#EXCELLENT CASTING CHOICE!!!!!! FUCKING EXCELLENT

[desperate-daemon-days]

Excellent choice, the slash dash build is generally considered the more 'meta' one for lvlcap but also I dont care personally and like katanas and laser swords Read more bc this is gonna be long AND unstructured. Like, really fucking long

So excalibur-ESPECIALLY his exalted blade builds-struggle a lot wherein you have to sacrifice either a large chunk of damage or a large chunk of survivability and i swear all the loud dubstep intro youtubers kinda forget about that. You'll quickly find yourself getting frustrated you cant just barely eke out one or the other, but WHATEVER (Also apologies for shitty formatting)

This is my general purpose build for umbra himself specifically leaning into his exalted blade, though it should be noted you can definitely swap things out depending on what you want from him. In this case, i like red crits, so wrathful advance-it makes chromatic blade crit, and combined with 747% status chance from the augment thats a lotta damage. That being said, i am aware not everyone skill issues like me into the sun, so i'll be providing alternatives depending on your tastes and how you wanna flavour your sword frame. Treat this more as a pick and choose, rather than a bible for what to do always. My mods are selected based on my playstyle and skill lvl, and it works into high SP lvls, but everyone is different. Theres some things that i could update looking at this-but admittedly, i havent touched it in a little while. This particular build is on the squishier side, and has some quirks born from problems i ran into with general day to day play.

Disclaimer; i am not a uber stronk gamar who never gets hit by anything. For such builds there are ten billion youtube videos. Don't care for the explanation? Easy summary of my build only; 2 Umbrals + brief/rolling + reaper + healing return = dual health/shield tanking. Combo with Guardian for shield refresh. Arcane fury for raw damage. Archon flow with cold emissive chromatic blade for energy gen, + corrosive on blade for armour strip. Lean into crit chance/damage/raw damage/faction if not lazy. Status chance covered by Chromatic blade.

Companion is dethcube with tenacious bond + vulklok to hit crit threshold. Energy generator + guardian for orbs and shield. other mods to taste, synth deconstruct good for healing + shard equilibrium. Madurai for ability strength or Naramon for combo decay reduction. Even vazarin for survivability isnt bad. Up to taste/needs, Subsume wrathful over 2 for crit chance.

Shards are

-2 amber tauforged (Energy orb efficiency-can replace one with casting speed, could get rid of other one for more melee crit damage but wouldn't recommend it) -2 Violet tauforged (one equilibrium style, other melee crit damage) -1 Azure tauforged (for raw health, but can replace with more melee crit damage easily. im just scared a lot) Keep reading if you want reasonings/alternatives!

Base frame mods/Arcanes

In terms of his survival, you can either lean heavily into health tanking if you wanna do gloom (in which case, replace brief respite with growing power, or even corrosive projection if you dont run smth else for armour strip like corrosive. Adaptation is still not worth it though over rolling, bc he has zero innate DR and no status cleanse), or do your conventional pure shield tanking with your 1/2/3 being your shield refresh button with brief respite/rolling guard/, and replace reaper with smth like aegis, or even a damage/ability arcane like molt augmented. Or you can mix it up, like I do, since i supplement my shields with my drone (i'll get to that in a minute) and use a single tauforged blue for base health.

Either way, he has nothing for survival, and you CANNOT do invis based survival bc exalted blade breaks shade/huras, you'll be running around too much for quiver to be consistent (unless you like doing that silly arrow trick in the sentinel) and....well, you're welcome to try and consistently headshot with a sword. Invuln based survival is a slash dash only, im afraid. If you do slash dash, invis through companion is your go-to, with rolling in the event your little dude dies. (I like not clenching my ass even during basic missions, and I like scaling beyond basic lvl 400 stuff so) Raw stat-wise, you obviously want to run duration + strength. Efficiency is the drop stat here bc going negative range reaaaally sucks for furious javelin, and also affects your 1, which in this build is basically rolling guard...2! As mentioned, you become fully invulnerable, so if your rolling guard is down you can ride out a status effect with it, or if you find yourself low health etc. The 'duration' is dependent on how many enemies you chain to-which is affected by range. Hence, low efficiency, higher duration to compensate. It wont do as much damage bc you'll be using your 4 as its stat determiner, but it should still be decent. High strength is self explanatory. (It should be noted that even if you slash dash into nothing, you'll still get a brief window of invulnerability. No shame in hurtling yourself down a corridor with it)

Arcane wise, as expected on a melee build, fury is basically compulsory for that big damage spike. You could run avenger, but it won't be the most consistent since ideally you're either shield gate invulnerable or slowing shit down with gloom to prevent getting hit mostly entirely. Arcane strike is another alternative, if you want to not need to slot any attack speed mods at all. As for the other slot-basically, either run reaper if you want hp regen, or aegis if you reaaaally want to commit to shields. Or, if you're confident in your rolling skills, slot on more ability strength/duration/melee boosting arcanes. Hell, energize is a good option, but i hate recommending it bc i still dont have it maxed :,D I am not that confident in my shield tanking (ESPECIALLY since i used to mostly do endurance runs against infested pre toxin/disruptor nerf), so hence my choice. No matter what you do, your biggest enemy will remain nullifiers and toxin eximus. Under absolutely NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you allow yourself to be caught with no energy/unable to cast, so treat him like a squishy caster frame, not a tanky melee frame.

NOTE: You can use normal primed flow. You want base energy for violet shard threshold (and energy ofc), but specifically archon flow is there because exalted weapons count as ability kills, which we'll be touching on in a sec.

Augments

We love chroma jank Furious javelin is one of those mods which reaally should be base functionality, because Radial javelin does so little damage its nonexistent. It's a lot better than it seems, because the damage multiplier basically acts like a melee only pre-change eclipse without the lighting fuckery. Sticking it in a large group, with decent ability strength you can easily reach several hundred %. That being said, there are some build variations without this, with javelin being subsumed for something else and purely leaning on the raw weapon damage instead. (Usually status DOT based blade builds are the ones that do this, which...i don't like status that much. I am biased bc status builds fall apart real fast when it comes to single target damage against stuff like acolytes/necramechs etc. Violence is terrifying and your goal is not to explode to them.) There is a sort of line-of-sight mech, but its a bit wonky-but generally, range = more enemies hit. Roll your way into a crowd and hit it. Chromatic blade is basically compulsory for any exalted blade build. It means we dont need to build any status chance on the weapon itself, and can commit to other multipliers. As for the status on the blade...well, it depends, AGAIN, on taste. I am forever afraid of no energy, so I run cold; this allows me to use archon flow for free orbs, with corrosive modded onto the weapon. You could also do electricity for corrosive, or heat for viral/heat (or heat/corrosive, your taste). Archon continuity also works, if you wanna only rock pure toxin. The world is your oyster! Just keep in mind the element does combine, but it'll prioritize what's on the blade itself.

Exalted Blade

Copy pasting the picture so you dont need to scroll lol

If i had made this build post galvanised mods, I would use them over sac steel. This is because Wrathful advance already covers my crit needs, so more raw crit damage would be better. Likewise, replacing gladiator might with galvanised elementalist or a faction mod may be better, and I would swap berserker fury with magnetic rush.

The reason why I am using 'may' and 'might' here is because it really, really isnt needed.

lvl 205 steel path corrupted gunners with basically 0 combo explode violently all the same. If you have those new mods, put them on! Or don't. Just treat it as you would any other crit based melee. Just keep in mind chromatic gets rid of the slash damage that comes with exalted's stats. Your damage modding does matter more if you decide to go for a more tanky build with gloom or eclipse, though.

What tennokai you use also is really up to taste, but its important you have it, so you can get free wrathful procs if you're using wrathful advance, or well...free heavies in general.

Companion

Because exalted is a channel, regen based energy sources do not work at all. So, you'll need orbs. Archon flow in my experience is not enough, even with all the shards i have slotted, so here comes dethcube to save the day.

Keep in mind the only really 'compulsory' mods are tenacious bond (for crit damage), Energy generator and Guardian. Everything else is to taste; but duplex bond is even more energy, momentous bond helps with damage + uptime, and everything else is general utility or survivability. Any vulklok build with a crit mod on it should push you over the 50% required.

Focus school

Really, this one is just whatever is comfy for you. Zenurik is always nice for the starting energy + ability strength from hardened wellspring, Madurai is...madurai, and Naramon is always nice for anything involving melees. Vazarin is solid for keeping you alive as usual, and Unairu helps with armour strip. I use zenurik bc again, im always shrieking about energy, but Madurai is best.

Subsumes I use wrathful because red crit = satisfying damage, and I love nuke or die builds. However! You can also run Roar or Xata's or Nourish if you wanna buff your damage in other ways (nourish in particular solves energy problems real well so it was very tempting). IRC Wrathful maths out to be the highest multiplier for raw damage, tho. Gloom or Eclipse are also very solid defensive options (as expected), but keep in mind you'll be losing a modifier for damage. There are prolly other funny options like tempest barrage for corrosive/viral if you wanna run the augment, or fuckin. Reave? Actually that would be a funny one now that i think about it but these are my solid picks. Gloom is safe. Gloom is comfy. Everyone puts gloom on everything for a reason. Same with eclipse. But personally, I think warframe is most enjoyed when walking on the edge of an explosion you yourself are generating.

As for what to subsume over, your 2 or 1 are my recommendations. Again, blind does nothing against eximus or overguarded enemies, so imo its the weakest of the kit if you're using javelin aug, whereas 1 can still be used as a consistent survival tool. If not using FJ, get rid of javelin obviously lol

Shards

Now, the 'optimal' sharding would probably be something like 4 violet tauforged for melee crit damage, 1 for casting. But in anything that has lower enemy density/has infested, you'll probably find yourself struggling a little. I like to make my builds as general purpose as possible; aka not only comfortably playable in survival sp missions. Hence, energy efficiency + equilibrium lite.

Energy effectiveness affects how much is recovered from the equilibrium as well, and we cant really fit the base mod on because Excal is already a 2 augment warframe with the only survivability coming from mods, so we're already strapped for space horrifically so. You could replace the equi shard with another crit damage one, though. I dont run casting bc i dont personally feel the need for it (the only thing with real casting delay is your 3, which isn't used too frequently) As for the azure shard, Reaper is hp% recovered, so it gives more wiggle room. Not needed at all, but again, i mod for comfort in a wide variety of missions, and this is what I personally find comfortable.

Realistically, if you arent a coward like me, smth like 1 casting, 1 energy orb effectiveness and 3 melee crit damage shards is more than enough. You could also experiment with the elemental shards; remember, exalted blade is considered an ability AND melee.

Anything else?

For weapons, bring at least one gun-or even melee!-that can gun down an acolyte by itself. I know that defeats the purpose somewhat, but violence is the menace of every casting frame everywhere, and even if your weapons can oneshot, nothing can account for shitty spawns. JUST IN CASE. JUST IN CASE!

Unfortunately, you cannot stat-stick exalted blade with gladiator mods. This is partially why desert wind is so much better than exalted. Any gladiator mods you wanna use? gotta be on it.

yes i did have to forma away umbral polarities. yes it does feel treasonous.

No, this build does not fare exceptionally well against rogue necramechs or archons or anything with that style of damage attenuation. Unfortunately, theres nothing in excal's kit that can bypass that. Not even slash dash. In fact slash dash builds are worse for that, as it cannot properly target them, and you'll burn through energy spamming it on one target.

If the sentience of umbra/disabling of buffs when going into operator pisses you off, dont forget the exilus augment is available. I personally dont really care, so i just slapped psf in there bc its a crutch at this point lmao

if you want the same experience as excalibur with half the stress and thrice the damage, just play baruuk. But where's the fun in that?

Well now that I’ve asked arthur out can someone please tell me how to make excalibur umbra good

[thermodynamic-comedian]

im gonna be so normal about this im gonna be so normal about this im gonna be s(poilers!!!!!)

ITS. THEYRE. THEYRE REFERENCING BARNABAS BENNETT.

"i often wonder if i might have intervened to save his life, but i was young and frightened, and simply watched in quiet awe."

IM GOING TO CHEW OFF MY OWN ARM THIS IS NOT OKAY.

[novelconcepts]

Man, to have this story be about a girls’ soccer team in particular. Girls, who are taught to play by clean rules of society that must be actively unlearned in the wilderness. Athletes, who famously operate on superstition, rituals so easily transformed in crisis to matters of life and death. A team, which fundamentally cannot succeed if all parties aren’t working in tandem for the good of the whole. It’s so smart, and so simple, and goddamn, I love Yellowjackets.

[decepti-geek]

i keep seeing tendrils of wider fandom discourse crossing my dash about who's a better fit for Lizzie or Darcy in Pride and Prejudice but HONESTLY

i'm currently very wrapped up in and entertained by the idea of a Northanger Abbey au - ie, Aziraphale as Catherine Morland and convinced he's living through a gothic novel surrounded by rakes and villains at every turn, meanwhile Tilney!Crowley is just hanging about like 'i would not be a real gothic hero if you PAID me but sure i can pretend if you're into that in the interests of taking the piss'

[e-vasong]

Interview With the Vampire (2022-) is one of the best adaptations of anything ever because it is clearly made with so much love for the original text but it also is very open about critiquing the books while also existing in perfect, constant conversation with it. every change made is a strong writing choice on its own, but it is also made 10x stronger when viewed not just as an alteration of the original but an evolution.

louis being black and a brothel owner rather than a plantation owner is a really fucking smart idea all by itself. but it also directly furthers the differences in worldview between louis and lestat from the books. daniel being older, smarter, keener - much more obsessed with the truth - is an excellent conceit on its own, but its even better when we know that this is round 2 of the interview. he's learned from the awful way the interview went in the books, and now hes here for the truth. devils minion being a dance that arguably stretches decades (even if there wasnt a chase arc in the 70s!) only heightens their game of cat and mouse. armand being an adult physically and also being a POC is fucking inspired, both for how it places him in contrast to louis, and also because it allows them to avoid casting a minor in a very sexual role while still keeping the same dynamic (i.e. the frequent infantilization/fetishization of POC, especially asians).

The fact that some people are mad about its adaptation style boggles my mind, because I honestly think this set a new fucking standard for what adaptations should be. I'm insane about it. If they aren't changing the game like IWTV 2022 who even cares anymore.

[gnawing-suspicion]

Favorite Hannigram Fics of 2024

So! I’ve been thinking about making this list for weeks but it overwhelmed me — I started reading Hannigram fic this year and have consumed millions of words of it. I began without an ao3 account so many of the ones I started with are lost to the aether, but here are the absolute gems, the ones I can’t stop thinking about. Some are popular, others less known.

My tastes might not be yours, but I am drawn to excellent writing, slow burns, power dynamics and a healthy dose of twisted kink. So! ONWARD!

Note: The Shape of Me Will Always be You and Consenting to Dream are a given.

Blackbird by @emungere - “Shortly after Will kills Garret Jacob Hobbs, he and Hannibal stumble into a D/s relationship. It's a relief to have Hannibal telling him what to do, but the closer they become, the closer he gets to realizing who and what Hannibal really is.”

I love D/s Hannigram and this was exquisite. Everything by emungere is, of course, but this is my favorite.

Bram Stoker’s HANNIBAL by @dbmars - “Hannibal + Bram Stoker's Dracula + the classic novel = a new version of the seductive vampire legend.”

A love letter to both the 90s film and the original work. This is the longest fic I read this year and it consumed me for weeks. It’s gorgeous, sexy, beautifully-written and every casting choice made me kick my feet with glee.

Secretary by FragileTeacup and ThisIsMyDesignHannibal - “Will Graham needs a job. Since quitting the FBI, he’s been adrift for months, broken and lost; chasing a desire he doesn’t understand in increasingly destructive ways. What he needs is stability, direction, something to help put his life back in order and quiet the buzzing in his head.”

Secretary is one of my favorite films ever, and this take on it had me foaming at the mouth. It’s so good. SO GOOD.

Hinterland by @pastelwell - “When they crash into the water he believes it’s over. He followed his final impulse to do the right thing by his friends, his family, the world. The last flutters of morality within him had guided him, even as he looked into the eyes of a murderer who had somehow compelled his fall from grace. Here, in the frigid deep waters, their chapter is closed and their story is concluded. Except it isn’t. This is just the beginning.”

A divine post-fall fic of rehabilitation, angst, longing and some of the hottest smut imaginable. I love a post-fall fic and this is top-tier!!

With skin intact and altered souls by romanticallyinept - Will snorts his laughter, shifting to tuck his hands under his arms. “Come on,” he says, turning his head to look over at Hannibal. “The chances of two serial killers being in one car would be astronomical.”

They’re both serial killers!!! What are the odds!! This one is so fun, so fucked, so hot. Really great dialogue.

Our Shadows, That are Bold, Sing by @highermagic - “The monster under Will's bed calls himself Hannibal. He has lived there since Will was old enough to have a bed. He is very smart, and Will likes him very much. He protects Will's dreams, wakes him when he has nightmares. He embraces Will with shadows that black out the morning light when dawn comes, and sings soft songs that Will doesn't know.”

Listen, I read basically every one of HigherMagic’s fics this year. They’re all, every one of them, incredible. This one really got me, though. Monster Hannibal is my husband now.

patroclus in furs by bleakmidwinter - “Will Graham has been acting in heterosexual porn for years but is fired when his manager encourages him to take a higher-paying job for a homosexual centric porn company. There, he finds his expectations turned upside down.”

This is obviously ABSURD but oh my god, did I love it. Will Graham having a sexual identity crisis with notoriously sadistic porn god Hannibal is like candy to me. 10/10.

Cuisine Euphonique by thecountessolivia - “Nightmares brought on by a gruesome case lead Will to some unorthodox therapy in the form of a YouTube cooking channel.”

Will gets obsessed with Hannibal’s secret ASMR channel. Incredible phone sex is the natural conclusion. The descriptions of sound in this are viscerally gorgeous.

Funeral of Flowers by thecountessolivia - “Venice, 1870. The heart of winter. The once great city republic is on its knees. The banned institution of Carnevale lives on discreetly in the masked balls that light up the grand palazzi of the rich and the well-born.”

Hannigram at Carnevale. Sumptuous, longing, decadently described historical AU. Loved this to death.

Black Rock Mountain by bokunojinsei - “Will is a hitchhiker with questionable hobbies. Hannibal is a man who has questionable motives. When Hannibal drives by Will who just so happens to need a ride, things quickly take a turn from the questionable to the downright depraved.”

An even smuttier They’re Both Serial Killers fic that had me howling in the streets. You want bloody horny Hannigram? This is elite!!

To Fuel Your Radiance by GoldenUsagi - “AU where Will is the actual Devil. After Hannibal sells his soul, a fascination begins to develop between them. Will is intrigued by the unique monster Hannibal is, while Hannibal thinks Will is the most magnificent thing he's ever encountered. As their conversations continue, their involvement with each other becomes something else entirely.”

I’m not gonna lie, I think this was my favorite fic I read this year. Will as The Devil is so hot I screamed. There’s a scene at the end that is so fucked I lost my mind. Not even close to safe or sane. A masterpiece.

The Night Owl by sourweather - “Will works the graveyard shift at his University's 24 hour Library. There's another student who only comes in to study in the dead of night. Will can't explain why, but something about that boy has caught his attention.”

College AU! COLLEGE AU! Featuring some great Beverly fun.

An Ounce of Wit by winddragon - “AKA a modern magical AU where the entire point is to turn Will Graham into a catboy.”

The infamous Will is a Catboy fic that is somehow SO good. I had to be convinced to read this but I’m so glad I did. It’s an absolute delight, and the dark magic is so cool?! Goofy, yes, but delicious.

old-fashioned divinity candy by antiheroblake - “the relationship between old money, med student hannibal lecter and his newly rich sugar daddy, will graham”

An ongoing WIP that has me hooked by the throat. If you like the boys being absolutely stupid for each other and also absolutely stupid about it, you’ll eat this up. Young Hannibal is such an idiot. I love him.

in the gruesome do we trust by sidnihoudini - “Hannibal and Will have murder husbands mind palace sex, and Alana watches obsessively.”

I mean, it does what it says on the box. It does it SO WELL. Honk honk and, if I may add, awoooga.

show me where it hurts (I’ll lick it clean) by antiheroblake - “at 18, will inherits a ranch upon the death of his father, a man who died from a supposed family curse. at 33, will becomes prone to accidents, and the new town doctor starts to see him more than he sees his cattle.”

Accident-prone Will in the Old West HATES his sexy new doctor. You won’t believe what happens next!!!

Bring Out Your Desires by TheCosmicNSFW - “After spontaneously having to save a man's life inside an ambulance, Hannibal Lecter finds Will Graham being naughty in the bathroom. He decides that Will Graham might be a more valuable asset than he originally thought, and he convinces Will to let him work out his true desires - but is offering your mind to Hannibal on a silver platter such a great idea?”

An ongoing Hypnosis Kink fic that has absolutely inspired some of Fever Dreams. Bonus points for a fic that gave me a new kink!! Doesn’t happen every day!

The Sugar Bowl by BelladonnaWyck and raiast

Listen, ok, I like a sugar daddy fic. I’m picky about them, though!! This one involves University Will and he’s such a perfect mess.

Mine to Touch by piginapoketuesday - “Will's neck flushed with fear. Never being allowed to feed himself again. Learning to associate food with a swollen, untouched cock. Swallowing prettily and on command. His body betrayed him, and he moaned around the fork in his mouth.”

This one popped up during my exploration of the Sub Will Graham tag and woooooof, yes. Yes!!

2 weeks by EarthsickWithoutYou - “After reading the news of Will's marriage to Molly, an incarcerated Hannibal cannot bear their separation or his own jealousy any longer. He breaks out and finds Will, proposing a bet: that Will gives Hannibal two weeks to prove his love and convince Will to run away with him. If Hannibal succeeds, they will be together for life, but if he fails, he'll return to the BSHCI and never see Will again. With Hannibal's heart on the line and Will's inner moral conflict hard to hear above the roar of his longing for the killer, what choice is he going to make?”

Insanely jealous Hannibal + bone-deep yearning + “I can give you what she never could” = 🔥🔥🔥🔥😤🥵

Appetites of the Flesh by Magnetism_bind - “Will gets aroused at murder scenes. Eventually this gets noticed.”

A rec from @graciereadshannigram that also introduced me to a new kink. It’s twisted, obviously, but godDAMN it’s hot. And speaking of Gracie…

CrimsonDesires by Scifibabe - “Post-fall, Will and Hannibal discover that Alana became a bestselling erotic novelist and surprise! She based her characters on Will and Hannibal. Drunken dramatic reading of various passages ensues.”

This is absolute crack and I ate it up like ICE CREAM. A kick-your-feet delight. Watch as Will blushes so hard he nearly dies. And lest we forget my fave of her Kinktober fics…

Touched for the Very First Time by Scifibabe - “One night post-fall, Will proposes something new: letting Hannibal seduce him as if it's his first time. As Will slips into a younger, more hesitant version of himself, he’s reminded of all the things he's never let himself fully experience. With Hannibal guiding him through each step, Will discovers just how much he still craves being taken care of, in every sense.”

This blew my mind. It’s so hot. Thank you for the food!!!! Bonus mention for the Daddy Kink Fisting episode.

act on it by acheforhim - “Will is lonely and his long-distance fuckbuddy encourages him to pursue Hannibal.”

It took me MONTHS into reading fic to give omegaverse a try. I’m still fussy about it, but this one is so hot.

Graham Cam by bigfootghostdick - “In nearly every aspect of his life, Hannibal is wholly unabashed in the endeavors he chooses to take on, especially where Will is concerned. At his core, he lives outside the realm of societal norms, so in a twisted effort to learn more about the beautiful empath that has captured his attention so utterly, he decides to install hidden cameras inside Will’s home.

Will is blissfully unaware…or is he?”

Hdhagahajajbfdg.

Illicit Affairs by EarthsickWithoutYou - “AU in which Will is living a quiet, safe, but deeply conflicted life in Maine, married to Molly but secretly longing for his dark Becoming. Mired in self-hatred and despair, he seeks comfort in the church. But things get very complicated once he meets the new priest at his parish, Father Hannibal Lecter.”

I have a massive Priest Kink and this did it for me in every way possible. I love how all of EarthsickWithoutYou’s fics are so deeply religious. I’m not, but I love reading it!!

suffer does the wolf by cedarbranch - “Under extreme physical duress, a werewolf's transformation cycles may fall out of phase with the moon. Will has experienced it once before. He'd hoped he never would again. But the fall was not kind to him, and when two full moons pass afterwards with no sign of a change, something has to give.

The solution: a tight leather collar, woven through with pure silver chain to prevent unwanted transformation. Will hates the collar. But it might be different when Hannibal's the one putting it on him.”

I may be iffy on omegaverse, but I LOVE fics where Will is a werewolf. It just suits him. That plus BDSM power dynamics? SOLD

even though our love is doomed by bleakmidwinter - “Hannibal solves the mystery of time travel and he and Will decide to go into the past and take opportunities previously missed along with rewriting the regrets they each hold. Changing the past does not effect the future and they have free reign to play as the please.”

I loved this, oh how I loved this, particularly when they fuck themselves. What a treat for me!!

How to Be a Good Boy: A Guide for the Novice Werewolf by HigherMagic - “Will gets scratched by a strange dog during the full moon.”

I told you I like Will as a werewolf and this is peak!!

WHEW. I know there are more I could add and some I’ve lost track of or forgotten, but these fics changed me!! I obviously pored through the archives of a few authors - HigherMagic, emungere, MissDisoriental, thecountessolivia, EarthsickWithoutYou, Scifibabe, antiheroblake, bleakmidwinter and DBMars all kept me fed this year! 🖤 without all their incredible work I never would’ve started writing my own fic, so I’m deeply grateful.

I love this fandom and now that you can see my tastes, I am very open to your recs 🖤🖤🖤

[glacierclear]

ISN'T BITE ALSO TOUCH?

fuckboy!leon x gn!reader (maybe a few gendered terms oops)

content: hurt/no comfort, angst, arguments, passive aggression, mentions of drugs/alcohol

Your best friend is a fuckboy. He ditches you at a party. You argue. Maybe they were right about him.

[ao3 link]

They all tried to tell you. Every single one of them.

He’s bad news, don’t bother. You would scoff.

He’s nothing but a walking penis. He doesn’t care about anything. And you’d roll your eyes.

Every red flag. Every warning sign. Every flashing light. You refused to heed any of them. And you tilled, and you sowed, and you fed. And now? You were reaping.

“I don’t get what the big deal is. You’re a big kid. You don’t need a damn babysitter.” His hands remained clenched, balled up and shoved into the pouch of his hoodie. His posture was lax. Noncommittal. He stared into a wall, his expression detached and unreachable.

“When you called me up tonight to drag me to some stupid frat party, I at least expected you to like, stay with me,” you countered. “We weren’t even there for an hour before you up and ditched me. Streaking across campus like a moron.” The base of your neck throbbed, the fledgling burn of an oncoming migraine. Your clothes still reeked of burnt weed and the cloyingly pungent whiff of cotton candy vape smoke.

“You should be fucking grateful. Wouldn’t have gotten into that party without me. Shit was the best thrasher of the month.” He lifted his head, scorching you with that know-it-all smirk. It huffed the coals of your stomach. You felt like puking.

“I didn’t…oh my god, Leon. I didn’t go for the party. I thought you…I don’t know. I thought you actually wanted to hang out. Have a good night.”

Your fingers burrowed their way through the folds of your sheets and you stayed perched at the edge of your bed. Leon hovered at your doorway, barely present in the space of your dorm, his contour fuzzed with casting light.

He didn’t say anything. Your eyes pulsed and stung. “Look. I’m not mad, I just–”

“You should be.”

“What?”

It’s then that he finally dared to meet your eyes. Blue hues swallowed whole by the pitch of his pupils, seeking you past tendrils of mussed, blonde hair.

“You should be mad. Why aren’t you? Cuz’, you’re right. I fucking ditched you. Like a moron.” He flung the word back with acid and you winced away. “God forbid I have some fun, right? Forgot you’re too much of a buzzkill to actually have fun at a party.”

There’s a throttling impulse to scream at him. Tell him off for being unreasonable and kick his ass to the curb like last week’s trash. But you’ve danced to this song before. The repeating pattern and pervasive enigma of Leon’s refusal to invest himself; emotionally, or otherwise.

So, you sucked in a steadying breath, filled your lungs with patience, and spoke softly.

“It’s not just about the party,” you began, and passively, you noticed him shift. “I mean…streaking? You realize that if you got caught doing that…you wouldn’t have a scholarship anymore. Hell, maybe you’d be expelled.”

The realization settled on him like a poison and you caught his face darken. As much as he denied and disguised, Leon was a smart man. Excellent standing in his classes and a whopping GPA to match the third leg he swung in his pants. It meant a lot to him.

There’s a gap of silence before he opened his mouth again.

“...well, I wasn’t caught. And it was my choice. I don’t need you nagging me like a fucking mom, alright?” His body shrunk in on itself. Caging his softer parts from the reality he narrowly avoided. On a better day, perhaps you’d chase him. Push and fight for a break in his shell, a crevice that gave way to the man you knew he was capable of being. But, God, your head was shattering. Your nausea was worsening. You weren’t making progress.

“Right, well, sorry for caring, Leon,” you relented, turning away from him to click your phone into its charger. “I’m going to bed. Don’t bother inviting me to any more parties.”

Your gaze left him, you weren’t fully aware of his body, but in the fleeting moments following your surrender he’s on you. Lurking above you like the baleful firmament of a roaring summer storm. You hardly had the time to open your mouth before he’s speaking. No, he’s growling. Revving the engine of his fury.

“...so that’s it? You’re not putting up with me anymore?” It could be the headache talking, but you swore you heard a tremble in his voice.

“Huh? The fuck are you–”

“We’re not friends anymore. That’s what you’re doing, right?” You searched the raging sea of his eyes for a raft. But all you did was drown. “I fucked up one too many times and now I’m just another shitty dude you had to put up with.” You watched the chipped black of his nails dig into his arms, tensed up limbs shielding him from what he’s most afraid you’ll confirm.

“Leon, that’s not…we’re still friends, okay? I just don’t want to go to parties like that anymore. Just give me a few days to cool off and we can…I dunno, we’ll hit up that burger joint you love.” It’s a pretty weak bargain, but maybe he’d bite.

And he did bite. He bit and he tore and he sought out blood.

“You’ve always had shitty taste in guys.” He practically spat at you, a scornful wrinkle deepening in the bridge of his nose. “Fucking stand up for yourself. You always let people walk all over you and act surprised when they turn out to be shitheads.”

He leaned in. You smelled him. Overpriced cologne. Underpriced shampoo. Crappy beer he drank even though he hated the taste. Despite it all, you yearned to hug him.

“Leon, I–”

“...and you know what? I don’t fucking need you. I don’t need your little dates. Your pity sex. I don’t need you looking out for my damn scholarships and I especially don’t need you making me look bad when I’m trying to let loose at the party I’ve been looking forward to all goddamn month.” You wanted him to stop. You wanted to bridge the chasm and devour his violence. If only he’d let you. But all he did was bite harder. “I won’t bother inviting you out anymore. Actually, I won’t bother talking to you at all. Have fun with your fucking life, I’m done being your fucking charity. Goodni–”

At the edge of his precipice, the void he dug for solace, Leon plummets. He straightened his spine, eyes widening and jaw hanging lifelessly. You were crying. Tears bursting without prejudice. Staining your face in vulnerability you so often only used to comfort him.

He went too far. And now, you were crying.

Neither of you moved for an eternity. From the hallway of your dorm, you hear the thundering trots of drunken friends laughing and yelling. The noise swelled and faded. The only evidence of a world beyond your room.

He called your name. His voice was so much quieter, held together with twine and stinging regret. You lifted your eyes and your throat barely allowed your words to pass.

“...Great job, Leon. Now I’m mad.” In an act of self-preservation, you tore your gaze away, burning a stare into the ground below his shoes. They’re blotched with dirt and chlorophyll, still damp from his midnight misdemeanor. “I won’t bother you anymore. If you hate me that much, I…I’ll leave you alone.”

His arms unfolded, one hand reaching out, a fragmented attempt to soothe you. But it was too late.

He repeated your name.

“I didn’t…fuck, I shouldn’t have said…hey–”

“Go home, Leon.” Your voice was unwavering, and he flinched back, your ire the open flame he’s too human to touch.

And then he left. Your dorm vibrated with the slam of the door, and you buried your face in your hands. In the place of his feet, soil stained your carpet. In the place of his warmth, sandalwood smoldered the air.

In the place of your love, all you wanted was to die.

[chicademartinica]

Only Friends episode 1

Yes fam I loved it. This show was written and directed by queer cinephile millennials and it shows. The late 90’s erotic thriller cinematography, fashion choices,and edit is a perfect hommage to a very specific period. (see Cruel Intentions, Wild Things but also Scream and trust me on this one DAWSON’S CREEK.)

Hair and make-up are classic Jojo team. Everybody is moisturized, lip balmed and coconut oiled. No lightening make-up, we see every mole and every freckle. (They accentuated Mark’s eyes and whew !) Everybody’s earrings are real shiny too.

The actors are in their bag. Khao is blindingly attractive. He is so talented it’s just unfair. His improve with the seatbelt scene ? Too good. First is on 10 as per usual. Force is unrecognizable, cold eyes, mechanic smile, that man is a snake on legs. Neo WHEW. Mark Pakin is an amazing on-screen kisser on top of everything. Book is so difficult to read, I find it so intriguing. The whole cast is just enjoying themselves and you can tell.

There was a lot of excellent seduction in this episode but Nick dropping the act for a second, just amazed that his bold move worked as he leads Boston to the back of the store ? Nick’s not a player he just HAD to do it. (The “I put a nude in you phone is based on a true story. People are nuts lol)

I loved Mew repeating that he knows how to read people.I’m sure you do boo but 1. You also said that if you fuck Top you’ll fall for him. 2. You already fell for him so your judgement was kaput FROM THE JUMP.3 Top will , sing it with me, bleed you dry like a goddam vampire, even though you are indeed very smart. He dickmatized Boston so he is in fact Beelzebub.

First has experience in throwing people out of his house idc. That “take you shit and go”pants throw ?!! 10 out a 10.

Boston one night stand was kinda trash for his partner. Count on Jojo and his pals to put a selfish lover on screen. Also Topboy stopping the second Mew says so. Sand handling drunk baby boo with the outmost care. And masturbation of course. Nick being an amazing but fragile lover was my favorite.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING IF RAY IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SAND BISEXUAL AWAKENING ??!!!

NB : The sex scene in the shop would be in a video store if video stores still existed.

[mmmelahii]

Mel audiodrama rec list!

I'm gay sad and picky, read into that how you may - in no real order - heed each show's TWs

RED VALLEY!! LOVE THIS SHOW TO DEATH. Great beginner audiodrama, such excellent audio and writing and chemistry and woayfhhtm. Cried a lot. A good amount of existential dread. Ough

Woe.begone: lots of wbg brainrot as of late. Genuinely the most scary podcast ever to me - but only if you think about it. Don't get too attached to the ARG format of the first season. Its long, a mind fuck, and not for everyone. It took me 2 tries over a year and a half to lock in properly. Best consumed in a binge as to keep the plot threads fresh in mind. Great discord server <3 cried a lot too

The Grotto: Wbg has great music but Grottos hits different. It makes me want to teeth. I adore the writing personally, but be OK with your pov character sort of being a toxic person. He's trying he really is. This show portrays nuances of grief and mental health issues so well imo. Also great discord server <3

The Kingmaker Histories: Very very charming writing and world building. The world building is alternate history in a way that the fantastical elements occur to you naturalistically as you listen. Lovely lovely cast. Self aware about its tropes and excellently uses em to their advantage. Acknowledges a lot of the darker facets of history in an almost satirical manner to its absolute benefit

The Bright Sessions: Was actually my first full audiodrama! Was obsessed with it for a while. A good comfort listen imo, it's character chemistry is definitely a strong suit; a very human look at fantastical people

Fawx & Stallion: Narm-y but so genuinely charming. I absolutely love the casting choices, I think they're all so perfect for the characters. I'd almost call it a satire played straight, where the main characters behave in nearly caricature levels of eccentricity, but their consequences are shockingly grounded. It's pleasant! Can't wait for the next season

Ethics Town: I'm a philosophy sociology student, legally cannot not recommend. It subverted my expectations for what the format of the story would be tbh! In a neutral way, it just took me by surprise the first time. The world building is very fun and relatively unique, it gets you attached in a way that can really make your stomach drop

The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity, and Mortality: SO GOOD AND SO SLEPT ON!! I loved this show so much, its one of those that leave you craving for something to hit you the same way it did. One of my favourite anthology shows, mainly because of how interlinked the over all plot is to all of it, all while keeping the stories so fresh and invigorating. Listen to it!!!

SCP: Find Us Alive: The characters and cast are excellent; and I like how strained and tense the relationships between them get! It's not necessarily comfortable to listen to, but it's investing and leaves you on edge just like the characters would be. I like their personal lives breaching the strict professionalism of their work gradually. No prior knowledge of SCP really necessary

Jar of Rebuke: Really poignant in the alienation it portrays. I love the way Jared experiences the world and himself; his understanding of his own gender, the way that his innate abilities don't correlate to those of others, the way that he never feels quite like he's saying the right thing, it's all such mfmfjdndmdm good show. Unfortunately audio does sometimes tick off my sensory issues

Neighborly: I LOVE GOTHIC HORROR SO MUCH OH MY GOD. I love the narrative structure and the domestic horror of this show. The ambiance and the dreamy story telling all excellent. The one issue I have is that listening to it with headphones REALLY fuck with my sensory issues :((

Blake Skye Private Eye: Really slept on imo! The exaggerated noir setting and pacing are great, unfortunately the audio leveling does mess with my sensory issues :( is someone willing to lend me a better auditory system

Shelterwood: As aforementioned I LOVE GOTHIC HORROR SO MUCH. THE SUBLIME. THE DOMESTIC SUSPENCE. LOVE THAT SHIT. I really love the sound design here. Characters are so so real. Love them. Can't wait for more

Keep it Steady: Fuck fuck fuck man. I cried most of the way through heart brockoken this is so good I love it cant wait for more.

Speed round for podcasts I like to throw on for light hearted (to me) quick, queer fluff

- Love and Luck

- Kaleidotrope

- The Two Princes

- The Lavender Tavern

- Tales from the Low City

- Monstrous Agonies

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 괴물/Beyond Evil.

Beyond Evil is a 2021 Korean drama about two cops that solve a small-town murder that one of them might have committed. Also there's more than one murder to be solved. Also more than one of those murders happened twenty years ago. Also, the cop might have gotten away with at least one of those too.

It got sold to me on the strength of the main pairing, which is absolutely captivating and worth the price of admission. But the entire cast is amazing, the story is great, and it's all just so satisfying. I love everyone in this weird small Korean town. I love having emotions and various Korean foods with them.

I got five reasons why you should watch it! Read 'em!

1. Do You Want To See An Old Man Cry?

In fact, do you want to see every man cry? Do you want to see every man in the cast either cry or pretend to cry or be on the verge of tears at least once? Do you want to see the main characters, who are both men, cry multiple times, often while otherwise wet as well?

Well, buddy, Beyond Evil has got you covered.

2. Absolute Nightmare/Absolute Nightmare

I do not consider it a spoiler to tell you that Han Juwon (the younger one, on the right) is a very mentally unstable superboy. You already know everyone thinks Lee Dongsik (the older one, on the left) is psycho -- it's nearly the first thing you learn about him. But when you're introduced to Han Juwon, you're given the impression that maybe he's just cold, self-possessed, and competent.

No. He is an absolute freak. This is a freak4freak relationship. They are both completely unhinged. They have both been traumatized to nigh-unimaginable degrees, and they have each decided to make it the other's problem. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for both of them, they both get off on that real hard, and they get real mad sometimes about how hard they're getting off on it. It's delicious.

And yet what makes it great is how they're different flavors of freak. They've got the age difference (40 and 27). They've got the height difference (even though the actors are only like 1cm apart, the whole thing is somehow shot like there's a bigger gap). They've got the class difference (small town weirdo and cop royalty). One's a messy bitch, and one's a prissy prince. One has a whole network of people who affectionately endure him, and one has exactly 0.73 friends. One wants to take care of everyone else but not himself, and one has never looked out for anyone else a day in his life. One's a smug little shit, and one's ... also a smug little shit, but differently.

You have perhaps been given the impression that Beyond Evil is like Hannibal, and that Juwon/Dongsik is like Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter. It's not, and yet it scratches a similar itch, if that makes sense.

Don't let me give you the impression that this is textually gay. They do not smooch or anything, so don't be waiting for that. But holy cow, is it homoromantic -- and the leads know it is, and they roll around in it, and everyone else in the production supports their doing it. They have the kind of chemistry stars are jealous of. (It helps that the younger actor is a muffin who has a such crush on the older one.)

And that's even before the part where they get married live on national television. Is that a joke? You'll have to watch to find out.

3. Lee Changjin (and the other antagonists)

I'll talk in a second about excellent and despicable all the bad guys are. But I need a special moment for this motherfucker right here.

Lee Changjin is a wretched, scummy piece of shit who damn near walks away with every scene he's in. He's not the worst like a little meow meow -- he is the actual worst, and it's so good. He's sleazy. He's pathetic. He's hot as fuck. You meet his ex-wife, and you're like, no, honey, sure it was a bad decision, but I totally get it.

Clearly he has a special place in my heart, but all the bad guys in this series are done so damn well. Their realism makes them even scarier. They're not incomprehensible ghouls out there being bad just to be bad. They're (mostly) making calculated decisions based on keeping their own heads above water, and to hell with everyone else.

I'm not going to spoil the identity of the murderer for you -- but it kind of doesn't matter, because you find out who it is less than halfway through the show (and because there are multiple people in this show who've killed someone). There's something bigger and more awful at work here, perpetrated by people that you knew were bad news from the moment you met them.

Beyond Evil is a cop show that is not copaganda, because one of the biggest villains in the series is misuse of police power. The show stresses accountability for police misconduct -- to the point where that accountability hurts characters we want to see get away with stuff because, come on, their bad behavior was totally justified! But it wasn't! The ends do not justify the means here. The world is not better when powerful people use their power to get out of the consequences of their shitty, selfish actions, even when those shitty, selfish actions were objectively kind of cool.

Fair warning, a lot of this show is about complicated relationships with abusive, absent, deceased, and otherwise difficult parents. Those parents are not always (or even mostly) the bad guys -- but the bad guys are all shitty parents. And yet, their adult children are tied to them in complicated ways that do said children no favors. Some of the most heartbreaking pieces of the show are about how these kids break free from those parents -- or, more tragically, don't.

4. Just plain good television

This is a series that can be handled by Your Average American Television Enjoyer Who Can Handle Subtitles. Its quality is on par with a lot of well-thought-of English-language shows I've seen. It's a tight, well-plotted story that's clear enough to be easy to follow, which is sometimes a high bar for a multi-tendriled murder mystery. The small-town setting even gives it a good source of levity to break up the otherwise tight tension.

It's only sixteen episodes long, but there are enough reveals to make a rewatch more than worth your while. The first half in particular improves exponentially on the second viewing, because once you have all the information, events and decisions that you initially read one way, you can see meant something else entirely.

I was initially going to say that if this were in English, all those fans of things like the Wire and True Detective would be super-horny for it -- except that's not true, is it? No, shows like that (which I have seen, for the record) glorify cops who can't be held down by your damn system, so they have to say screw the rules to get things done, because they're too cool and manly for things like paperwork! While Beyond Evil acknowledges that there are some places where the Korean law system is janky and might let a guilty person go free, but that doesn't mean cops get to do whatever they want about it.

My declaration of the show's quality isn't just me judging by my own tastes. This show won the Korean equivalent of Emmys for Best Drama, Best Screenplay, and a well-deserved Best Actor for Shin Hakyun, who plays that incredibly handsome horrible old man. This is a show that actual people who hand out actual awards for good television thought deserved awards.

So I guess if you always wanted to get into those shows a certain kind of dude can't stop talking about, but you had reservations about how authoritarian/libertarian/misogynistic/homophobic/boring they are, Beyond Evil is here for you!

5. Written and directed by women

This one I think is important as hell, because this is a Dead Girl Show (i.e., a show where men kill multiple women as a major part of the plot), and I know a lot of people are justifiably wary about those. However, there are no hints of sexual assault. The violence is gendered, but it's not sexualized. The murders and postmortem mutiliations are handled with the appropriate horror, but it's not torture porn. And the dead girls are treated like -- and grieved like -- actual humans who matter.

I think a whole lot of this can be chalked up to the fact that both the writer and the director of Beyond Evil are women.

In fact, not only are they both women, they're women who don't do this kind of story all the time. Shim Nayeon has directed five things, four of which are comedy/slice-of-life series. Kim Sujin has written a few dramas about mystery-solving teams, but even more comedy and adaptations of webtoons. I have no idea how the two of them got put on this drama together, but it was a perfect match.

This is not to say that men would be incapable of pulling off a story like this. It is, however, a commentary on violence, and how different it looks if you've grown up seeing yourself everywhere as its object rather than its subject. Sure, you could just flip the script and make a story about a lady punchkicker! A lot of people have, and I've enjoyed many of them! But you could also choose to tell a story about gendered violence in a way that isn't just needlessly retraumatizing the people who have to live their entire lives under its shadow. Moreover, you could tell a story about how even good-guy cops can wind up unintentionally buying into paradigms where some women are valuable and some are disposible.

...And if it winds up being teensy bit of a fantasy story about a world in which so many cops give a shit about this violence, well, that's what fiction is for, right?

In short, you love a team of powerful ladies power-drunk on an Arnold Palmer of Respect Women Juice and Sad Man Tears.

Bonus: BANGER SOUNDTRACK

Oh, it's so, so good. (Spotify link)

Have I convinced you to watch it yet?

It's on Netflix, which may be easiest for most people! However, it's also on Viki, and I much prefer the subtitles over there, because a) they keep the flavor of the Korean terms of address, and b) they actually translate the damn episode titles (wtf Netflix?).

There's no bad way to watch it, though!

(ack, they're so cute~)

[assortedvillainvault]

Hi! I was browsing the Lord Shen tag and found your blog 👀. I loved the headcanons for ShenxReader through the wolf henchmen's pov ❤️.

Would you mind sharing some headcanons but from the pov of the fluffy Lord peacock himself?

Hi Anon, thank you so much!!

I'm so sorry that my Lord Shen Masterlist slipped my mind - I'm fighting tumblrs atrocious tag search to find my previous writings for him and get them on there for you. In the meantime please - have some more!

Lord Shen x Reader Headcannons

- This stuck up, mithery, hairpin tempered ball of anxiety and condescension is officially your problem now. I mean. You chose this, so I’ll leave it to you as to what end of the bad choices scale you’re landing on, but man. You sure picked.

- I also can’t get over the fact that – in China and most of the East: white is associated with death and sadness, and mourning. You not only picked the unhinged genocide gun bird, you picked the only person in all of China to be literally born emo via albinism.

- I will get back to the above, but I’m mcfucking losing it over the image of Shen being. The smaller of the two of you.

- Like if you were a smaller creature he could properly get his elegant noble stride on, nose in the air and tail gently swishing behind him as he circles you, admiring every angle and relishing the nervous, excited little glances you give him. He might not be a strictly predatory species but he sure loves that thrilling edge of not-quite-stalking. He’s too high class for the genuine article, that’s what he has the wolves for.

- But if you had the audacity to be larger than him?!

- He’d grind his teeth if he had any. He wants so badly to intimidate you – making sure to step with an extra click of metal coated talons, words honey-barbed and sticky as he looks for chinks in your armour, having to crane his head back and up to look you in the eye and- look- could, could you just- just lean down? Lean down for goodness sake just- there. There. Lovely. As he was saying…

- Shen going to go bananas planning the perfect courtship. Everything must be. Exactly. As he plans it. God forbid you trip on the stairs. If you bribe the guards to move all furniture two inches to the left you’re going to have a great time watching Shen’s eyelid twitch for twenty minutes as he tries to figure out what’s ticking him off.

- Want a shortcut? Say nice things about his cannon. No seriously, it’s not a euphemism (though it could be-)

- The cannon is the culmination of Shen’s ambitions, the reason for his exile, the demonstration of ingenuity that set him apart. Seeing you run a hand smoothly over the intricate castings and complimenting his life's work is going to fill him with so many butterflies he’ll have the wedding ready by noon.

- Of course he does, underneath all the royal snobbery and sass, really, genuinely like you. More than he ever thought he could ever like another person. Go you.

- ...He can’t contain the terror that you might not like him back. Not because of all the murder, no, that’s clearly not the issue. But because he isn’t perfect enough for you. Because he’s not enough.

- Shen popped out of his egg all but rocking the 2007 bangs and MCR soundtrack of his time: born the colours of death in a house and species traditionally all the colours of the rainbow will have been like a self fulfilling prophesy – unspoken but not forgotten as he grew up and internalised his inadequacy by striving for excellence in literally everything else in life.

- Excellence in the form of weaponry, security, excessive control and genocidal ruthlessness. Combined with ingenuity, high intelligence and paranoia: all wrapped in a package of straining courtly manners and a need to constantly have the upper hand.

- You keep taking the fucking rug out from under him by reversing the script and being nice. Even his nanny (soothsayer, who has having a great time munching popcorn and giving incidental commentary) gives him shit and drives him up the wall – yet you’re out here, smiling (how dare you-) and- and saying he looks good (he knows, knows he looks sickly and out of place, a reaper amongst royalty-) and – of course you want to hand his hand really, who wouldn’t (who would?) - he’s fine, he’s fine-

- If he dared to let you go, he’d shatter like a discarded doll.

- How does it feel, reader, to hold the fate of all China in the balance of your smile?

[crehador]

brother crab's fall 2024 parting thoughts: murai no koi

i'm gonna be so honest with you guys this was fucking awesome. teacher/student romcom is not something that would catch my eye normally but i picked this one up for the cast (amachan AND haruki hello) and i'm really glad i did

the romance itself, ngl, was pretty predictable and for much of the show i wasn't really invested in it. when the love triangle cropped up later on i was even actively rooting for the other teacher guy because like. he is just a hot mess emphasis on hot

but anyway it's your standard "we knew each other when we were Much younger, before we were teacher/student" deal with a... reasonable resolution to the teacher/student issue i guess. i'm not like a hater about the main romance but it's probably obvious that isn't the thing i really loved about the show

what i did love was

IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS. okay the humor is amazing, the comedic timing, the delivery of the voice actors, even the subs absolutely nailed the humorous tone. like for me, in this romcom, the com part is definitely what really shined

the ride and die friendships between the students were also just so much fun to see. kiriyama is going in the little guys of all time hall of fame immediately. the boys will be boys energy he, hirai, and murai have together is just plain fun, and the other friends surrounding them are all entertaining characters too

most people will have gripes about the animation i'm sure, but just like with gokushufudou (it's the same series composition guy) i honestly liked it. i seriously, genuinely do not think this is Bad animation. call it slideshow animation if you must, but imo it's a perfectly fine stylistic choice that was done well and worked perfectly with the tone of the show. like i know i'm in the unpopular opinion camp here, but to me it is a genuinely enjoyable style of animation that's particularly well-suited to this kind of comedy. i felt this way about gokushufudou and i feel this way about murai no koi, i will absolutely watch more of whatever work yamakawa susumu does next

anyway

tl;dr as a romcom the rom was just fine but the com was banging, the whole cast of characters was entertaining but for me kiriyama hard carried this from fun to excellent, i personally liked the animation boo me if you must

[jesncin]

I really enjoyed your excellent deep dive examination of Ma'alefa'ak and the underlying attitudes of ableism present in the writing. It's an aspect of the character that has always disappointed me and, honestly, combined with the hoary old cliche of an Evil Twin just left me cold. (Ma'al also began the trend of DC defining too many Post-Crisis stories around the reveal of YET ANOTHER Martian survivor, only for them to be bad news. Whilst that isn't strictly his fault, he certainly opened that door and no one's gotten around to shutting it yet.) Your remarks about J'onn's beliefs being too ill-defined also ring true. In his original appearance he had a science background, by the Bronze Age this had shifted into a military VIP, before finally doubling back and codifying Manhunter (re: cop) as his profession Post-Crisis. He's all over the fucking map about what his views are, what motivates him, and why, which persists even into the current comics. That's a roundabout way of me getting to my ultimate point: I've become quite fond of your reinvention of Ma'alefa'ak. Initially I was sceptical because I saw little reason to revisit the character, but you won me over by using Ma'al to remedy multiple shortcomings in the MM status quo. Rehabilitating Ma'al grants J'onn a direct foil, expands his (sorely undernourished) supporting cast, and most importantly allows J'onn to define himself by putting his beliefs into action. He's willing to give up his station, his privilege, and his life on Mars to defend his brother's right to live. That conveys so much to the audience and provides us with greater understanding of what makes him tick. Ma'al getting to be more than just despicably EVIL also gifts us with an overtly disabled character who is allowed to express themselves and help bolster the strongest themes of the Martian corner of the DCU. Apolgies for the wall of text. Thanks for all your creative work and I'm looking forward to more!

asdfasf!! oh my gosh thank you so much for all these kind words!! Gosh like I know a good bunch of how I play around with Martian worldbuilding will probably fly over most people's heads since J'onn's lore is not common knowledge to even DC fans, but it's when someone knows the material I'm pulling from and can see exactly how my choices are informed that I get really!! Happy! Emotional! Thank you 😭😭 more martian talk below asdfasf

in short: YES TO ALL THIS! I agree that while Ma'al had a whole history before he came to Earth as A Surviving Member Of An Extinct Race Turns Out To Be Bad News, he still absolutely kicked off that trend of rogues for J'onn. Kind of similar to how M'gann really shifted Martian lore away from ableism and more towards racism and civil war.

Right! I think the fact that J'onn's occupation changes so much (where he's even reimagined as a sort of renaissance man with how many Martian jobs he had) before settling on "generally a cop" makes J'onn's ideals all the more ill defined. Clark is a working class investigative journalist and that informs his heroism! He has the themes of hope, marginalization and survival to inform it too. How does any of J'onn's occupations inform his heroism in any specific way? Especially when modern versions of J'onn reimagine him as both a Black man and a cop (when paired with Martian racism it's even worse) 😭 this stuff needs to be thought through! Most of the time, J'onn's just saving people because it's his job. He's a cop because that's the closest analog to what being a manhunter is on Mars, but then what? Why does he care?

And lastly once more! Thank you so much on the kind words about my version of Ma'al and J'onn! It means so much to me when I can take a "but why him tho" character out of obscurity and get people to understand just how much this change can really benefit not just Ma'al, but J'onn and Martian lore as a whole. I truly believe Ma'al is the key to revitalizing Martian Manhunter as a superhero, and your response perfectly describes why.

It was important for us to still have J'onn grapple with some sort of grief (since that's such a prominent theme for him) but have him actively demonstrate his ideals when put under pressure and show what he truly believes in. J'onn is usually pitched as "Batman meets Superman" because he's an alien detective, but the result is J'onn being redundant of both. We thought, since Bruce and Clark didn't have a choice in the inciting incidents that started their origins, why not make it so J'onn has an active choice in his? We shifted his ideals from his vague "I'm protecting my new home so it won't suffer the way Mars did" to "No one fights harder for what they love than J'onn J'onzz". Shifting the trajectory of the character from grief to radical love.

In the process of re-interpreting Ma'al from being allegorically/coded as disabled to being an explicitly disabled character, Martian ableism can be more properly discussed as the strongest theme to Martian lore (that functions way better than the shapeshifter racism). And in turn, we got to deconstruct the inherit authority-protecting respectability of J'onn's canon heroism.

I like the green guys a whole lot

[space-blue]

Prometheus as a TV series

Firstly, I want to specify that I only saw Alien, Alien Romulus, and the prequels. I'm due to watch Aliens this weekend. I've not read ANY comic or novel.

From my POV, Prometheus and Covenant are extremely weird because they are clearly excellent premises for TV series.

This was originally written in reply to someone who thought the Prequels undermined the cosmic horror by leaning too much into sci-fi and genomics around the Engineers. I argued that none of the prequels' content goes against horror and that the films are simply in the wrong format!

They're both currently terrible because people are forced into dumb exposition to cram information on the screen and dumb actions in order to make a monster movie happen inside what is otherwise an ambitious and philosophical sci-fi premise.

There's large casts of very skilled people. Fuck, in Prometheus there's one of the richest and most influential people in the human galaxy secretly aboard the ship. You'd think this would be absolutely great stuff to explore. Perfect opportunity to see how warped someone like Peter Weyland is, and also the sort of bonkers power he wields.

His relationship to his children (his daughter and his android "son") was very intriguing to me in the film, and considering how vital David 8 is to the prequels as a whole, this would have been great drama to explore further.

Focusing on Prometheus here:

A TV series would have given us a smart, not hectic Holloway. His turn to despondency could be more gradual. His difference in reaction to Shaw could, given time, explore different ways people of faith react to having that faith shaken. I think he's the main source of idiotic scenes throughout, and making him less of a wanker and more of a driven and soft spoken nerd would go a very long way.

Our extra time could also give us time to flesh out Shaw. She could reveal her infertility in a more reasonable environment, like while testing prior to the original cryo-sleep.

Starting on Earth and staying there longer would also help build the Engineers and the act of going after them as something spookier.

In general, the prequels massively sanitize space. It's also the case in Romulus. Space is treated as this negative area that is a source of hard vacuum and zero G. It's not treated as something inherently scary, but we all know that's perfectly doable.

Going to look after the "Engineers" sounds silly in the film because the team is honest to goodness just following cave paintings. They would benefit from following a lead, like perhaps finding the star system and studying it, only to detect strange emissions from it.

(Just in case you forgot, looking at a star is looking at how it was in the past. You look at a star 30,000 light years away and see how it was 30,000 years ago, when those photons left it. Which means we could reasonably pick up sus stuff that motivates a visit, but also means Holloway would understand the concept of being late to the fucking party lmao).

This entire idea, going on a very distant trip to an unknown system, could use time to have anxiety built around it. People could push with serious argument, highlight in universe disasters that happened during similar blind trips, etc. The emptiness and harshness of space are very easy to capitalise on, and going to an unknown system without sending probes first could help frame this as a risky venture, having us on edge and also showing the depth of faith of Shaw and Holloway. BUT ALSO the depth of wicked corporate slavery Weyland can go to, with the rest of the crew hired without any information that would let them make an informed choice on this job.

The arrival around the planet could be spent scanning and being professional. If we spend actual time scanning the surface and following reasonable protocols, the audience won't be poking fun at your show/film for showcasing scientists doing unsafe/idiotic stuff, and also have time to get attached to the red shirts! So it'll hurt when they begin dying!

I think the fans of alien would also appreciate a show that takes its time with the alien world discovery aspect? I feel like these films have neither the time nor the inclination to lean into the science and discovery aspect. Like it happens, but it's not indulged in or treated seriously. Yet aren't we also fans of Arrival? Of Annihilation? Or JC's Avatar?

There are scifi films out there that expect us to be invested in the discovery process, and we are! But Alien isn't one of those franchises. Every film I've seen so far has the science kept secret (Ash), already ruined (Romulus), aborted or discarded in the face of action, but also entirely handwaved or ignored (Prometheus and Covenant)

Like honest to god, you have an Android who is the only one paying attention to ALIEN WRITING and immediately knows HOW TO USE IT and nobody gives a shit, asks about it, is curious about annotating it or even learning it. It's never even mentioned? Like What the Actual Fuck? And in a film where the main goal is to find the aliens in question to have a chat to them, nobody is interested in decrypting the language??

Going back to our timeline, since we have time for the exploration process, we can begin ramping up the anxiety. We can make up some fun new stuff, like this:

What if we were blocked from communications? We could have the characters make incredible discoveries (that the buildings are made by real aliens would be exciting enough, but writing on the walls??) and promptly our crew realises that all communications are being jammed. Not between them, but between the main ship and anywhere else in the galaxy. Maybe the entire system is shrouded somehow and they have literally no idea how. Can't figure the tech behind it or its source. You can start having the one security/military guy announce they should retreat. After all, the planet is there, the buildings have been there for a very long time, they should go and come back later. It'd be more secure to figure out the range of this jamming and maybe call in reinforcement.

We can start dividing the crew! With all the scientists basically too over the moon to mind, and Weyland a silent driving force who doesn't give a shit!!

I think that Holloway sticking to protocol and not removing his helmet at all would help making the confusion and angst greater if he started showing symptoms like his wormy eyes. When did it happen? Was bringing the head aboard a mistake? Was that all it took? ((David grinning in the background))

We could then enjoy an entire episode of mounting paranoia and terror as the show splits between the geologist and biologist stranded in the building and the Prometheus crew growing paranoid and further divided: what if the team was split between the science crew and the ship crew? The scientists are containing Holloway and getting absolutely horrified by what they see happening to him, while the workers are being kept in the dark and told nothing.

A downtrodden and disrespected Wey-yu worker POV wouldn't hurt!

I personally think that Holloway basically morphing/dissolving/losing himself in front of the scientists while they all fail to understand what's happening to him and are completely incapable of stabilising him would be far more horrifying than his suicide by immolation at the hands of a neurotic billionaire. It would also make David's jab about Shaw's dad dying of Ebola more impactful. Rewatched the movie recently and was like "what, her dad died burnt alive before her too??? Oh..."

By the time David finds an Engineer alive, tensions could be high enough that the ship would be on the cusp of mutiny. A good writer could make us really feel 50-50 on "value of answers from a live engineer" vs. "getting the fuck away from this planet".

Also "the engineers are us, we have the same DNA" bit is flat out stupid and leaves a million more questions than it answers, and zero mystery besides. This concept could be much better explored for angst. There are so many directions we could go!

Their DNA could contain every human genome and then more. It could change while it's observed. It could be related to us without being a perfect match. Better yet: it could refuse observation, making every machine bug out and return invalid results. Just stuff to keep us on our toes while David does his parallel observations on the black goo.

Even if we go in depth in the genomics, explaining the thing doesn't have to destroy the appeal of the thing.

I think in particular that we could explain the engineers themselves as our creators and users of the goo, only to thicken the plot as we realise they have no fucking clue what they're doing with it and we're a stray experiment left to run wild in a forgotten petri dish. The idea that the engineers used but did not understand the goo, that it was a tool they inherited themselves from fucking around darker, deeper corners of the galaxy, would be cool.

WORSE yet, it would be interesting to discover they themselves were made by some other culture/force/entity/creation process, and we are like... a by-product. What if we are the David 8 of the engineers, who are the David 8's of something else yet? Or that the Engineers aren't even "made in the image of" their creators? Maybe the whole likeness (between them, us, and our androids) is just a recent tendency we're showing, but not something the Engineers have to share with their own creators.

We could come seeking answers, and realise the Engineers didn't even have any themselves. We could be left to realise we are just the mold on the rind of a cheese, far from understanding the intricacies of 5-star dining. That's how far removed we are from understanding the forces at play.

This would be plenty cosmic horror.

God is a well polished concept, but we have a very narrow and human centric understanding of it, and it may be meaningless. Imagine if you saw Shaw lose faith only to regain it with a streak of madness? Imagine if we had the time to explore what a cosmic horror on the scale of "At the mountains of madness" would do to a religious modern person who has come searching answers and found more than she could take?

If Shaw were a Lovecraft protag, she'd say stuff like the black goo being the blood of the gods that made the Engineers, all bled dry now. Weird poetic shit should come back xD

Also. Close your eyes for a second and imagine the scene of David speaking to the Engineer. And for the lolz, let's say that the Engineer speaks back, and David adjusts, and they end up having what looks like a meaningful exchange of a few words.

Then the Engineer pats his head and wrenches him apart, and the ending comes around, only for David to staunchly refuse to ever elaborate on what the Engineer told him. Certainly another great reason to keep him around...

I hope I've made my point. If more than 50 people lose their shit on this post, I'll make a Covenant TV show post too, though it's more of a fixer-upper.

Bonus for reaching the end, a happy David:

The ultimate argument, of course, is that given 16-18 episodes of great Prometheus TV, we would have had so much more David...

[quicktimeeventfull]

Excellent Life Choices: A Sachiko/Soichiro/L fic.

hello the beloved @lightyaoigami requested something insane. i hope this is suitable. this is a no-kira au.

L was making a commitment to himself. He was going to stop letting his dick make one hundred percent of his decisions. It could still make some of them. He was fond of it, and he would not deny it that. Nonetheless, there had to be some balance. His brain had to be engaged at least some of the time. 

He was thinking about this as the two fifty year olds he’d been fucking a few minutes ago were trying to convince him to leap out their bedroom window.

“You’re young,” Sachiko was saying, as he peered out the window. There wasn’t even a trellis. There was just a straight fifteen foot drop. “You’ve got good knees.” “He might die,” Soichiro said, reasonably. Then, less reasonably, “I’ll teach you how to do a roll.” 

The issue was this: they had just heard their son come through the front door, one floor down. 

(Why is he back so soon, Sachiko had hissed. He was supposed to be at a love hotel. This had generated a series of questions he elected not to ask while he was willing his erection to wilt.) 

“I think,” L said. “I’m going to go out the front door.” 

There was a long silence. He turned around to find both of them staring at him. Soichiro had put his shirt and pants back on, but Sachiko was still sitting there in her very practical bra and underpants. “You can’t do that,” Soichiro said, very firmly. “I’m sorry, son. I know it’s difficult, but you’re going to have to jump out the window.” “Could you not — I would prefer if you didn’t call me that, right now.” L said. In general he didn’t mind, and he also didn’t want to think about what this implied about his psychological wellbeing, but he felt everyone’s clothes should be on when such words were spoken.

Before they could insist any further that it would be okay for him to break all his limbs, he began gathering up his shirt and boxers and pants; he slipped them on as quickly as he could. He wished Sachiko would put her clothes back on, too, so his dick would stop expressing its opinions. “I’ll be quick,” he promised. “I’ll sneak. Listen, he’s heading back up the stairs. Right now. He’s going into his room.” He was pretty sure this was true — he could hear his footsteps. The Yagami's house had a funny way of throwing about sounds, but he was still almost entirely certain. “He won’t hear me. He won’t know.” Then, when they looked unconvinced. “Look, he’s going to be much more curious if he hears someone screaming as they fall through your window then finds a dead man on your lawn.” 

This seemed to work. “Fine,” said Sachiko. Then, “We’ll call you.” He would answer. Unfortunately. He knew this. He told himself very firmly that he would at least think about his answer before immediately agreeing to whatever they asked. “Right,” he said. “Well. This was lovely. Maybe we could consider a different venue, next time.” 

Time really was of the essence. He slipped out the door and down the stairs then nearly smacked into the Yagami's son, who had apparently not gone upstairs after all but was in fact turning the corner with a bowl of cereal in his hands. 

He looked at Light. Light looked at him. 

He had never met Light before, but he’d seen his pictures around the house. He was a little younger than L, golden haired, tall, sort of generically handsome in a way L probably would have appreciated if he were lucky enough to harbour age-appropriate fantasies. Light, he supposed, had never seen him. 

“Who are you,” Light said, flatly. 

The cereal, L noted, was some sort of fancy granola with cherries in it. The Yagamis had fed it to him a few visits ago. 

“I am —“ L cast around for an appropriate lie. He was generally quite good at lying, but at the moment he was a bit frazzled. “The electrician.” “The electrician,” Light said, even flatter. He looked down pointedly at L’s dick, which was simply not as flaccid as L would have preferred in the present moment. 

But there was no backing out. “Yes. The electrician. Your — outlets are fixed now. The wires, and so on.” 

“Great,” said Light. He ate a spoonful of granola. It felt strangely pointed. L had not been aware, previously, that it was possible to eat granola aggressively. “Could you please get the fuck out of my house.” 

There was really nothing on earth L wanted more. “Absolutely. I would love to do that. Nice meeting you, Light.” Light ate another spoonful. He did not break eye contact. L spun, and walked out the door as fast as one could possibly manage without crossing over into a run. He shut it behind him, and then, feeling suddenly very dizzy, felt back against it, breathed out, and looked up at the sky. It was very blue. 

Maybe he should have jumped out the window after all. 

His pocket buzzed. He pulled his phone out and read his brand-new text. It was from Sachiko. 

We had nice time, it said. Then, See you next week. ;) The correct answer was no, absolutely the fuck not. He pressed the back of his hand against his eyes, then took it away and looked at his phone again. He reminded himself that he was in control of his destiny and capable of making dignified choices. Then he started to type. 

Of course. Always. I'll be there.

[cripple-punk-dad]

Being a physically, visibly disabled, full-time wheelchair user in technical theater is absolutely hellish, btw. I have yet to see a backstage, tech booth, fly rail, seating area, bathroom, or catwalk that would actually meet ADA standards 100%.

I have been told by MULTIPLE professors, all of which have had a long career in the professional industry that I am the first wheelchair user they know who is interested in theater tech. Some of these people are in their 50's-60's. These are the same professors that come to me, A FRESHMAN (1st year!) to ask about casting choices/potentially offensive dialogue/sensitivity reading. I'm not offended by that, just exceptionally concerned about the apparent lack of resources.

All of the literature I have found about disabled people in theater focuses heavily on physically disabled actors (it is excellent that those books exist, obviously. Don't misconstrue that).

Best/standard practice for intimacy and fight choreography completely ignores mobility aid users. In fact, most of the people I regularly interact with have absolutely no idea how to talk about physical disability in any capacity. I had an upperclassman ask me if "invalid" was more offensive than "cripple", for Christ's sake.

Don't even get me STARTED on the disabled exceptionalism that is rampant in this industry. I feel this pressure to be the best at literally everything because if I don't, then no one will hire me because if I'm not overqualified, they aren't going to want to accommodate me (even if they're required to by law). If they think you're a defective cog before they put you in the machine, they're going to buy another fucking cog.

And of course, because it's fucking theater and it's all usually just one big network of circle-jerking, I have to be as polite and understanding and accommodating as I can be. Because these people could potentially be my ticket to a job one day. So I have to keep up the charming, wacky goofy funny guy routine all the fucking time because someone not liking my vibes could literally mean homelessness at some point.