#Essential Prescriptions

[alexturntable]

wear your glasses!

[columboscreens]

[byler-alarmist]

Hate when traditional gender roles are pushed on me by otherwise nice little diners and cafés.

The Chef Salad -full of protein! Piled high!

The Waitress Salad- half size, just some greens, maybe a tomato

The Big Papa- two mouth-watering beef patties and two slices of the best cheese this side of the Rockies!! Comes with fries!

The Li'l Mama- half of a chicken patty in a lettuce wrap. Comes with guilt and sadness

[dustywave]

got dumped by my doctor :/

[dragonatthedinnertable]

Fuck's sake.

My current GP is on maternity leave, and for the last 6 months I've had an interrim doctor who has been proactive & responsive. She was just managing my prescriptions, blood tests, and referrals; I never actually met her, but I trusted her.

Today I finally worked up the courage to make an appointment (at the end of next month) to review my HRT (because I want another go at getting prog, and/or increasing my E). Only to be told that the previous doctor is leaving this week, and my new interrim GP is my old one.

The one who:

changed my antidepressants within 5 minutes of knowing me, on the assumption that it would fix my chronic fatigue;

only agreed to reduce my cypro dose on the assumption that it would fix my chronic fatigue;

only referred me to Gen Med for chronic fatigue because I had a nurse as my Support Person, and the nurse bullied her into it;

failed to prescribe me my antidepressants one time, right before the weekend, meaning I had to go to After Hours to get like 5 days' worth to cover me;

generally never listened to me at all.

The receptionist did offer me a chance to speak to the practice manager about it. But, like, I already did that 2 years ago, when I moved to my new GP (the one with a new baby). I shouldn't have to go through this again, and I certainly don't have the emotional budget for it.

[teaboot]

Sometimes I think a lot about my mom's cat

My mom's cat is a common domestic shorthair we found on the side of the road as a kitten

Regular cat, not a maine coon or one of those massive breeds. His mom was smaller than a loaf of bread

But in a sort of a Clifford The Big Red Dog situation, he grew super fast, and really really big, and took a super long time to stop growing

Worried that she was overfeeding him, she eased back his portions, but he stayed a massive round baby

When he started having kidney problems, she took him to the vet.

The vet took a look at him and said, "holy fuck, what are you feeding him", checked the nutritional listings on his chow, and told her "Yeah, maybe he's reacting badly to the amount of grain in this, try a meatier diet"

So my mom wound up special-ordering this specific high-protein prescription cat food made of like. Kangaroo meat or some shit that cost like sixty bucks a bag

And, as typical act two in an episode of House, he somehow got worse on the fancy specialized stuff that was supposed to be Primo Athlete Olympic Feline Blend

Like. WAY worse. His guts were inflamed and his kidneys were shutting down and he was all sore and HE WAS STILL HUGE, just miserable and sad

So shetook him back to the vet, where they had to help him pee (he was apparently close to bursting and had some kind of blockage too) and went "Yeah no this is NOT normal and we don't know what's going on, we're gonna do some tests but in the meantime you should go back to what he was eating before, at least that wasn't actively killing him" so she did

And he still wasn't great, but he also improved

And so they take his blood and do an ultrasound and a couple g's later she gets a call back like "this is gonna sound crazy, but we want you to put him on a low-meat diet. Just the least amount of protein and iron and shit. We need you to find the grainiest, filler-iest dollar tree kibble available and give him some of that bad bad shit"

And my mother is a woman of science. So she did

And he GOT BETTER

His energy picked back up, inflammation went down, he started drinking normally again, got back to pissing like a fuckin champion

And so it turns out that out of all the random ass freeway bonus cats we possibly could have scooped out of a ditch, WE got the one-in-a-million freak of nature with a SPECIFIC genetic defect that means a paleo protein free range diet is essentially poison and he THRIVES on cheap ass garbage

Like. He medically NEEDS junk food

I dont really understand how that works, but i cant argue with results.

If we had four of him, they'd outweigh my mom. And he's FINE

Also blind, but that's unrelated

Im not using him as a symbol or a metaphor or anything. I just keep catching myself thinking about my mom's Big Fucking Cat

[alizardjae]

I want my hands baacckk, even typing with tremors is a crapshot >=[

[assignedfailure]

Maybe if I abuse prescription pain medication I'll feel normal again.

[rxboutiquepharmacy]

Traveling can be an exciting experience, but managing your medications on the go requires some planning. For those who rely on prescription drugs, making sure you have what you need when away from home is essential.

[grison-in-space]

Okay, so earlier on another branch of this thread, I identified myself as one of the main popularizers of this concept lo this whole ass decade ago. I think you're missing something major about language from a descriptive/prescriptive focus.

Philosophically, prescriptive definitions of word meanings emphasize a clear definition before seeing the word in use and critique uses of the word that don't fit that definition. Descriptive definitions of words instead watch to see how words are actually being used and pull their meaning from that. Those definition lists of minor sexual identification terms you'll see going around are a prescriptivist approach to language: the words are invented to describe concepts that occur to the coiner. QPR, like every term I've ever blogged about, was popularized simply by describing experiences I was going through and saying "you know what? This is a word I'm referencing to describe that." (Cf: wtfromantic, "zucchini", invisible elephant, and so forth.) I have observed over time that the words that actually stick around and get used inevitably fall into the latter category.

The thing you are missing is: people don't use unfamiliar words to describe familiar social categories. What I mean by this is that you are right, you don't see people whose friendships fit within culturally normal bounds for their cultures rushing to self define as QPRs. They don't need to. It doesn't add any clarity when they reference the relationship among their peers.

In the same way, defining "asexual" as "anyone for whom the term asexual is useful for describing their experiences" generally doesn't encourage, say, incels to make use of the term. (That definition was, by the way, a strong competing use of the term for decades and continues to see frequent use by folks who also sometimes use "grey-a" or "demi" in spaces where those terms convey useful information.) That's because the people using the term are trying to convey specific information that isn't helpful to the groups for whom it doesn't work.

This is also why you don't really see straight, "normative" kinksters claiming the term queer in queer spaces: they're not served by doing so. You do see kinksters who are not normative claiming the term, but when you investigate you often find that these people's sexuality is generally unusual enough to fall under "queer" by broader definitions. (Frankly I think this phenomenon is often driven by ace and bi/pan kinksters for whom kink rather than gender is the precipitating context in which they relate to sexuality.)

In general, the running through-line I see for people who find the term "QPR" useful is a determination to combine an aim for long term commitment with other features of relationships that don't meet the generally accepted local criteria for a romantic relationship. There are plenty of cultures in which this distinction isn't useful, because familial commitment is dissociated from romantic love; in fact, I would argue that the need to make that distinction is a relatively recent cultural development. That's great! Those cultures call types of relationships different things depending on the patterns they see and recognize.

In our culture* romantic relationships are the main route towards establishing a desire to form a household or a permanent commitment with another unrelated person, it can be frightening and alienating to contemplate one's future when some or all of the suite of defining traits and behaviors associated with a romantic relationship aren't appealing. For example, some people might not want to share a sleeping space, or might not want to fully entangle finances, or might not want to engage in particular activities together. QPR is usually used by people whose relationships desire some element of permanency or commitment that isn't compatible with a standard romantic narrative. That said, permanency and commitment can be very hard to predict in advance and can put a lot of pressure onto people who are figuring shit out as they go, so YMMV.

(For the record, it is very funny to see QPRs described as essentially identical to X culture's definition of friendship when I married mine... let's see... ten years ago next March. I'm still politely agnostic about the difference between romantic and platonic relationships; I just usually smack into that dichotomy from different directions these days. But I wanted to form a household with my partner and legal marriage was the only way to accomplish that, and then sharing space was cheaper than not, and we've toddled along so far without really needing to redefine.

For their part, my partner does conceptualize the relationship as romantic and often cheerfully explains that they "could fall in love with a rock." This is fine: descriptive definitions don't require us to agree on the feelings categorization of relationships, just on the parts that get everyone's needs met.)

*referencing dominant Anglophone cultural assumptions on the basis that you're right here talking to me in English

i keep seeing misinformation about this, so: queerplatonic relationships do not have a set definition. the name comes from the idea that it's "queering" the platonic relationship, tailoring it to the individual relationships' own desires. it isn't necessarily romance lite, but it also isn't necessarily whatever definition you want to impose on it. the point of queering the platonic relationship is to break away from strict allonormative views on friendship, romance, and sex, not to make a new categorical box to fit in.

the answer to "what is a qpr?" is "whatever you want it to be." sometimes that is romance lite. sometimes it's a deeply committed friendship. sometimes it's friends who have a sexual relationship. sometimes it's based on an entirely different mode of attraction. sometimes it's fluid and impossible to put into words. it's whatever you want it to be. it's queer.

[gemstarstarlight]

So the good news is I am back in America and I started ADHD medication.

The bad news is that it’s been 2 days and the main effects have only lasted an hour. And today I don’t feel any different from before taking it.

(Although I’ve been taking lemon cough drops regularly and it’s just occurred to me that those might violate the no-Vitamin-C-or-sugar-for-an-hour rule I learned on Tumblr. Any thoughts?)

[snekdood]

this is so true 😩 absolutely 0 survival skills

"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.

[wilwheaton]

How we relate to the pain of others is a question that always lurks beneath our politics, but it’s one that is particularly relevant now. In its first months, the Trump administration has begun to implement a radical rightwing regime featuring mass deportations without due process, draconian cuts to domestic and foreign aid programs, and venally self-interested foreign policy – a set of policies that amount to a prescription for mass suffering and death. Whether Trump succeeds or fails in his quest to remake US society is very much a question of how much of the pain of others Americans are willing to abide in the pursuit of making America great again. The rightwing movement against empathy seeks to dismantle and discredit one of the essential tools for any society – our capacity to recognize and respond to suffering. We should see the campaign against empathy by Trump supporters for what it is: a flashing red light warning of fascist intent.

Loathe thy neighbor: Elon Musk and the Christian right are waging war on empathy

[neptunedada]

Caregiver bag essentials

Toys (rattle, tiny blocks, mini magnetic tiles)

Pacifier’s + clips (and pacifier wipes!)

Teether toys

Sensory toys (tangle, nee-doh, fidget cube)

Sippy cup/Cute water bottle

Snacks (puffs, yogurt bites, graham cookies)

Diapers/pull ups and wipes (if your tiny needs them)

A change of clothes/Comfy clothes

A bib

Sensory aids (ear defenders/loops)

A little friend (plushie, small toy/doll)

Medicines baby might need (tylenol, any prescription)

Wipes (baby wipes, antibacterial wipes)

A small treat (incase baby gets fussy)

Feel free to comment anything you think I might have missed! :)

[madamechrissy]

=͟͟͞♡ Healing Hearts =͟͟͞♡

=͟͟͞♡ Pairings:-Doctor Gojo x Intern F!Reader

=͟͟͞♡ Summary- You are the top Surgical Doctor intern, along with Maki, Yuta and Toge. You all are exhausted from passing the first month, sixteen plus hour days, days you don't even go home, all to get a top spot with the star Surgeon, Dr. Gojo, your resident doctor and boss. Or as you call him, Dr. Hojo. He's takes nothing serious but his surgeries it seems, and has a reputation for being a player, but he has that top spot, so you want to prove your worth! You just have to ignore those stupid butterflies he gives you, and those pretty blue eyes, along with his interest in you, and focus!

=͟͟͞♡ Contents/warnings- MDNI- Warnings- overuse/incorrect use of prescription meds, angsty asf in places, scene of a medical procedure, heavy subject matter, some sexual tension. Reader, 26, Dr. Gojo 34- Grey's vibes - this chap, misuse of prescription drugs, snorting said drugs, light angst, explicit sex, like A LOT of sex, oral (f recieving) talking you through it, multiple positions, TOXIC attraction, possessive Gojo, yandere tendencies tbh, lots of drama and feelings =͟͟͞♡ WC this chap- 9k

♡ Reblogs and comments appreciated if you enjoy ♡

=͟͟͞♡ Part Seven =͟͟͞♡ Playlist =͟͟͞♡ Masterlist =͟͟͞♡ Part Nine

Part Eight

“It’s beautiful here, Satoru. Thank you.” You’re in the most elegant of dining rooms of this restaurant, already so fancy you feel just a little out of place, but Satoru seems to know everyone, grinning as they fawn over him and you.

“I had a feeling you’d love it. Plus this way some privacy.” His voice drops just an octave, rushing over you in waves, the desire you feel for him is hard to ignore, but you know you need to learn more. Despite the temptation of his plump lips as they smirk just a bit, while the waitress pours you each a glass of wine.

You sip it then, moaning at the taste. “What is this!?”

“House plum wine, it’s our specialty.” She smiles at you sweetly, then eyes Satoru, leaning over just a bit, you can tell she’s trying to get his attention, far too close to him for comfort. “Dr. Gojo, would you like your usual?”

“That depends on what my girl here wants.” He doesn’t have to say that, do that, you two don’t even know what you are, but here he is, an arm around you, essentially brushing off the pretty waitress to hold you close. “What are you thinking, love?”

Love.

Satoru is calling you love. God if you don’t wish it could be true, that maybe Satoru could love you enough, maybe he does in his own way, but it’s a cruel torture, the worst sort of joke. To love someone who clearly doesn’t love himself, despite the outer appearance that he does, the cocky, conceited jokes, the winks and smirks so self sure.

But you’re already learning, it’s to hide something.

“You pick for me, maybe some seafood?” He nods then, and spits off two orders that you don’t even understand, smiling as he hands her the menus, you notice she looks just a little dejected. “Did you sleep with her, Hojo?” Satoru gasps, putting his hand to his chest then.

“Rude! Calling me some floozy hmm?”

“Well, you were?” He sighs now, tilting your chin up just a bit.

“Before I kissed you, after that it was over.” His thumb brushes your lower lip, when they bring in appetizers for you all, sitting on pretty ceramic plates, the soft music gently flowing in as the doors open again.

“You love to fuck my brain up, Doctor.”

“Love to fuck more than that, intern.” His voice is soft, flowing over you as he pops a little hors d'œuvre in your mouth, watching you as you chew it thoughtfully, eyes fluttering shut as it hits your taste buds. “That look, fuck. Is that better than me?”

“So much better.” He chuckles when you laugh a bit.

“So… how was the day, overwhelming?” You nod, sighing, as the two of you start to talk about Choso now, the device possibility, so much today alone had gone on, but then every day at the prestige hospital was rather hectic.

The plates are served, and you both find it easy to be on this date - a true date - not a rushed little bar encounter, or a night spent at each other’s homes, it felt so real and tangible. The topics get a little heavier soon, dinner is done and dessert is being served, the most decadent little morsels you could imagine, as more of the sweet wine fills your bloodstream.

It’s so perfect for a moment you forget how you got here, forget just how horrible it was before, and he can almost pretend that you don’t need to know his flaws. But you have already seen him at his bad point, you already know some of what makes him not good enough for a girl like you, but he can’t prevent himself, he wants you and only you, and he needs it like he needs air.

“Why are the doses so high? High tolerance?” Your question is soft and delicate, as you ask the question carefully, sipping your drink once more and looking right into his pretty blue eyes, a conundrum of feelings scattered in them like stars.

“Very high, I’ve always had one, could drink a fifth and act straight- I’m not much of a drinker though, a little wine here and there.”

“Well thank goodness, drinking with Xanax…”

“Yeah, Klonopin, Ambien, all of them don’t go too well with it.”

“And how do you function? Honestly, the levels…”

“The more you take them, the higher the tolerance. But I typically don’t just snort them, unless I need them to hit quickly. But even then, that night in the locker room I had taken several.” He’s quiet, as are you, remembering the night so vividly. “I was upset and overdid it, even for me.”

“Upset because of our fight.” He nods now, jaw clenching.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Satoru strokes your cheek, you feel it, your emotions rising, heart pacing in your chest, as you struggle to keep your composure.

“But you never want to live together? No kids I guess I get now, no marriage I can understand, but how do you not live with someone ever? I don’t mean now or even soon, but never? It’s like you’re afraid to let someone in.” Satoru runs a hand through those silky white locks, frowning then.

“The main reason for that is,” Satoru sighs a bit, as he leans so close to you, you practically taste the sweet plum wine on his breath, mingling with yours, before he leans back, his adam’s apple bobbing with a gulp. “I think whoever would live with me, would grow to hate me.”

Your heart shatters at his words, tears swimming in your vision, hating that this man could feel that way. You ease back yourself, looking up at blue eyes that hide far, far too much pain, slipping a hand up the softness of his sweater, then higher, brushing along the line of his jaw. He’s watching you so seriously, like he’s waiting for a blow, jaw so tense you try to rub it to ease it.

“Oh, Satoru…” Your voice is shaky as you speak, taking a tremulous breath, hand now slipping up over a high cheek bone, brushing across where he’s flushed just the lightest shade of pink.

“You know a little more about me now, but it can get bad, my depression - it’s a reason I’m on it all. And the reason I work constantly, but at home alone sometimes… It's really bad. And I get… angry, frustrated. Fuck I can be mean, you’ve seen all of it.” His hand comes to brush your hair off your shoulder, fingers long and elegant against the delicate slope of your shoulder.

“Think I can’t handle that?” You raise a brow at him. “Have you met my ex, he was a shit.”

“Yeah you have bad taste.” You roll your eyes, but your breath catches when his fingers dance along your shoulder, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “You could handle it because you’re strong, doesn’t mean you should.”

“I think you’re mean to yourself.”

“Oh?” He frowns now, hand falling.

“Yes, you’re afraid to let anyone know you, because you want them to think you’re ‘perfect’.”

“Ouch, psychiatrist is your calling.” He’s trying to make light of it, a smile that doesn’t meet his eyes, but you cup his face now, leaning forward, his lashes lower, eyeing your bitten lips, dying to press them against his. Dying to kiss every inch of you all over again.

“I want to know all of you. I won’t get scared away easily, if you have a bad day, you could talk, tell me. We could… I won’t tell you not to take them, but you could talk to me first. Before you…”

“Snort them?” He cuts you off, and you nod, Satoru sighs now, easing his head further against your touch, as his hands come to grip your waist. “Are you asking me to take them as prescribed, intern?”

“I think they’ll last longer and be used less, yes.”

“Is it a doctor’s order?” His lips quirk up, but he’s hiding it, the vulnerability now, you can feel it, even as his hands warm you through the layers of your cashmere sweater, igniting so much held inside of you.

“It’s a special request from a girl who adores you.” Satoru blinks back emotion, pulling back completely, making your lips tremble, heart hammering. “I shouldn’t have said it…”

“No, no.” He needs to compose himself, your words almost break him then, words he never knew he wanted or needed, but to come from your perfect lips, he feels you gripping his chest like a vise.

“It’s just a gentle suggestion. I’ll date you anyway. Okay? Satoru I will never judge you, ever.” He almost cries, someone so strong reduced to tears because you make him feel more than he should.

He doesn’t deserve you.

Your hand comes to his shoulder, he’s still turned away in the elegant dining room, the two of you alone, soft music filtering in from the restaurant, mingling with the gentle noise of laughing and chatting couples and friends. But the two of you are alone, and all you can hear is your heartbeats, yours erratic, as you wonder if you’re asking too much, pushing too hard.

“If I wasn’t selfish I’d leave you alone, I’d let you go be with someone who can give you everything.” Satoru’s words are hoarse, as he turns back to you now, and you see tears in his beautiful azure eyes, bringing tears of your own, burning your eyes. “You’re young, you think you could fix something so broken.”

“I don’t want to fix you, and you’re not broken. Stop it. I’m not that young, okay? I have my own experiences in growing up quickly.” Satoru sighs now, shaking his head.

“Shit, you had no parents… I’m sorry. I’m not… thoughtful.”

“You are. You’re more than you give yourself credit for. Are you perfect, no, you’re kind of a mess.” He smiles a bit, as you’re swiping tears, he hates it, you seeing them, seeing his weakness.

You’re his weakness.

“But there’s a lot of good. A lot.”

“Don’t deserve your presence.”

“Satoru…”

“I don’t. But I’m greedy, baby, so I’ll take you anyway.” He yanks you to him now, against his hard body, a hand tangling in the hair at the nape of your neck, brushing your own tears with his other hand, before thumbing your lower lip, running the pad of it across your lip. “I’ll take anything you give me.”

“Why’s that, hmm?” Your eyes flutter shut when he kisses your cheeks, then your nose, your eyelids, your hands grip his sweater, body overheating.

“Because I can’t get you off my fucking mind, out of my heart, you’re seeped in so fucking deep, do you know?” He’s kissing down the side of your neck, moaning as he hears your soft cry. He loves you, fuck he does. He doesn’t know how to say it, he doesn’t know if he deserves to speak it, if it will just hurt you in the end.

“You think you haven’t sunk into my soul, Satoru Gojo?” Your words make him pause, pulling away and looking down at you, brushing back your hair, his other arm possessively wrapped, pulling you so close you’re almost on him. “I’m falling.”

Shit, you said it.

He pauses, then exhales, a shaky breath with a soft moan, before making you gasp, when he stands, picking you up shoving aside your ceramic plates of untouched desserts, and sits you right on that thick white table cloth. Your heart hammers in your chest as you stare into eyes that reveal it all, swirling with every emotion he tries so hard to hide.

“I’ve already fallen for you. Fallen so fucking deep it’s killing me slowly, breathing your air but not holding you, kissing you,” he does just that now, as you whine into his mouth, his words washing over you. “Being deep inside you, feeling you, kills me so much I fucked it up, and I’ll fuck it up again.”

“Satoru, you-” He’s slammed his lips once more, an arm on either side, pinning you to the table, stepping between your spread thighs, kissing you stupid, drugging you like the xanax in his bloodstream.

“But I’m selfish, so selfish, I’ll let you be with someone like me, even though I should love you enough to be with someone who deserves you.” You’re sniffling, shaking your head, but he cups your face, eyes devouring you, and you sink deeper and deeper into the pit that is your feelings. “I will take anything of you.”

“Then have me, all of me.” Satoru moans and pins your wrists, as he presses you back on this high, fancy banquet table, yanking up your top, his hand slipping up it, your chest heaving as he finds you over your lace bra, making you cry out.

“I can’t let go if we do it again. I won’t let you leave, I wish I was fucking kidding, do you really wanna get dragged down with me?” His words are dark, but you are past pretending, caring, any of it. You just nod, and he sighs, shaking his head, hand slipping down under your waistband, finding your slick heat, moaning as he does. “I can’t let you go.”

“Then don’t- ah!” He’s running his fingers between your drenched folds, so ready to sink his cock in you again, fill you like your body is begging for, looking down at your pretty face, already fucked out from a touch. A face so pretty he’s not sure he deserves it either. “Please…”

“Gonna be mine, hmm? You sure sweetheart?” His desperation breaks through, and you nod now, giving him the go ahead, he moans softly, sinking two fingers deep in your tight entrance, pressing up just so, you scream out at it before covering your mouth, realizing though alone people could still hear. “No.”

He yanks down your hand, and you’re biting your lip, gasping and gripping his wrist, which flexes as he fingers your slick walls, that grip him so good he almost cums from it. “C-can’t be quiet…”

“I need to look at your face when you cum. You can’t cover it.” You’re whining out, as his intense gaze and his fingers press your spot, like he knows you so fucking well. “I want to see your mouth open, your eyes roll back, wanna see the sweat that breaks out on your brow.”

“F-fuck…” You’re barely able to function, your walls convulsing around his thick fingers, soaking and loud, echoing in the elegant room, mixing with your soft cries, so drunk off him your head spins.

“No one can make you feel this, huh baby?” He’s insane again, his eyes dilating, like he’s in some fucking trance as he plays you, as you drown in his eyes, swirling storms that you can’t stop looking into. “Asked you a question sweetheart.”

“No one.” He moans then, fingers even deeper, thumb pressing into your twitching little clit, all while he watches you unravel.

“That’s it, let go f’me. Wanna watch you fall apart.” You do then, cries muffled barely by you biting the fuck out of your lower lip to the point it’s almost bleeding from your teeth tearing your skin, as your pleasure washes over you in waves, back arching up, and Satoru nearly cums from just watching you, feeling you. “Beautiful, fuck.”

“Please, in me.” Your whisper destroys him, surely even though you’ve rented the room anyone could just walk in, but you’re far past caring any longer, and he’s ready to give you all of him, you wouldn’t even care if a whole restaurant saw you at this point, cunt pulsing around nothing when his fingers slip out.

“Fuck, I want to but I can’t keep quiet.” His lips quirk up just a bit, and you breathlessly giggle, perhaps the first time you’ve felt relief since it all, as he puts those fingers to his mouth, sucking them up and exhaling. “Come to my place.”

“So much for taking it slow.” You murmur, sitting up now with his help, shaking when he presses a kiss to your lips and you taste your sweet arousal all over him, kissing it right off him. Satoru sighs, cupping your face, hand entangling in your hair, pulling it at the nape of your neck, making your head fall back.

“I’ll fuck you slow if you want.”

“Shit. Let’s go.”

The drive through the snow is quiet, aside from music Satoru has slowly playing, and you’re snug against him, hand brushing up and down his chest, like you can’t get close enough to him, and he’s kissing you at every stop light. You’re so fucked up on him, on how your panties are soaked against your leggings, the heat warming the two of you so much.

“Need to be inside you, fuck.” He’s murmuring, his hand slipping to your waist, while you kiss on his neck.

“Focus on the road.” You’re breathless when he softly whimpers, while you find a spot right on his neck.

“Shit…” He’s clenching the wheel, cock leaking precum again, dying to bury itself in your slick little cunt. When the two of you finally get to his place, he’s quickly dragging you inside, kissing you desperately, yanking your sweater right off. You’re hastily repeating the action on him, gasping when he turns you around, unsnapping your bra and letting it fall.

He’s pressing you against the front door, littering your shoulders with bites, hot and hungry, his hand slipping down your spine, sending shivers down your body, as he brushes hair off the nape of your neck. “Satoru, please.”

“Let me savor this, been dreaming of you all week.” You’re whining out when he turns you again, kissing you hungrily, big hands gripping your tits as he’s yanking you against him, thigh between yours, making you eagerly grind against him. “You’re all I’ll ever want.”

“Don’t say that, mmm.” You’re shaking your head and he sighs, on his knees before you then, unbuckling your boots and easing them down, as your breath comes quicker and quicker, echoing out loud, mixing with the pounding of blood rushing through to your ears.

“I’ll never want anyone else.” His raw declaration terrifies you, fuck you know he’ll probably hurt you, damaged beautiful man, so opposite of you it’s insane, but you’re drawn to him with inexplicable need. His blue eyes under white lashes are drunk when he finally glides your leggings down, moaning when he sees you. “You’ve ruined your panties, baby.”

“Mnh! Please…” You’re gripping his shoulders to balance, throwing your thigh over his shoulder, gripping you by your ass so rough you gasp. “F-fuck!”

“Let me drink you, please, I need you so badly baby.” He’s damn near slurring his words, lapping a stripe over your panties before he pulls them to the side, revealing your glistening, drippy cunt. “God look at you.”

Your moans are throaty when he’s drinking you up against the door, fuck you’d not even made it a step inside before he does, before he’s soaked from you, dripping all over his pretty face, and he can’t get enough of you. He’s moaning, fucking your tight entrance with his long tongue, soaking you into his tastebuds, never wanting to leave your thighs.

He looks up to see your pretty tits bounce as you grip his hair, head falling back to smack the door, while Satoru laps up all your arousal, groaning against you, making it vibrate. “I’m c-cumming!”

“Good, cum all over me.” You’re done then, cunt gushing so much he can’t catch it all, it’s falling down his chin, even when he gulps as much as he can, feeling your quivering cunt grip and pulse around his tongue. You’re blinded as it hits so hard, you nearly collapse, but he’s holding you firm, kissing your clit, neglected aside from little bumps of his nose.

“Oh my god…” You’re delirious, so much held back for so long for him, fuck even before you were so afraid to get hurt you held back, but you’re done holding back any longer, you’re so ready to let him have all of you. “Take me.”

“Fuck…” He stands up so quickly you get dizzy, snatching you up in his arms, kissing you hungry, messy, while he carries you to his room, hastily flicking on the soft lights.

“Why on?” You murmur, blinking your fuzzy vision as you land on his soft, plush bed, in his spotless fucking room, gripping his egyptian cotton sheets, thick and soft as he unbuckles his belt with a click.

“I need the lights on to see all of your anatomy.” You bite that lip again, thighs pressing together, leaned up on your hands as you hungrily watch him strip fully, pretty, perfect cock springing out, begging for attention. You go to grab him but he pins you down, shaking his head. “Won’t last if you touch me, wanna embarrass me?”

“You always last long, Doctor Gojo. Think I don’t miss touching him?” He exhales now, lifting a thigh, pressing his leaky tip at your entrance now.

“You can after, I need to be inside you.” You nod then, giving him the go ahead, and he shoves inside so deep you scream, so ready it’s insane, you can’t stop your shaking, convulsing while he breathes so heavy over you, one hand on your wrists still, pinning them to the pillow. “Fucking feel you.”

“Mnh!” You’re already fucked out from two, three strokes, splitting you in half like only Satoru Gojo can. Your cunt stretches to accommodate, gushing down his veiny length, down his heavy balls that smack your little ass hole now, as he pounds your cunt so merciless.

But that’s not all that fucks you up, no it’s his damn eyes, so dark and desperate for you, he can’t rip them from your face, fucking up into you harder, losing himself while your hands go numb in his grip. “God, never felt anything this good.”

He’s whispering words in your ear, as he rests his head, snowy locks tickling your cheek, the loud sounds of skin smacking in the air. He pulls back, watching the bulge move inside you, putting his hand over it to feel him fucking you, his cock moving slowly in and out, all while he feels you pulse around him. Your head falls back, hips arching, slick walls just gripping his cock way too good.

But mostly he sees your pretty face, screwed up in pleasure, a face he didn’t think he’d get to see again, and he dies over it. Letting your wrists free, you touch his abdomen, fingers running over perfectly defined muscles, slick with sweat from his exertions. You watch them flex and tremble, slipping higher to his chest, feeling his erratic heartbeat against your palm.

“Satoru…” You’re breathing out his name, so close now, he leans over you again, his other hand dipping between your bodies, finding your clit and rubbing it in circles, pressing against the twitchy little nub, watching you fall apart.

“Need to cum all over my cock, don’t you baby?” You just nod, ever so weakly, drowning in him, in Satoru, words threatening to spill from your lips- just how much you love the man that you’ve only scratched the surface of. “Then cum f’me, all over my cock, make a mess. Ah, that’s it sweetheart, almost there.”

He’s talking you further over the edge, slamming his cock so deep then you do fall apart, nails pressing and leaving crescent shapes in his back, head falling to the side for his teeth to sink into. Your orgasm washes all over you until you’re weak, twitching and shaking, just gasping for breath, the sounds sinking into his ears, as your pleasure injects into his veins.

You are the best high there is.

“God, you’re perfect.” You shake your head weakly, and he slows, lifting his finger off your clit now, slowing his stroke to agonizing slowness, in and out, letting you feel every single inch, every ridge and vein on his cock. “You are. I never want you to leave this bed, fuck.”

“Mmn… you don’t…”

“I do.” He’s kissing you deeply, and that is when you fall off the imperceptible ledge he had you on, that’s when you kiss him back with fervor, giving a heart you’re terrified he will break, but how can you not? How can you not drink this man is, even knowing the pain that will follow.

Satoru flips you with ease, he’s got you on your stomach, as he hooks a thigh over yours, smacking your ass and groaning as he watches it bloom with his handprint. “Ah!”

“I need you to be mine, can you? All mine?” He is insane, but you’re insane too, nodding, knowing the version of ‘his’ is so different from what you truly think of.

Are you willing to fall?

He’s got a hand around your throat, shoving his thick cock back inside you, breathing right in your ear, even his breaths, so heavy and desperate push you on further. Your head falls back, ass arching against his pelvis, when he slams so deep inside you, long body taking over your much smaller one, as his very essence wraps you like the darkest shadow.

Darkness, swirling, heady mixing with the scent of him, with the feel of him, when the deprivation of everything but him happens, and you’re getting your throat squeezed at the sweetest pressure. “Tiny little neck, like it when I squeeze?”

You weakly whine in response, when he pushes you to that edge again, you’ve lost count of how much pleasure he’s brought you, how many orgasms wreck you, as he chokes your throat, squeezing just perfect on your pressure points. It’s fuzzy, your mind, it’s all gone, instinct only allowing you to feel the pleasure instead.

“Want me to fill you up baby? So full of me?” You nod eagerly, as Satoru busts inside you, hot white cum coating your quivering walls, and you lose the last thread you had left in your brain, the last thing connecting you to anything rational.

“Ah!”

“Fuck… god, she’s milking me for it all…” He’s slowing his strokes, exhaling now, while he peppers kisses across your shoulder, then up your neck. “Fuck I didn’t know I’d get to ever again.”

“What would you have done?” He eases out now, sighing and continuing his kisses all over your chest.

“What would I have done?” You nod then, sitting up a bit, legs pressing together, cunt throbbing, you feel his cum seeping out of your abused little hole now, as he runs his fingers down your smooth legs.

“Yes, gone to your Hojo ways?”

He laughs softly, shaking his head, kissing your ankle now, as you’re still reeling from what had just happened. “I’d have jerked off and snorted pills and cried.”

“Shit.”

“Mmhmm… shit, can I snort a xanax once more before I call it quits?” You blink a bit, and he grins. “I wanna snort one off your cunt.”

“No! What!?”

“Inner thigh?” You’re torn between thinking it’s hot and thinking it’s bat shit insane, he sees it, smirking. “It’s a dream of a dying man.”

“You’re not dying, you're just insane.” You’re still trembling from how hard you’ve cum, and he’s too pretty pouting like that. “Okay once.”

“I love you.” You snort, shaking your head, when he drags a tray from the table, black and gold filigree designs, xanax bar crushed with quick skill, like he’s done it a million times. You tense a bit, watching him gather it with a razor blade, then onto a thick cardstock. “I thought xanax tasted the best, until your pussy.”

“You’re comparing me to chemicals?” You cross your arms, and he grins, the devious psycho doctor that he is, coming to lean over you now, spreading a thigh.

“Nothing tastes as good as you, but xanax is close.” You’re watching with quick breaths as he sprinkles the white powder on your inner thigh, exhaling nervously when his snowy white hair bends down. “My nose will never be the same.”

“It’ll be happier, you know.” He smiles up at you, snorting the powder up quickly, his breath far too close to your cunt, you’re whining softly at the sensation, as he laps the residue up with his tongue now, moaning. “Does Xanax taste that good?”

“It does. Here.” He’s leaning up, kissing you now, and you moan as his saliva drips against your mouth, and you taste it.

“Must be acquired.” You whisper, saliva string dripping between your lips, and you see it, his eyes dilate, his body relaxes.

“Nothing tastes as good as you. Especially with my cum pouring from you.” He’s shoving the tray aside, prone position again, licking your cunt and groaning. “God I knew it would be the best mix.”

“Mnh! You’re f-fucking insane…”

“I know, baby.” He’s lapping his cum out of you, while you grip him, and he’s fully fucked up, the xanax hitting and making him enjoy your pretty cunt even more.

“Last time.” Your soft cry warns, and he sighs, nodding, pulling your lips apart to watch more of his white cum leak out of your slutty hole.

“Last time, doc.” You roll your eyes at him, but it’s soon them just rolling back, when he’s sucking on your clit, and it drools all along him.

“F-fuck!” Your hoarse voice just makes him impossibly more ready, pressing his still sticky cock against the mattress.

“Again.” His quiet command is impossible to ignore, you simply nod just a bit, swallowing nervously, when he leans back over you, slamming his thick cock so deep so soon, it shocks you, making you scream out, as he moans in pleasure, damn near a quiet growl. “Fill you up every day.”

“Satoru…”

“Every minute, every hour. Fuck you in every room in that goddamn hospital.” You’re unable to speak when he pulls back, watching his bulge in your tummy move with every agonizingly long stroke, jerking those hips just so. “Every corridor, I’ll drink you up in every elevator.

“Insane, f-fuck!” He laughs a bit, the drug has clearly entered his blood stream, you see it on his face, unleashing whatever bits he’s apparently been holding back from you.

“Am I insane? Or are you, for lying under me sweetheart?” Your lips part, but you can’t form a word, instead just another cry as he fucks you harder into his soft, dense matress, the blankets and sheets crumbling beneath you, your hands gripping harder and harder.  “Answer me.”

“You’re the c-crazy one.” He laughs even as he shoves his cock so deep you scream, drooling tip smashing a cervix already hurt from him pummeling it just minutes ago. “Insane fucking man.”

“You love it though.” You won’t answer, not this insane man with far too much in his bloodstream, the man ruining you over and over, breaking you apart with his strokes to put you back together with his kisses.

“Think I love it?” Your whisper is against his lips now, he leans over you, soft white locks falling over his brow, as he studies your face so carefully.

“I fucking love you.”

What.

Huh.

What!?

You’re blinking in confusion, wondering if he’s finally fucked you actually stupid and not just theoretically. You can’t even answer, when he pulls back once more, slamming his cock and bottoming out, stuffing you so full you can’t stop your scream, hoarse and then weak. He cups your face with one hand, sighing as he shakes his head over you.

“I do love you. It’s why I can’t ever let you go.” You’re too stunned and confused to find any sort of word, any protest. “You don’t have to say it back, just you need to fucking know.”

You’re cumming once more, and he’s pulled with you, groaning and busting deep inside you, his words disorienting right along with his cock filling you up so much you feel it everywhere. Satoru’s in your cunt, your stomach, your goddamn head, and your fucking heart.

He’s everywhere.

*****

The next morning, you yawn, stretching in Satoru’s luxurious bed, reaching to find the rumpled sheets are cool. You sit up now, hearing the front door click, standing on the plush rug and stepping out of his room now. He smiles as he walks inside, and you lean on the doorway for a moment, seeing two cups in his hands.

“Morning, sweets. You finally have joined the living.” You giggle a bit, stepping closer now.

“You kind of zonked me.”

“Must be the xanax on your pussy.”

“Satoru!” He’s just grinning now, setting down your cups and pulling a multicolored pill case out of his jacket.

“What, it’s probably a hell of a high.”

You watch him, methodically taking each med, smiling at you as he hands you your coffee, and something breaks your heart then, that he thinks he needs just that much. Seeing your hesitation, he frowns a bit, swallowing them up with a sugary concoction, a little foam on his lip that you gently swipe away, studying the man illuminated by the sun filtering in through his floor to ceiling blinds.

“What is it?” His question is soft, curious, you look down at the cup, shaking your head a bit.

“Nothing.”

“Tch, one thing you suck at, is lying.” He sips his drink again, stepping closer, eyeing your sexy body in his dress shirt, so long on you it’s precious, the sleeves rolled up several times, he sees the outline of your body as the sun showcases it, making him ache again.

God he can’t get enough of you.

“I just wish you didn’t need so much. I’m not judging you, I promise. I’m not… trying to ‘fix you’ you’re a grown man. But it hurts to see.” Satoru falters then, as if it’s not what he expected, coming even closer until his hand presses on your waist, gently but firmly, burning through the thin layer of his white dress shirt.

“Last night is the last time I’ll snort them, okay? I will respect what you asked. But you… don’t believe me.”

“No, no, I do. It’s just… so many. On an empty tummy?”

“Need to feed me then hmm.” He’s trying to make light of it, push it off, but you have trouble letting that go, and he sees it then. “Wanna know why I’m on each one?”

“Do you want to tell me?” He nods now, pulling out one of his black kitchen stools at the bar.

“Sit.” You do just that, and he sits next to you, legs wide, setting his cup down on the pretty granite counter that damn near shimmers it’s so clean, shit all of Satoru’s house is spotless.

You suppose you get why he wouldn’t want kids, or even pets it seems, everything has its order, its place.

“I was once a lowly intern like you.”

“Lowly!” You shove at him playfully, he chuckles a bit, but the laugh doesn’t quite meet those eyes, snowy long lashes lowering while his fingers brush on your bare thigh, leaving intricate networks of goosebumps in their wake.

“I was one and not as good as you, shit not close. You’re remarkable, you know.” You pause at that, cheeks heating up at his praise, when he’s so close, too close, intense eyes boring into you. “It’s one of the reasons I fucking love you.”

“You shouldn’t say that…”

“No? Why?”

“Because you don’t really mean it…”

“Oh, honey,” he rests his forehead on yours as he takes a breath, hand gripping your thigh so tightly, while you start to lose focus. “I mean it.”

“I’m scared shitless, Satoru.”

“I know.” He kisses your forehead then, smiling just a little sadly. “I was not as bold then, not like you, not even close. I was scared to fuck up, so much pressure with my family, and already I was with Hime.”

“Oh I imagine a lot of pressure.” Your soft voice comes, as you put your head on his shoulder, hugging his strong arm over his coat, letting him speak as you try to reign in your own emotions.

“It was. But with her as well, we were at a constant war, a back and forth to piss each other off. Shit she would bring people home, so would I, and at a point I got so depressed, that we were stuck together- also pressured to have kids. Archaic fucking mentality.”

“Yeah… I see.” You can’t look at him not when he brings it up, you don’t even want to think of it right now, the fact that you probably won’t get that if you stay with Satoru.

And you can’t imagine a world where you don’t always love him.

“So I was very tired after we had a thirty six, remember your first?”

“Oh god yes.”

“And I… missed something. I was so tired, I…” His voice breaks, and you pause, looking up at him now, hating the sorrow on his perfect features. “I fucked up, and someone died, because of me.”

“Satoru, no-”

“Yes. Yes they did.” He’s so tense he’s shaking now, shutting his eyes and shaking his head.

“We all make mistakes, we’re just human-”

“No, I needed to be perfect. Top of my class, top of every interns, fuck I have always been the best at everything. And then, the guy was dead because I was sleeping.”

“You cannot blame yourself!”

“I do. That’s when I decided I needed to make sure I wasn’t tired, and then I tried a few different meds, but adderall? Fucking perfect. Literal speed and pure focus.” He speaks of the medication like it’s a lover, soft in his caressing voice about it, smiling just a bit. “Then however, I was so hyped up, I couldn’t come down at night.”

“So… Ambien.” He nods.

“Ambien, knocks me the fuck out. But during the day, I was still under so much stress, living with the one mistake I made, and knowing I could never do it again, also the stress of the marriage. It was overwhelming, that was when I realized I needed a good anxiety med.”

“Xanax.” Your soft voice is met with his nod.

“Best anti anxiety there is, but it is strong, I found it worked best with Klonopin, a mix of the two? Couldn’t care less about shit in the world, and my mind is so fucking crystal clear. And that, intern, is how I became the top doctor there is, and how I’m about to be the top surgeon, and run the hospital.”

You blink a few times now. “You are?”

“Yeah I haven’t told anyone yet, but you should know.” He cups your face so gently, kissing your lips, tasting like the frappuccino, pure sugar as his lips dance across yours. “You’re brilliant, caring, fuck you’re gonna be such a perfect doctor, I can already see it.”

“Thank you, Satoru.” You kiss him back, gently, sighing as you sit in his embrace, in his quiet kitchen.

“I could get over the… living together. If you wanted one day.”

You blink at him then, shock, confusion and… of course happiness, making you gasp. “What?”

“You’ve seen it, and still choose to deal with me. Why, I don’t know… but I want to be open to it for you. I can’t… I never want kids, or marriage, but I could try to live with you.”

“Ah.” You pull back, and he swallows then, feeling how tense you are. “What if it happened by accident?”

“Pregnancy?”

“Yes.”

“Abortion.”

Your eyes go wide, mouth dropping. “What!?”

“It’s the simplest solution, but if you wanted to go off birth control, I could just get a vasectomy. It’d never come to that.” You can’t explain the devastation his words bring, and he notices your demeanor shift, cursing. “I need to work on how I say things, shit.”

“I would never get one.”

“What?” His shock is evident. “What do you mean never?”

“Never. Personally. I’m for them of course, we help perform them, and I’ll always respect a woman’s right to choose that. But I would never.”

“I see.” He looks away for a moment, then sighs. “I’ll get one, so shit never comes to that.”

“Satoru, that’s permanent damn near? What if you want kids later-”

“I never will.”

“With someone else!?”

“It’s only you. I only want you.” He’s kissing you now, dragging you against him, the stool itself screeching along the titles, breathless as he stares up at you. “I will never share you, with anyone or anything, I just want you. I can give you all that I fucking am, everything I have, anything.”

“I just… mmm…” He’s desperate in his kisses again, hands slipping up your thighs, and you feel the mix of arousal and terror growing in your heart.

“I love you.”

“Don’t say it if-”

“I do. I love you, only you. Fuck more than any drug, I’d inject you so goddamn deep baby.” You’re gasping out when he’s standing picking you up like you’re nothing, mouth devouring yours, kissing any sense away you had left. “I’ll make you so fucking happy all the time, you could walk all over me and I’d thank you.”

“Satoru!”

“Use me. Any way you need.” He’s got you laid out on his kitchen table now, exhaling as he sees your glistening cunt, eagerly unbuckling his jeans as he slips a finger between your slit. “Love your body, fuck.”

You’re crying out when he has his cock out so quickly you don’t process it, as he leans over you, still half dressed, you grip his jacket, legs trembling on either side while he runs his tip along your folds. He kisses you when he presses in, and you’re so tight he can barely get that thick, mushroomed tip in, you cry out against his lips as he groans.

“Perfect, tight little cunt, fuck.” He’s pulling back, shoving deeper, as deep as she could take him, and your eyes roll back in pleasure at the burn, the impossible stretch, while he kisses down your breasts, lapping a nipple over his own dress shirt.

“Oh my god.” You’re trembling when he pulls out again, going deeper, deeper inside your snug walls, which pulse and drool around the invasion, as he kisses his way back up your neck.

“I love you. Only you. God, just you.” Satoru kisses your worries away, and it’s not a good thing, it’s a horrible thing, because how the fuck can you even think of anything of your future when you can’t think. “I want you here, every fucking day.”

“Shh.” You kiss him now, desperate and hungry, hips arching off the cool wood to take more of him, he groans as he sinks deeper, and suddenly your phones are both going off, and you all know.

“Goddammit.” He groans out, kissing you again. “Getting called in.”

“We should…”

“No, you’re cumming first.” You gasp when Satoru yanks you down, turning you and pressing you against the table. “Arch that pretty ass, intern.”

You do just that, and Satoru’s yanking on that dress shirt, using it as leverage to fuck into you as your legs just dangle there off the floor, and you scream out your pleasure, earning his satisfied moan. His strokes are mean, brutal, but you want them - no - you fucking need them, need Satoru to fuck all the problems out of your goddamn head.

And fuck does he.

“L-love you…” He pauses now, cock throbbing inside you, leaning over and tilting your face to his, eyes glimmering, black again - from you or the cocktail of pills, you don’t know - so intense you can’t breathe.

“How could you love someone like me?” His broken voice makes you shake with sobs, you shake your head now, as your phones go off again.

“I do love you, Satoru. I do.” He whines out as you’re clenching him so fucking tight, kissing you desperately, a hand under your chin.

“God, those words, fuck. I’m dreaming.” He buries his face against your neck, slamming in so hard you both whimper, the arm that’s wrapped slides down, finding your pretty little clit that he loves to toy with, feeling you shaking in his grip, tightening down like a vise. “That’s it, cum f’me baby, you can do it.”

You fall apart in his embrace, lost in his pleasure, in his obsession, knowing this is a horrible idea, knowing this is a horrible person to fall for. Knowing you’re going to fucking lose yourself, but you eagerly give it all to him, to Satoru Gojo, who’s got you drooling, swiping it off as the wet noises of your slutty cunt mix with his filthy string of cuss words and tender declarations.

You’re in so deep you may never climb out.

*****

One Week Later

“Hey pretty doctor.” You smile at Choso later that afternoon, so excited for him now that you got the news.

“Hello Choso, you’re gonna love me.”

“I already do!”

“Mhmm.” You’re giggling as you shut the door, coming up to put a hand over his, and watching his heart rate jump. “Relax.”

“You’re too pretty, I'm sorry.” He’s pouting far too cutely, as you sit on the edge of the bed now.

“We just got the call, there’s a heart at another hospital.” His violet eyes light up, then dim, lashes lowering. “This is good, Choso, it is.”

“What if it doesn’t…”

“It will work. I know it. You’ll have the best surgeon-”

“And you?” You smile now, nodding at him, seeing his exhale of relief. “You’re gonna see all of me huh?”

“All your insides.” You both laugh, your hand still on his, he turns his own, thumb bruising your knuckles, making you just a bit flushed.

Your heart is stolen by a selfish doctor, but Choso is probably the sweetest human you’ve met, and you’ll be damned if anything happens to him. He’d chosen not to do the device yet, and to his benefit, because now he wouldn’t be weakened by a previous surgery.

“You’d make the best mom you know.” It’s so random you blink a bit, and he sighs, shaking his dark head. “That’s weird to say, you just have a nurturing instinct, you remind me of how my mom was.”

“Oh, was she amazing, hmm?” You try to play it off, and he nods now, as you stuff all your fucking feelings down.

This week has been amazing with Satoru, he's stayed at your place one night, you at his the other, you perform surgeries better and better as a team, he’s thoughtful, perfect, everything. He’s more considerate of things and what he says, he’s not seeming like he’s over using the prescriptions, you cannot complain one bit about Satoru and how much he’s trying.

But the elephant in the room is just what Choso casually said.

You’re giving it up forever.

“She was amazing, and I try to be that way with my little brother.”

“Oh, Yuuji, I’ve met him a few times now, he’s so sweet!”

“He is a good kid. I helped raise him with dad… gone.” You frown now, nodding and understanding.

“Mine is gone too. I appreciate you saying that Choso, it’s nice to know someone thinks I would be.” Hearing the pain in your voice suddenly, his thumb pauses its strokes.

“Who wouldn’t think that? Do you think you’re too busy for a kid or…”

“No. Not that, um.”

You suddenly feel it, the emotions hitting, you’ve been crying a lot for no good reason the past few days, hearing Choso was getting a heart was a bright spot, along with Satoru’s presence. But that’s always tinged with uncertainty, with pain, so very bittersweet in its beauty.

“It’s personal. I talk too much to you, I’m sure I-”

“Stop it, I love talking to you.” You lean forward, pressing a kiss on his cheek then, which blushes right away, bright pink. “You’re fast becoming a very good friend to me. I was so excited to tell you.”

“I’m glad you did. I didn’t know if… it would happen.” He smiles as you pull back, brushing your hair back just a bit. “You really are my angel.”

“Am not!” You’re giggling when the door opens, and Satoru sees the two of you, jaw tensing as he does. He knows you’ve gotten close, and Choso is so happy when you’re around everyone has let you focus on him lately.

But it smacks him in the fucking chest.

He wants to rip you off of him then, you’re his and only his, and he can’t stand for people looking at you let alone touching you. You peer back and smile at him, so pretty of course Choso is falling, clear as fucking day. He knows it’s not on your end, he knows he has you cumming on his cock every day, multiple times a day, but still something is infuriating him in that moment he can’t describe.

“Tell him the good news?” He smiles, putting on a mask like he doesn’t wanna pull your hair and drag you to him, like he doesn’t wanna fuck you until you can’t even look at anyone.

He knows it’s bullshit, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t run through his goddamn head.

“She did, I’m really excited. You’re the best, right Doc?”

“I am indeed.” Satoru comes up now, tensing as he sees you’re holding hands, and you pull back then, clearing your throat a bit. Satoru sees tears in your eyes. “Everything okay?”

“I told her she’d be a good mom. I think it was extra.”

“No, it was sweet.” You grin now, eyes glimmering, and Satoru feels it like a punch to the gut.

What if he would give you kids, would you fucking leave Satoru over it?

It’s not like he ever can. He knows he’s too selfish to love another person, and too obsessed with you as it was. He couldn’t have a whole child around, and he doubts he’d be any good. Hard to take your kid to practice when you live at work, and are constantly on things to not feel - or to feel.

But this week has been so fucking beautiful, by your side, inside you, on top of you, behind you. Finally confessing his love, and you returning it, why would you not want to keep it? Did he need to do more, to make you happier, so he could make sure you’d stay?

He can’t live without you.

The thought rips him to shreds.

“Ah. Well you need rest, we’re going to get that heart today.” Satoru gently helps you off the bed, and when you all walk out, he grabs your wrist, leaning down. “He’s getting awfully comfy with you.”

“He needs to be happy and strong for this. I’ll help him however I can.” You ease your wrist from his grip, raising your brows at him. “You’re the only person for me, I just care for him.”

“Rationally I know that,” he leans down now, a hand on your hip, pulling you close. “Irrationally, I wanna fuck every thought of him out of your pretty head.”

“Satoru…” He sighs, pulling back now, leaving you trembling in your goddamn scrubs in the middle of the hospital.

“What he said…”

“It was true.” You leave him to ponder it, turning away now. “I’ll see you in an hour to get the heart.”

“Yeah… okay.” You’re walking away too quickly, swiping at your tears as you go, leaving Satoru to curse under his breath.

How can he keep you if he’s not sure he’s worthy?

You rush away from him, trying to compose yourself, until you’re in the locker room, looking at your reflection in the mirror.

You’re happy, right?

This story is slow on updates but I do appreciate Dr. Gojo's 11 fans VERY much hehe. I hope you all enjoyed the toxic fuck fest- let's get Choso a damn heart!! (dw he'll be fine <3) and their drama isn't close to being done.

@lostfracturess @unfortunately-tia @allofffmypeaches @makingtimemine @antisocialinlw @meg3mis @zoeyflower @wstaley2 @bunheadusa @blue-musingss @ameliariddle @labelt-san @jkslaugh97 @shadeowz @gojo1228 @jaeminaur @httpstoyosi @angel1of-death @seeing-stars-alt @bol0-de-morang0 @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @trishiepo0 @inthedarkshadows000 @gina239 @san-it-is-i-guess @pelicanpizza @gojo1228 @ducky1232 @inthedarkshadows000 @eclecticmentalitypersona @burguhndy @levislug @addehehe @sluttyofgojo @msniks @xixflower @ambiguouslady42 @kiaraandrea @jjknanamin @suguruscousin @silverfangmarks @atiny-99 @thatssoambs @kanekisheart @mahalsuya @kimkimoruo @hoelynecujoh @abiiebibie @procastinatingbitch

[andreadworkinq]

“She is given drugs because nothing is lost when she is drugged, except what is regarded as the too thick edge of her emotional life. She is given drugs because she is not much valued; she takes the drugs because she is not much valued; she stays on the drugs because she is not much valued; the doctors keep prescribing the drugs because she is not much valued; the effects of addiction or dependency on her are not much noted because she is not much valued. These are prescription drugs, regarded as appropriate medications for women.

Thirty-six million women can be tranquilized in a year and the nation does not notice it, does not miss their energy, creativity, wit, intellect, passion, commitment— so much are these women worth, so important is their contribution, so indelible is their individuality, so essential is their vigor.”

Right Wing Women, Andrea Dworkin