#(see the ‘cowardice’ ideas)

[eye-of-the-hawk]

“Yes. Stole my own hypothesis and turned it against me.”

“Fascinating. I’d love to meet her.”

“… Ah. So you’re just like her here, aren’t you?”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

“*Sigh…* unfortunately, you’ve already made it quite obvious.”

[gai-sucks-titties-in-my-basement]

Gai saw a man burn alive and longed to be engulfed in the same flames. His idea of heroism was tainted from the start, a sacrifice of self to power, so much power you die. Anything less is not good enough. He has never valued his life as anything other than his status and name. He wanted nothing more than to burn after he released the 8th gate. He was kept alive as punishment for his ego, Maito Gai needed to learn how to live life as a human being.

[dctrfate]

the master and margarita book that made me open thirty thousand wikipedia articles about christian scripture and had a cat with a gun and was one of the best commentaries on art i've ever read so what more can i ask for really

[malkaleh]

One of the things that I have really worked on in writing the OT3 verse (honestly my success probably varies!) is okay no they absolutely do not have modern therapeutic or trauma concepts/terminology but also people in the past did have ideas of trauma and :hands because I’m not sure of the wording here: methods/ideas about coping.

(And listen some of those ideas did include things like ‘alcohol/violence etc’ but it I think one thing I have thought about is just like today there was a whole range. But they would not he using modern terms/framework about it)

[homophyte]

mmhhgm 2 AM thinking about HRT…………..perhaps my urgency is influenced by the belief that my transness only becomes acceptable after certain parameters are met and that it is in some way inappropriate to present myself as a trans person while being pretransition . something radical about the exposure of the whole process instead of being one of those instagram transes who pop into existence 7 years on T and post top surgery

[2bcringe]

Sherjeb is toxic yaoi. To me

[imastoryteller]

19 Most Common Character Flaws in Horror Fiction

Curiosity: Characters who are overly curious may investigate dangerous situations or places, leading to their downfall.

Arrogance: Arrogant characters may underestimate threats or refuse to heed warnings, putting themselves in danger.

Recklessness: Characters who act impulsively or without considering the consequences may find themselves in perilous situations.

Naivety: Naive characters may be easily deceived or manipulated by villains or supernatural forces.

Overconfidence: Overconfident characters may believe they can handle any situation, leading them to take unnecessary risks.

Stubbornness: Stubborn characters may refuse to listen to advice or change their course of action, even when it's clear they're in danger.

Greed: Greedy characters may prioritize personal gain over safety, leading them to make unethical or dangerous choices.

Distrust: Characters who are overly distrustful may alienate allies or miss crucial information, making them more vulnerable.

Cowardice: Cowardly characters may abandon others in dangerous situations or fail to confront threats when necessary.

Impulsiveness: Impulsive characters may act without thinking, leading to mistakes or putting themselves in harm's way.

Lack of Empathy: Characters who lack empathy may disregard the well-being of others, making them more susceptible to manipulation or isolation.

Overprotectiveness: Overprotective characters may prioritize the safety of loved ones to the detriment of their own safety or the safety of others.

Addiction: Characters who are addicted to substances or behaviors may make irrational decisions or be more easily controlled by external forces.

Obsession: Characters who are obsessed with a goal or idea may pursue it at any cost, even endangering themselves or others.

Paranoia: Paranoid characters may see threats where none exist, leading them to take extreme measures or isolate themselves unnecessarily.

Lack of Self-awareness: Characters who lack self-awareness may fail to recognize their own limitations or the impact of their actions on others.

Insecurity: Insecure characters may doubt their own abilities or judgment, making them more susceptible to manipulation or self-destructive behavior.

Ignorance: Characters who are ignorant of the true nature of the threats around them may underestimate their danger or fail to take necessary precautions.

Desperation: Characters who are desperate may make rash decisions or ally themselves with dangerous individuals or entities in hopes of achieving their goals.

[slaytheusurper]

⭑ This is more than a sick love story (Pt.2) ⭑

Masterlist

Part 2 to; "The ballad of the raven and the dragon, Part 1.

Pairing: Benjicot ("Davos") Blackwood x targ!princess!reader

Summary: Returning home after that evening was harder than you thought, the risky letters don't help either. Would it really hurt to meet again?

Warnings: NSFW, mdni, +18, heavy yearning, sexting in medieval times, mastrubation, pillow humping, making out, grinding, handjob, oral both m and f receiving. And some fluff <3.

Word count: 3k

POV: Benjicot Blackwood

A mixture of iron and salt coats his tongue, the clashing of swords and screaming of men fills his ears. Yet another man's blood spraying over his face and garbs. House Bracken wanted revenge for their fallen men and when they heard of the princesses departure they made their move. Even Benjicot could taste the cowardice in their blood. At this point the battle could barely be called a battle anymore as house Bracken had already suffered heavy losses. 

Benjicot couldn’t even keep up with the amount of Brackens he killed now, mind in a blur due to the adrenaline and violence. Even the cows didn’t survive. His men killed the remaining of the intruders and the battle was clearly won by house Blackwood. It had only been a week after the princess left and already his heart had a gaping hole which only could be filled by her. She promised she would write secretly, using ravens that would only ever make their way to him. 

The sun began to set as they left the sea of bodies behind them, making their way back to Raventree Hall. Upon arrival the gods had clearly answered his prayers because just when he got off his horse and handed him to one of the stable boys a raven flew towards him. Quickly taking the letter he made his way to his only place of privacy, and just like everyday he passed the dining hall. His cock stiffens every time he’s in or passes that room now, memories of the intimacy he shared with the princess flooding his mind. He finally got to his bedchamber and locked the door behind him once inside. Benjicot didn’t even bother to clean himself first, he ripped the unmarked seal off the letter and rolled it open.

Dear B,

I hope you are well, I wrote this as soon as I got home but I suppose the raven will take a bit to get back to you. The whole way back I couldn’t stop thinking about your handsome face, or your hands tracing my body. You are and will be on my mind until I get to see you again, however the idea of maybe never meeting you again strikes fear into my heart. I never thought that that one evening with you would change me so. I was too afraid to tell you this in person but you are the most fearsome, handsome and astounding man I have ever met. We have to meet again, I would not survive without your touch. Even thinking about that evening now sets my chest aflutter and my thighs soaking. You don’t even understand how badly I need you again. I hope you think of me as well. I hope you use my chemise every night to get off to the thought of me. I have thought long and hard about a place we could meet. I think the Whispering Wood is perfect, it is near enough for you to sneak out to and I can easily hide my dragon along the coast of Iron Man Bay. I hope you write back to me soon. 

Love, your pretty princess.

His mouth was still agape when there was a knock on his door. “My lord shall I draw a bath for you?” He could hear one of his servants' muffled voice. He rapidly stuffed the letter in his pocket, opened the door and let the servant do her work. Once the bath was drawn he dismissed the servant, he always washed himself since he never liked people just watching him be naked. With the door closing he removed the letter from his pocket and smelled. And like he suspected it smelt of ink, smoke and her perfume oil. Benjicot placed the letter on the small table beside the bath and swiftly removed his clothes. His cock already hard and leaking from reading the letter. 

He got in the warm bath with a sigh, he thought for a moment and grabbed the letter from the table next to him. His eyes scanned the words again and he felt his poor weeping cock begging for attention, so he read the letter once again, now grazing his thumb over the leaking slit on the head of his hard member. A mixture of a hiss and groan leaving his lips, he was so horny he didn’t even care if someone heard him. His eyes never leaving the letter he started to roughly jerk off his cock, the words on the paper relighting the memories of their shameful evening. 

His perverted mind only added fuel to the fire by imagining new scenarios with you, gods he’d fuck you on his bed, on his chair, on the settee, on the floor, against the wall, fuck even in the bath. The last image really spurred him on, moaning at the thought, he put the letter down for a moment to massage his seed filled balls as well as fisting his cock. Softly chanting your name through the room. “Please- please- fuck me- ride me baby just like that- ah fuck- I can’t-” 

Seven Hells even his own dirty little words made the fantasy feel real. Your cunt enveloping his hard sensitive cock, water splashing everywhere as both your moans filled the room. He could feel the familiar knot starting to snap in his belly, he fetched the letter from beside him again, thrusted into his fist a few more times and released ropes of his seed all over your letter. The words blurring as his cum covered them. He panted and shuddered at the sight. 

When Benjicot had calmed down from his orgasm he put the letter aside and now actually washed himself, even after he had dried himself off, had hidden the letter, and crawled into bed he still felt aroused. His cock hardening once again he knew his hand wouldn’t do so he threw the sheets of himself, removed his breeches and grabbed his pillow to position it just like he had you bend over the table. 

He then grabbed his again leaking precum member and positioned it against the pillow, the texture on his angry red tip feeling like pure bliss, he started humping against the pillow wishing it was you on his bed instead. Fucking the pillow harder and harder he decided it was better to release in his hand instead. So with a cuss and loud moan he spurted his cum in his hand imagining it was your cunt he was filling instead. After having cleaned off his hand in a basin, pulling his breeches back on he could finally fall asleep.

The next morning he immediately fetched paper and ink and started on a letter to write you back, when he was pleased with it he sent it by raven and hoped it would fall into your hands. Afterwards getting on with his duties as lord of Raventree Hall. 

Your POV:

A raven flew into the open window of Dragon Stone, the sun had set and you were in your chambers reading a book to your brother Joffrey. It had been two weeks since you sent that letter and you were beginning to get worried but relief washed over you at the sight of the raven. The second the raven landed on your settee you sent Joffrey back to his chambers guided by your handmaiden and told her that she was free for the night. She eyed you suspiciously but has always followed you loyally. When they left you grabbed the letter from the raven which flew away again and opened the unmarked seal, heart beating in your chest, you rolled the letter open.

My dear beloved,

Your raven arrived safely into my hands, I had to open it alone which proved to be needed because of your passionate writing. I am well unless you count the way in which you have plagued my mind. I can’t do any work without thinking, ‘what would my love think of this’ or ‘I wish my love could help me with this’. Seven hells, I can’t even walk in or pass my dining room anymore without my cock growing stiff in my pants. Any thought about you turns sinful, you have perverted me and turned me into a monster. Especially now without your touch. Last night when I read your letter, I read it in my bath. And you know what I did? I fucked my hand imagining it was your sweet cunt instead and when I reached my peak, I came all over your pretty handwriting. Your letter made me so horny I later fucked my pillow in bed too. So it is safe to say I need your touch too. So fucking badly. When you get this letter, try to leave as quickly as possible and head to our location. I will be waiting under the ruse of a solo hunting trip. Don’t make me wait too long my love. 

Love your B.

You went to bed with an uncontrollable smile on your face, your skin hot and folds wet at the thought of seeing your Benji again. The next morning you told one of the servants to inform your mother about your “flight to patrol the sea” so you could actually quickly get dressed and leave on dragon back to the Whispering Wood. The entire flight you thought about how meeting him again would go. High above the clouds your mind floods with impure thoughts of Benjicot Blackwood. When you knew you were about to be close to the shore of Iron Man Islands you still stayed high but descended out of the clouds so you could see. And you were right, no one was in sight when you landed with your dragon on the shore. 

So you began your pretty short walk to the Whispering Wood, nerves and excitement reeling through your body. Your walk through the Whispering Wood was different, anxiety started to take hold instead. What if he wasn’t able to come? What if someone caught you? However your fears began to ease when you could see the back of Benji’s hair and body who was standing near a small lake in the middle of the forest.

You walked as quietly as possible, wanting to surprise him. When you were near him you cupped your hands over his eyes and heard him laugh. He removed your hands and immediately turned around. He wasted no time crashing his lips on yours making you moan at his roughness. After some time he finally let go. “I have-” “I missed-” You both laughed at both of your attempts to speak first. So he started instead. “I am glad you got my letter, I can’t bear being without your touch and your voice any longer.” You smiled and a blush creeped onto your skin. “I couldn’t wait either. I don’t know what type of spell you casted on me but I don’t ever want to get rid of it.” He grinned at your words and took you in his arms once more.

“I don’t know if I can let you leave again. It would be too painful.” He confessed, holding your head against his chest with one hand and holding your waist with the other. “I don’t ever want to leave you again either but I don’t know how I would ever tell my family about this. And in the middle of a dragon war too.” He held you tighter and kissed the top of your head. “What did you tell them when you left?” Benji asked. “I told one of our servants to tell my mother that I went to patrol the seas, so I hope she bought it. I didn’t want to face her today.” You explained, your hands wrapping around him tighter. 

Benji held your chin and made you look at him. He softly licked his lips before devouring yours again like he did mere minutes ago. Except now both of your desires were growing strong. You felt like you were in heat every time he touched you. He kissed you like it was his last day on earth. You had kissed before but this time it was different. Who knew when you would see each other again?

He bit your bottom lip so he could let his tongue enter your mouth. Your feverent kiss turned into a full make out as he sucked and licked your tongue. He couldn’t hold his own groan back and let his hand slide to your ass cheeks, which he gripped harshly to pull you against him just like he did on your special evening. Which earned him a moan from you as you grazed his teeth with your tongue. Never did you think a kiss could turn so ravenous. “Benji-” You gasped against his lips when his hand began to massage your ass harshly. 

Making your two fronts grind against each other, his clothed already hard cock hitting your clothed wet cunt just right. He knew exactly what you liked and would do everything in his power to leave you shaking and trembling beneath his touch. “You want this fucking cock baby? You want it that fucking bad?” He pants against your lips, you could only moan a ‘please’ in response. 

He removed himself from you and helped you remove your clothes, you had never seen him this touch starved. He was truly acting like an animal. Benji got on his knees in front of you and swung your right leg over his shoulder for better access to where you needed him so badly. Your cunt was throbbing and almost hurting from how aroused Ben made you, your slick already coating your inner thighs. Benji held you steady and began to lap at your soaked folds, moaning at the taste of your sweet arousal. 

“Benji- please- I can’t take it-” Your want for him made you more sensitive than normal and all you could think about was how good his tongue was fucking you. It was so warm and wet and the way he used it to lap at your clit made you see stars. He took it a step further and entered a finger into your tight hole. It slipped in with ease and Benji grunted at the feeling, his own cock feeling tight in his breeches.

It didn’t take long for your orgasm to take hold of you, with the way he was fingering you and sucking and lapping at your clit, made you dizzy. You could only let out gasps and moans, your entire vocabulary being thrown out the window. With one last scream of his name he let go off you, already removing his pants and breeches ready to fuck you dumb but to his surprise you stopped him. “I want to do to you what you just did to me Benji.” You pleaded already looking up at him with your lashes. He took in a sharp breath and watched you sink to your knees.

Grabbing his leaking cock by the base you decided to lick up the precum and see how he would react. “Fuck- baby do that again. Don’t stop.” He gasped. You did as he commanded and this time sucked at his tip, resulting in him throwing his head back and moaning out of pleasure. The salty precum on your tongue motivated you to swirl your tongue around his tip and continue sucking. His groans and pants and ramblings of your name filled you with need but first you wanted his seed in your mouth again.

You continued to suck on his tip but now took him further in your mouth, earning you quite the explicit and long moan. Finally he looked down at you and softly held your head by your hair, guiding you a bit deeper. “Seven hells, look at you, swallowing my cock like that- You love it don’t you. Me using you as if your a common wench- Fuck- Just like that baby c’mon-” Him talking to you in such a manner made you reach for your clit, which made Benji smile and pant at the sight. Chasing your own release he helped you by guiding your head faster down his cock. Spit and precum drooling down your chin, hair all messed up. How would you even explain that to your family? 

“C’mon baby- I’m gonna fucking cum- You want my spent down your throat- Of course you do- Yes- Yes- Fuck!” The view of you cumming rubbing your clit finished him. You basically drank his cum as he filled your throat all while he gasped for air and moaned your name. When he pulled back from you, you licked your lips and smiled up at him. Never had you felt such power over a man. It felt way to fucking good. He pulled you back up and kissed you again. “You have no idea what you do to me.” He laughed breathlessly. 

“I think it’s about the same as what you do to me.” You smiled. He kissed your forehead before handing you your clothes again. While you both got dressed that heated, exciting and blissful mood turned quiet and solemn. You both knew you had to get back soon. After you were both dressed he sat down on the ground motioning for you to sit on his lap. You giggled as you joined him on the ground, pushing him back so you could lay on top of him, holding each other close. “I think I love you.” He suddenly blurted out. You looked at him with flushed cheeks and grazed your hand across his, over his lips and through his hair. “I think I love you as well.” He sat back up at your words and kissed you deeply. 

“Please, you can’t leave me.” He begged once he removed his lips from yours. “I don’t want to leave you.” You admitted. “You belong to me. You were made for me. I will destroy the world if that’s what it takes to make you my wife.” He rubbed your cheek with his hand as he spoke. “Come with me to Dragon Stone and ask my mother for my hand. If she for some reason refuses, I’ll cut through our guard myself if I have to, and we could run away.” He smiled at that and both of you agreed that he would ask for your hand.

[comicaurora]

I'm sorry that the terfs made their way onto your blog but it does feel good to see you support trans people. Thank you for that

Always.

I think, charitably, that the discourse going down on that post is an extrapolation and over-focus on one element of the point I was making: that for me, determining with certainty that I was cis was a rather fraught process. I was presented with many alternatives, but underlying their imposition on me was the oddly regressive idea that the things I liked, the principles I valued, the parts of myself I was proud of were not permitted of women. My whole life I got smacked with the background radiation that I couldn't like being strong because women aren't allowed to be stronger than men. I couldn't like being loud and boistrous because women aren't allowed to take up space. I couldn't be a math geek because women aren't smart. It was all deeply regressive misogyny from day one, but I started getting hit with it slathered in a fresh coat of paint - all those assumptions still held to be true, but now there was the out that I could do all those things if I just wasn't a woman.

Concluding that the underlying bioessentialist premise was wrong was very important. Absolutely none of those statements were true, and were only ever maintained by cultural saturation, goalpost-readjustment when they were actively disproven, and the occasional bout of lying with statistics to pretend they weren't just Shit All The Way Down. The core premise that certain things were only permitted of or possible for men was bullshit, and I didn't need to surrender the gender I liked best in order to play in the spaces I wanted to. I could simply exist the way I was already existing. I didn't need anything else.

The misinterpretation is the assumption that this being true of me means this is everybody's relationship with gender. I turned out to be cis, so for me, feeling that holding onto my assigned gender wasn't allowed was distressing - just another invocation of the same bioessentialist bullshit I'd been dealing with since the preschool playground. This is because misgendering is fundamentally denying that a person has the right to express themself the way they want. When aimed at me, it says I'm not performing traditional femininity well enough to deserve my pronouns. The same disrespect is the root of misgendering when aimed at trans people. "Perform your gender to my satisfaction or I will confiscate it."

The problem is, bioessentialism is 100% ingrained into the terf playbook, which is why, for instance, all their shitty talking points about trans athletes eventually boil down to "no woman can ever defeat a man in any contest because we are simply naturally weak and stupid and there is nothing we can do about it" and quite frankly nothing disgusts me more than the defeatist acceptance of the very lie that feminism is dedicated to overcoming. Instead of accepting that the paradigm of bioessentialism is a false dichotomy right from the jump, they embrace and weaponize it against the people whose existence proves the dichotomy is a lie. If gender essentialism is fundamentally false, then it is nobody's fucking business what anybody does with their gender. If the lines don't exist, nobody needs to enforce them. And yet there the terfs go, hunting down people whose lives are none of their business and trying to argue that they represent some great and terrible evil, some downfall of society made flesh, something that makes it totally correct and normal for them to spend so much time thinking about strangers' genitalia. They want this to be a noble crusade so badly they won't even examine what flag they're flying.

I love and support the trans people in my life and will always, always stand on the side of your right to exist, but alongside that, terf rhetoric especially disgusts and infuriates me because it is, at its heart, utter cowardice. The world told them they were weak and stupid and inferior and they fucking believed it. And now they think Fighting The Good Fight For Women means turning around and using the same paradigmatic weapon that hurt them to hurt the people whose existence outside the binary proves the weapon is a lie. They're the same shithead schoolyard bullies who made me believe my entire existence was foundationally wrong for years of my life and I will never, ever side with them or the shitty, cowardly rhetoric that contributed to the loneliest years of my life.

Figure out who you are and do it on purpose. Find the real source of the misery in your life and try fighting that instead of the other crabs in the bucket. Trans rights.

[tootoomanycats]

Hi.

I think it’s a travesty that Gil-Galad has barely a crumb of fanfics or even head canons.

So I’m working on something to add to that sexy, sassy, big boy’s fandom.

I definitely have a type, and it’s men who have their shit together, have goals and a very good sense of self control but are pent up…so I can watch them snap.

This is rough draft, unedited and just thrown down to keep my idea going but dang nabbit, the thirsty folks deserve a drink!

I present the first teaser for *drum roll*

The Plan

Desperation pushed you to find the guest quarters and put distance between the High King and yourself. After what you just did, you can’t look him in the eye, gods you don’t want look yourself in the eye.

Dammit, was that the same door with a potted plant you passed a few minutes ago? You were going in circles, fast pacing, and red faced from embarrassment. He knew, he had to know you were lost and still Gil-Galad followed while offering no help in your escape from him.

“How long shall I expect you to hide away this time? I was under the impression that it was too precious to waste-being as short as it is.” Gil-Galad knew that his words were sharp, their sarcasm laced like a blade with poison. He could feel his pride pulsing like an open wound after what you just did. Emotions raw from weeks of you seesawing both towards and away from him.

“How dare you!” Came your rage in a whispered hiss, spinning on your heels to glare at the tall elf who followed behind so closely.

How dare he?

Gil-Galad could feel his neck heat as the temperance of his frustration grew. He was not the one disillusioned from reality. “I believe the offense is mine to have. For I was not the one to run and cower after you kis-“

“Shush! Don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

Not once in the entirety of his life time, centuries long that it was, has anyone ever dared to ‘shush’ him. His posture straightened, the tips of his ears faintly hued red as frustration turned to insult.

“First you run is cowardice from your own actions, now you not only refuse to acknowledge them but have the gall to shush me?” He glared from where he stood, watching as each word cut through your panic and your eyes shamefully turned to the ground.

Gil-Galad’s pride raged like that of a wounded beast trapped behind the bars of well trained control. Had he not been kind in taking in you and your small group? Housed and feed you, treated the wounded and sick to health, all to see your worries lessen?

He had no expectation of receiving anything in return, other than a thank you for the kindness- which you and your small group had given ample times over. Nor was no expectation to have the fluttering feeling of attraction reciprocated, his only hope was to continue the friendship he enjoyed in your company.

But he did not deserve the inconsistencies of your actions and words. Spinning his minds thoughts and hopes in circles that dizzied and confused. So many times you flirted back, even flirting boldly at him, flustering him. How much he had held self control in his desires to reach out to you, feel the grasp of your hand in his. Even for you lean on him when sitting together.

Just moments ago when you kissed him so tenderly, he had been frozen, his mind trying to confirm what he had hoped for had finally come true. But before he could reciprocate the action, you fled. No more. He could take this no more.

Update post for this story here -----> Update 10/17/24

Update #2 for this story here ----➡️ Update 12/26/24

[bomber-grl]

Sal Fisher Fluff Alphabet!

Pairing(s): Sal Fisher x Gn!Reader

Art Creds (going left to right) ~ @/pinetre3, @/mawny666, (couldn’t find, let me know if you do)

A - Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you)

It really depends on you tbh

Like if you’re an artist or musician-

If you have any talents or skills really, just something you’re passionate about

Then I definitely see that as something he’d adore about you

Especially if you’re constantly portraying such talents and draw him stuff, crochet him anything or give him some sort of trinket or gift relating to your skill

It’s either that or your constant willingness to help out with the paranormal

There aren’t many people who would and regardless if you do so with a face of bravery or cowardice, he’d still greatly appreciate it and admire you for it

A - Attention (how much attention do they want in the relationship?)

I’d assume about a good amount?? I mean you’re dating each other so it’s only natural 😭

You see eachother everyday too and most likely hang out in either of your apartment rooms/ houses

As much as I see him liking the attention I also think he’d like some solitude

Not that your attention doesn’t have him flustered and all giddy

Just something to consider I suppose

Plus he’d probably like to give you all the attention as you’re the center of his affections

B - Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

His favorite part of your body would most likely be your hands

Not for their appearance but because of how often you’d comfort him with them

In school and in class you’d show little affections by intertwining your hands together

When that wasn’t possible you’d link pinkies

At home you used your hand to cradle his face when he revealed it to you-

And you often gently played with his hair with your hands

Now, if you told him you liked a body part of his because of the same reason: the acts of affection done through them, then he’d feel happy you felt the same

But if you also added that you thought this specific body part was hot or attractive then he’d definitely get flustered and laugh awkwardly 😭

Don’t even get him to talk after or he’d probably stutter a bit

B - Boo! (do they scare people? How do they act when scaring you/people?)

Honestly Sal probably gave a few people jump scares when he first started attending school

Half because his prosthetic was unexpected and also because I feel like he just has that energy when standing there 🧍

It was totally unintended too 😭

Poor Sal

Overall I don’t really see Sal as a scaring person type

He’d probably join in if you or Larry did but wouldn’t do much but stand by

If it was a bad idea he’d either lightly discourage it or not say anything and watch it happen

If he did manage to scare you for some reason then he’d feel bad

Especially since it was most likely not on purpose and was only cuz you opened the door and weren’t expecting anyone to be on the other side

B - Beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

Anything really

As I mentioned before it really depends on you and your personality traits/passions

If you’re particularly kind or often defend others then that’s something Sal would admire about you

As well as if you were unapologetically yourself, especially when around someone like Travis

Now when it comes to how he views your beauty it’s difficult to explain

The only way I can is when you’re looking at your friend and can’t help admire how beautiful they are

Maybe that’s just me 😭😅)

But that’s how he’d see you, there isn’t any particular traits but maybe it’s how you look when your thinking or doing what you love

Maybe how you look when the wind blows through your hair, or even when it’s cold out and your nose is visibly cold

Just little things like that

C - Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

Sal doesn’t have much of a preference more often than not

I mean if you want to be big spoon and him little spoon he’s more than happy to cuddle that why and vice versa

Although I do imagine him liking to cuddle by mutual holding

He liked to be close to you and feels especially safe/warm when you’re really close to eachother this way

It’s nice to cuddle with him too, especially during winter although I do see Sal as one of those people that are cold so even if you’re one of them too-

You’re automatically his new heater

Whether you’re aware of it or not 😭

Sal would probably not be too fond of pda but I think it’s likely he’d huddle with you if it’s the colder months

D - Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

Honestly his ideal date would probably just be the two of you hanging out somewhere, anywhere really

Like you two could just be hanging out in his room, order pizza and get snacks and that would be an ideal date in his mind

As long as he gets to spend time with you, really

If you’d rather do something else like go out shopping, go to an actual restaurant and stuff then he’s more than fine to go along

E - Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

Sal is pretty open all around

He’s never been one to shy away from expressing how he feels or be overly self conscious about it

If something is bothering him or just stressing him out he’s likely to communicate that with you

Although he’s pretty open I’d imagine he might not let you know how he’s feeling all the time

Especially if you’re particularly stressed then he wouldn’t want to add onto that stress with something else to worry about: him

Honestly he’d probably realize pretty quickly by being snapped back to reality by you or another factor and realize he should just let you know how he feels

It’s just for the sake of good communication and not ruining your relationship

E - Equal (do they prefer to be more in control or laid-back in the relationship?)

It really depends on you, like many of the other prompts 😭

If you want to be more in control in the relationship then sals more than happy to let you be

Same if you’d want to be laid back

Honestly Sal would probably be more laid back regardless of how you are

As long as you’re both equals and communicate effectively the dynamic you two have isn’t really a concern

F - Future (What are their plans for the future? Do they see themselves getting married, having kids?)

Sal never really thought of marriage, kids or anything of the sort

School wise he only ever thought of graduating, never anything after

When you two start dating and getting closer he might think briefly of marriage but that’s as far as it goes

Anything that happens from then on is not because of his plans but the course of events that just happens to follow

If you two get married that’s something you both ended up deciding is best

F - Forgiving (If they had a fight with their partner(s), how would they apologize? Or would they be petty about it?)

Sal would probably need some space from the whole thing

He isn’t one to get upset or overly angry when arguing, at most it’s just a discussion without any heat

On his part at-least, it depends on you and how you handle it

Especially if you “try” to make him mad, it just makes him feel weirded out and want some space

If you’re upset about something he’ll just want you to communicate that with him

He’ll always listen, as long as you do too

So if he did something that hurt you he’d apologize, he wouldn’t be afraid too and he always will

But he’d appreciate that you do the same when you realize a mistake done on your part

G - Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

Sal is always gifting you little things

Maybe little trinkets he finds or even some cool looking acorns or rocks

Though in his opinion these aren’t even gifts, just something small he does on his part

Gradually his gifts get actual “gifty” in his opinion and he starts giving you things you talk about

Obviously taking note of your likes and interests

If you’re a big gift giver then Sal is one to be appreciative but it might also be uncomfortable for him to accept

Not for any particular reason, just the closer you get and casual it is to gift each other stuff, will he be more accepting

G - Gratitude (how grateful are they to have you? what do they think your relationship is worth in comparison to other things in their life?)

Sal is honestly so grateful and him telling you that he loved you even as friends wasn’t uncommon

He’d always let you know how much you meant to him and still does, though telling you he loved you at the beginning of your relationship obviously meant something more

So he’d fluster and hesitate to say it

Because you’re likely one of his oldest friends since he moved to the apartments in the first place, he’ll likely see you as a huge part of his life

You helped out in more ways than he could’ve asked but I think that comparing what you have to anything else in his life is offensive to him in the sense that the amount he loves things are not on the same level as another

Take what you will from this, maybe it’s his weird way of saying that he loves you

Who knows

G - Gentle (how gentle are they? physically and emotionally)

Sal is literally the gentlest person known to man

He is so kind and attentive that it’s crazy, this of course causes him to somewhat neglect himself and his feelings but that’s a discussion for after this one.

He’ll always be there for you to listen, just make sure to communicate that you’re not in the best mood if you don’t feel like going to a Sal therapy session

Plus, it’s not like it’s all that one sided

We all know how much Sal has through in his life, mixed with the cult, losing his mom, murdering half the apartment residents, and so on so forth in his adult life

Obviously the nightmares that happen depend on what part of his life and your relationship it takes place in, but my point is that you’re there for him just as much as he is there for you

Physically too, at first you would’ve believed him if he told you he was afraid of shattering you

Going purely based off that fact that he acted as though you were glass

Highschool Sal was just that flustered by it and adult Sal isn’t that much different- just faux nonchalant

H - Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

Highschool Sal is filled with immense nervous energy when you try to hold his hand

He isn’t opposed, don’t mistake it for him disliking it, if anything it’s the opposite

He’ll enjoy you trying to hold his hand at any time, even at school

Though depending on your identity and sexuality it might provoke some unseemly comments from the resident closeted gay Travis

Either way, the older you get the more Sal is happy to hold your hand

If you even want to swing your arm and along with that his, he’ll laugh and find it endearing

Might even play along too, you can always hold his hand

That much is obvious

H - Hugs (do they like hugs? how often do they do it, and what are they like?)

Sal loves hugs so much but ,again , the younger he is when you start dating the more stiff and unfamiliar he acts

Not that he always is, just that when these acts of affection are done in a romantic context only does he feel flustered

He will eventually be more comfortable, it inevitable. But, even if he’s more towards the awkward beginning stage of your relationship he’ll always hug you back.

Sal will always be open to hugs, he doesn’t really initiate it often because I don’t think that’s his love language

But he is always more than welcoming to affection that you want to give, so it’s more dependent on you

Whether you hug people often or not, that’s how often he will

Excluding you needing to be comforted and when you say goodbye, he always will hug you no exceptions

His hugs are like hugging a pole when you’re in front of others 😭

He’s not too fond of PDA because he’s hyper aware but when he’s not it’s honestly amazing

Especially since cuddling is mostly mutual holding and its just great

I - Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

Sal would be so worried if you were to somehow be harmed and this varies on the state of your injury

Like if it’s just a cut on your hand or something he’ll likely give you a bandaid and do something silly as “kiss it better”

If your injury was more extreme like say a broken bone or an even more grotesque injury- he like anyone, would be concerned (understatement)

He’ll immediately try and help you any way and if this warranted a hospital visit or something then he’d try to be there for you

Because him not being able to do anything for you is inevitable, he would have to stand by and just wait- feeling useless

(Even though doing nothing and letting the professionals is helping you)

I- I love you (how fast would they say ‘i love you’?)

Sal would probably either tell you he loved you immediately or wait for the longest time

Let me explain

During Highschool, Sal is just new to romance and likely as told you that he loved you when you were friends

So, because of a slip up and because of how much affection he held for you, he accidentally slipped up and told you he loved you

You two were probably just chilling in his room hanging out like usual and after that is just pure silence

He slowly looks at you and then what happens next is dependent on how you react

If you tell him you also loved him, with an romantic undertone he’d flush but not argue because believe it or not

He also loves you

Now the next is him waiting a long time, well I lied

There is no world where he’d take a long ass time because he either blurts it out when you’re about to kiss or something, Larry teases him about it and tells you for him (on accident) or something else ensues

Either way if he tried to hold it in he’d probably burst from it

J - Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

Yes yes and yes

Sal isn’t actively trying to pull pranks or harsh jokes

That’s just not how he is, but he will tease and shoot back a playful insult or two depending on you

If you’re the type to push people when you laugh or are just playful then he’ll always go along with it even if it isn’t how he is

Despite this, he occasionally has the mischievous urge to participate in a harmless prank here and there

Nothing more because that’s just not how he is, I really can’t say anything else

J - Jealousy (what makes them jealous? what are they like when they’re jealous?)

Honestly Sal is not really a jealous guy whatsoever

He’s secure in your relationship and is honestly pretty chill

As long as you tell him you’re only into him and only will be then that’s good enough for him

Honestly it’s sort of unnerving

I guess the only instance I can see it is when he’s new to the relationship, even then you guys were likely friends before so why wouldn’t he trust you?

K - Kisses (what are their kisses like? who kissed who first? where do they like to kiss you?how do they like to kiss you?)

Sal could either be the one to initiate your first kiss or not

Leaning to not just because of his hesitance to any affection done in a romantic context

Again, even then he’ll be more than happy to let you kiss him

He isn’t shy to let you know when or if he gets uncomfortable or if you’ve breached his boundaries

The first time you two kissed was likely back in high school

It was done after you two hung with a crowd of your friends and loved ones and finally got time to spend alone

Likely at a park or even in Sals room

You don’t know what possessed you to but maybe it was the already tension filled air that caused you to silently ask Sal before leaning in and kissing him

He’s honestly flushed from head to toe and just stares (?) at you afterwards because of how much he refuses to even test much less trust his voice

It was shocking to him since this was the few times he didn’t have his mask on (in room) and you probably only kissed his cheek with his mask still on

Sals kisses are usually on your cheek or forehead

It’s mostly because that’s a pretty tame and surface level of affection and most times it’s when you’re sleeping or resting on his lap

When you’re in public you hardly have any chance to actually kiss since he has his mask on, so as weird or silly it may seem he’ll let out a small laugh if you kiss him with it on

Mostly just goes with how you like to kiss too, otherwise small pecks on the lips and other places like your cheeks and forehead are for him.

L - Love (how do they show you they love you? What’s their love language?)

Sals love language is definitely somewhere between quality time, gift giving, and words of affirmation

Highschool was the only way you could actively be near each other and Sal loved having classes with you soley because he got to hang out with you

Even then, you guys often hang out outside of school (the whole paranormal cult thing) and by also just having been living in the apartments at the time

That continues even as adults

Also the reason why you ended up moving in with Sal because he wanted to desperately hang out with you but couldn’t because you were unable to due to jobs, higher education, etc

At least this way you’re able to see each other at the beginning and near the end of the day

Sals gifts and also somewhat can be considered acts of service has always been apparent

Even in high school where he’d love to give you little trinkets (as previously mentioned) and would also be more than happy to help you with things

Literally what is Sal doing if he’s not doing something for you to show you he loves you?

And words of affirmation? He’s always just complimenting you

If you’re into handy things like crocheting, art, any hobbies or skills that you have at all

- Sal is absolutely just complimenting you

Without a care too

It all just comes naturally to Sal so when you tell him how loved you feel by him, he doesn’t really get it but is happy regardless

M - Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Lazy and chatty

You’re likely just lazing around in his bed with him and once you both wake up you just talk about whatever

Obviously how it goes is dependent on what you have to do for the day (any jobs or responsibilities) but because of Sals nightmares you two often start your mornings earlier than others

Even lazing around gets somewhat tiring and you two are just some rats scurrying around the house before dawn that Larry and Neil end up bringing up

All just to tease

N - Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

None Sal has no bad traits-

self sacrificial when it comes to you

(Willing to elaborate)

O - Obvious (How obvious do they make it that they like you?)

SUPER OBVIOUS

Literally Sal would be blushing and stuttering around you when he likes you

Larry is always pushing Sal to talk to you and is always teasing him in a friendly and playful way

Not exactly in a covert way either

Ashley and Todd probably know too and so when you’re in class working in groups they’d probably also bring it up to you

Yknow- just in case Sals crush isn’t obvious enough

Make the first move please it’s slowly killing them and Sal

P - Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

Pet names would strike Sal down

The cringe /pos and romantic aspect of it all would be too much

If you want to call him a pet name he’d be fine with it but he’s secretly screaming inside

Even as you two mature in your relationship he’d still be flustered by it but not as much as he was by the beginning

P - Patience (how easily do they get angry?)

He doesn’t get mad whatsoever

The most is getting mildly annoyed or inconvenienced, only when directed towards you

If someone else brings a sensitive topic up or insults you then that’s another thing

Even then he’s eerily calm

Q - Quiet (How are the calm, quiet moments with them?)

The calm, quiet moments with Sal are relaxing

There is no pressure to say anything nor is there any need to

Your presence each other is enough and because of that prolonged silence, usually you two stay that way

He will make sure you’re alright occasionally, depending if you seem thirsty or uncomfortable- just asking if you need anything basically

Otherwise, the need to speak is nonexistent

R - Rhythm (what songs reminds you of them?)

Idk why, don’t ask

Something About You - Eydress & Dent May

Christmas Kids - ROAR

Sweet - Cigarettes after Sex

Pretty Boy - Tv Girl

R - Romance (How romantic are they? What are their go-to ways of being romantic?

Sal isn’t romantic, in his opinion

It’s just how he naturally is towards you, which makes it even better

He’s always willing to do chores for you and gift you stuff

Little ways of showing affection

When he’s trying to actually be romantic he’s pretty nervous about it and his usual way of existence is amplified by like a million

He tries to buy you gifts, set up a fancy dinner, honestly anything that you personally enjoy

He just wants to make sure you feel loved

As long as you do then there’s no need to worry

S - Secrets (how open are they with you?)

He’s really open in the sense that he tells you stuff that he’s ready to share

And doesn’t with the information he’s not ready to

Not that’s he’s purposely hiding things from you

So no, he doesn’t have any secrets, just things about him that takes time for him to open up to you about

S - safe (What makes them feel safe and comfortable around you?)

Just the fact that you’re you

You’re his best friend and significant other

Why wouldn’t he feel comfortable and safe with you? Honestly if anything you’re the one of the few people that he genuinely feels calm around

Just from your presence alone

When he wakes up gasping from a nightmare you’re always there

When he’s feeling a bit on edge when going outside to throw the trash- you’re always there

It’s only natural that he begins to associate safety with you when you’re just always there when he’s feeling not his best

S - Security (how protective are they? how would they protect their s/o?)

He’s pretty protective

Not because he doesn’t think you’re capable of protecting or handling yourself

That’s not the reason at all

You’re his significant other and obviously someone he cares deeply about so it’s only natural he’d worry about you

If you weren’t previously involved with the cult or paranormal then he’d attempt to protect you by separating you from it

We all know it’s in vain

T - Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

Depends on you

It really really does

You two likely got to know each other in highschool and we all know how Sal was back then (romance wise)

So even if his crush on you was painfully obvious, it ultimately depended on you

So it could either be you two getting each other immediately or taking awhile

Have your pick

Please get together asap, it’ll be slowing eating at everyone alive

T - Tend (How do they act when you’re hurt or sick, and vice versa?)

He’d be really attentive

Not the best if he’s still a teen since the only times he can see you is by going to your living space

As an adult he significantly improves and would bring you water, cook, and just be there for anything you need

A bonus is that he thinks your still cute even if you look like shit

When he’s sick he doesn’t expect you to focus a lot on him

I mean Larry probably would drop in and bring him stuff like medicine if you didn’t so it wouldn’t be that serious

But if you’re constantly on top of stuff like doing his chores and keeping track of his personal and like social (school, job) stuff then he feels really happy (for the lack of a better word)

T - Tease (how do they tease you?)

He does it unknowingly

It’d probably be an attempt at flirting but end up just with him teasing you

Not that it’s a bad thing or anything because even then he doesn’t do it with bad intentions

Or with any intentions at all

U - Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

He brings it up and asks you about it

If you prefer to be given space then he’d be happy to oblige

The same can be said for if you want to be held or bundled up together in his room

It really depends on you because he’s more than happy to respect your boundaries

U - Ugly (what are some bad habits of theirs?)

Can’t really think of any in particular, let me know if you can

V - Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

Sal is proud of many things but not in a flaunty way

He’s pretty humble about his own accomplishments and the most he’d “flaunt” something he did would be just showing off the fact that he beat Larry’s high score on a game or something

Even then it’s only because of the playful and unserious nature of the situation

When it comes to you he’s not really one to show you off either

He’d be proud of you and everything you do

Especially if you have hobbies and skills that you’re passionate about

He just thinks that because your skill is so obvious, it’s only natural that everyone immediately knows

No point in showing off it it’s a well known fact

V - Vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?)

Sal isn’t too concerned with his looks in the sense that looks are everything and he’s overly cautious of how he looks

He does like to look nice at least and achieves that on the minimum

Overall he doesn’t think about it much besides dressing how he wants to express himself

Otherwise I have nothing else to say

W - Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

Because of the cult and paranormal, fighting becomes essential at one point and no longer a choice

Even if he felt like you shouldn’t fight, it wouldn’t matter once your faced with the horrors you need to overcome

Plus, he trusts you enough and knows that you’re well aware of your capabilities

Sal would both fight for you and beside you

He’ll always be there to protect you and seeing as you’re willing to fight the cult, then you’re also always there to protect him

Even then he’d worry for you, and you him

Which he for some reason is shocked by

W - Wild card (random relationship headcanon!)

Not liking Gizmo is a huge deal breaker

And not liking his friends or willing to be around them to some extent is one too

X - X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

He’s able to read you eerily well

He’ll always be able to tell how you’re feeling and especially if you’re upset

Which helps him be his caring self and help you out

The same goes for him, he’s so obvious when he’s upset or feeling a negative emotion

It’s written all over his face and oddly silent self

He’s so oblivious to the fact that its obvious that he’s surprised that you notice 😭

X - XO (How do they show you affection? How much PDA are they willing to show?)

Sal shows you affection in the obvious ways

He hugs you, cuddles you, kisses you, etc etc

He isn’t one to shy away when giving you affection but he does get a bit flustered, that doesn’t deter him either way

When it comes to pda Sal isn’t exactly jumping at the opportunity to be making out 💀

He isn’t one of those people and most certainly doesn’t want to be that overly affectionate couple that’s outright gross

He will hug you and hold your hand but that’s really it

He feels a bit awkward otherwise 😭

When you guys were in highschool you’d hold pinkies rather than hands at most snd occasionally hug in public

Kissing was too much for Sal at the time

Y - Yearn (What do they do when they miss you?)

When Sal is missing you he spends a good amount of time looking at stuff you’ve given him (necklaces, drawings, etc)

If it’s easily accessible then he’d probably chill in your room for a good while before doing something else

Other than that it’s mostly in how he’s feeling

Especially if you’ve built a routine with him then he feels especially sad and misses you

Once you return from a trip or simple outing he’d let you know how he missed you

Z- Zzz (How do they act when they get sleepy? How is it sleeping in the same bed?)

When sals sleeping he can hold out on sleeping for awhile but then it’s lights out 💀

Don’t ask for anything more and he’ll just knock out if he’s especially tired

Most nights he’s not too tired when he decides to go to bed tho so the occurrence isn’t that often

When sleeping in the same bed as Sal he’s honestly a pretty good sleeper

Even in his sleep he’s considerate and you never have problems sharing blankets or space

The only time either of you would ever fall off would be if your own accords (in which Sal probably has)

I mean most times you’re cuddling so there’s no issues there, especially if it’s cold

The only problem is when it’s summer and it gets hot, otherwise sleeping with Sal is enjoyable.

[liberalsarecool]

Republican men see their cowardice as loyalty.

The cowardice has left them defenseless.

The sense of loyalty to a massive coward like Trump has forever warped and poisoned their idea of masculinity and femininity.

Elect women. End the cowardice.

[bekolxeram]

Everyone decides to be sad about Tommy spending the holidays alone today. I just want to say, I hate you all. Especially @mmso-notlikethat with this post. As payback for making me cry my way into insomnia, I wrote this on my phone instead of sleeping.

By the time he knocks on the door, Tommy still has no idea what to expect. “Wear something nice, we’re celebrating tonight,” that’s the only instruction he’s received from Evan, his boyfriend once again. Tommy can’t help but smile at the mere thought of finally allowing himself to say that name.

He has a burgundy dress shirt on with a pair of light grey slim fit pants. Simple, but elegant, hopefully properly dressed for this undisclosed commemoration. March is not known for its holidays, so what’s the occasion that calls for such festivity? They did meet last March at the cruise ship rescue, maybe that was it? Or perhaps Evan is having some sort of career advancement? They’ve been back together for just a few weeks, there’s simply not enough time for Tommy to catch up on Evan’s ever so eventful life. To that, Tommy silently mourn the time they’ve lost, due to his own cowardice.

“Hey — Hey,” Evan takes a step outside of the door to greet Tommy with a quick peck on the lips. Tommy lets the younger man drag him into the loft without much reaction, because he’s still confused by the sight in front of him: Evan in his usual navy blue button up, dark jeans and… a Christmas hat?

Inside the loft is a jumble of sparkly festive decorations. To his left, he sees “Happy Birthday Tommy”; to his right, “Merry Christmas”; and deeper into the living space, “Happy New Year”.

“Jee and Mara helped setting these up,” Evan says while taking half of a roast turkey out of the oven. “This one is from Bobby. He said half a bird is enough for the two of us, if we don’t want to suffer through leftover for the next 7 days.” He then sets the tray next to some roasted vegetables and a casserole. “The casserole is from Chimney, but I’m pretty sure it’s Maddie’s recipe. Hen got you a cake. I think she said something about being sure you would like it. We can have it for dessert. Oh, and the champagne is from…”

“Eddie, because he can’t cook.” Tommy cuts in.

“Exactly!”

“Evan, what’s going on here?”

Evan steps closer, taking both of Tommy’s hands into his own, “You told me the other day that you spent your 40th birthday alone… I only realized later that you were probably on your own for the entire holiday season, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s Day. I know it doesn’t come close to the real thing, but I was thinking maybe we could make up for a few key moments that we missed.” He dims the lights in the loft with a remote control and fiddles with something on the dining table. Suddenly, the whole room is lit up with colorful patterns and twinkling stars. “I couldn’t get any firework around here, so I borrowed this star projector from Christopher.”

“Oh… Evan,” Tommy sighs, eyes already hazy with tears.

“I’m not asking you to move in with me or to make major commitments. I’m not asking for anything in return at all. This is… a promise, from me to you. No matter what happens, what becomes of us in the future, I’ll be there when you need me, we all will.”

Evan says earnestly, with utmost conviction in his tone. The clarity in his eyes reminds Tommy of that day at the café terrace, almost a year ago. “I just want you to know, Tommy, you’re no longer alone.”

A few drops of tears escape Tommy’s eyes, but before he can respond, Evan pulls out a mistletoe from his pocket and dangles it over their heads.

“You have to kiss me now.” Evan says with a cheeky grin. Tommy waits no time to capture those smiling lips with his own, kissing him with all the love and gratitude in his heart.

“I love you, Evan. I’m so lucky to have you.” Tommy pulls him into a warm embrace.

“I love you too.” Now it’s Evan’s turn to tear up.

Tommy pulls back a little and asks, “hey, would you mind if we celebrate Valentine’s Day first?”

“Oh, you mean you’re interested in the Valentine’s Night activity?”

“Depends on what you have in mind.”

“Come upstairs. I’ll show you.”

[delfiore]

—LIKE REAL PEOPLE DO.

pairing: leah williamson x reader

synopsis: a collection of private moments from a relationship between two public figures.

word count: 3.4k

warnings: IMPLICIT SMUT

a/n: this fic was proudly sponsored by hozier’s entire discography and my need to get a gf

SEQUEL: DO YOU THINK I HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU?

ONE. As It Was.

As it always was, London was raining when you came home.

The pitter-patter of the rain hitting the window panes reminded you of childhood, when it was autumn and smelled like the earth, and burying yourself in the piles of dry leaves in the backyard was like swimming in the clouds.

The rain reminded you of love and hot cocoa and scented candles.

The apartment was bathed in an orange hue from the three candles placed neatly on the coffee table when you dragged your suitcase inside. You could still hear the rain when you saw the way her eyes lit up and felt her heart pressed against yours.

You let yourself smile like it was the easiest thing in the world; because it was. You were home because you were with her.

TWO. Eat Your Young.

“Babe! What d’you want for dinner?” You heard her call from the living room.

You had just finished a chapter from your book. “Eh . . . pasta?”

“We already had pasta last night, love.”

“More pasta?” You smiled sheepishly, seeing the way she rolled her eyes but went along with your idea.

To her, there was never anything she could have the heart to deny you from, especially now that she had you back after having lent you to your work for so long.

You were supposed to be halfway across the world filming your new movie. It was only because of the writer’s strike, an unforeseen event, that gave you back to her. You had flown back from a shoot to be there for her in the days after she ruptured her ACL and when she had her surgery, but she found herself missing you the moment you left for work again.

Music played softly from the speaker on the kitchen counter as you chopped the cherry tomatoes while she boiled the noodles since that was the only thing you were okay with her doing without burning the entire building down.

“Remember to let the water boil first,” you said without turning around.

“I did,” she whined, her words trailing longer than necessary if she was telling the truth.

You stopped chopping and glanced behind your shoulder with a deadpan. “Leah.”

The water was clearly not bubbling, and yet the poor rigatoni noodles were already dunked in the pot.

“I’m sorry, I forgot again,” the girl smiled sheepishly.

You rolled your eyes at her and shook your head as she sidled up behind you with her arms around your waist.

You could never grow tired of being held in her arms like this, the warmth created by her chest pressing up against your back, and the anticipation of her timid kisses against your neck. The knife in your hand had long been set down in fear of injury by your trembling hands. Your footballer always liked to tease you until you had no choice but to submit.

“Am I forgiven?” Her voice was husky in your ear.

You were quick to regain your composure before you turned around. “Depends on if those noodles are edible or not.”

“Or we could just ditch dinner and eat each other instead.”

“Cute,” you grinned and pressed your lips against hers. You heard the slightest whimper when you gathered her bottom lip with your teeth and lightly tugged on it. “Needs some seasoning. Otherwise, good enough.”

“That’s what I meant, obviously.”

In the end, the pasta was long forgotten, and you had to order a pizza instead because, by the time she was done, you could barely walk to the other side of the kitchen.

THREE. I, Carrion (Icarian).

You had always been uncomfortable with silence. It was why you brought your speaker everywhere, why you preferred the city over the countryside, why you always felt the need to fill the silence in a room with conversation where there were other people. To you, silence meant a weapon, a way of waging war without actually doing it—the cowardice of dishonesty. So any chance you had to snuff out a glimpse of it, you did. Most of the time, though, the only war waged was the one you did to yourself in your mind.

But whenever you are with her, none of those threats present themselves. She has made silence enjoyable and something you wish you had learned to appreciate earlier, not fear it.

She had put on a movie for the both of you to watch on the couch. You usually felt the need to provide commentary were you with friends, but you were content with enjoying the movie in silence, occasionally looking over to your blonde lover to admire her on the other end of the couch. Your left leg was currently stretched across the cushions, as Leah gave you a foot massage whilst watching the movie.

Sometimes she didn’t feel real, like it was all a sick and twisted dream waiting to drop you on your head when you wake up. But it never did, because every time you reached for her, she was always there; even when you were timezones apart, she would find a way to be there for you in spirit.

“Babe, watch the movie. I like this one,” she spoke, pulling you out of your thoughts.

“I feel like it should be me giving you a foot massage,” you said, lifting your chin towards her healing knee.

“Nah. You were the one sitting on a 12-hour flight to get back here,” she put pressure in the center of your foot.

With your arm on the backrest, you lifted it to brush the tips of your fingers against her hair, inching closer toward the skin on her neck. She noticed, of course, and sent a cheeky grin your way.

Your lover smiled and laughed like a child does. You loved it whenever she showed her teeth when she smiled, stripping down the front of the stoic and reliable captain of European champions that she had to be. You hated that she always lifted others up, yet put so much pressure on herself. You wished that she would be selfish sometimes, for when you weren’t there to pick up the pieces.

You never fared well, being away from her for long, which was why when she pulled you towards her and closed the distance between the two of you on the couch, you obliged.

“I love you,” she whispered after pressing a slow kiss on your lips.

With a lovesick sigh, you caressed her cheek and repeated her words. You loved the way her blue eyes narrowed watching you when you were so close to her face. The movie was running on the TV, but the only one you wanted to watch was her. You’d have to rewind it later.

FOUR. To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuaraithe).

There was a simplicity in all of it. This aspect of your life that, amidst the chaos and complications and unfairness in the world, was just that. Love. It was simple, it was sweet, it was yours.

It reminded you of a quote you read once: “He is half of my soul, as the poets say.” If anyone asked you why you loved her, you wouldn’t be able to answer. It would simply be that because she was she, and you were you.

Maybe Zeus never intended for soulmates to find each other. He was the one who split them up in the first place because he knew they would be impossible to part if the two halves merged.

She is half of your soul, as the poets say.

There was something so transcending about loving someone, and having it reciprocated. Every part of it; the good, the bad, the ugly. But you wanted all of it. You wanted to experience everything with her, because she was half of your soul, and it was the only way you could ever feel close to whole again before Zeus split you into two.

Your lover was panting quietly on top of you, her golden hair falling over her face like a lion’s mane. Her eyes fluttered close, her lips parted, her skin was hot to the touch. You watched, seeing the slightest shift in her face as she pulled your legs to her chest, the friction of her rocking slowly turning palpable as it fell into a rhythm. You would hold onto her, your fingers pressing down to create temporary craters into her skin, treading lightly, not wanting to disturb her pleasure, like a lone astronaut exploring a rogue planet.

You sighed contentedly hearing her quiet whines, an indication of an impending release. Your lover has never been loud, like she was saving everything she was feeling for you like everything would only be contained in these four walls, only for the both of you to share.

At some point, she had mumbled something and leaned down to flip you on your front. Even while her movements were restricted by her healing knee, she still liked to be as rough as she could, and you liked it, when she was always so sweet and gentle out of bed. It made you feel wanted, the way she pinned you to the bed and pressed herself against you, the way she intertwined your fingers and coaxed you through your high and kissed you until your lips were bruised and pulsating.

She made you feel wanted, even after you both had given each other euphoria, her frantic kisses to your skin always managed to elicit short giggles out of you. You would whisper in her ear after she had rolled over, the bedsheet warm and damp where she lay, holding her lean body close to yours, just like before Zeus had split you in half.

You are half of her soul, as the poets say, and unless a primordial god physically grabbed you by the waist and tore you away from your soulmate, you would stay here, one moment after another, until infinity. After that, you’d wake up the next morning and do it all over again.

FIVE. Wasteland, Baby!

Your lover was a light sleeper. You had discovered that within the first few months of dating. The way she stirred awake was not dissimilar to how a fussy baby wakes up at the slightest of noises. Usually, she would be quite grumpy as well.

Your circadian rhythm looked more like arrhythmia with the jet lag you were experiencing, in addition to the irregular hours you slept due to having to adjust for filming. Which was why you were in the living room, reading, so your tossing and turning wouldn’t disturb her sleep.

Once again, whenever you were with her, the silence didn’t bother you. Not when you were bathed in her scent wearing her sweater and the premise of her resting a room away from you.

It was around two in the morning when you heard the bedroom door open and close, and the sound of quiet feet shuffling on the floor.

“Hey, you. Why are you awake?” You asked gently, extending a hand out to her.

“I woke up to use the bathroom and you weren’t there,” her bottom lip jutted out like it always did when she wanted your attention.

You stifled a giggle and a coo at how adorable a 26-year-old woman could be. “I just thought I’d leave you be since I couldn’t sleep.”

Without prompting, your lover made herself comfortable on the couch and snuggled into your side. “You’re wearing my jumper.”

You continued reading with one hand while the other rested on her head, and stroking it lightly. “Yeah, found it lying around.” You placed a short kiss on her hair.

“I love this, Y/N,” she said, her words nearly unintelligible from mumbling into the fabric of your sweatshirt. “I made a Pinterest board the other day for our future home.”

“Ooh, tell me more.”

“I’d like to live in the countryside somewhere, with like a farm. It’ll be a cottage with vines all over the walls and everything, wooden kitchen set, a sunroom.”

“I can see that,” you said, “what about the city? You ever dreamed of living in New York? Paris? Hong Kong?”

“I’d feel like a fish out of water. I can barely stomach London. You’d been to all those places.”

You have, but nowhere felt like home unless you were with her. You could make a home in Antarctica if she was there with you.

“All of them are overrated anyway.” You hummed. “I like it wherever I’m with you.”

Her nose crinkled whenever you’d say cheesy stuff like that. You never knew how much those words made her heart skip a beat, as she buried her face in your neck.

“I realized as I said it,” you scrunched your face too.

“Working with Wes Anderson made you a sap now, hasn’t it?” She quite enjoyed this side of you. “It’s fine. I like it.”

Sleep found her again shortly after. In the morning, she woke with a sore back, but her heart was full, realizing she had been tangled in your arms all night.

SIX. Swan Upon Leda.

To know pain; the kind of pain that cuts through your flesh and leaves you bleeding dry. A stinging sensation that soon turns into agonizing hellfire and the knowing that there are several more spirals of hell still waiting to make you bleed. It was to witness someone who was half of your soul be in pain whilst you were powerless against the evil, and all you could do was pray that it would spare your soulmate and take you instead.

Your hand clasped around hers like iron chains, rubbing her back soothingly, as if the warmth from the back might manifest in her front and assuage the pain. She lay on the bathroom floor, her breathing slow and hard, like she was grappling with the evil that, by the looks of it, was winning. Clutching the heating pad to her stomach, her only lifeline, she curled away from you and into herself even further.

“Love, let’s move you to the bedroom where you can lay comfortably, yeah?” You asked gently.

She huffed and grunted. “Can’t move. Hurts.”

Your lover, your Lioness, Queen of Europe, falling apart by an invisible evil, immobilizing her like a wounded deer. The coldness of the tiles couldn’t have helped, but she couldn’t move.

Spare her. Give me the pain instead.

You leaned down, lowering yourself slowly to the cold, until you were flat on the floor too. Gently, you pulled her to turn to face you. Your Lioness was clenching her jaw, a vein splitting her forehead from how hard she was trying to pretend it didn’t bother her.

And it stung even more when she let out a choked sob.

Then she said with a trembling sigh, “Don’t want you to see me like this.”

Her face was stained with streaks of silent tears, a sign of the raging battle she had to endure for years finally getting the best of her. But the evil had never seen the best of her; she reserved it all for you.

“Oh, baby.” Your hand came up to cup her face, the frame that held the entire world.

It didn’t matter that your lover was curled up on the bathroom floor, she was still your bravest girl, your strongest soldier, and your fiercest Lioness.

“You’re the strongest person I know,” you said sincerely, “and I’m not leaving you, not now, not ever.”

Your lover beamed tearfully like sunshine in the rain and clung herself onto you.

Young love was the thing of fairytales. You would never claim to have it all figured out, but if what you had wasn’t love, you didn’t know the half of anything.

SEVEN. Like Real People Do.

As serious as your lover made herself out to be, she was the biggest goof on the planet the moment a drop of alcohol entered her system. Never acted out of line, never said anything that she’d regret in the morning, just the rowdiest thing that considered waving her arms in the air while wobbling back and forth dancing. It made a spectacular scene to watch, especially whenever she was with her best friend, whom you had to thank for bringing her into your life.

Even the people in her life who knew her as responsible and trustworthy would be concerned at this entirely different side to her, to which you only waved them off with a laugh, and said, “She’ll be fine.”

She would always be because she always had you to take care of her.

“Water, babe?” She knew to listen to you and chugged the whole thing in one breath.

“Come dance with me?” She offered when the DJ slowed the music.

She looked too good not to, so you took her hand and followed her to the dance floor. Once there, she wrapped her arms around your waist and pressed a kiss on your forehead. “Come closer. You smell so good.”

You laughed. “Creep.”

“This is our song,” she chuckled.

The familiar melody elicited distant memories of shy ‘hello’s and stolen glances, her best friend pushing her towards you, and her keeping your number on the phone all night until she finally gathered the courage to press on it.

It was the first song on every playlist you sent each other, like a stamp, a greeting, a confession.

It was the song that played when it was just the two of you alone after she became her country’s pride and joy.

“I remember,” you said, brushing a strand of her hair back from her blue eyes, dazed ones that looked at you like you held the world in your hands. “I thought you’d be more confident, just from seeing how you are on the pitch. It was very endearing.”

“I was nervous, okay?” She groaned, laughing quietly. “I didn’t wanna embarrass myself in front of a movie star.”

“I’m glad you asked me to dance, even though—”

“I’m shit at dancing, yeah.”

You giggled, and bumped her nose. “I feel so lucky to have you in my life.”

She was swaying you back and forth, humming to the song gently, a far cry from the first time you had asked her to dance, and she panicked and said her legs were made for football and not dancing.

“I’m still shit at dancing,” she chuckled.

“I don’t care,” you shook your head. “I still love you.”

“Even if I’ve got two left feet?”

“Mmhm.”

She grinned and kissed you, inhaling deeply. “I can feel Alex taking pictures of us—Yup, her phone is out and it’s pointing at us. Very subtle, Alex.” You laughed when you turned around to see your lover already flipping the bird at her best friend.

“We do have her to thank for getting us to meet.”

“That’s ‘cause she beat me to it first. I would have found a way to you.”

“You didn’t even know me then, babe.”

“Yeah, but I’d still find my way to you.” She was giggling because you had pulled a face. “What? It’s true.”

Leah loved deeply, and boldly. You made her feel special like she was the only person in the world. You also made her feel ordinary, like she wasn’t the face of a nation and only any other stranger walking down the street. Inside the little bubble you were both in, you were just Leah and Y/N, two people in love.

The song had come to its end, and yet she still hadn’t let you go. Three little words sat on the tip of both of your tongues. You pressed a kiss to her lips first. She kissed you back, on the lips, then on the neck softly.

I love you.

I love you.

What you didn’t know was that she planned to make you a promise of forever, with a ring hidden in a drawer waiting at home.

Simple. Sweet. Ours.

EIGHT. De Selby (Part 1).

“Lee?”

“Hm?”

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

“Mate, honestly like—“

[thatmexisaurusrex]

I think what really gets me is what the show is telling us through that breakup. That's what hurts the most.

It's that a queer person who's sad, who's alone, who's never had a stable family life; a queer person who's only gotten to a point where they're happy with who they are later in life; a queer person who yearns for a family, for love, for being someone's first choice but doesn't believe he can ever have those things; a queer person who has obviously been burned and believes that is the only outcome for him now; that no one would want him as family. That no one would love him enough to choose him first.

He walks out that door.

Alone. Scared. Spiraling. Reacting to trauma rather than Buck himself. It's seeing that and having the show tell us, yes, that's what he deserves. That's all he gets. He doesn't get a happy ending. He doesn't get good closure. He doesn't get to believe that someone wants him enough to fight for him.

Tommy was right all along.

All his fears were true and will be what he ends up with. Older queer people who want families and are scarred by their own past experiences don't get love or a family. They don't get a place to call home.

Then, you have Buck; Buck blindsided by the trauma; Buck seeing his entire six-month relationship fall apart and just letting it happen to himself again. Having yet another person in his life, in a moment of cowardice and pain, quietly and brokenly lash out that he couldn't believe Buck would actually take this seriously; that he couldn't believe that Buck would love him once the pedestal was gone and the shininess wore off. That, once again, Buck lets his relationship play out without any idea of how to be active in it. That someone Buck loves, that he thought about possibly marriage with one day, that he wants to live with, leaves him.

That Buck, once again, is abandoned.

That Buck can't know himself.

That the show wants to lean into lazy biphobic ideas and tell us, yes, that's what Buck deserves. The thriving relationship that he had crumbles within minutes because Buck doesn't get to be happy; how can he know what happiness is if he isn't playing the field? Because nothing he did before Tommy counted. Buck 1.0 didn't count. None of his previous relationships counted. Because they were all ladies, and how can you know if you've only been with one man?

Telling the audience that you can't be happy in a relationship if it's somehow a "first", despite everything pointing to the relationship being solid and good for Buck.

It is the worst possible scenario.

It is a nightmare for both Buck and Tommy.

Both messages are terrible for the audience.

There were so many ways they could have broken up and I would have been fine with it. I've talked about it before, but I was fine with Josh and Arnold breaking up in Please Like Me and I still love the show. I watched episodes with Josh and Arnold from Please Like Me as a comfort when I was reeling about this that first night! I was fine with Alexis and Ted breaking up on Schitt's Creek and I was still fine with the show. I was okay with Amelia and Kai breaking up and I'm still watching Grey's Anatomy. Because all of those breakups were understandable. They made sense. I can like couples and be okay with them not working out. And they're fictional. Fictional shit rarely hurts me, if ever. That's not my problem at all here.

It's how this happened. It's the message it signals to the audience. It's devastating. I'm still devastated by the choice. I've never felt this way about a breakup for two characters ever. The core of my grief and genuine hurt is what the show proves it believes in through this breakup. And that's what's hurt me.

[is-the-fire-real]

When I was last on tumblr, it was ten years ago and one of the biggest faux pas you could commit was incorrect tagging.

It was Literally Colonialism to use a tag that was For Certain Oppressed Groups. The actually-autistic tag was created because allistics "took over" the autism tag, and this/other tags became heavily policed by users to make sure they remained a "safe space".

I remember seeing countless posts about how autistics would never be safe if we didn't have a bubble to protect us from interacting with allistics. The same went for tags about transliness and queerness. The going approach used militarized and hyperbolic language to characterize and other folks who weren't in the community: autistics (the group I had the most direct experience with) were attacked by allistic invaders who violated and conquered autistic tagging systems.

The "Literally Colonialism" isn't a joke. I saw plenty of suggestions that to even use a tag which was perceived as being "not yours" was colonization of ideas and thoughts. To be allistic, have an opinion on autism, and tag it as "autism" was held up as being exactly the same as the behavior of empires and nation-states.

Obviously, I don't entirely agree, and don't think this particular hyperbolization is helpful for advocacy or for dialogue. But I do find it interesting how, in the decade since I was last here, it seems to (mostly) still be true that you should only use certain tags if you have a particular identity...

... unless you're not Jewish, in which case feel free to use any and all Judaism-related tags and break the system's meager functionality for Jewish people.

As someone who is using Tumblr to connect to online Judaism, it's daunting to see how many posts under "judaism" are by non-Jews screeching about Israel. Seeing non-Jews openly talk about they tag their posts with gore, rape denial, Holocaust denial, October 7 denial, and other deliberately-triggering material with Jewish-themed tags specifically to make Jewish users of Tumblr feel unsafe. Reading them telling each other about how this is advocacy, this will absolutely win the war for Gazans, and how anybody who blocks them (in order to make sure the tags can actually work as intended) is a genocidal coward. Using that self-same militaristic language to describe their activities, only instead of criticizing, they're bragging.

It's, uh, kind of fucked up.

Imagine going to the actually-autistic tag and finding nothing but a wall of allistics claiming that they've victoriously conquered the tag from those inhuman monsters pretending to have problems when other Real People are the ones who are suffering. I think we would all intuitively understand that this would be Wrong. Even if there was some supposed outward justification for being mad at certain autistics, we would understand that holding all autistics everywhere responsible for it is wrong. That breaking a community's ability to talk to each other is wrong. That trying to trigger people and then telling them to commit suicide is wrong.

And we'd also understand, or come to, that the very action of going "This community I'm not part of doesn't deserve to have this tag, I'mma take it back, or at least ruin it so no one else can have it" is an expression of privilege. It is wrong, and it is immature, and it is cowardice.

These smug, self-involved, active attempts at causing harm make no sense at all if seen as advocacy; they help no one, advance no cause, stop no Zionists (whatever that means) from expressing themselves online.

They only make sense when seen as Jew-hate.