#Even though this isn't really a situation I have that much control over I'd still feel shitty if I just completely went along with it

[krafterwrites]

Fuckkkkk my parents just mentioned taking the family to see Sonic 3 when it comes out

[oliversrarebooks]

The Rare Bookseller Part 80: Oliver's Impossible Dilemma

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tw: mind control, mental invasion, forced drugging, hallucination, murder

October 1925

The two returned to the house, and Oliver was more than happy to accept the chores Vivian assigned to him, glad to have anything to do to take his mind off of the situation and his conflicting feelings. But as the sun sank lower in the sky, his anxiety grew. Night would soon fall, and his master might be calling out to him once again, and the thought of that soothing, enticing voice made his heart clench. In the light of day, among ordinary people, it was easier to tell himself that Vivian killing Alexander was the morally correct thing to do and that he had no desire to return. Easy to say, perhaps, when Vivian would be the one carrying out the awful deed and there might not be anything Oliver could do or say to dissuade her.

But the more he thought, the more the gentle face and voice and hands came into his mind. Surely there must be another way. Surely Alexander could be reasoned with, even if Vivian wouldn't consider it. If he took Oliver back, then Alexander wouldn't be a danger to any other humans. It would cost him his freedom, but spare him the guilt. He had to try.

After dinner, Vivian approached Oliver with a small vial of a clear liquid. "Sleeping draught," she said. "So you can rest without vampires having their way with your mind."

Oliver took it and stared at it. He understood why it was probably a good idea for him to be knocked out, and yet, the thought of being incapacitated again filled him with fear. "Are you going to… hunt him? Alexander. Are you going to do that tonight?"

"I'm not sure I have much of a choice," she said. "If I don't hunt him, he'll be hunting me. I'm not going to be leaving right away, though, because I have some preparations to do." Vivian cocked an eyebrow. "Are you worried about me or about him?"

"To be perfectly honest, both." He swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing that he had to do something. "Do you really, truly need to kill him? I'm sure he can be reasoned with."

Vivian sighed. "You can't reason with a vampire with a hypnotic voice, Oliver. Every moment I listen to him is a moment he'll be trying to put me under his spell, and I will not let that happen."

"But there has to be some other way!"

"There isn't. It's not like I can simply leave him be, either. Since I took you from him, he'll be hunting me no matter what. It's him or me, and I'm sorry, but you know which one I'm going to pick."

"Then what if you returned me to him?" said Oliver desperately. "He wouldn't take any other humans if he had me back. He'd be harmless."

"Absolutely out of the question. I'm not turning over a human to placate a vampire." She crossed her arms sternly. "Besides, what would become of you when Alexander's sire comes around again?"

"Alexander needs a hunter to help kill his sire. He told me that himself. I know last night you said you couldn't trust him, but if you returned me first, he might be willing to work with you…"

"I still couldn't trust him," said Vivian. "You have to understand that there's nothing I could give him or do for him that would make me safe. I'm a hunter. Even if I agreed to spare Alexander, I'm not going to stop killing other vampires. He would never just let me go free -- not to mention what a high price I'd likely fetch on the auction block, with my witch's blood."

"Maybe I could convince him to leave you alone."

"Maybe he could hypnotize you out of your opinions in five seconds flat."

It was true. As much as he didn't want it to be, it was true. Alexander had proven himself than happy to erase any disagreement from Oliver's head. And of course he couldn't let Vivian go free, not when she was also after Lily. Turning her over to Lily to be mesmerized would be the easiest way to deal with her -- he thought of Lily's parlor, of the poor man on his hands and knees being dragged off to receive obedience training. Alexander thought nothing of it. He would think nothing of sending Vivian to the same fate, either.

It was a truly impossible choice. Either Alexander would die, or Vivian would be ensorcelled forever, a slave to the vampires she'd fought. He couldn't accept it.

"Look, I understand," she said, drawing nearer and holding up the vial. "Your master's grip on you was incredibly tight. You're not in your right mind yet. You'll feel much better once my work is finished. I think you should drink the sleeping draught and have a good night's --"

"No," he said stubbornly. "I won't." He wasn't sure what was causing him to fight more vigorously for Alexander's life than for his own freedom. Whether it was his true feelings or residuals from Alexander's powers, he knew that he couldn't live with himself if he just allowed him to die. "At least let me come with you and talk to him."

"Unfortunately, I don't have time for this. I have to prepare." In a flash, Vivian had him pinned against the wall. She was much stronger than Oliver, and as he flailed and tried to get free, she splashed some of the potion on his face, making him woozy from the fumes. Weakened, he couldn't stop her from forcing his mouth open and pouring the noxious potion inside. His tongue turned numb as he tried to keep from swallowing it, and it trickled down his throat as he struggled.

"I'm sorry I have to do this, I really am, but it's for your own good," she said, as Oliver's limbs went limp and his eyelids fluttered. His vision tunneled, everything going dark as she picked him up and carried him into the small room at the top of the stairs, laying him on the cot.

"Please," Oliver pleaded. "Please don't."

"It's for the best. I hope you understand that someday," said Vivian. She left Oliver there and locked the door behind her.

He was trapped once again, just as he was trapped in the auction house, just as he was trapped in Alexander's manor. The remnants of the sleeping draught in his mouth were sickly-sweet with an aftertaste like gasoline. He fought his heavy eyelids, trying to stay awake just a little bit longer. Maybe there was something he could do. Maybe he could warn Alexander somehow. But he probably didn't need it -- he must already expect that Vivian would be coming for him. He might be looking for Oliver right now.

If only all of this had been a dream. If only he could wake up from this enchanted sleep to find himself back in his bookshop, with a wholly fictional volume about vampires resting on his lap. If only Alexander were just an ordinary man with pale skin and a taste for rare books. If only his captivity and sale were something he'd dreamed up after reading a few too many outlandish tales of strange rituals.

Just as his last bit of consciousness faded away, he thought he heard Alexander's voice. It was still sad, but there was something else, now. Fear. Panic. And a warning, an urgent one. He briefly struggled against the potion pulling him under to try to understand what Alexander was trying to convey, but it was impossible to resist the magic flowing through his veins. Alexander's warning slipped away from him, turning into a sense of deep unease as he began to drowse.

It didn't take long for his distress to turn into vivid nightmares. He could see Alexander on his knees at Vivian's feet, begging for his life, turning to Oliver for help. Oliver could do nothing as the vampire's body turned to dust around the silvered stake, his voice fading into the night to never be heard again. He saw the library in flames, countless priceless books burning, and Oliver was trapped under the ceiling as it fell, destined to perish here as a cosmic punishment for having betrayed Alexander.

He woke up hyperventilating, not in the library, but in the cot at Vivian's safe house. It was utterly quiet and so dark, even though the moon out of the window was unnaturally enormous. The stillness was only broken by the distant, rhythmic ticking of a clock, muffled and far away, but somehow getting closer by the minute. Some part of him understood that something terrible had happened here, that it was his fault, and that he needed to go see for himself what had happened.

The door to his room swung open slowly, revealing only more pitch blackness. As if under a compulsion, Oliver stood and felt his way to the door, tripping over something cold and heavy.

Gas lamps all around him blazed to life, and Oliver saw that the thing he had tripped over was Emily's bloodied corpse.

He screamed, and practically launched himself down the stairs in a blind panic, shouting for Vivian and receiving no response. He felt as though the walls were warping and bending, as though the safe house was a million miles long one minute and suffocatingly small the next. And the dreadful ticking of the clock echoed throughout.

The gas lamps flickered and sputtered and went out all at once, plunging Oliver into true darkness, and he was paralyzed by fear. Then, just as abruptly as they had extinguished, they all roared to life with unnaturally large flames, illuminating the figure standing before Oliver. Vivian, with the same cold, hard look in her eyes that she had when confronting Alexander. She was advancing on Oliver with silver knife raised.

"What are you doing?" he yelled as he backed into the wall.

"I have to do this," she said in a dull voice. "It's for your own good. You'll be free."

"No! No, don't!" He raised his hands to catch her arm, but she easily shoved him away and pushed him to the floor. Just as the knife plunged into his gut…

He awoke once again in the cot.

It was a nightmare, only a nightmare. But it felt so terrifyingly real, and his thoughts were so muddled and hazy from the sleeping draught. Adrenaline surged through him even as the enchantment fought to pull him back down into sleep, the world around him a confused and bleary haze.

And worst of all, he could still hear the dreadful tick, tick, tick of the clock -- no, it was more like a metronome, echoing through him. Was it real, or was he still in a nightmare? It was impossible to tell.

She will kill you.

"No!" he said out loud. That voice… it wasn't Alexander's. No, it was a voice he would recognize anywhere, its musical tone at odds with its cruelty. It was Alexander's sire. He was in Oliver's mind.

She will kill you. You must kill her first.

"No, I won't!" He curled up onto the cot, shaking. Alexander's sire knew that he'd been captured, perhaps even knew where he was. He wasn't safe. None of them were safe, as long as Oliver was here. He had to go. He stood up on shaky, weak legs, still very much under the influence of the sedative, barely able to stand upright and drag himself to the door. Clumsy hands tried to work the doorknob, failing to turn it several times, and when he finally was able to get a solid grasp on it, the door didn't open. He dimly remembered that it had been locked.

She will kill you.

The lock clicked. "Oliver, are you all right? I heard shouting," said Vivian on the other side of the door.

"No, go away! Don't come near me!"

The door opened anyway, and Vivian was advancing on him, just like in the nightmare. "Oliver, what's going on? How are you even awake? Is that vampire in your mind again?" She didn't have a knife in her hand, but it was attached to her belt in a scabbard, ready to use. She was coming closer, just like before.

"Get away!" said Oliver, pushing her and running out the door on uncoordinated legs. "I have to -- I have to go now!"

"Oliver, stop! You don't know what you're doing!"

She grabbed his wrist, and he yelped and twisted it away. Nightmare and reality were mixed and blurred in his mind, and all he knew was that he had to escape. He wrenched his wrist away from her, took a few fumbling steps, and then his foot hit air instead of the floor.

"Oliver!" Vivian screamed. It sounded like it was coming from far away. He was falling, looking up at the ceiling one moment and at the stairs the next. His head hit something hard and sharp and his vision went black for a second as he heard a sickening noise.

When he opened his eyes, he was laying face down on the floor. The wood floor was cold against his cheek. He couldn't move. There was something wrong with his leg, something terribly wrong. It felt as though it were bent in a way it shouldn't be. Someone was yelling his name. The clock was ticking. He just wanted to close his eyes and go back to sleep.

It must just be a nightmare.

Previous > Masterlist > Next

Oliver is not fine.

Next week, Lex and Fitz and the Maestro's punishments.

Thanks for reading!

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[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Amanda is morally grey (the one thing I dislike about this fandom).

Amanda from Amanda the Adventurer is SUCH a morally grey character. That is what I love about her. She isn't a horrible person, but her hands aren't clean either. I've seen this discussion in a couple of places and I'd like to join in. The think I dislike about this fandom is it's tendency to either baby or villainize the characters. But I'm going to talk specifically about how people baby-fy Amanda.

Amanda is supposed to be a sympathetic young child trapped in a horrible situation. We are supposed to feel bad for her. However, I feel like some people take this to a babying extent where they see Amanda as a little baby who can do no wrong.

Amanda has done things that are morally questionable or wrong. Such as:

Hurting and killing Wooly. Now we all know Wooly isn't completely innocent. And given what we do know, we can at least understand why Amanda would do this. But unless we get solid evidence that Wooly did something horrible to deserve this (like direct undeniable proof that he was fully in on Hameln's plan and agreed with their motives and morals or something like that) It doesn't fully justify her behavior. This is one of the more tame and excusable things she's done though because we don't know enough about Wooly to say that she ISN'T justified.

Hurting/Killing Riley. This however is absolutely not justified. In the first game I think it was easier to dismiss it as she did not seem to have much control over herself or the demon. And for the first game this may have been true. However, in the second game she does this twice while she seems to have a VERY clear idea of what she's doing. The first is when she asks us to bring her a toy. We learn in "When you feel bad" that she is AWARE of the demon's presence. So this felt entirely like a threat to me. I think we can excuse this a little because Amanda is a kid with way too much power. I don't want to baby her, but she might not really fully understand the consequences or implications of what she is doing here. She is just a frustrated child acting out and releasing her anger. Thus, she might not be fully thinking through her actions. She does this again in the When You Feel Bad Tape. If you make her happy she tells the demon to leave us alone. But if you don't she DOESN'T. She is fully aware the demon is going to hurt us... and does nothing. Even though she could stop this, she doesn't. Refusing to act is still an action. It is still a choice. Once again, it's a choice she makes when she's really upset with us. A choice she probably isn't thinking through. It is understandable and probably realistic for a child to get wrapped up in their emotions and not think things through. But it still makes Amanda objectively not the best friend one could have.

Finally, to some extent I think Amanda is aware of the danger our involvement with her puts us in. The danger the show presents, the danger Hameln presents, the danger the demons present, and possibly more. Yet she still doesn't try to warn us about this or stop us. This is still very understandable because we are probably the only person left who can help her be free, and she is desperate.

Once again, do not misunderstand me. Amanda is not a horrible villainous person. She is a child who has very little regulation of her emotions or self-control over her actions. A lot of her actions come of as impulsive and in the moment. Not carefully plotted or thought-about. I guess I am trying to say that while she is not a horrible person, she is not someone who is incapable of doing harm or being wrong or doing things that aren't morally correct. She's human. She's flawed. She's morally grey. That is what I love about her.

It's not just Amanda either. Almost all the main characters have done something that threatens our safety or something that is morally questionable. (except Sam, but it's still possible that he might have done something morally questionable in an attempt to save Rebecca in the past that will be revealed later).

Kate involved us in this, knowing to some extent that it was dangerous. She regrets this but it doesn't change what she did. She's also involved others as well, (such as her friends), though she was probably less aware of the extent of the danger she was placing them in back then.

Joanne was willing to put us and Kate in harms way and break the law in order to save her brother. Once again, she regrets this to an extent but it doesn't change the fact that she did it.

And Wooly... I'm not sure whose side he's on but it's probably not ours and his hands are definitely not clean either but this is Amanda's post and I'm not discussing him here.

In short, I kind of dislike how the fandom tends to downplay the character's actions and moral greyness. Even though they are not bad people they are still flawed and made mistakes. Actually I consider most of the bad things these characters did to somewhat be mistakes. Mistakes driven strongly by emotion and personal connection to the situation. Kate wanted to save Rebecca. Joanne wanted to save Jordan. Amanda wants to save herself. All of these motivations are justified. But when put in a situation with high emotion, mistakes and bad choices can be made. None of these characters are incapable of doing harm. None of them are safe from the consequences of their choices and errors. None of them are perfect and all are flawed.

But that's why I love Amanda the Adventurer. This isn't a story of good vs evil. It's regular people who are flawed but well-meaning vs big cooperation that has ill intent.

IDK if what I'm saying makes any sense. I just wanted to join in the conversation and share my take on it. Hope you enjoyed reading this post.

[sofie-gold]

Hi internet- I'm a trans woman in Florida and I need help. I'm posting this across all my socials because I can't suffer in silence anymore.

I'm not a prisoner or a child, but i was still forcibly detransitioned by the State of Florida between 2022 and 2024. Planned Parenthood forced me off hormones in an act of anticipatory obediance to the trans healthcare ban that was eventually signed into law. I had been on HRT for ~5 years. I had fully socially transition and was passing- living my best life as a woman.

There was no place to go after Planned Parenthood dropped me. I spent over 2.5 years being forcibly detransitioned and I had no way to help myself. I lost my job. I lost my looks. I lost my VOICE. I'm looking for the words to describe the psychological and physical torture of having your body, identity and soul chemically excised from you but I don't think anyone but the trans community will ever really understand.

I'll try though: Imagine having to walk through liquid curtains of hydrochloric acid every day. And every day the acid gets more and more concentrated- but not only does the acid burn your skin and melt your face, it also seeps into your chakras and severs the links between your mind, body, and soul. Eventually leaving you an empty, disfigured husk- A revolting parody of the person you used to be.

In February 2024 I finally got in contact with a local lgbt charity hoping to get back on HRT but they weren't helpful. Mostly they just wanted to shame me for being unemployed. I want to say this plainly: Liberal institutions will not protect you from the law when they ban HRT. They wouldn't even give me the name of a clinic until a judge issued a stay of the healthcare ban. The ban was lifted for about 6 weeks and I was lucky enough to make the window, get a PCP, and get back on HRT.

To their credit, they did eventually get me in therapy and very quickly hit me with a suprise (well, not much of a surprise) autism diagnosis. I won't be naming them right now because I'm still a client, and that therapist is my only connection to the outside world right now.

There's so much more to this that I don't know how to narrativize yet. I was so poor in 2023 that I survived on less than 35¢ of food a day. I ate almost exclusively rolled oats and bagged sugar, averaging about 350 calories a day. I think I was well on my way to starving to death. By December I'd lost basically all my body fat, much of my of muscle mass and my bones were sticking out weird.

So, even though my situation is more stable, I'm still in a very precarious position. HRT is TIGHTLY controlled here. The max estrogen level you're allowed in Florida is a quarter of what I was on in Colorado, and that's just not enough to survive on.

I've managed to cheat my labs a little, so for now I've got my full dose. But once my current RX is up I'll be at risk of getting my HRT yanked because my estrogen levels are "too high". And I can't survive on a quarter dose. And I can't survive a 2nd round of detransition

Forced detransition has broken me at a fundamental level, and I don't know if I'll ever get the person I was before back. I just know I can't move forward until I get this story out.

If there's anyone out there who actually cares, please fucking help me. I live in Broward County and my partner and I have tentative plans to move to either Portland OR or Denver CO. I'm too damaged to work, and my partner's income is just enough to keep us treading water. We have basically no means to save for a move, so if you can help, or have any contacts in those areas of the country- please, I'm begging you, (yes, YOU, in particular) Get in touch. I'm sofiegold on bsky and sofie_gold on Discord or email me c4hsofie[at]gmail.com

I'm a software engineer (LAMP stack, c, c++) and Linux sysadmin for 10+ years so if there's anyone out there that can gently ease me back into gainful employment that would be amazing too.

For my old moots, gart.gg isn't dead. I just had to pause development while I tested the limits of human suffering. Also, I love you and miss you.

Finishing this with a message to my transgender peers: Let me be your cautionary tale. Do not let them take your HRT away. Do not let them abandon you and write you off as a casualty. Save yourself and stay on hormones by any means necessary.

This is our last chance, and we don't have a lot of time left. Organize your community right now. If you don't have a community find them. Right now. Go.

And i've got a gfm but i need PEOPLE more than i need money rn. but i also need money.

https://gofund.me/59ab04f0

[spiegelgestalt]

Some stray observations and speculations before the new episodes come out

Vi has yet to win a major victory in the undercity. Also since the time skip someone contemplated/tried to kill her in every battle. She truly doesnt fit into Zaun anymore

Sevika on the other has gotten two victories in the last three episodes. Working together with jinx truly benefits her (and in retrospect: vi lost the bar battle even though she beat sevika because jinx intervened)

Caitlyn has currently a really important story arc and I hope they stick the ending. Caitlyn runs into another savior dilemma: you go into a situation full of good intentions and well meant plans and the fuckers screw you over, hurt you and hurt the people around you. This is an experience a lot of well meaning helpers have. And I still think that while her reaction is understandable it's not correct. I come back to Cassandra's sentence: the people in the undercity deserve to breathe. Because it's such bullshit. It's your industries that caused that, you produced that smog - you should clean it up - it's common sense - but Cassandra frames it as a favor and now that the people on the undercity aren't sufficiently grateful that favor is revoked

Ambessa strokes the cheek of a child who got hurt by the smog. That child looks like a young Viktor. And once again I'm struck by the fact that it piltover expected Zaun to just accept this and how much piltover freaks out over attacks that did just a fraction of the damage piltover did to zaun

Caitlyn got a letter from Ambessa during a grieving process. I really hope that they don't just blame the whole thing on Ambessa/foreign influence and call it a day (currently they are doing pretty well)

If you take the songs into consideration and interpret them as expressions of the two cities you notice that piltover is still not understanding. They think they can get this problem back under control with violence while Zaun is saying: yeah come and kill me I don't even care anymore. But I will hurt you as much as I can in the process

Arcane is in part about generational violence and it's very telling that it's especially the young characters who are all for the violence happening (cute enforcer girl and cute street urchin)

I have to say it somewhere: Caitlyn isn't ready for jinx, piltover isn't ready for jinx I'm not even sure if Ambessa is ready for jinx.

I kinda want to write a meta about Ekko/Viktor as the two people who try to help the undercity within the system and how they are both screwed over. Viktors findings are taken for piltover and used against Zaun and ekko is a) in danger to suffer the same fate (I have thoughts about heimerdinger you all) b) in danger to lose all he has built because of something piltover did

I think I'm one of the few people who didn't think that indepence for Zaun was the solution to everything. I think it was to little to late. also jinx is all about making piltover eat the consequences of their actions. Shes quite literally zauns curse. But I also think that ist sevika who truly wants war. (note the raining metaphor some people noticed. Everytime a person from piltover got rained on it was because of something jinx/powder did)

Heimerdinger is gearing up to repeat his own cycle by plucking another street urchin from the undercity. After Viktor he got Jayce and now he wants Ekko. I can't help but notice that neither Jayce nor Victor benefited from his teachings

One day I will write about arcane relationship to Disney and the little mermaid and the og little mermaid but in short: Viktor is the little mermaid who loses his voice, doesn't get the prince and dies in the end, silco is very heavily Ursula coded (just look at his introduction!! )

If anyone wants me to go deeper into any of this observations feel free to ask me. I'd be happy to.

[new-tella-us]

Seduce Me Situations(?)

Cause I'm bored!

You probably notice the question mark. That's because this technically isn't a Seduce Me Situation but more of just personality expansion in the formatting of a Seduce Me Situation and there is a situation at the end so I'm gunna keep the title.

The "situation" of the morning is: "What are the boys + Mika's toxic trait?" And I'm not talk about some small flaw like clumsiness, or nail biting. Nor am I talking about mental health issues like depression or anxiety (although personality traits that might be enhanced by mental health issues are still on the table). No. I'm talking about traits that would make the character unlikeable if it was too much of their personality.

Everyone has toxic traits, it's the amount of personality it takes up and how aware of it you are that determines if you are still a likeable person with that trait. (Also this post ended up longer than I thought it would be)

James- His condescension. If you asked James himself why he's so hard on his brothers, he would say that he simply thinks they can do better. And he's....80% correct but, that 20% and what you would see from the outside is a man with a superiority complex. To an extent, he thinks he's better than his brothers and people in general and that tends to show every once in a while. His brothers have learnt from early that if you ask James for any form of help for a mistake you made, a comment or a lecture is basically guaranteed. It's something he learnt from Istorae and it's very hard to unlearn.

Erik- His objectification. Erik is a notorious flirt and a lover of beautiful things. He had to be, it's all his mother ever taught him. He would flirt with any person that seemed susceptible to his charms and use them to get what he wanted, usually energy. But on Earth? That doesn't always work. Cultures clash with some of his more... raunchy comments and it can lead to him sounding like he only cares about their body. Women of today are more likely to catch onto that and get angry or scared, Mika being perfect proof of that.

Sam- His wrath. Stemming from the years of disillusionment he's had towards everything, he's gained a cold and angry disposition towards the world. He hasn't fully learnt to control his rage, blaming it on being more brute than the others. And why wouldn't he do that? Everyone else blames his brute side or just sees him as a brute. In actuality, plenty of full brutes know how to control their rage, Sergeant for example. He can get angry and speaks loud but he doesn't lose control of himself. It's really the fact that only Dracae has even tried to reel Sam's temper in that caused him to grow up so angry.

Matthew- His envy. (Now, according to Michaela, Damien would be more envy than Matthew so this is my Matthew we're talking about. Which is canon Matthew adjacent but not exact. Okay? Okay.) I think Damien is more jealousy but true ENVY is wanting what someone else has. Being angry that you don't have what you think you deserve whether or not you've earned it. And doesn't that just sound like Matthew? Or at least what Aezera was trying to turn Matthew into. Matthew held onto some of those teachings and became somewhat bitter that the others, mainly James, were seen as more fit for the throne. He always wanted to usurp James in something. And on the rare occasions he does, he might be a bit of a gloat about it.

Damien- His possessiveness. He might have a sympathetic reason for being so possessive but it's still a toxic trait. Growing up, he had no control of anything. Not himself, not anyone else, not even his mind reading. That might have been why, when he finally does get control, he at least feels the temptation to completely over step. His intentions are mostly pure, like James, I'd say maybe 90% but 10% might be just the love of control. Neither reasons matter, the result is the same, he crosses boundaries and isn't quick to trust or like anyone close to the people he loves. Though, to his defense, he is probably the most aware of his toxic trait and tries his hardest to quell his urges.

Mika- Her stubbornness. This sounds like a boring answer in comparison to the rest but it really isn't. There is, of course, a good to being stubborn. She's not a sheep that could be led into any direction with sweet enough words. However, when I say this girl is stubborn, I mean it. For if she had to change her mind or opinion, she would have to think about why. Introspection is this girl's worst nightmare as she has a natural tendency to spiral and a lot of inner darkness she hides under lock and key. If she was to think about why she believes something or if she should, she might unlock that darkness and be forced to think about more unpleasant things and she isn't willing to do that. Plus, she's prideful and has a love of being right (kinda like James tbh) so admitting that she's wrong might hurt her ego more than she's willing to take. This is a trait she got directly from her father.

Do these toxic traits ever clash? Of course they do! For simplicity sake, I'll talk about when each boy's trait clash with Mika's stubbornness and how they would eventually fix it while in a relationship.

James and Mika bickered occasionally even while dating. Their similar need to be right made both unwilling to yield. And sometimes, neither party is wrong. There was one argument where James's point was Mika being too reckless but Mika wasn't listening. Mika's point was that she didn't know how seriously to take James as he has a tendency to be bossy but James didn't agree. Both are correct but neither approached the situation right and eventually James backed off so things don't get heated. How they would eventually fix these fights was by having a genuine talk about what they did and didn't like about each other. Course neither of them liked to hear their own flaws but hearing it in a calm voice from a lover that clearly wasn't trying to hurt them made it easier to hear.

Erik overstepped Mika's boundaries in his route. In his culture, comments about someone's body were seen as compliments, but in hers it's sleazy and uncomfortable. To get his true ending, Mika has to tell him that but you do have the option to just make Mika leave. And sometimes Mika just does that. How they would fix that was by Mika admitting how Erik's comments make her feel. It would require her to put down her stubbornness and be vulnerable. And she's not good with that. She doesn't like "letting" a man's words affect her so much but, they do. And when Erik hears her honest opinions, the flirtation turns to a more honest personality.

Like James, Sam tends to butt heads with Mika's stubbornness as when she decides you're wrong, she won't listen. However, unlike James, there is no "walking away to cool down". Things have gotten heated before. Not often mind you and never violent but there has been at least one screaming match and it ended in Mika calling Sam a "brutish asshole", telling him to fuck off, and walking away. Then Sam punched the wall, leaving a dent. Needless to say, the solution was therapy for them both because they both realized how in the wrong they became. You don't use your partner's insecurities as an insult and you don't break your partner's wall! That dent is still there as a constant reminder to never let themselves go that far again.

Matthew has objectified Mika before.... but not in the way you think. Remember, Matthew's major issue is envy and he wants to usurp his brothers in anything so if he's dating Mika, he's the first of his brothers to have a girlfriend. (or I guess for them, he's the first to "start a courtship". I don't think they "date" in the demon world) And he would brag about it. It's one of the few goals that he got to first, even ahead of James. But when you do that enough, especially in front of Mika, it might come off less like you love her and more like you gained a "First Place Prize". It didn't make Mika feel good and put a dent in their relationship once Matthew finally figured it out. If Mika said something, this might have been fixed earlier. To fix this, Matthew stopped all the bragging and focused more on Mika's needs though it would take a while to break past her stubborn shell again.

Damien has tried to limit Mika's freedoms. Think of some of the things a possessive boyfriend might say or do. Encouraging getting one of those location trackers for your phone, being distrusting of all Mika's friends, asking her where she's going and for how long and "Is it really safe to stay out that late?", "Do you have to be gone for that long?", "We had something planned remember?"(No they didn't), "With those friends? Are you sure?", "Do you want me to come with you?" etc... Innocent questions individually, a little possessive when combined. Did this plan work? No. Mika knew what was going on. But it made her slowly take his words less seriously until he would mention legit concerns and she dismissed him. That got her in some trouble. Solution? Once again THERAPY. Especially for Damien. Not even for his possessiveness specifically, just his issues.

Now keep in mind, these events took up a small part of their relationship and were fixed fairly quickly. The Post Demon War couples are far more mature and unified than the Post Otome couples.

[esosage]

God i need more movie robotnik angst! Like my man is prime angst material and theres just not enough for him!

Need him to be sobbing, and crying, and haveing a mental breakdown.

Especially when it involves stone, since it forces him to let his walls down, and bear his soul to the other man wether he likes it or not. Which could really offer some interesting developments in their relationship.

I can see movie eggman being very antsy after he has a mental break down infront of stone, since he's primarily waiting for the other to either take advantage of him or leave him. Since thats probobly what he's experienced in relationships up till now (with the whole trust issues thing.)

Infact, i'd say he gets so antsy that he becomes a self fulfilling profocy. Being so pent up, and not beliveing stone has anything but maliciouse intent twards him now, he lashes out at the other. Saying some real horrible shit in an attempt to push him away before stone can hurt him.

He ends up secretly regretting it after the fact. He tries to convince himself that its better this way, or that he doesn't care, or that he likes hurting the other, in attempt to cover up that guilt, but he knows deep down that its just not true. Even so, that doesnt stop him from returning back to old habbits to cope with being in a very unframiliar situation: aka him being a dick. Maybe not directly to stone this time, but by avoiding him. He isn't really angry at stone, more so angry at himself, but he doesnt have the emotional intelligence to recognize that. So he tries to put up walls. In his mind hes gotten far to attached to stone and needs to cut the other man out before he has a one up over him, or uses robotniks emotions against him. But robotnik just cant do it. He cant force himself to get rid of stone, he cant force himself to just fire the man, because stone is the only person who takes care of robotnik.

Now, robotnik doesnt think that stone genuinlly cares for him, he doesnt think anyone is capable of that, but stone does give him attention. Attention, that he despretly seeks and searches for. Infact, stone has probobly cared for robotnik, more than anyone else before. Which isnt a high bar, since robotnik isn't exactly a likeable person, but its still a very big thing for a robotnnik. Because in his whole life, stone is one of the very few people who has cared about him somewhat, and managed to stick around him for this long without gwtting tired of his bulshit. And as someone who has been longing and desperate for attention their entire life, who craves it, robotnik just cant give stone up. Regardless of if stone huets him or not, because he doesn't think he'll find anyone else who will care for him as much as stone does.

Of course, he never acknowledges this, because to him, saying that he needs the agent on such a deep level is admitting to being weak. Since he's supposed to be untouchable (and perfect.) And he much less has enough emotional intelligence to understand this, so he puts up walls instead, in the hopes that stone will do it for him. That stone, just like everyone else, will get sick of his bullshit and leave. (He doesnt really want this in reality. But because he's in such an unframilar situation, hes resorting back to old habbits and lashing out to feel more incontrol. Because theres nothing robotnik hates more, than not being in control, because in his mind, if hes not incontrol then he's going to get hurt.)

Thankfully for robotnik though, stone is crazy and refuses to leave. He might have before robotnik had the mental breakdown, since he didnt belive the doctor genuinlly cared about him before then, but after the mental breakdown, he knows that the doctor cares about him more than he's letting on. So he refuses to leave, because he knows somethings up with the doctor, and he's not going until its fixed. Careing more about robotniks wellbeing than his own, (regardless of how unhealthy it is.)

This confuses to robotnik till no end, and sets his mind down another spiral. Because normally, your mean to people and they leave, but stone isn't doing that...... why? Thats the part that catches robotnik up the most: the why. In robotniks mind, he's an asshole, he knows he is, he plays into it sometimes, and thusly he thinks nobody can care about him. That because he's a horrible person, and because, in his mind, he'll never be anything but one, its simply impossible for anyone to care, much less love him. So he doesnt think stone is capable of loveing him. Which begs the question of why stone is staying.

If stone doesn't love him, and has every reason to leave him right now outside of the pay, why stay? Does he want revenge? Does he have a card up his sleeve? Is he trying to take robotnik down? Is that why he's been more nosey lately?

All of those are questions floating in robotniks head. His trust issues takeing his anxiety twards the issue and going wild. Which naturally sends robotnik down a paranoid spyral.

All of this, culminates in another argument. Stone demanding to know whats wrong, and robotnik eventually slipping up in the moment, and admiting that he thinks stone hates him, and is trying to sabatouge him.

The agent vehemently goes against this motion, claiming he would never tries that, and that he doesn't hate robotnik. Of course, due to his trust issues, robotnik doesnt buy it. Combating this with the "facts" he has gathered thus far. Asking why stone would stay with him otherwise if it wasn't to gain something.

Another thing the agent opposes, stuttering over his words to avoid saying the obviouse, but just enough to hopefully convince robotnik when he says he cares. Though robotnik keeps pushing back, still not buyinh it.

And exaughsted, stone just screams out rhe truth in the hopes that it will get through the others thick skull. Admiting that he loves robotnik, and thats why he stays, because he cares about him dammit!

This leaves robotnik floored, he doesn't belive it at first, can't fathom the thought of someone actually being in love with someone like him outside of what he can give them (relationships arw transactional in his mind,) but hes putting up a lot less ressistancdñe than before. And while he doesnt want ot admit it, logically speaking, it would explain t a lot of things.

Eventually robotnik does something slightly emotionally intelligent for once in his damn life, and asks for a moment, (he doesnt say its to prosess his emotions, but its deffinetly implied,) and he asks stone to leave.

This obviously leaves the other anxiouse, wondering if he did something wrong in admiting his feelings, but he complies. Thr two on their own to process everything..

They end up haveing a conversation about it later once they've calmed down, (something stone had to initiate,) and it ends up being productive! The two of them planning a path forward for the both of them (with no romance by robotniks request) and they begin to work on things.. very slowly yes, and with a lot of cognitive disonence on robotniks part (he still cant admit that he cares, much less loces stone yet, even if he does,) but its progress and stone is satisfied with it.

Anyhow, sorry i went on a ramble, my thoughts decided to just go this way lol. Regardless, my point still stands, robotnik is a very deep and interesting character, and deserves to ve explored more. And also deserves a hell of a lot more angst.

Thank you for listening to my bullshit.

[crypt-void]

So I have this bit, right? It's been a while since I've done it, but if I bring it up with my friends, they can still easily understand or remember the joke.

It's called the Dan Rules. It's often comedically egotistical and vain and was made because out of our little group, it was a joke that I am (as an act) an eccetric (maybe enigmatic if I'm feeling fancy) person who does whatever the hell I want.

If people thought to question my behavior, it was often quickly followed with a "that's just Dan" from my friends and easily dismissed. Sure, some of my boldness was probably left over from my middle school years, where I felt I had to lean into my weirdness completely so people would see me more as a joke than a freak.

But then I found myself in a safe, accepting environment, one where the need to bite and snarl and run away never came. I waited a while for it to arrive for me to feel the need to play the part of the fool for my newfound companions entertainment. It shocked me when I was left with genuine love and compassion. I leaned out of self-deprecating humor and completely into the (very obviously joking and fake) role of an egotistical short and angry ruler. For fucks sake we still have the name of the group chat as "Dantopia". I still did the bit to entertain my friends, to keep them laughing at my antics. But this time, it was accompanied by my own laughter. I enjoyed a new sense of freedom it brought.

The Dan Rules came out of when we were messing around, and I'd lean into this foolish king role, and I would proclaim something insane or childish. A popular one was, "Dan is never wrong." Often followed by a warranted scoff.

But the second rule is a good one, I think, one that really shone through as a reminder that I am not now who I was before.

"I do what I want."

I hadn't had much freedom before I met my current group of friends. I was quiet and kept quiet at times. I felt muzzled and chained, and as if I was a dog because someone forced a collar around my throat and pulled me on a leash.

It wasn't only that I didn't have the choice of self-expression, though. I'd also seen what happened to people who gave too much into reckless. I grew up with the weight of their actions carried on my shoulders, and while I have always been bold in my identity and beliefs, I was quiet and still when presented the opportunities to escape from situations where people kicked me down for who I was. I feared what would happen if I left my old group. Ironically, this fear led me to be isolated.

I found myself almost completely alone in the pandemic, and my only saving grace was a new school with new people. New people who didn't tell me to shut up or that I was ugly or that I needed to stop acting like an animal or they'd treat me like one. Instead, I met friends who handled me gently and taught me it was okay to hug just as it's okay to bark, and they welcomed me. I felt at home. I felt as if I knew myself completely.

So, with the second rule, which I still follow to this day, I added a private note.

"I do what I want. Because I can trust myself to."

Know thyself

I can trust myself to bark or scowl or growl just as much as I can to love and kiss and hug. I can stay aware of what is and isn't good and how much or how little I can trust someone. I can be bold and loving all at once and welcome others with open arms and flashing fangs.

I am in complete control over myself, and even when I am doing something so I can see my friends laugh, I am also doing it because I can, and I do what I want.

[to-thelakes]

I'm watching Moon Knight (again) to help me go to sleep and I've rewatched episode 1 so so many times on nights like tonight but I still absolutely adore all the little details.

Like, okay so when Steven wakes up in the Alps (I think that's where it is), Khonshu says "go to sleep, worm" and okay, first watch and without knowing the context of Jake existing, that makes sense. Khonshu doesn't like Steven which we learn more and more as the series goes on but then he says a few lines later "the idiot's in control" in that same scene in the Alps.

There is such a clear shift in attitude between 'go to sleep, worm' and 'The idiot's in control' and it's so obvious on a rewatch that Khonshu is talking to two different people with each line.

He's referring to Jake as 'worm' and he thinks that telling him to simply 'go back to sleep' would work because Jake is aware of the alters and their situation. Although from the brief glimpses we get of Jake, we know that he is an... interesting guy yet we can gather that he at least has some sort of alliance/respect/something going on with Khonshu. However, when he realises it's Steven, it's not hostility in the same way. It's more exasperated frustration. He's mad at Marc for letting Steven suddenly appear rather than being annoyed at Jake for making a random appearance. The way that the dialogue is written just exposes so much on a rewatch.

But going back to Jake/Khonshu even if they do have some respect, it's also pretty obvious that Khonshu does not want Jake around. I'd speculate that that's probably because if Marc loses time when he knows that he's not in London as Steven, that would create suspicion. Suspicion that Khonshu wouldn't want because that would put their avatar/God relationship at risk.

Though, I also suspect that Khonshu and Jake probably were working together but Marc never became aware because Jake worked at nights (maybe why Steven is so goddamn tired) or simply took over while Marc thought that Steven was in control.

I know that the Moon Knight portrayal is not the most accurate DiD portrayal but from my research, there's this whole idea of like different levels of awareness. Like the blackouts for Steven are because he initially has no awareness of the other alters. Then when Steven and Marc black-out, it's because neither of them are aware that there is a third alter aka Jake. Which means that Jake can do things for Khonshu while Marc believes that he is in London and neither Marc nor Steven would be aware.

I'm kind of just rambling about the show at this point but also, what I find really interesting every time I rewatch is the date thing. So, right, if Marc was the one that set-up the date why would he let Steven stand her up without saying anything to her? Marc isn't exactly the best guy when it comes to romance but he is incredibly protective over Steven because he wants to protect him from Khonshu. So, why in the world would he let the whole date rejection thing happen?

Because it wasn't Marc. It was Jake. Jake asked out Steven's colleague and that also makes sense why they went to a steak place. Jake doesn't give a f*ck about Steven's veganism while Marc absolutely would. Marc wants to protect Steven so he wouldn't make such a silly mistake.

But Jake would. Honestly, at this point, convinced that Jake just wanted to fuck with the Moonboys and Khonshu just played along.

I don't know.

I always find the dynamics of the Moonboys so interesting and I love how even when you rewatch it, there are new little discoveries that you can make. Like there was so much love, thought and attention put into this show?? It makes me SO SO happy.

This show honestly means the world to me and excuse the ramble/rant but I just love talking about my Moonboys and I never really get to speculate or discuss the show. I talk about it with my dad but being at uni means that I do not get to ramble at him as often. So, tumblr gets it instead.

But yeah, they're my (not very) astute observations about my beloved Moon Knight

[corgi-cthuwu]

Ugh... I'm done with Choices after ID 3 and Terror Fest Origins finishes, man... We're just going in circles. Terror Fest has been the only good book in a long time, and it's done. The Blades trilogy... the first book was definitely top tier, but the sequels were good, too.

The books they're releasing now are terrible. No matter how long it takes to get a new update for RC, I'd rather take quality over quantity. 3 new books from Choices and it's just badly written smut.

I feel like the only way to actually enjoy a Choices book nowadays (if you really don't like the LI-- if you do, that's great actually) is to just go with the flow, have fun. It's not that serious. Remember that you are not the MC. You're just making their choices in their story. If you actually do enjoy the story then that's great for you! Or maybe you just don't care that much-- either way, it's just a you do you and I'll do me situation.

At the end of the day, Choices has changed. Can't really do much about it since they're a company that only really cares about the money (which I was doubting, but it seems to be going in that direction the way they're heading).

You can't really expect anything huge that the MC can do at the end of it. Like cutting ties with the LI. Basically just suck it up because that's the plot!

(Rant below about Surrender, PB's general laziness, and a bit about Romance Club. It's long.)

It's sickeningly informal. Emojis, slang, shortened versions of words...

Okay, I need to rant about this for a second... I've just started properly reading Surrender, and the one thing that's absolutely pissing me off is the way the MC texts. Like, my god, it's as if she's completely disregarding the fact that this is her divorce lawyer and that she is a grown woman.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS WRITING

And I get it, it's texting, people usually do that-- but her divorce lawyer isn't texting like that at all. Took the time to put in the right grammar, punctuation and everything... while she's over here texting like she's in high school. I think even high schoolers know that you shouldn't text like that to someone IMPORTANT.

I gotta hand it to Reagan, at least they're somewhat formal (inappropriate but still formal)... but I'm sure that's only a show of their character as the uptight one in the relationship-- but barely trying to contain their desire for the MC (honestly, why?)-- having their seriousness and formality so obvious all for a display of dominance.

That's on PB's part for writing Reagan like that. Yeah, I get it, Reagan is "in control" or whatever. They have to be the adult one. And the MC is so naive. It's only for the storyline.

Just because you text "formally" doesn't automatically make you the bigger one in a relationship. Weird call out, but there it is.

And just because the MC is the submissive naivete, doesn't mean she's like... This. WHO TEXTS LIKE THIS TO THEIR DIVORCE LAWYER??

She didn't even do a double-take or clear the air with Reagan after their forward messages either. She just went with it even though it's so obvious that they're gonna fight later on, or she's gonna get in trouble for the dumbest reasons and they're gonna have "heated sex".

"Oh, my divorce lawyer is hitting on me and sending me pictures of riding crops telling me they're gonna punish me if I don't behave? 🤐🤫🍑🥵 I'm not even gonna ask, 🤔 but I better respond questioningly while sending a lot of necessary emojis-- 🤳😛 and I don't really care about the fact that they're hitting on me, just on the fact that we're talking about BDSM and sex and how this is really enlightening for me! 😈😉 I was in an unhappy and sexless marriage you see... I'm so new to this!! I also have a BFF who supports me 24/7 💞💞 so she'll deffo give me the go ahead to get laid 🍆 from my hot divorce lawyer 😜. It's not inappropriate because they're like the hottest bachelor in the city 😍😍. I'm sure this would be REALLY creepy if this was a random person who was poor and ugly and lecherous tho. 🤮" - The MC, probably

THIS WOMAN IS AS BLIND AS A BAT

Like can you imagine if the divorce lawyer looked like Lester Castellanos from BB?? Just as young, just as rich, just as ruthless and practically everyone wants them-- whether as their lawyer or in their bed-- basically, everything is the same but he looks like Lester. Huge difference then.

It's practically similar if you don't find the LI physically attractive.

The only reason I tolerate Reagan for as long as I have in my playthrough is because I made them a woman. I found them more attractive and more digestable for some reason. Can you imagine how much more disgusting Reagan would be if I kept them as a man? Hell no. I would tell him to go to hell but I don't wanna meet him there.

I get that I'm being hypocritical about some of these... But my attraction to toxic masculinity comes in spades and shades, and Reagan Thorne definitely doesn't fit the bill. Especially with how PB wrote him. Reagan's character was terrible in general. The reason for their whole character's existence in the first place is discreditable to say the least. For a smutty cash-grab book with (probably, how would I know) no actual knowledge on BDSM. Source material was definitely the Fifty Shades trilogy. I mean, come on-- Seattle? And the helicopter ride? (What is with billionaire LI's and helicopter rides??) And literally everything else? Just cause you like BDSM doesn't automatically mean you had a shitty family dynamic and you're "broken." Uncreative AF. They could've actually made the book better. Not a shred of respect when you're automatically supposed to be desirable and attractive, and Reagan isn't even showing how to be a Dom correctly. The depiction of BDSM wasn't accurate either. It's actually just manipulation that "is how BDSM works" according to PB.

You'll be shoved down our throats anyway.

This is a huge problem with single LI books, especially if you don't like the LI and the plot is problematic or the LI is being a jerk (because the only person as a romantic interest actively pushing you away or being extremely smug/arrogant is very attractive)...

It's like, PB understands the logical standpoint, you would get mad at the LI, question everything and might even stay away from them at the beginning-- but it's absolutely fruitless. Because there's this PULL.

And that stems from them being the LI. The only LI. So whatever your personal opinion of that LI it doesn't matter a single bit. Every damn MC is always stubborn at the beginning but that down bad enough to consider actually liking the LI. The chemistry is so forced. It's always forced proximity or they're immediately horny for each other, despite the MC hating them just mere moments ago.

What's the use of taking or not taking their diamond options to further "deepen" your relationship? You don't like the LI, so what?

It literally does not matter if the book you're reading is one of those smut-centered ones and it's a single LI book, but you don't like the LI. You're together in the end anyway. The only solution is to not read the book entirely.

A great example of this is TCH. I don't much care for Kieran, though I liked them better in the second book. I actually understood their romance route then, for some reason. Their scenes were really cute and sweet, especially after everything Kieran and MC went through in the first book.

But when it came to just the first one... I remember being so pissed that Radiance was another fake-out LI (yes, let's make this other character default to the same gender as the player chooses Kieran to be-- that won't make anyone mad) that I replayed TCH, denied Kieran's affections every chance I took, and only tried to "romance" Radiance as best I could. And what did that do? Absolutely nothing. Even if ending up with Radiance was a stretch, breaking ties with Kieran after literally staying away from them this entire book is extremely understandable and should've been implemented. Like, what the hell? What do you mean you love me? What do you mean I love YOU? I BARELY KNOW YOU. Can I PLEASE leave?

The chemistry is forced. It's even worse when they declare their "love" for each other during the climax of the end. This isn't love!

It doesn't matter what you personally think of the LI, just know that you're stuck with them and your MC will always be attracted to them even if you actively go out of your way to pick all the options that are as negative as possible. Even if you stand your ground against their "eyes that darkened dangerously", internally the MC is shivering with lust. It's so random to get those kind of options which are considerably less romantic but the outcome is that the MC is still horny for the LI no matter what option you pick. There's no choice, ironically.

This is sort of why I love it when we don't know who the LI's are. The possibilities are endless when it comes to creativity. But Choices kind of feels like it's all set in stone.

That's why Simon and Lindsay were a saving grace in Save The Date. There'll be people who actually like Justin, but at least the "romance" and chemistry wasn't shoved in our face. Justin was annoying as all hell (for me, and I'm not hating on anyone who like his route), but he was still kind of appealing because there was a choice between these three drastically different LI's.

And about there being "no choice"... Another little pet peeve of mine, and it's kind of nitpicky, so I understand if not everyone sees it this way as well.

On the other hand, sometimes there's too MUCH of a choice. Literally opening scene for the pilot of Do No Harm, and the reader for some reason gets the option to choose whether the victim the LI kills at the start will defy or grovel at their feet before death. Why am I choosing how this random person acts??

It would be so much better if you just watched how it happened, no choice at all. Because it's not even my character! Just some random dude at the start to give you a taste of how "ruthless" the mafia boss LI is. PB, let me be scared of them! Maybe the victim could've groveled on their own and they get shot anyway, but it's not my choice to make how they act. Let the character... be the character.

And I feel like that could've been salvaged if you had just did better with the writing and technical narrative design. Keep in mind, this is the PILOT for an upcoming book-- and it's already pretty bad. AI aside, the plot is... The concept was actually interesting, but the MC having this whiplash to hating then being outrageously down bad for the LI took me out.

PB nowadays have been so soulless. It started with the names. The last names for characters are recycled for some reason, with the characters having no relationship to other characters with those names. Julian Navarro = Donovan Navarro.

There's also Trystan Thorne and Reagan Thorne... They're from completely different books and not related at all biologically. Why didn't you just use a different last name??

And with Do No Harm, they recycled the last name from Rivals With Benefits-- "Coine." RWB is a fresh book that just ended. Literally, it's not hard picking a default name. Just go on Pinterest and look up name ideas. Or maybe start using your human head and give the character a name that actually means something and is unique to them, y'know, since they're a new character?

It's a NEW book, clean slate, and you're recycling the names?? Why??

Those gender-neutral names for GOC MC/LI's are absolutely vile to me, because you KNOW they didn't even try. Sam Carpenter for the MC in Terror Fest as a nod to Scream was a good one... But for other GOC MC/LI's it's basically, 'what's the most gender-neutral name we haven't used for a character yet? It's for the gender, not their character or personality. Who cares what the character's names are, right?'

Why recycle the name?? What's the purpose?

Then it hit me. There IS no purpose. It occurred to me that they're probably getting so lazy, reusing names and body types and tropes because the characters are an empty husk. They don't give them their unique lives, they don't have any other purpose than to tell the story they're going to be for. They're not even characters, just shells that can be filled and emptied again and again. The teams behind the writing (which I highly doubt there are anymore) don't have any particular fondness for the characters they wrote. They're not treated with much thought.

It's not like RC, where each character has substance. They're THEM. They're treated as OC's, not some overused lifeless husk. You can set them apart from other characters from different books if you put them in the same room, and they would still be THEMSELVES. Even Seaweed from Soulless has better character than the MC's of these newer books. Consistency, for one. And that's coming from a cat.

And I know RC has its faults, too-- I'm not ignoring that. I don't want Choices to be perfect, and I'm not saying RC is (it definitely isn't). But so far, RC is generally just doing way better compared to Choices nowadays in some aspects. And they still have their heart.

And one thing about RC is that they listen to their fanbase. Maybe with poor judgement, and they're not exactly implementing the best choices (like adding LI's later on due to popular demand, most if not all the time male LI's-- which works out occasionally but in that situation the best case scenario is that none of previous LI's gets left behind and their character arcs are all complete... and worst case is what's going on with HSR), but they do listen.

When it comes to the writing however is the author's own thing. Sometimes there's a canon LI, which they make quite obvious... Or the writing in the way they tackle certain routes or triggering scenes is pretty bad. Or there's obvious internal misogyny. Or the writing and representation is just bad in general.

There's not a lot of LGBTQIA+ representation in RC, especially MLM-- since most of the MC's aren't men-- and WLW is struggling as it is. Male to female LI ratios are insane (6 vs 1??) They are sidelined most of time (especially in their older books, if there are any) and sometimes just aren't done very well with little to no thought.

GOC MC's, on the other hand... Choices gets the win for that one. And generally being more open-minded and less conservative with their LI's. Choices has been heavily ahead in that for a good while now, which is great.

But the soulless, corporate cash-grab aspect it's in right now is damning. The plots are reused. The background characters are reused. The whole "if someone else does it, my MC isn't a bad person" mentality. The LI's nowadays are annoying. Again, most of the choices don't really matter that much. In the newer books, your MC is basically the same person personality wise... unless you have a guilty pleasure for that book and add your own personal headcanons.

In RC the MC's choices are actually life or death. It's always frightening to see that 'your choice will affect the plot' notification but the walkthrough hasn't been updated yet so you don't know if you actually did something horrible.

But going back to Choices... I know I can't really expect much... I mean, that's what you opened the book for right? You expected all this. It's right in the title. If you don't like it, just don't read it. That simple. You don't have to rant about it. It's not that big of a deal.

But the quality of Choices nowadays is significant, especially compared to their older books and how they were before. I just hate to see the state Choices is in right now. Not even trying, every book has the same plot with the same arrogant/cocky LI. Holding on to every surprise book that becomes popular and drawing it out. Using AI. Joining an AI company. Their older books weren't perfect, but at least they had a soul.

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: Chapter 7

Chapter 6

♡———♡

Kate: Haa...

It's been a day since the incident at the back of the tavern...

(I tried asking the other members of the Crown for Alfons's weaknesses, but...)

(All I got were responses like "I can't think of anything.")

No dislikes in terms of food.

He'll eat anything, no matter how bad it tastes or looks, even if it seems like it'll make him sick.

"His stomach is a bottomless pit," Lord Elbert told me.

(I figured that if he didn't have any dislikes, maybe someone he cares about who he wouldn't want to disappoint would be his weakness.)

(I thought that might be Lord Elbert...)

But William said that damaging Lord Elbert's trust wouldn't hurt Alfons.

According to him:

William: For Alfons, trust from others is nothing but a troublesome burden.

William: In the first place, it would be difficult to damage Elbert's trust in Alfons.

(I wonder what about that character-wrecked guy that has such a hold on Lord Elbert's heart.)

(They're not quite like master and servant. More like childhood friends...)

The nature of their relationship is still unclear, and the mystery only deepens.

(I asked other people too, but I couldn't get a clear answer...)

Harrison: A special person for Al?

Harrison: I don't know. Maybe he doesn't have a specific partner?

Liam: I only know about his playmates... Sorry I can't be of more help.

(I haven't been able to ask Jude and Ellis, who are always out of the castle, yet.)

Kate: I guess I have to investigate him directly...

As I mutter to myself, Roger, who has just entered the dining hall, smiles wryly.

Roger: You're a stubborn one, lil lady.

Kate: Roger... I'm so sorry for what happened yesterday. I must have been a real sight to behold.

Roger: Oh, don't worry about it.

Roger: It was pretty funny watching you run away after being drugged and getting into a compromising situation. But then you came back with renewed determination.

Kate: Well...

(I'd rather not be reminded of that...)

My face flushed, and Roger lifted the corners of his mouth in a teasing way.

Roger: I don't mind a woman with a fighting spirit.

(... He can say things like that so casually.)

Kate: You're quite the player yourself, aren't you, Roger?

Roger: Haha, not as reckless as Al. I choose my partners.

(He doesn't deny it... In fact,--)

His words implied that "Alfons doesn't choose his partners."

(Last night, the man in the suspicious room said, "You've been through some tough times, too, haven't you?")

That overlapped with something Alfons had told me before.

--bedroom flashback--

Alfons: Life is a tragedy. You need an escape, don't you?

Alfons: All you have to do is paint over everything that's scary and sad with fun things and forget about it.

--end of flashback--

(The back of the tavern... is it an escape to paint over fear and anxiety?)

--In that case, the people who gather there must be people who are facing something difficult.

That's the condition for becoming Alfons' "playmate".

(Maybe the reason Alfons became my "imaginary lover" was...)

Roger: So, lil lady, what would you do if I told you that guy's weakness doesn't really exist?

Kate: Eh?

Roger: He doesn't have anything important, and he won't get hurt no matter how much you insult, despise, anger, or hate him.

Roger: If he doesn't care about you and doesn't have the will to live in reality, what would you do?

(Doesn't have the will to live in reality...)

What came to mind was a hollow smile that looked like he was laughing but wasn't.

(If that's what Alfons is thinking...)

--CHOICES--

It might be pitiful

It's sad

It's lonely

-------------

Kate: That's... kind of lonely.

Roger: Heh, lonely, is it?

Roger: --"I'm in trouble because I can't control him without a weakness," isn't that what you said?

Kate: Eh!? Ah, well, that's true, but...

(…Why did I think that?)

(Maybe, perhaps…)

It might be because I remembered his cold smile.

That expression, like he was nowhere even though he was right in front of me.

(If Alfons had been laughing genuinely)

(I probably wouldn't have been so concerned about him.)

Roger: ... By the way, I heard he's going to East End tonight.

Kate: Eh? Is it a mission?

Roger: No. From what I saw, it seems like his irregular hobby.

With that, Roger grins, as if he can see through my next move.

Roger: If you follow him, you might learn a little more about him.

-

(... But Roger said he would come with me!)

Roger: Well, I'll just kill some time around here.

Kate: Eh?

Roger: Don't worry, I'll hear you if anything happens.

As soon as we arrived in town, Roger disappeared into a nearby tavern, and I was left to follow Alfons alone.

(I didn't really go around this area much even when I was a letter carrier...)

I walked cautiously through a place that couldn't be called safe, trying not to lose sight of his raven hair that blended into the darkness.

(Is this...?)

The place Alfons had entered was an abandoned warehouse filled with nothing but scrap metal.

As soon as he arrived, people started to gather around him, and in no time, a crowd had formed.

(What on earth...?)

My heart pounded with indescribable anxiety as I watched the strange scene from the shadows.

Alfons: Now, now, don't be so impatient... One at a time, in order.

Alfons touched their necks in a practiced manner and whispered something.

(Is he using his ability?)

(Is he showing them something with it?)

The people in the crowd started to make ecstatic expressions as they were whispered to, and they started to walk around unsteadily, or laugh and cry on the spot... They looked like they were under the influence of illegal drugs or some kind of illusion.

(Why is Alfons doing this...?)

He looked like a merciful Virgin Mary, listening to each person's story and then giving them an illusion with his palm outstretched.

Alfons: ...

I couldn't look away, I just held my breath.

After sending everyone into an illusion, his gray eyes met mine.

Alfons: ... Instead of trembling like a stranger over there, why don't you come over here? It's lonely.

Kate: ...!

Kate: Oh no... I've been found.

Alfons: Since you've found me, there's nothing to be done.

Emerging from behind the wall where he was hiding, he elegantly crossed his legs on a roadside crate and tapped it twice.

Kate: ...

With a determined step, she approaches him.

She sits down on the crate and...

Alfons: You've come all this way to find my weakness, haven't you?

Alfons: You must be madly in love with me by now.

Kate: No, it's not like that!

Alfons: Hehe, you don't have to be so embarrassed.

Alfons teases me, and I blush and deny it.

I feel relieved by the exchange that has somehow become part of our daily routine... and confused at the same time.

When I look ahead, I see people wandering around with ecstatic expressions on their faces.

I don't feel scared at all to be next to the mastermind behind this spectacle.

Kate: What is this... exactly?

Alfons: As you can see, I'm showing you. Convenient illusions.

Alfons: For those who have lost loved ones, a brief reunion with their phantoms.

Alfons: For those who are struggling, a temporary utopia.

Kate: ... Is it okay to use your powers on ordinary people without a second thought?

The existence of the "Cursed Ones" and their abilities are supposed to be top secret.

Alfons: Aha! You're so serious.

But he laughed it off with a mischievous smile.

Alfons: I've been doing this since before I joined the Crown.

Alfons: It's not like I can be told to stop now, just because it's classified.

Alfons: Everyone knows it's an illusion, and they come here seeking an escape.

Kate: Did these people know that Alfons was coming?

Kate: Was there some kind of... agreement?

Alfons: No way! I don't make promises, it's too much trouble.

Alfons: I am an illusion that you may never meet again.

(An illusion that I may never meet again...)

Alfons: Even so, "I may meet you again."

Alfons: "There may be a moment of salvation."

Alfons: Such expectations are necessary to crawl through a reality that continues to be bleak.

His theatrical voice flutters down from above my head along with the light that spills through the gaps in the warehouse ceiling.

Under that light, he wore a clown's mask of a smile.

Alfons: ... Isn't it shallow, pitiful, and lovable?

That's one way to look at it.

( ... But it's not like that)

His tone and gaze were completely different from that of someone looking down on someone else with a sense of superiority.

(What I feel from Alfons is...)

A deep, thirsty resignation that he understands how futile this act is, and a feeling that is neither pity nor compassion for the people who cling to it.

When I look at his profile––my chest tightens.

(Why...?)

Alfons: ............

I silently watched Alfons, who was still smiling, when---.

???: ... It's been a while.

Alfons: Oh, well, what a rare guest.

A man in shabby clothes approaches.

Man with sharp eyes: I heard rumors, but... are you really doing this?

Alfons: Yes, sometimes.

He has a beard, but judging by his walk and voice, he is probably the same age as Alfons.

The way he speaks casually is one-sided, but it's as if he's a friend.

(Who is this guy...? )

The smell of alcohol wafts over me as he gets closer.

Man with sharp eyes: What's your name these days? Lord Alfons, the aristocrat? ... What a joke!

The man who approached him suddenly raises his voice.

Kate: ––!?

He raises his hand and grabs Alfons by the collar and pins him against the wall.

Alfons: Oh, oh... what a passionate greeting. Are you that type?

Alfons tilts his head slowly and raises his hands in surrender.

Man with sharp eyes: You got in good with a pedo doctor, got out of the slum, and now you're acting like a noble with a maid?

Man with sharp eyes: You're making fun of me...!

(Got out of the slum...? )

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 8

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[zeezelweazel]

Valorant| Going against your omega double|

____________________________

I'm so obsessed with the women in this game even though I won't ever touch it :)

Characters included : Jett, Neon, Killjoy, Raze

______________________________________

• Jett •

This was brought up in conversation many times before and Jett had always boasted about how she's going to be totally unaffected.

"Pfft what? Why would it matter if it has my girlfriend's face? It's still an enemy from omega earth. And not my girlfriend at all. There's no way I'd fall for something like that."

Now the time has come for Jett to regret her words.

It's her responsibility to push forward and clear a path for Killjoy so she can defuse the spike while Sage is covering their back. And thank god Sage is there because everything went south really quickly.

It went horrible so fast not even Jett herself could react. One moment she had shot enemy Neon with one of her kunai and the next she was tackled into the ground.

Your double had her pinned using their hips as they pulled out a knife to stab her. Jett's hands were completely free and yet she didn't do anything with them. She was truly frozen, lamely laying there, waiting to get stabbed.

Thankfully for her Killjoy had sent one of her bots to help out. Your double wasn't expecting it so they got defeated with one shot.

Jett is pretty embarrassed by the hole thing, she never wants to bring it up, not even to you.

Also she might be a little shaken up. Just a little.

• Neon •

Much like Jett, Neon didn't think this occasion would affect her at all. She's very confident in her abilities in battle and she trusts herself to get the job done no matter who she has to fight to achieve that.

She forgot that you even had an omega double by the time it happened. It had been so long since you started dating, even longer since she joined the protocol, and yet she's never seen your omega double on a mission.

But today you were on a mission, all right.

You had practically obliterated their entire squad, reaping through their defenses and heading for the site to plant the spike. Before she even knew it, all of her teammates were out of the equation.

It was you against her.

Now, you and Neon had had your fair share of training sessions together so she knew how your powers worked. She also had a basic idea of your advantages and disadvantages but this wasn't you she was fighting.

It may look like you but Neon knows this isn't her girlfriend she's facing.

And yet...

When it all came down to it she hesitated. She had a clear shot, you hadn't even seen her coming but when she looked at your face Neon couldn't bring herself to shoot. Thankfully a half dead and limping Reyna was there to finish the mission. Neon winced when she locked eyes with her mentor.

She was in for one hell of a lecture.

• Killjoy •

The german genius has thought of every possibility and outcome imaginable when it comes to the protocol's missions. She knows very well the possibility she might have to face you in battle is very real.

Even though Killjoy is aware of the chances she still has no real way of preparing and that's what scares her the most.

Will she do it without a problem? Will she hesitate? Will she freeze? Will she kill you and then die of guilt?

She truly can't predict the outcome of such a meeting.

The next mission was the fateful one and the worst part was that both your double and hers were there.

At first everything was fine. Her bots were able to do their job and the situation appeared to be controlled by the other agents. It was only after you injured Yoru that things started to shift and before she knew it they were loosing the fight. That's when she understood what position that left her in. It became necessary for her kill you.

Killjoy was moving towards you as mechanically as her bots and managed to shoot you in the lungs. All was fine until she heard her own voice panicked and shaking, calling out for you. She peaked over the crate she was hiding behind to see her double cradling your injured form in her chest. Tears were clouding her eyes as she desperately called for Sage.

Killjoy couldn't bare to see this, fully knowing that she could be in her double's position. When she returned from this mission you noticed Killjoy was more clingy that usual but you didn't dare ask anything.

• Raze •

Raze was the one who voiced her concern over a predicament like this. You were quick to reassure her but it did little to ease her worries.

Every time she stepped into battle she let out a breath of relief at your absence.

It's not like Raze feels any sort of sympathy for the enemy. It's just different when it comes to you. No matter which earth, you still look the same. Same beautiful eyes and undoubtedly soft hair. How can she be expected to kill you?

In the midst of the battle, Raze would not hesitate.

Turns out that even though she had worries they never stopped her from doing what needed to be done.

She was going to defuse the spike even if you're the one she has to kill to get to it. The fight wasn't particularly easy. It fascinated Raze a little. How even though you look the same and you sound the same and you have the same powers you're a totally different person. Raze has never seen you use your abilities like this in battle. Your omega double had a completely different fighting style.

Of course this didn't faze her at all. She still came out on top. Spyke defused, mission complete. Easy.

Until the adrenaline rush came to an end and she actually thought back to the battle. Her brain had decided to torture her by constantly replaying the memory of her shooting you in the head.

Raze would need your support after this encounter. She knows she's being childish but it can't be helped. She just killed someone who looks exactly like her lover so give her a break.

____________________________________________________

[kitsune-oji]

Hi! I saw that post of the 22nd of August when you asked if anyone had ideas for fics, could I suggest a fic where Mammon comforts a gn MC who is scared to death after an horror game marathon with Levi but tries to hide it?

I hope I respected the rules and this made sense, English isn't my first language.

I wish you the best of days.

With You

I don't have to feel scared

Thank you for this cute idea!! Your English is very good, don't worry :) it's not my first language either btw. I hope you like it ✨

Mammon x/& gn! Mc (you/yours)

Word count: 653

Warnings/Tags: comfort, fluff, Reader being scared after playing horror games and being a bit shy

It was fun, it really was. You enjoyed playing with Levi and the fact that it was a horror game was alright too. While you were there, even though you jumped and yelled and held on tightly to the blanket in your lap or the controller, you weren't too scared.

But now it was different.

Levi wasn't next to you anymore, yelping and saying you scared him by getting scared yourself. You didn't have anything to focus on, no goal in a game to work towards. Somehow, not actually being in such a suspenseful situation made it worse.

The darkness of the corridor, the endless silence stretching on until you got to your room. Every little creaking sound made you flinch and look around, as if expecting something to jump out from the next corner and see something crawl away in the corner of your eye.

Sort of stupid, wasn't it? When you lived in a house with demons, one would think you wouldn't get scared so easily anymore. Unfortunately it didn't work that way.

Your room felt cold and uninviting when you stepped over the threshold. Even turning the light on didn't save you from the uncomfortable, anxious feeling in your gut. Images from the game kept flashing through your mind, scary scenes replaying again and again to the point you feared they would actually manifest in real life.

You couldn't be alone. Not right now. Should you go back to Levi? Maybe not, you weren't sure. Either way, you needed someone around you, so you quickly walked out of your room again and screeched when suddenly there was someone right in front of you.

Mammon held his ears and shot you a look you couldn't quite place. It wasn't happy at least.

"It's just me, what the hell is your problem? Damn that hurt..."

Despite his choice of words, he didn't sound too angry. You tried to calm your racing heart.

"I noticed ya weren't with Levi anymore so I thought I'd come over. What's with the screaming? I don't look that horrible."

He really didn't. Mammon was like a sight for sore eyes, his mere presence made you feel better already. Yet your hands still shook.

"I'm sorry, I-, there's just, I wasn't, I'm just a bit.. jumpy right now", you stuttered, trailing off and looking at Mammon's reaction tentatively.

His eyebrows lifted and you could basically see a lightbuld over his head lighting up.

"What, yer scared cause of some dumb video game? Why did ya play it then?"

"I wasn't that scared when we actually played it, it's just, now that everything is quiet I keep thinking about it..."

He blinked, then looked to the side and scratched his neck, stepping from one foot onto the other.

"Ya know...", he started, "If you want me to keep you company, you just gotta say it."

You tugged on one of his sleeves until he looked at you again and nodded. There was a pause before Mammon took your hand from his sleeve and held it in his own instead. Looking straight ahead, he marched towards his room with you. You could see the tips of his ears twitching slightly.

Once you were in his room, Mammon put on one of his action movies. The sounds of racing, explosions, gunfire and talking was much better than the suffocating silence from before. You crawled under the blanket with him and he tugged you close to his side when you leaned against his shoulder.

Like this, all the fear from before felt so far away. Like a distant dream.

Slowly, you closed your eyes and took in Mammon's scent, the sounds of the movie, the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the warmth of his arm securely around you. With your own demon, you didn't have to fear anything else coming to hurt you. He would be stronger than them all.

[2n2n]

with no ability to really know what is going to happen or has happened, what would be my own ideal ...

I would love the Clockeepers to have had a hubris and just be fucking obliterated or sublimated into whatever Amane has going on, powerless. I would love for the twist to be that they just don't really have a simple ripcord to pull like Akane thinks. I like Amane and Tsukasa as such disruptors, the likes of which the system has no good plan for controlling, especially with Nene-chan acting together with them, with all her special powers. I'm not sure if it's plausible at all though, given Akane still has his yorishiro from the clockkeepers.... <- but we still don't know what really happens to a yorishiro that is 'taken over' by another 'mystery'.... other than that Mitsuba just didn't seem to have one anymore at all, so he clearly didn't longterm inherit the Tengu's in a meaningful way (though in Hell of Mirrors, Hanako seemed to briefly still believe they could strip the ceiling yorishiro to fix things? So is there a holdover period? would having a new yorishiro have just made Mitsuba more stable/powerful ? did his bond to the Tengu's gradually lessen ? was it still technically there, bonding him to the system of Mysteries at all, just not ... well? he definitely had his own properties due to his condition after all, much like how everything about Hanako isn't a result of being a mystery, but a result of his specific situation...)

anyway. Mitsuba's situation is obviously waiting in the wings for a proper explanation (it wouldn't have been introduced at the end of the Festival otherwise... Iro-sensei does pick things back up later)... which makes me suspect it will come into play in some way.... even just in service to an explanation ... I also think learning something about the usurping of yorishiro would be verrrryyy valuable for analyzing Tsukasa...

anyway (a second time). I'd love Akane to not have the sway he thinks he does in this situation. Everyone got pretty owned by the Clockkeepers last round, we've already proven their Big Power so, no need to do that a second time.

[cookinguptales]

Excited to see that you watched vampterview! You always have such fun and interesting commentary on stuff. No pressure of course but I'd look forward to any Sarah takes you might have on it 👀

Who knows? Maybe! I'm about to go on a three-week road trip, but we'll see how much time I have!

I'm still digesting a bit, I'll admit, and I really don't know what's already been discussed to death in the fandom. Personally, my academic interests were always really focused on stories, how we tell them, how we internalize them, and how we can't help but put ourselves, our experiences, and our biases into our retellings of them. To be loved is to be changed when memories of us live in the hearts of others, y'know?

So... I'd say that I was really interested in the ways they played with unreliable narrators in the series. How the concept of the sanctity of primary sources was really dismantled. Because they were all primary sources and they were all telling completely different stories! Whether it was due to misremembering, bias, or literal mind control, even the written sources simply could not be trusted.

I remember there was this really formative experience for me was when I was 16 years old and taking summer classes at UChicago. I was studying Egyptology there, which meant I was spending a lot of time at the Institute for the Study of Ancient Cultures (formerly the OI) studying and translating the artifacts there.

I don't remember all the details (though I guess I could probably pin down the particulars if I combed through their collections) but I remember seeing two ancient accounts of the same war written by both sides -- and both accounts claimed victory. And, y'know, whether each side had a different definition of victory or whether someone was just straight-up lying... I mean. It brings up the idea of an unreliable narrator on a massive historical scale.

Sometimes, particularly with older historical events, we're only going to have scattered archaeological fragments that we can piece together. Sometimes we have to do a lot of guessing and detective work to come to any conclusion at all. And historically, we have prioritized written accounts over all other forms of evidence. But, y'know... people lie. Or they misremember. Or they misconstrue. Reconstructing history not just through first-person accounts but by looking at other evidence and questioning those accounts is crucial. And even then, we'll probably never find any objective "truth," if objective truth even exists in a situation like that.

So... like, an unreliable narrator is nothing new in media. But framing it through Daniel, who is a nonfiction writer trying to make sense of all of these different testimonies to construct an actual historical narrative... That made it really interesting to me. It wasn't just all of these different vampires stating their truths. It was Daniel trying to sort through all of the misdirection to find out what actually happened. And the show makes it clear that, while he gets close, he'll probably never know all the details for sure. It simply isn't possible.

So IWTV, to me, was a really interesting look at the impossibility of constructing an objective historical narrative, especially when speaking about very old events with few sources. You have mentally ill vampires who are several decades removed from the events in question, you have contemporaneous (but very biased) journal entries, you have newspaper clippings written by journalists who had very little information, you have artifacts that may (or may not!) confirm certain testimonies...

idk. I guess while I do have thoughts about the characters and their motivations, I was more interested in the way that things were framed and presented in the show. I thought that was really neat.

[archivalofsins]

Milgram has amazing rewatch value. Because you'll do something like start listening to Mikoto's second voice drama and realize that he was brought in there and chained up while still unconscious. Which is why after Es calls out to him he wakes up and is then surprised to be chained up.

[sound of door opening and Es entering]

Mikoto...

[sound of stirring and rustling cloth as though sitting up]

"Ah... Hi, Warden-kun."

You... are Mikoto, right?

"Uh... What are you talking about? It really feels like it's been a while, doesn't it? How have you been-"

[chains jingling]

"Huh? What's that...? Chains?! Oh, no- Take them off!"

I refuse. You're too dangerous. Physical restrictions are necessary.

"...Umm... Eheheh. What are you on about? Restraining someone that couldn't even hurt a fly."

End of Trial 1 Report

"Prisoner No.09, Mikoto. Guilty… I see. And that was an overwhelming vote. I’ve heard about the commotion he caused. I heard that it was quite difficult- No, I’m sorry. ……He is by far the most irregular. This one is really unexpected even for us. I'll cut him some slack this time, but if he’s going to become an obstacle for all, I'm going to take action."

Jackalope’s “Second Trial Commencement Notice”

Prisoner No. 9: Mikoto Kayano.

"Your judgment was “guilty”, and as such, his ideas were rejected. However... We have a problem. MILGRAM’s control didn’t seem to work on him. That is to say, he’s got a real case of multiple identity disorder. Don’t you get it?

The Mikoto Kayano that MILGRAM brought in as a prisoner is just his primary identity. MILGRAM was not able to account for the soul of his other identity as a separate prisoner, so has not been able to administer the proper punishment as it should have.

Hey now. Don’t judge me so harshly! I’ve been doing this a long time, but... there’s a first time for everything. We’re in a bit of a mess ourselves over this, you know."

"I'll cut him some slack this time, but if he’s going to become an obstacle for all, I'm going to take action."

"Huh? What's that...? Chains?! Oh, no- Take them off!"

"Well, we’ll use this case to improve our services in the future. So during this time, he’s been immune from the rules, unchained. Kotoko attacked him and they had a real dogfight. They were evenly matched, and he’s completely fine, intact. Maybe because he let off some steam from all that fighting, he’s back to being his primary identity. Dear oh dear."

Something not helped by the second Milgram novel displaying that Jackalopes have the ability to control the movements of prisoners,

"Ah, what a nonsensical situation." from the edge of my vision a bundle of fur walks into the passageway, "Let's have you back away from Es now." The words barely have a moment to sit in the air as Tatsumi is flung back by an invisible force the chains pressure lifting off my neck. I collapse against the wall breath heaving back into my chest. This is the first time Tatsumi has been subjected to Milgram's method of intervention, "Haa?" he stands there stunned by its' strength. However, Jacka's intervention does not end there. Tatsumi's arms begin to move stiffly as though torn between moving them forward or back. The chains inching closer to his own neck. The frantic panic within his eyes tells me all I need to know. He isn't moving of his own will. His hands turn on himself using strangling him with the chain he just had wrapped around my neck so tightly his skin protrudes through the holes. "Gah-" he falls to his knees hands struggling to loosen the chain before jerking them taught in defiance. Jacka's voice is indifferent, "I'd like to avoid any strange incidents occurring under my management. " he takes a seat near my hands that still shook lightly against the floor he sends a harsh gaze towards Mako the inciter of this incident, "As such listen carefully, do not underestimate the power of Milgram too much. In this place manipulating people's mind like this is quite easy. I can end any of you prisoners' lives with just a fleeting thought if I so desired. " Despite everything that had occurred right before her eyes, Mako's smile had not faltered, "..." "Jacka... you saved me."

Another thing to note is Milgram does not care about what happens to prisoners that have already been judged within the novels. This is shown through the death of a character. When asked if Milgram does not care about what happens to prisoners that have been judged already why not just release them it's stated that because their presence and what may happen to them within the prison as a result of their judgment could impact the guards future judgments. This is pretty much a good display of why there are no fights during the trial but there are no rules against it after they've been judged that trial.

Jacka also mentions that their are ranks amongst Jackalopes and he has a manager he has to report to. Jackalope within in Milgram (webseries) is shown to be getting reports from the Jackalope in the first novel putting him in a position of management and he is later shown to have the authority to fire other Jackalope's. He also refers to Milgram as his Milgram and doesn't make to many statements about being management like others in the novel. Then when referring to the Milgram system in general he uses we and our-

"We’re in a bit of a mess ourselves over this, you know."-"Well, we’ll use this case to improve our services in the future."

As well as not making any allusions to needing to speak to a supervisor before making changes to his Milgram instead stating things such as,

"I'll cut him some slack this time, but if he’s going to become an obstacle for all, I'm going to take action."

Ultimately going yeah sure that guy I said was completely average kicked your ass and did something that should be impossible under our system... But I'll let him have this one! I can take it as a learning experience. Ah-ha I'm so messy... I treat this shit like a game because none of it is my responsibility-

"Sorry. I’m like the guy on the couch watching the sports highlights and complaining, don’t mind me."

If he keeps it up he's gonna have to find out though. Yet, for now this shit was hilarious I'll let it pass. It's later shown that Mikoto (John) to Jackalope's own admission at the start of trial two is not constrained by the rules of Milgram at all,

"MILGRAM’s control didn’t seem to work on him. That is to say, he’s got a real case of multiple identity disorder. The Mikoto Kayano that MILGRAM brought in as a prisoner is just his primary identity. MILGRAM was not able to account for the soul of his other identity as a separate prisoner. So, has not been able to administer the proper punishment as it should have. "

Live Jackalope Reaction: "This man is pushing my leniency."

Kidding he seems to still find this very funny and a mild inconvenience at best,

"Maybe because he let off some steam from all that fighting, he’s back to being his primary identity. Dear oh dear."

Dearie me whatever shall we do this seems like entertainment to me and a problem for you~

Meanwhile Mikoto is still very much accounted for and under Milgram's control again to Jackalope's admission. So, he really is like well if it doesn't interrupt what I'm trying to do it's fine that's for you to judge him for really. That makes the only time Jackalope would be able to manipulate Mikoto in such a way when Mikoto (the prisoner and primary identity Milgram's words not mine) was fronting not Mikoto (John). So it doesn't surprise me that after the attack on his guard and the failure to properly administer punishment due to Mikoto's unique circumstances he just went,

"Fuck it I'm getting you in the interrogation room somehow even if I have to use my abilities as Jackalope and administrator to do it. Have fun waking up in chains loser- You're gonna have a regular interrogation this time over your chained up body."

"I’d say, with this (Kotoko), and also Mikoto Kayano, it’s just a terrible luck of the draw for you all. On the other hand, maybe it’s too good to be true?"