#Engie's conversing

[the-blu-engineer]

Are you in the market for a husband?

Ah well, I'd say I'm good on that front. I got my hands full with Medic and Heavy.

[etcseacow]

I realized I haven't seen many interactions between feral Sniper and Engie! How would they get along?

Engie is good at getting Sniper to talk. He just got that friendly vibe, ya know?So Engie is the one Sniper spills the ‘raised by dingoes’ lore to first. Engie also tries doing some Dingo research and compares notes with Sniper.

[mail-me-a-snail]

it kinda makes sense that heavy likes max sam & max more than he does scout

[automatonknight]

id: a digital drawing of a blue engineer and walenty-an original character. walenty is pale, has long, black hair with horns, a tail and claws. he's wearing square glasses, fingerless gloves, a green, floral shirt over a black tank top and black shorts and shoes. kit is holding a fishing rod in kits right hand. engineer is wearing his hardhat and goggles, a blue shirt, dark blue overalls and brown boots. he also has a fishing rod swung over his shoulder. he and walenty are walking next to eachother, with walenty on the left and engie on the right. the background shows a pine forest. end id

[wisteriaiswriting]

S/O Who Flinches Often

Words: 455

Request: Omg hiiiiii!!! I’m in love with your blog at the moment and was wondering if I could send in a request for tf2? Where m!reader (is that how you do it?) just flinch’s a lot a lot, say when you start a conversation, when you touch their shoulder ect and it’s due to a bad experience with maybe a ex or their parents with different mercs (?) like for spy it’s ex and for sniper it’s parents? (If it’s okay to ask I was wondering if the characters could be medic, engi, spy and sniper? Of course if that’s too many then sorry) make sure to drink water enough and have a good day/evening/night byeeeeeeee!!!! Requested by: @vxnom100

This can be read as gender neutral as I couldn't really fit the male part into it, although Spy uses 'beautiful' once

This man was kinda baffled when you first flinched, he had just brushed his hand across your back while walking past, he watched and felt you flinch.

Tries to brush it off as “You have such sensitive reflexes! No wonder I never need to heal you.” Though this causes him to watch you even closer now.

Is so cautious when approaching you now, as if you’d go running off when you see him. It’s weird, but also somehow respectful? In his own way…

But eventually he’ll corner you in the infirmary, making sure you know that he knows, how much he has been watching you. And that you can come to him for almost anything, once again keeping a careful eye on you.

Look, he wasn’t the kind of man to go around startling people, he didn���t even like it. So when you flinched as he lightly tapped your shoulder, he froze.

Apologizes to you every time it happens, making sure you realise it wasn’t on purpose. “Sorry there darl.” “Didn’t mean to scare ya’ there.”

He is a smart man, we know this. So quickly he started changing his tactics when it came to approaching you. Calls your name, walks, talks and even puts things down louder than normal.

Soon enough it’s very clear when it’s him coming up behind you, he makes sure of it.

He only meant to get your attention for something, opting to reach out while saying your name. Almost offended when you jerked away, not that you would notice.

“Ah… I’m sorry, beau. J'aurais dû le voir...” Being in his job for as long as he has, he understands and expects people to flinch, but when you do? It silently breaks his heart, he never expected it from you.

Does his best to comfort and assure you, this comes in words and actions.

Being noticed isn’t his strong suit and he’d rather not, but for you he calls out your name, tapping the walls and doors.

He was never the touchy type of man, but the first time you flinched when he simply said your name, it was like a punch to the gut.

Anyone could notice the shift in his voice, suddenly becoming slightly softer but loud enough for you to hear him.

Really treats you like a skittish animal, no more sudden movements, no raised voices. If you ever apologise he tells you that it isn’t your fault, “It aint your fault love, you deserved much better.”

Never pushes you to talk or anything, but he always leaves the option open to you. Leaving cups of coffee or anything else you drink, a small nod of acknowledgment when you meet his eyes. Nothing that pushes your limits.

[prettyboypistol]

how do you think would mercs react to reader calling them pet names in his native language that is not english obviously 👀 might be sfw or nsfw, whatever you like more ❤️

TF2 Mercs Reacting To Native Language Pet Names!

Scout

Gets like, REALLY flustered initially. A "Uh, what did you call me?" then "O-oh. Nice! Nice!... Haha okaaaaay! Great!"

Man starts mimicking you and your accent subconsciously (ADHD echoing go brrr) and likes stimming by rolling his rs and doing the special sounds your language does that are different from English.

Soldier

"YOU MAGGOTS HEAR THAT! CUPCAKE HERE THINKS I'M A COWZONE!" "I SAID CORASON!" "MEDIC! HE'S HALLUCINATING! HE THINKS I'M FOOD!"

After you explain it, he gets all giddy and lovey dovey on you, he's got a thing for you talking in your first language.

Pyro

Deadass? I headcanon Pyro to be a polygot. They know what you're saying regardless of what language you speak.

When they hear the petname you shout as good luck, they turn around and make a heart with their fingers and shout something back. It sounded vaguely like your language..?

Demoman

Will hit you with a scottish one right back, it becomes a war of the pet names until you both end up cuddled tightly in each other's arms and on the brink of sleep as you murmur out little sweet nothings.

Has no idea what you're saying but can understand it's affectionate because of the context.

Engie

"What's that, darling? Didn't quite catch that." You say it in English. "Oh! Well ain't you sweet! C'mere hun."

Not as flusterable on the outside, but internally freaking the fuck out because that was SO CUTE!!!

Heavy

Maaaaan. RIP you. This dude's barely got a grasp on English, that could be your only language and this would still work.

If you explain it to him, then he gets all smiley with you and kisses your cheek.

Medic

"Ah, danke liebe." "No problem, cher." "Oh! You speak another language? Amazing! I know that one- wait, do I? Let's see... German, Latin, English..."

Finds it absolutely adorable. If he doesn't know the language he asks you to teach him so you two can gossip together behind people's backs.

Spy

THE RESIDENT POLYGOT. LIKE, HEADCANONED TO BE HIRED ON TO BRIDGE THE LANGUAGE BARRIER LEVELS OF LANGUAGE KNOWLEDGE.

Imma be real it doesn't even register that you spoke in something other than English, but he instinctually switched to your language mid conversation more out of habit than anything.

Sniper

"Awe, using that first-language charm on me, eh? Well that's not gonna let you use me rifle. Sorry chickadee."

Sees it as more of a teasing to try (and failing) to fluster him or get what you want.

[scozthewoz]

the mercs drunk

what are these guys like after cracking open a cold one with the boys? well i'll tell ya. yes my words are gospel i was there

scout ▪︎ severely emotional. more angry than anything, one of those drunks that overreacts to every little slight and wants to start fights. reckless and belligerent, the worst type. also very likely to break down crying. he pretends everything rolls off his back, but in reality he's very insecure and he bottles those feelings up, and when he drinks it all pours out into a meltdown. alcohol does the opposite of giving him confidence, it makes him a nervous wreck. it also makes him violently sick. hunched over the toilet swearing he'll never do it again and then does the exact same thing the next night.

soldier ▪︎ when he's absolutely hammered he'll be cranked up to like a 13 when he's usually a 10. wild animal. and he can pound alcohol like there's no tomorrow. this man has an iron stomach and could probably endure a lethal dose of horse tranquilizer. while he isn't much different than usual, his drunken antics usually involve him doing some life threatening shit with demo like playing catch with explosives or jumping off roofs. he has a much higher volition for causing chaos and destruction. don't let this raccoon man near the liquor.

pyro ▪︎ doesn't drink. doesn't need to, doesn't want to, makes his stomach hurt and makes him anxious. they tried it once and it took pyroland away. everything felt overwhelmingly real and it scared the shit out of them. they don't understand why the others like it. but she does like hanging out with the others when they're drinking, as they're overall much more likely to enage with her and she likes being part of the fun !

demoman ▪︎ we're more familiar with this guy drunk than sober! unintelligible, mostly catatonic, with bursts of firey rage and complete reckless abandon. he does not know what moderation is. when he gets his hands on his precious scrumpy he goes all in until he can't form a coherent thought. i personally think this is a coping mechanism. demo's a big worrier and a chronic overthinker with a bleeding heart and a multitude of traumas. drinking quiets his brain, numbs him, and is the only thing he can turn to to be able to live with himself.

heavy ▪︎ this guy takes 2 entire bottles of vodka to even start getting drunk. he can clear out a liquor store and still keep a conversation. he only indulges on special occasions, really. it takes all the sterness out of him and replaces reserved grunts with hearty belly laughs. he gets loud and boisterous, talking much more than he ever does, overall acting more similar to how he does on the battlefield. most comfortable drinking with medic.

engineer ▪︎ he's almost always casually sipping a beer, but that's the extent of his consumption. he doesn't like getting hammered. he'll only get tipsy at most, that is if he isn't a self appointed designated driver or babysitter. he finds he operates the best slightly buzzed and rarely deviates from that level. he has a bit of a hair trigger temper and gets easily frustrated, so it mellows him enough to not crash out about shit while still keeping him perfectly functional.

medic ▪︎ he isn't a man that gets drunk often as he doesn't like how it impedes his judgement and motor skills, but he indulges on special occasions. he loosens up a ton. all of his tenseness & neurosis & particularity melts off and he has an absoluste blast. telling crazy stories, being loud, laughing his ass off at just about everything, socializing and engaging with the others more than he ever would normally. everyone loves drunk medic .. as long as they're cool with him enthusiastically detailing human vivisections.

sniper ▪︎ he's also not super big on getting drunk. like engie, when he does drink, he just gets a little tipsy at most. when he gets roped into social occasions he'll drink at first just enough to make it bearable, then end up getting a little crazy with it. he warms up to the others much smoother and is way more easygoing than normal, telling stories and sharing things about himself, bantering, about the most open you'll see him. alcohol makes him super sleepy though. you'll only get about a half hour of social sniper before he's slumped over snoring in a chair.

spy ▪︎ you'll see him sipping on burbon or wine frequently, but you'll never catch this guy drunk. he'd say he finds it gross debauchery and distasteful and he refuses to involve himself with team antics involving excessive drinking. further than surface level disgust, as someone who always feels the need to be sharp and on high alert, he hates being impaired. not being in complete control of himself, and especially people seeing him like that, is his nightmare. he only sometimes gets buzzed enough to mellow him out in the safety of his smoking room.

[multiheadcanons]

EVERYONE LOVES(?) PYRO!

scout: it took… a very long time for scout to get even remotely comfortable being around pyro. and they really started clicking over cartoons. scout thought he was the only one awake on an off day, and when he made it to the tv, pyro was already there with the channel pulled up. and scout almost decided to leave, but something in him told him to stay. as they watched cartoons together, usually in silence, scout and pyro slowly became good friends with each other. the conversations aren’t deep, but they are generally two people who can be found around each other, or at least know the other’s current or most recent location off the top of their heads. scout will even come to the defense of pyro, if people are getting on their case for something. from this, though its hesitant, scout would definitely call pyro a friend.

soldier: soldier doesn’t really… care about pyro. not in the sense that he hates them or anything, but soldier is one of the few mercenaries who isn’t scared of pyro, and doesn’t let pyro’s purposeful or accidentally intimidating presence affect him. it’s because of soldier’s general apathy towards pyro that makes them very effective battle partners. soldier barks orders, pyro follows. and pyro doesn’t question soldier! pyro doesn’t question soldier unless they think it’s certain death! pyro is one of the only mercs who actually does respect soldier, and holds his opinion and rank in high regards. they don’t speak to each other often off the field. but on the field, they are tight knit and aggressive. and to soldier and pyro, that’s all that really matters.

demo: demo doesn’t have any real issues with pyro, and that’s all he’s really looking for when it comes to he and pyro’s relationship. pyro makes good close range backup on the field when demo is focusing on doing damage from a distance, and pyro is generally quite nice outside of battle, when he can understand what they’re trying to tell him! demo uses pyro to keep loose tabs on the doctor, and lives vicariously through the antics pyro tells him of. demo appreciates pyro’s unconventional means of moral support for the team, and pyros general affability makes it easy for them to click, they just don’t interact often.

heavy: heavy actually quite enjoys pyro, in all of their moods and forms and variants! and he’ll admit, pyro can get unsettling. pyro is unsettling. but odd and distinctly concerning personalities have never stopped heavy before. they interact often, if only quick check ins with each other throughout the day. heavy does take pyro into consideration more than other teammates. it’s a slow process, but he’s getting better at understanding what pyro needs and what certain actions mean. it’s made heavy a de facto handler of the explosive personalities of the team. but the animals he’s handling, for lack of better term, back his authority up without question. the more psychological threats heavy can handle, the more unintended influence he (and his little posse) has to exert. and sometimes, the stuffed animals pyro gifts him are cute. he’s unashamed to admit it.

engineer: engie loves pyro! that’s his friend, his bud, his homie, his closest confidant on the team, his brother/sister from another mother/mister, pyro is all of that and a bag of chips as far as engineer is concerned, and engineer will confront anyone who thinks otherwise. engineer feels a deep sense of responsibility over pyro. he’s not sure why pyro attached to him as hard as they did, but he uses that to keep pyro as close to a moral light grey as he can. it’s not a difficult task. engineer is the only member on either team who can tell the difference between the red and blu pyro. he’d say his pyro is “shyer”. still just as sweet as they want to be, just a little introverted with it all. they’re good buds, and can usually be found within close proximity of each other during off times. usually pyro’s first call when arrested.

medic: oh, the doctor adores that little freak. if pyro is an addict and the flame is their drug, the doctor is their enabler and their dealer. if engineer is an evil gay man, and pyro is the eviler and gayer person behind him, the doctor is the evilest and gayest one behind them both. they are almost horrible for each other. with both of them, it’s a certified bad day for anyone around them except heavy and engineer. they are utterly embarrassing to be around, they are loud, they are crass, they are criminal— literally, and they have an absolute joyous time with each other. pyro is also the tangential point connecting the two geniuses together. engineer and medic don’t normally get along unless pyro is there. but with the three of them, it’s a guaranteed good, guaranteed enflamed time.

sniper: sniper does his best to tread lightly around pyro. not because pyro freaks him out, or he hates pyro or anything, but because with that flamethrower of theirs has a natural affinity for the australian’s ass. it’s like every time snipes passes pyro in a six feet radius they accidentally hit the trigger and give sniper’s heart a pop quiz as to how much stress it can take. other than that, snipes actually quite likes pyro! they’re quiet, they can be a little goofy, they’re willing to laugh at themselves, which is great because sometimes sniper has to laugh at pyro. that weirdo is a hoot and a holler sometimes, even when they don’t mean to be. occasionally sniper will join them in their arts and crafts time. neither one of their pieces look very good, but it’s a good time for both of them!

spy: spy is keenly aware that pyro does not like him. he is well aware that the ice he stands on with pyro is so thin he’s knee deep in water. spy is very acutely aware of the fact that the only reason why pyro even remotely tolerates him is because they think that spy holds more social power in the team’s environment than they do. and they use that placebo effect to their advantage when they get bold enough to play mind games with spy. but that’s so rare that pyro ever feels bold enough to challenge spy in that way. so pyro doesn’t know that spy has accepted that he could never go toe to toe with pyro socially and win, especially when it comes to winning over the team. they are two dogs side eyeing each other to see who lunges first. spy once asked the doctor to put a good word in for him with pyro, and the doctor told him no. pyro just doesn’t like him. if he was pyro, he probably wouldn’t either. that fucked with spy for a while.

[linkedspirit-fanartfunart]

[Image Description: 3 colored drawings of Linked Spirit's Links in modern clothing. 1st: Sky, Hero, and Mouse sit while Hope lays sprawled holding a cracked gold phone up. Sky wears a blue and white varsity style jacket and jeans. Hope wears an opened red flannel button up, with a green crop top or bra, and green pants with red leg warmers and converse. Hero looks down at Hope, wearing a green hoodie and brown pants, with a light blue scarf. Mouse leans over, wearing a green beanie and vest, with a brown shirt and jeans. 2nd: Smith, wearing a green sweater and black pants, holding a side satchel, walks behind Forest and Bean. Forest wears brown cargo shorts, a long jean vest, and a green shirt, looking forward at Engie and Wind. Bean looks down at them with a smile, wearing a brown hat, green flannel and brown pants. Engie looks back at Forest, using a cane to walk. He wears a light blue button up and loose red tie with dark blue pants. He has a red backpack. Wind has a blue hearing aid, and wears a gold loose button up with rolled sleeves over his lobster shirt. He wears dark blue sweats and is in an almost dance-like pose. 3rd: Ordon, in a brown jacket with a green shirt, follows Glider, who holds his slate-phone and points ahead. Ordon's hair is short, and he has a beard instead, and wears cowboy boots. Glider wears a green tunic-dress with two brown belts. Glider has a light blue cropped hoodie with the sword pattern, and wears brown hiking boots with skinny jeans. Rinku looks back over her shoulder at them, wearing a pink button up dress and a flower pattern at the edge. End ID]

Some Modern Vibes!

[hypernova-writes]

KinkTober Day 13

[Facesitting - Engineer] [Plus Sized! S/O]

“Darlin’ Go ahead and sit on down..I’m ready.”

“Darlin’, if i hafta tell ya to get your pretty lil ass up here again, you ain’t gon’ like it.”

You blushed as Engineer, or Dell as you knew him, laid on your shared bed, he was near the headboard, shirt off, beckoning for you to come up there by him.

You had made the mistake of mentioning that you wanted to try sitting on his face, but was against it because of your size. Engineer was not having ANY of it.

This issue how you ended up here, naked, nervous and not ready to get on your boyfriend’s face. You sigh as you slowly get up to hover over his face.

He waited until you were caught off guard, having a conversation with Scout and Sniper, he decided to haul you over his shoulders like you were a sack of potatoes.

You yelped as you yelled at him for taking you away from your conversation, but he just responded with a chuckle and carried you to your now shared bedroom.

“Dell…you sure I’m not gonna be too heavy?

“Too heavy? darl’ i carry all that heavy equipment..and you think I care ‘bout your weight?”

Engineer rolled his eyes playfully as his lips brushed against your inner thighs as you hovered over his face. His hands went up to slap your ass, loving the loud smack it made, he chuckles as you yelped.

“Go on sugar..climb up on your saddle and take a ride..” He says softly, looking up at you. You sigh and finally decide to grant his wish.

You lowered yourself down onto his eager and waiting mouth, only to jolt a bit when his tongue delved in to taste the goodness between your thighs.

You lean forward to lean against the headboard, your hands going to grip the wooden piece as you moaned out his name. When you tried to raise your hips up off of him, he kept you in place with his hands.

You leaned over, his name falling off your lips like it was a mantra at this point. You were riding his mouth at the same pace that he was fucking you with his tongue.

“D-dell!~” You cried out his name and you couldn’t help but begin to rock your hips, grinding down against his mouth.

He tightened his grip on your thick thighs, almost if he was trying to actually suffocate himself with them. You looked down at him and he lead his eyes closed, he looked like he was in bliss the way his tongue moved inside you.

You clenched around his tongue, you could feel that sweet hill, you were climbing it and preparing to tumble down if he kept up his actions. You rocked your hips more, and you ended up locking eyes with him.

Engineer’s eyes were full of lust, need and pure desire, and that was enough to send you hurdling over the edge. You cried out his name as you rode out your high, your legs shaking as he finally loosened his grip on you.

You flopped over onto the side of the bed, breathing heavily as Engineer sat up, licking his lips like he just had the sweetest treat of his life.

“See, I told ya doll, You ain’t too big for ol’ Engie..” He says and you playfully roll your eyes at him. “Mhm..I hear ya..” You mumble as you try to catch your breath. You then blush as you watch him rise up, only for him to get back between your legs.

“Good thing everyone is out the base…cause I’m ‘bout to make you scream my name as loud as you can suga’~”

Engineer chuckles as he spreads your legs open wider.

"Ya best to hold on..cause Engie ain't stoppin' till you forget where you end and where I start~"

-> AHHH I DID IT I FINALLY CAUGHT BACK UPPPP I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL PLANNED CAUSE IM ALMOST AT ANOTHER FOLLOWER MILESTONNEEEE

-> honestly this Lil community I've built up is amazing, I truly love you guys as you give me an escape from the hell that's my current situation. So thank you all so much for sticking around. <3

[laboloca]

[Recorded Conversation] - Mission 01 - Codename : C.U.E {Collect & Uncover Evidence}

>Scout : "Guys ? Eyo can someone hear me ?! Is this thin' workin' ?!"

>Engie : "What's goin' on there partner ?"

>Scout : "Why did ya send me to this freakin' place ?!"

>Engie : "Calm down and tell us what happened."

>Scout : "That place- there's people in here !"

>Engie : "Impossible Scout, the little information we've got is tellin' that RED left location a good while now."

>Scout : "Yeah well your info sucks ! I swear that I saw someone ! He was followin' me ! That moron tried. To. SHOOT me ! How do you explain that ?!"

>Engie : "He did...? Dammit- Are you in a safe spot ?"

>Scout : "I think. Managed to lose him. He's not gonna-"

>??? : [mid-distant echo] Yer not gonna get far, runt.

>Scout : "Shit- I'm goin' outside and never goin' back in there..!"

>Engie : "Come back quick son, be careful alright ?" [END OF RECORDING]

---

Investigations continued after BLU Scout's return, his testimony has carefully been written in the mission's report.

No documents or objects could have been collected due to a lack of time, because of the said unknown person in the area.

Luckily, Scout, equipped of a camera for the operation, captured a picture of the "presence" following him.

Picture is pinned to the file. More research will be done on both the location and who this person could be.

[END OF REPORT OF MISSION 01 - Condename C.U.E]

----------------------------------

Now that's a way to introduce a coming OC right ?

I thought it would be cool and more interactive to draw a little teaser about him while I completely finish his reference sheet ! I wanted to play a bit on the mood, the mystery feeling !

And if I can add a bit of horror here and there I'm the happiest person X'D

I know the drawing is dark, but of course it's on purpose ! Our BLU team here has this only clue, but so do you !

I hope you like the little mood setting so far and what you'll see on this proof Scout caught the best he could ! 👀

Maybe I'll do a little series of it and make sure YOU can make choices with this little lore too, as if you were in this story ! Who knows ?👀

[the-blu-engineer]

I want you.

Ah well, that's definitely not what I was expectin'. But thank you. I think? 'M glad ya find me attractive.

[etcseacow]

So... When the mercs found out about Sniper's upringing... How did that go? How'd they find out? (Apart from him biting Scout, of course.)

After Sniper bites Scout, Engie visits his camper and convinces Sniper to chat with him about why that happened. Sniper is fairly open with the information when prompted, he just words things weird because explanations about his dingo upbringing have rarely come up for him.

When people have ask him why he just fucking bit them, he tells them it’s just a problem he has. It usually causes frustration rather than curiosity, the latter which Engie supplies instead. Sniper responds well to that. Further details Engie has to pull over time because otherwise that is too much conversation in one sitting.

Engie explains to the others and despite Scout’s over the top (valid) reaction he continues to bug Sniper, possibly even more so with knowledge of the lore. There’s the sense of “that’s kinda weird and unique” bc how often does that situation come up right? But then the mercs remember who their co workers are and don’t bat an eye further. None of them are normal and it’s just adaption from there.

[mail-me-a-snail]

but you're the next best thing.

surprise surprise. more blu engie. head in my fucking hands. based on more conversations with @necro-hamster because we r both so ill about engie and the stark difference between his soldiers

crop and textless under the cut

[cluelessatthispoint]

Ougjsjs, I beg of you some platonic mercs(yandere if possible) with a Pyro reader who likes to bake. They just making cute bread while the mfs in the background fighting for a cupcake

Say no more my dear anon! As a baker, I would literally die of happiness if anyone was fighting over anything I made.

Platonic Yandere Mercs x Pyro Reader

~~~~~~~

The smell of vanilla extract and chocolate chips wafts through the air in the kitchen deliciously. Being one of the only people on your team who can use a stove properly, it's only fair that you would make yourself a sweet treat whenever possible. No treats for Scout, no matter how much he pleads and begs.

The recipe for sugar cookies lays crumpled on the counter surrounded by bowls and dirty spoons. The mixture of butter and eggs that you spent forever beating by hand has formed stiff peaks a while ago. The glittering white, sweet crystals mixed with the golden yolk of the eggs always was your favorite part of the recipe. Turning to the side to grab the flour, a pair of warm hands playfully pat your shoulders before a warm Texan accent fills your ears.

"Well now, what sorta goodies are ya makin today firecracker?"

Rolling your eyes at Engineer's nickname for you. The memory of him first using that nickname of "firecracker" for you was one that ticked you off. Scout being the little nuisance he is thought it was funny to light some firecrackers in your room first night you slept in the building.

"Just baking some sugar cookies Engie. If your lucky and you help me mix in the flour and the rest of the ingredients, then maybe you get yourself a cookie or two." You find yourself saying with a grin as you pass him a wooden spoon.

No stranger to being in the kitchen. The Texan smiles, a small fluttering in his chest at the sight of his favorite coworker so at ease.

"Well now darlin, sounds fair to me. Now scoot yourself on over and let me mix while you preheat the oven."

The twinkling of mirth in his baby blue eyes have never dulled, even in the heat of battle. Even now, in the kitchen the way his rumbling drawl stresses on some syllables and cuts off on others is so distinctly characteristic of a Texan accent.

"You know, the rest of the boys are gonna go mad if the don't get a taste of what your bakin."

"Hah! Well too bad, if they're not here helping me, then they won't get any." You retort with a cheeky grin ad the conversation ebbs and flows between you both as if you've known each other for years.

"Hmm sounds good to me." He say with a grin as he starts to mix, measure, and pour the different ingredients with laster focus. The look on his face that is normally reserved for his contraptions in his man-cave is now fully displayed as he scowls at the recipe.

"Dont stare too hard Engie, I don't want my recipe bursting into flames." Your comment earns a hearty chuckle from the older man. His crows feet growing more noticeable as the time goes on.

So lost in your haze of yummy smells and friendly banter, you don't notice the extra hands that help out with the dishes, or the large hands that gently scoop and measure more flour for the next batch. Before you know it, in goes one batch of sugar cookies into the oven, and out comes another batch ready to be cooled.

"Heya Firecracker! You made this recipe?" Scouts voice seems to raise above the gentle din, easily catching your attention.

Looking up from the mixing bowl in your arms, the sight of the team all around the kitchen island smiling and having a good time with each other makes you smile. Just like family you think. And believe it or not, they think of you the same way.

~~~~~

Tada! Let me know what yall think. I hope I wasn't too vague with my writing. I feel as if I should include more details in my writing sometimes. :)

[jevilowo]

Read a fic where out of all nine mercs, SCOUT was the one sent to a fancy gala for Reasons. Surely not, thought I. Would he not be the worst option? Then I got thinking. Anyways here's a ranking:

Worst to Best Ranking: Mercs at a Gala of Some Sort

Soldier

He can't hold down conversation besides ones that involve him screaming about war. He doesn't own any clothes other than what he wears to war. He will strip naked and fight several ceos over the course of the night. Genuine nightmare scenario.

Scout

Doesn't own fancy clothes. Only polite thing he knows how to do is stick out his pinky when drinking. Would flirt with every girl there and ignore everyone else. Would complain bitterly the whole night and pretty much ruin the experience for any poor bastard forced to go with him. Last resort option, as he's at least better than Solly.

Pyro

Also can't hold down a conversation due to the mumbling, buttttt they became a Ceo that one time. If they could get past the communication barrier they'd do just fine. They seem the type to even go to the effort to put on a bowtie over the suit. Only issue is they may set shit on fire but they're still a better option than Scout.

Sniper

Wouldn't, like, kill anyone or anything, and probably owns a suit. He'd be horrible company though. Only knows how to talk about blowing people's heads off and bush survival tactics. Also filled with hatred for rich posho cunts, and that surlyness would definitely show.

Demo

He'd wear a kilt but that's the only issue clothingwise. Would get blackout drunk halfway through the night but before that he'd be a great party guy: witty, charming, full of good stories and generally very likeable. Once he's proper drunk though he'd probably srat sobbing and that's not really the sort of thing one should get up to at a gala.

Medic

Definitely owns suits, capable of normal conversation, but prefers to talk about horrible experiments anyways. One of those guys who says he doesn't believe in small talk. Will fully go up to someone like Hi I'm Doctor Ludwig I Put A Whale Gallbladder In Someone This Morning. Autism amiright. Still, his charisma levels are off the charts so people are more likely to be willing to look past this clear insanity. He's hot.

Heavy

Literally the only issues with him are language barrier and generally looking quite threatening. Still, I think he'd do a pretty good job, especially in a room full of australians who aren't terrified of him, or in a room full of people who speak russian. Intellectuals!! Fuck yeah he's the phd man. Scholarly people would adore him, if it was one of Those galas.

Engie

Can be polite, can talk about normal things, even willing to take off goggles and helmet on occasion. Southern charm! However, he seems the type to not take shit. Will ruthlessly correct anyone who says anything slightly scientifically inaccurate. If he's insulted, he'll be annoyed about it. He threatened his goddamned employer once, just think of what he'd do to people that don't even hold authority over him.

Spy

No shit he's the best. He wears nothing but suits. It's literally his job to charm people. There's literally nothing else for me to say he's winning at being the best guy to send to a gala. Only thing that would trip him up is the presence of the rest of the team, or even just one of the team the that one was below Medic on the list. Rule of funny decrees this will inevitably happen somehow. If valve ever released a gala comic solly and scout would inexplicably be there just because they're the writers favourites and also Funny.

I had no business thinking about all this as much as I did!! It was a fucking nsfw oneshot collection i was reading, Scout only attended the gala because the plot required it. Boo.