#Especially when I don't even have my own space to retreat to when I get frustrated being ignored for the 15th time in a row!!

[blue-banditt]

Ok I don't think it's unreasonable to refuse to visit my parents if they're not going to hang out with me,, right?? RIGHT?? Like I shouldn't be expected to drive 2 hours there and back to sit around their house and beg like a damn puppy for crumbs of their attention like I did when I was a kid, especially when I have a whole ass apartment and cat and schoolwork to take care of at home.

"am I going to see you this weekend?"

"I wasn't planning on it. I can fit it in if I'm not just going to be sitting around your house all day though"

"I'm not going to entertain you!! 😝"

Ok well, I'm a guest now since you turned my old bedroom into your hoarding closet I mean sewing den mb,,. idk sounds like bad host manners to me. 🤷

[woso-dreamzzz]

Daisychains II

Marta Torrejón x Caroline Graham Hansen x Child!Reader

Summary: It's gardening day

Caro had never really noticed the amount of plants at Marta's house. Well, she knew there were a lot but she had never really noticed just how many there were until she started visiting more regularly.

Usually, Marta would come to hers for dates but with you warming up to her, Caro came to Marta's every week.

She shifts the bouquet to her other hand as she rings the doorbell. There's a shuffle inside for a moment before she notices you peeking out through the curtains and disappearing again.

Marta opens the door and you peer out from behind her legs.

"Hi, Caro," You say, your voice soft and gentle.

You're wearing a pair of overalls and your welly boots. You seem quite overdressed for what is a very hot day in Barcelona but Caro doesn't question it as she hands you the flowers she picked out especially for you.

She brings you flowers every time she visits now and you're always happy to receive them. You do a very impressive job of keeping them all alive for weeks at a time and, honestly, Caro's a bit in awe of how you do it.

"She was very excited to see you today," Marta says as she watches you put the flowers in a vase you'd already prepared.

"Really?"

"Of course, I think you're her favourite person now."

The tips of Caro's ears turn pink as she bashfully looks down. She feels shy all of a sudden. The feeling only deepens as she feels a small hand take hers and looks to the side to see you smiling at her.

You look a little shy too, your hand dwarfed in Caro's.

"Mami," You say to Marta," Can I show Caro my garden?"

Marta laughs, pushing some strands of hair out of your face. "Well, it is gardening day, isn't it? Why don't you show Caro all your plants and I'll fill up your watering can?"

"My frog one?"

"Yes, your frog one."

"Okay." You tug lightly on Caro's hand and guide her out of the back door.

Caro's never been in the garden before but she's not surprised that it's very clearly yours. You've got plant boxes against the fences and a little swing she knows is the same one that Marta sat in to announce your arrival on social media.

It's got little cushions and looks meticulously cared for even though you're now six and it's been there for at least a few years before you were born.

You've got flowers against one of the fences and you pull Caro over to them.

"These are my flowers," You say.

The long box is separated into smaller boxes, each with their own flower in them.

"These are my roses," You say," And these are my tulips. This one's for my orchards. They're still little though so they're still growing."

"They look very nice."

"Mami is helping me," You say, pulling her across the garden to your other plant box," This is for my vegetables. We're growing broccoli and peas because they're healthy!"

It's the most talkative Caro's ever seen you.

You show her every inch of the garden and Caro doesn't even care that the sun is horrifically hot and she could quite possibly get sunburn.

Marta comes out soon after with a frog watering can and helps you water all your plants.

"It's gardening day," Marta explains as she and Caro retreat to the garden swing while you pad around with much smaller plant pots," Every Saturday when we don't have a match."

"She's good," Caro says.

"My parents got her a gardening set when she was three. She's been hooked for years now. All of her books are about plants. She doesn't like storybooks anymore. Just ones about gardening."

Caro sips on her lemonade as she watches you pour soil into an empty pot, watering it liberally before scattering a few seeds in and covering them. You set the pot on the garden table, right in the sun before hurrying off to grab a different pot.

"Clearly they've paid off. I think you might run out of space soon."

Marta groans jokingly. "She asked me for allotment space for her next birthday. What six year old knows that word? Allotment."

Caro joins in with her laughter, setting her drink down as Marta calls for you.

"Conejita! Come have a snack please!"

You huff a little bit, patting the petals of the flower you were pruning before hurrying over.

Marta had brought out carrot sticks earlier and you easily wiggle your way between her and Caro to eat them.

"Conejita grew these all by herself," Marta says as you munch," Didn't you?"

"Mami helped," You say to Caro, nodding earnestly," Do you like them?"

Honestly, Caro doesn't really like carrots at all but she still takes the one you offer her. She nods. "I really like them."

You beam.

"It was mine and Mami's special project," You explain," We had a lot of fun!"

Marta laughs, pulling you into her lap and sticking a floppy straw hat on your head to protect you from the sun. She bounces her knee a few times and you giggle.

"We did have a lot of fun, Conejita. I love growing things with my girl."

"I love growing things with you too, Mami!" You lean into her as you eat your carrot snacks. You suddenly have a thought and sit upright again. "Can I have a special project with you too, Caro?"

"I..." Caro's ears turn red again. "I'd like that."

"Mami, did you hear? I can grow something with Caro!"

"I did hear. It'll have to be next week though so you can have time to decide what you want to grow."

You wiggle around until Marta sets you on your feet and you grab Caro's hand, pulling her inside.

"We can grow flowers!" You decide," I have a book so we can choose! Come on, come on, Caro!"

Caro allowed herself to be led back inside and sat down on the sofa. There are flowers from last week set out on the coffee table and you drag over a big flower encyclopaedia from the shelf.

It looks very heavy but you stubbornly refuse to let Marta help you carry it. She smiles fondly at you as you place it in Caro's lap and begin to look through the pages.

"Conejita," She says as you and Caro debate what flower you're going to grow together," Should I put these away?" She's holding last week's flowers and you quickly shake your head.

"No! Wait, please, Mami!" You take them from her and glance at Caro. "I know they're not daisies," You say," But can you teach me how to make a flower crown with these too?"

You're very lucky because most of Caro's free time has now been taken up learning how to braid flowers together for exactly this moment.

She places the book to the side and hefts you up onto her lap.

"I'd love to."

[fraugwinska]

Hello beautiful! Not only I just discovered your writing and binds read your entire master list … could I request a part 2 from the eye of the storm?

Maybe something like where the reader is worried about Alastor at night and she goes to comfort him. He asks her to tell him a story while she lays beside him but as he falls asleep he ends cuddling? Tysm and please take all the time you need💕💕💕

Your wishes are my command - I strayed a little from your idea, but I hope you'll like it nonetheless! It's angst and fluff, and a little sweet at the end! And of course, it leaves room for a possible (Spicy) Part 3? ;> Who knows?

This is the second part of a Mini-Series. Part 1: The Eye of the Storm is right over here.

Two weeks had passed since the night Alastor's nightmare almost tore the hotel apart. Your wounds, caused by the sharp claws of the demonic form of Alastor, had healed pretty well and were barely noticeable anymore, thanks to dutiful tending of Charlie and Niffty, except for the scar on your hip, still pink and sore. You didn't mind, though. It was a physical memento of a sacrifice made for someone you deeply cared about.

In fact, you had a hard time forgetting that night, because every time you looked at the scar, the image of the Radio Demon, hunched and sobbing on his bed, flashed through your head, and you felt your heart clench. He hadn't spoken much to you since then. He hadn't spoken much to anyone in the hotel, really. You tried to approach him, but he always seemed to find an excuse to get out of a conversation, or leave the room you entered. When you asked him if he was alright, he laughed it off and waved his hand, telling you it was not worth worrying about. You knew him enough by now to know it wasn't true. You also knew him enough to know that if you tried to push him, he'd retreat further.

So, you just observed him from a distance, the way his smile looked tired when he thought no one was looking, the way his laugh seemed hollow, his eyes dim and exhausted. Sometimes you'd catch him blankly staring at the wall or ceiling or a painting on the wall for minutes, before snapping back and continuing whatever task he was supposed to do.

"I'm worried about him, too."

Charlie was sitting beside you on the lounge set in the foyer, both of you nursing a cup of hot cocoa, while Alastor was preparing dinner in the kitchen, humming some melancholic tune that traveled through the closed door. "But I don't know how to help him. He doesn't seem like he's interested in opening up to me or the others, or talk about what happened. It's as if he's just... shut off."

You sighed, sipping from the drink. "Yeah. He's been getting slimmer too, and always looks so... tired."

Charlie nodded, and you exchanged a glance. "Is there any chance that... maybe he would open up to you? You seemed to have a connection to him more than we were ever able to have with him. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I can't help but think he'd feel more comfortable around you."

"I tried, Charlie - he just... vanishes, before I can even finish a sentence... he avoids me. It's like he's running from me."

Charlie looked into the bottom of her mug, turning the now empty dish in her hands. "...Well, in times like this, we don't want the help. Especially if our pride is involved." she smiled warmly at you, her usual determination now back in her eyes. "But I know someone who would stop at nothing to help him."

Your footsteps sounded much louder in the silence of the night as you climbed the stairs up to Alastors suite. You glanced at the lights, remembering the green sheen and how the swirling shadows in the dimness had made your skin crawl. But the staircase was dipped in the usual golden light, nothing amiss, nothing scary. There was only a faint sound, almost like a static, hanging in the air. Alastors own wards and spell protecting his space, you were sure. Which left the possibility of him already knowing you were on your way. For a moment you hesitated - was it of use to go to him when he'd possibly already fled to evade you? A few nights ago you might've retreated. But after two weeks of watching your friend suffer, your determination prevailed, and you knocked, firmly and resolutely.

A second of silence. Then another one. You raised your hand to knock again when the door swung open - And Alastor stood before you, his grin in place, yet there was a sense of exhaustion seeping through his mask. He seemed taken off guard, obviously he wasn't expecting someone to come visit him late at night, so your prediction had been proven wrong. It was very rare to see the radio demon in anything else than his usual attire. But he was standing before you now, in a scandalously casual ensemble: A crimson robe over an open collared black pajama shirt showing some of his usually hidden, taupe fur, the silk tie loosely knotted at the waist, black matching trousers and without shoes.

"It's mighty late for a visit, dear." His voice held a sharpness and rough edge. But the tired, dull expression behind the grin was already crumbling when he gazed into your face.

"I wanted to see you. I'd noticed you weren't... doing so good after what happened."

He cast his glance everywhere but to you, avoiding your concerned stare. "I've told you before, your concern is absolutely unnecessary dear, I'm fi-" "Alastor, please." you interrupted, gently taking his wrist into your palm to halt his hand from waving his way out of the conversation. You looked at him, and he tried not to look at you, but slowly, oh so slowly, his gaze slipped back to your face, and his composure visibly started to crumble, his grip on his tactical expression slipping like sand through fingers. "I'm not here to judge you. Or to berate you. I'm worried."

He chuckled bitterly, closing the distance between you as his whole stance now seemed to curl. "Worrying is not necess-" "Probably." you shrugged, your hand sliding from his wrist to his cold fingers. "But friends worry, when they see the person they care about suffer." "Friends are a bother." his eyes flickered. "That's true. And yet they care."

He let his head bow forward, and suddenly he reminded you so much of that dark, trembling creature you found on his bed two weeks ago. You never thought the powerful Radio Demon would allow himself to appear like this in front of someone consciously. But maybe you weren't just someone... to him. The thought made your pulse flutter.

"I find myself unable..." Alastor started, his eyes staring at your intertwined hands. "...to find rest these days. I don't feel the need to sleep as frequently as your fellow residents, but... the incident, the dream, what happened - it seems it has rattled me more than I care to admit. What you did for me and what I did to you in return..." He chuckled, but it sounded much weaker, lacking his usually cheerful mockery as his free hand hovered over the side of your waist where the fresh scar sat under your clothes. "The thought of it being repeated feels unbearable."

"That's why I'm here." You squeezed his hand. "I've seen you at your worst and still came back, because I wanted to tell you that I'm neither weary nor scared. And that you don't have to bear this burden alone, Alastor. Please... let me help you."

The Radio Demon stood still, and for a moment you thought he'd retreat again, but then his shoulders relaxed, and the grin melted into a small, tired smile. His hand tightened on yours and he sighed. "Well then, come inside."

As you stepped into the familiar room, you noticed the difference immediately. The curtains were drawn, the lamps were on and the record player was playing quietly, a melancholic jazz piece filling the silence. Alastor had done his best to keep the memory of that night away by repairing the walls and furniture and replacing the shredded bedding and mattress of his bed with brand new ones. So new in fact, they looked like they were never touched.

"Please, take a seat." he gestured to one of the two wing chairs by his fireplace, now burning in warm oranges and scarlets rather than the eerie green you remembered, and as you settled down he joined you in the other opposite to you. The silence hung between you for a moment, neither of you really knowing what to say next. He was intently watching the flames dancing on the scorched wood, and you studied his profile, the soft, dark fur of his ears, his thin, elegant nose and the deep crease between his eyebrows. You had never seen him lower his guard this much. Well, that wasn't quite true - once, in this very room, although under much different circumstances. You could see his hand, resting on the arm of the chair, twitch as if it were fighting an impulse.

"It's funny, isn't it?" he started, his voice a bit too light. "I'm a powerful entity in hell, able to rip and tear and destroy. A feared, powerful, dangerous overlord. And yet I seem to be rendered helpless by my own mind. Laughable, really."

"I'm not laughing." you said quietly, and his head turned towards you, a raised eyebrow and a hint of amusement in his expression.

"Indeed you are not."

"And I think you are far from helpless." You continued, a small smile appearing on your face as you watched a little flame wind itself from a knothole, gaining volume and fizzing strongly. "I've never met a demon as strong-willed and determined as you, Alastor. I think the reason it has been affecting you so badly, is because you have power over everything else. But when it comes to the things happening inside your own head - when you are asleep - you aren't in control, and that can be terrifying."

His gaze was fixed on your face, the crimson of his irises shimmering and flickering. He looked... intrigued. And, something else. Something softer, that made your heartbeat a little faster.

"You are... a fascinating thing." he hummed, and his fingers started to drum on the armrest, his other hand fidgeting, still fighting that strange, hidden urge. "You seem to... calm me. With your mere presence, it feels... soothing. The thoughts of that night don't vanish, but they lose their grip. Like the tempest in me is being tamed." "Is that a bad thing?" you asked, a bit puzzled, and a bit amused.

"Yes and No." He answered, quickly and without hesitation. "I don't depend on others. It's unreliable. Too many factors are involved, and when you care about someone, it means you leave them with the ability to hurt you." His hand was tapping faster. "That sounds like a lonely existence." "Loneliness is the most reliable thing of them all. But..." he sighs and follows your gaze back to his fireplace. The small flame grew into a strong blaze, swishing and crackling loudly now. "...It is also the most draining. And I have to admit that I'm thoroughly exhausted, dearest."

"I'll stay with you tonight." You whispered, leaning forward and reaching out to take his restless hand. The motion surprised him, his eyes snapping back to you. "If you want to." He stared at your hand on his, the fire reflecting on his ruby eyes, and slowly, the twitching and drumming subsided, and his fingers curled around yours, a small squeeze.

"I believe I'd be glad for the company." he uttered.

For the next half an hour or so, you sat with Alastor in comfortable silence, both of your eyes on the flames and hands still intertwined as the jazz faded into blues, slow, melancholic and calm until the fire died down. Sometimes, his thumb drew little circles on the side of your hand, and you took it as an encouragement. His face was back to its tired state, though he didn't seem quite as guarded and withdrawn anymore. When there was nothing more than faintly glowing logs in the ember bed, you shifted your weight and gave his hand a careful tug. "Do you think it's time?"

He swallowed audibly and his eyes closed. "I suppose so." he smiled tightly, rising and pulling you up with him, and you both walked over to his gigantic bed, draped with fresh crimson sheets and matching duvets, untouched, spotless, pristine. He stopped before the side of the bed and for a few moments - he stared down, his grip on your hand almost painfully tight now. You tilted your head, giving him a reassuring smile.

"If you're uncomfortable about sharing the bed I can pull over one of the chairs, I don't mind..."

"Absolutely not." he turned his head, and you could see how flustered his expression was now. "Ah - I mean... no, dear, that's alright."

You left his side and rounded the bed, lifting the duvet without looking at him as you shuffled out of your slippers. If you were honest, you felt just as awkward as Alastor looked, not to mention nervous and anxious and a lot of other complicated things. But you'd be damned to show that now, and risk him retreating. So you settled in, slipping your legs under the heavy covers. They felt just as comfortable as they looked.

You noticed him hesitating on his side of the bed, unmoving, his hands halted at the knot of his robe. You adamantly looked away from him, overly interested in the obscure knick-knacks that were scattered in the cupboards on the opposite wall - it was clear he was struggling to shed his clothes in front of you, even if it was only an overcoat. You heard an airy, quiet chuckle and fabric rustling, felt the duvet lifting again and then a weight dipped the mattress next to you. You could feel Alastor shifting and settling, could hear the shallow, anxious breaths and were aware that his eyes were burning on the side of your head, and you realized that he, too, was doing a valiant job at keeping his composure. You leaned back into the pillows, then he snapped his fingers and there was silence. And darkness.

At the lack of light in your vision, your senses heightened and you took everything in much more intently. His body heat close, his breathing next to you, his faint scent of smoke and herbs surrounding you. How small the space between your bodies was, the last remaining inch a gaping ravine in your mind. The mattress dipped as his body turned, facing yours and now his eyes were right there, glimmering and deep red in the pitch black darkness, following your every movement as you shifted too. You felt your heart hammering loudly and you could almost hear the blood rushing through your body. And you knew Alastor could hear that. Hear your quickened breathing. Feel the warmth of you just as you felt his.

There was a tense, terrifying moment, stretched endlessly until your eyelids fluttered shut - you heard, as much as you felt, the bed dipping under his shifting body weight, and suddenly, the ravine was filled by him and he was all around you, pulling you in sort of a protective embrace as you were surrounded by his warmth. Your head fell against the base of his throat as he tucked your face into the crook of his neck, a shaky sigh leaving him as he wrapped his limbs around you. The sudden proximity caught you entirely off-guard - you knew Alastor had a deep aversion against close physical contact. The hand holding had been a huge success for you, a sign that his trust for you went beyond the ordinary. You had been fully prepared to honor a discreet distance between you and him as to not make him feel more uncomfortable, but to pull you so close like this, voluntarily at that, initiated by him, made you go rigid in nervousness at how to react to it. You could already feel him retreat, that awkwardness from before already flooding back between you as he felt your body stiffen.

"Aah... my apologies, dear, I didn't mean to get so..."

Your reaction was instant, almost instinctively, body already knowing what your mind still was figuring out. Your hands slid around his slender waist as you pulled yourself closer to him, since you believed actions spoke louder than words to soothe the conflict he was battling. One leg came to rest between his, you felt his hips brushing against yours, and your palm came to rest in between his shoulder blades and you buried your face into the warm fur of his throat, and all tension left him, as another, heavier, long-drawn sigh rumbled through him, and he curled his form back around your smaller frame.

"If I'll return to the dreams that caused such havoc..." he mumbled quietly, his tone unusually wavering. "Then I'll get you out again and help Niffty clean up the mess." "Silly girl, absolutely ridiculous." his breath tickled against your ear, but he sounded lighter already. More like his usual self.

His leg entangled between yours, the limb as muscular as his chest and shoulders had always hinted at. His hand was tracing shapes and unknown symbols onto your back, and you wondered if it was a form of spellcasting to keep you safe while sleeping. But whether it was, or just unconscious movements, the gesture alone was making your heart flutter. The fact that it was his very real, very physical, very touchable chest and hands that were pressed onto your barely clothed skin, providing the soft massaging, and the warm, comforting sensation of his body heat against your own - it was exhilarating and overwhelmingly, absurdly, beautifully intimate.

Friends.

You wondered if that word could describe you and the radio demon. There was something... so much more, at least in your head. So much deeper. He meant something different to you than the others, Vaggie, Charlie - something special. A deep emotional pull, an urge to always seek and - absurdly, knowing he was who he was - to protect, the need to understand. To care and to comfort and to feel his presence at your side. An inevitable, chaotic and maybe even borderline obsessive attraction you couldn't and didn't want to escape. It had already become evident to you, especially in these past two weeks, that you felt something deeper for the demon everyone in the hotel was so wary about. He was special to you, yes, an anchor in a world that could throw any horrible thing at you at any given time, a world that wasn't trustworthy nor consistent. But in a weird twist of fate, he was. To you, he was calmness, security, trust, consistency... happiness.

"...Alastor?" You murmured quietly into the darkness, feeling his cheek come to a rest on the side of your head.

"Yes?" he breathed back, voice laced with drowsiness. His hand kept its rhythmic circling motions on your back, and you realized there was a good chance for you both to drift into a blissfully undisturbed slumber like this, which would make waking up in each other's arms so much easier than the alternative.

"I... You're..." But as soon as you wanted to tell him, to say it out loud, words eluded you. Every sound, every combination of syllables suddenly seemed wrong, sounded stupid, like a horrendous mistake. Your heartbeat quickened and you felt a lump in your throat, your feeble courage battling with your cowardice as the idea of giving this whole idea up, putting those dangerous feelings aside and trying to suppress and pretend they never existed for the sake of preserving your one true friendship, fought back with everything it could muster.

It was such a terrifying leap. And wouldn't it be selfish? To burden him with your feelings, to most likely ruin the bond you had with him right now, which made both your lives better with a companionship so rare. Such an utterly idiotic, thoughtless move.

"Darling..."

You could feel a finger push your chin up and his lips were suddenly a hair's breadth from your own, his nose brushing yours and his warm breath ghosted over your skin. How easy would it be to close the gap now, fill that tiny remainder of space with your mouth and he would finally know what you were about to say. The mere thought made your stomach tingle and your breath tremble, you were aching for any form of confirmation that it would be okay, okay to have feelings for him. You'd accept anything he'd give you, even if it wasn't everything you yearned for - you'd take anything he was ready to offer.

"... isn't your principle that actions speak louder than words?"

A blink in the darkness. A gasp into the silence. And then he was finally closing the space between your faces.

Lips - soft and pliable, moving against yours. Tender, soft, firm pressure. A kiss that said everything words would never manage to convey. Your fingers clawed into the silky fabric of his shirt, your nose pressed against his jaw, tears brimming and stinging behind your eyes as you sighed deeply, relief crashing over you and bliss taking hold. It could've lasted for eternity and still would've ended too soon as he gently pulled away, leaving one more short, lingering touch to the corner of your lips.

"Now let's rest. We shall continue this discussion in the morning." he murmured tiredly as his hand resumed its massaging, this time brushing underneath the hem of your shirt as he settled back into his initial embrace. You laid in his arms for minutes with your heart still racing, but now you could hear and feel his too, drumming in his chest. Two rhythms, beating in wonderful, chaotic harmony.

"Sweet dreams." you managed to whisper, sleepily and content as his breathing flattened, his static quieted and his hands came to rest unmoving at the curve of your back.

And with a long, final sigh, the Radio Demon drifted into deep, calm, undisturbed sleep.

[lady-griffin]

Possible Idea for the Firelights in S2

Which I’ve fallen way too much in love with, btw

After the Firelight Base is attacked, where do they go?

Do they just go back to their broken, destroyed home? Try to fix it up? Can they even go back?

Do they disperse?

Or do they go to a location most people (especially those from topside) would have difficulty navigating if they didn’t know exactly where to go?

Like an abandoned mine of sorts? One with really large, giant machines suspended in the air that could be used as little community hubs, perfectly accessible for those with hoverboards?

It’s just something to consider.

Seriously, I can’t express how much I love the idea of Jinx’s lair becoming the new base for the Firelights. I love it way too much; I’m going to be crushed when it doesn't happen (which to be fair is totally on me).

The old mines would be perfect for the Firelights, especially in helping them recover and giving them a sense of extra protection and security after what they’ve gone through.

Maybe it’s not permanent, but it doesn't have to be, it allows them to stay together, so it’s home for the moment

Destroying their base, likely making them scared to return, is an ingenious way to physically separate a group of people who are loyal to one another and fight well together, but this way they wouldn’t have to disperse.

It seems like the mines are well-hidden and isolated, with a lot of natural defenses – it’s been abandoned for a long time, there’s probably a complicated tunnel system to the cavern, and it has multiple physical locations (the drill/fans we’ve seen) that others (their enemies) can’t easily get to.

There are probably a few like Jinx’s lab, where they connect to the tunnels that lead outside, but the few we’ve seen in the background, seem pretty inaccessible – unless you’re a group of people who can fly.

There’s also the idea of Piltover and Noxus winning the day and those who’ve been pushed to live underground having to retreat further down to be safe.

But it’s not a defeat, it’s just a retreat. They’re still here.

I also really love the idea of how this place once represented darkness and the abyss, basically daring you to look down, especially when compared to Ekko's original base for the Firelights, representing light and hope, encouraging you to look up.

It’s still the same place it was in S1, but it's changed with all these other people sharing it with Jinx.

Not because she was forced to, but because she chose to open her space to others, one that was solely hers and we only saw her and Silco there.

But now it's filled with others, who've impacted and changed it with their own touches of color and graffiti and when we look, we see there are all these little pockets of light and color in the dark abyss.

There's still darkness, but it's no longer all consuming.

And I don't know, the idea just warms my heart so much, and I really, really want to see it.

Also, I can’t fully tell, but when Ekko is pulling the chain in the trailer, the area is dark and it could be a cave. So, maybe? Again, it’s hard to tell.

Seriously though, I love this idea so goddamn much!

[adultish-momma]

High Horses and Lashing Vipers

Two prideful people fight in a kitchen. That's it, that's the fic.

Warnings!(?): Jamil and Yuu curse. A lot. Nothing too extreme (at least I don't think), but there are quite a few f bombs. I headcannon that Jamil curses a lot in his head so when he feels safe enough to speak without a filter that translates to real life.

A/N: Can you tell which trope Yuu and Jamil would be after this fic? No but honestly I mentally come back to this fight all. the. time. I've had most of this dialogue in my drafts for almost two years? So I figured it was finally time to put this piece to bed. Hope you all enjoy!

As always please do let me know if there's any warnings you think I've missed!

"How's it feel?"

They startle him, appearing like a ghost to haunt him with his failures. He cuts them a mean side-eye, glare intensifying at the disappoinment radiating off of them.

"How's what feel?" He hopes his words drip venom. He feels like he can still feel the poison from the ink racing in his veins. Part of him hopes they still feel it too.

"How's it feel knowing you had the entirety of the Scalding Sands in the palms of your hands, and you threw it all away?"

They can't be serious.

"Threw it away?" A derisivie scoff. "You took it from me. I had it, and you and those meddling mer-fucks ripped it away from me!"

"Please, your little coup hissy fit was nothing. You threw away any ounce of power you had when you decided to betray Kalim."

At this point Jamil is seething, that same viscous and angry feeling from the Overblot seeping into his pores. His vision blurs at the edges, eyes narrowing in on the insolent street-rat that dared oppose him.

"I have more power than Kalim could ever hope to possess. That pathetically naive child -"

"Owns your whole world. Your broken, fucked up caste system is maintained by those at the top, and it can be demolished by those at the top. And that child would have delivered every bit of social change you ever craved for on a fucking silver platter with a beaming smile on his face if you had asked for it when he trusted you."

"You have no idea what you're talking about -"

"No Jamil, you don't. You're still too blinded by your ridiculous need for what? 15 minutes of fame? Recognition? Validation from strangers who know nothing about you?"

"It's what I deserve!" he hisses. With every word, he steps into the prefect's personal space, backing them up until they have nowhere left to go. "That sniveling fool gets praised for being able to wipe his own ass, while I slave away keeping his dumbass alive and running this whole dorm and upholding my own grades and clublife and catering to his every fucking whim! So yes, Prefect, I do deserve to be worshipped and idolized just as much if not more than my master."

"YOU WERE!" They explode, forcing Jamil retreat lest he end up even more in their crossfire. It's the first time they've lost their composure, voice echoing off the kitchen tile. "You were idolized! This whole dorm never shut the fuck up about how good you are, how talented and disciplined and hardworking you are. And Kalim?"

"Stop." It's uttered threw gritted teeth. He can't bear to hear it anymore, not from anybody, but especially not from them.

"Kalim damn near worshipped the ground you walked on."

"Just stop."

"No. Because you're still not listening Jamil."

"Stop. Talking."

"You were number one in the eyes of everyone who mattered Jamil". It's said softly, whispered into the charged space between them. Damning words. Everything he's ever wanted to hear, and yet the straw that breaks the camel's back.

"GET OUT!"

It isn't until Jamil can't hear the prefect's receding footsteps that he thinks over their original question. "How's it feel?" Looking around the school kitchen (the only place that feels safe from the disdain of his dormmates on this entire campus), his eyes fall on the still dirty pots from the last time he was in here.

Jamil closes his eyes, and he can hear the Ramshackle residents laughing over the sounds of crockery clanging and pots bubbling. He can see it, the way they looked him in his eyes that first night, agreeing and trusting him before he could even think to use his unique magic. He can hear the smile in their voice over the din of the welcoming feast, and he can see them almost glowing under the moonlight.

Closing his eyes allows Jamil to recollect the way Kalim looked at the prefect.

He opens his eyes and still sees them backed into a corner, sees the self-righteous fire still burning behind their eyes. Eyes that stared him down. Despite knowing exactly what Jamil is capable of, Yuu still looked him in the eye, trusting him.

"How's it feel?" he ponders aloud. And slowly, a smile spreads on his face. "Freeing".

[sloanesallow]

Happy New Year

Happy is a relative term. I'm hopeful that 2025 will be kinder to me, after a not-so-great 2024. Sure, there were a lot of great moments this year, but it's been difficult for me to be in a positive head-space lately.

It does feel good to get it all out though, so here goes:

The year started off well enough.

I finished writing MMHS, and started my next project, The Call of the Void. I wrote for almost all the monthly writing events on the OHL server, and was keeping up with my friend's fanfics.

Somewhere over the summer, I developed a horrible case of imposter syndrome and was struggling to get past it. It's still something I fight every day. It was easy to push aside and fight through, but then in November, my personal life fell into shambles.

My cat, whom I've had since he was born, died just shy of his 18th birthday. He had a stroke on 11/4, and then just didn't recover, passing on 11/13. The grieving process hasn't been easy, and I still find myself incredibly devastated by his loss. Nothing in my life has felt normal since he died, and unfortunately, I have not received much sympathy from my family, who believe I should be well past the sadness by now.

Then I got sick with the flu, and it was the sickest I've been in years, leaving me bedridden for a few days, and even two weeks later, I still have a horrible cough. During this time, I realized that I don't have anyone in my life (physically) that I can rely on for help. I've always prided myself on being independent, but sometimes you want to be cared for, and when there's nobody there, it can lead to a kind of loneliness that is unshakable. I tried to reach out and ask for help but was closed off or shut down, so I retreated. I've been trying to keep the few (offline) friendships and connections I have with people alive, but the effort isn't being reciprocated, so I've given up. Knowing they will likely not notice or care that I've disappeared from their life brings a different kind of heartbreak. My body and mind were broken down and it threw me into an even deeper depression.

I'm not one to linger in depressive states, but this melancholia has lingered. I fell into a head-space where every little thing makes me sad or irrationally angry, and all I do is cry (when previously, I cry maybe once a year). Trying to fight through it is a monumental task; it's hard when you can recognize your own toxic behaviors and try to correct them. It leaves you trapped in a cycle of fighting your own thoughts, trapped without seeing a way out. I stopped doing anything except work. I haven't really been taking care of myself, and have been self-isolating so I don't bring others down with my dark cloud.

All this to say, I've also lost my creative spark. I've lost all my confidence in writing, due to this depression, and haven't been able to crawl out of the hole just yet. I really tried to last month, but I still felt empty. I hate it about myself, but I crave validation, and when it's not received in the way I hope, I shut down. I feel like I've been pouring my heart and soul into stuff so it hurts when there is little to no feedback. I'm grateful, and will always be grateful for the people that engage with my work, but it's hard. I never want to be an obligation and want people to be here because they want to, not because they feel they have to. Most days, I feel like a black sheep in fandom spaces, or at least like the odd one out in writing groups. I know this is my own evil brain but there are a lot of times when I feel unwelcome, or forgotten, or an afterthought. I know I cannot expect to be welcome everywhere, or liked by everyone, but it still hurts me deeply, especially when it's obvious I'm not wanted. Growing up, I've never been anyone's first choice, so this mentality is hard to shake.

Okay, so now that all the bad feelings are out in the open, you know why I've been so MIA the last few months. I really am trying, though most days are spent just trying to exist. I'm searching for little bouts of joy from wherever I can find it.

Thank you to everyone who has been here this year, supporting me and my manic brain. I'm grateful for the friends I've made, the art I've shared, and my place in fandom.

What I hope for 2025:

Write, of course. Without being too harsh on myself. Write for myself.

Read more, and support the community I love.

Take more social media breaks, to better my mental health.

Be kinder to myself.

May you all have a happy and safe New Year. 💛✨

[vanillyanmocattio]

agere sensories - auditory (sounds)

seeking:

You can make spotify playlists, youtube playlists, or even make your own private folder with agere songs/asmrs on your phone! One things i love about the internet is how easy it is to find and download songs, use it to your advantage!

To movie loving or game loving littles, you can look up [insert media you're looking for] OST - Official Soundtrack. If you're looking for shows, OP is opening, if you want a longer version of a soundtrack you can look for an extended version, and game specific, if you like the instruments you hear in a certain game, you can look for a soundfont cover

There is a ton of musical and sound toys! Toy instruments, recorders, xylophones, kalimbas, kazoos, music boxes (god i love these)! There are also electronic toys, talking toys, dog toys (hi and love you pet regressors), bells, rattles (you can even make your own)!

For calmer noise seeking, search animal videos! What sound does a duck, or a fox make? Asmrs can also be satisfying, like toy unboxing or various tingly videos (be careful - not every asmr account is sfw!)

go outside if you feel like it! Even something as simple as rain can be stimulating, let alone visiting a park, a store or even arcades. Just remember about your limits and prepare yourself just in case.

You don't need to have stim toys to generate noise! Pen clicking, coins or keys jiggling, zippers, even your own voice, clicking your tongue, making animal sounds.. Having agere gear is great, but it doesn't mean you can't use what you already have!

Also, you can bird watch from your window! It really helps me slip into the little space, and listening to the pretty chirps is so nice! You could get a bird house and bird seeds over your window, and watch the little friends visit over the winter!

video games/phone games are very noise stimulating! especially rhythm games (like a dino, cough cough). The age range is also vast for them, from toddlers to teens to even adults! Did you know there's even a method of accessing flash games?

cartoons and anime are also stimulating! specifically targeted at the older audience (older kids/teens), they're a burst of sounds and colors! I think 2000s/2010s especially fit that energetic feeling, so does shōnen and magical girl genres! (Just check the age rating before starting!)

If you have friends who also age regress, meet up! a bunch of littles in one room WILL generate a lot of noise!

avoidant:

ear mufflers, headphones, ear phones, ear plugs. Protect your ears! It's completely normal, don't worry about it

visit places when the traffic is down, or within quiet hours (some places have it for autistic people, though as far as I can tell it often doesn't include lights so I didn't mentioned it in the visual avoidant)

museums! Libraries! Parks (out of regular hours)! forests!

whenever you're traveling, keep track of potential quiet spots

as much as i love my quiet time, please do not sacrifice sleep for it! You could get up early (6 AM, 7 AM) to still have quieter time, but your nini time is sacred!

visit places out of season (most often autumn/winter)! They sometimes are cheaper, and you get the benefit of not many people attending

give yourself a designated nap time. Turn off the noise, cover the windows, limit other sensories that give you discomfort, and take a rest (not necessarily a nap dw)

have someone to shield you from the noise. Maybe it's a companion plush, maybe It's a CG, maybe it's a friend. Having something to redirect your thoughts to in tough environments is a game changer! But it shouldn't be a replacement for other support

It's good to have a list of things you're okay or not okay with if you're sensory sensitive. Sometimes we get so excited that we forget our limits, and later get overwhelmed, and it's okay! However you may want to keep track of it to potentially limit your distress.

It's okay to retreat if things get too much. Age regression is your coping mechanism, and nobody else's, only you can dictate your boundaries. Stay safe <3

[wonder-worker]

It is said Elizabeth Woodville retired to Bermondsey Abbey 1487? Did she live humbly at the time of death?

Hi! To get straight to the point - we don't actually know when Elizabeth Woodville took up residence at Bermondsey Abbey. It is popularly claimed by most historians, including her own, that she moved there in 1487, but there is no actual historical evidence to support this date. According to J.L. Laynesmith's newer research, "this tradition [may have arisen] from confusion with the date of the council that Vergil said was the occasion on which her estates were resumed." In reality, Elizabeth could have moved into the abbey in 1487, or sometime in the subsequent years, or close to her death when she was ill and may have wanted to seek treatment. We just don't know.

I'm also personally hesitant to claim that Elizabeth was "retiring", because I'm not quite sure what she was supposed to retire from. For one, as the dowager queen who was mother to the queen consort rather than the King, her position was very anomalous and entirely unique, especially since the King's own mother, Margaret Beaufort, was alive and active. Elizabeth was not stepping back from any role she could have otherwise played, because there was no role or precedent for her to play in the first place; no post-Norman queen had been in a position like this before. Secondly, while several dowager queens and noblewomen had the option of managing their estates during their widowhoods, we know that Elizabeth's dower lands had been transferred to her daughter in May 1487*. So, considering she lacked both options traditionally available to dower queens (the role of king's mother and major landowner), there was really nothing that Elizabeth could have actively been "retiring" from. Her residence in Bermondsey could have been a retreat of some kind...or could have been a pragmatic living arrangement, a way to give her daughter space to establish herself as England's new queen, or simply a desire for an alternate residence that gave her some privacy when required. Or something else altogether. Once again, it's unclear.

(It's clear that Elizabeth would have had a visibly powerful and direct role in governance during her own son's minority and reign, as described here).

We also don't even know if Elizabeth resided in Bermondsey Abbey permanently. For example, in July 1486, we know she leased a mansion within Westminster Abbey called 'Cheyne gate'. Arlene Okerlund believes this is proof of her religious commitment and desire for seclusion, but as Susan Higginbotham pointed out, Elizabeth could have simply been "interested in obtaining a residence convenient to the court when it was at Westminster". We don't know if Elizabeth ever even stayed at this residence, and if she did, we know for a fact that it was temporary, because she ended her life in an entirely different abbey. In my opinion, the same logic and same questions can and should be applied to Elizabeth's stay in Bermondsey. It's entirely possible she had other residences she was living in, or even a place at court, that we simply don't know about, due to a lack of surviving evidence and/or a lack of sufficient research.

What I want to point out is that Elizabeth very much was present for at least some court occasions in the years after 1485. She took a central role in the christening of the dynasty's new heir, Arthur, standing as his godmother and presenting him with a 'rich cup of gold'. (She took precedence over king's relatives, including his mother Margaret Beaufort, who doesn't even seem to have been present for the occasion). She was present during her daughter's childbirth confinement and received the Luxemburg delegation. She was also recorded attending mass and receiving papal envoys along with her daughter, son-in-law and Margaret Beaufort in 1489. We also know that Elizabeth was considered as a potential wife for James III of Scotland, which would enable her to possibly again take up the role of queen consort once again, though his death in June 1488 prevented this from potentially materializing (it was by no means guaranteed, though*). So, whether or not she was residing in an abbey or somewhere else or alternating between different residences, it's clear that Elizabeth remained firmly connected to court. She may have been with the royal family on other unrecorded occasions, such as the time when Henry VII ordered the Exchequer to pay her some money "by way of reward for a tun of wine" in 1488 from Windsor Castle. We don't know - but the possibility is very much there.

This is getting into more speculative territory, but another thing to point out is that according to the Colchester journal, Elizabeth had originally petitioned parliament for restoration of her “castells and oder possessions that she was possessed of in King Edward’s day" in 1485. According to Lynda Pidgeon, this was initially turned down, although it was later confirmed that she ‘shall have and enjoy henceforth all such estate, dignity, pre-eminence and name as she should or might have had or done if no act of parliament had been made against or concerning her in the time of Richard III'. It seems to me that Elizabeth may have originally had very different intentions and expectations for her widowhood: she seems to have initially wanted to retain her own lands and administer her estates by herself, which was her right as dowager queen. It suggests that her priorities may have either changed over the years or were forced to change due to external circumstances (the financial constraints in the early years of Henry VII's reign, Simnel rebellion in 1487 which threatened her family, etc). It's unclear.

Lastly, it's often claimed that Elizabeth had "cultivated a lifestyle of comparative simplicity" (Laynesmith) by the time of her death. While we don't know this for sure, I think it's very plausible: she explicitly specified she owned very few goods in 1492, requested for a modest funeral that surprised the herald recording it, and wrote a very short and simple will in contrast to the elaborate ones of, say, Margaret Beaufort and Cecily Neville. But if this is true, we don't actually know when Elizabeth's decision for such a lifestyle came about, let alone what actually prompted it. Was it directly after 1485 (very unlikely, based on what I mentioned above regarding her petition)? Was it over the years due to now-unknown reasons? Or was it simply because Elizabeth was nearing her death, and this was her way of expressing acceptance/closure/penance? Once again, we simply don't know. There could be other reasons for her requesting a simple funeral as well - if she truly died of the plague (which seems likely), she may have wanted to avoid exposing her family to contagion. We can't presume to know her motivations.

Obviously, I dislike the popular idea that Elizabeth plotted against Henry VII and her own daughter and was subsequently banished for it. (This isn't limited to Yorkists/Ricardians but the vast majority of general histories, the vast majority Tudor historians - including ones I admire greatly like Lucy Wooding - and the most academic of Elizabeth's own biographies till date***). But I equally dislike the revisionist interpretation that she entered into a "quiet retirement" or "relative seclusion" post-1487 that Arlene Okerlund and the latest Fifteenth Century XX book are so keen to propagate, usually with exaggerated claims that she was "beyond conventionally religious" (there is no evidence of this). Like I said, we don't know when Elizabeth began residing in Bermondsey, we don't know why, and we don't know if it can even be called a "retirement". It's as much a stereotypical interpretation as the vilified one, and ultimately contributes to the exact same narrative - Elizabeth is conveniently shoved or nudged out of the way, forgotten and irrelevant until her death in 1492. It's just so disingenuous when you keep in mind that she initially wished to administer her estates and that she remained connected to the court. This is aided by the fact that analyses of Elizabeth during this time almost always focus on Henry VII and his circumstances rather than her circumstances or what she might have thought or wanted (see: her unique role as queen who was mother of the queen who lacked estates, etc), and it's...incredibly frustrating. I think historians just need to get comfortable admitting that we know significantly less about Elizabeth's life than we think, and that what we do know is incredibly haphazard and can't really be used to form definite conclusions on most things. Analyses of all aspects of her career have been hindered by their utter unwillingness to acknowledge this.

*We don't know what Elizabeth felt about the transfer of her estates, or her proposed marriage to James III, or the annuity she received from Henry (which was initially lesser than the 700 marks she received from Richard III in 1484, despite her degraded status from queen to the king's concubine with illegitimate children during Richard's reign, though it was also very understandable given the financial difficulties in Henry VII's early years). She may have agreed to them, she may have been prompted/pressured to agree by circumstances or by others, or she may have suggested/initiated some of these things herself. We do know, however, that she remained close to Elizabeth of York and appointed her as supervisor of her will when she died – so I personally think she would have wanted to support her daughter. At the very least, interpretations should keep their closeness in mind. **According to David Baldwin, the proposed marriage was supposedly mooted as early as 1486, before the Simnel Rebellion. The sources he provides are: Rotuli Scotiae, ed. D. Macpherson et al., 2 vols. (1814–19), ii, pp. 475–7. ***Beyond this one instance, I find it incredibly frustrating and ignorant/disingenuous in general when people try to downplay how widespread Elizabeth's negative image really is by claiming it's "only" propagated by the Yorkist/Ricardian community. I can assure you it's far more widespread than that and is used by most general/popular histories and historical fiction of the 15th century, regardless of which "side" they're on (also, there's an assumption that because most Ricardians hate Elizabeth, the opposite is true and that criticisms of Richard lead to sympathy for Elizabeth; but the reality is that the vast majority of histories and fictional works that critique Richard are equally critical of the Woodvilles). That's not even getting into how there are literally no actual reassessments on pretty much all important and controversial aspects of Elizabeth's life till date: her position as the first post-Norman Englishwoman to be crowned queen and what that actually meant for her on practical terms, her family's role in the factional conflict/divide in the 1460s (revisionist histories pretty much always dismiss it outright, which makes no sense as it very much happened and needs to be properly explored and dealt with rather than ignored), her highly unconventional position in royal councils, her role in 1483, the propaganda against her and the many unprecedented official accusations levelled against her, etc. As I said before, there is very lacking academic interest in Elizabeth's individual life beyond the bare basics, be it in popular vilified interpretations or more limited "revisionist" histories. That's completely fine, no one needs to or should should force themselves to study her, but people have got to stop simultaneously pretending that she has been adequately reassessed when she very much hasn't been. (ie: you can't "debunk" something you haven't even acknowledged in the first place, lol). Nothing that has been written about Elizabeth till date has ever come close to the excellent and genuinely revisionist analyses that have explored and/or vindicated several other "controversial" post-Norman queens of England (Empress Matilda, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Isabella of France, Margaret of Anjou, Anne Boleyn, etc) sans only Isabella of Angouleme. People need to stop claiming the opposite and start acknowledging reality.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

As an aroace I always wondered how it feels to be "in love" and how I realize if I am in love. I never had been or just didn't realized it but it happened that people started to tell me I would be and when I tried dating I realized pretty fast this wasn't the case and I was just feeling uncomfortable.

Since then I've been asking myself how do I know? Everytime I try to google how it feels like I just find how it feels for people who aren't on the a-spec. This is starting to drive me crazy. Especially because I'm almost 30 and everyone starts to tell me how I have to hurry and find a partner otherwise my life will be miserable because I don't have a partner and children. But what if I don't want that?

Right now I'm only putting so much preassure on myself because I'm scared of being alone later on even if I know I don't need or want such a relationship. For me it would be more than enough to live in a platonic houshold like a shared flat. All that is important for me is to have people around with whom I can talk to and spend some time with but also hide in my room alone if needed.

Yeah I don't want to live completely alone but I also don't want such a relationship and most of all I don't want kids. Just give me friends I can move in with and I'm happy.

Thinking about living with someone and have to spend 24/7 with them makes me feel so uncomfortable. I need my own space, my own room where I can go to for some me-time. I don't want to share EVERYTHING with another person and have no place to be able to retreat every now and then. It already makes me so uncomfortable when I see my parents and thinking about that this apparently is supposed to be my future. They have not a single room to themself, they have to share their bedroom, the living room, just everything and always have to make compromises how they want to set up the rooms and do stuff.

Don't get me wrong. I'm fine with doing that but again give me at least one room that's only mine and where I can do whatever and how ever I want to do things without taking another person into account and asking if this is okay with them. And I also want to make my own plans without having to ask another person first if it's okay all the time.

Sorry for the long text I just needed to rant because this bothers me for years now and it just don't seem to get better but worse and I'm sure I'm not the only one who has this problem.

In love can mean different things to different people, and it can feel differently too. I would say anyone or anything you care deeply about you can consider yourself to be in love, but this is also a term you can define for yourself. Being in love is also not something you have to experience or you have to want, some people never feel like they're in love, and that's OK too. I always feel like that ability to choose and define things for ourselves is a big part of the a-spec experience. And it can make things more difficult, but it can also be more fulfilling in the long run.

Not finding a partner by a certain age doesn't mean you're destined to be lonely or miserable. And some of the things you mention like wanting your own room/space or liking the idea of living with friends are definitely things I've heard other aros say they like too. This isn't an impossible situation, though it does involve finding your people, but people who want similar things do exist.

It sounds like you've been under a lot of pressure to fit a certain mold, or live your life a certain way. That can definitely be difficult, but know you're not alone. And that you're allowed to live your life in whatever way you feel works for you.

All the best, Anon! Take care!

[youroomwasquare]

Hey just wanna pop into your inbox and say: I think your analysis for Marcy really understands the core of Amphibia's theme (change) and the basis of Marcy's arc. I could nitpick with small details I don't agree with (saying that Marcy doesn't have confidence issues (Marcy tends to overcompensate thus coming off as confident but really they're a scared kid) or Marcy doesn't have control issues (Marcy has control issues in the sense that they did feel the need to drag their friends into another dimension (those these control issues do mostly come from a lack of agency in Marcy's life)) but honestly the core of the analysis is spot on. You entirely understood exactly why Marcy's arc went like it did! And I really liked you pointing out in your response to an ask about it that escapism is not inherently bad rather how much we let it take over our life is when it becomes an issue!

It was really refreshing to see someone take a look at the end of Amphibia, and realize that it really did do Marcy justice and personally I feel that it does justice to people who have those same issues in life AS Marcy. Showing us that change will happen showing us that we will never be alone even if there is physical distance even if our relationships change even if things change that doesn't mean that life is over. The end of Amphibia I feel like a is a love letter to the fact that life is not stagnant, change is not an ending it's just a new chapter. And we see Marcy after the time skip have that agency in a world that isn't Amphibia by Marcy CHOOSING what they want to do in life. Hell we see that set up for that agency when Marcy rejects the CORE. Marcy finds healthy coping mechanisms Marcy finds a way to indulge in fantasy that isn't being consumed (or assimilated). It's something that's so wholly them how can you possibly be upset that that's what they did with their life! It's looking kids like Marcy in the eyes and saying "things get better. Throwing your life into fantasy will not save you from change but that does not mean you are doomed."

Marcy's sort of "unfinished arc" is a beautiful love letter to growing up. Just like how Anne and Sasha's arcs are love letters to growing up in their own ways.

I just wanted to say thank you for such a refreshing take :]

this is so 🥺🥺. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! I read your message and was on cloud nine the entire rest of the day, this message warmed my heart SO MUCH. aaaa I cannot thank you enough for connecting with it and sending such a lovely piece of writing in response :,) looking back on my analysis, I do agree that some of my points were a bit off ahaha. especially the point I made where marcy was 100% self confident in herself.. oof. during her stay in amphibia, while marcy DID grow into herself, and was truly able to see the extent of her skills and knowledge, she still had a ways to go when it came to other aspects outside of her intelligence. and you brought up a very good point, in that marcy does tend to overcompensate in order to be well liked!! but I've never even thought of the idea that marcy could have control issues. and I love this point!! you're SO right-- marcy had a lack of control when it came to what she truly wanted, so sending them to amphibia was her way of trying to gain back control & not feel extremely helpless. agh, I love how all the girl's issues seem to bleed into one another. I'll definitely think more about this, thank you for the amphibia brain food :) your whole last paragraph, yes, this, exactly. marcy's journey IS a love letter to all those like her-- kids who are (or have been) terrified of all the change that comes with growing up. kids who retreat back into their safe spaces-- the things they've known their entire lives-- for comfort amidst all the turbulent times. kids who will eventually learn, through one way or another, that change will always be present. but that it doesn't have to be a bad thing!! "even if things change that doesn't mean that life is over"-- this, to me, perfectly encapsulates the entire message of amphibia. the epilogue showed that life goes on. amphibia healed-- the amphibians healed, grew into themselves, and finally got the chance to live the lives they wanted to. amphibia honored the impact the girls made on them, and mourned their absence (and still mourn in some ways). but they still kept living. and they still carry all the memories, experiences, lessons, and love as well. the girls continued to live as well-- and they still honor amphibia in their own ways. we see it so much in the epilogue!! to me, it shows that nothing truly ends-- even worlds apart, they all still live on and still continue to love and still let new people in, and are able to let them go if needed. because of that experience they all shared together-- they all still trickle into every friendship, relationship, and connection the others have.

***

the girls learned through their experiences in amphibia that change IS scary. and that it's okay to acknowledge that. and that there are so many people going through the same thing as them. and in that way, they will always have a connection. the girls are not connected forever because of their experiences in amphibia-- amphibia ended. what they are connected by though, is the fact that they will always have a place in each other's lives. and the love that radiates out of all of them-- for each other, and for their friendship as a whole.

"The end of Amphibia I feel like a is a love letter to the fact that life is not stagnant, change is not an ending it's just a new chapter"-- I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THIS!! and it's actually how I view the marcy from the end of the show. one of the beauties of marcy's unfinished arc is that marcy now has all of the time in the world to choose who she wants to be and what she wants to do with her life. she has so many lessons to learn, people to meet, tears (both happy and sad) to shed, smiles to make and love to share. amphibia may have ended, but for marcy-- it's a whole new beginning. the possibilities are so endless.. and that's such a good feeling!!

growing up is hard to do. we see that all the time in media, reflected in our own experiences of growing up. I'm so happy the calamity trio exists. I relate to them so much already-- I cannot wait to see the ways I'll continue to relate to them as I keep growing.

[coconuttz]

pov: you’re a (fashion) student without a support system ♡

ik it can be daunting to build a support system when you have no one... especially when you’re surrounded by a sea of creativity and talent and a culture of pride in doing everything alone (ifyky, no shade); but don’t fret, because I’m here to share how to build that support network from the ground up, just like I had to do. it can be overwhelming asf but it’s totally possible! here are some strategies (this is what i did in the midst of a massive depressive episode) ☺️✨

listen linda, i was a social butterfly. i say this because when i'm depressed i retreat if i can find an escape. we live in a day and age where your whole life can be remote/digital if you want it to be (thx to a remote job, online school, zoom calls with friends if u even see them). imo it can be a sustainable lifestyle for a suprisingly long time... till it's not. i digress.

it’s okay to start alone. being a lone wolf gives you the freedom to explore your style and interests without the influence of others. it can be lonely, sure, but i can be freeing. in my vulnerable moments where i felt alone but was authentic, i attracted ppl who mean the world to me today. so know being alone is temporary. or at least, try to tell your brain that. better yet, don't try; tell yourself this every day:

♡ My authenticity will draw in those who appreciate me for who I truly am.

♡ I am enough, even when I am alone.

♡ In my own space, I can discover who I am without distractions.

♡ I am resilient; I can navigate through the quiet moments.

♡ I attract the right people into my life.

♡ Even in solitude, I have the strength to thrive and emerge stronger.

♡ My alone time is sacred and necessary.

♡ I believe in my ability to build a supportive community.

♡ I give myself permission to feel and to heal.

Each phase of life has its purpose, and I trust that my time will come.

♡ tip #1: touch grass later. for now, get online. find other fashion students who *inspire* you. whose values align with theirs and their content makes you feel good. don't follow people just because they work in fashion-- look for peers, who are studying as well. peers are so important to have through every stage of life <3 follow fashion students and i recommend actual professionals who inspire you. not fashion influencers necessarily, but people who work in fashion professionally, maybe they're a designer or art direct or magazine editor. these folks to to have content that's inspiring and motivating! survey for yourself, you have to be careful what you feed your brain without even realizing it! anyways, engaging with their content in meaningful ways can lead to conversations, friendships, ++ even mentorships. don’t be shy about reaching out when/if you're ready. if you don't want to, thats ok too!

♡ tip #2: most fashion programs offer various resources like internship apps and networks (like a school handshake!) or apprenticeshhip, workstudy, study abroad etc. programs or workshops! follow your school on social media, they usually will have "career service" pages with rly great resources, and updates about networking events, etc. don’t hesitate to ask your professors for recommendations or support; they want you to do well! even if it feels awkward at first, getting involved in school activities is a great way to meet fellow students and form connections.

♡ tip #3: if you’re feeling brave, team up with fellow students for projects or study sessions. you can share ideas, critique each other’s work, collab on a pinterest board (lol) or just vent about a new yt video analysis video that xyz put up. plus, who doesn’t love a little fashion school brainstorming with (new) friends over coffee? speaking of, i'm gonna go make coffee. i have a problem. when i hear it, or even see this emoji ---> ☕️ i want one. brb.

ok, i'm out of coffee :( i made tea instead. but i still smell coffee. can anyone relate ??

♡ tip #4: if you're hesitant about reaching out directly, you can create opportunities for others with your shared interests to come to you. how? by sharing your own experiences and projects. you can post your work in communities like behance or github (to decide, to research on your industry, your niche, etc. and pick what works best for you! educate yourself in what's the latest in the industry, what's popular, make a pros and cons list. like actually take time to decide if u can! that way you don't have to migrate everything over to another platform later.

ok so for example, if you’re working on a design project, that could mean taking a course, or attending a fashion event, or you could share a post about it. one tip that's often used in marketing in general is to include a reflection or question that invites others to comment such as:

"Just wrapped up my latest fashion design project using 3D modeling software! Has anyone else tried CLO 3D? I’d love to hear your thoughts on digital fashion design!"

open ended questions like this when you share your work, an opinion, blog post, etc.makes it easier for others in the industry to connect with you and offer advice without you needing to initiate.

these are just a few tips for building a support system of you're shy, don't know where to start, are taking classes online and have a hard time meeting ppl, are depressed and everything's hard in general, etc. <3 keep your head up

till next time. my tea is ready.

[shamrock313]

Bill and Alida (August 7th)

This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Please take everything you read with a grain of salt. Enjoy!

I've finally given you Bill fans your reading and hurt myself in the process. I know I mentioned my oracles cards, but I had a hard time breaking them down, so oracle cards will not be added to the reading. Sorry!

Bill POV: 5 of Cups + Wheel of Fortune (rev) = He needs his space. There may have been some exchange of words either from him or Alida and that made someone remorseful. Feels bad for what was said. They just need time away from each other. WoF (R) Feeling stuck and disconnected. Let the issues you have go. Don't bring it up. There are some things that just can't be fix.

Alida POV: 4 of Wands, Fool, 3 of Cups (rev), 2 of Wands = So, if you're a tarot reader you know 4 of Wands is 11:11 aka soulmate card, now for those who aren't in the community, this is basically a way to say she's an important figure in his life. She was meant to be in it. The 4 of Wands comes with many reasons when it comes to partners. She could be in his life to teach him about relationships, they have children together, so she's in his life for a reason.

She feels that they are in a stable and secure relationship. Fool would indicated a rekindle/renew. Maybe after he gets done with press (I'm not sure if he's still doing it or not) then they might take some time to be together or even hangout with family. Doing something to keep the flame alive.

3oC (R) Their connection is lacking. This could also mean 3rd party coming in (gossip, infidelity, relationship issues like past disagreement, etc). It can be anything that's coming between them. 2oW means she wants to get things back on track. No more fights. No more holding in secrets. Let's get back to how things use to be.

I think once he's available they might do a couples retreat or family outing whether it be their own or with his family. It could anything, but she wants to keep things alive with Bill, but they need to make sure their issues (especially if it isn't anything big) needs to be let go.

Overall: Queen and Knight of Pent = With the Queen card, I'm just going to say this is the "mom card". Anything you can think mom related is to this card. Nurturing, children/fertility, or having motherly qualities that's this card. KoP is patient so there's no rush to get married. Slow and steady. They're not looking to get married. I think whatever they have now works for them.

[itsnotmyfaultsomepeoplecantread]

I'm tired of people arguing with me about dumb shit, so I made a list of what people are saying vs what I'm saying.

Things people (especially my "progressive" family) say are my fault:

- Literally everything

Things people in my life say are specifically causing problems for them:

- Being anxious

- Not wanting to debate my own validity

- Sensory overload

- Crying

- Being "weird"

- Preferences that affect literally no one else (food, movies, shows, clothes, etc.)

- Sources of comfort

- Babbling

- Feeling overwhelmed

- Retreating to safe spaces

- Focusing on one thing too long

- Being young

- Miscommunicating

- etc.

Things I do that are actually problematic that I've spent a decade in therapy trying to be better at:

- Emotional reactivity

- Emotional dysregulation

- Panic attacks

- Argumentativeness

- Anxiety/depression

- Rejection sensitivity

- Interrupting people when they talk

- Jumping to worst case scenarios

- Over-explaining and making things worse when I'm misunderstood

- Etc.

Things I was diagnosed for as a kid:

- Anxiety

- Depression

Things that didn't get diagnosed for until adulthood and separation from my family:

- ADHD

- Autism

- PTSD

- Degenerative and disabling medical conditions

- etc.

Symptoms of these conditions:

- See list 2

- Most of list 2 is symptoms of autism

Things I literally can't fucking change:

- Being fucking autistic

Things my own family doesn't want to do:

- Respect peoples' pronouns

- Stop fat shaming

- Stop hyper fixating on peoples' cultures/skin colors

- Stop having debates about my fucking disabilities

- Listen when I talk about things I HAVE DEGREES IN

- Listen to me at all??

- Go to therapy

Things I don't do:

- See above

Things I am willing to do:

- Listen to peoples' perspectives

- Change my opinions

- Adapt my communication style

- Try new things even though they make me uncomfortable

- A lot of things if they help people feel good

- Work on myself and reflect on my actions

Things people want others to change:

- Their identity

- Their pronouns

- Things we literally can't help

- Harmless quirks

Things they're willing to change:

- Absolutely nothing (they say this specifically)

Things people are asking of them:

- Criticizing literally every tiny aspect of someone else's life/saying they're just doing it wrong, without offering any genuine support

- Not complaining about the use (not even using, just the usage in general) of they/them pronouns

- Pretending to listen/empathize/care for five seconds instead of just rolling their eyes

- Have a single fucking ounce of sensitivity

Things I'm not asking them to do:

- Change their entire use of language

- Change their personality

- Become different people

-etc.

Things people say I and others are asking of them:

- "Walk on eggshells"

The only things I wish they'd actually do:

- Treat others like human beings

- Stop criticizing me for things I can't fix/change

- Stop yelling at me and saying I'm the problem

- Do their own damn research instead of asking me questions and then telling me I'm wrong

In conclusion, there's a reason I needed antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds forever, and I'm tired of that. So my new motto is that everyone can go fuck themselves, and if they have a problem with my existence, then they shouldn't be surprised if I walk out.

I am not perfect. But Jesus Fucking Fuck. No wonder I have so much freaking social anxiety.

[antimatterz]

okay okay, i’m getting out of my shell too bc trust me, i never know how to initiate conversations either but… do you have any headcanons for you and dan heng as a couple? 🥰🍁

i hope you’re having a good weekend and taking care, mwah !!

this has been in my inbox for so long and i'm so sorry TT but this ask has been on my mind the entire time and just, i loved thinking about it and here we gooo~

i'm super energetic ( adhd ayee ) while dan heng is more calm n quiet, so i guess that makes quite the interesting dynamic !! because of his calmth i manage to regulate my bursts of energy way better !! also i can totally see him secretly entertained by my hyperactive moments, although he wouldn't admit that. it shows from the tiny smile he tries but fails to hide hehe :>

once i feel at ease around someone i literally won't stop talking ( unless depresso hits ) and i can see him being a rly good listener !! so that's just right; dan heng lets me ramble while he listens patiently, paying close mind to my words even when i'm outing pure nonsense – he finds everything i say important !!

we don't rly go on standard dates such as to the movies or dinner at fancy restaurants but instead we love to retreat to a silent place and spend time together. it just suits us better, since we don't like busy places with lots of noise n all. whether it's stargazing ( which is pretty easy in space lol ) or hanging out in the archive room or cuddling somewhere quiet, we rly enjoy it !!

i'm not always happy, though. when the darkness hits i think dan heng is the perfect companion for me. he has a sweet side that he keeps especially for me and he rly pampers me in his own way when i'm not feeling well <3 he lets me complain, rant, cry, listening patiently until everything is out and then we just cuddle while he tells me everything will be okay :)

he's also my personal agenda. i'm very forgetful while his mind is very much more organized. so i will tell him everything that's important and he'll be like "remember your appointment at four." and "have you taken your meds already, angel?" and "don't forget to do do your laundry today." and suddenly, boom, he makes me function like a normal person :D ( somewhat )

he calls me "angel" <3 i have such a soft spot for that pet name and i can see him using it ( i can picture it in his voice and <333 )

he lets me pick out a phone case for him >:) as much as i love black ( i literally only wear black clothes lol ) i just think his phone case needs a little update !! but he soon has his mind set on a clear case with a polaroid of the 2 of us together behind his phone yay :>

i absolutely love taking pictures with my s/o and he lets me, secretly he loves it as well ^^

THAT GOT RLY LONG I GOT A LITTLE EXCITED SORRY !!!

again i apologize for getting to this so so so late thank you for coming out of your shell to reach out <3 HAVE A NICE DAY !! MWAH !!!

[sohannabarberaesque]

Postcards from Snagglepuss

Onward into the fall

Roll call, as taken by Huckleberry Hound as we were filling the motorhome with diesel fuel:

"OK, let's see here--Yakky Doodle?"

"Here!"

"Chopper?"

"Here!"

"Pixie and Dixie?"

"HERE!" (said in unison, and with a slight singsong)

"Touché Turtle?"

"Present and accounted for!"

"Dum-Dum?"

"Where else could I be if I wasn't here?" (Laughs all around)

Once the tank was fuelled up and things squared away, our motley little motorhome crew were off, heading into our fall adventures as were pretty much a few weeks over the fall with Crazy Claws at his retreat on the legendary artificial waters of Artificial Lake Delton by Wisconsin Dells even ... not to mention doing a few preparations for the winter diving experience Huck and I would be having with no less than the Peter Potamus Magic Divers, in the Divers' Delight even (as was formerly the Jolly Rodger from Yogi's Treasure Hunt, which you'll recall Huck and yours truly being among the crew of).

And perhaps one of my beloved favourite routings, along Highway 61 no less, the Great River Road even in her afternoon splendour of a mild autumnal-like afternoon as was enough to see the windows open and get some fresh air besides ... the splendour being somewhat evident as we spent a few minootas admiring the view from the Garvin Heights overlook at Winona. And you could spot a few tourists in the bargain there, too, and considering that, Chopper had to have Yakky on his shoulder and Huck took up Pixie and Dixie so tourists wouldn't accidntally step on such.

As for the tourists there ... selfie opportunity time in and of itself, with the panorama of Winona and the bluffs on the Wisconsin side below!

As we headed downhill, no less than Yakky Doodle couldn't resist describing the sheer beauty inherent for a late summer's afternoon. Admittedly, it's a little on the early side for fall colour, but you can certainly admit that when the time comes, the sensation therefor is sure to be sensational around these parts!

Arrival in La Crosse, at one of my beloved haunts even, the old North Country Steak Buffet ... as if all-you-can-eat steaks, steakburgers and grilled chicken breast weren't good enough, plenty of buffet-type schtick as well. Soup and salad bar, Mexican station, even dessert stations as well--which, even for that hilariously clumsy turtle known as Touché, couldn't be more irresistible. Touché's boon compadre, Dum-Dum, for his part, couldn't resist waxing amusingly in his own way about houseboating it with Bristlehound on the Mississippi, just partaking of tavern-style food (especially Friday fish fry) and relaxing the night on a sandbar somewhere on the river ... and Huckleberry taking stock of the halfway legendary home cooking on the buffet, even to where it meant seasoning the macaroni and cheese with Canadian steak seasoning.

"Which," Huck remarked, "does add some interesting flavour in its own way which common salt and pepper don't seem to provide."

Chopper, for his part, couldn't help but mention where some especially worthwhile seasonings sold under the name Pleasoning came out of that wonderful town, and might it be worthwhile, once our buffet was out of the way, to stock up on some ... request granted, even if the place that makes Pleasoning was starting to wind things down for the day. Not to mention picking up such not only for the road, but also to surprise Crazy Claws as well. And since the idea was to select only one especially worthwhile and versatile variety--well, you'll probably want to wait for the next such missive in this space to learn all.

*************

@warnerbrosentertainment @a-gang-of-silly-bananas @jellystone-enjoyer @iheartgod175 @archive-archives @themineralyoucrave @thylordshipofbutts @princessgalaxy505 @thebigdingle @screamingtoosoftly @warnerbros-blog1 @xdiver71 @theweekenddigest @indigo-corvus @warnerbrosent-blog

[fairqves]

𖠵 . ׅ ࣪ ⌇𝘐’𝘝𝐸 𝑁𝘌𝑉𝘌𝑅 𝐹𝘌𝐿𝘛 𝘚𝑂 𝐴𝘓𝑂𝘕𝐸

ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 𝑆treamer bf! 𝒿ake 𝓈im x 𝑓! reader 𝒢enre. angst 𝓢ynopsis. in which your boyfriend has been neglecting you for his streams ! 𝑤𝑐 𐙚ㅤㅤ 1152 ‎⸝⸝ not proof read pet names cursing kissing ୭ৎ requested — 𝓁ibrar𝓎 ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

PLEASE LIKE & REBLOG ! 𓂃

THE DIM GLOW FROM THE COMPUTER SCREEN SPILT INTO THE LIVING ROOM, CASTING A SOFT LIGHT ON THE DARK SPACE.

you sat on the edge of the couch, blinking harshly as you felt your eyes fluttering from the exhaustion after a long day at work.

you were watching your boyfriend jake as he had once again streamed to his growing audience.

his laughter filled the room, mixing with the sounds of the newest video game he's been playing.

but lately, it has been starting to feel like jake spends more time with his online community than with you.

the streaming schedule that once seemed manageable has become a time-consuming routine, stealing your boyfriend from you and leaving little time for anything else. — more under cut !

you miss the late-night talks, the movie nights you spent cuddled up together, and the simple joy of just being together.

"jakey," you call softly, hoping not to disturb him too much.

"it's getting late now baby, why don't you come to bed?"

he doesn't even turn around to spare you a glance, making you rub your forehead in irritation.

“hello? jake, i’m talking to you!”

“i can't right now, babe. i have to stream."

"but you’ve been at it for hours," you insist, your voice tinged with frustration.

"can’t you take a break? i need you..”

suddenly, he snapped in annoyance at your nagging.

"you're being clingy! i have to do this. it's my job, i need to provide for us y/n, go sleep."

the harshness of his words stung much more than you expected.

feeling hurt and rejected, you retreat back to the bedroom, where you had been sleeping alone for the past few weeks.

your heart was heavy with disappointment as you laid down into the bed, the distant sound of his voice serving you a painful reminder of how distant he had been recently.

days turn into weeks, and you found yourself avoiding him. you leave for work early, come home late, and spend as much time away from the apartment as possible.

you didn’t want to hear another excuse about why his streams are more important than you.

the emotional distance between you grew wider with each passing day.

one day, after an especially draining day at work, everything falls apart.

a project you had poured your heart into for months had gotten rejected, and a colleague you considered a friend betrayed your trust.

by the time you get home, you’re already on the verge of tears. you open the door to find jake sitting on the couch, a rare sight these days.

"hey baby! you’re finally home." he exclaims, his face lighting up with a smile, running to you with excitement.

"i haven't seen you in forever. how was your day? you don’t look too good.."

the concern in his voice is the final straw, your self control breaks and you burst into tears, sobbing uncontrollably.

jake rushed to your side immediately, his arms wrapping around you in an embrace that feels both foreign and familiar.

"what's wrong?" he asks, his voice filled with genuine worry.

but his touch only makes you cry harder.

"it's not just today," you manage to choke out.

"it's everything. i feel so alone, jake. all you ever do is ignore me, it's like i'm invisible to you."

“you don’t even sleep with me anymore, you sleep when i leave for work, and when i’m back you’re always streaming! did you even notice that i’ve been trying to avoid you?”

jake’s face fell in realization and suddenly, he pulls you closer, his heart breaking at your words.

"i'm so sorry," he whispers, his voice trembling.

"baby, i swear i never meant to make you feel that way."

you were angry, but you needed jake desperately.

you clung to him, your sobs quieting as he holds you, feeling his own tears dampening the nape of your neck.

"i miss you so much, jakey" you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

"i miss us."

jake presses a kiss to your forehead, his tears mixing with yours.

"i've been so stressed lately," he admits looking down.

"my payments have been getting cut, and i was trying to save up to buy you the car you’ve always wanted. i wanted to surprise you, but i ended up pushing you away instead— i’m so fucking sorry."

you pull back slightly with shock etched onto your features, looking into his eyes.

"a car? that’s so sweet of you jake, but i don't need that. i just need you, my boyfriend..”

he nods, his eyes filled with regret.

"i know. i see that now. i was so focused on trying to make things better for us that i didn't realize i was losing you in the process."

“you didn’t lose me, silly boy.” you joked as you left a soft peck on his pouted lips.

jake finally lets out a soft grin as he kisses you again, and it's like a balm to your wounded heart.

"i'm so sorry," he repeats, his voice breaking.

"i love you so much. please, let me make it up to you."

you nod, tears of relief still streaming down your face.

"i love you too. i just... i need you to be here. with me."

jake suddenly scoops you into his arms as you let out a screech— carrying you to the bedroom.

he lays you down gently, then climbs in beside you, pulling you into his embrace.

"i'm here now, baby" he whispers, his lips brushing against your temple.

"i'm not going anywhere."

you snuggle into his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your ear.

the warmth of his body, the softness of his touch, and the sincerity in his voice begin to soothe the ache inside you.

"i missed being in your arms so much," you admit, your voice muffled against his shirt.

"me too," jake says softly as he looked down at you with adoration.

"i promise, i'll do better. no more neglecting you for streams. you're the most important thing in my life."

you tilt your head up to meet his gaze, your eyes searching his for any hint of insincerity — but all you see is love and regret.

he leans down, capturing your lips in a gentle kiss that speaks volumes of love and promises.

for the rest of the remaining evening, you stay wrapped in each other's arms, sharing kisses and whispers of love and reassurance.

the hurt of the neglect began to fade, replaced by the rekindled warmth of your love.

as you drift off to sleep in jake’s arms, you feel a sense of peace you haven't felt in a long time.

jake's arms around you are a silent promise that things will be just fine, that he will always be there for you, and that your love is stronger than anything else life throws your way.

© FAIRQVES 2024

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