#Dringler

[sporadiceagleheart]

Here's my Tribute edit to the Holocaust victims and Anne Frank and her sister Bela Brager, Mirjam Anna Bosman, Aniko Bohm, Stephanie Bujakowsky, Ilse Bruch, Leo Moses Broekman, Franz “Franjo” Brummer, Schprizalla Burstyn, Edit Burg, Jenny Cohen, Isaak Julius “Ies” Cohen, Geertrudia “Truusje” Cohen, David “Dushko” Cohen, Dani “Denny” Cohen, Anna Rosetta Cohen, Angelo Cividali, Mina Chestnaya, Menachem Zeev Chalemski, Leon Cabilio Albahari, Israel Bytenski, Konrad Avraham Czuczka, Robert Ilja Cohn, George Cohn, Louis “Loekie” Cohen,Levi Cohen, Joseph Elias “Jopie” Cohen, Michael Czuczka, Marish David, Ivona David, Manci Rosenfeld David, Erno David, Aliz David, Maria Danos, Rachele Danon, Jeanette Dawidowicz, Yenta Frida Davidovitz, Malka Grinberger Davidovitz, Shlomo Yankel Davidovitz, Rohele Davidovitz, Ochi Davidovitz, Richard de Jong, Louis Alfred “Lou” de Jong, Jeannette “Jeannetje” de Jong, Henri Abraham “Hans” de Jong, Hanna Henderina de Jong, Alfred de Jong, Rachel de Groot, Veronica Margaretha de Vries, Jeannette Frank de Vries, Isaac Koos de Vries, Rudolf de Vries, Dick de Vries, Sophia de Leeuwe, Judith Deutsch, Gyuri Deutsch, Alice Deutsch, Agnes Deutsch, Sylwika Dermer, Agi Denes, Isaias Degen, Jacoba De Wilde, Henriëtte de Wilde, Branca Henriette de Wilde, Miroslaw “Miro” Druzanski, Marjan Drukker, Josina Marja “Jopie” Drukker, Yuri Dringler, Vladimir Dralyuk, Rubin Dichter, Gita Diament, Moshe Yeshiyah Duizend, Menya Efros, Genya Efros, Yitzkhak Ecker, Stella Sara Dym, Manfred Menachem Mandel Ehrlich, Heinz Helmut Eisenstadt, Branko Eisenstädter, Heinrich Eisenstaedt, Mania Halef, Anna Glinberg, Ilse Haas, Ester Gordon, Hans Julius Goldmann, Gerda Goldmann, Ester Gitel Golderat, Eva Friedman, Agnes “Agi” Fuchs, Eduard Fuchs, Iren Davidowitz Fuchs, Ivan Fuchs, Peter Fuchs, Eta Halberstam, Gala Herman, Laura Korn, Betsie Amalia Kosses, Amalie Kosses, Rafael Koslowsky, Golda Lifshitz, Anyuta Lifshitz, Albert Aharon Mendelsohn, Malka Erika Mendelsohn, Liane Münzer, Eva Münzer, Lenke Shefer Neumann, Veronika Neumann, Eva Neumann, Esfir Pinyakova, Miriam “Mirica” Polak, Polina Ratzenberg, Genrikh Ratmanski, Larisa “Larochka” Ratmanski, Magda Rosenberg,

[dringler]

Familiar ground

It was; but is now gone. It can, it could, be once again. We have changed; but our fervent remains. Lest not continue on uncertain, in vain. I was lost; but now am found. What once was unstable is now sound. Tread again my familiar ground; let our hearts reunite abound. 18.3.18 Dringler

[sporadiceagleheart]

Bela Brager, Mirjam Anna Bosman, Aniko Bohm, Stephanie Bujakowsky, Ilse Bruch, Leo Moses Broekman, Franz “Franjo” Brummer, Schprizalla Burstyn, Edit Burg, Jenny Cohen, Isaak Julius “Ies” Cohen, Geertrudia “Truusje” Cohen, David “Dushko” Cohen, Dani “Denny” Cohen, Anna Rosetta Cohen, Angelo Cividali, Mina Chestnaya, Menachem Zeev Chalemski, Leon Cabilio Albahari, Israel Bytenski, Konrad Avraham Czuczka, Robert Ilja Cohn, George Cohn, Louis “Loekie” Cohen,Levi Cohen, Joseph Elias “Jopie” Cohen, Michael Czuczka, Marish David, Ivona David, Manci Rosenfeld David, Erno David, Aliz David, Maria Danos, Rachele Danon, Jeanette Dawidowicz, Yenta Frida Davidovitz, Malka Grinberger Davidovitz, Shlomo Yankel Davidovitz, Rohele Davidovitz, Ochi Davidovitz, Richard de Jong, Louis Alfred “Lou” de Jong, Jeannette “Jeannetje” de Jong, Henri Abraham “Hans” de Jong, Hanna Henderina de Jong, Alfred de Jong, Rachel de Groot, Veronica Margaretha de Vries, Jeannette Frank de Vries, Isaac Koos de Vries, Rudolf de Vries, Dick de Vries, Sophia de Leeuwe, Judith Deutsch, Gyuri Deutsch, Alice Deutsch, Agnes Deutsch, Sylwika Dermer, Agi Denes, Isaias Degen, Jacoba De Wilde, Henriëtte de Wilde, Branca Henriette de Wilde, Miroslaw “Miro” Druzanski, Marjan Drukker, Josina Marja “Jopie” Drukker, Yuri Dringler, Vladimir Dralyuk, Rubin Dichter, Gita Diament, Moshe Yeshiyah Duizend, Menya Efros, Genya Efros, Yitzkhak Ecker, Stella Sara Dym, Manfred Menachem Mandel Ehrlich, Heinz Helmut Eisenstadt, Branko Eisenstädter, Heinrich Eisenstaedt, Mania Halef, Anna Glinberg, Ilse Haas, Ester Gordon, Hans Julius Goldmann, Gerda Goldmann, Ester Gitel Golderat, Eva Friedman, Agnes “Agi” Fuchs, Eduard Fuchs, Iren Davidowitz Fuchs, Ivan Fuchs, Peter Fuchs, Eta Halberstam, Gala Herman, Laura Korn, Betsie Amalia Kosses, Amalie Kosses, Rafael Koslowsky, Golda Lifshitz, Anyuta Lifshitz, Albert Aharon Mendelsohn, Malka Erika Mendelsohn, Liane Münzer, Eva Münzer, Lenke Shefer Neumann, Veronika Neumann, Eva Neumann, Esfir Pinyakova, Miriam “Mirica” Polak, Polina Ratzenberg, Genrikh Ratmanski, Larisa “Larochka” Ratmanski, Magda Rosenberg, György “Gyurika” Rosenberg, Evi Rosenberg,Ernst Rosenberg, Edith Rosenberg, Magda Rosenberg, Hana “Hanicka” Roubicek, Marina Smargonski, Yvonne Süskind, Nelly Tarszis, Betty Vredenburg, Sara Waas, Daniel Livshitz, Sara Livshitz, Margot Betti Frank, Annelies Marie "Anne" Frank, Helena “Hetty” Abram, Pauline “Paultje” Adelaar,

[dringler]

[dringler]

[dringler]

The reunion

Finally together; feeling alone. Once a friend, now a stranger, I'm missing my home.

[dringler]

Barely

Barely, I am holding, On to better, Things can only, Get better from, Here. How far have I, Come on since We, Met. Expectations of, Self belief.

[dringler]

The Secret Garden

You don’t quite know me as well as you once did; but that’s okay.

I admit sometimes I even struggle to recognise myself anymore nowadays.

Something wild inside me has flourished out of sight, filling every corner of my being.

Meadows of self belief spread relentlessly, glistening with posies made of self love, pride and admiration.

And as I tumble through this uncharted field it occurs to me that I just might have found myself a little more than ever before;

I am the Gardener, and this is my land.

You could be my Horticulturalist.

[dringler]

Brittle Life

Life is dry and splintering, and on wet days I ache.

My roots long for things past and future, but nothing present.

How long will this growing take?

- Dringler

[dringler]

Devotions

My church is between two people,

eternal passion resides within.

 An organ rhythmically beats out hymns of worship,

rousing the chorus to sing of hapless martyrs on missions oflove.

 At the foot of your altar I ask you to bear all I have despiteyour sacredness,

my cries of sacrifice are lost amongst the sudden emptiness of our apse.

 Once your stained glass enlightened me to all colour and vigour of the world surrounding,

you found oh god on my lips as our bodies became one in spirit.

 Now I am left in ruins recanting ancient psalms of former ill-founded beliefs.

 From the eaves of my soul my one last amen resonates;

Deliver me from this sacrilege.

- Dringler

[dringler]

Good god I need a social group soon.

[dringler]

XIII.II.MMVX

I've been whispering to myself all day, and gradually bringing words to audibility in preparation. I want to talk to someone but I don't know who. My family are not supportive of want I want and need, and my boyfriend while either be relieved or heartbroken. My best friend will be fantastic, but I just can't say the words because they terrify me.

I need some time to myself. I am not entirely well, nor am I entirely ill. I am lost. I don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I'm repeated hitting my head against a wall and getting no where despite putting all my energy into it, even though on the surface it looks like I'm doing sweet nothing. I'm sick of being paralysed. I have this vibrant self within me wanting to live my life, and my heavy outer self and stubbornness is holding it in. I want to be healthy, and eat because I enjoy the food, not because I'm stressed. I want to write and do watercolours and be in cool sunshine. I want to take more pride in myself, in my appearance. I want to laugh and love and most importantly live my life. I'm living the life I supposedly have to live at the moment in order to one day have a life I enjoy. I cannot wait.

I have become inward and selfish. Not intentionally but through desperation. I want to survive myself and be happy instead of trying to be happy. I feel as if I'm constantly draining myself and the people and resources around me to prop myself up for short periods of time only to crash into desperation again. I don't want to burden these good loving people and yet I do on the daily. 

I think I need to break away from everything and finally do it for myself, by myself for a while. I don't even know if that will work, but I need to break this eternal cycle of sadness and rise out of my own ashes. 

[dringler]

Feelin' cute.

[dringler]

Distant Bird Song. Empty Nest.