#EXCEPT when hes just chilling with his pals

[crows-of-buckets]

Threw his ass in the water today it's okay he deserved it

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Cluemaster: Hey, bro, I know I never call...

Kiteman: You did drunk call me that one time.

Cluemaster: I already said I was sorry for spreading around that you were in love with your kite and calling you to brag about it. As you said I was hella drunk and angry your weird ass podcast somehow now has the same level of fans as my old gameshow. Who the fuck cares that much about kites? Or C list vilany?

Kiteman: Did you just call to remind me why I hate you?

Cluemaster: Of course not, Chucky boy, your my favorite lil bro.

Kiteman: Arthur... I'm your only brother.

Cluemaster: Yeah? You're still my favorite.

Kiteman: Okay. Fine. What do you want?

Cluemaster: You're good with kids right?

Kiteman: Oh do you want me to babysit little Steph? I haven't see her since she was a baby! That'll be soo much fun!

Cluemaster: Oh, no, no. She is too old for a babysitter. I kindda called 'cause I need your advice.

Kiteman: Sure. Go on.

Cluemaster: How would you stop a prank war between your teen daugther and your bussiness partner that happens to be living at your house?

Kiteman: Woah. Define prank war?

Cluemaster: Like they just being annoying with each other... like non-stop Shrek music and painting one of her walls green?

Kiteman: Are you working with a child, Artie?

Cluemaster: No. Childrem are not really good at puzzle robberies.

Kiteman: So who the hell is in a prank war with your fourteen year old daugther? Is it that Polka Dot weirdo?

Cluemaster: ... Riddler.

Kiteman: Be honest, Arthur.

Cluemaster: I am!

Kiteman: Why the fuck would he work with you? Didn't he like was brought on to one of your trials and tried to sue you for being a copycat?

Cluemaster: No idea. I don't really remember all my trials.

Kiteman: Fair. Still isn't he like an actual treat? Like Batman actually tries to be always involved in his crimes instead of just sending a Robin or a cop kindda treat? Or hangs out with Cooblepot and Harley Quinn and fucking Catwoman and even Scarecrow and Joker kindda treat?

Cluemaster: Yes, so what?

Kiteman: He is waaay above your league. How the fuck do you got him to work with you?

Cluemaster: He is working for me because he recognizes my genius.

Kiteman: *sarcasm* Yeah, sure. At least it explains why I've been hearing that your plans don't totally suck anymore.

Cluemaster: Will you help me or not?

Kiteman: Anything for little Steph. But seriusly bro, the guy is a mentally instable killer, he is real Arkham loonie, A-lister and all this shit are you sure is safe to have him living with you? Specially if he and Stephanie are fighting!? She is just a kid! What if this prank war thing escalates and next thing she is in saw type death trap or something?

Cluemaster: Well than help me not to! I can't just kick him out, do you know how much I've been proffiting later?

Kiteman: And also he is an instable killer that used to hate you and wouldn't react well to being kicked out?

Cluemaster: Yeah, this too. Look I think you're overestimating the guy. He is smart and all and he can take a punch but I could take him out real easy in a one on one. He screamed like a little girl when he found a roach in the kitchem. I think I'll be fine.

Kiteman: Sure, you do you.... Maybe.... you could just.... help them find something they have in common? A TV show they like or something. It used yo work with us. They will bond over the thing and forget they hate each other for a bit.

Cluemaster: See was it that hard to help me?

*Chuck hangs up*

[Three months later]

Cluemaster: Chuck! I need help!

Kiteman: Can you call in another time? I'm bowlling with the guys, Calendar Man and Condiment King cannot win a second time, one weird rap about their love conquering all was ENOUGHT.

Cluemaster: Is about the whole prank war between Nygma and Stephanie thing.

Kiteman: Oh. So I guess my advice didn't work.

Cluemaster: No, no, it did. It worked way to well actually.

Kiteman: *worried* That sounds bad.

Cluemaster: Yeah... it happened that the thing they had in common was that they really hate me.

[xiao-come-home]

Genshin + HSR men as dads;

┏━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┓

✰ Characters:

↳ Genshin: Ayato, Itto, Alhaitham, Kaveh, Zhongli, Xiao.

↳ HSR: Blade, Jing Yuan, Luocha.

✰ Words: 3,5k.

✰ SFW ; afab!reader, because pregnancy mentions. fluff.

Warnings: established relationship, the characters are reader's husbands, mentions of pregnancy, babies, ayato always ends up kinda horknee????? slight spoilers about blades past, not beta read THERES NO TIME FOR THAT

A/N: this is my first time writing for hsr and kaveh, but I tried my best </3 also I have work in 2h and I haven't slept yet. this is more important. pog also give me feedback if you like hsr pieces ;q;

┗━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━┛

Ayato Kamisato:

he's such a girl AND boy dad you can't convince me otherwise. i just can't get that out of my head: imagine just chilling with your husband, you two enjoying some tea or coffee, while watching your children happily yell and play outside; ayato plays with your palm slightly, switching between rubbing it with his fingers and interlocking it, giving you occasional glances and tiny smiles.

ayato's definitely a strict parent, but wants his children to feel freedom - he does not force them to practice something they don't like, but teaches them necessary stuff they need to know if they are to be the future of the Kamisato clan.

he DEFINITELY had a boy first. and his son DEFINITELY looks like a perfect mixture of you two - he has ayato's eyes and hair type, but your hair color and smile.

your daughter, on the other hand, is exactly like ayato's copy, except with your personality - and he's extremely whipped for her. his little girl wanted to practice a new hairstyle with multiple pink hair clips? oh well, looks like he goes like this to his important meeting.

though, your son is just as mischievous as his father, if not worse - has probably trolled Itto more than once by the shy age of just three. he's also definitely interested in ayato and ayaka's battle styles, like hello??? HOW DO YOU JUST DISAPPEAR LIKE THAT??? AND TURN INTO SNOW??????

even though some fights between his children happen, as it's a thing you can't avoid - the big brother is very protective of his little sister and would do anything to make her happy! even if it means princess tea time. it reminds ayato of his, though not as fortunate, childhood memories with ayaka before she grew up to be the strongest woman and best auntie we know.

ayato probably teases you about wanting a third one, so they look like you this time. "say, darling, how about we get another little one?" feeling his smile, ayato whispers into your ear, "think about it, love," he wraps his arms around your waist from behind, "you just look so perfect I can't resist you."

Arataki Itto:

i do nOT care, his child is just as hyper as him. they're his absolute best buddy, partners in crime, you name it. but there's a plot twist - thank god your child thinks more often than their father AND stops him sometimes.

listen. absolute boy dad. his son is his pride and joy,he bragged so much about his boy to the point that Raiden Shogun herself heard about him.

so, remember itto being severely allergic to beans as an oni? his son absolutely loves beans and could eat them with no side effects. but itto being itto, prepares him meals with beans and takes it as a challenge. he just might cry, or throw up at worst. but hey, everything for his little sunshine.

^^your son absolutely cheers when he's making him dinner and suffering like?? "go dad! you're so awesome!" "yummy!" and itto's screaming back with tears dripping down his cheeks, "yes, YES!! THE BEST COOK OF INAZUMA, ARATAKI ITTO!"

itto prides himself in creating the most perfect small person to ever exist. your son inherited itto's golden heart and your brains (thank god). he's truly a ball of sunshine, and possibly the happiest and polite boy in Inazuma. with a pair of red horns just like his dad, red streaks in his hair and markings, itto's pupils and your eye color.

hear me out: total best pals with ayato's son. they love playing board games and battle onikabuto with each other, and much to itto's delight, his son is usually the winner, but the boys always politely thank each other for the game and move on.

your son is actually such a smooth talker to ayato's daughter to the point that he considers giving them a blessing and suffering being in-laws with itto.

he's also (great)grandma oni's favorite child now... he loves baking, cooking and sewing with her, and showing her his favorite onikabuto that you and itto let him keep as a pet!

itto's actually VERY down to have a few more kiddos if your pregnancy went well. he'd love a little girl to spoil his long hair, or maybe two. and two more sons so he wouldn't be lonely..

that time itto caught ushi sound asleep with his ball of sunshine next to him was the day he'll never forget. with tears in his eyes, he covered them in a warm blanket and let them snooze for a little more before bedtime.

Alhaitham:

literally no one, not even one soul knew that alhaitham has a child until they saw him walking a three-year-old. and the said child is probably the most behaved child that has ever been born.

seriously, your son is probably the smartest child ever. alhaitham, despite some worries, did and still does very well as a father - he began teaching him to talk earlier, he also seemed to have taken a liking to some instruments when he got older. the scribe's little one also enjoys it when his dad reads with him! be it alhaitham's books or fantasy ones, they have a special routine just for reading.

your son absolutely looks up to his father. when he sees him drafting some documents, his eyes shine with curiosity and adoration. alhaitham, can't help but smile slightly when he isn't looking.

nahida promoted alhaitham as the Acting Grand Sage. he promoted her as his babysitter.

^^but in a more serious tone, I genuinely think Nahida would be somewhat interested in your child - not in a negative light in any way, but.. it does make her wonder how a small child could be so smart. though his son has a long way to go and grow up, each year he manages to surprise her.

when his son is too bothered by the attention of other people, alhaitham gives him his noise-canceling headphones; they're a bit too big on him, but he appreciates it anyway.

alhaitham makes sure your son remembers his late grandmother, despite having not met her. even if the scribe does not consider himself a very emotional person, he wants the memory of her to live on.

he encourages his child to make his own decisions, too - just like he had that choice as well; if his son wants to break the ice and become more outgoing - alhaitham will not stand in his way. he wants him to grow up as the person he truly wants to be.

he definitely explained some god-tier science to his toddler son while holding him in his arms, receiving only some confusing "blah blag bwwwug" in return, watching him bite his tiny hand in happiness. he continued.

if there's something that alhaitham shares with his son, it's his love for naps. sometimes you all sleep together, and when it's time to wake up - both of them whine and your son snuggles up to his dad, to which your husband responds by getting his arm over the little one and giving you a small chuckle with one eye open, shortly before falling back asleep.

kaveh is your child's godfather. no, it wasn't his choice.

after a bit of hesitation and a lot of thoughts, he wouldn't mind to have another one; genders don't matter to him by any means, but I see him with yet another son :)

Kaveh:

kaveh and his twins could rival itto and his son's enthusiasm - it's what kaveh wants his kids to always remember - he wants them to enjoy every single bit of life, even if it's something simple.

the famous architect has decided to work hard to provide for you and the baby when you told him about the pregnancy- or, rather, about his future children; some of his work truly shone and got him quite a bit of attention, and therefore - a bunch of well-paid commissions.

kaveh has fought his empathy many times and tried not to overly spend money, which resulted in him being able to create and build your house that you share together; each of the twins has their own room, decorated according to their tastes.

your children have great emotional intelligence, just like your husband; if there's ever any conflict, they rather talk about it, than pout for hours, similar with you two. kaveh teaches them to always be honest, especially to themselves. they're also talented, but in different ways - your daughter seems to be fascinated by the role of the architect as well, but your son, regardless of what he's doing - he always makes sure it's perfect and polished as much as possible.

you cannot tell me this man doesn't do some kind of weekly family time - kaveh loves his family to the bone and would risk his life to protect you and your children with no hesitation. he's very involved in his children's lives and wants to be considered as their friend as well, not just a father; kaveh wants to know what they are interested in the moment, who they had their last beef with and who their crush is. he just really wants to gossip with them lol.

contrary to what a lot of people think, the twins and alhaitham's child(ren?) get along very well, and are aware they're just mirrors of each other. they can't however, understand how they managed to live together under one roof for so long... they never complain if they visit uncle alhaitham though, as he lets them search through his library so they can find out more about their interests.

in revenge, alhaitham is the godfather of the twins, just so you know.

Zhongli:

not only did he fall in love with you, but after hearing the cry of his little girl after she took her first-ever breath - zhongli fell in love once again.

he's so, so overprotective of his baby, regardless of her age. he's swooned by her - how tiny her fingers are compared to his when she finally grips them for the first time, how every month she looks even prettier than last one - he's always by her side, making sure she's the happiest she could possibly be.

since he has to sleep only once for a few days, he's willing to spend every second with her, especially after birth - zhongli also wants you to rest as much as you can, so you can both create memories together.

he most certainly takes her on a lot of walks with you when she gets older; not only around liyue harbor, but places dear to him and her only, if they discover one.

when your daughter grows up and begins to show interest in zhongli's hobbies, he smiles at her gently and sits her in his lap, only to start explaining it and feeding her curiosity; sometimes he has to stop himself for a moment to admire her twinkling eyes.

oh he DEFINITELY does her hair every morning. he's practiced on you before, having learned many new hairstyles to later on perform on your daughter; he carefully strokes her hazel hair with golden tips with a brush, feeling as he's almost watching his own in a mirror. sometimes, he adorns her hair with his own hairpin.

xiao was definitely the first person to know about your daughter. knowing that archon blood runs in her veins, he's less worried about being around her, therefore always more willing to spend time with her. both grow from this interaction - the little one knows how to protect herself (or to call uncle xiao when she's in trouble), and xiao understands small humans just a bit better.

zhongli's thrilled to know what her favorites are - no matter if it's tea, food or fabric, he has to know! perhaps they share the same favorites?

with the help of kamera, he's now able to immortalize the sight of you and your daughter. each birthday, he takes a picture and cherishes the young years of your baby, knowing they won't last long; erosion be damned, as long as he has the pictures - he'll always remember.

Xiao:

xiao was clueless. clueless and frightened. he wasn't supposed to have a child - with a mortal on top; albeit he tries to stay calm for your and baby's sake, he wants both of you to heal well.

it took quite a bit of time for xiao to fully embrace that he's a parent - and he adapted very well, having you by his side; the only worry that hasn't gone away is the thought of harming his daughter with his karmic debt.

but so far, the little one hasn't shown any signs of it, which makes xiao more than happy. she's yet another reason to warm his cold heart up, which he always compares to being engulfed by comfy scarf in the winter.

he automatically turns his head around whenever he hears her tiny little "tap taps" with her feet; not only does he find it adorable, but he knows she once again managed to lose her slippers and socks.

listen. she inherited the same diamond mark on her forehead - and he finally understands why you always insisted you liked kissing it for no reason.

he always. ALWAYS shares his almond tofu with his baby girl.. and she always makes a mess while eating it.. but it's worth it.

your daughter seemed to have taken a liking to watching finches from a distance; they always look for a nice spot in liyue plains, make a small picnic and feed the leftover bread to the birds. she finds them so adorable to the point that xiao was looking for a finch plushie for WEEKS. that made her good friends with qiqi, whom she tries to remember as "the finch friend."

Zhongli never says it out loud, but thinks of Xiao as his son. therefore, he finally earned a title of a grandpa (though unofficial). he's very proud to see Xiao stand up in a role of not only a protector of liyue, but the ones closest to him.

yes, your daughter actually calls morax himself, grandpa. (he doesn't correct her. ever)

imagine xiao with baby carrier. now you don't have to imagine it anymore.

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°

Blade:

don't even say he isn't a girl dad. HE IS.

he thinks he's a mere blade whose humanity has been lost hundreds of years ago - it's nothing more but a delusion in his mind. if that was the truth, why would he stay near his daughter's crib and watch her sleep peacefully, flinching when he saw her stir in her sleep?

she's absolutely not afraid of his cold, death stare, in fact - she looks at him back, waiting him to break first. just imagine a tiny baby eating a rice waffle, blade next to her and he just.. stares at her. but she stares at him back and eats the waffle like it's nothing.

your baby girl inherited blade's hair- or rather, yingxing's pearly white hair. he often pats her head gently and goes his hand through her hair, his eyes holding a tinge of bitterness and anger; not at her, however, but at the one he's after.

since blade spends most of his time on various missions with the stellaron hunters, he tries to make it up to your daughter by giving her gifts; hairpins, stickers (ekhem, silver wolf), coloring books, you name it. he slowly warms up to the idea of spending more quality time with her - after so many missions and the thought of his family waiting for him at home, his heart longs to see you again.

sometimes.. you can catch a faint smile on his lips when he plays with her. it's a sad smile - a smile yearning for it to happen back in simpler times, before getting reduced to a weapon, or perhaps in another lifetime.

he never admits it out loud, but he gets used to the new routine a bit too comfortably. before, when it was just you - in contrast to now, when he barely closes the front door and hears his daughter sprinting to him and clinging to his leg; he picks her up and feels her squishing her cheek against his while grinning. "welcome home, daddy!" are the first words he hears - and hopes to hear until it's his time to leave.

at times, blade becomes genuinely terrified - terrified of no longer craving death and wanting to stay. it sends him in so much emotional turmoil he starts to shake; how else do you process this? after so many years of attempting to look for that one thing that finally stops your breath, only to get swarmed by the thoughts of not wanting to leave your daughter behind? what if something happens to her and there's no one to help her?

there's a thing that I can't stop thinking about: I want to leave it up to you how you name your daughter, but I feel like blade would truly like the name Mari.

he lets her decorate him with stickers. it was silver wolf's idea.

Jing Yuan:

he was blessed with a daughter, as well. and then again. and then... again.

he absolutely adores his three little girls, hellO?!?!? but if you think about it, it makes sense - almost all of them took after his personality.

there is a mandatory nap for him and his girls that no one can disturb, unless the planet is on fire or someone got you mad. they all snore quietly while cuddling their dad, one of them on his chest, second on his stomach, and last one has her face somewhere next to his hair. makes you wonder how they got in these places, considering they started sleeping beneath a pink blanket decorated with lions.

speaking of lions, mimi claims your daughters as her cubs and does not let jing yuan take them away. she loves being pet and getting small kisses from them, there's no way she gives him that amount of attention back.

jing yuan loves your daughters to death and spoils them with absolutely EVERYTHING. new plushie? will be here in a few hours. a damned rock that's stupidly expensive, holds no value but one of them liked it? he'll take five. hell, he might even buy them a dog or another lion and hope for easy consequences from you.

he's slightly scared of how fast his oldest got so good at chess.

the girls get very upset when someone mentions they have no older brother - after all, how could they forget about yanqing?

there is a high chance of him losing one of them at home. they're walking, he turns around and.. suddenly the math doesn't add up..

if it's princess tea time, it is princess tea time. fu xuan either becomes a princess or comes back later.

even though they sometimes bring a lot of trouble, jing yuan always tells them to appreciate you - when it's mother's day, they all sit down and prepare a gift for you, same for your birthday; your special days will never go unnoticed.

probably wouldn't mind having another child, but is fully prepared for another girl lol.

Luocha:

he fathered a beautiful boy and girl a few years after. none of them were planned, but very welcome by both of you.

he's.. such a doting father. he always takes care of his children well, shows them affection - especially as small babies, he can't get over their chubby cheeks and peppers them with kisses, so he could hear them giggle.

in general, I think he just. can't get enough of them when they're toddlers or even younger. he loves holding them. he loves seeing his tiny babies get curious when he prepares medicine. he loves when they extend their hand to him for seemingly no reason, so he has an opportunity to give it a kiss. ARGH

he's thrilled to share his medical knowledge with his kids, if one shows interest in it!

luocha's definitely the one to style his babies' hair, I mean have you seen this man's gorgeous locks???? he's also the one to cut it if they don't like it long.

this isn't really about the children themselves, but.. he's just so grateful that you brought them into this world?? and he makes sure you know it every day, be it through actions or words. when you gave birth to your daughter, he held her in her hands and approached you from behind, leaning down and planting a chaste kiss on your cheek. "love, she's so wonderful, thank you for your hard work. I can't stop looking at her, and I wouldn't have that opportunity if I didn't meet you. I've never been more happy to meet such a person like you."

just like kaveh, he wants to be very involved in their lives. he always asks them about their day in school, if they made any friends. luocha also tries to be stern and has only one expectation as a father - he wants them to have a good, comfortable life, in which he'll assist in achieving as long as they need.

your son is very, very talkative with his dad and they could converse for hours. like for real. he's so smart, luocha is more than happy to broad his horizons, even in topics of lesser importance.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

Just A Kiss

Joining the congrats train for @withacapitalp, happy birthday Liam! You're not escaping the frog theme and cursed Steve, not on my watch.

"Look man, I don't really care if you're actually a prince, a model or a lying hobo, the answer is still no."

The frog looked at him with so much sass Eddie actually considered caving in, but...nah. It was disgusting. Even though it looked kind of cute with that weird pattern on its head that looked like a really fluffy mane of hair, light brown eyes and slight pout. "Like it's going to kill you, man," it croaked out and Eddie took another drag from his cigarette. Talking frogs. Yep, just another normal day in Hawkins.

"Look, even if I wanted to, which I don't - zoofilia isn't cool under any pretense, just for your info - I'm pretty sure I'm just high as a kite. You're a frog, which duh, you probably know that, but...uh. I don't want to wake up in the morning with the unsettling knowledge that I smooched some poor non-consenting animal and all I got from that was some rash on my mouth. Hey, can animals even consent? That's...no, you can't." One more drag of his cigarette. Maybe two. Make it another cigarette, shit. He didn't think that one joint was so strong.

The frog rolled his eyes again. "I'm not telling you to go and such face with a dolphin or something. Plus animals don't give consent because they a) can't talk, b) aren't cursed human beings. Like yours truly."

Eddie bit the filter in a futile attempt to sober up. Didn't help. "So you've said. Cursed human. Sorry if I don't believe you, froggy."

"It's Steve."

Eddie snorted out the smoke through his nose. "Steve. A frog named Steve."

There it was, that adorable eye roll again. "It's a temporary frog, otherwise full-time human Steve." It even tried to put its...paws? No, not paws, frogs don't have paws, legs? Front legs? Cute legs. Those, on its...hips? Eddie didn't know enough about frog anatomy but hell. It was adorable.

He giggled, brushing back his hair. "Sure, full-time human Steve. Is this a part-time job, then? A hobby?"

"A fucking curse, that's what it is." The frog almost growled, except it ended the annoyed tone with an unintentional ribbit. "Shit. Have you ever had hiccups? This - ribbit - oh god fuck why - ribbit - is worse."

Eddie just shook his head, wondering if he'd remember this trip the next day. He hoped so. "You'd think it would be natural to you." When the frog - sorry, Steve - just stared, he corrected himself. "For a frog, I mean. Which you're obviously not, except now you are-"

"Which part of a it-was-a-curse-from-an-old-hag-my-dad-pissed-off-a-few-decades-ago don't you understand? Ribbit, god make it stop-"

"Pretty much everything that wasn't a ribbit, pal," grinned Eddie and lit another cigarette. But it was a bit too quiet and when he turned to part-time-frog Steve, he wondered if maybe the trip was finally going away, if he'd just been chilling with an innocent frog for which his nerdy brain made a full page of lore, except- "What?" he asked the frog who was eyeing his smokes.

The frog groaned and tried to rub its still-not-sure-if-leg-or-paw over its forehead. "Look, if you're not willing to put me out of my misery either by - ribbit fuck this - stepping on me or giving me an absolutely consensual kiss, at least give me a cigarette. After the day I've had, I really need it."

"Uhhhh..." Eddie thought for a moment. Was it animal cruelty if he lit up a cigarette and put it next to a frog? The frog didn't have to smoke it, right? And he had no way of verifying if the frog was a minor. In...frog years or whatever.

The frog narrowed its eyes at him. "A kiss or a cigarette, dude. Choose now."

"Geez, so demanding for such a little guy," grumbled Eddie but obliged, lit another cigarette and handed it to the frog...the frog who grabbed it with both palms and took a long drag from it, closing its eyes.

"I really, really needed this," it muttered. Eddie wondered it being a frog would help him save on the smokes. It looked like its lungs were fairly small, one cigarette would last him for ages, but how would he buy them? So many questions...questions interrupted by Steve blowing a tiny puff of smoke from its - his? - mouth and looking at Eddie. "Don't you have better things to do than smoke with a temporary frog on a Friday evening?"

Eddie rolled his eyes. "I liked you better when all you could say was ribbit. But actually no, I'm waiting for a few of my friends."

And wow, could that frog smirk. "Can't wait to meet them."

Eddie was still pretty convinced that kissing a frog was off the table. But when a familiar pizza van parked next to him, Jonathan and Argyle jumping out, he found himself reconsidering. Just a little. Because it would have saved him from the following conversation.

"How are you doing, my man?" smiled Argyle and pulled Eddie into a hug, cracking his spine in the process. Argyle's bear hugs tended to do that.

Jonathan just stood there, staring. "Is that frog smoking a cigarette?"

The world slowed down and Eddie was just about to explain that the weed was a bit too strong this time and he might have hallucinated that the frog was talking to him, but then it blew another cloud of smoke from its tiny mouth and glared at Jonathan. "You've got a problem with that?" it asked in a dangerous croak.

"Oh yeah," offered Eddie weakly, "guys, this is Steve. Steve, this is Jonathan and Argyle."

And Argyle, bless his perpetually stoned heart, just walked towards Steve and shook his front leg/paw/hand/whatever. "Cool, nice to meet you, dude! Hey, do you just smoke cigarettes or are you in for some Purple Palm Tree Delight?"

Full time Steve or whatever just gave a pleased ribbit. "I thought you'd never ask."

And that's how Eddie, Jonathan and Argyle ended up stoned out of their minds...along with a frog. The nights were warm and they ended up napping next to each other in a patch of grass next to the Lover's Lake, setting tiny stoned Steve to the side to make sure no one crushed him in their sleep. And Eddie, in his blissed out state of mind, really didn't look forward to the next morning. Froggy Steve was fun. He liked Steve. He didn't look forward to the moment he'd have to accept that Steve was just a shared hallucination between the three of them.

Except...

Except in the morning, he got woken up by someone cuddling him. And that wasn't unusual, Argyle was a cuddler, except he was wrapped around Jonathan like a very dependent octopus. Maybe it was the blanket. Yes, definitely, the blanket must have fallen off him and crumpled behind his back and-

And the blanket snored.

Flipping around, he found himself face to face with an absolutely gorgeous young man. The bitchy slope of his eyebrow, furrowed in sleep, the numerous moles...Eddie's breath hitched.

Before he realized what was happening, his eyes opened and the lazy smile he gave Eddie made him want to jump in the lake and swim to the other side and back. Just to cool down a little bit. "Morning, Eddie," he yawned and Eddie recognized that voice. With or without the ribbit.

"...Steve?" he tried, and the smile just widened. "Oh god, this is going to sound so weird, but I was really convinced that you were a frog when I met you yesterday."

Steve just stretched those biteable arms above his head and groaned, closing his eyes again. Only then did Eddie notice he was wearing his spare clothes, a bit too tight and mismatched, but it was all he had in the van. "I was a frog, man. Is your memory usually this bad?"

Eddie's mouth hung open. Oh okay. That explained everything. Except it fucking didn't. "Uhhhh...no. I mean. I remembered you being a frog so it's a good thing, no?" Squinting at Steve, he slowly added, "how come you're not a frog anymore?" It sounded stupid, even to him.

But Steve just rolled his eyes with clear affection. "It's what I told you when I met you. A kiss."

"Did I kiss a frog? I mean, you?!" he blurted out before he could catch himself, unsure which one of those two things shocked him more.

One more disapproving head shake. "Shit memory, told you. Nah, it was Argyle. We were high, I mentioned the curse thing and Argyle just said "anything for my bro" and kissed me. I turned back and you...uh. Kind of freaked out because I didn't have any clothes on, so you raced back to your van to get me something. Then we smoked a bit more and went to sleep."

"Oh." Maybe the weed really was stronger than usual because Eddie's mouth had no filter that morning, even more so than usual. "Is it weird that I'm kind of jealous of him?"

Steve opened one eye and smirked at him. "What, you dream of kissing frogs often?"

Eddie hit his shoulder and laughed, mindful of the sleeping pair next to him. "Nope, but sure will dream of kissing you, pretty boy. Unless that would turn you back. Would it?"

There were hands on his hips pulling him down, back to the inviting grass and towards Steve's warm body. "Only one way to find out," he grinned.

[halliestinks]

Not enough butters appreciation smh 😔 since ny sweet boy deserves better can I pls get headcanons of a reader who has like a MASSIVE crush on him and is super affectionate and sweet with him and he's not used to it

Butters x Reader who has a Massive Crush on him

a/n: YES PLS MORE BUTTERS REQUESTS!!! I agree 100% he doesn’t get enough appreciation and he’s literally one of my favourite characters (apart from clyde) 🙁🙁

• you’ve always been head over heels for butters, the way he’s so sweet and genuine to others and how he never has any underlying intentions when he’s being friendly to you always gave you butterflies

• he of course is completely oblivious to your crush, assuming you just think of him as really good pal

• butters isn’t used to someone being so openly affectionate towards him, so when you start showing him affection he gets confused and unsure how to react

• he often blushes and stammers, not knowing how to handle your overwhelming sweetness

• is soo confused, like somebody actually likes being around him???? AND they’re not just using him?????

• despite his confusion you are super patient. you know that butters may need time to adjust to your affectionate nature, you simply enjoy making him feel appreciated

• you despise how everyone uses him, constantly finding yourself sticking up for him even when he doesn’t realize he needs it

• you get so defensive whenever somebody exploits his naivety, though often times he reassures you that it’s okay and he is willingly helping whoever is taking advantage of him. (he doesn’t understand he’s just being used)

“butters just think about it before you agree, please? for me?”

“w—well alright…”

• it sometimes ends with you stopping him, while other times you aren’t so lucky. you make sure to tag along just in case something happens anyways

• complimenting him throughout the day is a must, it will successfully leave him feeling giddy and majorly boosts his confidence

• the first time it happened probably went like this;

“your smile is really cute :)”

“aw gee!! thanks y/n!!! you have a cute smile too!!!”

“☺️”

“…wait”

• takes a minute for him to realise what you just said. he literally NEVER gets compliments so it catches him off guard

• immediately goes red and fiddles with his thumbs as he usually does when he gets shy

• his reaction made you want to compliment him all the time, it irks you so much that he’s never really had much affection towards him

• you usually suggest places to hang out, like at an arcade or a restaurant, etc. he will agree to go no matter where it is, he’s just happy to have somebody who genuinely wants to be around him

• chilling at home together is equally as fun, watching movies while either you play with his hair or he plays with yours

• his parents adore you, they constantly ask if you want to come over for lunch/dinner. they’ll even make an exception for you to visit whenever butters is grounded

• one time you actually got grounded with butters for doing something silly, so you had to stay in his room for the entirety of your stay. you ended up having alot of fun that day, and you got closer to butters so you decide it was worth the grounding

• butters will sometimes surprise you with homemade gifts, or he’ll save up his money to buy you something you’ve mentioned wanting a few times

“do ya like it?? I made it ‘specially for you!!”

“…this is the nicest gift anyone has ever gotten me 😖”

“a—are you crying?!”

• your heart practically melts, it baffles you how somebody can be so pure and yet doesn’t get the love he deserves from others

• it doesn’t take long before he starts to realize just how much he enjoys your company, your sweetness and affection leaving him with a funny feeling in his stomach after hanging out. and he finds himself falling for you too

• I feel like he would probably confess to you almost immediately after he realizes his feelings for you

• you would be hanging out at his place playing a board game, until he can’t hold it in any longer and just straight up confesses

“I—I really like you y/n! like… I like— like you… do you uh.. like— like me too??”

“of course I like— like you too butters!!! I have for ages, I thought you already knew??”

“really?!? I had no idea!!!”

“and here I thought I made it so obvious.”

• the two of you start dating afterwards and nobody is surprised, almost everybody thought you were already a couple so!!

• anyways, he tries his hardest to be the best partner ever. and you do the same, making sure he knows how much you love him everyday <3

[happy-hermit]

Wrote a little something based on @stiffyck desert alien Scar au!! It does include some hermitshipping so be warned if that’s not your thing :)

================================

Nothing had even really been going on, when it happened for the first time. There hadn’t been any sort of grand moment beforehand, or big event to attribute it to. It snuck up on them, quiet and unobtrusive and yet bigger than anything that could be put into words.

Grian had been procrastinating building a certain part of his base, instead following Scar around as he terraformed around his half-built castle. It was getting to be early evening, the sun rays growing longer and the air bringing a slight chill. Scar seemed to feel it more than Grian did, if the small shivers every now and then were any indication. But then, Grian knew Scar wasn’t… from around here. Or from anywhere he knew. Curiosity had always burned low in his stomach about the topic, but he’d sat with it for so long that it didn’t feel obtrusive, anymore. Either Scar would tell him, one day, or he wouldn’t. It wasn’t Grian’s job to know.

Still, it was fun to think about. He’d be lying if he pretended he’d never stared a little too long. It was just…fascinating, was all it was. There was no other reason he would be staring, no other reason his face would get a little warm, sometimes. Anyone would find it hard to look away from Scar, he was sure. The hard scales covering his shoulders and circling around his eyes and on top of his ears, the sandy color to his skin, the fur peeking out between scales — it was just a tiny bit mesmerizing.

Apart from that, Scar probably had one of the most genuinely happy smiles Grian had ever seen. So what if his stomach jumped whenever he saw it? Anyone would feel compelled to smile back.

Grian sighed dramatically, leaning back on his hands and craning his head to squint at the sky. The faint beginnings of stars were starting to appear against the darkening blue, and Grian looked back over at Scar, who was still placing and replacing leaf blocks. His movements were noticeably more sluggish than they’d been a few hours ago, and Grian frowned a little.

“It’s getting dark,” Grian said, casual as he could manage, and Scar jumped, glancing over at him and then up at the sky. (Grian always got a strange feeling in his stomach, when Scar looked up at the stars. Like he was watching something he wasn’t supposed to see.)

“But the sun just came up!” Scar said, scowling slightly as he turned back to Grian. “The days are so short.”

Grian raised an eyebrow. “They’re the same as they’ve always been, buddy.” He gestured at the large area Scar has managed to terraform. “You’ve got to come up for air, sometimes.”

“I can hold my breath for days,” Scar grumbled, making his way over to where Grian was standing surrounded by shulkerboxes, and he seemed to register something. “What have you— You’ve been here this whole time?”

“What? Can’t a man hang out with his— with his best pal while he builds his lawn?”

“You just didn’t want to build the back of your base,” Scar said with a cheeky smile, and Grian huffed and looked away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Grian said, turning back. “My base is perfectly— Hold on.”

Grian lurched forward towards Scar, eyes fixed on the side of his head, because— because he could’ve sworn he’d seen—

“Wait a minute, do— Was that—“ Grian stopped and squinted as Scar’s top set of ears descended back onto his bottom set, because he had two sets of ears. He had four. Except not anymore, now that they’d blended back into one. “You’ve got ears!”

Scar backed up with his hands out in front of him, laughing nervously and looking to the side. “Well— We all have ears, G, I don’t know what—“

“You have four,” Grian insisted, shaking his head in awe, wings puffing up in excitement. “Scar, that’s— that’s cool.”

Slowly, Scar hands lowered, and his head tilted a bit. “…It is?”

“Yeah,” Grian said, fairly certain he was vibrating in place, and something about Scar seemed to soften. He looked almost embarrassed.

“They don’t usually show,” Scar said slowly, hand raising to touch the ear that was still visible. “They’re more… They’re softer than the other ones. Not really protected, you know?”

“Can I see?” Grian asked carefully. His heart was trying to break past his rib cage.

Scar hesitated, and glanced over at where Jellie was curled up on a shulkerbox, watching serenely. Eventually, she yawned. Scar laughed a little, seeming a bit shaky, and he turned back to Grian with a small smile.

“Sure,” Scar said, hands fidgeting inside his pants pockets. “I mean, they’re not super exciting or anything.”

“Only if you want to,” Grian said, shuffling forward a half step. He shot him a playful grin. “But you should know that I’m invested now.”

Scar laughed, almost like it’d been startled out of him, and then he sighed through a smile. “You’re horrible.”

“You’re stalling.”

“Remind me why you spent the whole day here instead of your base?”

Grian slapped him on the arm with a huff of indignation, and Scar starting shaking with laughter, scales on his face shifting as his eyes squinted in joy. Grian felt a little breathless, all of the sudden, and looking at Scar’s ears didn’t help; they were separate again.

Scar’s laughter faded away as he realized what had happened, and his ears twitched, but didn’t fold back together.

“Can you control them?” Grian asked, stepping to the side to get a better look.

“Usually,” Scar grumbled playfully, glaring to the side as if he could see them. “But sometimes it happens when I’m… When I’m comfortable, I guess. I don’t think about it.”

“You trust me,” Grian said softly, a quiet realization that hit his chest like a freight train.

Scar smiled, a little shy at the edges. “Of course.”

The lower set of ears were just barely smaller, and covered in the softest looking fur Grian had ever seen. His fingers twitched, and he fidgeted with his sweater to put the energy somewhere else.

“Do you mind if…” Grian started, and then hesitated, eyebrows furrowing. Scar made a questioning noise, and Grian finished. “Can I touch them?”

Scar blinked, and the skin around the scales on his cheeks got a little darker. His tail swished in short movements in the dirt behind him, and Grian began to worry he’d said something wrong.

“It’s fine if it’s a no,” Grian rushed out, a bit flustered himself now. “I just— I don’t know why I asked that.”

“No no, it’s fine, I promise,” Scar said, voice a little higher than usual, and he cleared his throat. “I don’t mind, just…” Scar trailed off, eyebrows furrowing in thought, and Grian gave him a minute to think.

“Where I come from,” Scar started slowly, not quite looking at him, “when someone touches the lower ears, it means that they’re— like, a very close friend.” Scar cracked an awkward smile. “Or a very close friend, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh,” Grian said. “Sorry, I—“

“I said I didn’t mind,” Scar interrupted quickly, hands in his pockets again, face just slightly tucked down into his scarf, and Grian realized he was flustered. “So, if you don’t mind…”

A painfully soft smile crossed the avian's face — so embarrassingly fond that Mumbo would make fun of him for weeks if he’d seen it.

“I don’t mind,” Grian said, gently touching Scar’s wrist before reaching towards his ears, giving him time to pull away. Instead, Scar just stared back at him, seeming a little bit awed.

Carefully, Grian brushed his fingers over the top of the ears, and grinned when Scar’s eyelids immediately started to droop. The fur was soft, and thicker than he’d anticipated. Happy avian noises built up in Grian’s chest, feathers fluffing up along his wings as he gently rubbed Scar’s ears.

“Alright?” Grian asked quietly, and Scar just nodded rapidly. Grian laughed and kept at it.

Minutes or hours later, a low, rhythmic rumble started up in Scar’s throat, unlike anything Grian had heard. It was a bit like purring, if purring somehow included every pitch of sound at once. Maybe it should have been grating, but it was more like music than anything else. Like a built-in lullaby. Grian felt all the tension he’d been carrying from the week melt away, and he exhaled slowly. When he opened his eyes, Scar was watching him.

They’d sat down on the ground at some point in the past few minutes, Scar’s hands wrapped loosely around Grian’s arms to keep them steady as he rubbed his ears in small circles.

“Hi,” Grian said softly, mouth lifting at the corners without his say-so.

“Well hello there,” Scar responded, equally soft, still somehow making those noises while he talked.

Grian glanced over Scar’s shoulder and grinned as he watched Jellie hop up on the shulkerbox at Scar’s back. She immediately set to licking at Scar’s lower ears, and Scar sighed. Grian giggled quietly and finally let his hands fall back into his lap, letting Jellie take over.

“She does this a lot?” Grian asked, voice full of amusement.

“Oh, constantly,” Scar said, absentmindedly reaching back to pet her. “She thinks I don’t do a good enough job grooming myself and she has to do it for me.”

Grian laughed, leaning back and enjoying the show; Scar grumpily sitting still while his cat(?) licked the fur on his ears.

“She’s doing pretty good,” Grian chuckled, and Scar huffed, though he was starting to smile.

“She’s actually older than I am,” Scar said, as if that was a perfectly normal thing to say, and Grian blinked. “I think she thinks I’m her child.”

“…She’s from where you’re from,” Grian said eventually, and Scar just hummed.

“Scar,” Grian started, because it finally felt like the time to ask. “Where are you from?”

Scar looked at him for a long while, seeming to study his face. Then he looked up, tilting his head and squinting at the sky. Grian was about to take the evasion of his question as an answer until Scar finally made a noise and pointed. At the sky.

“Somewhere around there, I think,” Scar said, still looking at the stars. “It’s been a while, but I’m pretty sure I remember.”

Grian followed Scar’s finger to find a patch of night sky, saturated with stars. It felt like it should have been a big revelation, but instead it simply slid into place. Like a puzzle piece he hadn’t been aware was missing. Somehow, it made sense.

“That explains a lot,” Grian said finally, and Scar burst out giggling, scaled tail thumping against the ground and all four ears twitching against his head. Jellie huffed and sat down to groom herself, and— Had she always had that extra set of legs?

“Thank you,” Scar said when he had finally stopped laughing, and he grabbed Grian’s hand in a gentle hold.

“For what?” Grian asked, a bit of warmth rising to his cheeks.

Scar just shrugged, a happy little grin on his face. “You don’t make me want to hide.”

Lost for words, Grian squeezed Scar’s hand, and together they watched the stars.

[ckret2]

I'd love to know more about Bartholomew, and how they befriended him! although it is very funny that something that wild happened entirely offscreen XD

I thought this would be short, but apparently I had more to say about Barty than I thought! So here:

Bartholomew was acquired from a crane game filled with haunted dolls that was set up at Gravity Falls' mall. I do not know why that crane game was there. It's just the kind of thing that happens in Gravity Falls. Each haunted doll is possessed by the evil ghost of a creepy Victorian child. Dipper & Mabel didn't discover this until the next night.

In life, Bartholomew was a 14-year-old necromancer who bound his spirit to a doll so he could live forever—which is why he happens to know so much about poppets and can teach the twins how they work. He's hoping they'll bind Bill to a poppet, he'll die, and he'll remain attached to the poppet, so Bartholomew will have a new haunted doll pal.

(He was not friends with the other dolls in the crane game machine. You know how it turns out wild wolves in normal packs are really friendly and cooperative with each other, and vicious alpha wolf dominance fights only happen when wolves are forced together in captivity and are stressed and defensive? Yeah. That crane game was cramped. Nobody made friends in there.)

He's spent over a century as your typical feared creepy haunted doll, shuffling between locked trunks and antique malls and dusty attics and paranormal investigators' houses that mysteriously burn down and thrift shops. His prior crimes could fuel a horror movie series fit to rival any Chucky or Annabelle you could think of.

His original ambition—as it always is when he's in a house with a boy age 12 to 17—is to murder the kid (and anyone who tries to stop him) and take over his life. We are unclear on how an immobile porcelain doll intends to pose as a living human child. I'm not sure he's ever thought through that part of the plan. He thought killing Dipper would've made a particularly sweet deal since he would've gotten a free sister out of it.

It turns out he does all this because he's desperately lonely and unloved after over a century as a creepy haunted doll, and he just wants a family and friends his own age again. Mabel quelled his murderous urges by saying he can have a bed and live in their room and be their friend as long as he doesn't kill anyone. Usually when kids find out he's alive, they run crying to the adults about the scary living doll begging to get rid of it, and the adults either don't believe them or join in trying to get rid of him. Running into a couple of kids that are totally chill with a haunted doll as long as he doesn't commit murder is a new experience for him. This is the most positive socialization he's had since he died. He's turned around real fast.

So far, Mabel and Dipper haven't told anyone else about Bartholomew. Not on purpose, they just kind of dealt with it on their own at like 3 a.m. and then never thought to bring him up to the adults. Even Bill hasn't noticed him yet. Probably in late August the kids'll end up in a conversation with the grunkles like "wait, did we really forget to mention the haunted doll we've been living with all summer??" Typically he only speaks in front of children. There's a chance Candy and Grenda have been told about him, but due to the Bill situation they haven't been over to meet Barty yet.

He was not in Gravity Falls last year and doesn't really get who Bill Cipher is. What he knows is that Bill is a cute girl who's allegedly a guy who's allegedly some kind of demon from space who can single-handedly destroy Earth. He's read War of the Worlds, he knows all about destroyers from space; but he didn't realize Martians have demons too. He just kind of accepts this all as true, but doesn't really fear Bill (except when he thinks Bill might be in a mood to smash delicate porcelain dolls).

Dipper and Mabel often catch him posed like he was doing something right before other people came in. Sometimes they come home and Barty is posed like he's been petting Waddles. They don't know if this means he's actually let Waddles see him move.

Have you ever watched The Boy? He looks and moves kind of like The Boy, although he's closer to the size of a baby doll and a bit less realistic. Creepy formally-dressed porcelain doll, only moves when nobody's in the room and/or looking at it.

His haunted doll powers include creepily turning off all the lights, writing messages on foggy windows/mirrors, causing disembodied knocking/rattling, slowly dragging the bedsheet off a sleeping child in the middle of the night, teleporting when no one's looking, slipping strange whispers into TV/radio/cassette audio, causing furniture to rearrange in strange ways during the night, and—if he gets really mad or distressed—he can briefly act as a poltergeist and make things levitate and fly around.

As a ghost possessing a doll, he's able to see other ghosts. This makes him—along with Bill, disembodied-Dipper, [redacted], [redacted], and sometimes [redacted]—one of the few members of the cast that can see the mindscape.

He secretly doesn't mind that Mabel calls him Barty Mew-Mew and is increasingly beginning to think he'd kind of like being a catboy. Mabel will be ecstatic when she finds out.

[artsygremlin291]

UAAAAA IMG OMG OMG OMFGGGG I LOVE YOUR LOS.GIJINKASSSSSS THEYRE SOOOO COOL!!!! DO YOU HAVE ANY HC FOR THEM???

MY FIRST ASK LETS FUCKING GOOOO you have 'first' comment priviledges

okay that aside, I do have a few for the LoS! I've been in PMTOK since the game launched :) Get ready for a lot of text, pal!

Headcanon time.

Olly created each member very carefully, and let their personalities develop over training, which all took place before the events of PMTOK. Olivia didn't know about his full plan during this time, she thought he'd just build a kingdom, not take over existing ones.

Olly was made years before the 2020 Origami Festival, giving the Craftsman time to raise him and stuff. This made the betrayal harder on Olly.

Olly has dark magic, and Olivia has light magic. The Origami Craftsman made them to represent Yin and Yang, and to create balance in the potential Origami Kingdom.

Olly is EXTREMELY ATTACHED to the LoS, they felt like his only family after feeling so betrayed by the Origami Craftsman (and later, Olivia).

The Origami Craftsman actually made Stapler for Olly when he was younger! Olly's had Stapler since it was a puppy :)

Colored Pencils draws himself and the Legion in his freetime. They're his family and he cherishes them.

Rubber Band and Hole Punch make a great duo, with Hole Punch’s Dances and Rubber Band’s singing. They like to take turns with the spotlight.

Hole Punch has ADHD, and can't pay attention very well. He’s found that music helps him focus. (this may or may not be projecting)

Scissors will often hide their emotions, in fear that people will see them as “weak” if they’re shown to be emotionally vulnerable. They only trust the rest of the LoS with their emotional state.

Tape acts as the "most mature" of the LoS, he keeps everyone in line. They all see him as a sort of older brother figure.

Tape knows a lot of fun ocean facts! He likes to study sea stuff in his free time.

Scissors was actually pretty chill before Olly initated the war. They only discovered their love for bloodshed and sadistic nature during the training. Things got 100% worse when they realized they were the last Legion member alive, that completely broke them mentally.

Hole Punch's voice can influence the other LoS members to a degree, he uses this to calm them all down. This only works because they're all connected to Olly's magic, so it doesn't work on others. (like Mario, Bobby, Olivia, etc etc)

Colored Pencils uses He/They/It, Rubber Band uses It/Its, Hole Punch uses He/They, Tape uses He/Him, and Scissors uses They/Them.

okay just olly headcanons this time except a lot of it is projecting onto him

Olly is extremely self conscious about his public image and being perfect.

Olly has ADHD and Autism, but sees this as a problem and something that makes him “imperfect”.

Olly tends to fidget with small objects when he’s bored, like his earrings or the end of his cape.

Olly has an extremely hard time sleeping, much to his dismay.

Olly tends to shut himself in his room a lot, drowning out the rest of the world with music.

Olly loves piano music, and tends to listen to it to calm down. He also knows how to play piano, this headcanon is due to the little piano melody in the beginning of his battle theme (0:06 to 0:10). Faster melodies when he’s stressed or angry, softer melodies when he’s calm and content.

Olly seems like the kind of person who would know the lyrics to all the disney villain songs, but wouldn't sing around people. (He specifically likes “Be Prepared” from the Lion King)

Before Olly went mad with power and noticed the “scribble” on his stomach, the Origami Craftsman would sing/hum lullabies to Olly to help him sleep or calm down. Olly later passes this through the family by doing the same with Olivia and the Legion to help them sleep or calm down.

He for the love of god cannot control his anger, he tries to stay composed but my GOD is he petty.

Instead of 4th of July, The Mushroom Kingdom has the Origami Festival on July 17th. July 17 is also Olly’s birthday.

Olly hates emotions in general- not from other people, from himself. He hates feeling things and a lot of the time tries to hide his emotions.

Olly is actually very fun loving! He enjoys singing and dancing, festivals, etc.. he just 'grew up too fast' and prioritizes his kingly duties. He thinks it isn't okay for him to "be childish". He envies Olivia's innocence.

Olly takes a huge interest in the legends surrounding the Crystal Stars and the Shadow Queen, even more so since the Craftsman is a descendant of one of the Four Heroes. He rereads the stories about it a lot.

My version of events

Me and my sister got a sort of AU thing going on- and we both say it's canon we're nintendo real

During the ending festival, Mario thinks back to everything that happened, and how Olivia and Olly didn't really have a chance to LIVE. Sure, they were alive, but they didn't get to experience the world as it is, they didn't get to be kids. (Olly is 18, Olivia is 15) Mario decided to do what Olly did.. and with the help of Luigi, Bowser, Peach, and the Toads, the 1000 Paper Crane wish happened again. Olly, Olivia, and the LoS were all brought back to life. They all reside in Peach's Castle until Olly can handle his emotional/mental state and create his own Origami Kingdom, allied with the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms. Olly learns by observing how Peach rules and acting as a sort of assistant to her! (Later viewing Peach as a mother figure)

Olivia ends up meeting the rest of Mario's sidekicks, like Kersti, Goombella, Huey, and the Captain of the Odyssey... Cappy! Together they go on adventures in the Odyssey and explore the world, able to have fun and excitement if Mario is too busy. Olivia gets a good kick out of it and is more than happy to go, she sends postcards to Olly.

The Legion of Stationary all settle down and begin focusing on their passions rather than being soldiers for Olly, since he no longer needs that of them. Pencils persues his art, Rubber Band persues it's acting career, Hole Punch decides to help entertain Toad Town with music and dance, Tape begins working with Captain T. Ode to be closer to the oceans.. and Scissors decides to make use of their love for combat, giving training sessions to Toads who want to help protect the Kingdom.

Maybe I'll go on about the AU in another post, this is already long enough- BETCHA DIDN'T EXPECT ALL THAT, HUH?

[justr3adin]

I need something to post cos I really don't feel like drawing, so here take my head canons about the personality of each of the Henry paths.

I am also not a shipper (personally shipping people is heckin weird)

Triple Threat- Mr Cheerful, goes along with Charles's plan, likes to chill, best buds with Ellie and Charles, but has a serious side you really shouldn't touch.

Valiant Hero- Mostly depressed since Charles was really his only friend, and is very sensitive about him. Breathe one bad word about Charles and TT may give you a glare, but VH will knuckle punch you in the face and demand you apologise.

Cleaned 'em Out- Friendly and laidback, he doesn't worry much at all, and a master tech Wizz because he was bored one day, doesn't flaunt his riches much, but clear signs of wealth.

Special Brovert Ops- The cheerfullest guy, can do some crazy stunts with Charles, enthusiastic as hell, everyone else mildly dislikes him as he can be really annoying. Surprisingly(or not) VH likes him.

Toppat King- Smug Rich Guy™ No.1, likes annoying R and T4L, but is really good with guns (aimbot on?). Is surprisingly good at negotiating when not actively being annoying.

Toppat 4 Life- Smug Rich Guy™ No.2, is very cold, can come up with killer comebacks. TK ignites his cold heart and they argue needlessly about the dumbest things. Secretly very smug that he runs the clan by himself. Don't bring it up because he can drone on and on and on.

Revenged- Severe anger problems, is no stranger to threats, cold and stoic. Had a mental breakdown when he was revived, but otherwise shows little emotions other than anger. Secretly a sarcasm master, but doesn't show it much. He is very aggressive towards the Toppats.

Toppat Civil Warfare- Is the mediator because no-one else is. Calms down R when he has his bouts of anger. Is the definition of 'when a therapist needs therapy'. Also is a little terrified that Ellie may be brought up.

Stickmin Space Resort- Smug Rich Guy™ No.3, is cocky, but is a master at pleasing others. Lives in his uniform. He often deals with Karens and so hides his anger very well. He has a strict bar, that which you cross, say bye-bye.

Jewel Baron- Smug Rich Guy™ No. 4. He loves to party and is the most obnoxious and annoying out of all of them. But really, he's just depressed, and uses 'party!' to hide it. No-one truly gets him. Can be mature once in a blue moon. Except when there’s a gem involved. He will be dead set on obtaining it.

Pardoned Pals- Has a comfortable life much like CeO, just minus the riches. Best friends with Ellie and is overall very calm. He's the local friend as he is quite neutral and is very friendly.

Toppat Recruits- Mostly friendly but can come off a bit cold, a bit snarky, and very fixated on stealing the ruby and emerald. Respects JB (doesn't know that JB abandoned Ellie).

Master Bounty Hunter- The scariest of them all(R is actually stronger but a machete carried around by a guy whose stare can petrify a criminal is really scary). Has taken up smoking but isn't addicted. Skilled in apprehending people. Has developed a ‘tough guy’ attitude.

Little Nest Egg- The most quiet of the bunch. Despite his riches, he doesn't show it at all. Good at quick decision making and often the most forgotten Henry as he tends to stay back. Also good at surviving in jungles. He does sometimes throw a bag of coins at the Toppat leaders when they argue.

Capital Gains- Smug Rich Guy™ No.5. Often provides snide remarks, but doesn't speak up much. He makes his connection to Ellie obvious, so TCW avoids him the most. He is also laidback, to a lesser extent.

Free Man- The most 'average' of the Henries. He is extremely good at escaping tough situations. A surprisingly smooth talker once you force him to share his thoughts. He's able to stay calm, even through the weirdest situations, also has probably changed the least out of all the Henries.

[neko-naruto]

Compact Confessional

Summary: Mysterion is holding something from the rest of the Freedom Pals. They should respect his privacy, they really should- but they only take it as a challenge.

Warnings: Suggestive themes, privacy breach, betrayal of trust, swearing, feral behavior (in Kite), the authors attempt at humor, heavy guilt, interrogation, it gets worse but then it gets better guys, I promise

Authors Note: hurgh K2, with the additional flavor of kitesterion because I went batshit over the AU to an insane degree. I have no clue when the Ao3 port is dropping. Sorry if some of the colored text, isnt colored. And fair warning, this badboy levels around 10K words, tumblr starts to lag around 7.5K for anyone curious. it is almost 3 AM (do artists ever stay up insanely late to finish big projects and get so sleepy they forget the hotkey for the eraser tool? I wouldn't know, but somewhere along the line I kept trying to write segue way with a Q because I was fucking disoriented) I need to go to sleep right the fuck now

Mysterion is keeping something from the Freedom Pals, he's keeping something from all of them. Maybe if he was willing to talk about it with someone everyone wouldn't find it so intriguing. Maybe then everyone wouldn't want to know what it is that's so fucking important that no one is allowed to know about it.

Super Craig tries to act like it's nothing super big, aware that if everybody paid no mind to it that it might come out faster. Tupperware followed suite with the idea, Wonder Tweek tagging in as well. Other members of their franchise were a lot less… subtle, about their interest in Mysterions secret, whatever it is. The Coon is practically begging him every single day to tell him what it is, Call Girl even joins in. Toolshed is pretty sure the both of them are just making things worse it they want Mysterion to come clean.

Human Kite is the only one that refuses to meddle at all, even Doctor Timothy has tried getting a peek in Mysterions mind. The alien is the only one that sits there and listens to him bitch about how annoying they are. The only one that pauses to look and listen and take in every visual and audible cue because that's what he's known to do since he first landed way back when. It tells him a lot about his teammates if nothing else.

Still.

Mysterion- no, Kenny McCormick is hiding something from his friends. And given the fact that it's barely coming out even when he's in a state of delirium or terribly wounded, it must be something big.

It's starting to piss off Kyle a little bit.

-/-/-/-

"Thanks for letting me hang out for a bit man," Kenny said as he pulled on his orange parka. He opted to leave his bleached cargo shorts and purple everything else in a pile on Kyles bedroom floor. It was easy to do that when the alien offered to wash them, "Chilling with Cartman all the time definitely does not do wonders for ones mental health."

Kyle gives a laugh, the kind that leaves teeth too sharp on full display. "Totally, I swear to fuck that asshole needs therapy," He stills his tail from wagging like he's a little kid, except, when he was a little kid he tied his tail up so it wouldn't be exposed in an all too human world. An extremely uncaring world for anything different then what they know as normalcy.

"He needs so much therapy," Kenny answered with, "See you tomorrow?"

"On our patrol, I'll make sure your suit is washed," Kyle said, throwing an arm to the side, an invitation for a hug. He wouldn't be sad if Kenny didn't take it, but he still can't help the way his heart skips several beats when he gets one. An anchoring tightness enveloping him, squeezing a comfortable amount on his rib cage that would hurt if he was human.

"Thanks Kyle," Kenny said quietly, head propped near Kyles shoulder but not quite tall enough to rest it on top. He pushes himself on his tippy toes to press the top of his head to the bottom of Kyles chin. He takes a dramatic step back and maybe Kyles tail is swaying a little bit with a silky soft comfort residing on his skin. He clasps his hands together, "Tomorrow."

"Yeah man, see you then," Kyle said, the instant he realized his tail was doing the thing he stilled it entirely. He felt a slight singe of cyan embarrassment. Stupid alien anatomy. Giving away how he feels.

Kenny pivots on his heel and gives a wave, "See ya man!" His steps are light and Kyle is watching with maybe a little bit too much intent.

He has zero legal rights to do so, but emotional and psychological rights? He has plenty. The first one being that he might've imprinted on Kenny the second his family landed on earth. He might've latched onto both Mysterion and Kenny like an orphan duckling in his childhood era of existing- so much so that he couldn't help the absolute giddiness when he learned they were the same. Maybe he got a little bit too attached to Kenny compared to everyone else in a human sense. But in an alien sense, in his instinctual sense, he was the perfect amount of attached considering how he thought of Kenny.

The second reason he stared was because Kenny had an undeniably amazing ass. That wasn't just personal opinion either, they held a vote after a particularly odd argument in the Freedom Pals lair. Kenny won by an absolute fucking landslide in the votes and voter fraud having taken place can't be confirmed or denied by anyone.

Except for Doctor Timothy of course.

And if there is a god, Kyle is praying everyday that the human one makes sure that Doctor Timothy doesn't look into the legitimacy of the votes.

Kyle barely drags himself back from his thoughts, he's been told he can get lost in them sometimes. His tail is wagging again, the multicolored diamond-like frills undulate a little bit. He swings the front door shut reluctantly when he can't see Kenny anymore. He tugs off his gloves and tosses them in a pile alongside his hat, letting the splotchy cyan coloration of his skin show. He makes his way up to his bedroom, but he finds his impossibly human little brother standing in his doorway.

"Ike, get out of the way," Kyle said sternly, giving a bit of a growl under his voice. His adoptive brother just quirks a brow in that annoying manner he learned from the humans.

Ike clears his throat, "No."

"Well why not?" Kyle questioned, growl snuffed and replaced with something louder and more resonant, it vibrated in his brothers flesh. It was something that Ike long since lost the ability to be intimidated by.

"When are you gonna stop inviting over your little posse of partners eh?" Ike asked, crossing one arm over the other. His tone was nothing but accusatory, Kyle saw through it.

"Are you jealous?" Came Kyles instant reaction.

"No," Ike responded with far too fast to be true.

"I'll play some video games with you on Thursday," Kyle offered.

Ike moved out of the way, "Enjoy wallowing in your disgusting room bud."

Kyle ignored him with nothing more than an eye roll, he made a point of slamming his door shut. He kicked aside a small heap of whatever, a mix of something or other he'd been intending to clean up. He gently picks up a small stack of comics Kenny had lent him and places them on his desk. Right beside the Mysterion charm. And the Mysterion action figure. And the other pieces of shitty Mysterion merchandise he had bought.

Okay, yeah, maybe he had a little bit too much Mysterion merchandise. He was just trying to put some extra cash into Kenny's pocket for when money is tight around the house. He just wanted to make sure his best friend was living a decent life, it wouldn't be enough to give him the life Kyle knew Kenny deserved, but it would help.

He takes hold of Kennys outfit and empties the contents of the pockets into a small bin. Loose change, granola bar wrappers, pocket knife, lock pick, the usual stuff he carried around for hero duties and then some. Kyle shakes the hood loose of any twigs or leaves and something large enough to clatter as it hits the metal netting of the bin falls out. His pointed ear gives a flick at the noise, he's dropping to the ground and pulling it out in a second.

He's completely enveloped in the mystery of what was hidden in Kennys hood because A: fucking genius hiding spot, and B: this could be what Kenny was hiding. It could be exactly what Kenny was trying so hard to keep under the radar, what he successfully kept hidden from everyone's prying eyes.

He came up with a tape, jet black, scratched plastic and a cracked see through window bit. There are silver markings across the black, seemingly unpredictable and laid out with either sharpie ink or a paint pen. The paper label is coffee stained and reads the date, recorded last month (why it's still on Kennys person is odd). The log number is left blank, presumably stated in the recording.

It was a jackpot and somewhere in the back of Kyles mind he knew he should ignore it. He knew this was shattering every rule in the book and that he'd be shattering his friendship with Kenny, Mysterion and Human Kite would probably stop being a dynamic duo at that.

But, he needed to know.

He absolutely fucking needed to know.

He wouldn't dare speak it too anyone ever, and he'd return it to the hood right afterwards. He wouldn't even tell Kenny that he listened to it, he'd just sleep at night knowing exactly what Kennys secret is. And that would be more than good enough for Kyle, he wouldn't need anything else.

He reaches blindly for his cassette player, the one he's held onto since he was young. One of his earliest earthly possessions, one he still cherished and used every day. He popped out the cassette already inside and gently placed the pilfered audio into it. He eagerly grabs his earbuds before pressing play.

Professor Chaos is pretty fucking sure doing this shit is helping out my mental state or whatever He doesn't know what he's dealing with He doesn't know that he's playing with fire trying to get me to spill my guts on his fancy therapy chair But, here I am, sitting on top of the police station fully decked out in my Mysterion persona just chatting it up with myself again

I already know exactly what the problem here is Chaos, the center of this massive shitfuck that even paid therapy couldn't fix!

I've probably said that a million times in every one of these stupid fucking recordings... shit I forgot to do that log date ha!

Ahem, log three, topic. Whatever comes out of my fucking mouth.

Kyle presses pause hesitantly.

Oh god.

This is an audio diary, just for spilling Kennys guts.

And he's listening to it.

He should stop. He really, truly, should.

But he doesn't.

Instead he presses play.

Where were we? Right, right, just saying whatever shit that comes to my mind . . . I'm pretty sure that Kyle thinks I can't see him stare at me whenever I fucking bend over or walk away I'm not complaining, I'm flattered really But jeez man just say it outright if you think I have a hot ass

The pause button is slammed this time.

Kyles face is burning up because Kenny knew apparently, he knew that Kyle stared at him at every chance he gets. He feels his stomach twist a bit because oh man, he got caught staring and Kenny didn't even mention. The usage of 'you' makes Kyle feel even more called out on the matter.

He could drop out now, maybe that's the secret, that Kenny knows he stares. He could sleep at night saying that's the thing he's keeping hidden.

I can't talk much if you put everything into consideration But still! Human Kite himself staring at my ass . . . That's fucking awesome if I'm being honest I would hope I'm being honest cause who else is gonna listen to the truth aside from this stupid tape

Like, I'm just doing whatever and I can feel it He is staring holes into me, somedays it's like he's hitting me with those fucking laser eyes! That'd be hilarious actually One second I'm loading a dishwasher and the next my ass is on fire because he couldn't help but stare The Coon would be laughing about that till he's dead

So would Toolshed

And Call Girl

And Mosquito

We'd all get a good laugh out of it

Except for Human Kite

I think he would die of embarrassment if he lit my ass on fire It'd be adorable Bright blue face, ears drooping the slightest bit, maybe his tail would do something I don't know He'd probably say sorry a lot All I know is that after I'm done putting out the fire I'd say "it's fine!" And then I'd think about how cute he looks for weeks on end

Fuck he's absolutely amazing in every sense of the word God, I'm supposed to use these to rant about my shitty family Not gush about my partner in heroics . Oh well

He's perfect! I swear on my mothers grave he is everything That grin he gets whenever he's about to blow someone sky high I can see almost all of his fangs when he does it, which are fucking scary by the way But I'll be damned if it isn't a little bit hot to think about He could kill me and I'll love him He could do absolutely anything to me and I'd still want him so fucking much

And!

And, and, and There's this little thing he does whenever he gets happy Where the weird bits on his tail like, shake? They move, his tail also wags But the frills don't move unless he's actually happy He can fake the wag but he can't fake the frills moving

It's so fucking cute and weird and different I love it

Anyways! This is South Parks number one worst superhero coming to you live from the top of the police station!

. . .

Shit I think someone heard me

Kyle is paralyzed as the tape ends, letting every single word soak into his brain. His tail is doing the thing, it's wagging. Every nerve in his body is alight and he feels his stomach twisting into knots. His claws are digging into the plastic of the tape player as he just stares. His eyes end up resting on his desk, his laptop, with all of his external attachments.

There's a rush to his movements as he grabs it and the oddest, most useless, thing he owns. A reverse recorder of sorts, a simple thing he crafted but never thought he'd have a chance to use. He flips open the top and jams the plug into it's socket before sliding the cassette as gently as possible into the gadget. He should not be doing this, he really shouldn't be doing this.

But he can't keep the cassette to keep hold of the audio, he needs too extract it if he ever wants to hear it again. Which is wrong, and bad, and he absolutely needs to stop but he isn't. He's clicking 'extract' and watching that loading bar fill up gratingly slow.

He places down his laptop gently and balls up the fabrics before leaving. There's a twist of wrong in his gut, but he ignores it as he swings open the washing machine door. He knows how fucking wretched this is, that he'll be absolutely ruined if anyone finds out. He won't be able to live down the shame of having anyone catch word that he knows the secret. That he knows what it is that's keeping Kenny wound up so tightly.

He'll just keep his mouth shut.

Real easy.

Real simple.

-/-/-/-

Kyle might be abusing the knowledge he garnered from the tape, maybe a little bit. He might be curling up next Kenny a little bit more than often, hunched under a flowing purple cape like a cougar despite the height difference. Just maybe he's resting his head atop Kenny's a little bit more than usual, purring a little bit louder whenever he comes into contact with Kenny.

He really doesn't care though, maybe there's a twisted sense of catharsis he gets from the knowledge that yes, it's reciprocated, despite doing nothing to change it. Being awkward homies acting like there's nothing going on below the surface is entirely acceptable and everything that he's wanted from Kenny the second his family landed. Definitely. Absolutely. He didn't imprint. He absolutely did not imprint. He killed off that instinct way back in fourth grade.

Right after he met Kenny.

One second too late. And he is one hundred percent sure everyone in his family can see it, even Ike! Except, the little shit will hold it over him if he gets a chance. Taunting and teasing that Kyle imprinted on his best friend instead of literally anyone else. Of course, the asshole knows better what with every member of his family sporting claws made to rend flesh.

"Kyle!"

The Broflovski perks up a bit at his name being called. Stan sits down across from him, sliding his safety glasses off as he does so.

"You good man?" Stan asked, Kyle nodded.

"I'm great, amazing even," Kyle said, he gestured vaguely as he spoke.

Stan stayed silent for a moment.

Kyle heaved a heavy sigh, "I think I fucked up the first day I landed."

"That was years ago, and just now it's affecting you?" Stan asked. He kicked up his feet to rest on the table.

"Yeah, and Kenny's sort of being an ass. He can trust us, he can trust us more than anyone else in this fucking town!" There's an exasperated exhale as he comes down from the near shout, "How come he's not telling us?"

Stan shrugged, "That's his business, if he doesn't want to tell us, just respect that."

"But-"

"Respect it," Stan pressed, "He might fess up to you first if you just give him time."

"I doubt it," Kyle muttered, barely loud enough for Stan to hear. His tail is snaking around his waist tightly. Tight enough he can feel it sting just a bit.

"Dude. Firstly, calm down," Stan said, Kyle glared at him. The ravenette simply gestured to the prehensile appendage squeezing the air from Kyle's lungs. He drops it, "Secondly, you're his best friend. If he's telling anyone it'll be you."

Kyle gave a hesitant nod, "Yeah, that makes sense."

Stan gave him a grin, comforting, grounding. He dropped down his feet and leaned over the table, holding out a hand. Kyle placed his atop Stan's, his hand was larger. Cyan tinted fingertips tapping along an open palm, "It's fine man, he'll tell us soon enough. It's not like he can keep a secret forever."

"No, you're right man. He can't keep a secret from us forever," Kyle said, a small grin on his face as Stan tightened his grip.

"Now stop stressing so much," Stan said, "Go get some calamari or whatever."

-/-/-/-

Kyle finds the next tape in a vent on top of Unplanned Parenthood while he's on a mission. He's quick to slide it into his pocket before Mysterion can notice. He can't just, jeopardize this discovery, he isn't even sure if he can call it a discovery if he's sure of what it is.

A shoulder collides with him and he stumbles just a bit. His arms are quick to push Mysterion right back up again. There's a crack down his lips and he looks to Kyle, "Get your head in the game, Kite!"

A blast of something or other comes straight at them and there's a brief second of hesitation before Mysterion is tossed out of the way and Kyle is ducking. The blonde is easily caught again and placed down, "Gladly," He takes Mysterion's hand, "Show me how?"

There's a smirk, bone chilling to many but it only makes Kyle's stomach flutter. Mysterion tightens his grip briefly, "Let's go then."

He's quick to launch Kyle forward with a running start, the alien tackling down whichever thug is on them now. Claws detract and tear through silver hued gloves as he snarls, easily dwarfing the goon. They're shaking as Kyle bares his fangs, tail thrashing about and body hunched in a predatory stance. Is he snarling? He is, he's proud of it too as he brings himself to be face to face.

He rears back on his knees, clawed hand raised and ready to slash. He goes to tear open their throat, but a grasp at the back of his collar prevents him. It short circuits him a little bit as the fabric of gloves press against cool skin.

"My friend here isn't exactly human," Mysterion said calmly as he released Kyle's costume. He stayed still and glanced up to Mysterion.

There's a shaky nod from the thug.

"Now, you have two options," Mysterion said. His tongue briefly slid between lips to capture the blood seeping from the crack. He circled around the dropped person a bit more, "Number one, you leave. You run to Canada, and never bother us again."

No response.

"Number two, Human Kite kills you. Right here," Mysterion snaps his fingers and as practiced Kyle gnashes his fangs with a growl, "Right now."

"I'll run! I'll leave!" The convict practically screamed.

"Fine, Kite?" Mysterion said. Claws come down atop the goons eye, deep enough to scar and maybe to go blind in one eye. Kyle stands up, red contrasting the cyan of his fingertips, he watches them run and revels in it.

Once they're far off, darting down staircases and running through the streets, does Mysterion take a seat. He drops down on the roof and Kyle takes a seat beside him, frilled tail wrapping around Mysterion's waist. A hand comes to push back the hood and he leans his head on Kyle's shoulder.

"Dude, being a hero is so sucky," Kenny said with a light laugh, "I just wanna get killed sometimes."

Kyle gives a hum.

"I just come back anyways, but we seriously haven't faced anyone actually dangerous in years," Kenny said, gesturing vaguely as he spoke to drive in the point.

"Definitely," Kyle said, Kenny dropped down onto his back. Kyle leans back to meet him in eye contact.

"I miss when this shit was fun," Kenny said, a sigh on his voice as he spoke.

"I think that most of us do," Kyle answered with. His tongue, forked, flickered out for a brief second.

"You're just like a snake man," Kenny said.

Cyan rose to Kyle's face, "The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Like, your tongue. It looks like a snakes, forked," Kenny said, he did the spock thing with his hands as if to display forked. He stuck out his tongue at the same time, "It's really fucking cool. You got some scales right? And those weird little ridges on your back? All of those are snake-y things, Kyle."

"Yeah, cause I'm a freakish little dude," Kyle said extravagantly, as if to make his point he gave a set jazz hands, gloves off to expose to smallest bit of cyan webbing. He sticks out his tongue between too sharp teeth, "Absolutely monstrous."

"I'd hardly say 'little' is the word for you, ya six foot monster," Kenny taunted back, "And I love ya for that man."

Kyle barely beats down the intensifying flush on his face, "Well, won't stop me from being at least a little bit snake like. It's more fun to be a weird creature than a human anyways," He drops down and nudges Kenny's shoulder with his head until he sits up and nudges off the silvery cape. A hand rests in a tangle of red curls for a brief moment before the alien curls around Kenny's back.

"You're also very... Cat. Very feline. Very not human," Kenny said, words teasing but loving nonetheless.

He rested his hand on top of Kyle's head, gently sifting through a sea of red. He leaned back on his friends torso a little bit as he brought a second hand to run through Kyle's hair. He shifted around a bit to rest almost on his knees, facing Kyle just a bit more. His side pressed to Kyle's lower rib cage, his hands didn't leave the redheads hair for a second. He slid down his friends face just a bit, callused thumbs briefly brushing over the ever sensitive auricle fins he had. Were they fins? Not quite, just cyan flares at the base of pointed ears.

He let his fingers scritch just past the back of Kyle's ears, resting atop the buzzed patch of hair. Olive green eyes fluttered shut as Kenny just rubbed right there, the sweet spot. He slumps into Kenny's hands, chin resting at the heel of his palm (he can't see the gentle smile on Kenny's face).

The blonde nearly explodes when Kyle starts to purr. It starts soft, but it slowly grows, shaking Kenny down to his core with his side pressed against Kyle's diaphragm. Or his lungs. Or his whatever it is that makes that wonderful rumbling sound giving Kenny enough serotonin to live forever. He already will, but this is making that eternity sound a lot more bearable. Then he hears a thudding- three, soft thumps before it resets and happens again. His tail is wagging, Kyle really likes being scratched behind the ears apparently.

Kenny's pretty sure he's falling asleep with the pads of his finger, despite being rough and scratchy, gently rubbing behind his ears. He lifts his fingers for a second too long and Kyle opens up his eyes, "Why'd you stop?" He sounds groggy and disappointed, he stops purring.

Kenny picks up the motions, "You were falling asleep," He tosses his cape over Kyle's form.

Kyle lazily blinks, one eye, then the other. He shrugs the best he can, "And?"

"Good point," Kenny said on a hum as he twirls a finger through curls, a light tug.

Kyle's tail starts to thud again and he's sure the afterglow of this will never fade.

-/-/-/-

Kyle's feeling a little bit guilty about tuning into this tape.

Not nearly enough to make him stop though.

He drops down on his bed comfortably, he doesn't even bother to put in his earbuds. His parents are out for the weekend, his brother is at Kenny's to hang out with Karen, presumably fishing. He knows that he's bound to get a call from Ike sometime in the night for a ride, for Ike, Karen, and maybe even Kenny if it's really rough. But, he'll have enough time to listen to the entirety of it.

He presses play.

I think shits getting worse I'm not using these things properly I should be using these for literally anything else! I could talk about how much I worry about my sister, or my money problems, or whatever!

But I'm still using these tapes for just a few little things

Mostly talking about Kite Not gonna use his actual name this time cause someone heard me last week I'm pretty sure I ran them out of town For good

Do I feel bad about that?

Absolutely not

Gotta protect a mans privacy, even if that means blood and intimidation Which uh, I swear it didn't involve blood This time at least

Now, log number... nine? I'm pretty sure this is number nine I would go back and check 'em all out again, but I lost one of them No clue where the little fucker went But it's gone

Kyle pauses the tape. There's missing ones- he needs to find it before Kenny does. He can just put it back later, like he'll do with this one after he's done thoroughly listening to it. He put back the last one, slid it back into the hidden pocket and acted like it never happened.

Of course, since then he's always checked the hidden pocket whenever he got a chance to do so. But, he's been unlucky in terms of finding any up until this one which leaves him with the idea that the rest have been planted around town. He shuts off his rampant train of thought- he is not going to try and sleuth out all of the tapes. He still has some respect for Kenny's privacy, he still has some intention to keep their friendship intact, and most importantly, he still has full intention of never acting on any of what he hears in said tapes.

That would give away that he's been listening to them, a risk he can't take. He clicks the button again.

Look, I always knew Kite was a weird one Everyone does The guys alien, so we cut him some slack on human things that go mostly unspoken

Conversational subtext, call frequency, having beer on ice- simple shit

And in turn, we also try to learn a bit about his species culture I don't even know if species is the right word Does that make me racist? Are aliens even a race to be racist against? Could I even discriminate if only... Three, exist on earth?

So many questions, so little time

Of course, there isn't exactly a lot about his kind I doubt there's a lot of his kind His mom keeps making quips about how all of them would come to earth if it was easier to integrate But honestly? If you just got rid of the alien extremities I would not be able to tell that Kite isn't human

Same with his parents The lot of them blend in perfectly Don't know why she stresses so much And even if they didn't, they have a human to vouch for them A bunch of humans actually

There's a brief pause where Kyle let's himself think about that for a moment. He's never had a chance to think about it before. He doesn't really dwell on it for longer than a minute, flipping himself onto his stomach. His tail lazily sways back and forth as he listens/

I think I got off point there

Allow me to relocate and get back to what I was supposed to be talking about

. . .

There is a fucking line, Kite! You stay on your side of the line! You can't just walk over to my side! Just waltz on over like you own the fucking place! And just, act like it's no big deal! You just sit down right next to me. Like. Right next to me, are thighs are fucking pressed against each other and you lean into me! You just, push your head up against my shoulder like a fucking cat until I give you attention

Which I always do I'm weak

And then you start purring, and your tail does a dumb little wag! And I'm sitting there, begging and pleading, that I don't do something dumb You're putty in my fucking hands Asking me to just shower you in attention! I do, I always do- I always sit there and give you attention

Whatever it is you want I'd give it to you I'd do it for you Anything, for you

The voice softens just a bit, lowering itself. He sounded so very, very mad. Not even mad, just agitated. His voice is heady, wrapped into the narrative he's spinning so accurately. Kyle feels his stomach flip at the words droning so deeply into his skull. The notions made his skin tingle, heart pulsating so very fast he wouldn't be shocked if it exploded all at once.

But no! I stay on my side of the line Like a good boy

Because I don't wanna freak him out Or scare him off

I feel like such a fucking perv And I am a bit pervy I am fully aware of the fact that I am known to stare if someone fine is walking by

But.

To stare at Kite? To want Kite?

It definitely caught me off guard

And he isn't human He doesn't get it I touch him I feel like I'm dirtying him Even if it's just a high five! I have too much on mind for this shit

I see that idiot and you know what I wanna to do?

Do you even wanna to know what I want do to him?

Kyle slams the pause button, he can feel his nerves shoot up in shock. His tail has went from lazily thumping back and forth to wagging like that of a dogs. The minute ridges on his back are shaking, just a bit. He may be mildly cold-blooded, but right now he really can't tell.

He looks down at his hands and they're entirely cyan, normally just a little bit at the tips. The hue shoots up his forearms. He can practically hear his heartbeat pounding in his chest, the sound bangs back and forth in his skull.

Oh.

Oh he's opened up a massive can of worms with this tape.

He keeps listening

I'd just

.

I would-

.

Fuck man I can't even say it out loud I don't know what I was thinking!

I'm sitting on top of city hall and I was about to go off about how I'd fuck him!

Could I even fuck him? Are the species compatible? Do aliens even have reproductive organs?

They must They totally do How else do they, how do they reproduce? Eggs?

. . . Nasty

But I would fucking worship him I would do whatever he asked me too Even if he's too unversed in human reproduction to ask me too fuck him up I'd still do what he asks me too

You wanna go out at that new pizza place that charges by the minute? Let's go darling

You wanna go check out the newest arcade cabinet? Baby, the cars already running

You want me to get your logo as a tramp stamp? I might not do that one actually . That's a lie I'd do anything for him

. . .

God, I'm such a mess I need real therapy

Kyle has long since buried his face in a pillow to muffle his screams (although they're closer to high pitched squeals) and cover his ears. He feels like he's running a fever, a really, really bad fever. Every square inch of his body is on fire and he can't care much that he's clawing into his pillow, downy soft feathers spilling from gouges.

He's drawing a blank.

A complete and utter blank.

He hears the click signalling it's over and he feels his stomach twist in regret.

It's a lot easier to hide that you know something if said something isn't... that, whole thing that just happened. His ears are ringing a little bit as the words ping around the sides of his head, like a game of Pong. The pillow is still keeping his face covered as he rolls onto his back, then his side, then his front, and his side again, knees pressed flush against the wall. Fuck, he feels like he's sixteen all over again, and that was just three years ago! He's too young to be having moments like this.

He mechanizes his breathing, eyes wide open as he stares at the darkness of the space themed pillow case in front of him. Sheer darkness with the occasional blip of a lighter hue. His tail is still thrashing, whipping back and forth madly, he's sure it would scuff the wall if it hit it.

He has to come down from his safe space eventually. Even if that safe space is merely a pillow pressed to his face.

He tosses aside the pillow and rolls onto his back and just stares at the ceiling.

His entire existence has officially been flipped on it's head.

He hears his cell phone ring and he reaches for it, answering before even checking whose calling. He gives a cracked, "Hello?"

"Dude are you good? You sound like you've just been crying," Came Kenny's voice, concern laid on thick.

Kyle nearly hangs upon the spot but instead he bites his tongue and doesn't say a word.

"Look man, dads being a bit of an ass, and Ike was wondering if you could come pick him up for the umpteenth time," Kenny said. He gave a hum, "Could Karen tag along?"

"Totally man," Kyle answered with as he sat up, trying so hard to still his tail. It swiped back and forth atop the blankets, he felt a little bit wrong about not telling Kenny what he knew right now. But, this is a bad time to do that, any Kyle can lie his way out of it again. He hesitates before adding, "You need an escape too?"

"It'd be nice, but you already sound tired. Did I catch you at a bad time? Were you perhaps 'jacking it', my fine, alien friend?" Kenny asked tauntingly, his smugness was palatable.

Kyle wished he could just say 'yeah' and move on instead of carefully think over his next words. Life would much simpler if his head didn't catch on the usage of 'fine' in referral to himself. His mouth felt dry but he choked out some words anyways. "Dude, what makes you think I even have a dick? I got that weird ass alien biology, don't I?""

There's a laugh on the other side, "Hey man, not all of my shots are gonna be spot on. But really, if you don't want me over I won't come," There's an tenderness to his voice and the contrast to the almost gritty and desperate tone he had on the tape gives Kyle whiplash.

"You can if you want too, but I'll probably pass out pretty fast," Kyle lied. He'd just lay in bed, wide awake, for potentially hours with Kenny on the floor beside him. That's how it usually went at least.

"Going full on feral like you did earlier takes a lot out of you, doesn't it?" Kenny asked.

Silence.

"Silent treatment, did I strike a nerve bud? Regardless, we'll be out front in ten," Kenny said, "I can make you some hot coco if you'd like."

"That'd be nice," Was Kyle's weak response.

-/-/-/-

The night was a lot more tense than either of them wanted it to be.

They usually shared a hug before actually getting into bed and trying to pass out. And if not that then Kyle would subtly demand some time to just, co-exist, in very close proximity to each other. In even more minimal situations, they would just share some words of 'love you bro' and call it a night.

None of that transpired.

"I can just go home man," Kenny offered at the break of two AM.

Kyle rolled over to the edge of his bed, leaning over it just a bit, "It's fine."

"Is something wrong? Cause like, you've just been acting... off, lately," Kenny said gently as he propped himself on his elbows, both resting on his pillow.

"Nothings wrong," Kyle said, he crossed his arms and rested his chin on them, "I am gonna ask my parents some questions when they get back."

"About what?" Kenny asked quietly, as though he were afraid of shattering the night if he spoke too loud. The navy walls cast deep blue across the room, reflecting the moonlight in a comfortable darkness.

Kyle stayed silent.

"Alien stuff?" Kenny asked.

Kyle nodded, "Yeah, alien stuff."

"Fun," Kenny answered with a scoff. He dropped back down again and turned to face Kyle, Kyle's bed frame at least, "But for real, you're just- somethings going on in your head. I can tell."

Kyle shrugged, "It's stupid."

"I won't judge man, you're my best friend," Kenny said. And he said it in such a way that for a brief second Kyle forgot about the tapes entirely.

"How are you supposed to talk to someone about something you don't want too?" Kyle asked, trying to withhold and give equal amounts of information.

Kenny paused, "Work out the words in your head. Practice once or twice, maybe even record it. Figure out what needs to be reworked. Write it out if you must- just get it out of your head."

Kyle nodded.

"Trust me man, the second it's out of your head and off your shoulders, life will be easier," Kenny explained reassuringly, "Even if it's only for a second or two."

"Thanks bro," Kyle said quietly.

"Least I can do," Kenny said.

There's a beat of hesitance, "Love you man."

"Love you too," And then Kenny turns away from him, tugging the blanket up to his shoulders.

-/-/-/-

Kyle's pretty sure that Kenny is onto him at this rate, but, he tries to ignore the terrible slithering sensation that he's been caught.

He just focuses on whatever comes next.

This time it's none other than The Coon himself deciding he needs to bring something up with Kyle. Silence drenches the room in the worst way possible as he sits across from the hybrid. Furred ears are swiveled to face Kyle and it makes him feel impossibly nervous, he knows that Cartman can hear his heartbeat. Can it hear pick up speed when Stan sits down beside him, even more so when Wendy joins.

And then Clyde, Timothy, Jimmy- all on one side of Cartman.

Tweek and Craig sit down on the side with Wendy and Stan, Scott as well.

"We know you figured it out, Kyle," Cartman said calmly, tone frigid in a way that makes Kyle feel paralyzed. The hybrid clasps his hands together in front of himself on the table.

"Figured what out?" Kyle snaps back with, trying his hardest to muster the usual snarkiness he has around Cartman. Bute he fails, miserably at that. He just sounds pathetic, grasping at straws if nothing else.

"Don't play dumb," Wendy said, she sounded sharp. She may be tough as nails, and normally Kyle respects that, admires it even, but when it's directed towards him? He gets why people run from Call Girl.

"Why in the cosmos should I tell the likes of you?" Kyle answered with, feebly trying to defend Kenny's privacy.

A privacy that he had already thoroughly breached and ravaged, alongside the unspoken trust they had. He had wrecked it, ruined it, destroyed it- but he could salvage it from the fact Kenny didn't know that Kyle knew.

"You can trust us, Kyle. We're your best friends," Clyde said. And he was right, he was so right.

Kyle's tail snaked itself around the chair leg, "Really guys, I don't know what you're talking about-"

"His secret, Kyle," Cartman said, "Tell us."

"I," He hesitated, "I can't."

"You've already fucked up your relationship with him enough, Kyle. I got Wendy to do a deep dive on your species, and of the few things she could find, she discovered this," Cartman said. He raised a folder, an awful beige and orange hue, and slid it over to Kyle.

The alien hesitantly took it. It was three pages thick, presumably doubled sided. He opened it and skimmed through the headings, he knew every single trait in and out. He paused at the highlighted one, "You're joking."

"This is serious man," Stan said, "We wouldn't just accuse you of imprinting of Kenny without any basis."

"That's stupid. He's my best friend. That's all, that's our dynamic- the kind of dynamic that rakes in loads of cash," Kyle defended with, hoping that pressing on Cartman's one pressure point would make him let up. He slammed the folder shut and slid it back, "Even if I did imprint on him, it would ruin the franchise and never be reciprocated."

"Then tell us what the secret is, you have nothing to lose, no? Just a friend, they come and go on earth," Cartman said. He was calling Kyle's bluff, did he even realize it? He probably did, or if he didn't, he'd snoop until he did.

"Ask Professor Chaos instead, he knows more," Kyle said, trying so, so hard to deflect. The tension pooling everywhere under his skin was agonizing. He needed an out so bad, he needed an escape so, so fucking bad.

Cartman scoffs, "Already done, he said he was sworn to some oath of secrecy, sent us to you."

Kyle stays silent, forcing eye contact with the sleaze in front of the him. The trash eater himself, scraping tactics from the bottom of the barrel.

"Just tell us, no harm will come from it," Cartman said sternly.

"It'll destroy my friendship with Kenny," Kyle snarled out.

"No new harm will come from it, we all know the damage has been done my friend, it's just yet to be discovered," Cartman said, words cutting into Kyle like a knife.

He bites his tongue, Cartman's right, "Give me a week to collect more information on the subject, then I'll report back with the news."

There's a smug and satisfied grin on Cartman's face as he leans back, "See? That wasn't so hard, was now?"

Kyle stands up and pushes away from the table, "I'm going."

"Don't forget about your patrol with Mysterion tomorrow evening, Kite!" Cartman calls out, head leaned back on his chairs backrest.

Kyle's tail is swaying angrily, "Fuck off."

His fangs are grinding against each other as he storms off, if it weren't for the fact he was in suit he would punt the closest chihuahua like a football. Or do something else just as dumb. Maybe kick a fire hydrant and hope it doesn't dent, or punch a tree. Something to make the tense feeling uncoil, to let himself just relax for one second.

He doesn't deserve that though.

He's been uprooting the very foundations of his friendship with Kenny, all because of some morbid curiosity. And Kenny doesn't even fucking know. Kyle is just getting away with it cause he's being awfully slick with how careful he is to put everything back exactly where he found it.

The worst part is how long it's taken for him to feel genuine guilt about it if nothing else. He's such a fucking snake, biting onto his relationship with Kenny and refusing to let go. Sinking fangs deeper and deeper, searching for more even though it's cannibalizing itself. And the first taste is all that it takes to get someone hooked, shame that the thing he got a taste of was metaphorical guts. Kenny just hasn't realized he's stuck in this ouroboros of a relationship.

Despite that, a really twisted and messed up part of him persists in wondering when he'll find the next tape.

-/-/-/-

He finds the next tape almost a week after the interrogation.

Although, we're using the term 'find' rather loosely here. Instead it sort of, fell directly into his lap. And despite knowing better and not wanting to go any further, he still held onto it and didn't let go.

"Thanks for washing my gear man," Kenny said as he stood at the door, Kyle held the bundle of purple fabrics in hand.

He gave a smile, as convincing as he could manage, "No problem man, least I can do."

"See ya tomorrow bro," Kenny said before pivoting on a heel to leave which struck Kyle as odd. The blonde usually loitered for a little bit, chatted casually about whatevers on his head. But none of that came today.

Still, Kyle closed the door and walked down to the luandry room before shaking out the purple. There was that clatter, plastic against unfinished flooring, it was just concrete at the moment. He tossed in the clothing and flipped on the spin cycle with a bit of lavender scented soap. He slid down the front of the washing machine and stared at the tape.

He shouldn't.

He really shouldn't.

He does.

He grips the tape and slams it into the player and hits the play button before he can further question his actions.

I know you're hearing this, Kyle I don't know how long you've been listening to my diary for But it's you It has to be you

Kyle swears his heart stops dead in its tracks. He barely registers that the grit Kenny forces when he's acting out Mysterion has disappeared. That this is just Kenny now.

Who else would be messing with my tapes They're never just right when you put them back You leave scuff marks on the plastic I can fingerprint things, Kyle

I planted this one And log number twelve The rest though? I don't know how many of those you've heard

I'll admit I never meant for number three to fall into your hands I just thought you'd be kind enough to not listen in

. . . How wrong I was

And it's a real shame too You better not have told the rest of the team, Kyle I will make you regret every single breath you've taken if you have

But, that's only if I can get that intel from the gang Do be warned that Cartman is very easy to persuade It won't take me much longer than ten minutes to make him crack

The rest will go even faster Although, I'd give Wendy much longer Craig? He'll be shattering in seven minutes, tops Tweek? Three, maybe four Stan? He trusts me more than you'd expect, he won't even fight

I hope I was right about you being smart, Kyle

Kyle's blood turns to ice.

He is so fucked.

At least he didn't tell Cartman.

You already know my big secret And you have two options, Kyle

Option one: Meet me at Starks Pond tonight to confirm how you feel about the contents of these logs. I'm probably sitting there right now

Option two: Don't. This horrible relationship limbo can remain just like this, on my end I've been stuck here for years

Look, Kyle, what you've done here You're forcing my hand I don't have any other options

Do what you want

I clearly can't stop you

The tape is flung from the cassette player to the other side of the room, it hits the wall and cracks. A thousand regrets pool in the pit of Kyle's stomach and he wants to vomit. He also wants to curl up in a ball and die. Or live in Cartman's basement instead, those are all good options.

But in the same breath...

He's being given a choice when he was sure this whole thing he had with Kenny would simply implode, collapse in on itself and die. He has one chance to make this better than it is. He'll never be able to make this right, but, he can at least try and reinforce the breaking pieces before it's entirely broken.

He picks himself up off the ground and starts on his way up the stairs. He freezes at the door, is he gonna do this? Is he gonna go out to Starks Pond and talk like he should've far too long ago?

Yeah, yeah he fucking is.

The real question is if he's actually gonna say whats been fueling his co-dependency with Kenny for so long.

He isn't sure if he'll manage to fess up to the stupidest biological function he has. He'll try, he'll make an attempt to explain exactly what's been conspiring inside of his head without him even realizing for so many years. He'll at the very least get out a couple words to explain the dumbest thing he's been roped into by his own genetics and unfortunate timing.

-/-/-/-

The ever-present snow and ice crunches under Kyle's boots, but that's the last thing he's focusing on. His eyes are trained ahead of hi as he walks along the edge of Starks Pond. His tail is still, a very rare occurrence.

When he reaches the edge of the pond that Kenny's standing at he's lost his words. The blonde is just staring at him, looking for tells. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his orange jacket, bright orange, pumpkin orange. Kyle can't focus on anything.

"It worked, you nosy little shit," Kenny said, words weaponized with ease.

"Yeah, it worked," Kyle said. He took a step closer, "I'm sorry," and then another, "For everything really," A third step and Kenny tenses, flinching back just a bit. In turn Kyle steps back.

"For what? Did you tell them?" Kenny asked defensively. He sounded scared more than anything else.

"I know better than that Kenny, they did interrogate me though," Kyle explained stiffly.

Kenny gives a hum, "That gets that problem out of the way."

Kyle nods, "Yeah, that it does."

"So, you listened to three, nine, twelve, and seven, right?" Kenny asked.

"Sorry," Kyle said.

"At least have the decency to dignify me with an answer man, you just fucking ruined me. I had to record that final tape five times before it was good enough to use. I swear to god, normally I'd cut you some slack and now you know why, but not this time," Kenny spat sharply, "So, you listened to those tapes, right?"

"Yep, the four that you listed," Kyle said, his attempt to stay professional just made him sound stiff and disjointed.

This time Kenny faltered before speaking, "And your opinions on them?"

"Positive," Kyle answered with faster than a bullet. His tail flicked as he spoke.

"Anything else?" Kenny asked, desperation heavy on his voice. Thick like molasses.

"I think I imprinted on you- which means something different then it does for the ducks!" Kyle was quick to backtrack on his words, Kenny just looked intrigued, "My species has a 'thats the one' instinct. If we find the right person, it activates, and according to my parents at least, it's usually subliminal. When we landed, I imprinted on you- so, to me, you're the one. And for all I know, unless you die and stay dead, that stupid ass hormonal flux won't go down."

Kenny stayed silent.

"I'm stuck fixating on you until one of us dies, my kind mates for life, and unless I submit myself to experimental science the animal part of my brain is gonna keep screaming that you're mine. Which is kind of annoying, and dumb, and gets in the way- and I didn't even realize it until I found that first tape. I've just been infatuated with you since grade four and I don't know how to make it stop," Kyle spilled, some words meshing together in a blend of syllables. Cyan progressively rose to his face the entire time he spoke. He dropped down to the ground, facing away from Kenny and towards the water, "I'm so fucking sorry Kenny."

Kenny took a few tentative steps closer to where Kyle sat, his tail lay curled around him yet limp on the ground. His ears were drooping a bit and he looked ashamed of himself, a little bit distraught at that. "I'm not gonna disown you, Kyle. That'd just be fucking stupid."

"I didn't mean to ruin your life man, you could've been scoring. God, I probably scared off so many people without even realizing it," Kyle choked out weakly. He pressed his nails into the heel of his palm, "I swear I didn't mean to imprint on you. I swear man- I can try and suppress it."

"It's fine, Kyle," Kenny said as he crouched down beside Kyle. He bumped their shoulders together.

No response.

Okay, that was worrying. It struck a particular chord in the depths of Kenny's chest. One very, very similar to the 'my sister is hurt' chord, which unlocks a specific subset of reactions. Those reactions include:

A: Unbridled violence on whoever caused this B: Giving tried and true advice C: Terrible jokes and playful punches D: Just listening with or without a glass of warm milk

None of those options seem optimal, so Kenny improvises.

"I mean, the whole 'imprint' thing doesn't bother me," Kenny said as he sat down behind Kyle. His knees were bent and he rested his head on Kyle's shoulder.

"Dude I fucking ruined your life," Kyle got out quietly, his tail snapped to punctuate his sentence. It wrapped itself around Kenny's thigh, just above his knee.

"Beg to differ," Kenny said as he slowly raised his hands up. He gently placed them at the base of Kyle's skull, he tensed but didn't move. Kenny slowly rubbed circles in just behind Kyle's ears in the hopes it would calm him down.

Kyle leaned back into Kenny a bit, "I'm so fucking sorry."

"Half of those tapes were me going off about how much I adore you and want you, Kyle. I know you have a brain in there, put it to some use," Kenny said, a small grin on his face as he spoke. He could feel Kyle start to purr, "Just think about it."

Kyle paused for a moment, to just let all of the data sink in. He felt like a total idiot when the conclusion formed in his head, "Oh."

"Yeah," Kenny answered with, "Good thing."

"I'm such a fucking idiot," Kyle said with a laugh on his voice. He squeezed a bit tighter around Kenny's leg, constricting, like a snake, "Can't wait to confirm my families suspicions."

"Do they think we're a thing?" Kenny asked as he combed his fingers through Kyle's hair.

Kyle nodded, "Probably, apparently I've been signalling some very, very vulgar and subtle things to you with my tail for the past six years. I didn't even notice my tail was moving half the time, but it was- mom and dad had to explain that to me which was fun."

"Did you stop?" Kenny asked.

"Naw, definitely not," Kyle answered with smugly, "You never knew anyways."

Kenny gives a hum, "I would say I was giving some vulgar signs myself, but humans don't have a good way to do that discretely."

"I've noticed," Kyle said, "I can read half of you like books with all the tells each of you have."

"Guess Ill have to be even more mysterious so the guys don't catch on," Kenny said as Kyle started to purr, the vibrations rapidly picking up in volume. It felt nice.

"They aren't idiots dude," Kyle said, "They'll catch on soon enough."

"Or we could just walk in there holding hands one day, wait for someone to point it out and go 'yeah we're dating now' and just act like nothing has changed," Kenny said, "Even if we don't go to the movies or eat out at restaurants- that'd be funny."

"We'll see what happens first," Kyle answered with. He holds his breath for a beat, "Love you, Kenny," There's a veritable depth to the words now.

"Love you, Kyle," Kenny answered with the same as he always has, Kyle just never noticed the subtext. He presses a brief kiss to Kyle's forehead.

-/-/-/-

Stan is the first one too notice that Kyle and Kenny are different. A good different though. They're more synced up on the field, better at silent communication, just predicting each other in general. It definitely benefits the team as a whole for the crime-fighting, but whether or not the development is good for the franchise is a whole other story.

He's the first one to ask around about it too.

"Hey Wendy, Kyle and Kenny-"

"Are acting off? I noticed," Wendy said, cutting Stan short with ease. She glanced up from her phone, "I'm already scouring about for details."

"Anything actually come up?" Stan asked.

Wendy shook her head, "Nope, you'd assume that there'd be something; but most searches are coming up dry."

"Worth a shot," Stan said with a sigh.

"You should go ask Craig, he's pretty close to Kenny," Wendy offered up and before she could finish her sentence Stan was looking for Craig.

He was sitting at his desk as usual, cruddy costume and all.

"Craig whats up with Kyle and Kenny?" Stan asked.

And without skipping a beat Craig answered with, "They're homosexuals, Stan."

"What?" Came Stan's dead response, words hollow and in disbelief.

Craig nodded to the aforementioned duo walking in, "Go ask why they're holding hands."

Stan faltered.

"Listen, if you're afraid I'm right you should've asked out Kyle sooner to avoid it," Craig blatantly accused, the words forced the air from Stan's lungs like a sucker punch.

Now aware that Craig is going to keep mentally gut punching him, Stan just heads on off to Kyle and Kenny. They are indeed holding hands, and Kyle's tail is wrapped around Kenny's thigh, just above his knee.

"Look, you two," Stan began with.

"Yeah man, what's up?" Kyle asked, and he's hiding a grin poorly. He's sure that it adds to the confusion Stan is displaying.

Kenny was right.

This is pretty fucking funny.

"How come you guys are holding hands?" Stan asked quietly.

"Kyle imprinted on me," Kenny said bluntly, "We're dating now."

"How long has this been going on for?" Stan asked.

Kyle shrugged, "A month, we were waiting for you guys to notice."

Craig gives a smug, "Told you so!" from his desk.

"Were you guys betting on what was happening?" Kenny asked, an undertone of a snicker to his voice.

"No, even if we did Craig would've won," Stan said spitefully.

Kyle grins a bit, "No need to be sour man, you can still break the news to Cartman, I'm sure it'll be hysterical to see his reaction."

"Dude. Let's go find Cartman," Kenny said eagerly, he was practically vibrating where he stood. Hes grinning that gap tooth grin, "I need to see his reaction right now."

"Wanna tag along?" Kyle asked, holding out a hand to Stan.

He refrained from taking it, "Totally man."

Craig sidles up beside the three of them, "I got a camera to record it."

[multi-fandomsfreak]

Hello, I’m new to your blog and saw some of your Xenophanes and MX content. I recently saw your new post about GB and I wanted to request something with him and Turmoil. So on the Mario’s Madness wiki it says the Turmoil and GB are friends. So I thought what if GB and Turmoil were also friends with reader. So Reader is a demonic entity that takes the form of Rosalina (From Super Mario Galaxy). Reader is mostly a chill and mature person (When they’re not murdering their victims.) but sometimes they join in on Turmoil and GB’s schemes. Reader has some of Rosalina’s powers. (Such as Flight/Float, Telekinesis, Teleportation, and Telepathy.) I can only imagine the amount of shenanigans that the three of them can come up with. That’s all I can think of right now.. ☺️

(If it’s okay can you use They/Them Pronouns for Reader please.)

Also here’s the proof:

Being Best Pals With GB And Turmoil

Hey there! Thanks for the ask!

I actually knew that the two of them were friends from looking at the wiki as well. For some reason I was slightly surprised even though it makes sense that they would but regardless I really like it. Hope you enjoy reading this. ~Blaze/Dawn

Pronouns: They/Them

Warning: ⚠️Mentions Of Murdering + Corpses⚠️

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: GB + Turmoil

Proofread: ❌

Credits: Art by Marco Antonio on Twitter + Banner by zhsoftly on Pinterest

———————————

- Honestly I can imagine it being a field day being friends with both GB and Turmoil. Most of it coming from GB and with Turmoil just following along because why not. I like to think that you met GB before Turmoil. You managed to meet GB while you were on your usual rampage of gaining more victims just to play with. Since your character mostly resides in comet observatory which is in space you often find yourself going to earth once in a while which is the time you earn your victims who were foolish enough to fall for your power. One of these times you happened to glance upon the monochrome plumber. Well more like he happened to glance upon you.

- You see as GB just happened to stumble upon you while you were murdering your most recent victim and decided that he was going to bother you. He didn’t have any specific reason except he thought that your powers were interesting. Besides that he just thought ‘I don’t know who they are but I’m going to be they’re friend now’ that was it. So he went up to you admittingly catching you a bit off guard and immediately started a conversation with you as if you didn’t just murdered someone.

+ “Why hello there? Haven’t seen you here before, who are you?” GB said in a sly tone yet cautious although curious to who you were he still had his guard up in case he needed to defend himself. However despite being caught off guard by him you were honestly impressed by his carefree attitude and his natural approach to you. It seems like he doesn’t fear you and that caught your interest. You managed to immediately calm yourself before giving GB a slight smile while looking down at him. “I could say the same as well. Aren’t you aware that I just murdered someone, aren’t you afraid?” You asked curiously why he isn’t running away like everyone to which he gave you a slight chuckle “I’m flattered that you think I'd be scared. Trust me I’ve seen stuff like this” He said looking up at you through his cap with a smug look on his face. You raised an eyebrow at him before speaking up “you’ve seen stuff like this? You caught my interest” You gave him a smile in return before seeing him bring out a hand and started to shake yours “Same here, you can call me GB. If you please be so kind as to tell me your name?” “I’m [Name] pleasure to meet you GB” you said, shaking his hand in return.

- Pretty much since then you two have been inseparable. Like partners in crime. If you were doing something he had to do it as well. If people saw one or the other they always prepared themselves to see the other. That's how much you two hang out with each other. You two just naturally get along despite you mostly being mature for who you were and with how GB is. Guess it’s just how it works.

- For how you met Turmoil you and GB managed to find him in the forest that he resides alongside his recently eaten victims. At first the two of you were surprised to see him. Was a little thing like him able to cause something like this? Apparently so. If you had to admit he was actually kind of cute.

+ You and GB gave each other confused looks as you saw Turmoil staring off into space like he wasn’t even acknowledging you two. Little did the two of you know he technically did acknowledge you two just in a different way, through sound and smell. But later on you two did learn that he was blind. “Are you two my enemies?” The voice that came out of Turmoil surprised the two of you. His voice was gargled like he had swallowed a bunch of razors. Out of you and GB you were the one to speak up first not knowing how your pal may instigate him. You lowered yourself to meet him at eye level before saying “I promise you, whoever you are we aren’t your enemies. Tell me, did you cause this mess?” You could see GB copying your movements lowering himself before asking “yeah did you? If you did then I’ve got to admit I’m impressed” before you know it Turmoil gave off a smile. Nothing sinister, just a genuine smile it was like he was happy to meet you two “oh that’s great, I’m glad to meet new people as long as you two aren’t enemies you won’t end up like them” ‘them’ referring to the multiple koopas, galoombas and wigglers that were scattered across the ground. You gave him a nod before asking “I’m curious what is your name, little one?” “Turmoil you can call me Turmoil” you gave him a smile although he couldn’t see it he could sense it that you were “what’s yours and the man standing next to you names?” He asked to which you told your name and GB’s name to him. It seemed like GB was pleased to see someone Turmoil.

- You thought that it was chaotic with just you and GB. Well prepare yourself because it’s going to be a lot more chaotic with Turmoil around. Although the three of you have the same motives it seems like GB and Turmoil have the same personality while you were calm and mature when you aren’t claiming lives like them but you don’t mind it. In fact you find it more fun with the two of them compared to others. Do you know that one meme where a dude is struggling to keep his children with their harness on? Well that’s basically the three of you with you occasionally being the dude and the other two being the children.

- I like to think that Turmoil kind of acts like a dog around you. I’m pretty sure that it’s canon or maybe was canon that although he still has some humanity left in him he still can go overboard. You tend to notice him following you around. Due to him being blind he often relies on echolocation and his great sense of smell to know not just you or GB but pretty much anyone especially his enemies. Although he can and does that he also prefers to stick around either you or GB just for some familiarity. But he can manage just by himself.

- Be prepared to look down at the two of them all the time. If I’m correct Rosalina has a canon height of 7ft or at least around 7ft and with you being a demonic entity you can make yourself even taller than that if you wanted to. I like to think that GB has the same height as Mario, possibly shorter but only by an inch or so but in his true form is only a bit taller than his non evil counterpart but not taller than you. Obviously Turmoil will be shorter than the both of you combined so regardless of Rosalina’s canon height or your height you’ll have to look down at him no matter what. To be honest even though you're his best pal he kind of hates the height difference between you and him. He’s often the jokester between the three of you but as soon as you tease him about his height he gets pouty. Kinda funny if you imagine it. For Turmoil he couldn’t care less. He’s pretty much used to people being taller than him. Plus I don’t think he realise how tall you are unless you tell him directly but regardless even before then he has some sort of knowledge that you were tall. Sometimes when he is bored he likes to climb on you and rest on your shoulders to which you just let him.

- Since Rosalina has her Lumas and with you being her demonic counterpart you have your version of Lumas as well just more demonic than the original. They are like your little helpers telling you things about your victims, giving you information best suited for you and warning you of anyone going after you which is rare but regardless they tell you.

- GB absolutely loves your little minions treating them like they were his pet. Gently tickling them with the tip of his fingers as they rest in his hand. Turmoil on the other hand may have accidentally almost eaten one of your Lumas before getting told off by you telling him that they belong to you and aren’t enemies (I know in canon they aren’t enemies to Mario but this isn’t the canon Mario universe). But besides that they actually get along with each other. Sometimes Turmoil likes to fly around on the bunch of them because why not.

- All and all despite the contrast in personality between the three of you, you lot are the best of friends and often get into shit with you getting all of you out of said shit that the other two manage to convince and rope you into.

———————————

[curufiin]

hello igts me 🪴 anon. i dont know if you remember me but im sorry for dying. i had a bit of a crisis or something idk and refused to do anything on tumblr for a few months. sory

but hi since i honestly have no idea what else t9 say, ill tell you a few of the things that have happened in my discord server because i find them funny.

first of all we are working on getting more people interested in the silmarillion. currentl7 there's this guy we just let join the server and we all think he's pretty cool. and as replacements for actual names we have curveball curufin, eol the lotion brand (i dont actually know about this one's origin), maestoso maedhros,

and 1812 overture cannons

for maglor.

one of the members of the server thought another member was a pilot, someone sent a picture of airplane with borzoi head on it and we got a chain of "huan plane"

we call the game fate of the empress "twinkol game" (comes from thingol and twink being mixed)

i started a poll on who hates finrod and everyone answered YES except ONE OF OUR MEMBERS. execution date: tomorrow

theres more but this is it for now i have to do other things

-🪴

Hey jey yellow plant anon (it’s currently 4:30 am when i’m typing this so i’m keeping the typos. As a treat) of course i remember you silly welcome back to hell <3

hope you’ve been chilling bc procrastination is kicking my ass. do your schoolwork when it’s due please

Also i tbink i need to join this server in question so i can be The CurufinTM (the real and official one and tbe only one as you can tell from mu username. i am definitely NOT the second curufin). also love the eol mention i think he should be appreciated more as a freak lover myself <33

BORZOI HUAN IS SOO REAL hold on you can see this huan i doodled for a mutual

Check him out!!!!

agreed you must execute the finrod haters. no one gets to hate finrod and live. please also execute any finwe/celegorm/finarfin/beleg haters for me thank you <3

Hope the Things go easy for you i like this pen pal thing we have going on. ok i sleep now good nite

[oriley42]

Tl;dr: here's the chart I made, react at your own time if you'd like<3, sorry for the bible below.

Hello again legend, I present to you my magnum opus relationship chart, updated to where I reached when I started it which was about early-mid s7 (I now finished) and therefore does not feature Park or Addams.

You can probably tell which parts might be inspired by your fics (the og ducklings polycule, House and Wilson married, Cuddy and frankly any woman, 13 and Amber etc), which parts are rooted in canon (Cuddy and House, Taub and Rachel, 13 and Foreman etc) and which parts are fully just me going ham (some friendships and ships with people who never met in canon, some of them sharing homes oops).

I would absolutely love to read a live reaction from you on stuff you agree and disagree with and what makes no sense to you because I honestly think your brain is huge as far as dynamics go. Feel free to add anything you can see I blatantly missed, I for sure didn't include everything here.

I know most of your fics don't venture outside of the earlier seasons regarding characters and dynamics but I've been having brainrot about the whole lot of them, I have loads of headcanons regarding the chart:

- It took Foreman a long time to give up his house but because he literally cannot do casual relationships and is hardcore married to 3 people and dating 13 he just sleeps wherever

- Kutner and Masters have a crazy bonding arc that ends with them sharing a house and they balance each other out

- Stacy and Cameron used to fuck over shared weird ass relationship with House

Anyway seriously ama I can explain everything even why Lin Manuel Miranda's character made it to the magnum opus I'm being so fr

No pressure at all to respond unless this brings you equal brainrot, at your leisure boss

Wahoo! This is so cool! I’ve only seen charts like these occasionally, and never gotten a chance to really dive in. I love how this visualizes the complex network of relationships and their nuances, and crystallizes a particular snapshot of them. And I’m so flattered that my stories could play a role in how you imagine these relationships! I do tend to favor the early seasons, so this is a good chance to think about the later fellows as well, who I also love <3 (Will attempt to put my response under a read-more...if I can figure out how these work...)

Starting with Foreman: I love how he’s his own big nexus! The show has such intense main character syndrome with House, but I totally agree with how you’ve framed Foreman and Thirteen as other key spokes in the bonkers wheel of toxic polycule-ism that is PPTH. Foreman wants to be a responsible homeowner but he’s got marriages all over town! And really he’s married to his job! How’s a guy supposed to manage a mortgage situation like that? 😅 Foreman and Kutner (I almost just misspelled his name as Kuntner, which, honestly…serve) didn’t really get to do much together in canon, and I love to imagine them getting to have a relationship of their own, not just in the context of PPTH. Would they chill and play video games, and it would be a chance for Foreman to just be a person, instead of A Doctor? Would he get to enjoy Kutner’s laid back nature, but because they keep things casual, he doesn’t have to deal with the stuff that would absolutely drive his ordered mind crazy—you know he wouldn’t stand for a fridge that’s empty except for a jar of mustard and one (1) liter of Mountain Dew. Also I can’t believe I forgot about that plot point that Taub roomed with Foreman, oh my god. Yes. And Foreman and Rachel Taub secret pals? Delish!

Thirteen has pulled every young, gorgeous, eligible person in her orbit, as she should. Sampled all the flavors, as it were. Except C&C—I agree, she doesn’t vibe with the blonde twins, especially as a set, though I think there could be something interesting in the whole ‘Thirteen is House’s metaphorical daughter’ vibe that Cameron would just go apeshit over. ‘Oh, it’s House, but he’s a hot, impressionable young girl who’s also dying?!’ ß catnip for that messed up gal! (Sidebar: I am fighting for my life every time I try to make Cameron sapphic because that actress simply reads as unbearably het to me. It took everything I had to write explicit Cuddy/Cameron. I’m so sorry to all the lesbian!Cam truthers out there, you’re stronger than I! Especially considering Jennifer went on to be half of such a powerhouse WLW ship on OUAT…I don’t know why, but the only kind of queer for her that really works in my head is aro-ace. That girl just wants to save lives, she doesn’t have time for any other nonsense!) On that note, love the idea that Cameron/Stacy had a thing. Go girls, the best way to get over House is to get under someone else (who also wants to fuck him!) Cuddy/Amber is galaxy brain, god, let these powerful yet deeply insecure and structurally maligned women try to step on each other, fail, and fuck nasty about it 😭 I’m also glad you fit sweet little Masters in, I’ve only written her as a cameo because s7 is so…Like That…but she’s delightful and deserves the (intimate) attentions of beautiful and terrifying women such as Thirteen and Amber. And Kutner & Masters friendship, what a delight that would be! I think they would both bring eldest sibling energy to it that would turn out to complement one another, as Kutner shows her the ropes of having fun and learning when to bend the rules, and she can help him buckle down and connect with the times when the rules are actually important to follow. Kutner was always the youngin’, so he didn’t get to mentor anybody, and he should have gotten that chance!!

I think Cuddy and Wilson have a Something…that cannot be defined. Is it sexual, platonic, friendly, familial? Are they besties, are they both just good at being social, are they bonded primarily over their UST for House, would they have been the world’s most perfect Lavender Marriage??? (Which raises the point of kids, yikes! That would need to be a whole other chart, of kids had, imagined, and desired…) Similarly, canon implies that Wilson and Stacy are good friends and have been for quite a while (though we don’t get to see it enough!) and I always wonder how that went for James ‘Trips Over Friendship Into Marriage’ Wilson. Was his friendship like Stacy like his relationship with Cuddy? Are they surface level friends who really bonded over House—or over the kinds of things that draw them to someone like House, e.g. the dark unspoken desires they both paper over in their pursuit of appearing “normal”? Maybe it’s like what Bonnie said, if she’d slept with Wilson right away, she could have gotten over him…maybe Wilson slept with Cuddy and/or Stacy and they were like ‘that was fine, but what if we just did brunch once a month and gossiped instead.’

I agree that Cuddy should have gotten to keep Lucas, like a pet. He was delightful! House Lite, a little scamp, but one who could be kind and relied upon when it was important. And totally agree that House should get to keep Alvie, that musical theater freak helped him keep it together in one of the worst times of his life! Those episodes of s6 are a fever dream that I wouldn’t trade for the world. House needs his emotional support boy best friend (there’s that one post that says without Wilson, House flees to the nearest manlet…so real.) It’s so natural, then, for the two manlets to bond. Lucas and Alvie have killer karaoke sessions together that are as humiliating to witness as they are incredible to experience.

Thank you for sharing this inspiring chart (and for referring to me like I’m a mafia don, it makes me feel so butch and famous) 😎🥰 Please do reblog or reply if any of this stream of consciousness sparks clarifications/questions/additions!

[dearfriendsinhigherplaces]

hi!! first omg you are the first person i have seen with both a RDR2 and a BG3 and that's so cool me too!!

i wanted to ask about your bg3 DR because I'm redoing my script and also want to cut out the whole "parasite" scenario and/or divvy away from the main plot. How did you write your script to go around those kinds of things? thanks!!

sorry i’m responding to this late, i just seen it. this also might be a bit long lol. i’m just gonna loosely explain my dr plot, and info dump a little bit if that’s okay. (some bg3 spoilers). also i love finding bg3 and rdr2 shifters, there’s not too many of us.

so, it took me way too long to figure out a way that all of the companions could meet each other without the tadpole bringing everyone together, and i still really haven’t figured out some details yet (i’m just gonna let the dr figure it out because idk what to script).

my dr doesn’t really have a plot at first, i just live in a camp in the woods outside of baldur’s gate with my partner. me and astarion meet because he randomly stumbles upon my camp, looking for something to feed on (our first meeting plays out like the scene in the game where you can let him bite you for the first time/when you discover he’s a vampire, except at this point in my dr i’ve never met him). he doesn’t feed on me but i offer to let him stay at the camp since he doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

for his backstory i know i didn’t want the possibility for him to ascend, so i scripted that cazador’s dead (don’t know how he died, astarion doesn’t either), but when he died astarion booked it out of szarr manor, hence him running into me. i wanted him to be able to be in the sun, but there’s no tadpole so i scripted he has a ring enchanted with magic that gives him sun immunity when he wears it (he randomly found this right before cazador died). so for a while it’s just me, my partner, and astarion living in our camp together. and i shift there for the first time the morning after me and astarion meet.

for gale, I used to study magic at blackstaff academy and that’s where we met, we’re old friends. i find him the same way you find him in the game, in the portal.

i want a pretty peaceful experience in my dr with no fighting or death (i know i can’t handle it which is the main reason i scripted the mindflayer stuff out), so i just scripted we can all help people and be heroes without any harm happening. i think there’s still going to be some conflict with the emerald grove, with the druids and the tieflings where maybe we can help them somehow without fighting goblins (i want the tiefling party to happen in my dr). a lot of the details are just “figure it out when i get there, see how things play out,” because i swear scripting around the bg3 plot is so complicated.

as for how or why everyone who ends up at the camp might stay there together, all the main people in bg3 are kind of going through something, with or without the tadpole. even without the main conflict of the game, they’ve all got their own side quests for things they’re dealing with.

in my dr, all of that is still going on and everyone is trying to heal. gale has the thing with mystra and the bomb in his chest, astarion is healing from his trauma, shadowheart is coming to terms with not wanting to follow shar anymore (i’m only at the end of act 2 so i’m not sure how some things play out in the game), lae’zel’s whole thing with vlaakith, karlach still is trying to figure out what to do about her engine, etc. so even if you script out the main plot, there’s still all this personal stuff that they’re working through that maybe you could help with (unless you’re scripting all that out too which is fine).

but in my dr all this stuff brings everyone together, and it very much becomes a found family situation, especially since a lot of the companions don’t really have anyone else in their lives. my drs typically don’t have plots, i just want to live life chilling with my pals. the end goal for this dr is hopefully everyone is able to heal and be in a good place, and then maybe we’ll all move into gale’s and tara’s house in waterdeep lol. my script mainly focuses on me and my backstory, and i don’t really have many scenarios scripted so it’ll all be a surprise to me when i get there and meet everyone.

hope all that kinda answers your question. i’m also still figuring it out lol. it’s ok if you can’t get everything to fit together 100% because it will play out in your dr in a way that makes sense.

[allergictocolor]

Character Profile - Fester Addams

“[Uncle Fester] is incorrigible and, except for the good nature of the family and the ignorance of the police, would ordinarily be under lock and key. The complexion, like [that of] Morticia, is dead white, the eyes are pig-like and deeply imbedded, circled unhealthily in black - no teeth and absolutely hairless. He likes to fish but usually employs dynamite or any other unfair means. He keeps falcons on the roof which he uses for hunting. His one costume is a black greatcoat with an enormous collar - summer and winter. He is fat with pudgy little hands and feet.” - Chas Addams

We’ve already gone over the fact that Charles Addams did not fashion Gomez after himself. He actually stated more than once that Fester was “like me - or how I feel I look - with a bit more hair.” Fester was sometimes pictured with the family, but more often alone, just being a weird creep. Perhaps Charles Addams, with his dark sense of humor, saw himself as a weird creep, and saw Fester as his avatar.

Charles Addams never specified how Fester was related to the rest of the family. In the descriptions he wrote for the producers as the show was in development in 1963, he didn’t even say whether Gomez and Morticia were married, or what their last name was. I’m not sure whether he was even aware the TV family was being named after him, but more on that in the Grandmama post.

The show itself doesn’t really make it clear right away where Fester fits in the family tree. Most of the family members refer to him as “Uncle Fester”. Gomez explicitly says, “He’s my uncle” more than once. Early in the second season, Gomez and Morticia celebrate their 13th wedding anniversary and tell everyone the story of how they met. In the flashbacks, Fester is Morticia’s uncle, brother to her mother. The actor who played him, Jackie Coogan, was about 16 years older than the actors who played Gomez and Morticia, so it could make sense that he was a generation older.

As the first actor to play the character, Coogan got to pick Fester’s voice and mannerisms, which have endured for the most part in all following iterations. He has a nasal voice and goofy manner. Even at his most menacing, there’s an aura of slapstick to him, as if all three Stooges were reincarnated simultaneously in him.

The 60s TV show made great use of those trick light bulbs you can still buy today to demonstrate Fester’s magic power of generating electricity. This seems to have been created just for the show, and it’s commented on many times. Gomez relies on Fester to power several small appliances around the house, and they consult a doctor when his electrical capacity wanes. It also manifests as electromagnetism, allowing him at one point to attract a metallic paperweight to his hand. In the 1991 movie, a bolt of lightning allows Fester to regain both his memory and his electrical ability. In the Netflix series, he demonstrates this ability for dramatic effect and to save a life.

In the sitcom, Fester spends a lot of his time in the family’s “playroom”, also known as the dungeon. He naps on the bed of nails, sometimes with concrete bricks as a pillow. He gleefully offers the iron maiden as a place for guests to chill out. He frequently uses a press to alleviate his chronic headaches. (Not a completely unfounded treatment. I sometimes wear a tight hat for mine, and it works!) The original comics depicted torture equipment, and the family’s love for these things endured beyond the sitcom. I wouldn’t be surprised to see a similar playroom if some of the action in season 2 of Wednesday takes place in the mansion.

Another thing that comes up often in the sitcom is Fester’s search for love. Many times, he has a pen pal (how to catfish people before the internet) or tries to find a date in some other way. This is an uphill battle for him, due to his appearance and lifestyle. While Gomez is ridiculously wealthy, that doesn’t seem to extend to the rest of the family. Fester is living there rent-free, and doesn’t have a job.

In the 1991 movie, The Addams Family, Fester is Gomez’s older brother and therefore heir to the family fortune, and he’s manipulated into taking over the mansion and kicking the rest of the family out. Of course, there’s a happy ending, just like in a sitcom. In the sequel, Fester’s romance is central to the plot, and once again he’s manipulated. But his best match is someone just like him. Similarly, in the 2019 animated film, he ends up with someone who is off-putting to everyone else.

When Fester shows up in Wednesday, we only learn a little about him. He has the same nasal voice, wardrobe, and electrical ability. In this story, he’s a criminal on the run, a former mental patient, and proud of both. He mentions that he can crack a safe (something the sitcom version did back in the 60s), but Thing does it instead. He drinks a bottle of ketchup and tries to eat some bees, but Wednesday stops him. In that one episode, he provides enough information about himself and his past to potentially make some people want more.

It appears that Netflix is working on a spin-off series based on Fester, but if they’re smart it won’t be based on Fred Armison’s version of the character. He certainly did a fine job, but most of what made Wednesday successful was the age of the characters and the school setting of the series. I think that if they want to make a successful spin-off about Fester, they’ll focus on some earlier part of his life, possibly even the time when Gomez and Morticia were in Nevermore and he “dropped in” on them, “usually with a knife between [his] teeth.”

[sunnydayroleplay]

Hiiii~

Now how about jealous sex with Jack?~ Him getting so angry and possessive over MC that he fucks then senseless while growling "Mine" or something pleeeease

Hey~ You just keep them coming don't you? Not the I mind them, nor writing these beautiful ideas into more words. Let's write it. This includes: Getting fucked senseless holy shit AND someone calling you and he makes damn well sure you answer, Praise, Typical Use Of: "Sunshine, Sunspot, Sunbeam" etc.., Use of "Mine"

You woke up earlier than Jack thought you'd willing wake up on your day off. You planned to go out to the mall, and grab a lunch with your dear-ol' pal, Shaun! You got dressed up, nothing too fancy, but it definitely caught Jack's eye as you grabbed your wallet and keys. As you stuffed them into your pockets, Jack perked an eye from the kitchen. "Where you headed to, sunspot?" He said as he walked up to you, pulling you into his arms, kissing your cheek softly. You giggled, kissing him right back. "I'm going out with Shaun. You remember him, right? He stayed with us for a little bit!" You gave Jack a big smile, squeezing him as you did so.

"Yeah, I remember him." He said in a cold monotonous tone. He pulled you in closer, his hand resting behind your head, as his other arm held you close by your waist. Something about hanging out with Shaun, alone, dressed so nicely, didn't sit well with him. It did not sit well at all. Something about someone else spending quality time with his sunshine, was not something he could let off the hook so easily. "Something wrong, Jack?" You say after pulling away from his warm embrace. Worried, you look up at him. He looks down at you, changing his tone so fast. "Just sweet dandy, lemon candy!" He smiles, kissing you again, swinging his arms around your shoulders. "Do you have to go? I'm gonna miss you!~" "Yes, I'm going Jack." You chuckle softly, gently caressing his cheek. Now that you think of it, you never really left Jack alone by yourself. And if you did it was because of a quick errand to run. You were going to be alone for 3-4 hours, with a guy that Jack may or may not have some mixed feelings over. "Please? Don't leave." He whimpers, picking up his hand and smoothing out your hair. Jack does not want you to leave, nor does he want you with some guy who's definitely in the imaginary competition of winning your love. At least that's how he would put it. "I'm only gonna be gone for a few hours, I'll see you later, Jack." Kissing the tip of his nose, you pat his cheek and walk out your door. Locking it behind you. He was pissed. You're leaving looking like that, with some other guy, not even tell him when he should except you home, and you didn't say that you loved him. Downright disrespectful.

As you had your fun with Shaun, going to the mall, getting some new clothes and trinkets for yourself, and somethings for Jack, which Shaun definitely questioned on who they were for, Jack was cleaning away your house angrily. He did laundry, vacuumed, cleaned up your kitchen. Hell he could've went grocery shopping with all the food you had when you came back. Being alone gave him time to over-think. Is this it? Are you finally leaving him? Have you found someone else? Has something bad happened to you instead? Has he put a spell under you to make you fall under his arm? He was in fury. He was jealous, and he had just the idea for when you got home. "Hey Jack! I'm home! I got you a few things as-well!" You finally come home, as promised, a few hours later. You place your bags on your dinning room table.

"Hello, my sunshine." He said, suddenly creeping up from behind you, and holding you tightly. His head rested on your shoulder. His hands on your stomach. "How was it?" "We went to the mall, I got some things for you, some things for me, Shaun and I went to that new restaurant down by the hub." He pulled you in closer, you could feel his ragged breathing down your neck. Sending slight chills. "Forget about Shaun." "Huh?" He pushed you against the table, lifting your legs up and picking you up to set you down on said table. He leaned in, his face slightly flushed. He put a hand to your face, glaring into your soul. His voice slightly trembled, the way he looked at you with those chocolate colored eyes of his, could turn anyone into some fondue. He kissed your neck gently, biting you, licking you, really anything he could to mark you, so that the next time Shaun rolled around, he could get the hint. He grabbed you by the legs, gently swiping off your pants and throwing them on the couch, as well as with his own. "Jack..~" You moaned softly, your hand in his blue colored hair. Without saying anything, he swiftly shoved his cock inside of you, holding you by your thighs, and recklessly fucked you. Once he found his rhythm, he was singing in and off key. He didn't stop or slow down for nothing. A hand flew to your mouth to cover up your sounds, but he wasn't having any of it. He grabbed your wrist, leaning into your face once more. "I want your neighbors to know all the details on how you feel on the inside, by the time we're done." Shit, if something's wrong with Sunny Day Jack, then something's wrong with you. (And me.) He glared into your soul, as he rearranged your inside. Your back arched, your neck flew back, your moans in psych with Jack's thrusts. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, longing for some sort of leverage to lean on. As he continued you heard your phone ringing. Jack picks it up before you even have the chance to notice, and answers. He give the phone to you and whispers: "Answer, sunbeam~ It's for you." You grab the phone as you try to contain yourself. You read the caller ID. It's your boss. (Manager, whatever. He's in charge of where you work.) "H-Hello? Did you need something?" You could barely manage that sentence without exclaiming your vocal cords out. How could you have a full blown conversation? As your boss is talking, you occasionally do the typical: "Hm. Yeah. Hmmm, Okay." Jack is not slowing down that's for sure. He made that damn clear. He continued to roughly thrust into you, fuck being gentle. "O-Okay, Can I, Hmmm~ Call you back?" You hang up, yeah you're not calling him back. Jack smirks and leans into you once more. His mouth pressed to your ear. "You're mine, sunshine. And only mine." He said in a growl, biting the tips of your ear. "You're doing so w-well, it'll only be a little longer~"

Well, you're fucked! :D