#ENJOY!!!!!

[grannie-nasty]

Intentionally somewhat upsetting Ask Game

1. Choose the manner of your death (it has to be so much more specific than “at a ripe old age surrounded by loved ones”)

2. That being said what’s actually *most likely* to take you out?

3. What’s going on your headstone?

4. Who would you most like to see super distraught at your funeral?

(Sorry I’m anxious on a plane I’m thinking a lot about death)

5. Do you have any irl enemies? Describe them. Tell us how they’ve wronged you.

6. Describe the worst sex you’ve ever had

7. If you were a fictional character who would you be? (flattering)

8. If you were a fictional character who would you be? (unflattering)

9. Give us a song you feel is about you (flattering)

10. Give us a song you feel is about you (unflattering)

11. Tell us about your shittiest, most problematic ancestor

12. What’s your order at the bar?

13. What’s your order at the coffee shop?

14. What would be the quickest way for someone to make you cry?

15. What's the kindest thing anyone's ever done for you?

16. Hell is real and perfect in its justice. what are you going for?

17. what will be your torment when you get there?

18. heaven is real and when you arrive someone comes to meet you on the riverbank to bring you home to jesus. who is it?

19. Purgatory is real too. Idk where I’m going with this one. Do you like your nipples played with?

20. A song that makes you horny

21. Give us a song for someone you love

22. Top three favorite smells

23. What’s the meanest thing anyone’s ever said to you?

24. How big is the biggest cock/strap you’ve ever managed to welcome into your one human body? Bonus if you tell us something else about the person wielding it (if it was just and your dildo against the world tell us something about yourself)

25. If you could change one thing about your body what would it be?

26. In the event of a Time Machine Mishap in what time/place within the last few thousand years would you be the most fucked?

27. Pretend the institution of marriage isn’t terrible and is good, actually. What are you wearing to your wedding?

28. Favorite flower?

[wexhappyxfew]

no hard feelings

(a/n): dougie deserves all the love and carrie achterberg was the perfect opportunity to test it out. had some ideas for these two a while back and finally pieced together their dynamic later in the war. there’s plenty of time to talk about their earlier dynamic but for now….enjoy these two and a look into their history together :) enjoy! ....oh and if you're a Sunshine Soldier fan (my first BoB fic), from ages ago, there's a treat for you stuffed in here!

"Well, well, well. Look what we have here. Pleasure seeing you ladies here."

Carrie glanced up from her rather in-depth conversation with Paulina and Bessie and found James Douglass, leaned up against the chair in front of them, across the table, a wide smile on his face, as he glanced at their faces and then settled on Carrie.

James Douglass - to which she had annoyingly started calling him Dougie, like the others - was never one to entertain nor hold onto something far longer than needed. However, when it came to her and, particularly, teasing her, he held onto that like a rope tied around his finger. He never let go.

"To what do I have the displeasure of seeing you," Carrie said looking up at him with a wry grin, to which he raised a brow at, "c'mon, let me have it. What is it? You need shoeshine for those things you call boots. You need me to go and kiss-up because you said something you shouldn't have. No wait - I got it. You managed to wake up late and missed breakfast, and need me to smooze you into getting coffee." The tables around them grew slightly quiet, a few heads turning; Paulina stuck to staring between the two, a bunch of scrambled eggs in her mouth, Bessie taking the opportunity to loudly sip on her coffee that was growing cold. Dougie sent her a look with his eyes and then looked at Paulina swiftly.

"Lieutenant Bradshaw said something about a fuse in Silver Bullets blowing," he offered, before dropping his voice, "right near the radio." Paulina's fork dropped and she launched up out the chair and darted away, calling over her shoulder through the loud lunch room, half-chewing, half-attempting to speak.

"I'll be back!" she called, wiping at her mouth, "James Douglass I'll have your head for this if you're joking around with that no-good head of yours!" Carrie watched her disappear and then watched Dougie look at Bessie, who sat rather unfazed and slightly tuned out of the conversation. Carrie momentarily shut her eyes when she knew what was coming.

"Kidd's looking for ya. Said he had a few things to talk to you about, from the good Colonel himself." Dougie offered and she stared at him and raised a brow, before ceremoniously wiping her mouth and standing.

"I'll be back." she muttered, eyeing Dougie, before sending Carrie a look, to which she rolled her eyes. Which left Carrie with Dougie.

Good God.

She turned her eyes to look at him and then leaned against the table, lacing her fingers, offering a rather sarcastic smile instead of sweet.

Listen, she got along with James Douglass, the whole base did, but sometimes he sweet-talked her because he enjoyed it. And he knew how much he could get to her, even if it was just teasing. Bessie always teased Carrie back that it was because he was taking a liking to her.

Carrie Achterberg was absolutely not one to take to gossip like that and had promptly squashed that. He had joked with her like this since training - it was James Douglass for Chrissake - he did it because half the time, there was enough sadness on this base to fill up an ocean.

"What do you want?" she said, pointedly acknowledging how rather relaxed he was, and how drained she appeared.

"Does it always have to be something I want? What about you? What do you want?"

"For you to leave me alone, so I can enjoy breakfast. Without the fucking peanut gallery."

"That hurts me, Bergie."

"Don't call me that."

"What? A lil nickname never hurt anybody. Bessie calls you that." She raised a brow in his direction and he shook his head.

"Look, just, can you…I don't know, just do me a favor?" Carrie stared at him and raised her brow further.

"What?"

"Can you dance with me tonight? At the flying club?" Carrie stared at him, before shaking her head.

"No." Dougie sighed.

"C'mon, why not?" Carrie looked at him sharply and sent him a scowl.

"If I'm gonna dance with someone, they're going to want to actually dance with me. Not just do it because of some other girl." Carrie said quickly and inhaled more egg, "I know you've been eyeing up Charlotte Tarvers, so." Dougie blew a raspberry and waved her off.

"Nah, nah, she's….I think she's got some guy in the Airborne, I'm not....nah." Dougie said waving it off, "Really, it's just….you and I, ya know? And, look, listen, favors is a bad word anyway…." Carrie looked at him, her cheeks dotting red a bit and she shook her head.

"You're just doing it to try and get another girl to come and be all fluffy in your face. Newsflash, Dougie, I'm not taking part. Ask Margie or…or Judy! Judy would love to."

"If Benny DeMarco were here he would smash my face in for even dare touching Margie and I'd rather not become one with Captain Rosenthal's dark side so, respectively….I'll take my chances." Dougie said and then looked at her. Carrie grumbled under her breath and shook her head.

"Fine." she said, "But. You have to promise to make it worthwhile, alright? Give me a twirl, hold me agonizingly tight, but not too tight, 'kay? I might even do my hair."

"Do your hair? Oh, Bergie, that's an honor right there. I'm honored, truly."

"Buzz off, shithead. Not for you. For me." Carrie said and then bit into a piece of toast, "I don't know….maybe it'll get someone's attention." Dougie's face turned serious for a moment as Carrie enjoyed her toast and he seemed to recalibrate.

"Uh….what do ya mean?"

"I don't know…..some of the guys, you never notice how cute some of them are until you see 'em, ya know? In their Class A's, looking all put together….especially after some of those last few missions." she said, "Maybe they'll see us dancing and ask to butt in. We'll see." Dougie watched her, looking more confused by the minute, bringing a spark of laughter to Carrie's lips.

"But…..you and I, we're dancing. Together. And going. Together." Dougie said with a chuckle before shaking his head, "You can't……"

"Are you jealous, Dougie?" Carrie whispered quietly with a grin, smacking his shoulder, "You're cute when you're mad." Dougie watched her as she continued eating, frozen in place, without any sort of words.

"Don't give me that look, that's exactly how you sounded to me," she said, and raised a brow, "so….you promise, it's just gonna be you and I. No other extras, huh?"

"Promise." Dougie said quickly, "Shake on it." Carrie eyed him, but then met his grasp and shook on it, before going back to her toast and enjoying savoring the taste.

"Who's the jealous one now?" Dougie whispered quietly to her from across the table, sending the blonde a smirk and a wink, who offered nothing but a glare, "C'mon, just saying. Sounds like you want me all to yourself." Carrie looked at him and then placed down the toast and met his gaze.

"I'm doing this for no one but myself. Not you." she said. Dougie rolled his eyes and then leaned across the table and dropped his voice, lowly.

"No other extras, huh?" he whispered, "Afraid someone's gonna steal me away?" Carrie slowly looked to his face, her eyes unmistakably drifting across his face for a moment before looking back at his eyes.

"Who says I'm afraid? You're the one inviting me." she whispered back quietly, watching that stupid smirk grow on his lips - a challenge. She seemed to have caught Dougie in a crossfire as he chuckled to himself and then leaned back in his chair and laid an arm over the empty seat next to him.

"If anything, you should be afraid someone's gonna steal me away. I've met plenty of those gentlemen to know they'd take any chance they could." Carrie said, her cheeks flaming at the way he watched her, making her collar hot and her cheeks red, "Why didn't you just ask Paulina? Or Bessie?" Dougie sent her a look and crossed his arms.

"There's a reason I'm asking you and not them, sweetheart." he said and she felt her face dip darker in color, to which she picked up her toast and took an angry bite out of it, trying to ignore that look on his face, to which she was almost enjoying. Knowing he was getting under her skin, and she was liking it. She swallowed her toast and then looked at him, schooling her features evenly.

"Enlighten me. What are you trying to say?" Carrie said, staring at him with a cool expression. A bold question to pose, in her opinion. Like bait for a fish. He watched her and licked his lips, suddenly under the spotlight and met her gaze again, fully.

"I want to dance." Dougie said, a nod, like convincing himself this was right, "With you." Carrie's eyes moved to his quickly. He stared right back at her, holding her gaze tensely as she reached for her coffee cup.

There was something in his gaze that was different than before there. A longing, a want, an eagerness - something that made her stomach feel funny and her toes tingle.

Why, she wondered in her mind. There were a bunch of other wonderful ladies he could dance with that he would have a far better time both dancing and conversing with - people that were pleasant and friendly and happy. People that weren't like her. She looked to him again and watched as he leaned forward and shook his head.

"Listen, Bergie, I'm sorry," he said quickly, waving his hands in front of himself, "it was too forward, I get it. You got a lot of shit going on back home, you don't want-"

"No." Carrie said, stopping him mid-sentence, his eyes flashing to hers as she sat there, cheeks turning red again as she tried to stop it. She shook her head and balled up her fists and fixed her shoulders.

"It's not that." she managed out in a stammering pace, shaking her head. The two watched each other - him, waiting on her to open her mouth, and her, waiting for her mind to connect with her mouth to speak. But it didn't happen.

"What's going on, Bergie?" Dougie asked quietly, noticing as she looked at him, trying to gather what thoughts were left in her mind.

All she could think of was the casualty list - the way it grew, larger and larger. The amount of planes that had gone up and never come down. The amount of men they'd lost, the people that were gone never to return. The families that would never get their sons and daughters back.

"James." she said quickly, and he looked at her in earnest, "I….." He stared at her, the most serious she'd ever seen a look appear on his face.

"This is…." she couldn't get her words right, the puddle of her mind overwhelming. She couldn't look at him and speak what she actually wanted to say. It was too real. All of these. These feelings, what was going on around them. This war.

"Did something happen?" he asked quickly, "Listen, I just joke with you, no hard feelings, just-"

"I'll dance with you." she said quickly, "Tonight. Just-" she stood quickly with her half-finished cup of coffee, looking down at her pants rather than him, "-just….I'll see you there." She took her plate and then spun away, moving around the edge of the table, her eyes on the door.

"Wait, wait, Bergie-" Dougie said, jumping to his feet, and lightly placing a hand on her elbow. She turned to look up at him, catching him in the haze of late morning light and watched as his eyes softened, only seen by her, his eyes lingering on parts of her face she hated to show a soul, his body heat penetrating her own with how close he seemed to be.

"Are you okay?" he asked her quietly, dropping his voice, "I mean, you don't have to dance with me. I just…..we never have and I figured I owed ya-"

"I'm fine." she managed quickly, "No, we'll….we'll dance. It's fine. I'm fine." She offered a smile his way and he watched her, regarding her face quietly.

"I didn't ask you because there's another girl or to have a laugh, none of that, that's a shit thing to do, alright?" he said quietly, "I asked you because I want to dance with you. You, Bergie." She stared at him, her eyes flicking back and forth, over and over. The longer she stared at him, the more her heart began to race and the blood rushed to her cheeks.

"What I'm trying to say is that you're the most beautiful woman I've ever met, and I finally have the opportunity to dance. With you." Dougie said quickly, his ears and upper cheeks turning red, even though he seemed to try to hide it. Between both their faces and the redness of their cheeks, it was quite a sight for any onlooker or eavesdropper. She stared at him.

"I almost did. Back in Greenland. You definitely didn't want anything to do with me, but I almost did it." he said, a nervous smile on his face, "Figured you were pissed with me. So I didn't. As usual." She continued to watch him - him, rambling, her, staring. After a few moments of silence that lingered between them, she blinked.

"I'm always pissed with you." she said, but she said it in a way that was both factual and sarcastic and got a smile going on Dougie's face.

"Well, I know that," he said, "figured you wouldn't want to dance with the guy you're pissed off at. I don't know, as I go to twirl you, you'd probably try to push me into a wall or something."

Carrie stared at him - she'd let him twirl her into his chest and more, hold her close to his chest, in his broad, warm arms, tell her it was okay, that this was okay, that this was allowed, that she could feel this. She stared at him, her heart racing. And he stared back, that deep look in his eye that was enough to make her lose it.

"Keep looking at me like that and you'll get more than you bargained for." she whispered softly and then offered him a small, smirking grin, and walked away, her cheeks and ears burning.

If she looked back, she'd get that look that she knew was on his face, forever implanted in her mind and she couldn't have that yet. Not now.

As she placed away the plate and took one last sip of her coffee, she moved towards the door with her arms crossed and glanced over her shoulder just as she stepped out and looked to where Dougie was, stood still, hands in his pockets, watching her like something holy had just appeared right in front of him. She winked.

[iloveyoumichaelnesmith]

New shirtless Monkees just dropped

I'm Told I Had a Good Time: The Micky Dolenz Archives, Volume One

[shiningsuki]

The First Promise

.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･ Book 1 of the STARRY WITNESS Miniseries

full series on AO3. xavier x mc. your first life together.

SYNOPSIS: You meet a boy like light itself who brightens your darkest days. He makes your last days outshine the rest of your short life by light years.

Chapter 1 Preview *:·ﾟ✧*:·ﾟ✧

Mornings in Philos, especially in the early spring season, are never really quiet. There is a buzz in the air—if one listens close enough, one feels the vibrations, life tingling all around. Evol, the energy that makes the universe and the source of your power, hangs everything in the balance. You feel it humming beneath your skin as you walk to school, waving your arm in the air. Your fingers wiggle slightly with the movement. With an absentminded awareness, you sense your Evol connecting with the air around you; your body and nature are always in harmony.

This all passes as fleeting thoughts. As soon as you pour your energy into the connection, you feel it draining just as fast. You drop your arm and make a sweeping glance around the market you pass through to get to school. The Academy’s campus lies in the heart of town, and your dorm is just under a ten-minute walk from school.

It’s a rare sunny day. Philos’ frequent storms and cloudy days finally break into a cool, spring morning. The streets begin to wake up. Older men and women set up their stalls. More cars start to pass you on the sidewalk. The humming you sense begins to amplify, ever so slowly, an exponential rise that you’ve come to recognize as second nature. As the world wakes up, so does its resonance, the one that connects your Evol to everything.

You adjust your backpack on your shoulders. Then you tuck your hands underneath your armpits, your hoodie’s thick material providing a little more warmth from the chill. It’s still cold this early in the year, but you try to make up for it by layering your uniform accordingly.

You calculate that you’re about five minutes from school when an entourage of large black cars zoom past you. Since the sidewalk is so close to the main street, the sheer speed makes gusts of wind blow toward your body. It makes your hair fly around and you instinctively hug yourself tighter. The added draft doesn’t help with the morning temperature.

Curious, you eye the line of cars and wonder who’s important enough to ride in them. They turn towards the school’s direction. You eventually follow into the same street, and the Academy’s gates greet you several feet ahead.

History teaches all of Philos’ citizens that the Academy is a stepping stone for the best and brightest students to utilize Evol in its various ways. They could study it in research labs. They could become Lightseekers and protect humanity from Wanderers and other universal threats. They could even become explorers, traversing the Deepspace tunnel into the vast corners of the universe. Discover whether or not you all are the last living organisms in this plane of existence.

None of it appeals to you. Granted, you can’t see so far ahead in the future. This is your first year at the Academy, yet even after the break, your prospects seem dim at best. Everyone tells you that you have time to figure it out. But time has never been your ally.

You subconsciously rub your chest as you approach the gates. They’re wide open for an hour before the start of the school day. In the circle drive, you see the black cars from earlier all piled up one after the other, parked in front of the main building. Outside each car, a large man stands guard, sunglasses covering their eyes and an earpiece tucked behind their ears. They scan their surroundings. You make eye contact with them, though you can’t really tell. They don’t spare you another glance.

As you approach closer, one of the car doors opens. A flash of silver hair glints in the rising sunlight then disappears just as quickly behind a pair of guards. They flank this person on all sides as they enter the school.

Strange, you think. Someone important is visiting? It’s after break, but you don’t remember hearing news of a welcome-back assembly or important announcement anytime soon. Then again, you don’t pay too much attention to what happens outside your classes. You follow a group of students entering the doors. You catch a bit of their conversation. They too wonder what the mysterious entourage’s presence means at the school.

Read the full chapter here ✧·ﾟ: *✧·:*

© shiningsuki on Tumblr and suki_dreams on AO3. all rights and permissions belong to the author. reposting without permission is prohibited. all depictions of love and deepspace are inspired and unaffiliated with official storylines and characters.

[macfrog]

Can we…. maybe have….another…. SNIPPET OF DBF JOEL 😁🫶🏻

your enthusiasm both astounds and inspires me. of course you can 🧡

And how much – despite how nice and friendly, or funny and good-natured she is – how much he hates her right now, and how much he fucking loves you. But you’re gone, now. Washed away by the tide. No more sand in Joel’s palm. He tries to stop it. Tries to wind back a little, tries to make the sea cough up what it just stole from him. Give her back, you fuck. His eyes are stinging like salt water. Why are they stinging? There’s a roaring in his ears – the waves laughing in his face. Sickly and deafening. He’s doing his best to keep a hold on his trembling voice. He knows he sounds pathetic. But yours is louder, stronger, steadier. And when you talk, it’s with an air of finality. Like you’re turning over the horizon. The last time he’ll ever see you again. “I’ll see you ‘round, Joel.”

[typicalmagpie]

FOUND - A TF2 Fanfic

Sniper's parents are dead. The rest of RED help pick up the pieces. ... Engineer is the first to crack in a game that only Spy knew was being played. His drawl is quiet, conspiratorial - “I take it you've got somethin’ brewin’ up in that noggin’ of yours?” “I have no idea what you're talking about, laborer.” Spy replies immediately. Engineer’s only response is a disbelieving hum, so Spy continues. “The bushman’s woes are none of my concern.” “But you’re gonna find out what’s bothering him,” Engineer says quietly. It's not a request, because they both knew Spy was going to pry, anyway. “An’ when you do, you’re gonna tell th' rest of us how to help.”

Click to read on Ao3!

[phosphorus-noodles]

I finally did it, and now I present to you:

Pho's Scuffed Mini Minecraft Axolotl Crochet Pattern! (as seen in this post)

(I'm going to transcribe the pattern I used for Sir Strawberry/the pink axolotl because I personally think it looks better/he's just cuter sorry)

(US) Abbreviations + Tutorials

These are the main stitches/techniques used in this pattern, nothing too hard for a beginner to learn :)

mc: magic circle sc: single crochet stitch inc: increase stitch dec: decrease stitch ch: chain sl st: slip stitch hdc: half double crochet dc: double crochet BLO: back loop only pic: picot stitch

And here's some tutorials to learn how to do them! (I looked at first results, but there are absolutely more out there haha)

Working in the round (magic circle)

Basic stitches (ch, sl st, sc, hdc, dc)

Increase + Decrease stitches

Back Loop Only

Picot Stitch

The Head

Round 1: 5sc in mc (5 stitches)

Round 2: inc around (10)

Round 3: (sc, inc) x5 (15)

Round 4: BLO around (15)

Rounds 5-7: sc around (15)

Round 8: (sc, dec) x5 (10)

Round 9: dec x5 (5)

Slip stitch, tie off end.

The Body

Round 1: 5sc in mc (5)

Round 2: inc around (10)

Round 3: (sc, inc) x5 (15)

Round 4: BLO around (15)

Rounds 5-9: sc around (15)

Round 10: (sc, dec) x5 (10)

Slip stitch, tie off and leave a long yarn tail to be used to attach the body to the head.

The Tail

Start by chaining 8.

Starting in the 2nd stitch from the hook, 4hdc and 3dc to the end. Tie off, leaving a long yarn tail to attach the tail to the body.

For the colored fin edge on the tail + back:

Join at one end of the base of the tail, hdc around, chain 12, and sc back under the chain. (Image in the assembly section of what this piece should look like.)

Legs (x4)

Chain 6, turn and sc back. Tie off, leaving a tail for sewing.

For the toes, 3 picot in mc, tie off and weave ends through arm.

Frills (x2)

Chain 3 in magic circle, sc back and slip stitch into mc. Repeat twice (to make three points) and tie off, leaving a tail for sewing.

Assembly

When you have finished making the pieces, they should look something like this, ignoring the frills and eye pieces.

(Image from this pattern I based mine off of. I did not purchase the pattern and plagiarize it, I only looked at the pictures and experimented until I made something I liked, but if you want to buy a professional pattern with better images/instructions, there you go lol)

A lot of this assembly is intuitive/based on vibes alone. If something doesn't look right, try something else and see if it looks better! Have fun with it. Make it silly :)

First, sew the body and head together. Use a dark thread or other eye color to wrap around a few stitches to make eyes in front. Attach the frills to the sides of the head.

Sew the tail on the back so the back fin can go up and get sew along the back. Put the legs wherever feels right.

Tuck all the yarn tails from sewing into the body, or leave them hanging out so it looks like an eldritch string monster.

And that's it!! You have a cute baby axolotl for all your nefarious purposes :)

[desceros]

As soon as I saw the update I LITERALLY went "HIHIHIHHH" like bro what even was that

a visceral response. nods a lot. i approve

[sparxwrites]

The Asshole-Of-The-Internet AU

sparx god. dsmp has internet and comms are iPhones and tommy gets banned from dsmp Twitter so he has to anonpost on dsmp 4chan

hoodie RKJGHRKGHKJGHERHGJHRHGH TOMMY ON 4CHAN OH NO

sparx …………oh no now I have “what if asshole-end-of-the-internet dsmp au” 4chan kiwifarms whatever else

hoodie they try to radicalize him but it doesnt work bc he literally is in exile

sparx SCREAMING okay but au where dream runs 4chan. Wilbur stars as null who fucks up 4chan and then makes kiwifarms when he gets run off the site. tommy is the normie they’re both desperately trying to recruit. Schlatt runs rise of kings or whatever tf the pick-up artist site is called

hoodie OH MY GOD YES

sparx this is perhaps the worst thing ever I have had in my head and I do not say that lightly

hoodie its SO fucking funny tho tommy in the reddit dms with wilbur who is trying so so hard to get him to join his site but tommy just keeps asking how many bitches wilbur gets from kiwifarms and wilbur has to say 'niki left me bc i made the site'

sparx SFAHDJFKGKGLSGSHDKGHRKRL niki left Wilbur and went to found ovarit which i think is like. the radfem site heghghgh

hoodieRJKHRJGHGH wilbur radicalised niki

sparx his dick was so shit it radicalised niki………….. George on 4chan but he just fuckinf sucks at being nasty and keeps messaging dream like “there r people being racist on here :/“

hoodie george on 4chan telling ppl to stop saying slurs

sparx YEAH YEAH u see my vision

hoodie george: idk this is kind of mean :/  dream, typing out smth incredibly evil: its just the internet it doesnt matter

sparx dream has to pretend occasionally he has morals for the sake of the bussy which he still has yet to get him and quackity are moots on some incel website

hoodie hes in it for the long game RJHGH quackity is on an incel website bc sapnap and karl left him

sparx he watches Schlatt’s webinars on negging

hoodie REJGHRJHHG quackity: takes notes so he can use it to win back sapnap quackity is literally the only gay person in a sea of pathetic straight men who are threats to society

sparx diversity win! this homosexual is a pathetic man who’s a threat to society <3 techno bc he is a chad only has a Snapchat that he uses to post gym thirst trap gains pics

hoodie RGJHJGRHGH sapnap is also a chad who only has snapchat he and techno have each other added so they can compare gains quackity hate screenshots all of their posts and jerks off to them in the private of his sad sad studio apartment

sparx HRGHRJGJGKD YES Karl makes Twitter threads so long u gotta use that unroll app for them and refuses to add image descriptions tho george keeps begging him

hoodie RHGERJHGHG why is george the most moral person in this au im crying hes just a normal guy trying to do the right thing

sparx Tubbo runs a parody account of a major political figure, except he’s actually very smart and has a lot of good ideas and the political figure is very stupid and so a) many people think tubbo’s account is actually the real one and news outlets regularly report his tweets as tho they’re fact, and b) he realises slowly that the guy he’s parodying is actually copying his ideas

hoodie ERJGHEGHERJGHKJERHGJGHERJHGJHGERJGHJGHRJGHRGH THATS....OH MY GOD wait what if the political figure is like Eret or smth

sparx Tommy: tubbo they banned me from 4chan :(  Tubbo, typing under his “@scrotus” account: wait a second Tommy I’m trying to influence international trade policy with China

hoodie KJERGHEKJGHJRGHGHRJGRHJGH clingyduo in this au goes so fucking hard also dream violating the rules of his own site to ban tommy is SO funny tommy has to go back to reddit

sparx I do also love the exile implication that it’s possible to get banned from 4chan YEAH

hoodie dream just wants tommy's cringe ass off of 4chan tubbo should honestly be banned from twitter but at this point everyone is convinced hes really eret and eret's actual account gets banned for impersonating a public figure

sparx hrbrhfhfr YEAH eret does not attempt to get unbanned bc at this point he desperately needs tubbo to keep his ratings up

hoodie tubbo is really the only thing keeping the public opinion of him up tubbo is the last bastion of hope for his reelection tommy literally is barely aware of all of this hes too wrapped up in whatever tf is happening with wilbur and dream ranboo has a tumblr

sparx ranboo has a tumblr and has no idea tf is going on out there

hoodie eryn used to have a prank youtube but he went too far and got permabanned JHRGHRJHG ranboo is safe....

sparx he's busy reblogging fanart of the founders of 4chan and kiwifarms kissing

hoodie KJRFHEJKGHJGHRJGH dream considers doxxing ranboo for this crime bc ranboo is the one drawing that fanart

sparx YES YES YES

hoodie wilbur on the other hand turns the fanart into his mousepad and sends pictures of it to dream

sparx tommy: ranboo why are you drawing rpf of my brother  ranboo: wait these are real people  ranboo: ............................wait your brother founded kiwifarms?????

hoodie tommy: yeah  ranboo: ......................tommy im sorry but this has to go in your callout post  tommy: youre making a callout post about me?  ranboo: i have one in my drafts just in case : ( sorry : ( i have one for all of my mutuals

sparx aLJSDKJFHERJGKHERKJGEFKJGHE OFC HE DOES

hoodie this is all said by a guy who has been drawing fanart of kiwifarms founder kissing 4chan founder....hypocrite

sparx the joke’s on ranboo, tubbo has files on all his friends with their addresses phone numbers known aliases known associates family members birthdays social security numbers and photos of the outside of their house

hoodie TJGHERHJGHJERHGHRGHJGEGHHGG tubbo is prepared to drop these if any of them ever cross him even wilbur wont fuck with tubbo and wilbur also has the full doxes on everyone...expect for dream this is part of why dream is wilbur's arch enemy sorry this is the best au of all time

sparx this is a absolutely the best au of all time wilbur is obsessed with getting dream's dox

hoodie wilbur: tommy im not going to help you do your homework, im trying to dox dream

sparx he's like. tommy. tommy i gotta get dream's dox. there's only ONE way to do this.  tommy: stalk hi-  wilbur: seduce him  tommy: ...............aight i'm out

hoodie RKJHGJHH tommy: have fun you fucking freak wilbur: oh i will, i will : ) tommy:

sparx tubbo, absently, scrolling twitter: do you want me to make homosexual sex illegal? i could probably do that  ranboo: my fanfic is coming true?!  tommy: ..................................what the fuck is wrong with both of you

hoodie tommy: why is everyone i know a wrongun??????  ranboo: im not a wrongun...am i?  tommy: you draw fucking art of my brother making out with dream ofc youre a wrongun!!!! tubbo: im going to outlaw rollerskates

sparx DSKJFSHHKGJ tubbo's just casually running a country

hoodie tubbo is basically the president at this point shockingly a positive thing when we compare it to dsmp canon that was not so positive for tubbo karl makes a thread about how tubbo isnt actually the real president but tubbo just responds saying 'yeah im a parody account' and literally no one believes him

sparx everyone's like, oh, our eret, so witty! so funny! look how down and hip with the kids he is

hoodie RGJGHRJGH

hoodie also im watching a schlatt video rn and honestly schlatt needs to be in this au more i think he should be the third person trying and failing to radicalise tommy

sparx OKAY BUT THIS AU IMPLIES SCHLATT MANAGES TO LIKE. TAKE KIWIFARMS FROM WILBUR front page news that's like "I'M THE EMPEROR NOW BITCH"

hoodie HE SHOULD ERKJGHJRHGHGHG he fucking stages a coup

sparx jannies lockout

hoodie RJKGRJGHGH wilbur is literally flipping things in the other room HIS GLORIOUS SITE....HIS KIWIFARMS.... his unfinished symphony

sparx UNFINISHED SYMPHONY OF KIWIFARMS

hoodie JRHGH schlatt perma bans wilbur and tommy's accounts and also doxxes wilbur then hes like 'if i find out any of the users here are female im banning them too' this is how wilbur and niki eventually end up teaming up bc he convinces her that schlatt is the true evil

sparx HOWLING HE WOULD

hoodie 'this is a manly site for men ONLY'

sparx niki: wilbur i will work with you if you publicly record a video saying ur dick is tiny and ur head game sucks  wilbur: ........... :( ok

hoodie wilbur: anything to get my site back.............

sparx ranboo: so that new video from wilbur..... uhh. anyone else think it was kinda....... 😳 tommy: ranboo. my brother. i am going to kill you.

hoodie tommy: ranboo you have one last chance to apologize or i will end your life right here and now  ranboo: sorry for being gay 😔 tommy: not sorry enough!!!!!!

sparx SORRY FOR BEING GAY im gonna shit

hoodie RJGHGGHGH ranboo is sorry for being gay for your brother, tommy

sparx hmmmm who have we forgotten in this au

hoodie hmmmmm tina fundy fundy is a scorned kiwifarms mod who thought he was wilbur's fav

sparx JSHDFKJDFHG fundy: i was your SON wilbur  wilbur: fundy. you're 19. i am 21.  fundy: your SON

hoodie fundy: you ABANDONED ME  wilbur: i was literally kicked off of my own site

sparx fundy: i'm gonna kill myself now  wilbur: lmao. -wait NO DON'T

hoodie TJKGHRGHRGJH wilbur: wait bro are you joking?  wilbur three days later: i think he actually did it  fundy, not dead: taught him a lesson lol

sparx skdjfjsdkjghdfkjghdfkj

hoodie this au is a blessing

sparx it's Something!!!!

[ashipiko]

ASHI OB <3

HIGHHHLYYHG inspired by tsukasa’s recent event from proseka (as ya can see) but he’s an Ashi inspiration so <3 it’s okie

🤔🤔 if you guys are curious I can spill more about it but I have little things under the cut!!!

DISCLAIMER:

Ashi OB does NOT happen canonically at all (cause the aftermath would be way too messy and it’d destroy her entire character 😭😭) and its just a fun little “what if” scenario SO YA

^^ first off i think this section of Mr. Showtime can represent the OB build up pretty well

AND HERE’S SOME OB VOICELINES (like the chibi talk before you fight the OB)

INTRO:

Overblot Ashi appears from the cloud of blot. Her face is covered by a smiling mask.

The mask is then pulled off, with her launching her hands in the air.

“Boo! Haha! Did I scare you~?”

PRE-BATTLE DIALOGUE:

“This isn’t Ashi. This isn’t like her at all!”

“Huh. Your guys’ jokes aren’t very funny, you know.”

“After all, that’s just what you guys think. Just because you believe that doesn’t mean it’s the truth.”

“Isn’t it amazing how acting can have that effect?”

“But well, I’m sure Acey knows *all* about what’s going on, doesn’t he~?”

“I…”

“...Stop it! I’m gonna knock the sense right back into you!”

“Ehh… A tough crowd tonight, huh?”

[milesdadworth]

With Christmas upon him once again, Miles Edgeworth is faced with returning to Germany to visit the von Karmas. The previous Christmas when he had visited, the only topic of conversation was his failure at his first trial. This year, Miles Edgeworth is desperate to avoid that.

His solution? Reconnecting with an old friend, and roping him into being a distraction—as a fake boyfriend.

The plan was fool-proof.

Or perhaps it's simply proof that Miles Edgeworth is a fool.

Chapter 4 is up now!

[icallhimjoey]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (also on here!) (im a lil drunk cause im at a gig! Miss your face! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️)

[glamfellens]

I think your posts & art are single-handed lot going to get me to start playing a Fallout game 🫡

o7

[carfuckerlynch]

Awesome!! Can I request an outfit moodboard of the "come back from dead wrong trope"

[radiantlyrey]

TRON Fic: a sort-of sequel AU thing... (Part Two)

Couple days ago I posted the first part of this story [link], which is a quasi-AU where Flynn takes Alan and Lora to the Grid to meet Tron and see what he's been working on. Here are the next 1500ish words of that.

~~~

Tron isn’t sure how he expected Alan_1 to react to him, but perhaps it’s fitting that they’re both stunned into silence at the sight of each other. He stares at Alan_1 silently, his face betraying no shock, though he is a little unnerved by how closely they resemble each other. No wonder Flynn kept calling him by Alan_1’s name, early on; they could almost be copies of each other.

Now Flynn’s walking out to greet him and Clu, and Alan_1 and the other User, Lora, follow. (She resembles Yori, Tron realizes as he glances at her, so much so it’s disconcerting.) Flynn smiles at them and says, “Alan, Lora, I’d like you to meet Clu and Tron. They’re my partners in here; basically they keep things running smoothly when I’m busy back home.”

“A pleasure to meet you both,” Clu says in his warmest voice, extending his hand to both of them in turn. Lora shakes his hand immediately, but Alan_1 keeps glancing between Clu and Flynn, as if in disbelief.

“Flynn,” he says at last, “how did you—do this?”

Flynn at least is smiling, and he replies, “You’re gonna have to be a little more specific, Alan.”

“Why do they… look like…”

“Excellent question!” Flynn says, though it wasn’t one. “Clu looks like me because I made him that way; I programmed him within the system to act in my stead. As for Tron… far as I can tell, he looks like you because you programmed him.”

Alan_1 blinks several times, his mouth opening and closing slowly. Tron watches him, then finally steps forward and says something. “Alan_1.” Their eyes meet, and Tron dares to hold his gaze. “It’s an honor to meet you. Truly.” He holds out his hand, knowing that the worst that can happen is Alan_1 ignoring the gesture.

But he reaches out and takes Tron’s hand, gripping it firmly, though Tron can feel him shaking a little. “It’s, uh. It’s nice to meet you, too.” They stand there for half a micro, staring at each other with a handshake between them.

Tron sees Lora sidle over to Flynn. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

Flynn shakes his head. “Who, me? Nah.” Lora tilts her head skeptically (looking so much like Yori in that gesture that she must be—), and he says sheepishly, “Okay. Maybe a little.”

She elbows him, then walks over to stand beside Alan_1. “It’s nice to meet you, Tron,” she says. Alan_1 startles a little at her voice, and disentangles his hand from Tron’s. Tron manages to keep a neutral expression, and offers Lora his hand. She shakes it twice, with a smile, and he smiles back.

“It’s an honor to meet you as well,” he says, and then, before he can think better of it, he adds, “I—apologize if this is an impertinent question, but—are you Lora_B? I knew a program on another system, and she—resembled you, and—”

Lora’s smile fades, and she turns to look at Flynn, who sighs and says, “Oh, hell. I can’t believe I forgot about Yori. Sorry, Tron, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s all right, Flynn,” he replies. “I was only surprised—”

“Yori?” Alan_1 looks down at Lora. “Wasn’t that the utility you wrote at Encom for the laser?”

“Not at Encom,” Lora says. “I wrote Yori on my own time, at home. Which is why, when I got the job at Cal Tech, I—”

“You took her off the Encom system?!” Flynn exclaims. “But then—oh my god, that explains everything!”

“What do you mean?” she asks, frowning a little.

“It was right after you’d left Encom that I transferred Tron over here. I meant to bring Yori, too, but I couldn’t find her in your archive. I spent two hours looking, too. And when I talked to Tron in here, he just said—”

“That Yori had been called back to her sector,” Tron says slowly. “But does that mean she’s—she’s all right?”

“I saved all my personal data to floppy disks. They’re in my office at home.” Lora looks between Flynn and Tron, the smile gradually returning to her face. “I can dig through them when we get back, if you want. Bring Yori here…?”

Flynn whoops and claps his hands together. “Yes! Hell yes.” He laughs, shaking his head. “I knew this was a good idea!”

Tron finds himself smiling again, but Alan_1 looks bewildered. “I’m confused,” he says. “What just happened?”

“You’re not gonna be the only one with a doppelganger in here,” Lora replies, nudging him with one elbow. “Once we get back, we’ve gotta go through my Encom stuff at home, all right?”

“Okay, but—”

“Just roll with it, Bradley,” Flynn says cheerfully, clapping Alan_1 on the shoulder.

“Not that this isn’t fascinating…” Clu says, and they all turn. In all the conversation, even Tron has forgotten he’s still there. “I do have other business to attend to this cycle. Flynn, could I have a word…?” He stalks down the street a few paces, and Flynn, excusing himself, follows quickly.

Lora and Alan_1 exchange a look. “I know that voice,” Alan_1 remarks darkly.

“A little too well for me,” Lora agrees.

Now it’s Tron’s turn to be confused. “How would you know Clu’s voice?”

“He’s just a copy of Flynn, right?” Lora asks. Tron nods. “They sound just alike, too, and when I heard that tone from Flynn? It usually meant he was about to be Bad Boss Flynn.”

He blinks, still confused. “And that means?”

“It means he’s about to tell you in the nicest possible terms that you’re screwing something up,” Alan_1 says grimly. “He doesn’t do it all that often anymore, but four, five years ago?” He shakes his head.

“I heard more of that voice than I cared to, my last year at Encom.” Lora folds her arms. “But thank god Flynn’s at least getting over it. Between Jordan and Sam, he’s definitely mellowed out.”

“I see.” Tron isn’t sure that he does, but he understands the gist of what they’re saying. “Clu is… very goal-oriented, sometimes. And I think he’s troubled by the lengths of Flynn’s absences lately.”

“Hence the Bad Boss voice,” Lora observes. “ ‘I understand why you haven’t done the impossible yet, but you really need to step it up if we’re going to make our quarterly goals.’” She deepens her voice in a fair imitation of Flynn and Clu both, and Tron has to chuckle.

“That does sound familiar,” he admits. Lora laughs, and Alan_1, at last, is smiling a little.

Tron looks past them both, down the street to where Flynn and Clu are talking. They’re far enough away that their voices aren’t carrying back, but Tron can see by the set of Clu’s shoulders that he’s not feeling charitable towards his User. Flynn reaches up, trying to put a hand on Clu’s shoulder, but Clu turns away from him. Flynn holds up both hands and backs away half a step. He holds out one hand, and after half a micro, Clu finally responds, shaking Flynn’s offered hand. Then Clu turns around and heads down the street, and Flynn begins making his way back to them.

Alan_1 has turned to watch as well, and when Flynn’s within earshot, he says, “That looks like it went well.” There’s a sarcastic edge to his voice, and Flynn shakes his head.

“Yeah, it, uh, didn’t really, thanks for asking. Anyway.” He puts his arms around Alan_1 and Lora’s shoulders. “What say we get this show on the road, kids? We’ve got about eight hours to see the wonders of the Grid, so we better get started.”

“Yeah, this empty street hasn’t been much to look at,” Lora says, grinning.

“It looks like a piece of sci-fi concept art,” Alan_1 adds. “Not bad, but… lacking context.”

“Oh, you ain’t seen nothing yet,” Flynn quips. “You brought a lightrunner, right, Tron?”

“I did,” Tron replies, turning towards the street corner where he parked. “With the extra row of seats in the back, since you said you were bringing guests.”

“Excellent! Let’s hit the road, then!” He links his arms with Alan_1 and Lora, and nods to Tron. “Lead on, if you will, program.”

Tron nods back, and leads them down the street to where the lightrunner waits. Behind him, Lora says to Flynn, “By the way, I think we figured out who Clu is.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alan_1 says. “He’s you, when you’re being an asshole.”

“You mean I’m not charming one hundred percent of the time?” Flynn asks, laughing. “You wound me, Alan.”

Tron smiles to himself as he opens the lightrunner’s interior. He’s not sure even Clu could put a damper on these Users, Flynn included, and he’s glad Alan_1 seems to be getting used to things. With any luck, this will be a millicycle worth remembering.

Part Three!!