#EVER. in my entire lifetime
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just started 4 wips in the last like 5 days when my wips folder already has 10+ things in it. productivity!!!!!!!!!!
#i REALLY HOPE i can finish ANY OF THESE#EVER. in my entire lifetime#thoughts from hel#oh plus that animatic that ive been nominally working on#sometime soon(?) i will post a progress vid of what i have so far#its like#a minute long rn??? i think??? out of 2.5.............#every day i question why i did this#also the fact that the number of irls that know im working on this has grown lmfao. getting asked In Person 'r u gonna work on#ur infinity train animatic this weekend' insane#there are a few frames i rlly want to change before it reaches public eye but i might just. ignore them its a wip anyway#doesnt have to be polished yet (constantly reminding myself of this)
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#this was the greatest most obvious reveal of my entire life#i gasped so hard#the reveal of a lifetime#greatest reveal EVER#agatha all along#agatha all along episode 7#agatha all along spoilers#agatha all along episode 7 spoilers#rio vidal#lady death#lady death mcu#agatha harkness#agatha x rio#agatha harkness x rio vidal
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Incorrect, the fact that Biden has dropped out and a candidate with history of supporting medicare for all and being more receptive to a ceasefire in the I/P conflict has made me go from "I cannot morally support the Democratic nominee" to "I am voting for the Democratic nominee despite the fact she isn't perfect in every respect." I'm really happy this played out. The Dems for the most part abandoned the old Obama platform and it feels like its possible an actual progressive agenda could come to pass in my lifetime.
Kamala 2024!
If you weren't going to vote Democratic in this election before Biden dropped out you're a dorkass loser who does not care about any of the issues you're yammering about here and also a fundamentally bad person, and I hope you get run over by a bus.
But you got one thing right in all of this gibberish, Kamala 2024.
#personal#answered#anonymous#i mean let's be clear here no president is gonna attempt to be progressive ever again within my lifetime#because joe biden tried to do like 25% of that and got ZERO fucking credit#he did so much on healthcare on reform on loans on so many social issues and for all his litany of failings on i/p#he has been distinctly harsher on netanyahu than a good chunk of dems and certainly the entire republican party#for the first time since i was four we are not involved in any wars as americans and that is thanks to joe biden#but the thing is that he gets no credit for any of it!#him pulling out of afghanistan caused his approvals to tank in a way that never recovered#and leftists gave him FUCK ALL for it#they gave him nothing they just continued whining that even tho he cancelled a bajillion in student loans#he didn't actually cancel a QUADRILLION dollars so both parties are the same and voting is the most arduous task known to man#no democrat who is running is going to forget that catering to leftist/progressive policies gets them zero leeway with those supporters#that it not only tanks numbers but you still get constant haranguing about it anyway#so they're not gonna do it#we are gonna get fuckall for at least a good fifty years#and anything we get will be utterly in SPITE of people like you anon it will happen in spite of everything you've done#mostly because of people like me and mine who understand that voting is the bare minimum#and that for the democratic process to work the way you want it to you need to participate and not pitch a fucking fit#like a four year old who was told they can't go to disney this weekend#like i know you ratfuckers are happy this played out because this is all a game to you and you don't actually care#but that's why i've got zero faith in you people and why i'm glad it's my kind of folks#actual die hard democrats who have always been hardliners for supporting democrats in every possible election#who are picking up the slack and donating to harris and supporting her agenda#which is the exact same as biden's because she's his vice president and they share they same platform#because that's what they were both running on! twice!#anyway fuck you please feel free to find a necktie and test how tall your doorframe is
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starting a collection of tourdust pics of patrick where lights are shining like stars for him bc theyre the prettiest pics ever. to me <3
#he deserves every single light and star and bit of love and attention ever ;__;#been a day since the concert and i am ofc still just. full of sooo much love and joy for it and for them and HIM. seeing him live again#was so so so absolutely everything. god. prettiest most talented incredible man alive#he means the entire world to me. my sunshine of a lifetime <333#txt#ps#stardust era#p: 100
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sometimes I think I can be normal while taking screencaps of my beloved husband. I am always incorrect
BONUS BECAUSE I'M IN THE THROES OF AGONY OVER THIS STATUESQUE MAN
#your honor i LOVE him#in my dreams i am always in flagrante delicto with him#any time any place any position he wants it he has it#the bonus picture makes me weak in the knees AAAUGGHHH#i need to be wrapped around him so tight he can't breathe#i just. want to hear him moan one time#ONE TIME and i'll be satisfied#but this whole set is just perfection to me#every time i see him in that snuggly blanket by the fireside my brain goes into full domestic scenario mode#where am i???#where am i in these photos if i'm not tucked up under his arm with my head on his chest??#the sexiest thing maximus ever did was exist#he literally does not have to do anything he can just stand there#and i am a flood of desire for him#look at his beautiful sparkly eyes and his perfect nose and kissable lips and smooth neck and LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM#i need him emotionally physically spiritually biblically and every other way there is to have him#i need to experience the Broadness personally#in my bed#for an entire night and also an entire lifetime#i would NEVER get bored even if we did the exact same thing over and over#just to be with him i would be content forever#gladiator#maximus#maximus decimus meridius#gladiator 2000#russell crowe#low quality screencaps of a high quality man
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Real talk though;
Can we talk about Sky??
I have many many questions?
(Mostly I just feel bad for her for getting THAT shafted out of literally any independent character??)
Like really, what in the seventeenth circle of fuck was *gestures* her entire plot line/existence?
Genuinely, how is no one talking about this?? Girl is a walking plot thread/plot hole/thematic angle that didn't ACTUALLY get used/black hole of personal autonomy and character development?? What the ACTUAL hell was the idea there??
More rants in the tags. Because my confusion knows no bounds.
#arcane#arcane s2#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#Its not even like she was “in the way” of jayvik or wtf ever. she literally makes no sense.#like mel? Mel makes PERFECT thematic sense.#There's at least three different takes/directions/lenses you could apply to her jayce and viktor#queer repression. science over politics. beautifully synergized and navigated polyamory representative of personal and political balance#any combination of the three in varying measures?? Something entirely different or less literal!#but sky?#the fuck actually was that?? I'm going fucking insane. Befuddled even.#I'd like to think I'm just being an idiot/ too much of a gay chick (with trust issues from a lifetime of#of being utterly fucked around by garbage writing on female characters and general heteronormativity) to “get” it.#but I don't think I am my good dudes. I'M trying to see the message in the patterns#and I am coming up broke friends.#shes an underdeveloped morality pet basically. but what else?#What was her purpose and/or was she genuinely just alarmingly bad/jarring writing in the middle of an otherwise pretty good show?#The fuck did they think they were doing?
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More handwritten fanfiction!!
I've decided to just write this entire bubbamiah fic in my notebook and honestly it's so much fun to write on paper. I've said this before but I genuinely recommend you try this out if you're a writer, even if it's just for a bit. It makes you think about your word choices more because it's so much harder to edit a mistake when it's on paper.
#shoot from the hip#sfth fanfiction#junyu's fanfics#I feel like I'm erring on the edge of too much spoilers for this fic lol#this might be the last handwritten fanfiction post from me#(that's a lie)#(but my next update will probably when the whole fic is finished just for spoiler's sake)#anyways this is completely off-topic but for those who read my absurd amount of tags on posts#(first of all thank you for doing that :'])#I'm thinking of entering fictober this year but idk if it's a good idea cause I'm like the world's slowest writer#but also one only experiences so many octobers in their lifetime and what if I stop writing by next october#I don't wanna end my fanfiction career without ever doing a fictober event :(#but also doing fictober would absolutely fuck over my entire schedule and that's not good#I have a fic for day 2 started but like if I post it then I'm committed to this so I have to write for the other days#also day 2 is literally almost over so#idk thoughts?#(this is such a random tangent lmao I'm so sorry)
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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there is something so entirely fucked about Louis’ psyche… look at it all! the physical beatings to an obscene degree, the damaging affairs, the psychological warfare, the public humiliation, the participation in the murder of their only beloved daughter. Lestat does this all to him, or a significant amount even if memory is playing its wicked games. Lestat is a vicious horrible thing with his teeth marks on every part of Louis and yet even with decades of freedom, a new partner, the ability to recognise and condemn cruelty and abusive actions, Louis still wants him back. Knowing what he is, what he can do, Louis wants him back. It never mattered if vampires can dream, for Lestat haunts his waking days, a torturous vision of the only living one Louis really loves.
#LOUIS GIRL YOU’RE INSANE??????????#lestat is so fucked and unhealthy but like Louis wants him??? I feel like people brush past that a lot#this isn’t a tortured young woman in a basement refusing to leave because she can’t handle freedom#this is knowing freedom and ‘better’ (armand is a liar and batshit too! but I doubt he’s throwing louis off towers rn)#feeling freedom for DECADES being told you can get out and do better#after basically being tortured by a guy who you loudly proclaim to hate#but you want him. you love him. he haunts you. you’d give the world for him back. even after everything he did#lestat is the type of man to burn up the entire world. louis is the type of man to see all the bodies and take him back anyway#louis has two deaths that mark his conscience but otherwise. otherwise…#louis will never forgive what happened to claudia. but he will take lestat back. and love him.#the real pain was that she was right! it was lestat for louis. always. and he never ever ever ever wanted his daughter dead#he loved her adored her. he did. it was never enough love. he loved her truly though#but somehow at the same time. it was always going to be lestat. fuck!!!!!!!#louis my complicated angel!! they will try flatten you but I see all your horrid glory#amc iwtv#iwtv#iwtv spoilers#jacob anderson#sir you need all of the emmys. this is the performance of a lifetime. im gonna go listen to bloodsport brb
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post depressive episode clarity like what the fuck do you mean they'll never disappear, just fade.
#mine#tw: sh#i'll be a 30yo woman a 40yo woman a 50yo woman a 60yo woman and someday an old woman with SCARS ON MY ENTIRE LEGS?? like forever????#and i KNOW i broke through enough skin layers for these to never heal entirely like catscratches do#forever? for real? like the rest of my days? i'm never gonna have a healthy clean body like everyone else ever again?#it's THAT easy to just throw it away forever in a second?#i'm gonna be sick#what the fuck man#like both shoulders both thighs both calves entirely ruined#what the actual. fuck.#FUCK.#the awful part of the last year is over thank god#it was an episode lasting from like idk january until#august maybe#i think i'm finally feeling better#but i was really looking into legal psychiatric euthanasia there. drafting my fucking mail to the Dying With Dignity type companies#cause i went to a shrink who told me that i have bpd and while i didn't believe him#fact of the matter is that in some eu countries you're allowed to get euthanized for that. so .#but that doesn't matter i'm a bit better now i'm not thinking about it as much anymore#but it sickens me that#not only do i have to fucking take it alone#but i also have to deal with a lifetime of ridicule disgust “turn off” and pity afterwards#my own best friend told me to make sure to cover up when we slept at a relative's#and i felt it was ridiculous that anyone could even judge me negatively based on the scars when it's me who had to deal with this shit#not them!! and clearly it wasn't fucking easy!!! like if anyone it's not you who's getting hurt from this!!!!!!#i asked her whether she would ever be thrown off by seeing healed scars#and in the coldest tone she replied 'No but I would not know how to explain that to my kids.'#the relatives did not. in fact. have kids.
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i should be able to google my own family lore
#my dad's side of the family is so weird literally nobody has ever given me a straight answer of what my grandma's name is#i asked what the maiden name was of my great grandma bc there's a dispute abt her ancestry and my dad can't remember her first or last name?#his own grandma???#he knew her she was alive for a long time including in my lifetime#he's basically been estranged from most of his family for 30 years but that was his dad's side not his mom's#but even estrangement isnt a reason to forget her entire name?#on my mom's side i know my grandma great grandma and great great grandma's married and maiden names#but in my dad's side i only know my dad's last name#he remembered his grandma's married last name but that gives zero information about her and her ancestry#anyway#not that it matters in the long run it just seems sad she's been basically forgotten
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td spoilers im lettin yall know. ⬇️ for ep8 bc if i dont say smth ill die
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i need yall to know. unironically. that zee is my fave reboot character. and actually my second fave td character overall. and caleb is my LEAST favorite reboot character. and so when the elimination ceremony was like “is it caleb or zee”.
bitch. please. please dont. like are you asking ME? because that is the easiest decision of my fucking life .
#idc caleb hate on main goodnight forever.#i need yall to know this is unironically the most devestating elimination ive ever watched#fuck my entire lifetime.#td spoilers#idec#im so upset#fml.#i manifested this too w my fuckin ripaxel and zee elim post#SOMEONE KILL ME NOW.#this elim had me paused for at LEAST. a full minute#i start praying to god#not even playing
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To the [[ones]] out there who say all Spamton fans will move on once the new secret boss is out—let me say this:
Deltarune's next secret bosses could be the sexiest [[mfers]] I will ever lay my eyes on, but absolutely none of them will top Spamton.
Spamton is the [[near]] perfect blend of everything I like in a character and then some. A character that inspires and connects with me at a level this deep is not one easily replaced.
Will some other fans move on? Yes.
But not this one.
8^)
#musings#spamton g spamton#spamton#deltarune#apparently some people are unaware that a person can deeply adore a single character for years if not an entire lifetime#I have characters I've liked since I was in elementary school. lol#but even then Spamton is different#I have never felt so connected to a character in my whole life.#it's both a hilarious and mysterious feeling#hilarious because this is one of the absolute worst characters to relate to deeply since he's so screwed up#but mysterious because I never thought I'd an encounter a character like this ever
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my magnum opus i swear
#nothing i make in my entire lifetime will ever top this#dejk ill prolly love Final Lamb more (lovebrushed)#but anyway#idk bro i just#maybe im just a heizou lover
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DAY 9 OF @rtcshipweeks
I didn’t know this existed until like a week ago but it’s everything to me
#ezra has more bitches than I’ll ever have in my entire lifetime#good for him though#ride the cyclone#rtc musical#rtc#legoland#legoland play#ezra lamb#how do I tag his partners#uhhhhhh#ezra’s bitches
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bless you for raising the parvill flag o7
IT’S AN HONOR TO FIGHT ALONGSIDE YOU MY COMRADE. KEEP IT UP O7777
#i don't actually know the etiquette for responding to a submission I just indented. where I talked. hopefully that works#but anyway FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT#they are maybe the first thing ever that consumed my entire life it's the least I can do honestly. the devotion of one thousand lifetimes wo#uld be insufficient for the amount of. not going to say joy but joy too. Texture. that they've introduced to my life. and I love them.#and I want them to win.#tag later#submission
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