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sexwithamanda · 3 months ago

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Sometimes life delays your flight twice.

Episode #082124

Reporting live from my flight to Houston, which is insane because I’m supposed to be going back to Florida but, this is the cards I’ve been dealt with.

Don’t worry I have a connecting flight to Tampa, and my wonderful boyfriend is picking me up. The love of my mf life.

Let me be clear, not upset. Super incredibly thankful that I’ve been blessed to live such a beautiful life.

I was on a trip with my family that was only supposed to last till Sunday, it was not in my intention to stay an extra two days. It just kind of happened.

With no control of my own, I got TWO flights cancelled in the span of 24 hours. I am a firm believer that, there’s a reason why I couldn’t leave.

I had to experience the rest of the trip with my family, I mean the blessings didn’t end. My dad and my cousin both said how they wished that I could stay the entire time with them for my aunts birthday.

I got the chance to, what a lovely time it was, to all be in the same place at once. It was nice to not think about work, but most of all it was nice to be able to go back to places that I hadn’t been back to since I was child.

It had been a good 15 years since I had been back to this restaurant, I remember it being so luxurious to go to, now as an adult. I can see the rose colored glasses are taken a bit off, the filter isn’t there.

I’ve been blessed to have some of the most amazing foods in the world, the place we went to is called “Seabra’s” and it’s in a Portuguese part of New Jersey, and as a kid. It was packed as heck.

Picture this, walking in. People are coming fast everywhere with plates filled with seafood, it smells fresh, crisp, and be the way the rush of warmth come to you as you walk in, remember we’re in jersey in march I believe, but my little brain can’t recall the timing. I just knew it was too cold to be outside for me.

I’ve got island blood plus Floridian blood, which means I need it warm as possible. It goes below 70 degrees, I’m complaining.

We get sit right in the middle, in the back. A table is a bit bigger than normal, I’m sitting across from my mom and dad. I don’t look at the menu, I don’t have the chance to, my dad orders everything for both of us.

I know now that I never stopped thinking or looking around, and what is it to think back that far. Man, I feel old. I mean do you ever really think about the experiences you’ve had as a child and it seems you’re looking outside into the little person you were before.

Anyways, then an array of plates come to our table, SO MANY. I’m thinking dad you ordered so much. This is incredible. Mussels, clams, shrimp, lobster, so many things in different pots and pans. All of them covered the entirety of the table. It was a magical sight.

My dad has asked me “you’ve ever seen anything like this?” I shook my head no. I felt like royalty.

Flashback to this weekend. It was the same type of place, not much changed. The parking situation did, no more paying for parking, they had their own lot.

Walking in was as nice as it remembered but not as magical as an adult.

We were sat down, and it wasn’t packed. It felt like a bit off, and now I had my cousin, my aunt, and my parents with me. It was a restaurant, and it was different. Not a bunch of plates, just one big plate with the little pots and pans on it, and smaller portions but more expensive. As my dad explained.

Yes, it was as good, fresh, and I could finally really enjoy it and remember it. But as a child, it was something different.

And maybe it’s due to Covid, maybe it’s due to the change of the price on the menu, but maybe it’s because it wasn’t new anymore.

I had been there, done that. And most of all I am an adult now who thought of how much I could eat. Needed to stop myself, and how as a child nothing worried me.

It was a beautiful time seeing my aunt light up, but it’s not like they came and sang her happy birthday, they had a MACHINE do it. It was distasteful. It felt commercialized and that’s when I knew that this place lost a bit of their magic.

And as an adult, I’ll savor the memory as a beautiful time with my family and chop it as my dad wanting to show something nice but also that’ll probably be one of the last times I’ll ever go there.

Not worth it.

I think the biggest thing is that I also finished reading a book called “Think Again” by Adam Grant. Now I know that’s were all ready to hear, because I read considerably a lot and I tend to try to make a review but this book resonated so much with me that I had to implement it into my daily life the minute I started learning concepts in it.

My mind began to rethink things, I started to have conversations with my family that I’ve had before and I started learning discreetly that my dad couldn’t form other opinions because he based all his thoughts on things that he had learned years prior, so had my mom.

I explained something, brought by example and when talking to them, regardless of my family they would focus on one thing I said, not the bigger picture. I would continuously ask questions and then they got frustrated because they said that I was being ridiculous.

Then something happened on this trip that made me realize that they were both hard to tolerate in general.

But, they both couldn’t grow to be better because it had everything to do with their own ideas and beliefs that were engraved so heavily into their repertoire that any conversation I had with them would go nowhere in changing there minds.

I obviously think that some things are meant to be personal and not shared to everyone online but in reality, how do other people learn from each other if we don’t give our experiences and what we’ve been through to also not only help others but also make them aware that things like this happen.

We can change, we can learn. We can be better.

The old-time thinking that my dad consistently said on this trip that made me laugh is that “I don’t need to grow to be better, I don’t care, I’m gonna die in a couple of years.”

It was a sound of defeat. And, that mentality baffles me because I use to consider him one of the smartest people I’ve ever met.

But that was when I didn’t question anything he said and did everything he said. I just believed it all.

That’s not how life works, we should question things, we should fact check, we should seek new understanding when things are presented to us.

You can learn something from everyone, and yes he’s smart. He just stopped wanting to learn things or see things from different perspectives and that’s okay.

He is allowed to his own beliefs, his own opinions, as well as my mom. I love them both so dearly.

I have to reference that me saying these things does not mean I don’t love my parents, I do. So very much.

You can love people and want them in your life, even when they think differently from you, live a whole life that is different from yours, and have beliefs that are not aligned with yours. It’s your family. You should always try to find a way to move past all of it to make a relationship, in my case I got very blessed.

I can’t thank the universe, god, and manifestation enough for blessing me with such wonderful parents.

Now, here’s the thing that happened.

Let me preference this with saying, all couples fight. But damn how I wish I didn’t have to deal with it with my parents.

They fight like an avoidant and anxious attachment, it isn’t a healthy way.

My dad got so mad at me when I asked him questions about how he was feeling, he stormed off and left the hotel. Didn’t say where he was going. It was how do I say this, a dick move.

The words exchanged between them weren’t too nice, but it was also blinded by emotion.

I asked questions to understand and my mom did too, and he explained it and I said okay well now I understand. Instead of that being it, he got really upset and left. I’m all about people being upset and leaving but you don’t leave and not tell anyone where your going.

Especially if it’s your wife. What’s the deal with that?

I also want to say, if I’m a writer and that’s what my dad always says I should do let’s be clear I’m following his wishes, sorry dad that you thought this wouldn’t be included but it effected me highly.

My mom didn’t deserve that, and sometimes I read other people’s stories about their family and how there is a reason why they’re filipino moms are that way.

Gosh, how disrespectful it was to do that to my mom.

She was worried, she kept texting and calling, which is the anxious attachment. My dad is the avoidant attachment, instead of facing it. He ran away.

Yes, sometimes they can fill-flop. But I had to side with my mom. She was so upset, and she had every right to be, all she was doing was trying to understand how sick he was feeling. And so was I.

My mom decided to sleep in my bed with me. I think it was the first time I think I understood why she was the way she was and she didn’t want me to push her away anymore. She rehabilitated our relationship because in reality; I’m one of the few people who can understand fully everything. I mean I’m her daughter.

My dad came back to the hotel room around midnight or a bit later. No apology.

I’m sure he barely slept. He didn’t remind mom and I when breakfast was that morning but I had seen what time it ended so I got up early. It was so passive aggressive, but my mom told me not address it.

I explained to her, that this type of behavior is unhealthy, that is not what he should be doing ever.

You should not tolerate being treated like this. Ever.

Now, as I write this it makes me so annoyed because he still hasn’t apologized for his actions, for making my mom feel like that. I rolled off him being upset at me, his anger was towards my mom and it was over her trying to understand the situation.

He tried to pretend like it was alright but it wasn’t. I couldn’t even look at him most of the next day. My mom have this unspoken bond, I have that with my cousin and my aunt too, sometimes we look each other and we just know what we’re saying.

As an adult, I couldn’t let it go.

Who are you to treat my mom that way? This is supposed to be the love of your life. You aren’t supposed to do shit like that, how long have you been together to know each other to be BETTER.

My mom then told me that, it rarely happens but sometimes they fight. When things like that do happen.

The more I look at the relationships I’ve had in my life and my parents, and others, I know that no one has no idea what’s going on but also they don’t talk it out.

Relationships, when things like that happen, apologize, learn, explain. Do better.

I hope that they work it out. I’m not there to be the middle man anymore, when I was kid I did that.

I’d say that they know better, but how could they when they don’t want to learn to be better.

It’s like they’re breaking their legs before they even try to run the marathon.

Life is short, love who you love.

But make sure to know that you deserve the best always.

Now, back to my favorite part of the entire trip.

I got to visit Ellis Island, when I tell you it was such a ball of emotion that was all at once. And my dad and cousin wanted to run through the museum. I could’ve probably stayed there all day and one day I’ll comeback with my boyfriend or whoever and we will take the time to really look at it, savor it.

So many people immigrated to the USA through there. It was like 12 million and they all had to get screened and when people saw the stature of liberty as their steamboats came into the harbor they would cheer.

What a lovely sight to see, what a ball of history that so many people got to pass through.

I learned that they had turned it into a place where the held so called criminals and people they deemed not worthy to come into america. It cramped spaces and they have a library there as well, just by appointment. I wish we had one, I love history and reading so much and this place had everything in it. They had original columns in it, preserved with peoples signatures and drawings on them as they waited for the okay to come in.

People easily faked papers to come in as well, they just had to get all the questions correctly when asked about themselves. Insane that so many people right now have different last names then what they were actually supposed to have because their family lied about their last name to come in.

Another interesting thing they had was a way to look up your family in a research session. You could make an appointment and work with someone who look the records with you to find how your family went through Ellis.

Right next to that was a way to establish a memory that you visited Ellis Island. You put your name and they make a certificate for you. It’s so cute. I made one for myself and for my mom. She said that she would print it and frame it.

I was so enthralled with the way they had made this museum interactive and how everything that you bought in the gift shops were all going to the nationals parks foundation. I loved every little bit of it.

If we could’ve stayed there for more hours I would’ve loved to, but it didn’t get to happen but we then took the ferry to the Statue of Liberty.

What a different look I had the pleasure to see, when I say I got so lucky to have been able to come to this part of the trip I mean it. I was supposed to leave on SUNDAY. This part was TUESDAY. Like god really said, yeah you’re not leaving yet.

I was blessed to see the Statue of Liberty from the pedestal, walking around it. It was a ridiculous sight, insane how wide and bright everything looks from up there and then looking up, there is lady Liberty, standing tall, brave, and courageous. The pictures I got were breath taking. I’ll show them as well.

What a sight to see, can’t believe how lucky I am to be able to experience this. Now that I spoke a little about my favorite thing, the first night was one of the best nights as well.

Since I was like 9 years old my dad has been telling me about this place called Belmont, it’s been in Newark, NJ for like 1,000 years I’m just exaggerating here but a really really really long time. They make a special plate called stretch’s famous chicken savoy, he raved the hell out of it. I’m glad that I got to taste it as an adult because I don’t know if child me would’ve liked it as much.

Now, I’ve never heard of chicken savoy till my dad, didn’t know what to expect and it was vinegary and sour and sweet all at the same time. The chicken was tender and fell right off the bone. It was delicious and they had these shrimp beeps, with a sauce that I couldn’t stop eating. I could’ve eaten that forever. I wanted to marry it, it was the good. Sorry to my boyfriend.

Lastly one of my favorite memories from this trip, is last night we tried a NEW place, yes you heard it right folks, my dad stopped the car to try a new place.

I was exhausted from waking up early, and dealing with my parents and seeing everything, we walked into this place called “Allegra” it looked super nice inside but not a lot of people in there, and my dad complained afterwards that there wasn’t enough people in there and in hindsight that might be true but it’s a TUESDAY. All of the restaurants he know of that he wanted to take us to were closed, makes sense because they don’t get a lot of business on Tuesday.

I didn’t expect it to be so good, I was being a bit judgmental, I mean. No one is in there, the reviews are okay, our waitress keeps asking us to move. But then we got comfortable, the appetizers came and my dad got snails. Something I’ve never seen in my life.

I tasted one and we shared the whole thing, it was small little snails in this garlic sauce that tasted so good I dunked bread in it, that’s when you know a sauce is good. Is it dunk worthy? If not, it’s probably not that good.

We used little forks to get them out and my mom who doesn’t like snails had someone and liked it, that’s when I knew this place would be a hit.

My mom and I had steak, when I said it was so good, I want to taste it again, then they had Portuguese beans, and of course fries.

It was around rush hour and my dad didn’t want to drive in it so we started talking a bit, and my cousin drinks a lot, all the time actually.

His go to is Jamison and coke, and I don’t drink much but I’ll take a shot of tequila, that’s what I said to him.

We’re finishing up this dessert he ordered that was vanilla cream crepe with orange and caramel. Bro, what a dessert, sweet and refreshing.

My mom is like no drinking, I have to be up early. It’s like 5 pm, I’ll be fine.

My dad gives us our suggestions for shots, he orders them for us. One is Felipe, and it’s SO STRONG. He tells her to warm the bottom. It burns going down. Fuck, I’m not a drinker this is a lot and it’s just a shot.

My face is hilarious, my mom takes a video because that’s what we do, we need proof. I drank something haha.

It’s still too early to leave, my dad starts asking if they have this specific liquor. The best thing our waitress does is come with the bottle to make sure it’s the right one.

This next one is called Marie Brizard, the sweetest fucking alcohol I’ve ever had in my life, before we get that shot my dad asks her to put a flame on them. A fucking flame? What the hell? I’m confused now.

She does just that. It has a flame on it. I blow it out and it’s burning my mouth. I can’t drink it.

Mikey my cousin goes, “fuck it let’s go!” I shotgun it.

It’s straight sugar, it’s so good. I don’t licorice really but in this from, please give me a glass!

I was drunky drunk already.

I loved it, and I thank my dad for teaching me how to get drunk faster!

By now, you’re probably tired of me talking about this trip, but let me tell you, what a turn of events that worked out so much in my favor.

Thank you god!

Until next time,

Mahal Kita.

Amanda

P.S. Go on that trip you keep putting off, traveling is a drug I know, but everyone deserves to explore and see different parts of the world and sometimes it might just be your own neighborhood, never be afraid to try something new. I know it’s scary but the more you do something, the less scary it becomes. You can do it! Sending all my love.

Just a couple of pics of my travels ✨

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