#EP finally letting go his camera

[itsallyscorner]

Coffee Talk | H.S

pairing: boyfriend!Harry x fem!reader

warnings: it’s supposed to be like a podcast episode so it’s a little long and has a lot of dialogue—just did some experimenting, lmk what you guys think :)

overview: Harry is a guest on your podcast.

a/n: Clearly, I’ve been listening/watching a lot of podcasts. I just like hearing people talk. Reader’s co-host, Mable, is inspired by Selena Gomez <3

Coffee Talk Ep. 96: (Y/n)‘s Boyfriend, Hobama, and Marriage

“Hello friends and welcome back to another episode of Coffee Talk! I’m your host, (Y/n), and I hope you are all doing well!” You waved at the camera doing your usual intro.

You did a drumroll with your hands on the table and continued, “Now, we have an exciting episode for you guys today. You have been asking—basically begging—for us to get this person on the pod and it’s finally happening today! So grab a blanket, get some snacks, and get comfortable, because this is gonna be a fun one!”

The video cuts to your co-host, Mable, who is sitting across from you on a loveseat.

“I feel like we should build the tension before we tell them who it is.” Mabel chimes in, stirring her Starbucks cup (whose label has been covered since you guys aren’t sponsored by Starbies).

“That was a really good segue for Roll Call, Mae.” You pointed out, calling her by her nickname.

“I gotchu, babe.” Mable assured you, throwing a wink in your direction. You laughed and adjusted your legs up on the couch you were on, “Right, so obviously, we have Mable across from me. How are ya, Mae? What’s the coffee order today?”

Mable smiled at you and crossed her legs, “Well since you asked so kindly. I’m doing very great this morning (y/n/n) and I have a caramel macchiato today.”

The video then cuts to Ryland who had a “bitch please” look on his face, “Mable’s only happy because she got laid last night.”

“RYLAND!” Mable screamed in shock, the video cutting to her reaction. The room erupted with laughter as she flipped him off and let empty threats stumble out of her lips at Ryland.

“YOU LITERALLY TEXTED IT IN THE GROUP CHAT!” Ryland stressed, leaning over the table to get closer to Mable. The video moved to you taking a long sip of your coffee while a familiar tattooed arm rested behind you on the couch.

“Clearly, the energy is through the roof today in the pod—we’ll probably get to Mable’s sex life in a bit.” You paused, smirking at your friend, “But back to roll call, we’ve got Ryland on cameras and sound. Ryland, how are you pookie?”

Ryland posed at the camera in front of him and waved wildly at it, “I’m doing swell stinkabutt.”

“What’s your coffee order today—actually Ryland doesn’t have coffee today, he has juice.” You explained to your listeners. Ryland held up his green juice, “Yeah, I’m on a juice cleanse everyone. Me and Sean are going to Aruba in a few weeks and I refuse to work out, so I’m drinking juice instead.”

“You look great Ry.” A voice off camera chimed in. The voice had a distinct accent that could only belong to a specific someone. Ryland smiled at the person, “Thanks Ha—wait I was just about to spoil who it was.” He immediately clasped his hand over his mouth with wide eyes.

“Y’know what, we’ve made you guys wait long enough.” You sighed before continuing, “Our guest is very special to me. He’s a recent Grammy winner, one of the biggest artists in the world, and he happens to be my boyfriend; please welcome to the pod mister Harry Styles!” You cheered, causing everyone in the room to clap. The video finally cut to Harry who was sat next you on a blush pink couch nursing a pastel yellow mug.

Harry adorable scrunched his nose and waved at you all bashfully, “Oh, stop it.”

“How does it feel to be on the pod, Harry?” You asked, turning your body towards him. Harry nodded and looked around the room, “I’m happy to be here, love, thanks f’having me. Also, I like what you’ve guys done to our shed, s’very comfy.”

“I totally forgot we were in your shed.” Ryland chuckled.

“Oh yeah, to everyone listening or watching, we’ve been filming this podcast in Harry and (Y/n)’s backyard.” Mable explained to the audience with a chuckle.

“It’s not a problem honestly, I’m glad you guys are getting some use out of it.” Harry assured you all as he glanced at the decorations around the room. There was an old school looking blush couch in the center of the room, which was across from a burnt mustard colored love seat. While the walls were painted a darker shade of matcha green with fairy lights strung along it.

Harry was seen glancing at the rug as he toed at it with his socked foot. “Where’d y’get the rug?” He asked you.

You peeked at said rug, “Your mom picked it out when she was helping me furniture shop here.” Harry’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape as he leaned back into the cushion, one of his legs crossed beneath him and the other hung off the couch.

“So Harold, what’s the coffee order today?” You motioned to his coffee. He proudly held the yellow mug up and smiled at the camera, “I’ve got my usual black coffee, courtesy of my lovely girlfriend.”

The camera panned to you hiding behind your Starbucks cup trying to hide your heated cheeks.

“And what do you have today, love?” Harry returned the question, naturally fitting into the conversation. You looked at the label on your cup, “I have my usual coffee order—H actually went out on a coffee run for me and Mable, so thank you bubs.” You answered, the corners of your mouth quirked up.

“They make me sick.” Ryland fake gagged.

“Aren’t you also in a relationship?” Mable narrowed her eyes at him. Ryland rolled his eyes at her, “Yeah, but they make me sick in a good way, like the wholesomeness is just too much.”

“What the fuck..”

Harry grinned at Ryland, “Y’gonna be fuckin’ puking by the time we’re done then.”

The camera cut to Mable smirking at you, “I find it so weird how you’re being so quiet.”

“Me?” You pointed at yourself amusingly. Harry glanced at you and visibly scooted closer to you. The sound of equipment being moved can be heard over the audio since Harry attempted to discreetly move his mic stand next to yours.

“Yes ma’am.” Mable nodded. You placed your cup on the round coffee table beside you.

“I don’t know why, but it just settled in that this is us, kind of like hard launching our relationship to the public.” You softly answered, hands fiddling with your (Harry’s) loose knitted sweater.

“But everyone knows you guys are together.” Ryland stated, confusion etched on his features. Harry rose his hand to answer. You giggled at him and nudged his arm, “You don’t need to raise your hand to speak, hun.”

“Sorry.” He shook his head.

“Don’t be.” You chuckled, allowing Harry to continue. “Everyone knows, but we haven’t been very public, y’know? We like keeping things between us. Like, this is the most public we’ve ever been.” He gestures to you guys sitting beside each other.

You chimed in jokingly, “Yeah, this is our first time sitting next to each other—like ever.”

Harry nodded along, “I’m shitting m’pants right now.” He stated, causing a few chuckles in the room.

“How much persuasion did it take for (Y/n) to get you on the pod?” Mable asked Harry, sipping her coffee. Harry’s brows furrowed as he stared at the ceiling.

“Not much. She asked and I was like—yeah, I’m down.” He answered, shrugging his shoulders for emphasis. You chuckled at him and added, “He’s forgetting the part when he admitted that he’s been waiting for me to ask him to guest star.”

“Have you really been waiting?” Ryland questioned your boyfriend. Harry’s brows raised as he exclaimed, “Yes! I bloody have! You guys literally had my sister on here before me!”

You all laughed at his slight frustration, “I swear it wasn’t on purpose!” The camera cuts to you and Harry, your hand squeezing his knee.

“Wait so did you guys meet through Harry’s sister?” Mable asked you both, she then was quick to add, “If you guys don’t mind me asking!”

You waved her off to assure her it was fine.

“We met through his stylist Harry Lambert.” You began before pointing to the camera, “Shout out to Lamby by the way!” Harry followed suit and instead waved at the camera with a lopsided grin.

“Anyway, Lamby and I know each other through work. We’re under the same company and we do similar things, etc. One day he invited me to come out to one of H’s shows, I didn’t have anything better to do, so I decided to go.”

“We met before the show though, remember?” Harry gently interjected, using his arm behind you to tap your shoulder. You nodded, “Yeah we did, I was fortunate enough to meet him before he went out on stage and we got on really well—“

You looked at Harry, “We probably spent about five minutes talking, right?”

“Yeh, it was pretty quick. I don’t know if you felt it at first, but like—Y’know that feeling when you kinda just know a person is gonna have some kind of impact on y’life?” Harry wondered aloud, hands waving around to try and get his point across. Mable and Ryland nodded, making sounds of agreement.

“It was like that and I thought about it the entire time I was on stage. After that everything seemed to fall into place and the rest was history.” Harry finished, smacking his hand on his leg. Ryland was the first to speak, “So after the concert did you try to always come up with an excuse to go to his shows or did you try to persuade Harry Lambert to invite (Y/n) more often?” Ryland pointed between the couple in front of him.

You and Harry stared at each other, his brow raised at you while your eyes squinted at his. Harry stuck his pointer finger out, “Well I got her number after, so I didn’t have to make any excuses for her to be at my shows. I’d invite her, she’d come and watch, then we would hang out after. Sometimes when we were in the same place, we would meet up too.”

“I’m assuming this went on for months?” Mable looked between you and Harry.

“Yeah, but the thing is, he was touring and I was working. So we had to be in different places all the time.” You clarified. Harry picked off where you left, “We managed to make it work though, I don’t think either of us were going to give up that easily.”

The video caught you and Harry gazing into each other’s eyes momentarily.

“Absolutely.” You agreed, scrunching your nose at him, similar to what he did earlier. Mable pouted at the two of you, “You guys are so cute.”

Harry quietly thanked her as he situated himself on the couch again. While Mable and Ryland gushed about how much you guys were “goals”, the famous singer got even more comfortable on the couch. He placed his mug down and leaned his body against your side, he softly took your arm and held it against his chest so you were holding him. He leaned the mic lower so it was closer to him and was mindful of where his feet was to avoid bumping his mug on the floor.

“I’m just curious, but what are like the weirdest rumors have you guys heard about yourselves?” Ryland asked, moving the conversation along.

“I don’t have any.” Mable shrugged.

“Maybe that guy last night can share some, should we call him?” You sang, jokingly pulling out your phone. Mable groaned and slapped her forehead with her palm, “I hate the both of you.”

“I’ve heard stuff about us, but I really think this rumor would be more fun to talk about.” You pondered. Harry shifted his head on your chest to look up at you, “Wha’ rumor?”

The corner of your lip turned into a smirk as you simply said, “Hobama.”

Harry suddenly threw his head back and bursted out laughing.

“Like President Obama?” Ryland screamed in shock, his brows raised to his forehead.

“I honestly don’t know how it started. It randomly popped up on the tabloids and followed me around for years—till this day, might I add!” Harry tried to clarify.

“I feel like it got even worse when Graham asked you about it.” You chuckled, fingers mindlessly playing with Harry’s brunette curls.

“What did Graham ask?” Mable leaned towards the couple.

“He asked if it was true that I had a sexual relationship or affair with Obama—I knew they were gonna ask me about it prior to the show being filmed. But at the time I was like fuck it and just went along w’it.” Harry started, “I didn’t know that it would become an actual thing.” He deadpanned, sending a look at the camera.

“Have there been any Hobama signs at any of your recent shows?” Ryland squinted his eyes at Harry.

“Not a one.” Harry paused, “But after this episode airs, I wouldn’t be surprised if I see a couple in the crowds.”

Mable crossed her arms, “Your shows are very interesting—in a good way—of course.”

“Thank you.” Harry grinned, “Yeh, we’ve got a lot of things going on. Every night it’s like a giant sleep over with a bunch of friends. We sing songs, we dance—“

“Trauma dumping!” Ryland interjected excitedly. Harry gestured to the man opposite him, “Right, we do therapy sessions.”

“Don’t forget the gender reveals, proposals, and helping them come out.” You continued to list, Harry nodding his head at every thing you said.

“Harry’s like a Swiss Army knife, he just does everything.” Mable joked. Ryland sighed and rested his chin in his palm, “You’re so talented.”

“You’re better at controlling cameras and all the sound equipment than me.” Harry acknowledged, raising a brow at him. Ryland snapped his finger at the Brit, “You’re so right, thank you, Harry.”

Harry placed his hand on his heart, “I gotcha man.” You then raised your hand, catching Harry’s attention, “Yes, m’love?”

“Can I just say how proud I am of you and like how insanely successful the tour has been?” You sat up, making Harry sit up as well. He remained close to you, wrapping his arm back around your shoulder. Though your statement made him pout at you, “Y’make my heart feel fuzzy.”

Mable and Ryland audibly awed at the both of you.

“No! Like seriously, it makes me so proud to see how much of a safe space your concert is to all you fans and anyone who steps foot into those shows.” You placed your hand on his tattooed arm and gave it a small squeeze. “I don’t think you realize how much of an impact you make on people’s lives, like we all appreciate you so much and I just wanted to remind you of that.” You shrugged, shrinking into your own shoulders.

“C’mere.” Harry said dragging out his words as he pulled you into a hug, this time he held you and your head was tucked into the crook of his neck. Instead of letting you go, Harry helped you get comfortable in his arms.

“While we’re at it, I just wanted to say how much fun I’m having right now. Thank you guys for having me” Harry gestured to Mable and Ryland across from him then turned to you, “And thank you to you for allowing me to be in your workspace and sharing it with me. You’ve always supported me throughout everything and now I finally get to support you and your craft, so thank you for trusting me to be here.”

Now it was your turn to pout, though there was a twinkle in you eye, “Thank you, H.” You hummed as Harry pecked your temple.

“I’m rooting so hard for you guys, you have no idea.” Mable said from her seat, the camera cut to Ryland who agreed.

“Yeh, I guess we like each other a lot.” Harry joked. You smiled softly at him.

“I don’t wanna intrude but is there a possible wedding in the future?” Ryland asked. It was silent between you and Harry, the both of you staring at each other before answering.

“I think so, I have some pretty high hopes.” You answered. Harry made a sound of agreement, “I think when everything calms down we’ll figure it out, but without a doubt it’s definitely in the cards.”

Harry let out a small chuckle and added, “Let me release the fourth album and then I’ll put a ring on it.”

The camera cut to you blushing with wide eyes, clearly taken off guard by your boyfriend’s comment. Mable and Ryland were quick to react, sending you teasing looks and screaming “oooo”.

The corner of Harry’s mouth lifted into a smirk, turning his head to look at you he asked, “How’s that sound?”

You scrunched your nose (adorably, Harry might add) and pretended to put some thought into it.

“Sounds like a plan, but on one condition.”

Harry’s brows raised as he waited for you to continue.

“You have to release Medicine.” You said, Harry caught on to your banter and feigned an annoyed sigh, “Babe, we’ve talked about this.”

“Fine, then can we get a puppy?”

“Of course we can, darling, we’ll have one by tomorrow morning.” Harry jested, sounding incredibly posh.

You turned to the camera apologetically and spoke directly to your boyfriend’s fans, “Sorry guys, I tried.”

Though in reality, you knew that Harry would release Medicine in a heartbeat if you asked him to.

[he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle]

Unknown - Ep 11 - That Scene

The opening scene of episode 11 landed differently for me than it did for others. I was going to just keep it to myself since I have a minority opinion, but when I rewatched it last night I fell even more in love with it!

The structure!! It's so good! Let me explain.

At the bottom of the stairs, Qian hesitates. He still hasn't made up his mind.

Yuan says "Do you still not get it?" He knows what Qian is feeling, even if Qian hasn't figured it out yet. So he says what he wants very clearly.

Yuan asks for permission to do 4 things:

1. Be more than just Qian's brother.

2. Be who Qian relies on when he's down.

3. Be someone Qian can talk to about anything.

4. Be with Qian for the rest of his life.

Before Qian answers, he revisits 4 sets of memories, each set answering one of Yuan's questions with a resounding YES.

After each affirmative answer, it cuts back to the sex scene to communicate that THIS is the culmination of all those yesses.

In other words, there are 4 direct questions and 4 groups of memories that hold the answers to those questions, 4 times those memories scream the answer is YES, and 4 cuts to a bit of sex.

Let's look at the groups of memories.

1. He thinks back to Yuan's words in ep 9. Does he not want Yuan? Or does he not DARE to want Yuan? And he remembers all the times he felt desire for Yuan, but suppressed it. Can he be more than just Yuan's brother? Yes.

2. He thinks back to Yuan consistently being someone Qian can rely on, all through his childhood until now. "If the world falls down, we'll hold it up together." "You won't be alone." "I like being around you." Yuan genuinely likes being around Qian and has never wanted to leave him. He's shown his commitment to Qian time and time again. Can Qian rely on Yuan when he's down? Yes.

3. He remembers how long and hard Yuan suffered while enduring one-sided love, and that Yuan chose to suffer in quiet for years rather than confess to Qian about it. But Qian knew Yuan was suffering that whole time and hated it. It broke Qian's heart to see how hard it was for Yuan. If he did likewise and didn't talk about things, he'd also break the heart of the person who loves him because of his silence. Yuan laid himself bare and told Qian everything. Can Qian reciprocate and tell Yuan about everything in his life, even the hard things? Yes.

4. He thinks about how Yuan has ALREADY built his entire life around Qian. "I can sum up my life in two words: Wei Qian." Memories of Yuan come like a flood, rapidly gaining momentum. Yuan has already been with Qian for most of his life, and will NOT STOP. Qian can't imagine a life without Yuan. So can Yuan be with Qian for the rest of his life? Yes.

Qian nods and says his answer aloud: You can. And then they kiss.

The sex is not the point. It's the culmination. It's all the yesses stacked on top each other until they break the last of Qian's walls. By cutting the sex so it only exists between each resounding YES, they've made it less about the action of it and more about Qian realizing that YES, they're ALREADY in love and unalterably committed to each other. Why not give in to his physical desires when the rest is so clear?

Others watched this and saw a sex scene interrupted by cumbersome flashbacks. I watched this and saw a dramatic feelings realization interrupted by snippets of quite lovely sex that drove those feelings home.

A final note: It's probably because I'm demisexual, but I am frequently unmoved by sex scenes, especially when they do not advance the plot or the character development. This onscreen scene moved me. It hit the right emotional note. It was focused primarily on Qian's pov (his face is the one the camera is focusing on). And it was artfully done, instead of merely being titillating.

I'm tagging a few people who I recall talking about this in their posts, but it's been a couple of weeks so forgive me if I leave someone out or misremember. @absolutebl @lurkingshan @bengiyo @wen-kexing-apologist @wanderlust-in-my-soul @twig-tea

[acesofspadess]

Rewind

I definitely published this a bit out of order but bare with me

“Hello Team Niall.” Niall introduced as they all waved and greeted him back. “Well, I've got a bit of news for you. Because of my concert schedule, I actually won't be in town for knockout rehearsals.” Everyone was shocked… and rightfully so. “Because I won't be there, I've chosen another coach to come in and mentor you guys for rehearsal.” Everyone started to freak out wondering who on earth it might be. 

“And they have been in your place before so I think they’ve got exactly what you need.”

The scene changed to the all too familiar practice room with an empty directors chairs. The sounds of steps progressively got louder until the special person appeared. 

“I'M BACK!” 

But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's rewind a bit.

~~~~~~

A day or two after The Voice Finale

“Hi I’m Maia Quinn, and I'm the Season 23 winner of The Voice, and we're hanging out with Rob on Front Row Live.”

“Go with me.” Niall moaned into your mouth as you straddled him. “Where?” you question kissing down his neck. “Boston. I know it's last minute and we’d leave in the morning-” you shut him up with a kiss and a roll of your hips, his hands tightening against your thighs. “Just wake me up an hour before we leave.”

Sitting at the desk of you and Niall’s shared hotel room the morning of May 26th  you had early interviews to get through before you were meant to go to the festival. You looked over the camera to see Niall already looking at you.

“Maia congratulations. What a night you had a few nights ago.” Rob praised and you smiled adjusting your airpod. “I am super excited for you and your career and your future. Especially because you're starting so young. You have enough time to kind of like, continue to evolve, and understand your voice; learn a lot more about yourself throughout this process. Talk to me about this process of your experience here on the voice and how you've evolved as a vocalist and a performer.” The interview was more than you could ever imagine. 

“Now your relationship with Niall this season has had fans going crazy. From the after performance hugs to the duet, and the after party, what can you tell us about that?”

You saw Nialls face peak over the laptop screen and stayed neutral. “Niall has been the most supportive and very encouraging. He has become one of my best friends through this whole journey. I lost a lot of my confidence during the pandemic unfortunately. It made me think that I would never be able to do things that I certainly could do and Niall- all these years later- has been there to remind me that I probably can do them, and then make me do it. So our friendship and relationship has been so important to me. He is my best friend across the charts and he’d hate me for saying this, but I wouldn't be here without him.” 

“Last question before we go. Is there anything we can look forward to seeing soon? Maybe another EP?”

You smiled glad you were able to share some information on what was coming next. “All I'll say now is, look for me on stage back home.” you winked dramatically knowing those who would get it would get it.”

“That's amazing, I'll definitely keep my eyes peeled. It was so great having you on. I hope to see you in person soon.”

“Bye!” 

``````````````

View comments

User10 i'm actually really happy she won

User2 wait…Slane is in Ireland…..

User6 I just learned she had an EP…. what?!?!?!?

Being at Boston Calling with him

“Boston, Massachusetts, how you doing?” he asked the crowd after he finished ‘Heaven’. The loud response made him smile excitedly. “Holy shit! This is crazy.” you face palmed knowing he was going to slip up sooner or later. “Thank you all so much for coming out to see me. I really appreciate it.” they cheered again as he sipped his water. You watched as he looked at the amount of people and a smile formed on your face.

 “This is uhm- this is actually my first ever Festival.” he let out a breath at the realisation. “I've definitely been drunk at a few.” you laughed at him with the rest of the crowd. “But I've never played at any and for that reason I'm absolutely shitting myself.” he said looking at you knowing you would calm him, and him seeing you laugh did just the trick. 

“But thank you for being here. I know some of you guys have been queuing for years.” he looked around at the signs “My girlfriend showed me this earlier ‘i travelled four thousand miles to be here from Brazil’ your eyes went wide at the declaration and the deafening screams were present. He subtly looked in your direction and saw your reaction, his worry diminished as he saw you smiling making him smile. “Makes you feel bad from coming just down the road doesn't it? ‘I came from round New York’.” he mocked, “awe who cares.” he laughed with them and you hid a big smile behind your hands. 

~~~~

You walked the same route you came flashing your pass when you reached the gate and made your way in to see Niall. When you saw him you squealed and ran over to him. He turned when he heard you and caught you in his arms as you wrapped your legs around his waist and he spun you both around hands on the swell of your bum.

“I'm so proud of you!” you screamed and he laughed before he was kissing you passionately. It was quick as many more pecks through giggles followed. “I can not explain to you how happy i am.” he whispered in shock as you were sitting in the trailer behind the stage and he was getting changed. “You should be so happy, my love. That was incredible, and I am so so proud of you.” he smiled at you before grabbing your hand and kissing the ring on it. “You make me so happy, baby girl.” you melted at his words and stood up to kiss him softly. “And you make me the happiest girl, Ni.”

You surprising Niall at his Zane Lowe interview and him outing you 

You knew Niall was disappointed when you told him you wouldn't be able to make it to his Zane Lowe interview today. He was really excited for this one and wanted you to be there. It was only a few days later that you flew from Boston down to LA for the interview. You were working on last minute stuff for the announcement today and you were nowhere close to done when he was getting ready to leave.

“I'm sorry love.” you kissed his pout away as you both stood by the door of his  LA house. “I know, it’s okay. I know why you can’t make it, and for that I am so very proud.” he melted his lips against yours as your hands went to the curls on the back of his neck and he wrapped his went straight to your bum.

~~~

Niall was watching Zane play his songs and the guitar with a big smile a few hours after he left. “There are some pretty songs on this record bro.” Zane complimented as he switched playing from ‘The Show’ to ‘You could start a cult’. You who had just made it into the studio to surprise Niall were standing behind the glass watching him, waiting for him to notice. 

“Thank you very much.'' He cut through Zanes music. “This one kills me.” Zane admitted as Niall caught on to what he was playing. “Yeah.” he cheered Zane on softly, finally noticing you. You saw his smile widened and you waved softly. “You Could Start A Cult.” he named distractedly, still looking at you as if he looked away you would disappear. 

~~~

“Kingdoms fighting over you,” Niall continued. “I think that like they’re the ones- that could have very easily been, ‘ i like waking up beside you and you're my favourite person.” he joked easily. “But ‘you could start a war’.” you shook your head at his lyrical genius. “Do you ever crack yourself up with it?”

‘Yeah it was something silly at first but now everyone's obsessed with it. It started with me and my girlfriend now, when we met we would watch crime shows together over facetime,” he exposed and you chuckled at his laugh.

‘You say girlfriend now, sorry if i'm over stepping but..” zane trailed off

“No,” he shrugged off looking at you, who nodded, “she was not my girlfriend at the time, she is now, is what that meant.”

“So did she not know the song was for her?”

“She didn't know any song was for her- or about her I should say. The road from when we met to now has been a very dark windy tunnel, but we made it to the other end.”

“That's beautiful Niall, truly.” You smiled at him agreeing with Zane.

“This was the last song on the record that we wrote.” Niall confessed, and you wondered why. “Why, what was missing?” and without hesitation he pointed to you, “her.” Zane looked to where he was pointing and you waved happily at him. He waved back to you just as happy before turning to Niall with a face of shock. “No?” he gasped and Niall laughed, throwing his head back. “Yeah, I know. Way out of my league.” he watched you shake your head with an eye roll and he couldn't stop the smile from gracing his face.

“I could’ve gone and did what I did with the rest of the record and put BV’s all over it and strings and that was my plan - and John just said to me- because we we were not talking at the time…” he pointed between you and him, “...this is your message to,” he paused, ‘“ her’ keep it that way. Just you and your guitar and your feelings.”

And while there's much much more… you’ll see that soon

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Unknown, Ep 10: Qian and Yuan

I’ve had a few people ask if I was going to do a breakdown post for the final scene between Qian and Yuan. Admittedly, I was not planning on doing so, but I like the attention 😈 so I will! 

Last we left off, Qian and San Pang were having a very difficult conversation, San Pang forced Qian to think about the future and was kicked out as a result. 

We start with a moment with each character to themselves. Qian closes the door behind San Pang and we see him hand at the door for a second, head hung in a way that feels very tired. He walks away from the door back to the couch to grab his glasses and wrap up the evening, when the camera cuts to Yuan sitting on the staircase, just out of sight of Qian. 

We see Yuan look up at the ceiling, take a deep breath, and then slowly move his eyes back to center. He is processing everything that he just heard from San Pang and Qian. Yuan is trying to keep himself composed here, he knows that Qian will be heading up the stairs eventually and so he stays seated because he wants Qian to know that he heard everything. Because Yuan is fucking mad. 

Qian heads up the stairs and we get, what could not be a more perfect little deer in headlights look from Qian as he processes that Yuan has heard everything. And I do love what this show does in how it portrays its characters because Yuan is still Qian’s little brother, and his face in the camera looks like that of an upset little kid. “Xiao Yuan,” Qian says as Yuan stands up and rushes down the stairs. In such a quick moment, Chris rolls his eyes, looks up, and then down like Qian is annoyed at Yuan’s behavior while knowing that he is absolutely going to have to be the one to handle it. 

Yuan brushes past him, but Qian immediately turns and follows after him, calls after him, tells him to wait. But Yuan keeps walking. Where he’s going? I have no fucking clue, but it is clear that Qian’s words aren’t going to cut it. Yuan has heard everything that Qian told San Pang. He’s heard about Qian’s wish for their happiness, he’s heard San Pang tell Qian that they love each other, that they have tried everything to make them not love each other, and what he hasn’t heard is an answer to San Pang’s question: 

“Do you want him to have a future without you?”

I don’t know exactly what (if any) part of the conversation acted as the tipping point for Yuan, but he has been pissed the entire episode about Qian hiding his medical stuff from him. So I can imagine that not hearing an answer from Qian about wanting to be in Yuan’s future might serve as a last straw kind of deal. 

And it marks a very important change in Qian that he runs after Yuan this time, that he physically puts himself in front of Yuan to stop him. Because he doesn’t want Yuan to go somewhere to cool off the way he did during Yuan’s first confession four years prior. He doesn’t want to just wait it out. He actually wants to talk to Yuan about where his head is at. That is huge progress from Mr. Hit First Talk Later. 

“Ge.” Yuan says, and then lets out a very big breath, like he’s trying to temper his feelings, but the frustration still bleeds out of him “It was never your fault,” 

Ah, here we go. What set Yuan off is Qian talking with San Pang about the Russian Roulette, reading between the lines there and understanding that Qian is scared of giving in to his feelings for Yuan because he blames himself for how deeply, how steadfastly Yuan loves him. Yuan is willing to die for him, and Qian has never had that before. He’s scared of giving in to his feelings for Yuan because he is scared of losing Yuan, and he is scared that Yuan’s love for him means Yuan will be lost because of him. 

“It was never your fault,” Yuan said and he put his hands on Qian’s shoulders. 

I do not even know how to describe the look Qian gives Yuan when he heard those words, nor can I really tell you what emotion(s) Qian is feeling in that moment, but I can tell you that I am obsessed with that look on his face. It’s like his breath catches in his throat and there is an ambiguity there, just like there was a bit of ambiguity in the head nod he gave San Pang, because he’s out of breath from running after Yuan, but there is also this chance that the pause in his breathing there is because of what Yuan said. Anyway: 

“Even though I know that in the end you might not want all that I’ve given-” 

Yuan says, while Qian looks down in the direction of his shoulders, where Yuan’s hands were just a moment ago. They made excellent casting choices here, I actually think for this scene it is really important that Kurt is taller than Chris, because it adds some extra power to Yuan’s position for me here. The way Yuan looks down at Qian makes him seem even more pissed off about the entire situation, almost like he’s belittling Qian. He wants to dig a knife in here, and he’s being successful at it

“Hearing it first hand still hurts a little,” 

And we are back in our original confession dynamic. Qian is not looking at Yuan, Yuan refuses to look away from Qian. Qian looks kind of out of it, I would say he is dissociating a little bit, but I actually think what is happening here is that Qian is getting hit with the full force of Yuan’s words. I think he is absorbing and processing everything that is being said and understanding how not making a decision is hurting Yuan. Mostly because of how quick his reaction time is to trying to stop Yuan from walking away immediately after he says it hurts. 

“I’ll be fine. I just need some time.” Yuan says, and I do think he means it. I think when Yuan came back from the States he had reached a point where he could live without Qian changing their relationship status, even if he didn’t want to. 

But as Yuan tries to walk away, Qian stops him.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” look at him using his words!  Qian looks so fucking exhausted when he does. The world has weighed heavy on him for so long, he’s been fighting an internal battle with himself about his feelings for Yuan for ages. It’s a lot, and the way Chris holds Qian here makes it feel like a lot. But, Yuan finally settles, because Qian is willing to engage in conversation. He is trying to clarify a misunderstanding, he is not outright rejecting Yuan here, he is not running away from talking about his feelings for Yuan. And so Yuan can stay, because there is some hope left there for him to hold on to. 

He releases another huge breath, he stretches for just a second, grounding himself. He looks back at Qian “Then what do you mean?” 

Qian stares in to the void, then rolls his eyes upwards, closes his eyes, and sighs. Chris shakes his head a little, like Qian is giving up. Because he is giving up. Because Qian is about to say the words. He is about to admit that his feelings for Yuan aren’t clear cut. Yuan looks away from  Qian in this moment, where Qian is getting himself together. 

gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“I can’t really figure out if it is love or something else that my feelings for you are.” And at the end of this, he isn’t running from the words anymore, because he looks at Yuan and Yuan is looking back at him. When Yuan first admitted his feelings, his suffering caused Qian to avoid eye contact. When Yuan returned, Qian couldn’t stop looking at Yuan. When listening to Yuan once again speak to his feelings and tell Qian he was hurting, Qian started in his comfort zone, in the old habits of looking away. But when he is actually admitting his feelings to Yuan, he does turn to look him in the eye. He isn’t avoiding it anymore. 

“Is it the love of a brother? Can we really turn it into romantic love? I don’t know.” Qian is finally having the conversation he has needed to have with Yuan. This is confusing, how do you separate your feelings out? How do you know? What happens if things don’t go well? How much are you set to lose if things devolve?” 

Yuan is capable of holding, understanding, and pushing that nuance, we’ve seen him do it before at the river. “This thing between us, is it because you don’t want or you don’t dare?” 

“Yes.” Qian says “All I know is I can’t live without you.” 

Yuan has seen that, San Pang and Lili have seen that, we have seen that. Qian wants to be careful with how he proceeds along this path, and he is right to do so. Because it is hard to determine, when you have known someone so long, when you have raised them, when you have seen them as a brother, when you have not had love outside of the family before, when that love has existed the entire time, and has been different the entire time, and how do you recognize that when you are in it? 

There is a pause. 

“Four years later, you came back.”

There is another pause. 

I love these pauses. I love Qian putting space between these thoughts, whether he is scrambling internally for what to say, or whether he is hesitant to voice them, I do not know. I just know that I love love love when directors allow for breathing room. 

“I saw your letter of last words.” 

Qian stops looking at Yuan here. Another little pause. 

“That’s when I started to feel scared.” 

The camera cuts to a wide shot, where both Qian and Yuan are visible. And we can see Yuan reacting to what Qian is saying. Yuan also is not making eye contact, he is fidgeting a little. But he is listening intently to Qian’s words. The blocking of this shot is interesting to me too, because the way that Chris is standing has Qian facing Yuan, but we don’t see enough of Chris’ eyes here, so while it looks like Qian is looking at Yuan, that is not necessarily the case. We have seen him look away multiple times and his head barely moves. 

Qian is talking in to the void, and Yuan is picking up the signal. Another pause, and right before Qian continues talking, Yuan turns to look at him with this look of surprise on his face. His mouth is slightly agape, his eyes look soft staring at Qian.

 “I’m terrified,” Qian says. “What if you had no chance to come back? I don’t know what I would do.” 

Yuan looks at Qian, looks away, looks up like he is trying to decide how to feel. What type of treatment he should be giving to Qian at this moment. Should he be bitter, should he be harsh, should he be soft? 

“Wei Qian.” Yuan says 

AND I WILL ONCE AGAIN SHAKE MY FIST AT THE SUBTITLES FOR TRANSLATING GE AS QIAN BECAUSE IT SO SEVERELY CUTS THE IMPORTANCE OF MOMENTS LIKE THIS ONE. 

Qian cannot figure out his feelings! He can’t figure out if he loves Yuan like a brother or something more! So Yuan cuts the brother out of it. He calls Qian by his name. He calls him Wei Qian, he puts the separation up for Qian. Is this the love of a brother? That’s an easier question to answer when you aren’t being called ‘brother’. How do you feel when you aren’t being reminded of your connection? 

I do not have the ability to describe the way Kurt’s mouth moves here, but I love the expression he gives Yuan as he finishes saying Wei Qian. He’s clearly going for a soft approach. Qian’s mouth, which hangs open just slightly, closes shut. 

“I’ve told you. I can sum up my life in two words: Wei Qian.” A smile starts to creep up his face. That’s love, bitch! Yuan was pissed, but now that Qian has stopped him, not that Qian has voices his hesitations, now that Qian has admitted that he can’t live without Yuan, even if he doesn’t know what his feelings for Yuan are, the love Yuan has for Qian melts the anger and lets the love bleed through. “But I’m not making you take responsibility for me.” 

This is a very important character trait of Yuan’s. One of the first things we saw of teenage Yuan was him grabbing one of the household bills. Yuan has been working side hustles while in school. He’s been helping pay the bills. He’s been as helpful as he possibly can be at all times, because this was a home he was given, not a home he was born in to. 

GOD DAMMIT CHRIS IS SO GOOD. ALL HE DID WAS MOVE HIS EYEBALLS LIKE…TWO CENTIMETERS AND THAT WAS ENOUGH TO KILL ME. 

Yuan is saying all the things that Qian needs to hear. Yuan can sum his life up with Qian, Qian fed him, Qian kept him warm, Qian gave him a home, Qian gave him love. Qian has seen Yuan as his responsibility since they were kids, but Yuan has wanted nothing but to be a support system for Qian. I said it before, that Yuan is the only person who continuously helps Qian to whom Qian is not beholden. Qian owes San Pang and his family, Qian owes Le and the gang, Qian owes Xiong. Qian does not owe Yuan. Qian does not see Yuan as someone that owes him. 

That small little eye motion are some gears clicking in to place in Qian’s head. That small little eye motion is Qian well and truly listening to what Yuan is saying. 

And here comes the parallel: 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“Did you come after me because you feel guilty, or because you care?” (this thing between us, is it because you don’t want or you don’t dare?) 

A genuine question that Yuan is using to try to push Qian in to allowing himself finally see his feelings through to the end. Qian is standing here before Yuan telling him that he does not know what his feelings for Yuan are. Even though those In The Know (Yuan and San Pang) can see the truth in Qian clear as day, Qian himself has not admitted it. 

So Yuan gives him a test.

Qian pauses for a moment, starts to shake his head, blinks. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“I really don’t know,” he says 

Qian has failed the test. 

Yuan’s soft smile has a hint of sadness in it now. 

“You don’t need to know.” Yuan leans back against the wall, looking up at the sky. Qian is looking straight ahead, once again not making eye contact with Yuan “It’s always been my problem. Going home with you.”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

The weight of what Yuan is saying hits. Qian looks at the ground. Complete opposite direction as Yuan.  

“Getting attached to you. Falling for you.” 

Qian closes his eyes and sighs, pulling his head up from where it was pointed. It’s like he can’t get used to hearing Yuan confess. Like it hits him every time Yuan says he’s in love with Qian and has been forever. 

“Wanting you all my life.” 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

That is too much for Qian. Even with his eyes closed, even though he can’t see Yuan right now, he has to face away. 

“It was never your fault.” Yuan says, and Qian’s eyes open ever so slightly. 

And I just have to say that it is really really important to me that with all of Qian’s trauma, with everything he has suffered, with the stuff he went through with his mother, that he finally has someone tell him that it wasn’t his fault. There is naturally a lot of hesitation in changing the way you see someone you have raised, someone you have looked at and treated as a brother, and suddenly see them as someone to be romantically interested in. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

So it is important to me that Yuan tells Qian he did nothing wrong. That Yuan’s feelings here are entirely his own, borne of his own mind and body, and that there is no aspect of Yuan’s feelings for him that Qian pressured him in to. That Yuan will be fine, eventually, if Qian does not reciprocate his feelings. Qian is not being forced in to anything here, and neither is Yuan. And I am so so so glad that Qian got to hear that. Twice! 

Anyway, Qian’s eyes open ever so slightly right as Yuan starts walking away, shoulder checking Qian on his way out. 

“Wait.” Qian grabs Yuan by the wrist “Wei Zhiyuan.” 

gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Yuan’s eyes are locked on to Qian’s hand around his wrist. He once again looks surprised that Qian would be brave enough to stop him from leaving. We get a shot of their hands (😈) and Yuan ever, ever so slowly raises his eyes to look at Qian.  

Qian has passed the test at the last second.

[pshbites]

LOVE ON AiR: 16. YAP CENTRAL EP.136: did social media ruin relationships?

WARNiNGS » profanity, mentions of d wording, sexual jokes, crying, ynhoon teasing, yn never being safe

wc: 3.1k

episode desc - enjoy your stay today in yap central! as we’ve done the whole cycle, todays episode is a deeper one! we open up with a positive impact we’ve seen on each other. then we go right in with how our presence on social media has affected our relationships. following that up we keep the theme of the deeper episode and go over the influence social media has on us and how we view ourselves. we end the episode off by saying one thing we’ve noticed about one another as we’ve grown and how we think it affects the friendship. the episode ends off on a bittersweet note but we hope you enjoyed your stay today in yap central!

*the 6 of you are seated in your assigned seats. jungwon adjusts the soundboard and riki tests the mic out, then giving him a thumbs up. sunoo sets his mic up a little closer to pick up his audio and looks to the camera, setting his phone down*

sunoo: it’s been so long since we sat in here

giselle: i know like two weeks right?

yn: i think almost three *you say, adjusting your outfit as well as your seating position. riki scoots over so you have more room.*

jungwon: i mean it counts as like a summer break since we didn’t really take one.

kat: good point. you know guys do you guys remember those um fuck what were they called

riki: it would help if you gave a description

kat: shut up im thinking

*the rest of you stare at kat in silence until jungwon breaks the silence to laugh, the rest of you following suit*

jungwon: im sorry it’s just what could it be that has you thinking that long

giselle: she’s using everything in that little brain come on now!

*giselles comment makes the rest of you laugh even harder, kat laughing as well*

kat: i can’t even think of it nevermind

yn: it’s okay babe you’ll find it later.

riki: i have to say these costumes are amazing actually. might be my favorite theme

giselle: you know riki you’ve been hating a lot less recently.

jungwon: i was gonna say that too, he’s a bit nicer

riki: what can i say, finally holding my deal for the new year’s resolution

yn: watch now that we said this he’s gonna be doing some fucked up shit by the time the episode comes out

*a text box pops up on the screen saying “he in fact did do some fucked up shit during the editing process of the episode - jungwon” then disappears after a couple seconds.*

riki: you have no faith in me

yn: simply stating the facts

jungwon: you guys ready for me to sign in?

kat: go for it man *she nods at jungwon who smiles back. jungwon adjusts himself and looks to the camera*

jungwon: beep beep! you’ve arrived in yap central i am your host today, jungwon or aang. starting from my far left we have.

kat: toph

riki: zuko

yn: katara!

giselle: azula

sunoo: appa!! *he shows off his fuzzy appa bucket hat, earning a smile from all of you*

yn: sunoo i love you please don’t die

*sunoo looks at you in horror as the others burst out laughing*

jungwon: anyways.. *nervous laugh* the cycle is complete so today is a deep episode!

giselle: oh my god last time i literally bawled on my way home

kat: won you always pick the most brutal questions

sunoo: i cannot believe you asked us if the younger versions of ourselves would like the us now. like that is so ugh

riki: look at the way he’s smiling i think it’s something torturing again

*jungwon grins evilly at everyone making the rest of you groan in both discomfort and agony.*

jungwon: starting with my first question! what is a positive impact you have noticed on each of us. let’s start with sunoo. you guys don’t have to go one at a time just build it up.

sunoo: okay well.. lay it on me. *he looks to the rest of you, nervously, then shocked at who speaks up first*

riki: you laugh a lot more

*giselles eyes widened as riki spoke, the rest of you sharing the same reaction. everyone stayed quiet so riki could talk.*

riki: like when we were in highschool you always seemed to be bothered, or like you just never really were happy. and i think when we started doing this and you started tiktok you’ve been a lot happier

yn: i was honestly gonna say the same thing. you seem happier when we go out sunoo, like you want to be there.

sunoo: i feel a lot happier, honestly it sounds stupid but doing this with you guys does make me really happy.

kat: i agree. i mean i really wouldn’t trade it for anything.

giselle: awww look at us having our moment!

*both you and sunoo giggle at giselles comment, jungwon nodding to giselle, signaling she’s next*

kat: giselle, you don’t really care what people have to say about you anymore.

jungwon: ahhhh i was gonna say that

kat: like you seem so much more confident now than you did before.

giselle: when though? because i feel like i just started feeling like this overnight.

yn: if i were to pinpoint a time frame id say when you broke up with [BLEEP]

sunoo: no i COMPLETELY agree, like there’s a brightness to you now.

giselle: aw thank you guys *she pouted then smiled*

jungwon: guys please be nice to me.

riki: you’ve always been a natural born leader. i just think you’ve always been positive.

yn: i agree but there’s like a glow to him now

kat: oh my god are you pregnant?

*everyone looks at kat then bursts out laughing. some of you stop but jungwon and giselle can’t stop laughing.*

sunoo: oh my god it has something to do with who gave you that bracelet

jungwon: sunoo seriously *his cheeks turn pink, hand now covering the friendship bracelet*

giselle: oooo who made it for you?

jungwon: it was a mutual swap

yn: mutual swap.. or she gave you that wap?

*the others start laughing again, jungwon as well. riki daps you up*

riki: that was a bar

jungwon: i’m not admitting anything.. on camera.

everyone: OOOOOOOO

jungwon: next! go flame yn!!

yn: not fair, we weren’t even done with you

jungwon: don’t care, you’re not as closed off as you used to be

riki: oh my god yeah, when we were kids you were so shy

yn: really? i feel like im still in my little shell

kat: no i get what they mean. i mean even when i met you, you were really shy.

yn: thank you?

riki: i think jungwon means it in the way that you’re more open to meeting others now. like you enjoy being a people person

yn: ahhh, i see now. i guess the podcast really helped with that. like seeing people say how they enjoy my little bits and just things like that. it sounds conceited but it almost made me feel like people actually valued me? you know.

giselle: i get it, it doesn’t sound conceited babe

yn: okay i don’t like this much attention

giselle: this sounds weird to say but riki has gotten nicer atleast to us

kat: yeah i see

riki: die

sunoo: glad to know you haven’t changed..

jungwon: guess someone doesn’t wanna open up today

riki: oh would you look at that! it’s kats turn!!

yn: i think kats tells us a lot more now. like before you never really told us anything about yourself.

kat: i just have trust issues, it was nothing personal.

giselle: it’s true it took her so long to open up to me

riki: i honestly think the podcast brought out the best in us. surprisingly enough

jungwon: i see what you mean. maybe another way to put it is that we realized how much closer the camera brought us

giselle: or this friendship is just a ploy for jungwon to make more money off of us

*everyone laughs*

sunoo: we’re such coworkers

yn: heard it here first!! giselle hates her friends

giselle: can you stop with that *laughs*

yn: oh i’ll drag it through the mud

giselle: then i’ll drag yn[BLEEP] through the mud

*everyone laughs even harder now, you side eyeing giselle.*

sunoo: she kinda got you there

yn: let’s move on?

jungwon: speaking of relationships. *you glare jungwon down as he chuckles a little, looking at his phone once more.* how do you guys think social media affected your relationships and how do you think social media just influences how you view yourself. you can answer it in any order.

sunoo: i feel like having a presence on social media just makes having a relationship so much harder.

giselle: it kinda does, like people just expect for you to lay out your entire lives on social media.

jungwon: i think it depends on what kind of person you’re with, it’s almost like that person has to be up to your fans standards you know.

yn: i think there’s some people who can be normal about it but at the same time you have to be okay with everyone knowing everything about you.

kat: yeah but then it just shows that people online think that we don’t deserve privacy. it’s fucked up like they’re borderline stalking us you know?

*riki glanced at you as kat spoke, noticing how you stiffened at the word stalking*

riki: a lot of people aren’t okay online, it’s weird. like being so obsessed with someone to the point of finding out their personal information

giselle: if that ever happened to any of us i really don’t know what i would do.

jungwon: i think i honestly would try to sue you know. you have to be a certain level of fucked to do something like that.

yn: yeah, i agree it’s so weird.

kat: i kinda don’t wanna sound like a pick me

riki: just say it, you won’t sound like one.

kat: it’s so much harder being a girl with a social media presence.

sunoo: the fact that you had to hesitate to even say that says everything

jungwon: i really don’t get it either, like i’ve seen both women and men do the same things online and sometimes the guy is worse than the girl and yet it’s always the girl getting attacked and harassed.

giselle: i think it’s because people just view girls as easy targets almost. like a girl could do something completely normal and the internet would spin it to make her a villain

yn: it’s disgusting really, no one really ever really wants to side with a girl.

jungwon: do the comments still get you guys? i mean i know it was really bad in the beginning

kat: actually no i remember when it got bad. it got bad that episode where [BLEEP]

*jungwon and giselle glance at each other then start laughing*

giselle: remind me to edit that out.

yn: honestly no, the comments don’t bother as much anymore. after a while i realized that they’re just saying this because they have nothing else to talk about so i just stopped looking.

kat: i agree, it gets better when you just stop reading the comments all together.

riki: god please take periods away from women and give it all to me.

*you and kat give riki a look then burst out laughing, sunoo jungwon and giselle following that.*

sunoo: can’t stay serious for a second

riki: i would never joke about women in pain

*jungwon and kat keep laughing as riki goes on, unable to take him seriously*

yn: going back to the original question i just think it’s hard, like seeing people overstep a boundary or intrude on your life and just be okay with it

sunoo: and people just say oh well you asked for this um? no i didn’t actually i just wanted post skincare videos

*jungwon snorts, causing a chain reaction for everyone else to laugh*

kat: im glad we haven’t cried in this episode yet.

giselle: oh my god don’t jinx it he still has two more questions

jungwon: you might cry at this next one *kat sends a look to jungwon and he gives her an evil smile* my next question is what changes have we seen in one another as we’ve grown up together. it can be good or bad.

riki: jungwons lost it this is so similar to the first question

yn: i feel like he means overall

jungwon: thank you! atleast someon listens to me

yn: *you look around shocked and confused* oh my god.. did you guys hear that? was that a ghost?

*jungwon stares at you as everyone else laughs at your joke*

sunoo: so are we gonna go around in a circle?

jungwon: no how about.. the person sitting across from you. like riki sits across from giselle so they can say it about each other

kat: wait i wanna start

sunoo: this is too much pressure

kat: *she stares at sunoo and smiles warmly* sunoo i admire your love for us. like i don’t know you always support all of us no matter what and i feel like as we’ve grown closer you just have so much love to give

giselle: that’s so adorable

riki: sunoo i love your videos please don’t die

sunoo: STOP WITH THAT JOKE *he turns to look at kat* thank you kat i love you. i have to say sometimes i feel like you don’t tell us everything but it���s okay, just because we’re your friends doesn’t mean we have to know everything about you. i just want you to know that we’ll always listen no matter what.

*kat stares at sunoo as he smiles at her, then looks down when she feels tears welling up in her eyes. riki looks at giselle and jungwon panicked as they pass him the box of tissues.*

yn: aw babe *you frown looking at her as she lifts her head up to see tears streaming down her cheeks*

sunoo: wait i didn’t mean to make you cry

kat: it’s okay i jinxed myself

*everyone laughs slightly, still worried about her. sunoo moves his mic and gets up to hug kat. they stay like that for a few seconds until he lets go, patting her head. he says something but the mic can’t pick it up then walks back to his seat.*

kat: it’s not that i don’t want there was just a time where i felt like no one really care you know?

jungwon: you’re not obligated to tell us everything, but we care more than you think even if we have weird ways of showing it. *he glares at riki who only throws his hands up*

*the rest of you laugh at riki’s reaction and even kat lets out a chuckle after wiping her tears*

kat: to the viewers watching.. this never happened i am mysterious and batman doesn’t cry

giselle: nurse.. she’s out again

riki: okay giselle! lay it on me! *claps his hands together*

giselle: you use being mean as a cover up you actually care a lot about what people think but you use being rude or mean as a shield.

*sunoo gasps, the rest of you stare in silence because giselle is 100% right*

riki: okay cut the cameras

jungwon: i mean she’s not wrong

riki: if you wanted me to cry it’s not gonna happen

giselle: i know

riki: i hate you guys

sunoo: yeah sure you do

riki: well, since you want a taste of your own medicine *riki clears his throat* you shouldn’t get into another relationship, atleast until you evaluate how you act during them.

giselle: excuse me?

jungwon: weird ass time to admit your feelings

riki: you’re a weirdo that’s not how i meant it

yn: well then how did you mean it

kat: i’m curious

riki: every time i've seen you get into a relationship you just stop acting like yourself. you’re less confident and it’s almost as if you change yourself to please the guy you’re with. I just don’t like seeing any of my friends like that.

*all of you stare in silence at giselle, the air feeling heavy as she pushes her mic away and mumbles something to jungwon then ups and leaves.*

yn: um. is she okay?

jungwon: she needs a second

riki: was it something i said?

jungwon: it’ll be okay, she just said she needs a second.

sunoo: she’ll be okay guys, let’s move on yeah?

yn: okay well.. jungwon i think you bottle a lot of things up, intentional or not.

jungwon: *he sighs, crossing his arms* it’s not intentional i just think you guys have too many worries on your own plates to worry about mine.

kat: even if we have a lot going on that’ll never stop us from wanting to know what’s going on won

jungwon: i know i guess it’s just hard? to admit i need help?

sunoo: there’s never anything wrong with that

jungwon: thanks guys

riki: yeah yeah

jungwon: okay yn, im glad you like yourself more

kat: um

riki: wow!

sunoo: that is certainly a statement

yn: excuse me??

jungwon: no i worded that terribly

*the 5 of you burst out laughing at jungwons poor word choice. within this time giselle walks back in, closing the door slightly. the mics can’t pick it up but riki mouths “im sorry” to her. causing her to shake her head and smile. “it’s good” she mouths back making him smile back.*

jungwon: what i mean to say is that you’re more confident now. not just about yourself but your videos too. i’m glad to see this change in you

yn: thank you won, it means a lot

jungwon: of course

giselle: well this was certainly an episode

yn: one of us always ends up crying

sunoo: that sadist probably likes it too

jungwon: woah? the term isn’t sadist

*the rest of you laugh*

sunoo: let’s have a group hug! everyone up on your feet

*sunoo stands up, kat and giselle following suit. you and jungwon stand up and riki groans, then reluctantly stands up. the 6 of you huddle around one another and go for a group hug. the mics can’t pick up your voices but the recording has slight shuffling and giggles from you 6. after a couple seconds you pull apart and sit back down in your respective seats.*

giselle: i love you guys

kat: me too

sunoo: me three

jungwon: me four

yn: me five

*everyone looks at riki who only rolls his eyes*

riki: me six..

jungwon: well guys hope you enjoyed your stay in yap central we hope you didn’t cry too much. i have been your host jungwon and please make sure to check out our links in this description and like, share, subscribe, and comment! till next time!!

previous masterlist next

AUTHORS NOTE » lol UMMMMMMM sorry guys i didnt realize how long it had been without an update WE ARE SO BACK THO

TAGLiST » @lqfiles @strawberrysavi @blockbusterhee @onlyhyunjin @purennn @jungkit @flwoie @imheretoread @firstclassjaylee @pinkishyng @luvgiselle @kang-ulzzang @cherryxbxmb @jkslvsnella @urslytherin @somerandomf1fan @i03jae @s0urcherry @istglevi-gotmesimping @kittykangz @hyuckies18 @seungwaitamin @taehyunnzly @luvvhaerin @brii-sunwoos-version @won4kiss @cheridiaries @dissoc1ating @mimismenu @heelovesmeknot @cherryrikis @onlyjungchan @getoxo @enhaz1 @hoshipills @tocupid @xxxnrigi @rairaiblog @dimplewonie @hoonics @vmpivory @lisaswifey @gweoriz @jjhyn @heegyuwrld @dollydigital

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[taki118]

Yakuza Fiance Ep1 Manga Comparison

The first ep of Raise wa Tanin ga Ii aka Yakuza Fiance, just aired. Overall the ep was good, great expressions and voice work and the pacing was fairly good, HOWEVER there are some important and/or fun things that slipped through the cracks of adaptation. Since I am SUPER normal about the manga I got everything here under the cut. Warning these are fan translations cause I'm lazy.

We are starting out stronger here with this little back and forth between Kirishima and Tachibana

The anime cuts out Tachibana's response which helps to show how these characters interact but also establishes the impression Yoshino gives to others she doesn't interact with.

So overall the scene of Yoshino confronting Renji gets cut down but I think the loss of this character beat is sad.

In the anime Renji just changes the topic when Yoshino bemoans her looks, while in the manga he actually kinda feels bad for her and does more to talk up the situation. Another bit we loose is Renji noting how similar Kirishima and Gaku look this comes up a few times later on in the series so its fine but still.

Overall the scene goes on longer and you get a better feel for the dynamic between the two. Also he talks Kirishima up WAY more so you can better understand why Yoshino would even go.

Yoshino's arrival is also way shorter in the anime, she just kinda arrives. We loose this explanation by Renji about the differences between Tokyo and Osaka Yakuza

Followed up by Yoshino noting the compound does feel like a traditional inn but that you can't ignore its a Yakuza home due to security cameras about.

But this is nothing compared to Yoshino and Kirishimas first meeting the anime cuts quite a bit from Kirishima revealing he was with her the whole time to talking about staying in the annex.

When Kirishima starts pulling her along Yoshino kinda notices his pushy behavior, at a later point Tsubaki will equate it to a salesman forcing his way in and that is exactly what Kirishima is doing. This next bit however I am really upset got cut.

After asking why she doesn't have an accent Yoshino explains Renji taught her both dialects in a weird "Do what the locals do" mindset. This bit follows where Kirishima assumed she'd have a strong accent and this is actually a bit of foreshadowing, set up to a later pay off that happens in the ep, and a bit of characterization for Yoshino. That's a lot so let me explain

Kirishima reveals he had expectations for Yoshino as a person this right here is the first hint of it and will carry into the alley incident later but also just overall. Yoshino almost always acts in a way Kirishima does not expect.

The series starts with Yoshino speaking with an Osakan accent then when shes in Tokyo it stops only to come back in times of stress or anger, you might not notice however she's dropped the accent without Kirishima noting it. So when he asks where's her accent? That kinda tells the audience to look for it and oh boy do we get it

Finally this shows a little of Yoshino character as well, she's trying to blend in, trying to not make a fuss and make things easier for everyone and a way she does that is by altering the way she speaks, but you can also see it all over the scene she's very stiff she doesnt want to touch anything so she holds her bag tight

The tour is also a little longer but the overall speech at the end is the same in both. Though again you can see more clearly how Yoshino was charmed into coming to Tokyo in the manga as we spend more time with Kirishima.

One thing I noticed is we loose a lot of Yoshino's internal thoughts in the anime and along with foreshadowing. Such as this moment.

This is the first time the readers are let in on the idea that theres something up with Kirishima until this moment he seemed maybe a little odd but overall normal, this gives us a glimpse of whats to come.

I think this is the best example of removing Yoshino's thoughts in the anime she just notes she's getting a lot of stares but the manga has a full page on this

This actually starts a mini arc for these chapters where Yoshino compares her life in Osaka to Tokyo and how different it is. Like there's a difference to getting talked about behind your back where you can't hear and within hearing difference, her situation wasn't great in Osaka but she knew how to deal with it. This is all new to her and kinda establishes she's dealing with a lot.

After seeing him in the yard at night, which is the same in the anime and manga, the anime only gives us a brief scene of Yoshino thinking Kirishima is acting distant and only giving a slight thought to what the moment could mean for him. And did you guess it? the manga gives us more.

We get a confirmation that days have passed since then, which the anime doesn't denote, she then ponders what he does outside of school and tries to push it from her mind.

From here we get the same bit of girls gossiping about her openly that the anime has where they suggest she's a prostitute working off a debt and such. The scenes are much the same expect for how it ends. The anime just has her calling it a pain in the ass but in the manga we get this bit after that thought.

Much like before this shows that Yoshino is dealing with a lot and nearing her limit. She's alone in Tokyo and isn't sure what to do.

The build up to the alley scene is a LOT shorter in the anime than the manga and is loosing out on some character moments for Yoshino.

We have her being worried about imposing on Kirishima and him brushing it off. Then when she notices she didnt withdraw money he states he thought HE was paying, again these subtle notes that he's been making assumptions about her.

The pick up guys scene is the same overall in the anime as in the manga, if anything the lead into the fight...actually can i call that a fight? the beating in the alley is longer in the anime. But it does cut this character beat here

The scene is relatively the same but we loose Kirishima casually tossing what I can only assume is that guys tooth over his shoulder. It helps to show how horribly he's beaten them and how callous he is to this violence and I honestly don't get why they didn't use it.

The scene after this as they walk away and his tattoo is revealed is the same but once more we loose a Yoshino thought that kinda helps to explain the scene

I get they likely didnt want to break tension but they could easily have had her voice that while she's use to tattoo's and violence with Kirishima it's different, it unsettles her.

The scene where his mask drops fully is very accurate to the manga however when he starts talking about selling her body the manga actually goes into far greater detail this is about the only thing I get being cut back.

Now transitioning back to the school the anime looses this lead in moment that shows how on edge Yoshino is

She hears a boy speak behind her and it scares her, the assumption being he must sound like Kirishima. Her internal dialogue also tells us that she hasn't seen him for a bit since the alley. The anime comes in after this where she contemplates going back to Osaka but goes against it but again doesn't denote time passing where as the manga states it hasn't been a month yet.

The "bullying" scene is the same in the anime and manga but her clean up is longer and gives a look into Yoshinos mind again

She is methodically thinking about how to mange the shoes, showcasing how she tends to focus on small things right in-front her and just dealing with it, all the while trying to push the unpleasant parts from her mind such as returning to the Miyama house.

We get the same thought from of thinking of going back to Osaka but shaking it off in anime as in the manga but as shown here without a lot of the build up the manga has. For what I have to assume is time reasons, we don't get Yoshino's thoughts on her situation as much and her growing exhaustion from all the mental shit she's dealing with. Think about it she moves miles from home, is living alone with strangers, going to a school where people openly bad talk and bully her, and the person she came here to get to know has been lying to her and tells her she's worthless and to just sell herself or leave, and this all happens in less than a month. I sure as hell would want to quit. But I don't think the anime really gets this across all that well.

So again this next scene with Renji goes about the same in the anime I mean its functionally the same but again we loose a little character beat.

So far I'd say there's a warmth that's missing from these talks between grand father and daughter in the anime. Yoshino doesn't stop acting like she's fine until she starts getting a normal conversation from hi , probably the most normal one she's had in days. This also sets up how Yoshino picked up gardening from Renji which is just a nice thing as she does garden later in the series.

But also the anime looses out on this great expression

Its a much more one sided conversation in the anime, again giving distance to the characters. Think about how you talk to those you are close with you interrupt them more and such much like the manga does.

After this the scenes are identical to the manga a couple lines dropped but overall its the same which is good cause these are the scenes that originally sold me on the series.

So that's it every major thing that the anime dropped from the manga. Overall its not bad but looses some insights into Yoshino which I hope doesn't continue. I might do these for each ep we'll see.

[ginnymoonbeam]

One thing I really love in Last Twilight is how crystal clear both Mok and Day's internal journeys are. We can see each of them recognizing feelings, probing, processing, waiting for a response. The camera gives us these moments of stillness and Jimmy and Sea absolutely deliver the quiet awareness that's appropriate to the specific moment. And the trajectory is clear! From a few scattered moments in eps 1 and 2 we've seen a steady increase over 3 and 4, as the closeness and attraction builds.

So often in BL I'm left wondering how the characters are thinking about their relationship, how aware they are that there's an attraction here on either side. It's so nice to be left in no doubt, and to get to see the slow growing of awareness on both sides.

Their different paths are also very revealing. I'm reading Day as someone who already knew he liked men and might have had some experience. He's been responding to Mok like he knows he could be attracted to him but isn't letting himself go there. That's a wall queer people get very used to putting up as we interact in a mostly-straight environment.

Mok, on the other hand, might or might not have already known that he can like men. He doesn't seem to be having any identity crisis stuff around it (although the pink shirt conversation from ep 3 maybe had some layers), but his journey is a much more straightforward "oh I'm having Feelings about him" discovery, and he doesn't seem especially hesitant to probe the edges of that. He's testing the spark between them, exploring it, seeing if he can push it further.

And finally Mok pushes enough to break the "can't go there" wall Day has up. Finally Day wants to see his face and isn't afraid of how he'll feel if he does... because by now Mok has given him enough to feel like it's worth the risk. (And having Porjai treat it as a possibility definitely helps.) As of the end of ep 4 Day is allowing himself to think "well what if I did like him?"

Not a word of this has been spoken on either side, but it's absolutely clear from the looks and actions on each side, and for that I want to kiss the writers, director, and actors on both cheeks.

[atzjieun]

significant treasure film jieun moments

[text in bold brackets denotes editor comments]

TREASURE FILM EP.1 — JIEUN’S TREASURE CHALLENGE

It could be worse.

Jieun continuously repeated the sentence in her mind as she walked around the streets of Earlwood with Jongho. She’d been given the task of finding a random citizen and teaching them how to say 10 seconds worth of ATEEZ promotion in Korean, a direct result of one of the members’ comment that she was the group’s English teacher. However, the task was a lot easier said than done, the hardest part being working up the courage to ask someone to film.

[Shy Jieun struggles to approach people]

“Just go up to someone and ask them!” Jongho encouraged. “It’s not like you can’t speak English.”

She let out a small huff.

“I can’t just, like, go up to someone,” Jieun protested. “They’re all probably busy with their own lives and don’t want to be bothered.”

“You’re never going to finish your challenge otherwise.” The boy shook his head. “C’mon, Jieunie. Be brave.”

All hope seemed lost when another ten minutes passed without finding someone to be in their video. The two youngest members sat on a bench together, watching as people walked past.

“Everyone, you’re seeing footage of Jieun’s failure to complete her mission,” Jongho spoke to the camera. She ignored the boy, his voice fading into the background as her eyes remained forward.

[Jieun spots something in the distance]

That was when something caught her eye: a young boy standing a couple meters away from them, staring at the two with a shocked expression. He was frozen in place, jaw hanging agape. Jieun’s forehead wrinkled as she stared back at him.

Without warning, she stood up and began jogging toward the boy, who began backing up in shock.

“Hey,” Jieun said. He couldn’t have been older than 13 or 14, she realized as she got closer. He only stared at her with a shocked expression, and it was then that she noticed the keychain attached to one of his backpack straps, displaying their logo. A smile spread across the girl’s face as she tilted her head. “Are you an Atiny, by chance?”

The boy only gaped at her, eyes wide. After a few seconds, he nodded.

[Fate brought them a fan]

“It’s so nice to meet you! What’s your name?” she asked. He let out a small squeal, stuttering out,

“H-Harry. I’m Harry.”

“That’s my brother’s name!” Jieun exclaimed. “We’re filming a reality show right now, and I have to get someone to promote ATEEZ for 10 seconds in Korean. You wouldn’t happen to know Korean?”

Harry blushed as he shook his head. “I’ve been learning for a bit, but I’m honestly not very good.”

“It’s ok!” She waved her hand. “I’ll coach you through it. Would you be willing to be in our video?”

By then, Jongho and their staff member had already approached and were silently watching the interaction. Harry stopped in his tracks when he saw the two, but after a few seconds, he turned to Jieun and gave a quick nod.

“Alright, let’s do this!”

-

After a quick Korean lesson and ten minutes of practice, Harry finally felt comfortable enough to say the entire message.

“Harry, fighting!”

[How will he do…?]

The boy took in a deep breath, glancing at Jieun who was filming on her phone. She gave an encouraging smile, shooting the boy a thumbs up. A nervous smile spread across his face as he turned his attention back to the camera.

“Hello everyone, ATEEZ is a nine member group that debuted on October 24, 2018. They’ve had three album releases so far and all the members are super talented. Please look forward to their future activities and listen to their most recent song, Wave!”

Applause erupted amongst the idols as Harry bowed his head, turning away from the camera in embarrassment. Jieun smiled as she put her phone back into her pocket and walked toward him.

“Thank you so much, Harry,” she said, lightly clapping her hands. “I appreciate it so much. Thank you for being our fan.”

Harry sheepishly nodded, not meeting her gaze. He took off one strap of his backpack and opened the front pocket, pulling out a lanyard. Attached to the end was a toploader keychain, which he shyly held out toward her.

Jieun glanced down at it, jaw dropping when she saw that it contained her own photocard.

“If you don’t mind… could I get your autograph?”

She nodded immediately, glancing over at the staff member, who handed her a marker. Harry pulled the photocard out of its sleeve and held it out toward her. Jieun signed the card before sending the boy a big smile.

[An Atiny’s dream, fulfilled]

“Thank you so much!” he said, holding back his excitement as he grinned down at the card. Harry slipped it back into the sleeve, stuffing the lanyard into his pocket. “I have to go now, but thank you so much again. I love you, Jieun. You’re my idol.”

Jieun pouted as she waved him goodbye, placing a heart on her chest. She turned to Jongho, still holding up his camera.

“I can’t believe we found an Atiny on the streets,” Jieun confessed. “He was so adorable.” The older boy nodded in agreement, letting out a small chuckle.

“He especially seemed to like you,” Jongho commented, causing her to smile. “Let’s go home now, shall we?”

Together, the two youngest members began making their way home, every step bringing them closer to finishing the challenge.

TREASURE FILM EP.3 — BEACH CONFESSIONS

Jieun walked down the same path that each of her members had, following their footprints in the sand to where she was meant to stay standing. She glanced over at the director and raised her eyebrows, waiting for his approval before turning around to face her members.

“Can you guys hear me?” Jieun asked, cupping her hands around her mouth to amplify her sound.

“Yes, we can!”

She nodded, the corners of her mouth tilting upwards in a small smile. Jieun fiddled with the hem of her jacket, her gaze forward but not reaching any of her members. Some time passed as she collected her thoughts, so much so that she thought the staff or the members would have commented, but the air remained silent.

[Can’t seem to find the right words…]

“Everybody, I’m sorry for not telling you guys when I was going through a hard time,” Jieun finally confessed. “I know you must have felt hurt because it seemed like I didn’t trust you with my true feelings, but you all take such good care of me all the time. I didn’t want to be more of a burden.” She closed her eyes in fear of how they would react, though her heart swelled when she heard their responses.

“It’s ok, Jieunie!”

“We’re not upset with you!”

“You’ll never be a burden!”

Jieun’s lip began to tremble, though she quickly bit back the sob creeping up her throat.

“Don’t cry, Eun-ah!”

“I’m not gonna cry!”

The members, and even some of the staff, burst into laughter. A small chuckle escaped Jieun’s lips before she continued.

“I promise to be honest with my feelings moving forward, but even though I’m the youngest, I hope I can become someone you guys can rely on as well!”

A soft smile spread across Jieun’s face as she raised her head, finally meeting her members eye-to-eye. As her gaze floated from member to member, meeting each of their warm expressions, a single, silent tear fell down Jieun’s cheek.

[The touching words melt their hearts]

“I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life before I met you all, so thank you for showing me such an amazing and beautiful world. I want to continue making memories together, even if they’re bad or difficult, so please stay with me!”

With the end of her sentence, Jieun glanced over at the director and gave a single nod, indicating she was done. She began making her way back to the group, fiddling with her hands on the way there.

“Jieunie, come here,” Wooyoung said, making grabby hands at the girl. For once, she listened to his request, walking over to the boy and allowing him to pull her into a tight hug. “We’ll always love you, our cute maknae.”

Jieun scrunched up her face as he pressed a kiss to her cheek, Hongjoong ruffling her hair the moment she was released from Wooyoung’s grip.

The smile didn’t leave her face for the rest of the shoot.

TREASURE FILM EP.3 — GIVING THANKS

Jieun’s head rested on the table, watching her phone as it rang, praying that the call would go through.

“Hello?” 

She sat up immediately, grabbing the phone off the table and holding it closer to her head.

“Mom?” 

“Jieunie, my lovely daughter,” her mom’s warm voice sounded through the speaker. “How are you? How is Australia?” 

“It’s good, Mom,” she answered. Jieun hesitated for a moment. “Hey, Mom, we’re filming the show right now and they’ve asked me to say some things that I’m grateful for. Are you busy?” 

“I’m at work right now, but I have some time.” 

“Oh,” Jieun said, her heart falling out of her chest. “If you’re busy right now, I can call you back later or something-” 

“It’s ok, Jieunie,” her mom said, cutting her off. “I want to listen to you.” Although slightly surprised, Jieun nodded despite the fact that her mom couldn’t see. She took in a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, eventually exhaling in one slow, drawn out stream of air. 

“Mom, thank you for giving birth to me,” she started off, a small chuckle slipping past her lips. “Thank you for working so hard my whole life to set me up for success, and thank you for being supportive even when I told you I wanted to go into this career path. I know you must have worried because of everything.” 

[Jieun who finds feelings hard to talk about pours her heart out to her mom] 

Jieun bounced her leg as she placed the phone back on the table, laying her arms out before resting her head. 

“Thank you for giving me a healthy body and keeping me safe, and thank you for the best older brother I could ever ask for.” The line went silent, causing Jieun to frown. “Mom?” 

“Jieunie…” came her mom’s choked voice. Jieun let out a small laugh of surprise. 

“Are you crying?” 

“No, I just need some water,” her mom replied, voice still overcome with emotion. 

[The sudden waterworks make her laugh] 

Jieun giggled, shaking her head as her mom spoke up again. “Jieunie, thank you for always being our wonderful daughter. You’ve grown up so well and I’m sorry your dad and I weren’t always there when you needed us. I hope you can forgive me for that.” 

A small pout appeared on Jieun’s face as she looked down at the phone. All she could do was sit there in silence, struggling to find the right words. 

“My parents are both emergency room doctors, so they worked a lot of long hours while my brother took care of me,” Jieun explained. “I never really talked with them about that sort of stuff when I was growing up.” 

“Mom,” Jieun began, voice hesitant. “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m glad that I’m your daughter.” She heard a small sniffle emit from her phone, making the girl smile. 

“I’m glad that you’re my daughter too,” her mom responded. She could imagine the tears running down her mom’s face. “Ah, Jieunie, I’m sorry. I have to go now. I love you so much.” 

The sentence, which used to bring her such grief, only filled Jieun’s heart as she nodded, a smile spreading across her face as she replied. 

“It’s ok, Mom. Go save lives. I love you too.” 

After saying her goodbyes, Jieun put the phone back into her pocket. She waved at each camera set up through the room. Jieun got up and bowed to the staff, quickly thanking each one before making her way out of the room, disappearing into the stairwell. 

[Jieun’s heart has been set free]

taglist: @teezingsiyeon

[mazeofyeni]

❛ YOUTUBE.COM ! ─── now playing : one kids room . . .

ⓘ ONE KIDS ROOM 2024. EP. 09 MAYA

「 outfit for video ! 」 「 mayas masterlist 𖹭 」

"hi." she waved to the camera. "im straykids maya , you know that because of the title." she laughed.

[ about maya ] maya who still needs to be taken care of ...

"it's not that she needs it." hyunjin said. "it just comes naturally when you see her." chan laughed. "she takes care of everyone , so people won't take care of her."

[ how maya takes care of others ]

"my mother told me the other day it's like i was born an adult." she laughed. "she said as a kid i'd try and take care of all the neighbor kids , she spent a lot of money on dolls so i just take care of them and leave the kids alone." she said. "i guess it's still like that sometimes , i take care of my members."

"i try and take care of other people , but i don't like when people take care of me." she said. "but my members don't listen so."

[ maya and her upfront personality ]

"she's very blunt." chris said. "she doesn't beat around the bush , but she isn't mean about it." they all agreed. "she doesn't want anyone to be uncomfortable."

"but she won't sacrifice her comfort for anyone else." jeongin said. "if she doesn't like something she'll tell you right then and there she doesn't like it , but it will be in a way where there won't be any tension."

"she says it in a way where you feel a whole bunch of regret even though she says it's fine as long as you don't do it again."

[ mayas way of thinking ]

"i am kind of upfront about things , i don't like to waste time and let things fester." she said. "why do that? and when you finally reach your breaking point , everyone is confused because you let it go on so long."

"i can take a joke , but why take a joke i don't like?" she said. "that's how i think about it."

[ guess one kids : listen to the question and guess mayas thoughts ]

" rank who maya would hate least to most." "someone who is judgemental , someone who is lazy , someone who is dishonest."

"i feel like she'd dislike all these people equally." han said. "yeah , honestly i don't all these people."

"someone dishonest is definitely first , that's something she values the most , then judgemental , she doesn't judge people without good reason , she gives everyone a chance so i don't think she'll like that." hyunjin said. "someone who is lazy." he said. "she's not a lazy person but i don't think she'd care that much if someone else is lazy."

[ mayas answer ]

"definitely someone dishonest." she said. "that's my biggest pet peeve , someone who is judgmental , then someone who is lazy." she chuckled. "as long as it gets done i guess it's fine."

"felix , the all knower of maya , as expected." he rolled his eyes.

"she has a routine in the apartment." hyunjin said. "but everyone is supposed to follow it." changbin laughed. "yah!" felix clapped in remembrance. "she was like that in the old dorms."

"it starts at like 4 am , even on days off." lee know said. "4:30 am she's out the door , and she doesn't go to the gym." seungmin spoke up. "no because that's at 7:30 , i asked her , 'where do you go at 4 am?" she said she just walks around."

"i can't live without a certain routine , it drives me crazy if everything is out of order , i know it's hard because i'm traveling a lot , but i made one for traveling and one for when im home." she laughed.

"i do sometimes drag the others into it , i can't help it , i know they hate it , but they won't be mean about it.

"it's not intentional though , i think because i'm up , im sometimes a bit loud and they wake up."

[ members enable it ]

"hyunjin , changbin oppa." she said. "im sorry , i'll try and change."

"she cares about people and their feelings , she's young but she is mature." lee know said. "she's someone i think everyone can go to , no matter your age." they all agreed.

"she just knows how to make you feel like you're the only person who matters at the moment when you're talking to her." felix joined. "she's attentive."

"she doesn't talk about her own feelings though." chris said. "she keeps her own emotions to herself."

"i guess im still a bit uncomfortable with expressing myself." she said. "when i'm sad or something , i just keep it inside." she confessed. "but im also not good at hiding when im upset so you can see it."

[ how would you express maya in one word ? ]

"cute." chan laughed. "maya is adorable." lee know sighed. "let's stop him , he can go all day if we let him." they nodded. "let's all go with that."

"maya is adorable!" "she's gonna kill us."

[ how does maya feel about that ? ]

"ah so annoying." she scoffed. "why would they say that?" she mumbled under her breath. "okay , i guess."

"thank you." she gave the camera a thumbs ups. "this is maya."

©MAZEOFYENI

[fae-renjun]

OPPOSITE SIDES OF THE CAMERA — h.sh

ep. 6 — grocery store sushi [𖦹 wc: ~720]

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you said a goodbye towards your ajar bedroom door, your eyes still fixated on your laptop screen. from the living room came a hurried “bye” in response, followed by the sound of the front door opening and shutting, signalling that yizhuo had left the apartment. karina had left an hour before for her job at the campus cafe. it was silent, the only sounds being the click clack of your fingers on your keyboard as you typed up an email.

on your bed, lying on your stomach, you adjusted your position so you were no longer held up by your elbows, placing your palms flat on the surface of the bed and resting your chin on top. you scanned the email as you proofread it, muttering under your breath to yourself, “…would like permission to use the film studio in the east building-”

your train of thought was cut off by a soft knock at the door. you looked at the clock on your laptop, noticing it was already 3:25. sitting up, you took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself to interact with hong seunghan one-on-one, something you had never done.

he knocked once again and you got off your bed, your sock-clad feet softly padding against the floor as you walked to the door. your hand reached for the doorknob but before you opened it, you paused, fiddling with your hair and clothing to make it more presentable. then you finally opened it. seunghan’s hand was up, as if he was about to knock once more. his somewhat surprised expression morphed into a wide smile, his eyes closing slightly in a way you found adorable.

“hi!”

“hi,” you said in response. “um, come in. sorry if it’s a bit messy, you can sit on the couch”

to your surprise, the interaction wasn’t awkward at all, despite your tendency to be closed off and awkward amongst people you weren’t close to. you realised no one could be awkward around seunghan. he, quite differently from you, had a tendency to make everyone in the room feel comfortable, and since it was just the two of you, his demeanour and behaviour helped you open up.

“so i think if you used your hands more in that part, it might communicate better? i always wrote isaac with him being a very physical speaker in mind. he uses a lot of actions and stuff you know what i mean?”

“yeah that makes sense. he seems like he feels a lot very deeply and he’s very expressive? if i’m not reading that wrong-”

you cut him off, “you’re reading it right seunghan. don’t worry. you’re good at this, i wouldn’t have casted you if you weren’t,” you smiled at him and you could see him physically let go of some of his tension about the role. you two alternated between discussing the film and conversing about anything else as if you’d been close for years. it was so easy to talk to him. he made even the most mundane topics interesting to talk about. you discussed your artistic influences, the basketball team he was on, your music tastes, your roommates, everything you could think of. a conversation about frank ocean was suddenly cut off by the low sound emitted by your stomach, signalling it was hungry. seunghan let out a chuckle and you closed your eyes in embarrassment. when you opened them back up he asked, “do you want to take a break and get something to eat?”

“yeah. sorry about that by the way, i just haven’t eaten in-” you checked the clock in your living room, “-about 4 hours.”

“don’t worry, i get it. i’m pretty hungry too,” he got off the couch the two of you were sitting on, “what do you wanna get?”

“um. sushi? we can get it from the grocery store down the street?”

he smiled and held his hand out to help you off the couch, “let’s go then.”

your hand in his made your skin feel like it was burning up, like where your hands connected was a fire. he looked down at your hands once you were off the couch and suddenly let go, looking slightly embarrassed and scratching the back of his neck. oh. okay. maybe you weren’t as completely delusional as you thought?

a/n: next update is ready and coming in a bit but i’ll give you guys time to process this 😁😁 and be happy with the fluff for a bit 😁😁

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© 2024 FAE-RENJUN. All Rights Reserved. Do not copy or steal any of my posts.

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 5

why does this episode make me feel like i'm missing something?

alright, here we go. logan's landed on something here. he's really good at finding something that'll annoy alex, no matter how many times he does it (with the utmost affection from both sides, ofc). but now he's found one particular bit that alex will literally always laugh at. and my favorite part is the williams camera crew genuinely seem to not know. they don't do it in here but as soon as he starts doing the "And The Winner Will Get The Chance" game show host act there's literally scenes where they do like a super-zoom on his face, because he's finally playing to the camera. he's playing by the rules, but he's not doing it for the show– he's doing it because alex will laugh even if he doesn't mean to. which he does, right here. it's like their own little inside joke, something that they can do right in front of the crew and pretend like it's an "everybody" thing when it's not. it's just a them thing. and alex laughs like he can't help it, like it's an instinct he's lived with and won't bother questioning, he's literally leaning his head towards logan as soon as logan starts The Bit and then his far-off expression turns into that helpless try-not-to-laugh smile. and they literally cut him off there. but i wish they hadn't because i love this intro so much– not just because of this new dynamic but because of how they look with each other. alex is fidgety and playful and distractable as always, but it's not because he's bored. he's just genuinely excited to play and can't sit still or make himself focus. and logan isn't teasing him or trying to draw him back to reality or make him participate or force him in anyway; but isn't quite ignoring him either. he's leaning back towards alex, half-turned in like he's trying to play to both the camera and alex even though alex is a million miles away. he's letting alex be in his own hyperactive little world like, "it's okay, i've got the intro, you do your thing" but "wait this is your favorite part" and then he leans back in waayyyy closer and when alex hears the change in his tone of voice he finally looks up and logan calls it "The Williams Racing Wheel" full government name and alex just– yeah every time

okay but can we talk about just how... comfortable they are with each other? it's like the collage episode but also not like that. because yeah they're both super focused on getting the ball in the basket (and then finding the balls when they go all over the deck). and it's a little chaotic so they're not quite as smoothly coordinated (logan has a moment of blatantly considering stealing the ball from alex's hands before he thinks better of it). but they're not just focusing, it's not just logan honed in on getting a task done. they're playing. alex is laughing, making comments, there's a short period where he stops for a bit and then logan steps in listing how many baskets he has and they have these out-of-breath half-exchanges with each other throughout the game... but also logan is SO much more expressive than he usually is. not like last ep when he was in some specific lovestruck mood where his nerves were showing on his face; he's just showing normal expressions for this normal situation. it's not just deadpan dead-eyed focus, he's laughing a little, frowning a little, just generally moving more. he's more in touch with the world around him and the people around him. you'd think this ep and last ep were shot weeks or months apart because it looks so much like alex has been rubbing off on him, even in the way he stands... they're not just silently doing an activity together they're in tune. there's a desire to connect, to stay talking, to narrate the events the other can clearly see for themselves because this is what makes it fun when they're together

nothing much. just alex panicking about the stupid plastic hoop and saying in the most unmanly high-pitched voice ever "put the basket down!!!" even though he's the one closest to the basket, and then he turns and nearly runs straight into logan and logan is just muscle car boyfriend era "i got you babe" with that hand on the side to run forward and shove down the fucking basket while smiling and licking his lips and yeah sure NOTHING MUCH THO

but of course logan can't be too nice about it it's like he's just been reminded that alex exists and now he has to go block his shot from the net and then when he jogs back he's not even looking at alex he's looking down but ends up so close anyway that he's like "i'm just gonna block this one too" (not really) and then they're both laughing. like stupid out of breath going back to the game immediately after but still laughing. and yeah they're not touching because they're focusing on the game but they're not being mindful of each other's space not because they don't notice but because they don't care. it's fun and it's carefree and suddenly they know how to be fun and carefree with each other like it's been their dynamic this whole time i feel like we've skipped years

Alex: [makes a pretty outrageous shot, it goes out of the camera frame]

Logan, o/s: "That's in!"

[the ball goes in]

Alex: "OOHHHH!"

my absolute favorite part of this is alex's disbelief. like, he has this sort of naivety and innocence about him that is impossible to believe, because you can't be that successful as a racing driver and be innocent. but he seems so surprised by so many things. when he laughs at something it's like he's hearing it for the first time. and he has this almost childlike joy and exuberance that he slips into so easily, just give him literally any vaguely competitive task and he's over the moon. and i think it's exaggerated in logan's presence, consciously or unconsciously, because logan's such the opposite of that. but even just having alex nearby is good for logan, it's like carrying a little bit of the sun around in his pocket. and that's just alex without even trying. not like oscar and the shoey in silverstone, sweet and empathetic and Aware of a Bigger Picture. alex just is a comforting person as he is and he brings out this silly side of logan that's such a blessing to see

this is what i mean about missing something. because on the surface, this is a pretty familiar scene– an activity wrap up with one of them (usually alex) not focused at all while the other carries the whole script. but it's different. and none of it's spoken (it usually isn't with these two) so it's gonna take me a bit to break down the body language BUT. logan's mannerisms are so much more like alex's now. he talks with his hands, looks back and forth between alex and the camera and the ipad, he shifts as he stands; all in all he's just way more dynamic. even as he's delivering the dryest part of the video. and alex has got most of his excess energy out through the game but not quite all, making himself stay still is a visible effort. but logan is leaning into him, tilting his body, holding out the ipad at the right angle so alex can see it even when alex isn't looking. and even with the hand gestures it's like he's gently but assuredly bringing alex back to the present, trying to ground him. and alex is huddled up next to logan making himself focus and he's still hyper enough that for awhile the only thing he says is just to confirm what logan's saying. logan's describing the wheel and the prizes and alex is just going "yes. yep. yep." like he's pretending he knows what's going on but really he's just following logan's voice, because logan is keeping them both going through the activity while giving alex a space to be scattered and distracted. it's not "you have to focus on me right now" it's "i'm here when you're ready to focus". and alex is literally leaning closer and closer to him as they talk even when he forgets to look at the ipad because logan is keeping him tethered to the flow of this whole video. even alex just giddily saying "ooh strong spin" and logan responding "big spin :)" and alex just echoing him "big spin :D". it's so mundane and so sweet and so i'm going to let you be excited and i'm going to take care of this and alex is so effortlessly comfortable in his own skin and logan is comfortable taking the guiding role for once and they both settle into these roles so comfortably and seamlessly it's like that's how it's always been. it's like i've missed something!!

so much of what happens between them seems to happen in their own little world. completely in their own world, not like charlos who don't always say it out loud but whose feelings are always plainly decipherable from their facial expressions. if you're not looking you will definitely miss it. because the way they connect doesn't make sense, it's unexpected, and from a logistic point of view it should never work but the connection they have just goes beyond words, beyond verbal communication. they just fit each other and it's accepting and it's welcome and it's going to be torn away and fuck

episode 6

[dean-a-mean-tae]

[2 Kids Room] EP.0_ Nicholas x Hyunjin | Stray Kids Additional Member

WARNINGS: There's cussing, but I don't think anything else.

Nicholas Ross Master List

The intro plays, a compilation of the pair laughing and playing before the logo shows and fades out.

They enter and calmly walk to the couch and sit together. Hyunjin takes two grapes, handing one to Nicholas and eating the other. 

Rolling the grape in his hand, Nicholas sighs, "Do you know how long it's been since we've sat and talked?"

"I don't know," Hyunjin laughs, pulling his legs onto the couch. He tilts his head as his eyes widen, and Hyunjin gasps, "Since this morning?!" 

Their heads snap to each other. Both their eyes were wide, and their mouths spread in a gaping frown before screaming.

"It's been too long!" Nicholas cried.

"What do we do?!" Hyunjin huffed, throwing his hand over his face as he slumped against the sofa.

A moment of silence passes as Nicholas eats the grape.

"I'm happy to see you," Hyunjin whispered, and Nicholas tilted his head. The younger boy poked the other's sides as Hyunjin giggled, "You're one of my favorites."

"I knew you guys had favorites." 

[Talk about Nicholas x Hyunjin] Minho, Felix, and Jisung

Minho: Nicholas was scared of Hyunjin when they met.

Jisung: Scared?!

Felix: Why?

Minho: I don't know. I remember him telling me that. He was smiling when he told me, so it's okay.

"I remember sometime last year, you came into my room crying," Hyunjin sighed as he leaned against the couch. He stared at Nicholas, his eyes bouncing around the boy's features. Hyunjin smiled as he continued, "It was weird to me because you had people in your dorm, but you came to me."

Nicholas gave a breathy chuckle as he looked at his hands. Hyunjin shook his head, scooting closer to the taller male and playing with his curls. He smiled when Nicholas leaned into his touch.

"You woke me out of my sleep, and we stared at each other," Hyunjin hummed, wrapping his arm around Nick's shoulders and smiling when he leaned against him.

"You looked stupid with your hair everywhere," Nicholas chuckled, looking up at Hyunjin.

"Stupid?!" He screeched, sitting up and accidentally shoving Nicholas off his arm and behind his back. Nicholas laughed as the older boy leaned against him, crushing Nicholas between Hyunjin's back and the couch.

"I looked stupid?!" Hyunjin repeated, looking down at Nick. The boy's eyes were squished closed from his giant smile, pushing his cheeks up.

"No!" Nicholas screamed as he flailed his arms. After finally being let up, Nicholas looked at the camera as he continued, "You looked like a bird's nest."

[Talk about Nicholas x Hyunjin] Chan, Changbin, Seungmin, and Jeongin

Changbin: Sometimes, we have to separate them.

Jeongin: I remember walking in on Nick smacking Hyunjin hyung in the face with a pillow, and the scream he let out was so loud. 

Chan, nodding: I remember. I came in the room to you, yanking Hyunjin off Nick's back.

Changbin, laughing: I wish I was there for that.

"When I first met you, I was scared."

"You-" Hyunjin flinched at his younger member's words. Nicholas was scared of him? Hyunjin turned to Nick, frowning as he asked, "Why didn't I know that?"

Nick's side-eye was immediate, hitting Hyunjin with a pillow as he scoffed, "Well, I wasn't going to tell you I was scared, was I? That's how people take advantage."

"Speaking of which-" He smiled mischievously, casually snatching a grape off the table. "When I first met you, I thought you would be a jackass."

"Why?!"

"Because you're gorgeous," Nicholas breathed, tilting his head against the couch to stare at Hyunjin. He huffed as the older male hid in his hands, Hyunjin's giggles echoing through the room.

[Talk about Nicholas x Hyunjin] Minho, Felix, and Jisung

Felix, grinning evilly: Do you remember walking in on Nicholas and Hyunjin?

Minho, rolling his eye: Yes, it was a very... strange image.

Jisung: What were they doing?!

Felix and Minho: Laughing manically.

"We're supposed to be soft, and all I've talked about is I thought you were a jackass," Nicholas mumbled, and Hyunjin laughed as he flicked his hair from his eyes.

"Tell me something you like about me," Hyunjin suggested, watching Nicholas's nose flare as he inhaled. Nicholas hummed as he rolled a grape between his fingers. Hyunjin snatched it from him and ate it as Nicholas side-eyed him. 

"You guys know I suck at this expressing crap," Nicholas huffed, tilting his head as his vision blurred. 

"Um," He hummed, blinking quickly to focus his vision. "You make me feel safe, and I'm not used to that. The feeling is weird."

"Like," He paused in thought. Looking up at the different lights, he turned to Hyunjin and said, "The first time I felt safe around you, I didn't know that's what it was. I knew I liked being around you, and when you were gone, I was tense."

"I think that's why I was so happy when you got me the Jinret plushie," Nicholas giggled as Hyunjin played with his fingers. The taller boy sat up when he glimpsed his bag.

"You know, it's in my bag right now?"He asked. Without waiting for an answer, he shrugged, "I carry it everywhere."

"It also smells like you, so that's nice. I think my mind has subconsciously associated your smell with safety," Nick rambled, stretching his fingers as he stared back at the eyes of the plushie peeking from his bag.

Hyunjin laughed as he yanked Nicholas into his arms. Nicholas screeched as he was crushed by Hyunjin again. "Is that weird?"

"No, it's cute."

[Talk about Nicholas x Hyunjin] Chan, Changbin, Seungmin, and Jeongin

Jeongin: Do you think Nicholas actually likes picking at Hyunjin?

Chan and Seungmin: Definitely.

Changbin: Without question.

Chan: I think it's his way of getting payback for Hyunjin squishing his face so much.

Jeongin, remembering Hyunjin squeezing his face before they left: I believe it.

Nicholas Ross Master List

©️DEANAMEANTAE2024

Tags: @bada-lee-ily @jinnie-ret @hwxnghyynjin @foxilsdenn @rensahazard @mynameisnotlaura @lucianidealz @ziipzeepzop-eez @ilovejeongi007

You can be added by asking in the replies, sending me a message, or doing an ask thingy.

[skz-bibi]

(🔴) ... [ NOW PLAYING ] EP.51 - 52 노노캠핑 (Know Know Camping) !

🤍 ... ( outfit ) !

"you can sit here." jeongin held her hand as they got on the bus. "seungmin is sitting there, i can sit right here." you pointed to the seat in front. "he can move."seungmin looked at the two. "why would i move, you both can separate for an hour."

they finally took their seat, chan sitting down in the window seat, lee know boarding sitting in the front since he was the guide. "students!" he said in a teacher voice. "im your teacher for the day." she laughed as they all showed zero emotion. "we're here for know know camping."

"exciting right?" she snickered as they confidently. "good job oppa." she said. "thank you bibi." he gave her a smile. "it's been a while since we went on an outing, let's have fun and be happy."

lee know then instructed them to get into teams, playing games to pick the members. "bibi knows what she's doing though, she's been camping before." lee know said, she nodded. "oh we can use her, she can help with the tent." changbin said.

"what if i wanted to go shopping?" she said. "yah, don't pretend to like shopping now." seungmin said. "i don't mind it." she said. "so you switch with me, you go shopping." everyone said no. "yah!" she shrieked.

"bibi you have a phone and you chose to not use it everytime ad bring back the wrong thing." she smiled, embarrassed. "you have a point." she pouted,chan laughed. "cute."

"bibi can come with us." changbin said. "we need entertainment." she gave him the finger hearts cheekily.

when the topic of money arouse , they instructions were easy, for certain about of money you had to commit to something from slightly agree for 10,000 won to fully commit to something for 100,000.

"seulbi your turn." she read the comment. 'try and be less physical in 2024' she frowned. "look how sad she got." hyunjin smiled behind her. "yah, commit to it." jeongin said. "this is anti seulbi , i just like to give hugs, what's so wrong with that?" she shrugged. "yah." jeongin said, she smiled. "it's 100,000 won , just do it." chan said.

she looked into the camera smiling. "i'll try and be less psychical." she pointed out her pinky. "i promise."

finally making it to the camping ground, surrounded by beautiful flowers, she gasped. "this is so pretty." she said , pulling out her phone. "i want to take some photos later." she walked down the road to the steps.

lee know had gotten an extra 100,000 won to whoever could find the rock he threw out, jisung being the one to run out and grab it, making them all laugh. "you guys got it." she shouted. "yah!" she yelled. "why didn't anyone run out." she said.

"look at the dog." she said, linking arms with jeongin. "ah cute." she cooed bending down to pet it's back. "hi baby." she scratched it's neck. "so cute." jeongin smiled at the girl.

they walked back to the site to set up the tents. "we have to sit this down first." she pulled out the bottom, laying it out on the ground. "okay put that up." chan helped them set up the actual tent part. "be careful hammering that down." the elder watched them hammer down the things.

"don't get so frustrated." she bent down holding the thing for him to hit. "good job." she said. "we did it" she cheered ruffling his hair, the boy laughed. "you've failed your commitment already."

she found some decorations, putting them along side the tent. "bibi?" chan called, she hummed. "can you set up the table and chair?"

it didn't take long, setting up the foldable chairs and table, sitting out the portable stove for them to use later— once she was finished, she sat down in the tent. "it's comfortable in here."

"bi-ah." lee know called out to her. "do you want a beer?" she poked her head out the tent. "come have a drink." she crawled out of the tent. she took her drink , sitting down with them watching them make tiktoks.

seungmin and changbin returned with the groceries, setting up everything so they could began to cook.

"why is it taking so long to boil." she cut up the garlic pieces. "next time let's eat pasta in seoul not during camping." they sat there waiting, chan feeding them pieces of meat.

finally the water was starting to boiling , so ayen begin cooking the noodles while changbin made the sauce, making a stew for them to eat.

the food was done, they all sat around just eating, seungmin making fishcakes for them to eat, they ate until night fell.

when night fell they all sat around the fire , eating ice cream sharing the gossips they wrote earlier in the day. "bi-ah." lee know read. "why do you only call out to only ayen chan lee know cutely?" she smiled. "changbin wrote that." chan said.

"I call out to everyone the same." she defended but seungmin jumped in. "no you don't , you call me kim seungmin with anger." she glared. "because you make me angry kim seungmin."

"try it." hyunjin said. "what?" she said. "call out to changbin cutely." he smirked. "no." jeongin said. "do I have to?" she looked at the camera. "do it." chan said, she stood up, covering her red face. "why must i do this on camera?" she cringed. "changbinnie." she wrapped her arms around him, everyone cringing. "changbinnie oppa." he smiled satisfied and she sat down in distress. "i can't."

finally everyone settled down , just drinking and enjoying each others company ending the night off.

©️SKZ-BIBI

[crying-pan420]

MY THOUGHTS FOR EP 10

OK SO THE CASEMENT

It introduced us to mr bonzo and the Tv presenter and was pretty good for a backstory of what happened uh and suspicious murders :000

I don’t really have much to say that isn’t gonna come back in his actual appearance

Colin

Surprisingly isn’t dead but is still investigating stuff and by the sounds of it against the others wishes. Also he’s not supposed to be back by what he said to Celia so he’s going against Lena’s orders which should be fun

THE INSTITUTE

Ok so

They found a key

That leads to the tunnels I’m assuming by the sound of the trap door opening and the hole in the floor

Sam sounds like he’s finally “given up” on the institute or has atleast to Alice

But

He let something out

And the glitchy breath sounded a lot like Jon’s voice in 200 when he’s the pupil so

IS JON IN THE TUNNELS?!!?! Also TAPERECORDER?!??! THERE WAS A TAPE RECORDER!!!! WHAT

WHAT

So we know that whatever’s listening can listen through anything now

TV’s, computers, security cameras, phones and tape recorders

Mr bonzo

Probably shouldn’t done the institute after but yeah

Poor Gwen

Thought he was gonna kill her

SO MR BONZO DEFINITELY COMITTED THOSE RECENT MURDERS RIGHT?

And he’s in control of Nigel and this isn’t the first time the OIAR has given letters

And by the sound of “this could’ve gone worse” mr bonzo has probably killed or attacked people from there before

Very scared

The first time an episode from either series has properly scared me with mr bonzo so

Gwens terrified so am I

It’s mr bonzos house now

[redrocketpanda]

From the person who brought you unhinged JJK S2 fish discourse, please accept my humble new offering: me holding up images whilst screaming ferally at you: did ya see?! did ya see what they did with the colour symbolism in episode 4 and what it Means?! Well dw cause I'm here to serve you a heinously long meta-analysis regardless. This episode has completely undone me and I need to give you a blow by blow account of why

I want to go in depth about the final scene of e4 bc that's really what set the cogs whirring in my mind, but let's start with the following image bc it exemplifies everything, not just in terms of the colour symbolism but of the heartbreaking changing relationship of stsg

Throughout the previous episodes and opening/credits of S2 we have been made to associate the colour blue + lightness with Gojo and the colour red + darkness with Geto. The sparkling blue eyes and stark white hair of Gojo, his Limitless: Blue technique, the white fish, the way he is often shown standing/walking in the light, turned to face Geto versus the black hair + dark eyes of Geto, the black fish, shown standing/walking in the shadows, turned away from Gojo (etc etc)

Yet the final scene of e4 flips this on its head and what this Means is, quite frankly, soul destroying

We join Geto as he walks along a dark, narrow corridor flooded with red light until he reaches heavy doors. He's confronted with his own image, reflecting back at him, before using both hands to prise open the door. When he steps into the bright white light of a high-ceilinged room, his face falls as Gojo emerges like a messianic figure from the applauding crowd, carrying the shrouded corpse of Riko (side note: god I have a lot of thoughts on Gojo as a messianic figure but I'll save that for another time)

Gojo approaches Geto with his head bowed (whereas usually he is always looking up at Geto) and the moment Geto lays eyes on Gojo he knows something is wrong (similarly to Toji earlier in the episode). He barely seems to recognise Gojo and though Gojo's eyes still sparkle with their bright blue infinity, his expression is dull and lifeless. Geto asks disbelievingly in a way that stabs me right through the heart: "Satoru. Is that you?"

At the start of the conversation, the camera pans from Gojo on the left to Geto on the right and is shot from below in a way that emphasises the growing cavernous expanse between them

But it's what happens in the following moments that's really the killer

Gojo states that he fucked up and that everything that has happened is therefore his fault. Geto tells Gojo "let's head back" (I read this both as: let's head back home and as an indication that Geto wants things to go back to how they were). The camera then cuts to Gojo's mouth as he asks flatly - "Suguru, should we kill these guys?" - and then zooms out as he continues - "The way I feel right now, I doubt I'd feel anything about it." The camera zooms out, showing Gojo standing in front of the applauding crowd, holding Riko's body and continues to draw back, making Gojo seem as if he's getting further and further away from Geto, as well as from us, whilst his eyes glow ethereally

I want to do a separate post about what happens with Geto, Gojo + their relationship in episode 5 but I do also want to point out here: this is the scene that Geto experiences invasive flashbacks of in the following ep. It's the moment that he realizes that he's lost Gojo, that Gojo is now fundamentally different in a way that Geto doesn't recognise or understand, that Gojo is far beyond his reach

As Gojo walks past a motionless Geto, away from the light and into the darkness, we cut to Geto's downcast eyes, pupils dilating wildly as though he's in shock/about to cry (this harkens back to the fish, the way that Geto can no longer bear to look at the white fish as it swims past). We are then left with Geto standing in the bright blue-white light telling Gojo that there's "no point" in killing them, whilst Gojo replies in the darkened, red corridor "does there really need to be any point to it?"

Gojo is a broken man, a complete shell of who he once was and this scene demonstrates Gojo's transition as he turns away from Geto. The colour symbolism, though, is present throughout the earlier parts of the episode and beautifully illustrates how we arrive at this exact moment (as well lays the foundations for what comes next)

Let's return to our blue/red colour theory bc there's a lot going on here during this episode!

E4 starts on a banger: we're cruelly given a recap of Toji telling Geto that he killed Gojo and then within the space of about 7 minutes, Geto too has been killed. It's tragic and sad and none of us want to be reminded of it but I'm going to (srysrysry) because hey, check out what's going on. Notice the cool blue tint of Geto's "death" versus the vivid red of Gojo's? (a horrible eg I know but you should've heard my scream when I caught onto it)

And here's another cool example that had me ajdjsksjdk bc ofc I clocked Gojo using his red technique, but look at the blue glow around Geto's hand?! I don't recall seeing it being used for Geto before (correct me if I'm wrong) so it's interesting to see it being used here, plus us seeing Gojo using Red properly for the first time

Let's just pause here for a moment bc this is a hugely important moment for Gojo's character arc and the fight with Toji gives us an incredible colour theory moment

In the previous episodes, we've seen Gojo being able to easily use his Limitless Blue technique but remember how, in E2 Gojo tried to use Red and hilariously fucks it up announcing "I failed" and resorts to punching the bad guy instead? It isn't until this episode, after Gojo has used reverse cursed technique whilst on the verge of death to heal himself (idk if heal is the right word) that he is able to learn to use Cursed Technique Reversal: Red

We have this really beautiful animation sequence during Gojo's fight with Toji. A blue and a red droplet swirl around each other and then splash together to reveal a swirling rotation of blue and red rippling water. The colours converge, red droplet slipping into blue water, blue droplet into red. The droplets come together to form the shining purple infinity plucked between Gojo's fingers, granting him the "Hollow Purple" technique that allows him to blow a hole through Toji.

Gojo explains:

"Reverse cursed technique uses negative energy. While it can enhance the body, it can't regenerate it. Multiply that negative energy against itself to create positive energy... Take the amplified and the reversal, then smash together those two different expressions of infinity to create and push out imaginary mass."

Gojo + Geto, amplified + reversal = two different expressions of infinity -> create / push out

Toji "killing" Gojo was the moment that set Gojo on a different path, which allowed him to evolve beyond belief and causes him to ascend to, what he believes is, divinity. He takes the basics of Blue and Red (primary colours; Gojo and Geto) and mixes them together to create something new, something transcendent, something that surpasses who he (and Geto) were before. He becomes an unstoppable power that far surpasses everyone else, and this is what Geto recognizes: that Gojo has evolved without him (which we know from E5 has huge consequences for Geto's thinking)

And so now, finally, let us return to Geto at the end of E4

After Gojo asks Geto "does there really need to be any point to it?" (killing), the camera flashes quickly between the applauding audience and Geto's empty hand, which he then clenches into a tight fist. He raises his downcast eyes to look forwards (resolutely, looking into the future) and responds: "it's very important there is..."

We're left with the image of Gojo standing on a blue floor, surrounded by the clapping crowd. The floor wavers as an all consuming darkness pulses beneath him, locating Geto as it's central point as it surges out towards the crowd "...especially for a jujutsu sorcerer."

We're reminded of the conversation where Geto and Gojo almost come to blows whilst playing basketball in E1. Geto's argument that jujutsu sorcerers exist to protect non-jujutsu sorcerers whilst Gojo complains about having to protect "the weak" + patronisingly tells Geto to get off of his moral high horse.

Now we witness the extent of Gojo's apathy in action, as he pulls away from everything and everyone, and the swinging of Geto's moral compass from protection to genocide as he's left behind in the ruins of all that once was, of everything and everyone that he loved

[made-this-cause-why-not]

How I would re-write Supergirl Season 2/3

(as some one who stopped watching after season three, and also has not rewatched the series since 2020) (reign arc and heroes of the week will remain unchanged)

So, starting off strong, at Alex and Maggie would not have gotten engaged. Season 2 finale would have been Maggie realizing she was rushing into things, Alex being all "no I love you, I know I do" and Maggie being like "there is a whole gay world for you to explore... go do it." This would lead to sadness, a bit of tears (Chyler and Floriana would be AMAZING- daytime emmy nominee worthy performance).

Rhea would reveal Kara's identity to Lena in the finale. It would be casual too, she would be like "you are much better for my son Lena, that kryptonian isn't worth her weight in dirt here. I can't believe he would settle for a lowly slave." And then Lena would be all "reporter" and Rhea would be like "Yes Kara Danver's, former slave to a, Cat Grant I believe her name is" and then Rhea would continue on her spiel and there would be a cut scene as the camera focuses on Lena taking in the information

They save the day- Monel leaves for what ever reason he had to leave- don't remember, don't care. Also, Kara and Mon-el would have never dated, he would have just pined for her and James and Winn would be all "join the club"

Season 3

Alex mourned over her first lesbian relationship over the 6 month gap between seasons, Lena hasn't told Kara she knows.

First DEO scene of Season 3 is Alex talking to Kara (and invertedly Winn and James) about her most recent date on an app. It went bad, Winn chimes in like "what was it this time" and Alex is like "she was weirdly into ___" then J'onn walks in, like "Alex I am sorry to interrupt but there are pressing matter to attend to- there is a meta human down town" (que hero of the week intro)

Lena and Kara hang out, audience find out that Lena hasn't told Kara cause Kara has to leave to deal with a alien and does the usual "uh, I hear my named being called, ugh bye" and Lena just smiles and nodds, and sighs wistfully, staring after her (supercorp shippers go crazy)

Ep 2 or three we first see Sam and Ruby in line for Noonan's or something (why did they establish that as a brand, just to immediately ditch it after season 1???) and it's just a cute simple little "Hi, I'm Alex, let me help you out" but Sam is endeared and Ruby just smiles because (I love Ruby but honestly) she didn't have that much of a personality early on in the season

That same ep we see Lena reuniting with Sam. After that, when ever Sam and Lena meet each other (I don't remember when or how) Kara and Lena are like "you two know each other" and Alex is all blushy like "yeah, Kinda, I mean, not really" and Sam is like "yeah, Lena she is the girl from the place". Sam and Lena share a look (agent reign shippers go crazy)

Sprinkles of supercorp here and there- Just Kara and Lena doing their normal friend shit but Kara being like "woah, I am feeling things maybe"

At ep 8 or so Kara is at the bar with Alex and ask her how she knew with Maggie, that she liked Maggie. And Alex is all "well, I guess I always knew I liked girls but it was always objective. Like, I would think, she is so kind and smart and beautiful and amazing, any guy would be lucky to have her. But something about Maggie just forced me to realize that I was the one feeling these things, not some guy. I don't know, something about her just made alot of things clearer. Like, I realized I was the one driving the car, not a passenger. She made me stop being so passive in my own life" and Kara is quiet the whole time. Alex then ask "why" and Kara is all "no reason". Cut to Lena at L-Corp working on something relevant to the plot (supercorp shippers go crazy) (that conversation inspires Alex to ask Sam out- they then start to date)

Next ep, Kara goes to Lena's office, and is all, "there is something I need to tell you" and Lena is all "I already know" and Kara is shocked an all "how do you know" and Lena is like "in hindsight it was obvious. *list of things that hold double meanings cause miscommunication trope*" "Lee- I would have told you earlier but I-" "It's fine, I get it. You were doing it to protect me" "protect you???" "yeah- you're supergirl". Que Kara sighing and then freaking out, Lena saying Rhea told her, Kara being pulled away by some kind of supe situation, and Lena being all "go get them supergirl"

Kara admits her feelings at the end of the episode. Lena is shocked, but agrees. They agree to go on a date, a real romantic date and not a friend one, but oops- it's ep 9 which means Kara fights reign, goes comatose and then we get angsty, driven lena being like "we gotta fix Kara"

From then on, the show goes like usual, but Alex and Sam are dating and Kara and Lena are as well. The show ends with Season 3, Alex leads Deo, Winn stays but James leaves to help in the future but it really doesn't matter because the show it over. Supercorp is canon, Alex and Sam have a daughter and everyone lives happily ever after.

Edit: forgot to say this orginally but more Cat cameos. I love that woman so much- she has to come back at least twice in season 3 and be like "I leave the city for five minutes and you let her do WHAT? Agent Scully, why on EARTH would you let your sister fight a world killer??? Have you no brains under that thick skull" or something. I just want for her to be there, see Kara and Lena together and pull out of peice of paper from her purse that says "gay" and be like "I knew when you first walked into my office. No straight women would willingly be yelled at that often" or something. Idk, she was just very deeply missed