#ESPECIALLY if you're an adult on the internet

[swornmae]

what the fuck is this, exile arc?

oh this is fucking CONCERNING concerning ok

[dandelion-wings]

I feel like I've said this at some point before, but it genuinely makes me worry for The Youth Of Today when I co-op with someone who is clearly a kid, and they exclaim about how nice I am and glom on hard (I have multiple now where I've accepted their friend requests and then had, over the next couple weeks, to gently get across that I cannot always be chatting/co-oping while in-game) when I am just exerting the basic friendliness and good manners that one brings to a group activity that one has agreed to or solicited. Both, like, are the kids okay (and is gaming culture really so toxic that basic friendliness and encouragement has that much appeal), but also... I am not really sure it is safe for you to be attaching yourself this hard to a random stranger that you played a game with once just because they were nice in your first interaction? Nice does not mean safe!

[sharky-the-idiot]

"Stay mad, cope and seethe because I am BASED!!" I'm just laughing at you dude why is your entire internet persona dedicated to making people hate you

[catboyolli]

.

[aroceu]

i love having my online friends but now that i'm nearly in my 30s and still navigating this space i'm like. wow some of you will say literally anything to a total and complete stranger on the internet huh

[atlas-affogato]

Wanting to not interact with minors when you run a nsfw blog I get, but I get so weirded out by people who demand not just an "18+" or "adult" in peoples bios but their real actual age. Why? Why do you need to know so bad? You don't even run a nsfw blog, why do you care so much? Sorry but I don't have to time nor energy to care about who follows me THAT much. Seeing people in reblogs being like "I block anyone who doesn't have their exact age in their bio" hi have you considered that you're unhinged? Have you considered that that's none of your business? Or that its actually safer to not state your age in your social media accounts?Running a kink or sex related blog I can understand blocking people you don't want interacting with your stuff. But just regular old fandom blogs? Political blogs? Normal blogs?? Why? WHAT is the point, truly? Teens don't have cooties, you're not going to burst into flames because some 16 year old reblogged a picture of cats from your blog. I well and truly do not understand this mentality.

[i-donthaveanygoodidea]

The cognitive dissonance of some people is baffling

Like I was just scrolling through a tag to find something, i see a weird post and click on the person's profile out of curiosity and see their pinned post is a block list, whatever you do you not my problem

And then not even three posts down they've reblogged a post from someone on the block list and is making fun of them in the reblog

????

If you hate this person so much that you have them in a block list why bother continue to interact with them at all, just move on like the presumably adult person that you supposedly are

I genuinely don't understand this need to stew in your own misery, especially on the internet, a place where you can actually avoid people and curate the content you see

[woso-dreamzzz]

Natalia III

Hardersson x Daughter!Reader

Natalia Guijarro (OC) x Hardersson!Reader

Part of The Big Adeventures Universe

Summary: Talia reflects on your relationship

The first time Talia ever saw you, was on tv.

She was hunkered down in Patri's apartment avoiding going home to her parents because she knew that they would make her clean her room. A random Swedish league match was playing and she'd looked up from her phone to see you make a daring save that kept your team in the title race.

The commentator called you 'Linköping's young talent' and Talia had searched you up on the internet. She also briefly stalked your socials but came to the conclusion that you didn't really post much.

She didn't know what it was about you but you kept her interest. You seemed sweet enough in interviews, if a little nervous, and you looked especially sweet when your first stop after a match ended was to your parents.

Then, she met you on the youth teams.

It had been a while since Denmark and Spain had played against each other, longer than either of you had been on the teams.

Talia was excited to put your skills to the test and, maybe, to impress you with her skills too.

You were nervous when she approached you at the end of the match, oblivious to her flirting and teasing and to the way her eyes glanced down at your lips when you spoke and the way that she wouldn't stop touching you in ways that weren't friendly at all.

But, still, she had gotten your number and you had taken her out on a date that you didn't know was a date.

It was perfect, even if your parents were hunkered down at the back and very clearly trying to eavesdrop.

Youth teams don't guarantee a professional career though and Talia hopes that you and her will be the ones that make it despite the odds. She knows she's good. She's a great striker and she knows you're good too. You're a great keeper.

She just knew you'd both make it professional.

Talia signs for Barcelona's first team and you leave Linköping and Sweden for Arsenal and England.

Soon, you're abandoning Talia in the youth teams to take your rightful place in Sweden's senior team.

It's easier to get a hold of senior team matches so Talia has a much easier time watching you. You hold your own against the adults and, while you don't play as often as the other keepers, you still thrive and Talia's desperate to solidify her spot in the senior team to face you again.

You win things at Arsenal and Talia wins things at Barcelona.

She's not yet broken into the Spain senior team. Their front line is packed with talent and Natalia has yet to prove herself better than any of them.

The World Cup comes and goes and she's still in Spain, training her skills as you win the greatest football tournament in the world by your own two feet.

Then, you join Barcelona and Talia can't help herself.

The playful flirting she used to engage in goes into overdrive. You're oblivious though and it's just part of your charm.

It drives her crazy in the best way possible until that night in the club is the spark that ignites your relationship.

Now, though, you're in her bed.

She can hold you at night and play with you during the day and take Prins out for a walk with you in the evening.

You're in her bed and you're in her life as her girlfriend.

She's been to visits to Sweden with you and had long talks with your mothers. Your relationship was strong and stable and survived the year you went to France and all those times that Sweden had crushed Spain on the international level.

Sweden is going through a golden age of players and it's intimidating.

But you're at the helm, the one leading all of those talented youngsters, the one that opened the coach's eyes to what happens when young talent is brought into the squad as soon as possible.

You groan. "Talia?" Your eyes flutter open. "Are those my parents making all that noise?"

She had been ignoring that.

Your mothers were visiting and it sounded like they were rummaging through the kitchen if the banging of pots and pans were anything to go off.

"Yes," She says with a wince," I think so."

You groan, turning over and burying your face in Talia's chest. "Can we just ignore-"

There's a long string of swear words as a loud clatter of pans falling echoes around the house. Prins joins in and barks up a storm.

"Nevermind," You say," I'm up."

Your kitchen is a mess.

"Nothing is where it should be!" Magda's complaining as Pernille gingerly tries to put things back.

"This isn't your house," You say with a teasing huff," We organise things a different way."

"Your Morsa was trying to make breakfast," Pernille says," She's forgotten that breakfast was never her speciality."

"We can go and grab breakfast." Talia comes out of the bedroom, fully dressed and pulling her hair back. "I've already ordered something."

The way she's said it makes you frown and you miss the way Magda and Pernille's eyes light up in delight at what she says.

"I'll come." What's even weirder is Magda is the one that offers. Morsa is still in that phase where she's pretending to hate absolutely everything about Talia, at least to her face so it's strange that she's having some one-on-one time with your girlfriend.

"Oh," You say with a frown," Give me a second. I'll put on my-"

"No," Pernille cuts you off quickly," Let those two get it. We can tidy up this kitchen."

"Oh...er...okay. I guess?"

Talia loves that you're oblivious. She's been dropping hints all week and the week before. She'd asked you specific questions and said very specific things but you're none the wiser about her true intentions.

To you, it just seems like Talia's picked up a sudden interest in rings.

[discodeerdiary]

There's a good reason why I try not to argue publicly with anyone under 18, and it's not that I think they're inherently stupid, it's not that I think their brains are "underdeveloped", it's not that I think they can "do no wrong", it's that I never know how much freedom they actually have to think freely, or how many of their opinions are actually their own. Of course, under-18s *can be* capable of thinking for themselves and developing their own opinions, but (here in the US at least) law and culture put a lot of roadblocks on their ability to do so.

Of course parents and teachers cannot actually control the inner thoughts of the children they wield power over, but they can restrict the information that they have access to, can punish them for saying the wrong things, can cut them off from healthy diverse social groups, and can convince the child their thoughts are being monitored through religion, psychology, and other appeals to higher authority.

Thus if a random teenager says some headass shit in my mentions I have no way of knowing if these are opinions they arrived at on their own, or if they are dogmas forced on them by the people holding food and shelter over their head. If it's the latter, there's nothing to be gained from a public confrontation: people are generally unwilling to change their opinions in a direction that threatens their social support system, and they are especially unwilling to do so at the behest of an internet stranger who cannot offer alternative forms of support. If a teen is genuinely curious about my opinion (that is *if they consent* to a discussion of disagreements) and if I have the mental bandwidth for a potentially emotionally loaded conversation, yeah I'll have it, but I'm not gonna maintain any illusions about my ability to change their mind until they can find a way to live independently.

This is also why my leniency toward the not-yet-adult tends to also extend to the recently-adult. Coming up with a system of beliefs that you're actually willing to stand behind? Shit takes time, and I'm not necessarily gonna expect it of a 20-year-old who may, for all I know, have been living under conditions of near-absolute control up until their 18th birthday. Sure they may be opening their mind in college, or college may be their parents way of keeping them too occupied with busywork to develop new opinions, as they continue to hold financial support over their head. It's around their mid-twenties that I'm willing to go full gloves-off antagonistic with strangers, knowing that they've had a few years of legal and social adulthood under their belt, and that even if they're still financially dependent on their parents it's a different sort of dependence, one where they're given default legal permission to run away from home.

A lot of people are deeply uncomfortable with this line of thinking because if you look too far into the factors that influence young people's thoughts, you eventually have to start asking yourself which forces of dependency are influencing your own beliefs and opinions. Yeah, as an independent adult you may have the option to quit your job, divorce your spouse, ditch your friends, move to another country, but realistically how many of these can you accomplish at the same time? How many do you even want to? And how are all of these forces *in aggregate* setting the acceptable limits of what you're allowed to think and feel? It can be upsetting to think of yourself this way, it can be easier to think of yourself as a true free thinker and children as mindless automatons, but I urge you to think of mentally coercive environments as a continuum rather than a binary. The point is not to free yourself from all influence, but to gain the ability to see yourself as an influenced mind, and to have compassion for those dealing with all the bullshit you don't have to anymore.

[domesticatedfemcel]

safety and awareness post:

fellow minors in proship and propara spaces, please be careful. here's some pieces of advice to preserve your safety:

- do not interact with pro contact or "complex contact" MAPs. they will try to justify their stance, but it's all bs. minors can't consent, and that includes you.

- [this point was misinformed and biased against non-contact MAPs. i'm leaving this as a bullet point so it's known what the original issue with this post was]

- do not label yourself as an "AAM", it's completely normal to be attracted to adults as a minor and it's not a form of paraphilia, using that term only attracts MAPs who are looking for someone to take advantage of.

- do not post in detail about your paraphilias. you are inviting creeps to interact with and take advantage of you. keep it to yourself.

- to continue that, don't post any sexually explicit content, whether it be text posts or art. suggestive is one thing, but explicit is never appropriate.

- don't interact with adults posting explicit content either. if a blog says for minors to not interact, don't interact. if it says you can interact but to block nsft tags, block the tags.

- to continue, any adult who knowingly allows minors to interact with their explicit content needs to be avoided like the plague. chances are they have generally fucked up views about minors and their ability to consent.

- never post pictures of yourself. just don't. as accepting as the proship community is, it doesn't change the fact that predators are everywhere, and there can be people using the community to take advantage of others. if you want to post selfies, wait until you're 18.

- similarly, please just keep basic internet safety in mind. you do not know the random people you interact with on tumblr. don't give them your personal information. this can especially be important when in the proship community due to the amount of harassment you may face. don't make it easy for someone to find you.

--

all and all, keep yourself safe. being proship is about being anti harassment, and that includes protecting yourself from sexual harassment.

[dreamdolldeveloper]

back to basics

mostly free resources to help you learn the basics that i've gathered for myself so far that i think are cool

everyday

gcfglobal - about the internet, online safety and for kids, life skills like applying for jobs, career planning, resume writing, online learning, today's skills like 3d printing, photoshop, smartphone basics, microsoft office apps, and mac friendly. they have core skills like reading, math, science, language learning - some topics are sparse so hopefully they keep adding things on. great site to start off on learning.

handsonbanking - learn about finances. after highschool, credit, banking, investing, money management, debt, goal setting, loans, cars, small businesses, military, insurance, retirement, etc.

bbc - learning for all ages. primary to adult. arts, history, science, math, reading, english, french, all the way to functional and vocational skills for adults as well, great site!

education.ket - workplace essential skills

general education

mathsgenie - GCSE revision, grade 1-9, math stages 1-14, provides more resources! completely free.

khan academy - pre-k to college, life skills, test prep (sats, mcat, etc), get ready courses, AP, partner courses like NASA, etc. so much more!

aleks - k-12 + higher ed learning program. adapts to each student.

biology4kids - learn biology

cosmos4kids - learn astronomy basics

chem4kids - learn chemistry

physics4kids - learn physics

numbernut - math basics (arithmetic, fractions and decimals, roots and exponents, prealgebra)

education.ket - primary to adult. includes highschool equivalent test prep, the core skills. they have a free resource library and they sell workbooks. they have one on work-life essentials (high demand career sectors + soft skills)

youtube channels

the organic chemistry tutor

khanacademy

crashcourse

tabletclassmath

2minmaths

kevinmathscience

professor leonard

greenemath

mathantics

3blue1brown

literacy

readworks - reading comprehension, build background knowledge, grow your vocabulary, strengthen strategic reading

chompchomp - grammar knowledge

tutors

not the "free resource" part of this post but sometimes we forget we can be tutored especially as an adult. just because we don't have formal education does not mean we can't get 1:1 teaching! please do you research and don't be afraid to try out different tutors. and remember you're not dumb just because someone's teaching style doesn't match up with your learning style.

cambridge coaching - medical school, mba and business, law school, graduate, college academics, high school and college process, middle school and high school admissions

preply - language tutoring. affordable!

revolutionprep - math, science, english, history, computer science (ap, html/css, java, python c++), foreign languages (german, korean, french, italian, spanish, japanese, chinese, esl)

varsity tutors - k-5 subjects, ap, test prep, languages, math, science & engineering, coding, homeschool, college essays, essay editing, etc

chegg - biology, business, engineering/computer science, math, homework help, textbook support, rent and buying books

learn to be - k-12 subjects

for languages

lingq - app. created by steve kaufmann, a polygot (fluent in 20+ languages) an amazing language learning platform that compiles content in 20+ languages like podcasts, graded readers, story times, vlogs, radio, books, the feature to put in your own books! immersion, comprehensible input.

flexiclasses - option to study abroad, resources to learn, mandarin, cantonese, japanese, vietnamese, korean, italian, russian, taiwanese hokkien, shanghainese.

fluentin3months - bootcamp, consultation available, languages: spanish, french, korean, german, chinese, japanese, russian, italian.

fluenz - spanish immersion both online and in person - intensive.

pimsleur - not tutoring** online learning using apps and their method. up to 50 languages, free trial available.

incase time has passed since i last posted this, check on the original post (not the reblogs) to see if i updated link or added new resources. i think i want to add laguage resources at some point too but until then, happy learning!!

[olderthannetfic]

Actual hot take re: Pride flags - we don't need them. They're stupid. The entire point of the LGBT+ rights movement was to be seen as normal. We don't need a thousand flags and labels to try and proclaim ourselves abnormal. We didn't get our rights through being freaks, we did it by getting our shit together. Just be normal. Put down the rainbow flags and the three stripe flags and the flags with half a dozen stripes, log off the internet, and just do normal shit for one singular day. Then you'll realize how stupid this whole thing is. You don't need to run around proclaiming with shirts and flags and shit what your sexuality is. This shit makes the cishets laugh at us and it's embarrassing, especially in people who are adults. I am begging you, people, please grow up.

--

To be seen as normal?

Was it, anon?

If you're older than about 12, you should be aware that this is a major point of contention in queer activism.

In fact, throwing your non-marrying, non-reproducing, non-assimilating peers under the bus is not the acme of activism you seem to think it is. All activist movements, whether queer or feminist or ethnic, have to face this dilemma:

How much of ourselves do we carve off in the pursuit of mainstream acceptance?

--

The only person who doesn't know this is a child.

[pro-sipper]

I understand that we should just block content we don't wanna see, but I still think things like proships or ships that are wrong and illegal in irl should be kept private. Because that is exposing kids to the romantization of abuse, incest, and pedophilia. This content may expose them to predators, which could cause them harmful trauma, the type that people claim to use proshipping for. They may think that a person older than them liking a kid is ok, even though the adult has bad intentions. We know that they are fictional characters, but they represent real people and can still affect kids. And if this isn't supposed to affect them irl, why do so many groomers show proship media and illegal art to grow kids?

Don't want to start anything just curious

I think the short version of the argument is basically "the internet shouldn't have to be a 100% sanitized and safe space for children". But getting further into it...

"but I still think things like proships or ships that are wrong and illegal in irl should be kept private."

It's not worth mentioning now but "proships" aren't a thing. Proship doesn't stand for problematic ship, it's not an adjective.

My question is why this line of thinking only applies to ships? Murder and cannibalism are also illegal, but no one's going around saying you should keep your love of horror to yourself, or only watch R rated movies in the privacy of your own home.

"Because that is exposing kids to the romantization of abuse, incest, and pedophilia."

The majority of people interacting with media like this, or making posts about this, DO NOT want kids interacting with their content! They slap every rating, warning label, and trigger tag under the sun onto their work to say that it is not for kids. At the end of the day, that's all you can do. It is not one random proshipper's job to shelter every single child in the world.

Furthermore, kids are exposed to that crap from plenty of other places besides randos on tumblr. Walking into a library or turning on a television can easily expose kids to these topics just as much as going onto ao3 or opening tumblr could. That doesn't mean every professional author or tv writer on earth needs to create art that's palatable for children. Because that's not their responsibility.

"This content may expose them to predators"

It's grim to say, but literally anything on earth could potentially expose a child to a predator. Getting on the bus, going to the park, going to school, going to church, going to a friend's house, going home. Honestly I think it's a bit of a privileged mindset to think that a child would be 100% safe in this world if it weren't for faceless boogeymen online committing the sin of writing dark fic of their Blorbos.

"which could cause them harmful trauma,"

Again, that trauma could come from anywhere. And you're putting the weight of preventing that onto random strangers online, not anyone who's concretely in the hypothetical child's life, or actually responsible for them

"the type that people claim to use proshipping for"

Appreciate the subtleties of invalidating other people's trauma. Just because you don't have the same coping mechanisms doesn't mean theirs are invalid. Especially when countless licensed therapists agree that writing is one of the better ways you can help process trauma.

And to state the obvious, you don't need to have trauma to be a proshipper. Not everyone uses dark content for self reflection, some people just think it's neat.

"They may think that a person older than them liking a kid is ok, even though the adult has bad intentions."

A kid should not be getting 100%, or even most of their life lessons from fictional media. Parents, guardians, teachers, and other trusted adults in a child's life are the ones who need to teach them right from wrong, and how to protect themselves. I remember being a kid and being told by my mom "now if a stranger pulls up to you and says they lost their puppy and they'll give you candy if you help them look for it, do NOT go with them". That was her job as a parent.

Now I know that sadly, not every child has that kind of trusted adult in their life. But it's not the responsibility of a bunch of fanfic authors on tumblr to fill in the gaps.

"We know that they are fictional characters, but they represent real people and can still affect kids."

It doesn't matter how closely or loosely fiction depicts our reality, it's still just fiction at the end of the day. Movies have been using the whole "Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental" disclaimer for almost as long as there have been movies.

"And if this isn't supposed to affect them irl, why do so many groomers show proship media and illegal art to grow kids?"

One, art is not illegal. Unless you get caught graffiti-ing, then you might get fined. And no one is saying this kind of thing can't affect a child. But why, in this scenario, are you putting the blame on fanfic authors and fanartists before putting the blame on the actual groomer??

And again I ask, what exactly is "proship media" anyway? I'm guessing the kind of stuff that constantly appears on people's DNI lists, which could be anything from Steven Universe to Cannibal Holocaust, so who really knows??

Like I said in the short version, the internet should not have to be sanitized for the sake of the children. The entire internet does not need to be one giant safe space for kids. Adults have a right to talk about adult things with other adults. To explore dark topics in fiction, or to have fun with taboos in a harmless way.

I want the world to be safe for kids too. But the way to do that isn't to forbid adults from posting shit online. Instead of trying to shield children from every controversial, difficult, or uncomfortable topic under the sun, give them the tools they need to learn how to process these things.

Be a safe person to talk to if a kid has a question. Help them understand why something might be okay in a fantasy setting, but it's not something that should carry over into real life (like, a fairy tale prince kissing an sleeping princess to break a curse is fine, but in real life where there's no magic you should always make sure someone is okay with it before kissing them. Something like that)

Teach them internet safety, above all else. When I was a kid, you didn't give out any personal info. Nowadays kids have no qualms about giving out their full name, age, list of phobias and disorders, showing their school, their house - the list goes on.

Honestly, I think we need to go back to scaring kids with Stranger Danger, at least a little. But that's starting to veer into a different topic and I think I've said all I need to say about this one today.

[hillbillyoracle]

You Should Get A Radio

I want to convince you to get a radio. It can be a pretty cheap one - you can sometimes thrift them even - just something to listen to the music and shows that are literally streaming completely for free all around you right this very moment.

Libraries get a lot of love - deservedly so. They are such a frugal resource for entertainment and the community at large. I would argue that radio is very similar.

Find New Music

Radio can introduce you to music you never would have run across otherwise. Spotify and the like have a goal of getting you to listen for as long as possible. This incentivizes the alorgithm picking your music recs to stay very safely within your known listening profile. But since a radio station is broadcasting to a large number of people, not you individually, you're more likely to run into music you personally wouldn't have picked but actually enjoy.

Not to mention that if you're in the US at least, you're very likely within range of a public broadcasting station which not only has local and national news, but various music shows as well - World Cafe is a treasure. College radio stations, if you have one nearby by, can be hit or miss, but in general, it is a great way to find local and very niche music you wouldn't hear played anywhere else. If you're in a city, you very likely have a couple of hyperlocal low power FM stations - many who serve communities who don't speak English and who have their own unique music programming. I also enjoy a lot of the adult contemporary and "oldies" stations I can get near me.

The Ads Aren't Targeted

On most stations, you'll hear some ads. Some stations you'll hear more than a few. But none of those ads are based on an ever growing mass of information being collected about you and your listening habits to decide what specific ad you're most likely to actually act on. They're just...an ad. When you turn it off, it can't follow you around until you actually buy it.

Also, if you're listening to local stations, a lot of the ads are for local businesses in your community; places owned by your neighbors and the people you live with. For me, it's been a nice way to be reminded of what places exist in my community since I usually go to my regular haunts and nothing else.

Frugal and Fun

Radios can be pretty cheap. I see them in thrift stores pretty regularly around here and you might be able to try Marketplace for one. Mine was a birthday gift and I paid a little more to upgrade the antena later. Mine uses rechargeable batteries but I think they make ones that are just straight up rechargeable now.

Since I can't control the music, I'm not turning to it to skip through music or pick a different playlist or look up a given artist I want to hear because I just remembered they existed. I'm more present, whether I'm just listening to the show or pairing it with something else (recently it's been knitting or solitaire games).

Similar to the way that libraries can be one way you decrease your reliance on subscription culture, radio is another. Especially for public broadcasting stations, the programming is always changing, there are new shows every week, and there are often ways for you to get involved. It's another form of entertainment that often gets overlooked.

It's Screen Free

Not much to say here. It's just a big plus to me. I'm trying to take more breaks from screens and make the time I do spend on screens less addictive. I like that I can throw on a radio station and listen to a show without ever having to resist the urge to check email or something.

Vital in Emergencies

Have you thought of how you'd get information during an emergency if the internet goes out? Radio is a great option and still regularly saves lives. In the event of emergencies, local radio stations are often some of the very first people to get information on where shelters are being set up, where resoruces are being distributed, and how to stay safe through the course of the event. Depending on the event, emergency managers will actually bring in radio equipment to keep broadcasting going if there's been damage to a tower and even set up temporary/mobile station up to get the word out if there's not a local station they can partner with.

On days when the weather isn't looking so great, I often have the weather band radio turned on so I can get the latest NWS forecasts and hear when a watch is issued - phones usually only get warnings unless you go out of your way to sign up for more. And out where I live, I usually don't even get those since cell signal is spotty.

It's a great investment in your safety that you can also enjoy whenever.

Conclusion

Buy a radio. Especially if you're looking to get away from subscriptions and cut costs. You can own your radio - you can't own Spotify. It's also just something I think everyone should have since it's such a vital resource in emergencies.

ETA: I am a young millinial. I grew up with radio and remember a time before the internet so I'm not saying any of this as if I'm discovering it. It's more I've been not only enjoying it a lot lately but reminded that a lot of people aren't aware of everything it offers so I wanted to share that in case it was news to anyone.

[porcelain-gal]

NOT-SO-SMALL RANT ABOUT THE SHIFTING COMMUNITY this has been pissing me off for some time now so i'm going to yap about it and if you don't agree w/ me, feel free to block me! also please note that this is just a general rant and isn't targeted at any specific individual(s) because i've been seeing this on here and in other shifting communities.

this is going to be the laaaast time i talk about this because i don't want to be know for complaining all the time anymore LMAOAO! anyways allow me to start by saying this. if what someone's doing in regards to shifting isn't harmful, bigoted, racially insensitive, or truly problematic and it doesn't affect you, stop being an annoying piece of shit and judging people for what they do with the realities they shift to ESPECIALLY if you can't handle/don't like it being done to you. you do not get to judge and dictate what people do in their lives, who they shift for, why they shift, what wording they use in terms of shifting, nothing.

YOU DON'T GET A SAY IN THE HARMLESS SHIT SOMEONE ELSE DOES IN THEIR LIFE JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE IT.

and yes i get that there's certain stuff that's just based off of morality and culture and history, i'm not talking about that because i too am personally very sensitive about that stuff for reasons of my own. i'm talking about some of you who judge shifters for wanting to shift to have consensual sex with legal adults as a legal adult in that reality. or some of you who judge people for having multiple partners because you just can't seem to wrap your head around it or simply choose to be ignorant. or some of you who even judge people because they script that they get attention and that they're smart and pretty. because think about it.

what does any of that have to do with you?

you act like YOU'RE gonna be the one living their life when you're not. many of you judge people for shit and you don't even know how they perceive it yet you're too close-minded to even think outside of your own head and consider their thought process. many of you seem to forget that you are shaming someone's entire lives for miniscule shit. like these are their LIVES. and not to mention, many of you claim that "don't mean to judge" but just because you say that you're not judging doesn't mean that you're not being judgmental. the shit you say can still be offensive or demotivating or just straight up bigoted/prejudice to the people you're talking about when you could've just kept it to yourself.

imagine if a straight person came online and said that they didn't like when queer people spoke about their queer experiences/partners/whatever because it made them uncomfortable and they couldn't relate but "they aren't judging, they just don't agree with it?" you see how fucked that sounds? well you probably don't because you're doing the exact same thing just in a different community about different shit, all of which ain't got nothing to do with you.

how would you feel if someone on this app started bashing you for who you shift for and saying that shifting for this person was so stupid and going into detail about how fucking lame you are? you wouldn't like it right? because that's your partner and you love them, right? so why the fuck do you think you can do that to other people? seriously, it's starting to get very fucking ridiculous.

please just think before you start judging people for harmless shit because they might turn around and do the same shit to you or call you out for not minding your own business and now you're all offended and getting flamed for being an asshole. and if you truly just need to talk shit about someone's life, maybe get some friends who share your values and talk privately instead of putting everything on the internet. now go shift! <3

SINCERELY, A Serial Yapper with A Lot To Say

[psychoticallytrans]

This post is specifically meant to help kids and emerging adults that were not taught what you might not want to share online.

The purpose of not sharing personal information is to make it more difficult to connect up information about you, and especially to make it difficult to connect the "you" online to the "you" offline. The reasons one may want to do this range from maintaining safe relationships outside of an abusive relationship, to making it harder to put together enough information to break into their bank account, to being actively concerned about doxxing and swatting.

For any of these reasons, if you're not completely sure you will be fine having that information on the internet indefinitely, it's best not to share it in the first place. The internet is full of turmoil, but we all know that some posts never die, and that others are archived.

Here's some information that is generally considered a bad idea to share publicly or privately online, with the exception of applying for jobs or working with online financial and legal systems, and some strong alternatives.

Your full legal name, or any particularly distinctive part of your legal name. My first name has less than six hundred people with it in the States. I use a nickname on this blog for a reason. Nicknames are a great alternative to legal names.

Your birthday, especially if you also share your exact age. That allows for people to look for you based on your exact birth date, which is a very powerful piece of information. Unlike your legal name, there's no way I know of to change it. Consider not sharing this at all. For age, "minor" or "adult" are all the information a reasonable person should need.

Your precise location. Big cities, like Tokyo, New York City, or London, have a high enough population to act as a bit of a smokescreen, but as a rule of thumb, stick to stating a local with at least a million people in it. I often just use my time zone, since it's the main thing people need to know online.

There's other information that is questionable to share openly online, particularly your personal phone number and email, but those are the three big pieces of information that it's generally not a good idea to share either publicly or privately. This is because they can be plugged into background checkers and other databases to try to find you offline. The more information you share, the more someone can narrow down who you are. If that is something you are concerned about, consider following these guidelines about what not to share.

I encourage people to add onto and spread around this post.