#Even tho it seems to be something they enjoy

[diy-dynamite]

Television Influence

Homicipher || Mr. Crawling + GN Reader

So... I have no idea how to use Tumblr to write fics But. Consider this my trial before it goes down :3

CONTENTS: (1) mentions & descriptions of murder, (2) kissing

Disclaimer: the part about MC being an assassin is just a hc I came up with. There are spoilers under the cut, though (at least I think I put the cut, idk tho)

So hear me out. Idk if anyone did this yet, but listen: after bringing your sweetheart (Mr. Crawling, obviously) to the real world, things went back to normal. Sort of. You were never really normal to begin with.

********

You went back to your old job, hacking and killing, keeping the bills steady with commissions, yada yada. Corporate worker on weekdays, but at night and on weekends, you're a highly sought out eliminator.

This busy schedule didn't sit right for Mr. Crawling, though. Every time you came back, you noticed that he sat before the door, already waiting for you to twist the knob and push. You installed cameras to try to keep your eyes on what he did, only to find out that if his presence was caught on camera, the film would glitch and blur and static would pepper across your screen. Still, you were able to decipher what he did through the choppy feed.

He stood his ground in front of the door with that small, anticipating grin on his grey face. Your heart ached at the sight, cooing aloud right in front of your victim before you slammed your crowbar into their skull.

That's when you realised you didn't like leaving him for hours on end. You didn't want to make him wait like that.

An idea sparked in your head when you were getting ready for your morning job. Mr. Crawling was still lying on his spot next to yours on your shared bed. You couldn't tell if he was sleeping or spacing out. Did he even need sleep?

You shrugged that thought off and quietly tip-toed your way into your living room. You switched on the TV—which you never used until now—and left the volume at a moderate level before leaving for work.

Truly enough, the sweetheart confusedly crawled over to sit at the front of the screen, watching the rom-com show that just got aired.

You smiled, leaving the monitoring app as you sipped from your favourite morning tea. You checked in on him around every five hours, and he never moved from his spot, not until you were already at your front door, though. The humanoid man seemed to hit a realization and crawled to the front door once again. It's like he already knew when you usually arrived.

He just sat there with that same thin smile on his face, waiting for your return. If he had a tail, it'd be swaying slowly. Patient and hopeful, like a dog.

You pushed the door open, and his chipper laughter rang through the air.

"You home! You home!"

He pushed a chuckle out of your lips, embracing you by the hips as you locked your front door with shaky hands due to his movement.

"Home, home," you nodded, sighing, yet you still smiled. "Hungry? Want eat?"

He giggled again, his smile practically cutting from ear to ear.

You served him his red soup—it wasn't tomatoes, but it was the chunks and blood of your victim last night.

"You enjoy?" You asked, leaning on your palm as you watched him eat. "Thing," you pointed at the TV in the nearby room. "Thing fun?"

Mr. Crawling wiped the leftover soup from his lips, pitch black tongue licking over where the blood was on his hand.

"Thing fun," he agreed. "You more fun. Many more."

You laughed. Thank goodness for all the language lessons you took on his dialect because these little gems that left his cold lips would've flown last your head.

Suddenly, Mr. Crawling paused.

"Want... try something."

"Try?" You tilted your head in confusion, and he mirrored your expression as you uttered a word in English. "More eat? Eat another?"

He giggled. "No!"

Your brows knitted together, and your lips pursed as you pondered. "Try what?"

Mr. Crawling crawled around the chabudai table, already hovering over your lap. His lips formed that same loveable (and slightly uncanny) smile. "You, me..." he gestured between you two with one hand. You nodded along, hoping to understand. "Me, you," you said.

He gestured again. "Not the same. Me, you, different. I saw other—other like you," he pointed at the TV. "Saw many like you. They say love, but they not show. Why?"

"...?" You had to process that for a second. Lengthy sentences in his language were harder to decode. "Er... um," you sighed. "They not ready? Love big, but they know small."

He watched you expectantly, so you continued.

"Uh... love big. Yes. Many meaning. Few word, few say."

"You love me?"

This was a question you got daily. It didn't hurt to answer repetively, but now that you thought of it....

Your hesitation made Mr. Crawling shrink back, his smile slowly turning into pouting.

"No no," you quickly added. "Me love you. You kind. You rescue."

He perked up, his joy bouncing right back. "Me love you!" He chirped.

You sighed, but your breath of relief didn't last long. He took you by the chin, his cold and calloused hands as gentle as he always was, and he poked his lips against yours in a brief kiss.

.

.

.

"You cute," he giggled, and you realised your face went red. "Cute, cute."

"Where did you learn to do that?" You blurted out, confusion and fluttering shyness grasping your stomach like a ruthless vine. "I mean—" you snapped out of it, seeing his confusion. "—how... how you know... do that?"

He pointed at the TV again. "Saw many like you. Say they love they, then they do!"

.

.

.

He saw people kiss?

"You—"

He kissed you again. Did it even count as a kiss? It was more like tapping lips together than a kiss.

"Cute!" He chirped and kissed you again. It didn't take much for you to know that he was pleased with your reddened cheeks and wanted to see it over and over. You counted twenty times before you stopped him, which made him frown.

"I teach," you sighed, your shyness wearing off. He practically bounced at your words. "I teach you how. My language, I call 'kiss'."

He tilted his head.

You said it again. "Kiss."

"....Ck...ck..."

"Kiss." You nodded.

"Ki...iss?"

You patted his head in approval. "Kiss."

He giggled. "Kiss! Kiss! Me kiss you!"

You couldn't help but laugh. "I teach you how. Don't move."

He didn't.

When you leaned in for a kiss, he stiffened, but he didn't move away. You held his hands and brought them to your waist, and then you held the sides of his head, pressing on.

You didn't take it too far, no—he wasn't really ready for English yet, let alone French if you know what I mean.

"....Me kiss you," you said.

It was almost as if steam was blowing out of his ears. The place around his cheeks darkened into a deeper grey, and you laughed. Before you could comment, however, he pounced at the chance to kiss you again before you changed your mind.

********

Erm so this was kinda ass LMAO

It's just practice anyway 😞 didn't proofread either so I guess that'll be my bad when I wake up tomorrow to see a bajillion of mistakes

[duncanor]

Even though Plants are interconnected and have the capacity to communicate with each other's from a distance, I do not believe they are in fact a hive mind, at all.

The only time, in canon, that support that vision of Plant kind is when Knives forcefully fuse with them.

This is not their natural state, it's corruption. It's deshumanisation. It's the decay of the self.

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

[tetzoro]

eeep !! good morning friendz and happy happy monday ! it’s a brand new day !!! and a brand new week !! i’m waving my lil wand and spreading a lil magic in hopes that everyone has a good one ^_^ ♥︎

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

Our Lady Of Mysterious Ailments & The Mystery at Dunvegan Castle

books 2 & 3 in the Edinburgh Nights series

paranormal mystery set in a climate-ravaged future Scotland, plagued by ghosts and magic

follows a 15yo Black girl who’s finally gotten an in to learn scientific magic properly - but it turns out to be an unpaid internship, so she has to take more jobs delivering ghost messages and investigating mysteries to take care of her gran and little sister

in book 2 she’s investigating a strange illness centred on a magic school for boys

and in book 3 she’s attending a global magician conference held in a creepy castle - when someone’s murdered, and they’re locked in until she figures out the culprit

Zimbabwean magic, friendship, disabled characters, no romance (so far)

[mangle-my-mind]

uh oh they're starting to make choices in an adaptation of a book that I am not agreeing with!

[ineed-to-sleep]

So what you’re saying is that datv is actually the new stardew valley huh? 🤔

JFJAKWKKEKDKDK MAYHAPS?? I've never played stardew valley tbh but this is what I imagine it to be like now 😭

[gifti3]

Im in such an obey me mood today haha

other than "pls dont tell asmo about that",,,, i have questions about these freaking vegetables (im putting under the cut since im talking about food and bad eating habits/diet related stuff)

im assuming they would have to be mixed with other regular ingredients to prevent the hunger but it sounds like ppl would use them as the main component in a dish or just eat them by themselves

So does all of it get digested? No leftovers (waste) comes out the other end im guessing? is it like a magic type thing?? it has to be right? Cause if not...ur body will take the calories needed to replace the ones burnt, take the nutrients, and the rest will just get tossed out

And since it doesnt make you full, like wouldnt it be way too easy to overeat this type of thing? so you could accidentally end up making urself go to the restroom more often :/

Ig if it gives u the nutrients u need that itll be useful then. So maybe its a 'heres ur macros for the day' type dealo? but u still have to go eat an actual meal or make sure u mix it with other stuff tho

[gaydri]

I know that everyone's saying kotoko isn't going down without a fight but... who exactly is she going to fight with? She's knows that it's literally impossible for her to harm Es, so I doubt she'd lash out like Amane. Like... do people think she's going to attack the innocent prisoners? The other guilty prisoners? Fuckin.. jackalope? Bc I'm ngl I'd pay to see her punt that creature

[kg2hub]

kindergala? more like: lou singlehandedly revives the kindergarten tumblr rp community part 2 electric boogaloo /lh /silly

[fettery-fetterie]

I'm just kinda thinking over what could it been had things gone just. Just every so slightly better

Had some fundamentals been challenged further

Had the right words be spoken

Had they didn't go all in

It's just so sad, because I ultimately do see them working on the right scenarios, but they're all just...fantasy, a fleeting dream, the unreachable

Oughhhh I love them so much. They're so doomed

[tearingdread]

havin a normal one 👍

[monstermp3]

.

[notmoreflippingelves]

EoA for ask meme

otp: *coughs* Elena/Esteban. sorry not sorry.Look if they didn't want me to be unhinged about them, they shouldn't have spent an entire season soulmate-coding them and then capping it off with a BATB homage.

favourite canon pairing: ymmv on how canon it is, but considering it was pretty strongly teased in the series finale, Julio/Doña Paloma. I do find Carla/Mateo pretty cute as well.

worst pairing ever: I wouldn't say any of the pairings for the show are bad. It's just a lot of them don't particularly interest me. I could say Elena/Mateo, because personally I find it overrrated and I'm already gonna talk about it later. But I am going to go with Esteban/Doña Paloma.

I did actually kind of ship it the first time I watched the show...right up until the episode where their AU selves got married. And even though the whole point of "to Queen or Not to Queen" is that everything is absurd and everyone is wildly out-of-character (especially the two of them), they just seemed so miserable together and I couldn't unsee it. I also find it kind of annoying that Paloma is treated as sort of the default "acceptable" Esteban shipping option for people who don't want to pair him with OCs. And just...it's fine and I understand why many people would feel uncomfortable shipping him with certain characters (even if I don't)...but like...Victor is also right there. And honestly, I'm able to get a lot of the same vibes that I initially liked about esteoma out of estevictor, esteban/naomi, gaberico, and Julio/ Paloma---plus just I find those dynamics are more interesting in general.

guilty pleasure pairing: It used to be estebalena, but now, I have much less shame over it. It helps that I really only see it happening in S3 or later and that I hc that Elena would be the much more dominant/instigating partner in the relationship. I mean I guess Shuriki/Esteban is the obvious answer. But it is worth noting that I don't like it when it's genuine/mutual/romantic. I only like esteriki in the noncon/dubcon "Shuriki abusing her power" sense. So my guilty pleasure ship is less Shuriki/Esteban and more "Esteban/severe Shuriki-related trauma that leads to extreme woobification." I want him sad and pretty and haunted by the Dark Times™ so that he can have allll the angst, whump and hurt/comfort.

a pairing you want to see more: Literally every ship that isn't just some permutation of the Four Amigos. There are so many great characters in this ship that can be paired in so many interesting ways, but they rarely get acknowledged. I think I am particularly baffled by the lack of m/m in this fandom, since it's like the complete opposite of every other fandom ever. There's a bit of Mateo/Gabe, but honestly, it's positively dwarfed by other pairings for the amigos. (Also I don't care about Mateo, lol). There's also a criminally small bit of Gabe/Rico, but there could be so much more.

But honestly, the ship that I am genuinely baffled isn't more popular and really really want to see more of is Victor/Esteban. Like it just seems like a no-brainer to me. It has so many tropes that people normally go feral over. Childhood friends to lovers? Enemies to Lovers? Foe yay? Mutual redemption arcs? There isn't even an age difference and Victor's marriage is all-but-over. So, what is stopping people? I've seen at most a handful of ambiguously romantic ship art and not a single fic. Where is it? Where is the estevictor? Give me the estevictor!

that pairing everyone likes but you’re like “lol no” : Elena/Mateo. I mean I get why it's so popular given the popularity and attractiveness of both characters. But personally, I just don't find them interesting. I feel they both have better chemistry and interesting potential with other characters than they do with each other. And its popularity within the fandom certainly doesn't help, as my little contrarian hipster brain turns its nose up about 90% of fandom juggernaut pairings. Plus, I just don't care enough about Mateo to care about a ship with him. He's casually cute with Carla and I can see him with Gabe as well. But otherwise, nope. Don't like him enough to care who he's shipped with.

favorite non-romantic pair: There are a bunch of dynamics that I do ship sometimes (or more than sometimes) but I also love platonically. (Esteban & Elena, Elena & Naomi, Esteban & Naomi, Naomi & Gabe, Elena & Gabe, Elena & Valentina, Elena & Marisa, Chloe & Maliga, Cacahuate & Bobo, various permutations of "Team Isa"). But in terms of pairings that I only view platonically, either Victor & Carla or Isabel & Elena.

[thebookishwallflower]

as a possibly autistic but definitely neurodivergent person i get cats, like goddamn

people always compare autistic people to cats as a joke but there are some real similarities that don’t actually mean anything in reality

it does however mean i look get along with cats really well and get really confused why other people can’t just learn to read some (pretty obvious, in my opinion) body language stuff and get along with cats too

like watch one video, read one article, for goodness sake look at an infographic, and you might learn some really useful stuff

like here’s where to let cats if you don’t know them, here’s how to approach them, also, they can get over stimulated when being pet so learn the signs and leave ‘em alone

‘i keep getting scratched and bit’ well mf the cat bristled, gave you a warning bat, was waving their tail anxiously, had their ears back, tried to back away, and hissed

you decided to keeping on petting the obviously in distress cat, like tf you except bitch??

anyway that’s how autistics are treated too

my mom treats cats and i the same way and one of us even has words. it’s not great, and it’s damn common too

[magentagalaxies]

went to toronto again for new years weekend and spent pretty much the entire time hanging out with paul bellini which included us rewatching a bunch of episodes from kith s4 during dinner on new years eve. and y'know the second best thing about watching kids in the hall with paul bellini is getting to hear a bunch of behind-the-scenes backstory about the inspiration for sketches, previous versions that never saw the light of day, , etc. but the actual best thing about watching kids in the hall with paul bellini is when an entire sketch will play without comment and at the very end he goes "the fuck was that?"