolling his eyes but going alone with it, holding his hand over open flame to prove he can’t get burned

but lena??  lena is terrifyingly human.  lena can burn and bruise and bleed and each kiddo has their own relationship to that, like finn cries and frets and maia seethes and rages and stella worries and plans (mind u, stella probably is the most……not ok with it, but she’s the most comfortable with lena’s vulnerability if only bc she’s just as vulnerable, often has a similar target on her back from lex/lillian bc she’s the most easily hurt of the kiddos??)

god they dont handle lena being in danger well At All and they handle her being hurt even worse, bc like??  she doesn’t heal as fast as kara, she heals at a human rate and there’s no magic sun lamp to make her all better

like when the kiddos are p young (like finn’s eleven or so) lena gets in a minor car accident and breaks her wrist and they all sort of freak the fuck out and that first day after she’s released from the er, she’s taking pain killers and is sort of just lazing around and taking it easy and the kiddos wont leave her side, like kara runs out to pick up dinner and the kids r sort of hovering around lena, pretending like theyre doing their own things, but when she comes back, they’ve all just cuddled up to her on the couch and maia’s carefully painting the nails on lena’s injured hand and stella’s fallen asleep on lena’s lap and finn’s tucked up against lena’s good side and they dont rlly move for the rest of the night tbh

i would say they have a p good grasp of the sort of threats against lena, like they grew up knowing how to behave in panic rooms and learned several emergency drills as part of their routine and saw lena hurt, threatened more times than they’d ever like to remember.  they react as well as can be expected from kids in that sort of situation, and it helps a lot that their moms r so good and rlly work to make sure they feel safe as much as possible and try and assure them as best they can

but like??  they’re all so protective of lena, they rlly are, and unfortunately they have good reason to be.  she’s on several ppl’s shit list tbh, and there are a fair few attempts on her life within the kids’ memories, like stella was there for several just bc she generally spends more time around lena and every single time resulted in her refusing to leave lena’s side for weeks after the fact.  she just Will Not, like when she’s older and has to go to school, she is just constantly texting lena and like normally lena would tell her to stop, she needs to pay attention in class, but she also saw stella all but wailing in kara’s arms when lena got loaded into the ambulance so maybe she writes a note for stella’s teachers asking that they excuse her texting for a couple weeks

woo that got Dark

finn like…..idk its not like he feels like As the Man of the House he needs to protect all the girls in his life bc thats ridiculous and ignores their agency and his mamas raised him right, but he grew up watching kara protect their family, their city, the earth and he carries those instincts rlly deep in him and like he worries abt everyone, he’s such a worrier, but its different for maia and for kara and its even different for stella, bc stella at least has powers, can sense things, but lena is???  completely human????  

and the first time he’s fully aware of this is when he’s three and his little sister is still so small and round and giggly and he had a stomach ache so lena calls out from work, tells jess to push her meetings so she can stay home and she’s put maia down for a nap and is coming in to check on him when he hears her scream from down the hall and like??  u know how little kids dont necessarily know when bad shits going down, but they Know??  well he knows.  

so finn forgets all abt how his tummy hurts and runs as fast as he can and he’s rounding the hall just as kara barrels through a window, shoves him into the bathroom and pulls the door closed, but he saw lena on the floor, face twisted in pain with blood at her temple, oozing sluggishly from her shoulder and down her arm, saw the masked man that stood over her

he doesnt rlly ever forget that.  the memory fades a little, dulls over time, but he has a lot of nightmares abt it, can’t completely put it behind him bc it was the first time he realized his mommy wasnt the same as his mama, wasnt as strong, wasnt as safe

it’s rlly bad for almost half a year after that, like he has nightmares more often than he doesnt and ends up in kara and lena’s bed most nights after waking up sobbing

when he gets older he sort of??  he doesn’t outgrow that bone deep fear, but it gets channeled into different avenues i guess

the first time maia ever has to confront that shit, she’s eight and its the assassination attempt from sun is gonna shine above and she’s never??  realized???  like she saw lena with a broken wrist and she’s seen her sick and so on and so forth so she’s got a grasp on the fact that lena’s human, not quite so invulnerable, but she’s never rlly understood what the consequences of that might mean??  but then they’re all sprawled on the floor of the deo and finn’s wailing into kara’s arms abt how he thought they were dead and she looks at lena and she looks at stella and she looks at kara and she’s terrified suddenly and she starts to cry and it all becomes a blur after that but then it’s a couple weeks later and she’s finally processed a little and she sort of scares her moms bc she crawls into their bed one night very late and asks very seriously if lena’s going to die

and like???  shit what are you supposed to say when your eight year old asks if you’re going to die???  jesus, there was no chapter abt this in literally any parenting book either of them have ever read

they explain it as best they can, that there are some very bad people in the world and they dont like lena very much and sometimes they want to hurt lena, but kara’s quick to remind maia that they’re all very safe and that she and aunt alex and uncle james and everyone at the deo work rlly hard to make sure they all stay safe but maia’s sort of changed after that??

and like…..her anger isnt from this one flashpoint alone, but it is a launching point.  like??  her mom is so kind and loving and soft, why would anyone want to hurt her??  why should the world allow her to get hurt???  it’s not fair.  so maia gets angry and she stays angry and she takes it out on bad ppl that hurt her family, takes it out on bad ppl that try to hurt lena and the difference btwn how she reacts with kara and how she reacts with lena is that she never, never says a word of it to lena, she refuses, bc if she does that, she’s admitting she’s scared that lena’s going to get taken from them, she’s admitting that lena’s human, that she’s mortal, that she can bleed and die and maia’s not willing to admit that

stella is probably the kiddo that never rlly has the realization bc its so ingrained in her like and i dont mean this in a bad way but there’s this understanding that where kara and finn and maia are alike, stella and lena are alike and stella understands that she’s not as strong as her siblings so it makes sense that lena’s not as strong as them either, u know??  it doesnt come as a surprise or anything and her powers mean that the threats to her mother dont come as a surprise either, bc by the time she’s registered what those threats rlly mean, she’s already been living with the reality of them for years

and ive said this a bunch but stella responds by becoming lena’s shadow tbh, she just sticks even closer to her mom and freaks out when she can’t bc she feels rlly powerless???  she cant help kara, but that makes sense, bc stella’s not the same as kara??  but she’s like lena and she can’t help her either, so what good is she to anyone, what use is she, how does she deserve her mothers

and to be fair, most of these feelings arent hers alone, bc when she gets sad or angry or hurts, its a lot easier for her to sort of take on negative emotions from the rest of the world, so it sort of spirals but that is the reality of it, she’s sad and she’s scared and she refuses to let lena out of her sight every time lena gets threatened or hurt

THERES UR DAILY DOSE OF SUPERBABIES ANGST, UR WELCOME