#ESPECIALLY since neither really got any consequences for their actions

[humlase]

If I got a nickel for every time I didn't like a universally well liked queer character for kissing someone without consent, I'd have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice.

[fanficwriterlover]

My Choice Our Consequence

Chapter 1: The Consequence...

Summary: You're a sniper/medic, part of the team 141. Everyone considers you their light, however, your light has diminished and has started taking a toll on the rest of the team because of a choice you made...now you have to face the consequences of your actions and live with that reminder forever..

Expectations: Slow burn, Breakup, Depression, Panic Attacks, Yelling, Mentions of Abuse, Mentions of SA, Romance, Slow Romance, Fighting, Violence, Blood, Killing, Shooting,Stabbing, Smut, Fluff, Flirting, Teasing, etc...

Call Sign: Hera or Lil Light

Word Count: 7.4k

A03 Version

Did you predict this would happen to you ? No...not to your full extent of your brain capacity. Were you regretting that night because you were emotional that night and took a huge risk ? Absolutely ! You wanted to kick yourself so hard for how stupid you were for not being rational, and God for bid even allowing him to keep it in. Yet, there you were, trembling in your bathroom holding a mere plastic with such simple symbols that held so much weight...

"Fuck..." you mumble to yourself. To be honest, you were horrified by this revelation, because you had broken up with your ex over a month ago, and neither of you had sex in well ages... yet during your time of solitude, you took the liberty to drown your pain with another man. Now in some cases this shouldn't be a big deal right ? I mean...just tell the man you laid with, that apparently your birth control didn't really prevent the bastards bloody seeds from entering your womb and creating a growing child. Oh yeah, with that, your ex decided to walk back into your life wanting a second chance, and he's been awfully persistent in stalking and threatening via text messages and more. Oh and to top it off...the possible father to be, had been avoiding you like the plague. So yes...everything is just lovely. You groan out in a choked sob yet you grumbled with anger. Of all people and of all times...why you ?

Over a month ago~

You had to get yourself together though, because unfortunately you weren't some mere woman who just happened to be knocked up...oh to make it worse you just so happened to be a Sargent who is part of the task force 141 as their designated sniper/medic and to make it WORSE. You were supposed to be leaving for a mission in the next hour. You dropped the plastic into your sink as you slouched down onto the cold tile flooring pressing your back to the wall and cradling your head "Oh fuck...what am I going to do" you nearly sobbed trying to hold back your tears from gushing down your cheeks.

God forbid they notice the tear stains on your cheek, or puffy eyes that are blood shot and red nose, your team will definitely be on your arse about what's got you so moody. Honestly when you noticed your mood being more...well gruff you simply thought it was due to stress. Especially what happened a month ago....all you wanted was to be left alone to eat your breakfast especially with how horrible your morning has started, the one solitude moment of peace and enjoyment. Mind you, you loved the company of Soap and Gaz (your teammates) but for some reason, their obnoxious banter and rowdiness was only making you irritable. Honestly you thought it was from lack of sleep considering a week prior your ex has been unrelenting on getting a hold of you, asking for forgiveness and wanting to try again.

He was a civilian, you knew him since highschool before you enlisted. However, this job demanded a lot and your time became few and few. Which caused a tear in your relationship, even though your ex knew of the reality of your job you always did your best to reach out to him and spend any waking hour to contact him. Sure, there was signs of distancing but you didn't know better....then after one mission, you came back early, and as eager as you were to surprise your once boyfriend, you found him on your couch with another woman. It was an earth shattering moment. In that moment of weakness you did something stupid...

I don't know how long I was standing outside in the rain...shaking and crying. An hour ? Two ? Three ? Did it honestly matter ? The image of your boyfriend in between the legs of a woman you've never seen on your couch shattered you into pieces. You were standing before the gates at your base, debating on whether to return to your bunk, but everyone knew you would be going home to your flat to be with your boyfriend. Yet the idea of confrontation by your team wasn't something you wanted to deal with at the moment. Let alone for them to see you in such a state. So you decided to do your best to sneak past everyone. Slowly dragging your feet, you made your way into the building where all the bunkers were, you could hear members laughing loudly and celebrating as you passed the lounge area. You tried to remain unnoticed and silent, sneaking by, which in the moment you thought you were successful. Drawing near as you kept walking down the halls to your door, however, what you didn't realize was a looming shadow who was watching your every move. Just as you were about to open your door-

"Why are you drenched ?" A deep Manchester voice spoke, that all so familiar voice sent a rush up your spin and it wasn't even from the cold of your soaked clothes. His voice always made you tremble and flustered. Hesitantly you made eye contact with the owner of the voice, seeing the balaclava of the skull man standing dauntingly 6'4" with his blonde lashes partially slitting his almond eyes that took in your features. Even with his eyes on you, you wanted to shrink. Mind you, Ghost and you had no qualms with one another but you always found him intimidating yet together you worked well as a team. "I- went for a walk and ended up getting rained on" you fumbled up a lie avoiding eye contact squeezing your hand on the door knob silently praying he wouldn't notice.

"That so?" He says lowly. It makes you gaze back up at him once more not fully looking in his direction as he had his arms crossed still looking down at you, you heavily gulped "Y-Yeah ?" You could see a partial shift over his eyes, it meant he raised a brow at you before approaching you more as he stood directly behind you now, his chest nearly pressing up behind you, this made you hesitantly turn to face your Lieutenant who was looking down at you more seriously. His head tilting down at your short figure his arms coming down to his sides. You had to put a hand up onto his chest to stop him from drawing any closer as your heart began to race and you immediately averted your gaze from his towering figure.

You didn't even realize he had you pinned into your door with his hand over you gripping the ledge of the doorframe as you could feel the rise in your cheeks. "You 're lying. What did he do ?'" his eyes scanned over your features. Obviously the rain did very little to hide your tear stained cheeks and the redness in your eyes. Yet you still refused to meet his gaze. For what felt like an internity his gloved hands reached up and lifted your chin slowly. The sensation of his rough leather skeleton gloves made your eyes widen as he tipped your chin up to meet his looming gaze. How could you look away now. Your eyes latched on to his menacing gaze. You can see his eyes slightly flickered with some kind of emotion...now you wouldn't consider yourself an expert on reading his expressions but you'd like to think you could a little....yet it was impossible that Ghost...the Lieutenant Ghost was sympathetic for you ?

Don't even think you realized what was happening or that he had slightly lifted his balaclava up just over the bridge of his perfectly shaped nose, that showed the hint of a scar that peeked under his mask across his strong high bone cheeks and perfect lips that has a scar slicing the right corner. You didn't even realize then, he leaned near your ear and whispered "Y/n...snap out of it" ....wait no thats not what he said.

"Oi ! Earth to y/n ! You get any shut eye ? I miss your sexy voice Bonnie" Soap snickered as you were brought back into the moment having been in position, as it seemed your mind was seamlessly going to recall that moment between you and the Lieutenant yet, your body already knew what it was doing. You had your sniper rifle in front of you with the scope brushing at your long eyelashes. You were stationed not that many klicks from where the boys were moving into action. You could see Soap stealthily moving around another building trying to move closer to the targets building without alerting the guards until they've breached their walls. Of course, the living myth and legend was leading them closer to the building, he camouflaged impressively well into the shadows for such a big guy.

Again your mind was drifting and the static in your comms rang through your ear as your Lieutenant spoke "Hera. Take the two on the west building." This snapped you to attention as you shifted your scope as he had directed, your finger moving to the trigger as you took a deep breath to stop your queasy stomach. Pulling the trigger you took down one man, who crumbled down quickly the other becoming aware of his partner down but before he could so much as spread the word you had pulled the trigger already and he was down as well. You radio into your comms "Clear. Proceed with caution Bravo 0-7, there's 4 at the back entry." You locked your rifle as you moved your eyes from the scope "Copy that Hera." He says through the comms. You had to shift positions now, lingering in one spot was dangerous, as you slid back from your spot out of sight hitting your comms "Alpha 2-8 moving positions" you swiftly made your way to another spot that gave you a different angle to where the boys were going to be entering as you got into your knees setting down your rifle.

Yet something felt very wrong. You were frozen to the spot, listening intently, your nose, due to your pregnancy, it was heightened and you could smell someone's sweat from where you were. Over the comms you could hear that Soap and Ghost had already breached the walls making their way to find the enemy hiding within the walls. Behind you, there was nothing but high grass, and you were wearing beige clothing to blend to the tall dying grass.

You pull out your knife and pistol, clicking off the safety and check it's loaded. Even now the scent was more potent, you wanted to throw up, the unwanted man was wearing heavy cologne of sorts and for anyone in the SAS that's a stupid move. Even now you could hear the ringing in the comms as Ghost and Soap updated on their movement and such.

Yet even when you heard them ask "Soap, to Alpha 2-8, what's ya status lass ? " you could hear the slight panic in Soap's voice yet right now you were remaining still observing your surroundings. Even now you can hear how frantic Soap was becoming and the deep booming voice of your Lieutenant sounded through your earpiece "Hera. What's your status." He sounded gruff and annoyed probably not to you but you did catch between the two over the comms that the enemy was not in the building and that it was a setup.

That much you already knew. You reached for the comms pressing the button and speaking softly "This is Alpha 2-8....my post has been compromised" and yet that is when you saw your stalker lunge out from the tall grass, immediately you pulled the trigger, but not before he tumbled into you having a knife in hand slicing your shoulder deeply, you yelped upon impact, tumbling to the ground, hitting the back of your head, but not hesitating to wrap your legs around the man who was trying to stab you hovering over you with him trying to push it down to your throat. You grunted trying to hold his grip as he straddled you down, you can hear Soap frantically calling through the comms "Oi! Hera ! Answer us Bonnie !" You couldn't as you grunted pushing with legs to knee him in the groin which caused him to roll off you. Quickly you reached for your dagger and rolled to where he was stabbing down hitting him then the chest, as you didn't hesitate to grab your pistol that was tossed to the side and shoot him in the head.

Panting hard you held your stomach immediately feeling sick, the blood all over your hands and face, the scent...oh God that potent iron scent. You had to move away to empty your stomach all the whole Ghost and Soap were making their way back to your last known location hearing you hurl your stomach. Ghosts loud booming voice could be heard from a distance while he hit the comms "Hera !" You began to cough more as you tried to take deep breaths. Reaching painful to the comms with your wounded shoulder "I'm good. Just had a tussle."

You were shaking looking away from the dead man, not aware that Ghost and Soap reached you. They took in the scene then you. Soap quickly approaching you seeing you look sick and bleeding "Jesus Bonnie... thought we lost you, you sure ki-" he paused mid saying "Aye...you good ?" You were going to respond but it felt like your stomach was acidic. You didn't even know. But your vision began to blur and you fainted. You could only feel strong arms quickly catch you before the fall but it was numb everywhere throughout your body. You could see the skull mask hovering and the slight glimpse of the Mohawk figure looking over you trying to get your attention. But your eyes closed.

White, a color you probably absolutely hated seeing that blinded you in every corner. Sitting in the chair your legs dangling as you fiddled with your fingers. You had recovered after you've fainted when they loaded you on the chopper, you assured the team you were just dehydrated. But of course, Lieutenant gave you that knowing glare that made you relent. You knew what the doctor was going to say, he drew your blood, tended your wounds, and checked for bruising which was on your hips, wrists, and chest.

Even now your anxiety was high as you nearly jumped out of the chair at the sight of a familiar doctor who you'd often work with around the med base. Dr.Connar. Good looking man, he was slender tallish(no where close to military big like Ghost) tustled brownish black hair, deep brown eyes and genuine smile. He was holding your chart and you knew what to expect. "We have got to stop meeting like this y/n." He snickered seeing you as he pulled up a chair in front of you as you gazed up at him waiting for the inevitable. "So...your wound isn't infected. Just some mild bruising will be gone in a couple days. You hit your head I see. Slight bleeding nothing serious though...." this was when he gazes up at you seriously over the chart we he was reading resting it on the table to the side, he leaned forward his elbows resting on his knees as he looked at you seriously

"As you know... protocol. I have to check your blood to ensure you were not given anything into your bloodstream or got an unknown infection." You nodded your head slowly not averting your eyes from his serious gaze. "Then you also know...I must give this report to your Captain of your condition? " you flinched as he considered it as a condition now looking down. His eyes still boring into you as he let out a sigh "What the fuck y/n ! You should've been nowhere near the battlefield. You could've been seriously hurt or killed !" You flinched a bit more, tears forming in your eyes as you couldn't hold it any longer.

"You don't think I don't Fuckin' know that ?!" You cry out in anger yet he doesn't so much as flinch just simply gives you a sympathetic look. "I didn't ask for this ! Any of it !" You get out of the chair huffing annoyed as you began pacing the room his eyes watching your every movement. " You know since you are my patient I'd have to put in you are suspended from combat, training, or field work. Considering even maternity leave by second trimester." He says so casually but it makes you glare daggers at him, deep down logically you know he's right but...fuck you didn't want to have everyone questioning you why you're being pulled off when you are physically fine.

"Please Peter....don't do this to me." You beg him looking at him, he stands up placing a hand on your shoulders making you look at him "Y/n... believe me. I am not doing this as your doctor. I'm doing this as your friend. If something were to happen to you-" you interjected "Nothing will, I can fight-" yet he grips your shoulders more firmly "No ! You could've lost it or your life ! I will not stand by as your doctor or friend to put your life or that child in harms way !"

Child. Huh. Funny, you just found out... could barely even consider it a child as it's just a mere embryo at this point not even a human body formed yet. But deep down, without so much thought your hand slid down touching your stomach and Peter guided you to sit into the chair. "You're my dearest friend. I know this is terrifying...but you have to think outside yourself now" you glance at him as he was boring into your eyes. You knew he was right...deep down you would want to protect your growing child. However, knowing the horrors of the world and your enemies made you terrified to think the timing was just horrible. You couldn't stop. The tears rolled down your face heavily and you sobbed into your friend's shoulder as he let you, hold you.

The next day, you were asked into the office by Captain Price, everyone was expecting you to have to hand in your medical sheet, yet you begged your friend to allow you to talk it out with your captain. You were terrified. Gazing at the door in front of you that had Price's name plate on it, you tentatively rasped your knuckles onto it. As if immediately you hear the Liverpool accent gruffly acknowledge "Enter." John has always been a comforting Captain despite his ranking he valued every solider it's why you remained loyal to this taskforce especially after being handpicking from him. He glances up from the piles of papers he was signing off seeing you enter as he gave you a content smile "Good seeing you Y/n. How are you feeling?"

He motions for you to sit as you do so nervously, "Good sir...um I brought you my medical chart" you reluctantly stretch it out within hand to offer him to look at it as he takes it, even before he opened it you spoked "Permission to ask a favor sir ?" This caught his attention as he set the file down taking in your nervous features. You looked nervous, barely looking like you've slept and definitely have been crying. He tips his head to tell you to go on "Go on..." you let out a shakey breath. "I'd like to request that...my medical condition not be shared outside this room please ?" You almost whispered the please, your eyes begging him to understand and this was a request he was taken back from. Setting the file down rather to hear it from you then read it himself . Honestly John's heart was beating so hard, it was going loudly in his ears "I'll agree...that is if you tell me what it is you have ?"

Honestly his eyes raked over your form, despite being small, you weren't exactly weak, infact he wouldn't even consider you the type to have an illness so imagine his surprise to your request yet nonetheless he was patient and understanding.

You bite your lower lip gripping at the knees of your cargo pants shamefully looking down starting to shake, John placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. You didn't realize he was sitting in front of you at the edge of his desk leaning forward. He was willing to wait until you were ready to tell, and looking into his ocean eyes you gave in "I- I'm pregnant sir..." his eyes were wide for a moment reeling from the news.

Sure he knew you had a boyfriend but you hadn't interacted with him in months that much he was aware of. He would console you some nights when you'd cry about being distant and how he doesn't treat you or touch you the same. Of course he wanted to support you, you were like a daughter to him, so he spoke softly yet with authority "I can see this is a big deal...then I am to presume..." glancing at your figure he didn't know much about pregnant women but he could tell you were no where near showing. "I will not reprimand you y/n...but I need to know." He looks at you seriously waiting.

You knew what he was asking for and it made you even more scared. Having to tell your friend was already a huge step but to tell your captain? "L-Lieutenant G-Ghost sir..." you looked down with shame.

However Price was more shocked than anything. Their Simon Riley? He wanted to gawk at this news but knew that's not what you needed right now, quite frankly he had to contain to his rank. Sitting back "You are aware of the consequences to such inappropriate conduct ? You could be stripped of your rank and court martial." He frowns at you seriously which you nod your head seldomly "Y-Yes sir" he sighs out pinching the bridge of his nose "Does he know ?" This makes you flinch. You really did not want to walk up to your Lieutenant and tell him you're possibly pregnant with his child. That's a big F no. You glance up at your Captain. "No sir... I don't think I can." He gives you a look as you respond immediately "Please Captain, I don't want to cause trouble. I'm begging you. Please make an excuse to suspend me." You gave him a pleading look.

Now under most cases he would've given into your puppy dog eyes but this was serious. You were asking him not only as a Captain but as the best friend to Ghost. To go behind his back and lie to him. He crossed his arms over his chest letting out a deep sigh "Y/n...I am not keen on withholding information from my lieutenant-" you were about to interject yet he raised his hand, which made you silence blushing heavily heart racing "However...I'll grant this request on ONE condition." You seemed hopeful with this proposition. Yet John gave you a very straight look, "I don't care when you do it. But you MUST tell my Lieutenant." He looks at you daring you to object. Now deep down you wanted to. The fear in your eyes was evident. Approach Ghost ? No way...I can barely handle his intense gaze let alone confronting him about this. You bit the inside of your cheek considering it, before relenting "I-I agree sir...when I find the right time. I will. I promise." He studies you looking to see if you were lying but he found none, if anything he just saw how fearful you were from all this so he had to trust you.

Nodding his head accepting that answer he moved back around to his chair sitting down "I will work on a reason for your suspension until you've well..." he seemed flustered to say the least as he cleared his throat. "I'll have Laswell make sure to come up with a decent reason to keep the other lads off your radar." You smile gratefully nodding you head. As you salute him then take your leave. You didn't realize how much you were holding your breath as you let out a shaky breath. Great...now how do you tell a Ghost that he knocked you up ? Grumbling softly you began walking to your bunker, by now, Price was probably working up a reason for your suspension so it seemed only right to pack. Perhaps maybe you'll find the right thing to say to him...why you....such a big responsibility on your shoulders and yet you have to make a choice. Yet depending on what you choose...will it be good ? Or make it worse ?

You make your way down the hall, heading to the food court where everyone was gathered, grabbing their trays of food. Seeing faces that were unfamiliar or people you recognize but never really got to know. Everyone was chatting with another. You took in the room, it was almost overwhelming. Especially the smell, god, the smell of men was potent. Was it always this musky smelling with different colognes drifting through the air. It made you want to hurl your stomach. That was when you felt a large arm drape roughly over your shoulders causing to grunt from the impact as you look up to meet a familiar blue eyes and Mohawk figure. Soap. “There you been lass ! Save a seat for ya’ !” You sigh inwardly “Jesus Christ Soap, I just got discharged-“ he seems to immediately look at you worriedly “You broken Bonnie ?” he studies you almost inspecting to find the source of your pain ��Nah, I’m good. Just bit sick to the stomach” he seems to relax at that patting you gently on the shoulder and pushing you to go up to grab some food “Glad you good, had us worried there for a ‘ec, shoot, don’t think I’ve ever seen LT so panicked.” He wiggles a brow at you which makes you shrink and blush before batting his arm away as you grab a tray to pick out food. “Oh hush Soap…any news since-?” you ask curiously as you grab fruits and a salad then take a glance in his direction.

He was stacking his plate up with everything. Jesus that man could eat. It made you start to realize now that you should probably eat more than you’re used to since now you’ll be feeding for two. You decided based on the selection of food presented that you would think your stomach would tolerate is a simple chicken sandwich. Placing it on your plate Soap mumbles lowly “No…nothing. Fuck’n sucks. Feels like we just chasing shadows.” You look up at him sympathetically and toss and apple at him which he fumbles to catch yet does looking at you “You need to even out your diet Soap. Need some form of fruit or veggies in that belly of yours.” As you look down with a smirk to his tray. Boy this Scottish man can eat, not one not two BUT three sandwiches. You snort shaking your head dismissively walking toward where Gaz was seated at a table waving the two of you over. As Soap snaps back “Oi ! I’ll have you know I gotta feed my gains ! We all can’t be tiny and slender like you” he grumbles. This makes you blush, because already you felt you were more bloated than usual. Sure the bump wasn’t as pronounced if anything looked like you gained a few pounds. However, you were always athletic and physically in shape.

Taking a seat next to Gaz you smile at him, which he returns the gesture “Glad to see you well Hera. Had us all worried.” You blush and smile at him. Oh Gaz was probably secretly your favorite he was charming and sweet and absolutely the best kind of friend you could ask for. He is the definition of blood brother. You two always looked after each other and you were the one who mentioned his name to Price so there was a mutual friendship long before the taskforce. “Sorry for making you worry…by the way where’s Ghost ?” you cock your head looking at both men. They seem to frown at the mention of his name but Soap finally answers “Honestly…’aven’t seen him much lately…LT been very weird lately. But I bet he’ll be happy to see you up and about,” he pats your shoulder playfully smirking at you. You laugh softly. Eventually you finally begin eating, guess they seem oblivious to asking why you fainted which you were glad. They knew exactly how to make you relax, between their bickering and story telling they made you relax and feel normal and forget about the looming secret growing.

Immediately your instinct is to reach to your thigh where you usually wore your strap holding your dagger but of course. You were literally butt naked. Turning fully to look at the figure, you realize it’s none other than Ghost. You breathe out a sigh “Fuckin’ hell Ghost. Why you have to be such a creep !” you hiss out in an annoyance after nearly being scared trying to soothe your heart rate down as you look at his eyes rake over you. “You need to sharpen your awareness then. Could’ve been anyone.” He says seriously, his arms crossed over his chest looking at you. Now not only were you flustered but him correcting you at the moment really triggered you as you snap, “Well I shouldn’t need to be on guard on base !” you glare at him, yet he doesn’t so much as seem bothered by your features. Instead he approaches you, moving closer as he looks down at you. Your back pressed into the edge of the sink as he leans forward-

The day went by so quickly, you went with the boys to shoot some rounds, finally approved by your friend to hold a rifle to shoot some rounds. Of course, your aim is flawless when holding your favorite rifle It made you feel normalize in your life. After that you decided be best to take a shower as there are so few women on this base, and most the building was set up for men, you’d often wait until late as possible to be able to shower in peace. Taking a change of clothes and a towel you enter the shower room setting your bag down and undressing. Immediately your eyes scan over your naked form, for now you showed no signs. In fact you still looked sleek and fit. Yet you knew the wiser. Glancing at the side of your profile, you immediately felt insecure, the idea your body will change and expand that you’ll put on weight made you shiver. Tearing your eyes from the mirror you step into a shower stall and turn on the water. The gushing of cold hits your hand as you wait for it to warm up, now normally your body could handle such, but now you felt it was too cold to tolerate. Even with your body barely been pregnant long it already seems to be shifting to accommodate this unborn form.

You step under the warmth of the water letting it glide over your body. Its almost cleansing feeling the water graze over your body, as you comb your fingers through your scalp down to the end of your hair length. You began rubbing yourself with your bar of soap and sponge taking your time to clean yourself fully. Once you finished you turn off the water and wringing out your hair before reaching for your towel. The bathroom room was now full of your shower steam as it fogged the mirrors. You stood in front of one of them with your towel wrapped around, leaning closer you use your hand, in a circular motion to clear off the fogged mirror only to see a skull mask looking directly at you.

Ghosts POV

When they heard you over the comms tell them your spot been compromised he felt horrified that they wouldn’t have been able to get back to you on time and would’ve found you dead. Yet instead, they found you losing your stomach. It was all weird. You were if anything the most toughest women he’s met aside from Laswell, and that speaks volume. You were someone he let his guard down with, without regret. He didn’t mind showing you his darkest side, his pain, his reminders, and face. You took him in. You acknowledged him. You were patient with him too which is something he respected about you. You were someone who carried them self with such maturity, purity, and selflessness. And he…stupidly took advantage of that. From that night.

The minute you began to faint, he was immediately lunging to your side and catching you before you hit the ground. Judging by your state, didn’t seem like you were wounded extremely. Maybe some bruising. However, he found it unusual that you were losing your stomach after killing a man. I mean, everyone’s done stuff that made them sick, but he’s seen you calm and collected stabbing a man in the neck when you were lunged at one time during a mission. He always found you resilient so seeing you this sensitive seemed odd. Soap disrupted his thoughts looking down at your passed out form “Oi, Bonnie !” he immediately checked your pulse yet he knew wiser “She ‘s alright Soap. Just fainted from the looks of it.”

He then reaches to his vest still cradling her in his arms as he radios in the help, “Nikolai, bring the helo to RV. Coming in hot, Hera fainted.” He immediately picks you up bridal style, despite wearing a vest and armor you were still light. He nods his head, “Keep up Soap” as he already begins running to the rendezvous. Upon seeing the chopper lower, you began to stir in his arms and mumbles hoarsely “I-Im good. You can put me down Ghost.” He doesn’t even look down at you saying deeply “Didn’t look that way Sargent.” Yet you protest more, which he relents to setting you carefully onto the ground. His hands honestly wanted to linger over you longer but Soap came in supporting you with your arm over his shoulder “Aye ! Glad to have you back Bonnie. Gave us quite a scare !” he shouts over the loud chopper blades as they both walk in sync to load in.

Ghost lingers a good distance scanning their surroundings before getting into the chopper. He sits across from you, his eyes not leaving your frame. You seem distant... Like your mind was elsewhere yet you tried to remain present in the moment. He couldn’t help but try to read you as you made your best attempt to assure everyone you’re fine. But he could see otherwise. The way your eyes fluttered, how you forced a fake smile that seemed to work on others but couldn’t fool him. He also couldn’t help but notice how your hand instinctively went to touch your stomach.

He squinted his eyes, ‘Did you get hit in the stomach ? Is she hurt ? She didn’t seem bothered when I had my hand there carrying her.’ All these thoughts ran through his mind during the whole flight back. Once they finally returned, you of course tried to brush off that you were fine, yet Ghost wasn’t having it. You were off. He could feel it. He simply gave you a stern look and a sharp tone, “No. You’re getting checked up. End of discussion Sargent.” This made you flinch with his tone, but he had no choice. You wouldn’t have listened to reason no matter how much Soap begged or even asked you. However one thing he did admire you for, as a soldier, you always obeyed orders. You made your way to the med base, his eyes never leaving you as he wanted to make sure you actually headed that direction, yet Soap pulled him from his line of sight. “Gee, LT, didn’t have to be all ‘trict on ‘er.” Ghost side glances Soap with a slight brow raise. Then huff. “I don’t care. She needed to be told. She listened. ‘nough said” Taking his leave before Soap could say anything else he needed to get his mind off you.

Now he stands in front of you, with you barely covered before him. This was different. He could see the traces of bruising form on your shoulder. One was peeking just above your cleavage. His eyes took you in as your drenched form stood in front of him shying away from his line of sight as he was so close to you. He’d give anything to feel you again like before especially as you stand here practically exposed to him. Yet, as much as he wanted to give into his temptations... “I ‘ear you been askin’ ‘round for me,” his eyes scan between yours as you seem to gulp at this, obviously indicating it was true. “But now you loss for words ?” you bite the inside of your cheek, obviously he hit a nerve. Cocking a brow as he saw the strength in your eyes that always made him honestly want to give in. You spoke-“I was….there was something I wanted to tell you,” he tilted his head to the side narrowing his eyes a bit then nods “Well what is it ?” He takes a step back from you, his broad arms crossed as he gazes down at you.

He was leaning close to your ear, you were trembling before him, your hands out pressing onto his hoodie chest. His heart rate spiked from under your touch. Your lips said one thing but your body said something else. He watched you that day talk excitedly about seeing your boyfriend. Yet, he finds you a mess with tear stains avoiding everyone. He knew. He bloody fucking knew it. Your boyfriend was everything he hated and would even compare to as his own father. You who fought everyday, gave yourself willingly, everything as an amazing women and girlfriend. Only for that selfish prick to break it. It boiled him. To see you this way, you were their light. To see you so diminished was something he'd tear the world to bring that shine out in you. He leaned close to your ear “Say the word love. I’m here.” Your eyes looked up at him, oh those doe eyes. He would surrender to that sight in a heartbeat.

You were his weakness…

...but he also learned to see you were also his strength. You mouth slowly began to parts your eyes seemed to show a since of strength ‘Fuck…even when broken she stands strong. This women…’ he didn’t waste a minute crashing his lips onto your trembling lips. They were so plump and soft. You tasted salty from your tears, which he sucked away but the lingering taste of cherry from your lips made him want to devour you more. His hand sneaked down still holding under your chin, while the other unlatched from above the doorframe to rest on your hip. Pulling you closer to him, he could feel your hand slowly slide up his bicep to his neck. The sensation feeling of your soft fingers fleeting over it made him more riled. He immediately let go of his hold on your chin and opened the door to your bunker. He guides you in his hand pushing you in at your hips as he almost guides you to your bed in the corner. You stop just in front of the bed, his hands cupping your cheeks and neck kissing you more fiercely. You’re the one to make the first move, during the intense heat, you begin tugging at his belt loop. He can feel it. Yet-

Being practically naked gripping your towel around your dripping body was definitely not how you imagined telling him about being pregnant, however, maybe you can ask something else- “What happened a month ago... do you regret it ?” perhaps getting some kind of answer will bring out the courage to tell him. You watch for any kind of shift in his eyes yet you barely see much. However his eyes does narrow in on you, you wonder if he sees you’re dodging what’s the real reason you’ve been asking around of his absence. Just when your mind was planning to handle whatever response he gives, everything hit you like a bullet into a vest-

Wrong, because less then two days later he was making his way to the Captains office, knocking on it and telling him of his arrival. With the Captain deeply grunting to come in. What he wasn’t expecting was to see the Captain, stressed ? The man looked exhausted like he was fighting a battle of some sort. He looked as if he was atlas holding the world over his shoulder, every muscle tensed and jaw clenched using every ounce of power to keep going. Then when the Captains eyes met his, and the words came out, Ghost world came shattering. “Y/n, has quit the taskforce…” his eyes went wide, he was a man to hide any emotions but this…he wasn’t expecting you to up and leave. Did you even say bye to everyone? Were you crying your eyes out when you decided it ? But the one question that bothered in the back of his mind was; Was it because of HIM ?

He grunts a bit “Was a one time thing.” His eyes unwavering and stoic as if this is such a silly subject to be bringing up as he decided it was best to burn this bridge before his feelings got worse for you. He could not allow this to become more. He promised- now swore he’ll never get attached and he stupidly did. It was obvious for Soap to see, and if that was the case, how many others would notice too ? “It meant nothing Sargent. We both needed an escape. If this is what you wanted to waste my time for than we are done.” ‘Fuckin’ ‘ell, that should do it…’ he thought to himself, yet what he didn’t expect was to see the tears daring to form in your eyes he simply just stood there, your little fists were gripping the towel so tight your knuckles were white and your jaw was clenched. Yet, he didn’t stop there. He should have. “You’re a burden to this team…we don’t need dead weight. If you can’t get better than your no use to this team.” He said it…damages done.

The words hurt him just as much as it seemed to have hurt you. But instead of lashing out, which honestly he would have preferred you do then maybe he would’ve taken back his words. You… just stood there silent. It was worse than a ticking bomb going off. Your eyes were blazing with anger and he can see your tears wanting to crash down yet you suck in a deep breath, he honestly was expecting the worse, and you just went to grab your stuff. You began changing you didn’t even care if he would be watching or not, of course he wouldn’t dare instead was looking at the sinks only daring to listen to you as you shuffle. In matter of minutes you were dressed, holding your bag about to leave, you hand on the handle yet you stop. Looking at him ,‘Fuck…now I’ve done it. Price gonna rem me for it now’ he thought but instead you look at him with that same strength in your eyes “Good night Lieutenant.” It came out sharp he could hear it the slight venom in it but he didn’t so much aa react. He stupidly just stood there side glancing you before you finally took your leave. He then gazes back at the mirror, seeing his reflection he hated what he was seeing in himself but it had to be done. Maybe when you’ve cooled your head he’ll approach you differently. Perhaps these words would encourage you to do better. Perhaps now he won’t distracted by your alluring presence. Right-?

…

[allastoredeer]

Do we think Mimzy knew Alastor was a serial killer when they were both alive? I know she called him a heartless son of a bitch but she also said he's a total sweetie underneath all that, two very different statements, like could it be that she knew Al as a sweetheart when he was alive and then learned about the darker side of him and why he's there when they reunited in hell?

I headcanon that Mimzy did know Alastor was a serial killer when they were alive, and that not only did she know, she even helped him on several occasions.

I also headcanon that her reliance on Alastor taking care of all her problems started when they were alive too. I imagine them as being really close friends who helped each other a lot at first, especially in hard times, but after Alastor offered to "get rid" of someone who was making her life hell, she started using him as a way to get rid of anyone who had a problem with her or inconvenienced her.

She got into more and more trouble because Alastor always got her out of it--be it through murder of a lot of smooth talking--which is where the habit first developed. Since they're now in Hell, well, Alastor doesn't have to rely to use smooth-talking anymore, he can just outright kill them. Problem solved. So much easier.

In the show, Mimzy told Alastor that he "loved taking care of her," and I actually believe it. I think Alastor does like taking care of the people he cares about, and he will go to any extent to make sure they're taken care of, which is why he never told her no or let her reap the consequences of her own actions.

Their friendship started out sweet and sincere, but overtime it became toxic. Like Husk said, Mimzy only shows up when she's in trouble, meaning she doesn't ever visit Alastor unless she needs something from him (which is so interesting, because in the same episode Charlie mentioned that Lucifer only called her if he wanted something or needed her to do something--which is exactly like Alastor's relationship with Mimzy. These two relationships are parallels of each other. And, by the end of the episode, both of these relationships had changed for the better - with Alastor setting a boundary and telling Mimzy to leave because she brought trouble to a place he doesn't want trouble, and with Charlie reconnecting with her dad and Lucifer supporting her dream and getting her the meeting with Heaven).

Back to the original subject, Mimzy's both dependent on Alastor and his power and she exploits it for her own gain. What's worse is that Alastor knows this. He knows she only ever visits when she needs him to clean up her mess, but he does it without question or hesitation anyway.

Another headcanon: even though Alastor knows she's using him to clean up her messes, he still happily does it because he doesn't see it as a bad thing. She's his oldest friend and she's in trouble (even if she was the cause of it). He's an Overlord, he has all of this power, why wouldn't he use it to get rid of a few demons? He can do it so easily, it's hardly even a chore. It doesn't matter how much trouble Mimzy gets into, because dealing with the problem is as easy as a snap of his fingers. Of course, she would come to him, she knows he can handle it. She knows he has to power to intimidate any gang lord, tear apart any loan shark, or annihilate any demon who's giving her too much of a hard time to handle on her own.

They both continue this cycle of toxicity because neither of them see's it as toxic. It's what they've been doing since they were alive. It's natural for them. It's normal. It's become such an integrated part of their relationship, that it doesn't even register as bad.

I hope we see more of Mimzy in the future and learn more about Alastor's backstory. I have so many thoughts.

[obxsummer]

Pieces of You // JJ Maybank

summary: you had grown tired of JJ's reckless nature and were suffering the silent treatment post-argument. so it's only fitting the next time he's careless it's to save you.

request: Heyyy, I love your work with all my heart!! I was wondering if you could write a JJ x reader fic, where in S3 at the end of episode 8 Topper burns the chateau down, but JJ has to save them because they didn’t notice the fire or anything? That would be so nice:)

warnings: minor injuries, angst bc it's me, crappy ending bc I didn't know what else to write ok

navigation

--

Things had been a little too crazy for you and the Pogues. John B had supposedly managed to get arrested after knocking the shit out of Topper. Sarah did cheat on him after all, so his reaction was warranted in your mind. Kie had been busy dealing with the backlash of her parents while Pope and Cleo seemed to be the only duo without any major complications. Granted, Cleo did have to talk the boy out of killing Rafe for melting the cross but hey, minor details.

You and JJ however, were in the middle of the biggest argument you’d seen. At this point, you don’t even remember how it all happened minus the fact that the two of you stopped speaking shortly after his whole bike incident. JJ had the habit of being a little too careless for someone who had people that needed him and loved him. You were growing really tired of his reckless behavior. You loved JJ more than anything, but sometimes you wished he saw that his actions affected more than just him. You needed to know that he would be okay if you weren’t around to approve of his actions and make sure he didn’t go too far. 

JJ had been avoiding you since the moment you caught his gaze on the busted concrete. He knew he was fucked, and royally too. You’d warned him about being more careful and here he was doing powerslides from overpasses. 

He couldn’t get the words to work right to explain to you why he acted the way he did. It wasn’t just for the adrenaline rush, or because of his upbringing. JJ genuinely would do anything for you and the Pogues. He just happened to jump to the craziest way of getting there instead of taking the time to think it through.

“Will you just talk to me please?” His voice was pleading as he watched you move around your bedroom in a rushed fashion. You’d been quiet since Topper had dropped everyone off and your boyfriend was losing it with the silence. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. Do you want to talk to me now? Where was this initiative when you practically dumped me off your bike into the truck bed? Or, better yet, where was this when you just stared at me blankly like I wasn’t sobbing over the fact that I thought you were dead?” You were getting angry quickly and JJ didn’t like it. 

He hesitated in his response, enough that you let out a huff of air in annoyance before turning away from him again. Recently, JJ panicked easily. It all started once he lost John B but got better for a while, especially when he had you. Now that everything was colliding, JJ was panicking. 

“I just didn’t know how else to get the cops away from-”

“You didn’t have to do something that involved you almost dying, JJ!” You shouted this time as the random pieces of clothing dropped from your hands. “I know you care. You care a lot for everyone but JJ… I care about you. I care so much that you break my heart when you do things like this because I can’t lose you! And neither can our friends! I know you don’t think far enough ahead for your personal consequences but please… please think about how everyone else would react if we lost you.”

JJ walked out on you sometime after that. You’d clearly upset him and your friends definitely felt the awkwardness but if you were honest, there was so much tension between everyone right now anyway. Your small family was starting to waver but you knew everything would work out. 

Sarah had called you all over to the Chateau, promising good news. You had yet to see her as you slowly approached the group, Kie, Cleo, Pope, and JJ already in attendance. There wasn’t much conversation to begin with, but it all fell silent the moment you stepped into view. Kie gave you a reassuring smile that didn’t do much to ease your nerves.

The blonde girl that had asked for your presence came walking down the steps of the Chateau not long after, sparing the awkward silence. “Hey, um, thanks for waiting. Look who decided to come home.”

John B stepped out of the doors of his childhood home, looking relatively fine for the hell he’d been through. You were shocked that he had managed to get out of jail so quickly, especially with Topper’s family status being put into play.

“Welcome back,” Cleo greeted with a smirk on her face. 

“Whoa! Good to see you, man.”

You let out a small laugh at John B’s surprise presence. “Welcome home, JB.” 

“You gotta be kidding me,” JJ scoffed from his spot across from you on the large tree branch. John B tucked his hands in his pockets and walked towards all of you solemnly. He looked really upset if you were being honest and it made you wonder what had really happened. 

“I have something I want to share with you guys,” Sarah said as she pulled the attention back to her. “I can get us down to Orinoco.”

“Are you serious?”

“What?”

“Okay, how’s that gonna happen?”

“My dad’s gonna let us use the plane-”

“Ward?”

“Your dad?”

You rolled your eyes at the pop-up comments that seemed never-ending. “Can y’all let the girl speak? Geez.”

Sarah’s gaze met yours as she offered up a small thankful smile. “We lay low tonight, then wheels up first thing in the morning.”

“Okay, that’s a lot to process. Your dad actually helping us,” Pope recounted in shock. “So we trusting Ward now?”

“Trust Sarah,” Kie offered with a solidifying nod at her own words. 

Pope and Cleo seemed excited about the plan as Sarah spoke up again. “But wait, I also just have one more thing to say. Um… since we’ve gotten back from the island, I’ve done some things I regret. A lot.”

Kie cleared her throat in the awkward silence that followed.

“Yeah, uh…” To your surprise, John B broke the quiet. “I feel…I feel like we’ve all done a thing or two that we regret.” His eyes glanced at the blonde next to him before he looked towards the ground again.

Sarah continued, “And I don’t…Poguelandia, guys. It’s all I’ve been able to think about. We were all together on that island and it was a good thing and I don’t want to ruin a good thing. And I-I just wanna know, are we still all in? Are we still all together? Because I am.”

Kie was the first to agree, wrapping Sarah in a hug before Cleo piled in on top of them.

“I still can’t believe you got the plane!” Pope smiled as he brought the Cameron girl in for a hug. “That’s actually insane.”

You took a deep breath as you watched them, well aware of JJ’s eyes on you. He’d been staring for a while now, always observant when it came to you. You took a few steps forward to embrace Sarah before retreating back to your own space next to Kie.

“Let’s go get Big John, alright? What do you say there, shit bird?” JJ tugged Pope under his arm as he regarded your friend. You found yourself pulled into the group hug next to Kie and Sarah, all of you waiting for John B to complete the circle.

“I think this deserves a woogity.”

You watched from the corner of your eye as John B stayed still in his spot. You shook your head slightly and made eye contact with him while smiling. “How long are you gonna pretend you’re not coming over here?”

Your best friend’s blank exterior broke at the question, glad to see a smidge of positive emotion from you over the past few days. He caved and made his way toward your group, quickly throwing his arms over your shoulders.

“Come over here, funny man. We don’t bite.” The seven of you hugged each other tightly, finally all back in the same place for once in what felt like forever. 

“Oh, we’re really doing this, aren’t we?”

Your small family was slowly rebuilding as everyone made their way into the Chateau for the night. John B and Sarah were quick to excuse themselves to his room, leaving the rest of you to entertain yourselves. 

“Jay,” You whispered his name quietly as he brushed past you to the kitchen in search of a beer. You blinked sudden tears from your eyes and looked up to the ceiling in an attempt to not cry. 

Letting out a deep breath, you quickly made your way to the guest bedroom where you and JJ had spent most of your time. You stared at the colossal mess of your things scattered amongst his along the furniture and floor. Your chest ached at the sight, wishing the two of you weren’t on such poor terms at the moment so you could actually enjoy the peace before setting off on another treasure hunt. 

Busying yourself with a shower in the attached bath, you figured some quiet time would help you clear your head and hopefully come up with a game plan of what to say to your boyfriend. You didn’t mean to make him feel like shit for expressing his love the way he did, but you were scared for him. 

The hot water of John B’s shower was soothing as you took the quiet time for yourself. Eventually, you had to leave the comforting steam when it began to run cold. Completely disheveled and stressed, you pulled on some comfy clothes and attempted to dry your wet hair before you had to face the music again. 

You let out a sigh and reached for the metal doorknob to walk back into the spare bedroom only for a searing pain to stretch across your hand. Jumping back with a yelp, a rush of panic overwhelmed you once you realized how hot it was in the small bathroom. 

“JJ!” You yelled instinctively as you searched for the hand towel to possibly grab the handle with. The fabric held the heat off long enough for you to open the door. The sight of bright flickering flames filled the room you and JJ had claimed for yourselves, burning pieces of each other into ashes. You stumbled back in shock before the adrenaline kicked in and you ran into the smoky room in hopes of salvaging some of the items.

“Y/N!” The boy in question came flying through the bedroom door a second later. He could barely see you through the thick smoke but managed to catch a quick movement of your figure across the room. “Y/N, we have to go!”

Your heart was pounding in your ears too loud for you to register his voice. The few items you’d grabbed in a rush were thrown in a canvas tote bag Kie had given you before you spun straight into JJ’s chest. 

“We gotta go, baby, come on.” JJ tugged his your t-shirt up over your mouth and nose to help filter the smoke before doing the same and leading you out of the room. Most of the house was covered in the bright orange light of the fire as you observed it in shock. You could barely focus as JJ pushed your hips towards the window of Big John’s office that was left open from their prior escape. He was quick to climb out and turned back to catch you. Glass shattered from another window causing the two of you to duck down and JJ to grab your wrist to tug you away from the structure. 

JJ’s grip on your wrist eased up as he brought you towards the dock where everyone had gathered in their escape. Your boyfriend’s touch was gentle as he helped you sit on the ground to take a deep breath and cough out the smoke in your lungs. “It’s okay, ‘m right here, baby.”

Everyone was visibly relieved when they saw you and JJ come running from the smoldering flames on the side of the house. It all happened so fast that they felt guilty for completely forgetting you were in the shower. JJ had taken one small look and took off before anyone had a chance to stop him. 

Your hands were shaky with the anxiety and fear that was coursing through your body. In the few moments before you found JJ, you were thinking the worst. You thought you were going to lose the person who mattered most to you in the midst of an argument and that was terrifying. You’d never forgive yourself if you lost JJ ever, but to be on rough terms was a nightmare you’d never recover from. 

“Hey, hey. Look at me. Everyone’s fine, I’m right here.” JJ’s blond hair was suddenly visible in your view as he forced you to look up at him and uncurl from the ball you’d shifted into. “What did you grab?”

You released your suffocating grip on the bag you’d practically filled. In the midst of your panic, you didn’t realize your friends had moved away to give you and JJ some space. You settled back against the posts of the wooden dock to watch as he went through the items you grabbed.

JJ’s favorite hoodie, a handful of Polaroids Kiara had taken of your group, his rings, the necklace he’d saved up to buy you for your anniversary. JJ was careful with the items as he shifted through them, his eyes suddenly damp with tears. 

“Y/N, sweetheart, all of this is replaceable. You aren’t,” He consoled as he finally made eye contact with you. Both of you were crying now, emotions running high from the events that just took place.

You took a shaky breath as you fought back the sob threatening to break through. “I...I felt like that room was us. All of our memories, and it was just crumbling and you weren’t there. JJ, I can’t lose you.”

“I know, I know.” JJ didn’t hesitate to pull you against his chest as you cried against him. He’d felt the panic himself a few moments before when he realized you were still showering and blissfully unaware of the damage awaiting outside. JJ refused to let you be in pain because of him and his actions from here on out. It wasn’t fair to any of your friends but especially you. “Not doing anything majorly stupid from here on out. Maybe just a little here and there, but-”

You laughed slightly and pulled your head from his shirt to look over his shoulder where the Chateau was crumbling from the flames. Heart heavy, you leaned your cheek against JJ’s shoulder and let him hold you, hoping this was the lowest your group could go and things could only look up from here.

--

navigation

[spiegelgestalt]

Some stray observations and speculations before the new episodes come out

Vi has yet to win a major victory in the undercity. Also since the time skip someone contemplated/tried to kill her in every battle. She truly doesnt fit into Zaun anymore

Sevika on the other has gotten two victories in the last three episodes. Working together with jinx truly benefits her (and in retrospect: vi lost the bar battle even though she beat sevika because jinx intervened)

Caitlyn has currently a really important story arc and I hope they stick the ending. Caitlyn runs into another savior dilemma: you go into a situation full of good intentions and well meant plans and the fuckers screw you over, hurt you and hurt the people around you. This is an experience a lot of well meaning helpers have. And I still think that while her reaction is understandable it's not correct. I come back to Cassandra's sentence: the people in the undercity deserve to breathe. Because it's such bullshit. It's your industries that caused that, you produced that smog - you should clean it up - it's common sense - but Cassandra frames it as a favor and now that the people on the undercity aren't sufficiently grateful that favor is revoked

Ambessa strokes the cheek of a child who got hurt by the smog. That child looks like a young Viktor. And once again I'm struck by the fact that it piltover expected Zaun to just accept this and how much piltover freaks out over attacks that did just a fraction of the damage piltover did to zaun

Caitlyn got a letter from Ambessa during a grieving process. I really hope that they don't just blame the whole thing on Ambessa/foreign influence and call it a day (currently they are doing pretty well)

If you take the songs into consideration and interpret them as expressions of the two cities you notice that piltover is still not understanding. They think they can get this problem back under control with violence while Zaun is saying: yeah come and kill me I don't even care anymore. But I will hurt you as much as I can in the process

Arcane is in part about generational violence and it's very telling that it's especially the young characters who are all for the violence happening (cute enforcer girl and cute street urchin)

I have to say it somewhere: Caitlyn isn't ready for jinx, piltover isn't ready for jinx I'm not even sure if Ambessa is ready for jinx.

I kinda want to write a meta about Ekko/Viktor as the two people who try to help the undercity within the system and how they are both screwed over. Viktors findings are taken for piltover and used against Zaun and ekko is a) in danger to suffer the same fate (I have thoughts about heimerdinger you all) b) in danger to lose all he has built because of something piltover did

I think I'm one of the few people who didn't think that indepence for Zaun was the solution to everything. I think it was to little to late. also jinx is all about making piltover eat the consequences of their actions. Shes quite literally zauns curse. But I also think that ist sevika who truly wants war. (note the raining metaphor some people noticed. Everytime a person from piltover got rained on it was because of something jinx/powder did)

Heimerdinger is gearing up to repeat his own cycle by plucking another street urchin from the undercity. After Viktor he got Jayce and now he wants Ekko. I can't help but notice that neither Jayce nor Victor benefited from his teachings

One day I will write about arcane relationship to Disney and the little mermaid and the og little mermaid but in short: Viktor is the little mermaid who loses his voice, doesn't get the prince and dies in the end, silco is very heavily Ursula coded (just look at his introduction!! )

If anyone wants me to go deeper into any of this observations feel free to ask me. I'd be happy to.

[petervintonjr]

"I was working for Mr. T. L. Kearny on the morning of the day of the election, and did not think of voting until he came out to the stable where I was attending to the horses and advised me to go to the polls and exercise a citizen's privilege."

Good god, people. I sure misjudged a hell of a lot of you; it is obvious more studying is called for. Way more. As in, "lessons-that-may-soon-be-illegal" way more.

Since we're already fresh on the subject of elections, let's get right into it with a look at the life of Thomas Mundy Peterson. Born enslaved in 1826 New Jersey, Peterson and his family were later manumitted upon their owner's passing, and moved to Perth Amboy. Peterson married and worked as a custodian and general handyman at Perth Amboy's very first public school. Active in local politics, at the age of 46 Peterson had been a participant in a local ballot initiative to revise the town's existing charter; in this instance, whether or not to abandon their 1798 charter entirely and reincorporate as a township. (Spoiler alert: they did neither and became a city in 1844.)

On March 30, 1871, less than two months after the ratification of the Fifteenth Amendment, Peterson voted in favor of retaining the town's existing charter --thereby making him the very first Black American to cast a ballot in any kind of post-Civil War election.

But for one unsurprising anecdote about a white voter at the polling place crumpling up their own ballot in disgust at the sight, Peterson's civic action went largely unremarked-upon (in fact Peterson even went on to be elected to the local city council). It was as true then, as it is now, that local elections are where the most immediate consequences happen. But gradually over time, the symbolism and the larger historical impact of Peterson's quiet moment took on much greater national significance. In 1884 the community raised the equivalent of $1800.00 to present Peterson with a medal featuring Abraham Lincoln's profile in recognition of his milestone --this medal is now part of the collection of Xavier University. In 1989 the public school at which Peterson once worked (P.S. No. 1), was renamed after him.

====

And further to the above subject: Fascism is a hell of a drug, people. One really doesn't see it for what it is when it finally arrives --no concept of just what it is that you've invited into your lives, just because eggs are inconveniently pricey or because you'd rather your kids not be exposed to history lessons like this one. Fascism never merely visits; it takes up permanent residence. Our Black brothers and sisters (especially the sisters) understood that deep in their bones prior to the Civil War, during Reconstruction, during Jim Crow, and during the Civil Rights movement. The rest of us need to internalize that, too. The past 400 years aren't "just" Black history, as if it all only belonged to a specific segment of the population. It is our history. All of us; inextricably connected to it. If we don't study it and learn about it; if we pivot to the deliberate ignorance that fascism so gleefully celebrates, then we all lose.

Racism (and all its cousins: anti-Semitism, xenophobia, homophobia, etc.) has been emboldened, running unchecked --to say nothing of truly terrifying old-school misogyny. (And yeah, go look up the word misogynoir if you haven't already). Of more immediate concern we've got... what, 70 days or so? 70 days to recalibrate, retool, get at least some guardrails up. In that time interval, please reach out to one another --check on your communities and keep a close eye on local issues, not unlike Thomas Mundy Peterson. Offer what help you can spare. Lotta desperation and panic floating about; folks are afraid of losing a lot of things in 2025 and beyond --you know, minor trifles like health care, insurance, income, savings, civil rights, autonomy. They're going to be looking for a connection. If studying these Black biographies these past 4+ years has taught me one thing, it is that authoritarianism flourishes when people isolate --whether forced upon them or on one's own. The moment folks break that pattern and start connecting with one another, the bullies proveably take a cautious step back. (Notice I didn't naïvely use the word retreat.) So look out for one another and keep each other afloat; the bullies hate that.

In the meantime for my part I'm going to keep doing the two things I know I am legitimately good at: teaching and drawing. Therefore I'll keep providing this resource until I am forcibly stopped from doing so.

If you're new to this series, start here.

[strniohoeee]

Racketeer Pt.4

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N and Chris are having a party for Nick and Matt, but what happens when two weird people test them…..

Warnings⚠️: Chris with a pewpew….uhhhh that’s about it. Sadly I think this is my last ‘Racketeer’ imagine….such a bitter sweet ending because I love this. I meannnn unless I randomly come up with a good idea but Idk🥹

Song for the imagine: Suburban, pt. 2- 22Gz

@flowerxbunnie @lustfulslxt

Back from the Ms and the case closed

Blood on my kicks, that's from stomping his face off

Chop off a limb with a chainsaw

Tonight Chris and I were getting ready for a party, no shocker there, but it was for Matt and Nick. He wanted to throw a party for them because he hadn’t seen them in a while since they live in LA most of the time now.

Chris had rented out a club for them, inviting our friends and the friends the three of them shared. I was actually super excited for this party because I missed Nick and Matt. They were a breath of fresh air from Chris' lifestyle, and I needed it.

I was also excited because this meant that we didn’t have to worry about any weird guys starting problems. I was so excited to just party and hang out with them without having to worry.

Chris was dressed in all black with his Timbs and a black fitted hat….this is all this motherfucker wore. He looked good as hell though, so I’ll shut up.

I decided on wearing an all black outfit too. I wore black wide leg baggy boyfriend jeans with a fitted black crop top, and my white air forces. I didn’t really care to dress up since it was a private club party with friends and his brothers.

I walked out to the living room to see Chris tucking his pistol into his waistband, I rolled my eyes at this

“Really….” i said looking at him

“Babe I have to, how many times have we gone out now, and trouble always finds us?” He said

“Whatever” I said giving up

I was just so fucking tired of this back and forth my life felt exhausting at this point. Constantly living in fear and worried Chris is going to actually hurt someone and be in prison

“I just get scared that you’ll get in trouble, and taken away from me” I said walking over to him

“I know baby, I don’t like this either, but it’s the consequences of my actions” he said pulling me in for a hug

“Chris I don’t know how much longer I can keep running in this circle” I said sighing

“Me neither okay, and I promise you I will get out of this” he said kissing me

“You always say that, but it never happens” I said

“I know I haven’t been true to my word, but I promise okay. I will get you out of this” he said looking at me

“I want to be in a different state in a house” I said smiling at him

“Whatever you want, I’ll get you a nice car a big dog and gifts” he said smiling at me

“I like that idea” I said kissing him

We had headed out, and headed downtown to the club where Chris was having the party. We got there and finished helping set up, dimming the lights and getting the music started

Chris hired bottle girls for this party, and I didn’t mind, but one girl kept looking at Chris like she could devour him. I was a little upset, but I kept my eye on her

About an hour later everybody showed up with Nick and Matt being the last ones in…not a shocked they were always late

“NICKKKKK, MATTTTT” I yelled running over to them and giving them big hugs

“I’ve missed you guys so much” I said to them pulling away

“We’ve missed you too it’s been too long” Nick said

“It has! Follow me Chris is at our table” I said to them over the loud music

They followed me over to Chris and I’s designated area. Couches with a table

“Yoooo” Chris said getting up and hugging his brothers

“I fucking missed ya” he said

“We missed you too kid” Matt said

“Come take a seat” Chris said waving them over

They took a seat, and slowly they started chatting with us and their hometown friends. We were having a good time especially me

We were a few drinks in dancing here and there, eating, and just vibing. The four of us catching up since it’s been months since we’ve seen each other

I was sitting next to Chris bobbing to the music as him and his brothers were chatting when all of a sudden that weird bottle girl came over

“More drinks?” She asked looking at Chris

“I’m good, how about you babe?” He said looking over at me

“Yeah I’ll have a Malibu Coke” I said looking at her

“Sure” she said emotionless and walked away

“She’s weird as fuck” I said

“How come?” Chris asked

“She’s looking at you like she wants you” I said

“Ouuuu jealous” he said laughing

“Mmm not jealous just annoyed” I said

She came back with my drink placing it in front of me

“Thank you” I said smiling at her, and she had no reaction

“Are you sure I can’t get you anything” she said touching his arm

“He’s good” I said to her

“Oh I was talking to him” she said looking at me

“Yeah and I’m talking to you, he’s good” I said pushing her hand off of him

“Who are you?” She said looking at me

“His girlfriend” I said looking back at her

“Mmmm right” she said giving me a weird look

“I’d watch the way you speak to me, I’m paying your bills” I said smiling at her

“Whatever” she said scoffing and walking away

“Ouuu I thought a drink was going to get thrown” Nick said looking at me

“Like I’m clearly sitting with him, and I came here with him…back off” I said taking a sip of my drink

“UGH” I said looking at my cup

“This bitch” I said

“What happened” Matt asked

“She gave me straight up Malibu” I said rolling my eyes

“I’ll fix it” Chris said reaching his hand up to take my cup

“No baby I got this” I said standing up

“Play nice” he said looking at me

“Always” I said before walking away

I went up to the bar looking for the girl, and when I spotted her she was whispering to a security guard looking over at Chris….weird. I left my cup and walked back over to our area

“Somethings not right” I said sitting down

“What’s up?” Chris said

“She’s talking to that security while looking over here. I don’t trust her” I said

“She could be warning them about you” Matt said laughing

“Nah…that security is new” I said

“Really?” Chris said looking over

“I’ve never seen him before” I said looking over at him

“Alright we stay together the whole night, and if something happens I got ya” Chris said referring to his gun

After a few more hours everyone started clearing out, and we stood in our area. They turned the lights back on and shut the music off so the crew could clean

The bottle girl came walking over to our area

“Can I clean this for you guys?” She asked sweetly

I just looked at her and Chris answered her

She was putting the drinks on a tray, and when she grabbed my old drink she “accidentally” knocked it all over me

“What the fuck bitch” I said standing up

“Oh my bad it was an accident” she said

“No it wasn’t. I don’t know what the fuck your issue is with me, but he’s my man. Back the fuck off” I said sizing her up

She looked at me and then dropped the tray all the drinks splashing all over us

I picked up two drinks and threw them in her face

“How’s that for an accident bitch” I said throwing the empty cups at her too

Chris immediately got up trying to separate us

“Alright let’s calm down” he said putting his hands out to separate us

“Now clean this up bitch” I said to her

Suddenly that security guard come over to us

“What’s going on” he said

“This girl is acting like a child” I said trying to dry myself off

He pulled the girl behind him, and suddenly pulled a gun out facing it at Chris

“We told you not to fuck with Drew’s crew because we’d always have a target on you” he said

“Yo put the gun down” Nick said standing up

“I’ll put a bullet in all yalls head” he said waving the gun around

“What do you want” Chris asked nonchalantly

“You and me only outside” he said

“Alright” Chris said

“Chris no” I said pulling him

He turned looking at me, and then with his eyes only looking down towards his waistband widening his eyes to tell me to take the gun

“It’s alright baby we’re just going to talk” he said widening his eyes again

I discreetly took the gun from his waistband and he immediately turned around punching the guy in the face causing him to fall back

“Grab her” I said to Matt

He grabbed the girl holding her

Chris and the guy started scuffling, knocking the drinks around as they landed on the table. The guy overpowered Chris and was now on top of him

“Get off of him” I said cocking the gun

“Shut up bitch” he said

“I’ll fucking paint the table with your brains” I said back

He kept scuffling with Chris and the girl was trying to run, so Nick also grabbed her

“And you’ll be next” I said pointing the gun at the girl

She spat in my direction

I took the butt of the gun and smashed it against the guys head he immediately fell over in a dazed state

“Keep telling Drew to send his people because I got mine and I’ll fucking kill all of you” Chris said to the guy

“You’re gonna get got soon” he said in a fuzzy state

“Ya fucking wish” Chris said stomping on the guys shoulder with his Timbs

“And for your bitch ass” Chris said pointing over at the girl

“What are you gonna do hit me” she said laughing

I walked over to her and lifted my arm off cracking her in the jaw with the butt of the gun

“No he won’t, but I will” I said as she fell limp to the ground

“Come on” Chris said to us

We followed him, and he grabbed his regular security guard

“Clean this up, get them out and I’ll be talking with ya about who you bring to my events without telling me” he said to the guy

“Yes” he responded and nodded at Chris

We all walked back to Chris car having Matt drive as Chris was pretty banged up

“Chris we have to get you cleaned up you’re all fucked up” I said examining his face

“Thank you for having my back” he said looking at me

“I told you I always will, when I saw that guy overpowering you I just wanted to kill him” I said wiping some blood with a tissue

“Baby that’s how I feel everytime someone tries you, I don’t want this lifestyle and I didnt want to bring you into it, and I’m sorry for that. Back in high school I watched my best friends girl get killed the one night he didn’t have his gun on him, and that shit sticks with me. I will always have my gun on me because I could never live through something like that again especially if it’s you” he said looking at me

“I never knew that. I’m sorry baby” I said kissing him

“It’s not something I wanted to burden with you, but this is why I always stay strapped. They started coming after Nick and Matt, and that’s why they left. But I couldn’t send you away because I couldn’t protect you if I did” He said

“I’m thankful for you Chris, always” I said to him

“I’m done with this life, I want you and only you. I want us to be happy and living peacefully. Come to LA with me” he said

“Yes baby. I’ll come with you” I said kissing him

Matt had driven us home and they stood with us that night helping me clean up Chris. We started making our plans to fly back with Nick and Matt, and leave this life behind.

The End

So sad that this is probably the last Racketeer imagine I’ll write😭😭 but i hope you enjoyed love yallllll🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[ilikekidsshows]

Hey! I’ve been viewing your stuff now and I agree with most of your Miraculous takes. I do have a question for you.

How do you feel about Adriachat’s habit of giving up his ring? A lot of people point to this as a way to criticize/salt on Adrichat about him being unfaithful and reckless. I’d only agree on the front that him leaving his ring out in the open in “Kuro Neko” was absolutely stupid and he should get push back for that. But as for everything else, it’s not so much that the him giving up the ring happens, but it doesn’t have a lasting impact. It really lasts for an episode and it’s used for dramatic effects.

If anything Adrien does didn't have a zero impact on anything there might be something here to analyze. But the thing with Adrien's actions is that they haven't had much if any followup since the early seasons. Like, Copycat is such an outlier as an episode specifically because it revolves around Adrien messing up and having to fix his mistake. I thought the conflict was kinda basic at the time but the latter seasons have made me remember the episode fondly because Adrien got to mess up in a way that had real consequences that he had to deal with, while in the later seasons he isn't even allowed to have feelings on anything, let alone act in any meaningful way.

But, like, let's pretend for a while that Miraculous is a normal superhero cartoon, where Adrien giving up his ring could have consequences. No, I don't think him leaving the ring, even out in the open, is stupid. It would only be stupid if we could reasonably expect Hawk Moth or someone working with him specifically to find it. Any other citizen would be far more likely to join forces with / give it to Ladybug. Hawk Moth doesn't leave his lair often, and Syren didn't want to leave the advantage being underwater gave her. Adrien left or would have left the ring where Ladybug would obviously be a little bit later.

We also have to take into account how Adrien is treated by his teammate and their mentor. Neither of them really listens to him, and Fu refuses to see him or let him know where he lives. He also isn't allowed to know where Ladybug lives. There is no safe, undercover way for Adrien to deliver the ring to Ladybug or Fu unless he wants to break the one rule they have been very adamant he obeys: he must not reveal his secret identity. Like, the level Adrien follows this directive is so absolute that the only time he broke it was when Ladybug, who was his leader at the time, told him to in Ephemereal.

Adrien has no control over anything that happens in their hero team, and he's equipped with the power that is always the biggest burden in superhero media: destruction. Adrien gets no support in this, from anyone. All he gets are orders and stonewalling. Adrien giving up on his ring when he's been told in actions or words that he is 1) not trusted, 2) not appreciated and 3) not wanted around is not a selfish act. He thinks he's doing Ladybug and Fu a favor, because they rarely if ever give the impression that they trust, appreciate or want him. They just want someone to use the Black Cat ring, so he leaves them with what they value the most when he finally self destructs from the pressure. It's not like he can go to them with his mental breakdown.

Giving up the ring is the only form of protest Adrien has in a situation where he has no power. I will not criticize him for using it when it's the only thing that makes Ladybug and Fu listen to him. Especially since it's not the ultimatum salters make it out to be, it's not "do what I say or the world perishes", it's merely "you can hire someone else from your numerous allies to fill my role, I'm done". If your boss mistreats you, everyone will tell you to quit, no matter how essential your job is.

[tanadrin]

OK, so this post is going to probably look like I’m critcizing @jadagul quite directly, and I am, but only because he is a proximate example of something I find worth commenting on generally. This does not change the fact that I generally like and respect him, and find him pleasant to interact with.

There is a style of political thinking which seems to have an intuition that the law should work like mathematical formalism or computer programming, with a very close and literal relationship between any act of government (an executive action or an act of a legislature) and the constitutional or statutory text which enables that action. That even if the law is a messy and organic human institution, it shouldn’t be, and in ideal circumstances the whole system would be fairly mechanistic, with little room for human discretion. This line of thinking seems to work itself out in ideas like, “OK, discrimination is bad; but so is the government interfering in private actions; so anti-discrimination legislation is bad, too, in a different way.” Or “democracy is important, but part of democracy is free expression; and how you spend your money is a kind of expression, so limits on how you spend your money when it comes to politics is antithetical to democracy.” Or, in the anarcho-capitalist form I most strongly associate this line of thinking with, “OK, people seem to want a lot of freedom, low taxes, and the government not to tell them what to do; so we can (and should) construct a society where the government does very little--ideally nothing at all--and everything that can be is transferred to the private sphere, to be a matter of contract law and civil litigation. Since government power is very little or nonexistent, and all oppression comes from the government, everyone will be very free.”

This isn’t just wrong in the sense that the law is actually an irretrievably messy and organic institution because all human institutions are irretrievably messy and organic and we’re stuck with them; this is wrong because it is good that human institutions are messy and organic, and it would be bad if they were all purely mechanistic. I know this probably seems like a self-evidently silly thing to say if your intuition is toward the mechanistic and formalistic (and believe me, I share that aesthetic preference a lot of the time!) but it really is true. It is simply not possible for a legal system to reduce all potential coordination problems, political disputes, and breaches of social order to a set of general principles, and trying to would result in either monstrously cruel outcomes, like the ancient law codes that just killed everybody who broke them, or total structural collapse, like that town that got taken over by libertarians and then bears (because the libertarians didn’t understand the specific governance needs of the town, like how regular trash collection kept the bears away).

In particular, trying for this kind of metaphysical purity in your legal system often seems to cause people’s aesthetic preferences to short-circuit their moral ones; and because no legal system actually is metaphysically pure in this way, ultimately neither is satisfied. The thinking seems to go, we want a free and equal society without oppression; but government action is frequently oppressive, especially when it interferes with private business, so we don’t want to have anti-discrimination legislation. So what they get is a society without anti-discrimination legislation, that is also markedly unequal, because it turns out that bigotry just doesn’t go away by people saying “bigotry is bad, people shouldn’t do that.” Or, people want democracy; but they also want people to be able to spend their money how they want (that’s key to the liberal part of liberal democracy), so they don’t want to impose limits on spending around political campaigns. As a consequence, wealth inequalities distort politics by making the only viable candidates the ones who appeal to wealthy donors, putting a whole class of policies that poll really well outside the political pale--i.e., a profoundly undemocratic system where very popular legislation stands no chance of getting passed. Or, people want property rights and healthy markets; commensurate with that, they resist any effort to impose limits on those property rights or redistribute wealth. They get, as a result (and often hand-in-hand with the distortions of democracy that stem from the previous example), a system with a lot of rent-seeking and corruption where fair competition is almost impossible and there are a lot of monopolies that are bad for both businesses and consumers, far from the libertarian utopia of their laissez-faire dreams.

This isn’t meant to be a Chestertonian set of counterintuitive gotchas, where I try to argue that the real democracy was monarchy all along or something, just an observation that you have to look at, and argue from, actual outcomes, and not just what is conceptually appealing, even if you want to further quite lofty and abstract political ideals. Much the same way that abolishing your military does not keep you out of conflicts, if it results in you suddenly getting invaded by your neighbor, or abolishing anti-discrimination law would not result in a freer society, if you have a bunch of racists itching to discriminate against the minorities they don’t like.

I remember a post of Scott Alexander’s once expressing confusion at the idea banks would just decide not lend to black people in the midcentury US, because surely they would stand to make more money if they had more customers, and if they had more customers the banks run by non-racists would outcompete the banks run by racists, and I remember thinking, like, come on dude. There is a whole complex social ecology surrounding race and racial discrimination, which is going to drown out any possible weak effect that you are pointing to here. And he simply could not see it because it was not part of the world he knew, and he lacked the imagination to understand it.

Everything the law touches is like this. Law is not actually, nor can it be, a separate domain from politics, or economics, or private business, or religion, or any other aspect of human life. It is a loose category of thing we have drawn a fuzzy border around, like so much else. And because of the complexity inherent in the problems it presents, trying to decide which policies are best without reference to actual outcomes at best makes you prone to a kind of head-in-the-clouds idealism. But much more often, I think it means people support things actually corrosive to the principles they claim to espouse.

[boonsmoon]

Hey I wanted to ask if you could write character x reader with Crimson from Ragna Crimson? I don't have any request regarding the setting or anything else in that matter. You have a free hand on that part :3 And sorry if I sound stiff but english isn't my first language

i love you /platonic Crimson is my favorite character like <3 thanking Miku that Ragna Crimson simps exist on this site LMAO spoilers/references to chapter 50+

Request Chungus Masterlist Ragna Crimson Masterlist Series ML Crimson x f!reader Genres: Oneshot|Fluff|Romantic

Traitors Love

You two were close. Not close as in being linked through Crimson's powers. It was more of a mutual liking you took towards each other. Of course, it's not hard when you both are considered traitors to your kin.

Despite sharing the status of traitor, you both differed in various ways. While both superior dragons, neither of you came from the same bloodline. You are one of the rare Claw Brethren. There is also the act of betrayal. You've never held a monarch role like Crimson, so you simply left your previous ways of genocide on humans.

However, you both share a common goal, to take down the Dragon God. Except you didn't foresee that after working together for years, you would start to fall for the heartless mastermind.

But he wasn't truly heartless, you know this. No one got close to Crimson like you. In fact, you are the only living dragon other than Borgius to have seen Crimson in his monarch days. And you must say, it was quite the look.

All that being said, you have finally wiped out a bloodline, the Winged one at that! And you couldn't be happier to have done that, especially with Crimson at your side. Though you suppose the human deserves some credit.

"What we'll do is stay with the Sun Cult and follow their plans. Of course, this is subject to change, as you can't blindly follow homicidal cultists," Crimson was setting up the team's new plan since y'all don't really have one beyond killing dragons.

The team, of course, listened to the brains. Plus, you can't really put your trust in an organization willing to sacrifice their own people... With the end of the talk, each member dispersed to do as they pleased with their new free time. That left you to spend your time with Crimson...

"Tell me, do you really believe that boy will follow any plans the cult gives him?" You personally thought this human would ignore the Sun Cult as a whole, which ya know, makes a lot of sense.

Crimson smirked, but you could feel a mix of disappointment and anger coming off him, "I expect him to, but of course an ignorant brat who only cares about getting rid of bloodlines as soon as possible could derail my entire plan..."

You stared off into nothing, knowing there's not much comfort you can provide. You both sat on the loveseat, planning to have some productive conversation. Or at least you thought so.

Crimson broke the silence, surprisingly getting a bit emotional. Obviously, you couldn't tell from a glance at his face though. "Why are you so stupid as to stay around and follow my plans?"

You were stunned, Crimson is always so proud of his plans, shouldn't he be glad you follow without question?

"You have the strength to destroy a superior dragon, to fight one until daylight and watch it burn. So why don't you?" Crimson is praising you; something isn't right here.

You, getting caught in your feelings after so many centuries, thought saying the first thing that came to mind was absolutely genius, "have you ever considered it's because I love you?" NO- GO BACK GO BACK GO BACK.

No, you cannot go back. Now deal with the consequences of your actions. The consequences aren't that bad actually, it's just a reply, "wow, you're dumber than I thought."

Are you dumb? Sorta. You did fall for quite possibly the biggest asshole to walk this earth.

Now it'd be smart to shut up, yes? No, you will continue, but this time make it cringe, "I'm an idiot, but I can be your idiot."

With a look of shock to a sly smirk, Crimson says, "always have been." You are hiding in your hands, you foolish fool, how did you not see it?

Crimson moves your hands and slowly kisses you. Yeah, you definitely wanna kill the entire dragon species with this person. <3

i wrote this listening to International Love 👍

kinda cringe but gotta embrace it

[polyhatzdaily]

Day 5 : Reunion - Part 2

Skid : "Hmm? Oh, you look familiar, is that you Roy? and Ross and Robert too?" Pump : "Oh hi! It's been a while huh... We were still kids last time we talked huh..." Ross : "Yeah haha- and last time we talked, us three weren't boyfriends yet." Ross motions to Roy and Robert. Skid : "Oh wow! That's great to hear! I hope you guys have been doing good up until now, especially since having us around as kids didn't do you any favors." Robert : "I mean you could say that, but you weren't all that bad in hindsight." Pump : "Well... We almost gave you a killer doll with the ghost of a crazy exterminator in it, Roy got possessed by Moloch, all three of you saw The Stars, you could've been killed by a serial murderer/cannibal, and Skid's father was in a cult that caused most of that stuff. An arsonist cult member who everyone knows as Ignacio now also burnt down a cop's house with the cop's daughter inside as well, just to name a few." Skid : "Well the cult isn't my fault, it's my father's, but the way Pump and I handled the situation was an issue. Although, we had to be what, 9 or 10 years old at the time? Neither of us really understood the consequences of our actions." Roy : "I can understand that, albeit you did piss me the fuck off as a kid." Ross : "Roy!" Skid : "No, it's alright, I get it! Me and Pump were problem children, we can say that for a fact. It doesn't bother us in the slightest." Robert : "You guys are nice, you've grown a lot haha! Maybe we should talk more some time?" Pump : "Sure! If you ever wanna talk, just call me here!" Pump hands a business card over, it's very gothic but is has a phone number and a job title. Robert : "You work at a morgue? I mean it makes sense but... I don't really know what I was expecting." Pump : "Yeah, I guess it was the job that was most appealing to me, not sure why, but it just fit my vibe, I guess. I mean, Skid works night shifts at a bar, It was the one place willing to let him wear his cloak." Skid : "Hey, it's the one thing left of my dad that isn't related to the cult... I miss him." Ross : "I can understand that. It's quite late so we should get going, but thanks for hanging out for a bit you two!" Skid : "Of course! We'll meet up another time, talk more later when it's not so late!" Roy : "*yawn* You could say that. I'm super tired anyways." Robert : "Yeah, we should get home and in bed, have a good one you two!" Pump : "Same for you! Have a good night!" Skid : "Yup! Good night you three!

[ultraericthered]

Why am I encountering Akito Sohma discourse in 2024, soon to be exactly 5 years since the premiere of the second anime adaptation?

Not naming names, only commenting on the garbage takes here.

No duh on "being abused doesn't justify abusing others", but you might want to tell that to all the stans and simps for (usually male) villains who were abused and took their inexcusable actions towards others even further than Akito would've ever dared to yet they get their crimes downplayed or even defended and rationalized with "the abuse they suffered made them into people who act this way, don't judge the way any abuse victim internalizes and externalizes their trauma from the abuse they experienced, there is no 'perfect victim' y'know?", and are said to "deserve better" or "deserve" redemption.

The idea that Akito "got away with everything Scot-free" seems like a really poor reading of the story based on only the notion that if Akito is not dead, locked up in a penitentiary or asylum, or left completely alone and miserable forever by the end of the story, she faced zero consequences for her actions. Totally disregarding how almost the entirety of what the 2019 anime has as its final season was reality coming in to smack Akito around repeatedly and make her face all the natural consequences of her actions, of how she'd lived her life and ruled over her family as an abusive tyrant. See this? All of this?:

This is all Akito's karma. It's from the punishment she wrought for herself. The misery she passed around through her family came back around in full, and she had to watch her entire world, the world of the "eternal banquet" she was promised and believed herself entitled to, gradually unravel along with her own mental and emotional state.

In the anime at least, it hits a crescendo that's regretably so brief and silent that it's easy to miss, but when Akito has mentally shut down and is just sitting there moping beside Shigure, we're shown a bit where she suddenly gets up, like she just hit a breaking point and without any thought, just on pure instinct and emotional impulse, she walks to the screen door and hits her head against it. Given her frail, shaky body language, and the mix of alarm and pity that lurks beneath Shigure's still calm facade, I'm to assume that Akito is wailing and screaming. She's having a full psychotic breakdown.

"She never apologized, never made amends, never did anything to deserve anyone's love and forgiveness". ...I'm sorry, this person really stopped watching after Tohru got put in the hospital, huh? In the last couple of episodes, Akito did nothing BUT be apologetic and set out to make whatever amends she could, including undoing all remaining bonds and breaking the Zodiac curse! She did nothing to "deserve" anyone's love and forgiveness even at this point because now she at last understood she was undeserving of such things and was entitled to nothing, especially nothing from her victims, after the way she'd behaved and the many sins she'd committed. Forgiveness is earned and granted, never "deserved", and it's always a choice whether or not to grant it, so anyone who'd never forgive Akito for as long as they lived would be entirely within their right to do so, and so would be those who did make the choice to forgive her. Neither is invalid. And love is never a matter of "earned", "deserved", or "owed", and to think that it IS is ironically adopting a very Akito mentality.

Also have to go back to that "she never apologized" thing. Really?

Really?

And if "that Tohru, of all people, befriended her despite the horrific things she did to her (not yet and in fact he'd just rejected her) husband" disgusts anyone, than Fruits Basket was never the story for them and Tohru was never a character they were going to love. That moment, and that gesture from Tohru, was one of THE core pillars of the entire narrative, something everything had been building up to from the very beginning. Tohru looked deep inside the cruel, childish, deranged, abusive, controlling, possessive, selfish, cowardly, downright evil pseudo-god that she, and the entire Sohma family, knew as Akito Sohma and she found who Akito Sohma truly was: a sad, abused, broken, twisted, pathetic, wretched, needy and terrified child who'd suffered through an upbringing in which she'd never been allowed to forge a single human connection with anyone else that was not dependent upon her status as the family head and the bonds with the Zodiacs that was her promised birthright, and was thus left with so much vulnerability, so much mental and emotional instability, such fear of living her life in the world as the woman she should be, as the human being she should be, that she kept concealed beneath the armor of a wrathful god who she felt could be comfortably in control of everything in her life and keep it all from slipping away from her and leaving her all alone with all her internal anguish and misery. It's that Akito Sohma who Tohru reached out to and extended the offer of friendship, to become her first ever true human friend in her life, no string attached and no bonds or godhood required. Because that's what Fruits Basket was always all about: the existence and value of love. family, and friendships as forged, mutual, equally consensual connections between humans rather than as some divine mandate upon animals or some commodity to be horded by a god.

Already took shots at "she gets away with everying and does nothing to deserve anyone's love or forgiveness". On the belief that Akito needed to be jailed for her crimes, that is actually something I can agree with and see as a weakness in the series' ending. Once the Zodiac curse was broken and Akito was no longer "God", there'd now be nothing standing in the way of some of the Sohmas, the family members and servants alike, pushing charges against Akito for all the worst things she'd committed against them. We should've been told that such legal action was taken and that Akito knew it was coming and accepted it, being fully ready to accept accountability and justice for her crimes. When last we'd see her and Shigure, they could be doing a round of community service together! That would've been perfect! But Takaya didn't go that route, and I think what we did got was also satisfactory: Akito had lived her life with power, privileges, and freedom with which to do whatever she wanted but was also a prisoner of her own damaged psyche and of the broken family system she was born into and had to play such a large role in perpetuating, so by the end, it's now flipped so that Akito has been internally set free, is healing and finding inner peace, but without the Zodiac curse, the family headship in a lonelier, harder, constraining position but she voluntarily endures with it so that she may live the rest of her life atoning for the sins she'd committed when she was "God", all at a distance from family members who mostly will never forgive her, never think any better of her, and are glad to be free of her. So the idea that Akito's fate not being punitive enough being akin to a slap on the wrist is misguided. It's a lifelong committment to restorative justice and not getting all she desired that Akito's made, and she has to endure it while being romantically involved with Shigure, which honestly feels like a punishment worse than prison!

Piss the fuck off with the "blatant abuse apologist" claim, too. This is the same bullcrap spewed towards Kohei Horikoshi when he gave Endeavor a self improvement/atonement arc. WIth both Endeavor and Akito, the narrative is never at any point remotely pretending that their actions are anything but monstrously abusive, toxic, cruel, harmful and wrong. They're bad and so the abuser is made to feel bad about having ever done them and must face up to all the natural karmic consequences that will inconvenience their lives. An anti-abuse narrative that does not keep it as simple and black-and-white as "the abuser is 100% Bad Person, it's a problem that they exist and hurt people, the solution is to remove them from life entirely" yet still condemns the abuser for their actions and champions their victims ability to move beyond them, find healing, peace, love, and happiness in lives better than what the abuser could ever hope for, is not in the slightest bit "abuse apologism": no apologies or excuses for the abuse are being made.

Not Akito-related, just showing how this same person truly feels about Fruits Basket on the whole due to how "problematic" it is. If it's not for you, fine, and this is actually 100% correct regarding Katsuya Honda being a sociopathic predator who fucked a child student of his yet it get beyond inappropriately framed as a beautiful, romantic, loving thing within the narrative. But when it reaches this hyperbolic "the entire series has no value, it's irredeemable media and deserves to be trashed" level of vitriol for the work...nah. That's not agreeable.

And then there's this anon who called in to say:

Seeing you rightfully call out the utter bullshit of Akito's "redemption" has me heated. The story becomes irredeemably bad the moment the forgiveness shit is pushed.

Let me say this much: there was no "redemption" or "redemption arc" for Akito. She had her big epiphany and recieved personal salvation from Tohru's approach to her, and from then on she turned herself towards self-improvement and atonement for her many sins while finally living a true human life of her own. Atonement /=/ redemption, as all avenues for her to redeem herself for her abusive acts directly to those effected by said abusive acts got closed off a long time ago.

And forgiveness is entirely another matter from redemption and atonement. Tohru, Kureno, Shigure, Momiji, Arisa, and Saki chose to forgive Akito. Literally no one else was shown to do so. Rin even said outright she could never forgive Akito after everything she did, and in the anime at least, she was positioned as not in the wrong for that.

Takaya is on my shit list for life for how she handled Tohru's character, she is my favourite I love her compassion for people and her determination to never give up despite how difficult things can be plus her learning to move on from her crippling grief resonates with me. The ending Takaya gives her is fucking vile Tohru forgiving and befriending Akito is bullshit and my mind is never going to change on that.

"I love her compassion for people." "Tohru forgiving and befriending Akito is bullshit!" Do...you not see how these are conflicting ideas? "Tohru is wonderful for how much empathy and compassion she has for people...wait no, not THAT people!" How do you miss that big?

The sole reason Tohru wants to break the curse is because she sees how much her friends are suffering under Akito's abuse both mentally and physically. She would never be so inconsiderate of their feelings as to befriend the person who hurt them so much.

And she also saw how much Akito herself was suffering under the curse and the role that was forced upon her from birth. Also, how is choosing to befriend her friends abuser inconsiderate when they don't need to factor into it at all? Tohru doesn't try to force Yuki, Kyo, Rin, Momiji, Hiro, Kisa and the rest to also be friends with Akito. She at no point even considers that possibility. What's between Tohru and Akito is kept purely between them, away from Akito's victims. Tohru understands that they'd never be comfortable around Akito due to having a history with her that Tohru herself does not have, and while she wants to help Akito move past her pain and put in the good work to make reparations for her sins, she's not going to ever downplay how vile those sins were and how badly they hurt people, nor would she put up even the pretense of giving absolution of them to Akito.

That's not even getting to my other major problem with this storyline Tohru never even learns about half of the horrific shit Akito does to her friends, Takaya intentionally has her character be left in the dark. Not to mention how abusive akito is to HER!

Why does it need to be Tohru's business to know absolutely every horrible deed Akito ever did to every person she was ever horrible to? Akito did that shit, it happened, there's nothing Tohru can do that could possibly change that or make any of it better. And oh dear, are we getting into the "antagonistic behavior = abuse" bullshit again?

She manipulates her the first time they meet and then at the beach house she threatens her and scratches up her face. Tohru outright admits she is scared of her. Then towards the end of the story akito then has the audacity to blame her for the zodiacs not loving her despite that being the consequences of her own disgusting actions. She shows up at the house to hurt and potentially kill Tohru, she slaps her multiple times, stabs her and pushes her close to the cliffs end directly putting her in danger. Akito almost gets the poor girl killed. Akito spends the entire story being an abusive monster to Tohru and the people she loves. And nearly leads to multiple characters dying, Takaya really wants us to think a friendship Between the two of them is cute because they both relate to being lonely????

Ah yes. Yes we are. Most of what's described above is Akito being a cruel villain and acting as a threatening adversary to Tohru, with actions that are clearly reprehensible and uncalled for but are not inherently "abusive", as Akito is treating a stranger badly and making enemies with her rather than being in any relationship in which she can treat her abusively. The hardest into abuse it ever swings is when Akito is holding a knife to Tohru and physically strikes her, and that's when Akito is in the midst of a full-blown psychotic episode.

And that the characters apparently aren't that different to each other??? When they clearly are. Tohru is a kind and compassionate person who helps those around her while Akito is a manipulative snake who treats those around her like they are her possessions. Tohru grows up being bullied and alone. Akito is a child abuser and commits multiple attempted murders. Trust me Takaya these characters aside from them having tragic backstories and fears of abandonment are as far away from each other as you can get.

Tohru was brought up to be kind and selfless, to the point of seeing her own self as lesser in value than others. Akito's upbringing shaped her into becoming cruel and selfish, to the point of seeing others as possessions for her to keep hold of, to pleasure her with a sense of superiorty as a cover for her own poor self image and lack of self-worth. Tohru was left alone without her mother and was ostracized by her peers. Akito was left alone without her father (as her own mother would never give her the time of day) and was "othered" by literally every person around her. They're foils. Akito is a broken reflection of what Tohru might've become if Kyoko had not put in that effort to be such a kind, loving, nurturing parent, and Akito always envied Tohru because she reflects the girl she might've been had she been allowed to be, and not internalized everything wrong with the Sohma family nor adopted her mother's own internalized misogyny.

The friendship is disgusting, Akito is an evil bitch period she is not Tohru's problem or her responsibility. Also Uo and Hana being friends with her after they find out she nearly killed their best friend and Kureno was also so gross. The characters do some of the most OOC shit in order to give Akito one of the least deserving redemption arcs i have ever seen. It is truly some of the most atrocious, insulting writing, Takaya should be embarrassed for thinking this was an acceptable way to end the story.

If you want to get technical, none of the Sohmas are Tohru's problem or responsibility. It's not on her to "fix" them or be their therapist and savior, she doesn't owe them anything. She chooses to help them out of compassion, empathy, and a desire to do right by others, to see true justice done and freedom, peace, and happiness assured for the people she cares about in their lives going forward, With Akito too, she did not impose or make her into her responsibility; she extended her hand. She offered Akito a choice. The friendship would not happen if Akito decided she was unwilling to put in the effort to do her part and accept the care, help, comfort and understanding offered to her by Tohru. So yeah, you can blame Akito for that too, even though it's not a wrong thing of her to do whatsoever! Uotani also did not become Akito's friend, more like a friendly acquaintance. Hanajima did follow Tohru's lead and befriend her, and considering she knows how it feels to internally tear yourself apart with self-loathing over guilt from having hurt people to the point of cursing your very identity and existence, I'd say her decision makes sense.

I haven't read the spin off but Akito having a child just reinforces that she is still the same selfish person she has always been. Her wanting to have children but deciding not to because of how they would suffer due to her terrible actions would actually mean she has to live with the consequences of what she has done. but of course we can't have that.

Meh. Not much a fan of that spin off and I'm kind of hoping we don't get it adapted into an anime. Some things are best left open-ended.

[quibbs126]

Hi, I’m sorry if this isn’t any help, but do you know why you’re avoiding the real world so much? Berating yourself won’t help. If you wanna solve a problem u gotta find the root cause and take steps from that cause.

Well if I had to take a guess

Real world issues, or at least the ones I consider significant, always stress me out greatly, and I feel like I have an avoidant take when it comes to things that stress me out; namely, that I try to avoid them until they go away. Unfortunately, that’s a lot of things when it comes to the real world. Doesn’t help I’m a raging procrastinator

Unfortunately this can happen the other way around and I can miss opportunities because I simply choose not to act on something. And I recognize that waiting around probably makes situations worse, but for me, that’s just how I do thing, and I think the problem will just solve itself, so I should just ignore it

And not to mention, I basically know nothing about the real world, and how I’m supposed to interact with it. I’m 20, but I don’t feel like an adult, I think that’s still to come later after I’m done with school; I still have the mind of a teenager, if not younger. I don’t even have much of a concept of money. Talk about anything in the 1000s or higher and you’ve lost me on the specifics of how expensive that is, other than it’s expensive; $10,000 and $100,000 mean the same thing to me, other than $100,000 being ten times more. I don’t understand taxes or salaries or mortgages. I don’t understand what’s a good salary or not, so long as it’s money. I don’t understand how you’re supposed to interact with other people. I don’t even know what size pants I wear, because I don’t buy my clothes, my parents do. They take care of pretty much everything, and thus I don’t know much of anything, that’s adult stuff

And I’m well aware that I don’t know anything, and I know that you shouldn’t try and deal with areas you’re unfamiliar with, so I don’t bother with all of that, especially not without consulting my parents. I wouldn’t even make appointments for things about school without asking them when’s best or telling them that I’m doing so

I don’t want to be so reliant on them, but the reality is that I am, and that’s not gonna change anytime soon, especially not if I end up taking online schooling and I have to live with them full time again. I like my freedom to go outside for a random walk whenever, and to eat what I want and buy what I want, even if 90% of those expenditures is just food

I’m well aware that I’m incredibly sheltered. One time in college I had someone genuinely think that I was homeschooled, when in reality I’ve been publicly schooled all my life, and I went to pre-school for years before that. But I have so little an understanding of the world and the people in it that I don’t blame her for thinking that

Not to mention, I just don’t understand real consequences. They aren’t a thing in my mind. My family’s never really had to struggle, at least not to a point I’m aware, and I’ve never been punished that bad. I think my worst ever punishment is getting yelled at, and have my video games taken away until a certain point or until I do the thing I got yelled at for not doing. And so in my mind’s eye, that’s the worst that can happen, that I get reprimanded for my own actions/inaction and life continues. I mean, part of that is because I’ve never done something that bad, but still. I don’t have a concept of the consequences of failing college or not getting a degree. My parents do, since neither of them went to college, hence why they want me to, but I don’t. I don’t understand what it’s like to be poor or homeless, or how bad a minimum wage job is or not being able to pay bills. I’ve never experienced them or anything remotely similar, so I just don’t understand that these concepts exist. It’s like a video game to me, the stakes aren’t really there. And that’s not to say I want those things to happen to me, far from it, but in my head they’re more like fictional concepts. So I don’t see much point to them. I know they’re important, but only because someone tells me they are

The real world leaves me scared and stressed, and I don’t know the first thing about it. I don’t know what’s reliable information about it and what isn’t, because people will lie or just not know. And because I don’t want to make a fool of myself and I just end up getting stressed out, I avoid it and instead turn to shows, video games, drawing and fandoms

In a video game, they don’t expect you to know everything right out of the gate, and they’ll tell you. There’s no consequences to asking questions to things you don’t understand, and they’re usually not too difficult of concepts to understand in the first place. And games usually are pretty good at telling you what you need to do and giving you the knowledge to do so, I don’t have to do a lot of guesswork as to what I’m supposed to do or how to approach a situation, and if I do, then that’s usually a consequence of bad game design. And you have to rely on your own knowledge to progress, and I feel accomplishment when I do something right, and the game rewards me in some way too

And drawing is the only real world skill I have, and I’m proud of myself when it turns out good. It’s an actual skill I’ve cultivated myself and continue to cultivate, even if I forget to draw a lot or have trouble figuring it out sometimes. And it’s something I can show the world. Not much to anyone in the real world, especially not my family since I doubt they’re interested in my fanart, but I can at least show them to the Internet

And while fandom isn’t the nicest place to be, interacting on these spaces requires knowledge that I actually have and am interested in, and people actually will listen to what I say, and sometimes even agree with me. It’s one of the only places I feel an iota of smartness, even if I can’t be that analytical because my brain isn’t like that naturally and tends to see very surface level things, or deeper things I just can’t express in words

And just all in all, those things make me happy. Yeah I feel guilt at night that I favor those things instead of dealing with real world stuff, but they’re all I know and have

At least I think that’s part of the reason why. I don’t know for sure and I don’t know if I worded it all correctly

[losers-club-hcs]

Helping Hands

Word count:1.7k

Warnings: description of minor wounds

About: Stan didn't expect to meet Bill especially not in this way but after helping him out after a biking accident he finds himself wishing to spent more time together.

A/N: I got impatient at the end so its a bit rushed 😅

Stanley Uris never really knew much love, at least not the kind of love he wanted to experience. Sure, his parents loved him, but even that felt fake at times, no Stanley wanted to feel desired, he wanted to hold a special place in someone's heart, a place reserved for him and him alone. The type of love that would bond their souls, wispy tendrils reaching out and tying together, becoming solidified. Although Stanley yearns for this love he never thought he would get to experience it for himself, only able to stare from afar, reaching out for something he could never have.

     That was until he met him. Stan has seen him around before sure, but he's never really known him. Perhaps this was destiny, an event that had been unknowably predetermined by the universe since before he was even born, perhaps there is no such thing as fate, only consequences of actions. That was neither here nor there; however, the topic of fate versus free-will is a debate that Stanley is concerned with at the moment. 

     The meeting, in Stan's eyes, was one of the best things to happen to him so far in his life, the meeting that shaped his future in more ways than he could ever know.

     It was a normal day, stan recalls nothing particularly exciting had happened and he was content with the state of content he found himself in. His mood, however, was quick to change when it happened.

     The school day was nothing interesting, same old teachers, same old classmates, same old boring assignments, no, it was what happened after the school day that flipped the whole day on its side.

     Stanley had been walking home from school, bike at his side, taking in the afternoon breeze when he heard it, a loud crash, followed by a dull smack of skin on concrete, trust him Stanley has taken enough tumbles to be familiar with the sound. Snapping his head down from the sky, where it had been positioned previously, he took in the concerning scene. A bike, laying on its side, looking a little beat up but nothing too concerning, what was concerning however, was the boy on the ground his hands and knees firmly planted on the concrete of the sidewalk, a bike crash Stanley determined and a pretty bad one too based on the state of the boys hands, which had been raised to the boys eye level to assess the damage. Stanley's immediate thought, being a very morally inclined person, was to assist the boy, or at the very least ask him if he was alright, so he did just that. 

     "Are you ok, that looks pretty bad" Stan inquired, but immediately backtracked knowing that the boy was in fact not alright, his palms and fingertips were covered in bloody scrapes with small rocks embedded into his skin, Stanley assumed his knees were in a similar state. 

     The boy gazed up at Stanley following his question, "i'm alright I th-think, thanks" he lied, his voice laced with faint traces of pain, his face showed similar signs of pain, a grimace painted on his mouth and scrunched eyebrows simply proved Stanley's theory, this boy was not ok even if he said he was 

     Stanley, deciding to call him out, spoke, "well you're obviously not ok, I mean do you see the state of your hands?" Stan asked, a small chuckle, lacking any humor, made its way out of his lips. Stan knew the boy would need some form of medical attention, knowing that he would feel guilty if he simply walked away from this, he decided to provide it himself, his house was just down the street anyway, and it was the least he could do, " come on, my house is just down the street those hands really need to get disinfected, probably your knees as well they're most likely scraped up too", Stan offered, while not giving the boy much room to argue.

     "Oh, no it's ok it's not that bad, my house isn't too far from here, don't worry about me" the boy dismissed Stan's offer, probably not wanting to be a burden.

     " that wasn't a question, that needs to be taken care of, my house is closer anyway and i'm offering to help you, so come on, I can push your bike", Stan's voice held no traces of irritation, simply firmness, he wasn't about to just abandon him there.

     The boy's eyes narrowed in contemplation." You're sure it's not an issue, I don't want to be a burden or anything" the words coming from the boy's mouth made Stanley sigh, " why is this kid so stubborn? "

     "I am one hundred percent positive you won't be a burden, now stop being stubborn and let's go" walking towards the boy as he spoke he grabbed his arm and pulled the boy off the ground, not wanting to cause further pain by grabbing his hand. After the boy was steady on his feet he grabbed the boys bike, along with his own and started off to his home, looking back to make sure the boy was following him

     Stan's gaze snapped the boy out of his trance, quickly limping towards him to keep up. After a few seconds of uncomfortably silence Stan broke the tension with a question "my name's Stan Uris, yours?" 

     "Bill,Bill Denbrough" came the boy's response. 

     "Well Bill Denbrough, what happened to cause a crash like that?" Stan referenced the event that brought them to this point.

      "Think it was a rock or something, i'm not quite sure", Bill answered the question, voice relaxed now that the tension was broken.

     "Must have been some rock, I mean with that amount of damage you'd have thought it was a Boulder or something", Stan's joke earned a laugh from Bill, and Stan smiled at the boy in return. Looking ahead Stan realized that his house was just a few steps away and informed Bill of this fact. When he got close enough to the front steps of his house Stan gently placed both of the bikes on his lawn putting his kickstand down, but not seeing one on Bill's bike, he simply set it on the ground.

     Stan gestured for Bill to follow him as he claimed the concrete steps in front of his house, opening the door for him to walk in first. Stan walked in behind him and closed the door. "My rooms just up the stairs" said Stan, moving towards the stairs, Bill said nothing in return but nodded his head in response. Walking up the stairs and down the hallway Stan came face to face with the door of his bedroom. His hand grasped the knob twisting it and pushing it open, stepping inside he held the door for Bill who stepped into the room cautiously.

     "Take a seat on the bed i'll just go grab some disinfectant and stuff, it'll just take a minute" Stan informed the boy staring out the door to his bathroom, when he arrived he opened up the cabinet and retrieved the needed supplies from within, disinfectant spray, gauze, and  medical tape he also wet a rag with warm water to wipe off the dirt and rocks on Bills hands and knees. Stan rushed back to his room, not wanting Bills injuries to go untreated any longer than they already have. He quickly returned to his bedroom entering once again and approached his bed, where Bill was sitting. 

     "Alright, give me your hands, I'll do those first and then your knees" Stan gestured to Bills hands. Bill obliged and Stan got to work, taking the wet rag and gingerly running it over Bills hands feeling sorry as Bill hissed in pain "sorry" Stan apologized before returning to the task at hand more gently this time first removing all the dirt and rocks from that hand before moving on to the other. There was a comfortable silence between the two only broken by the occasional sounds of pain from Bill and subsequent apologies from Stan. Satisfied with the cleanliness of Bills palms and fingers Stan then moved on to Bills knees. Stan placed a hand on bills calf raising his leg up slightly in order to get a better angle. Following the same routine he had for his hands gently swiping the rag across his skin untill All the debris disappeared. Stan made quick work of cleaning Bills knees, "now its time for the hard part, the disinfecting" Stan warned, knowing that it wouldn't be pleasant. 

     "Its fine, it won't be that bad" Bill reassured 

     "That's what you think, this stuff burns pretty bad",Stan informed, shaking the bottle of disinfectant spray if front of Bill Stans words were not at all reassuring.

     "I can handle it" Bill said teasingly. To which Stan replied,

     "If you say so", Stan raised the disinfectant spray to Bills knees and spritzed the wounds, trying his best to be quick. Once again Bill hissed in pain, the burning feeling worse than he thought it would be.

   "Told ya" teased Stan.

     "Oh hush, it's nothing I've had worse" Bill joked back.while the disinfectant was doing its job of disinfecting, stan applied some to Bills hands, earning the same sound of pain, this time was worse though, the injuries on his hands were worse than his knees "sorry" Stan said apologetically, before setting the bottle down and picking up the gauze and tape. Placing the gauze onto the injuries on bills knees, long strips of tape holding them in place. His hands required a diffrent approach, wrapping the gauze around his hands and fingers and then taping it into place securely.

     "All done" said Stan, standing up from his previous kneeling position.

     "Thanks" Bill spoke with appreciation tworads Stans actions.

     "Its no problem, I'm just glad I could help" Stan reassured.

     "Hey stan… would you wanna hang out sometime or something?" Bill asked, working that Stan would refuse his offer.

     "Oh… yea sure just call me and I'll be there" Stan spoke, glad that Bill had asked the question that he himself had been contemplating on asking. 

     The two boys made their way downstairs and to the front door, goodbyes were said and plans were made. Bill reluctantly left Stans house, grabbed his bike and pushed it to his own home. 

     One thought was on both boys minds, "he's really cute".

[daybreakrising]

5. What is a character you love, but don’t think you can write? 6. Name 3 things you love most about your muse/muses. 7. What is one overrated roleplay trend? 13. Is there one trope you can’t stand? 18. What is one thing you’d wish to see more in the rp community?

meme for roleplay muns | @wwriothesley

5. What is a character you love, but don’t think you can write?

k//azuha. i adore him, have done since the first time he appeared, but i don't think i'd be able to capture him to a degree i'd be satisfied with.

also, i'd love to write one of the g//enpact ladies but i have no idea who bc i don't think i'd do any of them justice dklfgnlfhgj

6. Name 3 things you love most about your muse/muses.

1) i love that there's quite a variety of personalities within my muse list. i might joke that i have a Type (and i do) but there's actually quite a wide array of characters. it gives me the chance to explore different attitudes and values & keeps things interesting.

2) i can't not mention wrio here, since he's clearly the current favourite. the thing i love most about him is that he's more than what he shows on the surface. i especially love that he turned out to be nothing like anyone expected based on his look. i really enjoy exploring the depths of his character and i can't wait to keep building on that both through my own headcanons and through writing/discussing with partners.

3) i also love my villains. i find villains / antagonists really fun to write, because they don't adhere to any rules. the more morally grey the muse, the more fun i can have with them. i'm not afraid to get dark & i won't apologise for their behaviour in the context of writing (but neither do i excuse them or pretend it's remotely Okay. i'm not a villain apologist and i never will be)

7. What is one overrated roleplay trend?

overformatting replies. i don't see this anymore, so i'm either following the right people, or it's died (or dying) out. but for a while, there was a lot of - frankly wild - formatting trends that i just couldn't understand. now i'm all for making things look nice, of course, but when i can't physically read something because it's so over the top, it kinda defeats the point. if i'm straining my eyes to read your tiny text, or struggling to understand a word because it's got a thousand spaces in it, i'm gonna get tired real quick and i'll lose interest entirely. just... keep it simple. simple can still be pretty.

13. Is there one trope you can’t stand?

oh, man, there are quite a few. i don't even want to mention some of them for fear of ending up in tags i don't wanna be in. i'll let your imagination run wild with that one. generally, though, they're all relating to types of relationships that i just do not vibe with at all.

i guess one i can discuss is a villain getting an undeserved redemption arc - and by that i mean a redemption arc where everyone just conveniently forgets all the terrible shit they did and the villain is never held accountable for their actions. no. that's not redemption, that's bullshit. give me a proper redemption arc with guilt and accountability and consequences.

18. What is one thing you’d wish to see more in the rp community?

it's gotten a lot better since i first started writing here, but it will always need more work - communication, tolerance & patience. i'm so happy that my little corner of the community doesn't seem to have any problems in that department, but i know it's far from true for other parts of the community. some people take this silly little hobby far too seriously and they need to just... chill. that feels like a bit of an obvious answer but i think it's an important one, so... /shrug

[latinopercy]

hi!!! i just finished episode 3 of monster donut and i have a few thoughts/questions (i wrote this all out and then got distracted and accidentally closed the page, so I’m gonna do my best to rewrite it from memory):

1) thalia’s faith in her father vs luke’s lack of faith in his father is mentioned, and how signs from zeus are enough for thalia but luke wants more than a sign from hermes. do you think it’s possible that this is partly just because of their experiences with the gods so far / how the gods have influenced their lives thus far? bc luke’s life was heavily influenced by the gods bc of his mom’s curse. on the other hand, we don’t really know if thalia’s life has been influenced by the gods so far (aside from learning in HoO that her mom traded jason’s life away to a goddess, though I wonder if she blames her mom for that more than the gods), since she believes zeus helped her meet luke and so far that’s been a good thing

2) i think the question of how long luke kept the diary is really interesting. at one point it was mentioned that maybe he kept the diary for as long as he still believed he could change fate, so i wonder if maybe he kept it until thalia’s death. but also, the idea that he kept it up until right before he left CHB is sooo intriguing, especially with the idea y’all mentioned of him intentionally leaving the diary in the hermes cabin for someone like him to find

anyway yeah those are my thoughts, i might have missed something i wrote in the original message but c’est la vie ig

THANK YOU FOR THESE

1) yes!! i think that's absolutely part of it. emily actually mentioned something like this outside the podcast but neither of us could fully remember how often zeus was supposedly around in thalia's life before she ran so we figured we'd talk about it when it comes up in the reread, but my thought right now before rereading is yes, i think thalia probably blames her mom more for sacrificing jason than she blames the gods and being raised in an environment where zeus is in and out of her life and her mother is constantly searching for signs from zeus could easily have rubbed off on her, while luke is only living with the consequences of hermes' actions and so has never had any reason to yearn for more of his influence in his life. we'll see if that changes once we actually get to thalia & jason's backstory though

2) ok this is where emily's and my thought differs, because i actually think these ideas can co-exist. i don't think luke gave up on the idea he could change fate when he saw thalia turn into a tree, i think he blamed the gods/fates for it but believes his choices can still change the trajectory of his life even after he leaves camp. in this scenario, leaving the diary behind was a strategic decision rather than a declaration of his loss of faith in his ability to change fate though (HOWEVER in a way this version IS giving into fate bc he knows the diary is meant to help him work his way through a world-changing choice and likely feels he's made it when he leaves camp, though considering the choice is to challenge the gods idk if he wants to think of it that way). or maybe he kept it up through botl. though i think he probably feels fate bearing down on him around ttc/botl and starts to give up that hope that he has any choice in any of this.... actually i think we just need a full version of luke's diary with handwritten notes and doodles and interludes where annabeth found it while they were on the run and made a little page for herself and also torn out pages and scratched out paragraphs that make you go Hm.