#Ellana meta

[buttsonthebeach]

I finished my retelling of Veilguard through Ellana's eyes and my god, I think the weight of the ending finally hit me. I got teary-eyed writing it in a way I didn't while playing it. Now it actually feels like her ending.

If anyone wants to get into my feels with me, the two poems I reread as I wrote the final section are "An Irish Airman foresees his Death" by William Butler Yeats and "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley. The Yeats poem in particular has been important to my characterization of Ellana at turning points in the other journeys I have written about her over the years (particularly at the climax of in Awakened).

[thatssolavellan]

Something I always see Solavellans bringing up when they talk about Solas' development over his time with the Inquisition is that he became more flexible, learning about friendship and love. But I always think about how this was also true for Lavellan, at least in my headcanon.

I imagine Ellana being prepared to be the keeper of her clan. Listening over the years to stories about her gods and her past, about Arlathan, about everything that should be passed on by her to the next generations. Being prepared to be a leader, firm but kind. Being prepared to be fair, but to weigh the consequences of her actions. A little alienated, even, from "mundane" things like passions and frivolities of life. The life of the Dalish is hard and does not have much room for such; something she gradually left behind in her youth.

During the Inquisition, she also learns. She learns about the real weight of her decisions in people's lives. She learns about sharing it with other people. She learns about the suffering and pain of other people besides the Dalish. And, more particularly, she learns to question her own views - with Solas and his stories about "the Fade". About how everything she has learned may have other facets. She also learns more about flexibility. And she learns about herself. About wanting someone and loving someone, about a connection different from the ones she has allowed herself to have until now.

In the ten years between the disbandment of the Inquisition and the reunion, she ponders. She learns more about what Solas saw. She immerses herself in Elvhen language and observes all the nuances he presented to her, and that materialized in front of her in the Temple of Mythal. She observes the society of Thedas as a whole and participates in decisions that affect more than her clan. And, even more, she thinks about the reunion. She thinks about what would have been if he had stayed. If he were still by her side, building a change little by little, instead of the rupture he planned. Instead of being a martyr, she allows herself to share the weight of these decisions as she has learned to do. I see some criticism saying that their relationship is weird because it feels like she's been passively waiting for him for 10 years, but that seems to me to ignore what 10 years can do in terms of someone maturing, but not necessarily in terms of changing something that's felt so deeply.

This makes me feel like their reunion and vows in Elvhen are even more special for both of them. They're not just something that should have happened years ago. They're a portrait of their growing up…and their love for each other.

[cassandra-pentughasst]

I'm learning a lot about Ellana these days.

[buttsonthebeach]

During Inquisition? 27

"Now," as in during the most recent thing I wrote for her timeline? About 60, I think

How old is your inquisitor?

Comment or write in the tags~

[redinkofshame]

Fanfic Writers Appreciation Day

Ink’s Fic Recs

I’ve always wanted to be more supportive of the other creators in the fandom but I’m a slow reader and I have a shit memory. I can’t remember who writes what, what OC belongs to who, or if I’ve read something already. I decided to start tracking the works I was reading as a draft, just for my own reference, so I can participate in ask memes and stuff. But apparently it’s Fic Writer’s Appreciation Day, so I thought I’d share it!

This is no where near a complete list of fic I’ve read or enjoyed, just what I’ve read since I started doing this. I will continue to update it as I read. If you’re a mutual and/or someone who reads my fics please reach out and tell me to read your stuff if you’re not on this list!!

Also I just FINALLY got my AO3 subscription emails to work correctly, so hopefully I can actually start keeping up.

The vast majority of these will be Solavellan.

@blarfkey AO3 Solas/Ellana Lavellan  Dear Fen’Harel is the cutest damn thing. It’s supposed to be inspired by Dear Daddy Long Legs? Which I can only assume is cuter than it sounds, based on this fic. It’s not quite done, but getting close. There’s a museum date chapter that’s to die for.

@broomclosetkink AO3 Solas/Ellana Lavellan and Solas/Harea Lavellan I think this was the first Solavellan fic I ever read, and I’ve gone back to it a dozen times. I was frustrated with the relationship in game and had to google where people did fanfiction these days. NSFT, because that’s definitely was I was looking for at the time x.x

@ellstersmash​ AO3 Solas/Athi Lavellan I’ve only read one of fics so far but it was lovely! Some big Solavellan angst simmered down to give you just as much pain in smaller word counts lol. Great characterization of Solas, and Athi is very fierce.

@elveny AO3 Solas/Lyssa Lavellan (born in an alienage) Her Spark of Hope timeline covers Lyssa’s life from early childhood up to and including Trespasser, and honestly of all the fics I’ve read I think this is the most I’ve ever felt connected with the author through the work. What she chooses to touch or focus on reminds me so much of my own experience in the fandom.

@bardinhightown AO3 Solas/Naia Lavellan A very cute Beauty and the Beast AU set in France, called La Belle et La Bête and set in France. Not quite complete, but almost there. I really like the interpretation of the curse. I think the Lavellans count as human in this one? Open to interpretation I suppose.

@keturagh AO3 Solas/Pangara Lavellan Ket (frequently blamed) is working on a big Lore Meta I’m majorly looking forward to. In the mean time, they have many small fics covering the course of Pangara and Solas’ relationship, from domestic to kinky AF, through the Inquisition timeline.

@luzial AO3  Solas/Ellana Lavellan I powered through Luzial’s (and Maerisk’s) Overgrown faster than I’ve read anything in a long time. Ellana is a reporter and Solas is her expert consultant. No where near complete if I had to guess, but you gotta love a fic with both Enemies to Lovers AND Fake Dating.

@roguelioness tumblr AO3 Solas/Samarra Bayart, Solas/Thalia  and Elise/Cullen A Whole New World is a longfic of a modern woman falling into Thedas, with dark!Solas. Very long, and more to come. For Goodness Bakes is absolutely adorable. She’s also got some Cullen/Trevelyan and some Krem/Maryden. 

@thevikingwoman tumblr AO3 Solas/Iwyn Lavellan One of my best friends in the fandom, Viking has dozens of drabbles, perfect bite size pieces of friendship or romance for when you just need a moment to unwind. She’s got a very gentle Solavellan fix it I recommend. Iwyn is a dom can be found in canon, modern AU, or the ice skating AU! 

[blarfkey]

From the "Fun meta asks for writers" - 1, 2, and one of your choice! <3

Thank you Holly! Sorry it took so long.

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Well for DA I have plans on finishing my modern college AU fic Dear Fen'harel, which I feel like is this fic most people know me for, lol It's been like four years since I started it and it's so close! I would have finished it earlier if it hadn't been for this school year honestly.

I also want to finish up my Solas/Cadash fic, Thick as Thieves because that one is getting close too and I've been dying to write the sequel for it for a long time.

Then I have my TFA AU Reylo fic that has been sitting for so long people have been asking me if its abandoned >.> In this one, Rey leaves Jakku before TFA to work as a technician and she keeps getting dragged into cleaning up the messes Kylo Ren makes in his temper tantrums while she befriends an unmasked Kylo, having no idea who he is.

And THEN I have my "Goblin fic" as my friends call it, which is fic for an obscure book series called The Hollow Kingdom where the protagonist has to fight off a Goblin king who intends to kidnap and marry her. Spoiler alert -- it's very enemies to lovers and they do get married and the fic is an insight to the early days of their marriage.

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I am DYING to finish Dear Fen'harel, now that we are finally at the point where all the juicy reveals are going to happen. I've been waiting for this moment for like FIVE YEARS.

18. (My choice!) Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

Dear Fen'harel has a few, lol. I have written some absolute filth for Zevran and Ellana because I got blindsided by their chemistry even though they aren't supposed to get together at all, ooops. That's called Something Good Can Work.

There is an AU for Ellana/Abelas where she house sits for Solas and Abelas crashes the party because he lost his job and is bumming off Solas now. They have only a handful of scenes together in DF but I've always enjyoed writing their subtle kinship being two Dalish elves alone and away from home, despite their very obvious differences.

And I really want to write out an AU for Solas/Dorian because I also got hooked in their friendship and shared history in this fic.

Thick as Thieves has a high school AU that I wrote and loved that kind of spawned an ot4 with @cartadwarfwithaheartofgold's Maria and Varric that exists exclusively in a google doc that I also write in when I'm bored.

[loke-reads]

Titre: D’un Monde à l’Autre Série: La Quête d’Ewilan, #1 Auteur: Pierre Bottero Date de publication: 2003

[Relecture] Commencé le: 09/01/2018 Fini le: 10/01/2018

Première phrase: “Camille était âgée exactement de quatre mille neuf cents jours, soit un peu plus de treize ans, la première fois qu’elle effectua “le pas sur le côté”.” Dernière phrase: “Dans la ruelle, il n’y avait plus personne.” Phrase préférée: “Camille se redressa. Un seul et immense cercle noir occupait tout l’espace du pan de velour blanc.”

Résumé: Camille est une jeune adolescente habitant chez une famille adoptive très froide avec elle, et dont le meilleur ami, Salim, est un garçon vivant dans une cité dont la famille ne se soucie guerre. Un jour, alors qu’elle est sur le point d’être renversée par un camion, elle se téléporte dans un autre monde... Après être revenue dans son monde, elle se fait attaquer par des monstres et se téléporte de nouveau, cette fois accompagnée de Salim. Ils ne tardent pas à comprendre qu’ils sont dans un autre monde, Gwendalavir. Là, ils rencontrent Edwin, le meilleur guerrier du royaume, qui les amène chez Duom Nil’ Erg, un analyste qui découvre que Camille est une Dessinatrice d’immense talent. En Gwendalavir, certaines personnes peuvent utiliser l’Imagination pour Dessiner, c’est à dire rendre réelle ce qu’elles veulent, ou encore se téléporter. Camille découvre qu’elle est originaire de Gwendalavir, que son vrai nom est Ewilan Gil’ Sayan, et que ses deux parents, Élicia et Altan, étaient deux Dessinateurs très puissants qui ont disparu 7 ans auparavant. La petite troupe se meta en route, accompagnée du chevalier Bjorn, du soldat Maniel et, plus tard, de la Marchombre Ellana, pour se rendre dans la capitale du royaume afin de protéger Ewilan. En effet, le royaume est en guerre, et les pouvoirs d’Ewilan semblent être la clef de la victoire! Mais Ewilan est jeune, trop jeune, et ses compagnons veulent qu’elle aille chercher son frère ainé dans notre monde pour qu’il puisse aider le royaume au mieux. Voici Ewilan et Salim revenus sur Terre et menant une enquête pour retrouver le mystérieux frère, Akiro. Après de nouvelles péripéties, et avec un Mercenaire du Chaos à leurs trousses, ils trouvent enfin Akiro mais il s’avère que son pouvoir est extrêmement faible, puisqu’il peut seulement changer les couleurs de dessins... Il refuse de rentrer avec eux en Gwendalavir, expliquand qu’il a déjà des parents aimants et une vie bien remplie sur Terre.

Mon avis: Pierre Bottero était l’un des auteurs les plus importants de mon adolescence, et relire ce livre après tant d’années fut un voyage plein d’émotions! J’adore les histoires de Gwendalavir, et j’avais l’impression de redécouvrir un vieil ami, me souvenant des évènements et des blagues juste avant de les re-découvrir. C’était aussi une lecture empreinte de nostalgie, de tristesse à l’idée que la plume de Pierre Bottero s’est reposée à jamais, mais aussi de joie car j’ai eu la chance de connaître cet auteur extraordinaire de son vivant et que le relire me rappelait sans cesse nos quelques conversations. En commençant ce livre, j’avais un peu peur d’être déçue comme on l’est parfois par des livres en les réouvrant des années après en être tombées amoureuses... Au contraire, je l’ai adoré comme toujours: les personnages sont vibrants (et diverts!), le monde fascinant, et les blagues toujours drôles! J’ai hâte de lire la suite!

[liaragaming]

Roleplayer

Modern AU where Solas and Lavellan are grad students who get pulled into Varric's tabletop roleplay campaign in which they play themselves from Dragon Age: Inquisition. Fluff, angst, and meta ensues.

If you’ve enjoyed Solas Romance D&D, it’s a fanfic now.

Fanfiction.net ArchiveOfOurOwn [Ch 2]

If her tall beautiful ears don't give her away, the vallaslin on her face certainly does: elven, Dalish.

Her chocolate eyes meet his, and she waves at him from the checkout line. He smiles and joins her, blocking out the stares and whispers from the humans around them. Perhaps it was naive of him to think after their first term at the University of Orlais the humans would have gotten over the token elves.

She gives him an enthusiastic one-armed hug. “It's so good to finally be meeting you properly.”

“It is,” he agrees as he pulls back. “Strange we haven't done so before now.”

“We've passed each other enough times in the Magical Studies building, you'd think we would have.”

They move up in the line and place their orders at the campus bagel sandwich restaurant. She orders something with turkey and pesto on an everything bagel. He goes for smoked salmon on pumpernickel.

“So how do you know Varric?” she asks as they wait.

“We were sponsored together. Dr Pentaghast scheduled our campus visits on the same day to lighten her schedule.”

She gives a laugh. “That sounds like her.”

He hesitates for a moment, not wanting to come off crass. “I heard your application was accepted late.”

She shakes her head. “No, my application was sent on time. I just couldn't choose an area of study. That's why my sponsorship was late.”

He cocks his head. “What were you having trouble deciding between?”

She drops her gaze to the floor. “Oh… so much...”

Their orders are ready. They take their wrapped sandwiches to a tall table where they sit and eat.

“I really was interested,” he tells her.

She chews slowly, like she isn't certain if she should share. “Well… I'm interested in magical practices with origins that have been attributed elsewhere but which certain evidence suggest may have originated with elves.”

“A worthy pursuit,” he says, hoping his approval comes through in his voice. “Difficult to research, I'd imagine.”

She nods. “Especially when so much of our history has been lost.” She glances around to make sure no one's eaves dropping on them and leans toward him so she can drop her voice. “And we have to rely on what was recorded by human historians.”

He nods. He's well aware of the struggle. “So what specific area did you choose?”

“Chantry magical practices.”

His eyebrows shoot upward. “Quite controversial.”

“Yeah,” she says. “I imagine that's why I was chosen over other applicants. Dr Pentaghast liked the idea, said that we must pursue the truth no matter how unpopular.” She sighs. “But it hasn't been easy to research. I may have to change my thesis.”

“I wish I could help,” he says.

“What about you?” she asks. “What are you studying?”

“The veil and it's disruptive properties in regards to harmonic vibrations.”

She blinks and stares at him. “You mean… what does that mean?”

“I mean, both reality and the fade contain harmonic properties and the veil acts as a sound barrier between the two.”

“Interesting.” She continues to stare at him, then shakes her head. “I've never head of such a thing.”

“It's a personal theory.”

“Have you… had much success in researching?”

“Some. Not as much as I would prefer.” He looks down at his watch. “We should probably start walking.”

They throw their sandwich wrappers away and leave the building to head down the campus sidewalks toward the university apartments. They each carry a coffee cup in their hand.

“How did you meet Varric?” Solas asks.

She laughs. “He came up to me my first day, said he wanted to meet the 'other elf,' and then… I don't know. He just kept talking, and… at some point we were friends.”

Solas chuckles. “That is how Varric makes most of his friends, I imagine.”

“So why did you agree to this whole… romance campaign?”

“I owe Varric a favor. You?”

“He's my friend,” she says. “I figured it didn't hurt to help him with his thesis, especially when I'm getting nowhere with mine.” She sighs.

He stares at her. There's a soft beauty to the way her dark hair lays against her olive skin. All those days passing her in the hall… He's not sure when exactly he started seeing past the vallaslin or what had made him want to get to know her. And then he'd felt like too much of an awkward idiot to finally say hello after he'd put it off for so long.

She notices him looking at her, and he averts his eyes.

“You know,” she says, “You can tell a lot about a person by the type of coffee they drink.”

He laughs. “Oh, really? And have you learned this from personal observation or an infograph on the internet?”

“A bit of both,” she admits. “One can use the infograph as a base and draw one's own conclusions.”

“Very well, I'm intrigued. What does your coffee of choice say about you?”

“It's espresso,” she tells him. “It means I'm friendly, adaptive, and I like the taste of coffee.”

“I see.” He studies her with his eyes. “The Dalish don't make coffee, which means you've picked up a taste for it during your studies. Adaptive indeed.”

“And what did you order?” she asks.

He smiles. “It's hot chocolate.”

She laughs.

“So what do your keen observational skills have to say about my drink of choice?”

She ponders for a moment. “You like what you like and don't apologize for it. And you… take joy in the simple things others may overlook… And you don't like the taste of coffee. Does that sound accurate?”

It does, actually. “I...” He slows in his walk until coming to a stop. She stops with him, and he shakes his head. “You are not what I expected.”

Her lips twitch into a smile. “What did you expect?”

“I've…” He looks away from her, hoping this won't come out as bad as it sounds in his mind. “Not had the most pleasant encounters with the Dalish.”

Her smile drops, and his heart falls into his stomach. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I didn't mean to offend,” he tires. “I just… most Dalish would not have left their clans to study at university, for example.”

The hurt dies from her eyes, but she chews on her lip. “That is… true.” Then she looks at him directly, her face full of determination. “I choose to pursue an education because… because if you don't widen your horizon beyond your personal zone of knowledge, how can you ever learn anything new?”

He is stunned, both by her admission and by her offense. “That is a rare view among most of Thedas,” he tells her. “Let alone the Dalish.”

She puts a hand on her hip. “Have my people wronged you in some way?”

“I offered to share knowledge. They were not very welcoming.”

“We take our duty to preserving the ancient ways very seriously.”

“So I gathered.”

She cocks her head. “What knowledge were you wishing to share?”

“Ancient secrets I have discovered in the Fade.”

She nearly drops her coffee twice, fumbling to keep her grip on it. She stares at him with wide eyes. “You're… you're a dreamer.”

He can only smile at her.

She bows her head. “I… mistook you for an…” She mumbles the last part. “Ignorant city elf.”

He gives a laugh. “Now that we've identified our prejudices, shall we start over?”

She lifts her head. “Yes, please.”

He holds out his hand. “Solas.”

“Mithra.”

They shake hands, and he holds hers for a moment as he translates her name. “Sharp as cutting edge.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Pride.”

They stare at each other for a moment, then let go and carry on toward Varric's.

Solas knocks on the door, and Varric answers.

“H-hey! The party's here!” He steps aside to let them in.

The front door opens into a hall, which leads passed the kitchen and into the dinning and living area. Varric's most likely the only person with enough influence and money to live on campus without a roommate. Solas has no idea what he does with the unoccupied bedroom, if he utilizes it at all.

“I want to thank you both again for agreeing to do this,” Varric says as they take a seat at the table.

“Your Chair actually recommended this?” Mithra asks.

Varric shrugs. “What could provide a better example than in-person roleplay? And by running the campaign, I have an objective view and can take notes on what works and what doesn't.”

“Why bother revising Swords & Shields?” asks Solas. “Why not just write new stories?”

Varric glares at him. “Publishing is all about sales, my friend. And if my publisher wants proof I can sell more romance, then by the Maker, I'm going to sell more romance.”

Varric claps his hands together as they pull out their character sheets. “So why don't you introduce your characters to each other?”

Mithra goes first. “Ellana is Dalish. Her clan is friendly with humans, and she comes near the conclave to hear about the outcome and determine how it may effect her people.”

“Fen is a Dreamer hedgemage,” Solas explains. “He approaches the conclave also in the hopes of hearing news.”

“Okay,” says Varric. “You both went a little more literal when I suggested you base your characters off yourselves, but that's fine. I can work with that.”

The campaign starts off as expected, battling demons and closing rifts. But Varric quickly steers the campaign into developing the relationship between their characters.

“You change everything.”

Mithra smiles at him.

“Roll a will save not to kiss her,” says Varric.

Solas rolls the die, and it comes up with a 20.

“You are totally safe from kissing her.”

Solas leans back and puts his hands behind his head.

Across the table from him, the corner of Mithra's mouth curves into a smirk.

She turns to Varric. “I kiss him.”

“Okay. Solas, roll another will save.”

He rolls, and the die shows 1. Varric laughs.

“What does that mean?”

“It means, Chuckles, not only do you fail at not kissing her, you spectacularly fail.”

“So…?”

“So what else does Fen want to do besides kiss her?”

He glances at Mithra who raises her eyebrows. Her smile spreads.

He adverts his gaze. “I, uh, he… I guess… pulls her close so their hips come together.”

Varric raises an eyebrow. “Anything else?”

He can't look at Mithra at all. “And… slides his thigh between her legs.”

Mithra laughs. Solas shields his face with his hand in an attempt to hide his embarrassment.

“And how does Ellana feel about this?”

“She's surprised… pleasantly.”

Solas chokes and tries to make it sound like a cough.

“Okay,” says Varric. “I think you two have given me plenty of material.”

Solas peeks between his fingers. He hopes he hasn't turned red; Mithra's gone pink in her cheeks.

“Varric, can I use your bathroom?” she asks.

He points down the hall. “First door on your right.”

She leaves. Solas lets out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and lowers his hand.

“Smooth,” says Varric.

“You kind of put me on the spot.”

Varric holds up his hands. “That's the way the dice roll, Chuckles.” He breaks down his game master screen and puts his dice away. “And if you don't mind my saying, there's clearly some chemistry going on, and it's not all one-sided.”

“You actually think so?”

Varric stares at him. “Just buy the girl dinner and take her out to a movie like a normal person.”

“It's not that simple,” Solas tells him.

“Of course it's not. Asking someone out is never simple. You just do it.”

“I'll think about it.”

Varric groans. “Look, I see where you're coming from with your character. And that's good storytelling, increases the tension. But it's not like you're actually Fen'Harel and you have some sacred duty you're hiding from everyone.”

Solas gives a laugh. “Hardly.”

“Then what is your problem?”

“A mystery for the ages,” Solas mutters.

“What?”

“Just something my roommate says.”

Varric points a pencil at him. “Listen, I had a roommate in undergrad – another broody elf like yourself – and it took him three damn years to go after the girl. Don't do that, okay? I don't feel like reliving it.”

Solas stands. “Good thing for you grad school takes less years.” He doesn't stay to catch Varric's reaction.

He and Mithra walk together from Varric's, back down the campus sidewalks. Dusk has fallen.

“So, Fen'Harel, huh?”

Solas sucks in a breath. Did she overhear his and Varric's entire conversation?

“Varric told me your character's backstory,” she explains. “He wanted to make sure I wouldn't be offended.”

“Oh.” He lets the breath out slowly. “Good, uh, are you? Okay with it, I mean.”

She shrugs. “It's an interesting concept. Why Fen'Harel, though?”

“Just some remnants I found in the Fade. I'm inclined to believe in ancient times harel meant rebel, not traitor.”

“Really?”

“Just from my own observations. I'm afraid I'm not a linguist.”

She stops walking. “So, you're saying, Fen'harel's story – the real one, the one the Dalish know – might be different?”

“Maybe?” He shrugs. “The thought was intriguing enough to inspire the character, but as far historical accuracy, I'm afraid...”

She stares at him for several seconds.

“Is something wrong, Lethallan?”

She shakes her head, more to pull herself out of her trance than in answer. “It's just… your dreaming, everything you must have seen... Were my people really so uninterested in sharing knowledge?” Her eyebrows are drawn together, her lips down turned, confused, distraught.

“Well.” He takes a step forward, encouraging her to follow. “Think of it this way. Here you are at university. You've come to discover new knowledge. Naturally, you'd be more open minded. Whereas I approached the Dalish in the woods where they are notoriously suspicious of outsiders. And as at first glance I appear to be nothing more than an ignorant city elf–”

“I really didn't–”

“I used your term only to clarify the situation, nothing more.”

She stops walking again, her gaze on the ground.

“I would not dwell on it,” he tells her. “For everything I've faulted the Dalish for, you are here.”

She looks up at him, her eyes shinning.

“It has been a long time since anyone cared to listen.”

She smiles, then steps forward and takes his arm. “I would love to hear about everything you've seen in the Fade.”

He laughs. “I'm afraid that would take more time than we have to reach the parking lot. But if you can think of something specific...”

She doesn't say anything, not for a while.

“Have you... done that before?”

He has no idea what she's talking about. “Done what?”

“The whole thigh riding thing.”

He chokes on his own saliva, disentangles himself from her, and dissolves into a fit of coughing. Her laughter fills his ears.

“You don't have to answer that,” she tells him once he's able to properly draw air into his lungs.

If he wasn't red before, he's sure he is now. He runs a hand over his face and around to the back of his neck. “I... uh...”

She clasps his arm again. “You don't have to answer.” He's not sure by her tone if she doesn't want to know or if she's trying to save face on his behalf.

But she doesn't let go of his arm until they reach her car, and he's fine with that.

[cassandra-pentughasst]

4 or 5 for the codex prompts (because I honest to god cannot remember if I sent you one and I meant to)

You did send it! I’m just shit at answering 😅 Thanks, this ended up being a lot of fun :)  4. a letter from your OC to their love interest  A hastily scribbled note from Inquisitor Lavellan from the desk of Lady Josephine Montiliyet, delivered by an aide to Seeker Pentaghast.   ---- Cass,  You will, as usual, be glad to know that you were right, so I will save you the “I told you so”. I’d ask you to save me from the tediousness of this meeting but I suspect Josephine already knows what I’m conspiring and I dread to think of the tasks she deems ‘essential’ Inquisitor business that needs my prolonged attention in my immediate future.  But you were right, and it is hard to determine what is worse - the endless opinions about the state of Thedas and all my shortcomings that this Duke insists that I listen to, or the knife that has taken up residence at the base of my skull.   Josephine is giving me that look, I think she knows I’m not taking notes or paying attention to this sad little man.   But please, my love, I have a small request that I would hope you would be willing to indulge me in this evening to help with this headache? The usual arrangement would be more than enough. I’ll owe you yet another favour.   Give me strength.  [a messy heart is drawn here] Lana.   a small stick figure with a frowning face and a quill is drawn beside a sad face with a vague likeness to the Inquisitor.         5. letters between two of your OC’s companions about them Buttercup, I’m a betting man but even I know it's foolish to bet against Blueberry and the Seeker. Besides, there are some things I would rather not think about the Seeker doing - ever.  ---- Varric, You just know I’ll win.  ---- Buttercup, Those two can barely keep their eyes off of each other. It's not so much a question of ‘if’ as it is ‘when’. For all we know - no the Seeker is terrible at keeping secrets, we’d know if they were together. ---- [A crude drawing with ample chest hair is drawn here] Little people say that Cassy-wassy has been spending the night with her Inkyness every night for the past week. I take payment in rounds at the Herald's Rest. Or jars of bees.  ---- Buttercup, I’ll believe it when I see it. Wicked Grace the night after tomorrow? ---- The morning after the inner circles weekly game of Wicked Grace, a basket containing a deck of cards, a bottle of brandy and an ominously buzzing jar wrapped in cloth appears in the room that Sera resides in. A small note on heavy paper stock is tied to the handle.  I’m glad she’s happy. - V

[cassandra-pentughasst]

Romance asks for Ellana & Cassandra: 13, 17, 20, 23 please!

Thank-you for the ask :) 13. How do they react at being away from each other? They miss each other terribly and depending on how long they spend apart it affects them both differently. Cassandra is weary if its Inquisition business the few times she hasn’t been part of the main party not because she doesn’t trust the others to protect Ellana but because she would feel better if she was there. She tends to become more irritable the longer they spend apart, but she also keeps to herself more than usual. When they go their separate ways after the defeat of Corypheus it takes a while for her to get used to the thought that there will be very long periods where they don’t see each other at all. She hates it and it takes a while for her to find her centre again but she trusts that things will work out in the end. Ellana depends. She keeps to herself but Dorian and the others do their best to keep her spirits up and for the most part they do. Her nightmares have a terrible habit of getting worse without Cassandra there beside her which Ellana isn’t quite sure how she feels about. She’s very good at hiding how much Cassandra’s absence affects her, but if they’re apart for more than a few months she finds compartmentalising her feelings becomes harder and she writes to Cassandra almost every day - she doesn’t send the letters but Cassandra finds the diary she would write in and is quite moved by it.  17 was answered here 20. Did either person change at all, to be with their partner? I think its safe to say that Cassandra did the most changing and I hope the way I wrote it was believable. Ellana changes as well I guess. Its no shock that she finds Cassandra attractive, I haven’t explored her past enough but she’s not exactly the most trusting of humans and the Chantry so some perceptions had to be challenged and changed for her initial physical attraction to shift into an emotional connection and then friendship, and then romantic desire and attraction. 23. Did you tailor your OC for the other in the romance? Not really? At least I don’t think I did. Ellana kinda... just was Ellana in a sense. Like if Cassandra hadn’t changed and grew the way she did she would have been content to move on after her feelings for Cassandra had faded. I play all my inquisitors the same pretty much just with different romances and the way I played her is the same way I played a male inquisitor, but the only difference between Ellana and all the other Inquisitors I’ve played is she made the jump from console to PC and grabbed me by the muse and said “I want that one” whilst pointing defiantly at Cassandra.  Ellana is essentially the reason I started writing at all in the first place so it's safe to say everything is her fault. 

[buttsonthebeach]

GUYS for like literally over a year now I have wanted to write a mini-fic exploring the summer Ellana turns 16, loses her parents, gets her vallaslin and gets married, and then loses her husband. Basically the summer she becomes who she is because she has to grow up. 

And I have ALL THESE SCENES PLAYING IN MY HEAD AND I CAN’T WRITE THEM DOWN YET but basically imagine teenage Ellana getting into fights with other teenagers in the clan, being Angsty and Grumpy and feeling like she doesn’t fit in and her parents don’t get her, resenting that they will never tell her about their life in the Ostwick alienage and wondering if she would fit in better there than with Clan Lavellan

And one fight gets bad enough (the kid is picking on her for being dark-skinned, curly-haired, for having Andrastian parents, and she breaks his nose) that one of the hahrens hauls her by her ear to the Keeper and Ellana is expecting to be punished until the next Arlathvhen but the Keeper is in an aravel with a sick family and his own skin is ashen with fear and he barely even reprimands her

And over the next few days it becomes apparent that a terrible illness is affecting large numbers of her clanmates, and people are dying in agony, and suddenly all those feelings of not fitting in don’t matter because this is her home, her family, and she is terrified of what is happening but can’t do anything about it

And then it comes for her parents - for the quiet father and the strict mother she had so recently been fighting with everyday - and she feels like she will never breathe right again without them

And then it comes for the Keeper who had always been so impatient with her difficulty learning to read, who told her she was stupid for not learning at the same pace as the other children, who hadn’t even wanted to let her parents into the clan in the first place, and then it comes for the First, and now it’s their Second, Deshanna, who has to take the lead, and suddenly it feels like every authority, every grown-up, every person who knew what to do, is gone - like the rest of them are all alone, helpless, in a big cruel world

And then Deshanna declares Ellana old enough for her vallaslin, old enough to go and hunt for the clan, to provide for them, because so many of their hunters are dead now, and Ellana takes June’s vallaslin to honor her parents, the crafts they made, and she realizes she has to grow up now, that none of the people in authority ever had any idea what they were doing either

And meanwhile this shy young halla keeper named Mahanon is always mooning after her, and she isn’t entirely sure what to do about that, but she thinks she likes it, thinks she likes him, and when Deshanna says that they should marry she decides it’s for the best, and he makes her smile, and for a few months at least it seems like things are on the mend, like Clan Lavellan is recovering, like she herself is recovering

And then, like that, Mahanon is dead too. One last victim of the plague that nearly got them all.

And Ellana weeps and mourns. But she also gets up. Cuts back the long curly hair that the other kids used to make fun of her for because all it does is get in the way now. Looks at her vallaslined face in the pool where she shaved. And she makes up her mind then and there to just go on, because people need her, and she will never fail them. She will live only for them, from now on.

(But there is always that part of her, isn’t there? The one that wonders what would have happened if she had run away that summer, instead, gone to Ostwick, gone to Nevarra, gone all the way to Ferelden - if she had gotten out there and seen the world, and seen herself reflected in it, instead of turning inward forever, towards her clan, away from her own feelings and needs. That wonders if she should have taken Deshanna up on her offer to find her another mate after she was done mourning Mahanon. 

But she’ll have to wait 11 years to have those questions answered. For a different summer, the summer when she turns 27, when Clan Lavellan is strong again, when mages and templars are at war, and Deshanna comes to her and talks to her about a place called the Temple of Sacred Ashes in the Frostback Mountains. For the first time that Ellana looks around and thinks they don’t really need me here, after all, no one will miss me if I am gone, I have served my purpose and it’s better that I go than someone else who really matters, who really belongs here, who has never questioned whether or not they belong.

And that’s a different story entirely.)

....anyway that’s my fic for the day bye guys

[cassandra-pentughasst]

4 and 14 for the DA protag questions! :D

oooh thank-you 💚💚💚💚4 - What would they think about each other’s love interests (if they romanced someone of course) Sophia Mahariel - She would admire Isabela’s free spirit and strong sense of self. I think she would be amused that Ellana fell for someone she knows through Leliana and would probably relate to her the most considering they both fell in love with chantry women in similar “the fate of the world rests on my shoulders” kind of situations. She would approve of Cassandra making an effort to learn about Ellana’s background and of how protective and supportive she is of her.Emilia Hawke - She would like Leliana. And she would respect her immensely considering everything she’s been through in life.I feel like she’d butt heads with Cassandra because Varric is her best friend so she dislikes her on principle on account of how she treated him. But aside from that she would probably admire her conviction and her devotion to Ellana - she likes the Inquisitor so surely she sees something in Cassandra so she trusts her judgement.Ellana Lavellan -Leliana scares the shit out of her, but she has a lot of respect for her and quite literally trusts her with her life regularly which is something she would never be able to do with someone she had any doubts about. Isabela would interest her. Someone who goes after what she wants and lives life on her own terms? A woman that's independent and chooses people because she wants them not because she needs them?  14 If they’d been in each other’s places would they have made the same or different choices? And who would they have romanced, if anyone?This is difficult because I’ve spent so much time developing Ellana and its been so long since I played Origins and DA2 so I’m just going to answer for Ellana.OriginsI think she would have made similar choices to Sophia, she would have absolutely been willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to defeat the arch-demon. She would have freed Sten and freed Connor. She wouldn’t even consider annulling the circle and would hold a lot of resentment for Cullen and the Templars for ever suggesting it. She would have found a way to lift the curse on both the Elves and the Werewolves and would have done everything she could have to save Redcliffe. As for romances, I know I write her as someone who is only attracted to women, but I can see her and Zev being a good fit for each other. I think they both have the same trepidations around feeling like they deserve love, but given the chance, they’re completely smitten and devoted to their chosen partner.

Her and Leliana would probably work well together too and Ellana is definitely a sucker for a pretty redhead that could kill her with ease that's also an awkward softie.

Actually, I don’t normally ot3 but I’m going to say both Zev and Leliana for Ellana because I can’t decide.DA2Again I feel like she’d make similar choices to Emilia. There's no way in hell she’d hand Fenris or Isabela over. She’d never even consider killing Merril’s clan - she’d be devastated if anything happened to he own clan and wouldn’t do that to another elf, she has very strong opinions about the Dalish and everything that's been done to them in the name of the Chantry, The Maker and Andraste. She’d be miffed about what happened with the desire demon but she wouldn’t hold a grudge for too long. Varric is her bro so she’d help him with his brother and she may not see eye to eye with Aveline all the time but she would help her with Donic. She’d get the Qunari to leave Kirkwall. And after losing her mother she would do everything she could to make sure Bethany lives through the final battle. She’d feel incredibly betrayed by Ander’s actions with the Chantry, and would not approve of helping him in his plans the way she did without knowing what he had planned - but she would let him go free at the end because her dislike for the Chantry and everything they’ve done far outweighs the actions of one man. I’m not sure who she would romance. I can see her having something no strings with Isabela in the beginning but I’m not sure how she would handle everything that happens in that romance in-game?I kinda like the idea of an Ellana Hawke that sticks around in Inquisition and ends up romancing Cassandra because I’m an absolute slut for my otp in almost any context *shrugs*

[buttsonthebeach]

Ellana’s Worst Self

Tagged by @thevikingwoman to take this quiz for an OC! This is a great exercise if you have never done it. It’s so important to be as familiar with your character’s worst self as with their best. (In my creative writing classes, we called it “knowing their dark” and said that it had to be clear to the reader very quickly what that character’s “dark” was.)

I’d say this was veeerrryy accurate for Ellana. She was an angry kid and picked a lot of fights when she was a teenager, before her parents died. She does not love violence but she also doesn’t necessarily lose a lot of sleep over using violence when she feels it is justified. 

Let’s not forget her solution to the climax in my fic Awakened, and the fact that when she isn’t there to carry out that solution in the sad AU, things go very, very differently.

Tagging: @mistressdreadwolf, @galadrieljones, @idrelle-miocovani, @empresstress13 (is Bea similar to her cousin?), @water-whisp, @scharoux, and anyone else who wants to do this!

[buttsonthebeach]

I'm in an asking mood, I hope you don't mind - some theoretical 'what if's: A) What if Ellana has discovered that Solas was Fen'Harel during the Inquisition (before he broke up)? (any odd way, but somehow she figured it out, and he doesn't know she knows). B) What if Solas told the truth in Crestwood? How would Ellana react? Thank you!

Oooh, I love this! Thanks for sending it!

(Under the cut because it got long)

A) I feel like if Ellana was going to work it out at all, she’d work it out after the Temple of Mythal, but before he decides to take her to Crestwood. She might even figure it out after meeting Flemeth, which really shakes her. Ellana is essentially agnostic, having been raised by two city elf Andrastians in the midst of a very traditional Dalish clan, which was a confusing upbringing to say the least - her parents prayed to the Maker quietly in their aravel, but encouraged her to only think of herself as Dalish, but still grimaced at the idea of her taking vallaslin and dedicating herself to these ancient gods. That left her questioning all religions, honestly, since the adults in her life couldn’t seem to agree.

So, there would be no religious component to her realization, other than confusion - so was one of the religions she grew up around right after all? Ellana’s pretty blunt, so after a day or so of confused reflection, she’d just march up to Solas and ask him. I’d also assume she wouldn’t have worked out the bit about the Veil, so her questions would focus only on “how are you still alive? are the stories about you true? why didn’t you tell me?”

Where it went from there would depend on Solas’s reaction, honestly. If he doubled down and tried to lie or hide or leave, she would definitely try and stop him. If he leveled with her, she would listen. It wouldn’t become a problem until he mentioned his whole tear-down-the-Veil plan.

B) Ellana would be stunned, of course - but the first thing I imagine her saying is honestly “is this the pain you have been carrying with you all this time?” It would be a relief, almost. It would clarify her understanding of him at last. Especially if he admitted that the orb was his mistake, but he no longer wanted to tear down the Veil, and wanted to stay with her. She would just want to hold him and assure him that she loved him.

….I’m sure there would be many moments after that where she goes “what the FUCK were you thinking??” but her initial reaction would be very compassionate.

[buttsonthebeach]

So, I am part way through Awakened, and I have a sort of desperate need to know more of Ellana in Enasan, and their life there. I would love to see a little glimpse of her spending time with a friend? It seems that many of the Inquisition people are spread out and not talking, or far away like Dorian - but she must have some friendships, some people or person she spends time with? Who does she visit when Solas is not there? You can consider this a prompt or just a question as you wish.

So, this is one thing that I found very interesting about writing Ellana in her time as a politician for Enasan, and something I drew from reading about other famous people in positions of power (like American presidents) - it is almost impossible to form new friendships after your rise to fame and power. You are left constantly questioning why someone wants to befriend you, what their motives are, what they want from you. And even if their intentions are pure, chances are that they can’t understand the life you lead on a day to day basis.

That said - Ellana certainly bonds with the people she works with. She mentors Ilriane Tabris (a character who appears in Reckoning) and works well with Arlanal and other members of Enasan’s council (who all, again, don’t appear until Reckoning). But I wouldn’t call any of those friendships very - deep or emotional. For that, Ellana still turns to the people she knows best - the people who knew her before and during her rise to power.

Also, Ellana is a bit of an introvert - not full-on, like some of my characters (looking at you, Lucius), but she certainly likes her alone time and finds new people a bit draining. If Solas is gone, she’s probably spending time with Ashara, and if she’s had it with Ashara, she is probably on the crystal talking to Dorian or Bull. She’s not likely to go out seeking new friends. It does mean she’s a little isolated, but I think that’s a consequence of her personality and her position in the country she helped make.

Thank you for the ask, and for being SUCH A GOOD READER AND FRIEND OMG

[cassandra-pentughasst]

What were Ellana and Cassandra's first impressions of each other?

WELL. They technically meet properly when Ellana is in chains and it's safe to say things don't go real well. I say technically because Ellana saw Cassandra and Leliana in Kirkwall before the conclave and was curious enough about the attractive stranger to do some snooping. When she wakes up though she's mostly mad because she's being blamed for something that she knows she didn't do even though she has no memory of it. She's also mad because she finds this woman incredibly attractive and has a little bit of a love-at-first-sight thing going on. Cassandra is mostly frustrated by how difficult the prisoner is being by refusing to speak but she's a little desperate and needs someone to to explain what the hell is even going on anymore. Though she can't explain it part of her believes this small woman when she says she doesn't know what happened and that part of her is usually right. I think beyond her initial frustration she finds her intriguing and admires her sharpness. They butt heads a little because they're both headstrong when they think they're right/feel like they're on the defensive. I think Cassandra knew she was going to like her when Ellana found a bow when they were on their way to the rift and Ellana didn't even flinch and pointed out she couldn't do everything when Cassandra had her at sword point. Cassandra not intimidating people is rare for her and Ellana was basically just "yeah uh huh I'm not doing that, moving on" which was quite disarming.