#Eggs~

[clonerightsagenda]

I was rambling on the issue of museums and human remains and how certain populations are more likely to have their bodies put on display to be gawked at and then went "well I guess the Pompeii casts were of Europeans. there are bones in there right?" and Googled it to make sure, at which point I confirmed that yes there are bones in there, but more interestingly DNA testing revealed that a cast of an adult holding a child everyone assumed was a mother and child were, in fact, a man and a kid entirely unrelated to him. Honestly that's more moving to me. Maybe they were connected in a way other than blood, but maybe a stranger saw a child when the world was ending and thought the one thing he could do was hold them.

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[imperatoralicia]

I get a lot of entertainment thinking about how containers are used in video games sometimes.

[mysterycitrus]

lbr he doesnt stand a chance against a real clownoisseur

[fuddlyduddly]

I love when trans people look back on their earlier art, its always so interesting

[lemongogo]

mimics

[cannibalhellhound]

@rabbit-factory getting more data because it really is an amazing question to ask

This conversation happened at 6am btw

Answer in the tags ↓

[polymoth]

The thing they don't tell you about fried egg runny yolk is that if you put it in a sandwich it will be the best most delicious thing and you can mop up the egg with the bread, but in exchange you Will get so so messy and covered in egg yolk

[a3poify]

Easter egg for office workers: if you go onto Excel and press ctrl+right, then ctrl+down, you will reach cell XFD1048576. If you put a dot in there, then ctrl+A and fill every cell in black, you can then print 34 million black pages from your office printer and get fired

[mmmm-burnt-eggs]

If this reaches 1 note, I will draw a frog.

If this reaches 10 notes, I will draw a bigger frog.

You can figure out the math from there

[supd00dle]

First I wanted to draw Maria’s new model but then—

ARK SIBLINGS AND EGG SIBLINGS

[fatbotsartblog]

He wasn't the only one on the ship... 🥚🥚🥚

[qrbits]

afternoon nap 🍰☕

[kedreeva]

There's some dude (derogatory) on FB who is PISSED people are pricing their farm fresh eggs at $2 and $3 a dozen instead of $4+, saying it's "disrespectful" and "undignified" and "I'm trying to feed my kids" like Sir, you are on a Facebook group page bitching about your neighbors egg prices because your pet chickens aren't earning you a living wage and you think it's your neighbors' fault, you do not have a leg to stand on here wrt dignity.

Also half the answers are like "I give them to friends and family free" or "I donate them to food banks" or "I'm making them affordable to folks who might not otherwise be able to get them now that they're so expensive in the store" and "if you think you're going to turn a profit keeping backyard chickens you have been wildly misled" and so on, and so forth, and I'm so living for it.

and I can tell you right now, he did NOT like my answer of "if you're trying to feed your kids, I hear eggs are edible."

[rs-hawk]

You get a pet tentacle as a "gag gift" for your birthday. You have no idea why your friends thought the little mass with a tentacle would make you laugh, but it didn't. Of course though, you don't want to be mean to it, so you take it home, trying to make it comfortable. You don't understand that by taking it home, now it thinks you've chosen it as your mate.

Once you're asleep, it expands, filling your bedroom with all of its tentacles. The first one to reach you has a plant like appendage, which spritzes you with an aphrodisiac that will also help you properly incubate its eggs. You groan, wiping the droplets from your face. There's already a hot pulsing between your legs. Without thinking much about it, still being half asleep, you kick off your blanket, eager fingers rolling your clit and stuffing into your hole.

Your tentacle pet stops to watch you, excitement building within it. Its mate is putting on a show for it! You must really want it! After a few moments, it can't stand it anymore. Two more tentacles reach for you, attaching to your nipples. That's when you start to realize what's going on, but you're so desperate now for release and to be stuffed you're almost crying.

Its suckers suck and pull on your nipples, making you moan and whimper. More tentacles wrap around your arms, pulling your hands away from your dripping hole. You let out a tiny whine of protest. The tentacles spread your cunt wide, looking at you clench around nothing, your wetness soaking your bed. Its breeding tentacles pulsing already.

You start to whine and beg for it to fuck you, wiggling your hips as more tentacles restrain you, making sure you're secure. Finally, one starts sucking on your clit, making you cum almost instantly. Despite your finish, your cunt is still eager to be stuffed and filled.

"Please, please," you beg it, lifting your hips up slightly.

Your pet is more than happy to comply, stuffing a thick tentacle into your eager hole. A moan escapes from your lips, your eyes half lidded from pleasure. It thrusts in and out of you, slowly depositing eggs directly into your womb. It doesn't even matter to you as you feel the weight in your body. You just need the tentacles to keep pleasuring and fucking you.