#Evil Beagle Games

[snespeaknoevil]

[the-grubdog]

Heritage Theory is Canon

I rise back from the dead (read: college kicking my ass) to say that MY THEORY WAS JUST CONFIRMED CANON. Look at the Japanese website:

Image transcript: The ruins and treasures of this planet, although different in size, are somehow similar to those we know, and sometimes even feel nostalgic. According to "The Shepard Complete History" written by the successive rescue team captains, the ancestors of the Kagiya [Giya] planet came from a "beautiful blue planet". If that was the planet PNF-404, we may have returned to our mother planet after a long time.

I WAS LITERALLY WORKING ON AN UPDATED VERSION OF MY THEORY POST WHEN THIS WAS POSTED.

I WAS RIGHT YA'LL.

I don't think I'll upload that updated version of the post, as it is (a) mostly unfinished and (b) kinda pointless now! Just know that evidence also comes from (all in Pikmin 4/related material):

Other parts of this same site

Olimar's notes on the Buddy Display, Heroic Shield, and Memory Fragment (Center Right)

A conversation you can have with Olimar post-final boss fight

Olimar's notes on the final boss

The Shepherd Family history

Also I want to share some more lore this site brings up. Because it also gives us some juicy Wraith Lore(tm) and some possible explanations for why some ships crash and others don't.

ALSO ALSO: This is all machine translated. If anyone has a human translated version, or is interested in making one, PLEASE let me know so I can reference it instead!

Image transcript: Consideration 1, small size, it doesn't have the engine power to escape the planet. Consideration 2, entering at a high speed, like a shooting star, it crashed into the planet at high speed.

Basically, the S.S. Beagle is small and entered at a high enough speed to escape the planet's grasp.

Image transcript: Unlike the space-time of the universe we know, it is believed that each time the stranded person observes the planet, it transitions to a different phase. The changes are so great that it's as if the planet itself has a will of its own.

This comes after a long description of how the planet changes every game. Just for further context.

Image transcript (with an error fixed for readability): Pikmin are always found near those lost in distress. They are friendly and devoted partners who cooperate with us to achieve our goals. However, isn't this a little too convenient? If the Pikmin are calling for a good leader to ensure the survival of their species and are preventing us from returning, it would be better to think that we are the ones being used. It falls into this category.

I don't think pikmin are evil, FAR from it... but they are still animals, animals that act to survive. You know? If pikmin ARE crashing the ships, then it's no more evil then how bulborbs eat pikmin to survive. Those are my two cents anyways.

Image transcript: According to Olimar, while inside the Amenyudo's [Plasm Wraith's] body, he dreamed of "giant humans similar to ourselves living with Pikmin and lots of other creatures." In addition, the roller-shaped stones of the Amebouzu [Water Wraith] have been found to contain minerals found in meteorites, which may suggest that they may be involved in the crash of the Dolphin. Perhaps they are dreaming of living with humans again and are causing the spaceship to crash?

WRAITH LORE. Also, note the translation of "human". There's a word on the site that the characters use to refer to themselves collectively, which the machine translator translates as "human". Based on me looking the word up on Jisho, an English-Japanese dictionary, this appears to be correct. However, as I don't know Japanese yet, I'll also clarify that "people" might also be a valid translation.

Anyways. Humans once lived with these weird creatures, wraiths and pikmin included. The wraiths missed us. Please ignore how they're also homicidal towards the starfolk.

Image transcript: One theory is that the planet meets the definition of a living organism, meaning that it is somehow beckoning us to it, and that everything we experience here is being orchestrated.

Planet is alive.

I have no idea how else to end this off.

But the planet is alive.

And it wants us back.

[scottpetersen]

What I Think Certain DuckTales (2017) Characters Might Like To Do On Halloween

Ok. Here I’ll be going over my thoughts on what certain DuckTales (2017) characters might think of Halloween. Also, Spoiler Alert for the DuckTales (2017) TV series. With that out of the way, let’s dive right in.

As shown in the episode ‘The Golden Lagoon Of White Agony Plains!’, Goldie O’Gilt has a passion for stealing and conning. So, when it comes to Halloween, I think that Goldie would be in it for the tricks rather than the treats. Goldie might even see Halloween as a good time to exercise and further practice her skills as a thief. Goldie might even call Halloween “a night of cons”. Also, as shown in the episode ‘Happy Birthday Doofus Drake!’, Goldie took Louie Duck under her wing to teach him how to be a better con artist and also formed a bond with him. So, I also think that Goldie might also try to take Louie trick-or-treating and teach him how to con people to take their candy in order to further train him to be a con artist. One of the things that I think Goldie and Louie might do is crash a Halloween party where there’s a game that will decide which guest gets the most candy. They might use their skills as con artists to rig the game in their favor. As for what Goldie might dress up as for Halloween, I think that Goldie might dress up as a thief or as a secret agent. The reason why I think Goldie might dress up as a thief is because, as I said earlier, Goldie has a passion for stealing. And the reason why I think that Goldie might dress up as a secret agent is because secret agents use subterfuge as a weapon and, as shown in the episode ‘The Golden Lagoon Of White Agony Plains!’, using subterfuge is what Goldie is all about.

As shown in the episode ‘The Beagle Birthday Breakout!’, Lena Sabrewing can be quite clever and also mischievous to the point that she crashed Ma Beagle’s birthday party and was able to help outmaneuver the Beagle Boys. So, I think that what Lena might have in mind for a fun Halloween night would be to pull some spooky pranks to scare the likes of Flintheart Glomgold and Mark Beaks. After all, as also shown in the episode ‘The Beagle Birthday Breakout!’, Lena seemed to be enjoying herself quite a bit after she pulled tricks on villains like Ma Beagle and the Beagle Boys by throwing Ma Beagle’s birthday cake at her and after she and Webby outsmarted the Beagle Boys for a bit. And since, as shown in the episode ‘GlomTales!’, both Flintheart Glomgold and Mark Beaks are also villains, that makes me think that Lena would really enjoy pulling pranks on the likes of Flintheart Glomgold and Mark Beaks. Here are the kinds of pranks that I think Lena might pull on Flintheart Glomgold and Mark Beaks. Since, as also shown in the episode ‘GlomTales!’, Flintheart Glomgold really wants to take down Scrooge McDuck, Lena might try something on Glomgold like using her magic to create ghost-like illusions of Scrooge McDuck mocking him. And since, as shown in the episode ‘The Infernal Internship Of Mark Beaks!’, Mark Beaks really loves his phone, Lena might try something on Mark Beaks like using her magic to create an illusion that will trick him into thinking that his phone is haunted by a ghost. As for what Lena might dress up as for Halloween, I think that Lena might dress up as a good witch. After all, as shown in the episode ‘Nightmare On Killmotor Hill!’, Lena left her past with her evil aunt Magica De Spell behind her and, as shown in the episode ‘The Phantom And The Sorceress!’, Lena managed to gain control over her magic. And @boingodigitalart made a post where Lena was dressed up in a white and blue witch outfit for Halloween. I think that’s pretty appropriate considering that, in the episode ‘The Phantom And The Sorceress!’, Lena adopted a white and blue appearance after she mastered her magic. Also, as shown in the episode ‘Friendship Hates Magic!’, Lena has become really close friends with Webby Vanderquack and Violet Sabrewing. So, I think that Lena might take turns with Webby and Violet on who decides what they will do for Halloween. For Lena’s turn, they might do the stuff that I explained earlier. For Webby’s turn, they might go to a Halloween party since, as shown in the episode ‘The Beagle Birthday Breakout!’, Webby seemed thrilled at the idea of going to her first costume party. I’ll be explaining what they might do for Violet’s turn on my next point. Speaking of which…

As shown in the episode ‘Friendship Hates Magic!’, Violet Sabrewing is very fascinated with magic and the supernatural. So, I think that the way she would choose to spend a Halloween night would be to go out ghost hunting with Lena and Webby. As also shown in the episode ‘Friendship Hates Magic!’, Violet has done quite a bit of research on spirits. That makes me think that Violet would be extra prepared when it comes to locating ghosts. As for what Violet might dress up as for Halloween, I think that she might dress up as something like a vampire hunter or a ghost hunter. One of the reasons why I think that Violet might dress up as a vampire hunter or a ghost hunter is because, like I said earlier, Violet has quite a fascination for magic and the supernatural. And since she would be out to hunt the supernatural, I think that Violet might think it would be appropriate.

As shown and stated in the episode ‘Louie’s Eleven!’, Daisy Duck directed a party that she had been planning for months. So, I think that the way Daisy would spend a Halloween night would be to throw a Halloween party. And since, as also shown in the episode ‘Louie’s Eleven!’, Daisy is into fashion and designed her own dress, she might arrange a costume contest that would take place during the Halloween party. As for what Daisy might dress up as for Halloween, I think that she might dress up as a princess. The reason why I think that Daisy might dress up as a princess for Halloween is because I think that a dress is probably one thing that would leave a lot of room for the costume to be as fashionable as possible. And like I pointed out earlier, Daisy is into fashion and designed her own dress. So, since Daisy designed her own dress, I think that she might design the princess Halloween costume herself. Also, as implied in the episode ‘The Last Adventure! Part 3: Tale’s End…’, Daisy and Donald decided to take May and June, who were recently cloned from Webby Vanderquack, in after FOWL was defeated. And I think, given the fact that May and June were only recently brought into the world and, as I pointed out earlier, Daisy planned a party for months, Daisy might take a more cautious approach when it comes to exposing May and June to their first Halloween. So, Daisy might first have May and June attend the aforementioned Halloween costume party before then transitioning to she and Donald taking them trick-or-treating for the first time.

As shown in the episode ‘Moonvasion! Part 1’, Drake Mallard AKA Darkwing Duck likes to show off and can be quite a bit dramatic when it comes to theatrics. So, I think that Drake would have a blast during Halloween, a holiday that pretty much encourages people to dress up as someone or something else and also embrace your sense of drama and theatrics. And since, as also shown in the episode ‘Moonvasion! Part 1’, Drake also tried to be scary to the invaders from the Moon albeit to no avail, he might try to get some scares out of some bullies who are picking on trick-or-treaters. But, just like with the invaders from the Moon, it would probably be to no avail. Drake might also even rework his usual catchphrase a little bit into something around the lines of: “I am the terror that flaps in this Halloween night. I am the phantom that sends shivers into the most evil of evildoers. I am…Darkwing Duck.” As for what Drake might dress up as for Halloween, I think that he might go as himself, Darkwing Duck. After all, as shown in the episode ‘The Duck Knight Returns!’, Drake is a big fan of the in-universe TV show version of Darkwing Duck. And, after an Anonymous Tumblr user asked @askdarkwingduck if Drake Mallard would dress up as Darkwing Duck for Halloween, askdarkwingduck, in their role as Drake Mallard, responded with a yes while also demonstrating that Drake likes to show off which means that it makes sense that he would want to dress up as his costumed persona for Halloween. And as I pointed out earlier, Drake also demonstrated this in the episode ‘Moonvasion! Part 1’ where Drake tried to show off to the invaders from the Moon. Another thing Drake would do for Halloween would be to take Gosalyn out trick-or-treating. After all, as shown in the episode ‘Let’s Get Dangerous! Part 2: A Case Of Mistaken Reality!’, Drake had grown to greatly care about Gosalyn to the point that he apparently didn’t sleep for days while trying to find a way for Gosalyn to be reunited with her grandfather. I think that aspect of Drake Mallard would also mean that he would want Gosalyn to enjoy a good Halloween night, especially after everything that Gosalyn has been through including, as shown in the episode ‘Let’s Get Dangerous!’, losing her grandfather in an inter-dimensional portal and having to destroy said portal that was the only way to get him back in order to stop the universe from getting destroyed. Speaking of Gosalyn…

I think that it will be difficult for Gosalyn to enjoy a good Halloween considering everything that happened to her. As shown in the episode ‘Let’s Get Dangerous! Part 1: The St. Canardian Guardian!’, Gosalyn’s grandfather mysteriously disappeared and Taurus Bulba used her grandfather’s invention, the Ramrod, to unleash a group of supervillains on St. Canard. Also, as shown in the episode ‘Let’s Get Dangerous! Part 2: A Case Of Mistaken Reality!’, Gosalyn had to persevere through her trauma in order to bring herself to destroy the portal that was her only hope of finding her grandfather. So, Gosalyn might still be traumatized. Also, while Gosalyn might be able to at least more or less persevere through her trauma, I also think that Gosalyn’s trauma is not the only thing she has to worry about. also shown in the episode ‘Let’s Get Dangerous! Part 2: A Case Of Mistaken Reality!’, Taurus Bulba unleashing those supervillains on St. Canard caused a sheer amount of destruction to St. Canard as a whole. So, it probably made the St. Canard news. And given that Gosalyn is one of, if not the biggest victim of everything that happened during the events of ‘Let’s Get Dangerous!’, I think that Gosalyn might have a difficult time enjoying Halloween without a bunch of people staring at her everywhere she goes and constantly whispering about what she might be going through. But given that, as also shown in the episode ‘Let’s Get Dangerous! Part 1: The St. Canardian Guardian!’, Gosalyn seemed pretty confident despite her trauma and her grandfather’s disappearance and, as also shown in the episode ‘Let’s Get Dangerous! Part 2: A Case Of Mistaken Reality!’, Gosalyn formed a strong bond with Drake Mallard and also happily accepted Drake’s offer to be his crime fighting partner despite everything else that’s happened to her, I think that Gosalyn would try her hardest to enjoy Halloween and would also let Drake take her out trick-or-treating. As for what Gosalyn might dress up as for Halloween, I think that Gosalyn might improvise and dress up as a new costumed superhero which she might dub ‘Quiverwing Quack’ which is also the costumed persona of the version of Gosalyn from the Darkwing Duck (1991) TV series. After all, as I already pointed out, Gosalyn happily accepted Drake’s offer to be her crime fighting partner. So, I think that Gosalyn would like to dress up as a costumed vigilante for Halloween.

As shown in the episode ‘The Ballad Of Duke Baloney!’, Zan Owlson really cares about peoples’ lives to the point that she tried to get Glomgold Industries to put people above profit while she worked there and she tends to take her job very seriously. And as shown in the episode ‘Let’s Get Dangerous! Part 1: The St. Canardian Guardian!’, Zan Owlson became the mayor of St. Canard. So, one thing I think that Zan Owlson might do for Halloween is to hold a Halloween-themed fundraiser in order to provide support to the charities in St. Canard. As for what Zan Owlson might dress up as for Halloween, I’m honestly not sure if she would wear a costume at all since, as shown in the episode ‘Raiders Of The Doomsday Vault!’, Zan Owlson has an incredibly no-nonsense attitude. But if Zan Owlson would wear a costume for Halloween, I think that she would dress up as a judge. After all, as I pointed out earlier, Zan Owlson wanted to put people above profit and she has an incredibly no-nonsense attitude. So, I think that Zan Owlson would dress up as a judge for Halloween since a judge would do both. After all, a professional judge helps people by trying to put the guilty behind bars and pardoning the innocent during trials while also keeping a no-nonsense attitude during said trials.

As shown in the episode ‘The Duck Knight Returns!’, Jim Starling AKA Negaduck had an oversized ego and hated that Drake Mallard replaced him in the role of Darkwing Duck. So, Jim might attack anyone who dresses up as Darkwing Duck for Halloween especially if it’s to celebrate the Drake Mallard version rather than his own version. And as also shown in the episode ‘The Duck Knight Returns!’, Jim seemed to like how the iteration of Darkwing Duck in a proposed Darkwing Duck movie seemed scary and also said, at the end of the episode that: “They want grim and gritty, huh? I’m happy to play the part.” I think that means that Jim would probably go out and scare people for Halloween. And given that, as also shown in the episode ‘The Duck Knight Returns!’, Jim had a pretty crazed look in his eyes and seemed pretty maniacal at the end of the episode, I think that Jim might actually succeed in getting scares out of people during Halloween. Another reason why I think this is because askdarkwingduck, in their role as Drake Mallard, answered an Anonymous Tumblr user’s question about what was the hardest thing Drake Mallard had to face with a reply about a “Duck in yellow” who is most likely Jim Starling AKA Negaduck and that he was extremely terrifying. And I figured that fits Jim Starling’s Negaduck persona rather well. And since, as I said in one of my previous points, Drake Mallard’s attempts at scaring others were admittedly unsuccessful, and as also that Jim is jealous of Drake as I also pointed out earlier, I think that Jim would be very happy and satisfied that he’s better than Drake Mallard at something Drake wasn’t able to do. And given what I just said about Jim growing to like getting scares out of people, I also think that Jim would like how Launchpad, as shown in the episode ‘The Trickening!’, Launchpad didn’t know what Halloween was and thus scared trick-or-treaters off with a saw and also scared some real monsters. After all, as shown in the episode ‘The Duck Knight Returns!’, Jim considered Launchpad to be his fan and he also saved Launchpad from dying in an explosion. So, I think that Jim might try to bond with Launchpad over the fact that they both are quite skilled at scaring others. And since Launchpad also used a saw I think that Jim assuming that Jim Starling would use a chainsaw often just like the Darkwing Duck (1991) TV series version of Negaduck did. However, I think that Jim would later become disappointed after finding out that Launchpad, as also shown in the episode ‘The Trickening!’, later stopped scaring trick-or-treaters after he found out what Halloween is and grew to love it.

Well, that’s all for this post.

See you all next time.

[giantkillerjack]

This baby is hurting these men on purpose, and only the nanny has suspected there is something too smart and too powerful about this baby.

When he is taken for ransom, she is not afraid they'll hurt the baby. She is afraid of what the baby is going to do to them.

Also, this kid keeps reacting to people like he knows what they're saying and also has a sense of irony, and I'm starting to think that maybe I actually found the only correct way to view this movie. XD

ALSO! This lens of "actually this child is the secret son of a trickster god who is being raised by an unsuspecting with loving but inattentive rich parents who wouldn't notice if anything was odd":

Makes the film a lot less stressful to watch, since you know with certainty that this child is too powerful to be harmed.

Makes it a lot funnier that the only people who see him pulling this shit are the three kidnappers. Because if you decide that actually this world does not work on Looney Tune rules like it was written to, and that actually this is a reality exactly like our own, then that makes everything that happens not just far-fetched but fully impossible. Which makes it much more entertaining when the kidnappers try desperately to explain to someone the power this baby has.

Makes a very shallow film (which is fine in a movie for young children) into a more layered experience (which is great for 28-year-old stoners)

I love the idea of a divine baby that doesn't need to show they can survive a bus collision because a bus would simply never collide with them! The bus would instead just stop and allow them to get on unnoticed!!

Today I was reminded of the movie Baby's Day Out (AKA Home Alone but it's a baby), which I loved as a kid and haven't thought about in years.

And I had the thought, "if I watch this movie with the presupposition that this baby is a divine entity of chaos, will that make this movie more enjoyable to rewatch?

The answer to this question is obviously yes without even having to test it out, so I decided to make it a little more interesting and update my very scientific hypothesis:

If I watch this movie with the aforementioned assumption, then will that in fact make Baby's Day Out into the best version of The Omen??

I'm testing my hypothesis now. I don't think I've seen this movie in like 20 years. Man. It's hard being a scientist doing important science work sometimes.

[shychick-52]

So, in the EPCOT interactive game DuckTales World Showcase Adventure, there are seven countries with a different mystical artifact- the Seven Plunders of the World- hidden in each one. It’s basically a scavenger hunt, and the player (‘Adven-sharer’, as the Ducks call them) looks for clues to help the Ducks find each treasure and thwart a variety of villains from stealing them. The enemies are a mix of regular/recurring villains and one-time villains from certain episodes. The seven countries in the game are Mexico, Norway, Germany, France, Japan, and China.

When I watched all the videos of them on YouTube, I was delighted to learn that Gyro and Fenton are in the game too! They aren’t in every country/mission, though- Gyro is in the France mission and Fenton is in the Japan mission.

…I was shocked that Gyro isn’t in the Japan mission, because of his significant association with Japan revealed in the season 3, episode 6 episode ‘Astro B.O.Y.D.’! ‘Astro B.O.Y.D’ took place in Japan, which was not only where Gyro suffered a traumatic past that changed him for the worse (his backstory is so good, and explains why he became the embittered, distant, and seemingly arrogant present-day Gyro), but also where he ended up gaining closure about his past, the beautiful beginnings of much-needed character development and healing, and the beautiful beginnings of a relationship with his robot son Boyd at the end of the episode. If Gyro had’ve been in the Japan mission of DuckTales World Showcase Adventure, maybe we could have also gotten a Boyd reference or even a cameo, which would’ve been fantastic because that little guy and his relationship with Gyro are both criminally overlooked.

It turned out that Gyro's role in DuckTales World Showcase Adventure (where he still wasn't given much character development, but was still hilariously snarky as usual XD) was in the France mission instead.

Sooo, no Gyro (or Boyd) in the Japan mission. But surely Akita is the bad guy for that one, right? You know, this guy? Guy responsible for forcing Boyd to be a killer robot and destroying Tokyolk?

I mean, that should've been the obvious choice, right?? Sure, he’s only a one-time villain, but three other one-time villains were brought back for the game to represent their respective nations (Toad Liu Hai for the China mission, the Kelpies for the United Kingdom mission, and Hecka- one of the Valhalla wrestlers the family faced in ‘Rumble for Ragnarok’- for the Norway mission).

Wrong! The villains for the Japan mission were the Beagles and Mark Beaks (which make zero sense), who’d teamed up to steal the Illustrated Scroll of Quackagawa from the temple where it was stored. (More ‘Astro B.O.Y.D.’ erasure, ugh) Turns out Ma Beagle had Beaks design a robot lookalike of Webby to steal the treasure and frame the real Webby at the same time. The plan was for the Beagles to sell Beaks the Scroll so he could “add it to his extensive collection of rare historical manga.” Ok, then…

Well, neither Gyro, Boyd, or Akita were even mentioned in the Japan mission, but we did get one reference to ‘Astro B.O.Y.D.’! A very quick image of Inspector Tezuka (silent recycled footage from that episode) while Dewey was explaining that “local police think that the real Webby took the Scroll because the bot looks exactly like her.” So, that was pretty neat!

Ok, I admit that Fenton was the second-best choice for the Japan mission. Fenton’s role in this mission? Well... once Beaks learned how dangerous the Scroll’s powers were, he stupidly decided to use the robot to activate those powers because “that story would be trending for at least an hour!” So, they needed a “robot expert” to help them stop the robot.

Still, you’d think Gyro would be that robot expert, right? I mean, duh. It’s Gyro, c’mon, who else?! DX All the more reason for him to be in this mission, and they blow it again. It takes place in Japan and involves an evil robot, and they don’t use him??

(At this point, Fenton should have reminded them that Gyro's the real robotics expert)

Well, ok, by “robot expert”, Huey was actually hinting that Fenton could handle it because he’s Gizmoduck (which Dewey clarified)- a superhero in a robotic suit of armor, which would be more than a match for the robot imposter of Webby.  Fair enough, I admit. I mean, Fenton’s role in this does make sense when you consider that. But still… it’s Gyro, man.

Quit squandering all these perfect opportunities to feature him (and Akita), DuckTales team!! DX

And even if Gyro still was banned from Japan at the end of 'Astro B.O.Y.D.' (even tho he was instrumental in saving the day and it was revealed the '2-BO' incident was neither his or Boyd's fault), there was no reason for Akita not to be in the Japan mission!!

Oh, and this post also explains how it was also a missed opportunity for them to reveal Akita ending up in F.O.W.L. in the show.

[thiswasinevitableid]

Faithful (Sternclay)

The last fill is the winner of the more sweet than spooky prompts: My friend/relative is too sick to go trick-or-treating, so I’m taking their kid

“Thanks so much again for bailing me out” Lillian ties her scarf around her neck before kneeling down, “Grace, you be good for your uncle okay? I’ll be back in time to tuck you in.”

“Okay” Joseph’s niece smiles and bends her head foreward so his sister can kiss it. 

“That’s my girl. And don’t eat too much candy” She stands and gives Joseph The Look, “moms rules, got it.”

“Got it. Drive safe.” He hugs her, then holds Grace’s hand as they wave her off to her car. 

His niece looks up at him with what he can only describe as the Stern Family Gaze, “what are ‘Moms Rules?”

“Your grandmother would let us eat as much Halloween candy as we wanted on Halloween itself. But only if we ate actual dinner first.”

“What are we having for dinner?”

“You mom left some chili for us.”

“Blech”

“All the candy you want, remember?”

She narrows her eyes,  “Fine. But I’m getting into my costume first. You’re helping me.”

“Of course, my little lake monster.” 

Ten minutes later, he’s staring at grotesque chicken in place of his niece. 

“You’re…an evil robot?”

“Her name is Chica and she’s possessed by a murdered child.” She says with the scorn only a seven-year-old child can muster. 

“Okay then. Come on, it’s dinner time.”

He’s bemused that his sister would let be something from a horror game but on the other hand maybe this means he’ll one day have someone to watch scary movies with. Not that he’s testing that theory tonight; Lily has baby pictures and is not afraid to use them if he accidentally traumatizes her kid. 

They set out into the streets as it gets dark, porches lighting up orange and purple and the smell of candy and singed pumpkin drifting through the air. 

This neighborhood is full of families, so they spend plenty of time waiting at the foot of steps for other kids to collect their candy. It takes all of five minutes before someone is telling Joseph what a good dad he is just for holding her hand when a flock of boisterous tweens storm past covered in fake gore. 

He smiles and corrects them; this happens to him a lot. Lily works on-call half the time, and his brother-in-law is an RN whose schedule seems to think he does not actually have a life. A perk of having left the FBI is that Joseph can set his own hours, so at least once a month he’s summoned to keep an eye on Grace. Not that he minds; it’s nice to talk with someone who still thinks he’s the coolest guy in the world. 

Grace insists on the long route for candy collection, and by the time they’re heading along the park towards home there are hardly any families on the street. 

As he’s asking her what her favorite decorations were, she freezes and tugs his arm. 

“There’s a dog in that bush.”

He follows her pointed finger, expecting a beagle or pomeranian cowering in the foliage. Not a fucking wolf. 

“Yes, it seems there is” there are no wolves in Madison, so this has to be a really big husky or a wolf-dog or something, “but let's leave him be.”

“But he’s hurt.” 

She’s right; the animal has a cut on its snout. Joseph takes a step, then another, and all the dog does is whimper. 

“It’s okay, big guy, we’re friendly. Are you lost?”  He gestures slowly for the dog to come to him, “let’s see who you belong to, then we can-” he sighs as he sees there’s no collar or tags, “we can figure something out.”

The dog licks his hand, sad brown eyes staring up at him. Its fur is gorgeous dark brown and very soft when Joseph pats its head. He can’t shake the feeling that he’s looking at a wolf that’s just not quite right in the face. 

“Is he nice?”

One floppy ear perks up at Grace’s voice, and then the dog flops onto its side, showing her its belly. She laughs and kneels to pat his head. 

“It seems like it. I’d say he should come with us but I don’t have a leash. So how about this; we get you home, then I’ll come back and look for him and see if we can find his owner.”

Grace agrees, reluctantly stands, and takes Joseph’s hand. A few seconds after they’re back on the pavement, this a click-click of claws following behind. 

“Uncle Joseph, look, he likes you!”

He glances behind them with a smile, “That or he wants your candy. Either way, I guess he’s coming home with me.”

Joseph coaxes the dog into his car to wait until Lily gets home. Once his sister is back and his niece is putting away her candy, he hops in and drives back to his house. It’s on the outskirts of the city, where the woods start to encroach, and the dog sniffs the air in the direction of the treeline as he unlocks the door. 

“Now, I have a dog already. Her name is Nessie. She’s a little scared of other dogs, so she might run away or hide from you. If you chase her or bully her, you will spend the night outside. Got it?”

The dog boofs once, a low and happy sound. 

“Good enough.”

As he expected, Nessie skitters out to meet him and freezes when she sees what he’s brought home. But instead of running, she cautiously comes closer, sniffing the newcomer, who sits patiently during her inspection. Then she licks him once on the face and trots over to Joseph for attention. 

Interesting. 

“I missed you too, girl. Now let’s find our new friend somewhere to sleep.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

In Barclay’s defense, he never meant for it to get this out of hand. 

He’d known this area had some nasty off-shoots of vampire hives, but he’d also heard that some of his friends might have found safe haven here. So he was willing to risk the trip. Turns out nasty gangs of vampires breed nasty gangs of humans (or maybe it’s the other way around), and said humans like to stab first and ask questions later. He’d avoided a knife to the gut but not the face and ran for his life, changing into a wolf once he lost them so any humans would see an injured dog, not a huge scary man. The plan was to lay low until he could sneak into the night and find a safe place to hide. 

And while the foot of Joseph’s bed is certainly safe, it’s weird to lay here in the dark with a human happily asleep and completely unaware they let a vampire into their house. 

Weirder still has been how gentle Joseph is with him. No raised voices or threats, no getting annoyed when Barclays bulk knocks things over. Just the offer of dinner (Barclay managed to let Nessie eat his share without the human noticing) and then a bath. A bath during which a very good human stripped to his boxer-briefs and undershirt in order to scrub mud and blood from Barclay’s fur. A bath after which Joseph toweled him off and put a bandaid on his nose and called him a good boy for being so well-behaved.

Barclay would have gone belly-up for him in that moment even if he was in his human form.

His plan is to escape come morning, but Joseph doesn’t leave for an office as Barclay assumed he would. Instead he spends the morning on the phone calling around and checking online to see if anyone is missing a dog. When that search turns up nothing, he bundles Barclay into the backseat of his car and drives to a vet. 

Mercifully, he just wants them to check Barclay’s cut to make sure it doesn’t need stitches. He doesn’t, and he uses the moment of eye contact with the vet to put them in enough of a thrall so they tell Joseph no other care is needed. 

Joseph stops at a burger shack on the way home, pulling into the lot to eat. Barclay’s pleading eyes earn him a fry, which is for the best; he couldn’t handle much more mortal food than that without getting sick. But it’s not his fault salt and fat still smell good to a vampire.

In the evening, Joseph walks him over on a makeshift leash to a pet store, then back towards home on a sturdy, tartan-patterned one. As they’re cutting through an alley, a figure steps from a back door and calls Joseph’s name.

Barclay knows another vampire when he sees one, and bares his teeth as the man steps closer. 

“Easy, big guy” Joseph says calmly, “Alan is a friend of mine.”

“More like your fucking servant.” The vampire smiles, “my sister got out yesterday; the fang-mark stuff you showed the cops did the trick.” He offers his hand, “You ever need to woo someone or go to a funeral or anything, your orders at my place are on the house.” 

Barclay glances up to see Gravedirt Florist printed on the backdoor. 

Joseph says he’ll keep that in mind and waves goodnight. As they walk he muses to Barclay, “You didn’t act that way towards anyone else today. I wonder…can you tell vampires from humans? Or do you just want to protect me?”

Barclay barks in what he hopes is an affirmative tone. 

“That gives me an idea. After all, a vampire ‘hunter’” he makes literal air-quotes, “can use all the protection he can get.”

They reach the door of the house. Barclay shouldn’t follow him through it, shouldn’t let himself be alone in a room with a fucking vampire hunter, sure as fuck shouldn’t agree to be his guard dog. He should use all his strength to yank the leash free and run for the hills. 

Joseph rubs his head, “We can sleep on it, right big guy? You deserve a break and to be spoiled after being lost and fending for yourself.”

Blue eyes shine, trusting and kind, as the grip on the leash loosens so he can open the door. 

Barclay cuddles up to Joseph’s thigh and follows him in. 

Just a few more days. Then he’ll go.

—-------------------------------------------------------

A week after bringing the new dog home, Joseph follows the sound of Nessie’s barking into the living room. As he expected, a vampire with a grudge is waiting for him. 

“That’s the most pathetic guard dog I’ve ever seen.”

He needs at least a few seconds to grab his tool-belt from its hook.

“Oh, Nessie is just the alarm.” A growl grows in the darkness behind as he says glibly, “Bigfoot is the muscle.”

It turns out when you have a massive, snarling dog, troublesome vampires show themselves out without fight. 

—--------------------------------------------------------------------

Barclay stands, surveying the house for the last time. For two and a half weeks he’s only left it with Joseph or on the few nights he snuck out to visit the butcher. It feels wrong to be leaving with no intention of coming back. 

Nessie prances at his feet, UFO chew toy in her mouth. Whenever Joseph is gone for the day, Barclay will turn human and play with her for hours before cuddling up on the couch to read from Joseph’s excellent collection of mystery novels. 

“Sorry, sweet girl. Not today.” He rubs her ear, “take care of him, okay? And for go-ow, for goodness sake try to get him to sleep more.”

He slips out the front door and down the street. His first stop is the butcher for some blood, then to the library to use the computer to look for somewhere to live. When he comes out, no leads to be found, he sees Joseph on the corner, asking the guys at the falafel food truck if they saw a large, brown dog come this way. 

Barclay’s not going to feel bad. He’s not going back. He’s not. 

He sees Joseph several more times throughout the evening, having some version of that same conversation. 

At three in the morning, his curiosity gets the best of him, and he sneaks back to the house. Through the window he can see the human on his laptop, refreshing what looks to be the community notices page; the one where people post lost pets. 

Joseph closes the computer and leans back, wipes his eye and casts a hopeful glance at the backdoor. 

No one’s mourned his departure that much in years. 

He takes his wolf form, scratches at the door, and waits only a few seconds before Joseph is on his knees, hugging him and making him swear to never do that again. 

He can’t promise that. But maybe he can hang around a little longer. 

—-------------------------------------------------------

“Well that could have gone better.” Joseph peels off his bloody shirt, already standing in the shower to avoid making the whole bathroom into a crime scene. 

Barclay nods, a habit he hasn’t managed to hide and is praying Joseph won’t notice. His fur is matted with blood from a truly horrendous night. He didn’t know there was such a thing as a multi-mouthed graveghoul, but it turns out there is and that it’s aggressive as fuck.

Joseph points to the tub and he climbs in, lets the human scrub him clean and run his hands over him in search of injury. Once he’s clean and dry, Joseph shoos him out so he can take a proper shower. 

Seeing him step out ten minutes later in only a towel makes Barclay hot under both the literal and figurative collars.

“I’m glad you’re okay, big guy” Joseph ruffles his fur, “we make a good team.”

They do. But lately all Barclay can think is they’d make such a better one if he could be human. If he could make breakfast for Joseph after a long night, could sit and read while the human looks over his case files, could walk holding his hand instead of on a leash and talk with him about everything. 

(Could feed from him instead of sneaking drinks from a carton)

But being honest with Joseph can’t mean anything but losing him. And Barclay’s not quite ready to lose him. Not yet. 

—-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Here we go, some entertainment for you” Joseph sets the puzzle toy down for Bigfoot, “and some light reading for me.” He laughs at his own joke as he drops a stack of new, vampiric history books on his table.

Bigfoot wags his tail at him, then settles in to nap. Fair enough, they did have a long night of chasing down a vampire hunter who was lighting vampire businesses on fire for the hell of it. 

The first book is A Compendium of Vampirical Powers. When he hits chapter three, he turns the page to a plate showing an illustration of a vampire who has taken the form of a wolf. Assuming this is an accurate image, he’s impressed; it does look like a wolf. 

A wolf who’s not quite right in the face. 

Joseph looks at his guard dog. His guard dog who only eats when Joseph isn’t looking at him, who learns commands as if he understood english, who always seems to bark when a human would reply to Joseph thinking aloud. 

“Bigfoot?”

The dog opens its eyes and lifts its head to regard him. 

“If you…if you were a vampire, you would tell me, right?”

The dog tenses, which does nothing to soothe Joseph’s worry. 

“I wouldn’t be angry. I promise. But if I’m onto something, and you care about me even a little, please be honest with me.”

Bigfoot closes his eyes with a resigned sigh, and then there’s a large, bearded man on Joseph’s rug. 

“Um. Hi.” Strong arms wave from a ratty t-shirt, and thick, hairy legs stick out of shorts, “So, you’re right, I am a vampire. I was being chased by some of those shitty guys we dealt with last week and I panicked and turned into my wolf form to hide and then you were there and…yeah” he undoes the collar at his throat, “I’ve been living as your dog for months.”

“Ohjesus” Joseph runs a hand through his hair, “I can’t believe I was so dense, it was so obvious, oh god I have rubbed your belly so many times and you, you slept in my bed!”

“You said you wouldn’t be mad.” The vampire winces away from him. 

“Sorry. I’m just…why did you let it go for so long?”

“At first I needed somewhere to hide, then I couldn't handle running away and making you upset and I, I really, I like you, Joseph. You saw a huge, scary dog and took him home instead of calling the cops, and you were so good to me I didn’t want to leave. Even though I knew I should. I’m so sorry.” He sits up, scrunching in on himself to seem smaller, “I can go.”

“Do you have somewhere to go?”

“Not really.” The vampire says sheepishly. 

Joseph slides down to the floor so they’re face to face, “Then I’m not kicking you out. I trust you; if you were a threat to me, you would have attacked me by now.”

“Never” The force of the reply surprises them both. 

“Am I right that you don’t have a job either?”

“Uh huh.”

Joseph touches a tattooed arm, “What’s your name, big guy?”

“Barclay.”

“Here’s what I propose, Barclay: I still need extra protection. And I have the money to pay for it. So if you want, you can keep working for me and living here. Just as a roommate.”

“I’d really, really,  really like that.”

“Then it’s a deal” Joseph helps him to his feet and tries for levity, “but no more sleeping in the bed.”

“I thought it was what a dog would do! Plus it gets cold at night and Nessie hogs the spot by the heater.”

Joseph chuckles, “She really does. I’ll guess I’ll just make sure there’s lots of extra blankets in the spare bedroom.”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The benefits of Barclay having told Joseph the truth are many, starting with the fact that Barclay is an excellent cook and likes making meals for Joseph even when he can’t eat them himself.  Joseph feels like a spoiled husband whenever he wakes up to breakfast already made or comes home to dinner waiting on the table. 

Barclay is also an excellent conversationalist, even though Joseph is playing catch-up when it comes to getting to know him while Barclay is familiar with all his most embarrassing habits. Then again, it’s tremendously relaxing to be around someone who’s seen him sing to ABBA or curse at the dishwasher and still wants to spend time with him. 

For his part, Barclay is clearly enjoying not having to hide anymore, and is just as protective of him as a man as he was as a wolf. He’s also still using the dog shampoo Joseph bought him because he likes the way it makes his hair soft. 

Joseph does miss being able to touch him, and with every passing morning the temptation to reach across the table and hold his hand as they have coffee becomes less bearable.

Tonight, Barclay is humming along to the radio as he dusts pumpkin ravioli with ricotta. As he bends to grab a plate from the dishwasher, Joseph notices an odd lump in his back pocket. If it’s what he thinks it is, it’s a very interesting situation indeed. 

He stands and slips it free just as Barclay straightens. 

“Whoa, hey there” Barclay laughs as he turns, “you that…hungry…for..oh man I can explain I promise.”

“Please do” Joseph dangles the old collar between them. 

“I kept it as a, uh, a souvenir. Of the part of being hidden I liked.”

“Keep talking.”

“I liked” Barclay looks down, “I liked being good for you. Being yours. I like belonging to you because I knew you’d take care of me and it made me so fucking happy and also it was really fucking hot to be on a leash for you which gives me all kinds of weird feelings. And being with you now is agony because it’s so close to being yours, and now I know how well we work together, but I don’t want to make you feel like you have to want me….

“So what I’m hearing is that you’d like to keep being mine under certain, um, conditions? My good boy who’s also my boyfriend?” Joseph sets the collar on the counter. 

“Please.”

“I think that can be arranged.” Joseph leans in and kisses him, the vampire whimpering until Joseph puts his arms around him and holds him close. 

“Does this mean I can sleep in the bed again?” Barclay smiles, fangs glinting promisingly in the kitchen lights. 

“Yes, big guy, it does.

[sacred-stanning]

Chapter 18 Part 2: The Map

Here's my team for this map.

This was a hard one, because the eggs on this map are amazing for boosting experience, so it's tempting to bring everyone, which of course is impossible.

I'm bringing both Moulder and L'Arachel because they can both use Restore Staves, and I may need them.

We start in the lower-left corner of the map, with one initial path up and right.

Moving the screen up, we can see more eggs, and a Gargoyle. This is where the path splits and either continues up, or goes right.

And even farther up, there are more eggs, another Gargoyle, and a Gorgon.

To the right of the starting position, here's the other path that heads right, with more eggs.

...and a Gargoyle and an Eye.

Up from the above photo, we see more eggs and another Eye.

And in the upper right, where the two routes converge again, there are more Eyeballs, eggs, and a boss Gorgon.

Here is one example of a Gorgon enemy. They have a "magical illusion wave movement" ("Demon Surge" in the official translation) as their weapon.

The second two characters in the weapon's name are "hadou", like Ken and Ryu's "Hadouken".

Funny enough, this very weak Gorgon is the boss!

I think this boss may have been powered up in the US release, because I saw a higher level and better stats listed when I looked the map up online. In fact, I almost wonder if it was a mistake that the boss ended up so weak in the Japanese release.

The eyeballs are different than the ones earlier in the game. The name in Japanese says "bee-goo-loo", so...

"beagle"??? "biggle"????? (I like "biggle". That's a cute name!)

I looked it up, and I think they were called "Arch Mogall" in English.

Their attack is called "Evil Eye".

Here's another Gorgon. I'm showing this one because, even though it's a lower level than the boss one above, it has better stats! It really seems likely that the boss being so under-powered was due to some sort of oversight.

Here's an example of the Gargoyles we'll be dealing with.

And here's another Gorgon. This photo is here to show off the other weapon that some of the Gorgons have, which is the reason why I'm bringing two Restore Staves.

"Stone" has 1-3 range, and if it hits, the unit gets turned to stone and is unable to move for a couple turns. They also cannot avoid attacks, and enemies who attack them have a base 30% crit rate, <D.A.R.E.> so it's pretty dangerous to get stoned </D.A.R.E.>.

Syrene found Lute shortly before the small front line force was to head out. Lute was sitting on the ground near her horse, writing something in a book.

Syrene really didn't want to think of herself as an overbearing older sister who kept tabs on who Vanessa spent time with...but she also was so used to looking out for her sister since she was little that she couldn't help herself.

"I'm not going to be nosy and weird about it" she thought to herself. "I'm just going to say hi and see what kind of person she is."

"Hello, Lute, right?" Syrene stood in front of Lute and spoke to her.

Lute looked up at her. "Hello," Lute said in return. "You are the woman with the Linder's Pegasus."

"Uh, yes. My name is Syrene. I just wanted to thank you again for coming to my rescue."

"I did not know you were there. I was following Vanessa because she saw the townspeople from the air, and we wanted to try to save them."

"Right..." Syrene was struck again by how the conversation didn't quite go where she expected whenever she talked with this girl. "Well, thank you anyway for helping me, even if that wasn't your original goal."

Lute nodded and said nothing.

Syrene waited a moment, but it didn't seem like Lute was going to talk, so she continued. "Actually, I also wanted to thank you for helping out my sister."

Lute looked at Syrene blankly. "Who?" she asked.

Syrene smiled. "Vanessa! Vanessa is my sister! I'm sorry, I guess you didn't know that yet. I guess she hasn't ever mentioned me to you, right?"

"No, she has not mentioned you." Lute tilted her head slightly and looked at Syrene's face. "I can see the resemblance though. It is not surprising to find out that you are sisters."

"Well, at any rate, Vanessa told me that you have been good friends with her, and I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you looking out for her. She's my only sister, and I used to look out for her myself when she was younger, but we haven't even seen each other in almost 4 years now..."

Syrene stopped talking and looked at Lute's face. Lute was no longer looking directly at her, but instead was looking up in the air slightly and twirling a lock of her hair in one finger.

Without looking at Syrene, Lute suddenly asked, "Vanessa said I was a good friend?"

Syrene nodded, "Yes. And, well, not to embarrass her, but ever since she was a kid, Vanessa hasn't always made a lot of friends, so I was really relieved to hear that she had someone she was getting along with in this army."

"I also have never had many friends," Lute stated matter-of-factly. "I am glad to hear that Vanessa said that."

Lute was still twirling her hair as she spoke. "Although, to be fair, I do not think Vanessa is judging the situation accurately. I have not been a good friend because I am bad at explaining things sometimes, and I collapsed in the library and made her worry. I think that Moulder is a much better friend to her."

Syrene didn't respond at first. "It sounds like she's confessing to me! What am I supposed to say to this?" she thought.

As Syrene was looking at Lute, wondering how to respond, she noticed Lute's gaze drift beside her.

"Vanessica Vanessicus!" Lute said suddenly, and got up into a half-crouch position.

Syrene followed Lute's gaze and saw a bright green beetle perched on a tuft of grass near her feet.

"Oh! What a pretty beetle!" Syrene said. Then she asked Lute, "But what did you just call it?"

"I called it Vanessica Vanessicus. That is its scientific name. I gave it that name because I discovered it, so I get to name it, and its wings are a pretty green color, just like Vanessa's hair. It is a type of dung beetle, and I have seen it a couple of times in pegasus dung, though this is the first time I have seen it alighted upon the grass like this."

Lute spoke all of this quickly and excitedly, all while keeping her eyes firmly locked on the beetle. "Do you really think it is pretty?" she asked suddenly. "In my experience, many people do not like insects, so I was very happy when Vanessa saw it and thought it was pretty. But I guess since you are her sister, maybe you both share opinions on insects. I do not have any siblings."

"She named a dung beetle after Vanessa?" Syrene thought. But listening to the excitement in Lute's voice as she described the beetle (and she was still describing it as Syrene was thinking all of this) Syrene could tell that naming the beetle after Vanessa was done with only good intentions, as odd a "gift" as it was.

"...not sure what it might eat in the winter, although, if it is similar to other dung beetles..." Lute was still talking about the beetle.

Syrene felt bad for interrupting, "Um, Lute, thanks for talking with me, but I think your unit is marching out soon, so I don't want to take up too much of your time. Please keep looking out for my sister, and be careful out there yourself!"

Lute finally broke her gaze from the beetle and looked at Syrene. She smiled slightly, the first time Syrene had seen that, and said, "Ok, I will. Thank you..."

Syrene heard the pause in her speech. "Syrene" she interjected.

"Thank you, Syrene. I will be careful, and I will make sure Vanessa is safe."

Syrene started to return to her own battalion and left Lute to prepare (though she wasn't preparing, she was now crouched by the beetle and sketching something in her book, like she was on a picnic, not at war!)

Vanessa had made an interesting choice of a friend, but, well, at least this Lute girl did seem to be genuine. Syrene felt somewhat relieved, though she still had some questions...

Next time: Sweet, sweet egg exp

[kevin--of-desert-bluffs]

WTNV quick rundown - 84 - Past Time

Featuring the voice of Jackson Publick as Hiram McDaniels.

Dress for success. Put on your tall hat and rubber gloves and long, gray coat. Success requires this specific outfit. Welcome to Night Vale.

Cecil and Steve have been helping Janice train for softball, which she loves. She went to tryouts at the haunted baseball diamond in hopes of joining NV's first wheelchair softball team.

Coach Lusia Tereshchenko (the ghost) states that there have been many Strangers watching the tryouts. She firmly believes that they are not from DB and are not ghosts. She hints that they 'remind her of the men on the train'. It turns out she came to NV decades ago, 'old west' time, after accidentally helping some outlaws attempt to rob a train of the same crates You were in charge of loading and unloading. They are fired upon by the sheriff of NV at the time and Lusia tries to help the sheriff but is ultimately killed. As she dies/becomes a ghost she sees the Dark Planet.

She also says that the train used to run by a field, which kids used to play baseball on, so she learnt to love the game and eventually get good at coaching it. She is also the reason it's referred to as the 'haunted baseball diamond'.

She says that the men on the train were evil in a different way to the strangers. She also says that Cecil used to play softball, but he doesn't remember that.

As they leave, Cecil sees the boy in the hoodie and the beagle puppy which gives him a bad feeling once more.

Weather: "The River, The Woods" Astronautalis

During a segment of Hey There Cecil, Cecil informs somebody that quartz chips and dead pheasant have not been legal tender since the 90's which is why their landlord is mad about rent payments. He also receives a note from somebody who pet Maureen and the boy in the hoodie's beagle puppy and after that had terrible nightmares about the puppy which resulted in them throwing up black tar. Still, they want to know if they should get a dog. Cecil says yes but they seem to be allergic to beagles. Carlos also sends a Hey There Cecil asking for a date. Cecil accepts.

Hiram's Violet head calls and tells Cecil that he will no longer be a witness against himself, but will stand with his other heads because he cannot continue to fight against himself. Hiram also states that NV needs his protection against the strangers who are absolutely not just people from DB but even his probably couldn't defeat them.

Stay tuned next for something lurking just outside your window. Don't worry. It's not a human.And as always, good night, Night Vale. Good Night.

Proverb: Dance like the government is watching.

[saviourkingslut]

for the FE ask game: 17, 18 & 19

17. Rank the Black Eagles from your favorite to least favorite. 1. Ferdinand 2. Linhardt 3. Caspar 4. Dorothea (i have a lot of fondness for the version that exists in my head but in the game itself she is kind of mid and underdeveloped a lot of the time imo, so that's why she's on 4 instead of 3) 5. Petra 6. Bernadetta 7. Hubert (genuinely so much fucking wasted potential i could have LOVED this guy, they should have doubled down on the creepy genuinely evil bitch with a soft side, but they had to make him edelgard's soulless puppet instead. like he's barely even his own person it's so disapppointing) 8. Edelgard (perish) im not... a huge beagles fan tbh. like most of these characters i couldn't really care less abt rip! ferdinand is my bestie tho. and i love linhardt for being a cunt, i wish he didn't get hit with extremely sleepy character beam 18. Rank the Blue Lions from your favorite to least favorite. 1. Dimitri 2. Sylvain 3. Dedue 4. Mercedes 5. Felix 6. Ashe 7. Annette 8. Ingrid but im going to be real with you, dimitri and sylvain are my clear favourites who i am mentallyl ill abt and then i genuinely love all the other blions pretty much equally so like... this list is almost arbitrary in that regard. 19. Rank the Golden Deer from your favorite to least favorite. 1. Claude 2. Marianne 3. Ignatz 4. Lysithia 5. Leonie (she'd be higher up if it weren't for the fact that she kind of got nuked by Jeralt-syndrome) 6. Lorenz 7. Hilda 8. Raphael ehhh i probably like the version of claude that exists in my head more than the actual canon version bc i have some... issues with him but like w/e!

[linklocus]

I’ve decided to talk about my pet-peeves when it comes to how people draw Wally. First of all: please stop giving him teeth. Please. It’s silly looking* at best and uncanny at worst. Eyebrows are less of a problem but it still looks dumb. He’s got enough hair have you seen his pompadour. Also, some people are just. So fucking *horny* about it. Like, I’m not gonna get mad at you for simping for wally(I’m not a hypocrite), or for drawing him in a “hot” way. But. At least make it look like wally??? Not some generic anime twink that you stuck a pompadour and some primary colors on?????? And, Getting a little off topic because it’s not really about how he’s drawn, but, why does it seem like people only find wally attractive when he’s evil? Why does he need to be a “yandere” or whatever?? I’m starting to think y'all don’t like wally at all, but rather the results of sticking wally through a very long game of simp Telephone. Why can no-one be normal about him. 

- Barnaby B. Beagle, Welcome Home(🍰)           

(*(derogatory), he should be silly looking(affectionate))

[sjbattleangel]

Nickname: Sweetheart. *Blushes* I know...

Sign: Virgo.

Last thing I googled: Free Sims cc.

Amount of sleep: Rather not say, it's related to mental health issues.

Dream job: Writing and illustrating comic-books, working in animation, designing video games.

Wearing: Really light clothes. It's sweltering here.

Media that summarizes me: Movies: The Secret Of NIMH; The Dark Crystal; Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs; Sleeping Beauty; The Neverending Story; Labyrinth; Return To Oz; Akira; Metropolis (2000); The Matrix; Spider-Man 1 and 2; Ghostbusters; Beetlejuice; Princess Mononoke; Spirited Away; Kiki's Delivery Service; Pulp Fiction; Pan's Labyrinth.

Series: Batman: The Animated Series; Batman Beyond; Gargoyles; Beast Wars; Cowboy Bebop; Cybersix; Avatar: The Last Airbender; Sailor Moon; The Owl House; Amphibia; Steven Universe; She-Ra (2018).

Video Games: Beyond Good & Evil; Odin Sphere; Final Fantasy; Fire Emblem; The Legend Of Zelda; Rayman; Ratchet & Clank; The Jak & Daxter trilogy; Baldur's Gate; Planescape: Torment; Suikoden II; Chrono Trigger; Knights Of The Old Republic; The Longest Journey; Metal Gear Solid; Bioshock; The Mass Effect Trillogy; Ico; Shadow Of The Colossus; Legacy Of Kain; The Sims.

Comics/Graphic-novels: Mrs. Marvel (2014); Batgirl (2000); Spider-Gwen; Akira; Battle Angel Alita; The Sandman; Death; Books Of Magic; Bone; Nemesis The Warlock; V For Vendetta; Will Eisner's Life on Dropsie Avenue; All-Star Superman; Watchmen; The works of Moebius; The New Teen Titans by Marv Wolfman & George Perez; Chris Claremont's runs on The Uncanny X-Men and The New Mutants.

Others: The works of Jim Henson: The Muppets, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock, ect; Wallace & Gromt; Fashion; Perfumes.

Favorite Song(s): Rhythm Nation, Escapade, Come Back To Me-Janet Jackson, The Way I feel About You-Karyn White; Buffalo Stance, Outré Risqué Locomotive, Kisses On The Wind, Here I come-Neneh Cherry; Can You Stand The Rain-New Edition; When The Doves Cry, DMSR, Raspberry Beret, Sign 'O' The Times, Housequake-Prince; Run-Leona Lewis; Stay-Shakespeare's Sister; Tank!-Seatbelts; Inner Universe, Rise-Origa; The Sixith Station,The Legend Of Ashitaka-Joe Hisashi; To Zanarkand-Nobuo Uematsu; Venus: The Bringer Of Peace-Gustav Holst and so, SO MANY MORE...

Instruments: Piano and Keyboard.

Aesthetic: Spacecore; Gothic; Dark/Gothic Academia; Dreamy-core; Whimsygoth; Gothic Shabby Chic, Warmcore; Fairytale.

Favorite Author(s): Neil Gaiman; Ray Bradbury; Micheal Moorcock; Terry Pratchett; Brian Jacques; Ursula K. Le Guin; N.K. Jemisin; Markus Zusak; Astrid Lindgren; Tove Jansson; Greg Rucka; G. Willow Wilson; Mariko Tamaki; Chris Claremont; Joe Kelly; Mark Waid; Joan Aiken; Peter S. Beagle; Gail Simone; Grant Morrison.

Fun Fact: I have a chocolate Burmese cat.

@samasmith23 , @sweetiehoneysugarsatan, @simdertalia, I challenge you.

Okay so uh I got tagged in a tagging game so guess I'm doing this shit now.

Nickname-Bobby, sometimes I jokingly go by RNJesus due to my initials and luck that flips back and forth like a metronome

Sign-Libra. I'm looking at the wikipedia page and I have no clue what 90% of this shit means.

Height-5'9.

Last Thing I Googled-Astrological signs because I forgot what corelated with what. I think they're stupid.

Amount of Sleep-Normal nights it's 10:30-7:30 so 9 hours. Nights where I don't have shit going on tomorrow I stay up till 11:30-anywhere between 9 and 12:45. So 13 hours hypothetically but this doesn't count the time it takes for me to fall asleep or when I wake up in the middle of the night randomly.

Dream Job: Don't have one. I'm studying to be a Computer Engineer though since that's what my father did.

Wearing-Sweat pants and a green jacket/hoodie. Sometimes I switch it out for a red one. Other than that, I just wear that every single day. It's become my iconic look at this point.

Movies/books/media that summarize you: I love soulsborne stuff. Not sure if it summarizes me but I'm not sure any media does.

Favorite Song: None. Like seriously, you gotta specify which genre, whether it can be game music or not, mainstream or indie youtube creators, etc. Aviators is one of my favorite indie creators though and I love the band "A Fall to Break"

Instrument-I played recorder once in 4th grade. I was semi good at it. Does this count? I do like singing and I like to think I'm pretty decent at it.

Aesthetic- Look at my posts dumbass(affectionate). Bloodborne's gothic horror isn't something that is easily beat.

Favorite Author- Jeffery Deaver and Micheal Conelly.

Random Fun Fact- I'm like one of 2 straight guys in my friend group, and the other is a british skin walker so does he really count as human?

I tag: @ferno-does-random-shit

[derviann]

So I am friendly towards Evil Beagle Games, a very nice gaming company through Teh Ebil Bunneh is a longtime contact of mine (professionally called Matthew Keyes) so when I strarted building dice I wanted to make a few for people I know and like and EBG is up there on the list.

Working on a d6 for a Gaming company and damn if this doesnt look like letters rising from chocolate.

So check them out. After you check out the dice I make on Turningdice.com

[rpgsandbox]

Welcome, Heroes!

This Kickstarter will fund the release of Prowlers & Paragons Ultimate Edition, the second edition of our superhero roleplaying game, and the companion volume Pinnacle City’s Most Wanted, a compendium of villains and information about Pinnacle City.

We also hope to fund two supplements: Modern Gods, an epic modern-day superhero sandbox setting by Sean Patrick Fannon, and Blood & Justice: Shadows of Nocturne, a gritty and mysterious "Iron Age" superhero setting by Bill Keyes.

If things go really well, we have a few surprises in store, as well.

Originally released in 2013, Prowlers & Paragons proved to be a sleeper hit that developed a loyal fan base and made its way onto a few “Best Of” lists, despite its cult status.

After five years of playing, expanding, revising, and updating the original game and listening to your feedback, Mastermind Len Pimentel called in "Henchman #1" Sean Patrick Fannon to help him create Prowlers & Paragons Ultimate Edition.

The spirit of the game remains the same, but the rules have been taken apart, refined, and carefully put back together. The new and improved rules have more depth than the original game engine, but they make for a faster, easier, and more exciting experience.

GAME MECHANICS

Want a preview of the game? Download the free Quickstart Rules here!

Prowlers & Paragons Ultimate Edition is designed to let you play any kind of superhero game you can imagine. Because we aren’t tied to a specific world, setting, or property, we made sure you can play characters of any power level, from street-level vigilantes to iconic mega-heroes who deal with intergalactic threats. Whether you're dodging bullets or battleships, we've spent the last five years finding the perfect balance of abstraction and crunch to make sure the game is just as fun either way.

We also made sure you could tailor the rules to suit your style of play. From lighthearted Saturday morning cartoons, to modern day comic books or superhero movies, to the dark and grittier side of supers, you can do it all in Prowlers & Paragons Ultimate Edition.

Character creation is fast and flexible, using a simple point-buy system that gives you lots of choices and enough detail to make those choices matter. Once you know what you’re doing, you can throw a character together in minutes and create exactly the type of hero you want to play.

Don’t know what you want to play? We’ve all been there. That’s why there’s an optional Random Hero Generator to help you get going. Or you can use one of the 15 fully playable heroes provided in the core rules.

Prowlers & Paragons Ultimate Edition uses ordinary 6-sided dice and a simple yet robust dice pool mechanic that makes action resolution fast and exciting. The rules allow for both narrative and traditional success-or-failure based task resolution, letting you play however you prefer. In fact, you can use both methods at the same table!

Whether narrative or traditional, the rules are designed to keep you in your character’s head. When you play Prowlers & Paragons Ultimate Edition, you aren’t playing an author, narrator, or comic book publisher: you’re playing a hero!

Combat is fast and cinematic, striking a balance between abstraction and simulation that gives players meaningful choices without bogging them down. We’ve even used these rules to run epic battles with hundreds of combatants on the table!

If you're ready for that preview, you can download the free Quickstart Rules here!

READ ALL ABOUT IT: TESTIMONIALS!

We introduced Prowlers & Paragons Ultimate Edition to Bruce Harlick, Steve Peterson, and Ray Greer, three guys who know a thing or two about superhero roleplaying games, and here's what they had to say.

BRUCE HARLICK (Editor, Writer, and Designer for Champions and many other tabletop and electronic games): "P&P is an elegant super heroic system that is loose enough to let people play larger-than-life heroes while still providing enough crunch during conflict resolution to be totally satisfying. It's like a bridge between the crunchy games of the 80s (Champions) and the modern day aesthetic. It plays fast and fun and players' actions are only limited by their character conception -- and their imagination. Two toasts from Foxbat's Secret Lair on this one!”

STEVE PETERSON (Co-Creator, Champions; Original Partner, Hero Games): "P&P is a smashing amount of superheroic fun that I've enjoyed playing. And did I mention fistfuls of dice?  If you like a game that's fast-moving and gives you the feel of your favorite comic-book heroes, P&P delivers.”

RAY GREER (Writer & Designer, Champions; Original Partner, Hero Games): “I really had a fine time with the playtest. It offers a really interesting balance between flexibility and customization for character creation. And it is rich in detail without feeling like a miniatures game for combat. The highest compliment I can pay is that if we were designing Champions today, there are several ideas I’d have liked to steal wholesale.”

THE CORE BOOKS

When our diabolical plan comes to fruition, the two core books we'll be releasing as part of this Kickstarter campaign are the Prowlers & Paragons Ultimate Edition Core Rules and the Pinnacle City's Most Wanted villain sourcebook.

Let's take a look at each!

Prowlers & Paragons Ultimate Edition is a full color book that contains everything you need to roleplay in any kind of superhero setting. It includes …

Streamlined rules designed to help you create exactly the hero you want to play, from street-level prowlers to iconic paragons and everyone in between.

An optional Random Hero Generator for when you just don’t know what kind of hero you feel like playing.

A simple and intuitive system for advancement that lets you decide how quickly the heroes develop and ties advancement to reaching milestones in the story.

A core game engine that allows for either a narrative action resolution or more traditional action resolution system, and in fact lets you use both in the same game.

A fast-moving combat engine that emulates all the action and excitement of comic book combat. Plus optional rules to make your superheroic slugfests as four-color and fantastical or gritty and realistic as you like, letting you set the tone of your game.

A huge list of weapons, armor, gear, and vehicles you can use in your games, plus rules for superheroic gadgets, customizing your gear, and building your own headquarters.

Guidelines for using the game’s narrative ruleset to handle disasters, hazards, hostile environments, and other extreme conditions and situations.

A massive library of animals and extras—some ordinary and others less so—plus 15 fully fleshed out villains and 15 ready-to-play heroes.

Loads of advice, tips, tricks, shortcuts, strategies, and suggestions to help you create nefarious villains, exciting adventures, memorable campaigns, and game sessions that feel like a comic book stories instead of super-powered dungeon crawls.

Designed as a combination rogues gallery, adventure supplement, and setting guide, Pinnacle City’s Most Wanted is intended to help make life as easy as possible for gamemasters. Within its pages you’ll find …

An assortment of opponents and supervillains of varying power level, from street-level criminals to cosmic beings that threaten the entire planet, if not the entire galaxy.

Every villain described in enough detail to let you use them as they are, but with enough room for you to make these characters your own and fit them into your game word.

Every villain's entry also includes a description of an important location in Pinnacle City or in the greater Pinnacle City Universe, plus a number of adventure seeds.

A variety of groups, organizations, and peoples, from assassins’ guilds to ninja clans, organized criminal enterprises to shadowy government agencies, technological overlords to supernatural underworlds, hidden races to alien invaders, and more.

As with villains, every group, organization, or people is described in enough detail to give you a taste of who they are while leaving room to make them your own, and each description includes additional adventure seeds.

To combat all these menaces, the book introduces readers to AEGIS, one governmental organization the heroes might actually consider their ally. Maybe.

Last, because players may one day grow tired of doing the right thing and yearn to take a walk on the wild side, the last Chapter of this sourcebook includes rules and advice for playing the villains and running villainous games.

The main purpose of this Kickstarter is to give these books the treatment they deserve and provide you with the best product out there, one filled with full color artwork by amazing artists. As of the time this Kickstarter went live, the status of each book is as follows:

Prowlers & Paragons Ultimate Edition is already complete, fully written, edited, and ready for layout.

Pinnacle City’s Most Wanted is nearing completion. Should it fund, we expect the book to be fully written and edited and ready for layout within 30 to 60 days after completion of this Kickstarter.

Modern Gods [stretch goal sourcebook] is nearing completion. Should it fund, we expect the book to be fully written and edited and ready for layout within 30 to 60 days after completion of this Kickstarter.

Blood & Justice: Shadows of Nocturne [stretch goal sourcebook] is nearing completion. Should it fund, we expect the book to be fully edited and ready for layout within 30 to 60 days after completion of this Kickstarter.

Kickstarter campaign ends: Mon, April 8 2019 5:00 PM BST

Website: Evil Beagle Games

[rpgcovers]

Prowlers & Paragons ~ Evil Beagle Games/LakeSide Games (2013)

A new edition of Prowlers & Paragons is currently being kickstarted.

(Finishes Mon, April 8 2019 5:00 PM BST)

[shychick-52]

Boyd Gearloose. 10, 11, and 23 for the character ask game please. 😊 ❤️ I know it’s been a while so here’s a link https://www.tumblr.com/shychick-52/717346931335217152

Describe the character in one sentence

A pure, sweet, innocent real boy with a heart of gold and tragic past who deserves the world.

What’s the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

Gyro, because he's so integral to Gyro's past (their relationship and the kind of man Gyro used to be before everything went south), present (why he always was the way he was), and future (including healing, improvement, and development, with help from his beloved son Boyd).

Future headcanon

Fenton became an uncle-figure to him, and his hero/mentor just like he is to Huey.

And bonus answer, because I accidentally answered this one before realizing it wasn't one of the questions you chose:

Your favorite friendship they have

HUEY. They just get each other. Their bond is so precious. Not only do they have so much in common (passion and pride for the Junior Woodchucks, efficient and system-oriented, fascination of knowledge and learning- including history), but they are both incredibly nd-coded (only Boyd is a literal robot, and nd kids are often compared to robots just like Huey was by Bully Beagle in the start of 'Astro B.O.Y.D.'). They just have the most amazing friendship, and Huey's protectiveness of Boyd is so sweet. And if Huey had never helped Gyro see the truth about his and Boyd's pasts- the missing puzzle piece- Gyro wouldn't have seen how wrong he was and snapped Boyd out of Akita's evil programming, and Boyd would have ended up destroyed for good by Gyro or Inspector Tezuka (and the city destroyed again).

[thecreaturecodex]

Xenomorphitude

Or: Rating the Xenomorph Knock-offs of D&D and Pathfinder

The xenomorph of Alien, Aliens and a bunch of other movies that aren’t very good is one of the most distinctive film monsters. Which means it’s one of the ones that’s most widely copied, ripped off and cited as “inspiration”. Multiple monsters with decidedly xenomorph-like characteristics have appeared in D&D and PFRPG over the decades. Here’s a survey, in loosely chronological order.

Xill

This is included mostly as a formality. The xill isn’t inspired so much by Alien as by Alien’s own inspiration. Voyage of the Space Beagle is a SF novel collecting multiple short stories, one of which features the “ixtl”, which lays its eggs in a crew-member and cannot be killed with conventional weaponry, so is launched into space. The “xill”, first appearing in D&D 1e’s Fiend Folio, is a take on that monster, although it gives them weapons and makes them explicitly sapient. It was promoted to the core Monster Manual in 3.x, which is why it appeared in Pathfinder RPG (and has ended up more prominent there than in “real” D&D for the last 15 years.

Oddly, the xill’s most recent appearance in D&D is in the 5e Mordenkainen’s Folio of Fiends, a semi-canonical book written by Mike Mearls and sold online for charity. The xill’s appearance in that book is the most xenomorph like yet. And yet, it’s said that they abduct people to the Ethereal Plane for “unknown purposes”. It’s to lay eggs in them, guys. We know this.

Xenomorphitude: 2/10, included mostly for completeness sake. 6/10 for that 5e version.

Yitsan

Appearing in the Spelljammer Monstrous Compendium II, this is visually and mechanically a straightforward take on an Alien ripoff (although I love the pointy ears!). Unlike the original, the yitsan isn’t a parasitoid. Presumably the authors of the book realized that in D&D, a character that gets something latched onto them from a mysterious egg is going to get cure disease at the first possible opportunity. Instead, its eggs mimic gold coins, so the PCs will be happy to take them aboard! Xenomorphitude: 8/10. Pretty darn xenomorphy.

Hivebrood

This is a Mystara monster. They seem to be a slantwise take on the Tyranids of Warhammer 40,000 as much as a conventional xenomorph clone. They reproduce by implanting their larvae into humanoids, the hybrid stage of which is called the broodling. These broodlings psychically transmit their skills to a controller, which can then grant them to the various warriors of the hive. Interestingly, they’re neutral in alignment as opposed to some variation of evil.

Xenomorphitude: 3/10. If not for the broodlings, I’d peg them as just another colonial insect species, like the formians or aspis.

Kythons

Moving now into 3rd edition, these guys are definitely stolen from the Tyranids, as they were originally written to give Monte Cook an excuse to use Tyranid miniatures in his D&D game. They win points for flagrancy of the ripoff by laying eggs that look like “wet stones”—but these can also supply weapons instead of just new individuals! Hey, that’s a thing the Tyranids can (sort of) do! They also don’t have a Queen Alien, instead mutating into “slaymasters” or “slaughterkings”. Because the Book of Vile Darkness is nothing if not subtle. 

Xenomorphitude: 7/10. You look at these guys and go, “oh, it’s a xenomorph”, but they have enough tricks to keep you on your toes. Most of these tricks were stolen from a different xenomorph ripoff, but still.

Grendelspawn

Appearing in the d20 Modern Urban Arcana book, they basically have no flavor text except “yeah, they kill indiscriminately. The hunters protect the queen”. Apparently they can be trained as guard animals. Weyland-Yutani had the right idea, it seems.

Xenomorphitude: 10/10. Take this one to the bank, boys. It’s just a xenomorph with eyes. The most interesting thing about it is how brazen it is.

Kruthiks

The kruthiks seem like a way to water down the kythons to make them palatable to publish in a more mainstream book than Vile Darkness. They come in three basic varieties, although the largest being a “hive lord” wasn’t established until 4th edition. They have also been getting progressively less like a xenomorph in appearance, with the 5e version being decidedly more reptilian:

Xenomorphitude: 5/10. Basically the most generic “yeah, it’s a xenomorph but…” I can think of.

Essence Reaver

From the Secrets of Sarlona book in Eberron, these creatures are described as being “wingless dragons” that hunt down psionics users and drain their mental energy before eating them. Looking at their stats, only the presence of a barbed tail might make you think “xenomorph”, but then you get to that illustration!

Xenomorphitude: 3/10. You got your dragon in my xenomorph! You got your xenomorph in my dragon!

Akata

I’m using the Starfinder illustration because it’s better, but these alien tentacle dogs appeared before Pathfinder RPG split off from D&D 3.5, in Children of the Void. Their bite infects people with their worm-like larvae, which turn them into slug-tongued zombies until the tongue breaks off and grows up into a new akata.

Xenomorphitude: 1/10. I had to be reminded that they’re supposed to be xenomorph analogues. The zombies remind me more of Night of the Creeps.

Lunarma

Tentacled parasitoids from space, the lunarma seem to be the crossover of the Venn diagram between “xenomorph” and “metroid”. I do like the barbed defense ability—the fact that fighting a xenomorph in melee will get you killed by its passive defenses is something that gets ignored by most ripoffs and clones.

Xenomorphitude: 4/10. Different enough to be its own thing, similar enough to make the inspiration clear.

The Hive

Appearing in Horror Adventures for Pathfinder, the Hive creatures have a proper queen/warrior/larva caste system and a parasitoid life cycle with a twist. If you get infected with the larvae but cured, you can start to mutate into an aberrant creature, making use of the Corruption mechanics introduced in this book. It’s the rare xenomorph ripoff that takes inspiration from the later movies (namely, it appears to be “what if Alien: Resurrection made a little more sense?”).

Xenomorphitude: 9/10. About as blatant a ripoff can get without making copyright lawyers’ ears perk up.