#EATING THE LAWYER: NOT JUST FOR T-REXES

[annoyangle]

Ohhh, have fun in Your take over!! Enjoy deleting and creating as many pasta shapes as you Want!

And thank You :) I think I'll stick around a While longer, this corner of the multiverse is so interesting! A lot more chaotic then the corner I'm from!! - PS!

SURE NO PROBLEM! HELP YOURSELF TO SOME DIP. IT WAS JUST KILLED YESTERDAY!

ACTUALLY IT WAS JUST ONE OF MY LAWYERS YESTERDAY, BUT, DON'T WORRY, HE'S FINE. HE'S AN INFINITELY REGENERATING CRAB GUY. SO WE END UP EATING THE SPARES. IT'S CRAB NIGHT EVERY NIGHT AT THE HEXAGONY!

AND OF COURSE, PASTA GOES GREAT WITH CRAB! WHAT DO YOU THINK, A LIGHT CREAM SAUCE WITH CRAB? AND SOME LINGUINE?

[yhmusicteacher]

T-Rex Roar

Last week one of the 5th grade classes at Public School was entering the Music Room for class. We are in the midst of Recorder right now so there was a bit of chaos going on as we were getting recorders passed out and people were settling down to get started.

Amongst the chaos I heard some students singing a song from a movie. This song didn't have any words, it was part of the main score and they were "Do, Do, Do-ing" the melody. The song they were "Do-ing" was the original theme to Jurassic Park.

I piped up and said: "I know that movie! I was in high school when it came out! It was a big hit"

All the little boys started exclaiming their love for the franchise and how they wished there was an actual dinosaur theme park where they could pet the animals etc....(*Eyeroll* they be crazy....they gonna get eaten)

More students started "Do, Do, Do-ing' the song and I joined in! They were mostly on pitch so I complimented them and said: "You guys are sining well! the only thing you're missing is the big T-Rex roar..you know 'RRRAAAWWWWRRR'"

Of course they all start Rawr-ing because I did....

I start calling them quiet, but they start "Do-ing" the song again...

I thought: "I'm gonna get that roar in...I'm gonna make this awesome"

I quickly went to YouTube and searched "Jurassic Park T-Rex Roar." I didn't want the any of the scenes, just the sound bite. Of course Youtube has everything! I found the 6 second sound bite of the T-Rex roaring...it was the scene in the rain in the original movie where the t-rex was chewing on the overturned jeep after eating the lawyer sitting on the toilet...can you picture it?

Anyway, I made sure my computer was Bluetoothed to my big Bose Speaker System and turned up LOUD....then I waited....(evil laugh...hehehehe)

It didn't take long....The class started "Do, Do Do-ing" the melody again, I bided my time...waiting for the exact moment to hit Play on the computer...

"RAAAWWWRRRR!"

The entire class freaked out! It was the funniest thing I had seen all year! There was a Para in the room too, she was belly laughing as loud as I was! One girl was was so startled that she started laugh-crying! She asked to go to the bathroom!

To all the teachers out there: Gotta take time to find the joy and funny when you can in education!

[baby-justins-world]

Dis was a story made for @chompchompchu pwease be nice

1993

    In Montana there is a dig for what is considered the oldest bones on earth. These belonged to the oldest known animals to have walked the earth. Dinosaurs. At this dig site three people have just uncovered a skeleton of a velociraptor. The man wearing a straw hat and aviator sunglasses as well as plaid button up shirt was Dr. Alan Grant  world-renowned paleontologist. The woman next to him is Dr. Ellie Sattler. She specializes in prehistoric plants and is also Dr. Grant's girlfriend. The third was a man in his late teens and an upcoming  paleontologist doing his thesis paper on Velociraptors under Dr. Grant’s advice. 

This young man is remarkable as he is about to graduate college at the age of 18. This young man had worked hard and prided himself on being able to focus despite his autism. This young man impressed Dr. Grant and that was considered almost impossible given his hatred of children. This young man’s name is Rex James or Moth as he was called by Dr. grant.

“Dr. Grant! We’re ready to try again!” A random worker called and the three went over to the main tent to see if they could get a better radar image. Rex nearly laughed at how Alan made a fourteen year old kid named Owen Gradey piss his pants. Rex wasn’t one to talk much around crowds. He had fifteen hundred thing on his mind at any given time so it was better he didn’t. After the demonstration of the new technology a helicopter flew overhead nearly undoing the hard work that had taken months.

Rex still didn’t know how he found himself sitting in a jeep next to Dr. Ian Malcolm along with Dr. Grant and Dr. Sattler. When they came to a stop. A large moving animal ate leaves from the top of a tree. The only thing off..it was a brachiosaurus. Rex stood next to Ellie and Alan as they lost their minds and Rex wasn’t far behind. Rex could vaguely hear the lawyer say ‘We’re going to make a foruton with this place’ which pissed Rex off. Here before his eyes was the most incredible scientific discovery in history and all he could think of was money.

“Dr. Grant, My dear Dr. Sattler, Mr. James, Welcome to Jurassic park. Later in a dark room with projectors all six sat at a round table eating lunch. Ian was getting into an argument with Hamond and for the first time that day Rex spoke up.  “I agree with Ian here. While I have seen things here today that in eighteen years on this earth i never thought i’d be able to see we are messing with the one thing that shouldn't be messed with, nature. However, John, I'm willing to wait until the end of the tour.” Everyone was shocked by how Rex spoke. It wasn’t everyday you heard an eighteen year old speak as thoughtfully as Rex had.

It was decided that Rex would ride with Ian, Alan and Ellie. It was dark and stormy now. They were waiting for the storm to pass so they could go back to the Visitor center. Ian and Rex had been talking and had grown a bond. It was almost as if Ian was a father to Rex. Then the T-Rex blew out of her paddock. As Ian tried and failed to divert Rexy away Rex went to check on him when Rexy saw him. Rex thought his life was over. But Rexy had other plans for him. She let out a roar that caused Rex to age backward. Where once stood an eighteen year old now stood a two year old. Rex crawled to the ruins of the bathroom and curled around Ian. When Ellie came to retrieve Alan she didn’t expect to find a two year old Rex and a badly injured Ian. As Ellie hefted Rex into her arms her heart melted and broke at the same time. She knew how hard Rex had worked but at the same time Rex can get the childhood he deserves. 

Rex came from his slumber while on the way to the emergency bunker. “Hey there, How are you Moth?” Ellie asked, brushing the hair out of Rex’s eyes. “Ellie, me all wittle!” Rex exclaimed, remembering his de-ageing. “I can see. And there's some bad news.” Elilie said hoping beyond hope that Rex wouldn’t have the reaction she was predicting. Rex knew the second she said ‘bad news’ that it wasn’t reversible. He didn’t scream or kick or yell, all he did was lay his head on Ellie’s shoulder. Ian was in awe at how Rex was able to keep calm. 

“You know, Kelly’s been begging for a little brother.” Ian said while motioning for ellie to put Rex in his arms. Hammond smiled at the scene and vowed that he’d do everything to help 

Rex. 

Once the contingent was in the air Rex was feeling very sleepy but was afraid that he’d lose his adult mind. Malcolm saw this and held him tighter. “You know, I, uh, don’t care if, uh, you become the dumbest, uh, most droolliest, uh, baby ever I’ll take care of you.” Rex’s eyes were dropping dangerously. Everyone smiled at the soon to be father and son. “Sleep my little dinosaur king.” Ian said as Rex fell asleep. As it turned out the dinosaurs weren’t the only ones given second chances.

[mattkeepsrambling]

Random Rambling: Thoughts on the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World Series

In preparation for Jurassic World: Dominion, I decided to rewatch all the Jurassic movies. Here are my thoughts

Jurassic Park: -This is a perfect movie; I have no notes. -I have watched this movie over a dozen times, and I just now noticed that Lex grabs Dr. Grant's hand when they are going to see the sick Triceratops. -I watched this on HBOMax (despite having it on Blu-ray), and whatever transfer they are using, while great, makes the special effects look dated. It made me realize that the version of the movie I own is the last version I will buy. The special effects still hold up on the disc I own. -Seriously, this is a perfect movie.

The Lost World -This applies to every single sequel (except the third). No one learns the lesson of "Jurassic Park." This is a bad idea. Don't do it. Yet…everyone seems to think they can do what John Hammond couldn't. -That kid is so annoying. -Do you know how many people die in the original? 4. Every sequel needs to up the ante and makes the deaths more brutal. This is also a flaw in this and the four other sequels. -The high shot of the raptors walking through the tall grass as they hunt is fantastic. -The T-Rex on the mainland could have led to something interesting. It just ended up being a knock-off Godzilla.

Jurassic Park III -This is my least favorite of the Jurassic Park movies. -Another annoying kid. -I have always hated the fact that the Spinasauras kills the T-Rex. To me, that says, "Screw that old movie. This is a more dangerous dinosaur. This movie is cooler and scarier." I will have a similar thought when we get to "Fallen Kingdom." -We have established that raptors are intelligent. This movie makes them super-intelligent creatures who can play tricks on their prey. The first one we see is laying its head behind a jar of formaldehyde (I think) to fool the humans into thinking it is a specimen in a jar. It is an idiotic scene. -I do not buy Dr. Grant's motivation to return to the island. He knows how dangerous it is, and no amount of money should change that. -The reveal that they are on the island to find a kid is dumb. It also turns Mr. and Mrs. Kirby into the most insufferable assholes in the movie.

Jurassic World -I will fully admit that I still love the reveal of the original T-Rex at the end of this movie. It is 100 percent a cheap nostalgia trick, but I love it nonetheless. -I forgot how insufferable Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) is as a character. Chris Pratt's Owen is not much better. -I remember liking this movie initially, but I have very much soured on it since I last watched it. -The two kids are less annoying than the one in "The Lost World," but no one will ever be as great as Lex and Tim from the original. -I have always hated the death of the assistant who is looking after the kids. A Pteranodon picks her up, and as it flies away, the Mosasaurus leaps out of the pool and eats them both. This has always been the cruelest death to me. It is very excessive for a character who didn't do anything to deserve it. The lawyer's death in the original is easier to take (he just abandoned the kids at the first sign of the T-rex moments before he is eaten).

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom -For being such a massive part of the marketing, Jeff Goldblum's Dr. Malclom is barely in the movie (and he might be one of the only good things about the movie). -The only reason I am invested in this movie at all is because of Blue (the velociraptor). I care about her more than any of the humans. -One of the reasons I dislike this movie is that it is confirmed that the brachiosaurus who dies as our heroes leave the island is the same one that Dr. Grant and Dr. Sadler see when they first get to Jurassic Park. That is a pointless bit to include and a slap in the face of the fans of the original. -I cannot count how many times I said, "The movie is so stupid." during its over 2-hour runtime. Stupid things happen, characters say dumb things, and the plot gets so stupid. I would rather watch "Jurassic Park III" again.

[jdpink]

While optimism and pessimism both offer tempting ways out of feeling one must take personal action, Shotwell’s analysis of purity helps expose another such temptation, a third narrative: purity stories where just by remaining pure the protagonist triumphs or survives. All those B horror movies where the virgin lives, or purity of heart expels the demons, the Disney movies where the princess comes through spotless, the moment when the T-Rex eats the bloodsucking lawyer not the hero, or in the disaster movie when the kind protagonist goes back to save the orphan and thus is saved when falling rubble crushes others—these narratives are inheritances of Puritan-influenced providentialist thinking which expects fate to preserve the pure. As we face climate change and COVID-19, the archetype of purity of action offering safety in troubled times offers a strange hybrid between abdicating responsibility and facing responsibility: the idea that by making the right choices to stay personally pure—an end far easier to act on than political reform—one increases one’s chances of salvation, either on the personal scale (the eco-disaster spares your house, the virus spares your family), or on the global scale of feeling that, if enough members of the human race are good at heart, if there are enough good people in the city of Sodom, then God/Fate/Providence/climate change will be more likely to move toward the good ending not the bad ending. For many people, especially in America, the ideological residue of Puritanism and providentialist Christianity means that pursuing personal purity can feel like a way of helping indirectly with crises like climate or authoritarianism when direct action is intimidating or exhausting. Someone who feels guilty doing nothing may feel overwhelmed trying to engage politically, but making grocery store choices that prioritize personal purity feel like taking effective action, because so many narratives tell us that purity makes the optimist ending more likely to come true. There are other varieties of providentialist thinking which let one abdicate a sense of personal responsibility (the new fad for stoicism is one) but pursuing personal purity has the bonus of making it feel like you actually are taking action, while evading the whirlwind of messiness, compromise, and option paralysis involved in choosing among the array of impure political candidates, or the innumerable activist causes competing for our help.

https://beforewegoblog.com/purity-and-futures-of-hard-work-by-ada-palmer/

[thesvenqueen]

Jurassic Park

Rating: M  Pairing: Kristanna Also on AO3

Note(s): uh welp..apologies in advance...

Previous Chapters ( One Two Three Four Five)

{Chapter 6}

Anna stroked the triceratops once more, a concerned frown on her face. She should be ecstatic right now, bubbling with excitement at the idea of seeing her favorite creature up close. She now was able to feel the roughness of it’s skin, the scales along its body, memorizing the color of its hide. Instead, she was holding back tears not out of excitement and overwhelming joy, but pure frustration and sadness.

Kristoff had spotted the poor thing lying off the main road, jumping from the car without hesitation and taking off into the woods.

Anna had immediately followed, knowing something important caught his eye for him to just abandon the tour. As she realized as she came through the brush, it was very important. A young triceratops laid on its side, breathing slow and deep, and it was a site that took Anna’s breath away. She had laughed, tears in her eyes as she slowly came up to it, watching in astonishment as Kristoff leaned himself against its side, rising and falling with the creature’s stomach as it breathed.

She had come to the front to see its' head, only then letting her tears fall as she realized it was, in fact, a real life, breathing triceratops. She was giddy with excitement, hesitantly touching its face, smiling so large her cheeks were aching.

Till she was told by the doctor on site why exactly it was down, why they had tranquilized the poor creature, & why it was groaning in pain.

It was sick, and not for the first time.

“This is what I was talking about, Kris.” Anna murmured, feeling him come up behind her & placing a gentle hand on her lower back. “They knew these berries were poisonous to them, knew there was a risk they could kill them, and ignored it because they thought that they wouldn’t eat them. Was so confident about that too.” Anna sighed, stroking the beast as it groaned again in pain. “But they didn’t even think about them eating the stones, the idea of them needing a gizzard.”

It had been Olaf who made them realize it. He’d picked up a smooth, round stone, holding it up to get a better look. Anna had watched him, trying to think why the triceratops would even bother eating the berries if they were poisonous. If anything, they’d avoid it as the doctor suggested. But as the droppings had show, the poor creature had in fact eaten a few of the berries. It didn’t make sense, that was until Olaf handed the stone over to Anna and then it had clicked.

While trying to swallow stones to assist in digesting the food in its stomach, they were accidentally eating the berries that were planted near them. It explained why they were sick so often, why they’d consume the berries knowing they were dangerous; it was out of pure innocence, just trying to do what it naturally was meant to.

The scientists had been too naive and clumsy yet again and nearly killed the creatures they’d created.

“I know.” Kristoff murmured in agreement, kissing the top of her head in comfort. Anna closed her eyes, trying to hold back the frustrated tears. “If they didn’t believe us before, this should make them now.”

“God, who knows how long this has been going on too.” Anna said, folding her arms against herself, “These poor babies are suffering so much over their stupidity.”

She felt his arms wrap around her then, squeezing her gently, “I know baby, I know.”

Anna placed her hand along his bicep, rubbing her thumb along it in a silent thank you. He could have easily teased her, came back with some witty comment on how big her heart was for animals in general but he didn’t. He comforted her, saw how important this truly was to her and it made Anna’s heart sore.

Another moment she found herself so grateful to have him.

A distant roll of thunder echoed from the distance, a slight breeze coming through the trees.

“Doctors, if you please,” Came the lawyer's voice from behind them, “I insist that we get back to the cars.”

Anna sighed, looking back to the head of the triceratops. It still laid on the grass, its tongue sticking out ever so and she could see the small white bumps along it.

“We should get going.” Kristoff whispered, kissing behind her ear.

“No,” Anna said, turning around to look up at Kristoff, “I’m going to stay.”

“Are you sure?”

Anna nodded, “Yeah, I…” She looked down, then back to the creature. There was a small feeling of responsibility bubbling within her, like it was her duty to see this through. “I want to make sure it’s ok when it wakes up.”

Anna felt Kristoff squeeze her waist gently, and looking up she saw him looking at her in complete understanding. “I get it.”

Anna smiled, “Thank you.”

He smiled down at her, kissing her forehead. Anna turned then, seeing the doctor still kneeling at the head of the triceratops.

“Dr. Harding,” Anna called, seeing him look up at her, “If it’s alright, I’d like to stay and make sure it’s alright.”

The Dr. smiled, “Of course. I have a gas powered jeep, I can drop you off at the visitor’s center before I head to the boat.”

“The boat?” Kristoff questioned.

“Yeah, some of us are evacuating before the storm hits.” As if to make his point, another roll of thunder came from the distance, the breeze picking up ever slightly.

Anna pushed the stray hairs from her face, looking back to Kristoff. “I’ll see you when you get back.” Anna said, standing up on her tiptoes to give him a chaste kiss. “You’ll have to tell me everything you see. Down to the color of their eyes.”

Kristoff chuckled, “I’ll give you a full rundown as soon as I’m back.”

Anna smiled, “I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Don’t have too much fun without me.” He teased, winking at her as he started back to the vehicles.

“I’ll try not to!” She joked back, “Have fun with Sven!” She giggled as she saw his shoulders sag ever so, and she swore she heard him groan. She smiled, watching him retreat back up the hill and out of site.

For some reason, the moment he disappeared in the brush, she felt a sudden feeling of dread bubble within her. Anna bit her lip, unsure of why exactly she felt this. He would be fine, they both would be. They’d meet back at the visitor center soon enough, him babbling on about what he saw on the tour (or didn’t, seeing as so far other than this slight detour, they’d seen nothing) and her smiling from ear to ear hearing everything she’d missed.

“Dr. Arendelle.”

She turned, her eyes widening as she saw the triceratops' head begin to shift, its legs moving ever so as it began to gain consciousness.

As she ran to the doctor, watching as the creature slowly began to sit up on its side, she pushed down the bubble of fear she felt earlier letting the excitement consume her instead.

After looking around for a few more minutes, the dinosaur unsteadily tried to stand, collapsing back on its side at the failed attempt.

Anna couldn’t help the smile that came on her face, watching her favorite dinosaur in action.

There was a flash in the sky, Anna looking up to see the dark clouds rolling in faster than expected. The thunder rolled, booming throughout the park. The triceratop, seeming to sense the storm coming, cried out. No doubt calling to it’s herd to find them, to shelter along with them during the oncoming storm.

In the distance, Anna could just make out the sound of other triceratops calling back. The creature tried to stand again, calling out to it’s herd as it did so. As it stood, shaking its head in triumph, Anna giggled in glee.

It’s all going to be fine, she told herself.

For some reason though, as another bolt of lightning lit up the sky, she found that difficult to believe.

----

“Was she ok?”

Kristoff blinked, turning to look at Sven. “Who, Anna?” Sven nodded from the passenger seat. “Oh, yeah. She’s fine.”

“She seemed pretty upset back there.”

Kristoff shrugged, looking out the windshield as he saw a few raindrops hit the glass, recalling the look of hurt on Anna’s face as they came upon the fallen creature, “Triceratops have always been her favorite since she was a kid. Don’t think that was how she was expecting to see one.”

To be truthful, Kristoff had known the moment he’d come across the animal that Anna was going to be upset. He’d had half a mind to tell her to return to the car, but knew that would only push her to venture out to him more.

When she’d come up to the dinosaur, stroking it as the doctor explained what was going on and how it was sick, he’d seen her face fall from excitement to complete concern. Instead of spending time just touching and taking in the moment of seeing her favorite dinosaur, she’d gone out of her way to figure out what was wrong.

Even so far as searching the creature’s nearby droppings for clues.

Sven nodded out of the corner of his eye, “I get it. I hope she’s alright.”

“She will be.” Kristoff said confidently, “Once it's back on its feet, I’m sure Anna will be more excited than anything.”

He could picture it now, the creature standing up on wobbly legs and Anna bouncing in her seat in excitement at seeing it before her. She would probably cry too, shit, he would. He wished he’d stayed to see it now, to hold her as she finally got to see her favorite beast in all its glory. He smiled to himself thinking of her reaction, of her talking his ear off about it once they met back up at the visitor’s center.

It was quiet as they continued the ride back, the rain coming down in fat drops as the storm rolled in, night beginning to fall which made it hard to see the enclosures around them. Kristoff could just make out the fence line of what seemed to be the T-Rex area they’d passed by earlier. They’d be back in a few minutes at this rate.

Then, without warning, the vehicle came to a sudden halt.

The jolt sent Kristoff forward, nearly slamming into the steering wheel. He catches himself just in time. He grips the wheel as he sits up, groaning at the sudden halt of the vehicle and realizing the wheel was no longer moving

“What the hell?” Kristoff asked, looking over to Sven.

Sven pushed himself up from being thrown into the dash, looking just as confused as Kristoff. “Why did we stop?” he asked, looking around the car.

“Don’t know.” Kristoff said, raising his voice slightly over the pounding of the rain. In front of them, the other car has also stopped. Maybe it was part of the tour? Another quick stop by the enclosure? He looks down at the dash and he is hit with a sudden feeling of dread, “Don’t think it’s planned though.”

“Why do you say that?”

Kristoff points to the dash, the once lit screen now completely black, “Seems like everything shut off.”

Sven reached over, tapping at the screen trying to get it to alight once more. No matter how many times he tapped, however, nothing happened. “Shit.” Sven groaned, slamming back against his seat as he drags a hand across his face.

Kristoff sighed, looking out his driver window into the rain.

They were stuck.

---

“The kids are alright,” Sven called as he jumped back into the passenger seat, slamming the door shut as he shook his head lightly to shake off the rain, “They found some goggles or some shit in the back of the car. Been playing with those for a minute.”

“Oh good.” Kristoff said, still leaning back in his seat as he watches Sven get resituated in the car.

“They’re not scared, thankfully.”

“Why would they be scared?”

“...the storm?” Sven said, looking at him confused, “Kids get scared of storms.”

“Ok?”

“And the power being out. Being stuck out here can’t be fun for them.”

Kristoff shrugged, slightly embarrassed at the fact he didn’t even think of that. He can remember a time himself that storms scared him, why did he think they wouldn’t be?

He really didn’t know kids well at all.

“Anyways, they’re good so that’s all that matters.” Sven chuckled, “The lawyer is a bit annoyed though, don’t envy him much.”

Kristoff can’t help but chuckle along with Sven, “Definitely not. Deserves it, the greedy prick.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

They both laugh, relaxing in the car as the storm continues around them.

Kristoff leaned his head back, eyes closed as he wonders if Anna made it back before the storm hit. She probably did, he thinks, seeing as the doctor had a gas powered car but still. The storm had come rapidly, he can only hope she was warm in their hotel room waiting for him.

He smiles to himself, knowing there was no way in hell she’d be in the room now. Word of the power outage would no doubt get to her, if it didn’t already affect the visitor center itself. Without his arrival as well, there was no doubt she was probably raising hell in the control room about getting everyone back pronto. He couldn’t wait to get back to hear her go at them for the poisonous berries too.

Then he feels it.

Kristoff opens his eyes, furrowing his brows in confusion.

He sits, waiting, making sure he hadn’t imagined it but...no, there it was again.

It’s a soft shake, one that he can just barely make out in his seat but it’s enough to catch his attention. Confused, he looks at the two cups of water in the recessed holes on the dashboard. He leans forward, squinting his eyes.

As he watches, the water vibrates, sending a ripple effect through the cups. It stops for just a second, then it vibrates again.

He watches the cups for a few moments more, then he hears it. There is a boom that he can just make out. One that is for certain not thunder and echoing in time with the vibrations.

This couldn’t be good.

“Where does he think he’s going?”

Kristoff looks up as Sven points, and he can just make out the lawyer as he scrambles past their car, and takes off behind them towards what seems to be an outhouse just near the tree line. He can’t see his face, can only see the figure of him hastily snatching the door open and slamming it shut behind him.

Kristoff tilts his head, completely confused as he looks out his driver side window. “Maybe he really had to go?”

Sven shrugs, “When you gotta go, you gotta go I guess.”

Kristoff stays staring at the building, still so confused between the lawyer running and the vibrations he felt & heard.

There is a sudden groan that comes from the front of the car, and Kristoff tears his gaze away to look back to the fence.

The cables to the enclosure begin to bend, as though something was stepping on them or pulling them down. The power being off means there was nothing keeping the animals within their enclosures now. With loud pops, the cables pop off to Kristoff’s horror.

It’s then that he sees it, standing on the other side of the fenceline.

“Oh my god.” Sven whispered, and Kristoff is utterly speechless as he watches a T-Rex walk over the small cement wall, straight through where the cables had just been, and stood between the two vehicles. The creature roared.

“I hate being right all the time.” He heard Sven murmur, but behind the feeling of fear there is still a slight bubble of excitement in Kristoff and he grins as he leans forward slightly to get a better view of the massive creature before them.

“Look at that.” Kristoff can’t help but whisper, overcome with excitement. The creature is so much bigger than he could’ve ever imagined. He can’t see the color of its skin, but he knows it's dark, and can see the same textured skin as they had felt on the triceratops early. Its mouth is slightly ajar, its teeth gleaming in the headlights of their car. They’re massive, he knows this but seeing them on an actual living T-Rex makes them seem that much bigger.

But his excitement only lasts for a moment, his smile falling as the T-Rex turns to head towards their car.

“Don’t move.” Kristoff whispered to Sven, “It’s vision is based on movement.”

“Are you sure?”

“Where about to find out.”

The T-Rex walks past Kristoff’s door, the vibration of its movements shaking the car and he can feel each step in his bones. He can just make out its massive legs and large claws protruding from its feet as it moves behind them. Only to then circle around to Sven’s side of the car in three strides.

Kristoff can see movement in the car in front of them and he realizes the kids are alone, not knowing what to do as the lawyer had abandoned them to face this alone. If the storm and power outage hadn’t scared them, then this certainly would.

His thoughts are shifted from the kids back to the T-Rex as it nudges their car, lifting the car from Sven’s side slightly off the ground and letting it fall. It’s curious, Kristoff realizes, moving the car out of pure curiosity of what lies within.

If they stay completely still, it would move on without finding anything of worth...or so Kristoff can only hope.

He glanced up, being sure to not move to see the T-Rex’s massive head leaning against the car, seeming to peer inside from the glass roof before continuing its curious escapade. The creature’s eyes are massive, yellow orbs, and he gasped slightly as he realizes he is making eye contact with it.

Kristoff is looking into the eyes of a living, breathing, T-Rex and he isn’t sure if he should be thrilled or terrified at the thought.

There is a flash then, and Kristoff takes his eyes away from the T-Rex back to the front of the car. His eyes widen as he sees what seems to be a flashlight beaming out of the back of the front vehicle. He glances back to the T-Rex, hoping to god it doesn’t see the light.

His hopes are in vain as the beam hits its' face, shining right into its eye and it looks curiously at the source of the light.

Oh fuck.

“We gotta do something.” Kristoff whispered as the beast makes his way to the car, the flashlight continuing to shine through the back of the car, now waving back and forth from the back.

The creature's attention now turns away from them as the curious dinosaur makes its way over to the other car, Sven looks over to him, “What can we do?”

Kristoff looks around for a second, then dives into the back seat, remembering the goggles the kids found earlier.

“There might be something back here…” Kristoff said, scrambling to the back of the jeep. He chucks the bubble wrap away, pushing the random bits of junk away to reveal a case.

“Shit, hurry!” Sven calls from the front seat, and Kristoff turns in time to see the T-Rex jam its snout through the glass top of the front jeep, the kid’s screaming in pure terror. It does this for a moment, and then not getting what it was searching for, the T-Rex retracts his snout and turns to then placing its head against the car.

Kristoff watched, his eyes wide in horror as the T-Rex only has to shove the car twice before flipping it completely over.

He has to act quickly.

Kristoff whips back around, unclipping the case and opening it to find a flashlight, a fire extinguisher and what Kristoff had been hoping to find, four emergency flares.

He grabs one, taking a second to take a deep breath before doing what he is about to do. He climbs back to the front of the car, seeing the T-Rex now with one foot on the flipped car and what seems to be a piece of tire hanging from it’s teeth. He can see, even through the rain, the car is slowly being crushed and pressed into the mud. The one thing he can’t see are the kids who are still stuck within the car.

If the T-Rex didn’t move, if he didn’t act now, the car would be crushed along with the kids.

“What are you doing?” Sven asked.

Kristoff takes the flare and lights it, looking to the T-Rex.

Before he loses his nerves, he opens his door and stands in the rain. He raises his arms in the air, waving the flair back and forth as he then proceeds to yell, “HEY!”

The beast turns to him, his attention torn away from the still screaming kids, its eyes wide as it stares Kristoff down. Kristoff can only think of one thing as he stares wide eyed at the massive dinosaur, his heart thundering in his chest: he wasn’t going to be able to tell Anna about all of this as he had promised.

I’m sorry, Anna. He thinks, as the beast opens its mouth, teeth shining in the headlights of the car as it roars.

[maaaaarveeeeel]

They Can’t See Us If We Move

Summary: Alexander Pierce is in the process of opening a new park. However, after a horrible accident the safety of the park has raised some serious questions. Now, in order for his beloved park to open, he must get the opinions of three renowned experts, Dr. Steve Rogers, Dr. Bucky Barnes and Dr. Tony Stark, to sign off on the safety of the park. But what happens when everything doesn’t go as planned. And what happens when his grandchildren are in the middle of it all?

A/N: So I got excited and decided to post chapter 1 early. I’m going to work on this more tomorrow. Few things, anyone that only knows the movie you’ll notice I stole a lot of dialogue from it in this first chapter (I promise I don’t do that in the later ones, just this first part has a lot of science stuff that I’m not about to fake.) Anyone that knows both the book AND movie, I’m sure you can appreciate why I picked Pierce for Hammond (he was actually a huge ass in the book.) As for the deaths, remember this is an au, so just because it says “lives/dies both” doesn’t mean I’ll actually follow that, or have to. Enjooooooooooooy! (I’ll add tags and warnings as I post chapters)

Warnings: Only one in this is Pierce being an ass and slightly transphobic towards Bucky (it’s very subtle) 

Characters:

Grant (paleontologist, lives both)- Steve Rogers 

Ellie(paleobotanist, lives both)- James Buchanan Barnes (trans, woman to man)

Malcolm (chaotician, lives both)- Tony Stark

Hammond (InGen CEO, dies book, lives movie)- Alexander Pierce 

Muldoon (game warden, lives book, dies movie)- Sam Wilson 

Gennaro (lawyer lives book, dies movie)- Bruce Banner

Wu (chief geneticist, dies book, lives movie)- Dr. Stephen Strange 

Tim (kid dino knowledge, lives both)- Peter

Lex (kid hacker, lives both)- Morgan 

Arnold (chief engineer, dies both)- Nick Fury

Nedry (computer programer, dies both)- Brock Rumlow 

____________________________________

Chapter 1

Steve wiped the dirt off his face and gave a happy sigh as he looked down at the newly dug skeleton. It was a big find for them, an important one too. 

"They're ready to try again babe." 

Steve turned towards the voice and smiled. Bucky, his boyfriend, was walking towards him with a small smile on his face. He grunted and started walking towards the man, letting the diggers know where he was going. 

"Think it'll work this time?" Steve mumbled.

"One can only hope." Bucky sighed, rubbing Steve's back and kissing his cheek. 

As they approach where their team was set up Steve frowns. Some of the volunteers have, once again, brought their kids with them. He doesn't understand why they feel the need to bring them. It's not like the kids are allowed to do anything. The bones are far too fragile for them to be handling. In Steve's opinion they shouldn't even be here, but Bucky says if he wants the volunteers to come help he has to accept the kids. 

"Ready to try again?" One of the volunteers, he thinks his name is Clint, asks from where he's sitting in the chair. 

Steve just nods and turns where two others are standing with the machine. A moment later a loud noise, like a gunshot, echoes through the canyon. 

"How long does it usually take?" Bucky asks, looking at the screen.

"Should have an immediate response," Clint replies, "shoot the radar in the ground, then the image bounces back."

Suddenly the screen lights up with an image, and the group lets out sighs of relief. 

"Amazing," a volunteer shouths, "in a couple years we won't have to dig anymore."

Steve frowns at this. "Where's the fun in that?"

Bucky smiles and pats the man's arm before looking back at the screen. "Postmortem contraction of the posterior neck ligaments." He turns and looks at Steve. "Velociraptor?" 

"Yes, good shape too." Steve smiles and points at the screen, then frowns as it goes fuzzy. 

"What happened?" Clint asks. 

"Dr. Rogers isn't machine compatible." Bucky chuckles.

"They've got it in for me." Steve mumbles. "Look at the half-moon shaped bone. Hard to believe they never learned to fly." The group behind him laughed and he rolled his eyes before turning towards them. "Well, we've found that dinosaurs have more in common with present-day birds than they do reptiles. See, look at the pubic bone," he turns and points at the screen, "it's turned backwards, just like a bird. The vertebrae is full of hollows and air sacs, just like a bird."

A kid steps forward and looks at the screen then towards Steve with an unimpressed look. "That really doesn't look all that scary. It looks more like a six-foot turkey."

The group's eyes go wide and Bucky sighs. Steve's jaw clenches and he steps forward, eyeing the kid. 

"Alright. Let's try something. Try to imagine yourself in the Jurassic Period. You get your first look at the, what'd you call it? Oh yes, the six-foot turkey! As you move into a clearing, but the raptor, he knew you were there a long time ago. He moves like a bird; lightly, bobbing his head. You keep still, because you think that, like a T-rex, his visual acuity's based on movement, and he'll lose you if you don't move. You're wrong though. Not with a VELOCIRAPTOR. You stare at him, and he just stares right back at you. That's when the attack happens. Not from the front, oh no, from the side, from the other two raptors that you didn't even know were there." Steve walks around the kid and wipes his face. "See, Velociraptor's are pack hunters. They use coordinated attack patterns, and they'd slash at you with this," he takes a claw from his pocket and holds it in front of the kids face, "a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the middle toe. They don't bother to bite the jugular, like a lion, they just slash here," he uses the claw to fake slash at the kid's chest and thigh, "or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. Point is, you're alive when they start to eat you. So, you know, try to show a little respect." 

The kid held back tears and just nodded. Steve smiled then turned and started walking back to the dig site, Bucky close behind. 

"If you wanted to scare the kid you could've pulled a gun." Bucky chuckled. 

"You want one of those?" Steve snorted. 

"Not that one, but a breed of Dr. Rogers would be interesting." Bucky laughed. 

Steve stopped and looked at Bucky. "Buck, you're a man, you can't have kids."

Bucky smiled and leaned up and placed a small kiss on Steve's lips. "While I appreciate the endless support, I was born in a woman's body. Might as well make use of it." 

Steve snorted, but before he could say anything Bucky stopped him. "Women aren't just baby makers, I know Rogers. Don't get started, you know what I meant."

Steve rolled his eyes and opened his mouth but was cut off by the sound of a helicopter. The two spun around and started running towards the dig site. 

"Cover anything that's exposed!" Bucky shouts. 

Steve runs towards the helicopter and yells at the pilot that just stepped out, he just points to a trailer on the other side of camp. Steve then turns and runs there. 

He slams the door open and growls when he sees a man rummaging through the fridge. The man turns and smiles at him, popping the cork of a bottle of expensive champagne.

"Hey, we were saving that!" Steve growls. 

"For today, I guarantee it." The man says with a smile. 

Steve steps forward and points at the man's chest. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Alexander Pierce, and I'm pleased to finally meet you in person, Dr. Rogers." He shakes Steve's finger, then blows the dirt off and turns back towards the kitchen area. "I'm glad to see my fifty thousand a year is being well spent." 

The door slams open once more and Bucky walks in yelling about the asshole who just covered their bones. 

Steve quickly turns and grabs his arm. "Uh, this is our paleobotanist, Dr. James…"

"Barnes." Bucky finishes, raising an eyebrow at Steve. 

Pierce raises an eyebrow at that. "I thought Dr. Barnes was a woman?"

Bucky's jaw clenches. "I'm a man."

Pierce raises his eyebrows. "Well someone back at the company is going to get an earful for that one." He says as he pours the champagne in his cup. 

"Buck, this is Alexander Pierce." Steve whispers. 

Bucky's eyes go wide at this. "Um, hello Mr. Pierce, I'm sorry for my outburst-"

"It's fine," Pierce smiled, "I can't imagine my entrance was all that good. Anyhow, I'm in need of your assistance." Pierce offered a glass to Steve. 

"What kind?" Steve asked, accepting the glass. 

"Well, I'll get right to the point. I like you," he looked at Bucky," Both of you. I can tell instantly with people; it's a gift." He sipped his drink before continuing, "I own an island, off the coast of Costa Rica. Leased it from the government, and I've spent the last five years setting up a kind of a biological preserve down there. It's really spectacular.  I spared no expense." He sighed, and leaned against the sink. "No doubt that sooner or later our attractions will drive kids right out of their minds." 

"What are those?" Steve asked. 

"Small versions of adults, baby." Bucky chuckled. 

"Not just for kids, adults too. We have plans to open next year. If the damn lawyers don't kill me first. I don't like them. Do you?" Pierce laughed. 

Steve and Bucky looked at one another and shrugged. "We don't know any."

Pierce laughed again. "Count yourselves lucky. I have a particular one that represents my investors, and he says they insist on outside opinions."

"What kind?" Bucky asks. 

"Well, your kind." Pierce says. 

"Why would they care what we think?" Steve asks.

"Well, it's right up your alley. Why don't you both come down for the weekend? Have a look around? I'd love to have the opinion of a paleobotanist as well. I've got a plane standing by." 

Bucky and Steve looked at each other. They weren't all that impressed with the vague answer. 

"Now isn't really the best time. We just dug up a new skeleton." Steve said. 

"I could compensate you by fully funding your dig." Pierce said, pouring himself another drink. 

"This is an awfully unusual time…" Bucky mumbled.

"For a further three years." 

Bucky and Steve look at each other with wide eyes and smiles then instantly hug one another and cheer at this. Pierce smiled and sipped his drink when he heard Bucky ask where the plane was.

Tags (open):

@xblackboard-monitor-vimes

@buckyssbabyy

@honestly-dontknow

[obaewankenope]

Stegosawns and Time - Good Omens, Absconding with Harry verse ficlet

@murderandjam asked for me to write something with dinosaurs involved so, like a champ, I’ve done my best. Hope they, and ya’ll, like it.

//.//

Harry doesn’t particular care about dinosaurs, not really, but he’s a thirteen-year-old boy and dinosaurs are sort of A Thing for thirteen-year-old boys to be interested in. Well, according to Miss Hale, who runs the local corner shop with her husband of thirty-five years, at least.[1]

So, of course, Harry has to at least be interested in dinosaurs otherwise Miss Hale will make comments about his Uncle’s and Harry will want to cause a bit—a lot—of chaos in her shop, even though she’s very nice to him and only makes snide comments on Tuesdays.[2] It’s less because Harry wants to impress Miss Hale with his dinosaur knowledge and more that he wants to have information he can utilise against someone who seems to like making Comments about his Uncle’s lifestyles.

Harry is well-aware that he can be a petty child, but he does limit his pettiness to people who deserve a bit of Petty Childishness thrown in their overly opinionated faces. Thus, it follows that Harry learns the basic facts about dinosaurs, recites a couple to Miss Hale, adds a few titbits about the quantity of homosexual relationships in the animal kingdom and how there were probably queer dinosaurs—enjoying immensely the way Miss Hale’s smile freezes on her face at that—and that, if Harry were to choose a dinosaur to be, he’d choose a Psittacosaurus because “it looks really cute but I bet it can do a predator a whole lot of harm with those little tusks”.

Oddly enough, Miss Hale hasn’t asked if Harry is interested in things anymore and doesn’t seem interested in suggesting research topics for Harry to try and make a hobby out of.

Strange that.

[Keep Reading on AO3]

But, when Jurassic Park is released in the UK on 16th July 1993, the interest Harry has in dinosaurs reaches a more expected level for a thirteen-year-old boy to possess; basically, he becomes obsessed with dinosaurs that eat people.

Though, not quite in the way Miss Hale probably ever expected Harry to be interested in carnivores. Apparently, spending thirty-minutes ranting about dinosaurs being denied access to enrichment like zoo animals ought to have is not the “correct” response on the forum dedicated to All Things Jurassic Park.

When someone tells him to “read the book, dumbass” Harry has to log off and go for a fly on his broom. Cursing someone who lives on the other side of the planet for being obtuse and all-round rude isn’t something he should do; even if he really wants to.

The pulava dies down after a few weeks of Harry reading everything he can find about dinosaurs in the bookshop—strangely, Uncle ‘Zira’s collection on dinosaurs and palaeontology is quite limited—and the library, Harry heads back to Hogwarts with Hermione and Ron ending up being unwitting victims of his diatribes.

Well, Ron is an unwitting victim. Hermione looks like Christmas has come early and she doesn’t even celebrate Christmas except at Hogwarts.

“I know!” Hermione exclaims, nodding vigorously at what Harry’s saying on the topic of how dinosaur DNA just couldn’t survive that long without totally degrading. “It’s really obvious if you think about it, even my parents said the same and they’re dental hygienists, but the boys who live by my house ignored me when I told them.”

“Idiots,” Harry replies and Hermione smiles at him. “Frog DNA is really picky as well, like, you definitely have to be careful with it; not just randomly add it to some ancient DNA and expect everything to be all hunky-dory! How do people not realise this?”

Harry shakes his head. “I know it’s fiction and Hollywood magic,” he continues, “but really, it’s a stupid plot to have such awful mad science stuff.”

“The book is much better than the film,” Hermione says and Harry nods. “Though, I do like the actors and—if I ignore the inaccuracies and deviations from the book—it’s not an awful film. I just prefer the book.”

“Same.” Harry pauses.

“The T-Rex scenes were pretty great though, weren’t they?” he asks and Hermione nods.

“Oh Morgana, yes!” Hermione agrees, grinning. “I really enjoyed the car chase.”

“Me too!”

“Also, that nasty lawyer—”

“—oh yeah! He totally got what he deserved!”

Ron, throughout this entire rant and later gush-fest regarding Jurassic Park and dinosaurs, is silent until he finally can’t take it anymore; judging by the way he all-but bellows at Harry and Hermione.

“What the bloody hell is a dinosaur?”

It’s probably The Worst question Ron could have asked but Ron obviously has no idea what Harry and Hermione are going on about; and Ron has never liked not knowing what’s going on. That’s probably because he grew up with six brothers and a little sister and had to deal with so much happening that he didn’t have a clue about. Being out of the loop is something Ron doesn’t handle very well when it comes to his friends and that means Harry and Hermione have an Obligation to educate Ron on the subject of dinosaurs.

He’s probably going to regret asking, Harry thinks, but at least he’ll know something other purebloods won’t.[3]

By the time the train arrives at Hogsmeade, Ron has a basic understanding of what dinosaurs are; ancient lizards that enjoyed being ancient lizards eating things and being eaten. Mentioning Jurassic Park during the Education of Ron sends them off on a digression that sees Ron being very, very confused by DNA, genetics, theme parks, and corporate environments. This drives Hermione to promise to borrow Ron her copy of the book, citing that it’s much more in-depth than what Harry and Hermione have told him, and to write a list of things that he doesn’t understand when reading so she and Harry can help him understand just why theme park monsters are Bad.

Dinosaur-related learning falls to the wayside as term starts and things Happen throughout the year, but Harry still finds the chance to ask various purebloods about the topic; feeling very vindicated every time a pureblood looks at him like he’s a madman—which, to be fair, he is—or throws a bit of a wobbler at the prospect that muggles know something a pureblood doesn’t.

When Harry asks a Slytherin who is somewhat amiable to students in other houses, he’s surprised when they actually do know about dinosaurs; right up until he realises that they’re a half-blood and hiding the fact. That Slytherin turns out to be pretty delightful and Harry makes no comment on the fact that they use terms that only muggles use. He’s never known a single pureblood Slytherin to use the word thermos when referring to their coffee cup and he just knows they picked that up from muggles.[4]

Unfortunately, Harry doesn’t find out until later that Hermione wisely went and asked the Ravenclaw purebloods about dinosaurs and discovered a whole host of them knew at least something about them and palaeontology too. In the end, Harry loses the bet with Hermione and ends up knitting a whole load of hats for the House Elves—which are used as hats for the teapots rather than the Elves themselves, much to Hermione’s mild annoyance—which isn’t so bad and he at least learns a knew skill in the process.

Throughout all of this, the two come to a sort of unanimous decision that Hogwarts needs better education on non-magical things. Even if witches and wizards might not ever really need to know the names of carnivorous dinosaurs, it’s still useful to know stuff that muggles do so they can better blend in when they’re older.

The fact that it will also reduce the division between magical and non-magical is something neither quite realise until they’re much, much older.[5]

Arranging a sort of study group with students from all the years to get them to learn about things Not Related To Magic is less of a challenge than either of them realise; especially when Ron snorts and tells them to make out the whole thing is “too good for those stuck-up purebloods”. Spite and pride, it turns out, are really good motivators for learning things just to Prove You Can.

Even the Slytherin’s show up.

That leaves Harry and Hermione, and several other muggleborns and half-bloods, with the job of explaining evolution to a bunch of witches and wizards. It sounds like it should be a doddle, but there are certain purebloods that seem intent on making it beyond difficult.

Oddly enough, Malfoy isn’t one of them.

“That doesn’t make any sense, though!” Stephen Cornfoot—a Hufflepuff—says and Harry doesn’t roll his eyes, but it’s a near-thing.

“Environmental changes happen all the time,” Hermione says calmly, though the way her eyelid twitches slightly tells Harry—who’s stood right next to her—that she is definitely not calm. “Physiological adaptation is natural response for a creature. Humans have evolved from previous versions to what we are today, and we’re still evolving. What is there to not understand?”

“A lot, apparently,” Harry mutters under his breath and looks away from the glare Hermione throws at him. “You can change how you act to stuff, right?” He says, raising his voice to be heard by everyone in the room—all forty or so students. “I know a lot of have broken school rules before, and I also know a good number of us have avoided breaking them after the first time we got caught. Or broke the rules better and not got caught. Well, same sort of principle applies to evolution. But it’s a much, much longer scale of time. Instead of us learning to break the rules better and teaching the students after us—or our children, if any of us end up being parents—an animal can evolve over a hundred million years to become a better hunter, or avoid being hunted.”

“Newton Scamander even noted that magical creatures potentially underwent some evolutionary changes in their own history,” Hermione points out, and Cornfoot looks more convinced from that alone which, Harry will admit to himself, is pretty annoying. “You don’t think Kelpies have remained the size they are currently? Or as specifically adapted to marine living?”

Harry knows Hermione’s questions are rhetorical but the way Cornfoot blushes in embarrassment makes him reach out and place a hand on Hermione’s arm. He’s a little concerned she might hex Cornfoot for actually believing Kelpies haven’t evolved.

He’s not certain how he’s supposed to stop her from actually committing murder when Cornfoot—and others—seem to not believe in evolution as though they’re the most resistant of Christians, but Harry figures that so long as Hermione doesn’t do it in public and doesn’t get caught then it’s not something he needs to really worry about.

Probably.

They split the students up into groups that each of the volunteer muggleborns and half-bloods who are willing to Educate The Noble Purebloods About Basic Things take. Whilst this enables Harry to keep Hermione away from Cornfoot and his very strangle-able throat, it however, leaves Harry with Malfoy to deal with.

The things Harry does for his friends.

Uncle’s Crowley and Aziraphale show up about an hour into the Educating of Purebloods and, unfortunately, derail the entire thing with a very casual comment regarding the veracity of palaeontology.

“You’re telling them about dinosaurs?” Uncle Crowley asks and snorts. “Dinosaurs aren’t real.”

“Of course they are!” Hermione says in the sudden silence Harry’s uncle’s words have caused. “There’s over a century of detailed records and expeditions to look for new fossils. How can you even say otherwise?”

“Because they’re a big ol’ prank,” Uncle Crowley answers. “She made them that way.”

“She?” A Ravenclaw asks from Dean’s group.

“You know, God.” Harry’s uncle looks very unhappy to be explaining this but since he started it, Harry doesn’t feel the slightest bit sorry for him. “Thought it was a right laugh, I’m sure.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going- you know what? Fine, fine,” Hermione rambles and she looks a little frazzled; the way she does sometimes when Ginny’s friend, Luna mentions some creature from the Quibbler. “Have you any proof of this claim?” She asks in a measured tone.

Harry has a feeling that this discussion is going to get Nasty.

“Well, my memory, I guess,” Uncle Crowley says and points at Uncle ‘Zira. “And his.”

“You’re memory,” Hermione says flatly.

“Yep!”

“The Earth hasn’t existed long enough for dinosaurs to exist, anyway!” Uncle Crowley exclaims and Harry’s sure Hermione’s eyelid just twitched. “Only been around for six-thousand-years!”

“I see.” Hermione, if anything, manages to sound even flatter than she did before. “Right, that’s what you believe. Nice to know. But actual scientific research tells us the Earth is actually four-point-five billion years old, not six-thousand. And,” she continues, “dinosaurs lived as recently as sixty-six million years ago and as far two-hundred-and-forty-five million years ago. That’s based on intense, rigorous scientific experiments which are much more reliable than a heavily revised book written and re-written over the last two-thousand years.”

Harry doesn’t leave the room but he sure wants to. Judging by the expressions on a lot of the students in the room, they want to flee too.

“That’s part of the joke,” Uncle Crowley explains with a smirk. “Thought was right funny, She did. Bit unfair of Her, really, expecting you lot to ever figure out She punked you all with dinosaurs but—” he shrugs “—not a surprise, really. She’s like that.”

“Well, how do you know God made them as a prank?”

Harry looks across the room, eyebrows raised in surprise because that’s Malfoy.

“Huh?” Uncle Crowley looks at the Slytherin with raised eyebrows himself. “Whadya mean?”

“Well, if your memory is what you’re going on, then did you have a conversation with God about dinosaurs and time and all that other stuff Potter and Granger have been going on about?” Malfoy elaborates. “Did you actually ask… Her if dinosaurs are a joke or did you just assume based on something you thought you know?”

Harry has never seen Uncle Crowley look so very stumped about something and, although it’s probably a little—a lot—bad of him, he really enjoys the sight of it. Judging by the way he seems to be smiling a little at Uncle Crowley’s expression, Uncle ‘Zira enjoys it too.[6]

“Well, obviously not,” Uncle Crowley says. “I learnt it the hard way that asking Her stuff ends painfully. Just figured it was a joke because this dustball hasn’t existed that long.”

The amusement on Uncle ‘Zira’s face disappears. Uncle Crowley’s State of Affairs isn’t something Harry asks questions about but he can tell it’s not the greatest thing, bringing up their statuses as angel and demon.

“But how do you know Earth hasn’t?” Malfoy presses and Harry’s actually sort of impressed. Malfoy has been strangely strange the past year or so. He’s still a twit and a bigot, but he’s better than he was in the first year, for sure.

“We were there when She made it.”

Malfoy rolls his eyes. “And when did She make it? What date, exactly? What existed before She made Earth?”

“Six-thousand years ago, I’ve said this kid,” Uncle Crowley replies. “Four-thousand-and-four-BC. She made it after Heaven and Hell got set up. It was Her big thing. Caused a lot of ruckus up in Heaven when She announced it.”

“Wasn’t Hell created when angels fell, though?” Terry Boot asks, frowning. “I’ve read the Bible and the Torah and Qur’an. I’m pretty sure Hell came after the Earth was made.”

Uncle Crowley waves a hand. “Semantics, really,” he says, “time wasn’t a thing before Earth got shoved into being so Heaven and Hell both existed before and after this little dustball and solar system got set up.”

“If time ‘wasn’t a thing’,” Malfoy says, smirking in that smug way the Slytherin does that makes Harry want to hex him. “Then how do you really know how old the Earth is, or dinosaurs, when you’ve literally just said time didn’t exist before the Earth was made? I mean, what if God was making it for a long time before She just made it real? Like when performing alchemy; we don’t just make gold straight away; we build up to it.”

“No, no, no, that’s not what I said,” Uncle Crowley snaps and he looks annoyed now. Harry thinks it’s pretty amusing that he looks annoyed because he definitely said that.

“That is what you said, actually,” Hermione says and honestly, the fact that she’s siding with Malfoy really says it all. Uncle Crowley has lost this argument and should probably just concede now. “The only way your argument could be valid would be if time existed before Earth did and Hell after and only after. Since you’ve said that isn’t the case, then it can be assumed that time has been applied retrospectively and that means that, technically, dinosaurs did live between two-hundred-and-forty-five and sixty-six million years ago because time is a measurement used to determine change.”

The room is silent because Uncle Crowley isn’t responding to Malfoy or Hermione and Uncle ‘Zira has been content to stand back and let Uncle Crowley do the talking. Harry is content to just Not Get Involved.

“Maybe the joke isn’t for humanity, maybe it’s for you,” Luna Lovegood says into the silence. She sounds like she usually does; like she’s more interested in Other Things that other people know nothing about. She reminds him of his Uncle’s sometimes, the way she just zones out and seems to be listening to something Harry can’t hear. Right now, however, Luna doesn’t remind him of his Uncle’s; he doesn’t know what she reminds him of, only that it’s something Big and Important and Beyond Him. “Or perhaps it’s a test.”

Harry would like for this whole conversation to end now please because the whole afternoon is getting away from them and he really did want to go flying on his broom before it got too dark to see in front of his face. Unfortunately, like most things lately, that plan is now in shambles and he’s stuck in this sort of painful situation of watching his Uncle’s quietly—or not so quietly, in Uncle Crowley’s case—question everything they thought they knew.

Existential crises happen even to celestial beings, apparently.

“Who cares!” Ginny’s voice echoes around the room, loud and a little startling. The room at large sort of looks at her; she’s doesn’t appear to be bothered by that. “I want to know about these Stegosawns, Hermione mentioned; they sound wicked.”

That—Harry notes—breaks whatever strange tension has been steadily filling the room since his Uncle’s entered and the students start to mutter amongst themselves; obviously they agree with Ginny and would really like this conversation to end now, there’s way more interesting things to learn about, thanks.

Harry is all too happy to oblige.

“Stegosaurs, or Stegosaurus,” he corrects, giving Ginny a smile, “were herbivores that had armour-plating on their back and spikes on their tails. Definitely not something a predator wanted to fight if they were weak or injured. They probably weighed as much as a dragon and were probably as big, depending on the breed of dragon.”

“Woah, wicked,” Fred or George say and there’s a general murmur of agreement amongst the students. “Imagine running into one of those when out for a walk.”

“I think I’d prefer the dragon, actually,” a fourth-year Ravenclaw remarks to a smatter of laughter.

Harry sees his Uncle’s slink out of the room—well, Uncle Crowley slinks, Uncle ‘Zira just walks—and resolves to visit them later tonight. He thinks they might appreciate him there to distract them from whatever Thoughts Malfoy and Hermione have given them about their purpose and stuff. Gods know, Harry would appreciate the distraction if he were in their place.

But, for now, he has dinosaurs to talk about with some purebloods who seem much more enthusiastic about learning about giant lizards the size of dragons. He wonders how they’ll react to the Brontosaurus; it should be entertaining, at least.[7]

.

.

[1] To understand the expectation people, have for teenage boys to be interested in dinosaurs, you have to consider the fact that dinosaurs are viewed as something of a Violent and Bloody Topic fit only for Boys and Men. Why? Because society loves to treat girls like their only worth is to be found in looking pretty but being stupid and vapid. A girl with a personality or a brain must in want of a husband who can put her back into society’s True Woman Mold. Harry, thanks to his Uncle’s, isn’t in the slightest bit impressed with this tripe and, as such, takes great delight in learning about things Boys Shouldn’t Be Interested In as well as pushing Hermione and Ron’s sister, Ginny, to learn things Girls Shouldn’t Be Interested In. It’s very entertaining as well as educational.

[2] Why Tuesdays is anyone’s guess really, but it does serve to ensure that Harry knows what day of the week it is if he ever spontaneously forgets that Tuesdays exist.

[3] Harry places a bet with Hermione—ignoring her huffy comment about how she doesn’t “bet” even as she places said bet—that not a single pureblood at Hogwarts will know anything about dinosaurs. Hermione thinks Harry’s assumption regarding pureblood education simply must be wrong since there are magical creatures that could be living dinosaurs considering how old they are.

[4] The fact that Harry is only right about the Slytherin—Arnold Renard—being a half-blood rather than a pureblood is less because Harry possesses excellent deductive reasoning skills and more to do with the fact that he’s rather good at just guessing stuff about people. If he ever sat down and really thought about how he knows this stuff, Harry would discover that he actually does have good deductive reasoning skills but a rather poor working memory when it comes to recognising such deductions consciously.

[5] The realisation that they can quite literally affect the entirety of the British Wizarding World by talking about dinosaurs, science, astronomy, heck, even yoga is something of a revelation for the two. The long-term impact on pureblood rhetoric is most apparent by the next generation of magical children; and the impact is wonderful.

[6] Aziraphale enjoys the sight of Crowley looking so stumped but the actual topic of conversation is one that will bother Aziraphale for a long time to come. The idea that they don’t know exactly what She has planned. The idea that a child can ask such a question and reveal that they, angels and demons, are assuming so much; it’s terrifying because it means they could be wrong. Being wrong sounds like a dangerous thing to be when one is an angel, afterall.

[7] It is.

[thejeksburyguy]

I'm in love with your Hyde, could you tell me more about him? I loved him in that drawing!

The bastard has a fan already?? I'm Shook

(This might be a bit long, I apologize-)

So, the Hyde lad:

Emotional trauma is his middle name. In the original novella Hyde is all of Jekyll's repressed desires, and I thought, "Hey, why not also make Hyde his repressed trauma too??"

He and Jekyll aren't really seperate but also are?? Like, they treat each other as two seperate people and always say things like 'I can feel Hyde clawing to get out' and 'Jekyll won't stop my fun this time', but they can't interact like other J&H adaptations, notably The Glass Scientists by @arythusa and @thatsmyhyde 's delightful slimy boi and chunky grandpa (go check both of them out their stuff is really great). They're the same person. Kinda somewhere in between the original novella (where Hyde is just a disguise) and more modern adaptations (where Jekyll and Hyde have screaming matches at 3 am).

This version of Hyde belongs to a comic I'm trying to force myself to take seriously and actually finish, Against God's Will, which has a bunch of different gothic lit and sci-fi characters as the main group. Hyde works as the suspicious spy type character who nobody in the group actually trusts. In fact, a main goal of the group is helping Jekyll find a cure to get rid of Hyde once and for all.

Hyde can't bring himself to ever face the people who were important in his/Jekyll's life. If he so much as hears somone say 'Lawyer', 'Hastie', 'Old friend', etc., he will immediately grow aggressive and lash out, both verbally and physically. He actually craves comfort and close friendships but has never been given that on account of his uncanny valley appearance and generally crude and aggressive nature.

Hyde is actually pretty weak. He was made for running and hiding, not brawling, and suffers from poor health on account of his being artificially created, including a heart condition, a weak immune system, and a weak digestive system. Most things will get him sick to his stomach.

Hyde is the definition of those feral cats that get slowly won over by kindness but refuse to show it. The fact that he's in the same room as you is totally unintentional and has nothing to do with the fact he's fond of you, shUT UP—

Gets flustered really easily. Like, give him one (1) moment of positive attention and he will blush and actually wiggle with happiness.

Hyde likes soft things.

Hyde likes cute things like puppies, kittens, birds, etc.

For some weird reason no one can explain, the one thing Hyde can eat without getting sick is raw seafood. A majority of his diet is just slabs of raw fish and in case you're wondering, yes, he does fish like a cat and just pounce and swat at fish in running water.

Under his chin is his weak spot. Scritch under there and he will be putty in your hands.

Picking him up under the arms renders him completely immobile and he just goes limp. You know how when you pick up a cat, they just stick their arms straight out and let the rest of themself dangle? Yeah, that's Hyde.

He's nocturnal, sunlight genuinely hurts his eyes. This is possibly a side effect of only ever being let out at night during the first chunk of his life.

His eyes do the cat thing: angry = slitted pupils, curious = BIG pupils.

He can purr but it sounds really fucking creepy, like that video where they tried to replicate what a T-Rex would actually sound like.

As mentioned in the drawing, he gets physically ill at the sight of people being affectionate. It reminds him of everything he never had and has been promised he never will have.

He's extremely touch-starved and if you pat his head he will break down crying.

Reacts badly to being accused/yelled at (this ties into how his interaction with Sir Danvers Carew went down, and the subsequent manhunt for him).

If you're his friend, he'll be loyal to you for life. If you're his enemy, you will at some point lose at least a finger.

T e e f s.

Ya know that Mao Mao character from that cute cartoon, and how he does the shark-mouth thing when excited? Hyde does that only with more uncanny valley horror.

And last but not least,

His one wish in life is to be told 'I forgive you' by Lanyon and Utterson.

[thelearningcat]

One of the under appreciated aspects of the original Jurassic Park movie was the main character's pure amazement and appreciation in the beginning of the movie.

Jeff Goldblum (Malcolm) was really the only character who from the first moment showed skepticism, cynicism, and horror at the park. Sure eventually both dino experts agree with Malcolm's assertion over dinner, but even then they can't stop themselves from showing glee and interest as they see other dinos later.

Grant, Ellie, and Hammond (and to some extent, the children) show all the pure optimism and thrill in the beginning that most of us would show in that situation. Especially as a social scientist, I have always held a healthy dose of skepticism and cynicism when it comes to humans playing God, but there is no chance I wouldn't jump at the chance to see real live dinos. Heck, I've been to a ton of zoos, and I still squee at every exotic animals that I don't get to see elsewhere.

It is not easy to write a rich white man as good, or as any rich person in a movie, as purely good. Especially one where they specifically aided and abetted the protagonist (in this case by literally creating the killers). Certainly many movies try. Batman, Annie.. they all have well meaning rich guys doing good things with their money. But ultimately... their money comes from somewhere and is used for selfish reasons. But John Hammond? Never I have wanted to cry for the heartbreak of the rich guy before. He shows so much joy in 1, bringing other people joy, and 2, this marvelous creation he has brought into the world. He sincerely loves what he does. It helps a little that is disdains the lawyer (who is painted as the classical capitalist to properly counter Hammond's pure intent) and constantly throws around the phrase "spared no expense" to emphasize that while he had this money, he thinks of nothing to put it into this park he has so much pride and love in. His flaw was never that his intentions were bad, only that he was playing God when no man should or could.

Ellie and Grant share the same interest and amazement throughout the movie. They break when they are being attacked, but Grant even needs a teenager to break the spell of wonder while he watched a t-rex eat. As they constantly break out of the path to investigate further, we get a peak into what this park is- it's a scientist's dream, not an amusement park. As an amusement park, it fails on many accounts, but for the scientists, it takes a lot to break their intense passion for the things they never thought they ever see in person. You can't help but feel excited as the music crescendos with their first sight of a real dinos, but it's not just the music. It's their faces and their pure passion from the first moment they walked on screen.

All the other movies really lost this pure amazement. It was replaced with cynicism and capitalist greed/flaws. We see a little bit in the second with Malcolm's girlfriend and daughter, but for the most part, Malcolm's cynicism rules the screen. The third similarly follows Grant's behaviors. The family Grant accompanies lacks the pure amazement our first movie has, even the son who loved dinosaurs was too hardened by the time we get back to him to show that wide eyed amazement.

The two Jurassic World movies did their best to move forward while providing nods to the original, but even the characters that were supposed to love dinosaurs felt "over it". To some extent, it made sense with the plot, that world knew dinos existed for years. But you just can't replace the first movies contagious excitement. We the audience have never seen real dinosaurs. Even if the characters had by and large known dinos existed, many of them had never seen one in person and seeing an animal in person is just a different experience. Especially one so astronomically larger than you as well as being incredibly rare.

[imaginedilestrade]

65 million years in the making.

A/N: Second fic of the '90's marathon' week! I think this one is pretty self explanitory 😉

"I think we have hit the jackpot with his fossil!" You ecstatically squeaked as you carefully brushed away dust and dirt from a dinosaur skeleton.

Even though you couldn't see him, you felt Greg crouch next to you "I can't believe how intact it is. This is probably the best excavation I've ever been on." Greg stood back up and stretched out his legs, he helped you up too.

"I'm going to check how good the new tech is at scanning for bones," you smiled and walked off, Greg couldn't help but stare as you sauntered away.

He let out a long sigh but it was cut short when his face scrunched with confusion when he heard helicopter blades cut through the air. "Cover up the site!" He yelled and everyone frantically covered up the exposed bones. Greg was getting covered in dust as he approached the helicopter, telling the pilot to move but the pilot pointed in the direction of the camper.

Greg stormed towards it and burst open the door finding someone in the fridge "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" The man turned around and popped a bottle of champagne "We were saving that!"

"For today!" The man with white hair and a white, wiry beard smiled.

"Who the hell do you think you are?!" Greg angrily pointed at him.

"John Hammond and I'm finally delighted to meet you in person Doctor Lestrade!" Hammond shook Greg's finger and blew the excess duct on his hands away. He walked to the sink to find some glasses, leaving Greg in a shocked state. "I see my fifty thousand a year has been well spent!"

"Okay who's the idiot?!" You stormed into the camper, ready to unleash your wrath.

"Uh this is paleobotanist Doctor Y/L/N," Greg introduced you "Y/N, this is Mr Hammond..." Greg glared at you and you gulped, realising you had just insulted your biggest donor.

"I...uh...did say idiot?" You nervously chuckled and shook his hand. He offered you a drink and explained why he was at the site. He told you both that he had built a park, that he needed you and Greg to endorse the park to get the approval to open it. "Why would they need our opinions?" You asked with an unsure smile.

"Yeah," Greg added "What kind of park is this?"

"I assure you," Hammond smiled "It's right up your alley! Why don't you both come down at the weekend?" You and Greg opened your mouth to argue against going. You had just uncovered an excellent fossil and the timing was very awkward "I'd compensate your dig..." Hammond proposed "For another three years."

You looked up to Greg, both clinking your glasses together before he wrapped his arms around you and spun you on the spot, both of you screeching with happiness.

---

A few days later you found yourself being squished into a helicopter with Greg and Hammond and a few others. Hammond's lawyer and another doctor who happily introduced himself to you with a smouldering smile. "Ian Malcom, I'm a chaos theorist, mainly finding attraction in things but I'm sure you'd know all about attraction, right? Miss..."

You shook his head with a smirk, not letting him phase you with his flirtatiousness "Doctor Y/N Y/L/N." He raised a brow, impressed by your quick wit. He sat back and made himself comfortable just as the helicopter approached the island. It dipped a little and you gripped onto Greg's arm, forgetting to pull away even after the helicopter landed "Sorry..." you uttered with an apologetic smile noticing the red mark on Greg's arm.

"It's fine," he nervously smiled. The two of you, along with doctor Malcom, made your way to the car while Hammond and his lawyer followed in the car behind.

You drove passed a plant and gasped, quickly stretching your arm out to pull off a leaf "Greg...this..." you placed your free hand on your head "This plant sh-shouldn't be here! It hasn't been around since the cretaceous period!"

Out of the corner of his eye get spotted something moving. He turned his head slightly and his jaw dropped, he shakily took off his glasses and stood up. He couldn't hear a word you were saying. Greg tapped on your head "Wha-" he turned your head with his hand and you mirrored his facial expression. "O-oh my god..." the sight before you took your breath away.

A dinosaur.

At first you and Greg thought you were dreaming. You stumbled out the car and walked closer to the Brachiosaurus. Hammond approached the both of you with a proud smile. In the distance Greg spotted a heard of two other species in the distance and fell to the grass, completely taken aback "H-how did you do this?" Greg whispered.

Hammond replied "I'll show you."

---

You sat through a show explaining how Hammond created the dinosaurs, you caught a glimpse into the lab but you wanted to see more. You, Greg and Ian pushed up the bars on the seat and escaped the little informative ride and headed to the lab.

You gasped "Look!" You pointed over to a egg that was moving. It began to hatch "Is that...a velociraptor?" You raised a brow and noticed the uneasy look Greg was giving you before being handed the minute old dinosaur.

"Yes," Hammond nodded "We have many species in the park. Their life starts here if the lab, we have an embryo cold store just over there." He pointed over to the locked lab "Our scientists then fertilise the eggs, eventually creating life."

"It must be difficult when they get out in the wild," Ian spoke up "You have no control over their breeding."

"What do you mean?" A scientist, Dr Henry Wu, spoke up.

"Well surely they...yanno...procreate..." he made a vague gesture with his hands.

"They can't, all the dinosaurs are female. We've engineered them that way. We deny the chromosome at a certain stage of development that would produce male dinosaurs." Dr Henry explained.

You looked away from the dinosaur for a moment "You deny them?"

Ian couldn't help but smirk as he shook his head "Surely they find away around this. If life has taught us anything it's that life cannot be contained. Life always goes on."

Dr Henry smirked "Are you implying that a group of all female dinosaurs will reproduce?"

Ian shrugged "No, what I'm saying is life uh...finds a way."

You pondered over his words while having lunch, you wondered if this park was a good idea and Greg knew what you were thinking. He could tell by the look on your face. This park was simultaneously ahead of its time and out of time.

When Hammond's grandchildren, Timmy and Lex, arrived, you all went on a tour around the park. Greg was being pestered by them both. Timmy especially kept asking Greg a question one after the other, not giving him a chance to answer which made you laugh. You shared a car with Greg and Ian, you were in the front and the two boys were in the back.

The cars were driverless and they took you through a set of huge gates "What have they got in here?" Ian snorted "King Kong?"

You smirked and shook your head just as you arrived at the first paddock but you couldn't see any of the dinosaurs. You knew Greg was more disappointed than you, he was desperate to see one. You then approached the T. Rex paddock but again, saw nothing. They even attempted to lure it closer with a goat. Greg sighed "It doesn't want fed it wants to hunt!" He flopped his hands before placing them on the top of your seat with a small thud.

You sent him a small smile and placed your hand on top of his for a moment before pulling away with your heart pounding in your chest, like it had been revived by the spark you felt when his skin came into contact with yours. You looked back out the window before Ian opened his mouth "God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs." His brows furrowed with every word.

You smirked "Dinosaur eats man. Women inherits the earth."

The two men looked at you before glancing one another. The tour eventually continued and Ian...enlightened...you about what he actually did. "Show me that glass of water, I'm gonna do a little experiment with you right now." He took your hand and dipped his finger in the water before placing the drop of water on the tip of his finger on your hand.

He wiped away the drop of water after it trickled down your hand and forearm and an did the same thing again. Before he did, he asked you this time what way it would go, you told him to the left of you hand, the same way as before but it didn't. He then went on to explain about different variations in your hand and unpredictability. He mentioned the word 'unpredictable' just as Greg jumped out the car.

"Greg?" You jumped out after him and everyone followed suit. When you followed him to where he was going, you couldn't believe your eyes. A Triceratops.

Tears blurred your vision and you let a small sob of a laugh, completely and utterly overwhelmed by the animal. You kneeled down and placed your hand on it, tracing your fingers over its rough skin. Greg was in awe, he couldn't help but rest himself in the animal and listen to its heartbeat.

"What's the matter with it?" You asked the doctor who was on sight with the dinosaur.

"We aren't quite sure, that's what we are trying to establish."

Your eyes softened as you stroked its face, completely unfazed by the loud rumbles of thunder you had just heard. "I think we should get back to the car..." Hammond's lawyer announced and looked up.

"You guys go ahead," you looked up to everyone "I'm going to stay here for a little bit."

"You sure? Greg asked, staying put while everyone walked off.

"Yeah," you nodded and stood up "I'll catch up with you later." You placed a hand on his chest "Enjoy the rest of the tour, and don't get eaten!" You joked.

"The same thing applies to you!" Greg laughed died down as he gazed into your eyes "I'll see you later." You watched as he walked off and went back into the car just as the sky began to darken, momentarily lighting up from a flash of lightning.

---

When you had arrived back at the visitor centre your worst fears had set in "What's going on? What's happening?" You burst into the control room.

"We've lost all communications with them because of the storm!" Hammond explained. You walked up to the computers and saw the flashing warning signs. All the power was cut off. "The last known location of them was at the Tyrannosaurus paddock." You swallowed thickly, your heart felt like it was going to burst, break and shrivel up all at the same time. "My grandchildren, you have to get them!" Hammond pleaded with his expert wrangler, Robert Muldoon.

He nodded and grabbed his hat "I'm going with him!" You announced and didn't wait for protesting voices, grabbing a jacket on the way to the car. You couldn't shake the horrendous feeling in the pit of your stomach. What if Greg was dead? What if he was killed and you didn't have the chance to tell him how you really felt? You shook away those thoughts and fears. You couldn't think like that. You had to stay positive. Although that was becoming increasingly harder to do as you approached the T. Rex paddock and noticed all the wires keeping the thing in were gone.

You looked around for any sign of Greg but there was nothing. Under some leaves you heard a groan and found a badly hurt Ian. "Ian? Ian!" You tapped his face.

"Remind me to thank Hammond for a lovely weekend..." he sarcastically retorted. You rolled your eyes, knowing he was sure to be back to his normal self in no time.

"Is here any chance we can move him?" You asked Robert.

In the distance you heard the spine chilling roar of the T.Rex and suddenly Ian sat up "There's a chance." You and Robert supported either side of him and took him to the car, placing in in the back of the open jeep before you jogged a few yards to look for Greg again, there was every chance he could be in the same situation as you found Ian in. You heard the same roar, it sounded closer than before. "Y/N, we have got to go!" Robert called you back. You let out a small, disappointed gruff before noticing the other car.

You hurried towards it and called out Greg's name but there was no sign of him or Hammond's grandchildren. You moved your flashlight around and noticed three sets of footprints. They were alive. You let out a massive sigh of relief and your whole body eased for a moment before tensing when you heard your name being shrieked. You ran back to the car and rejoined Ian and Robert, you were just in it when out of the trees emerged the T. Rex.

You turned around, which was a stupid move on your part, you wished you hadn't, and screamed. "Shit! Go faster!" You slapped Roberts arm "Go faster!"

Ian fell back on you as the dinosaur nudged the jeep with its head, both of you screaming just as loud as the roar coming from the T. Rex. Eventually it slowed and Robert managed to dive off with everyone still in one piece. When you got back to the visitor centre you gave Ian a shot of morphine to ease his pain "The last I saw Greg and the kids were okay, he never stopped talking about you when you stayed behind with that Triceratops yanno."

You sent him a thin smile before raising his leg slightly and leaving him to rest. You joined Hammond in the dining area where he was surrounded with ice cream. "They were all melting," he weakly chuckled before letting out a sigh "This has been a disaster." You agreed with him, the park was amazing at first but now it was nothing short of a nightmare. "I just wanted to give everyone a real experience, no illusions. I wanted to do something that had never been attempted before."

"Isn't this just an illusion? It was just a wild dream!" You unintentionally snapped "People have died. You cannot attempt to bring back the past!"

Hammond huffed "And now I'm paying the price."

You grabbed a spoon and had a mouthful of ice cream as you thought of Greg "We both are."

---

Greg climbed over fallen tree trunks and helped Timmy and Lex over the ones that were a little too high for them. That was when he spotted eggs. "Malcom was right," Greg tiredly rubbed his face "Some species of frog can change sex in environments where there are overwhelming amount of creatures of the same sex. They used frog DNA to complete the gene code. Life found a way."

Greg and the two kids then delved deeper into the forest, trying to find their way back to the compound.

---

Mr Arnold, a technician at the park who was trapped with you and the others, shut down all the systems and tried turning them back on again. The computers had rebooted but everything else, including all the lights, were still off.

"I'll go over to the maintenance shed and turn it on manually from there. That should reset the circuit breaker. I can have the power on in three minutes." Mr Arnold spoke up.

"Well until you get back, I suggest we all go into the emergency bunker. Just to be safe." Hammond lead you all off while Mr Arnold when in the opposite direction, outside.

Twenty minutes later, you were still waiting "Something's wrong..."

"Y/N's right," Ian spoke up from where he was resting on the table.

Hammond scoffed "Delays happen! Did you know the opening of Disneyland was delayed? Everything broke down!"

"Yeah but when the Pirates of the Caribbean ride breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists!" Ian snapped before wincing from the pain in his leg.

You were pacing about "I-I have to do something. I have to go over. I can't take it anymore!"

"It's not just a nice stroll down the road," Robert warned before getting a gun and loading it "I'm going with you."

You grabbed a walkie-talkie, one for you and one for Hammond who was looking over the blueprints "This isn't going to be like turning on your lights in the house but I think I can walk you through it." You sent him a nervous smile "It should really be me that's going."

"Why?" You asked with a furrowed eyebrow.

"Well I'm a...and you're a...." he trailed off.

You rolled your eyes, unimpressed "Look, we can discuss sexism in survival situations when I get back." You glared at him before leaving with Robert. When you got outside, you felt incredibly uneasy, like there was something constantly watching you. Approaching the bushes, you climbed over trees and let out a small breath of relief seeing the shed up ahead. "We can make it if we run..." you told Robert who was frozen on the spot.

"We can't," he whispered, you asked him why "Because we're being hunted..." your whole body tensed and you looked about, it felt like everything in the trees and bushes was moving. "You run towards he shed. I've got her. Go! Now!" You ran as fast as your legs could take you, jumping over logs and swinging over them until you reached the shed and slammed the door shut. You tried to catch your breath as you put on your torch.

"Okay," you spoke to Hammond and Ian "I'm in." They led you through to the main power box and you switched on all the buttons. One by one, the lights came on "I think we're back in busi-ahhhhhh!" Your scream burst from your chest seeing a velociraptor come through the wires. You ran out and closed the cage door behind you but the raptor lunged towards you and nocked you down. You were quick to act and used your feet to shut over the door, the raptors roar mixing with your scream. You couldn't even hear Ian and Hammond shouting, asking what was happening. You stumbled back towards the wall and screamed again feeling something heavy on your shoulder, glancing down you noticed it was Mr Arnold. Letting out a sigh of relief you taped his hand...before it and his arm fell on you. Letting out a strained scream you pushed away the body part and ran out of the shed, crashing your back against the door and tiredly sobbing against the door. You knew you could hang about and hurried back to the complex.

As you stumbled up the small hill you heard your name being called out. Your eyes squeezed shut, wondering if it was just a dream.

It wasn't.

You spotted his hat first and then almost burst into tears seeing him standing in front of you and apart from a few cuts and bruises, he seemed okay. "Y/N!" Greg's whole face lit up with a smile. You ran towards him, he held his arms out to hug you but you had other ideas and took him completely by surprise when you crashed your lips against his. It was quick, you didn't really have the time. "Let's continue that later," Greg smirked before it fell hearing the call of the raptors.

He grabbed your hand and took you back into the compound where you got Lex and Timmy. You were about to run outside but we're cornered by four raptors. Your hand found Greg's and held it tightly, Greg could feel your heart racing under your skin. Suddenly, out of nowhere, the T. Rex burst though the brick wall. The raptors who were now distracted by the larger dinosaur, meant you had the chance to run for it. The four of you raced to the car Hammond was driving with Ian in the back. Hammond had called in for a helicopter which was waiting in the same area it dropped you off. When you were up in the air, you could finally calm down and breathe. "Perhaps instead of a wild weekend, you two should take a romantic one..." Ian teased and glanced between both you and Greg "Although, after spending the last few days with Y/N, I think you'd be in for a wild weekend anyway Greg!" You nudged his side causing the chaos theorist to flinch. Greg rolled his eyes with a smirk at the comment.

"Got to admit Y/N," Greg spoke up, being careful not to wake a sleeping Lex and Timmy "I thought I would turn into a fossil first before that happened back there."

Ian sat up a little straighter "What? What happened? What did I miss?!"

You smirked and leaned over slightly to Greg, cupping the back of his neck and passionately kissing him for a few seconds before turning to Ian who was gaping.

"That..." you proudly smiled "Even if it did feel like it took 65 million years to finally happen."

---------------------

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[swan2swan]

Do you think the plot of Jurassic Park would be significantly different if the Tyrannosaurs had their 'historical' growth rates, rather than the 5 year old Rexy already being fully adult in size? She would have only hit her adolescent growth spurt in about 2002, which would have her double in size in about four years. And what about her lifespan-how long before old age sets in on a genetically engineered tyrannosaur?

Who’s to say T. Rex didn’t grow to full size in five years in the Jurassic-verse? Velociraptor lived in the Badlands and was five feet tall, blood was preserved in amber, T. Rex could run at thirty-two miles per hour, dilophosaurs were six feet tall and frilled, and pachycephalosaurus could ram a truck without telescoping her neck down. The Jurassic verse is drastically different than the real world.

That being said, it would be hilarious to see the disappointment on everyone’s face when they realized that it was only a twelve-foot-long baby rex (though it would be terrifyingly impressive if she could clock thirty-two). But she’d go and clamber through the wires of the fence, hop between the cars, roar, and maybe smash her head through the windows. Still, she could probably take down a couple of two-foot raptors in the same way that she did at the end. 

As for her lifespan, they talked about it in the recent movie: we just don’t know how long Rexy’s going to live. If they want Rexy to live for six more sequels, they can do it, and just say “Well YOU’RE still alive, how do you explain THAT?” when anyone questions this. Healthcare and goats do wonders for the body. Also I’m pretty sure that eating a corporate defense lawyer grants you an automatic twenty-year life extension. It’s just the rules.

[phoenixwrites]

I finally saw Fallen Kingdom today!! I've decided that in the ending montage of the dinos escaping the t-rex and mosasaurus were looking for each other lol. The next movie will be a road trip buddy comedy where Rexy enlists chris pratt to find her girlfriend, while the mosasaur and blue chill at the beach no one dies it'll be awesome

I like you, keep sitting next to me, you’re fun.  Rexy and the mosasaurus…what a relationship.  

I mean I need Blue and Rexy to eat at least ONE capitalist lawyer dumbass hunter person otherwise why am I here?!  I sign up for dinosaurs and dinosaurs eating people and then I write inappropriate relationships between humans and raptors.  That’s just how it is.  

[kariachi]

Am watching The Lost World and honestly I can only really register that last look from the T Rex as "Awww, that's my boy" when the baby eats the lawyer guy.

He was just so proud. Baby’s First Kill.

[blankdblank]

Baker Pt 5

Baker Modern AU - Pt 5 Tag - @himoverflowers

 - snuggles, Durins leaving your side, Ooh no, whose arms are you in now?! Jealous Thorin, only for a flash though. Then back home finally, writing the hospital bits didn’t go down exactly how I pictured it, hard to translate it from the story in my mind to the page sometimes - 

…

Through the next day it was more of the same, rotating shifts for naps, but the children only stayed for a few hours before heading back home with Faramir to help watch them. As they came in to take out your central IV line you asked everyone to leave, managing to get Thorin and the Durins to take their first break from your side as Mo was taken for a scan with Denethor joining him.

All heading down to the cafeteria with your Brothers as Dewey drove your nieces and nephews and Bilbo and Bell to get the burgers and fries they demanded. They strolled to the elevator, Boromir chuckled as he caught Thorin’s concerned look, “Don’t worry she’ll be fine, won’t take long.” Patting him on the back as Faramir said, “Besides, I saw it the first time and I blacked out, not like a normal IV, just needs a few minutes to herself for it.”

Thorin, “Can’t be that bad.”

Fili, “You didn’t see the needle they used to put it in.” Thorin glanced over at him seeing Kili holding his fingers several inches apart making his heart drop for a moment.

Dwalin grunted as he swung his arm over Thorin’s shoulders, “Just breathe, won’t take long.”

As they stood in line for the sub sandwich shop Boromir started telling stories about you growing up. That began with a story about you falling face first from a tree, “Enjoy her being still while it lasts, she’s a force of nature, never stops. One time when we were little she fell from a large tree in our yard, just Bam, out cold, took her to the hospital. When they took her for some tests we went to get her a pudding cup from the cafeteria for when she woke up, we were gone ten minutes, she popped up thinking we were playing hide and seek, when we got back she had a hoard of staff chasing her around the floor.

Ever since she could crawl nothing could stop her from charging at the world, I will say one thing though, when you have your first fight. Not just over some movie or book or what sport or  tea you prefer, I mean your first no holds barred knuckles out teeth barred shouting match fights. My advice, take shelter. Because she is her mother times fifty, she could glare at a tree and it would move, she may be small but she’s incredible at finding weak points and she will not hold back.

She rarely snaps, but after her thousandth time of letting something go and she decides to strike back it’s not to wound someone. My brother and I, now we can get in the face of anyone and shout them down all day long, one after another, but Jaqi, she gets this look in her eye and you’re just done, you just hand it over to her because you know you’ve lost without her saying a word. I hope you only see it as a bystander, but if you do ever have a fight like that, spare yourself the drawn out loss, just claim it right away, she’s not one to hold it over you after she wins, just learn from it or she’ll dig at it again.”

Thorin smirked, “I hope I get to see that someday, not aimed at me of course.”

Faramir chuckled, “Oh then you should see the tapes we’ve got of her from her Law school debate team. Oh she just destroyed them, I think you’re on one of them too.”

The Durins all looked at your brothers as Thorin asked, “She went to Law school?”

They both chuckled as Boromir said, “Ya, got perfect scores, even better than we did.”

Faramir, “Same years as us, skipped a bunch of grades in school. Graduated at 16.”

Dwalin, “Did she pass the Bar Exam?”

Boromir/Faramir, “Perfect score.” With large grins.

Kili, “Then why isn’t she a lawyer?”

Boromir chuckled again, “She is, works in our office, mostly does mediation cases. Only a few days a week though, she’s our last ditch person when we it seems like a lost cause.”

Faramir, “You heard of the Dragon Woman in charge of the Paralegals last year?”

Thorin and Dwalin both chuckled as Dwalin said, “That was her? She sent them all over the building searching for something that doesn’t even exist.”

Boromir, “Well if they had paid attention to the beginning of her lecture they would have known that. Only one of them got it and it took him four hours to figure it out.”

Thorin, “They went around asking for signatures for days after that, I had to turn away at least 12 of them.”

All giving their orders and yours before turning back as they shared more stories about you, all chuckling as they slipped back in the room, smiling at you both as you colored with Mo as you were propped up on your stack of pillows. Both of you happily taking your sandwiches and slowly eating them as you nursed back some pickle juice to keep it down, accepting another kiss on the cheek from Thorin as he sat beside you glancing at your drawings as he ate his meal before he wrapped his arm around you as you kept nursing yours.

When the others got back they piled all the food out on your bed and shared their mountain of fries with you as the Durins chuckled at your nieces who kept blushing as they looked at them with large smiles. The Doctor came in shortly after you’d all cleaned up your trash from your meal, smiling at you as he said Mo’s results were good and he would be clear to go home later that day as a nurse took him for one last scan.

The children were all taken to look at the large exotic fish tank in the hall as a nurse came in to change your bandages, they all stepped back to give her room as she lowered your bed as you laid on your stomach. Their eyes ran over the massive bruise around the large bandage on the back of your left hip as your gown was pulled open. She gently folded down your underwear band an unpeeled the bandage that revealed the four deep black circular bruises marking the injection site. Surrounded by a deep purple bruise that went from the base of your ribs on your back branching out over your side, across your left butt cheek and nearly down to your knee on the outer and back portion of your left thigh. She quickly wiped the healed puncture sight with an alcohol wipe before covering it with a new bandage as she said, “After Mo leaves we should start your leech therapy for these bruises. Is that alright?”

You nodded, “Sounds good.”

Fili/Kili, “Leeches?”

Nurse, “They drain the blood from the bruises, help to heal it faster.”

Thorin, “Do they hurt?”

“Just a pinch at first, kind of like a mosquito bite.”

You were covered and helped back up against your stack of pillows again as Mo was being brought back to the room, happily snuggling into your lap again as he hugged you, “Thank you for curing my cancer Aunti Bunny!”

You giggled and pressed your forehead against his saying, “Anything, Always.” Hearing him giggle again as he hugged you again. Bo, Billie and Moira quickly jumping on the bed, hugging you and thanking you as well, coloring with you until Mo was discharged and allowed to go home.

..

Bilbo and Dewey both hugged you saying they’d manage the place for the next day and for you to rest as long as you needed as they helped your brothers and your father take the children back home, that allowed you some alone time with the Durins when you were moved to a smaller room down the hall.

Fili and Kili both turned on the small TV as you fought against another shiver, smiling as the nurse came in with the leeches, rolling over again with help and letting her attach the leeches across your bruise. The Durins chuckled as they watched the small creatures grow, each gently tapping them at least once before Dwalin asked if he could snap a picture, Thorin quickly covered what he could of your ass with his jacket, allowing him to only get a picture of your bruise and the leeches.

As the nurse left Thorin purred into your ear so you could only hear, “You must really like T-Rexes. They’re on your panties and your knee highs.”

You let out a quiet chuckle before smirking at him, “They’re for luck, we’ve done it each time I’ve donated marrow.”

Thorin raised an eyebrow, “How many times?”

“Three, Bell, Bo and now Mo, but with Bell she needed platelets and a liver too, Bilbo was a match for the liver, so I did the rest, that time hurt the most.” A look of concern ran across his face and you quickly grabbed his chin pulling him closer for a kiss, “None of that.”

He smiled and stole another kiss before sliding his hand across your cheek, “If there’s a next time, please tell me.”

“Hopefully there won’t be.”

He nodded and kissed you again and whispered, “Hopefully.”

When the nurse returned she had taken the leeches away and covered you back up and helped you back onto your side as you fought another shiver from being uncovered in the cold room for so long. Dwalin covered you as Thorin curled around your back holding you tightly as he kissed your shoulder letting you rest, chuckling as you asked, “How are you always so warm?”

“It runs in my family.”

Fili, “If you’re still cold we can join you.” Making you giggle as you snuggled closer against Thorin’s chest. You fell asleep shortly after, feeling another bag being switched out as you slept and grumbling as the medications for your platelets were added to your IV forcing another sting through your body that made Thorin tighten his grip around you in hope of calming you. You relaxed in his arms again to his kiss on your shoulder again as you slipped deeper into sleep again. You woke the next morning to another loud round of snores from Dwalin who’d fallen asleep on the bench built in next to the window, with another person wrapped around your front and another on your legs keeping you in a tight cocoon.

And lowly groaned again as you felt something pressing against your sore hip. Forcing back a whimper you tried to squirm into a better position, and heard Thorin let out a grunt and move it for you before curling around you tighter again quietly asking, “Better?”

You nodded taking in a shaky breath as you pressed your sore hip against his again trying to stop the aching, “It’ll go away.”

He glanced down at you, “Want me to call the nurse?”

“No.” Sliding your hand across his arm to pull him closer again as he kissed your cheek and you felt his nephew shift closer to you taking up the few inches you’d cleared. Nearly an hour later you shifted sideways to rest against Thorin’s chest and laid your bent legs over Kili’s side as he rested his head on your shoulder, Fili curled up on his back resting his head along your thighs after a few minutes of finding a spot that wouldn’t hurt you. Watching the court TV shows, the only shows in a language you all spoke, with laughs as each of the ridiculous cases came on, your hip pain finally stopped throbbing after a few hours, and finally allowed you to relax in your pile of Durins.

Dwalin let out a grunt as he pulled out his phone as it chimed then glanced over at Thorin, “Dad got called back, they need us in court in an hour.”

Thorin let out a grumble and rubbed his forehead as you glanced up at him, “If you have to go then go, I’ll be heading for my platelet donations soon anyway, it’d be another long wait in an empty room for you all.”

His eyes met yours with a deep remorse in them, “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” And sweetly gave you another kiss before gently pulling himself out from under you. Fili slid into his place making you giggle as he shot you a wink then glance up at Thorin who ran his hand through his hair as he looked at you before pulling on his coat, giving you a quick smile before huffing and heading out the door. You gave a small wave to Dwalin who gave you a quick nod and rubbed your leg before he followed after his cousin.

You settled into your new cocoon as Fili awkwardly moved his arm up and down above your side trying to remember where your bruise was so he wouldn’t hurt you, giggling again you grabbed his arm and settled it in a safe spot and they wiggled closer as you said, “It really must a Durin thing, you’re living furnaces.” Making both of them chuckle and snuggle closer, staying in that position for a while until you tried to sit up and they helped you to your feet, holding their hands on you to steady you as you fought back a groan as your hip pulsed at your standing. Taking in a few breaths before heading to the bathroom, letting them walk you to the wall near the toilet before making them leave. Fili glanced at his phone for the time after a few minutes, wondering how long you would be, both of them looking at the closed door between them as they heard you say, “damnit.”

Kili, “You alright?”

“Ya, just damnit.” Hearing the toilet flush and your groan, “Can you help me to the sink?”

They both came in to see your face twisted in pain as you leaned on your right hip completely seeing the thin layer of sweat forming on your forehead. Both slid under an arm and took your weight to walk you to the sink then set you down again and keeping your weight on them as you washed your hands and wet your face and neck before drying off, letting out a pained breath, “Getting down was easy, getting up is so much more difficult.”

Fili chuckled, “That’s what we’re here for.”

Kili nodded, “How much do you eat, I could hold you with one arm if you weren’t so bruised.”

“A lot actually.”

Fili, “Well when you’re home we’ll be sure to keep the food flowing, can’t have you going hungry when you’re on bed rest.” They slowly turned you as Kili grabbed your IV stand and carried you back to bed.

Kili, “How long are you taking off anyway?”

“Two days after I’m discharged, but the day after I’ll have to start preparing the deserts for my first day back, big meeting.” Groaning again as they lowered you onto the bed and curled back around you.

Fili, “Why would you go back so soon?”

“The pain gets better after a few days, then it’s just the bruise after that.”

Kili, “Still, you need your rest.”

“I’ll be fine, I’ve worked through worse.”

Fili, “Well Thorin will have something to say about that.”

“I’m sure he will, but work is work.”

Kili, “He’ll be back as soon as he can you know.”

Fili, “Ya if it was any other Judge he’d make Dwalin go alone.”

You giggled, “I’m not mad about it, I get it, my whole family works in Law remember?”

…

The nurse came in shortly after to take you for your donation, just as Kili’s phone lit up and his face dropped as he looked up at Fili, “Our Professor called Great Grandpa, he wants us to get home now. He sent a car, it’s downstairs.”

You looked between them, “Go ahead, I’m good, my brother should be coming soon.”

Fili rubbed the back of his neck then quickly gave you a hug as Kili did the same, Fili pulled back and said, “We’ll try to get back soon.”

You smiled up at them, “I’ll be fine go.” They reluctantly nodded and left with their heads down slightly scared at what Thror would say.

You grit your teeth through the donation as you had to lay back on your sore hip for nearly two hours before being rolled back to your room. As soon as the nurse shut the door behind her leaving you in the empty room you gripped your pillow and took in a gasping breath, curling around your pillow burying your face into it and sobbed as your throbbing pain coursed through your body from your hip. The tears finally stopped leaving you to flip your pillow and wipe your cheeks and turn back to the small tv that you turned back on, using your tear stained pillow and the others to prop you up after whimpering and shivering as you sat back up as you raised the back of your bed to a comfortable position.

.

After a few hours your door opened as you saw a familiar tall blonde man enter the room giving you a large smile, “JackRabbit.” Heading over to you and wiping your cheeks, “They had you flat?”

You nodded, “Nearly two hours.” He kissed your forehead and grabbed your chart giving it a quick read, “Well your numbers have jumped back much faster than last time, maybe you’ll get out by noon tomorrow.”

Your eyes darted to the door as a nurse came in with a bag of blood for you, quickly attaching it and smiling at Eomer as she left, “Didn’t you date her?”

He chuckled, “No, she’s the one who tried to crash your birthday last year.”

You nodded, “Oh, that one.” Quietly chuckling as he let out a quick laugh.

“Eowyn’s off in an hour, then she’ll be up. She’s..”

“It’s not a problem. She saw the worst of it last year.” He walked around propping you up so he could curl around you, “Heard about your boyfriend, he did get that part correct right? Boyfriend?”

“Ya, I know it’s a bit sudden for the title…”

He chuckled, “It’s not if you want him to be, you like him?”

You snuggled closer into his chest as he curled his arm around your middle, “I really do.”

“Did you hear Curufin came by?”

“I saw the twitch on Dad’s face, figured it was him. Did they tell him about Celery?”

“Ya.”

You let out a sigh, “At least I won’t have to.”

Eomer chuckled and kissed your forehead as he rested his head against yours looking at the show that was playing.

…

Thorin and Dwalin got back from the courthouse still in their suits from changing in the small bathroom in the courthouse before the four hours of time they wasted there, breaking only as the judge called it a day. Having achieved nothing at all, both glaring at the familiar car pulling up and seeing their stunned nephews as they stepped out of their car.

Thorin took in a deep breath as Fili and Kili hurried to his side quickly explaining why they had left, Thorin replied, “Then who’s with Jaqi?”

Fili, “She said her brother was coming after her donation.”

Dwalin slid his hand on Thorin’s shoulder, “Let’s just go up.”

.

The four of them heading back up to your room and froze in the doorway hearing a grumble coming from Thorin as he saw you curled in a large blonde man’s arms, slipping through his nephews he opened the door and headed inside keeping his eyes on your pale face as you napped. His eyes darted up to the man as he looked over at Thorin with a smile, gently lifting his hand under you unable to move his other as you were wrapped around it, “Eomer, I’m Eowyn’s brother.”

Thorin stopped at your side accepting his restricted handshake before releasing it feeling his body unclench, “Faramir’s fiancé?”

Eomer nodded, “She should be back soon, went to grab some food, we just got off our shifts, then she’s heading home with Faramir when he’s done with his work.”

The Durins relaxed and took their seats around you in the empty chairs as Fili asked, “So what do you do?”

Eomer, “I’m a cardio surgeon, just got off a 24 hr shift, Eowyn’s a peds surgeon, took an extra shift too so she could keep an ear out for Jaqi.”

Kili, “Why didn’t she drop by sooner?”

“Last time Jaqi’s heart stopped, Eowyn had to do compressions till the nurses rushed in. She wasn’t ready to see the whole donation process again, but she did keep up with her, we all did, our Uncle and my cousin Theodred work here as well, we’ve been texting out the progress to the family. She’s doing a lot better this time, made sure to get plenty of extra blood for her on their visits.”

Thorin, “Her heart really stopped?”

Eomer, “They did the 2nd donation after. Her numbers weren’t high enough and it thinned out her blood too much, she should be able to get home much earlier this time.”

Another nurse came in with another bag of blood for you, waking you as she dropped the tray in her arms quietly apologizing as she grabbed it and left, you smiled up at Thorin eyeing his suit as you raised your head slightly, “New suit?”

He chuckled as he leaned in to kiss your forehead, “Just never wear it.”

“Hmm.” Glancing over at Dwalin who smirked as he saw you eying his suit, standing and spinning for you and stopping in a modeling pose, making you giggle, as he said, “Mine’s new.”

“Well you both look great.” Glancing back to Thorin who was smiling at you as he loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button on his shirt, “How did it go?”

Thorin, “Waste of time, nothing but more attempts at drawing out the case, nothing but excuses.”

Dwalin, “The currier was robbed, I changed my address, I didn’t even cancel the lease, that one was my favorite, we’ve got him on camera accepting the damn thing and a copy of his signature on the receipt with his prints as well.”

“You should ask for Judge Elrond to be placed on it, they’ll never try it again once he starts challenging them.”

Thorin chuckled, “We would if we could, but he’s out in Rivendell for the month.”

“Mmm, right his golfing thing with Senator Sarumon.”

Thorin’s eyebrows pressed together as his head tilted slightly to the side, “Golfing with a Senator?”

“Mhmm, he’s his old foster parent, keeps him agile as he puts it, but they always end up gardening and watching football.”

He leaned back again, “How do you know all this?”

“Well Elrond’s daughter is dating Aragorn who works with my brothers, he’s supposed to be dropping by in the morning. If not he’ll come by the apartment when I get back, something about a robbery trial and color coated files in the wrong order.”

Thorin, “You must know everyone in our field then?”

“Mostly, or at least something about everyone.” The door opened again as Eowyn arrived with a large bag of food and happily spread it out for you on the rolling table as Eomer and Thorin helped you back to sitting upright against the pillows.

…

Your last night went mostly the same, Eomer headed home for the night, after getting a message from your brothers and father that they couldn’t take you home he volunteered letting you know the situation. Slept in his own bed and returning early still found you in your Durin pile, just in time to see you woken for your last set of scans. When you were returned to your room the Doctor entered and cleared you to get dressed and leave after your final leech treatment, sure to examine your massive bruise and gently examining your throbbing hip.

You were left in the room alone with Eowyn who helped you change your underwear and pull into your knee length sweats and one of your t shirts, gently pulling on your shoes and tying them for you as you lowered your shirt. The nurse came in to remove your IV as she brought in your wheelchair, trying to hide her smirk as Thorin easily lifted you and gently sat you down in it and stayed by your side as you were led out to Eomer’s car.

The ride home was uncomfortable to say the least, and you did your best to force down your groans and whimpers with each bump along the way, happily wrapping your arms around Eomer’s shoulders as he lifted you with your bag over his other shoulder. You were off inside the front door while the Durins parked in their spots, grabbing their things and followed after you. They caught up to you as he gathered your latest stack of mail, Faramir having taken the task the other days. The Durins grabbed theirs and followed, your group, especially you in the large blonde’s arms gained more than a few curious glances in the crowded lobby, their eyes stayed on you as you headed upstairs.

Pt 6

[42wallaby-way-sydney]

more conversations from domestic au

Vasya: Maddie, you're a better lawyer than me. Maddie: Okay. Vasya: ... Jamie, you're a better lawyer than me. Jamie: I know, sweetie. ~oOo~ Danny: Why can't you be more like Lucy?! She's meditating beautifully! Luke, pointing at Lucy: She's sleeping, Danny. Danny: ... well her form is perfect! ~oOo~ Darla: I'm going to be a bioengineer! Rikki: Psh. You nerd. ~oOo~ Bucky: Alright look here Sasha, yah lil shit! ~oOo~ Vladimir: Oh come on! Can't I just gauge my eyes out instead?! ~oOo~ Sam: It's okay! Dinosaurs are part bird right? And I speak to birds. So I can just go talk to them! Bucky: That sounds like a terrible idea... Sam, moving closer to the T-Rex, sweats: Okay yeah fUck this! Sam out! ~oOo~ Vladimir, kicking a dinosaur away: Don't fucking bite me you fucking heathens! ~oOo~ Sharon: Leila! Get off the damn table! ~oOo~ Matt: Look I'll lie to a lot of people but I won't lie to Jessica. Danny: Is it because she terrifies you too? Matt: It's because she terrifies me. ~oOo~ Sam: Hey Sharon! Your girlfriend is drunk and misses you! Leila, taking the phone from him: Shar bear! I miss you! Sharon: I miss you too sweetie! Leila: You should come home! Sharon: I can't right now sweetie! I'm on a mission! Leila: Oh... kick their asses, Shar bear! ~oOo~ Alex, trying and failing to kick Anatoly away: Bitch we just goin' to the store! Shauna, trying and failing to walk away: For god's sake, Anatoly! You are a grown ass man! ~oOo~ Vasya, amazed: Babe! You can kick my ass! ~oOo~ Jessica: Oh Dani! Danielle: Oh no what did I do?! Danny: Oh no what did I do?! ~oOo~ Natasha: Where are you going, dressed all nice like that? Nika: ... I’m eating Italian tonight? Yelena: ... was that some sort of euphemism? ~oOo~ Elektra: Helloooo, nurse! Claire: If you want to get laid, you're doing it wrong. ~oOo~ Vladimir: Yelena Jr.! Nika: That is not my name?! Vladimir: ... Natalia Jr.?! ~oOo~ Yelena, almost in tears: Natasha! Lisichka! We have adopted a monster! Natasha, holding three year old Nika: She didn't mean to eat your leftovers, lebedka. ~oOo~ Vladimir: Ugh I feel like I am carrying dead weight on my shoulders! Natasha: Well that may be the dead body you're currently holding. But that's just a guess. ~oOo~ Jack: Babe, what's your favorite kind of tea again? Marie: Jasmine. Why? Jack: Damn can a guy not ask his girl what her favorite kind of leaf soup is? ~oOo~ Michael: Oh bella! I bought you more leaf water! Jamie: You know 'tea' is quicker to say than 'leaf water', right? ~oOo~ Vladimir: Hold on. I am still trying to process that my children are alive and not in jail yet. ~oOo~ Jamie: I made you guys dinner! Michael: ... this is just a plate of red and green chili peppers? Jamie: I know what I said. Michael: ... thank you dear. Vasya: ... I'm so scared... ~oOo~ Luke: Ah yes my wife. One of the only people on this planet who can kick my ass. I love you, sweetie. ~oOo~ Vladimir: Your left! Left! No! Your other left! Matt: ... that would be my right, you idiot! ~oOo~ Shauna: So what'd you guys eat? Alexei: Well I ate Korean but Dad ate Indian. Alex, choking on her water: ... Anatoly: ... boy sometimes I just want to choke you... ~oOo~ Jamie: Go to hell. Go to hell, go to hell, go to hell! ~oOo~ Rikki: Sometimes I want drugs. But then I remember there's rehab and I go nah nah honey I'm good. ~oOo~ Michael: I'll write something nice on your tombstone, bella. ~oOo~ Yelena: We text like civilized people or we don't fucking text at all! Natasha: That is rich coming from you. ~oOo~ Jack, about Richard who won't shut up: Oh God. He's going to piss someone off and then I'm going to have to kill him and then everyone in this classroom is going to have to help me hide his body and I am too young to be dealing with this stress! ~oOo~ Alexei: Some dude was in our class smokin' somethin'. ~oOo~ Ian, striking poses: Take a picture of me! Take a picture of me! ~oOo~ Derrick, pointing to Richard: That your boyfriend? Vasya, scowling: No! Derrick, shrugging: You two look cute together. Vasya, gagging: No! ~oOo~ Darla: Rebecca. What is that on my bookshelf? Rikki: ... a cheeseburger wrapper... Darla: And why is it on my bookshelf? Rikki: 'Cause I missed the trash can... ~oOo~ Vladimir, holding a sleeping two year old Vasya: She uh... has your exact hair color. It's weird actually. Matt, slowly grinning goofily: You love me. Vladimir: Oh shut up. ~oOo~ Michael: Good lord sometimes I just want to kill all of you. ~oOo~ Michael: If I am succeeding let it be known it was purely out of spite. I hate my father and my older brother and I want them to be aware that I am better than them at everything. ~oOo~ Jamie: I want a cannoli. Vasya: Ravioli? Michael: Fucking hell... ~oOo~ Matt: I think my three year old just said he wants to fuck the dinner roll.  ~oOo~ Marie: No, I don't know kung fu! I do know how to whoop your ass though! ~oOo~ Peyton, fanning herself: Why is it so hot in here?! Jamie: Oh, sorry, Li. It's because I'm here. ~oOo~ Vasya: Daddy why is there a pretty girl doing your paperwork?! Matt: ... I didn't know she was pretty? Vasya: She's flipping gorgeous! I'm going to die! ~oOo~ Vasya: Ahhhhhh! Peyton: ... wow she has been screaming for five minutes straight. What a set of lungs. Nika: Should we stop her? Jack: Vas. Sestrichka. Stop. Vasya: ... the screaming wasn't internally? Jack: No, sis. It was external and loud. You've never been the best with keeping thoughts on the inside now that I think about it. ~oOo~ Richard, pointing to Jack: This is my friend. Jack, narrowing his eyes: Bitch you don't do this shit to your friends. You don't do friends like this. ~oOo~ Alexei: I just want to hit him once. Just once. Someone let me just fucking beat his ass! ~oOo~ Peyton: Well what do we do now? Jamie: We kill everyone. I'll start. Hand me a knife? Alexei: We are not killing anyone! You psychopath! Sit your butt down. ~oOo~ Fisk: Richard, you embarrass me. ~oOo~ Misty: Colleen! The girls are two! Why are you teaching them to play with katanas?! Colleen, shrugging: Practice for the future? Vladimir: Well I'm terrified. ~oOo~ Darla, yelling at Rikki: Oh yeah?! Well you're adopted! Sasha, pausing as he walks by their room: Well damn. No need to be rude! Rikki and Darla: Oops... ~oOo~ Jack: I don't think that's the proper use for a CPR dummy, Ravdí. ~oOo~ Alexei: No, I can’t even think a bad word or else my mom will descend from the heavens out of literally no where and begin beating my butt. Jamie: Yeah have you ever met our parents? I’d sooner jump in front of a train than think, let alone say, certain words. Peyton: I feel like I gotta clutch some pearls. Do that Catholic crossing thing. Pray for my soul. ~oOo~ Vasya: I got a scholarship. Matt: To Juliard? That's great, honey! Vasya: Uh no? Harvard. Matt, choking on his coffee: What?! ~oOo~ Nika: Hahaha! Suckers! ~oOo~ Sam: Oh her phone better be on or so help me god! Darla: She left it in her nightstand. Sam: Oh my god! Of course she did! ~oOo~ Lucille: Only child children unite! ~oOo~ Jack: Oh god! He's a thespian! He just gets worse! ~oOo~ Peyton: We can’t fight right now. Jamie: Ugh, you’re right. Not in front of the baby. Alexei: I love you two. ~oOo~ Darala: Rikki can you throw this away? Rikki: Psh, nigga nah. ~oOo~ Maddie: I... I think I'm dating Ian now? Like it started as rehearsal but then that kiss got intense. ~oOo~ Bucky: My child didn't run away to Europe! My child got a scholarship into science! Darla, studying and finally looking up: Huh? ~oOo~ Matt: Honey being a lawyer is hard. Vasya: What? No it's not. I've seen you work. ~oOo~ Jamie, forcing laughter: I will be on you like white on rice if you keep talkin' smack. So keep talkin'.