#Ego Ella May

[jacobwren]

Ego Ella May - In The Morning | A COLORS SHOW

[kickmag]

Second Summer (Not Indian) Playlist

Check out the Second Summer (Not Indian) playlist.

[inyourfacex]

Ego Ella May - Undone

[seymourmusicclub]

Ego Ella May - Alright

[suga-kookiemonster]

now why is jungkook on my phone folding his underwear

[thousandisthemaximum]

Puntine #120 - Canzoni da ricordare questa settimana

https://www.dlso.it/site/2023/09/27/puntine-120-canzoni-da-ricordare/

[ebonysplendor]

Bad End Cinderella (Demo)🤴

TL;DR: You ever look at a character in a story and think that they're deserving of what they got? Well, maybe, they can still get their good end, too. ...But probably not in this case.

Game Link: https://sauceco.itch.io/bad-end-cinderella

Notable Features: Male MC, Named MC, female LI, story heavy Spiciness: 1/5 -- And it's not really even spicy. The man is taking a bath with a glass of wine. Don't get me wrong, he looks good, but it's more of a vibe versus suggestive. LI MC Red Flags: 2/5 -- Obsessive, possessive, short-tempered, entitled, self-centered; he doesn't do much, but you can tell that it's brewin'.

Wanna know more? Even though it doesn't say 18+ explicitly, it does say that minors shouldn't interact...which is anyone under 18. That being said, shuffle off if you aren't of age. If you are of age, let's get into it!

Ah, intros. I never know what to put in them, so...I guess I'll talk more about the game but not so much it'll make the review pointless.

So, this game was really good, and it's not even done. Like, ugh, the writing is just so...it's elegant. Like, I want to buy it some champagne and do the posh "Oh ho ho ho ho~!" laugh as we exchange tales about poor people activities, even though I am the poor people, ya feel me? Let me tell you though, the story is everything but elegant. Like, the yandere? A royal? More like a royal fuck up. Ohhhhh~! Got hit ass!

Also, I almost forgot to mention that I put "MC Red Flags" because we're playing from the yandere's point of view which makes us him and him the main character and the main character is us since we're making the decisions for him. See? We're him and he's us. Just a heads up for that one.

Okay, is-- is the intro long enough? Are you cool with the intro being this short? Genuinely? You're gucci with me just jumping in? Because, I'm deadass just stalling. Bless you, let's stop stalling then, because I really want to tell you about this game. As usual, I'll tell you as much about the visual novel as possible without ruining the story itself.

With that out of the way, let's get into it.

Once upon a time Yeah, nah. I know it flows like a fairy tale and all, but nah. We're doing this my way.

So boom (ah~ much better).

Our -- well Claude's; that's the yandere by the way -- wife left us for some wack ass pleb, and we are officially the gossip among the commoners and will lowkey be the laughing stock of the royals. Honestly, it's embarrassing and really damned infuriating.

We're kind've running back where the marriage went wrong, and we've pretty much come to the conclusion that shit went left when we chose a hoe over our heart. Who was our heart, you ask? None other than our housemaid and (lowkey) childhood friend/sweetheart Ella.

We start reminiscin' about our one and only Ella, and just kind've recalled that we hadn't felt that genuine warmth, love, and happiness since her. Like, yeah, admittedly, we felt that with our wife for a bit, but it was mainly because she kind've boosted our ego quite a bit in the beginning, and it's like...she was there, so we may as well have learned to vibe with her a bit.

Pfft, yeah right. You see how that shit turned out. 6 years of straight misery. Fuck her and fuck that baker, too. Well...I don't know if he was a baker or not but...look, Silvia is a hoe, and so is her entire damned lineage. Period. Ella would've never ran off with some peasant the way that she did.

Wait...

Actually...we never really thought about that before. Granted, what we said about Ella never treating us the way that our ex-wife had is true, but we're starting to think that maybe that other part about her never running off with some guy is...not entirely true.

No, no, no, no, no. Negative thoughts rejected. That can't be true; it's not true. She's our Ella, and our Ella would've waited for us; our Ella did wait for us. We just have to finalize this stupid divorce and go looking for her.

So, we do. We finish the paperwork, break the shackles of being held down by a harlot that we tried to make into a queen just for her to go back to the cobblestones where she belongs, and look for our precious Ella. That being said, even though true love conquers all, this is pretty tall task to accomplish on our own, so we go to our main ally:

Esra, the royal oracle.

Nah, don't get excited, because this was a fucking waste of our time. This man wasn't an ally at all, let alone any actual help!

First off, we asked him for help, and it's just attitude with him. Like, excuse you? I'm your king? Watch your tone? Second, when we finally do get him to the point where he actually does what he's supposed to do, this mothafucka looks in his little special book and is like "Don't do it". Like, huh?! The fuck you mean "don't do it"? I ain't ask you for advice, I asked you for help, specifically how to get to my damned Ella. Then he's all "Okay, but the stars said--!" and we're like "Boy, fuck you and them stars"! Like, sir, not you telling me not to look for my Ella?!

Bump it.

We just take our lil' "help" and go on about our business, but it's like, it sucks, because now, we have to regroup and consider another ally. We start getting frustrated because why should we even have to do this in the first place, ya know? Like, why couldn't that dumbass oracle just help us like instructed? Now, because of him, we have to waste more time finding another ally, and the only other person we can even consider is ... oh Gods why ...

Floren fucking Winters. Let me tell you about this motherfucker...

He was the biggest ass to us when we were children, but unfortunately and admittedly, his bloodline is pretty top tier when it comes to combat. That being said, because of the arrangement between our families, we stay royal and they stay loyal per our late father's decree, so Floren's dad served, Floren currently serves, his future kid will serve, and so on and so forth. Anyways, I'll get more into this asshat's backstory with us later.

So, Floren comes trotting over in the middle of our monologuing talking mad shit already. He pretty much leads with "Worried about me when your divorce isn't even finalized? That's crazy. Oh, and that guy she ran off with? Lmao I bought him a beer".

Oh word? Is this what we're gonna do? Haha ooh, bitch...

Let me explain something real quick to y'all.

This dude (likely) had feelings for Ella at one point, too, if not still, and has always thought that we weren't good enough to be in her graces. That being said, remember that whole arrangement I brought up earlier? We stay royal and they stay loyal? Guess who had to ship out for 5 years to war? Guess who was making the moves on Ella for those 5 years when he was gone? Yeeeeeeeeah lmao.

So we remember all this, and we take a quick second to get on our king shit, because at the end of the day, he's beneath us, and we're damned sure gonna remind him.

See that? Now those of you that watch anime know that when the protagonist or the antagonist does this, they're about to lay into that ass and fuck up someone's world.

"Remember when you were playing hero those 5 years? It took less than that for Ella to create a divot in my hand and in my arms. Our worst times together were, would be, and are significantly better than your best times with her. Tell me you're jealous without telling me that you're jealous. Letting my birthright dictate what I do? Couldn't be me~"

Look at his face. Look at those dots. Silence. We ain't even have to correct him about the divorce...I mean, we did, but you know...summarizing. Wait, stop, don't get me off track.

Even though we just said all of that, and we had a "checkmate, bitch" sort of moment, we didn't really "win" the argument, because Floren kind've checks us about one very specific detail.

"'Couldn't be you?' Dude, it was you. You threw Ella away like a used toy when Silvia came along, and now you suddenly want to play with her again? The way that you're treating her like an object that's only there for your convenience is actually gross."

...Chile, so anyways. That thing about allies? Floren is far from one.

Even though, he was lowkey right. If Ella saw us now, she...wouldn't be entirely happy, especially about how we kind've blew up at Floren like that. We really have changed over the years, and we're starting to question our own integrity a bit despite feeling like we're still a good person overall. We love Ella, -- our Ella -- and we would do literally anything to be reunited with her.

"Are you so willing to risk the lives of unwilling innocents just to achieve your goals?"

Easily. The stars refused to shed light on our fate when asked, so I'll commit the sin first and ask for forgiveness later. That being said...

And we are probably going to sin a lot.

I'm gonna repeat myself a little bit here, but y'all the game isn't even done, and it's this good! Admittedly, as some of you that have been rocking with me know, I'm conceited when it comes to these visual novels, so I always want to be able to self-insert, and (of course) I prefer the LI to be a guy. That being said, when I saw that this was what it was I was like "Eh..." but considering that I'm a sucker for styling and that this was one of the people who are working on the masterpiece Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack -- **cough cough** I have a review of it here; shameful plug **cough cough** -- I gave it the ol' college try.

Okay, so, let's talk about the pacing, which was amazing. It honestly could not have been executed any better, in my opinion. The way that it just jumps right into the thick of it but not so much so that it's disorienting was such an Olympic skill. It was just so crazy that the dev was able to do that but still ease into the actual story where we see this man slowly spiral and the plotline start to take hold. It was just so beautifully done. Speaking of being beautifully done...

The yandere, Claude, is being written so well. Like mentioned, I'm genuinely enjoying the slow spiraling of this man, and I cannot wait to see how far he'll actually go for this Ella girl. Like, to read about the moment that he realized that "Oh shit...what are the chances that the woman that I blew off didn't actually wait for me?" and then he basically gets bout it, bout it with the royal oracle AND the captain of the royal guard? Not to mention, he actually acknowledges that something is potentially off with him but he rationalizes his actions and says that he's a good person and that he's doing it for love?! Like, brooooooo. We don't see it yet, but this man is bound to become a menace, and I am demanding an update!....please, I fucking beg, dev. I. BEG.

Also, just as a side thing. Can we just take a minute to talk aboUT HOW FINE FLOREN WINTERS IS???

Like Claude and Ersa are cute, don't get me wrong, but it's something about Floren. Hell, it's not something, it's errythang about Floren Winters! Like, that is hubby. That is baby daddy, and I don't even want kids, ya feel me? Like, I volunteer to keep that whole "You'll serve, your children'll serve, and then their children'll serve, and so on" thing going. We can spend plenty of time to make some babies, okay?

But no, yeah, I feel very strongly about the direction that this game is going in, and I am really excited about how the story will pan out. Like, what the hell was Ersa referring to? Why did his face literally just...?

Like, do you see that? That is genuine horror. Like, I imagine that he's seen countless prophecies, both good and bad, so what kind've shit did he see that was so appalling that he was just like "Bro, don't do this"? Like, deadass, my guy? Just straight up don't do it?? DUDE, WHAT TF DID HE SEEEEEE??????? Like, I want to know so bad! Best believe that if and when this full game drops, I will be right damned there!

Anyways, I'm gonna end it there because some of you already know how I get when it's a game that I really like. I'm gonna stop my yapping while I'm ahead. Before I officially end it though, I want to give you guys the link just in case you want to play it for yourself, and I absolutely think that you should. Also, it's been a while since the dev has gotten any comments, so if you want to do my bidding and let them know "PLEASE. I MUST KNOW HOW CLAUDE FUCKS THIS UP. UPDATE PLEASE. I mean...rest and take your time, but I'm literally offering my soul here", I'm sure they'd be delighted to know that people are still enjoying and anticipating their game. I'm pretty certain they're a part of the SnaccPop team, but I didn't see anything to donate to them as their own separate creator. If you find something, I'm sure they'd appreciate the monetary support, especially individually.

Okay, I'm gonna stop yapping for realsies now. Big preesh for getting this far. Like always, please remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Bad End Cinderella

[kickmag]

Ego Ella May Reveals Higher Self Single

Ego Ella May shares the "Higher Self" from her forthcoming FIELD NOTES Pt III EP. The paean to self-care moves easily via a jazzy percussion section, a wall of calming voices courtesy of For The Culture Collective, and a muted trumpet. May's vocals are breathy and delicate in an undistracted purpose to promote self-love. The singer commented on the song in a press release.

“‘Higher Self’ is produced by myself and Dougie Stu (who you may remember from ‘Centred’ on my FIELDNOTES PT II EP that came out last year). We made this song in LA last April and it was such a fun one to make! It's about self-love, and the way I imagine my higher self engages and speaks with me, challenging all the thoughts I have about being hard to love. It’s a mantra of sorts that I hope will stick with you.”

"Higher Self" can quell anyone's anxiety who listens by instilling confidence with a powerful affirmation. 

[kevleth-archive]

𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐃𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐒

keyleth, +25. sou a player das seguintes personagens: @ffearne, @princsslidia, @maoziinha, @rapvnzcl, @victorvdort, @namaaari, @lsabelamadrigal, @mmurrays, @darliinqwendy, @dianarollsdice

abaixo você pode encontrar algumas informações pertinentes sobre cada uma delas.

tá desatualizado, foi mal.

central de relacionamentos !!

FAUNA

aka: fearne pronomes: ela/dela espécie: fada faceclaim: ashley johnson

caótica, você pode encontrar ela pela floresta encantada, quase sempre acompanhada (por alguém ou por uma horda de animais), procurando alguma coisa para aprontar fazer. motivo #1 dos cabelos brancos na cabeça do outono, sua maior motivação para sair da cama todo dia é viver a vida ao máximo... isso às vezes faz com que não se importe muito com quem está indo junto. é ótima cuidando de crianças, tho.

LÍDIA

pronomes: ela/dela espécie: humana faceclaim: marisha ray it's her

princesa que, se pudesse, trocaria toda riqueza do mundo por uma vida livre e sem expectativas de seus pais em cima dela. é distraída, coitada, mas juro que consegue manter uma conversa. bastante física, gosta de se manter ativa e já machucou quase todo mundo sem querer, eu juro ao seu redor. tá louca apaixonada pela cinderella, quem pensa ser uma outra princesa, nem sonha com o mundo de segredos que ella mantém.

MÃOZINHA

aka: seraphine pronomes: ela/dela espécie: undead/elfo faceclaim: *harp sounds* laura bailey

um mistério, o passado de seraphine. faz uns três meses que não é mais só uma mão decepada que ajuda os Addams por aí, e a adaptação a ter todo um corpo de volta tem sido lenta: é normal ela esquecer que tem um, ou sentir tanta coisa ao mesmo tempo, que trava no meio da rua. apesar do jeitinho meio aéreo quando lidando com outras pessoas, ela é uma exímia arqueira e vive com uma tristeza muito grande dentro do peito, da qual ela nunca fala a respeito.

RAPUNZEL

pronomes: ela/dela espécie: humana faceclaim: jessica alexander

leonina, gente. precisa falar mais? foi criada num orfanato, aprendeu a se virar sozinha e jura que gosta assim, ou pelo menos jurava até conhecer flynn e achar nele um parceiro perfeito... não que ela diga isso em voz alta, caso estejam perto de alguém. tem um ego maior que a mais alta torre do castelo mais alto, e jura que consegue se livrar de tudo jogando um how u doin' pra cima de quem quer que seja. quando não dá certo, ela corre.

VICTOR

pronomes: ele/dele espécie: humano faceclaim: xiao zhan

bobinho, gagueja demais quando tá perto de mulher bonita... e mesmo assim tá apaixonado por duas. foi convidado a se retirar da casa dos pais quando fez uma coisa que queria, e agora vive numa casinha minúscula e dá aula de piano para não morrer de fome. e ela cuida de uma gatinha de rua quando ela aparece na janela dele.

NAMAARI

pronomes: ela/dela espécie: humana faceclaim: elodie yung

com uma tarefa bem definida na cabeça, é meio complicado de conversar com ela sobre a vida, o universo e tudo mais... mas você tem uma chance se chegar falando sobre dragões. ela é super focada e dorme/sonha/acorda pensando em como resgatar os pedaços da joia de sisu e salvar kumandra. also raya ela tá se escondendo do rumpel porque tinha sido paga pra dar cabo na raya e obviamente não cumpriu o acordo.

ISABELA

pronomes: ela/dela espécie: humana faceclaim: adria arjona

a golden child dos madrigal, alguém realmente ficaria surpreso de descobrir que ela entrou em combustão diante das expectativas colocadas em cima dele? sério? então, fugiu de casa depois de não ter sido aceita pela avó e tá tentando fingir que sabe se virar sozinha. she's a fighter, tho.

MINA

pronomes: ela/dela espécie: vampira faceclaim: anya chalotra

a mais nova bibliotecária de ttd, passou uns três séculos atravessando a vida por entre as sombras e aprendeu que quem se esconde sempre tem um motivo pra isso e se tornou bastante compreensiva do tipo de criatura que a maioria procura evitar. ela é um amorzinho, de coração mole, que usou seu tempo nesse mundo aprendendo a usar os melhores lados dela em serviço dos outros.

andei meio super distante nos últimos meses e adoraria plotar com quem ainda não conheço/tenho nada, então se tiver interesse em alguma dessas loucas, chega no chat que a gente conversa direitinho a respeito. <

[innytoes]

Ooo for the autumn prompts #22 for Ray/Rose/Bobby & their kiddos would be super cute!

Because you said Bobby and not Trevor for some reason my brain insisted on Sunset Curve Never Died AU, so um... enjoy.

When Julie and Carrie came to them and said they'd decided they wanted to all go as Food for Halloween, Bobby was a little relieved. Last year had been Princesses, which had also been fine, until he realised that no, all of them had to be princesses. Yes, even Papi and Dad.

It wasn't even that he was embarrassed to be seen out in public in in a frilly dress. He'd long outgrown his need for everyone to think he was Cool. It was mostly that Carrie insisted he wear heels, which was agony on his feet, and legs, and honestly his butt and back.

Also, that Ray looked way hotter in a princess dress than him.

Food, he could do. A giant carrot costume or something would be warm, and comfortable, and he could probably get away with sneakers.

Of course he should have known the sparkle in Rose's eye when she said she'd take care of it with the girls meant nothing good. His partner loved nothing more than to poke gentle fun at her two dorks. It was just that Bobby was a much easier target than Ray.

Of course there was the whole 'Bobby hit on her as an incredibly uncool and awkward seventeen year old'. That was a given. Thankfully she hadn't been cruel in turning him down, and he'd sulked to Sam 'n Ella's just in time to hear Reggie say 'street dogs haven't killed us yet', steal a bite from a protesting Luke's hotdog, and demand they get pizza instead.

They'd only just made it through the final bows before Alex ran off stage to puke, closely followed by the rest of them. Rose had been the one to call the ambulance,

They'd signed their record deal in the freaking hospital, because a little near-death food poisoning experience wasn't going to stop Luke Patterson from getting things done.

They'd used a little of their signing bonus to send a fruit basket and some cash to the cleaning crew at the Orpheum.

Thankfully, Bobby was able to leave that all behind him. Becoming a rockstar was surprisingly good for him and the boys. Instead of sex, drugs, and rock and roll, it was mostly rock and roll, decent food, and well, okay there was some sex.

A lot of sex.

A lot of sex that resulted in Bobby's life being turned upside down at a tiny little squirming baby with big brown eyes and a killer set of lungs.

Their lives changed a little after that, nobody's more so than Bobby. Thankfully he had his boys with him, to advocate with him to the label, to take shifts with a screaming, crying infant (they may not want to play Reggie's country songs on stage, but they all had to learn them at some point, because it was the only thing that calmed Carrie down), to help him through the lows and celebrate the highs.

Still, most of the actual parenting fell on Bobby. So when Carrie made a friend at toddler yoga (shut up Luke it's good for her coordination and motor skills), and that friend's dad was hot... well, Bobby waited a few more classes until he was pretty sure the guy was single and then hit on him.

Which was of course the exact day that Ray Molina, dad of the year, had brought his wife to his weekly Daddy Daughter Date, and Bobby got turned down ever so gently again.

It hadn't been a good blow for his ego, especially not when he realised who Rose was. But thankfully, Rose took it in good humour, and so did Ray, and at least he got two new parent friends out of it.

And then a year later, more.

Still, even after four years together, Rose delighted in teasing him just a little, so when she handed him his costume and he saw what it was, all he could do was sigh and give her a 'really?' look, before pasting on a smile for the girls. "I love it," he lied, and they cheered.

So yes, on Trick of Treating afternoon, he rocked up to the curb in his Hotdog costume, Rose as a strawberry milkshake and Ray as his Side of Fries, while they carted around their little cupcake (Carrie), Strawberry (Julie) and Pumpkin (Carlos).

Of course Rose got the guys in on it, and the girls were very excited to see their Uncles Reggie and Luke as Ketchup and Mustard, as well as Uncles Alex and Willie as a jar of pickles (Oh god he remembered hearing about the pickle juice on those battery cables) and... a giant banana.

"Banana?" he asked Willie. Usually he and Alex did a couple's costume. Willie dramatically lowered himself into a split, and smirked.

"Banana split." He said, waggling his eyebrows. "I'm dessert."

He rolled his eyes, but the girls and Carlos laughed, so really, what more could he want?

And maybe that night, once the kids went to bed and all the candy was handed out and the porch light was off, he got his revenge on Rose, sexily posing in the doorway of their bedroom in Just The Costume and asking her if she wanted to 'taste his hotdog'.

[saradotpsd]

An obsessive girl’s guide to books about obsession

Originally posted on Medium here.

The word obsession and its variations will appear in this piece at an annoying rate for you, I’m sorry in advance.

I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole and I’m enjoying it too much to leave. It is eye opening as much as it is relatable though. Books depicting obsession have been a sort of obsession for me, I’m fascinated by these helpless characters and the situations they end up in because of their intense feelings, and it was delicious losing myself in their plots.

I’ve been looking for these books because I wanted a mirror to my OCD that makes me think “oh.. so this is what my intensity of feelings looks like”, and now that I’ve found a bunch of them, I had to compile a list of every single one I’ve read.

I tried to add as many types of obsessions in these recommendations other than romantic obsession, even though that was the one that held my curiosity the most. This list will be updated as I go through more and more books in the future, but this piece starts with the first 8 books I read, and I’m doing them in the order I read them in.

The first 8 books I read so far

An Apprenticeship or thee Book of Pleasures by Clarice Lispeector

6*

On obsessive love

In this book we follow Clarice, a woman who is trying to bridge the gap between her loneliness and the passion she. harbors for Ulisses, who takes it upon himself to guide her through that path.

This book made me develop an alter ego. It made me kill my old self and create a sexier one out of it. I didn’t plunge into this genre willingly, the interest was sparked by the character portrayal in this book, I was so amused by it that I started seeking more books with similarities to this, from the way the book made me imagine Clarice, to the intense feelings and the way they’re depicted, to the progression of these feelings towards the end, all of this had me hooked and already thinking of what I want my next read to be like (and what I want my next outfit to look like).

My Husband by Maud Ventura

4*

On obsessive & controlling love

A tale of a wife too engulfed by her love for her husband to the point where she doesn’t have more to give to her own kids. The main character loves her husband, a little too much, the cup overflows a little bit and seeps through into her sanity. She keeps notes detailing her husband’s whereabouts, she has a separate notebook where she writes down his “hurtful actions” and the punishment she would give him for each. She’s not exactly the perfect wife otherwise either, with her own shortcomings and her own mishaps, but she still attributes them all to how much she loves him. This gets good when we read the Epilogue.

I was feeling for her the entire time, I didn’t know if I should feel seen or called out because almost the entire time my main thought was “I should probably not love someone ever, because this is how much I’ll love them, to the point where my OCD will push me off the edge”. This book was the first one I read where obsession is a main theme, and it has led me to the rest of the titles in this list.

Read this if you’re interested in these themes: flawed people, detrimental relationships, obsession, unhinged characters. Most importantly read this if you’re okay with books were no one is a good guy, no morals here just obsessive vibes.

New Animal by Ella Baxter

3*

On obsessive grief

Amelia is a cosmetician, at her family’s mortuary. Amelia loses her mom. Amelia goes into a haunting metaphorical journey and a quite literal one to escape that grief. But in her mind that is her way of grieving.

This may not have been a good choice for me to read but only because BDSM is not really an area for me to look into. The book otherwise had a depth that goes beyond it’s main plot. We see parent-children relationships being dissected in a way only all of us would relate to, especially the part where Amelia needs one parent when she’s away from them but she couldn’t stand whichever one she’s around, aren’t we all a little like that?

This book also discusses grief and goes in depth in how it engulfs you within it, so a trigger warning here if you can’t handle this because it does go deep about it. It also details the escapist ways people turn to to escape their grief.

This may not exactly deal with obsession, but I wanted to add it to the list anyway because of the familial attachment aspect and how that itself can be a form of anxious obsession laying dormant in most if not all of us

Acts of Desperation by Megan Nolan

6*

On obsessive love

Our main character is unnamed, perhaps on purpose. She falls into obsessive love with Cieran, the type of obsessive love where you lose yourself completely into the other person, unknowingly but willingly giving them a hold over you that you can’t escape by the time you notice it.

This is a narrative of the rejection that is breed within a person when the other is obsessed with them, and it is also a narrative of the obsession wee develop with someone when they reject us. It is a big mess of overflowing emotions and how nothing that intense is ever gratified. It encapsulates the disappointing reality of obsession.

My best recommendation on this entire list. I wish I started with it and I wish I ended with it, but it happened to be a little in the middle, fueling me to search for more books that will hopefully match up to the quality and realistic portrayal of obsession this one has. No other book has done it so far, except thee first book maybe.

I’ve seen some contradicting opinions about the ending though, and without any spoilers, I think it was rather realistic and was merely hated because of how it was out of character for those who relate to our unnamed character’s behavior through out the rest of the book.

Wilful Disregard by Lena Andersson

2*

On obsessive love

If I’m being honest, this one blended in with others in my mind and I had to go back and remember the plot.

Our main character, Ester, is a rational woman with a steady career and a steady relationship, or so she thought, until she experienced what the depths of love feel like after she wrote a piece on Hugo Rask.

Would you rather be in an all encapsulating obsessive love with all of its falls, or in a healthy boring relationship devoid of any feelings? This is my most memorable part about reading in this book and it wasn’t really the focus of it. But I think of this often and of whether or not a combination of both is ever attainable. For someone with OOCD or any personality disorder, they mess up the way we feel, display, or even. receive love. And so we wonder if there is ever a happy ending to our undying devotion and borderline unhealthy way of feeling love. It takes over us to the point where good feelings mesh with guilt and shame and a feeling of doom, that it will never be satisfied, and has it ever? Or have we simply gotten bored and moved on to the next obsession because without it, love doesn’t feel real, its not love if it doesn’t completely drown us?

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

5*

On predatory obsessions

In this book we follow Vanessa’s journey, alternating between the past and the present, slowly unraveling to us what happened to her when she was fifteen, her story is uncovered to us simultaneously as she slowly starts to realize the abuse and grooming that she has gone. through. We know it from the start but she doesn’t, she finishes the book along with us although her realization comes later than ours.

There is obsessive love, and then there is predatory obsession (for lack of a better term), and while the latter is in no way related to the types of obsession a normal person would have, but I think it is important to read this book.

Lolita has grown up and is experiencing the realization of what had really happened to her. And it is a tale all too familiar with too many women, even if we were to disregard any age restrictions from it. Too many women have experienced something, that no matter how obviously traumatizing it was, they were still never sure if it was really a bad experience or just a normal thing that happens to all women at some point. Until the day comes when they can’t deny it anymore.

Vanessa does not fit the checklist of what the perfect victim should be like in order to gain the support of the people and to be believed. Vanessa is human. That aspect of this narrative and specifically the flaws of Vanessa are the most important part of the book to me, and what makes it an. necessary read especially for those who don’t believe women. Those who scramble to find a flaw so they can finally find a reason to hate a woman, to unleash all their loathing and have a “reason” for it.

Cursed Bread by Sophie Mackintosh

3*

On obsessive fantasies

You will never guess what is the historic event that served as a launchpad to this novel. But the book has nothing to do with it really, it is just a spin on one possible storyline happening within that event.

Elodie is a baker’s wife who feels so unloved by her husband that when. she is introduced to a new couple, she develops an obsession with the both of them. Does she want to be with them? does she want to embody them? perhaps both. We follow her as she peers into their life, slowly seeping into their daily activities and the way with which their obsession with each other is displayed. She. has no clue how they portray her though, not even when she thinks she does.

I’m trying to have have opinions on this book but I cannot come up with a single one, it was simply an enjoyable read especially because of how peculiar its base story is.

I’m a Fan by Sheena Patel

4*

On an obsession with a parasocial relationship

I’m giving this 4 stars overall because of the themes discussed in this book, ranging from racism to classicism and much more. But I’d give the obsession part 2.5 stars if I’m being real.

The characters in this novel are unnamed, our main character is obsessed with “the man she wants to be with”, who in turn is obsessed with “the woman she’s obsessed with” despite being in a healthy relationship with “her boyfriend” who loves her dearly. She is pushed to the limit because of her obsession. She has a complete disregard to the people in her life and her life’s focus and purpose is to be with the man she wants to be with, as is thee case with most obsessive feelings.

Just like most obsessive feelings, we see glimpses of the unsatisfied craving all over the novel despite the main character being completely oblivious with them, another realistic portrayal of the futility of obsession. You are completely enamored with something or someone, but there’s no happiness when you finally get it. You might obsess over more and more and more. Or you might move on to another obsession that proves this feeling is only folded over itself and is never about the person or thing you direct it to. Or worse, you might get disappointed and plunged into the emptiness of the mundane. What did we think the happy ending of obsession would be anyway?

I inhaled these books all back to back so fast that the more mediocre ones of them became kind of a blur at this point and I had to go back and remind myself of what they were about, so I hope my reviews were not lacking because of this. But some of them were so good they still take a seat at the front of my mind and I compare every similar book to them.

I hope they spark your interest and I’d love to discuss them with you.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading ❤

[noloveforned]

no love for ned is all set for our friday night slot on wlur from 8pm until midnight. join us live if you get the chance or catch up with last week's show on mixcloud any time you'd like!

no love for ned on wlur – january 19th, 2024 from 8-10pm

artist // track // album // label allo, darlin' // kiss your lips // allo, darlin' // fortuna pop! soft covers // the ballad of ricki tarr // soft serve // little lunch special friend // bête // wait until the flames come rushing in // skep wax maria t // wind down // (bandcamp mp3) // (unreleased) marty brass // meet me outside // painted glass cassette // just because the yawns // i win // the yawns // records records records sleater-kinney // untidy creature // little rope // loma vista bar italia // glory hunter // the twits // matador mali obomsawin and magdalena abrego // believer // greatest hits // (self-released) acetone // come on // cindy // new west meernaa // as many birds flying // so far so good // keeled scales titanic // te evite // vidrio // unheard of hope elkhorn // guinnevere // lagniappe sessions // (self-released) evan parker // from saxophone and trombone four // from saxophone and trombone // otoroku alex cunningham, patrick shiroishi, jessica ackerley and damon smith // slick with slime // five lines indecipherable cassette // profane illuminations mary halvorson // incarnadine // cloudward // nonesuch sun ra arkestra // astro black // live in roma, 1980 // holidays o.c. // time's up // word...life // wild pitch blu and nottz featuring shad and quelle chris // marcus garvey // afrika // nature sounds ego ella may // take it easy (miles' song) // field notes, part iii ep // (self-released) b. cool-aid featuring ladybug mecca // chalk round it (talk abt it) // leather boulevard // lex j. raise, jr and alijaa featuring mick jenkins // don't sweat it // call for you // universal (italy) julia mcfarlane's reality guest // precious boy // whoopee // night school tenniscoats // i am you are me // chippi tyoppi // majikick linda smith // salad days // nothing else matters // captured tracks grade school // i wish i looked as good as you do // how to make wooden planes // kingfisher bluez the siddeleys // when i grow up i'll be a god // slum clearance // matinée

[mia-anonn]

All I did was try my best

This the kinda thanks I get?

Unrelentlessly upset (Ah-ah-ah)

They say these are the golden years

But I wish I could disappear

Ego crush is so severe

God, it's brutal out here

@layla-anon @drewanon @maxmayfield-anon @vi-anon @daniwood-anon @broghan-rplife @robinbuckley-anon @ella-anon @matthewanon @jennierubyjaneanon @lainey-anon @elhopperanon @emma-anon @poppy-anon @lydia-anon @vanessaanon @theolivestheory @jessie-anon @kirbyanon @lucas-anon @isabella-anonn @darla-anon @haruanon @may-anon @kittenanon @ethan-anon @ava-anon @alice-anonn @lillibelle-anon @daniel-anon @kie-anon @warren-anon @keatonanon @tilly-anon @lena-anonn @tara-anon @ethan-anonn @wendyanon @wes-anon @carrieanon @danny-anon @chad-anon @ambrose-anonn @stephanon @anikaanon @natalia-anon @rebecca-anon @jadenhossler-anon @lunablairanon @jamesanon & anyone