#Early modern advice book

[jamesgraybooksellerworld]

Some serious considerations on marriage. Wherein (by way of caution and advice to a friend) its nature, ends, events, concomitant accidents, &c. are examined. Conjugium Conjurgium

Seymar, William. (William Seymar is a pseudonymous anagram for William Ramsey.) Cf. Halkett and Laing Conjugium conjurgium: or, some serious considerations on marriage. Wherein (by way of caution and advice to a friend) its nature, ends, events, concomitant accidents, &c. are examined. By William Seymar Esquire. London: printed for John Amery at the Peacock over against St. Dunstan’s Church in…

[machinebeast]

we've all been there

[malkaleh]

One of the things that I have really worked on in writing the OT3 verse (honestly my success probably varies!) is okay no they absolutely do not have modern therapeutic or trauma concepts/terminology but also people in the past did have ideas of trauma and :hands because I’m not sure of the wording here: methods/ideas about coping.

(And listen some of those ideas did include things like ‘alcohol/violence etc’ but it I think one thing I have thought about is just like today there was a whole range. But they would not he using modern terms/framework about it)

[the-peak-tmnt]

Hey The Neon Void readers, quick update from the author's sister!

(art commission by @kaysdenofchaos)

Hi readers of The Neon Void fanfic. This is the author’s older sister. She’s been getting a lot of fan art and asks lately. She’s sent me screenshots of a few unanswered ones looking for advice on how to respond.

While all the love and support of TNV is genuinely appreciated, my sister @sugarpasteltmnt is not equipped to respond to a small handful of these asks/comments that are, quite frankly, inappropriate.

Sugarpastels is not a therapist, and she’s certainly not an internet stranger’s therapist.

She’s an adult with an extremely demanding and stressful job for a very large client. Some of you have already experienced and enjoyed her work IRL without knowing it. Her company is close to finishing another project that will bring a lot of joy to hundreds of thousands of people every year, but working on a project of that scale is extremely stressful.

She is writing this fanfic for fun. TNV is a way for her to decompress and put her creative energy towards something other than work.

What’s not fun is coming home to asks/comments from readers who are projecting their own struggles/mental health onto TNV, and even Sugarpastels herself, and demanding some sort of attention from her over it.

Let’s be real: it’s fun to watch our blorbos suffer! So much of fandom is just us putting our favorite characters in Situations because it’s fun. Simple as that. But I think another reason TNV has resonated so strongly with readers is because of the way Sugarpastels writes the internal struggles of these characters.

We are both aware that TNV deals with mental health topics. Since the early days of “modern” fandom, fanfiction has been a way for people to explore complicated, difficult and sometimes even taboo subjects. There’s no shortage of complex feelings being explored in TNV, which is why we’re all having so much fun reading it.

But that’s all it is; an exploration. Sugarpastels is not a mental health expert. I’ve read a handful of books on PTSD and mindfulness for research while writing my own fanfic, and I would never consider myself prepared to help someone else.

It’s okay if you relate to things from TNV. I know I do! Again, fanfic has always been a way to read about things rarely dealt with (or handled poorly) in published fiction/tv shows/movies. I will always argue one of the greatest things about fanfiction and other fanworks is being able to see ourselves and our own struggles through our favorite fictional characters.

But Sugarpastels is not a fictional character. She’s a real person. Most importantly (to me at least) she’s my little sister, and this big sister cannot handle watching some of her readers expect more of her than is appropriate.

So I’m asking you to please be mindful of what you ask/say to not just her, but literally everyone on the internet. Unless you’re chatting with someone regularly, they do not know you. Whether it’s friends, family, teachers, coaches, etc, there are people in your life who know you personally, and are therefore better equipped to help you than a stranger on the internet.

Sugarpastels is so full of empathy that it’s hard to not feel for you when you send things like this. But it just isn’t fair to put that kind of unnecessary pressure on someone who is, at the end of the day, just trying to have some fun writing about ninja turtles bein’ sad.

(That being said, PLEASE DON’T BE SCARED TO SEND HER ASKS AND FAN ART!!! They make her day every single time and are seriously so, so appreciated. She’s texting me about it constantly how much she loves all of TNV’s readers. This whole post is really directed at an extremely small percentage of her readers, but there have been enough I felt something needed to be said.)

[marzipanandminutiae]

there is a reproduced 1909 magazine story in this book I read recently (The Female Economy by Wendy Gamber it is amazing oh my god) that just makes my soul depart my body

it's about a woman who decides to make her own new dress undersleeves to save money, and enlists a dressmaker to do the actual sewing. but she can Totally Cut The Sleeves Out Herself With This Paper Pattern So She's The One Making It Really

for reference as to why this is absolutely insane, cutting/fitting is the single hardest part of Victorian and Edwardian dressmaking. this is where all the Mathing and Thinking and Make Two-Dimensional Shapes Into Three-Dimensional Garments come into play. and contrary to popular belief, while most women at the time were accomplished seamstresses- in the sense of "putting fabric together using stitches, and likely also mending" -they didn't necessarily have a clue how to shape a garment. especially not the highly fitted bodices and imaginative sleeve shapes of the day. custom-made clothes from dressmakers were commonplace for most social strata in urban and suburban areas; even lower-middle and working-class women had "lesser" dressmakers they patronized

you do start seeing commercial patterns and home dressmaking manuals steadily increasing throughout the latter half of the 19th century and the early 20th, but in general there was no reason to assume that a random woman on the street could make herself a properly-fitted gown- or even just sleeves -from scratch. (not even with a pattern, which were notoriously scant on instructions back then)

a modern hobbyist historical costumer probably has more knowledge of how to actually make clothing from 1909 than the average woman living in 1909

so anyway this lady tells the professional dressmaker to stop giving her advice, she's got this, she's FINE HONEST. and then gets pissed at the dressmaker for not telling her she needed to include seam allowance in her pieces

for more reference, that is...

...the absolute most basic Day One sewing knowledge

[writingwithcolor]

My alternate universe fantasy colonial Hong Kong is more authoritarian and just as racist but less homophobic than in real life, should I change that?

@floatyhands asked:

I’m a Hongkonger working on a magical alternate universe dystopia set in what is basically British colonial Hong Kong in the late 1920s. My main character is a young upper middle-class Eurasian bisexual man.  I plan to keep the colony’s historical racial hierarchy in this universe, but I also want the fantasy quirks to mean that unlike in real life history, homosexuality was either recently decriminalized, or that the laws are barely enforced, because my boy deserves a break. Still, the institutions are quite homophobic, and this relative tolerance might not last. Meanwhile, due to other divergences (e.g. eldritch horrors, also the government’s even worse mishandling of the 1922 Seamen's Strike and the 1925 Canton-Hong Kong Strike), the colonial administration is a lot more authoritarian than it was in real history. This growing authoritarianism is not exclusive to the colony, and is part of a larger global trend in this universe.  I realize these worldbuilding decisions above may whitewash colonialism, or come off as choosing to ignore one colonial oppression in favor of exaggerating another. Is there any advice as to how I can address this issue? (Maybe I could have my character get away by bribing the cops, though institutional corruption is more associated with the 1960s?) Thank you!

Historical Precedent for Imperialistic Gay Rights

There is a recently-published book about this topic that might actually interest you: Racism And The Making of Gay Rights by Laurie Marhoefer (note: I have yet to read it, it’s on my list). It essentially describes how the modern gay rights movement was built from colonialism and imperialism. 

The book covers Magnus Hirschfeld, a German sexologist in the early 1900s, and (one of) his lover(s), Li Shiu Tong, who he met in British Shanghai. Magnus is generally considered to have laid the groundwork for a lot of gay rights, and his research via the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft was a target of Nazi book-burnings, but he was working with imperial governments in an era where the British Empire was still everywhere. 

Considering they both ended up speaking to multiple world leaders about natural human sexual variation both in terms of intersex issues and sexual attraction, your time period really isn’t that far off for people beginning to be slightly more open-minded—while also being deeply imperialist in other ways.

The thing about this particular time period is homosexuality as we know it was recently coming into play, starting with the trial of Oscar Wilde and the rise of Nazism. But between those two is a pretty wildly fluctuating gap of attitudes.

Oscar Wilde’s trial is generally considered the period where gay people, specifically men who loved men, started becoming a group to be disliked for disrupting social order. It was very public, very scandalous, and his fall from grace is one of the things that drove so many gay and/or queer men underground. It also helped produce some of the extremely queercoded classical literature of the Victorian and Edwardian eras (ex: Dracula), because so many writers were exploring what it meant to be seen as such negative forces. A lot of people hated Oscar Wilde for bringing the concept to such a public discussion point, when being discreet had been so important.

But come the 1920s, people were beginning to wonder if being gay was that bad, and Mangus Hirschfeld managed to do a world tour of speaking come the 1930s, before all of that was derailed by wwii. He (and/or Li Shiu Tong) were writing papers that were getting published and sent to various health departments about how being gay wasn’t an illness, and more just an “alternative” way of loving others. 

This was also the era of Boston Marriages where wealthy single women lived together as partners (I’m sure there’s an mlm-equivalent but I cannot remember or find it). People were a lot less likely to care if you kept things discreet, so there might be less day to day homophobia than one would expect. Romantic friendships were everywhere, and were considered the ideal—the amount of affection you could express to your same-sex best friend was far above what is socially tolerable now.

Kaz Rowe has a lot of videos with cited bibliographies about various queer disasters [affectionate] of the late 1800s/early 1900s, not to mention a lot of other cultural oddities of the Victorian era (and how many of those attitudes have carried into modern day) so you can start to get the proper terms to look it up for yourself.

I know there’s a certain… mistrust of specifically queer media analysts on YouTube in the current. Well. Plagiarism/fact-creation scandal (if you don’t know about the fact-creation, check out Todd in the Shadows). I recommend Kaz because they have citations on screen and in the description that aren’t whole-cloth ripped off from wikipedia’s citation list (they’ve also been published via Getty Publications, a museum press). 

For audio-preferring people (hi), a video is more accessible than text, and sometimes the exposure to stuff that’s able to pull exact terms can finally get you the resources you need. If text is more accessible, just jump to the description box/transcript and have fun. Consider them and their work a starting place, not a professor. 

There is always a vulnerability in learning things, because we can never outrun our own confirmation bias and we always have limited time to chase down facts and sources—we can only do our best and be open to finding facts that disprove what we researched prior.

Colonialism’s Popularity Problem

Something about colonialism that I’ve rarely discussed is how some colonial empires actually “allow” certain types of “deviance” if that deviance will temporarily serve its ends. Namely, when colonialism needs to expand its territory, either from landing in a new area or having recently messed up and needing to re-charm the population.

By that I mean: if a fascist group is struggling to maintain popularity, it will often conditionally open its doors to all walks of life in order to capture a greater market. It will also pay its spokespeople for the privilege of serving their ends, often very well. Authoritarians know the power of having the token supporter from a marginalized group on payroll: it both opens you up directly to that person’s identity, and sways the moderates towards going “well they allow [person/group] so they can’t be that bad, and I prefer them.”

Like it or not, any marginalized group can have its fascist members, sometimes even masquerading as the progressives. Being marginalized does not automatically equate to not wanting fascism, because people tend to want fascist leaders they agree with instead of democracy and coalition building. People can also think that certain people are exaggerating the horrors of colonialism, because it doesn’t happen to good people, and look, they accept their friends who are good people, so they’re fine. 

A dominant fascist group can absolutely use this to their advantage in order to gain more foot soldiers, which then increases their raw numbers, which puts them in enough power they can stop caring about opening their ranks, and only then do they turn on their “deviant” members. By the time they turn, it’s usually too late, and there’s often a lot of feelings of betrayal because the spokesperson (and those who liked them) thought they were accepted, instead of just used.

You said it yourself that this colonial government is even stricter than the historical equivalent—which could mean it needs some sort of leverage to maintain its popularity. “Allowing” gay people to be some variation of themselves would be an ideal solution to this, but it would come with a bunch of conditions. What those conditions are I couldn’t tell you—that’s for your own imagination, based off what this group’s ideal is, but some suggestions are “follow the traditional dating/friendship norms”, “have their own gender identity slightly to the left of the cis ideal”, and/or “pretend to never actually be dating but everyone knows and pretends to not care so long as they don’t out themselves”—that would signal to the reader that this is deeply conditional and about to all come apart. 

It would, however, mean your poor boy is less likely to get a break, because he would be policed to be the “acceptable kind of gay” that the colonial government is currently tolerating (not unlike the way the States claims to support white cis same-sex couples in the suburbs but not bipoc queer-trans people in polycules). It also provides a more salient angle for this colonial government to come crashing down, if that’s the way this narrative goes.

Colonial governments are often looking for scapegoats; if gay people aren’t the current one, then they’d be offered a lot more freedom just to improve the public image of those in power. You have the opportunity to have the strikers be the current scapegoats, which would take the heat off many other groups���including those hit by homophobia.

In Conclusion

Personally, I’d take a more “gays for Trump” attitude about the colonialism and their apparent “lack” of homophobia—they’re just trying to regain popularity after mishandling a major scandal, and the gay people will be on the outs soon enough.

You could also take the more nuanced approach and see how imperialism shaped modern gay rights and just fast-track that in your time period, to give it the right flavour of imperialism. A lot of BIPOC lgbtqa+ people will tell you the modern gay rights movement is assimilationalist, colonialist, and other flavours of ick, so that angle is viable.

You can also make something that looks more accepting to the modern eye by leaning heavily on romantic friendships that encouraged people waxing poetic for their “best friends”, keeping the “lovers” part deeply on the down low, but is still restrictive and people just don’t talk about it in public unless it’s in euphemisms or among other same-sex-attracted people because there’s nothing wrong with loving your best friend, you just can’t go off and claim you’re a couple like a heterosexual couple is.

Either way, you’re not sanitizing colonialism inherently by having there be less modern-recognized homophobia in this deeply authoritarian setting. You just need to add some guard rails on it so that, sure, your character might be fine if he behaves, but there are still “deviants” that the government will not accept. 

Because that’s, in the end, one of the core tenants that makes a government colonial: its acceptance of groups is frequently based on how closely you follow the rules and police others for not following them, and anyone who isn’t their ideal person will be on the outs eventually. But that doesn’t mean they can’t have a facade of pretending those rules are totally going to include people who are to the left of those ideals, if those people fit in every other ideal, or you’re safe only if you keep it quiet.

~ Leigh

[les-gnossiennes-fantomatiques]

An Unorthodox Fic Recommendation

Hey, everyone.

So I’d been wanting to write this post for a while, but I’d had a hard time finding the words to articulate my exact feelings for a good long while now. But in the spirit of the holidays, goodwill towards all, and so on and so forth, I’ve somehow managed to catch my breath.

I dipped pretty suddenly from fandom earlier this year for multiple reasons, most of which fell under the umbrella of a very real and very unfortunate truth: I was sick. Stupid sick. And fandom, while obviously not the only thing contributing to this by a long mile, was not conducive to me getting better.

My drinking, you see, had gotten bad in a way that is honestly humbling to think about now; it was at levels that were both physically and mentally dangerous and unsustainable. Moreover, it was beginning to affect the people I love most in this world. And, unfortunately, pounding back a glass, a bottle, two bottles of wine, hey maybe I can run to the gas station for a few mini bottles of whiskey to end the night went hand-in-hand with writing and my fandom experience in general.

I won’t go into the details of my actual rock bottom, besides that it hit in March of this year and that I’m grateful it was relatively minor compared to many of the stories I’ve heard in my recovery journey. But suffice to say, I checked into rehab and everything had to go on the back burner from that point on. I’m lucky that I had the unwavering love and support of my husband, my family, my work, and my friends (including a bunch of people I’ve met through this fandom specifically--put a pin in that) to start down that path, because all the same, it has often been a very lonely, very dark, and very isolating place to be. But so is addiction.

So here I am, hours and hours of group counseling, enough EMDR therapy to relive every childhood trauma in the book, countless tweakings of my meds, endless bottles of Coke Zero later, and I’m almost ten months sober.

And I find myself asking now what?

One of the biggest challenges in early sobriety, you learn quickly, is redefining fun for yourself in a world without your substance of choice, without the very thing that feeds your ego and silences your self-criticisms, without what feels like the only thing propelling you from one bleak day to the next. And for a long time, I worried that fandom had stopped being fun. That the joy of writing had been permanently ruined by the associations I’d made with drinking and negative related experiences.

But, back to my fandom friends. I worried so much they would lose interest in me as a person--that I’d become too boring or depressing or unfun in this next leg of life to want to stick around. I’ve found the opposite to be true--from the countless yapping sessions up and down 8th Avenue and booze-free hangouts, to the endless DMs of advice and memes, to the long heart-to-hearts over pots of tea, to… watching whatever the fuck is going on in the David Staller version and having a good long laugh. I didn’t expect this coming into 2024--I don’t know what I expected, honestly, besides maybe the hospital and divorce papers and more loneliness--and leaving this year behind me knowing I’ve got that means the world to me.

So all this is to say, one of the other things that helped me pull through this challenging period of life has been, surprisingly enough, fan fiction.

Particularly Battered Dove by BattyDings.

Modern AUs are always really hard to pull off, at least to me, in a way that feels satisfying. (This is why I am a coward and don’t write them lol.) More often than not, there’s a tendency for the story to get caught up in retrofitting the more melodramatic, antiquated elements (I say this with love) into a world where they can’t really exist with a straight face, and often at the cost of the characterizations and plot. The best modern AUs, for me, lean into the framework of what is there thematically: the ideas of loneliness, manipulation, dependency (themselves all negative aspects of addiction) balanced against the possibility of redemption, love, and making amends.

And in Battered Dove, BattyDings has rather brilliantly transposed these things into the context of substance abuse and addiction. If Phantom is a story about two lonely broken people getting caught up in a shared passion that brings out the best and worst in each other (particularly Erik lol), then Battered Dove sees our dynamic duo thrown together by a mutual past in drugs and hopefully redeemed by the music they make together.

It’s often a hard and unflinching read, and one that in other hands could easily come off as crass or edgelord-y. But in Batty’s hands, Battered Dove is a thoughtful, sensitive, tender unraveling of the Erik and Christine dynamic that keeps me coming back: that is, the only way they can “get well” is by going through something that is arguably more painful and terrifying than the present reality they live in: giving up what they think they love most.

I’ve read this story multiple times over the years and was always tremendously moved by the simple but powerful interpretation laid out in this fic; in pre-contemplation, when I’d be crawling into bed drunk every night and wondering if this was how I was going to die, bits and pieces of it would come to me. Me in bed, on the verge of blacking out, thinking about Phantom of the Opera fan fiction, wondering if I could do better (nah, no, I couldn’t. Not me.) Rereading Battered Dove for the first time after starting rehab and getting well into this journey was all the more astounding.

Phantom of the Opera, for me, is not the story of a monster who brutalizes women and we’re somehow supposed to feel bad or glean some larger, cynical message about the world from it; for me, it is a story of bittersweet hope--a slow, sad hope that the ones we love and that the ones we’ve hurt will feel peace and sunshine, without the guaranteed promise or reward we will feel it for ourselves. But that, in our selfless kindnesses born out of real love and care for others, we can at least begin to see a better version of ourselves staring back at us--no matter how broken, how lonely, how downright used and ugly we feel.

To me, that is recovery. That is what the last ten months have been. There is no guarantee who I will be in a year--what wrongs I will right, what truths I will uncover, or even if I'll have managed to maintained my sobriety (though I feel hopeful). I am promised nothing but the day in front of me and the little, powerful joy I get in doing right by the universe with each passing hour.

And Battered Dove captures that perfectly. Can’t recommend that enough.

Thank you for being a friend and source of light through this hard time, @battydings. Pls accept this humble doodle and biggest thank you for writing such a wonderful, heartfelt story.

[chemblrish]

Maria Skłodowska-Curie. That's it, that's the post.

As per my poll, here's a post on MSC!

This post began as a bit of a messy thing. I wanted to write about MSC because she was a brilliant Polish woman who became one of the most important scientists of modern chemistry and physics and I, as a Polish woman and a science major, admire her greatly. But the whole thing was vague and lacked direction. I received some kindly advice though and decided to focus on this: what was Maria like? Everybody knows she had an exceptional mind, that she had close ties with Paris, that she discovered radium and polonium, that she received the Nobel prize twice… But did you know she was said to have “serious, gray eyes” or that her initial plan was to spend her life working as a teacher or that she loved her homeland deeply? Underneath her doubtlessly exceptional achievements she was a person, and I’d love to take a look at that.

Maria Skłodowska ("skwo-DOV-ska") was born on 7 November 1867 in Warsaw under Russian occupation. Her father was a mathematics and physics teacher, so it may seem natural that little Maria took an interest in science, but as a child she was a phenomenal student in general, no matter the subject; she read a lot of books, and she learnt to read very early. She was considered very gifted. 

Her family wasn’t rich by any means. Maria’s father – a Polish man, a school teacher under the tzar’s merciless reign – knew very well he couldn’t afford to give all his children the education he wanted for them, not to mention neither Maria nor her older sister Bronia were allowed to attend university in occupied Poland. Making their dreams come true – studying at the Sorbonne – depended on the money they didn’t have.

At 17 Maria made a decision: she was going to work as a teacher while Bronia pursued medicine in Paris with the help of the money earned by Maria. After Bronia’s graduation they would switch: Bronia was going to work as a doctor while Maria attended university.

It was by no means an easy task. During the following years Maria had to withstand not only immensely hard work and a longing for learning, but also unfair employers, lack of respect, and heartbreak. But she persisted. She was 24 when finally she was able to pack up and take the train to Paris.

[source]

Soon after taking up her studies at the Sorbonne did Maria realize how far behind the other students she was: they were able to pursue an official education in a free country, something she’d never gotten to experience before. She had been an excellent student back in Poland, a fluent French speaker, but now it turned out her knowledge was lacking. Obviously, this couldn’t discourage her. Bronia’s husband Kazimierz wrote in a letter to her father that Maria would spend entire days at her university, only coming home in the evening. She worked admirably hard to catch up. And she was happy: at long last she could study science and mathematics in depth, the way she had longed to do for so many years.

Of course, money never stopped being an issue. Even with her father’s and sister’s help, she was still poor. She definitely wasn’t eating enough. In winter, she was cold. Other than that, she mostly gave up on her colleagues, refused to waste her time on “insignificant” things: that is, everything but studying, unfolding the secrets of chemistry and physics, practicing her laboratory skills. She was living and breathing science.

[left / right]

Pierre Curie was older, an exceptional physicist, charming and calm, still unmarried at 35 – he wouldn’t love a woman who couldn’t be first and foremost his intellectual partner. But Maria wasn’t looking for love and she certainly wasn’t looking for a marriage. She had a degree in physics, was on her way to get a degree in mathematics as well, all the while working on the magnetism of steel. And indeed, when they met through a professor who thought Pierre might be of help to young Maria, it was mostly curiosity, mutual respect, and primarily a great scientific interest that bloomed between them and brought them closer together.

Maria didn’t give in easily. All along her plan had been to earn her degrees and return to Warsaw, to her elderly father, and remain working as a teacher for the rest of her life. But there’s no doubt that when she eventually agreed to marry Pierre, it was out of genuine, deep love. They had a sincere, precious connection, both emotional and intellectual.

Did you know Maria and Pierre loved to travel the countryside on their bikes? They did. It’s how they spent most of their time together after their wedding. And not for a moment did they forget about their shared passion for science – they discussed it even during their travels. They lived together and they worked together. Their first child Irène – future Nobel prize winner as well! – was born in September 1897, Ève – their younger daughter – seven years later.

Pierre’s family adored Maria, Maria’s family loved Pierre. The two of them would frequently visit Pierre’s parents and they continued their biking trips, but other than that their life was utterly devoted to science. I know, it sounds like I’m exaggerating, but it’s true. Along with the fact they always had very little money, work was all they had.

Radium appeared in Maria’s life when she was working on her doctorate. Her laboratory was cold, damp, and badly equipped, but it seems to me Maria’s determination was inexhaustible. She began by studying uranium, but she soon figured out she had to include other elements in her research as well in order to solve the mystery at hand. It was only after a year of this work that Maria realized she might have discovered an element previously unknown.

Pierre was interested in Maria’s research before, but – save from the occasional advice as an older and more experienced scientist – he mostly left her to do her own thing while he focused on his crystals. At this point however, he was so intrigued he abandoned his research to work with Maria on her project. In 1898 (two years into Maria’s PhD work!) they published a paper together – in it they announced the discovery of a new element: polonium, named after Maria’s beloved homeland. Later that year, they did the same for radium. They coined the term “radioactivity”.

Maria kept a meticulous journal, not only for her laboratory work. She was carefully tracking their spending as well as Irène’s development, the way she learnt to walk and speak and play with their cat.

And so, her life continued: filthy, hard work in the infamous shed, a ton of an ore for less than a gram of product (!), countless papers published with her dearest husband, watching their daughter grow, earning her doctorate degree; then, in 1903, her first Nobel prize (along with her husband and Henri Becquerel).

The Nobel prize brought Maria and Pierre fame – and it was a tragedy. For them, at least. Modest and humble as they were, they couldn’t stand the journalists almost storming their garden, going as far as “describing [their] black and white cat [in the newspapers]” as Pierre said in a letter to a friend. I allowed myself to translate a piece of a letter that Maria sent to her brother in 1904 amid the post-Nobel craze, as it’s both sad and hilarious:

“I wish you health [for your name-day], well-being for all of your family, and for you never to experience the sort of correspondence and assault that we are now subjected to. Ever since that accursed Nobel prize we’ve been unable to do anything, and I’m beginning to ask myself if the money we received will be of any consolation, as, after all, the people who sell me meat, coal, sugar, etc. are richer than me yet they do not experience such sorrows. […] and yesterday some American wrote to me, asking for permission to name a race horse after me.”

Maria’s life took a truly sharp turn when Pierre died in an accident in 1906. Despite the tragedy that irreparably crushed her heart, she never ceased her work. She became a professor, organized classes for her and her friends’ kids, ran the Radium Institute, continued her research, received her second Nobel prize. During World War I it was her mobile X-ray machines that saved countless lives: she was active and involved, operating the machines with her older daughter and teaching others how to do it.

[left / right]

She lived long enough to see her dear, beloved Poland become an independent country once more. To the very end she remained humble and uninterested in fame, hardworking and dedicated entirely to science.

I based this post mostly on Madame Curie by her daughter Ève which I highly recommend!

[critlore]

WE'RE LIVE!!!

Run, don't walk (or the internet equivalent) to Kickstarter and back us now for early bird prices and first chance at limited rewards, including:

* Play with the writers

* Be in the book (kinda)

* Unique, in-game content for YOU, YOU, YOU!

"Urban legends" is another way to say “our deepest fears given form.” Stranger danger, government conspiracies, contaminated food, anything beyond human control — they’re modern myths to make sense of modern anxieties.

And, OK, sometimes they’re just about owl men. We can’t explain that one.

The best urban legends are shocking, gross, just about plausible, or all of the above. Those are the sweet spots we’re aiming at with these scenarios.

We’re letting our freak flag fly with Do Not Adjust Your Set, but that doesn’t mean we’re going completely off the rails. The book will include guidance on playing safely, a full set of content warnings for each scenario, and some general tips on running horror scenarios. We’re also committed to making these scenarios surprising, creepy, occasionally screwed up, but not bigoted or hateful.

Do Not Adjust Your Set will be a softcover, A5 book. We think it’ll run to about 100 pages, but stretch goals could make it bigger than that. It will include:

An introduction and advice on playing safely

How to prep and run a system-neutral scenario

Six scenarios, each good for 1-2 sessions of play (possibly more, depending on your players)

Full-colour art for each scenario by Lore Evans and Madeleine Ember

The Kickstarter is live until 28th November, but we have early bird prices and limited reward tiers, so back now!

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Elijah Kamski x fem!reader - I want your soul

warning : minors don't interact/read, smut, p in v , mirror sex, some oral (f receiving), bondage, fluff/comfort, obsession

Summary : Elijah Kamski the genius behind the androids and their accessories. He was the genius of the most important man. Who was looking for someone to work with him on something. But did a genius like him really need help or was it something else he wanted, sought and needed to create something that would give him something in the end.

Info : Okay I've finally finished writing it I'm not completely satisfied for one thing because I've had this floating around for months and haven't finished it, I'm going to write an extra one with a few more themes that I hadn't done here. I hope the smut is good and the story is not too ripped out as always it should be as realistic as possible. Have fun reading :)

Ps : @thatsthewrongwallcraig I finally did it I hope you are still in your Elijah obsession have fun reading :)

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Detroid had changed since she was born in 2013, it seemed the whole world had changed. Everything had become more modern, more technological and more efficient.

The whole world wasn't just getting closer to the old movies about the future, it had already overtaken them.

It opened up new paths, more possibilities and development was at a level that made them all but immortal. Until the androids came.

Developed by one man, a genius with an IQ of 171, Elijah Kamski. The young genius who developed the androids became a kind of god to some and the devil to others.

The devil for the people whose jobs he had taken away with the androids. He had everything, at least if you could believe the press and the news.

With the invention of thirium and biocomponent technology, he was also the founder of Cyber Life and the richest man on the planet.

He was the incarnate one. The incarnate one who one day launched a public appeal. Not something for a new project since his retirement in 2028 or an assistant or perhaps a successor.

It was rumors that went around the world but especially in Detroid made waves. Until the announcement came from Elijah himself and it was weirder than they had imagined.

Elijah wasn't looking for a successor, he was looking for a maid to inspire his new projects. It was a headline that the magazines ran with and something that caused a boom, suddenly the whole world seemed to be standing in front of the entrance to Cyber-Life's main building.

No one knew what was waiting for them inside, but they all hoped to work for Kamski. It seemed that only one thing mattered to them all. To see Elija Kamski and his money. Because they all knew he would pay well, or so they said.

The kilometer-long queue that stretched out in front had all kinds of people. Everyone who wanted the job would fight for a place. All except for one person, a young woman who was standing in the queue like everyone else.

She wouldn't necessarily walk over dead bodies and would rather take good advice from him that she needed for her studies or a tip for finances because she didn't have any.

To be honest, she was only here to take advantage of this small, minimal opportunity to get the money to pay for her studies and to pay back her parents who had taken on extra debt. A fact that weighed heavily on her heart.

Which is why she could use the money and paying a publisher to turn her script into a book wasn't cheap either and realizing a dream like that would be nice too. But as much as she wanted to, she had to survive the queue first.

I certainly wouldn't be the first to die because of all this standing, she thought, remembering all the people she had seen with tents and chairs. How they came out of the building with their heads hanging or cursing. They had missed their chance.

But she also felt how her feet had been hurting for hours, she had run out of the university as early as she could and yet she was one of the last. But after hours in which the sun would set again in a few hours anyway, it was finally her turn.

Saw how the entrance gradually came closer and closer. She finally had the chance to get to it. Will he notice? the question popped into her head and she became all the more aware of the notebook in her bag.

She didn't know how she should feel about it. Meeting the man who had fascinated her for as long as she could remember.

Meeting the man who was the lover in her book, everything was exactly the same except for the name. Initially in her late teens it was just a model she had used but now. It was more.

More than she perhaps wanted to admit to herself. ,,Miss, it's your turn," a voice snapped her out of her thoughts and her hand slipped into her pocket. Past her notebook and to her wallet and pulled it out.

She thanked the security guard after he had looked at her ID. Before she went into the building with a pounding heart.

She knew it from videos and pictures she had seen in her primary school days. Vague memories went through her mind as she saw an android approaching her.

It seemed as if they wanted to hold back the free spirit and not let people walk around here freely. Like a fake bird in a real cage. ,,Good afternoon, Miss, would you please follow me," he said and she saw the Led flicker briefly from blue to a brief yellow.

He must be announcing me she thought to herself and followed the android with a smile knowing that many others were hostile towards the machines.

Some even went so far as to beat up and kill the androids that didn't fight back. There were unpleasant headlines about severed body parts belonging to several missing androids. Headlines that sent shivers down her spine.

After all, who said that all the androids wouldn't be dead soon? ,,What is it that Mr. Kamski wants from me?" she asked as they walked through the foyer and stood in an elevator. The android stood in front of her and turned his head slightly towards her.

She saw exactly how his eyes avoided hers for a second before he said, ,,A test to see if you are suitable for the job you are looking for," and turned forward again. The quiet hum of the elevator was between them again and her purse had disappeared back into her pocket.

Her heart seemed to compete with her nervousness as the elevator arrived at the top floor of the building. The floor she had never been on before, at least not then.

It seemed almost unbelievable to be back here now. ,,Please, you have to go through this door, good luck," the android said, pointing to what appeared to be a door in the large white hallway with a few modern paintings, plants and bright lights.

,,Thank you," she mumbled and gave the android a small smile before stepping out of the elevator and walking towards the door.

She heard exactly how the android got back in and she was alone in the hallway. She knew she had to go forward. She finally had to go to the door and felt how each step seemed to get heavier and heavier.

But after a few seconds the moment was over and she put her hand on the handle. Opened the door and stepped into the room where she found the man who would give her a job.

The light in the room was dimmer, not so bright that it stung her eyes, it was most like a foggy afternoon with dark clouds hanging in the sky and the threat of thunderstorms. Her eyes fell on the occupied armchair that stood behind a glass table.

The light illuminated the figure slightly and she saw him. ,,Good afternoon, Mr. Kamski," she said, surprised that her voice had held and that she hadn't thrown up from nervousness.

She saw how he leaned forward slightly, the dark strands of his hair framing his face. His bright blue eyes watching her closely as if she were the machine to him and the androids were the humans.

As he briefly pointed to the chair she should sit down on, she obeyed his silent command, her slightly trembling fingers pulling the chair back and sitting down. The slight clatter of her bag seemed to be too loud in the room before she turned her gaze forward.

His eyes met hers and she almost forgot to breathe for a moment. He was everything. He seemed like it came from her imagination, the pictures, videos and articles. ,,Do you think an android can get nervous?" his voice suddenly rang out, so engaging that it seemed to drown out her heartbeat.

The question echoed in her head over and over again. ,,N-no I mean yes" she began to stammer and felt the warmth jump to her ears and cheeks.

Oh god pull yourself together! she screamed at herself in her head, swallowing the lump in her throat and digging her fingers into her jeans. ,,Yes... I do think that androids can get nervous. There are... deviants who show emotions, they are human too," she replied and looked up from her lap to the older one again.

Saw how he had tilted his head slightly. His gaze looked as if he was considering whether he should throw her out or do it himself.

,,So you're implying that androids are human? Are you questioning my work?" he asked, smirking as he could practically see the gears turning in her head. She was apparently trying to guess which answer was the right one.

After a few more seconds of silence, he saw in her gaze that she had found her answer. ,,No, I don't question it, I would say that it shows that the relationship between humans and androids is maybe doing something... maybe human," she dared to put up her tese and saw first to her fear how the small smile on his lips disappeared.

His bright eyes looked at her almost incredulously as if she had deeply offended him. I'll never get a job, she thought to herself and was about to reach for her bag when she heard the sound of paper.

,,Come to this address next week and have your tessellation completed Miss," he said and felt him put a card in her hand. She had it. She had the job.

She had finally got it. ,,Thank you! I mean thank you very much Mr. Kamski, I'll come," she said and grabbed her bags before walking out of the room. The big smile on her lips spoke for itself as the android seemed to rejoice with her on her way out.

But in that time, she hadn't even thought about what it meant to be with him. To move in with him, to be with him for more than just minutes or hours. Forever.

Because a mind infused with devotion and emotion overlooks the obvious. Overlooks the gaze of obsession.

The gaze of possession. The gaze of the rich and their greed for everything. Oh, he would do so much more with her than just have her around.

But she did what he said and came to the address on Monday of the next week. His house was out of town, secluded by roads, woods and rocks.

But when she parked her small car in front of the house, armed only with a bag, she realized once again what this meant. I feel like a little kid at Christmas, she thought as she walked up the stairs to his door. It was the season of winter, snow was slowly falling from the sky and looking behind her she saw the landscape slowly turning white.

Her coat kept her warm and the hat on her head kept her ears from freezing. Ringing the bell, she tried to concentrate on the time in front of her, not the cold.

A smile on her lips turned into a surprised look when a blonde woman opened the door for her. ,,Hello, you're Miss Sun right?" she asked the blonde woman who seemed as perfect as only an angel could be.

An android. ,,Yes, I am Mr. Kamski had given me his address for the job," she replied and saw that the blonde woman stepped aside to let her in. ,,Mr. Kamski is expecting you, please take a seat in the living room," she said, a small smile playing around her lips before she gestured towards the room.

The house was too big for one man to live in. But as she walked through the hallways and doors, the dark walls, saw the colorful paintings and the markings, she realized how different they were.

She was nothing compared to him and yet he had chosen her. He had seen something in her, something that set her apart from the others.

But what? What was it? Putting the bag down next to the table, she found herself in the living room. Didn't know whether she should sit down or not. Instead, she stood next to the table and looked around the room.

Only heard muffled footsteps coming towards her, the door opened and he came out. He came out of another part of the house. A black bathrobe on his body, she saw that his hair was still slightly wet, she could see a little of his upper body.

But his gaze, his bright eyes seemed to focus only on her, despite his appearance, he had lost none of his look. ,,Good afternoon, Mr. Kamski, your housekeeper said I should come here...I can wait too," she said and was about to reach for her bag when she heard his grin.

A smirk that led to an amused smile. ,,No, I wanted you to be here and that's why you're here. I suppose you found your way here all right?" he asked, but his interest was clear. She sensed that it wasn't about her life. It should be about her.

It was supposed to be about her work and what was going on inside her. ,,Yes, I did, I also revised my thesis again... Mr. Kamski could you tell me what the job is about now?" she asked as she watched him make himself a green protein shake, mixing the powder with the vegetables, the blender surprisingly quiet.

But he remained silent as he calmly made his drink before walking past her, gesturing for her to follow him. Grabbing her handbag, she followed him, not knowing whether she should walk beside him or behind him.

But she opted for the latter, not wanting to push her luck too far. She didn't want to compete with him. But why? Do I even have a chance? she asked herself and almost walked into him when he stopped.

,,Your room is all yours, I know it might be unpleasant but I would ask you to stay here. As far as my work is concerned, quick communication is essential," he said, leaning against the doorframe as he watched her. She watched as she looked around the room a little.

The room was three times the size of her own small room. Cave it could probably even fit her entire apartment in here. Staying here? For how long? the question popped up in her head and she looked at him slightly questioningly.

She saw that he knew what she was getting at and took a sip of his drink. ,,I don't think for a few more weeks...it depends on how good you are...oh and please just call me Elijah," he dismissed her with those words, closing the door behind him and taking her nervousness with him.

Her glance at her bag let her know that she had to go back to her apartment to pick up her things, but that she had still taken her book with her.

The words she had written about him, being in his house, working for him. ,,I really did it," she muttered and proudly began to unpack her things, set up her room and took her things with her. She tried to find Elijah only to run into Chloe who let her know that Elijah was at work.

Letting her know when he needed her to get her things. Which is why she found herself back in her apartment less than an hour later. Had walked back to the exit, past the pictures and cameras, past the Chloes and past his gaze without realizing it.

She didn't see what he was doing, she just knew she had to do something to formulate her thesis. And when she came back, she saw him again eating a salad at the table in the living room, but this time he wasn't wearing a coat.

He was wearing normal jeans, a dark shirt and glasses. ,,I see you're back, I'd like to read your thesis the day after tomorrow. To understand what's going on inside you," he said and gave her a slight smile. She felt her heart beat faster again, she agreed and went back to her room with her things. The smile on her lips was unmistakable.

Just as unmistakable as his approval. She did as he said as she joined him in his office, his workroom full of various technical things. ,,Elijah, I have my thesis," she said as she stepped inside after knocking and the door opened, she saw him working on an android model.

It was a construct of wires, metal and the pump that symbolized the heart, yet human features were recognizable.

He looked up from his work and something like surprise flashed in his gaze as if he was realizing something before he gave her a satisfied look and motioned her to his desk.

She handed him her tese and he grinned as he felt the paper in his hands. ,,Old-fashioned and yet not corruptibly good," he said as he took the paper properly before he began to read it. she remained standing next to him, watching his eyes run over the sentences.

He became more and more lost in her work, absorbing her words and becoming more and more absorbed in them. ,,Perfection, your idea of something non-living... very good, I'm proud. I would like you to design a model of it for me more deep thought" he baht she had turned towards her his hand had placed itself on her shoulder.

She felt his warmth, although she had always thought of him as cold, he was warm. He was welcoming and he made her heart beat faster, leaving her proud as he held her tese before giving her a smile and watching her walk out of the room.

Not knowing what his thoughts turned to as he went back to his latest project. Her thesis would help him. Everything would be perfect.

But she did what he said, worked on her work, didn't question him, wouldn't and shouldn't. Ate breakfast, lunch and dinner with him. Caught herself listening in the house to see if he was awake to go to the kitchen and make breakfast.

Usually did it with Chloe, who didn't need any sleep. The two of them talked and laughed and she forgot that the blonde was an android.

Forgetting what was happening around her, what was happening out in the world, what had ever happened. Because what she had was here. A job, a friend and a man who admired her and gave her support.

Or did she? Could she describe her life like this? How long had she been with him - days, weeks or even months? How often had she sat with him, revised her work and written down her inner life? What had happened?

,,My dear I will invite you to dinner and would like you to carry this here" she mumbled the words on the small card that lay on the gift wrapping paper that held something with fabric inside.

Unwrapping the gift, she saw the dark fabric of the dress and held it in front of her body. She could feel how expensive it must be, it was perfectly tailored to her body.

It was perfect in every way. As she stood in front of the mirror, she looked at herself in it and for a moment felt like she was on the same level as him. Was with him to the point that she meant something to him.

And she caught herself thinking that the only thing missing was the gold ring on her hand. But had she turned like this or had he made her like this? Did he want to make her like this? Or was everything bigger than he thought in the end? Was she programmed from the beginning to react like this, was it her feelings?

Was it his creation? She didn't let her thoughts get in the way and continued by putting red lipstick on her lips. She took one last look in the mirror before leaving her room. Hearing the clack of her shoes in the hallway, she walked into the dining room, finding no Chloe or any of her friends on her way.

She found only the silence of the house and heard the classical music coming from one of the rooms like a rhythm, the sounds played over and over again as she arrived in the candlelit room. ,,You look beautiful, I'm glad you put it on," he said, giving her the appearance of a choice she didn't have.

After all, what kind of woman would she be if she didn't comply with his request. ,,Thank you for the dress and the invitation," she replied, her gaze dropping for a moment before she saw him step into her field of vision, taking her hand and feeling his warmth as he led her to the table.

,,It's a multi-course meal to thank you for your work," he began, placing the first course of food, a simple soup, before reaching for the bottle of wine and pouring them both a glass.

She saw him sit down opposite her and they both ate in silence. But it wasn't unpleasant, on the contrary, the food, the sound of the cutlery and the music in the background created an atmosphere of comfort.

She couldn't see what was hiding behind his gaze as he concentrated on her. ,,Sorry I haven't had so much time for you in the last few days and weeks," he said, almost too suddenly, as he put down the spoon, his look apologetic but his voice seeming out of place. He was inappropriate.

A man who had spent time under machines could show emotion. ,,It's perfectly all right... I'm very glad we have this," she replied and finished her soup, not wanting to break the atmosphere.

She did as she was told before they got to the end of the meal and she didn't know what to do. She didn't have to because Elijah got up from his seat and walked over to her, offering her his hand before she walked next to him for the first time. His hand was on hers as they both walked towards his office.

His gaze was on her, watching her, looking for anything wrong. ,,I've taken the liberty of creating a new prototype...your notes and work helped" he began and walked over to the machine knowing she was listening to him, knowing she would do anything for him from this point on. He handed her the table with the data and watched as she looked over it, fascination in her eyes for his work.

He knew that she would always admire him, it didn't take much but he had read it. He had read her book and knew that she was truly the right person for his purpose.

That his inner self was right, his genius was right, his obsession was right. She let the shapes and processes on the table before she suddenly felt his hand on her shoulder.

He touched her in all the time she had been with him, he had never fully touched her now only when she had done something well. ,,What did I do well?" she asked, turning to him, the device with the thin screen still in her hand.

She kept still wanting more from him, the bond between them still far too strong. He saw her as his and she saw herself as his wife. It was and would be between them. It was her devotion in her brain for him, and it was his desire for her as his wife. For someone perfect.

,,Everything my love...you have no idea...what you've done to me," he murmured and she felt his other hand on her shoulder as he continued to touch her, praising her for something she couldn't do.

,,Can I do something for my existence?" she asked her inner question out to him, hearing his smirk, smelling the metal, the aftershave, snow and wine. Smelled him. Felt him so close to her and yet she didn't move. Stood still like someone waiting for an order.

Something he liked to have her the way he wanted her. Like an android. ,,You can help what you do... tell me, do you want to be free for a moment?" he asked, his hand moving over her shoulder and down to her hand. He gripped the tray and gave her the freedom to decide for a moment.

She could walk away or she could stay and give it to him. And she did. She gave it to him. ,,Free? But we're free, aren't we?" she asked, not knowing what he meant as he took the tray from her. Leaving the first kiss on her neck before he slowly moved her past the.

The office, like everything else, was just a pretext which she seemed to realize but it made no sense, it didn't matter, there was just the two of them and that should be enough. She hadn't been what she used to be for a long time.

But it didn't matter, it was about him and her, not about what had happened. She felt him leave more kisses on her skin as the doors opened in front of them and she felt the warmth on her cheeks, a natural reaction when she saw his bedroom. Dark walls reddish abstract paintings on the walls.

One might have thought that the pictures hid the portrait of a woman, but what did she know. At most, he saw her in the colors. Because he wanted to. Because understanding told him so. She felt him next to her, his hands gripped hers, her shy gaze found his.

Her uncertain, his almost demanding, the glasses helped him to see her better, even if he didn't need them. He would have her anyway. He slowly placed his hand on her side and pulled her close.

On the contrary, the closer he touched her, the more intimate she became. The more she wanted him. ,,That's it," he said with a murmur, apparently listening to her thoughts before she felt his lips on hers, kissing his warmth over her as she clung to him, almost searching.

He wanted the kiss more knew he was getting it. But she gladly gave herself to him. She felt safe. He had given her a job, given her a dress, given her everything.

Now it was only fair that she gave him something back, wasn't it? It was always like that. She only felt a dull sensation as he moved to her back and unzipped the expensive fabric flowing from her body. She stepped out of her shoes as if automatically, not wanting it to be over like this.

She wanted to please him without realizing that she was doing just that. ,,I've liked you ever since I saw you... like a perfection for me," he said, taking away her fear as he went to the bed, leaving her standing there, almost confused and full of shame.

The warmth on her cheeks increased as she felt flattered and crawled towards him on the bed, knowing that he was watching her, not hiding the fact that he found her attractive.

That he saw exactly how her nipples had hardened slightly from the cold. That his hands lay on the fabric and her shaky exhale. He had her body to himself, had her to himself. ,,Elijah you-me...you are everything," she murmured, knowing it was her mind veiled in lust.

The spirit that longed for Elijah wanted more. Wanted more of his touch. ,,I know that... I know everything, my love," he whispered to her, pulling her into another kiss before he let his hand wander over her breast again. He felt her shudder. ,,Poor girl...all these months without touch or pleasure...without me," he said, watching her.

Watched her through his Chloe's or had to know. Had given him lust without her knowing who his cameras were. She had shown him everything he needed to know. Always in the quiet of the night, he had touched himself to see what she had done.

He pulled her onto his lap, feeling her quick pulse as he kissed her neck, beginning to leave colorful marks on it, her warmth mingling with his as she held onto the cover in the dark bed.#

His hand that was not on her breast moved to her thigh. She felt her hips thrust out towards him, full of devotion, needing him. ,,I'm going to make you feel good look" he whispered to her biting lightly into her lobe hearing her shaky exhale feeling her lust could feel the tingling in her body as his rough fingers slipped under her bra.

Moaning his name, she pressed herself against him, feeling his own arousal against her back, yet he focused on her. Wanted to see her fall apart when he actually touched her.

She opened her half-closed eyes and looked at herself and Elijah out loud in surprise. Her own reflection in the mirror built into the closet. ,,Beautiful forever," he whispered to her and she moaned as she let his fingers wander over her center.

It was different where her fingers weren't even close enough, his seemed so much better. He felt her wetness through the fabric of her underwear, took his hand from her breast and let it wander over her body. Leaving red scratches, small bites, marks and kisses.

Driving her on as he repeatedly focused his attention on the little bundle of nerves. As her voice filled the room, the classical music drowning in it, he was also completely hard but with each of her shaky movements his hardness got some relief.

He rubbed himself lightly against her his breathing was slightly shaky and yet it made no difference. Because he dealt with her. Giving her more of what she wanted while his blue eyes were on her. Her gaze on the mirror. The trembling spread to her legs as she begged him for more.

But he knew he had watched her closely and knew when she was slowly coming to the end. ,,Look at you, darling... everything just for me," he continued to murmur, finally wanting to show her. His finger moved out of her only to add another one, keeping her better than her own, her hips in rhythm with him. His praise took her mind away.

His pace increased, her trembling increased and when he heard her murmur he knew she was nearing climax. ,,El-Elijah please," she said, resting her head on his shoulder, finally wanting to let go, her fingers digging into the dark bed. He gave her body more kisses before he gave her the okay.

He took his hand from her breast and gripped her jaw, forcing her to look at herself in the mirror. She fell apart around him with a throaty moan.

He pulled out of her, her heavy-breathing form relaxing to just a sporadic twitch of her legs as she came down from her high. Closing her eyes, he withdrew from her. Licked his hand clean and slowly pushed her away. Watched as she still wasn't completely back, but she didn't have to be. ,,Thank you for your time, my dear," he said, hearing only a murmur, but his gaze went to the mirror.

A flicker caused the android behind it to take away the image of the mirror, the projection disappeared and her image emerged in the form of the android.

,,I have recorded all the data, sir," said the android's voice, turning her gaze away from her human image. ,,Very well, interpret the data I want perfection darling," he said and his hand passed over hers but warmth met cold. The coldness of a machine before it went out. He was left alone with his muse, his darling.

Saw that she was asleep saw that she was unaware. Didn't know what his search for her had driven her to. ,,Sleep well my love," he said and withdrew from her, opening and closing the door. Left her alone.

Until he wanted her again, knowing that she would give him everything. That he had rebuilt her so that when her human shell died, he had her eternally living one. She was his, right down to her soul, she belonged to him and always had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[aesethewitch]

Shufflemancy 101: A Brief History & Analysis

Hey! If you like my work and want to support me in my quest for divination theory, digital tools, algorithmic quandries, and research into niche divination tools, consider throwing dollars at my Ko-Fi tip jar! Every contribution helps me keep making posts like this one. (You can also read this post over on Ko-Fi!)

The difficulty with researching something like shufflemancy is that it's a relatively modern phenomenon. I haven't yet found anyone (online or in a book) specifically talking about the origins of shufflemancy as a term or where it might've come from.

So, we start from square one.

What is Shufflemancy?

According to Wikipedia, shufflemancy is divination "by the use of an electronic media player such as an electronic playlist, iPod, or other medium wherein one skips a certain number of songs and the lyrics and/or tune of the song is the answer to the divinatory question."

Simple enough. Use an electronic collection of music that's been shuffled to divine.

This did lead me to the question: What counts as shufflemancy? Does tuning into a radio station count?

It's my opinion that radio divination does not count. There's no shuffle function. Yes, it has an element of chance, and that's what makes it divination. It certainly falls under the wider umbrella of divination via music, too. But it isn't shufflemancy if it doesn't make use of a shuffle function.

So, to make things simple, for something to be shufflemancy, it must:

Use an electronic medium

Involve a randomized shuffle function

Be something the shufflemancer can interpret to answer a question (pretty much anything)

Early Shufflemancy

The earliest form of shufflemancy as we understand it today, using the above requirements, would probably be tape players capable of shuffling music. With the nature of tape, it would take a while for the thing to wind and rewind to find the cue on the tape which signaled the start or end of a song, but it'd work.

With that said, shuffling as we understand and recognize it today would've started with CDs in the 1980s. There were CD players that could hold three to five disks at a time. They could shuffle songs between all disks held in the player, creating a random mix of tunes for listeners to enjoy.

Using either of these methods for divination would work, technically. The results would be somewhat limited, but that doesn't mean it's a bad method to use. Especially if your CD player could hold 5 disks, you could easily put in 5 albums from different artists with all different vibes for a wider variety of outputs.

I certainly remember using my little blue radio that held two CDs at once like this. I'd put in two albums and hit shuffle, and the first song that played would be my vibe and advice for the day. It was divination -- some of the earliest I'd ever done consciously, at the young age of nine. And when I got the bigger one that held three CDs? Game changer.

So this puts shufflemancy's origins somewhere around the mid-to-late 1980s, when Sony put out the first CD player with shuffle. As we moved into the 1990s, CDs became more popular and cassettes faced obsolescence.

The Shuffle Revolution & Early Modern Shufflemancy

In 2005, Apple changed the game again. It had already debuted the iPod in 2001, providing an easy, pocket-sized music experience as a direct challenge to the CD's cultural domination. On January 11, 2005, nearly 20 years ago, Apple announced the iPod Shuffle.

And oh, boy, did it change everything.

I could talk forever about the iPod's impact on the music industry, the death of the in-order album, and the eventual rise of music streaming services. But others have done that to death, so I'll focus in on our topic of shufflemancy.

This is where we start seeing shuffling music as it is now, in the modern day. In my digging, I found mentions of the term "shufflemancy" as early as 2007 -- just two years after the iPod Shuffle was announced. Someone proposed the concept and terminology of "shufflemancy" as we understand it today on a Halfbakery Forum "Idea" post on October 3, 2007.

It's difficult to say whether this is the first instance of the term. In reality, shufflemancy seems to have emerged as a natural by-product of the evolution of music technology. Where there is innovation, witches and diviners will mold it to their purposes. We're a resourceful bunch like that. It grew organically as we moved from buying albums to buying singles to streaming music without buying at all.

People were offering public shufflemancy readings as early as 2009 in places like TarotForum.net. It's spoken about during this era as a "silly" and "new" form of divination that people were trying out. There aren't any dates in that link, but according to the website's data, the first post in the thread was published on June 16, 2009.

From there, shufflemancy saw a gradual rise in popularity. It evolved from using iPods to iTunes, Napster, and eventually Spotify as these new applications emerged.

Shufflemancy Now

If you look up "shufflemancy" using Spotify's search function, you'll receive dozens of results. Many of the top playlists are public ones curated by shufflemancers for themselves and others to use. Options range from general playlists to "mega mixes" containing upwards of 200 hours of music from all different genres, artists, and eras. There are some with a paltry five hours of music, while one that I've seen goes up over the 600 hour mark. (If I can find that one again, I'll reblog it, because... damn.)

Select a "messages from your guides" option from the search or curate your own -- the choice is yours. For one-time shufflemancers, using a pre-made option may be the best, most economical choice. But dedicated shufflemancers sometimes boast multiple hundred-hour playlists for different purposes, all personally curated.

Clearly, it's popular. There are shufflemancers on Tumblr and Etsy offering free and paid services using their specially curated playlists. A quick search is all you need to find someone receiving a divinatory reading via song lyrics, meanings, and vibes. And it seems to work -- sellers on Etsy boast hundreds of positive reviews. Some even offer playlist curation services for personal shufflemancy or messages from deities and/or spirits.

It all begs the question, how does shufflemancy work?

Shufflemancy Methodology

Finding this is significantly easier than pinning down the history of shufflemancy. This post from Tumblr user orriculum, sums it up fairly well. So does this one by the-daily-diviner.

To do shufflemancy, the basic steps are:

Create or find a playlist of songs. A large collection seems to be the most favorable option for a wide spread of possibilities.

Ask a question. Divination 101 -- figure out what you want to know and ask it. Simple enough.

Pick a number. Choose any number and shuffle that many times or skip that many songs.

Listen to the song. Write down lyrics that stick out, messages that come through, and anything else that seems relevant (genre, tempo, vibe, etc.)

Interpret. Take the information gathered during the song and use it to draw conclusions, just like any other form of divination.

Simple enough. Shufflemancy is the sort of method that requires a high level of intuitive thinking. It's very mutable and suits a good amount of personalization.

This is both good and bad, I think. It would be incredibly easy to create a bias in your shufflemancy playlists by selecting songs with primarily one genre, artist, album, emotion, or through-line. The ideal playlist really does have a wide variety of music, and this means selecting songs that the shufflemancer doesn't necessarily like. We all have a genre or artist we hate; excluding an entire genre skews results. Impartial selections of music are critical to the success of good divination. Otherwise, we risk interfering with the outcome.

And speaking of interfering...

The Algorithm Problem

(Note: I'm focusing in on Spotify since it's very commonly used and because it's accessible to me. Shufflemancy can be (and is!) done with plenty of other apps like Apple Music.)

When Spotify was originally launched, it used a version of the Fisher-Yates Shuffle to perform its shuffling of music. In essence, this algorithm takes a finite sequence of data, picks an option from that selection of data, and removes it from the pool. Then, it picks another and another until no more options remain.

At first glance, this seems great! It creates a fairly random output. But as is the nature of randomness, there were clusters. The same artist would play four or five times in a row from a large playlist, and Spotify users complained. It was random, but it didn't feel that way.

The human brain is wired to find connections and patterns. When the same artist plays over and over again despite a playlist being on shuffle mode, it creates a pattern that the brain recognizes. Therefore, the "true" randomness of clustering outputs was unsatisfactory.

So, in 2014, Spotify updated it. Their new algorithm would detect and remember the song it just played and, in shuffling, account for the artist and album to provide a more random-feeling result. The new algorithm detects what's already played and selects accordingly to prevent the same artist from playing twice in a row, just as it prevents the same song from playing twice. It spreads artists out evenly (though not perfectly, to maintain the illusion of randomness) to provide an enhanced listening experience.

What does this mean for shufflemancy, then? If Spotify's algorithm is interfering in the output provided from a playlist, does that mean it's not a reliable form of divination?

At first, I wasn't so sure. I adjusted my thinking -- if a tarot app was preventing certain cards from being drawn (or from being drawn in a particular order) because I'd already drawn them that day or week, would that render the app unreliable? And the answer was yes. It would! It removes the random element from the method, therefore making it not true divination by my definition.

So shufflemancy with Spotify isn't (good) divination, then. Right?

My Opinion & Theory

In thinking about this further, I think it comes down to personal opinion. People certainly have success with shufflemancy via Spotify, or else they wouldn't do it. They definitely wouldn't offer their services (free or otherwise) if they weren't confident in the results it provides.

Thinking that way, I believe there's a way to off-set the algorithm's interference. With enough songs in a playlist, the random element is enhanced despite the algorithm. Not by having the same song multiple times (Spotify would surely detect this and prevent it from playing), but perhaps the same song covered by different artists. Songs with the same vibe, the same meaning, similar lyrics... AND songs from a wide variety of artists and genres, regardless of whether the shufflemancer likes the songs or not.

The person with that 600+ hour playlist for shufflemancy has it right, I think. That's the key. Variety and volume to make up for Spotify's algorithmic shuffler.

Additionally, in listening to my many, many Spotify playlists, I noticed something. If I'm listening to a playlist on shuffle and decide I want a specific song, I can choose to play it immediately. Afterwards, songs I've already heard might play. It seems as though doing this resets the shuffling algorithm in some way. Doing this in combination with a large and varied playlist might be the key to making shufflemancy in Spotify truly, fully reliable.

My Next Steps

Obviously, scholarly research only goes so far in situations like this. In order to properly gauge the accuracy of shufflemancy, I'll have to do it myself.

First, I'll need a playlist. I have a handful of playlists that sit in the hundred-hour range, but they're curated with friends for specific vibes. They're not really suitable for shufflemancy. So making one for myself is step one. I'll use premade playlists as a springboard for ideas, but the end result will be my own. For transparency, I'll make the playlist public and share it as part of the next edition in this series of posts.

The next step is to just... do it. Do the divinations, and do them regularly. Instead of a daily tarot card, I'll do a daily shuffle. I'll form "spreads" and put together a more in-depth methodology that fits my style as it develops.

Then, finally, maybe public ones? For reviews and feedback, obviously. It's one thing to do divination for myself -- confirmation bias and all -- but to do it for others and to be open for immediate feedback is entirely different.

Last, it's a matter of compiling my findings into a coherent document. Easier said than done, but done it must be.

Resources

I pulled from a lot of places for this one. Massive thanks to the Crossroads Discord for listening to me yell about divination for the last several weeks. It will continue.

In any case, here are all the resources I referenced for this leg of research:

Wikipedia - The Fisher-Yates Shuffle

Wikipedia - Methods of Divination

Wikipedia - The iPod Shuffle

PopSci - History of Shuffling Music

Engineering at Spotify - How to Shuffle?

The Verge - The Mixed-Up History of the Shuffle Button

Auntie PanPan (YouTube) - Shufflemancy - What IS It?!?

Halfbakery - Shufflemancy Idea Post

Fox and Faith Wordpress - Radio Divination and Intentional Living in Your Day to Day

Scientific American - How Randomness Rules Our World and Why We Cannot See It

PC World - The CD Player Turns 30

Make Use Of - How Spotify's Shuffle Feature Really Works

Orriculum on Tumblr - Post on shufflemancy technique

The-Daily-Divinre on Tumblr - Post on shufflemancy technique

Empirical Zeal - What Does Randomness Look Like?

[jamesgraybooksellerworld]

Some serious considerations on marriage. Wherein (by way of caution and advice to a friend) its nature, ends, events, concomitant accidents, &c. are examined. Conjugium Conjurgium

Seymar, William. (William Seymar is a pseudonymous anagram for William Ramsey.) Cf. Halkett and Laing Conjugium conjurgium: or, some serious considerations on marriage. Wherein (by way of caution and advice to a friend) its nature, ends, events, concomitant accidents, &c. are examined. By William Seymar Esquire. London: printed for John Amery at the Peacock over against St. Dunstan’s Church in…

[jasper-book-stash]

November 2024 Reading Wrap-Up

This month's five books were surprisingly good overall. Nothing under a 5/10, so I don't have any major bitching to do! In fact, I have nice things to say about every book!

Religious Text

None applicable.

1/10 - Why Did They Publish This?

None applicable (thank the gods).

2/10 - Trash

None applicable.

3/10 - Meh

None applicable.

4 to 6/10 - Mid-Tier

Dearest: A Novel | Jacquie Walters

I read this entire book. And by the end, I have come out with literally no opinion about it. It's so fucking weird for me to have 0 thoughts about a book, especially when it falls in my horror/thriller/mystery category.

7 to 8/10 - Good With Caveats

Minecraft: The Survivors’ Book Of Secrets | Stephanie Milton, Joe McLaren

I decided to reread this just for fun because I've been in a strange Minecraft mood as of late. I still quite enjoy the advice, but the caveat to enjoying this one is to know that it came out early in Minecraft's existence, so naturally it doesn't have a lot of the most updated stuff. It plays a bit into my own nostalgia...and actually playing the game on my 3DS, which I have been told is objectively the worst way to play this game.

9/10 - Very Very Good

Feng Shui Modern | Cliff Tan, Dura Lee

This one was recommended to me by friends who watch Cliff Tan's videos on YouTube (his channel is Dear Modern) and picked up the book, so I checked it out from the library to get a look at it. Learning about Feng Shui from, you know, someone who actually practices it instead of from a White Woman Appropriation source was quite refreshing. It was so good that I decided to buy my own copy of the book.

10/10 - Unironically Recommend To Everyone

Braiding Sweetgrass For Young Adults: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge, And The Teachings Of Plants | Robin Wall Kimmerer, Monique Gray Smith, Nicole Neidhardt

The original Braiding Sweetgrass was fan-fucking-tastic (it was one of my favorite books overall for 2023) and the YA adaptation that Monique adapted and Nicole illustrated with Robin's permission was just as good. The illustrations really add to each section.

Gender Queer: A Memoir | Maia Kobabe

This book was actually recommended to me several times, but it wasn't until one of the ladies in my IRL bookclub read and recommended it that it truly piqued my interest. I finally checked it out to read and... Honestly, I've never felt more seen or understood. The author's experiences were so close to my own that it truly felt like e understood me. It was nice to finally see my own experiences reflected in something.

[moghedien]

Silly but serious question. If someone were interested in WOT due to your posts about it/the Forsaken, do you think that person would probably enjoy the books? Assuming that person already enjoys fantasy and all the usual bells and whistles.

Its hard for me to say definitely without knowing you or your personal tastes and whatnot. I am one that won't just blanket recommend wheel of time. It's my favorite book series, but its also like 4 million words long so I know that its not gonna be most people's thing, ya know?

If you're already interested though, I don't really see a reason not to try the books, so long as you're aware of its length and the fact that the overarching story can take a bit to get into. It's also got some dated tropes and things that will seem unoriginal and overused (partially because it is, partially because a lot of modern fantasy is inspired by WoT). Its a product of its time and the author had hangups. It came out over 30 years ago and all that. I dont' think its as bad as some people make it out to be though. I've read some "progressive" fantasy from around the same time period that I think handles some issues waaaaaay worse than WoT. but you know, just be aware that things in it aren't perfect.

Also if you're specifically interested in the Forsaken, there is a whole lot of Forsaken nonsense throughout the series, but it does take a few books to really get into that aspect. You see some of it in the first books, but it doesn't really get going until a few books in.

If you haven't watched the TV show, you might get some more immediate forsaken gratification there,, but the show hasn't gotten to the point where they really start being a thing yet either (next season tho!) so there's that to consider. it just makes certain ones more present and in your face than the early books, which I do enjoy.

Basically, my answer is just: idk but it doesn't hurt to try the books. Just know that the first book is kinda intentionally formulaic and meant to resemble other fantasy series, but it sheds that by book 2 and sort of becomes the Wheel of Time in book 4 imo

If you're gonna read the books, start with book 1, not the prequel. You can read the prequel after book 5 but probably better placed after book 10 when it was published (in my opinion). If you've watched the show, you can read the prequel whenever you want though. If you wanna read the books before the show, read through book 3 before doing so

and just a word of warning/advice if you are going to read the books, which will contradict itself but listen: do not go looking at "new reader" advice from fans. Even well meaning book fans have this bad habit about "warning" new fans about certain things in the series which has a tendency to dishearten new fans and shade their opinions in negative ways. I'm not talking about content warning or things that a reader might need to know about for mental health or comfort reasons. I'm talking about books fans trying to warn people about the "boring" and "bad" parts of the series. I've done this in the past and I've always regretted it, and people that aren't warned ahead of time tend to have a better reading experience. Just don't go listening to fans

and also never ever ever ever google any characters name, I am being dead serious, everything about the series will be spoiled for you that way its happened to all of us learn from our mistakes. Like literally would rather gets asks with random questions about characters than for someone google a character's name

[utilitycaster]

What are some of your favourite podcasts / podcast recs?

It's hard to pick a favorite though I will say at the moment Midst is the one I think I look forward to the most, so I'm just going to go through basically all podcasts I currently or relatively recently previously listened to and sort them by rough genre. Note that as with all recommendation requests it helps to know the vibe of what you're going for and what's important to you (I know I just was like hey I'll take most music recs but the commitment for music is like the length of a song, whereas podcasts/books/movies/tv are a bit more time put in)

Actual Play:

Longtime listener of NADDPod and TAZ which I'm guessing if you follow me you are broadly aware of but if not feel free to ask more; I also post about Worlds Beyond Number enough that you might know what it is. I checked out Burnt Cookbook party a while ago both because I liked Jenna Stoeber's work with Polygon and because someone asked me for Actual Play podcast-only recs with more than one woman or nb player that weren't RQG and I was like oh I should find some. Anyway it's quite good! it's definitely lower production values than bigger podcasts but the plot is highly original and really good, the vibes are fantastic, the characters are a lot of fun, and all in all worth checking out. I also do listen to the Re-Slayer's Take which I've really enjoyed! Everyone's good but while I was familiar with (and a fan of) Jasmine Bhullar and Jasper William Cartwright's work, Jasmine Chiong as Farah speaks to the Grouchy Old Hunter Woman fan in me and has been a personal standout. It is very heavily edited, which does take some getting used to. Also, I mentioned RQG (Rusty Quill Gaming). It comes with the caveat of "very good but slow to start and then doesn't really stick the landing, imo, though the epilogues help" but I can recommend with that warning.

Scripted Fiction

Camlann. Modern post-apocalyptic Arthuriana/Folklore of the British Isles, with some hints of other folklore as well. 1 season; hoping they get funding for a second because it was very well done and also I want Gwen and Morgan to kiss.

Midst. Hard to describe but if you follow me you've seen a lot of posts that might help. Extremely good! About to finish in a bit over a week's time! Check it out and I advice you check out the first 3 episodes at once to get a feel for it; the three-narrator thing is also "get used to it and it will be fine".

The Penumbra Podcast. Originally envisioned as an anthology podcast but then two specific settings (noir-y space opera and medieval court monster hunters) were very popular. Also nearing its end.

The Silt Verses. Quite literally everything on this list would be described as "New Weird" and "has queer characters" and this is maybe the New Weirdest. Anyway, set in a world where gods are real, require human sacrifice to live, and society is both very complicit and also uses the gods to sell shit. I think people who are mad about D20 or CR not being explicitly political enough should listen to it. Extremely good. Also in its endgame, but they've had a very drawn out schedule as of late.

Welcome to Night Vale. You are on Tumblr; presumably you know the drill. I can't say I'm like...super following what happens but it's one of those things that's been a constant in my life for over a decade and takes up a very pleasant hour-ish per month. This feels like damning with faint praise but the earlier stuff was great and it's still strong, it's just, you know, the inevitable slowness of an indefinitely long slice-of-life-ish show vs. the more plot-driven ones above.

Within the Wires. By one of the Night Vale Creators. I have a post about it but it's set on an alternate history Earth where a cataclysmic war/plague/various other bad things absolutely destroyed the population in the early 1900s, leading to a very different global society. Some people say the seasons are very uneven in quality. They are incorrect. The seasons follow different people and all are in the form of found audio, so they are all quite different, but it's entirely a matter of personal preference if you like a season or not; it's not that some are Objectively Better.

Wolf 359 finished a long time back and I haven't relistened since my original listen in like...2018, but of "podcasts that have finished" it's worth it. Weird space stuff.

Informative(?)

Home Cooking by Hrishikesh Hirway and Samin Nosrat; was a pandemic project that now only airs yearly, really, but worth checking out if you like cooking.

I found out about Home Cooking via Song Exploder, which is just Hrishikesh Hirway talking about songs. Great podcast; the editing is fascinating and I have found a lot of good music from it!

I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats. Has only two seasons but they are both very good if you like The Mountain Goats as a band.

No Such Thing as a Fish: the QI (British quiz show) (if you're British you know this better than I do) researches talk about weird facts and riff on them.

Sawbones: Justin McElroy and his wife Dr. Sydnee Smirl McElroy talk about weird medical history and dumb wellness trends on tiktok. This is one of the earliest podcasts I subscribed to back when I did not drive nearly as much.

The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green. Has also completed and there's a book that's basically covering the same ground. It's not like, purely informative; it's very anecdotal (as is I Only Listen to the Mountain Goats) but I learned a lot from it.

Honorable mention: I just didn't have the time or energy to keep up with Ologies by Alie Ward but what I listened to was fun and interesting and my sibling is a big fan.

Comedy and Miscellany:

Beef and Dairy Network: also British, on the Max Fun network with the McElroys. Fucking weird. I debated putting this in the scripted fiction because it's basically "what if Welcome to Night Vale was a little less story focused but still had throughlines and was specifically about the cattle industry in some absurdist alternate version of our world" but stuck with comedy bc the absurdity outstrips the plot. It's weird!

My Brother, My Brother, and Me: you probably know this one; either you love it or you don't.

My Dad Wrote a Porno: also British and from what I understand a bigger deal over there. Has uh. reached completion, in that they decided they were done, but the books apparently go on (sorry Rocky I'm not buying them). A guy and his two good friends read and roast his father's self-published erotica e-books about Belinda Blumenthal, Pots and Pans saleswoman, ft. bad accents, corporate espionage, and, of course, The Duchess.

The Empty Bowl: Justin McElroy and Dan Goubert of Cerealously's ASMR podcast about cereal. legitimately has helped me calm down when anxious at night. I am not even a big cereal eater it's just entertaining and chill.

Anyway any other podcasts I have listened to I've either forgotten, weren't good enough to recommend, just disappeared without any conclusion [*cough* king falls am] or involve way more reservations than I am willing to go into without knowing more about what you are looking for.

[cathedralcomic]

sorry if this is too broad of a question - can you tell me a little bit about how you go about planning all this? i struggle so much with figuring out a theme and worldbuilding when i try to write. i never know where to even start. i really admire what you have going here, i dont know how to explain it but it feels so special. ur really talented and i cant wait to hear more ab cathedral :3

first off thank you SO much!

theme and worldbuilding had definitely been a struggle early on, and sometimes only time will build them for you. i’ve worked on this story for… a while, its modern incarnation going back to 2018 while its first is from 2013. i know that timeframe sounds daunting and a little ridiculous to some writers, but maybe you haven’t given your stories space to breathe and grow organically. using inspiration from your favorite movies/books/tv shows/etc. is also huge. cathedral wouldn’t be what it is today without my inspirations. and obviously listening to seasoned writers explain their process or offer advice helps. i’ve listened to so many podcasts and tedtalks and video essays over the years about creative writing, i even watched a few masterclasses. you won’t enjoy all of them but it’s good to hear multiple perspectives.

buuuut try not to get caught in a loop of always learning and never writing, pair the two throughout your journey. + puhleeeease write a guide for yourself. it is so crucial for planning/keeping track of everything. it doesn’t have to be fancy, just throw all your ideas and character/world notes into a google doc so you can readily access them. don’t be erin hunter make a story bible (new shirt idea)