#Dunno if I'm actually gonna do this one but it could be a cool video project

[averageartistamber]

So, to get back into drawing regularly again I had a look at drawing challenges, but couldn't really find any on google I'm really feeling.

So I whipped up this Yume Nikki themed one (since every know and then the game pops up on my Youtube feed so I've been thinking about it.) that I'll maybe give a shot for October? Not really sure right now.

Feel free to use it yourself, if you want. I might try putting together like, a DnD monsters one (or a worldbuilding/create a monster type one) or some others if you wanna shoot a request.

Umm, I do have that Godzilla poll from ages ago, so that's another option for me. Those take a long time to make so it really depends on if I just wanna do something relatively quick or something I do gotta spend more time on.

[hamofjustice]

Julinemo Week, Day 3: Study Session

(This could probably be better but this week is an exercise in just posting without being a perfectionist and I wanna go to bed, so)

The late afternoon breeze streaming through Nemona's window kept her room smelling as fresh and alive as a new adventure, as she and her favorite guest did something quite a bit less exciting: reviewing their Battle Studies homework.

Nemona was on her bed, leaving just enough space for her napping Pawmot, while Juliana and her Gardevoir were down on the plush green rug she'd picked out for Nemona the previous week (which Nemona insisted on paying for). The Battle Frontier Channel was on the big TV as familiar background noise, though Gardevoir at least seemed more interested in looking up at that than the open books.

"Uhhh… question nine… 'Which kind of Terrain protects from ailments instead of powering up attacks?'" Juliana read out.

"Oh, um… Misty Terrain! I was just thinking about that one. It might help you remember that one's different 'cause it's not called Fairy Terrain."

"Oh yeah, huh. Good point."

"It's not teeechnically correct to say it's the only one that does that, 'cause, like, Electric Terrain keeps you awake, and Misty Terrain does power up Terrain Pulse and Misty Explosion, but… I think you can safely ignore those since there's no 'none of the above' options… right?"

"Uh… nope, there's not. Wow, Mona… you know more than these books do, huh? Hehehe…"

"Heh. Nah, they're probably just tryin' to keep it simple. I've never used Misty Explosion in my life!"

"Oh. Well, I appreciate trying to keep it simple, 'cause some of these things have so many arbitrary little details to remember…"

"I know, right? I guess it's not like anybody sat down and designed 'em all elegantly like a video game, though." Nemona pointed out, before starting to tap her pencil eraser to her chin and then her temple as she looked up at the ceiling. "I wonder if Misty Explosion might be decent BECAUSE no one expects it…"

"Maybe? Mmm, I dunno…"

"I've actually gotta figure that out soon. When you get into Advanced Battle Studies like me, you'll have to--"

"IF I get into Advan--"

"WHENNN you get in, 'cause you're smart and cool and attr-- attentive, and a Champion like me, and have me helping youuu…" Nemona insisted, briefly pointing her eraser down at Juliana as if it were a threat. Pawmot kept sleeping, fully accustomed to its Trainer's volume. "… You've gotta make theme teams for all these field conditions! It's kinda fun, but… I dunno how good some of these would be. They start ya off easy with Rain, but… hmm…"

"Oh, is that what you're working on up there?"

"Eh, sorta. I've got the Psychic Terrain one for this week figured out ahead of schedule, so I'm getting started on the Misty Terrain one now."

"So you could just… not be doing homework right now, if you wanted?" Juliana prodded.

"I mean… I guess, but then I'd probably just be bored and houndin' you to go out with me. Uh, f-for battles and stuff."

"Mmm. Yeah, probably. Well… thanks for matching my pace, then."

"Always."

"Hehe… "

They both smiled at each other for a bit before getting back to work. Each of them sighed happily and gave their partner Pokemon some petting. But eventually…

"Uh… I'll be right back. Gotta use the bathroom." Juliana quietly announced.

"Mmmkay. Be my guest."

Nemona looked up from the page and gazed off into space as Juliana stepped out, but then…

"Hey, Gardevoir." she whispered.

"Devoira…?" Juliana's companion answered sleepily, turning its head up to Nemona.

"Can you… show me how Juliana feels about me?"

"Garde." the Embrace Pokemon said with a nod. It rolled its neck a bit before scooting a bit closer and reaching out to Nemona with its green hand.

"Ooh, are we gonna do a mind meld? Heh…"

Almost as soon as she took its hand, Nemona's eyes shut and brows shot up like she'd once again misread a teaspoon of Spicy Herba Mystica as a tablespoon. After a few moments, however, she seemed to become accustomed to whatever had been put in front of her mind's eye. Her expression became one of curious awe, then wholesome warmth, then giddy delight as she wiggled her feet happily behind her. She opened her eyes back up as the emotional transmission ended, needing a moment to refocus on reality. "Oh… oh man… th-thanks bud. I, uh… huh…"

"De gara, devoira."

Juliana came back into the room to find Nemona blushing and giggling, and immediately looked down at herself to try and find a reason for it, to no avail.

"Hehehehe… Hey, I think I might be moving down to the floor with you, actually." Nemona decided, picking up her book.

[eisforeidolon]

Question: Enjoy your whiskey?

Jared: Uh, not yet. Thank you for asking. Canadian Club? Yeah, I've had it before, thank you so much it was exciting. She gifted us a, like, seven gallon bottle of Canadian Club yesterday. We have not tried it just yet, but I think I remember what it tastes like -

Jensen: [whispers into mic] I drank it last night.

Jared: [fake outrage] You what?!

Question: That is why he didn't sing last night, y'all. Sorry.

Jensen: Yeah, I was in the business end of a Canadian - [Jared makes A Face] bottle of whiskey.

Jared: You paused at the wrong time!

Jensen: I did.

Jared: You said, I was at the business end of a Canadian ... [rushed and emphatic] bottle of whiskey!

Jensen: [???]

Jared: Grammar is important! Yes, of course.

Question: My question is, it's more for Jensen, but feel free to answer, Jared. Of all the music that has been released that you've been a part of, Radio Company, any collabs you've done? Do you have a favorite song of yours?

Jared: That's yours.

Jensen: Favorite song of mine?

Question: That you sang, Louden Swain, Jason Manns, Radio Company, just Steve Carlson -

Jensen: Oh, oh, oh. Uh ... I dunno.

Audience member: Angeles!

Jensen: Yeah, I like Angeles because I think that was probably the first time that I, like put myself out there [Jared nods] in that way, which was, y'know, a little scary, but I had some good, I had some good encouragement from some good friends to do so. So I'd say that one kind of holds a special place for me.

Jared: I remember that day vividly.

Jensen: When we - on set?

Jared: I remember that day vividly.

Jensen: 'Cause I did that on set.

Jared: On set, same place we did our, uh, voice over, the sound truck.

Jensen: Don Painchaud who was our sound mixer on set for all 15 seasons had a soundproof truck that we would go and do our voice over recordings while we were filming. So we'd be on set and hen we'd take a break and then he and I would hop in there and do voice over work for an episode that we had previously filmed. And I had asked him, I was like, hey - he is also an avid collector of like vintage microphones. And I said, hey I got a buddy coming up here, we're looking to lay down some vocal tracks for a song. Could we do that in the truck? And he's like, oh, yes! And he's like I'm gonna go home this weekend and I'm gonna get a couple of my mics like [mic names] or whatever, some fancy, like vintage vocal recording mic. And he brought it in and he set it up and we actually did it while we were - while I was filming. And so yeah.

Jared: Do you remember who filmed behind the scenes inside the truck?

Jensen: You.

Jared: Yep!

Jensen: [laughs] Yeah, there's some shots from the -

Jared: Inside of it.

Jensen: music video where, yeah, Jared's actually got the camera and he's like [mimes panning a camera] doing this, gettin Steve and I.

Jared: And the inside of a sound truck that's basically the back of a U-Haul, with all the little -

Jensen: Like not much bigger than this drum set. You can't fit a whole lot of things in there.

Jared: And also, if you go like this [inhales], it picks it up. It picks up everything.

Jensen: You have to be completely silent.

Jared: So I'm trying to do cool shit, but my keys are jangling in my pocket and he's like gotta go again. And I'm like sorry, like throwing keys down.

Jensen: Yeah, Jared is effectively a moose in a china shop.

Jared: I would not get hired as a ninja. Though I like to pretend I would be. [Jensen laughs] That was a great day, yeah. Thank you for your question and thank you for the Canadian Club -

Jensen: It was delicious.

Jared: I hope that there's some left that I can try.

[wet-bread-owner]

Hello, long time no see eh?, well I wanted to make

Another song review that is, this time is Dedf1sh

Pretty cool sanitized octoling DJ with what I say is

Pretty good lore behind her character, and good,

You know, songs, anyways let's get into it now

Dedf1sh

Splatoon 2 Octo Expansion

#0 Shell: All I can say is that the I see with most Dedf1sh songs is that most of them might not sound like they could fit in a level but they actually do, at least that's how I hear them, this one for example, it's really calm, it has this weird tone to it that honestly I really like, during the levels it makes you feel more concentrated, that's what it did to me actually, the way the sound goes to side to side, really neat stuff

#1 Progress: Not gonna lie, I like this song because of how otherworldly it feels, it also sounds very simplistic if you can call it that, the beat of the song sounds like a really generic beat and honestly I like that in a weird way, it's like, a weird demo of a song of some kind, which is what I like about Dedf1sh, all of her songs are really different and weird and that's what gives it a lot of charm

#2 Ripped: Now, I really like the weird vocals on this one, not only that but the beat it has, if I remember correctly the stations where this plays, it adds up to that weird feeling each station gives off, because if you stop and look in your surroundings you see some interesting stuff floating around, I really like that, especially during 8-ball levels since I find them the most relaxing out of the others

#4 Dunno: I must say that I have no idea what this song is, it sounds really strange, I must say I don't really like it a lot, it has weird tones and other stuff that make it difficult to find something that I can like, but while I may not like it, I'm sure it's good and some other people might like it, it all comes to personal preferences, I must say the first time I heard this I thought something happened to my switch because it sounded really strange, with all the noises just going everywhere

#5 Thirsty: Very few songs actually give me this feeling of just kind of like, bliss, I don't know what this song might have but honestly the way it sounds like the Central metro song and how the beat is, it just kinda makes me sit there and listen to it, while playing I remember really liking this song, and overall I still like it, I listen to it from time to time, I must say it also has this feeling of loneliness to it, which is honestly amazing considering the way the metro is, really adds up to that feeling

#6 Frisk: Eh, while I don't like this song I also don't really dislike it (all that much), it sounds ok, I really like the ending of it with the whole like, otherworldly sounds it starts to use, it uses them in the middle of it as well, so that's what makes it a lil bit better for me, I don't like the weird beat it has to it, Dedf1sh songs are really hit or miss for me

#8 Regret: Really interesting song, I like how calm it is, during the game I must say this song made me almost fall asleep, I must say I stayed up all night playing but like, I feel this song helped that, anyways, I would like to mention how there's this theory that the song names represent the way Ahato (Dedf1sh) felt while being sanitized or something like that, and I would like to clarify that this theory is actually like, not true, during an interview it was revealed that the song names are just like, named after the feeling each song gave, which honestly makes a lot of sense when you look at it, this song for example, does give off a feeling of regret, if you are wondering where I got this information from uhhhhh, pretty sure it was from a Rassicas video, I think it was from the Nintendo magazine they translated

#9 Party: Surprisingly enough this song reminds me of my childhood, I'm not kidding when I say this, it reminded me of a song that for some reason has been engraved in my mind that I listened to when I was younger on some YouTube videos, so honestly I really like it because of that lmao, and I must say it does convey the feeling of a party so overall good song I like it, I really liked the stations where this played

#11 Above: All I can say about this song is that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT, it's my favourite Dedf1sh song, the first time I heard it I immediately fell in love with it, I adore that one station with the ink rails and this song, I forgot which one but it was really cool it made the whole experience 10x better, the weird guitar (idk if it's a guitar) sounds really cool and the way the song be never really changes beat is honestly what made me like this song so much, overall my favourite Dedf1sh song as mentioned

#12 Awake: Really don't have much to say about this song, it's good but definitely not for me, It feels like waking up in the morning and staring at the sun as it raises while it's kinda cold outside, idk why it just reminded me of that, it's very calming I must say, might try to listen to it even more to see if I like it

#13 Shade: Yeah, this song is kinda, not my type as well, I can't really find anything to say about this other than I don't like the vocals, they sound really strange but in a bad way, and the instrumental is kinda eh, makes me feel kinda, like, not knowing how to feel about the song, I can definitely see people liking it tho, but not me; during the game I remember wanting to beat the level this was on fast because I didn't want to listen to it a lot

#14 Crush: More songs should have trumpets honestly, I love this song, possibly my third favourite Dedf1sh song (I won't make a tier list) and I'm guessing it's the same for most people because I've seen a lot of love for this song, and it's well deserved, the trumpet, that feeling of old music it has, everything about it is perfect and I love it, this song as well as #11 Above are songs that I'll definitely listen to again

#16 Salty: Oh, yeah this song sounds like a boss song lol, I like how frantic this song sounds, and honestly I was surprised when this was used in other stations and not the stations with the bosses, but eh, it's ok, I like hearing it a lot on levels because it adds up to that stress some levels give you

#19 Bless: Xylophone....... Why did I start this with that word? Don't question it, anyways, so, this song plays in the stations where you get the thangs, and honestly I was kinda disappointed when I first got to them, I expect something to happen before I could get the thang but, you just kinda grab it and that's about it, this song makes it feel like it's something extremely important (I mean it is but like if something might happen) the dialogue in game also hints that something feels off about the place, and then nothing happens, I don't know I just felt disappointed because of that, but eh, I liked the song it feels like, kinda like a military song, idk

Splattack (Octo): I HAVE TO SAY THIS IS MY SECOND FAVORITE DEDF1SH SONG, it's honestly so cool how she remixed a song from Squid Squad and how it plays while you fight Sanitized Agent 3, makes the battle feel like, 100x better, and I absolutely adore how everything is like, broken up and how it changes in speeds and everything, it makes the song feel more uhhh intense? Idk if you can call it that but yeah, I adore this song with all my heart, I hope they do something similar in Side Order, even if the one that makes the music isn't Dedf1sh, I just want another remix of a song

Escape(?): Ehhhhhhh, I don't really know if this is a Dedf1sh song, but it's the one that plays during the final levels, when you are going up to the surface, well only the first part, then shark bytes starts playing, anyways, all I can say is that it makes the whole section feel more tense with how you have to evade being seen and it also has a nice rhythm to it, so yeah I kinda like it

BYE

So that would be it, Dedf1sh is definitely an interesting character not only in the splatbands but also in the lore itself, she has such an amazing story so far, and for what it seems she returned in Splatoon 3 with that Octoplush song (#35 Caught), I must say her songs made Octo Expansion a lot more interesting and enjoyable, which I may add my Girlfriend bought Octo Expansion for me which I really appreciate, I can't thank her enough for that and I love her, but yeah, other than that this is the end of the review, I'm definitely not a music critic but I like typing out how the songs make me feel, it's nice, I like sharing my thoughts around, so anyways, I'll see you next time with uhhh I don't know but it will be another splatband with an Octoling or Octarians, see ya!

[lostonehero]

I dunno I'm gonna keep going with this

YouTube Scooped Michael

Micheal sighs as he turns his camera on, he wasn't ready for a livestream. He's been at this for well over a decade now, and well, he guessed he had a following more, so it was people telling him to drop the so-called zombie act.

He shrugs as he focuses on the camera. "Hey, everyone, it's me, Michael, with another video. So everyone has been spamming me with these comments about how I should take off this costume. First, the only costume part is the wig I have sewn into my scalp, and maybe the zipper in my chest cavity, so I have extra storage." He pauses.

"Look, if you guys want, I can do a livestream, but really? I don't know what I would even do. Uncle Henry is busy, and I mean, I can only do so many makeup tutorials.... I don't really play video games. I wasn't really into them growing up."

He sighs. "Alright, fine, next week, Friday when I don't have work at the library. Then can we finally put these? I'm wearing costume theories to rest. I know I'm a walking corpse already, but like we were talking about quantum theory and the whole stop pretending you're a zombie bit is getting old."

He pulls out a mirror. "Now that's taken care of, I'm gonna show you guys how to go from purple to flesh."

.....

Maybe he should start adding ads to his videos. The extra money could help Henry out with his plans... right, that's dumb he is the founder of Freddie's he has more money, and then he knows what to do with. He sighs, adjusting the mask over his mouth and nose. Henry might visit soon, so that means he might actually need to get food in his apartment.

He puts the apple he was holding down and sighs, seeing an advertisement for a future Freddie's mall that's in the works. Dear Dead, dad works fast. He rolls his one eye as he heads towards the cleaning products. It is getting warming, so he will have to worry about mold soon. At least the bugs stopped his rotting flesh, which is like leather now in a sense.

He stops picking up a container of bleach to two teenagers stating at him. "Uh, can I help you?" He frowns he always hated his accent reminded him of William.

"You're still in costume?" One says. Micheal can't tell if they are a boy or a girl, nor does he really care.

"Costume?" Micheal parrots back as a question.

"You're from YouTube, and we've been following you." The other teen speaks up, staring holes into Micheal.

"I don't think my following is big enough to be recognized." To be fair to Micheal, he has never checked his subscriber count.

"That's not a costume." The first one spoke again.

"No?" Micheal shrugs and goes back to the cleaning products.

"Can we get a picture?"

"Yeah, this is really cool."

Micheal, in his social ineptitude, just stares blankly and mutely nods. He watches she two run off giggling. What happened to the days of people screaming in fear of his disgusting form.

Eh, whatever, he had to go back to shopping. What else did he need? Ah, new brushes his are falling apart. Oh, and gloves, he needed a better variety.

Pushing that experience out of his mind, he continues his shopping.

[peemanne]

Protagonist's POV: Looking at the perspectives of some of Yakuza's Dynamic Intros

So SnowiestAngeman put out a new video recently (best RGG content creator out there by the way go drop a sub if you somehow haven't already) and in it is this cute little segment where he talks about dynamic intros and jokes about how the titles on them are handled. He brings up a proposal that it might be based on what the playable character thinks of the person they're fighting against. And that part actually immediately got me thinking about some instances of that happening, and I think he might actually be right on this one! Some dynamic intros, be it by revoking someone's title or replacing it with a new one, can tell you how they see who they're fighting! A few instances began to pop up in my head and now I just wanna make a short little write-up to highlight some of them, because I really do think they're pretty cool when they do happen.

also here's the video if you wanna check it out. if you haven't already then you should because it's by snowiestangeman

ALSO SPOILER WARNING!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!!!!

This post will contain spoilers for the following games:

Yakuza 4 (briefly touched on, mild spoilers for around the mid-game)

Yakuza 5 (Major spoilers for the endgame)

Yakuza 6 (Mild spoilers for a late-game fight)

Yakuza 7 / Like a Dragon (Major spoilers for the endgame)

If you haven't played those games yet and don't wanna get spoiled, then I'm afraid you might wanna avoid that keep reading button and skip this post for now. If you still want to do so then go do that I dunno I'm not your dad

Let's start with where I think it's the most obvious with some of Yakuza 5's intros. Here's Shinada's tussle with Daigo himself... and it's just Daigo to him. None of that Sixth Chairman of the Tojo Clan business, it's just Daigo Dojima that shows up to Shinada.

You gotta remember he just knows Daigo as his classmate from way back when, and only finds him again later when he presents himself in a mask and sunglasses to kickstart what Shinada's been doing for his whole chapter. When Daigo reintroduces himself proper, he's shocked about the whole yakuza big shot thing, sure, but when Daigo's about to push him and his dreams aside, none of what came out of his mouth really registered to him. He punches him out the door, (and sends him FLYING too like DAMN dude that was visceral) and he wants to make it clear to Daigo that he's the one with the pen to write his story. And to prove it, Shinada has to come face to face not with a big shot yakuza, the sixth chairman no less, but with an old friend.

With your daily reminder to listen to the Y5 Daigo theme again out of the way, let's move on to the next intro.

In Yakuza 4, when Saejima fights Majima, it's the first time he's seen him in years, and he's spent all of them wondering where the hell his brother was during the hit. As he arrives at Kamurocho he's been given bits and pieces of what he's been up to, but only really realizes how big he's become when he has to fight through waves of the Majima Family and Minami, only to be escorted by Majima himself to the batting cages, with countless Majima Family men still outside, still waiting for their boss. Before he can give out any of the answers Saejima's been waiting for, they have to go through the inevitable procedure of a fight. And as Saejima finally finds his brother, still left wondering who he's truly become and what really happened back in '85, he sees Majima, now a patriarch of his own family.

But when the two reunite in the finale of 5, after spending the whole game led to believe Majima's been killed, Saejima's forced to face down his brother yet again. And Majima's as transparent as can be in this ill-fated brawl. No mad dog persona to hide behind, no grudges to be settled. It's just the two on what could be the last fight of their lives, and you better believe the two of 'em are gonna do it the right way. Once again it strips the characters of their titles so that they can be faced as true as can be.

Next are some from Yakuza 6. Let's start with one that was actually mentioned in the video that started this whole thing, that being Akiyama's intro.

Yet again, no title to be found. No "CEO of Sky Finance" or anything, it's just Akiyama. I can interpret this in two ways:

Kiryu's acting really, REALLY stubborn at this moment. He wants nothing more than to be with his family, and with Haruka in a coma, Haruto might just be the only thing Kiryu can latch onto at this point. He's willing to break the law just to justify it to himself, and when Akiyama tries to stop him, it comes to blows. And just as the little pop-up on the top right will tell you, "Not even you can stand in my way." It doesn't matter who Akiyama is to Kiryu, it just matters that he's stopping him from taking Haruto, and that just means he has to plow right through him.

Since Akiyama had to close Sky Finance down temporarily, Kiryu immediately disassociates it from him and just sees Akiyama as unemployed again lmao

Anyways, moving on to a pretty big highlight of Y6's cast to me, here are Joon-Gi Han's intros.

You'll have to excuse the fact that his intros are mostly super lame-o intros for a bit. All the Joon-Gi-related budget went to giving him some of the coolest qte sequences in the Kiryu Saga so

When Joon-Gi is first introduced, it's very much as a flashy host. The scene with him in Kanrai shows you he's still a force to be reckoned with, sure, but that doesn't stop him from still keeping the class act on, from his charismatic demeanor to his flashy look. Obviously, Kiryu himself would still associate him with owning Stardust, a place that's offered him asylum and care when he needed it the most. Even after Joon-Gi reveals himself as Jingweon proper, a name that Kiryu's had a more than rocky history with, the intro has the title under the silver-haired boxer be "Owner of Club Stardust".

But when Kiryu and the Hirose boys later find themselves surrounded by multiple masked assailants looking to take Haruto, who else but Joon-Gi shows up for another fight with the dragon. It's clear as day for Kiryu now. He's still got his sportsmanship as he shoos his men away, but make no mistake: Han's with the Jingweon, and they sure as hell haven't forgotten what Kiryu's done to them.

And finally, let's cover Yakuza: Like a Dragon's intros with the final boss.

With the first group fight after taking down Tendo, Ichiban's probably ecstatic at this point. His plan's gone off perfectly, and the truth's now broadcast to the rest of the country. Here's one last victory lap: a frustrated Aoki and a bunch of his goons, not even bothering to mask the fact that they're yakuza anymore. The camera circles around Ichi and his party members, his imagination still running wild, as Aoki readies himself, complete with his "Governor of Tokyo" plaque.

Then Ichiban gets to confront Aoki alone. His imagination's starting to fade. He's not carrying a flashy flaming bat anymore, or wearing his bulky, golden armor. It's not an extravagant, epic RPG final clash that finishes up Ichiban's journey, but a quiet, confrontational fistfight as he finally gets the chance to face his brother alone. And it sure as hell isn't Aoki that shows up in his eyes.

To wrap this up, I just really like how something as simple as the titles shown in a dynamic intro can tell a little story by itself. It's a really small thing, but when done right, it's a really neat touch that can add a lot to the fights they're attached to. I know it's not really like this 100% of the time (Kiryu's dynamic intro in Yakuza 7 having the ex-fourth chairman title for example even when Ichiban realistically has no idea who he is yet), but dammit they're amazing and I hope they keep doing stuff like this. Hell, I might have missed a cool example, I don't know. Either way, it's just another common win for dynamic intros, also known as the coolest and bestest thing ever.

Thanks for reading.

[evelynndecipio-blog]

Dearest, Decipio

Since I know this is already gonna happen, sorry about Evers (that's the owl). He's a massive pain in the ass to pretty much everyone on the face of earth except my mom. If he tries to pecks your hands just give him a mouse or something. If I could I'd send you letters with a different owl but my mom thinks Evers is just the best. He's not. Your owl is super cool though! I don't know much about owls to be honest. My mom pretended that Evers was just a normal owl in the wild that liked to hang around our house before I learned about the wizarding world and even when I started to go to Hogwarts I wasn't really that into birds either. I know my friend Dea has a owl who's very cool but honestly I just really like cats. Big cat person over here. The school ones are good enough for sending the ocashunal emergency letter home to my mom or my dad but Evers usually does all the heavy lifting for me. Maybe that's why he hates me so much.

AND HELL YEAH! Hufflepuff totally crushed the pulp out of those Russian wizards. I mean my tent sucked ass wasn't really the best but the game itself was really cool. Everyone was super fast on their brooms, and all the Hufflepuff players did really well. Serena was so fast, and she and Kovacs got the snitch! What a team! But I agree... maybe I should get a video camera or something. Do you think the wizarding world has video cameras? Then we could tape games and include clips in the Headliner, right? Well, I hope your friend does a good job describing the game. I don't remember a lot of it, to be honest, I was kind of staring at Alexx in aw the whole time so I don't remember a lot of details. I think I want to join the Quidditch team when we go back this fall though. Maybe I can put my insanely awesome muscles to use.

And I barely even saw Cecily! What's up with the Ravenclaw Quidditch team? Are they like a bird cult or something? I barely even saw a hair of her blond head during the entire camp which was a major bummer. We should hunt them down during the school year, along with other Ravenclaws. I know there's one that I kind of want to talk to anyways, so like 2 stones with one bird, right? Maybe we can set up like a interrogation room in the Headliner office... or what do they do on those police shows? Like a tip line?

Speaking of the Headliner, I think I'm going to quit writing for the it. I... I actually haven't even talked to Alexx about this yet, but I don't think I want to write anymore. I mean don't get me wrong I love the Headliner a lot and the people on the team too. But I don't even like writing, man. Especially not articles. It's like homework, except other people besides you're professors read it! I joined the Headliner because... uh... well I didn't join it because I loved writing. But I've been watching the printing team do their thing since the day I joined and I think I could do that you know? I don't know. I could put up with the deadlines and the writing in the beginning but now I'm not so sure. I heard 4th year is supposed to be really hard with a lot of homework, and the printing side of stuff seems less stressful. And frankly, a lot less work.

And part of me is wondering if my writing was even any good you know? My mom read the first couple of paragraphs of this letter over my shoulder cuz she's a freak and she said my writing was really hard to read! And that it didn't flow, or whatever that means. Maybe I'm just not cut out to be a writer. I dunno.

Anyways I hope you're excited for your... what, second year? Honestly the homework was a pain in the ass but I guess if you're as nerdy as everyone else on the Headliner you'll enjoy learning about the stuff. I liked Transfiguration especially, Cy really knows how to get your blood pumping during her lessons. Love her.

I hope you're having a good summer!

XO's Ami

ps my mom's a nerd a made you and your family some cookies. There vegan though so IDK if you want to eat them... take a bite and tell me what you think I guess.

(( In a different hand: ))

July 31, 2020

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary47

10/24-25/2023

tuesday-wednesday

didn't do a lot today.

because i vc'd with friends, which was nice, i got to talk to the new guy my friend added, he's awesome, i'm really glad to be around him and everyone else now. i'm talking so weird. basically i have a new friend who i'm going to be talking to, he said we should make music, i said, of course, of course.

that reminds me, i need to write a response to my friend's poetry thing since he passed it onto me.

okay done, that was fun. i'm awfully obsessed with the word "gigolette" because it means prostitute and also piece of meat. it's a very scary word, it's scary what the slang says, i guess, about how men see anyone like that but also it's something that makes me feel like i could curl up beneath it. it's funny how awful things work that way and i just want to repurpose them as self defense. like all i have is my latent, i dunno, whorishness, and feeling like a piece of meat all the time anyways, maybe that's like, an internal sexism thing. i dunno. if i were at this point of my life and not tethered to someone, i think i would have started doing very self destructive things with my sex life, instead i'm monogamous and safe/happy.

anyways i packed a little for tomorrow, or not a little, i think decently, some stuff might get thrown in tomorrow morning, i have to get my skincare stuff ready tomorrow too, otherwise, we should be chill. we meaning me. my gf is chill too i guess. i'm worried about being in a red state but most people don't really give a shit, right, about whatever i am (androgyne and hopefully pretty / hopelessly hopeful that i am pretty / wannabe / sometimes actually what i want to be), the fact i'm nothing definite might keep people away. mostly i'm scared of public restrooms but i'm likely going to have to. so whatever. i should just make peace with something bad maybe happening.

i am gonna bring my camera, to arizona, it might be fun for photos, and hopefully i'll remember to get them off my gf's comp if i bounce them onto therrrre.

anyways i offloaded the pics, some are of bruises, but some are of that imac, here's one that i think is fun/ny:

freakish riffs on this song, i really love the guitar on the right channel, but i guess i love it for how it plays off the left channel, which is also pretty strange. idk, i just love that, i'd like to get to this level some time. i think i made a sound kinda almost there, it's a bit more fucked up though, it's got these really short delays on it w/ constantly modulating times, all super short and it results in a sound that's too close to itself so it makes something kinda uggy (in the good way) and i want to keep messing with it. the constant feedback is cool too.

anyways i did all my working out today, too, sad i won't be able to do anything but the 60 squats while in arizona, but hopefully there'll be enough walking for that to not matter too much.

thinking about taking my psp for the car ride. it would be the first time i play a video game in a while. i had fun just loading it w/ a bunch of noisy faggy stuff i've been listening to (like the above song) lol.

i'm also now thinking if i should make my own psp theme. it seems like a fun way to spend a day. who knows, maybe i will. my psp is the cute sakura pink one.

the only game i have in here is persona 2, which i like decently. i should get farther into it. if i play it on the ride i will. also, i really wanna get a camera peripheral for my psp to do stuff w/ that, that seems like it could be really crazy for the stuff i'm looking to do.

anywayssssss, i need to sleep soon soooo:

byebye!!!!!!!!

[sharksa-shivers]

Kristy, why would you ask Sharky this tho??? fdhjfkhfjdshfdjhjfd

It is Sharksty time my dudes uwu ----------- (We see Kristy is sitting at Lady's make up desk they have in the main bunkroom. Kristy has her phone propped up as well as having a manga book opened up on her other side. We see she's trying to style her hair without alot of success, feeling conflicted and confused with some of the steps with the video tutorial…And then Sharky comes into the room and notices her doing that.)

Sharky:(seeing Kristy struggling, cheery)Whatcha doin? Trying a new style?

Kristy:(dropping her hair, lights up)Kinda!! Well it's me wanting to see if i can do this more then anything cuz i got some cosplay ideas and stuff heheheh…(shows him the manga book and we see it's like a Sailor Moon esc knockoff Kristy's looking at. The manga girl in the book has her hair very curled up and styled a certain way, Kristy speaking excited)The hair styles from The Solar Scouts!! I really really love how her hair is and i love her character sooooooo yeah heh…

Sharky:(amused, looking through the book)Surprised you're thinking about cosplaying something that isn't from Spirit Drifter honestly…

Kristy:(trying to pin her hair again)Well yeah, what else am i supposed to hyperfixate on while Spirit Drifter is on hiatus? But Solar Scouts is really cool in it's own ways!!! This is the manga i was kinda thinking about when i got the amulet actually!! So this one means alot to me too, i just…Don't talk about it as much cuz…….Spirit Drifter hehe…

Sharky:(flipping back to Kristy's reference page and propping the book back up for her, going to go back to his own stuff)Welp, you're gonna have to show me your hair whenever you're done heh, I'm excited to see how it looks!

Kristy:(lighting up, getting an idea)Hey wait!! You wanna maybe help me style it?? This is a pretty busy hairstyle so…Getting some help would be really cool!! Sharky:(just stares, awkward)Uhhhhh…I dunno Kris…Like…I don't really have any experience with any of that stuff…Maybe you should just ask Lady, she'd know alot more then i ever would…

Kristy:(anxious, awkward)…Pretty sure she's busy right now anddddddd i don't want to bother her if she is…That'd be kinda rude…That's why i was asking you, cuz you're just kinda vibing right now…

Sharky:(awkward)I mean…Fair enough but like…I know like nothing at all about hair, i don't…Think i'd do a good job, gonna be honest…

Kristy:(coaxing him into it)Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee? Please please?? How do you know you'd be that bad at it??? You could surprise yourself!! And it's always cool to learn new stuff so???

Sharky:(sighs, knowing Kristy ain't gonna let him go, thinking before caving, wanting to make his gf happy)…….Ok, fine…BUT if i mess up something, you're the one that was begging me to do this ok? So you can't be mad at me.

Kristy:(not thinking about that, just excited about the hairstyle as Sharky moves back over and looks at all the stuff Kristy has out, him grabbing at a curling wand as Kristy's just excited)That's fine, i get it!! Ahhhhhh, this is gonna look so fucking cool!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!

Sharky:(hesitant but trying to make his gf happy, opening the curling wand and grabbing a clump of Kristy's hair, looking at the tutorial)…..Let's give this a whirl i guess… [CUTS TO A BIT LATER]

(We go from Kristy eagerly bouncing up and down in the chair to Kristy just staring in horror at the messy wad of hair Sharky's managed to style…Kristy and Sharky are both…Very not happy)

Kristy:(just staring)……How the fucking-

Sharky:(defensive)You asked and asked and i told you i don't know about this stuff Kris, i'm sorry, i tried…

Kristy:(upset)It looks so fucking bad and it honestly hurts, what the hell??

Sharky:(feeling bad)…….I think i'm just…Gonna go get Lady now, this is like a hair emergency thing and i don't wanna make things worse…(speedwalking out to go find Lady) _________ Lady defs would be able to fix that inb4 lol…And would probs style Kristy's hair like that herself also and make Kristy feel better fdhfdjfhdshfdj…Kristy wouldn't be upset with Sharky either, she'd probably be laughing about it with him later once the problem was fixed of a just "the hell did you do though??? fdjhfdjfdshsfdhj" Legit tho Kristy, ik he's your bf but like fkhjfdslkjfhdkjhfd there are some things Sharky cannot do oof...Hair is absolutely one of those things, f...

[aprillikesthings]

OKAY LAST ONE PROBABLY (for the end of season four) I HAVE EIGHT MINUTES TO GO

(edit: yes it was the last one)

(edit pt 2 I forgot how reblog chains work and OKAY if the version of the post you looked at had the video that doesn't work, that video is here)

LIKE I SAID the princesses are suffering:

don't like that!!

Light Hope: "It is time."

"I am not a piece of their machine. I am not a weapon. And I'm going to end this now."

Light Hope, flipping back and forth between Mean Light Hope and Good Light Hope, and having flashbacks to knowing and loving Mara: "No. Stop. Don't. Do it. Do it. Don't. Don't."

and Adora shatters the sword--

(there's a super cool effect but it's over fast and any given screenshot wouldn't convey it)

does your head hurt? mine would

Light Hope: "Adora?"

"Thank you." and she fades away

And now Adora's just in a dark building. With a shattered sword. ;_;

But the princesses aren't being actively tortured anymore at least

Anyway Hordak shows up but Bow arrows him away from Glimmer

AWWWW SHIT

is this like getting raptured (I mean given what Nate's said about Horde Prime and his ship I'd say yeah)

but Bow is left behind D: (pun intended)

Everyone is rightfully terrified of Horde Prime's armada

and there he is, the ACTUAL villain of this series

Horde Prime: "Is that you, little brother? I thought you had perished." Hordak: "I was pulled into a shadow dimension. All this time I have been trying to return to your side. But it has not been in vain. I have built an empire in your name." Horde Prime: "I received your transmission, but I could not determine its source."

Yeah I bet Glimmer feels real horrified right now lol

Hordak: "I conquered this world for you. To show you that I am worthy, so that I may retake my place by your side. I have bent its people to my will." Horde Prime: "To your will."

(And here we see the cycle of abuse: Horde Prime does this face-touching thing to his underlings. Hordak probably did it to Shadow Weaver at some point. Shadow Weaver used it to torture two kids.)

Horde Prime: "I see now. You have given yourself a name. You tried to create an empire of your own."

Yeah, he'd see Hordak's affection for Entrapta D:

Hordak: "No, brother. I did it, all of it, for you."

Horde Prime: "You have forgotten who you are. You truly think you are worthy to stand beside me, could be equal to me?"

(a light-hearted show! for kids!)

Horde Prime: "But you have become an abomination. And so, you must be reborn."

YEAH so I know the parallels to conservative Christianity are entirely on purpose here. And they're creepy AS FUCK.

Horde Prime: "Take him to be reconditioned. But I have been rude. We have a guest."

"I apologize for my little brother. His actions are an embarrassment. I desire only peace and order."

Glimmer: "Then you'll leave us alone?" Horde Prime: "Oh, no, child. I cannot let words spread of my brother's botched conquest."

"Beginning with you."

Catra: "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"The whole planet is some kind of ancient superweapon."

"Sparkles here, is a part of it."

(Pretty sure Catra's mostly just trying not to ACTUALLY die at this point.)

Horde Prime: "A weapon? That explains these readings. They are stronger than anything I've seen."

(this is so fucking sarcastic, damn. also probably a joke about how short Glimmer is.)

"Trust that your planet will become the jewel of my empire, and it will allow me to bring peace and order to the farthest reaches of the universe. Thank you for your allegiance, child."

(he's really nailing the creepy mega-pastor vibes)

the non-verbal communication between these two is great, like it's obvious to me that Glimmer's like "we gotta do SOMEthing or we're all gonna die" and Catra's like "lol I know trust me" mixed with "wtf are you doing" "I dunno I'm figuring shit out as I go"

Meanwhile back on Etheria--

Adora: "She-Ra's gone. The Sword is broken." Bow: "So what are we gonna do?" Adora: "We're going to get Glimmer back...

(at least she's saying "we" this time)

ROLL CREDITS, with ominous as fuck music

and I've finished out season four!!! IT ONLY TOOK LIKE THREE DAYS to do THREE EPISODES oh my god

The next episode itself is a two-parter, and I think that rather than split them up I will just watch through, which might mean I have to reblog this post multiple times.

Finishing out season four!

s4, eps 12&13 Destiny

Usual reminder: this is a REwatch and there’s spoilers ahoy, I make a lot of bad jokes (some of which are Adult In Nature), I reference other cartoons, I make random asides.

(also, this time specifically, I had some alcohol)

Tbh? it's a lot like watching things like this with me in person aaahahaha I always want to pause and infodump shit -_-

lol Emily is destroying Shadow Weaver's garden

Emily acts like Mal the cat does sometimes. WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH you are not supposed to have that! Get out of there!

UGGGH

it's easy to forget how BIG Scorpia is??

LOLOL oh my god I went downstairs for like an hour and a half talking to my partners about the most random shit and then playing with the cat and also: I've had most of a can of wine.

One of these:

YEAH (that's a huge image)

so if these get weird: blame the wine I guess

oh also @corpseauthority and I picked out fake fur and minky fabric for the ears and tail of my Catra cosplay :D :D :D I'M SO EXCITED

OKAY BACK TO SHE-RA

the only thing better than Scorpia's "huh?" is Shadow Weaver's flat "what"

Shadow Weaver: no we need the other princesses Glimmer: well they're gone but-- Scorpia, Shadow Weaver, and Emily: WAIT, WHAT???

AND THEN

okay but is the guard telling you this Double Trouble

ROLL INTRO

that thing was not meant to hold four humans and a horse with wings

why are you SNIFFING HIM

Entrapta: "I don't know you" Micah: "Yes, you do. You stole my food." Entrapta: "OH YEAH! It was delicious :D"

oh god Adora's like "....but are you okay? we came here to find you 🥺"

and she's like YEAH I'M GREAT

"each more deadly than the next??? it's PARADISE"

I love her so much oh my godddd

Bow: "We're here to rescue you" Entrapta: "didn't I just rescue YOU?"

Bow mentions Hordak and Entrapta pulls her little new bug-eye mask down :(

Adora: so hey we uhhhhhhhh really need your help due to a terrible secret of the First Ones that nobody but us knows

"WHy didn't you say so???"

well that's a callback to s1 ep1

THERE SHE IS!! MY BABY 😍 I LOVE HER SO MUCH

nooo

anyway Kyle, Rogelio, and Lonnie come in and Catra's like OH UHHH so...what's happening

Lonnie: "we just got back from conquering another Rebel town" Kyle: ":D You should've seen us!! It was all:"

and then he kicks Scorpia's old locker, with the drawings on it, and Catra gets mad

Ironically the degree to which Catra is UPSET is making me ship them harder lol

bb you need a break you are getting feral

Man Lonnie has her number lol. "What is wrong with you? We're winning! Even you should be happy."

god I love when she's this deranged

she slams poor Lonnie against a locker

john cena dot gif

but also OH DO THEY REMIND YOU OF WHO YOU USED TO BE? HMM? what you really wanted??? what actually gave you something like joy or contentment????? are you trying to just erase any part of you capable of feeling good?????????

Kyle is RIGHT

The cinematic parallels between Catra and Glimmer in this episode ("forget my friends I'M IN CHARGE HERE and YOU NEED TO FOLLOW ORDERS") are *chef's kiss*

Catra realizing this isn't what she actually wants: part ....a lot

STOP REMINDING ME I HAVE FEELINGS!!

The other three leave, she yanks the drawings off Scorpia's old locker, then THUMPs her head on it. And then Double Trouble shows up!

okay wait tho the way she pauses and then thumps her head on it is so funny I wish I could gif it, it's so cat-like and also Very Emo

I don't think this is supposed to be funny but it IS and I cannot stop rewinding and laughing. I blame the wine.

THONK

help i've rewatched it like five times now

okay

lol right??

Me, when I was info-dumping my own fic at myself: is it weird to imagine these two banging??? Me now: nope

Double Trouble: "Apologies for the delay, kitten. I got ...held up...in Bright Moon"

Anyway they give a little speech about how the Princesses keep fighting and She-Ra is away

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK

(now THERE's an old fandom reference ahahaha)

"We can't let them return to the Fright Zone!" TOO FUCKING LATE

YOU STOLE HER GARNET YOU WOULD THINK SO

Anyway they argue about the possibility of Glimmer taking Scorpia back to the Fright Zone

GOD I HATE IT WHEN SHE'S RIGHT UGGGHHHH

lolol I am. like. less than ten minutes into the FIRST OF TWO EPISODES and i've hit the image limit.

[whoreadsnowadays]

Hi! Maybe you could do a fluffy ***PLATONIC***

X little brother reader? Like how they would interact and stuff? And maybe just general headcanons of them w/ a little brother. It can be either be 2012 or rise, I don't mind ^^

Take your time w/ this request ^^

Well I can certainly try my friend! Idk if u meant u wanted all four of the turtles but thats what I'm going with atm <3 apologies if they're a bit short, this is officially my first time writing for some of these guys <3

Rise Turtles with a little brother reader !

-

Little Bro

- Raph -

Oh get ready for Overbearing Mother Of The Year

Especially when you were really little, he needed to know where you were and what you were doing at all times

You, Leo, and Donnie had to beat the topic to death trying to convince Raph to even let you use the stove by yourself.

And Mikey ("You might burn yourself!!! You can't use the stove! Raph tell them they can't use the stove!") was not helping.

But when Raph isn't being the most helicopter mom you've ever had the misfortune of living with, he's really the best big brother you could ask for

Whenever you need advice or comfort or anything really, you always go to him

And even if he doesn't know what to do, he's good at giving you excuses that either make you laugh enough to keep your spirits up, or actually calm you down themselves.

He's really the best.

Now if only you could convince him to let you near the turtle tank.

- Leo -

Almost every second you're in sight he's showing off, like all the time

He really wants to be the Cool Older Brother to you and Mikey, and he's maybe trying a bit too hard

If you encourage him it will only escalate until he's doing dangerous stunts to impress you and get validation

And then Raph has to get involved and ruin his vibes :(

But if you tease him and (gently) make fun of him for showing off, he's gonna go "I dunno what youre talking about. Me?? Showing off??? Psh. No. I would never."

And then he'd sulk about it for an hour or two.

He just really wants you to think of him as your cool older brother who you can go to for cool advice.

- Donnie -

If you're up for it, and/or not too accident prone, you'll probably end up as his lab assistant.

Or at least he'll try to turn you into his lab assistant

And of course he pays you in brotherly affection. A pat on the head or a brief hug is your allowance for holding his things in place for him

And he also has a tendency to show you his inventions or gadgets first.

He'll finish something and turn to you with his mad scientist eyes and you have to hope and pray that his newest peice of tech doesn't involve something dangerous

He'd rather die than ever hurt you, but sometimes he just gets too excited to even realize he's waving around his dangerous weapons

Wear protective gear maybe.

- Mikey -

He's so excited to not be the baby of the family anymore you will not believe.

Though he has been 100% infected by the family bug, and is absolutely mother henning you almost as much as Raph.

You cook together really often, food is one of Mikey's love languages so cooking with him is one of your favorite activities

He lets you mix the ingredients and if you're baking he lets you lick the icing off the mixers

And he'll draw or play video games with you, literally indulge in almost any activity you want just to hang out with you

He'll absolutely crush you in almost every video game, and then proceed to beat you over and over under the pretense of "Oh its practice :)"

As much as it annoyed him when he was your age, he absolutely sides with Raph when he goes on his "You're too young!" Rants.

He's nodding along and occasionally adding in his own comments about how "you're just our baby brother you can't do that yet! You're too young! Too fragile!"

Also please dont think about all five of you sitting in a circle in front of Splinter's recliner, watching old Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim movies on repeat, just the five of you sitting in each other's company and relaxing for once. Yeah don't think about that.

(Reblogs > Likes)

[whysojiminimnida]

Hi, not necessarily jikook related, but I wanted your opinion about something of the perilla leaf discussion that I haven’t seen mentioned.

One thing I really don’t like about K-pop in general is the gatekeeping of the artists, so much so that if they are found out to have a SO it’s a huge scandal. I think two idols posted “apology” posts for their fans when they got married/had kids. Now I know this is something cultural that I clearly cannot wrap my head around, but I find it quite sad.

So back to BTS, I was very surprised about the perilla leaf discussion because it was them admitting (albeit indirectly) that they date and have relationships. Hopefully it is not news to anyone that men in their middle-to-late twenties date, but seeing the culture around Kpop in general I thought it was very cool that hybe would release that video (not to mention the whole gender neutral language use that dalloga explained).

I know it’s nothing but maybe one day the culture around idols can change (not that they should disclose their relationship status, just you know live their life knowing that if their relationship is founding out/they want to disclose it they don’t risk losing their careers).

A-HA. This is the commentary on the perilla leaf I was looking for. Thanks, nice anon! Here, please enjoy a pretty Jeon-Park hug-and-rub because NOTHING TO SEE HERE NOBODY DATING ANYONE AHEM (and thanks to phorenjj on twt for it because i stole it from them LOOK AT JEIKEI'S HAND) :

This stuck out to me and I have a call later with Kevin for oppa reasons (he hovers, lately) so I'm gonna ask him. About the perilla leaf thing, not about JeiKei's hand. Because I agree with you.

I haven't seen @dalloga 's explanation but I love her so whatever she said is definitely correct. For me I just noticed that the word used was gender neutral in Korean. It just means "partner" basically and can be used for any gender, so it was a good choice and I was happy to hear it. My spoken Korean is truly awful but I know a little bit. Kev's trying y'all. HE'S TRYING. Regardless, the intent was there not to say "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" specifically but to punt that word in favor of a gender neutral term, and I appreciated that. AND HOLY CATS YES I have been hoping someone would bring up the "oh hey we are adults who, y'know, peel perilla leaves and have partners and do adult sex things" because THIS IS SO UNUSUAL FOR KOREAN ARTISTS. Y'all know this is very out of the ordinary when just last year iKON's Bobby had to apologize to fans for getting married and fathering a child. In 2020 EXO's Chen did the same, even though he did not say he was sorry when his wife had their second child in January. It's an issue. We've seen how stans handled Tae's probable girlfriend and his response to that fairly recently. These guys even THINK about showing up with a woman (god forbid a man) and we like to think ARMY would be cool with it but based on my observations, that is NOT THE CASE. Maybe half of us would be fine, even supportive, but there are real, actual dangerous solo stans out there who could and would present a physical threat to the safety of ANY significant other. There's a whole slew of reasons our guys have ALL stayed "single" all this time, even though it's very likely that the majority of them are involved outside the group and two of them have been a couple for years. And I do think Bang and Co. are supportive of, IDK, letting grown ass adults be, IDK, grown ass adults. Which, in K-pop, is refreshing. I dunno if it's just BTS or if they'll do the same for other groups. I hope they do.

Speaking of whom, have some pretty Jikook doing that photoshoot hug.

Thanks again, nice anon. :)

[waithyuck]

PUPPY

pairing: werewolf!lee jeno x reader (f) *halloweenie special*

genre: smut, supernatural au

word count: 4k

warnings: mature content, excessive explicit language, sexy times (meaning sexual content), I used the word ‘penis’ ONCE and only ONCE, mentions of a knot, knotting (I’m sorry), slight impreg kink, cumming inside, unprotected sex, blood, aggressive behavior, other stupid cliche werewolf things that are most definitely prob in hundreds of fics, jeno does NOT like being called a puppy even tho he’s called it oNCe

a/n: the first release of the dreamie halloweenie series! I hope this one sets the tone for what’s to come 👀 sorry to anyone who hates werewolf cliches and for the extreme lack of any substance or plot lmaoooo anyway I hope y’all enjoy reading

| next >

~10/10/2020~

~~~~

“are you cool with jeno staying the night?” your brother shot out, startling you as he spoke, not even looking at you as he spread too much peanut butter on a slice of bread nestled in his hand.

you looked up from where you were sitting at the kitchen table to face your brother, not saying anything in reply as you got lost in your thoughts.

jeno was an oddball. he was nice and he wasn’t creepy or even that weird, he just had his moments that were just well, odd. he was your brother’s friend of about six years; they met in their second year of high school and have been inseparable ever since. because of that, you have also been surrounded by jeno in all that time as well.

in the first couple years, you didn’t notice anything strange about him. he seemed like a normal and healthy young teenage boy. he was incredibly handsome, so of course your poor soul developed a small crush on him that only grew as the years progressed.

since you paid such close attention to him, you could pick out the oddities in his behavior occasionally pretty well. just from that, you’ve deducted that his sense of smell was almost god-like, like he could smell things that a normal person couldn’t.

now, you supposed that it wasn’t that weird that he had a good sniffer; there were probably tons of other people in the world with the same ability...but it wasn't just his sense of smell that had you curious.

sometimes he would act strangely at night; not often, but enough to have you questioning it. he would either disappear completely without a word or come up with a half-assed excuse to leave and then run away like a frightened animal.

it was just plain odd...and you couldn't get over it, no matter how much you tried to will yourself not to think about it.

snapping out of your stupor, you felt your heart jump at the thought of jeno coming over, even though he’s been here countless times, but you didn’t let it show and you shrugged your shoulders.

“it’s not like I have a choice in the matter,” you stated truthfully, looking down to pick at your nails. “you would have just said he was coming over anyway if I said no.”

your brother smiled at you, beaming as he placed the bread down and patted your head.

“you know me so well, y/n.”

you rolled your eyes, shoving him away. “yeah,” you retorted, slightly annoyed. “It’s not like you’re my brother, or anything.”

he didn't say anything further and you left him alone with his sandwich, getting up and making your way to your room where you could successfully hide for the rest of the night. before your cold make it far, you heard your brother yell something about jeno coming around 8, but you didn't say anything back and just minded your own business all the way upstairs to your room.

you pathetically holed yourself up in your dark room for about four hours, only coming out to quietly sneak to the bathroom and then you would go back into hiding once again.

even when you got word that there was pizza downstairs, you ignored it and continued to watch horror story narrations on youtube.

you just couldn't deal with being in the presence of your long time crush today. it took everything in your power to stop yourself from going downstairs and being potentially spotted, but you managed to pull through successfully and be a pathetic hermit in your room.

it was around 3 a.m. when you were finally finished with watching youtube videos, and you felt gross. you supposed that the two boys would be sound asleep by now, considering your brother never ever sacrificed his beauty sleep for anyone. you grabbed some clean clothes and gathered them in your arms before trudging tiredly to the bathroom, swinging open the door without a second thought, not realizing that the light was already on when you got there.

your heart almost jumped out of your chest as your eyes bulged out of their sockets.

“holy fuck!” you screeched as you took in the sight of jeno, in the middle of the bathroom completely naked, stroking his painfully hard cock right before your eyes. you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the show and you accidentally discovered that there was something not right about the way it looked...

your mouth fell agape and you barely heard him gasp loudly before trying to cover himself with the closest towel.

“jesus christ, y/n!” he yelled back, both of you not even considering your sleeping brother that was just three rooms over.

your eyes stayed glued to where he was covering himself with the towel, still thinking about the oddity of his dick. it seemed to be swelling at the base, which was definitely not normal for a human penis to do.

“what the fuck is wrong with your dick?” you blurted out unapologetically, causing a blush to cover his entire face and neck. you tore your eyes from his covered crotch to look at his eyes, which were now a shocking shade of bright yellow. you jumped back, dropping your clothes on the floor as you watched him breath heavily, most likely trying to calm himself down the same as you.

“oh my god, what the actual fuck is happening?” you murmured out loud, your eyes wide and never leaving his own as he stood silently in front of you. “am i dreaming? am i fucking high?” you tried to reason out as to why you were seeing what you're seeing, but jeno didn't give you much time to think before he spoke.

“you’re not dreaming,” his voice came out low, almost like a growl, and you felt your heart freeze up. “I dunno if you’re high...but what you're seeing is as real as it gets.”

your mouth opened and closed like a fish gasping out of water, trying to formulate the words to say next. your brain literally couldn't think of anything except his abnormally large and weird dick.

“okay…” you trailed off, your hands coming up to rest over your racing heart. “so then I’ll ask again: what the fuck is up with your dick??” and then you quickly added, “and your eyes??? I'm so confused right now, jeno.”

he sighed heavily and turned around, giving you a full view of his ass before he gathered his clothes to get dressed and cover himself. you really should have looked away, but your eyes wouldn’t listen to your internal screaming no matter how hard you physically tried to stop staring.

when he pulled his shorts on he finally turned to face you once more, forgoing a shirt much to your dismay (but really, you were dying on the inside at the sight of his abs). he stared at you for a second, his eyes back to their natural deep brown color.

“...there's a lot we need to talk about.” was all he said before grabbing your wrist in his scorchingly warm hand and dragging you out of the bathroom and down to your room. you didn’t protest and you let him practically drag you all the way there, closing the door behind him and guiding you to plop down on your bed. jeno walked to the opposite side of the room, distancing himself from you as much as possible.

“um..so,” he started hesitantly, trying to form his words correctly. “I’m uh, I'm a werewolf.”

your eyes bulged out of your head in disbelief, but you didn't say anything in reply. you both stared at each other across the space of your bedroom, not uttering a single word.

at first you were ready to call him crazy; there was absolutely no way that it was true. but then you thought about his eyes, his sense of smell...and then thought about his cock...holy shit wait, was that a fucking knot??

“um, yeah, it was…” you heard him say suddenly. you jumped out of your skin at the sound of his voice, not expecting him to reply. did you say that out loud by accident?

“you did.”

okay fuck, you needed to stop thinking and pull yourself together. what were you supposed to say to that? ‘oh cool, your cock has a knot and you’re a fucking werewolf, that’s super, jeno!’

jeno went on to explain the ins and outs of being a werewolf to you over the next twenty minutes, the small pink blush on his cheeks never truly leaving as he went into detail about everything. he even corrected certain cliches that were not true, a scowl making its way to his features with each inaccuracy you brought up.

“so...my brother doesn’t know?” you questioned quietly, looking down at your lap.

“no one knows besides you and my family.” he confirmed, and you looked up again to see him lean against the wall behind his back, eyes gazing sharply at you.

you panicked slightly, thinking that holy crap, now that you know, he's gonna have to kill you so the secret doesn't get out.

“oh my god,” you whimpered out, “are you going to kill me now?”

you watched his eyes widen before he choked, coughing violently before composing himself. he straightened his posture, but still didn't make any move toward you, still keeping his distance.

“what?!” he practically shouted, startling you. “of course not! why would I do that??”

you felt your face grow hot and you looked away once again, wringing your hands together on your lap. you shrugged, murmuring quietly, “i dunno...I thought you'd kill me to keep the secret, well, you know, a secret…”

you heard him sigh exasperatedly before hearing his soft voice grace your ears from across the room.

“I don't kill people, y/n.” he sounded slightly sad, and you then felt bad about assuming something so terrible of him. “the only time I kill is when my instincts become too much to control, and I snap.” his head hung low, but he quickly added. “but I’ve never actually killed a person, even if my instincts were screaming at me to.”

you tried to wrap your mind around what his wolf instincts were like; he only briefly touched on that topic earlier, seeming like he didn't want to talk about it too much. you being yourself, of course you had to pry.

“so like, what you’re saying is,” you started, your hand cupping your chin in thought as you pondered over your thoughts. “that if you were to like, hypothetically, snap right now and go all feral, you would want to kill me?” the question came out inflected as a statement, but you nonetheless awaited his answer patiently as you took in the sight of his face going through about five different emotions in the short span of a couple seconds.

“I don’t think…” he trailed off, looking down at the floor while clenching his fists. “I don’t think killing you would be my first instinct,” he looked up at you, his eyes blazing a slight yellow again as he seemingly stared into your soul. “...if you catch my drift.”

at first you were completely confused, not sure what other instincts he could express while being feral, but then it all clicked and it had your body heating up at the thought.

“oh.” you simply retorted, your eyes glazing over at the implication of him pinning you down and taking you as he pleased. “oh, fuck. you’re fuckin’ serious?”

his eyes were dark as he drank you in, his nostrils flaring slightly as he subtly sniffed the air between the both of you. dear god, you hoped that he couldn’t smell the sudden arousal that consumed you. you watched his eyes glow into a bright yellow and you felt your instincts screaming at you to run, but you held his gaze as he let a low growl escape his mouth.

“y/n,” he said, low and strained as he tried to fight his animal instincts. “you need to leave if you don’t want this, right now.” his words were final, no room for questioning.

you briefly tried to think it over; what would actually happen if you stayed and let him have you? you could probably die, first and foremost, but you shook that thought away even though it was a very real and serious possibility. you couldn’t deny your arousal at the whole thing, being taken like a bitch in heat by a guy you’ve been thirsting over for a while now. you may not get the chance to fuck a werewolf again, so you quickly made your decision.

“I’m…” you trailed off, dragging your gaze down to his neck and collarbones where you could make out the sweat forming on his perfect skin. “I’m staying, jeno.” you spoke softly to him, watching his brow furrow in confusion before smoothing out again.

you made your way to him and he stiffened up, watching your every move like a predator as you tentatively stopped in front of his panting form. reaching a hand up, you caressed his face, your breathing shaky as you leaned in closer.

“you can have me, puppy.” you threw in the last little jab with that sudden nickname just for fun, your heart soaring at the sound of the deep growl he let out upon hearing it. you fought the smile off your face as he practically pounced on you, pushing you over to the bed and pinning your body underneath his in one swift movement.

“I’m a puppy, huh?” he questioned darkly, his glowing eyes roaming over your face before his head dipped down to nose at your throat. you whimpered softly as his teeth nibbled on your sensitive skin, earning a satisfied growl from him.

you felt your shorts stick to your core from how insanely soaked you had become, and you grew hot at the idea of him pulling them down to find that you were, in fact, pantieless. he had your wrists pinned down against the mattress, not allowing you to touch him much to your annoyance. you tried to struggle against his supernaturally strong hold, but was met with a deep snarl in response. you immediately grew pliant underneath him out of pure instinct.

he pulled back, sharp canines prominent in his mouth as he fixed you with his glowing stare, red swirling with yellow in his bright irises.

“don’t fucking move,” he spat, his voice coming out low and gutteral, causing a flood of your own arousal to escape you down below. his nostrils flared for the second time that night, and he breathed in deeply at the scent of your wet and begging cunt. “be a good girl and take what I give you.”

the statement was final, and you barely had time to nod before he was tearing your t-shirt in two, biting the skin of your shoulder. his sharper teeth did not sink deep into your flesh, but when he drug the canines across your skin, you felt them rip you open. you let out what could be considered a poorly concealed scream, but it came forth as more of a moan as you felt hot blood trickle down your arm.

your shirt was in ribbons, and he looked extremely pleased as he took in the beautiful sight of your naked breasts, no bra in his way. he watched as your chest heaved up and down in anticipation, and he released your wrist to gently trail both of his hand over your body.

“your tits are so pretty,” he murmured, diving down to take one of your nipples into his mouth. he worked your other boob with one of his hands, kneading it and flicking your sensitive nipple.

your back arched into his touch, and you tried your best to stay as quiet as possible in fear of your brother hearing you.

he suckled hard; nibbling your nipple and dragging his teeth along it, causing shivers to run up your spine and your core to clench around nothing. your shorts were without a doubt ruined at this point.

your nails scratched down his back and he continued to ravage your chest, alternating between both of your breasts and teasing your sensitive buds with no remorse. it felt like hours of play, but eventually he pulled back to roughly grip the fabric of your shorts and tear them down your legs, exposing your dripping core to his hungry eyes.

you whined as he stared at you, reaching your arms out towards his own pants, wanting to see his cock again now that you were laying there, desperate and pouting for it.

his eyes shot to your face, smirking as he watched your brow furrow and your lips purse, your hands trying to grab at him from your place on the bed.

he didn’t allow you to pull his shorts down for him; instead he hooked his own thumbs in the waistband and pulled them down slowly, exposing his cock inch by inch before it finally sprung out, slapping against his stomach proudly.

your mouth watered at the sight of him once again and you moved to try to sit up, but didn’t get very far. he grasped your non-bleeding shoulder and roughly shoved you against the mattress once again, not saying anything. the stare he gave you oozed enough dominance for you to clearly get the message that he was trying to send.

jeno didn’t waste any time spreading your thighs open, two of his fingers immediately swiping through your embarrassingly wet slit before easing inside your tight hole. the stretch burned at first, considering he was starting you off with two fingers instead of one, but you welcomed the slight pain that mixed with the pleasure of him reaching up with his thumb to graze over your throbbing clit.

jeno thrusted his fingers into you gently at first, gradually picking up the pace as he went along. before you knew it he was adding a third finger, stretching your more than you’ve been stretched before.

you gasped at the feeling, your back arching off the bed as you cried out while he started finger fucking you with earnest.

“shhh, baby,” he said quietly, his movements never ceasing. “just gotta open you up for me, make sure you can take my knot.”

you held back another moan at that, thinking of how his cock would stretch you open, and how full you would feel with his knot nestled inside you.

he abruptly pulled his fingers from you, causing your back to arch again as you protested the loss of stimulation. his strength amazed you, and with one hand on your belly he pinned you down completely, sucking on the fingers of his other lewdly while stating you in the eyes.

after licking his fingers clean, (which caused heat to crawl it’s way down your belly), he kissed you sloppily on the mouth once again before gripping your waist and roughly flipping you over onto your knees.

your chest was flush against the mattress as well as your face, and your hips were lifted high in the air and you could feel the heat radiating off of him as he positioned himself behind you.

his nails drug down your sides and he gripped one of your hips with his hand, using his other to position himself at your leaking entrance. you wiggled your hips in anticipation, whining as he drug the head through your folds before slowly sinking inside you.

your fingers gripped the pillows as he bottomed out, his knot already slowly forming at the base of his shaft. it stretched you ever so slightly at the entrance of your core, and you whimpered out in pleasure as he started thrusting in and out.

the small form of his knot caught on your entrance with each precise thrust, and you were finding it very difficult to stay quiet. jeno’s breaths were heavy and every so often he would let out a soft growl as he felt his tip pound gently into your cervix.

your small whimpers were short and staggered, escaping your mouth with each thrust, which spurred him on to create a faster and harsher pace. he leaned over your back and didn’t relent as his cock punished you pussy, and when you let out a cry that was just a little bit too loud, he shoved your face right into your pillow to silence you.

“shut up,” he panted, a rumble low in his chest following his words. “just fucking take it.”

you nodded your head in response to the best of your ability, biting your lip to keep quiet as the presence of his hand left the back of your head.

he seemed to be getting close now, and you could feel yourself teetering on the edge as well. it was uncommon for you to cum without any clitoral stimulation, and you were amazed at his ability to reach all of the most pleasurable spots inside you.

you felt your stomach tightening up and you gasped sharply when you felt his cock press right against your sweet spot, making you reach your high almost instantly.

you clamped around him, barely registering that he buried himself completely inside you and was now stretching you to the max with his fully developed knot. the pain of the stretch only intensified your orgasm, which had you screaming into your pillow to muffle your cries of ecstasy.

jeno growled loudly as he came shortly after, biting the back of your neck aggressively and painting your walls with his cum, emptying completely inside of you while his knot kept a single drop from escaping.

he withdrew his teeth from you, surprised that it didn’t break your skin, and gently moved the two of you to lay on your sides as you basked in the afterglow of what just occurred.

your chest heaved as you fought to catch you breath, you pussy still stretched to its limit as you laid with him. you reached an arm around to caress his face, a small show of affection as you smiled in bliss.

after catching your breath, you sat in silence for a bit, just bathing in each other’s warmth, before you had to go and open your big mouth again.

“so your knot is supposed to like, plug me up?” you questioned, your voice still sounding slightly out of breath as you panted. “to make sure I get like, hypothetically, pregnant or whatever?”

he groaned in response and gripped your hips tightly, his hips bucking and causing his still painfully hard cock to sharply jab against your sensitive insides, making you yelp.

“dear god, y/n,” he whined, his nails digging into your skin. “don’t say things like that, fuck.”

“oh, so you like that idea?” you teased, turning your head to try to look at him to the best of your ability considering your current position. “fucking me full of babies?”

his eyes stared down at you intensely, the color of his irises brightening up as he growled lowly at you. he suddenly gripped your hips and turned you both over, his body completely laying on your own as you were pressed against the mattress on your stomach.

“keep talking, y/n,” he growled out lowly, his hips pressing tightly against your ass, the head of his cock kissing your cervix. “I’ll fuck you again right now, and give you my fucking babies.”

he couldn’t see you, but you smiled contently, preparing yourself for another intense round with this beast of a man. there was a small chance that you would actually get pregnant, considering the IUD you had…but the thought of it had you ready to go at it again.

in some fucked up way, you were content with this, and you threw your hips up to grind back against him, grinning even wider as he pinned your body down even harder.

jeno fucked you like an animal until the sun came up, and your brother was none the wiser.

[its-ya-girl-phoeni]

Ok, here we go! (note: this takes place in an AU where FNF is a 90's computer game)

Keith didn't quite know what to think of the strange-looking CD at first. His mother said he'd won it in a contest or something, but he didn't remember entering anything recently.

"What do you think, little buddy?" The teen asked Ritz, who was currently perched on his shoulder. "Should we give it a try?"

The rat squeaked in response, and Keith laughed. "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

He slid the odd disc into his computer, and turned it on.

It turned out to be a video game, which Keith was a little excited about, admittedly. They were one of his favorite pastimes, after all.

The game seemed pretty cool at first, with its stylized graphics and animations.

However, it was when he tried to enter a stage that things got weird.

The screen went blue, displaying an error message.

Before Keith could worry about that, though, another problem decided to present itself.

Sparks began to fly, eventually growing into massive tendrils of electricity.

Now terrified, Keith tried his best to protect himself and Ritz from the lighting, until a bolt hit him square in the face.

He didn't even get the chance to scream before everything went dark.

--

The first thing that came to Keith's mind when he woke up was how hard the carpet of his room felt. In fact, it almost felt like solid wood.

Groaning, he sat up, rubbing his head.

"Jeez, that hurts..." He mumbled to himself.

"Tell me about it." An unfamiliar voice replied.

Surprised, he looked over, and was met with the sight of a human-sized rat clad in a beanie, shades and shoes.

The rat seemed as shocked as he was. "Wait... I can talk?! Holey Swiss, I CAN TALK!" He cried, grabbing and shaking the teen aggressively like he'd discovered some incredible knowledge.

Keith stared at him with what could only be described as utter confusion.

"I look so cool!" His pet continued to gush. "Lookit these shades, dude! Aren't they rad?!"

"Y-Yeah, they are, but... how did this happen? Why are you all..." He struggled to find the words. "...Person-y?"

"I dunno, but I'm not gonna question it!" Ritz cheerfully replied. "Just like how I'm not pointing out your lack of nose."

"...What?"

"It's not just me, man! You've got a fresh new look, too! Check it out!"

Keith did so, and was shocked.

His entire body had shrunk, bearing cartoonishly exaggerated features as well. Ritz's comment regarding his nose made him nervously touch his face, only to reel back in shock at the fact he was right.

"W... What else is different?!" He asked, looking extremely alarmed.

"Not much, really." Ritz replied earnestly. "Except for that girl standing right behind you." He pointed.

"Huh-?" Keith cried, quickly turning around, and he was met with the most gorgeous pair of eyes he'd ever seen in his life.

The young woman stared back, equally shocked.

"It... It worked. The spell actually worked!" She gasped, reaching a hand out as if to see he was, in fact, really there. "Please, tell me your name...!"

Her eyes were practically glowing with stars as she held both of his hands up. The way her fingers fit into his own felt so nice...

"...I'm in love." He mumbled, before realizing his blunder. "I mean-! I'm Keith."

She laughed, a lovely, melodic sound. "It's nice to meet you, Keith."

His face was burning red, both figuratively and literally. "Thanks, uh... you too."

"Oh get a room, you two!" Ritz joked. "I can taste the sweetness from here..."

The girl laughed, while Keith just looked embarrassed.

I am LIVING for that Fnf Captain N idea you posted a while back

Ty! Here's some tidbits about it so far:

BF's name in this AU isn't actually Boyfriend. It's Keith Richards, after the musician

Keith's physical features, such as his height, are more exaggerated in his toon form, leading to him going from being 5'5" to a 2 feet tall

Keith's natural hair color is brown, but he dyed it blue at some point. In his animated form, it turns completely blue

Girlfriend is a demon he falls in love with while in the cartoon world, which causes conflict between her and her parents

Each episode revolves around them exploring the FNF world and engaging in musical numbers along the way

Ritz is Keith's pet rat, who was transformed into a more anthropomorphic form upon entering the toon world

Daddy Dearest and Mommy Mearest are the main antagonists who try to eradicate this otherworldly intruder (Keith) any way they can

Due to not knowing his name in their first meeting, DD refers to Keith as "The Boyfriend" which he eventually accepts as a stage name

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[elytrafemme]

dream smp ghost hunters au, preferably featuring sbi + tubbo and ranboo. the scenario can really be anything, but I'm a big fan of sbi and a big fan of ghost hunter aus so boom. this came to mind.

[google doc vers]

There’s something really cool about driving out, far from most buildings, on a straight road there-and-back with barely any cars around.

Mostly, Tubbo just sort of finds the nature really cool. There are a lot of mountains out here, which hasn’t made the ride that bumpy so far– thank God, because he gets carsick pretty easy, always has– but is pretty cool to look at. There are a lot of trees, too, all with thick trunks and long branches, with these really green leaves that makes Tubbo happy that it’s summer again. He imagines it’s probably a more miserable sight, being out here when it’s winter, ‘cause then the mountains and the trees would all just look pretty bare. And that’s sort of sad.

He can’t see it all that great from the car, which is sort of a shame, but right now he’s standing at a gas station with a bag of chips watching as the sun sets over the mountains, and he feels pretty fucking content, just standing there. Tubbo thinks he should make going out in the middle of nowhere a more regular thing.

The only reason he’s out here, though, is for something specific and probably a one-time ordeal. Which he’s pretty quickly reminded of when his silence is broken by his best friend loudly approaching him, soda in hand and a bright grin on his face.

“How’s it going, Tubbs?” Tommy asks, taking a swig from the can and ruffling Tubbo’s hair, which is just unnecessary at that point. “Anything cool happen?”

Tubbo shrugs. “I saw a deer, I think.”

“Well, that’s not very interesting.”

“We’re in the middle of fucking nowhere, Tommy,” Tubbo points out, “there’s nothing very interesting out here.” For Tommy, anyway. “Where is everyone else?”

“Pissing,” Tommy replies, which, yeah, Tubbo should have expected that. “I think Wilbur got into some small talk with the gas station guy. Between you and me, Tubbo,” Tommy dramatically leans in, and Tubbo tilts his head in his direction, “I think the gas station guy is sus. I think he might be trying to kill us.”

“Oh, that’s a given,” Tubbo laughs, which makes Tommy’s eyes widen. To which Tubbo laughs harder. “We’re in the middle of nowhere at sundown. One of us is dying.”

“Well it won’t be me, bitch!” Tommy says, with the exact confidence of someone who dies first in a horror movie. “Maybe we should have left earlier, though. I dunno how Techno is gonna drive us back when it’s pitch dark.”

Tommy sounds actually worried, now, so Tubbo looks away from the mountains to face him. He offers Tommy the bag of chips, and the other proceeds to shovel half of it into his mouth, which is as good a way to pacify someone as anything. “I’m sure we could just use the headlights. It’ll only be a problem if a deer jumps in the road or something, but, whatever. I kinda wish we went earlier, though, so we could chill once we got back.”

That was something that Tubbo had pointed out to Wilbur when this whole plan was being hatched. It was one of those days where Tubbo came home with Tommy, just to hang out and play video games and do each other’s homework and stuff like that. They had gotten two steps into the house before Tommy turned to look at Tubbo with bright eyes, and he told him that he needed his help convincing Wilbur and Techno of something.

Tubbo went with it, but it took him until ten minutes into the conversation before he realized what Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur were all going on about. Apparently, from what he could glean at the time with Tommy’s confusing narration and his brother’s vagueness, Wilbur and Techno signed themselves up on Fiverr to be for-hire ghost hunters, just to make some money over the summer and do something with all of Wilbur’s old equipment. They actually got someone to hire him, some guy named Quackity who lives in the middle of fucking nowhere with his boyfriends, and Tommy wanted to get in on it.

Things sort of spiraled from there, and after two hours of arguing, Wilbur and Techno finally conceded, both to letting Tommy join, and allowing Tubbo to come, too, with both of them promising that they wouldn’t do anything to sabotage the job.

Tubbo fucked that up pretty quickly by bringing his partner, Ranboo, to come with them last minute, but thankfully, Techno is pretty keen on Ranboo and Wilbur’s fine with him, so it worked out okay.

The only thing Wilbur wouldn’t budge on, though, is the time that they left. He was convinced that the sanctity of ghost-hunting meant that they should do it at night, to which Tommy whined about him wanting to sleep, but Tubbo was less concerned about getting sleep– he has nightmares, anyway, so this is a win for him– and more about the time they would get back.

Surprisingly, Tommy’s dad Philza didn’t really give two shits about them going out, so long as all of them were together and returned back together, and Ranboo’s moms were okay with it once Tubbo told them very nicely that he would take care of their son, and, well, Tubbo’s dad doesn’t give a shit about these things ever anyway. So, it’s sort of fine. Mostly.

Tubbo and Tommy stand outside the gas station, idly chatting, for five more minutes before Techno, Ranboo, and Wilbur leave and start heading back to the car.

“How was your conversation with the gas station guy, Wil?” Tommy asks curiously as they all pile in: Techno in the driver’s seat, Wilbur in the passenger’s side on radio and GPS duty, and Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo squished in the back with Tubbo sat on something that isn’t even meant to be a carseat. He fucking hates being the smallest.

Wilbur turns in the passenger’s seat to look at them in the back. “He was quite an interesting guy, I’ll be honest. Ranboo joined in on the conversation halfway, he can vouch for me.”

Ranboo laughs nervously. “I, uh, actually thought he was gonna, uh. Kill us.”

“Didn’t that make it more exciting?” Wilbur counters.

“... No, not really.”

Wilbur sighs, but he’s smiling, and he turns around again to face the front and turn on some music. It’s some old indie rock stuff, which Tubbo isn’t the biggest fan of but can vibe with somewhat. Tommy’s really sick of it, though, which means that about one minute into the track he’s going to start yelling, and Tubbo is going to have to tune out of that.

Which is exactly what happens, almost to a T. It just took a guitar solo to really nail Tommy in.

As Tommy and Wilbur get into an argument with Techno chiming in to tell them to shut up occasionally, Tubbo turns his head to look up at Ranboo, who seems a little entranced by the hot takes about 80s rock. He’s wearing a long-sleeved cardigan despite the fact that it’s literally June, and he has long dangly earrings on that Tubbo sort of wants to fiddle with. Tubbo can’t really criticize him, considering his sense of fashion is stealing people’s hoodies and wearing the same three pairs of jeans in an endless cycle, but Ranboo has some weird mix between looking like an pretentious goth and a thirteen year old boy attending boarding school going on, which Tubbo finds strange but cute, for some reason.

It takes Ranboo a few seconds to notice Tubbo looking at him, but when he does, he gives him a small toothy smile and whispers, “Hi.”

“Hey,” Tubbo whispers back. “Excited?”

Ranboo nods. “A little nervous, but I’m excited, yeah.”

Tubbo sort of gets that.

See, the interesting thing about Tommy bringing Tubbo along to go ghost-hunting is that Tubbo doesn’t believe in ghosts. At all. He doesn’t do superstitious shit like that: death’s death, everyone goes to nothingness in the end, and people don’t fucking haunt places with their spectral frames.

Ranboo is superstitious, though, which Tubbo can respect. He believes in zodiac signs heavily, and Tubbo has spent more time than he thought he would Googling about astrology– which was pointless, honestly, because apparently a Cancer and a Sagitarrius have a lot of issues in relationships, but Tubbo thinks they’re doing just fine, and the descriptions barely match anyway– and Ranboo’s moms have a lot of black cats, too, and all that sort of stuff. They’re all big ghost believers, and that was one way that Tubbo convinced Ranboo to come with him.

Tubbo leans his head against Ranboo’s shoulder, some of his black hair tickling Tubbo’s nose, which Ranboo moves out of the way pretty quickly. “I reckon it’ll be fun to see Tommy shit his pants,” Tubbo comments, which earns a breathy laugh out of Ranboo and a punch in the shoulder from Tommy, who was apparently listening.

“Fuck you, bitch!” Tommy shouts. “Stop laying on your boyfriend’s shoulder and look me in the eyes.”

Right when Tubbo was getting cozy. Homophobia.

Tubbo sits up and holds his hands in a surrender position, replying, “You literally cried the last time we watched a horror movie together.”

“That’s because you have fucked up taste in horror movies,” Tommy argues. “Plus, Ranboo was scared.”

“I don’t think I was, actually,” Ranboo says. “I was a little, uh, curious as to how everything happened, but it was actually kind of cool-”

“Oh, fuck you. I hate you and hope you die.”

“Well, that’s just a little rude, actually.”

“Maybe let’s, uh, not tell Ranboo to die,” Techno suggests from the front of the car, eyes still very focused on the road despite the fact that they’ve been driving in a straight line for the past forty minutes, now.

Tommy rolls his eyes. “You are so boring, Technoblade.”

Techno huffs out a laugh. “I’m just doin’ my best here, man.”

Tommy slumps back in his seat, crossing his arms over each other. “Whatever. How much farther are we?”

“Thirty more minutes.”

Tommy and Tubbo groan in tandem, while Ranboo and Wilbur quirk their lips up.

-

“Who the fuck would willingly live out here?” Tommy asks once they’re at the destination, stretching his legs out and sighing loudly. It’s a fair enough question– the place that they’ve pulled up to is a pretty old house with a modern extension off the side, which is pretty weird considering Tubbo can’t imagine anybody coming out this far for construction work. It’s a big house all in all, the sort of place you’d expect to be haunted, and it’s secluded in the trees and rocks and everything around it.

Tubbo shrugs, rolling his shoulders back and wincing as they pop. Sitting in the not-really-a-seat middle seat is not a fun experience. “I guess people like the quiet,” he suggests, because it is dead silent out here. Tubbo’s not a big fan of the silence, it’s too stifling for him, but he gets the appeal of ditching the city buzz.

“It’s a pretty house,” Ranboo comments.

Tommy scoffs. “‘Cause it’s all goth and shit, like you.”

“I don’t think it’s gothic.” Ranboo seems entirely nonplussed by the insult. “It doesn’t have any pointed arches or anything, and the tall ceilings aren’t there, either. I guess it wouldn’t have stained glass, because it’s-”

“Yeah, yeah, I watched HGTV,” Tommy says flippantly.

“That’s not-”

“Okay, I called the guy,” Wilbur interrupts, the bag of the equipment open on the ground. He kneels down and starts sorting through them, and it’s a miracle that nothing’s broken, considering they literally put delicate equipment in a fucking duffel bag, like they’re drug dealers or some shit.

Tubbo recognizes most of the equipment that he sees: there’s an EMF reader, a crucifix for some reason, a UV flashlight and a lot of regular ones, a busted-up spirit box, a camera, thermometers that look like they were nicked straight from a high school chemistry lab, glow sticks that they probably brought just for Tommy’s enjoyment, and a salt shaker. If it wasn’t already apparent that Techno and Wilbur literally got this job off of Fiverr, their equipment is a tell-tale sign of it. God, they’re all so fucking broke.

Just as Tubbo predicted, Tommy’s immediately excited by the glowsticks, darting up to where Wilbur’s drawing out the equipment. “Can I hold the glowsticks?” he asks.

“They’re actually, uh,” Techno looks down, eyes squinting, and after a few seconds continues, “yeah, they’re on strings. So they’re basically necklaces.” Tubbo gives Techno a look, which makes him snort. “Listen, man, we’re runnin’ on a budget here. If the glow sticks from that concert Wilbur went to work, then we’ll use ‘em.”

“They’re not even UV glow sticks in that case,” Tubbo points out. “Isn’t that the entire point?”

Tommy huffs. “Maybe they’re for fun and giggles and happiness, Tubbo, you bitch. What color do you want?”

Tubbo raises his eyebrow. “You’ve got colors?”

Tommy holds up all the necklaces by the glow stick, the colors peeking out behind his fist. There’s a surprising range, which makes Tubbo wonder how many Wilbur took from his concert, because there are at least seven glow stick necklaces which is way too much for what was initially meant to be a two person job.

“Just get me green,” Tubbo says, holding his hand up to catch the necklace as Tommy tosses it over.

“I will be pink,” Tommy announces triumphantly. He wraps it around his necklace, throwing on two of the same color, which is just unnecessary but if it makes him happy, Tubbo can’t complain. He hands Wilbur a yellow one, which Wilbur accepts distractedly as he tries to get the EMF reader to work. Techno ends up getting a blue one that clashes against his bright pink hair, but Tubbo doesn’t know shit about color theory.

Ranboo is thrown a purple one. He looks at it for a few seconds before whispering to Tubbo, “Hey, what color is this?”

“Purple,” Tubbo replies.

Ranboo looks at it before mumbling, “It looks blue.”

“You’re colorblind, Boo.”

“Oh. You’re right.” Ranboo pauses, staring at it for another few seconds, before shrugging it and putting it over his head. It looks nice on him, but Tubbo’s not going to say that, because Ranboo’s the sappy one in this partnership and it’s going to stay that way, dammit.

Behind them, the door to the house opens suddenly, which startles Tommy bad enough that he reflexively screams. Wilbur flinches at the sound, then scoffs at Tommy and stands up, giving the stranger a friendly smile and saying, “Hi, I’m Wilbur.”

“Hey, man.” The guy looks relatively chill, with a beanie covering his dark hair and a long-sleeved t-shirt. He also has these red eyes, not like he’s been crying much, but kinda like how it looks when someone doesn’t sleep for a while. Tubbo gets that.

“Do you and your boyfriends have somewhere to go while we do this?” Wilbur asks professionally. He’s honestly very good at being professional, Tubbo’s noticed. Maybe he’ll make it far in the freelance world, especially with Techno’s dazzling charisma at his side.

He shakes his head. “Nah. They were just gonna hang out in the kitchen or something while you handle the whole- the whole thing. I do have a question, though.”

“Hit me with it.”

“Are you going to charge me more than we previously agreed upon?” He frowns. “Because there are five of you, I’m noticing.”

Wilbur laughs and waves his hand casually. “Nah, I won’t charge you more. If you want to renegotiate, by all means, we can do that, but these are just my brothers.”

Tommy wrinkles his nose and whispers, “That’s a little fucked up, Wil.”

“Two of them are my brothers,” he corrects. Which isn’t exactly correct, but Tubbo’s used to being conflated as part of the Tommy household. “The other one is my brother’s partner, but he’s good with ghost-hunting too. Sorry, I recognize this isn’t conventional, but we can just leave them in the car if you want?”

The man looks at Wilbur for a moment before shaking his head. “It’s fine. I just want the ghost out.”

“That, we can do,” Techno chimes in to assert something so confidently when Tubbo’s pretty sure they’re literally going to find nothing. “Remind me, you’re, uh.”

“Quackity.”

“Right. Quackity. I’m Techno.”

“So I’ve heard, yeah.”

“Cool.”

There’s a beat of silence, then Tommy breaks the silence again to ask, “Can we go inside? It’s fucking hot out here.”

Wilbur looks like he’s about to scold Tommy, but Quackity laughs, which is a pretty good sign. “Yeah, man, you can come inside. Karl and Sapnap made dinner, I think, if you all wanted it?”

Wilbur is the last one to step in the house and Techno is the first, which is maybe some protective maneuver. Tubbo isn’t a thousand percent sure they briefed Philza enough on the semantics of doing this that he’s aware they’re bringing three seventeen year olds into a stranger’s house.

Wilbur politely replies, “No worries, we ate before we came. I appreciate it though.”

“Of course, of course.” Quackity shuts the door, and Tubbo moves to stand close to Tommy and Ranboo. Tommy’s fidgeting, noticeably more nervous now that they’re in the house. On the other hand, Ranboo just looks curious, eyes flickering quickly from thing to thing inside the household, one gloved hand wrapped around his glow stick necklace.

Wilbur and Techno wander into the kitchen, and by the sounds that Tubbo hears, they find Quackity’s partners in there.

Meanwhile, Quackity turns to look at the three of them, a friendly smile on his face. “What are your names?” he asks.

“I’m Big Man Tommy,” Tommy introduces, a nervous laugh flitting out between his words. He nudges Tubbo’s shoulder and says, “This is Tubbo. He is like a brother to me.” Ranboo’s too far away for him to reach, so he just vaguely gestures in that direction and says, “That’s Ranboo. He is not like a brother to me.”

“Good to meet you three, then.” Quackity seems to find Tommy funny, which makes him at least a little trustworthy and also not that insufferable to be around. Tubbo was a little worried that the owner of the supposed haunted house would be really pretentious or some shit. Quackity seems… a little weird, but fine. “Did Wilbur and Technoblade tell you about the situation?”

“You have a house,” Tubbo starts, which is admittedly not the strongest of starts. “You live with your two boyfriends, and you’re worried there’s a ghost haunting the library.”

“Yeah, that’s basically it.” Quackity sighs. “Bastard’s been here for a while, but he’s really starting to freak us all out. Well, me and Karl, at least. My other boyfriend, Sapnap, doesn’t really believe it’s a ghost, but he’s concerned nonetheless.” Thank God, at least there’s one other non-believer here. “I just want it out.”

“If I may ask, why did you hire Wilbur and Techno?” Ranboo inquires.

Quackity shrugs. “I needed someone willing to come out here. Not a lot of paranormal investigators come up this way, you know, so I took to the internet and found them. They seemed nice enough, said they had the equipment and could come all the way, so I took their offer.”

Ranboo gives Quackity a nod and seems satisfied, returning to a silence broken seconds later as he quietly says, “This is a pretty house.”

“Thank you, we built half of it ourselves,” Quackity jokes. At least, Tubbo thinks so; it sounds like a joke and it’s delivered like a joke, but Quackity looks serious.

Wilbur and Techno return from the kitchen, and Wilbur gives Quackity a thumbs up. “Alright, man, we’ll start looking. We’re gonna be in the library, although Karl said that he was worried about something in the bedroom?”

Quackity shakes his head. “Don’t worry about the bedroom, just the library. Karl gets night terrors, that's all.”

Wilbur nods. “Okay. Then we’ll get started in the library.”

“Thanks for doing this, man. I know I live far out from… most shit, really.”

“You do,” Techno replies bluntly.

Quackity is clearly thrown off by that, but he gets back to what he was saying after a moment. “... Yeah, I appreciate it, is all. Good luck.”

“You too,” Wilbur replies, which is a little ominous, but he starts walking off towards the direction of the supposed library, which, Tubbo’s not even sure he knows what this library is going to look like, because surely they do not just have a whole ass library in the house.

Turns out Tubbo had been incorrect. They do, in fact, have a whole ass library in the house.

It’s part of the more modern extension to the house, which is also weird for a lot of reasons, but as soon as Wilbur pushes open the door, it is unveiled for what it is. Several stories tall at the least and far back enough in the house that it wasn’t easily seen from the front view, all covered with books. There are a few armchairs and tables, with even more books scattered around, but all in all, it’s just… a library.

The second they all walk in, Tubbo feels the temperature drop by at least ten degrees. Which doesn’t make any sense, because the rest of the house was fairly warm, and there’s a fireplace in the library– which, actually, why the fuck do they have a fireplace here, that’s a terrible idea– but that probably means they won’t really need those high school classroom thermometers after all.

“It’s fuckin’ freezing in here!” Tommy complains, shivering in a way that is slightly overdramatized, surely.

Wilbur rolls his eyes and reaches into the duffel bag, bundling up an oversized sweatshirt and tossing it to Tommy. He takes it gratefully and throws it over himself, making sure the glow sticks are securely resting over them. Wilbur looks over to Tubbo next. “I only brought one sweatshirt with me because I knew Tommy was going to be a little bitch-” Tommy lets out an indignant sound and starts complaining, but Wilbur talks over him, “-will you be fine?”

“Yeah, I’m fine with the cold,” Tubbo dismisses. His house loses its heating a lot, so he’s pretty much fine. Plus, Tubbo can just stick by someone and steal a little bit of their warmth. “Still sort of weird it’s this cold in June, though.”

“I don’t hear any AC either,” Techno points out. “Look. Be quiet for a sec.”

Hard task with Tommy in the group, but all of them manage to shut up for at least a couple seconds. Long enough to tell that there’s no vent circulation sounds. Nothing that would indicate that there was air conditioning going on in the room.

“See?” Techno concludes. “Think we can just tell ‘em they need to fix their heating?”

Wilbur’s eyebrows are furrowed. “No, I think there’s something more to this than that. Do you think they would care if we lit the fireplace?”

Techno shrugs. “I’ll ask, hold on.” He walks out of the library, relaxed in comparison to a now high-strung Wilbur, and Tubbo feels a gush of warm air before the wood doors shut again.

“It’s kind of interesting,” Ranboo comments from the bookshelves, which he’s been looking over since they walked in here. “These books are… really well organized. It’s literally like a library, they’re all sorted in the right way. Uh, with the author’s surname and everything. It’s just… really well kept, for a lot of books.” His eyes glance down, and he gestures at one specific shelf. “Except this one. Not that it’s really out of order, just… it’s mostly journals, I think. Not books, just… journals.”

Tubbo walks over to where he’s standing and carefully removes one of the journals, Ranboo holding the adjacent books apart so as to not mess up the order. Tubbo doesn’t open it, because that would be a wild invasion of privacy, but he observes the front cover and notes, “It doesn’t have any distinguishing details compared to the others. All of them are just- just leather.”

“That’s sort of strange, isn’t it?” Tubbo’s suddenly aware that Wilbur and Tommy are having a separate conversation, so it’s the two of them talking alone, now. “I’m honestly a little curious if there’s anything about ghosts here. Or, like, one of those books that ghosts can write in? Do you think they’ve ever tried to get the ghost to actually write something?”

Tubbo shrugs.

Ranboo hums. “I’ll, uh, keep looking at these unless any of you want me to do something else. Are you doing alright?”

Tubbo nods, because Ranboo’s really sweet but he worries too much about him. “I’m fine, big guy, don’t worry. Keep reading those books.”

Ranboo smiles. “Yessir.”

Techno comes back into the library, face blank as always. “We’re in the clear for the fireplace.”

“Sick,” Wilbur responds. He starts fiddling with the firewood as he talks, pulling out a box of matches from his pocket. Tubbo’s not really sure where he goes those from, but Wilbur’s an ex-smoker, so Tubbo guesses it makes sense. “We should get started looking for clues. I think the fireplace is going to be a pretty big sign in terms of if the room gets warmer, if it blows out, shadows, all that. We’re gonna want to turn the lights off after to check for ghost footprints and all that. Then we’ll do the communication stuff.”

“Did you, uh, want to send anyone to the bedroom?” Techno asks.

“That’s what I’m going to do after I light this.” Wilbur starts trying to strike a flame, having to position his hands awkwardly to avoid lighting anything unneeded on fire.

Tommy kneels beside Wilbur to watch the fire, asking as he does, “Why do we need to go into the bedroom? Didn’t Big Q say it was fine?”

“Don’t call a stranger Big Q, Tommy,” Wilbur lightly scolds. He manages to get a small fire going and starts leaning forward to try and let it catch the firewood. “And yes, he did, but Karl outlined some… concerning things about the room. I don’t think Quackity wants us up there, but if me and one other person head up there quietly, it won’t be a big deal.”

Tommy looks ready to counter that, but then the firewood abruptly catches fire, startling both him and Wilbur back. All of them watch with held breath as the fireplace lights up, and Techno turns the lights off seconds before the fire dies out again, as quickly as it started. Wilbur tries to light another fire, but the same thing happens– the fire won’t stay, and the room is freezing still.

“We’re so fucked,” Tommy whispers.

Wilbur stands up, shoving his matchbox back in his pocket. “Techno, Tommy, Ranboo,” he says, voice authoritative. “You three are staying here. Try to see if you can get the ghost to talk to you or if you can see any footprints. Me and Tubbo are going to the bedroom.”

“I am?” Tubbo asks.

“I’m not leaving you three unsupervised for that long or else Dad will kill me,” Wilbur explains, “Tommy’s loud, and Ranboo knows what he’s doing. You’re quiet, and you’re a good liar, if Quackity asks. So, we’re going.”

“Sound enough reasonin’,” Techno approves, “what stuff are you gonna take?”

“I need the crucifix, the spirit box, two of the normal flashlights, and two of the thermometers.” Techno hands him what he needs as he lists it off, and he goes ahead and gives Tubbo a flashlight and a thermometer. Wilbur adds, “Make sure to set up the camera here. And since we have the spirit box, you’re going to want to leave an open book, like I said. Ranboo, are you down to do that?”

Ranboo nods. “Yeah, I- I think some of these books would be, uh, good for it. Some of these labeled books have no writing in them, I’m noticing.” Ranboo says this really casually, but Tubbo has not heard of anything sketchier in his life.

“Then we’re off. Text if you need something. I won’t answer any calls, but if you ring me we’ll come back here. If any of the hosts get weird, call. Most likely, there’s nothing going on upstairs, so we’ll be back anyway.” Wilbur does not look as if he believes his own words. “See you guys. Tubbo, c’mon.”

“Good luck,” Ranboo says softly.

“Get that ghost’s ass!” Tommy says loudly.

Techno says nothing, only gives Wilbur a nod and watches them as they walk out.

“Alright, Tubbo,” Wilbur tells him under his breath, already strategizing, “Gonna go and talk to our hosts, just to see if they’re still there. Then, we’re up.”

“Do you think they’ll get pissed at us?” Tubbo asks, because Wilbur’s right to say that Tubbo is a good liar, but that doesn’t really mean he likes going behind people’s backs like this.

Wilbur shrugs. “One of them wanted us to, so it’ll be fine. Worst case scenario, I have a knife with me.”

“And do you know how to use that knife?”

“Techno taught me.” Wilbur gives him an odd look. “Why, do you?”

“Yeah, I can use a knife.”

Tubbo has, after all, stabbed someone before. Not fatally or anything, and it was self-defense, but, well. It’s a long story. Only Ranboo knows about that, and he really hates it when Tubbo brings it up, but if it can keep both of them safe, then Tubbo doesn’t really see the problem with it. It’s one of few things the two of them argue about. Regardless, Ranboo’s not here at the moment, and Wilbur is a little more pragmatic.

“Good. Then in the worst case scenario, we do that.” Wilbur gives Tubbo a smile before stepping into the kitchen.

Sitting at the table are three men– one of them being Quackity, another with light brown hair, and the third with a white bandana around his head. They’re talking to themselves and laughing, which is a good sign, Tubbo thinks, but Quackity immediately stops when he notices them walk in.

Wilbur raises his hand and says, “Hey, sorry to interrupt you guys again. Just wanted to make sure it’s alright if we set up a camera in the library? It can catch ghost activity or let us know if something is tampering with the device.”

“That’s fine,” the bandana guy says. “Whatever you guys gotta do.”

“Awesome, thank you,” Wilbur taps Tubbo’s shoulder, and the two of them walk out of the kitchen.

Tubbo silently follows as Wilbur takes off his shoes and starts walking up the stairs. Tubbo does the same, tense every second that the house creaks, but seeing as the laughter from the kitchen has returned, Tubbo doesn’t think they’re at any risk yet.

The bedroom looks very normal. There’s a king bed in the center of it and a master bathroom, with a really big closet and a single chest at the end of the bed. Tubbo figures the only reason everything is so large is because of the number of people staying in there, which is entirely fair. What he’s more confused with is how absolutely normal it is, then– the library was pretty fucking weird, Tubbo will be honest, but this looks… fine?

“Alright, Tubbo.” Wilbur isn’t whispering anymore, but he’s still keeping his voice low, which makes sense. Tubbo’s probably gonna just stick to whispering, just as an in-case thing, but they should be secure enough. “Apparently, Karl has been able to see someone walking around this room late at night. Neither Sapnap nor Quackity have seen it, but Karl seemed pretty convinced.”

“Do you believe it?” Tubbo feels a little weird just carrying his shoes around, so he leaves them beside the door. “Like, all this ghost shit in general, but also that?”

“It doesn’t matter what I believe,” Wilbur admits honestly, “it’s money, and it’s fun. I haven’t fucked with most of these gadgets since I was like, ten.”

“But do you believe it?”

There’s a beat of silence– not completely, since there is ventilation up here, apparently– before Wilbur replies, “Sort of. Not really. I believe in it more than Techno does.”

“Is that so?”

“Techno believes in a higher being, not a bunch of otherworldly things,” Wilbur explains. “I’m the exact opposite. Anyway, the temperatures are to monitor– if they drop, ghost activity. Flashlights are mostly just to see in the dark, since I left the others with the UV ones. Crucifix is to ward off the ghost or some shit, I dunno, we just had one around so I got it. And the spirit box is the big guy. If the temperature drops, we start it.”

“Sounds good.”

“The thing with the spirit box, though, is that one of us has to be out of the room.” Wilbur adds, and Tubbo frowns.

“Then why’d you bring me with you, bossman?”

“So I have a second eye on things.” Wilbur sets the crucifix down on top of the bed, moving some of the curtains to be kept entirely shut, and says, “Also, I thought you should do it.”

“What?” Tubbo had not been made aware of this part of the plan. “Why? Wouldn’t Ranboo be better for that? Or, you know, you?”

Wilbur sighs. “I’m… bad. With ghosts.”

“You’re a freelance ghost-hunter from Fiverr, Wilbur, I don’t think Quackity’s expecting high quality results.”

“No, just…” Wilbur goes quiet for long enough that Tubbo’s convinced he’s not going to say anything else, and he starts fiddling with the thermometer, sitting on the edge of the bed before wandering into the bathroom before coming back out, restlessly checking, until Wilbur abruptly finishes his sentence with, “I’ve tried to talk to ghosts in the past, and they don’t like me.”

Tubbo looks up and tries to meet Wilbur’s eyes, but Wilbur averts them. “And you think I’m a better choice?” Tubbo doesn’t even believe in ghosts. “Don’t know if you didn’t realize this, but unless you count me and Tommy fucking with a Ouija board when we were eleven talking to ghosts, I’ve never done this before.”

“So they might like you,” Wilbur retorts, and Tubbo still doesn’t think Wilbur’s getting this, but then he meets his eyes and says, quietly, “Do it for me, Tubbo?”

And ultimately, Tubbo is a little weak to people in his life asking him to do things for them, be it sitting in a not-really-a-seat middle seat, or leaving the knives at home instead of his pocket, or trying to communicate with a ghost through a spirit box. So, Tubbo just sighs and responds, “Fine.”

Wilbur grins. “I’ll get you a smoothie after.”

“At midnight?”

“I know a place.”

“Sure. Also, the temperature isn’t dropping at all,” Tubbo points out. “I’ve been watching this bitch since I got ‘im, and literally jack all is happening.”

“Did you try the bathroom?”

“I tried fucking everywhere,” Tubbo insists. He goes into the bathroom just to prove his point, and sure enough, nothing happens. Just a nice room temperature bathroom.

“Huh.” Wilbur’s eyebrows are knitted, and after a second, he gets a different thermometer and traces Tubbo’s steps. He concludes after, “I thought yours might be broken, but mine is doing the same thing.”

“I reckon the ghost is in the library,” Tubbo tells Wilbur, but Wilbur’s already distracted again, that pensive expression lingering on his face as he slowly walks corner to corner through the bedroom. Nothing seems to happen for the most part, but the second that Wilbur walks by the window, he stops.

Tubbo rolls his eyes. “Wilbur, it’s a window. Of course it’s going to drop-”

“It’s June, Tubbo, like you said earlier,” Wilbur argues. He gestures Tubbo over, who begrudgingly walks over and looks at the thermometer. His breath catches, and Wilbur nods. “Yeah, pretty normal of June for temperatures to drop by seven degrees, what do you say, Tubbo?”

“I don’t believe in ghosts, Wilbur, I’ll level with you.”

Wilbur’s lip quirks up. “You ready to talk to one?”

“Oh, go on, then,” Tubbo concedes begrudgingly, taking the spirit box in his hand. “How the fuck does this work?” He clicks a button and immediately, loud static noises are let out. His heart stops and he quickly shuts it off. “That’s really loud, Wilbur, I don’t know if we…”

“They know we’re going to be making noise,” Wilbur says.

“But we’re not where we’re supposed to be.”

“You aren’t, maybe.” Wilbur’s smirk morphs into a full blown grin, one of the ones he gives when he’s outsmarted someone or figured something out. “But I’m heading back downstairs, swinging by to talk to them about the temperature of the library. Unless this ghost likes monologuing, I can buy you time. And let’s be honest, man, there’s five of us and three of them. They’re not going to tear this house apart looking for you.”

Tubbo listens, and he feels a thick knot form in his gut. Part of it is anxiety, maybe, but there’s excitement there, too. Because Tubbo doesn’t like lying, but he likes being trusted. And Wilbur’s trusting him with this, even if he’s being weird about it like always. And Tubbo would rather talk to a ghost he doesn’t think exists then be bored to hell and back, doing nothing.

“Click the button like you did before, and it’s going to flip through radio frequencies,” Wilbur explains. “Ask a question, it’ll answer.”

“Sure.”

“One last thing, Tubbo,” Wilbur says, and he gives Tubbo a serious look. “Just in case. Only ask them about their age and location.”

“Like a dating app,” Tubbo blurts out. Maybe the anxiety is getting to him.

Wilbur laughs. “Yes, like a dating app. Just… don’t ask anything that could get an aggressive response.”

“Yessir.”

“Then I’m off.” Wilbur grabs his shoes and opens the door quietly. “Leave the lights off. When you get what you need, call. Otherwise, I’ll be up in ten minutes.”

Then, Wilbur closes the door, and Tubbo’s alone in darkness aside from the light of his glowstick.

“Okay,” Tubbo whispers to himself, grabbing one of the flashlights off the bed and turning it on. He thinks that wouldn’t be a problem, right? Well, if the ghost has a problem with that, he can suck it.

Once he has at least a little more light, he can breathe a lot easier. Tubbo’s not scared of the dark– he actually is more scared of bright lights than the darkness, funnily enough– but he still doesn’t like feeling as if any of his senses are muted.

He sits down beside the window, with his back to the wall, and turns on the spirit box. The static scares him like it did before, but he forces himself to keep it going, trusting that Wilbur will keep them all distracted enough that he can avoid a confrontation. Not that Tubbo couldn’t get his way out of it, but sometimes he clams up and– yeah, he doesn’t want to deal with that, actually, not at all.

“Hello, ghost,” he says to the empty room, because that’s as good an opener as any. “I- uh, okay. Are you old? Or, shit, that might be a bad question. Uh. How old are you?”

The static continues, and nothing happens.

Tubbo nods. “Okay. Are you from around here? I’m actually from a while away, myself, me and my friends. Well. Friends is the wrong way to describe them. You get what I mean. You probably don’t, you’re a ghost. Uh. Where are you from?”

Nothing happens, still, and Tubbo opens his mouth to say something, until he hears a sound that isn’t the static noise, nor is it footsteps.

It’s probably something outside, but hey, if all of this is bullshit, then Tubbo’s allowed to collect more to add to it. So Wilbur and Techno can get money to buy them smoothies. Yeah. “Did you say something, bossman? Where are you from?”

This time, Tubbo hears the sound much more clearly.

It sounds like someone saying, “I’m close.”

Tubbo blinks.

… Well, that’s fucking weird, alright. But this spirit box is also literally over a decade old, so Tubbo doesn’t really trust this shit, honestly.

“Sounds cool. Same here, actually. I am also, uh. I am also close.” Tubbo rests his chin on his knee. “Say, can you tell me if you’re old or not?”

“Old,” the spirit box replies.

This is so fucking batshit. Alright. “Cool. I’m young, personally. Well, older than Tommy and Ranboo. We… think. Ranboo’s birth certificate is really weird. It got fucked up because he was born the day the courthouses shut, something about a flood. I dunno. Anyway, uh, want to talk? Talk to me, man, tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m close,” the spirit box repeats.

“That’s cool. Do you say anything else?”

“I’m close.”

“How close?” Maybe Tubbo can outsmart the supposed ghost. Really, he knows that the spirit box is probably fucked up and is just saying the same stuff over and over, but he can try, can’t he? “Like, you’re close. But how close?”

“I’m close.”

“I’m starting to think I’m the only one giving in this relationship,” Tubbo complains. “Me and Ranboo aren’t like this, so you’re gonna need to step it up. How close are you?”

“I’m close.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Tubbo huffs and rolls his eyes, letting his head hit the wall. “Do you have a name, at least? Can I call you, uh… Jared?”

Tubbo hopes that everyone else is having some fun downstairs, because it’s getting a little boring sitting in the complete darkness, freezing his ass off, and talking to a broken spirit box Wilbur got eleven years ago that just repeats the same few phrases. “Can you give me a name? My name’s- actually, I won’t tell you my name. I probably shouldn’t have told the people who live here my name, actually, but Sapnap and Karl don’t know, at least. Anyway. Name? Please?”

There’s a rush of air from outside, and then Tubbo hears, “Karl.”

So it's just echoes. Damn. “You know, today is the first time I ever learned there are actually Karl,” Tubbo tells the spirit box conversationally. “I don’t know how my heart’s gonna take it finding out there’s two. Like, that’s such an objectively shit name, if you think about it. Fucking Karl. It reminds me of this video Tommy showed me years ago– which was actually pretty funny, but still– like. That’s such a shit name.”

The static continues.

“To be fair, my full name is literally Tuberculosis. Which- actually, no, you know what? Tuberculosis is a cooler name than Karl. Mostly because eight year old me picked it out and he was pretty cool. Just a guy, y’know?” Tubbo pauses. “Okay, this is getting really boring. I’m out. And you’re close, I guess.”

“I’m close,” the spirit box confirms.

Tubbo shuts it off, ears ringing now that the room is absent of static, and he pulls out his phone to call Wilbur. He lets it ring twice before he hangs up, and after sitting there for another minute, he gets a text back.

Wilbur: Come down the stairs, I’m waiting for you down there pretending to call Phil.

[

Tubbo: k

Tubbo gets up and grabs all the equipment, which is a pain in the ass, honestly, and decides that he probably doesn’t have arm space to carry his shoes, too. So, he leaves them there, walking down the stairs until he sees Wilbur, talking to himself about curfews and the like.

Wordlessly, Tubbo shoves his stuff into Wilbur’s arms and then goes back up the stairs. When he gets back into the bedroom and grabs his shoes, he notices that the curtains are wide open.

Weird.

Tubbo makes it back to the foyer and gives Wilbur a thumbs up, and after he gets his shoes back on, the two of them start walking back to the library.

“How’d it go?” Wilbur asks.

“Your spirit box is old as hell,” Tubbo replies, and Wilbur’s eyes light up.

“Does that mean you heard something?”

That’s the exact opposite of what Tubbo was trying to get across. “Yeah. But it was the same bullshit over and over.”

“Really?” Wilbur presses. “Nothing different?”

“It told me it was old,” Tubbo amends, “and when I asked for a name, it told me Karl. But it also kept repeating ‘I’m close’ over and over again, even when it didn’t make sense, so I think there’s just something up with your spirit box.” Wilbur pales, but Tubbo shrugs and pushes open the library door, adding before he does, “Also, the curtains were open when I went back to get my shoes.”

“Aye, Tubbo!” Tommy shouts excitedly from where he lays on the floor, swirling salt around. “Can we go now? Techno’s been staring at the camera for the past five minutes silently, and it’s starting to freak me out a little, I’ll be quite honest.”

Tubbo squints, glancing at Techno, who is sitting on the armchair doing exactly that. “Why?”

“He’s looking for ghost orbs,” Ranboo elaborates. He has a book open in front of him, and both of his gloves are off, his pale hands smeared with charcoal instead. “I didn’t get anything from writing. I don’t know, maybe I did something wrong.”

“No,” Wilbur says, a little breathlessly. “The ghost is in the bedroom.”

“That wasn’t a ghost, Wilbur,” Tubbo argues. “Literally, your spirit box is just fucked up. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

“The ghost talked to Tubbo through the spirit box,” Wilbur explains, ignoring Tubbo’s side comment. He sighs and goes to sit down beside Ranboo, who wraps an arm around him. Despite Ranboo’s poor circulation, he’s surprisingly warm. “The ghost said he was close, he was old, and said his name was Karl-”

“I asked for a name,” Tubbo corrects, “and the spirit box echoed back Karl. The name I had just said aloud.”

Wilbur runs a hand through his hair. “And we shut the curtains, but Tubbo left the room quickly and when he came back, they were open.”

There’s a silence, and then Techno says for the first time, “I’ll be honest, I’m with Tubbo on this. But, I think we should tell the guys.”

“We didn’t expel it, though,” Ranboo points out. “If it’s still there, and possibly agitated, then- then we really shouldn’t leave them with it. Did anything, uh, did anything keep it… calm?”

“The crucifix,” Wilbur says. “I bet the crucifix did. And, Tubbo, you didn’t- you didn’t ask any aggravating questions, right?”

“Nope,” Tubbo promises. “I’m a man of my word.”

Wilbur sighs. “Okay. Then, hm. Techno, let’s talk to our hosts. You three, put everything in the duffel bag and head back to the car.” Techno nods and reaches into his pocket, pulling out his car keys and handing them to Ranboo, who holds onto them tightly. “We’ll be back anywhere from five minutes to thirty. Keep yourselves company. Techno, c’mon.”

The two of them leave the library and shut the door, and the three of them are just left there sitting.

“Be honest with me, Tubbo,” Tommy says, “were you bullshitting that?”

Tubbo shakes his head. “No, I genuinely wasn’t.”

Tommy pauses, then he lets out a scream. “What the fuck, man, that’s fucked up! Why is it- why did it talk to you?”

“It didn’t. Because ghosts aren’t real.” Tubbo glances at Ranboo, who has started to put the book and charcoal away, and meekly adds, “Sorry.”

“Oh, you’re okay,” Ranboo reassures. “I just… I’m confused why the library is, uh. Like this, for lack of a better word. If you heard something in the bedroom, I would guess that’s the place of more concern, but this library is still… really, really odd.”

“They have four fucking copies of Macbeth, Tubbo,” Tommy says, seemingly calmed down now. “Four. Why the fuck do they have that many copies of Macbeth.”

“It’s a good play,” Ranboo defends.

“You don’t invite someone to your house when you have four fucking copies of Macbeth, what does that make us? We’re like the… who's the guy who dies in Macbeth?”

“... Macbeth?”

“The other guy.”

“Tommy, a lot of guys die in Macbeth,” Ranboo replies, sounding a little confused. He manages to pack everything into the duffel bag, and Tubbo feels a little bad for not helping, but to be fair, this is amusing to listen to. “It’s not- a whole family is massacred at one point, I don’t really- I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Tommy gets up from the floor finally, kicking the salt under an arm chair before pushing the library door open. Tubbo gets the lights while Ranboo carries everything out, and the three of them walk past the kitchen and head out to the car.

“Which one’s the hot one, though?” Tommy asks.

Ranboo blinks. “Uh. You’re asking the wrong person for this.”

Tommy huffs. “Tubbo, which one’s the hot one?”

“You are asking an even worse person for this, considering that I can’t fucking read,” Tubbo responds, “but, uh, isn’t that Banquo guy kinda, like-”

“Tubbo, please don’t call Banquo hot,” Ranboo interjects.

“You talk about him a lot.”

Ranboo exhales, sounding a little exasperated. “His dying lines are cool, that’s all.”

“Oh my fucking God, Lady Macbeth,” Tommy blurts out. “That’s who I was thinking of. The hot lady.”

“Oh.” Ranboo struggles to open the car with two full hands, so he hands Tubbo the keys. After a few shots, Tubbo gets the car open, and the two of them pile in the back seat while Tommy futilely crawls in the passenger’s side. It gives Tubbo space to breathe, at least. “Yeah, I, uh. To each their own. I’m gay, so.”

“Why are we still talking about this?” Tubbo complains, leaning his head against Ranboo’s shoulder.

“I dunno. I’m killing time ‘til Wil and Techno get back.”

They have to kill a hell of a lot more of it before the two of them finally leave the house. Wilbur comes out smiling, which is a good sign, even if Techno looks emotionless as ever. They get to the car and Techno slides into the driver’s seat while Wilbur tries to pull Tommy out of the passenger’s side while he flails and kicks him.

“Cain instinct,” Ranboo whispers, and Tubbo smiles.

“How are you?” He checks in, “I know this stuff can get intense for you.”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Ranboo weaves his fingers between Tubbo’s, and the feeling of fake leather against Tubbo’s skin is as comforting as always. He wonders if the charcoal is smudging underneath the fabric, if a little bit of it will get on Tubbo later. “I might have weird dreams about a library tonight, haha, but I’m fine.”

“Call me if you’re not,” Tubbo tells him, because that always goes for them, but Ranboo’s not the best at reaching out when he needs it; he’s always worried about bothering Tubbo when Tubbo literally would go to hell and back for him. And then, because everyone else is distracted, Tubbo chances it and whispers, “Love you.”

Ranboo nods. “I will. And I love you too.”

The nice moment is pretty quickly ended by Tommy tumbling into the backseat, slamming into Tubbo’s side and making both of them fall onto Ranboo’s lap, who is still holding Tubbo’s hand but is looking down at both of them with a slightly concerned expression on his face.

The two of them straighten up and untangle their limbs, and Wilbur says from the passenger’s seat, “Well, I promised Tubbo smoothies, so we’re getting those.”

“Wake me up when we get there,” Tommy requests, “I’m going to fucking sleep.”

“It really doesn’t feel like it’s late right now,” Tubbo comments. “This was kind of fun, even if it was all bullshit.”

“Yeah, I don’t know how our ratings are going to look, honestly,” Techno admits, “but, uh. This was kind of fun. And we still got money that we’re now going to spend on smoothies, so. That’s pretty cool.”

“And now you know to bring us with you when you go ghost-hunting.”

There’s a silence in the car, then, one that lasts for a second but feels longer. Tommy has his eyes shut on one side of Tubbo, and on the other, Ranboo is looking out at the mountains with a thoughtful expression on his face. Techno is driving with a rhythmic whir of the engine, and Wilbur is popping a piece of gum in his mouth to counter his ears hurting from the altitude later. And it’s nice, honestly– it’s nice being out here, even though it’s late, even though Tubbo has to go home after this unless Ranboo’s mothers let him crash the night, even though he a little worried he was going to get murdered in the middle of nowhere an hour or so ago. It’s all just… nice. It feels a little like living, ironically enough.

Then, Wilbur scoffs and says, “There’s no fucking way I’m letting you guys come with us again,”

and by its nature, the car explodes into chaos again.