#Eating the papertowel

[lavendershowcase]

the official mascot of this blog is my genderqueer leopard gecko, Viola

She is the best boy around but he doesn't have these nice plants in his tank anymore bc he ate a plastic leaf bigger than him

[beegswaz]

cast party was 😭😭

[markwickens]

Atlanta Dining Kitchen

[ronearoundblindly]

ooo how would ce characters react if you started decorating for autumn in august? 🤭

Ya know, right off the bat, I can't think of anyone who's downright against it, but some of them would help and some would just leave you to it. One--take a wild guess--would throw an incredible bitch-fit if he tripped over one gd thing in his way, but otherwise...

Um, there's some language but nothing adult-specific.

Most Into Autumn Decor--Curtis Everett

Okay, there's a reason I worded it that way, but I was a bit surprised, too. I would not be able to tell you if this somehow wasn't influenced by @sweater-daddiesdumbdork's "Life Is Short So Make It Sweet" series, but I truly believe Curtis would be equally into decorating for fall/autumn with you. He'd be the most active in finding decor, too, whether he's shopping with you there or just finding stuff randomly. He'd take the time to plan out and execute a whole thing in the house, and he would get the most joy out of sitting in the warm glow.

Honorable Mentions to James Mace, Johnny Storm, and Ransom Drysdale.

Mace will get into it but not as much as Curtis and for a shorter period of time. You best believe Johnny digs the campfire-and-s'mores vibes but is wary of shit hanging from the ceiling or dry stuff piled on the floor. Ransom is obviously into dressing for the season but also likes to find the most expensive version of all decor, so those beautiful, blown-glass pumpkins are a staple. Ran is perfectly fine if you want to repaint the damn walls every couple months to match the mood; he's fine with it, but he doesn't expend much effort.

Most Indifferent--Jimmy Dobyne

He doesn't hate the season by any means. He's fine with the colors. He likes when you're happy, so if the house needs to be packed with pumpkins and fairylights and shit, okay. Don't expect him to really participate in it, and don't bring rotting leaves into the house. Real pumpkins are for eating or outside.

The other reason he doesn't really care is that Jimmy spends most days outdoors for work and whatnot. He sorta just...sees autumn the whole time it's autumn, and that is enough for him.

*Most Into Halloween Decor--Jake Jensen

If you were wondering why I didn't mention Jake earlier it's because he is miles above Curtis's enthusiasm for one specific thing: spooky shit.

Jake isn't afraid to go all-out. He will make the entire house, the yard, the gd neighborhood if they let him, into a haunted experience. This is, unfortunately, to the point where you have slipped on fake blood before and bruised your tailbone. Jake is now limited to the week of Halloween itself for the more dangerous accoutrements like liquids and sharp blades. Knives and weapons stay in shadowboxes or cabinets otherwise.

No, he will not be taking questions about why they aren't the fake, safe kinds. Just let him have this.

**I don't have a name for the superlative that Lloyd Hansen wins but he is the most obsessed with curating *his look* seasonally.

Yes, I even mean more so than our sweater boi Ransom...

Lloyd is also the man who flips the fuck out if a room or the yard is littered with stuff to decorate. If it's a mess (even for a little while) he thinks it all looks trashy and can't stand that, so you gotta be kinda stealth or methodical about doing it.

Most Into DIY Decor--Ari Levinson

Project? Did someone say project???? Ari's there, tools ready, let's go.

Ari's the man who has a shed or garage full of stuff for all occasions. Sure, there are a lot of power tools and mechanic things, but he's also kept track of all the art supplies, cleaned up that hot-glue gun and twist-tied the cord nicely, and sorted everything into bins or some of the drawers in his shelves. Nails and screws for all sorts. Wall anchors if necessary. He keeps a stash of those papertowel rolls for kids projects. Tissue paper and bags for gift wrapping. He doesn't go so far as to color-code it or anything, but it's grouped together and neatly stowed away. He is always willing to participate in building something new, even if it's silly little paper things.

Most Into Autumn Activities--Steve Rogers

I don't think Steve has any issue with early sprucing for the season, but he is definitely planning where the apple-picking and pumpkin patches are and when to go. There may be fourteen different hay rides and corn mazes to get through, but don't worry, he's got a schedule! He's rewashed the thermoses for hot cocoa at the ready. He bought another stack of pie tins just in case. He printed off several new recipes to try this year, and the ones from last year have hand-written notes in the margins of what to adjust this time. So, yup, hang onto your butts because it's gonna get real busy in a few weeks...

Thank you for asking!

Damnit, these are so amazingly fun. Keep 'em coming!!

[Main Masterlist; Who Would...Asks; Ko-Fi]

[mengy007]

For my therian friends out there who miss hunting!

Here’s a realistic prey tutorial:

-Get some strawberries, if you don’t like strawberries, Raspberries will work too, I just prefer Strawberries because raspberries are too soft and I like to munch.

-slice the strawberry into halves or fourths depending on the size of prey you want

-make sure to dry the fruit, make sure no excess water is dripping off!

-get a papertowel (I’d say one per two prey) and tear it in half hamburger style, then wrap the fruit in the paper towel burrito style (make sure it’s more on one side!) and twist the long back so it looks like the tail of a mouse, twist the front so the fruit doesn’t come out!

-hide these around your house (don’t forget about em! Don’t want ants! If you tend to forget things write down how many there are supposed to be and don’t hide them in very complex or dirty spots!)

-you can hunt them any way you’d like but here are multiple ways:

1. Try to find them from the very first one you placed down to the very last one you place down, see if you can remember.

2. Since we (sadly) don’t have as good smell as an animal, tie a long string or thread to a mouse and wind it around a bit anywhere really, then cut the string off at a random point, this way when you re-find the string it’ll be like catching and tracking the scent! (Works for me, not sure if it works for anyone else, also bonus points if the string is scented with perfume or smth :D)

3. Use them to practice pouncing, it can help you be more accurate and you get a tasty snacc :D

-how to eat:

1. Just use your mouth or claws to tear open the papertowel and make sure to spit it aside, then just eat the fruit inside, easy :D

-Happy hunting! Hope this helps! ^w^

(Pls comment or reblog if you tried this out!)

[brattylikestoeat]

Whore for toilet paper? Lmao

Do you live in your own household? And I’m being serious.

The average pack of papertowel is $5 and the average pack of toilet paper is $8.

I live by myself so a 4 pack of toilet paper will last me about two weeks. Papertowels last about a month.

Let’s add in more household expenses. Cleaning supplies including laundry detergent is $50 and that last maybe two weeks. Remember I live by myself, if this household had more people it would be a weekly expense.

So far we up to $65 for cleaning supplies and paper supplies.

I spend $100 on groceries a week, breakfast lunch and dinner. If I do eat it, the hoes paying.

Gas is $40 a week (a other expense I don’t pay thanks to my hoes).

But let’s be real, you don’t care either cuz you living at home and someone else pay or because you broke and living off the government or a partner.

We all do variations of whoring. You sell your time and body to jobs to get a paycheck. You sell your vote to the government that endorse programs that make it so you can eat. Or you like me and a whore who has men paying for things.

So not my fault you not cute enough to get it the easy way.

[malaierba]

I really like the idea that Karamatsu fits in with any group of people that stands out on purpose, like the punk gang he befriends in the third season, or some of the big personalities that you can find in a theater club.

It made me think back to some of my most eccentric friends and how shocked I was to learn that some of our mutual acquaintances found them tiring, whether it was due to their incessant selfie-taking, need to be the clown, odd fashion, etc

Admittedly I didn't always have the spoons to deal with them, I think the one I struggled with the most was a Team Leader at my last job that seemed to have watched too many Vinh Giang videos and he'd take soooo long sometimes to make an argument 😵

He was a kind guy though, and the only one in the company who seemed to understand "human resources management" and "if this bitch is at capacity we need to do something about her workload rather than pilling it up", and it kind of fascinated me anyway so I'd be patient with him when I could afford it.

Anyways, I guess I was thinking back to when I tried to model, lots of big personalities in the room all the time. It was so fun though. Like NGL I don't really have the natural drive to try to fight for attention let alone the spotlight, I'm more the type "I'll earn it if I can objectively tell that my opinion needs to be heard or if no one else will do a good job managing this group", but if the people are kind at their core then the energy is really energising. There's something that will always fascinate me about people who aren't afraid of embarrassment, who'll do what they want to do without letting self-consciousness hold them back.

All of this to say that Karamatsu would probably fit right in in such a group, and I hope he maintained the contact with the punk guys. I kind of want to write a fic about what happened between 18!Osomatsu-san and Osomatsu-san, because the high school graduate we see is GLARINGLY NOT THE KARAMATSU WE KNOW.

It's made obvious to us that he likes showy people and people who can at least speak with confidence (as seen by the way he ogles his adult self lol), but he's also obviously not quite there. I suppose you could argue that at the time he was troubled by his family situation, although Choromatsu's memory of highschool (admittedly an unreliable narrator) paints him as having the backbone of a wet papertowel.

Whatever made Karamatsu become so Karamatsu-esque happened after graduation, and this switch in personality may have collided with Ichimatsu's own withdrawal, and made their dynamic go from:

"very close during middle school > we still see them have lunch together in high school > except at the end it seems Karamatsu was eating alone, Ichi probably choosing to hang out with friends instead > ichimatsu as an adult can't stand Karamatsu's behaviour (although he's still a Karamatsu Boy fsr? He's so funny. I guess he still likes his personality beneath all the glitter)"

I'm rambling lol. After watching the movie I gotta be fr, Ichi, Kara and Jyushi's change in personality seldom leaves my mind. So many dynamics changed? I think a lot about Totty too, although I can see his evolution more clearly, likely because it was more about "pulling away and trying to build an independent identity" and I HC that it coincided with Choromatsu trying (and failing) at college, not only giving Totty the chance but straight up forcing him to do stuff on his own.

AHH I really want to write a fic about all of this but there's so much planning that I need to do. Karamatsu and Jyushimatsu stump me bro, what happened to them? What was the trigger? Why did it come AFTER highschool?

Even Ichimatsu is more reasonable to me, much like Totty. I think he suffered hardcore social masking burnout, I think he maybe tried to follow Choromatsu's intention to join proper society, but he didn't get that far. Awareness hit him in the beginning stages and with it followed an inability to force himself to do something that was so obviously not himself, unable to continue to force himself to fit a societal race for which he's just not built. And I see why, following that, he'd start getting support and comfort from Osomatsu, who's just too honest to pretend that anyone actually wants to become a wage slave, and of course he'd prefer to help by staying besides Ichimatsu rather than by nagging him to stop being a NEET (cough Choro).

Man this was a ramble lol. And I still have no clue about Jyushi and it drives me crazy LOL, maybe Osomatsu played a part too? He'd call him out on it, I just wish we'd understand what it was that triggered the delinquent act in the first place.

Anyways. Can you believe this started as a musing along the lines of "Karamatsu is not the problem actually he just needs to find his scene" lol

[rainbowgothdisaster]

if for whatever reason you think im not that weird, one time in high school i was hanging out in the commons with friends when i got hungry and pulled a slice of pizza out of my hoodie pocket and started eating it mid conversation.

no ziplock. no papertowel. just pizza raw dogging my pocket.

another time i brought a two gallon ziplock to school with 3 different fast food fries and 2 sonic burgers just in it no wrapper and just started eating in the middle of class.

and i was only high one of these times.

[gamenu]

          Nibbles her arm. Nibbles her arm. Fyuga looks so drowsy... she's been nibbling at Nicole's arm for a while now.

          No worries about those teefs of her's, though, she seems to mostly be softly mouthing her arm. But it's obvious that she's hungry... perhaps a snacc is in order!!!

                                                     -- @paraleech

         "Fyuga...if yer hungry, ya need ta use yer words." Nicole knows the little alien's habits by now. And she had every intention of feeding her and not letting her go hungry.

          However, if they were going to get any better and have Fyuga interact with others like she wants to, they have to keep working at it. She's been improving after all. Still, she is a child and forgetful and can easily slip back into habits that are comfortable.

          Carefully lifting Fyuga up underneath her arms, Nicole holds her and looks up at her little face. She looks...almost sleepy. So it's time for a snack and a nap apparently. Standing up and shifting her hold so Fyuga was held more like a typical toddler, Nicole walked to the kitchen with her.

          She's gotten in the habbit of having little sandwiches prepared for her. So she simply grabs one of those, and then carries Fyuga and the sandwich to her room. Sitting Fyuga at her own little table, she puts the sandwich on a papertowel in front of her and then stands back up.

         "Go ahead an' eat yer sandwich, then youse can take a nap, yeah? Ya look like yer abou' ta fall over a' any second."

[sustenance-soon]

january 7, 2023 — lunch

sandwich (sourdough, mayo, mustard, honey ham, lettuce, tomato) + cheese stick + fries from the store

—

sigh the store people didn’t not put salt on my fries so that was a little nervewracking to discover but otherwise INCREDIBLY delicious lunch i forgot how much i love SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!! i love sandwich SO MUCH. hehe i was so impatient i started eating before my fries were reheated properly.

that lettuce tho …. if u do that soaking in vinegar and water trick and then store in layers of papertowel … produce WILL last literally fucking forever wtf … well at least SEVERAL WEEKS which is kind of insane to me.

[atlafan]

YES FOR SURE! I love that Beverly and her sisters are basically trained assassins, I was not expecting that at ALL but I love it for them we love bad ass women and with Harry’s mom?! You did a really good job of tying history in with their pasts since it was such a monumental part in time for people, I can’t but also can picture Beverly using a sniper 😭💀

okay I'm glad you liked it because that time period was fucking insane. And like I already knew that obviously, and I took AP US History and AP US Government back in the day, and I've also just done my own research about all those decades because it's like were people sucking and fucking in the 40's and 50's???? And the answer was basically no! Then the mid to late 60's happened and people went nuts, and that carried well over into the 70's and 80's. Not to mention all the counter culture. And with Vietnam being the first televised war, people were starting to wise up! But it was also like the hippies weren't helping by spitting on veterans when they came home, you know? It was like these people were drafted and had no choice to go to Vietnam, same for the other wars. Like it's such a complicated system!!

And then tying in European history with like my own heritage I thought was important. Like you can't just ignore what happened at those camps. And like I remember when I watched Transparent, it really stuck with me when they'd show flash backs of the the late 60s/early 70s of parents forcing their kid to eat and being mad that they wouldn't and the kid snapped and was like, "WE'RE NOT IN THE HOLOCAUST", and like these people had so much untreated trauma!! Like how after the depression people still hoarded papertowels and other good well into their old ages because they were afraid of being dirt poor again. Like women in the camps stopped getting their periods, and they were lucky if they survived at all. Entire families were wiped out. And then none of them talked about it when they the survivors got their lives back. They found new homes and carried on. My step-grandmother's parents survived and they were just were never the same, and it's ultimately what killed them later in life.

ANYWAYS I think when writing any period piece it's important to tie these things in so we're not romanticizing or glorifying some of the worst periods of human history. You have civil rights movements happening all over the country, Kennedy being shot, and the rise of Harvey Milk. I think that's why I don't typically write pieces where the settings are recent history because it's like how can I not mention these things? I'd love to write a 70s/80's AU, but like I know myself and I'd need to tie in the AIDS epidemic because how can I just ignore that????

[itsdetachable]

I still dream of having a snake again, now that I am most of an adult and actually know what good snakekeeping is

I got a Garter Snake for my thirteenth (i think) birthday and my dad was really into keeping it (apparently my dad had a hot snake in the early/mid 70's that he devoted a room to, and he claimed when he sold it to a zoo it was enough to buy a Camaro. Unsure of just how much of that is real facts but there are ppl who can confirm he had a snake of that kind...anyways, my snake)

My snake looked like a younger Butlers Garter snake

Thery were about a foot and a half long, super cute, and we kept them in a ten gallon tank with papertowels on the bottom, a single hide and a water bowl. The books I looked up and the few websites I found said nothing about giving them any heat so none of that. My dad and I would go out and gather earthworms for the snake to eat, and a couple times we got feeder fish (rosy minnows, not goldfish) that he fished for in his water bowl.

I would take him out and he'd curl around my neck while I did things. Once I took him down to my brother's apartment to play games on one of their computers and the snake slid down my arm just far enough to pee on the desk, then climbed back up my arm. Hilarious -_-

He escaped, of course he did, and while my brother caught him once, the second time he escaped out into the stairwell and we just... never saw him again. I kept looking for him but i don't like thinking too much about where he could have ended up.

As can be seen, none of us were good snake keepers. We were doing the basics, but made bad decisions, though they were honestly made based on bad info.

Now I now only know roughly what's needed, I know where to find it and I would be able to afford the things needed.

Alas, I do NOT have the space for snake tank. I know you start small with baby snakes but eventually they'll need more room, and you'll need to beg for freezer space to store your f/t mice. It's a thing.

Anyways, not going to happen anytime soon. But someday...

[dailybehbeh]

Behbeh

[mudkip-the-geck]

Poor Mudkip regurgitated some moss!:( gonna have our first vet visit to check for parasites, the poor baby. AND he's going into shed. 😢

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

One Night🌙4

Warnings: noncon sexual acts (to be warned later in series)

This is dark!Andy Barber and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: One night changes your entire life.

for @kittykatlow​‘s 200 Follower Celebration

Note: Well, at long last you get another chapter of Andy Barber and I’m just as impatient all y’all!

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

Masterlist

Andy's perfect suburban neighbourhood was enough to make you feel out of place. His house only added to that boiling insecurity as he pulled into the wide driveway. He kept his calm but taunting silence up as classic rock continued to blare from the radio, interrupted by jarring jingles and ridiculous radio jockey banter.

As he killed the engine, the sudden silence hit you like a wall. You opened the car door but found it hard to go much further. The door shut and you planted your hand against it. 

Andy startled you as he came up beside you, your suitcase rolling behind him as your large tote was slung over his shoulder. You made to grab the bag and he waved you away.

"Come on," He nodded to the house, "You said you were tired. I'll get you settled and you can rest."

You frowned but said nothing. You walked ahead of him around the front of his car and up the mosaic path that led to his front door. He fished around in his pocket and brushed against you as he reached to unlock the front door. He pushed it open and waited for you to enter.

The place looked straight out of a catalogue. White furniture!? Who in their right mind lived like this. It would be like living in a museum. You inched inside and stopped short in front of Andy as a photo of his wife and kid met you on the small side table just beside the couch. He barely kept from colliding with you.

He dropped your bag against the wall and let your suitcase go. He reached around you and took the picture. He cleared his throat and stepped away. You watched him through the wide archway that opened up on the other side of the staircase. You could barely see him as he went to the kitchen and shoved the frame in a drawer.

He returned, his eyes avoiding you and gathered up your bags. He edged past you, stopping at the bottom of the stairs to look back at you.

"Well, you coming?" He asked and started up the staircase.

You followed a few feet back as his footfalls echoed around you. He led you down the hallway and pulled closed a door as he passed. You glanced the posters on the wall and a seemingly interrupted scene still set up within. The snap of the clasp kept you going.

He turned back at the next doorway and sighed. He shrugged and nodded to it.

"I'm just across the hall," He said. "And you'll have... space."

His tone was sour and you didn't miss the tic in his jaw. He waited until you stepped ahead of him and opened the door yourself. He pushed your suitcase just inside and set your bag on the bed. A floral quilt was pulled across the top as similar flowers hung in oval frame along the wall.

"Never really had many guests," He said as he pushed back his jacket and gripped his hips. "Don't even know if anyone but me ever slept in here. You know, had a beer too many and... well, you take a nap and we'll talk when you get up."

"I can find somewhere else," You said.

"You won't," He insisted. "Not now. Talk later." He went to the door and grabbed the handle, pausing before he could pull it shut behind him. "I've got some work to finish up. I'll be in my office. Downstairs, just off the front room. Just by the Sox banner."

"Sure," You turned away in resignation. "I guess I'll find you."

A long exale came from him just before he slowly pulled the door closed. You listened for the click then hung your head. How did this man expect to start a new family when his old one still lived here? It didn't matter how many pictures he hid, he couldn't just push them out.

🌙

Once you laid down, it wasn't hard to fall asleep. The days had piled atop your eyelids and dragged you down into a heavy doze. You awoke on your side, your arm trapped beneath you and tingling. You groaned and sat up, your head ached with each move.

You yawned and looked out the window. It was dark. You rubbed your eyes and did your best to rouse yourself. The house was silent. You inched the door open and listened. You crept out and headed down the hall to the stairs. Again, you listened and heard nothing.

You descended and went to the kitchen. You found a tall glass from the cupboard and filled it from the tap. As you turned around, the rim just before your lips, you jumped at the shadow that appeared in the archway. 

Andy flicked the light on. He leaned on the wooden frame and crossed his arms. His button up was rolled up past his elbows and his hair was mussed as if he'd been running his fingers through it over and over. You choked on the water and steadied yourself.

"Hey," You coughed. "What's, uh, I was just... thirsty."

"It's fine. By all means," He uncrossed his arms and stood straight. 

He neared the end of the island that stood parallel to the sink. You set your glass down on it nervously. 

"I... just woke up. I thought maybe you were already... sleeping." You said. You were hoping, actually.

"No, not yet. You hungry?" He asked.

"Not really," You replied. "Thanks."

"You should eat. What did you have today?"

"I... um," You tried to think. You'd had half a club sandwich at the diner. "I had a sandwich and um, a cookie on the way home."

"That's hardly enough for two," He neared the corner of the island. "I'm not a bad cook. I could make you something. Or order something?"

"Really, it's fine--"

"It's not--" He raised his hand to calm himself. "It's not fine. You're carrying my child. You starve myself, you starve them. So... eat." He turned and opened the fridge. "I've got some hummus and veggies you can munch on and uh, thin crust pizza I can toss in."

He turned and set down a tupperware of celery, carrots, and cauliflower along with a container of hummus. He closed the fridge and opened the freezer with a puff of cool air. He took out a thin crust cheese and spinach pizza.

He went to the stove and held down the temperature button. He turned back and opened the box as he waited for the over to preheat. He took out the pizza and peeled away the plastic. He left it on the counter and came closer again. He pulled the lid off the tupperware and the smaller container.

"Eat," He said. "Is everything gonna be this difficult?"

You scowled and grabbed a carrot stick. You scooped up a glob of hummus and bit into with zeal, all the while staring him down. You smiled at him with mouth full and chewed.

"So, can we talk or are you going to continue to act like a child?" He asked.

"I don't know, are you going to keep acting like my dad," You huffed.

He blinked and shook his head.

"I'm open to compromise but if you're gonna be like this, I won't be so understanding," He hissed. "So sit," He pushed a tall stool towards you. "And eat."

"Yes, father," You climbed up on the stool and grabbed some celery.

"I always thought it was 'daddy'," He raised his brow. You scoffed at his bad joke.

The oven dinged and he shoved the pizza inside. He set the time and stood across the island from you. He put one hand on his hip as his other gripped the edge of the marble.

"Tomorrow, you make an appointment." He said.

"Sure," You picked out a piece of cauliflower. 

"And you can't keep working two jobs. You gotta drop one." He stated. "It's not good for you or the baby."

"You can't just make me give up my livelihood." You argued.

"Livelihood? How much do you think you make in a year? Probably no where close to twenty grand. I make at least five times. We can afford for you not to kill yourself--"

"'We'?!" You exclaimed. "Andy, there is no we."

He slapped the countertop suddenly and swore.

"Fuck's sake. You know for someone so damn helpless you sure do hate help!" He snarled. "It's like you want... you want this to go wrong. Everything has to go wrong so you can keep being the innocent little victim of your own life."

You recoiled and swallowed your mouthful. You threw the carrot stick in your hand at him. He batted it away easily.

"You don't fucking know me," You spat. "So don't you judge me."

"I know you fucked me in the toilet after about twenty minutes," He snickered.

You took the hummus and wipped it at him too. It splattered across his front and the container bounced across the counter.

"After three drinks, on top of several before," You snapped. "I don't have to explain myself to you." You got off the stool. "I don't want your fucking pity or whatever you're doing. I'm not going to be your little project."

You swept around the island but he caught your arm and pulled you back. The garlic from the hummus filled your nostrils and woke your hormonal hunger.

"Where are you going to go? You think I want you sleeping with my baby on the street?" He squeezed, hard. "And whatever you want to call it, my pity is better than the alternative."

"Let go," You wriggled in his grasp.

"You really wanna be a little bitch over a cafe gig?" He lowered his voice. "You walk out, I'll find you. I will not stop," He sneered. "You got it?"

"You're hurting me," You gritted through your teeth.

"Tomorrow you tender your resignation," He growled as his other hand came up to frame your chin. "Right?"

"Stop--"

"To-mor-row," He said decisively.

"Tomorrow," You uttered softly. "Okay?"

He smiled and nodded, slowly releasing you. He pulled loose his tie and slipped it over his head and unbuttoned his short. He slid it back down his shoulders and bared his chest. He approached the broad archway as he shed the shirt entirely. He stopped and turned to glance over his shoulder.

"I gotta clean myself up," He said. "I expect you to clean up the rest."

He left you and you squinted at the doorway. What an asshole. You took several deep breaths then took several sheets of papertowel from above the sink. You wiped the hummus from the counter and the floor and tossed the towel. You picked up the errant carrot stick as well and the oven beeped.

Everything about this kitchen was idyllic. It was the perfect suburban haven. The oven mitts, printed with an image of cheese and grapes, hung from the cupboard just beside the stacked ovens. You took them and pulled out the rack. You eased the pizza onto a plate and set it on the counter. You snapped the oven shut and turned it off after a brief struggle with the buttons.

Andy reappeared as you turned back, he wore a grey tee a some plaid pajama pants. Even in the bar, having done what you'd done, you'd never seen him without his suit. He was always the staunch lawyer man, even with a belly full of whiskey. Now he just looked like some guy.

"Two bulletpoints down," He said as he went to the drawer and searched for the pizza cutter. "I'd like to sort this out tonight. I have a long day tomorrow."

"Fine," You took the cutter from him and sliced the pizza into triangles. "What else can I do to appease you, your majesty?"

"For one, you will not be working beyond six months," He stated. "Can't risk it. Especially with those heavy trays."

"Six months? You know, they would accomodate me--"

"I'm a lawyer. You know how many workplaces are dragged into court for not accomodating employees?" He interjected.

"I'm a lawyer," You mimicked. "I get it. Six months."

"House rules," He raised his index, "Home before nine when you're not closing, but I'd prefer it if you stuck to day shifts," He instructed, "I'm pretty good about housework." He went tot he fridge and took down a notepad that had been pre-printed with a roster of chores. "We can switch off with dishes. I do laundry on Sundays but I take my dry-cleaning in on Friday. Sweeping and mopping, about once a week. I can take care of that if you can do a bit of dusting and tidying in the living room."

You stared at him. Was everything about his life so ordained? Well, surely not fucking a stranger ins a bar.

"I think I can clean up after myself," You sniffed. "Curfew, cleaning, good, got it."

"Right," He said gruffly, "And in regards to your care, you will inform me of all your appointments and medical concerns."

"Okay."

"And, I don't mind if you have friends over but let me know ahead of time," He continued. "No guys."

"What?" You chuckled dryly. "What are they gonna do? Knock me up again?"

"No guys," He snarled. "I mean it." You stared at him. You shook your head and he shoved the plate at you. "Eat."

You took a piece, the cheese stringy as it clung to the next. You bit into it and swallowed before you found your voice.

"Andy, this isn't-- we fucked in a bathroom," You muttered. "You can't think--"

"My house, my rules," He warned. "Now, you have your own room and freedom to anything inside this house. That's it. Fair trade. This isn't a negotiation."

"Fucking lawyer," You rolled your eyes. "You know, we get you in the diner all the time. You complain about the fucking food yet you're barely paying pocket change for a damn omelet then you don't even leave a tip. Write something on the receipt like 'resilience is more valuable than any bill'."

He laughed and ran his tongue along his bottom lip.

"Well, with an attitude like that, I can't imagine you ever getting stiffed..." He said. "...on a tip."

"Alright, I play by your stupid rules until this damn thing is out of me," You sneered. "That's it."

"Good girl," He smiled. "Now have a few more slices and you're free for the night."

[aphrorite]

-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #8 !! 🥞💫🧸

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘

⋆ ✧₊ june 14th 2022 🎻🍞🐻 ⊹ɞ

hewwo diary :3 today im din hav too ba day, or may bee im jus block out da bad parts >_< im slight vent buuuuut also a feel teensy 🤏 bit bwetter. <3

tw vent // vent regression

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so where do im start diary? 😮😮 oh ya ! :3 2day im woke up likeee 10 mins before my bus came so im din hav much time 2 get ready BUT BUT BUT ,,, im did wear deordoorrant which is gud ! cos usually when i wakes up lil lwates dese days , im forget deodorant n it make me very embarrassed bcos im stress sweat easily … n dont wanna bother peoples w bad smellys ))): so am proud dat im din forget this time!!! ^ω^ am wore a maroon varsity jacket dat matches my school colours <3 denim jean shorts n a white tubbie top along w my signature pearl necklace :33 im was feeling very pretty today 🙈😊

sooo todays im got on bus in time 🚌 ^o^ im din get time eat breakfast doe so im was hungry ))))): gurgurugyrle. maths class was really borinf n i din really understand it >_< n den art class was vry rypical but im had funny moment where im went to refill the paper towel n just as i refill it there dis guy who looked down at the papertowel like :0 then at me like :0 and we had a good laugh <3 (:

im kinda sad doe because recently my friend has been acting weird :I she wa skinda passive aggressive to me when i explained to her tht i was hanging out w my close friend for stranger tings s4 n was like “i understand u wanted to hangout w him but likeee im here you know” which mad eme feel kinda sad and obliged when i dont owe her any of my time as a friend . bcos if we were gonna aply this logic to her than id passively aggressive remark her everytime she hang out w her friends. and she has lots. but i dont. im dont even b mad or express it. ya it kinda lonely and a lil sad bc i wish i had lot friend like her doe honestly she just kinda poopy friend rn ): n even when she hangout w other friend i understand cos everyone have ofher fg and she do too and she not obliged to hangout w me but when she do its like im not even dere. u inv me and rhen trweat me badly. is meanie. and den after that day i tried hanging out w her or a few day later n then she really left me out n i just walk behind everyone and felt so alone and she din even say goodbye to me when i walked into my class so i felt so alone and left out and unwanted ): i wanted 2 cry ))): after dat day things habent felt the same and seein what she posts on her story makes me feel like it a slap in the face becos she always talking abt how she so stressed abt schoolwork but i see her hanging out w her friends every single day and den she complains abt it, n then complains abt people msging her n doesnt reply and it makes her sound rlly ungrateful ): ik she jusy very stressed bur if she is then she should let people know to take it easy on her but she dont n it really… urhhggg it make me ): angy. sad. bothered. annoyed. and its ok to feel day way cos its emorions and i am allowed to. *sigh* im jusy wish dings were diff cos i thought she were my rock doe for now i just distance :I

im gor driveb work n it was :IIIII,,, OH OMGGGG im went into winners and i found dese rlly cute stuffies n a playmat!! a lady looked ar me weird but im kiddo so is ok if i look at toys n placemats ):< even if i not kiddomo it still ok hmph )):<< but YA they were so cute uhggg im wants buy them so bad it was $40 OG but was going for $30 so only 10% off T^T hmph. dey were feel like pillows doe when i touch the playmat so now i reallllyyy want a playmat or a pink rug :0 for my room !!!!

so den i ate lunch n it was yummy 😋:3 but when i try deunk me water it had soap in it becaos im not priplery clean waterborfl yesterday!!!!! ): but fortunatel y im make myself custom order at starbuck n manage to get a deal ! im wanted fhe deagonfruit lemonade refresher but for a grande 470 ml it was 5.85, so im did custom lemonade w 2 pump raspberry, scoop of strawberry, dragonfruit infusiob and light ice in a venti 780 ml and got that for 5.35 so i got a deal for the same taste :DD 😋😁 i happy it mobile ordee roo soo im not have to spend time trying to tell ordwer cos im get anxious sometime ))): esp w starbuck. i am ok w ordering boba sometime bcos im know what i want but starbuck mot so mych ))):

work kinda made me sad ): im was on stock and the only ding i get as a gift for working at it for 4 ish month is a 75$ gift card dat would b like… abt 1-2 paycheck (basically one biweekly for a month) but i did internship for free for 4 month. ): i just wish i learnee more or had a more enjoyable experience because honestly my boss is very toxic and she completely didnt even inv me to the employee photo for an outfit op which make me feel excluded and alone, hearing them all pose and laugh outside on the sales floor while i worked on stock alone in the back ):

my rl mom told me that alone i stand out feom the crowd as a star and dont need people like them who seek external validation which sort of made me feel better but i just wish id feel not so alone even when in crowds ): im always feel like an alien or an outsider )):

im got home, pet my furbaby, n then fell asleepy when im not supposed to ): so i feel bad abt taking nap. im sleep for 3 hr wake up n is 8:30 . im did homework which was personal finance n was kinda hard so i couldnt get alot done :I my rl mom gav me food doe before bed n brought it up which was nice bc i was only thinkin of homeworks n not of dindin. so im ate bacon egg and some 🍜 😊😋 yum yum.

am was hesitant but im called my clwose friend cos recently him n i gots in situation dat really made me sad ): we had a heart-to-heart conversation dwoe and now have a better understanding and i am so relieved dat i checked on him bc i miss his voice n his lil laughs n stutters ))’: and he missed me too which made my heart warm ( ^ω^ ) am glad that im din cry too cos if i did then itd b difficults to speak but im was super super strong today !!! im still strong when im cry but today???? nah im was strong strong ! hehe

so ya im talk w him for like hour n den now i in bed. im gon fill out habit tracker, manifestation n shut my eye, dat p much da update diary. i am very very sad indivudal and im trying to get theough it befor i relapse relapse n dings go sour. i am jusr hoping that my stress will b taken away soon and dat i can finally have my wants and needs come to fruition. i love u diary. muwah muwah.

and im also want dino hoodie but cant find any one i likes :S hmmmph ):< but am will find one one day ! <3

╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈➤ sweetheart xx