#Embers of A Dying World
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(The Metal Gods Meltdown)
#SoundCloud#music#The Metal Gods Meltdown#Mors Principium Est#Embers of A Dying World#The Metal Gods Meltdown#Seb Di Gatto
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series: burning embers of a dying world
author: aspen blackwood
“The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.”
➳➳ echoes of crystal springs
Brooklynd, the capital city on Vanaheim - 10923 Steve looked at the brunet haired baby boy with pointed ears in the bassinet, the omega he would one day take as his wife. He could just barely hear the adults talking on the other side of the room as they whispered about courtship and marriage. He couldn’t believe the Ljósálfar would travel so far from Álfheim to discuss such topics. He was a mere five year old boy, what did he know of alliances and weddings?
➳➳ crimson courtship: a death race for love | [coming 2025]
Brooklynd, Vanaheim - 10943 Ever since he can remember, Steve has always been plagued with visions while he sleeps of a boy with pupils that mirror the shade of the Vanaheim ocean tides and irises that sing of the skies. That same boy grows into the man that leads him across the sand dunes that cover Arrakis in its entirety. He still has those dreams, he sees the man wearing a smile that pierces Steve’s soul, one hand drenched in blood and an arm coated in metal. He thinks of those dreams as he stands at the altar to await his bride with those same blue eyes.
next up in the series: fall of the house of the black sun [coming 2026]
@burningembersofadyingworld
#stucky dune au#stucky fiction#marvel fiction#dune fiction#fusion au#prophecies#fate#non traditional omegaverse#alpha steve rogers#omega bucky barnes#age difference#nine realms#mad king#darkling fics#fantastical tales#burning embers#of a dying world#echoes of crystal springs#crimson courtship#a death race for love#fall of the house of the black sun#burning embers of a dying world
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While most humans are generally open to interspecies physical contact, even the friendliest of humans will have what they call, ‘don’t touch me days’.
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#SciFi #ShortStory #HumansAreSpaceOrcs #EarthisSpaceAustralia #HFY
#hfy#humans are weird#Betty Adams#Dying Embers#book#comedy#funny#comic#jokes#aliens#sciencefiction#science fiction#sci fi#good books#sci-fi#space#spaceships#planets#earth is a death world#earth is space australia#humans are orcs#humans are space orcs#absurdity#humor#coffee table book#spiders#quilxtch#quilx'tch#trisk#haw
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🚨 SPOILERS🚨
Kingdom of Ash Chapter 50
Rowan's hands tightened on Aelin's shoulders as the words settled into her, hollow and cold.
"Maeve is a Valg queen?" he breathed.
Aelin said nothing. Couldn't find the words. Her power roiled. She didn't feel it.
Nesryn nodded solemnly. "Yes. The kharankui told us the entire history."
And so Nesryn did as well. Of how Maeve had somehow found a way into this world, fleeing or bored with her husband, Orcus. Erawan's elder brother. Of how Erawan, Orcus, and Mantyx had torn apart worlds to find her, Orcus's missing wife, and only halted here because the Fae had risen to challenge them. Fae led by Maeve, whom the Valg kings did not know or recognize, in the form she had taken.
The life she had crafted for herself. The minds of all the Fae who had existed that she had ripped into, convincing them that there had been three queens, not two. Including the minds of Mab and Mora, the two sister-queens who had ruled Doranelle. Including Brannon himself.
"The spiders claimed," Nesryn went on, "that even Brannon didn't know. Even now, in the Afterworld, he doesn't know. That was how deep Maeve's powers went into his mind, into all their minds. She made herself their true queen."
The words, the truth, pelted Aelin, one after another.
Elide's face was white as death. "But she fears the healers." A nod toward Yrene. "She keeps that owl, you said—an enslaved Fae healer-should the Valg ever discover her." For that was the other piece of it. The other thing Nesryn had revealed, Chaol and Yrene adding in their own accounts. The Valg were parasites. And Yrene could cure their human hosts of them. Had done so for Princess Duva. And might be able to do with so many others enslaved with rings or collars. But what had infested Duva ... A Valg princess.
Aelin leaned back into her chair, her head resting against the solid wall of Rowan's body.
His hands shook against her shoulders. Shook as he seemed to realize what, exactly, had ripped into his mind. Where Maeve's power had come from that allowed her to do so. Why she remained deathless and ageless, and had outlasted any other. Why Maeve's power was darkness.
"It is also why she fears fire," Sartaq said, jerking his chin to Aelin. "Why she fears you so."
And why she'd wanted to break her. To be just like that enslaved healer bound in owl form at her side.
"I thought—I managed to cut her once," Aelin said at last. That quiet, ancient darkness pushed in, dragging her down, down, down-" I saw her blood flow black. Then it changed to red." She blew out a breath, pulling out of the darkness, the silence that wanted to devour her whole. Made herself straighten. Peer at Fenrys.
"You said that her blood tasted ordinary to you when you swore the oath." The white wolf shifted back into his Fae body. His bronze skin was ashen, his dark eyes swimming with dread. "It did."
Rowan growled, "It didn't taste any different to me, either."
"A glamour-like the form she maintains," Gavriel mused.
Nesryn nodded. "From what the spiders said, it seems entirely possible that she would be able to convince you that her blood looked and tasted like Fae blood."
Fenrys made a sound like he was going to be sick. Aelin was inclined to do the same.
And from far away—a memory-that-was-not-a-memory stirred. Of summer nights spent in a forest glen, Maeve instructing her. Telling her a story about a queen who walked between worlds.
Who had not been content in the realm in which she'd been born, and had found a way to leave it, using the lost knowledge of ancient wayfarers. World-walkers.
Maeve had told her. Perhaps a skewed, biased tale, but she'd told her. Why? Why do it at all? Some way to win her-or to make her hesitate, should it ever come to this?
"But Maeve hates the Valg kings," Elide said, and even from the silent, drifting place to which Aelin had gone, she could see the razor-sharp mind churning behind Elide's eyes. "She's hidden for this long. Surely she wouldn't ally with them."
"She ran at the chance to get hold of a Valg collar," Fenrys said darkly. "Seemed convinced that she could control the prince inside it."
Not only through Maeve's power, but because she was a demon queen.
Aelin forced herself to take another breath. Another. Her fingers curled, gripping an invisible weapon.
Lorcan had not uttered a word. Had done nothing but stand there, pale and silent. As if he'd stopped being in his body, too.
"We don't know her plans," Nesryn said.
"The kharankui have not seen her for millennia, and only hear whisperings carried by lesser spiders. But they still worship her, and wait for her return."
Chaol met Aelin's stare, his gaze questioning.
Aelin said quietly, "I was Maeve's prisoner for two months."
Utter silence in the tent. Then she explained—all of it. Why she was not in Terrasen, who now fought there, where Dorian and Manon had gone.
Aelin swallowed as she finished, leaning into Rowan's touch. "Maeve wished me to reveal the location of the two Wyrdkeys. Wanted me to hand them over, but I managed to get them away before she took me. To Doranelle. She wanted to break me to her will. To use me to conquer the world, I thought. But it perhaps now seems she wanted to use me as a shield against the Valg, to guard her always." The words tumbled out, heavy and sharp. "I was her captive until nearly a month ago." She nodded toward her court. "When I got free, they found me again."
Silence fell again, her new companions at a loss. She didn't blame them.
Then Hasar hissed, "We'll make the bitch pay for that, too, won't we?"
Aelin met the princess's dark stare. "Yes, we will."
A Valg queen.
That's who had held his Fireheart. What sort of power had tried to break into her mind.
What power had broken into Rowan's mind.
All their minds, if she could glamour her blood to look and taste ordinary.
He felt the tension rising in Aelin, a raging storm that nearly hummed into his hands as he gripped her shoulders.
Yet her flames made no appearance. They hadn't shown so much as an ember these weeks, despite how hard they'd trained. Occasionally, he'd spy Goldryn's ruby gleaming while she held it, as if fire glowed in the heart of the stone. But nothing more. Not even when they'd tangled in their bed on the ship, when his teeth had found that mark on her neck.
Elide surveyed them all, their silence, and said to their new companions, "Perhaps we should determine a plan of action regarding tomorrow's battle." And give them time, later tonight, to sort through this colossal mess.
Chaol nodded. "We brought a trunk of books with us," he said to Aelin. "From the Torre. They're all full of Wyrdmarks." Aelin didn't so much as blink, but Chaol finished, "If we get through this battle, they're yours to peruse. In case there's anything in them that might help." Against Erawan, against Maeve, against his mate's terrible fate. Aelin just vaguely nodded.
So Rowan forced himself to shove away the shock and disgust and fear, and focus upon the plan ahead. Only Gavriel seemed able to do the same, Fenrys staying where he was, and Lorcan just staring and staring at nothing.
Aelin remained in her chair, simmering.
Roiling.
They planned it quickly and efficiently: they would return with Chaol and Yrene to the keep, to help with the fighting tomorrow. The khaganate royals would push from here, Nesryn and Prince Sartaq leading the ruks, and Princess Hasar commanding the foot soldiers and Darghan cavalry. A brilliantly trained, lethal group. Rowan had already marked the Darghan soldiers, with their fine horses and armor, their spears and crested helmets, while they'd strode for this tent, and breathed a sigh of relief at their skill. Perhaps the last sigh of relief he'd have in this war. Certainly if the khagan's forces hadn't yet decided where they would take this army afterward. He supposed it was fair-so many territories were now in Morath's path-but when this battle was over, he'd make damn sure they marched northward. To Terrasen.
But tomorrow-tomorrow they'd hammer Morath's legion against the keep walls, Chaol and Rowan leading the men from inside, picking off enemy soldiers.
Aelin didn't volunteer to do anything. Didn't indicate that she'd heard them.
And when they'd all deemed the plan sound, along with a contingency plan should it go awry, Nesryn only said, "We'll find you ruks to carry you back to the keep," before Aelin stormed into the frigid night, Rowan barely keeping up with her.
No embers trailed her. Mud did not hiss beneath her boots.
There was no fire at all. Not a spark.
As if Maeve had snuffed out that flame.
Made her fear it.
Hate it.
Aelin cut through the neatly organized tents, past horses and their armored riders, past foot soldiers around campfires, past the ruk riders and their mighty birds, who filled him with such awe he had no words for it. All the way to the eastern edge of the camp and the plains that stretched past, the space wide and hollow after the closeness of the army.
She didn't stop until she reached a stream they'd crossed only hours ago. It was nearly frozen over, but a stomp of her boot had the ice cracking. Breaking free to reveal dark water kissed with silvery starlight.
Then she fell to her knees and drank.
Drank and drank, cupping the water to her mouth. It had to be cold enough to burn, but she kept at it until she braced her hands on her knees and said, "I can't do this."
Rowan sank to a knee, the shield he'd kept around her while she stalked here sealing out the cold wind off the open plain.
"I-I can't—" She took a shuddering breath, and covered her face with her wet hands.
Gently, Rowan gripped her wrists and lowered them. "You do not face this alone."
Anguish and terror filled those beautiful eyes, and his chest tightened to the point of pain as she said, "It was a fool's shot against Erawan. But against him and Maeve? She gathered an army to her. Is likely bringing that army to Terrasen right now. And if Erawan summons his two brothers, if the other kings return—"
"He needs the two other keys to do that. He doesn't have them."
Her fingers curled, digging into her palms hard enough that the tang of her blood filled the air. "I should have gone after the keys. Right away. Not come here. Not done this."
"It is Dorian's task now, not yours. He will not fail at it."
"It is my task, and always has been—"
"We made the choice to come here, and we will stick to that decision," he snarled, not bothering to temper his tone. "If Maeve is indeed bringing her army to Terrasen, then it only confirms that we were right to come here. That we must convince the khagan's forces to go northward after this. It is the only chance we stand of succeeding."
Aelin ran her hands through her hair.
Streams of blood stained the gold. "I cannot win against them. Against a Valg king and queen." Her voice turned to a rasp. "They have already won."
"They have not." And though Rowan hated each word, he growled, "And you survived two months against Maeve with no magic to protect you. Two months of a Valg queen trying to break into your head, Aelin. To break you."
Aelin shook. "She did, though." Rowan waited for it. Aelin whispered, "I wanted to die by the end, before she ever threatened me with the collar. And even now, I feel like someone has ripped me from myself. Like I'm at the bottom of the sea, and who I am, who I was, is far up at the surface, and I will never get back there again."
He didn't know what to say, what to do other than to gently pull her fingers from her palms.
"Did you buy the swagger, the arrogance?" she demanded, voice breaking. "Did the others? Because I've been trying to. I've been trying like hell to convince myself that it's real, reminding myself I only need to pretend to be how I was just long enough."
Long enough to forge the Lock and die.
He said softly, "I know, Aelin." He hadn't bought the winks and smirks for a heartbeat.
Aelin let out a sob that cracked something in him. "I can't feel me-myself anymore. It's like she snuffed it out. Ripped me from it. She, and Cairn, and everything they did to me." She gulped down air, and Rowan wrapped her in his arms and pulled her onto his lap. "I am so tired," she wept. "I am so, so tired, Rowan."
"I know." He stroked her hair. "I know." It was all there really was to say.
Rowan held her until her weeping eased and she lay still, nestled against his chest.
"I don't know what to do," she whispered
"You fight," he said simply. "We fight. Until we can't anymore. We fight."
She sat up, but remained on his lap, staring into his face with a rawness that destroyed him.
Rowan laid a hand on her chest, right over that burning heart. "Fireheart."
A challenge and a summons.
She placed her hand atop his, warm despite the frigid night. As if that fire had not yet gone out entirely. But she only gazed up at the stars.
To the Lord of the North, standing watch.
"We fight," she breathed.
Aelin found Fenrys by a quiet fire, gazing into the crackling flames.
She sat on the log beside him, raw and open and trembling, but … the salt of her tears had washed away some of it. Steadied her. Rowan had steadied her, and still did, as he kept watch from the shadows beyond the fire.
Fenrys lifted his head, his eyes as hollow as she knew hers had been.
"Whenever you need to talk about it," she said, her voice still hoarse, "I'm here."
Fenrys nodded, his mouth a tight line. "Thank you."
The camp was readying for their departure, but Aelin scooted closer, and sat beside him in silence for long minutes.
Two healers, marked only by the white bands around their biceps, hurried past, arms full of bandages. Aelin tensed. Focused on her breathing.
Fenrys marked her line of sight. "They were horrified, you know," he said quietly. "Every time she brought them in to … fix you."
The two healers vanished around a tent.
Aelin flexed her fingers, shaking the lightness from them. "It didn't stop them from doing it."
"They didn't have a choice."
She met his dark stare. Fenrys's mouth tightened. "No one would have left you in those states. No one."
Broken and bloody and burned—
She gripped Goldryn's hilt. Helpless.
"They defied her in their own way," Fenrys went on. "Sometimes, she'd order them to bring you back to consciousness. Often, they claimed they couldn't, that you'd fallen too deeply into oblivion. But I knew—I think Maeve did, too— that they put you there. For as long as possible. To buy you time."
She swallowed. "Did she punish them?"
"I don't know. It was never the same healers." Maeve likely had. Had likely ripped their minds apart for their defiance.
Aelin's grip tightened on the sword at her side.
Helpless. She had been helpless. As so many in this city, in Terrasen, in this continent, were helpless. Goldryn's hilt warmed in her hand.
She wouldn't be that way again. For whatever time she had left.
Gavriel padded up beside Rowan, took one look at the queen and Fenrys, and murmured, "Not the news we needed to hear."
Rowan closed his eyes for a heartbeat. "No, it was not."
Gavriel settled a hand on Rowan's shoulder.
"It changes nothing, in some ways."
"How."
"We served her. She was ... not what Aelin is. What a queen should be. We knew that long before we knew the truth. If Maeve wants to use what she is against us, to ally with Morath, then it changes things. But the past is over. Done with, Rowan. Knowing Maeve is Valg or just a wretched person doesn't change what happened."
"Knowing a Valg queen wants to enslave my mate, and nearly did so, changes a great deal."
"But we know what Maeve fears, why she fears it," Gavriel countered, his tawny eyes bright. "Fire, and the healers. If Maeve comes with that army of hers, we are not defenseless." It was true. Rowan could have cursed himself for not thinking of it already. Another question formed, though. "Her army," Rowan said. "It's made up of Fae."
"So was her armada," Gavriel said warily.
Rowan ran a hand through his hair. "Will you be able to live with it-fighting our own people?" Killing them.
"Will you?" Gavriel countered.
Rowan didn't answer.
Gavriel asked after a moment, "Why didn't Aelin offer me the blood oath?"
The male hadn't asked these weeks. And Rowan wasn't sure why Gavriel inquired now, but he gave him the truth. "Because she won't do it until Aedion has taken the oath first. To offer it to you before him ... she wants Aedion to take it first."
"In case he doesn't wish me to be near his kingdom."
"So that Aedion knows she placed his needs before her own."
Gavriel bowed his head. "I would say yes, if she offered."
"I know." Rowan clapped his oldest friend on the back. "She knows, too."
The Lion gazed northward. "Do you think ... we haven't heard any news from Terrasen."
"If it had fallen, if Aedion had fallen, we would know. People here would know."
Gavriel rubbed at his chest. "We've been to war. He's been to war. Fought on battlefields as a child, gods be damned." Rage flickered over Gavriel's face. Not at what Aedion had done, but what he'd been made to do by fate and misfortune. What Gavriel had not been there to prevent. "But I still dread every day that passes and we hear nothing. Dread every messenger we see."
A terror Rowan had never known, different from his fear for his mate, his queen. The fear of a father for his child.
He didn't allow himself to look toward Aelin. To remember his dreams while hunting for her. The family he'd seen. The family they'd make together.
"We must convince the khaganate royals to march northward when this battle is over," Gavriel swore softly.
Rowan nodded. "If we can smash this army tomorrow, and convince the royals that Terrasen is the only course of action, then we could indeed be heading north soon. You might be fighting at Aedion's side by Yulemas."
Gavriel's hands clenched at his sides, tattoos spreading over his knuckles. "If he will allow me that honor."
Rowan would make Aedion allow it. But he only said, "Gather Elide and Lorcan. The ruks are almost ready to depart."
#Chapter 50#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#Rowaelin#Fenrys Moonbeam#Maeve#Gavriel#Chaol Westfall#Yrene Towers#Nesryn Faliq#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#no spoilers please this is my first read to go along with me there are chapter spoilers in post and tags with more reacts notes quotes etc#Mantyx(these names)it settled the known hurt2hear-what the world now is this war is so big-each accounts & stories told-what Maeve had done#true tale-she leaned on him like she had from the beginning2stop her from falling from running from failing from drowning in the ice-Fenrys#will say it-isit a Valg glamour?-mountains-memory thats not a memory-real or not real-“world walkers”-why tell her?-Elide&Annieth-whitedemo#hed broken2-what really happened-we will-break my heart-I know-Im tried-we fight-the way he just goes okay then it shall Bthat & done-Storm#held fast-no embers but the Ruby knows-old marks remade-like the hof days-brilliantly lethal-no one could leave u like that-he hated that#t had smothered her no spark just grief-fear-drinking the river feels mythology esc-his shields-never alone again-defending her2her-blood-#staining gold-gently2k her hands-crying-u survived this but but I didnt feeling-he hated the word but said the truth-I will never get back#who I was am-the way this chapter knows grief-just long enough-something cracked in me reading it-I dont feel me-so he held her-challenge#summons-lord of the north standing watch-shell pass it on as their queen-Fenrys again-Gavriel knew-hes giving Carlisle Cullen vibes-Rowan i#her steady equal but yes their horrified even of what it meant occured-they defied4her-bought oblivion so they could-that owl-but healing-#hurt2 even that was a scar-what he saw happen2the girl was worse-never the same-it changes nothing-what a queen should b-not defenseless-sh#will not always fear the fire&healing-why no oath4him?oh its4him… kindness-she needs Aedion2know hes needed before her own-he cant live if#she doesnt-Im dying here-HIS Queen-good ole Yulemas-lidia&Lyria#For him the truth would be the most horrendous.—shock—I fucking love Hasar & her reply joining defend Aelin squad-quiet words-YES WE WILL#At least Theres a backup plan. A storm. Fate is feeling heavier-good thing Elide learned to read it-
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sometimes I'll listen to an album and go oh yeah this whole thing is blorbocore so I want to draw them with the color pallet of the album cover. unfortunately all my ideas in this regard are for odio again
#i am normal about that man#but yeah i want to draw siffrin in moment colors and i think thatd be quite pretty actually#and when i have a set design for drosera she'd look cool in the fire itself colors#but mostly its odio. its all odio.#war eternal odio and sin and the sentence odio and embers of a dying world odio#i dont Quite know how id do sin and the sentence odio since itd probably be hard to do on trad though#veespeaks
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Residue
Do-you-remember questions are time machines. Sorrow stings the worst when looking at the embers of a dying love as they hold on to their dear lives as long as they could until they fade against the surging tide of a midnight wind washing away the past. Once in a while people would have this conversation, one is silent, just staring at the floor, thoughts nailed there somewhere, mind is made up,…
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#Act of Betrayal#Adrenaline Rush#All for Nothing#Be Forgiving#Building a World#Clouded Thoughts#Cold Bite#Confusion#Conversation#Creating Memories#Darkest Overcast#DO-YOU-REMEMBER#Don&039;t Cry#Dopamine Stocks#Dr. Seuss#Dying Love#Echoing Anguish#Embers#End#Erwinism#Everything for Love#Facial Expressions#Fingers Laced#Floor#Friction#Frost#FYP#Inspiration#Learning#Let Go
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I bait my hook with a dying ember
Name: Aiden Ashe Pronouns: He/Him Species: Human, Pyromancer Age: Mid 20s Why did the Bait work? Aiden was drawn to the dying ember as he felt it reflected himself, a slowly dying light. He hoped to stoke the flame, to give it a chance to bloom into a magnificent flame once again. Backstory: Born to a loving family, Aiden discovered his skills as a Pyromancer at a young age. However, like all Pyromancers of his real, he discovered that his gifts came at a price, each magically produced spark consuming a portion of his soul to light. He dedicated himself to finding alternate fuels for Pyromancers like himself, and while he has always found an alternate fuel for any Pyromancer he has met, he has yet to find one for himself.
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🥸🤫☠️ : JK
He wants something 🤫 as down payment before he lets u inside safe haven (a place where survivors go to seek refuge)
(yandere+smut+apocalypse) part of the prompt game pairing: metro inhabitant!Jungkook x survivor!female reader genre: apocalypse!AU, S2L, yandere-ish? warnings: survival after nuclear fallout, dark creatures, denied prostitution for safety, Jungkook is whipped from the start so that should suffice for yandere, foul language, smut, oral (f. receiving), squirting, JK comes in his pants, fluff, lmk if I forgot smth (still hate writing warnings) word count: 3.239 (upsiiii)
a/n: I couldn't rly make JK more yandere without it feeling a bit too dub-con, so I hope that's alright 💕 also it's heavily inspired by the trilogy '2033' by Dmitri Gluchowski (and to my Russian readers: Московское метро в��глядит так круто на фотографиях в интернете, надеюсь, однажды смогу его посетить☺️)
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You’ve been wandering for what feels like years, though it could be months, or perhaps just weeks; time’s an abstract notion now, in this world broken to pieces and baked under a nuclear sun.
With each step you take, the weight of exhaustion and your protective suit presses harder against your bones, but you don’t let it stop you. The world may be a dying beast, choking on its own ash and poison, but you still walk through it, a lone ember that refuses to snuff itself out. The remnants of cities whisper ghost stories to you as you pass, their bones twisted metal and crumbling concrete, charred earth for flesh. The wind sometimes hisses through the ruins, carrying tales of survivors—others like you, fighting, scavenging, enduring—and sometimes it’s silent, as if even the air is holding its breath for fear of what’s out there in the deep silence of the aftermath.
The black creatures—those twisted silhouettes of the apocalypse—roam the earth like shadows unbound from their hosts, moving through the poisoned fog with an unnatural grace that chills your very marrow. They are things of nightmares, remnants of the old world, perhaps, mutated beyond recognition by the fallout or born anew from the hatred that festers in the radioactive soil.
Their eyes, if they have any, are voids, consuming light and hope in equal measure, and their movements are barely perceptible until it’s too late, until they are upon you, whispering your end in a language only the dead would understand. They hunt relentlessly, not for sustenance, not for survival, but as if driven by some primal force deeper than instinct, a desire not just to kill but to erase, to wipe away the last remnants of humanity like dust from the pages of a forgotten book.
And you—battered, exhausted, teetering on the edge of oblivion—cannot rest, not here, not ever, because even in your sleep they find you, crawling into your dreams with their inky tendrils, reminding you that peace is a luxury no longer afforded to the living outside of shelter.
Your gas mask, an old friend now, covers your face like a second skin at this point, the filters clogged and heavy with days of dust, radiation, and fumes. You’ve noticed the way it pulls in air with more effort now, as if it’s trying to remember how to breathe.
You check the filter again. It’s nearly gone, the little red marker ticking closer to empty with every breath you take. You’ll have to find something new soon or you’ll suffocate on the very air that should sustain you.
This isn’t the first time you’ve tried to find shelter. In those early days, the optimism hadn’t yet drained from your veins and the desperation to belong somewhere, anywhere, had clouded your better judgment.
There had been men—those ones with teeth like wolves, eyes like death, always leering, always demanding. You’ve had to pull your knife more than once to remind them that your body isn’t for sale, that safety shouldn’t cost that much. That death, perhaps, is a kinder alternative to what they would have asked of you.
You can still hear their laughter sometimes, echoing in your skull—mocking, cruel. You had fled from them, from their dark gazes and cruel hands, from the taste of fear that licked at your throat when their eyes lingered too long on your body. Better the damnation from outside than their promises of protection.
But today… today you find yourself at the mouth of the metro. The entrance yawns wide like a secret, and the shadow of it draws you in, as though it’s reaching out for you. Your steps falter, but only for a moment—just long enough to recognise the hesitation in your chest, the uncertainty gnawing still on your mind. The thought flickers briefly across your consciousness—what if the people down there are like those others? What if all you find is more violence, more degradation, more proof that humanity has shed its last skin and become nothing more than base instincts and brutality?
But the mask is running low, and you can feel that desperation is creeping back into your bones, burrowing deep. You tighten your grip on the strap of your pack, pushing the fear down, burying it beneath a layer of resolve. You’ve come this far; you won’t turn back now.
The entrance is quiet—eerily so, as you push the tall hermetic door open and step inside, closing it quickly after. You glance around, eyes scanning the wreckage for signs of life. There’s nothing at first, just the silent exhalation of wind and the low hum of the distant, underground world. Then, movement.
You hear him before you see him—a soft shuffling of boots against stone, the faint click of a weapon being cocked. You freeze, instinctively tightening your grip on your knife as he steps into view.
Tall. Taller than most of the men you’ve encountered in these forsaken times. Muscles sculpted from necessity, sinew and strength coiled beneath his clothes like a waiting beast. He’s staring at you through the mask, gun raised, the barrel pointing at your chest. For a second, neither of you move. Then his eyes flicker downward, just for a moment, taking you in, assessing, like all the others. You brace yourself for what’s to come.
But it doesn’t come.
“Take it off,” he commands, voice low, barely more than a growl. His weapon doesn’t waver, and his expression is hidden behind a mask, eyes glinting through the cracked visor.
You hesitate. There’s a moment where you think of running, but there’s nowhere to go. There’s only the metro behind him, and the world ahead, both full of uncertainties, both as equally capable of destroying you. You suck in a breath, let it fill your lungs like a final goodbye to the stale air in the mask, and then you reach up to peel it away from your face, your skin sticking to the rubber for a moment before it falls loose.
The air tastes strange on your lips—metallic, sharp, almost alien after all this time behind the mask. You lift your eyes to his, half-expecting some sort of reaction, maybe disgust, maybe lust. But instead… there’s something different there, something you hadn’t anticipated. His gaze softens, though his grip on the weapon remains steady. He stares at you as though you’re something out of place in this hellscape, something fragile, a curiosity more than a threat. His gun lowers, just slightly, but his eyes don’t leave your face, as he too rids himself of his mask.
He’s younger than you thought. Ink spills across his skin—tattoos that ripple over his arm, dark lines twisting around muscles. You catch a glimpse of two piercings through his lip when he tilts his head slightly, like he’s trying to figure you out, and then his lips curve, ever so slightly, not quite a smile but not quite hostility either.
“Shelter,” you say, your voice rough, the words like stones scraping against the back of your throat. You cough once, clearing the dust away. “I need shelter.”
He eyes you for a moment longer, his gaze wandering down your frame, but it’s not like before—not like the leering stares of the men who sought to take more than they were willing to give. This is different. There’s something almost reverent in the way he looks at you, as though the mere fact that you’re still standing here, after all this, after the end of the world, is enough to stir absolute disbelief in him.
“Alright,” he says, after a pause that seems to stretch out longer than it should. “We’ll see.”
He gestures with his head, motioning for you to follow him into the metro. You hesitate for only a heartbeat before stepping forward. The air inside is cooler, the shadows deeper in the few flickering candle lights, and for a moment, you think you can almost breathe easier.
“Wait here,” he says, nodding towards a bench half-buried in dust. “There’s a process. Need to fill out a form.”
You blink. A form? The absurdity of it almost makes you laugh—almost. But you’re too tired for laughter, too worn down by the world to even consider the possibility of joy. So, instead, you sit with an exhausted plop. You watch as he disappears for a moment, hear the soft scrape of papers being shuffled, and then he’s back, clipboard in hand, a pencil poised like a weapon in his grip.
He doesn’t sit down. Just stands there, towering over you, his presence impressive but not oppressive. You glance up at him, and there’s something about the way he looks at you that makes you feel exposed—not in a dangerous way, but in a way that makes you feel seen for the first time in a long time. It’s unsettling.
He clears his throat, eyes flicking to the clipboard. “Name?”
You give it to him. He writes it down, slow and thoughtful.
“Age?”
Again, you’re honest, coughing right after. He writes again, his eyes lifting to your face between each question as if checking to see if you’re lying, or maybe just to remind himself that you’re real.
“Where did you come from?”
You answer, though the place you once called home feels distant, like something from a dream you can’t quite remember. His pen scratches the paper, and you almost lose yourself in the sound of it, that soft, repetitive scrape, the only noise in the otherwise still part of the metro.
“Any medical conditions? Injuries?”
You shake your head, your body numb to the aches and pains that have become part of you, the exhaustion that’s settled into your bones as permanent as the sorrow for the destroyed outside world.
He writes.
The questions continue. And all the while, his eyes keep returning to you, scanning your face as if he’s trying to commit every line, every shadow, to memory. You can feel his gaze lingering on your skin, not in a way that makes you want to shrink or hide, but in a way that makes you want to ask why he’s looking at you like that, why his lips keep twitching into something that almost resembles a smile, sometimes a pout.
After what feels like an eternity, he finishes writing, his pen stilling against the paper. You think he’s done, that maybe this bizarre interaction will end and you’ll be allowed to rest, to sleep, to breathe for just a moment.
But then he clears his throat again. And this time, when he looks at you, there’s something different in his eyes. Something you can’t quite place.
“There’s one more thing,” he says, and the air between you feels too much like outside, chocking and not fit for you.
You stiffen. You feel that old familiar dread curling up inside your chest again, clawing at your ribs. You’ve been at this stage before, the formality of it, the false promises of security, of kindness. The moment where it all comes crashing down, where the mask slips and you’re left standing there, alone and defenceless against the greed, the hunger that always lurks just beneath the surface of those too desperate to remember what it means to be human.
He sees the shift in you. You know he does. You see it in the way his brow furrows, the way he toys with his lip piercings as though he’s searching for the right words, something to say that won’t make you bolt for the hermetic door. He takes a breath, and for a moment, you think you might run, you think you might grab your mask and take your chances with the toxic air outside because anything—anything—might be better than this.
But then, he speaks.
“I—” His voice falters, and you see the muscles in his throat work as he swallows. His grip on the clipboard tightens, the knuckles going white. “I want to… I want to eat you out.”
The words hit you like a shockwave. You blink, stunned, and for a moment, you’re not sure you heard him correctly. Did he really just—?
You stare at him, your mind racing, trying to process the absurdity of it, the strangeness, the unexpectedness.
He’s looking at you now, eyes wide, almost pleading. There’s no threat in his posture, no demand. Just… want. Raw and unfiltered. Like he’s asking for something he shouldn’t even be allowed to ask, but he can’t help himself. His breath is shallow, and you can see the way his hands tremble slightly, the tension in his body like he’s bracing for you to reject him, to walk away.
And maybe you should. Maybe you should get up, leave this place, leave him behind, leave all of this strangeness and vulnerability and run back into the wasteland where at least the dangers are known, where the air is poison but the intentions are clear. But instead, you sit there, frozen in place, your mind spinning, your heart pounding in your chest as you look at him.
He’s not like the others. That much you know.
He’s so painfully handsome, a rare sight in this broken world, and it’s been so long—too long—since you’ve felt the heat of another body, since before the fallout turned everything to pure survival.
So, when the chance arises, when you catch the hunger in his dark eyes and feel the thrumming ache in your own bones, you seize it like a lifeline in the endless wasteland. Your fingers tremble as you pull the zip of your protective suit down, the rough fabric parting like a sigh, and you free your legs, peeling it off your lower half. You shift on the bench, boots still clinging to your feet as you raise them to rest beside you, and open yourself to him, your legs spread wide, exposing your cunt like a silent offering, need pulsing through your veins.
Jungkook barely hesitates. The clipboard thrown, clattering to the ground behind him, forgotten, his focus now laser-sharp on the sight before him, his eyes flickering wildly between your face and the growing wetness glistening between your thighs. He steps forward with a pull that feels almost sacred, falling heavily to his knees as if the ground beneath him is the only place he belongs. His warm, calloused hands trace their way up your bare legs, the roughness of his skin sparking something primal under your own.
He leans in close, close enough that you can feel his breath ghosting over your slick skin. He takes a deep breath, inhaling you, and the word falls from his lips like a prayer, “Fuck,” and then he’s there, tongue pressing into you with a hunger that’s suffocating, lapping at your cunt as if he’s desperate to prove himself worthy of it, as if he knows exactly how lucky he is to be granted this wish.
A moan escapes your throat, unbidden, as his tongue forces its way into the tight heat of your hole, your hand reaching instinctively for his dark hair, fingers threading through the strands as you push your hips into his eager mouth. The sound that rumbles from deep within his chest vibrates against you, a groan of raw pleasure that seems to send waves of newfound pleasure coursing through your body, arousal dripping from you, coating his tongue.
“Taste so good,” he rasps between breaths, his voice rough and broken with want. “Fucking angel sent from heaven.” His gaze flicks upward, catching yours, his eyes wide with disbelief, adoration simmering beneath the surface despite the fact that you’re strangers, despite the fact that the world outside has crumbled to nothing.
You find yourself moving against him, riding the flat of his tongue, his fingers dancing over your clit in a rhythm that feels almost divine. His other hand grips your thigh, fingers pressing into your flesh with a kind of desperation, as though he’s terrified that if he lets go, you’ll disappear, that this will vanish like a dream.
“Yes,” you cry out, breathless and shaking, as he finds the perfect pace, the perfect pressure, his mouth and hands working together with an almost agonising precision. And neither of you can tear your eyes away from the other, locked in this frantic, desperate exchange of need and lust and something deeper you can’t yet name.
He gives you everything—every ounce of affection and euphoria you’ve been deprived of for months—and you can feel it in the way his own body trembles, the way his hips move mindlessly against nothing, rutting into the air as though he’s just as desperate to be filled with pleasure as you are.
“I’m close,” you gasp, your hand tightening in his hair, pulling him harder against you, urging him on, desperate for more, for him to push you over that edge.
And he listens, his tongue working with relentless skill, circling your clit with a pressure so precise it almost drives you mad, and then you feel it—your orgasm tearing through you with an intensity that leaves you breathless, shockwaves rippling through your body as you squirt onto his tongue, something you’ve never done before, the surprise of it lost in the haze of pleasure. Jungkook groans beneath you, greedily lapping up everything you give him, cleaning you with his mouth like he never wants to stop, his hips stuttering forward as he spills into his pants, caught in his own silent climax.
“Fuck…” he moans thickly and long, collapsing against your stomach as your legs tremble and fall to the floor, muscles too weak to hold them up any longer.
For a long moment, neither of you moves, the silence between you filled only by the sound of your ragged breathing, the disaster of the world momentarily forgotten. But eventually, he pulls himself together, straightening up with a sheepish grin, adjusting his pants which are now damp with his own release, his expression cringing just slightly.
You quickly dress again, pulling your suit back into place, feeling a flush of heat creeping into your cheeks. There’s an embarrassment there, sure, but not disgust—not even close. If anything, there’s a strange sense of satisfaction, of relief, and you catch yourself hoping this won’t be the last time you see him, that he isn’t bored now that his hunger has been sated.
But as you reach for your pack, Jungkook’s voice breaks through the quiet, and he gestures for you to follow him deeper into the metro, his arm draping casually around your shoulders as if he can’t quite bring himself to stop touching you. “I’m Jungkook, by the way,” he says, a grin spreading across his face, his eyes bright with something that looks almost like joy—something you haven’t seen in anyone since the fallout. “You can stay with me if you want.”
There’s a pause, your heart skipping a beat at his offer, and you hesitate only for a second before whispering, “I’d like to stay with you, if that’s okay.”
He beams down at you, stars shining in his dark eyes like you haven’t seen in months, and he takes the opportunity to press a gentle kiss to your sweaty forehead. “Good,” he says softly. “I’d like that too.”
PART 2
#prompt game#anon ask#ari answers#bts imagines#bts fanfic#bts army#jungkook x reader#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#jungkook imagine#jjk x reader#jungkook#bts smut#Jungkook fluff#bts fluff#Jungkook smut#jungkook yandere#yandere#dark romance#Jungkook dark romance#Jungkook apocalypse#apocalypse#apocalypse!AU#bts apocalypse
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Haunted— Echo~ ( @mantleoflight )
Gale was perfectly fine with going to the Leviathan with Echo. He seemed a bit excited, even. It was the first time he'd been deployed on Vanguard work, it was his time to contribute to the cause of defending humanity. He'd forgotten the rumours of what happened aboard the ship.
The fungus was nothing, of course. He'd eaten worse on the Moon. The cloned Cabal were just another thing to shrug off, as were the Scorn. The worst enemy came when the room was clear. A ghost of a touch sent a shudder up his spine.
"Nightingale~"
Gale gasped quietly, as if the wind had been knocked out of him, then shakily exhaled. His grip on his bow was suddenly too tight. He was suddenly a very different creature; instead of a relaxed predator, he was a strung out prey. Nothing had changed about his stance, either, the change came as easy as breathing.
"He...he's right behind me, isn't he...?" He tried to laugh off his fear, but the tremor in his voice betrayed his horror.
#sinister dot png#gale // dying embers#mantleoflight // fire cloak#also! setting this in a world where echo was alive in the dark ages so gale would trust her via the rship w eva#kane // herald of nothing
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WILL YOU SLEEP ALONE TONIGHT?
(rio vidal x reader) (agatha harkness x rio vidal)
synopsis | you finally see her again, after what feels like a century apart. but she's not the person you remember—her smile is wrong, her eyes colder, and her voice carries an edge that cuts through nostalgia. something is off, something you can’t name, like death painted in the wrong shade of blue: unfamiliar, unsettling, and hauntingly beautiful.
tags | angst, hurt/comfort, unrequited love and ohh it burns, it’s set after end of agatha all along sooo, open ending, everyone’s crying :(
word count | 2k
authors note | i’ve not written in a while but this lil thing was inspired by my recent obsession with aubrey plaza & my friend’s constant need to bombard me with sad agathario edits - @cuinaminute229
The air was heavy with silence, save for the faint hum of the single streetlamp casting a pale glow over the cracked pavement. You clutched your keys tightly, the cool metal digging into your palm as you walked across the empty parking lot, your dingy car left on the other side. The forest loomed at the edge of your vision, a wall of shadows that seems to lean closer the longer you look at it. The lamp flickered once, then twice, as if unsure of its purpose.
She’s not hard to miss, sat on the weathered bench beneath the light, her silhouette fragile against the darkness. Her face is pale, almost ghostly, and her eyes—a vivid, unnatural red—glint like dying embers. Old tears tracks carved glistening paths down her cheeks, catching the light like molten silver. You stopped mid-step, unsure whether to approach or retreat. This was something completely new to you. Rio was never one to let her emotions spill out, never the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, her true form bare for all to see. With you, especially, she was a fortress: stone walls, guarded gates, and windows so shuttered even the light struggled to slip through. Your time together had always been private, locked away behind closed doors and tangled in the heat of shared breaths and whispered sighs. It was nothing serious—that had been the deal from the start. No expectations. No promises. You’d both agreed to keep it light, easy, uncomplicated. It worked for her, and you thought it would work for you, too. After all, you weren’t exactly searching for a fairy tale with a happily-ever-after. But Rio had a way of upending expectations without even trying.
To you, she wasn’t just beautiful—though she obviously was. It wasn’t just her sharp jawline, her dark, stormy eyes, or the way her lips curved when she was amused. It was how she moved through the world: always untouchable, always unbothered, and entirely herself. Rio was the kind of woman who could make you feel insignificant and seen all at once. You told yourself it was harmless, that the smirk she gave you when you made her laugh didn’t mean anything. That the way she pulled you into her arms each night, her hand firm on your wrist, wasn’t your undoing. But oh, how wrong you were. She’s not the type to play fair, and you knew that from the start. Still, you let her draw you into her world, a place where shadows whispered secrets and the nights stretched endlessly. Every time she tilted her head and smiled at you, the world narrowed until it was just her, framed in smoke and fleeting light.
You weren’t supposed to fall for her. You should’ve listened to her warning. But you’ve always had a reckless streak, haven’t you? Life, after all, has a funny way of dancing with Death herself. And to you? She’s never been more beautiful.
“Go away.” she said, her voice stripped of its usual playfulness. The sharpness of her tone stung more than you’d like to admit, being the first you had heard from her in a century, but you stayed put, feet rooted to the cold pavement. She’s sat there, trembling, her arms wrapped tightly around herself like they could somehow block out the chill setting in her bones. Her shoulders hunched forward, defensive and small, nothing like the powerful witch you once knew.
Without thinking, you untangled the scarf from your neck. The soft beige fabric still holds the faintest trace of warmth as you gently draped it around her shoulders. She doesn’t resist, but she doesn’t thank you either. Her dark eyes flicked up to meet yours, just for a moment, guarded and unreadable, before dropping back down to her pale hands. Those hands clasped together tightly, her knuckles white from the effort, as if she’s trying to trap the heat that’s rapidly escaping her. You sat beside her on the bench, closer than she probably wants, until your knees press together. She doesn’t move away, but her silence felt heavier than the night air. Carefully, you reached out, cupping her cold fingers in your hands. They’re frozen to the touch, long and elegant as always, despite the way they’re trembling slightly, itching to flee from your touch, and yet, desperate for the heated comfort.
“I don’t have any gloves,” you murmured, a poor excuse for an explanation. Not that it matters. Your hands were always warmer than hers and always managed to make their way into hers.
“What’s wrong?” you asked. Her shoulders softened, just barely, and you think you might feel her fingers shift slightly against yours, hope you might feel her palms twist to wrap her fingers around yours.
But she didn’t.
“You shouldn’t…” she started, her voice quiet, fragile, but the words trail off into the cold.
You shouldn’t be here.
“I know,” you said softly, cutting her off. “But I am.” You saw the look in her eyes—the shift of calm waters against the storm brewing beneath her tightly clenched jaw, her ragged breath betraying the composure she so desperately tries to hold.
“Rio, what’s wrong? Where’s Agath—”
Before you could finish, she snatched her hands from yours as though your touch had burned. The abrupt movement knocked you against the back of the bench, as if she had actually pushed you away. Without another word, she spun on her heel and stormed off, her pace frantic, shoulders trembling. “Rio? Wait!” Your voice cracked as you called after her, your legs already moving to close the growing distance, “Rio, please! What’s happen-“
”Shut up,” Rio spat over her shoulder, her tone cruel enough to freeze the words in your throat. But as she glanced back, her eyes betrayed her; and there lied the truth. Her cheeks glistened in the dim light, a fresh stream of tears cascading down her face like a quiet admission of defeat. “Rio,” you said again, softer this time, cautious, of the wounded woman.
“Don’t call me that,” she hissed, her voice shaking. “Don’t say it like that.”
You know what she meant.
Don’t say it like you care for her.
Like you’re in love with her.
Her steps faltered, and she turned to face you fully, her arms crossing over her chest like armor hastily thrown up against your probing gaze. She looked like she wanted to fight you, to lash out and drive you away as she hid herself behind walls, but the anger in her eyes was tempered by something else—something fragile and crumbling. That part of her soul she had shared with you once before. This wasn’t the first time you’d witnessed Death’s cruelty, the way it tore through lives and left people hollow. You had seen it before, but this time, you weren’t going to let it win. Not with her.
“Don’t do that,” you whispered, stepping closer, nimble fingers hesitating, waiting for the slightest indication she’ll let you in, for the remnants of her walls to fall down.
“Don’t hide from me, Rio.”
Her breath hitched at the sound of her name. The way it left your lips felt like a one last touch, one last plea, one last kiss. For a moment, you thought she might lash out again, her walls snapping shut, impenetrable. But then something shifted. Her shoulders sagged, the fight draining out of her like a tide retreating from the shore. She stared at your hand, her eyes flickering between your outstretched fingers and your face. You don’t wait for her to make the first move, hands pulling her face into the crook of your neck, her shuddering breath warm against your skin. Her whimpers are quiet, but they echoed loud into your chest, her heartbeat rapid and raw against yours.
You heard her muffled words against your skin, faint and broken, and pulled her away just enough for your eyes to meet. Your thumbs brushed against her wet cheeks, coaxing her to speak again, though the tremble in her lips warned you of the weight of what she was about to say. “She’s gone,” she whispered, voice cracking under the pressure of holding herself together. You tightened your hold on her, pulling her closer as though your arms could shield her from the grief threatening to consume her. Your hands continued their futile attempts to wipe away her tears, even as fresh ones cascaded down. You pressed your forehead to hers, a silent plea for her to keep going, though you knew a part of you already dreaded what she would say next, of what really happened to those close to Death.
“I killed her.” The words ripped from her lips in a guttural sob, the kind that seemed to tear her apart from the inside. She collapsed into you, her weight nearly buckling your knees as she clung to you with desperate force. Her face buried itself into your neck, her tears soaking through your shirt as she poured her anguish into you, her cries now raw and unrestrained. You stood firm, steadying her as best as you could despite the waves of emotion raging between you, and for the grieving woman before you. Your hand found her dark curls, stroking them in soothing motions, while the other rubbed slow circles against her back all the way to her neck. “I’m sorry,” you murmured over and over again, your apologies feather-light against her crown. They felt insufficient, hollow even, but they were all you had to offer.
You weren’t entirely sure of the relationship between Agatha and Rio. She had never explained it fully, and you had never pressed her. From the outside, you had assumed it was similar to your relationship with Rio—intimate in a way that didn’t require a label but never crossed certain boundaries. But then you started to notice things. The way Rio’s eyes lit up whenever Agatha entered the room, as though her very presence ignited something within her. The subtle changes in her voice when she spoke to Agatha compared to you—softer, warmer, tinged with something more. And the way she leaned into her touch, like it was the only thing keeping her tethered to the earth. The only thing worth spending an eternity on this plane for. You had tried to dismiss it at first, the ignorance extending beyond your grasp, but now, holding her like this, the depth of her devastation told you there was more to it. Agatha wasn’t just someone Rio cared about—she was someone Rio loved, the only person she ever truly loved.
Rio’s sobs continued to shake her tall frame, and you held her tighter, even through your own suffering, as flashes of your last moments together crashed into you. It all made sense now. The distance. The arguments that spiraled out of nowhere. The way she’d simply disappeared, leaving you with questions that burned like open wounds, and a heart wounded by her cruelty.
She had fallen in love.
She had fallen in love with someone else.
The thought sliced through you again, sharper this time, and you had to fight the urge to pull away. To protect yourself. To let the hollow ache in your chest guide you into a defensive shell. Instead, you stayed. You held her. Because even if her heart had chosen someone else, yours still belonged to her. And you wanted to say something, anything that could offer solace. Words teetered on the edge of your tongue—a joke to lighten the air, a reassurance that she’d be okay, a confession, never able to see the light of day, that you’d buried deep for so long you weren’t sure it could ever surface. But the words lodged in your throat, too heavy, too tangled with your own grief.
So you stayed silent. This wasn’t the first time you had carried her pain over yours, and you suspect it won’t be the last. Her tears soaked through your shirt, hot and unrelenting, and her sobs turned to shuddering gasps. She clung to you as if you were the last solid thing in a world crumbling beneath her feet. And maybe, you were. Right now, you’d be whatever she needed. You pressed your lips against her cold cheek, arms still wrapped around her trembling form, “I’m here. Always.”
Even so, you couldn’t offer her what she sought, the life she once had with Agatha. That kind of love was never yours to give, never wanted by the woman in your arms. Death was never yours. But you knew you could offer her this: the steady, unwavering presence of someone who cared.
Someone who has and will always love her.
#my fics! ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹#rio vidal x reader#rio vidal#agatha harkness x rio vidal#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agathario#marvel#agatha x rio
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||Theatrics||
Summary: During a little impromptu training session, you happen to sprain your ankle. Luckily Zuko is around to help you back to Katara so she can help. Unfortunately for Zuko, you have a tendency to be slightly dramatic about your injuries.
Pairing: Zuko x Reader
Rating || Genres || Warnings: T. Romance. Fluff. Slight mention of injury but that about it.
A/N: You guys voted, so here it is! Also gif is definitely Zuko’s reactions to reader’s.....theatrics :3
"I’m dying!”
“You’re not dying Y/n.”
“Then why is the world growing dark!?”
“You probably have your eyes closed.”
"I do not need your sass while I am dying Zuko!”
“Well maybe you should shut up before I drop your dying butt.”
Smack.
“Ow!”
“Rude Zuko!”
“Thats it! You can crawl back for all I care.”
“No! Wait! Zuko! Wait!! I’ll be quiet.”
“One more word out of you, and I won’t carry you back.”
Katara looked up from where she had been mending Sokka’s shirt, again. There was no one in sight yet Zuko and Y/n’s voices were loud enough to echo along the path leading up to the main courtyard of the Ember Island Summer House. She stood, dropping her sewing to side as she quickly made her way towards the door and peered outside.
It took a minute or so, but then she saw the approaching figure of Zuko with.......you on his back. An amused smile played across the young waterbender’s lips as she watched the Fire Nation prince approach with you slung over his back, your arms wrapped around his shoulders to keep yourself in place.
“Katara! Oh! Now I won’t perish! Or perhaps I will? The pain is too much.” You moaned, throwing your head back for dramatic effect, the force of which nearly made Zuko stumble in his steps. Katara giggled as Zuko huffed in annoyance.
“She twisted her ankle.” He explained as he carried you into the courtyard with Katara trailing behind.
“And who’s fault is that? If you hadn’t startled me during my practice then I wouldn’t have twisted it.” You snapped back. Clearly the pain was making you more then a little cranky.
Zuko rolled his eyes, turning around and dropping you, rather unceremoniously onto the wooden platform that led to the rooms. You gave a little yelp, glaring at the Prince who smirked back as you rubbed your tailbone a little. Katara, ever the kind soul, carefully removed your shoe. You let out a soft hiss as the leather was slipped off.
Removing the cork from her water pouch, Katara made quick work of assessing the damage. “Well you definitely twisted it. I’ll try to heal it as much as I can, but it’ll be a little while before you’re able to walk on it properly. Probably a day or two.” You turned to glare at Zuko who rolled his eyes. “I’ve blasted you off the side of a flying bison Y/n. I don’t see you holding a grudge about that against me.” He said, referring to the days when he had spent chasing Aang and the rest of them.
“Yeah, well I got my revenge when I knocked you out with a blow to the back of your head.” As Katara started her healing process you held up a threatening finger in his direction. “You better watch out Princey, I will have my revenge.”
Zuko smirked. “What will you do? Hobble after me waving a crutch?” You growled under your breath, looking like you would leap at him at any moment. And if your ankle wasn’t throbbing so much you would have.
“Now now children. Lets not fight.” Katara said in a mocking tone as she tried to contain her laughter. You let out a small sound of relief as some of the throbbing was alleviated as Katara worked her healing abilities. “You’re a spirit-send Katara.” You said, gratitude shining in your eyes as you grinned at the girl.
Zuko frowned. “What am I? An ostrich-horse? I carried you back and you don’t call me a spirit-send.” You turned your attention back towards him, an annoyed frown creasing your forehead. “And who’s fault was it that you had to carry me back?”
“Don’t be so dramatic.”
“I am a performer, I’m supposed to be dramatic.”
“Over dramatic you mean.”
“Need I remind you, the acting company I worked for won awards for being one of the best in the Earth Kingdom.”
“Probably when you weren’t working for them.”
“As if your dramatic self is any better? Out of all of us, who’s the one moaning about his so-called honor all the time?”
“That was in the past.”
“The past was only a couple months ago, Princey.”
“Shut it Drama Queen.”
“Ah! At least I’m a rank above you, you fire-breathing-”
“Er.....guys?”
You and Zuko broke eye-contact to glare at the poor unsuspecting Avatar who had just arrived from the market with Sokka, Suki and Toph from an errand run.
“What?” The two of you snapped in unison, prompting Aang to let out a nervous laugh and slowly back off, holding his hands up in a surrendering manner.
Taking the lull in the argument, Katara quickly finished bandaging up your ankle and patted it in a reassuring manner. “There, you’ll be all better tomorrow.” You gave a small smile in thanks to the girl before gripping the sides of the wooden platform and slowly starting to stand. You tried putting some weight on your bad ankle, only to wince at the pain that radiated from there. It was much better then what it had been a few moments ago, but it still hurt.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I shall be retiring to my room.” With a haughty look in Zuko’s direction, you turned towards where you room was.
"Isn’t our room upstairs Y/n?”Toph helpfully reminded you, causing you to pause from hobbling forward. Your face fell, shoulders slumping, causing Sokka to let out a bark of laughter, only to shut up when Suki gave his shoulder a light punch.
“Hey Aang? Can Appa drop me into my room through the window?” You asked, turning to the younger boy with a pleading look. Before Aang could reply, Zuko let out a loud groan, throwing his head back to stare at the sky as he growled.
"For the love of Spirits!”
With that he stomped forward, and before you even got the chance to say anything, he had lifted you off the ground, one arm secured around your waist, the other under your knees to keep you from falling. Meanwhile, you had let out a shriek of surprise, your arms coming to wrap around his shoulders.
“If we want to defeat the Father Lord, you’d better start laying off from the FireFlakes.” He grumbled as he began to carry you towards the stairs.
“Its Fire Lord, and are you insinuating that I am fat?!”
“I said that! And I’m not insinuating, I’m stating a fact.”
Thwack!
“Ow! Will you stop hitting me?!”
“Then stop being so rude. I thought Prince’s were all about manners and chivalry when it comes to ladies.”
“Lady? You? Please! Toph is much more of a lady then you are.”
Thwack!
“You hit me one more time and I’ll drop you on these stairs.”
“Do it! I’d rather crawl up then be carried by you anyway!”
“Ungrateful brat!”
“Pouty prince!”
“Drama queen!”
“Honor bound jerk!”
Your voices started to muffle to the rest of the group as the two of you walked further into the house. The younger members of the group stood where they were, a little dumbfounded at what had just occurred.
“I bet you anything these two are gonna be even worse with their flirting when they get married.”
Sokka gaped at Toph, who stood there smirking.
“That was flirting?!” He exclaimed, prompting his girlfriend to roll her eyes at her boyfriend, smiling at how oblivious Sokka could be. Aang blinked his wide grey eyes. “You know, now that I think about it, whenever we fought Zuko in the past, Y/n always had something to say to him.”
“And he always said something back.” Katara added, the laughter obvious in her tone as she continued to listen to the muffled arguing through the wooden floor above.
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WIP Game ♡
rules: you will be given a word. share one sentence / excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.
Tagged by @gyokujyn 🩶
My word is TWIST
Snippets below the cut...
T - snippet from do you trust me with your scars enough to show me your heart (chapter 2)
The moon was quite full as he gazed into the sky. It was weird though. There was a peculiar crimson tint to that ball of light. It was in this moonlight that his skin seemed to itch less and that the burning decreased to a simmer. He became aware of that beloved aroma of peaches and spiced rum then. It made him turn toward the apartment across the way. He could see through the glass of an open window and into a room that almost mirrored his own. In it was Bucky lying prone on his bed looking directly at him. There was glimmer in his eyes that had Steve tripping over his feet to get across the space between them. He knew that look. Never had he been so grateful for the apartment between his and Bucky’s. It was just high enough that he could use it cross the distance whenever he felt the urge to visit with Bucky. He felt that urge often. He only used the front door to be respectful of his best friend’s parents. The simmer beneath his skin, that was steadily building at the look in Bucky’s eyes, had him caring very little about the proper way of doing things now. With the crimson light shining down on him from the moon, Steve stole across the distance that separated him from his Bucky. He crept through the window and almost groaned at the overwhelming scent that made up Bucky in bloom. Taking in his surroundings, he noticed the bowl of bone broth sitting on the bedside table. The low whines coming from the bed are what made him scramble over. “Stevie.” Bucky’s voice was reedy with want.
W - this is an untitled fic that came to me while working on venom!steve
What if the asset kidnaps Steve during the great search for Bucky Barnes...
That's all I've got on that so far lmfao
I - snippet from those that live between sunset and moonrise from the blade of nightshade, be my strength not my ruin series
“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” The sound of the vampire’s chuckles scent shivers down his spine, Bucky valiantly tried to keep his body from betraying him but failed. He could only be grateful that the blond didn’t comment on it. “I asked if you were all right.” The vampire was still clutching his hand. The way those cool fingers felt lightly caressing the burns caused even more slick to leak into his pants. Bucky was too outdone with his body’s responses. Never has he ever had such a strong reaction like this to anyone. “That seems like quite the burn.” “It— it doesn’t hurt too bad,” Bucky said, internally berating himself for stuttering. “So, Dr. Barnes— “How do you know my name?” He questioned the vampire, hastily stepping back only to collide with the table, dropping his bag in the process. “You’re wearing your Isipho Industries badge,” the blond said steadying him. “I’ve got to say, I’m surprised to see they hired anyone on, are you new?” “Hardly,” Bucky scoffed as he put more space between the two of them, the tome in his bag momentarily forgotten on the ground. “I’ve been working at II for about a few years now.” “Ahh, I must be out of touch then. I recently moved back to the city and haven’t really caught up on any affairs from the professional world just yet.” “You live here too?” A wry grin pulled at the corners of Steve’s lips as he nodded. “Yeah, I’m in Flatbush.” “Oh,” Bucky smiled nervously in return. “I’m over there too.” Steve hummed in surprised. “I’m really intrigued now, an omega witch in Flatbush. A scientist at II no less. They’re such an exclusive company, one of my colleagues applied for a position but was turned down in favor for someone else.” “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Did they find another job?” Bucky asked. “They did, and they’re very happy at Pym Tech.” “That’s good then.” Bucky looked past his vampire companion to see Jack eyeing the two of them suspiciously and sighed. Jack was a nosy sonovabitch and he wouldn’t put it past the guy to say anything to the coven about what he saw today. The last thing he needed was a chance meeting with a random vampire out in the open to be hot gossip straight off the press. “I was wondering, would you mind indulging my curiosity by joining me for lunch?” Bucky was taken aback by the question. He couldn’t quite believe that a vampire was asking a witch out like this. It was unheard of, and in public no less. It was against certain outdated rules that he didn’t bother to heed, but definitely didn’t think he would have a chance to break. The smile that graced the blond’s features wasn’t menacing but it did promise many things that the slick pooling in his underwear and his omega hindbrain definitely liked the idea of. He could even see a hint of sharp teeth as they peeked from the vampire’s lips. “I have plans, sorry.” He looked down at his watch and thanked his lucky stars that his lunch break truly was nearly over. “I’m late for them now, actually. If you’ll excuse me.” He was about to reach down and pick up the tome when the vampire beat him to it. The blonde handed it to him and, for a moment, their hands touched. Looking up, he could see the blond tense his jaw before putting his hand in his pocket. Bucky could have sworn that he saw something on the vampire’s palm and quirked his brow in question. Before he could attempt to ask, the blond produced a business card. It read Dr. Steven Grant Rogers with an impressive list of letters behind his name. “I’ll see you around, Dr. Barnes.”
S - snippet from the burning embers of a dying world series prequel aka stucky dune au
Steve stands at the cliff’s edge, witnessing the ships rising from the crystalline waters of Vanaheim and into the starry skies, he can’t help but think of a time when life was much simpler.
T - snippet of from what i've tasted of desire, i hold with those who play with fire aka dark twilight x stucky au
The sensation of his stomach swooping as the plane begins its descent pulls Bucky’s attention away from the open window and onto the filled page. The drawing etched onto the parchment had been transformed into the likeness of the fine line tattoo inked onto his skin. Delicate strokes mimic the lace of a garter belt. Harsh segments and bold shading depict the tale of a blade carved from bone, gifted to him by his bunǎ. It’s the barely there shadows below a cross and beads that remind him of rosaries. Bucky doesn’t understand his own fascination with them but he has drawn them ever since he can remember. It was only fitting that he had them memorialized on his flesh.
The excerpt is inspired by this photo. "Bunǎ" is grandmother in Romanian.
no pressure tags: @ellethespaceunicorn
Your word is DARK
#tumblr games#tag games#ask aspen#aspen's fics#stucky#dark twilight au#stucky dune au#all souls x mcu fusion#canon divergent au#post tws#dark & twisted fairytale#wonder if it's room in heaven for savages#blade of nightshade be my strength not my ruin#burning embers of a dying world#from what i've tasted of desire i hold with those who favor fire
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THE WARMTH OF YOUR HAND
leon kennedy x f!reader word count: 1,473 warnings: angst, mentions of leon's alcohol use, not proofread synopsis: leon doesn't believe in much. but if there's one thing he knows is for certain to be true, it's that he doesn't deserve you.
Leon doesn’t believe in much. The kind of work he does has stripped him of that ability. He stopped believing in more than just God, he stopped believing in people, in the world, in himself. Leon doesn’t believe in much but if there was one thing he could know for certain to be true, it was that he didn’t deserve her.
How could he?
She sleeps in zen beside him, one arm folded beneath her pillow, the other resting on the small sliver of space on the mattress between them where he dare not touch. She must be dreaming, because Leon can see her eyes rolling beneath their lids. She must be dreaming of something good, because Leon traces the small curve of her lips, a peaceful, subconscious smile he finds himself envious of.
Leon cannot remember the last time he, himself, had a good dream. His ability to dream must’ve been stripped away along with his ability to believe long ago, when he learned just how short his luck had run out. Perhaps his inability to dream was why she took him so much by surprise.
He’d learned to accept that his life moving forward would always be far from normal long ago. Any dreams he might’ve had prior— whether it was the so-called “American Dream” of white picket fences and a golden retriever in a perfectly trimmed, green front lawn and a litter of kids that look just like him or not— he knew was far beyond his reach now.
It was why he turned to drink in the first place. He mourned the loss of a life he would never know, mourned the death of his former self: the cop, the rookie, the young adult, the teenager, the boy. It was unlike any other pain he knew— it could not be suppressed with medicine or bandages— so all he knew to do was to make do with what he had: drink.
It was a time in his life he wished he could forget. Funny how it works— somehow, he’d lost any sense of the man he was before Raccoon City despite how desperately he tried to cling to the dying embers of his boyhood, whilst simultaneously unable to forget the man he’d temporarily become. Was this some force punishing him? Was this his punishment for being unbelieving?
Leon didn’t know, and the more he tried to make sense of his fucked-up life, the more his head would pound, the more he’d feel himself inching closer to the bottle he swore he’d never touch again when he met her. These thoughts of his, these doubts, this disbelief in himself and anything around him, was what made him feel so undeserving of this woman— this woman who was currently bundled beneath sheets and a duvet, lost in dream, so clean, so pure and entirely too good to be true.
Sometimes Leon thinks he must not have lost the ability to dream after all, for he cannot stop thinking that all of this is just an illusion, this woman but a mere figment of whatever small part of him that still believed, and he’d wake up to Raccoon City, or Spain, or who fucking knows what.
Leon’s molars sink into the inside of his cheek in hopes to dull the ache prodding against the crown of his head and blinks down at her hand, still resting in the space between them. The only source of light in her bedroom is the moonlight peeking through her curtains but it’s enough for him to make out her skin, to make out the lines etched into the tops of her fingers.
Her knuckles are not blue, or purple, or calloused, or terribly scarred. Her knuckles are clean and were always soft to the touch— Leon closes his eyes and can feel the phantom of her knuckles dragging along his cheek, over his scars, over the moles he couldn’t quite feel but knew were there. He inhales sharply and opens his eyes, pushing himself into an upright position, exhaling heavily as he drags a palm— a rough, calloused palm— over his face.
He peers around the dark, moon-lit room, at his jacket slung messily over the back of her vanity chair, one of his shoes beside her closed bedroom door, the other rolled onto its side beneath her closed wardrobe. He realizes just how out of place he feels and is— and it serves as just another reminder that he doesn’t deserve to be here, he doesn’t deserve her, he doesn’t deserve any of this.
He inhales shakily and drops his head, rubbing the crown of his head and his temple with the pads of his thumb and forefinger in an attempt to ease the ache festering there. The bed suddenly feels too warm and makes him feel even more out of place but he can’t bring himself to pull away from it, not when he can feel her feet brushing up against his leg as she squirms in her sleep.
His heart begins to pound in his chest. His mind begins to reel.
You do not belong here, a slick, oily voice curls around his ears and for a moment, he thinks he must be back in Spain and this is all just some sick form of joke. You are poison, and you are ruining her. You are an imposter, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You should leave. She does not want you here. You do not deserve her. And you will never deserve her. You do not deserve her, you do not deserve her, you do not deserve her, youdonotdeserveheryoudonotdeserveheryoudonot—
“Leon?”
Her voice, thick with sleep but still devastatingly sweet, interrupts the voice in his head and he snaps his eyes back open, searching through the wrinkles in the duvet because he doesn’t know what to do but he knows he cannot look at her. If he looks at her, he won’t ever leave. If he looks at her, he’ll only linger and ruin her further. If he looks at her, he will be her demise. He just knows it. It’s the one thing he believes in.
He hears the sheets ruffle and the bed creak as she moves behind him and he suddenly feels something against his elbow. Leon startles and flinches away, and he swears he can hear a faint gasp behind him. His brows knit together and he bows his head, squeezing his lids closed.
“What is it?” She asks him, alert, aware something is wrong. Damn her, he thinks. She’s much too intuitive for her own good.
When he doesn’t reply, she asks again, daring to inch closer to his side. He can see a few locks of her hair fall into the outskirts of vision and his breath hitches in his throat. It suddenly feels like he can’t breathe and he thinks he might break out into a sweat and he feels so out of place and so undeserving that he thinks he’ll explode. His breathing begins to quicken and his mind begins to spiral and vision begins to blur and he doesn’t know what to do because he can’t move and—
“Hey,” her voice sounds closer now and he knows she must be because he feels her palm press firm into the center of his chest and his eyes snap back open to find hers already staring back. “Head’s being loud again, hm?”
Leon’s brow dips and his gaze softens because he knows he cannot win when she looks at him like that, when she speaks to him like that, when she knows him like that when everyone else failed to. He’s suddenly aware of just how hard he’s breathing because his gaze drops to her arm and how it rises with his chest. Her hand is warm against his chest but not so much that it is stifling, and not so less that his bones catch a chill. Her warmth is just right and Leon closes in on himself and lets his head drop to her shoulder, closing his eyes and inhaling, breathing her in.
“Oh Leon,” she murmurs against the top of his head, her hand slithering away from his chest to rest warmly on the back of his neck, her other weaving through his tendrils and comfortably tightening around his locks. “Why don’t we lay back down, yeah?”
Leon doesn’t believe in much. The one thing he knows for certain he can believe in is that he does not deserve her. He doesn’t deserve her speaking to him like this, touching him like this, caring for him like this. But as she eases him back down into the mattress and cradles his head closer to her chest, he begins to ponder something he’d never pondered before: perhaps there is a way to disprove any certain belief.
a/n: it has been... quite awhile since i last wrote something. admittedly, i haven't even been working on my books (thank you work and college 🫠) but... a lot has happened the past few weeks. a lot of things from lots of different reasons. so i just really wanted to write some comfort :) (of course i had to throw in some angst)
just a side note: i wrote this literally twenty minutes ago so this is not proofread whatsoever 🤩
TAGLIST:
@chaoticevilbakugo
@bxbyyyjocelyn
@luckypurins
@corruptcoder
@glovesandhorror
@angelstargel
@illsksm
@echo1200
@d3adp00ls
@woahhajime
@leonkennedygvrl
@elliewilliamshotwife
@altissia-09
@danigirls-missions
@gorrykookie
@luvrgreyy
@arisksywlkr
#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon kennedy x y/n#leon resident evil#leon s kennedy#resident evil#leon kennedy fanfic#resident evil fanfiction#resident evil fic#leon scott kennedy#leon kennedy fic
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Humans are Weird – Nonsense – Short, Absurd, Science Fiction Story
#SciFi #Aliens #BettyAdams #Reading #Author
Amazon
B&N
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Humans+are+Weird
Powell’s
Kobo
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/search?query=Humans+are+Weird
Google
Signed
#hfy#humans are weird#Betty Adams#Dying Embers#book#comedy#funny#comic#jokes#laugh#chuckle#aliens#sciencefiction#science fiction#sci fi#good books#sci-fi#space#spaceships#planets#earth is a death world#earth is space australia#humans are orcs#humans are space orcs#absurdity#humor#coffee table book#spiders#quilxtch#quilx'tch
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"You're the loss of my life" | part 2.
outbreak! Joel Miller x f!reader
part one here
summary: you and Joel went from one kiss to getting married to becoming strangers. In the aftermath, some scars hadn't healed. w.c: 12,9k (longest piece of writing I've ever written) warning: some fluff, angst HEAVY angst, mentions of dead, mentions of blood. Some events of the game will be mentioned here but they are not the same. Please forgive any grammar mistakes, since this one is so long I didn't check on everything. Paragraphs in cursive contain flashbacks. a/n: Thank you so much for the amount of love you gave to part 1, I Swear I can't put into words how wonderful was to read all your comments and thoughts. This part ended up being totally different from what I started writing but is already here, please feel free to comment or share your thoughts with me, I'm really excited to read what you think! Happy reading p.s, there is a a/n at the end :)
dividers by @/saradika-graphics
You hadn’t counted the hours, nor the seconds after it happened. The pictures of blood and yelp were the only things ringing in your ears as a solemn sound taunting your worst nightmares, which became real.
Your face was dry from the salty tears dripping from your eyes
“It’s done.” Tommy said, tone somber as they look on his eyes.
Neither you or Joel spoke. He was still, 5 ft away from you, his arms red from the blood drying on his skin.
Sarah’s blood.
Your painful sob broke the stillness that was suffocating you three in a moment where words were not enough to describe the pain. The feeling of being ripped out by life itself.
You tried to stand up, walking towards the tree where Tommy had buried her, but your legs shivered, making you fall on your knees on the grass. Tommy wrapped your arms around you
Your painful sob broke the stillness that suffocated the three of you, in a moment where words were not enough to describe the pain. The feeling of being ripped apart by life itself.
You tried to stand up, walking towards the tree where Tommy had buried her, but your legs shivered, making you fall to your knees on the grass. Tommy wrapped his arms around you, trying to offer some semblance of comfort in a world that had suddenly become so cruel and unforgiving.
Joel remained motionless, his eyes fixed on the ground, his mind seemingly a million miles away. The weight of his grief was a palpable thing, a dark cloud that hung over him, suffocating and relentless.
As Tommy held you, you looked over at Joel, searching for some sign that he was still there, that he was still the man you had loved and married. But all you saw was a broken shell, a man consumed by his own despair.
“Joel,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. “We need to be strong. For Sarah. For each other.”
He didn’t respond, his gaze never leaving the ground. The silence stretched on, a heavy, oppressive thing that threatened to crush you both.
Tommy tightened his grip around you, his own grief evident in the lines of his face. “We’ll get through this,” he said softly, though his voice lacked conviction. “We have to.”
You nodded, though you weren’t sure you believed him. The world had become a dark and terrifying place, and you didn’t know how to find the light again.
But as you looked at Joel, you knew that you couldn’t give up. You couldn’t let Sarah’s death be the end of everything. You had to find a way to keep going, to find a reason to keep fighting.
For her. For Joel. For yourself.
And so, as you knelt there in the grass, your heart heavy with grief, you made a silent vow. You would survive. You would find a way to live in this new, terrifying world.
Because you had to. Because there was no other choice.
Another night had enveloped the sky, the darkness a heavy blanket that seemed to press down on you from all sides. You had fallen asleep—or at least that’s what Joel and Tommy thought—as you lay curled up under a thin blanket near the dying embers of the campfire. The exhaustion from the day’s events had left you physically drained, but your mind remained restless, haunted by the images of Sarah and the relentless march of time.
The quiet murmur of Joel and Tommy’s conversation floated over to you, their voices low and filled with an unspoken tension. You kept your eyes closed, not wanting to intrude, but unable to help listening in.
“I just don’t know how to move on,” Joel’s voice was a strained whisper, thick with pain. “Every time I close my eyes, I see her face. I hear her voice.”
Tommy’s response was equally quiet, a comforting murmur in the darkness. “We’ll get through this, Joel. It’s hard, I know, but we’ll find a way.”
Joel’s voice cracked as he spoke again, the words tearing at your heart. “I should have saved her, Tommy. I should have done something.”
“You did everything you could,” Tommy insisted, his voice firm. “There was nothing more you could have done.”
Joel’s reply was almost inaudible, a broken confession that sent a chill down your spine. “If she hadn’t been there...if I hadn’t had to worry about her...maybe I could have saved Sarah.”
He was talking about you.
The silence that followed was deafening, the weight of Joel’s words hanging heavily in the air. Your breath caught in your throat, your heart pounding in your chest as you lay there, paralyzed by the enormity of what you had just heard.
Tommy’s voice was gentle, but there was an edge to it, a protective anger that surprised you. “You don’t mean that, Joel. You can’t blame her for what happened. It’s not fair.”
Joel’s sigh was a long, drawn-out sound, filled with resignation and regret. “I know it’s not fair. But I can’t help it, Tommy. I look at her, and all I see is what I lost. All I feel is this...anger. And I hate myself for it.”
You squeezed your eyes shut tighter, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. The pain of Joel’s words was a sharp, physical ache, a knife twisting in your gut. The man you loved, the man you had always relied on, felt you were a burden, a reason for his greatest loss.
Tommy’s voice softened, a gentle plea. “You need to talk to her, Joel. You both need each other now more than ever. Don’t let this tear you apart.”
There was a long pause, and then Joel spoke again, his voice barely a whisper. “I don’t know if I can, Tommy. I don’t know if I have anything left to give.”
The tears finally escaped, silent trails down your cheeks as you lay there, feeling more alone than you ever had. The love you had once shared with Joel felt like a distant memory, a fragile thing that had shattered under the weight of your loss.
The next morning dawned bleak and gray, the sky a canvas of muted clouds. You woke early, the remnants of Joel and Tommy's conversation from the night before echoing in your mind. The pain and betrayal still stung, a constant reminder of how much had changed in such a short time. You quietly gathered your things, making sure not to wake them as you slipped away from the camp.
You needed time alone, a chance to clear your head and process the overwhelming emotions that threatened to consume you. The forest surrounding the camp was thick and dark, a labyrinth of trees and shadows that offered a temporary escape from the crushing reality of your grief.
Hours passed as you wandered aimlessly, the solitude a bitter comfort. You tried to make sense of Joel's words, to understand the depth of his pain and the burden of his guilt. But the hurt was too fresh, too raw, and all you could feel was the aching void where your heart used to be.
When you finally returned to the camp, Joel was waiting for you, his expression a storm of worry and anger. "Where the hell have you been?" he shouted, his voice echoing through the trees. "You can't just walk off like that!"
You stared at him, your own emotions swirling beneath the surface. But the words wouldn't come. You felt too empty, too drained to respond. The memory of his confession hung between you like a dark cloud, a silent reminder of the chasm that had opened up between you.
Joel's anger faltered as he looked at you, his eyes searching yours for some sign of understanding. He stepped closer, his voice softening. "Please, don't do that again. I can't... I can't lose you too."
Still, you remained silent, the words caught in your throat. You wanted to tell him how much his words had hurt, how deeply they had cut you. But the pain was too great, the wound too fresh.
Seeing your silence, Joel's face crumpled, the anger giving way to a deep, abiding sorrow. He reached out, wrapping his arms around you in a desperate embrace. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice breaking. "I'm so sorry."
You stood there, enveloped in his arms, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. But the sadness was a heavy weight in your chest, a barrier that kept you from fully returning his embrace. The words he had spoken the night before replayed in your mind, a constant reminder of the distance that now lay between you.
For the sake of your marriage, for the fragile hope that someday things might be different, you decided to pretend. To bury the hurt and the anger deep inside, to put on a brave face and move forward as best you could.
You pulled back slightly, looking up at Joel with tear-filled eyes. "Let's just... let's just try to get through this," you said softly, your voice trembling. "One day at a time."
Joel nodded, his expression a mix of relief and regret. "One day at a time," he echoed, his grip tightening around you as if afraid to let go.
Four months had gone by in mere seconds. The story you and Joel carefully built waltzed into flames, and you didn’t look back after that house was set on fire. You had made your point clear, and you kept an oath in your words. You avoided Joel and forced yourself to pretend he didn’t exist. He became just a stranger you once shared your bare soul and body with.
It was not easy. Not for you, not for him. Your feelings were far from being buried, but in the midst of chaos, you couldn’t allow yourself to die from his words. A man falling out of love with you wasn’t the worst thing that had happened to you.
During the time your garden dried of thirst, a new arrival to Jackson caught your attention. A man. Dr. Matt Carter was a soft-spoken, kind-hearted man with a gentle demeanor and a wealth of medical knowledge. His arrival brought fresh air to the whole community. With his skills and charm, you found yourself drawn to his quiet compassion for others, as if this reeked world hadn’t corrupted him into becoming just a gosht of what he once was.
And you found yourself looking for that.
You and Matt had spent time together, sharing stories, sharing time, and the scars that had wounded both of your hearts. He lost his family during the first days of the outbreak, and you had lost yours somehow. His presence brought warmth to your soul; there was a tentative connection born from respect and understanding, hitting you like a wave.
And as if you were falling for another man, Joel watched from afar; his expression remained unreadable every time he had a glimpse of you in town. The sight of you smiling, genuinely smiling after everything he had put you through, stirred something within him—a mix of longing and regret that he had taken you for granted.
He had taken you for granted. He realized that now was far too late. His actions and choices had driven a wedge between you, and now he was paying the price. You had moved on; you had found someone who could offer you the warmth and kindness he had failed to provide. And he was left with the ashes of a life he had burned down with his own hands.
Ellie had become distant, her eyes reflecting a hurt and disappointment that cut Joel to the core. She no longer sought his guidance or comfort, retreating into her world, leaving him more isolated than ever. And Sophie... Oh god, Joel couldn't even bear to stomach her. The guilt and shame were too overwhelming, a constant reminder of his betrayal, but as he followed the figment of his worst intentions inside his head, he ended up in the same bed with her almost every night.
Every night, the guilt clawed at him as he sought solace in Sophie's arms, trying to escape the suffocating regret that consumed him. He hated himself for it, for betraying you even further, but he was trapped in a cycle of self-destruction that he couldn't seem to break free from.
One night, after another argument with Ellie that ended with her storming off, Joel found himself once again in Sophie's bed. The familiarity of her touch did nothing to ease the ache in his heart. Instead, it only deepened the chasm of regret and self-loathing that threatened to swallow him whole.
As he lay there, staring at the ceiling, the weight of his choices pressed down on him like a suffocating blanket. He couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't keep hurting you, hurting himself, and destroying everything that had once been good in his life.
He slipped out of bed quietly, careful not to wake Sophie, and dressed quickly. He needed to clear his head to find some semblance of clarity amidst the chaos of his emotions. He wandered the dark streets of Jackson, the cold night air biting at his skin, but he barely felt it.
His thoughts were a tangled mess of regret and longing, and he found himself standing outside your house, the warm glow of the lights inside casting a soft halo around the doorway. He could see you through the window, laughing with Matt, and the sight of your happiness was like a knife to his heart.
He turned away, unable to bear it, and walked aimlessly until he found himself at the edge of the community, where the world beyond Jackson's walls loomed dark and foreboding. He sat down on a bench, his head in his hands, and let the tears fall.
Every night, the guilt clawed at him as he sought solace in Sophie's arms, trying to escape the suffocating regret that consumed him. He hated himself for it, for betraying you even further, but he was trapped in a cycle of self-destruction that he couldn't seem to break free from.
One night, after another argument with Ellie that ended with her storming off, Joel found himself once again in Sophie's bed. The familiarity of her touch did nothing to ease the ache in his heart. Instead, it only deepened the chasm of regret and self-loathing that threatened to swallow him whole.
As he lay there, staring at the ceiling, the weight of his choices pressed down on him like a suffocating blanket. He couldn't keep doing this. He couldn't keep hurting you, hurting himself, and destroying everything that had once been good in his life.
He slipped out of bed quietly, careful not to wake Sophie, and dressed quickly. He needed to clear his head to find some semblance of clarity amidst the chaos of his emotions. He wandered the dark streets of Jackson, the cold night air biting at his skin, but he barely felt it.
His thoughts were a tangled mess of regret and longing, and he found himself standing outside your house, the warm glow of the lights inside casting a soft halo around the doorway. He could see you through the window, laughing with Matt, and the sight of your happiness was like a knife to his heart.
He turned away, unable to bear it, and walked aimlessly until he found himself at the edge of the community, where the world beyond Jackson's walls loomed dark and foreboding. He sat down on a bench, his head in his hands, and let the tears fall.
"Hey."
Joel looked up to see Tommy approaching, his expression a mix of sympathy and concern. "What are you doing out here, Joel?" Tommy asked, sitting down beside him.
Joel shook his head, unable to find the words to explain the turmoil inside him. "I can't keep doing this, Tommy," he finally said, his voice raw with emotion. "I can't keep hurting everyone."
Tommy placed a hand on Joel's shoulder, his grip firm and reassuring. "You gotta find a way to make things right, Joel. For yourself and for them."
Joel nodded, but the path to redemption felt impossible to navigate. "I don't even know where to start," he admitted.
"Start by being honest," Tommy said gently. "With yourself and with them. It's the only way you're going to find any kind of peace."
Joel sighed, knowing Tommy was right, but the thought of facing you, of admitting everything, filled him with a deep sense of dread. Still, he knew he couldn't keep running from his mistakes. He had to face them head-on, no matter how painful it might be.
The morning air was crisp and cool as Joel and Tommy walked toward the communal dining hall. The sun had just begun to rise, casting a golden glow over the town of Jackson. Joel's mind was heavy with the conversation from the night before, but he knew Tommy was right. He had to start making things right, even if it felt impossible.
As they entered the dining hall, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and a cooked breakfast greeted them. The room was filled with the chatter of early risers, everyone eager to start their day. Joel's eyes scanned the room, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw you.
You were standing by the serving area, helping with the morning tasks. Your smile was warm as you handed a plate to one of the residents, your laughter ringing out softly. It was a sound Joel hadn't heard in a long time, and it struck him with a bittersweet pang of nostalgia.
Tommy nudged Joel gently. "She's been helping out in the mornings," he explained quietly. "Trying to stay busy, I think."
Joel nodded, his gaze fixed on you. He hadn't seen you like this in months—so alive and vibrant—and it filled him with a mix of longing and regret. He wanted to go over to you to talk, but the weight of his mistakes held him back.
"Come on," Tommy said, leading him to an empty table. They sat down, and Tommy grabbed two mugs of coffee from a passing tray, handing one to Joel. "You should talk to her," he urged, his voice low and earnest. "It's not going to get any easier."
Joel watched as you handed out another plate, your smile lighting up the room. Just as he mustered the courage to stand up and walk over to you, Matt appeared at your side. The doctor wrapped his arm around you and kissed your temple, a gesture so intimate and familiar that it made Joel's heart ache.
He froze, his intentions crumbling. The warmth and ease between you and Matt were unmistakable, a stark contrast to the cold distance that had grown between you and Joel. Tommy, noticing the change in Joel's demeanor, followed his gaze and sighed.
Joel didn’t know, but your heart felt heavy at the sight of him, weighed down by a complicated mix of emotions. Seeing him standing there, so vulnerable and sincere, had stirred something inside you that you had tried to bury for months.
You tried to focus back on Matt, his kind eyes filled with spark. "Is everything okay?" he asked softly, his hand gently touching your arm.
You nodded, forcing a smile. "Yeah.”
Matt gave you a reassuring smile. "Take your time," he said. "I'm here if you need to talk."
You appreciated his support, but your thoughts were consumed by Joel. Despite everything that had happened, the sight of him standing there, so lost and full of regret, tugged at your heartstrings. You remembered the man he used to be man you had fallen in love with.
As you tried to focus on the tasks at hand, your gaze kept drifting back to Joel. He was sitting with Tommy, his shoulders slumped and his eyes downcast. The sight of him like that broke your heart all over again. You could see the pain etched into his features, the remorse and longing that mirrored your own feelings.
The memories of your life together flooded back—moments of joy, field dreams, and quiet nights. It was hard to reconcile those memories with the man who had hurt you so deeply. Yet, despite everything, a part of you still cared for him and still wanted to believe that there was a chance for redemption.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Four more months passed; that meant you and Joel hadn’t spoken to each other in eight months, and that was everything you could think about. The silence between you had become a constant, oppressive presence in your life. Despite your best efforts to move on, Joel's absence was a gaping wound that refused to heal. During this time, your relationship with Matt has grown closer. He had become a steady presence in your life, offering you kindness and understanding in a world that often felt devoid of both.
So, as these months went by, doubts began to creep into your mind. Every time you were with Matt, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. The shadow of your past with Joel loomed large, casting a pall over your attempts to forge a new chance.
Winter was fast approaching, and Jackson was bustling with preparations for the colder months. That night, the town had organized a party. The community gathered in the large hall, the warmth of the fire and the sound of music creating a temporary respite from the harsh reality outside.
You were with Matt, trying to enjoy the festivities, but the weight of your unresolved feelings made it difficult to fully immerse yourself in the celebration. You found yourself glancing around, half-expecting to see Joel in the crowd, even though you knew it was unlikely.
Matt noticed your distraction and leaned in closer, his brow furrowing with concern. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice gentle but tinged with worry.
You forced a smile, nodding. "Yeah, I'm just thinking about everything that's happened."
Matt's expression softened, and he reached out to take your hand. "I know it's been tough, but we're here now. Together."
"I appreciate you spending time with me," Matt said, his eyes warm and sincere. "It's been easy adjusting to everything here, but your company has made it even easier."
You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "I'm glad we met, Matt. You've been a great help to all of us, and it's nice to have someone to talk to."
You squeezed his hand, appreciating his support, but the doubt still lingered. As the night wore on, you tried to push your feelings aside and focus on the present, but it was a losing battle.
Later in the evening, you and Matt found a quieter corner of the hall. He looked at you, his eyes searching yours. "I've been meaning to talk to you," he began, his voice serious.
You nodded, bracing yourself for the conversation you knew was coming.
"I care about you a lot," Matt continued, "and I want to take this relationship to the next level. But I need to know if you're truly ready for that."
Your heart clenched at his words. You wanted to be ready to move forward and leave the past behind, but doubt gnawed at you. "Matt, I don't know if I can," you admitted, your voice trembling. "There's so much I haven't dealt with, and I don't want to hurt you."
Matt's expression hardened, and he pulled his hand away. "I can't keep waiting forever," he said, frustration creeping into his voice. "I've been patient, but it feels like you're still holding onto something—or someone."
Matt's expression hardened, and he pulled his hand away. "I can't keep waiting forever," he said, frustration creeping into his voice. "I've been patient, but it feels like you're still holding onto something—or someone."
The truth of his words hit you like a punch to the gut. You had been holding onto Joel, to the memories and the pain. You couldn't deny it any longer. "I'm sorry," you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes. "I don't want to hurt you, but I can't ignore my feelings."
Matt sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I understand, but I can't keep doing this. I need someone who is all in, not someone who's still tied to their past, nor someone who wants to sleep with me."
Before you could respond, he stood up and walked away, leaving you alone in the corner of the hall. The weight of your unresolved feelings and the consequences of your indecision pressed down on you, and you felt more lost than ever.
You stood up, needing some fresh air, and walked out of the hall. The cold night air bit at your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth inside. You wrapped your arms around yourself and took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing thoughts.
The night was clear, the stars twinkling above you, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to feel the full weight of your emotions. You knew you couldn't keep running from the past, but facing it felt like an insurmountable task.
As you stood there, lost in your thoughts, you couldn't help but wonder where Joel was and if he was struggling with the same unresolved feelings that haunted you.
Because you thought he deserved it.
The dim light from the streetlamp outside your window casts long shadows across the room, its faint glow barely illuminating the small apartment. You had fallen into a restless sleep, your dreams plagued by memories of the past and fears of the future. The mattress beneath you was thin and uncomfortable, and the scratchy blanket offered little warmth against the cold reality of the world outside.
The sensation of an arm wrapping around your waist jolted you awake. Your heart raced, and for a moment, you were disoriented, caught between the remnants of a dream and the harshness of reality. You tensed, ready to defend yourself if necessary, but then you recognized the familiar touch and the scent that belonged to Joel.
"It's just me," he whispered, his voice rough and weary. The tension in your body eased slightly, but the unease remained.
"Where were you?" You asked, your voice barely more than a whisper, the worry evident in your tone. "It's past 2 AM."
Joel sighed, his breath warm against the back of his neck. "Out scavenging," he replied, his voice heavy with exhaustion. "We needed more supplies, and I couldn't sleep."
You turned to face him, your eyes searching for his in the dim light. The lines of worry and fatigue etched into his face were more pronounced, a testament to the weight he carried on his shoulders. "You can't keep doing this, Joel," you said softly, your hand resting on his cheek. "You need to rest too."
"I know," he admitted, his eyes closing as he leaned into your touch. "I just... I can't stop thinking about everything. About Sarah, about you, about how we're going to survive."
Your heart ached at his words. The pain of loss and the burden of survival were constant companions in your lives. "We'll get through this," you said, your voice filled with a determination that belied your own fears. "Together."
Joel's eyes opened, and he looked at you with a mix of gratitude and sorrow. "I don't deserve you," he murmured, his voice barely audible. "But I'm so damn grateful you're here."
You leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead. "We're in this together," you repeated, your voice firm. "No matter what."
You had never told him you had heard the words.
He pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you with a desperate intensity, as if he feared losing you too. You could feel the rapid beat of his heart against your chest; the shared rhythm was a reminder that, despite everything, you were still alive and still fighting.
As you lay there in the darkness, holding each other close, the world outside the tiny apartment seemed to fade away.
You stood there, staring up at the night sky, lost in your thoughts. The cold air nipped at your skin, but you welcomed the sharpness. It kept you grounded and reminded you that you were still here, still feeling, even if every emotion seemed to tear at you from the inside.
A voice broke through your reverie, soft but unmistakable. "It's a clear night, right?"
Startled, you turned to see Joel standing a few feet away, his hands shoved into his pockets. The lines on his face seemed deeper in the moonlight, and his eyes held a mixture of emotions that mirrored your own.
After eight months, you were there face-to-face.
"Joel," you said, your voice barely more than a whisper. "What are you doing here?"
He shrugged slightly, the motion almost imperceptible. "I needed some air. I saw you out here. I thought maybe you could use some company."
You looked back up at the sky, trying to steady your breathing. "I'm not sure I can handle this conversation right now."
Joel took a step closer, his presence both comforting and suffocating at the same time. "I don't want to push you," he said softly. "I just felt like you might need someone to talk to."
You let out a bitter laugh, the sound harsh in the quiet night. "Talk? What is there to say, Joel? Everything's so messed up."
He nodded, his gaze dropping to the ground. "I know. I never wanted things to end up like this. I messed up more than I can ever make right."
You shook your head, feeling the sting of tears again. “You ruin everything.”
No more words came out of his mouth, and you closed your eyes, hoping he would leave you alone.
"How long?" Joel asked finally, his voice breaking the silence. "How long have you been with the doctor?”
You looked at him, and the vulnerability in his eyes made your heart ache. "We're just friends, Joel. He helps me cope with everything. But it's not what you think."
Joel's shoulders slumped, relief mingling with the guilt in his eyes. "I don't know what I think anymore," he admitted. "I just know that I can't keep pretending like this doesn't hurt. Seeing you with him reminds me of what I lost. What I threw away."
+++
The room was dark, illuminated only by the soft glow of the moonlight streaming through the small window. You and Joel had finally found a place to rest in Jackson, a sanctuary after months of navigating through the states with Ellie. It felt surreal to be in a bed again, to have a roof over your heads and a semblance of normalcy.
You lay beside Joel, listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing. The warmth of his body next to yours was a comfort you had almost forgotten. As you turned to face him, you saw his eyes were open, gazing at you with a tenderness that made your heart swell.
"I can't believe we're here," you whispered, your voice barely audible in the stillness of the night.
Joel reached out, his fingers gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. "Me neither," he replied softly. "Feels like a dream."
You smiled, leaning into his touch. "A good dream."
He nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "I know it's been hard," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Everything we've been through... but we're here now. And I want you to know that I love you. Always have, always will."
The words took your breath away. It had been so long since you had heard them, since you had felt the certainty of his love. Tears welled up in your eyes as you reached out, cupping his face in your hands.
"I love you too, Joel," you whispered, your voice breaking. "More than anything."
He pulled you close, his arms wrapping around you as if he never wanted to let go. You buried your face in his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart, and for the first time in a long while, you felt a sense of peace. The world outside might have been falling apart, but in that moment, you had each other, and that was enough.
Joel’s words cut through the night air like a blade. “Sophie is pregnant.”
You felt your breath catch, the weight of his revelation sinking in. Anger, hurt, and confusion are all mixed together in a tumultuous storm inside you. “What do you want me to do? To kill him?” you retorted, your voice sharp with sarcasm and pain.
Joel shook his head, his expression somber. “It isn’t mine.”
“Good,” you snapped. “I can't say what kind of mother Sophie will be, but that child doesn't deserve a father like you.”
Joel flinched at your words, the sting of them evident in his eyes.
“How do you know it’s not yours?” you asked.
“Because she is two months old,” Joel said, his voice steady but filled with a weary resignation. “And do you think I would have the strength to be with her after what happened?”
You stared at him, your heart pounding. The weight of the past, the betrayal, and the lingering feelings between you made it hard to breathe. “It’s not like you care about someone’s feelings,” you spat, your voice trembling with emotion.
“Come on,” Joel pleaded, his eyes filled with desperate earnestness. “You should stop being this unfair.”
“Unfair?” You echoed, your voice rising. “You think I’m being unfair? After everything you’ve done?”
Joel took a step closer, his eyes pleading with you to understand. “I know I’ve made mistakes. I know I’ve hurt you. But I never wanted things to turn out like this. I never wanted to lose you.”
“Then why?” you demanded, tears streaming down your face. “Why did you do it? Why did you throw everything away?”
Joel ran a hand through his hair, frustration and regret etched into his features. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice breaking. “I was lost. I was hurting. And I made a terrible mistake. But I never stopped loving you. Not for a second.”
He never stopped loving you; he said those words.
You shook your head, and the pain in your chest was almost unbearable. “Loving me wasn’t enough, Joel. It wasn’t enough to keep you from hurting me. And now... now I don’t know if I can ever forgive you.”
Joel’s shoulders slumped, the weight of your words crushing him. “I understand,” he said quietly. “But I need you to know that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make things right. To earn your trust back. Even if it takes the rest of my life.”
You looked at him, the man you had once loved with all your heart, and felt a flicker of the old connection between you. The weight of unspoken words and lingering pain hung in the air between you, and you took a deep breath, needing to finally voice what had been haunting you for so long.
"After Sarah died..." you began, your voice trembling. "I know you spent weeks wishing it would have been me instead of her. Don’t try to deny it. I heard you the night after. You and Tommy were talking, and he was telling you not to push me away, and you said, "
"She was our daughter," Joel interrupted, his eyes glistening with tears as he realized how horrible he had been to you. "You know what it felt like to lose her."
"I know," you replied, your voice soft but steady. "It would make you feel better to know I did it too, but that's the difference between us. I would never wish that because you mean everything to me, and without Sarah, I needed you to keep going."
Joel's expression crumbled, the weight of your words breaking through the walls he had built around his heart. He took a step closer, his hands trembling as he reached out to you.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I was so lost in my grief that I couldn't see how much you were hurting too. I pushed you away when I should have held you closer."
You looked into his eyes, seeing the raw vulnerability and regret there. It was a glimpse of the man you had once loved—the man you had hoped he could be again.
"I needed you, Joel," you said, your voice breaking. "I needed you to be there for me, but you shut me out. And then... then you betrayed me in the worst possible way."
Joel nodded, tears streaming down his face. "I know. And I can't change what I've done. But I want to make things right, if you'll let me. I want to be the man you deserve—the man who can be there for you like I should have been. All over man”
You closed your eyes, the weight of his words settling over you.
Joel's gaze softened, his eyes searching yours with a mix of sorrow and understanding. "I was scared," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "Scared of reopening old wounds, scared of facing my own guilt and grief, I thought if I buried it deep enough, it would eventually fade away. But I was wrong."
You felt a lump form in your throat at his words, the pain of years of unspoken grief rising to the surface. "I was scared too," you confessed, your voice barely more than a whisper. "Scared of losing you, scared of facing the reality of what we had lost together."
As Joel's words hung heavy in the air, you felt a surge of anger and betrayal rising within you. "You're going to talk about her now?" You spat, your voice tinged with bitterness. "You never mentioned her because you felt it was better to pretend, she didn't exist?"
Joel recoiled at the accusation, his eyes filled with pain. "You don't get to tell me how I should feel," he protested, his voice shaking with emotion. "I loved her too, you know. Losing her was... it was the hardest thing I've ever been through. Because when I saved you, she died,"
"So, letting my baby die was your revenge?"
"It was my baby too," Joel insisted, his voice pleading. "I would have given anything to save him; you know that."
You shook your head, tears stinging your eyes. "You're..." you started, unable to find the words to express the depth of your pain and anger. "I fucking despise you, Joel," you finally spat, the words heavy with the weight of your broken heart. "Fuck you, fuck Sophie, fuck everything that..."
But before you could finish, Joel's voice cut through the chaos, soft and filled with longing. "I miss you," he whispered, his words echoing in the space between you.
"You have to," you replied bitterly, your heart aching with the rawness of your emotions. "When did you stop loving me?"
"I love you," Joel said, his voice filled with sincerity.
You sighed, the weight of his words crashing over you like a tidal wave. "When did you fall out of love with me?" you asked quietly, your voice barely more than a whisper.
"I never did," Joel confessed, his eyes locking with yours. "You're the love of my life. I would marry you in all the universes."
"But?" you pressed, your heart clenching with the fear of his answer.
"But every time I look at you, I see my baby girl in your eyes,” Joel faltered, his voice trailing off.
"You could have told me,” you whispered, tears streaming down your face. "I don't forgive you, Joel. I loved the old you, I was in love with that man. I had a beautiful girl with him, and they both died that night."
"Stop talking like I don't exist anymore," Joel pleaded, his voice breaking with emotion.
"You don't," you replied, your voice hollow with grief. "The Joel Miller I loved would never do what you did."
As the truth of your words settled over you both, you felt the weight of your shared grief and regret pressing down on your shoulders. But somewhere deep inside, you knew that the man you had loved still lived, intertwined with the veins of your soul, forever a part of you.
You walked away from him.
As the days passed by, the encounter with Joel lingered in your mind, stirring emotions you had tried to bury. The pain, anger, and lingering love for the man he once was weighed heavily on you, despite your attempts to move forward. You found yourself distracted, your thoughts often drifting back to that night and the raw honesty of his words.
Joel, too, was affected by the confrontation. He became more withdrawn, his guilt and regret casting a shadow over his every action. You could see the torment in his eyes whenever your paths crossed in Jackson, a silent acknowledgment of the wounds that had yet to heal.
One cold winter morning, you were busy with your usual tasks, trying to keep your mind occupied. The biting wind swept through the town, and you pulled your coat tighter around you as you made your way through the streets. As you approached the central square, you noticed a commotion near the gates.
Ellie had arrived, her face flushed with anger. She stormed through the gates, her eyes blazing with fury. Concerned, you approached her, hoping to understand what had happened.
"Ellie, what's wrong?" you asked gently, trying to catch her attention.
She glared at you; her anger palpable. "Fuck you," she snapped, her voice filled with a bitterness that cut through you.
Taken aback by her hostility, you stepped back, watching as she continued her march towards the center of Jackson. You followed her with your eyes, your concern growing. It was then that you saw Joel arriving from the opposite direction, his expression tense and troubled.
Joel's eyes found yours across the space, and in that moment, you realized that something she had found out the truth. The weight of his gaze and the anger in Ellie's demeanor pointed to a revelation that had shaken them both to the core.
The air felt fresh against the skin of your face, but for a reason you couldn’t kept going, you paralyzed as you saw Ellie’s back from behind as she kept making her way towards Jackson in complete silence.
You and Joel had sworn everything he had said was true. You had made a choice for her and th guilt began to creep within you.
Joel noticed your distress, and walk backwards until he was in front of you “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I don’t know if I can’t keep this secret” you told him.
Joel sighed, his shoulders slumping as he looked into your eyes. "I need you to be strong," he said softly. "For her. For us. We'll protect her from this, together. We can't ever tell her the truth," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "She can't know what really happened with the Fireflies."
You stood beside him, the enormity of his words settling over you. "I know," you replied, your voice heavy with resignation. "But it's going to be hard to keep it from her, Joel. She deserves to know the truth."
Joel turned to face you; his eyes filled with a desperate plea. "Please," he said, his voice breaking. "I need you to promise me. For her sake. For all our sakes."
You met his gaze, seeing the anguish and fear in his eyes. You understood the stakes, the delicate balance that needed to be maintained to protect Ellie. With a heavy heart, you nodded.
"I promise," you said softly. "We'll keep the secret."
Joel exhaled, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "Thank you," he murmured. "I know it's not fair to ask this of you, but I couldn't bear to lose her. Not after everything."
You reached out and placed a hand on his arm, offering what comfort you could. "We'll protect her, Joel. Together."
Joel's expression softened. He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your temple.
Ellie’s words stung, but your concern for her outweighed the hurt. Determined to understand what had set her off, you followed her through the bustling streets of Jackson. The winter air was crisp, and your breath was visible as you quickened your pace to keep up with her.
“Ellie, please,” you called after her, but she didn’t slow down. Her steps were fueled by anger and pain, and you knew something significant must have happened.
She finally stopped near the edge of the settlement, in a secluded spot away from prying eyes. You approached her cautiously, giving her space but making it clear you weren’t going anywhere.
“What happened?” You asked, your voice gentle but firm.
Ellie spun around to face you, her eyes blazing with a mix of fury and betrayal. “You and Joel think you can just lie to me? About everything?”
Your heart sank. The truth had come out. “Ellie, I—”
“Don’t,” she cut you off, her voice trembling. “Don’t try to explain it away. I know what happened. I know what he did and what you both did.”
The weight of her accusation hung in the air, and you felt the full force of your guilt crashing down on you. “We were trying to protect you,” you said quietly. “We thought it was the only way.”
Ellie’s eyes filled with tears, but her anger didn’t waver. “You had no right to make that choice for me,” she spat. “I deserved to know the truth. I deserved to make my own decisions.”
You took a step closer, your own eyes misting with tears. “I’m sorry, Ellie. We thought we were doing the right thing. We thought it was the only way to keep you safe.”
Ellie shook her head, her hands balling into fists at her sides. “You know, you both deserve each other,” she said, her voice breaking. “That baby you lost didn’t deserve a liar mother.”
Ellie’s words cut deeper than any blade. You felt your breath catch in your throat, the pain of her accusation mingling with the agony of your loss. Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you struggled to find the words to respond.
“Ellie, please,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “Don’t say that.”
Before you could respond, you heard footsteps behind you. Joel had followed, his face etched with worry and regret. “Ellie,” he began, but she held up a hand to stop him.
“Save it, Joel,” she said, her voice cold. “I don’t want to hear any more lies.”
Joel’s shoulders slumped, his eyes pleading as he looked at her. “Ellie, please. We did what we thought was best. We were trying to protect you.”
Ellie’s anger flared again, and she took a step back, as if physically recoiling from his words. “Protect me? By lying to me? By taking away my choice.”
Joel’s expression crumbled, and he glanced at you, his eyes filled with desperation. “We were wrong,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “We were wrong to keep the truth from you. But we did it out of love. Out of fear of losing you.”
Ellie’s gaze flickered between you and Joel, her emotions a storm of betrayal and hurt. “I need time,” she said finally, her voice cracking. “I need to think.”
You couldn’t bear to look at Joel. The guilt and regret in his eyes were too much to bear. You took a step back, then another, putting distance between you and the man who had once been your anchor. The man who had become a stranger through a web of lies and broken promises.
“Wait!” Joel called out, his voice breaking. “Please, don’t go.”
But you couldn’t stay. Not now. Not with everything crashing down around you. You turned away, your heart heavy with grief and sorrow, and walked away from Joel, leaving him standing alone in the snow.
As you made your way through the town, the cold wind stinging your cheeks, you couldn’t help but replay the events in your mind. The pain in Ellie’s eyes, the desperation in Joel’s voice, and the unbearable weight of your own guilt. You had thought you were protecting her, but in doing so, you had shattered the trust that had once held you all together.
The night was cold, a sharp wind slicing through the darkness as the three of you huddled around the crackling fire. The journey to the hospital had been long and arduous, each day blurring into the next as you traversed through abandoned towns and treacherous terrain. But tonight, there was a strange sense of peace among you.
You rested your head on Joel's shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body seeping into yours, a welcome contrast to the biting cold. Ellie sat across from you, poking at the fire with a stick, her face illuminated by the dancing flames.
"Ugh, you two are disgusting," Ellie joked, a playful smirk on her lips as she watched the two of you. "Get a room, seriously."
You chuckled, feeling a warmth that had nothing to do with the fire. Joel's arm tightened around you, a subtle yet comforting gesture. "Jealous much?" you teased back, meeting Ellie's eyes with a grin.
"Yeah, right," Ellie snorted, rolling her eyes dramatically. "As if I'd want to cuddle up to Joel."
"Hey now," Joel interjected, his voice carrying a mock tone of hurt. "I'm plenty cuddly."
Ellie laughed, the sound infectious and genuine, filling the night with a rare sense of normalcy. It was moments like these that made the hardships of your journey bearable, the little pockets of happiness that you all clung to.
As the laughter died down, a comfortable silence settled over the three of you. You closed your eyes, feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of Joel's chest beneath your head, the steady beat of his heart a soothing lullaby.
"We're becoming a little family, aren't we?" you mused on Joel’s chest just for him to listen.
"Joel."
He turned back at the sound of your voice, the familiar timbre soothing his demons as only you could tame them. How could he have messed up all he had with you?
You hadn't wanted to talk to him in so long that he felt he could cry just from hearing his name slip from your lips.
"Hey," he stuttered.
"I-" you started, struggling to find the words to begin a conversation with the man you had once shared your bare soul and body with. Carefully, you stepped onto the porch of the house you had once shared, your legs trembling. "I....- knew... well. Ellie found out the truth," you said, standing next to him, barely touching his shoulder with yours.
"She hates me," Joel murmured, his voice thick with emotion.
"She doesn't," you declared firmly. "She's mad at me too, but she doesn't really hate you or me."
"You don't have to feel sorry for me," he said, his voice tinged with hurt.
"I don't," you declared, your tone steady. "I don't feel anything for you, but I won't blame you for what you did."
Joel's shoulders slumped, and he turned to face you fully, his eyes searching yours for any sign of the connection you once shared. "I don't know how to make things right," he admitted, his voice barely more than a whisper.
“You can’t.” You declared, “At least, not for now. You need to let her alone for a while.”
Joel nodded, his expression a mixture of resignation and longing. "I know," he said softly. "I just... I want to fix things, but I don't know where to start."
You met his gaze, seeing the turmoil in his eyes mirrored in your own. "Sometimes, the best thing we can do is give each other space," you said, your voice gentle yet firm. "Let Ellie process everything in her own time. And in the meantime, we need to figure out how to move forward."
Joel sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I don't even know if she'll ever forgive me," he admitted, his voice heavy with doubt.
"You can't control how she feels," you reminded him, your words laced with empathy. "All you can do is show her that you're truly sorry and that you're willing to do whatever it takes to make things right."
Joel's gaze softened, a hint of gratitude flickering in his eyes. "Thank you," he said quietly, the weight of his words carrying the weight of his remorse. "For not giving up on me."
You gave him a small, sad smile.
Joel swore he could die just to repair what he had done to you, just for having you this close to him. If one thing had been different, what would it be like now?
The innocence of a first kiss doesn't compare to the stolen glances between two people who once knew everything about each other. And when you said so, you meant him.
He knew you; he drew a constellation in your arms, but he didn't allow you to catch a glimpse of himself in you.
You were a thing—a disposable one.
But he was everything, caring while being careless.
He was human; he loved you, but he was a man.
One who didn't know how to love after humanity had taken everything from him.
"Ellie." You said, looking at her sitting outside your house.
"Why the hell were you talking to him?" she asked, bitterness on her tongue.
"Because I knew you talked" you replied
"Yes, but I don't want you to talk to him"
"I was just checking on him" you defended yourself from her accusations.
"Why? Why do you care about him?
"Ellie-“
"No! He makes you cry every time he is near you, I don't want that.'
"I was part of the lie too and I'm sorry but if you would be here now, I wouldn’t be alive
"I don't hate you. I'm sad you did it, but you didn't make that choice for me. Joel did, he is the one to blame.
"Don't even defend him," Ellie snapped, her frustration boiling over. "I swear, I'll get mad at you for that."
You fell silent, the weight of Ellie's words settling over you like a heavy shroud. In that moment, you realized just how much pain and anger Joel's actions had caused, not just for Ellie, but for you too. And as you looked at her sitting outside your house, you knew that navigating this tangled web of emotions was going to be harder than you ever imagined.
As winter settled over Jackson, the town transformed into a snow-covered wonderland, blanketed in pristine white. The days grew shorter, the air colder, and the residents bundled up in layers of warm clothing as they went about their daily routines.
In the weeks that followed Ellie's revelation, tensions remained high among the residents. The fallout from the truth about the Fireflies cast a long shadow over the community, leaving everyone grappling with their own feelings of guilt and betrayal.
For you, the days passed in a blur of routine tasks and quiet contemplation. You found solace in the routine of daily life, throwing yourself into your work and trying to push aside the weight of your own guilt and regret.
As New Year's Eve approached, the town began to buzz with anticipation. Despite the somber mood that hung over Jackson, there was still a sense of hope and renewal in the air. The residents came together to celebrate the passing of another year, eager to leave the pain and heartache of the past behind them.
The streets were decorated with twinkling lights and festive decorations, and the sound of laughter and music filled the air.
The New Year's party was in full swing, with laughter and music filling the air. The community of Jackson was determined to celebrate and to find moments of joy despite the darkness that surrounded them. You were there, mingling and trying to put on a brave face, when suddenly you heard Ellie's voice rise above the din.
The room fell silent after that, all eyes turning towards the confrontation. Joel stood there, looking wounded and weary, his shoulders slumping under the weight of Ellie's words. Without another word, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving a heavy silence in his wake.
You felt a pang of sympathy for Joel, despite everything that had happened between you. After a moment's hesitation, you followed him outside, needing to see if he was okay.
You found him on the porch of what was once the house you both shared, sitting on the steps with his guitar in his lap. His fingers plucked at the strings absently, creating a soft, melancholic tune. He looked up, startled, as you approached, his eyes widening in surprise.
"I didn't expect to see you here," he said quietly, his voice rough with emotion.
"I didn't expect to come out here," you admitted, taking a seat beside him. "But I heard what happened inside. Are you okay?"
Joel let out a heavy sigh, his fingers stilling on the guitar strings. "Just another fight with Ellie," he said, his voice tinged with sadness. "It seems like all we do lately is fight."
You nodded, understanding all too well the strain that grief and guilt could place on relationships. "It's hard," you said softly. "On all of us."
He looked at you, his eyes filled with a mixture of regret and longing. "I never meant to hurt you," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Any of you."
"I know," you said, your voice just as quiet. "But that doesn't change what happened."
Joel nodded; his expression hurt. "I don't know how to fix this," he admitted. "I don't know how to make things right."
For a moment, neither of you spoke; the only sound was the soft strumming of Joel's guitar. The tension between you was palpable, a silent acknowledgment of the love and pain that still lingered between you.
"Maybe some things can't be fixed," you said finally, your voice trembling. "Maybe we just have to find a way to live with the pieces."
Joel looked at you, his eyes filled with deep, abiding sorrow. "I'm willing to try," he said softly. "If you'll let me."
"I never thought I would see you with a guitar again," you said, ignoring his words and the way your heart constricted against your ribs at the reminiscence of the man you loved, back when Joel was full of life and hope.
Joel glanced down at the guitar in his lap, a sad smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I guess some habits die hard," he murmured, his fingers resuming their gentle strumming. The soft melody hung in the air, a haunting reminder of a time when things were simpler, when love and music filled your lives instead of pain and regret.
You watched him for a moment, the familiar chords stirring memories that you had tried so hard to bury. "Do you remember the first song you played for me?" you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper.
Joel nodded, his eyes distant as he recalled the memory. "Of course I do. 'Can't Help Falling in Love.' You said it was your favorite."
"It still is," you admitted, a sad smile playing on your lips. "Even now."
For a moment, the two of you sat in silence, the only sound being the soft strumming of Joel's guitar. The tension between you eased slightly, replaced by a shared sense of nostalgia and longing.
Joel finally looked up, his eyes meeting yours. "I miss those days," he said quietly.
"So do I," you admitted, your voice trembling with emotion. "But we can't go back, Joel. We can only move forward."
"I know," he said, his voice heavy with regret. "But I wish I could make things right between us."
You looked away, the pain of his betrayal still fresh in your mind. "Some things can't be fixed, Joel," you said softly. "Some wounds are too deep."
Joel's fingers stilled on the guitar strings, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "For everything."
You took a deep breath, trying to steady the whirlwind of emotions inside you. "I know you are," you said finally. "But sorry isn't enough to change what happened. It isn't enough to heal the hurt."
"I know," he said again, his voice filled with sorrow.
You smiled softly, a memory from the past momentarily lifting the weight on your heart. "Do you remember when I told you I was pregnant with Sarah back then?"
Joel's eyes softened, and he returned your smile, the sadness in his gaze briefly replaced by warmth. "How could I forget? You were glowing. It was the happiest I'd ever seen you."
You chuckled at the bittersweet sound. "You were so stunned, you just sat there for a minute, speechless. I thought you were upset."
Joel shook his head, his fingers stilling on the guitar strings. "I wasn't upset. I was overwhelmed. It was like everything I'd ever wanted was finally coming true."
A comfortable silence settled between you, the shared memory bridging the chasm that had grown between you. The night air was cool, with a gentle breeze rustling the leaves nearby.
"I miss those days too," you admitted softly. "When life was simple, and our biggest worries were about making ends meet, not surviving day to day,"
Joel nodded, his expression thoughtful. "We can't go back to those days, but maybe... maybe we can find a way to move forward."
You looked at him, the sincerity in his eyes touching a chord within you. "It's going to take time, Joel. And a lot of effort."
"I know," he replied, his voice steady. "But I'm willing to try. For us, and for Ellie."
The mention of Ellie brought a fresh wave of emotion. "She's been through so much," you said, your voice thick with concern. "We need to be strong for her."
Joel's fingers resumed their gentle strumming, the soft melody filling the night air once more. "We will be.”
Your heart began to beat faster—a heavy, suffocating rhythm that filled your chest. For a moment, it felt as if the man you once knew, the man you had loved with all your heart, was sitting right there beside you. In that instant, there was no cheating, no dead baby, and no outbreak. Just you and Joel, the way it used to be.
He looked at you with those soft brown eyes of his, eyes that once held nothing but love and hope. The same eyes that had crinkled at the corners when he smiled had looked at you with such adoration and warmth.
Joel's fingers, calloused yet gentle, reached up to brush a strand of hair from your face. His touch was so light and tender that you almost didn't feel it. But the gesture—the simple, familiar intimacy of it—made your breath catch in your throat.
"Do you ever think about what could have been?" you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper, as if speaking too loudly would shatter the fragile moment.
Joel's eyes held yours, and for a moment, you saw the depth of his sorrow and regret. "Every day," he replied, his voice thick with emotion. "I think about it every day."
The weight of his words settled over you, mingling with your own grief and longing. You wanted to reach out, to bridge the gap that had grown between you, but the wounds were still too raw, too fresh.
"I'm sorry for everything," he continued, his voice breaking. "For all the pain I've caused you."
You nodded, tears welling in your eyes. "Stop saying that," you whispered. "I know you are."
For a fleeting moment, it felt as if the past had dissolved, leaving only the two of you, bound by the love you had once shared. The guitar's soft melody wrapped around you, a bittersweet echo of the happiness you had known.
But reality, harsh and unrelenting, lingered at the edges of your consciousness, reminding you of the chasm that still separated you. The pain, the betrayal, the loss—they were all still there, lurking in the shadows.
Joel's hand lingered on your cheek, his touch a gentle reminder of what you had once had, and what you had lost. You closed your eyes, savoring the moment, even as your heart ached with the knowledge that it could never truly be the same.
Joel leaned in; his intentions clear in the way his eyes searched yours. But as his lips neared yours, you instinctively moved your head, redirecting his kiss to your cheek. His lips lingered there for a few seconds, warm and soft against your skin, a hesitant caress that spoke of longing and regret.
The unexpected intimacy of the moment sent a shiver down your spine, and for those few lingering seconds, you let yourself feel the connection, the love that still lingered between you despite everything that had happened.
When he finally pulled back, his eyes were filled with a mixture of sorrow and hope. "I don't want to lose you," he whispered, his voice raw with emotion.
You looked at him, your own emotions a tangled mess. "I don't want to lose you either," you admitted, your voice trembling.
"Hey," Ellie said, her voice breaking the fragile silence. "Am I interrupting something?"
Joel pulled back slightly, his expression shifting from the raw vulnerability he'd shown to a more guarded demeanor. "No, Ellie," he said softly, his voice carrying a hint of weariness. "We were just talking."
Ellie raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical. "Talking, huh? It looked like more than just talking."
You stood up, brushing away the remnants of tears from your cheeks. "It's okay, Ellie," you said, trying to sound reassuring. "We were just... sorting things out."
Ellie crossed her arms, her gaze still flicking between the two of you. "Well, whatever. I just came out to get some fresh air. That party is too loud."
Joel gave her a small, understanding nod. "Yeah, I get that," he said. "Sometimes you need a break from all the noise."
Ellie looked at you, her expression softening slightly. "Are you okay?" she asked, her concern evident.
You managed a small smile, though it felt strained. "I'm getting there," you replied. "One step at a time."
Ellie nodded, seeming to accept your answer. “Can I talk to Joel?” she asked, looking for an answer
As you walked away, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered in the air. The tension between Ellie and Joel was palpable, and you couldn't help but worry about what their conversation might entail.
The knock on your door startled you awake, pulling you from the restless sleep that had plagued you for hours. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you stumbled to the door, heart pounding with uncertainty.
When you opened it, Joel stood on the other side, his expression hesitant yet hopeful. His presence filled the doorway, casting a shadow over the threshold.
"Joel," you said, your voice a mixture of surprise and apprehension.
"Hey," he murmured, his gaze searching yours. "I... I couldn't sleep. Can we talk?"
You hesitated, unsure if you were ready to face him again after everything that had happened. But the sincerity in his eyes tugged at your heartstrings, and you found yourself nodding, stepping aside to let him in.
Joel's words trailed off as he reached out, his hand gently cupping your cheek. His touch sent a shiver down your spine, stirring emotions you had tried to bury deep within.
Before you could protest or pull away, his lips met yours in a soft, tentative kiss. It was a kiss filled with longing and regret, a silent plea for forgiveness and understanding.
For a moment, you were lost in the sensation of his lips against yours, the familiarity of his touch washing over you like a wave. Memories of happier times flooded your mind, threatening to overwhelm you with their intensity.
But as quickly as it had begun, the kiss ended, leaving you breathless and confused. You pulled away, staring at Joel in shock, searching for answers in the depths of his eyes.
"Joel, what are you doing?" you whispered, your voice trembling with a mixture of emotions.
Joel's expression was pained as he stepped back, his hand falling away from your face. "I'm sorry," he murmured, his voice barely more than a whisper. "I don't know what came over me."
You shook your head, trying to make sense of the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside you. "We can't do this, Joel," you said firmly, though your heart ached at the words.
"I know," he replied, his voice heavy with regret. "I just... I needed to see you. To talk to you. To try to make things right."
You looked away, unable to meet his gaze. "It's too late for that," you said softly, the weight of your words hanging heavily in the air between you.
Joel nodded, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "I know," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I know. I just had this feeling and I couldn’t sleep." Joel met your gaze, his eyes filled with a mixture of longing and resignation. "I just don't know if I can do this without you," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your heart clenched at his words, the raw vulnerability in his voice stirring something deep within you. But you knew that giving in to him now would only lead to more heartache in the long run.
"I need space, Joel," you said, your voice firm but gentle. “Go to sleep, please”
Joel nodded, his shoulders slumping further in defeat. “Have a good night, and happy new year” he said, smiling.
“Happy new year.”
As the next day progressed,
you went about your tasks, trying to focus on the bustling activity in Jackson. The town seemed livelier than usual, with people coming and going, laughter filling the air. But something felt off, a nagging sense of unease that lingered at the edges of your consciousness.
Hours passed, and you realized you hadn't seen Joel, Tommy, or Ellie all day. At first, you brushed it off, thinking they might be busy with their own tasks or simply taking some time for themselves. But as the day wore on and the sun began to dip below the horizon, that nagging feeling grew stronger.
You tried to push aside your growing unease, focusing on your tasks with renewed determination. But deep down, you couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Your mind raced with possibilities, each one more terrifying than the last.
Finally, unable to ignore your instincts any longer, you set out to find out what had happened to Joel, Tommy, and Ellie. You searched the town, asking anyone you came across if they had seen them, but no one had any answers.
As the evening wore on and darkness descended upon Jackson, your anxiety reached a fever pitch. The streets grew quiet, the bustling activity of earlier replaced by an eerie stillness. And still, there was no sign of Joel, Tommy, or Ellie.
With a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, you realized that something had gone terribly wrong.
As you approached Ellie, Dina, Tommy, and the rest of the group, the gravity of the situation became painfully clear. Ellie was hurt, her face twisted with grief and anguish, while Dina followed closely behind, offering what comfort she could. Tommy and the others looked devastated, but it was Tommy's expression that caught your attention. When his eyes met yours, he broke down, the weight of his grief too much to bear.
"Ellie? What's wrong?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.
"He's..." Ellie began, her voice choked with emotion.
"Tommy?" you turned to him, hoping for some clarity.
"Joel died," Tommy finally managed to say, his voice breaking with the weight of his words.
Your heart stopped, the world around you fading into a blur as the reality of his words sank in. Joel, the man you had loved and lost so many times over, was gone. The ghost of your Joel had died, and now you had lost him physically as well.
Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to process the enormity of the loss. Joel, who had been a constant presence in your life, was gone, leaving behind a void that could never be filled.
You reached out to Ellie, offering whatever comfort you could, but inside, you felt as though a part of you had died along with Joel.
Joel was gone, and with him, a piece of your heart had died too.
You stood in Joel's house, surrounded by the remnants of his life. Every corner held a memory, every object a reminder of the man he had been. It was both comforting and agonizing, a bittersweet symphony of grief and love.
With trembling hands, you began to search through his belongings, desperate to find something that would make you feel less worse, if only for a moment. You opened drawers and cabinets, sifted through papers and trinkets, but nothing seemed to ease the ache in your heart.
when you stepped inside his bedroom, his presence hit you like a wave, so inoffensive yet so violent, strong, with the force to make you fall on your bum and being trapped by its force.
You felt a lump, the air in your lungs hot stuck and you couldn't help but gasp. You sat on the unmade bed, looking around, caressing the sheets as if him would step for his door and say sorry for what he did.
The room smelled like him, a wooed incandescent essence you would never forget.
When you lifted your eyes to the bed table, there were two frames. A picture of him and Sarah, and your heart stopped for a moment, thinking they were together now. The second held a photo of the two of you, taken on your wedding day, your smiles bright and hopeful.
Tears filled your eyes as you gazed at the images, the pain of loss washing over you anew.
You turned to see Tommy standing in the doorway, his expression mirroring your own somber sadness.
"Hey," he said softly, his voice filled with understanding. "I thought I'd find you here."
You nodded, unable to speak as the weight of grief pressed down on you.
Tommy stepped further into the room, his eyes scanning the space with a mixture of reverence and sorrow. "It's hard to believe he's gone," he murmured, his voice barely more than a whisper, trying to keep his composure.
You swallowed hard, blinking back tears as you struggled to find the words to express the depth of your loss. "Yeah," you managed, your voice hoarse with emotion. "It doesn't feel real."
Tommy wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer as you wept. His shoulder was a sturdy anchor, absorbing the weight of your sorrow.
"I know it feels like that," he said softly, his voice a soothing balm to your wounded heart.
You nodded, tears streaming down your face as you struggled to come to terms with the truth. "I just... I can't shake this feeling that I could have done something differently," you admitted, your voice choked with emotion.
Tommy gently lifted your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. "You did everything you could," he said firmly. "Don't blame yourself for his mistakes."
You leaned into his embrace, finding solace in his words. In that moment, you knew that no matter how much you mourned Joel's loss, you would always have Tommy by your side, a beacon of light in the darkness of your grief.
"you're the only one left I have from that life"
"You're mine." He smiled as his eyes glistened "you're my sister and the best one Joel brought home'
You chuckled, trying not to break down into pieces in front of him. "I-he was the love of my life'
Tommy's expression softened, his gaze filled with a mixture of sadness and understanding. "I know," he said gently, his voice carrying the weight of shared loss.
All the memories you once braid alongside with Joel, engulfed in fire.
With Tommy's comforting presence beside you, you found the courage to speak the words that had been weighing heavily on your heart.
"It takes a lot of strength to do this, but... I forgive you," you whispered, your voice barely more than a breath, as your gaze to the photograph of Joel, his image frozen in time, a reminder of the man you had loved and lost. The ache in your chest persisted, but alongside it was a sense of release, a small flicker of peace amidst the storm of emotions.
The sun was shining brightly, casting a warm glow over the bustling suburban neighborhood. Children playing in the streets, and the sound of cars and laughing filled the air.
As you walk down the sidewalk, you see a house that you recognize instantly. The house you and Joel shared, the place where so many memories were made. Your heart aches with a longing so intense it nearly takes your breath away.
Pushing open the front door, you step inside and are greeted by the comforting vanilla smell of home. You hear voices coming from the kitchen and follow the sound, your steps quickened with anticipation.
When you reached the kitchen, you saw Joel standing at the stove, cooking breakfast with a smile on his face. He looked younger, his hair missed the grey you got used to, and Sarah was sitting at the table, her eyes sparkling with joy as she was talking with Joel. The sight of them together, so alive and happy, brought tears to your eyes.
Joel looked up and saw you standing in the doorway. "Hey, sweetheart," he says, his voice filled with warmth and love. "You're just in time for breakfast."
Sarah turns in her chair and grins at you. "Morning, Mom! Dad's making our favorite pancakes!"
The flood of emotions was overwhelming you couldn’t even breath. You took a step forward, tears streaming down your face as you struggle to find your voice. "Joel, Sarah," you whisper, your voice trembling.
Joel's smile faded the minute he saw the tears in your eyes. He stepped away from the stove and came to you, concern etched across his features. "What's wrong, honey?" he asks, his hands gently cupping your face. "Why are you crying?"
You tried to speak, but the words caught in your throat. You reached out and pull both Joel and Sarah into a tight embrace, holding them as if they might disappear at any moment. "I missed you so much," you sob, your heart breaking with the realization that this moment, as perfect as it is, can't last.
Joel looked at you, his brow furrowed with worry. "Missed us? What are you talking about? We're right here."
You pulled back slightly, looking into his eyes, trying to memorize every detail of his face. "I know," you whispered.
Sarah wrapped her arms around your waist, her voice soft and soothing. "It's okay, Mom. We're here now."
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a/n: I know that you possibly waited for another ending, but my mind ended up in different places. So, just to clarify I could never forgive the words or actions Joel did in this story but since the story was tragic, I tried to portray what it was like for them to navigate a world that went into pieces after the outbreak and how they lost themselves in it, how the reader despise what he did but still had that love for him in her because sometimes, evern when we get hurt by someone we may have a bad habit to reach out that person, and finally, I thought the dream was a tragic way to end the story, with the reader having her moment with the Joel and Sarah since she knew that she and the Joel she was in love with died that night too. However, he would end up dead from beginning so, sorry. I also added the new year eve party because you know how the spirits are during those days, like the hope and renewal that joel was waiting for but the reader no. I don't know if I did a good job, but still, bye, thanks for coming here 💌
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I tagged everyone who asked for part ii and some who read part one, sorry if I forgot someone, or if you want to be removed, you can tell me.
tags: @immyowndefender @persephone-girl @elliaze @ninasully @whirlwindrider29 @missladym1981 @negansbestie @hobiebrowns-wife @zpandaqueen @ilovetaquitosmmmm @midnightbabylon @southernbe @joeldjarin @hiroikegawa @nothingbutaspeckofdust
#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x f!reader#pedro pascal character fanfiction#joel miller series#the last of us fanfiction#joel miller#joel miller imagine#joel miller angst#tlou fanfiction#joel the last of us#joel x reader#Joel Miller#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#the last of us#pedro pascal imagine#pedro pascal
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Zutara Shipping is Canon
Let me explain myself.
I was enjoying an afternoon walk (as I mercifully live in a decent area to go for walks to clear my head) and I started thinking about the Ember Island Players episode when it struck me.
Shipping Zutara is canon.
Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't about if Zutara itself is canon or not (it's totally canon and I will die on my hill of willful self-delusion), but about shipping it.
I'm sure most Zutara shippers still get a little thrill whenever we rewatch the show and our majestic bounty-hunter June, captain of the Zutara ship, calls Katara Zuko's girlfriend.
But, as I said, this is about Ember Island Players.
It never truly occurred to me before that, in canon, Zutara shipping is just a thing. Like, an actual, accepted aspect of the world.
When Puon-Tim wrote "The Boy in the Iceberg," he just outright included a Zutara subplot. And as annoyingly melodramatic as it was, it was still there. He even went out of his way to discredit the idea of Katara and Aang being together. And, even though the play is Fire Nation propaganda (which has since confused me since the wiki says that Puon-Tim is from the Earth Kingdom; though that feels like a retcon), it doesn't seem to show a Zutara romance in a negative way.
And it could've gone in that direction. As propaganda, it would have been only too easy to portray Katara as an evil seductress who corrupted Prince Zuko and convinced him to betray his country. But it doesn't. The Zutara scene is embarrassingly saccharine and schmaltzy, but it's not shown as being bad - except for the episode trying to frame it that way because it hurts Aang's feelings.
And, because of how popular the play seems to be, we can reasonably assume that there were audience members who left the theater as die-hard Zutara fans. Even if they were cheering for Zuko's death - because, y'know, Fire Nation - there weren't any boos at the Zutara scene. Like, some of those folks who cheered Zuko's death also probably regarded Zutara as a tragic love story. There were probably even a few who quietly whispered to each other that they hoped Prince Zuko would run off with Katara and have a happy ending instead of fighting for the throne and dying, as shown in the play.
And with how the war actually ended, Zutara shipping probably only got more popular as Zuko started reforming stuff and being an actually stable ruler as opposed to his psycho dad and sister.
So, with this in mind, Puon-Tim is the ultimate Zutara shipper. Zutara shipping is canon.
I don't really know what else to say.
Any thoughts?
#zutara#zuko x katara#katara x zuko#avatar the last airbender#atla meta#ember island players#the boy in the iceberg#redbayly
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