#Even though ive had this account for a few years now lol

[rapharoon]

I literally never post on here LOL

Anyways here, have my version of a Rottmnt Mona

(May or may not have had a little inspiration from a certain female wrestler)

[moonlitscales]

Who’s your favorite oc???

(YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHAT YOU'VE DONE /POS)

Favorite? No way I could pick favorites! My ocs are all like my children and I love them all equally no matter how long I've had them or why I created them-

HER. This DUMBASS has been a brain worm of mine for like I think almost 2 years now (??) I'm so obsessed with her its not even funny

(+ this post will be reblogged to my art account)

@d4ddy-duck can vouch for me. (ALSO YOU PLEAAAAASE READ THIS POST!!!)

Warning: Oc ramble post. Please please PLEASE stick around i have so much to say about my oc 83

EEK!!! YOU WANNA LEARN ABOUT MY SILLY SCENE CAT OC!!!!!

Basically, her name is Sia Kitlen Mese and I suck at names so that's why her name is a giant pun because her cat breed is siamese T_T.

Shes into the scene-ish style and a HUGE music lover; she carries her earbuds and ipod everywhere. (I gave her an ipod bc i though it was cool and fit her lol). She's a mischievous little shit and hopeless romantic. She can't keep a relationship for long, (if at all), because of how often her and her sister move from town to town for 'unknown reasons'.

She has an older sister, Nova, who is also a close second to being a favorite of mine but you can tell Sia is my favorite because of how many drawings I have of her...

(Please click for better quality on all of them!!)

and those are just from my CURRENT sketchbook I got in November! Heres a few from my last sketchbook (DEFINITELY not all)

I even made a freaking opposite au for my own oc T_T

It's not funny how much I love her.

Also, you've gotten this far and ik ive said it before but i'll say it again, Sia was originally a really cringy and bad welcome home oc 😭🙏

WARNING FOR THE ORIGINAL SKETCHES MAN

She was so.... EUGHHH. SHE DOESNT EVEN FIT IN WITH THE STYLE OF WELCOME HOME 😭😭

But genuinely, I am so, SO impressed with myself at the improvement in both my art style and character development. She went from half a self-insert that didn't fit in the fandom to my biggest oc with a storyline I'm still definitely working on.

Like, these two were the same characters were drawn by the same person at some point????

But yeah, Sia is my absolute favorite and I really adore her <3

(Also saying not saying, if anyone is interested AT ALL in her and her sisters story PLEASEEE TELL ME!!!)

[skullrift]

Do you have any in sys relationships that are especially interesting/memorable to you? Familial or romantic!

oh BOY little do you know the can of worms you just opened (lighthearted)

a lot of our system's function comes from our insys relationships tbh. some of them are more complicated than others, but they are all important. ill just talk about the more notable ones though

context to mention first, we are almost all romantically involved with eachother to an extent. i often refer to us as a walking polycule lol. the only exception is me and driell because he is my biological child.

the biggest/most iconic one i think is me and reffy. we are both the main hosts most of the time. one of my headmates mentioned this before in a response to another ask so i wont ramble about it too long, but i created him and put a lot of myself into him. i refer to him as my "son" metaphorically, but hes not literally my son. we were VERY inseparable back in 2021, and we still are to an extent - but we're able to focus on our out of system relationships more now as we've learned to trust other people and have been able to have some distance since then. which is overall positive.

ramen and nuni have a similar attachment. we think nuni sort of "accidentally" created ramen through an imaginary friend sort of deal, they were close years before we even knew we were plural. their relationship has grown more strained over the years as we've split more and nuni has been around less, but it's one of those relationships where they can pick up where they left off after weeks or months of not talking and it feels like there was never any distance to begin with.

dire is close to a lot of us, but his relationship with me and nuni is one of the most notable. nuni and i are the cores of the system, and dire has been around for a while. he's always been a sort of caretaker/comforter, and hes been there for us (especially me) for as long as we can remember. hes there for everyone else as well, but as ive grown and matured ive been able to do what he does for me for everyone else .... if that makes sense?

dire and ramen have a close relationship as well, but for a completely different reason. theyre in a polycule with an alter from our partner system, so theyre one of eachothers primary partners.

i think those are the most significant relationships we have for the most part. otherwise we have a few that are confusing and/or undefinable lol

driell’s relationships with other headmates are strange because he’s very anti social and secretive. he seems to have taken a liking to reffy? but we can’t really tell. he also has an odd almost sibling-like rivalry with ramen that developed earlier this year when they had to share a minecraft account lol. i think ramen mostly fed into and exaggerated it though since they are just silly like that

fen seems to have taken a strangely strong liking to zane as of late. she keeps stealing his shirt. i honestly don’t know what’s happening there lol

nox and i have bonded over both being dog therians. i think it kind of looks up to me in that regard, it’s sweet

then there’s zane and i. nobody knows what we are and it annoys the rest of the system lol. i hated him at first. now i have no idea. but it’s fun

those are the main ones that come to mind. obviously there are others, but these are the most influential ones as of now :]

- 🥀

[pangyham]

sorry to anyone who has to see this HAHAHA i think it's a little fun to ramble to.. a void i guess. i'm typing this under the assumption no one's gonna read it, let alone find it, so, sure, i'll talk!

on pangytine, my current and only instagram account, i sometimes get these spontaneous urges to post a huge a long overdue thank-you paragraph to my followers on my story. gratitude for indulging my artistic endeavors when i still had tangypine. i just never did it because.. well it's kinda.. cheesy... i had no idea how to deliver it in a way that didn't seem dramatic or "humble" because cmon, i'm not that relevant. It felt a bit weird addressing it because it just made it seem like i was this huge influencer who suddenly disappeared (and yes i know i was technically considered a big artist on both ig and twitter but.. it's not like i was unique; i think.. the state of Fandom and the art community these past few years makes accumulating thousands of followers a little less unattainable, and i was one of those artists. and my work is not phenomenal- i did not leave an impact on the art community. but these nuances will just have to be generalized for now because i think you all know what i mean) and so i couldn't help but laugh and cringe and think, "i am not this relevant-" because i really wasn't. why make a big deal out of it?

but i can't help it being a little dramatic though, because i still get emails from my followers asking where i am, and i get comments and messages on pangytine ("i finally found you!"), and i even get messages from my shop's contact form! a shop that i've abandoned for months! and my heart swells. I don't want to dismiss that; i think i will always be a sensitive, emotional person and so stuff like this just makes me overwhelmed. it's sweet, and it will never fail to make me a little bit nostalgic and thankful. I will always have a soft spot for tangypine and my time spent in the anime + genshin communities… i dunno.. people are just so kind and i'm thankful i've encountered a lot of them

i've been a lot less.. chronically online (LOL) that the thought of having 200k followers is completely foreign to me. i forget that i had a huge following, that people actually looked at my stuff. I dont mean for this to come across as modesty though because i'm just being honest, truly. but this just makes the occasional "where are you? i miss your art" hit a little harder 🥲 i mean, i was able to somehow sell my art through tangypine. i was able to do commissions.. had so many say they loved my art- of course a part of me misses that. i don't think i yearn for it, and knowing that makes me a little sad.

i genuinely am thankful for every kind comment people have left me, and every kind message. I think i'm just ultimately thankful i had a kind following. people are so nice! and that's what i wanted to say, that's all ive always wanted to say before i deleted my accounts. here it is

aha and again i dont really expect anyone to see this (except maybe a few handful just because my very first post here has a whopping 4 notes, me included, and that genuinely shocked me HAHAHA). perhaps i just find closure in publishing these particular thoughts somewhere, and here they are sorry this is cringe to the people who read it. my friend once told me i'm notorious for overexplaining. This is will be the only time i get to say this, so gah whatever. i don't think i can bring myself to post this lengthy ramble on my more public account on instagram

[incorrent-quotes]

hi!! ur account makes me so mf happy 🥹 all the quotes make so much sense. ive just gotten back into the rent brainrot after a few years of not listening and man idk why i stopped. my questions is what is your favorite, most human moment of the show to you? and when did you start loving the show? thanks!

Oh my thank you, this ask makes me so happy in turn!!🥹 I'm so glad you found your way back into Rent, it truly never leaves you❤️

I'm actually relatively new to Rent, though it's coming on 3 years soon, time flies! I first saw the movie in 2021 and it just stuck with me, I can't go a day without listening to some of Jonathan's music now lol.

As for my favorite moment, oh man, there are so many, but based on a convo I just had I'll go with "Will I" for several reasons. First I find the background of that song so touching, since Larson used to go to those meetings with his best friend who was positive and on one of them, someone said "You know, I keep wondering, will I lose my dignity?" and so he went and turned it into this beautiful song. Secondly it's the musical part, the way it keeps building is just so heavenly and touching even though the lyrics are so simple. Which brings me to the point that it always gets me that Mark joins in on only the second verse, willingly making himself one of them and feeling just as scared of what's going to happen. In the movie the cinematography makes it even better, since he actually lowers his camera when Roger comes and when they exchange a look, you can actually see in real time how proud he is of his friend and how relieved that he's finally coming out of his shell❤️ It feels like a deciding moment for both of them, Roger is at last willing to confront his illness and Mark seems to let himself feel the weight of their situation for once. So the combination of all of these, plus the fact that those characters are named after real people just does it for me.

Gosh this is such a long answer but thanks so much for the ask, I'm always down to chat about Rent!!❤️❤️

[starkissedblade]

just me talking about what’s on my mind lol

i obsessively watch edits and listen to little tiktok sound bites bro 😭 like before tiktok i was a years long veteran of trawling through amvs and edits on youtube and i rarely found a lot of what i liked and then i got tiktok and have been in an enlightened state ever since 😭 penny pinching vs a money spread with only 100s 😭 this can’t go bro i can’t go back to only seeing a couple good/mid edits a month 😭 ik the world has changed so i bet i Could find more Now because editing is a lot more popular and widespread but tt is just so convenient it gives me exactly what i want😒 i deleted my 2 spam ig accounts recently, i just have my main that im hardly ever on. it’s my only point of contact for a lot of people, i think i might just do a close friends story and ask who wants my number because i just want to delete it, even though ive had it since 2017. i haven’t had facebook in years, but i did that when you couldn’t actually delete it, only like deactivate it? idk if that’s still the case, but i don’t feel like trying to login again after 5 years.

i constantly think/daydream of a make believe life and it’s gotten to the point where i just feel this yearning build up and up and i can only bloodlet it by whispering what i want out loud and it really does feel good, a lot better than having it spin in my head and nothing else. none of these things can or will happen

i used to be on here all the time but ive just lost interest in certain parts of life and ik that’s not good but i just don’t have a lust for life in ways that i used to & i don’t think it’s going to change anytime soon. i still come on here a few minutes almost every day but this kind of nihilism is just there bro 😭😿

[castlebyersafterdark]

But it's fascinating looking at what he decides to post and share. Because sometimes I think... why do that? I look and it makes me happy but I wonder, why these moments?

wahhhh the thoughts in THIS post are soooooo up my street! only today i was tempted to post something recreational on social media for the first time in years (i only use it sporadically for my work) and i had a little talk with myself about exactly what you asked: who is it for?

this is a question i ask myself about so many things in my life, from what i wear today to what i want to do with my whole life. its a great question! a good psychology question.

ive also had people i love say its nice to see what i chose to post on insta back when i did (mainly in covid times), theyre seeing through my mind and wondering, just like you are about your fiance, vinny (🥳). i always find it interesting when you can see some artistic influence in their posts, if they dont sound like the person you know irl.

and honestly, today, it was a feeling of WOW this is a beautiful day and beautiful pic, and i want to cement it somehow by putting it online. its almost like the act of sharing is addictive, even though i never felt that great when i noticed the views ticking up or even the comments. lets face it, most social media comments are boring af. i much prefer long form chats with friends, and on here lol! i didnt post it in the end. what would it have been for?

so let's swing this back to our boy noah. i am not someone who ever posted thirst traps or even pics of my face, i just always think it's got an 'I'd like validation please' vibe that makes me cringe. but many do post themselves! and noah is a public figure. his face and personage is his brand, so if he wants a presence and maybe more modelling gigs, posting his face is a good idea. but i do also think the boy has a little vain streak that someone like finn, for example, doesn't. no shade because its always connected to deeper stuff - possibly insecurity, very human, very valid! to me, noah's possible insecurity manifests as a need for the attention. whereas finn's manifests as avoiding attention. so this year, noah leaving sm has been a great change and growth for him - can i live without this?

and likewise finn has been leaving his comfort zone by diving into things (like modelling and perfume ads) that clearly feel fish out of water for him. theyre both fascinating.

so i looked at that finn acc noah followed, and it seems to be one of the more lowkey ones - it doesnt have an obvious searchable username like FINN WOLFHARD FANS or something lol. its niche. so thats... yeah. haaaaaaaaa. and its also fan engagement rather than posts of finn's professional photoshoots and stuff, so noah clearly appreciates the Real Finn. 🤭 but theres also pics of finn with other friends and castmates a lot. so it almost seems like the equivalent of scrolling a crush's FB wall, seeing what theyre up to without you. cos finn doesnt have an acc where he posts his life, does he? and we all know there's like zero pics of noah and finn hanging out together lol. so noah won't be spying pics of him and finn together. maybe his camera roll is already full of that 🤭 but otherwise, smells like doomscrolling. oh boyo :(

once again i cannot stop rambling.

Getting to this one finally!!!

It is very worthwhile pausing and re-evaluating what we share and why - all good points and insight. Social media is a good tool for showcasing work if you have a talent or field that benefits from a visual - I sometimes miss having an art account that was public, but I think I also like keeping it as something private for those close to me until maybe one day I change my mind and decide to do something with it. I go back and forth and right now I sit with keeping my hobby a hobby, no temptation to make it more than it is. I really kinda simplified my life in the last few years if that makes sense? Choosing when and what to share publicly has been a big challenge but something centering as well. Different needs for different people!

The act of sharing IS addictive, and I can admit that about this blog in general. Me at the beginning, eating all my words, "I don't want to make it too personal, but..." and here I am now, sharing so much. It was a discomfort with the fandom, though, and not knowing what this corner would be like, and the jarring nature of having people actually send me messages where before - it was kind of isolated on this site and when I sought online interaction, it was always a bit hostile on places like twitter or reddit. This ended up being so so different. Every day, entirely unexpected.

Swinging over to the boys! Funny, I was someone who in the past posted for attention. I'll say it! Thirst traps and all the cringey like, part of why I won't share myself online anymore - if my friends share candids on private accounts, totally fine. But having my life hyper documented, by my own hand, just really freaked me out at one point. All done with that. So it's interesting being a big fan of celebrities where we hang on the edge waiting for a glimpse, and I do!! I totally do! Being a public figure for sure - that's kind of necessary to a degree. And a little vanity is ok - can go overboard. Balance. Sharing things, keeping other things personal. "Can I live without this?" That's everything. Healthy.

Think you're right about the fan account, there's an angle there I hadn't considered. Because let's say there is/was something there with him either crushing or wanting to enjoy looking at his guy - where else is he going to look up a bunch of photos of him? Google isn't personal. There's a fan-curated space with everything good all in one spot. Crush scrolling. Relatable. So human. But with the privilege of having your famous crush also crushed on by many so they do the work gathering info for you hahaha

Love to ramble, no one here should ever apologize for rambling!!! I am the crown prince of rambling ceaselessly hahahaha

[manchesterau]

Hey so I know you lost interest in the 1d/larry fandom and were lucky enough to have another interest to jump right into, but any advice for someone who is pretty miserable in that fandom but can't seem to sever the ties completely yet? It's just been years of my life you know? And it feels like such a waste to just up and leave. Idk, also I know this is a me issue but I don't really vibe with the people that Harry and Louis turned out to be. At least publicly. I'm a big ball of sad and would love some guidance if you're up for it.

hello anon! let me just say i completely understand the way you feel, 1d has been apart of my life since 2012 and the fandom is something that i always thought i would be apart of.

im sorry that you’re feeling sad about moving on, but i still say that no matter what 1d will always be apart of your life! 1d will always be apart of my life, especially because of the different friends it's brought me when i really needed a community to fit in when i was younger. all my friends i met through 1d i still consider my friends, i still talk to them! you don't have to leave them behind even if you don't share the same interest anymore! and the music is still there! i will ALWAYS love their music and i will always listen to it.

also you don't have to see it as a waste to just leave because it hasn't been a waste! in my head i think that it served it's purpose up to this point of my life and that it's just time for me to move on to things that really make me happy now. also you dont have to deleted your blog/erase all my 1d stuff from your life it can still be there! i still get notifications on here that ppl are reblogging my 1d gifs and it brings me joy to see it!

i know ive said this a few times but it took my 4 years of feeling miserable in this fandom for me to finally leave so it hasn't been an all around quick process either! i was still making content, i was quick to gif whenever one of them did something. i was still making gifs of them towards the end of the year! i did get really lucky that dan and phil started uploading around the time i was thinking about leaving so i did have something to jump into right away, and it's completely okay if you don't! and again i just want to say it's not been a waste!!!! it's just you growing up and moving on and that's okay!

to your last point...the biggest reason why i decided to leave is their complete silence on the genocide happening in palestine, and i realized speaking up was more important to me than anything and the fact that they haven't and don't seem to care even though louis has the anarchy symbol tattooed on him (lol) and harry seems to only attach himself to causes either after he's been pushed (blm) or things that are deemed safe politics (gun control in america) and yet still won't say anything about palestine when he has zionst allegations (which i know are old)...i don't know, all i can hope is that they've educated themselves but im just not putting all my eggs in their basket anymore. i don't know who these men are and im just fine watching them do whatever from the sidelines.

ive stopped feeling disappointing and upset at what they do because i realized i don't want them to be the be all and end all to my happiness on any given day

i hope that this was at least somewhat coherent enough and dont be afraid to message me or send another anon!!! i hope your journey of leaving 1d behind goes smoothly for you!!! also do some little things like stop following their update accounts and turn off notifications for them on twitter/ig! i stopped following their update accounts on here and on twitter + i still follow them all but i havent had their notifications on in about 3 years!

[imelht]

I am curious, and I apologize if someone has asked this already, but do any of Meta's friends ever offer to be blood donors if he's ever short or can't get his hands on a blood bag? Had anyone ever had to actually do that? :0

You’re good! Nobody’s asked me this before and even if they did, I’d be happy to answer it again!!

I don’t know if you also see Meta to be this way, but he has few friends, but they are also really good friends. Hes told his little group of four (including Kirby) the secret. (My AU doesn’t only contain Kirby characters, but also characters from the Mario or Pokémon series!) (Which can be confusing but it’s an AU that requires the characters to coexist in one place. (That being New Donk City.) His group of friends are Bowser, Yoshi, King Dedede and himself, (which is why you might see them in other posts…) (I’m also terribly sorry that this may not make sense because I am very new to Tumblr, despite this AU existing for about three or four years now…) (I need to post a little more about it and also find the time to post my ongoing fanfic to A03.) (I just haven’t the time yet to make an account or continue working on it since Ive been kinda busy the last few weeks…)

Anyways! Back to the topic! Meta Knight’s close group of four all know his secret, and they trust him enough to allow him to feed on them if ever necessary. (Especially King Dedede, I ship em’ lol, it’s in my blog’s name!!) Though, it’s only by the way he acts they allow him their blood. If he wasn’t so howdoisayit… kind? Gentle? No, good hearted! (Not that the other two don’t apply ;) Then his friends would have had a lot of a harder time trusting him with their blood. Though his morals too, he swears never to kill since it’s against his knightly code, and they know that soooo, yeah!

Now for trying, yes, but only King Dedede and Bowser have ever given their blood up. (King Dedede gives a lot of the time, but since Bowser belongs to a draconic/dragon descendancy his blood imbues Meta with power.) (It’s a last resort.) Yoshi has either just never been present or never offered.

Thank you for reading and hope this helps!

[manonblaqkbeak]

Sugar, sugar

(genuinely hate coming up with titles lol)

this is just rowaelin being pining idiots, one of my fave tropes for day 11--delayed love confession

just a note, the lifestyle in this fic is more of a background note and doesnt really take centre stage in this fic. it’s one ive been tempted to write for a while tbh but didnt really get around to it until now

cw: very, very light smut (like barely non existent, but just in case), a lil bit of swearing

enjoy! :)

3k words (officially my longest fic, yay!)

Every thought in Aelin's mind was blank. She trudged through her apartment that she shared with Nehemia, absentmindedly kicking off her heels that Rowan purchased for her months ago. Then the light jacket she wore joined the shoes, the fabric was perfectly soft and perfect for the autumn chill.

It was yet another piece of item that Rowan purchased for her. A lot of the things she had know were thanks to Rowan, either from his own wallet or from the biweekly allowance he sent her—a generous allowance that was a thousand times better than her weekly paycheck from the bookstore she'd been working at since she turned twenty-two; her business degree had turned out to be useless and so she turned to the bookstore that had been her stable job for three years.

Aelin barely touched her weekly wage now, it was practically buried underneath the money the Rowan gave her.

Because Rowan Whitethorn, thirty-five and a successful CEO who was well known, was her sugar daddy. Had been now for fourteen months. But he was more than that, more than just a man that paid her to spend time with him. He respected her, was loyal to her, listened to her and responded with actual sentences instead of a word or two like other men she had dated. He was charming, didn't treat her like she was nothing but arm candy, and she knew him so well, as he knew her, and each fortnight she sometimes forgot their whole arrangement, but she was sharply reminded when she received the notification from her bank that the two and a half thousand dollars that Rowan sent her was now in her savings account.

When she agreed to their arrangement after several get-to-know you dates, Rowan had wanted to give her three and a half grand every week, and gods Aelin had been tempted because she had never had so much money in her life, but told him that it was far too much and negotiated.

Two and a half thousand was the lowest that Rowan was willing to go, and even though Aelin only knew him for two weeks at that point, she could tell that he would not budge, so she agreed to the amount.

The first time that money had landed in her account, Aelin had thought that maybe she had imagined the whole thing, but the money was a sharp reminder of what she know was—a sugar baby. Those words still didn't feel like they applied to her.

And he still spent money on her when they spent time together. Just last week he gifted her with diamond earrings in the shapes of roses with a necklace to match. She wore them tonight, not because he bought them for her but because she genuinely loved the pieces.

Needing something sweet—despite the fact she had only finished her chocolate hazelnut gelato twenty minutes ago—she dug through her fridge and found the brownies that Nehemia had baked the other day. She told herself that she would leave some for her long-time friend, but Aelin really doubted that would happen.

Aelin relished in the cold air of the fridge as she found the new can of whipped cream on the top shelf. The fridge was one of the first things she purchased with the money she was now being gifted with (and after that came a new washer and dryer, a dish-washing machine and television. Almost everything in her apartment was brand new now, the food were actual brands instead of the generic, tasteless shit. She had bras that fit her properly and were so damned comfortable that she forgot she was wearing them half the time).

The old fridge was a cheap hunk of junk that she and Nehemia purchased off Facebook marketplace for a hundred dollars, it barely kept things cold, but with expensive rent and bills and general life things, Nehemia and her couldn't afford anything better.

Which was how she ended up in this situation. Picking up more shifts barely gave them anything extra, because the economy right now in Terrasen was shit. Nehemia had made a joke about needing sugar daddies, and Aelin, knowing that Nehemia could never really do such a thing, had decided that maybe it was a good idea.

Nehemia had told Aelin that she was insane for pursuing such a thing, and that she had only been joking, but Aelin was not and that she could handle herself if things went wrong.

Nehemia had told her not to do anything, but Aelin was determined and started her search. It had taken a while to find a website that was genuine and didn't make her feel like she had to scrub her eyes out with bleach.

She created her page in private, because she not only was Nehemia against the idea, but so was Elide and Lysandra—she didn't dare tell Aedion what she was doing. Her cousin could be an overprotective pain in her ass at times, and Aelin was very well aware that if Aedion caught wind of what she was doing, he would have locked her up in her room without any type of device so she couldn't go forward with her plan.

She appreciated their concern, she did, but she was a consenting, tax-paying adult, and if she wanted to use her time to get paid spending time with a rich man, then Aelin was allowed to do exactly that.

It wasn't prostitution, she had looked it up, because it was the sugar babies that had the power and so that was how it went with her and Rowan.

Aelin didn't even have sex with Rowan until it was the sixth month anniversary of her and Rowan's...relationship (and gods, it was the best sex Aelin ever had. Rowan was a generous and completely unselfish lover).

He was the first one she came across on the site and almost drooled down herself when she saw his picture. Silver hair, pine-green eyes, a beautiful tattoo down the length of his left arm and tanned skin, he was stupidly attractive and only ten years old than her.

Aelin messaged him first only after being on the site for ten minutes, deciding that surely he was the best one and that she needn't bother to look at any other candidates.

They hit it off straight away, and after deciding on a restaurant to meet at, Aelin had informed Nehemia of the matter, which she was promptly met with question after question: why can't a thirty-four year old man find someone his own age? Is he one of those men that can't date a woman five minutes older than him because of some stupid made up reason? How do you know for certain that it's him in the picture? What if he's cat-fishing you? What if he's a freak, or a killer? What if he's just pretending to be rich to kidnap you? What if, what if, what if?

And so after a heated discussion, Nehemia had come along on her date-that-wasn't-really-a-date and sat a few tables away from her and Rowan, watching them—especially him—the entire time like a hawk.

Aelin had completely forgotten that her friend was there, so enraptured by Rowan and what he did and how he saw life.

It had been fourteen months of seeing Rowan and genuinely enjoying spending time with him and weeks ago, she realised that she wanted it to be something more. That she had come to care for him, not because of the money, but purely because it was Rowan and he made her feel seen and he wasn't afraid of her, because she had once been told by an ex that she could be too much and that he couldn't handle all her baggage.

Aelin wanted a life with him.

So Aelin told Rowan she loved him when he dropped her off tonight after their dinner and a movie date, telling him how she felt, and he had said thank you. He gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek and went home, leaving behind the pine-and-snow scent of him.

Aelin really wanted to find a hole to crawl into and die.

She was scarfing down her third brownie when Nehemia's bedroom door opened, her friend clad in an old matching pj set, her slippers shuffling across the tile.

“What happened? Are you okay?” her friend asked upon seeing Aelin's guttered look. Her dark brows furrowed. “Did that bastard hurt you? If he did, I'll—”

“He didn't do anything,” Aelin interrupted her friend. Taking the food, Aelin planted herself on the teal blue velvet sofa Rowan gave her for Yulemas last year, ignoring the scent of not just him, but of them both from when he came over after work just the other day with pizza and a DVD that she insisted that she watched because it was too good not to, when they forgot all about the movie as Rowan buried himself inside her, leaving hickeys all over her neck that she had to cover up with thick concealer.

Nehemia joined her on the couch, her friend momentarily forgetting for now that she had walked in on her and Rowan just moments after they finished, muttering under her breath in Eyllwe as she glared at them defiling the couch, and gave her a look that Aelin knew that Nehemia would listen to every word that came out from her.

And when Aelin was done recounting the story, all Nehemia could come up with was, “Oh.”

“Yes, 'oh,'. I've probably fucked up the whole thing. So don't be surprised if I call you on your lunch break tomorrow telling you he's broken things off.”

“Aelin, I don't think he will. I know that I'm not the biggest fan of your...situation—”

“I'm aware,” Aelin said, cutting her friend off. “You still won't let me buy you a new mattress, even though yours is hard as a brick and lumpy as hell. I've told you that you can pay me—”

“Aelin,” Nehemia said, “we're not talking about mattresses right now. As I was saying, I doubt he'll break things off because I've seen the way he looks at you. I still think he's too old for you, but he cares for you. You probably just caught him by surprise.”

“How does he look at me?” Aelin was observant, but sometimes when she was with Rowan, all her observation skills went out the window.

“Like he loves you,” Nehemia said, no hint of doubt in her voice.

Aelin sighed, her feelings slowly starting to crush her. “I guess I'll just have to take your word for it.”

Sighing once more, Aelin put the food back in the fridge, showered and went to bed, forgoing her usual night texting ritual with Rowan.

She really wasn't looking forward to tomorrow.

X X X X X X

Rowan couldn't concentrate, which wasn't a good thing, since his job dealt with having to concentrate all the time. But no matter what mind-focusing techniques he did, he couldn't stop thinking about Aelin.

Couldn't stop thinking about how she said she was in love with him. How her beautiful eyes had been sparkling when she said those words to him. And how the light in them dimmed when he said thank you and kissed her on the cheek, telling her that he would talk to her later. But he hadn't texted her, nor did she.

I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.

Thank you. He really couldn't believe that was what he said. Felt like an utter fool and a bastard as he realised he probably crushed her heart. Aelin didn't like being vulnerable, and she had been when she said those words and he had gone and fucked it all up.

Rowan loved Aelin, he did, but he truly wasn't prepared for those words. He loved how on the weekends they would be up at one am, baking chocolate goodies, dancing in the quiet kitchen, humming quietly to Aelin's classical music playlist, with her wearing not the nightgowns that he loved, but one of his old hoodies.

He didn't think that he would get along with her so well once they met, thinking that their online interactions were nothing but a fluke. He was moments away from deleting the profile because he didn't actually create it, but Fenrys had, his friend grumbling that he needed a girlfriend, with Rowan arguing that creating a profile on a sugar daddy site was not dating but probably the opposite, when Aelin messaged him.

His life-long friend didn't listen, much to Rowan's annoyance—but he didn't grab his phone out of his friends hand; Rowan blamed it on the several whiskys he had downed by that point.

Aelin bewitched him on that first meet up. She was intelligent as hell and funny, and creative and beautiful. He was aware of why she was on the date with him, but he didn't care, just as long as he got to see her again.

Fourteen months later and Rowan was still bewitched. He wanted to be with her on a permanent basis, but wasn't completely sure how to take that step.

Clearly, Aelin had taken that step for them, and Rowan was the worlds biggest moron.

I love you, Rowan. I'm in love with you.

Thank you.

Groaning, Rowan turned away from his computer and looked at the skyline, ignoring the buildings to instead watch the puffy clouds drift by.

Aelin loved watching the clouds, loved stargazing, loved questioning about the universe and what the skies held.

He never really paid any of that stuff attention, not until he met her.

Rowan didn't want to lose her, didn't want her to think that he was about to break up with her over this. He had to see her, so he grabbed his keys and wallet, told his secretary to hold his calls for the rest of the day, and went to visit Aelin.

X X X X X X

It had been an usually busy day for a Wednesday and Aelin was glad for her lunch break as she trudged up to the roof of the shopping centre. She wasn't really allowed up here, but she wanted some fresh air and to feel the sun against her skin as she sat down and dug into her lunch—fast food, unfortunately for her, because she was so frazzled from last night that she completely forgot about making a pack lunch.

Rowan hadn't called her, or texted her. Not even an email had been sent her way.

Aelin hated that she felt so damned mopey. She was an independent woman, but gods, even a good morning text would have been fine.

She finished her lunch, popping several mints into her mouth to get rid of the onion taste, when the roof door crashed open and a familiar hulking figure came into view.

He must have spoken to Elide to find her here.

Aelin's brow furrowed. “Rowan, what are you doing here?” Oh gods, surely he wasn't going to break up with her, she still had hours to go; there'd be no way she could work if she had tears in her eyes.

Taking her hands in his, Aelin stood up. She steeled herself against whatever he was going to say.

“I love you, Aelin. I'm in love with you, too,” Rowan said, his eyes soft and full of genuine love. Aelin's heart shot up into her throat. “I want a life with you. I want us to buy a home, one that has warmth and character, and a big garden. I want a dog. And kids too, if you want, I know that you've never mentioned it, but if you don't want any then that is completely fine. I want to support you in whatever endeavors you want to take, and if you ever want to go back to university, then I'll support you, or if you want to find a way to use your business degree, I'll help you with that, too. Whatever you want Aelin, I'll give it to you, as long as you're by my side, I'll be happy.”

Aelin was silent for so long that Rowan thought that maybe he shocked her into silence. But eventually, she smiled, one that was dazzling in its beauty that it took his breath away.

“You love me?”

“I do, Aelin, I love you.”

She kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

Rowan groaned at the amusement in her tone, in her eyes. “You're never going to let me live that down, are you?”

She smirked. “Definitely not. It'll be a nice story to tell our children...one day. For now, I think we should contend with being proper significant others.”

Rowan nodded, smiling. “I like the sound of that.”

“Good, because I need to get back to work, since I'm no longer accepting your allowances. I won't deny the use of your credit card, but other than that, you are no longer my sugar daddy.”

It was Rowan's turned to smirk, and it was the one that made her core clench. “How about I be 'daddy' instead?”

Aelin snorted, even as she clenched around nothing again. Smacking his arm lightly, Aelin kissed him. “Only if you behave,” she said against his lips, “and now I really need to go back to work.”

Rowan walked her back, their fingers laced together, and as she turned to say goodbye, Aelin said, “I'll see you later, daddy.”

Rowan groaned, and it took everything in him not to take her hand and into his car to have his wicked way with her.

By the time he thought of a response, Aelin was already back to work, helping a customer with an impressive stack of books in her arms.

But she knew he was still there, because the way she swayed her hips to the counter was all for him, and when she saw him watching her, Aelin winked, making Rowan's heart flutter in his chest.

He really did love her. And he would live with her teasing him for the rest of his life, just as long as she was with him.

[bakgos]

[ 🤪 ] what is your muse’s sense of humour like? are they known for being joking, or serious?

[ 🪁 ] does your muse have a special talent or hobby they devote themselves to? why is this talent or hobby important to them?

[ 🩰 ] is there a type of fashion your muse prefers, or do they not pay attention to their appearance at all? (and im adding on to this-- what does fashion mean to bakugou in the context of self expression? especially with his parents background in the industry?)

[ 👨‍🎤 ] would your muse define themselves as rebellious or by-the-book? what are they, actually?

@stigmatvm | HEADCANON MEMES INSPIRED BY THINGS I LIKE, PART 2. | accepting!

[ 🤪 ] what is your muse’s sense of humour like? are they known for being joking, or serious?

          bakugo is everyone’s favorite stick in the mud LOL. for someone so young , he’s basically hellbent on trying to prove that he’s better than the people around him & that includes acting more mature than them too ( even though all of his screaming & insults & behavior comes off more childish than anything ) , so he’s a pretty serious guy most of the time. he probably started acting like this around middle school , & especially after he was enrolled in yuuei , because now , reaching his dream of becoming a professional hero had a lot more clarity & promise. 

          despite that though , he’s still a seventeen year old boy. he still enjoys when he’s able to cut down the charade of being all business & can let loose a little more. it’s rare for him to act his age in public deliberately , but in the privacy of his home or his dorm , bakugo can actually kick up his heels & show that he’s just as capable of playing as he is working. his sense of humor is actually rather appropriate for a teenager : we can go back to the scene where camie made an illusion of todoroki to trick a young girl & bakugo mocked its words & behavior & then burst out laughing. there’s also the scene where bakugo set kaminari off & short circuited his brain after noticing how bummed out & upset his classmates were , in order to lighten the mood & get everyone laughing. 

          i also have a personal headcanon that ive shared with @pontevoix about bakugo actually using & enjoying tiktok & he has a secret tiktok of his own that only his family & a few select others know about ( until he does a face reveal accidentally & it all goes downhill from there ). he plays drums in his personal bathroom with a horse face mask on to hide his face & honestly , he might just die if someone from his classes found out about this account , but nobody would be able to say that he isn’t funny anymore. 

[ 🪁 ] does your muse have a special talent or hobby they devote themselves to? why is this talent or hobby important to them?

          annoyingly , bakugo is the kind of guy who’s good at just about everything he decides to pick up as a hobby or skill. he’s such a perfectionist that if he isn’t great at something new he tries , he’ll work on it until he is & that makes having hobbies that are simply for fun or enjoyment , a little bit hard to upkeep. if there’s anything , it would probably come down to mountain climbing & playing the drums. mountain climbing helps him to stay in shape & maintain his fitness even on weekends or when he can’t train for whatever reason ; plus , he thrives on the sense of self fulfillment when he reaches the top of a mountain or a huge rock & can overlook everything beneath him. it’s an arrogant sort of satisfaction that’ll simmer down as he gets older. 

          playing the drums however , is something a more for the fun of it than competition. he has no desire to make a career out of playing the drums , so his interest in building that skill has since depleted , especially once he was enrolled at yuuei. at this point , if he picks up his drum sticks , it’s to blow off steam , let loose or because he’s about to film a tiktok. it’s one of the more creative ways that bakugo gets to express himself & i think that sits well with him , because there aren’t many chances that come to him with an opening like that. 

[ 🩰 ] is there a type of fashion your muse prefers, or do they not pay attention to their appearance at all? (and im adding on to this-- what does fashion mean to bakugou in the context of self expression? especially with his parents background in the industry?)

          when he was a younger kid , bakugo didn’t have as much of an eye for fashion as people would have believed considering his parents professions. even now , fashion isn’t something he’s wholly interested in or puts energy into , but you won’t catch him with wild clothing choices or mix matched patterns or what have you. he does differentiate between clothes that are for lounging , clothes that are for going out , & clothes that are formal ; there is no mixing of these categories , because that shit aint cute. 

          he’s been called emo or goth by fellow peers because of his inclination towards the color black , but bakugo is far from either of these labels. black simply goes with everything & yeah , he’s an edgy , angsty son of gun , & he does have accessories like chains & things , but if anything , he’d probably be closer to being an e-boy than being emo or goth & even then , it’s still not completely true. he does don other , brighter colors & he knows how to match & accessorize & actually look fashion forward when he wants to be. ref 1 , ref 2 , ref 3 , ref 4 , ref 5 , ref 6.

          in relation to his parents work , bakugo hasn’t been conditioned to feel one way or the other about fashion. it’s just something that he’s been around all of his life , & decided on his own that it wasn’t something he wanted to pursue in the long run ; he’s always wanted to be a hero. that being said , he does appreciate what his parents do & likes the fact that he’s at least been taught that clothing can be used as a form of expression , especially as a kid who isn’t great at expressing himself through most means. additionally , since his parents focus is on outerwear & athletic wear more so than high society garb , bakugo isn’t made to suffer ( as much ) with the tribulations that come with the higher end fashion world. parties & galas still happen from time to time , but the bakugo family has never allowed that sort of lifestyle to tarnish the kind of attitudes they have towards the rest of the world. bakugo is proud to say that to anyone who claims otherwise. 

[ 👨‍🎤 ] would your muse define themselves as rebellious or by-the-book? what are they, actually?

          bakugo’s relationship with rules & authority is actually a little polarizing when you think about the amount of times he’s verbally disrespected or insulted his elders or his higher ups , but in the meantime , abides by things like a curfew , finishes all of the vegetables off of his plate ( even as a child ) , & ultimately listens when he’s told to do something ( even whilst yelling ‘ don’t tell me what to do! ‘ ). he’s rebellious in the way that he doesn’t give a damn about what people think of him & no matter what anyone says or tries to do , he’s never going to stop being who he is in order to appease someone else. 

          in that same breath , if you compare the life midoriya has led vs the life bakugo has led during their time enrolled in yuuei , midoriya has broken many more rules , even the law , & has gotten into much more trouble than bakugo has. bakugo will call you a bastard , a piece of shit , & an asshole all in the same scream , but he isn’t out here taking on villains unlicensed , unsupervised , & without a resource to his name. bakugo gets straight A’s in school and not a point less. he goes to bed no later than eight - thirty p.m. if he didn’t run his mouth so much & curbed that arrogant attitude of his , he may have actually been a model student & a model hero in training. but alas , that’s not the bakugo we know & love right?

[pinoy-culture]

before I ask my question, I just wanted to say thank you so so so much for keeping up your blog and consistently giving out information where its readily accessible!!!

maybe this will make me sound like an idiot but to preface, I’m a mixed filipino american. My mom is filipino and some chinese and my dad is some sort of european and puerto rican. i was wondering, in your opinion, do you think it’d be okay for me (eventually) work with diwata and anitos? And how can I start? Ive been trying to communicate with my ancestors and I’ve been looking for books to one day buy (im extremely broke so your blog and any filipino witches i come across is all the info i can get) but i honestly have no clue where to start other than with my ancestors (weird dreams lately but nothing ancestor related i think). i took a DNA test as a gift and it pointed, predominantly, to the Western Visayas so im assuming i should study more on pre-colonial Bisayan culture (my lolas from iloilo so it makes sense i guess) but i also know that “blood quantum” is a colonizer concept so i dont wanna rely on it too much :/ sorry to ramble but pls help lol

First, I'd like to say thank you for following the blog! It really does mean a lot to me to hear from others over the years on how much my blogs have helped them learn about our history and culture.

Now as for working with our diwata and the anito, that is completely ok. The whole blood quantum thing among some Filipinos I honestly don't agree with. As long as you have a family member who is Filipino, you are Filipino regardless of your "percentage" and of how you look. If you have Filipino blood in you, the ancestors are there with you. Even if you weren't raised within Filipino culture or a Filipino household because your parents never brought you up in it, or you are an adoptee like some I've met over the years. Your ancestors are your ancestors regardless. They see you and know you and that is all that matters.

Now there really isn't any book focused specifically on reviving our precolonial beliefs and practices. Yes, some did survive and some even blended in with a form of Folk Christianity in the Philippines. You can see many of the older practices and beliefs still alive, but they have been replaced with Catholic imagery and Saints.

But, in regards actually believing in and worshiping our old deities, doing rituals dedicated to the deity, or even some rites of passage like the Tagalog first menstruation rite of passage, or making carved figures dedicated to the diwata and anito, or performing maganito/paganito or atang to the diwata and anito, majority of Filipinos don't do this, or even know it.

So for being an Anito Reconstructionist, which is a label I personally use for my spiritual beliefs and others have adopted, there really isn't a book for it. A Reconstructionist in other ethnic spiritual paths, such as the Celtic, Roman, Aztec, Kemetic, Greek, Norse, etc., are those who look at historical records to try and piece together what was once practiced and believed in prior to Christianity. Over many years, these different spiritual paths have eventually come together, formed a community, and have resources like books and teachers. They have had the time to do all the research and put together a more formal spirituality based on those Pre-Christian beliefs and bringing it to the modern day where they have hundreds to thousands of people who have gone back to those beliefs. With some, they have even created temples, shrines to their deities, and even have celebrations.

Unfortunately that is not the case for us. However, due to the growing interest in our precolonial beliefs and practices over the years, I can see Anito Reconstructionism growing within the next several years. It already has, with many people actually trying to learn more about these beliefs and our old deities. The amount of people of people I've seen and talked to who have expressed their interest to reclaim these precolonial beliefs and practices is nothing compared to 10 years ago when it was hard to even find one or two people who did.

It is why I've been writing this book for a few years now dedicated to helping others in wanting to reclaim our precolonial beliefs and practices as a starting point in their research. For now though, I always recommend those who are starting to simply just read the historical texts. Grab a notebook and write down notes. Organize your notes into deities, rituals, how to make an offering, any prayers to a specific deity, how to set up an altar, etc.

Seeing as your family is from the island of Panay in the Western Bisayas, like my moms side are from, I would start with looking at the Bisayan precolonial beliefs and practices. A really good reference is reading Francisco Alcina's History of the Bisayans (1668). Volume 3 is available online in English which you can find here. Volume 3 goes into a lot of detail in the beliefs and practices. The Boxer Codex, if you are able to get a copy of the English translation, is also really good reading material.

Getting Started:

In terms of getting started, keep in mind that there is no one monolithic belief system or practice in the Philippines. Before there ever was a Philippines, we were different nations with different beliefs and practices. It is important to know your ethnic groups beliefs and practices and know their history. For example, I am Bisaya (Akeanon specifically) and Tagalog and that is what I work with. Others who I know follow the Bikolano, Kapampangan, or Ilokano beliefs. Though there are some similarities, each ethnic group had their own set beliefs and practices.

I often tell people that you can't just mix and match between them. For example, though I work with both the Tagalog and Bisayan pantheons, I wouldn't dare do a ritual offering to both a Tagalog or Bisayan deity at the same time. It's always separate. You also can't combine 2 similar deities together from different ethnic groups just because they share similar attributes. It's just rude and disrespectful.

Start out small. Set up an altar dedicated to your ancestors. If you have any family members who have passed, put a photo of them on the altar. Leave offerings of rice cakes such as suman, food like chicken adobo, or even a cup of drink such as tuba, lambanog, or even Red Horse beer. But if you can't get access to an alcoholic drink either because one you are a minor or 2 it's not available where you live, you can simply replace it with a non-alcoholic drinks like coconut juice. Get a coconut shell or a seashell to either place these offerings as bowls/plates or even use them to put your kamangyan or incense.

Then start researching how our Bisayan ancestors worshiped and practiced. Study the history and read historical accounts, books, and articles about them. Write down what you have learned on these precolonial beliefs and practices and reconstruct or revive them. This is what Polytheistic Recinstructionists do. I have listed links to these texts here.

Ask questions to your family, particularly your elders. See if they know of anything or if they can share some traditional practices and beliefs they know of have heard of. You would be surprised how, despite some families being really religious, many still believe in the spirits, do some form of ancestor veneration, believe in omens that are being told to you by the ancestors or spirits, etc.

If you can, try to go back to the Philippines and see your family's ancestral home, see where they grew up, etc. Ask about family stories and folk stories. For example, my mom grew up in Aklan and has always told me stories of the aswang and certain omens. She also constantly talks about the mischievous "little people" who play tricks on you (for example putting something down like your keys and then it goes missing, until you find it again somewhere else). In the Western Bisayas, they are known as kama-kama. There is also a story of how her grandmother's cat visited her during her wake. The cat was missing for years, but it came back and stayed sleeping on top of the casket for days before it left. My mom told me that it was the cat paying their respects to her grandmother.

Keep in mind also and acknowledge our indigenous communities who have kept their beliefs and practices. Don't try to take them into your own. I have seen people cherry pick things from the Manobo of Mindanao or the Kalinga in the Cordillera, which is just disrespectful. Many of the IP, though some still have kept their beliefs, it isn't the most important aspect to them. What they are most concerned about are other issues such as losing their homes due to occupation by oil or logging companies, other settlers such as the Tagalog and Bisayans (especially in Mindanao), getting targeted as "rebels" by the Philippine military and often getting killed. But, by cherry picking beliefs especially of the IP groups, it's just disrespectful.

I will be teaching classes on Anito Reconstructionism soon and will have my first class possibly at the end of the month or next month. I decided to do these classes seeing as there is a growing community who are interested, but don't know where to start. I'll be doing a proper announcement on these classes real soon so look out for the announcement and hopefully you will be able to join!

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

How did you get round to doing all this research? Maybe it's the peer pressure but I'm around your age and I'm kinda jealous how you're so knowledgeable about a 60 year old band in like, our grandparents' day lol. But I'm impressed! Keep it up ❤️

Firstly, thank you! I had a very shitty night at work last night so when I came home and saw this message it cheered me up a bit <3 Honoured that you think im knowledgeable on them!

Onto the actual question though - ive always loved the Beatles (I used to watch Yellow Submarine every week when I was about 5 or 6 or so) and I would consider them my first favourite band! But it was only at the start of this year during lockdown that I started heavily reading into them; no idea why, just suddenly became obsessed. For the first few months though, I remember I didn’t actually have much of an opinion because I just didn’t know what to make of the history - but once I started participating in discussions and stuff, that prompted me to garner more of an assured perception.

The tips and advice I would give (other then neglecting school work) are:

1. I Read A Lot!

I just tend to read a lot of books in general, and so once I became captivated with the bugs, my first instinct was to buy a book on them - so I bought Phillip Normans book on John Lennon because id heard good reviews, and then it all just spiralled from there and now ive read about 7 different books on them this year (and ive got tons more that I want to get to!). Reading different books and essays on them is a great way to get a nuanced and reasonable perspective on them, albeit an imperfect way of navigating their historiography, because naturally every biographer will be biased in some sense.

A lot of people post quotes and sections from various books and essays onto this website, so if reading isn’t really your thing or you don’t have the time etc. you can still often find the important bits on here! But personally, reading Bealtes books is sort of like comfort food to me, so I typically have one on the go.

2. Tumblr & Forums

Part of my love for the Beatles I think has been perpetuated by having this position in an online community. There are other websites in which people discuss the Beatles, and ill occasionally use them (like ill check out reddit every once in a while), but overall, I just find the Tumblr community to be the most open to actual discussion, especially if it differs from the "established" Beatles narrative presented by biographers and documentary makers etc. for the past 50+ years.

Beatles fans using sites and forums like Reddit I feel are more focussed on the bugs actual music - which is fine of course, but im not so interested in discussing that, because for the most part I like to talk about their actual characters rather then their artistry. Also from my experience in interacting with people through those sites, people are quite closed-minded when it comes to drifting from the consensus. Whereas with the Tumblr community, it feels a lot more like an actual community. Like different users have their own sense of personality and their own opinions, and I just feel like we all tend to be pretty friendly here, or at the very least, tend to be respectful. People on Tumblr also seem to be a lot more open-minded to discussing less comfortable topics rather then immediately shutting down the conversation because it doesn’t fit within the “official” Beatles narrative.

Finding accounts who you would deem trusty and then sending them questions I find is also a good way to get some perspective. If im not sure what I make of situation concerning the Beatles, sometimes ill send users who I find to be quite perceptive an ask, and get their view on the subject; I might disagree with them in the end, but its still a good way to get some perspective. Also adding to or even starting discussions is another way of getting some info!

3. Second hand stories

I don't know that many people who are as into the Beatles as I am (because, shockingly, 17 year olds dont tend to obsess over bands that broke up 50 years ago 😳) but if I meet someone who does like them, sometimes ill pick up some new stories id never heard before in books or on Tumblr. Like a couple months ago my Dad told me about the time Paul McCartney drunkenly started taking the piss out of David Blaine (x), and I thought it was so funny and bizarre, I was surprised no one on Tumblr had ever mentioned it. So if you come across a bug fan, you might be able to weasel from them a couple stories you've never heard before!

4. Documentaries & Podcasts

I haven't actually watched/listened to that many Beatles related documentaries or podcasts so far, but going off of what ive seen id recommend:

Lennon/McCartney documentary on youtube

The "One Sweet Dream" and "Another Kind Of Mind" podcasts

Ive been watching the docu-series called "1971: The Year That Music Changed Everything" recently, and I think its fab! Its not solely focussed on the Beatles, but they are discussed a lot, as well as dozens of other great musicians from the era, and other wider contexts.

This (x) podcast episode on the psychology of John Lennon

5. Interviews

Not a lot to say here, just that finding interviews of them (or people who have known them) can of course be very insightful :)

6. Find The Topics that interest you

One way that I go about researching them is that I seek out essays or forums focussing tightly on topics that I am interested in. I know that my main focuses (at least for the time being) tend to be related to the interpersonal relationship between John and Paul, and their psychology’s and upbringings etc. So for example, I might actively search for information on John and his possible ED or Pauls parents etc. In comparison, whilst I obviously still love George and Ringo, I know that they just don’t interest me quite so much, so I just don’t tend to seek out information on them.

Figure out which topics resonate with you personally, and seek out information and discussions specifically regarding them!

[ice-emperor-zane]

*inhales* Yellow cyan violet black gray claret penny ash jade pecan wine cherry ginger rust honey frost coconut fulvous mauve erin

Sorry not sorry I’m a curious simp

Oki, wow, this is a lot, aight lets do this lmao :)

Yellow: Name of an artist you think is underappreciated

oh god idk, hmm, @bigeloo? Idk im in a ninjago discord with them and sometimes they send their art there and its really cool

Cyan: Are you Religious? Spiritual?

I was raised Catholic but im now Agnostic (meaning I don’t know if theres a God or any Gods and im not gonna pretend to know)

Violet: Are you a part of the Lgbt+ community?

Yup :) Im nonbinary, im asexual, and i might be panromantic, or demiromamtic, im not sure, still questioning on that part tbh

Black: Would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan?

Im currently vegetarian, tho I dont care if yall eat meat or whatever, im lucky to be in a situation where I can be vegetarian and I completely understand that some ppl can’t or just don’t want to, besides, theres way bigger problems on this earth right now than wether people eat meat or not. I doubt i’ll ever go vegan, because cheese and chocolate is very tasty, but maybe someday when the vegan substitutes for those things improve, then maybe I might :)

Gray: How many Languages Do you speak? Do you want to learn more?

Mostly English, and very minimal French and Spanish from school. I’ve tried to learn Japanese before too from like duolingo, so i know a little bit of that, and I made myself memorise how to say ‘sorry, I don’t speak much of [insert language], do you speak English?’ in a few languages for if I ever end up traveling there before learning to speak the language. But im only really like fluent in English lol

Claret: Do you play an instrument? do you want to learn to play any?

I did piano lessons for about a year until quarantine and I’ve learnt a few songs from those youtube tutorials, but other than that I dont know any. It would be cool to do singing lessons, because unfortunately I am a little bit of a theatre kid and would love to randomly start singing ‘Michael in the bathroom’ from Be More Chill

Penny: Icecream or cake?

Both are poggers, probably icecream, but oh my fsm, my Mom makes the best cakes ever, she could do it professionally, they are so nice, yall have no idea

Ash: Can you do your own makeup?

Yeah, i love doing makeup, i once tried to have a makeup instagram account, it didnt go too well (i quit after about a month) but i still love doing it as a hobby :) (im actually trying to do makeup less at the moment though, it was making me a little bit dysphoric, but as an occasional thing, like being a drag queen, its great!)

Jade: Ever written fanfiction?

Yeah, mostly just one shots and little drabbles though, and I haven’t in a while, might start doing stuff again soon, maybe, idk

Pecan: Shuffle your playlist, what’s the first song that comes up

It was this: https://youtu.be/DGTDcZxs0ww (“Sub Urban- Cradles (slowed)”)

Wine: do you have a ‘type’?

Kinda debatable,, most/all the people I’ve dated have had similar vibes, but wether I actually liked any of them is a different question 😳😳😳

Cherry: youtubers you enjoy watching

Maybe Jessie Paege? Or Pm Seymour? To be honest, most of my youtube recommendations are somehow tiktok compilations, because my tiktok fyp has always been really weird so instead of actually using tiktok on the app i use it via youtube

Ginger: any sideblogs?

yeah and im embarrassed of them, yall will never know 😳

wait theres one yall can know about, i have the url “Wohira” but I’ve never like posted anything there

Rust: form of art you enjoy doing?

As well as makeup which i mentioned before, theres also digital art, which i do the most often :)

Honey: your thoughts on magic? Does it exist?

I think it’d be very cool if it did, and i hope it does? Like ive never seen magic stuff ofc, and i have my doubts that its real, but it sounds fun so like idk, maybe it is? I’d like to believe it is?

Frost: a -core you enjoy

Looking at the aesthetics wiki, i think maybe mostly bloomcore?

Coconut: a subject you enjoy learning about

Psychology, its all really interesting and i wish they taught it at my school, because where I am you have to take it as an option that only starts in 11th grade (currently in 9th grade)

Fulvous: another name you think would suit you?

Buddy im still trying to find one, im currently going by Rae and that seems nice maybe? but oh my god ive used like 20 names before now and not a single one of them seemed right lmao

Mauve: any unpopular oppinions?

I probably have a few, but i can’t think of them off the top of my head, and im not really looking for discourse,, so,,, no?

Erin: What Was/Is your best school subject

Ive already answered this one, i’ll copy/paste it? Oki so

Maybe maths? Or art? Tho honestly, none of my grades are consistent and I can go from an A to an Ungraded and back again in a heartbeat 😎 (and not even an F, an ungraded, like they litterally cant grade it its so bad lmao 🤩✨) I think it depends more on what teacher i have for the lesson and how tired I am on the day of any tests more than subject itself? If that makes sense lol

And its done! Heck yeah! :)

[clumsyclifford]

u know what. i will give u all the lore u want. i’m 18, will be 19 decently soon so we are close to the same age. also the other band was r5. i have sent u asks about them and tde in the past. i followed you for atl content and got whiplash when u started posting about the first band i ever loved. i was like 10 when their first album dropped i have been around for entirely too long. i had a wattpad account and wrote r5 fanfic from the tender age of like 11-13. i discovered 5sos i don’t even remember how but i think the funniest part about it is that i never really got into their music?? i got into them as people by watching like interviews and compilations. and i mean at this point that was a While ago. SPEAKING OF FANFIC i did that like ao3 year in review thing like a month ago??? and you were my top author of the year so far. i read a lot of fic on ao3. your fics are very lovely and some of my favs. moving on. will not lie my music taste is kinda embarrassing and has barely changed since i was like 14 lmfao. been listening to a lot of waterparks lately. have been since their album dropped in may. i essentially go through phases of listening to solely one artist. or one playlist i made. most recently my taste has consisted of a lot of all time low, waterparks, paramore + hayley’s solo music (it really had to grow on me BUT now that it has it is very good), also been on a nostalgic r5 kick as well. hot take it has been quite difficult for me to get into tde’s music and i don’t really know why. some songs i absolutely adore (omg plz don’t come around is my fav by them. also scared of heights, feel you now, welcome to the end of your life are top songs too) but others i’m just. i have never liked preacher man and it’s the first song they released after they rebranded in like 2017. i love to see them finally free to do what they love music-wise but some of it is just. hard to listen to. i’m supposed to see them live in november (like 4 days before my birthday, kinda cool) and it’s the second time the show has been rescheduled so hopefully it happens. i’ve seen them live before but not since they rebranded. they’re dropping an album in october that i will have like a month to learn so it better be a fucking banger. now i’m just rambling about tde because i love ross and rocky with my entire being. rydel is annoying these days tho. also she named her baby fucking SUPER what kind of name is that why would you do that to a child. anyways. you ever need useless random r5 lore, i’m the person to ask. it’s the effect of being around to like a band for like 8 years. in conclusion my music taste? terrible. a cluster fuck. i will listen to luke’s solo album next time i’m focusing on a task because i like listening to new music when i’m concentrating on something. there’s some other bella lore for the day. - other bella

OH ALSO yeah idk. i’m currently on mobile. when i looked at your blog on mobile the first time last night it was blue. but now it’s pink. i have yet to see it on desktop but when i do i am sure it will be equally as pretty. - other bella again

hell YES some other bella lore. let's dig in

oooooh how soon? whens your birthday? 👀👀👀

ahhh yes i do remember the r5 asks !!!! that was a fun little era of clumsyclifford content huh. dont worry i wrote 1d fic on wattpad from ages 11-13 as well sooo same hat. that is super funny tho actually that you never bothered to listen to their music u really were staying loyal to r5 good for you

ao3 year in review???????????? say more?????? what is this?????????? thats very flattering regardless omg im going to ask you what your favorites are because im a leo just kidding its because i crave validation and im curious what ones you read/have read. also thank you for reading my fics lol

oh yeah theres a new parx album!! i dont listen actively to them but i really like all the parx music i know. im scared to get really into them because im genuinely afraid to fall in love with awsten knight. like im not joking thats the reason. i have to listen to more of their music tho cos i really enjoy what i know so...if you have recs...👀 i'm listening

mm thats a good lineup of music to listen to!! paramore is another band i never got super into, i meant to and then i listened to all of riot and then i learned that hayley williams is like pretty christian and that a few paramore songs are more christian than i anticipated and now i'm like. on the fence about it all. but i wanna listen to after laughter i just havent gotten around to it yet. and i did like riot. i like paramore. i like dead horse by hayley, i didnt like the other single she released, and i didnt listen to her solo music because i didnt like the first single so im not sure if i would actually like it? i am accepting vibe checks in that category though i dont really know what kinda music it is. actually now that im thinking about it doesnt she have two albums now???? i feel like the answer is yes. anyway. moving on

that is very fair the thing abt the tde stuff is that it's all so interesting and so different from every other tde song like they really just do something unique in each song which i think is awesome but also makes it hard to like every song bc it's not like one universal vibe you kinda have to decide for each song if you're enjoying it or not. i do LOVEEEE tde though, im very jealous that you're seeing them perform. although i dont know why im not, just looked it up and theyre gonna be in new york on november 24th which is a sunday so i miiiight.....be able to go.......maybe...........their website says the 25th which is a monday so maybe i was under the impression the show was on a monday?? but the ticket site says sunday. 👀 we will just...have to see......what we see.............

ANYWAY

RIGHT im so excited for their album i was mistakenly thinking it was coming out the same night as luke's but it was just the new single which i really liked on a first listen but have to listen to again cos ive only heard it the one time. but i hope it fucks. they announced that the album is called girlfriend which personally i think is really fun so i have high hopes

SHE NAMED HER CHILD FUCKIN WHAT NOW???????????????

wait eight years thats a long time but also thats roughly how long ive been around 1d wtf........insane. madness. and in fairness probably roughly how long ive been around 5sos but i took a hiatus from both of those bands during high school so im not sure how much i can count all of those years. ive been around all time low for six years though, that's pretty good. anywayyyy i hope you like luke's album but no pressure man listen whenever you feel like it. LOVE YOU

[roguestarsailor]

One Day In December is such a good novel. I can’t believe I read the scorpio book recommendation and picked this up; whoever the astrologer person from the library is they really hit the mark. My god im literally sobbing. This is so goood!

Laurie and Jack have the most ordinary and mundane yet antsy and frustrating love story ever. I mean, this is a romcom so obviously they’ll end up together but the book spends like +300 pages making it seem impossible for that to happen! So many life moments that really shove them together but also tear them apart. So much unspoken tension!! So much unspoken truths!! so much to lose!! But as it near the ending and they’re both really figuring out their lives instead of finding distractions, or brushing aside feelings and red flags, and BOOM right in the feels. ahhh, i’ve never teared up for a love story before but I did for this! wow!!

“Might as well,” I grumbled. “My love life is official dead.”

Sarah screws up her finished-with fish-and-chip paper. “You’ve only got yourself to blame,” she says.

She’s referring to bus boy, of course. He’s reached near-mythical status now, and I’m on the very edge of giving up on him. Ten months is a long time to look for a complete stranger on the off-chance that they’ll be single, into me, and not an axe murderer. Sarah is of the vocal opinion that I need to move on, by which she means I need to find someone else before I turn into a nun. I know she’s right, but my heart isn’t ready to let him go yet. That feeling when we locked eyes--I’ve never had that before, ever.

i dog-eared this page because this is meeeeeeeeeeeee. not that ive ever had a love at first sight sighting in my entire life (but no one is gonna stop me from not making eye contact on public transport and hoping for the best!!). i love that Laurie is just as wistful; makes me feel better about myself (and makes me foolishly hopeful!!!) lol.

*spoilers*

Anyways, the time passage through this book was speedy; literally years pass as we read on. I was so anxious because its like long stretches of time passes and it literally takes years for them to officially get together. This is very different than other romcom books I’ve read since those generally is more quick to lead to the happy ending. And I guess it’s true. Love develops over time and at the same time, the time needed to *try* to get over someone but also figure yourself out as you age through your twenties. It’s never constantly spending time with someone either; its long stretches of time away from each other too. Most of the things that happen are really really mundane. It’s not grand, its not dramatic and its very quiet. Nobody makes quick decisions here and it’s so drawn out. 

It’s like how working at a job you hate can just escape you and you end up staying for too long. This book covers both the career stalemate and the love portion--staying in a relationship because you’ve built it and its actively choosing to keep it going even though it obvious not going to last. Even when Sarah and Laurie have their fall out, a good distance between time passes and I think that’s very normal. Even when they reunite again, its quiet and just casual and they slowly work back up to being the bestest friends again. Laurie and Jack relationship’s was actively trying not to engage with one another and it really showed--but its not completely radio silence nor intense heated moments. It’s fleeting because they both recognize that if they got together they would hurt Sarah, and then eventually Oscar and probably themselves the mostly. It’s watching them seeing the other person be with someone else or moving through life at a different speed and feeling like they’re too late and then having their paths diverge even more and then connecting at realizing the feelings are still here, and then diverging again and coming again. Their relationship is the definition of missed opportunities!!! But I think this is the most accurate account of adult relationships I’ve ever read so far and its really refreshing.

^ my literal face as i read the last few pages

*personal thoughts*

This gave me a really good insight into the world of dating and relationships and love. I am so used to reading these big grand things happening that the universe allow these two people to meet and create this magic. There’s the hurdles to jump through but they get through in the end and its implied that because they have the biggest element, which is love, means that they will be ok. They might have friends who root for them, they have little mice and birds to help them, so many elements in a typical romcom universe that pushes these two together. But this book was different.

As Jack dates Sarah, we know they don’t fit well but they stick it out. They actively try to date and get to know each other so they spend months to years dating. And its not that Jack only thinks about Laurie but rather its always in the background. Laurie tried to stay out of the way and Jack does the same. It’s wild to think that someone you have an almost instant connection with might not actually be what you want and you have to actively see the reality of the situation and actively live your life. To figure out if what you have with that person can technically work--makes it clear that a relationship IS work. It’s not passionate and fire! it’s very small, its texting every day and slowly giving a piece of yourself to this person. And its inconvenient as hell!!! Even Laurie being with Oscar, and actually getting married and trying to make married life work for them was mundane and average. There was no point where there was a dramatic STOP THE WEDDING, or like screaming “I Love You’s” and such for Laurie and Jack. Nobody was the bad guy and did the bad thing that made people realize that they don’t belong together; none of that! Oscar never cheated or became problematic, even Jack realized that have casual relationships wasn’t for him; nothing dramatic like that at all. Nobody actively objected to Laurie/Oscar’s union and nobody was actively rooting to get Jack and Laurie together. It had to be them, as individuals, choosing each other which is so fucken sweet and such a good expectation to have regarding romance love. Even though it started as a chance love at first sight moment, it ended up being them actively choosing and actively seeking out their own happiness and idea of what they want in life and then declaring it, separately, to each other that made them work as a couple. well there was a bit of a fanfare at the end of the book but it was cute. It was normal people! finding love! for each other!! I love this so much!!!

Songs to include in this Playlist I am 1000% gonna made for this book: invisible strings by Taylor Swift, Enchanted by Taylor Swift, gold rush by Taylor Swift, Speak Now by Taylor Swift, Permanent by Kygo, In Your Eyes by The Weekend, Heat Waves by Glass Animals, Just For A Moment by Gryffin, Iselin, Comeback by Carly Rae Jepsen, Bleachers, Don’t Give Up On Love by Kygo, Losing It Over You by Matoma, Ayme