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jae-canikeepyou · 3 years ago

Text

| adjacent | j.jh

pair: jaehyun x fem!reader

word count: 18k+ (unedited & not proof read)

summary: jaehyun turns into a golden retriever whenever the day reaches the most beautiful time; golden hour. a secret he kept his entire life & always wonders how long he could keep it, especially when you suddenly showed up.

genre: au + golden retriever!jaehyun + hs!nct

a/n: idk what came to me as i brainstormed this but by now, nctzens and valentines should know jaehyun’s a golden retriever :3 so i decided to write a plot for this adorable fact T^T heavily inspired with fruits basket and beauty & the beast! i really hope you’ll like it. lmk what you think! enjoy reading lovelies! ~j

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time was ticking real quick.

he rushed through the bustling people, avoiding the narrow crowds and jay-walked countless pedestrian crossings. he needed to hide. no one should see him transform. there was little time left. why was he so careless each time this happened? his parents and younger brother warned him to be alert at all times. did he listen? no, never did. they compared him to a rock— hard headed and stubborn. but all he ever wanted was to be free.

curses! just a little more, a few metres more! he pant as he tried to catch air. he felt his flesh tingling, his senses doubling and tripling. jaehyun peddled as fast as he could, at least reach the line of bushes by the basketball court. hopping over the plants, he threw his bag aside and jumped off his bike before bracing for the fall.

the now broken bell sounded horrible as jaehyun’s brother caught up to him with his skateboard. “dad’s gonna kill you if you ask for another bike for your birthday.” he sighed looking at the loosened chain while picking up the single-track vehicle and the scattered clothes.

jaehyun transformed to a golden retriever puppy and struggled to come out of the bushes with his tiny paws and body. when he succeeded, he scratched the back of his ears to brush off the leaves stuck to them. “won’t happen, sungchan. i’ve already saved up enough by then. i’m not gonna burden dad for my wants.”

sungchan pressed the bridge of his nose. “you’re kinda being a burden now.” he picked the animal— his brother— up and put him inside his coat, as well as the belongings on the ground. he hopped on the bike and headed towards jaehyun’s campus.

“what did you say?” jaehyun barked tried opening the zipper from the inside of sungchan’s coat.

“nothing.” the younger excused. “but can i have your bike if you actually plan to get a new one?”

“ugh just bring me to the court. i’ll be late for my morning practice.”

the brothers were able to communicate telepathically as they’re related and were both cursed. instead of golden hour, sungchan transforms during the blue hour, which occured at twilight. tracing back to their ancestors, all were cursed for unknown inexplainable circumstances. they tried breaking it with all they could. every idea ended a failure. so they had to live through it, adjust, adapt and be alert.

they bumped into ten, kun and jungwoo, who were doing warm-ups and they simultaneously trailed their eyes and heads towards the jung brothers. seeing the huge pouch on sungchan’s stomach area, they all cracked up and checked the time. “oh yeah, it’s sunrise.” jungwoo spun the ball on his pointer finger.

ten grabbed the pup with one hand and jaehyun barked at him but he couldn’t understand a thing. although he was confused, he continued to carry him in his palm because jaehyun’s response was funny. “what is he trying to say?” he chuckled and poked the pup’s snout.

“he said ‘it hurts. put me down idiot’. i have to be honest with you hyung. holding us by the back of the neck really hurts.” unlike his brother, he was rather calm and collected despite already imagining the pain.

“you’re a blue holland lop bunny. it’s normal to carry you like this too right?” ten showed the pup to sungchan.

kun facepalmed at the question and took jaehyun. “no dimwit it’s not normal. sorry jae. you know he just likes teasing your puppy form.”

“‘wait until i turn back’- ugh seriously do i really have to translate hyung’s words every time?” sungchan gave jaehyun’s clothes and bike to jungwoo. “you know what to do when he transforms back yeah?”

they nodded and upon seeing the kid leave and headed towards his campus, jaehyun couldn’t wait to turn human. he would always beat ten up almost immediately— sometimes forgetting that he was naked. for the dudes it was alright. the problem was if he was with girls, though he hasn’t encountered anyone so far. he hoped he didn’t have to.

the harsh drills from basketball practice already sucked the energy out of jaehyun. not only that it was physically tiring, transforming into a dog twice a day before that have doubled the strain. then him transforming back would cause migraines and painful joints, as they were the aftermath of the curse. he had to keep his title of m.v.p and captain since the told them there was a possibility of him of having a scholarship for college. he couldn’t let a minor pain hinder that chance. not ever.

however, ten and the others could read his suffering. to them it was obvious through his exhales and slowing speed. hiding it was of no use. jungwoo ruffled his hair with a clean towel after shower. “can’t you just be like that dog in the movie ‘up’? have a collar that translates barks into actual language?”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and wore his black t-shirt. “it’s a damn movie, jungwoo. the world might’ve evolved and advanced in technology and even if they were to exist they’d be expensive. can’t afford that.”

“you sound negative, don’t you have any hope at all?” kun joined the conversation.

“never had any. stopping this curse is impossible. it’s been generations. my dad’s still suffering too. i have to find a way.” he fixed his black cap in front of a mirror.

but he knew there wasn’t. silence loomed above them as the team struggled to continue the topic. they tried not to bring it up yet each time they did, it always ended awkwardly and badly. it was either they riled jaehyun’s mood— mostly ten— or jaehyun himself was building his own raincloud by sulking about it and not looking at the bright side.

how ironic it was, he thought. generally speaking, even though being golden had good intentions and the breed was meant to bring happiness to others, he felt the total opposite. if he had to describe it, it was all insecurity, lowered his self-esteem and hopelessness only increased over the years as he grew.

thinking about it, he slammed the locker a little too hard that its components caused it to bounce back.. and also added to fuel of his anger. “break that again you’ll be in the coach’s office.” kun tied his shoelaces and the others agreed.

“my dad is the coach, what do you mean?” he questioned at the stupidity.

“you didn’t show up the last time it broke. we got the punished in your stead. uncle wasn’t happy.” ten got out of the showers last, a towel was wrapped around his waist before the younger ones were scarred for a second.

“it was sunset and i transformed! of all people dad’s supposed to understand! i-” jaehyun rubbed his face quite agressively and headed straight outside.

“oi i’m still changing! wait up!”

jaehyun kicked the bike’s stand attached to the rear wheel. he and his father didn’t have the best relationship compared with other kids, but he could say that it was better than the relationship he had with his mother. she loved her little family, yet over time the curse grew onto her. her husband would turn into a werewolf at full moon. and until now, even though that happened once month, she thought a part of him wasn’t the same person she loved before. even more so, when her sons were just the same as him.

your mom’s delusional! she doesn’t love us! she fears us!

that feeling stayed in the boys’ mind until they were old and mature enough to comprehend the situation they’re in. why couldn’t she love them like any mom would? she was no different from an animal mother abandoning her calf/pup just because they were or had defects.

mr. jung tried his best to be the perfect father, for only he understood what his two sons were going through, as they might go through decades with it, just like he was. jaehyun still remembered his first transformation, he only had puppy paws, but that was a sign to mr. jung that he indeed inherited the curse. when sungchan grew a tail at a fine age of one, their father gave up his 9-5 hour office job to tend the boys. and that was before he became jaehyun’s basketball coach. now he could monitor them at a close range.

much to jaehyun’s dismay and for that reason, he felt more caged and overprotected.

—

“y/n! coach’s looking for you!” your classmate called.

no.. you groaned. again?..

it was already after school hours. you slouched on your desk as you covered your ears, remembering the errands he asked you to do previously. you didn’t know why, but ever since you had detention because you refused to run a 1600m marathon for an assessment, seemed like the other punishment was that he passed his job to you. that was a month ago, and today was the tenth time.

but curious as you were to find answers, you brushed it off and tried not to show any remorse. it’s all for conduct, you kept telling yourself. the whistle echoed the entire hallway and jolting you up in your seat. “okay, okay! hold on!” you yelled from the back of the classroom.

as coach jung stood rather comfortably outside the room, he gestured you to walk faster with a dimpled smile. “y/n! took you approximately three minutes to walk here.” he laughed and handed you several files and a zipper folder.

“thanks for counting?..” you replied with a confused and questioning tone. “coach, what’s this?”

“all school sports teams will have an annual retreat before their playoff seasons. i need a representing manager since ours was admitted to a hospital just today.” he pointed at the list. you followed his finger and it landed on your name.

“sounds like to me it’s more practice. and you want me to go because?” you raised your brows. he asked you to follow him to the gymnasium, in which it was making you recall all those extra detention after school.

“to make up with all of the p.e assessments you ‘purposely’ missed.” he said proudly while looking at his team doing drills. but he didn’t get any response from you. when he looked on his side, you were gone and ran across the basketball gym. “y/f/n!”

you squealed as embarrassment crawled your entire body. not only were you escaping from coach, you were disrupting the team’s practice and hitting couple of duffel bags and water bottles. “ah! sorry! coming through!”

*whistles* “after her!” coach jung’s voice added an extra chill to your spine.

“ugh why us?” ten groaned with sore muscles as coach gestured to them widely.

“just go.” kun panted.

then you heard a several footsteps turn into drums until they sounded a stampede. you jumped on your toes as you passed the line of showers cubicles. good thing you haven’t seen a naked man, or else you’d faint without knowing. you turned around and went straight ahead then to your right, and hid in a random room. the echoing voices and squeaking friction between shoes and waxed floors were cut to a silence, like your ears were muffled instantly.

your wobbly legs were tired and you were sighing in exhaustion and crouched down against the door. great, i’ll stay out of their sight- “what are you doing here?” you heard a low voice and froze on the spot. “only members of the basketball team can access the meeting room.”

that sounded like the captain.

“did you hear what i just said?” he raised his brows. you slowly lifted your eyes from his shoes to his legs, then to his built and face. “well if you’re a nobody you might as well leave before coach arrives. you interrupted my recording-”

“i heard you jung jaehyun.” you tsked and realised you had the name list on your hand. “ah, as a matter of fact, i can be here because i am part of the team. my name’s on the list.” you grabbed a pen and ticked the empty box on the paper.

what are you saying, stupid?!

“uh-huh..” jaehyun trailed, putting down his camera.

“y-yeah!” you stuttered. “you heard me.”

the door shook by the loud knocks from the other side. on the frosted window, you could see four figures. orange and black jerseys, they must be the team members. “ah! the door’s locked! she’s definitely in here coach!” one said.

“i’ll toss you the keys!” he yelled. oh crap. you were caught in between. your heart patterned with the knocks.

“you look terrified after hearing coach, y/n.” the chair squeaked from the weight. “i’m guessing you’re that troublesome student he has a hard time dealing with recently?”

of course captain knows you. great reputation you have, y/n.

“so? what’s your point?” you stood up to see his amused grin.

“say hello to a term’s detention.” jaehyun waved as the door swung open, revealing ten, kun, jungwoo and.. the coach.

you sighed heavily and dropped the papers. the coach crossed his arms and you lowered your head a little. “you plan to escape again y/n? then i shouldn’t hear any excuses from you. you’ll join us for the twelve day retreat. period.” he picked the papers up and wrote something.

“sir i can’t be with a bunch of jocks for that long!” your whine had the captain blocking his ears. “i have debate finals to attend to.”

jaehyun flinched at the high pitched sound and rolled his eyes. what was your deal? it was rude of you to suddenly barge into athlete’s quarters but judging them for that was even more rude of you. he had to shut you up at some point.

“so much excuses.” he played with his nails and to you he looked more amused than ever. you rolled your eyes at his chuckle and know he would target you from now on. “dad, y/n told me she’s ‘part of the team’.” he played his video that recorded your voice, clearly saying what jaehyun heard.

coach jung looked rather surprised, but his smile definitely screamed happy. “oh? that’s all i needed to hear. welcome, uh- temporarily. i’ll inform mrs. park about the situation.”

nononono- “i did this.” you were at a loss for words. “i won’t be able to compete in the debate.”

“yeah pretty much you made the wrong decision.” jaehyun stood to tower over you. “i’d like to see you suffer our drills-”

four knocks cut jaehyun off. “oh no, she’ll only do those for two days.”

you swifted your head in confusion, seeing coach jung wrote down your schedule on the white board. you were packed and it’s a lot worse than the actual assessment planned in school. “and what about the rest of the ten days?!” you exasperated that your hairtie snapped at the right moment, and your hair fell in sightful way.

“ooh that was hot.” ten commented in soft whisper, causing kun and jungwoo nudge him on the each side.

“she’ll be our manager for the remaining days, keep track of our drills and score points, or other extra things i needed a hand with while taeyang’s in the hospital.”

jaehyun rested his palms on his waist, swirling his tongue inside with a provoking gaze at you. “see if you can keep up, manager.” he chuckled.

you checked the time, it was nearing 5 p.m. “you know what, give me a day to process all this sport thing. it’s close to evening and i have to get going-”

“it’s evening already?” jaehyun cut you off as he looked outside the window.

the sun glistening at the distance while the sky showed a pretty ombré of warm colours. his senses doubled again and his whole body ached. he had to make you leave. it was already enough that his friends knew about his situation. there’d only be more trouble if you knew too.

“uh duh? the clock’s right there.” you pointed.

“hm, anyway you have to leave now.”

“sheesh i was going to anyway.” you rolled your eyes, but felt jaehyun’s palms behind your back. “hey stop pushing!”

“you’re too slow!” his tone changed. different than the usual because panic was what you felt from his palms. “quickly!”

the rest of the boys could tell you were pissed. they couldn’t understand why jaehyun had to make a fuss out of it when all he had to do was to kindly ask you. using force would only cause misunderstandings, like what’s happening now. “hey what’s your deal?!” you flicked his arms. “do you like to push people around? just because i’ll be with the team for the next two weeks, that doesn’t mean you could treat me like this already!”

“tsk so noisy! you’re wasting time! just leave would you?!” jaehyun turned you around towards the door.

this time you wouldn’t budge. “no jung jaehyun i need an explanation with this stupid attitude of yours!” you wriggled off of his hold, pushing him back with pats several times more that he stepped backwards.

“i don’t owe you an explanation!”

“you definitely do?!”

“why can’t you listen to what i say?”

“why can’t you stop being pushy, pushy?”

“you’re the one pushing me! time’s ticking y/n!”

the continuous back and forth of bickers and the war of pushing each other was an idiotic sight. your wrist was in jaehyun’s palms as he gripped you tighter. “i don’t care captain jerk! it wouldn’t bother you or hurt you to just give me one reason- and he slammed the door at my face! argh!”

jaehyun smirked wide and proudly knowing that he ‘won’ argument. silencing you was better than letting you see his other form. the boys stared him once he turned around to face them. “what?” he questioned,

“definitely not the right way to treat a girl.” they all said simultaneously.

“you know how bad it makes me feel when you all said it at the same time?” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

he knew well enough that this wasn’t his usual self. he’s good friends with you despite being in different teams of the school. you both took literature as your electives. sometimes you’d let him copy your notes when he had matches or leave small appetisers and juice cartons when he was tired and vice versa.

but no matter how close you both were, he couldn’t afford to let you see his other self.

not just yet.

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waking up so early in the day to assist the team was way more annoying than birds chirping by your bedroom’s window. instead of hearing their tuneful tweets, you had to endure endless phone calls every minute. you couldn’t remember much from that day because you passed out. and the team didn’t look for you until yesterday.

coach jung waved to catch your attention, only to be greeted with your huge yawn and a disinterested face.

“ah there she is! c’mon now, i got the green light from mrs. park. she agreed that p.e is the only subject you’re likely to fail this semester, so she’s giving you a cool-off from the team and focus on here.”

“yep. heard you coach.” you tied up your hair, only listening to half of what he said. “where’s the captain?”

kun did few stretches & jumps, his expression mirrored the other two boys who were also doing the same. you had a feeling about this— their telepathic gaze and awkward silence. you took a basketball to pass it to ten. “is he still mad about me calling him a jerk? that was a few days ago and i didn’t expect him to be that sensitive.”

they laughed because they couldn’t deny his obvious trait. “he doesn’t show it but somehow you know he is.” ten passed the ball back to you. “but not this morning y/n. he’s late for.. another reason.”

you hopped to catch it yet you were a second late, and groaned as you had to run far to retrieve it. “uh-huh. nature calls in the morning, again?” you yelled.

“do you think she knows about jaehyun?” jungwoo asked the older ones. they eyed you rummaging in the bushes for the ball, later looking back at each other for answers, but no one knew how your mind worked. “it’s been five days and no word from her at all.”

“if she actually does, i guess she just doesn’t want to be involved? i think we can trust her for that.” kun drank from his bottle.

ten didn’t look convinced. “involved or not, we have to make sure she doesn’t tell anyone about jaehyun’s curse. keep an eye on her-”

“ah!” they heard your squeals and ruffles from the bushes. “guys look what i found!”

kun sighed when they saw you running back with a golden retriever puppy in your arms, taking back his words said earlier.

“uh-oh. that scream means she has no clue at all.” jungwoo brushed his hair up.

“this puppy is so cute! i wonder what it’s doing here? are you lost?” you hugged and sniffed into its fur and gosh it smelled like vanilla shampoo. there was a metal collar around its neck, the piece spelled “jj”. “aww it has a name!”

no matter how happy you looked from the boys, they couldn’t help but take a photo of you and ‘puppy’ jaehyun. they had to tell you before it was too late. the golden hour in the morning was shorter than sunset, so either they would tell you straight up, or let jaehyun transform back to human.

but guess what? they were too late. they shouldn’t have second-guessed.

what had happened was way beyond your comprehension. it was in an instant. all it felt in totality was that, you weren’t carrying a puppy anymore. you lost balance and the weight in your arms doubled or tripled, you couldn’t tell. but you knew you were falling backwards. was there to brace for impact? none.

you blinked several times from the orange sunrise blinding your vision from the window. slowly you got up to sit and soothe the pain. that hurt..

here’s the thing. remember you mentally told yourself you hoped you didn’t run into any naked boy in the basketball team’s showers? there you have it. you jinxed it. jaehyun’s figure was on top of yours and you knew he had no clothes on. oh goodness.

“hyung? you forgot your lunch box- oh.” sungchan barged in the scene and everyone could tell he sort of malfunctioned. he froze then facepalmed.

you took turns into looking at the embarrassed jaehyun and at the boys who whistled to avoid the numbers of questions you were going to ask.

kun quickly shielded your eyes where your doubts were showing in your face. and no matter how much thought hard, you just couldn’t believe it. with fear written all over you, you dusted your pants and hands reached kun’s arm to support your weight.

“oh so you shielded her eyes but not my body?!” jaehyun’s voice entered your ears and you swore there was a hint of puppy whimper.

“this is a dream.. right?..” you asked before you fainted.

sungchan managed to save you from the fall. “whoa! ah, i had a feeling something like this would happen.”

—

“was she always like that?” minnie took a peep of your classroom, her eyes showed confusion. “is she tired?”

lisa shrugged and in her innocence she pursed her lips. “i don’t know. she’s been sighing a lot for the past hour? i wanna ask her but it might be too personal.”

you could her them and they were wrong. it was nothing personal at all. you’ve been sighing because you didn’t know how it was possible but it just happened— right before your eyes. since then you hoped that science could explain but not even the smartest people could give you a conclusion. you’ve been called out from lessons that came in the day and not that you didn’t blame jaehyun.

because for one thing, he at least told you the truth and the answer to your question as to why he had to make you leave that day. you propped your chin on your palms from jaehyun’s warning: “tell anyone i swear i’ll make you run a hundred laps with no water breaks.”

but the other thing? he was naked. and that’s not something you could erase in your memories overnight.

you let out a small whine that led to minnie and lisa copying your position, obviously making fun of you. “seriously, not a good time.” you laid on the table and hid from them. “don’t ask me anything.”

minnie and lisa looked at each other as you were being unreasonable and already gotten them curious with your remark. they both grabbed each of your arm, tugging on your sleeves where they begged nonstop for you tell them what had happened. they knew it was about the basketball team.

since you started to train and be with them, you’ve never complained. because if you did, coach jung would add another exercise for you, in which you knew you couldn’t handle. broken bones and sore muscles awaited for you. so you chose not to utter a single sigh, but you were careless just now and there was no escaping from these best friends of yours.

“c’mon y/n! tell us the deets! you sighing could only mean one thing.. did someone confess to you?” minnie closed her eyes and a wide smile suddenly became shrieks of laughter when you facepalmed. “oh who in the basketball team confessed?” she singsonged.

it’s not really a confession, jaehyun being a golden puppy is a secret that was never meant to be revealed but i happened to see him transform-

“what if it’s not a guy? maybe two? or three? oh gosh this is like a reverse harem anime-” lisa began to hype an awful assumption but you covered her lips. and plus? her voice was loud and how embarrassing it would be when the rest of the class heard it.

you were already restless at their energy. “none you idiots. i was sighing because i didn’t know that people with dimples would be that attractive.” you tried to divert the topic.

“pfft you’re talking about jung jaehyun?” lisa raised her brows and grinned teasingly to get a reaction from you.

“no, i’m taking about coach jung.” you hit her arm.

“but jaehyun’s his carbon copy, so you’re basically saying he’s handsome too.” minnie quickly rebutted.

“i mean, coach’s the original face so he’s definitely more handsome-” you paused. shoot they nearly got you to a corner. “wait- why are we talking about this? i thought we’re talking about me.”

“ah you were paying attention to our conversation?” minnie’s eyes grew.

“you’re not telling us anything dimwit.” lisa hit you back.

couple of squeals echoed the corridor and your classroom door crowded with people. apparently jaehyun stood by the door frame and scanned the room looking for you. when he spotted you, his face bubbled up and literally glided his way to your seat. you could tell he was slightly fuming, but you didn’t know what reason. “y/f/n! come here for a second!” he grabbed your wrists and pulled you up from your chair.

you tried to catch up with his pace as he continued to pull you. “let me go!”

jaehyun did in fact let go of you, but he instead led you to hit your back against numerous lockers. the squeals didn’t stop there and how that you were the centre of attention amongst all of the students, you had endure this for a little while. he was staring into your soul, eyes piercing that could strain yours, you knew he was pissed about something.

he slammed his forearms at the space right above your head, then the screams of giddy began to grow louder. you managed to see your friends at the far end of the corridor. they were smiling and lisa mouthed ‘kabedon’, making you flustered than you already were. “what do you want?” you asked.

“i thought i made myself clear?” jaehyun smirked as he felt you quiver against his skin. he leaned lower that his whispers tickled your ear. “did you tell anyone? your friends?”

“i’m not gonna risk my health for some dumb secret.” you rolled your eyes and crossed arms.

“please it’s not like our training puts your life on jeopardy-” jaehyun butted back.

“it’s safe with me. if there’s anything you’re worried about, just look at your fanbase. you’re making them sad.” you sighed, walking away and through the girls who has been following jaehyun around.

jaehyun exhaled at a rather slow pace. he liked your reaction and was aware of their presence. and in order to shoo them away, he had to do what he did. he just hoped you’d notice that too. “see you after school!” he yelled.

you briefly stopped in your tracks at his greet, you continued walking and pulled your girls away from the scene. you didn’t pay any attention, but you knew they couldn’t contain their smiles appearing on their faces.

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the bags full of foldable cones fell to the floor. the rest of the team turned to your direction, who already made mistakes on the first day of camp. they knew that you were obviously flabbergasted with your encounter. it was funny that you managed to stride your way so quickly towards jungwoo— he was very much entertained with your expression. “i know right? that was me earlier.” he stroked the large pup.

“h-how did puppy grow so big? that’s an adult sized dog! you stuttered but hiding your love for golden retrievers just wasn’t possible. there were times you forgot that this was actually jaehyun. “it’s only been a week.”

“yeah i’d like to know the reason too.”

suddenly you heard jaehyun’s voice. it felt like he was close to your ears again, but he wasn’t anywhere near you.

remains of memories probably were still in you head. you wouldn’t say you were traumatised, just surprised. why the hell am i hearing his voice? you shook the thought off at first but then again-

oi y/n. beside you. i’m talking to you!

what?

you gasped and fell on your butt. the pup’s ears were on alert and you knew he was hearing you too. “you can hear me?” jaehyun’s dog form practically towered on your fallen self. you avoided his look although the pup was so cute. his paws poked your shoulders, whiskers twitching as he waited for your response. “don’t look away! you can hear me right??”

all the guys could see was jaehyun staring down at you. and while you did the same, your knitted brows only meant something was definitely going on. they wanted to know. “what’s wrong y/n?”

your lips shook in heavens knows it was fear. “you’re asking me what’s wrong? why can i hear jaehyun? can you hear jaehyun? oh my g- this is really really weird-”

“you can?” they scooted closer to you, very much intrigued with your gift.

“and you all can’t?” you pushed jaehyun away for his body was weighing you down. he whimpered and got up to sit in front of the boys too.

they shook their heads vigorously. “only sungchan and coach were able to hear him.” kun stated, typing on his cellphone to inform his family.

“y/n! let’s talk when i transform back!” jaehyun’s paws kept poking you again. you glared at him with a loud hiss. his ears were alert, he didn’t realise that he was clawing you already, and turned a few rounds before he was laying like a bagel-shaped position.

jaehyun thought it was pretty strange. never in his life were there any people who could actually converse with him telepathically. other than his family, you were the first and he was determined to find out why this impossibility was made possible. there was a spark of hope forming in his heart at this sudden revelation. the glow from the orange light then shone above your head, marking the end of sunrise.

you looked at jaehyun’s dog form, it was- correction, he was.. quiet, and was still staring at you as if you were his master. he laid on this front legs, snout on the ground. huh, he can actually be behaved. footsteps were closing in. at the distance, coach jung walked with lisa and minnie, who were in their cheerleading uniforms. right, you forgot that they were also included in the annual athletes camp.

for a moment you panicked because you knew jaehyun would transform back from being a dog. ten and rest knew more people shouldn’t know about jaehyun’s curse. they were glad you read the atmosphere too. seeing jaehyun’s jersey in his duffel bag, you grabbed it and wore it on the animal.

coach jung made eye contact to your direction. he diverted the girls’ attention, and led them away from the basketball court. they headed towards the storage to “retrieve” some equipment.

jaehyun grunted and growled, his fangs tried to bite your skin. however, goldens were known for having a soft jaw, so his bites weren’t that painful. when you finally managed to put the jersey on him, jungwoo couldn’t catch up. “why let him wear the jersey?” he questioned.

“so he wouldn’t transform back naked when lisa and minnie arrives.” you pointed out the obvious.

ten held his laugh in. you recognised this tone, and prepared what came after. “heh..” he trailed off. “is it because you want to keep jaehyun to yourself?”

you continuously threw random items at him as heat spread to your cheeks. “screw you!” you scoffed. “get jaehyun to wear his pants. i have to pack a lot of things before we head onto the bus.”

“yes ma’am.” ten nudged your shoulder. “i’m kidding y/n. don’t take my jokes seriously.“

“it’s fine.” you picked up the fallen cones. “you’re worried about people knowing his curse. so i’m just doing my part to keep it secret.”

he pursed his lips and his heart softened at your willingness to help. “hm, i guess i can trust you after all.” ten opened the bag to help you pack. “oh! and also, jae in his dog form already is naked anyway.”

“you think i’m not aware of that?” you rolled your eyes.

your friends already have settled themselves inside the coach bus and you were seated in between them. now they would get to witness you with the team and hoped for a budding romance with any of the boys. you lowered your face under a cap to pretend you were sleeping, but in reality you just wanted to avoid lisa and minnie’s bombardment.

few rows at front, jaehyun stared by the window, deep in thought. rarely spoke a word since they started their journey to the retreat campsite. why was his hunch telling him to get closer to you? why could you hear him and he could hear you? he slightly turned to his side between the gaps of two seats. seeing you giggling with your friends had him rethinking if what happened earlier was just his imagination. he wondered why you purposely ignore him after he transformed back.

he slid lower from his seat. “i’d understand if this was a soulmate thing, but it’s not.” jaehyun sighed heavily where he broke the silence and supposedly ending the conversation earlier. now that he wanted to talk about it, his friends were still up for the news.

“oh yeah. those things are going on. except it only happens to some people.” kun popped a chip in his mouth.

“i just don’t get it. dad told me that never occurred to anyone with this curse.” he stole the bag of chips from the younger one to relieve his emotions.

jungwoo’s pursed his lip in wonder. “maybe the curse in another light has its own blessing? maybe you guys are soulmates?”

“nah, impossible.” they all said simultaneously.

“it’s a possibility-” jungwoo’s face soured where wrinkles appeared on the sides as the boys flared at him.

jaehyun shrugged not knowing what to say. his friends have bizarre ideas throughout the journey, and he wouldn’t say they were wrong either. all he could do was to wait until the next transformation. maybe you would say your thoughts about it through telepathy.

he would know if time passed quickly when he didn’t pay attention to anyone. one of them was the number of times you waved in front of his face to snap him back to earth. “jaehyun?” you laid on the ground and called out, panting to catch air after your successful reps. you tugged the ends of his track pants.

“hm?” he hummed, looking for your voice until he got annoyed with your repetitive pulls of his clothes. “ah stop that. i have to report your record to coach. come with?”

“do i really have to?” you whined. “i could barely stand, my legs are wobbly and i’m hungry.”

jaehyun rolled his eyes and took your hand, pulling you up on your toes. “then let’s grab something to eat on our way to the camp, hm?”

you gulped at the sudden gesture, even more so when you noticed your heart beating faster around him. somehow your sixth sense told you your friends were somewhere in the woods looking at you, and you were right.

minnie had her binoculars by her eyes as you and jaehyun headed in another direction back to everyone else were. she held in her excitement with a huge inhale. out of curiosity lisa stole the binoculars from her. a growing smile showed her pearly whites when within its frame, jaehyun was pushing you from the back before he took your hand again because of how slow you were. “min, consider your reverse harem dream for y/n over. we found her leading man.”

—

“few more reps y/n! do it properly this time?”

jaehyun rubbed his face, raising his tone in question of your athleticism. it was the second and final day of your assessments. your core should be able to get used to the pressure if you’ve done the reps for two straight days. so as of today you salute to all people who persevered and with great stamina. you just.. weren’t that person.

you’ve grown conscious now that jaehyun’s friends were watching a few metres away. you’d prefer kun counting and timing your exercises over him. in contrast, kun’s a little more understanding than the hotheaded jaehyun. “if i say i can’t, shouldn’t you consider stopping here? it’s the last one anyway so put random number on the blank or something.” you struggled to lift yourself up from the ground, arms in an ‘x’ position over your torso.

“is that so? then you wouldn’t mind if i write ‘0’ for the final count?” jaehyun checked the stopwatch while his knees put enough weight on your feet. “at least do five more?” he sat on the soles of his shoes.

“ugh! fine!” you tsked and did sit ups slowly, eyes shut closed.

jaehyun smirked with how determined you were in finishing. and he has gotta credit you for having the last brain cell to endure his overly playful bossiness and plans up his sleeves.

but even his friends has something up in their sleeves. they whispered to each other and nodded heads as excitement already boosted their anticipation. ten cupped his mouth then giving the raised brows as signal to start. “y/n! jaehyun’s recording your expression with his phone!” ten yelled.

jungwoo’s mouth widened and followed along. “jae! there’s a bee behind you!”

“what?!”

“where?!”

the moment you froze and opened your eyes after bringing yourself up, and jaehyun leaned forwards to avoid the insect, was way too hilarious for the guys to see. both of your faces were centimetres away from each other and jaehyun’s ears already tinted pink. jaehyun already found it awkward to help you for three days, but he never prepared himself for something like this.

as his friends bursting out laughing, that was when he realised it was all their plan. you were still too close to him, so he cleared his throat to cut the gap between. “is that a pimple on your nose?” he asked, only for his nose to be smacked and soon be numbed. “agh!”

what the- “jerk! don’t point it out!” you kicked him and rolled sideways to stand up, angrily leaving the area with the sheet in your hands. “i’ll give this to the coach!”

jaehyun held his nose and walked back to the guys, who were still laughing their butts off and rolling on the ground. “you can stop now.”

“oh that was funny! it was like a typical ‘ba-dump’ scene in a rom-com!” jungwoo wiped a tear.

“should’ve recorded it!” kun threw his head back while his hand rested on his heaving chest.

“no worries! at least it’s recorded in jaehyun’s mind!” ten cheered with closed fists.

“it’s embarrassing!” jaehyun threw his towel.

bonfires were mandatory at the start and end of the camp. however, because of your assessment, coach jung had negotiate with the other members of the basketball to get to the campsite a day before the other teams actually arrived at night. so for the kun and the rest, they had a little more free time than jaehyun. and him being the coach’s son.. he didn’t have the same benefits. he was stuck with you because he had to keep an eye on you while

he thought being with you would only be for the first two days, then he would go for his training. and yet here you were, sitting beside him in front of the bonfire while everyone else arrived and other danced to their hearts’ content. maybe he could ask you about the telepathy thing? but figuring you were cranky from earlier, he held back.

“can i ask more about your curse? if it’s okay with you to tell me.”

jaehyun nodded, you had the right to. not because you accidentally picked a random puppy then saw him naked few moments later. you could hear him in your head, and that was enough reason to tell you rather than a general information about it. “yeah. i’m okay with it.”

“you said your ancestors had the curse too. was there any specific reason why they had to suffer that your family and you had to be the..” you paused for a while. jaehyun was waiting for your next words, you guessed it was alright to say it. “..collateral damage?”

“right. i didn’t tell you more of it yeah?” he sniffed from the chilly night. “i don’t know how far back in the years it happened. but they said the head of the family casted out his wife because he assumed he cheated on him. he was the only person the wife ever treasured, so when she was accused, she took his pet and killed it. the head found out, he cursed her that her descendants turn into animals. and we’re the descendants of that woman.”

“that’s awful.” you cleared your throat. “i’m sorry you have to suffer the curse.”

“you don’t have to be. i’m just trying to cope with it.” jaehyun chuckled. “how awesome would it be if there was a way to reverse everything.”

“gotta find the blessing then.” you laid on the grass.

jaehyun’s face wrinkled in disgust. “okay you sound like jungwoo.”

“at least appreciate me for trying to lift your spirits up.”

he hummed in agreement.

“or you can just.. let the blessing find you.” you singsonged as you realised how corny you actually sounded.

“fine, and if it’s you?” he had to give a hint of the telepathic communication.

“because i can hear you when you’re in your retriever form? i’m not exactly a blessing but yeah i’d like to know how telapthy works too.” you stared back at the bonfire, flames flickering as the smoke flew in the air. as of tonight, you wanted to be that person who’d be the igniter of that hope he held on. “if i could help out a little, i’ll be happy to help.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

lisa and minnie stared at you, both had their palms under their chins as if their silence asked you to talk. “i can’t eat when the two of you are like this. it’s very disturbing.” you gripped on your fork, hesitant to eat as you took glances between the food and them.

you knew what they were going to ask. not like you didn’t want to share, it was just that you knew them well enough that they wouldn’t stop once they start. the food was getting cold every second passed, due to the wind outdoors, it was more vulnerable. lisa stretched her elbows while holding her poms to be noticed. five days have gone by and even though you were rarely with them in all those days, she had to ensure you’d tell them about the basketball team and your leading man— although you had no idea about that.

“any updates?” she raised her brows.

“nothing is happening with me or anyone in the team, if that’s what you both wanted to know.” you sighed. “i’m just simply taking down minutes.” you said sternly, kind of regret that you answered her and swirled the noodles with your fork.

“are you sure? twelve members should be enough for that.” minnie tied her shoelaces and bent down with a pressed smile when you pout. she softened her gaze when you were telling the truth and that their teasing should stop there. but they knew that the team should know something about you.

“they’re divided into teams. some did the score board while others practiced on their own. of course i have to be the one- why are you pulling my arm?” you asked and eyed them as if they stained your clothes.

lisa twirled on her toes and posed with her arm rested on her waist. “you’re being quiet again.”

“i’m not?” you said monotonously while you munched on your food.

she sighed and grabbed your chin. “you don’t look at me when you’re lying.” she hummed, yet you didn’t respond. “what’s up y/n? something’s on your mind i can tell.”

in fact a lot of things were.

so far in the week, you’ve helped jaehyun theorise solutions to end his curse after practice. not only for him, but his family and extended family too. some have passed not having to enjoy their lives, while others chose to hide themselves from the world. and a small percentage of the family tree actually tried to live through it— that was jaehyun’s family. coach jung was as determined as jaehyun to put a stop into this curse.

not only that thought alone. to you, jaehyun has been rather noticeable. even if you weren’t thinking of him, he’d appear out of nowhere— during your breaks, on your night-walks alone or even heading to the toilet. you’d always bump into him and his presence seemed to be marked in your consciousness now. not that you liked him around, it was just captain was more friendly than others made him out to be. “really, it’s nothing.”

to say that jaehyun didn’t feel same was definitely an understatement. since the start of the freshman year, he knew you were the loud girl with the two hot cheerleaders, but always wondered why you’ve never joined the team. sometimes he would catch you sitting at one corner, dancing along with the routines aside from cheering your friends on as he was heading to practice.

now he took a peek of you eating alone while lisa and minnie showed off their new uniforms. he was about to call you out to help the team, but the girls pulling you almost immediately once you were done had him holding back. “chaeyeon will be arriving soon, and remember the dare was to wear our uniform.” minnie giggled while you begged her to stop, to the point you nearly cried thinking about it. “you agreed to it-”

“i didn’t agree to it! you agreed for me! i had no say!”

jaehyun’s eyes widened at the thought of you in uniform. your yells were getting louder and pitchier. should he be your knight and shining armour? probably not. he’d like to have something to tease you about. for a moment there was silence, he hid behind the corner of a storage building. you were still telling your friends to stop doing what they were doing. but it was two against one, and he knew you were at the losing end.

the door slammed open, your huffs and puffs getting heavier and closer to where he was. jaehyun’s heart beat so fast that when he finally decided to call out your name, you bumped into him and he caught you to prevent you from falling. “i was about to fetch you, manager.”

you felt heat spread your entire cheek because of the attire you were forced to wear. “well you did and i’m here. can we go? my friends are giving me the stares.”

“fiesty, but i think you look alright.” he chuckled when you grumpily walked ahead. jaehyun followed you from behind with his hands in pockets.

what does he mean by that?

lisa and minnie pursed their lips, soon bursting into giddy squeals and continuously fanning each other from what they saw yet the second time. “he was really checking her out.” minnie laughed.

“his ears said it all.” lisa checked her watch on her wrist. “basketball team’s practice match is starting soon. wanna sit in?”

“girl you bet i will.”

even hours later you blew your baby fringes blocking your view. as you flipped the score board and whistles for a time-out echoed the outdoor gym, your friends could tell how uncomfortable you were but they’d do nothing to get more reactions from you. they liked that you entertained them. and what choice did you have? chaeyeon was already taking pictures of you in the uniform you despised wearing.

coach jung briefed the team information on their opponents this season. you wrote down important points, feeling the chill of the early sunset. you couldn’t wait to change into actual soft and comfy clothes, mosquitoes weren’t your friends.

jaehyun listened to his dad repeating the same points- mostly because he got the advice first before others. he heard you hiss several times, you were supposed to jot the notes down. then it got frequent. he tiptoed to see you opposite from him, shooing the bugs away. of course you were still wearing the cheer uniform. he didn’t want to draw attention, so he stealthy walked behind the guys and straight to you.

“trouble?” he asked.

“just a little chilly, that’s all. meeting’s nearly done yeah?” you hugged the file to your chest.

“say so if you’re cold.” he took his jacket off and draped it on your shoulder.

“and who am i to tell to?” your voice challenging him.

he hummed so low that it almost lulled you to sleep. “me. i’m not the captain for nothing.”

you were both busy talking that you and him weren’t aware of time nor anyone else close by. mind you that minnie and lisa were watching the whole thing. you managed to smile even if you were crossed with how you were dressed. like you enjoyed his company.

they couldn’t hear your conversation, nor were your lips were moving. but the body language they saw already proved and confirmed their assumption. they had to tell you. they went straight to you once the meeting was over, and pulled you aside whilst jaehyun was talking about his childhood.

jaehyun raised a brow and chuckled as you were being pulled away. his friends immediately surround him, bombarding him with questions that he wasn’t paying attention to the meeting. “dude, your time’s near.” ten smacked him on the back.

“don’t make it sound like i’m dying, ten.” jaehyun rolled his eyes, but whenever he did, they were always fixated on you. he couldn’t shake off the feeling you were that something to solve the curse.

“be alert than be busted.” ten shrugged, head tilting to where you were. your friends were busy recording you and giggles filled the air. “how are you so calm now jae?”

jaehyun pursed his lips. “with her, there’s no way i’m calm at all.”

“okay now i can’t tell if that answer was from human jaehyun or doggy jaehyun.” jungwoo pointed out.

his friends all looked at each other, jaehyun wasn’t his usual self. it was as if he was dazed but was able to converse with them properly. slowly his naturally peach-like fuzzy cheeks grew more fur, his tail started to reveal. although they were quick enough to hide jaehyun, they didn’t realise the commotion that came afterwards and drew everyone’s attention.

you swifted your head at the boys’ yells and gathering circle, faintly hearing jaehyun’s refusal into whatever they got him into. “stop it! hey!” he hissed.

jungwoo, a little too excited of the drama going on, spotted you looking at them and gestured you to come over too. your friends built up a curiosity and went ahead of you. as for you, you were mentally tired to think of anything.

not until you heard kun’s wavering yet convincing words. “uh.. y’all wanna see magic?” he chuckled nervously as he knew what jaehyun would do to him after all this was over. “quickly because it’ll happen soon!”

you held in a laugh at jaehyun when he was forced to sit down on the grass to hide his tail. “i’ve been trying to master this for months and i thank jaehyun as my participant. who loves animals? give me a name.”

most hands were up and the answers were said at the same time. some didn’t believe him, but others have seen kun’s little magic tricks over the days. so something of a huge scale like this already got them curious than ever.

“ah i hear great ones but i’ll choose dog. now i’ll turn jaehyun into a golden retriever.” he draped a blanket above his friend.

ten and jungwoo bit their lips to contain themselves, holding onto each other as they filmed this once-in-a-lifetime event. the circle enlarged in scale with the poor lad at the center and the golden hour shone over everyone.

“in 3.. 2.. 1..” kun only snapped his fingers then the blanket shrunk in size. your schoolmates were convinced that something was actually happening.

and it was amusing because you were able to hear jaehyun swearing so much in your head.

you let out a giggle. jaehyun was soon surrounded by everyone who wanted to pet him. even your friends went over to the animal. “at least pretend to be happy for them. goldens are known for being clowns.” you told him.

*sighs* “tell kun i’m gonna kill him.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the silence was all jaehyun ever wanted after the shock he had to go through from kun’s improv few days ago. he’d be thankful for a moment because he actually forgot the gideon hour at the time, but he would soon later be clouded with annoyance that he should’ve been informed beforehand of his actions— not only kun, the others included. they’ve got a part in this too.

his friends seated side by side with bruises and bandages on their faces, jaehyun still giving them the silent treatment. he was cranky about that, yet even more so when there was no progress into finding a solution to his curse. “jae. we said we’re sorry.” jungwoo apologised and felt that he was the only one giving effort to talk to jaehyun compared to kun and ten.

“and i said it’s fine. so stop saying that before i actually don’t forgive you.” jaehyun pressed the bridge of his nose.

after walking up the slope to the cabin with heaves of breaths, you managed to hear their conversation before opening the door. “i refilled your bottles.” you threw them on a duffle bag, not caring whether either of them rolled away. “i have to apologise too, jaehyun. i haven’t come up with anything to help you.” true enough because you couldn’t think straight or have the energy to use your remaining brain cells for that matter.

“ugh it’s fine. i’m not in a rush or anything. not even assigning you to solve within the duration of the camp.” jaehyun squeezed the bottle as thirst continued to drive him crazy, the heat as well, so he removed his tshirt. you averted your gaze and looked elsewhere. maybe you were still a little bothered seeing him half naked after the incident?

ten sought the opportunity and decided to fan the flame even more. “why look away when you’ve seen him already?”

he managed to dodge your hits and you turned around embarrassed. jaehyun could see you fanning yourself from the heat. “it was an accident!” you cleared your throat.

“gah i’m tired. we’re done with practice. we get a day off tomorrow, so can’t we watch a movie? who has disney plus?” jungwoo wiped himself with a towel.

“i do.” kun brought out his ipad. “what do you wanna watch?”

“i haven’t watched that one.”

“beauty and the beast?”

“o-kay, i’ll be going now.” you yawned as you began to feel the exhaustion take over your body. “see you tomorrow.”

the door closed and suddenly you remembered a funny memory last halloween when taeil dressed himself as belle. he blended in with the other ladies that you didn’t realise it was him. either it was the wig’s work or just taeil in general. you found it funny when a bunch of young teens become children again as disney’s mentioned.

your phone vibrated with your friends asking to help them out with their practice. “i came to the camp for the basketball team, not you two.” you left a voice mail. all you wanted was to rest up today. not until a certain realisation hit you hard.

because what if?

it hasn’t been that long since you left the cabin when the boys jolted from their positions. their peace and concentration on the movie already ruined by you. “oh my goodness i think i got it?” you slammed the door.

jaehyun sat up and set his phone aside. “you’re saying it a question rather than a discovery. not convinced.”

“will you be when i tell you if it’s based on that movie?” you pointed at the tablet.

he trailed his eyes to the screen then back at you, a more confused expression on his face. “you expect me to find someone to love me so my curse will be lifted?”

“pfft nah kidding, you don’t seem that loveable anyway.” you stole a lollipop from ten. “okay bye for reals.”

as the door closed, ten unwrapped another lollipop. “bet you he’s thinking of his potential ‘belle’.” ten nudged the boys.

“shut up. i’m not going to base my life on a fictional movie.”

“but it could be y/n. i mean she can hear you.” jungwoo paused the film.

“it’s not going to be her and it doesn’t prove anything.”

jaehyun thought a lot for two things— you keeping his hopes up, the other was you setting his heart in a frenzy and he always hated that feeling. he groaned and dragged himself to bed to place a towel over his face. sure he’ll hold on to that idea you came up with for now. however it didn’t prove on telepathy.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

your heart missed a beat when jaehyun waited for you in front of the cabin you stayed at. he thought you bumping into his torso wasn’t a good way to greet in the morning, whereas you feeling some fur on his tshirt as greeting was any different. jaehyun handed you a file and a little note from coach.

while you read it, you could sense jaehyun was staring, like he had something to say. he retracted his lips when your friends appeared behind you with grins annoyingly appearing on their faces. “make it quick captain. we have things to discuss with y/n.”

“yeah sure. i just dropped by to pass this to you. coach said to make copies. i’ll come back after you’re done with breakfast.” he cleared his throat and announced his leave.

“hm. fishy. he could’ve just left it here outside but he seems like he waited for you.” lisa drank from her cup as you all sat and ate breakfast together.

“right? it’s been days he acted that way!” minnie walked back to the table. “he’s indeed a gentleman, but there are times he’s very hard to approach.”

you unwrapped the sandwich and took a bite. “anyway, what is it you guys wanna talk about?”

“lisa will go first. she couldn’t wait.” minnie giggled.

lisa laid out series of pictures of nature she recently took and were indeed beautiful. “oh my goodness they look amazing!” you sat up. “as expected from someone in the photography club. i bet if you submit these to johnny he’ll regret putting you as backup-”

“really?! i took advantage of the retreat and i made sure they were pretty!” lisa interrupted you and placed more pictures down. “these are my favourite! i’m thinking of sending these to johnny instead!”

however your face turned sullen at the next pictures. they were blurry and almost gone, but it was definitely jaehyun at the background, each one showed he was transforming from human to dog. you paused and your heart did the same.

the silence got longer, you knew you had to speak up, but no words came out. “what’s wrong y/n?”

“you can’t submit these to johnny.” you brushed the first batch of pictures aside and bind latest pictures together.

“why not? you supported the rest of them! how could these be not good enough?” lisa’s voice changed in an instant, like you’ve taken away her pride. she sat back with folded arms, her behaviour scared you a little.

minnie slightly wiggled your hand. “hey, are you hearing to yourself y/n?”

“sorry, i know i sound stupid-”

“you are!” lisa huffed where her cheeks blew up. it was cute though.

“but you have to hear me out.” one thing was for sure, your stress levels shot up high if word gets to jaehyun. you had to prepare for the consequences.

“okay, so why can’t i submit them?” lisa sighed.

you held her hand. “it would be alright to, only if these are not in the background.” you said, pointing out a figure at the background of the subject. it all became clear as day to them when they looked closely. “did jaehyun just.. transformed?”

you were surprised with how quick they were able to catch on. as much as you wanted to protect jaehyun’s family curse, things would’ve turn for worst if someone else had noticed it. i’m sorry jaehyun, this is for your own good.

“we believed kun’s ability of illusion and his magic tricks. ten sent us a video of it and it didn’t really occurred to us that the golden was actually jaehyun.” minnie pursed her lips. “if you think about it, he does look like a golden.”

“how is this possible?” lisa asked with a growing smile, but refrained since transforming twice everyday was nothing good anyway.

“i found about his family curse accidentally. he turns into a dog when it’s golden hour, like sunrise and sunset.” you propped on your elbows.

“it’s a curse? poor lad.” minnie gasped.

a rather sad nod caught them off guard. “the coach signed me up to join this retreat. it’s not only for my missed p.e assessments but it was to keep his curse a secret. a-and now that you know, i’ll be damned if word gets to him. so you have to promise me you both don’t say or do anything..“ you sounded as if you begged. that was how much your the friendship you have with jaehyun meant to you.

“and yeah, that’s my answer. the magic trick was just a cover up to hide jaehyun’s dog form.” they listened and were surprised to hear you like this.

your fidgety hands and nervous breathing was too obvious. if jaehyun was just a friend, you wouldn’t act as if he was your- “oh no.” you slumped down on your arms. “why did i..” you mumbled as your feelings for him became clearer to you.

“oh my gosh. you like him! you like jaehyun!” lisa covered her mouth and changed the lingering negative atmosphere.

ba-dump. i..

“then that means your love for golden retrievers doubled!” minnie hugged you.

“no! it’s b-because you’re putting m-me in the spotlight-” you stuttered when they leaned towards you. “i’m gonna go.”

jaehyun flinched even though he was at a distance. your friends were yelling quite excitingly. you were being chased by them and although it was inaudible. he answered his phone as it was ringing for a while. “what, ten?”

“don’t ‘what’ me!” jaehyun tilted his head from his friend’s volume. “jae where are you?”

“i’m at y/n’s cabin and on my way bac-”

“nevermind that. i can see you.”

ten rushed towards him and looked at the cabin. “where’s lisa?” he squinted his eyes.

“just her and minnie chasing y/n out. i don’t know how but they left the door open. what are you doing here anyway?”

he mimicked a photographer’s gesture and pointed at the cabin. “lisa told me her pictures have developed and i’m here to get them.”

jaehyun flicked his forehead. “and you could’ve asked me instead.”

“they’re confidential and i’m shy if anyone sees it.” ten walked to the cabin.

“gross. just get them and head back quickly.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you lost track of the days that have passed and there was an unsettling feeling that stayed in your chest. had it been two or three? you couldn’t remember. the basketball team’s practice matches and drills were normal. but there was a difference in air lingering around jaehyun. he still talked to you, kept the same gentle smile and was caring as usual. except whenever he did those, it seemed like he was distancing himself from you, creating an imaginary wall just to let you know your limits and boundaries.

you’d like to think it was because of the pressure coach has been giving him since the play-offs were close to date. but, it wasn’t all jaehyun who behaved that way. ten also distanced himself, his gaze pierced against your skull and thinking about it only caused you to have migraines. you were more scared of ten.

coach jung have asked you to help the cheerleading team, saying you’ve helped them enough. the amount of appreciation he had for you was too much, you couldn’t ask him about how jaehyun recently. yet this was all too sudden that your gut feeling told you otherwise. you planned to talk to jaehyun after the day ends. because in all honesty, something definitely happened.

and the boys left you out of it.

approaching jaehyun was harder than you thought. now you’ve realised it, he was always the one who took the initiative and you on the receiving end took the benefits of his kindness. it was supposed to be the other way around, so why were you taking advantage of this?

if having feelings for him was the reason for that, then you’re really stupid y/n. you laid on the grass in defeat from your thoughts and closed your eyes. you decided to have some peace and nature was your best friend in time like these. chirping birds and crashing riverbanks-

“jaehyun where are you?!”

ah crap. you twitched hard enough that swarms of goosebumps appeared on the majority of your skin. on your stomach, you hid behind the bushes to see jungwoo and the others struggling to find him. even at the mention of his name you were already feeling shy and flustered.

“is he skipping practice again?”

“ah whatever let’s just leave him.”

“i understand why he’s like that.”

“even i would feel hurt if i were him.”

a heavy and deep audible breath from their sudden entry was difficult to hide your response. you tried to leave as quiet as possible. not wanting to get caught, you had to move stealthily with few glides backwards on your knees, eyes glued to the boys’ actions if they looked elsewhere. when you felt something blocking the soles of your shoes, somehow you knew what it was.

“you’re blocking my way.” jaehyun’s irritated tone made your chest ache— in the most painful impact you never expected from him.

quickly you stood up and made sure you stayed out of sight from the boys. jaehyun scratched his temple at your awkward behaviour. he was already in front of you, why were you hesitating to ask him questions he left unanswered? jaehyun pulled a long face when you still remained silent. “if you’re not gonna speak when you clearly have something to say, do i really have to say it for you?”

what the hell is his problem? what’s with his tone? “yeah as a matter of fact i do. the thing is, i don’t understand why you’re being like this. you ignore me but still talk to me when i don’t help with the team anymore, and for some reason you’re mad at me?” you grimaced while leaning on a tree trunk.

there was cynism in jaehyun’s nods and the swirls of his tongue evident on his cheeks. you hated his attitude and all you wanted was an explanation. “whatever this is, i’ve got no reason for you to doubt me, jaehyun.”

“ah, really? ‘cause you just gave me one.” he fished out something from his pockets and as you watched, the item he was holding was too familiar and they were obviously not his. he flicked the sheets and that was when you confirmed they were the new pictures lisa developed.

why were they with him? at the pit of your stomach, a whirlwind of emotions and stressing pressure began, and you didn’t like the feeling at all. “what-”

he threw the pictures on the floor. “other than my family and friends you’re the only one who knows about my curse! and at some point you go against my back telling them to picture me when i’m left clueless?!”

right now you were really afraid jaehyun’s mood would attract attention.

you closed your eyes as he raised his voice. “look i have no idea how you got those but i promise you i had nothing to do with the picture-” you insisted and could feel your blood pressure rising.

“how- how could you betray me like this?!”

your heart fell and instead of feeling bad about him knowing, you felt your head ache with so much anger building up inside you. because jaehyun didn’t bother to listen or let you explain yourself.

“i found you in the background before lisa actually showed those to johnny! it would spread if she did! where’s the betrayal in that?!”

he stepped closer to you, your entire was itching to run away. “i don’t care! you still told your friends! you could’ve said another excuse like kun’s practicing his magic trick or something! you promised me my secret’s safe with you!”

that’s messed up. i did tell lisa and minnie but not because it was to mock him!

“kun was no where to be seen in the picture! what else can i do? lie to them? i know my friends more than you do and they won’t tell anyone!” you raised your voice as well.

jaehyun scoffed, rolling his eyes. “i don’t trust them!”

“well, i do! and you should trust me!” your tone wavering at all emotions hitting you at once. especially coming from him— the guy you developed feelings for.

“the moment you told them you broke my trust already! what else did you tell them, hm? my dad and brother having the curse too?” he brushed his hair in anger when your silence meant yes. “ugh is this really happening?! you told them everything!”

“okay that’s enough-” your vision blurring from the tears wanting to fall.

“i’m asking what else did you tell them?! dammit y/n what could be so important to you than my secret?!”

“well- i-”

“i what?!”

other than the secret, you knew what went after the reveal. then you realised the weight of your words, you couldn’t tell him that you actually like him. you wanted to be selfish this once. “i can’t.. tell you.”

jaehyun started to harbour more resentment towards your reasoning. he found it ridiculous of you to even continue with this conversation. ten already warned him that the secret wasn’t safe with you in the first place. the glimpse of hope faded when he thought you’d be the key, even if you were, trust was still important to him. it was the very thing his mother lacked and you doing so reminded him of it.

his expression darkened and you were afraid of him— excluding of how cruel he was with you on the exercise reps. you were afraid you just broken a promise and put your friendship on a rocky end.

“so that’s it? i’m begging you with my life on the line and you just gave me the most bullcrap answer!”

“you’re being unreasonable!” you yelled.

“shut up! you found about my curse so you should be the one compromising!”

“y/n!” lisa came running with a panicked face.

tsk, wrong timing. “not now.” you mouthed.

“have you seen my pictures?! i told ten to get them the other day but he got the wrong envelope! it’s the one with jae-” she bent down to catch her breath and was taken aback with jaehyun’s presence. “..hyun.”

the boys followed lisa and once they found their friend, you could tell ten’s stares that felt like daggers. he pulled jaehyun away but eyes still locked on you. “what happened?” lisa asked as you mirrored ten’s expression, but your friends could see the hurt in your eyes.

“he has the pictures. i think ten saw them and gave them to him. jaehyun’s mad, he thinks i betrayed him for telling you-”

“no that’s not it!” lisa held your hand and glared at the boys, especially ten, since he was her childhood friend. “you had every right to tell us because the pictures are my works-”

“shouldn’t have said anything further y/n! you should’ve gotten the pictures and told us instead of them! you promised, remember?” ten finally spoke up.

you rolled your eyes. “and what?! you’re like saying i should risk my friendship for his stupid secret!”

his friends turned heads to jaehyun to see his tight-knit brows and softening demeanour. jaehyun frowned and hurt was evident in his face. he was hurt by you, someone he developed feelings for in a short amount of time. “i believed it when you said you’ll help me. or were.. were all those just words to you?”

ah.. that came out wrong.

you bit your lips to say something, but they left so soon after, making your chest squeeze as if your lungs let out the last bits of oxygen from your body.

shortly over an hour, jungwoo watched his friend pace back and forth, nibbling on his nails when the tension grew in their cabin. “aren’t you too hard on her? you didn’t let y/n explain further-”

“i can’t believe her!” jaehyun crumpled the picture after looking at it. “how could she do this to me?!”

“honestly i just don’t think she’s that type of person to go behind someone’s back for her own entertainment.” kun spoke up and tilted his head, avoiding the cup that smashed on his side of his cheek. “perhaps you’re mistaken.”

jaehyun wasn’t in the right headspace whenever his past trauma was reminded or brought up, so no matter how much reason was given, he wouldn’t listen. “do i have to repeat it? she already had her fun when she told her friends to picture me!”

“your explanations are always so conclusive.” kun sighed.

“and your heart’s too soft as usual, kun! so back off!” jaehyun grabbed the older one’s shoulder and shoved him against the wall.

he released him soon after realising that he didn’t once listen to you, but he was too stubborn to take any more excuses. there was one thing he thought you were wrong— weren’t you risking your friendship with him by exposing his secret he kept so dearly? maybe distancing himself more than he did would clear his mind off from the mess.

—

when all sports teams lined up with their designated coach buses the days after, jaehyun slightly put his chin up to search for you in the crowd— in a subtle manner, since he still stood in his decision into having his space from you yet didn’t want it to be obvious to others that he cared for you still.

you knew he was staring from afar. it was a stupid misunderstanding, both of you were in the wrong, but he made you feel as if you carried the blame for this.

sure that was a given, that he would react worse than expected. you were going to take the pictures from lisa anyway, and the guys wouldn’t know that your friends knew. you didn’t expect you’d burst out of anger or that ten took them before you did and made the assumption. it still drove you mad, ten probably convinced jaehyun of your doing since he didn’t trust you at first.

that aside, you decided to ride the coach bus with the cheerleading team. “when we reach school, you can forget about the basketball team and camp. how dare they hurt you?” minnie hugged you as you stared out the window.

“if i had to weigh it, it’s not me who’s hurting. jaehyun is.” you sighed and pat her back. “how do i act if i bump to any of them? i’ll probably do something stupid again. at all cost, i’mma just- *sigh*”

“she’s talking about jaehyun right?”

“yeah she’s still not straightforward about him.”

“we know she likes him. she doesn’t have to hide it.”

“i can hear you both.” you lowered your hat to avoid their gaze.

jaehyun sat beside his father at the front for a change, playing with the blinds to cover sunlight. coach jung knew his silence more than anyone, even if jaehyun didn’t plan on telling him. “i’ve done what you told me to do. you didn’t want to see y/n after the fight. so? did it to any change?”

“no. i kept my distance and i’ll see if she’ll admit her mistake.” jaehyun adjusted the fan above him.

“jae, if only you saw her reaction when i told her to not come see the team. i know you’re smarter than this. you know it’s not all her fault.”

he clenched his palms hard. crescent moons soon showed themselves on the flesh. “where exactly in this is my fault, dad? have i not been patient to wait for curse to be broken? who said that y/n might have a contribution in this? it’s you, dad. i’m not holding any grudge against y/n. i’m just disappointed at her because she’s nothing i ever imagined her to be. goodness’ sake i even like her.” he mumbled at the last sentence, missing the point that his dad could hear it.

coach jung let out a short laugh at the remark. “not sure if you noticed, you haven’t seen y/n working hard at researching about our curse while you boys practiced. she’s always brainstorming at the possibilities, science or not, she’s always looking for ways. don’t let anger cloud you.” his father paused and had a pressed smile. “..don’t end up having small fights like me and your mother. you wouldn’t want it to be bigger than it already is.”

“yeah.. i know.”

you woke up with a thud and saw a rather prominent bump on your right temple through the reflection of the window. arriving at the campus grounds was quicker than you thought, despite being almost a half day journey. you overheard that the basketball team would stay there a little longer and you had to leave immediately because once everyone has gone home, you’d see him. you didn’t want to risk yourself from being spotted after you both fought.

it was a small matter now that you think about that day. stubbornness outweighed understanding in the two of you, and that resulted in immaturity. and if neither of you were willing to admit, might as well make the first move.

but you were stubborn as he was.

once the coach bus was nearing the parking area, the first and only thing you decide to do was get out of the vehicle and head straight home. you wouldn’t let your friends speak and looked at their bus. there sat jaehyun fiddling with the curtain. you then rushed out, covering your face from the basketball team as they too were getting off. “is that what she meant ‘at all costs’?” minnie facepalmed as she saw you walking away quickly.

“oh look, there’s y/n.” coach jung tapped the window to make jaehyun notice you. the way you behaved was weird for him, because it was too obvious you were avoiding getting seen.

“i don’t care.”

“it means you do.” his father messed his son’s hair. “okay, off you go. i’ll cancel the extra practice today and let all of you rest up during the weekend.”

jaehyun’s lips agape at his father’s last minute decision. he wore his cap and slung his bag. “if you’re doing this and expect i’d make up with her, you’ll regret ever cancelling practice.”

“ah c’mon. your old man is helping you out with a girl. can’t you tell what i’m doing, jae?” he laughed at his son’s reaction. he could see himself in jaehyun and knew things would get better.

“it won’t work dad.”

he rolled his eyes and went to where the bikes were parked. he kicked the stand at the rear wheel when his friends caught up to him with their own bikes. goodness why can’t they just leave me alone? “what do you want?” he stood a little to pedal ahead.

kun rode along beside him, eyes alternating at and on the road. “what now? you’re just going to pretend you didn’t see y/n? like nothing happened?”

“how can i ignore that when her figure’s so obvious and literally running away from here? i’m not going to do anything about-”

jungwoo then sighed heavily, causing jaehyun to knit brows. “she looked over our bus you dimwit! that means she thought of talking to you but held back because of-”

“i’ll talk to y/n in my own terms and in my own time! stop forcing me to do things when you think it would work well for me!” jaehyun pressed on the brakes with his palms.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

kun and jungwoo’s eyes followed your swirling fork and the silent air that had been going for half an hour. they thought knocking onto the doors of jaehyun’s closed heart was hard, never expected yours was harder. you wouldn’t say anything after they invited you, claiming they missed you around them.

because it had been two full semesters since then. from what the boys told you, jaehyun lost focus and couldn’t lead the team to the championships. he always fought with his father and would burst in anger, throwing unnecessary fits towards them even though they worked hard to reach the quarterfinals.

this behaviour would happen so often that it began to strain his relationships with everyone on the team. the transformation did a lot worse to his body, he’d get sick and weak, and for over months, he would not transform back immediately within the golden hour ended. it lasted longer. sometimes even the morning after.

it worried them that if jaehyun given up all hope and continued to act that way, the urge to find the solution would never take place. and that he would remain an animal forever. even so, you knew their intentions to invite you today despite feeling sad for jaehyun. and you prepared your answer before they could speak.

“y/n-”

“as much as i love to stay, i’m here to tell you you’ve wasted your efforts. if jaehyun won’t talk to me.. then i’ll just keep giving him space until he apologises first.” you were already losing appetite talking about it.

“and you think waiting game would pull off too, hm?” kun’s dimple deepened, a flat smile seen on the exterior.

you put down your fork. “i didn’t think we’ll last this long not talking-”

ten smirked in disbelief, you forgot he was there too. his presence was almost non-existent as he kept quiet the whole time. “keep it like that. you’re held accountable for making jaehyun the way he is now.”

“ten!” kun scowled at the guy. “i told you not to talk.”

you rolled your eyes that his words hurt more than the eye roll. “why is he here anyway? you said it’ll only be the two of you. unbelievable.”

“to see if you came up with a solution to lift jaehyun’s curse. looking at you now, i guess you didn’t.” he said and you tried your best to refrain yourself from hitting him. “were you mocking him when you suggested it might be the same answer as that disney film?”

“i said as a joke but it might be a possibility. we live in a world where people go through inexplainable experiences that science couldn’t dive in deep.” you sighed.

jungwoo tapped the table to stop the bickering you and ten were starting. “like my hunch says, maybe it’s another soulmate thing i’ve mentioned to you guys at the camp.”

“it’s not a soulmate thing, jungwoo.” kun and ten said simultaneously.

you brought out an a5 sized sealed envelope and the action alone made the boys stunned. “don’t open this. just give it to him. anyway, the sun’s setting. i really have to go.” you passed the item to kun.

it’s suffocating. i can’t stay here long. they saw how hesitating your limbs were, your eyes averting them and clearing your throat several times.

“ten, does this look like she didn’t do anything? this proves she’s trying.” kun took the envelope and hit it on ten’s head.

as you put on your coat whilst standing next to the table, ten sat back with arms crossed. “acting smart, aren’t you? you really think you’re the belle for jaehyun huh? i wouldn’t believe that for a second.”

“i didn’t say anything about me being the solution. i’m still keeping my promise to help him. and trust me, i don’t think i’m belle either.” you grabbed your bag and left, your food gone cold and jungwoo sighed at the air turning worse thanks to ten.

the cash money was placed on the table when kun called the waiter. “please keep the change.” he looked at your slouching figure by the bus stop across the restaurant. it screamed sadness and hurt all over.

the reason for suddenly leaving wasn’t because you were offended with what ten said. of course there was truth in his words. at some point you thought you were someone important to jaehyun, since you could hear him.

you thought you both were soulmates.

you left because you spotted a familiar figure standing by the door. haven’t been seeing him lately only made you feel angry at yourself. you were a coward, you even passed the envelope to the boys instead of giving it to jaehyun yourself. your friends already encouraged you about it, that that was the only thing to narrow the gap between you and jaehyun. it was to show that you were still supporting him.

why are you like this y/n? if you like him, you’d do anything to get his attention and forgiveness. why are you doing things to push him away, rather.. why are you forcing yourself to not care when you still do?

you continued to walk with your head low for another hour, troubled in your thoughts as they’ve been bothering you for many months. snap out of it y/n-

*tug*

*scratch*

the hems of your baggy jeans were pulled and torn with minimal, adorable force. it took you a while to process the animal before you. a blue bunny, what’s a bunny doing here- oh.

“sungchan?”

—

he rose from the bushes in front of their house. you stood there awkwardly while he figures to cover his body after the blue hour. “i’m sorry for asking you to bring me home. i get tired from hopping sometimes.” he grabbed a towel that he was hanging by the gate.

“no worries. i-i’ve seen- nevermind.” your voice softened at the latter.

sungchan pursed his lips to refrain himself from smiling since he was there and witnessed when it happened. “come in, i’ll make you some tea. it’s my way of thanks.”

although he was kinder than his brother, probably more mature, he was still young that you could see through his intentions. you knew he wanted some patching up done between you and jaehyun. you hesitated for a while, but since you were there already, might as well try to talk to him—

even if there was a slim chance of making things work.

you sat on the sofa, slightly still and awkward being in the residence. little sips, light breathing and the soft wind from the fan were only heard within the living area. “did my brother cause you a lot of trouble during the camp?” sungchan asked and knowing that you were silent, he knew jaehyun probably did. “how about now?”

“actually, i think i’m the one causing more trouble for him because i feel like i’m not doing anything to help when i said i would.” you sighed as he continued to listen.

“really? i heard from the others you’re helping so much that it changed my brother.. at the least he’s not cranky.” his nose twitched so adorably that you thought it was derived from being a bunny almost his whole life. “also, there’s that envelope-” he paused while realising how your expression caught him off guard.

maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned it, but he wanted you to know he wasn’t spying on you. he made that clear with his silence.

if he saw that back at the restaurant, that only meant he was there for quite some time. you let out a small smile that he was probably there not for you, but to wait for his brother’s friends. instead of bumping into them, he bumped into you.

“oh, that. it.. has a bunch of handwritten letters i’ve compiled when i struggled talking to jaehyun. i just felt that maybe it’s more sincere if i had to apologise.. y’know, eventually.”

he pursed his lips and nodded. “then why not put those words into actual words? like verbal words.” sungchan’s fingers pointed upwards, hinting that jaehyun was up in his room. “for all i know it’s the most sincere thing to do.”

crap, he’s not expressive but he’s so so mature for his age. it made you feel inferior for a moment.

“but before you do that, i have to tell you something that my dad and brother missed out about our curse. why jaehyun-hyung is more pressured than i am.”

(few minutes later)

you slid against the wall while sungchan went out to do grocery shopping. at the other side of the door, in between the thin gap, you could hear soft breathing; jaehyun was on his bed, sleeping in his dog form and it hurt you since time already passed both golden and blue hour, he should’ve transformed like his brother did. instead he laid there as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

meanwhile, jaehyun knew you entered his room. he pretended to be sleeping and expected he wouldn’t know how to act when he gets to face you. he decided to stay as he was.

until you pat then caressed his head.

he didn’t want to settle or give in for the fact you loved golden retrievers. he blamed on the shallow euphroria dogs easily feel. and because he was in his dog form, the anger he held for you disappeared. but at the same time, was your touch out of care or pity? he couldn’t figure it out. then he could hear the beats of your heart, and that made him sit up. your heart was fast. it was worrying. it was—

“why didn’t you tell me the whole story?” your voice wavered in heaving breaths as he finally looked you in the eye. his ears twitched and he faced the door, knowing that sungchan told everything.

jaehyun shook his body and whiskers moved before he telepathically answered you. “believe me i tried. i hate myself for being sensitive and i couldn’t bring to tell you because i got angry. but you have to know that i value trust more than anything.”

“you know what’s ironic?” you sighed, pressing your forehead as pain began to form. “you didn’t trust me first and and we fought because you didn’t do that. and you didn’t trust me enough that you only told me what, like 50 percent of it?”

of course he knew what you referred to.

he was going to tell you the day he visited your cottage at camp. but he didn’t get to, because ten told him news ahead of him that it ruined the purpose to talk to you. it wasn’t that he blamed him, it was due to the fact he wasn’t prepared for something like that. even for something like this.

because there was that prophecy weighing on his shoulders.

“sungchan said that it has to directly come from you, so you better tell me now before our friendship falls out.” you warned and leaned back against the headboard.

currently your friendship was on the line, wobbling on tight ropes. pushing you further away would do no good.

jaehyun sat and his paws were dignified into a comfortable position. his head laid on a cushion pillow, facing towards you. “fine. most of my family turns into wild animals, and they couldn’t control themselves in that other form. their wildlife instincts overpowers their thoughts.” he yawned.

“and it’s different for me and sungchan. when we were born, when we had our first full transformation, they were shocked to know we turn into domestic animals. we’re able to remember, think and live as if we’re still humans. at the end, it’s either of us to stop the curse.”

“so why did your brother mention that you’re the most pressured? why did it only have to be you?” this time you spoke, there was more depth into your feelings if you spoke. as sungchan said, verbally was more sincere. “you could share the burden with him.��

he sighed at the tone of your voice. “isn’t it obvious? the role is immediately passed onto me not because i’m the first born.. it’s because you suddenly could talk to me.. telepathically.”

“yeah and we couldn’t even figure that one out yet.” you scoffed remembering the times you’ve placed your efforts on that matter and now it had gone all to waste. all because you both had that fight.

he read through your eyes and sensed the intention from your words. plus he hated how you delivered it with that certain tone. “i didn’t bring this up just to blame you for my own satisfaction!” he groaned. “i brought it up so that i can apologise! i was wrong, okay?! i should’ve listened to you instead of carelessly listening to ten-”

you refrained yourself from showing any further hurt. recalling it would only make you cry. “well you were manipulated with ten’s assumptions. you believed him more than me. he had proof while i didn’t. i was in the losing end! not like i expected you to change your mind. so can we just.. get this overwith and tell me what the prophecy is?”

he was speechless for a while. you being straight-forward yet in a pained voice was too much for him. he was already softening his feelings for you and you had to tense it all up again. “‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’”

“and the ‘worse’ means you won’t transform back anymore?” you asked, the prophecy already piercing your heart as you waited for more explanation.

“that and..” he trailed off. “..we lose our humanity too. we won’t remember anything. memories erased like a snap of the finger. and we’ll just be.. another animal.”

you pushed yourself to sit up as your heart clenched tight. “jaehyun! why say it now and not before?”

“because! what is there for you to do-”

you squished the dog’s into a wrinkly mess, to the point jaehyun couldn’t see anything. his paws tried to put your arms down, but even clawing was hard for him to do. then he felt you lean forward to hug him. “y/n? what’re you doing?” you didn’t answer.

crap, this is warm. it feels.. nice. embarrassed, he put his thoughts at the back of his mind. “are you doing this out of pity? do i look that helpless-”

what crossed his mind was that you thought he needed a hug and was the only thing you could do. but you proved him wrong, so, so wrong. and why didn’t he realise it sooner in his life?

“you have to treat yourself like someone you love!”

what?

“you have to fill yourself with it! have you been thinking half-heartedly or do things half-assed because you’re different from people? do you not realise there are people who loves you? you trust them so less that you’re not confident into breaking the curse! because you didn’t really try!”

he froze in his stance, like a bullet pierced through his chest with how true your point was. he didn’t know what love was when his mother left the family. he didn’t dare to open up with his dad and brother, not his friends as for so long he didn’t do that one important thing— trust.

jaehyun thought he did that. he had enough encouragement but only to the level of content. he didn’t expect more as what else was there for people cursed like his family? “why are you so worried or do this much for me?”

“because no one actually helped you!” your arms tightened around him. “your friends were occupied into thinking that protecting you and your curse from others was the safest thing to do. it’s not! it just gets you self-conscious, conceited and too comfortable to not to do anything at all!” everything you said knocked down the pillars of his pride. he wasn’t at all living in humility if his friends did ever help.

“y/n we’re nothing more than friends. how could you be pushing yourself onto my problems-”

“i’m one of the people, jaehyun. don’t you get it now? i l-”

as if the phone line got cut off, he couldn’t hear the rest. you appeared like a television who lost its voice, however, somehow he knew what came after that. he didn’t want to admit it, after spending time with you at camp, he realised his heart felt the same.

you were quick to catch on. the golden retriever just stared at you, you couldn’t hear him as well. not even telepathically. jaehyun laid back down, ignored you and went to sleep. you nudged him, he wouldn’t move. you felt a swarm of blame towards him. if only he told you earlier, he wouldn’t be in this state where he was just another dog. mostly you blamed yourself for not taking the initiative first to fix things. you went along with your anger and his waiting game.

where did it get you? to this.

the one second revelation he heard from you and then fell into slumber, he was standing in front of himself, before a mirror. a series of himself switching from human to animal throughout the years. the glass cracked over his face. as if he entered a new world, he had to prepare mentally for what was to come.

instead he awoke like he only passed out from exhaustion. to only see you hugging your legs, head down with soft sobs and hiccups, he reached out for you yet hesitated. he checked the time, the golden hour was to arrive.

“y/n.” he called out in a low voice.

“no.” you mumbled. “i shouldn’t be hearing him.”

“but you really are, though.”

you shot your head up, tears rolling down your cheeks when you felt his touch— his large palms holding yours. he transformed, you had many questions as you thought it was too late.

confused and tired, you stared at him blankly. processing the guy before you took a whole minute to realise jaehyun transformed back. “is.. is this a joke?” you coughed and rubbed your tears. “i saw you faint- i saw how you lost the light in your eyes- i saw-”

he’s blushing. his ears are red.

jaehyun pulled you into an embrace, he caressed your head as if he held a newborn. “the curse broke around the time i realised i lacked self-care. it was the same time you said it too.”

looking back, he didn’t treat himself right since the beginning. he realised he shouldn’t have looked for a solution or someone to love him. he was the someone he was looking for, and should’ve reflected on himself than to rely too much on others.

“you’re still hugging me.” you said, stopping his trail of thoughts. you pat his back quickly and he was holding you tight. “you’re squeezing the oxygen out of me.”

“can’t i hold you longer? you’ve been so helpful even when i pushed you away. now i don’t really want to let go.” jaehyun whispered. he never felt something like this before— this urge to love someone. “what if the curse comes back when you go away?”

you felt your head bursting with temperatures your body was experiencing now. “you really have to let go!” clearing your throat, you tried to shove him away.

“no. don’t be stubborn.”

“don’t be clingy, clingy!”

“you want me to hug you though.”

“i do but- wait no that’s not- i-”

he squeezed your face between his hands. “you love me, don’t you. and you said i’m not loveable.” he teased and goodness his dimples shot you at the heart. you kicked him in the chest yet he leaned forwards, closer than usual. “i can feel your veins beating crazily.”

ah for crying out loud! “jung jaehyun.” you called him with a stern and plain voice. “get off me.”

“tsk i said i wouldn’t-”

“jaehyun you’re naked.”

hm? he pulled himself away from you, looked down and covered his lower body. ah heavens- “i’m sorr-”

a thud was heard by the door. you both turned heads to sleepy sungchan dropping a parcel delivered to jaehyun while holding a toothbrush with his mouth and prominent bed hair. “uh bro, this is-”

“dad! i think hyung’s in his mating season!”

“i’m so not!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

because the curse was lifted and jaehyun made it happen, all those who fell under it soon experienced freedom and joy after years of agony and pain and fear. feelings opposite to them showered upon them that morning like spring rain.

you sat in between jaehyun and ten, who haven’t been talking to each since they fought over little things, mainly about you. ten still didn’t believe that you were jaehyun’s girlfriend, because he recalled you guys were not going to mend things.

“so that’s it? it’s so hard to believe. she just hugged you and the curse’s gone? even more so you’re both dating?”

“ten, c’mon dude.” kun brought out his fist to bump yours. “she’ll be hanging with us from now on. you have to stop being a stuck-up.”

ten shrugged in defeat and finally nodded in acceptance. “fine. i’ll let it go. i mean the curse’s broken won’t bother jae anymore.” he turned to you. “i’m sorry y/n. jae and i have been best friends since kindergarten. so it’s kinda a brotherly instinct to protect him. it just comes out.”

“you do seem like the leader of the pack.” you fiddled with jaehyun’s fingers while he draped his arm around you.

“i thought i was the leader?” kun sounded offended, but not entirely.

jaehyun remained quiet. he told everyone what had happened. however, there was still one question left unanswered. what was the telepathy about?

what did it have to do with you and him? he thought about that real hard. were you actually a missing piece in the prophecy or did he misunderstand it? there were a lot of possibilities, a lot of ideas coming up that maybe he figured it wrong. maybe you did contribute to the breaking of the curse-

“ah!” jungwoo exclaimed as flicked the paper back and forth. he proudly showed what he found, putting the pieces together. the paper was moving quickly that the pairs of eyes couldn’t focus or see anything. “i’ve been telling you guys since camp but you wouldn’t listen to me!”

you squinted your hardest to see the words. all you got from the sheet of paper scribbles and connecting lines. the boys started to fight for the so they could read the younger one forcibly shoved in front of their faces.

jungwoo wanted his friends to feel their pride stepped on them, and held on the paper. “read the prophecy again. i’m excited-”

“you being excited about these things is nothing new-” ten yelled, and kun covered his mouth at the loud volume.

“‘only one could save those who lay under the curse, for they must be in the correct peace of mind and body to break it before it turns for worse.’ guys, it’s already hinted in it!” he pointed at the parts he was scribbling on earlier.

he expounded the prophecy was a little misleading. it wasn’t being literal about the right mind and body. they were the results of the having the correct heart, as the two would only be affected greatly if not for the heart.

jungwoo scooted next to you. “y/n, you weren’t only the key to solving it. you were the only person who gave him that push and made him realise he should love himself for who he was. you gave him that peace of mind because you are the heart. as we all know, the mind and body can’t function without the heart.”

“that sounds sweet?” kun blushed even though he wasn’t supposed to.

“yeah sure but the telepathy happening at the same time with my curse was just a coincidence though?” jaehyun asked.

“onto my next point!” jungwoo drew on the paper again. “i realised you told us before that only family members of the same curse can talk to each other telepathically.”

jaehyun’s brows only furrowed narrower. “which doesn’t make sense because she’s not part of my family.”

jungwoo grinned widely, it almost made you nervous but if it was coming from jungwoo, it always had to be something good. “not even us lads can even talk to you with our minds though we’re close like brothers. what if it’s a sign that she will be part of your family? even if the curse’s broken, it still proves my point that you were soulmates all along.”

somehow you knew it was headed to this. what jungwoo’s saying was similar to your hunch. you weren’t confident as he was because at the time, the curse wasn’t lifted. now that it was, you never knew you were actually right.

jaehyun shrunk in his seat after hearing jungwoo’s theory. he looked at you; who was now giggling with the others. he never thought you were his soulmate, it never crossed his mind. you appeared in his life as a shadow at first, before you resurfaced and made it a roller coaster ride. it was an eye opener for him too, you loved him for who he was, his flaws— that being the curse. although there were frequent bickers, that didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy or hate them. he was afraid you’d leave after knowing his transformation.

you didn’t. you stayed. not because you were forced to just to keep his secret, you stayed since you said you’d help. and that lifted weight off of his shoulders. colours came into view more spirited, clouded thoughts in his head faded and everything he heard that were once muffled became clear. he had to compare it like he was reborn.

in the end, you were still beside him, adjacent to him.

#nct #jaehyun oneshot #jaehyun imagines #nct jaehyun #nct 127 #jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun au #jaehyun fluff #jaehyun writings

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candycityy · 3 years ago

Note

Hii, Candy! For the Drabble Challenge, 12 and 19 😊

(You can also read this on AO3!)

Newlywed bliss, Levi decides, is sort of like a bubble. Or a vacuum, pick your metaphor.

You get so caught up in the sheer wonder of the whole situation, of shared touches and delirious smiles and and waking up with the love of your life sprawled unglamourously beside you, open-mouthed and drooling and just thoroughly adorable, and your heart swells and you can't think and you forget that the world hasn't stopped spinning on its axis for you and you alone.

In other words, Levi pleads insanity.

So when Petra walks into the drawing room one day with a frozen look on her face, one that's equal parts terror and bewilderment and something else that he can't quite discern, he doesn't know what to think. And then she says it.

"Levi," she says, "I'm pregnant."

Just two words, and his world is upended. He think Petra says something after, but he doesn't hear her; blood roars in his ears, his breath is stuck in his throat, and for the first time in his life, he finds himself shocked into utter silence.

And he realises, that third emotion in her face that he hadn't recognised earlier: it's happiness. A wild, fierce joy, a bewildered and terrified joy, but a joy nonetheless.

His head spins, and he feels, incomprehensibly, the urge to lie down. "Pregnant," he echoes. His voice is hoarse, ragged. "Petra, that's..."

He trails off. He doesn't know what to say. Incredible? Ridiculous? Impossible? Petra seems to recognise the tumult in his thoughts, though, because her expression shifts into a kind of defensive stubborness. As if by instinct, her arms curl over her still-flat abdomen, protective.

"Look," she begins, "I know we hadn't planned on this so early, but if you're thinking of—"

"No," he says. His voice is harsh, decisive, and he takes a small step towards her. "I'm not. Petra, I'm sorry, I was just...surprised. I wouldn't...ask you to hurt it. I would never."

She swallows. Her gaze searching, tentative. "Then...you're okay? You're not mad? Or upset?"

"I don't know how I feel," he says honestly. "I don't know shit about being a parent. Maybe I'll screw it all up, I don't know that either. And I'll be real, this is fucking terrifying." Petra laughs. The sound is like broken glass.

"But," he takes a step towards her, "I know I'll try my damned hardest to protect it. Give it a good life. I mean..." His eyes never move away from her stomach. "It's our baby."

His voice cracks on the two words, and that's all she needs. She almost falls into him, sobbing and laughing all at the same time. "Levi, I'm so scared," she whispers. She sounds dreamy, incredulous; enchanted. "A baby. We made a baby."

Levi's never been sure of anything; his life has been a maze of choice, of possibilities, of maybes and what-ifs. But as he stares down at Petra, her arms still wrapped around her middle, he feels a surge of something fierce and unfamiliar in his chest, something almost painful in its acuteness, and he knows, without a doubt: he would die for this stirring of life that drifts, still blind to the world, in his wife's womb.

The first time he tells someone, it's entirely by accident.

They're all hanging out in the lounge, like most nights; they haven't told Erwin, and Petra reckons it's better to wait a little, just in case. Eld and Auruo are bickering away as usual, and somehow, the topic turns to one of their colleagues, who recently put in a request to switch to the Garrison after his wife became pregnant.

"I mean, I get why," Eld says, his lip curling, "I just don't get how. Sitting around on the walls, getting drunk and playing cards all day...I'll never understand."

"Your fiancée might like that, though, wouldn't she," Auruo taunts. The other man rolls his eyes.

"Aria knows I'll never leave the Survey Corps. I plan to live till the ripe old age of seventy and die in a blaze of glory as Supreme Commander, thank you very much."

"Supreme Commander isn't even a title, you ass," Gunther goes from across the room, looking up from his book. "But pregnancy...that's a whole lot of responsibility, isn't it? How do you just go off and risk your life every day, with a kid waiting at home for you?"

Levi's stomach churns suddenly, his dinner threatening to make a reappearance, and his face suddenly feels very hot. He fights to keep his expression carefully blank, but Petra's eyes catch his, narrowing with concern.

"And that's how you ruin a life. Congratulations," Auruo concludes wisely.

"Hey," Petra retorts sharply, "that's not true. Being a dad doesn't mean your life ends, you know. You can still be a soldier, and fight, and everything."

Auruo leers at her. "It's different for you, Pet. Mothers have options...but fathers, they gotta provide for their families, woman. Dying...leaving your wife and kid to fend for themselves...it's not done." Eld and Gunther nod agreement, and Petra makes a face, muttering something under her breath that sounds suspiciously like, 'sexist cows'.

Levi doesn't know what possesses him in that instant. His throat is dry, and he's so lightheaded he feels numb, almost disembodied. He stands up abruptly, and announces, "Petra and I are expecting."

The silence that follows is palpable, thick enough to choke on. He can feel Petra's eyes as Auruo begins to sputter apologies and retractions—"I only meant—but of course, you wouldn't die and leave your kid alone, captain! You're humanity's strongest, after all! You'd never..."

He's still stammering away when Levi turns on his heel without a word, and walks out of the room.

The candle in his room has melted into a stump of wax when Petra finds him, later that night.

"Hey," she says softly. She's changed into her nightgown, and her hair, still damp from the showers, tumbles into the hollow of her collarbone. In the dim light of the candle, she looks pale and fragile; hollowed cheekbones, shadowed eyes.

Something deep in his chest wrenches, and he opens his mouth, only to find that no words come out. But she seems to understand his expression; of course she does, she always does.

She walks over to the window, where he stands, staring out of the window, and wraps her arms around his back. They're so nearly the same height that it's a comfortable position for them, her face pressed into his shoulder, her hair brushing the curve of his cheek. They stay there for a few moments in a comfortable silence, just relishing in the wordless companionship.

Petra isn't a patient person by nature. But by now, she knows him; knows how the thoughts whirl insistently in his mind at the height of his emotion, unwilling to settle into the dust. So she waits, her warm breath reassuring on his neck, her heartbeat strong against his back.

He finally exhales. "Do you think they were right?" he asks. The words sound unnaturally loud in the silence of the night. When she doesn't reply immediately, he goes on, "I could...you know. I could join the Garrison, too, or the Military Police. Or leave the military. I could do other things. Erwin would understand, he'd help—"

"No." The word cuts through the room. Gently but firmly, Petra turns him around to face her. The moonlight casts her in silver, turning her into something luminous, ethereal—almost otherworldly.

"Levi, I love you more than anything in this stupid world." Her expression is fierce, intent. "And I won't let you do that. You belong here, in the Survey Corps. And I do, too."

"But just say—"

"I'm not fragile, Levi," she shoots back, her eyes burning with a familiar fire. "Sure, maybe I'm not strong the way you are, but I'm strong enough. I'm not saying I'd be okay if you died—of course I wouldn't—but I'd survive, and I'd keep our child alive, too. And I believe you'd do the same."

Something breaks in him, then, like the shattering of a glass, and he looks up. Petra is glaring at him with those burning eyes, and in that moment, she's so alive and beautiful, the love of his life, the mother of his unborn child. The realisation makes him stagger. He's never felt so complete; he's never had so much to lose.

Feeling as though the weight of the world sits on his shoulders, he nods.

Petra's answering smile is a promise, golden and honeyed and full of light. She draws him in tighter.

"Trust me," she whispers. Her presence is warm, solid, comforting. "Everything will be all right."

Drabble challenge!

#end open to interpretation WINKS #thank u for the prompt anya i hope this didn't disappoint;;;#rivetra #levi x petra #attack on titan #levi ackerman #petra ral #aot fanfiction #candycity writes

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sofwrites · 3 years ago

Note

for the prompt thing; polin + 41

41: sitting close and knees touching | Also my entry for Polin Week Day 3: Modern AU

A modern twist on Penelope finding out about Colin's journals

Themes: angst, yearning, teasing | Length: 2.3k

Read on ao3 or under the cut | masterlist

Thank you for requesting! xx

He hadn’t planned on telling anyone. He really hadn’t planned on anyone seeing them. And he really really hadn’t planned on anyone ever reading them.

The only reason Colin had even started keeping a journal was to remind himself that he was a real person on his travels- that he had the power to leave something permanent on earth. That he wasn’t completely wasting his time flitting from country to country- desperately trying to find some sort of purpose in his life.

Again, he hadn’t planned on anyone seeing them.

But one day he was painstakingly hiding his journals in a deep, hidden corner of his laptop, and the next, Penelope Featherington had found one. She’d found one then read. And somehow, she thought they were good. Actually good. Not I’m-only-saying-this-to-be-nice good.

And, sure, it had all happened by accident, but after some time, Colin was so incredibly thankful that it did.

He’d been hiding out in Eloise’s flat (Anthony had texted about wanting to meet that afternoon because- well, it didn’t matter really. The fact of the matter was that Colin had no desire to do so) when the buzzer rang.

He ignored it and continued to flip through the book in his hand.

But then it rang again. And again.

And on the fourth ring, Colin finally groaned and forced himself off of the sofa.

It was barely a second after his finger had reached the speaker that a loud, rather familiar-sounding shriek rang out. “Eloise!! Eloise! Please tell me you’re there!”

With a snort, Colin cut the voice off and buzzed them in. And in roughly a minute (an impressive feat considering that Eloise lived on the fifth floor), he saw a bouncing bit of red hair through the peephole and opened the door.

“Thank God, I really need-” Penelope froze mid-step in the frame as her eyes traveled up to reach Colin’s face. For a moment, she just stared, her mouth parted open. And then she swallowed and gave a quick shake of the head.

With a slightly forced smile, she nodded and swept past him, looking around as she went towards the sitting room. “Is Eloise in?”

“She’s not,” Colin answered flatly as he casually leaned against the closed door. He kept an impressively blank expression as Penelope haphazardly rifled through Eloise’s desk, roughly blowing a few loose curls out of her face. “Looking for something?”

Penelope either missed or simply ignored the teasing tone as she frantically moved her search to the sofa cushions. “Did she leave her laptop here?”

“Don’t think so. Though I’m not entirely sure- all she told me was to try not to empty her entire fridge.”

Normally, that would have elicited Colin a laugh or an amused smile, but all Penelope did was let out a groan. A groan that bizarrely caused his stomach to flip. He glanced away from her, clearing his throat. ”Erm- but if you need a laptop, I do have mine.”

Penelope looked up at him with such sharpness that it caught him a bit off guard. “You do? Can I borrow it?”

He blinked at her for a moment, but quickly nodded and motioned to his bag near her feet. He’d barely muttered a “Course” before she’d already retrieved and set it on the table.

“Oh, password’s-” Colin balked for a second, his mouth still open. He’d never told anyone his password before, and it felt… Odd. Unnerving to give away such a private piece of information. But Penelope was looking up at him again, eyes huge and slightly feral, antsy fingers hovering over the keys. He rubbed the back of his neck before mumbling, “GregorySux. With an x.”

The tips of Penelope’s fingers froze as the corner of her mouth twitched, but she bit her lip as she looked down to type.

“He kept hacking into it,” Colin said in an attempt to justify himself.

She seemed so focused on the screen that he thought she hadn’t heard him, but, almost absentmindedly, Penelope said, “Don’t think it’s hacking if your password is literally Password.”

He gaped at her. “I can’t believe Eloise told you!”

This time, Penelope just shrugged in response, her attention completely taken away. The only sounds that filled the room were those of her lightning-quick typing.

He stood there for a moment, feeling uncharacteristically awkward as he watched her fingers work. And then he cracked his neck before nodding. “Right, I’ll give you a minute…”

And as he reached Eloise’s toilet, it occurred to Colin he’d never before been alone with Penelope- not really. He’d known the girl for over a decade, but they’d never really been friends. They were friendly and had spent a decent amount of time together, but there’d never been a real closeness, definitely not one where they could spend a casual afternoon hanging out.

But Colin had never had trouble with finding the right words to say, so it shouldn’t be different with Penelope, right?

He’d asked her about work- that was safe. And maybe how her recent trip with Eloise and Frannie had been- also another safe topic. After that, it’d be no trouble.

But when he reentered the hallway, Colin immediately noticed how quiet it had suddenly gotten- the air completely absent of any hasty typing. Silently, he peered inside the sitting room.

Penelope was still hunched over his laptop, her mouth parted slightly as she stared at the screen. The only movement of her hands was to scroll, but her eyes were running across the screen at an inhuman speed. He watched her for a moment, the corner of his mouth rising unconsciously as her lips mouthed a few words.

He felt intrigued.

Not intrigued by her- of course. But rather intrigued by what had entranced her so much that she couldn’t dare peel her eyes from the computer.

She didn’t react as he crept behind her, looking over her shoulder to see the screen. The brightness was a bit lowered, but he could see a Word document. He leaned a bit closer, eyes squinting as he read a random line.

Imagine you’re at a party, feeling weightless and invincible-

Wait- he recognized those words.

Colin’s eyes flew to the title of the page, which very clearly read, Italy, 09/03/19.

“What the hell are you doing?”

Penelope yelped at the sudden noise, turning her head so quickly that her forehead made contact with Colin’s nose.

“OW!”

And that was how it had all started. A frantic Penelope, a trip to the toilet, an accidentally minimized Word document, and a (luckily) not broken nose.

He’d been angry at first… Well, really, he’d been fairly livid about the entire thing. Not because he was necessarily mad at Penelope, who had accidentally opened the tab initially, but rather because he felt… Embarrassed. It was embarrassing having one’s little sister’s best friend accidentally come across their greatest secret.

But even though he wanted to forget and pretend it all had never happened, Penelope had been unrelenting. After an assurance that what she read had been good, she’d practically demanded that he let her read through the rest of his work.

And now, weeks later, here they were sitting next to each other at his kitchen table, two cups of tea and a printed-out version of his journal laid out in front of them.

“What was it you were trying to say here?” Penelope asked, her eyes rolling over a highlighted section of an Australia entry.

He looked down at the page, following where her finger rested. Instantly, he felt himself flush a bit. She was pointing out a particularly convoluted metaphor he’d written, one likening the magnificent sunset to the familiarity of reading one’s favorite childhood book for the first time as an adult.

“Erm…” He cringed, unable to say anything else.

It was still so odd- the not knowing what to say. Colin Bridgerton wasn’t someone who ever had trouble figuring out his words, and yet… And yet having Penelope had that effect on him. Or, more likely, having Penelope inspect his work, dissecting every word that had ever come out of his brain, make him feel insecure in a way he never was.

It wasn’t so much that it was Penelope, of course. She was his sister’s best friend, a woman he’d known since they were barely grown. It would have been like that if anyone else had seen his work, he was sure of it.

But even still- he found himself staring at a rogue curl on her cheek, his hand twitching to reach up and tuck it away.

“Colin?” Penelope interrupted his roaming thoughts, abruptly looking up at him. Her lips pinched together once she saw his expression, pulling themselves down into a small frown. “Colin,” she repeated in a softer voice. “I wasn’t lying when I said you were a fantastic writer. It’s just that everyone needs a little editing- even the best of us.”

His head tilted slightly as he looked at her, suddenly caught on her use of the word, us. “Do you write a lot then?”

Penelope’s lips slowly formed a smile as she looked at him, a hint of hesitation on her face. She sighed, taking a moment. “Well, actually-” But then she cut herself off, suddenly resembling the same shy Penelope he hadn’t seen in years.

Colin found himself leaning in, putting both arms on the table in front of them, desperate to hear the end of whatever she’d wanted to say. He could feel his knee bumping into hers, but neither of them moved. “What?” he prompted, surprised to hear how faint his voice was. There was something about the moment that was making it rather difficult to breathe.

Penelope was looking back at him with an intensity, mouth slightly parted as she licked her lips reflexively. There was nothing inherently seductive about the movement, but- But something about the way her tongue flicked out made Colin’s stomach clench uncomfortably.

“Uhm,” she whispered, only hearing the loud beating of her heart. No one knew about her secret, other than her editor. And it would surely be a disaster if anyone ever found out …

But she had found out about Colin’s secret, albeit by accident. It felt only right that he should know hers as well…

But if she were being truly honest, she didn’t care very much about her secret at that present moment. Not when the two green eyes she had spent her entire adolescence (and much of her early adulthood) pining over were staring directly at her, looking as though they could see through her entire soul.

Every breath was an effort, every movement was the most difficult task in history. The spot where their knees were still gently pressed against each other felt like it was on fire, spreading itself across her body. She’d been in so much shock when the contact had happened that she hadn’t moved away. And then she’d been astonished when he hadn’t either.

Penelope couldn’t even remember what they’d been talking about, and it almost appeared that Colin… That Colin shared the same sentiment.

It felt like she was dreaming. Somehow, he was staring at her with just as much intensity as she was to him. She wasn’t sure if anyone had… She was quite certain that no one had ever looked at her like that.

Colin swallowed as he stared at her, taking in every freckle spread across her nose and every loose curl surrounding her face. He could see her eyes clearly for perhaps the first time in his life- a beautiful shade of warm brown with golden flecks throughout the iris. And then his eyes unwillingly moved, flickering to her lips as she licked them again, causing his gut to wrench painfully.

And then he realized that his hands on the table were so close to her own, the one still resting on his forgotten journal excerpt.

Almost without meaning to, his pinky twitched, moving just enough to meet hers. His breath hitched as he looked back up to meet her gaze.

Neither of them moved, as if moving would break something fragile. As if moving would forcibly tear them from the moment they were.

But then- he wasn’t sure how long- Penelope’s soft eyes left his, darting down to rest on their touching fingers. And then her eyes widened, and her entire body jerked backward, and suddenly Colin’s knee was incredibly cold.

Her chair made a loud scraping noise against the floor as she jumped up, startling him out of the hold he’d been under. “Pen-?”

“It’s getting a bit late,” Penelope muttered through a quick breath, quickly stashing away her belongings. “I’ll finish this at home, and we can meet another time to discuss it. Maybe coffee- next week.”

Colin frowned, getting out of his seat, and taking a few steps towards her. Quietly, he said, “Or you could stay here?”

Penelope froze for a moment before slowly retrieving her keys, gaze firmly locked onto the ground. All he could see were her eyelashes as she blinked.

He bent down slightly and reached out to lift her chin. “Or you could stay here,” he repeated with a bit more reverence in his voice. “We could get some dinner and- talk.”

Penelope swallowed as her eyes rested on his face for a fraction of a moment, but soon enough, she pulled away again. Her fingers trembled as she draped the bag over her shoulder, shaking her head as she looked towards the door. “Erm, no, sorry. I really- really need to go, Colin.”

And then she all but sprinted from the flat, leaving a speechless Colin Bridgerton behind.

#polinweek #polinweek2021 #polin #bridgerton fic #my fic #this is my first posted modern polin #I have another one coming at the end of this crazy week #hope you like this though!#also I'm sorry this took weeks I hope that's okay #polinanon #ugh can you tell polin week is killing me #because it is

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nerd2614 · 3 years ago

Text

Sweet Death

@write-it-motherfuckers original prompt

Cool poem I found whilst googling stuff

“Tigers are the largest type of cat.” You blurted out as a large man carefully picked up a miniature rainbow tiger ceramic. Your eyes widened and you began to stumble over an apology. The people at work were only saying yesterday that you should at least try not to disrupt unknown people with random bits of information. To your great surprise, he turned towards you with an almost childlike smile.

“Though often lions have a larger skull than that of tigers.” He said happily.

“Must be all that hot air they store in there.” You quipped.

The man laughed freely. His gloved hand came up to press against his sternum, covered by layers of jumpers. The beanie on his head started to slip from his shaking.

You glanced around the bizarre little antique shop you’d scrambled into when the snow started. A Cuckoo clock next to you caught your eye. You picked it up with a devilish grin. “The cuckoo bird actually lays its eggs in the nests of other birds so they don’t have to raise their young.”

“Sounds like my parents.” The man joked. The both of you paused - unsure of how the other would react - before bursting out with a fit of giggles. This continued for quite a while. One of you would pick out an item in the shop and provided a factoid. Then the other would make a dark quip about it.

This only stopped when the elderly shopkeeper firmly asked you to be quiet or be gone. Without discussion, the both of you moved towards the exit.

“At least it’s not snowing anymore.”

The man beside you hummed in agreement.

“My name’s Eve by the way.” You smiled and stuck your hand out.

Your new friend hesitated. He looked at your hand for a moment before sheepishly meeting your gaze. “I’m sorry, I don’t really, um...”

You frowned. Then his words hit you and you took a step back, bringing your arm crashing into your side. “Oh! No, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have assumed...” You trailed off awkwardly.

“Eve. Full of life, very fitting.” He fiddled with his gloves to avoid looking at you. A shiver tore through you that had nothing to do with the cold. “Would you like to get a coffee with me, Eve?”

“I’d love to, Mister Mysterious.” You joked, starting to follow him down the street.

“Oh, um-” pink dusted his cheeks “- call me Theo.”

That first coffee turned into a regular hang out once a week. Then almost every day Theo would pick you up from work for an adventure. He was very adamant about his no touch rule. No matter what the weather or occasion was, he found a way to cover up completely. Theo often shied away from you when you came too close. You tried not to take it to heart. As a very affectionate person, you had to restrain yourself from hugging Theo or holding his hand when crossing the street.

At one of your first movie nights, you built up the courage to ask about it.

“I have...” Theo mumbled an answer. You shuffled around on your beanbag to be able to look at him directly.

“Hmm?”

“Really. Sensitive. Skin.” Theo announciated each word by throwing a piece of popcorn at you.

“Oh. So you’re not afraid you’ll fall in love with me if we accidentally touch hands?” You pretended to pout. You made a mental reminder to be extra careful in future. Causing your new friend any pain was the last thing you wanted.

Theo laughed softly and pointed out something in the movie. The topic was dropped.

“Are your ears painted on? Back. Off.” You practically growled at the woman flirting with Theo.

She raised a perfectly painted on eyebrow, “I didn’t realise you were his girlfriend.”

“He’s obviously uncomfortable.” You defended him. Theo stood up and carefully positioned himself beside you. The woman rolled her eyes and stalked off.

You smiled and passed over his drink. “I leave you alone for two seconds.”

“Thank you, Eve.” Theo rumbled. You had an idea he wasn’t talking about the tea.

The two of you were walking down the street when Theo’s shoulders started shaking.

“What’s wrong?”

“You, you practically growled at that poor woman! What were you going to do if she hadn’t left?” Theo started laughing. He laughed a lot more than when you first met almost four years ago. No matter how much you heard it, it filled you with joy.

“Shut up.”

You had never run that fast in your life. Theo had fallen off the side of the lookout with a slowness that was terrifying. You had reached out to grab him but only managed to grasp the tassel of his beanie. Sickening cracks echoed with his grunts as he seemed to hit every tree and rock on the way down.

“Theo!” The scream tore from your throat. Tears streamed from your eyes. Branches whipped against your cheeks. Your heart felt like it simultaneously stopped and was beating as fast as it ever had. You forced yourself to concentrate on the worn away game trail in front of you. There was no possible way he could have survived the fall. No human could have. But you prayed to anyone that would listen that Theo would be alright.

You cried out in relief as you saw him crawl his way onto the riverbank. There was no logical way he could have survived such a fall, and yet there he was, looking completely unharmed. There wasn’t even a scratch anywhere you could see. Your panicked mind was having difficulty comprehending it. Unthinkingly, you reached out and searched him desperately for wounds. It wasn’t until you were gently cupping his face in your hands that you registered that his body initially flinched away from your touch.

“You… Eve, you’re… touching me.” His breathless voice cut through your panic, freezing you in place.

You gasped and reefed your hands back as his voice registered. Tears started to flow freely again. You stumbled back, hiccupping. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse. I’m sorry. I fucked up. Sorry.”

His firm hands latched onto your wrists before you could move too far away. You peeked up at him through damp eyelashes to see a slack expression of awe and reverence on his face. The action made you tense again. You looked down at his hands that made yours look so small. The difference was never noticeable before, Theo always felt larger than life, but to actually see the size of his hands engulfing your wrists was shocking. You fell completely silent. As if you were made of glass, Theo gently tugged you closer so you were both kneeling on the muddy riverbank. His hair and clothes were still dripping from his time in the water. His beanie was still clutched in your hand.

His eyes were searching yours for answers or maybe just questions you didn’t know the answer to. Theo looked down at your joined hands. Slowly, he released one and raised it to his mouth to tug off his thick leather glove with his teeth. He hesitated for a split moment before interlocking his icy cold fingers with yours. You watched in silence as his whole body shuddered, feeling your panic begin to bloom again as his eyes welled up with tears.

“You can touch me…” He whispered breathlessly again.

Confused, you simply watched him in silence, heart aching as you saw him shake at the simple touch. Carefully, he pulled your hand back to his face, hesitating before all but nuzzling into it.

“You can touch me!” His voice was enthusiastically louder than before.

Your attempt to reply was cut off as his awe filled words dissolved into an almost hysterical giggle. Without consciously deciding to, you slowly shuffled forward to carefully pull him into your arms. Instantly, he all but melted into your embrace, clutching at you desperately as he let out a mix between a laugh and a sob, his entire body shaking like a leaf.

Pushing aside your confusion, you simply held him, soothingly rubbing his back as he kept murmuring deliriously into your neck, seeming almost starved for your touch now that he had felt it. You whispered sweet nothings to him, assuring him that you weren’t going to go anywhere.

The dampness oozed into your clothes, which in turn allowed the cold to seep into your bones. You started to shiver uncontrollably. At first you were able to suppress it a bit, whatever Theo was going through was more important than a slight chill, but even he noticed as an especially violent shiver ripped through you.

“Eve?” Theo pulled back slightly, mindful to not break his contact with you. You sniffed and shook your head to dismiss his questions.

“It’s fine. You’re more important. I’m just really, just real glad you didn’t get hurt.” You didn’t bother to ask if he was okay. Anyone who refused to be touched for years then basically melded themselves into the first person who ‘could’ touch them was obviously the very opposite of okay. Theo frowned. He disentangled his hand from yours to run his thumb over your bottom lip. A blush rose on your face, chasing away the cold you felt.

“Your lips are blue.”

You giggled. “No they’re not, feel v’ry warm.”

His hand stilled. He gently tugged his beanie out of your grip and slid it down over your ears. “We need to leave.” He stood abruptly, bringing you up with him. You giggled again. “Can you walk?” You looked at him like he’d grown a third head. You took a step and nearly collapsed. Concern etched itself into Theo’s face.

“S’not good.” You muttered. It was colder still now. The sun had disappeared behind the trees leaving the valley in a state of near darkness. A breeze picked up from the river and blew towards you. Theo stood close to you to shield from the cold then seemed to realise he was still damp and wasn’t radiating any heat. He looked torn between staying away and keeping as close as possible.

“You have hypothermia.” There was no doubt in his voice as he looked down at you. “Shivers, slurred speech, blue lips, even your pupils are dilated. This is my fault! If I hadn't slipped...”

You leant against Theo and sighed. “Shhh, no one's fault.”

“How’s your heartbeat? Is it erratic?”

“It always is around you.” You tried to joke but the words didn’t come out right. Another violent shiver ripped through you hard enough to make you gasp for air.

“Fuck.” If you weren’t already shivering, hearing Theo cuss in that low voice would have made you start. You tried to tell him so but it was as if your tongue was made of lead. You wished whoever was making that awful chattering noise would stop. The world started spinning but came to an abrupt stop as you landed in Theo’s arms. His breathing was a lot steadier than yours even though he was ascending the steep side of the valley with your added form.

“You can’t leave me, Eve. You can’t touch me and die of a silly human condition. It’s not fair. Just hang in there for me.”

There were lots of questions that you wanted to ask him. “What’s the real reason you don’t want people to touch you? Why are you so cold? What do you mean ‘human condition'?” But now was not the time. Tightly embraced in Theo’s arms, you focused on trying to reassure him that you wouldn’t leave. Four quick taps, one tap, tap hold tap, one tap. His small smile filled your vision.

Your eyes fluttered open.

You were reclined in the passenger seat with your worn car blanket draped over you. The windows were all fogged up. The heater was on.

“Theo?” To talk was painful, but you had to know.

“Eve.” It did something to you to hear your name said with such relief. You propped yourself up on your elbow to face the man sprawled in the backseat. He had hung his thick coat over the back of the driver’s seat to dry. A thin blue shirt stretched across his chest, looking a bit worse for wear.

“You’re not part cat, are you?”

Of all the questions Theo was expecting, that was not one. The tension shattered with his light laugh. You tried and failed to keep a straight face.

“No. Not part cat.” Theo’s smile slowly faded. He paused. You could tell he was thinking of the best way to tell you what happened. He evidently decided to rip the bandaid off quickly. “I’m a Lord of Death. My true name is Thanatos.”

“I guess that’s why you thought my name was funny all those years ago.” You mused. “Life and Death meeting at last.”

Theo, for that’s who he would always be to you, reached over to brush his fingers against your cheek. “Something like that.”

“Come, sweet death, into the arms of my embrace.” You quoted seriously, holding your arms out. He looked confused for a moment before understanding flickered across his face. He scooped you up into his arms and the two of you held each other in the heated car.

There were still lots of questions that you wanted to ask, but now was not the time. For now, you simply held him as you both absorbed the moment, knowing that somehow everything would be alright.

And that was more than enough for you.

#Sweet Death #Eve x Death #Eve x Thanatos #puns #I tried way too hard to make my past english teacher's proud #hypothermia #prompt fill #prompt response

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago

Note

Hi Goldy! I’m new to your blog and I’ve found your analysis very interesting. I was wondering if you would be interested in explaining more deeply this timeline you’ve mentioned about jikook’s relationship. As in: when did they break up?, when did they get back together?, when did they start dating, etc. I understand if it’s too much work, but it would be really cool! Also, good luck in your studies! From one law student to another :)

I think we should form a club or something, all the Attorneys and lawyers in the making, Architects, Doctors, Nurses, Politicians, Mums, Grandmums- I love it here!!!!!!!!!

Oh and here you go...

I'm not good at video editing, zero skills there but I tried something! It wasn't exactly what I wanted it to be but chilee I tried. JK. Lol.

It's JK stealing a glance at JM when he went to stand by him to sing for me- these two! Smh.

Jk is not a very good actor honestly. He spent the entire episode closed off to JM but he was literally pining lol.

And he certainly wasn't reacting well to Jimin flirting with the staff or camera crew or whoever he was throwing those finger hearts at- some would argue he was making finger hearts at Army... sure why not- whatever rocks your boat. Lol

But I've seen him do this shit one too many times during Runs and MV shoots behind scenes with staff to think otherwise. Besides, the conversation they were having in that moment revolved around the Staff and the mission the staff was going to give them so...

This moment reminded me of Run episode 82 or something where they wore the mask?

Someone off camera had asked Jimin for a photo or something, he checked to see if Jk was watching him and then he posed and put up a V sign for that person- fucking slytherin. Lmho.

Of course JK noticed what he was up to- because he is always watching JM. Lol. He zoomed over there immediately to lay his claim on his man. It also seemed a few moments afterwards that he had given JM a scolding or demanded for an explanation for his behavior or something- I mean whatever they were doing in the background there whispering to eachother.

It felt like the energy he had when Hobi put his hand around JM in that interview and he snapped his neck towards them to scold JM.

These little moments are moments I just know Jikook is real. They are real. They are. These are moments of Jikook piercing the forth wall to me, legit. Friends don't check friends and hold them to these kinds of standards and exclusivity in their behavior.

And this is what I mean when I say Jikook exercise right of authority over eachother. Yet in this recent episode of Run JK couldnt exercise that right and Jimin didn't even accord JK that privilege-because friends don't have that right nor can they exercise that right.

And you could tell it was taking a toll on JK throughout the episode. I wish I could do a better Job of showing his facial expressions in certain moments where he cracked and exposed himself like when he sensed what Jimin was going to do in the moment right before and immediately after JM had done that heart sign thingy. It was devastating to watch but I screen recorded this and edited it with my phone so the quality isn't exactly great on the zooms. Sorry.

My girlfriend too isn't available right now to fix it up or make a full video analysis for me- will try and get her to do that later hopefully. [ all these zoom, and freeze frame- this is how we turn into TKK_lives for real! Lmho]

As for JM, as I said in my previous analysis, this was his mood the entire On Era when he was trying to get JK back, he was trying to get JK to be jealous and shit and look at the way he checked JK's reaction after throwing that heart sign- yea I'm not giving him the benefit of the doubt. Nope!

Usually, he sneaks around or check to see if he's boyfriend isn't watching him before he does his shenanigans with others outside BTS and that has been pretty consistent of their dynamics throughout the years. And when he notices JK is mad or hurt afterwards he usually tries to reassure him.

He did that this year too during the Stay Gold promo period when he and JK were harmonizing and he looked at someone behind the camera and did that smugly flirty thingy he does and JK was sat next to him looking like he was about to throw his mic at the back of his head. Lol. I love these two!

He threw his arms all over JK immediately to snuggle and appease him. People said he seemed defiant in that moment- like he was defying orders or something. I agree but I think there was more to that moment than JM defying BigHit's orders not to do the skinship thingy with JK. In my opinion.

I wish I could show y'all JM's moments of pining and trying to connect with JK and his exasperation when he felt that wasn't working in this episode but the skills- its lacking. Chilee.

Listen, Jikook is real ok. By real I mean they go through stuff you see in any real romantic partnership. At least from my pov.

It breaks my heart that y'all are pressing mad charges against JK... sigh. Y'alls too quick to throw him under the bus when he upset the balance of your shipping fantasies lol. That's what you get for shipping Jikook. These are real people with real human emotions not fantasies. Don't ship them support them!

Tae is JK's friend too you know? And what are friends if they cannot be there for eachother when they are going through a hard time... sigh.

On era was tough for both of them and I'm glad they got through all of that. I mean if y'all were paying attention to them this episode wouldn't have been shocking, you know? Sigh.

To answer your question my honorable colleague, I think I have exhausted the topic? Lol. I have a comprehensive analysis of that timeline in one of by blog posts but for the love of me I can't remember which. Lol.

I will try and dig it up and forward it to you? I am still working on a masterlist and learning this platform so bare with me please. I purple you.

This has been my point of view. Let me know yours??

Signed,

GOLDY

#Jikook is real #Jikook boyfriends #jikook analysis #jikooktheories #kookmintheories #kookmin analysis #Goldy blogs #goldy analysis #goldy theories #nightswithkookmin #goldy #bts ships #alt shipping

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softbluefanfiction · 4 years ago

Text

Truce

When I first started writing this fic, I accidentally deleted the first 2000 words and had to restart, that wasn't very nice, but I pulled through and really I hope you enjoy!

The insults. The accusations. Constantly having to defend himself. Having to play nice. It was all getting to be too much for Janus, but he had no choice but to handle it. He needed to take it in order to help Thomas, and eventually it would stop. Until then though...

"Your slippery sarcasm scale is why we are in this mess in the first place!" Roman yelled, pointing an accusing finger.

"Yeah, for real, Thomas" Virgil spat, "how can you still not see him for what he is?"

"And what would that be, dear Anxiety?" His stomach twisted as he spoke; it was tough to fight with him on a good day, but Virgil had also declared that he wasn't going to use Janus's name and that Janus wasn't allowed to use his. The only reason he agreed was to stop a fight, but in hindsight, it seemed to have not caused any release of tension from the group.

"A monster-"

"Woah! That's a bit strong, don't you think, Verg? Maybe we can take a second-" Thomas tried.

"No, it's not!" Virgil snapped. "he's been lying and deceiving us from the start, and now his advice has cost us a friendship!"

A few weeks ago, Thomas had come to them with a moral dilemma about two acting jobs. One was for a friend's production and would have meant a great deal to said friend if Thomas had taken the part. The other was a more prestigious role that Thomas has been working towards for a long while, alongside that Thomas didn't have much experience with the genre and really wanted to test himself; it also paid more. Janus had gone for the obvious choice with Logan on his side. He then won over Patton; given that other people were lined up to audition, his friend wouldn't have been shorthanded. He knew Roman secretly wanted to do the more challenging thing. It was easy after that.

"I hardly believe that that is a reasonable conclusion, Virgil." Logan slid in next to Janus, much to the latter's relief. A small genuine smile came across his face as Logan began to defend him. It always took him by such surprise; he never thought he'd be on speaking terms with the other after what he did, impersonating him. Now they had begun to quite enjoy each other's company and Logan defended him, often without hesitation: "when was it you said this play was, Thomas?"

"Uh, I went to it last week, but it ran the rest of the week too."

"And when and how frequently have you contacted this person?"

"Once that night and a couple of times today, but he still hasn't responded. He was also weird after the play, I mean we barely spoke!"

"Hence the 'issue' at hand," Janus said with air quotes and Roman positively fumed.

"Wipe that smile off your face, you deceitful dick!" He snapped and everyone in the room seemed as taken aback as Janus was.

"Running out of insults, are we, Roman?" He sneered.

"No, you...you... snake!" he shouted, still pointing an accusatory finger.

Both he and Logan rolled their eyes as Logan continued. "So, based on the fact that you have texted them during and after a busy week and they have not responded as well as being distant during a very busy production, you are concluding that they no longer wish to be your companion? Thomas, you must see that that is a bit of an extreme conclusion?"

Thomas and Vigil took a deep breath together. "Yeah, I'm sorry Logan, you're right. I should wait a minute before ringing the alarm bell."

"The figurative one I assume; although that might be an interesting way to improve the safety of your home, it would be unnecessary as the fire alarms are already operating."

"That doesn't change anything, they could be-" before Virgil could continue, Thomas's phone buzzed.

"Oh, who could that be?" Janus asked.

Thomas spoke sheepishly, looking apologetically at Janus and Logan. "It's them, they're sorry that they haven't been able to talk much and wanna go out to lunch some time."

"Well, then," Logan said with a self satisfied sigh, "if that is all I'll bid you a good night, and Thomas, remember to check your calendar before making plans."

"Okay, Logan, thank you!" Thomas rubbed the back of his neck as Logan sunk out.

"Hmmm, would you look at that, despite my villainous influences on Thomas's decision making everything turned out fine! How could this possibly be?" Janus gasped with mock shock, bringing a gloved hand to his mouth.

"This doesn't change anything, you're still-"

"Virgil," Thomas voice was a bit raised but he took a deep breath and softened, "Virgil, its okay."

The anxious side struggled for a moment, seeming to have more to say, but then simply huffed and sunk out with Roman ready to take his place in the fight.

Before that argument could move any further he held up a hand, and looked at his host. "I will see you later Thomas, don't hesitate to call if you need me." He sunk out with a calm smile from Thomas and fuming rage from Roman.

After he was back in the mindscape's living room, his shoulders slumped and his face fell before he realized that he was not alone and put on his mask once more. Every cell in his body fought against not being able to just relax, but he pushed those feelings away, making his way into the kitchen.

He was no longer going to stay in the room, but was still going to take a bottle of wine up to his bedroom. He felt like he deserved a little help to unwind.

Virgil spoke up as he looped back from the kitchen to make his way up the stairs: "I know what you're doing!" He growled.

"Do you now?" Janus huffed, he'd had too much today already and mostly responded on instinct. He hoped Virgil would just drop it so he could get onto staying in his room the rest of the night.

"I do, and I'm not going to let you hurt him!"

Janus let out an exasperated sigh and spun around at the top of the staircase. "Do you ever think I've tried so hard to get to Thomas because I care for him and want to help him?!" He meant to be snide in order to get Virgil to understand while not being vulnerable, but his voice failed him at the end, cracking.

That gave Virgil pause but he strode on. "It doesn't matter what you think you're doing. You're deceit and all you are going to do is hurt Thomas."

Janus just huffed and walked away, face turning red at his outburst. He had avoided reacting out of pure feeling since his low blow with Roman, but it seemed like they knew just how to get on his nerves and wanted him to fail so badly. He wouldn't have been surprised if that was a genuine scheme of theirs, to hit him where it hurts until he finally shows his true colors or whatever. They'd done worse.

Hot tears burned at the back of his eyes but he swallowed them down. He would not cry because of them. They would not hurt him, he was better than that and if it meant he could have Thomas's attention then they didn't matter.

But this was getting to be exhausting. The punches were coming just as hard as before and seemed to hurt worse and worse. Virgil's always stung, but the attacks were getting more and more personal. Roman was nothing compared to that, but the last few weeks every time it seemed that they were getting somewhere he'd redouble his efforts at getting under Janus' skin.

They were also in cahoots to not let him be alone with Thomas, and for a while, Patton. He actually began to get a stomach ache every time he went to go visit either, even starting to avoid them entirely before they both realized what was up and told the other two off. They could still interrupt if they found a good enough reason and used it as an excuse, which left Janus with much apprehension.

Their efforts also left him with conclusions that he was barely allowing to cross his mind, but he felt them pushing against the edges, threatening to burst out. About how Virgil and Roman are a part of Thomas and what their sentiment means about what Thomas thinks of him.

He shook himself out of his reverie and poured a glass of wine, sitting on his bed to sip at it.

His suit felt itchy and he knew he probably needed a shower. Last week he shed and that was just delightful, as always. He was more than grumpy and expected it to ruin all he had worked for but everyone was actually exceptional about the whole situation. Even Roman. It was another time he thought he might've gotten through to him but absolutely didn't. Either way, he was onto the last of it and one more good soak would do him some good.

He felt like a 60's housewife drinking wine in the bath but usually it could fix almost any issue so he wasn't willing to give it up. This time, he felt himself relax a bit, but instead of his worries washing away he felt them pressing down on him still, as if held at arm's length but ready to pounce at any moment; but in all honesty, it could just be the wine relaxing him.

He got done with a few glasses before he heard a knock on the door. "One second." Janus jumped out of the tub and carefully dried himself off and, for force of habit, assumed Remus would be behind the door, simply wrapping a towel around himself to answer it.

Which is how he caused one Patton Sanders to let out a rather loud "Oh, my!" when he opened the door, turning a shade of red that Janus did not think possible.

"Oh, my...um," Janus echoed, closing the door to cover most of himself peeking his head out. "You'll have to excuse me Patton, I had assumed you were Remus, did you need something?"

Patton was decidedly looking everywhere besides Janus, eyes curiously flitting back to his bare chest every few glances, but he really was doing his best to not look, it made Janus smile and giggle drunkenly, "You can look at me, it's fine."

They had been tipsy together before and Patton had admitted he was mad at Roman and Virgil's behavior and when that topic shifted away, feeling like he should offer something as well, he had admitted that his scales often made him feel foreign and out of place. Patton said he thought they were pretty and Janus couldn't believe that was true, and said as much. That's probably not what the moral side was currently thinking of at that moment, he belatedly realized, but didn't much care.

Patton swallowed and leveled his eyes on his counterpart's face, every few words his eyes would stray for a few moments but snap back up after realizing what had occurred. "Right, um, I just wanted to invite you to movie night at 9, um, and Thomas will be there too!"

And Roman and Virgil. "Don't wait up for me," He said after a minute of thought, he would think about though "sorry, Patton."

"No, no, it's okay!" He could tell it wasn't, but couldn't think of what to say so they just sat there awkwardly for a moment.

"Hey, daddy!" Remus saved them. "if you two wanna fuck I can leave." He laughed as Patton sputtered, walking up to them and placing a hand on each of their shoulders.

"Remus, please, you'll break him," Janus rubbed his face to stop his own laugh, keeping his tone exasperated "my apologies again Patton, have a good night!"

"Yeah, um, see you at the movie Remus" He whispered, running off as fast as possible.

"You're invited?" Janus asked, shocked. He didn't know that any of the others tolerated him, including Thomas, just that they accepted that they couldn't just ignore him.

"Oh, pfft, no!" Remus laughed, pushing into the room and shutting the door behind him, "I just showed up and nobodies told me to fuck off yet, so im still showing up!" Remus wrapped his arms around Janus' waist, leading him to the bed and leaning in for a kiss.

"It seems as though they have come to expect you!" Janus murmurs against Remus' lips. He allows the conversation to drift away when the other doesn't respond, pulling them both down over his bed. They curled up there, Remus laying on top of the other with his head nuzzled into his neck, the towel that Janus was wearing forgotten.

Their relationship had changed drastically in the last while since Virgil left. They had both come to find each other in the dark sides commons one night and opened up about missing Virgil. It was the first time either of them had been so open with the other and it was the start of a beautiful and weird thing between them. It started slowly with just hanging out all the time, but then one night Remus shakily reached over during an anime he was watching and grabbed Janus' hand. It was all fast after that, and a supposed silver lining to Virgil's absence.

"You still..." Remus mumbled, brushing down Janus' arm slowly "have some.." he picked up the snake-like side's appendage. "Janus shreds to remove," and started to slowly take off the rest of his shed. Janus just turns his head over, sighing at the satisfying feeling, content to fall asleep and deal with washing the sheets later.

"Alright, come on!" Janus lets out a whine as Remus pulls him up and takes him back to the bathroom. The other got undressed and Janus removed the water from the tub while the shower turned on, Remus quickly washed off and then walked back to Janus. "Let's get the rest of this off, hmm?"

Janus nodded and settled down on the side of the tub, it was an ornate one with golden legs on the four sides in the shape of snakes and white marble coloring on the rest. "Are you for real not going to movie night?" Janus sighed as Remus carefully took off the rest of his dead skin, if you tried to remove it too soon it burned and might even bleed, but now it was high past time and felt like bliss.

"Although I would just love to be berated all night long, I think I will be content enough to read the night away." Janus felt a little disappointed at the thought, but even Patton was starting to irritate him. He was treating the deceitful side like a hurt puppy rather than confronting the others. He knew that it wouldn't help, but a little effort in the right direction wouldn't kill.

"Buzzkill...that's fair, and if that bottle was full before it got to your room you're also shitfaced." He laughed, picking up the almost empty container and chugging the rest.

The other just nodded. There was certainty a blur around the edges of his mind growing stronger, and he leaned into Remus' touch as he massaged his shoulders far after his shed was gone the rest of the way. "I think I would just like to go to bed, okay?"

"Do you know people spend ⅓ of their life asleep, meaning that people waste 229'961 hours of their life so they can hallucinate while drooling?"

"Logan has been a bad influence on you," Janus mumbles as they both dry off and make it back to Janus' room. "You should still go, if you want."

Remus in response snuggled under the covers with Janus and closed his eyes, shrugging. "I'm good here, boo, at least until you fall asleep."

"Thank you," the yellow side grumbles, it does take awhile for him to actually rest, but Remus pulled out some sort of book Janus knew better than to look at, and seemed content enough to stay.

---

Janus woke up from a nightmare with a scream and immediately fell into a panic attack. He tried to get the air past his lungs and tore through his hair, his face and arms heavy and numb to him.

Remus was around him a moment later, hugging his shoulders and badly guiding him through a breathing exercise. It took a few minutes but he got back down to where he could speak.

"What if I'm bad for Thomas?" He whispered, hands falling into his lap, he swallowed and almost started to wonder if Remus had heard him. A mantra of monster, monster, monster, monster was cycling through his head, leftover fragments of the cacophony in his dream that was already becoming hard to remember.

"What? " Remus sounded furious, his voice a low growl and Janus folded in on himself, closing his eyes, arms going around his chest.

"Virgil said...I just...no one ever thinks that they're the bad guy, I was happy to play the part if it meant I could get Thomas to see...but what if I wasn't...?" His voice wavered, he knew he was going to regret telling Remus who exactly caused this particular episode, but maybe he deserved it after all the crap he'd been pulling.

"This has to stop!" Remus spat, voice still low. Another aspect that is opposite from Roman, when Remus gets angry it's a cold, quiet fury "when are you going get your head out of your ass, Janny? My fuckass brother gets butthurt once and you're just going to let everything slide by from now on?"

"It's not like that, I don't want anything getting in between me and Thomas or hurting him and that situation has clearly has done both, things will smooth over-"

"Will they really stop though," Remus softened. "You have proved yourself already and Thomas has even told them to chill and they are not any closer to being done with their crap!"

They both stayed quiet for awhile after that..."you're right, something has to budge, im sorry".

"You shouldnt be apologizing to me, i'm not mad at you... i'm gonna go get you some of those sleepy bears" Remus jumped off the bed and Janus didn't expect him back for awhile. At least he put pants on.

Laying back down he realized he had only slept for about two hours, and movie night was on downstairs. He burrowed down with a groan, they had to have heard him scream. He begged the universe that Remus would just go and get the melanin gummies from the kitchen and that would be the end of it.

Of course that wasn't the end of it, but at least Janus wasn't aware for a while.

---

Remus was absolutely fuming when he left the room, intending to break down Virgil's door if it killed him, but when he heard a movie going on downstairs he figured that would work too.

The movie was immediately paused as Remus thundered down the steps. He realized just now that the others probably haven't seen him this truly angry, or even this serious, and Thomas was in the room. That almost changed his mind about whatever he was gonna do when he got to Virgil, but decided that Thomas might need to be privy to the conversation.

"You" He growled, pointing at Virgil who snapped his head up at him from his usual spot. Roman tried to get in the way but Remus summoned some weird handcuff thing and threw it in his direction. It latched onto both his hands and then flew to the wall behind him, connecting to it. It then pulled him back and away. He jumped up on the couch and pulled Virgil up by his hoodie, pushing him against the wall.

"What the-" Virgil started, but Remus shook him.

"You need to put your ducklings in a row before I kill em all!" Remus noted the fear in his eyes and how tight he was holding the other, and loosened his grip.

"What are you talking about?" Virgil said, not moving. Remus was sure he would know why he was here now that it was brought to his attention. Virgil always knew when there was a spike in anxiety somewhere in the mindscape and that much from Janus would have crossed the radar.

"You know damn well what, you pitch black nightmare!" Remus spat, "Do you honestly think that Thomas is better without Janus?"

That stopped him short, and over his shoulder Remus could see everyone's head snap from him to Virgil. "...I didn't say that''

"Well you said something that has him convinced him he's no good for Thomas!"

"He isn't," Virgil insisted, looking like he regretted the words immediately.

"Do you really believe that or are you hiding from the fact that you were wrong and are being an asshole's asshole about it?" That shut him up quick and Remus let him go and walked over to Roman who was as quiet as everyone else was, "Parties over you can go back to your movie". The anger had fizzled when he saw how scared Virgil was, and he had already told Roman off several times. Thomas would most likely have a few words with them, so that would have to be enough. He produced a key and unlocked his twin, with a click the cuffs and key disappeared.

There were a few scattered murmurs from the living room as Remus grabbed a few gummies and ate them, grabbing an extra and heading upstairs with it.

"Hey..." It was Thomas that spoke up, and in a quiet tone that gave Remus pause half-way up, "is everything alright, I mean... what happened?"

Remus opened his mouth to tell him, but closed it again when Logan shifted. "Ask him yourself". Thomas nodded, clearly a bit disappointed with the answer and Remus went to leave.

"He had a panic attack," Virgil mumbled, looking down at his feet numbly.

The others in the room looked mostly shocked but Thomas looked aghast. Before he could say anything else Remus huffed in disgust and walked away to go take care of Janus.

---

Janus stayed in his room most of the next few days, his panic attack was more than enough to tell him he needed a break, so unless directly called upon he would spend some time doing just that. He did leave a couple of times early in the morning to help Patton with breakfast and chat with Logan, but for a much shorter time and left quickly if anyone other than Remus showed face. Everyone was acting a bit strangely but Janus refused to put much thought into it. They all had nightmares, so hearing him yell yesterday shouldn't be something they are able to hold over his head.

He'd also scheduled an early meeting with Dr. Pacini, and he assured Janus that he was handling the situation very well. Taking a step back and avoiding anything that could be triggering for a short time could do some good, although he did ask Janus to lower his alcohol consumption to at least every other day and not fully isolate himself.

He also asked that Janus talk to Thomas about his worries, but was immediately shot down in the meeting. Now that it was in his mind though, Janus felt himself slowly lose the will to not do just that. He would have to explain why he had been absent recently and had made it a point to stop lying to Thomas.

Perhaps he would just explain certain things to his host, that he had wanted to relax a little and that was why he was distant the last few days. Something to sooth the others likely worries and it would be nice to see Thomas, as his company was rather nice.

That's what he told himself as he appeared in Thomas' room late one night, only to find the other on his laptop entranced by Netflix and unaware of his presence.

Janus smiled lightly, happy to see the other enjoying himself, although with the late hour Logan was sure to have a fit. Instead of interrupting he simply started to move about the room, he probably should have gone to bed himself, but a little tidying wouldn't hurt.

He was able to check if Thomas' house plant needed watering, fold some shirts on the floor and straighten up the chair in the corner before he was noticed.

"Oh, hey Janus" Thomas smiled and closed the laptop when he saw the other, "sorry I didn't see you there, um, what are you doing?"

"It's no bother Thomas, it's not like I've taken time out of my very busy schedule of doing nothing to come and check on you at a ridiculous hour only to have you pay me no mind while I clean your room" He waved his hand dismissively and sat next to Thomas, who let out a soft laugh.

"Yeah, I actually wanted to check on you, I haven't seen you in the past few days and figured you might want some space but I was getting worried"

"Whatever would you need to be worried about?" Janus tried, icy trepidation making its way up his spine, "I'm doing well".

Thomas paused, looking a bit guilty "look, Jan, I know that you had a panic attack and you don't have to talk about it now but i'd like to maybe figure out why so I can help"

Janus paused, ready to deny and avoid but Thomas gave him that 'im Thomas and too wholesome and caring for this world look' and he signed quietly to himself, now at a loss for words. He felt panic brewing at being so exposed and a slight anger at himself for letting Thomas worry about him.

"You really don't have to talk about it, I swear, and i'm worried but I know you can take care of yourself and..." Thomas filled the prolonged silence with rushed and nervous words that Janus wanted to interrupt but his mouth just wasn't working.

He could say many things. Something to soften the blow, a half-truth that Thomas wouldn't fall for but would allow given the circumstances. He could lie, say that whatever Remus said was just to throw Thomas off, but Thomas had not mentioned Remus and if Janus did then that would be an easy hole to poke through. He could tell Thomas he wasn't ready to discuss it and be left feeling awkward and guilty, because while that isn't necessarily a lie, he would still be keeping secrets from Thomas.

All of these thoughts swirled through Janus's head as Thomas's rambling became muffled and his breath came in shorter gasps.

"Do you think i'm evil?" It was the first thing on Janus' tongue and the last thing he actually wanted to open up to Thomas about. He didn't know if he would be able to take the answer being yes, but a lie to try and comfort him would tear him to pieces.

After a long silence Thomas finally spoke,"What?". His voice was gentle but alarmed, meant to brush away Janus' worries.

The deceptive side tried to respond but he stopped and took a shaky breath, grounding himself. "It has been on my mind for awhile, I know it is unreasonable to ask you to answer that, I just...its tough being insulted by people you (that Thomas cares) care about and I am concerned as to how their opinions are affecting your own"

"Janus, it's not unreasonable to voice your concerns, and... I can't say with certainty that I don't view you as at least a little bad, but i'm working on unlearning that type of thinking and Virgil and Roman aren't going to make me change my mind on that, okay?"

Janus' body relaxed from the tension he didn't know he was holding and he sighed, leaning heavily on his hands. That was somehow the perfect response and Janus felt some sort of weight leave him. "Woah, hey, its okay", Thomas scrambled forwards to sit next to where Janus was, rubbing circles on his back, "Did I say something wrong?"

Janus shook his head, confused as to what the other meant, until he realized he was shaking and had started crying. Shame and fear rose past his relief, but Thomas had wrapped his arm around the others shoulder and Janus couldn't stop himself from accepting the comfort.

He leaned into Thomas' hug, putting his face onto the others shoulder as he let out the first real sob he'd let happen in months. Thomas, ever patient, simply whispered soothing words and rubbed circles on his back.

It took several minutes for Janus to calm down, but once he did he remained in Thomas' grasp for a while longer. "I didn't mean..." Janus started to pull back not sure what he was going to say and looked down at Thomas' shirt, wet with tears, "to ruin your shirt" he finished lamely.

Thomas just frowned and shook his head, worry creasing his brow. Janus sighed and looked away, rubbing his forehead. Thomas had never seen Janus like this, sure he was less guarded around his host but he still wasn't sure what to tell Thomas now that he had all of a sudden broken down. "I feel...better now" was what eventually came out, along with a shaky laugh.

"That's good" Thomas smiled, patting him awkwardly on the back. "Are the others all busy, or, I mean, do you have someone to be with right now, I guess"

"No, Remus is in the imagination and I believe all others are resting, but I can assure you that I will take care of myself." He winked at the other "self-care and all that".

That earned him a laugh, "Right, yeah...you mean a lot to me Janus, okay, I really hope that I wasn't hurting you by not telling you that sooner"

"No, Thomas, I should have come to you sooner and it's really not as bad as it might seem, I am a professional at bottling up my emotions, as it were"

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense..." They sat in comfortable silence for awhile after that, taking a minute to let everything soak in, "If you wanna stay, I was watching the office?"

"That sounds abhorrent" Janus jibed, as he waved his hand and changed into his pajamas, sitting down next to Thomas as he started up the laptop again.

After a few episodes Janus felt his body get lighter and he fell asleep content and laughing with Thomas.

Thank you so much for reading everyone, I appreciated every like and comment and feel free to critique! I wish you well and goodnight!

AFTERWORD IS POSTED! I JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO LINK IT IM SORRY!

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mtherhino · 4 years ago

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One side, Two lives

Chapter two

Somethings off, something

First Next

Warnings: slight mention of eating disorder, I think that’s it though

He seems a bit off, Virgil thought to himself. He was honestly not very good when it came to emotions, so he didn’t really have a place to judge, but still. Virgil watched as the Prince went back to his room after his flamboyant wave. The Former Dark side shrugged off the others weird demeanor and put on his head phones. He as still very tired so he just selected MCR and put it on shuffle.

He decided to head over to to the kitchen, a light snack before dinner couldn’t hurt much. He passed Logan on his way there and saw that he was reading some kind of murder mystery book. Probably going to have a few scenes from that in Thomas’s nightmares tonight. Virgil grumbled a bit as he headed over to the fridge. It looked liked Patton was a almost done making dinner so he couldn’t eat a lot. He grabbed an apple from the fridge and went to sit on the counter.

Logan, somehow sensing him, he turned to the Anxious side and gave him a glare, to which Virgil just gave him a smug smirk. Ever since the others risked themselves by going to his room uninvited he’s become a lot more confident and open with them. It was honestly, nice, to have friend again.

Though as todays events came to mind his smirk turned into a frown. Deceit trying to make Thomas lie to his friend just to go to the call back had really stressed him out. Sure, he wanted to go to the callback to, but his friends needs where more important than his! I mean, if they found out Thomas lied for his own gain, they might think he’s horrible and wont want to be his friend anymore! What if-

“Virgil”

The hoodie covered side looked up to Patton who had a worried look on his face.

“Are you ok kiddo?” Patton asked. Oh, Virgil thought, I almost went into a panic attack. He took a few deep breath before looking up once more and giving the fatherly the side a small smile.

“Yah Dad, I’m fine, todays just been really stressful.” Patton gave a comforting smile, “ok son, well diners ready so could you please grab Roman for me?” “Sure pop star” he said as he jumped of the counter.

Virgil hummed along slightly to his music as he headed down the hallway. Romans room was pretty close to his, which Virgil found kinda odd since the farther along the hallway goes the darker the mind gets.

He stopped at the Princly side’s door and pulled off his headphones and opened the door just a crack. Soft humming came from the room and Virgil couldn’t help himself but to look in. He saw Roman siting on his bed, listening to what he could only guess where Disney song and oh so softly singing along.

Virgil was slightly amazed. It was so odd to see the flamboyant side being so calm and peaceful. Another odd fact however was that he had on sweatpants and and a dark grey crop top. Cute.

Before he could be amazed any further, Roman sniffed the air, probably smelling the pasta, and sat up. Nearly panicking, the purple side closed the door and knocked lightly.

“Just a minute!” Roman yelled from the other side of the door. Only now did Virgil notice that his ears where slightly red.

What the heck! Why are my ears so warm! He threw his hoodie over his head and silently panicked as too why he had thought cute when he saw Princy. It took longer than expected but eventually the Prince came out with a pair of loose jeans and a red t-shirt saying “royalty” it gold letters.

Why did he change? The anxious boy wondered in his head while looking up at the prince.

“Hey Ro, Pat said that dinner is ready” “Alright Virge, lets get going then!” Roma said with a smile.

The two walked to the kitchen together and saw that the table was already all set up and Logan was already in his seat, book still in hand.

“Hi guys! Grab a seat and get ready for some great chicken Alfredo!” Patton shouted form the kitchen as he was picking up a large dish off pasta.

The table was small and round, but it felt so comforting to Virgil, the entire light side of Thomases mind was, in his opinion, a lot better than the dark sides area. They had their own main room and kitchen there but it always smelt like something was burning and the lights were flickering no matter what any of the dark sides tried.

“I figured after the stressful day we all had that we deserved a nice meal to brighten the mood.” Patton said smiling and setting the pasta down. Roman’s smile looked a little more forced after that comment, but no one seemed to notice.

Every started to fill their plates with food, Patton’s plate seemed to have a small mountain on it. Virgil chuckled softly as Logan reminded everyone health facts throughout dinner and reminded them not to over eat.

However he smile turned into one of confusion as he saw Romans plate. I the amount must have only been a small handful of pasta and the side was mostly just pushing it around the plate with his fork. When he did take bites they were extremely small. The purple side found this a bit weird but just reasoned to himself that the royal must have had something to eat earlier on.

Dinner went well, Patton tried to make puns, accused Logan of making a few of his own and overall a nice family time. A bit surprisingly Roman offered to wash the dishes so that the others could talk a bit more, it wasn’t that Roman didn’t help out or anything, but he usually loved to tell the others about whatever project he was working on.

However, Virgil just had to start up a bit of banter with him, what could he say, it was their thing.

“The Prince is willing to lower his pride for us commoners?” He of course meant it as a joke, but he saw it. Princy stumbled, ever so slightly, when he heard the word pride. But being the actor he was, he quickly corrected himself and turned to the other with a smug face.

“What is a Prince if not chivalrous?” He retorted.

After everything was put away the sides dispersed to go to their own rooms. Well, except for Virgil, he always like to sit in the silence of the night for a few minutes. He sighed in content as the threw himself onto the couch and put his headphones back on, this time selecting Panic! at the Disco. Dying in LA started playing and Virgil started softly singing along. Sure, it was a supposed to be a sad song but he just found it so calming and soft compared to others.

He was so focused with his music that he didn’t notice the other side walking into the room, at least not until he heard a soft “Wow” from the walkway. He quickly looked up and saw Roman standing their with a form of wonder painted on his face. Virgil blushed from the embarrassment of getting caught.

Sure, he sometimes sang a bit in videos, but he always played it off as if he was kinda forced to sing along with the others. So being caught red handed about the fact that he actually enjoyed seeing was a bit embarrassing.

Roman seemed to shake himself out of his head.

“That was, um, some lovely singing Virgil.” He said as he scratched the back of his neck and tried to seem less completely and utterly amazed by the others soft side. He tried to hide it as best as he could, but he did indeed have a light blush on his cheeks.

“Ha, thanks Princy, what are you doing up? Don’t princes need their beauty sleep or something?” Virgil said, trying to steer away form the previous topic. Roman was slightly caught of guard in his head, having completely forgotten what he came to get, but as always he didn’t let his thoughts reach his face.

“Just getting some water Hot Topic.” The Prince said with a smile. Virgil watched as Roman went to the kitchen and got the smallest glass of water possible that was filled to the top with ice. Well, that’s odd. The royal walked back over and the anxious side didn’t feel the need to shut off his questions this time, maybe with Roman tired he could get an actual answer.

“Hey Roman, are you doing ok? You seem a bit, off, today.” Virgil tried to phrase carefully, he didn’t want to offend the creative side, though with his ego he doubted he could do any real damage.

Roman looked back at him and seemed to be considering something in his head, finally sighing and putting a hand though his hair. “It’s just been a long and eventful day Virgil, I’ll be right as rain by morning.” He said back to his worried friend. In all honesty. Virge thought that wasn’t the full truth, but he had to agree, it had been a long day.

I mean, seeing Deciet again, having to skip something that could help Thomas’s carrier, and being accused of just overall being a bad person was a lot for anyone to have in one day. Plus with Roman having the final vote on the matter, that must not sit quite right with him, seeing as he is Thomas’s hopes and dreams.

“Yah, its been quite a day, guess we could all use a good nights sleep. Good night Princy.” Virgil said with a wave. Roman smiled and waved a he walked of towards his room, “good night emo.”

Virgil gave a sigh as he put his headphones back on, he hoped that Roman would be ok and get some sleep. Although he would never admit it he cared about the creative side quite a bit. He was exhausted so even though he was on the couch, he closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep still listening to his music.

Another chapter! Sorry thats its short, this has been a stressful week for me. Anyways, someone asked to be tagged for this strory so I guess their will now be a tagged list? Sorry I’m still new to this but if you want I’ll tagged you for the chapters that are to come! Anyways, thats all for now humans, have a good day!

Tag list

@lovelivingmydreams

Oh! Here’s the first chapter if anyone is looking for it

#virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #deciet sanders #pride!roman #sander sides #thomas sanders #slight mention of eating disorder #my writing

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hopelikethemoon · 5 years ago

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The Shop (Javier x Reader) {MTMF} [smut]

Title: The Shop Rating: Explicit Length: 3000 Warnings: Smut (Discussion of sex toys and other sex-related topics, and a heavy dose of smooching and rough sex) Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set December 1997. Starts with Javier POV and shifts to Reader’s. Two-part two adventure. Summary: Javier returns to the shop.

Taglist: @grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes @thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow @hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501 @fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut @just-add-butter @snivellusim @amarvelousmandalorian @lukesrighthand @historynerd04 @mrsparknuts @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @exrebelshocktrooper @awesomefandomsunited @ah-callie @swhiskeys @lady-tano @beskar-droids @space-floozy @cable-kenobi @longitud-de-onda @cool-ultra-nerd @himbopoes @findhimfives @pedrosdoll @seeking-a-great--perhaps @frietiemeloen @arrowswithwifi @random066 @uncomicalhumour @heather-lynn @domino-oh-damn @cyarikaaa @ahopelessromanticwritersworld (if I forget to tag you, I’m sorry)

Javier tapped his thumb against the steering wheel as he stared across the street at the shop. He felt like he was sitting on a stakeout, sitting there waiting for someone to come out. But in reality, he was waiting to get the courage to go inside. It hadn’t been so bad when he went in with her. No. It had been fucking nervewracking.

What if one of his students saw him going into a sex shop? How would he ever live that down?

Christmas was right around the corner and he wanted to get something new. And considering what came from the last trip to the sex shop — he had a good feeling about this venture. And this time he wanted more of the focus to be on her. Sure, she was an active participant in the… pegging, but he wanted to do something for her.

And that was the only reason he managed to get himself out of the car and into the shop. For her.

“Good afternoon sir!” Rocky said cheerily from behind the counter. “How can I help you tod—” He clasped his hands together. “Welcome back! Satisfied with your previous purchase?”

Javier swallowed thickly, shoving his hands into his jacket pocket. “You could say that.” He cleared his throat, looking away nervously. “I’m looking for something for her this time.”

“I see.” He nodded, pursing his lips thoughtfully. “What are you thinking of?”

Javier glanced towards the door. He could still run.

“I don’t know.” He admitted with a shrug. “Outside of her, um… vibrator, we haven’t really explored much with.” Javier gestured towards the aisles of toys.

Rocky crossed his arms across his chest, canting his head to the side as he regarded Javier. “You’re very uncomfortable with all of this, aren’t you?”

“You could tell?” Javier cracked a faint smile, nodding his head slowly. “Our last purchase was our first real exploring outside of the ‘norm’.”

“There are no norms. It’s about what you’re comfortable with.” Rocky explained, “I don’t want to assume anything about your relationship, but neither of you struck me as the vanilla type.”

Javier scratched at the back of his neck, “You could say that, I guess.”

“Come with me,” Rocky waved his hand, urging Javier to follow him down one of the aisles. Javier glanced at the shelves, feeling somewhat scandalized by what he saw. He never had a problem going into brothels in Colombia — but there was something about being in a sex shop that made him want to crawl into a hole and die.

It was probably that Texas upbringing, like she’d teased.

“And roleplay is entirely out?” Rocky questioned, nodding his head towards a display of costumes that were clearly designed for sex.

“Yeah.” Javier nodded. “Not really our thing.”

“Then I really think toys are going to be your best bet,” He stopped walking, gesturing towards the shelf.

What the hell was he doing there?

Javier had stared down the barrel of guns, but there was something truly unsettling about staring at a display of neon on colored dildos styled to look like cocks. Shit, he couldn’t wait to tell her about this. If he didn’t go with something, she wasn’t going to believe he’d actually gone by himself.

“Personally, I’m not really looking for something to uh,” He gestured to a toy that seemed obscenely large. “Compete with.”

“Understood.” Rocky nodded, looking back at the display then. “Have the two of explored a little rear entry?”

“You gotta say it like that?” Javier huffed, his hands going to his hips. “Yeah. We’ve been doing it for years.” He shrugged. “Why?”

“You could always spice things up,” Rocky pointed to one of the toys that was advertised as a Booty Rocket.

“Jesus Christ.” Javier swore under his breath, rocking from his heels to the balls of his feet. “What did I say about not wanting to compete.”

“Oh, no! No.” He shook his head, “This has the potential to be quite fun for both of you.” He picked up the book and showed it to Javier. “You insert this into—”

“Yep.” Javier cut him off.

“I have heard from many satisfied couples who have used this, or one of the similar toys, in tandem with regular intercourse. I understand the vibrations are quite pleasurable for both participants.”

Javier blinked slowly, his jaw dropping a little as he realized what Rocky was saying. Oh. “I see. Well, you didn’t lead us astray last time.”

Rocky grinned. “You would not believe how many couples I have helped. I call it a gift.”

“Yeah, alright.” Javier clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Wrap it up like one.” He hesitated, “And thank you.”

“It’s no problem at all.” Rocky assured him as he headed back towards the counter. Javier lingered for a second, his eyes wandering over the display warily with a shake of his head. Things certainly hadn’t been dull since she stepped into his life.

————

“It’s not Christmas yet,” You remarked as you spotted a neatly wrapped box sitting at the foot of the bed. “Javi, what’s this?”

“You’ve got to open it.” Javier smirked as he shut the bedroom door behind him. “Otherwise you’re not going to believe where I was today.”

“Where were you today?” You questioned, shaking the box curiously. It wasn’t like you didn’t already know what he’d gotten you for Christmas. You had been there when he’d picked the bracelet out at the jewelry store.

That was going to be the closet you ever got to letting a man pick out a piece of jewelry for you. As it was, the jeweler had been so coy with his remarks about, “Wouldn’t you rather pick out a sparkling diamond ring?” No, you just wanted the platinum bracelet that matched Javier’s ring. And you wanted your daughters’ birthdays engraved into it.

But that wasn’t this. That gift was already wrapped and under the Christmas tree, alongside the fountain pen Javier had been dying for. Mostly because Connie had gotten Steve a similar one for his birthday a few months back.

Javier joined you at the foot of the bed, looking far too pleased with himself for it to be any normal type of gift. You gave him a curious look before you started to peel the paper off.

“Oh my God.” You laughed as you read the name on the box. “Are you serious, Javier?”

“Serious as a heart attack.” Javier retorted. “You would’ve been proud of me.”

You cupped his cheek, leaning in to press a quick kiss to his lips. “I’m always proud of you, but holy shit.” You laughed again, tearing off the rest of the paper and tossing it on the floor. “This is probably the last thing I would’ve expected from you, Javi.”

Javier shrugged, “I even had a whole conversation with Rocky.”

“And you didn’t die? The earth didn’t swallow you whole?” You pinched his side.

“Ow! What the fuck?” He rubbed at the spot.

“Just checking to see if you’re corporeal.”

“Fuck off.” He rolled his eyes, before gesturing to the toy. “Do you like it?”

You looked back down at the product. “Aside from the name — Booty Rocket, really? — I like it.” Your eyes wandered over the back of the packaging. “Ten speeds? Seven is enough to kill me with my vibe.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Rocky seemed to think it would be something we’d both enjoy.” Javier nervously cleared his throat. “He suggested that it could be used during… regular sex.”

Your brows shot upwards, “Wait, so you and the toy?” You looked back down at the neon purple rocket in your hands, before looking back at Javier. “I am very into that idea.”

“Really?” He honestly seemed relieved. “After… what we explored, I wanted to try something that was more about you, baby.” Javier pressed his tongue to the inside of his cheek, giving you a look.

You leaned in and kissed him again, letting your lips linger against his. “That sounds like heaven to me.” You whispered, sitting the toy aside on the bed as you slid your fingers through his hair. “I can’t believe you went in there alone, Javi.” You actually giggled against his lips.

“I nearly left.” He admitted, snaking his arm around your waist and pulling you closer. “But I knew if I came home empty-handed, you wouldn’t have believed me.”

You bumped your nose against his, “You’re not wrong.” You never would’ve pictured Javier going into that shop again — with or without you. He had been so painfully uncomfortable the first time, you were certain he was not going to go for anything inside. You had been pleasantly surprised, twice now.

“I figured.” Javier ran his hand up your back. “Do you really like it, baby?”

“I love it.” You promised him. “And I love that you went back there.”

He shrugged, “I only went for you.”

“Really?”

Javier nodded. “I wanted to get something where the focus was on you.”

You bit down on your bottom lip, “You’re sweet.”

“Don’t let anyone know.” He teased, resting his hand on your knee and giving it a squeeze.

“I think it might already be out.” You laughed, scooting back on the bed. “Come here.” You nudged at his back with your foot as you sank back against the pillows. He smirked at him as you met his gaze.

Javier moved up the bed towards you until he was hovering above you. “You think that secret’s out?”

You nodded, running your fingers over his forearms as he pressed his palms into the mattress at your shoulders. “Mhm.” You hummed as you trailed your foot up the back of his leg. “You kiss too many boo-boos to be anything other than sweet, Javi.” You reminded him as you combed your fingers through his hair.

Javier dipped down to kiss you, nipping at your bottom lip before he pulled back to meet your gaze. He brushed his knuckles against your cheek, “What can I say? I love my girls.”

“And we love you.” You whispered, trailing your fingers down the back of his neck before stroking them over the column of his throat. “I can’t tell what I enjoy more…” You pursed your lips thoughtfully as you looked up at him. “When you punch someone for talking shit about us or when you’ve let Josie put bows in your hair.”

“Still thinking about Laredo?” He questioned as you brushed your thumb over his Adam’s apple.

You bit down on your bottom lip, nodding your head. “I’m still thinking about when you decked Chris too.” You admitted as your foot skimming over the back of his leg again, before your leg wrapped around his hip. “You get this fiery look in your eyes.” You told him, “It’s hot.”

Javier chuckled, tracing his thumb over your bottom lip. “You like that, huh?” He questioned, leaning down to kiss you. His tongue slid over your bottom lip, before he caught it between his teeth with just enough pressure to make you hiss. “You like it when I’m rough. Don’t you baby?”

“Yes.” You breathed out, fingers tightening in the fabric of his shirt as you arched up against him. “I love it.”

He pressed a line of kisses along your jaw, trailing his mouth down your throat, his tongue darting out against your skin. He shifted above you, letting more of his weight press you into the mattress and you relished the closeness.

You grabbed at the back of his t-shirt, trying to drag it up his back. Fingers greedy for the bare skin that was revealed. A soft moaned escaped you as he nipped at your earlobe, his breath hot against your ear. “Javi.”

Javier rolled his hips forward, the fabric of his jeans rough against your bare thighs where your sleep shorts had road upwards. His gaze flickered in the direction of his recent purchase. “Do you—“

“No.” You shook your head, leaning up to kiss him. “I just want you.”

Need burned straight through you as his tongue slipped past your lips, sweeping against your own as he kissed you. His hand moved to grap at your hip, fingers digging into the soft flesh there. The kiss broke only long enough for you to peel his shirt over his head, before discarding it over the side of the bed.

His mouth claimed yours again, your fingers curling around the back of his neck as he rocked into you. You could feel his cock straining against the front of his jeans, the hard length of his cock grinding against the thin fabric of your shorts and underwear. But it wasn’t enough. You wanted more.

You tugged at his hair, pulling him back as you drew in ragged breaths. “Are you going to tease me or are you going to fuck me, Javier?” You questioned, baiting him into action.

Javier caught your jaw roughly, even as his thumb soothed over your cheek. “Roll over.” He ordered you, before he released his hold on you and sat back on his knees.

You looked up at him with a smirk, “Make me.”

“Now.” He drawled out as he jerked his belt from its belt loops, tossing it aside.

“No.” You pressed your shoulders back against the mattress and arched your back, your eyes flickering downwards as you watched him unzip his jeans.

“You’re really pushing your luck tonight, baby.” Javier said lowly as he grabbed your leg, running his hand up your thigh as he leaned forward again. His mouth slanting against yours far too briefly before he pulled back, “Roll over. Now.”

You huffed, shoving at his chest to give yourself room to move as you submitted to his request. His lips moved to the crook of your neck and you couldn’t help but smile, reaching back to rake your fingers through his hair. “You don’t have to go easy on me, babe.” You reminded him.

His fingers curled loosely around your throat, his lips close to your ear. “Who said anything about easy?” Javier questioned, his fingers splaying out against your throat. “On your knees.”

You complied, fueled by the way he tightened his grip on your throat when you hesitated. Javier tugged your shorts and underwear down your ass, leaving them bunched around your thighs as he moved above you. “Fuck.” You hissed out as you felt his cock brush against your skin.

“Is that what you wanted, baby?” He whispered against the shell of your ear as he slid the head of his cock between your slick folds, teasing you. “I wanna hear you say it.”

A moan rose up in the back of your throat, “Yes.”

Javier sat back on his knees, curling his arm around the middle for support as he kept his fingers wrapped around your throat, guiding you back against his chest. “You’re so fucking wet, baby.” He drawled out, dragging his cock over your sensitive flesh. “Is this all for me?” He questioned, catching your earlobe and biting down gently as he pressed into you.

“Javi.” You hissed as the angle had his cock hitting all the right spots within you. You reached behind you and curled your fingers around the back of his neck. There was something you had always loved about this — half-dressed and desperate for each other.

He pressed a tender kiss to the curve of your neck, his breath dancing over your skin as he exhaled. “You feel so fucking good, baby.” Javier said as he rolled his hips, his cock barely slipping from you before he was driving into you again.

Javier released his hold on your throat, his hand sliding down over your breasts through your shirt, before his hands grasped at your hips. He held you steady as he moved, fingers digging into the soft flesh there.

You reached downwards, seeking out that little bundle of nerves between your thighs. “Harder.” You urged him as you circled your clit, your inner walls already fluttering as you felt your release starting to build.

You were going to be bruised tomorrow and you were going to love every moment of it. It was winter and sweaters and trousers could hide a variety of sins. “Javi.” You gasped as he kept driving into that sweet spot. Again and again.

“Come for me, baby.” Javier urged. There was something about the tone of his voice that went straight through you, stoking the flames in your veins. You arched back against his chest, crying out softly as your orgasm took hold. His hand replaced yours between your thighs, stroking his thumb over your clit as he slammed into you.

Your body clenched around him, milking his own release from him. He stiffened, breathing heavily against your shoulder before he started rocking his hips, his pace uneven as he spilled out within you.

Javier sat back on his legs, pulling you down onto his lap. His cock still buried within you. You sank against him, your still-clothed back pressed against his bare chest. “Holy shi— Fuck.” He muttered, rubbing lazy patterns over the tops of your thighs.

“Ditto.” You breathed out with a quiet laugh, reaching behind you to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I love you.”

He slid his hands over your waist, pressing a line of kisses over your clothed shoulder. “I love you too.” Javier muttered, “Never cease to amaze me.”

“That’s just the sex talking,” You teased, shifting in his lap. “Let’s try it this weekend.”

“Hmm?”

“Your gift.” You reminded him, tilting your head to look back at him. “Did you forget?” You questioned, brushing your fingers over his cheek as you turned enough to press a kiss to his lips.

Javier rubbed his hand over your hip, “I might’ve been distracted.” He mumbled as he nuzzled at your neck. “Sounds like the weekend is gonna be fun,” He said as he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“It always is.” You laughed softly as you sank back against him.

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

153 notes · View notes

hardskz · 6 years ago

Text

indulge.

pairing — hwang hyunjin x genderneutral! reader

genre — smut; dirty talk, masturbation, choking, praise kink, master kink, hand kink, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, hard dom!hyunjin

synopsis — after avoiding hyunjin for weeks because you got off whilst imagining his face, he’s making it clear that you haven’t been the most subtle one when staring at him. alternatively, 5.5k words of hyunjin being a cocky little fucker.

note — today marks the one month anniversary of this tragedy of a blog, so here’s my gift to you all thank you for supporting me <3 please enjoy this pwp monster! i tried to make the reader genderneutral since the original request used they/them pronouns and fuck it was a challenge and idk if it’ll ever do that again. (writing porn without using the words dick or clit or good boy/girl when referring to the reader is hard i dare you and i cringed writing this out kms) in any case, the reader is a bottom in this fic!

Having a crush on your friend’s bandmate is one thing. Being attracted to said bandmate to the point where your underwear grows damp just by looking at him (in real life and on the internet) is something entirely worse.

It’s in the middle of the night when you wake up with your heart pounding against your chest and sweat trickling down your back beneath the loose t-shirt. Your wet dreams have been appearing a fuck times too often and feature the same person over and over again to your dismay. You’re lucky you’re the only one in the house over the weekend because you don’t necessarily want your moaning at 3 AM to be the main topic during breakfast.

Hoping to cool down while recalling the many times Minho has complained about one of his cats pissing on the couch isn’t working this time. In retrospect, thinking about Minho’s weird cat antics in an attempt to get out of the mood has never been completely effective for the past three months. Sure, picturing your best friend ranting with his mouth full of half-chewed Cheetos and getting some crumbs on your lap is a definite turn-off, but the needy wish of getting dicked by a particular bandmate of his still lingers.

It’s been three months since you realized that the horny part of your brain has stopped projecting different guys out of your mental archive of masturbation-material faces. Instead, it casts one incredibly handsome — he’s so handsome he should be illegal at this point, you decide — person in your mind. Every. Fucking. Time.

You’ve been trying to erase him out of your head, but perhaps it wasn’t your brightest idea when you tried searching for a new figure to replace him with a clear vision in mind. It took you approximately two weeks to realize that you were looking for someone with long and nimble fingers and plump lips and just everything that Hwang Hyunjin is.

Because of knowing that fucker named Hyunjin in person, you haven’t had any sexual release for the past three months. Again, it’s one thing to have a crush on your friend’s bandmate, but it’s a completely different thing when you get off on said bandmate and then have to face him every week and pretend like nothing’s wrong. You’re bound to see him at least once a week because Minho always forces you to be the judge of the group’s new choreography because it’s, quote Minho, “crucial to getting the opinion from an outsider.” And that although he knows you’re far from a dancer. (You’ve taken one single dance class because he hauled your ass to his studio before he became a trainee and ever since, you haven’t stepped a foot into the dance studio.)

You see Hyunjin more often than compared to the remaining members of the group. Because of fucking course, he’s part of the dance line and also contributes into making the choreography, so it shouldn’t be so surprising that he’s started to act comfortably around you. To your horror, him acting comfortably also includes being touchy. That being said, he’s developed a habit of throwing an arm around your shoulder or pinching your cheeks to spite you alongside Minho. It’s only a matter of time until you have no other choice but to give in because Hyunjin is getting more casual by the day. Then again, you’re holding off because you don’t want to have a bad conscience and—

Fuck it.

You hesitantly bunch your blanket to the side and slip a hand underneath the waistband of your underwear, shuddering at the slightest pressure and opening your mouth to let out a silent gasp. Fucking hell, three months of no touching has made you so sensitive. You try to take it slow, carefully ghosting around your weak spots as you graze your other hand over the inside of your thighs, a mewl leaving your mouth.

A wet patch has formed in your underwear and you’re leaking so much that it’s enough to coat two fingers in slick. By then, your body has switched to autopilot and before you can process it, a finger prods at your entrance and that’s when you realize there’s no use in beginning slowly but surely.

You pump your finger in and out of you at a slower pace and your body’s reacting to it astoundingly sensitive to your ministrations. Your hips buck up into the air in the hopes of more friction and muffled curses fly out of your mouth without intervention. All sense of reason flies out the window when you curl your finger and graze your sweet spot. At this point, you’re already imagining it’s Hyunjin’s finger teasing you, Hyunjin watching your squirming form with hungry eyes and knowing that you’re at the brink of begging him to hit your spot.

Once you’re fixated on Hyunjin, you don’t hold back any longer. You get rid of your underwear completely and then slip a second finger in, whimpering at the stretch. It’s been so long, way too long of having last felt this way and when you start scissoring your fingers, you can’t help but bring “Hyunjin, f-fuck,” past your lips. Why the fuck did you sentence yourself to a masturbating-to-Hyunjn prohibition in the first place? It feels so much better now that Hyunjin’s name spills out of your mouth like a prayer.

With every passing second, your movements grow more frantic. The sound of skin slapping and slick squelching in you and your ragged breath resound within your four walls. The bed starts to creak a little, the blanket has somehow found its way to the cold floor and all you can think about is an imaginary Hyunjin fingering you in a moderate tempo and reminding you how wet you are for him and how well you’re doing.

Your imagination is running wild to the point of no return. You’re imagining Hyunjin’s forehead covered in sweat as he fucks you over with his hands, imagining his bangs falling above his eyes, imagining his tongue hungrily running over his plump, pink lips as he stares down at you. He’d smile amusedly at your whines, would coo about how much he loves hearing you so vocal and then mark you up in purple bruises. As much as he’d want to let everyone see the hickeys he planted on you, he’d know better and settle for your thighs, forcing you to keep them spread out for him. And even then, you wouldn’t be allowed to cum unless he gives you the green light.

“P-please, Hyunjin—” you whimper as you sense your high approaching and your fingers speed up. The sensation is becoming too much to handle, the idea of Hyunjin looking down at your with a coy smile and mumbling profanities as he rams his long, slender fingers into you and abuses your spot without a break. You’re not entirely sure what he’d say, but you’re sure that whatever it is, it’s downright filthy and sexy and affecting you more than he’d initially expect.

“Please, Hyunjin, I’m gonna… f-fu-u-uuck… I’m gonna—”

Hyunjin is a cocky little fucker who thrives on control, so he’d pull out and grin at you wickedly, continuing to leave marks on your thighs and restraining your hands from touching yourself. Your cry comes out louder than intended as you do so and you keep your legs spread apart, breath hitching as the cool air hits you bare.

Hyunjin is a kinky piece of shit who loves power. He’s also pretty damn aware of how nice and big his hands are, and you can’t help but want the feeling of his hand wrapped around your neck and his fingers in your mouth. He’d be so fucking smug, waiting for you to get teary-eyed and thrash around pathetically before he lets you indulge.

“I’ll be good for you, just— please—” your voice cracks towards the end and you turn your head to the side to bury your face into the pillow, muffling out your moans when you slowly finger yourself again, trembling legs still spread apart. “Fuck, Hyunjin, please let me cum!”

“Mmh, cum for me,” you imagine him rasping between low groans, a smug smirk etched on his face. “Since you’ve been so good for me.”

You pick up your pace, fingers drilling into you in an abusing manner and your body jolts up. You’re too far gone to control your voice, high-pitched moans and sobs and broken cries of his name bounce off the not-so soundproof walls, but holy fuck, you needed this so badly. Although Hyunjin would bathe in your sounds, his superiority kink would be fed even more once he shoves down his free fingers in your mouth and burns your tear-stained face in the back of his mind. That’s definitely something he’d do, so you shove three fingers into your mouth, imagining they were his. You whine at the thought of him tapping your tongue, a silent order to suck.

When you cum, it’s with a broken sob and Hyunjin’s satisfied grin in mind. Your body is trembling from the wave of pleasure flooding over you, mind hazy from the excessive stimulation. Three months of sexual frustration, you’re riding out three months worth of sexual frustration, so you don’t give a fuck about the drool running down your chin, tears staining your cheeks or the fact that your bedding is now sticky in cum and sweat. As you slowly come down from your high, you wipe off your hand on your shirt and try to catch your breath, eyes staring at the ceiling.

Well, you’re fucked. You finally committed the sin of masturbating to Hyunjin. You’re still basking in your moment of bliss and thus, you don’t care about the aftermath for now. But tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow you’ll regret what you just did. You just hope the regret won’t follow you strongly for the rest of your life.

Four weeks later and you’re still regretting it.

Nothing has changed so far; Minho still spams your inbox when you’re not yet in the practice room to review a choreography even though you still have ten minutes to get there, and Hyunjin still casually throws an arm around your shoulder and buries his face into the crook of your neck when he’s exhausted and not too sweaty.

Nothing has changed so far except that so much has changed.

Obviously, you can’t avoid Hyunjin like the plague — even though that idea sounds fucking genius — but you’re trying to keep a distance from him. You’ve started avoiding his gaze, giving curt answers when he asks you if anything is wrong (“Why should it be? Everything’s peachy!” God Gracious, who the fuck uses the word peachy?) and always find an excuse to run away when you sense that he’s about to start a longer conversation (“Did you hear that? I should go help Felix!”).

You arrive at the practice room ten minutes later than usual due to the traffic jam and immediately slip out of your new shoes once the door slams shut. Fucking hell, you really should’ve worn those out first. “Minho, don’t even dare to bitch around, my feet hurt and it’s currently rush hour and the last thing I need is you breathing down my…” your voice trails off when you look up and only see Hyunjin raising a brow at you.

Oh. Fuck.

“Where are Minho and Felix?” you ask, realizing that you two are the only ones in the room. You try not to stare too much at his defined arms or plump lips or just the fact that he’s dressed in loose pants and a sleeveless shirt.

“Hello to you too,” Hyunjin scowls and walks towards your direction to put his half-empty water bottle back on the table. “Chan is treating them to hotpot. Well, he invited all of us but I really need to perfect this move, so I passed.”

“So that’s why Minho didn’t send me twenty voicemails today for being late, huh. And I can’t believe you passed on free food. Anyway—” you attempt to quickly slip your feet back into your uncomfortable sneakers. “I’m sorry for the intrusion, I’ll get going then—”

Before you know it, Hyunjin grips your wrist forcefully and cuts you off with a pout. “I still need someone to review my dance, though. Don’t you wanna keep me company?”

You ignore the shiver that runs down your spine and blink slowly. “Uh, you do know that I have no fucking clue about dancing.”

“(y/n), that’s not an answer to my question. Am I really that unbearable?”

“What? Of course not! I just don’t see how much of a help I can be here.”

His pout morphs into a smug smile. It’s as if he knows, but you can’t quite decipher what exactly. The grip on your wrist tightens to the point where you should be worried about your blood circulation but instead, you’re enjoying the long, calloused fingers on your skin.

“Then let me ask you something else. Do I ever cross your mind?” Hyunjin’s tone is light and melodic, but the underlying catch is hard to miss. You gulp, suddenly wanting Minho to appear out of nowhere and begin his speech about why the fuck cats deserve rights and are superior to the human race. The sudden mood shift grows insufferable as you slowly try to pull away. However, Hyunjin is persistent and never lets go and invades your personal bubble. That’s when you find your voice again. It’s small and shaky but it’s something.

“Hyunjin, you’re not making any sense—”

“Do you think about me? Dream about me?” you pale at the accusation. He knows. The smile on his face widens in victory. “Bingo.”

And just like that, he pushes you against the door before letting go of you. Now, you could run out of the room, the door handle is just a few inches away, but Hyunjin is strong and fast and there’s no way that you’d succeed in escaping. Not knowing what else to do without feeling as if you want the ground to swallow you whole, you just stand stiffly. Hyunjin laughs through his nose and shoves his hands into his pockets.

“C’mon, we both saw this coming.”

“Really?” you squeak, trembling at his presence. If only he leaned into you a little more, you’d feel his breath prickling your skin. “I-I mean, uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh really,” he sighs and then slams a hand against the door, right next to your face, the impact so loud that your body jolts. “Then please explain why you’ve been avoiding me as if I were carrying a contagious disease but then proceed to eye-fuck me when I turn my back to you. I’ve noticed the way you’ve been staring at me and honestly, it’s so cute but also so, so naive of you to think that I’m blind. You do know that this room is full of mirrors, right?”

Your eyes widen in fear. “W-what are you trying to say?”

“What I’m trying to say is that I’m intrigued by you. No, scrap that — I want you. I want to tear you apart. I want you to scream my name. I want you crying as you take my cock up to the hilt. I want a lot of things, so much more than you can imagine, but that’s not the point. Remember, I asked you a question: do I ever cross your mind?”

He reaches for your chin with his free hand, forcing you to meet his eyes. Albeit firm, his grip isn’t too harsh so that you can nod in response.

“Obviously,” he says casually, “I wanna know more though. Give me the gory details.”

You inhale sharply. Fucking hell. No. No. No. It’s already embarrassing enough that Hyunjin has noticed you mentally undressing him the entire time and you’re not going down the rabbit hole of “telling him all of the kinky shit you’ve imagined him do to you and potentially making your fantasies come true”.

Hyunjin makes a sad face, but his voice just drips in shameless glee. “I guess I’ll have to force you then. Didn’t peg you as a brat, but I can work with that too.”

“I’m not a—”

Before you finish wording out your complete thought, Hyunjin grabs you by the collar and pulls you in for a kiss. It’s sloppy and devoid of care or emotion, but it leaves you boiling hot and dizzy. Hyunjin knows no boundaries and slings one arm around your waist to draw you closer to him, the other hand resting at the back of your neck. He’s kissing you feverishly like a man starved, forces his tongue into your mouth and doesn’t give you any chance to pull away and breathe. Meanwhile, your hands find their way to his head and tug on strands of pitch-black hair. It’s a weak attempt to break off the kiss, but it just elicits a groan out of the back of his throat.

When you finally pull away, his eyes are hooded and his lips are red and swollen. Catching your breath, you somehow manage to stumble all the way to the back of the room. Hyunjin pushes you onto the semi-comfortable couch before he starts to kiss you again, breaking it off once to discard his shirt. At the sight of his defined abs (you’re finally seeing them in person and not in shitty LQ pictures that a fan took during a concert, thank you God), you suppress the need to run your hands over them.

“I’m glad you’re enjoying the show,” he rasps with a grin before he latches for another uncoordinated liplock. Saliva is dripping down from the corner of your lips, but neither of you seems to care.

Eventually, his hands start to roam your body, undoing the buttons of your shirt before sliding it off your shoulders and throwing it into a corner. He detaches his lips from you and before you can complain, he leans down to suck on the patch of skin below your collarbone. A shaky moan escapes your mouth and you throw your head back, whimpering when he begins to bite. Perhaps you got that partially right. Hyunjin loves to mark, just in dangerous areas to your dismay. One slip up and people are going to see the bruises.

His hands begin to wander lower and lower. They’re halfway undoing the zipper when you sob at the faintest amount of pressure and weep, “Stop stop, Hyunjin— stop!”

He stops in his tracks and looks up at you, clearly impatient. “What?”

“I’m, u-uh, I’m really sensitive, okay?” you feel the blood rush to your cheeks when you say it out loud. “I haven’t got dicked in a while and also haven’t been, uh, touching myself, so uh…”

“Why the fuck not?”

“B-because the last time I touched myself, I’ve been thinking about you!”

“So you got off on… me?”

Hyunjin looks so fucking smug, so satisfied, and you’re pretty damn sure it’s not a trick of the light and his eyes really turned a shade darker. Yeah, that superiority kink? You were right on that, he definitely loves to bask in power.

“Yes, I did. Happy? As I was saying, I’m really fucking sensitive right now, especially my thighs, so don’t—” Hyunjin quickly zips down the rest, applying pressure in all the right places and when he strips off the jeans, he makes sure that his knuckles graze your inner thighs, “d-don’t do shit like this— oh f-fuck, Hyunjin!”

“Yeah, I don’t fucking care.” he shrugs and your pants to God knows where. “By the way, I cut you off before. What did you want to say? You’re not a…?”

“I’m not a brat.”

“You sure do act like one,” he says and adds after a moment of contemplation, “Tell you this. You tell me exactly what you imagined me to do when you touched yourself and I’ll see for myself if you’re really not a brat.”

“What?”

“I wanna know what you want me to do to you. You wanna be good for me, don’t you? Then tell me.”

“You were… I— wait, someone might come in—”

“The practice room is booked for us for another hour. Now go on, I’m listening.”

You squirm when his fingers ghost over the inside of your thighs. Any attempts to move away prove themselves futile as Hyunjin plants you onto the couch with his free hand on your hip. “You had— hhhh. o-oh fuck— your fingers in my mouth, told me to suck and— a-aaa-ah— fingered me then…”

He hums appreciatively before releasing the grip on your hip and violently shoving three fingers into your mouth. His fingers are longer than you expected and you close your eyes in bliss as you earnestly suck on them. Eventually, he starts thrusting them in and out of you, tempo getting faster with every movement and you almost gag when he reaches further into your mouth than you ever could with your own. “Baby, you should see yourself. You look so pretty like this.”

When you moan around his fingers, he snickers. “Do you like it when I praise you? We haven’t even started and you’re already doing so well.”

The disappointment you feel when he pulls out is quickly replaced by even greater pleasure when he presses his thumb directly over the wet patch on your underwear. Hyunjin’s not even applying a lot of pressure, but you’re already at the brink of screaming. “So sensitive for me. Fuck, that’s so hot. So sensitive for me and only me,” he hisses while pulling your panties down.

The direct contact of his spit-covered finger just grazing your entrance sends you into overdrive. Even you yourself didn’t expect to be this hypersensitive to everything he does. You’re growing more vocal by the second and slap an arm in front of your mouth to muffle your sounds. However, he’s not having it and chastises, “Stop that. I want to hear your voice. Don’t hold back.”

You shiver at the authority in his tone and before your brain fully processed it, both of your hands are gripping the armrest as if it were your lifeline, the moans coming out of your mouth unfiltered. Hyunjin smirks. “That’s it, baby. Moan louder for me so that everyone in this building could hear you if the walls weren’t fucking soundproof.”

“Hyunjin, don’t tease me, please!” you shake violently, craving more than what he’s currently giving you. His little touches are too much yet not enough at the same time. Partly frustrated and partly needy, your sobs grow more uncontrolled and tears are already forming in your glassy eyes.

But no, Hyunjin is a cocky little shit who loves the sight of you struggling.

“Hm? But I like seeing you squirm like this. How long is it going to take until you start crying properly?”

“I knew it! I knew you’d be like this!” you cry accusingly, “I can’t, I can’t.”

“Why don’t you do anything against it, then? You’re holding back, it’s cute.”

“Because I— fuck, fu-u-uuck, s-stop it— wanna be good for you. I won’t misbehave, please master, allow me to cum—”

“What did you just call me?” Hyunjin is suddenly tense, stops with his ministrations and stares at you wide-eyed. You mirror his movements, just as perplexed by your words. You didn’t even mean it intentionally, it just slipped out. Sure, you knew that he had that superiority domination kink going on, but did he really enjoy being addressed as— “Say it again.”

You lick your lips and watch him closely. “Let me come, master.”

Hyunjin shudders visibly and the groan that escapes his mouth is raspy and deep and liquid sin. “Since you’re so good for me…” you yelp when he suddenly inserts two fingers into you, and fingers you in a rapid speed. It takes him roughly five thrusts until he finds your weak spot before he repeatedly pumps in and out in the same angle, emitting a sob from your side. “Is there anything else you imagined master doing to you?”

“Hands around… a-aa-ah shit— around my…” Hyunjin raises a brow when you reach out for his free hand and sloppily guide him to your throat. Stars fill your vision as he understands and wraps his fingers around your neck, the missing feeling of air making you light-headed. You weep out a silent cry when he moves his fingers even faster and applies slightly more pressure on your throat.

“Fuck, you look so good with my hand around your neck. What’s next? You want me to gag you with my fingers? Pull your hair when I’m fucking your mouth? Run my hands all over your body as you get yourself off on my thigh? You seem to be really fixated on my hands.”

Hyunjin’s words send you jolts of pleasure throughout your entire body. You don’t even register the intent behind what he says, too focused on all the other sensations. At this point you’re too far gone to keep holding onto any thread of rationality; the tears are gradually streaming down, your thighs are trembling and it hurts yet it doesn’t, and your orgasm hits you so hard you don’t even process it until your body starts to sting.

While you’re recovering from your high, Hyunjin picks up your cum on his fingers and licks it off thoughtfully, his eyes raking up and down your fingers. And then he asks in a manner way too casual for the situation, “How often can you cum, hm?”

You’re already fucked out by his fingers alone, and if he keeps it up, the answer is not a lot of times. Hell, you’re pretty sure your limit is two, but you answer tiredly with, “As many times as master wants me to.”

Hyunjin seems satisfied with the reply and then he gets up on his feet. Cluelessly, you send him mental question marks until he motions you to get up too. “What are you waiting for? Take my pants off.”

You don’t need to be told twice. You just notice now how constrained Hyunjin is underneath the jeans that hung on his hips. Wanting to free him out of his misery as fast as possible, you quickly unbuckle his belt and work on his zipper with the lightest amount of pressure you can muster. From there on, it doesn’t take long until you’ve pulled the fabric down alongside his boxers, revealing his hard length.

At the sight of his size, the precum pooling around his tip and the girth of his length, your mouth waters. “Can I suck you off?”

“I’d love that, but not today.” Hyunjin chuckles when your face drops and grabs your chin, his voice suddenly sultrier and a few intervals lower when he says, “Don’t look so disappointed. I know you’d do a great job. If I fucked your mouth without warning, you’d still take it, right? You wouldn’t deny an inch of my dick, would you? Even if you started to gag, you wouldn’t complain because you want to be good for master.”

He drops himself on the couch and the corners of his mouth crook upwards. “I just thought of something better. I bet you look so pretty bouncing on my cock.”

“Holy fuck,” you whisper. He’s right, that’s so much better than having his pulsing dick in your mouth. Fuck, you’ve been fantasizing about this for the past months after all. And just like that, he’s serving it all on a silver platter.

“C’mon, make me feel good,” he mumbles impatiently as he guides you onto his lap and pulls you in for a kiss. You melt into the kiss, let him abuse your lips up until they bleed if he fucking insists, before smearing precum all over his throbbing dick. Once he’s all slicked up, you raise yourself and sink on him, hissing uncontrollably once his head prods at your entrance.

Despite having him loosening you up a little before with his fingers, the stretch is so intense that you break the kiss and bury your face in the crook of his neck. You’re not the only one who’s affected this badly, as Hyunjin lets a particularly loud groan. “Fuck, you’re so tight. It’s like you were made for me. Be good for master and take me to the hilt, yeah?”

With that, he grips your hips so tightly that they form bruises, and slams you onto the rest of his dick. You stutter out a cry and more tears stream down your face. Hyunjin doesn’t give you time to adjust and lifts you up until only his head is still buried in you, only to push you down again immediately.

“God, you’re taking me in so well. Tell me, who’s making you feel this good?” he demands whilst continuing to manhandle you in this ruthless pace.

“You, master— a-aaa-ah, f-fuck— you’re making me feel this good, master!” you choke out, indulging the rough treatment. “You’re the only one who makes me feel so full!”

Hyunjin groans against you and begins to thrust his hips up into you like a madman. “You’re right, baby, only me huh—” he tugs on your hair with his one hand and kisses you in between your hiccups.

It’s hot, way too hot in here. The sound of skin slapping rings in your ears, as well as Hyunjin’s countless muffled praises. You’re both on edge, orgasm washing over you very soon. It’s prominent in the way Hyunjin’s movements grow more frantically, the way you cling onto him as if he were your saving grace, the way he rasps profanities in your ear.

“Cum for me, baby,” he pants, and it’s the one thrust that he delivers where he’s in you balls-deep and in the right angle that makes you come undone with a loud sob. Hyunjin helps you ride out your high before he pulls out of you completely and his release coats your stomach.

The next few moments are spent in silence, save for the harsh breathing. And then Hyunjin stands up to get a box of tissues next to the speakers and wipes off the cum on his abdomen before cleaning you up. You welcome his actions wholeheartedly, still basking in your post-orgasm bliss. Frankly, every inch of your body hurts and you’re damn sure you won’t be able to feel your legs until the end of the month.

“I’m pretty positive I won’t be able to walk tomorrow,” you say once he’s done cleaning you up as much as he can with simple tissues and is now retrieving all the clothes on the floor.

“It’s what you deserve after putting yourself through your weird sex-deprivation thing,” he jokes and falls on the couch beside you, handing you your clothes and offering his water bottle. “Want some?”

You silently take the bottle and take three generous gulps out of it. “Not today. You said not today when I wanted you to suck you off.”

“I mean, if you’re up for a next time, that is. If yes, then cool. If not, that’s also fine by me.” The way he replies is so casual as if he didn’t get hard from being called master. “Anyway, let me help you get back to your clothes.”

“No cuddles? You are the worst in aftercare.”

“I was thinking of cuddling once we both look a tad more presentable, but go off,” he snorts. Nonetheless, he’s extremely gentle and careful when he helps you slip into your button-up. No words are exchanged all the while except for his soft apologies when you wince in pain because fuck, even lifting your legs hurts.

Hyunjin keeps his word. After fixing your hair to the best extent, he wraps an arm around your waist and you rest your head on his chest, hearing his steady heartbeat.

“I can’t believe we just fucked in the practice room,” he chuckles weakly. “If this becomes a regular thing, please let’s not do it in the practice room ever again. I work here.”

Of course you want this to be a regular thing. Fucking hell. But you don’t say that just yet. Instead, you opt for: “Well, if this becomes a regular thing, the dorms seem like a pretty sweet—”

“Absolutely not.”

You laugh quietly, but deep down inside you know he really wants to do that but doesn’t want to admit it out loud because Hyunjin’s a kinky little shit. “Whatever you say.”

Still, it’s a lot to process, everything that just happened. It’s so much that it drains you more than it should. Your eyes are starting to feel heavy and you sense yourself falling into a slumber. However, you still catch Hyunjin’s half exasperated, half panicked “don’t you dare fall asleep on me now, at least stay awake until we’re in my car!”

You’re not entirely certain if this is just your mind playing games on you or actual reality, but you like to believe that shortly after his outburst, Hyunjin kisses you fondly on the forehead and softly mumbles, “Whatever. Sleep tight, baby.”

#lulu end a story properly challenge failed i'm bad at this im so sorry idek #stray kids smut #skz smut #hwang hyunjin smut #hyunjin smut #dom!hyunjin #sub!reader #smut.mine #hwang.txt #stray kids dark hours

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greenv · 5 years ago

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We're the same PT.ll | Peter Parker x Stark!Fem!Reader

Summary: You are used to having Peter in your world all the time, he was in the base with you more than at his own home, it was time for you to spend time in his world.

Warnings: None? A small sexual reference or joke? Idk...

Word count: 3,5 k

Notes: (Y/R/L/N) \ Your real last name.

A/N: I just want to thank you guys for all the love "We're the same" received! For real! Thank you! Here's part two, I hope you guys like it as well!

[Part 1]

_______________________

You and Peter were getting back from one of your night patrols, it was something that the two of you always did and it was part of your routine now, you loved fighting crime beside him, and he loved being able to fight by your side as well, the both of you made such a perfect team that even your dad, Tony Stark was proud.

"So… I was thinking" Peter takes off his mask giving you a look, you look at him waiting for him to keep talking "You know, how I always spend time on the avengers place? I was thinking that maybe you would like to… I don't know… Spend some time at my place? Maybe?" Peter smiles awkwardly, you remove your marks looking at him with a smile.

"You got all shy all of a sudden" You put your arms around his neck, giving him a little kiss on the lips.

"Not with you, I mean, no, I just… Do you think that it's time to introduce you to my friends?" Peter sighs.

"Wow…" You look at him with surprise "You have friends?!" Peter looks at you offended, you start laughing and he can't help but laugh as well with you "I'd love to meet them, if that's what you want Pete… I'll do it" Peter looks at your face trying to memorize your features, but to be honest, he already knows your entire face and body by memory, he just loves admiring your beauty.

"That will mean a lot to me, thank you" Peter closes his eyes giving you a sweet kiss.

"Well… in that case, just tell me when and I'll be there" You smile.

"How about tomorrow? You can go to my school and you can spend a day in my world" Peter suggested, you frown, that wasn't what you had in mind when he told you he wanted you to meet his friends.

"At your school?!" You ask, surprised.

"Yeah, is that… a bad idea?".

"Well, why not after school? We can go eat something or maybe… Why?" You put your hands on your hips, you can't help but laugh. "Don't you nerds go out?".

"Ouch…" Peter smiles "Well, remember I told you I'm going to the academy decathlon? I need to start staying after school to study and between classes as well from time to time, and besides… I could really use your company" Peter grabs your hands swinging both your bodies, you only shake your head.

"Alright fine, I'll go to school with you tomorrow, but I'm not taking the bus, I'll go swinging" You wink at him.

"Uh, no, you need to take the bus with me, so you can pass as one of the students" Peter winks back.

"Ugh! Is it really that necessary?!" Peter hugs you, hiding his face in the crack of your neck.

"For me… pleeeeeease?" Peter whispers against your skin.

"Okay… See you tomorrow then" You put on your mask getting ready to go back to the chaotic place you call home.

"Love you!" Peter screams, smiling and feeling the luckiest man alive, once he lost the sight of you, he climbs the wall and opens his window to get into his room, tomorrow was the big day, he'd been waiting for so long to introduce you to Ned and MJ, he was sure you were gonna love them.

[°°°]

"Wake up Parker!" You open his window, getting inside his room, Peter was getting changed after his usual morning shower, he looked back at you smiling.

"Good morning baby" He blows a kiss at you from afar, you sit on his bed taking a good look at his room, you've been there plenty of times, but today felt different, you felt a bit nervous and you didn't know why.

"When are we leaving?" You ask, impatiently.

"Well, you're a bit early baby girl, the bus will be here in thirty minutes" Peter puts on his shirt and sits beside you on his bed.

"You're not taking the suit?" You lift his shirt a bit, looking at his bare skin, Peter smiles and shakes his head.

"I want this to be a normal day for the both of us, just you, me, school, friends, a normal teenagers romance… No super heroes, no super powers, no fighting the bad guys, just for today" Peter grabs your hand.

"Pete… Baby… I am the daughter of Tony Stark, even before I got my powers, the words 'have a normal day weren’t part of my vocabulary" You fake a smile and Peter chuckles, biting his lip.

"Are you wearing your suit?".

"No, it's in my backpack, just in case you know…" Peter grabs your backpack, he opens it taking out the suit, throwing it into his closet. "Pete…" you look at your boyfriend with sadness "I'm already going to school with you let me take the suit, you never know!".

"Y/N, nothing will happen today, and I promise that after school we'll come back here and we'll go back to being Mr and Mrs Spider-Man" Peter jokes, you smile with sadness nodding, after all you promised him a normal day.

"Peter I seriously can't believe I'm the one who's asking to keep the suit and not the other way around".

"Honey we'll be okay!". "Fine… But if something does happen, I'm calling dad". "That won't be necessary". "We'll see". "We won't".

After a quick breakfast with Aunt May, you and Peter went down to the bus stop and waited for your ride to his school, you were used to Happy driving you to your private school where your dad had you at, you always wondered what it would be like to go on a bus like Peter did all the time, not wear a uniform, this could be a good day, maybe you can convince Tony to let you change school.

"So, we met at the Stark Internship… right?" You look at Peter trying to memorize the fake story on how you two met.

"Exactly, let's not mention that we both have super powers" Peter smiles.

"I thought your friend Ned knew?".

"Well, yeah, he's the only one, but the story is for the rest of them" Peter takes your hand.

"Okay… my last name is… (Y/R/L/N)?" You sigh "I'm ready!".

As the bus arrives, Peter manages to sneak you in without the bus driver noticing, but you didn't feel worried, it was an old man and he could barely see.

"There's Ned, my best friend" Peter points at a guy in the middle of the bus, you nod, just following Peter.

"Hey bro!" Ned smiles at Peter, you see them make a kind of secret handshake, you smile at the sight of such a cute act.

"Ned, this is Y/N… The Y/N" Peter says nervously, Ned looks at you and he opens his mouth with surprise.

"You're Peter's girlfriend?!" Ned asks.

"Yup… Nice to finally meet you, Peter talks a lot about you" You shake Ned's hand.

"He talks about me?! Ha! He talks about you a lot as well, you're like the main topic of our conversations" Ned chuckles, Peter hits Ned's arm giving him a warning.

"I'm flattered, I hope he only says good things" You look at Peter, taking a seat next to Ned.

"You're not sitting with me?" Peter chuckles.

"Nah, Ned's better company" You wink an eye at Peter, he takes a seat in front of the both of you.

"So… Are you really Tony Stark's daughter?" Ned asks.

"I don't know what you're talking about, we met at Stark industries… I have an internship as well" you smile.

"Baby, remember he knows" Peter chuckles.

"Oh… yeah, sorry" You smile shyly at Ned "So you know about Spidey?" You whisper at Ned.

"About Spidey one and two" Ned smiles and you smile at him.

"Well I'm glad I don't have to pretend in front of someone".

The bus makes another stop and a bunch of students get inside of the bus, you see Peter shake his hand in the air with a smile, you look over to see a pretty girl, messy hair and a 'kill me' kind of face, you knew that was MJ, Peter always says that she has a funeral face.

"Sup losers" MJ sits beside Peter. She looks at you and you give her a small smile.

"Hey" you say, MJ looks at Ned and then at you.

"Who is she?".

"She's my girlfriend" Peter spoke, MJ looks at Peter with an extremely surprised look, but her face goes back to her neutral expression right away.

"So, you're that Y/N?" MJ looks at you.

"Yes, you must be MJ" You offer her your hand to shake, but instead she gives an awkward high-five.

"Are you sure you're dating this ass? He's not paying you to fake a relationship?" MJ looks at you trying to study your expressions, you only chuckle shaking your head.

"Hey! I can get a girlfriend!" Peter says offended.

"Yeah boy… but not like her, she's waaaaay out of your league" MJ huff taking out her book, Peter looks at you and you give him a little wink.

Once the four of you arrived at school, no one was paying attention to you, which you liked, normally, at your other school you were treating with a bit of privilege just because of your last name, and here, it was all different, maybe because no one really knew your real last name, or maybe because you were with the nerds, but you liked it, being invisible for once.

"Let's go to class then" Peter grabs your hand.

"What class do we have first?" You smile.

"Wait… you're attending this school now!?" Ned exclaims.

"Yes, for today" You smile shyly.

"Cool… Are we going to say that she's an exchange student from another country or...?" Ned looks at Peter.

"No, she just transferred schools that's it" Peter smiles.

"I can make an accent" you look at both boys.

"I wanna hear" Ned smiles.

"Please no" Peter puts his hands over his ears, as you start speaking with a heavy (very bad) french accent, making Ned laugh, even MJ gave you a small chuckle.

"Can she please keep the accent?!" Ned looks at Peter.

"No! Please no!" Peter grabs your hand pulling you to class.

The teacher was already there so you had to go through the entire 'hi I'm blablablaba the new kid' kind of thing.

"Y/N, tell us a bit about you" the teacher looks at you. You felt everyone's eyes over you, you looked at Peter who was sitting in his place, saving a chair beside him for you.

"I'm dating Spider-Man" you said seriously, you could hear Peter choke in the back of the class, everyone was quiet, but then everyone started laughing and Peter felt his soul go back to his body.

"Yeah, I'm dating Spider-Man as well" another girl jokes.

"Okay Y/N go take a seat" the teacher smiles. You nod walking towards Peter, you look at the girl who made a joke as well, you lean close and whisper.

"You're not his type sweetie" You wink and eye to her and she rolls her eyes at you.

You sit beside Peter taking out a notebook and a pen out of your backpack.

"Hey sweetie… Don't sit with Parker, come sit with us" you look up from your notebook to see a boy wearing a Polo shirt, you knew, by fact that he was Flash, the annoying son of a… Who made Peter's life a living hell in school.

"No thanks, I'm good here" You fake a smile.

"Come on, I don't bite, unless you want me to" Flash winks at you and his friends start laughing.

"Just ignore him," Peter whispers, taking your hand.

"Permission to break his jaw" you whisper with anger.

"As much as I'd love to see that, permission not granted… It's okay, he's like that, you'll get used to him" Peter chuckles.

"Okay, but if he says something offensive to you, I won't hesitate".

"I love when you get all overprotective of me" Peter whispers in your ear leaving a small kiss on your cheek.

"Well, you know that someone has your back Parker" You bite your lip, trying not to kiss him so you both don't get detention.

As class goes by, you actually pay a lot of attention to it, making a bet with Peter on who could answer more questions than the other, the loser will go patrolling alone, but the both of you know that's an impossible thing.

You and Peter go to the next class, woodshop.

As you and Peter arrive, Ned is already there, working on something, Peter grabs your hand and you look at him with a smile.

"Remember when you first got your powers? I made your web shooters here" Peter smiles, you could see how proud he was of his work.

"I can remember that day as if it was yesterday… And I can also remember your face when you showed me the web shooters for the first time" You caress his cheek with love, Peter feels electricity in his body, he shakes a bit and smiles, you really had an effect on him.

The two of you made your way to Ned, you see him working on some type of mechanic arm, he seemed to be having a bit of a problem there, you look at Peter wondering if he's going to help his friend, but no, Peter only sits beside him, working on his own project.

"Need a hand Ned?" You smile, sitting in front of him. Ned and Peter look at you.

"Uh… I don't really want to bother, I can't seem to make this work, I don't know why" Ned shows you the mechanic hand, you grab it taking a good look.

Grabbing a bunch of tools on the table, you quickly manage to fix it and the mechanic like hand starts moving.

"Wow… where did you learn that?" Peter looks at you with a bright smile.

"Yeah, that took you like five seconds!" Ned grabs the hand admiring your work.

"Well, I'm Tony Stark's daughter, I know how to repair his suits as well" Your chest sticks out and you look at Peter feeling proud, you were glad that there was something Peter Parker didn't know about you.

"You keep surprising me babe" Peter smiles and winks at you.

"Not in front of me guys, please…" Ned rolls his eyes and goes back to working on his hand, you and Peter chuckle.

"So… You really are spending your day with the nerds huh?" Someone speaks behind you, you take your eyes off of Peter's project to look behind you.

Flash was there, he was holding his phone typing something, he looked at you smiling.

"I knew I've seen that pretty face before…" Flash has a cocky smile in his face, he then turns his phone to you "Tony Stark donates one million dollars to charity, and beside him, the women that inspire him to do good day by day… His wife, Pepper Potts, and his daughter, Y/N Stark…" Flash finishes reading the news, you really started to hate that guy.

Peter looks at Flash with anger, all he wanted to do was have a normal day with you in school, show you that you could be happy in a normal kind of way, but of course Flash was so obsessed with him that he had to ruin everything.

Peter stands up from his chair ready to fight Flash, but your words stop him.

"So…? Should I give you a golden star?" You ask Flash, with the same cocky smile now "Should I clap for you? Let me do it…" You start clapping in his face "You're so intelligent, you found out who I am!".

Peter looks at you and then at Flash, feeling proud as hell, Flash looked intimidated by you, and Peter was enjoying the show.

"I-" Flash opens his mouth but you interrupt him.

"So what's your point… Flash, right?" You cross your arms.

"Just tell us all the truth! You're not dating Penis Parker! You're here to donate money to school or something!" Flash smiles back at you.

The smile on your face is replaced with pure anger, your eyes darkening as you look at Flash, you could hear him swallow saliva.

"You did not just say that" Peter whispers with a smile, he goes back to his seat he was tired of letting Flash get away with all the shit he does, and of course he couldn't punch him cause it was obvious who would win, he was trying to be fair. But today, today it was different, and he was glad his queen was here.

Flash looks at Peter and then back at you, knowing that he made a huge mistake on calling Peter that in front of you.

"What's your point?" You speak with anger.

"Just tell us you're not dating Parker, he has nothing to offer! Instead go out with me! I have money, cars… I can take you wherever you want" You put your arm around Flash's shoulders squishing hard, he starts to feel pain but he holds it in, trying to look tough you made him face Peter, your boyfriend looking at the both of you delighted.

"You looking at that man right there?" You point at Peter "He gon' get it when we get home, he will keep me up all night… He is much more than you'll ever be!" You squish Flash's shoulders even more, but not enough to leave bruises the next day. "You say you have money? Cool, he has an immense heart, amazing jokes... you have a car? Cool… He has something better I prefer to ride" You wink at Peter and you see him blush, he was red at this point "Flash, you wish you could be like Peter Benjamin Parker, now, do me a favor and leave me and my boyfriend alone" you push Flash away from you, sitting back with Peter and Ned, you turn around one last time look at him "Leave your obsession with Peter behind, we all know you're not his type" You wink and eye to Flash.

Flash basically leaves running, when he does, Ned and Peter explode in laughter, you look at the both of them with a smile.

"Damn! That was amazing! About damn time someone said something to Flash" Ned cleans his fake tears.

"You didn't have to say anything to him Y/N" Peter smiles.

"You're right, we don't need to prove anything to that loser, but I got angry! He's an asshole and the thought of you having to deal with this dumbass all the time makes my blood boil!" You take a deep breath trying to calm down "Also, I wanted him to know how good you are at what you do" you wink and eye to Peter, your boyfriend opens his eyes wide and looks at Ned, who is pretending to mind his own business with his mechanic arm.

"Y/N… Don't speak like that" Peter whispers, he was a blushy mess, he looked adorable.

"Oh Peter, you should feel proud of yourself…" You stand up looking around "I'm bored, I'm gonna build something" You smile and you start walking around the classroom looking for pieces for a project.

Back at the table, Ned turns his head to look at you and then he looks at Peter.

"Man… I don't know what you did to get a girl like her, but you're one lucky moth-" Peter covers his mouth, blushing.

"Okay Ned, she's too hot for me I get it…" Peter looks at you smiling "When she's with me all boys hate me".

And he was right, and he just proved that with Flash trying to steal you from him, the way you talked to Flash, the way you defend Peter, it made him feel some kind of way, he wasn't used to having you do that, but he was proud of it.

[°°°]

The bell rings letting all the students know that the day is over, you stand up from your chair looking at Peter, waiting for instructions.

"Okay, let's go home" Peter smiles taking your hand.

"Home?" You look at him confused "don't you need to study with your decathlon team?".

"Yeah I do but…" He leans closer to you and whispers in your ear. "You said I was gonna get it when we get home so… Let's keep you up all night" He gives you a soft kiss on the lips.

"Peter Parker… I-" you try to make a joke but you just can't, he caught you off guard "Oh boy… Let's go! You have work to do!" You smile and clap happily making Peter laugh out loud, catching everyone's attention, but he didn't care.

He was planning on having a nice evening with you and his friends, but that could wait, you can see his friends any other day.

#marvel #peter parker x reader #peter parker #peter parker x stark!reader #stark reader #marvel oneshots #peter parker oneshot #flash #ned #peter x reader #spiderman x reader #spider man

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delvalentine · 3 years ago

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draft dump

once upon a time i had a plot bunny for a school genshin au in which the adults were teachers in a modern setting, and mc/reader was a TA working with them

i won't be revisiting that but it would be a waste to send the first draft to the void so here that is!

“And that brings our little guided tour to an end.” Mr. Zhongli turned around once reaching the front door, smiling languidly. “I hope it wasn’t too much to take in at once.” “No, I think I got everything.” You shoved the notepad deeper into your purse, taking a steadying breath. “Thanks for showing me around before orientation. It was really helpful.” “It was nothing. I do hope you’ll like it at our school, Ms. [Surname]. If there’s anything you’re unsure about, feel free to ask me—and if I’m not around, seeking out the vice principal should suffice.”

He caught your soured expression and chuckled deeply. The VP—Mr. Xiao—was not quite as amiable as the headmaster before you. You had tried to make a good impression by being polite, but the slender man had merely scowled through you like you’d insulted his mother’s mother or something. The memory of his scathing glare made your cheeks burn.

“He may be temperamental, but he’s unmatched at his work. Just try to catch him in a good mood and you’ll be fine.” You weren’t sure Xiao would know what a good mood looked like if it hit him in the face, but you brushed it off. The infrastructure here was breathtaking—as you’d expect from a boarding school so deeply steeped in history and so well-funded. Royal Celestia School, aptly named after the heavens, for there was no other institution so highly regarded in all of Teyvat. Graduates that called RCS their alma mater went on to forge great paths of success. Only the best of the best got to attend. Its newest hire: yourself, of course. You had applied for their TA position amongst many others, not really thinking you’d get it fresh out of post-secondary or anything. It didn’t hurt to try. But when you got the callback, you had to wonder if you had died and gone to heaven yourself.

“Now forgive my memory, but I seem to have forgotten who you told me you’ll be working with.”

Zhongli wasn’t just the principal—he was the founder of the whole shebang. He was as top brass as you could get, here, and he looked the part. Despite his age, he was incredibly sharp in his copper-black suit, and those warm honey-gold eyes weren’t helping with the whole tall-dark-and-handsome thing. Attractive looks aside, he was the overseer of all administrative operations, though rumour has it he was quite… spacey at his job. If anybody needed an assistant, it’d be him.

Xiao, the second in command, left a far less sweet taste in your mouth. You noticed the dragons tattooed on his arm in an impressive sleeve first, and the deeply beautiful look of calm second. It was as soon as he opened his mouth that he ruined it all. He was snappy and peevish. If Zhongli hadn’t been with you, he might very well have eaten you alive.

Speaking of grumpy men—Dr. Ragnvinder. You’d never had entirely good experiences with math teachers, and he was the living embodiment of all those hauntingly long questions you’d cried over on long nights. According to Zhongli, Diluc Ragnvinder was the one of the youngest in the teaching department to hold a PhD. During your meeting, he was nothing but cold and brief despite his fiery red hair and eyes. You loathed to think of how he’d crack down on you for not grasping a topic.

In stark contrast, Mr. Alberich was far more easy-going, if not a tad bit… seductive. He had a certain way of phrasing things with innuendo that kept you second guessing yourself, and if you weren’t careful, he’d easily take you off your feet. No wonder he specialized in the arts of literature. How you would’ve liked him to read excerpts to you in that suggestive tone of his.

Ms. Lisa had seemed to be cut of the same cloth, leaning in so close to you that you could smell the perfume wafting off the skin of her neck. The librarian oversaw one of the outlandishly largest collections of books you had ever seen in your life. (It wasn’t the only big set you’d noticed.) She invited you back with a smile, though it seemed less an invitation and more a given task to see her again.

Zhongli had then taken you to the theatre, equally as massive and ornate. You could imagine full opera shows occurring rather than silly school plays. Private school kids were a different breed entirely. Inside, a pair of men were practicing something together. There, you met Venti, who insisted you call him by first name alone. Beside him was the taller, leaner man named Childe, who assured you it wasn’t his real name, but that was a secret of the trade. Venti had a voice of an angel and played a lyre so daintily you were almost moved to tears. It was no surprise he taught music. And Childe, whose mere presence made you feel like he was putting on some sort of show, oversaw drama.

Next door was the gymnasium, which, once again, wowed you with its size. Perhaps Zhongli was hoping to train generations of Olympic athletes-slash-artists-slash-geniuses? A hearty dark-haired woman took you in with great familiarity, shaking your hand and inviting you to drinks before you’d even managed to introduce yourself properly. With the force Beidou had exerted in a mere handshake, you were afraid to think about being under her training regime in physical education.

A far more sobering presence, Ms. Ningguang looked to have the same stable ethereality as Zhongli did. As an educator of finance, you’d heard that she had single-handledly changed the entire stock market just to prove a point in her lecture. You had made a note to ask her about your taxes.

Keqing next door taught geography. Her classroom had been lined with maps and globes, each marked with such numerous and precise points that you felt like you couldn’t even recognize what each place was. She spoke to you with succinctness, like everything she said was pre-determined and you had better understand what she meant <i>or else</i>. But she was fairly warm in comparison to the men of earlier, and you’d take what you could get.

A room with even more clutter was Dr. Mona’s. Contraptions like Newton’s cradles, plasma domes, lava lamps, and even a wall-to-wall Ruth Goldberg machine made your head spin. Her eccentricity was clue enough to her role as a science teacher. Somehow in your short conversation, she managed to boast about herself a total of six separate times, but Zhongli quietly assured you that her claims weren’t unfounded. She was confident and intelligent, her blue eyes sparkling with knowledge. Spending a day with her sounded exhausting but thrilling.

The last classroom Zhongli showed you to was Jean’s, who was a startling calm presence right after exiting Mona’s Wonderland. She was a history teacher, well versed in lore and social sciences, and you couldn’t help but feel warm and fuzzy just talking to her.

“Well?” Zhongli nudged as you thought back on your day. “Which professor were you to help out with?” You answered…

#draft dump

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sanderssidesfanfiction · 4 years ago

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If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Four

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

September 3rd, 1989

“Hi! What’s your name?” Emile asked the shy boy who was standing by the slide on the playground.

“...Casey,” the boy mumbled.

“I’m Emile! Do you want to play a game with me?” Emile asked. “We could be friends!”

“I’ve never had a friend before,” Casey said softly. “How does being friends work?”

“You can figure it out as you go!” Emile exclaimed. “All my friends just like playing with me and sometimes reading with me! Maybe you want to do something different, but those are the big things that most of my friends do! We could play tag, if you want?”

“Sure, I like tag,” Casey said, smiling.

“I’ll be ‘it’ first! You have a ten second head start, better make the most of it!” Emile exclaimed.

Casey grinned and ran off, leaving Emile to count, before taking off after his new friend.

September 15th, 2000

Emile smiled at the man who he was sitting next to in the local coffee shop, who he was quickly becoming fast friends with. Remy was pouring over his business textbook with a sigh. “I mean, I know ninety percent of the stuff in this book! I don’t understand why I’m going to college!” Remy complained.

Shrugging, Emile said, “There has to be some reason, right? Something that you really want to learn?”

“Not really,” Remy sighed. “I don’t know why I’m wasting money when I’m not even gonna learn anything.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t go to college,” Emile said with a shrug.

Remy sat back in his chair and hummed. “You know, you may have a point…” He shook his head and sighed. “But what would my parents think?”

Emile leaned back in his chair and scratched his head. “Who cares what they think? You’re going to school on your dime, not theirs. If you don’t want to go into debt and you don’t think you’re going to learn anything, why stick around?”

“To be out of my parents’ house?” Remy asked with an incredulous laugh. “I mean, it’s not like they’d let me go back to live with them without having a job.”

“You have a job,” Emile said, gesturing to the coffee shop they were in.

“A real job, Emile,” Remy scoffed. “If rent is too expensive, they definitely won’t help, unless I’m making, like, six figures a year and I still can’t afford housing near wherever I work.”

“That’s terrible!” Emile said. “They’d make you homeless just because you’re working your tail off as a barista and not...whatever else they want you to be?”

“They were upset enough I went into business, and not accounting,” Remy said with a laugh. “But I would kill myself left to my own devices as an accountant, and I figured they’d rather have a semi-miserable kid over a dead kid. Though, I don’t know...they already have their golden boy, and that’s my brother Toby.”

Emile stared at Remy in complete shock. He was talking like this was just life, like he was discussing the weather, and not shaking Emile’s entire perception of his new friend to his very core. Suddenly, a lot of the things he said were making an ugly picture. An incomplete picture, but an ugly one nonetheless.

“Enough about me, though, what about you?” Remy asked.

“What about me?” Emile repeated dumbly.

Remy jabbed at Emile’s textbooks with a laugh. “Learning anything new from your textbooks? Psychology, all that good stuff?”

“Oh, uh, yeah...” Emile said. “Learning a bit. I don’t want to bore you with the specifics, though.”

Remy waved a hand. “Eh, psychology is somewhat interesting to me. What parts are you specifically going over?”

“Uh, currently, childhood development,” Emile said.

“Ah. Yeah. Not a huge fan of that one,” Remy replied. “So maybe spare me the details on that chapter.”

“Sure,” Emile said, nodding. He knew enough about Remy to avoid talking about this latest revelation just yet. But that left Emile with another problem. Namely, what to talk about. “Uh, that means I don’t really know what to talk about, though.”

Remy rested his arms on his books and his head on his arms. “Uh...you could talk about...pretty much whatever, really, I’m not picky.”

“Just so long as it’s a topic that adults could reasonably talk about without strange looks, right?” Emile asked.

“Hm?”

“I mean, would you really want me to ramble on about cartoons?” Emile asked. “You certainly didn’t seem to enjoy my room all that much, what with all the cartoon stuff everywhere.”

“Oh,” Remy said, grimacing. “I mean...do you want to talk about cartoons?”

“Not if the other person won’t enjoy them,” Emile said.

“It’s not that I don’t enjoy cartoons...” Remy scratched his neck before hanging his head. “Okay, yeah, it’s that I don’t enjoy cartoons. But I’m in no position to complain because I have a minor obsession with comic books. So you can talk about cartoons if you want to, so long as I can talk about comic books.”

“You have yourself a deal,” Emile said. “Still, cartoons is a pretty broad topic. It’s hard to narrow down what to talk about without something else to build off of.”

“The same is true with comics,” Remy pointed out. “Have you ever tried to piece together a comic timeline? It’s a horror show.”

“I’ve never gotten into comics for that exact reason. I have no idea where I would start!” Emile exclaimed. “There’s so many superheroes, and so many variations of the same ones, and so many timelines and stories within those variations! It’s...it’s completely jumbled! It makes no sense to me!”

“Yeah, well, comics definitely aren’t for everyone,” Remy said with a little smile.

“Same with cartoons,” Emile said. “Everyone has different tastes.”

“Yeah,” Remy said.

“The problem is when you start bashing people or their interests just because you’re not into them,” Emile said. “Like...you know, saying something is stupid or childish, or just not worth your time.”

Remy frowned briefly, before recognition crossed his face. “Oh. Oh. You’re referring to me.”

“Just a little bit. You’re not the first to say that cartoons are for children, and you won’t be the last. But you might have been the meanest to date,” Emile said.

Remy rolled his eyes. “I was trying to be kind. If that’s the meanest thing you’ve ever heard about your interests, you must be the most sheltered kid ever.”

“If that’s the nicest thing you could manage, then maybe you shouldn’t say anything about cartoons,” Emile said. “Because that was really mean. That hurt me. I don’t like the way you said it, and I don’t like how you’re brushing it off now.”

Remy huffed and crossed his arms, saying, “Well, someone clearly can’t take a joke.”

“That wasn’t a joke!” Emile exclaimed. “And if you were trying to make it one then it definitely fell flat! Why can’t you acknowledge that it hurt me?”

“I’m just trying to prepare you for reality,” Remy scoffed. “If you can’t understand that then you’re clearly not ready for it yet.”

“Reality isn’t just people being mean to each other all the time!” Emile exclaimed, very nearly reaching the end of his rope. He started packing up his books. “You know what? Maybe you were right. Being friends is not a good idea. Clearly, you aren’t ready to own up to your mistakes and I have friends who respect me and my interests elsewhere.”

Remy blinked at Emile in shock.

Emile just felt that much more irritated that Remy didn’t even say anything. “Good luck with college,” he growled. “Maybe one day you’ll learn what friends really are. I hope that you manage to find some people who make you happy.”

And with that, he stormed out of the coffee shop. The door opened after him and Remy called, “Emile?”

Emile didn’t even slow his stride. Rushed footsteps came after him and a desperate hand grabbed for his wrist. Emile wrenched it free and levelled Remy with a glare. “Am I a joke to you?” he asked.

“What? No!” Remy exclaimed.

“I get that you might not like that I’m an optimist, but you don’t have to tear me down every chance you get! I’m trying to be your friend, I’m trying to be nice to you, but you make it near impossible every time you open your mouth!” Emile’s vision blurred with tears. “I want to help you feel less lonely. Because whether you admit it or not, I know you need some form of company. Everybody does! I want to get to know you! You seem like a really interesting guy! But if you keep on insulting me and my interests, then I can’t be friends with you. I can’t even hang around you. Because I need to make sure that my mental health and my happiness comes first. I have to be my first priority. And if you’re going to hurt me, then you can’t be a part of my life.”

“I...” Remy had a myriad of emotions flitting across his face. “I’m sorry. I...I never really had friends. Before. I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around them. I don’t want to hurt you, honestly. I just...don’t know where the lines I shouldn’t cross are.”

“You want to toughen me up,” Emile said. “By definition, that’s going to hurt me and wear me down more and more until I can’t take life the way it is any longer. And I rather like my life the way it is.”

Remy looked lost. “I want to help you,” he said. “Don’t you see? I’m trying to help!”

Emile shook his head. “I don’t think I’m the one who needs help in this situation, Remy.”

Remy frowned. “What, you think I need to see a shrink?”

“I think that if you’ve never had friends before, you shouldn’t decide that you know everything about friendship and that you can make decisions for the people who you’re trying to become friends with,” Emile said. “And whether or not the help you get surrounding friends is professional, you need to learn about what friendship really is.”

Remy let his hand drop. “But...but...how do I get friends, so I can learn?”

“Well, maybe if you stopped acting like an arrogant know-it-all people might approach you more,” Emile hissed.

Remy reeled back like he had been slapped. “Is that...is that how you see me?”

Emile blinked rapidly as his tears fell. “I know it’s how most of my friends see you! They’ve asked me more than once why I hang around you! And I always told them it’s because I thought I saw some kindness inside you. But clearly,” his voice cracked. “Clearly I was wrong.”

Remy opened his mouth, but no words came out.

Emile turned and continued to walk back to the campus. It was about half a mile, it couldn’t take that long to retreat to his room and cry for a little. He heard Remy retreat back to the coffee shop, and he hoped that Remy would stay there to lick his wounds, or at least leave Emile alone. He needed time to regroup, to decide what he was going to do about Remy. He wasn’t sure he could still be friends with the man, as much as he wanted to be. Remy would need people around him sooner or later, and Emile wanted to help. He always wanted to help, but he had to learn to detach himself from situations, so that he didn’t burn out being emotionally invested with everyone he met. Therapist or not, that was a skill he needed to learn.

He heard running behind him, and Emile rolled his eyes, moving to the right side of the sidewalk, staring resolutely at the buildings on the opposite side of the street, and not acknowledging the slowing footsteps as the person fell into Emile’s rhythm of walking.

“Sooner or later you’re going to have to acknowledge me, Emile,” Remy warned.

Emile just kept staring across the street.

Remy’s hand brushed against Emile’s, before Remy apparently thought better of it, and his hand retreated. “Emile, please, just look at me.”

Emile glanced over to find Remy hiding his eyes behind his blonde bangs. “I...I wanted to hurt you, yeah, to toughen you up. But that’s no excuse. And...for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I’m realizing that was wrong. I just...” he sniffled, and lifted his head, and Emile was surprised to see tears in Remy’s eyes. “I want to be your friend. And I’m terrified, because the last time I was friends with someone who wasn’t my brother, they absolutely crushed me. I...I don’t want that to happen again. My brain keeps screaming that’s what’s gonna happen if I get close to you...” He shook his head. “But you know what? I think that it’s worth the risk. I...I want to be your friend, Emile. I’m so sorry. Please, please just consider my apology when you decide whether or not we can be friends? Because I’m truly sorry.”

Emile’s resolve wavered and he nodded, offering Remy a small smile. “Okay,” he said. “We can give being friends another shot. But you’d better believe that I’m roping you into doing DnD and watching cartoons and a bunch of other ‘dorky’ stuff.”

Remy cringed, but nodded. “Thank you,” he breathed.

Emile nodded back, and they walked back to campus together.

#if there's a place i could be #sanders sides fanfiction #remile #emile picani #ts sleep

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ajokeformur-ray · 5 years ago

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Quarentene with Ledger Joker, please

This is a request but I’m personalising it for @jokershyena because I love her and I want to give back some of what she does for me. So: female pronouns, some sensuality, the name ‘Lilith’ and other personal details used with permission.

Word count: 1, 615.

Ledger!!Joker @nothing-but-a-comedy @justahyena @anyatheladyclown @mijachula @joker-daddy @rinbyo @imightaswellnotexistatall @vladtoly @joker-is-my-hero @liz-rdwitch @enigmaticandunstable @ledgerskitten @tsukiakarinobara @germansarechill @ezziesworld

With the fatality and infection rates of a new virus sky high and the number of confirmed cases within Gotham growing even higher by the day were you on the edge of a panic attack just from watching the news for only five minutes. You dreaded to think of the actual statistics, for only confirmed cases could be recorded within the news.

There were over a thousand cases in central Gotham alone and for that reason had the entire city been placed under quarantine for an indeterminable amount of time. You and J lived together (or rather, the apartment was leased under your name and J came and went as and when he felt like it) which meant that, for the duration of the lock-down were you forced to be together.

You and J.

Alone in your apartment.

For who knew how long.

I found the silver lining to all of this was your thought as you clicked the television off, leaning back against the sofa so that you could stare up at the ceiling. Absentmindedly did you begin to count the cracks, squinting in concentration. You shook your head every time you lost count and began again, always from the same corner. You always lost count at the same crack, too, and the definition of insanity crept into your mind.

It, too, found itself discarded with a firm shake of your head.

“You look as,” J plopped himself down on the sofa beside you, chucking his legs up on the coffee table, crossing his arms over his chest, “Bor-ed as I feel.”

You hummed and leaned sideways, crashing dramatically into J’s chest. “Hold me. Protect me from the virus.” Your words were dramatic, but an edge of fear crept into your voice and J picked up on it immediately. He huffed laughter against the crown of your head as he accepted your less than subtle question for a hug, his arms loosely encircling you. Dissatisfied were you, for you clambered into his lap and seated yourself upon his muscular thighs, your arms looping around his neck as you nuzzled into the warm crook of his neck. Oh, but he was a heater.

“The virus ain’t gonna get’cha, doll,” Joker squeezed his arms around you in comfort as he said, “Not so long as ya’ wash ya’ hands and keep away from peo-ple.” J cackled, his breath hot against the top of your head, the small hairs moving with his exhalations and making you shiver.

You smirked against the skin of his neck, pursing your lips to press a chaste kiss there. “Does that mean I gotta stay away from you?” You made as if to move and J didn’t like that one bit.

“No,” J growled, pulling you even closer to him so that your knees were brought up toward your chest, your kneecaps resting against the back of the sofa, “I am not people.” He spoke the word with real venom, as if he was insulted by the idea that he was a mere person; a plain nobody who could be found on any corner of Gotham’s filthy streets.

“True,” You grinned, raising your head from his neck to press a kiss to the very corner of his mouth, your lips so light and gentle out of fear of irritating his scar that J barely felt it. He groaned in irritation and tilted his mouth towards yours, desperately for more than a ghostly kiss, and you giggled as you gave him what he wanted. He pouted, for you had still only pecked his full lips with your own.

“Jeez, what’s a guy gotta do to get kissed ‘round here, huh?” J grumbled, the corner you had kissed seconds ago was now quirking upwards in amusement.

“You’re such a drama queen!” His jaw dropped just slightly in indignation but you sobered him up with your next words, the words you had been intending on speaking all along. Only he could so thoroughly distract you, even when he was the topic at hand. “You’re not a person, no - you’re more than that.”

A quizzical look as J wondered if finally you had cracked. He still had yet to figure out if he was a good or a bad influence on you. You were becoming more like him every day and again did he puzzle over whether it was a good or a bad thing. Still, who cared? He didn’t.

You trailed a hand across the back of his neck, your cool fingers raised goosebumps upon the hot flesh and J shivered as you trailed your hand around to his clavicle, down, down his chest, to rest over his heart. You pressed your hand down hard and met his intense chocolate eyes with your own as you said, “You’re a human, J, just like me.”

J’s eyes slammed shut and he squeezed them tightly. His sinful tongue, which made dampness begin to pool and collect in your undies already, darted out to lick the corner of his full lips, and his jaw muscles clenched. You had struck a nerve within your chaotic clown, a place which he always denied being there but in moments like this was it more than obvious.

J was just a man, but he wasn’t like any other. He was wild and untamed, unpredictable at the best of times, raw and passionate, chaotic and loud and so dangerous that people were right to be scared of him, if only because he was something new and undefined; people had always and would always fear that which they did not know or understand, though the citizens of Gotham didn’t want to understand J in all of his multi-faceted complexities. His anger and lack of sanity (though you thought him to be the most sane of all) was only the facade for the decades of hurt and pain; from his time in the military, to the true origin story of how he acquired those macabre scars, to the loss of his wife upon coming home, to dealing with PTSD while re-adjusting to civilian life and who knew what else alone… He had always been alone through all of it and the result was the man upon which you were sat.

When J opened his eyes some time later, which was marked only by the rising and falling of your chests; as you inhaled did he exhale, his eyes were ablaze with fire. His hand crept up to grip the one which rested over his chest, and he slid his fingers into the spaces between your own.

“My hyena. Mine.” J’s arms tightened around you as he pulled you in to a tight one armed embrace, burying his nose into your neck as he sunk into you while you cackled like a hyena; you had always been quite good at impersonating them and it was one of the things J loved about you. As you inhaled deeply to begin another cackling refrain did J lift his head from your neck, his hand joined with your dropping from his chest so that they came to rest between your bodies; laughing along with you. Your shared laughter - loud, chaotic and my, how you both thrived in these conditions - rang loudly off the walls of your high maintenance, expensive apartment and created a melody worthy of only its creators.

“Yes, J - I’m yours. I’m all yours. And you’re mine. I love you. I love you so much.” You were breathless from laughing, from love, from life as all thoughts of debts and bills and viruses slipped out of your mind, chased away by the overwhelming love which you felt for your Joker, your clown.

“I’m yours, Lilith,” Only yours, always and forever. “The hyena and her clown.” J’s dramatic flair displayed itself once more in the way his intense chocolate gaze penetrated yours, his smirk growing steadily by the second. Oh, how he loved you in his all own ways.They were small and obscure and you had had to learn to look for them, but there they were, waiting to be found and savoured as only a girl like you could.

Hers.

The word sent a warm fuzzy feeling to the base of your spine and you shifted forward on J’s lap. He growled. “Don’t start something ya’ can’t finish, dollface.”

“Who says I can’t finish? Ladies first.” You smirked and leaned in to kiss J, his lips hot and heavy against your own, his tongue demanding and his hands were splayed open wide, exploring fingers touching as much of you as he could in the same moment, so hungry and longing for you was he. He was a clingy man, was J, when he was comfortable. He only ever felt so free, so liberated with you.

“Mm,” J purred against your lips as his hips bucked, sending his erection straight into your core. You were so wet that he could feel you even through your jeans and it only made him more thirsty for you. “Let’s - ah - put that to the test.”

Yes, there was a killer virus outside of these four walls which you were forbidden from leaving until further notice. Yes, you had a hell of a job on your hands keeping J inside the apartment until that notice had been given and yes, you were scared and stressed and tired, but you had something that no one else in Gotham had.

Being together felt so simple, so right, almost as if… Almost as if you were meant to be. In short, you had your Joker, and he had you, and together was there no storm that you couldn’t weather.

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sheliesshattered · 4 years ago

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This Isn’t A Ghost Story - Chapter 4

Whouffaldi non-canon AU. 8 chapters, will be about 32,000 words when complete. Rated Mature for heavier themes, including in this chapter, please contact me privately if you’re worried about triggering topics. Clara Oswald/Twelfth Doctor. Mystery, pining and angst with a happy ending. Available on AO3 under the same username and title. Updates every Friday.

This Isn’t A Ghost Story

Chapter 4: The Past

By the time she arrived at the house, Clara’s hands were shaking so badly, it took her three tries to unlock the front door. Her tears hadn’t stopped the entire drive over, and in the two a.m. darkness her sniffling sounded loud in her own ears.

Finally managing to fit the key into the lock, she let herself into the foyer and closed the door behind her. She dropped her keys and purse on the table, but couldn’t make her fingers uncurl from the crumpled coroner’s report still clutched in her other hand. The house was silent, dimly lit by a lamp in the parlour and another at the top of the stairs, and for a moment she was seized by a sense of déjà vu so strong it was nearly vertigo. It had only been a few hours since she’d gone home for the evening, but it felt like she’d been away for far longer than that. She needed her ghost, she needed to talk to him after all that she’d read, she needed—

“Clara?” came his voice before she could call out to him, and she felt her breath leave her in a rush. She had never been so grateful to hear his familiar voice, and she looked up at him, finding him standing at the top of the stairs. “What are you doing here?” he went on, sounding concerned, as he descended the staircase towards her. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“I— I had to see you,” she said, her voice shaking almost as badly as her hands, and she swiped roughly at the wetness on her cheeks. “I couldn’t wait ‘til the morning.”

His steps quickened, and he didn’t stop until he was barely an arm’s length from her, seeming reassuringly solid and real in the dim light. “What’s wrong?” he asked, searching her face. “What’s happened?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” she told him, stumbling over her words as her tears continued to fall, “and the box was— I had to know. I read her journal, I couldn’t stop myself. You were trying to protect me, and I just—” She cut herself off, shaking her head, trying to sort through her jumbled thoughts. “The twenty-third of November,” she forced out, looking up at him.

His expression shuttered. “What about it?” he asked warily.

“I was born on the twenty-third of November, 1986.”

“Clara, I am aware of your birthdate,” he said evenly.

She held up the crumpled paper in her hand. “Twenty-third of November, 1928. That’s the day she, the day my great-grandmother—”

“Yes,” he interrupted her.

“I was born fifty-eight years to the day—”

“Yes,” he said again, even more forcefully. “And? What is it exactly that you’re asking?”

She stared at him, grasping for the words as tears slipped down her cheeks. “Why?” she finally said. “Why would she do that to herself? Why would she leave her three month old child like that?”

He studied her face for a long moment. “I think you know why, my Clara,” he said softly.

“I don’t,” she shook her head, tears thick in her voice. “I’m trying to understand. I tried the entire drive over here, but I don’t— Why?”

He looked away, chewed at his lip. “You asked me once, when you were about eight years old, when it was that I died. Do you remember that?”

Clara nodded. “1927. You wouldn’t tell me the date, but you said it was in 1927.”

“I couldn’t very well tell you,” he said slowly, “at eight years old, that I died on your birthday in 1927.”

Realisation dawned. “She killed herself on the anniversary of your death.”

“Yes,” he said quietly, barely a breath.

“But... why?”

He looked at her in confusion, eyes glinting a silvery blue in the lamplight. “Why?”

“You said— you said you talked to her, after you died. Like we talk now. And in her journal she said— She hadn’t really lost you, so why would she—”

“I had stopped talking to her, stopped appearing to her,” he cut her off, voice soft. “Shortly before Margot was born. I wanted her to move on, even if I couldn’t. To live her life in the land of the living. I thought I was... a distraction from that. I worried if anyone found out that she was talking to her dead husband, that it would cost her everything, that she would end up in some sort of institution. Instead, I—” He stopped, swallowed harshly. “I was the one who cost her everything. By deciding I knew what was best. By ignoring her. By not protecting her like I should have done.”

She stared at him, tears still tracking down her face. “This is what you didn’t want me to know.”

“Clara...” He closed his eyes briefly, expression pained.

“You thought I wouldn’t be able to forgive you for it. That it would change the way I see you.”

He hesitated. “I didn’t want you to know about this, no.”

“...But?” she prompted, feeling like there was more he wasn’t saying.

His gaze found hers again. “What am I supposed to do, Clara? Which mistake should I repeat? Not protecting you? Or deciding that I know best?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, shaking his head. “You found out this much, you won’t stop digging until you’ve found every horrible thing there is to find. And I don’t know what that will do to you. I can’t protect you from yourself. I’m not sure I ever could. All I can do is be here to try to pick up the pieces.”

She studied his ageless face, so very dear to her. “Then promise me one thing,” she found herself saying.

He huffed out a humourless laugh. “Just the one thing?”

“Promise me you won’t ever ignore me like that.” She had to swallow down the inexplicable again that tried to append itself to the end of that sentence. “Promise me that you will never stop talking to me.”

“Clara—”

“If you love me—” The words caught in her throat and she stopped. It was an unspoken line never before crossed, a word never before spoken between them, and she quickly added, “—in any way, you’ll stay.”

One corner of his mouth curled up in a sad smile. “So long as it’s my power to stay, I don’t think I will ever be able to leave you, my Clara.”

“Good,” she said, her tears making her voice crack. “I refuse to lose you. I won’t allow it.”

“Five-foot-one and crying,” he said fondly. “I never stood a chance.” He reached up and brushed away a tear as it rolled down her cheek, his long fingers steady and just slightly cool against her skin.

Clara stared at him in shock, trying to fit this newest revelation into her over-full mind. “You’re... rather solid,” she said, more eloquent words failing her.

“Always am, this time of the night,” he replied, eyebrows drawing together. “It’s the lack of sunlight. I thought you knew that.”

“I’m never here this late,” she reminded him, shaking her head. Seized with a sudden realisation and an urge she couldn’t deny, she took a step forward and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

Her ghost went rigid beneath her touch, only slowly relaxing. “Clara,” he breathed against her hair, seeming to remember what to do with his arms. He held her carefully, like he thought she might shatter, but the substantial realness of him was better than anything she could have hoped for. “My Clara.”

“You cannot imagine how long I’ve wanted to do this,” she said into his shoulder.

“I have some idea,” he replied, drawing her closer.

Clara clung to him, unwilling to let the moment end. She had thought about hugging her ghost so often over the years, but the reality of being held by him far outpaced even her best dreams. It was exactly the sort of comfort she needed after all the discoveries of the day, and gradually her tears stopped.

“I don’t think you should drive home tonight,” he said quietly, gently pulling away from her. “You’re upset, and it’s late. Sleep here, go home in the morning.”

She stepped back and nodded, but said, “I don’t know if I can sleep. It’s all still clattering around my mind, everything I read.”

He carefully prised the paper from her hand, smoothed it out and read it. “Coroner’s report,” he said grimly. “As though the journal wasn’t bad enough.”

She hesitated, then asked, “You’ve read the journal?”

“Only the final entry. But I was there for most of the rest of it. Come on,” he said, clearly changing the subject, as he folded the paper and tucked it away in his trouser pocket. “There’s still some chamomile tea in one of the decorative tins in the kitchen. Maybe a cup will help you sleep.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re just trying to distract me?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Because I am,” he said dryly, then turned and led the way down the hall. Sighing, Clara followed after him.

She sat at the table and watched him move around the kitchen, confidently pulling items from drawers and cupboards as he prepared the loose-leaf tea. It was still strange to think of this as his house, as the house he had bought with his wife, where they had hoped to build a future together. And tragic, too, given the way things had turned out. Based on the dates in her great-grandmother’s journal, they had lived here for just over two years before his death, between the summer of 1925 and the autumn of 1927.

“Were you happy?” Clara asked into the comfortable silence.

Her ghost glanced over at her from his position near the stove, eyebrows raised in question.

“When you lived here with my great-grandmother,” she clarified. “Were you happy, together in this house?”

He brought her the cup of steaming tea and sat down across from her before he answered. “We were very happy,” he said softly, staring at his hands folded on the tabletop. “And very much in love.”

Clara’s heart clenched in her chest, and she didn’t reply until she was certain of the strength of her voice. “I’m sorry it didn’t end well,” she said, feeling like the words were horribly inadequate. “That you didn’t get more time together. You deserve to be happy.”

He looked up at her across the width of the table, his familiar face ageless and ancient. “Things end,” he said gently. “That’s all. Everything ends, and it’s always sad. But everything begins again too, and that’s always happy.”

“And have you been happy?” she asked before she could stop herself. “In the years I’ve known you?”

His gaze searched her face for a long moment before he said, “Very happy, my Clara. As much as a dead man can be. Now, drink your tea. It’s a few hours yet before dawn, and you should try to sleep.”

She decided not to argue with him, starting to feel fatigue pull at her now that the adrenaline of her discovery had passed. “You told me as a child that I shouldn’t stay the night here,” she said between sips of warm chamomile tea. “Why?”

He looked away and was quiet for so long that she began to wonder if he would answer at all. “You never slept well here, when you were small,” he finally said. “You would wake up crying, even screaming sometimes. Ellie seemed to think it was just being away from home, but I always worried it was this house specifically, something about it that you knew even before you were old enough to talk.”

“Well, it certainly wasn’t you.”

“What?” he asked, meeting her gaze, eyebrows drawing together.

Clara shrugged though a sip of tea. “Gran’s house is haunted. That’s the sort of thing that might scare some kids. Most, probably. But you’ve never scared me.”

“Well, that’s a relief.”

“I mean it,” she said, smiling at him over the rim of her cup. “If ghosts are meant to be scary, you’ve failed utterly.”

“Glad to hear it,” he said dryly, then after a moment added more seriously, “I’ll stay with you tonight, if you want. So you’ll know you’re safe. Hopefully I’m wrong, and you’ll sleep fine, but just in case.”

That longing for what could have been that she’d felt when looking at the wedding photo bubbled up again, but she shoved it away. He was her ghost, and she was his Clara, and that would have to be enough. “I would like that,” she said softly, her eyes on her tea. “Thank you.”

She led the way upstairs a few minutes later, choosing the back bedroom where he’d played her great-grandmother’s song for her earlier, and snuggled in beneath the quilts and blankets that she had laid out on the bed in a bid to make the house look inviting to potential buyers. Her ghost lingered uncertainly nearby until she patted the space beside her, but she drifted off to sleep before he’d finished making himself comfortable on top of the coverlet.

Clara woke suddenly, bolting upright and gasping for breath, all of her senses on high alert in the darkened bedroom. On instinct she reached for the Doctor beside her, her fingers curling desperately around his shoulder.

“Clara?” he asked, sounding confused.

“There’s someone downstairs,” she hissed, keeping her voice low, fear gripping her.

With a sigh, he put his hand over hers and squeezed it gently. “There’s not.”

“I heard a window break!” she insisted. “Someone’s in the house—”

“Clara, Clara, listen to me,” he said, sitting up beside her and taking her hands in his. “You had a nightmare,” he went on, leaning in close and trying to catch her gaze. “Just a nightmare, yeah? Everything’s alright. Trust me, there is no one in this house but you and me.”

She blinked at him, trying to make his words fit into her consciousness in between the frantic beating of her heart. “No,” she said, shaking her head, “I’m certain I heard—”

“It’s just your mind playing tricks on you. Nothing but a bad dream,” he assured her. “It’s over now, try not to think about it.”

There it was again, a noise like a rock shattering glass, coming from downstairs. “The window,” she whispered urgently, turning towards the bedroom door.

He shifted closer to her, cupping her face in both hands, commanding her attention. “It’s not real,” he said, gently but firmly. “What you’re hearing, it’s not real, it’s not happening now. Focus on now, this moment here with me.”

Clara tried to do as he asked, but it kept slipping away into the sound of breaking glass and the certainty that there was someone else in the house with them. She stared at him, forcing her frantic mind to react, to focus only on her immediate surroundings. The quiet stillness of the bedroom, the muted blue of her ghosts’s eyes in the low light, the familiarity of his voice, the feel of his fingertips, solid and cool against her skin. This moment.

“It was just a bad dream?” she said in a small voice, still not completely convinced.

“Yes,” he replied, holding her gaze. “And it’s over now.”

“It felt so real,” Clara said, unable to quite shake the lingering unsettled feeling.

“I know,” he said, his thumbs sweeping across her cheekbones soothingly. “I know it did. It’s alright.”

“Why do I have nightmares in this house?” she asked, the words bubbling out of her as soon as the thought crossed her mind. “I’ve never slept well here, since I was a baby, you said. Why?”

“Clara,” her ghost said in a warning tone, “just leave it be.”

She wrapped her hand around his wrist before he could pull away from her. “That wasn’t the normal sort of nightmare, was it?” she said, more statement than question. “You said earlier that you worried I knew something about this house, even before I was old enough to talk. What is it? What could I possibly have known when I was that young? What did I just dream?”

“I also told you that sometimes the past is better left buried,” he said, voice low.

“And sometimes not knowing the truth is a lot scarier than the facts themselves!” she shot back.

“And sometimes it’s not!” he snapped, surprising her. He sighed and shook his head in apology. “My Clara,” he said softly, his hands still gently holding her face. “Sometimes the truth is so terrible that you’re better off not knowing. Please let me protect you from this? Just this once?”

“Oh, god,” she said in realisation, nausea rippling through her. She wasn't sure how she knew, but she knew. “I wasn’t wrong about someone breaking into the house, was I? Only, it’s not happening now.”

“Clara, please.”

“Why do I know that? How? What was that dream?” The sound of footsteps downstairs drew her attention, and she looked to the door again. “Doctor,” she whimpered, her grip on his wrist tightening as terror surged through her, “there’s someone in the house.”

“Clara, Clara,” he said, leaning close to look into her eyes. “You can’t think about it. Focus on something else. Focus on me.”

She shook her head within his unrestraining hold. “You were there, too,” she said, sounding distant in her own ears. “I heard your voice from downstairs, and then a gunshot, and—”

“Not that memory,” he said quickly. “Anything else, any other memory. Please, Clara. You have to make yourself think of something else. The church in Glasgow. Think about the church in Glasgow.”

“The church in Glasgow?” she repeated, staring at him in confusion as her mind spun chaotically and her heart thundered.

He nodded. “It had stained glass windows and dark wood pews, remember? It was small, but we still only filled the first quarter of it.”

It was just a flash, there and gone, but for a moment she could see it. “It smelled of incense,” she said, utterly certain, the knowledge welling up from some deep, long-buried corner of her mind.

“Yes, good. What else?”

“I— I don’t know.”

“Your flowers,” he prompted. “That day at the church, what colour were your flowers?”

“Blue,” she replied immediately. “My bouquet was blue and white, and the flowers in my hair were blue. How do I know that?” she demanded, looking up at him. “That wasn’t me, how do I know that?”

“You know how, my Clara. Think it through.”

She heard breaking glass again, and looked towards the door. “The window,” she choked out. “Someone’s in the house.”

“There’s no one,” her ghost insisted, cool fingertips pressed to her face to pull her attention back to him. “It’s your mind trying to relive the trauma. Don’t let it. Think about— think about Cairo. The museum, yeah? The first time you saw me. Focus on that.”

“I can’t,” she said, a sob catching in her throat. Someone was in the house, and the gunshot—

“Try, Clara, please. For me. Think about Cairo, and the museum, and say the first thing that comes into your head.”

She took a deep breath and screwed her eyes shut, trying to force herself to focus on the impossible, to forget about the sound of breaking glass and think of the Doctor instead. “The first time I saw you, you were scowling,” she said, seeing it in her mind’s eye.

“Was I?” her ghost asked, sounding almost bemused through his worry.

She nodded absently. “And then someone said something to you, and you laughed, and I thought...”

“What did you think, my Clara?” he prompted when she didn’t go on. “Stay in that moment.”

“I thought you looked— interesting. Intriguing. With your angry eyebrows and your laugh-lines. I thought ‘that is a face I would like to get to know.’”

“Good, that’s good. What else do you remember? What did we drink that night? It was a party, what did they serve?”

“Champagne,” she said without hesitation. “But I didn’t like it, it was too dry.” She opened her eyes and looked at him, his face inches from hers. “How do I know that?” she demanded.

He didn’t answer her question, but pressed on instead. “You came to Thebes, almost a week later, do you remember that? Do you remember the first moment you saw me there?”

She searched within herself for the answer and somehow, miraculously, found it. “You were at the dig site,” she murmured, wrapped up in the unfamiliar memory filling her mind, crowding out everything else. “I saw you before you saw me, and you... You just looked so beautiful standing there, I wanted everything to stop. I wanted nothing to change, ever again. But then you looked up, and you grinned when you saw me. And I thought...”

Clara stumbled to a stop, feeling like the reality of what was happening was just outside her grasp, profound and unseen, some force of nature begging to be recognised. “I thought, ‘that is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.’ No,” she corrected herself, staring at him, that same heartbreaking longing coursing through her, identical to that remembered moment standing in the bright sunshine of Thebes. “I thought, ‘that is the man I want to spend the rest of the life of the universe with.’ I didn’t even know your name, but I knew—”

Swallowing past the tears forming in her eyes, she shook her head, words failing her. It was too much, her own emotions twisted up with the impossible images in her mind, her love for him tangled together with memories that couldn’t possibly be hers. “But that wasn’t me,” she insisted, her voice breaking, even as she wished desperately that she had been the woman who had met him in 1921. “That was her. My great-grandmother. How can I know that? How can I know any of that?”

“You know how, Clara,” he said again, gently wiping away a tear with the pad of his thumb. “Deep down, you know the truth. I think part of you has always known.”

She flickered her gaze over his familiar face, trying to understand, trying to fit the scattered pieces inside her together. In that moment, she wasn’t certain of anything — except that she loved him, and had always loved him. Her whole life, as long as she could remember, she had loved this man, her ghost. Loved him even though it was impossible, he was impossible. He would never feel that way about her, there could never be any chance of a future together. It was utterly hopeless, but that had never been enough to change the way she felt about him.

“Please, just see me,” he murmured.

Her eyes locked with his, pale blue in the dim light spilling in from the hallway. She knew every fleck of green in those eyes, every line on his face, every streak of silver in his hair, with as much certainty as she knew her feelings for him. And maybe, in the end, that was all she needed to know. Maybe it all added up to the same thing. The photos and the journal, her birthdate and that nightmare, her love for him and her longing for what might have been. There had only ever been one answer to any of it, and finally, Clara spoke aloud the only truth she could find.

“It was me,” she whispered, sure of it down to her bones. “It was me that met you in Cairo, and followed you to Thebes and to Glasgow. It’s me in those photos.”

“Yes,” he said, voice soft and emphatic. “It’s always been you. You found me again, like you promised you would.”

She stared at him, the enormity of that truth somehow not overwhelming her but completing her, the missing piece she had been searching for all her life. “I love you,” she said, the words bursting out of her, unwilling to let another moment pass before she told him. “I didn’t just realise that,” she clarified. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. But I didn’t know it was something I could say.”

Her ghost — the Doctor, the man she loved, her husband — smiled at her softly, wiping another errant tear from her face. “I have loved you for more than ninety years, my Clara. I didn’t think I would ever hear you say those words again.”

Leaning in, Clara closed the short distance between them and kissed him, her hands finding their way to his hair as he pulled her closer. It was miraculous, and ridiculous, and incredible, the solid reality of him against her. She had dreamed of this for so long, wished for it for so many years, without realising that it had always been hers to claim. Kissing him felt like coming home. She pressed closer to him, trying to remember him and memorise him all at once.

“Not that I’m complaining,” she said breathlessly when they finally parted, her forehead resting against his, “but I’m still a little unclear on the how of all this. If I’m her, then I— I died. How is any of this even possible?”

He gently kissed her eyelids and her forehead, then shifted them around so that he was leaned against the headboard and her head was resting against his chest, his arms around her. “Reincarnation is the word you’re looking for, I think,” he replied. “Rebirth. Same soul, new life.”

She mulled that over, adding it to the truths she had found inside herself. “That’s a thing that can happen?” she asked.

“Apparently. I know as much about this as you do. But it’s hard to deny the evidence in front of us.”

“So all those times I joked about us bantering like an old married couple...?”

“Well, one of us is old, anyway,” he said ruefully.

She pressed a kiss over his silent heart. “How long have you known?”

“There wasn’t a single moment,” the Doctor said, holding her close and running the backs of his fingers up and down her arm idly. “It was countless little clues, over the years. The fact that you could see me, for one thing. The way you turn your head, the way you laugh, a phrase here and there. Your kindness, and your never giving up. And your eyes, of course. The past few years you’ve started to look more and more like yourself, your previous self, but there was always something familiar about your eyes. It was only in the last decade or so that I became convinced it was really you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

She felt him shrug. “At what point, exactly, would it have been appropriate to inform you of my suspicions? By the time I was certain of it, you’d never shown any signs that you remembered, not really. Not like tonight. And I thought...”

“What?” she asked when he didn’t continue.

He hesitated, his hand stilling, and then said, barely a breath, “I thought it might be best if you never remembered. If I remained just the ghost that haunted your Gran’s house, and you went on with your life, not knowing the truth.”

“Live my life in the land of the living,” she said, repeating his earlier words. “Is that why you didn’t want me staying the night here? You thought it might trigger my memories?”

“No,” he said, taking a deep breath and sighing it out. “I didn’t want you to have nightmares like the one you just had, and the ones I suspect you had when you slept here as a baby. If that was the cost of remembering, I didn’t want you to have to pay it. Even if it meant you never remembered me.”

“That was a memory, too, wasn’t it?” she asked in a small voice, already knowing the answer. “That nightmare.”

“Clara...”

“Doctor,” she said, angling herself to look up at his face without moving away from him, “I know you’re trying to protect me, but I need to know the truth. All of it.”

“You know everything important—”

“But I don’t, do I?” she interrupted. “There are key facts I still don’t know. How you died, who my Gran’s father was, what exactly it was I just dreamed about. If you won’t tell me, you know I can find the answers on my own.”

He sighed. “I have no doubt you will.” He was quiet a moment, then said, “If I give you the basics of it, will you stop digging for the memory and let it be?”

Remembering the terror that had gripped her when she’d first woken from the nightmare, she nodded against his chest.

“Alright then,” he said quietly. “But in the morning. Some facts are too terrible for this hour of the night, and you should try to sleep again, if you can.”

“What makes you think it’ll go better this time?” Clara asked, burrowing deeper into his embrace and trying to keep her mind from straying to the memory of breaking glass. It was strange to think that when the sun rose, she would be back to not being able to touch him, but in that moment she was unspeakably grateful for the comfort of being held, secure in the arms of the man she loved.

The Doctor ran his fingers through her hair soothingly. “I could hum the song for you,” he suggested. “It seemed to help, before. Maybe it’ll help now.”

“My song,” she said, smiling against his chest.

“Yes, your song,” he agreed, and kissed the top of her head. “The song I wrote for you, my Clara.”

She drifted to sleep to the sound of that song, and didn’t wake until morning.

Chapter 5: The Present

#Whouffaldi #Twelve/Clara #Clara Oswald/Twelfth Doctor #Twelfth Doctor #Clara Oswald #Clara and the Doctor #Doctor Who #Doctor Who fanfic #This Isn't A Ghost Story #This Isn't A Ghost Story chapters #my writing #available on AO3 under the same title and username #please comment and reblog!

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