#ESPECIALLY IF U LISTEN TO WOKE UP AND THEN THAT BACK 2 BACK

[realnielsbohr]

listening to im just your problem knowing bubblegum and marceline had a nasty breakup makes me a little crazy in the head

[bqu1nns]

hello!!! my apologies i know someone requested a q fic that i posted an hour ago BUT i deleted it, not knowing that it would delete the inbox request (im dumb) BUT ITS HERE!!! whoever u are, this is for u lol!

the perspective of where i wrote this from is that you're sal’s youngest sister (maybe 6-7 years younger than him BUT you aren't a minor to brian dont worry!!!!) but he would've never ever imagined you and brian, his best friend, to ever hook up with one another. if he ever found out, he’d probably never talk to either one of you guys ever again. also this is set in 2008 maybe ?? peak tenderloins era. i think … 

brian quinn ☠︎︎ daddy’s girl

1376 words ♡

you awoke from the sound of your doorbell ringing at an ungodly hour. 2:37 am read your clock in bright and blaring red lighting. it made you jump slightly but nonetheless, you took some time to orient yourself, your heart already racing from the sudden interruption. lazily, you got up and started to question… who the HELL could that even be at my door at this hour?

you didn't know anyone that would come up unannounced, hell, your apartment complex wasn't the kind of building to let in strangers to show up, especially in the middle of the night. you grabbed a spare hoodie (brian's hoodie…) throwing it over your tank top as you padded towards the door. 

then, all of a sudden, came a knock. three sharp taps, followed by a familiar, deep voice — one that you could always hear in the back of your mind.

“it’s me. baby please, open up”.

brian fucking quinn.

what was he doing here and why must it be at 2:40 in the morning? you unlock the door, opening it just enough to see him standing there, illuminated by the orange glow of your apartment's hallway. he looked… disheveled. like he woke up on the wrong side of his bed (he did). his hair was messy, like he’d been running it through his hands over and over, black hoodie with a jacket hanging open over it. 

but it was his face that really made you take a second look. his eyes – those stupid, downturnt eyes that were too expressive for his own good– were tired and red-rimmed, as if he hadn't slept for a day or two. 

something stinged in your heart but you broke the silence, “brian?”, you whispered softly, your voice still riddled with sleep and confusion. “what are you doing here?”. 

he let out a shaky breath, putting his hands in his pockets as he looked at you through the crack of the door, “m’sorry angel”, he spoke, low and rough. “i… i know it's late and you should probably be sleeping but i couldnt… i didn't know where else to go except here”. 

in that moment, you swung the door open, letting him in. he hesitated for a second, like he wasn't too sure if he should step inside but as he did, you caught the faint smell of his cologne, familiar and homely in a way that made your chest ache for him. 

“i couldn't stop thinking about you hon”, he said, words almost feeling too frantic and rushed, as if they’d been bottled in for too long. “every time i try to do the right thing and just stay away, it just… it never fuckin’ works. it never works and i never want it to work. but tonight, i just– i couldn't stay away. not in a million years”.

he seemed like he was on the verge of falling apart if you hadn't caught the tears gathering in his eyes. it was too much to take.

“ya think it's easy for me?”, he continued, voice breaking slightly. “i hate sneaking around to see you. i.. we cant even go on dates together and i just hate lying to sal. i hate feeling like im ruining everything. but not seeing you? pretending like you dont matter to me? pretending that the thing that we have is nothing? baby, that's worse. that's so much worse”.

“brian…” you start, but he shakes his head, stepping closer to you. 

“no”, he cuts you off gently. “just…please listen”, his hand at your hip, his thumb tracing a slow pattern against your skin. 

“you're so stubborn, you know that?”, he murmured, his voice soft. “you act like you don't want all this. like you don't need me or that you're fine keeping this… whatever this is… a complete secret. but trust me, i can see right through you baby”.

your breath hitches as he drags his thumb across your bottom lip, his gaze following the movement as if he was trying to memorize every second of it. “every time i touch you”, his voice deep, “you melt. you let me in, even though you're so scared of what might happen if someone found out. but right now? right now, it's just you and me”. 

it’s like you're under his spell. 

“still scared, baby?”, he asked, leaning down just enough that his lips were merely a breath away from yours. 

“no. no i’m not”, you whisper. you tried to sound confident but the tremble in your voice gave it away.

“but brian we shouldn't—”.

“i don’t care”, he says, voice making your heart ache. “you've been driving me insane, baby. do you even know how hard it is to hold back whenever i see you?”.

his lips find your neck, pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses all over your skin, each one making it more and more difficult to think. “let me take care of you baby. just tonight. no one has to know, i swear”.

you knew you had to stop this that there were a billion reasons why this was a horrible idea but when his hands gripped your waist and his teeth grazed the sensitive spot on the right side of your neck, every reason just went away. 

your breath hitched, the air between you both feeling impossibly warm. his soft touch was just enough to make you whimper, his hands leading you to the bedroom like he was afraid you might slip away from him forever.

“you don't know how long i've been waiting for this, bri”, you murmured against his skin. “to have you like this— i've been thinking about it for so long and it just seemed impossible..”

“brian..” you managed to whisper, your voice shaky as he got into your bed. you begin to curl his hair with your fingers as he's on top of you. you tug him back up to kiss you but this time, it was so much more slower and deeper, his tongue teasing yours as he kissed you like he had all the time in the world.

“i love the way you say my name”, he said, soft and low. his fingers trailed your body up and down, leaving goosebumps in its wake. he leaned down and slid his hand between your thighs, his fingers teasing your slick folds. you gasped, your hips lifting off of the bed as you sought more of his touch. he wanted it too, slipping one finger inside of you, then two, curling them just right to hit that spot that made you see stars. 

you moaned, your head falling back against a pile of pillows as he worked quicker and quicker. his rings brushed against your inner thighs, the cold metal being a total opposite to the heat of his skin. each thrust sent shivers racing down your body. his fingers stretched you out deliciously, making you arch your back, pressing your hips against his hand 

he rubbed tight circles around your clit with his thumb, plunging it deeper than you ever felt before. the rough texture of his skin and the coolness of his rings made a maddening combination of sensations. your juices flowed freely, coating his fingers while making obscene wet sounds as he worked harder and harder towards your orgasm. 

“look at you, so desperate for my touch”, he growled, breathing heavily. “your pretty little pussy’s grippin’ my fingers so tightly, like she doesn't want to let them go”, he chuckles. 

he curled his fingers rougher inside you, hitting that perfect spot that made your toes curl and your vision blur. at the same time, he pinched your clit between his thumb and forefinger, the cold metal of his rings making you scream out in pleasure. 

you cried out, your inner walls clenching around his fingers as wave after wave of pure ecstasy washed over you. he helped you work through your climax, fingers never stopping until you collapsed back onto the bed, spent and trembling. 

he pulled out his fingers, bringing them to his lips and sucking them clean, “fuck, baby, you taste better than i remembered. i could finger this sweet pussy all night long”. 

and you let him show you how good he could make you feel. 

[chuplayswithfire]

I have more thoughts on how and why the sex was a mistake. I will be thinking about this all week. All year.

Let's start with: the sex was consensual, they both wanted it, and that does not change that it was the wrong decision for their relationship in that moment. They should not have had sex! Ed is 100% correct and he is not running away when he says that! He is not just avoiding his feelings or getting cold feet, he is genuinely correct, and here's why:

They continue to be on different pages. They have not had a chance to talk it through. It's been like 2-3 max since Ed woke up from the Gravy Basket, and emotions are still running high. Even ignoring that they were just tortured in front of each other and that Stede killed a man right after Ed asked him not to, they were not in the same space emotionally regarding their relationship.

Fir one thing: Stede did *not* get his heartbroken (prior to this). He got his romantic affirmation. Season 1 was an entire arc leading to Stede realizing he is gay, that he is in love, that he is loved in return. For him, for HIM, sex is a natural next step, and we already knew he wanted it from how he deepened their kiss in episode 5. Their relationship itself is not a source of trauma for Stede; he loves Ed and he walked away from his old life to be with him, and now he found him again, and they've agreed to do it together, figure things out, his romantic hopes are realized.

And in that moment, adding to that background informations, is that Stede also wanted to avoid all his messy feelings by being physical. He was tortured and he watched Ed and his crew be tortured, he was insulted and had to listen to Ed be insulted, and he wanted to regain control and power by killing Ned Low, and removing the threat. That's where Stede's head is.

Ed, on the other hand, did get his heart broken and while the majority of what he's working through is about his self-hatred, his dissatisfaction with his career, and his desire to find a life that feels worth living, he is also dealing with a significant amount of trust issues with his relationship with Stede, because Stede left him. He has heard from Stede that he loves him, but Ed's deepest fear is that he's unlovable, and he hasn't gotten over that, or his hurt from how things went, in the like two days it's been.

But he loves Stede, and he's attracted to him, and he wants him, so when Stede initiates and manhandles him a bit and things get hot and heavy, he consents. He's all in, carried away by the moment.

And he regrets it.

He especially wasn't ready because Ed is a planner. I know we were all joking about how they definitely weren't going to take it slow and they were going to rush through, but I do genuinely think he meant it. Ed's natural state is as a planner and tactician, everything has an angle for him and even when he wants to just be simple, he always has a bajillion factors in mind that he's juggling, so we can be sure that Ed probably did very much have thoughts about how he wanted their first time to go, and what he wanted them to do and grow into as a relationship before they had sex, and instead they got tortured, Stede killed a man, and then they fucked in the aftermath.

Not bloody optimal indeed.

Now back to Stede: he is utterly unprepared for the idea that the sex could be a mistake because to and for him it was the natural next step in their relationship. This is his romantic fantasy is the thing; he was a cool brave pirate captain who made an enemy walk the plank in defense of his crew and his boyfriend, and then Ed came to him and Stede got to sweep him off his feet and shove him against the wall, kiss him, bring him to the bed, and pointedly shut the curtains on an audience that doesn't exist, followed by a lazy morning after with breakfast in bed.

So it probably hurts extra that Ed is like that was a mistake. This is literally him living his fantasy from episode 1, Ned Low even has facial hair and is mean to him like Izzy used to be. He could ignore all the realities of that situation, because he was living his fantasy, and Ed dragged them both out of fantasyland, back to the real world, where their relationship isn't fixed 100% and sex didn't change that.

They weren't on the same page. They still aren't, because they need to talk.

[pascals-doll]

DISPO

ellie williams x reader

『••✎••』 finally, time for date night. ellie takes you out to the busy city for a beautiful dinner that turns unraveling in many different ways. | WC: 9.0K

ೀ THIS IS A SERIES | FOR ALL PARTS GO HERE

SERIES MASTERLIST

ೀ PSA I LEFT YALL ON A CLIFFHANGER SORRY 👀 PLS DONT HATE ME

ೀ HEAVY FORESHADOWING ID SAY 😭 dispo is such a masterpiece of a song like can i eat the song ?

ೀ description: MODERN AU! CONVERSATIONS ABOUT HARD TOPICS (immigration, family death, bonding over trauma), HOMOPHOBIA AT THE END! IF THIS TRIGGERS U I ADVISE U NOT TO READ!TOXIC BEHAVIOR FROM EX SUGGESTIVE CONTENT ONLY! latina!reader, heavy description of reader having bronze/tawny skintone, mentions of smoking weed, mentions of reader’s insecurities, reader speaks spanish!, bff!dina, latino parents chismiando, brief background on toxic relationship, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF, immense flirting, heavy makeout sesh, groping, no use of y/n (use of mama, bonbóm)

CHAPTER THREE

ellie made her way back to the repair lot like she had just won the lottery.

all she did was throw the plastic store-bag onto Joel’s work desk the second she got back into the garage, completely ignoring Joel.

she immediately whipped out her phone to open your contact that she had been dying to open ages ago.

“earth to ellie williams-miller!” joel semi-shouts in an attenpt tone get her attention.

ellie was too busy typing her fingers away.

gatúbela 💋

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u will be seeing me there as a customer alot more ⤶ 6:00 PM

✉️ ᴮᵉᵉᵖ..! one messageˎˊ˗

6:02 PM ⤷ i can get used 2 u as a regular ;)

ellie was cheesing at her phonescreen like a kid with their first phone.

can i call u later tonight? ⤶ 6:04 PM

6:05 PM ⤷ yess ill lyk when i get off work

get home safe ⤶ 6:06 PM

6:07 PM ⤷ ay ay captain 🫡

you both went home that night to enjoy a 3 hour phone call.

you both didn’t get any rest that night.

every morning felt like a blessed morning, especially waking up to a text from miss Ellie Williams-Miller.

you had learned her full name when you exchanged each other’s a few nights ago during your endless phone call with the inamoratà.

she was chivalrous and sweetly coltish.

she captivated you in such a manner, you never thought you could feel so whole before.

she had you smitten and you didn’t even notice.

Dina didn’t miss a single second of every moment. the way she couldn’t tear you away from your phone even during your shared daily binge of ‘Vanderpump Rules’ together.

Dina will never forgot that night you came back to Dina’s apartment from working at the convenience store. you had came through the front door, dropping your purse on the ground before screaming like bloody-murder.

Dina ran out of her room frantically to find her bestfriend capering around before twirling with her hands in the air “okay okay! just needed to get that out ma’system!” you exhale out, stopping in place like you were im the middle of a stage; performing.

you connected your excited eyes with Dina’s “are you on crack?” Dina asks you jokingly.

you chuckled “you won’t believe who just happened to walk up into store!” your question being rhetorical as your face beamed as you throw yourself onto her couch.

“i’m listening!” you spent the entire night, staying up and talking to Dina about how Ellie just managed to run into where you work.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

all of your mornings for a month now have consisted of dulcet messages from ‘green eyes’. you refer to the contact you gave her.

you would wake up and do your usual morning routine which now had one extra add-on to every part of your routine.

each moment was complimented by a graceful reminder of Ellie as you woke with a ping from your phone; knowing it was her.

she would call you while you made breakfast and ever since, she face-timed you once on accident in the middle of your morning toke; she now calls every 12 pm to smoke with you through face-time.

you both only really had time to talk as you both got busy quickly. especially since you learned that working at Joel’s car-shop is very time-consuming, ellie went on about one day.

Ellie moved to your hometown from Jackson five years ago which completely explained the country accent she carried in her voice.

she emphasized on how Joel got a job opportunity to be able to open up his own shop with his brother that had moved out here with his wife.

she told you about how moving to help him by working at the car-shop taught her a lot of patience. Ellie was very patient and percise about the things she did, it became a habit to do even outside of work.

ellie was probably also one of the greatest listeners you’ve ever met because when she listened, she understood.

she understood you.

even if it was through the phone, depicting her facial expression through a pixelated screen. ellie’s facial expressions never faltered from intentive and enthralled.

she understood the fact that when you told her you lived with your parents still.

how personally, you just couldn’t call all those times she asked as you were dying to answer.

she never pushed for questions out of you, allowing you to give her any information you chose to give her.

she just complimented you almost like it was perfect.

although she approached you with a more somewhat open-book while you reserved yourself a bit more, Ellie didn't mind it at all.

she was patient. very patient.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

you both had planned to go out together ages ago but it felt like the universe just loved to fuck with you.

the day you were supposed to go on the date with Ellie. you had spent your entire morning on Face-Time with Dina, trying to find out what to wear.

you had told your mom you were going out with a new friend you made last night. of course, latino parents cant help the chisme.

“si si, no, estoy feliz de que ella empiece a sentirse mejor después de ese chico ay,”( yea yea, no, im glad shes starting to feel better after that boy, ay)

“sí, saldrá con un amiga esta noche, está muy emocionada!” (yes, shes going out with a friend tonight, shes really excited!)

why was this bad? well because somehow-someway during all the chismiando between your family, it got to your ex’s family.

this later on resulted to him showing up to your work, trying to find you to talk fifteen minutes after you had just clocked out. you end up getting a call from your tía saying that "he needed to talk to you" which only made your heart anguish.

needless to say, the families were still in-close contact even with the messy break-up. the only reason is because you basically grew up with your bitch-ass ex.

he was your family friend for so many years, but it was so cute and innocent the little crush you had on him for years. you even went to the same schools together; both of your parents wanted you together, in a sense.

it was planned and as you got older, you began to realize.

he was your first everything.

anything you could think of, he was the one to cross it off your list. you can't say you regret it or anything because it was a love that festered for ages between the both of you. you just couldn't compare your relationship with him to much other romantic experiences.

he was all you knew.

while you all the people you knew were hooking up, experiencing different 'situationships'.

you didn't feel left out because it wasn't the 'hooking up and different talking stages'. it was the fact that the times that your ex did leave you; stating he needed a 'break' to do god knows what...

the 'men'.... if you could even call them that by the way they handled themselves. they weren't worthy, not even a moment of your time.

it was tiring and you found your eye-candy would be women, but you were too oblivious to know. you wouldn't realize the lingering stares and double-takes you would do whenever you found a woman attractive without thinking.

that being said, before time came to close of going out on that date with the woman you had growing adoration for because of how panicky you grew.

you hated breaking the news to Ellie, having to tell her family came up although you ended up calling her an hour later till midnight.

you were beyond alarmed now, knowing your ex had tried to reach you.

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regardless of all the 'bullshit' and Ellie picking up extra hours at the shop, you both finally were going on that date.

a part of you was slightly grateful for the delay, you got to be in her presence more; getting the chance to learn more about her.

you had spent the whole week preparing yourself. you didn't need any help getting ready, you were a pro in that department. you were mentally preparing yourself; preparing yourself to have a good dinner like you've never done that with someone before.

you've been on dates, but you wouldn't even pack your appetizer to go, not even getting a proper entree because you knew you would leave the table and that brainless moron before you even got your first bite in.

if we were to talk about dates with your ex, that is one thing you for sure both didn't do on dates; was talk. you would just sit there in silence enjoying the meal that you didn't have to pay for, that is one thing you will miss.

green eyes 🍀

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goodmorning stinky ⤶ 11:11 AM

✉️ ᴮᵉᵉᵖ..! one messageˎˊ˗

11:11 AM ⤷ foodmorning smelly

⤷ goodmorning** am i ur wish ☺️

corny ahh ⤶ 11:12 AM

but yes u are will u make it come true :3 ⤶

11:13 AM ⤷ u will jus have to find outt wont ya

ouu surprises u rlly tryna butter me up ⤶ 11:13 AM

11:14 AM ⤷ if u probs punched me

⤷ id lowk like it

??? 😭 shut up idiot ⤶ 11:15 AM

when shall i be ready by ma’am ? ⤶

11:15 AM ⤷ its hot when u speak like we in old times

⤷ how long do u need mama ?

ur making me blush oh my oh my ⤶ 11:17 AM

jkjk i get off work today at 2:30 ⤶

just an hour will be good :) is 4:30 okay with u ? ⤶

11:18 AM ⤷ cus of ur sarcasm i give u 15 mins 🤗

⤷ 4:30 is perfect i dont have work today so im all urs

haha hilarious ⤶ 11:19 AM

thank you for the ride :) i rlly appreciate it ⤶

11:20 AM ⤷ shhh

⤷ ofc like a real gentlewoman ‼️✂️

⤷‼️‼️*** THAT WAS NOT ON PURPOSE

⤷ im gonna kms

oh ellie baby u need a new phone or sum ⤶ 11:20 AM

but yes a real gentlewoman indeed ✂️ ⤶

i gtg :( ill ttyl green eyes ⤶

11:21 AM ⤷ ihy but lmk gorgeous

⤷ ill see u soon

💋 ⤶ 11:21 AM

“jesus! back up, you lookin’ mad scary” Dina’s voice rings through the speaker of your phone, bringing your attention back to the Face-Time you were on with her.

you let out a playful scoff as you got up from laying down on your bed "let me guess, Ellie?" Dina chimes in as she sees the way you were cheesing at your phone.

"yeah....." you let out a pleasant sigh like some toddler who finally got the ice cream they spent all day begging for.

"yeah-if you don't take your gay ass to work" Dina giggles out, mocking your tone at first "oh whatever! I'll call you later, pendeja" you giggle out with her before hanging up the phone and getting ready for work.

you swallowed the uneasy gut feeling in your stomach, putting music on before you began to put your hair up. you weren't going to let your paranoia and emotions get the best of you.

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work was longer than expected, you practically watched the clock tick with anticipation. you couldn't wait to clock out, quite literally run home, and get dolled up.

you don't remember the last time you got so euphoric over a date, the overwhelming excitement and nervousness brining your mental back getting ready for your first date ever; except you felt yourself even more overjoyed than the first.

since you were a kid, you loved dress-up. if it was one thing for certain about yourself, it was what you wanted and how you wanted it. you carried yourself in your appearance, making it your amor.

even in your most weak moments, you will admit that your look never failed to loom out. people were never ever able to tell when you were depressed or angry; masked perfectly by your bold makeup and clothing.

your outstanding clothing making up for your lack of self-assurance, never letting anyone even think for a second that you weren't full of experiences due to your confident personality.

people wouldn't be able to understand you, simply due to the fact that although you haven't lived much to find your inner identity. you knew who you who you were still in some imbalanced messy way. it didn't matter to a person at surface level because of your menacing demeanor, automatically making them nervous under your tigress gaze.

your ex began to hate it at some point as he found your vixen-self threatening to his masculinity. after two years of being together, you noticed how he began to try to control what you wear and how you did your makeup by trying to have a 'say' in what you wore.

when you never let it happen, you picked up on his automatic distance and at some point, even beginning to slut-shame you as way of insulting you.

the only reason you didn't like it was because of how you could pull anyone away from him, taking all his cheating ways away.

this feeling Ellie erupted in your soul, it was better than all your first's.

once you arrived home, walking in through the front door as you quickly greeted your parents before making your way up to your bedroom. you took your phone and sent a message to Ellie, letting her know you were home.

you immediately got to calling Dina as you began to shuffle through all the clothing in your closet. you wanted to wear something valiant but not flashy.

you began to throw out of their hanger's different assortments of bottoms, dresses, and different shirt combinations; soon your floor was covered in different clothing ideas.

"I don't want to wear something that makes her think I'm a hooker" you explain to your best friend through the phone as you showed her the past 10 different outfit options.

"girl, the options weren't even that raunchy! hmm, I say-the cheetah dress!" Dina affirms pleasantly through the phone screen. you pick up the skin-tight tube-slip dress to try it on once more.

it was covered in the cheetah print pattern, it made your body eccentricate as the dress hugged your curves and stopped at perfect mid-thigh length.

the dress brought out all your features perfectly. the print pattern complimented your tawny skin and stopped right above the chest, hugging your torso completely.

it was simple yet a statement piece.

you thought it wasn't too party-like nor too fancy while you checked yourself out in your long mirror "that's the one! pair it with a coat!" Dina cheers as you spin around for her in the camera's view for her approval.

"okay with what shoes!?" you ask you began to look for a coat to match with your dress.

Dina continued to help you put your entire outfit together. she helped you end up choosing your black platform slip mary-janes with a beige jean coat that had furry lining inside of the jacket.

you began to do your signature makeup look, your eyes never without the thick long black wing as your golden highlighter created a halo for your natural illumination from your bronze tone.

you added a muted pink blush to your face to cause the perfect hue on your cheeks before sealing your makeup look all together with your iconic cocoa lipliner, applying your lip combo.

you started looking through all your gold jewels, trying to find decide which jewelry would be perfect for this outfit. you choose these gold earrings that dangled, scattering your fingers with thick gold rings, and your neck being complimented by your golden rosario's and small shining medallions.

by the time you were ready, 4:30 rolled around in no time.

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you puffed on the joint that you hastily rolled in a way to calm your nerves before Ellie arrived, you were leaning against the bay window inside your living room as you dozed off into the front street of your house through the open window. you began to think about all the possible ways this night; alone with her could go.

just the thought alone could have shivers running up your spine as your stomach was queasy with butterflies. once you finished your joint, you seen a black car pull up to the front of your house, not even two minutes later; your phone rang out a ping.

you quickly checked yourself out once more before retouching any makeup you felt needed. you made your way to your front door, kissing your mom goodbye before walking out.

you felt and heard your heart pound against your chest with each step, you were thankful for that smoke break or else you would've been sweating right now. your body felt hot and flushed; you haven't even seen the woman yet.

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Ellie smiled at the little notification of your message from only a couple minutes ago before staying keeping an eye on your front-door.

Ellie was trying her hardest to swallow her nerves, she could only reminisce on the all the trouble she went through to even get an outfit that she thought was 'good enough'.

she made a mess of her room before just shoving it all to the side as she began to straighten her hair and throwing it up into a lazy half up-half down.

as Ellie was lost in thought, she peeped from the corner of her eye your silhouette from outside of her tinted car window get closer. Ellie wasted no time in opening her car door, stepping outside.

she left her door open as she made her way over to you.

the second Ellie's eyes fell onto you, it felt like the entire world stopped.

gorgeous wasn't even enough of a word to describe the way you looked.

you looked purely otherworldly, like you had been descended from Cleopatra herself.

Ellie was at a loss of words, your beauty completely striking the words right out her mouth as her steps haltered at the front of the passenger car-door. your prepossessing glamour completely capturing her as her eyes sparkled at you in awe.

but she wasn't the only one who was drooling.

your lip began to tingle in pain as you bit onto it, trying to stop your mouth from falling open as you shamelessly gawked at her. you didn't even notice her checking you out as you were doing the exact same thing.

Ellie was wearing a white crop top that stopped at the lower of her stomach, completely hugging her chest as the muscles of her arms flexed a bit as her hands were tugged away into the pocket of her fitted corduroy dress pants that bagged at the bottom. it was complimented by a black belt with a silver thick buckle, her semi-long crop top flowing above her dress pants perfectly.

she had an assortment of silver rings decorating her long fingers as her tattooed arms had a couple of different bracelets hugging each wrist and her infamous converse.

"oh fuck" you couldn't help but let your thoughts be audible as the light of the sunset now completely dawned on the both of you.

the way the sun sparkled onto her freckles, gleaming her green-hazel eyes while her hair was thrown up into the cutest hairstyle. Ellie was completely mesmeric, craving her completely.

your out-loud thought seemed to snap Ellie out of her own mesmerized daze. she threw you an awkward smile before opening the car-door to the passenger "just for you" Ellie slys out, trying to stop her breath from hitching.

you made her a complete mess under your gaze.

the sentence that fell from her delectable lips chimed through your ears like the melody of a song.

"why thank you" you say sweetly, your smile being slightly shy as you ducked into the passenger seat of her car as Ellie made her way back into the driver's seat.

"soo where are you taking me?"

you question once she was sat in the seat with a smile on your face "there's this fancy place-Joel recommended it t'me, it has a good selection of different cuisines." Ellie explains, her attention completely on you as her eyes can't help but continue to rake throught your body.

your heart fluttered, she really put alot of effort into this evening. it's not like you didn't think that she wasn't going to take you out somewhere nice but you just didn't think she would put so much thought by even going to ask Joel for advice.

you found is so sweet how she thought ahead and methodically by even choosing a place that didn't have a specific selection of food; not wanting to force you to eat anything you didn't like.

you were an observant person just as much as Ellie was, it was one thing that made you guys connect on a different level. you guys couldn't hide from each other as you both felt every emotion that radiated off each other.

she cared, she put everything together carefully.

"if that's not okay! we-we can go anywhere you want!" Ellie grew nervous as you stared at her, scared you weren't going to like her plans "oh! shut up Williams, i love it." you giggle out, reaching a hand over to put a finger in between her lips naturally before removing it but still slightly leaned into the atmosphere of her seat.

"you look-phew-there isn't even a word for how stunning you look" the compliment was sincere as she leaned into you more, closing the space between you two; not even thinking as she just completely soaked you in like her you were her biggest blessing.

she made you fall into putty with the flattery Ellie rushed into you "it's sexy knowing that we both smoked before this" you joke out, trying ease the overwhelming emotion fulfilling your insides as you could smell the mango cigarillo on her from the blunt she smoked earlier.

Ellie chuckles out which is only music to your ears "you look really amazing, els" your tone sheeped out as you continued the close intimacy between the both of you. the nickname fell from your lips like you had been saying it your whole life.

the tension was thick and oozing.

Ellie bit her lip in between her teeth as she couldn't help but give a big smile before looking away from your enchanting eyes.

"you ready for our date?" Ellie boosts like a little kid, it was the first time she had put so much effort into taking care and taking anyone out. she used to mainly go on cafe dates or to the movies because you barely had to talk.

this time was completely different, you were like a diamond in a sea of rocks.

Ellie felt the need to give you the best of her.

"I've never been more ready for anything."

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

you finally pulled up to the restaurant, the valet at front leading you to the reserved parking lot once the valet person handed Ellie her ticket. you insisted on paying for parking, but Ellie didn't even give you a meer second to dig into your black mini purse after making the suggestion.

"its only $20, don't worry about it" was all she said, her hand touching yours reassuringly.

you would never know it, but each extra hour Ellie picked up slaving away at black grease and car parts was going to be worth every penny spent on you; together tonight.

the car ride was beyond delightful as you and Ellie practically shared the same music taste, even putting her onto some old Spanish songs as she admired the way your voice sung each lyric; even trying to say a couple of the lyrics as you encouraged her.

"did you learn English or Spanish first?"

Ellie asked more questions about your ethnic background.

yes, she knew where your parents were from since you told her during one of the many Face-Time calls, but she wanted to know more about your personal experiences with your culture.

you thought it was sweet the blithesome demeanor she had when indulged into you every time you spoke.

you both bounced off each other, your energies working together as the natural flow of your egos meet like magnets, there was no worry about how you both looked to one another, no worries that anything you might say or do is wrong; Ellie didn't make you second-guess your own being as you didn't make Ellie over-analyze everything.

you both brought out the best and drowned out the hardest parts of the both of you.

the restaurant was located inside of a wide outside mall that had an area full of different dining places.

when Ellie parked the car in the open parking lot, she got out of the car and immediately went to open your door like the 'gentlewoman' she was.

she grabbed your hand as you put your two feet out, stepping each one down elegantly onto the outside pavement as her hand helped you up and out of her car before proceeding to shut the door closed for you.

you smoothed out your dress once you stood up as Ellie's hand rested on the small of your back comfortingly, your stomach was doing cartwheels and all types of fucking flips.

you both walked in through the front doors, close together as you are immediately greeted by the hostess.

"Hello there, good evening! do one of you have a reservation with us tonight?" the blonde woman asks as she smiles sweetly between the both of you "Yes, that'd be me. It's under 'Ellie Miller'" she replied.

you smiled at how she shorten her name which she only looked over to return sheepishly "perfect! follow me" the blonde hostess exclaims as she grabbed two menu's and began to lead you to your table.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

your table was a semi-booth, more tucked to the corner yet still in the semi-center of the extended restaurant walls.

the table was decorated with lit candles and a small-dangly chandelier above the both of you. the restaurant had fake vines all around the shelving's and ceiling. the place had a classical fairy-burrow esque to it.

the lighting was warm and dim, not overpowering the both of you at all as the rest of the restaurant blended into a shadow by the strong illumination from only the lit candles at your table, highlighting the both of you for only each other.

"I absolutely adore this place, thank you for taking me here." you were slightly awe-struck. sure, Cheesecake Factory is alright, but this wasn't just about the location.

it was how she was the one to take you here.

"I'm happy you like it, it looks better than in the pictures" Ellie jokes out as she held the menu in her hand, not even looking at it. you giggle out, playfully smacking the small of her hand.

you both began to scroll through the menu together, going over each thing as Ellie asked for your intel for anything your finger lingered on.

Ellie was also slightly becoming indecisive between the options she had her eyes on. almost naturally, you scoot closer into her, legs completed pushed up against each other, and snaking an arm around Ellie without a thought.

as you were helping her choose the waiter finally arrives.

"Hello ladies, how can i help you-" the waiter stops talking the second you both look up at him.

he was a tall man that had dreads falling down his face, concealing it slightly as you couldn't quite get a good look at his face, his tall frame and elegant work suit only in lighting's view.

you could see by the glint of the candles, the way his expression changed but his eyes weren't peeled onto the both of you. they were trained onto you.

there was this unruly tension that began to form and engulf the atmosphere.

you could feel the way his eyes glared into you, only you. you watched through the shitty lighting how his forehead creased, and his eyebrows snapped together before abruptly clearing his throat.

"So sorry! Good evening are you ready to order?" the tone wasn't the same although he excused himself, there was this dead and forced tone talking to the both of you.

you watched the way his eyes fell onto Ellie, feeling uneasy about the whole thing.

"mhm your excused, i would like the Chicken Tikka-Masala with seasoned rice. then for my girl-" Ellie tone came off as stand-offish, she wasn't oblivious to the actions of the waiter for whatever reason for his actions.

she gave you a soft smile as you began to order your dish of choice.

the waiter didn't say anything, completely noting down your order in silence as your eyed burned into him. there was something about him that itched you. not in a good way at all.

you tried to focus your vision and brain on him while trying not to alarm Ellie, it was like it was on the tip of your tongue.

he seemed familiar, he felt familiar.

your mind couldn't put a pin on it but this subconscious familiarization with him slowly begins to bubble a small anxiety inside you.

just like that, he walks away; not giving a second glance to either of you.

'if i could've only read his nametag' you thought.

"poor waiter was checking you out" Ellie teases causing you slightly giggle but you were too alarmed to give a genuine reaction.

that man was definitely not checking you out.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

Ellie was quick to make all that anxiety and harrowing thoughts vanish within the blink of your eye.

your meals were brought out to you with no problem by some polite woman, completely forgetting about the man as now all you could think about was the woman you were on this splendid date with.

the conversations were deep as you both died to know more like you were each other's favorite subjects. the both of you were so enthralled between the conversations you shared and the growing sexual tension.

you felt at such ease with her, Ellie could even help you open up about topics that you considered "hard to talk about" for the longest.

it was your very first date with her and you were already each-other's open-books.

you opened up to her more about your family. you told her about how your parents were immigrants and the second you turned 18 and your older sister was 25 and wanted to start her family; they put your childhood home under your name which is why you still lived with them.

you felt safe as you unraveled yourself. she listened to every family story, even the 'bad' ones.

you bonded over your family businesses and passion for one another's hobbies. you learned how she loved to play the guitar besides art, she also knew a lot about naturalism and camping.

you loved hearing her talk about her love for the outdoors, one of her stories being how she took a road trip with Joel once all the way to California for one of her birthday's; just so she could see the ocean.

Ellie opened up about how it was like growing up without ever getting to know her mom due to her passing.

you both didn't feel the need to hide the ugly from each other as you both indulged in it, not a single ounce of judgement or need for questioning.

you both just heard each other as your souls sang together.

you even enjoyed your meal in silence, usually hard topics could create a uneasy or awkward tone for the rest of the night but instead you both thought your meals were even more delightful.

there wasn't an ounce of awkwardness in the silence while you enjoyed your Indvidual meals; or insecurities between the two of you as you both made each other feel imperfectly perfect.

"wanna try some of mine, bombón?" the new little term of endearment fell naturally from your lips which caused the softest pink hue spread over Ellie's cheeks, barely visible.

"I don't know what that means but I love it." Ellie beams as she answers your question with the action of leaning her head closer for the spoonful of your food that you were holding on your utensil.

you giggle out as you feed her the spoonful as you take her in while she was leaned in this close to your face.

as you got closer to finishing your meals, you both reminisced about high school years. Ellie told you about how she picked up basketball which has the fault for the number of wife-beaters she owns. you told her about how you used to play volleyball. you were actually the best on the team because you were one of the only ones who knew how to do a proper carry. you only did volleyball till your senior year where Dina convinced you to join the Dance Team with her.

"oh, I need to know about those dance days!" Ellie cheered out as she gave you a playful smirk "well, where did you think I picked up those little moves from?" you leaned into her ear as you spoke lowly, your tone turning suggestive. frankly, as much as you hate to admit it. you aren't stupid to the fact that just Ellie giving you one look had your arousal, as a matter of fact, dripping.

Ellie was on the exact energetic page as you, the hazel in her eyes darken as her eyes pour into you "ah I see, I wonder what else you can show me" Ellie shamelessly flirted with you.

if both meals were done; Ellie was ready to handle the check and get you all to herself.

"depends baby, whatcha' tryna see?" your tone was laced with pure sexual insinuation as your lips brushed against her ear, causing shivers down her spine. Ellie leaned herself into you more before turning her head to be face-to-face with you; your lips brushing together.

you couldn't hear the way your hearts palpitate together in sync, only hearing each other's own individual hearts boom as you both become insatiable for each other.

"is it okay if I fix myself up in the restroom while you pay? will you meet me there?" your tone was only seductive and teasing as you took your hand to caress her lower thigh.

"go on mama, don't worry" her voice was barely above a whisper against your lips, you smile against them slightly before pecking them softly.

all she could do was watch as you. the way your ass hugged that dress as your tits perked up as you sat up, the way your bronze legs stepped away from her while you made your way to the ladies room.

Ellie eyes that were trained on your body walking away from her was obstructed by the tall waiter from before. this time he was standing closer, and Ellie got to get a better look at him.

"ready for the check?"

"yes, that would be amazing."

Ellie couldn't help but give the man a mean stare at the man as she signed off the check before placing her card into the checkbook.

he left without a word but took a double look, noticing how you werent sitting next to her.

once the check made its way back, Ellie didn't waste any time on making her way to that restroom.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

while you were in the restroom, you quickly touched up your lip combo; hoping for it only get ruined.

soon enough, Ellie walked through the restaurant bathroom door. you made eye contact with her before walking off into a stall. you shut the stall door behind you, but you didn't lock it.

of course, Ellie follows; this time actually locking the door behind her. she stalked her way closer to you as you were up against the fancy bathroom wall, shit even the stall had its own mirror.

she got closer and closer to you, only speaking up once she was face-to-face with you again.

"for someone who's never been with a girl before, you seem to know the gay agenda very well" Ellie couldn't help but joke although her face had a smirk smeared all over it.

the little sly remark that left her lips caused your cheeks to flush.

your arms wrap around Ellie's neck, pulling her closer to you "I've never been actively gay, but I should've known when I used to watch "The L word" when everyone was asleep in high school..." you grin, you were kind-of joking.

Ellie lets out a laugh "oh yeah mama, you are definitely into women." you smack her chest teasingly with a smile which she only softly grips your wrist, pulling you into her. now chest-to chest as your faces skim against each other.

♫₊˚.🎧 now playing: DISPO

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

"kiss me" it wasn't a question; it was more like a wish.

a wish you knew Ellie would grant whenever you wanted.

"your wish is my command, mama."

♫ ¿qué le habrán hecho a esa bebé? que está rebelá

no le gustaba antes prender

y ahora sin miedo quema

¿será que terminó con él? ♫

Ellie's lips waste no time in hastily meeting yours. the kiss was automatically filled with passion, finally relieving all the tension that oozed between the two of you for the whole evening; falling into the night.

Ellie's tongue swiped against the bottom of your lip softly causing you to let out a stifled whimper, she pulls away momentarily "ya'like that?" she teases, she knows you like it. she wants to hear you say it.

♫ ta dura la bebé, puesta pa ella, se le ve

que ella sabe lo que tiene

por cómo lo mueve ♫

you aren't the type to submit easily but god this time, every part of you was ready to do everything and anything she told you.

you still aren't the type to submit even as her hands raked up and down your back as her tongue loosens your lips ever-so-softly.

"mhmm" you let out threw a bit lip as your eyes hazed out as her lips continued their blissful synchronized rhythm.

"use your words" Ellie divulged.

"i-i like it when you kiss me-when y'kiss me, els" your voice fainted out as it slightly whimpered with the pecks that were being left alongside your face, down to your neck.

'when y'kiss me, els' your whimper replayed in her mind over and over again, like a broken record.

♫ salió a la disco a pasarla rico, a janguear

ahora está dispo, pero no cualquiera le da ♫

Ellies hands went from holding your back to now squeezing the thick flesh of your hips as her clothed corduroy leg came in-between your exposed legs while she leaned into you, burrowing her face into your neck.

Ellie's pecks quickly became open-mouthed kisses as she basically attacked your neck with her lips. she was determined on finding your sweet spot with each kiss she left on your neck, tainting you with her.

every single little suck and kiss from Ellie was a choked moan or luscious snivel. you couldn't help but squirm in her encaged embrace as her palms were flat against the wall, on each side of your head.

"aye milagro!" you lewdly moan out, you removed one of your arms from around Ellie's neck to cover your mouth with your hand. you could feel the smirk that took over her lips once she pulled away.

there it is.

♫¿qué tú crees, bebé?, a ver, olvídate de él

cho-cho-chócame, yo me pierdo en tu piel ♫

she attaches her lips to the nape of your neck which is where lied your sweet spot, softly sucking as you rustled your body against her.

the fabric of her corduroy pants rubbing the slightest bit against your soaked panties.

"hmm, ya'like that too?" Ellie lets out a content hum as she pulls away, continuing her teasing innuendos.

Ellie was a gentleman; she wasn't going fuck you on the first date.

but she knew to bring you otherworldly pleasure beyond just the sexual level.

"mm-yes!" your moan was rushed and hushed as you spoke against your mouth. you loved anything Ellie did to you like a drug, like you had gotten a taste of your own personal crack-cocaine.

Ellie's hands have now made their way to your ass, fondling the flesh through your tight printed dress as it began to ride up with each squirm you let out.

"tell me mama, has he kissed you here?" the question was sincere, Ellie wanted to learn about all of you.

"shut up els, please-do it again" you pleaded as the smallest pout fell upon your lips yet your cat-eyes burning into Ellie's dark and hazed out eyes.

"what did he do to you mama, makin' you fight all this pleasure? he ain't know what to do with all this, hm?" Ellie's demeanor became slightly dominant.

"what makes you think you can you handle me?" you put up a challenge as you picked up on the change, liking it.

she was right, he had never paid delectable attention to the sweet nape of your neck like she just did, but you would make Ellie earn that information.

Ellie didn't say anything, she only harshly squeezed your ass causing a dirty smile to tug your lips as you slightly spread your legs for her knee to fall into your arousal, pressing the forming heat between your legs against her clothed knee.

"believe me mama, once you're all mine. you gon'forget all about him-" she began to ramble against your skin as her lips brushed against each exposed area.

"I can't get emasculated by the fact my baby so strong, the way that body moves-" Ellie continued, squeezing your ass once more when saying "that body" as she pulls you even closer to her, completely off the bathroom wall and chest-to-chest with her.

"I'll get lost in all of your power and beauty, m'not no dumbass-i'll be your throne." Ellie devoted herself to you.

"and exactly for all that, our time will be a lot more special than this restaurant bathroom" Ellie finishes, leaving one last peck on your neck and shoulder before leaning back up to meet your lips with hers.

your heart was overpouring as she fixed your dress for you and even began to carry your mini purse for you.

you think you just fell in love, no. you know you just fell in love.

༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻ ༺ ♱ ༻

you were both making your way out of the ladies' restroom 20 minutes later, hand in hand.

as you both were making your way to the front of the restaurant doors, you caught a quick glance at the male waiter from earlier which he didn't miss. you turn your head away without a second thought or care for who the man was.

Ellie reaches for the door handle, getting ready to step out.

except a voice calls out abruptly.

"excuse me!?"

you and Ellie's head snap back towards his direction. Ellie stopped herself from pulling the door open, her hand not leaving the handle.

"i wonder how he would feel if he knew his girl was a dyke"

before you knew it, you were seeing red.

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[seireitonin]

do u have E.J headcanons?

Yes! I really love him! These are gonna be very different from how most ppl see him! Ty for the ask!

Jack was almost finished with med school at 25

So he was really close to achieving his dream of being a doctor/ surgeon

He was really only friends with his roommate because he was so focused on school

He also kept in touch with his family

He was so excited for them to come out and see him graduate! They’d be so proud of him!

They worked hard to get him in that school after all!

He was also kinda shy and quiet

Not antisocial per say just quiet and work focused

Then he met Jenny

She was outgoing and sweet and invited him to hang out with her friends all the time

Jack, almost done with school anyway, figured he could use more friends

So he started hanging out with them more

But especially Jenny

They would talk and text outside the group too

Jack started developing a huge crush on her

So when she asked him out for a night out in the woods, just the 2 of them he went along with it

Then he got hit over the head and tied up

He woke up afraid surrounded by people in blue masks with tar coming from the eyes

“Hi Jack!”

Jack recognizes that sweet voice, the one he loved to hear, tainted by what was happening

“Jenny?! What’s happening?!”

“Don’t be afraid Jack! You’re our chosen one!”

“Huh?! Stop! Fucking stop!”

No one listened to Jack though

The people who he thought were his friends were about to ruin him

Take the life he loved away

They started by scooping out his eyes

They didn’t care that Jack was crying and begging for him to stop

Since they were all in med school, they were able to take his eyes out very cleanly

Still lots of pain and blood though

Then came the chanting and the tar being poured into his eye sockets

Jack screaming filled the forest but no one would come to help him

As they chanted the spell to put the demon, Chernobog, inside him he felt his body change

It was extremely painful

He screamed and writhed on the ground as he felt his teeth sharpen. His blood go black, his skin burning as it turned grey. His bones snapping and twisting as he grew a foot taller

He was a monster

And he hates it

His cultist “friends” were so satisfied

And he ripped them to shreds

Saving Jenny for last

He loved her a lot and to be betrayed like that was heartbreaking to say the least

He let out literal growls and roars of anger as he did it all

He hated killing people

But they turned him into this thing

Jack ran into the forest and violently attacked every animal he came across eating it

Crying as he did

Well crying as best as he could

Since the tar messed up his tear ducts, he can only make deep heaving noises of sadness

Jack tried to eat human food

Really he did!

He doesn’t like bloodshed and killing

He was gonna be a doctor and help people he didn’t want this

But it just tasted awful and the cravings for human flesh got stronger

He was so hungry one night he gave in, eating and killing Mitches brother and eating pieces of Mitch himself

God Jack felt disgusted with himself

When he killed Mitch’s brother he felt like an animal

So he recomposed himself and decided to use everything he learned in college with Mitch, just taking something small and simple that Jack could take easily and store even more easily

The kidneys

He still hated using these skills to harm people but at least it’s more humane

He only needs a few pieces of people to survive. No one has to die right?

He’d stitch them back up! It’s like nothing ever happened right?!

This became his routine for years

Sneak in, take what he needed, patch them up and leave

Then he came across everyone else

He related to the proxies of Slenderman the most because like him, they were being controlled by something paranormal as well

And all three of them had no say

Especially sees himself in Masky and Toby though

Masky was in college when his life was taken away from him too

Maskys friends, his life, his family all gone

Had no choice or say in what happened to him

Toby was manipulated by Slenderman into doing his bidding, just like Jack was manipulated by Jenny

They both thought they could trust the people/ entities that took everything from them

Jack was taken in because well all the creeps get hurt and they need a doctor

Jack had so many mixed feelings

One one hand he was happy that he finally got to use his skills to help instead of hurt

But the people he was helping….hurt people

Some of them willingly do it too

But it’s either this or living outside and continuing to hurt people with his own 2 hands

If he stayed and helped and asked for food in return then he wouldn’t have to collect himself anymore

So that’s what he did

Everyone brings him food from their victims and he patches them up

And he has a place to stay

Jack, despite how he looks is still very human

But he can never go back to the life he lost

He looks in the mirror and tries to cry, but he can’t even do that

Just unsettling heaving noises

He hates how he looks. It’s awful

He hates how people are scared of him

He doesn’t want to be this way

Jack is so quiet just because he’s so depressed

He wants his old life back so bad

So bad, in fact, he goes to his old family home a lot and looks at his family through the window wishing he could be in the house with them where he belongs

He’ll watch them sleep

He watches them cry over his disappearance

“I’m right here” he says quietly and starts to heave and whimper sadly as he puts his hand on the window “please, don’t cry. I’m right here”

He knows he can never face his family or society ever again

Not after everything he’s done. Not with what he is now

Jack doesn’t want to die, he thinks that would be a waste of all the organs he took

Just wants his old life back so bad

He can still see, there’s a demon inside him that makes sure of that

If Jack doesn’t eat for extended periods of time, he’ll turn all animalistic and everyone will have to hold him down and restrain him until he snaps out of it

He feels ashamed when that happens

“I’m not a monster. I’m not”

Most of the Creeps don’t judge him

They’re all killers and monsters after all

But he gets along with Jane really well

He gets along with Toby really well too, but Toby can be a lot to handle sometimes

Part of him is scared to get close everyone but he’s scared of being betrayed again

So he keeps to himself a lot

Jack can eat human food again after years of trying. It was like recovery therapy almost

It makes him feel more human when he eats it

He has nightmares about that night. The night they violated his body

He can sometimes feel everyone’s hands on him

So he’ll shower for hours and scrub trying to get the feeling of their hands off him

Then he’ll go to Jane or Toby’s room and sleep on the floor

Doesn’t want to be alone after that

Him and Toby bonded a bunch because Toby is the main one getting patched up

Jack and him talk for hours after he’s done getting patched up

Also Toby needs regular check ups(cipa)

Wants a significant other to love him despite his looks. It’ll make him feel human

Seeing Jane have a wife gives him hope for himself

Hes 6’10

Fluffy brown hair

Never takes off his mask unless he’s around Toby or Jane

He’s insecure about his face

He’s actually pretty nice, still work oriented and quiet though and really serious and blunt

Very clean. Cleans his tools, his clothes, his room, everything

Not the monster that everyone thinks he is, he’s still connected to his humanity and plans to keep it that way

[nikikikiko]

hello it is 3 am today we talk about kid’s humanity and how it is vital to him being the way he is mainly by comparing him to the other two shinigami we see in the series. if u expect a coherent structure my excuse is that it IS in fact 3 am and i just woke up from my slumber

but Kid is a character who is mainly defined by three things:

1. He has a huge amount of skill and power alone

2. It is typically overshadowed by his need for perfection

3. He is human. He is also Lord Death’s son.

now, one of these holds seemingly conflicting traits: how can Kid be human if he’s Lord Death’s son? Well, he’s not. He says as much. He’s not human and he’s very easily able to identify this fact. So, how IS he human? How can something inhuman become human?

This , listeners in my walls, has an answer that can be considered very simple:

Lord Death INTENDED for Kid to be human. He intended for humanity to become an integral part of Kid.

At the time of Lord Death’s creation, we understand that inhumanity is needed to deal with immediate threats while humanity is still trying to thrive. This is showcased to us by how Lord Death creates Asura, deals with the Witches, and overall eliminates threats. He’s quick, decisive, and seemingly without any regret. Lord Death does what is best for humanity with a stern hand because that is his purpose initially: to be a present god for humanity, to light the way. Now a god is not, and never will be, human in the ways that they need to be. Especially in Soul Eater where almost all depiction of a god or god like character have them be inhuman in some shape or form. Eibon, Excalibur, the Great Old one of Power, and even Asura have appearances that can be considered monstrous: they are not human.

Speaking of Asura, I would like to call Asura a case of incomplete humanity in the wrong era. Asura is the embodiment of Lord Death’s fears culminated into a person, he did not grow up with a childhood, he simply just was. This, as everyone knows, has had a very negative effect on Asura and led to him becoming paranoid and yearning for power. He is an incomplete human who’s not quite god in the way Lord Death or Excalibur are, but not quite human either. But since he’s not quite human, Asura easily falls into morally wrong temptations to achieve power that would take some or most people at least a few more days of contemplation, and he does so without a drop of guilt or remorse. Can you imagine the absolute betrayal Vajra must have felt in their last moments? The horror and dread? The sadness that this is who Asura is? That it only gets Worse?

Now I mentioned Asura’s incomplete humanity but what exactly does that mean? In my opinion, Asura has some mechanics of a human— the shape to be exact and the general self preservation instincts of one. But where he fails at being human is how he operates. His own paranoia and fear drove him to madness yes but he acts in a way that feels logical to HIM. He does what feels best for himself in incomprehensible wonderland noise, the same way that Lord Death does what feels best for humanity. And because they are gods, they are correct at the time even if they are wrong eventually. Asura, despite having human-esque things about him, is no different than the other gods that walk among the soul eater world.

So how does this all tie back into Kid? Well, Kid is the reverse of Asura. Kid, rather than being an incomplete human, was made to be an incomplete GOD. Intentionally so, since it was the most logical thing to do to keep another Asura from happening. Lord Death created Kid to be an heir but he didn’t want Kid to become Asura 2.0 somehow, so he figured out that reversing the way Asura operated would do the trick. Instead of creating an incomplete human, he would make an incomplete god and that is the Kid we start out with in the manga.

This allows Kid to be human and a god at the same time, allowing him to learn humanity and understand it in ways Asura and Lord Death really just /can’t/. They CAN’T understand it, they simply just aren’t able to. Kid acts emotionally, he takes logical routes yes but he’s very emotional too. He can be impulsive, reckless, everything a human is expected to be. He has a drive to protect humans not because he simply should but because he has walked among them. Kid is friends with and cherishes so many humans, he finds the good in even criminals and that, in a new age where Humanity no longer needs immediate protection of it’s present god, is necessary now.

Kid can create peaceful solutions in place where Lord Death, who can only ever ensure the survival of humanity in a direct way, cannot. He can change and react and evolve in ways Asura cannot. He is human, and the two other shinigami are not. Not to mention, Kid is extremely indulgent in smaller human behaviors: we are shown time and time again that Kid has hobbies he has put time into like skateboarding and he will not hesitate to simply engage in his hobbies, but in comparison, we’re not really shown the hobbies of the other god characters. We don’t even know what Lord Death even does for fun, even though we know what Spirit does for fun.

But Kid’s also not human, and there’s no dissonance created either in this because he simply was made to be human. He knows he’s not human, he admits as much constantly, but he’s not broken up about it. He doesn’t feel disconnected from being a shinigami or from being human, he is both and he is what he is. He is what he was made to be, and his humanity is vital to make him who he is. Without that humanity, we’d most likely be left with something similar to what Kid became under the influence of the Madness of Power: a god determined to make the world into perfect nothingness.

But uh, this is all a 3am ramble ? so. take it with grains of salt LMAOO

[kcalsforhim]

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ wednesday 1 jan 2025

༄.°

time to update once more !!! going into the year im very confident on consistency and on my promise to not binge especially not on sweets or anything grimy !

hereby i set some guidelines for myself ; i declare i wont eat unless i can physically hear my stomach grumble !! of course ill try to focus most on omad ; however, snacks and stuff like that im planning to make a thing of the past

secondly ; i want to eliminate my trigger foods most of all, i want to eliminate buying foods for myself ect

thirdly ; i won’t feel guilty throwing away food and i won’t let myself get pressured, learning to say no will be key for this year

fourth ; portion sizes and banning myself from eating after dinnertime will be crucial ^_^

lastly ; this year i want to make it a goal to slowly work back towards becoming binge free, and starting to count my calories again when im ready, preferably by the end of this month !

well, with that out of the way

i started my day today on the treadmill ! i went on a walk i think for about 80 mins or so on speed 5 i believe. this was right as i woke up basically, and it was all the way untill 2 pm when i sat down to get myself tidied up and ready for work

i went to my job and preformed as normal i’d say… everyone was very nice to me and i got lots and lots of new years wishes !!!! it was very nice and seeing people’s smiles as i wished them a happy new year first made me feel good

i asked my mom to make me some food, because by 5 pm i was feeling like actually a zombie and i knew she wouldn’t make me too much

- a container with a small bit of salmon, and a small piece of chicken made with sesame seeds and sauce. it had .. not more than 50g of noodles, but i thew half of the noodles away. also cucumbers cut in halves

- half of a protein bar, however i only ate half of what is shown, so more realistically i ate 1/4 of the protein bar

- sugar free strawberry dreams monster

food was super good !! i was kind of disappointed the noodles were there, cause i specified in my text literally that i wanted the one small piece of salmon and one piece of chicken that was leftover in the fridge with cucumbers, nothing more, but it was fine. when the guilt set in, both for the noodles, and the protein bar, i threw both out, which felt good

i went home at 10 pm on my bike and got home. i sat down on the couch with my mom and i took one chocolate coconut ball thing… it’s actually not really that chocolatey, it’s my moms healthy alternative version lol

- one healthy alternative chocolate coconut ball treat

- the rest of this diet cola

oh i know i absolutely didn’t need this but im trying every day to crack down less and less and tbh i caught myself reaching for a second one of these before stopping myself, which is ok. the cola was good i took it upstairs with me lol.

i couldn’t sleep all night, i think i stayed up drawing till 2:30-3:00 am and then after that i kind of watched stuff, rolled around, ect ect, till about 4 am

my song rec for today, i’ve been listening to a lot of upbeat music, i don’t know why, and i’ve been recommending alot of it too, so here’s a more relax one

༄.°

𓏲.ೃ࿔❀˙˖ ｡ stats for today

streak ; 1 day binge free !

steps ; 15.5 k (apple watch died partway through shift)

im pretty happy with the steps of today ! i wish my apple watch didn’t die tho.. i could’ve possibly gotten more. i leave my phone on the counter at work, so who knows how many steps didnt get recorded… sniffle sniffle…

༄.°

[reluctanttrabbit]

HERE :)

vanessa goes and also smuggles Freddy to one of Gregory's soccer games

vanessa or gregory has a nightmare and the other is there for them

vanessa had a bad day yesterday and Gregory with the help of freddys head attempts to make her breakfast in bed the next morning

vanessa and Freddy help Gregory out when he gets freaked out about his amnesia again

tony ellis and Gregory hang at the fazcade but it drags back old memories

HOPE I HELPED YOU OUT A BIT VANNY✌

YAY THESE R SO CUTE AUGHHHH thank you... for saving me! i was so thirsty!!! /ref

will definitely do more of these prompts buttttt i want to go to bed lmao so this is all u get for now :3 idk idk let me know if you want me to tag you when i update this!!

2.

Fluttering in and out of consciousness, a very comfortable Vanessa hears commotion from somewhere inside the apartment.

Her eyes were heavier than Freddy's head, and her mountain of blankets weighed her down. Why was she awake, again?

I think.... I heard something. Maybe it was Gregory.

That works like a charm. She can slowly feel herself gain more energy to shift out of bed and sit up. Nail polish and clutter fall off of her side table as she reaches for her phone. Vanessa groans.

Fine, I can just walk without a light. I should know where all my furniture is from memory.

Her feet immediately catch on a pile of laundry she'd been neglecting. "Shit," she whispers as she hops until she regains balance. Vanessa steps more carefully this time, successfully feeling for the door frame and switching the light on.

There's a faint.. sniffing kind of noise. Then it goes quiet.

"..Ness?"

Her heart beats faster as she jogs to Gregory's room, feeling for the walls. It's right at the end of the hall.

Gregory's 'room' (a room she once used for art and sewing crafting, now containing just a makeshift bed and spare furniture) was pitch black; save for Freddy charging on the desk beside his bed. The beam of his eyes allowed her to see just half of Gregory's face.

"Are you okay? Did anything happen?" she runs a hand through her untamed bedhead.

"Oh. Um, I just heard.. you walking around, so I wanted to make sure, uh, it was you. I'm a light sleeper, sorry." Vanessa noticed how Gregory sniffed in between some of his words. Her limited view of him appeared as if he was on edge. Scared.

"..You sure?"

He fidgets with his sweater sleeves.

"Yeah."

It had only been a week since Vanessa took in this stubborn, brave, creative kid. After five days of going through hell together in that mega mall. A hell that she took part in, god, maybe even orchestrated--

That wasn't me. It was never me. I got him out. We're safe.

She couldn't blame him for being so guarded. Especially towards her.

Ness leans on his doorframe. "Look, I um.." she pauses, unsure of where shes going with this.

"I would never want to discount how brave you are. You have ten times the courage I did at your age. But that doesn't mean... you're never scared."

Isn't that kind of contradictory?? She thinks. Gregory's eyebrows furrow; he's just as lost as Vanessa.

"Okay, I'm really sleep deprived. Crap." she mumbles. "What I mean to say is that I don't want you to be scared of being scared. You can.. talk to me about nightmares and stuff. You don't have to push down your fears anymore."

He doesn't respond, looking at the wall for a bit. Vanessa fidgets with her hair.

"It was about the animatronics," Gregory breathes out. "but y- Vanny wasn't there. I don't remember.. seeing her." He motions for Vanessa to come closer. She doesn't hesitate, sitting at the edge of the mattress.

"They chased me out of the pizzaplex doors, and then we were on that hill. But Roxy dragged me back and then I was in some kind of.. mirror maze? It was on fire, and I had to get low to the ground."

Vanessa listens intently. "But Monty started crawling after me, and he got my leg. Then they all started... Um. And then I saw that other rabbit in the mirror right before I woke up."

They both freeze.

"I don't know, the locations didn't make that much sense. But I could see every single detail of the characters. I could feel everything." His voice shakes, right before tears start to form.

Vanessa felt a pang in her heart. She had no idea whether to comfort him or let him come to that decision himself.

"...Could you stay in here for the night? Like, bring an extra mattress maybe.." he trailed off, wiping his eyes.

"Uh- of course. Yeah, I have a sleeping bag somewhere." she takes off to the hallway closet, leaving Gregory to sit and wait.

He stares into the corner of the room. Into the shadows. Something looks like it's there, but his brain knows it's nothing.

With nothing to do with his hands, he hugs one of his pillows. I wish Freddy didn't weigh a million pounds. He glances at the Glamrock Freddy plush sitting on the floor.

Gregory sighs, leaning over to grab it and fitting it into his arms.

----------

"Is this good now?" Vanessa asks, sitting up in her sleeping bag and attempting to read Gregory's face in the darkness. He nods, seemingly content and burrowing back into his blanket.

Vanessa smiles and makes herself comfortable.

"Tomorrow I could go out shopping for your room, if you want." She stares up at the ceiling, envisioning where she would go. "Maybe some glow in the dark stars? My ceiling was full of 'em when I was younger."

Gregory made a sound that seemed like "mhm." He sounded ready to fall asleep right there and then. Vanessa wondered if her being here made him feel more safe.

"Night, Nessa." he mumbled

"Night, Greg."

[ecargmura]

Solo Leveling Season 2 -Arise From The Shadows- Episode 1 Review - Red Gate

Before I start the review, I normally don’t do the“season X, Episode X” sort of thing because I like to start from where it left off. However, given that this season has a ‘Season 2’ in its title and a subtitle, so I’m going to have to use that format for this season. This is technically episode 13.

The first episode of season 2 probably starts off the day after the events of Episode 12. Jinwoo gets a haircut and goes to Jinah’s school for the parent-teacher conference. Since their mother is bedridden, Jinwoo is technically her legal guardian. Her teacher praises Jinah for being a diligent student all around and her grades are good enough to get into the medical school of her choice. However, the teacher is also concerned about her friend Han Song-yi who hasn’t been attending school as she has become an E-rank Hunter. He takes Song-yi on a mission as he’s trying to convince her to not live her life as a Hunter, so we’ll see how that goes.

The rest of the episode is the mission. However, the group gets a surprise encounter with a Red Gate—a special type of gate where dangerous creatures lurk and Hunters can only leave if they defeat the boss. The leader of the group, Kim Chul only takes a few of his guys and separates from Jinwoo, thinking the weaker members will be a liability. Sir, you are not the main character of this story.

Anyways, it was nice seeing the siblings get some screen time together. They only have each other, after all. I like how Jinwoo’s hair was messy when he woke up. It gives off the vibes that even if he looks and acts perfect, there’s still some cute quirks. Though, his new hair does look nice on him. I think Jinah still thinks of Jinwoo as the frumpy man from the beginning, so that’s why she had a hard time getting adjusting to the new and stylish brother.

The mission itself seems like a step up in difficulty from Jinwoo’s other missions up until now. The enemies are a lot more tougher. Ice elves are stealthy and ice bears look menacing. It’s definitely hard for Jinwoo to not show off his skills but in return, the others have to keep a secret. It was nice to see Jinwoo isolating himself from the group and then summoning his shadow army to get rid of the remaining bears. It’s nice to see that they’re mainly used to take down multiple enemies so that it’d be easier to leave the Red Gate faster. Though, for all the skills Kim Chul talked about regarding himself, he ran away from the Ice Elf army which makes sense because they’re tough—to be honest, running away is a solid strategy, but will it get him killed? I guess I have to find out next episode.

Then, there’s the appearance of Hwang Dongsoo. If you don’t remember, he’s the younger brother of Hwang Dongsuk, the man who tried killing Jinwoo and Jinho back around Episode 6. While he’s out to avenge his brother, the Red Gate hinders his progress. I wonder how he’ll be dealt with. Will he get his own arc?

The animation feels like an upgrade from the previous season. The way the characters move feel more fluid, especially during the shadow army scene. I also love the music and feels like it got an upgrade. The opening and ending songs are nice to listen to! You can’t go wrong with a combination of Lisa and TK from Ling Tosite Shigure for the opening and ending.

The characters remain the same from the previous season, so there aren’t that much of new additions. Han Song-yi is voiced by Miyu Tomita, who’s known for voicing characters like Riko from Made in Abyss and Momo’s friend Muko from Dandadan. Kim Chul is voiced by Chikahiro Kobayashi who you might have heard in the Fall season as the U-20 goalkeeper in Blue Lock. Park Heejin was actually shown briefly in the first season, but this is her major debut. She’s voiced by Ruriko Aoki. Aoki has a lot of roles in video games, which includes Tressa from Octopath Traveler and Marla from Bravely Default II. That’s about it for new voice actor information from me.

I think this is a good start of the continuation as a brief recap has been given out to keep viewers updated and it’s a good segue to the possibilities of Jinwoo’s quest to become the strongest. How will he get out? Let me know your thoughts on this episode!

[kinipoyo]

23.11.23

i went to sleep and woke up at the same time again </3 i really need to set up a sleep schedule because i always end up coming to college very tired. i didn't even eat until after my first lesson ended which was at 10. talking about my first lesson, i had media and since the meeting, i've already been praised for improving my behaviour so that's good ! ( ◠‿◠ )

i had another 4 hour break today and majority of my friend group was there at the same time so it was really fun ! except for one because he had his psychology lesson :( (i miss u pookie even though i saw u today, we need to continue hannibal). the 4 hour breaks on wednesday are great because we're all together then but usually the thursday ones drag on for soooo long, especially since i only really have one proper lesson on thursdays. my "lesson" at 2 is just tutor form...but it was really good this time ! form was annoying...we had to sit in a glass room (it was really warm in there so it was...i don't even want to think about it) and have a workshop about gangs ??? i don't even know..

on the bus back home, there was this guy sitting next to me and he kept on asking the other guy next to me on the other side if they can swap seats because he'll get in trouble if he sits next to girls ??? even though the distance between mine and both seats were the same because i was sitting in the back of the bus where there's 5 seats and i was in the middle. AND WHILE THEY WERE SWAPPING SEATS, BOTH OF THEM NEARLY FELL ON ME BECAUSE THEY DECIDED TO MOVE WHILE THE BUS WAS DRIVING ??? IDEK, then on the 2nd bus home, me and my best friend were shamelessly watching some little girl watching some weird tiktoks on her (?) phone ??? it looked like her mum's phone to me tbh..

when i got home, i fell asleep at 6pm and woke up at like...8:30pm ??? that nap was LETHAL, i felt like i got punched in the face after that nap. i woke up, half-conscious, STUMBLING from my room to get downstairs AND I NEARLY FELL DOWN THE STAIRS ??? madness...it's okay though because my mum ordered kfc and i had some :)

overall, my day was pretty good despite being quite chaotic, but until next time,

(i was listening to namie amuro while writing this, so here's a song of hers that i really like !)

have a nice day,

logging off - niki ♡

[yourimagines]

nick diaz x reader where nick is mad at reader so the reader spends the while day trying to cheer him up and she found out that he hated her bbf and especially her talking with him and thank u so much

Irritated

* English is not my first language I apologise

* Triggers: swearing

Y/N POV

I walked back inside. “So, she gone now. Do you want to get some take out?” I asked Nick while walking back into the house. “No.” He walked away to our room. “No? Uhh okay what do you want to eat then?” The door shut behind him, leaving me under at the staircase totally confused. ‘Okay, I’ll order some vegan curry for him.’ I walked to the kitchen and grabbed my phone, ready to order some food.

I walked up to our room. Carrying a tray with his dinner. I carefully knocked on the door. “Nick can I come in, I have some food for you?” I didn’t hear anything. “I’ll come in now.” I opens the door with my elbow as I held the tray with both of my hands. He lay down on our bed, smoking and looking at his phone. “I have your favourite, the vegan curry.” He looked up and nods. “I placed it here okay?” I placed it down on his nightstand. He wasn’t even looking anymore, just scrolling through his social media. “I leave you be, if you need me I’ll be downstairs.” I tried to kiss his head but he moved away. I smiled at him and walked away, closing the door behind me. ‘He’s angry, but I don’t know why.’ I walked back downstairs and picked up my plate and sat down on the sofa, ready to watch my favourite serie.

I heard Nick coming downstairs. He walked right past me into the kitchen, cleaning up his dishes. I paused the episode and followed him into the kitchen. “Nick it’s fine, I’ll clean it up.” I walked up to him. He drops the plate in the sink. “Fine, be my guest.” He turns around and leaves. “I have a dessert in the fridge if you want.” He ignores me and sits down in his lounge chair. “You can watch what you want, I’m done watching.” He grabbed the remote and started to zap through the channels. I clean up his plate and brought him a dessert. “I have a dessert for you.” I placed it next to him on the small coffee table. I sat down on the sofa, snuggling under my blanket. Nick was watching sum boring program about house flipping.

Nick was laying back in his chair, looking asleep. I stood up and placed my blanket carefully on him, tucking him in. I gently placed a kiss on his head. I walked to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. While I was waiting my phone went off. I sprinted to the sofa and picked it up. Looking over at Nick who had his eyes still closed.

“Hey bitch!” She yells through the phone as I quietly walked back to the kitchen

“ hey.” I whispered.

“Why are you whispering?”

“Nick fell asleep, don’t want to wake him up.” I heard her giggling.

“You guys are so cute but that’s not why I called.” I hummed and pored the tea in my cup.

“I called because……..” she started to rattling about her cousin is lying about stuff.

“B/F/N, I’m sorry my phone is like 2%, can you tell me this story an other time?”

“Yeah ofcourse, I’ll tell you this in person because I have screenshots of it.”

“Can’t wait to read them.” I rolled my eyes.

“Okay I’ll see you soon then, have a good night.”

“Thank you you too.”

I hang up and sighed. ‘She’s so exhausting sometimes.’ I walked back to the sofa and sat back down. “Let me guess, your bestie called.” Nick was looking at me with one eye open, the other one was still closed. “I’m sorry I woke you up.” He closed his eye again. “Are you angry at me?” I placed my tea down. “Don’t ignore me Nick, I know your listening.” He opens his eyes, he pulled his chair back up straight. “No I’m not angry.” “You are angry, are you angry I woke you up?” “No, I was already awake.” I crossed my arms. “Are you jealous?” “Jealous at her? No way she talks so much nonsens and shit.” “Yes she talks a lot, are you angry at me because I’m friends with her?” I raised my eyebrows. “Yes, I’m mad at you that you keep inviting her over. I don’t like her, she talks way to much and you know that I’m not comfortable with that shit, it irritates me.” I was taken back by his confession. “You don’t like her?” He shook his head. “I’m sorry she’s your best friend but I can’t deal with her, she to much.” I nodded and stood up. “Okay, that why your being so mean to me? I’ve been trying since she left to cheer you up.” I walked over to him, he reached out to me. “Your angry at me?” I shook my head. “Why because you are honest with me. No I’m not angry just a bit… disappointed I guess.” I sat down on his lap. His hands resting on my waist. I was caressing through his beard. “Did she say something to you that made you upset?” He nods. “I’m sorry Nick.” I placed my head against his shoulder, my hands resting on his chest. “Its not your fault.” He kissed my head. “I’ll won’t invited her again if your around, I won’t tell her that obviously.” “You can tell her I don’t like her, I don’t give a fuck.” I giggled. “But I do, Nick I can’t tell her, hey we can’t hang out to day because my boyfriend is at home and he hates you.” He starts to chuckle. “Why not?” I playfully slapped his chest. “Its mean, and it creates a weird atmosphere. You can’t say those things without having a discussion with that person.” “I tell people all the time I don’t like them, so what’s the different here?” “ cause I do like her, she my friend. I don’t want to have a fight between the two of you.” “But you would choose me.” I rolled my eyes at him. “Nick I would always choose you and you know it.” He smiles at me. “ I know you would.” He placed a kiss on my nose. “Are we good now?” “We are good.” I smiled at him. “Good now can I have your full attention, I missed it.” I went with my hands through his hair. “Baby you always have my attention even if I’m irritated.” I leaned forward, softly kissing him. “Good because I’ve missed you.” He squeezed my hips. “I know you did baby.” He kissed me softly back.

[hearts4farryn]

July 19, 2023

TW! ed, sa, addiction, basically dead dove don’t eat

After years of an ed, I finally find myself on Tumblr; the HOLY GRAIL of disordered people. You’d think after 3 years of therapy, several hospital trips, and multiple attempts i’d learn my lesson. At this point I think I just like wallowing in my mental illnesses. Once quarantine started, I just went spiraling down a path in the wrong direction. But this year has been the most wild point of my life. It’s funny, a couple weeks ago my step-dad asked me if I had hit rock bottom. His question didn’t sprout from just a few of my life’s mishaps though. My biological dad who lives across the United States sent my and in-depth suicide note through his Gmail; causing me to stress over him for weeks. A few months earlier I had been raped by a man in his 20’s, but he got shot 2 weeks after. Karma’s a bitch when it needs to be. And finally, the cherry on top, my parents and relatives found out my therapist was grooming me. I knew that his sexual advances towards me weren’t necessarily normal, but he has told me countless times I was “one of a kind” and he “thought about me often.” The worst part of him grooming me was people finding out. I could handle that my middle aged therapist (who was actually very cute!) found me attractive and had other plans than me just being a client to him. I didn’t mind it. Being victimized and the stress of taking legal action was a completely different topic. Thank God, my parents decided to stray away from the police. I’ve already had enough encounters with them anyway. Back to my step-dad saying I hit rock bottom, I already knew I hadn’t. Not even a week after he asked, I overdosed on my bedroom floor with Euphoria playing in the background. No fucking joke. This was also not on purpose (surprisingly) and I had been using for a long time before this. My blue leds were on too. My mom found me in my bed; grey-faced, convulsing, while my friend held back tears as she watched death almost swallow me whole. My mom dragged me to the floor, called 911, and started CPR. Mind you I was in a thong and bra during all of this. EMTS eventually arrived at my house and I woke up to lights flashing in my eyes and realizing everyone there has seen me half naked. I cried in the ambulance and apologized to the officer beside me countless times. To be honest, he was probably getting pissed and how much i was whining and the amount of “I’m so sorrys” i was throwing out there. If anyone out there has experienced addiction and thought, “oh! there’s no way that’ll happen to me! i know what i’m doing.” There is always a way. ALWAYS. Especially with hard shit. I’ve been sober since then and hope to continue, but i still haven’t processed it fully. Instead of realizing it was a very serious situation, I just giggle at the thought of it and move on. Anyways, all this crazy shit has sprouted into my life after my first heartbreak. I had been cheated on after I poured everything into a relationship. At the same time, what did I expect out of a teenage boy? I won’t go too in depth about that, it’s always the same story for everyone. Now Im about 2000 miles from home, with my childhood best friends. It’s a nice and quiet break from everything. I just kind of relive the same day and don’t have to worry about being around my triggers. These 3 weeks have been the easiest weeks to get clean. I just hope i stay clean, i honestly never know. Without a therapist, I’m just going to have to figure shit out on my own and hope I’m doing life right. This year I’ll be going into my sophomore year of high school, and I kind of can’t wait for summer to be over. But first I need to be skinny!! I want to be sickly. That’s just kind of what I’m relying on to cope right now. If anyone needs to rant in my dms they are always welcome, I am here for this community! I get it. This is my first update here, I’m not sure if anyone will read it but hi if u do! Thank you for listening!

xoxo

farryn

[keithal]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favourite five fics that you've written :)

oh hello! beloved enterprisery this is my fave game to do of all time, so thank u for this :D three things before we get into it: (1) out of respect for u, the first two will be iwtv fics, (2) most of these are my least popular works LMAO and (3) this got pretty long. sorry abt that.

hell and you: modern day devils minion w old man daniel and armand. sometimes i forget how much i like this fic and then i'll remember "i wrote a fic abt armand being daniel's sugar daddy, LOL." it's very funny to me personally. i especially love this bit i threw in:

He fills the apartment with the smell of his cologne and something underneath that it can’t quite mask. A smell like water left to stand too long or flowers left too long in a vase.

i like the idea of vampires smelling like death. i can forgive this tho bc i think in the later installments of the vc anne rice said vampires smell like mayo? which is ... well. at least much more attention-grabbing than what i did.

damn these vampires: an armandaniel fic that takes place immediately after the season finale. this fic was majorly inspired by a thought that woke me up from deep sleep. armand and daniel have history. armand (i'm guessing) blocked daniel's memories. but didn't wipe them. daniel can't access them, but they're still there. so how funny would it be if daniel was jealous of louis being w armand but has no fucking idea why.

He smokes one on his walk back to the penthouse, thinking of how he had stood there in the aftermath, staring at Rashid—Armand—hovering over them like fucking Mary Poppins, his hand interlocked with Louis’s, and—instead of doing what a Pulitzer-winning, seasoned journalist of his caliber should’ve been doing in the face of being this royally fucked over—absurdly, inexplicably, Daniel noted the position of Armand’s thumb: on top.

i make myself laugh.

keep on keeping on, dean winchester: deancas s13 au where jack is a baby. i can't actually think of a part of it that stands out without any context (which, in my opinion, is a good sign), but i can say that i enjoy this part quite a bit:

Friday morning, as they’re making their way through the sticks toward the interstate, Sam says, “Hey, guess what I bought,” and holds up a dusty Sing-A-Long CD. “Fuck no,” Dean says. “We are not listening to Metallica all the way to Sioux Falls with a baby in the back.” “He likes it! Right, Jack?” he calls over his shoulder. Jack makes an incandescent gurgling sound. “See? Kid knows any music made after 1979 sucks ass.” “Singing in early childhood is important, Dean. It helps kids with language development, memory, and emotional regulation, and it entrains their social visual behavior.” “Thanks, Spock. You’re the pride of the Federation.” “Dean.” “Dude, I’m just saying, we can entrain his social visual behavior with the classics. We don’t need that baby crap. It’s the 21st century. All we need is Zep, Cash, some AC/DC—”

i worked really hard to capture dean's voice--like, harder than i've ever worked to scrub my own voice from a piece of writing. the amount of references and sayings in this bitch? sheesh.

i'm also very happy with how the relationship btwn jack and dean developed. one person who commented made a very intelligent observation that even i hadn't realized: i made dean see himself in jack. and it makes sense, doesn't it? jack's mom died bc of the supernatural; he wasn't allowed to process this loss at all; and he was left in the care of a father who'd lost a spouse. a father whose grief made him mean and treated his son like an object (hence the "it" pronouns used in the beginning).

anyway! very happy w how it turned out :)

long live the kingslayer: an elriel mission fic. i've spoken abt it like. a million times by now. and i still love it <3 there's just so much real estate to work w when it comes to elain. she's so underdeveloped that anything u say abt her is almost always pure conjecture. it was so much fun to take a character i loved so dearly and write a story where she was never punished for being who she is.

i'm still very fond of this part in particular:

“Wait,” he said before she could leave. His voice was nearly as hesitant as his expression, flickering between uncertainty and a strange, boyish shyness that was captivating on him. He reached into his leathers—where, she couldn’t know—and pulled out a small container. “Here,” he said, placing it in her hands. She opened it. Inside was a smelly, yellow ointment. “A salve,” he explained, “for your hands.” An unnameable feeling seized her. She hadn’t thought he noticed, never dared mention it out of fear of what he’d think, and this whole time he’d been carrying this salve with him. A salve for her hands. It was a terrible idea. She knew it as soon as it came to her, but she grabbed Azriel by the ears anyway, drew him down to her height, and kissed his cheek. She felt his skin go warm, and she imagined how surprised he must look, how shy. When she pulled back, she saw that his face was indeed dark with color, avoiding her gaze. Simultaneously pleased at her reaction and embarrassed by it. He was magical, she thought, and she loved him dearly. Loved him so much that it broke her heart. “Thank you,” she said. “This will be invaluable.” Finally, a smile from him. Unable to resist it, she brushed the back of her hand over his cheek, fond, and said, “I’ll leave you to rest.”

a lot of acotar fans hate it when ppl write azriel to be soft and shy and not particularly dark at all. me, personally? i think that’s boring. azriel was born into an abusive and violent home and suffered unimaginable torture at a very young age. he developed powers meant to protect him from the horror of his daily life, and those powers made him a great spymaster/torturerer. but it's so obvious that azriel hates his position within the court. he's starved of intimacy and tenderness. he has an extremely reserved and kind nature. it's a much more meaningful to have a character like that find someone who recognizes his gentleness and desire for gentleness in him and offers it to him. those characteristics don't make him any less of a man.

god never wrote a good play in his life: a god/chuck character study written in second person. i genuinely don't know how the toxic sibling relationship btwn amara and chuck doesn't make more people absolutely fucking insane. this story is chuck-centered, obviously, but i don't think anyone realizes WHY i did that. i don't like chuck! i didn't like writing from his perspective! i did it bc all of supernatural is chuck-centered. even when it isn't quote-unquote "his" story, it's still his. the point of the whole thing is for the reader to do what chuck/the show doesn't: break out of what's being told to u! look at the other characters! namely, look at amara.

chuck tries to scrub her from the story completely. the fic is 3k long, yet chuck doesn't mention amara at ALL unless she's onscreen. and even when she is onscreen, we can't trust a fucking thing he says! as exemplified here:

Maybe that wasn’t how it happened. Maybe you and your Sister were perfectly capable of creation. It would be absurd if you weren’t. Surely it wasn’t possible that you couldn’t create anything together. If you were in harmony, that should have implied you, together, would excel at it. She was an eccentric mind, designing balls of gas and entire solar systems that resembled you, right where all your rings met. (The most terrifying thing She came up with was the collapse of a star, where it became a gaping black mouth that swallowed everything in sight. You and I, She explained, perfectly in balance.) You were far less excitable, putting all your focus into the one planet you’d claimed as your own, but as you watched Her in those moments, you privately invented jealousy. Maybe you were lying about the lying. Perhaps They did give you counsel in a lapse of generosity, and your essence catapulted as you realized you would have to choose. Or possibly that day went like every other. Maybe She never met Them, and you only met Them much later, once you had shoehorned Them into part of your story. So instead of revelations and sacrifices, your Sister told you about centripetal force as you floated, listening, your rings spinning in slow, lazy circles, and you told Her about how little you cared for all this science and math She liked so much. Where is the pathos? you asked, and She sighed much as an exasperated older Sister should, and you realized that you loved Her very much. Or maybe you didn’t.

WHY? why is that? it's because the longer she's in the story, the worse chuck looks.

amara loved chuck from beginning to fucking end. she was born loving him. she chose him, always, over and over again. and chuck knew this! he used it! he would dangle the possibility of him finally loving her back to get her to do what he wanted. and what does chuck do abt this? abt his story, the first to ever exist? he recreates it. michael & lucifer; cain & abel; dean and sam (all men, curiously). to ... what? prove that he isn't the only brother to have not loved his sibling back? that in his position, u would've done the same?

i could talk abt that fic all day. best thing i've ever written.

[sunnychuuya]

Skipping any that r personal info

3. Feb 14th

4. Aquarius

5. I like alot but pastel colors >>> and also purple

6. 3, 4 and 7

7. 2 dogs, a corgi named Clifford and a double doodle named ellie

8. MURICA🤠 (why)

9. 5ft 7 last time I checked

10. 9½

11. ..... 23. 23 pairs of shoes. It's not an addiction i swear-

12. Idk I'm pretty sure it was smth about gojo-

13. Absurd amounts of knowledge on my hyperfixations!! But watercolors and writing

14. Lmao what does this mean

15. *glances at my spotify* uh.. good.. question may I submit 3674 answers? N-no?

16. I don't have a fav I like disney movies but I recently watched suzume it was pretty good

17. someone who loves and respects me also a cosplayer cuz couples cosplay >>> (also preferably taller than me? Prolly won't happen)

18. Idk bro

19. Nah

20. Nope raised an atheist

21. Yes I think 2 times for myself then for my brother like four times

22. Nah thankfully

23. YES I used to be obsessed with descendants and I met China Anne McLain

24. Depends- for getting clean definitely showers but I love baths so much

25. No socks in bed rn

26. No

27. Maybe. It would be cool but then there is also everything else.

28. I like the music I like not rlly picky I listen to alot of kpop and jpop tho

29. No. No desire too either

30. 1-4 and a stuffie on top of the pillow

31. I contort myself horribly during my sleep and also wake up incredibly sore! I've woken up half dangling off the bed more times than I can count

32. It's a good size

33. What's breakfast? [When I remember I like breakfast burritos and my moms chocolate Banana muffins]

34. Bb guns, nerf guns, never a real gun

35. YES AND I LOVE IT SM

36. Asking a writer their favorite word? How dare you.

37. MOTHERFUCKER it's so versatile and just rolls off the tongue!

38. At least 3 days !

39. I have a bunch of little scars all around my body due to clumsiness especially on my hands just little spots

40. No sadly not

41. Yes I can be very good at manipulation too!

42. Kinda

43. It seriously depends some days I can perfectly do an accent and then the next day I sound like I'm on crack but one I'm pretty consistently able to do is a subtle British accent and a southern accent

44. Nope

45. I think alot of accents r rlly cute but especially kr accents idk why I'm pretty sure it's bc of hwang hyunjin cuz I am cringe

46. Mbti? Intp

47. I'm not 100% sure but I think one of my dresses was about 45 bucks. I get most of my stuff from yard sales bc it's simply better

48. Yes! Hot dog and w

49. Innie ofc

50. Right handed but I'm getting better with my left hand so I can have bisexual hands

51. THOSE FUCKING DEMONS ARE TERRIBLE

52. Tacos is my go to

53. Most Asian food is fucking amazing sushi especially tho

54. I feel bad for saying it again but it depends-

55. Something involving the word fuck I'm sure. Or maybe "I'm gonna kms" cuz that's healthy

56. Fuck. I'm sure of that. Its not healthy but it's meee

57. If i just woke up- 45 minutes if it's midday 10

58. I don't think so

59. Suck until it's smaller then u crunch it

60. Yes

61. Absolutely

62. Friends say I am I think I'm decent like 7/10

63. Going blind

64. For ppl I hate yeah but my besties secrets are stored in a safe

65. Bro I have a shit memory you can't ask me this fuck

66. I think both r pretty but I have thick hair that tangles easy so I like to have mine short, long hair is nice to play with though

67. Hell no!

68. Science, except for physics that shit sucks

69. Introvert

70. No it seems fun tho

71. Everything cuz I got that mental illness heh

72. A bit, i can deal with it but it makes me anxious

73. If I can do it without being rude or if it's important yes

74. No.. *sweating and backing into the corner* (yes very much so especially on my sides)

75. Nothing big but some small things I'm sure

76. Babysitting my little brother that's it

77. No

78. No

79. The first person I recognized as a crush was my bff in 2nd grade and it spiraled into a shithole that made me lose him as a friend and get made fun of the whole year

80. 2 just a basic piercing on each ear, but I'm planning on getting second piercings on each ear and a belly button piercing within the next year, and a lip ring on the right in the future

81. I CANT IT MAKES ME ANGRY HOW DO YOU DO IT

82. Very fast but not coherently

83. Not

84. Brown but I've dyed the edges purple before, which faded into a silver green and a different time blue, I wanna do red next

85. Green blue

86. The outside basically. I'm allergic to mothefucking grass. No foods tho!

87. No I am too forgetful to do that I have tried many times and failed many times

88. Dad's a therapist

89. I simply don't understand the question

90. Lowkey got anger issues so alot, but being told to respect people even if they give me none pisses me off alot

91. It's nice but basic I like the name I go by online and my real name

92. I have spent 30+ hrs on baby name sites and only half of my ocs are names

93. Girl cuz seeing my brother grow up he's fucking insane

94. My creative works

95. Used to be too trustful, now it's the opposite

96. My grandpa suggested it to my parents

97. No fucking clue

99. Pink fades to blue

100. Blue grey

it's 3 am if this is incoherent don't blame me @sciionide @nugget-child

Get To Know Me Uncomfortably Well

PLEASE DON’T LET THIS FLOP AHHHH

1. What is you middle name? 2. How old are you? 3. When is your birthday? 4. What is your zodiac sign? 5. What is your favorite color? 6. What’s your lucky number? 7. Do you have any pets? 8. Where are you from? 9. How tall are you? 10. What shoe size are you? 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 12. What was your last dream about? 13. What talents do you have? 14. Are you psychic in any way? 15. Favorite song? 16. Favorite movie? 17. Who would be your ideal partner? 18. Do you want children? 19. Do you want a church wedding? 20. Are you religious? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? 23. Have you ever met any celebrities? 24. Baths or showers? 25. What color socks are you wearing? 26. Have you ever been famous? 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? 28. What type of music do you like? 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 31. What position do you usually sleep in? 32. How big is your house? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? 34. Have you ever fired a gun? 35. Have you ever tried archery? 36. Favorite clean word? 37. Favorite swear word? 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 39. Do you have any scars? 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? 41. Are you a good liar? 42. Are you a good judge of character? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? 44. Do you have a strong accent? 45. What is your favorite accent? 46. What is your personality type? 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? 48. Can you curl your tongue? 49. Are you an innie or an outie? 50. Left or right handed? 51. Are you scared of spiders? 52. Favorite food? 53. Favorite foreign food? 54. Are you a clean or messy person? 55. Most used phrased? 56. Most used word? 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 58. Do you have much of an ego? 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? 60. Do you talk to yourself? 61. Do you sing to yourself? 62. Are you a good singer? 63. Biggest Fear? 64. Are you a gossip? 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? 66. Do you like long or short hair? 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? 68. Favorite school subject? 69. Extrovert or Introvert? 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? 71. What makes you nervous? 72. Are you scared of the dark? 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? 74. Are you ticklish? 75. Have you ever started a rumor? 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? 77. Have you ever drank underage? 78. Have you ever done drugs? 79. Who was your first real crush? 80. How many piercings do you have? 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ 82. How fast can you type? 83. How fast can you run? 84. What color is your hair? 85. What color is your eyes? 86. What are you allergic to? 87. Do you keep a journal? 88. What do your parents do? 89. Do you like your age? 90. What makes you angry? 91. Do you like your own name? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? 94. What are you strengths? 95. What are your weaknesses? 96. How did you get your name? 97. Were your ancestors royalty? 98. Do you have any scars? 99. Color of your bedspread? 100. Color of your room?

[luselih]

saw that u wrote for chubby readers and proceeded to black out

could u write a little something with the obey me brothers (if not them then just diavolo pls) and a chubby reader except they're not an "attractive shape" if that makes sense?? as in they dont rlly have a big chest or an hourglass-eqsue figure and they have more stomach or something like that instead...

<heart shaped3 || demon bros

summary/ask: mc/reader doesn’t have hourglass figure, how demon brothers would comfort you?

conntent warnings | myb just slightly suggestive in some parts but not too much said (some non sexual nudity, intimate touching and hinted lovemaking), comfort/soft, established relationship, mention of very poor self esteem and insecurities, pda, overprotectiveness, kissing/hugging, buying and sharing clothes, bathing, bullying (not by them!) + more…

a/n - #1 the way i screamed and kicked my feet while giggling you couldn’t even imagine, first ever request! <33 i hope i did justice to you and your ask anon! i will write for all of them!

#2 i make this extra fluffy, please don’t hesitate if you want to request other characters or some more suggestive content!

Lucifer, avatar of pride and one of scariest and most intimidating people in entire Devildom for a lot of people would just feel so so sad and guilty when he caught you looking at other demons and getting overwhelmed and ashamed of your own body as you two walk around shopping for some clothes in Majolish, your chubby fingers getting more fidgety with each other demon girl passing wearing clothes that fitted her like a glove, your mind wandered off as you “listened” to what he was talking about while thinking “how could he choose me?…” and other questions, that’s how he noticed your growing insecure of yourself, He wasn’t one who is most found of public display of affection since he had to uphold his prideful self, but a subtle touch on your hip with his big hand while pulling you subtly closer to him, his nose slightly touching side of your head, kissing it lightly as he whispered to you.

“I don’t want to see that look in your eyes again ever again, you are mine because i love you for who you are and your body is perfectly fine even though you think otherwise, now let’s go to another place, i don’t like it here.”

He walked out with you, his hand still resting on your skin as you continued to go through shops and buy clothes yet you could just notice how he now payed extra attention on it, picking up pieces who he thought would fit you and are in your likings, helping you dress up in changing rooms as he brushes his gloved hands over your naked skin and curves, especially your thighs and stomach as he helped you get into clothes, price tags were non existing for him in that moment, after buying whatever you desired and look and feel good he carried every bag back to house of Lamentation and comfort and pampered you in privacy of his own room and bed, remaining you why no one, not a human, sorcerer, reaper, demon or angel could ever get where you are for him in his soul, mind and heart.

Mammon, avatar of greed and one of fastest demons of all of them was not so quick to ran away from you and your insecurities when he saw your sour expression on bathroom mirror when he woke up after you that morning, the pain of being different than other was visible in your eyes as you squeezed and pushed your waist and breast out for them to look more “attractive”. He was a true tsundere and couldn’t express his feelings frankly yet he knew how much demons (like him) can be insecure and how could he let you look down on yourself like that, cmon you are his girl. He fall in love with your entire existence and you are now finding so called “mistakes” in you, he groaned as he walked behind you, resting his head on your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around your body, grumbling in your ear.

“Oii, woman don’t look at yourself like that…you are enough for a great Mammon, and you are irritating me with that expression of yours. Now just follow me!..”

Soon enough after stealing his card back from Lucifer (later he got hanged upside down but it was worth it tho <3) you two went to a beach together, indirectly worshipping your body as you two swim together and rested together on a sharing towel, he was not ashamed of you, he greedily wanted you all to himself and he was more than happy to see your smile again, both of bodies pressing together pleasantly as both of yours forehands rested against each other’s in broad daylight in ocean water, words were not spoken yet they were not even needed as his actions and eyes do all talking needed.

Leviathan, sweet little Levi, an acatar and an otaku who fells envy drastically deeper than others demons and other living creatures in endless universes, could sense your uneasiness as he watched Ruri-chan cosplayers on his computer - their snatched waist or perky breast popping from down their clothes were so obvious and visible that it made you almost feel ill, of course you tried to not look so that you were looking at it from corner of your eyes yet he noticed it right away since you were just humming at his words as you were doing some laundry in his room, you were practically living with him at his room since he didn’t like to exist it, only when he absolutely had to go out, you thought “maybe i should just eat less…” and other unpleasant things as you stood up with basket full of folded laundry, yet before you could fully stand, a sudden feeling of his tail around your waist starlet you greatly, a basket now long forgotten on floor as he pulled you into his lap, his hands on your hips as he rubbed them gently with his tail still holding you not to stood up, his entire face flushed as he buried it into your neck, yet you still can see his ears red, he kissed your neck softly as he whispered in that tsundere voice of his, he was too shy to say anything that could upset you but he genuinely tried his best to express his mind to you.

“i-I just wanted to get some ideas for a cosplay that i planned to make for you for a-a “comic con” you have in human realm, don’t worry…i just want you and my-y Ruri-chan body pillow in my bed (tub) tonight and every night after it…”

He tried to say more but sheer trembling of his voice was enough for you to see his good intentions, so you let him cradle you in his lap as you two watched more videos on making cosplays, not to say he later did make perfect Ruri-chan outfit for you that show your beautiful body in best way possible on that con 2 weeks later but he was proud of his beautiful girlfriend wearing a dress he made for you and you were happy and comfortable with it, he just might add some more dresses into your closet when you get back in his room, he liked it that much!

Satan, he is a natural over-thinker and though time in Devildom and human realms he learned to read people and other beings like open book, a sigh of you and him on your anniversary date at that prestigious museum in your hometown, majestic arts and portraits on walls of a long and spacious institution, a single look of your posture was enough for him to recognize and your uneasiness with all kinds of art in front of you, sculptures and paintings of women, mostly skinny and with “pretty” body shape and skin. As you got lost in one of the paintings, your eyes widened at his warm body pressing on your side as his hand slid around your waist pulling you closer, his words didn’t even have an ounce of anger or wrath he was avatar of, his voice soft and low with a hint of suggestive tone to it, yet his words made you all kinds of good things.

“I would say that “i want to draw you like one of french girls” from that film we watched but i think that i would prefer to make a sculpture out of you, that way other people could see what i have managed to achieve with you, to make you mine in body and mind too~…”

Needless to say that you got flustered by it, he wasn’t one to say such things in public but he knew how to make you feel comfortable about yourself, date continued in another places too after you two left a museum, back home in your 4 walls he talked about you and your insecurities, he kissed every single doubt away that night~

Asmodeus loves to after a long exhausting day to take a long bath in a tub while listening to relaxing music, especially with you. He was modeling all day long for a new brand that is just about to drop into a Devildom, beautiful designed and hand made clothes and accessories fitted him like a second skin. As per usual you were with him because all demons knew how much he was needy and down bad for you so you had to be there to make him concentrate and do his thing. You got overwhelmed with amount of praise and attention he got from just existing and showing skin and his body. You were deep in mind as you got silent while Asmo was talking about next modeling stuff he is called to do. After a while he noticed it that you weren’t answering his questions or responding to anything really, his hands made they way to your waist, making you jerk out of your thinking, his voice getting flirty and slowly towering you in a bath.

“Does my darling human feels left out?~ Don’t you worry, for next modeling session i will do with you to show you off what beautiful thing i have, now let me clear your mind~’’

His orange-yellow eyes with a hint of pink showed his lust as he kissed you deeply, barely letting you think about your insecurities more as he kissed your perfect body, every bit of it to remember you that he is a avatar of lust, he doesn’t like unsightly things and he likes himself, so he might just show you how you are a sight for sore eyes and that is what makes you even more beautiful and his.

Beelzebub can clearly see that something was going inside your head as you started giving him your food, i mean you already shared food and you give him always some extra food from your side because you order food for him and you in good amount almost always, but he is avatar of gluttony at end of the day. But he can see that you tried to change something, too soon and too quickly, he always went to gym to workout and you sometimes go with him and give him some company and good spirit to work out. You are trying to lift and workout too much, lifting things and going into machines in a (his) big sweater trying to burn whatever is in your body, sweating out like crazy and getting dizzy from everything - not eating enough food, exercising to bone and getting heat exhaustion, he followed his instincts and pulled you into his arms as you tried to lift a dumbbell from the ground but it was too heavy for you and your weak muscles making it slam into a floor loudly in now empty gym since it was late already, his strong arms holding you up by your things, both bodies drenched in sweat as he pressed his forehead against your in a silent manner, showing some kind of recognition and warmth through such a simple gesture, he said.

“I don’t know what is going on in your head right now, but please, don’t hurt yourself over it. We can go together through it, but you have to let me help you in a deepest sense of it because you are my girl and i want to make you happy and proud of yourself. Now let’s go, i am hungry for some pizza, i am sure that you are too.”

He picked up his and your workout bags and headed out of gym with you, hand in hand for some good street food after you guys showered (together) at the gym bathroom and got dressed for some late night walk and moon glazing together, you in his lap as his warm embrace melted your insecurities away as he whispered sweet nothingness in your ear with occasional kiss on skin and lips for rest of the night.

Belphegor, avatar of sloth and one who is most rebellious of them all, cheeky and cunning Belphie stayed silent for a moment while reading in messages you typed out to your friends about being “too weird shaped” for him as he was nestled into your stomach rolls in late hours of night in attic, he started long at that message before you slide into another application, something about dieting and working was written there so he groaned out loud, startleding you since he was so silent that you didn’t even knew he wake up, he (gently) pushed your phone out your hand and bring your hands to his lips and kissed your palms softly, his eyes halfway closed and voice groggy he spoke.

“You are making me sad with a way you say such things…i don’t like it at all. You better be happy that you are enough as a human pillow for me with a way you’re looking at yourself now.”

If you didn’t know him, you will thought that he was just plain mean and rude, yet he wasn’t a best one to comfort you with words and you know it, yet his actions made your heart flutter a bit, locking you in his touch for till morning and later, head between your neck and shoulders as his legs and arms were tightly wrapped around your body as he resumed his sleep with you now a bit better than before, as he said “actions are as act of forgiveness are far stronger than words”, so he would made sure to remind you why he chose someone as special as you to be with him.

+ Diavolo!

(this is as a “gift” to say so since it is a first request i got~)

Future King of the Devildom, the strongest being in the Devildom that demons are respectfully intimidated by him, he is surprisingly almost joyous most of the time, he is very good boyfriend to you (that wants to be your husband-) and he loves you very deeply. He didn’t even hesitate to punish demon students that were making fun of your appearance and your human race, “just a pitiful excuse of human that is ugly and disgusting, i mean how could even Lord Diavolo be with her???” said a demon to her friends as they were making fun of you without knowing that Diavolo was there behind them going to you. After letting Barbatos do job with troublemakers instead of him, he excused you two from and you then left for Demon Lord's Castle, his place to rest for a day as he already lend Lucifer know what happened and where you will be rest of the day, im his home with Dia. Diavolo cradled you in his arms as you sit in his lap facing him in his throne room, light was dimmed as he praised the living shit out of you and your existence, he whispered to your ear as his colossal hands rubbed your hips lovingly.

“I will make you my queen that every demon knows how much i love you. Your body is an temple and i hope it will give me heir one day, even without one i will want you forever. Don’t ever forget that, you are my queen and love of my life forever, i love you.”

He promised as he hugged you tightly, next kiss felt like a seal on that promise. Everyone will know who you are, a beautiful human being that successfully charmed his royalty with her love, kindness and generosity that human beings have that made uncrowned king fall for you. His next moves to his bed just make sure you remind you and yourself who you are to him, don’t ever forget that, but i am sure he made sure that you won’t ever forget that long night at his bed with him ;)

[floralbfs]

literally if my tears mess up my makeup i will have another thing to cry about im sick of everything