#Dude they’re all jus horrible | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

soyeahitsmiddleearth · 5 years ago

Text

One Weary Human

The Company x Reader

All of the company is drunk. The twist? None of them act the way you’d expect, like at all. Shy Bilbo is all flirty, chill Bofur keeps wanting to start bar fights, Kili/Fili try to be philosophical, Dwalin is the “You’re my best friend. I just love you so much, man,” type of guy, and Thorin is actually FUN and FUNNY. The reader is just sitting there feeling like she’s legitimately in the fucking Twilight Zone ---middleearth2asgard

---

You knew you should've stopped them from drinking all that ale.

Over and over again you thought to yourself that this night won't end well if you don't put a cap on their drinking, but each time you came close to interfering you kinda just decided that letting them have fun is better.

I mean, they've earned it so why not let them enjoy their first night out of danger after all those awful things that happened? Dragons, trolls, orcs, near-death experiences, a war, thousands of horrible things and one night to unwind and be happy. You can't very well take that away from them.

But you really should've.

By the time they polished off the first half of the barrel of ale they are completely wasted, and it's hard to keep track of them amidst the sea of men, other dwarves, and elves who survived the battle.

Well, maybe not wasted since they can still talk and walk around sort of well, but they're definitely inebriated.

You had maybe a quarter mug of drink before you realized they'll need someone to watch over them, so after that you gave up and decided to make sure none of them do anything stupid (also, ale tastes horrible so you don't wanna finish it).

Which, to some extent, they do.

Act stupid, I mean.

It's just the complete opposite of who you thought it would be.

You honestly thought that your biggest issue would be Fili and Kili, and probably Dwalin, but as it turns out they aren't even close to being a problem.

As it turns out, your biggest issue at the moment happens to be Bofur, Bilbo, and Ori.

Bofur is, quite literally, trying to start a fight with everybody. Bilbo won't leave you alone, and flirting with you so shamelessly. And Ori... won't stop crying no matter what you do.

For the life of you, you don't know what to do.

Every time you tell Bofur to calm down he tells you to square up (more or less), when you try to console Ori he cries even harder, and Bilbo... he has pickup lines for days.

"Bofur! For the last time, sit down and stop glaring at everyone!" You snap, grabbing the back of his shirt when he starts yelling at someone for 'looking at him funny' while also patting the back of Ori's head comfortingly.

"E-Everyone is so mean to me..." Ori sniffles and sobs, reaching up to grab onto your hand, using it to wipe his tears away like a tissue.

You cringe but let the young dwarf do it since he's sobbing so much, and when he releases you, you turn to Bofur.

"Stop tellin' me what to do!" He shoots back angrily, though he doesn't fight you when you force him to take a seat. "Damn woman..."

"Bilbo, please keep an eye on these two while I find everyone else." You tell the small hobbit making heart eyes at you.

"Surely, my dear, you would much rather stay with me?"

You kinda just stare at him for a moment before slowly saying, "Do as I say."

He doesn't reply to that and takes a seat, listening to you surprisingly enough.

Once that's done you slide off your chair and try to find everyone else, noticing Thorin right away since he's... doing stand up comedy?

He's standing on a table and the group that's gathered around him is laughing their asses off, telling him to give them more jokes which shocks you to your very core. This mans is the complete opposite of funny and chill.

"And then I told him that no pretty pixie of an elf will talk to me like that!"

The crowd around him roars with laughter and applause, and while you didn't hear the first part of his 'joke' it still doesn't humor you.

You fight your way through the countless bodies and finally get to the table, cupping your hands over your mouth so he can hear you when you yell, "Thorin! It's time to go!"

"Y/N! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Thorin calls happily, successfully putting the attention onto you. "I've lost my nephews! Have you seen them by any chance?"

Why is he asking you???

You shake your head slowly and reply, "No, why would I know where they are?"

"Well, you certainly seem to know the whereabouts of their tongues quite well!" He calls with loud boisterous laughter while everyone around proceeds to find it funny too.

You kinda just stand there for a moment, looking up at him blankly before your face begins to grow hot.

Okay, you know what? No, you're not dealing with this right now.

Very slowly you begin to back away, trying to both avoid eye contact with everyone and also trying to keep yourself from blowing up on the new king.

Where did he get such an idea from anyway? Freaking dummy.

"There she goes, off to another royal snogging!"

More laughter, but you're disappeared and gone before anyone can poke anymore fun at you for something that most certainly did not happen.

The next person you find, coincidentally, is the princes, and you're pleased to see them sitting mellowly at a table and having a conversation.

"There you boys are! Thank god you're not drunk, if you could please help me to gather-" and then you hear their conversation and horribly slurred speech.

"No, I'm tellin' ya, Fee, there's no way lovin' is easier than being loved. It jus' doesn' make sense." Kili tells his brother while shaking his head.

"Of course it does! When ya love then ya don' have t' worry about your own feelin' anymore, 'cause then you already know."

Are these two really discussing the complexity of loving versus being loved?

"An' how would you know that?" Kili asks, shaking his head back in fourth a bit too much to show his disagreement.

"Tha's none of your busn'ess." He slurs back, pointing a finger at him accusingly.

"How can we even be sure that it's real in tha first place?"

"Are you sayin' you don't love me?" Fili challenges.

Kili freaks out and shakes his head, "N-No no! Of course I do!"

"You better, 'm your brother." Fili grumbles, turning his head until he notices you, "Oh! Y/N!"

You're quiet for a moment, kinda just looking at them oddly since their conversation both makes no sense, but also makes all the sense.

They take your silence as a go ahead to continue their 'discussion' and Fili then brings up, "Well wha' about Y/N?"

"What about her?" Kili asks back, laying his head down on the table after a moment.

"Nnoo, 'm askin' her."

"You didn't ask me anything." You chime in, reaching over to take their mugs from them. "You two are making no sense."

"Wellll, I think she would rather be loved since it doesn' make sense tha' loving is easier." Kili grumbles, trying to reinforce his point through you.

"I don't think it really matters at the moment, boys. Why don't you both come with me and we can all take a nap and sleep off our drunkenness..."

"No! It does matter!" They both yell at the same time, successfully earning a sigh from you.

"But-"

"Y/N!" Someone calls excitedly suddenly.

You turn your head slowly, but before you can put a face to the voice, someone it crushing you in a big hug.

"Have I told you that you're an excellent woman?" The person crushing the life out of you asks, and it's at that moment that you realize it's... Dwalin.

"U-Uh, no, not really-"

"Well, that's a shame! You're wonderful." He confirms with a quiet hiccup, holding you slightly tighter when you start to squirm.

"Alright, thank you Dwalin but if you could please-"

"See! My point is proven." Fili slurs triumphantly, pointing at you and Dwalin. "He's havin' a ball, nd' she's freakin' out!"

"That h-haaas nothing to do with love, Fee!" Kili grumps back, smacking Fili on the shoulder harshly.

"Hey! Who do you think yer lookin' at!?" An all to familiar, standoffish voice bellows to your left.

You turn your head and see Bofur trying to get some huge dude to throw some punches, and then you hear more jokes from Thorin across the room, Ori's wails, and Bilbo flirting with some other person.

Mahal save your soul.

"You three." You call suddenly, gaining the attention of Dwalin, Fili, and Kili (the three you thought you would be having the most problems with). "Whoever gathers the most of our friends outside gets a big prize."

Kili gasps and asks, "A big prize?"

"The biggest prize." You confirm, feeling relieved when Dwalin lets you go.

"What is the prize?" Dwalin asks, looking at you with a very uncharacteristic grin on his face.

"I can't tell you, it's a secret until one of you wins."

"Oh, I'm gonna get more than you two!" Fili calls, struggling to get up from his seat before Kili, the two pushing and shoving each other while they fight to stand.

"No fighting or you are disqualified." You warn, wagging a finger at them.

Thank god they listen.

---

You manage to gather the original three (Ori, Bilbo, and Bofur) and Nori, and get them outside of the party hall, trying your best to calm Bofur and Ori while Bilbo keeps on calling you beautiful and complimenting you.

Eventually, Dwalin walks out with two dwarves. Balin (who is sober, thank god) and Dori.

The next person to show up is Kili, and he has Bombur and Gloin.

Finally, Fili emerges from the hall and managed to swipe Oin and Bifir.

You smile at them brightly before you realize you're one short, "Where's Thorin?"

Fili sighs and answers, "I tried ta get 'im but he made fun of me until I left."

That sounds about right.

"I tried, too! But he kep' callin' me names." Dwalin grumbles while Kili nods.

"Yea-h, he kep' pokin' fun at my beard." Kili agrees, looking at the two he gathered, "Who won?"

"None of you, it's a tie." You reply, shaking your head.

A part of you is glad, actually that they all have the same amount, because you have no idea what the supposed 'big prize' is supposed to be. "I'll have to find a way to get Thorin, I guess..." You state wearily, already growing tired of their shenanigans.

" 'm sorry." The three you assigned to help you say sadly, looking at you with big upset eyes.

"N-No, it's fine! Just, keep everyone out here, okay? I'll be right back."

---

Suffice to say you were not 'right back' at all.

The moment you walked back up to Thorin he started making more jokes about you 'being with' different people in the original company, and very quickly does your patience wear thin.

At some point you just lose it and end up grabbing his ear and dragging him out of the party hall while people boo at you for being a fun killer.

Once you've successfully made him leave, you push him out the doors and do a quick headcount to make sure everyone is still there.

You take them all to a private wing where they all have their rooms in as well as a private kitchen Bombur introduced you to.

"Okay, good. Now that we're all gathered up in one place... Come with me to the kitchen. Lets eat a bit and have some water, okay?"

"Is there more ale?" Dwalin asks with the same smile.

"No!" You snap a bit angrier than you mean to, "No more alcohol for any of you."

That successfully shuts them up.

Once everyone is seated at the table in the newly stocked kitchen, you go through the cupboards and collect some berries and bread, bringing them over to the table so they can get something in their stomachs to absorb all that alcohol.

You give them all some chunks of bread and leave a handful or two for everyone (more for the bigger of them), then you walk off to get some water. Balin helps you out with it all (being as he's barely even tipsy), and eventually everyone has water and some food.

It doesn't take long for everything to disappear into their stomachs, and once they've done as you instructed you start to help some of them to their individual rooms.

Nori and Dori drag Ori to the room they share, Balin takes care of Dwalin, Bombur excuses himself and thanks you heartily, but you have to take care of everyone else unfortunately.

First, you deal with Bifir, Oin, and Gloin, which isn't too hard luckily.

Bifir says something you can't understand and gives you a hug before going off to bed, and Oin thanks you tiredly before closing his door. Gloin smiles at you, being less drunk then those left behind, and thanks you as well before heading off to sleep.

Now you're left with Bilbo, Thorin, Fili and Kili, and, finally, Bofur.

When you reenter the kitchen, Thorin is laughing about something he said no doubt, and Bofur is glaring at him so angrily you're afraid he might actually hit him.

"B-Bofur!" You call, running over to stand between them before wrapping your arm around his waist when he starts to wobble and walk towards Thorin.

Right away he stops and leans into you, still glaring at Thorin while he wraps an arm around you in return, "Wha' is it?"

"Come along, I'm going to take you to your room for bed. You too, Bilbo, come here."

Bilbo has no problem walking over to you (though he does sway a bit) and stands next to you while you begin to take Bofur out of the room. "That's a good boy, come on." You usher them both out and, eventually, manage to get Bofur to his room so he can sleep it off.

You shuffle him to his bed, and once he's seated you tell him to take off his shoes. While he does that, you swipe his hat and lay it on the bedside table, pulling his blanket back so he can lay down.

Once he climbs in, you pull the covers up over him and pat his head, "There you are. Go ahead and sleep for me, dear, cause you're going to feel dreadful in the morning."

He closes his eyes while grumbling something about being told what to do, of course he listens nonetheless and doesn't move or say anything else.

You lean down and kiss his forehead lightly, then turn and leave the room.

The door thumps softly when you shut it, and then you grab Bilbo's arm and walk with him to his room.

"You're simply stunning in this light, Y/N." Bilbo tells you, wrapping an arm around you despite being able to walk fine. "Completely breathtaking."

"Thank you, Bilbo. Though, you're going to be mortified tomorrow. I can imagine you'll be begging for forgiveness within an hour of waking up." You comment, opening up his door so you can take him to his bed.

"W-"

"Not a word." You cut him off quickly, knowing that he's going to say something very not appropriate, for both your sake and his.

He climbs into bed without further coaxing, though you do have to take off his coat for him and fluff up his pillow a bit, but once he's nestled under the covers, he doesn't go to sleep.

Instead he stares at you with baggy eyes, and smiles lightly, "You look radiant."

"As you've said a few times, Bilbo. You spoil me." You lean down and press a light kiss to his forehead next, and when you stand up straight again he reaches up and taps your nose.

You giggle softly and grab his hand, placing it back at his side before walking over to the door.

"Goodnight, Bilbo."

"G'night, Y/N."

When you arrive back at the kitchen, Thorin is gone and only Fili and Kili remain, talking about another odd topic once more.

"Where did Thorin go?" You ask, looking around then back down the hall.

"His head hurt, and he went to bed." Kili replies chipperly, smiling brightly.

Well, that does make your job a fair bit easier.

"Alright. Well, boys it's time for bed so come along." You tell them in a gentle voice, gesturing for them to come to you with a wave of your hand.

Somehow they manage to get to their feet, but after they take a few steps it becomes painfully obvious that there's no way they'll be able to make it, like Bofur.

Right away you go over to Kili and have him wrap an arm around your waist, and, somehow, you manage to shuffle forward with him to his brother who is looking very unstable at the moment.

You get Fili to wrap an arm around you as well, and once you've got them both you proceed to, very slowly, shuffle your way to their room.

At some point Kili started to press his face into your neck and Fili began to lean into you more heavily. If it weren't for the fact that you had one of them on either side of you, you probably would've toppled over.

Eventually, you do manage to get them to their room, and once you do you bring them to their beds (there are two).

You have them both sit down and go to light a candle, and once that's done you turn back to see if their laid down yet. Only, their both looking down at their feet as if they expect their shoes to taken themselves off.

With a heavy sigh, you walk over to Fili and crouch down, taking off his shoes with little difficulty. "There you go, now take off your jacket and lay down."

Fili nods his head and begins to shrug off his coat, so you turn and go to Kili, pulling off his shoes next.

Once he's barefoot, you stand and smooth his hair back lightly, "You take off your coat too, okay?"

"A'right." He mumbles, doing just as you said.

You step away and take a few steps; and, once their both laying down, you go to Fili and pull his covers up to his chin.

"Do you sleep with your braids in?" You ask quietly once he's tucked in.

"N't my mustache ones..." He replies with his eyes closed.

You nod, though he can't see it, and reach down and pull the clips off, placing them on the beside table so he can grab them tomorrow morning.

Once he's settled, you lean down and press a kiss to his head, then turn and go to Kili. You're basically on a seesaw with these two, tending to one for a moment before going to the other.

Kili is sitting up with his legs under the blanket, but when you walk over he lays down completely and waits for you to give him the same treatment as his brother.

You grab the top of his comforter and pull it up until it covers most of his chest, and once that's done you reach behind his head and pull the clip from the back of his head, off. "Is there anything else?" You ask softly while placing his beaded clip down as well.

"No..."

You nod, then lean down and kiss his forehead like you've done to literally everyone else.

"Alright. Goodnight then, boys."

#the hobbit #the company of thorin oakenshield #thorin oakenshield #reader insert #reader #fili x reader #kili x reader #thorins company #bilbo #the hobbit bilbo #bilbo x reader #fili #kili #bofur x reader #bofur #dwalin #dwalin x reader #ori #originally posted on ao3

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hai-nakyuu · 4 years ago

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I have saw your previous post about haikyuu boys personalities turn180 when they are around you. I would absolutely love if you do it for Kageyama and Tsukishima too. (or characters you would like you write too)

haikyuu boys whose personalities would do a 180 when they’re around you (part 2)

includes: kageyama, tsukishima

kageyama

(okay this was quite hard for me because you ALL know what a chaotic baby boi he is JASJAKSJAKJSKAKSLA also before we get started omg this baby’s birthday is the day after mine!!)

so kageyama’s naturally intimidating

i mean have you seen him try to smile??

but with you, oh, the baby tries his damn best to be an ideal boyfriend.

it’s so cute and endearing, cause you see how he kinda gets around you.

even if he messes up just a teeny tiny bit, he will apologize

please let him know his efforts are valid, bb boy is doing his best

“GWAH-!” hinata once again receives too late and gets another ball to the face.

“BOKE!” kageyama almost growls, fanning himself with the collar of his shirt. “get up and help me, i need to get this perfect by the end of the practice.”

hinata grumbles and scrambles off the maple floor, but does a double take at the setter’s words.

“did... did you just say you need my help?”

the rest of the team hears it too. they’re all staring at him, and kageyama fights the urge to punch something, particularly an orange-haired freak.

“i did, boke. now get up before i follow up that ball with another.”

“kageyama,” hinata pops a mentos and runs back to the net, “what do you even need to practice for? there isn’t a match until next month-”

“or is tobio-kun trying to impress a special someone?” sugawara raises a cocky eyebrow. the vice-captain knows what his successor’s trying to do.

“wha- sugawara-san- i-” kageyama stutters on his words.

“OH HE IS!” tanaka and nishinoya bounce around him. “TOBIUO’S ALL GROWN UP! HE’S A BIG BOY!”

they tackle him in a hug, and hinata follows after, leaping in and cheering for kageyama. yamaguchi and ennoshita pull asahi in a bit quite harshly, and the ace accidentally tugs both daichi and sugawara along. tsukishima tries to sass about how the great king has his own queen now, but sugawara shushes him and yanks him onto the pile of screaming volleyball boys.

amongst all the screaming, the laughter, the teasing, and the shouts of pain because BOKE HINATA BOKE YOUR FOOT IS IN MY FACE-

“hello?”

they all turn to you, standing at the gym gates with an eco-bag full of milk cartons.

god damn, you look like an angel to kageyama. (and it’s not just because you’re holding a load of his favorite drink.)

“kageyama-kun, is that her?”

kageyama smiles. it comes to him genuinely. it’s like once he sees you, the weight on his chest is gone. (quite literally, because the team takes this as their cue to scramble their way off kageyama).

“yeah. that’s my girl.”

“hi bubs!” you grin and hold out the eco-bag. “i got you some refreshments.”

“hi babe,” he sits up and takes the bag from your hands, and presses a kiss to your knuckles. “you didn’t have to get me these.”

“it was on sale, anyways,” you turn red at his public display of affection.

hinata makes his way to you, stars in his eyes as he shakes your hand. “hello! i’m hinata-kun, nice to meet you, kageyama’s girlfriend!”

you smile back and eagerly shake his hand. “i’m y/n, nice to meet you all!”

nishinoya and tanaka are in tears. they kneel down in front of kageyama, who turns horribly red.

“KAGEYAMA-SENPAI!!” they wail. “WE DIDN’T THINK YOU’D GET A GIRLFRIEND BEFORE US! AND YOU TREAT EACH OTHER SO WELL! YOU HAVE OUR RESPECT KAGEYAMA-SENPAI”

“s-senpai?!” kageyama’s eyes widen. “get-get off the damn floor! the both of you being single has nothing to tdo with me! the two of you are just idiots!”

he turns to you, his cheeks burning. “t-that’s noya-san and t-tanaka-san, they’re just jealous... that i.... have such a lovely and supporting girlfriend.”

your heart melts at his words.

meanwhile, sugawara-san hoots and claps for his first-year setter. “kageyama-kun, nice!”

kageyama turns impossibly redder. “i’m s-sorry about them, babe.”

you laugh shyly, and brush a hand through his hair to calm him down. “bubs, they’re just happy for you. i’m happy for you too, you’ve always done your best to make me smile.”

hinata pipes up before kageyama can react. “he really has been trying, y/n-chan! he wanted to impress you with his tosses earlier! he wouldn’t stop being so nervous abou-”

a volleyball collides with his face. needless to say this story ends nearly quite the way it began, only with our precious blueberry boy smiling just a little bit brighter.

tsukishima

okay, this dude has a big bro. he was taught how to treat a lady.

you cannot change my mind that he’s a gentleman

he loves you w all of himself

has this inner conflict of whether to keep his cocky self around his team when he’s with you

or just be a simp and snarl at anyone who teases him for it

“tell us about her!”

“well, she’s pretty cool. and smart. she’s beautiful and-“

“yamaguchi, urusai.”

“ah!- gomen, tsukki. yachi-san’s just so pretty i can’t help complimenting her.”

“oi, tsukishima!” hinata chomps into a meat bun. “don’t tease yamaguchi for simping for his girlfriend! at least he has one.”

tsukishima’s eyebrows narrow. “what are you insinuating, shrimp?”

sugawara points at him with his chopsticks. “when are you getting a girlfriend?”

before tsukishima can answer, yamaguchi pipes up.

“tsukishima already has one! she’s super sweet... and funny, and... oh no.”

tsukishima chokes on his food and turns to yamaguchi. yamaguchi’s eyes widen and he whispers a sorry before the first-years and second-years let out a collective scream of suprise.

guess it’s too late to tell him to shut up.

“TSUKISHIMA-KUN YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?” hinata screams. Kageyama spits out his water.

“tsukishima, why didn’t you tell us?” nishinoya karate-chops him on the head. “what is she like? tell us! tell us! T E L L U S”

“i don’t have to tell any of you airheads anything,” he grumbles, trying to will himself not to blush.

“if you won’t tell us, we’ll just ask yamaguchi! yama-yama! is tsukishima a simp?”

yamaguchi turns red and stutters. “i-i-i can’t tell you anything! ju-ju-just ask her, she’s coming over today- oh no! oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!” he buries his face in his hands.“i spoiled the suprise! y/n-san’s gonna be saaaaaaad!”

tsukishima rolls his eyes. “yamaguchi, urusai. i can always just pretend i’m surprised.”

everyone falls silent.

yamaguchi feels tears of joy. “tsukishima... you would do that for y/n-san?”

tsukishima furrows his eyebrows. “yeah. i wouldn’t wanna get shortcake’s effort to go to waste-”

there’s a knock on the gym doors. yamaguchi aggressively shushes everyone, then pushes his best friend a little too harshly to open the door.

“who is it- shortcake?”

he tries his best to pretend he’s shocked, but he’s met face-to-face with a dinosaur plushie just as tall as he is.

“surprise!” you smile, placing the stuffed animal down and hold your arms out.

tsukishima really is surprised. his features soften as the corner of his lips quirk up.

“shortcake,” he pulls you in for a hug. “what’s all this?”

“congrats on your win! you were fire!” you grin.

“you don’t have to say that. it’s fine. but thank you for the gifts.”

“Y/N-SAAAAAN!”

“yama-yama!” you run to your friend and bear hug him. “i saw you too! you were badass!”

“b-badass??” he blushes. “pshaw, no, i just stayed on the court for a while-”

“don’t say that! the both of you were great!”

“shortcake, huh?” hinata glares at tsukishima. “you just call everyone who isn’t taller than you a shorty, huh?”

tsukishima smirks, and snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you close and pecking you on the lips. “what’s wrong with enjoying the little things in life?”

#tsukishima fluff #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima headcanons #haikyuu! headcanons #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyuu fluff #kageyama fluff #kageyama headcanons #kageyama x reader

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beacon-lamp · 4 years ago

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ok bee anon here once again caus im loving everyones additions so i have a new one for u: if all that angsty dsmp lore did all canonically happen even if this is a crossover i imagine team zit bein rlly protective over like tiny things that could set ranboo off, like imagine grian just starts harmlessly playing mellohi in his secret base and impulse jus Appears behind him menacingly like "we dont do that around here" running out of words but u get the idea, would love to hear other ideas

ok bee anon here again i am lovin this u jus have the perfect way of describing what i imagine the situation going like but u writing just the part where tango realizes i just imagine it as the "*freeze frame, record scratch, he has his head through impulse's window at 2 am* yep thats me. ur probably wondering how i got here. well lets just say it all started when a new kid joined hermitcraft." i will update u if i think of any more ideas but i jus love how u write it about this its so great <3

bee anon!!!

hahaha dude whenever i think of stories, i think Exclusively in like a sitcom editing format. hard cut. flash sideways. ripple. fade to black and roll credits.

i love ZIT as 3 uncles platonically adopting ranboo as their Kid Cousin. ranboo doesn’t talk much about his time on the dreamSMP and ZIT doesn’t prod, but they make sure he has anything he needs. of course, ranboo feels a bit bad at first but after tango and impulse’s please just take the shulker box of iron we literally have more iron than we know what to do with please my storage system is overflowing you’re actually doing Us a Favor, he gives in. they keep a running list of things to not bring up and make sure to check in on him every now and then if they don’t hear from him for more than a week.

i also just like the idea that they just try to get him to laugh with their chaos. there’s not much they can do about his past, but they will try their hardest to make sure he has a good time now. zedaph starts learning how to speak ender language. he’s horrible at it. but ranboo’s heard his attempts enough to know how to interpret what zedaph’s trying to say. honestly, he’s mostly talking shit. they get used to him vrooping in and out and the randomly placed grass blocks around their bases and farms makes them smile.

ranboo doesn’t understand even Half the things any of them are doing at any given point but they’re Kind to him and they don’t treat him like he’s made of glass. he appreciates how he can just show up unannounced next to any three of them and he’ll be greeted with a “oh ranboo! perfect! you’re just in time for to see my next experiment! how do you feel about honey blocks?” or “oh hey ranboo how’s it going? you mind handing me a comparator from the chest over there no that’s a redstone torch no that’s a dispenser no that’s-” or “heyy i’m just about to head to the shopping district to restock my shop, wanna come with? i can give you a tour so you know where to find stuff”

look all i’m saying is: ranboo deserves fluff and 3 chaotic uncles who try their best to mentor him.

#bee anon #honestly i had no idea how good of a pairing ZIT and ranboo would be until you brought it up with your original ask #i really hope someone takes it and runs with it #i can't see ZIT being dads or anything too serious so chaotic uncles and kid cousin it is #plus i think we've had enough father dynamics in mcyt hahaha #ty for the asks as always :))))#sorry i didn't reply immediately i got busy #Anonymous

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apenapaperandadoofus · 4 years ago

Note

SKKSKSKS your new post gave me an idea! hear me out, ok so MC is a STRUGGLING college student. Anyway, the rfa (plus jihyun&saeran) finds out MC is opting to get a sugar daddy 😳 (MC's fellow broke friends says try it out lol!) And so, MC is meeting SD for lunch. Turns out it's a weird disaster. Which of them will be spying & ready to fite, or drag MC away before she even gets her ass to the seat? i feel like jumin will go 👁👄👁 with this whole thing. just curious how they'll react oop-

I love it and I love you lmao this is the best thing everrr, I had so much fun writing it ASKFBDJ

I’m going to save Jumin for last because I just loved writing his head cannon lmao

RFA + V and Saeran reacting to an MC that gets a sugar daddy/mommy:

Zen:

So Zen found out about your little sugar daddy plan

He was LIVID

He will cancel every single thing he has today

And he will go and spy on you

Zen will literally have everything he needs, he’ll have a disguise and he’ll be hiding in the bushes watching your date

If he sees your SD trying to touch you he will tackle him

And then he’ll grab your hand and lead you away, no matter how much you complain

When he brings you home he will sit you down and oh boy, get ready for the biggest lecture of your life

You see him BECOME your mother

He will talk with you for about an hour

“Y/N seriously! Why didn’t you tell any of us, we could have helped you, YOU LITERALLY ARE FRIENDS WITH TWO RICH ASSHOLE WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR?!”

But then Zen will calm down and sit next to you, his face a bit red

“I just...I’d like you to depend more on us...on me. I will do anything for you so please, promise me you won’t go dating old guys for money again?”

And how could you say no to those puppy eyes?

Zen will work hard so you don’t struggle so much alone

Yoosung:

He will be an angry boio

He’s like a mad chihuahua

When he figures out your plan he will drag Seven down with him to spy on you

Of course Seven will make fun of him, and he won’t help with shit lmao

But Yoosung will take it seriously

He will be watching you from the shadows, and you know what? He will try to even screw up your date

The next time you see him he will be all pouty and won’t talk to you for a while

He won’t even look at you

So Seven gives up and tells you that Yoosung found out about your sugar daddy adventure

You will come up to Yoosung and talk it out with him

“Sorry Y/N...it’s just...I got...mad! I could’ve helped you, you know? You don’t have to date gross guys like him to get money. The RFA is here for you! Also...I may have also gotten...a bit jealous. Just. Don’t do it again. Please...I’ll help you!”

Aw he’s so adorable so you agree

Now Yoosung won’t have to go and murder that guy

I mean, what, Yoosung and murder? WhaaaaAAAAA- he had everything planned who am I kidding pft

Jaehee:

Honestly, when hears you got a sugar mommy she’s a bit jealous and worried

But who is she to tell you what to do?

I mean don’t get her wrong, she wants to slap that woman for looking at you like that and for abusing your need for money

So she will slowly help you without you noticing

She will bake something so you can go an sell it at school

Or she’ll lend you some money

If she sees you struggling she will do everything she can so you don’t need to get a sugar mommy again!

One night, when you are finally able to have enough money for some other things, you invite her out to dinner to thank her for everything she helped you with

“Y/N...I have to tell you something. When you were, well struggling, I found out you saw a woman...older than you so she could give you money. And I- well...I’m not someone who should tell you who to date or not, but it just made me feel very strange inside. I wanted to be the one holding your hand, to help you go through that rough patch...”

You smile warmly at Jaehee and caress her cheek.

“Thank you Jaehee. Really, you helped me through so much. And now I want to repay you for it! So I bough you front row seats to one of Zen’s latest musicals!”

Jaehee squealed and gave you a hug

Then you spent such a great time during Zen’s performance

Saeyoung:

Ok he may have maybe read one of your text messages

And then maybe a few more

He didn’t mean to you know?!

But he found out you were struggling at college because it had become super expensive

The first thing he did was help you by paying some things secretly

But then he found out when you were meeting with your SD

And guess what? He freaking set up a double date

You were confused when your SD had brought a friend of his to he cafe, but it all clicked when you saw a very beautiful woman with long red hair and very familiar mischievous yellow eyes come in the restaurant.

You quickly stood up and grabbed the woman who had come in saying a quick sorry to the other men and then dragged her to the bathroom

Honestly Seven thought you would yell at him, but then you started laughing maniacally

“Se-SEVEN!! What in the-HOW?! This is the best thing ever-pftt HAHAHAH I CAN’T SEVEN WHAT THE HELL”

He of coursed, laughed along with you but then he cleared his throat and spoke in a high pitched voice

“My name is Samantha, thank you very much! You’re not the only one who can get a sugar daddy you know?” He winked and grabbed your hand, leading you to the table. “Now lets go get us some money! I can’t wait together a new baby! I just found one online and fell in love with it so I have to get it as soon as possible!”

The both of you spent the evening flirting and acting all cutesy the whole time

Although Seven would intervene if he saw your sugar daddy getting way too comfortable with you, or if he saw him trying to touch you somewhere else,

He will fight your SD tried anything on you

Apart from that you two end up buying tons of shit you don’t need lmao

One day he saw you hanging out with a really old dude

He didn’t think anything of it, maybe he was your dad or something

But then he saw he was getting kind of flirty with you

Then he remembered that one night you had complained about how expensive your college tuition had become and how you were going to get a sugar daddy

Well Jihyun thought you were joking Y/N, HoNeY pLeAsE

He watched from the sidelines for a bit but then he felt sort of...jealous

So when the date was over and you waited outside for your taxi with your SD, V got on his car and called out for you

You will blush and get on the car with him, your SD was actually pretty confused since V had a very expensive car

While he’s driving V will give you a huge lecture

“Y/N, I know you are having problems but you can’t go and start dating a guy just because of money. I mean, who knows what he could’ve done to you, he could’ve abused your situation and everything. If you need help please tell me, and we’ll figure something out, but don’t go out with guys like that. They’re bad news.”

You’re heart warmed at the thought of V caring so much for you

He made you promise to be more truthful when you were having problems, and you had to reassure him that he shouldn’t worry, but V insisted

If he can he will get you to model for his pictures and pay you a very large amount of money, which you WILL have to take of Jihyun could become angry for the first time in ages

Saeran:

Oh no

Oh boy

He heard from your friend that you had found a sugar daddy

She wasn’t joking you actually found a goddamn sugar daddy

Saeran will be kinda shocked and sad

So he will hack into your phone (he’ll apologize later) and find out where you’re meeting the guy

As soon as he saw your SD getting kind of handsy, and you being a bit uncomfortable, he will run over and punch him I’m not kidding

He will be ready to fightttt

You’ll have to pull him away and apologize, dragging Saeran to your car and quickly driving out of here

“Saeran! What was that? Why did you punch him?!”

He just stayed quiet the whole time, and when you finally drove him to his home, he turned around and cupped your face in his hands, squishing

“You were clearly uncomfortable. Why didn’t you tell me about the college problems? You know I could’ve been more than happy to help you. That guy...he didn’t give off a good vibe. And he was starting to grab you and you looked like you didn’t want to be there and I just- I got mad. Because I don’t want to see you with another guy, and I don’t want to see you getting used for some money.”

Saeran was blushing, but he wouldn’t take back what he just said.

You were red too, and before you could reply Saeran quickly kissed your forehead and ran into his home

Of course later the RFA found out about your SD plan and they all nagged you lmao

Jumin:

He was eating at this very expensive restaurant, he just had a super important meeting and it had just finished

As he was about to leave he saw a very familiar face come in with this guy. A really old guy, who was smiling in a very creepy way.

Like you said, my dear anon, Jumin is just : 👁👄👁

You had sat in the table beside him, so he will try to hide by covering his face with the menu

Jumin was actually really confused as to why he was doing it, since if were any other person he would’ve awkwardly said hi and left as quickly as possible

But he wanted to stay...to see what you were doing, why you were going out with a guy that could be your dad

“Thank you for the meal Mr. Lee” He heard your sweet voice say.

The man, Mr. Lee laughed, -a really horrible laugh by the way- Jumin thought

. “Y/N, sweetheart, you know you can just call me Ju-won, I won’t mind.” The man’s almost hoarse voice said.

Ju-won Lee...Jumin thought the name was very familiar, but he was too busy looking at you two that he didn’t think much of it.

“Hehe, well alright!” You giggled and looked at the menu

“Y/N. How are those earrings I got you? Did you like them? They were the most expensive ones I could find, and I got them only for you.”

You slowly looked up and gave Mr. Lee a forced smile. “They were great Ju-won, thank you again!”

He got you..earrings?

Jumin figured out what was going on, and he felt as if the wind had been knocked out of his lungs

Later, when the both of you ordered some food, you asked Mr. Lee how his day was

Jumin was still in the same spot, overhearing everything you said

He didn’t know why he was feeling so conflicted, so mad. He hated seeing you with that man, he even felt a bit disappointed.

“Ah, well work was the same old, same old. The boss suddenly decided that he wanted to do yet another cat project. I honestly don’t know how he has that job, you know if it were me, I would make sure the company actually worked better. He does an awful job.”

“Ah. Umm, Ju-won, where is it that you work again?” You asked

“It’s a big company, I’m sure you’ve heard of it. It’s called C&R International, but honestly work is such a pain. If it weren’t for Chariman Han I would’ve gotten the executive director spot, but just because Jumin Han -I don’t know if you’ve heard of him, but the Chariman is his father- and just because of that he got the job! I’m sure they didn’t even have to interview him, that brat. And he thinks he’s so great just because of his father, psh I’d like to give him a piece of my mind.”

Jumin for the first time every, felt really mad. He was finally about to say something but then he heard you slam the menu down.

“Mr. Lee, I’m sorry if I sound kind of rude, but Ju- I mean, Mr. Han actually does an amazing job. C&R has grown so much because of him, and I’m sure that he’s one of the people that works the hardest. He probably got the job because he earned it, not just because of family connections, so please don’t spread false rumors.”

When he heard you say that...

Jumin couldn’t help but blush

Before Mr. Lee could even utter another word he stood up and walked over to your table.

Mr. Lee instantly stood up, his face filled with panic, and you looked up at him with a blush in your face

“Mr. Lee, how are you doing this evening? If you’d excuse me for a moment I have to talk with your date for a bit. I don’t think I’ll bring her back, but don’t worry I’ll pay for the food, that way you will save that bit of money. You will probably need it, since I don’t think you’ll be able to afford these sort of activities any time soon. If you think working at C&R is such a pain, then I suggest you leave the company. I want your things gone by Monday. Have a good night.”

Me. Lee’s mouth was wide open, and he looked ready to get on his knees and beg, but before anything came out of his mouth Jumin grabbed your hand and dragged you to the roof of the restaurant, where no one was around.

“Jumin what-” before you could say anything Jumin pinned you against the wall and kissed you

The kiss was rough, and when he pulled away you were left a panting mess.

“Y/N, why were you eating with him. Please explain to me why he bought you a pair of earrings, and why he was flirting with you the whole time. I don’t want you to lie to me.”

Oh shit he was mad

You looked up at Jumin, your face red and your lips swollen, but then when you saw his cold expression you looked down

“I’m sorry Jumin...it’s just....recently my college tuition went up. And I, I couldn’t pay it. I got as many jobs as I could, but it still wasn’t enough. And then Abby, the girl I met at one of my classes told me that she knew how I could get quick money, and she gave me the number of this guy, who was willing to pay a lot for a woman that went out with him, and I was just so desperate! I, I didn’t want to bother anyone and I didn’t know what to do and I just- I panicked Jumin!”

You bit your lip as tears slowly fell from your eyes, and Jumin’s cold expression slowly faded as he grabbed your chin so you would be looking up at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve helped you.” He whispered

“I-I didn’t want to. I-I know how you feel about people, especially women asking for money. I know you could’ve helped, but I didn’t want you to think I was friends with you just for that! I mean I like you Jumin, I really, really do, and if you suddenly felt, I don’t know, betrayed or hurt and if you ended up never speakingto me again I don’t know what I would’ve done, I didn’t want that to happen. I’m..I’m sorry. I know how you feel about this type of stuff, and I understand if you don’t want to be around me anymore...” you sniffed.

Both of you stood in complete silence, until Jumin slowly moved a strand of hair away from your face and smiled.

“Y/N. I would never, ever get mad at you because you asked me for help. I’m sorry for snapping at you. Honestly, I hated seeing you with that man. I don’t know how to describe it, but when I saw him there with you, I felt sort of mad, which was surprising since Indint do that often. And I realized hay I got angry because I don’t want you going on dates with other men because I want you to only go out with me. And I didn’t know why I felt that way. But when you defended me, it all started to make sense. The reason why I felt that way it’s because... I love you, Y/N”

Jumin kissed you, and after you both calmed down he got Driver Kim to give you a ride home.

If Mr. Lee had bought you anything Jumin made sure to buy them from you twice the amount, and then he may have gone and thrown away, or something, but you never saw them again.

Even though you insisted that it was alright, Jumin still helped you with your college fees, he was more than happy to!

And then a few days later, when you were both eating at his home, he asked you out.

Of course you said yes! And everyone in the RFA was honestly pretty jealous of your relationship lmao

Also when they found out you got a sugar daddy they teased you AND nagged you (multitasking lmao)

#mystic messenger #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #jumin han #choi bois #yoosung kim #jihyun mysme #mysme zen #jaehee kang #mysme

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mellowrat21 · 4 years ago

Text

Rough Changes.

AU where the bullying Sal recieves from Travis, his school crush, gets so hard to him, it almost kills him, so he decides to close some cycles and get the hell out of the situation. Cw: mention of self harm, bullying, graphic violence, strong vocabulary, polyamorous relationships, mild (really really mild) implied sex scene(?, heavily loaded with angst. Fandom: Sally Face Words: 4800 Hope you enjoy it!

The first time Sally went out around Nockfell he used to wear a beanie to hide his bright, long, electric blue hair and wore discrete clothes, but as the time went by and he started hanging out with Larry, Ash and Todd, his confidence slowly started going higher and higher until he started going to school with his signature hairstyle, some hairpins and his favorite clothes, he was a cis guy, and he was bisexual, but who cared, everyone who saw him thought he was a girl and probably a lesbian since he hung out with Ashley so much. And he didn’t give a flying fuck about it, he wouldn’t make an effort to change his voice to make it sound “more feminine” or go to the women’s restroom because he didn’t feel the need to, he was a guy, period. Some people didn’t seem to agree and thought he was a trans guy or something, which was terribly stupid and Sal and his friends would always mock the people that harassed him on the streets “you will never be a real woman, you tranny!” or “no matter how many chemicals are in your body, you will always be a girl!”, people never knew if he was a girl or a boy, and that amused him a lot. But then, when they got to the middle of 8th grade, a new kid was introduced to his class, he was a tall, brown boy with shiny blonde hair, he had what appeared to be a bruise on his left eye but Sal thought it was rude to stare, so he lowered his head, wondering if it was a bruise or a birthmark. The kid got to sit beside him, they didn’t talk at all, if not just the common “hi” from when a new kid gets introduced to the class and you’re the one sitting next to them. Dear diary: Today in class there was a new kid, he is cute, I wanna be his friend and maybe share drawings or stickers or even Pokémon cards, what if he collects them too? I could find the ones I don’t have and he could benefit from mine too. He’s my age, his name is Travis. I think he’s religious, so not cool, religion is boring, I always sleep in religion class. I’m gonna ask him if he wants to sit with me at lunch, he might be lonely since he’s a new boy at school, I wanna be his first friend, I could even introduce him to the group!

Alright, gotta sleep, Sal out.

The alarm clock was buzzing, letting Sal know it was time to get out of bed and ready for a heavy Tuesday of school, he hated Tuesdays, no band club, no art classes, nothing, just geometry, math and a lot of history, Spanish and English, oh, and religion too. He got up and went to take a quick shower, it was cold and he didn’t really like turning the heater on, it was too noisy for being 6:40 in the morning the time he showered for school. When he got out of the shower, he put on his underwear and with a towel around his hair he sat on the sink to take care of his reddish scars, that day they were way more tender than usual, it stung and even hurt in some places the q-tip touched with the lotion. He sighed, getting back down from the sink and finding a meowing Gizmo on his bed, who stretched as soon as he saw his owner, asking him to pet him and rub his belly. “Aw hi little guy! Did you get some good sleep?” Sally asked in a tiny voice, thoroughly shaking Gizmo’s big belly, he earned a purry meow from him, who got up and walked out of the room to get food. Sal let out a breathy giggle and started going through his closet, thinking what he should wear; he found a white skirt he thought was really cute, tried it on but found out it was way too short and it showed the scars on his thighs, he didn’t want any more visits to the school counselor for self-harm even though his scars were a combination of cuts made by him and scratches made by Gizmo. He decided to stop thinking so much and just grabbed a pair or ripped black skinny jeans with patches and chains Larry had gifted him for his 15th birthday and a pastel blue gloomy bear t-shirt to go with it, by the time he tied his usual blue converse he thought of grabbing a hoodie, so he grabbed a red zip-up hoodie and threw it on before he went to get some breakfast, some peach slices and Greek yogurt did the job and after a little bit of him styling his hair with his dryer and iron, he went to brush his teeth, he grabbed his bag after putting his prosthetic on and headed out. On the way he found Larry, with whom he went to the bus stop while chatting a little bit. “hey Lar, did you see the new kid?” Sal asked, eager to hear the answer, he was so interested in him, he was excited to know him. “uh yeah, that Travis boy? He’s chill, why? Larry said, munching on a chocolate chip cookie that might be his breakfast, he had his hair tied back in a messy bun which showed he didn’t shower, and those bruise-like bags under his eyes made clear he didn’t sleep either. “huh? What do you mean chill, did you talk to him?” Sal’s eyelids perked up, surprised by his friend talking about his interesting future new friend. “oh hell no, he’s religious, I would never get near a religious guy, they’re scary with all their crazy ‘god loves you’ shit” Larry shivered jokingly, earning an annoyed sigh from Sal, who playfully punched his friend’s shoulder. “he can’t be that bad bro, he’s 14, he probably just uses the cross necklace because his dad makes him.” Sal tried to shrug it off, then the bus came and they got on. While looking for a seat, Sal spotted a blonde head, and when he got closer, low and behold, it was Travis. He was talking to another blue haired kid that attended their school, but they suddenly locked eye contact and Sal smiled to him, only to remember he couldn’t see it, so he shakingly waved until Larry softly pushed him to sit behind Travis and the other boy that was there. “come on dude, you’re gonna fall if you stay there!” Larry tugged on his hoodie, which made him sigh and sit next to his friend, his face red as a cherry and the blush spreading to his ears. That was so embarrassing… “woah woah dude are you okay? Do you have like a fever or something? Your face is hot as fuck and your so re- AH DUDE NOT COOL!!” Larry said worried, getting elbowed on the stomach by his flustered friend who was literally shaking on his seat. “i-I am- I’m okay it’s j-ju-just I-… fuuuuck” Sal stammered out, not being able to form a sentence from how hard he was shaking, then he hear a gasp from the

seat in front of him. “what? Are you- are you a boy?” a flustered, weirded out Travis was looking at him, he looked disgusted and scared. “uh m-me? I- I… yes, I’m a boy…” Sal stuttered again, scared, the first words they exchanged and they were not at all the ones he expected. “what the- ugh, boys don’t wear skirts, you shouldn’t wear that kind of attires, it’s ungodly.” The disgust in Travis’ face was growing with every word and Sal was literally at the verge of tears from how scared he was, even though he had picked a gender neutral looking outfit he got a bad comment, from the boy he wanted to be friends with. Sal tried to talk but the words were stuck in his mouth, when a sudden movement startled him to the point he yelped. “yo, clothes don’t have gender. Go fuck with someone else smartass.” Larry had jerked up from his sit, completely angered and with a threatening stand. Travis got scared himself and he just turned around mumbling something under his breath. Sal was silently crying, little sobs slipped from under the mask his day didn’t start well at all and he had heard what the boy in front of him had mumbled.

He called him a faggot.

His day went on horribly, boring classes, all of them where he sat next to the boy who he had a little crush on, it was all wrong, all he wanted to do was go home and curl up in a ball to cry, and cry and cry. Before lunch started, he got up rather quickly, Travis used the opportunity to trip him and he fell over, he scratched both his knees and it wanted to make him cry again, and it did, he just ran to the restrooms and locked himself in a stall, hugging his legs and silently crying again, what a shit day, he just wanted it to end already. The urge was suddenly unbearable, he needed to get himself off of that situation, he reached to his hoodie pockets and pulled out a little envelope that contained a stainless steel blade he hadn’t used in a while. He then pulled his sleeves up and angrily started making multiple deep cuts in every dimension, that made him sob and gasp, and when he was done, he was just a mess of blood and tears, he reached for the toilet paper and luckily for him, there was, so he quickly put it on the wounds and made some pressure until the blood was almost gone, he pulled the sleeves back down and sighed, he wasn’t relieved, but he wasn’t around Travis so he was good for a while. Then he remembered his next class was religion, fuck no, he was going to the principle to ask him to call his dad, he needed to go home, he couldn’t resist any more time with Travis let alone it being in religion class, fucking religion class, that was the last thing he wanted to happen to him. After he decided he was calling his dad to go home, he got off the toilet and opened up the stall door slowly as to not find any “unwanted guests”. Once he double-checked and triple-checked he was able to get out of there an run to the principal’s office, only to blink and open his eyes back up at a hospital room, surrounded by Larry, Ashley, Todd, Todd’s boyfriend (he didn’t remember his name) and his dad, all looking both worried and relieved. “oh my god, he’s awake!” Ashley almost yelled, rushing to hold his friends hand. “huh…? Wha- what am I doing here?” Sal asked, looking around, noticing his arms were uncovered, showing his fresh cuts and the catheter where the liquids where flowing. “uh, you passed out and Larry found you completely splattered on the ground, your hoodie was soaked in blood so he told us and we rushed you to the hospital. It seemed like you lost a lot of blood, Sally, what’s wrong?” Todd talked, looking concerned. “Salvatore, please tell me you’re not going to start cutting yourself again, I already signed a document to refuse your admission to the mental hospital, I know you don’t wanna go back there and I don’t want you to go either, that place only drugs you and prevents you from everything…” Henry spoke, worry and sadness gushing out of his mouth while he talked. Tears started falling down Sal’s eyes, he was mortified, and now he was in the fucking hospital, he was sure this was a nightmare, he needed to wake up, he needed to fucking- “SAL, WAKE UP!!” Larry said, worried and scared, it had been a day since Sal got out of the hospital and he stopped going to school for a while, Larry was taking care of him every day after school to make sure he was eating and cleaning himself, he was worried his best friend would kill himself if he spent too many time alone and he wasn’t risking losing another loved one. Never again. Sal jerked awake, all startled by his friend’s yelling. “what do you want Larry…” annoyed by his sudden awakening, Sal rolls over on the bed and starts falling back asleep. “I brought you some pancakes and chocolate milk… I know you like them…” Larry sighed out, he was sad to see his best friend like that, he hated it, he fucking hated whatever was going on with him to make him that depressed. Sal sat up and started eating bit by bit, the bandages on his arms were getting loose and a bit gooey, so after Sal finished eating, Larry carried him piggyback to the bathroom to clean him up.

That was only the beginning of the worst four years of his life, days of never ending bullying, depressive episodes, fights, detentions, panic attacks and breakdowns.

Last break of their last year of school was nearing in, that was the last day of school before break and they’d be back for a month and a half more of school and everything would be over. Sal was excited because he was going on a field trip with the squad, not knowing those plans were going to be completely crushed by goody two-shoes blonde fuck Travis, who had woke up that last day of school and chose complete violence. That day was living hell for Sal, he never stopped mocking him and calling him names, but Sal just pretended to ignore him, until… “Hey freak, you faceless faggot motherfucker, did your mommy do your hair for you? It looks shitty! Oh wait, no she didn’t. why, you ask? OH YEAH, BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD, SHE MUST BE CRINGING AND CRYING IN HER GRAVE BECAUSE SHE’S ASHAMED OF YOU, ABOMINATION, UNGODLY MONSTER” Travis was following him around, tugging at his hair and pushing his head around, until Sal snapped. He didn’t say anything, just a hit, square in the nose, a loud crack and a scream followed, Sal just kept hitting and hitting until Larry had to physically drag him away, he was frozen, scared, absolutely terrified of himself, of what he did. Luckily it was finally break time and he got to dip out of there, he locked himself at home and ravaged the tree on his backyard, then when he was tired of it, he decided to go back inside and look at himself in the mirror, he then found himself staring down to a pair of scissors on his nightstand. His breath became shaky and anxious, he didn’t want to do it, he made him do it, it was all his fault, all his fault, he fucking did it. “LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID, TRAVIS FUCKING PHELPS!” he cried out, yelling and shaking after he looked at himself back in the mirror, his pretty blue long locks were completely gone, leaving him with a mess of hair, he didn’t want it anymore, he didn’t want to look like a girl, he didn’t want to be bullied anymore, he didn’t deserve it. “I am a man, I was born a man, I will die a man, and if I am a man I will fucking behave like one. Did you fucking hear me, Phelps!? IM GONNA BE WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO SEE, A FUCKING GUY, NOT THE UNGODLY FAGGOT YOU ALWAYS SAW ON ME!! ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU GLAD?! FUCK YOU! YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS! ME! THE ONE WHO ALWAYS THOUGHT FONDLY OF YOU, THE ONE THAT THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST SCARED OF ME! The one who… the one… the one who fucking liked you…” Sally couldn’t speak anymore, he was shaking, sobbing and crying out loud on the bathroom floor, just to stare back up and find Larry and Ashley looking down at him, both crying, completely worried and scared of what they were looking at. Larry picked him up as he drifted away, passing out from all the crying. They let him sleep, he was sleeping soundly as the other two were slowly falling asleep by his sides. When he woke up he found them sleeping there, he woke them up too since he had an enormous headache and needed some assistance. “Lar… b-bring me some medicine please my head hurts like hell…” He went to grab onto his locks and all he found was a nest of tangled up short hair, he found himself scared but then remembered what happened before he went out and tears started gushing out of his eyes. “fuck, I really did it, I cut my fucking hair.” Sal unbelievably laughed, a melancholic laugh. Larry got up and Ash stayed there, hugging him softly. “don’t worry, blue, I’ll take you to a salon after you take your medicine and we’ll get that mess fixed, alright?” Ash held his hand, reassuringly squishing it softly. Sal nodded then looked up when he saw Larry pop out of the doorframe holding a pill and a glass of water which he gave him to drink. “So dude… after you get the haircut… do you wanna go get some food and maybe get high at the abandoned house down the hill? I know Ash is out of this because she has to babysit her brother but we can go if you want.” Larry asks rather shyly, trying not to give Sal any strong emotions. “I’ll take the food offer, but no weed for me today, this headache will get fucking worse if I even get near the stuff” Larry nodded, joining the hug

after Sal had swallowed the pill, closing his eyes at the pleasuring hug. After the pill kicked in and Sal was no longer in pain, the three young adults went to the hair salon to get Sal a haircut, then the other two sat back reading awfully boring magazines. Mid haircut, Sal asked the stylist to dye his hair black, he wanted to change himself completely, never look back at himself how he used to be. They finished washing his hair and he went to show his friends who looked completely dumbfounded by the new look, so dumbfounded Sal started to worry. “guys? What is it? Do-does it look bad? Do I change it or-“ he was cut off by a wave of NO’s from both of them, they were both in love with what they saw before them, they rushed to hug him and cradle him, Larry cried, because he loved him, he loved every single piece of his existence and now he looked so different, not happier, but completely different, he was proud of him, of his baby, not blue anymore.

The road trip never happened, but they stayed together at Sal’s house the whole break since Henry was away for a business trip that meant a lot of money coming to them afterwards. The three spent the break like a little family, they tried doing all sorts of things, like cooking, hiking, stargazing, burning all Sal’s “feminine” stuff as a symbolic sacrifice (even if Ashley wanted to keep the makeup and some stockings he had) and well, other kind of stuff between the three of them. The day they had go back to school went… not so badly. The squad had agreed not to talk to Sal a lot at school so people thought he was just absent or something, and it worked out until some person started to suspect. “hey, you, uh… Salvatore?” Travis approached the guy shyly, tapping his shoulder. “yeah?” Sal tried to lower his voice to confuse the oblivious blonde even more. “well I wanted to talk to you about something, in private, so… do you mind going with me to the school’s auditorium? I promise it’ll not take long.” Travis stepped a little further from him as to not scare him. “uh yeah sure, why not.” He nodded and followed behind, not too closely, while he texted his partners about it, he was shaking, scared and stressed about what might happen there. Porcelain doll: school auditorium, quick, heading there with Travis, apparently he wants to talk about something.

Ashey<3: oooo someone is getting confessed to!!!

Lar-Bear: be there in 3 minutes, dragging Ash with me if something happens.

Porcelain doll: nice, thanks babe.

Ashey<3: no worries boo ~

Lar-Bear: we love you, Torey.

Sal sighed in relief knowing his boyfriend and girlfriend were going to be around if something bad happened, so he ruffled his hair and jogged a bit, trying to keep up the pace. When they got there, Travis pushed the big doors to the entrance, the dim lighted room was scary enough with the theatre people in it, let alone it being completely empty, except for Ash and Larry who were hiding in the console room.

Travis cleared his throat, he was… nervous? Maybe Sal was imagining it, there’s no way that motherfucker was nervous.

“so… what did you wanna talk about?” Sal spit out rather venomously, stressed and annoyed by Travis’ presence.

“I promise it wouldn’t take long so it won’t. Salvatore Fisher, Sally Face, I wanted to tell you I’m absolutely sorry for what I did to you, all those years of suffering because of my fear of… of… uh… of…” Travis was struggling to take it out, he was disgusted by his own words though he knew he had to say it somehow. “of liking another man, of liking you, Sal… I was taking it all out on you and you didn’t deserve it, I’m working on myself, on becoming a better person for you, because I know how much damage I caused you on the outside, but on the inside, I know I left you a wound that is rotting and I will never know how deep it is.”

“Bro. You waited four years. Four fucking whole years to apologize for something you did to me every day nonstop, the words, the names, the hits, the hair pulling, all of that, and now you’re just telling me that you’re sorry? What do you expect? That I fall on your arms, begging you to hold me and forgiving you right away? Fuck no. Totally not. I will never forget what you did to me, and you know what? Fuck you. You’re the fucking faggot, you’re the one that deserves to get your shit rocked every single day of the rest of your fucking existence. You’re the sissy, little blondie piss baby, what’re you gonna do, huh? Cry out to daddy for him to save you? Only sissies cry, Travis, man the fuck up and piss your pants anywhere else but near me.” Sal gushed every word that came out of his mouth so naturally it was like he had rehearsed that speech a thousand times. He pushed him, making him trip over his feet and fall to the ground before he left, fuming, at the verge of tears, and before he closed the doors of the auditorium he yelled “FUCK YOU TRAVIS PHELPS, EVEN IF I STILL LOVED YOU, I WOULD NEVER TOUCH YOUR FILTHY FLESH IN MY MISERABLE LIFE, Y’KNOW!?” and with that said, he slammed the door behind him, actually hearing rushed footsteps from the other side. Todd and Larry were waiting for him outside but Sal ignored them, he was too busy wiping the tears off of his face as his legs gave in and let him sit on the floor, resting his back against a stack of lockers nearby. Travis barged out of the auditorium, tears desperately streaming down his face, yelling out for Sal. “SAL PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I LOVE YOU WITH MY LIFE AND IM SORRY I HURT YOU SO MUCH PLEASE JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE I PROMISE I’LL BE BETTER!!” Travis was full on begging, he needed him so bad but Todd and Larry stopped him, Larry had hit him square in the face while on the floor Todd kicked him on the side, completely angered to see how poor Sally was crying too, with Ashley by his side hugging him and comforting him, they would never let Travis get near Sal, ever again. Since the principal actually knew Sal and Travis situation, he didn’t end up expelling anyone and didn’t give them detention, Travis, Todd and Larry were given a warning and Ash was congratulated because of how good of a job she did comforting Sally while he was having his panic attack. Finally they got to go home and do their homework and onto the next day.

Finally, the school year, graduation and prom had been completely over, and Ash, Sal and Larry were moving out of Nockfell to live together in the city since Larry had gotten a job and Sal was planning to start university with Ash, they were both planning on enrolling in art school even though Sal wasn’t too excited about it since he wasn’t as good at art as Larry and Ashley were, but they both always reminded him that he doesn’t need to be good, he needs to be passionate. That way he would finally get better.

The news of the moving got to Travis, so, as a goodbye present, he left a letter and some candy for Sal in his letterbox, promising him and himself that they would never cross each other ever again. Sal thought it was a cute gesture, maybe in another life they would’ve been together, but in this one, they just peacefully drifted away after all the suffering they felt throughout the years. He went in to smoke some weed, he took the letter with him and read it out loud, he cried a little while, and after that he just burned the letter and went back into the empty house. Ash greeted him with a soft kiss on the lips and smiled. “The moving crew called, they’ll be here in ten minutes. Lar is upstairs saying his last goodbyes to the house.” Ash kissed his forehead and let him go with a playful spank on his butt, making both of them giggle. When Sal went up he found Larry crying, he softly approached him and sat beside him, hugging him tightly.

“hi doll, sorry you get to see me like this, I got nostalgic and I was thinking of how glad my mom would be to know that I found a job, that I have a beautiful loving relationship and that I’m moving out with them, with the beautiful people I love.” Larry sobbed onto Sally’s chest and he howled as soon as the words left Larry’s mouth.

“I’m sure little old Lisa is really fucking proud of you, of me and of Ashey, like, we’re both successful young adults and we’re taking off, we’re living our lives just like Lisa, my dad and Ashley’s wanted, so never doubt it, they’re all pretty proud of you, bear.” Sally reassured him with a big smile, Larry kissed him softly then pulled out with a huge smile.

“good god Torey, I love you so fucking much.” They ended up cuddling on the beanbag they didn’t pack, it was big enough to fit three people there, so they were comfortable, kissing and cuddling there. They started getting heated up and kissing more aggressively. Rough kissing and hickeys, until Ashley interrupted them.

“I knew I was hearing my little porcelain doll moaning, why am I not invited again?” They all laughed and pulled her onto the beanbag, but then again there was another interruption, the doorbell rang, the moving crew was there, they started loading the stuff to the moving truck and the other stuff inside Larry’s truck, then took off, they were leaving, finally leaving that damn town, the memories, the suffering, off to a new life, a better life where they had love to give and receive, wealth and success, so they weren’t sad. Obviously they were nostalgic, but never sad.

They finally got to the new house, it was big and pretty, the furniture looked perfect and the bedroom was cozy and welcoming. They were so tired that day, they just slept through the whole night and the next half of the day.

There their life started, their new life, where the worries were different and the old problems were nowhere to be seen, and they were happy, they were completely free. Free, loved and happy, just how they deserved.

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elvencantation · 4 years ago

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mpub ep12 liveblog

-WAIT WHERE IS KANG BAE??

-sad they’re not showing the last scene again like they usually do. but i guess they gotta fit a lot into this last episode. imma go rewatch it again real quick then come back 😂

-alright i’m back. i rly hope this is like kang bae inside his own head while the tree fucks shit up or something. cause i rly wanna see him fuck shit up!!!

-oh no honey please don’t cry!!! i cant stand it when you cry 😭

-YES ITS INTERDIMENSIONAL DAD POV I NEED HIM TO WALK IN ON BB BOY SAVING HIS MOM

-OMG BACK TO MY BADASS BOY OMGOGMOMGOMG

-made a video of my reaction to this next bit. gonna go rewatch real quick while it posts

-SECOND TIME WEOL JU GETS TO DOTE OVER HIM AS HE’S SICK IN BED. I SHOULDNT ENJOY THIS AS MUCH AS I DO

-OMG SHES REALIZED WHO HE IS HASNT SHE AAAAAAA

-OK NOW TELL DAD ALREADY PLS

-what in the world is going on is a good question

-*flashes back to lwj not telling wwx who sizhui is until the last episode*

-homeboy not only just found out he was actually a dad, then also found out the kid that they’d both been doting on and looking after is his actual kid (tho honestly, the found family trope wouldve worked just as well here)

-FUCK ME UPPP

-NO DONT CRY INTERDIMENSIONAL DAD ITS ALMOST WORSE THAN WHEN KANG BAE CRIES

-OH SHIT HE HAVING TREE FLASHBACKS OMGOMGOMG

-OH NO THEYRE TALKING TO HIM EVEN THO HES NOT TOUCHING THEM

-GO DIE IN A HOLE DICKWAD NOBODY WANTS U AROUND. STOP LURKING IN THAT ABANDONED BUILDING

-well i guess i do feel bad for his dad a little. and settling that grudge would really tie this whole thing up in a pretty bow. i mean, obviously its not gonna be that easy

-wait is kang bae asleep or did he somehow go find the tree? or wait is the tree even there anymore im not 100% sure what happened to the physical tree after what weol ju did

-oh ok hes asleep ofc that makes more sense

-NOPE THIS CANT BE GOODBYE IT CANNOT HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS TO THEM OR ANYTHING HE SAID HE WANTED TO MEET HIS MOM JUST ONCE

-wait is this what his life would’ve been like if they’d been reborn and been his proper parents???

-his room is so cute

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-made another little video here

-FUCK!!!!!

-srsly dude ur still lurking dramatically in that abandoned warehouse?

-I KNEW AS SOON AS HE WENT FOR THE FRIDGE THAT SHE’D HAVE LEFT HIM FOOD IN THERE I CANNOT

-oooooo pretty knife!! can she stab him (non lethally) with the pretty knife please? also i know interdimensional dad is walking into a trap or whatever but i need him to be ok. esp since that trap doesnt directly involve wonhyung but only his weird minion

-he says he wants her to feel like she’s lost everything. dude what do u think happened to her in her last life? you literally ruined her whole life but i guess that wasn’t enough because u actually had to face the consequences of ur actions

-yeah yeah we knew that wasn’t actually weol ju. but then wheres the real weol ju... is yeorin gonna find her???

-get the dad to get the kid? i’m confused why didn’t he just shift into weol ju without that? or did she have to be unconscious for that? or wait he probably thought distracting dad would give him enough time eh whatever let’s watch

-TIME FOR THE BADASS GLAIVE FUCK THEM UP DAD

-video time again!

-WAIT KANG BAE WAS HAVING A PROPHETIC DREAM IN THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE WASNT HE

- FUCK ME UPPPPPPP

-oh my GOD I LOVE HOW YOU CAN SEE HOT AIR COMING OFF THE BLADE OF THE GLAIVE?!?!

-ahhhh the glaive looks so awesome all glowing!!!

-EVEN MORE BADASS FIGHT YES OMG

-oh we using the force now!

-HE LITERALLY GRABBED THE PIPE THAT WAS FLYING TOWARDS HIM LIKE CATCHING AN ARROW MID FLIGHT AND THREW IT BACK I CANNOT

-yeah u deserve to get stabbed idiot

-AND VIDEO TIME AGAIN BECAUSE I DONT LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING

-WHAT ELSE DO U CALL SACRIFICING URSELF FOR SOMEONE? YOU LITERALLY PROTECTED HER FROM BEING IMPALED

-also if i was watching this at night, instead of 2pm with the sunlight streaming in through the window, i would be bawling like a baby

-WHY U JUST GOTTA KEEP MAKING MOM AND DAD CRY

-AND THEN HE DISAPPEARS LIKE BEN WHY U TRYING TO HURT ME LIKE THIS

-ok so mom is so badass with her snap of freezing time or whatever. ahhh i love it

-DONT LIKE THIS HE MOVED A FINGER!!!

-I DONT LIKE THIS WEI WUXIAN MOMENT JUST USE HIS HELP TO GET BACK UP GODDAMNIT OTHERWISE WHO WILL SETTLE THE SCORE AND HELP HIM CLOSE HIS SPIRITUAL VISION

-wait is she settling her own grudge? I DONT LIKE THIS

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-i fuckIN KNEW IT I KNEW SHE WASNT GONE

-OMG SHES STILL FUCKING PEOPLE UP YES THIS IS AMAZING

-awww samsin and death talking about weol ju i cant

-OH MY GOD WHY DID THEY DO THIS TO ME AGAIN THATS MEAN TO MAKE ME THINK THAT KANG BAE STILL HAD THE SPIRITUAL VISION PROBLEM WHEN ALL HE HAD WAS SOMETHING ON HIS EYE. no srsly they already did that once with weol ju i feel like this is overdoing it

-weol ju looks horrible oh honey im sorry. well, she did just lose the love of her life and thinks she failed her son as well

-I FUCKING KNEW IT DAD IS BACK TOO WHO ELSE WOULDVE RESCUED HER FROM THE DARKNESS YET AGAIN

-thank the gods. nobody has been as cruel to me as guardian. except perhaps rogue one

-AAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT WAIT TO SEE KANG BAE’S FACE

-AAAAAAAAA?!?!?!!?!?!

#mystic pop up bar #mystic pop up bar liveblog #mystic pop up bar spoilers #blue watches #mystic pop up bar finale #han kang bae #weol ju #chief gwi #kang yeorin #video reactions linked in this post!

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l0ve-pand0ra · 4 years ago

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unpopular my hero opinions!!! waaa if u get offended they arent real ppl. and fyi this is one of my all time favorite animes.

1. todoroki isnt less cool now bc hes not the stoic asshole with no friends. the only reason yall think that is bc he gets so little screen time and time to shine bc when he does hes so much better then deku so they constantly dim his character down

2. todoroki would have made a more compelling and interesting and believable main character rather then deku.

3. deku was Never the underdog, he got all mights (the #1 heros) quirk Given to him for FREE. and all might favors him and gives him special treatment. and he gets away with everything. his family is super supportive. hes deadass not the underdog just bc he breaks his bones for a while. especially after season 2, underdog my ass

4. it makes zero sense that todorokis deep rooted issues and trauma got resolved with some words in a couple of episodes. meanwhile it takes bakugou 4 season to even consider changing his mindset on deku. even though bakugous whole issue is something he MADE UP in his head. again, todoroki getting done dirty

5. deku should not have beaten overhaul. when he went out to fight i literally rolled my eyes. sure the fight was impressive with stunning animation and sure he had eri. but ur telling me a freshman beat a villian with a quirk that allows him disassemble and reassemble matter which if you forgot what matter is it everything around you everything including the air.

6. todoroki and Bakugo werent in season 4 for much of it purely because of how popular they are and how much more people prefer them to Deku

7. sir nighteye rlly died without recognizing deku as being worthy of one for all... welp

8. shinsou got set up to the max going up against deku who for whatever reason on that day decided to tap into some dead mfs living inside him.... COME ON

9. this one isn’t unpopular but HOW DID U.A NOT THINK TO USE SHINSOU DURING THE OVERHAUL CASE???? like i understand hes not in the hero course but dude.......

10. my hero has weak villains, the league is a joke with no clear direction for the whole anime, they start showing promise at the end of the overhaul arc. n i adore the league n its members but in the anime the jus seem lost with no clear direction ... and all for one aint all that. stain on the otherhand is the only good villain with conviction and is super compelling the stain arc was way ahead of its time

11. WHY TF DOES IIDA GET SO MUCH SCREEN TIME,???? FUCKING MOVE LIKE HES NOT EVEN COOL???????

12. tetsutetsu deserved to be in class 1A and has more charisma and likability then most of class 1A.

13. monama has a reason to be peeved, like come on 1B is literally known as lesser 1A... that is annoying

14. present mic is ugly n just bc him and aizawa are friends doesn’t mean you Have to ship them together. aizawa can do so much better.

15.(basically point 2 expanded lol) todoroki should have been the main character. hes way more compelling and has a way clearer goal then deku. now if deku became the worlds first quirkless hero thats one thing. but can you imagine todoroki having to decide if he should accept all mights power and if he does is he doing it for the right reason? or seeing an in-depth look into his family situation. like come on the set up with dabi being his archenemy secret brother, n if u want some bland het romance him and momo. bruh it writes itself.

16. deku having multipal quirks is such Bullshit. like come on giving him more quirks wont make him more of a compelling character.

17. the history of one for all makes no sense. i dont understand sure its buliding of power that gets passed on but,?? why couldn’t all might use all the quirks of the past users, why wasnt he able to see them like deku??? and idk it feels like they are always changing some part of one for all making it inconsistent.

18. bakugou has the best hero custome

19. the show is missing a character in 1A with a healing quirk. i feel like having someone like that would have really added to the show and would have been interesting.

20. tamaki is so much cooler then mirio, his quirk is so much stronger and dont get me wrong I love mirio and his quirk is incredible but tamaki basically as acess to an unlimited amount of quirks. plus its not just food he ate that crystal guys crystal n produced them. its badass

22. todoroki and bakugou not passing the hero exame was bs. todoroki was provoked by the baldheaded kid and he’s the one who started the fight not Todoroki. bakugou is himself and does not do fake comfort hes not all might, whats important is saving people if he gets the job done who cares. them not passing was jus an excuse to push their characters aside for the season.

23. the gentle arc was lame and made no sense especially bc of the roller coaster that was the overhaul arc. i understand that’s the point of it was so Deku realizes that not all villains are these horrible nasty people that are human too but like the placement was just so weird especially since it was before the endeavor and hawks arc it just made no sense to me at least. it just seem like another way to make the viewers think Deku is super cool main character. and once again he gets to defeat a villain all by himself... le sigh

24. bakugous anger is completely unjustified the entire series. I adore Bakugou and I adore his character and he is one of my favorite anime characters ever but He has no reason to be mad he has an awesome quirk he’s a prodigy at everything he does he has both his parents he’s wealthy he is well liked and popular where is the justification for his anger and I’m not saying that just because you have a nice life doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to be angry but this dude is yelling is mad all the time there’s issue with that. and as I stated previously his issue is something he made up in his head. he construed a narrative in his head who deku is.

25. anyone else feel like U.A is understaffed ?

26. that wood hero is a misogynist and hates women... he was real up in arms about mont lady when she was the one who actually stopped and captured that villain.

28. best jeanist is so cool im so sad where is he please come home. he’s literally the coolest pro hero. i dont like how he tried to change bakugou but he had a point on bakugous attuide being a bit much sometimes.

29. endeavor does not deserve a redemption arc stop normalizing forgiving your abusers people don’t have to forgive their abusers no matter if they’re their parents. and choosing not to forgive them doesn’t mean that you’re holding onto this huge anger and it’s holding you back it just means you choose not to associate with them and to keep them away from you and I totally understand that Todoroki technically needs his father to teach him how to improve them but he doesn’t have to forgive him neither do his siblings they have every right to hold endeavor accountable for everything hes done!

30. MY HERO IS AMAZING AND THESE OPINIONS WERE JUS TO HAVE FUN AND MEAN NO HARM!!!! REMINDER THIS IS ALL FOR JOKES AND FOR FUN AND U DONT HAVE TO AGREE!!!!! my hero is one of the best shonen animes up there with the classics like naruto dbz and one piece, and also am i in no way actually criticizing the author lol Horikoshi has more talent on the tips of his finger nails then my whole bloodline will probably ever have lol !

#my hero academia #unpopular thoughts #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #anime #katsuki bakugō

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agentkgent · 5 years ago

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Song Insp. 1 - “Undrunk”

Inspired by “Undrunk” by FLETCHER; Eddie and Richie are in their freshman years at separate colleges, and broken up since high school (Richie didn’t think long distance would work); Anyway, Eddie sees Richie post photos with a cute boy and he gets drunk and he gets voicemail-happy. Enjoy. (Mild sexual content, some profanity, underage drinking, mention of throwing up, but overall pretty tame; Oh, also Pennywise never existed ok thanx)

Cleaned-up and updated version available on AO3

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[Please enter your password.]

****

[“Richie Tozier, mothafuckers!” You have. 19. New Voicemails.]

Voicemail 1 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:20 A.M. “Fuck-“ *low thud*

Voicemail 2 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:33 A.M. “Hi fuckface. It’s Eddie Spaghetti ... I fuckin hated that nickname, so it’s PRETTY WEIRD to call myself that, right? ... Like, do you call yourself ‘Trashmouth’? ... *a loud fake “HA!”* ... You probably do, nothing ever fuckin bothers you-”

Voicemail 3 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:43 A.M. “-don’t know why I’m even messing, but I just wanted you to know that this ‘cute little wimpy boy’ as you used to call me is drunk as FUCK right now in a bar full of hot dudes who are all touching me and buying me jello shots and shit-”

Voicemail 4 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:45 A.M. *shuffling noises* “-eriously Bev, FUCK OFF”

“Eddie, give me the phone!”

Voicemail 5 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:50 A.M. “The lovely Beverly Marsh would like me to tell you she says ‘hi’ and that she’s not condoning my bullshit ... but guess what, bitch? I don’t need anyone to condo my bull-” *hiccup* “-shit. Oh no. Oh fuck. How do I get rid of hiccups? BEV-”

Voicemail 6 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:53 A.M. *hiccup* “-ou think you’re the only fuckin person in the universe, you think you’re hot shit. I’m hot shit. I’ve kissed like, A LOT of dudes tonight, how about that?! Okay? They’re all buying me shots and shit and one guy even picked me up. Remember when you did that? Guess what, other guys can do that too! You’re not fucking special-”

Voicemail 7 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:54 A.M. “Richie, it’s Bev ... Hi, I’m sorry we haven’t talked in a while.” *bass rumbles from a song change in the background* “Listen ... I’m sorry about Eddie. He’s upset about something you posted on Instagram earlier today, I didn’t see it, so I don’t know what he’s pissed about. I dunno, it’s none of my business, but he’s just drunk and being stupid. I’ll try to get him to stop calling you ... Um, so, ... I hope you’re doing okay! Like I said, I’m sorry we haven’t, like, talked or anything in a while but I’d love to catch up! Maybe you can come visit NYU sometime? I mean, you can visit me at NYU. I don’t mean-” *a loud, drunk yell* “It’d just be nice to see you, Rich. Text me!”

Voicemail 8 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 1:56 A.M. “Hey dipshit your voicemail system keeps cutting me off, what the fuck?”

Voicemail 9 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 2:18 A.M. *silence* ... *a deep breath* ... *shuffling*

Voicemail 10 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 2:20 A.M. *club music and background noise is gone* *groan* ... “It’s just so fuckin’ easy for you to just MOVE ON, huh? Fucking bullshit. Mr. ‘I Love You But Long Distance Never Works.’ Mr. ‘Oh But This Guys Got Great Hair I’ll Fuck Him.’ He’s ugly, by the way. All the guys you go to school with look fucking ugly online. And you know that I don’t make shit up when I drink tequila, I just get more honest, so those fuckbois are ugly as hell-”

Voicemail 11 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 2:23 A.M. “I guess the best part of living far, far away from you is forgetting what you look like. Are you even still good-looking? You might be ugly, now too.” *quiet shuffling* ... *tapping noises* “I still got the photos you sent me ... I probably should have deleted them, but I guess I figured if I needed to have ammo ready in case you decided to be a dickhead-”

Voicemail 12 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 2:26 A.M. “Fuck... I forgot...” *muffled noises* ... *a deep, throaty breath* “Fuck...”

Voicemail 13 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 2:50 A.M. “Richie, I... I’m sorry ... This just ... Sucks.” *a deep breath* ... *quiet shuffling* “I don’t think it’s worth anything now and I’ve gotta-” *cough*

Voicemail 14 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 3:14 A.M. *clears throat* “...Well, I feel a little bit better after throwing up ... I’m also now realizing some of the horrible shit I’ve said tonight, so if you stopped listening to these voicemails, I’d understand ... But I’m just ... This is really hard. And I saw that photo of that fuckin guy, and you have your arm around him-”

Voicemail 15 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 3:15 A.M. “Dude, seriously, what the fuck is your voicemail’s problem? It keeps cutting me off. I’m trying to open up here.”

Voicemail 16 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 3:28 A.M. *deep breath* “I’m sorry. This is stupid ... Bye, Rich.”

Voicemail 17 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 3:57 A.M. *quiet sob* “I just... I wish I never met you, sometimes.” *sniffle* “Because now I always compare everyone to you ... And you’re gone, we’re done, like I get it. But it just sucks ... I really wish I could just like, ‘un-fuck’ you. You’re all I can think about when I - ... I hate that I miss you so much. I hate that I drank so much and got so fuckin- ugh, god, I kissed strangers.”

Voicemail 18 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 4:01 A.M. “This is gonna be the biggest regret of my fucking life, leaving you 300 voicemails. Please don’t abuse this. I’m not proud of it.”

Voicemail 19 | NOVEMBER 3, 2019 at 4:31 A.M. “Yeah, jus-” *soft thuds* “Just tell him-” *gentle taps*

“Rich? It’s Bev again. Hey, so. I’m with Eddie now, I’m making sure he gets to bed and doesn’t choke on his own puke. He said he’s really sorry. Um, but yeah, please don’t humiliate him? He’s kind of an emotional mess. Sorry again.” *shuffling noises* “Jesus, Eddie! How many voicemails did you leave him? He’ll probably send the police looking for us-”

[End of messages. To save messages, press-] *beep*

[Messages saved.]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Eddie’s head is pounding as his ears recognize the familiar digital noise ringing next to him. He instinctively picks up his phone and checks his screen.

*Incoming Facetime request from Richie Tozier*

He thinks he might throw up.

*Accept* and the video call connects.

“...Before you say anything, I’m paying for it dearly.” Eddie groans.

His eyes focus on the figure on his screen. It’s obnoxiously close and familiar and makes Eddie ashamed of himself. Richie doesn’t say anything. He just raises his eyebrows and waits for Eddie to say... something?

“And... I’m sorry, Rich.” Eddie rubs sleep from his eyes and feels a strong ache developing in his skull. “I’m an asshole. I’m really sorry. I’ll leave you alone forever now, bye-”

“Eddie!” Richie interrupts ferociously. “You left me. Almost 20 voicemails. What the fuck is your problem? Do you understand that when you leave 20 voicemails for someone, they’re gonna think you’re dead? Or kidnapped? Or trapped under a fallen vending machine, or some shit?!”

“Okay well, if I was kidnapped, it wouldn’t have done me any good. Why didn’t you answer?”

Richie scoffs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Okay. Fuck off. First of all, you really think this would go any better if you’d talked to me?”

Eddie swallows. “No.”

“And SECONDLY, I left my phone at Stan’s house. We watched Zombeavers and I had my phone on silent.”

“...What the hell is Zombeavers?”

“Eddie are you fucking serious? Don’t ever fucking do that to me again!” He spits faster than anything Eddie’s heard him say and brushes his curls away from his face. “Thank your lucky stars that Beverly was taking care of you. I talked to her this morning.”

Eddie swipes down on his screen to check the time. 1:01 p.m.

“Goddamn it.” Eddie moans. His head is the swampiest he’s ever felt. Like his brain is sloshing around in alcohol. He gags visibly at the thought.

“Whatever you’re feeling, you deserve ten times worse.”

Eddie wipes his mouth and fidgets with his hair, brushing it away from his increasingly warm face. “Okay, I get it. I’m fucking sorry.” He can feel tears forming behind his eyes. “I’m fucking sorry. I was a drunk idiot. I was a jealous asshole and I need to mind my own fucking business.”

Richie doesn’t respond.

Eddie suspects the conversation is concluding, so he prepares to hang up as fast as he can say ‘goodbye’-

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

“What?”

Richie sighs. “The guy in the Instagram photo isn’t my boyfriend, I haven’t hooked up with him or anything. He’s Stan’s roommate. He’s also extremely straight. Like, next level hetero. Annoyingly hetero. I really like making him uncomfortable.”

Well, if Eddie didn’t feel ashamed before, he sure fuckin does now.

“Oh.”

“Yep. So, uh. Nothing to get jealous over, Eds.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “Still? Can you stop?”

Richie’s face twists in disbelief. “You have no room to tell me to stop anything right now.”

“I’m sorry, though. For being jealous.”

Richie pauses. “It’s okay. A lot of the guys I go to school with are pretty ugly.” He leans away from the phone and shouts, “STANLEY INCLUDED!”

Eddie hears an echoed, “FUCK YOUUUU” from a voice somewhere behind Richie, who laughs. Proud of himself.

Eddie tries to smile, but he’s still empty.

“You have plenty of guys to keep you company, sounds like.” Richie says in a less-than-thrilled tone.

“I gave them pecks on the mouth.” Eddie says without looking back at his phone. “They bought me shots and tried to hit on me, but I don’t want to exchange saliva with strangers. I think I exaggerated in the voicemails, though.”

“Well, you always compare them to me, right? To the Trashmouth?”

Eddie’s own words are restored in his memory. “Jesus christ, I-”

“It’s okay, Eds. After my rage subsided and I talked to Bev and figured out that you were okay, I actually admired the honesty.”

Eddie can’t help but laugh mockingly at himself. “Yeah, that’s me. Super honest. To a fault.”

Richie smiles. “Bev and I talked about hanging out next weekend. Got any plans?”

Eddie’s eyebrow twitches and he looks back to his screen. “What?”

“I’m gonna come up next weekend. Bev invited me to stay for a weekend. I’ve never been to New York.” Richie shrugs.

Eddie can’t form words. He almost forgets that Richie can see him right now via digital video. He shouldn’t want to see Richie, but he does. He knows it now. It’s out of his mouth, out there in the universe. Fuck, it’s recorded in digital audio format.

“Are you free?”

“I uh...” Eddie stutters. “Yeah. Yeah, I- I free.”

“You’re still cute as can be, Eds.” Richie’s smile is sickeningly sweet.

Eddie lets a smile show on his face for a half-second, then presses his lips into a firm line. “Don’t call me Eds.”

Richie’s face changes immediately. “Oh! By the way!” He’s wearing a sleazy grin. “You kept photos of me? ...Like, those photos?”

Eddie has to take a moment to remember.

His face immediately goes neon red at the memory of resurfacing sext pictures and dick pics of Richie that they’d shared their senior years at Derry High School. He’d dug them up in his photo stream and... looked... too long at them. He can’t help but slap his own hand across his expression.

“Dude!” Richie laughs and is fixated on Eddie’s reaction. “Are you serious? You kept those? I thought I was an asshole for keeping a photo of you shirtless. You kept pictures of my dick?”

“Ok.” Eddie tries to punctuate the conversation.

“What else? I think I remember sending you my ass a couple times.”

“Alright, Rich. Don’t rub it in. I’m not proud of what I did.”

Richie pauses. “What do you mean ‘what you did?’”

Eddie feels like he might drop dead from self-inflicted humiliation. He doesn’t respond, he tries to think of a deflect.

“Eddie Kaspbrak...” Richie’s breath hitches in his throat. He’s not smiling. “Did you jerk off last night between voicemails?”

“Okay Rich, I’m sorry again about all the voicemails. But we’re good now, right?” Eddie presses.

“EDDIE DID YOU JERK OFF TO PHOTOS OF ME?” Richie yells, giant grin on his face and his eyes going dark. There’s a muffled, “What the fuck?” that comes from Stanley somewhere in the background, and Eddie is going to throw himself into oncoming traffic because certain death is better than the absolute tormenting embarrassment of this situation.

“You’ll figure everything out with Bev and we’ll see you next weekend, yeah?“ Eddie rushes to end the conversation.

“Hey! What the fuck! All I have is a shirtless pic to work off of, you’ve got like, Spielberg angles on my anatomy!” Richie chuckles. “Send me some new material, fucker!”

“Wow. Oh my god. Okay, good to talk to you, Rich.”

“Eddie.” Richie says, softer.

He looks at his screen one more time. “Yeah?”

“Text me next time?”

#reddie #college!reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak

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everymovie2020 · 5 years ago

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Sleeping with the Enemy (1991)

Date watched: 12 October 2019

To conclude my Saturday afternoon 90s thriller-fest I watched Sleeping with the Enemy, not one of Julia Roberts' finest movies, but ngl, I enjoyed this more than Single White Female. Maybe it's the Julia of it. I'm not really sure.

That's not to say that I think this movie is very good, but Julia is good, and I love her, so… it's a good movie.

Plot:

Julia is married to this prick who is not a famous actor so I will just refer to him as her prick husband. They live in a ginormous house overlooking the beachin… upstate New York? The Hamptons maybe? I'm not sure.

So the first sign of trouble in paradise is when the prick of a husband freaks out about the new neighbour and accuses Julia of sleeping with him, even though she didn't. At all.

And then he hits her and has a go at her about putting dinner out for him and he's just, honestly, he is just a monster. He is so horrible. She is so lovely and he is horrible.

So he forces her to go boating at night (at NIGHT. WHY. WHY THE FUCK), and a storm whips up (convenient) and she falls overboard and dies.

But wait! She's not dead! She learned how to swim and swam to shore to escape the mother fucker, because that's how Ju-Ro do.

Then she takes a bus to Iowa, and she finds a cute little house, and there's a happy montage of her painting and getting her life together, and then she meets a guy – who personally, I find creepy but wtf do I know, she seems into it – and they really hit it off, and then her prick of a husband figures out she's not fucking dead.

This is where she went wrong – when she took swimming lessons, she used her real name, and when she went back to the house to get her stuff, she flushed her wedding ring down the toilet but it didn't actually flush, and he finds it in the toilet bowl. You take that shit with you and then throw it dramatically off a bridge somewhere, that's what you do.

So he tracks her down and follows her to a carnival where she and the new dude go and have a nice time together. They're going to have a night-time picnic because… I guess people do shit like that in the country, wtf do I know, night-time picnic it is, just like the night-time sailing which I still do not fucking understand. Why at night? What do you possibly get out of it? What can you see? The lights in the distance? Oh wow, that sounds fucking amazing.

Fucking night-time sailing. In what goddamn world. Is this a rich person thing? Oh the day isn't good enough, we must sail our boats at night! What fun! What a gay time we'll have sailing our rich person yachts at night!

Look, the more I think about it, the madder I am. Night-time sailing. It makes absolutely no sense. You can't even say "it's to look at the stars" because they're right near land and there's too much light pollution for that. It's nonsense.

Anyway, ol fuckface husband is at the house, and he's straight up going to murder Julia, but she kills him first. And that's how it ends.

Good job, Julia.

Can I just say, and this is not a complaint about the inexplicable night-time sailing, that she is rocking some fabulous early 90s rich lady fashion in this movie, and also, the dresses she wears when she goes country are cute as fuck. Also her hair is curly and glorious and she's so goddamn beautiful, like, what a star. She really elevates this.

Night-time sailing, guys. I mean.

#sleeping with the enemy #1991 #movies #movie review #julia roberts #patrick bergin #kevin anderson #and literally nobody else #those curls tho #that smile tho #what a star

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dahliawolfe · 5 years ago

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Luna

Pairings: Derek Hale/Andi Balik (OFC), Stiles/Lydia

“Stiles! Hey, Stiles!”

Stiles stops in his tracks. He knows that voice. But surely, it’s not…

“Andi?” he asks, turning around. He hasn’t seen his cousin in nearly ten years, but there’s no mistaking those dimples.

She hugs him tightly. “How have you been, Little Cousin?” she teases, ruffling is hair. Andi is four years older than him, and she never lets him forget it. Stiles rolls his eyes.

“I’ve been ok. What are you doing here?” Andi shrugs.

“It’s fall break at school, and I had nothing better to do, so I thought I’d come by and pay a visit to my favorite cousin.”

“I’m your only cousin.” Andi’s mom was Stiles’ late mom’s only sister. Andi chuckles.

“Plus, I’m looking for a place to settle down. I’m going to be finishing up my journalism degree soon, and I’ve been thinking about getting out of Denver. It just doesn’t feel like home since…” Stiles knows what she means. Since her mom died. Stiles hadn’t been able to attend the funeral, but his heart had broken for her nonetheless.

“Guys, this is my cousin, Andi. Andi, these are the guys,” Stiles announces later that night as the group gets together. They’re a small pack. They’ve lost too many pack mates. But they were stronger than ever. Scott, Lydia, Peter, Malia, Ethan, Stiles, and Derek. They’d all drifted apart for a while, but they eventually made it back to each other. And back to Beacon Hills.

“Hi, guys. Nice to meet you,” Andi says, giving a lame wave.

“Wait, this is THE Andi?” Scott asks, studying the girl.

“Yes, Scott.”

“There’s no way this beautiful creature is related to you,” Peter purrs, stepping forward. “Peter Hale. Lovely to meet you.” He takes Andi’s hand and kissing the back of it.

“Ummmm…Thanks.” Andi subtly wipes her hands on her jeans.

“I’m Lydia, Stiles’ girlfriend. I must say, I love those boots. We definitely need to go shopping while you’re here.” Andi beams.

“Thanks! I got them at this overstock place in San Diego, actually.” Lydia gasps.

“I’m Ethan.” Andi nods at the quiet guy.

“Nice to meet you, Ethan.”

“I’m Malia. You look nothing like Stiles.” Andi snorts.

“I obviously got all the good genes before this one was born,” she teases, nodding at Stiles.

Derek, as usual, is silent.

“You must be Derek, then. Hi, Andi Balik. Nice to meet you,” she sticks her hand out, and Derek shakes it, giving her a nod and a small smile.

“Nice to meet you. Yeah, I’m Derek. Derek Hale.”

Stiles can’t help but notice that Derek doesn’t take his eyes off of Andi as she settles in between Scott and Lydia. The broody man almost seems enamored with Stiles’ cousin. And Stiles thinks that maybe, just maybe, he can work with that.

“Stiles, why couldn’t we just order in, instead of coming out in this storm just to get tacos?” Lydia complains as they pull into the parking lot of Stiles’ favorite Mexican restaurant.

“Because, you can’t get quality like this with take out,” he replies with a snort, like the answer should be obvious. He helps Andi crawl out of the back seat, and they all begin the trek to the front door of the restaurant. The wind is howling, and lightning is flashing in the sky. It had been raining buckets not five minutes ago.

“I better get some quality salsa and chips for you dragging my ass all the way to the middle of nowhere for…” Andi begins, but she’s cut off by a ear piercing scream. At once, all of the wolves are on alert, and Stiles is creeping closer to the Jeep for his bat.

“What the hell?” Andi hisses.

“Stiles, get Andi and Lydia inside. Scott, Ethan, with me. Peter, Malia, take the back,” Derek instructs.

“Wait! What?! You’re going to investigate?! And you want me to stay with Stiles?! No, I don’t think so!” Andi protests, drawing a long knife out of her boot. Everyone looks at her in confusion and mild concern. She shrugs. “What? I live in the city. I have to protect myself.”

“You’re not coming,” Derek replies, matter-of-factly, turning on his heels and leading the others away. Stiles tries to shepherd Andi into the safety of the building, but she breaks away from him and continues on after Peter and Malia.

“Shit,” Stiles whispers, looking at Lydia, who is giving him a smirk.

“Well, I like her,” the strawberry blonde replies, strutting inside, waiting for Stiles to follow.

Once they’re around the corner, all the wolves drop fangs and claws, preparing to fight whatever is waiting in the woods. The smell of blood is nearly enough to gag them. Something else is tinging the air too. Magic.

“Dammit, I thought we were done with all this,” Scott growls.

“Me too,” Ethan adds. Derek has laser focus. He had moved home because he was tired of running, but maybe he should have stayed away. Maybe settling down wasn’t worth being attacked every week.

Andi smells the blood long before she sees the body. Nonetheless, there it is. Suspended in a tree from wires, like some horrible marionette.

“Holy shit,” she gasps, forcing everyone to turn to face her. She catches a glimpse of their glowing eyes, fangs, claws, and excess fur and stops dead.

“What the fuck?!” she hisses. Because, well, what the fuck?

Derek lets out a low warning growl. “I told you to stay,” he grinds out, stalking towards her.

“Well…I didn’t listen?” Andi replies hesitantly. Derek’s eyes flare red as he steps closer. Unbeknownst to her, Andi’s flash silver in return. Derek draws up short, and shock echoes through the pack.

“Peter, take her back. Stay with her,” Derek orders, turning away.

“Wait, no! I want to know what’s going on!” Derek growls again and turns toward her.

“You will go with Peter. Now!” It’s evident that Andi is straining against every fiber of her being to resist the order. Which is strange. She’s human. Right?

…

“Derek, what the hell?!” Scott demands once Peter and Andi are out of earshot.

“Those eyes, that means…She’s a luna,” Malia states, testing out the theory.

“But she’s human,” Ethan points out. “Right?”

“Yes,” Derek sighs. “She’s human. Yes, she’s a luna. It’s rare. But it happens.”

“It does?” Scott asks, genuinely puzzled.

“Yes. In ancient times, it was much more common. Usually, lunas were the born mates of alphas. That wasn’t always the cases, but there hasn’t been a known human luna in at least 200 years.”

“Dude, how do you know all of this stuff? That’s Stiles’ and Lydia’s thing.”

“My mother used to tell me stories of the brave human lunas that led their packs to victory against other oppressive packs.” The younger pack members look at each other silently for a few moments.

“Back to the problem at hand. The mage is gone. For now. But he’ll be back. Ethan, Malia, track him as far as you can and report back. Scott, call the sheriff. I need to speak to Peter.” With that, the alpha stalks off.

…

“Does John know?!” Andi berates. Stiles stands against the Jeep, his eyes wide at his cousin’s anger.

“Uhhh…Yeah, he…”

“Werewolves, Stiles?!” Andi hisses, instinctively lowering her voice.

“I mean…Yeah, but…”

“Stiles! You…I…Ugh!” she growls, throwing her hands up in agitation. Peter and Lydia are standing to the side, watching the cousins in amusement.

Derek approaches the scene and frowns at Peter, motioning for him to come over. Peter returns the nod and pushes off of his sleek black Audi, stepping toward his nephew.

“She’s…” Derek begins once his uncle reaches him.

“A luna. Yes. Your luna, specifically,” Peter replies with a smirk.

Derek raises an eyebrow, glancing at Andi across the parking lot. She has Stiles against the Jeep, a finger jabbed into his chest.

“But how?” the younger Hale questions.

Peter shrugs. “It happens. Look, lunas are rare. If another pack finds out about her, they could take her. A pack is stronger with a luna. And there are ways to force her into fitting into their pack.” Derek frowns.

“I’m not letting that happen.”

“Well, then I suggest you talk to her. Preferably before she kills poor Stiles.”

Andi looks around the diner. It’s nearly one a.m. and the place is pretty much empty. Except for a few truckers, two tired looking waitresses, and her and Derek. He’s agreed to tell her what was going on, and it was a conversation that she felt like she deserved.

“Andi,” Derek begins, hesitating. He’s not exactly good at sharing his feelings. “I…I assume you know what we are?”

“Yeah. I…I figured it out.”

“Ok, good. Well, there’s something you should know…about you.”

“Me? What are you talking about?”

“There’s a term in umm…or community. Luna. It means, basically a female leader of a pack. Specifically, in your case, a human leader.”

“Wait. Back up. Stiles said you were the alpha. So, that means you’re the leader, right? So, how can I be the leader? And how do you know that I am, anyway? Can you smell it?” She gasps suddenly. “Do I smell weird?”

Derek chuckles. “No, you don’t smell weird. Your eyes. They flashed silver when mine flashed red. Your luna was telling my alpha that she was there. I am the alpha, but well…there’s…”

“Derek, just say it, man. What could be crazier than the night I’ve had already?”

“The luna is the alpha’s mate. Since your eyes responded to mine, that means you’re my born mate.”

“Mate? Like life partner.”

“Yeah, except more…permanent.” Andi takes a deep breath.

“I…uhhh…I see. Well, that’s…interesting.” Derek lets silence settle between them for a few moments before speaking again.

“It…It doesn’t have to be that big of a deal. You’re not going to be forced into anything you don’t want to do. You still have free will.” Andi rubs her temples, leaning back in the pleather booth.

“Can…Can you take me to my hotel? I think I need to sleep on this. I’m not like…rejecting you, or whatever, but I…I just need a little time. Is that ok? Can we maybe meet up for coffee tomorrow or something?”

“Yeah. Sure. Of course. That’s not a problem.” Derek pays for their coffee and leads Andi out to his car.

…

The next morning, Derek walks into the lobby of Andi’s hotel. They had agreed to meet at 9 a.m., and it’s 8:30, so he knows he’s early, but Derek believes in being early. He intends to just lounge in the lobby and wait, but he catches sight of Andi in the hotel gym right off of the lobby, so he decides to go say hello. What he sees when he steps through the frosted glass doors stops him dead in his tracks. Fresh, pink, raised scars stand out against Andi’s pale skin. It’s evident that deep gouges have been made in her flesh, and it angers Derek more than he can describe.

“Andi,” he greets hoarsely. The young woman snaps around, clearly surprised by his presence. Sweat is coating her skin, and her dark hair is stuck in curls to her forehead. Her knuckles are wrapped, and she’s been going one-on-one with the punching bag in the corner of the gym.

“Derek, hey,” she replies, walking over to him.

“What happened?” he motions to her back and sides. Andi frowns.

“The truth is, I was attacked about a year ago. I almost died. That’s why I carry the knife. That’s why I left Denver. There’s nothing there for me anymore. I had to get away. The nightmares, and the paranoia…it was too much. Please, don’t tell Stiles. He worries too much as is.” Derek steps forward, running a gentle fingertip down her side.

“Did they…did they get the guy that did it?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. I quit taking the detective’s calls. It was too much to handle by myself. I didn’t want to know. Ya know? I didn’t want to be told that he was still out there. I would have been terrified more than I already was.” Derek nods. He understands what it’s like to have to look over your shoulder constantly. And more than anyone else, he understands what it’s like to be alone.

“I…You…Are you going to stay here. In Beacon Hills, I mean?” Andi shrugs.

“Maybe. I do have family here. The only family I have left. But I don’t know. I’m a little lost right now. I’m trying to figure out where I’m supposed to be.” Derek steps closer, until he’s only a breath away.

“You have us. The pack. We can be your family. We can protect you. We can care for you. You belong here. You’re our luna, and you’ll always have a place here.” After looking down into Andi’s eyes, Derek leans closer and seals his lips over hers. It’s a slow, gentle kiss, but Andi leans into it. It feels good. It feels right, and Derek doesn’t push her further. He simply gives her one last peck on the lips before cupping the back of her head and placing a feather light kiss on her forehead.

…

“Alright guys, fill us in,” Derek demands as he leads Andi into the pack house later that morning.

“We lost the scent at the edge of town,” Ethan informs, nodding at Andi and accepting one of the doughnuts that she brought to the pack.

“Ohhhh, nice, Luna. Thanks,” Scott says, scooping up a glazed and a powdered doughnut and immediately cramming them in his mouth.

“Any word on who the victim was, Stiles?” Andi asks, propping herself against the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, Dad says he was one of the guys from the commune on the edge of the forest.”

“Excuse me? Commune? You mean cult? Beacon Hills has a cult?” Andi places her half eaten doughnut on the counter and crosses her arms over her chest.

“They’re not a cult,” Stiles protests. Andi glares at him.

“Uh huh. Neither was Jonestown.”

“Andi’s right. It’s suspicious. Scott, you and Malia go and check it out. Malia, keep a lookout for the scent you caught last night. Andi and I are going to the morgue.”

…

“What are these symbols?” Andi questions as she studies the body of the previous night’s victim.

“They look like some sort of rune. Magic stuff,” Derek replies. He doesn’t step any closer to the body because the smell is already too much to handle for him and his sensitive nose.

“Is there anyone who can read these?”

“Funny you should ask. Cuz here I am,” Lydia states, coming into the room. She walks over to the body, covering her nose as she leans down to inspect the symbols. “Definitely magical symbols. I’ve seen this before. I think these are Druidic runes. Deaton could tell you more. But some of these symbols mean ‘to rise’ or ‘ascend’. Maybe someone was looking for a power boost?”

“So, here’s a theory,” Andi begins, standing upright and walking away from the body, tossing her latex gloves in the trash. “What if the mage is part of the commune and was friends with this guy? This poor dude has some healed runes on his lower back that definitely didn’t come from last night. Maybe the mage used his friend here to gain more power, and then as a final boost, killed him in a ceremony of some sort?” Derek nods.

“It’s not the craziest theory that I’ve heard. Lydia, get with Deaton and see if we can’t come up with a binding spell to eliminate his powers so we can take him down.”

“Got it, Boss.”

…

Andi and Derek are exiting the morgue when the alpha’s phone rings. “Hello,” he greets, wrangling his keys out of his pocket. “That’s great, Scott. Hold on to him until we get to you. Lydia is working on a binding spell. We’ll take him out tonight.” With that, he hangs up and looks at Andi. “They found the mage on the commune. Scott and Malia are going to sit on him until we can take him down.”

“Well, let’s get to it, then. He’s not going to wait around forever.”

…

“Andi, Lydia, fall back. Lydia, you work on chanting the spell, Andi, you guard her. When we get him secured, we’ll give him the potion that Deaton sent to strip his powers completely. Then we’ll turn him over to the sheriff,” Derek directs.

“If he survives the spell and potion,” Lydia points out. It was risky. The potion was potent and could very well kill the mage, who turned out to be a lonely middle-aged man. Derek nods.

“Right. If he survives. Andi, you ok with this?” Andi pulls the blade from her boot again.

“I think I’ll be fine, Der.”

…

“By the way this wind is picking up, I’d say they found him,” Andi says to Lydia, who is chanting something in Latin. The wind is blowing fiercely, and the air has become choked with something that Andi has never experienced before. Just then, something whizzes by her head, and it takes her a few seconds to realize that it’s someONE not someTHING. Ethan crashes into the tree at her right.

“Shit,” she hisses, pushing Lydia behind her. Andi stands guard in front of Ethan and Lydia, crouched with her knife at the ready. “Lyds, if you could hurry up, that would be appreciated, Sweetie.”

She can hear Ethan moaning behind her. “How ya doing, Ethan?”

“I’m ok, Luna. I need to go back and…”

“Absolutely not. You will stay behind me.” This time, she feels it as her eyes flash silver.

As sudden as the wind had started up, it dies down. And Andi can breathe again. Lydia is through chanting, and is now smirking at her. Andi smiles. “Good job,” she compliments just as the rest of the pack enters the clearing dragging the mage.

…

“And you just found him? And he confessed to you?” John asks later that night as Andi drops the unconscious mage at the station.

“Yup. That’s the long and short of it.”

“Uh huh. Right. You’ve been spending too much time with Stiles.” With that, the sheriff shakes his head, and walks away, motioning for a deputy to take the suspect to the cells.

…

“That was a pretty damn good night,” Andi sighs, plopping down on the couch by Derek.

“That it was. You were great, by the way. Lydia told me how you took control out there.”

Andi shrugs. “I just did what felt right.” Derek gives her a smile.

“You’re a natural.” They stare at each other for a few moments, smile on both their faces, before Andi gets brave enough to lean in for a kiss. This time, she deepens it, and Derek happily complies. He lifts her to straddle his lap and slides his hands under the hem of her shirt, resting them on her hips.

“Can we…” she asks, pulling away breathlessly.

“Of course, Baby.” Derek hoists her up, forcing her to wrap her legs around his hips as he carries her to his room. She nibbles on his neck all the way, causing him to let out deep, low growls. By the time he gently lowers her to the bed, his cock is rock hard against the front of his jeans.

Andi quickly unbuttons her pants, sliding them off of her hips and reaching for her shirt as she watches the muscles in Derek’s bare chest flex as he removes his own clothes.

Derek nudges her thighs upwards with his shoulders, kissing up her legs and bumping his nose against her covered heat. He crooks one finger in the cotton of her panties, pulling them to the side enough for him to snake his tongue into her. Andi hisses, fisting his hair in one hand, the bedsheets in the other.

Andi will proudly admit that she has never loved stubble more because Derek is driving her mad. When he pulls away to grab a condom and position himself at her entrance, she grabs at his shoulders, needing him closer.

“I’m right here, Darling,” he soothes, kissing her knuckles as he slides into her, bottoming out in one smooth motion.

“Derek,” she moans, raising her hips in time with his thrusts. Derek scoops her up so her chest is against his, but his pace doesn’t change. Andi sucks quickly fading marks into his skin and cups the back of his neck, looking up at him. She knows she’s close, and she can only hope that it feels as good for him as it does for her. He snakes a hand between them, flicking her clit gently, drawing her closer to coming undone. Her back bows. She’s so close.

Derek’s eyes flash red. Hers flash silver in return. And their glowing eyes lock for a few seconds before she springs apart, howling his name, her head thrown back, body taut. Derek steadies her through her orgasm, thrusting slowly and steadily. He gentles her with soft kisses to her temple as he chases his own release. Finally, he stills in her, smiling down at her. He lays her gently on the bed, tossing the condom away before laying beside her and pulling her close.

…

“So, I’m gonna be staying for a while. That is, if you’ll have me?” Andi says a few days later when the pack gets together. A chorus of positive affirmations fill the air, and the luna smiles. It looks like she’s found exactly where she belongs.

THE END!

Word count: 3618

#teenwolf #imagine #story #teen wolf fanfiction #tw #derek hale #stiles #scott mccall #lydia #peter hale

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like-twilight · 5 years ago

Text

I’m jus’ gon do this cause why not I stole it from Here.

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

According to my last.fm in the last seven days: 1: ATEEZ: Wave 2: ATEEZ: Illusion 3: ATEEZ: Win 4: TxT: Run Away 5: ATEEZ: Precious 6: ATEEZ: Say My Name

Guys. I like Ateez.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

My sister.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

Well I ain’t standin’ up so here’s line 17 from page 23 of Vale which is on my computer.

““Well then, Your Highness,” I say and crouch down, trying to get a look of her face”

4: What do you think about most?

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad things.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

From a real person that’s not an automated message from a bank or a website it’s from my co-worker from October 26th that says “Ok I’ll do it, print it then I’ll replace it”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Well. PJ’s are clothes so.

7: What's your strangest talent?

I don’t think I have any.

8: Girls... (finish the sentence); Boys... (finish the sentence)

Girls not allowed. Boys also not allowed. Leave me alone. (My nb friends can come tho.)

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

If I did then the creator didn’t tell me :”D

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I... can’t recall.

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

Frogs.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Maybe as a baby?

13: What's your religion?

I don’t belieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

I’m not outside. But I’d probably be going to work or the store or the post office.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind.

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Ateez!

17: What was the last lie you told?

“I’m okay!” #deep

18: Do you believe in karma?

god no!

19: What does your URL mean?

It’s a quote from Ateez’s Twilight.

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I’m very depressed. Strength is probably that I’m still alive? Idk

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

Idk. Find a lot of famous people attractive I-? I Don’t have just like The Celebrity Crush. Jeong Yunho’s cute tho.

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

No.

23: How do you vent your anger?

I throw a temper tantrum.

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

Just a mason jar of my tears. Also every Ateez album released so far.

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Neither! Fucking email me, bro.

26: Are you happy with the person you've become?

God no :D

27: What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

Ambulance sirens hate. Fuckin... panflute I love.

28: What's your biggest "what if"?

What if I was a... giraffe.? Or a tardigrade.

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

I believe in things we can’t perceive scientifically or whatever. Not ghosts per se, like souls of dead people or whatever. Also yes to aliens.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Nothin I’m jus sittin on my bed. If I move my arms up and down a bit then my blanket and a bottle of water.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Nothin. Is just my room.

32: What's the worst place you have ever been to?

Uuuh a cemetery?

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

In America? Idk which is less racist in general?

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

What’s an “opposite” gender? I know you mean male but I refuse to give into the cISSEXIST SCUm.

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

I have no idea what that means.

36: Define Art.

the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Yes. But I’ve never been the lucky one unfortunately.

38: What's the weather like right now?

Uuuh I have to google it. Clear. 8°

39: What time is it?

21:30

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

No. But I probably would.

41: What was the last book you read?

Pfssssshhhh, one that wasn’t written by me? Fucks me, dude. Fault In Our Stars? The Death Cure? I can’t remember, it’s been years.

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Yeah!

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Tia.

44: What was the last film you saw?

Uuuuuuuuhhh... UUUUHHHHHHHHH How to Train Your Dragon 3, it was nice.

45: What's the worst injury you've ever had?

Had a bleeding spine! Kinda miss it tbh.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

I probably haven’t tried, I’ve just tried to get them to land on me.

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

Uuuh I’m into Ateez these days.

48: What's your sexual orientation?

I’m byesexual.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Yes.

50: Do you believe in magic?

Again, I do believe things could exist we can’t scientifically explain but idk. Not in the Harry Potter magic way.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

No, cause I believe everything is my fault.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Aries.

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I save money TO spend. I think I found a healthy balance.

54: What's the last thing you purchased?

A fukin... bike. That’s like in your room. Not by accident but because it’s meant to be there.

55: Love or lust?

Like.. in what context? Love? Idk.

56: In a relationship?

Love.

57: How many relationships have you had?

None relationships.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

I can’t.

59: Where were you yesterday?

Like on average? Or 24 hours ago exactly. Cause I was at work for eight hours and then I was just on my bed.

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

Yeah, my phone case.

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Ye.

62: What's your favourite animal?

Cat? Idk.

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

:DDDD If I had any then people would like me.

64: Where is your best friend?

????

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

I... I dunno? The ones I follow?

66: What is your heritage?

I don’t know what that means. Like what I’m gonna be remembered by? I whined a lot!

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Cried.

68: What do you think is Satan's last name?

Choi.

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Why would I lie about masturbation. Yeah I did.

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Fuck no.

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog, fuck off.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I am telling everyone. b) Be paralysed by fear and waste all of it. c) Yes, very much.

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

I feel like that’s stupid.

74: What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Illusion by Ateez these days.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

4153

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

I wouldn’t know, buddy.

77: How can I win your heart?

Just be nice to me and I’ll probably be emotionally attached to you for life, sorry.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

I don’t think insanity is the cause for any creativity. If an insane person is creative then they would be creative with a sound mind too.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Got into kpop, that was nice.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

“Balled 2 hard lol”

82: What is your favourite word?

There are too many words.

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Kokoro.

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

I don’t think there is one.

85: What's the last song you listened to?

Treasure by Ateez.

86: Basic question; what's your favourite colour/colours?

Pink and yellow.

87: What is your current desktop picture?

A picture of.. Ateez... sorry.

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

Donald Trump.

89: What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

Uh, I think I’m p truthful, yeah. Ask me anything.

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

Scream. Maybe scramble on the floor and push past them if I can.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Immortality!

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Oh geez. I was on a carousel in Italy once, that was awesome.

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

The one that gave me depression idk which one it was but can it go away?

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

Ehh, I don’t want that. Like... I don’t know those people, they could be Awful in bed or just in general too. Like I need an emotional bond first and they don’t even know me and I only know the persona they show to the public. Plus it could potentially ruin the music for me later on, it’d be weird, no thank you.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

UUUUUHHHHH I DUNNO Lyon cause Grenoble doesn’t have an airport. Well, actually my sister isn’t in Grenoble right now. Hm well if I grab my card before I go then I can just find a hotel there until she comes home.

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

I don’t think so?

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I had to throw up in a car and then asked the driver to stop the car so I can throw up outside the car.

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yes. Seven times. SEVEN TIMES? Yeah, holy shit.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Someone help me, I am so so so incredibly in need of help, please. Please. Thank you.

#about me #personal

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readbythestarlight · 7 years ago

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c2e20

Can you guys believe it’s been 20 episodes already?? I can’t

LOL oh Sam we love you even if you are a nerdy loser

“IM A REAL ACTOR AGAIN”

I hate him and his ads

I knew it wouldn’t take them long to get into mischief over Nott’s never-empty flask

“How many fingers am I holding up?”

“I think four?”

“How many members of the Mighty Nein are there?”

“Nine.”

“She’s fine.”

Good job changing the subject Caleb xD

F: “Are we not worried about the ambush thing?”

Everyone: “nah”

Yasha liking to snuggle Frumpkin gives me life

Molly just… using the Platinum Dragon tapestry as a blanket and Nott wanting to make it into coats smh

Clouds??

OH ARMY

oh no the cart!

leave the cart get away from the army plz go go go

or ask for help that’s possibly a good idea maybe…

Oh yay Jester, magicing it up!

Aw not enough tho…

Hey @Matt why make them lose their cart that was rude

They are SO BAD at planning on the fly it’s amazing

Hello Captain Maximillian

Laura, grinning: “What do he look like?” Laura is me I wanna know what the NPCs look like always

NOTT

omg Nott plz

omg did it work

lol its food xD

Female solider: looks at Yasha

Yasha: *most awkward grin ever*

I apologize Matt thanks for letting them keep the cart

Jester loves showing off her strength and it’s the best thing ever I love it so much

Beau asking Fjord about his dreams. Beau is gonna singlehandedly dig up everyone’s backstories.

Fjord being a shifty boy about the dreams…

So much rain…. I don’t like it, it’s going to take Ashley/Yasha away soon isn’t it I can tell

YOOOOOOOO YASHA BACKSTORY

IVE BEEN WAITING

baby giiiiirl

BABY GIRL

matt I asked for a week without being sad for one of my children. just a week. that was all i asked for.

jesus matt why do you have to make me sad

Storm god??

stoRM GOD????

“You walk the right path. Be strong. Don’t forget who you were, and decided who you will become.” IT’S FINE IM FINE.

Ashley’s face is the same face I’m making right now

Yasha being an umbrella for Nott lol. For all of three seconds.

My life gets better every time Yasha speaks I’m not even kidding

Yasha and Nott bonding over collecting things is cute

I swear Sam just adds strange new things for Nott to collect every week

Seriously Nott and Yasha are just so precious

Caleb wants to poof in a house all the time

Molly and Nott are the Caleb cheerleading squad and totally believe he can magically poof in a mansion someday

LOL Caleb and his one push up

Please don’t melt the cart, Nott

YAY one vial of acid good for her

Idiots doing bird calls and Fjord and Caleb are jus like “oooookay really tho”

omg are they gonna find a pet crow in a trap i want them to

“THANK YOU OSCAR—I MEAN FJOOOORD”

creepy moving thing in the swamp 0/10

BIRB PERSON?

CREEPY SWAMP LIZARD

goooo Jester!

B: “What are we saving??”

N: “I don’t know, we’re��right now we’re saving Jester!”

SWAMP MAP SWAMP MAP

Haste on Nott, nice!

Oh wait except haste in a battle can be bad…

Matt with a sneaky second gator monster

Nat1, the bird lives!

“A 2, are you fucking serious!?” lol Matt! He’s so salty.

LOL then being like “wait the bird is restrained…” he really wanted to fuck up the bird xD

Fjord just like “why are we doing this”

Enthrall?? Have we seen that happen yet?

I love their enthusiasm about their new spells/attacks

Travis gets so excited every time Yasha rages its my fave

And Liam gets excited every time Nott does something sneaky/rogueish

Not how do you always end up pinned by/inside something

HURRY THE BIRB IS DYING

fighting in a swamp is the worst they’re so slooooow

oh wait i blinked and Yasha is the one in the gator’s jaws now I’m confused

My girl Yasha with the first HDYWTDT of the night again I’m so proud.

RIPPING THE GATOR’S JAWS APART LIKE SHE’S KING KONG YO

oh man poor Not! grappled again. thank goodness for uncanny dodge tho.

Nat20 to beat it on the nose go Beau!

Curse of the Eyeless?? What are all these things??

Liam all like “no no no matt no hurting nott” is such a mood

SAM DONT RISK IT WHAT THE FUCK

Jester is the worst cleric/Laura is the best worst

poor Fjord has been so useless xD

I TAKE IT BACK showed up just in time to get the other HDYWTDT

“Nott today!” xD

“A slop-dolly of epic proportions!”

Oh the bird! Yay!

Adorable little bird person!

IT SPEAKS

A LIL BABBY BIRDIE??

I LOVE HER ALREADY

i can’t believe the mighty nein are gonna take care of a kid

she wrote thank you awwwwwwww

Four she’s four she’s such a babby

Kiri I’m gonna adopt you

SHE’S LOST POOR BABY

Jester/Laura is in mom mode and I love it

I can’t believe she got stuck and her family just left her poor baby Kiri I’m cryyyying

“Nowhere to go, can I come with you?”

I CRY

“Can you handle a weapon?” CALEB SHE’S FOUR SHE’S A BABBY

omg she put her little wings like she was gonna fight I cryyyyyyyyyy

LOL the way she mimicked Fjord’s voice

omg Nott got that pouch of oats and corn. How convenient!

Beau please don’t hit Kiri

LOL she rolled a Nat20 to hit Beau good for her

OH NO DID THEY EAT KIRI’S FAMILY

Caleb totally playing dad to keep Kiri away from the talk about her family possibly being dead I cryyyyyyy

BEAU YOU CAN’T JUST ABANDON HER

she’s so tiny i love her

YOU WILL NOT DROP HER OFF YOU WILL KEEP HER AND LOVE HER UNTIL YOU CAN GET HER BACK TO HER FAMILY

The mighty nein have 8 members now!

Nott and Jester losing their shit over how cute Kiri is is such a mood

Aw poor baby is scared of Frumpkin xD

Caleb sharing his comfort cat is the cutest sweetest thing ever

Ashley why are you insight checking my sweet bird child

Nott gives to Kiri, Jester gives to Nott, Caleb tries to give to Jester. What a bunch of nerds.

Jester and the cranky old lady

“What the FUCK is pocket bacon?!” xD

Caleb is NOT getting into this place lol. An eight foot climb up a rope? Skinny boy can’t handle that.

Beau, honey, please don’t antagonize the Crown’s Guard

“I don’t like you”

“I get that a lot” Poor Beau

LOL then the awkward face off I love Beau so much

“that was me at 16 with every cop” Taliesin Jaffe backstory

NOTT NO ALCOHOL FOR KIRI

“We’ll get her a Tirly Shemple”

“Is it haunted?”

“….Do you like things that are haunted?”

“Yeah.”

“Then it’s haunted!”

Caleb making an intimidation check oh no

Oh wait it worked? holy cow

“It ain’t worth the coin!!”

“What if we gave you a hundred coin?”

“I’d come for that.”

lol Jester forcing the dude to sing

omg is Matt gonna sing??

I’M CRYING

do not trust the guy to take the cart that’s probably a horrible idea…

Nott darling sweetheart light of my life your problems are not a burden talk to Caleb if you need to

wow listen can we go like three weeks without making me sad about Caleb’s past and Nott’s issues

CALEB MIDDLENAME WIDOGAST DO NOT CALL YOURSELF A GARBAGE PERSON (unless you mean it ironically which I know you don’t) I WON’T STAND FOR IT

Matt’s face while Beau and Jester are talking about Captain Max

DO NOT LET KIRI READ YOUR SMUT BOOK JESTER

Molly like super locking up his room is smart, 10/10, that’s using your head

Fjord are you really just gonna sleep in two inches of swamp water

Yasha is having none of this gross guy’s shit good for her

This episode was sooooo good! I hate that I missed it live. It’s all good though. I’ll be back next week!

ALSO I’M SERIOUSLY GONNA ADOPT KIRI

ending it on teasing Marisha about her notebook

GUEST GUEST GUEST GUEST GUEST

#emi watches critical role #critical role spoilers #Critical Role

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therealeagal · 7 years ago

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Boruto - episode 51

So there’s these guys who apparently robbed a bank or something because they’re carrying a crapload of gold or something in a bag and they’re all like “No one will ever find us!” and then they all get killed by what I assume is the bad guy for this episode/arc.

Then catchy ass opening music.

Then cut to Team 7, having completed their latest mission and some randos are talking about how they’re jealous that Boruto is Naruto’s son (which just goes to show how ignorant they are since Naruto is a horrible father).

Then Boruto is bummed because people are always comparing him to his shitty father and there’s a flashback to Boruto’s last birthday party.

Sakura and Sarada show up because they’re awesome. Mitsuki is there and he’s wearing a party hat, and having fun as this is the first birthday party he’s ever attended.

Naruto - to not one’s great surprise - is absent, in spite of his assurances that he would be there.

Cut too some time later in the flashback and the cake is all ate up and Naruto, to the continued lack of surprise from anyone, is still absent.

Then phone call. Turns out Naruto has so little interest in being a good parent that not only does he not keep his promise, but he didn’t even call to tell them he wouldn’t be coming. He made someone else do it hours after the fact.

Boruto, for some inexplicable reason, is sad about his absence but tries to play it off with bravado. If I could reach through the screen and give him a hug I would.

Sarada, being a sweet girl who tries to see the good in everyone even when they’re utter garbage, tries to rationalize Naruto’s shitty behavior by suggesting that maybe there was an emergency that he had to see to, rather than the simple fact that he’s just not interested in keeping any promises he makes to his family.

Then switch back to present just long enough to jump to another flashback later that night. Naruto tried to buy Boruto’s love back by giving him an expensive present (instead of actually making the effort to become involved in Boruto’s life in even the slightest way) and a half-assed apology card (or more likely he made Shikamaru buy it and write the card since Naruto had other things he would rather do).

Then back to present day again, but then Hinata’s like “I want to get in on this flashback action.” and then she flashbacks to the night of Boruto’s birthday where Naruto deigns to return home and plays off his failures to Hinata, which she naturally takes hook, line and sinker because she’s an enabler.

Then she lies to herself about Boruto and Naruto caring about eachother when it’s clear that while Boruto may (for no justifiable reason whatsoever) care for Naruto the opposite is very clearly not the case.

Anyway, back to present day. Boruto went to visit that one scientist dude from that other episode.

And Boruto’s all “Do people think I’m just a kid?”

And the scientist dude’s all “They’re jus’ jelly cause you’re a badass so they make excuses like you’re Naruto’s son. By the way I got you a birthday present.”

It’s some kinda of weird ball. A scientific ninja tool, whatever that means.

Anyway, back to the Uzumaki residence. Boruto returns home and poor Himawari thinks that if she marks her birthday on the calendar ahead of time Naruto will come to her birthday party even though he “forgot” about Boruto’s, because she hasn’t realized that Naruto didn’t forget, he just doesn’t care.

Then Boruto, being an awesome big brother, wants to make his sister happy so he foolishly promises to make sure that Naruto will attend (whom we all know won’t).

Anyway, cut to the next day and Team 7′s next mission is to capture those thieves from the beginning of the episode. Turns out it was a train they robbed, not a bank.

To my honest surprise, Boruto actually mentions the Byakuya gang, suggesting the mission would be more exciting if the thieves were part of their gang.

Cut to Naruto and Shikamaru talking about someone discovering ruins connected to Kaguya and Naruto making excuses about why he couldn’t go to Boruto’s birthday.

Then Naruto and Shikamaru walk outside and Team 7 is there waiting for their mission to start and Boruto asks Naruto to come to Himawari’s birthday party and Naruto, being human excrement as he is, brazenly lies to his son’s face, promising that he will attend the party.

And then Boruto’s like “This is a promise man to man” and Naruto doesn’t even acknowledge it, he just puts his hand on top of Boruto’s head like he considers Boruto a stupid child on account of the fact that Naruto is shisno excrement of the highest order.

Anyway, then Team 7 is on their mission and it turns out the townspeople caught one of the robbers. He came running out of the mine all on his own. All his friends got kill by the bad guy and he went crazy.

Apparently his friends were killed by a white guy! Those who are savvy in the lore of the series will presume he means someone from the Otsutsuki clan, a bunch of people that live on the moon that have white skin and wear white clothes. Like Kaguya. They occasionally come to Earth and wreck everyone’s shit until the good guys give them what for.

Then Team 7 goes into the mines and Boruto is mad cause his dad’s shisno excrement and Sarada’s just like “Get over it, scrub.” which is kinda harsh, but they are on a mission, so I guess she does have a point. They got stuff to do and Boruto don’t need to be moping, he needs to focus.

Anyway, then they stumble across the bodies of the dudes that were killed by the bad guys and find something, or someone’s tracks.

So then they follow the tracks but it turns out it was a trap.

Then the bad guy attacks from above!

Turns out the bad guy is some kind of weird ass fusion of a bunch of White Zetsus.

Then catchy ass ending music.

#boruto naruto next generations #boruto uzumaki #team 7 #naruto uzumaki #sakura haruno #sakura uchiha #sarada uchiha #mitsuki boruto #kaguya otsutsuki #shisno #himawari uzumaki #white zetsu

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ase-trollplays · 7 years ago

Text

-- euphoniousElite [EE] began messaging tapeFace [TF] --

EE: Evening cap✝ain ;)

TF: Sup, my new dude? B)

EE: No✝hin' much, jus✝ ✝hough✝ I'd ✝ry my hand a✝ ✝his whole MAKING NEW FRIENDS ✝hing or wha✝ever

EE: ✝here's some✝hing poe✝ically s✝range abou✝ ✝he username ✝apeFace so

TF: ∩(▰˘◡˘▰)∩ It's like a song, short and sweet

TF: My name's (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*Cacoph*~✧』

TF: ★~(◡ω◕✿) What's your name, friendo?

EE: Lu! You can call me Lu.

TF: (⌐■ω■)b noice

TF: So how's life treating you, Lu? ( ˘▽˘)っ

EE: Well if I'm hones✝, could be a lo✝ be✝✝er :S Bu✝ ✝here's no sense in dwelling on ✝he nega✝ive!

EE: Hand I've been deal✝ as of la✝e is ✝he shi✝✝ies✝ I've had in a long ✝ime.

TF: Damn, that super sucks. (✿◕︿◕)つ

TF: ✺◟( • ω • )◞✺ I hope everything works out!

EE: I'm sure i✝ will in ✝he end. Long s✝ory shor✝, my ma✝e up and wen✝ missing and is probably dead. I ✝hink I'm coming ✝o ✝erms wi✝h i✝ ✝hough.

EE: I've made a lo✝ of new friends la✝ely, so ✝hey're all helping me adjus✝.

EE: I'm in a new place ✝oo..

TF: Oh shit, that -super- sucks. (╯︵╰,) I'm real sorry to hear that, though it's good you have friends to help you cope and move on. (´｡• ᵕ •｡`)

EE: Hell yeah! Cuz like wi✝hou✝ friends, wha✝'s life even for?

TF: I hear you. (´∩｀。) Even the sickest pranks and hilarious jokes mean nothing if you've got no one to share the fun with.

EE: ✝hen you're jus✝ laughing by yourself... ✝ha✝'s never fun.

EE: Jus✝ kinda sad.

TF: The saddest I can imagine. ｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡

EE: Wha✝ abou✝ you? How's life?

TF: Pretty good. Trying to figure out what to do with my lusus. (๑_๑)

TF: I'm getting some kinda gross chest cold, and I don't want to hurt him coughing and make his third head deaf.

EE: Oh shi✝, you would deafen him? ✝ha✝'s nu✝s!

TF: Yeah, it's not great. My handle is kinda literal. I have vocal psionics that make my voice literally painful. ｡ﾟ･ (>﹏<) ･ﾟ｡ At my loudest, I could probably pop someone's head.

EE: ✝HA✝'S SO COOL?

TF: So to avoid accidents, I tape my mouth shut. ✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ:*\(◕ヮ◕)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

EE: Alrigh✝ ✝ha✝'s less cool, bu✝ we all do wha✝ we go✝✝a do, huh.

EE: As a boring ass seadweller wi✝h no cool powers, I'm always fascina✝ed hearing abou✝ ✝hem.

TF: I'd rather have no powers than what I got stuck with. (◕﹏◕✿) It gets annoying sometimes when you can't talk. I can't even whisper.

TF: It gives people tinnitis after a while

EE: I be✝ i✝ would be real rough on me ✝hen. Go✝ super sensi✝ive hearing.

TF: oh god (⊙∩⊙) das no good

EE: I✝ comes in handy more of✝en ✝han no✝! Bu✝ some✝imes ✝hings can ge✝ overwhelming.

EE: I imagine i✝'s only worse for my sis✝er :P She's blind, so hearing is basically ✝he way she func✝ions. Her's is more sensi✝ive ✝han mine

TF: Oh man, that sounds awful

EE: Yeah probably.

TF: wait

TF: Sister? (≖︿≖✿)

TF: You actually met one of your ancestor's other descendants??

TF: Or do you mean sister in a figurative way

EE: Aaaaaahhh i✝'s kind of a long s✝ory? Or maybe no✝ really a long one, bu✝ hard ✝o believe

EE: Video game levels of weird.

TF: Lay it on me. ᕙ( •̀ ︿•́ )ᕗ I can take it

EE: OKAY. Well! I'm no✝ from ✝his ✝imeline. My ma✝e and I did a lo✝ of ✝ime ✝ravel and universe hopping, bu✝ one of our experimen✝s wen✝ awry and he wen✝ missing. I ✝ried ✝o recrea✝e ✝he experimen✝ bu✝ i✝ brough✝ me here. My sis✝er and I are ac✝ually ✝he same person, only I'm from ano✝her ✝imeline.

TF: (⊙O⊙)!!!

TF: Oh snap I'm friends with a time traveling universe hopper!

EE: YEAH.

EE: ✝his nigh✝ jus✝ keeps ge✝✝ing cooler, huh.

TF: Heck yeah! I gotta tell my boi about this!

TF: Or will that cause some kinda horrible time paradox (⊙︿⊙) Like in the sci-fi movies

EE: Nah, should be fine. I ✝hink.

EE: I already me✝ ✝he me from ✝his ✝imeline, I ✝hink if some✝hing weird was gonna happen, i✝'d have happened.

TF: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*SWEET*~✧』

TF: Also

TF: I can't believe multiverse theory was right (⊙o⊙)

EE: I know, i✝'s crazy!

TF: I wonder what alternate me is like (≖︿≖✿) I hope he didn't go the angst route after his psionics activated

TF: Or get his vocal cords removed or something (ﾉ◕△◕)ﾉ

TF: I dunno if they exist where you came from, but if you ever meet a dude named Floren Eresta

TF: R U N . (⊙∩⊙)

EE: Oh shi✝ D:

EE: I ✝ake i✝ ✝his person is bad news?

TF: Apparently dude kidnaps and tortures.

TF: Or used to, I guess? Apparently they're trying to stop being terrible, but I dunno if it'll stick. (≖︿≖)

EE: Holy shi✝.

EE: Any idea wha✝ ✝hey look like?

TF: ngl They're hella pretty. (⁄ ⁄• ⁄ ⁄_ ⁄ ⁄•⁄ ⁄)

TF: They're a seadweller with robot legs and frilly stripy fins and long flowy curlish hair and glasses

TF: Their horns also kinda curl forward and have this random spike on the side

#tapeface #elysiumtrolls #internet cut out so it ends a little abruptly #but hooray new friendship :dddd #also cacoph don't talk about other people das rude

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