#Everyone wish happy days to mar and go read pretty words

[courfee]

Here’s the thing nobody tells you about living. It’s easy, really, once you get the hang of it.

— orange slices and sunrises by @messymoony <333

[mythicamagic]

Unorthodox: a Sesskag oneshot

Summary: Kagome is pleasantly surprised to receive a present from Sesshoumaru for White Day... until she glimpses the contents inside her gift box.

AN: Written for the Sesskag 2021 Big Bang event on tumblr! @chierafied​ 

I was paired with @milomai-art​ and here’s their lovely artwork: https://milomai-art.tumblr.com/post/648766972634513408/unorthodox-mythicamagic-inuyasha-a-feudal

Rated K+

Words: 3,000

You can read it on Ao3, Dokuga or fanfiction.net. 

Unorthodox

Valentine's day had come and gone, with a notable difference this year for Kagome compared with the last lonely three;

Her return to the Sengoku Jidai.

To celebrate reuniting with her beloved friends, she'd gone all out. Everyone received gifts, right down to Myoga and Jaken; no one had been excluded.

For all her efforts, however, she expected nothing in return. Though she'd explained the concept to the Inutachi, Sango and Miroku were much too busy looking after their children to keep track of dates, Shippo was often away at Kitsune school and Inuyasha had been absent as of late. Besides that, since their relationship had ended, the subject of Valentine's had become an awkward one. She'd had to stress the platonic intent behind her gift to him.

Therefore, Kagome had pretty much forgotten all about White Day by the time it rolled around.

Exiting Kaede's hut with a tub of water in her arms, intending to give the old miko's horse a good scrub down, she dug in her heels the second exquisite silks, armour and a fur pelt registered- having blinked into existence before her. Kagome gaped, swaying. Water sloshed, some spilling to their feet.

"Uh hi," looking up at grave, handsome features, she arched a brow. Sesshoumaru stared at her fervently. "Nice to see you, Sesshoumaru," adjusting her grip, Kagome sidestepped him and flashed a warm smile, used to his minimalistic approach to conversation by now. "Do you need something? Inuyasha isn't here. I think he's helping the next village over repair a-"

"I am not here for him."

Kagome noted his succinct tone, sounding more defensive than usual. Setting down the wooden tub carefully, she straightened, tilting her head. "Then what are you here for?"

"White Day."

"White... ah!" Kagome gasped, "that's right! How did you know about that?" she blinked, noticing he looked extra grumpy today. His jaw ticked, golden eyes narrow. Slowly, the miko brightened. "No way. Did you... get me something?" she breathed, strangely touched.

Of all people, Sesshoumaru had remembered? Was she dreaming?

A hand thrust out stiffly towards her, balancing a small box upon his palm.

Accepting it with thanks, heat touched her cheeks. Weird. She really shouldn't be indulging this- or feeling kind of happy. It didn't mean anything to be pleased, right? Was she even allowed to feel warm and fuzzy towards her ex's brother?

Opening the lid, Kagome tried to squash her excitement- peering down. Slowly, she reached in, retrieving a silky soft thing.

It appeared to be made of something long, silver and fine, the material woven into a pretty design. A bracelet of silk, if she could hazard a guess.

"Um, thank you," Kagome raised her gaze. "What's it made of, out of curiosity? It's very soft."

Sesshoumaru appeared pleased, preening a little. "Only the finest material."

"Really?" she stroked it. "I hope you didn't go to any trouble on my account."

He scoffed, midsummer gaze smiling slightly as his tone became haughty and prideful, "it was no trouble to use this one's own hair."

Kagome dropped the bracelet back into the box. "Whut?"

Lithe fingers combed indulgently into his fall of lustrous silver hair, "you need not be alarmed. The strands grew back quickly."

That isn't what's alarming me, Kagome silently screamed. Now that she was paying attention though, the pale bracelet really did resemble the demon lord's long flowing locks.

Her hand recoiled a little from the box. "W-well, um... thank you very much," Kagome said thinly. "It's a very thoughtful gift. Truly."

Sesshoumaru's keen, piercing eyes roved over her strained features, voice deepening. "If you do not wish to accept it-"

"N-no, I do! I'll wear it right now!" Kagome grabbed it madly, fiddling with the thing while repressing a shudder. She tried and failed to secure the clasp, stiffening when large hands closed over her hand.

The demon lord leaned forward- that same hair currently being secured around her wrist falling free from behind a pointed ear. Silver strands draped down like a gossamer curtain, tickling her flushed, sensitive skin.

Sesshoumaru tilted his head up, expression unreadable.

Shifting her wrist, Kagome observed the threads of hair wrapped around it. His bracelet felt odd, the concept totally foreign. However, she could feel how much the gesture meant to him. She didn't fear offending him because of his dark temper- more because she cared about his feelings and wanted to nurture any hint of a bond between them.

"Thank you," Kagome said. "No one else brought me anything today, so I'm...I'm grateful."

Even if it was the weirdest thing she'd ever received. A bracelet made of hair wasn't exactly traditional.

Straightening, Sesshoumaru's lips thinned as his eyes flickered with confusion.

Kagome blinked, wondering what else he'd envisioned her saying.

"Hn," inclining his head regally, he pivoted sharply and began stalking away quickly, giving a swift kill to the conversation.

---

Without a frame of reference for how long he desired her to wear it, Kagome tugged her sleeve down to hide the bracelet from curious eyes during the next few days. She tried to ignore the sensation of hair continually brushing her skin.

"I wonder if it means something important," Kagome examined it while sprawled out upon a grassy hill, taking a break from her miko duties Kaede had started dishing out ever since her return.

Sesshoumaru had seemed extremely serious while giving it to her. Then again, the gift could've meant nothing. Maybe his hair was just THAT valuable in the Daiyoukai's opinion. She snorted, twisting her wrist and watching silver threads catch on sunlight, making it shine white. "His ego is big enough. I'd believe it. Heh, maybe he'd also give me one of his eyelashes, or a fingernail or..."

Why was Sesshoumaru heading towards her?

Sitting up and fussing absentmindedly with her hair- removing a few stray leaves- Kagome felt heat flood her face.

Okay, no- she shook herself, putting a firm lid over the butterflies taking flight in her stomach. Too strange. Enough of that.

The Daiyoukai stopped a few feet away, expression detached. Kagome knew by now to ignore it in favour of looking into his eyes. They were intent and unblinking today, hinting at his seriousness.

"Hi," she said, patting a spot next to her. "It's rare for you to visit the village again during the same week. What's up?"

Sesshoumaru cocked his head to the side at her odd term. Kagome bit her lip, finding it endearing. Her attention strayed, noticing yet another box sitting innocently upon his hand.

She paled. Oh no.

Gracefully sweeping himself down onto one knee- he thrust the new box out towards her, giving Kagome a dizzying sense of Déjà vu.

I was joking about the fingernails. Please be something normal. Please.

Accepting it gingerly, blue eyes flicked up towards him. "White day is over, you know."

"This one is aware."

"So...why the new gift?"

Sesshoumaru pretended to be interested in the gentle bubbling stream not too far away. "Because it pleases me to give it to you."

He was so difficult to figure out. Not wanting to squash his newfound sense of generosity, Kagome carefully removed the lid.

The contents did not look promising.

Trying not to jump to conclusions, she reached in and removed the long necklace. A single solitary tooth hung from the chord.

"Ah," Kagome squinted. "Open your mouth a sec."

Sesshoumaru's lips parted wordlessly, mouth opening wider to reveal a gap where one of his sharp canines used to be.

"This...is yours?" she asked weakly.

Sesshoumaru closed his mouth and nodded primly. "It will serve you well, should you have need of it."

In what way would I ever have need of a tooth? a wrinkle marred her brow as she considered it, coming to a small realisation. "To make a sword from?"

"Hn."

Well, that explained a small piece of the puzzle. In a very 'Sesshoumaru' way- it almost seemed a little sweet, practical even.

However, this did not help assuage her naturally squeamish reaction while looking at the freshly plucked tooth.

"Thanks," she said lamely. "I-I'm sure it'll be very useful if I visit Totosai in the future."

Her answer didn't seem to be what he was looking for. Sesshoumaru's gaze flitted from her to the dangling fang. "Females... prefer jewels, make-up or clothing, I suppose."

Kagome scratched her cheek, "depends on the lady- but you really don't have to worry, Sesshoumaru," laying a hand over pale knuckles resting upon his knee, she gave a squeeze. "I'm touched you're being so thoughtful. There's no need to give me anything else though, I have more than enough."

His nostrils flared, jaw setting stubbornly. He drew himself up to stand, "you are too modest."

Feeling thoroughly discombobulated, Kagome could only watch as he pivoted with all the grace of a dainty dancer, stalking away with billowing sleeves.

---

For two weeks, Sesshoumaru continued visiting the village at random intervals. His flair for turning up at the most unexpected times made it difficult for Kagome to anticipate his visits. Sometimes he'd arrive bright and early, others- nearing nightfall. Occasionally he'd visit Rin, but their interactions seemed distracted. Rin would whisper fiercely to him while gesturing in Kagome's direction, but he'd ultimately leave without speaking a word to the miko.

It was odd, confusing. She'd used to think of Sesshoumaru as a fairly straightforward demon. As of late, he'd been downright unpredictable and... flakey. She kind of missed their previous easy interactions when she'd pick herbs and prattle on while he occasionally offered a word or two. His silence had felt comfortable rather than awkward.

I don't know how to get that back, Kagome thought sadly.

A chilly wind passed by, breeze rushing around her exposed neck. Adjusting her miko garb, she sneezed, shivering a little. Autumn would soon be on its way.

The heat of an intense stare sent a new chill down her spine. Kagome turned, sensing it- only to find Sesshoumaru gazing at her intently.

Was it her imagination, or did he seem absurdly pleased? As though struck by a revelation.

As was typical behaviour for him, the demon lord began walking away without a word.

---

Trudging back from training in the woods, Kagome shouldered her bow while walking around a thick tree- only to quickly stop, almost bumping straight into polished armour.

Sesshoumaru stood before her, holding another box. This time it was larger, more of a rectangular shape.

"M-more?" Kagome squeaked. Her heart thundered. It felt like so long since they'd last spoken.

Sesshoumaru inclined his head gravely, "hn."

Biting her lip and somewhat dreading what cast-off part of him could be inside this time, Kagome grasped the lid and removed it- only to slam it abruptly back down.

"What… what is that?" she asked thinly.

Sesshoumaru's lashes fell shut and slid open in an unruffled blink.

"My fur."

I thought as much.

Kagome removed the lid with trepidation once more, lifting out the lush, soft coat. Even while her hands sank into the cloud-like material, blue eyes remained wide with distress.

Sesshoumaru seemed to guess her line of thinking. "It is discarded fur that I have shed, not cleaved off. Do not worry."

"O-okay," she said thinly. It's still weird though. Too weird. Imagine if I'd made a coat of shed skin.

It was so odd that Kagome felt a line needed to be drawn, placing it back into the box and numbly accepting it from him. "Sesshoumaru… I have to put my foot down now. I appreciate your gifts but I can't accept any more."

He stiffened, the burning embers in his eyes freezing into glassy orbs.

Kagome rushed to explain, "it's very sweet of you, and I appreciate the thought. I'm just not, uh…sure they're suited for a human. Besides, you seem to be worrying about what to get me instead of talking to me. I'd rather we just spoke like old times instead of this awkwardness."

"I see," he said stiffly.

She took a step forward, eyes widening when he took one back and turned. "This one did not intend to give you things deemed inappropriate and unwelcome. Farewell."

"Wait-!"

Too late, Sesshoumaru blurred away from her outstretched hand.

Kagome grit her teeth, sighing and balancing the box on one hand. Damn it.

Slowly, Kagome lowered the box onto a tree stump and gingerly lifted the coat. It felt lush and divine, her hands disappearing within the sheer volume of fur. Sliding her arms into the sleeves and putting it on, Kagome wrapped it around herself, feeling like she were enclosed in a giant fluffy cloud. His static youki brushed her skin intimately, fanning out from the strands.

It was big. It was a little ridiculous. It was wonderful.

Kagome groaned, burying her face in her hands. Sure, the idea of him collecting his shed fur to sew into a coat was strange by human standards, but actually wearing the coat, she now understood his simplistic intent.

He'd just wanted her to be warm.

"You're such a weirdo," she grumbled, blushing and dipping her nose into the fur. It smelled like him; wild forests, with the hint of refined smoke from a pipe.

Maybe she was weird too.

---

He was absent for an entire month.

Sesshoumaru figured it would help ease the sting of rejection. The second he caught Kagome's fragrance, however, it was like an old wound had been ripped open again.

His lips thinned, firmly keeping all emotion locked tight behind a placid mask as he visited Rin.

Chatting with the girl allowed him to soothe his stung ego for a while, distracted by Rin's news about the village and her training. Occasionally she would mention the miko and his chest would tighten again. How pathetic of him.

Once his cup lay empty and Rin mentioned the need to leave in order to assist the older miko, Sesshoumaru took his leave.

Stepping foot outside Kaede's hut, however, he froze.

Kagome stiffened before him, swathed in furs- his furs- he dimly noted.

More than that, lithe fingers curled around the fang resting at her collarbone. The silver bracelet of his hair caught the light before disappearing beneath the length of her sleeve.

Kagome's cheeks heated, and she thrust out a box, letting it rest on her palm.

"I asked around," she muttered. "Inuyasha was clueless, and Shippo kept laughing whenever I tried to ask him what was going on. Luckily Myoga happened to stop by," blue eyes pinned him in place. "You could've told me what all the gifts meant instead of leaving me in the dark."

Sesshoumaru did not accept the box just yet. "I thought my intentions were achingly clear."

Embarrassingly so, for a proud demon.

"Not for humans!" she huffed, lowering her hands a little. "I was confused the whole time! How was I supposed to know that you were giving me a betrothal bracelet, or that the fang was for any half-demon children I might have when they need a sword? I kind of figured out the coat, but I didn't know it represented your intentions to provide for me."

Sesshoumaru stared. Oh. Perhaps he should've listened to Rin about courting the miko after all.

Cheeks scarlet, Kagome sighed, lifting the lid of her box off and removing something from inside.

"May I?"

Sesshoumaru nodded dazedly, golden eyes widening. His entire being thrummed, heart picking up speed.

Shifting closer, Kagome pushed some dark locks behind her ear, the length slightly shorter than usual. Sliding a black bracket around his striped wrist, Kagome swallowed. Her hair had been woven into a band much like his, though nowhere near as intricate.

The demon stared at it, fixated. Baser instincts purred.

Molten gold eyes slowly raised to pin her with a disarmingly reverent look. He spoke no words of poetry, no love or longing, but it was there, he hoped. Abundantly clear. Kagome seemed to recognise it for what it was now.

She smiled a little, hugging her arms and scuffing her foot. "Don't get the wrong idea; I'm not saying I'll jump into marriage with you, but it turns out I'm kind of interested in dating you. Really... interested," Kagome forced out, obviously embarrassed but soldiering on. "If it's okay, we could...do that," she finished lamely.

Sesshoumaru took a step forward, invading her personal space. She blushed exactly the way he'd hoped she would, babbling. "So the uh- think of the bracelet as a dating bracelet! Maybe down the line it could...it could become an engagement thing," she murmured, voice dimming in the wake of his proximity.

"Hn," honeyed eyes smiled, careful claws unfurling to find her chin. "That would be pleasing," he uttered in a faint rumble, tipping his head down. "I accept."

Satisfaction rolled through him fiercely as she tilted her head just so- lips meeting and brushing feather-light against his. Emboldened, Kagome's hands found the collar of his hankimono just as he took her by the waist as though entering a dance, tightening.

Sesshoumaru let his eyes flutter shut, inhaling sharply through his nose. He could smell her so bright and clear—the sweetness of tangerines, faint, exotic soaps—and her mouth so warm. Kagome kissed him, firmer, hand finding his hair- fingers curling. His breath began to roughen the longer their kisses went on. His heart chanted the truth of it all- 'yours.'

If the foolish woman wanted him, he'd already given himself to her. The ticklish brush of her hair claiming his wrist made him smirk against her mouth, glimpsing his own band of white around hers and revelling in a plume of possessive pride.

Perhaps it was unorthodox by her standards, but they were not exactly normal themselves. And so, Sesshoumaru drowned himself in the curious, raw newness of the strange miko, surrendering to all the oddities that would likely follow during their strange courtship.

End

[weepinglevi]

whos your favorite fic writer/moots and why? Got any recommendations?

first off: pls know that if you're not listed here it doesn't mean i don't like you or your work, it simply means that i have a pea sized brain. love all of u. keep on writing. i really don't want anyone to feel bad (ask nia, i've been crying to her about it).

secondly: i'm not referring to them as my "favourite" cos i can't pick favourites, never really could. maybe that's why i'm simping for so many aot men at once ahaha.

and last but not least: this is going to be a long post so i'mma do all of us the favour and put it under the cut. i feel very soft today and have been listening to the titanic soundtrack for the better half of my day. bear with me, i'mma shower you with love. go check them out!

CHECK THE DNI TAGS ON THESE BLOGS BEFORE READING OR FOLLOWING, PLEASE!

this is in no particular order.

@kojinnie: my queen of angst. the other half of the princess-duo (i came to the conclusion that we're both princesses, we deserve to hang around in pretty dresses and have the time of our lives). especially dream me home still haunts my dreams. i love how you captured the pain and fear both of them feel. and i kind of view it as the start of our friendship, what with both of us writing about the mission to retake wall maria and you jumping into my dms after the fact. love you, kojin, and i only wish you the best.

@starrynightlys: shield-maiden claire. beautiful, talented, funny claire. i love you and i am so happy to have found you here, i really am. i know i've told you this multiple times but whenever i see you on my dash - either fighting off the floch anon or you posting memes, there's a big fat grin on my face. apart from your absolutely mesmerising presence, there's also one work in particular i always come back to: the beginning of forever. you are my source of happy levi content. when the world turns dark and i want him to be happy, i turn to this fic and to your blog in general. love you and i am dreaming of us listening to some good music in a park sometime soon!

@snkslush: luv! my first tumblr wife! this alone has gotten you a very special place in my heart ahah. i love the energy you have - whenever i see you on my dash i feel happy and it's because of how you interact with others. it's like i've known you since forever because of how easily i can talk to you. and reading your filthy thoughts about connie has set off my connie brainrot more than once ahaha.

your headcanons on how the aot boys react when their s/o tells them they want to be railed and also the follow-up still has me drooling. fucking love them. so accurate as well and i'm a slut for everyone ahha

@aotwrites: my lil sunflower. lil sis, you have no idea how happy you truly make me. i love the lil talks we have and i still remember the message you sent me when you were half-asleep, i always giggle when reading it ahah. just know that if you ever want, you can come up to me and ask me weird stuff lil sisters normally ask their bigger sisters. not that i have any good advice to give, but i have a lot of reaction pics to send!

it's very hard for me to pick out one of your fics to recommend - like i said, i have a problem with choosing favourites. but if i absolutely had to, it'd be all of the stars. cried my way through it. will cry again when i reread it. i cry a lot in general.

@arumiee: mars, i know we haven't talked much but our conversation about nurse!armin yesterday is still running around in my head. i can't wait to read about either armin or eren in scrubs, istg. you're so kind and happy-go-lucky, i usually feel nervous when tagging someone on a post but with you yesterday? no problem at all. you give me a sense of safety ahaha (pls don't think i'm weird, i'm actually not. or, yes, i am but in a good way). your purify me had me wanting to take a bath in holy water after reading it. preferably a bath with eren. i guess we're both headed to hell ahaha

@odmlevis: rizrizrizrizriz. i'm laughing right now because all i think of is our last conversation and it's hard to gather my thoughts whenever my mind goes to eren and reiner. or eren and jean - or jean and connie ahaha. i'll have all of them with me in the middle, pretty please.

but back to topic: your the most hurtful things they'd say to you still has my heart breaking. absolutely broken into pieces. because somehow you managed to put all of my worst fears into it. i don't know why i reread it on the regular (i do know, i'm a sucker for pain). other than that, i'm always so happy when i read your messages and when i see you out and about, making others happy with your lil "someone told me to tell you something"-thing you do so often. you're so precious, lemme smooch you.

@onyxoverride: onyx istg your blog is the place i go to if i am down bad. down bad bad. i know we rarely talk and me saying your blog is the place i take my horniness to might come off as weird but it's the truth. i even have problems with picking a favourite because goddamn they're all so good?? what is your secret? if there's a reason for me to go to hell (other than mars' purify me) it's gonna be because of ocean spit. do i have to elaborate further? eren's titan form is fucking hot and thank you for this delicious meal ahha. i am getting all flustered rn just by looking at the lil pic on top of your fic. i will see myself out now. love u onyx you are cool as hell (and i'm nervous as fuck - you're sitting at the cool kids' table in my head ahah - that's why i am so silent around u)

@1252291: and now to you. connie 2 my sasha. erwin smiths ball whore. twIN FLAME, LIGHT OF MY LIFE. buckle up cos we're in for a wild ride. i was debating whether or not to post every of your fics here, because i love all of them so much. i came up with a better idea tho: here's your masterlist. i will talk about two of your works in particular later on, but first you're gonna have to endure me violently showering you with kisses and love.

i haven't told you this before (shocking, i know) but ever since we started talking, i feel like i have a real-life friend again. i haven't had friends in a while and i am so fucking thankful to have you. i really am. i even told my therapist about you because he asked why i am so happy all of a sudden? newsflash: it's because of you.

usually, it was insomnia keeping me up at night but now it's because i am talking to you. and you have no idea how fucking great it feels to wake up in the morning and feel tired; not because some shitty thoughts kept me awake but because i was talking to a friend. i will forever love you for this. you've been there when i was at one of the darkest and loneliest stages of my life and lit up the fucking room with your personality and humour. thank you for being my light. for giving me the same feeling i have when rewatching lord of the rings. for being you. i will stop now but you know i will keep on loving you on main until i take my last breath.

now to your works. falling in love and stay forever. i think you already knew that these are the ones i hold dearest. i still think about felix and rue. i love felix and rue and my heart hurts when thinking of them. your way with words has characters coming to life and touching your heart in a way i've never experienced before. like i said, it felt like those are my friend who died. my fingers running through levi's hair, trying to make his endless pain go away. i am crying again. thank you for creating this. if you ever find the books you've written (or write a new one) i will buy a copy. or ten. have to have some to give away so i can promote your work.

i love u connie 2 my sasha. i really do.

[thebtswritersclub]

Happy Birthday Aditi!!!!

The BTS Writers Club is here to wish our lovely admin, @ditttiii a very happy birthday! Here’s all the messages we’ve collected, from admins and members alike for Aditi day (January 14)!

Aditi! Happy Birthday! Thank you so much for being an amazing Admin. The network would not be the same without you and all that you do. I mean, just look at the layout! You do so much for us and it’s 1000% appreciated. We’re so lucky to have you! Thank you for being with us from the start and being there to help everything grow. You’re such a valued and loved member and a wonderful friend. I love you so much. Even though this past year was an absolute garbage fire, I hope that next year will be much better. You’re going to do amazing things and I can’t wait to see them! 

- Love, Eva @aroseforyoongi

 PS: Please share more pictures of your puppy

Happy birthday, Adi!!  Babe, you're an amazing person, a marvelous woman and an awesome friend. I wish you the best things in the world, that's what you deserve nothing less. I can't thank you enough for your love and support, always. Know that you'll always have in me a friend and a hype woman. Congratulations, Queen! 

- Danna @unoriginal-username15432

Aditi! Though we have only known one another for a chunk of a year, I can safely say that you are one of the best people I could have met in 2020 and I am so glad I did! I think you have so much to offer the world in both intelligence and charm and you will go so far! Keep your head up through 2021 and never let anyone tell you you cannot do whatever you set your mind to. Keep writing and relaxing and enjoying life. Also, please remember to rest and sleep! Happy Birthday!!! 

- Dean @eternalseokjin

Happy Birthday Aditi! You're so sweet and kind and I hope you have a great birthday!!!

- Donna @untaemedqueen 

Aditi

I hope you have an amazing birthday. You deserve one. You’re so wonderful, sweet, hardworking, intelligent, caring, encouraging, talented, pretty... I could go on forever. In short, you’re awesome & held in high regard. Thank you for being you & thank yo for being a vital part of BTS Writers Club & its admin team. You’re an html goddess & a goddess of kindness and looks. Your presence brightens my day & I look forward to all of our conversations.

So, to BTS Writers Clubs’ resident Goddess, Happy Birthday! 

- Lillia @moccahobi

Hello, luv 

I remember the first time we talked. I had come to you asking for advice because I was thinking about posting on tumblr, and somehow we ended up talking for hours that day. Ever since then, you have been such an amazing and precious friend to me, and I am so incredibly glad that I decided to come out of my shell that day. I am so thankful for everything about you and our friendship, and also for you quite literally dragging me into this net to meet so many other lovely people I have the pleasure of calling my friends as well. I wish you all the best, today and every other day, and never forget that I love you very much! 

- Keri @kerikaaria

happy birthday dearest aditi! i hope that you have the happiest, most wonderful, most magical birthday ever! you deserve everything good and more! sending you all of the love, hugs, and good vibes i can offer!

- Carese @honeyj00ns

Adiiiiii ily!! my lovely waifuuu!!! you work so hard and are so nice!! i married right  keep doing what you love and remember to treat yo'self!!!!

- Dae @birbdae

Lovely! It's your birthday and I would be remiss not to let you know that you are so loved and so appreciated! I hope you have an amazing day with those you love (especially Toto), and get something you were hoping for, be that quality time or a nice gift! Happy Birthday Aditi!

- Day @baepsaetan

Aditi, my love, my darling, my honey, ily. You’re such a good friend and a good wine bibi, i love u muchly and appreciate u. I’d like to thank u from the bottom of my heart for being there for me when i needed u, ty for helping me with my writing and helping me be happy, you truly are the best and there’s only one u. Keep shining u star. Keep being u, you literally are so cute and adorable and pretty like words can’t even describe how amazing u are, happy birthday to u ma love, i hope u have the greatest day bc u deserve it! I can’t offer u a hug rn but i can give u a virtual hug (sending u the biggest virtual hug) i hope it sent!  

- Ellie, signing off w a big big kiss for u @jungkooksbroski

Happy Birthday Aditi!  I hope all your birthday wishes come true on your special day! You have such a hardworking and vivacious personality, it's no wonder why I admire you a lot  I'm glad I can call you a friend of mine and I only want nothing but the best for you

- Gwen @prettyboongi

happy birthday aditi! although we haven't talked all that much, i'm glad to have met you through the net! you are such a caring and loving person and i hope you have the best birthday today and many more amazing birthdays! thank you for being you and happy birthday!

- Ivory @sunkissedjk

Aditi, you have the sweetest soul  and the kindest heart, I love our chats and how helpful you are. You've given me so much confidence, right from the get go. You never stop believing in people and will bend over backwards to help them, even when you're ill. You're so freaking talented, honestly, I just can't praise you enough. Happy birthday my lovely hareem queen, hope you have the best day!

- Ley @pars-ley

Aditi! The beautiful, amazing angel! I'm so glad I have gotten to know you through this net and I'm excited to get to know you better. Thank you for always being available to read my crap and for creating amazing works of fiction. You are one of a kind and the world is so lucky to have you in it! Happy birthday

- Mars @joheun-saram​

Hey Diti Darling, Apparently it's your birthday. Haps Borth! Ok, I know I give you hard time whenever we talk but that's because I am just a big nervous and confused mess all the time. We don't even talk that much. Even with that, I love you very much, as a chaotic sister. I just love seeing your name around. Every interaction I have with you is precious no matter how confused I come out of it. You are so sweet and so loving. I hope that you keep that light and keep growing. May this next year that approaches you is a fruitful one and bring you happiness in what ways that it can. Look up, smile bright.

-Your ever worried brother, Nep. :33 @dawndrms

lovely adi!! i'm so lucky to have met you this summer, because i'm pretty sure you're one of the first desi writers i met on tumblr  i love seeing all your posts on my dash, you're really such a sunshine and happy pill on dumblr and i wish more people saw that. your style of writing is so so so enchanting, something i wish everyone would read. in the net, you're a ray of light on everyone and i can tell that bring you so much energy and liveliness wherever you go. have a lovely birthday aditi appi, and to many more!!

- Noor @papillonsgf

Happy birthday Aditi!! I want to say a massive thank you for everything you do for the net to make it what it is. you are so friendly and helpful, you really make everyone feel so at home there! I'm so happy to have joined and met you. I hope you have a great day because you deserve it xx

- Ru @btsmosphere

Hey Aditi! I just wanted to say, happy birthday from the bottom of my heart! You've made being in here so special, helping me with everything I needed! I remember the first person to say Hello to me in the net was you! You were also the one who told me I was accepted! Your really special to me! So is your hate for Mee6 Thank you so much for everything! I wanted to give you something special for your birthday so I'll be posting Transvaal Daisies very soon! Once again, thank you for everything

- Tailia @namyoongles

Hi Aditi!!! I hope you have a wonderful birthday  I love how sincere and enthusiastic you are and how you’re always hyping us and all our ideas and i hppe your birthday matches how awesome you are

- Tanooki @crystaljins

Happy Birthday lovely Aditi! I hope this year brings a ton of happiness, positive growth, success and prosperity! I���m so happy we got to meet over this net. I love love LOVE gushing about Bollywood movies and Indian music with you and I absolutely love how supportive and helpful and kind you are.  You are awesome, beautiful and just so lovely! I’m so happy that we get to celebrate your birthday together (relatively) and I’m wishing you all the best today and onwards! Cheering you on! Happy Birthday! 

- Yours, Triv @purpletigertaetae

We love you, Aditi! Have an amazing birthday!!!!

All graphics and pictures used made with buckets of love by @kerikaaria

[kiarcheo]

Omne Trium Perfectum   

The Clarrward fic I promised @pikapals16.

Arranged Marriage AU, set in an imaginary past and world where women can rule and homophobia is not a thing but arranged marriages are.

Can read it on ao3

                                      —————————————

‘Cheer up, lass, you will want for nothing.’

It takes all the etiquette training she had ever gone through to stop her from rolling her eyes at her chaperon’s words. She knows he means well, but he is just telling her what she already knows. What is pretty much the only thing she knows. Or that she has been promised, at least. That her future spouse is abundantly wealthy. Enough to make the arranged marriage seem like a pondered, planned and advantageous choice for her family rather than what actually is. She has no misconceptions. She is on her way to a foreign land to marry someone she has never heard of before because her family hopes that over there the echoes of her....missteps will have not been heard. If you can call trusting the wrong guy a misstep. She protected her virtue, she is not an idiot. Even when she expected to marry him, she still would not give in, no matter how much he pleaded and asked and cajoled. And she has never been happier considering how it ended. But apparently nobody cared for that. Nor that she had been unaware and completely foreign to his actions. She had been his intended for years, everyone knew that, and that simple fact was enough to ruin her and her reputation.

So her family, the very same people who had chosen him for her in the first place, are now acting as if it is her fault that Thomas revealed himself to be a sorry excuse for a human being, and as if she should be grateful that they managed to find her a spouse despite everything. All the while not so subtly implying that she better not mess up this opportunity too...because they have no intention of taking her back.

And that’s how Catherine Parr finds herself travelling across nations to marry the head of the House of La Marck.

Why someone who holds three duchies and two counties needed to look so far away to find someone to marry, a complete stranger who will bring no lands, no political power, and no exceptional dowry is beyond her comprehension.

Age, looks, health, they all count nothing compared to power and money. Not matter how ugly, stupid, old or sick...if someone is wealthy enough, or powerful enough, there will always be someone willing to marry them. So why could they not find a single willing woman in the vast lands under their control? Or even nearby?

Did they look for someone who would have no knowledge of what she was getting into? For someone who would be so far removed from their homeland and family that she would have no way to escape?

Nobody will ever accuse her of lacking imagination...and none of the answers Catherine comes up with are comforting.

But then she arrives at what is going to be her new home, at least according to her chaperon. The same man who seems to decide that it might be important to let her know that her spouse is going to be a woman before leaving her in the hands of a welcoming committee that does not include her future wife…and...everything is nice.

The palace is impressive but not intimidating, and she looks forward to the tour promised by Lady Joan, who had introduced herself as the one in charge of her personal attendants. She is informed that her name is Jane but to distinguish her from another Lady Jane, who is momentarily absent, and apparently higher in ranks, she is known as Joan.

From Lady Joan to Lady Elizabeth, who fills the same position but for her spouse, to every staff member she encounters, they all seem nice. They greet her cordially, spare her too long introductions in favour of leading her to her chambers. Leave her food so that she can rest and eat when she feels like it, rather than having to put up appearances.

And yet, there is something....off. They are all pleasant and kind, but they all look at her with something akin pity.

Which she doesn’t get.

At first she thinks it’s because she looks dreadful, exhausted from the long trip.

But it doesn’t change once she is fully rested and she makes herself presentable. No, not just presentable, but putting extra effort to impress, both the household and her betrothed.

Then she wonders if perhaps it’s because of the situation she finds herself in, but all the staff has nothing but good things to say about her fiancée. Just like they seem to enjoy working at the palace. And she thinks it is genuine.

Her interactions with her future wife are sporadic and impersonal, but always cordial. Just like the first time they had met, the duchess nothing like she had expected.

‘Lady Catherine,’ the woman had bowed her head shallowly, ‘I hope you found your accommodation to your satisfaction.’

‘I did, Your Grace,’ Catherine had curtsied, ‘thank you very much. Lady Joan has been most helpful, just like everyone else.’

‘I’m pleased,’ the duchess had nodded in appreciation towards the attendants, ‘let her know if you need anything. Or anyone else. We will do our best to make you feel at home.’

Then she had swept out of the room.

She had been utterly polite the next few times they had met. Even going as far as graciously telling her she could call her Anna if she wished so, forgoing formalities. Not that she had many chances so far. Catherine imagines she is very busy. The alternative is that Anna is going out of her way to avoid her.

Still, there is nothing alarming or worryingly. She isn’t sure if she should trust her gut feelings and her reading people skills, considering how they failed her for years, leaving her blind to who Thomas really was. So she wonders if she is wrong. Maybe they are not pitying her. Perhaps they just...know things she doesn’t. Easy since she just arrived, with barely a clue about the new life she was getting into.  

She certainly feels her inexperience days later, when the palace seems to be buzzing and she has no idea why. Nor she has any idea who the young woman at the center of the activities is. Or why everyone seems to be waiting on her words. Even Lady Elizabeth seems to defer to her.

She has barely asked Lady Joan if she could make the introductions when she is spotted. Everyone seems to move aside, letting the lady approach her, an older woman at her side.

‘Lady Parr, it’s a pleasure to meet you,’ she curtsies, ‘this is Lady Jane Rochford,’ she motions to her companion, ‘and I’m Katherine Howard. I hope your stay has been pleasant so far.’

Catherine curtsies back, suddenly aware that everyone’s attention is on her. She keeps feeling eyes on her as they exchange pleasantries. It doesn’t feel malicious, like they are waiting for a misstep, but rather out of curiosity...and she is curious herself, as well as confused. Why the interest? Lady Howard had said similar things to those her fiancée did...albeit the interaction had been much warmer and longer, the young woman enquiring about her trip as well as how she is enjoying her new home and whether there is anything they could do to make the transition easier.

She soon starts to understand. Because Anna might be the head of the house, but it is Katherine who runs it. It sort of makes sense. Anna has political responsibilities as well as administrative ones for five different territories, it is not surprising that she doesn’t have the time or desire to be bogged down in running the household. And Catherine certainly doesn’t resent that she had chosen Katherine to do so, not when it clearly had been going since long before she appeared on the scene, and Katherine had been doing an excellent job at it.

As she liaises with her to organise the wedding, her future bride apparently completely disinterested in the matter, she can see why everyone looks up to Katherine, and she dares say, even loves her. Spending so much time together, especially compared to the amount of time she spends with Anna (who, however, seems to be around much more often, if the glimpses she catches are any indication), it comes to no surprise that she is closer to Katherine than to the woman she is going to marry.

Perhaps that’s why on a wedding day that sees none of the brides happy, what hurts Catherine the most is how utterly sad Katherine looks, despite her best efforts to hide it.

She only has to wait until the next day to find out the reason.

Whenever Catherine had thought about her wedding night, whether with Thomas, with a mystery spouse when she didn’t know about the identity of the new match arranged by her family, and then with Anna, she had a lot of mixed feelings. Anxiety. Anticipation. Dread. Curiosity. Nerves. What she had never expected was that she would spend it completely alone, no trace of her new spouse.

The staff doesn’t seem surprised to see her leaving her rooms by herself...nor by her asking where her wife is, making it even more obvious she had not spent the night. She is grateful they don’t comment on it...and that they don’t direct her towards Anna’s chambers because she has no idea where they are exactly, besides in which wing of the palace they are in. Luckily she is much more familiar with the library location.

‘You were not in your chambers last night.’

‘You should not have been looking for me. Not on your wedding night.’

At least someone else seemed to share Catherine’s expectations.

‘Bessie told me you were crying.’

‘Bessie should mind her own business.’

‘Kat,’

Catherine had never heard her wife so gentle.

‘What?!’

Nor Katherine being less than gracious.

‘I’m sorry.’

Katherine lets out a heavy sigh. ‘Don’t apologise. I’m sorry for snapping at you. It is not your fault.’

‘I wish it could have been you.’

‘We always knew it was impossible…’ from her tone Catherine can imagine a bittersweet smile on Katherine’s face, ‘doesn’t hurt any less.’

‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

Catherine silently walks away. She can talk to her wife another time. She needs to process what she learned, anyway. She never had grand expectations of love from this marriage. Not with her family not even telling her whom she was going to marry, just sending her on her merry way to a foreign land to wed a complete stranger. Not after meeting Anna and being treated with polite, cool detachment.

Still, she surprises herself a bit when all she feels for Katherine is a new appreciation. She had been unfailingly courteous towards her. She went out of her way to make her feel at home, certainly more than her wife ever did. Not once she had betrayed her hurt or any kind of negative feelings towards Catherine for marrying the woman she loves.

Many things appear under a new light, giving Catherine a different understanding, from the way Katherine is in charge and treated as nothing less than the mistress of the house to why Anna keeps her distance, formal and aloof, seemingly completely disinterested in her.

Which is a far sight from the bad mood she seems to be few days later. When she cautiously enquiries where Katherine is, all she gets is a curt reply that she is away on business...it doesn’t feel her place to ask what kind of business or where, but it is evident to her the absence is the cause of Anna’s discontent.

Catherine resolves to steer clear from her wife, which is usually quite an easy feat. That’s why she starts to retrace her steps as she hears Anna’s terse ‘I’m sure that Lady Anne was only too willing.’

She is out of earshot when she stops. This is her house too now. If she wants to get a book from the library, she will. And if her wife has a problem with her entering a room she is in, she can vacate it herself. What she doesn’t expect approaching the library once again is to hear Katherine’s voice.  

‘-with your wife.’

‘You did it on purpose.’ Anna’s statement sounds like an accusation.

‘I had some business to deal with,’ Katherine doesn’t come across as fazed, ‘but the timing was propitious, I admit. Giving you the time and space to get to know her.’

‘She is not you.’

‘And that’s not her fault,’ Katherine rebukes her, ‘Anna, you can’t punish her for that.’

‘I’m not.’

‘We both know that there are many ways to hurt someone-’

‘I’m nothing like-’

‘Of course not!’ Katherine interrupts her. ‘Of course not,’ she repeats softer, ‘have you at least talked to her? Explained the situation?’

‘And tell her what?’ Anna scoffs.

‘That she should feel free to find someone else too, for starters. It is unfair for you to enjoy...well, me, love, companionship, while condemning her to solitude because she thinks she owes you fidelity when you don’t give her the same. Catherine is smart. Caring. Beautiful. She will have no problems finding someone to appreciate her if you don't want to.’

‘Someone like you?’

‘Why not?’ Catherine barely suppresses a gasp because that is not what she expected Katherine to say. ‘If she’ll have me, of course.’

‘Where are you going?’ Anna calls after her. ‘Kat. Katherine. Lady Katherine!’

Katherine stops by the door, just in time for Catherine to slip into the adjacent room without being seen.

‘Be careful. One might think you’re calling for your wife.’

And with that parting shot, Katherine leaves.

.

Catherine tries to convince herself that Katherine had been joking. Or better, that she had talked like that just to needle Anna. But Katherine never makes her feel like she is spending time with her to spite Anna or to make her jealous. As a matter of fact, her wife is never discussed and most of their interactions seem to happen out of her sight, although she has no doubt that Anna knows they are taking place. So Catherine just tries to enjoy the very pleasant company and the warm feelings it brings her.

‘Lady Catherine, would you like to join me for a stroll in the gardens?’

‘What could I get you to make you call me Cathy?’ she asks putting down her book. She had obviously known about it before, but since overhearing Katherine’s comment, it has been on her mind, how there is no way to differentiate their names when spoken aloud.

‘What are you willing to offer?’ Katherine cheekily counters back. ‘Only if you call me Kat,’ she adds, taking pity on a flustered Cathy.

‘If you like this, I’m going to take you to another property, it has a path lined on both sides by cherry trees, and another with camellia. They are stunning when they are all flowering,’ Kat tells her as she looks in awe at the surrounding colourful scenery. ‘If you want, of course,’ she adds, sensing Cathy’s hesitation.

‘Just...I wouldn't want to upset Anna,’ Cathy is aware that the more time Kat spends with her, the less she spends with her wife.

‘She is welcome to join us if she wishes so,’ Kat doesn’t seem to see any issue. ‘Besides, it will be good for you to get an idea of what you are the lady of. I don’t want to presume anything, but personally I would be bored to death in your situation...so perhaps you would be interested in taking over some duties. Either from me or from-’

‘I don’t want to take anything away from you.’ Not anymore than she already did, Cathy thinks to herself.

‘What if I tell you that I would appreciate the help?’

‘Why are you being so nice to me?’ Cathy can’t stop herself from asking.

‘Why wouldn’t I be?’ Kat looks at her genuinely confused.

Cathy flounders.

‘I know how it is to be a girl in a foreign land, trying to find your place, barely knowing anybody, not even your spouse...not chosen nor liked.’

‘I like Anna.’ She doesn’t say it just because she is talking to her lover. Anna might be distant, but she has always been pleasant to her. And she has never seen nor heard of any ill-behaviour towards anyone else either.

‘She is very likeable, isn’t she?’ Kat smiles softly. ‘But it doesn’t mean it is an easy situation for you,’ she gives her an understanding look, ‘I know you are aware of me and Anna.’

Cathy gasps. She hadn’t realised Kat knew she knew. And she certainly didn’t expect her to broach the topic so openly.

‘You don’t seem to mind?’ for the first time Kat sounds hesitant.

‘I- it makes you two happy. And it doesn’t make me unhappy,’ Cathy tells her. Love would be ideal, but- ‘I count myself lucky for what I got.’

.

‘There you are!’ Anna sweeps into the library.

‘We have been going over the books.’ Kat had been showing Cathy the ropes.

Anna pointedly looks between the table where the accounting records are spread and the couch they are currently sitting on.

‘We are taking a break.’

‘You have been at it for ages, didn’t know we had so many books.’

Cathy dares say Anna sounds grumpy more than sarcastic.

‘If I am to seduce her, I will take my time,’ Cathy chokes on her own breath at Kat’s reply, ‘you should know better than to expect her to jump in my bed quickly. You should know better than to expect that from both of us.’

Anna merely grabs a nearby book and sits down next to Kat, huffing.

.

‘What can I do for you?’ Anna enquiries.

While they had been spending more time together, it had always been the three of them.

‘I was looking for Kat,’ Cathy admits. ‘She told me she would be unable to make our usual meeting, but I haven’t seen her at all since two days ago.’

‘She is away on business.’

‘What type of business?’ It comes out sharper than intended, but all Cathy can think is what could require staying overnight. ‘Where?’

‘You better not be implying what I think you’re implying.’ Anna’s reply is equally pointed. Then she peers at her wife curiously. ‘Are you jealous?’

Cathy doesn’t know what to say. It’s her wife. Asking if she is jealous of someone else. Who happens to be her wife’s lover.

Anna laughs, the lack of reply seemingly speaking for itself.

‘Proper business. She has a mind for it,’ she then graciously informs her. ‘Why do you think she runs the show around here?’

Cathy opens her mouth to answer before thinking better of it. She could be a lover without responsibilities. And she knows Kat doesn’t run just the household, but she also keeps an eye on other properties belonging to Anna too. She doesn’t know how she balances all she had shown her with other additional, apparently personal, businesses. But she understands even more why she was not upset about the idea of sharing some duties with Cathy.

.

‘I know I can’t compare to the one you’re wishing for,’ Cathy had not realised she was staring longingly out of the window until Anna’s voice brings her back to reality, ‘but would you like to go to the gardens with me?’

As they walk side by side, Cathy considers how, of all things, she had never expected to bond with her own wife over their shared fondness for another woman.

‘Speak true,’ Anna interrupts her musings, ‘you might have realised with Kat that I value honesty over politeness, especially when it’s fake.’

Yes. That should have been the first hint, how brazen and frank the younger woman was while talking to her wife, in a way no other at the palace would do, not even Bessie – Lady Elizabeth – whom Cathy had learned had been with Anna for a very long time.

‘Why call for me? When you had Katherine. And I’m sure plenty of other women around would have been willing to marry you too.’

‘Are you saying I’m an attractive prospect?’ Anna teases her. Then she gets serious. ‘Lady Catalina said you needed an out.’

‘You know my godmother??’ Will surprises ever cease? Catalina had promised that they would see each other soon in her last letter, but she had made no mention of knowing her wife.

‘Kat better than me,’ Anna doesn’t elaborate on the matter, ‘I needed a bride. Possibly one without expectations because-’

‘Kat.’

‘Yes.’ Anna had never been one for cruelty. She was getting a wife, but her heart was already spoken for.

‘We thought that someone just happy to leave, to start anew, would not care too much about love, as long as property and discretion was maintained.’

Cathy doesn’t miss the we. She can’t imagine being involved and planning for someone she loved to get married to someone else. But then again, Kat had planned their wedding...not for the first time she gets the urge to apologise to her.

‘Although perhaps we failed in that respect.’

‘Kat behaved exemplarily.’ Even while spending time together organising the wedding, Katherine had not let slip the tiniest negative feeling towards Cathy...or her affection towards Anna, not even once. Cathy would have not known if she had not overheard them...not that she will share that anytime soon.

‘And I did not?’ Anna asks, faking offense.

‘But why not marry Kat?’ Cathy has been asking herself that since she had heard them saying it was impossible. Can’t be a matter of status, Cathy had not much of it either. Kat clearly has the education and training of a proper lady. And it’s not like Cathy brought money or land or power.

‘That’s not my story to tell.’

Cathy adds it to the list of things to ask Kat, which range from how she knows her godmother to what her business is, exactly.

.

‘What a sight to come back to!’ Kat exclaims from the doorway seeing Anna and Cathy together.

Anna is immediately on her feet, reaching her in quick strides and drawing her in a hug.

‘Did you miss me?’ Kat wraps her arms around her with a laugh.

‘You know I did. I always do,’ Anna releases her from the embrace, ‘and someone else missed you too.’  

.

‘If your aim is reached,’ Anna asks, a lady on each arm, as they are walking through the gardens together, ‘does it mean that you won’t leave on business again soon?’

‘The timing was purely coincidental. Of course, I’m pleased that my absence brought fruit. But I truly had business to attend to.’

‘Was it a productive venture?’ Cathy politely enquiries, still no idea what the business is.

‘Very.’ Kat gives her a shark-like grin.

‘Nothing illegal, right?’

‘Who do you think I am?’ Kat sounds amused rather than offended at Anna’s words. ‘There is no law against what I did.’

It doesn’t sound reassuring to Cathy, who squeezes Anna’s bicep. Her wife shakes her head. Sometimes it’s better not to ask. She doesn’t look worried, so Cathy lets it go, figuring she certainly knows better than herself.

.

‘Would you like join us for a nightcap in our chamber?’ Anna surprises Cathy with the invitation.

‘Nothing untoward.’

‘Unless you count drinking. Because there will be drinking. Plenty of that.’

‘Not that much,’ Kat smiles at her reassuringly, ‘it can be in your room if you prefer.’

Cathy has never seen their quarters. Their shared ones, since they also have separate rooms, she always thought for appearance’s sake...not that she had ever visited those either. And she can't say what she expected from her first visit...but it certainly wasn’t that the three of them would be lying around, just in their nightclothes, drinking and chatting.

‘How did you meet?’ Alcohol fuels Cathy’s curiosity. Or better, it removes her usual restraints that keep it from being sated.

‘I was sent away in disgrace. For sullying the good name of the family.’ Kat rolls her eyes.

‘Kat.’

‘You’re not the only girl married off and shipped to a foreign country to be hidden like a dirty little secret,’ she continues, ignoring Anna’s slightly scolding concern, ‘sorry,’ she apologises to Cathy after a beat, realising how it came across.

‘Unfortunate but true.’ Cathy shrugs it off.

‘I was married to the former secretary of my step-grandmother, before he oh-so-conveniently left the country. I was part of his severance pay, apparently. Though I’m sure they would have given me away for free if they were not so money-hungry.’

‘She gets bitter when she drinks,’ Anna tells Cathy, who is surprised by this new side of the usually sweet Kat.

‘I used to help him in his office,’ Kat lets out an unladylike snort, ‘at least he taught me something. Which got me a job here...and away from him most of the time.’ Cathy frowns. She doesn’t like the sound of that at all. ‘And then he tragically died and I found out that he had amassed quite some riches...though I’m not sure I want to know exactly how. And he left them all to me, as long as I do not remarry. Only good thing he did besides teaching me stuff. Leaving me everything, not the clause. And coming here so I could meet Anna, I guess.’

‘And dying,’ Anna adds.

‘And that too.’ Kat nods.

Legally married is different from promised to someone like Cathy was. Marrying a widow, for someone of Anna’s status, was perhaps frowned upon, but certainly not illegal. And even if it were to set tongues wagging, Anna has enough clout to ignore them.

‘Can’t believe I’m asking,’ Cathy’s head feels fuzzy, her own brain processing the words leaving her mouth with some delay, ‘but why didn’t you marry her? I would have married her.’ Even if Kat was to lose her inheritance or whatever, it’s not like Anna could not provide for her.

‘Thanks,’ Kat giggles, ‘I would have married you too.’

‘Oi!’ Anna protests. ‘What about me?’

‘You know why I can’t marry you.’ Kat reaches out to pat her hip sympathetically.

‘Why?’

‘Do we really have to bring politics in our bed?’ Anna complains.

Cathy blinks at the possessive pronoun before turning to Kat, waiting for explanation.

‘Francis left me some lands. Quite small, but the position is…strategic. Without getting into too many details, they provide access to the sea to various inland territories. Including this one. I’m keeping the area neutral. Despite common knowledge of my...links to House of La Marck, with no official connection and no proof of favouritism…nobody will support an attempt to invade or conquer it. They like the neutrality. If I were to lose the lands, they would go to someone who will block our access to the sea. Not to mention that if I married Anna, they would probably see it as an attempt on her part to expand her territories and get sole access to the sea blocking others...and I’m sure an attack or more would soon follow.’

‘You might have to repeat that another day,’ Cathy admits drowsily, realising she had lost focus a couple of times during Kat’s speech.

Kat chortles kindly, ‘Not used to drink?’

Not used indeed. Cathy wakes up in the morning confused by the warm presences beside her but more than that annoyed by their chatting. She turns, hoping to find a pillow to hide her head under...only to roll over a body. A hand comes up to rub her back and...fine. This is good too.

‘Good morning,’ Anna’s voice cheerily greets her.

‘Why?’ is her groaning response.

Cathy feels the chest she is resting her head on vibrate against her cheek as Kat chuckles. ‘Anna has a Teutonic constitution. I learned my limits years ago. You will too with time.’

They lie in bed quietly until a knock interrupts their peace. Cathy tenses, but Anna calmly calls to come in without hesitation.

‘Oh. Should I move Lady Catherine’s chambers?’ Lady Elizabeth doesn’t sound surprised to see Cathy in bed with the two other women. As Kat doesn’t loosen her hold on her, Cathy peeks up...and yes, she doesn’t look surprised either.

‘Not so fast. Give her some time to figure things out...she might want to keep some distance from Anna.’

‘Me? Why from me?’ Cathy’s rooms are in a different wing than Kat’s too, not just Anna’s…or their shared ones.

‘I can see you point,’ Bessie agrees, ignoring Anna’s protests. ‘Would you like to break fast?’ She then asks what she had come for.

‘Could we have it brought here? Something to settle the stomach...and the head.’

Hearing Kat’s request, Bessie gives her a once-over.  

‘Not for me.’

‘Ah,’ Bessie nods, almost to herself, ‘I remember those days and you don’t look like then.’

.

As days pass, the three of them can often be found in the same room, whether working (with Cathy taking on more responsibilities for the household) or just spending time together. On one of such days, Lady Jane arrives bringing in correspondence. She hands one envelope to Anna, one to Cathy, and two to Kat.

‘Why does she get two?’ Cathy blurts out, prompting the others’ laughter. Blushing, she busies herself opening her envelope. She quickly reads the letter inside. Then she does it again. It’s from Catalina! She is going to see her soon! At a...ball? ‘Uhm, Anna?’

Before she can ask any further questions, her wife hands her her own letter. The invitation to said ball. Then Cathy looks at Kat, to see if she got something similar. After all, invitations commonly include spouses, so it makes sense that Anna would get one but not Cathy, and following that logic, Kat should get her own. But the younger woman is instead unfolding several sheets from one of her own envelopes.

‘Everything alright?’ Anna asks before Cathy can do it as they both watch a thoughtful frown appearing on Kat’s face.

‘Yes. I need to make a detour to take care of something before joining you at the estate,’ she replies while sending a meaningful look to Lady Jane, who nods in response.

‘Be careful.’

‘Always.’ Kat reassures Anna. ‘Besides, I have Rocky with me.’

Lady Jane gives them a feral grin that leaves Cathy half-terrified and half-reassured.

.

‘Tell me again?’

‘It’s the biggest ball in the land. It happens once a year and everyone who is someone is there. The ball is mostly an excuse to...trade gossip and make deals,’ Anna explains.

‘And my godmother will be there.’

‘Yes.’

When Cathy had learned of her arranged marriage, she didn’t know Catalina had been involved in organising it. She just knew that she would be able to see her again because she sometimes visited what would be her new country. During Kat’s absence, while talking to Anna, she learned that Catalina would visit them at least once a year – now she thinks in time for the ball – if not more...because apparently she is married to Kat’s cousin.

.

‘Who is that?’ Cathy hisses to Anna, glaring at the woman warmly hugging Kat for longer – and closer – that is appropriate.

‘Who knew that such a tiny body could contain so much jealousy.’

Cathy turns her glare to her wife, harrumphing both at the lack of jealousy and at the dig at her height, thus missing the object of her displeasure approaching.

‘Your Grace.’

‘Lady Anne, always a pleasure to see you again,’ Anna greets her.  

‘I trust you are treating my Katherine accordingly.’

‘Like a queen.’

‘What about your wife?’ She enquires with a fleeting glance towards Cathy before giving Anna a pointed look.

‘She treats her like a queen too.’

Cathy gasps at Anna’s reply, but Lady Anne doesn’t seem fazed. She tilts her head, ‘Is that so, Lady Catherine?’

Before Cathy can say anything, the other woman is already turning around, ‘Elizabeth! What did I tell you about this kind of behaviour?’

‘To leave climbing her to Aunt Anna.’

‘Maybe don’t say that around other people,’ Kat puts the child down, smothering a laugh.

‘Why?’

‘Because then everyone will want to climb Aunt Kat,’ Anne replies.

‘I want to climb Aunt Kat,’ another child announces entering the room.

Anne gestures to the boy, ‘See.’

Kat leans over to hug him, before standing and moving to hug another woman....And then Catalina, as she appears behind them.

‘Well, we have some last-minute matters to discuss, so we’ll leave you to it,’ Anne announces, moving to grab both Kat and the other woman’s arms.

‘Can I least introduce my wife to my goddaughter?’ Catalina stops her.

Anne rolls her eyes. ‘If your wife wants.’

Catalina holds out her hand and the third woman steps forward, a warm smile on her face.

‘Catherine, this is my wife, Jane,’ her godmother says once she leads her over, ‘and this is her son, Edward.’

‘It’s a pleasure to meet you.’

‘I look forward to getting to know you,’ Jane reciprocates.

‘But not now,’ Anne reminds her, piping up from her position next to Kat.

‘Not now,’ Jane agrees.

‘Well, kiss goodbye and we will see you at the ball.’ Anne leans down to kiss the top of Elizabeth’s head.

Jane gives Catalina a peck and whispers some last recommendations to Edward, while Kat goes up to Anna and Cathy, kissing them both on the lips.

‘Guess that answers a question of mine,’ Catalina comments as the three women leave.

‘What?’ Cathy asks, once she recovers from the surprise. She had not expected to be kissed in front of people who are not in their household. Or perhaps they are, if they are Kat’s cousins...

‘Anna and Katherine are...not an open secret, but...if you know them, you know about them.’ Catalina gives Anna a meaningful look.

One day Cathy will ask her godmother why she suggested her for the marriage knowing Anna was taken...or perhaps it was exactly that. No hope for love, but also no risk of...unwanted interest? But that’s not the day. Besides, she got love. In spades.

.

‘Heaven helps us,’ Catalina mutters as a hush falls over the ballroom at the cousins’ grand entrance.

Cathy gapes. She thought Kat was beautiful at the wedding, but she had clearly gone for understated because that was nothing compared to how absolutely stunning she looks now.

Anna squeezes arm, ‘I know, but get a hold of yourself.’

Cathy closes her mouth and then turns surprised eyes to her wife.

‘I just have plenty of practice acting as if her beauty doesn’t leave me speechless,’ Anna whispers to her.

However, that doesn’t seem to be what had prompted Catalina's reaction. ‘They truly went all out this time,’ her godmother comments. ‘Don’t look at me,’ she continues, aware of their curious gazes. ‘I might be married to Jane, but it doesn’t mean I have any idea of what goes on in that mind of hers. Even less when all three cousins are involved.’ She chances a look at Anna. ‘Do you?’

‘She has been unusually busy lately but hasn’t shared so far.’

.

Catalina raises her head as they join her for breakfast, ‘Katherine was a no show too?’

It might take a while for Cathy to get used to her godmother knowing and not caring about her and her wife sharing...a lover? Mistress? Partner? Well, Kat.

Anna shakes her head. When they had left the ballroom to retire for the night, Kat and her cousins were still flitting from one guest to another, the remaining ones at least, weaving connections and networks as they had been doing the whole evening.

‘Lady Margaret, Lady Jane,’ Catalina calls their attention, ‘do you know where-’

‘They were in the library when we passed it,’ a third woman replies.

‘Thank you, Maria.’

Indeed that’s where they find the cousins, mess of papers on the table in front of them.

‘Did you stay up all night?’

‘We needed to check that everything was correct, make sure the deals are closed properly, didn’t miss anything.’

‘Deals,’ Catalina repeats.

‘Exchanges. Contracts. Transactions,’ Anne says.

‘Of course,’ Catalina mutters. As if she should have expected anything different. ‘Is it another gamefowl farm?’

‘I still don’t see what you have against that. It’s making us a lot of money,’ Jane points out. ‘But no. You have been talking about wanting to be closer to Cathy.’

‘And you about missing Catalina,’ Kat joins the conversation, addressing Cathy. ‘And I never gave you a wedding gift.’

‘But about me?’

‘You got Cathy,’ Kat tells Anna, who nods.

‘And she stayed,’ Anne adds, receiving a small glare from Anna. It is no secret that there is an open invitation for Kat to go and live with Anne...Invitation that has been repeatedly extended since the older cousin had first heard about Anna getting married…not to Kat.

‘But the new house comes with extensive stables. Horses included. All yours,’ Kat continues.

‘New house?’

Kat rummages through the papers. ‘Where is the map?’

Jane hands it to her.

‘No, not of the land. The one of the region.’

Another one is fished out from the mounds of papers strewn around.

‘So...Anne is the new owner of this area.’ Kat points a spot on the map, then another one. ‘Jane got this. Neither have legal connections to you-’

‘So nobody has ground for complaint.’

Jane looks at them expectantly.

‘I would say it’s the lack of sleep, but it’s not,’ Anne informs the married couple less acquainted with Jane’s love of puns.

‘Catalina loves them!’

‘Why don’t we let Kat continues?’ Catalina eagerly suggests before Anne can open her mouth and get her in trouble. She loves her wife, but she is not as fond of puns as Jane is...although she has yet to find anyone with the same love for wordplays.

‘As I was saying, officially they are completely independent, but we’re still securing the borders and sea access even more,’ Kat continues, ‘and everyone lives closer. Also I got this.’

Anna looks at the contract Kat hands her, then at the map. ‘Is this the one you have been eyeing for a while?’

‘Yes.’

‘And all of this...you got it legally, right?’

The three cousins in unison bring one hand to their chest. ‘Do you doubt us?’

.

‘Lady Catherine, a minute of your time.’

Waiting until they are alone, Anne then asks, ‘What do you know about Jane’s husband?’

Cathy is taken aback by the question. ‘Not a lot. Short-tempered. Openly pursued Kat despite being married to her cousin. Died falling from a horse.’

‘What about Kat’s?’

Cathy grimaces. 'Few things.’ Kat doesn’t like to talk about the matter so she never presses. ‘None too good. Or any good at all.’

‘I’ll tell you three things they had in common: they claimed to love my cousins, they hurt my cousins, they died in unfortunate accidents.’ Anne counts on her fingers. Then she looks at Cathy straight in the eyes. ‘Would be a shame if something were to happen to you...’

With her words hanging in the air, with a casual stride Anne leaves the room...and a gobsmacked Cathy.

Seeing her standing still, stunned expression on her face, Anna approaches her wife, ‘Are you alright?’

‘What happened?’ Catalina asks, joining them.

‘I’m not sure,’ Anna answers as Cathy gives no sign she is going to do so, ‘I saw Anne leaving and found her like this.’

‘Did she threaten you that if you hurt her cousin, you will meet your untimely demise?’ Catalina asks knowingly.

‘Oh.’ Anna nods in understanding. ‘Should have thought about that. I’m sorry, I didn’t think about warning you in advance.’

‘She did the same with you?’ Cathy finds her voice again, directing her question to both women.

‘Consider it the official welcome to the family,’ Anna grins at her.

Cathy smiles at the thought before it falls. ‘Wait- did she actually kill them?’

She thought it was merely a threat. A warning. Not-

‘I have no intention to find out…do you?’

                                  —————————————

Not sure if I’m happy with this as I'm struggling to get a read on this trio, but I wanted to write some OT3 for Pika so this is what I got.

[notfeelingthyaster]

Imagine (Son of Hades! Percy; Godswapped! Big Three's kids) (8/8) or (13/13)

Blood of Olympus pt.2 - The War

Hello! If you're here, it means you probably already know - but check the masterpost for both warnings and the other twelve parts.

I want to thank everyone who followed this fanfic? Imagine? AU? for the month it took us to get here. Tell me what you thought about it, if there's anything you are anxious to see in the epilogue - yes, we'll have an epilogue!

If you like my writing, you might be happy to know that I'm starting another AU - same style, no patience for prose - this time, a daughter of Zeus! Percy. Don't worry - it bares almost no similarities to this, and part 1 will be out before the epilogue, so stay tuned. For now, good reading :))

Maybe it was the death of Malcolm, but after that night, there was something different about the crew of the Argo II. Their journey to Gaea changed them.

Will notifies them as soon as morning rises, leaving Annabeth secluded in her room and Perseus to whatever was happening upstairs - they are told not to interfere.

No one knows exactly what happened on the deck between Perseus and whoever dared to attack them - there is nothing there but sea salt and dried ichor when Frank goes to take his shift.

The screams will haunt him for the rest of his life - they pleaded for mercy, but after this journey, no one in here is a merciful person.

There's an aura - an aura Frank recognizes well, for it clogged around Hazel in her first days in Nova Roma. An aura of death. Perseus is looking at the sunrise, cleaning his gold-stained ax.

He looks happy - for the first time since Tartarus, he is humming a melody to some song that Frank is pretty sure is from Disney. Percy grins at Frank.

"Hey, man."

Frank doesn't ask. He trusts Perseus - Perseus took a whip to the back, side by side with him. Perseus fell on Tartarus for his best friend. Perseus would give his life for any of them. The son of Mars Ultor is sure he did what he had to do.

It still spooks him a little when Perseus leaves, whistling what he now recognizes as Fathoms Bellow.

They're journeying to Delos - for more half a day - and then, finally, to Athens. Frank wonders if the monsters are too afraid of them - or if Gaea just told them to stop attacking.

The fact is that, for several hours, no monster touches them again. Might be the death air encapsulating the ship's bow. Might just be their reputation.

With nothing to do, Frank watches as the sun rises and his friends starting to walk around.

Leo has no fixed hours - so he might be either awakening or going to sleep. He crosses through Frank in his post and rambles for a second - the Legionis thinks it's cute.

Leo crosses Hazel - she never wakes past eight unless she had a night shift - who is probably going to breakfast. They exchange a kiss, and Frank's heart aches.

Hazel stops to talk with Jason - the last one awake, since Perseus and Will are probably sleeping, Annabeth still hasn't left her room, and Nico and Piper went to their room after the morning announcements - probably to grief.

The blonde is uncharacteristically serious for such an early hour, but with recent news, it's expected. Frank goes back to look at the sea - and wonder if any of them will ever be free of this.

The two of them retract to the war room - to plan the attack on Gaea. They are at a serious disadvantage. It might be better for them to ride back to Long Island and try to unit the camps and plan a war - just like they did with Kronos/Mount Otris.

It's very improbable that Gaea will give the same considerations to put Manhattan to sleep. Kronos wanted power - not to destroy humanity. Gaea is a nesting mother who lost her kids - she wants chaos.

But with all giants here - wouldn't be easier to do this here? Even if they have no support whatsoever? If they tailed back to Long Island, would the giants run rampant through Europe?

They wait until after lunch - when everyone is more or less up - to congregate and vote.

"There are seventeen giants - one for each Olympian plus Trivia, Proserpina, and the Fates, except for Dyonisus who has two and the twins who share two - and nine of us."

"Fifteen" Retorts Percy from his place opposite to Jason "I killed Aristaeus - the bane of Proserpina - yesterday. And the bane of Ares... Damasen... he was a good giant. He didn't reform."

Jason doesn't argue - Perseus was the one on Tartarus - even though he wants to ask who helped him kill the giant - and if he killed them afterward.

Fifteen is still a staggering number of giants. They have no chance alone - so after Delos, they solve to make their last stand on Camp Half-Blood.

Will, Perseus, and Jason are the ones to go down to the small island. Finding Apollo is exceptionally easy: it's just a matter of following the sound of the lyre.

He laughs at their request - full-blown laugh. Jason wants to punch him - the world is ending.

"There's no need for flowers. You already have the Physician's Cure. This is a name my son gave to his union to Zagreus - life and death."

Jason wants to scream. He wants to kill Nike - who is in her island, chilling after sending them in a goose chase. But Perseus and Will are already miles ahead of him - whatever happened last night unlocked something in him, even if the gloves never left.

"You'll come to Long Island. You'll fight - for as long as needed - against Orion and Gration." It's Will - defying his own father. Jason doesn't know if he has the courage.

"Promise - on your immortality, because I don't trust the Styx."

"I could still evaporate you"

"You won't. You need us too much."

Apollo promises - maybe because he sees everything and knows more than Jason about whatever will happen, maybe because that ax still bears gold in it - and exchanges some words with Will that neither of them hear as they walk back on board to tell the news.

Will and Percy disappear into a room - it makes something stir in Jason's stomach, as he remembers that he no longer knows this Perseus, but the one he knows, he loves.

Will and Perseus talk for hours - before being invaded by Leo - only to keep talking until the next morning.

"Change course to Athens. We have the Physician's Cure. Gaea will rampage through Europe. Hercules is on her side. There's no way we can go back now."

They agree - there's no crossing Hercules little island again.

An IM from Reyna cements their decision. A group of demigods serving Gaea - including the Censor that unjustly tried Hazel and was exiled - tried ambushing she and her sister - but the Amazons and the Hunters won against them. Thalia is alive - and she drove an arrow through Gwen's eye, the traitor in Nova Roma.

The Hunters called the Pegasi - and they all set course to Athens - while Reyna followed the statue who set course by the sea. Pegasus himself is going to Athens - he fought once against the Giants, he would do again.

They reach Athens in a little more than five hours. It's the last day of their time - and they are ambushed as soon as they cross the Parthenon.

They fight well - Gaea wants Perseus and Piper, so they rally around them.

Perseus is a fighting beast himself, but he is overwhelmed by the sheer number of monsters and unable to help others. He kills the Minotaur once again - the armies of monsters are almost endless - is the battle of Manhattan all over again.

Piper strikes against the three gorgons - Medusa can't petrify anyone without petrifying her own allies - and keeps the head as a prize.

Nico is in the sky - he looks like part of the storm. The flying monsters rally around him, but Nico doesn't disappoint - his sword cuts through them like butter.

In the end, the nine annihilate the whole army - Gaea has just her giants now.

But in the fray, two griffins escape - carrying with them Jason and Hazel. Now they have no option but to follow.

Perseus almost hits his head on the wall. Why was he so dumb? Gaea was playing them. Gender had nothing to do with the sacrifice - it's just one of the sea, one of the earth. And Hazel, as much as she is a daughter of the sky, her powers exist on earth.

He could deal with the bounty hunt on him. Even on Piper - just a person to protect - but not on two. He was not expecting this. Perseus thinks Gaea must be laughing right now.

He feels guilt creep on him. That was his plan, and now two of his best friends are gone in the sky. Leo looks even worse than him - he is weeping as if the two demigods are already dead. They probably are.

Annabeth takes the reins - and they fly to the Acropolis quicker than ever. The ship slams against the ground - it probably needs repairs. But they are here.

Jason doesn't remember feeling that much pain. He wakes up, chained in a sacrificial altar, Hazel just behind him. Their powers don't answer - the chains are as dark as Perseus' ax: stygian iron. In front of them, Porphyrion and Polybotes laugh.

"We'll be glad to offer your fathers your severed heads"

He wishes to talk back - but his mouth doesn't work. It's Clytius taking his voice away, right behind them - holding a scyther that is not unfamiliar. Is the same scyther that took Uranus manhood - the same one that cut him to pieces and reduced him to the sky.

"We take an arm from the daughter of the earth, blood and flesh, so that her connection with the ground is given to our Mother, so she is able to reclaim her dominion."

There's blood everywhere. Hazel's left arm is twitching on the floor, and she lets out an ear-splitting scream, before passing out.

"We take the ability from reproduce from the son of the sea, blood and flesh, so that his fertility will be given to our Mother, so she is able to reproduce again, the ability his father took from her."

Jason feels like the world is spinning. They will... they... they want to castrate him. He sees Hazel's blood staining the marble and the floor, running through his skin, and he wants to vomit - but something is preventing him from doing so.

Hazel is paling fast - she'll be dead in thirty minutes if they don't stop the bleeding. But he can't move. He can't help. A scream strangles in his throat.

If Hazel's voice was able to cut through Clytius magic, would his powers too? If he focused enough if he stretched himself enough.

Jason forces himself to stop thinking about the chanting, and focus. He imagines Nico - with no family, losing Hazel. Or Frank and Leo. Or Perseus. He pushes and pushes.

He doesn't find a source of water - but he feels her blood. He can stop it from coming out - just for a second, just for a minute, just until they rescue them.

They are going to rescue them. They are - none of them are dying today. They have to survive this war.

Jason focuses his thoughts on good things. After this, he is going to go to college. He is going to spend time with his sister. He'll work on greek-roman relations. He'll ask the male Praetor on a date. He'll punch Octavian. Everything will be just fine.

The scyther is just over Clytius head, ready to strike when an arrow takes its place in his eye. Thalia, mounted on Pegasus, barges in. The horse is bigger than Clytius - and he takes their chains, before flying off to the arena.

Thalia cuts his chains - throwing a gladius at him. Hazel is still passed out - curled into herself in the ground. Jason stands before her, still doing his best to keep her blood inside. It won't work for long.

The giants follow them - but to no effect. The ship crashes between them, the demigods jumping off - armed to the teeth. With a scream of war, the Amazons and the other Hunters come flying in their own Pegasi.

Reyna is not with them - Jason hopes, not for the first time, that the demigod settlements are in peace. That they won't have to deal with two battlefronts.

It's not the time for petty wars. They should be here, helping, if they were not caught up in past fights of over a hundred years ago. Gaea is much more urgent than whatever they are debating.

These fighters are not enough - they are fighting a losing battle. No gods are coming, and between immortal hunters and Amazons, no one is a deity.

Jason starts thinking he is hallucinating - wishful thinking - for the sky opens, and from there descents all the Olympians and Hecate. Nike is the first to appear, guiding the chariot of Zeus, a scream of battle in her lips.

Juno is in a chariot guided by peacocks. Behind her, Aphrodite - that's not Venus, but Jason has never seen Aphrodite so ready for war. There are no doves or flowers in her - just a giant bow and arrow and a spear, riding in a horse side by side with her husband and her lover.

All twelve Olympians, plus Hades, plus the Fates, plus Trivia, Nike, Juventa, Bia, and Enyo. Proserpina is not there - nor the court of Atlantis.

Jason can't help but think is too little too late. Why they didn't show before? Before Hazel lost her leg? Before Malcolm died? Before Perseus fell? Before this journey took everything from them?

The gods pair off with their children - Hades with Perseus, Athena with Annabeth, Aphrodite with Piper, Mars with Frank, Zeus with Nico, Hephaestus with Leo, Juno with Hylla, Thalia with Poseidon.

Before pairing with Will - who looks reluctant to do it - Apollo comes to them. Jason is good enough to go - but he won't leave Hazel.

"I can't regrow her arm - not here, not now. And never, if it has been amputated by a titan weapon. The best I can do is close it."

Jason is so tired of the gods being unable to do stuff they should be capable of, but he sighs and nods. Hazel's color starts coming back, even if she doesn't wake up.

It's Trivia who comes to take the place of Jason. He stalls - he doesn't trust any deity anymore with the well-being of his friends - but they are not much, and they need him to fight. He joins Ceres as she raises a sickle to go against her bane - Asterius.

The hunters follow their mistress and Amazons divide themselves between the remaining gods - Dyonisus and Mercury - and they attack.

It's not enough. They are stretched too thin. Clytius is the only fallen one after thirty minutes of battle - Trivia burns him down in rage for her acolyte and makes a still groggy Hazel make a little cut on so he dissolves.

Perseus fights alongside his father, mounting Mrs. O'Leary as he does Cerberus. Small Bob can't die unless struck by celestial bronze, so the giant's effort to kill the creature is useless. Both of them don't hold back. It's the first time he really remembers his training with the Lord of the Dead. But mostly, he remembers Persephone too, and the gardens of the Underworld.

Percy has to go back to her. To his stepmom, and his mom, and his other stepmom. He has to go back to his life - the life he can barely remember now, but that was everything for him.

He has to go back to the gardens and the lakes, to blue cookies and bare feet. At least one of the rulers had to be in the Underworld, so Persephone is waiting for them to come back.

It gives Perseus strength. They have to win, so the earth can prosper - so that they can go back to the Underworld. So he can meet Thanatos, and play with Cerberus, and debate with Charon. So that they can be a family.

They keep fighting, but even with Perseus renewed will, there's no winning. Alcyoneus retorts them blow for blow and they tire quickly. Hades turns to him - there's a grim expression in his face when he throws his helmet to Perseus.

Perseus notices to late what his father is about to do - and is unable to prevent it.

"FATHER"

It's the first time he recognizes it. Hades has always been the lord of the dead to him - he only ever called him father in mockery. But this time, it's yelled in anguish.

"Tell Kore that I love her."

A giant blow from the Lord of the Dead makes both of them stumble. The giant falls to the floor, but not before running his sword through Hades' neck.

It's the first god to fall, and when Perseus cuts Alcyoneus' head in return, he stays dead. But it's not enough, because Hades is dead.

He'll have to tell Kore. Kore that loves Hades so much that she leaves the surface for months on end to stay with him. He'll have to tell her that he wasn't enough to save Hades.

Cerberus whine loudly and tries to wake his master - he sniffs at the ground soiled by ichor. No giant is able to approach the body or Perseus - Cerberus growls at every enemy who tries. Small Bob stays by his side, fighting alongside him.

A tear escapes his eye. After so much time, so much resentment, he didn't think he would care. His father lies on the floor like a puppet with the strings cut - and Perseus rages. He closes his father's eyes but doesn't stop - there's still a war going on, so he puts on the Helm of Darkness and goes on to join Ceres and Jason.

A scream rings through the arena - is Poseidon, noticing his oldest brother is gone. He throws his trident at Polybotes head - between him and Thalia, the giant is gone in the next ten minutes.

The god of the sea runs through the field, stepping through dead bodies and avoiding the corner where Trivia is taking care of Hazel. He clutches his brother's prone body and cries, ichor staining his clothes. Cerberus whines at his sound - it's heartbreaking.

Across the field, all four siblings cry together for their fallen brother, but none of them as badly as Poseidon. There's a cold spreading through the field - and soon enough, the sky opens again.

It's Vesta. The last Olympian - the one who stayed behind to tend to the hearth. But now, she looked as fiery as her nephew - descending from the sky with no armor or chariot. The eldest child.

Family - that's Vesta domain. Perseus never saw her fight, but she does this time - throwing herself against the closest giant - Gration.

But Hades is not the last to fall.

Between Jason and Perseus, there's no match for Asterius. Ceres cuts his head off, still sobbing for her son-in-law and brother, sobbing for her widowed child. It doesn't help when her sister falls by her side - Juno, in full battle armor, is cut in half by Eurymedon.

Perseus thinks it might be a scene worthy of being painted - her lifeless eyes stare at the sky, as her crown rolls off her and stops at the giant's feet. Hylla keeps on fighting - now joined by her mother, who changes from Enyo to Bellona.

Zeus, in rage for his wife's death, kills Porphyrion before striking against Eurymedon with his general and her daughter. Nico, even if he never cared for Juno, follows suit - there's a path of destruction behind them, where lightning bolts hit the floor and filled the ground with craters.

Dyonisus kills Elphiates with his oldest daughter by his side, but his brother doesn't die as easily. Athena is still fighting against Enceladus - Annabeth striking the giant from all angles, in perfect synchrony with her mother, with help from Nike, who shields them both with her wings.

Mars and Mercury fight against Hippolytus - but he is faster than even the god of travelers, and evade them at every turn. Frank is a dragon, and then an elephant, and a snake - but nothing hits the giant.

After a blow on the arm by Bia, Periboea spears the still masculine body of Piper. Her blood falls from in-between her legs as Aphrodite - scarier than even Ares - runs her spear through the giantess's eye, killing her.

To save her daughter, Aphrodite shifts her completely into a girl - it's jarring, and something that takes adaptation, but the only way she can keep fighting without dropping.

But it's too late, the damage is done. Gaea is awake, by the seed of a daughter of the sea. Perseus exchanges a look with Leo through the fray - Mimas is just defeated, as Hephaestus smashed his head in with his hammer, but he regenerates quickly as if nothing happened.

There's no winning anymore. The fallen giants don't rise again - the Doors are closed - but the seven remaining ones don't die either - Enceladus, Eurymedon, Orion, Mimas, Otis, Hippolytus, and Thoon - their mother healing all their injuries.

The gods that killed their banes rally together against Gaea - but it's futile. It's just like Perseus in Tartarus - there's no battling a primordial in their own turf.

Will leaves his father to battle Orion, with his sister and the hunters - as Gration lays, probably dead, across the feet of his brother, courtesy of Vesta - and joins the duo.

The three of them sprint through the muddy ground, and onto Festus. There's no winning from Gaea on the ground - but they might have one way.

"Don't let me die, okay?"

Will and Percy join hands across Leo's forehead - and try to bless him the best they can, without being gods themselves. A green sheen covers Leo - and this might be it.

Leo mounts Festus - now again a giant dragon - and rises to the sky. It is enough to attract the Earth. She leaves her battle against Vesta, Aphrodite, Bia, Poseidon, and Ceres - to go after the dragon.

"Trying to escape me, my little demigod?"

An explosion of fire rocks the sky. It's not enough to kill Gaea, but between Zeus' thunder and Leo's explosion, the primordial is unconscious.

Perseus focuses - on keeping Leo's soul in his body. Will, by his side, shines as Apollo himself - there's a sheen of sweat in his face. It might've worked

None of them have the power to kill her now - just the union of all the remaining Olympians would even be capable of rendering her asleep again.

They can't find Festus or Leo - Perseus renders this as a good sign, the sign that their powers were enough.

But for now, with her unconscious, she can't heal the giants. So the remaining gods do quick work of killing them - the last to fall is Eurymedon, with Zeus' bolt across his forehead.

The king of the gods falls on his knees and weeps. Juno is dead. Hades is dead. There are six hunters and twenty amazons remaining - from tens and hundreds.

Mrs. O'Leary died - from a stray arrow. Cerberus paws the ground where her dust is - Perseus can't even imagine his puppy back on Tartarus.

Nike - both wings pointing into different sides, spine broken by Enceladus foot - is sprawled on the ground. Her unblinking eyes stare at Athena, who is holding her hand.

"Did... did we... win?"

"Y-yes"

"Give them the... the crowns... don't forget..."

"I won't"

"There's no... no friends.... in victory. I wish I had... someone."

"I am your friend, Nike"

"My best one... don't let them forget.... champions don't die..."

"Never"

She gags in her own blood. It drips around her chin. It's the first time Perseus sees Athena cry. It hits him - they, all of them, have known each other for thousands of years.

Mars is crying by his mother's head, his spear broken on his feet. Juventa, burned blonde hair blowing around her face, hugs Hephaestus as he cries for their mother - the one that never cared for them, but that was their mother anyway.

Vesta has Hades head on her lap, while his body lays broken on the floor. Ceres is trying to calm Poseidon - but the god of the sea can't stop crying.

On the other side of the Arena, most demigods are together around Hazel - Will is explaining about Leo, but most of them look hopeless. Hazel is crying in Frank's arms.

Eight of them are here - Hazel is missing an arm, Piper went through a jarring body change and Frank has a broken leg - but eight of them are alive, and there's hope for Leo.

Perseus stands in the middle - not joining the gods or the demigods. He looks at the ichor stained floor, the upcoming battle against Gaea looming. Cerberus and Small Bob are together on each side of him.

Apollo - from where he is laying with his unconscious, but alive, sister - raises to help the demigods. None of them are happy about any godly presence - but they need treatment, so they let it happen.

Perseus is the first to break the silence after everyone is healed. Some gods are still crying - but there's no time for grief now. He doesn't look at where his father lays dead - he can't process this right now.

"We... we need to go. To Long Island. We need reinforcements - the war isn't over."

"We need to recharge" Is Hephaestus that retorts "There's no way we can fight right now. Maybe in a day or so but..."

"I don't think we have this time." Jason points "We could try and stall things, prepare... Can you send us there?"

"I can" Say Pegasus, who was fighting alongside Thalia.

Perseus wants not to care. To say that Juno or Nike deserved it. But it's not fair - not even them deserve to die, to go back to the void or Tartarus to reform or be lost for centuries.

Annabeth, however, sits in her corner with the ghost of a smile in her lips - so many demigod's lifes lost for them, for their petty struggles, and now they have to pay the price too. Everyone is paying the price now.

If they helped before, if they didn't spend months cooperating with Juno's useless plan, perhaps now no one would be dead. They could have united the demigods without waisting eight months on stupid missions to kill giants - just for them to come back.

If they stopped thinking about their "oh so bad" split personalities, maybe they could've made this journey quicker, instead of letting them spend two months going in side-quests, fighting minor gods, and retrieving useless information.

So yes, Annabeth is vindicated. This - all of this, those deaths, the ichor soiling the ground - it's their fault.

Piper feels tired. This - this body, this recognition from her mother - is all she ever wanted. But now that she has it, she can't even appreciate it. Was it worth it? She would give everything back for Perseus' leg, Hazel's arm, Malcolm, Leo.

She looks at their mismatched little family - and remembers that yesterday, they had lunch together - all of them. It was not the best moment, but they were laughing.

They could've been happy. If they weren't demigods, most of them would be in college by now. They wouldn't be broken.

Perseus solves to travel by shadows with Cerberus - he still has his father's Helm, and the immortal horse won't let him mount with it. He feels sick - that's his father's dog and his father's armor. But that's their chance of survival.

No god look at him when he melts into the darkness - it's too fresh, too painful. Part of their family is dead.

She jumps on the Pegasus, holding Hazel up - she can barely hold on to her brother in front of her. The wound is closed, but the daughter of Jupiter is off-balance - there's nothing on her right side.

Hazel closes her eyes and rests her head across Nico's back - she is so tired. Leo is gone - maybe forever - and she doesn't have an arm. There's nothing there - nothing. She goes to move and she forgets it for a second - but then she tries to hold tighter to Nico and can't.

Nico feels his sister's tears on the back of his shirt and holds tight to Frank - who is almost strangling Will in his efforts not to panic - he is flying over the sea.

Jason is behind Piper - he is the last one - and he is much more comfortable. That's his half brother after all.

They land in Long Island after ten painful hours - and Will seethes, because their journey could have been so easy, so small - but the gods were too occupied by their insignificant problems that they had to journey for months.

One after the other, they dismount just shy of the river - Jason thinks the naiads look mad when Frank vomits all over their water.

"Flying on a ship is a thing. Flying on a horse is another."

He stills looks queasy when they cross the Pavillion. There's no one there, which is weird because it's morning. There's no one anywhere.

Perseus - powered by the Helm - is the first to get there - almost two hours before them. And the first thing he listens makes him utterly mad.

"Give our soldiers back - or Nova Roma will strike back!"

It's Octavian's voice coming from the hill that harbors Thalia's tree - and Perseus sighs. He looks at himself - he needs a shower, and sleep, and food. They need traps. They don't need a second war.

He is in no condition to fight right now. So he'll have to put his diplomatic skills to use - just the reminder of his father's death sparks a dull pain in his chest - still covered in ichor and dust, his ax slung over his shoulder.

Cerberus stays by his side. Perseus sends Small Bob to Persephone through the old Labyrinth entrance - he needs the big dog, but the skeleton tiger would just be easy prey.

"TWELVE LEGION, STOP"

Perseus looks mightly tired as he takes on the scene - the greeks following Clarisse, Connor, and Lou, the Romans following Octavian and Mike Kahale. Reyna between them, with the gigantic statue.

The demigod looks between his first and his second family, none that he ever fit right, both of which he was the leader, and hold on to Cerberus.

"We - and by we, I mean nine of us, greeks and Romans, the Amazons, and the hunters - just defeated fifteen giants, with the gods. In Athens. We could've - and should've - had reinforcements."

"Percy-" Connor starts, but Percy raises a hand to stop him. There are shadows curling against his arms - his celestial bronze leg shines under the Athena Parthenos.

"I may have been gone for a while, but I'm still your leader - and their Praetor. You choose me to lead - both of you. Me, and Reyna, and Annabeth, and Frank, and Jason."

"Praetor Jackson-"

"Shut the hell up Octavian, this is all your fucking fault" Intercedes Reyna.

"I went through Tartarus - for a month - because of that damned statue, to close the Doors so you could be safe. I don't care about your petty little problems now - Earth has risen."

"IT'S A LIE, IT'S ALL LIES" Screeches Octavian.

"How can you know? You were here, raising trouble and creating unnecessary problems while we went on the freaking mission to save the world."

Octavian tries to reply, but Reyna's sword in his throat stops him.

"My father is dead. The gods are coming - but we need to stall Gaea. There's no time for this."

"I say kill him." Replies Reyna.

"I agree." Says Perseus, to the surprise of no one "We're the Praetors of Nova Roma. Our word is the law. For treason against our people, you're condemned to death, Octavian Simmons."

"Apollo will curse you for this!" Are his last words as Reyna cuts his head off. Mike Kahale backs down - no one would dare to go against them, not when Perseus is holding the symbol of his father in his hands and the Guardian of Hell in his side.

"Now that... that was solved, let's prepare for the true war. Gaea is coming - in hours from now. We have to hold on until the gods come."

They enter the Camp - the Greeks and the Romans aren't a unit, but at least they all trust Perseus, who sits on the top of the amphitheater with Reyna, and they wait until the others get there. Jason is the first to come to sit down by them - followed by the other six.

"I won't ask you to trust each other. I ask you to fight - with all that you can. Juno and Pluto, or Hera and Hades, are dead." Cries erupt from that, but silence quickly at Reyna's fulminant look "Nike, or Victory, has also fallen. Pray for your parents - burn food, whatever - so that they can take strength. They should be here in a few hours. We just need to hold on."

"Romans and Greeks - no one will survive if we don't fight. Together. For now, you take your orders from Reyna and Clarisse." It's Jason who completes.

Reyna and Clarisse sit down to discuss ideas - they don't trust each other, but are both daughters of war - and their objectives are simple. Lou goes to call her brother as Connor joins the table - Alabaster apparently refused to join the battle against the Romans.

While Romans and Greeks trade strategies and weapons, the travelers rest. Perseus is the first to fall asleep - holding his father's Helm of Darkness like a teddy bear, while most of the others keep their distance from it.

Cerberus makes the campers stay away from the eight. Two of his heads sleep and one keeps growling at whoever gets too close.

Annabeth is the last to fall asleep - she joins the strategy group for about thirty minutes before joining her quest mates behind the giant dog - it sniffs at her. She wonders if remembers the red rubber ball.

They have eleven hours to plan and rest. It's a miracle - Leo managed to knock Gaea down for 21 hours, almost a day.

At least is enough time for everyone to sleep and eat and plan traps. It won't be enough against the primordial, but it might just hold her for a while. They have no way of causing explosions to Leo's proportion - at least they have numbers.

Gaea rises from the earth like an evil mountain - she is the ground. Some of them - the ones on bare earth - die immediately, sucked into the mud as it turns to quicksand.

Frank takes the lead as the whole army charges against the goddess, striking again and again in every part they can find.

They last the three hours before the gods appear - but they lose two-thirds of their forces. Mangled corpses are everywhere on the battlefield.

The gods win - against a tired Gaea - without major losses for themselves. There's no need to recount their battle, for they will lord about it for many centuries.

What counts, however, is the deaths on the demigods' side - the ones who will be forgotten in the shadow of their parents' victory.

Connor sobs over the almost unrecognizable body of his brother, who died holding hands with Katie Gardner, being veiled by her sister, Miranda.

Hazel is helping Alabaster to find his sister, who missing somewhere in the rubble with the other 56 demigods, who are unaccounted for. The first they find is Clarisse - her still hot corpse trying in vain to protect Chris Rodriguez.

Jason holds Thalia's circlet - the only remaining thing of the Lieutenant of Artemis, who came into the battle with her mistress and died to save her. There are just two hunters alive. The sister he barely knows - and won't ever have the chance now.

Piper holds on to him - she can't bear to look as Mitchell and Ariel mourn little Lacy, killed by a fallen tree. Drew died taking a stone to the head for Piper - she doesn't know how to feel about it.

Will would help - but sadness devours him. Of his whole Cabin, he is the sole survivor. All greek children of Apollo are gone. His boyfriend is also dead - his metal foot caught on the quicksand, and he was swallowed by the earth.

Nyssa mourns her siblings - Jake, Leo, Thalassa, Kira. There's only six of them now - back to where they were just after the first war.

Reyna is alive - although with half of her face burned. Hylla - the last of the Amazons - hovers over her, tending to her injuries.

The smaller cabins help each other - there wasn't a lot of them at first, and now there is even less. Cabin 17 has no demigod alive - and won't ever house one again.

Frank is helping the legion to unearth the bodies and rescue the survivors - it's weird to see a giant mole with only an eye. He is the one who holds Hazel's hand as they have to break Lou Ellen's arm to take her from under a pillar.

Grover died protecting Juniper from Gaea's earthquakes. He became a little juniper tree, side by side with hers. Coach Hedge is the only satyr from Camp Half-Blood left.

But maybe the worst scene is where the Pavillion once was - Perseus Jackson is flicking in and off, large gashes in his torso. Hazel is the one to find him. Most of the survivors - and the eight travelers - stop to look. It's their leader, their savior.

Nico holds his head as blood pools under them - the irony, Perseus took a boulder in the chest for him, flying across the Camp at the end of the battle, and Nico was again unable to catch the hero.

Annabeth sobs over his body, screaming. She lost Luke to the gods. She lost Thalia to the gods. She lost Malcolm to the gods. She lost Leo to the gods. She lost Grover to the gods. Everyone is gone - she won't lose Perseus too.

"FIX HIM" She screams at Apollo "FIX HIM"

Apollo shakes his head sadly. In his benefit, he managed to save all demigods who still held on after battle - and most of their limbs - but Perseus is too far gone.

"FIX HIM! HE SAVED YOU. ALL OF YOU. HE DESERVES TO LIVE!"

"Annabeth, he is beyond-"

"YOU ARE GODS! WHAT ARE YOU FOR?"

"We can't, child"

Annabeth doesn't relent. She lost too much. She lost everything. They took all she was, all she had. She won't fail Perseus.

"Immortalize him."

"Annabeth, no-"

"Shut up, Nico" She barks. There's a mad look in her eyes. "You didn't let Heracles die, and he deserved it far less. Save Percy. Make him a god. You have the Fates right there."

Most of the gods look uncertain. Perseus denied immortality the last time - but they couldn't let the hero die.

"DO IT"

No one disagrees with her. Most of their friends - the ones who know Perseus better, who aren't blinded by grief - look horrified.

Nico would argue strongly - but he promised himself that no harm would come upon Perseus after Tartarus. So he backs off - better than he hates them forever than dead.

Zeus is the one who finally takes a step forward. Perseus soul is almost leaving him - it's now or never.

"All in agreement?"

The gods nod and raise their hands over his prone body. It burns so brightly everyone has to look away

When they look again, there's Perseus - still missing a leg, but better than ever. He looks like his father - uncannily so. There are tears in the corners of Ceres's eyes. Poseidon can't look.

Juventa brings the jar of nectar - she is the one who can grant eternal life, the one who guards over her mother's apples. She puts the jar to his lips, and the boy - the god - wakes up, disoriented.

"W-what... h-how am I here? I-I was with Charles and... and Ethan..." He mumbles under his breath, looking lost.

The Fates look at him - but there's no pity in their eyes. He sees again the blue line being cut - is his life. It's gone. Even before they speak, he knows what happened.

"Earthopener, The Silent One, The Rich One, Lord of the Dead. Hail Perseus, the Underworld God"

[unstoppableforcce]

higher prices

CHAPTER FOUR: yellow dress

pairing: bounty hunter Poe Dameron x reader

previous part | next part | masterlist

a/n: a little mini part that didn’t end up being that mini but I got so soft for them and oof ok I didn’t do as many read throughs as I normally do so I hope it’s okay :)))

The yellow dress was his favorite.

He didn’t know if it was because you always looked so happy when you were wearing it or if it was just because it was such a beautiful color in you, but it was his favorite by far. And when you came down the stairs that morning, shining like the radiant princess you were, he thought it was going to be a good day, he thought it had to be.

Looking at you now, collapsed behind the makeshift barricade he managed to set up at the doors to the cantina while you tended to the slashes that marred your legs, he wished it didn’t happen the way that it did. He wished that day was as good as it should have been...

Maybe he wouldn’t be getting you killed by the first order if that were the case.

As he knelt down next to you, his hand twitched, the memory of the way your hand felt in his as he walked along side you through the tropical heat coursing through him.

He hadn’t felt another hand in years, he kept his gloves on specifically to avoid it.

He knew it would never feel the way he wanted it to unless it was you, and he had decided that day, when he left you in tears, each one rolling off your cheeks and staining the breast of your perfect yellow dress, that he would never feel it again. And for years, he thought that was the right call.

Distancing himself from his work, from everyone in his life... he thought that was the only way to do it, to survive in this monstrous galaxy.

But his hand twitched.

It twitched, wanting to reach out, wanting to feel you again.

Did he deserve it? After everything he had done, after all the blood that riddled his hands, after leaving you that day...

Well, would he prefer to die without feeling it again...

BB-H8 came rolling in, confirming that the back exits and windows were secure and that they had maybe five minutes left until the forces were at the door.

“Five minutes.” He repeated to you with a sigh as he collapsed beside you, finally getting you to look up from where you tied the next bandage around your calf.

He still loved you, if he was being honest, he always had, he always would.

His fingers trembled as he reached for the glove on his opposite hand, beginning to wiggle its way off his hand, revealing skin, marred by scars over nearly every inch of it. There were a lot of things he couldn’t remember, a lot of things he blocked out, but he could never forget the last time he felt something nice, the last time he held you and the beautiful yellow dress.

And as he reached out towards you, he wondered if he deserved to know it again.

He didn’t mind dying, but he couldn’t stand the idea of you dying alongside him.

He just couldn’t stand it.

“I think I love you...”

There were birds cawing over head as you slipped out of your shoes nearly made you miss the words as they fell from his lips, but as he turned back to you, already out of his shoes and standing in the sand, he easily repeated it.

“I think I love you...”

The yellow dress was nothing compared to the brightness of your smile. “You think?”

“No, I guess I know that I do.”

You launched into his arms, stumbling him back into the sand, pressing your lips to his for maybe the hundredth time, but making it feel like the first time all over again. His scarless, bloodless hands grabbed your skin, your dress, every inch of you, to hold you close.

“Is this you saying the same—“

“Yes, Poe, I love you.”

Why did he have to go wandering where he wasn’t supposed to be?

He had just been so eager to find you after the guards stole you away, all he wanted was to watch the sunset with you and it was getting pretty close to the horizon now, the sky going pinker and pinker and he had to find you. He wanted to find you...

“I always thought that you had told him...” he heard you say through the towering palace door.

He didn’t know you were talking about him, he didn’t know what was happening inside, he thought it was just a meeting and he didn’t want to interrupt so he lingered.

When he heard Leia’s voice respond, he knew something was wrong.

He knew the two of you were talking about him.

“I didn’t know how, he was just a boy.” Leia sighed, “no boy deserves to hear his parents killed themselves.”

Leia said it was a casualty of war. He was eight years old. He didn’t understand, and he just couldn’t breathe.

“You say they killed themselves for the rebellion, for something bigger—“

You knew. You knew...

“He doesn’t need to know—“

That was when he ran. He didn’t mean to knock over the plant beside him, he wished he hadn’t, then you wouldn’t have followed, you would have just let him leave and it wouldn’t have had to break his heart to run from you and that yellow dress.

How could you know and never tell him, how could Leia, how could anyone...

He got the full story a couple years later, after he made the new Dameron name for himself as a bounty hunter. Leia hired him and he finally asked why...

Kes and Shara had been pinned down, in a cantina actually, not too unlike this one, with information that would end the war and they couldn’t let the empire get their hands on it. But as the only two people in the whole galaxy who had ever read it, after they destroyed the disk, they had to make sure it couldn’t be tortured out of them.

It was for the rebellion, Leia urged, like it made a difference.

He couldn’t fight for the resistance, he couldn’t fight with her or with you, he couldn’t support the thing that killed his parents, he couldn’t.

He couldn’t knowingly fight for a better world when there wasn’t one out there. The empire, the first order, what was the difference... there was no winning.

There were no more yellow dresses or smiles, there were scars and surviving.

Or at least that’s what he told himself to keep himself alive all these years.

But with death on the other side of the door and moving in fast, he wasn’t entirely convinced he even believed himself anymore.

And when you took his hand in yours for the first time since he ran away from you and the truth...

All he could see was you in that yellow dress, that smile, the beautiful skin under the sunlight, toes in the sand. He was a kid again when he felt your touch, he wasn’t this battle hardened bounty hunter with no first name and no sense of morality. And you weren’t the resistance spy who lost everything when the first order destroyed your planet, you were a princess in a yellow dress, splashing water in his face and telling him you loved him too.

“I can’t let you die here...”

You squeezed his hand, drawing him closer whether you meant to or not. “Poe, this isn’t your fault...”

“Doesn’t really matter now, does it?” He tried to smirk, but it fell on his face the second his eyes landed on yours again. “I can’t let you die here.”

You pulled your hand back, just to adjust where you sat, your leg bandages tightly holding your legs but the one on your shoulder falling as you turned to sit closer to him. Then your hand was back in his and he swore he would never let it go.

“I wanted to tell you.” The words burst out of you, seeming to use up all the strength you had left. “About your parents, when Leia told me that you didn’t know, I wanted to tell you.”

It had been so many years and it took coming to your deaths for the two of you to finally speak.

He didn’t care though, he’d wait a lifetime for you.

“But you ran away from me, from us, and the next time I saw you... you had become this façade of yourself and bounty hunter Dameron wasn’t the man I fell in love with. So I was mean, and sarcastic and stubborn because you were too, and I guess we both just got so good at it that we forgot what we used to be.” You continued, gripping his hand tighter and moving your other hand to the side of his face.

“I—“

“I didn’t want to be the princess and you didn’t want to be Poe, it’s not your fault and it’s not mine. We were both hurt and young and...”

For deathbed confessions, it nearly sounded like you had practiced.

And maybe you had. Maybe you spent every waking minute of every day that you didn’t spend on helping the resistance practicing what you’d say if you ever got the man you loved back. You could never have dinner in the palace with your family, or sit in the cove and watch the sunset, all of that taken away when first order destroyed your home. But you dreamed that one day you could have him back. Maybe that was why it always hurt to see him.

Maybe that was why you were holding him so tight now.

“But I’ve missed you.” You finally admitted, “and I don’t want to die here but I’m not an idiot either.”

“I’m going to get you out.” He fought but you just shook your head, a stray tear fighting down your face.

“Poe, I can’t be alive when they get here.”

You knew too much. You were Leia’s second in command, you knew everything there was to know about the resistance and you knew everything the first order wanted to know. That was why the bounty was so high. But what you were saying, what you were implying...

It brought him back to the palace, stood outside your meeting with Leia, hearing how his parents did the exact same thing.

The list of people he’s loved in life isn’t long, even shorter if don’t consider those that are dead, and he wasn’t making that list any shorter today or any day, he couldn’t lose you.

“You can get out of here, Poe—“

He shook his head, reaching up to hold your hand at his face and squeeze your other until his scarred knuckles went white. “I’m not letting you die.”

“The first order doesn’t know that you’re working with the resistance, you can kill me and get the bounty and they’ll spare you—“

“Are you out of your mind?” He shouted while you gingerly strokes a tear from his cheek, “that’s not going to happen.”

“Poe—“ you pleaded but he couldn’t hear it anymore.

“No. I’m going to get you out of here.”

“I can’t be alive when they get here, Poe, please, you know—“

“I came here to save you and that’s what I have to do—“

You reached up into his curls and pulled his face down to yours, smothering his lips with yours before he had a chance to finish his sentence.

He didn’t feel like it was your first kiss again, he felt the weight of everything between the two of you pushing the both of you together, holding you in close as he pressed his lips to yours. And as your tears mixed on your cheeks, he felt his heart breaking over and over again, the yellow fabric melting away into the bloodied pants and cut up shirt you wore.

The princess he loved wasn’t gone, nor was the boy you loved.

The two of you had grown into who you were now, but the spark was still there, the burn in his chest that made even this icy tundra feel like Mustafar was still there.

There was no more yellow dress, there was just you.

And he had to get you out of there.

“I’m not letting you die.” He repeated, his lips ghosting over yours as his hand found the back of your neck to keep you close, “I can’t.”

“You may not have a choice.”

“I think, for the first time in a long time, I do...”

tags:

@danicalifxrnia @cammisanders @p3nny4urth0ught5 @roserrys @itsamedeemoney @mandoren

[in-class-daydreams]

Blue Star | Oikawa x Reader | Ch.1

- Pairing: Oikawa Tooru x Reader

- Word Count: ~ 3,900

- Genres: Fluff, angst, Ushijima doesn’t know what a meme is

- CW: Mild swearing

- Summary: Sometimes, (Y/N) wonders if it was hard for her father to send her away. To a new prefecture, a new home, a new school. It all just might be worth it when after becoming the (suspiciously knowledgeable) manager of the Aoba Johsai boys’ volleyball club, she meets Oikawa Tooru. Together, they do their best to exorcise demons they thought would never leave. They learn about progress, when to strive for it, and when to accept the realities that cannot be changed. 

Chapters: First | Previous | Next

Sweaty and shaking, (Y/N) sat upright in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. The walls were eggshell white, bare, pristine as if they had been untouched. There were no souvenirs or personal belongings anywhere, save for a short pyramid of boxes sitting in the corner.

Stiff, unused sheets wrapped around her, nothing like her beloved bed set back home.

                ‘Oh, that’s right…” she thought, ‘This is home now.’

Her mind flashed back to the busy day before, where she said goodbye to her mother and had the movers bring only some of her belongings to her new apartment so that the space didn’t completely fill up with unpacked boxes.

After some long, deep breaths, (Y/N) turned her attention to the obnoxious noise her phone was making.

The overly bright device read ‘6:20’.

(Y/N) flopped back down on her bed.

She ran a hand down her face, groaning. 

“I don’t really need an education, right? I’m still pretty flexible. I could probably drop out and become a stripper, right, Hubble? The club down the street is always trying to hire new people.”

Across the room, the round orange tabby gazed back at her judgmentally.

The teen rolled her eyes at her pet, “Thanks for the support, Hubs.”

Once in the bathroom after a long struggle to drag herself out of bed, (Y/N) rested her weight against the sink. Gently touching the bags under her eyes, she sighed.

“I’ve looked better,” she said to herself, “Hey! Bad kitty!”

She tried to nudge Hubble off the counter, only for the feline to look at her with a look of even lesser interest than she gave frogs or mice.

Realistically, (Y/N) could lift the cat of the counter herself, but honestly, she didn’t have the energy to do so.

Rather than get dressed for school, she sat down on the edge of the custom made bathtub.

Lips pursed, she said to her cat, “Hey, at least you got to come with me, rather than stay home with mom and dad. That’s good.”

Hubble gave her the facial equivalent of crickets chirping.

Snatching her new uniform from its hook, yanking the brown plaid skirt up her thighs, she grumbled to herself, “First I get exiled to a whole new prefecture, and now I’m talking to my cat, who has also decided to be a dick to me, but this is what I needed, right?” she asked sarcastically, “A ‘change of pace.’”

She tucked in the lilac dress shirt far more aggressively than necessary. Her sigh of relief was cut short when she spotted the cream vest and a blazer that she had to wear.

“Why does this stupid uniform have so many damn layers!” she screamed into the empty apartment.

Soon after, her shoulders sagged in resignation. Expertly lacing up the uniform tie, she sighed for the nth time since she woke up. There was no use fighting it any more. This empty, desolate apartment was her new home. Aoba Johsai was her new school. No amount of anger was going to change that.

She recalled the conversation she had with her childhood friend before she left.

“Wakatoshi said to just keep to myself. That’s easy. I can do that. Of course…” she glanced over to the box pyramid on the other side of her bare apartment.

(Y/N) stalked over, picking up the box on top, securely sealed with red duct tape. A scowl marred her already unpleasant expression.

Desperate to get it out of her sight, she shoved the box unceremoniously into her deep bedroom closet, where it (hopefully) would never bother her again.

~~

“It’s kind of weird to get a transfer student in the middle of second year.”

“Maybe one of her parents got a new job or something.”

“What if she’s a delinquent?”

‘You know, it costs you nothing to mind your own freaking business.’

“All right, class, settle down,” the teacher raised her voice just slightly. “This is (L/N) (Y/N). She’s our new transfer student, and she’ll be the boys’ volleyball club manager this year. Make sure you all treat her well. Please have a seat in front of Iwaizumi-san.”

(Y/N) bowed, “Thank you, Yukino-sensei.”

The woman nodded, “Of course. I hope you enjoy your time here at Aoba Johsai.”

(Y/N) slid into the desk in front of a tan, spiky-haired boy who she recognized from middle school, only now it looked like his biceps were about to bust his uniform sleeves. It took her a second to realize who it was.

“Hajime!”

(Y/N) froze, worried they were no longer on a first-name basis, but the teenager just smiled back at her.

“(Y/N)! How’ve you been?”

“Eh, same old, same old. But it looks like you’re doing great! You’ve gotten so much bulkier since middle school! What have they been feeding you?” she said, causing him to laugh and ruffle her hair.

In fear of Yukino-sensei’s wrath, the class stayed relatively quiet. Though, people were stealing glances at her a noticeable amount. In their defense, they had a valid reason. One of the most intimidating students alive was being extremely friendly to an unknown, unheard transfer student. The stares were annoying, but not distractingly so.

The moment the final bell rang, a cluster of students swarmed (Y/N)’s desk.

“(L/N)-san, why did you transfer?”

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“(L/N)-san, how did you get the manager position?”

Ah, the manager position. That one came up a lot. Honestly, she didn’t see why people were so worked up over it.

She couldn’t exactly ignore her classmates, so she responded in as few words as possible, “I had to,” “No,” “I asked for it.” She kept her answers brief, hoping her fellow students would find the lack of response boring rather than alluring.

“(L/N),” Iwaizumi called out.

Her head immediately snapped to where he was standing by the door.

“You’re our new manager, right? Want me to show you where the gym is?” he asked gruffly.

(Y/N) grabbed her school supplies and practically ran over to Iwazumi, who had a tall brunette boy standing behind him.

“I’d appreciate that, thank you.”

On the walk to the gym, Iwaizumi introduced the brunette, Oikawa, to her.

“I was Iwa-chan’s handsomer, much more popular friend, remember?”

Oh, she definitely remembered him. Was she about to tell him that, though? Not a chance. She pretended to think for a moment, then shook her head.

“I’m sorry, Oikawa-san, that doesn’t ring a bell.” She tilted her head, “Besides, Hajime here is a perfect 10, so I don’t know where this ‘handsomer’ business came from.”

While Oikawa stopped in indignation, (Y/N) walked on as Iwaizumi followed, laughing shamelessly. 

“It’s not like you remember me, either,” she added.

Oikawa pouted, “That’s not my fault! I was invested in volleyball, not cute girls.”

(Y/N) ignored him and the three of them walked along the school hallway in silence for a while. (Y/N) did her best to keep her mouth shut, but her curiosity got the better of her.

“Hajime? Do you know why the manager position is so important to people around here?” she asked tentatively.

Iwaizumi barked a laugh, “That’s because--”

“-because I’m on the volleyball team! The manager gets to spend time near me, which is something pretty much everyone around here wants,” Oikawa winked and made his signature peace sign.

He grinned charmingly at (Y/N). Iwaizumi facepalmed. (Y/N) stared back blankly.

“Sure,” she deadpanned.

“Huh? You’re the one that asked!” Oikawa protested.

“She didn’t ask for an egotistical answer like that, Crappykawa,” Iwaizumi growled. He turned to (Y/N) once again, “As annoying and stupid as that answer is, he’s not entirely wrong. He’s really popular for some reason.”

“Weird.”

“I know, right?”

“Hey, don’t gang up on me!”

(Y/N) ducked under Oikawa’s arm into the gym, turning slightly to thank him over her shoulder. The first person to greet her was the short, stout Seijoh head coach.

“Well, if it isn’t (L/N) (Y/N). You have no idea how happy I was to hear you’d be transferring to our school,” Coach Irihata gave the teen a small nod. “Though, I wish it were under different circumstances,” he grimaced.

(Y/N) bowed at him respectfully, “You and I both, Coach. I’ll put all my focus into being your team manager from now on.”

The older man laughed, “I don’t doubt that. Let me introduce you to the team.”

He led her to stand at the edge of the court.

“This here is Mizoguchi, the coach. He’s a bit of a hardass.”

“Are you allowed to be saying these things, Coach?”

“Were you planning on reporting me, (L/N)?”

“Touche.”

Coach Mizoguchi had all the boys line up. The two coaches and (Y/N) walked down the line.

“These are our first-years, Kyoutani, Watari, and Yahaba. Our second years, Matsukawa, Hanamaki, Iwaizumi, Oikawa--”

‘They’re an odd group. Not horrible mismatched, but definitely not inherently interwoven like other teams I’ve seen.’

“We’ll be playing quick, 3-on-3 practice matches so (Y/N) can see what you can do.”

Some of the boys looked surprised, others even leaned over  and whispered confused words to each other. At the same time, their new manager felt every drop of blood draining out of her face.

(Y/N) leaned in, “Coach, may I speak to you for a moment?” she whispered frantically.

Irihata allowed her to lead him out of earshot.

“I know I’ve asked a lot of you lately, Coach, but if we could call as little attention to me as possible, I would be eternally grateful. I doubt anyone will say anything, but if we could avoid giving them unnecessary hints, that would be ideal.”

He quirked a brow slightly, “(L/N), this is just a small request. You don’t have to grovel every time you ask something of me.”

(Y/N) fiddled with her track jacket, “I know. You’ve just done so much for me already.”

“So much by your standards, very little by mine. All I had to do was put in a good word for you. You secret’s safe with me, (L/N). Do your best as our manager,” he clapped her on the shoulder before gesturing for her to head back to the courts.

By the time practice was over, the players were all dog-tired and drenched in sweat. Despite the fact that her brain had gone numb from the busy analysis, she felt she had gotten a good grasp of the team’s individual and group abilities, having written mini reports in her notebook about all the players, their habits, and how they work together. Each player’s individual page included a few people they worked especially well with, but (Y/N) noticed that everyone worked especially well with Oikawa. He seemed to bring out the most ability and talent in everyone he set for.

It was unfair, really. Such amazing athletic talent, coupled with fluffy brown curls and a sharp jawline, only to be spoiled by a smug, flippant attitude.

Earlier, she’d made the mistake of letting him catch her staring once. The corners of his lips quirked up slightly, causing her to look away quickly.

(Y/N) changed back into her school uniform and locked up the main gym. Shouldering her bag, she noticed the lights on inside one of the smaller gyms.

She stepped inside to see Oikawa practicing his sets against the wall. He’d taken the time to change out of his sweaty practice gear, but he just changed into clean, dry practice gear.

“Oikawa-san?” she called out.

The setter caught the ball and turned his attention to her, “Ah, (Y/N)-chan! Heading home already?”

She nodded, “Yeah. You’re still going to be practicing for a while?”

A look of annoyance flashed across his face before returning to his usual carefree expression.

“Yes, I will be.”

(Y/N) nodded, taking a few steps in to set the master key on the bleachers, “I’m heading home, so please be sure to lock up when you’re finished.”

Had she stayed just a second longer, she’d have seen the slightly dumbfounded, mostly intrigued look on Oikawa’s face.

~~

“Wakatoshi, I’m having the time of my life!”

“That’s an unexpected response, though I’m happy for you,” Ushijima’s slightly pixelated voice came from (Y/N)’s firepods.

“I’ve been keeping to myself enough where no one bothers me, I get to manage the volleyball team, and I’ve had two whole weeks of fucking peace here. All my hopes and dreams have come true.”

“Well, not all of them--”

“Stuff it, Ushijima, I know,” she grumbled.

A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, “Sorry, sorry. Have you met Oikawa Tooru yet?”

(Y/N) frowned, dodging a group of boys walking down the hall in the opposite direction.

“Yes,” she said in a small voice.

“Why did you say it so quietly?”

“No reason,” she said just as quietly.

“You find him attractive, don’t you?”

“What? Him? But he’s so-- he’s such a flirt! He always has girls hanging around him and he always looks so pleased with himself. Not to mention he’s a genuinely amazing setter and he’s a considerate captain and--”

“So, you do find him attractive?”

“I mean,” (Y/N) huffed, stopping outside the equipment room door, “Yes.”

“More attractive than Semi?”

“I’d say they’re about the same.”

“Wow. That’s a high compliment coming from you.”

“Isn’t it? But-- Oh, I gotta go, Wakatoshi, I need to fill the water cooler.”

“I’ll talk to you tonight.”

“Later!”

(Y/N) was breathing hard as she carried the water cooler from the equipment room to the gym. She wondered if they could get a wagon or some sort of wheels so she didn’t have to pull a muscle just to fill the cooler every practice. Better yet, maybe just let them die of dehydration so she wouldn’t have to move at all.

Sigh.

No, (Y/N), this isn’t that type of school.

Finally making it to the gym, she took a deep breath and shuffled inside. Almost immediately after she set foot in the gym, all of a sudden, the water cooler had slammed back into her, pouring its icy contents all over her and her uniform.

She fell flat on her ass, rubbing the sore spot on her chin where the plastic had knocked into it.

‘Someone around here wants me to relieve them of both their arms,’ she thought.

“Kyoutani!” she heard Mizoguchi yell, “How did your spike end up all the way over there?”

She didn’t get the chance to hear the first-year’s reply before Coach Irihata kneeled in front of her, the boys crowding around the two of them.

‘No, no. Deep breaths, (Y/N). It was just an accident. Breathe in, breathe out. In, then out.”

Taking a final deep breath, she looked up, smiled sweetly and said, “Don’t worry. It’s just a little water.”

Iwaizumi came up behind her and hauled her up by the armpits, “You alright?”

(Y/N) nodded in affirmation.

Oikawa passed her a large - presumably his -  Seijoh BVBC sweater. She fully expected him to say something that would get him smacked by Iwaizumi, but was surprised to see him walk away almost immediately.

~~

Stepping out of the locker room, (Y/N) looked up at the dark evening sky.

“It’s already this dark?” she wondered aloud.

“Yep. It’s that time of the year,” came a voice from behind her.

Oikawa stepped out from the boys’ locker room, hair still damp, and aqua t-shirt clinging to his skin slightly from the moisture.

She stared at him.

He tilted his head. “I do take breaks sometimes, you know,” he said as if he’d read her mind.

“Could’ve had me fooled,” she replied, gathering her composure and making her way towards the front gate.

“See you tomorrow, (Y/N)-chan,” he waved her goodbye.

“See you tomorrow.”

Exiting the school gate, they both turned left, ending up walking the same direction anyway. They chuckled awkwardly.

“Never mind, then,” Oikawa smiled.

“I’m getting on the G-train and going down 6 stops. You?”

“G-train, 8 stops,” he gasped,  “(Y/N)-chan, we live so close! We can hang out together every day!” he teased.

(Y/N) huffed, turning away so the brunette couldn’t see her smiling, “We already hang out every day, nerd.”

“How hurtful! I can never spend too much time with you, (Y/N)-chan,” he nudged her playfully with his elbow, letting out a small ‘oof’ when she pushed him back.

They got on the G-train, which was mostly empty around this time of night. Their car held them and two other girls from their school, who seemed to pay them little mind, aside from the occasional glances that were typical in Oikawa’s presence.

The brunette stared down his nose at her, “So. Are you ever gonna tell me why our brand new lady manager has an abnormally thorough knowledge of volleyball?” he questioned.

(Y/N) took a seat across from Oikawa. He made himself comfortable opposite her.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Oikawa-san,” she said innocently.

Oikawa leaned forward in his seat.

“I saw your notebook. Your notes are way too detailed for anyone less than an expert. Did you or a family member or a friend or whatever play?”

Her gaze turned downcast. The train car was relatively empty, and he seemed genuine enough for her to softly reply, “I used to.”

There are two specific expressions (Y/N) saw the most of in the months following the incident.

One was less common. It was a thinly-veiled smugness, poorly hidden behind feigned sympathy. It was a look that said, “You got exactly what you deserved.”

The second was much more common, and on the days that made her want to lay in bed all day, seeing that expression plastered all around her like wallpaper just made her want to dig into the earth and make a home for herself there forever.

Pity.

It’s the same look every time. Their eyebrows go up, then furrow, finally slanting down as the realization dawns on them. Their mouth will drop open like they plan to say something, but no words come out because what are they supposed to say?

He must have seen the look of anguish on her face, because his expression morphed through each phase of that second type, word for word.

“You don’t play anymore because you won’t or because you--”

A dark shadow crossed her face, “I’d rather not talk about it.”

Oikawa nodded, “Okay.” His pretty brown eyes rolled up to the ceiling in deep thought. “What’s your favorite cake flavor?”

(Y/N) blinked at him confusedly for a moment, then her expression shifted to one of realization, and she gave him a small smile, the most genuine he’d ever seen her wear since she arrived at Aoba Johsai.

“Red velvet!”

“That’s just chocolate with red food coloring.”

(Y/N) gasped loudly, “You take that back!”

Oikawa raised his hands in defense, “I’m sorry, I only speak facts. Is now a bad time to mention I love pineapple on pizza?”

(Y/N)’s jaw dropped, “Are you serious? Do you even have taste buds, pretty boy?”

The taller male laughed and teasingly batted his lashes, “You think I’m pretty, (Y/N)-chan?”

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t know how to tell you this, Oikawa, but everyone thinks you’re pretty. You literally have a fanclub. They bring you homemade cookies on a regular basis.”

He got up from his seat across from her, only to settle down in the seat beside her. They sat there, shoulders against each other’s. Oikawa Tooru smelled like mint and the breeze on a summer night and a little bit of man sweat, but that’s to be expected coming straight from practice. It was a very distracting few seconds.

“But I don’t care about everyone’s opinion, (Y/N)-chan, I want yours.”

(Y/N)’s cheeks buzzed with heat. Ugh, he’s unfairly cute, isn’t he? But! Even if she would never tell him, she remembered him from middle school. He didn’t remember her. A guy like Oikawa was probably flirting with her because she didn’t fall desperately at his feet. She wasn’t going to be a part of that game. Not now, not ever. 

At the sound of her stop, she stood and made her way over to the door. Just forcing the blood in her cheeks down through sheer willpower, she said, “I’ll see you in school tomorrow, Oikawa-san.”

Oikawa leaned back in his seat.

“Hey, (Y/N)? You’re not thinking I’m flirting with you because I’m some tail-chasing fuckboy, right? Because if you are,” he quirked a perfect eyebrow at her, “That’s hardly fair, is it?”

‘What? How did he know??’ she internally screamed, ‘He’s right, though. A lot of girls like him, but it’s not like he has a reputation for sleeping around or anything. Even if he did, that’s not for me to judge.”

(Y/N) braced herself against the open train doors. The cool night air blew into the train from behind her, ruffling her uniform skirt. She groaned.

“That smug face you make when you know you’re right? Yeah, I hate it.”

The setter’s hand came up to rest under his chin, “But you do have an opinion about my face?” 

“Goodnight, Oikawa.”

“Text me when you get home!”

“I don’t--”

“Ask Iwa-chan for it! Goodnight, (Y/N)-chan!”

The train doors shut, and Oikawa sent her a wink through the glass doors before it departed. The breeze ruffled (Y/N)’s hair. There she stood, staring at the empty tracks. Rooting through her bag, she yanked her phone out and dialed a number.

“Wakatoshi, I’ve been a dumb hoe.”

“(Y/N), I told you you shouldn’t--”

“I shouldn’t belittle myself, even as a joke, I know, I’m sorry, Wakatoshi.”

She could feel him shaking his head in disapproval, “Right. Now, what’s your issue?”

Fingers fiddling with the hem of the borrowed oversized Seijoh sweatshirt, (Y/N) pressed her phone between her ear and shoulder.

“I accidentally made friends.”

Ushijima sighed on the other end of the line, “(Y/N), when I said to keep to yourself, I did not mean you had to become a total recluse. You may not want to hear this from me, but meeting new friends is a good thing.”

(Y/N) slowly shook her head, “They’re pretty popular, though, and the last thing I wanted since coming here was to call attention to myself.”

“You may have gotten some unwanted attention at your old school, but maybe you can start over at Aoba Johsai. If we want the rewards of being loved, we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

“...are you using a meme to give me advice?”

“A what?”

“A meme, Wakatoshi. It’s a joke passed all over the internet. Come on, there’s no way you haven’t seen them, even accidentally.”

“I am unfamiliar with the term. Anyway, I was quoting renowned columnist and cartoonist Tim Kreider. I was trying to make you feel better.”

Though he couldn’t see it, (Y/N) smiled warmly at how hard he was trying to help.

“You did a great job, Wakatoshi. Hey, I just got home, I’ll call you back and we’ll talk all about your day. How’s that?”

“Alright, get inside safely.”

Upon hanging up with Ushijima, (Y/N)’s hand stopped just short of putting her phone away. Perhaps against her better judgement, she reluctantly sent one more text.

[SENT] To: Iwaizumi Hajime-Kun [8:37 pm]

~~

- Admin Mango

[inevitably-johnlocked]

TOP 25 BOOKMARKS of 2019

See also: Top 20 Bookmarks of 2018

Hey guys! 

Since this is the last Fic Rec Sunday of the year, I’m going to give y’all the list of my favourite fics that I’ve read this year! I think this is a great way to end off the year, by letting y’all know what I thoroughly enjoyed reading while on my seemingly-never-ending quest to rec you guys the stuff y’all should read! <3 

And of course, I am reducing it to a small list or I will NEVER finish reccing fics because everything I’ve read this year have been fantastic, but these are the ones I’ve found myself going back to a couple times already :)

Hope y’all enjoy! 

------

JOHNLOCK BOOKMARKS

The Burning of the Leaves by blueink3 (M, 15,915 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Angst, Reichenbach, Parentlock, Past Jolto, Idiot John, Sherlock’s a Mess, Puppies, Fluff, Possessive / Jealous Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, Matchmaker Sholto, Melancholic Feelings, Emotional Sherlock, Domesticity, Love Confessions in the Rain, Kissing in the Rain, Pet Names, Panic Attack) – After the events of series 4, Major Sholto invites John and Sherlock to lunch one day. It nearly proves to be too much for their tenuous relationship as the past haunts the present, putting the future that Sherlock so desperately wants at risk.

The Palmyra Atoll by elwinglyre (E, 16,609 w., 3 Ch. || TSo3 Divergence / Episode Fix-It, Stockholm Syndrome, Kidnapped John Watson, John Whump, Evil Mary, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Toplock, Limited 3rd John POV) – As John's preparing for the wedding, Sherlock is preparing to have his heart broken, and Mary is prepared to do the unthinkable. Intervention required. Enter Sherlock. Set before Sign of Three with a far different outcome. John is drugged, kidnapped, and left on an island, but not just any old island.

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination?, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

The Kepler Problem by kinklock (E, 24,270 w., 1 Ch. || Sci-Fi AU, Alien Sherlock, Space Repairman John, Alien Biology, Horny John) – Working in uncharted space exploration was not as exciting as John had hoped, especially when it turned out to be mostly bot maintenance on uninhabited planets. However, the mystery of the repeated, unexplained malfunctions on planet BAK 2212 might turn out to be exactly the kind of adventure he'd been craving.

A Home for Us by sussexbound (M, 30,581 w., 12 Ch. || Scars, Bedsharing, Grief, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Post-TRF, Implied/Referenced Torture, Sherlock POV, Pining Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation, Heavy Emotions, Clingy Sherlock, Hallucinations, Disassociation, Emotional Turmoil) – He has been on the road for two years, and he is exhausted. He’s almost accepted that he will never see London (John) again—almost. But then there are nights like tonight, where he is weak, and all he can think of is the warmth of the flat they once shared, the crackle of the fire in the hearth, the teasing smile playing at the corner of John’s lips, the boxes of half-eaten Chinese takeaway balanced precariously in their laps. He aches at the memory of it, at the realisation that it is something he may never experience again.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. "You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie's class and you won't have to share a room with a stranger?" "Exactly." Sherlock beamed at him. "Don't worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us."

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal, Autistic Sherlock) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (CanadaHolm) (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him

A Further Sea by i_ship_an_armada & ShinySherlock (E, 125,492 w., 23 Ch. || Historical Pirates AU || Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Doctor John / Pirate Captain Sherlock, Sailing, UST / RST, Masturbation, Action / Adventure, Mild Angst & Peril, Romance, Shaving, Molly/Janine, Bottomlock, Hand / Blow Jobs, Past Drug Use, Slow Burn, Mild Violence, Happy Ending) – Here be a tale of adventure for both body and soul, but beware if ye be not of stout heart, for this be piratelock, ya savvy? Luckless ship's surgeon John Watson takes a chance, and finds himself eye to eye with The Ghost, the scourge of the seven seas and a definite thorn in the side of the blaggard, James Moriarty. But when John finds there's more to this most cunning pirate than be meetin' the eye, he has to choose... is it a pirate's life for him?

The Adventure of the Silver Scars by tangledblue (NR [M], 142,458 w., 41 Ch. || S3 Fix-It, Post-HLV/ Post-TAB / Canon Compliant, Case Fic, No Baby, Angst, Humour, UST, Slow Burn, Angry John, Reconciliation, Not Nice Mary / Leaving Mary, Dependent Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Caretaker John, Fist Fights, It’s An Experiment, Virgin Sherlock, Dancing, Drugging, John Whump, Pet Names, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Scars) – It’s been thirteen months since Mary shot Sherlock and John finds he’s still pissed off about it. Sherlock had thought everything was settled: John and Mary, domestic bliss. But when John turns up at Baker Street with suitcases, the world’s only consulting detective might not be prepared for the consequences. A new case. Some old scores to settle. Certain danger. Concertos, waltzes, and whisky.

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

GOOD OMENS

you can dance in a hurricane, but only if you're standing in the eye by be_brave13 (G, 1,456 w., 1 Ch. || Non-Linear Narrative, Light Angst, 6000 Years of Pining / Slow Burn, POV Crowley, 5 and Ones, Idiots in Love, Song Fic) – 5 times Crowley knew he loved Aziraphale and the 1 time he knew Aziraphale loved him back (romantically).

Where Heaven Begins by sussexbound (M, 2,515 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Crowley, Soft Idiots, Emotional Love Making, Hurt/Comfort, Crowley Has Healing Powers, Kissing, Bed Sharing, Crowley POV) – Aziraphale bleeds. Is bleeding. He’s wearing human skin, after all.

In the (Second) Beginning by cherryfeather (M, 2,661 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Confessions, Soft Crowley, POV Aziraphale, Post-Canon, First Kiss, Wings) – Aziraphale realizes that Crowley's been saying something rather loudly for a week.

The Picnic; or, the Drawbacks of Loving an Angel by sorrowfulcheese (G, 3,776 w., 1 Ch. || Post-Apocalypse/Canon, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Misunderstandings, Moving On, Picnicking, Idiots in Love, Crowley POV, Cranky Crowley, Mutual Pining, Light Angst with Happy Ending) – Aziraphale lures Crowley out for a picnic. It doesn't go remarkably well.

The slowest moving object in the universe by chamyl (G, 4,996 w., 1 Ch. || God POV, Mutual Pining, Idiots in Love, Beach Day, Games, Light Humour, Tenderness, Embarassed Crowley, Soft Idiots, First Kiss, Love Confessions) – Crowley and Aziraphale have had feelings for each other for a very long time. It takes a date at the lake and a round of 36 Questions That Lead To Love to give them the final push.

a garden all their own by leaveanote (T, 5,436 w., 1 Ch. || Post Canon, POV Crowley, Emotional Turmoil, Aziraphale Takes Care of Crowley, Crying, Nightmares, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Heart Wrenching Pining, Pining Crowley, Wings, Tired Crowley, Romance, Healing, Massage, Light Angst with Happy Ending) – The aftermath. An exhaustion deeper than body. A secret too heavy to carry when when grief burned so close. Crowley has to tell him. "What am I to you?" A saving thing, an agony, a binary star, tenderness, an unhealed wound, a home, a home, a garden. Come to me, we'll heal together.

i want to hold your hand (goddammit) by PersephonesReign (E, 7,695 w., 5 Ch. || Crowley POV, Pining Crowley, Emotional Turmoil, Slow Burn, Soft Crowley, Angst and Fluff, Love Confessions, Nervous / Anxious Crowley, First Kiss/Time, URT, Wing Kink, Anal, Top Aziraphale / Bottom Crowley, Hand Holding) – Crowley just wants to hold Aziraphale's hand. What's so difficult about that?

A Brief History of Touch by chamyl (E, 11,849 w., 1 Ch. || Moments in Time, First Kiss/Time, Heavy Mutual Pining, Romance, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Masturbation, Almost Kiss, Touch-Starved Crowley, Angst With Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Blow Jobs, Emotional Love Making, Friends to Lovers, Body Worship, Promise of Forever With a Ring) – Six thousand years of pining, stolen glances, almost-touches, plummeting towards the inevitable end.

The Nice and Accurate Love Story of A. J. Crowley and A. Z. Fell by SealandRocks (E, 16,353 w., 1 Ch. || Pining Crowley, Implied Mutual Pining, Emotional Love Making, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, POV Crowley, Jealous Crowley, Crowley’s Plants, Kissing as Healing, Moments in Time, The Arrangement, Love Confessions, Bottom Crowley, Gentle Aziraphale, Slow Burn, Falling in Love, Crowley is Bad at Feelings, First Kiss/Time, Anal Sex / Fingering, Wings / Wing Kink, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Kissing in the Rain, Symbolism, Historical References) – Crowley and Aziraphale have been dancing around each other since the beginning. From Eden to London, it eventually becomes very hard to avoid the only other immortal around. And after so many centuries, having a physically body becomes a bit uncomfortable. Crowley is left to wonder what it is about Aziraphale that helps ease the ache in his soul. It would only take him 6000 years to figure out that it was rooted in something deeper all along. Part 1 of Love Stories for the Oblivious

Any Way You Want It by LieutenantLiv (M, 27,585 w., 5 Ch. || Holidays, Slow Burn, Fluff, First Time, Eventual Smut, Swimming, Dreams of Dancing, Kissing in the Rain, Self-Esteem Issues, Misunderstandings, Crying Love Confessions, Soft Crowley, Clingy Crowley, Virgin Aziraphale, Romance) – Saving the world is exhausting work. With Heaven and Hell off their backs, it seems as good a time as any for Crowley and Aziraphale to take a proper break. Neither one of them predicts the direction their holiday takes.Who'd have thought that sharing a cottage in Scotland would be quite so romantic?

[thelittlehansy]

Prince Thimothee of the southern isles.

Some random part of that tv show idea i ve got in my description in fanfic style not script  that i m procrastinatating to wrote since 5 years  😂this is like episode 2 or 3 lottie meet one of the prince of the southern isles and suddenly...well its love at first sight. writing is also a way to improve my english so well thanks to anyone who may read this and sorry for the painful grammar XD

A place amoung others in the hotel was a restaurant that was not indifferent to lottie. 

Not only Tiana had take an opportunity to work here as a way to cope with the strange curse that had send them here but there was also a part of the restaurant that was mean for  musician group that lottie was liking a lot.

This evening was particulary enjoyable for lottie. The music was sounding great she was chatting happy with Tiana and Aurora when suddenly something had crossed her heart at the minute she saw the new singer who was making the show. 

Curly auburn hair , mysterious chocolate eyes , this man was strange. He was mysterious but at the same time lottie could tell from his face that he seems to be kind. She must have been too much concentrated on that guy for she hear tiana and Aurora laughed amused.

« Lottie... » she heard  Tiana chuckled.

«  i think she is having a crush on prince thimothee » Aurora added in a whisper.

« Prince ? He is a prince ? » lottie asked at the same time shocked and euphoric this man who was singing in front on her ,this stunning god was a prince ? She looked a little better at the man. His pants was not the same as his shirt. When the shirt was definitely an outfit he buy like everyone else here to fit with this world clothes brand. the pants was more fitting the brand of the southern part of the first continent of their  world. Finally she catch it the Symbol of the southern isles royalty on the top of the pants. She laughed.

«  oh my god this is one of the princes of the southern isles !!!! » she claimed. As aurora and Tiana laughed with her.  

Her  best friend added «  sorry lottie he is 11th in line ». Lottie  burst out laughing ,  her dream and fantasm of marring a prince and be a princess was something that she made public knowledge amoung her friends and if she had to be honest she liked playing the role of the superficial girl that had  always dream to marry a prince. it was funny and her friend were knowing perfectly who she was. Yes she was blond ,she was rich , and she was having strange dreams but Tiana her best friend and her others friend were knowing perfectly that she was a very faithful friend who was kind and gentle. she was interrupted again in her  daydream by Tiana

« Lottie you are literally watching him since 2 minutes » she laughed

«  well when I see a goergous piece of art how can I not look at what I see » they both burst out laughing with aurora who finally added a little more information.

« I m sorry lottie but all the princes of the southern isles are married with children except for prince Runo prince Rudi wich is engagment was call off and Prince Hans » the news hit lottie pretty hard for she makes a face that makes her friend laugh even more. Upset she added :

«  so I only have a choice between the ones surround by negative gossip  and....Prince hans » she makes a grimace. Hans even though was 13th  in line had makes himself very popular for his crimes in arendelle. he was a selfish entitled murderous asshole. 

it was not a surprise him and his twins brothers are not married. In fact the contrary would  have be extremely shocking and surprising. She wished for one second no any women will have the misfortune te to be married to such men. Prince hans at least , they still didn’t knew if Rudi and runo were as horrible as the gossip about them. 

Generally rumors twist reality , at least with Hans the existence of fact where proving how an horrible human being he was.  He had left his  fiance to died , laugh at her misery trying to murder for power. This quote he said to her also “ oh anna if only there was someone out there who loved you” has spread very fast in the continent. all of these was only showing the cruelty of the character of his royal highness Prince Hans Westergaard of the Southern isles.

 She was going to serve herself an other glass of this very tasteful juice when a   hand touch accidently her   

«   I m sorry » the person said.  She raise her head and suddenly noticed prince thimothee ! 

Prince timothee was the one who touched  her hand  ? not wanted to sound like a fan girl she nervously brushed her hair ,  when  a magnicent smile with dimple crossed his royal highness goergous face.   Her heart melt a little more « it’s alright » she said with a huge smile.

 Confident , she finally decided to talk to him «  you have an amazing voice your highness you makes a great show I m sure a lot of person here enjoy it a lot » she smile her confidence disappearing  suddenly he was royalty maybe he was finding her a bit too familiar.

«  really ? » thimothee said «  thanks you thanks you so much generally I m all the time compared to my triplet brother » he laughed not convinced of her compliment. “ your triplet brothers” lottie replied surprise. “ yes we are triplet that dont look like each others like our twin brothers” she notices the two men on stage who must be his brothers. There were Indeed not looking exactly like each other’s but we still could tell there were brothers.

She smiled happy to chat with him “ its true Rudi and Runo have nothing at all in common physically !”

«  I m sure you have our own skills and talent that cannot be compare to your brothers » she reasured him.

« Thanks thanks you so much what your name ? »

« Charlotte labouff ! I m from the second continent new Orleans ! She said happy to present herself to the prince and way too much excited.

«  it’s a pleasure prince thimothee of the southern isles » he Bowned and paused a kiss on her hand. «  to another time miss labouff »  on these words the prince left her.

She heard aurora and Tiana not convinced by the prince charm «  what he didn’t said to you is that he has a wife” 

“he has a wife !” lottie repeat  finally sad. 

“I m sure he is the kind to flirt around even when married » Tiana said 

«  oh that will be so sad I hear he got 3 kids ? »  Aurora said 

«  yes naveen told me two babies and one who is 4 years old »  speicfied tiana.

Lottie looked a little better at the direction the prince took there was indeed a little kid next to thimothee

 « the question I asked myself is why  they take some of their kids at this ball now look at the disaster only 2 princess of the southern isles went to the ball and now several of these poor kid are away from their mothers » aurora said. 

Finally she saw a man tooking the small child  with him approaching  from lottie Aurora and tiana table. She smiled to who must be prince thimothee kid. The boy replied with a little malicous smile. she looked at him again the poor little boy was so lost and tired from all these mess. he must be terribly miss his mommy she thought.

«  if you want to babysit him I will not said no ! When you are having more than 10 nephews and nieces and most of their mother are missing this is a hard time »  she heard the man visibly piss off  told her. The men was the uncle of the boy ?  a prince of the southern isles ? 

He replied to her internal monologue  «  prince klaus of the southern isles...”  bitter , cynical and unfriendly withtout any smile prince klaus said : “  Not hans brother , neither number 6 please »

She offered the prince an other  smile and bow the best she can. Lottie  was sure he was the kind of royalty to claim everything as a disrespect again his own person. This one was also very handsome not as much as prince thimothee but still pretty good looking. What struck her the most was how much cold and arrogant he sounded. 

. « He must missing so much his mother » lottie said sad for the little boy  and his cousins who went at the ball.   « His father too must miss her terribly... » she added thinking about his wife  putting to the side her little crush on prince thimothee she did not realize the horror its must be for the princes to be away from their love one.

Lottie was missing a lot her father and there were there only since nearly one week.  the prince of the southern isles them were having a enormous family and more people to missed terribly.

The prince chuckled «  no I can tell you my brother prince thimothee does not miss his wife neither my sisters in law”

“ love does  not exist in the southern isles »  he added while drinking bitter his glass.

«  really ? » aurora lottie and Tiana asked shocked by the prince declaration. The 6th prince of the southern isles  « my sisters in law...they must be throwing a big party in our castle right now  ! this is only politic for my father ! 

In one instant after the prince left  ,  lottie went back to her intial very exited mood  that  Tiana , with rationality interrupted : 

«  lottie.  please i got the feeling prince thimothee is not as charming as he may seems to be ». «  maybe he is » she said a huge smile on her face. When aurora finally left  Tiana paused a very friendly hand on her shoulder «  I m here for you and I will always be here to help you achieve your dream just like you were there for me  !  just take me aware so I know if have to protect my best friend » she laughed and hug lottie very tight. 

 small tears fell on lottie face that crossed the smile she was having as hugging her best friend. «  tia you think we are gonna go home ? I miss daddy and Eudora and this is still only one week  we are here » 

«  I m sure  , aurora  told the fairies are working days and days they are gonna find a curse to make us go back home » finally Tiana  leave busy to take care of the closure of the restaurant. 

Alone on her chair she realized , her belly , it was as it it was full of buterfly prince thimothee has make a big impression on her. lottie was feeling it , her intuition was screaming at her that he was ineed a true good man. and now what does she hear ? his wife must be very happy to be away from him right now ? that they only married for political reasons ? Suddently it was like her hopes and dream could be real. Maybe she could have a love story with prince thimothee ? He seems to have like her when they very briefly meet ! or maybe she could even achieve her big dream she had hope since little be a princess ? she laughed she was defintly too much crazy this will never happened. 

She was also not in any way a gold digger no ? she genuinly  wanted to know better  that 11th prince of the southern isles. He seems so nice and kind lottie thought. 

finally her hapiness disapeared  the prince were not making a lot of appeareance since there were there.  they were mainly in their part reserved for the southern isles big family in the hotel. she also didnt wanted to pass for some crazy annoying fans of the princes of the southern isles.

no she needed someone to present her to the prince.

Someone that was also way more approchable ,  than was each days at the bar of the restaurent unlike his brothers.

Someone who  in those bunch of handsome fella was willing do to the worst stuff if it means gain what he wants. she needed to promise him something that was interesting him and what everyone was missing there was money. Prince Henry who had been assigned the role of the leader of the hotel by the curse had already  give  her some part of money. After all she was having food and a bed here ? she could give  him the money and  instead he could makes her meet prince thimothee and assure the communication between them. 

she smirked when she saw her prey  from the distance , His Royal Highness Prince Hans Westergaard of the Southern isles.

[themagicaltunaa]

Answer all the questions

well i have nothing to do so sure

1. What have you eaten today? 

some toast for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and some cereal for dinner

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

never kissed anyone, don't really care about that

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

light grey sneakers

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

Jeremy did, when I was watching his Alien Isolation stream on monday

5. What is your favorite scent?

I love the smell freshly baked goods

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

I love fall. I just love the aesthetic of the season, and my favorite holiday is during fall. I would love to experience it one day

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

lol nope. I was barely able to do it as a kid. If I tried now i’m pretty sure i’ll break something.

8. What color are your nails?

the regular pink color? I don’t paint my nails

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

aw geez, uhhh idk maybe like a tiny star or something

10. What is something you find romantic?

i dont know romantic things 

11. Are you happy?

eh

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

no not really

13. Dogs or Cats?

cats. i like dogs too, but sometimes they’re too much to deal with. i’m more comfortable being with cats

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

museum

15. What is your style?

my style is “im trying”

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

stay up all night to catch up on videos

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

single babeyyyy

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

nothing, because im not attracted to anyone

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

i dont like celebrities

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

i’m pretty sure i’m holding on to a lot of stuff, but I can’t seem to remember anything specific. if this question means metaphorically, the answer still works

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

I went to a drive thru haunted house with my 2 friends, and after we got some taco bell and went to the beach to eat our food. we sat there for like 10 minutes before it started to rain on us

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

nope. I try not to in general , I hate having to make any sort of big decision because I starting stressing 

23. Were you ever in a school play?

I’ve always had stage fright so no

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

uhhhh, I dont watch enough movies to pick one

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? 

oh there’s plenty of things that I've dreamed of doing, but I just can’t do it because of anxiety 

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

I dont like sharing

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

uhhh idk? maybe the whole makeup culture thing? but it’s not like it irritates me I just don’t get it. I can’t really think of a second thing

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

too much to list

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

fuck if i know

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

can’t think of anything rn

31. How long was your longest relationship?

never been in one

32. Have you ever been in love?

pretty sure I have not

33. Are you currently in love?

nope

34. Why did your last relationship end?

see question 31

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

not wearing any atm. actually, I just don’t wear jewelry in general

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

I think it was last week? I don’t remember why, it was probably something stupid

37. Name someone pretty.

the anon that sent me this ask

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

oh! I got a few gifts from my bestie :)

39. Do you get jealous easily?

no

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

no

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

sure

42. Ever had detention?

no because I was a good bean in school

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

city. the countryside sounds nice, but just the thought of being out in the middle of nowhere especially at night makes me nervous 

44. What do people call you?

by my name

45. What was the last book you read?

I do not remember. It’s been years since I’ve read a book

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

uhhh idk

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

anything that catches my fancy. I don’t really stick to one kind of genre

48. How tall are you?

my doctor said I’m allowed to say i’m 5′2

49. Do you like kids?

they’re alright. I can handle be around them for a bit, but I would never want to have any 

50. Favorite fruits?

watermelon, starfruit, and tangerines

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans

52. What’s your earliest memory?

I was like 3-4, and I was at disney world with my family. I remember seeing a stage show of Bear in the Big Blue house, and I remember walking around ToonTown when it still existed

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

i hope not

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it

55. Do you have a collection of anything?

I used to collect seashells as a kid and I still have some of the collection somewhere in my closet. I wanna start a new collection of something but idk what

56. Do you save money or spend it?

i try to save it

57. What would your dream house be like?

something cozy and not too big, with a cat or 2

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

its 11pm at the time of answering this, i really can’t think of anything to fill a list rn

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

see the previous question

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog. i hate my job anyways so I don’t care

61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I would definitely tell my closest friends, and some of my family members, probably my mom’s side of the family. If I had the money to, I would like to travel to some places that i’ve always wanted to go to. I would have a month to accept that i’m gonna die so i think i would be fine. i’d rather get plenty of time to know i’m dying rather than like last minute. this has been a topic that i’ve been thinking of for a while now, not because I’m like thinking about death or anything, I just need something to kill time with at work

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

a heart?

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

aw cmon, I can’t just think of stuff like that on the spot. I don’t even know where I would want to go

64. Do you like the beach?

It’s nice, especially in the early morning when everything is still calm and the beach isn’t packed with people yet

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

no? wtf does someone special mean?

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

Doesn’t everyone have a middle name? But yeah i do and i hate it so im not saying anything

67. Do you talk to yourself?

in my head all the time

68. Describe your hair.

brown, curly, very long because I haven’t cut it in almost a year, it’s very annoying

69. What is the meaning of life.

I wish i knew

70. What is your ideal partner like?

no one

71. Do you want to get married?

no

72. Do you want to have kids?

 ew no

73. Like or dislike your family?

 they’re bearable

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

I’m more than chunky, i’m just straight up fat

75. Would you consider yourself smart?

lol no. I’m an absolute dumbass

76. What would you change about your life?

everything if i could

77. Religious or Not?

no not really

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

I don’t drink so this would never happen

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

it sure isnt because no one is there

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

uhhhh no. I don’t really care tbh

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

idk

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

i’m not opening the door because no one is there

83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

ehh not really. It’ll just make it frizzy

84. Do you like bubble baths?

no

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

I need to drive in order for that to happen

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

no. its not fun getting soaked in the rain

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

not really? 

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

why does god allow suffering

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

1.greece

2. peru

3.disney world only because I have not been to all the parks yet, also i can bug my brother while i’m there

theres a lot more but i’m too tired to fill out the rest of the list

90. How was your day today?

it was fine

91. Play an instrument?

used to play mellophone/french horn in band in high school. after I graduated I haven’t touched an instrument since

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

it’s scary

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

aliens as anything that counts as a living organism not of this world, not green little men from mars nonsense. the universe is too big for only life to be on earth. for ghosts, i’m still iffy about them, but that doesn’t mean i’m gonna start walking around haunted places and call the ghosts a bitch

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

abosolutely not. every day I regret all the decisions i’ve made through my life. does that mean I’m trying to fix said mistakes or try not to do them again? lol no 

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

in my mind i do. I’m too scared of everyone to actually do it

96. When are you vulnerable?

always

97. How much free time do you have?

doesn’t feel like much. saturday and sunday go by way too fast and i feel like when i go home from work theres just not enough to relax. im tired all the time

98. Do you like to go hiking?

never been

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

even

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

no because I actually have self preservation. I am also a very big chicken

[sofiessketches]

NASASocial experience at JPL

This is a LONG one, so I’m gonna put it under a readmore! 

This was my first ever NASA Social, so I didn’t really know what to expect when I applied, what the chances were or what other sorts of people would be there. I was surprised I even got in, because compared to some of the other people I have very few followers, but I think there’s more to it than that! As Stephanie, the head of social media at JPL, said, “You were chosen for your insatiable curiosity, and for the stories you tell”. I really appreciate that the selection process was more about being a creator of SOMETHING that you truly care about.

I’ve been to JPL several times for tours and lectures, but it’s always exciting to come up to the front..there was a really long line, I’m assuming because of the event and also traditional media that was there to interview people.

Got my badge and headed in, and said good morning to the Curiosity model! (which I wish was as detailed as the real thing..I still love her tho. I’ve just been spoiled having gone on tours and doing a lot of research on Curiosity that I was able to spot what’s missing..)

Admiring how the light hits her..er..Chemcam

I never get tired of looking at this piece, but this was the first time I actually checked out the plaque next to it, which had a helpful diagram!

An installation displaying the information from the GRACE (Gravity Recovery and Climate Experiment) and GRACE Follow-on missions, which in the words of my friend Sirina, shows us how screwed we are, in a beautiful way! I also realized the reason the screens are this shape is because the spacecraft are shaped like that...!

JPL’s inspiring slogan in a beautiful geometric typeface B)

We got to the meeting/conference room, with portraits of all JPL’s past and present directors around. The last seat at the front table appeared to be taken by the Mars 2020 wheel, so I asked if I could sit there with the wheel, and my day was made! I have to admit this may have been the highlight of my day. One of the first JPL-specific drawings I did was a study of an image Curiosity had taken of her own wheels on Mars, and after that I read a lot about how the wheels worked and how the design was less than ideal..it makes me happy to see the next iteration and how it’ll work out!

No pointy grousers for the sharp Mars rocks to snag on here!!! Just this...veeeeery shallow S-curve.

Everyone hanging out and social media-ing before the event began, waiting for more people to get there. I happened to sit next to a couple people I had pre-stalked on Twitter from the list they made of participants!

LOSING MY MIND EVEN MORE THAT WE COULD TOUCH AND PICK UP THE WHEEL???!?!!? It was pretty light, since it was a 3D model and not made of actual aluminum.

Lookin cute together. This is Kevin Baird, an awesome photographer! The only patches we had in common were the NASA meatball (not even the same one, though) and the SOFIA patch, which was strangely almost in the same spot on both of our jackets.. (on the back left side)

Then Stephanie, JPL’s social media head, came and proposed to us with space grade aerogel, and of course we all said yes. 

After an introduction, Linda, another social media expert at JPL, brought over a top secret looking box, which she explained will have some cool graphics relating to Mars 2020 on the front and inside soon (excited to see that!!)

Inside were material samples of several components of Mars 2020, including the many layered thermal blanket, the ropes that will lower the rover onto the surface of Mars (which can hold the weight of 1 car EACH, and the rover will be suspended by 80 of them) as well as the parachute material (orange), which was remade for better strength and lightness. 

We also got to hold a replica of the sample cache tubes that Mars 2020 will be filling!

At 10:00, the event we were there for, the State of NASA, came on (a budget rollout explaining briefly how much money the government will be giving to NASA in 2021 and what it’s for) so we watched Jim Bridenstein in front of some incredible engines...

And I just..get excited when I see the rover on the screen ok..

There was a super cool internal view of how the Mars 2020 will be depositing sample caches! The video is below:

Anyway, the budget rollout declared 22 billion to NASA and 3.3 billion of that to the development of the human landing system, which will go toward landing humans and science on the moon for the Artemis program. You can read more here about this.

After that, Director Watkins and Dr Zurbuchen came to answer questions, and we learned a bit about Mars Sample Return, and the mission that will come before that but after Mars 2020, which will map icy areas in Mars’ poles. (Really looking forward to learning more about that!!) I gave Dr Zurbuchen some stickers I made and he gave me his card......!

Soon after, we headed to the Science building, to learn about MOXIE (Mars Oxygen In-Situ Resource Utilization Experiment) (I’ve noticed, the bigger the budget on these missions, the more effort they put into making the acronyms for everything sound cool) This technology demonstration is on Mars 2020 to prepare for larger scale carbon dioxide to oxygen conversion from Mars’ atmosphere for human use. This size of MOXIE creates only about enough oxygen to keep a small dog alive. Still impressive!!!

Wandered around the MOXIE lab a little and took a peek at the rest of what was on the walls and tables..

After that, we went to the Spacecraft Assembly Facility, where Mars 2020 was not, but that’s a good thing! I’m actually not sure which part is in the box there.. but soon after we left, it left too!

Teeny tiny Mars 2020 model hidden at the end of the viewing area...

Best.

At the indoor mars yard, a couple InSight engineers talked to us about how they use this area to test software before they send it to Mars. Here from left to right are the engineering models for Mars2020, InSight, and Curiosity.

Her name is Maggie!

One of my goals in life is to be able to stand in front of the arm and draw it until I understand what the hell is going on.

Also going to insert some pics I took last week because I was lucky enough to get a tour from my friend Sirina, where there were engineers inside working on the arm:

Next, we headed to the Mars Sample Return testbed!

It makes me excited to be in the rooms with dirt regolith inside.. also SmalBoSSE is the best acronym I’ve seen all day...

The “volleyball” that Mars 2020′s sample caches will eventually be stored in, to be fetched by another rover, launched into orbit around Mars and picked up to be sent back to Earth! 

More freaking out about rover wheels. This is a prototype of one that will be on the rover to pick up the samples; the wire is slightly deformable which is great for offroad Mars action.

The rover will be a joint effort between NASA and ESA.

I love seeing these posters with hints of other projects going on. So cool!!

Last stop (cry) was Mission Control, aka The Center of the Universe, where all the data the Deep Space Network gets from spacecraft comes in.

The view from inside from my previous tour!

*eyes emoji when I see Mars 2020*

The darkroom and Curiosity’s Ace’s desk, where they send commands to Curiosity at 10:30AM Mars time.

Spitzer’s end of mission from Monday (top) vs the day after it was decommissioned (bottom).

Center of the Universe!!!

Ouagh don’t step on it! Well you can..

It was sad to say goodbye to our excellent guides, but we’ll be keeping in touch!! ;)

I also got a bunch of awesome pictures taken of me, which I was surprised by, because usually I’m the last one people take pics of..! 

My jacket, which they posted on JPL’s instagram... gosh!!!!!!

And some stickers/new business card design (did I post this here yet??) I gave to everyone I met!

Displayed at Shannon Forrey’s desk!

This was a truly amazing experience, my first time attending one of these events, I learned so much and had such a great time surrounded by inspiring and talented people. Thank you again to everyone at JPL who made it possible and to all the scientists and engineers who took the time to share their work with us! I’ll never forget this day.

Also, I want to make some art based off what I learned, so keep an eye out for that in the upcoming weeks!

[snapchattingnct]

One of Many Reasons Why

Mark Lee x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2.7K Warnings: cursing, minor religion mentioned

Summary: There were many reasons to love Mark Lee…

Notes: Happiest of birthdays to our baby lion, Mark Lee. I had a totally different piece written for his birthday but I completely scrapped it and wrote this instead. And I like it so much better. -  K 🌱

1. Circle Frames

Mark usually wore contacts most of the time, which was disappointing since he looked so stinking cute in those precious circle frames of his. But whenever he got too lazy or forgot to buy more contacts, he would end up wearing his glasses instead. And those were moments that you lived for. You couldn’t help but coo at how cute he looked each time that he wore them, taking a billion pictures of him as you did so. Mark would simply push away your phone, becoming incredibly flustered, telling you, “Ugh, babe stop….”

2. Messy Love Notes

Mark had a habit of writing you little love notes every chance he got. Most of the time, his love notes were never written on a clean sheet of paper. They were usually short blurbs scribbled messily on whatever he could get his hands on; a Starbucks napkin, on the back of his music theory quiz, a crumpled up post-it note. But that didn’t matter, you loved it regardless.

Unfolding the folded love note Mark had slipped to you in passing earlier, you couldn’t help but smile as you read the messily written note on the corner of a flashcard. ‘I love you to the moon and back.’

3. Secret Handshakes

For someone who was extremely clumsy and sometimes a little uncoordinated, Mark loved making secret handshakes for all of his friends. And you weren’t an exception. Since the day that you’ve met each other, way before the two of you became a couple, you and Mark have been adding a new move to your guys’ handshake. Each time that you two saw each other, it still amazes you how either one of you were able to memorize all the moves at this point.

4. Baby Giggles

No matter how much, Mark loves to deny it. Mark Lee was nothing but a big baby. He is the epitome of a baby. Especially when he giggles and laughs at things that he finds amusing. Even though he’s older, whenever that cute giggle of his slips passed his lips, you can’t help but feel a sense of overprotectiveness overcome you. Mark Lee was to be protective at all cost because he’s simply precious like that.

5. Goofball

Sometimes it was so hard to take Mark seriously because at the end of the day, he was nothing but a goofball. He would laugh at the simplest things, the lamest jokes, and the cheesiest puns. The best part was that even when it wasn’t funny, he would still laugh. And he just had the most contagious laugh in the whole world. So you couldn’t help but laugh along with him until your stomach hurt.

6. Warm Cuddles

Maybe you were biased but Mark gave the best hugs and was the best cuddle buddy in the world. No one could compare. The best kind are the ones that he gave on those calm, Sunday mornings. Eyes barely open and mind barely awake, Mark would pull you closer, sharing his warmth with you. Then with a lazy hand, he would thread his fingers through your hair. Mumbling softly into your hair, he would say, “Let’s just stay in bed all day babe…”

7. Burnt Eggs

It was a universally acknowledged fact that Mark Lee was a terrible cook. He wasn’t even able to boil water without it evaporating completely. He was honestly that bad of a cook. So the one morning that he decided that it would be a brilliant idea to wake up early and make you an omelette for breakfast, he almost burned down half the building. From then on, Mark was completely banned from the kitchen stove. These days, he still wakes up early and prepares breakfast for you though. Except he just orders it from your favorite bakery down the street, which was a much better option for everyone.

8. Watermelon Boy

There were two things in the world that Mark Lee loved with his entire heart. Of course, one of those things was you. But the love he had for watermelon was equally as strong. Honestly speaking, had he not met you in this lifetime, you were sure that he would have ended up marrying a watermelon.

He was all yours for three seasons out of four. When summer hit though, that was a completely different story because with summer comes the watermelons. Surprisingly with how much he buys and brings home everyday, you weren’t sick of eating all that watermelon. It might have been the cute, happy smile that he has on his face each time he ate them that made it worth it.

9. What the Flute?

Mark Lee was talented at a lot of things; rapping, composing, singing, dancing, and the list simply goes on and on. But the one thing that he wasn’t good at playing the flute. The day that you had found the instrument case of his flute back from primary school was the day that you realized that there were some things that Mark couldn’t do. You had teased him, calling him a cute band geek as you pulled the case out from the back of his closet. Flipping through the old music scores, you asked him if he could still play it.

Shrugging his shoulders, he said, “Maybe? I’m not sure. It’s been a while.”

And it has been a while because the moment that he held the flute up to his lips and tried to play it, nothing but squeaks came out. This left you rolling on the floor laughing as you clutched your stomach in pain. The laughing didn’t stop as Mark continued to give his best effort in playing the flute.

Let’s just say that his primary school days of playing in a marching band were long over.

10. Team Android

No matter how many times you had urged him to upgrade his phone to an iPhone, Mark continued to stay loyal to that android of his. You didn’t have a problem with him having an android. No, not at all. You just wanted to be able to use all the cute talking emojis on iMessage.

11. Fully Capable

It was pretty rare for Mark to ever feel nervous about his performances and presentations. Mark was one of the top students in their music department. He was the department’s golden child. He could literally do anything that he would set his mind to. You had just wished that he knew that he was good enough and he didn’t have anything to fear.

One night, during finals, Mark was on the verge of a mental breakdown as he tried to finish the composition for his music theory class. As he angrily tossed aside his notebook and guitar, you came up to him and immediately pulled him into your arms. With a soothing hand running through his hair, you said, “Hey, it’s okay babe.”

Mumbling incoherently into the nape of your neck, “No, it’s not… I can’t even rearrange this stupid simple song. How am I supposed to do anything in life?”

“You’re just thinking too hard about it. Relax, babe.”

“How the hell am I supposed to relax when I have nothing finished and this is due in like five hours?” He cried out, clearly frustrated.

Pulling away from the embrace, you cupped his face in between the palm of your hands, forcing him to look at you directly in the eye. “Hey. Seriously. Quit being so negative right now. This isn’t like you. Because the Mark Lee I know is a music genius and he’s absolutely fully capable of anything and everything.”

12. Butterfly Kisses

Kisses from Mark were also the best and you might be a little biased again, but it’s the truth. Sometimes Mark gets a little too shy to kiss you outright on the lips, so he showers you with butterfly kisses instead. First, he’ll bring your hand to his lips and kiss the back of it. Then he’ll pull you in close and place a fleeting kiss on your temple. Then your cheeks, then your nose, and lastly your lips.

13. Multilingual King

Even after knowing Mark for so many years, it still amazes you how many languages the boy knows and can pick up on so quick. He was like your own personal translator when you guys when on trips to foreign countries. But it was also funny how he would stumble over his words sometimes when he’s trying to switch between languages. When that happens, he just puts his hands out in a pausing motion, shouting, “Okay. Wait, wait. I need to switch my brain over.”

14. Corny Jokes

The jokes that he tells you and the ones that he finds funny are ones that are rivaling of your dad’s. His sense of humor was really one of a father in their mid-thirties.

As the two of you sit there side by side, enjoying a bowl of cold watermelon, he begins to laugh obnoxiously before he can even say the joke. Already prepared for the worst joke in the world, you sit there, staring straight back at him with an unamused look.

After he’s finished with his laughing fit, he smiles and feeds you a piece of watermelon, saying, “Babe, you’re one in a melon.”

15. Spiderman Mark Lee

For Halloween, Mark’s friends decided to throw a Marvel themed party and it was the best idea that they could ever come up with. Why? Because Mark Lee decided to go to the party as Spiderman. And you may or may not have a crush on Peter Parker but Mark didn’t need to know that.

But when he got tired of all the drinking games that his friends were playing, he scouted you out amongst the crowd. And when he saw that you were sitting on the swing set that Jaemin’s family had in the backyard, he came up with the most brilliant plan.

Sneaking up behind you as quiet as he could, Mark climbed on top of the jungle gym above the swings. Then nearly scaring the living daylights out of you, he swung downwards, straight in front of your face, whispering, “Hey.”

“Oh my gosh! Mark Lee!” You screamed. Hand clutching your racing heart, you breathed out heavily through your nose. “You can’t go around and do things like this and not expect me to die from a premature heart attack!”

“Sorry,” he laughed. Then pulling the ends of his mask up, he whispered softly, “Here, take a kiss as my apology.”

And you might have just died when he said that because that was such a classic Spiderman move.

16. Billionaire

The day the ‘Billionaire’ by Bruno Mars had came on the radio as the two of you were studying, it instantly became your guys’ song. It was on repeat for the longest of time, to the point to where you both knew the rap and vocal parts equally by heart. Each time that it came on, you didn’t have to think for a second before you’re belting out the chorus together, whether it was out in public or in the comfort of your own apartment. You didn’t care because it was your song.

17. Driver’s License

For someone his age, you would think that he would have a driver’s license by now. But nope, that wouldn’t be Mark Lee would it?

One day as you’re picking him up from his shift at the music store down the street from his apartment complex you couldn’t help but ask, “Don’t you think you should get your driver’s license? I mean you’re almost twenty one...”

Nodding, Mark said in reply, “Yeah, I probably should…”

And that he did.

Because the next day, before the sun was even up, he came knocking on your apartment’s door. Barely awake, you had answered the door with annoyance, yanking it open, “Babe. It’s not even eight. What do you want?”

“Well, good morning to you too, princess.” Mark chuckled.

After closing the door, he follows you back to your bedroom, where you flopped rather ungracefully back onto your bed. Crawling into the empty space beside you, he tucked a strand behind your ear, smiling as he stares back at you intently. “Guess what I did this morning?”

Leaning into his touch, you close your eyes, relishing in the warmth that he was giving off. With a soft hum, you asked half-asleep, “What did you do?”

“I got my driver’s license.”

Eyes shooting wide open and mouth completely agape, you exclaimed, “You what?!”

Scrambling to sit up, you slapped him on the shoulder, making him laugh even harder. “Wait, hold up.” You said as you held your hands up, trying to wrap your mind around what Mark has just told you. Sputtering, “You… actually went and got a driver’s license? You know I was just joking right?”

“Yeah, but I figured that it was time to get one anyways.” He smiled. “Plus it was a piece of cake.”

“Only you, Mark Lee. Only you.”

“Yes, that would be me. I am Mark Lee.”

“Oh shush,” you couldn’t help but laugh. Then extending your hand out to him, you gave him a sweet smile. “Alright, the moment of truth. Let me see that driver’s license photo.”

The smile on his lips widen even more as he reached into his back pocket and retrieved his wallet. Then placing his freshly new driver’s license into the palm of your awaiting hand, he leaned back satisfied.

And course he would be satisfied. Mark looked devilishly handsome on his license. But you couldn’t help but tease him about it as you pinched his cheeks, saying, “Aww look at our Markie Poo being all cool and handsome.”

Pushing your hands away from his face, Mark snatched his license back and tucked it away into his wallet. Then opening his arms, he asked, “Alright, are we going to cuddle or are you going to continue making fun of me?”

“Who says that I can’t do both?” You told him teasingly as you tucked yourself into his waiting arms, snuggling up against his warm body.

18. Baby Lion

“Baby Lion”, that was one of the many nicknames that you had for Mark. You weren’t quite sure where the nickname had come from. But the day that you saw Mark wake up from his nap, stretching and yawning like a cute baby cub with his hair a complete disarray, it clicked.

19. Religious Boy

Mark Lee was a wholesome, kind-hearted, and precious boy. He would never fail to remind you how he is ever so thankful that God had allowed someone like you to enter into his life; to have someone to love and support through thick and thin. He told you once that he prays for your health and happiness every night before he sleeps and you couldn’t help but feel that there really wasn’t another Mark Lee in this world.

20. Black Haired Mark

You honestly didn’t think that Mark could get any handsomer than he already was until the day he came back from the barber shop and had his hair dyed black. Without warning, he had sneaked up behind and wrapped his arms around you as the two of you stood in the kitchen. You were too busy reviewing your study notes and drinking your morning coffee to notice his new hair. But when you did, you were nothing but a sputtering mess and spilling coffee all over the counter.

Mouth agape, you exclaimed, “Oh. My. Gosh. Your hair…”

Nodding his head, he ruffled his hair shyly. “Yeah. I figured it was time for a change. Spice it up a little bit from the classic brown.”

The words had left your mouth before you could stop it, “Yeah, spice it up alright, because you look hot.”

21. Best Friend

Before the two of you even became a couple, you were each other’s best friend. Mark was the best friend that you could only dream of having. He laughed with you at the stupid things you did and tries to make you feel better about yourself. Even when you don’t want to hear it, Mark gives you the most honest advice and makes sure to keep you in check. He’s always there for you, even when he’s thousands of miles away for vacations with his family or concerts for the music department. He makes sure that he is the first to say ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ to you. And last but not least, Mark loves you at your best and he still loves you even at your worst.

[vetoing-clocks]

Decepticon!Hot Rod Anniversary Q&A

Yes! It happened! On November 13th, 2018, I posted a vignette on Ao3 based on the idea “What if Hot Rod had become a Decepticon in ‘Autocracy’ (and dated Deadlock)?”

365 days and 44,8k words later, the deceptirod AU is still going and I still have plans and ideas for it.

It’s been a huge year for me. I learned a lot as a writer. I achieved some things in my professional path. I made friends in the fandom and got some loyal readers.

I wish I’d noticed sooner that the anniversary was coming up, I would have had something written for today. Since that couldn’t be, I want to thank everyone that sent questions for this hastily put together q&a. I hope you enjoy this glimpse into this little universe I’ve been building.

Everything’s under the cut.

As usual, thank you for reading these fics. This series wouldn’t have gone beyond that first oneshot without the interest and support of all of you.

Anon: So it’s implied events pan out the same as they do when Roddy steals the matrix for the Autobots. Have you ever thought about what happens after? Would Deadlock/Drift’s arc have still happened?

Fun fact: I’ve got this whole AU planned up to the point in which “Transformers: Lost Light” ended. Saying more would be a spoiler.

@kyrinthewarrior​: How did you come up with the idea of Thunderbird and Doctor?

Last year I was writing a canon divergent TFP fic (that’s been on hiatus for over a year, I’m so sorry) in which Starscream realized that he’d never, ever win and decided to become neutral. One of the plot points in it was that Starscream accidentally inspired the Vehicons to start a liberation movement, which included taking names and picking the pronouns they felt fit each one best. Doctor is a character from there, but the name’s different in that fic (hasn’t shown up yet in that fic, actually). I didn’t see any reason to invent a new character to be the medic in Pache when I could just grab one that already existed.

Thunderbird was, like every TF OC I make, an accident. I needed a character with information that could interact with Hot Rod and tell him the things he had no way of finding out on his own (the Great Carrot knows I love Rod, but he’s not in charge of anything that would give him access to privileged information). Now, we have plenty of cold and serious calculating characters, so I decided to write someone that would purposefully try to get everyone to think he’s harmless and good. Someone you’d want to be friends with and would never ever suspect of having a mental file in which he keeps every sign of weakness you’ve displayed around them and who would sell you to Satan for a corn chip if they felt the corn chip was more important than you. Then I went to my list of potential OC names, picked the one I liked best, and Thunderbird was born. The heelys, though, are there because I find them funny (this AU, like many things I do, runs on a delicate balance of things that I love to read, things I find fascinating to explore, and things that appeal to my sense of humor).

@marsreds​: Favorite line you've published?

“I’m sorry, but I love you.”

@marsreds​: Favorite line you've written?

Oof, this is hard, but I’m gonna go with, “Because something has to matter. Because something has to be done. Because there’s nothing else I can do.”

Although I’m also terribly fond of Doctor’s lines about why Medicine’s patron is Adaptus, not Primus. I have a whole mental essay about why Primus being Medicine’s patron doesn’t work, and I’m turning it into a fic one day.

@marsreds​: What do you look forward most to writing?

In general, any bit that foreshadows unwritten fics, or any bit that’s a callback to a previus story (especially when it’s a fic I haven posted yet). Basically, bits that should be rewarding to anyone that decides to re-read the series.

@marsreds​: What even set you off to make this au in the first place?

We were on Discord and someone started talking about how easily Hot Rod could have become a Decepticon. We started talking about how some things would have gone differently, but also how we could keep the canon timeline pretty much the same, and it led to “Hot Rod realizes how messed up their faction has become, so he steals the Matrix anyway and gets shot.” That’s when a line started forming in my mind and I had to write it. 90 minutes later, “The cold” had been written, and from there I had to keep playing in the sandbox. There was too much to explore.

@marsreds​: Can you believe that we didn't know each other when you published the first installment of this?

Wait, we didn’t????????? Didn’t you link me to the server where this whole thing started?

Huh. Wow. You’ve been so present throughout all the plotting that I guess I can’t picture this without you at the beginning.

@marsreds​: What's something that surprised you while you were writing it?

How much it grew. Not as a plotline, but as a world. This was supposed to be an exploration of the progressive distortion of the Decepticon ideal disguised as a hotlock slowburn. I’d maybe throw in one or two OCs from “Such a big deal, though” to make the world seem more populated and believable. Then I was writing “Crash and burn” and I realized I couldn’t really talk about the Decepticons without the Decepticons, but I didn’t know enough about canon characters to fill the world with recognizable names, which forced me to create my own characters. They were supposed to be background characters, show up for a couple scenes, fulfill their roles and disappear forever, and instead they had personalities, alt-modes, and whole stories inside my mind that I can only hint at. It went from feeling like my little AU fanfic to my own alternate timeline, like maybe Brainstorm’s briefcase made it exist and it’s as “real” as everything that’s been published and has aired throughout the years.

Connected to that, I’ve also been surprised by the reaction to this bigger world. I’ve seen someone include Doctor and Thunderbird in their own AU. You declared Crystal Wing your favorite and get super protective of him. I’ve been asked what Thunderbird looks like, and everyone seems fascinated by him. It makes it all feel more and more like its own canon timeline that simply hasn’t been recognized by Hasbro, and that makes me happy.

@marsreds​: Something you would've done differently?

Not really? Nothing that can’t be edited, like the writing in “Alive”, or the bits I’ll eventually add to “Crash and burn” and “Nightlight”.

@marsreds​: How do you come up with names for things?

For characters, I mostly use rollercoasters. I went on Wikipedia one day, found a list of rollercoasters, and wrote down all the names that sounded like they could be used for OCs. Some have been given by others and one is a very unsubtle historical reference that made me feel embarrassed by how shameless it was (there’s a while until you see that name, though).

For places, I think of what happens in the fic in which they’re first named. Then I think of something associated to the events, or to the description of the planet, and then I pick a word that alludes to said events/description and which amuses me. Basically, every planet name is a joke/reference/unsubtle-nod-to-the-plot. All of them. Not very funny jokes, sure, but definitely things that made me feel very clever.

@marsreds​: Am i a good editor and do i actually contribute to the process or are you just humoring me?

Mars, if you didn’t contribute to the process I could just ignore you. When I disagree with your suggestions, I tell you so. When your suggestions make me cry inside but I agree they’re good, I follow them. When your suggestions add to the story, I gladly include them. You’re stuck as my editor until you get sick of me.

@marsreds​: Are hotlock gonna be invited to the thunderdice wedding?

Hot Rod and Deadlock won’t be invited to the thunderdice wedding.

But if there was any way for Hot Rod and Deadlock to be invited, they’d be invited by the groom. The bride doesn’t want to see Deadlock ever again.

@marsreds​: If you had to make a thesis statement for this au, what would it be?

Kindness. That might sound odd in what’s mostly been a slow burn set during a war, but kindness is what everything is built on here. Hot Rod cares about people, cares even when it might get him killed, because somebody has to. Back in Nyon, it was him and the other gutter mechs looking after each other. In “Crash and burn”, his kindness is what saved him, the fact that others remembered what he’d done for them. His kindness is what makes him stand out to Deadlock. It’s his kindness that makes him start doubting the cause and eventually steal the Matrix.

But it’s not only him. Deadlock doesn’t know how to be kind, but he can follow Hot Rod’s lead, follow his example until he can perform kindness on his own. Doctor is in Medicine for selfish reasons, but still goes and puts medgrade in Hot Rod’s hands when he looks like shit, and forces Thunderbird to take care of himself despite knowing he’s a bastard. Thunderbird cares only about himself and his best friend, but he doesn’t see any reason to be rude to people that might be dead the next day.

Kindness is not a weakness and there’s no mold for it. Kindness doesn’t mean never fighting, or never doing anything bad. It just means that, if there’s a good thing you can do, a good thing you know you can do, and there’s no reason not to do it, you should do it. It may never be repaid or it might save your life. You put some good in the world because somebody has to do it. And maybe in the real world kindness won’t be rewarded as it should, but this is fiction, and I’m allowed to write a world in which kindness is valued, even during something as terrible as a war, because it’s a promise, it’s hope, it’s something to hold on to and to remind you that things aren’t always bad.

The thesis is: Hot Rod was kind, and that was the right course of action.

@marsreds​: What would be this au's theme song?

Be More Kind - Frank Turner

@marsreds​: What's deadlock's favourite thing about hot rod? and hot rod's about deadlock?

Deadlock likes that Hot Rod lets him bite him.

Just kidding. Can I say kindness again? But yeah. The fact that Hot Rod cares for everyone. Deadlock came from the streets and was used to nobody giving a damn about him. He joined the Decepticons and got used to being valued for being a fighter. Enter Hot Rod, who values everyone no matter their rank, simply because they’re on his faction. The moment Hot Rod knows you’re on his side, you become one of his people. He’ll take care of you. To Deadlock, Hot Rod is a shelter.

As for Hot Rod? He likes how reliable Deadlock is. He likes that Deadlock seems to have clear loyalties and principles and he sticks to them. If Deadlock says he’s going to follow you until the end of the universe, you can be sure he will. If Deadlock decides to help you, he’ll be there no matter what. If Deadlock has decided that something is wrong, then you can be sure he won’t be looking for loopholes that allow him to do it anyway. He likes that Deadlock is there for him and will always be there for him as long as he deserves it. To Hot Rod, Deadlock is a pillar.

@marsreds​: Objectively, is deadlock considered hot in this universe? (i know hot rod's considered attractive but that's just his personality)

This one technically goes against my “How do I interact with my fiction” rules, because it refers to a detail I’m probably never showing/implying in the text.

What I’m saying is: you are free to ignore this answer if you don’t like it.

It amuses me to think Deadlock is average, physically speaking. People like his face when he’s not doing the murdercat expression, but he’s almost always doing the murdercat expression and has the social skills of a toothpick.

It also amuses me to think that the Autobots think he looks edgy. It’s the bad boy appeal. Hot Rod would find that hilarious.

@marsreds​: What do you like the most about their relationship that is present in this au but not in canon(ish) iterations of these characters?

I wrote three very salty paragraphs in reply to this and proceeded to delete them. Nobody needs that. To be brief, what I like about their relationship here is that their friendship means something to them. Even if this series ended with Hot Rod marrying Thunderbird and Deadlock marrying Doctor, you’d know for sure that there’s so much trust, companionship and love (and I don’t mean romantic love) between them that they’d be in each other’s lives as best friends until one of them died.

@squireofgeekdom: Any songs you associate with any of your OCs?

None yet, surprisingly?

Anon: What sort of key points do you keep in mind to keep track of where characters should be emotionally/in their arc when you're writing stories set at very different points in time, and not necessarily writing them in linear order? It's all very much coherent character/relationship arcs and I'm just very impressed - and the cohesiveness overall. Are there themes that you try to keep consistent across stories to build that?

Pre-Matrix stealing I have a clear idea of how things progress relating to key events, because it’s all very linear. The first relevant change in the relationship happens in “Triage” (still unwritten, sorry), so I know that any ideas for fics that happen before that will have to fit a certain pattern. The next big change is “Nightlight”, because it’s when the mutual pining starts. Before that, it’s only Hot Rod being invested in their friendship. Then it’s only mutual pining until “Declaration...”, and from then on things are mostly stable until “Home” (also unwritten, sorry again).

The hotlock dynamic progresses with their feelings. The only important thing I have to keep in mind is that they must be friends first and love interests second. If I can’t believe that these two genuinely like each other, then it’s time for a re-write. Cybertronians have long lives, which means their friendship must deepen as time passes, and so I can have them noticing or knowing more about each other the later in the timeline a fic is set.

Relating to OCs, there are key elements that will never ever change and which form the base of the interactions. For example, Doctor’s only goal in life is to survive; related to that, Doctor is unimpressed by, but extremely wary of, Thunderbird, despises Deadlock (I’m not talking funny rivalry, I’m talking a feeling that borders on disgust, of finding a person that so absolutely opposes the core of your being that you daydream of beating their face to a pulp and leaving them out for the wolves), and is fond of Hot Rod despite being certain he’ll get himself killed one day. Thunderbird likes to know things for the sake of knowing things and thinks life is one big cosmic joke and that taking it seriously is a mistake; because of that, he’s curious about Hot Rod and really wants to know what will become of him, is reluctanctly fascinated by Doctor, and the only person he loves besides himself is Crystal Wing. Crystal Wing is so slow that he knows he has to use his time wisely, so he’s always in a good mood (it takes too long to overcome a negative emotion), likes everyone immediately (it’s faster to dislike someone than learn to like them), and always says exactly what he means without adornments or metaphors.

As for plotting, I keep notes of key events and the rest is fluid. I know what’s going to happen in “Home”, so I’m free to foreshadow it when I get the chance. I know what happened in “Triage”, so I can write callbacks if I feel they fit the story.

About themes... There are a lot of things this AU is about, but off the top of my head I can mention:

Kindness

Making one (1) person the key to your emotional development is fucked up

Who we are and who we become can’t be traced back to one moment. We’re all the result of thousands of interactions and events that pile up and which we choose to see in a certain way to justify the person we are or want to be

Friendship!

Everything I write must be in accordance to these ideas. Themes and cohesiveness go before everything else, even my own ego and need for approval. Surprising my audience is not as important as feeling I respected the characters and the story.

@choomchoom: Is Hot Rod’s history as an insurgency leader in Nyon commonly known amongst the Decepticons? If not, how did Deadlock find out?

Yes and no. This might count as a spoiler? Stop reading here if you don’t want to know absolutely anything about fics that I’ll write someday.

When Hot Rod arrived, his past was used as propaganda. “Look at the mech we brought in. Someone willing to do whatever it takes in the fight against the Autobots.” Anyone who was around high command or near the area when Hot Rod joined the Decepticons knows his past. After that, it was part of the information in the starter pack. After a while, it wasn’t relevant anymore, and so newer recruits don’t know about his past and might have only heard about this crazy mech that drags injured soldiers out of the battlefield.

@choomchoom: Also if no one has asked about music yet I would love some song recs to cry and swoon to the next time you post an update.

I have a playlist that’s 95% somewhat serious and/or shippy songs (the remaining 5% is “Despacito” and I have no regrets).

Highlights from it include:

The already linked “Be More Kind”, which is this AU’s thesis

The hotlock theme is Los Tres’ “Amor Violento” (loose translation of relevant lyrics: “I’ll spend my whole life in buying yours [...] Love will have to wait for a good while to rest from you and I [...] Because a violent love blinded us / A violent love fulminated us”)

For the post-Matrix stealing to the point at which the war ends, the song is Silversun Pickups’ “Growing Old Is Getting Old”. It also fits for that point at which you realize that your faction has strayed from its original vision

For the Decepticons in the beginning, Los Prisioneros’ “El Baile De Los Que Sobran” (”Join the dance of the left overs / Nobody’s going to miss us / Nobody truly wanted to help us / When we were small we were told / ‘Make studying your game’ / Men are brothers and must work together [...] And it wasn’t so true / Because in the end those games were for others / That ended up with laurels and a future / And left my friends kicking rocks”)

A bit of a post-Nyon mood: Coldplay’s “42″

[mycandylavynder]

Episode 12 Thoughts (Spoiled)

This episode was pretty bleh in my opinion, apart from the LI. I absolutely hated the internet went down concept. I thought it was stupid and it was annoying watching everyone act like idiots. I wish the cell company just lost a cell tower instead of the entire internet went down. That would have made more sense. But, whatever. When does Beemoov ever make sense?

I'm glad Rosa and Alexy finally made up so we don't have to waste AP on their stupid feud in episode 13. I'm just so over them at this point. Rosa's outfit was absolutely ridiculous but it fit her since she is absolutely extra. I was pretty bored hanging out with them and welcomed the distraction of auntie.

I don't understand auntie at all. She is so weird. But I love seeing what weird shenanigans she has gotten herself into.

Hyun was also another great distraction. As awkward as it was to be in the middle of his family drama, I'm so glad we got to meet his mom and dad. I seriously love his mom and dad. His mom is gorgeous. I hope we get to meet his sisters in the near future. But I really liked the whole encounter. Hyun is sweet and has grown on me through the episodes.

Now on Nath's route, you start out cuddling in your dorm and he writes the note. But you wake up and he reads it to you and you hug and snuggle and fluff it up. Ugh! I loved it. I love how affectionate he is now that he has been able to open up to Candy. I loved how he came back and asked about the article in the newspaper. I liked that he was able to trust Candy when she said nothing happened and didn't push it or make a big deal. He has definitely matured. I'm interested to see what he says in that scene if you did accept Castiel's one night stand proposal.

Now the ending with Nath. AHHHHH! I loved it!

I loved when he took Candy's hand in a show of male dominance against Castiel. Lol like yes Nath. Claim her. And I loved how what he said to her when he made it official. Who ever writes his route makes me happy. I love his tenderness and vulnerability. It's the best. I look forward to seeing how we get him out the drug cartel.

Now. For Castiel.

The morning after with him went how I thought it would. He was cold and casual, a seesaw of brooding emotional distress. But who ever writes his route writes some strange dialogue. Maybe the dialogue is smoother in other servers, but in English I just feel like some of the wording in both Candy and Castiel's dialogue is awkward, choppy, and downright cringe worthy. But if you pick the right answers in the morning and get the hell out of there fast, it isn't that bad but if you stay and voice your feelings...just ugh...

Then Candy spends all day moping about the situation and how he is a total booty hole. She even falls asleep listening to his music. Weak sauce Candy! Don't give that tool any listens. He is in the wrong, not you.

Then you run into him at night and he actually tells you that he has been hiding in the shadows waiting for you... Like wtf Cas. Lol What kind of cringe is that? I mean I get WHY but don't ADMIT that, you creep. I mean save a little face. I just can't deal with the dialogue sometimes. Lol

I will say this though, I am so glad he opened up to her about everything in the dorm. It was so redeeming. It was everything I wanted to hear. It was the vulnerability and deepness I have been craving from him all along. Just to hear him admit that from day one, from the first time he saw her at the concert, he wanted to kiss her...

And he opens up about not having anybody to call to tell the great news that Crowstorm is going on a world tour next summer...and how he has been trying to distance himself from Candy because the long distance thing was going to be hard (as they already know since he is Candy's ex although they don't. address. this. enough.) And he was just freaking out all together... Like CAS.... Stop isolating yourself... I love you. Let me be here for you. LET ME LOVE YOU DAMMIT!!!

Seriously though...him admitting all this was just...Ahh. It was so satisfying to me and is the reason why he is my personal favorite. I am a glutton for punishment. He is a total turd but when you finally...FINALLY open him up and experience his soft side it is so so so so satisfying. Like share with me how all of this neglect has caused you to ice out others and lets work on this together.

But on a different note, them bringing up him leaving in the summer... I swear, if we break up....I am going to lose my 💩.

I want to be married to him. I will not accept a break up. I will follow his ass to the ends of the effing Beemoov Planet...Hell, if he goes on tour on Beemoov Mars, best believe my Candy bout to be there in a tacky Beemoov inspired space suit . And Beemoov better not leave it as we break up...no... I want a wedding. I want CHILDREN. I want my happy ending Beemoov. I want my man. You better give us ALL what we DESERVE at the end of this hell!

[ernmark]

Do you have any theories about how Nureyev is going to interact with Juno in the beginning of the next season, and what their dynamic will be like? Peter’s so hard for me to read, I can’t tell what’s going on in his head, but his line at the end didn’t seem to have any malice in it.

Continued: Obviously peter knew juno was part of the crew but like is the job just Worth it (if juno isn’t in his good books)?

I ADORE that I have gotten multiple asks about this in the first couple of days since the episode aired– and that you’re asking me to make coherent guesses based on all of seven words of dialogue.

That just makes me really freakin’ happy.

So let’s break it down a little:

The theory goes that anytime someone experiences a loss, they’re going to go through the five stages of depression. Anger, denial, depression, bargaining, and acceptance, in whatever order, and I think Juno walking out on him was a big enough blow to count as a loss. The thing is, I have no idea where Peter is currently. So let’s look at them all. 

(Thank god for READ MOREs, because this is gonna be long.)

Bargaining

For being A Man Without A Past, Peter Nureyev sure as hell makes a whole lot of callbacks to his and Juno’s shared past right when Juno’s trying to move on with his life.

Let’s look at the last time Peter uttered almost those exact words, in Midnight Fox:

JUNO (NARRATOR): It’s more trouble than it’s worth. History, I mean– relationships with other people. You regret things you knew you had to do; you do things you know you shouldn’t. And why? Another warm body in your bed doesn’t help anything – it doesn’t stop killers or end hunger or make the world any better than it is. Just makes your bed a little warmer. That’s all. That’s all.

[…]

That’s why I don’t bother with all that. This is the new Juno Steel, now; the PI who doesn’t let a pretty face stop him from doing what matters. The PI whowon’t let history weigh him down. Without a past to hold him down, a guy could take on the world. And in the morning… once I get a little sleep… that’s what I’ll do.

JUNO: (MUTTERING TO HIMSELF) Can’t remember the last time I was this tired… Where’s that damn light switch?NUREYEV: Hello, Juno. It’s been a while.JUNO:  Nureyev?!NUREYEV: The very same. Don’t get too comfortable, Detective. We’re leaving immediately.JUNO: If you think I’m going anywhere with you—NUREYEV: I don’t think, Juno. I know. You called me, after all – by way of one Valles Vicky.JUNO: You’re Vicky’s… This can’t be happening.NUREYEV: It is, I’m afraid, and I’ve neither the time nor inclination to prove what’s plainly in front of you. Now, put on your coat and give me your keys. We’ve a long night ahead of us.

The reason I copied the entire scene is that I’m using it as context. 

In Midnight Fox, Juno resolves to distance himself from the past. He tells himself that he’s moving on with his life and trying to take it into a new direction… tomorrow. Seconds later, Peter shows up, posing in Juno’s apartment with the lights off.

Similarly, in Soul of the People, Juno is taking physical action to move on from the past by boarding a ship with a bunch of near-strangers (and Rita), and Peter shows up, dramatically posing on a car.

Notably, in Midnight Fox, Peter is decisively cold towards Juno. There is no flirtation, there is no banter. It’s crisp and clean and straightforward. He interrupts Juno. He gives him instructions that leave no room for argument. 

It is quite possible that this is the kind of attitude that we’re going to see from Peter, at least initially, especially considering the way Juno left. He’s got a job to do, and he intends to see it done.

The thing is, his cold tone doesn’t last long. Over the course of the hours that they spend driving to the Oasis, Peter goes back to flirting, to playing, to showing off. I suspect that he’s too mercurial to hold a grudge for very long against someone he likes. 

But let’s look again at his entrance in Soul of the People:

He repeats, verbatim, the line that he said at their last reunion: Hello, Juno. It’s been a while. He’s deliberately calling back to their last grand adventure in the Oasis Casino, the train robbery, their weeks underground in the Martian Tomb, their fight against Miasma.

He’s sitting on the Ruby 7– the car they stole together, the car they drove back to Hyperion City after it all ended. And he’s sitting on the hood (as Sophie, Kevin and Joshua said non-canonically, “knee up, booty popped”) posing dramatically. Vain as he is, he’s not putting on that show for Rita.

All of these little callbacks communicate very clearly that he wants Juno to remember what they had, and that at least on some level, he wants Juno back.

He could easily be thinking, “I got you into bed once and I can do it again,” and just be constantly throwing himself at his favorite grumpy lady, which would be a delight. 

Depression

On the other, there is a not-insignificant chance that he’ll be far more closed off and less flirty than he was before. The first–and last– time they were intimate, Juno was only halfway reciprocating. He was traumatized and numb and still halfway considering suicide, and honestly? Sex probably was not the best thing for him right then. There’s a strong chance that Peter decided that he was wrong to push it the way he did, and then overcompensate by trying to remain entirely platonic out of guilt, despite his own wishes. 

You could actually get some really good drama with that– with both of them thinking that the other one wouldn’t want to pick up the relationship again, and both of them miserably pining for the other while everyone else in the ship collectively facepalms. (Honestly, I’m kinda hoping a little bit for that one.)

Disorientation

(It’s not an official stage of grief, but bear with me)

Even before Juno left, Peter had trouble keeping up with Juno’s changing moods– largely because they tended to be steered by Juno’s depression than by any external logic (and it wasn’t like Peter could research a formal diagnosis, because Juno’s gone out of his way to avoid anyone who could give him one). 

Juno started to warm up to him– particularly when they were in danger– and then suddenly would go cold and mean when things seemed to be going well. They won a card game, and then Juno accused him of trying to kill him. They beat Engstrom and successfully stole the Egg, and Juno demanded that he give up the Ruby 7. They defeated Miasma, and Juno started talking way too enthusiastically about mass suicide. They slept together, and in the morning he was gone. 

Knowing what we know about the inside of Juno’s head, that makes sense– he’s scared to trust, scared to have loved ones who could leave him, scared to have anything good in his life that he could potentially ruin, and so he’d lash out and isolate himself. 

Without that context, though, it paints a confusing picture– so confusing that it’s really hard to guess exactly how Peter interpreted Juno’s leaving in the first place. 

And that’s going to get even more confusing now that Juno’s trying so hard to be better. 

Peter knew a very specific incarnation of Juno, and the Juno we have now is a very different person. He’s going to have to get reacquainted with this new Juno Steel, who acknowledges his mistakes and apologizes when he hurts people and lets go of the past, who isn’t nearly as grumpy or surly as he used to be and is maybe still figuring himself out after all this time. A lot of the things that Peter used to do to get under his skin will just glance off him now– and maybe the little flirtations that Peter expected to just bounce off might actually be openly reciprocated.

And that’s gonna be weird. 

What I’m saying is that Peter’s going to have to internally recalibrate, and that’s gonna be weird, and I don’t know how much of it we’re going to see on the surface. 

Maybe he’ll see it as a game, but he may just as easily get frustrated and upset at Juno for being so difficult to figure out. 

Denial

Let’s not forget: Peter Nureyev compartmentalizes like a champ. 

He could be 100% in the same mode that he was in when he and Juno were working together against Engstrom for quite some time, and only later admit to Juno (or even himself) that he was hurt by the way Juno left.

Alternatively, he could deny to himself, at least) that he ever actually loved Juno in the first place. He’d still play and flirt with Juno, but only in the way he does with everybody, without the sincerity and vulnerability he expressed before. 

Anger

I’ve mentioned it several times as part of the other stages, but there’s a lot of room for anger.

The fact that Peter is lounging on the Ruby 7 takes on a slightly different meaning when you remember that Juno made Peter promise to turn it into the police, and now he’s flagrantly showing off that he still has it. In the same vein, Peter promised that if Juno didn’t want him, he’d leave Mars and never return– now here he is in all his glory. There is something defiant and vindictive about that kind of display.

If he struggles to keep up with Juno’s latest change of heart, there’s room for him to get frustrated and angry– for a lot of reasons, really. I could never see him getting violent with Juno, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we see Peter responding to a relatively minor slight with a cold and cutting remark, as an expression of the anger from everything that happened before.