#Emily and Jared should have WON!

[dank-hp--memes]

There are so many nasty things I could say about the people who won SAG awards over Jared and Emily... but I shall keep them to myself and rage in silent...

But i mean at least Allegra he and Allegra looked sexy af...

I mean... look at them!

[fanficimagery]

Be Somebody to Someone 3/4

You've lived your entire life in Forks, Washington without anyone paying too close attention to you. Then you befriend the new girl and suddenly you find yourself friends with the unexpected. And maybe even something more if a certain shapeshifter stops denying the Fates.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR

Words: 4.4K Author's Note: Mentions brief assault.

Hearing you're someone's soulmate- er, imprint- should have been world changing all on its own, but hearing you were someone's unwanted imprint completely overrode anything and everything you had been feeling. You weren't as close to Paul as you were to a couple of the others, so you aren't sure why his words hurt so much.

Fortunately for you, Jacob Black is a pretty decent friend and shows up later that night to explain the entire imprint situation to you. It makes you feel a little uncomfortable knowing that the pack has no say so in whoever they imprint on, but according to Jacob it isn't all that bad. Sam's imprint was Emily and, though they had a rocky start, they are perfectly happy. Jared was the only other shifter who had imprinted and, according to Jacob, Kim was very much in love and loved by Jared.

Hearing how Emily and Kim are perfectly doted on by Sam and Jared makes you yearn for someone of your own, but you refuse to let Jacob realize that. Especially after Paul's words keep replaying over and over in your head.

I didn't want you.

So instead of worrying about a relationship that was obviously never going to be, you vow to focus on your final year of school. And taking more edibles than you were comfortable with to ease the consistent ache in your chest.

Over the next few months, you divide your time between Forks and La Push.

You are hesitant to keep up the visits to the reservation, but remembering that the imprint bond would hurt Paul if you were to cut off all associations kept you visiting more frequently than you had intentionally planned. Emily was more than happy to have you come around, happy to see her friendship with you didn't suffer, but it was plain to see how your walls went up the moment any of the shifters made themselves known.

Ignoring the bond obviously put a strain on Paul and seeing it made you soften towards him. He might have broken your heart, but you weren't mean enough to hold a grudge and make his suffering worse, even if the newly shifted Leah suggested he deserved the cold shoulder. So whenever you caught his gaze, you offered him a timid smile to ease some of his worries. There were even times when you would be seated next to him at Emily's table and you'd let your knee rest against his thigh to make him relax.

When Prom eventually rolled around, initially you weren't going to go. Bella and her tiny demon of a best friend Alice nagged and nagged, and it wasn't until Rosalie showed you pictures of a dress that she liked for you did you eventually agree.

So the night of prom finds you furiously screeching to a stop in front of Emily's home, marching into her home in your two-piece burgundy prom dress- midriff exposed and the slit in your skirt riding a little too high on your thigh- with a sash and crown gripped in hand.

Emily and the pack stare at you, Paul's eyes bugging incredulously.

"YN.." Emily cautiously approaches. "What happened?"

"I'm gonna murder a teeny tiny vampire and I need some help."

She blinks before her lips twitch. "And why are you plotting murder?"

"Rigging the prom election so my name would be on the ballot is one thing, but rigging the entire thing so I had to walk on stage in front of everyone?! Inexcusable!" The entire kitchen is quiet until Jacob snorts and then everyone's laughing. You stomp your foot. "It's not funny."

"It kind of is," Embry muses.

"Are you seriously upset that you won prom queen?" Jacob asks.

"Yes! It was embarrassing." You frown. "I had to dance with some moron who didn't even know my name. He only knew me as stoner girl."

"Regardless of how the night went," Emily says, "you need to breathe and let me take a picture of you because that dress is gorgeous."

You stare incredulously at Emily before your shoulders sag and the giggles set in. You finally let the annoyance go and find the humor in the entire situation, and subject yourself to the inevitable photo session you're about to partake in.

Emily directs you outside so you have the forest as a backdrop, and then she takes your picture without the crown and sash. Afterwards, you put the sash and crown on for another picture, and then instruct Sam to take the next picture because you want one with Emily. The pack, with the exception of Leah, get in on the pictures as well and there's a brief lull in the chaotic atmosphere when Jared suggests you take a picture with Paul. Everyone had quieted, staring between you and Paul, and you slowly grinned.

"I'll take a picture with you if you wear the sash," you had told him. Paul seemed to relax at your olive branch, grinning back at you as he agreed.

Anytime you interacted with Paul, his words remained at the forefront of your mind. You did your best to remain cordial with him, much to everyone's relief, and even invited him to your graduation.

Well technically you invited Emily and Sam- giving them a few tickets while telling them to pass them out to whoever. You knew the entire pack couldn't go because of some redheaded vampire that'd been testing everyone's patience- intent on getting to Bella apparently- and they had to protect the res, but you would take what you could get since only your parents were going for you.

So on the day of graduation, you're pleasantly happy to see Emily, Sam and Paul sitting in the crowd- well away from Carlisle and Esme who had attended for Jasper, Alice, Edward and Bella. And when it's your turn to walk the stage when your name's called, you glare at the ones who cheered loudest for you- Sam, Paul, Jasper and Alice. You even glared at Edward and Bella for good measure when they laughed at your misfortune.

Then after taking the obligatory pictures with your parents and friends, Bella and Alice make sure you head over to the Cullen household for a grad party.

"Do you really have to go to the house full of leeches?" Paul grumbles.

You glance at him, appreciating the black button up and dark washed jeans he'd sported for the ceremony, and shrug. "Yep. I've survived this long surrounded by vampires, I'm not gonna deprive myself of this last party."

"Well congratulations again," Emily says before Paul can retort. "Have fun and we'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure. Thanks, Em!"

Paul huffs and stomps off, and you roll your eyes as you hug the imprinted duo in front of you before sending them off.

Later that night and two edibles deep, you dopily grin as Jessica and Angela try to carry on a whispered conversation about the house they had finally been invited to. The party Alice had planned was a hit with all the now ex-students and the food was surprisingly really good.

Happily filling a plastic cup with skittles from the candy table, you whine when Bella grasps onto your wrist and starts to drag you away. "Noooo. I wasn't done."

"You have enough skittles. I need help with the party crashers."

"Party crashers?" As Bella leads you towards one side of the room, your eyes light up at the sight of Jacob, Paul and Quil. "Guys! Hey, look. Alice got a candy table and there were so many skittles!"

The three Quileutes grin as you grab some skittles, tipping your head back and then dropping the candy into your mouth.

"What are you doing here?" Bella asks, tone suddenly annoyed.

Chewing, you frown at your friend. Jacob, however, grins. "You invited me, remember?"

"My fist to your face was me disinviting you."

You snort as the memory of Bella telling you she'd punched Jacob resurfaces. But before he can say anything else on the matter, Bella sees something from the corner of her eye. "Alice?"

You turn just as Edward and Jasper appear at Alice's side, and you follow after Bella with the Quileutes following you.

"What'd you see?" Bella asks.

Alice's eyes flutter as she frowns. "The decision has been made."

"What's going on?" Jacob asks, but goes ignored.

Bella seems to comprehend what she's not saying. "You're not going to Seattle?"

"No." The pixie vampire frowns. "They're coming here."

Edward's eyes suddenly widen and then he's grasping onto Bella's hand. "We need to talk. Everyone get to Carlisle's study. Now."

The Quileutes glance at you and you shrug. "He said everyone. Let's go."

When you step inside Carlisle's study, you're not surprised to see Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett already there.

"What's going on?" Carlisle asks.

"They'll be here in four days," Alice tells him.

"This could turn into a bloodbath." You've never seen Doctor Cullen look even the teensiest bit shaken, so to see him falter now makes you uneasy. "Who's behind it?"

"I didn't see anyone I recognized. Maybe one.."

"I know his face," Edward says, again reading his sister's mind. "He's local. Riley Biers."

"That kid who went missing like a year ago?" You ask.

Edward nods and the Quileutes glance between everyone, the conversation not making any sense to them. "He didn't start this though," Edward then says. "Whoever did this is staying out of the action."

"They must be playing with the blind spots in your vision," Jasper drawls.

"Either way," Carlisle says, "the army is coming and there aren't enough of us to protect the town."

"Hold up," Jacob speaks up, finally annoyed at being out of the loop. "What damn army?"

"Newborns. Our kind." Carlisle's words make dread fill you.

"What are they after?" You feel Paul and Quil close in on you, and you gulp as Jacob takes charge of asking the questions now.

"They were passing around Bella's scent," Alice says. "A red blouse."

"They're after Bella?" You shakily ask, glancing worriedly at your friend.

"What the hell does this mean?" Paul then asks.

"It means an ugly fight with lives lost," Carlisle answers.

Jacob glances at Paul and Quil before nodding at Carlisle. "Alright. We're in."

"No." Bella's outright refusal shocks you. "You'll get yourselves killed. No way."

"I wasn't asking for permission."

"Edward," she then tries to plead with her boyfriend.

"It means more protection for you," he says instead.

"Jacob, do you believe Sam will agree to an understanding?" Carlisle wonders.

He shrugs. "As long as we get to kill some vampires."

"Jasper?" Carlisle turns to his other son.

"They'll give us the numbers and the newborns won't know they even exist."

"That'll give us an edge," Emmett muses, grinning at the thought of a fight.

"We'll need to coordinate."

"Carlisle, they'll get hurt," Bella says.

"We'll all need some training. Fighting newborns requires knowledge that Jasper has." Then glancing at the shifters, Carlisle tells them, "You're welcome to join us."

Jacob nods as Paul and Quil grumble in agreement. "Just name the time and place."

"Jake." Bella's pleading expression sits wrong with you, and even Paul doesn't seem to appreciate her trying to keep them out of the fight. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

"Bella, this is what we do. You should be happy," he then tells her. "Look at us, working together. You're the one who wanted us to get along, remember?"

Bella glances between him and Edward, then turns towards you in hopes of getting you to make them see reason. "YN, say something! Surely you don't want Paul out there fighting."

You wince and Jacob steps directly in front of you, shielding you from her view when Paul starts to tremble in anger. Everything between you and Paul was still fragile and you didn't appreciate her throwing your imprint business out there like that.

"It's done. We're fighting," Jacob says. He glances over at Carlisle then. "You can call YN with the details. She'll relay it to us."

"We will. Thank you, Jacob."

You decide to leave with the boys, no longer interested in the party. And when you step outside the household, Paul immediately asks for your keys. "I'm driving."

And not wanting to argue, you hand them over. Jacob and Quil continue on the driveway to Jacob's father's truck, and then all too soon you're on the road to La Push.

The drive is uncomfortably quiet, the enclosed space of Jeep thick with tension.

"I know I've still been a bit of a dick," you snort at his words, "but I have a favor to ask."

"Shoot."

"When the newborns come, I want you on the res with Emily."

"What about my parents?"

"I'm sure the leeches will find a secluded spot for the fight and we'll do our damnedest to prevent any other leeches from making a run into town."

After a moment of thinking about it, you agree. "Okay. When we know the exact day of the fight, I'll pack an overnight bag for the night before."

He exhales with relief. "Thanks."

When Alice texts you with the time and place for the pack to meet with them, you alert Jacob of it who passes it on to Sam. And now that you've graduated, it's easier to spend all the time in the world down in La Push since you put off community college for a year or so.

Then when you know the exact day of the newborn fight, Emily prepares her guest room for you and you stay the night before the fight is to take place.

"Are you okay?" Emily asks when you're seated at her table.

Knee bouncing beneath the table, your hands wrap around a cup of hot chocolate. "Yeah. I just- I'm worried, you know?"

"I know." She smiles while taking a seat across from you. "But the pack was made for this. They're going to be okay."

"They better."

Emily tries to keep you occupied over the next couple of hours, but you're too anxious to really be of any help. And just when you feel like you can't wait any longer, Emily's house phone rings and she's quick to rush and answer it.

"Hello?" She pauses, listening. "Yeah. Okay. We'll be right there."

As she hangs up, your heart starts to beat double. "What happened?"

"Jacob was injured. We need to get to Billy's."

And just like that, your earlier fears come back tenfold.

You toss your keys to Emily, letting her drive your Jeep. She drives as fast as she can and makes it to the Black residence in no time. Then the two of you are jumping out of your vehicle and rushing towards the pack who are lingering outside, surrounding Billy Black.

Sam isn't outside, so Emily joins Sue Clearwater to console Billy. You step up to Paul's side, your arm brushing his and you inhale sharply when he automatically wraps his arm around the back of your shoulders to pull you into his side.

No one says a word, but then Jacob's agonizing scream pierces the air and you wince.

"It's been going on for a while," Paul murmurs. "Doc's rebreaking his bones."

Across from you, Leah huffs. "Why'd he have to butt in? I could've taken that tick."

"Oh give it a rest, Leah," Jared says.

A vehicle, fast approaching, catches everyone's attention, and it's Leah who scoffs when she notices it's Bella. Your friend jumps out of the truck and rushes towards the group, but the screen door creaking open catches everyone's attention. Everyone seems to hold their breath as Sam escorts Carlisle out.

"The worst is over," Carlisle tells Billy. "He'll be alright." Everyone seems to exhale with relief. "I gave him some morphine, but his body temperature will burn it off soon. I'll come back to set up a drip."

Billy, with tears in his eyes, nods at Carlisle. "Thank you."

Carlisle nods and then glances at Bella. "He's asking for you."

She nods and hurries into the house.

Once everyone can breathe a little easier, Paul pulls his arm back and immediately goes to Sam. You frown, resignation sinking in once more, and you look around just to see Leah shaking her head at you. She then turns a glare on Paul, puffing up, and you can practically hear the rant she has prepared for her pack brother. But after quickly shaking your head at her, expression pleading for her to not say anything, she rolls her eyes and walks off.

You gulp and then take a moment to settle your breathing before approaching Billy. "I'm glad Jacob's going to be okay."

"Thank you."

Then glancing up at Emily, you say, "I'm gonna head out. Do you want a ride back?"

"I can catch a ride with Sue."

"Okay." You glance at Paul, but he's staring at you as if you leaving means nothing. You were hoping to hear him mention that he wanted you to stay or at least show that he was anxious about you leaving, but.. nothing.

So with a heavy heart, you take your keys back from Emily and leave the reservation.

As the weeks pass on by with no incident, everyone finally starts to relax.

You're still not doing much, with the exception of keeping up with the house chores so your parents have no reason to threaten you with homelessness and visiting with Emily, that you have a bad feeling when Bella personally delivers her wedding invitation to your house. You're happy for your friend, of course, but you know one person who was not going to be. And sure enough, when the Blacks get a wedding invitation, Jacob runs away.

And since you and Paul are still in a weird place, you take no issue with Sam when he sends Paul and Quil to search for their packmate.

You eventually find yourself visiting with the house full of vampires, sitting in on the wedding planning to pass some time. But seeing everyone happily coupled up starts to get to you. Only Bella and Edward know the reason for your sudden melancholy, and thankfully they never mention anything about you and Paul.

Angela and Jessica, who were still sticking around Forks, decide to get you out and about one day in order to cheer you up. Jessica decides on a club in Seattle and, since there was no newborn army to worry about, you agree. However, vampires were apparently not the only threat you had to worry about.

Humans were capable of shitty behavior and unfortunately you ended up in one of the shittiest situations you ever found yourself in.

The club Jessica had chosen was for eighteen and up, so of course the creeps had come out to play. Everything was fine for a while, the three of you dancing and drinking soda. For a moment you forgot all about a certain shifter in La Push and actually had some fun. But then you excused yourself to the bathrooms and that's when your night took a turn for the worse.

Your phone had been on silent which is why you never noticed Alice calling because if you had, you would have been warned about the attack.

One moment you were walking down the hallway to rejoin your friends when you saw a drunk approaching. You attempted to avoid eye contact, but apparently that wasn't enough to dissuade him from chatting you up. You tried to be polite when telling him you weren't interested and had friends you needed to get back to, but he was persistent. He even grabbed your bicep to keep you in place in the darkened hallway, and when you opened your mouth to yell, his hand clamped over your mouth.

Panic overrode everything you felt, and you struggled to get out of the man's grasp. You felt a heavy weight hit your right cheekbone before hands grasped at your shoulders, snapping one of the straps to your shirt. You were able to shout then, but the music covered it up. And thankfully someone else decided to walk down the hall, shouting at your attacker and making him freeze. Seeing a moment, you pushed him backwards and kneed him in the groin.

Before the bouncers could be called, the guy took off. Jessica and Angela were worried and apologetic after you had explained what happened and had no problem calling it a night. They apologized over and over, but you assured them it wasn't their fault. And when they spoke of getting you home, you asked them to take you someplace else instead.

So that's how you wind up at Emily's, knocking on her door and waving your friends off when you can hear Emily shuffling around inside. It's a little later than normal so you understand your friend's hesitance to open up, but when she does, her eyes widen in surprise.

You're pretty sure your eyes are red rimmed and puffy, there's most likely a bruise forming on your cheek, and you have your arms crossed over your chest to keep your shirt from exposing you any further.

"YN? What happened?!" She pushes the screen door open to usher you inside, waving at your friends so they can leave.

You smile weakly at her. "Hey Em, do you think it's okay if I stay here tonight? I don't want to go home like this."

"Yes. Of course!" She wraps an arm around your shoulders when she notices you're shivering and takes you to the bathroom. "What happened?"

"We went- and I just- some guy got a little handsy," you stammer weakly. As the events replay in your mind, your eyes fill with tears.

"Oh honey." It dawns on Emily what happened, or what could have happened, and the softness of her voice makes you finally lose what little composure you had.

As you stand there in the bathroom, Emily holds you while you cry. You mumble about how stupid you were to have gone alone and she assures you that it's okay, and that you're not to blame. Men who feel entitled to a woman's body are the ones to blame. Then after a handful of minutes, she mentions that you should take a hot shower and get into bed. She has an outfit to spare and you're more than welcome to it.

None of the pack are around so you figure they're on patrol, something which you're grateful for. You take the offered pair of leggings and a loose long sleeve shirt of hers, and then take a much-needed hot shower.

Afterwards, you immediately climb into bed and curl up under the covers. Emily joins you moments later, curling up behind your back and holding your close. And if she sheds a few tears with you, neither of you mention it.

You're dozing when you hear a door bang open and you flinch awake. Emily immediately squeezes you, shushing you and trying to lull you back into a sense of safety. Then it isn't long until Sam's large frame is filling the opened doorway.

"Em?"

You curl into yourself even tighter at the sound of his voice and you can feel Emily sit up behind you. "There was an incident earlier. YN is going to stay here tonight."

"I-I can go," you mumble. "I didn't exactly give a head's up."

"It's fine," he assures you, but then frowns. "What incident?" Emily says nothing so you lift your head, showing Sam the side of your bruised face. Surprisingly, he chuckles. "You get into a fight or something?"

"Or something."

As you lay your head back down, Emily gets up. She walks towards Sam, pulling him towards the hallway and out of the room. You're pretty sure she's filling him in on what happened, and you're proven correct when Sam re-enters the room with an apologetic expression.

"YN, I'm so so-"

"It's fine, Sam. You didn't know," you say.

"Still." He gulps and you smile weakly at him. "Does Paul know?"

"No."

"I'm gonna have to tell him."

"You do whatever you feel is necessary, alpha Uley."

Sam disappears from the doorway and Emily rejoins you. She sits on the edge of the bed and moments later there's a sorrowful howl piercing the air.

"Looks like the cat's out of the bag," you mumble.

Emily does her best to soothe your worries, assuring you all is going to be fine. She stays with you as time continues to pass and it's been what feels like more than ten minutes before you hear someone walking down the hallway.

You tense and then Paul, fully clothed, is filling the doorway. Immediately you can tell he didn't take the news well and Emily offers you a smile of assurance before leaving the two of you alone.

Your eyes track him as he hesitantly steps into the room, pulling the ottoman from the end of the bed to the side of the bed. He sits down, facing away from you and rests his elbows on his knees as he hangs his head. "Who was he?"

"I don't know," you murmur. "He just cornered me in the hallway."

"Did you make a report?"

"No." You see him shake, but he manages to pull himself together. "He ran before the bouncers came and I didn't get a good description of him anyway."

Paul goes quiet and when you hear his breath hitch, you know he's crying. He turns his head, eyes red rimmed and full of tears. "I am so sorry."

"Why?" You frown. "It wasn't your fault this happened."

"But if I hadn't avoided the imprint-"

"Don't." You move to sit up against the headboard. "This has nothing to do with the bond. Even if you and I were in a good place, I'd have still gone out with my friends. This isn't on anyone but the creep who couldn't take a hint."

"I feel like it's my fault. It's my job to protect you."

"Yeah? Well it's my job to not make stupid decisions. So if you're gonna blame yourself, you might as well blame me too."

Paul continues to stare at you, expression solemn. "We need to do better. I need to do better," he then amends. You offer him a faint smile, shrugging. "Can we- can we just start over to where I'm not a complete asshole and we can attempt an actual friendship?"

"Are you capable of not being an asshole?"

A moment passes and he huffs a laugh. "Yes."

"Then okay." You let the silence hang for a bit before saying, "Hi. I'm YN."

To be continued..

[caranfindel]

Episode recap/review: Walker 1.14

I didn't expect to recap 1.14 and yet here I am, still avoiding my unfinished Summergen fic. I'm actually writing this in real time, as I watch the episode. So for once I'm not pretending I don't know what happens. I literally don't know.

We begin with Cordell and Grandpa clearing up the crime scene. How much do I love Cordell saying "Daddy?" A lot. And not in that way, you perverts. It just really brings out the Texan.

Liam is in bed, recuperating. He gets a call (note that he calls himself William professionally, which is news to me, and I like it for whatever reason) from someone asking for a comment, which he starts to angrily refuse before Gramma Walker grabs his phone and hangs up. Gramma Walker going all Mama Bear for Liam is also interesting, and unexpected. But Liam says "I can take care of myself" and she says "No, you can't. None of you boys can." And then looks sadly out the window, where Cordell and Grandpa are taking down the crime scene tape. I just have to think "none" and not "both" means she's thinking of poor dead Hoyt, who she obviously loved like a son, if not more so. (More evidence for the Hoyt is her lovechild file? Maybe.)

Geri shows up, wearing an unnecessary cowboy hat and Hoyt's old jacket. She's bearing Hoyt's last will and testament, written on a bar coaster! Oh, my heart. And in case you can't read it:

If I get shivved in the shower or some old horse kicks me upside the head. For real Liam stamp it and everything - I leave everything to Geri/"Geraldine Broussard"/angle [sic] face sweet lips etc. So that plot I bought over in Tanglewood is for her and whatever I got in my pockets or elsewhere. See ya in the next life.

Angle face!

I'm not sure this would stand up in court, since he didn't even sign his last name, although it is witnessed by William Walker. Anyway, it's a moot point, because the land Hoyt intended to give Geraldine "Angle Face" Broussard is transferring to new owners, effective tomorrow. Which makes no sense. The deal fell apart because he died, and yet it's so soon after his death that the police tape is still up. New owners wouldn't be in the picture that quickly. Reverting to previous owners, because it was owner-financed? Sure. But not new owners. (Whatever, Caranfindel. Move it along.) She asks Cordell to go with her to gather his personal belongings. And to bring the kids. Hmmm, let's see how Stella can mess this up. (Tanglewood is 71 miles from Austin. Of course I looked it up.)

But first, Cordell has to sign paperwork to begin his leave of absence. So he didn't actually intend to quit. I mean, we all knew he'd be back, but I kind of thought he was, at the time, intending to quit for good. Does Connie the HR person have a big old crush on him? There is hand touching and deep, serious gazing.

Touch him, Connie. Touch him for those of us who cannot.

Micki is sitting right outside the conference room where he signs his papers but still acts surprised that he's in the building. Did she not smell the rosemary mint shampoo as he walked by? He thanks her for the flowers and apologizes for not calling her back. And then cancels their lunch plans so he can go off with Geri and the kids.

Someone said this on Tumblr, and I think it bears repeating here. It's interesting comparing Cordell's grief, over his wife and now his best friend, to Sam's grief. Cordell is clearly deeply affected, and is also clearly moving on. Sam is just unhinged.

Elsewhere. The gang stops for lunch and reminisces about Hoyt dressed as Santa, wearing assless chaps. Well. That's memorable. (Also, I know people who did the whole leaving horse manure and pretending it's reindeer poop thing. Some people are just a lot more into Santa than I was.) Trevor (Travis? Whatever) called Stella. She's apparently avoiding him. Probably a good call, sis. Maybe the only one you've made in 14 episodes. (To be fair, I didn't watch the first four.)

Micki shares tacos with her boyfriend, whose name I can never remember, having been stood up by Cordell. She tells him Cordell seemed "off," which is great now, Micki. Why didn't you pay more attention to that feeling last week? The BF thinks Micki herself might be off, because she misses her partner. And she calls him family. Captain What's His Face comes to talk to Trey (that's his name, dammit) and asks if he knows a guy who goes to the same physical therapist's office. Friends, when I've done PT, I don't even know people who go to my therapist, let alone just go to someone in the same office. But maybe folks in Austin are just friendlier than they are round these parts. Oh, wait. The guy is missing, and was last seen in a heated discussion with Trey? What's up with that, Trey?

Tanglewood. Cordell asks the nice lady (realtor? owner?) about Hoyt's "personal affects," and she says "they are probably out grazing." Because Hoyt's personal effects are four horses and a llama. Which Geri owns now. "Where am I going to board four horses and a llama?" she asks. Cordell is oddly befuddled (and adorably, cause y'all know how I feel about befuddled Jared), as if he didn't live on a ranch. With horses. The family business, remember? The kids are entranced. I would be too. It's a damn cute llama. One of the mares actually nursed the llama, so they're family. (Watch out for falling anvils.)

Micki's house. Trey says the "heated discussion" was the missing guy showing him a judo move. Captain asks Trey to ride along and help him investigate, and poor partnerless Micki asks if she can come with.

Tanglewood. Apparently Hoyt's personal affects also included gear for the four horses, because everyone is saddled up. Geri doesn't seem like an experienced rider - she keeps her hand on the pommel of the saddle, which I always heard was a rube move. (At least she's not clutching the saddle horn. No shade. It's hard not to. It's a perfect handle and it's just right there.) Cordell, of course, rides perfectly, as he does everything perfectly.

Everything except his job. And raising his kids. But do I care about those things? Not so much.

Geri thinks the llama looks unwell. What is she, a llama expert? A veterinarian? And what are they doing on this trail ride anyway - taking the herd back to the Walker ranch? It's 71 miles away! It's an hour and a half driving! How will they get the truck? Why didn't Cordell just say "let's go back to the ranch and get Daddy's cattle trailer?" WHY.

(No one cares. No one but you thinks about these things.)

Stella is on her phone, but it turns out she's (allegedly) re-reading Hoyt's last text, not chatting with friends. And then she says she was "responsible for everything." Oh, wait. We're going there? Stella is finally going to face the music? Cordell says it's not her fault, but they're interrupted by the llama, who apparently is in distress. Cordell wants to leave him at a random homestead. Permanently? Like, "excuse me, ma'am, but can you take this llama?" Or just while they get the horses home? I dunno.

August doesn't like this, because the llama and the horses are family. Geri distracts him by claiming Hoyt wanted him to have the jacket she's wearing, although I find this rather dubious, because why did she wait so long to mention it? Why is she wearing it herself? It's a lucky jacket he won from a tarot card reader and card hustler named The Mystifying Mehar, who was "infamous for getting out of trouble because of that jacket." Cordell then asks Geri to go off with the kids while he hangs back and tries to ditch the llama. Oh no, Cordell, don't do that. He's family!

Back at the ranch, Grandpa chases off some more journalists. He also ignores Gramma's concern about his cancer.

Trail ride. We skipped the whole bit where Cordell found someone willing to take in a goddamn llama, caught up with his kids, and told them what he did. They're mad that he wouldn't even try, and then Stella impulsively rides off, almost falling into a revine.

Team Sassyboots 2.0 questions the missing guy's wife. Turns out he left a note. Doesn't sound like he's as missing as they thought. He said he would "fix everything," i.e., their upcoming foreclosure. They check his workshop and find evidence that he was a military contractor, and apparently this means he should have no money problems whatsoever, because they don't understand how money works. His gun safe is empty, so they figure he's on some kind of "black ops" job. And if it's going to be complete by Monday, I assume it's something local, and not a military operation.

Walker Ranch. Someone who is Liam's "political opponent" comes to take care of him? And he's bringing barbeque? Is it poisoned? Gramma says Liam can't have barbecue because he's on bedrest, as if one had anything to do with the other. And... Grandpa wants to go mushroom hunting with her? Is that what the kids call it these days?

Trail ride. Cordell found someone to keep the horses. Temporarily? I'm still confused. Stella and Geri talk about Hoyt, and Stella asks about her forgiving him. Thinking about some forgiveness toward your own bad boy, Stella? She says "the two of you were always kind of like the dream to me," which is odd considering they were off-and-on, while her parents were very much on, and definitely seem more like couple goals. But okay. Stella confesses again that she is responsible, and Geri says "you let love in, maybe; that's your worse crime." I wonder if Stella blames herself for the fake truck crash that started the whole domino effect, or if she even realizes that's what happened. Obviously Geri wouldn't. Hmmm, I wonder what August thinks about all this?

Walker Ranch. Whoever this political opponent is, he must be a family friend, because he gave a toast at Cordell and Emily's rehearsal dinner. "Hey, when did your brother have such long hair," he asks, looking at a picture of the happy couple. Liam is growing facial hair again. I like it. Opponent suggests the spicy barbecue will put hair on Liam's chest and Liam tosses it aside and says "no, dammit, after I spent all that time waxing?" And Liam might drop out of whatever race he's in. I don't really care about that part. Let's talk more about Liam's chest.

I love that they can use actual Padalecki family photos as Cordell and Emily photos. No bad Photoshop needed!

Team Sassyboots 2.0. I don't really care about this missing guy either. Skipping it. You know, I understand this is meant to be an ensemble show, and Jared Padalecki and his stupid pretty face and long legs are not going to be in every scene. But Micki working a case with her boss and her boyfriend just bothers me and I don't want to be a part of it.

Trail ride. They're bedding down in the barn for the night? What the fuck? Where are they? Why didn't they just drive home? I'm so confused! Cordell and Geri talk about Hoyt some more. Cordell makes an awkward comment about "us together" and then amends it to mean all of us together, as in you and me and the kids camping right now, not, like, you and me together together, and then does a little eyebrow thing like whoo, good job, talked your way out of that one. NO, CORDELL, YOU ARE NOT AS SMOOTH AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. Anyway. There's a lot of guilt about poor dead Hoyt. Cordell tells Geri her name is still on the Sidestep lease (lease? I thought they owned it?), as if being part owner of a bar is always going to be a good thing, with no liability at all. And they don't kiss, for which I am grateful. The horses are really acting up. I hope nothing's happening.

Cordell checks on the horses and apologizes to the mare for leaving the llama behind. He realizes he made the wrong choice. "You know what," he says. "Let's go fix this."

I adore him.

Walker Ranch. Grandpa and Gramma have been mushroom hunting and are now getting silly. Um, what kind of mushrooms did you two find? And then Grandpa says "tonight's about Hoyt," which I do not understand. "I saw the joy he gave you," Grandpa says. Yes, Grandpa, and do you not find that even a little bit fishy? And then he decides to build something.

Trail ride. Cordell went and retrieved his llama! He is precious. I love him so much. He has some pratfalls in the same ravine that almost caught Stella, and then his family shows up and rescues him. (Can I point out that his "a-ha-ha" laugh is the same one we heard when he opened his gift from Dean in "A Very Supernatural Christmas" and I'm not sure it appeared in any other episode?) August offers the Lucky Jacket to use as a llama harness to haul the little guy out of the ravine. Oh, and it turns out the llama is about to give birth.

And, while I'm skipping Team Sassyboots 2.0, it's hard to ignore that Micki is now in a UFC fight. That might have been an interesting story after all. Y'all can fill me in.

Walker Ranch. They're building a little stable. Because this big horse ranch doesn't have enough stables. Liam, who was bedridden to the point of not being able to eat barbeque yesterday, is now helping build. He gets a text from his former fiance, who wants to talk. And Grandpa has decided to treat his cancer. Happy endings all around!

Micki's house. She says she was passive-aggressive with Walker because she's afraid of losing him. I get it, sweetie. He's someone you don't want to lose.

Trail ride. August is carrying the newborn llama, wrapped in the Lucky Jacket. Geri wants to cut out before they get to the ranch. She's going to ride the bus home? Seriously? Isn't her car at the Walker Ranch? She and Cordell talk abou their unfinished business. Yeah, like the fact she was probably involved in your wife's murder? That unfinished business, Geraldine? Grandpa meets them before they get to the ranch and informs them he has a strict no-llama policy on the ranch. But luckily, he just built an alpaca stable. They’re alpacas, not llamas. So, Geri called him, but how did he know they were alpacas? Did she send pictures? I am so confused. Anyway. The new family goes into their new home. They name the baby alpaca Hoyt, of course.

Little Hoyt, guys, he's the sweetest thing.

Breakfast. Political Opponent gives Liam a contribution. Oh, I get it. They're running for the same office, and he thinks Liam will draw votes away from his other opponent. Shrewd. Stella calls Trevor and says she might need to leave the past behind. And you are the past, Trevor. Cordell sees a truck pull up and runs out to meet Micki. She apologizes for holding a grudge over him leaving. She tries to shake hands and he hugs her instead. She thinks they can just be friends now instead of partners, and he says they're not friends, they're family. And then she oohs and aahs over the alpacas, which she recognizes immediately as alpacas and not llamas, and also points out that little Hoyt is actually a girl. Oops. Awkward. Cordell is surprised she can just tell. "Most people can." Yeah, you are the worst rancher's son ever. Then Cordell sees the fence is carved with a memorial to Hoyt. Aw.

He is also the sweetest thing.

So. Less drama than last week. More warmth. A ridiculous B story that was as annoying as giving Cas his own plot. Will I still watch next week? Yeah, probably. I have questions. How did Grandpa know they were alpacas? Where is the baby daddy? Can Cordell and his rancher father really not tell the difference between a male and female alpaca? Why is Geri riding the bus home, when her car is at the Walker's? Why is she avoiding the Walker Ranch? Will August ever get his own plot again?

It's just a shame that this episode didn't have any shout-outs to Supernatural, like the last one did...

[since0202]

Chapter 15: Grief

“The Cullens. Are Vampires.” Grace said slowly repeating back what Jake had told her. Skepticism was thick in her voice but a nagging feeling started to take shape in the back of her mind. 

“Yes.” Jake said simply, not breaking eye contact with her. Grace stared at him for a solid minute and then with complete disbelief in her voice she said, 

“Jake-” 

“Grace, think about it.” He interjected. And she was. The Cullens. Edward. Bella’s boyfriend was a vampire? The thing they were trained to kill? It just didn’t seem likely. Bella would have told her right? But maybe not. Grace hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with the wolves or her being the Spirit Bird for almost two months. “Don’t you feel it?” he asked. 

Grace perked up at that and looked around her room. Things had felt off last night when she and Paul had pulled up to the house. Paul had said there was a vampire here, but she had thought he was referring to the redhead. 

Her eyes lit up with crashing realization--the dream, the feeling she had when she first met Edward that had set her destiny in motion. 

“Then that means she knows.” Grace said suddenly. Jake nodded, placing his hands in his lap and satisfied with his explanation. “And now she’s going to get him?” Jake sighed and let his gaze fall to the floor. 

“I guess.” Grace sensed no danger when Alice was here and she sensed no danger when she first met Edward, only in her dream did she feel ill at ease. She stood up suddenly lost in thought. Jake mirrored her, reaching his hands out unconsciously to her. She paced away from him, one hand on her hip, chewing her lip and thinking. 

“So the redhead is -” 

“Victoria,” Jake responded sickly. Grace raised an eyebrow. “Can you just come here, and listen?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“You know what I mean.” Jake shook his outstretched hands at her beckoning her over. She stood far apart from him, critical but she wasn’t sure why. His face communicated defeat, but she felt something deeper was plaguing him. She recognized that look that pulled at his face but she couldn’t convince herself that it was true. 

“I want to go talk to Sam. And the rest of the pack.” Grace moved decidedly to her dresser and pulled on some loose sweats over her sleep shorts and dragged an oversized hoodie over her torso. Jacob gave her a wanting look. 

“Is that Paul’s?” Grace was confused for a moment by his question and then looked down at the hoodie. It was a plain grey hoodie but it was ripped in certain places as if someone had tugged on it too much. 

“Is that important?” Grace shot back. She wasn’t sure why she was being so defensive. Maybe it was the fact that she had felt exceedingly confused by her friendship/relationship with Jake and then the fact that what Jake and Bella had was never explained also irked her. And now this new Jake, who was clearly thrown out to sea, adrift, looking for safe harbor, she wasn’t familiar with. And all of this uncertainty made her feel disconnected from him, which felt worse. 

“I guess not,” he said, hurt mutating into concealed anger coloring his voice. It was true. The hoodie was Paul’s, but it was one she was given in her early training days with Jared, Sam, and Paul, when she would overshoot and land in the water. On one particularly cold January day, Paul had given her his sweatshirt on the ride home, fearing she might freeze to death. Grace recalled the awkward moment of changing in his forerunner during the drive, looping her hands in the sweatshirt while trying to discreetly take the soaked t-shirt off underneath it. She remembered Paul’s face and how his eyes were drawn to the sound her wet t-shirt made as it plopped on the floor of the car. 

Now standing in front of Jake, she felt an odd sense of betrayal that shouldn’t be there. She shook her head to clear it. 

“Okay, then let’s go.” She turned and jogged down the steps, coming to a stop when she remembered Charlie in the other room. The note was still upstairs on her desk. She slowly walked into the living room where he was staring at the tv but not really watching it. She leaned down and hugged him gently to which he kindly returned. 

“I’m going to run to the rez with Jake real quick. Are you going to be okay?” 

“Always am.” He smiled sadly and she returned it, grief washing over her again. 

“I’ll bring back something from the diner, yeah?” Grace said and patted his shoulder. He nodded and turned back to the tv. 

She grabbed her sneakers and jogged down the steps pulling them on. Jake was lagging behind, dreading something that Grace couldn’t quite place. 

She did realize on the drive there that she was actively blocking him out. For this she was sorry but couldn’t seem to let him in. 

When she pulled up to Sam’s, she was relieved to see everyone there. She hopped from the truck and was met with the pack pouring out the front door. Along with-

“Leah?” Grace said when she spotted her. Leah did not look happy to be there. She looked to Sam for confirmation and he gave a short nod. Grace’s heart broke, understanding instantly what that meant. 

Paul was looking from Grace to Jacob, a small smirk on his face. 

“What are you smiling at?” Grace said. 

“Did you tell her?” Paul said, his eyes not leaving Grace but directing the question to Jacob. 

“Paul.” Sam said. 

“Yeah, he told me about the Cullens. How long have you all known?” Grace asked. The pack shifted uncomfortably and her eyes landed on Sam, “Another order to withhold information? Really?” 

“You were too close to the situation, I didn’t want to make it more complicated than it already was.” Sam stated plainly. Instead of reacting, Grace considered this. 

“Okay,” she said softly. Sam looked surprised. “Is there anything else I should know?” 

“The treaty states that they are not a threat, we don’t harm them unless they break the treaty by coming onto our land or biting a human. To the best of our knowledge, they are less dangerous than the average vampire. That’s everything.” Sam said. 

“Well, not everything.” Paul responded. 

“Don’t, Paul.” Sam said. Jake had his arms crossed and was glaring daggers at Paul. The other members had spread out, preparing for a fight, lounging on the porch or climbing into Grace’s truck bed to get a better vantage point. 

“What else then?” Grace said, prompting Paul. 

“Tell her,” Paul baited. Jacob was stone faced. 

“Tell me what?” Grace looked to Jacob. Only when she looked his way did he avert his gaze from Paul and his eyes softened. He opened his mouth as if to say something but stopped when Paul let out a huff that turned into a laugh. Jacob’s eyes went straight back to Paul, the anger returning. “Tell me WHAT?” Grace said louder this time. Paul and Jacob were in a standoff. And when Paul was satisfied that Jake wouldn’t say it first, he took the initiative. 

“He kissed her.” Paul said, looking back to Grace as if he won something. 

“Who?” Grace looked to Jake. 

“Bella.” Paul confirmed. 

“Paul, that’s enough.” Sam barked. 

Grace didn’t let her eyes leave Jake and she turned her body to stand directly in front of him. He glanced up over her head and back at Paul, clearly uncomfortable. 

“I didn’t kiss her.” Jake said evenly, disappointed even. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. You almost kissed her and then you told her you loved her.” Paul clarified--he took an automatic step toward Grace. This seemed to incense Jake who looked like he was about to lunge for him. Grace was speechless for a moment, still staring up at Jake with her mouth open, waiting for words to form. 

“Is that true?” she finally managed to say in a tone stronger than she realized. Jake hesitated for a moment, shaking out his right hand nervously and not meeting her gaze for a moment. Then he took a deep breath, looked her dead in the eye and said, 

“Yes.” 

The sound of the ‘yes’ rang out like a shot to Grace and she outwardly flinched. So that look on his face that Grace had spotted earlier this morning was accurate—heartbreak. She knew that feeling all too well and was sure that as Jake was looking at her now, he’d see that same look reflected back at him on her face. 

She had so many more questions she wanted to ask, but feared the answer to them, so instead, she remained silent, staring up at Jake who was desperately trying to communicate with her. Grace took a step back and stood next to Paul. She suddenly felt repelled by the one person she felt the closest connection to. 

Resolved to keep herself together, she swallowed hard, tears brimming in her eyes and turned to walk slowly up into Emily’s house. Some of the pack followed close behind her, leaving Jake, Paul, and Sam out in front. Grace had heard enough for one day. 

A few minutes later, Paul and Sam crossed the threshold to the door and Paul took his place next to Grace who was sitting up on the kitchen counter, eating some granola from Emily’s snack stash. Jake never came inside, in fact, Grace was pretty sure he took off shortly after Paul and Sam joined the others. Leah sat on a chair on the porch by the open front door, not wanting to come inside, Grace felt a similar feeling washing off of her that she herself felt. 

------

When Grace got home that afternoon with food in hand for her and Charlie, she could easily sense the wolf presence nearby but she chose to ignore it. 

She carefully opened the door and called out: “Charlie?” as she made her way toward the kitchen. She was met by him standing there holding the note that Bella had given Grace, staring at it. 

“I found this on your desk.” Charlie said, even toned but clearly upset. “It seems like it’s for me.” Grace swallowed hard and set the diner food down. All she could do was nod. “So she left again...to go find him?” Grace nodded again. “When was this?” 

“Last night.” Grace almost whispered. Charlie crumpled the letter and left it on the counter. 

“Let’s eat,” he said dejectedly. Grace stood quietly in place and then grabbed some food once Charlie had sat at the kitchen table. 

“Am I grounded?” Grace finally squeaked out pushing around her veggie lasagna. Charlie chewed thoughtfully for a moment. 

“Not yet. Why is there something you should be grounded for?” Charlie asked, an odd tone of nonchalance masking his obvious pain. Grace could definitely think of a list of reasons. “Harry’s funeral is tomorrow, I’m sure you’ll be needed to help out, so plan on that.” Grace gave a soft nod. 

----

The next morning, Grace woke up early to get ready. She braided her hair and tied purple and yellow ribbons into her hair that she had worn to her father’s funeral. She let her necklace Ti’Hal had adorned her with hang long and refitted her bracelet. Grace smoothed out the simple black dress she’d only worn one other time that fell just above her knees. 

She waited until the sun rose, sitting on the staircase and looking out her front door, waiting for Charlie. When he finally came down, he was surprised and helped her up off the stairs and to his cruiser. They drove in silence as Grace clutched her black jacket in her lap. She’d done this before, she could do this again. 

Everyone was gathered at the community center and planned to walk the short distance to a lightly wooded area where Harry was to be buried. Grace automatically scanned the crowd when they arrived looking for her pack, and unfortunately, one face in particular. Was she a glutton for pain? 

She saw most of the pack gathered toward the front, Sam was talking to some of the elders, and the rest were milling about conversing with those closest to them. Leah was next to her mother, arm around her, looking to hold onto composure for as long as she was able. Seth was folded into the pack’s group. She signaled to Charlie that she would be back when she made eye contact with Quil who gave her the nod and a wave. Everyone seemed to breathe a sigh of relief once she joined their gathering. Ti’Hal was nearby, eyeing her. 

When it was time to walk over, Paul and Sam rejoined their group. Paul took Grace’s hand in his and she couldn’t help but look him up and down. 

“You guys clean up nice.” she said off-hand. This resulted in a loose laugh from the group. She smiled at Paul who gave her a warm look and then reached out her other hand to Seth Clearwater who gladly took it. 

Seth looked so young, at just 14 he only came up to just above Grace’s shoulder. He dwarfed in comparison to the massive height of the pack. She appreciated regular-sized Seth, because once they started phasing, it triggered an uncontrollable growth spurt that defied normal height standards. Jake towered at nearly 6’5” and Paul was close behind him at 6’4”. Grace was going to be in a neck brace by 20 from constantly having to look up at them. 

They settled on a place in front, Seth sitting next to her and Paul draping an arm around her shoulder. Grace never let go of Seth’s hand which gradually became clamier as the service proceeded. She was doing an alright job of keeping it together until Ti’Hal stood up and sang a farewell song. Paul got up from his seat as well as Sam and some other members of the pack to help lower Harry into the ground as Ti’Hal sang. Once they hoisted his casket and started to lower it, everyone stood up. Leah appeared at Grace’s side, but she was too focused on watching Harry’s casket slowly disappear from view. 

As Ti’Hal reached a crescendo, Seth dropped Grace’s hand and wrapped both his arms around her torso, clutching her as he hid his face and began to cry in full force now. Grace would take the weight of this pain gladly. And then she felt a hand grab for hers—Leah. She was still staring straight ahead but held onto Grace’s free hand that wasn’t looped around Seth so tightly that she felt her pulse throb in her fingertips. 

She would take this pain too. Grace straightened up and felt the wash of grief run over her in the room. She opened herself to receiving every ounce of emotion and sadness in the room and let it crash in around her until she felt like she couldn’t breathe anymore. 

When the service ended and everyone began to depart toward the Clearwater home for the reception, Grace beelined it for the beach. She had to put the massive amount of grief that was burying her somewhere. As she weaved her way through the crowd and finally pushed to the edge, she ran directly into Jake. He was wearing a simple white button down shirt and grey slacks with a loosely fitted tie. 

The sight of him almost made her burst into a million pieces. He tried to catch her under the arms to stop her but she took off, recasting just out of sight and landing directly on the edge of La Push beach. She kicked off her flats and waded waist deep into the water, letting out a wail so loud she thought her eardrums would explode. The grief that she held for Seth, Leah, the entire tribe that they put into her to carry spilled into the ocean and was pulled out by the waves. She took gasping, shuddering breaths as the cold water pushed against her hips, and she let her hands drift just above the water’s surface. When she finally felt like the grief was drained from her, she calmly turned and trudged back to shore. 

Paul was waiting, his chest rose and fell with deep breaths he was taking as he watched Grace step out from the waves. She walked right up to him and threw her arms around his neck and held onto him tight. He responded in kind and looped his arms around her torso and pressed his hands against her back. She relished in his warmth and felt an overwhelming sense of relief at being held. 

She didn’t know how long they stood there holding onto one another with the waves lapping up under their feet, but she hadn’t felt like this in awhile. When he finally pulled back a little, he pressed his forehead to hers and she felt his warm breath on her face. 

“You okay?” he breathed, his fingers gently moving across her lower back, making her shiver. She nodded and looked up at him, just for a beat. Something in her face must have conveyed a look of want, and she did feel a rush of excitement when he looked at her that way. 

He dipped his head and pressed his lips to meet hers, and a splash of warmth spread from his lips to hers. His lips were soft and welcoming, such an opposite feeling to what he presented as a person. She knew this felt good and for a moment she pulled herself closer to him, which he readily interpreted as her want, but then just as quickly, something spiraled in her and she pulled back, taking a step away from him. The warmth evaporated and she felt cold again. 

“Grace, it’s okay.” Paul reassured her, his breathing was still quick and labored from the kiss and his eyes were on fire as they looked at every inch of her. She looked at him and knew that was true, it was okay, they’d done nothing wrong, but in her she knew something was missing. She didn’t have the energy to figure that out at this moment though. 

“I know,” she said but she kept her distance. “Let’s go back.” He looked at her for one more wanting moment and then nodded holding out his hand to hers. 

She took it and together they traversed up the beach, Paul scooped up her shoes and carried them with him. If the pack didn’t know already, they would know soon what had happened and for once, Grace didn’t care. 

They crested the hill and walked the rest of the way to the Clearwaters, easily getting absorbed into the crowd. Paul stayed close by as she was buoyed from elder to elder, family to family, to connect and share in their collective grief, but what Grace had done during the burial had seemed to lift the tribe up out of the overwhelming swell of sadness and alleviate some pain, at least for now. And for that she was grateful. 

When she reached Ti’Hal, the gentle woman placed her hands on either side of Grace’s face and brought her down to touch her forward to Grace’s. They both closed their eyes and silently communicated to one another to which Ti’Hal quietly said: “Destinies take time to unravel, and people who matter most always return to you in the end. Hold tight, little bird.” 

Grace smiled and mumbled a soft thanks before finally moving back to the pack. Sam was holding onto Emily and they both were giving her a worried look but she waved them off. 

She felt more sure than ever that she could handle this, whatever this was. But that didn’t help the ache she felt growing within her. 

[cullen-collective]

(teamjacobthot) fic prompt: it’s quil and embry’s turn to cook sunday dinner for the pack and they still don’t know what to make

Thanks for this @teamjacobthot! It was a fun one! <3

They were ready. Side by side in the borrowed car, they broke nearly every traffic law as they hurtled toward their destination. Their mission was of the utmost importance, and it required that they stay focused, alert, and above all, fast. The car skidded to a stop, tires squealing on the pavement, and Embry turned to Quil, hands shaking on the wheel. 

“Are you ready?” he asked, swallowing hard. 

Quil nodded, looking a little pale. “As I’ll ever be.” 

They thrust the doors open, and Embry got caught on the seatbelt as he tried to exit the vehicle, nearly falling out onto the asphalt, which caused Quil to burst out into hysterics. He hastily undid the buckle and stormed out of the car, flipping Quil the bird as he marched toward the Safeway. 

“It’s not going to be nearly as funny when the guys tear us limb from limb for coming home empty-handed,” he said when Quil caught up to him. The other boy’s leftover giggles went silent. Time to focus on the mission: dinner. 

The pack got together, rain, shine, or other, every Sunday night for dinner. Emily and Sam used to host every week, until Jared and Kim moved in together and wanted to do it occasionally. And then Paul had gotten his own place, and then Embry and Quil got their tiny apartment, and then Collin and his boyfriend, and Seth and Jacob shared a house with Leah, and everyone had scattered all over the rez. So they rotated, and tonight’s meal was up to Embry and Quil. 

Usually they were much more prepared for this, what with Quil being the culinary genius he was, and Embry limping along beside him with his high school level hospitality class. But Quil had spent all week in Arizona on Tribal Council business, and hadn’t prepared anything; and Embry pretty much relied on him to know how many calories and food groups and whatever else they all needed. Embry was mostly good at appetizers. 

They wandered through the grocery store, with Embry occasionally pointing to random ingredients and Quil waving him off. 

“No, we don’t have enough time for me to make lasagna,” he said, sighing deeply. 

Embry shrugged. “The frozen one only takes forty minutes.” 

Quil looked like he’d been slapped across the face with a white glove. “The fact that you could suggest that to me at all is rank, dude.” 

Embry held up his hands in surrender. “I’m just saying, if we needed more time, we should have come earlier.” 

“Yeah, well, you needed a swift kick in the ass and Mortal Kombat wasn’t going to play itself.” 

“But I won most rounds,” Embry pointed out.

“Irrelevant,” Quil said, still strolling through the aisles. 

They meandered around, growing more and more panicked as the time everyone was supposed to arrive loomed closer and closer, and the frozen lasagna started looking incredibly appealing. It came to a point where Embry was putting things in the cart and Quil was removing them. They got into a shouting match in the vegetable aisle, Embry insisting that no one wanted to eat a cauliflower pizza, and Quil gathering bunches of the stuff anyway. A store employee had to come and tell them to be quiet. 

“Dude, we have to find something. They’re coming in like, an hour.” 

“I know! You don’t think I know?”

“You’ve rejected any viable option and tried to feed a bunch of hungry wolves cauliflower as an entrée.” 

“I just haven’t seen the right thing. It’ll come to me.”

Embry seriously doubted that. 

Until they came upon the seafood counter. Quil walked up to it reverently. “Embry, Embry, Embry, come here. Do you see that?” 

He was pointing at a little sign on the glass. 

Crab Legs, 2 for 1! 

“Do you know what this means?” Quil asked, his voice filled with joy. 

Embry’s brows knitted. “Bad shellfish?” 

Quil punched him in the arm, which made Embry growl and tenderly run the sore spot. 

“It means we’re having a freaking boil, dude.” 

Half an hour, forty bucks, and several missed stop signs later, Quil unlocked the door to their apartment and immediately began bustling around the kitchen, demanding that Embry bring him things from the grocery bags and directing him to make crudite that people could dip in the sauce. Embry, to his credit, just got busy doing as he was asked, instead of calling Quil a crazy Gordon Ramsey wannabe, like he wanted to. 

There was oil, lemon, thyme, parsley, paprika, cumin, allspice, cayenne, salt, onion, garlic, and dismembered shellfish everywhere. It was an absolute nightmare in the cramped kitchen, as Embry scooted behind Quil to put the toast points (his own personal addition) in the oven to toast. The crudite was all cut and lightly brushed with olive oil, and he decided to start cleaning up the mess Quil was making as he cooked. 

There was a knock on the door as he threw away the last of the shrimp shells and veins. 

“Hey, man,” Seth said, not waiting for an invite in when Embry opened the door, opting instead to head straight for the living room. “It smells great in here.” 

Jake and Leah trailed in behind him, Jake bearing the traditional two-buck chuck, and Leah with a tequila bottle. Oh, so it was going to be one of those nights. 

“What’s cooking?” she asked, setting the bottle on the table and leaning onto the kitchen counter. 

“A cajun seafood boil with crab legs, scallops, shrimp, potatoes, sausage, and corn on the cob.” Quil didn’t even look up from where he was stirring as he spoke. He took a spoon and dipped it in the sauce, coating the back of it. He took a quick taste, and then started adjusting spices. 

Jacob’s eyes raised. “How does he always make the best stuff?” he asked.

Embry thought back to their panicked run through the store, the potential cauliflower disaster, and the heavily discounted crab legs. 

“Divine intervention.” 

[youralternantpersonality]

End My Dear Friend

Warning: n/a

A/n: Here’s the end of it. I had fun writing this. It was in my brain for the longest, but I just didn’t want to make more than 5 chapters for my stories. Anyway, let me know what you think!

Sam (19), Paul (16), and Quil (15) gave up their ability to shift when they would have respectively been around 25-27 since Emily, Rachel, and Clair would age. They have kids—Emily: 3, Rachel: 2, and Clair: pregnant (Not really mentioned, but just clarification/to give an idea).

Comment if you’d like to be tagged

Tag:  @pillowjj​ @summeerrr​

***

A year later

“Well, well, well. Look who we have here.” I turn around and smile.

“Vanity!” I run up to her and hug her. I was worried that she wouldn’t come. Having her here makes everything complete. We hear a knock on the door, and it’s Felix just to congratulate me. I give my thanks, and Vanity helps me finish up the final touches and helps me put my dress on.

It’s an Augusta Jones dress named Terri. It was something I saw and wanted ever since I was in 10th grade. The second I saw it, my heart skipped a beat, and I wanted to cry (I didn’t, I just wanted to). Vanity fluffed out the bottom of my dress and made sure it flattered me for the pictures they were about to take.

“You look so beautiful Y/n/n. If I was human, I would cry, love.” She tells me, wiping an invisible tear from her eyes. I laugh, and Alice comes in to make sure I am ready. If it wasn’t obvious, Alice volunteered/decided to be the wedding coordinator for our wedding. She rushes us to go downstairs. Because of my situation, I decided against having bridesmaids/brides-man. Instead, Jared volunteered to walk me down the aisle as a surprise.

I walk up to him and link my arm with his. My nerves start getting to me as the music changes to a soft violin musical playing.

“You ready, Blue?” I smile up at my brother of over 10 years and nod.

“More than you know, Magenta.” He squeezed my arm and proceeded to walk me down. Up ahead, I see Embry, standing there in all his glory. I made him wear a white suit to match my dress. I remember Alice threatened him if he got a single drop of even sweat on it, she will have him by the throat and shake him like a chicken.

Walking up to the man I love, I could see a tear lightly stream down his face as he tried to keep his composure. I told him before, if he doesn’t cry, I’m going to re-walk down this damn isle. He knew I was serious too. Emmett, who became our ordained minister due to a loss bet he and Embry had, patted his shoulder in support. I was scared at first, but the nerves vanished as soon as Emmett opened his mouth.

“You may be seated.” He started, “Hello. And welcome, to this beautiful wedding. A Call wedding—bringing two different beings to one. Two different species, if you will, to one. Before we dive into these shenanigans, I would like to remind everyone what happens when two worlds collide,” I can see Charlie putting his head in his hand and shaking it. Emmett proceeded for 5 minutes, making sexual innuendos but also giving blessings. Two things that should not be in the same sentence.

The reception was beautiful. The pack demolished every last bit of food there was. Emmett brought out poker cards and had Charlie, him, Jared, Embry, Paul, and Billy playing poker at my wedding. If I didn’t think that Embry and I could have more weddings in our lifetime together, and if he didn’t look like the most handsome when he was laughing, I would be pissed right now.

But Alice was.

Twenty years later

It had been twenty years since I had seen the Cullen’s. For every birthday Renesmee had, Embry, Charlie, and I would take a trip to visit them. Ren desperately wanted to have him in her life, and so, Bella and Edward introduced them to each other, so long as there was a gag order on Charlie. Not to ask any questions and just enjoy the moment.

I will say that it was a stressful time when Ren was born. Bella did survive, and as soon as she was clear, hell broke loose. The Volturi tried to kill us, but luckily Alice and Jasper had their own trick up their sleeves. If I’m honest, it was hard seeing Vanity on the other side. But when it was decided that the Cullen’s broke no law, they left. Before leaving, like the spontaneous and child-like we are, we ran to each other and hugged before leaving. I knew we’d see each other again, but it just might be a while before we do.

A few days ago, Carlisle informed me that they will be heading back for a visit. Ren wanted to have her official seventeenth birthday where she was born. Something about wanting to feel the nostalgia of it all. Here we are, Jake, Embry, Emmett, Jared, and Paul moving furniture around. Emily, Leah, Clair, Kim, Rachel, and I are fixing a buffet in the kitchen. Sam, Seth, and Orion (Leah’s imprint—who’s also a shifter) went out to get some supplies for her party. Alice and Esme are drawing up plans to renovate the house afterward. Rosalie and Jasper decided they wanted to be friendly and cordial…so she worked on her car in the garage away from everyone, and Jasper went hunting. At least they’re trying.

“OK! Bella said they should be arriving soon! And they’re bringing Ren’s friend Nadya…who’s fully human and doesn’t know shit about our world. So, let's try to be normal…Emmett.” Alice says, looking at the big guy in the middle of the room with a cheeky smile.

“What!? I am completely professional.” We all looked at him and rolled our eyes. Rosalie came back from the garage and stood next to Emmett.

“Well, look who graced us with her presence,” Paul says, sarcastically. Rachel waddles out of the kitchen and scolds him. “What!?” There was crying coming from upstairs, and Emily runs up to her desperate child. Sam, Seth, and Orion pull up with the supplies that Alice specifically wanted and allowed the pixie to do as she pleased while everyone just watched. By the time she was done, Bella, Ren, Edward, and Nadya—with Sue, Billy, and Charlie behind them—pulled up. We all hid and waited until they enter the living room.

“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY REN!!!” to say to her, and Nadya was shocked was an understatement. They screamed and held onto each other as if they were in a horror film…I mean, aren’t they, though? As Ren introduced and hugged/welcomed everyone here, two shapeshifters caught Nadya and Ren’s eyes.

“Oh, hell no,” Edward says, looking straight at Jake. Leah and Embry's bust out laughing at what just happened to not only Jake but also Seth.

“Edward, you know we can't control it,” Jake says. Jared in the background making bets with Quil and Embry on who’s going to win.

“I say Edward.” – Jared

“No shit, he’s a dad. Of course, he is.” – Quil

“My bets on Jake. He’ll attempt to reason with him.” – Embry

“Naw, Jake tried to take Bella. This might be anger he never knew he had.” Emmett joined in, betting $20. They had a pool of $60 at this point. Then I hear,

“Join…no fight…”

“I'm going to say no fight because Ren has power over both of them.” I join in, placing a $20 while smiling. Embry and Jared look at me, and before they can say anything, “NO TAKE BACKS!” Needless to say, I won the money, and the party continued. Edward chaperoned Jake and Ren the whole night. One wrong thought from Jake and his life was done. Treaty or no treaty. Seth, on the other hand, was flirting and having a ball with Nadya. I wonder how that’s going to end up.

After the party ended and everything was cleaned up, Nadya and Ren went to bed while Alice and Esme took over in renovating parts of the house that Nadya hasn’t seen, so she isn’t suspicious. Embry and I headed back to our house just on the outskirts of Forks and La Push. I didn’t get any special treatment just because I was Embry’s mate. But if I’m honest, I’m glad I wasn’t on the Reservation. At the time, my family was still there. The only time I was allowed was to visit my grandparent's grave.

Nana died of another heart attack, and Papa died soon afterward from the loss of Nana. That year I had gone missing. Aunt Lydia and dad had a falling out. Mom and dad split after two years, multiple counseling sessions, and marriage and therapy appointments. Nothing seemed to work between the two of them. I felt terrible. It felt as if that was my fault. Embry and Jared made sure that it wasn’t. It was hard to believe them, but eventually, I knew I had to move forward one way or another.

I tried to send anonymous letters to them; it helped some, but not enough. Although, a few years ago, dad and aunt Lydia finally rekindled their relationship, and Aunt Lydia reached out to mom. It was painful for all three of them, but they finally came to a neutral ground and grieved like they should’ve all those years ago. Aunt Lydia stayed in the area and got married to her second husband. Mom moved back to Texas and eventually started dating but not for a long while. And Dad moved to Seattle, where he met an old high school sweetheart of his.

I now lay in bed with my husband on Isle Esme, a gift from Carlisle and Esme for our 20th wedding anniversary. Do you know how hard it is to not explain to the natives on the island that all the food I got wasn’t for me, but for my husband? Do you also know how irritating, yet flattering, it was to see women attempt to flirt with Embry? He was awkward and continuously looked for my help. Other times, he would pass by them and blankly ignore them.

“You know, babe. Emmett gave us this gift that I think we should try out. Then go into town for a while.” I perk up at that and look at my husband.

“Oh yeah? What is it?” I said with excitement.

“A butterfly…” he shows and explains to me what it does. We test run it, and boy, does it make you want to grab the edge of a table and break it. Ironically, that’s precisely what I did. The bastard had it on high too, and I nearly lost my shit. Needless to say, we didn’t go into town until the next morning, and he still made me keep it on.

Later that night, while Embry was asleep, I glanced at him and just felt a rush of happiness submerge deep from within. This, this right here is the life I’ve been searching for. This is the life that I will be forever grateful for.

Part 1: Hello My Dear Friend

Part 2: Goodbye My Dear Friend

Part 3: Welcome My Dear Friend

Part 4: Why My Dear Friend

Part 5: End My Dear Friend

Request Open! (Go to the description bar on my page to put one in)

[elenatria]

Jarllan HC: salty Jared because Stellan won the award while he didn’t. His jealousy turned into passionate & steamy night.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22268644

He hadn’t talked with Pierce for more than a year. They had exchanged a couple of emails and photos from that insane Mamma Mia II afterparty but that was it, Stellan had to quickly fly back to Vilnius and put those horrible fake brows back on. His stay in Lithuania was all work, jokes between takes, late-night drinks and booing Jared and Emily for their World Cup win over Sweden. Saturdays were reserved for dinners with Swedish specialties because, for all their bragging, those obnoxious Brits knew shit-all about cooking. Truly, he had no time for anything or anyone else.

Now he finally had the chance to catch up with Pierce and his sons while the ceremony’s afterglow lingered on and mixed with the alcohol in his veins. He took their hands in his and shook them vividly, praising them for their consummate appearance on stage (“Although Brad Pitt made you chase him a bit, didn’t he?” he teased Dylan, the eldest of the two, as he ruffled his long silky hair).

The boys walked off and Stellan smiled as he watched Dylan trying to brush his impeccable hair back into place. When he turned to ask the waiter for another glass of beer, he caught a glimpse of that familiar graying head bobbing about happily, nervously, hovering over a sea of shaking hands and cheeks leaning for a kiss, dropping humbly at every word of comfort and every “You should have won that Globe”. So many people had spent the evening telling Jared the same thing over and over again that Stellan could read their lips by now.

He also knew he was staring like a smitten teenager but he didn’t care, he just stood there, drinking in every little detail: Jared’s rimless glasses sliding down his nose with every little bow, full lips puckering every now and then for a kiss, hands crossing coyly in front of his crotch like a debutante at her first dance. That wasn’t his first “dance” and Stellan knew it, they both knew it; Jared had been accepting praise alongside consolation for way too long.

The Swede meant to make a cheeky remark about “the Duke of Edinburgh”, the lanky ever-smiling Brit whose arm, just as empty and trophy-less as Jared’s, was hanging over his boy’s shoulders (probably sharing with him the bitter cup of defeat) but as he swiftly turned back to Pierce, he felt the floor tremble like jelly under his Armani shoes.

Pierce quickly slipped a hand under his arm. “Eeeeasy now, buddy, even I don’t drink that much,” he laughed helping him down to the sofa with careful steps.

“You never drink that much,” Stellan mumbled wrestling with his pocket for his glasses, only to remember he had been wearing contacts since morning.

He squeezed his eyes shut, then flew them open in a hopeless effort to get rid of the fogginess that made him feel like he was swimming in a cloudy fish tank. “You’re just not Swedish enough,” he growled swiping a wrist over his feverish brow.

Pierce chuckled and leaned over him. “You okay, old man? Want me to bring you some water? You’re all flushed.”

Stellan huffed out a deep breath, his quivery knees a bitter reminder that he wasn’t so young anymore, and dragged Pierce’s hand over his lap, cupping the back of his neck for support until their foreheads touched. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” he slurred against the bearded man’s lips, “just a little tipsy.”

A familiar figure flashed behind closed eyelids, a hoarser voice, a different beard. Stellan needed more than water, he needed those rimless glasses looking up at him with the same boyish astonishment they had when they first met, he needed--

A reassuring pat on the knee dragged him out of his daze. The dream, the graying red hair, the fifty-eight-year-old schoolboy with the wide-eyed admiration was gone.

“Water it is then,” Pierce said with a broad fatherly smile and headed for the buffet.

The minute Stellan felt Pierce’s weight lift off the sofa, it all came back to him - his moment of glory frame by frame, as if watching the movie of someone else’s life: that handsome kid on stage uttering his name in one single breath, Jared jumping to his feet to clap  before he could even swallow  (what was it he was munching, wild mushroom risotto or vegetarian taco?), the endless walk to the stage (because they had to stash an old man way back on the balcony, they just had to).  

He thought he’d be cool and aloof about it but he wasn’t – not for the first couple of seconds. Those long and crowded corridors, those endless steps, those blinding lights on a podium he never thought he’d walk on, it was a lot to take in. He was panting out the words, sweat breaking beneath brows styled especially for the occasion, until he found his zen-like composure again and turned his talk into what every acceptance speech should be like: a joke.

To his bewilderment, it wasn’t a joke everyone appreciated; when he returned to their table, Jared pretended he was more interested in those tedious “thank you” lists of shiny smiling people he hardly knew than in congratulating him, shushing him every time he leaned in to comment or jest about this dress or that hairdo.

He did get his tight congratulatory hug from Jared as soon as they joined HBO’s after party at Circa 55, lips planting a soft meaningful kiss on his cheek as they breathed “Well done, Stellan, well done”, a perfectly coiffed beard tickling his bare jaw and those pallid hands, hesitant at first, pressing boldly on his ribs before sliding up just enough to make him feel the warmth, the need.

It didn’t last more than a few seconds, Craig broke into their space demanding his own hug with open arms, but it was enough to have Stellan reeling and seeing Jared naked at the bottom of every glass of beer he downed for the rest of the evening.

As soon as Craig broke the spell, Jared, as if waking from a trance, cleared his throat and stated he was dying for a drink. If Stellan could judge by his past habits, he probably was. Like an elusive leprechaun the ginger-haired man disappeared into the crowd before Stellan got the chance to tell him how much he wished he could share the Globe with him.

They didn’t exchange a single word for the next three hours. Stellan spent the evening boasting to his fans about the weight of his Globe never denying a selfie, while Jared made the rounds near their reserved tables, feting their victory and accepting congratulations that more often than not sounded like condolences.

By the time they were both alone, most guests were gone; they were left tired and silent, engulfed by the chattering of strangers, slow music and half-empty dishes.

The Prince of Sunken Cheeks, Long Faces and even longer arms who had claimed Jared’s shoulders earlier was nowhere to be seen. Mister Jared Francis Harris, his back bathed in red and gold, stood alone leaning against a column, statuesque and beautiful in his black tuxedo.

For some reason his posture reminded Stellan of something his agent had emailed him a while back: on Thanksgiving morning and just as awards season was kicking off, Jared had taken a photo with his back turned on the camera, gazing at the ocean from his house in Miami. He was dreaming with his eyes open, contemplating years and years of hard work, wins and losses. He deserved the Globe, Stellan pondered, and that photo was more than a moment frozen in time: it was a moment when Jared was truly happy - a moment when he still had hope.

Stellan glanced at the black leathered case he had left on the table; inside of it the gold-plated piece of zinc he had been handed a few hours ago was already losing its luster. He turned to look at Jared’s back again, drumming his fingers on his thigh. He stroked a hand over the creases of his jacket and walked up to the lonely bespectacled man by the pillar, determined to lift his mood. He was too old, too Swedish, too drunk to let the people he cared for dwell in childish frustration.

“There you are!” he boomed startling Jared out of his statue-like stillness. “I thought you had gone to sleep.”

Jared’s face was lit by a faint smile, his hands buried deep into his pockets. “Sleep? Nah, sleep is for the old.”

Stellan’s lips curled with inebriated joy; he wrapped an arm around the shoulder he had been waiting for hours to reclaim and squeezed hard. “I have news, HBO wants us to work together again, did they tell you?”

Jared tensed under his touch, then huffed out a chuckle. “Is that right,” he murmured with a slow uninterested nod.

Stellan stroked his furrowed brow. After all the success “Chernobyl” had at the Emmys and the Globes, he found it hard to believe he saw no joy in his colleague’s eyes. “Come on!” he shook him. “You should be happy!”

Jared scoffed crossing his legs, his arms still rigid against his own ribs. “Happy.”

Stellan let his hands fall limply on his sides. “You mean you’re not happy?” he muttered, his jaw dropping in bewilderment. “You don’t want to work with me again?”

Jared clicked his tongue swaying his head from side to side as if trying to decide which set of words would hurt less.

Stellan felt his breath catch. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol, the post-award depression starting to kick in or Jared’s vacant stare avoiding him - as if the two men hardly knew each other anymore.

“You don’t want to work with me?...” he repeated weakly, his confidence leaking out of him one shallow breath at a time.

Jared turned at last, holding his gaze with his own blue, unfathomable stare. “It’s not that simple.”

“What? What’s not that simple?”

“I love working with you, Stellan. You know that. It’s just that—”

“Just what?”

“I’ve already been offered other projects.”

Other projects.

Stellan had never felt so lost before.

There were times in his youth when he’d play in experimental films and soft-porn films and it felt weird and stupid and hilarious - but he was okay with it all, he did it proudly, he knew he had made the right choice. There were times when he had to leave his boys and his girl for months on end, and he’d call them up or pack them all on a plane and take them to stay with him, just to come back from fifteen hours of shooting every day, have a drink with them for five minutes before crashing out on the sofa. That was enough to help him shrug off his guilt and keep doing what he was doing. He never felt disheartened or disoriented, not even when he took a divorce; he never lost his faith, his clarity. He didn’t know if it was bravery or recklessness or some false sense of security but it was always there, it was what kept him going: knowing he’d win no matter what.

But he wasn’t winning now. He never knew what it meant to feel utterly naked, stripped of all hope. For the first time in months he held Jared literally in his arms and the man was slipping away from him like sand in the wind.

Other projects.

His lips spat out the words before he could form the thought itself. “What other projects?”

“Well,” Jared said scratching his head, “there’s this thing for Apple based on Asimov’s books—”

“Apple?!” Stellan scoffed. “Apple is yet to produce any successful TV shows, are you kidding me? Tell them to stick to iPhones, Jesus Christ.”

“Yes, Apple Plus is new but it has potential,” Jared insisted. “And it pays.”

“You mean HBO doesn’t pay?” Stellan retorted.

Jared breathed out an impatient sigh. “Apple pitched ‘Foundation’ to me months ago,” he said, his brow creasing as a red flush crept up his cheeks. “And I need a job. Where were your HBO people when I needed them? Waiting to see whether I’d get a major award or not? Well I didn’t.”

“They are not my HBO people,” Stellan growled, stunned by Jared’s sudden outburst. “And you got lots of awards, don’t whine.”

“Whine,” Jared breathed, squinting in disbelief. “You make it look so easy, don’t you,” he shot back, his blue eyes cutting through Stellan like shards of ice. “Flying all the way from Europe just to get the award and go back. No parties before that, no promo tour, no social media for you. But of course. It wasn’t in your contract, none of it was.” His nostrils flared as he squeezed his lips shut. “No other distinctions before tonight,” he raged, “nothing to herald your triumph or keep you on your toes. No anticipation, no promises, and no days of endless doubt. Just you in your three-piece falling from the sky, snatching the biggest award and then BOOM, back to Sweden. As if nothing happened, as if nothing changed.”

Stellan took a beat to take it all in, holding back the turning of his stomach as the beer’s yeasty sourness reached his mouth. He staggered, trying to keep steady on a floor that felt more jelly-like than ever. “… Okay, now I know you’re drunker than I am,” he slurred grabbing his stomach.

Jared huffed out a chuckle and turned the other way.

“What does this have to do with you agreeing to do that Apple thing?” Stellan protested, bewildered. “Have you signed already?”

“Of course I have,” Jared snapped, “don’t you read the news? It was all over twitter - oh I forgot—” He shook his head crossing his arms like a man who had lost all patience, all hope in humanity.

Stellan furrowed his brow, the realization that he was losing Jared striking him harder than a bucket of freezing water. He was beyond somber now. He was depressed.

“I’m really sorry…” he muttered pressing his shoulder against the column, his long hands disappearing into his pockets as he leaned closer to Jared’s ear. “I didn’t know how bad it was for you.”

Jared threw him a side glance cocking a slightly intrigued brow, his lips fighting to remain shut and unforgiving. He turned back to the stage watching the pianist play an easy, forgettable tune. “It’s quite alright,” he mumbled bitterly. “Thank God it’s all over...”

That phrase, so familiar--

Stellan, still fighting off gallons of beer clouding his brain, couldn’t resist quoting a film, any film, just to lighten the mood. Given his state, it wasn’t such a bad idea to focus on something other than Jared’s foul mood.

“Isn’t that from… from…” He snapped his fingers. “Oh I know,” he said, proud of his memory overcoming his drunkenness. “‘My Fair Lady.’”

Jared blinked once, twice, before staring back in utter disbelief. “You just had to mention my stepfather now, didn’t you.”

Stellan clamped his eyes shut, regretting every single word; he knew about Rex Harrison, how he hated children and never missed a chance to show it to the three Harris boys. He knew how happy Sexy Rexy was when the boys were sent off to a Catholic boarding school, Jared had told him all about his mother’s second marriage over a bowl of beef Rydberg and two bottles of wine. That was the only dinner Stellan had prepared with Jared as the sole guest during the “Chernobyl” filming, the only chance they had to open up to each other.

The chance they wasted.

“Okay, that was a perfectly wrong way to continue the conversation,” he apologized. “It just… It feels so lonely without you,” he muttered giving the base of the column little kicks, his eyes glued on the floor. “I don’t want to do this if you’re not there. The HBO thing I mean.”

“Well you don’t have to,” Jared said icily.

“They want both of us,” Stellan insisted. “It’s about two strangers meeting on a plane that flies over Europe. It’s about Brexit, a dystopian scenario speculating on the future of the continent. One of them carries a briefcase with--”

“You can tell Pierce about it,” Jared cut him off.

“Who…?”

“Pierce. You look great together.”

Stellan’s mouth slacked open. That total prick, that fucking elusive leprechaun. He had been spying on them the whole evening.

“What does Pierce have to do with anything?” he roared not believing his ears. “He’s already booked for the next two years.”

“Oh, is that why you chose me over him, because I was the one available?” Jared snapped.  “Good to know.”

“For crying out loud, Jared, he’s my friend,” Stellan exclaimed throwing his hands in the air, “and you’re… and you’re—"  

“What am I?”

That inescapable cold stare again; Stellan pressed his lips together in a stubborn pout. If Jared wanted him to say it, he wouldn’t indulge him, no way. Not a word, not a breath, not unless he stopped being a child. Fifty-eight-year-old children were beyond his area of expertise.

“A pain in the ass,” he blurted out instead.

From where he was standing he couldn’t see Jared’s expression, only his flustered ear and the edge of his bearded jaw. Still, that unmistakable dimple on the other man’s freckled cheek made his heart miss a beat.

Did he just…?

Yes, he did. Jared was suppressing a smile.  

Jared shook his head and gazed at their table where Johan was lowering the rim of his hat over closed eyes before sinking into his chair, sleepy and half-drunk. “You really should give it to Pierce, you know,” he insisted, not without a tint of sadistic joy. “He’s just as British as I am. Or Colin -- oh he would be just perfect.”

Stellan let his jaw hang and closed it several times before he could form a single word. “You can’t be serious.”

“Oh I’m dead serious.”

Stellan heaved a deep frustrated sigh. “Jared, I haven’t played the jealousy game since I was sixteen, shirtless and in a straw hat. There’s a perfect explanation for what you saw, I was drunk and Pierce was helping me sit. What is your ‘Prince’s’ excuse for laying his hands all over you?”

“My ‘prince’? What prince?” Jared blinked behind his glasses, baffled.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Stellan said squeezing the bridge of his nose. “What’s his name.”

Jared’s eyes widened in shock. “Oh you don’t mean—” His jaw dropped. “You can’t mean… Toby.”

“YES, thank you.”

Jared opened his arms, his mouth gaping incredulously, as if he was asked to explain why one and one equals two. “Yes, we were laughing that’s why he leaned on me, he was saying that the Globes were glorified dildos, nothing more.”

“Oh!...”Stellan yelped arching his brows. He looked left and right wondering if he wasn’t the only one who had heard the insult. “Oh, but this is getting better and better…!”

Jared’s face changed in an instant; he wasn’t high on his own rage anymore, he wasn’t resentful or bitter. He was as hurt as Stellan was.

And just as lost.

“I’m-- sorry,” he stuttered hanging his head. “It was only a joke. I shouldn’t have told you.”

“Oh it’s fine,” Stellan said coldly, his face a mask of stone. “It’s good to know what you have in your head. What you think of me. All these months of working together when all I needed was this one evening. Quite enlightening.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose once more, hoping he could get rid of those fucking contacts as soon as possible - or maybe gauge his eyes out, why not; the headache that was beginning to replace his alcohol-induced cheerfulness was threatening to split his skull in half.

Jared took a shuddering breath. “Stellan…”

He almost made a move to get closer to him. He stopped.

Stellan wasn’t listening to him, wasn’t seeing him anymore. His eyes darted around looking for the closest exit until they settled on the big black box on the table. For a moment he wished that kid on the stage had never called his name; he wished he had kept eating his risotto without giving a fuck.

Not having any fucks to give was a state of mind, a way of life. Maybe he should go back to it at some point.

He fumbled in his pockets for the cloakroom ticket, shoved the black case under his arm and stormed off.

“Where are you going?” Jared shouted after him.

“Catching the earliest flight to Stockholm,” he thundered, not looking back. “My glorified dildo needs a mantle to sit on.”

[winchesterprincessbride]

The Contest-Part 36

To celebrate Supernatural’s 15th season, the producers have decided to hold a contest to cast an unknown in a recurring role as Sam’s rumored love interest.  They are doing open casting calls all over the country.  Your best friend Nikki wants to go and she drags you along. Much to your surprise, you land the role and your life changes forever when you fall in love with one of the show’s leads, Jared Padalecki

A/N:  I am actually telling two stories here, Jared and Readers, and Sam and Gemini’s.  It flips back and forth, so try and keep up! : *Note: My vision for the show is different from what has actually happened, and some characters and plotlines may differ.

Part 1                   My Masterlist

Characters: Jared Padalecki, Reader, Best friend Nikki(OC) Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins,  Rory Montgomery (OC), PA Emily (OC) Cliff, Other Supernatural cast and crew

Gemini’s POV

My head popped up from the table, startling Sam and Dean, who were quietly eating their breakfast so as not to wake me. “Pancakes?” I said groggily as I sat up quickly. “Why do I smell pancakes?”

“Hey sleepyhead,” Sam said with a smile. “You must be beat, Gem. You fell asleep right at the table!”

Dean pushed a foil-wrapped plate in my direction. “Saved you some.”

I shook my head to clear it. “No guys, listen! My BFF Kelly Kline paid me another visit in my dreams. She told me where Jack is!” I pushed away from the table and stood up. Sam opened his mouth to say something, but I waved a hand at him.

“And before you say anything, I HAVE to go. Jack will only come to me. Don’t ask me why, but Kelly said it had to be me. So I am going! Get Cas, get Mary, but I am going and you can’t stop me.” I was starting to get really worked up.

Sam held out a placating hand. “If Kelly says it has to be you, then it has to be you. I don’t like it but I won’t stop you. I just want you and the baby to be safe.”

I jumped out of my seat and grabbed a piece of scrap paper and I pet from the junk drawer. I quickly scrawled down an address and handed it to Sam, “This is where Kelly says Jack is.”

Readers POV

When  I entered Jared’s trailer, he was face-timing the kids. The turned when I entered.  “Perfect timing, babe. They were just asking for you.”

I looked over Jared’s shoulder at the screen. “Hey, Sheppy! How’s it goin’ bud?”

Shep proceeded to laugh into a long story about some cool bug he had found before Tom apparently had enough of waiting and pushed him out of the way. “Lemme talk!” he demanded.

“Hi, Tom-Tom! I promise I will talk to everyone. How’s school?”

Tom’s face filled the small screen. “I can add now!” he said proudly

I grinned at him. Damn Jared’s kids were adorable.”Good for you! Keep up the good work. Where’s Odette?”

“She’s nappin”.  But Mamma wants to talk to you. Bye Daddy, bye, Y/N.” Without another word, Tom zoomed off, and the screen was blank.  The Gen appeared, looking like she had everything under control, as usual.

I don’t know how the woman did it. Yeah, she had help, but she had two very high energy boys, a girl that was into everything and still managed to find time to run a blog. “Hey Y/N! How is your mom? We missed you at the wedding,” Gen said with a smile.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. She’s much better, thanks for asking.” I replied

Jared cleared his throat. “Uh, Gen, we have something to tell you, well two things actually. I asked Y/N to marry me, and she’s pregnant.”

I leaned over his shoulder, “just to clarify, he asked me to marry him before I told him I was pregnant.” I said with a smirk.

“Oh my god! That’s wonderful news! I am so happy for you two! I can’t wait to tell David! When’s the wedding going to be?” she asked curiously.

Jared and I looked at each other. “We haven’t really talked about that yet.”

Gemini’s POV

Sam looked up from the paper I had handed him.”Jack’s in Biloxi, Missippi?”

“That’s what Kelly said,” I told him as he grabbed his laptop and entered the address into a site to get a satellite view. He turned the computer towards us.

Dean peered down at the screen. “It looks like a farm in the middle of nowhere.”

“I’m sure it will be crawling with demons,” Cas commented as he stared at the screen.

“Lucifer wouldn’t have it any other way. He knows we are going to take another crack at him, he’s just biding his time.” Sam said as he glanced at me with worry in his eyes.

“Gabriel was the only thing that kept us from getting our asses handed to us last time we tried to take on Lucifer! What’s gonna be different this time?” Dean demanded.  “If anyone has an idea I’d like to hear it.”

“Rowena,” I whispered.  “She hates Lucifer. He destroyed her body. He’s the reason she transferred her soul into me. Maybe we can strike a deal with her. Give her something she wants in exchange for her helping us.”

“I don’t trust her,” Dean snapped. “She always finds a way to screw us.”

“Do you have a better idea?” I said impatiently.

Dean looked over at Sam and they had one of those silent conversations that drove me nuts. I rolled my eyes in annoyance, would it kill you two to talk out loud lie normal people once in a while?”

Sam smiled sheepishly at me. “Sorry. Dean thinks we should call Crowley. He hates Lucifer with a passion. We can probably get him to help us. But I know how you feel about him.”

“Desperate times, Sam,” I said with a sigh. “He’s not my favorite person, but whatever we have to do to get to Jack and make it out alive, then I say we do it.”

“Fine then. You do your dream talking thing and see if Rowena will bite, and I’ll reach out to Crowley.” Dean decided.

“"What makes you think Crawley will listen to you?” I said with a smirk.

“Crowley and Dean were very close at one time. I think Dean will be able to get him to agree.,” Cas told me, and I looked at Dean with surprise.

“You and Crowley were close? Why on earth would you and the king of hell be BFFs?”

“Back when Dean was a demon, they were very close,” Cas said matter-of-factly.

“You were a damn demon? Seriously? Is there anything you two haven’t done?” I muttered with a shake of my head.

Dean glared at Cas. Thanks a lot, bigmouth!”

Cas looked completely confused as to why Dean was annoyed. “But you WERE a demon,” he repeated as if this explained everything.

I smiled at Cas. “Just ignore him. He’s just mad because he didn’t want me to know. If he can use his past with Crowley to get him to help us, then great!”

“So what kind of deal can you make with Rowena?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know. But she hates Lucifer enough that maybe she’ll help us just to see him suffer.,” I said hopefully.

Reader’s POV

Now that I was pregnant, the long days of filming were starting to take a toll on me.  When I was not needed for a scene, I could usually be found napping in Jared’s trailer. When I was late to shoot a scene because I fell asleep, the immature assholes I work with made sure to tease me about it.

“It’s about time, Sleeping Beauty. We have work to do.” Jensen said with a smirk.

“It can’t be easy carrying Gigantor junior in there. It must be sucking the life from you like a parasite,” Misha interjected.

“Guys…” Jared said warningly.

“For your information, children, you get to have all the fun, but we women are the ones who do the heavy lifting. So until you are ready to carry a baby, shut the fuck up!” you practically snarled.

Jensen and Misha held their hands up in mock surrender.  “We were just messing with ya, Y/N,” Jensen said consolingly.

“Well knock it off, or I’ll rat you out to both your wives.”

Misha’s eyes widened, “you wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me!” you said with a grin.

Gemini’s POV

I struggled that night to fall asleep. I didn’t like sharing my head with Rowena.  Every time she hijacked my body and I lost chunks of time, I resented her for it.  But eventually, exhaustion won out and I drifted off to sleep.

Just like before I was back in the dark, cave-like space, and I could barely make out Rowena’s figure in the shadows. “Hello, Rowena,” I whispered, not sure who else was listening.

“So, here for my help, are you?” she said with a cold smile.

“How do you.....I began, but she cut me off.

“I am always in the background listening, dearie. So if you want to count on my help to fight Lucifer and fetch his wee son, it’s going to cost you.”

“Cost me what?” I demanded impatiently. “Name your terms!”

“Normally I have healing spells in place so I can’t be killed, but after the last time, I took precautions. That is why I transferred my soul into you. Lucifer destroyed my body so thoroughly there was no way I could come back from it this time.”

“Tell me something I don’t know!” I snapped in annoyance.

“What’s left of me is sitting in an evidence box in a forensic lab in Chicago. An unsolved murder no one cares about.” I could tell Rowena was furious just by her tone of voice.

“What can I do?”

I need you to get one of my bones, there is a spell in the black grimoire that I can use to regenerate my body.  That is my price for helping you.”

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[artelsewhere]

Arnold Schwarzenegger visited St. Stephen's Cathedral

"Something is going wrong in our society" - Günter Schwaiger deals with domestic violence in his film "The Diver". Archbishop of Vienna celebrated traditional annual thanks mass with the association "Our St. Stephen's Cathedral" and Mayor Ludwig. Tomoko Mayeda's path to baptism is paved with many encounters, inspirations and of course with music. The rite on the Danube Canal, headed by Metropolitan Arsenios, also commemorates Christians' commitment to environmental protection. Father Markus Langer of the Viennese Dominicans invites interested parties to the “beta - new questions” course.

All offers at a glance

The content may be subject to additional terms. By using this website, you agree to the terms of use and the privacy policy. Critical voices also accused him of failing to honor his pledge to reduce California's budget deficit after two years in office. Up to the age of 18, Schwarzenegger also competed in several Olympic weightlifting competitions, where he became junior state champion in the heavyweight class in 1965. In October of the same year he finally won the first big BB championship in Stuttgart when he was voted "Best-Built Junior Athlete".

Schwarzenegger has been interested in hero and sandal films since his youth. He decided early on to do the same as his role models and to become an actor. His imposing appearance helped Schwarzenegger gain a foothold in the film business - initially under the pseudonym Arnold Strong. His first role was Hercules in the film Hercules in New York (1970), in which his American original voice had to be synchronized due to its strong Styrian accent. With a total of seven Mr. Olympia titles and five Mr. Universum titles, Arnold Schwarzenegger was the most successful bodybuilder of his time and is still regarded as a defining personality in bodybuilding.

edit Schwarzenegger as director

These enable our website to be better serviced. Bishop of Innsbruck names difficulties why not check here of people to bind to a community as a reason for leaving the church. The five-part drama series tells the shocking story of the Chernobyl reactor disaster starring Jared Harris, Stellan Skarsgård and Emily Watson. A total of 262 episodes of the television series have appeared in 12 seasons. The series is still running at ProSieben in the night program and in the early morning. Passengers should feel safer again. Since evil returns to Derry in Maine every 27 years, "ES Chapter 2" takes the characters - who have lost sight of each other since then - back to the place of horror as adults almost three decades after the events of the first film back. As an FBI agent, it was Joe Navarro's job to expose spies, killers and criminals using their body language for 25 years.

[dank-hp--memes]

Falling apart: A Valana AU

It was fairly early in the morning when Ulana awoke to the buzzing of Valery's alarm. She felt his arm, which had been wrapped around her torso, retreat so that he could stop the loud ringing sound. Once the silence in the room had been restored, Valery wrapped his arm back around Ulana, pressing his nose against the crook of her neck and planting a few soft kisses on her neck. 

"You have to get ready" Ulana mumbles, her eyes closed as she gently reaches back and places her hand on his cheek.

Valery simply groaned in response before rolling out of bed. Ulana grinned sleepily and rolled over to cuddle his pillow. She felt him plant a soft kiss on her forehead before wandering down the hall to the bathroom. 

It was around twenty minutes later when Valery returned to their room, wrapped in his towel. Ulana slightly opened her eyes, watching as he dressed.

"You're really going to wear that?" She mumbled, sitting up a little. 

Valery smiled as he pulled on a light blue button-down. 

"Yes, I am. Now, you need to get some rest…" he said, approaching the bed and gently pushing Ulana back against the soft mattress.

"But I am feeling better," Ulana said, looking up at him groggily. 

Valery simply shook his head in response, Ulana had been feeling ill for a few days and he had finally gotten her to take the day off work to rest. Ulana sighed and begrudgingly listened to him, curling back up in bed. Valery gently planted a kiss on Ulana's lips before heading down the hall to gather his things before heading to work.

Around an hour later, Ulana crawled out of bed and wandered to the kitchen to get some water. As she glanced at the table she noticed Valery's thermos, which he had left behind. She smiled a little, shaking her head. She had planned to go see a doctor this morning, so she could just take it to him on her way home. 

After brewing herself some tea, Ulana got dressed and gently brushed through her hair before heading out to her car, Valery's thermos tucked under her arm. 

Ulana sat in the exam room for around twenty minutes, waiting to see a doctor. An older woman with short, chin-length silver hair entered the room, peering at Ulana through a pair of comically large glasses. 

"What are you here for?" The doctor says, narrowing her eyes slightly at Ulana. 

"I've been a bit ill as of late. I have had trouble eating, for I am always extremely nauseous, and I have been running a slight fever. I have also been a bit light-headed" Ulana explains.

The doctor quickly scribbles down Ulana's symptoms before beginning to examine her. Ulana jumped as the doctor's cold hands pressed against her neck, checking for swollen lymph nodes. 

For a moment, the doctor looked puzzled, her eyebrows furrowed. 

"Is there any possibility you could be pregnant?" She asks as she wraps a blood pressure cuff around Ulana's arm.

Ulana thought for a moment, biting her lip.

"Yes… that is a possibility," she mumbled, feeling a bit foolish for not seeing the signs. 

The doctor nodded in silence, looking Ulana over. She ended up taking some blood and finishing up a thorough examination of Ulana. About thirty minutes later the doctor returned, a smile on her face. 

"I have some good news, comrade Khomyuk. You are indeed pregnant… your blood pressure is quite low, and you may suffer from light-headedness and a tendency to pass out. I would recommend ginger tea for nausea and plenty of rest" she says softly, fixing her glasses. 

Ulana sat there for a moment, wide-eyed, a huge smile spreading across her face. Now, Ulana would have to figure out how to tell Valery. Ulana thanked the doctor as she gathered her things before heading back out to her car. Her beige Lada had become cold from the cool fall air. It took a moment to start, but nothing seemed to bother her. She gently placed her hand on her lower belly and smiled, being more than ecstatic about the small life growing within her. The red thermos placed on the seat beside her reminded Ulana that she was going to be seeing Valery much sooner than she thought. After taking a moment to herself, Ulana put her car into drive and headed to the Kurchatov Institute. It did not take long for Ulana to get there, and before she knew it, she was walking inside. Her footsteps echoed through the hall as she approached Valery's office. She smiled a little, trembling with excitement as she approached the door. As she pushed open the door, Ulana felt her heart stop. There was another woman, sitting on Valery's desk, her pale legs spread wide as Valery had his arms wrapped around her. The thermos slipped from her hand and hit the floor with a loud clang. Valery looked up and their eyes met.

"Lana…" he said, his eyes widening.

Ulana took a step back, her face getting rather red as she turned and stormed down the hall. Valery hurriedly pushed the other woman aside and hurried after Ulana. 

"Lana, Ulana, sweetheart…" He says, running after her. 

Ulana did not acknowledge him, her car keys clenched in her fist. Valery reached out and gently grabbed her shoulder, causing her to swing around, punching him in the face. 

"Get away from me!" She snarled before whipping back around and storming out the doors. She hurried out to her car, tears streaming down her cheeks. Ulana looked up as she turned the key in the ignition, seeing Valery sprinting toward her car, her vision distorted by tears. He ran up and tried to pull open her door, but she had locked it. He pressed his hand to the window and she could see him saying her name, begging her to come out. Ulana was holding her stomach, her chest heaving as she had a panic attack. She wanted to vomit. Oh god, what had she just witnessed.

[texasviva117]

Texas A&m Football Spread

Alabama Texas A&m Football Spread

Texas A&m Baseball

Texas A&m Football Spread

At Texas A&M University-Commerce, we educate, discover and achieve. Our public university offers programs in health sciences, business, education, agriculture, humanities and the arts. Texas A&M University-Texarkana Athletics. The Eagles hosted Jarvis Christian College Thursday afternoon at George Dobson Field. TAMUT took game one 11-9 and won game two 11-1. With the wins, the Eagles move to 10-6 on the season. Jarvis falls to 1-8. Game 1 Jared Davis (SR/Houston, TX) got the nod in Game 1. Get the latest Texas A&M Football news, photos, rankings, lists and more on Bleacher Report. New CBS News/YouGov polls show President Donald Trump is in trouble in three states he won in 2016. He's tied with former Vice President Joe Biden in Arizona (46% to 46%), a state he won by four. 19 days ago by Olin Buchanan. Despite not having a potent passing attack, Texas A&M went 9-1 in 2020 and finished fourth in the national rankings. Should the Aggie offense threaten deep more often, the Maroon & White could find themselves in contention for championships.

Alabama Texas A&m Football Spread

Texas A&m Baseball

Texas A&m Football Spread

Campus and community members are invited to share feedback so the university can provide the best mobility experience.

The post Transportation Services Launches Plan To Envision, Implement A New Mobility Future appeared first on Texas A&M Today.

Transportation Services Launches Plan To Envision, Implement A New Mobility Future

The five ceremonies will take place March 11-13 at Kyle Field.

The post Texas A&M Concludes 2020 Graduation Season With Make-Up Ceremonies appeared first on Texas A&M Today.

Texas A&M Concludes 2020 Graduation Season With Make-Up Ceremonies

University Libraries is hosting Gwendolyn Carol Webb as part of its Diversity Lecture Series.

The post How And Why Black Lives Matter At Texas A&M appeared first on Texas A&M Today.

How And Why Black Lives Matter At Texas A&M

A new Texas A&M study found that stock ownership drives day-to-day spending.

The post Investors Are More Loyal To — And Buy More From — Brands Whose Stocks They Own appeared first on Texas A&M Today.

Investors Are More Loyal To — And Buy More From — Brands Whose Stocks They Own

The Dr. M.C. Cooper Dental Clinic is slated to open in April in South Dallas. It will be staffed by College of Dentistry students under the supervision of licensed faculty.

The post Texas A&M Dental Clinic Named In Honor Of State’s First Black Dentist appeared first on Texas A&M Today.

Texas A&M Dental Clinic Named In Honor Of State’s First Black Dentist

Texas A&M associate professor Emily Pentzer is being honored for her contributions to the field of polymer and materials science, educating students and her service to the scientific community.

The post Pentzer Named 2021 ‘Rising Star’ By American Chemical Society appeared first on Texas A&M Today.

Pentzer Named 2021 ‘Rising Star’ By American Chemical Society

A Texas A&M research team is using genome sequencing to monitor herring populations, which could help prevent overfishing.

The post Replenishing Atlantic Herring appeared first on Texas A&M Today.

Replenishing Atlantic Herring

Experts will be featured on panel discussions ranging from space law to building life-sustaining environments on other planets.

The post Texas A&M Space Lab To Open At SXSW Online appeared first on Texas A&M Today.

Texas A&M Space Lab To Open At SXSW Online

The work of Texas A&M researchers is helping engineers better assess the vulnerability of coastal landscapes.

The post Understanding The Resilience Of Barrier Islands And Coastal Dunes After Storms appeared first on Texas A&M Today.

Understanding The Resilience Of Barrier Islands And Coastal Dunes After Storms

The world will need to plan ahead and develop systems for fighting the next outbreak, Texas A&M experts say.

The post 5 Strategies To Prepare Now For The Next Pandemic appeared first on Texas A&M Today.

5 Strategies To Prepare Now For The Next Pandemic

[not2nightsatan]

Lights will guide me

word count: 2305

warnings: none? really bad writing, probably grammar and spelling errors

A/N: I know it’s not really good but I wanted to post it anyways cuz there’s not enough wolf pack content existing. I hope it’s not too bad!

————————————

When I woke up yesterday morning, or rather noon, I had no idea what would happen. If I had, I would’ve stayed in bed, that’s for sure. But being clueless about what fate or the universe had planned, I had gotten up being already exited to meet Paul again.

It was kinda weird at first when he showed up at school again, all buff and suddenly best friends with Jared Cameron, after disappearing for a few weeks and then starting to talk to me out of nowhere. I was cautious and puzzled of course, cause I mean he is Paul Lahote, really popular with the girls and admittedly extremely good looking even before disappearing. I had been two hundred percent sure that he was trying to win a bet or just playing with me for fun because I’m a grey mouse so there was no way he could’ve been serious with me. But he ignored both my polite and not so polite rejections and one day even some of his friends - the Uley cult had gained recruits over the weeks - talked to me about how Paul’s intentions are serious and how I really should give him a chance to prove that he’s actually a nice guy.

And eventually that’s what I did. When he had asked me yet again to hang out with him and his friends at the beach, I said yes. I was honestly glad that he didn’t plan to hang out alone with me because that way awkward silence would’ve been guaranteed. It didn’t make me less nervous though, I was shaking and my stomach was turning on my way to the beach. But that afternoon was really nice. Paul actually seemed like a good person and his friends were really nice too and they all had a great humor. When it was time for me to go Paul had insisted on walking me home. I felt so comfortable at his side, it was kind of strange. I’m usually bad at making friends or talking to strangers and I’m also really shy but when Paul asked me about my favorite color, hobby etc while we were walking, talking to him was as easy as breathing. And when he hugged me good night at the end, it felt like I had found the place where I belong, right in his arms.

I also noticed that his temperature was really high but when I asked him if he was having a fever he just chuckled and went after wishing me a good night again.

Falling asleep wasn’t hard that night.

After that day I sat with him and the others during lunch and we hung out almost every other day. Strangely I wouldn’t have minded to spend every day with him but as strong as the connection to him felt, I didn’t want to let that happen even though at that point if had already happened. I had fallen for him. I played it down as not wanting to fall behind in school but I was just lying to myself.

As soon as I couldn’t deny anymore that I had feelings for Paul Lahote, I became that shy grey mouse around him again. I couldn’t look at him, I stuttered when talking to him and when we were alone for even just a few seconds I had a billion butterflies flying around my stomach.

It didn’t take him long to notice my sudden change in behavior. But instead of making a joke about me having a stick up my ass or something like I had expected, he asked me if I was okay with a serious voice and concerned glance. It took me by surprise and had me starring into his eyes.

“Y/N?”, he asked again, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing”, I replied while a smile creeped its way onto my face.

It had taken just his eyes to calm me down and I felt like I was home again.

He smiled back at me and his eyes shot to my lips for a brief second before quickly wandering back to my eyes. That’s when I realized how close our faces were. He placed his hand at my face cupping my cheek and then leaned closer his gaze not leaving my eyes as if he was searching for my permission in them. With a sudden wave of courage overcoming me, I closed the remaining space between us and met his lips with mine.

The kiss was soft, pure and innocent - the complete opposite of Paul. It felt like eternity but when it was over I wanted more of that feeling of warmth, comfort and love that the kiss had given me.

Since that day we met every single day and he couldn’t stop pulling me into his lap during lunch and plastering my face with hundreds of tiny kisses. I didn’t mind it at all though. I felt like I was in heaven and he seemed to have pink glasses on too. The guys constantly teased him about being totally whipped but he just showed them the finger and grinned at me as if he had won the lottery.

I was so damn happy.

I didn’t think about myself as a weird and rather ugly looking girl anymore. He brought out the funny and confident side of me. I felt beautiful and he didn’t stop telling me so too.

But of course the carefree rainbow-fairy time had to come to an end sooner or later.

Paul had invited me to a bonfire taking place yesterday evening at which Billy Black and other tribe members - Quil’s grandpa and Leah’s and Seth’s mom - would tell the tribe legends. It seemed to be rather important to him. But I had no worries going with him to the bonfire, it had sounded like a nice night spend with the guys eating hot dogs and listening to stories.

When we got there Jake was chasing Embry who had a hot dog up in his hand, Leah shoved Seth off the log they were sitting and laughed at him and Jared and Kim as well as Emily and Sam were cuddled up in each other’s arms. It was typical night.

We greeted everyone and soon all were settled on the ground around the bonfire eating and waiting for Jake’s dad to begin. I noticed how everybody got serious and paid all their attention to him although Paul glanced down at me every now and then. I just smiled at him and ignored his glances afterwards to listen to the legend of the quileute tribe.

I was fascinated and completely caught up in the story about the shape shifters and also the one about the second wife.

It was magical.

After Billy finished talking everyone slowly started to chat quietly with each other again.

Paul turned to face me, “Come take a walk with me, Y/N.”

We were quietly walking along a path at the edge of the woods, hand in hand. He seemed a bit nervous, putting his free hand in the pocket of his cut-off shorts only to pull it out again three seconds later and biting on his lower lip.

“So, uh Y/N … and what do you think about the legends?”, he asked while rubbing the back of his neck.

“They’re fascinating! I know it sounds a bit strange but the way Billy told them made me feel like I was actually there too.”

I stopped walking and turned to face him.

“Thank you so much for inviting me, Paul. I really enjoyed the bonfire”, I told him with a beaming smile on my face.

He grinned at me and leaned down to kiss me.

Every time he kisses me, I feel electrified as if his lips would send sparks right through mine, rushing through my body within nanoseconds. Kissing him still feels like it’s the fist time and I hardly doubt I’ll ever get used to it.

His one hand wandered to my neck while he put the other one on my lower back to pull me closer to him. I couldn’t help letting my hands wander up his back, feeling all the muscles, to his head and clinging to his short hair. That action made him groan into the kiss and intensify it which made my cheeks heat up and probably left me looking like a tomato.

He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine.

“I love you, Y/N, so damn much”, he whispered softly after he had stopped panting.

It was the first time he said these three words and it caught me a bit off guard but it also made me the happiest person alive.

“I love you too, Paul.”

He seemed relieved and let out a nervous chuckle.

“There’s something I wanted to tell you, but please don’t freak out, okay?”

I just nodded, confused about the changed topic.

“The legend Billy just told - the tribe members shifting into wolves - it’s true, Y/N. Me and the guys are shapeshifters.”

Everything after he said that is a blur. Me telling him he’s crazy and that I don’t believe him. Then Paul saying he’s gonna show me and turning into a fucking big dog.

I’m sure I’ve never run faster than after I snapped out of the initial shock. I ran back to the bonfire and quickly grabbed my bag with my door keys in it. But when I turned around to run home I almost bumped into Paul. He begged me to calm down and stay with him but I screamed at him.

“Stay the fuck away from me!”

The others have noticed the scene by now and jogged to us.

Sam spoke up: “Y/N, we’re not going to hurt you. You don’t need to be afraid.”

“I don’t need to be afraid?! Oh I’m sorry but my boyfriend turning into a huge wolf isn’t something I see everyday, you know”, I was so scared that I was shaking like crazy and I felt like I’d start to cry any second, “And now I’m going home and none of you better follow me.”

I turned around and started walking.

After a few steps I heard Sam whispering something like “Give her some time” before hearing someone jogging up to me. I quickened my pace but I got stopped by an all too familiar warm hand on my shoulder.

“Y/N, please, -”, Paul sounded like he was about to cry too and it made my heart ache but I chose to ignore it.

“Do not touch me”, I whispered. I backed away from his hand and couldn’t stop a small sob from escaping my trembling lips.

I didn’t look him in the face - I couldn’t - and simply started to quickly walk home again.

He didn’t follow me.

When I had finally arrived at home I couldn’t hold the tears anymore. Thank god my parents were out for the weekend at some sort of spa place.

I was bawling my eyes out while sitting on the floor in my room and I felt like I was drowning, like I couldn’t breath properly.

After what felt like hours the sobs got less and less until they eventually stopped altogether but the tears still made their way down my cheeks.

I mindlessly stood up and walked downstairs through the front door aiming for the beach.

So now I’m sitting in the dark a few hours after having my world turned upside down. I’m shivering in the cold with only my hoodie and a pair of jeans on but I honestly don’t care. I finally calmed down, the tears dried and my lungs are free again, breathing the cold and clear ocean air in deeply.

The water’s calm too. The waves don’t hit the cliffs with a powerful force right now like they did a few days ago but more like they’re carefully embracing them only to be slowly pulled back again.

Everything’s quite. There’s no sound but the wind through the trees from the forest. The night sky is clear too, without any clouds covering the brightly shining stars hanging up high. The stars are mesmerizing and they promptly remind me of Paul’s eyes.

They’re dark brown like the barks of the trees and I every time I lock my eyes with his I nearly lose myself in them.

I begin to feel guilt crippling up on me.

Paul didn’t choose this.

Paul didn’t hurt me. He never would.

I should’ve stayed.

Why did I run away?

“Y/N?”

My thoughts were interrupted by Paul’s soft and deep voice. My heart skips a beat not having heard him coming near.

“Why are you sitting here? You’re going to catch a cold”, he says cautiously like he’s afraid I might get up and run from him again.

“Here, let me bring you ho-”

“I love you.”

He stares at me shocked.

“I love you, Paul, and I’m so sorry for just running off earlier. I j-just … I-”

The sobs as well as the tears

are back again but now Paul pulls me in his arms and holds me tightly.

“Shh, it’s fine. Hey, look at me.”

He places his hands on the sides of my face and makes me look in his eyes. He gives me a light peck on my forehead.

“I love you too.”

He leans down and his lips meet mine. The kiss is rather short but it’s all it needed to comfort me. To reassure me I’m home right there in his arms.

“More than anything.”

------------------------------

A/N: Feedback/ criticism would be amazing!

[formidablepassion]

Fuck 2017! Bring on 2018!

This is pretty personal, but I’m putting it here anyway. It’s under a cut so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want.

So 2017 was a really shitty year for me. I spent 40 of the 52 weeks in school, that really wasn’t that shitty. In fact it got me closer to my goal of graduating. I’ll be graduating on May 4th, 2018 with my A.A. in Psychology. 

Skipping every little thing the one big thing that really made the last year shitty was my mother. Not her specifically. In January of 2017 she started getting really sick. It took months and months to try to get her better. Once the doctors and all of us thought she was getting better, she got worse.  Then eventually it got so bad my dad took her to the ER in August. She was there for almost two weeks. 

My father left her in August as well. Do not think ill of my father for doing so. They were married for forty years. My father is a gay man and after forty years of marriage, three children, and seven grandchildren he finally needed to be true to himself. The timing may not have been ideal, but the timing would probably never have been ideal. 

After that my oldest brother and I did our best to care for my mother. The responsibility fell mostly on him though. I lived almost 30 minutes away, am a full time college student and have five kids (1-16) that take up most of my time. So I hadn’t realized how bad her health got, my brother hadn’t either since my mom would be stubborn and lie to him. 

October second my mother went to the ER again. I met her there just in time to have them transfer her to a different hospital an hour away. 

One week later my mother was gone. I had to make the call to pull life support.

Everything spiraled from that. Her siblings and their kids and grand kids decided to show their true colors. Blaming my brother and I for killing our mother when they had no proof. Her brother and sister wanted to fight with me about everything. 

There was public bashing and shaming of my father and brothers, and even my sister in law on facebook. Until I went on and set the record straight (I never go on facebook anymore, but the threats and accusations forced my hand). 

From there I had missed several midterms to handle everything and then could barely focus in school (I ended up failing on of my classes because of it). 

Let’s go over the good things though shall we?

I managed to get through it all. That is the most important part. 

My son played soccer for the first time and even though we found out that it wasn’t for him, he had a great time while doing it. 

Oh I finally got a fit bit (it’s the little things, yeah?). Also finally got a gym membership. (Remind me to go frequently)

I won @spncoldesthits in October (it was a fantastic distraction from my mother’s death) and I’m going to call it that I won December too even if it hasn’t been officially announced. 

I met some incredible people in my Bonded Through Sin group including my twin @helvonasche @when-the-day-met-the-night @madamelibrarian @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell  My twin and Min helped me so much the night my mother died. I was able to get on a call with them and talk with them through the almost hour drive home when I was all alone in the car. Thank you, so much. You mean so much to me.

I have become incredibly attached to my friends in my meta group. You all know who you are, you’re fantastic, I love you and I don’t know what I would do without you. We talk almost daily and I share more with you than I do anyone in meat space. You’re all amazing people and I care deeply for you.

Back in December 2016 @buffenator messaged me out of the blue to ask if I wanted to go to DC Con, she had an extra Gold Panel ticket if I wanted to buy it. Since I had literally just been speaking with @jhoomwrites about going to DC Con I obviously immediately text her and we made plans for her to go too.  

So after almost a year of planning one month to the day after my mother died I found myself on a plan at crazy o’clock in the morning on my way to go to Supernatural DC Con. Where I finally met the amazing people I hold close and consider my friends @buffenator @whataboutthefish @paperannxo and shared a room with them. I also was able to meet @jhoomwrites @idatheactivist (she did a fantastic job working the camera in the panel room!) and I met @jelyba-pants and became fast friends with her (we are going to Pitt Con  and Van Con together!). I also met a handful of other amazing people there that I don’t know here on tumblr but they were all amazing. 

I guess I also got to meet the stars too. I was a cool little cucumber through all of it. Okay all except for any time I was near Misha. And Darius.  Was completely unaffected by Jensen and Jared, absolutely fucking adore Kim and Emily (went to the PJ party and since Briana was filming Emily stepped in for her). It was an amazing experience that was completely worth it. I got so close to Mark S. when he was doing his panel. I really wanted to reach out and touch him. I am still kicking myself for not getting more than one photo op with him. I also found out his shoe size. But that’s... a different story. 

That? Was my highlight. It was literally the best thing to happen to me in 2017. 

I wrote a a rough estimate of 87k words this year. 6,418 of them were written tonight when I was trying to finish one of my WIPs that I started and hadn’t updated since April 2016. But that is finished! So that is also a good thing. 

Also a good thing, that I wish could have happened under better circumstances, I re-connected with some of my family. The ones that are actually worth calling family. It happened under terrible circumstances, but I’m so happy that I was able to see them again and rebuild a relationship with them. 

So here’s to you 2018. I welcome you with open arms. I am ready to kick it in the ass. I am ready to see what you have in store for all of us. 2017 has set the bar pretty fucking low, so unless you start off by killing Betty White, you should do okay.

[gaysparklepires]

11. Legends

“Are you gonna eat that hot dog?” Paul asked Jacob, his eyes locked on the last remnant of the huge meal the werewolves had consumed.

Jacob leaned back against my knees and toyed with the hot dog he had spitted on a straightened wire hanger; the flames at the edge of the bonfire licked along it’s blistered skin. He heaved a sigh and patted his stomach. It was somehow still flat, though I’d lost count of how many hot dogs he’d eaten after his tenth. Not to mention the super-sized bag of chips or the two-liter bottle of root beer.

“I guess,” Jake said slowly. “I’m so full I’m about to puke. But I think I can force it down. I won’t enjoy it at all, though.” He sighed again sadly.

Despite the fact that Paul had eaten at least as much as Jacob, he glowered and his hands balled up into fists.

“Sheesh.” Jacob laughed. “Kidding, Paul. Here.”

He flipped the homemade skewer across the circle. I expected it to land hot-dog-first in the sand, but Paul caught it neatly on the right end without difficulty.

Hanging out with no one but extremely dexterous people all the time was going to give me a complex.

“Thanks, man,” Paul said, already over his brief fit of temper.

The fire crackled, settling lower toward the sand. Sparks flew up in a sudden puff of brilliant orange against the black sky. Funny, I hadn’t noticed that the sun had set. For the first time, I wondered how late it had gotten. I’d lost track of time completely.

It was easier being with my Quileute friends than I’d expected.

While Jacob and I had dropped off my bikes at the garage—and he had admitted ruefully that the helmet was a good idea and he should have thought of it himself—I’d started to worry about showing up with him at the bonfire, wondering if the werewolves would consider me a traitor now. Would they be angry for inviting me? Would I ruin the party?

But when Jacob had towed me out of the forest to the clifftop meeting place—where the fire already roared brighter than the cloud obscured sun—it had all been very casual and light.

“Hey, vampire boy!” Embry had greeted me loudly. Quil had jumped up to high give and kiss me on the cheek. Emily had squeezed my hand when we’d sat on the cool stone ground beside her and Sam.

Other than a few teasing complaints—mostly by Paul—about keeping the bloodsucker stench downwind, I was treated like someone who belonged.

It wasn’t just kids in attendance, either. Billy was here, his wheelchair stationed at what seemed to be the natural head of the circle. Beside him on a folding lawn chair, looking quite brittle, was Quil’s ancient, white-haired grandfather, Old Quil. Sue Clearwater, widow of Charlie’s friend Harry, had a chair on his other side; her two boys, Liam and Seth, were also there, sitting on the ground like the rest of us. This surprised me, but all three were clearly in on the secret now. From the way Billy and Old Quil spoke to Sue, it sounded like she’d taken Harry’s place on the council. Did that make her children automatic members of La Push’s most secret society?

I wondered how horrible it was for Liam to sit across the circle from Sam and Emily. His handsome face betrayed no emotion, but he never looked away from the flames. Looking at the perfection of Liam’s features, I couldn’t help but compare them to Emily’s ruined face. What did Liam think of Emily’s scars, now that he knew the truth behind them? Did it seem like justice in his eyes?

Little Seth Clearwater wasn’t so little anymore. With his huge, happy grin and his long, gangly build, he reminded me very much of a younger Jacob. The resemblance made me smile, and then sigh. Was Seth doomed to have his life change as drastically as the rest of these boys? Was Liam? Was that future why they were allowed to be here?

The whole pack was there: Sam with his Emily, Paul, Embry, Quil, and Jared with Kim, his girlfriend.

My impression of Kim was that she was a nice girl, a little shy, maybe. She was pretty, if not a bit average looking. Nothing about her stood out to me at first, but after a few hours of watching Jared watch Kim, I could no longer find anything average about the girl.

The way he stared at her! It was like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. Like a collector finding an undiscovered Da Vinci, like a mother looking into the face of her newborn child.

His wondering eyes made me see new things about her—how her skin looked like russet-colored silk in the firelight, how the shape of her lips was a perfect double curve, how white her teeth were against them, how long her eyelashes were, brushing her cheek when she looked down.

Kim’s skin sometimes darkened when she met Jared’s awed gaze, and her eyes would drop as if in embarrassment, but she had a hard time keeping her eyes away from his for any length of time.

Watching them, I couldn’t help but wondered if that was how Edward looked at me, or even—maybe—if that was how Jacob looked at me.

Kim was nodding off now against Jared’s chest, his arms around her. I imagined she would be very warm there.

“It’s getting late,” I whispered to Jacob.

“Don’t start that yet,” Jacob whispered back—though certainly half the group here had hearing sensitive enough to hear us anyway. “The best part is coming.”

“What’s the best part? You swallowing an entire cow whole?”

Jacob chuckled his low, throaty laugh. “No. That’s the finale. We didn’t meet just to eat through a week’s worth of food. This is technically a council meeting. It’s Quill’s first time, and he hasn’t heard the stories yet. Well, he’s heard them, but this will be the first time he knows they’re true. That tends to make a guy pay closer attention. Kim and Seth and Liam are all first-timers, too.”

“Stories?”

Jacob scooted back beside me, where I rested against a low ridge of rock. He put his arm over my shoulder and spoke even lower into my ear.

“The histories we always thought were legends,” he said. “The stories of how we came to be. The first is the story of the spirit warriors.”

It was almost as if Jacob’s soft whisper was the introduction. The atmosphere changed abruptly around the low-burning fire. Paul and Embry sat up straighter. Jared nudged Kim and then pulled her gently upright.

Emily produced a spiral-bound notebook and pen, looking exactly like a student set for an important lecture. Sam twisted just slightly beside her—so that he was facing the same direction as Old Quil, who was on his other side—and suddenly I realized that the elders of the council here were not three, but four in number.

Liam Clearwater, his face still a handsome and emotionless mask, closed his eyes—not like he was tired, but as if to help his concentration. His brother leaned in toward the elders eagerly.

The fire crackled, sending another explosion of sparks glittering up against the night.

Billy cleared his throat, and, with no more introduction than his son’s whisper, began telling the story in his rich, deep voice. The words poured out with precision, as if he knew them by heart, but also with feeling and a subtle rhythm. Like poetry performed by its author.

“The Quileutes have been a small people from the beginning,” Billy said. “And we are a small people still, but we have never disappeared. This is because there has always been magic in our blood. It wasn’t always the magic of shape-shifting—that came later. First, we were spirit warriors.”

Never before had I recognized the ring of majesty that was in Billy Black’s voice, though I realized now that this authority had always been there.

Emily’s pen sprinted across the sheets of paper as she tried to keep up with him.

“In the beginning, the tribe settled in this harbor and became skilled ship builders and fishermen. But the tribe was small, and the harbor was rich in fish. There were others who coveted our land, and we were too small to hold it. A larger tribe moved against us, and we took to our ships to escape them.

“Kaheleha was not the first spirit warrior, but we do not remember the stories that came before his. We do not remember who was the first to discover this power, or how it had been used before this crisis. Kaheleha was the first great Spirit Chief in our history. In this emergency, Kaheleha used the magic to defend our land.

“He and all his warriors left the ship—not their bodies, but their spirits. Their women watched over the bodies and the waves, and the men took their spirits back to our harbor.

“They could not physically touch the enemy tribe, but they had other ways. The stories tell us that they could blow fierce winds into their enemy’s camps; they could make a great screaming in the wind that terrified their foes. The stories also tell us that the animals could see the spirit warriors and understand them; the animals would do their bidding.

“Kaheleha took his spirit army and wreaked havoc on the intruders. This invading tribe had packs of big, thick-furred dogs that they used to pull their sleds in the frozen north. The spirit warriors turned the dogs against their master and then brought a mighty infestation of bats up from the cliff caverns. They used the screaming wind to aid the dogs in confusing the men. The dogs and the bats won. The survivors scattered, calling our harbor a cursed place. The dogs ran wild when the spirit warriors released them. The Quileutes returned to their bodies and their families, victorious.

“The other nearby tribes, the Hohs and the Makahs, made treaties with the Quileutes. They wanted nothing to do with our magic. We lived in peace with them. When an enemy came against us, the spirit warriors would drive them off.

“Generations passed. Then came the last great Spirit Chief, Taha Aki. He was known for his wisdom, and for being a man of peace. The people lived well and content in his care.

“But there was one man, Utlapa, who was not content.”

A low hiss ran around the fire. I was too slow to see where it came from. Billy ignored it and went on with the legend.

“Utlapa was one of Chief Taha Aki’s strongest spirit warriors—a powerful man, but a grasping man, too. He thought the people should use their magic to expand their lands, to enslave the Hohs and the Makahs and build an empire.

“Now, when the warriors were their spirit selves, they knew each other’s thoughts. Taha Aki saw what Utlapa dreamed, and was angry with Utlapa. Utlapa was commanded to leave the people, and never use his spirit self again. Utlapa was a strong man, but the chief’s warriors outnumbered him. He had no choice but to leave. The furious outcast hid in the forest nearby, waiting for a chance to get revenge against the chief.

“Even in times of peace, the Spirit Chief was vigilant in protecting his people. Often, he would go to a sacred, secret place in the mountains. He would leave his body behind and sweep down through the forests and along the coast, making sure no threat approached.

“One day when Taha Aki left to perform his duty, Utlapa followed. At first, Utlapa simply planned to kill the thief, but his plan had its drawbacks. Surely the spirit warrior would seek to destroy him, and they could follow faster than he could escape. As he hid in the rocks and watched the chief prepare to leave his body, another plan occurred to him.

“Taha Aki left his body in the secret place and flew with the winds to keep watch over his people. Utlapa waited until he was sure the chief had traveled some distance with his spirit self.

“Taha Aki knew it the instant Utlapa had joined him in the spirit world, and he also knew Utlapa’s murderous plan. He raced back to his secret place, but even the winds weren’t fast enough to save him. When he returned, his body was already gone. Utlapa’s body lay abandoned, but Utlapa had not left Taha Aki with an escape—he had cut his own body’s throat with Taha Aki’s hands.

“Taha Aki followed his body down the mountain. He screamed at Utlapa, but Utlapa ignored him as if he were the wind.

“Taha Aki watched with despair as Utlapa took his place as chief of the Quileutes. For a few weeks, Utlapa did nothing but make sure that everyone believed he was Taha Aki. Then the changes began—Utlapa’s first edict was to forbid any warrior to enter the spirit world. He claimed that he’d had a vision of danger, but really he was afraid. He knew that Taha Aki would be waiting for the chance to tell his story. Utlapa was also afraid to enter the spirit world himself, knowing Taha Aki would quickly claim his body. So his dreams of conquest with a spirit warrior army were impossible, and he sought to content himself with ruling over the tribe. He became a burden—seeking privileges that Taha Aki had never requested, refusing to work alongside his warriors, taking a young second wife and then a third, though Taha Aki’s wife lived on—something unheard of in the tribe. Taha Aki watched in helpless fury.

“Eventually, Taha Aki tried to kill his body to save the tribe from Utlapa’s excesses. He brought a fierce wolf down from the mountains, but Utlapa hid behind his warriors. When the wolf killed a young man who was protecting the false chief, Taha Aki felt horrible grief. He ordered the wolf away.

“All the stories tell us that it was no easy thing to be a spirit warrior. It was more frightening than exhilarating to be freed from one’s body. This is why they only used their magic in times of need. The chief’s solitary journeys to keep watch were a burden and a sacrifice. Being bodiless was disorienting, uncomfortable, horrifying. Taha Aki had been away from his body for so long at this point that he was in agony. He felt he was doomed—never to cross over to the final land where his ancestors waited, stuck in this torturous nothingness forever.

The great wolf followed Taha Aki’s spirit as he twisted and writhed in agony through the woods. The wolf was very large for its kind, and beautiful. Taha Aki was suddenly jealous of the magnificent animal. At least it had a body. At least it had a life. Even life as an animal would be better than this horrible empty consciousness.

“And then the great wolf changed us all. The wolf opened itself up to share with Taha Aki. Overwhelmed with gratitude, Taha Aki entered the wolf’s body with relief. It was not his human body, but it was better than the void of the spirit world and the spirit of the great wolf gave him its strength and power.

As one, the man and the wolf returned to the village on the harbor. He retreated slowly from them, speaking with his eyes and trying to yelp the songs of his people. The warriors began to realize that the wolf was no ordinary animal, that there was a spirit influencing it. One older warrior, a man named Yut, decided to disobey the false chief’s order and try to communicate with the wolf.

“As soon as Yut crossed to the spirit world, Taha Aki left the wolf—the animal waited tamely for his return—to speak to him. Yut gathered the truth in an instant, and welcomed his true chief home.

“At this time, Utlapa came to see if the the wolf had been defeated. When he saw Yut lying lifeless on the ground, surrounded by protective warriors, he realized what was happening. He drew his knife and raced forward to kill Yut before he could return to his body.

“’Traitor,’ he screamed, and the warriors did not know what to do. The chief had forbidden spirit journeys, and it was the chief’s decision how to punish those who disobeyed.

“Yut jumped back into his body, but Utlapa had his knife at his throat and a hand covering his mouth. Taha Aki’s body was strong, and Yut was weak with age. Yut could not say even one word to warn the others before Utlapa silenced him forever.

“Taha Aki watched as Yut’s spirit slipped away to the final lands that were barred to Taha Aki for all eternity. He felt a great rage, more powerful than anything he’d felt before. He entered the big wolf again, meaning to rip Utlapas throat out, But, as he joined the wolf, the greatest magic happened.

“Taha Aki’s anger was the anger of a man. The love he had for his people and the hatred he had for their oppressor were too vast for the wolf’s body, too human. The wolf shuddered, and—before the eyes of the shocked warriors and Utlapa—transformed into a man.

“The new man did not look like Taha Aki’s body. He was far more glorious. He was the flesh interpretation of Taha Aki’s spirit. The warriors recognized him at once, though, for they had flown with Taha Aki’s spirit.

“Utlapa tried to run, but Taha Aki had the strength of the wolf in his new body. He caught the thief and crushed the spirit from him before he could jump out of the stolen body.

“The people rejoiced when they understood what had happened. Taha Aki quicly set everything right, working again with his people and giving the young wives back to their families. The only change he kept in place was the end of the spirit travels. He knew that it was too dangerous now that the idea of stealing a life was there. The spirit warriors were no more.

“From that point on, Taha Aki was more than either wolf or man. They called him Taha Aki the Great Wolf. He led the tribe for many, many years, for he did not age. When danger threatened, he would resume his wolf-self to fight or frighten the enemy. The people dwelt in peace. Taha Aki fathered many sons, and some of these found that, after they had reached the age of manhood, they, too, could transform into wolves. The wolves were all different, because they were spirit wolves and reflected the man they were inside.”

“So that’s why Sam is all black,” Quil muttered under his breath, grinning. “Black heart, black fur.”

I was so involved in the story, it was a shock to come back to the present, to the circle around the dying fire. With another shock, I realized that the circle was made up of Taha Aki’s great—to however many degrees—grandsons.

The fire threw a volley of sparks into the sky, and they shivered and danced, making shapes that were almost decipherable.

“And your chocolate fur reflects what?” Sam whispered back to Quil. “How sweet you are?”

Billy ignored their jibes. “Some of the sons became warriors with Taha Aki, and they no longer aged. Otheres, who did not like the transformation, refused to join the pack of wolf-men. These began to age again, and the tribe discovered that the wolf-men could grow old like anyone else if they gave up their spirit wolves. Taha Aki had lived the span of three old men’s lives. He had married a third wife after the deaths of the first two, and found in her his true spirit wife. Though he had loved the others, this was something else. He decided to give up his spirit wolf so that he would die when she did.

“This is how magic came to us, but it is not the end of the story…”

He looked at Old Quil Ateara, who shifted in his chair, straightening his frail shoulders. Billy took a drink from a bottle of water and wiped his forehead. Emily’s pen never hesitated as she scribbled furiously on the paper.

“That was the story of the spirit warriors,” Old Quil began in a thin tenor voice. “This is the story of the third wife’s sacrifice.

“Many years after Taha Aki gave up his spirit wolf, when he was an old man, trouble began in the north, with the Makahs. Several young women of their tribe had disappeared, and they blamed it on the neighboring wolves, who they feared and mistrusted. The wolf-men could still read each other’s thoughts while in their wolf forms, just like their ancestors had while in their spirit forms. They knew that none of their number was to blame. Taha Aki tried to pacify the Makah chief, but there was too much fear. Taha Aki did not want to have a war on his hands. He was no longer a warrior to lead his people. He charged his oldest wolf-son, Taha Wi, with finding the true culprit before hostilities began.

“Taha Wi led the five other wolves in his pack on a search through the mountains, looking for any evidence of the missing Makahs. They came across something they had never encountered before—a strange, sweet scent in the forest that burned their noses to the point of pain.”

I shrank closer to Jacob’s side. I saw the corner of his mouth twitch, and his arm tightened around me.

“They did not know what creature would leave such a scent, but they followed it,” Old Quil continued. His quavering voice did not have the majesty of Billy’s, but it had a strange, fierce edge of urgency about it. My pulse jumped as his words came faster.

“They found faint traces of human scent, and human blood, along the trail. They were sure this was the enemy they were searching for.

“The journey took them so far north that Taha Wi sent half the pack, the younger ones, back to the harbor to report to Taha Aki.

“Taha Wi and his two brothers did not return.

“The younger brothers searched for their elders, but found only silence. Taha Aki mourned for his sons. He wished to avenge his sons’ death, but he was old. He went to the Makah chief in his mourning clothes and told him everything that had happened. The Makah chief believed his friend, and tensions ended between the tribes.

“A year later, two Makah maidens disappeared from their homes on the same night. The Makah’s called on the Quileute wolves at once, who found the same sweet stink all through the Makah village. The wolves went on the hunt again.

“Only one came back. He was Yaha Uta, the oldest son of Taha Aki’s third wife, and the youngest in the pack. He brought something with him that had never been seen in all the days of the Quileautes—a strange, cold, stony corpse that he carried in pieces. All who were of Taha Aki’s blood, even those who had never been wolves, could smell the piercing smell of the dead creature. This was the enemy of the Makahs.

“Yaha Uta described what had happened: he and his brothers had found the creature, who looked like a man but was hard as a granite rock, with the two Makah daughters. One girl was already dead, white and bloodless on the ground. The other was in the creature’s arms, his mouth at her throat. She may have been alive when they came upon the hideous scene, but the creature quickly snapped her neck and tossed her lifeless body to the ground when they approached. His white lips were covered in her blood, and his eyes glowed red.

“Yaha Uta described the fierce strength and speed of the creature. One of his brothers quickly became a victim when he underestimated that strength. The creature ripped him apart like a doll. Yaha Uta and his older brother were more wary. They worked together, coming at the creature from the sides, outmaneuvering it. They had to reach the very limits of their wolf strength and speed, something that had never been tested before. The creature was hard as stone and cold as ice. They found that only their teeth could damage it. They began to rip small pieces of the creature apart while it fought them.

“But the creature learned quickly, and soon was matching their maneuvers. It got its hands on Yaha Uta’s brother. Yaha Uta found an opening on the creature’s throat and he lunged. His teeth tore the head off the creature, but the hands continued to mangle his brother.

“Yaha Uta ripped the creature into unrecognizable chunks, tearing pieces apart in a desperate attempt to save his brother. He was too late, but, in the end, the creature was destroyed.

“Or so they thought. Yaha Uta laid the reeking remains out to be examined by the elders. One severed hand lay beside a piece of the creature’s granite arm. The two pieces touched when the elders poked them with sticks, and the hand reached out towards the arm piece, trying to reassemble itself.

“Horrified, the elders set fire to the remains. A great cloud of choking, vile smoke polluted the air. When there was nothing but ashes, they separated the ashes into many small bags and spread them far and wide—some in the ocean, some in the forest, some in the cliff caverns. Taha Aki wore one bag around his neck, so he would be warned if the creature ever tried to put himself together again.”

Old Quil paused and looked at Billy. Billy pulled out a leather cord from around his neck. Hanging from the end was a small bag, blackened with age. A few people gasped. I might have been one of them.

“They called it The Cold One, the Blood Drinker, and lived in fear that it was not alone. They only had one wolf protector left, young Yaha Uta.

“They did not have long to wait. The Cold Man was not alone, he had a mate, another blood drinker, who came to the Quileutes seeking revenge.

“The stories say that the Cold Woman was the most beautiful thing human eyes had ever seen. She looked like the goddess of the dawn when she entered the village that morning; the sun was shining for once, and it glittered off her white skin and lit the golden hair that flowed down to her knees. Her face was magical in its beauty, her eyes black in her white face. Some fell to their knees to worship her.

“She asked something in a high, piercing voice, in a language no one had ever heard. The people were dumbfounded, not knowing how to answer her. There was none of Taha Aki’s blood among the witnesses but one small boy. He clung to his mother and screamed that the smell was hurting his nose. One of the elders, on his way to council, heard the boy and realized what had come among them. He yelled for the people to run. She killed him first.

“There were twenty witnesses to the Cold Woman’s approach. Two survived, only because she grew distracted by the blood, and paused to sate her thirst. They ran to Taha Aki, who sat in counsel with the other elders, his sons, and his third wife.

“Yaha Uta transformed into his spirit wolf as soon as he heard the news. He went to destroy the blood drinker alone. Taha Aki, his third wife, his sons, and his elders followed behind him.

“At first they could not find the creature, only the evidence of her attack. Bodies lay broken, a few drained of blood, strewn across the road where she’d appeared. Then they heard the screams and hurried to the harbor.

“A handful of the Quileautes had run to the ships for refuge. She swam after them like a shark, and broke the bow of their boat with her incredible strength. When the ship sank, she caught those trying to swim away and broke them, too.

“She saw the great wolf on the shore, and she forgot the fleeing swimmers. She swam so fast she was a blur and came, dripping and glorious, to stand before Yaha Uta. She pointed at him with one white finger and asked another incomprehensible question. Yaha Uta waited.

“It was a close fight. She was not the warrior her mate had been. But Yaha Uta was alone—there was no one to distract her fury from him.

“When Yaha Uta lost, Taha Aki screamed in defiance. He limped forward and shifted into an ancient, white-muzzled wolf. The wolf was old, but this was Taha Aki the Great Wolf, and his rage made him strong. The fight began again.

“Taha Aki’s third wife had just seen her son die before her. Now her husband fought, and she had no hope that he could win. She’d heard every word the witnesses to the slaughter had told the council.

“The third wife was no magical being, with no special powers but one; courage. She grabbed a knife from the belt of one of the sons who stood beside her. They were all young sons, not yet men, and she knew they would die when their father failed.

“The third wife ran toward the Cold Woman with the dagger raised high. The Cold Woman smiled, barely distracted from her fight with the old wolf. She had no fear of the weak human woman or the knife that would not even scratch her skin, and she was about to deliver the death blow to Taha Aki.

“And then the third wife did something the Cold Woman did not expect. She fell to her knees at the blood drinker’s feet and plunged the knife into her own heart.

“Blood spurted through the thid wife’s fingers and splashed against the Cold Women. The blood drinker could not resist the lure of the fresh blood leaving the thurd wife’s body. Instinctively, she turned to the dying woman, for one second entirely consumed by thirst.

“Taha Aki’s teeth closed around her neck.

“That was not the end of the ight, but Taha Aki was not alone now. Watching their mother die, the two young sons felt such rage that they sprang forth as their spirit wolves, though they were not yet men. With their father, they finished the creature.

“Taha Aki never rejoined the tribe. He never changed back to a man again. He lay for one day beside the body of the third wife, growling whenever anyone tried to touch her, and then he went into the forest and never returned.

“Trouble with the cold ones was rare from that time on. Taha Aki’s sons guarded the tribe until their sons were old enough to take their places. There were never more than three wolves at a time. It was enough. Occasionally a blood drinker would come through these lands, but they were taken by surprise, not expecting the wolves. Sometimes a wolf would die, but never were they decimated again like that first time. They’d learned how to fight the cold ones, and they passed the knowledge on, wolf mind to wolf mind, spirit to spirit, father to son.

“Time passed, and the descendents of Taha Aki no longer became wolves when they reached manhood. Only in a great while, if a cold one was near, would the wolves return. The cold ones always came in ones and twos, and the pack stayed small.

“A bigger coven came, and your own great-grandfathers prepared to fight them off. But the leader spoke to Ephraim Black as if he were a man, and promised not to harm the Quileutes. His strange yellow eyes gave some proof to his claim that they were not the same as other blood drinkers. The wolves were outnumbered; there was no need for the cold ones to offer a treaty when they could have won the fight. Ephraim accepted. They’ve stayed true to their side, though their presence does tend to draw in others.

“And their numbers have forced a larger pack than the tribe has ever seen,” Old Quil said, and for one moment his black eyes, all but buried in the wrinkles of skin folded around them, seemed to rest on me. “Except, of course, in Taha Aki’s time,” he said, and then he sighed. “And so the sons of our tribe again carry the burden and share the sacrifice their fathers endured before them.”

All was silent for a long moment. The living descendents of magic and legend stared at one another across the fire with sadness in their eyes. All but one.

“Burden,” he scoffed in a low voice. “I think it’s cool.” Quil’s full lower lip pouted out a little bit.

Across the dying fire, Seth Clearwater—his eyes wide with adulation for the fraternity of tribal protectors—nodded his agreement.

Billy chuckled, low and long, and the magic seemed to fade into the glowing embers. Suddenly, it was just a circle of friends again. Jared flicked a small stone at Quil, and everyone laughed when it made him jump. Low conversations murmured around us, teasing and casual.

Liam Clearwater’s eyes did not open. I thought I saw something sparkling on his cheek like a tear, but when I looked back a moment later it was gone.

Neither Jacob nor I spoke. He was so still beside me, his breath so deep and even, that I thought he might be close to sleep.

My mind was a thousand years away. I was not thinking of Yaha Uta or the other wolves, or the beautiful Cold Man or Woman—I could picture them only too easily. No, I was thinking of someone outside the magic altogether. I was trying to imagine the face of the unnamed woman who had saved the entire tribe, the third wife.

Just a human, with no special gifts or powers. Physically weaker and slower than any of the monsters in the story. But she had been the key, the solution. She’d saved her husband, her young sons, her tribe.

I wish they’d remembered her name….

Something shook my arm.

“C’mon, babe,” Jacob said in my ear. “We’re here.”

I blinked, confused because the fire seemed to have disappeared. I glared into the unexpected darkness, trying to make sense of my surroundings. It took me a minute to realize that I was no longer on the cliff. Jacob and I were alone. I was still under his arm, but I wasn’t on the ground anymore.

How did I get in Jacob’s car?

“Oh, crap!” I gasped as I realized that I had fallen asleep. “How late is it? Damn it, where’s my stupid phone?” I patted my pockets, frantic and coming up empty.

“Easy. It’s not even midnight yet. And I already called him for you. Look—he’s waiting there.”

“Midnight?” I repeated stupidly, still disoriented. I stared into the darkness, and I could barely make out the shape of the Volvo, thirty yards away. I slowly reached for the door handle.

“Here,” Jacob said, and he put a rectangular object into my other hand. My phone.

“You called Edward for me?”

My eyes were adjusted enough to see the bright gleam of Jacob’s smile. “I figured if I played nice, I’d get more time with you.”

“Thanks, Jake,” I said, touched. “Really, thank you. And thanks for inviting me tonight. That was…” Words failed me. “Wow. That was something else.”

“And you didn’t even stay up to watch me swallow a cow.” He laughed. “No, I’m glad you liked it. It was… nice for me. Having you there.”

There was a movement in the dark distance—something pale ghosting against the black trees. Pacing?

“Yeah, he’s not so patient, is he?” Jacob said, noticing my distraction. “Go ahead. But come back soon, okay?”

“Sure, Jake,” I promised, as I leaned back into him for a goodbye hug.

“Sleep tight, babe.” Jacob breathed into my ear. “Don’t worry about anything—I’ll be watching out for you tonight.”

I pulled away from him. “No, Jake. Get some rest, I’ll be fine.”

“Sure, sure,” he said, but he sounded more patronizing than agreeing.

I sighed and cracked the car door open. Cold air washed across my legs and made me shiver.

“’Night, Jake. Thanks.”

“’Night, Beau,” he whispered as I stepped out into the darkness.

Edward caught me at the boundary line.

“Beau,” he said, relief strong in his voice; his arms wound tightly around me.

“Hi. Sorry I’m so late. I fell asleep and—“

“I know. Jacob explained.” He started toward the car, and I staggered woodenly at his side. “Are you tired? I could carry you.”

“I’m fine.”

“Let’s get you home and in bed. Did you have a nice time?”

“Yeah—it was amazing, Edward. Like, I can’t even explain it. Jake’s dad told us the old legends and it was like… like magic.”

“You’ll have to tell me about it. After you’ve slept.”

“I won’t get it right,” I said, and then I yawned hugely.

Edward chuckled. He opened my door for me, lifted me in, and buckled my seat belt around me.

Bright lights flashed on and swept across us. I waved toward Jacob’s headlights, but I didn’t know if he saw the gesture.

That night—after I’d gotten past Charlie, who didn’t give me as much trouble as I’d expected because Jacob had called him too—instead of collapsing in bed right away, I leaned out the open window while I waited for Edward to come back. The night was surprisingly cold, almost wintry. I hadn’t noticed it at all on the windy cliffs; I imagined it had less to do with the fire than it did with sitting next to Jacob.

Icy droplets spattered against my face as the rain began to fall.

It was too dark to see much besides the black triangles of the spruces leaning and shaking with the wind. But I strained my eyes anyway, searching for other shapes in the storm. A pale silhouette, moving like a ghost through the black… or maybe the shadowy outline of an enourmous wolf… My eyes were too weak.

Then there was a movement in the night, right beside me. Edward slid through my open window, his hands colder than the rain.

“Is Jacob out there?” I asked, shivering as Edward pulled me into the circle of his arm.

“Yes… somewhere. And Esme’s on her way home.”

I sighed. “It’s so cold and wet. This is silly.” I shivered again.

He chuckled. “It’s only cold to you, Beau.”

 It was cold in my dream that night, too, maybe because I slept in Edward’s arms. But I dreamt I was outside in the storm, the wind whipping through my hair and blinding my eyes. I stood on the rocky crescent of First Beach, trying to understand the quickly moving shapes I could only dimly see in the darkness at the shore’s edge. At first, there was nothing but a flash of white and black, darting toward each other and dancing away. And then, as if the moon had suddenly broken from the clouds, I could see everything.

Royal, his hair swinging wet and golden down his back, was lunging at an enourmous wolf—its muzzle shot through with silver—that I instinctively recognized as Billy Black.

I broke into a run, but found myself moving in the frustrating slow motion of dreamers. I tried to scream to them, to tell them to stop, but my voice was stolen by the wind, and I could make no sound. I waved my arms, hoping to catch their attention. Something flashed in my hand, and I noticed for the first time that my right hand wasn’t empty.

I held a long, sharp blade, ancient and silver, crusted in dried, blackened blood.

I cringed away from the knife, and my eyes snapped back to the fighting figures on the beach. As I watched, Royal’s muscular frame seemed to slim out into a lean, cat-like figure and his golden hair began to twist and darken to a fiery red. Likewise, the old wolf seemed to shift into younger, more virulent form. The silver faded away into a deep, russet brown.

I was no longer watching Royal and Billy Black, but Victor and Jacob fighting on the beach.

My heart stopped and I watched in horror as Victor suddenly grabbed Jacob by the neck.

I did the only thing I could think to do, and rushing forward I raised the ancient blade high above me. Victor’s cold, thirsty eyes met mine and I brought the knife back down towards me.

 My eyes snapped open to the quiet darkness of my bedroom. The first thing I realized was that I was not alone, and I turned to bury my face in Edward’s chest, knowing the sweet scent of his skin would help to chase away the nightmares.

“Did I wake you?” he whispered. There was the sound of paper, the ruffling of pages, and a faint thump a something light fell to the wooden floor.

“No,” I mumbled as his arms tightened around me. “I had a bad dream.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

I shook my head. “Too tired. Maybe in the morning, if I remember.”

I felt a silent laugh shake through him.

“In the morning,” he agreed.

“What were you reading?” I muttered, not really awake at all.

“Wuthering Heights,” he said.

I frowned sleepily, “I thought you didn’t like that book.”

“You left it out,” he murmured, his soft voice lulling me towards unconsciousness. “Besides… the more time I spend with you, the more human emotions seem comprehensible to me. I’m discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn’t think possible before.”

“Mmm,” I sighed.

He said something else, something low, but I was already asleep.

 The next morning dawned pearly gray and still. Edward asked me about my dream, but I couldn’t get a handle on it. I only remembered that I was cold, and that I was glad he was there when I woke up. He kissed me, long enough to get my pulse racing, and then headed home to change and get his car.

I showered and dressed quickly, low on options. Whoever had ransacked my hamper had critically impaired my wardrobe. If It wasn’t so frightening, it would be seriously annoying.

As I was about to head down for breakfast, I noticed my battered copy of Wuthering Heights lying open on the floor where Edward had dropped it in the night, holding his place the way the damaged binding always held mine.

I picked it up curiously, trying to remember what he’d said. Something about feeling sympathy for Heathcliff, of all people. That couldn’t be right; I must have dreamed that part.

Three words on the open page caught my eye, and I bent my head to read the paragraph more closely. It was Heathcliff speaking, and I knew the passage well.

 And you see the distinction between our feelings: had he been in my place and I in his, though I hated him with a hatred that turned my life to gall, I never would have raised a hand against him. You may look incredulous, if you please! I never would have banished him from her society as long as she desired his. The moment her regard ceased, I would have torn his heart out, and drank his blood! But, till then—if you don’t believe me, you don’t know me—till then, I would have died by inches before I touched a single hair of his head!

 The three words that had caught my eye were “drank his blood.”

I shuddered.

Yes, surely I must have dreamt that Edward said anything positive about Heathcliff. And this page was probably not the page he’d been reading. The book could have fallen open to any page.

[junker-town]

What to watch at the U.S. Olympic marathon trials

Des Linden is trying to become the first woman to make three U.S. Olympic marathon teams. | Photo credit should read RYAN MCBRIDE/AFP via Getty Images

With three Olympic spots up for grabs, both the men’s and women’s race are set for high drama in Atlanta.

Every four years, elite marathon runners in the United States gather for a one-shot race to earn one of three spots apiece on the men’s and women’s Olympic teams. On Saturday in Atlanta, more than 700 of the fastest marathoners in the country will take aim at one of those coveted berths.

Not every country has a trial race. In fact, most have committees that simply pick qualified runners and send them to the Games. The U.S. race is a uniquely democratic competition in a sport filled with stifling bureaucracy.

For a time there was some concern about whether the American way of doing things would survive a change in Olympic guidelines established by the International Association of Athletics Federation. However, in July, the IAAF announced the American trials would serve as a “Gold Standard” event. Translation: the Americans could keep their qualifying race.

Running has lots of rules and governing bodies, many of them arcane and arbitrary. But in Atlanta, things will be much simpler. The top three male and female finishers earn a spot on the Olympic team. Of course, just earning the right to race is a major accomplishment.

To qualify, male runners need to clock a sub-2:15 marathon. That’s the “A Standard,” which is the top tier. The “B Standard” allows runners who ran 2:15-2:19 to gain a spot in the field. Additionally, runners who knocked out a half marathon in 64 minutes or less also qualified.

For women, the A Standard is a 2:37 marathon with B Standards coming in at sub-2:45, or less than 73 minutes in the half. By any standard, these are some seriously fast people who have earned the opportunity to run the race of their life.

Here’s who, and what, to watch for Saturday.

The shoes

For the whole history of the marathon, from Pheidippides to Haile Gebrselassie, the 2-hour marathon seemed an insurmountable barrier. Then in October, Eliud Kipchoge ran into history wearing gaudy neon shoes called Alphaflys. They were an updated prototype of Nike’s Vaporfly, the shoe that has led to an astonishing string of record-breaking performances.

Kipchoge had previously set the official marathon record of 2:01.39 in a version of the Vaporfly and Brigid Koseigi was wearing Vaporflys when she shattered the women’s mark that had stood for 16 years by a staggering 81 seconds with a 2:14.04 marathon in Chicago.

Independent research has shown the shoe delivers a measurable boost in performance, which gets to the heart of a major philosophical argument in running circles: Is technologically-enhanced performance worth the price of competition?

There are parallels between the fast kicks and those full-length bodysuits swimmers wore in the 2008 Olympics when they smashed records. Those suits were subsequently banned and there was some thought the shoes would come by the same fate.

However, the shoes were deemed legal for competition in January when World Athletics, track’s governing body, released what it called modified rules that placed limits on stack heights (40 millimeters) and embed plates. This gets very nerdy, but those limits just so happened to closely mirror the Alphafly’s specs.

The ruling, not surprisingly, sparked controversy. In a long, fascinating post, the sports scientist Ross Tucker wrote:

The failure to regulate “super shoes” hurts running. It undermines one of the sport’s most valuable qualities, namely that the outcome, the title, the victory, goes to the athlete whose physiology is optimized through training and genetics, then enabled by tactics, to cross the finish line first.

Is it the shoes or the runner that make the race? The marathon trials will offer clues.

The women’s race is wide open

In 2016, only 198 female runners qualified to run in the Olympic trials. This year, there are more than 500 competitors. You’d be hard-pressed to find a favorite in the crowded women’s field where more than a half-dozen runners could claim that mantle.

Among them: Des Linden, best known for surviving dreadful conditions in 2018 to be the first American to win Boston in 33 years. Linden is also trying to become the first U.S. woman to make three Olympic marathon teams. She’ll have competition from Sara Hall, whose relentless schedule is the stuff of legend.

The accomplished Molly Huddle, owner of 28 national titles and American records in the 10,000 meters and half marathon, seems poised to record a breakthrough marathon. Her training partner and fellow Providence Friar, Emily Sisson, ran a sizzling 2:23 in London in her first marathon.

It wouldn’t surprise anyone if Jordan Hasay, Amy Cragg, or Kellyn Taylor earned spots. Emma Bates, who lives off the grid in Idaho, is an inspiration for runners who would rather be nowhere than anywhere in particular.

The elite men

Galen Rupp, one of the country’s greatest distance runners ever, won the trials in 2016 in his first-ever marathon and earned a bronze in Rio. He is considered the favorite despite several setbacks including recovery from Achilles surgery. Rupp was also coached by Alberto Salazar, the disgraced former head of Nike’s Oregon Project who received a four-year ban by the US Anti-Doping agency.

Leonard Korir has only one marathon under his belt, but it was the fastest debut ever by an American: 2:07.56. That was the second-fastest qualifying time behind Rupp.

Another 2016 Olympian, Jared Ward, happens to run for Saucony. He will be an interesting test case for whether the Vaporflys provide an unfair advantage. Ward and friendly rival Scott Fauble dueled at both Boston and New York last season and it would be a treat to watch them battle again for an Olympic spot.

A pair of 40-somethings — Bernard Lagat and Abdi Abdirahman — are sentimental choices for this 40-something runner.

The course

Atlanta offers an interesting layout in two respects. Rather than going point-to-point for 26.2 miles, it’s an eight-mile loop run three times with a finishing kick through Centennial Park. Running loops can be something of a mental challenge, especially if a particular section gives you trouble. You know it’s waiting for you again and again.

Also, there will be hills with 1,389 feet of climb and 1,382 of descent. There isn’t a lot of flat on the Atlanta course, so runners will either be going up or down for the duration.

That’s markedly different than say, Chicago, which is notorious for being flat and fast. Boston, known primarily for the soul-crushing Heartbreak Hill, is actually a downhill course with the climbing back loaded toward the end.

The unique layout of the Atlanta course may benefit one runner in particular ...

The outsider

Jim Walmsley is the closest thing ultrarunning has to a crossover star. He’s torched courses, setting records in 50 miles (4 hours, 50 minutes) and at Western States in back-to-back years, the oldest and most iconic race on the circuit. Walmsley has never run a road marathon, but he qualified for the trials with a 64-minute half in Houston.

Road runners and trail junkies have lots more in common than they’d like to admit, but there’s some goofy tribal battles between the two camps. Obsessed as they are with splits and trying to shave seconds off their times, road runners view ultra runners as weirdo hippie amateurs, while ultrarunners think road warriors should chill and take it down a notch.

Because of his elite speed, Walmsley has the potential to bridge the two worlds. To be sure, it would be a long shot if he made the Olympic team. Still, no one in the field puts in the kind of training he does — 200-mile weeks at altitude with thousands of feet of climbing. In a recent profile in the New York Times, Walmsley offered a quote that sums up the ultrarunner ethos.

“A lot of people train to have their best day ever,” he told the Times. “In ultra­running, you learn to train for your worst. I’m looking to get to the most painful spot I can.”

Anyone else?

Yes. Shoutout to my friend Brian Harvey who qualified for the trials running a 2:17.50 at Sacramento. A seriously good dude who runs/commutes to work and makes a mean butternut squash risotto, Harvey is the kind of hardcore semi-pro runner who makes this event so unique.

[tocinephile]

The Morning After - The Golden Globes 2020 Edition

Morning/Afternoon/Night have lost meaning to me in this post holiday stupor, but I assure you I watched Sunday night’s awards.  Our methods of media consumption have altered every so slightly each year that at least 1/3 of the celebrity outfits I was checking out this year came from my Twitter app compared to the big TV screen in front of me (which often had a split screen happening to begin with).  No matter, it made it all the easier to share via my own twitter and to send to friends who sent me their comments and input through the pre-show and ceremony.

Even more than usual, the Globes felt like a warm-up to me this year.  I’ve barely digested the turkey and finished my Top Films of the Decade list and we’re already off to the award season races.  As a result, I’m not quite prepared to comment on every single win/loss, but what I can say I have embedded in the list below:

Best Motion Picture — Drama

“The Irishman” (Netflix) “Joker” (Warner Bros.) “Marriage Story” (Netflix) “1917” (Universal) (WINNER) “The Two Popes” (Netflix)

1917 has rocketed to the top of my movies to see list as a result of last night’s Best Drama and Best Director win.  Need to see this before the SAG Awards.

Best Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

“Dolemite Is My Name” (Netflix) “Jojo Rabbit” (Fox Searchlight) “Knives Out” (Lionsgate) “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” (Sony) (WINNER) “Rocketman” (Paramount)

Let it be known here and now, 2020 is going to be the first (and hopefully only) time I speak out against Quentin Tarantino winning an award.  I don’t dislike Once Upon A Time...In Hollywood, not at all, I just didn’t think it was anywhere near his best and in the awards race, there were far better this year. I’ve seen all the films in this category with the exception of Rocketman and I liked Jojo Rabbit and Knives out much more, and Dolemite is My Name equally as good as Once Upon A Time.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture — Drama

Cynthia Erivo (“Harriet”) Scarlett Johansson (“Marriage Story”) Saoirse Ronan (“Little Women”) Charlize Theron (“Bombshell”) Renée Zellweger (“Judy”) (WINNER)

I’ve actually only seen Marriage Story and Judy in this category. Renee is phenomenal no doubt, but part of me did question whether her performance would shine through an otherwise mediocre film.  Turns out it did.

Best Actor in a Motion Picture — Drama

Christian Bale (“Ford v Ferrari”) Antonio Banderas (“Pain and Glory”) Adam Driver (“Marriage Story”) Joaquin Phoenix (“Joker”) (WINNER) Jonathan Pryce (“The Two Popes”)

Joaquin was the favourite in his stacked category, but I recommend all of these performances (though The Two Popes slightly less as a film, not my cup of tea). I was really on the fence about his acceptance speech though, the delivery was channeling too much Joker though the message was in the right place.

Best Actress in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

Ana de Armas (“Knives Out”) Awkwafina (“The Farewell”) (WINNER) Cate Blanchett (“Where’d You Go, Bernadette”) Beanie Feldstein (“Booksmart”) Emma Thompson (“Late Night”)

Another stacked category (I’m gonna make the assumption that Emma Thompson was great in Late Night), these are all movies to see.  Awkwafina being recognized in a non-comedic role is a boon for the Asian community. Sidenote: I seem to be in the minority when it comes to Where’d You Go Bernadette, but I quite liked that movie. 

Best Actor in a Motion Picture — Musical or Comedy

Daniel Craig (“Knives Out”) Roman Griffin Davis (“Jojo Rabbit”) Leonardo DiCaprio (“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”) Taron Egerton (“Rocketman”) (WINNER) Eddie Murphy (“Dolemite Is My Name”)

I’ve not seen Taron Egerton’s performance but predicted he would win anyway. 

Best Actress in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture

Kathy Bates (“Richard Jewell”) Annette Bening (“The Report”) Laura Dern (“Marriage Story”) (WINNER) Jennifer Lopez (“Hustlers”) Margot Robbie (“Bombshell”)

Should have been J. Lo. (opinion based on having seen 2 of the 5 performances)  Not that Laura Dern isn’t spectacular in everything she does, but is her character in Marriage Story not identical to her role in Big Little Lies?

Best Actor in a Supporting Role in Any Motion Picture

Tom Hanks (“A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”) Anthony Hopkins (“The Two Popes”) Al Pacino (“The Irishman”) Joe Pesci (“The Irishman”) Brad Pitt (“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”) (WINNER)

Brad Pitt’s good, and this is one of the awards that I’m cool with Once Upon a Time picking up, but was he better than Pesci and Pacino? I mean, is anyone??

Best Director — Motion Picture Bong Joon-ho (“Parasite”) Sam Mendes (“1917”) (WINNER) Todd Phillips (“Joker”) Martin Scorsese (“The Irishman”) Quentin Tarantino (“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”)

Again, the winner is the only film I haven’t seen.  I can vouch all the other directors were great.

Best Screenplay — Motion Picture Noah Baumbach (“Marriage Story”) Bong Joon-ho and Han Jin Won (“Parasite”) Anthony McCarten (“The Two Popes”) Quentin Tarantino (“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”) (WINNER) Steven Zaillian (“The Irishman”)

Ok, it pains me to say this, but Tarantino should not have gotten this one.  Give his film any other award but this one! He did a decent job of directing, his cast gave great performances, the wardrobe and production design was fabulous, the editing is solid, even the music was alright (ok, fine, don’t nominate the film for its music neither)... but the weak link in Once Upon a Time...In Hollywood is the story.  It’s so beneath what QT can do, it’s like QT made palatable. So please don’t recognize him for this script out of all his scripts.  Don’t encourage him to write more scripts like this one.  Nevermind that every other film on this list had a better script than his. If I got to pick, I’d have chosen The Irishman, but would have accepted any of the other three as winner.

Best Motion Picture — Foreign Language

“The Farewell” (A24) “Les Misérables” (Amazon) “Pain and Glory” (Sony Pictures Classics) “Parasite” (Neon) (WINNER) “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” (Neon)

“Once you overcome the one-inch tall barrier of subtitles, you will be introduced to so many more amazing films” Preach Boon Joon-Ho!  I’m actually very impressed with the list of nominees this year and I’m even more pleased the best film won.

Best Motion Picture — Animated

“Frozen 2” (Disney) “How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World” (Universal) “The Lion King” (Disney) “Missing Link” (United Artists) (WINNER) “Toy Story 4” (Disney)

Best Original Score — Motion Picture

Alexandre Desplat (“Little Women”) Hildur Guðnadóttir (“Joker”) (WINNER) Randy Newman (“Marriage Story”) Thomas Newman (“1917”) Daniel Pemberton (“Motherless Brooklyn”)

I don’t know that any score in particular stood out for me this year, but now that you mention it, Joker did have a pretty great score.  It was mentioned that Hildur Guonadottir also wrote the score for Chernobyl and that one was affecting.

Best Original Song — Motion Picture

“Beautiful Ghosts” (“Cats”) “I’m Gonna Love Me Again” (“Rocketman”) (WINNER) “Into the Unknown” (“Frozen 2”) “Spirit” (“The Lion King”) “Stand Up” (“Harriet”)

Why don’t I know a single one of these songs?

Best Television Series — Drama

“Big Little Lies” (HBO) “The Crown” (Netflix) “Killing Eve” (BBC America) “The Morning Show” (Apple TV Plus) “Succession” (HBO) (WINNER)

I should watch Succession.

Best Television Series — Musical or Comedy

“Barry” (HBO) “Fleabag” (Amazon) (WINNER) “The Kominsky Method” (Netflix) “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” (Amazon) “The Politician” (Netflix)

I should really watch Fleabag.

Best Television Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

“Catch-22″ (Hulu) “Chernobyl” (HBO) (WINNER) “Fosse/Verdon” (FX) The Loudest Voice (Showtime) “Unbelievable” (Netflix)

Everyone should watch Chernobyl.  I stood in front of Reactor 4 shortly before the series aired and when I shared my photos from overseas people were freaking out. I got home and watched the series for myself and truly understood why.

Best Actress in a Television Series — Drama

Jennifer Aniston (“The Morning Show”) Olivia Colman (“The Crown”) (WINNER) Jodie Comer (“Killing Eve”) Nicole Kidman (“Big Little Lies”) Reese Witherspoon (“The Morning Show”)

Best Actor in a Television Series — Drama

Brian Cox (“Succession”) (WINNER) Kit Harington (“Game of Thrones”) Rami Malek (“Mr. Robot”) Tobias Menzies (“The Crown”) Billy Porter (“Pose”)

Best Actress in a Television Series — Musical or Comedy

Christina Applegate (“Dead to Me”) Rachel Brosnahan (“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”) Kirsten Dunst (“On Becoming a God in Central Florida”) Natasha Lyonne (“Russian Doll”) Phoebe Waller-Bridge (“Fleabag”) (WINNER)

Best Actor in a Television Series — Musical or Comedy

Michael Douglas (“The Kominsky Method”) Bill Hader (“Barry”) Ben Platt (“The Politician”) Paul Rudd (“Living With Yourself”) Ramy Youssef (“Ramy”) (WINNER)

Best Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Kaitlyn Dever (“Unbelievable”) Joey King (“The Act”) Helen Mirren (“Catherine the Great”) Merritt Wever (“Unbelievable”) Michelle Williams (“Fosse/Verdon”) (WINNER)

Michelle Williams for best acceptance speech for the night - amiright?

Best Actor in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Christopher Abbott (“Catch-22”) Sacha Baron Cohen (“The Spy”) Russell Crowe (“The Loudest Voice”) (WINNER) Jared Harris (“Chernobyl”) Sam Rockwell (“Fosse/Verdon”)

Best Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Patricia Arquette (“The Act”) (WINNER) Helena Bonham Carter (“The Crown”) Toni Collette (“Unbelievable”) Meryl Streep (“Big Little Lies”) Emily Watson (“Chernobyl”)

Best Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Alan Arkin (“The Kominsky Method”) Kieran Culkin (“Succession”) Andrew Scott (“Fleabag”) Stellan Skarsgård (“Chernobyl”) (WINNER) Henry Winkler (“Barry”)

Well, that’s me and my two cents. Between the SAG Awards being a couple weeks away and us being in the midst of our January 30 Films in 31 Days film challenge I gotta get back to watching more films stat!