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#Eren’s expression here is pure hope and promises
aengelren · 11 months
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Two sides of the same coin
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hokusu · 4 years
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SNK is absolutely still the story it has always been and the one that I've loved from day 1, with characters that live up to who they are, and a message that means something. Contrary to so many opinions about it disappointing out there, I can't disagree more.
I love that SNK has always been about the fact that we don't have to do anything grand or have any specific purpose in life to live a life worth living. From "he's already special because he was born into this world" to Eren always chasing after freedom "because I was born into this world" to this chapter where Armin voices how he thinks he was born to live those simple, trivial moments where he enjoyed things/his friends, they may not seem like anything spectacular but it's precious to him and then finally, having even Zeke who still wants to euthanize Eldians, realize that life is worth living for the one moment he enjoyed--this message has always been clearly repeated in this story and it's beautiful.
Despite how cruel the world is, despite all the pain, suffering and actual hell they live through, there is beauty. Beauty in the small moments, beauty in people most important to you and spending it with them even doing something as simple as walking together or playing ball--it's not significant, it doesn't always have to be something major or even something that changed the world, but it can still be precious. And THAT right there is why this story is so powerful, so beautiful. A message that gives hope, that shows that hope exists even when the world is ending, just like how Armin says his friends are still trying to fight and haven't given up because in spite of everyone that has died, there's still those that haven't.
Life is worth living because they are born into this world, because there are things they enjoyed that they still remember even if it's trivial. Even Zeke admits that he wouldn't mind being born again and he wishes he realized that there was beauty in the day earlier. And I think that realization gave Zeke a well ended death (I never even liked him personally, but he died well and it was meaningful).
Speaking about the characters, I feel they are absolutely who they have always been. They all play their role, they all did what they had to do. Armin. Jean. Reiner. Etc. And yes, Levi, too. I've seen so much criticism about Levi not making the correct "face/expression" or how he killed Zeke without hesitation, but his shock features make perfect sense to me.
This is not Levi killing the "monster" he's always been going after time and time again, this is not the "beast" that tried to kill Levi. In these last moments of Zeke waving him over, this is Levi killing a human being. *Another* human, not a monster. This isn't a fight the way it was all the times before, this is purely one-sided Zeke inviting Levi to kill him and simply Levi doing what he has always had to do. Zeke is truly just another sad human that Levi has to kill (one of many he has killed time and time before), and when Levi kills him it's not a "I finally killed the monster" reaction, but a "this is another sad human I have to kill to end this war" and it's fitting.
They are quite literally in the middle of the end of the world, rumbling and all happening around them, so even IF it's obvious to Levi that this isn't a battle, that this is Zeke letting him kill him without putting up a fight, Levi knows what he has to do, so he does so. Their world has always been about split second decisions, no hesitation, no regretting the choices you make but making them on the spot because it can literally be between life and death as we have seen over and over. In this case, they've literally said in the previous chapters that the beast titan is their goal, that "maybe if we kill Zeke, it will stop the rumbling".
So yes, when Zeke appears, of course he's just going to kill him without hesitation. They don't have time to hesitate and they surely don't have time to "talk" to Zeke. It's not even about just fulfilling a promise or what people like to say "Levi only cares about killing the beast titan now", it's about the fact that they're trying to stop the rumbling here. What he did makes sense narratively and it's who he's always been. Also I completely disagree with those saying Levi has lost his purpose now because Zeke is dead, so he can die. Death is not freedom. Death is not happiness. They did not all fight so that they can die.
Anyways, there's so much more about this chapter and the characters that I love and so much more to take in. (Also yes, even Eren, I think post-time skip Eren is who he's always been and I absolutely am and have always been still in love with his characterization. I can't wait to see his final thoughts.) I don't usually say anything on SNK chapters because this fandom is literally one toxic or disrespectful to Isayama opinion I disagree with after another. But I'm feeling a lot for this story ending and I am in love with it as I have always been. It's a masterpiece and so are it's characters. Anyways here's my shit take into the void with it. That's all.
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levisgirll · 3 years
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hello! if it's okay can i please request a little levi comfort one shot or headcanons? basically where he helps his s/o through a point in her life where she feels like she isn't good enough for levi or anyone and is just a crying mess in her room? lots of fluff please! thank u so much <3
𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 (𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬) ♡
text: wow thank you so much sweet anon for your request!!💕💕 i took my time to write this because i wanted it to be special and tried my best so i hope u enjoy this :,) pls send another request if you want to later in the future! ( i like ur ideas-). also sorry this was super late, i was busy with personal things and it got really hard for me to handle which took long ;c
synopsis: you were going through a really hard phase in your life right now. thinking you are not good enough to anyone, and not just anyone but especially your boyfriend, levi. he knows you well, too well, and he knows something is definitely up with you. once he finds out the reason he becomes devastated and comforts you in his own way which you realize it was quite unique and rare.
okay but big warning this is super fluff which will warm your heart (i promise!), and a lil bit of angst I guess🥺💕 enjoy!
He started to pick this up when you did not say ‘love’ back to him and when you started to avoid him, and talk less with him.
He tries to go closer to you and I find Levi trying to find the the right words what to say to you and he struggles to get the chance to hold your hand.
This actually made him upset and I find Levi a guy who later goes back and reflects everything he might have done to upset his girlfriend.
And this is canon, because Isayama stated the scene with rod, when Eren stopped as soon as he said that ‘comment’ when Levi was behind him, this made Levi think that had to mean this is how Eren and probably the others sees him. So when you slowly started to avoid him or not reply to him, this made him sad and he HAD to find out how to comfort u! sure he got upset but he wont sit down and do nothing.
It hurts his heart, because you are his lover.
But one day, he entered your bedroom and saw you crying your eyes out. Holding on to yourself as you sat down on the edge of your bedroom, sobbing. This shocked him, and his eyes would be wide open.
Since he shows a lot with actions, when he sees you crying, he goes and sits next to you and starts to rub from the nape of your neck and going down to your back slowly, showing that he is trying to calm down your sobbings and that he is here for you. “Let it out love, you have been strong for too long so don't hold back your tears.” Levi would say as you started to calm down. His heart would hurt and be in pain as he sees his lover cry, he wanted to help but he knew that it was always good to let it out first and wait till you are ready.
He then would mention all the times you were so nice, great and the many things you have done for him and others (just to cheer you up a bit) that y/n never even acknowledged. “D-Did I do that? I can’t seem to remember...” You would say as you wipe your tears with your fingers, Levi would sigh and give you a small smile, “You cant be forgetting that? that's why you mean a lot to me.” as he ruffled your hair.
He would go on and say that if you had close friends, family, etc and then including himself, there were people who care and love you. “And, you know I am always rooting for you to pull though whatever phase you are going through. I want you...to feel happy again, Y/N.” He would say quietly and softly rub your hands while looking at your E/C eyes, he was also clearly blushing and he tried his best not to stutter (cause that's how he is when he has a heart to heart conversation with you and he wants you to feel his warmth and love through his words)
“Whenever your ready to tell me either tomorrow or in a couple of days, that is fine but just know...I'm here.” Levi would say and hug your chest so lovely, you finally calmed down and decided to tell him what was bothering you.
Y/N: “It’s just....I feel like am”
Levi: “Like?”
Levi would patiently wait for your response and still looking at your eyes waiting for your answer as he was holding your face with both of this hands. “Like I’m not enough for....you” you looked away and pulled your face away from his face.
He was looking at you with a hurtful look on his face. Levi feels bad actually that you been thinking like this around him this whole time. “I thought I made u feel somehow special, cause you make me feel like that.”
He moved away and was by your side, he touched your hand and was pulling your fingers that was on the bed. “I’m sorry you were feeling like this. But, what is enough to begin with? Isn’t just being who you are...the good, kind, badass and lovely person you are is enough instead? To be good is enough, and I value that about you..”
“Levi….Love.” You say as you hiccup from your tears. That signaled him to go near you, so he got a chair and brought that in front of you as you were sitting on the edge of the bed and he held your hands softly and carefully while brining his handkerchief to wipe your tears that was running down your cheeks. “You know…I don’t think there was a day I did not think of you or did not love you. I cant even think of a day where I wasn't....and instead the days you weren’t by my side my mind was just filled with you.”
He does small affections and talks from the bottom of his heart while looking at you filled with love, and it was only to you and that meant a lot. He wouldn’t even do this to anyone as he doesn’t let anyone see this side of him but y/n, he cherishes this relationship so much.
He starts to take this opportunity to compliment you when he was longing to do that but, never knew how and when cause he was really nervous. He starts to talk how pretty your eyes, scars, hair, lips, body and so on is.
As he is complimenting you, go would go near you and towards your shoulders to leave some kisses there while he would brush your hair with his slender fingers smoothly “Is this okay?”. He wants to know if what he is doing is making you feel calm so he would continue if you nodded. He then whispers to your ear as he closes his eyes, “do you feel my love?”
He will encourage your self-care and confidence, because he really wants the best for you and realize how amazing you are!
“You know, I would be a fool to leave you alone tonight. I promised you that I will do everything in my power to help you once we got together to make us happy, Hm? So let me remind you tonight how special and enough you are to me..”
He would hold each of your finger one by one and stating every reason how much you mean to him “...even your fingers cant match up to the many reasons why you mean a lot to me.” Levi said with a soft chuckle and you started to blush.
After you and Levi spent a long time together, you both laid down on your bed and y/n slept first which gave Levi the chance to stare at your beautiful face this whole night. He loves it when you sleep next to him as he held you with his strong muscular arms, because this makes him at ease and at peace, he loved your presence it was magical to him.
After that long evening, he doesn't stop to show you his love and how much he thinks of you so he leaves you flowers on your bed whenever he goes out on a mission or even to wall sina/rose and you find that so pure. I see Levi actually doing this for his s/o as he tries to make up for his lack of words(cause he is kind of awkward with romantic words but that is only because he loves u deeply!!) he leaves u these flowers and you collect them all in a vase and that makes him wanna get you more.
Your presence meant the world to him, and Levi does not just pick ‘anyone’ to be his significant other and he felt such a lucky man to find you instead. This guy really loved his girlfriend, y/n.
Levi starts to interlock your pinky, he took this chance to finally overcome his awkwardness and shyness and he would do it anywhere.
Whenever you guys go out to buy something Levi would not let you leave the shop until you pick something. “Go on then, pick what you like.”
If you ask him literally ANYTHING, he is more than happy to try his best to help you and if he might not be able to, he will get others that will help you. In the end of the day you are gonna get that help.
When you both clean and you are both alone while the others went off to clean the other places, he would go behind you and hug you tightly around your waist and breathe in “you smell nice love, and you look nice.” And he would give you a long and soft kiss on the nape of your neck. No one would even believe you if you tell them that he is now recently doing this, but that just shows how special, important and enough you are to him and not anyone can see this side but you ❤️
He actually goes out and look for you one evening and he takes you to a nice spot in the cliff and u guys star gaze together?? I really see Levi doing this to cheer up his significant other and he would make his move later on by putting his hand around your waist and would give you kisses on your cheek under the moonlight. “Wow, it’s a beautiful night sky” his girlfriend would say looking up with finally a smile on her, this made Levi extremely happy inside. “It sure is, love.” Looking at you instead of the night sky with his soft smile that warmed your heart. It made your mind race. You were the only one who made him feel like this and even smile. You were more than enough to him.
Y/N: “Can we stay a little bit longer?”
Levi: “Little? Tch, I don't mind all night for you.” He would say while looking away to hide his face cause he was being nervous and he knew his face was red now!
He likes to watch your face reactions and expressions to any of his tea he would make for you or some snacks he would buy for you, and he finds it so cute. It was another of many ways to show his affection towards you.
Things happen for a reason right? and this made you see more of Levi and your bond with him was now stronger than ever.
Now, whenever you feel sad or want to cry, you now realize you have a shoulder to cry on and it was your amazing boyfriend, Levi.
He is literally more than ready to drop everything and give you one big embrace. “Darling, just know I am deeply in love with you. And I’m here to help, I mean what are partners for, Hm?” 
Like how he is always here to save you, have your back, support you, he will surely do anything else for you.
i hope you liked this anon and you are able to see this post c: <3 and if anyone else perhaps enjoyed it please leave a like or a reblog! I would appreciate it a lot <3 thanks again everyone :,)
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flocholate-chip · 4 years
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Guilty pleasure
Floch Forster x reader
(I’m not sorry)
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You couldn’t help but to fine yourself going to visit floch in prison after he got arrested for leaking information about Eren’s arrest.
You can’t help but scold him for being so ridiculous, and he’s adamant to tell you all about how he could give less of a damn about your opinion and how he doesn’t want to hear it.
Yet even still, he can’t seem to understand why you come back to visit every single day. You don’t pay any mind to the other newly forming Yeagarist members’s only him. Maybe you don’t think he’s taken notice of this.... but he definitely has.
You can’t help it though... he’s an idiot... but he’s your idiot. You’re madly in love with him, and you couldn’t ever afford to tell him that. At least in your mind, that’s the way it is and that’s the way it will always be. But still, you can care for him in the best way you know how to do.
Each day, Floch doesn’t know how to tell you that he appreciates it all. He doesn’t understand... but he appreciates it. It’s shown in the way he get’s visibly flushed and awkward when you come around, and he becomes increasingly stand offish. He hopes maybe if he’s rude enough you won’t notice how red his face gets at the sound of your soft voice greeting him.
“Evening, Flochy....” with such a soft tender purr. Like you’re beckoning him closer and her refuses to answer your siren like call.
“What the fuck do you want this time, y/n... and- i told you to stop calling me that???”
You always only laugh... why do you just laugh??? Why don’t you leave? He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t want you to leave... why is he trying to make you leave.
Floch doesn’t like the way you make him feel conflicted..... when you slide warm home cooked meals for him under the door, it makes him feel conflicted. It makes him feel warm... and wanted... he doesn’t know how he feels about it. Even still, he always scarfs them down. You were right when you first told him it was much better than the awful prison food. It leaves a warmth in him that lingers for the rest of the night. Even in the cold rot of the stone cage he’s been placed in. It’s only been a couple of days, but the only good part of his day is seeing you. He hates to admit that.
On the second day.... you had brought him a blanket... your own personal blanket, since you didn’t seem to have another to give. You had seemed very worried about him being cold, and insisted that he keep it so that he didn’t get sick.
“It’s damp in this place.... i don’t want you catching something... try to stay warm okay?” You’d hummed softly to him, face resting against the bars. He watched you in confused silence before taking it.
If there was one thing he could have said he liked most about the blanket, it was the fact that it carried your smell on it. The lingering warm natural scent you carried... the same detergent that lingered on your clothes. A touch of that perfume you always wore. He questioned if you did that on purpose. If you had, he had to give you credit for it, as it had worked. A coy and sly attempt at flirting... but a well done one. He hated to admit that it made his heart beat a little faster. He slept better with his face buried in the fabric. The third night in the cell was the first night he began to question what it might be like to have you beside him instead of the blanket... surely you’d be much warmer.
Floch had known you for years, ever since you along with him and the rest of the levi squad survived the first battle with the beast titan. You’d always remained the same throughout those years. So kind... and caring to everyone. You always smiled so brightly, as if untainted by the world around you. It seemed to always make everyone else feel a little warmer. Floch had always wondered if that was why you did it. He had seen you time and time again catering to the Levi squad. Feeding them, holding them, loving them as if they were your own children. They were like your little family... and so it was weird when he noticed how you attempted to pull him into it. He knew that he was one of the last surviving members of the scouts way back then... but even as more and more scouts were inducted into the ranks, you kept him close.
Even when he sat in prison, away from everyone else. You left the comfort of your precious Levi squad to come care for him. He didn’t understand.
You were the only regret he had when he helped Eren break out of prison.... when he assisted in the assassination of Zackly... and everything that followed. In his mind everything he was doing was for the good of Elidia. So why should he feel guilty? He did though... there was a tinge of guilt in his chest eating at him.
He wondered if you were worried about him. Maybe he hoped you were... he was worried you hated him. He could care less about everyone else. But he didn’t think he could stand loosing you.
When the yeagarists entered the restaurant where they knew the scouts would be... his heart was racing. Of course, he remained the stone cold leader he knew he had to be.... he couldn’t be seen as soft. His thoughts were the opposite of his outer image, though.
‘She’s on the Levi squad... that mean’s chances are she’ll be here...’
‘What is she going to say when she see’s me?’
‘I’m going to have to arrest her if she’s here.... surely she’ll hate me after that.... but it was always going to end up this way... wasn’t it? She probably already hates me... it’s fine... i can handle it. I don’t give a damn....’
All up until he made eye contact with you. Those bright... pure... beautiful, round, E/C eyes.... He felt his knees buckle slightly. He hoped it wasn’t noticeable.
He put on quite a show, and hopefully it compensated for the beating of his heart. He waved that gun around as if it weren’t a dangerous weapon, and he made sure to act especially smug as his men moved to obtain hanji, going so far as to put a finger to his mouth to silence her. He didn’t give a damn what she thought of him.
But his eye’s glanced back over to you briefly, expecting your expression to be brimmed in hatred. He hoped you would tell him you regret ever caring about him. Maybe then he could move on.
But your expression was anything but hateful.....
You looked.... terrified,if not a touch sad. His breath caught in his throat. He stared at you for a moment in silence, before he found himself moving towards you. His boots clicked across the wooden floor, and he glared at you slightly as he kept both arms laced behind his back.
You glanced up at him, tugging slightly in an attempt to pull away from the man tying your arms behind your back. You didn’t like the way he had you bent over. You were uncomfortable. It showed.
The room seemed to become dead silent as Floch stood before you, trying to look as absolutely emotionless as possible. He pulled his lips up slightly into an almost forced sneer, and he could hear the blood rushing through his head as he spoke.
“what’s the matter, Y/N....? Don’t want to be on the other side of the iron door?” He hummed mockingly.
“I can’t promise I’ll have any time to come visit you. It’s pathetic how easily you’re willing to put aside your duties as an Eldian to-“
He didn’t get to finish, stumbling back in slight shock when you managed to yank free from the man holding you. And within seconds you were lunging at him.
He went to reach for his gun.... he couldn’t get it in time, finger wrapped around the handle he closed his eyes tight and prepared for a blow. He could definitely take you if he needed to.... you were a medic... not spectacular at combat.
The blow never came.
Instead, a soft slam into his chest. And for a moment, he had to blink a couple of times before connecting that the arms that he had expected to be punching at him, were now thrown around his waist.
Your face was buried in his chest, as your arms slipped up to place both hands on his back between his shoulder blades, and you took in a deep breath as if you were on the verge of crying.
He sputtered for a moment, and this time he couldn’t hide the obvious reddening of his face.
“What are you- what are you doing???!” He spat, taking a step back as if trying to pull away from you before your warmth tainted him again. This was not something he had prepared for.
“I was so worried about you....” you whispered quietly, and the second he took a step back you took one with him.
“I wasn’t sure if you were hurt- YOU CAN’T JUST DO STUFF LIKE THAT I WAS SO SCARED FOR YOU YOU KNOW THAT??” You scolded, looking up at him angrily before spitting out a harshly worded.
“Asshole!!!”
He was quiet for a second, as if trying to take in the situation. You were worried about him. Why the hell were you worried about him??? Why did you care??? No one... ever had before so why you, right now when it was most likely to jeopardize his mission. He wanted to push you off... he wanted to be able to hate you like he did the rest of them. But he couldn’t.
Instead, his hand moved instinctively to wrap around your waist, and he pulled you ever so slightly closer, glancing down at you in confusion for a moment before hissing.
“I had to do what i had to do, you being worried doesn’t change that..... we’ll talk about it later.” He growled softly. He glanced up at the rest of the group, having to take a moment to get his thoughts back on track, before hissing.
“We’re going ahead- I’ll alert Eren. Detain them.” He said simply. And you glanced over at your friends in a short panic, he noticed that.
“And her???” One of the men asked, pointing to you.
And, mind clogged with lust... love.... some desperate search for affection and validation... Floch made one of the worst mistakes he could have possibly made.
“She’s harmless. She can stay with me. I’ll keep her in check.”
His arm slipped down around your waist, and you felt his hand on your back, guiding you along gently.
he didn’t know how you felt at all. How could he? Yes... you cared about floch. You loved him. But as you glanced back at hanji over your shoulder, giving her a slightly affirming nod, you knew you would have to give him up.
Your gentleness had gained his trust... and now you’d have to use it against him. You were Floch Forster’s guilty pleasure... soon to be his downfall.
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butterfliesinmyguts · 4 years
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A Helping Hand
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summary: reader always helps around and levi wonders why.
warning : fluff, angst, and happy lovely stuff(may or may not turn into a series)
“ you did better today...” Mikasa breathed pushing my body off of hers. I finally was able to take her down. before dinner, she’s been helping me train to get better at combat.
a smile fell on my face, getting up and dusting myself off, “ keep it up and I’ll be more scared of you then those titans are..” I was able to keep up with Mikasa in ODM training, which was nearly impossible for everyone else. i felt at home in the air- as soon as my body begins to float, everything thing else zones out. my swords were just an my arms extended and I felt so powerful killing titans- scared yes- but powerful, but on ground I’m a clumsy wreck.
“ now let’s go eat before our meals fall victims to Sasha” letting out a laughed, I quickly remember a promise I made earlier today.“ could you save me a potato or something? I promised Jean I’d cover for his stable shift...” My friend sighed, “ again y/n?” quickly nodding, I set off to the stables.
I didn’t mind helping, if it was me I would want someone to offer to help me. sometimes I helped hange with mission plans, the days we go into town a lady sometime needs help carry supplies in her store, at the end of the week I help armin with reading, and at the beginning of the week I help captain levi organize his papers.
helping Levi is my favorite part of the week, if I’m in his office late enough he’ll set a cup of tea in my face with the words “ drink “ following after. while in my focused trance of replacing the water for the horses, and daydreaming about my captain Levi- two feet come into my line of vision. looking up my eyes were met with cold grey ones and then his trademark frown.
“ why are you out here, this is Jean’s punishment” dropping the buckets to the dirty stable ground, I wiped the sweat off my palms against my pants- fucking Jean, you told me this was duty.
“ just giving him a helping hand” my voice cracked, trying to laugh off the pure nevrousness that his presents brings me. I admit that im extremely fond of captain levi. he’s was the only guy that has ever made my stomach go crazy just by looking at me. the way he holds himself, short- yes- but never looked down on. he is humanity greatest soldier, during training I swear that he watches me. I feel his eyes burning my skin, the one time I did catch him Levi’s eyes widen and his breath hitched. I would kill to even be able to hug him, sometimes I imagine what it’s like to kiss him-but know that’ll never happen, hange told me that he thinks I’m silly and child like - he’d never feel that way about me.
“ - and now you’re standing there looking stupid, are you going to answer me y/n?” I realized that I’ve completely blocked out everything he said.
“ i.. please repeat the question- I’m sorry.” pinch his nose, my captain shook his head toward the ground. “tch, I asked you why your doing his punishment ?” shrugging, I began to brush the horses. “ I like being a helping hand, -“ before he got the chance to scold me I continued with “ it’s the only thing that makes me feel happy..”
looking up to catch him staring at me, our eyes locked together and for the first time ever I saw his eyes soften. taking him in, cause I may not ever be allowed to do it again, my heart ached. Levi is beautiful, breathtaking. his youthful glow made those dark orbs glow,if lips werent in the plain straight line- they would be puffy and pinky- so kissable. pulling my eyes away I finally breathed, trying to focus on the brush going through the horses hair while Levi still watched me. “ if that’s the case I need help mapping out the next expedition, hange told me your quite intelligent.” my cheeked warmed and a smile began to creep up on my lips- hange is getting so much praise next time I see them.“ I’ll find out for myself..” that smile dropped. “ come to my office after you clean and change from your filthy clothes.” nodding I watch the man walk towards the dining hall. On the inside, I was doing leaps. more time with levi, and we’d be talking to each other- I get too share my thoughts with levi.
“let the horse boy have fun with his siblings, and if I catch you doing other’s chores I’m making you run until the sunsets...” and you giggled.
during dinner levi couldn't help to think of you. why did you look at him like that, was there something on his face? maybe you were just scared, but no he’d always caught you looking at him. rather it been during training, in the dinning hall, and even doing expeditions.
Recalling back to when he first saw you, that smile you had permanently planted on your face- stupid what made y/n so happy? he was even more stunned when you got your ass handed to you by reiner during training and yelled “ again!” with that grin. that beautiful smile, y/n was beautiful- everyone knew it. levi heard eren, jean, connie, armin, and even hange talked about what they would do to have you in they’re beds, they all ranted about you body- Levi will admit that he has imagined your shy breath as his hand roamed your skin but It's more than looks with you, you care so much and you're gentle with him.
y/n would make sure that you take off your boots when entering his office ( which is tedious a job in itself ) but you did because Levi hated it when his floors were dirty and when on missions you squeeze all you cadets hands just to comfort them. no one ever has been gentle to him, it made him feel important but more importantly, why couldn't he stop thinking about you.
after showering, you changed into you nightclothes and headed to levi office. you knocked softly to quick “ come in..” I opened the door to Levi pulling two cups of tea. “ your late, I hope you didn't finish the stables...”
pulling your shoes off placing them beside his door you watched him pour, “ I didn’t” assuring him. moving towards the desk, examining the maps- Levi’s notes were so oragnized and neat. each note had so much detail about the surrounding area. while familiarizing with the map, Levi placed the tea cup infront of you. “ drink.” Brushing passed you, he set down in his chair.
why would he risking going in the open field for 740 meters, “ wouldn’t it be better to use this patch for cover?” expressing my concern, levi leaned up and listened to me rumble about the how it’ll be longer but it’ll save more cadets- every change I got I took a peek to see if he was still listening.
those sliver eyes watched me draw circles and point at the map, bottom lip between his teeth. i imagined how good it would feel to push my lips against them, the relief and pleasure that would rush through my body. I craved him “urh- but those are my thoughts..” finishing pushing away from the desk, distracting myself by sipping the tea.
“ where would we stop ?” Levi questioned, my heart warmed up, I stood over him to explain better “ over there would be a great rest point..” pointing to it, my neck completely in front of levi. I felt his breath hitched, clearing my throat i grabbed the pencil marking the on the map. “ I notice a cabin the last time we traveled...”
“ tch, impossible that’s a bit of the trail, with those tree you couldn’t have seen anything..” looking down in shame “ well while everyone was sleep I explored, even found a waterhole..”
I knew the risk of exploring, but I couldn’t help myself. while setting up for camp I saw a stream pulling down and I just had to see.
“don’t ever do that again...” nodding feeling ashamed, does this mean I have to go stay in the dungeon like eren? his eyes lighten a smirk playing along his lips.
“ just don’t go alone okay?” smiling at his words. sitting across from him I continued to tell him my discoveries - making sure he took notes of the waterhole and fields filled with berries. Levi forced me to write all my finding down, and he promised to even follow me on one of my ventures next time.
as time flew by tea cups were spilled, by me of course, and I was forced to re write the papers I ‘ ruined ‘ leaning my head on this desk my eyes flutter - wake up y/n - yawning I turned to levi still writing, how is he still writing? that tea was not keeping him up. so much energy, my eyes trailed his toned arms- the veins moving every in each stroke. blinking I distracted myself from my dirty thoughts.
“ you need to sleep levi” stretch my bones, the pop and crack give me a shot of adrenaline so I can actually wake up. “I’m fine” he muttered.
Levi eyes sunk from the lack of sleep, he was fighting it- too focused in his work to care that his eyes were burning and skin was red with an indention on his finger from the pen. “ they’ll be there tomorrow I promise..”
I reach to grab the papers, placing my hand softly on his bicip- he stiffened instantly and pushed my back into his bookcase. my ass landed on the ground,“ owe!” I cried, rubbing my back. fuck he is strong for a little guy, wow.
“y/n!”
levi rushed over and I swear his eyes were widen, like he was worried that he actually hurt me. Levi quickly leaning down watching me.“ I didn't mean to that y/n” a couldn't help but smile at him. were so close right now, my nose filled with his fresh scent- mint and tea leafs.
“ don't worry captain I-” levi’s hand pat my head. I could fucking scream in joy right now. did he just pat me? he never touches anyone. what does this mean, pulling away I watch his hand close as his finger tips carcassed his palms. as if he was trying to saver the feeling of my head, huh?
“your being gentle with me, why?” questioning him- levi set down in front of me. “ why not, your gentle with everyone else..” my eyes widen, he notices me In that way? planting his hand on my cheek, my heart stop, It felt so warm- his thumb wipe the tiny tear from the corner of my eyes. I’m blushing “I just flung you, and your still smiling why?”
shrugging “ I should have known that what’s going to happen” breathing out, I stared at his lips. “ y/n..” nodding not looking up at him. just kiss him, Levi is right there.
“ l'm going to kiss you..” he leaned and pushed my hair out of my face. repeating those words in my head, “ is that okay?” nodding quickly our lips came together as Levi took me in. I felt his chest against mine, and I couldn’t help but to grip his collar pulling him closer.
our lips begun to dance with each other, levi hands landed on my waist pulling me on top of his thighs. that smile still planted on my face between the kisses, while my hand combed his undercut.
my daydreams weren’t even a compare to the real deal, gently rubbing the back of his neck, Levi groaned into my mouth. With each movement we gained a slow rhythm,our body flowing against each other. I couldn’t help but to moan in pure pleasure I was feeling.
levi pulled bac slowly and watched me with my smiled in a drunken daze. replaying the moments in my head, Levi just kissed me, Levi my captain levi thinks of me- he thinks I’m gentle. a “ wow” left my mouth as he got up, leaning down quickly to steal one last kiss. my smiled never left my lips as I stood up leaning against the bookcase as finger tips brushed over my lips, hope the tingling sensation never went away. Im buzzing, I’m buzzing- all because of him.
watching the man, pick the fallen books up his eyes went to the window . “ it’s almost dawn, go get some sleep” Levi ordered coldly , point toward his bed.
fuck, “it’s dawn already!” I darted around Levi’s office trying to clean my area and while getting myself together. Levi stood there confused, as my actions all clicked in his head- arms crossed tightly along his chest.
“ I promised sasha that I’d help her with her hair this morning- I hope she’s not up already- oh no” slipping on my shoes on. opening the door to walk out, I give him a warm smile. “ I’m so sor-“
“ don’t worry, thanks for the helping hand..” leaning in to kiss him I was met by a closing the door. dumbfound I stood there, “what?”
part 2!
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todorokibois · 4 years
Text
Broken Promises - Eren X Reader
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Song Fic - Based off of Cancer by My Chemical Romance (I highly suggest listening to this as you read)
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Eren X Reader
Words: 1,586
A/n: Listening to this song the other night made me think up this little scenario since I have recently rewatched all of AoT. Hope you like it! As always, the characters are aged up in my stories. Feedback is greatly appreciated, enjoy!
Pain. 
That’s all your body and mind can register as your consciousness starts to come back to you. Every little bump and jolt of the wagon sends a shock through your system, causing a groan to slip passed your lips. 
“They’re waking up,” a voice you think belongs to Mikasa, says to your left.
A groan is all they receive from you as you come to. Half of your body feels numb, and you can’t move your right arm or your left leg. You attempt to sit up, only for your body to not respond, leaving you laying in the cart you’re in. You open your eyes.
“What happened?” Your voice comes out scratchy and hoarse, blinking a few times to clear your blurry vision.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Mikasa says, guiding her horse away from the cart to give you and the other person in the cart with you some privacy. She can already tell what is about to happen, but he’ll need the solitude more that he knows.
Eren can only give a curt nod in thanks, not even bothering to watch her leave. Instead, he looks down at you with sorrowful eyes, a pain of his own shining behind them. A pain you cannot place.
“There was a herd of abnormals that attacked your squad while we were out,” he tells you. “You’re the only one who survived; we’re heading back to the wall now.”
You nod slowly in understanding, finding enough strength in you to lift your head to inspect your injuries. Just as you thought, your left leg from your knee down is missing, having been tied off at the thigh with a belt in attempts to help stop the bleeding, along with your right arm completely gone from the shoulder down. There was apparently some attempt to bandage you, but the gauze has already soaked through with blood.
It takes a few seconds for your thoughts to push pass the pain and remember what had happened to you. Indeed a herd of abnormals had attacked your squad. You had been riding through a small town when the first one quite literally jumped out of nowhere and had taken down two in your rear flank. You had managed to take out two of the five abnormals with the three of your remaining squad before losing them to the last three in attempts to take them down. The last thing you remember is seeing another squad ride into town while being held between two of the abnormals before passing out from the pain of being torn apart.
From just one look, you already know you’re not going to make it back to the wall alive. You’ve lost too much blood. In fact, you’re surprised you’ve managed to live this long despite how much blood you’ve lost, but you know it’s only a matter of time now. You can feel death creeping in slowly, almost as if it’s giving you a chance to say what you need to before you go.
Once more, you attempt to sit up before Eren is stopping you.
“You shouldn’t move around too much,” he says, voice soft as he gently pushes you back down using your good shoulder. “Here, let me get you some water.”
There’s an unspoken tension between the two of you as he turns to grab the pack beside him. Ever so slowly, he helps you tilt your head up to take a sip of water. It helps to soothe your dry throat, making it easier for you to speak now.
“Thanks,” you mumble as he puts the lid back on once you’re done. 
You see him nod once in response, “you’re going to be okay.”
“Eren,” you sigh, but you can already tell he’s zoned out and is now in his own little world.
“Once we get back, we’ll take you to a doctor-“
“Eren,” your voice comes out a little stronger, but his eyes are still glazed over, not registering the call of his name.
“It’s not too bad; it’s not too late to save you-“
“Eren,” this time, the firm tone of your voice snaps him back to reality, his eyes now locked on your own, panic and fear swirling in his teal orbs. “It’s okay. I’m not going to make it.”
“Don’t say that.” His voice comes out in a rush, brows furrowing in worry. “You will make it, and you will be okay.”
“No, Eren,” you shake your head slightly as you come to terms with what you’ve already realized: you are going to die. “I’ve already lost too much blood, it’s too late for me now. It’s only a matter of time before-“
“Don’t say that!” He repeats, tears now lining his eyes as he looks down at you. There’s a type of fury burning there now, most likely at this world for taking another person he cares about away from him. If only he had gotten there sooner, then maybe he could have saved you, and none of this would be happening right now. If only he were stronger.
“We both know it’s true,” you whisper, and you’re beginning to feel the numbness again, spreading throughout your body slowly, starting from your one remaining leg and creeping upwards. “It’s okay, though. Everything will be okay.”
“How can you say that?” His fists clench in his lap, fingernails biting into the skin of his palm as anger courses through his veins. “You’re leaving me. I don’t want you to leave me.” His voice is small now, and you can tell he’s doing his best to hold back the sobs that want to escape his throat. “You promised.”
You take in a low breath, closing your eyes briefly as you recall those words the two of you spoke all those months ago. You had been his first real friend in the scouts when he had first arrived, having been the only one besides Hange whom was greatly intrigued by his titan shifter abilities. You treated him like an equal right from the start, and only ever wanted to be his friend. He admired you for your honesty and bravery, and the two of you grew close in a matter of weeks.
It had been the night before his first scouting mission outside the walls; the fated female titan attack, as you came to refer to it as. You couldn’t sleep so you made your way up to the roof of the old castle, only to find Eren already there gazing up at the stars. It was then that the two of you made a promise to each other. A promise to always come back alive, no matter what.
“I’m sorry, Eren,” your expression holds nothing but sorrow, “I don’t think I’ll be able to keep that promise any longer.”
“I don’t want you to die,” a single tear escapes his eye, rolling down his cheek before falling onto the skin of your left hand.
“It’ll be okay, I promise,” you smile at him faintly, finding enough strength left in you to raise your arm up and cup his cheek with your hand. Immediately, he leans into your touch, “but I want you to promise me something in return.”
“Anything,” comes his response, eyes locked on yours with a new determination shining behind them, alongside the grief and anger.
“I want you to promise me that you’ll keep on living and fighting. Not just for me, but for Mikasa and Armin, too,” you begin. “Live a good life Eren, and remember, no matter what anyone thinks, I will always believe in you. I swear that I’ll never truly be leaving you, and that I’ll always be with you,” you pause, moving your hand to rest over his heart, “in here.”
He nods, swallowing the dryness in his throat, “I promise.”
“Good,” you nod, only causing you to start coughing in response, blood now filling your mouth. It’s getting harder to breathe, and you know you have mere moments before your time is up. “Hey Eren?”
“Yes?” He brings your hand back up to his cheek, allowing for you to stroke it gently with your thumb. He can no longer hold back the flow of tears as he watches the person he loves most take their final breaths, blood trickling down the side of their lips.
“I love you,” 
His breath hitches in his throat as he sees your chest stop moving. At least you died with a smile on your face. 
A broken sob escapes his lips as nothing but pure pain and panic courses through his veins. He lets your limp arm fall to the side as he pulls your body into his lap, a roar of anguish escaping his lips as your blood soaks his clothes. He sobs into your chest, begging, pleading for you to come back to him. How can he save humanity from the titans if he can’t even save you.
White hot anger begins coursing through his veins. Angry at himself for not getting to you in time, but also anger at the world for taking you away from him. He’s already lost so much, so why did he have to lose you, too? 
It’s then that he makes a promise to himself. Something only he believes he can do, as he whispers his final words to you. He only wishes you were still alive to hear them.
“I love you, too.”
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issamhysa · 4 years
Text
all of my kingdom for your return
eren and reiner with a warrior s/o hcs
this was supposed to be an actual fic but i didn't feel like having to deal with pacing shut up i am SAD :(( i've had this idea for a while so reeee but MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SERIES/MANGA under the cut!!!!! i might give this like two separate endings if y’all like them!! <3
the mission was a simple one. that's what all your superiors, what zeke, reiner, annie and colt kept telling you. infiltrate their military, climb their ranks and retrieve the coordinate.
you don't know how, or when it got this out of hand.
maybe it was when you stood back and watched marcel get devoured by the titan. maybe it was when you didn't fight your brother when he held you back from tearing annie off reiner.
maybe it was when you befriended the coordinate, eren jeager, whilst you helped him "escape" shiganshina after the attack on wall maria. maybe it was when you watched him cry out and yell, blissfully unaware of just how much he would grow to mean to you, and how troublesome he would come to be.
you were meant to join the military police with annie, but you opted to join the scouts instead. you wanted to stay close to your brother, but you also needed to keep an eye on eren. out of the four warriors that remained in paradis, you were the most perceptive.
you, bertholdt and reiner are quick to establish yourselves within the scouts regiment and befriend the rest of the cadets, but you all made the same mistake. you get too close to them, you start to care for them and to slowly detach yourselves from the mission.
that is, until marco. you weren't there, you didn't see it happen, and to an extent, you were glad you weren't. marco was a sweet boy, one of your closest friends, and you were sure that watching him die would've ruined you. that's when you started to realize, you had to focus. you all did, you couldn't afford any more slip-ups, especially if they could cost the lives of those you grew to love and care for.
eren comforted you that evening, after the wall was plugged. you hated to admit it, but the way he held you close made your stomach flutter the same way it did when reiner touched you. he reassured you, mourned with you and promised to kill every damn titan in his way. before you knew it, you were falling, and you were falling hard.
the expedition came, in which annie revealed herself to be the female titan. in the end, you could do nothing as she was beaten by eren, forced to crystallize herself in order to save herself. in order to hide the secret you four shared.
time went on, and your attachment to eren grew. mikasa accepted you, slowly, and armin became a good friend of yours. you and eren began to spend more time together, whether it was training or staring up at the stars from the wall, your fingers intertwined as you reveled in the warmth of his presence alone.
little did you know, reiner was slowly unraveling. here you were, falling in love with the enemy, when you were his to begin with. you and reiner had always had a "thing", though unspoken. bertholdt knew, annie knew, everybody knew. you falling for eren only fueled his resolve.
it was time to finish this.
reiner and bertholdt told you about their plan to reveal themselves at the tower, when everybody was sleeping. you had tried to tell them it wasn't time, that this could be delayed, but you knew he was right. this had gone on for long enough, and you had made too many mistakes. you managed to hold them off until you got back to the wall.
you were meant to reveal yourself along with them, but when the time came, you couldn't do it. when your brother and reiner shifted, you braced yourself against the steam, anchoring yourself to the wall with your odm gear. you wanted to stay, but you knew you'd never truly belong here. not knowing what you had done.
when eren transformed, there was nothing you could do but watch as he and reiner pummeled each other to the brink, until eren had found a way to slowly crack away at the armored titan's neck. soon, the nape would be exposed, and reiner and bertholdt would be in trouble.
the scouts were near, waiting for the opportune moment to strike and tear reiner out of his titan, and in that moment, you had a choice to make.
you could stay still and cooperate with the scouts, letting eren kill reiner and hoping eren wouldn't hate you for betraying them. or you could help reiner and bertholdt escape, leave for marley and never look back.
reiner's armored titan called out, and though nobody could understand the reason for his sudden cry, you did. he was calling out for you.
you realized you had grown sick of being nothing but a bystander to tragedy. you had done nothing as marcel got eaten, you had done nothing when annie was defeated.
you couldn't let reiner get killed, no matter how much eren meant to you. so, managing to wrangle yourself out of jean's grasp, you grabbed on to the blade you were given and jumped off the wall. with a cry from your lips, the speed titan enveloped you in hot, steaming flesh.
six meters, short dark hair and fearsome teeth resembling that of the ancient smilodon cat came down onto the attack titan, sharp claws digging into his eyeballs.
your titan yowled with each tear of skin, but tears were streaming down your flushed cheeks. you weren't screaming out in anger, you were devastated. it should've never come to this. if only you had guarded your heart from this, it wouldn't hurt as much as it did.
"eren, forgive me" you cried over and over and over again, though you knew the possibility of eren ever forgiving you after this was unlikely.
you loved eren. truly, you did. but you loved your brother more, you loved reiner more, and you wanted to go home.
bertholdt took your sudden attack as his cue and let the colossal titan fall, shrouding everybody with steam. with an unconscious ymir and eren, you and your brother latched onto the armored titan and disappeared into the forest.
the forest of giant trees was as silent as ever. you, bertholdt, reiner and ymir were waiting for eren to come to while simultaneously planning your next move. the boys picked up in your sudden shift of mood, though, wondering why you had gone so silent. but when bertholdt followed your line of sight and found you watching eren, he knew.when eren woke up, the first thing he did was scream at the three of you. bertholdt and reiner were able to shake it off, but his anger cut you deep. the hatred and betrayal in his eyes. the way he called you a "traitor", despite you already knowing it. it hurt more coming from his lips.
eren was watching you fall apart, and part of him thought he could somehow talk you into helping him, into realizing that what you were doing was wrong. but he knew better. after all, he watched you jump to reiner's rescue without hesitating.ultimately, you had chosen reiner over him. despite the nights spent together, the hidden kisses shared under the blanket of stars, the silent moments on top of the wall. 
reiner and bertholdt's betrayal could never compare to yours.
the scouts were on you quicker than you had imagined. you were all barely able to make it out alive. your attempt to capture historia failed, and the scouts quickly gained hold of eren once again. 
before the titans could overcome you as you and your brother hid under the palm of the armored titan, ymir gave you a way out.
the next time you saw eren was while you were looking for bertholdt during the second attempt to capture him. zeke had finally come to your aid, and victory was surely yours, that’s what zeke had said.
what you weren’t accounting for was erwin’s suicide charge allowing levi to get close to zeke. what you weren’t accounting for was armin’s intelligence, although you really should’ve known better than to underestimate him. you weren’t accounting for the thunder spears that almost killed reiner, either.
you had lost long ago, you just hadn’t realized you had. it wasn’t until you were pinned onto that rooftop, helpless to watch your brother get devoured by armin’s new titan, that you finally realized.
you were doomed from the start.
had it not been for zeke and pieck coming to rescue you and reiner, you were sure the scouts would’ve taken you into holding, tortured you for information without so much as blinking. levi and hange would’ve enjoyed that. and maybe, just maybe, you would’ve let them.
but your mission wasn’t over yet. this had all been the easy part.
the hard part would come four years later.
but for now, you would settle for watching eren’s broken expression shift into nothing but pure anger as you left him once again, knowing the weight of your betrayal would bear down on both of your hearts for years to come.
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aj-writes-here · 4 years
Text
Promises
 Author’s note: Soooo, apparently, I defeated writer's block and I came up with this. I haven't written something NSFW in a looong time, so I apologize in advance if it's not the best, I'll keep practicing! 😅
[Warnings: NSFW]
Mayhem, chaos, noses bleeding, yelling, food on the floor, and Sasha tied to a pillar. That was what the dinner of that night caused. Someone had had the great idea of giving meat before retaking the Wall Maria the next day, but the dinner turned out to be a total disaster. Levi was alone in his room going through some reports and repeating future and unknown events about the upcoming events. Meanwhile, y/n was sitting next to Hanji watching the show the meat brought, she couldn't help but laugh. Even though the situation was hilarious to her eyes, she would've rather staying in the bedroom she shared with Levi, but Hanji practically dragged her to join the dinner with her, and y/n couldn't refuse.
Things cold down for a little while, that was until something had trigger Jean and Eren... Again.
y/n squeeze the bridge of her nose with her index finger and her thumb suppressing a laugh, as a squad leader she had to seem objective, but it didn't matter because everyone's attention was on the two men, who were insulting each other and throwing punches. After a while, a very familiar voice resounded in the room. It was him, of course. The battle that was going on was ended by Captain Levi, no dialogue or warnings. A kick for Eren, and a punch for Jean, fair enough. y/n face had a disgust expression when she saw some of the guys throwing up, but her expression softened at the moment Levi gave the instructions for everyone to go to sleep, and also to clean up the barfed meat.
She noticed how Eren, Armin, and Mikasa left the room, and then from one second to another, she couldn't find Levi anywhere. y/n knew he was worried, yet she wanted to give him space. So she did, she helped taking some of the plates back to the kitchen, after all everything was a mess and she wanted to help someway somehow.
The silence filled her ears on the way back to her room, she was hoping to find Levi there but once she got in the room was empty. She took a deep breath while sitting on the edge of the bed, letting her back make contact with the mattress. Once she closed her eyes, time was endless. But she wasn't asleep, there was no way she was going to bed without giving Levi a kiss goodnight.
The sound of the door being opened and soft steps fill the room, slowly she sat back on the bed, looking at the Captain with a soft smile.
—Thought you were asleep.
—About to, but I was not going to until kiss you.
—I don't see you doing it. —He stopped in front of her —
—So demanding.
y/n rolled her eyes with fun and stood up, walking towards him. She crossed her arms trough his neck, melting her mouth against his lips. The kiss was soft, needed, worried. She noticed and separate from him, looking at his eyes.
—Levi... Things will go fine tomorrow. —She said in a soft voice, using her hand to touch his cheek.
—Are you always that optimistic? —Levi furrowed his eyebrows just a little bit.
—Are you always so grumpy? —Imitating her actions, she furrowed her eyebrows but stole a small kiss from him. At the second she left his lips, he held tightly against his body. y/n knew what Levi was thinking. —Hey, you will not lose me. —She mumbled against his chest. — And you will be fine too. We will make it.
—What if everything gets fucked up? I can't lose you, not you. — He took her by her shoulders, looking at the woman he loved.
—Ok, maybe I was just a little bit optimistic, predicting things that are beyond what I can handle but I can promise you that... I will do everything on my power to stay safe and look after you at every opportunity.
—You should take care of yourself, I'll be fine — He said  — Maybe you should stay —Levi raised an eyebrow.
—Forget it, not a chance. I'm a squad leader, Levi. I'm not staying here and definitely, I'm not letting you go alone.
—Have you always been this stubborn? —He used the tone of voice that he used anytime he would give in.
—Yes, and I won't stop being stubborn. I will be with you until the end, and you won't make me change my mind.
Levi embraced her body against his. It was a tight hug, afraid of if he let her go she would vanish, but that was not going to happen. He was going to fight tomorrow, for humanity, for her. For a future by her side. It was funny, before meeting her there was no vision of the future on his mind, only kill their enemies, protect humanity, that was the meaning of his life. But now? Now it was her, he wanted to be by her side as much as possible, he didn't want to lose her.
—Promise me you'll take care of yourself.—He said, his voice was plain, but she knew he was worried as fuck—
—I promise. And I promise you that as I have the opportunity, I'll go and find you.
That was enough, he knew he was not going to make her stay, but he couldn't help feeling scared. Those missions could take a different turn in a matter of seconds, it was unpredictable but on the other hand, he knew that y/n was strong and smart, and he trusted her. He knew that she was going to do everything to stay safe and come back to him, she has always done that, and so did him.
In a soft movement, he cupped her cheek on the palm of his hand, caressing her cheekbone with his thumb, she couldn't stop feeling the air trapped inside her lunges every time Levi did something like that, so soft, so pure, so real. He analyzed every detail of her face as if he wanted to remember it by heart. His thumb went over her cheek, then to her lips parting them softly. Levi tilted his head to the side, without drifting his eyes away from her. Damn woman, what had she done to him? He was cold as a stone, stoic, no expressions, his emotions always under control. And there he was, looking at her as if she was the most precious work of art, the same hands that had killed titans and even humans were caressing her face more than softly, the eyes that never say anything were screaming how much he loved her. y/n was hypnotized by the man in front of her, and before she could say anything else his lips were over hers, holding her by her nape, pulling her closer to his body.
Levi's lips were not the softest, and honestly, she loved the roughness that they had. He used his free hand to let it rest on her lower back, and daringly he drifted his hand under her shirt, caressing her soft skin. Both of them gained distance so they could breathe and in less than five seconds they were kissing each other again as if their lives depended on that. y/n took the end of his shirt and got rid of the piece of clothing, immediately Levi moved both to the bed, using his hands to hold his body weight while she was still kissing him. It was a rough kiss, full of desire, necessity, love, and emotions, they were craving for each other. y/n got rid of her shirt, removing his bra as well. The sensation of his warm body touching her made her let out a small gasp. His lover used his mouth to kiss her neck, biting it softly, breathing her perfume, and marking her as his. Levi's lips moved to one of her shoulders, then to one of her breasts, smiling internally when he heard her moaning, and the hell how could she not? His lips were giving attention to her already hard nipples, biting them softly. Levi moved his mouth down to her stomach, leaving wet kisses all over her. He moved back up to her mouth, feeling the need of kissing her. A few seconds later, Levi kneeled on the bed unbuttoning his pants and thanking the Gods he was not in his uniform, so in this way, it was easier to take them out. y/n sat on the bed, holding tightly to her lover's body. No one could ever show physical affection to the Captain, he was so respected that some cadets wouldn't even look at him, but y/n was the only exception and she loved it. While she was kissing his neck, his collarbones and part of her chest she felt the luckiest woman on earth, Levi was hers, and it was a huge turn-on for her to be able to touch him as much as she wanted.
After struggling with his and her pants, Levi held both of her arms up to her head, using his knee to make space and put himself between her legs. By instinct, y/n moved her hips against his hard length still trapped inside his underwear. Nor he nor she knew how they were able to get rid of her panties and his boxers, but eventually she found her self needing his touch, needing to feel him inside her. In a different contextual moment, he would have teased her as much as he wanted, but now it was different. It was passionate, soft, needed. Both knew that the day next was going to be tough, so they needed to feel each other completely and using time wisely. Levi used one of his hands to align his erection against her wet entrance, moving his hips against. A grunt left his lips at the feeling of sliding into her, and y/n arched her back while she closed her eyes moaning with no shame. H
Levi pulled back, but then he thrust inside her again, the pace was slow, but the movements were firm and strong. This time, their hands tangled together at the same time Levi put his forehead over hers and immediately y/n kissed him as hard as she could, somehow hiding her moans on his mouth.
—Levi...—She said once she broke the kiss—
He didn't say anything, he was not a man of words. Instead, he hid his face on the crook of her neck, breathing heavily against her skin. His movements were flowing naturally, and with every thrust y/n was feeling her body on flames. She was lost in pleasure, giving herself to the man she loved. Again, her back arched against his toned torso, and Levi uses his hand to held and squeezed her leg.
—So fucking tight—He said with a low voice, completely lost in every single sensation.
y/n nails left marks on Levi's back, feeling how his muscles stretched under her touch, god, he was driving her insane. Every time he moved back and then thrust into her again was like swimming in a sea of desire, her entire body surrendering to Levi's actions. She felt a very familiar pressure building on her lower stomach, knowing she was getting close every time Levi slide into her.
He was not far from her, he felt electricity running through his spine when her inner walls clenched around his dick, making him aware that y/n was as close as he was. His movements became just a little bit faster as he was increasing the strength of his hips.
—Fuck.—He said, pressing his forehead against y/n forehead for a few seconds.
—I'm close— She was already a moaning mess, moving his hips against his so she could meet his movements and found a rhythm to follow along with him.
—Look at me— Levi demanded while holding his body weight on his hands again, looking directly at her eyes. When she did, she felt coming to an end, but she was way lost in the moment as to articulate any other words— Let it go, with me.
His voice was now demanding, and at this point, it was hard not to slow down his pace. It was after a few minutes midnight when she let out a shameless moan, holding on his biceps. y/n was fighting hard at no closing her eyes, and honestly, being looking at Levi's eyes was far way better. She felt his dick twitching inside her, and with one last thrust, she let her self go, feeling her orgasm in all her body. Soon after, Levi followed her, his hips still while he was inside her and a low grunt escaped his mouth. After a few seconds, he kept moving slowly while trying to catch his breath. He leaned so he could kiss her lips, a long and deep kiss.
He pulled out letting a small 'tch' at the feeling.
—I love you. So damn much.
Levi said while leaving kisses on her jaw, neck, and collarbones, collapsing then on her chest. y/n hand touched his undercut, caressing her hair in a loving way.
—I love you too, Captain.
She laughed at the nickname, smiling as she heard him laughing quietly while she continued whit the soft touches on his hair. It was just them, dim light and a messy bed. Just y/n and Levi showing how much they love each other, without thinking, at least for a few minutes about the upcoming events. He looked at her and gave her another small kiss on her mouth, it was time for them to take a shower and go back to bed so they could sleep for a while, at least in each other arms, nights were easier for both. In the end, they had promised that they would spend and enjoy nights like that one as much as they could.
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lacheri · 3 years
Note
Hello my love congratulations again on hitting 200! I’m so proud of you!! I knew you said you’d write something for me regardless butttt here are some things about me to help you with that ;)
INFP + Aries sun, Libra moon, Gemini rising, Aries Venus
My preferred pronouns are she/her!
You know I love simp! Eren 😈 I just want Eren to tell me he loves me lmfaoooo. You can make it as fluffy or as smutty as you desire. (Sorry this isn’t very detailed)
I think my biggest love languages are gifts as acts of service. I’d like to think I’d like to receive words of affirmation, physical touch, and acts of service in return.
Ahaha go off bae *bites lip*
kat, I'm finna pop OFF for you angel ty for helping me w this event <3 ily and I hope u like it (: (also thanks for giving me beach eren brain rot to this song, it's lowkey been on repeat since you sent me it) ((also honorable mention to malibu 1992 by coin bc this also fits the vibe entirely))
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Ace of Cups: this card, like all aces, signifies the start of a new beginning. you are so full of love that you're quite literally spilling over, flowing creativity and intuition. the ace of cups represents the promise of new, fulfilling relationships. it's the butterflies in your tummy, the blush that creeps onto your cheeks, the thud of your heart - innocent and pure.
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nothing - bruno major. "There's nothing like doing nothing with you."
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The wind whipped around your hair, caressing the strands lovingly as the smells of sea salt and firewood filled your nose. Eren sat across from you, face illuminated by the flames of your campfire as the sun danced low in the sky, cascading deep purples and pastel pinks over the horizon of the ocean. The waves wicked and wild as they crashed against the shoreline, a dozen or so yards away from the two of you. The sand was warm from the fleeting sun underneath your bare feet, toes digging into the soft grains. You didn’t bother throwing shorts over your exposed swimming bottoms, Eren’s massive hoodie covering your form from the chills of the wind.
The brunette was seated on a fairly large log of driftwood, tuning his favorite guitar in between his fingers. Clad only in his swimming trunks and an unbuttoned red flannel, chest revealed to your eyes, his teal eyes focused in concentration, fingers plucking the strings of the instrument. His hair was tied in his signature bun, stray strands freely flowing around his face as the open plains of the sea sent roaring breezes hurtling towards the earth.
“Eren, isn’t the fire going to get too big?” you questioned, concerned as the cinders from the burning wood were shot into the air.
“Nah,” he muttered, not really paying attention as he finished up his tuning. “I’ll put it out if it does, got a bucket of water nearby.”
You smiled, tugging the sleeves of his sweatshirt down past your knuckles, “We’re actually gonna’ stay here all night?”
“That’s the plan, baby doll,” he flicked his eyes up, smirking upon catching your gaze. “I’ll set the tent up in an hour, or something.”
You hummed, crossing your legs as you relaxed in your beach chair. Eren positioned the neck of the guitar in his grip, strumming with his other hand to double check the sound. He looked so pretty like this, you thought, his neck exposed and his eyes deep set in concentration. You couldn’t lie to yourself that you definitely enjoyed the sight of his exposed torso, muscular and tan. There were many words to describe this man, and you could name every one of them.
“Track suits and red wine, movies for two,” Eren began to sing lowly, his fingers strumming in harmony. “We'll take off our phones, and we'll turn off our shoes. We'll play Nintendo, though I always lose, ‘cause you'll watch the TV while I'm watching you. There's not many people I'd honestly say I don't mind losing to, but there's nothing like doing nothing with you.”
He continued humming the words, the music soothing the deepest parts of your soul. You could hear the scratch of the strings under his fingers as his hand glided up and down the neck of the guitar, sending shivers down your spine. You couldn’t wipe the sweet smile off your face even if you tried, especially as you watched Eren’s expression soften, a genuine and pure grin on his lips.
The song finished a bit too soon for your liking, and you became almost annoyed that the two of you were separated by the warm fire in between your bodies. You uncrossed your legs, circling around to throw your arms around Eren’s neck, sitting down on his lap and snuggling your cheek into the crook of his neck.
“You’re a pretty good singer, Ren,” you mumbled, pecking the exposed skin.
“I bet you’re better,” he teased, placing the guitar down on the sand and wrapping his arms around your waist to steady you, resting his head against yours.
“You might be right,” you teased back, nipping lightly on the column of his neck.
“Hey!” he weakly protested, you could feel the vibrations shake you as he laughed loudly.
You pulled your head back to look him in the eyes, a lazy smile on his lips, “I’m glad you like the guitar I got you.”
“That guitar that probably costs an arm and a leg?” Eren scoffed. “I felt like the worst boyfriend in the entire world when you bought me that last week, for literally no reason. You buy me stuff all the time!”
“I like to spoil my princess,” you tapped his nose with your pointer finger.
“That’s supposed to be my line,” he pouted, placing his right palm on your cheek. “But yes, I do love it. Now, stop buying me expensive stuff, I’m running out of corny date ideas to make up for all of them.”
“This isn’t that corny,” you defended him, eye level now as your arms snaked around Eren’s neck. “I’m having a great time, thank you.”
“I’m playing guitar on a beach next to a fire,” he deadpanned. “You’re just waiting for me to start playing Wonderwall, aren’t you?”
“Today, is gonna’ be the day that they’re gonna’ throw it back to you!” you threw your head back, singing completely off tune purposefully.
“By now you should’ve somehow realized what you gotta’ do!” he matched your energy, terribly off pitch.
“I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do, about you now!” the two of you spoke-sang, Eren’s arms tightening around your waist as he pushed up on his legs, swinging you around. You squealed, laughing obnoxiously as Eren placed you down, thankfully far from the embers of the fire.
He let go of your body, bringing the heat of his palms to your cheeks as he lowered his face, placing his lips to yours. Eren’s lips were soft as you met his pace, slow open mouth rolls as your eyes closed gently, warm pangs in your chest.
He pulled away, hands maneuvering to rest on either side of your head, holding your hair back behind your ears as he spoke so honestly, so genuinely it wormed its way into your veins and your heart forever more, “I love you, so much.”
“I love you too, Eren,” you giggled, leaning your frame into his, tilting your head up as he lowered his face once again, kissing you.
You counted constellations that night when the sun left no trace of its existence. The moon shied away from the sky, every planet and star twinkling so brightly. You never did set up that tent, Eren had become too lazy with stoking the flames of the fire. You curled up in his arms, fluffy blankets comforting the two of you as fell asleep under the night sky.
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LACHERI © 2021: all writing content belongs to LACHERI. I do not allow reposts or translations. this is my only account.
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ayatosmlktea · 5 years
Note
Heyo I’m here for a request. So. Eren x reader in the time when Reiner and Bertholdt kidnap Eren(or try to lol) and Reiner transforms and runs away (that scene) and his s/o and Mikasa like team up because they are both protective over him and try to get him back. Im also procrastinating about doing my homework so there’s that. Have a good day!
A/N: I hope I did your request justice!
𝑨 𝑭𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝑹𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒆𝒓 ❤️ 
Part 2
Y/N’s eyes widen as she watches Eren being ripped from his titan body as the steam from Bertholdt’s form begins to evaporate. She feels Armin’s scream shake her to the core as she helplessly watches Reiner disappear. Her body refusing to move from her spot against the wall. Balling her hands into fists she feels angry tears begin to run down her face, if she’d been faster maybe she could have gotten to him before Reiner.
‘Yeah right’ she scoffs to herself ‘If Mikasa couldn’t even do it what makes you think you could have saved him?’ When they had first started dating she had promised Mikasa to help keep Eren safe and now her words had come back to haunt her.
Using her gear to pull herself back up to the top of wall she collapses onto the hard stones. Her face throbbing with pain as the after effects of the steam finally catch up to her. Hiding her face in her hands she begins to sob pathetically, there wasn’t anything they could do until reinforcements showed up. Mikasa was still unconscious and a number of others had been seriously injured.
She cried not only for Eren but at the betrayal of their two former comrades who had become like family to them all. Feeling Armin sit next to her she becomes hyperaware of how pathetic she must look, bawling her eyes out in front of other soldiers. She quickly wipes her tears away her sobs muffing into sniffles as she bites down on her lip.
“You did your best, Y/N.” He says quietly trying to reassure her but she only felt worse. She hadn’t done her best, her boyfriend had been kidnapped and she’d been powerless to stop it.
“That’s bullshit and you know it.” She laughs humourlessly, hanging her hand in shame. Knowing Y/N was not a fan of people pitying her he awkwardly pats her back before leaving Y/N to cool off by herself.
She doesn’t even notice Mikasa wake up, too caught up in her own self-loathing.
“You want to save him right?” Her sudden sharp words grabbing her attention. She looks up at Mikasa nodding solemnly.
“Then let’s give them a fight to remember, Y/N” Reaching her hand out, Y/N feels a surge of power rush through her body as she grasps Mikasa’s hand firmly in hers as she’s pulled up to her feet. Mounting their horses they make eye contact, their goal was clear. Recover Eren at all costs.
Y/N felt restless as their trek was taking longer than she wanted, if Reiner managed to reach the wall before they could catch up to them everything would be in vain. She urges her horse to run faster, praying they make it in time. She feels her adrenaline coursing through her body as they finally spot Reiner running out of the forest, his hands covering his neck with Ymir attached to his back.
Slightly breaking their place in the group Mikasa and Y/N move their horses closer to Reiner.
Mikasa’s hooks attach to Reiner’s titan form, Y/N following right after her. The speed of their odm gear making the wind feel like it was cutting into her face.
While she didn’t posses the raven-haired girl’s superhuman strength or reflexes, Y/N was running on pure adrenaline and determination to save her boyfriend. Using her gear to swing around to Reiner’s face her expression is vicious as they make eye contact. The bitterness of their betrayal still digging into her heart like a knife as her lips draw back into a sneer.
“I’m taking him back Reiner!” She growls quickly maneuvering herself out the way as his jaws snap forward. Y/N lands next to Mikasa who looked equally terrifying, the rest of the 104th quickly joining them. She feels herself growing increasingly angry as Connie and Jean reminisce about the memories they had of their friends.
“You’re mistaken to seek any compassion from me” Mikasa’s cold words ring in her ears, she couldn’t afford to be compassionate. For Eren’s sake she had to be strong, she couldn’t waste energy caring about people who had played them like pawns in their sick game of chess.
“They are enemies of humanity” Her mouth sets in a grin line as she hardens her heart.
“Someone has to be the one to stain their hands with blood.” Bertholdt’s words send chills down her spine, she had to something! Anything! Eren was so close to being rescued she couldn’t give up now!
‘Think for God’s sake Y/N!’
Their solution comes in the form of a horde of titans that Erwin had gathered running towards them. It sends a mixture of hope and fear to her stomach. They each quickly jump off Reiner and saddle their horses, keeping as close as possible without being crushed. Being ambushed would force him to remove his hands to fend them off otherwise he would become immobile endangering Bertholdt and Eren.
She tries not to look at the bloodshed happening around her. Mikasa’s eyes narrow as she sees their chance, Reiner had removed his hands. She follows Mikasa into the oncoming frenzy of titans, their horses narrowly miss being grabbed by an outstretched hand.
Mikasa moves faster than she can match, jumping off her horse she swings her blade at Bertholdt. He jumps back as she cuts through the air.
Y/N feels her heart beating faster, her palms become clammy as Mikasa is grabbed by a titan.
“Y/N, NOW!” She screams.The sound of her ribs cracking makes her cringe as she jumps off her horse. Remembering Armin’s words about abandoning their humanity in order to obtain their goals she forces herself to become cruel as she distracts them with a made up story about Annie being tortured.
Erwin’s unsuspected reappearance gave them the element of surprise they needed to make a quick getaway as Eren is released from Bertholdt’s grasp.
Y/N moves her gear faster to swoop down and grab Eren before he hits the ground. They had made considerable progress and Y/N felt hopeful they would make it back to the walls when Reiner began hurling titans in their direction. The impact of it causing her horse to lose balance and she feels her body being flung into a tree. Her vision swims in and out. A high-pitched ringing in her ears. Her body stumbles forward as she attempts to make her way to where Eren and Mikasa are when her body is pulled up onto Jean’s horse.
“Jean! Put me down! I have to help them!” She pleads, willing her eyes to focus on his face.
“Are you stupid? You probably have a concussion there’s no way you’re going back!” His voice is loud. Too loud. It makes her head hurt. Y/N feels her eyes growing heavier, the corners of her vision becoming black.
“Y/N! Stay awake you idiot!” She really wants to. Knowing that if she blacks out she might not wake up but the allure of sleep is stronger than her willpower.
Opening her eyes she’s met with an unfamiliar room and a dull throbbing in her head.
“Finally! You’re awake!” Eren’s voice startling her as he crushes her body against his. She’s momentarily confused, her brain still foggy from her concussion.
“You’re so reckless Y/N!” She feels hot tears falling against her neck but they’re not hers.
“Pfft, like you’re one to talk” She rolls her eyes, moving to lie on her side so they’re face to face.
“Fuck I was so worried you wouldn’t wake up.” His voice is quietly, barely above a whisper as he cradles her face in his hand.
“I was supposed to save you, and then I got knocked out by a fucking tree.” Her laugh is cold as she averts her gaze from his.
“You did save me, without you Erwin wouldn’t have been able to catch Bertholdt off guard!” He argues forcing her to look at him. She sighs heavily, she knew he was right but it still made her feel useless. His lips capture hers in a gentle kiss.
“Stop thinking you’re useless Y/N. You were badass out there, but if you ever do something stupid like trying to fight titans with a concussion again I’ll kick your ass.” She can’t help but burst out laughing as she buries her head into his chest. Eren, the king of doing reckless things, was threatening to kick her ass for doing the same thing.
“Stop laughing Y/N, I mean it.”
Masterlist
102 notes · View notes
Text
Top Eren Jaeger Moments
If you’re not caught up with the manga, be aware there will be spoilers below!
Where do I begin? Eren has definetely become one of my favorite anime protagonists ever. I have to admit that when I started watching Snk, I did not expect much, I could’ve never been so wrong. I am not saying that in a real-life situation under any circumstances, would support genocide, but since SnK is fiction, I really hope Eren wins and gets his so desired freedom for the people of Eldia.
I will describe 7 of the moments that made me start falling in love with his character development, covering chapters 1-130 of the manga. This is my personal opinion, there could be moments that you would consider more important than the ones I´ll list here but feel free to add them to this post.
7. “I’ll kill them, I’ll kill them all...” This moment became one of my favorites in retrospective, because we all should’ve seen the monster that Eren was going to become.The only one who saw it was Levi, and this quote from him proves it: “He’s a real monster, not because of his titan powers. No matter how much force he’s held down with. No matter how strong the cage he’s placed in. No one will be able to make his spirit submit to their will”
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6. “Bertholdt... Reiner... you damn traitors” This was one of the weirdest moments, I never expected Reiner to just casually tell Eren they were directly responsible for Carla’s death. But Eren’s reaction of disbelief at first to then realizing Reiner was telling the truth and feeling hurt for the betrayal while he transformed into a titan as he was being held by the Armored titan... that’s poetic...
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5. “I’ve got you” Armin sacrificed himself for one of Eren’s finest moments in the anime. Seeing him use the blades and the 3DMG to slice Bertholdt out of the Colossal titan just demonstrated that even withouth titan powers, Eren is one hell of a soldier.
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4. “I’ll wrap it around you as many times as you want, now and forever” Here Mikasa confesses her love to Eren because she thinks they are going to die, but Eren will not accept that. He has a mission to fulfill and he’s not willing to kick the bucket until he finishes. These words from Eren were a promise to Mikasa that they were going to get through this, that they were going to survive, because he’s not only fighting for himself, he’s fighting for all of them. 
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3. “Now, Mikasa” Eren is fighting the Warhammer titan in Liberio and looked like he was going to lose because his titan just got beheaded. Miss Tybur thinking the victory was hers only to get an uno card pulled at her, is just priceless. Eren’s calmed expression made this scene even better (can't wait to see it animated), he’s not that tempered and hot headed boy that we saw at the begining of the story anymore, he is now a cold blooded war criminal and I love it.
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2. “Ever since I was born, I’ve been me” Many say that Eren has changed, but he really hasn’t and this panel is proof. He may not known from the start what he had to do, but his spirit and his goal has not changed since the begining. Eren always longed for freedom, now he has the means to achieve just that.
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1. “This is the story that you started” Chapter 121 is my favorite chapter so far... I had to take my hat off and give Isayama an infinite round of applause. This moment coronated Eren as my favorite SnK character for good. The realization of Eren being the one pulling the strings all along left me speechless. His expression right before taking one of the most ruthless decisions (besides activating the Rumbling) is pure gold. 
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Thank you for reading!
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metasnkpotato · 5 years
Text
Why eremika is amazing
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just a little warning : could you please forgive my current ship frolicsome mood ? But with the late chapter, it would really be a waste to not spill in that now. So here we go on an eremika dropped thoughts / analyze, and don’t worry I’ll try to be not too marshmallow in order to get a higher POV on overall story, cause after all the thing of eremika is embodying major topics and key meaning of greatest SnK’s ideas.
Also, it should cover all asks unanswered from those days (normally), but if you have some other questions don’t hesitate to send a message !
1. The purity of eremika, which is getting on parallel with Gabi & Falco
2. A total love which takes multiplicity of forms
3. The two previous points have potential to make it a kind of love that rises to a global POV on love, i.e. beauty beyond cruelty (I didn’t have time yet for writing this one but it’ll come soon)
*
1. Ok so this point is the most light, that’s coming back on pretty obvious things, but I still wanted to emphasize on it first. Eren & Mikasa’s relationship is characterized by some deep purity in the content of feelings.
 One of the things I (and probably many in fandom) thought about to happen was that eremika would remain asymmetrical because of Eren's inability to see beyond his enemies, something that chapter 50 and ocean scene seemed to have startled. After all, both are basically conveying an Eren unable to enjoy a peaceful moment and affection offered to him to rush towards enemy (even if stake are different in both, there’s similar reflex).
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However, what chapter 123 conveys is different.
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Body language, way this question is abruptly brought, and intimacy of the moment.. well a lot of things are implying a romantic dimension, but the most surprising, on Eren’s initiative.
The way he asks those questions about their relationship (and even the fact he’s interrogating the relationship itself) involves a stake and a wish for a positive response to his desires (why bother setting such an atmosphere otherwise?). He fixes Mikasa in search of explanations, showing a genuine search and ignorance about that (I think he’s, however, aware of the ambiguity of their relationship, because he wouldn’t ask the question in such a way, he wouldn’t have been moved in chapter 50 by Mikasa’s words, and he wouldn’t have underlined the emotional side of his remoteness in chapter 112). 
So we can conclude, also from the way he contextualizes what he might believe Mikasa thinks of him :
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that Eren is pretty conscious of having feelings. And that he values these at high level since long time ago. But also, and this is the most important maybe, that he had feared she didn’t loved him since the very establishment of their relationship’s dynamic. Mikasa had indeed always claimed the reason she was overprotective about Eren was because she owed it to him,
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 and because he represented to her the last piece of her family.
It's therefore, if it’s something he's coming back to, obviously an element that has dissatisfied him since a long time ago. And this also explains in a new light many of his reactions and behaviors (to avoid scattering too long : the way he used to scream he wasn’t nor her little brother, nor her kid ; frustration he had to not being strong as her because it also prevented him to feel worthy of claiming love).
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Thus, the actions of Mikasa and Eren in love are surprisingly both guided by a complete lack of interest to the extent that they both acted more than once under this love, without ever waiting for the other to reciprocate. 
And this unconditionality of their love is something that’s really central to the purity of it imo.
(But this arc also shows a form of conditionality implantation in a way : Eren turned away from Mikasa because she didn’t answered with honesty, and Mikasa is turning away from Eren because he was dishonest with her and conveyed opposite of his feelings. Both have been disappointed to see asymmetry, and so this distance also marks the need for reciprocity for each of them.)
For making a transition with the next point (or sub point or whatever actually) : the fact Eren and Mikasa’s relationship is so pure / immaculate is also reflected in the fact that their parallel is to be found in children’s figure.
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Imo, it refers to the fact that children are one of the most valuable things in snk’s code as it embodies hope for future and a precious weak thing in a ruthless environment in need of protection. Therefore, that their love is part of this range of things since it is codified at the same level as children. 
It also refers to the idea that they must explore this side of their childhood to finally be able to make a closure on their relationship (it might be muddy about this, but I think one of the reason scarf moment is coming back so many times is also about that : those they were kids, Eren the kind boy which gave Mikasa warm, and she when she was a little girl in need of protection with a scene such as scarf wrapping, is still present within them and they must reconnect with this part too, thereby the need for the accomplishment of chapter 50′s promise).
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It also shows, imo, that Gabi & Falco’s relationship and way to deal with the romantic dimension of it will have a major role in Eren and Mikasa’s relationship fulfillment as well. The fact that their parallel has already passed them in a field in which they are still wading, aka real communication and sincerity about the reason they’re acting for each other’s sake 
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forms a kind of model for Eren and Mikasa. Because of their communication flaw and fear to get out of confort zone, they’re in a huge ass quiproquo whereas those two children have already managed to overcome that. I think a scene between Falco and Mikasa could be quite decisive in this regard. By following the model of children (Idk what context might it be, perhaps it is only a wobbly prediction uh) they would be able to find a way to return to the their relationship’s origins to better affirm what does haven’t changed since that, ie love.
2. the most interpretive part, sorry in advance
One thing that I find particularly great also in eremika is the multiplicity of forms that take their relationship, which also makes the complexity of it.
Mikasa and Eren are at once :
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A family, in the sense of the depth and time of their bonds , and especially with the fact that they shared the same home, which is also an important part of their relationship :
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The idea of the family / home and the fact that they represent for each the place where they belong is a recurring theme of their relationship. If for Mikasa it played a major role in her reasons to fight, this is also important for Eren. One of his main dilemmas being the tension existing between his will / "destiny" somehow, driving him far away from his friends / place he’s supposed to be, Mikasa is in this a kind of key for him to retrieve his way. Let explain : Although he seems carried by bigger stakes and fights (I know it’s a debate within fandom to know if Eren is to be considered as free in the way he’s taking the lead of all plot, or if it’s a question of the will he had to sacrifice himself for that because no one else could do so...well let’s just say for convenience of this post I’m on this second point even if it’s arguable). This struggle, considered since the beginning, had make him both physically / psychologically out of his limits at some determined times (i.e. for the current action, the way he transfigured his personality in this last arc). What’s interesting with eremika in this, it’s that when Eren goes "too much" out of his way, Mikasa is often to play the figure connecting him to the community of the living as a kind of safe haven (one exception being the underground church where it was Historia. Pretty interesting beside, as the thing she gave to him at that moment was “Let’s be humanity’s enemies”, which is at the opposite of what Mikasa’s brought to Eren for that. It seems like it’s also this path he chose currently, and may explain why Eren and Historia make think to be in a secret connivance at the contrary of Mikasa which has been cut off power from him).
Anyway, this is one of the things that emerges from their reunion scenes if we can call these that, and especially this one
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of a lost Eren who finds in a very first place Mikasa, which acts then as a sort of connection with the world. It's physical, but also psychological since in chapter 50 in particular, when Eren loses his reason, it’s by listening to Mikasa that he reacts.
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By being a part of his family and his home, Mikasa allows Eren to connect with his humanity, humanity being understood in SnK as what is common in the natural raw state between all men, a bit like the idea of paths between Eldians finally (sorry it's a bit arbitrary said so, I'll might do another post one day to explain this idea of humanity in SnK like that, but here now it would be a pretty huge digression).
It’s also because of this humanity that Eren went to save Mikasa, then gave her warmth she needed through the scarf. Something he did for no reason other than human empathy for someone who is unfairly in the pain since he didn’t even know her. It’s then which is expressed imo in particular by the tears he pours while killing her kidnappers, those spontaneous tears coming back when he’s speaking of rescuing her.
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3. For the next time : Cruel, but very beautiful
*
Sorry to stop this post so abruptly but I don’t have nor the time nor the head to write currently (and don’t know when I will) but I still wanted to share these first two parts ! Next part I’d try to develop this Mikasa's maxim and see how it is interesting especially for a more global point of view on SnK. I didn’t manage to put the reference because it was rather planned for the next part but if it interests you, the idea of humanity coming from the community of the living , as a kind of hook to the real comes from the philosopher Hannah Arendt, which I might try to incorporate in the next point. Hope it’ll come pretty soon, sorry for the delay !
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levisbyjean · 5 years
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Why Jean Kirstein is the best character in SnK: An essay w/ references/RECEIPTS
(This essay spans from the beginning of the story up to the current chapter 117 of the manga. Also, almost 90% of the quotes I use here are from the manga; not the anime)
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Jean was introduced as a selfish snob, who was born into luxury and raised with class. His plan was to join the military police and live in the safety of the interior, far away from any titans or danger. And from the very beginning, Jean was—and has remained—an honest person. Keep that in mind.
During the 104th scouts training, which is also where Jean and Eren first met, Eren says he plans to wipe every single Titan off the face of the planet, & Jean just laughs. Eren says he must be the guy who plans to live a laid back life in the military police. In the anime, Jean’s reply is “I’m no liar. I’m a straight-talker, unlike someone who pretends to have balls of steel, even when he’s about to piss himself.” Similar to the manga version, where he says “I’m nothing, if not honest.” [vol. 4 ch. 15] And he is true to this statement.
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Jean’s mentality towards joining the military police does not change until the battle in Trost district, where he encounters titans for the first time. The main characters, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, (I’ll be referring to that trio as EMA throughout this essay) have already been exposed to the horrors of the titans. EMA have already been traumatized because they were kids when they first saw the titans face to face. However Jean is a teenager and also fresh out of the academy. He barely knows how to use his EDM gear and now he is expected to face those monsters, not run, because that’s what he trained for.
When the rest of his squad is trying to think of what to do, Jean says “it was a boring life. But I guess if it’s gonna end like this, I might as well say let’s do it everyone! Come on! Up on your feet!” [vol. 2 ch. 7] & he actually was the first one to have a positive attitude when everyone else was preparing for death. That was the first moment where I really enjoyed his personality. Thats pure courage and strength in itself right there. Continuing on the positive-Jean train, when Mikasa is the first to run off to face the titans, Jean yells to the rest of the people who didn’t step forward “were we taught to let one of our own fight alone? All of you really will make cowards of yourselves” and runs after her, followed by the rest of the brave 104th cadets (the Jeanmika/Jeankasa ship is SAILING)
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As the battle continues, he watches his comrades get killed in front of him, but instead of running, he LEADS everyone to safety. He assumes the role of leader ON HIS OWN, maybe before he even realized it. I want to note this first pivotal point in his thought process. He uses his other comrades sacrifices to lead the others to safety. To put it into other words, he sees his classmates getting eaten all around him but he doesn’t break down or run away to save himself. Instead, he quickly analyzes the scene unfolding in front of him and orders everyone to charge for HQ while the titans are occupied (eating his comrades) [vol. 2 ch. 8]. Granted, once they make it to safety, he later feels the guilt, saying “how many died on my signal?” You can see it on his face that this decision weighed heavily on his conscience.
After finally breaking down and losing his cool, he realizes that this was real life. His dreams of living in peace were crushed at the sight of reality finally setting in. He wanted a long life and a family but now it all seemed over with. His perspectives had changed, and when he almost lost all hope, it was Marco that brought him back. His friendship with Marco is probably the first—and probably the biggest—factor in his character change.
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Marco tells Jean that he thinks he would make a better leader than himself because Jean isn’t a strong person so he can relate to weak peoples feelings. He knows what’s going on around him at all times, knows exactly what needs to be done [vol. 4 ch. 18]. At first Jean is offended at this, but when he is watching the bodies of his comrades burn, he then accepts that Marco was right. If Jean had never become a soldier, he would never have had to worry about people dying, it never would have crossed his mind.
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Mentally-strong characters like EMA have it natural to want to fight and be brave. But what I respect about Jean is his honesty to say he is scared. He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to face titans. However, even though he doesn’t want to die and he’s afraid, he knows what must be done. There are people who are ignorant of the terrors of the titans, just like he used to be. But he knows now that it’s reality. After Erwin’s speech, Jean has a moment to choose to either leave or stay, and if he had chosen to leave, he would’ve “hated himself more than he already did”. And so he chose to join the survey corps so that he could fight for those weaker people. I respect that he isn’t hotheaded like Eren, saying he wants to kill every last titan out of revenge. But he wants to protect people, the defenseless people who have the safe life he used to dream about. He knows trauma now, and instead of let it tear him down and run for the hills, he chose to use that fear to protect people. SELFLESSSSSSS KINGGGGGGG.
The next pivotal point in his character development was when he joined Squad Levi. Being faced with titans and killing them was one thing. But in the Retaking of Shinganshina arc (aka season 2 of the anime), they were now fighting humans. Jean is almost shot and killed by an enemy MP, but Armin saves him by killing her, which ended up scarring Armin for a good while [vol. 14 ch. 58]. Realizing that he freaked out and panicked, Jean promises to never let that happen again and apologizes to Levi for letting him down by almost becoming a casualty, but he also apologizes to Armin (I also ship Jearmin like HELLA)
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After this, Jean has multiple leadership moments where he saves and protects others. When they’re pursuing the female titan, he backs up Armin and Reiner and tells them to stay focused and to keep a distance [vol. 6 ch. 23]. When Sasha shoots an arrow that got too close to Mikasa, he scolds her for almost shooting her (this was more so because of his undying crush on Mikasa but I still wanted to throw that scene in considering the anime bastards took it out and it was beautiful) [vol. 13 Ch. 54]. He’s also covered for his teammates a numerous amount of times and has never panicked in a crisis because he keeps a level head during times of trouble.
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He is an excellent leader and it’s even proven after the time skip, when he becomes commanding officer of his own team!!! [vol. 26 ch. 105] (OUR FRIENDS ACCOMPLISHMENTS ARE ALSO OUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS) He tells them to keep civilian casualties to a minimum as their primary focuses are the Marleyan government and Eren, not the civilians. Jean also doesn’t let personal feelings get in the way of carrying out a mission. So when the squad was about to kill Pieck, after firing off a thunder spear and it backfiring, he ordered his team to fall back because it wasn’t worth their deaths if it wasn’t part of the mission at hand [vol. 26 ch. 104]. (He also proved this when, even though he’s stated countless times how much he hates Eren, he still protects him in battle because he knows Eren is an important figure to saving humanity). The last piece of evidence of this fact is after Gabi and Falco stow away on the airship, and Gabi shoots Sasha dead, the crew asks Jean if they should throw the kids out of the plane, to which he just replies “is throwing some kids out of an airship really going to stop all of this bloodshed?” This part really hurt me, not only because of Sasha’s death, but because even though Jean was in pain after witnessing one of his best friends die right in front of him, he didn’t lash out. He couldn’t. His composure and facial expressions gave off that he was angry and distraught, but he didn’t let that get the best of him. Killing those kids wouldn’t have brought her back and it’s that maturity to not avenge the murderer of his friend that hurt. Again, KEEPS A LEVEL HEAD IN TIMES OF TROUBLE. [vol. 26 ch. 105] (I would post screen caps of the emotional facial expressions from that chapter but there are just too many, so read it for yourself to feel the pain. Instead, here’s this cute picture of my favorite AOT trio).
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Jean has also noted his care and affection for his friends before. Shortly before the attack on Marley, the team is having a discussion on who should inherit Eren’s attack Titan, and Jean is super quick to shoot down Mikasa’s offer because he cares about her. & instead suggests himself as a candidate. However, Eren rejects it, along with Sasha and Connie’s proposals, stating he doesn’t want to give it to any of them because they are all important to him and he wants them to live long lives (.....okay this note is mainly about Eren’s sweet and soft heart more so than it is about Jean, I just wanted to throw it in because I don’t think Eren is the heartless, emotionless bastard that he makes himself out to be after the time skip) [vol. 27 ch. 108] But in all seriousness, Jean’s heart does show when he is talking to Mikasa and Connie after Eren‘s suspicious & traitorous actions. Because of how much Eren and Jean didn’t like each other, you’d think Jean would get angry that Eren cursed out Mikasa, aka his dream guuuuurl. But instead he disagrees with Connie on his loyalty and says “I don’t think he’d do something like that without any reason. Somehow, aren’t his real intentions somewhere in there?” [vol. 29 ch. 116] Remember, Jean is an honest person—almost to a fault—so you know he really believes that and isn’t just trying to cheer up Mikasa. Aw we love a loyal sister *cue applause*
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Anyways, I could go on for days fawning over this man, but I’m sure you’re all as exhausted from reading this as I am from writing it. SO. In conclusion, Jean Kirstein was a snotty ass bitch in the beginning because he had no reason to believe his perfect life would ever change, until it did. And instead of go on to live a selfish lifestyle, he chose to protect people and lead them because he didn’t want anyone else to go through what he and his friends did, and he did not want to let anyone down who believed in him, thanks to Marco for opening his eyes first. He isn’t arrogant, he doesn’t think he is a god. He accepts his mediocrity & doesn’t try to get on a higher level than anyone else. He’s fucked up before, has made many, many mistakes, and he lives by his choices and decisions even if they come back to haunt him. He is just an average human being, there is nothing special about him. But he is honest and he is caring. He may be a hardheaded, stubborn individual, but he will go to the ends of the earth to protect his comrades and the people he loves.
P.S (This essay also doubles up as an argument explaining why Jean deserves to become the next commander of the survey corps, after Hanji. I believe wholeheartedly that he will lead the survey corps as passionately as Erwin did 💔)
P.P.S (It’s also no surprise that the creator of the Shingeki no Kyojin series, Hajime Isayama, has admitted before that his favorite character is Jean. HE’S THE MANGAKA FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, so I trust his opinion, too. Hehee)
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blufics · 7 years
Text
Title: A Vision, A Person, A Promise
Universe: Icarus & I
Pairing: Eren/Mikasa
Syn: Questions of both the past and future plague Eren and Mikasa, who toe the line between fear and exhaustion with the recent loss of their best friend.
“He almost died.”
The awful, bitter, sharp truth retched from Eren’s throat and onto the ground. He sat on the hood of the van, his long frame curled in on itself, post-rain droplets soaking into his shorts. His knuckles stung terribly- they were an awful, brutal shade of reddish-purple where his skin had hit the asphalt. Bruises lined his jaw and cheeks, as well, where he had hit himself. His throat was dry and coarse, enough so to cause near-pain when he talked, but the words fell, anyway, because they were so purely real that they had no other choice but to be released into the air. Mikasa watched him, silent.
“There were two times when it was too real- him dying. The first one was when I opened the door and saw him….there. You know. Setting it up. I can only remember feeling the loss before it had hit, and then- it got all fucked up. I pummeled him, but I wasn’t angry. I don’t even think I was sad- and that’s part of what scares me. There was just this, like, rage. Not angry rage. Just rage. Blind shit, pure emotion. And the only way I could let it out was to beat the living shit out of the person I hated most right then.
“Then, too late, it all hit me. Not the fact that what I’d done was fucked up, but the idea that, right then, he could have been dead. I just, I don’t know. He was out. I was guilty. It was weird, and really, really, messed up. I still don’t know what to think about it. I really don’t.”
In his vision, he could see only bloody fists in his lap. He focused on them, his expression tensing.
“You know,” he admitted, “I feel like there’s this creature. This thing. Inside of me. Something less than human. Makes me swing my fists and scream my lungs out at the dumbest things. And then it, like, infects this part of me I’ve built up as I’ve grown, and it makes me feel so much, care so much, it fucking hurts. Everything fucking hurts. And I notice everything at once, ‘cause I have to, and I just want it all to- to stop. I want to stop being me. I want everyone to move on with their lives without having to worry about whether this ticking fucking time bomb is gonna go off.” He took a deep breath; the air scratched at his gravelly throat as he did so. “And, y’know, maybe I’ve reached my peak. Maybe I should just-” His hand began to tremble in his lap once more, every inch of his skin, his mind, aching for pain,begging to be as damaged and ruined as he had made everything else, when-
Warm fingers slid into his own. He realized that he had been digging his nails into his palm.
“You know that’s not the solution,” Mikasa reminded him quietly.
“I don’t know anything. I’m an idiot. I’m not even a person. I’m this fucking monster-”
“You,” she insisted, “are beautiful, Eren.” Her eyes were still, her hand gentle where it caressed his cheek. “You’re human. Very human. Maybe overwhelmingly human; who can say? But you’re a person, through and through, and I know you.”
He crumpled, into her hand, then her lap, where he buried his face. She stroked his hair with a delicate touch.
“I just want it all to stop,” he sobbed. There were no tears present, but his stomach spasmed as though it were shaking violently in its own little turbulent panic. While one hand held tightly against hers, the other wrapped itself around her waist, securing. “It just keeps on going, Miks, and I want it to stop.”
In the back of her head, there was wild panic for her best friends- for all of them- but in the forefront of her mind, she kept an ocean of tranquility, and she kept her heart on her sleeve. At least for now, she had to stay strong.
Still, Mikasa didn’t have all the answers. So when Eren pleaded for life itself to give him rest, silently asking her why it couldn’t, she simply told him, “It can’t. We just have to keep on.”
In the liminal space of the motel room, where all that lie with them were moonlight and the smell of cheap soap, Mikasa absently ran a thumb across her stomach, imagining she might have felt something there.
“Eren,” she whispered, her voice suddenly tight.
“Mm?” he murmured back.
“Eren,” she repeated.
“Yeah, Miks?”
Her thumb hooked into the cloth of her shirt, twisting it.
“Do you….want….a kid?”
He hesitated before asking, “Honestly?”
“Please.”
“Right now,” he admitted, “all I can think about is how much I already love them.”
“It’s- it’s probably not much more than a fertilized egg right now, Eren-”
“I know. But I just- I have this vision. That you and me are together, and we’ve got this perfect little life. We make mac n’ cheese and stuff with cheap-ass hotdogs, and I make chili to go with them, but you never eat it. We share a car and a house, and we do all the intimidating, stressful, boring adult stuff together. With our own place, we’ve got, like, a dog, maybe a cat, maybe some fish, maybe every pet we can afford at the nearest store. And this kid, hypothetical or not….well. They’re part of it.”
“Part of it?”
“I just see them taking after you and being so good at everything, it drives everyone around them nuts. And I get to be the kind of parent they need, to love them like they need to be loved, and they’ll love me back. And the three of us can eat ice cream together, watch shitty kids’ movies, go to the park, train the dog. And then, when they’re in school, if they need help with homework, Armin….”
He faltered, something stuttering in his gut.
“But it’s not going to be like that,” he realized. “I guess it never can. Especially since- I mean.”
“Since what?” Mikasa prodded, turning to face him.
He didn’t meet her eyes. “I know how important school is to you, Miks. And I also know that it’s tough and dangerous to try out something like college when a baby’s in the picture. So I get it if-”
“Eren, I’m keeping the baby. There’s no question about that.”
He glanced at her, somewhat disbelieving. “You’re- you’re sure?”
Though traces of melancholy seeped through, Mikasa managed a soft smile. “You don’t think I’ve had the same dream? Having that picture-perfect life? Starting a family with you?”
“But maybe we should wait, Miks-”
“I’m not ready,” she admitted. “But, Eren, I don’t want to risk regretting having gotten rid of the first step we’ve made together- intentional or not. And I think we can make it work. I believe in us.”
“I believe in you,” Eren sighed. “But, even getting past my anger issues, I’ve got a gung-ho mom, a distant dad, and a low-key psycho older brother to use as examples. I can’t be the parent they’ll need, because I’d have no idea what that would look like.”
“What parent does?”
“Even so, though, most functional parents I know haven’t almost killed their suicidal best friend. Or threatened to kill him, after the fact.”
She took hold of his hand once again. “You can’t let your worst moments define you.”
“I can if my kid’s life is on the line.”
She promised him, “You’re going to get better. And I’ll help you.”
He grew quiet for a moment, as though he were afraid a response would shatter the validity, the possibility of such a promise- as though it were only a ghost of a future that could be sucked from the air if he were to speak a word.
Then, Mikasa added, “I mean it.”
And he said, “Thank you. I love you.”
“I love you, too. And, hey.”
“Yeah?”
She squeezed his hand lightly. “We’re going to find him. You know that, right?”
Though he didn’t know that, not at all, because nothing at that time felt certain, he said, “Yeah, I do,” because he trusted her- even more so than he trusted reality itself.
AN: Here it is, to those of you who asked! Sorry for possible typos and whatnot- its 4 AM rn and I wrote this in one go. Hope it was worth it! Thank you all for your patience!
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