#EDITED FOR SOME CLARITY ALREADY SORRY

[ghost-proofbaby]

It's summer for you, winter for me. Warm me up with strawberry fluff! As always, my muse, your muse, the one and only, Eddie.

Midsummer's night, because I don't have a lot to inspire you with. I'm thinking something cute but weird? Maybe some human body softness where Eddie is a bit of a freak and we love him for it. And we're told our bodies are lovely, even when they're doing weird shit.

I lalalove youuuuu. xo Rhi

RHI!!!! <3 i adore you. thank you for this prompt - i had far too many ideas for it, but ended up on settling for this one, which coincidentally feels like the most subtle of them all? either way, it definitely turned out being the softest. give me an eddie munson who just wants to sniff me like a dog. this definitely got a bit long but i hope you enjoy, my dear <3

the smell of you

warnings: weirdos in love? idk. i have a skewed sense of what is actually weird i think. mentions of death and coffins jokingly. eddie 'manhandles' reader sort of. not edited.

wc: 2.2k+

come enjoy a sweet summer treat with me <3

“Eddie?”

The entire apartment is quiet – too quiet – as you drop your keys into the old crystal bowl on the counter. The clink resonates through the air, louder than the soft murmur of the stereo static you can hear from down the hall. 

“You dead?” you call out again, slipping off your running shoes and tossing down your headphones onto the counter as well now, “Do I need to call the coroner?” 

Your tone is lilted, teasing with airiness as you continue to wander deeper into the apartment and head straight for the room you know Eddie has to be in. Like the waves pulled by the moon, there’s an incessant string tied around one end of your soul that connects you to his, and you follow it all the way down the hallway. The bedroom door is wide open, and you can hear his mumbled yell of a response without clarity before you even cross the threshold. 

You wouldn’t have even needed him to verbally respond to find him in this tiny apartment. You two could get separated on the streets of a bustling city, of a buzzing New York sidewalk, and you still wouldn’t properly lose him. It’s more than just soul ties and his gravity that keeps you pulled to him. 

Something unspoken. Something homely. 

“Sorry, what was that?” you hum as you spy him face-down in the bed, pillow muting him by the mouthful, “Say it one more time, and this time not into the pillow.” 

When he finally properly turns over, he’s a vision. Sleep lines folded into his skin and a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth, eyes squinting in irritation not at you but the sunlight flooding in through the bedroom window. Messy hair, messy shirt, messy everything. A kind of mess you just want to collapse into currently, curling up in all that he is from the day’s exhaustion. 

He’d mentioned wanting to take a nap before you’d left for the gym. Something about the summer heat draining him, trailing off as he’d rambled about how he’d probably thrive as a vampire. 

“I said,” he huffs, sitting up, the frizz of his hair becoming a makeshift halo, “If you call the coroner, request the comfiest coffin possible.”

“Why do you need a comfy coffin if you’re already dead?” 

“You dare deny me of being buried in tempurpedic memory foam? In my hour of need?” 

You roll your eyes as you huff out a little laugh, forcing yourself to turn away from him long enough to strip out of your socks. But just as you reach down for the pieces of clothing, you catch sight of the source of that stereo static flooding the room. 

Your shared record player, spinning a blood red pressing of one of your more recent vinyl purchases. The album has been played through, but the player no longer had an automatic stop mechanism, probably from years of use. 

The center of the record is probably scratched, and Eddie knows it, from how sheepish he looks when you glance over your shoulder at him. 

“Speaking of death,” you walk over quickly, purposefully, before carefully lifting the needle and cutting the static finally, “Care to explain why you’re burning scratches into my Momento Mori vinyl?” 

“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologizes, nearly flinging himself off the bed as he scooches quickly to the end, clearly fully awake now, “I put it on and thought I’d just lay down for a quick second, but then the bed was so comfy, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick nap, and then…” he trails off, looking up at you through his lashes with big eyes already pleading for forgiveness, “I’ll buy you a new one. Swear it.” 

It’s impossible to be mad at him when he’s looking like this, inhumanely soft and easily forgiven, “You’re lucky you’re cute, or you really would be dead.” 

He doesn’t respond with words, but instead the outstretch of his hands, fingers flexing as he beckons to you. The needle rests on its perch, the vinyl left behind to gather dust for a few extra moments, as you go straight to him. 

When his palms slip beneath your old t-shirt and meet your skin, they’re pleasantly warm. 

“You were right,” you admit as his knees spread, delegating even more room for you to stand in front of him as your hand wanders to cradle the side of his face, fingers tangling in sweaty curls from his rest. Your thumb mimics his on your own skin instinctively, tracing a large arch right up over his cheekbone, “It’s hot as balls outside.” 

“Told you so,” he murmurs, smiling softly in satisfaction as he leans lazily into your touch. 

“You did,” you agree quietly, half-entranced by his relaxed face, no sight of pride in the room currently. 

He resembles a cat as he continues to preen under your gentle hand, and you almost expect him to start purring right before you find the strength to pull away, removing his hands from where they'd wandered to your lower back. 

One swipe of his finger along your sweaty spine, and you’d remembered what your original intentions had been immediately upon getting home. 

“Wai- Where are you going?” he’s seemingly brought back down to Earth the moment he loses the pattern your thumb had been tracing, the press of your fingertips into his scalp. When he reaches back out to latch onto you again, you take a step back, “Get back here-”

“I need to shower,” you laugh, shaking your head and smacking his hands away as he continues to barter, “I’m all sweaty and smelly, let me go clean up and then we can nap togeth-” 

“You can shower after we nap,” he nearly whines, finally catching your shirt between his fingers and tugging, uncaring for if he stretches the fabric. A small price to pay to have you close to him, “C’mon, sweetheart. I know you’re just as exhausted as I am.” 

You swear you meant to take another step backwards, but somehow, you end up back between his knees, “Did you not hear me, Munson? I stink.”

“Good.” 

He doesn’t give you any time to react – in an instant, he’s throwing his face forward, burying it against your stomach as you let out a gasp and immediately try to pry him away with far too gentle of hands in his hair. 

“Eddie!”

If it were anyone else, you’d probably be mortified. But Eddie just takes a dramatic deep breath in, nose buried just shy of your belly button, and when his shoulders start to shake with muted laughter, you can’t stop the smile from breaking. Your fingers are still twisted in his hair, still pulling back in an attempt to get him away from you, but he’s resilient. 

And all your faux resistance is weak in comparison. Soon enough, you’re back to melting into him. 

Only once you’re relaxed once more, no sign of trying to pull away again any time soon as his hands once more evade the space beneath your shirt to wander up and down your sticky skin without a care in the world, does he lift his face away from you long enough to breathe and speak, “I’ll have you know – I love your stink.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.” 

“You’re an idiot.” 

“I’m your idiot.” 

The game of banter is cut short when he goes back to pressing his nose into your clothes that surely can’t smell good. No amount of deodorant or perfume could erase that underlying stench of sweat. Hell, the shirt is still a bit moist from it all: from the walk to the gym, from your workout itself, from the walk home. It’d been through the ringer, and you’re back to tugging him away from you. 

“I refuse to believe you like how gross I smell right now,” you reinforce, eyes darting towards the bathroom connected to your master bedroom, “I promise I’ll be quick with the shower.” 

“Baby,” he fights back, wrapping his arms around you securely, no intention of losing this battle, “You remember that time we went to the fair, and you were complaining about how you were sweating, so I tried to lick your face?” 

Your nose scrunches quickly at the memory, “I do, unfortunately.”

“You really think I’d be willing to lick the sweat off your body but be afraid of you smelling a little bad while we cuddle?” his shoulders drop as he looks up at you, head tilted, almost as if amused with the conversation, “What kind of man do you take me for?” 

“The kind that gets off on annoying me.” 

His jaw drops, putting on a fake look of offense before he dramatically throws himself back onto the bed, laying flat as he makes a fist to mimic stabbing his chest, “You wound me.”

You’ve heard those words a thousand times in a hundred different ridiculous voices. You’ve seen this scene enough to have it mesmerized at this point, down to the over-exaggerated pout of his lips and the lingering of the fist against his sternum. 

You never grow tired of it. You never will. 

“Need me to kiss it better?” you joke as you prop a knee up on the bed, following the same script as always. 

And he hits his queue perfectly when he lifts his head eagerly at the expected response, wiggling his brows a bit. “Absolutely. Doctor’s orders, in fact.” 

“Great,” you see an opportunity, and take it, “I’ll get right to it, after my showe-” 

You don’t even get the final syllable of the word off your tongue before he’s clenching his thighs around your own, knees pressing hard before he wraps his legs the rest of the way around your waist to pull you in. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as you begin to fall forward, but Eddie is quick to break the fall with ease. Catching you with his eager hands, maneuvering for you to half drop to the mattress while some of you still lands atop of him. 

He has you right where he wants you, turning his head to be face to face with you, noses nearly brushing, “Unfortunately, the doc said you have to kiss it better now, or else you’ll be comfy coffin shopping.” 

“A fatal wound?” you gasp, nearly mocking him. It doesn’t offend him – if anything, his boyish grin only grows wider, “First, I’m smelly-”

“Again, I like when you’re smelly.”

“-And then I inflict a fatal wound upon my lover? Oh, how dare I.”

Slowly, all your insecurity of how you currently smell is simply fading. The entire ordeal has become an art of childlike, whimsical jokes – and Eddie is an artist. A professional at the dance, locked and loaded with his incomparable skill set equipped for disarming you this way. The ability to make someone feel loved, imperfections and weirdness aside. 

He likes you, even when you claim you don’t smell your best. And you like him, even when his hair is tangled beyond recognition and one of his socks is half-hanging off his foot from a nap.

You like him when he’s embarrassing you in public, tongue chasing after you with the threat of licking your sweat away, and he likes you when all you can do in response is a weak palm to his chest (that isn’t even making an effort to push him away) as you giggle relentlessly. 

You like each other on the good days, the bad days, the weird days. 

Disarmed entirely, you don’t even notice when his face conveniently slots itself far too close to your armpit as you two scooch further up into the bed. You’re more occupied with the way your legs tangle up, toeing each other’s socks off properly as he slings a heavy arm across your torso. 

“We’re gonna have to wash the sheets,” you mumble, exhaustion catching up as the two of you finally settle. 

He hums absentmindedly, nuzzling into your skin a bit further as he makes himself comfortable. “And wash away your sweet, sweet stink? I don’t think so, sweetheart.” 

“Oh, fuck off,” you laugh, unbothered as your fingers start to trail up and down his back over the t-shirt, smoothing out wrinkles along the way, “I’m serious. We need to change them soon anyways, I think I got crumbs in the bed the other night with those crackers.” 

“Bury me in the crumbs of all your midnight snacks,” he almost slurs, clearly drifting back off. 

You snort in response, relaxing and letting your own eyes shut. Matching all your deep breaths with his own, a million different last words crossing your mind to whisper to the boy you’re sure is once again asleep. 

I love you.

I adore you. 

I would like to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. 

And maybe some of those unspoken thoughts slip out without you realizing, because he squeezes you just a little bit tighter, presses his face just a little bit deeper into your skin as his scruff tickles you. 

The only actual thought you can know for certain that you say, though, is, “Do you think they actually make coffins with memory foam inside?” 

To your surprise, even despite the almost-snores that had been escaping him, he answers in a heartbeat. 

“Oh, definitely. We’ll order two.”

[bishlova-ship]

Okay, I already posted about this, however at the time I was posting about another Bishova fic I'm working on. I haven't quit working on that one, it is just a much more complex story and I'm trying to ensure things flow properly.

That said, I recently got inspired and now I'm a few chapters into a shorter fic that is much less complex. So, I am seeking a Beta Reader for it. The first chapter is in Google Docs and ready to be reviewed.

So, here is the summary (subject to change), along with the Beta Reader checklist and other things worth noting.

(Also note that this fic is purely self-indulgent. I had inspiration and now, well, I can't stop myself. I have no self-control whatsoever.)

_________________________________

Fic summary:

"Holy hell!" Kate gasps, eyes wide with shock. "It's Hawkeye! The Hawkeye! The Avenger! In... whatever room this is. Wait, where am I? Why is Hawkeye here? Oh my God, did I die? Is this heaven?"

She starts rambling, excitement quickly bleeding into confusion.

What?

Yelena feels her stomach drop. There is no reason Kate wouldn’t know who Clint is. She texts him every day along with frequent video calls. Clint, Laura, and Yelena exchange an alarmed glance, all unsure of what to say or think.

“Kate Bishop...” Yelena swallows, nausea quickly building. “Are you being serious? Please tell me you’re playing a really cruel joke. I do not like this… Please stop.”

“Stop what? If anything, there’s a joke being played on me! But if it means meeting Hawkeye, then I don’t mind.”

“I’ll get the doctor. Clint, come with me,” Laura says quickly, already heading for the door, Clint following with an uneasy look.

Kate turns to Yelena. “Hawkeye is here. Oh my god. I can’t believe it. Can you believe it? Oh yeah, who are you, by the way? Sorry if that sounds rude.”

AKA

The one where Kate doesn't remember anything about Christmas 2024 and beyond after a mission gone wrong. Set 7 months post-canon.

_______________________

Fic details:

Avg. words per chapter: 3k-4k Expected chapters: At least 10 Rating: G for a good amount, but also T, and definitely some E, eventually :3 Trope being used: Amnesia because why not? lol

EDIT: Also, the Beta Reader checklist, I do not expect all of those things. Just to clarify.

Beta Reader Checklist

(Adapted from a checklist created by AO3 Comment of the Day.)

Development:

brainstorming ✅

plotting ✅

research

Grammar:

tenses ✅

spelling

punctuation ✅

pronouns

subject/verb agreement ✅

paragraphing✅

Writing:

tone ✅

flow ✅

pacing ✅

continuity ✅

plot holes ✅

structure/plot ✅

clarity/removing ambiguity ✅

awkward metaphors/phrasing ✅

overuse of certain words/phrases ✅

Sensitivity:

racism

sexism

homophobia

transphobia

ableism

religious intolerance

potential squicks/triggering content ✅

Canon:

characterization ✅

timeline

references ✅

Other:

first impressions/reactions ✅

positive feedback ✅

language (e.g. US/British English)

formatting ✅

smart quotes vs. straight quotes ✅

AO3:

fic title

chapter titles

summary ✅

tagging ✅

[starflungwaddledee]

Oooo starstruck dee has little stars at the bottom of her feet! Are they just aesthetic or would they make imprints into the ground? (like pawprints)

exactly like that! though she's not the only one...

edit: might need to add some additional dialogue to this to make it more clear, but a clarification in the interim; he knows about his own footprints. he's just surprised to see something similar already there when he knows he's only just landed. he lifts his own shoe to confirm that they're not identical (and also to reveal this to the viewer). seems his stoicism beat off the clarity in this one, sorry 😭

[waitmyturtles]

I've Caught Up With Wandee Goodday, and here are some cons and pros (aka, am I ever burnt out on GMMTV)

HELLO. I'm back temporarily from my summer travels (before I travel again!). I was in Thailand! I should have brought a box of chappals to chuck at the GMMTV building for where Wandee Goodday has gone. Anyway, I need to process my thoughts on this show, so here we go. (And I apologize, I have NOT looked at the tag for this show, so I don't know if I'm repeating what other people are saying here.)

PROS

CONS

1) This show had so much brainrot potential! Remember the first, like, four episodes? Potential homophobia in multiple workplaces? Delicious bisexuality? Ace storylines??? Wandee's PUTZ deception and manipulation? Yak going along with it, why?? There was a lot going on here, a lot we could have chewed on.

I've been sitting on my historical review of Golf Tanwarin's The Eclipse for my Old GMMTV Challenge for about two months now because I can't get over how pissed I was that that show took some unnecessary, and frankly insensible, turns in part to showcase the damn center ship of First and Khao. I don't think Golf's WG has taken similar turns specifically to center the GreatInn ship, per se -- I just think the writing got messy and lazy right before WG's midpoint in general, and punched a lot of the excitement I had about the show right before I paused around episode 8.

Wandee Goodday is an EXCELLENT example of how Thailand's hourlong QL dramas could be made INCREDIBLY more impactful, by way of forced editing and clarity, if Thailand could follow Japan's suit by making 10- to 12-episode series with 30-minute episodes.

The Dr. Ter storyline was over before it actually, really ended, in, what episode was that, 9 or 10. It was over! Why drag it out? In Japan, that storyline would have been two episodes, mayyybe three, MAX. Shirasu Jin was barely in Kieta Hatsukoi for an episode before he was banished. Takeda Kouhei barely made it through two episodes of Minato's Laundromat 2 before he went bye bye! We don't need these middling dudes. There was enough happening with Dee and Yak to not need this Ter shit! Sorry, LOVE YOU PODD, but Ter was made irrelevant so early on, and then they actually had to work together on a huge case?! And NOW HE'S CHEESING ON TAEM? Like, no. We don't need this.

2) There's still a lot of confusion and conflict between Dee and Yak by last week's episode 11. Dee's got issues receiving love! This is big.

(By the way. Showing Dee ONE video of his parents cheesing on him as a newborn is NOT THE WAY to explain away future parental neglect as an older child. YIKES.)

I love that Yak wants to invest in Dee, and we do see Dee doing a lot of reciprocating there to Yak, but this parental neglect reveal, along with still not knowing enough about the back story of Dee's parents dying, is out of order and not helpful to me getting enough knowledge about Dee for me to feel a holistic sympathy towards him. This makes me wonder if romance is really Golf Tanwarin's bag: if Golf didn't have to focus so much on the DeeYak/YakDee romance, could we have gotten better emotional representations of these guys, gotten a better picture of WHO THEY ARE, before they got into each other? Maybe? I dunno.

3) Considering that homophobia in systems seems to be a theme that Golf is interested in, why did the show drop Yak's concern about being out vis à vis his boxing career? Showing up at the hospital early on, in front of Ter's people, was already a big risk that wasn't given consideration; and now Dee's gone ahead and put the big pre-match smooch on full display by episode 11! I know Yak's gone full tilt for Dee, but I think we needed to put a bow on Yak's early macro-level concerns about being out for that loop to be closed.

[I feel like I have similar concerns here about 23.5 as well, so I'd like GMMTV to know (REMEMBER BAD BUDDY????) that you can have romance and big social commentary in a show at the same time without sacrificing lovely, intimate moments. Neither 23.5 nor Wandee Goodday needed to scrap heavy emotional moments for social media memeable clickbait.]

TL;DR this show, this script, could have been so good, there was so much there by way of storylines.

ANY FUCKING WAY.

PROS

1)

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHOW WENT HERE WITH THOR. THIS IS DISSONANCE, THIS IS CONFUSING! THIS IS MAGNIFICENT.

And the follow-up scene with the FABULOUS Fluke Nattanon. Fucking Thor. He's so good. They're so wasted in this show!

2) Great Sapol and Inn Sarin. There's a con here: the elephant pants do nothing for Great's butt. But otherwise, Great, and Inn as well, are DELIGHTS. THEY ARE GOOD ACTORS. They are wasted on this script. I hope they never work together on a GMMTV show again. If they're ever paired again (which I hope they're NOT, down with the ships), I hope they can get cast in a big ol' queer lakorn, à la JamFilm, and escape the need for the meme moments.

The thing is, about Wandee Goodday, is that if you admit you're into the show FOR THE DUDES, then I get why this show is watchable (AND IT'S WHY I'M FINISHING IT, GODDAMNIT), because the actual intimate moments ARE lovely. They're just not coherent with everything that we should know about these guys by the end of a series, and that makes me sad.

Anyway, this show ends this week, and that's it! I wish GMMTV's shop had had the WG items in stock when I was there in person; fuck these shipping fees, I want the Phadetseuk shirt so bad! If I had known this would be a kind of light and fluffy watch, I would have set my expectations WAAAYYY differently, and I would have likely had a better time watching this. As it stands now, I'm better suited to enjoy the finale, so I'm glad I got these complaints out of my system, and I'll say sayonara to all these dudes in full ogle mode later this week.

[lesbiansforangusmcdonald]

Ok, finals are over, so now I can FINALLY post my Pepe Sylvia theory about Porter actually being evil that has been ruminating in my head ever since I saw season 2! (spoilers for s2 of fantasy high, obviously)

(sorry if someone’s talked about it before and I couldn’t find it, but like WE NEED TO DISCUSS THIS BEFORE S3!)

Ok, so I noticed something when Ragh talked about the first time he saw Kalina in episode 4 of season 2 (“Heartache on the Celestine Sea”). He says that he saw Jace talking to some elven woman (who is revealed to be Adaine’s mom, Arianwen) and to “someone he couldn’t see. I just assumed somebody was invisible.” This is most likely Kalina, as Arianwen was there to get the Nightmare King’s crown and Kalina could have been helping her do that. However, this is important because, since Ragh could obviously see Kalina later on, this is a point in time when he couldn’t see Kalina.

Then Ragh says that after he saw that, Jace and Porter came to talk to him, and “Porter did some barbarian healing with me.” This seems normal enough, as Ragh had just been in a huge fight, but Ragh stipulates that “I didn’t feel that injured, honestly.” So this line already makes it seem as though Porter may have had some ulterior motive for healing Ragh.

Then, Ragh says that as he was walking home after this, he was approached by Kalina, who threatened to kill his mom if he said anything about seeing Arianwen at the school.

(the clip of the scene is here, if you wanna watch it, edited slightly for clarity)

So this makes me think that Jace and Porter knew Ragh saw Arianwen at the school, knew he would probably tell the Bad Kids about it, and Porter intentionally passed Kalina to Ragh through healing in order to ensure his silence.

AND if you’re thinking this may be a bit far-fetched, I’ll remind you that Landren Leir, the cleric of the unnamed goddess who infiltrated the elven Galicaean church after the fall of the unnamed goddess, also passed on Kalina via healing of the high-elven clergy, which she was then murdered for.

But in order to pass it on to Ragh at all, Porter must have been infected with Kalina as well, so here are some of my theories of what that could mean;

1. Porter had no idea he was infected and was just trying to heal a student.

I mean, totally possible, right? From most of the other angles, Porter seems like a decent guy; he supports Fig in barbarian class, he’s part of a community at his local gym, and he did get sucked into a palimpsest when Kalvaxis/Goldenhoard was trying to take over the school — why would that happen if Porter wouldn’t have been opposed to what Kalvaxis/Goldenhoard was doing? And there are plenty of people who are infected with Kalina and never show any symptoms, and therefore never know. It could have been totally innocent. BUT it’s just a little too convenient, isn’t it? Ragh sees Arianwen at the school, and then right after he’s “randomly” infected with Kalina? It just doesn’t seem like a coincidence.

2. Porter knew he was passing Kalina onto Ragh, but wasn’t aware of the full plot to steal the Nightmare King’s crown.

I mean, also possible, right? Maybe Jace put Porter up to it, maybe he knew more than Porter did about the whole situation? Porter wasn’t initially mentioned as talking to Arianwen, maybe Jace just manipulated Porter because he knew that Ragh would trust Porter as his teacher. BUT I think that it would be kind of weird for Porter to be in the school, be infected, be around all of these other people who are in on this wider plot, but they don’t get him involved. Maybe they thought he wouldn’t go for it, thought he was too nice, but I’m not sure. I mean, I think this theory has more merit than the first one, like it’s possible, just would be a little weird.

3. Porter was in on the plot to bring back the Nightmare King.

I mean. Like I know this may not be another Loose Duke situation. But it’s possible! Like, he’s in the right positions! He works at the school. He has the trust of some of the bad kids. He didn’t openly support Kalvaxis or anything he did. Maybe their larger organization (which they do hint that there are more people throughout the world that want to bring back the nightmare king throughout the campaign) thought that he should lay low and hold onto the trust of the bad kids, just wait until the right time to strike. Again, the fact that he would knowingly put a student, one of HIS barbarian students, in such serious danger, in order to protect the larger interest of bringing back the Nightmare King, does not stack up well against him.

So, do I think that Porter will end up being the big bad of season 3, or even the elusive season 4? No, probably not. BUT I do think that he’s sus as fuck and we need to stay on our toes, because he could turn out to be more of a threat with the right opportunities.

[devondespresso]

Mr. Crayola Henderson

T | 1791 words | ao3 link | cw: minor ableism from a side character, also they swear, I always forget f-bombs bother some people sorry guys | STWG Prompt: Telling a story to get out of trouble

EDIT: I NEARLY FORGOT thank you @pearynice my beloved for the brainstorming GENIUS and @hairstevington for the sensitivity read! You guys are awesome!! Also thank you @saradika-graphics for making free dividers!!

((little bit of context for extra clarity: this universe is vaguely canon divergent, post season 2. Steve is hoh (hard of hearing) and already adopted by the Hendersons, and in this one they're in the middle of a sort of family reunion/gathering))

Steve went to duck inside the house, holding the door open for Aunt Tracy on her way back out into the backyard where the majority of the gathering was taking place. She smiled and said something, probably just a thank you that he would’ve heard if the batteries in his hearing aids hadn’t died. He smiled back at her and gestured to his ear and she nodded again with a smile that did its best to not be patronizing.

She left and Steve went inside, sighing a little and tried to not hold it against her, the lack of filter seemed to run in the family, but it was moments like that that made him grateful his mom was the most laid-back of the Henderson women.

Steve went over to the media room and dug through the little bin of batteries under the phone, pulling out an opened pack that had just enough left. He took both aids off, changed the batteries, and put them back on to make sure they worked.

He heard a strong thud from his bedroom, followed by muttering.

Steve put the dead batteries down on top of the table and stared at his bedroom door. The muttering escalated to hushed bickering.

Steve walked closer to the door, hearing the bickering more clearly, then opened the door.

Dustin and their cousin Aiden both jumped and turned to look at the door, Dustin relaxing when he saw it was him. Steve paused for a second, looking at both of them crouched on the ground, bright pink paint on their hand and clothes and the carpet around them with no bottle in sight.

Steve leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at Dustin.

“We were just… snooping through your shit. ” Dustin said.

Steve glanced back down at the paint everywhere, and gave him a look.

Dustin just smiled like a little angel, which worked on mom and maybe Steve-from-two-years-ago, but not now.

“Oh no, you found my secret stash of… bubblegum pink paint.” he deadpanned.

“The cheap kiddy bubblegum pink paint.” Dustin corrected, looking down at the carpet. “It’ll wash out.”

“Of course.” He looked over to Aiden, who had relaxed significantly as he realized Steve wasn’t going to blow up on them. “And… why is there totally washable pink paint in my room specifically? Weren’t you guys sticking to dicking around outside to avoid doing stuff like this?”

Aiden opened his mouth to give a better excuse, but Dustin started tapping his shoulder excessively to get his attention.

“He’d help us.”

Steve raised his eyebrows, not arguing because odds were good he’d end up doing something, but he still played it up like he wasn’t already planning to.

Aiden was turned mostly towards Dustin and muttered something he couldn’t catch, throwing a glance at Steve.

“Trust me, this is like a walk in the park compared to–” Dustin said.

“Hardly a fair comparison, man.” Steve interrupted. 

“–compared to the other shit he’s helped me with.”

Aiden thought about it, then glanced towards Steve. “And he's not going to jump ship afterwards and get us in trouble?” 

“Of course not, right Steve?”

Steve looked at the two of them and ran a hand over his face.

“You know step one of not getting in trouble for stupid shit is not starting stupid shit, right?”

Aiden groaned but Dustin agreed immediately, “Yes, 100% understood.”

Dustin elbowed Aiden, and he nodded despite his clear annoyance. 

Dustin smiled and looked at Steve.

He rubbed his temple one last time before throwing his hand down.

“Okay. Step two then.”

Dustin jumped up and shot him a thanks before running around him towards the kitchen. Steve watched him go then turned back to Aiden who looked just as confused.

“What’s he doing?”

“I don't know.” Aiden lied, looking at him curiously, “What's step two?”

“Find me and let me finish the stupid shit.”

“Huh.” 

Dustin came running back with a slice of deli-meat in one hand.

“Dustin, this isn’t looking much better than last time.”

Dustin paused his mad dash for just a second to look at him.

“It’s significantly better, I swear.” he said, then ran to sit back down, dropping the slice of meat on the floor in front of him, and waited.

After a few seconds of nothing, a fuzzy little white face poked out from under his bed. Cautiously, a opossum with pink paint splashed on its back came waddling out. It sniffed at the food given to him, nibbled at it, then opened its mouth as wide as it could to awkwardly chomp at its new snack.

It was a wild animal, Dustin brought in a wild animal inside, during a family gathering with some of the most worry-wart mothers he’s ever met–

But god, the tiny opossum was really fucking cute.

Dustin beamed at the little guy like a proud mom, then up at Steve. Steve shook his head in disbelief and joined them carefully around the opossum. He picked up the deli meat and placing it on his hand to get the little guy used to it.

“You’re crazy, Henderson, you’re fucking crazy.” He grumbled, playing up annoyance to avoid losing his better judgment. 

Dustin said something probably cheeky as hell, but he didn’t catch it.

“One more time.” he said, looking away from the opossum for just a second.

“And what does that make you, Henderson?” Dustin smiled, definitely cheeky.

“Reluctantly, also fucking crazy.” he sighed, shaking his head before moving the deli meat further up his hand to lead little Mr. Opossum onto it.

He lifted Opossum gently, letting it have the rest of the deli meat so he could use two hands to hold it steady. He stood up slowly, and started walking towards the bathroom.

Dustin and Aiden went around him to get the door, lights, and sink ready– apparently, to continue where they left off. There were pink handprints around the edge of the sink and a bottle of dish soap sat next to the hand soap.

“Wow, I wonder what happened here.” Steve deadpanned. He looked over at the both of them, not a hint of guilt in their eyes. “And this is why there aren’t two Dustin Hendersons.” he bitched with no real anger, and set Mr. Opossum down gently in the sink.

 “You mean this is why there aren’t two Aiden Haults.” Aiden said, leaning over the sink.

“Nope, Dustin gets the credit for this one.”

Steve closed the drain to make a pool of water and Opossum gravitated to it immediately, taking a drink before waddling into the pool and almost rolling in the water to get his fur wet.

Steve tried and failed to bite back a smile.

“His name is Sir Crayolan.” Dustin said.

Steve had no choice but to bark out a laugh.

“Sir what?”

“Sir Crayolan.”

“Oh god, I heard you correctly.”

“It’s a great name!”

“You know Sir Crayolan isn't staying, right?”

“Yeah, we were gonna let him go after we washed him, we just–” 

Aiden muttered something and tugged on his sleeve, pointing out the bathroom doorway towards the back door.

Just out of the window, Aunt Tracy was caught in conversation with someone, looking like she was laughing, but clearly stopped just before she was going to come inside. Steve quickly rinsed some of the minimal paint on his fingers, careful not to scare Mr. Crayola or whatever.

“Does she know you’re in here?”

“No, we hid in your room–”

“Good, you guys wash him, carefully and quietly, I’ve got the rest.” He whispered, wiping his hands off on a towel.

“You’re the best, Steve.” Dustin said, giving him a quick side hug to avoid getting paint on him.

“Oh really? I’m gonna need that in writing.” He smiled and Dustin stuck out his tongue. Steve returned the gesture and slipped out of the bathroom, straight across the hall and into his bedroom.

He turned off the lights immediately to hide the pink mess on his floor and waited to hear the front door. 

He heard Aunt Tracy’s laughing rather than the actual door open, heard her wave off whoever it was she was talking to through the door. He took one hearing aid off before he walked out of his room, closing the door behind him. He made his way back to the abandoned dead batteries and put his aid back on, messing with it a little longer than strictly necessary.

“Oh, Steve, there you are. Everything okay?” she said, joining him by the tv room. 

“Yeah, just had to find batteries. What’s up?” 

“Oh yes, well– now, I know I could be overreacting, but I haven’t seen Aiden anywhere for– oh, for god knows how long–”

“He was with Dustin earlier–”

“I know, I know, but they were near those woods weren’t they? And you know there were those missing kids stories–”

“Trust me, I know.” he said, dropping the dead batteries into their battery jar. “I can help you search for them if you want, but I don’t think Dustin’s ever gotten lost. He carries around a compass like it's his wallet. Worst case scenario? They’re messing around in the woods somewhere a little too far away and they’ll come running back once they realize we started eating hotdogs without them.”

“God, you know Claudia said the same thing, I just worry…”

“Ron just lit the grill, right? Let’s give them twenty minutes,” he checked his watch, “Until five… five fifteen-ish. If nobody sees them, I’ll help you look.”

“Twenty minutes, alright, I’ll tell Claudia.” She said, and circled back to the door.

“I’ll join you guys in a second, I’m grabbing a coke.” he called, jutting a thumb back towards the kitchen.

She called something back with a wave and Steve just waved back until she disappeared out the door. He walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a cold can for himself and a diet pepsi for mom, then circled back to the bathroom.

He checked over his shoulder once real quick before tapping on the door and opening his coke.

Aiden answered the door, cracking it open just enough to stand in the doorway.

“You got all that, yeah?”

“Twenty minutes, we’ve been exploring in the woods.”

“Yup. Release your critter out the front door and circle around. I am not joining a search party for you guys today.”

Aiden nodded and gave him an overserious salute. Steve threw a more casual one back.

“Tell Mr. Crayola I said ‘bye’.” he said, then turned around to leave as Dustin came to the opossum’s defense. He hid his smile by taking a sip of his coke, and went back out the door.

(obligatory disclaimer uhhh dont pick up wild opossums please ok thanks guys love ya)

[cirillka]

A lot of unnecessary banter from "fans" clogging up Witcher 4 posts when we should just be excited and enjoying trailer edits and fanart. It's tiring, but every complaint has a logical answer, there's no "ah-haa" moment in any of these complaints.

"Ciri can't be a witcher." Except she's called precisely that in the books and in the... Witcher Ciri ending of Witcher 3. Which the entirely of the game's plot suggested (I understand there's alternative endings, but the game's logical flow goes to Witcher Ciri ending). Ciri is a playable character in Witcher 3 alongside Geralt. She is in every way Geralt's daughter, apprentice and heir to his profession. This is a classic "did you not play the game/read the books?" response and I don't know who, with any bare-minimum inkling of the lore, would say this with any seriousness.

"She couldn't have gone through the trial of grasses." Her going through the trial is clearly new Witcher 4 lore, but it's not an unreasonable route. The reason Geralt was a "super" witcher was that he was able to take on more mutations for his trial because he is the son of a sorceress, which isn't supposed to happen as sorceresses can't conceive children (this due to their bodies undergoing changes when becoming disciplined in magic, not some sacrificial ritual that the show suggested). Ciri's bloodline is not just a sorceress bloodline, but the Elder Blood/Lara Dorren bloodline which is so coveted for it's magic prowess, it... was a central aspect in the books and Witcher 3 plot. It is reasonable to assume that she would survive the trial of grasses should she elect to pursue it, which she clearly did.

"She's OP." Trust that CDPR will write to accommodate this? From the trailer, it seemed clear that Ciri had to resource manage her Lara gene. She wasn't teleporting at all, we saw the classic green magic associated with it, and she chose to channel it into a lightning spell. I think that's a great balance. Besides, who wouldn't wouldn't want to play as a combo witcher and sorceress, do you hate fun? lmao.

"I can't play cause Ciri is a woman and I need the protagonist to be a man to relate to them." Skill issue, honestly. I understand the feeling of playing a character that is your gender identity (I am excited to play Ciri for this), but I've played plenty of games as a man and the narrative experiences are still enjoyable and worthwhile, Geralt being no exception. Literally my two guy friends who are the biggest into Witcher, read the books and played the games with me, cite Ciri as both their personal favorite character and are so stoked she's taking the lead in Witcher 4. People with any attachment to Geralt as a character should feel naturally excited his/your daughter is taking up the mantle.

"She is ugly." Incorrect. She looks older, mature and beautiful all in one. This makes her look different from her younger Witcher 3 self, yes (as we should expect?), and in all the best ways. I'm sorry you hate attractive women, that is a personal problem and I wish you future clarity.

"She better not be gay/woke." She already is. The Witcher already was. Even without the books, there is a direct dialogue choice as Ciri where you can specify a preference in women (referencing her girlfriend from the books). The game will likely write her as bi and let the player choose, so sit down and quit crying.

Edit for one more I saw: "She has a School of the Cat medallion, that's wrong!" She's had it since the books, it was a pivotal moment and big spoiler how she got it, but it hung from her belt in her Witcher 3 designs. She just wears it on her neck now.

[athenaeum-of-the-herald]

hey idk what all this stuff about a server is.....but what i wanna know........is in your apollo post.......you made him sound so vain......."because he is apollo so he must have the best temple" no he defeated python for letos protection.......and you called him unreasonable for his treating of the satyr.........no it is a fable meant to warn against arrogance.....the satyr was arrogant..............u also ignored his various plague epithets and destroyer epithets..........plz stop pop culturising a god that is already very misinterpreted...............

Khaire!

I'm sorry if it came off that way! Just like in my Hermes post, I like to have fun in my cult posts because they're long and can be kinda brain numbing to read without some interest (as someone with ADHD).

I didn't cover every aspect of Apollon because I try not to make these particular posts too overtly long and beginner friendly and instead focused exclusively on his cult epithets rather than his poetic ones.

But you're right, I should've reigned in some of my fun having (I tried to keep it lighthearted the way I did with my Hermes post) and I'll be much more careful about it going forward!

If necessary I'll either edit or remake the post for better clarity ♡

Thanks so much for pointing it out, safe travels!

[a-couple-of-notes]

So the interview with Jac Schaeffer on Episode 5 dropped, and honestly, even though I've still got some reservations on the episode itself, it definitely helped clarify some things. Spoilers for what she says under the cut.

The trial was real, and it was really Agatha's. I think this is the right choice; it would have felt cheap to make it all a vision. I still don't quite know why the aspect ratio didn't change--perhaps Schaeffer's still hiding something? Or maybe it was different because Agatha herself is different, separate from the main four elements?

Alice is really dead (but that's "not the end of the conversation"). This sucks, but it makes sense. Per the interview and the new midseason trailer, they are shifting the tone the way I thought they might, and Alice was the sacrifice for that. Sorry, Alice. I suspect you'll come back when they want to explore how Rio's grim reaper stuff works, and maybe at the end of the road.

They passed the trial because they fulfilled the stated goal of the trial: to punish Agatha. I don't think this was the Road's most helpful goal to get Agatha over her trauma, but I am interested in what Schaeffer says about what the punishment was: "she’s put in a situation where she kills one of her own coven members and then has to look in the faces of the rest of her coven." (emphasis mine). Agatha as a character runs from consequences; she misdirects, performs, pretends. And although the murder of her original coven was accidental and traumatic and born of abuse, Agatha does have to face that she's since hurt and killed lots of people, not all of them bad. She has to feel the weight of it now. That's an important step in the audience and Agatha herself discovering who she really is underneath it all.

Schaeffer confirms a lot of the stuff I've been thinking about: the pacing was at least partially meant to enhance the action and emotion of the characters. They're swinging into a different tone, which is why Alice has got to go. They wanted to juxtapose the coven's ability to bond (scar comparisons) with their instincts to be selfish and stab each other in the back.

On some level, there are always going to be things creators cut and then wish they didn't, interpretations that surface that the writers' room didn't account for. Schaeffer explains that they cut exposition for emotion, and that the audience for this show is really intelligent, but "I think this viewership doesn’t actually want to get into a clear rhythm."

Which, I did want a rhythm, thanks so much, but I get it. I think this episode maybe edited itself into a corner, where they're relying on the audience to do the kind of work that I'm doing right now instead of expositing clearly in-episode; and the episode was meant to break the formula, but the pace was already so blistering from the exposition cuts that it wasn't clear how much of the formula they meant to break. And without the clarity of the entire series, it felt so weird it became almost unreal.

[mariacallous]

Following the collapse, in early March, of the temporary ceasefire between Israel and Hamas, Israel essentially shut down all aid entering the Gaza Strip. The territory had already been facing a humanitarian crisis for nearly eighteen months. During that time, Israel allowed in a fluctuating, almost always insufficient number of aid trucks. The food and medicine that arrived on those trucks was then distributed by local groups across the Strip. In May, when the full blockade was partially lifted—after European leaders, and even the Trump Administration, warned of starvation—the old system of aid delivery, which was operated in part by the United Nations, was largely phased out in favor of a new organization called the Gaza Humanitarian Foundation, which was set up in coördination with Israeli authorities to deliver supplies to Gazans at just four locations.

Before the G.H.F. began its operations, the United Nations and a number of humanitarian organizations warned that the new system would lead to chaos, with people being forced to travel long distances to receive aid, potentially leading to dangerous crowds and violence. And indeed, during the last several weeks, Israeli forces have killed scores of Gazans at these sites, and injured hundreds more, as the death toll among those seeking aid from the G.H.F. has surpassed a hundred and twenty people. (Israel has acknowledged firing warning shots, as well as firing further shots at people who ignored the warnings.) The G.H.F., whose decision-making structure is opaque, has already changed its leadership and temporarily shut down operations to reëvaluate its procedures. At one point last weekend, G.H.F. said that it could no longer continue its work because of threats to its staff from Hamas. (Hamas has denied the accusation, and G.H.F. resumed operations the next day.)

I recently spoke by phone with Salma Altaweel, who lives in Gaza and works for the Norwegian Refugee Council, a humanitarian N.G.O. I wanted to get a sense of how her organization was dealing with the new aid system, and exactly what had changed on the ground since it was put in place. During our conversation, which has been edited for length and clarity, we also discussed how she talks to her daughter about the current situation, her concerns about the G.H.F., and what Gaza needs besides food and medicine.

Can you tell me what your job consists of right now and what your day is like?

Yes. I’m working as the field-office manager in the northern part of Gaza City. [Someone begins talking to her in the background.] Excuse me, it’s my daughter. Sorry. And now, since the ceasefire collapsed, we are working in hibernation mode. It’s very hard to move in Gaza City. But we are still providing support to people. We are providing drinking water to much of the population in the central part of the city. And we are providing clothes, through e-vouchers, to hundreds of families. There is not enough cash for people to buy merchandise, so we have been giving out vouchers to families in need. We make arrangements with certain venders, and then beneficiaries will receive a code that they can use to redeem clothes. We also have some learning spaces that provide informal education to kids. Also, we have a legal section that is providing some legal support and offering consultations.

How is drinking water accessed?

There are still some plants here in Gaza City that are working to provide drinking water. Trucks are moving around, travelling to shelters and providing water to people inside, and outside, too. We are covering a good number of people. And there are some other N.G.O.s doing this. All of them are collaborating with each other to try to cover most of Gaza.

I know that even before the blockade began in early March, there was never enough aid reaching the people of Gaza. But there was some aid. Can you talk about how aid reached Gazans under that system?

Before the collapse of the ceasefire, U.N. agencies and international N.G.O.s were working to try to coördinate aid. Not all items were allowed to enter Gaza, but as you mentioned there were some items that were entering. Trucks would cross the border, and the aid would enter the warehouses of the U.N. agencies and the N.G.O.s. After that, each local organization had its identification criteria to provide aid to people. The people were receiving text messages so they could come and collect it from the warehouse of the U.N. agency or the N.G.O. with dignity, and without a crowd. Also, aid would arrive to different neighborhoods, and people were not forced to move long distances or go to an insecure place to collect food, or shelter items, or hygiene kits, or whatever they were allowed to take. The quantities were not enough to cover people all the time, but at least there was some food that was entering. The bakeries were also functioning at some points—not all the time, but sometimes there was bread.

Then, in March, Israel announced that there would be a total cutoff in aid. How quickly did things change?

Many of the bakeries remained functioning for one month after March, but they closed by early April, and starting at that time most of the stock from the markets was empty. So by May we faced real starvation. People were not eating for days because there were not any items entering. They have resumed allowing some items, but not enough.

After this new aid system started, the one with the Gaza Humanitarian Foundation, what did your organization do? And what’s been happening more broadly? The stories we read in the United States are that people have to travel to this small number of sites to get food, and it’s obviously been very chaotic. The Israeli military has shot people. How is your organization trying to operate within this new system, and how do you feel the new system is or isn’t working?

Let me just say that, for the last few weeks, relocation orders have been issued and are covering most of Gaza. The N.R.C. specializes in providing shelter, and people are being forced to relocate to other places without taking their shelter items with them. In most cases, people are forced to flee only with what they can carry. Often, people are only given a few minutes’s notice to leave. So they are in high need of items such as tents, bedding sets, and clothes. They are moving without any of those items because they aren’t able to. And they are finding themselves out in the street without anything. We are trying to provide them support, but unfortunately shelter items are not coming through—until now, Israel was only allowing some specific items, like food and medicine. The U.N. is trying to push to get approval for shelter items, but we are not able to provide support to people who are in the streets sleeping without shelters.

So, just to be clear, the people relocating are relocating because the Israeli military is giving them orders to relocate, not because they are relocating to get food?

Yes, they are getting relocation orders because of military operations.

What are you and your organization telling people in terms of getting aid, and getting food? Are you providing them directions to get to the nearest facility where they are handing out food?

No, we are not giving them any directions like this. We are trying to do our best to support them, but we cannot give them direction to go to these areas. They are so risky. They’re killing people on a daily basis in those areas. There is no humanity in these areas. Humanitarian principles are not being applied. So we are not guiding anyone to go there.

So, for obvious reasons, because of the way the aid is being handed out and because people are getting killed at these distribution sites, you’re not telling people to try and approach the sites in any way?

That’s right.

So what advice are you giving people? I’m sure you must get asked by Gazans, “What should we do?”

Yes. We cannot give people advice to go to these sites. I can tell you that most people are not going. Many of the people who go are looters who are accessing those very risky areas to get items and sell them in the market at very high prices. This is what I can see on the ground.

And I assume there’s been no coördination between the Gaza Humanitarian Foundation and groups on the ground like yours?

No. No.

A few weeks ago, we were hearing very serious warnings about starvation. Has any of the aid that’s come in during the past few weeks been circulating on the ground and at least made the situation a little bit better? Or is it the same situation in terms of lack of food and medicine that we were seeing a few weeks ago?

I think a very limited quantity entered through U.N. agencies. And some of that was looted. [On Saturday, Israeli authorities said that about fifty aid trucks per day had entered the territory during the prior week. According to an Israeli official who spoke to The New Yorker, that includes aid delivered to the four G.H.F. facilities and aid brought in by other humanitarian organizations, who say that at least five hundred trucks per day are needed.] Because of all the starvation, the situation is not stable. Some people end up looting the aid. It was difficult to open enough bakeries when flour was looted. So, not enough of the aid is distributed. Some of the trucks have brought things that are not aid. This is on the commercial side. They are not essential items. They are like chocolate, cigarettes. Not flour.

Israel has allowed trucks with cigarettes to come into Gaza?

Yes, yes.

Is there a stated reason for this?

I don’t know. [When asked about chocolate and cigarettes entering Gaza, the Israeli official said, “I don’t know what you mean.” He later called back and said, “Commercial trucks have not entered the Gaza Strip.”]

So I guess your hope is that Israel starts allowing more trucks of humanitarian aid in, because the Gaza Humanitarian Foundation method seems to be failing?

Yes. We are hoping that they open things up, like they did under the previous system, and not only for food. Yes, we are in need of food, but also shelter items. They are not letting fuel enter. The hospitals are in need of fuel. So we have a real need to go back to the previous method.

If you feel comfortable, can you talk to me a little bit about how you personally are dealing with this? Your daughter said something a few minutes ago.

Yes, we are now facing a challenging time. For me personally, I try to push the mealtime as late as I can, so at least they are not sleeping while they are hungry. [Altaweel has three other children.] So I try to push the mealtime. You can only prepare one meal per day. A meal for a family can cost a hundred dollars. So most families are not able to prepare more than one per day. And people are not having meals every day—maybe for some it is every two to three days. They are not eating anything. There is no flour in the market. We are depending on other seeds like lentils and rice, and they all have very high prices. It’s very hard. My daughter, she is always telling me, “I want sweets. I want something sweet to eat.” But there’s no sugar. I can’t prepare much.

How old is your daughter?

She is seven.

What do you tell a seven-year-old about this? How do you explain the situation? How do you talk to her about it?

Sometimes she asks questions that I cannot answer. Sometimes she’s asking me, mostly when there are air strikes around us, “Why are they doing that with us, why they are killing us?” It’s very hard to answer the questions, and mostly I try to say, “Be patient, Inshallah, hopefully the situation will be better soon.” We are praying to God that food will enter. But she asks: why they bombed our house, what we did to them, why I lost all of my toys and all my clothes. Sometimes she’s crying, and sometimes she cries while she sleeps, because she has lost everything. But it’s hard to answer these questions for her.

What does your daughter do while you’re working? What do other kids do while their parents are working?

There are no schools. They’re spending their day at home, doing nothing. Maybe they’re playing with their peers in the same building, but that’s it. But they are feeling very bad, because there is nothing from their previous life that they can do.

When you think back to the way that aid was being delivered in the previous system, was the major problem that there wasn’t enough getting through? Or was the major problem that it couldn’t be distributed as you wanted it to because it was a war zone?

If we return to the previous system, it’ll be better in terms of food. But the problem is that all of the Gaza Strip is destroyed and it needs to be rebuilt and reconstructed, and if it isn’t things won’t be better. They were only allowing food and some lifesaving items to enter, but they were not allowing any other items for the reconstruction or rebuilding of our schools. There weren’t school items, or teaching items. So if we return to the old system, it’ll not be enough for us, because we are aiming to rebuild Gaza, and to live on streets without rubble. They also were not allowing heavy machines in to remove the rubble.

And yet, as you said a few minutes ago, the old system would be a huge improvement on what’s happening now.

It would be an improvement, but it would not be enough. 

[senjutsunade]

~Envy~

Note: @idreamofdango - here you go! Sorry the editing took so long.

Tsunade’s gaze drifted lazily from the stacks of paperwork she had long since resigned herself to ignoring, settling instead on the whirlwind of motion pacing before her desk. Anko was deep in yet another impassioned monologue—this time about some new variety of dango that had apparently been an offense to her very existence.

The Hokage exhaled slowly, fingers tapping absently against the armrest of her chair. Why, exactly, this particular tragedy needed to be relayed to her remained a mystery. But given the alternative—drowning in the endless sea of documents that had buried her desk since the day she took office—Tsunade supposed there were worse fates than enduring the dramatic ramblings of a crazed Tokubetsu Jōnin.

A sudden silence pulled her attention upward.

She found herself staring into deep brown eyes, so dark they nearly bled into violet under the dim office lighting. That color had a way of unsettling her, striking something deep and primal in her chest, something she loathed acknowledging.

Anko’s glare was pointed, her arms crossed in clear irritation at the lack of engagement.

Tsunade forced herself to smirk, feigning nonchalance as she gave a single nod.

The younger woman huffed, rolling her eyes before launching right back into her rant.

“…A complete waste of my money! Can you believe the nerve? Charging that much for garbage? I swear—”

Tsunade barely heard the rest.

Her attention had already drifted, her amusement fading into something heavier, something that settled like lead in her stomach.

She had seen those eyes before.

Not on Anko.

Not on anyone living.

They belonged to ghosts, to the ones who had never made it back, to the ones she had held in her arms as their light faded.

Whoever claimed that eyes were the windows to the soul had no idea how painfully right—and dreadfully wrong—they were. Because staring into Anko’s, all Tsunade could see were the dead.

She remembered the first time she had laid eyes on Mitarashi Anko—remembered, with startling clarity, the first and only time she had ever felt jealousy toward another kunoichi.

She hadn’t cared that the girl was just a child. Hadn’t cared how petty the emotion was. All that mattered in that moment was that Anko was taking something—someone—that belonged to her.

Tsunade’s fingers curled into fists as she glared at her pale-haired teammate, disbelief and frustration warring within her.

“What do you mean you’ve taken on an apprentice?” she snapped, voice sharp with accusation.

She was already losing too much. First Jiraiya, with his idiotic decision to stay in Ame and play babysitter to a group of war orphans. And now Orochimaru? Her last tether to familiarity, to stability, was being pulled away from her, slipping through her grasp like sand.

Behind him stood a small figure, her posture straight, rigid with attention. Big, inquisitive eyes locked onto her new sensei with a quiet, worshipful reverence that made Tsunade’s stomach twist.

Orochimaru didn’t so much as flinch under her glare. If anything, his lips quirked into that insufferable smirk that always meant he was enjoying himself far too much at her expense.

“Sarutobi-sensei thought it would be a good idea,” he mused, his voice calm, detached. “Besides, young Anko here is quite the exceptional little kunoichi.”

The way he said it—so damn smug—made something burn in her chest.

“Now now, hime,” he added, his tone turning light, mocking, “no need to be jealous. I’m sure you’ll be assigned your own students soon enough—once you learn to control that temper of yours.”

He was laughing before he even turned away, motioning for the girl to follow.

And she did.

Without hesitation.

Tsunade remained rooted in place, the training ground stretching empty before her, the ghost of Orochimaru’s amusement lingering in the air.

Her hands trembled at her sides.

Shaking in rage.

She had seen the girl many times after that day, always trailing after Orochimaru like a devoted shadow. Wide, pale-brown eyes brimming with laughter, with wit, with a confidence that made Tsunade's stomach turn. That same foul taste always rose in her throat whenever she saw them together, an unfamiliar bitterness curling in the pit of her gut.

Because this girl—this mere child—had done what no one else had ever managed.

She had made Senju Tsunade envious.

At first, she told herself it was nothing. That she didn’t care. But as the months passed, and those happy, adoring eyes continued to haunt her periphery, that bitterness only deepened.

Then, one day, those eyes changed.

The shock of loss had made Tsunade numb. Dan’s death was still fresh, his blood still staining the inside of her mind, and she had nothing left in her to react when the Sandaime sat before her, his mouth forming words she barely processed.

Orochimaru. Traitor.

She just stared at the aged Hokage, empty and unblinking, as he spoke.

She wasn’t sure she could feel anything anymore.

Not until the office doors burst open.

The sharp tang of iron struck first, thick and cloying, as ANBU carried in a limp, blood-soaked body.

Familiar.

“…found in one of the labs…”

“…traitor…”

“…needs medical attention…”

She barely heard them.

Because all she could see were those eyes.

Dead. Hollow. Lifeless.

The same eyes that had once gleamed with sharp, knowing mirth. Eyes that had once mocked her with their brightness, their joy.

Now they stared at her, empty, void of everything that had once made them burn.

The eyes of death itself.

The same lifeless void that had haunted her for years.

The same emptiness that had stared back at her in her nightmares—Nawaki’s, wide and unblinking in the rain.

Dan’s, frozen in time as the light left them.

Tsunade stepped back.

No one knew she had been within Konoha’s walls that night. Summoned back in the wake of Orochimaru’s betrayal.

No one knew she had fled before dawn broke.

No one knew she had taken those eyes with her, carrying the weight of a third pair of ghosts that would keep her awake for months to come.

And soon enough, she had learned how to drown them out.

Sake became her salvation, her escape, her means of silencing the ghosts that whispered to her in the dark.

By the time she lost herself at the bottom of a bottle, she was already in debt to half of Hi no Kuni.

On her return, she'd not been ready for quite a lot.

But the one thing she was most definitely not prepared for was this.

For the ghost of the child she had abandoned, now standing before her on her first official day as Hokage.

Not for the face-splitting grin—sharp, teasing, taunting.

And certainly not for those eyes.

They were still the same. Still empty, still lifeless, still laying bare all of Tsunade’s failures for the world to see. A hollow reflection of everything she had tried to drink away, now staring her down in broad daylight.

Her breath caught.

Guilt churned in her stomach, twining with a sharp, unbidden terror, clawing its way up her throat. Perhaps that was why the young woman’s expression softened. A flicker of something less cruel, something less dead passing through those pale-brown depths.

Perhaps it was pity.

Tsunade didn’t care.

Didn’t question it.

She was just relieved—painfully, achingly relieved—to see something there at all.

“Hokage-sama?”

Tsunade never did understand how it happened.

She doubted she ever would.

Somewhere along the way, their roles had shifted. The venomous resentment, the bitterness of years past, had faded into something else entirely.

Because if she had to name the one shinobi she trusted beyond all others—the one who would never falter, never waver—she wouldn’t have to think twice.

The snake mistress would always be one of the first few names on her lips.

"Will you please listen—"

Perhaps it was the shared understanding of loss, the unspoken recognition between two people who had seen everything they loved torn away.

Perhaps it was the betrayal.

"Will you listen, already?"

A voice cut sharply through the fog of memory, yanking Tsunade back to the present. She blinked, disoriented, only to find herself staring into a face much too close for comfort.

"Personal space, Mitarashi!" she huffed, one hand shoving the grinning menace away before settling into an all-too-familiar twitch of her eye.

That smirk. Damn that smirk.

"Whatcha dreaming about?" Anko chirped, as if she hadn’t just slammed Tsunade straight into the past.

How did she do that? The sheer whiplash—the impossible shift from one extreme to another—should not be possible. It defied all logic.

"None of your business, Anko," she muttered.

Mistake.

Tsunade knew it the moment the words left her lips. She might as well have drawn a target on her forehead and handed Anko a kunai.

Predictably, the younger woman took the opening with a victorious gleam in her eye, planting herself on the disaster zone Tsunade still begrudgingly called a desk, making herself right at home.

“Would those thoughts, by chance, revolve around a white haired Perv?” Tsunade wondered if she could develop a permanent eye twitch if this subject wasn’t dropped sometime soon, as she gritted her teeth, forcing out a tense “No!”

[1nkwe4ver]

Severance Spoilers

I see some people pointing out how strange Outie Burt’s retirement video is, considering he claims he was fired, and people are theorizing Lumon is using him to get to Irving.

I hate to admit that I believe it’s possible, but I’m hanging on to the fact I don’t think it’s likely! My thought process-

-If Burt retired willingly and that was the Truth, why would he be looking to help Lumon catch Irving at something at all? Like, I see wanting his job back if he was fired and he and Fields needed the money, but if our basis for suspicion is that he genuinely seemed to be retiring, based on that video, then it seems out of character for him to just, happily do the dirty work of his old company, unless Outie Burt is just Helena levels of nurtured into worshipping Kier on the outside.

-I distinctly remember the impression, when Burt “retired” in season 1, that the whole thing was Burt getting fired. Irving knew it, going off after watching the video about Lumon killing Burt off, and I believe the viewer was supposed to know it. At the time, I assumed they’d simply told Outie Burt they needed to make some cuts at the company and he could willingly go with some compensation or be fired or something. I thought they’d gotten the retirement video out of him out of a mixture of perhaps some contract he’d signed when he first signed up, stating such a thing would always be required if Lumon asked it of him, and/or I simply thought Milchik had pulled the whole “we’re sorry we can’t keep you, but your coworkers on the severed floor love your Innie and it would very much help moral if you made a video to be played at a retirement party, saying goodbye to them all.” And Burt was just the kinda guy to go along with it. This revelation in my head fit with that- Burt had been fired, much less gracefully than I imagined even, but he still did the video because he has some awareness that the Innies all have a life there that he doesn’t want to disturb. Or because legally he had to and he didn’t want to be an asshole during it.

-Also, just, why would Lumon pick him? This episode confirmed that their Outies did not know each other, and only have some reason to connect here cause Innie Irving basically dropped his Outie on Burt’s doorstep on the season 1 finale. Severance, the way we know it, has no real bleed over feelings-wise without reintegration. Mark received weird therapy from his dead wife and didn’t even flinch. He was making googly eyes at Helly with Gemma in the room hours after he was probably sobbing in his car with grief over Gemma. So why would Lumon expect Outie Burt to have some special sway over Outie Irving?

Edit: For clarity, I know that to some extent, Innie Mark does feel Outie Mark’s grief. As Petey says, he just “doesn’t know what it is.” That’s not the kind of bleed over I mean.

I think of a sims 4 mod I like, for emotional inertia. In that, once a sim is in a new emotion, it adds an emotional inertia moodlet for a significant amount of time, that way the emotion is a bigger, more realistic deal. There may be moodlets/reasons going on in the sims head to feel a whole bunch of things, but the inertia moodlet makes it where they’re more likely to be feeling an emotion just because they were already feeling it. This stops the sims emotions from seeming chaotic and unstable as most moodlets run out in about 4 hours, or deeply unbalanced like the handful that last for days. There are other factors(Happy and Uncomfortable do not have inertia, Uncomfortable adds to dominant negative emotions like Happy adds to dominant positive emotions, certain emotions and activities drain or prolong moodlets of certain types, moodlets from emotional traits will randomly have values from 1-3), but basically your sim is probably gonna feel that initial emotion until at least the triggering moodlet runs out, and then probably the strongest inertia moodlet. If the mood is negative and you’re trying to get them out of it, well, even if you make them their favorite breakfast, a hothead who woke up on the wrong side of their cheap bed will probably stay pissy for at least 2-4 hours (if you really work on draining those initial moodlets), then with effort may be manageable but still difficult for another 4 hours (8 hours from getting into the mood).

So let’s apply that mentality to Mark.

Say as an Outie, he has +5 Sad(from being a Widower), +1 Sad(from sitting around thinking about her), +2 angry(from Anger mourning), +3 Sad (FromEmotional Inertia)

That puts Outie Mark at +9 Very Sad, Sobbing in his car

Once he got in the elevator, and switches to Innie memories, he loses all of that context but still has +3 Sad from emotional inertia to deal with. Now this is much less intense, and it may be quickly drowned out, depending on what’s happening in the office,

[fantasy-anatomy-analyst]

What advantages do you think that three simple eyes would bring for a humanoid cat-like creature over having two eyes?

well, let's first define what a simple eye is!

(image description: diagram comparing four different types of eyes. the first only has a flat lens and neural retina. the second has a lens pit and optic cup. the third has a flat cornea, a small round lens, and a curved retina. the final eye has a curved cornea, larger round lens, and a curved retina with the optic nerve in the middle. end description.)

I'm taking this diagram from this article on eyes.

complex eyes like what most mammals have are great because they focus better and create more visual clarity, especially with the addition of color cones! less color cones and more rods to detect light is better for night vision but does not produce as clear an image as an eye with color cones alongside the rods.

and if by "simple eye" you mean one of the two eye types on the top of this diagram, then i'm sorry to say that there is no number of them that you can add to be more advantageous for a cat-like humanoid over the complex eyes cats and humans already have. you could add them while also keeping the complex eyes! there are some amphibians like that, such as giant salamanders. the only thing simple eyes actually do is detect light. they're not good at creating a full image of any sort. your cat humanoid with simple eyes instead of complex eyes will be functionally blind compared to a cat humanoid with complex eyes. if their lifestyle revolves around mostly reacting to changes in light and shadow to inform them of food and predators nearby alongside their sense of smell, taste, and hearing, they will probably be able to live just fine and fill their own needs, but there really are no extra advantages in replacing the complex eyes with simple eyes.

if they have simple eyes on top of their head and complex eyes in the normal location, they will be able to react to changes of light overhead a little faster than someone without the bonus simple eyes. (also known as ocelli by the way) and that is about the only advantage i can think of.

EDIT: actually here is another article about the evolution of eyes, it might also be helpful

[andreafmn]

Running in Circles | Chapter 9

Word Count: 3.6K

Summary: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss, and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

A/N: can't believe it's been over a year since I updated this story. It was one of the first I ever posted but quickly got disheartened by it as I tried to follow the show's timeline (which is non-existent, honestly). I'm trying to get through season 6 as fast as I can because I've already written chapters for afterward, but I need to tie it into the show. Honestly considered putting the story on hold but I got the chapter done 😊😊 Also need to go back and edit this story, especially regarding the POV

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As if by divine intervention, (Y/N)’s phone started ringing. The vibrations matched the fluttering of her heart as she prayed that Hotch could have been thinking about her at that moment as well. Maybe then she could trick herself into believing that fate was playing its cards right.

“Hey, baby girl.”

“Derek,” she sighed quietly, trying her best not to voice her disappointment. “What’s up? Everything okay?”

“You mind some company for tonight? I got a bottle of whiskey with our names on it.”

“Know what? After the day we just had, sure.” She looked down at the pan of lasagna and decided if she couldn’t enjoy it with Hotch, she’d enjoy it with a friend. “I’ve got some lasagna going in the oven we can eat.”

“Sounds perfect. I’ll see you in about fifteen minutes.”

After the phone clicked, she decided the most prudent thing would be to send Hotchner a text message thanking him for the food and saying she’d update him on everything tomorrow. After everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours, she needed a moment of calm and clarity. A moment with certainty rather than mixed signals and stolen glances. She just needed a moment to breathe.

As any evidence of the day shed from her skin in the shower, a loud knock rang through the house. She quickly stepped out of her bathroom and slipped on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie before she ran down the stairs to be met with Derek already inside the kitchen, digging a fork into the piping hot lasagna, with Spencer staring at our friend as he ate like a maniac.

“You know, if you let it cool down a bit, you can savor the taste,” Reid chuckled.

“I know,” he spoke with a full mouth. “But I wanna get drunk tonight, and I won’t do it on an empty stomach.”

“There’s some garlic bread in the toaster oven if you need something that will soak up the alcohol,” (Y/N) laughed as her two friends came into view in her kitchen. “And it’s good to see you’re putting those emergency keys to good use.”

“Sorry, (Y/N),” Spencer responded quickly. “Derek said you wouldn’t mind. We waited five minutes outside.”

“It’s fine, Reid. But you could’ve checked who was at the door.”

“Well, I didn’t want to overstep,” he shrugged. “It’s not my house after all.”

“Good to know you have boundaries, Reid,” she chuckled. “Not that they stopped either of you from letting yourselves in.”

Derek only grumbled in response, too focused on serving the plates and stuffing his mouth. (Y/N) headed to the front door, unsure of who else could have decided to drop by. And though a part of her wanted it to be Hotchner, she knew better than to live in that delusion. He was back in his home with his son, while she had a house full of friends and him on her mind.

“‘Em,” the woman smiled as she opened the door. “Derek invite you too?”

“As a matter of fact, he did. But I’m guessing he didn’t tell you I was coming over.”

“I’m just glad you didn’t use your emergency key as freely as those two boys.”

“Well, you did say we should feel at home,” Morgan grinned. “I’m just doing what you told me to.”

“First time you follow the rules, Morgan,” Emily teased. “Although I’d rather you guys break into (Y/N)’s house than mine.”

“Geez, thanks, Em,” she chuckled. “You’re lucky there’s enough food and booze to go around. But don’t go too crazy. We still have work tomorrow.”

“As if you’d ever let us go hungry,” Emily laughed. “Your Italian blood would never let you.”

“All I need to know is if there’s anyone else that will show up out of the blue.”

“Not that I know of,” Derek shrugged. “Now open up that bottle, I’m thirsty.”

By the time midnight rolled around, Emily and Derek had gone back home. They had eaten enough and drank enough the exhaustion was making their eyelids flutter. And all of them knew that the longer they stayed, the harder it would be to make it back to their homes. Only Spencer was left, curled up on the sofa, still nursing the same glass of whiskey from the start of the night. His eyes were squeezed shut, a hand over them blocking the overhead light.

“You okay, Spence?” (Y/N) asked as she sat by his head, resting it gently onto her lap. She ran her fingers through his curls, massaging his scalp softly. “You got a migraine?”

“Something like that,” he sighed. “They’ve been going on for a bit, but lately, they’ve been worse. The pain is unbelievable, and it makes me sensitive to everything around me.”

“Have you gone to a doctor? This could be something serious, Spence,” she worried. “I have a friend that might be able to squeeze you in. She’s a neurologist and…”

“I’ve got it handled, (Y/N),” he chuckled softly. “I made an appointment for later in the week. I just have to power through the remaining days with sunglasses and pills.”

As soon as he mentioned the pain, a question popped into (Y/N)’s head that she did not want to ask. It was composed of words that could only bring back horrors from his past and the mistakes he was still paying for to that day. The last thing she wanted was to resurface that horrible period, but she had to know. For his sake, she just had to.

“I haven’t taken Dilaudid,” he said before she could speak. “It hasn’t even crossed my mind.”

“How did you…?”

“You were thinking too loud,” he responded as he grinned slightly, his eyes still closed. “And you’re the only one that still asks.”

“I’m sorry, Spence. I don’t mean to be so pushy, she sighed as she stared at the way her fingers ran through the brown of his hair. “If you don’t want time to ask, just…”

“No. I’m grateful that you do.” His free hand searched for hers, squeezing it softly as he enjoyed the warmth of her skin. “I sometimes feel that the team goes out of their way to pretend that part of my life didn’t happen or that it could never happen again. But it did, and it could. Still, I know I can always count on you to look after me, (Y/N). Even if I’m a couple of years older than you, you always find a way to take care of me.”

“And I always will, Reid. You’re a part of my family, and I take care of my family,” she responded softly. “Do you wanna stay here tonight? If it’s too bad, I don’t want you driving out there in the dark.”

“Honestly? Yeah,” Spencer breathed. “I don’t think I could make it home right now.”

“Alright, then. Why don’t you head on up and take a shower while I prepare you some tea and get you a cold compress for your head?” (Y/N) instructed. “You can take any of the sweats from the guest room, and I’ll fetch you some migraine pills so you can hopefully get some shut-eye tonight.”

“Thanks, Rossi,” the man smiled, finally allowing his eyes to open, finding that she had dimmed all the lights. “Don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“And you’ll never have to find out,” she smiled. “Now, go on upstairs, and I’ll get started on the tea.”

“Fine,” he jokingly whined. “And can you not tell anyone else? I don’t want them worrying about me.”

“I won’t. Just, please keep me updated.”

“Copy that.”

As he disappeared to the second floor, (Y/N) couldn’t help but worry about her friend. Spencer had gone through things that were unimaginable. And though he came out of them with his life, they had slowly started to eat away at him. She knew firsthand just how debilitating anxiety could be to someone’s body, and it concerned her that he was downplaying his symptoms.

She set her kettle to boil as she searched for her own mixture of sleepy-time tea—chamomile, lemongrass, peppermint, and lavender. From her cupboard, she pulled out the purple and blue mug Spencer had always used since he had claimed it was able to keep his tea warm enough to sip slowly. Because apparently it had always been a big concern of his. After placing the tea infuser into the mug, she drizzled a few circles of honey to the bottom and a sprinkle of cinnamon. And once the kettle beeped, she drowned the leaves and the honey in boiling water.

(Y/N) could hear the shower running upstairs as she let the tea seep into the water, and all she could do was worry. Granted, it was something she did every single day of her life. She worried about her father spending all his time in books and his work and not enough on his personal life. She worried about little Jack having to grow up without his mother and a dad who didn’t quite believe he could do a good job as a father. She worried about Hotch, about what he did or didn’t feel. She worried about the team every time they went out on a case. And most importantly, she worried about herself and how she would ever live up to the people around her. Now, she added Spencer’s migraines to the list. If she ever made it to old age without a heart attack, she would have been very surprised.

Walking up the stairs with the mug and the pills, her phone vibrated in her pocket. She balanced the mug on the flat handrail and pulled out the device to see Hotchner’s name lighting up the screen. Her heart hammered against her chest, making her hands tremble with nerves. It was just a phone call., she told herself. He was probably only calling to thank her again.

“Hotch,” she breathed, her voice croaking more than she intended. “Hey.”

“Sorry. Did I wake you?”

“No!” she answered quickly. “I was just heading up the stairs. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, you don’t need to worry,” he assured. “It’s just that Jack wanted to say goodnight and thank you.”

“Isn’t it a bit late for him to be up?” (Y/N) smiled. “I mean, it is still a school night.”

“I caved,” Hotch chuckled. She could hear the exhaustion still present in his voice, and all she wanted to do was help him. It was all she could do. To him, she’d always be just a friend, a coworker, his colleague’s daughter. “Please don’t hold it against me.”

“I could never,” the woman laughed. “I would have probably caved too.”

“Well, then, I’ll put you on.”

(Y/N) heard scuffling from the receiver before Jack’s voice came through. “Hi, (Y/N),” he said. “I wanted to say goodnight since we couldn’t say goodbye to you. I had a lot of fun this weekend.”

“Aw, buddy, I’m glad,” she cooed. “I loved having you over. You know you’re welcome any time.”

“Thank you, (Y/N)!” he beamed. “But I gotta go to bed now. I have school tomorrow. So, goodnight!”

“Good night, Jack,” she responded. “Now, why don’t you pass the phone back to your dad.”

“Alright. Bye bye!”

“Bye, Jack,” she chuckled. “I think that kid should be heading off to bed now, Hotch.”

“He is,” Hotchner answered. “I knew he’d want to after saying good night to you. I think my son likes you more than he likes me.”

“Oh, that’s nonsense, Hotch. He only likes that I’m all fun. But he loves you. Don’t ever doubt that.”

“Thanks, (Y/N),” he chuckled softly. “I’ve been saying that a lot lately.”

“Even when you don’t have to,” the woman sighed contentedly. “Now, go on. You have to sleep too. It’s not just Jack that is up past his bedtime.”

“Very funny, (Y/N). Good night.”

“Night, Hotch.”

(Y/N)’s chest wrenched as her heart accelerated, already wishing the days before could repeat themselves so she could wake and know that he was there. But there was no point in deluding herself. The man could not and would not ever see her as anything more than what she already was. Even their job would allow it. Nothing seemed to ever align for something between them to work.

She turned to the left once she reached the top of the stairs and headed to the guest room to leave the steaming mug for Spencer to find after his shower but found him already sitting on the bed drying his hair. “Was that Hotch on the phone?” She nodded in response. “You didn’t tell him about what’s going on with me, right?”

“Of course not, Spence,” she said in a low tone as she set the mug on the nightstand. “It’s not my information to divulge. Unless it becomes life-threatening, I won’t say a thing without your permission.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” she smiled, handing him the pills. “Anything.”

“What do you think these migraines could be?” The pain behind his eyes was more than visible, it was almost palpable. “I just… what if it’s something serious, (Y/N)?”

“Serious like what, Spence?”

“What if I’m starting to lose my mind?” His voice was frail, trembling at the terrifying thought. “You know, my mom…”

“Don’t go there, Spencer. You can’t go there,” the woman insisted. “We won’t speculate until you have an answer from the doctor. So, I’m begging you, don’t go there.”

“I can’t help it, (Y/N). Either there’s something seriously physically wrong with me, or it’s all psychosomatic. Neither is a good option.”

“I know, Spence. I know. But let’s just not jump to conclusions yet. Not until you’ve gone to the doctor, and we get some type of answer. Until then, I don’t want you to think of the worst-case scenario. It’s not gonna do you any good.”

“Fine,” he sighed as his shoulders slumped forward. “Can I ask you something else? Something that is so off-topic you’ll get whiplash.”

“Go ahead, Reid,” she chuckled softly.

“Do you still have feelings for Hotch?”

The question as innocent, no ill-will behind it. But it still made (Y/N)’s breath hitch in her throat. It had been a long time since any of the people they knew mentioned her less-than-secret infatuation with the unit chief, and it made her heart race like the first time he had confronted her about it. “Yeah,” she muttered. “It’s not something that’s going away any time soon.”

“Have you ever thought of dating someone else? It might help you get over him.”

“I might not be ready for that just yet,” she sighed. “I just can’t seem to stop holding onto hope.”

“I understand. Love… it’s hard, huh?”

“It’s one thing we can’t learn from all the books we read,” she smiled sadly. “But that’s enough talk. The pills should start to work soon, and you need to sleep.”

“Thanks, (Y/N),” he smiled as he got under the covers. “Thank you for caring.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that, Spence. Again, you’re family,” she grinned. “I’ll see you in the morning, alright?”

“Yeah. Good night.”

“Good night, Reid.”

The rest of the night, Spencer’s words floated in her head. She could open her dating pool and allow herself a little venture. Hotch wasn’t waiting for her, nor had he shown a smidge of real interest in her. Holding onto him only hurt her in the long run, making it harder for anyone else who wanted to take the place he did not want. But she couldn’t. Not now. Not just yet.

After a couple of days and a two-night case all the way in Miami, Spencer asked (Y/N) to accompany him to the doctor for the reading of his test results. He was jumpier than usual, his legs bouncing at a rapid speed as they waited for his name to be called. He figured with his fingers, picking at the skin on the corners until she placed her hand on top.

“You won’t have any skin left for our next case,” she chuckled. “Don’t start jumping to conclusions, Mr. Genius.”

“I can’t help it,” he worried. “It’s all I can do. I can’t just shut off my brain.”

“Then, tell me something. Something I might not know.”

“Easier said than done,” he snorted. “You know almost as much as I do.”

“Ah, you said almost as much. So, you believe there are things that you know that I don’t.”

“Okay,” he chuckled. “Did you know that rubber bands last longer if they’re kept in the fridge? The unusual, lightly cross-linked polymer structure of the rubber used to create them react to the cold differently to what people might expect…”

“Right, the chains heat up when stretched, technically shortening them causing the rubber to contract and eventually snapping at the exothermic change,” she mused. “Cooling them would allow for a bigger stretch and life longevity because the release of energy is slower. Nice fact.”

“See, it’s not as fun with you,” he said with a soft chuckle. “The team would have been asking why I would care about rubber bands. You? You go into a simple explanation of thermodynamics.”

“Well, I ask you for a fun fact. I never said I wouldn’t analyze it.”

As Spencer was about to retort, a nurse came out to call his name, telling him the doctor would see him. He got up onto his feet, smoothing down his pants and taking a steadying breath. But he didn’t seem to do more.

“Do you want me to go with you?” (Y/N) quickly offered.

She was met with a soft smile and a gentle nod before they both headed into the office where Spencer’s worst-case scenario unfolded. The doctor told him there was nothing he could see that was physically wrong with him, the scans and the lab work all came back negative. If there was something happening, it was most likely in his head.

Those were the news Spencer did not want. They terrified him, and he let the doctor know. In his own way. “It’s not—I’m not crazy.”

“Crazy? Dr. Reid, I’m not saying…”

“I have headaches. I have intense sensitivity to light. Because there’s something wrong with me,” he asserted, his words spilling out faster than he could hold them. “Physically, not mentally. It’s not that.”

“That?”

“Listen, doctor, my mother’s a paranoid schizophrenic who’s been institutionalized. So I know very well what mental illness looks like,” Spencer continued. “Maybe even better than you, and it’s not that. It’s not.”

“Reid,” (Y/N) called as the man got up from the exam table and left the doctor with a shocked expression on his face. “I am so sorry, doctor. This topic is just… it’s a little hard for him.”

“There’s not much you can do to help someone who doesn’t want to accept their reality,” the doctor sighed softly. “Can you just see that he finds a way to manage his stress and his emotions? I truly believe this might be one of the biggest reasons for these headaches.”

“I’ll try my best, doctor,” (Y/N) smiled. “Thank you for seeing him.”

“No problem.”

She found Spencer waiting for her in the hall, his sunglasses on his eyes and his arms crossed in front of his chest. They remained in silence until they reached her car, the doctor’s pout evident on his face. She knew he was annoyed she had apologized for his behavior, but she couldn’t leave without at least giving a reason for his outburst.

“It’s not psychosomatic,” he stated. “It just can’t be.”

“Spence, we have one of the most stressful jobs on the planet. Day in and day out we see cases that astound even the most seasoned officers. And we get into the minds of the people that commit these atrocities,” she offered. “Don’t you think there is a possibility that these migraines are your body’s way of telling you that you need to balance yourself out?”

“If it was really the job like you say, all of us would be getting these headaches,” he said angrily. “But I don’t see Morgan or Prentiss doubling over because their brain feels like it wants to escape their skull.”

“Everyone is different, Spence. And I know you don’t need me to tell you this. Stress presents itself differently in everyone. Just because we don’t know how they handle their burdens doesn’t mean they don’t have them,” (Y/N) continued, maintaining the same calm tone as she cooled him down. “All I am saying, Reid, is that it might be psychosomatic, and you need to find new ways to handle your stress because I am certain this is not you going crazy. Or it might be something else, and you’ll need to get a second opinion. But regardless of what the outcome is, you can’t just get angry at your doctor because you don’t like your results, and I’ll be with you every step of the way. We’ll find you a way through this, okay?”

His stance finally softened at her words. His arms fell to his sides, and a soft smile tugged at his lips. “I was kind of an ass back there,” he chuckled. “It’s just frustrating and terrifying all the same time, and I don’t know how to process it all.”

“We take it one day at a time, Reid,” she smiled, taking a hand of his in hers. “You’re not alone in this.”

“It’s sometimes hard to remember that you’re you get than me,” he snickered. “I’m pretty sure you’ve babied everyone on the team at some point.”

“What can I say?” she laughed. “I just wanna make sure every single one of you is okay.”

And that was one thing she knew she would do for as long as they would let her. For now, her main concern was Spencer’s well-being. And she was grateful that it was enough to keep Hotchner out of her head.

Next ->

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[fayrinferno]

The Escaflowne Movie CD Dramas

Time to share some thoughts about the CD dramas I recently posted (one, two). There’s so many topics I will just make a few sections. This is insanely long and... just insane again. So I'm putting a cut right here.

First of all, this was such a different translation project than I’m used to! Meaning, it was spoken word instead of written and there was no official transcription. That is the difference between these two movie dramas and the series drama (Thought of Jeture). ToJ had the whole script in the booklet, so that would make the translation MUCH easier. The only thing we have for these are the summaries in the movie Newtype Artbook. Anyway, it was a fight but I’m pretty confident with this translation.

Speaking of booklets, sorry about the quality of the pictures/scans. For some reason, these booklets are really deteriorating, dunno if anyone who has the same CDs can confirm, but they are yellowing pretty badly and what is worse, in an irregular way where one page is totally different color from the other. I don’t think the environment I store it in is too bad, there’s not a problem with humidity or anything and most of the other materials are fine but ofc, I can’t speak for the previous owner. Or it’s simply a feature. The booklets are printed on some textured, off-white (possibly recycled?) paper in the first place, so they were never white, but then there’s the yellowing. I tried to fix it a bit in Photoshop but when it’s irregular AND in color, my editing skills come short. BTW, I had a similar problem when I scanned Escabible, I just gave up and made it B&W cause the print was originally green on pages that yellowed with time. Anyway, these cd drama booklets have sparse contents compared to some others (there are only the song lyrics and credits and some non-specific artwork), so I included the scans more or less informatively.

Finally, to the contents. This is definitely more complementary to the movie than the novel which takes some different paths. I believe this one was made so that it doesn’t contradict anything in the movie, although some things leave you guessing. We’ll get to them later. Which may be one of the reasons why it's kind of hard to be in the drama setting and not to feel like “this is just another Escaflowne AU” but realize it is an actual prequel/prologue to the movie. It has all the scenes that you would have in yet another Escaflowne retelling, such as:

sketch of Hitomi’s relationship with Yukari

Hitomi’s suddenly getting isekai’d and realizing it by observing Earth from Gaea

Hitomi meeting Van under dramatic circumstances (though I must say this is probably their most civil first encounter, there’s practically no fighting!)

meeting with other characters like Allen and Millerna (the Van and Allen fight is practically a copy of the movie fight… even bears resemblance to their first series encounter)

introduction to other characters like Folken, Dryden, and Dilandau

I get it, I get it. This was a case of amnesia in the end. But we are just more used to AUs in this fandom, haha. I also get you would want cameos to every character with a semblance of a fandom in a new franchise material. But I can’t shake the feeling they weren’t trying all that hard to tie things into the movie perfectly, although the cd drama is described as its prequel.

For clarity, I still consider the cd dramas and the movies the same universe and the things that happened in the drama as canon for the movie. There is also the movie novel, which I will publish in the future, but that one is another beast and I wouldn’t necessarily say things that are true there are some secret lore for the movie that was just never mentioned. It’s more up to the decision of the reader whether you accept them into your movie headcanon (because some of the novel lore contradicts the movie so how much can you believe the rest of it?) The multiverse is quite insane already but yes, this happens, with other titles as well.

BTW, it is neat they included Dornkirk’s seiyuu in the voice of Orm. This is a pretty mysterious character but he fulfills the role of the deus ex machina for the whole thing, never to be mentioned again in the actual movie. It is through him we learn more about Folken and Van, which would otherwise have to be spoken about by themselves in a voice drama/movie, and yeah, we all know the odds of that. Anyway, he is not human. He is not Dragon Clan, because that’s people like Van and Folken. And yet, he changes into a dragon. Is he actually a dragon god? One of the two who created Gaea? I guess not if it’s the two princes who decide the fate of Gaea instead of him. Perhaps he lost his power or there were lesser dragon gods? Or he’s not a dragon at all; it’s just sorcery of some sort. He says he’s just a sorcerer, after all. But he looks like a goblin. It took me a while to realize and you may not remember either, but the movie also has madoushi or sorcerers, except they don't look exactly human.

Rather, they resemble the series Ispano and their work with on Alseides confirms this. So now I believe this Orm could possibly be one of these guys (maybe before whatever it is that got done to them?) and he shows his true form to Hitomi. And when you think of it, much like Ispano, Orm acts as a sort of “insurance” against world destruction. The topics just keep recurring it seems.

Anyway, I just made some notes about these cd dramas and grouped them according to the topic.

Physical descriptions of the characters

If you introduce a character in an audio drama like this, you have to introduce them through the narrator’s voice, similarly to a book. That’s why Hitomi has to spend more time describing Orm’s shiny eyes, protruding teeth, etc. than she does with the known characters with a known design, who, all with the exception of Van, get just about one sentence. She spends some more time describing Van and although she observes how “beautiful the two look in their fight” (I had to make a note of that), she never spares a second thought to Allen, or any of the other handsome men she sees. No more love triangles, the soulmate game here is too strong! 

Anyway, in this material, Hitomi describes Van’s eyes twice with a word that literally means “see-through”. It felt odd but it is apparently a set expression, unless they tried to involve some double meaning. It’s apparently a synonym of clear/shiny/sparkly/pure/beautiful eyes… you can buy contact lenses that promise to do this for you in Japan lol. I translated the novel as well and there are more strange descriptions of his eyes in there, maybe that’s why it felt so significant. There is also a bit of a difference compared to the series materials, where they would just describe the color in a way you would describe a specific shade of blue or any other color. In any case, however literally or not they meant this, Van has pretty eyes, as we already knew. It was also funny when Millerna described him as cute and connected it to whether he would want to join Abaharaki. Like a cute face was a prerequisite or something lol. But she’s probably on about him being too tsun despite the face.

Another thing we discussed during editing was this “sign of the king” that was shown already at the time of Van’s birth… and wasn’t at the time of Folken’s. At first, I thought very simplistically that it may have something to do with the tattoos (or would they be markings then)? But that doesn’t seem to be the case and they are confirmed to be tattoos for the novel, although it doesn’t seem anyone else from the Dragon Clan would have them there. In the movie, on the contrary, young Dune and even Van’s mother are shown to have them as well, so the meaning of them could have been different. Back to the “sign of the king,” I returned to that part of the translation later and it seems it was something that the seers saw in their prophecies after all. Some symbol of the dragon king that was not specified. Sidenote, I pitied and blamed Dune’s mother at the same time. Poor guy.

This got all about Van again but I don’t think anyone else was given enough description to even discuss? It’s clearly obvious who Hitomi’s love interest is. I would say it makes it clearer than the movie itself, because it has these inner monologues and it’s pretty romantic already despite the two barely knowing each other. I would even say Van’s behavior is gentler than any other iteration (?) But when you think of it, the cd dramas are usually THE fanservice materials, aren’t they? So obviously, they would give most attention to the popular characters and ships… but let’s get to the more pragmatic stuff.

When do the Prologues take place?

The two prologues obviously happen before the movie but how long before that? Let’s check some placeholders and see what we can figure out.

“the winter of my sixteenth year” “not even a spring break yet” “soon, you’ll be a third year”

High school in Japan is three years with the school year starting in spring. So I believe this is happening at the end of Hitomi’s second year. Her age of 16 fits. In the movie materials, her age is described as 17, so somewhere between the two, she also has her birthday. Could it be in December, same as in the series? That would make the window for the drama very narrow, because it’s winter but not yet 9th of December. We can't probably take that date as a reference, anyway.

“is the way to the Mystic Moon closed now?” “yes, for now. But once the moon is full again…”

This is something Folken and Sora speak about in cd 1 when Van deflects Orm. But then it is Van who reaches out to Hitomi first before they can do as they plan. At the end of cd 2, Folken asks Sora to open the path again so I assume these conditions still apply. Then the movie may be one or several months after the events of the cd drama, since they need the full moon. Well, if the Moon works and time passes the same on both planets…

I believe this takes place in a range of one to few more months before the movie. Why? Folken asks Sora if the way to the Mystic Moon is closed. And Sora says, it is, "but once the Moon is full again..." Unclear which moon, but we could assume their moon, the one with the eye. Looks similar to our moon, and if it was the same, it would have been one month. But then, the movie is definitely not taking place in the winter, like this drama. So, when is it?

Let’s look at the placeholders from the movie directly. First thing we have is Hitomi’s watch, which says, SA 18th, 16:15:28. Normally, SA would stand for Saturday, the screen of her watch (or the information on it) even looks pretty similar to existing models of Casio Chronograph/Illuminator:

You may wonder why she would be at school on Saturday afternoon but it was normal at the time of the movie production, Japanese students only had Sundays off. They talk about some plans next day on the train right after the rooftop scene and Hitomi asks Yukari to give her a wake-up call in the morning, which would fit. You see them having a bit of fun and it doesn’t seem the next day yet, they are still in their uniforms. Later at the stairs (although it is not in the subs I had), Yukari says they will see each other at school tomorrow. But shouldn’t it be Sunday next day? Or is what we see already the next day, the thing they made plans for? But why not dress casually, then? And aren't they on the train to/in Tokyo already when they discuss this? I guess this theory is not too likely, then.

It’s actually baffling. Because the scenes also do not follow in a linear way; you see them on the train, there is a shot of Hitomi at the stadium already, then they walk around Harajuku/Omotesando, and back on the train where they are held-off because of an accident at Yoyogi. Yoyogi station is on Yamanote line, the circular line going around Tokyo. That station, Harajuku, Omotesando, Meiji Jingu, National Stadium… it’s all in the same wide area but maybe it’s a bit too much for walking, unless they had a lot of time. I mean it would take them almost two hours just to get to that athletics stadium if they left their school right after the roof scene at 4 pm (according to her jersey, the school is still in Kamakura). But they don’t even have their school bags, Yukari just has a small shopping/gift bag it seems. Did they put them in a coin locker on the station or something? In the novel, they just run away from school (or rather, from an angry teacher), so that would make sense with the bags if they at least had some money on them but it seems too late in the day to do that. But I guess it’s still the best explanation. The sun sets around 7 pm at that time of the year in Tokyo. But that still doesn’t explain why Yukari says “see you at school tomorrow” when it should be the weekend. If she meant cram school, guess she would say that and not school. Maybe there’s something I’m missing that puts it all together. Or they are doing this on purpose. EDIT: I just reread this for possible typos and it came to my mind that the plans Yukari and Hitomi have could be for Sunday AND at school. Yukari says, "you promised, remember?" which made me feel like she was worried Hitomi would just cancel but it may actually be something of a favor to Yukari? IDK, for example, helping her cleaning the club room or something? She DOES use "kureru" which means that she hopes Hitomi will do this "for her". That's a thought...

Anyway, I researched the watch a bit and if the display was really like a digital Casio Chronograph, we wouldn’t know the month from looking at the screen (some models have the full date but this type, only the day of the month). But what can we guess about the month from the movie itself? It's not full-blown spring, otherwise we would see at least one blooming sakura tree, I guarantee it. In similar vein, if it was the height of summer, there would be sound of cicadas (June to September). Late spring/early summer or early autumn is my best bet based on the greenery we see, plus Hitomi and Yukari wearing the summer uniforms (the school uniform would have a version for cold and hot days) and people wearing tshirts and summer dresses in Tokyo. Then it would be about half a year after the cd drama.

But here’s a crazy thing: Hitomi’s watch is shown once again on Gaea and it has SA 19th 17:05 on it. It is the next day compared to the roof scene where it's 18th but also it's still SA… This confused me so much I even checked the settei but I didn't learn much besides that it's her favorite watch and the pattern you see above the screen is an image of an angel that can be backlit in the dark and that she only checks the time once while on Gaea. The settei uses the time from the roof scene btw.

So does the SA stand for month after all? SA for sangatsu (March)? It doesn’t look like March in the scenes with Yukari, I mean, March is the graduation month, remember? Sakuras would be everywhere and they would wear jackets. Could it be then they simply forgot to change SA to SU? That would be the smoothest explanation in fact. Or is there some significance to this? Something something her watch has stopped like that time at the Tokyo Station when she was a child? Anyway, let’s recap the options, since, as usual with the franchise, there is a hole in each and every one of them:

If the roof is on Saturday 18th and the stadium are the same day, then next day we see her watch on Gaea and it’s “SA” 19th… then where did they leave their school bags and why is Yukari telling Hitomi she’ll meet her tomorrow at school if it should be a day off?

If the roof is on Saturday 18th and the stadium on Sunday 19th evening… then why are they wearing school uniforms on Sunday and why are they on a train to Tokyo on Saturday and why should her watch show the “SA” 19th 5 pm after she came to Gaea and slept for some time at the caravan?

If SA is not for Saturday but for the month of March and the roof scene could be any weekday… then why is her watch different from regular Japanese digital watches and why doesn’t it look at all like March outside?

And if SA is neither for Saturday nor sangatsu... then WHAT? I think it could be a subtle “Stop Asking” by the creators, lol.

Or, you know what, her watch did not take the interplanetary travel and the liquid in Escaflowne cockpit too well and broke. That’s my best explanation offer I guess (besides an animation error).

Why does Van not remember Hitomi in the movie if he has already met her?

I consider this the elephant in the room: okay, Hitomi went to Gaea before but Orm used his magic to bring her back and make her forget. But what about everyone else who met her, back on Gaea? Which would be Van, Allen, Millerna, Gaddes, Jajuka, Sora, and Folken? I believe some of their reactions in the movie, but especially Van’s in the beginning, confirm that they don’t remember that encounter.

But how can you erase someone from several people’s memories at once? Even if you erase the memory of her, her actions on Gaea leave some impact… Folken literally swears to bring her back again and he does in the movie. Moreover, in the cd drama, the location of Escaflowne is revealed to Folken through Hitomi’s ancient memories (as Sora spies on her telepathically). The first scene of the movie has Van stealing the armor from Black Dragon Clan’s ship. I believe this ties nicely to the “Escaflowne is discovered underneath Torushina” from the ending of the cd drama. Basically, some time has passed, and BDC dug out Escaflowne, now transporting it to Folken. Meanwhile, Folken is trying to summon Hitomi back because with her and Escaflowne, he apparently has all the ingredients for his plan.

When it comes to Abaharaki, apparently, the cd drama gives us a scene of their first meeting with Van. So, it has not been all that long that he was with the Abaharaki. But since he is with them in the movie, this event from the cd drama is also something that did not get reversed by Orm sending Hitomi back. It’s hard to wrap one’s head around. Allen, Millerna, and Gaddes come across Hitomi and Van because they were apparently in the vicinity and “saw a light”. This is all happening in a “holy land” that bears the name of Arzas, btw.

But if Van wasn’t summoning the Wing Goddess, why would he even go there? Why would Allen come check if there was no light from her arrival from Earth? Of course, the meeting of Van and Abaharaki might have happened anyway, by pure chance. After all, Merle in the movie says they “met on the battlefield”. For the Abaharaki, they “could not take a better look” at Hitomi before she was snatched away by Jajuka and they’ve never seen her again in the drama. So I guess their movie reactions would be plausible even if they did remember Hitomi’s first arrival in the cd drama. But Van is just a big question mark and either their meeting “never happened” or his memory got erased.

So Orm changed into a dragon and took Hitomi, her memories, and apparently Van’s memories away. Then what, was Van just left standing there, wondering what happened and why he even went out there? How about Merle, who went with him to rescue Hitomi? She would remember that the Wing Goddess was there, wouldn’t she? Even though she hasn’t seen her in the cd drama. This adds Merle to Allen, Millerna, Gaddes, and Mole, who form a group of characters who knew of the Wing Goddess coming to Gaea but wouldn’t know her face.

Then we have another group formed by Van, Folken, Sora, Jajuka, who had also seen her. Out of all these, Van is the only one who is confirmed to have forgotten. Others may as well remember everything, because they go retrieve Escaflowne and eventually Hitomi. Interesting. So I guess the first group may remember her arrival, they just don’t know how she looks. The second group, minus Van, could know everything. Van was apparently made to forget by some effect of Orm’s sorcery. Either he forgot her face or their whole encounter. That, or it never happened.

Another variation is, only Folken and Sora remember Hitomi. I guess that would make some sense, since Sora seems to be the one ‘in the know’ about everything, together with Orm, and to some extent, Folken. Then again, Van is a pretty strong magic user himself as we discover, so why would Folken and Sora be able resist Orm’s magic and not him?

I guess this could be explained by Orm’s final scene, where he sounds pretty mad at Van. Which is interesting. He’s not cross with Folken who wants to destroy the world, he’s angry with Van cause he is using Hitomi as a tool for his revenge which will just cause her more sorrow. So, does he in fact only seal her away from Van or erase only his memories? Because Van is not ready to lift Hitomi’s spirits and ease her loneliness? It seems Orm puts some hopes of saving the world into Van and is disappointed that he doesn’t realize what he needs to do. Then again, how would sealing Van away and leaving the path open for Folken help? Perhaps Orm meant to seal her away from both brothers but Sora overcame that magic? It’s frustrating that they just won’t.let.us.know.

But I believe Van having no memory of their encounter could be why (besides the obvious resonance of their depressed souls) Folken is the one to bring Hitomi to Gaea in the movie. Van isn’t even trying to reach her anymore like he does in the cd drama, it seems he is 100% focused on obtaining Escaflowne. Which I guess was his mindset in the first place even as he, on his own volition, went out and whisked Hitomi away from Earth, which coincidentally made for a pretty romantic scene but you can still see he’s all about obtaining the armor. I mean it is logical, once he knows BDC has Escaflowne, it means everything to take it out of their hands. It is also sort of parallel to the series when he asks her pragmatically and logically to help him against Zaibach without considering her feelings.

But really, nothing like, “You’re the Wing Goddess? Few months back, I tried to summon you from the holy land of Arzas, using all the magic taught to me by the beast clan but you left me on Read?” Ahh yes that would be uncharacteristic to disclose by this particular character, I get it.

So what do you think? Did Orm make him forget or did he revert Hitomi’s whole first visit to Gaea?

“Ancient Gaea”

What is also pretty blurry is this whole “Wing Goddess lived on ancient Gaea and she met Van then… but she has forgotten.”

Okay, what do we know of this “ancient Gaea”? We know the Wing Goddess as well as “Van” in some form lived there and then. And they were “alike” in some way. Orm calls them “twins” or “gemini” which I do get may sound problematic (I translated it as “two of the same kind” in the end) but I don’t think he means they are related. Also, “dragons” lived on this Gaea. I don’t know, as I listened to this part with the series soundtrack in the bg, I suddenly got the feeling like they talked about the series. Which makes not much sense of course. There is no proof of that. Movie Escaflowne is different, the series one didn’t destroy the world… it doesn’t work. But I still got a nostalgic feeling like that.

Then the last thing we know is Escaflowne actually destroyed some major city… I guess, likely in battle with the movie Alseides, they just laid ruin to this ancient Gaea civilization, whatever it was. In this battle it seems, Escaflowne could have been buried by rubble of what could have been the predecessor of Torushina, which itself could have been gradually built upon the ancient city ruins. That’s all we know. Anyway, I kinda hate when Sora teases like “could we bring back the ancient memories of the Wing Goddess?” Don’t give us hope if you’re never, ever gonna deliver, dammit. Maybe I should deliver in fic form haha (no I will not start another project).

Random thoughts after watching the movie after having translated the drama

Now that I think of it, the movie actively avoids any direct reference to the events of the cd drama. But after giving a proper attention to the CD drama, you see echoes of it in the movie, echoes of Hitomi remembering on some level after all. Like, when they are frolicking with Yukari, and she hears Sora’s song… she immediately understands someone is calling. It’s not “I hear a song nobody else seems to hear” anymore, it’s her immediately understanding that Yukari doesn’t hear it and that she’s being called.

BTW, what I humbly believe the movie subs/dubs could have done a little better was the scene with Yukari at the stadium. Hitomi tells Yukari she’s annoying for meddling in her life. She says “annoying” and “just disappear” repeatedly and there is this transition from when it seems like she’s really calling Yukari  “annoying” and muttering she should “go away” to when you understand that she is talking about herself. Hitomi is the “bad guy” and she’s the one who should “disappear”. If you use “fade away” it doesn’t click so much because you don’t tell another person to “fade away”.

Also, in cd 1, when Hitomi sees Van for the first time and the dragon fossil in the face of the mountain. I got this weird feeling it could be Van just before he takes off to kill everyone on the Black Dragon Ship and steal Escaflowne in the very first movie scene. Because yes, we see the mountain with the dragon fossil in that movie scene (presumably one of the twin gods Van prays to), he prays for the death of his enemies (that he does massacre in the movie opening scene), even the music is the same... because Bird song is the first part of First Vision, the OST for the first scene of the movie.

Or perhaps, for Hitomi's “first vision”, and it refers to this scene from the drama? Of course, nothing gets confirmed here either. Anyway, if she sees Van in real time, what would he be doing at the time she’s under Orm’s spell on the train? Well, apparently, he is aware of Orm’s actions, and with support of the elders from the wolf village, he is trying to intercept him. Which he does later, in the cave. But would his preparation for that be this? Wishing death upon his enemies with the sword drawn and then flying off… idk, it fits the movie scene better.

This post got really speculative so I’ll just stop here but I think I’ll make one or two other posts. One will just have the movie trivia without as much of my speculation. Another will be a bit critical because while I like Escaflowne in all its forms, I did get a bit frustrated here and I should let it out.

[dojunie]

fic progress update :3

misdial: working on the jaemin x reader prequel before getting into chapter 6 of misdial in earnest! so, techinically i’m still 'working on misdial', but not exactly a story continuation just yet... apologies for all my jeno luvrs, your time will come soon!

the lake house (njm misdial prequel, possible retitle coming): wordcount is at 27k currently (I KNOW! I KNOW! I’M SORRY!) and i’ve got about 5-7k left (...optimistically... it will probably could be more...) i must’ve written like 5k for this in the last three days alone because i’m very excited about it, so here’s to hoping the energy sticks up. i’m planning for this to be the next thing i upload!

messenger: is on baby hiatus! the outline is finished! just have to motivate myself to make the texts, LOL

courtside (itwd retitle, njm or ljn basketball au): wordcount is at 55k. this is my child, idk, i carry her around in my locket necklace like an old victorian lover, i write very sporadically for this (like 5k in one night or nothing for a month) which means she will not be coming out into the world for a while. but when i tell you this is on my mind every day. atp i’m genuinely thinking this fic might be like 80k plus

into you: indefinitely on hiatus……………… i think about her so often but im not happy with the way it flows at the moment, and i just do not have the energy rn to rework what i’ve already written (its at 9k) but i still really like the existing parts + the concept itself! its on hiatus, idk when i’ll sit down and work on it again, but i 100% plan to finish it

swimming for dummies: next on my wip roster after either i finish lake house (plus, or) misdial ch 6! currently at 32k? just need to wrap up the final scene and edit for flow and clarity before part 1 is done and potentially ready to post!

other info: looking at all these big number seems kind of ridic for how little i post, like im writing like crazy and just hoard it all instead of posting (if u do the math of the stuff above i have one hundred and twenty three thousand words of stuff in the works) but i promise you these things will be posted!!!! i luv writing. i luv dream. i am also just a perfectionist who cant upload something until it makes perfect sense + i am a serial editor, which means i have to reread + spot edit the whole fic every time i open the doc or i think i'll die. really slows the process down, unfort

anyway, i'm making this post so you don't think i've given up on some of these things!!! progress is being made, i pinky promise, but thank you all for sticking with me either way :D