#English tapping is meh

[sherm-206]

Big bad Harv or I like to call it sad Harvey

Sad Harvey is the personification of trauma of his past life despite claiming he getting better his trauma his alternative personality still lingers on his mind. to describe him is complicated but here what I can gather on it. He is mute and let the hand do the talking and only speak when is mad and for it and can’t think rationality and that results his path is becoming two face and his wife passing 

[stinkysam]

Choi Subong “Thanos” - K.I.S.S.I.N.G.

Warning : pissing (not kinky), slight handjob (?)

Genre : fluff

Synopsis : “Like thanos and reader hardcore making out in the bathroom of the games place and some player (probably nam-gyu?) caught them” - anon

Reader : male (you/yours)

A/N : bold is in English // it might be a little more than suggestive ? High-fiving myself because I slightly got rid of the blockage I have. // Reread it so many times so idk if it’s good anymore.

You were relaxing in your bed, waiting for the afternoon to pass after the latest vote. The adrenaline was gone, the mood had shifted from stressing to peaceful, people chatting quietly amongst themselves.

Then you felt your bed shake a bit, someone climbing your ladder. Your eyes remained closed, not particularly caring though you already had an idea of who it was.

The person stopped when they reached your level, probably staring, wondering if you were asleep before jumping on your bed, uncaring, laying really close to you, their breath fanning over your face as they placed a hand by your waist.

Though the bed was small and you were laying in the middle of it, you knew the extreme proximity wasn’t because of the size of it.

You opened your eyes, Thanos staring right back at you with a small smirk. You smiled briefly, moving your head slightly closer to his as you closed your eyes once more.

You expected him to say something, trying to flirt or get under your skin, but instead he said nothing, just resting with you silently.

His hand by your waist kept moving, fidgeting and tapping and the more you tried to relax, the more you struggled falling asleep. Thanos kept shifting, rubbing his feet together, tapping them rhythmically against yours. You could hear the shuffling of his body continuously moving.

He clearly had a song stuck in his head, and you swore that with the proximity you could hear it. Or maybe it was just you.

You began shifting as well, feet moving and fingers fidgeting. You didn’t even know why your eyes were still closed at this point, but as you were stubborn, you kept them that way, wanting to enjoy your peace a bit longer.

You sighed quietly, you needed to go to the bathroom but you didn’t want to go, feeling too comfortable to want to move. You waited for a moment, trying to ignore it before finally giving up. You sat up, Thanos watched you, confused. And then you climbed on top of him to go down the ladder by his side. His hands went to your wrists, stopping you from moving, keeping you above him.

You stared at each other silently. You could tell the gears were turning in his brain.

“Where are you going ?” He finally asked.

“Bathroom. Wanna help me piss ?” You replied, raising an eyebrow with a small smile.

“I could.” He shrugged, smirking.

You laughed with a grimace, shaking your head as you began moving again, climbing down the ladder, leaving him on your bed.

And with that you were gone, walking toward the door, knocking against it loudly.

“I have to go take a leak !” You said, hoping there was a guard behind the door.

No answer.

“Do I have to piss by the door ?” You asked, more to yourself than anything. They generally let people go to the bathroom during the day.

‘Weird’, you thought.

Meh.

You shrugged, beginning to pull your pants down as the door suddenly opened. Did you scare them or were they too busy to open sooner ?

You smiled, pulling your pants back up before patting the triangle’s shoulder, walking past him and into the corridors to go to the bathroom.

Though you weren’t in any rush, you still trotted toward the closest urinal. Your head fell back, sighing as you finally emptied your bladder.

A few seconds later you heard the door slam open, footsteps approaching.

“Pissing all by yourself, handsome ?”

You smiled as you looked behind, watching the owner of the voice get closer, leaning against the wall by the urinal you were using, eyeing you.

“What. You really wanna give me a hand ?” You snorted, amused.

“I actually might.” He replied, looking down at your dick.

“Aw. Cute. Too late for that, though.” You pulled your pants up, blowing him a kiss before walking toward the sink, Thanos following you.

“Why are you here ? Clearly you don’t need to relieve yourself.” You turned the faucet on, warm water hitting your skin as you began to wash your hands.

“How do you know I don’t need to relieve myself ?” He cockily smiled. Hinting something else than what you talked about.

“And how is that my problem ?” You looked at him and he shrugged.

“You’re the reason ?”

“Ah.” You dried your hands, nodding. “And how should I help you ?” You smiled, pushing your hands in his pockets, pulling him closer.

He looked around for a moment, acting as if he was thinking, you tilted your head, waiting, one hand moving to his hair, gently combing them.

“I think your lips could really help.” He replied. Not that your hand in his hair and your proximity wasn’t enough, but Thanos was selfish, wanting more.

“How so ?” You leaned closer. “Like this ?” You kissed his lips, before giving them a quick lick, smiling.

He didn’t let you pull away, grabbing your arms as he planted his lips on yours, deepening the kiss. It was almost desperate, but you'd say it was primarily hungry. Your hands went to his face, thumbs gently caressing his skin as you chuckled.

You only slightly moved back before attacking his face with your lips, letting your excitement explode, planting them everywhere, pecking every inch of his skin.

Thanos let out a dopey laugh as you kissed his eyelids, making you chuckle. He sounded so cute.

He grabbed your face, stopping you, making you look to the side before his lips went to your cheek strongly, making a comically loud kissing sound as he pulled away only to continue kissing your face the same way you did with his but with much more strength, forcing you to scrunch up your face as his hands squeezed your cheeks.

Still, you let yourself be kissed, humming, enjoying his warm lips against your skin, your hands were by the back of his neck, gently playing with the shorter hair.

Then his focus returned to your lips, tasting you again, growing more intense. As he bit your lower lip you tugged on his hair, making him hiss loudly and throw his head back to ease the stinging pain, laughing lightly.

You moved lower, snickering, attacking his neck, teeth digging in his skin. He let you do what you wanted for a moment as you enjoyed yourself, leaving a path of hickeys and bite marks on his neck.

And then, it was his turn to pull your hair to bring you back on his lips, despite your grimace you still smiled, gladly focusing on kissing him properly again.

You pushed him against the wall, trapping him against you as you kept devouring one another. His tongue was warm against yours. But his hands sliding under your t-shirt weren’t.

A chill ran down your spine as his cold hands caressed your hot skin, gliding on your sides and up your back, holding you close.

You pulled away.

“Don’t touch me with those cold ass hands, dude. Are you a corpse ?” You said, pecking his lips as you grabbed his arms, forcing his hands out from under your shirt as you held them, squeezing them. He squeezed your hands back, fingers caressing yours gently.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do about it ?” He asked, kissing your jaw before letting his forehead rest against your shoulder.

One of your hands went back to his hair, gently pulling on a few wild strands, tickling his scalp.

“Don’t touch me ?” You chuckled, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

“Fuck off !” He replied, pushing you slightly.

“Alright.” You shrugged, raising your hands in the air before turning around and walking away.

“Ah, come on.” He went after you, grabbing your hands to make you face him again.

“As much as I love your hands, they’re not sliding under my clothes today.”

He whined, frowning before looking at you surprised.

“You like my hands ?”

You kissed his cheek, before looking at his hands, raising them higher to see them better.

“Have you seen them ? Fuck !”

He chuckled, squeezing your fingers.

“Oh, so you’re down bad, huh ?” He said, swaying side to side mockingly. You laughed loudly.

“Shut up. I should say the same about you.”

“Maybe.”

“Definitely.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

You sighed and laughed, hitting his shoulder. Thanos pulled you closer, capturing your lips once more as he continued holding your fingers, thumbs gently rubbing against them.

One of your hands went to his chest, slowly moving it lower and lower, pushing past his waistband and into his pants, wrapping it around his cock. You quickly felt him tense and relax against you.

You began to stroke him, feeling his dick pulse awake with each of your caresses. Thanos was smiling against your lips, happy with where this was going. He definitely made the right choice to go after you.

Then suddenly you heard the door open followed by a sigh, footsteps approaching, and then, silence.

You and Thanos looked at who had entered, smiling once you saw Namgyu and Gyeongsu.

Quickly they noticed your hand in Thanos’ pants, still working his dick as he let out a sigh, resting his head against your shoulder. Namgyu groaned while Gyeongsu quickly looked away, finding the structure of the walls and floor far more interesting.

“Woah, really…” Namgyu scoffed, combing his hair with one hand. “Wanted to take a shit but now I don’t want to anymore.”

“Why ? Nothing’s stopping you.” You said, rubbing your cheek against Thanos' hair.

“Yeah. Go- ahead.” Thanos added, trying to stay composed, a tent now well visible in his pants as his hands gripped your arms.

“No. Just- Be quick about it.” Namgyu answered, turning his back and walking away, Gyeongsu rapidly following him.

You snickered as you heard the door close behind them, Thanos looking at you, smiling as he leaned closer, kissing you.

[archivedzeke]

fucking könig so hard he cant even talk english (i have big brain rot rn im sorry)

that’s hot. nothing’s better than fucking this killing machine dumb is too sexy to fathom.

you’d have him in a mating press, his muscular legs dangling in the air as you drive your thick cock in and out of his sopping hole—the sweat from working him over dripping from your chin

he was at least three orgasms in now and so we’re you, his insides have been pumped full of your cum and he was on the brink of tapping out himself—he’d like to think he had pretty good stamina, but when you’re drilling into him like he’s some two dollar whore, that thought is rendered untrue.

every bit of resolve he was clinging onto breaking instantly. you’re watching it all, you watch in utter fulfillment as his cock twitches once more and a whimper leaves his throat—eyes rolling into the back of his skull as his cum paints his messy abdomen once more and he begins to babble.

“look at that baby. you’re all dumbed out aren’t you king?” — he lets out the most delicious whimper, before answering in a warbled tone. “i-ich werde verrückt!” (i’m going crazy)

“please! please! züchte mich ♡!”, (breed me) his hole clenches around you, pulsing rhythmically around your heavy dick. he wanted your babies. “fuck! you look so pretty love. that’s it! talk to me like a good boy.”

his voice is reduced higher in pitch, and every word he speaks is covered in his heavy german accent.

“füll mich bitte voll! ich will meh!!” (fill me up please! i want more!)

now that really turns you on. when he starts speaking his native tongue, that’s when you know his brain has become nothing but love mush. konig throws out random pleases in german, want and just heavy in his eyes.

“want me to cum in you again pretty boy? fill your sloppy pussy with my kids hm?”

he nods his head and spews out what he can. “y-yess! please please! k-küss mich!”, he manages to get out while drool leaks down his chin. and you comply, laughing into the kiss as he tries his hardest to reciprocate the feeling. (kiss me)

[miyakuli]

Shot through the heart

Fandom: Helluva Boss Ship: Stolitz Genre: Fluff/Comfort/Pining/Post-Sinsmas/StolitzWeek2025

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63143428

Note: It's my first fanfiction in English but also the first one I publish online, so I'm super nervous and just hope that you'll enjoy it a little bit ;v;) A big thank you to @watermelonandporridge for proofreading and for all the advices <333 and thank you to my VIPs @a-small-constellation & @sunny5656 for your feedback :) <3

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I.M.P. Headquarters was as chaotic as ever. Papers were strewn across desks, coffee mugs were half-empty and a faint smell of gunpowder hung in the air. Stolas stood awkwardly by the door with a stack of files clutched to his chest. His talons tapped nervously against the documents as he glanced around the room, unsure of where to start. He felt ridiculous. He was a Goetic prince—a former prince, he corrected himself bitterly—and yet here he was, about to start his first day as a secretary for a small assassination business.

Leaning back in his chair, his boots resting on his desk, Blitz grinned mischievously at his hesitation. "Relax birdie, the office ain't gonna self-destruct when you walk in."

Stolas cleared his throat, trying to hide his discomfort. "I… I still doubt whether I'm competent enough for the job. I've never been a secretary before."

Blitz waved his hand nonchalantly. "Meh, it's not rocket science. Just answer the phone, file some shit and be pretty. You've already nailed that last part." Blitz winked at him, and Stolas felt his feathers puff up in embarrassment.

"Blitz, please," Stolas murmured, his tone both exasperated and affectionate. He wasn't sure whether the imp was teasing him or genuinely complimenting him, and he'd misinterpreted his intentions enough in the past not to fall into his fantasies again.

He took a deep breath and finally crossed the threshold, adjusting the collar of his new blouse as he went (specially chosen by Millie for a casual but ‘badass’ style). Loona didn't give him a single look from the sofa, too absorbed by her phone, while Moxxie and Millie were acting all lovey-dovey as ever. With a final sigh, he sat down at his desk, determined to make himself useful.

----------------------------------------

After a few weeks, the ex-prince slowly got used to his new role. He still felt a little awkward, but the other members—his colleagues—did everything they could to help him fit in. Even Loona, who usually lacked patience, made an effort not to rush him. As for Blitz, he never failed to encourage him while slipping in flattering and seductive comments. Stolas didn't know if he was imagining it, but he could feel Blitz's gaze lingering on him and his voice always seemed to soften when they were alone together. Despite everything, he refused to hope that anything could happen between them.

But while the atmosphere in the office was harmonious, the rest of Hell was not so welcoming.

It happened with the arrival of a new customer who looked at the bird with disdain as soon as he entered. Stolas tried to brush this off and greeted him politely, automatically reciting his lines.

"Welcome to I.M.P.! Whoever ruined your day won't live another! Who do we have to kill for you, sir?"

Before he had any time to react, the demon grabbed Stolas by the collar and brought his face dangerously close to his.

"A Goetia scumbag, playing secretary? His majesty has fallen very low, pathetic!" he spat at him, throwing him violently against the wall.

Stolas froze in shock. The weight of those words slammed into his face, reminding him of what he had lost and how vulnerable he was.

But a gunshot interrupted suddenly his dark thoughts.

He saw the customer groaning, holding his arm where a bullet had scratched it. Blitz was standing not far away, holding him at gunpoint, his expression so dark that if looks could kill, the demon would already be six feet under.

"Hey asshole! If you have a problem with my sexy employee, you'll have to go through me! Get the fuck out before I blow your fucking head off!" he threatened.

In no time, the unpleasant customer fled, but not without muttering insults under his breath. Stolas came to his senses, shaken but unharmed, and reassured his protector. "It's okay, Blitz. Don't worry, I'm used to it."

"Well you shouldn't be!" he said more sharply than he meant to.

He grabbed Stolas' arm in a firm but gentle grip. "C'mon, I’m gonna teach you how to shoot."

Stolas raised his eyebrows. "I beg your pardon?"

“You heard me birdbrain. No way in Hell I’m letting some bastard manhandle you again.”

At Blitz's possessive tone, Stolas felt a growing warmth in his chest. But once again, he didn't want to jump to conclusions. It couldn't be… Right?

----------------------------------------

"I still don't understand why I have to do this..." Stolas muttered, swaying nervously as he tried to adjust his grip on the weapon.

Blitz rolled his eyes. "Becauuuuuse, you're not magic anymore, remember? And we don't live in a fucking Care Bear world where people are going to bow down at your feet. If you want to work with us, you need to learn how to handle yourself, Stols."

Stolas pretended to sulk but didn't retort. He hated feeling so powerless.

The imp had taken him to an abandoned hangar that he occasionally used for shooting practice. In front of him were targets, each marked with crude drawings of animals that Blitz had scribbled.

"Um… Blitz? Why the seahorses?" he asked, pointing cautiously at one.

"They're horses with no legs, it's diabolical," he replied in a raspy voice.

Stolas chuckled softly, then turned his attention back to the target. He felt clumsy and held the gun as if it might bite him. He heard what sounded like a scraping noise on the ground and, after a quick glance, noticed that Blitz had dragged a box over to climb on and stand at his level.

He immediately felt strong, calloused hands on his, adjusting his grip on the pistol handle in a way so gentle it made his insides tingle.

“Alright, rule number one: don't hold it like it's a fragile cup of tea. Hold it firmly but not too tight either."

Stolas swallowed. Blitz was close—far too close. He could feel the heat of his body against his feathers and his breath lightly tickled the back of his neck, almost making him chirp. It was intoxicating. He tried as hard as he could to pay attention to his words, even though all he could hear was his own heart beating wildly.

"Now spread your legs, keep your balance. Yeah, just like that." Blitz's voice grew softer and softer, almost sensual.

Oh Lucifer! He was doing this on purpose, wasn't he?

"And… now what?" Stolas murmured, trying to contain a sigh so as not to betray his desire.

"Now line up your shot, breathe in and—"

The shot went off, sending Stolas staggering backwards, but Blitz easily caught him with a hand on his waist. The bullet landed slightly above the centre of the target, which wasn't bad at all for a first attempt.

Blitz whistled at that sight. "Not bad, feathers."

Stolas huffed. "You're only saying that because I haven't made a complete fool of myself."

"Nah, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it," Blitz said with a smirk. He stepped back, letting his hand softly caress the side of his fluffy waist.

Stolas' heart skipped a beat. No, he couldn't have imagined this. Blitz's expression softened, as he stared at the big bird with a look of tenderness in his eyes

"You really are doing good, y’know. And uh…" he cleared his throat before continuing, "I like seeing you like this, I mean… you deserve to be happy".

The sincerity in Blitz’s voice took Stolas by surprise. He was definitely trying to finish him off. Maybe—just maybe—he wasn’t misinterpreting things this time.

----------------------------------------

The days passed and shooting lessons became part of their respective routines. Although Stolas had no innate talent for the discipline, he gradually improved. Blitz felt a sense of pride every time he hit the target without wobbling too much. And he couldn't help but melt when he watched him looking so serious, with his tongue sticking out slightly as he concentrated on getting his aim right. It made him want to tease him, and he was always ready to slip in a few flirtatious words or to run his hands down those long—terribly sexy—legs when he corrected his posture.

One afternoon, Stolas was quietly sorting out some contracts while the rest of the team was out on a mission. His mind wandered to the captivating dynamic at play between him and the scarlet demon. He had clearly noticed all his furtive glances and touches, making him falter dangerously. Blitz had been so sweet and affectionate since Sinsmas that he was almost starting to hope for more.

No, no, he must just feel guilty and responsible for me. Or he has a secretary kink and it's not because it's me.

If only...

He shook his head to get rid of these thoughts.

Suddenly, the comfortable silence in the office was shattered as a portal opened and Blitz, Moxxie, Millie and Loona burst in. They all looked panicked and were breathing frantically.

"Sir, close the portal! Close it now!!" Moxxie shouted, scrambling to his feet.

But before he could do so, a massive figure emerged, shouting at the top of his lungs:

"DIE ALL YOU FILTHY DEMONS!!"

The human was huge and armed to the teeth. His face was contorted with rage and his pupils moved in all directions as if he had lost his mind. He then fired in bursts, bullets ricocheting all over the room.

"Shit, TAKE COVER!" Blitz yelled as he pulled his daughter behind a desk, dodging a few bullets that whizzed past their heads.

Moxxie and Millie took cover and Stolas quickly followed suit. The couple tried as best they could to return fire, but the human spun around in such a mad frenzy that it was difficult to hit him and his shots flew into every corner, piercing the walls and sending paper flying everywhere.

Hidden behind his desk, Stolas felt his heart and mind racing. Without his magic, the weight of his powerlessness resurfaced. His gaze found the gun that Blitz had urged him to keep close at hand, resting above him. The man's hateful screams continued to ring in his ears, as he reached for it with his trembling talons.

"Stolas, stay down!" Blitz ordered, but he couldn’t stand by and do nothing.

Not again.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, recalling everything Blitz had taught him. There was no room for doubt. He rose from his hiding spot, anchored his legs to the ground, aligned the sights of his gun and pulled the trigger. One shot, then a second. The human suddenly collapsed with a thud in a pool of blood, hit right in the head.

The office fell silent again, except for the sound of Stolas' panting breath. He slowly lowered his weapon, still shaking with adrenaline. Blitz, who had been preparing to charge a few seconds earlier, stood frozen in astonishment, staring at the bird with wide-eyed awe.

He rushed towards him, a large grin spreading across his face. "Holy shit, Stolas, that was—" He pulled Stolas into a tight embrace, lifting him off the ground in excitement. "Incredible! You really saved our asses!"

The Goetia let out a gasp of surprise before laughing softly, still a little shaken by what had happened. "I didn't really think, to be honest, my body just moved on its own."

Blitz, still holding him in his arms, looked at him with eyes shining with admiration as his cheeks flushed slightly. "I've gotta admit, that was hot."

His words hung in the air and Stolas felt his feathers rise with anticipation. "I had a good teacher," he replied, trying to keep his voice steady.

Blitz chuckled, "You mean, the BEST," then his voice softened and he slowly took his hand, as if it was the most precious thing in the world. "But really Stols, you're amazing…"

Stolas lost himself in his gaze, and he felt that maybe this was finally the moment he had been waiting for.

"Blitz, I…" Stolas began, squeezing his in return. But before he could continue, the intimate moment was disrupted by the noise of someone clearing their throat.

"Um, not to interrupt whatever… this is," Moxxie said, while waving his hand vaguely between Blitz and Stolas, "but have we just witnessed a human invasion? This is a serious issue we need to address in a future meeting."

"Yeah, that was pretty intense!" Millie added before facing Stolas with bright enthusiasm, "Also, Stolas, that was amazing, was it really your first fight?! Well done!"

That made him smile. "Thank you. I'm just glad everyone's alright."

Blitz groaned, running a hand over his face in exasperation. "Can you two NOT ruin the moment for five fucking minutes?! We're having a thing here!"

Stolas blinked, caught off guard. We what? His heart suddenly sped up. He hesitantly turned to Blitz, eager to ask. "A… thing? What do you mean by that, Blitz?"

Blitz froze and swayed slightly, unsettled by the question. "Oh shit," he muttered. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, avoiding Stolas' eyes. "I mean, you know… a thing. Like… an 'us' thing."

Stolas insisted again, his voice confused but hopeful, "An 'us' thing? Blitz, I… I'm not sure I understand."

Millie and Moxxie, for their part, exchanged glances, hesitating whether to watch the scene or slip away discreetly. It was Loona who made the first move.

"Ugh, I'm out. This is way too much sap for me."

She walked out, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly, still scrolling through her phone.

Moxxie then whispered to his wife, "We should probably give them some space." He tugged at her hand, since she was too caught up in the romantic atmosphere now filling the room.

----------------------------------------

As the three slipped out, Blitz stepped a little closer, his eyes finding Stolas' with unexpected tenderness.

Stolas' voice was no more than a whisper. "What did you mean, Blitz? What does this…"—his eyes flickered to their joined hands—"… mean?"

Blitz took a deep breath and gave his talon a small squeeze, as if to summon the courage to speak.

"Look, Stolas, I'm not great at this whole… feelings bullshit. But after everything that happened—the crystal, the trial, that ice queen Disney pigeon—it made me realize… I care about you. Like, REALLY care. And I don't want to screw things up again."

He paused for a moment, and took another step, this time with more confidence. "I want more than just this. More than just the jokes, the teasing. I want something real, Stolas. I want you."

Those words—the very ones he had longed to hear his entire life—came from the person he loved more than anything in the world. His legs gave out, and he sank to the ground. Tears began to stream down his cheeks and he tried to hold back small hiccups but the emotion was overwhelming.

His reaction made Blitz panic a little, and he leaned towards him, worried. "Hey, hey… don't cry, pretty bird. Fuck, I didn't mean to—"

But then, suddenly, a chirping noise echoed through the air and it was the most delightful melody to the imp's ears. Stolas laughed, a soft, adorable sound, his breath catching small gasps as emotion took over.

"You're saying you want more with me? You?" he said, a mix of amusement and wonder in his voice.

Blitz smiled at him warmly. "Yeah. I've wanted it for a while now."

Stolas smiled back through his tears, and Blitz gently slid his thumb over his cheek, wiping them away. They moved closer, their faces only inches apart. And with that, their lips met in a soft, almost candid kiss, years of longing reflected in that single touch. As they pulled away, their eyes locked, and their fingers naturally intertwined, a comforting silence enveloping them.

"Is this a dream, I wonder…" Stolas whispered, his voice thick with emotion."I never thought it could be possible."

Blitz replied teasingly, "Well, I'm full of surprises!"

This made Stolas let out a small laugh, and he leaned in to kiss him again, this time without hesitation. He placed his hand on Blitz’s chest and added in a seductive tone, "I guess I've got good aim with more than just weapons. Looks like I've hit you right in the heart."

The imp blinked in surprise before bursting out laughing. "You—" he giggled a little more, "You stupid bird!" and pulled him into an affectionate hug. "Guess I'm the one who got shot this time, huh?"

Stolas' feathers fluffed up in delight. "Perhaps. But I'd say we both hit the bullseye."

Blitz rolled his eyes without hiding the fondness in his expression. "Yeah, yeah. Don't get too cocky, birdie. I'm still the better shot."

"Of course, darling," the bird replied in a smooth voice. "But I think we make a pretty good team, don't you?"

And as he gently pressed his forehead against Stolas', Blitz whispered in a sweet voice, one he reserved only for him.

"Yeah. We fucking do."

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BONUS

Behind the slightly open office door, Loona leaned against the wall, arms crossed, and let out a quiet sigh of relief. Moxxie watched the scene with a gentle smile, while Millie jumped up and down with stars in her eyes.

"Awwww, they're so cute together. It’s about time they stopped dancing around each other," she said, delighted by how things were turning out.

"Yes, finally! And now that Blitz has a boyfriend, he'll stop spying on us in bed for good," her husband grumbled.

Loona stretched, feigning indifference. "Yeah, yeah. Just don't expect me to start calling him 'dad' or anything."

The imp couple giggled heartily, and the teenager couldn't quite hide the small satisfied smile that crept onto her lips.

[alexhandersenblog]

„It’s the same principle. Because liking or dislike is simply a personal interpretation of what we think and feel about something even without knowing something/someone well or personally.“

Hi the anon from a few days ago here😉. I agree☝🏻. Alex could post a thousand happy smiley kissing pics with her, could say anything in public, she could say anything and you may follow them and enjoy all of it, but you still wouldn't know what was really going on behind closed doors🤫. Every post they do is intentional and posted to make YOU double tap. Instagram is fame, money and attention. Either you like what you see and hear online or you don’t but you‘ll never know them for real. Which is why I asked if it was ok to share my OPINION and our (me&friends) predictions after a year of following everything. Simple as that.

The anon calling me a hater: Spreading hate wasn’t my intention. I’m glad you’re enjoying Johanne and Alex together. For me her pretentious act on Instagram and the things she has done like lying and trolling ruined the experience of being a fan for Alex for me personally. It made me see Alex in a different way. He was always hiding his true colors and actions from his fans and now I see why. Even before Johanne was in the picture I felt a little irritated at his boyish behavior during fan conventions. It didn’t look genuine to me but more like acting. And reading several Danish interview in the recent years about how he feels about his fans, like „I feel nothing“. But then turns around and says completely different things at conventions to his fans who pay him a shit ton of money of course 😅 Him just saying something in English when he wanted money for something. And just the way he obviously spend every hour on Instagram over the years but told his fans maaaany times how much he hates social media and doesn’t even like using it. And lastly his interviews about how „self promotion is the most boring thing you can do on social media“ etc. it’s all just …meh.

Our main points were that he already made up his mind, but if he had really been madly and genuinely in love, he would’ve been completely different from the jump. The point was that he made a mental checklist of what he has to accomplish by a certain age and that his mom is a little pushy

I didn’t say he wasn’t an adult, although not having any serious adult relationships before this one isn’t too good.

Him saying he has to give it another month and he has to find a wife and he has to this and that is not great here. But ultimately it doesn’t matter because like I said, I believe it’s already a done deal and I believe he will be hurt in several years. My opinion.

And just to be clear : We have seen many examples of Johanne "push him", we have seen examples of her "manipulate" him and there are even screenshots that prove she is staging her posts on Instagram for likes and lying to his fans and deleting evidence. There are examples of her trolling his fans and just btw the endless posing in his clothes is a little psycho at this point. Looks like there are examples of her sucking up to „important“ people as I saw the other day on another blog.

This blog is just kind enough to let a few remaining fans express their opinions before leaving for good..

But I wish you much fun following them over the next years. Especially Johanne will offer you a lot of content that will appeal to you. ✌🏼. I believe Instagram and his fan accounts are free of criticism anyways. So just enjoy?

Anon to anon.

***

Especially the part about Alex… I’m having the same feeling about it tbh… bit sad but it is what it is i guess 🥲

Always welcome to share your opinion. I try my best to post it! ☺️

By the way, props to both of you for having two different opinions, but still being able to share your views in a respectful way 🥰

[letsbehonestjootnes]

I finally gave TAP and Nightwalker a chance (only the title tracks)

First of all, people like to drag 7Dream for “acting cute”, but no one said anything about Taeyong acting cute on the Tap music video, cause it was quite cringe.

Aside from the song being shalala 2.0, there’s not much flavor to it, It been a while since the last time I liked one of his songs and really was hoping for something more chill with vibes like Long Flight, but I guess “viral TikTok” songs are the trend now! No wonder why it kinda tanked 🤷🏽‍♂️

Nightwalker… Meh… I don’t like Ten music since PMN, this is just another average Ten song, English lyrics, about love/s3x, the word “girl” randomly on the song, “dark” concept and a lot of dancing, he went for the safest option 🥱

Idk what’s with SM solos and title tracks lately?!? Cause they all have great concepts and visuals, but the music is lacking! Im so tired of songs created for the full purpose of viral dance challenges on TikTok

[lalaithion]

Ranking the Sindarization of the Names of the House of Finwe

A completely objective list

The Good

Irissë -> Aredhel. Look, Irissë is a great name, but Aredhel, pronounced properly, with a voiced "th" sound, like in "this", and a tapped "r", like a "r" in Spanish or Italian, just sounds so wonderful. (Actually, can we talk about this? English speakers tend to refer to both the tapped r and the trilled r as "the trilled r", so which is it? Most of the written sources say “trilled r”, but most of the speaking samples I can find just tap the r instead of fully trilling it.)

Artanis Nerwen -> Galadriel. Artanis and Nerwen are both just such boring names. Galadriel has four syllables each more awesome than the last. High Queen of the Noldor in my heart.

Nelyafinwë Maitimo -> Maedhros. Not that I dislike either of his Quenya names, but (with the same pronunciation notes as Aredhel) Maedhros just sounds so cool. And yes, the fact that he's a war criminal with the name "sexy readhead" is just too funny.

The Meh

Curufinwë Fëanoró -> Feanor. Boring! You just cut the "ó" off the end. Feanor doesn't do anything by halves except this. Okay, granted, his family did this to him – he was a linguist, I'm confident he could have done better if he had been a better tactician.

Turcafinwë Tyelkormo -> Celegorm. These are all good names. Alright, the "finwe" theme of Feanor's father names are really bad, but his mother name and his Sindar name are both good. Still, Tyelkormo is better.

Morifinwë Carnistir -> Caranthir. Yeah, these are both fine. I personally have a hard time actually pronouncing "Carnistir" correctly without tripping on the unfamiliar-to-english combination of the tapped r and the n (It's not pronounced like carnage! You need to tap the r).

Curufinwë Atarincë -> Curufin. Once again, Boring! Maybe I shouldn't be so confident that Feanor could have done better than his family, if Curufin is also just going to cut off the last vowel.

Telufinwë Ambarussa -> Amras. Abarussa is a super cute name for the twins to call each other and for others to refer to them as a group, but this is better Sindar name of the twins, so it gets to go in meh.

Ñolofinwë Aracáno -> Fingolfin. Thank Eru he went with his father name instead of his mother name; Argon is a bad name for a minor character but it would be even worse for the High King of the Noldor.

Arafinwë Ingoldo -> Finarfin. Not great, not awful. I can't help but think of dogs for the "arf", but in honesty he does sound like the cuddliest of Finwë's sons.

Artaresto -> Orodreth. Both good names. Nothing to see here.

The Bad

Findekáno -> Fingon. Oh my god. Findekáno is great and this name change sucks. Why did you do this to me, Tolkien.

Turukáno -> Turgon. Okay, at least Findekanó is doing better than his brother. Whenever I see Turgon my brain autocompletes it to "turgid", which is not a good epessë to be carrying around.

Kanafinwë Macalaurë -> Maglor. Once again, what a loss. Macalaurë is so fun and beautiful to say out loud. Maglor sounds like a depressing brand name from the 50s.

Arakáno -> Argon. That's an element dude. Also another "gon", which sucks.

Ambaráto Aikanáro -> Aegnor. Not as bad as the upcoming Rods, but. It's still bad.

Angaráto Angamaitë -> Angrod. This is the first of the Rods, which round out the end of this list.

Pityafinwë Ambarussa/Umbarto/Ambarto -> Amrod. Another Rod, so nothing needs to be said.

Findaráto Ingoldo -> Finrod. It's just so bad. I'm sorry, I just can't deal with this one.

[canirove]

Red & Blue | Chapter 9

Author's note: A little heads up just in case 😉 Yes, there is a stylist on this chapter. No, she is not inspired on Carlotta in any shape or form. In fact, she is mentioned on a future chapter.

And, as always, thank you for reading and for your nice comments! 💜

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

After our time in Ibiza, is time to go back to work. I trained a few times with Mason, going for a run around the villa where he and his family were staying, and also did some yoga and pilates with the girls. But it wasn’t enough to not get my ass kicked on the first day.

"I don't think I'll be able to walk tomorrow" I say when we make it into the changing room, falling on the bench. "Even my lashes hurt."

"You should get used to the feeling" Leah says, also trying to catch her breath.

"Of my lashes hurting?" I ask.

"Of not being able to walk the day after."

"I don't get it, Leah" I say, struggling to take off my t-shirt.

"I was trying to make a joke about you and your Chelsea boy, but I guess we both are too tired for that."

"You are the worst" I say, hitting her with my t-shirt now that I'm finally free of it.

"Eww, disgusting."

"As if yours smelled any better" I say, laughing.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━    

Once our pre-season tour is over (this year we went to the United States with the men’s team), it's time to plan the season with my own team. We always get together around this time of the year, making balance of what happened last season, talking about how we can improve it or keep it going, and also discussing new brand deals and opportunities.

"Where do you want to start? Cool jobs or meh ones?" my assistant Eliza asks.

"A mix" I say.

"Ok. Let's start with a cool one. Karlie Kloss has offered to send us some clothes from her new Adidas collection, and she would like to see you wear them on an Instagram post."

"Wait. Karlie Kloss?" 

"Yep" Eliza says. "This one is a yes, isn't?"

"Of course it is! You know I've been a fan of hers for years!" Besides football, fashion is my other passion. But I don’t like just the clothes. I also love checking all the campaigns, watching the different fashion shows, and following some of the models’ careers.

We keep going through other offers, some of them really interesting, others not making any sense.

"I've left the most interesting one for last" Eliza says. "Just yesterday I got a call from GQ. They want you on the cover of their December issue, just before the World Cup. You, and Mason Mount."

"Me and who?" I say, almost choking with my drink.

"You are friends, aren't you?"

"Yes, we are. But why us?"

"Because you are the future and present of English football, and that's the idea they have for the issue. Other players will be part of it. I've heard Bukayo and Leah have received an offer. Declan Rice too."

"And they want to do a photoshoot?" I ask.

"Photoshoot and interview. The usual. Maybe some social media content too."

"Of us. Together."

"Yes" Eliza says. "I think it's a great opportunity, you shouldn't say no. And you and Mount have chemistry, I saw you on that video arguing about superheroes. It'll be fun, and it will sell."

"Do you know if his team has said yes?"

"They have."

"Then I guess I can't say no" I sigh.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━  

(click/tap to enlarge) 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━   

The photoshoot takes place in Wembley, and a huge team is working with us. I'm having a coffee out on the pitch with Eliza, waiting while everything is being set, when Mason arrives.

"What the fuck are you wearing?" I say, not being able to contain my laugh.

"Why? What’s wrong with it?" he says, looking down at his clothes.

"You look ridiculous" I say, still laughing.

"He looks cool and trendy" a girl says behind him.

"I call it the ugliest tracksuit I've ever seen. And does it have... sequins?" I say, getting closer to him.

"As if your outfit was any better" the girl says again. "Jeans and a white t-shirt? And probably from Zara when you could wear Gucci. I thought you were a star."

"Zoe..." Mason warns her.

"That's what people say. And yes, I'm wearing Zara jeans, super comfy."

"Basic" Zoe says again.

"Comfy" I shrug.

"Why don't we go inside, uh?" Eliza says. "They are probably waiting for us."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━   

Once hair and make-up are done, I get changed on my first outfit and go outside into the pitch again. Mason is already there, that girl Zoe nowhere to be found.

"Who was that?" I ask him when we are left alone while the team works on the final touches.

"Zoe, my stylist" he says with a shy smile.

"And what is she doing here?"

"We were allowed to bring someone from our team, and she wanted to come. To get inspired, she said."

"I don't think this is her style seeing what she put you in today" I say with a little laugh.

"It wasn't that bad."

"It was, Mason. It was. I'm still recovering from looking at those shinny crosses the tracksuit had." 

"I'll remember to not wear it again if you are around" he says with a smile, the one with the dimple.

"Thank you" I reply. "And sorry if I was rude earlier. I hadn't seen Zoe or even known who she was. I was just making fun of you like we usually do."

"It's fine, don't worry. She'll get over it."

"Ok, guys. We are ready!" the photographer says, making us focus on our job today.

The shoot goes pretty fast despite the constant changes of outfits and locations around the stadium. Mason and I spend most part of the time making jokes, enjoying our time together.

"It's been a pleasure working with you, guys" the photographer says when we are done. "The chemistry between you two is simply amazing."

"Thank you" Mason says. I also mutter something like a thank you, feeling my face getting hot. Why am I blushing? Because he has said there is chemistry between Mason and I? It is not the first time someone mentions it. Though it is the first time a stranger does it.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━   

I’m back on my own clothes and ready to leave when I see Zoe focused on typing something on her phone.

“Zoe, hey” I say.

“Hello” she says, not lifting her eyes from her phone.

“I just wanted to apologize for what happened earlier. I didn’t know who you were and I was just messing with Mason like I always do.”

“He hasn’t told you about me?” she says, finally looking me in the face.

“He hasn’t, no.”

“Uh” she says. “Cute tho.”

“Cute?”

“Yeah. He wants to keep it private, just for those close to us.”

“I don’t understand” I say.

“Us. Our relationship” she says with a big smile before leaving.

Zoe and Mason? Together? What?

[neon-junkie]

Why can’t this be Love? - Chpt.10

Summary: You’ve never really fit in, despite trying, despite being on the cheerleading team, despite awkwardly socialising with the popular crowd. It’s not for you - these people aren’t for you. Yet, you don’t know how to escape! Do you continue following a dead end? Or finally break away?

The answer is made for you after your ‘date,’ a boy on the basketball team, bails on you, and uninvites you from some stupid basketball after party. Whatever, that’s fine. But what’s not fine is the agonisingly long walk home. Oh, in the dark, late at night!

However, your saviour finds you, and not only does he save you from walking home alone, but the conflicting feelings that you’ve spent the last few years with.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Cheerleader Reader

Reader Description: Reader is female and uses she/her pronouns. Not much detail is given about her appearance, other than she wears heavy eyeliner, and is clearly an outcast that is trying to fit in.

Word count: 5.3k

Tags: Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Slow burn, Awkward flirting, Drinking, Angst, Comfort, Generic High School Bullying, Denial of feelings, Feelings realisation.

[Chapter 1]  [Read on AO3]  [Chapter 11]

Chapter 10 - Lava Lamp

Another huff trails from your lips as you look yourself over in the mirror, questioning your fifth outfit choice of the night. You want something casual, and perhaps a little revealing? Shit, who knows! What the fuck are you doing?!

Needless to say, you're eager to catch Eddie's attention, despite knowing that you've already done so. He's coming over to see you, for Christ's sake - of course you've caught his attention!

With bunched up fists, you sigh, and decide to roll with what you currently have on. It's almost seven anyway, and you have little time to tidy up the range of clothes thrown over your bed. You've opted for short shorts and a band tee, contrasting against the pink, fluffy socks hugging your ankles.

What? They're cute!

Your clothes are tidied away, a candle is lit and left on your desk, and you decide to begin flicking through your cassette collection, deciding what music is best fitting to cover up the sounds of yours and Eddie's laughter.

Thank the Gods that you haven't put on any music just yet, as you can clearly hear the tap! of someone throwing pebbles at your window. You pull the window up, and prop it on the latch before staring down to reveal the culprit.

Eddie is standing there with another pebble in hand, only he drops it to the grass below, and sends you a goofy smile. "Ah, my Juliet!" Eddie calls out with one hand on his chest, the other stretching out in your direction. His voice is just above a whisper, however, you're still cautious of the noise.

You bring your finger to your lips as you order, "shh!"

"But my Juliet, won't you let down your hair?" Eddie grins.

With a brow raised, you scoff as you realise what Eddie is trying to reference. "Those are two different books, you idiot! No wonder you're failing English!"

"Meh," Eddie mutters with a mindless shrug. His eyes trail from yours as he focuses on the trellis climbing along your kitchen window, finishing just below your own. Your mother's roses are currently dormant, meaning she's not going to wake up to see a handful of them in the dirt, kicked aside as Eddie makes his climb. Phew, thank fuck!

Eddie gives the fence a gentle tug to test its stability before making his climb. Thankfully, your parents are in the living room, leaving Eddie to climb past the kitchen window unnoticed, even with the curtains drawn shut.

You automatically grab onto him as he comes into your reach, worried that he's going to slip and meet the grass below. Soon, Eddie scrambles through your window, and lets out a deep breath once his feet are stably on the carpet. You decide to leave the window open, just in case Eddie needs to make a swift exit...

"So," Eddie begins as he shrugs off his backpack and jacket, leaving them on your desk chair. "This is the Princess of Darkness's room, huh?" Eddie states as he slowly paces around your room, eyeing up every element as if he's in a museum.

"Don't judge me too hard," you shrug. It's not that your room is anything to be ashamed of, but it's far from your ideal cosy cave.

Eddie's eyes light up as he comes into contact with your lava lamp, currently unlit, on your bedside table. "I've always wanted one of these," Eddie mumbles as his hands follow the cord, and flick the light on. "How long does it take?" Eddie gestures.

"For it to... do its thing? About an hour," you explain.

"Damn," Eddie curses. "It's fine, I'm a patient man!"

He continues his adventure, and before you know it, Eddie's head is tilted to the side as he browses your cassette collection. "Pick whatever you want," you shrug as you get comfortable on your bed. "I was deciding before you came."

Eddie hums to himself, his fingertips brushing over the edges of the cases as he decides. Van Halen is fished out, and Eddie pops the cassette into the player. "Is this level okay?" Eddie questions as he turns the volume up, keeping the music somewhat loud, but quiet enough to talk freely, and not disturb your family.

"Yeah," you say with a nod. You watch as Eddie springs onto your bed, kicking off his Reebok's before getting comfortable besides you. "So..." he murmurs once more whilst crossing his legs. How he's able to cross his legs in those skinny jeans is beyond you, but he does it as if it's second nature.

Your eyes meet Eddie's, and you're instantly reminded of the purple bruise covering his cheekbone. "How is it?" you ask as you gesture to the bruise. It's no longer swollen like it was yesterday, but the purple blotches still remain, and no doubt, they'll stay there for another week.

Eddie rolls his eyes, "it's fine, mom," he curses, but follows his sarcasm up with that goofy smile that never fails to make your heart melt.

You know damn-well that Eddie hasn't bothered tending to the wound, and you also know damn-well that there's an ice pack waiting in your freezer. "Stay here, let me go and get something," you order as you shuffle up from your bed, with a single task in mind.

"Okay," Eddie nods, stretching out the word. "It's not like I have anywhere else to go!"

Scurrying downstairs, you make your way into the kitchen. An ice pack is pulled from your freezer, along with two glasses of water, seeing as you haven't even offered Eddie a drink yet. Poor man, he must be dying of thirst upstairs!

Your parents pay you no mind, too engrossed in whatever bullshit the news is currently spewing out. Upon returning to your room, the first thing you see is Eddie sprawled out on your bed. His eyes are shut, mimicking being asleep, cuddling a six-pack of ciders tightly in his arms. "Moron," you playfully mutter as you place the glasses of water down on your bedside table, before crawling onto the bed.

"Huh? What?!" Eddie stutters as he pretends to wake up, giving his eyes a tired rub. "Oh, it's just you! You took so long that I fell asleep. It's okay, though, I had these ciders to cuddle me throughout the night."

"Oh, you poor, lonely thing," you laugh. Whilst Eddie remains lying on your bed, you lean against his body to press the ice pack to his cheekbone, unfazed by the sensation of your torso being pressed to his chest.

Eddie shivers, and you're uncertain if it's from the chill, or the body contact. Regardless, he keeps his persona up, and meets your eyes as you tend to his bruise. "Seriously, though, do you want a cider? I couldn't get the ones you were drinking last Friday, but I-"

"-I'd love a cider," you interrupt, knowing that Eddie is going to ramble for the rest of time if you don't silence him now. He's just like that, forever feeling the need to explain every single action that he makes. A clear sign of trauma - one that you can relate to.

With one hand propping your weight up, and the other positioning the ice pack, Eddie decides to act as your saviour; he pops open a can, and brings the rim up to your lips. The positioning is awkward, but you manage to take a tiny sip before giggling at the arrangement.

"Here," Eddie says as he removes the ice pack from your grasp, freeing up your hand to take the cider from his. Do you dare think about the warmth of his palm, only coming into contact with your chilled hand for a brief second?

No, don't you dare think about it! Don't let that minor skin contact linger in your mind, heating up your cheeks with ease, making it obvious to Eddie that you're desperately touch starved, and oh-so-giddy about him.

Relax, girl!

You open up a cider for Eddie, and before you know it, you're sitting by his side as he lies on your bed, an ice pack on his face, and a cider in hand. He looks like a hospital patient that has snuck booze into his ward, and you're the sweet nurse that he can't help but flirt with.

"Okay, I can no longer feel my face," Eddie sighs, and places the ice pack on your bedside table. He slowly shuffles up into a sitting position, ensuring that not a single drop of his cider is spilt onto your luscious bedding. Oh, what a gentleman!

"Wait, one last thing," you mutter as you place your cider on the side. You pull a tub of ointment out from your top draw, and without hesitation, you take a small blob and begin massaging it over the bruise.

Skin contact? Again? No wonder your stomach is spinning like a washing machine on its last legs. It doesn't help that Eddie flutters his eyes shut, and a calm smile appears on his lips. "Cream?" he says with a gentle laugh. "What next? A band-aid? A healing kiss?"

Oh, Jesus.

As much as you want to pull him by the scruff of his band shirt, and press your lips to his, you don't quite have that confidence. You can, however, continue your flirtatious banter, and hope that the gap will soon be bridged.

"What would you prefer?" you ask.

Eddie's eyes slowly open as he clicks his tongue, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. He shakes his head softly, his eyes darting to his cider before meeting yours, full of the perfect blend of nerves and confidence. "What do you think, Sweetheart?" he throws the ball back in your court.

Thank Christ that you left your window open. Sweat forms above your brow as you swiftly plan your reply, wanting to keep the match going for a little longer. "Band-aid it is," you sarcastically reply, matching Eddie's soft laugh.

Eddie clicks his tongue once more as he shakes his head in disagreement, "oh, how you wound me!" he sighs as he clutches his chest.

With a laugh, you roll your eyes, "fine!" you pretend to look grumpy about his neediness, but the way your heart is thumping says otherwise. Tenderly, you lean forward and place a gentle kiss to Eddie's bruise, not wanting to irritate the area, or pull away with a mouthful of ointment on your lips.

Eddie grins like a child at Christmas, and the look in his eyes has you feeling lovesick. Fuck, he's adorable. How the hell can people view this cute bunny as a devil worshipper?!

"You're so sweet on lil' old me," Eddie playfully comments as he bats his lashes, and brings his free hand up to cover his shy expression with his hair. You can't help but laugh - truly, who wouldn't giggle at such a sweet sight?

"Someone has to be," you sarcastically comment, earning a chuckle from Eddie.

As his laughter trails off, Eddie takes a deep swig of his drink whilst his ears perk up at the music. He hums the melody, and his head begins to bounce, his curls rocking in time with the music, "this is one of my favourites."

You remain silent as you listen out, picking up the words with ease. "Oh, yeah!" you agree, the sound of 'Why can't this be love?' trailing around your room.

"Is this what you and your girls do when they come over? Listen to sappy, rock love songs?" Eddie grins, his feet subconsciously bouncing in time with the music.

This time, you're the one laughing. "I wish," you say with a sad shake of your head. "Misty prefers indie music," you explain. As much as you like her taste, it's not as heavy as you prefer. Then again, she probably thinks your music is too 'dark' to begin with.

"What do you do instead, then? Gossip? Talk about cute boys?" Eddie questions as he twirls one of his curls around his fingertip, batting his lashes like a cliché schoolgirl.

"Sometimes," you reply with a wink. "Especially ones with long hair, and a good taste in music."

Eddie places his fingers on his chin, clearly in deep thought. After a few moments of him rattling his brain, he shrugs, "hmm, I wouldn't know any!"

"Really?" you sarcastically sigh. "You're missing out, Eddie! He's a real catch," you chuckle. "But when we're not talking about cute boys, we're usually gossiping, or playing something silly like truth or dare."

Eddie, like the mastermind that he is, takes the opportunity to get to know you better, even if it is through a silly game. "Well, my lady. Perhaps I can tempt you into a silly game of truth or dare?"

You can't help but snort at the idea, in awe that not only has Eddie Munson 'broken' into your house, but he now wants to play such a game with you! "On one condition..." you groan.

"Go on," Eddie says with a gentle nod.

"We make it a drinking game."

Eddie literally lights up at your suggestion. "What a woman," he mutters under his breath, although you know his words are intentionally loud enough for you to hear. "Okay, how about we have to drink whenever we don't want to answer a question?"

"And when we can't think of anything to ask?" you suggest, feeling like the drinking side of the game is a little too easy.

"I like your style," Eddie grins.

After taking a swig from your drink, you ask the first of many inviting questions. "Eddie, truth or dare?"

-

The six-pack of ciders has long been finished, and you took up the liberty of sneaking into your parent's booze cabinet to fish out something that they won't miss. A cheap bottle of rum now sits on your bedside table, the taste washed down by even cheaper cola. It's painful to drink, simply because it's pure sugar and flat soda. Disgusting, really!

However, the booze has both yours and Eddie's lips loose, blabbering away as every truth or dare is cast.

"It's just a skull," Eddie explains as he brings his band shirt up over his chest, revealing his final tattoo. You had dared Eddie to show you all of his tattoos, expecting at least a crappy kiss mark on his bum. But, no, the most you're seeing of him is his lean torso, soft abs, and a decorative patch of fluff that thickens as it approaches the waistband of his jeans.

Oh, and the skull tattoo.

Yeah, you were totally looking at that!

"I like it," you nod, ensuring that your eyes are fixed on his tattoo.

Eddie brings his shirt down over his chest, and relaxes back onto your bed. He props himself up on his elbows, a half-empty drink in hand, warming up against the heat of his palm. "Your turn," Eddie smiles. "Truth or dare?"

The last time you chose dare, Eddie forced you to show him the most embarrassing item of clothing that you own. And to make matters worse, he asked to try said item on, to which you scoffed and shoved it deep within your wardrobe. "Truth," you decide.

Eddie's foot bounces subconsciously as he digs out another revealing question. "How about..." he stirs, "what are your plans for Homecoming?"

Fuck.

You let out a defeated sigh. "I've been trying to ignore that shit," you huff. Hawking High is currently plastered in posters and announcements, shoving Homecoming into the eyes of every poor student that graces their halls. It's not that you hate the event, but that you're simply not fussed about it - not excited, nor repulsed.

It's just... meh.

"You're doing a better job than me," Eddie says with a chuckle. "I'm going to eat the next Homecoming poster I see, like a goblin!" he states, followed by a keen lick of his lips.

"Eat?" you scoff. "If you're hungry, then you can chow down on the snacks that they have at Homecoming," you shrug.

Eddie chuckles before taking a sip of his drink, his lips pursing as the defeated taste of warm rum flows down his throat. "I take it you don't have any plans, then?" he innocently questions.

Gesturing to yourself, you tilt your head in amusement as you reply, "do I really look like someone who has plans for Homecoming?"

"I dunno," Eddie mindlessly shrugs. "I assumed your ex-boyfriend might have come crawling back, and asked you to be his date?"

There's a tint of disappointment to his words, as if you're about to reveal that your ex has, indeed, come crawling back. Eddie's eyes meet his drink as he awaits your reply, only for them to flick up to your expression as you scoff, "not in hell's chance."

"No?" Eddie repeats.

"God, no!" you laugh. "He hasn't spoken to me since last Friday, and even if he did, I'd shoo him away with a rolled up newspaper!"

Eddie begins to smile, but ends up chewing on his bottom lip instead. Is he trying to cover up his expression? You notice the way his shoulders drop with relief, only for his entire frame to be covered up as Eddie brings his drink up to his lips. "I'm happy to hear that," Eddie states as he sits upright. He picks the bottle of rum up off your bedside table, and silently offers you a refill.

"Please," you confirm as you stabilize both of your glasses. Eddie plays bartender as he pours your drinks, and returns to his laid back position once you're topped up.

"Your turn, Eddie. Truth or dare?" you question.

"Truth."

"What are you doing for Homecoming?" you grin.

Eddie softly shakes his head as he tuts your excitement. "You know the rules. No repeat questions, Sweetheart," Eddie scolds.

"Fine," you say with an exaggerated groan. You ponder on your wording, wanting to weave an exact answer out of his lips. You know that he's not the type to attend, yet you still need verbal confirmation - reassurance. "Who are you taking to Homecoming?" you question, the liquor speaking for you.

Eddie can't help but laugh, even more so as you press your palm to his mouth and hiss, "shush!" not wanting to alert your parents.

With a hand clutching his stomach, Eddie sits upright, chewing on his tongue in an attempt to bite back his laughter. "You're funny, you know that, right?" he snickers. Heat continues rising to Eddie's cheeks, and his curls dance as he shakes his head in disappointment. "There may be a line of people queueing up to be my date, but this guy has decided to ride solo," Eddie gestures to himself.

"Oh!" you sarcastically gasp. "Eddie, you're so desirable!"

"I know, I know," he winks. "But really, Sweetheart, I wasn't going to attend. My plans were to host a D&D session on the night as my nonconformist way of sticking it to the school, but some of the boys surprisingly want to attend. So, it looks like it'll just be me, and my right hand," Eddie explains as he raises his hand up, giving it a soft wave.

"I understand," you nod. "I tend to spend that night with the girls, but we haven't really spoken about it this year," you shrug. The magic has worn off; you used to spend weeks preparing for Homecoming, forever praying that someone will ask you out to that silly dance, only to be disappointed year after year. Why bother any more?

"Can you blame them?" Eddie shrugs. "Anyway, truth or dare?"

After taking a swig of your drink, you decide to keep the ball rolling. "Dare," you reply. You know that Eddie will probably stay on the topic of Homecoming, but you're eager to shake things up a bit, especially after your somewhat depressing confessions.

Indeed, Eddie stays on the topic of Homecoming, but his dare leaves you blushing heavier than a hopeless romantic! A warm smile appears on his lips, and you're almost certain that there are stars twinkling in his eyes. He's an angel, truly - an angel that has your stomach spinning, and your spine shivering with nothing but a simple, loving gaze.

"I dare you to go to Homecoming with me."

"W-what?" you sputter, batting your lashes like an innocent schoolgirl. You did hear that right, didn't you? Did he just...?

"You heard me, Princess," Eddie chuckles with a wicked grin. "You picked dare, so I dare you to go to Homecoming with me, or finish your drink."

You have to break eye contact. Christ, you're sweating like a sinner in a church, your cheeks feel so hot that they might explode! Your hand subconsciously moves up to cover your sappy smile, unable to stop grinning. "Shit," you curse under your breath.

Eddie's eyes widen as he gives you a silent nod, stating that he's eager for your reply. Wanting to match his cheekiness, you bring your drink up to your lips, to which Eddie sarcastically sighs in defeat.

"I'm kidding!" you laugh as you move your drink away, your lips untouched by the cheap rum and flat cola. "I'd love to go to Homecoming with you, Eddie."

"Really?" Eddie mocks with a sweet tone. He covers his expression with the wild curls of his hair, and bats his lashes like a shy child. "You really wanna be seen at Homecoming with this freak?" he jokes, yet there's seriousness beneath his words.

"Absolutely," you instantly nod, replying without any thought - not that you need it! "We're both freaks, Eddie, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

This time, Eddie is the one grinning like a child at Christmas. He lets out a nervous laugh as his eyes trail from yours, and the only way that he can calm down his flustered expression is by taking a deep gulp of his drink. "You're too sweet," Eddie states. "Gonna give me cavities."

"Coming from you," you flirt, and copy Eddie's idea by covering up your smile by gulping down your drink. "It's going to be fun, even if it is some shitty High school dance."

"Fuck," Eddie curses as he sits upright. A serious expression appears - brows furrowed, mouth blank - and Eddie confesses, "I don't know how to dance."

You bite back a laugh. You want to imitate his seriousness, but you just can't! Yet again, Eddie is turning you into a giggling mess, "neither do I," you confess.

"I mean, I don't think they allow headbanging at Homecoming, do they?" Eddie begins. He bounces upright on your bed, and outstretches his free hand to wield his air guitar. "How about we ruin Homecoming? We could put blast out heavy metal, and scare all those peppy bitches away, right?!"

"You're reading my mind!" you laugh. Eddie's eyes meet yours, and there's nothing but warmth and admiration in them. You've become used to that nervous feeling in your chest, rattling away whenever Eddie gawks at you like a lovesick puppy. Shit, you must be just as bad, seeing as he does nothing but smile when in your presence.

As excited as you are to ruin Homecoming, you still want to look somewhat presentable. "But Eddie..." you trail off, and let your mind speak without thought. "I want to look decent at Homecoming. What are you wearing? I know people tend to match colour schemes and all that, but if-"

"-What were you thinking of wearing, Princess? This is your night, so I'm happy to put something silly on just to make you smile."

Heat rises to your cheeks, laced with cheap and tacky liquor. "I, uh..." you stutter. You didn't think this far, expecting Eddie to shrug you off with some comment like, "you'll look great in anything, babe!" just like your ex did.

Instead, you spring to your feet, almost spilling your drink before putting it to rest on your beside table. "So, I was thinking..." you trail off as you crouch down against the side of your bed, and pull out a box hidden deep within your pile of mischief.

Opening up the box, you pull out an unworn, black, lacy dress, and stand to press the dress against your frame. "It was an impulse purchase, and as much as I've been dying to wear it out, I haven't yet. Parents opinion, and all that," you explain.

You're caught up in your head, engulfed in the way you look with the dress against your body, gawking at your mirror in the corner of your room. Shit, does it still fit? Does it look as good as you envision it in your mind? What shoes would you wear? And accessories? Not to mention your hair and makeup-

"Beautiful," Eddie mutters, catching your attention. "You're my Princess of Darkness, that's for sure," Eddie smiles.

All self-conscious thoughts are swiftly stripped from your mind from that look alone. Reassurance has only ever been a word for you - just a word, nothing more, nothing less - until Eddie "the freak" Munson came along, and put true meaning behind it.

Seriously, how can you doubt yourself when he's eyeing you up like his bride on his wedding day?!

"Are you sure-?"

"-Yes," Eddie cuts you off. "I mean, I don't know shit about fashion," he laughs as he gestures to his scruffy self, "but I know a Princess when I see one."

Would it be acceptable to drop to one knee, and propose to him on the spot? Who cares about gender roles! You want to marry him. Now!

"You're so sweet," you blush, and begin packing the dress away, leaving it on your desk, ready for next Friday.

"Only for you," Eddie winks, and clicks his tongue. "I'll match your style, not that I've, uh- ever done this before."

Shock floods your expression as you return to the bed, finding yourself rather cozy beside Eddie. Your sides touch, as do your fingertips, as Eddie passes you your lukewarm drink. "Never?" you innocently bat your lashes, in awe at Eddie's confession. "I always thought that... I don't know- maybe you've asked someone before? But now I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen you at any school event."

"Huh, wonder why?" Eddie sheepishly chuckles. His hand finds the back of his neck, subconsciously rubbing over the area, and his eyes fixate on the rips in his jeans, suddenly interested in the frayed fabric. "Yeah, I've never been to anything that the school has to offer. Can you blame me? I'm not exactly welcome there."

"Eddie," you pout. Without any thought, your hand finds Eddie's forearm, and you give it a little squeeze of reassurance. Eddie's eyes trail from his jeans, confirming that, yes, you are comforting him right now. "They're bullshit, honestly, but we'll make the most of it."

Warm eyes meet yours, along with a gentle smile. "Yeah," Eddie agrees with a light nod. "Who knows? Maybe the freak and the ex-cheerleader will be crowned Homecoming King and Queen?" he jokes, lightening the tense moment.

"Could you imagine?" you laugh, and move your hand from Eddie's forearm to cover your giggles. "I think they'd pretend to crown us, just so they can throw tomatoes at us!"

Eddie sits upright, and puffs his chest out as he responds, "you think so? That's fine with me. I like tomatoes!" He pretends to catch the imaginary tomatoes in his mouth, letting out an "ooh!" when one 'misses' and hits him in the chest.

Your cheek muscles begin to ache from laughter, and you have to calm Eddie before he becomes engulfed in his fantasy. "My parents," you hush, and place a hand on Eddie's chest to guide him back into his previous relaxed position.

With a cheeky grin, Eddie relaxes, and swiftly finishes the remainder of his drink, flatter than a pancake from being swirled around in his glass. "Finish up," Eddie urges as he points to your drink. "This bartender is waiting to pour you a refill!"

-

Thank fuck that it's a not a school night. Your eyes meet the clock before focusing back on Eddie, 01:29am, who is currently swinging his leg over your window.

"There it is," Eddie comments as his foot finds a comfortable starting point on the trellis, ready to climb down, and make his way home. His hands remain on the window ledge as Eddie looks up at you, leaning over the window to watch his embark.

"Thank you for tonight," you smile. Without hesitation, your lips find Eddie's cheek, and you plant a gentle kiss on the area. His curls brush against your jawline as you move away, and you're met by that sappy grin - the one that never fails to leave your stomach spinning. "And thank you for asking me to Homecoming," you add.

"Heh," Eddie chuckles. "I'm the one who should be thanking you!"

"You don't need to," you shake your head. "Now go on, before you break my mother's fence," you urge with a sweet laugh.

"Yes, Ma'am!" Eddie winks, and begins his careful climb down the trellis, begrudgingly freeing himself from your company.

Once Eddie's feet are on the ground, he gawks up at you, and casts you a salute as he calls out, "sleep tight, Princess!"

"I'll see you on Monday," you wave, and watch as Eddie bounces across your front lawn, soon disappearing down the street to begin his journey home.

After letting out a deep, lovestruck sigh, you move away from your window. You can't bring yourself to close it shut, praying that Eddie will come running back and sneak in once more. Instead, you accept the chilly autumn air seeping into your room - your room that is almost spinning in your dazed, drunken state.

You get yourself ready for bed, and snuggle under the covers. There's still warmth from where you and Eddie have been sitting, chewing each other's ears off throughout the night. The music fell silent ages ago, but neither of you noticed, engulfed in what each other had to offer.

Your hand finds the lava lamp on your bedside table, and you trail along the cord to find the switch. Even once you flick it off, you can still feel heat radiating from it, the dimmed lava psychedelically bubbling away - a sight that Eddie was rather keen on when it finally began 'doing its thing.'

Hm, maybe you'll buy him one of his own. You can envision it now, red and yellow, the same colours as the demon on his Hellfire shirt. Eddie would quite literally light up at the present, and probably gush something along the lines of, "awh, you didn't have to, Princess!"

You make a mental note to buy one whenever you're in town next, which, no doubt, will probably be in Eddie's company. As you go to finally shut your eyes, you look at the box on your desk, filled with the dress that you're going to wear to Homecoming.

Fuck, is this really happening? You have a date, none other than Hawkins High's spawn of the devil. Sure, he's a total weirdo, with his puppy dog eyes, soft curls, and tender pet names for you, and you alone.

You're excited, you can't wait! What a sight you're going to be, hand in hand with Eddie Munson. Maybe Jason was right? Maybe Eddie has corrupted you - ruined the star cheerleader, not that you've ever felt like one.

Regardless, you're already fluttering with excitement as you shut your eyes - or maybe that's the liquor flowing through your system? Either way, you fall asleep with a smile on your lips, and the faint scent of Eddie still lingering on your covers.

Tag list: @bubblegumcat229 @buckys2thicc @livthelonleyfish @bubblebuttwade @sergeantbuckybarnes @kik51199 @preciousbabypeter @rosaline-black​ @boundtomyfate @be-the-spark-bitch @summerofsnowflakesfics @fi-chanwrites @reveller-upon-opium @official-clint-barton​ @clzt4​ @chipster-21​ @dragon-ash13​ @carliuxima​ @eddiemattress​ @8ether @oddityhag @laurykat23 @ghostkit @dovahkiin-19

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[wuiwuikiui]

what are some of your hottest vsynth takes

hi this is a lot of negative and complainy stuff have fun.

illustrators in the community are absolutely tossed aside.

you dont need to use voice synth programs to be a huge vocal synth fan.

utau isnt hard compared to most vocal synths. all voice synths are hard and have their own learning curve. it's just a matter if you want to learn it.

kikuo isnt unique, like at all. its more like combining 3 different styles (edm, orchestral, and like music box sounds???) into one song and the songs where he doesnt use like all three or more are good but like. i wouldnt call them unique. particularly salty abt this bc there was this one person that would never shut the fuck up about how unique kikuo was when its like... yeah kinda mid.

female utau voicebanks sound bad. i dont know what it is they just sound like dog doo doo a good 70% of the time. male ones almost always pop off- worst case theyre a little flat and plain.

utau and pre vocaloid 5 are better than any ai ever.

ai voicebanks are weird. i get it. theyre really cool and impressive. however, they don't give off what made vocaloid unique back in its day. there's a few ai vbs that are "robotic" (kafu, kevin, uhhh) and theyre honestly the best ais out there. for realistic vocals- best ones are stardust and solaria.

with that being said uncanny > realistic > robotic

i hate vocals that are extremely choppy and robotic like defoko sorry girlboss.

the project diva franchise sucks ass. i dont think this is unpopular, but i literally cant play the pc ver of mega mix bc the audio doesnt work with RAZER HEADPHONES. like the best gaming headphones out there and i have to play it with my headphones unplugged or it sounds like its from splatoon. even the older games are kinda meh, like dont give them rooms and talking man- just let me tap tap button chart.

meiko is actually so mid. im so sorry i dont understand the appeal to her voice. both deep and when its squeaky.

almost all english voicebanks (with exception of a couple of ai vbs) are garbage. and i know its bc the language is harder to replicate blah blah blah phonetics blah.

talkloids are annoying. the only good one is that one of shuu and ruko on miku day that i saw on twitter. funniest shit. you can hear the happiness in their voices.

bring back the cevio colour series.

proseka en was the worst thing to happen to the vocaloid fandom in 10 years.

proseka > project diva

friday night funkin was the worst thing to happen to utau. ever.

9zero is cool as fuck. he sounds like GARBAGE- but oh my god you know what this means- were getting closer to true rock synths.

vocalo changer is lazy. with that being said. i love it. as long as the person that creates content with it acknowledges it as lazy, have fun.

they/them pronouns for any voice synth character is so fucking real. do it more.

creep-ps music slaps so hard. both old and new.

ikus og vb is better than her remaster

dont get mad at p's for moving on in the music industry. voice synths are a hobby. not an industry material.

people that literally interpret the vippers bios are the worst people and need to fall over.

[luminous-letters]

So for context. Superhero! AU though there isn't any battle thing. Just you and Jack trying to get out of a mansion. And lemons. P.S My english isn't that good so I apologize in advance for having grammatical errors. Anyways, please enjoy a fic I wrote on a whim (again)

Word count: 980

"Ah~ Finally. The hero, the legend. The fabled hero, Captain Howl! Whatever brings you to my evil lair?" Shrimpy cooed, taking a sip from their 100% organic, freshly squeezed lemon juice.

"I do love myself some exquisite lemons, and also the juice kind by the way."

"Your twisted plans end here!" Jack gritted, annoyed at the 'threat' the department was asking him to stop. All he's seeing here is a masked, juice loving bastard, though they seem pretty familiar.

"Oh my how could I have forgotten! I still have to introduce myself." Shrimpy exclaimed, throwing the empty glass away, a loud explosion briefly rang in the air.

Jack remained still and kept on his poker face, he shouldn't be caught off guard. Truth be told he doesn't know a thing about this 'Shrimpy', only that they were a dramatic asshole and they enjoy lemons.

"Allow me to start." A snap of their fingers and a giant floating screen appeared.

"Anyways. I am Shrimpy, genius and supervillain prodigy. I intend on conquering the world or maybe open up a little juice shop, I don't really know lol. But for now I'm going to stick to world domination. And you Captain Howl, are going to help me achieve that goal, either of the two is nice though." Shrimpy declared boldly, turning off the screen to end their presentation.

Jack raised his brow in genuine confusion. This person is insane, he thought.

"I won't let that happen." Jack replied plainly. Trying to wrap his head around Shrimpy's logic.

"By persuasion of course. Consent is sexy after all." Shrimpy said, drinking another cup of juice in hand.

Clank. The loud boom of the heavy metal doors caught Jack's attention. He's going to be here for a while.

"..."

"..."

"Alright we're going to the third floor."

"Why the hell am I supposed to listen to you."

"Because *sips* I put traps all over the place and the security is on high alert. I need to turn it off."

"Why can't you turn it off yourself?"

"It's on the third floor duh. How am I supposed to turn it off here."

"You locked yourself in."

"..."

"That part was...miscalculated."

"Huff, fine."

"Cool, now get in the car."

"What?"

"A car? You know....four wheels...a door....entitled drivers."

And by some sort of miracle or whatever divine intervention there was indeed a car. Jack couldn't believe his eyes. How the hell is there a CAR indoors. What the fuck.

"I call shotgun." Shrimpy chimed, hopping into the car.

"Are you expecting me to drive?"

"Yeah, I don't know how to drive."

"You're insufferable."

"Why thank you."

-After a while of driving-

"Alright, now go towards that hallway the stairs should be there." Shrimpy said, tapping away on their laptop.

"Slow down we're not in a hurry." Shrimpy replied blankly.

Rows of classical portraits and antique vases passed by the two while regal music played in the background. Just how long was this hallway?

A beeping sound caught Jack's attention, looking over to Shrimpy, who was looking rather amused while sipped their lemon juice.

"Alright speed up, I accidentally activated the machine guns."

"WHAT??? HOW???"

"Meh, I don't know either."

"You're going to get us killed."

"I have a nice response for that. But we've got to pass that door before the machine guns activate and pulverize us." They pointed to a dark oak door with golden linings.

Jack stepped on the gas and hoped for the best. Like Shrimpy said, guns started to appear from the walls, and winding up.

"We're gonna die lmao."

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

By the time the guns were wound up and loaded, the duo managed to pass the door, the car only getting grazed by a few bullets.

"That was nice."

"No it wasn't."

"Howl get the lemon"

Jack manuevers to reach the lemon.

"Vitamin C."

"Oh my Seven, Jack avoid the incoming cars."

"?????"

-After a while of avoiding cars, Jack questioning reality and collecting lemons-

"Alright, we've finally reached the staircase." Shrimpy sighed in delight. Lying down on the red carpeted floor.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Resting. It's been a rough 3 hours and 7 minutes."

Jack said nothing. Instead, he looked at the giant painting of a fluffy dog.

"Look at that dog 75% fluff, 13% angy and 12% chonk." Shrimpy lazily stated, still lying on the floor.

"And you, Captain Howl. 42% godly muscles, 29% brains, 12% tsundere and 17% floof. "

"Uhh...thank you?"

"I'm Yuu by the way. You probably don't remember me...we used to go to college together." There was a shift in their voice, it's much more...sad?

"Yuu??? Of course I remember you." That explains a lot of what happened today. He does really remember them. He wouldn't be able to forget them even if he tried, they're too...important to him.

"Wait how did you know my identity?" Jack wondered.

"Jack, honey, sweetie, fluffball. Your last name is Howl. You go running around with your ears and tail in shouting justice in a sexy costume that gives me a clear outline of your abs. Of course I know it's you. Also because I looked into the department's files and found yours lol."

"Hey, my costume's family friendly."

"I really hope that what I'm seeing isn't the outline of your dong, also damn that thing's huge."

"Alright not family friendly. I'll ask for a new one."

"That's nice. Now let's kill the security system."

"Yuu wait."

"Hm?"

"You...uh...wanna go out sometime? After this, I mean. I know a place...they have uh...nice steaks and...um. Just say yes."

"Ok? Yes I do."

"Good."

After walking up a few steps, Jack wanted to clarify something.

"Are you still planning on taking over the world?"

"Meh. I already lost interest a few hours ago."

"Ok that's nice."

"Now I have the strange desire of frolicking in the woods in white robes, chanting ominously to scare the crap out of tourists lmao."

"That...could be arranged."

[atsudesu]

─ BEST & WORST SUBJECTS

includes. atsumu, osamu & suna.

this prolly has done so many times already yeah yeah ik but i wanted to write?? so i did HA. btw this excludes art, music, pe etc. only main subjects.

also this is p half-assed so... sry 💔

✧ | miya atsumu

the best ─ math;

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW BUT LISTEN!!!

i think we all agree that he's not that into school stuff.

BUT he cares about his academic achievements to not to be exempt from club activities!

math is one of his biggest struggles, that's why he tries to fix that. (he could cheat but he gets caught every single time he tries to do so, that's why he gave up on it 🤧)

if we take into account his hard-working nature and desire to be the number one, i believe he gives his weight to math for the sake of volleyball !! and to show his grades off to osamu lol

i just feel like he's generally better at numeric/quantitative subjects.

i mean yeah, he's not fond of solving problems and puzzles but still he's better at them!

bc the likes of literature kinda bore him. he can't keep his focus on the lesson if teacher just keeps talking and talking and talking.

that's why he prefers math, which lets him think efficiently and use his brain actively!! ahh, my diligent husband, i love him <33

the worst ─ history;

as i've mentioned, the subjects which makes it a necessity for him to just listen to the teachers are BORING.

due to that he doesn't understand a shit.

he knows he has to study history but he didn't even look at the history teacher in the class he was thinkin abt u hehe

and now, even if he grabs the book to read a couple of lines he'll be like 😐

he can't remember the dates and the important details about wars, migrations, rulers...

he doesn't give a damn about why mehmed the conqueror was so important for ottoman history or how the ii. world war started.

he can't pay attention to something he doesn't find interesting.

he'll occasioanlly ask you to come over to help him won't make u tell everything all over again to watch ur pretty face more ofc

if he decides to study properly he'll manage to get the minimum passing score or a lil higher but still meh :/

✧ | miya osamu

the best ─ literature

contrary to common belief

he's not the smarter twin or smth

he's almost same as atsumu

he has neither a best nor a worst subject,

math is too complex, english is too confusing, science is... don't even mention (yeah maybe he does have a worst subject 🙁)

he's a literature guy!

he's not that into it but i feel like he kinda enjoys reading paragraphs about stuff he's interested in.

learning about important literary works and authors may be a little hard for him since his memory is- ....bad (ik he has a bad memory & no criticism pls)

but his scores are pretty good at literature.

the worst ─ physics

okay, as i've said;

DON'T EVEN MENTION

he sucks at it; atsumu's even better at physics

in an exam that's his line of thought;

"ok so i divided 9 to 00,7 then... well this must be the cubage. no it's momentum, are you an idiot? but this test isn't about fundamental forces? what- i-" this is so shitty ik i can't be funny

he can never keep the formuls in mind bad memory

unlike atsumu, he doesn't attempt to fix it, he's a good cheater 🥴

if he ever asks you to study with him i don't think it's just to watch your pretty pretty face like atsumu

he will really put effort into it to impress you hehe

✧ | suna rintarou

the best ─ history

it's not like he likes history or smth

HE HATES IT

he never seems to pay attention;

he leans back against the chair, taps his fingers on the desk loudly and stares at teacher's face CONSTANTLY to make him uncomfortable

sometimes teacher just pauses and stares back and,,,, HE HATES SUNA OMG-

THIS LITTLE BASTARD NEVER TAKES NOTES BUT GETS HIGH GRADES- HOW?!

well, he may not specifically pay attention or listen but he doesn't do something that can occupy himself and take his attention off the class fully.

he still hears and that's enough for him 🤷‍♀️

also mocks atsumu for not getting it

the worst ─ biology

i do not have a valid reason for this,, i'm sorry

he just seems like the type to ask the most stupid questions in the middle of the biology classes and no i don't have any example bc i cannot be funny

he's kinda scared of that teacher bc once he made a joke about gamogenesis and teacher roasted him thus he embarrassed himself in front of his crush

he never makes jokes in biology classes ever since

but please you cannot tell me he's not the type to pull the lamest jokes just to make his crush smile i wanna kith him pls

i don't think he puts effort into lessons even if he's bad at them. he couldn't be care less.

bc another good cheater ;)

also, if he notices that you're having a hard time w any exam, he's willing to let you see his sheet.

he'll ask you to study w him at school's library but you guys will end up kicked out bc you laugh at his lame jokes lol

[mischief-marauders]

Okay, I just finished Ginny and Georgia and I have some thoughts I’d like to share after seeing some of the discourse online:

First I’d like to thank Taylor Swift for throwing stones in glasses houses and securing a season 2. Currently streaming Better Than Revenge as thanks ❤️

MANG is mangy. That friend group could be cool at times but overall they were toxic as hell and Ginny and Max deserved better. Especially Ginny. The micro aggressions they were throwing at her was fucked up.

Something I really appreciated were how the POC were seen as the hottest people in the show. They were sidelined a bit which was meh but overall Padma, Joe, Sophie, Zion, Bracia, and Ginny were all bad as hell.

MANG. Abby deserves jail time for her shit. She was hella rude to Ginny from the get go. She literally slapped Ginny when Ginny was trying to comfort her and overall felt threatened by my girl. I mean yeah I feel bad for her at times BUT she’s toxic! So is Nora! Snitching to everyone that Georgia has guns, maam mind your buisness!

Ginny should’ve beat the shit out of Abby the moment she put hands on her AND when she told Hunter about Ginny and Marcus. I was waiting for Ginny is throw down but she didn’t :/ If Ginny hadn’t listened to Abby, her and Max might still be friends. I cannot stress this enough but I cannot stand Abby.

I love Max but she needs to get her head out of her ass. It’s always “me this” and “me that”. Her friends are shitty as hell for enabling her. No one ever gives her the dose of reality she needs. I clapped when Marcus said she suffocated Sophie because he was RIGHT.

Look, I know Ginny can be annoying BUT I feel for her. She’s never had structure, never had roots. The first time she’s had close friends and she wants to keep them. She was a better friend to Max than Abby or Norah and that’s saying a LOT.

The way Hunter has zero personality and tried to make Ginny feel crazy about their English teacher......bro pls shut up. Pls.

While Georgia may not be the best person, she does everything with the common goal of giving her kids a life she didn’t have. Even if she sometimes steps on them to do so.

Oppression Olympics. I have many thoughts on this scene. Overall? Cringy. Ginny should NOT have told him she was more Asian than him. That was out of pocket. Although....she did make some points other than that. Whole Hunter may be content with letting casual racism slide, Ginny doesn’t and he shouldn’t be gaslighting her about that.

The amount of times I’ve seen the “Abby was right for slapping Ginny, shes a bitch and deserved it” is concerning. It’s also concerning how everyone was QUICK to villanize Ginny (woc) and victimize Abby (white). It did not sit right with me because there’s definitely some racial undertones there.

Overall the show was okay. Not the best. They definitely need some color in that writing room. I would not rewatch. I’ve had enough of Hunter singing and tap dancing for one lifetime. Give the POC’s some more screentime and give Austin, Ginny, Georgia, Abby, and Max some therapy.

[alice-beaumont-ravenclaw]

Hottest Spot South of Havana (Part 1)

A/N #1: Yay! The first part of the first fic in the Brazilian series is finally here! It was supposed to be a much shorter fic, but turned out way longer than I expected. Thankfully, dividing it into two parts works. The title is inspired by Barry Manilow’s Copacabana (At the Copa). Fun fact: that song is about a murder. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Galeão International Airport. Local time is 8:10 pm, and the temperature is 27°C. For your safety and comfort, please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the Captain turns off the Fasten Seat Belt sign. This will indicate that we have parked at the gate and that it is safe for you to move about. Please check around your seat for any personal belongings you may have brought on board with you, and please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy articles may have shifted around during the flight. If you require deplaning assistance, please remain in your seat until all other passengers have deplaned. One of our crew members will then be pleased to assist you. On behalf of British Airways and the entire crew, I’d like to thank you for joining us on this trip, and we are looking forward to seeing you onboard again soon. Have a nice stay!” announced the flight attendant.

“I can’t believe we’re finally in Rio!” said Penny as she looked out the small window. 

“I can’t believe we’re finally going to get off that plane! Poor Dennis. Transfigured into a plush toy for 13 hours,” said Tulip, petting a plush frog.

“They wouldn’t have allowed a live frog on a flight. Besides, why didn’t you leave him at home? You’ll have to transfigure him every time we go somewhere,” asked Andre.

“Not every time! He can roam free on the beach. And I would never leave Dennis behind. I’d feel like I was abandoning my child!”

“I’m sure no one will stare at a girl with a toad on a leash at the beach,” mumbled Alice as she took her backpack from under the seat in front of her, the seatbelt sign having been turned off.

“Why couldn’t I bring Newt with me?” asked Barnaby.

“Your bowtruckle?” asked Tonks, to which Barnaby nodded.

“Because they are magical creatures Muggles know nothing about. It’s like if I wanted to bring a dragon…” said Charlie as he took out carry-on luggage from the overhead bins.

“With the big difference that bowtruckles won’t try to burn everything around to a crisp,” said Diego, smirking as he took the handle of his carry-on.

“Dragons are very misunderstood creatures,” said Charlie with a small pout.

“Sure they are,” said Alice, giving him a small peck on the cheek as she took his hand to lead him out of the plane.

After going through customs, the group went to pick up their luggage before heading toward the taxi area.

“Ok, so, Diego, you take one taxi with Andre, Barnaby, and Charlie. I’ll go with Penny, Tonks, and Tulip,” said Alice as they waited in line.

“Why am I in charge of that group?” asked Diego, raising an eyebrow.

“You speak Spanish.”

“You are aware they speak Portuguese in Brazil, right?”

“I know. But no one speaks Portuguese in our group. We speak Latin languages, so we might be slightly better at understanding Portuguese.”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh look!” said Andre pointing at a sign indicating “Escada rolante” over an escalator. “They have an Escada up those stairs!” 

“Oh! And they even have a library at the airport. I wonder how borrowing works at an airport library,” said Penny as she pointed at a bookstore with the word “Livraria” above it.

“You were saying?” said Alice, looking at Diego.

“Ok, you might be on to something. But that doesn’t mean we’ll be able to understand when someone speaks Portuguese.”

“Oh, I know I won’t. I thought the flight attendant was speaking Russian after making the English announcements until I realized it didn’t make sense since we were heading to Rio, not Moscow. But we still have a small advantage over our friends.”

“Wait, so the guys will be in one taxi, and the girls in another? What if something happens?” asked Charlie. 

“We are four witches. If anyone tries something funny with us, I’m pretty sure we’ll be able to defend ourselves,” said Alice, crossing her arms as she looked at Charlie, bemused.

“Not to mention, I have a stash of dungbombs with me,” added Tulip, making everyone turn around to stare at her.

Before anyone could say anything, it was their turn to take a taxi. They separated into the two groups Alice had planned and headed toward the Copacabana Palace. In the girls’ taxi, Penny and Alice were busy telling Tulip to be careful with the dungbombs while Tonks sat at the front, trying to have a conversation with the taxi driver. In the boys’ taxi, Charlie sat at the front, keeping an eye on the girls’ taxi, Barnaby doing the same thing as he sat in the middle of the backseat. Andre was nodding off as Diego tried to understand what the taxi driver was telling him. 

When they finally arrived at the hotel, Alice made her way to the hotel’s reception while her friends looked in awe at the lobby. 

“So this is how the other half lives,” said Tonks as she looked at the chandelier dangling from the ceiling.

“I’m pretty sure it’s the top 1% that lives like that,” said Tulip as she stared at the people walking around. 

“I feel so out of place,” whispered Charlie to Andre.

“Don’t. Just enjoy it. Your girl really gave us a treat,” whispered back Andre.

“Actually, it’s my father’s treat,” said Alice as she stood behind them, keys in hand.

“Alice! How long have you…” started saying Charlie.

“Long enough to tell you there’s no reason you should feel out of place. You are a charming young man who was raised by the one and only Molly Weasley. As long as you don’t fart or burp in public, and you don’t walk around public areas stark naked, you’re good,” said Alice, linking her arm with her boyfriend’s.

“So, are we getting to our rooms? It’s like midnight in the UK, and if I don’t see a bed soon, I am crashing on those sofas,” said Penny, pointing at the sofas in the lobby.

“Yeah, yeah, just let me tell the bell boy where to drop our luggage,” replied Alice.

After speaking to the bell boy, Alice rejoined her friends and led them to the elevator. Once inside, she pressed on the top floor button.

“Top floor, huh? Isn’t it usually where the penthouse is?” whispered Andre with a sly smile.

Alice froze for an instant, glancing at Andre, before looking back to the elevator’s buttons.

“Oh. My. God. We are in the penthouse?!” loudly whispered Andre.

“Shhhh! We are in two penthouse suites, but nobody needs to know about the penthouse part,” angrily whispered Alice.

“Like they won’t notice. Are you trying to make Charlie uncomfortable? Why didn’t you go for standard rooms?”

“You think I asked for those rooms? They were the only ones left! Dad didn’t tell me until I was back home for the break. He meant well, but I know it looks like I’m flaunting my family’s wealth,” grumbled Alice as the elevator doors opened.

“Welcome to the Penthouse level,” said two butlers.

“So much for keeping the Penthouse part a secret,” said Andre as he patted Alice’s back.

“Crap. Butlers,” said Alice under her breath.

“Penthouse? Damn, Alice, your father is giving us the royal treatment,” said Tonks, tapping her friend’s back as she left the elevator.

“Are you the Beaumont party?” asked one of the butlers.

“Yes, we are,” said Alice as she followed the others out of the elevator.

“Let us show you to your rooms,” said the other butler as they led the group to two doors.

“Ok, so, we will be four per room. The girls will be in that room,” started saying Alice, as she handed the keys to her friends. “The boys will be in the other one.”

“Wait, you’re not sharing a room with Charlie?” asked Penny, raising an eyebrow.

“Hum, no? Why would I?” said Alice, staring at Penny.

“Well… You two are a couple. And after last summer, I thought…” started saying Penny.

At the mention of the summer vacations before their seventh year, both Alice and Charlie became red in the face.

“Welp! Time for bed! Good night everyone!” said Alice as she pushed Penny inside their room.

“But, Miss, we have to unpack your luggage,” said one of the butlers.

“We can manage, thank you,” said Alice as she quickly grabbed the suitcases before closing the door.

“What just happened?” asked Barnaby as the guys entered their room.

“Not really sure… Wait, did you and Alice…” said Diego, staring at Charlie.

“Yup. They totally did,” said Andre, smirking.

“Do you have to tell him?” asked Charlie, frowning.

“Come on. It was all over your face when Penny alluded to it.”

“What did Alice and Charlie do?” asked Barnaby.

“The birds and the bees, Barnaby,” explained Diego.

“What’s so special about Transfiguration?” asked Barnaby, scratching his head.

“Ok, Barnaby and I will take the room, you two get the rollaway beds,” said Charlie as he entered the room.

“Hey! We didn’t even discuss it!” complained Andre.

“You two can’t mind your own business, so you deserve the rollaway beds,” replied Charlie, slamming the door behind him.

“I think we went a bit too far with Charlie,” said Diego, sitting at the edge of his bed.

“Meh, he’ll get over it,” replied Andre, shrugging as he dropped his bag on his bed.

“Huh… Guys?” said Barnaby, standing in front of the bedroom door.

“What?” asked Diego and Andre.

“You think I can go in there even if Charlie just slammed the door in my face?”

A/N #2: Hope you enjoyed this first part which is basically their arrival in Rio and some info about Alice and Charlie’s relationship. Part 2 coming soon.

[pcdmorcs]

—— isn’t that sturgis podmore? yeah that is them, outside the three broomsticks! they used to be in gryffindor but apparently they now work as an auror. sybill once said that they reminded her of  never backing down – from anything; hot summer nights and cool breezes; huffs that cover smiles, and smiles that cover disappointment; rules dedicatedly memorized - first to break, then to enforce; and giving every day your everything just in case it's your last, which seems about right. anyway i’ve heard they’re still a bit hardworking, disciplined, and competitive, they’re thirty four in letters now but some things never change! i wonder how being a pureblood is affecting them after school, especially now they’re an agent with the order of the phoenix. i guess only time will tell… —— pinterest || playlist

tw: injury mention, death/killing mention

→ NAME: sturgis cecil podmore → NICKNAMES: stu, sturg, grandpa, idk call him whatever you think of we’ll try it out   → AGE / D.O.B.: 34  /  8 September, 1943 → SPECIES: pureblood wizard (but the podmores don’t care, this is just coincidental) → GENDER / PRONOUNS: cismale / he&him → SEXUALITY: irrelevant - because he’s spoken for

FAMILY → PARENTS: Mr & Mrs Podmore → SIBLINGS: WHO KNOWS? it could be you! (probably sister/s) → COUSINS: open! (if you want) → ESTRANGED:  ex-wife. Judith Podmore (divorced 8 years) → PETS: 1 owl: Betsy;  2 BIG doggos: Dylan (a 4 yo newfoundland) ; Simon (6 yo neapolitan mastiff) 

LIFESTYLE → BORN: derby, england → RAISED: derby → CURRENT RESIDENCE: chelsea → NATIONALITY: english → SPOKEN LANGUAGES: english  → OCCUPATION: auror  → DRINK | SMOKE | DRUGS: sometimes, sometimes, not anymore → RELIGION: meh

PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES → FACE CLAIM: wilson bethel → ETHNICITY: caucasian  → HEIGHT: 6′2″ → WEIGHT: 200 lbs → BUILD: tall, stocky, solid, broad - a very big man → HAIR: short, blondish → EYE COLOR: green → DOMINANT HAND: ambidextrous  → SCENT: soap → NERVOUS HABITS: huffing, crossing his arms, tapping his foot

CHARACTER → MORAL ALIGNMENT: mostly lawful good → MBTI: enfj → WESTERN ZODIAC: virgo → SONG: subterranian homesick blues - bob dylan

MAGIC → WAND: yew, hippogriff feather, 11", unyielding → PATRONUS: rottweiler → BOGGART:  caterpillars

BIO

sturgis wasn’t always the solid guy he is now – but if he’s anything, he’s the poster boy of making something out of yourself, and making the people around you proud 

he grew up in derby, with plenty of other young punks in the making

everyone loves to fight and drink and have a good time, and sturgis was no exception. he just grew up, and grew out of it, while the people around him .... did not, mostly.

and that was sad to see, but, truthfully, as the years went on, sturgis saw less and less of his derby friends anyways, because his years at hogwarts were, surprisingly, giving him something to work for.

it wasn’t as though his going to hogwarts had ever been a surprise, however, sturgis didn’t start out as the most dedicated student. he liked to fight and fuck around, and he liked to have a good time

but as the years began to demand more of him, he chose to give more, signing up for electives at random (for a laugh) and then finding that he actually enjoyed some of the subjects. 

actually he found out that when he was paying attention he liked most of it, (well as much as you could really like school without being a total nerd, right) and he was good at it, when he applied himself – he liked that, too, naturally.

at no point, however, in any of his scraps, had sturgis ever been in a fight because he was picking on someone. no, he might have spent a few years as a screw up, but he was no bully, and a lot of the fights he started were on the behalf of his friends, and occasionally, random lower years.

he’s never had a problem whooping ass in the name of justice

so when he found out that there were a few careers he could actually enjoy, careers that involved whooping ass in the name of justice, no less ..... you could say he was pretty stoked.

but he was also determined, and he worked harder than ever, and he’s never really stopped.

he went from hogwarts (gryffindor, hells yea) to training, and then straight to work the first moment they let him.

he’s been hard at work ever since, both in the ministry and as an agent of the order

well, lately he has not been hard at work, and it is a real problem for him.

the worse problem: he can’t even tell the truth about why he had to have his knee replaced, because it wasn’t during a work fuck up – sturgis doesn’t make those, he prides himself on being an exemplary auror  who does everything perfectly by the book (to the point of it being extremely annoying) and he’s actually insulted people bought the story.

supposedly, sturgis didn’t “follow protocol” and wait for his back up to arrive, and, because he wasn’t “following protocol” didn’t do his checks properly, and therefore missed an entire human being behind a door, who got the jump on him and obliterated his knee cap, leaving sturgis down, and the two free to escape

really, it was a mission for the order, and things got hairy. someone was lucky enough to land a slop shot, and sturgis was unlucky enough to be in its’ path.

but no

he’s an idiot

and trapped at his desk

but not forever, just for 4 more weeks

and then it’s right back to what he does best, because sturgis doesn’t know how to quit, and he doesn’t know when enough is enough.

he will always come back for more, and he’s always going to stand up for the little guy.

it’s very important to sturgis that people so what’s right. he knows it isn’t always easy, but it’s always the easier choice.the problem is (not for sturgis, for everyone else) he doesn’t offer people a lot of slack, usually, on what is and isn’t okay.

he doesn’t skirt steps, or protocol; he doesn’t skip hard conversations; he always pulls his weight, and he doesn’t believe, at all, that death is an acceptable form of justice.

he understands that sometimes, it’s necessary, but wherever possible, he truly believes that if you don’t have to live through it, you’re just getting off, whether you actually care or learn anything from your time in prison or not.

he’s fighting a war for peace, he’s fighting for the little guy, always. he doesn’t want to kill for vengeance.

but he’s also an idiot

and really friendly goofy most of the time

unless your name is Judith, because god damn, he hates your guts judas judy please go tf back to hell or wherever you came from.

he’s not actually that grouchy, that’s just his face

[mrsleopoldfitz]

Random Chicago question for ya: What are your top three restaurant recommendations?

Oh, Nonny. Strap in. You’re in for a ride. 

I saw your question this morning and knew I’d have to sit down and really think about it. I thought I’d give you maybe five places I loved because I knew I couldn’t hold myself to just three. Well, you’re getting 18 recommendations and four places I suggest you skip. 

A word of warning: I’m a North Sider who lived on the near West Side for years, so most of these places are located in those areas. There are a ton of great places on the South Side (seriously check out Hyde Park - it’s a mecca of great food and culture) that I like, but I haven’t been to often enough to call my favorites. They’re absolutely worth exploring though. Start with Jolly Pumpkin and branch out from Harper Court. 

So I guess that means you’re getting 19 recommendations and four skips. Please feel free to reach out and ask me if you have any more questions.

Personal Favorites:

Cafe Iberico - Super authentic Spanish tapas at a great price. There are lots of good tapas places in Chicago, but this is the best. 

Folklore - Small Argentine place with great cocktails near my old neighborhood. 

West Town Bakery & Diner - This was my favorite brunch place in our old neighborhood. Had to get up early to make sure we got seats, but damn was it worth it. 

Bar Eats:

Fatpour Tap Works - Another burger joint that happens to make awesome salads and has an insane selection of beers on tap. 

Cleos Bar and Grill - Great place to watch soccer and get a personal pizza at all hours. Definitely a neighborhood kind of place. The Bloody Mary here is trouble. Sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a bad way, but there’ always a good story attached. 

Owen & Engine - Best burger in Chicago in an English-style pub. I’m not even kidding. And the rest of the food is great, too. Added bonus? They’re right down the street from Maplewood Brewing.

Brewery Restaurants:

Old Irving Brewing - Hands down some of the best burgers and beers on the northwest side of the city. If I ever leave Chicago, this place will be a must-visit for me. I spend way more money here than I should. 

Lagunitas -  Yes, I know they’re a California brewery, but they’ve done so much for Douglas Park, they’re honorary Chicagoans. The facility is huge and a lot of fun to just look at (plus they get bonus points for a trippy Willy Wonka theme right as you walk in), and the food is good. 

District Brew Yards - Four breweries that allow you to pour your own beer and delicious, delicious Lillie’s Q’s BBQ. It’s a win-win. 

Holes-in-the-Wall:

La Pasadita - My personal favorite taqueria, but there a lot of them in Chicago. The fact that it’s right off the Division Blue Line is just an added bonus. 

Mario’s Italian Lemonade - Best. Italian. Ice. In. The. City. Don’t try me on this, just go yourself if you get a chance over the summer. 

Original Maxwell Street Polish (3801 W. Harrison) - The smell of sauteed onions and kielbasa will tell you that you’re in the right place. Be prepared to sit on the curb or the hood of your car though. You walk up to this joint, order at the window, then chill on the street with the rest of your new best friends as you finish your meal. 

Bars:

Queen Mary Tavern - Best cocktails, hands down. Everyone talks about Violet Hour since it’s right under the Damen Blue Line, but this place is a better find. There are some mainstays (the Navy Strength Old Fashioned is godly), but they rotate the menu out with the seasons. Add in Tuesday movie nights with free popcorn and movie-themed cocktails, and you have my heart. 

Innertown Pub - This is a typical Chicago bar in what was once clearly someone’s living room. It’s cash only and definitely a local find that’s worth a stop. 

Matchbox - Teeny tiny bar that looks totally unassuming but is a brilliant find. Best pisco sour I’ve ever had in the city. 

Typical Chicago:

Johnnie’s Beef - Technically not Chicago (it’s in Elmwood Park), but definitely the best Italian beef in the area. Even Alton Brown said so. (Get it dipped if you’re not a coward.)

Fatso’s Last Stand - Greasy, terrible-yet-delicious late-night food and some of the best fried shrimp you could ask for. It’s pretty much everything you want in a Chicago red hot (hot dog) stand without the tamales. (Yeah, our red hot stands sell tamales. It’s a Chicago quirk I wouldn’t give up for the world.)

Tortorice’s Pizza - In my opinion, the best non-chain deep dish (and tavern-style!) you could ask for. I love Lou Malnati’s, but this place is better. 

Skip:

These places are good in their own right but are definitely overhyped. If you want to stop by, go for it, but there are better, less crowded places out there. 

Pequod’s - The pizza is good, but the caramlized crust is overblown and not worth the wait. Other places do the same thing for a more reasonable price and wait time. 

Weiner’s Circle - It’s fun to go to late at night, but a Chicago style hot dog is a Chicago style hot dog no matter where you go. Skip the line and price hike by going further away from Wrigleyville. I’d suggest Jimmy’s Red Hots on Grand. 

Al’s Beef - Their gravy is terrible (no flavor) and they’re assholes. Like, super racist POSes at the original location. If you’re going to the one on Taylor Street, skip them and go get yourself an Italian ice across the street at Mario’s instead. You’ll thank me. 

Kuma’s Corner - Years ago everyone lost their collective shit over Kuma’s Corner and their burgers. Honestly… They’re meh. I feel like the crazy toppings are covering up for sub-par burgers. They’re okay, but go to Owen & Engine, Old Irving Brewing, or Fatpour if you want a great burger with fewer hoops to jump through.