#Downey: indeed and now you get one more

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

‘Did you tell the Watch about the argument between Lucan and his father?’ Downey asks. 

‘No, I didn’t. Edna didn’t either. They’re very in love, she and Lucan, and so she didn’t want him getting in trouble. In case the Watch thought he did it.’ 

‘And did he?’ 

Matty tilts her head, ‘What a question, sir. Anyway, I thought that’s what you were doing. Solving it. Then blackmailing your sister or whatever it is you posh nobs get up to and call it being a family.’ 

‘I like your mind, Miss Yuen, but I recommend you guard that tongue of yours. It’s liable to get you into trouble.’ He swings open the door with a smile. ‘I bid you good day. Let me know how things work out.’ 

I love Downey and the daughter he’s decided to adopt because she’s got an attitude problem and 100% would call someone a scag

[bestiesenpai]

sukuna bridgerton au

If you get mad at me for this then you’re no fun, he’s a little ooc in this but im world building! I intend to write more! Mini blurbs/fics and build a whole universe! Gosh! Tried to be accurate to regency era stuff but also took liberty with some things 6k words

part two — part three -- part four

Femme reader, you’re a proper young miss aint ya kekw

You are perfect. The Queen's diamond of the season and someone everyone knew by name. There is nothing you have not been prepared for, no social setting that you are unable to make your own. Since you were born your parents had instilled every rule in society onto you, every skill a young lady should have and even some men have as well, to cover every possible avenue.

Perfect indeed, with not only needlework and the pianoforte, but you spoke more than one language and were delightfully decent at drawing. Learning the harp and more advanced bookkeeping skills were on your current roster, the governess keeping not only you but your siblings busy before the beginning of all the balls and suitors calling for your attention.

“(Y/N), there are a great deal of callers outside waiting for your attention.” Your mother debriefed you at the start of the day, after having the maids dress you to her exact specifications. “You remember what I taught you, yes?”

“Yes. Be courteous and make sure to smile, but not too much or they might get the wrong idea. I shouldn’t appear to know too much about one subject, lest they get discouraged from speaking.”

“Perfect.” Snapping her fingers happily, your mother put a hand on your shoulder and sighed, smoothing down the sleeve of your dress. “I am so proud of the person you’ve become, (Y/N). I hope you know that.”

“I do, mother.” Hugging her tightly, you steeled your nerves. She had done the best possible for you your whole life to ensure you would be ready for the society you live in and to hopefully elevate your station in life, one that could afford you even more comfort than you had now.

“Bring the first one in.” Your father announced, ushering the two of you to come to a stand as the doors were opened and the first gentleman of the day came in, a modest but endearing bouquet of flowers in his hands. Making sure to curtsy immediately, you welcomed him in and brought him to the sofas where a proper conversation could be had.

And that went on for ages, one after the other, until you feared your voice would go hoarse from all the talking and fake laughter you had to do. It wasn’t that the men that came to see you were bad in any way, just that you hoped for a bit more excitement upon entering the season. There had yet to be anyone that swept you off your feet, made you wish they stayed just a bit longer and looked at you a bit more.

“Mother, may we stop for today?” You were unable to hold your posture anymore and your back bent considerably, allowing you to relax and look out the window at the sun slowly fading from afternoon to early evening.

“We may. Send the rest away, let them schedule for another time.” Motioning to a footman, your mother conceded to your wishes. “It’s about time for dinner, is it not?”

“Mr. Downey, that old man called upon you?” The next day, a chorus of giggles could be heard in the park from you and your friends. You were recounting all the visitors you had, not sparing a single detail.

“Yes!” You laughed, unable to contain yourself as you strode arm in arm with them around the park lake. “But Father wouldn’t let him step a single toe into the parlor, told him to go down to the alleys he’s usually found in!”

“Oh dear!” Another round of shouts and laughs left the group, boisterous as ever as you all were excited for the upcoming ball at the end of the week being held by the Queen herself. Her royal advisor had seen to it that you were personally handed an invitation at the modiste this morning, letting everyone see the fanfare and the adoration the Queen so had for you.

“(Y/N), you really are Her Majesty’s favorite diamond!” Someone exclaimed, squeezing your hand tightly. “I can’t remember the last time she did something like this!”

“I wonder what it could all mean.” Another girl wonders aloud, making you all come to a stop and think. “I bet there’s some aristocrat in town she wants to impress!”

“Could you imagine!” You jump up slightly, your mind beginning to race. “And me as Her Majesty’s precious diamond at the center…” A flurry of giggles left the group and you began to walk again, chattering excitedly about the future.

The time for the ball came and you were dressed in the finest silks and jewels the modiste had to offer, and a dainty necklace laid on your neck adorned with small diamonds of its own. Butterflies arose in your stomach on the carriage ride over and by the time you arrived you worried about fainting upon standing.

“Stay close.” Your mother tells you, keeping your arm in the crook of hers as you enter the party behind your father, your other siblings behind you as well. Entering the main ballroom, you try not to openly gawk at the grandiosity of it all; there was a large orchestra in the middle of the room, peacocks milling about the garden just outside the open doors and too many servants to count carrying hors d'oeuvres that looked absolutely divine.

“A drink, miss?” One of them approached with a tray of cocktails which you swiftly accepted, eager to fit in with the other patrons. Taking a sip, you were nearly knocked back from the strong bite of alcohol and almost let your composure slip.

“(Y/N).” Your mother squeezed you in warning, never letting the smile slip from her face as her tone conveyed high stress. “Do not mess this up.” And those were her final words to you before you were ushered further into the room.

Quickly righting yourself, you followed your mothers steps in introducing you to everyone and making sure to show you off to eligible bachelors and their families of high titles. Your heart pounded upon meeting earls and marquess’, forcing yourself to not appear too awestruck of a title; appearing perfectly pleased at the information and not showing favor one way or another.

“Time to greet Her Majesty.” Your mother whispered, subtly gesturing to the entourage entering the room and causing quite a stir amongst your fellow partygoers. As she took her seat, you couldn’t help but notice the two empty chairs seated behind the queen and how she looked miffed that one was not being filled upon her arrival.

Milling about so as not to appear too eager, roughly five minutes passed before you made your way over to the queen. The drink you’d been nursing was finally empty and you could feel the burning effects of the alcohol take place, making your face burn and palms sweaty beneath your gloves.

“Your Majesty.” Speaking for the both of you, your mother led you into a curtsy. Standing straight, you let your eyes wander to the chairs, wondering who could be missing from such an event.

“My diamond.” Her Majesty reached out her hand which you instantly took, softly kissing the skin and giving another curtsy.

“Your Majesty.” You responded in kind, giving her a somewhat nervous smile. “This is a beautiful party.” Looking around, you finally let your true feelings show for a moment as you properly soaked it all in. “I am amazed at how you manage to throw such exquisite soirees each season.”

“Oh how you flatter me!” A light chuckle left Her Majesty’s lips and she allowed you to look around a bit more before speaking again. “Tell me, have any suitors caught your eye?”

“Well…” Looking back at your mother, you let out a breathless chuckle. “None have truly captured me, Your Majesty. Some interest me and others vex me, but no one has yet to steal my heart.”

“That is very pleasing.” She grinned, knowing something you did not. “Very pleasing indeed.” Waving over one of her attendants, she whispered something into their ear and off they went as if they had never been there at all. “Take to the floor, my dear, I shall call upon you soon again.”

“Yes, thank you, Your Majesty.” Curtsying again, you and your mother left to go enjoy the party. It wasn’t clear what the Queen had in mind but every time you looked over your shoulder you found her eyes on you and that made you nervous enough to get another drink and not care about the taste.

“Mother, I must use the restroom.” Hardly finished with the glass, you felt an upset in your stomach that couldn’t be ignored. Waiting just enough time for her to excuse you from the group you’d been speaking with, you rushed out of the room and down the hall, thankfully guided by servants to the nearest restroom.

Relieving yourself rather quickly, you were in no hurry to return to the party. This was the first time you were in the palace and your curiosity couldn’t help but get the better of you. Looking over your shoulder a few times, you walked as casually as possible down the hall in the opposite direction. Marveling at the grandeur, you hardly took note of where you were going until a loud thud brought you out of your thoughts. Looking around, you realized you were quite far from the party, the sounds of the orchestra a distant buzz.

“Fuck!” The vulgarity of the word along with its suddenness nearly knocked you to the ground. Grabbing at your necklace, you shuddered at the next few words that came out; this wasn’t proper for a lady to hear at all. Locating the source from an open doorway, you intended on closing it until you caught a glimpse of what was inside.

A completely naked woman was being pinned to a bookshelf by a man with his pants around his thighs, the violent motion of his hips leaving nothing to the imagination. She looked to be in pain, wincing and whining every so often as the man just kept going. He took so little notice of her, in fact, that her head hit the shelves a few times and although she cried out he didn’t falter.

“Fuck!” He yelled again, grabbing the woman's hair and forcing her head to the side. He did finally slow down and straighten up a bit, finally allowing you to see his pink hair. “Fucking whore.” And just like that, the relative slowness was gone and back was this man's brutality. Forcing the woman to walk over to the desk a bit closer to you, you quickly ducked out of the way before you saw something you shouldn’t. It was quiet for a moment and there was a shuffling sound before the door was ripped open further and you couldn't help the shout you let out.

“Who the fuck- oh. Oh?” The man was clearly ready for a fight but upon seeing you, his face changed into a sly smile. He at least had the decency to dress himself, though you kept your eyes trained onto his face and occasionally the ceiling to preserve your modesty. “Well, aren’t you a ravishing creature…come to join the fun?”

“Absolutely not!” Leaping back at his proposition, your face curled in disgust. He laughed loudly, fully taking in your appearance.

“No of course not, why would you? You are a lady, so prim and proper.” He stretched the word out, almost mocking you with the connotation. “You belong at the party, Miss, so run along before someone catches us alone and we’ll be forced to marry.” Raising his hand in goodbye, the man left you, laughter still on his lips as he slammed the door closed.

All but running back to the party, you avoided your mother in favor of going out to the garden with a few friends that were thankfully in attendance; a chance to marvel at the peacocks and performers outside would give you a chance to catch your breath and forget about what you’d just seen.

“Miss (Y/N), the Queen calls for you.” A servant notified you just as the air turned a bit too chilly for your liking. Bidding your friends farewell, you made your way inside. The polite smile on your face dropped immediately at seeing just why the queen summoned you.

“Ah, my diamond.” Her affectionate tone forced the smile right back on your face but your eyes stayed glued to the person behind her. There, dressed in the finest fabrics and with his cravat intricately tied, was the man you’d seen earlier. As he stood at the Queen’s motion, you noticed the freshly pressed pants and shiny boots he had on and the dazzling watch dangling from a chain.

“This is my nephew, you might have heard of him. The Crown Prince, Ryomen Sukuna.” As she spoke, the Queen's voice grew louder, drawing the attention of everyone within earshot and even those that didn’t hear. “I’ve invited him here personally just to meet you.” A small smirk adorned her face as she took in the crowd before her and the stir her words caused. And it grew even bigger upon seeing your face, the horrored expression mistaken for overjoy.

“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss (Y/N).” Sukuna made a show of bowing deeply to you.

“Come, sit down and chat for a while, won’t you?” Her request was truly a demand and you knew better than to hesitate or question it, so you nodded and did as you were told.

Taking a seat, you kept your body rigid and faced straight ahead, not even giving so much as a glimpse to your side where you could tell the Crown Prince was watching you. You knew it wasn’t proper and that people - your mother especially - were watching to see how you two got on, but you couldn’t bear to turn and have a conversation with the man you’d just seen in such an uncouth position.

“It truly is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Sukuna said, a light chuckle on his lips. “Never thought the beauty I saw earlier would end up being the diamond of the season.”

“I believe you’re mistaken! We did not see each other earlier, Your Highness. This is the first time we are meeting.” Turning your head swiftly, you forced a smile onto your face instead of the scowl you wanted to show him.

“Yes, my mistake! Must have been another fair maiden that caught my eye.” Sukuna chuckled, settling into his chair just a bit more. He let a pause hang between you before he spoke again. “Tell me, diamond, do you wish to marry this season?”

“Of course I do.” You nodded, allowing yourself to relax a little as well. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about since I made my debut.”

“And what are you looking for in a husband?”

“I want one that is kind, that is loyal to me and whom I can get along with no matter what. And if he likes the arts such as I do, that would be even better.” An answer that you had rehearsed many times with your mother, the words came out of your mouth smoothly.

“Interesting.” Sukuna nodded, folding his hands over each other. “Now, tell me how you really feel.”

“I-I just did.” Quirking a brow at him, you were unsure why Sukuna required more from you on the matter.

“I can tell those aren’t your real words. Tell me how you truly feel.” His face was neutral but not serious or uncomfortable; he seemed to genuinely want an answer from you.

“I…” It took a while but eventually the thoughts you’d suppressed in favor of your mothers came to the surface and you looked down at your gloved hands. “I want someone I can be myself with, someone I won’t need to put on a mask for. And a husband that can value my privacy and give me my own space.” There was more you wanted to say but you stopped yourself; no use in rambling to the man when you could save it for your diary later.

“That’s good to hear, actually.” His response surprised you and had you turning more towards him.

“Really?” There was a tinge of hope growing inside you, one that said maybe the man from earlier wasn’t who he truly was.

“Yes. I’ll need a wife that can leave me the hell alone.” And with that, the tinge died out and your face fell.

“Wh-what?”

“Yes, as you will undoubtedly hear about later I enjoy some rather…unconventional pastimes and leisurely activities and if we are to be wed I’ll take great joy in the fact that you won’t interfere with that.”

“But I-”

“Oh don’t worry, Miss (Y/N), I will give you all the babies you desire if you so wish, but just know my heart will never belong to just one woman. It’s not the way royalty does it, I’m sure you can understand.” Giving you a tight lipped and condescending smile, Sukuna stood from his chair and excused himself, mentioning something about getting the two of you a drink.

“So, what do you think of my nephew?” The Queen asked when he was out of earshot, turning slightly in her chair to look at you.

“He- he is a good conversationalist.” You forced the words out, hoping that the Queen wouldn’t be able to pick up on how your eyes were growing misty despite your best efforts to blink the tears away. “I quite enjoyed some of the ideas he’s shared with me.”

“Wonderful, darling.” There was a tension in the air, like she knew what had happened between the two of you. But she chose not to say anything, instead turning back around as the orchestra played the next song. “Sukuna.” She caught him as he came back, two glasses in hand.

“Yes?” His eyes flicked to you for a moment.

“Dance with Miss (Y/N), will you? I want her to enjoy the party.” The tension in the air was back and Sukuna nodded and swiftly put the glasses down. Standing before you, he offered you his hand.

“Right this way.”

“Of course.” Inhaling sharply, you forced your feelings down and took his hand, letting him lead you to the dance floor. As the song began to start up, you could feel the eyes on you, watching your every move with the Prince and the chemistry you had when dancing.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Sukuna said quietly, his hands resting on your upper back a moment before taking a few steps. “I simply want you to know the truth if you accept the proposal.”

You didn’t respond to him, letting the words soak in. In the moment it had seemed almost cruel that he had spoken to you like that, said those things and dismissed your feelings, hopes and dreams, but thinking about it gave you another perspective. You knew many men in town that had affairs and secret lovers that would never admit it but here was a man that was willing to be honest with you. A man that had no obligation to spare your feelings or protect them.

“Why did you even agree to come then, if that is how you truly feel about marriage?” You finally spoke, looking into his eyes.

“You know as well as I do that we have a responsibility to do this, to get married and play these silly societal games. When my aunt called me I had no choice but to come, you can’t exactly say no to the woman. And I figured why not meet her precious diamond and see what she had to offer, see if I could build the life the world expects of me with her.”

“And what is your verdict?” Sukuna spun you around as you asked and your head laid briefly on his shoulder, catching the scent of his perfume before you were twirled away again.

“I think you’d make a lovely bride, Miss (Y/N). There may be some hardships but I believe we could learn to be happy with each other and our arrangements.” Spinning you a few more times, Sukuna gently helped you to a stop. “I ask you to be aware of what the Queen will ask you soon, what I will be asking you soon. You can always say no.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.” As the dance ended, you curtseyed and excused yourself. Slinking away to the refreshments table, you had nary a chance to sip some lemonade before a few more men approached, asking to write in your dance card.

As the night wore on, you danced with many more suitors and eligible young men about town, some that had already called on you and others that were waiting their turn. Some of them were dukes and earls and even a marquess came to you, but none held as high a title as Sukuna did. And with your parents eyes on you, you knew that was what mattered the most.

Going through everyone in your mind, there wasn’t a doubt that some would definitely be better matches for you than Sukuna in the realms of compatibility and chemistry but none would be as wise a choice as he was. Marrying a crown prince of all people would solidify your station in life forever; you and your family would want for nothing and you’d never have to worry about needing to follow the latest trends in fashion because you would be the one setting them.

“His Highness Prince Sukuna surely took a liking to you tonight.” Your mother was alight on the carriage ride home, fanning herself ardently. “Why, I do believe the Queen intends on you to be married before the season is over!”

“From a baroness to a princess, how marvelous that would be!” Unable to stop his excitement either, your father chimed in. It seemed they had already accepted the Prince's proposal on your behalf even though it hadn’t come yet. You didn’t have the heart to tell them that he wasn’t really a good fit for you, that you worried you’d never be truly happy in the marriage and you’d always feel less than when it came to how he felt about you.

“Delightful indeed.” Was what you said instead, allowing your parents to revel in this moment and trying to convince yourself that it couldn’t be that bad to marry a prince, especially if it meant that one day you’d be a queen.

May 14

Diary, I fear that I won’t be able to back out of this arrangement even if I say no to it like Sukuna said I could. If I say no, I know I will have many other suitors knocking at my door but none as prestigious as he is and I can’t bear to possibly face the disappointment of my family if I deny them this great opportunity.

I know I wouldn’t be the first or the last to enter into a marriage like this but I had truly hoped that I could have escaped that fate and found real love, true love! It’s rare but a girl can dream, especially one named as the Queens diamond. You’d think I’d have more time to decide on who to marry!

I suppose I have no choice but to say yes to this, don’t I? Sukuna said he would give me my privacy, so I can at least continue to write here without fear of being judged. I just wonder what the life of a princess will entail and how many new rules will I be forced to learn?

Here's hoping that we can at least grow to have a liking for each other over time, but I know better than to wait around for love.

XX

It was a few days after the ball before you heard word from either Sukuna or the Queen. You knew it was coming but the anxiety of waiting had you pouring too much energy into the other men that called you.

“A visitor for Miss (Y/N) has arrived.” It was announced one afternoon, immediately kicking your heart into overdrive. It was a good thing you had felt the need to dress a little nicer today as your visitor presented himself, none other than the prince.

“Your Highness!” Your mother exclaimed, overjoyed and forcing your siblings to stand as well and greet him. They all bowed or curtseyed, some too young to understand exactly who they were greeting.

“Good day to you all.” Sukuna gave a small bow in return, eyeing up your family before turning to you. “Miss (Y/N), I was hoping we might promenade today around the park? The weather is quite lovely and there are a fair amount of swans out there I’m told.” His offer surprised you, you were sure he was going to ask for your hand right then and there.

“That would be lovely.” You nodded, looking back at your mother who would no doubt chaperone this outing. “Allow me to grab my purse and a shawl.” Excusing yourself, it took no less than five minutes for you to be ready and heading out the house with Sukuna by your side, your entire family not but five feet behind you.

“I’m surprised you called upon me today.” You said upon reaching the park, waving to a few friends who were also on dates. “I was certain that the next time I saw you there would be a ring put upon my finger.”

“Young Miss, please have more faith in me. I thought it only right to court you as the others have, to see if we are truly to be a good match or not.” Sukuna put a hand over his heart in jest.

“Was that your idea or the Queens?”

“I’ll be honest it was her idea, but I have no problem going along with it. It’s only right that we get to know each other a bit more before we are wed.”

“You talk so certainly that I’ll say yes! Who said I wanted to marry you?” His arrogance was starting to annoy you, and the fact that he couldn’t even feign that he was the one interested in learning more about you irritated you to no end.

“Please, would you even think of saying no?” Sukuna quirked a brow at you as you came to a stop to admire a pair of swans. “I am the best match you have to make, one that would elevate your status so highly it would make your head spin. And beside…” He trailed off, looking around at the people in the park. “This sorry lot you associate with aren’t exactly highbrow to begin with.”

“That’s enough!” You shouted, taking a step back from him. A few curious looks were sent your way and you could see your mother start to approach from the corner of your eye before your father stopped her. “Do not dare speak of my friends in such a manner. What would you know of being highbrow anyway, what with the pastimes you partake in!”

“Miss (Y/N), I did not mean to upset you.” Sukuna spoke a little louder for the inquiring minds around you. “Please accept my apology.” And he bowed his head deeply in a show of submission.

“Do not mock me.” You hissed, crossing your arms and turning back to the lake. “I can’t believe I thought you could be a real gentleman.”

“Oh, but I can be.” Resuming his previous position, Sukuna squared his shoulders.

“Only when others are watching though, right?” You began walking again, letting Sukuna fall into step beside you. As a relative quiet fell over you two, you looked at everyone else walking about, seemingly so happy with their matches. A pang of jealousy hit you upon seeing a group of your girl friends out with their matches, laughing happily and getting to enjoy a true love match instead of whatever you were stuck in now.

There was little conversation between the two of you, but to the outside world it looked as if you were just taking a quiet stroll and letting the sounds of nature surround you. Anyone looking in would think that you’re content just being in each other's presence and don’t need words to communicate.

“Let’s stop at a cafe, I’m parched.” You announced, suddenly spotting the building across the street.

“Yes, let's.” Sukuna agreed immediately, following your lead. Opening the door for you and your family, Sukuna made a show of buying everyone something, even your father. With your family scattered about the shop, you and Sukuna took a seat by the window, a place where everyone could walk by and see you together.

“How do you like your parfait?” He asked, sipping on the plain coffee he got himself. Your mother insisted he get a croissant as well and he pulled a piece off and ate it.

“It’s delicious.” With fresh in season fruit throughout, it was a sweet treat you didn’t know you’d been craving. “Thank you.”

“Tell me what it is you like to do for fun.” Leaning back in his chair, Sukuna peered over his glass at you. You felt the urge to correct him on his posture but held back, knowing he would probably just laugh at you.

“I’ve recently taken up the harp and I quite enjoy it, it can be such a calming instrument. I also enjoy the pianoforte, though recently I’ve taken up reading a new book.”

“Reading is quite boring, is it not?” Sukuna smirked at you, enjoying how you fought to keep your expression neutral. “I can’t remember the last time I read.”

“I’m surprised you can read at all.” You rolled your eyes, finding small gratification in how he laughed.

“Me too!” Taking a hearty bite out of his pastry, Sukuna grinned at you, showing the sharp edge of his canines. “I think I’ll like having you as a wife.”

“You shouldn’t be so confident in my acceptance of your proposal, Your Highness.” With a warning tilt to your voice, you took a sip of tea. “I can very well say no to your whole courtship right now and be done with it.”

“But you and I both know you won’t. You wouldn't want to risk the ire of the Queen or your family. And neither would I, Miss (Y/N). I’m tired of being hounded to find a wife and you are the easiest decision ever made for me.”

“You could at least pretend you’re interested in me.” He had a point, you knew little people that went against what the Queen wanted and weren’t shunned for it. There were a great deal of pros outweighing the cons in marrying Sukuna from an economical point of view, but could you find it in you to put your heart aside?

“Trust me, I am plenty interested in you.” His gaze fell downwards and your face immediately started to burn.

“Don’t make me throw my tea on you.” You glared sharply at Sukuna, your tone daring him to continue and for his sake he didn’t and his eyes returned to yours.

“My apologies, Miss. Just admiring a beauty before me.” That statement made a passing few girls giggle and swoon to themselves and you could hardly hold back another eye roll.

Your outing was done shortly after your trip to the cafe with your youngest siblings complaining they were tired. The Prince escorted you home, bowing to you once more and waiting until you were inside before turning and leaving.

“Tell me what that outburst was at the park.” Your mother descended on you the second she got, following you up the stairs to your bedroom.

“The Prince isn’t as fine and dandy as you think he is, he called the ton a bunch of idiots.” You didn’t bother keeping your voice down as you walked, just the thought of what he’d said upset you all over again.

“Why, he is a Prince! Of course we will be simple to him, he is used to so much more!” She argued, throwing her arms up in exasperation. “He meant no harm, I’m sure.”

“Mother.” Turning to face her before opening your door, you sighed upon making eye contact. “I wish I could tell you even half of the things I learned about him…the Prince is not the man you think he is.” You repeated your previous statement; your lip caught between your teeth as you debated telling her more. “I don’t know if I can marry him.” The words made your mother gasp in horror and push a hand over your mouth.

“(Y/N), please tell me you don’t mean it. Please tell me you are just playing a sick joke.” She couldn’t bear to hear you say otherwise. You stared at each other, both of you pleading for different things. The heartbreak in her eyes was evident and she took a step back and composed herself. “V-very well, if that is how you feel I will not force you.”

“Mother…” Your voice trailed off at how downtrodden she looked, it nearly brought you to tears.

“No, please do not say any more. I-I need time to come to terms with this.” Smoothing down her dress, she looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was eavesdropping. The silence allowed for the noises of others in the house to be heard; two brothers fighting over chess, a sister playing the piano. “I will be in the sun room should you need me.”

She left without consequence, calling for a maid to bring her some lavender tea. Finally entering your room, your body pushed the door closed and you sank onto the floor, letting your head fall into your hands. This wasn’t what you wanted to happen in the slightest and now just the prospect of rejecting his proposal was putting immense guilt onto you. Seeing your mother so hurt, imagining the looks on your siblings faces and what your father could possibly say were all too much for you.

May 18

I fear I have made a grave error. It wasn’t my intention to hurt my mother but just the idea of me not marrying a prince was enough to make her beside herself with grief, she was hardly able to look at me during dinner. And I know she’s told father because he was the same way!

Am I really taking away my family’s happiness this much? Am I being selfish by refusing? I think I’m learning now that a marriage, especially this one, is not just between two people. There’s so many others that it affects!

I think I’ll reconsider my rejection - after all, not many can say they were named the diamond and married a crown prince their first season out. I know Sukuna will give me my space if I request and not question me on things…is this potential life worth giving up my hopes of love?

I truly hope it is.

XX

At breakfast the next morning you informed your parents of the change of heart and the sullen mood that was looming over them was washed away in an instance.

“I knew you would come to your senses, girl.” Patting you gently on the shoulder, your father smiled big. “It’s easy to get swept up in nerves during this whole thing but I’m glad you’ve thought about how this marriage will be good for you - for all of us.”

Your siblings were thankfully none the wiser to what had transpired and they begged to be informed. Ignoring them, your mother reached for your hand across the table and squeezed it.

“We must go to the modiste later.”

“What for?” You sent her a curious look, you’d just been there the other day for a fitting!

“For your wedding dress.”

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Something beautiful

One week and some change into his presidency, the changeover being a matter of arbitrary administration timing and in fact having occurred already by the time you hear this, Samuel Vimes has appointed a special committee to undertake a study of . . . well, call it artistic expression in Ankh-Morpork generally, and perhaps of the government's relationship to it in particular, but don't let that fool you into thinking he wants a memo making "appropriate recommendations."

Of course, the committee already exists, although it started life as the Moral Standards in Art Committee under Lord Vetinari's reign. In the opinion of several committee members, changing the committee's nomenclature without substantive changes to its purpose amounts to whitewashing history, and to a certain extent they are correct, although in fact as far as the _real_ committee's capacity to make substantiative recommendations it is by now a question whether it could make any worse recommendations than the ones it used to make. And that's a sad thing to say, because there are at least two of the committee members who would say that the committee used to make almost no recommendations at all, what it used to do instead being a process Vetinari once, to the committee's complete confusion, compared to "churning butter." The committee these days does make a few recommendations, now and then, and indeed they make those recommendations _well_, but this is the product of a kind of committee necrophilia in which the committee does not so much ask itself as it in fact is tasked with asking itself: well, do we really want to ask ourselves that question again?

Some of those recommendations are almost never acted on. In the case of Vetinari's comparison, a few are in fact churned. But the few that are acted on generally turn out to be remarkably positive developments, almost as if some divine intervention is being brought to bear on the city's cultural life, and this gives people like Lord Downey a warm feeling. Downey is in fact the chair of the committee. He was chosen by Vetinari in part because he has a background in law and in part because that background is irrelevant to any of the actual tasks that Downey has performed in his tenure at the helm of the MSA, and also because he has the requisite social connections to make people like his decisions about what is or is not a good idea. People like an honest broker; they hate a broker who offers nothing but a raw deal. So Downey is a well-loved individual.

Meanwhile, Ankh-Morpork's Department of Art has been shunted back into a wing of the Opera House, the Winged Monkeys having apparently been discarded by some later director who didn't see their appeal.

It's all so normal. I'm getting the feeling I'm reading a report, one where everything is ok and people are reporting that everything is ok.

And why shouldn't it be? It's not as though Vetinari was an evil tyrant or anything. He was a baron, and even a baron isn't really that powerful, when you get right down to it. Vetinari couldn't even stop the major landowners from trucking in food that contained rat tails. He couldn't do much of anything, really, that some halfway competent despot wouldn't be able to do, because he was a little old man who wasn't much of an anything himself, only a title.

In fact, the reason Vetinari was so popular, was that he had to cede most of the power to the merchants and the guild masters. Those were the people he had to deal with every day. And that was a pretty good thing, because it meant they stayed busy taking care of things.

So the idea that Vetinari would be a tyrannical god-king or even a reasonable king or mayor -- well, that's funny. He was just a little old man who needed his morning coffee or his glass of red wine as much as you or I do, only more so. And he would drink his coffee, and he would order his red wine, and like everyone else who lived in the city, he would watch the walls of Ankh-Morpork and see the city bustling and smoking like a teapot under pressure.

It's not as though anything was going to break the city, not as long as it stayed within its very well-defined parameters. And if it wasn't going to break the city then it wasn't going to disrupt the order of things, which is to say the order of the last few centuries.

The last few centuries! That sounds wrong, doesn't it? Like there's a place where the history goes to die. But that's exactly what Ankh-Morpork is, or has always been. Like a vast old cathedral, built in a period when people still believed in god, but now it's merely a fabled monument, so big that we don't even notice that it's still there. The people who are inside of it are no different from the people who believe in the cathedral, or perhaps even worse, because they think they're something else, like gods or as we say around here, "gods."

They live inside it, and the whole thing is really a game. A game, but a special game, the kind of game you can only play when you're really bored. Ankh-Morpork has all kinds of games. It has a lot of people who specialize in the game of cheating the tax man. It has a lot of people who specialize in the game of monkeying around with big machines. It has a lot of people who specialize in putting people in jail. And then there are the people who specialize in pranks and magic tricks.

They live inside Ankh-Morpork, where the games are, but not outside, where everything else is. One thing that's funny about a city that nobody visits is that it always pretends it has visitors, and one thing that's funny about a game that nobody plays is that it's always actively being played. The city loves and needs the games, and the games pay back with the most important thing that a city needs: a sense of purpose.

People don't play when they know they're being watched. They don't play when everything they do has been done by someone else before. And they don't need to, because it's all been done, right down to the giant redwoods in the industrial district and the swarms of wasps over their doors.

And it's a funny thing to ask whether the games are being played -- not by the people inside the city, but by the people outside it. Because a city is always a place where people live. It's a place they live in, and work in, and visit, and leave, and all the other things you do with a place. Even a city like Ankh-Morpork, which is just a collection of games, has people who live in it, and people who work in it, and in their own ways, people who visit it. Ankh-Morpork doesn't have to be visited -- the city will visit you, or maybe you'll be sent to it, and then you'll know, you'll say, "I'm in Ankh-Morpork."

So a city can have all kinds of people in it, and play all kinds of games, and they all fit right into the game that Ankh-Morpork plays.

And there's one thing about games, they always have rules. Some of them may change, but if you take all the games in Ankh-Morpork, all of the games people play, and look at them all, you'll find that there are common rules that make them what they are.

And if the city is a place where people live, and if its inhabitants are playing a game, and if the game that they're playing has its own rules, then it is, in some fundamental sense, a place of power. Not a lot of power, but some, like the ability to put an end to the games. And it's not as though you could ever do that, is it? No, the very thought would be absurd, as absurd as the thought that there would ever be more than one king or one god or one army.

And it's not as though the people who live in a place like Ankh-Morpork could ever really do anything about that, is it? No, of course not. The people who play the games live in the city, and the city tells the games what to do. The people who live in the city, they make the city real.

[themidnightcrimson]

Jealousy, Jealousy. | e. olsen

summary: in which a disrespectful interviewer causes lizzie to feel the need to show you just who you belong to.

warnings: top!lizzie, jealousy (obvi), brief arguing, oral, fingering, strap-on (all r receiving bc you are a bottom here and irl, deal with it), overstimulation, ooshy gooshy pussy wussy tingz, straight up porn

this post is for 18+ only. minors: do not interact.

masterlist.

The interview had been going smoothly so far. The woman had only stuck to questions about the movie. You and Lizzie's publicists had well warned all the interviewers that day to not ask anything related to your relationship. If they weren't told to not ask, all your interviews would consist of them invading your privacy. It was hard having a relationship in the public eye, but most of the interviewers had been respectful.

Except this one.

She was the last interviewer of the day, and while her questions were rather boring, you were grateful they weren't too deep and didn’t required too much cognitive thought. You didn't think you could answer one more question about how you get into character, or even worse, Downey's luxury trailer that everyone was asking every member of the cast about.

When the woman looked to you and said, "Now y/n, I've been meaning to ask you something very important," you gritted your teeth and braced for her to ask about you and Lizzie's relationship. Lizzie, who was sat right beside you, even quietly sighed in expectance of the same thing. To your surprise, she asked something much worse. "Please tell me how you manage to squeeze into that tight suit."

Your eyebrows raised in shock. The suit your character wore was a very form-fitting one, tight indeed. You opened your mouth to answer, but she added, "I mean, don't get me wrong. None of us are complaining. If we're really being honest here," she leaned forward and placed her notecards over her mouth to playfully whisper, "It's really the only reason I go watch these movies."

She leaned away from you and laughed, and you politely laughed with her, feeling your cheeks burn red. You couldn't help yourself--you stole a glance to Lizzie. She was wearing a loose white button-up with the first few buttons open, the collar flared casually at her shoulders. Her dirty blonde hair rested in a wave down her chest, and you noticed the way she was pursing her lips and squinting at the interviewer as if expecting her to explain herself.

You quickly glanced away. "Um... well, they tailor the suit to fit me—the wonderful heads of the costume department work really hard to—"

The interviewer bluntly interrupted you, "You look incredibly sexy in all these movies. I mean, just sitting here in front of you all I can picture is that suit and, wow!" She giggled rather tackily and fanned herself with the notecards as if she was overheating.

You weren't good with these kinds of situations, so you just opted to match her energy to not come off as rude. You laughed and rubbed your sweaty palms over the pants of your jumpsuit before crossing your legs. "Well, thank you. I, um, really appreciate it."

With another glance to Lizzie, you noticed her giving a smile that only you could realize was fake. She was looking off towards the camera, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. You could tell she was trying to not look too irritated.

"Now, I haven't seen the movie yet," the interviewer continued, "And I know you can't tell us much about it, but I have been seeing a lot of discourse online about a possible nude scene?"

Your face went bright red at such a forward question, and Lizzie cleared her throat, putting her chin in her hand and staring hard at the interviewer with nothing but daggers in her eyes. She was biting her lip to keep from sassing off, and you almost wished she would so that you didn't have to answer the question.

"Well, this is a Marvel movie, so I think that pretty much answers the question," you awkwardly laughed, feeling like all the air had gone out of the room. Lizzie's anger was basically radiating off her, and she wasn't even trying to hide it anymore, basically scowling at the clueless woman.

"Ugh!" the interviewer sighed, "I was really hoping it was true."

You tightened your lips and simply nodded, also becoming irritated, but mostly nervous because you felt you could basically hear Lizzie's thoughts.

"Very sorry to disappoint," you said as politely as you could, clasping your palms together.

Lizzie licked her lips and leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms and legs, obviously deciding to tune out the rest of the interview. You answered the rest of her questions as best you could, even having to answer for Lizzie a few times because you knew if Lizzie opened her mouth, nothing but insults would come out.

+

The ride home was, as expected, quiet. They usually were after those long press days when you had spoken so much all day that you reveled in just existing wordlessly next to one another in peaceful quiet. Lizzie held your hand as she drove the both of you home, but you could tell she was still mad. It seemed like she was mad at you, actually, which you felt she had no reason to be. Not wanting to get her all angry while she was driving, you waited until you arrived home to ask her about it.

Lizzie tossed her car keys onto the entrance table and immediately went into the kitchen. You set your bag down and followed her, watching her reach into the wine cabinet and take out a bottle and a glass.

"Don't tell me you're mad at me," you started off hot, crossing your arms. She was turned away from you as she wordlessly poured herself a glass of wine. "Really? The silent treatment?"

Lizzie brought the glass towards her mouth before pausing to sigh. "I don't wanna talk about it." Her voice was deeper than usual, monotonous and bitter.

You ignored her request. "How am I supposed to control what people say to me? I'm not God."

Lizzie turned towards you just to roll her eyes. "Don't be dramatic."

"Me being dramatic?" you scoffed. "You're taking your anger out on me for something that isn't my fault."

"Well maybe I wouldn't be so angry if you hadn't flirted back with her," she snapped before taking a heavy sip of her wine.

Your eyes widened at her accusation. Stomping towards you, you took the glass right out of her mouth and set it down on the counter. She wiped away the wine that had spilled on her lips and stared vehemently down at you.

"Lizzie, how was I flirting back with her?" you asked her calmly, not wanting to get into your first screaming match with her. You could tell she was upset, and this was the first time something like this happened.

Lizzie was not up for matching your calmness. "Thank youuuu, I appreciate it so muchhhhh," she mocked what you had said in the interview in a high-pitched tone while batting her eyelashes. "Oh, I'm so sorry to disappoint youuuu, awww." She rolled her eyes and walked away from you.

Your appalled eyes followed her. "I did not say it like that!"

"You did," she muttered as she went up the stairs. You quickly followed right behind her, where she led you into the bedroom.

She went to the mirror in front of the dresser and started pulling off her rings and earrings, setting them down on top of the wooden surface. You kicked your heels off and tossed them in the corner. "You're being ridiculous," you mumbled as you took your own jewelry off and set it on the nightstand.

"So now I'm ridiculous?" Lizzie echoed you as she started to unbutton her blouse in front of the mirror, discreetly watching you in it.

"That's what I said," you snapped, slamming your necklace down on the nightstand and looking at her through the mirror.

"You know what?!" Lizzie exclaimed once her shirt was all the way unbuttoned, turning around to look at you. You could see her black bra and toned stomach through the opening in her shirt. She started to undo the button of her black pants as she exclaimed, "I am SO sorry for not liking the thought of another person thinking about you naked."

"Lizzie, that's just something you're gonna have to fucking deal with!" you yelled right back at her as you reached behind to undo your jumpsuit, struggling to reach the zipper at the top. "I mean, have you SEEN the shit people write about you on Tumblr?!"

Lizzie kicked her pants off and sighed, watching you struggle with your jumpsuit. It was true, after all. Maybe she was being irrational. Maybe her anger made her remember your responses to the interviewer's outrageous questions as something they were not.

After watching you struggle, she scoffed and came closer to you, turning you around sharply. You stumbled slightly under the force of her hand, scoffing right back at her as she moved your hair away from your back and gently undid the zipper of your suit.

"She knew not to talk about our relationship, which means she knew we were together, which means she blatantly disrespected that right in front of me," Lizzie said quietly, pulling your zipper all the way down to your lower back before sliding the silky fabric off your shoulders and letting it fall to the floor, revealing just your lacy underwear. It just so happened to be a pair she picked out for you recently, and seeing that you chose to wear them that day was enough to make her feel like an asshole.

You slowly turned around to stare up at her from under your brows. "You're really going to let some bimbo get you all riled up?"

Lizzie pursed her lips and raked her eyes over your figure. You reached up and pulled her blouse off her, pushing her hair behind her shoulders so you could wrap your arms around them. She slid her arms around your torso and sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry," she whispered, a shadow of a smile crossing her lips.

"You should be," you playfully jested as her hands roamed over your ass, her thumbs hooking the hem of your panties and tugging them downwards.

A smirk glowed on her face as she bit the inside of her cheek, eyes falling down your figure. "I'm the one who gets to see you naked," she whispered as she began to tug your panties farther down over your thighs. She stepped closer to you, moving you towards the bed until your ass pressed against it. With a hand to your chest, she slowly pushed you onto the bed and stood between your legs, pulling your underwear down your knees while her dark eyes drank in the sight of you. "Do you think she believes she could fuck you better than I can?"

The initial smile on your face faded. "Lizzie, don't go in circles with me. You said you were sorry, so can we please stop talking about—"

Your panties dropped to the floor, and she harshly jerked your legs wide open. The force cut your sentence off with a quick exhalation of breath, but you still shot her daggers anyway.

"I want you to answer me," she lulled, pressing her palms flat on your knees and gliding them down to your inner thighs. "Do you think she could fuck you better than I can?" Her voice lowered seriously, which brought a shiver in your spine.

You sat up on your elbows. "Lizzie, no."

Instantly, she pushed you back down much harder than the first time. Your breath gasped from your lungs as your back hit the mattress, and through your peripheral vision you watched Lizzie lower to the ground. Raising your head, your eyes met hers. Her face was hovering between your thighs, arms laying flat on your hips so that her hands could reach the handles of your waist and squeeze.

"We'll see how you really feel once I'm done with you," she husked before dropping her head to press a kiss to your inner thigh. You jolted at the feeling, taking a deep breath as she started to ferociously kiss and bite your tender flesh. Her fingertips dug into your waist as her mouth moved further upwards, but instead of moving to where you were growing needy for her, she skipped a few kisses across your mound before attaching to your other inner thigh.

Your breathing grew heavy as Lizzie continued this torture until finally she rose up a bit and centered her mouth right above your core. She opened her mouth and fanned her warm breath over you, causing you to shiver.

"Lizzie," you breathed, looking down at her dreadfully. She raised her eyebrows impishly before letting her tongue lick a line over the left side of your slit, getting all but what you wanted. She administered the same torture to the right side, and her tongue being so close to your area that was growing wetter and wetter was driving you crazy. Just her warm breath fanning on your clit was killing you.

"Stop teasing!" you whined quietly, pouting and bucking your hips up towards her face. She quickly pressed your hips back down onto the mattress and shot you a threatening glare.

Finally, she pressed her tongue into your clit firmly. "Oh," you sighed, your head falling back onto the mattress as she drew long strides up your slit with your tongue, collecting all your wetness. Lizzie moaned at the taste of you, her own breaths getting heavier. She focused on your clit, giving it soft kitten licks with the tip of her tongue. Your knees bent up around her, feet planting on her shoulders for support.

Her hands slid to your thighs and braced them around her head as she devoured you. Your juices were mixing with her saliva and coating all your surrounding skin. When her tongue, warm and thick, slid to your entrance and pressed inside, the gasp that struck from your throat into the air was inevitable. She pressed her tongue as far inside you as possible, opening her jaws wide to allow a deeper angle. Her tongue lapped around your walls, soaking itself in your cum.

"Lizzie," you whined, hands finding her soft hair and tangling themselves in it. Your hips were grinding up against her face now, and when her fingers moved down to rub your clit simultaneously, the room started to spin.

The air grew thick and heavy as she pleasured you, keeping your arching hips as still as she could with one hand. You nearly cried when her tongue slid out of you and her fingers moved away, but she was only switching positions. Now, her lips were sucking onto your clit, and her two middle fingers dove into you, jutting so hard that her knuckles slammed against you. Her fingertips curled instantly upon their arrival inside, hitting your g-spot perfectly.

"Fuck!" you whined, back arching off the bed as she began thrusting her fingers in and out of your pussy. The sounds of your wetness filled the room, along with your soft moans and Lizzie's occasional grunt. When a third finger was pushed inside of you, you could feel a swirling pressure in the pit of your stomach. You ground your hips into her, taking all that she was giving you. Right when you were on the precipice, Lizzie stood up and wiped her mouth, sucking your juice off her fingers until they were clean.

The absence of her mouth and fingers left you feeling empty and agitated. You whined and covered your face with your hands, letting your legs fall against the side of the bed. "Please," you begged, removing your hands and opening your eyes to see that Lizzie was reaching into the closet. You sat up on your elbows, watching her as she pulled a harness over her legs, a long and thick dildo swinging from her crotch. She turned to you, her hair cascading over her shoulder as she sauntered towards you with her strap in her hand.

"If I can't show her that you're mine," she began, and while the mention of the interviewer brought you more dread, you felt excitement within you when she slid an arm under you and pulled you sharply so that your ass was hanging off the very edge of the bed. She stood upright and looked down to align her strap with your entrance, nearly seething through her lower teeth as she finished, "I'll show you."

Lizzie's strap slid inside your wet and already throbbing hole to the very hilt, filling you up entirely inside. Your mouth flew open, fists grabbing at the sheets as she began jackhammering into you. Your legs lifted weakly around her, and she grabbed hold of your ankles and lifted them to her shoulders so that your legs were straight up in the air. The angle allowed her to push deeper inside you, her strap stretching your walls out around it. You were seeing stars as she pounded you, your entire body moving along with her motions.

"You're mine and no one else's," Lizzie grunted in punctuation to her thrusts, clenching her teeth and watching the way your face contorted in pleasure. "I get to fuck you. It's my cock that fucks you—no one else's." She let out a shaky breath and started to slam faster into you. "You're mine and so is this pussy. Just look how wet you are for me."

Indeed, your slick had coated the inside of your thighs and was now rubbing off on hers, shiny threads clinging to her strap each time it slid out before diving back in again. As if she couldn't torture you anymore, her fingers found your burning clit and rubbed it.

Your ankles hooked around her neck, knees squeezing shut as you became overstimulated. There was so much pressure inside you that you felt as if you could cum, but she had you stuck right on the edge. She shoved your knees apart again, grabbing your hips and slamming them towards you. She pushed you back up before pulling you onto her again, jutting her hips forward to burrow as deeply into you as possible. There was a cocky grin on her face as she started this pattern of slamming you onto her with each of her thrusts. The force was blissful and painful, and it was enough to send you over that edge only moments after.

"Lizzie!" you whined as you came, arching entirely off the bed and trying to squeeze your legs shut again. She kept them wide open around her, painfully gripping your calf. She fucked you right through your first orgasm, keeping herself inside you as she kneeled onto the bed and adjusted you further up the mattress.

Kneeling over you, she bent your legs to your chest, effectively folding you in half before resuming her merciless pace. You were on bordering tears now as her cock destroyed your sensitive and burning pussy. Lizzie's cool hand caressed the side of your hot cheek, offering slight respite before you came for her again, cumming hard around her cock as tears spilled from your eyes.

"That's right, cry for me," she husked, the dirtiness in her voice heightening your climax. You were grabbing desperately onto her back, her thrusts slowing to coax you down from your height.

Lizzie finally stopped, still holding the rather painful position as she watched you gasp for breath. She was panting too, but her eyes sparkled as she admired you. Her thumb swiped a tear from your cheek, and for a moment you thought she was done.

To your unified despair and delight, she pulled out only to flip you onto your stomach and enter you again. The feeling made you cry out as her cock buried inside your tired pussy, her hips laying flat against your ass. She grabbed a fistful of your hair and pulled your head up as she ground herself deeply inside you. Her mouth arrived to your neck and kissed it hungrily, smearing her spit all over you.

"Lizzie, please," you whined, shifting your legs as the unbearable pressure inside you grew larger every second she fucked you. She was thrusting her hips hard against your ass, rubbing her half-naked body atop yours as she bit at your neck. Her free hand came to your throat and glided upwards over your chin, her fingers slipping into your open mouth. Your face was burning red at how dirty it was that she made you suck on her fingers as she fucked you, even though you were desperate for relief.

"Just one more for me, baby," she lilted against your ear, her warm breath fanning over your face. "Keep sucking," she commanded you, pushing her fingers farther into your mouth. You could faintly taste yourself from when she had fingered you, but all of your senses were too overwhelmed to notice.

Finally, she moved her fingers out of your mouth to reach that arm underneath you, moving her now wet fingers to your clit and rubbing it hard. She pressed her face against your shoulder as she reached below you, still humping into you.

It was all too much. Both of your naked, warm bodies rubbing together. Her hips slamming into your ass. Her cock filling you up completely. Her fingers circling your bruised clit. It was enough to send you into yet another orgasm, burying your face into the mattress and screaming as Lizzie kissed your shoulder.

"Mmmm," she hummed in satisfaction as you cried into the sheets, your body going limp beneath hers. She finally stopped, keeping her face pressed into your shoulder for leverage as she lifted her hips and undid the harness, carefully kicking it onto the floor without accidentally kicking you.

Once the harness was gone, she lifted up and gently turned you over onto your back. Your makeup was smeared all across your face now, mascara smudged under your eyes and flaming red cheeks. She went to lay between your legs, but you slammed them shut and twisted them to the side so that she wouldn't. Lizzie chuckled at the action but respected it, instead laying over your hips and wrapping her arms around your twisted torso.

She pecked kisses against your cheek, humming with each one, moving towards your mouth before giving you a gentle kiss there. You were too dazed to even comprehend the kiss, which made her grin.

"Is that what people write about me on Tumblr?"

[rogersevans]

Caught, Pantsless

Pairings: Chris Evans x Downey!Reader 

Warnings: explicit, slight smut at the beginning, swearing 

Summary: Y/n and Chris are caught having sex, by Anthony, the worst person to keep it quiet, especially on the press tour with her father. part of the evans’ series.

“We have to be quick.” Chris mumbled against her lips, her back pressed against the wall as he worked on the button of her pants.

“Romantic.” She said sarcastically.

But they did have to be quick, they were currently on the relentless press tour for Endgame and finding time to be intimate with each other was very rare, it was becoming too much for them, like a pair of horny teenagers.  

Y/n was walking out of their hotel room when she was grabbed and shoved against the wall, now here we are, forgetting in the heat of the moment that the door had been left ajar.  

Chucking her shirt off to the side Chris didn’t hesitate to dip his head and place kisses in between the valley of her breasts, a small moan escaping only spurring Chris further.

Y/n couldn’t deny that her relationship with Chris was amazing, but the sex was mind blowing, he was able to make her cum in more ways than she thought possible. He always took care of her during sex, making sure she was comfortable, always being attentive to her. 

This was not one of those times.

“Chirs, I need you.” Y/n pleaded, taking his chin between her fingers and pulling his face back up to her, not waisting time before connecting their lips, the kiss was hungry and filled with need.  

“I got you, baby.” Once she’d shimmied out of her pants and underwear, Chris copying her actions, his hand grabbed her left thigh and hitched it around his waist, pulling her closer and closing the gap between them.  

The room was filled with the scent of arousal and their heavy pants.

“F-fuck-” Chris stuttered as she ran his dick through her now soaking folds, his head falling to her shoulder. “You’re so wet and I’ve hardly touched you.” Leaving wet kisses on her shoulder, neck and jaw.  

But that was the beauty of Chris Evans he didn’t need to touch Y/n to get her aroused or wet, he could be doing the most mundane thing in the world like, reading a book, and she would find that attractive, especially when his brows met in the middle as he concentrated on the story.  

It was impulse she couldn’t control-

Correction

Didn’t want to control.  

The feeling of him slamming into her made her thoughts come to screeching halt, not that she was complaining. Her nails digging into his shoulders, her head falling back and hitting the wall behind her as loud moans, curse words and his name fell from her mouth.  

“Fuck- Y/n... Oh, fuck.” Chris stuttered out, his hips now slamming against hers and the sound of skin hitting skin joined the sounds of moans.  

Y/n could feel the all too familiar coil building up in the pit of her stomach, she knew she was close, her head finding the crook of Chris’ neck and her leg wrapping tighter around his waist bringing him closer which only made him cry out a loud moan.  

“I’m gonna cum, Y/n-” He could feel himself nearing his edge also, the feeling of Y/n holding him tightly against her body was his signal she too was nearing hers.  

Both on the edge, all it would’ve taken would be one more thrust and they would’ve met their highs, satisfised.  

But that’s not what happened

God damn Anthony Mackie

“Hey guys we need to- oh fuck!” Chris’ head snapped up towards the door and there he saw Anthony stood in the doorway.

Fuck indeed.

He immediately stood in front of Y/n, shielding her body from his view, it would’ve been a sweet gesture.

If he wasn’t naked also.

“Dude, cover it up!” He exclaimed, looking anywhere but his friend, a smug smirk on his face. Chris now grabbing his boxers and chucking them on. “I was sent to find you both... Never mind.” He laughed, and y/n could feel the heat rising to her cheeks as she grabbed her clothes before slipping into the bathroom and slamming the door shut.  

Anthony’s laughs were all she could hear, not helping the situation.  

“We’ll be down in a minute.” She heard Chris say before the sound of the door shutting, the bathroom door opened and he popped his head in. “Well, that was... Eventful.” A cheeky smile on his face, still in his boxers.

“I can’t believe we got caught-”

“Well, you did leave the door open-” He was interrupted by a bottle of shampoo being thrown at the door, making him duck back out closing the door, now laughing.

The junket day was painful, and that was putting it lightly. 

Of course, Y/n had been paired with Anthony and Sebastian for the entire day, normally she loved their banter and demeanour’s during interviews it made them more entertaining, but wasn't a fan of being the butt of it.  

It didn’t take long for him to tell Sebastian. 

It also didn’t help that she was sat in between them, in fact that made it worse.  

“Where’s the worst place to turn into the hulk?” The interviewer asked the group. 

Chris, Y/n, Hemsworth, Robert, Mark and Scarlett had all come together for a interview with Jimmy Kimmel, they were playing Avengers Family Feud.

“The bedroom!” Robert said as Scarlett and Hemsworth both agreed, the audience cheering.

“That’s the best place!” Chris shouted back, slamming his hand on the counter. “C’mon!” Y/n couldn’t stop herself from laughing with the crowd. 

“You would know, right Chris?” Anthony asked smugly, now all eyes were on Y/n and Chris, their cheeks tuning red. Chris attempted to reach over to smack him upside the head, but Anthony dodged his attack, the crowd now “oohhhing”.

Chris and Y/n’s relationship wasn’t a secret, it was the opposite, they were very open with their relationship to an extent, their sex life fell under the topics of do not discuss publicly.

“I’m gonna kill you!” He said jokingly, reaching for him again whilst laughing along with everyone. “And you wouldn’t, would you.” Y/n quipped back at the same time with a smirk. Chris now looked at her, impressed, and held his hand up, Y/n didn’t waste time to high five him. His arm falling around her shoulders, “that’s my girl.” 

Y/n looked over to her dad who had his fingers in his ears, eyes closed and singing “la la la la” loud enough so he couldn’t hear, making everyone laugh more.

Once press was done for the day everyone decided to meet up for food in the hotel bar, now all sat in a misshaped circle on the comfy chairs. Chris’ hand rested comfortably on Y/n’s thigh as she conversed with Brie about their day.  

Thankfully, Anthony had managed to keep his mouth shut about your awkward run in this morning, only telling Sebastian.

Or so the pair thought.  

“We’re heading up guys,” Y/n said, now standing with Chris by her side, becoming very tired after one glass of wine, she did spend the day babysitting Sebastian and Anthony after all.  

“It’s still early! Thought you had your fill this morning?” Tom Holland now spoke, making everyone laugh, thankfully her father was at the bar. Y/n eyes instantly flew to Anthony who was sat in his seat, leaning back with a smug smile on his face.  

“It may have slipped out-”

“Slipped out?! Dude, you told everyone as soon as you found them!” Hemsworth now spoke up, sipping his beer to stop himself from laughing.  

“You’re a dick Mackie.” Chris said sternly, shaking his head as he grabbed his jacket.  

Y/n couldn’t stop the heat rising in her cheeks, she walked around the group and stopped behind Anthony’s chair and bent down to whisper something in his ear.  

“At least I’m getting some, your only comfort is your hand.”  

Ok, so it wasn’t a whisper because everyone heard it, which is what she wanted as the group now continued their laughter, but aiming it at Mackie, as he shrunk in his seat quietly protesting.  

Happy with herself she stood up straight, not paying attention to Chris’ face which had dropped completely, she turned around to leave only to see Robert stood behind her having heard every word.  

She went a white a ghost.

Fuck

Shit

After what felt like an eternity of silence and stares Robert simply stated, “next time, close your door kid, has your childhood taught you nothing?” Referring to the time she walked in on her mom and dad when she was a child, the paleness was now replaced with pink in her cheeks as he walked to the table and sitting with the group, who were laughing along with the joke.  

[kaiaiswriting]

Broken Arm

MCU Cast x Reader, Tom Holland x Reader

Request: Hi! Can you please do one where Tom Holland takes his girlfriend, who is a college student, to meet the avengers cast and when they met her they start telling her how Tom always talks about how good she is at football so then they play a game of football but when Sebastian tackles her he accidentally breaks her arm and Tom gets pissed. Sorry if this sounds confusing

Warnings: broken arm

A/N: another request! Sorry this turned out to be longer than I thought, but I hope you still enjoy it! I have a few requests in my inbox and I hope to get to them in the next couple of days :)) 

“Babe, are you done yet? The car’s already outside,” you heard your boyfriend Tom call for you from downstairs.

Tom and his fellow Avengers cast members just wrapped up filming Infinity War and happened to be in your area. You’ve heard tons of stories about the cast and what it was like on set, all of which sounded really fun, but you had never met them before. Tom, however, took this opportunity to offer you to meet the cast on set–needless to say, you were excited, albeit quite nervous. At the end, you agreed and were happy to hear that the cast were happy to meet you as well. 

You finished up your last assignment and closed your laptop, happy to be looking away from the screen after what seemed like hours doing so. You grabbed your purse and headed down to meet Tom by the doorway. Tom gently slivered his arm into yours as you both headed to the car where a driver awaited in the front seat. 

“We can head back to the set now,” Tom said as the driver nodded and began driving. 

After a few minutes of silence, Tom spotted your fidgeting hands. He placed his hands on yours and gave a gentle look. 

“Y/n, you have nothing to worry about,” he said.

“I’m just nervous, I mean it’s my first time meeting them, and it’s the Avengers cast we’re talking about–RDJ, Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan,” you went on. 

“You’ll be fine, besides, they all love you! I’ve told them about you and they’re beyond excited to see you,” Tom reassured you as he brushed his thumb against your fingers.

You smiled at him and he smiled back. 

“There also happens to be a field on set, so you could go and play football with the cast,” Tom said, knowing your love for football.

“Really?” you said, your eyes shining, earning a chuckle from Tom.

“I’m serious, it’s one of the reasons I wanted all of us to meet on set.”

“This is why I love you,” you teasingly said, giving him a peck on the cheek. 

A few minutes passed and you finally arrived on set. Tom helped you out of the car and directed you towards what seemed to be a lounge area. From a distance you could hear people talking, chuckles, and laughter: it was the cast.

You and Tom turned one more corner and entered the room; sitting inside were Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Anthony Mackie, and Sebastian Stan. It was surreal seeing them all in real life; you were paralyzed for a moment, but seeing the cast members all greet you with a smile somewhat comforted you. 

“Hey Y/n! It’s so great to finally meet you!” the one and only Robert Downey Jr. said as he waved.

You responded with smiles, waves, and “hellos”, ecstatic at how affable the cast were. Tom gave you a smile as you both sat on a nearby couch.

“Y/n, Tom has told us so much about you,” Scarlett said with a warm smile.

“Well, I hope they’re good things,” you replied, earning laughter from the others.

“Oh you bet, Tom can never shut up about you–especially how good you are at football,” Anthony chimed in.

You blushed ever so slightly, not knowing how to respond.

“So, do you play football, are you part of a team?” Sebastian asked.

“I’m still in college right now and I play for our football team,” you answer. 

Just then, Robert clapped his hands suddenly as if he had thought of an idea. 

“Y’know what, why don’t we all play a small game out in the field? It’s not like we have anything better to do.”

Tom turned to you and you nodded vigorously.

“Alright, can’t wait to beat your ass Tom,” Anthony said jokingly, followed by laughter. 

You, Tom, and the cast separated into two teams: you, Tom, and Robert were in one team and Scarlett, Anthony, and Sebastian in the other. The props guy happened to have a spare, unused football that you guys ended up using for the game. Before beginning, a coin was tossed to determine which team would start with the ball, and to your disappointment, the other team was to start the game. 

As you gathered on the field, a few crew members chose to stand by and watch the game. Both teams moved to either side of the field and began taking their positions. 

“Alright, let’s start in 3, 2, 1!” Robert exclaimed.

You watched earnestly as Anthony kicked the football hard across the field, landing a few meters in front of you. You were quick to react and run for the football. The field was soon filled with cheers and screams, but you remained focused on your goal. Once you had the ball in your hands, all you had to do was bring it to the other side of the field. 

You ran with all your might and skillfully dodged Scarlett and Anthony. As you continued running, you heard Tom and Robert cheer for you. You let out a chuckle and didn’t realize Sebastian running towards you at the corner of your eye. Once you realized, it was too late to dodge–though, you still tried to swerve past Sebastian. 

Your attempts at dodging failed as Sebastian’s hand grabbed a hold of your left arm, pushing you backwards. Your right arm instinctively flew backwards to cushion your fall, but with how far back you already were, your arm was bent as you landed hard on the ground with Sebastian on top of you.

Crack.

Shit. That can’t be good. You felt your arm crack loudly as it was stuck under your and Sebastian’s body. The pain was overwhelming, enough to distract you from the shouts let out by Tom and the crew members. 

“Y/n!” Tom repeatedly shouted as he and the others ran towards you and Sebastian.

Sebastian quickly removed himself from you and Tom pushed past Sebastian to get to you. Tom tended to your arm as Scarlett, Robert, Sebastian, and Anthony knelt beside you. 

“Y/n, are you okay? Where does it hurt?” Tom asks.

You let out a groan as he helps handle your arm that was stuck behind you. You whimper and let out a painful “ow”, which was enough to let the others know that your hand was broken. 

“That can’t be good, we have to bring her to the hospital,” Robert says as he orders the watching crew members to prepare a car for you. 

“Y/n, breathe with me okay? Inhale and exhale,” Scarlett gently says as she attempts to comfort you. 

“Y/n I’m so sorry,” Sebastian says, bringing Tom’s attention towards him.

Tom gently pushed Sebastian’s shoulder to everyone’s surprise. 

“Seb, what the fuck were you thinking, tackling her that hard? Now her arm’s probably broken,” Tom said as he faced Sebastian. Anthony, who was watching, approached Tom and attempted to calm him down. 

“Tom, I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean for this to happen. I meant to push her a softly,” Sebastian says worriedly.

“But-” 

“Tom, it’s fine,” you interject.

Tom and Sebastian look at you with guilt-stricken expressions, but you smile at them.

“It was just an accident, I’ll be okay,” you continue.

Soon after, the crew member announces that the car is ready to take you to the hospital. Seeing as though the cast had nothing planned for the day, they decided to accompany you to the hospital. 

In the car, Tom kept his hand on yours, trying his best to comfort you. Once you arrived, you were checked up and found out that you had indeed broken your arm. Thankfully, it was not severe, so they had patched you up with a cast and sent you off to rest. Whilst you awaited with Tom and the cast to pay and retrieve your medicine in the waiting room, you made small talk with Scarlett and the others. Tom used this time to apologize to Sebastian for going off at him earlier, and they both made up.

“Y/n, let me pay for the medicine and all, it’s the least I can do,” Sebastian offers as you’re about to pay.

“Sebastian, it’s fine, really, it was all just an accident,” you assure him.

You guys go back and forth for what seems like hours until finally, you convince him that everything’s fine. 

As you all step out into the cool night breeze, you and Tom choose to take a taxi back to your house. Robert, Anthony, Scarlett, and Sebastian take turns hugging you and telling you how much fun it was meeting you.

“Can’t wait to see you next time kid, hopefully you don’t break any more bones though,” Robert says, earning an eruption of laughter.

“Y/n, I’m really sorry for today. Maybe next time we should all just go out to watch a movie or somethin’ instead of playing football,” he suggests, and you agree.

The cast members return to their car as you and Tom get on a taxi. In the darkness of the backseat, you lay your head against Tom’s as he lays gentle kisses on your forehead and strokes your hands. 

“I’m so sorry for how today turned out,” he says.

“Tom, I’m fine, seriously.”

“I just wanted everything to go smoothly today. Instead, here you are with a broken arm.”

“Honestly, today was pretty fun,” you say and Tom looks at you weirdly.

“It was a good distraction from work, and besides, I got to meet your co-stars, how cool is that!” 

You and Tom share a laugh as you spend the rest of the ride cuddling against each other on the backseat. 

[liberty-barnes]

Just Breathe

Tom Holland x Female!Osterfield!Bisexual!Reader

Summary: Childbirth waits for no one, not even the Oscars.

Warnings: fluuuuuff, pregnant reader, mentions of childbirth, good press articles, BISEXUAL READER WOOOHOOO

Word Count: 1.5k words

Estimated Reading Time: 6 minutes

A/N: heeeeey look @peterspideyy​ @parkersbliss​ that crazy idea i ranted to you about like six months ago finally got done! i can’t believe i did it... this feels too good to be true, is the world gonna end or something?

Masterlist 

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"Me neither."

"Please, just stay here."

You looked up to your brother and husband, frowning as you smoothed your hand over the soft black fabric of your gown.

"I am not missing the Oscars, Tom. I've still got two weeks until I'm due, it'll be fine."

You sat down on the bed and looked dejectedly at your shoes, then proceeded to throw puppy dog eyes your brother's way until Harrison had no choice but to kneel and help you put on your comfortable trainers. There's no way you're putting on your heels at 37 weeks of pregnancy.

"But what if Baby decides to come sooner? You could go into labour at any moment!"

You rolled your eyes and only raised your arms so they could help you out of bed.

"You guys are being over-dramatic. Nothing's gonna happen. We're just going to the Oscars, we'll have a good time, and hopefully, I'll leave with a little statue under my arm."

With that, you waddled out of your hotel room, ready to get into the limo.

---

"(Y/n)! It's so good to see you! You look radiant as always!"

You smiled at Kaitlyn, an interviewer you knew and trusted and rubbed your belly comfortingly. 

"Thank you, I feel like a whale, but Baby'll be here soon so it's worth it."

She smiled and asked you a bunch of questions about your movie and how you were feeling about being nominated for Best Actress.

"But anyway, how far along are you now?"

"I'm a little over 37 weeks, they should be coming soon. Tom and Haz were actually really apprehensive about me coming here since I'm so close to my due date."

She smiled and looked over at the two men, obviously on edge.

"Well, I wish you all the best and I sincerely hope you win."

You hugged her goodbye and posed for a few more pictures before being led inside by your husband.

---

"And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for..."

Everyone watched with bated breath as Brie Larson, last year's winner, got ready to announce who would take home the trophy.

"This year's winner, and taking home the Oscar for best actress in a leading role..."

Tom took your hand and you squeezed it tight, ready to applaud one of the other amazing actresses on their win.

"(Y/n) Holland, for her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin!"

You felt like your heart was gonna beat out of your chest, run to that stage, kiss Brie, then promptly burst to flames out of sheer, unadulterated enthusiasm. Tom was hugging you and whispering how much you deserved it while your brother gently guided you to the podium. None of them would ever allow you to go up there on your own. Always one in front of you in case you trip forward and one behind you to catch you if you fall back.

Overprotective much?

As soon as you reached Brie, you hugged her tight (or as tight as you could with a human baby house separating you), taking the award while the two boys hugged her too.

"Holy Louis Tomlinson in a crop top."

The audience laughed, most of them already familiar with your strange One Direction inspired expressions.

"Wow, I didn't actually think I was gonna win this, everyone had such amazing performances. I-It's an honour, really. Two Sides of the Same Coin was a project very near and dear to my heart, so I'd like to thank the amazing Drew Barrymore, who wrote and directed the movie."

The room erupted in cheers and the woman smiled at you from her place on the front row.

"Bisexual representation is something we don't get very often, and when we do, it's always misjudged. So thank you for showing the world what bisexuality really is, and for giving me a chance to live out my dreams of kissing lots of people. This idiot tied me down too soon."

You pointed behind you at Tom, hearing his appalled squeak along with Harrison's guffaw of a laugh. 

In other news, the baby was starting to inconvenience you slightly. Baby had been going crazy since last night (not that you'd tell the boys) and the Braxton-Hicks were killing you, but it only got worse now.

"I'd also like to thank my amazing costars, Zendaya, Bella Thorne, and Owen Patrick Joyner, it was awesome to make out with you all..."

The crowd laughed while you felt something trickle down your legs.

Oh.

OH.

You'll never live this down, that's for sure.

"Uh, before I finish can one of you idiots call the car and get them to come to the exit please and thank you? Now as I was saying-"

"Wait, why?"

You turned to your brother and smiled innocently.

"Oh, my water just broke."

The crowd cheered.

Tom screamed.

Harrison fell to the floor, unconscious.

You sighed.

"New plan, can anyone try to wake my brother while my hus-" 

You looked at Tom, frantically doing small back and forths between you and his best friend, unsure of what to do. 

"-While someone else calls the car because both of them are apparently useless."

"We need to get you to the hospital!"

His terrified scream could be heard all through the room, even with no mic.

"What? No! I need to finish my acceptance speech, then go back to the hotel to shower and maybe take a little nap and then go to the hospital. My water just broke, Thomas, we have time, calm your tits."

You turned back fully to the mic, facing the hysteric faces of the crowd, very entertained by the exchange.

"Now as I was saying, I want to thank the amazing team that worked on this movie, you're all amazing and it was such a good experience. I'd also like to thank my family for always being there for me and supporting me and Haz in our acting careers. Thank you to my brother, even if he's unconscious right now, he'll just watch it on Youtube later, for literally forcing me to go to the audition. And lastly, I'd like to thank my wonderful husband, who hopefully hasn't passed out yet, for always supporting me and being my biggest rock through everything. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff."

---

An Oscar in hand and another... down her legs?

(Y/n) Holland sure gave the Oscars something to be entertained by on this last Saturday. The wife of fellow actor Tom Holland looked radiant in her custom-made Valentino dress, looking ready for a night of fun.

(Y/n) was nominated for this year's Best Actress in a Leading Role award, alongside Meryl Streep, Margot Robbie, Cate Blanchett, and Tessa Thompson, but the Oscar went to her from her brilliant performance in Two Sides of the Same Coin. But it was during her acceptance speech that things got... slippery.

At 37 weeks of pregnancy, the Holland baby was ready to come at any minute, but apparently, theatrics run in the family. The actress was in the middle of her speech when she felt her water break, pausing in her talking to request a car be called.

You'd think her husband, Tom, and brother Harrison Osterfield, overprotective as they are, would be fully prepared! Unfortunately for them, and fortunately for our entertainment, they were not. Harrison went unconscious after hearing the news, dropping to the floor and earning himself a minor concussion, much to his sister's amusement

[image1-harrison-ice-pack.png]

@ynholland: "Don't worry, when you go into labour, I'll be with you every step of the way." Said Harrison Osterfield, then proceeded to pass out, get a minor concussion, and miss the whole delivery.😂 Good job, little bro👍

And just when you thought she couldn't get any better, she finishes her acceptance speech with: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deliver a baby, you know, just normal Saturday night stuff." We have no choice but to stan this iconic queen!

But for the news you've all been waiting for, Oscar Robert Holland (yes, the middle name is a homage to Robert Downey Jr. himself, we're not crying, you are!) was born just twelve hours later. Tom let know through a beautiful Instagram picture that he is in fact "perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already".

[image2-tom-and-oscar.png]

@tomholland2013: I present to you, my best creation to this date: Oscar Robert Holland. Thank you all for your prayers and kind messages, our boy is perfectly healthy and loved by everyone already❤️

But of course, Uncle Haz wouldn't stay behind.

[image3-haz-and-oscar.png]

@hazosterfield: Since I know you've all been worried sick and desperate to know how the baby is... I'm doing just fine, it's just a minor concussion :) Oh and my godson's great too.

And just to prove that the Osterfields are indeed the royal family of comedy, we leave with this wonderful picture posted to the happy mum's very own Instagram.

[image4-yn-and-oscars.png]

@ynholland: Guess I was so good they gave two Oscars instead of one ;)

-Written by Kaitlyn Storm

so anyway, Two Sides of the Same Coin is a movie idea i got a while ago and should maybe try to write one of these days but oh well or something. anyway, i’m not gonna rant about it here cause it’d be too long but i hope you enjoyed this and don’t forget to like/comment/reblog if you feel like it!

-Love, Miah

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────» 

Taglists: (if your name is striked through it means for some reason tumblr wouldn’t let me tag you) 

PERMA TAG 

@adriannajackson123​ @theamazingtomholland​ @inlovewithmobtom​ @andycanbeemotional​ @officiallyunofficialperson​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @jeezkiddo​ @a-singleboat​ @wunder-13 @highlydisfunctional1​ @ellyseveronica​ @inthecornerchair​ @harishaanne​ @anjalika03​ @lozzypoz321​ @mendes-marvel​ @sovereignparker​ @bubbles-the-powerpuffgurl 

 MARVEL ACTORS 

@sarcasticallywitty15​ @agentnataliahofferson​ @onelovesr​ @agentnataliahofferson​ @parkerpetertingle​ @juliebean247​ @frustratingpaperclip​ @tacobacoyeet​ 

HOLLAND & CO. 

@sarcasticallywitty15​ @agentnataliahofferson​ @onelovesr​ @agentnataliahofferson​ @zeusmyster​ @parkerpetertingle​ @juliebean247​ @joyleenl​ @quaksonhehe​ @clara-licht​ @frustratingpaperclip​  @tutuabby28​ @tacobacoyeet​ 

LGBTQ+ 

@quaksonhehe​ 

[thegirlwhocrushes]

→ WHO Name: Robert John Downey, Jr. Birth: 04/04/1965 Occupation: Actor

→ STATS Where: Chaplin (1992) When: 1992 - Present Noticed: Everything.

→ RANK

→ MORE Yes, I've had a crush on this man for 30 years now. I love Charlie Chaplin and when the movie of his biography came out on video I couldn't miss it. Needless to say that it was love at first sight when I saw RDJ. He made me laugh and cry in the same film, and swoon because he was just so beautiful. After Chaplin, every single one of his movies were a must for me. Heart and Souls, Only You, and my most favorite movie of Robert's, Restoration. Ever since Chaplin I have followed his career, with both ups and downs. I was incredibly excited when Iron Man came out. I remember watching the very first teaser and bouncing off the walls because Robert was in a big movie, and what an amazing movie it was indeed. Not only has he remained an incredibly talented artist who managed to get his life back together and make it a wonderful one, but he also keeps getting sexier through the years.

[leverage-commentary]

Leverage Season 3, Episode 3, The Inside Job, Audio Commentary Transcript

Geoffrey: Hi, I’m Geoff Thorne, I wrote this episode.

John: I’m John Rogers, executive producer and director of this particular episode.

Beth: Hi, I’m Beth Riesgraf. I play Parker.

[Laughter]

John: She - It’s her first time, be gentle everyone.

Aldis: This is DJ Fudge, your resident Aldis Hodge impersonator.

[Laughter]

John: Really, every time, a different one?

Aldis: Every time! Dag gone. Every time!

Chris: This is Chris Downey, executive producer, and this is The Inside Job. John, this is your directorial debut.

John: It is indeed.

[Cheers]

Chris: How terrified were you?

John: You know what? I was not terrified. ‘Cause I knew we had a great crew, and it really is that, you know, when you’ve got a DP like Dave Connell and you’ve got, you know, an “A” operator like Gary Camp, it’s just- tell ‘em what you want to see, and how you want to feel, and they’ll get you there. And the actors of course busted their ass, too.

Geoffrey: Yes, thank you actors.

Aldis: Thank you.

John: In particular, this scene, Tim took his lunch off the day before to come in and block. And make sure it was all blocked out because we had a really crammed day the next day. But I wanna ask Geoff because- this is how Geoff got hired for the show, he wrote this as a freelance. He sold this as a freelance.

[Cheers]

Geoffrey: [whooping] Yay, me!

[Laughter]

John: And what gave you the idea for this? And it was originally called the Lobster Trap, cause of the line, yeah.

Geoffrey: The Lobster Trap, right. Back when the show first started, I wanted to get on it and I didn’t. I didn’t get on for two seasons, and this is one of the pitches that I pitched these guys. And they bought it as a pitch, and then it sort of just sat gathering dust. And the characters as described by Chris and John initially, were sort of Mission Impossible-y, they were characters. But over two seasons the actors filled them up with things that were not in that original, sort of, baseline “here’s who we’re talking about”, and it was really fun to be able to come back two seasons in and sort of do a similar story to what was pitched, but to really take advantage of the things, the nuances, and the sort of weird backstory stuff that is implied, by the way the actors - Beth in particular, in this particular case - filled up Parker. It was just a ball.

John: And there’s Richard Chamberlain.

Everyone: Aww.

John: I’m utterly stealing an old William Shatner trick there. William Shatner, when he would come on Star Trek would walk- using an old theater trick, walk onto the set with his back to the camera constantly, upstaging everyone, so you were forced to look at him.

[All Laugh]

Chris: Wow

John: Yeah, that’s actually- he told me that, back when he was on Cosby. 

[Laughter]

John: And so it always stuck in my head. And that was also raining constantly, so we had this 70-something year old actor up on a roof in 50 degree weather with rain.

Geoffrey: And he was a killer.

Beth: Oh, that’s right.

John: But it gave us a great sky, so that’s what’s important. 

Geoffrey: Yeah. And he was like, 70 year old actor, whatever, he was great.

John: Yes, he did not miss a beat.

Aldis: John you like putting people on roofs, don’t you?

John: I do like putting people on roofs.

Chris: Me too.

John: It’s a show about people who rappel and break into shit-

Aldis: I’m just saying!

John: We should be on roofs a lot! 

Geoffrey: And blow stuff up.

John: Now, Beth, this was a giant backstory episode for you. I guess, what’d you think when you- besides the great action opening, what did you think when you read the script?

Beth: I was so excited. I was really excited, because I guess you and I talked a bit about her backstory. I guess any time we get to dive in and show the audience bits and pieces of the puzzle I get really excited about it. And I felt like we earned it, you know, this season to sort of expose some more bits about Parker, and the fact that Richard Chamberlain came on was like, “Ahhh!” Yeah, and this is totally a non sequitur, but I was watching A Fish Called Wanda last night-

John: Ok?

Beth: And I was like oh my god! [Laughs] 

Chris: A heist movie, I wouldn’t call that a non sequitur; that is a heist movie.

Geoffrey: Archie Leach

Beth: Archie Leach! I was like, “oh snap!” Yeah, so anyways, that was funny.

Chris: Now here, both John and Geoff, what was the challenge in creating Parker’s home? I mean this is not something we’d even alluded to.

Beth: This was fun.

John: Well this was- I’ll first mention by the way, that iconic shot and the one coming out is all Dave Connell. I’d originally planned to follow them in with the camera, into the spotlit area, and Dave was the one who said why don’t we start it low, and then turn on the lights?

Geoffrey: God bless Dave.

Aldis: No, he said [in British accent], “Why don’t you start it low, mate?”

John: Yeah, “Why don’t you start it low, mate?” And really Dave is a master of, “I’m not gonna tell you the shot you set up is shit, but I’m gonna give you a suggestion that’ll make it look much better.”

[All Laugh]

Chris: And Geoff, what went through your mind about where Parker would live?

Geoffrey: Well, honestly? Initially I had no idea. When you guys designed Parker she was your prototypical, perfect catburglar. And that was kind of- you know, I come from a comic book/sci fi world, so that’s just how I saw her. And then over the two years as an actual fan of the show - Beth filled her up with different things. She was quirkier than I had initially thought she would be. She was less Mata Hari and more sort of, savant thief? And so I thought what kind of a brain could this person, who I’m seeing do this stuff, what would her real life be like when she was away from the others? And it would be kind of a stripped down life, right? Her only sense of value would be, the get. It wasn’t even the having, it was the getting. So, and that literally all came from Beth, and putting that bunny there? That was like the last little touch, I think that we did that in the room. 

John: Yeah it was- because again, the bunny had become this kind of iconic image from the pilot. And that’s the original bunny, and it was a real pain in the ass to find.

Beth: I remember you trying to find the bunny, yeah.

John: Yeah, it was not- it was like it’s gotta be. Because the fans will know! And also, stealing the clear things to shoot through was great.

Chris: And there's a great effect here cause it seems like her stuff literally is floating in space.

Beth: Yeah, and the space is-

Chris: There's no sense of walls.

Beth: Yeah, and the space is massive. But I like the fact that that it's all right together in one little spot of her-

Aldis: Right there, yeah.

John: Yeah, it's a weird mix of like she needs the security of closed spaces, she prefers closed spaces, but she likes no corners.

Beth: Exactly, yeah.

Geoffrey: I like the idea, I really like- and Dave really embodied this, and I wish I could say “oh this was the plan” but it just sorta all came together with everybody, it was literally like you were walking into Parker's mind. And that was not the plan, but it certainly looked like it was the plan.

John: This is everything that's important to Parker externalized.

Beth: Right.

John: Now I'm gonna ask Aldis: you had a really tough little turn there when he said, you know “would you do it for Parker” what’s-

Aldis: Right.

John: You know, how did you prep for that? Or what you were thinking there? What was your attitude coming into this scene?

Aldis: Coming into this scene is like- you understood that Hardison has a thing for Parker. Of course he has an attraction there, but in this scene you can actually physically see the care that he has for her. And they’re two different things, the attraction and the care. He's worried about her, he's scared. And actually, particularly in this scene when he almost gets into it with Eliot, he's not necessarily thinking about the plan as a whole, he's only gunning for Parker and her safety.

John: Yeah.

Aldis: He's going to get his woman.

Geoffrey: That’s right.

Aldis: But I like this scene because it exposed a little bit more of how he truly felt. And I think in this he found out a bit more about how he truly felt about Parker. And, you know, it just leaves open to the imagination for what comes next for him, through this episode and throughout the duration of the series.

John: I do wanna throw one of those lovely little shooting things out. While we were shooting in the streets of Portland, this is in a park in Vancouver, WA. There is a giant clock tower in this park-

Aldis: [Laughs]

Geoffrey: [Laughing] OH MY GOD!

Aldis: That would not shut up!

John: That goes off at noon, and it started going off at noon, and we're like “alright, well, we'll wait it out.”

Beth: And every 10 minutes after that.

John: No, and then a door opens on the side of the clocktower and a diorama appears to tell the history of salmon! I shit you not!

Aldis: Salmon!

Geoffrey: It was insane!

John: I shit you not!

[Talking over each other]

John: We're just burning daylight!

[All Laugh]

Chris: It was a clock with salmon?

John: It was- yes!

Geoffrey: It was the story of salmon fishing in Portland.

John: Animatronic Lewis and Clark --

Aldis: Let me tell you how Jesus created salmon and put them here in Portland!

John: It was nuts

Geoffrey: Exactly! Are we being punked? What is this?!

Aldis: Oh man that was-

John: Brutal daylight just bleeding away on us.

Aldis: Personally I'd just take an RPG and shoot the thing!

[Laughter]

John: I will say- I will say one of our AD's, Jimmy Mac, actually took a crowbar and broke into it to disarm it. Which is why he's my favorite.

Geoffrey: God bless him.

Geoffrey: You're admitting crime, we can't say that!

John: We admit crime all the time here!

Geoffrey: That's just hearsay! That's just hearsay!

John: This is actually a pairing we don't usually do. This was one of my favorite things about the script and how Geoff designed it. And it worked- what’s fun as Geoff coming to this as a fan, he paired up characters in ways that we ordinarily don't think of.

Aldis: Right.

John: In ways he’d want to see. And Sophie talking Hardison down through process is a good approach. And this, by the way, all great actors.

Geoffrey: Yes.

John: Local actors Glen Baggerly and Kirk Mouser.

Aldis: And Lisa Brenner.

John: And Lisa Brenner!

[Cheer]

Geoffrey: Yay Lisa!

John: Who is from LA and is the wife of Dean Devlin.

Aldis: Yes.

[Cheers]

John: And it is not- people go “oh Dean Devlin's wife.” I actually had liked her in a web series called Blank Slate and did not know she was married to Dean.

Beth: Oh wow.

Chris: She's fantastic in it, if you get a chance, she’s-

John: Yeah it’s still floating around on the servers on TNT, I think.

Geoffrey: I think it’s on Hulu too.

John: Yeah it's on Hulu.

Geoffrey: I think it’s on Hulu.

John: It's a lot of fun it's she and-

Chris: Clancy Brown.

John: Clancy Brown. And Eric Stoltz!

Aldis: Right.

John: Really great little webseries. And so when we needed- we wanted a female villain, a scientist, we went out and grabbed her actually, so this worked out great.

Geoffrey: Yeah, she did a great job.

Aldis: You can automatically feel that ominous air about her as soon as she steps onto the scene.

John: Yeah, she tightened it. Well this was- and part of it was, you know, even coordinating with Nadine Haders, our great costume person, what would look good in this blue room? I mean this is the menacing room of blue.

Beth: Right.

Aldis: Yeah.

John: This is the tech room, this is very British style.

Geoffrey: A Steranko!

John: Oh and this Portland actress. I love her eyes at the end of this scene.

Geoffrey: Oh she was great.

Aldis: Yes.

John: Just the little look she throws to Kirk. 

Aldis: Emma Peele, Jonathan Stead.

John: Yeah exactly.

Geoffrey: Right.

John: Yeah, exactly. and if I were going to do The Avengers, this may well be the pairing that I would do.

[Laughter]

Geoffrey: Somebody call the BBC! This works!

John: No reason not to do this version of The Avengers, that's all I'm gonna say.

Geoffrey: Let me write it! I can write it!

Aldis: Stead, stead.

John: This was a ton of fun. That is actually a shot from three blocks away, that we-

Chris: Now how did you do that?

John: Ninja zoomed into. It is what Dave Connell calls “the ninja zoom, mate.” 

Chris: Oh.

John: Where you actually take- you draw a plum line, get a straight line, you use one size zoom, zoom in, and then you lock that shot to another big zoom lens, and then you zoom in, and then you lock that shot to another zoom lens, and you zoom in. You actually stagger three zoom shots. To get an impossible-

Aldis: John, why don't you just tell people the truth. Look, we hooked up our camera operator up to a jetpack.

[Laughter]

John: And fired him across the sky!

Geoffrey: Gary would do that.

John: Gary would.

Aldis: He would, wouldn’t he?

Geoffrey: He would totally do that.

John: Give Gary a jetpack he would totally do it. I also love how Richard played that you didn't know if he was a bad guy or a good guy there.

Geoffrey: He's just like- one of these people, like, why was he sitting on the shelf all this time? He's just- spot on every moment.

Chris: You forget he-

John: He retired, he-

Geoffrey: He was retired? We brought him back?

Chris: He was a master of the mini series.

John: He was a master of the mini series. This was his first role after he retired. There was a reason he was the biggest television star on earth.

Geoffrey: Yeah, he's a killer.

John: Yeah. And I will say, that the first time we did this in rehearsal, he actually did the shogun flip with the cane, and we did it in rehearsal and there’s like five of us on the roof and we went “that’s fucking cool.”

[Laughter]

John: Richard Chamberlain just broke us some shogun.

Geoffrey: He's the only actor I've ever had a problem like being in their vicinity of.

John: Yeah, he’s just intimidating.

Geoffrey: Like normally it's just work or whatever, there's something about it being him specifically I was just like, “ahhh!”

John: He's got old school presence.

Beth: Yeah, he does.

Aldis: You lied, Geoffrey, it was me.

Geoffrey: It was kinda you Aldis.

Beth: He was so beautiful.

John: Also that is my comedy roots there, a locked off comedy frame, a fight happening in the background-

[Laughter]

Aldis: Yeah, yeah.

John: That's just- you can't beat that. You really can't.

Beth: Oh yeah I love- my favorite instance of that is The Studio Job when Christian is in the sound booth.

John: And cleared out?

Aldis: Oh, wait!

Beth: And he gets taken out! That was amazing!

John: I also did it in The Rashomon Job, in the through the door frame, when Eliot clears the guard out of the way.

Beth: Oh yes, I love those.

Geoffrey: Insane.

John: There's you really can't go wrong with that.

Beth: No.

Chris: You can't go wrong with guys fighting in the background.

Beth: That was hard not to laugh on that one.

[Laughter]

John: Cause you can hear it, right?

Beth: Yeah. 

Aldis: Yeah.

Beth: Well we could hear it, and then Frakes is always like hissing in the background laughing during every single take.

John: And this was actually a lot of fun coming up with our- these people exist, these sort of corporate headhunters slash cleansers.

Geoffrey: Yeah.

John: And building the architecture and the structure of the agricultural company was a lot of fun. And also using agricultural company as the bad guys-

Geoffrey: Yeah.

John: Was interesting. It's a very neglected part of modern corporate structure. Beautiful shot, that was Dave Connell.

Geoffrey: And we learned a lot about it.

John: Yeah, it’s- you know, we say drug companies are- you know, we go after drug companies, we go after insurance companies. Agricultural companies are terrifying! In the amount of power and wealth they have.

Geoffrey: Ok, this is something that was improved immeasurably by underthinking it. When I first wrote this scene, these lasers were threads. There were a billion red threads all over this room that this poor girl was gonna have to dodge her way through.

Chris: Ohhh.

John: And I will say- oh by the way visual effects guys putting the reflection of the laser in the spoon? Amazing.

Beth: Yeah, it was really amazing.

Geoffrey: They were like “Geoff, lasers!” and I was like “Can we do lasers?”

[Laughter]

Chris: Oh lasers are cheap! Thread is amazingly expensive!

John: As the director who had to get like a 13 year old Portland girl to somersault through red thread, I was like “yeah we're doing fucking lasers.” It’s an empty floor.

[Laughter]

Chris: Let's give props to her she did-

John: She did a great job.

Chris: I mean how great was that?

Beth: I mean I had to show her how to do it.

[Laughter]

Beth: That took a little time.

John: That is true. And this is also was kinda the struggle in the rewrite. Now, originally when we started-

Geoffrey: Oh god.

John: He's started as a much more sinister and kind of cruel character.

Geoffrey: Yeah, he and Tim were much more sort of physically at odds with each other. And we went around and around you, me, Dean, and Chris sort of kept bouncing different versions of Archie around. Like, what would he be like?

John: Because if he's not sympathetic at some point, you don't understand why Parker would go back for him.

Beth: Right, and that moment at the end doesn't pay off either.

John: Exactly. And so getting a great actor like Richard Chamberlain made a giant difference, but also coming up with a “he never would've put her in this if he'd had the choice.”

Beth: Yeah.

Geoffrey: Yeah.

John: It really made a difference.

Chris: We had the-

John: We rewrote right up to shooting. I mean I was-

Geoffrey: Right up until? What do you mean until? It was during-

Chris: And I mean the idea was we were gonna plant the two, sort of, father figures together- 

Geoffrey: Right.

Chris: In this, going mano y mano. And you wanted it to go back and forth, and each one of them having a kinda-

Geoffrey: A win.

Chris: A say, you know, a victory in a sense, over the course of the story, about who had her interests at heart.

John: Well-

Aldis: Now Geoffrey- oh? Go ahead.

John: No, I just wanted to note, that was actually interesting Christian had gotten injured and we were trying to figure out how to deal with it. And going back and forth on CG and everything, I realized you know we always say you only see one out of every three jobs on the TV.

Aldis: Yeah.

John: Just put a bandage on his nose! Shit happens to Eliot Spencer.

Beth: Yeah.

Aldis: Oh, exactly.

Geoffrey: And by the way, I made a crack about- later on you being Kitty and him being Wolverine from the X-Men. But he heals crazy fast!

Aldis: Yeah, yes he does.

Beth: He actually does have like-

John: Weird okie blood going.

Beth: Superhuman.

Geoffrey: Like two days later there was nothing left of that injury.

Chris: By the way, I don't know how much of the drilling the thing into the line is real, but I bought every minute of it.

John: This is- you know what, here’s- I will say one thing, one bit of directing, just keep people moving and keep them talking quickly. That is the key to everyone believing absolutely everything you say.

[Laughter]

Aldis: Oh yes, you guys keep me talking very fast. Using the biggest words in the world!

John: That's why we hired you, son.

Geoffrey: You poor guy, god bless you.

John: In the reading- we hired you! You got through the monologue quickest in the audition. Had a good time.

Beth: Yeah, there's a reason I say one word every scene.

Aldis: But Geoff I wanted to ask you, I know you came- the idea for the backstory, but why was Chamberlain the particular- well not Chamberlain, but, you know, that particular character-

Geoffrey: Well I like-

Aldis: Archetype for Parker.

Geoffrey: Like I said, as watching the show as opposed to just coming in as a writer before anyone is even cast, trying to get on it-

Beth: Oh my gosh, he was so funny.

Geoffrey: Oh Josiah?

John: We’ll talk about him in a second, but go ahead.

Geoffrey: Oh Josiah was a genius.

Beth: Sorry, I cut you off.

Geoffrey: You guys really filled up these characters in ways that always happens with actors, but in these particular action type things: we don't care, if we don't care about you. 

Aldis: Yeah.

Geoffrey: So, Parker is an interesting puzzle because, you know, Beth’s a lovely woman, she's a sweet person, but she's not crazy. And Parker’s constantly described as crazy, but you wouldn’t really work with a crazy person, I mean you couldn't trust them.

Aldis: Right.

Geoffrey: So, she can't really be crazy, so she's just quirky. What created those quirks? We saw the explosion of the house- 

Aldis: Yeah.

Geoffrey: We saw these little clips of her past, and I was like well how does that add up to this woman we’re dealing with now who we can let dive off a roof and climb up through all the- and like literally walk away from. Cause your character, in theory, loves her. And yet you let her get into all manner of crazy situations.

Aldis: Oh he said the L word, he said the L word, John.

John: He said the-

Geoffrey: Hey, that's a writer talking, I don't know what I'm talking about.

[Laughter]

Beth: His-

John: Actors have different internal stuff. And by the way, I gotta give Aldis an enormous amount of credit, this was the first shot. This was the first thing we set up. And again, I had actually blocked the shot differently, I wanted to shoot the other way out through the windows, and David said “oh John it's a great shot, but why don’t we just point the camera at him this way and - parentheses - we’ll get twice as much footage and it won’t look like shit - close parenthesis.”

[Laughter]

John: ‘Oh, ok we’ll do that.’ 

Geoffrey: He's a king.

John: This was kind of the archetypal episode, which is why I was attracted to- of all the episodes chosen from, directing. Nate’s in mission control, Parker’s running around, you're on the computer, Sophie’s running a grift, Eliot’s got fights. I mean each one really- this is the Avengers issue. You know, where everyone sort of exhibits their superpower.

Geoffrey: And I love-

John: And you were dumping enormous amounts of speeches.

Geoffrey: Thank god for you.

Aldis: And this was the first time that I think, a computer’s been kicking Hardison butt.

John: Yeah, and this was- that was important.

Aldis: I mean, he really had to fight for it.

Chris: And you played it like a real worthy adversary. 

Geoffrey: Yeah.

Chris: I think that was the key, was that it had to be this Steranko, which gave a great name to the- gave it a menacing, you know, air to it.

Geoffrey: Thanks Chris.

Chris: You feel like you were going mano y mano with it.

John: Naming it was actually pretty crucial.

Aldis: Well I went to Juliard to pretend against computers-

[Laughter]

Aldis: It's part of my majors!

John: Great visual effect, by the way. We shot this much later, we didn't shoot it during the episode.

Beth: No, that was a reshoot.

John: That was a reshoot yeah.

Geoffrey: Oh lasers, who knew lasers were so easy.

John: The acts were the wrong length. And so we needed to rebalance the acts, and so we grabbed this as a reshoot later.

Beth: What was-

Geoffrey: So nice, that was all my fault.

John: Yeah we did that when we edit, the acts were the wrong length.

Chris: I think it was just the pace of the show was just much faster than we normally were, and that's why.

John: Yeah, this one really flies.

Aldis: I have a question for you Beth, you're always stuck in these vents and everything. One, how comfortable is that to be shooting?

Beth: I don't mind it, I don't know. I mean, when my son comes to visit set we play in them anyways.

[Laughter]

Geoffrey: Oh my god, really?

Beth: Yeah they’re really-

Chris: I've never seen anyone look better in a vent, by the way.

[Laughter]

Chris: In the history of cinema.

Beth: Thank you, thank you.

John: You rock a vent.

Chris: You rock a vent!

Beth: I work really hard at it. No, I dont know it’s fun, I don't mind- I like it in there actually, it's kinda fun.

John: Quiet and soothing.

Aldis: Also are they real vents or do they build them mostly?

John: This was one of my favorite- they're built, they're built, we can't use real vents.

Beth: This was a fun shot.

Aldis: I got you.

John: This was a fun shot. It’s her assuming a personality in four props on a walk. And I- we couldn't quite get the camera in as tight as I wanted, but look! Boom, she's another human being. Just like that.

Geoffrey: Yeah.

Beth: Yeah that was a good- I love that shot actually, that was fun.

Aldis: Glasses do it for me. They do it for me.

Geoffrey: They work, right?

John: The glasses, a lot of people like the glasses.

Beth: I got a lot of compliments on the- Aldis said it, and like all the cast were like “Hey, I like the glasses.”

Geoffrey: Little known fact, boys like glasses. Boys enjoy glasses. Just throwing that out there.

John: On the magic episode, too, when you had the glasses outside on the cover episode. It was a nice look.

Beth: Yeah, but-

Geoffrey: I told my wife that and she refuses to believe it. I'm like wear the glasses, wear the glasses.

Aldis: Wear the glasses.

[Laughter]

John: This was also a lot of fun because it was allowing Hardison to run point. Essentially he’s- you know, at this point very much, you know, Nate is the general, and he's the colonel on the ground. He's the only one who understands the Steranko; it's a very empowering episode for the character, even though his ass is sitting in an office the entire time.

Aldis: Exactly.

Beth: Yeah.

John: And that was a lot of fun to figure out exactly how to get everyone into the building. I mean this one was a puzzle. This one was really-

Geoffrey: It really was, it was way- it was my fault, and it's my pleasure and my fault. Because we- I thought it was gonna be an easy slam bang thing. And it- just the logistics of keeping track of everybody, and giving everybody good stuff.

Chris: But that's the challenge we always have. 

Geoffrey: That’s true.

Chris: Making sure we know where everybody is.

John: But we got the focus of everyone’s in the same place.

Chris: Right.

Beth: Yeah.

John: Which we don't always get. Everyone’s in different locations within the same place, which was nice to establish the- it was an interesting trade of starting an action and then giving pipe, which is something we don't ordinarily do.

Beth: It was tricky, for me anyway, cause I hadn't met Richard yet, so I was doing all this stuff-

John: I'll tell you when we get there.

Beth: Yeah.

Aldis: Yeah.

John: Cause that's one of my favorite missed opportunity directing stories. And there's- Lisa’s killing it. I love the way Lisa and Gina played these scenes.

Beth: I know, me too.

John: There was a real hostility.

Chris: I like that. I love this beat too, of how she's- Sophie's superpower is she's able to zero on the one person that's not freaking out in the room.

Beth: Yeah.

Aldis: Yeah.

Chris: Yes this kinda can tell-

John: She reads people.

Chris: Who the villain is.

John: And again that's why I was attracted to it. As the first script, Geoff had kinda written the most pure Leverage episode we've had. You know, everybody was very right on it. And by the way I wanna- and finishing each other's speech- sentences was very much their idea. But I would like to note this whole sequence was just easier to shoot cause we were shooting in between rain. It starts when we pick them up walking down from the walkway.

Geoffrey: Right.

John: And so we just shot all those pages continuously, because we couldn't wait for rain. So they banged out like five six pages at a time.

Geoffrey: It was crazy.

John: That's why you'll notice everything’s on steadicam, because Gary would just come around and pick each one of them up. And, you know, Richard- it's cold up there, man! 

Beth: Yeah.

John: And Richard didn't miss a- there was one- he changed one of the words, not even made it wrong, just changed it. And he came over and he was like “oh dear boy, I'm sorry I changed that word”. I’m- like that's like Sully apologizing for landing the plane on a river-

[Laughter]

John: -and the luggage carts came open. Like what the hell, what did you- what is your problem? This is great. This was a ton of fun doing tragedy cam. These people have no idea they're company is not-

Beth: [Unintelligible] was really excited about this.

John: Their company is not actually closing.

Chris: I love using the inner office mail, too. The idea is like-

Beth: Teah.

Chris: How did they hijack the inner workings of corporation for their own ends?

John: Yeah.

Chris: And it's interoffice mail!

Aldis: Mail!

Geoffrey: Just speaking as a fan, a lot of the fun of watching this shows is these people are so amazingly good at their jobs. So the fact that they throw away so much of what would freak me the hell out if I had to do even the smallest aspect of this-

John: Competence porn.

Geoffrey: Yeah, they're just so competent, and like not worried about the things that would be driving me insane. Like can just- can I get from point A to point B.

John: And I would like to say, we tend to throw away things that would be entire acts in other shows.

Geoffrey: That’s true.

[Laughter]

John: They're like in the toss away. I love this. And unfortunately, Richard wasn't available for that conversation, so you were acting into empty space, and you were doing a great job.

Beth: Thank you. It was hard.

John: I'd like to say. It was hard and you were sick as hell that day, too.

Beth: I was sick and I had a fever, I think.

John: A fever for acting.

[Laughter]

Beth: Oh stop it!

Geoffrey: Josiah!

Chris: Speaking of fever!

John: There's Josiah! Oh my god! Talk about a guy who came in and turned a small role into something bigger.

Beth: He was really funny.

John: Even in the auditions, we were like, “Alright, we're writing more for this guy.”

Geoffrey: Yeah, we wrote more because he was so good. Actors, you can have that happen.

[Laughter]

John: He- cause he's a pretty good looking guy, but he’s just a little dweeby, and he comes across so awkward.

Beth: And there were- on my take it was so hard. I mean, I know I never break, I never crack when I'm acting with anybody.

[Laughter]

Beth: But it was- it was like- I had to like bite my cheek a few times really hard because he's a- oh I started to crack, and then.

John: Yeah don’t- you’re very bad at that.

Beth: I don't know! I get- it’s funny!

John: As long as somebody’s laughing, I’ll take that.

Beth: I'm not as bad as Jimmy Fallon.

John: No, well. There you go.

[Laughter]

John: This was also a lot of fun actually coming up with the various and sundry security devices. And we went through like- that's a digital window rig, by the way.

Geoffrey: Oh, man.

John: Instead of- because the building itself was only four stories tall, and was digitally enhanced. We just had to put- to get that shot, we had to put a digital washing rig in it.

Aldis: Now, in that last scene I assume Eliot went to go beat up those guys for their-?

John: No, he bribed them.

Geoffrey: He bribed them.

John: He actually bribed them, he didn't beat them up.

Aldis: Ok, cause I was about to ask-

Geoffrey: Eliot doesn't beat people up unless he has to.

Aldis: How does he not have like carpal tunnel or something because of hitting stuff all day?

Geoffrey: Are you kidding? The first version had him climb- literally climbing up the outside of the building with like sucker-

Aldis: Oh man!

Geoffrey: And him just bitching all the way up the side of the building.

John: And then we realized that that would probably attract a crowd. 

Geoffrey: Yeah.

John: People would go “Hey, there's a dude scaling that building.”

Beth: Spidermanning it!

John: Might not be as subtle as we wanted. This was a ton of fun.

Chris: By the way, I love that shot, too, coming up on the table, of the two of them squaring off.

John: That was Gary Camp! Gary Camp saying he can get- he- our “A” operator said, “I can get you the transition out of black,” and he came up and then he crawled along the table with the camera on a wheel that we kinda hacked together to get us the push in on the table.

Chris: Oh.

John: Cause that table was like 15 feet long.

Chris: Oh man that's great.

Aldis: Yeah, Gary Camp is a trooper, man.

Geoffrey: He's a superhero, that guy.

John: Yeah, this is actually also one of my favorite-

Beth: I love this.

John: Gina's delivery on that, “I know, it’s ridiculous!”

Beth: It's so good!

[Laughter]

John: So mocking. So viscous. Because- it was an interesting scene to work on. Geoff and I were working on this. You have to know exactly- you're playing exactly the woman to annoy her. And it was fun telling Lisa like “Alright, this is the pretty bitch that's gotten under your skin since you were a geeky science girl and you were 12. You hate her so much.”

Geoffrey: Just on principle.

John: Yeah, and it really gave her the motivation of, you know, “You're an idiot.” And that is- that was also the trick, to get people to give up the evil speech of evil. 

Beth: Yeah, that's always- yeah.

John: Like, why say it? Well, the reason you say stuff like this is to rub other peoples noses in it.

Aldis: Yeah, right.

Geoffrey: “I’m smarter than you!”

John: So Geoff, the horrible blight that could wipe out the American-

Geoffrey: Is actually real! 

John: It's actually the one we talked about.

[Laughter]

John: This is all real. 

Geoffrey: It’s really scary.

John: This is the least made up one we've ever done.

Geoffrey: We were so scared.

Beth: I love it when I'm reading a script and I do my research, and I'm going online I was like “Wait this is- what?” 

[Laughter]

Aldis: Damn, oh that's messed up

Geoffrey: That happened to us! We were like-

John: The basement! We're getting a bunch of [insura?] to shock them!

Beth: Uh, guys?

Chris: Well certainly no American business would ever unleash something that would create a demand for their product, I mean that would never happen.

All: Noooo!

Geoffrey: Not us, we’re the good guys.

John: Never!

[Laughter]

John: It's a- and you know, this is an actual problem that they are having with genetically modified crops, which is they're just getting out. I mean that's the nature of pollen and seeds, they get out.

Geoffrey: Nature.

John: And the problem that we’re having now is that genetic modified crops that are owned by copyright are infecting other farmers' crops. The farmers accidentally raise those crops, and then the companies can go in and seize that land because they have-

Geoffrey: Copyright infringement.

Chris: Right, it’s copyright.

John: It’s intellectual property. Their wheat is intellectual property.

Aldis: That's terrifying.

John: We’re way down in crazy at this point in the way this works.

Geoffrey: Yeah, it’s actually so scary, the things we think we're making up. And then we see what real people really did with it and we’re just like “oh, oh dear god.”

John: Yeah.

Geoffrey: You know?

John: We don’t- there are days when we don't sleep well. And I also love that- this was Derek Frederickson, the fifth Beatle, giving us a great video display. 

Chris: Mhhm.

Geoffrey: Yes.

John: Of “Well how do we explain this? oh it's the outbreak model!” 

Geoffrey: Right.

John: It's just- when you see a map of, like, red spreading over the US, you know that's bad!

[Laughter]

Beth: Yeah.

Aldis: Yeah!

John: We- you don't have to necessarily follow exactly why.

Chris: The first version had blood dripping down over the country.

Geoffrey: You don't want a spread of red!

John: Illustration of a fat child becoming thin. That was- those were a little harsh.

[Laughter]

Beth: Oh my god.

John: This was also fun, was figuring out the tag team. Like, you know, she can carry it so far. And again, it was the nature of the in media res of the structure of the script, is everyone carries the football a little bit farther down the field, you know. This is- and that's a digital-

Geoffrey: That roof was so awesome.

Aldis: Yeah.

John: And that's digital Boston behind them, actually. That's just nothing but river behind them.

Geoffrey: That's right! Oh right.

Beth: Oh yes!

Geoffrey: Holy crap.

John: There's no city there.

Chris: There’s mountains there, right?

John: Yeah, there’s mountains there.

Beth: It kept raining up there.

John: Oh god did it keep raining. That was a really- and when we got up on that roof I remember I had a different place in mind, and I'll give Dean credit for this cause- I’m a very cautious person, I have a plan m. And I had a different location that was actually in a construction site nearby, and Dean went “You got this roof! You have to shoot on this roof!” “I don't know about the rain.” “Give it a shot!”

[Laughter]

Beth: You didn't want to cause you don't like heights.

John: Well also I don't like heights.

Chris: Well I think-

John: But that was only four stories, I was fine with that.

Beth: Yeah, I was about to say you were pretty calm, actually.

John: I was pretty calm with that.

Aldis: It’s not 44 stories.

John: No, the time I didn't like heights is when I was 44 stories up with you. 

Beth: Yeah.

John: Call me crazy for not liking that.

Geoffrey: Oh the Chicago stuff?

Aldis: Yeah.

Geoffrey: I wish I was there.

John: Yeah little miss crazy here skipping along the edge of the roof. “Oh this is fun! This is great!”

Geoffrey: “Come back from the edge!”

Aldis: Now this is about the longest time that we've all five spent apart-

John: In the script, yeah.

Aldis: Individually. Because usually we're all split up, but at least in pairs. Or something like that. Was that planned? Or how did you go into that?

Geoffrey: I gotta say, that wasn't a plan in the sense that I wanted you guys separated. But as a fan of this kind of material and a fan of this show, I love the fact that you guys are like the kings of your different countries. And the best way to show it, is to have you just be running that country. So like what John was saying, I didn't intentionally go “OK, this is gonna be the great moment where we see Hardison versus his greatest computer adversary.” It just sorta worked out that way.

Aldis: Yeah.

Chris: It was very much dictated by the story, too. 

Geoffrey: Yes.

Chris: Because this episode kinda takes place in real time, more or less.

Geoffrey: Yeah, yeah.

Chris: So there weren't a lot of opportunities with Parker trapped in the building, and Nate and Archie on the roof, to bring everyone together to like, regroup.

Geoffrey: That's right.

Chris: That wasn't a real moment that leant to that.

Geoffrey: And I wanted to see what you guys would do if you didn't have the time- what you guys, what the characters would do if they didn't have the time.

Chris: *Whispering* They're not real.

Geoffrey: They are so! And they're real to me man!

[Laughter]

John: This is the problem.

Geoffrey: They're real to me!

John: I wanna give Josiah a big shout out here. 

Aldis: Yeah.

Beth: It was so-

John: We added this scene. 

Geoffrey: Yes.

John: We were like we needed the transition scene, it wasn't originally that, we gave him that speech.

Geoffrey: Because he was damn good.

John: The 40- and I think he winged the 40 is the new 30, and just-

Beth: I think he did, too.

John: He improv-ed that whole speech. And it was just so awkward and unpleasant, and it was just flawless.

Chris: Here’s the window washer.

Geoffrey: Poor Eliot.

Beth: He did it- I think he did it like three times and each time it was equally- I mean, it was just so good every time he did it.

John: And also to basically call out where we were talking about each character isolated, that's why we had to give each person a specific problem or story antagonist. 

Geoffrey: Right.

John: So- because there was no one else to play off of.

Chris: Right.

Beth: Yeah.

John: I mean, so, you had to have the Steranko, you had to have the security guys. You know, Nate had to have-

Geoffrey: Archie.

John: Archie. And Gina- Sophie had to have the doctor. Eliot is basically just freeballing it, but he was-

Chris: Eliot’s is the side of the building.

John: Yeah, Eliot is-

[Laughter]

Chris: He has to get up the building.

Geoffrey: This was discredit Eliot year. 

Chris: There's the blood red country.

John: There you go, that's bad.

Beth: It looks scary.

John: Yeah, exactly.

Beth: Red.

Aldis: Makes me think of Christmas, and Santa.

John: Oh god, this was- we threw this together.

Beth: Oh that was so- yeah didn't we just-?

Geoffrey: That was, right?

John: That was late at night.

Beth: Last minute. That was like three in the morning.

John: Yeah, it was three in the morning.

Chris: Now John, were you thinking about like what direction people were going in? 

John: Yes

Chris: In terms of the cutting pattern, how’d you keep track of that?

John: Suzanne, scripted it.

Chris: She did? She said “OK, previously we had gone left to right, now we’re going right to left.”

John: Well it was more I figured it out geographically where the office was, so I knew that that person had to be going this way, that person had to be going that way.

Chris: Ok.

John: And it just sorta presented itself. But this is, by the way, all green screen. 

Geoffrey: Yeah

John: And it's a great green screen, it's got a little wind going, it's got a little off focus which is the crucial thing in green screen, you can't have the background in too good a focus. And this was tough and you were amazing in this.

Geoffrey: Yeah.

John: What this is the- you have to choose. You have to- this is like Parker's new morality.

Beth: Yeah.

John: And so what were you thinking when you dove in there?

Aldis: She's becoming human.

Beth: The blocking was hard on that.

[Laughter]

John: That was tough. You were yelling at Christian and he was through a window.

Chris: He gave you one of those acting things and you were like “I had something in my shoe.”

[Laughter]

Beth: I know, sorry that didn't really answer that-

Geoffrey: Become [?]

Beth: I really like my ponytail is really-

[Laughter]

Beth: No, I- what started outside the door-

John: Well the power comes from the ponytail.

Beth: Yeah, the power of the ponytail. Well, there were so many different beats to play in that.

John: There's a turn- you have to motivate your own turn in that, and that was just tough.

Geoffrey: Sorry.

Beth: Yeah, and then I think it's also the comm stuff. 

John: Yeah.

Beth: Taking into play, always when- you're in a scene with one actor, but you know the rest can hear you. And so it's like you're thinking with that, but she's just going off base. Yeah, she's taking her on turns and all of that stuff. So it was interesting along with the physical blocking, I had like two inches to move, when my body- all I wanted to do was rant around the room.

John: Oh, that's right, the room- 

Chris: Oh.

John: The way the camera was set up in the room, she was constrained to about three feet of being able to shift her weight back and forth.

Beth: And I kept running off camera.

John: When what you wanted to do was pace.

Beth: Yeah, right.

John: And it made sense for you to pace, by the way. That was exactly the right instinct.

Geoffrey: But played- the mental pacing plays on your face.

Beth: Yeah.

John: And it's kinda nice actually, the way it- again, you get lucky, it means Parker is bound.

Beth: Yeah.

John: That physical energy. And this is one of my favorite bits. We shot this at 3 o'clock in the morning, blew out that back. And he was great, by the way. 

Geoffrey: Yeah, he was great.

John: He was actually a stunt player who wound up being a great day player. And this is the Wolverine and Kitty scene. And it really is one of those- I have no problem with characters just appearing.

Beth: Yeah.

John: As far as I'm concerned, that's what you guys do.

[Laughter]

Chris: But he- but he was just out on the window line, we know where he is.

Geoffrey: And he had a crowbar in his hand!

Aldis: He walks through walls.

John: And by the way, that little spin, that's not in the script.

Geoffrey: No ,they just did that.

John: They just did that.

Beth: No, I don't know if I can say about that actually, but Christian and I- I don't know if that was one of those moments that were like “Were we rolling on that take?” 

[Laughter]

Beth: No, not really, but you know how we do things with each other sometimes, and then that makes it in, and that's the one that was like- oh that was so great.

John: Yeah, no, that was fantastic. And then the little shit eating grin. And again that was an echo of the Parker/Eliot team ups that we started doing in second year.

Beth: Yeah.

John: That they are- Parker and Eliot as a team are a lot more dangerous than the rest of the team. They actually modify their behavior when they are with other people. 

Geoffrey: Yeah.

John: It gives you kinda a different vibe when they're together.

Beth: It's fun, we get to be competitive in that sort of brother/sister way. And also he acts like he, you know, doesn't care what I think when really he does.

John: Yeah. Well we saw that in the finale. 

Beth: Yeah.

John: It's a lovely moment when he turns, when the guy says leave them behind.

Chris: He's a softie.

Beth: Also to give Nadine Haders a prop. She designed that costume- the costume I'm wearing from scratch, she built that.

John: Oh the opening break in costume was great.

Beth: Yeah, yeah.

John: I remember the first time I saw it she was like, ‘A ninja look.’ I was like, ‘I dunno about ninja look.’ And she showed it to me, like, ‘Ahh that's pretty freaking cool.’

[Laughter]

Beth: Yeah she designed it, found all the leather.

John: It also pulled off really nice. So for the unveil, that was a lot of fun.

Beth: It was very cool.

John: There's Eliot choking out some dude who's just trying to get to his pension.

Geoffrey: I know, poor guy.

Chris: Oh that that shot-

John: Some nice CG, a nice stairway extension.

Geoffrey: This is my favorite scene, that was-

John: This is what she does!

Geoffrey: The two of them arguing about the rope, riding the rope.

John: He's not gonna ride the rope.

Geoffrey: What are you, high?

Chris: Oh and let's talk about that prop of the scanner. Now John, what was that prop made out of? I had some really fun-

Beth: Oh my gosh.

[Laughter]

John: That prop is an ipod touch turned sideways, 

Chris: Right.

John: With flash animate- the animation running on it. And then with the-

Chris: A black and decker level, right?

[Laughter]

John: A black and decker laser level.

Geoffrey: That’s amazing.

Chris: It's great- by the way, we never mentioned one of the things on the finale was that the EMP bomb was made out of two, uh, Williams-Sonoma woks.

[Laughter]

Aldis: Yeah, the woks!

John: Eric Bates is our great-

Beth: Wait, what was made out of woks?

John: The bomb!

Chris: The bomb!

Beth: Oh my-

[Laughter]

John: The bomb was made out of woks.

Chris: Made out of Williams-Sonoma woks.

Geoffrey: Oh, that’s great.

John: I love this, the pure rage that they've been played. This is an extended- this is an extended villain must suffer beat.

Geoffrey: “Dammit!”

John: Yeah, and finding them gone. This by the way-

Chris: Oh here we go.

Beth: So good.

Geoffrey: Love this.

John: Here we go! Beautiful.

Beth: Yes I loved that! Christian is so good. I just have to say for a second, the people think that he- is so good at this stuff.

John: Now that was-

Chris: No, wait, look at this moment, I love this.

John: I love this, you're great in this.

Beth: Oh and I-

[Laughter & Cheering & Yelling]

Geoffrey: That's gold! So not scripted!

Beth: Oh I did-?

Chris: And I liked improv-ing it!

Geoffrey: Gold!

Beth: I know I just-

John: For a minute you almost gave him a kiss, it was just-

Beth: I just had thought before we did that take I was like “Oh I should- she would think like that's the right thing to to do, but wait, I don't do that” and then-

[Laughter]

Beth: And then she leaves him hanging.

John: It was perfect.

Chris: Boy did that kill me. There it is! There's the super prop!

John: That double beat, that double beat of Christian- and by the way, we did not have the slide kick in the script.

Geoffrey: No.

John: I showed up on the set and I walked around the corner and there's my actor, like, sliding like a five year old on the floor going “Oh, you know what we could do on this?”

[Laughter]

Geoffrey: He's a madman.

Chris: And this is amazing, this vault.

John: Oh, this by the way-

Chris: Look at that!

Aldis: That's awesome.

John: Becca did a great-

Geoffrey: Becca! All about Becca.

Aldis: The blight!

John: Great set design.

Chris: So wait. Were the lights behind each one?

John: No, no, there was one big light and what they did is they put a yellow on all of these clear pieces of plastic and blew it out. This, by the way, we cannot give the alarm to work so I am offscreen yelling, “Eehh! Eehh! Danger! Eehhh”

[Laughter]

Chris: Look at this, here's your movie shot John, right here. 

Geoffrey: Right here.

Chris: Look at this! people running! trucks!

Aldis: Run like you mean it!

Geoffrey: It was really amazing.

John: And the second after that shot ends we run out of extras.

[Laughter]

Aldis: Exactly.

John: It is an empty plaza a half a second afterwards. This was a ton of fun getting hazmats- and again, Portland really making this possible, there's no way we could've gotten this in LA. These are local firemen, and you know, we made a donation to the city, and it really- they really stuck around all day listening to me yell through a megaphone, it was really great of them.

Aldis: Meanwhile there was a real fire going on that they couldn't attend to because they were shooting- filming our show.

Geoffrey: Shhhh.

John: But we did make a donation to them-

Aldis: We gave a donation, we gave a donation.

Geoffrey: Priorities! priorities!

Beth: Did I mention we donated to them?

John: Yeah, it's just we gave them teddy bears or something for the kids-

Aldis: Yeah we did. 

John: Cause they lost everything.

Aldis: Lollipops, John, lollipops.

John: The point is we made a television show, and that's what's important

Geoffrey: Just for the other fans, I was perched up in a window of the nearby skyscraper watching this scene unfold. It was like amazing to see, it was so cool.

John: Just the scope of that with the-

Geoffrey: Yeah all these things happening!

John: It was great, it was very- that's actually, the back of the building was a very contained parking lot.

Geoffrey: God I loved it.

John: And again the geography of this is tricky as hell, and Derek did a great job of laying out “ok here's the map.”

Geoffrey: Yup.

John: “Here's what we're seeing, these are the elevators.” You know. 

John: That's a great profile shot. She nailed it. And the gun! And you know what they're going to do. 

Chris: There you go.

John: And his panic is fantastic!

[Laughter]

Geoffrey: Yeah.

John: He really is flawless.

Chris: “All is calm!” Very Kevin Bacon. “There is no reason to panic!”

John: “There is no reason to panic!” That's exactly what it is-

Chris: Kevin Bacon in Animal House.

Geoffrey: Oh! Oh, come on, that zoom? When the lady walked in? Out of nowhere to yell at us?

John: Most people don't- we won't go into details because the person might well watch this show, but-

[Laughter]

John: When we do those shots everyone has to freeze and then we run the steadicam through the crowd. And as we did it, everyone is frozen and suddenly this woman “tack tack”, you can hear her heels, “tack tack tack tack”. She comes into the shot, and there was a misunderstanding about how we were using the building, she thought we'd shut down the elevators. But it was just this really surreal tableau of fifty frozen people in place and one woman like storming through the middle of it.

[Laughter]

Geoffrey: She was really mad.

John: Just really- it was like, what- is this happening?

Beth: In a rage.

John: Is this like a dream? What was actually great too was Troy, our focus puller, instinctively pulled focus on her all the way through the shot.

Beth: That’s right!

Geoffrey: It’s beautiful.

John: He just- he didn't even realize he'd done it, he just tracked her all the way.

Aldis: Blooper!

Chris: Yeah, I know.

Beth: It’s nuts, he just instinctually kept her in the-

John: Kept- could not have a moving object and not focus on it. 

[Laughter]

John: Yes, her “I have these giant furnaces in these basement”, she managed to pull this off wonderfully. This is- she's a horrible human being.

Chris: Yeah it is. And this is all- Geoff this is a great evil speech.

Geoffrey: She gets two evil speeches-

John: She gets two!

Chris: She gets two, and this one I love.

John: Yeah, the- and this “Your plan has unwittingly helped me, you're all fools.” She really should crush a small globe in her hand at this point.

[Laughter]

Chris: Head of a scorpion.

John: Yeah, exactly.

Aldis: It's the reporter!

[Cheers]

John: Sophie Soong, she was fantastic as Janet Lin. And we wound up- that’s one of those great things about television, we just used this character once, and then we needed a reporter for later one, and we used her. And then- she's actually in the finale, her scene wound up being cut, and it was just one of those things where when you find local actors you like-

Geoffrey: Yeah.

John: They make the world seem more real because you see people again and again in your real world, you know. Nice flashback, the two of them- this actually, my favorite directing scene just because Richard was originally in this- and this is a thing for young actors. Richard was originally in this scene, but of course he has no dialogue.

Geoffrey: He's just there.

John: So we just wanted to reestablish geography, he was with Nate at this point. So we finish the blocking and I call cut and stop on the blocking and he goes “Dear boy, you can't possibly want me in this scene.”

[Laughter]

John: And I said to Mr. Chamberlain if “Dear boy, you can't possibly want me in this scene” means you don't want to be in this scene, I believe I agree sir.

[Laughter]

John: You can return to your trailer. Just the- I've never been shut down so classily.

Chris: Oh, there it is!

Aldis: Look at the wind blowing.

All: Ohh!

Chris: That's an iconic shot right there, we knew that when in the room when we had that.

John: That is an iconic shot.

Beth: Christian and Gina battling over the hair toss.

John: Both of them with the hair toss.

Beth: That was all greenscreen on stage.

John: That was green screen, that was actually them on a window washing rig-

Beth: Yeah.

John: And we, like, lifted you fifteen feet above in that shot.

Geoffrey: Yeah, that’s fascinating.

Beth: And here's the quietest location of the movie, I mean of the episode.

John: This is where the train going over every 15 minutes.

Beth: Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang!

[Laughter]

John: So this is the weird bit. This is the first time shooting, Beth meets Richard.

Beth: Yeah this is the first time I met him.

John: Yes, exactly. This is a great- and by the way we talked about cutting this “I don't like you” scene and it is crucial, absolutely necessary for the set up.

Geoffrey: They're different people.

John: Yeah, they're different people, we need to set up. His- and I will say as fantastic as this scene is, and it is one of my favorite things we've done in three years going on four, the rehearsal was so amazing I was literally-

Beth: I can't believe we didn't shoot it.

John: We can't because it's two sides!

Beth: I know-

John: You can't light both sides.

Beth: But literally I was like- the second I met him, and we started the scene, the rehearsal, it was like-

John: I know, his face was like-

Beth: Crazy.

John: The crew was crying.

Geoffrey: It was brutal.

John: And it's like- it’s physically impossible to shoot this from both directions. There's no way to light it. And I cursed that moment, I cursed that, I just- ah!

Geoffrey: Yeah but we got to see it, so ha!

Chris: But I mean did you take from that as a director like not to rehearse or to not to-?

John: Well, no, there was- it was blocking. It was- the actors had never literally been on the set before-

Chris: There's no way to avoid that.

John: There was no way to know that was gonna happen. You know, we thought it would just be a blocking moment, and then you with the tears.

Beth: Aww.

Geoffrey: Parker, I love Parker.

Aldis: The first time we’ve seen Parker like this.

John: This moment is what makes this show worthwhile, I mean this whole bit.

Geoffrey: No, you guys and the scene with the faith healer, was the time-

Aldis: Yeah, but with the faith healer-

Geoffrey: That one was like oh damn, put me back in the chair, I was like damn.

John: By the way, that's a killer look.

Aldis: For her to be sentimental towards another-

Geoffrey: Another person, that's true.

John: And the wink. And that- I love, by the way, that turn, by the way, you killed me. I will say that I- that is just a deadly thing to have in your acting tool. Great sky, thank you Portland for raining.

Chris: And there's a version where the train went through, right?

Geoffrey: Yeah, we thought we had it.

John: Yes, but the performance is better here. 

Geoffrey: Yeah.

John: And I know it killed me. What happened was we actually called cut and wrap and we were packing up and then we saw the train coming.

Beth: They were like, ‘Trains!’

John: It was like, ‘Het the fuck back on the set! Go, go, go!

Geoffrey: It was awesome.

John: ‘Get on your marks!’

Beth: But I also like that you were tossing around a few endings there. And I like that ending, but I loved the idea of the Butch Cassidy - the ending on our backs walking away.

John: I know the other shot, but I lost the acting moment. 

Beth: Yeah.

John: I mean that's- and when push comes to shove, actors doing really impressive stuff wins over pretty visuals.

Beth: I know.

John: You know?

Aldis: And-

John: At least it does for me.

Geoffrey: Thanks.

Beth: Yeah, no, I liked it I just- I was saying you had good ideas for the other- good ideas.

John: No, we had a lot of good stuff. Oh we’re well past the ending.

[Laughter]

Beth: Oh.

Aldis: Thanks for watching people!

John: Thank you for watching.

Chris: An episode for [unintelligible]!

Geoffrey: Awesome! Awesome!

Chris: John and Geoff!

John: Put in the next DVD, it's great.

[morizoras-cave]

Kid problems (Request)

MCU cast x child!reader, mostly Scarlett Johansson x reader and Mark Ruffalo x reader

Genre: angst, fluff

Request Description: Please may I request a mcu cast x child!reader where the kids the daughter of a new female superhero actor (made up) and the cast finds up she’s been verbally/ physically abusive so the kid and confront the lady about it and comfort the kid? You don’t have to if this makes you uncomfortable though!

Warnings: physical and emotional child abuse, language, mean insults, bad mom

(A/N): i thought i wasn’t going to write today but i had a (not so) busy day and i fell asleep for like three hours and now i cant sleep, so here we are! ya’ll i feel like this one kinda sucks but lets not talk about it. not proofread as always

“Stay quiet and be polite, and for God’s sake, don’t be so clumsy like you always are!” your mother spoke roughly, eyes on the road in front of her. “Knocking things over and ruining everything..”

“I won’t,” you mumbled quietly. 

She had recently made her big break as an actor, landing the role as Abigail Brand in the Marvel universe. As far as you understood, she had met her coworkers a few weeks ago and it had went well. 

Now, she was bringing you to meet them, because apparently they had spoken about how it was cool for kids to see a movie set, and your mom had run out of excuses not to bring you.

You were determined to be quiet and polite and to not be clumsy. All you wanted was to please your mother and make her proud. She just always seemed so angry. But that was your fault.

“Alright, we’re here,” your mother sighed. She exited the car and opened your door, practically dragging you out of the vehicle and into the filming area. You didn’t really understand anything or what anything was, so you just stayed quiet and stayed close to your mother, although avoiding touching her. She was always extra violent after you did so.

“M/n! You’re here, and with this little nugget?” a man with a funny beard and cool sunglasses came up to you. He smiled and then crouched down to your level. Your mom laughed awkwardly. “What’s your name?”

“Uh, Y-Y/n.” 

The man smiled at you and you smiled back cautiously, looking to your mom to see if it was okay. She seemed annoyed like always. 

“She’s shy, huh?” the man joked, and got up again. You watched, anxious to mess up. Maybe this time you could finally satisfy your mother and stop being such a useless child.

“Yeah, she is. I try to tell her to be more talkative, but she’s just naturally like this,” your mom smiled warmly at the man. Now you were even more confused. Did she want you to talk more? No, right?

You were introduced to the rest of them. Their names were Robert, Mark, Chris, Chris (again), Jeremy and Scarlett. They were very nice to you. They were very careful and caring, and it made you wish your mom was like that. 

You mostly just watched them work and talk. Eventually you sat down drawing, because you were bored.

“Can I see that?” Scarlett asked, gesturing to the drawing you were working on. You shyly nodded and stopped drawing, putting the crayons down. “Woow, that’s so pretty!” 

You shook your head, “no, it’s not.” Scarlett looked at you in confusion. 

“Why would you say that?” she asked, caressing your arm carefully. 

“My mama says my drawings are bad,” you mumbled. Scarlett looked up at your mom in confusion. Your mom was already dashing over to you, having heard the conversation.

“She means her nana, I call my mom mama and so she calls her mama.. My mom is not very good around kids,” your mom explained away. You furrowed your brows. You didn’t mean nana? You and mama stopped talking to nana long ago. 

Scarlett, who had previously tensed up, relaxed and let out an understanding laugh, “oh! I got worried there for a second!”

Your mom made a strained smile and then looked down at you. She had that glint in her eyes, although her face was friendly, you could tell she was disappointed. You teared up right then and there, so tired of disappointing her.

“Alright, Y/n, let’s go to the bathroom,” she grabbed your small hand roughly, and pulled you away from the nice adults. Tears rolling down your face, as your mom brought you into the women’s bathroom. 

“You little-” she cut herself off, gritting her teeth and checking if there were people in the stalls. There weren’t and she turned back to you with that angry face. 

“How dare you? Can’t you ever just stay quiet like I tell you to? You useless child! You were a mistake!” she hissed. It hurt you so bad, it felt so bad, and your crying worsened as you attempted to stammer out an apology. 

Your mother slapped you across the face. “Stop crying, you nuisance,” she said and indeed you forced yourself to stop crying. You held it in, trembling. 

Meanwhile Scarlett and Mark had been walking past the bathrooms, when they heard the slap. Of course, to them it could’ve been a lot of things. They exchanged glances, and Scarlett had said that she’d check it out. 

She walked quietly into the echoing bathroom, stopping when she heard the sound of angry and aggressive whispers.

“You’re so stupid and useless. You have no talent. Just stay quiet from now on! Shut the fuck up.” 

Scarlett was shocked to hear your mother’s voice. It took a moment for Scarlett to realize who she was talking to, and the thought drew a very real gasp out of her. Now, not giving two shits, she stepped away from the wall to see your mother crouched down in front of you, an almost animalistic expression on her face.

“M/n! How dare you!” was all she could say. Her instant reaction was to simply walk over to you, and get you away from your mother, but as she tried to your mother grabbed your arm. The both of them tugged at you.

“Get away from my baby!” your mom yelled. The commotion drew Mark to enter the bathroom, bewildered at the situation. Your mom and Scarlett both tugging at you, and you in the middle, red face and puffy eyes, conflicted as ever.

“What’s going on here?”

Mark’s sudden presence startled your mother, and in a moment of surprise, she let go and you fell into Scarlett’s grasp. She picked you up in her arms, and just started walking out of the bathroom.

Mark followed, looking between you and your mother. Scarlett didn’t know where she walking, but far from that witch. 

“M/n was- she was saying these horrible things to Y/n. Like, seriously horrible things,” Scarlett said. Meanwhile she rubbed your back and held you close, something that made you feel so nice inside. Your mother never did that. 

“I think what we heard was- Like, a slap?” Scarlett said, and when she met Mark’s eyes, he too had gotten a serious and worried look in them. He turned to you, resting on Scarlett’s chest.

“N/n, uh, did your mom hurt you, by any chance?” he asked and you stirred from your resting place.

“Hurt?”

“Like, hit you in any way?” 

“Mhmm,” your simple hum, like it was the most normal thing in the world, made the two adults’ hearts sink. 

“ScarJo, Ruffalo!” Chris (Hemsworth) greeted, but his cheerful welcome, did nothing to cheer up the two shaken adults. 

“Downey, you gotta call the Russos and tell them to get another Abigail Brand,” Mark instructed, while Scarlett put you down on the couch and then looked down the hallway to see if your mom was running after you. Ominously, she was nowhere to be seen. Scarlett couldn’t decide what was worse: if she had run after you, or the fact that she just left you. 

“What? We’re weeks into filming?” Chris (Evans) exclaimed. Him and Jeremy were sitting by a table behind Robert and the other Chris. 

Scarlett gave them knowing look and pulled up the sleeve of your small, purple sweater. Your tiny arm was littered with bruises, now and old. The others’ eyes widened, and there was a moment of silence where everyone looked at each other in confusion, anger and hurt. 

“I’ll go talk to them,” Downey said, smiling to you softly, before disappearing to somewhere else on set. 

“Where is M/n now?” Chris (Evans) asked. Him and the other two, Jeremy and Chris (the other one), seemed much angrier (not that the others weren’t but perhaps a different type of angry).

“I don’t know, I think she left in the opposite direction,” Scarlett murmured and Mark nodded. Without a word, Chris, Chris and Jeremy stood up and started walking down the hallway to find your mom.

You just watched in confusion mostly, as everyone scattered purposefully. Mark and Scarlett then finally turned to you. 

“Where’s mama?” you asked innocently. The two shook their heads.

“Your mom isn’t good for you..” You furrowed your brows. 

“What do you mean? Does she not want to be with me anymore? Can you tell her I’m trying really hard? I don’t why, but I keep messing up,” you said, your lip trembling. You could cry again. Was your mother leaving you, disappointed in your work at being a good daughter? 

“No, no.. Your mom is the one is that wasn’t good enough for you. Moms shouldn’t hit and yell at their kid like that..” Scarlett sighed, holding your hand comfortingly. 

“Oh..” was all you said. Your mom was fired and the proper authorities were called. You didn’t really know what happened, but somehow your entire day-to-day changed. You started talking to a nice lady, who was trying to explain to you why your mom was bad. You still didn’t understand it, but hopefully you would in the future.  

You were adopted by some very nice old people. The adults from that day stayed in touch with them, and sometimes some of them came over with their kids and you played together. 

The day you met them, changed your entire life, and when you did grow up, and you realized why your mom was ‘bad’, you felt eternally grateful to them, for putting your life on a better course. And you made sure to let them know, when you did meet them every once in a while. They were just happy to see that you were seemingly unscathed by this, and that your mom’s evil actions hadn’t ruined you in any way. You were happy and bright and you could thank it all to them. :)

___________________________

Tag List:

@hera-the-writer​ @marvel-madness​ @40srogcrs​ @whatthefuckimbisexual​ @ireadfanficforfun

[egoat]

marvel study

I’ve been rewatching the Marvel movies, not just out of a fit of profound insanity, but out of an interest in wrestling with exactly what they are, and what’s wrong with them. Their “reputation” has been sinking through online circles like a lead balloon, with a general consensus gathering around the essay Martin Scorsese published in the New York Times back in 2019. In that essay, he highlights the major problem being that these movies, and particularly their ever presence, is regularly dominating the market to the extent that cinema owners don’t want to show alternative and independent fare. This problem has only dramatically worsened since then, with Disney having the resources to weather an endless pandemic and continue to produce movies that may or may not be safe to see in theaters, where their competition has been so scarce that they now stay in theaters for sometimes over 6 months, long enough to bridge the gap until the next one, shattering nearly entirely the illusion of free choice. In that time, “discourse” has continued to chew on the issue of these movies, which always have huge budgets and always deliver financially, but are always the same, and are indeed such whales as to be bullying nearly all other cinema out of existence. This has produced the argument that they are simply “junk food”, which I would agree with - they aren’t really meant to be judged as though they’re groundbreaking art, and it’s fine that they’re “samey” and commercial. Of course, it’s easy to enjoy McDonald’s if you don’t have to work at McDonald’s. I’m not going to pretend as though I have an answer to the issues of consumption under capitalism, though I think most people have come around to the cynical acceptance stage of their lives and realized that their personal choices don’t make a difference, but I digress - what about the movies themselves? Whether they’re trash or art or not, what exactly is going on in them — because, to be frank, Hollywood has generally produced “trash”, regularly, since the inception of the medium, sometimes great, sometimes offensive, sometimes weird or fascinating or simply engaging. I’ve seen the weird diehard nerd accounts that float up to the surface when a lot of people make fun of them and may or may not be real people posit that this “wave” of Marvel movies is going to be remembered as great genre classics 50 years from now. Clearly there’s a degree of cultural disconnect here worth investigating.

To start with, I’m not against comic book movies really at all — I like comic books, their material, their characters, and I’m probably one of the few people actually interested to see what is done in an adaptation with certain ideas. I’ve watched all of these shitty movies and been variably entertained or bored by them or genuinely impressed by some of their more weird and sci-fi influences (I think the Peter Dinklage section in Infinity War is probably the best, whereas everything that happens in Endgame is probably the worst). If you’re against the very principle at this point, I don’t blame you, though I’m probably not going to say anything that interests you. “Iron Man” began with a novel concept — take more or less the performance Robert Downey Jr. did in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, sub in some worse but passable Bendis-esque dialogue, glue it together with some pretty rote Saturday morning cartoon villain and CGI action sequence, and ship it with a recognizable brand name that people might be interested in seeing. It’s pretty easy to look back at the early movies especially and cringe, with them being influenced heavily by the now ubiquitous Favreau and/or Whedon school of filmmaking — quippy, simple, straight-to-the-point dialogue with jokes that will please families and incels, peppered with a lot of sci-fi references and in-jokes that don’t really matter. This embryonic stage of Marvel movie development does interest me though, because it contains a lot of interesting ideas that later get filtered out by raw efficiency - dipping into multiple genres for influence and pacing for example.

While on the topic of “Iron Man”, I could address Marvel’s “politics”. Since it is true that these movies take money directly from the U.S. Defense budget, I don’t think there’s that much argument to be made. The depiction of Captain America driving out Hydra, a supposed secret white nationalist parasite that has infiltrated every section of the American deep security state would sort of be interesting, and probably a lot more liberals would have co-opted it as meaning something had the movie come out two years later, except that that movie rarely even remotely addresses the fact that Hydra are Nazis. It’s only interested in the “spy movie” to crib a few style points and surface-level references — in true Favreau’s can of references fashion, it wants to put in Robert Redford to remind you of his much better spy movies like Spy Games, but it doesn’t want to critically engage with any of the ideas that spy movies concern themselves with, like the problems and paranoia endemic to a surveillance state, the disconnect between deep state administration and democratic governance, and the issues of politically conflicting agendas. You can’t really blame any of these movies for this mistake, though, and I’m sure even reading that I sounded like a cunt, because these movies really wouldn’t have time to do any of that stuff if they tried.

By The Winter Soldier, Marvel movies had fully cut out their own “inefficiencies”, and their pacing had become much like a rollercoaster - less like an “emotional rollercoaster” as people generally use the phrase, but much more like being on a literal rollercoaster. Moments of levity (always humor, and always more or less the same kind of humor - either a too-cute quip back and forth, or the naturalistic conversational kind that would actually be funny given more time to breathe) only exist to provide a brief amount of regulated runway between plot development (exposition) or CGI’d action sequences that are overlong and are nauseating and confusing to watch. By this point, these movies have no true “drag time”, merely the illusion of downtime provided in utilitarian bursts. It’s a nightmare of Whedon-esque wall-to-wall dialogue, a parade of noise. Simply watching the movie and trying to keep the rhythm of it is fine, until the second you are unglued from it, and you realize what it is doing and how it is doing. This is where the critique that Brian Jordan Alvarez mentioned in one stand-up bit is most prescient - “I feel like I missed whatever context there was to justify everything that happens on screen”. I didn’t initially relate to this, being happy to nod along to what was going on on the screen, and doubly contented that whatever little I knew about comics was filling in the gaps of what mattered in the story, but I did more and more the more I watched these movies, and the more they gained in speed over time.

I want to go back to Iron Man for a second, specifically Iron Man 3. Iron Man 3 is still firmly in what I’d say is the “standard definition era” of these movies, before the pacing’s speed increased and the budget given to the CGI increased to the point of being limitless. It still follows the same basic formula, a CGI villain to fit a CGI action sequence, but it does seem to want to genuinely differentiate itself in some ways. It adds at least a degree of novelty to the action by removing the Iron Man suits as consistently as it can from every action sequence, and tries its best to complete a character arc with Tony Stark in what limited time its given to, giving what I would say is a genuinely decent depiction of anxiety in the process. It utilizes its actors for more than a quick shot of their faces in a layer of CGI or an under-a-minute “heartwarming” sequence, and despite being loathed at the time (at least as I remember it) for inducing Marvel fatigue and also having a character named “The Mandarin”, it was, I believe, a very good example of how a movie can succeed within this “structure”. At this point, these movies still have a lot in common with the X-Men movies of the earlier 2000s that they hearken from (with the CGI in Iron Man 3 being especially similarly). While those movies weren’t always seen as great, they never attracted as much of either the attention or ire that Marvel movies now get, despite being fundamentally similar in most ways. Why is that? It could be just the cultural and financial weight of the Marvel-Disney mega-corporation, but I choose to believe the answer is more structural.

X-Men generally takes a more traditional approach to its characters, not unlike (the successful earlier) DC Movies try to tend to do, depicting them as having outsized, larger-than-life personalities that have naturalistic qualities but still are supposedly imposing forces. There was some 4chan post I pretty distinctly remember about this distinction — it had a Rob Liefeld-drawn Civil War-era Captain America as its image, and bemoaned the fact that in comics, comic book characters are near forces of nature, that their impact is felt, whereas in Marvel movies, characters are reduced to having pretty much the same, light-hearted, quippy personality, which makes it feel as though nothing they’re doing really has any stakes. Even though this guy was pretty clearly some kind of freak right-wing chud, I couldn’t help but see his point - when Chris Hemsworth walks out of the room in the MCU’s Civil War after nearly killing Iron Man, I suspect there is supposed to be some kind of emotional weight in that moment that just isn’t there as assigned by the dramatic score. When the moment is more or less taken back 10 minutes later in another jokey sequence, I don’t think anyone is surprised. Captain America is just some guy, Iron Man is just some guy, and Marvel’s gambit on making Civil War interesting in the space of one movie length largely did not work, because these movies give characters, conflicts, and personalities no time to breathe under the unrelenting weight of their pacing and their formulaic structure. The central conflict of there being consequences to superhero behavior provides a particularly jarring disconnect as you’re suddenly supposed to feel torn seeing the hidden casualties in the different angles of sequences that were absolutely just full of nonsense explosions and comedic back-and-forths at the time. In X-Men, the conflict between Magneto and Professor X is perhaps a little rote, but is always significantly felt and at least partially explored from the perspectives of multiple characters throughout the films. In Civil War, I think I could count the lines of dialogue given to the “discussion” about the central point of difference that divides the characters prior to their overlong action sequence fight, and even the characters themselves sound tired of “discussing it” during that brief time, quickly snapping to slightly-more-pointed jokes in the process. Pacing is again the core of the problem, the black hole at the center of these movies, draining away even the chance of their attempts at greater complexity succeeding.

That all said, I still watch these movies, and enjoy them, and even defend them. Why, if they’re supposed cultural heat-death and meaningless and lack substance? Well, I do genuinely find them entertaining, and I am interested in their source material and how they adapt them. I think the newest Doctor Strange movie was really good, and I think Sam Raimi did a lot to try to counterbalance the still-existing pacing issue in that film, and make both a genuinely interesting conflict (well, debatable) and genuinely good and dynamic action in the process. Getting to the fun, sci-fi concepts can be the “point” — I think a lot of comic book fans are actually more interested in Marvel movies now that they approach the territory of the more modern runs, dealing directly with alternate universes, and bizarre clashes between aliens and gods and whatever else. All of this is probably much to the chagrin of the rest of human civilization who is completely exhausted of these films bullying the rest of cinema out of theaters. Would it be best if Disney could simply be written out of existence, preferably by some application of anti-trust law? Yes. Is it an ethical issue to keep watching these films? Probably, but only in so much as like, eating meat is, which is to say, I don’t know, don’t think about it so hard, nothing matters anyway, who cares. In the meantime, I hope whoever’s really in charge of this shit, the cryogenic Eisner-brain puppeting Kevin Feige, will at least allow their directors more basic creative control over these properties, because I still think there is a lot of creative potential for these things to be interesting. By the way, all the TV shows on Disney+ that they made are really bad. Okay, thanks for reading my essay.

[imaginesmai]

Sebastian Stan - We’re a team

Mixing two requests, @squishybebe​ about an interviewer being rude to the reader (I know you said flirtry, but this is what came out, I’m sorry!) and an anon about his son interrupting a meeting. I hope you all like it!

Plot: no interview is boring since having your adorable four year old son, who needs his father as much as he needs him.

To say that Sebastian was bored was an understatement. It had reached a point where he had just resigned himself with looking at the guy in front of him and nodding a little when required.

The questions were too predictable; how did it feel to be playing one of the characters in something as big as the MCU, how was it to work with great actors like Evans or Downey, and how had it been his work out routine that had gotten him fit for the films. The interview wasn’t anymore about his new film, Endings Begging, but more about gossip. Even if he didn’t talk much, the guy was answering himself as he did the question.

“And did you have to cut on any type of specific food, like burgers and other stuff?” he asked and didn’t stop to let him answer. “Because I’ve seen your TV spot about ‘cheat day’ and you seemed pretty eager – you actually ate it after it cut off?”

Sebastian gave him a tight smile, as the guy started talking again about the obesity in the united states. He had caught the camera guy dozing off a few times, and his manager was no where to be seen anymore. From all the interviews he had done, that was without any doubt the most boring.

And the worst thing wasn’t that he was stuck there with his tight jeans, it was that he had brough you and Luca to the plato in hopes of finishing soon and giving you a tour around. Your little boy had just turned four and everything with lights and colours was amazing to him; as long as he didn’t have to stay in the same place for more than a few minutes. He got angsty and started crying, and he already felt bad enough when the clock reached the hour in there.

“Would you say you’re a role model for little kids?” the interviewer attacked again. “With your violent characters and –”

He was cut off by a thud, and everyone’s attention went to the clear glass door, including Sebastian’s, his heart quite literally rocketing out of his chest when he saw who was outside the door. Before he could even react, Luca was jumping up and grabbing the handle, the door effectively swinging open so fast that it could have broken if he wasn’t a little kid.

“Daddy!” Luca screeched, his face red and tear-streaked.  “Daddy!”

You appeared behind him the next second, looking around wildly until you found your kid. He was way too fast for you to catch, and Sebastian watched as his four-year-old kid rounded all the tech equipment and ran into a woman’s legs. She stumbled and glared at him with such fire that Sebastian felt felt anxious, but Luca didn’t seem fazed, as he rushed over his dad with his arms raised.

It was then when he noticed the what the problem was, sympathy forming in his chest as Luca slammed into his legs. You were apologising softly to the people he had ran over as you jogged towards the pair.

“I – I had an accident!” Luca sobbed with such a despair that Sebastian felt his heart ache.

The whole team were all looking at him with their eyebrows raised, the interviewer going as far as scoffing and trying to look around for someone to fix it. You landed on your knees beside them and, even if Luca had ran from where you were playing with him, the little boy reached a hand for you to take.

It had been a month since the last incident, and Luca felt really proud of it. No more wetting the bed at night when he had to sleep alone and no more staining his favourite trousers when you took to long to go home. He reminded you every day that he was already a big boy, and that soon he would be wearing a cool suit like daddy when he goes to the ‘flashy place’.

Luca sobbed even harder when Sebastian rubbed a comforting hand against his back.

“Um, can someone – take care of this?” the interviewer chuckled, looking directly at you. “We were working here, and you’re kind in the middle of something.”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m sorry” you blushed in embarrassment, trying to pry Luca from Sebastian. The boy had an iron grip on his father. “It’s just – he ran out of the room, I’m sorry. I couldn’t hold him.”

“Yeah, well, you should. You can’t let him run off like that, he’s going to become a brat” the interviewer talked, missing how Sebastian was sending him glares with his eyes. “What kind of mother can’t hold his son?”

“Why don’t you keep your opinions to yourself?” Sebastian scoffed. “Come one, we’ll get you cleaned up, yes?”

His voice was softer when he talked with Luca. He placed his hands under Luca’s armpits and hoisted him into his lap, not caring about the expensive sweater he had chosen for the interview. Wiping the tears away from his son’s face, he pressed his lips against your cheek and assured you that it was fine. He watched Luca’s index and middle finger disappear into his mouth. Usually, he would tell him off, but even he felt anxious with so many people looking at them.

The guy got up too when Sebastian neared the door, wide eyes and gripping his notebook. He gestured to the camera to stop recording for a second and ran towards you.

“Why are you leaving? We aren’t over” he said as Sebastian looked back to him. The interviewer took a few steps back when he noticed the angry scowl on the actor’s face. He looked between you and him, hesitant. “She can – she can take care of… him. You know, let the man of the house work. You can’t… leave.”

He attempted to joke with Sebastian, chuckling, but he wasn’t having any of it. Instead of laughing and handing you Luca, he secured his grip on him and gestured you to open the door.

“I can and I will, actually” he answered as he bounced Luca up and down. “What you can do is never talk about my wife like that again, she’s as much as a parent as me, and she doesn’t need to take care of anything so that I can work. If you ever do it again, you can have a chat with my layer next, who will be very happy to hear from you”

Leaving the man open-mouthed, you left the recording room behind Sebastian closing the door behind you. You hadn’t looked up from the ground, only to check periodically on Luca, who was calming down now that he had his daddy with him. Still, there was a small proud smile on your face.

“Daddy?”

“Yes bubba?” Sebastian replied, looking back to check that the door was closed.

“Mad?”

Sebastian smiled softly as he stepped into the hallway, reaching with the hand that wasn’t holding Luca to yours. He gave it a soft squeezed, answering to your unsaid question and Luca’s one at the same time.

“Nah, it was being too boring without you. I’m always up for any of you if you need me”

Luca hid his face on Sebastian’s neck as you made your way to the spare room where you had been playing with Luca. The floor was covered in books, stuffed animals, and a few dolls that he had been playing with, mixing them in some childish fantasy about a castle and a lost prince. You didn’t say anything as you entered the room and let Luca on the floor. Bringing your travel bag, with spare clothes, you cleaned Luca in the small bathroom and changed his clothes between the two of you, putting the stained ones in a plastic bag.

You didn’t say anything as Luca talked the silence away with his ramblings about what his daddy had missed in the hour he had been away. He showed him the drawing he had done and Sebastian told him that he could go and play for a while.

Luca skipped away as you leaned against the sink.

“I’m sorry for letting him run away” you started, quite embarrassed that your four-year-old had crashed Sebastian’s interview. “When I realized what had happened it was too late, and he was already calling out for you.

“No, that’s – I don’t want you to apologize draga mea” Sebastian frowned. “I’m the one who has to apologize, I should have cut the interview sooner”

“You don’t have to cut any interview for us” you smiled at him. “I should have had a better hold on him. Your work is important, Seb, and we can’t go crashing –“

“No, my work isn’t important” he interrupted you, and with a long stride he was in front of you. “You’re important, cause you’re my family. And it’s fine if you interrupt an interview because Luca or you missed me, I can handle a few angry words from the team. But what I can’t handle is you thinking that it’s your duty taking care of everything, alright? We’re a team”

“Quite a team” you chuckled, looking down at the bag with the stained clothes.

“Yeah, but you’re my team, so that’s fine”

You didn’t say anything else and Sebastian leaned in for a kiss, in that small and shitty bathroom. Indeed, you made a good team.

Want to read more? Check out my side blog @imaginesmaimasterlists​, where I keep all the masterlists! Feedback is always appreciated

[dtrhwithalex]

TV | Leverage (Season 2, Rewatch)

Rewatch of the second season of TNT's LEVERAGE (2008-2012), created by John Rogers and Chris Downey together with Dean Devlin and his production company Electric Entertainment.

In anticipation of the show's reboot / revival / sequel LEVERAGE: REDEMPTION coming to IMDbTV on 09 July this year, I am rewatching the original 77 episodes and writing about my favourite moments and things from each episode, season by season.

201: THE BEANTOWN BAILOUT JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 15 July 2009.

We here at the Rabbit Hole adore the Beantown Bailout Job very much (and by we I mean me). It is such a great season-opener and everything about it sets up the season so nicely. Also let me just say, I love the cheesy intro. I like to imagine that this plays on whatever website the clients usually end up finding the team. It would be so confusing. And wonderful.

This episode, of course, also introduces another of my favourite characters: Lt. Patrick Bonanno, State Police. And I am very sad that there is zero chance we'll ever get to see him in the reboot, since the wonderful Robert Blanche has unfortunately passed away last year. Bonanno was such a fantastic addition to this show and I love him very much. He is just brilliant in every episode he is in.

Aside from the introduction of Bonanno, Beantown is a brilliant episode for various reasons, but I wanna talk about this one most of all. John Rogers talked about this on his blog, I think -- not one member of the team can come straight out and admit that they need the others. It is the impromptu meeting at Sophie's performance that brings them together again (very much against Nate's best attempts). Only once they're at McRory's and Parker suggests stealing something to cheer up Sophie is when they all fess up and tell Nate that they want this team back together again. And then, of course, we have one of my favourite sequences in this entire show: Nate forcefully being bullied back into this family. They do exactly what he did to them in The Second David Job -- they get him to contribute knowledge to the case that they, allegedly, lack. And he knows what they're doing, of course, he's not an idiot. Well played, indeed.

I would also like to personally thank one Nadine Haders, this show's most brilliant costume designer, for every single piece of clothing she put on Christian Kane for this episode. That green sweater with the brown jeans jacket? All my love to you, Nadine. All of it. Also, uncharacteristically, Nate has some very good looks in this episode (the man looks healthy for once!) and I am unreasonably mad about it (actually, he has some very good looks this entire season).

One last thing: I would like to have a word with whoever decided to play the Andy Lange song here that Sophie's departure in The Two Live Crew Job is set to. It makes this first half of the season a circle. Who do I need to have words with? Who?

202: THE TAP-OUT JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: ALBERT KIM. Original Air Date: 22 July 2009.

An absolutely amazing episode for Eliot but also very much for Sophie. They are the Conference Of Mom Friends, and I adore them very much, thank you. It is a fantastic episode for them individually, but especially also for the specific relationship these two people have. There is an amazing post floating around on this website (this one here) talking exactly about this episode and Eliot and Sophie in the role of protectors in their team, their family.

There are a few scenes here that I really like and really, most of them are about or with Eliot. I love in the briefing at the hotel that Eliot does not just dismiss Sophie's misunderstanding of wrestling, but takes the time to explain to her what the sport is about -- and she listens. We also here get a nice glimpse at the fact that Eliot teaches them certain fighting skills and self-defence techniques, which I just love so much. Just as Sophie coaches them all in their grifts, he makes sure that they all have a certain know-how in fighting and protecting themselves. It's so good.

I am also very fond of both the moment where Eliot brings Sophie to the restaurant to meet with Rucker, but also Sophie showing up at the gym at night to talk to Eliot while he's preparing for the fight against Tank. Eliot gives away so much of himself in this episode, and it is very interesting to me that the person he does this with is, continually, Sophie. The others may be on comms, and might be, for all we know, listening in, but it is Sophie he tells these things to. It's like Hardison says later in The Two Live Crew Job: "We trust Nate to make sure the plan works, we trust you (Sophie) to make sure we're all okay." While I would not necessarily call Sophie the heart of the group (that's Hardison), she is very much the emotional centre of it.

This episode is also just very lovely to see how they all take to an environment that is, for once, not big city life. Eliot takes to it immediately, which makes sense, because he probably is from a town not much different from this one. Parker, somehow, fits in immediately as well (I love her I <3 Nebraska shirt). I feel like Nate never has any issues fitting in anywhere, he just takes things as they come. It is Hardison and Sophie who have difficulties -- Sophie because she is, after all, a bit posh and needs certain standards met, and Hardison because his world of technology does not mix well with a small, rural Midwestern town ("Can't hack a hick" anyone?).

203: THE ORDER 23 JOB

D: ROD HARDY. W: CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 29 July 2009.

I occasionally see some posts on here that call what the team does to Charles Dodgson in 512: The White Rabbit Job the worst thing the team does to a mark. I have to say, objectively, I think what they do to Eddie Maranjian in this episode is much worse. Of course, Dodgson is a good person, and Eddie is a crook, but still. Objectively? This episode is more evil.

Anyway, this episode has some fantastic moments that I adore a whole lot. I love Eliot and Hardison as cops, Sophie's act is absolutely amazing, and I have a super soft spot for both Nate teaching Parker what he is doing, and also Eliot and his side quest of helping Randy.

I am so incredibly fond of all these little moments where Parker's eventual role of Mastermind is already being planted. She always asks Nate questions, if she doesn't have a part to play in the con, she is with Nate, learning. She says it in the pilot episode already: "I'm really good at one thing, only one thing, that's it. But you, you know other things, and I can't stop doing my one thing, can't retire." And then she does her best to learn the other things Nate knows. This episode particularly, how Nate explains to her how NLP works, that what he is selling is fear. Nate is so patient with her, too. I love them both so very much.

Eliot's side quest with Randy and his abusive dad is an absolutely excellent addition to this episode. Especially after the previous Eliot-centric episode, this small thing just goes to show that, at their core, these are good people. Yes, they are criminals, the lot of them. But they are not bad people. Things like this just make me think that, it had to have been this exact combination of people Dubenich put together. Any other thief, any other hacker, and Nate would have walked away from this alone. It had to be Parker, Hardison and Eliot for this to work exactly as it did. And Eliot looking out for Randy even though they are in the middle of a con, taking his time to make sure Bob, the U.S. Marshall goes to see Randy, is exactly something that brings this point home.

Lastly, I adore that everyone shows up at the court house when Eddie goes to find his money. He knows they all conned him, but they know no one is ever going to believe him. It's a fantastic gloat scene. And I also really love that Nate explains why this works to the others: "So, here's everything you need to know about criminal law. Every crime has two elements, Actus reus, the act itself, and mens rea, Literally "The Guilty Mind." ... Now, for escape, the prisoner has to both break out of custody and show the intent to escape. ... Which brings us back to our friend Eddie and how the brain reacts to fear. In the heat of the moment Eddie didn't ask himself a simple question, who would doubt his guilty mind?"

204: THE FAIRY GODPARENTS JOB

D: JONATHAN FRAKES. W: AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 05 August 2009.

This one was Bernie Madoff inspired, if I recall correctly, who was arrested in 2008, around the time Berg, Downey and Rogers were already bouncing ideas back and forth for this season.

There is so much to love in this episode! Where to even begin. Maybe with Parker replacing Sophie at the client meeting? Or Sophie immediately heading for both popcorn and the cookie tin after the breakup? How about Parker perching on Eliot's arm rest with her food? Nate's headmaster act? Eliot as Coach Brewer (red is a fantastic colour on him, thank you Nadine)? Hipster rich newlyweds Parker and Hardison? The return of my beloved FBI fools McSweetheart and Taggert? Taggert being McSweetheart's biggest supporter in his affection for Parker? Sophie and Widmark? The actual science-sical with all these adorable kids singing about science?

So much to love. Chock-full of greatness, this episode. Also Frakes, once again, directed the hell outta this. I love this episode so very much.

One moment that does, however, absolutely win out over everything else, is the scene at Nate's apartment after Hardison and Parker meet McSweeten and Taggert again:

Eliot: One of you two can identify the gunman, right? Hardison: Oh, yeah, sure. He stopped and let me take a picture of him as I was chasing him. Eliot: Hey, you know what, man? I've been around little kids all day. I don't need to come home and do all this crap.

That line, Mr Spencer? "I don't need to come home and do all this crap"? Home? Sir, we are four episodes into the second season, and you are already calling Nate's apartment home. Honestly, that boy has been invested into this group as a family from the moment Hardison hands him a check in the pilot episode, if not earlier. And I am very much here for all of it.

205: THE THREE DAYS OF THE HUNTER JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: MELISSA GLENN & JESSICA RIEDER (GRASL). Original Air Date: 12 August 2009.

This is another one of those episodes which, when I think about it, I am not entirely into, but then when I watch it, I always love it. It's a brilliant episode, but the mark rubs me in all the wrong ways and I think that's why my general reaction to this episode in theory is mostly "ew". Which I think is kind of the point, as well.

There is much to love in this episode, though. Sophie being Nate in this one, Nate being very wary of this concept and also having difficulties letting someone else take control ("If you don't mind, I would still do the 'Hardison, run it' thing" Nathan you precious little man, I love you so much). I think it's so nicely done. I mean Sophie has run cons before -- she was the Mastermind behind the First David Job, and she runs their con in the Second David Job as well -- but then she was confident, now she is going through things, on the brink of rediscovering herself for who she is. And of course, it bites her in the ass a little bit.

I absolutely adore Conspiracy Nut Hardison and his fantastic apartment. Set Design did a magnificent job here. I am so fond of Parker asking Eliot about the different things -- the council, the moon landing, Loch Ness monster -- and also very much the bit at the end where he and Hardison answer Parker's questions while he prepares food. That ending bit overall is just absolutely excellent and I love it with my whole heart. Eliot cooking for all of them in Nate's kitchen, giving Parker stuff to try, while Hardison sits there and sips his orange soda out of a wine glass. Meanwhile Nate pouring wine for Sophie, and then going over to her to make sure she is alright. For his slightly more sadistic streak in this season, Nate is so good with Sophie here. And honestly I think this conversation here is one of the reasons why Sophie feels able to leave them for a while. It is Nate's reassurance of "Whatever you need, I'm here for you" that lets her take this leave of absence.

206: THE TOP HAT JOB

D: PETER O'FALLON. W: M. SCOTT VEACH & CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 19 August 2009.

I adore this episode! The fantastic Veach and Boylan on the keyboard for this one (who, I've had to find out, are both tangentially involved with my latest hyperfixation, SHADOW AND BONE -- Veach having written my favourite episode, and Boylan being married to the showrunner), which is just lovely, because they are both excellent.

First off, I would like to, once again, give all my love to Nadine Haders for that Pizza Guy outfit she put Kane in for the recon sequence. A+ costuming, thank you Nadine.

This episode has so many excellent comedic beats and a wonderful many Hardison/Eliot moments. Sophie trying to set up Nate with their client is absolutely hysterical -- especially considering that she had just been broken up with and had been urging Nate to figure out what it is that is between them since day one. I especially love her attempt at finding things Nate has in common with Jameson: "She's a scientist. And well, you're a bit nerdy, aren't you? ... And food, she works with food. Well, you eat, don't you?" Like, girl, what are you trying to do here, really?

I absolutely adore Hardison and Eliot trying to get into the server room so Hardison can access the data they are trying to get before anyone can get rid of it. Eliot hooking Parker's rope to Hardison's belt, Eliot's complete awe at Hardison's ability to remote access their mark's phone ("You can do that?" Eliot, honey, he can do so much more), the two of them wedged underneath the desk, and then, of course, Eliot's huge smile when Hardison hacks the scanner at the door with the help of his gummy frogs. I love these boys together so much, and this episode has given me so many great moments.

I am also incredibly fond of Nate's magician act. That is a brilliant role and it suits him so well. And I love how genuinely enthusiastic he is about magic.

207: THE TWO LIVE CREW JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS & AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 26 August 2009.

This is an absolutely brilliant episode for so many different reasons. Let me get two things out of the way straight off the bat: 1) Where do I address my "Chaos For Leverage: Redemption" campaign to? and 2) Where do I address my "Apollo Robbins For Leverage: Redemption" campaign to? I want both of them back desperately!

Of course, this episode is important as a major stepping stone in Sophie's character arc. Because of Chaos and his bomb, she has to kill off one of her aliases which is the last thing that then leads to her taking a leave of absence to figure out who she is and who she wants to be. That scene in her apartment with the bomb is also just an excellent moment for the team as a family. The care with which everyone interacts with Sophie, Parker's instant pudding hack, Eliot's instructions on how defuse this situation, Sophie's immediate shift into protector mode once it becomes clear that the only real solution is to run and telling everyone to leave immediately, Nate staying behind and even when Sophie tells him to leave, waiting for her by the apartment door -- they care for each other so much.

I also really love the con-off with Starke's crew. It is so nice to see how similar yet different he and Nate are, and the same goes for the other crew members. I adore their individual confrontations a lot. Eliot's non-fight fight with Mikel Dayan, Parker's thief-off with Apollo, Hardison and Chaos' baby monitor fight. It just really highlights who our beloved characters are and what makes them them, now that we see them, metaphorically, in front of their mirror.

And then, of course, the actual heist is also just amazing. I adore that Starke chooses Nate as his alias to gain access, it is such a great move. Parker and Apollo talking in the ventilation shaft about birds is also just so lovely. And as an admirer of Eliot's arms, I am also very fond of his fight with Mikel. Good choices have been made, I appreciate all of them. The reveal at the end is also absolutely amazing. To beat them they had to save them? Brilliant.

Lastly, of course, Sophie's goodbye at the graveyard with Nate. What a spectacular moment. Also just, the visuals are so beautiful. I love the lighting here. And of course the return of Andy Lange's song, which is just perfect. I am so happy that this is the journey they decided to give Sophie when it became clear that Gina would not be able to be in the full seasons due to her pregnancy. They accommodated her so beautifully and gave Sophie such an amazing moment of character growth. This is why I love this show and the people who made it so much. All my love, to all of them.

208: THE ICE MAN JOB

D: JEREMIAH CHECHIK. W: CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 02 September 2009.

We love The Ice Man Job! Another fantastic episode by one Christine Boylan who we love in this house. Our very first episode without Sophie being there, and it's a great one. I absolutely adore how they worked in moments with our favourite grifter in a way that so wonderfully accommodates Gina's pregnancy.

I absolutely adore the moments where all of them eventually end up calling Sophie. Parker, hiding underneath the bar after Nate tells her she'll be the grifter in this one, calling her mom Sophie in a panic without wanting the others to know, but still needing her advice and missing her so much. Then Eliot, calling to complain to his mom Sophie about Hardison going overboard again with the grift, needing the knowledge that his concerns are being heard and aren't unfounded, needs to hear the other protector of the family acknowledge his rightful fear that things will go sideways. And of course also Hardison, calling mom Sophie so she can pick him up from the party help him out of the mess he's made, hoping against all hope that she'll be able to help without having to involve Nate. The others both had the luxury to ask Sophie not to tell Nate -- Hardison had no other choice but to let her call it in. Lastly, Nate too, at the end, calling his wife Sophie. And honestly, I love that Sophie drops her phone into her drink after the call, because Nate is the only one not giving her what she wants to hear. The kids, all of them, called with an "I need you" and that is the one thing Nate doesn't give her.

There are many other things in this episode that I love very much. The opening briefing, Parker feeling alone on the big empty couch, trying to sit next to Eliot, but he makes her move. Nate's big DadTM moment of "Eliot, can you please sit next to Parker" and Eliot's very long-suffering oldest child answer "No! I'm sitting here now."

Then of course Eliot and Hardison's two moments -- Eliot telling Hardison "I ain't bailing your ass out" and then when he eventually does anyway, Hardison's smug joy, forcing Eliot to sort-of-hug him back at McRory's. Eliot's unsuccessful attempt to make him helping Hardison a decision forced onto him by Parker, and Parker refusing to accept the "blame" immediately. Their whole dynamic this episode is just so good. Neither Eliot nor Parker being happy with Hardison in this role (Parker's refusal to ride with him in the Ferrari), Eliot proudly watching Parker do her thing over the security camera ("Stuck it!").

Lots of love also to Pasha Lychnikoff as our main Russian goon, who is just fantastic here, our much beloved Lt. Patrick Bonanno, and also Nadine Haders for so many amazing looks, especially on Eliot.

209: THE LOST HEIR JOB

D: PETER WINTHER. W: CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 09 September 2009.

Court-room episode, which means we have our friend Chris Downey on the keys here, and he gave us an absolutely excellent introduction for Tara Cole played by the lovely Jeri Ryan. Honestly, the more often I watch this episode, the better it gets. Tara is just so good.

Highlights of this episode include: Sophie's immediate "who died?!" when Nate shows up at her apartment in London, Hardison playing "Where is Waldo Ford," Hardison and Eliot in prison, the first appearance of Nate's lawyer alias Jimmy Papadokalis who wears brilliantly loud and obnoxious suits in outrageous colour-combinations, Hardison stalling Blanchard at court security with his keys, Nate's reveal of Ruth as Kimball's daughter (I am fascinated that he completely drops the character here -- he is just Nate now), and of course, the reveal of Tara at the end.

Honestly, this is such a magnificent episode to introduce Tara's character. We have just watched the team scramble and fuck up without Sophie, and then their next job gets more complicated because of this random lawyer who shows up. And she's so righteous and law-abiding and absolutely not someone they should be taking with them on their job. And Tara plays it perfectly. Her honest try at getting Orson to talk to them, her confusion about her "dogs", her excited smile when she gets to con Blanchard and be a bit dishonest -- it is so good. And then we get that complete 180° when the team finds her in Nate's apartment. Not just visually, but the personality. Her voice drops a bit too. Jeri fucking rocked this introduction. The reveal is so damn good.

210: THE RUNWAY JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: ALBERT KIM. Original Air Date: 13 January 2010.

I have zero interest in fashion but I honest to God love every single one of these characters at fashion week. Fashion!Eliot is absolutely fantastical and I love him. Julien, my beloved. Fashion!Parker is very cute with her braid and even before she gets the model makeover she outshines every single other person at the event. Fashion!Hardison is surprisingly understated but I dig it. Tara as Caprina is also just excellent. And I absolutely, un-ironically adore Fashion!Nate. Jacques is such a character. Nate exchanged the usual "obnoxious and greasy" with "gay," slapped some would-be-French that sounds like German on top of it, and called it a character. And I love it.

I also very much love the three video calls with Sophie in this episode. The kids calling in the beginning, complaining about Tara. I absolutely adore both the "she's hot" moment and Eliot's "...and all the way to Europe?" when Sophie says Nate lets what is good for him walk out the door. Parker's little "I just miss you" before they hang up has me all the way up in my emotions every damn time. Tara calling Sophie to complain about Nate is also just excellent. The whole bit with Nate's "I'm sexy because I'm broken" thing is just *chef's kiss*. And of course Nate's call at the end. I love that Sophie hangs up on him, it is so fair, it is absolutely justified. And I think he knows that too.

So many great other moments too -- Hardison's Steven Seagal comment about Eliot's clothes, Nate's "Julien, sweetheart" and Eliot's little clap before taking the money, Nate and Parker at the mark's house, Eliot and Tara vs the Triads, Eliot and Parker at fashion week together ("It's a fashion show, not Thieves'R'Us"), and of course Tara's "For what it's worth, Sophie was right. You guys are the best I've ever seen ... But no one in the world, is as good as you think you are."

211: THE BOTTLE JOB

D: JONATHAN FRAKES. W: CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 20 January 2010.

This episode has got to be one of my favourites, if I were forced to chose some. I love a bottle episode, and this one is just magnificent. Excellent client, great mark, fantastic additional characters, wonderful episode for the team. All around just, so good. Not surprising if Frakes and Boylan are at the wheel together, of course.

The addition of Cora is so lovely. I would have loved to see more of her, to be honest. She is such a great character. I love what her presence does to who we see Nate as. I adore when characters get to show new sides of themselves, it's so nice. Also, Nate's comment to Eliot about him not wanting Eliot to like Cora because she's like his niece? Most excellent.

I adore our three police officers too. Mickey, Danny and Johnny are such great additions. I really liked them. How they just went with whatever Nate was planning and in the end decided to just pretend none of this ever happened, it's just so good.

Doyle and the Liams as our villains of the week are also just fantastic. Also I just love Irish accents, it sounds so good. I love to hear it.

Other highlights of this episode include: Tara's "I'm Trish and I'm lonely", the kids going for their individual emergency funds stashed in Nate's place (they are all so fantastically in character, I love it), Nate using his dad's name as his alias, everyone stopping to see if Nate is going to succumb to the booze again, Hardison's excitement about pulling off the wire in under 2h, Hardison faking the weather, Eliot and Parker on safe duty. Also, rewatching this episode, I am absolutely 100% convinced that what Eliot is doing to distract the Liams from Tara conning Doyle, absolutely categorises as flirting. The way he throws that dart at the board and then buys them beer? Mr Spencer, sir, you are flirting with these guys.

212: THE ZANZIBAR MARKETPLACE JOB

D: JEREMIAH CHECHIK. W: MELISSA GLENN & JESSICA RIEDER (GRASL). Original Air Date: 27 January 2010.

The wonder twins with yet another magnificent episode. No surprises here. We have not just the return of Maggie but also of Sterling! We love this!!! (Seriously, I want both of them back in the reboot. I don't care that they're most closely tied to Nate. Bring them back.)

This episode has so many absolutely excellent moments as well. I love the opening sequence in the bar, with them going over possible next clients together, Nate kicking Eliot for flirting with the bartender, and then of course also Sterling walking in. The interaction Nate and Eliot have here is just fantastic.

Sterling: *walks in* Nate: Eliot, I'm gonna ask you not do do anything violent. Eliot: Wha-what are you talking about? I only use violence as an appropriate response. Sterling: Hello, Nate. Eliot: *responds appropriately*

And to think that Sterling only gets beat up here because Mark Sheppard's son was visiting the set that day and wanted to see his dad get beat up by Eliot. We stan one Sheppard Jr.

I very much love the scene where Nate and Sterling go over what they have on Lundy, and then Parker interrupting them out of nowhere, just sitting there on the counter, like she's been there forever (which she probably has). Also just, fantastic clothes on Parker, thank you Nadine. Maggie showing up here is of course also brilliant and I am very fond of Parker making Maggie a fugitive bag. It is so completely adorable. I love my girl so much.

Another favourite moment is, of course, Tara and Eliot getting Chernov to tell them where the sale of the Fabergé egg will take place. Tara not saying a damn thing, Eliot grumpily doing what Tara tells him to ("Do that thing with your eyes that scares people" / "What -- I don't know what you're talking about"), Chernov's complete unease about this whole entire situation, and then of course Tara and Eliot's other interaction:

Tara: What we imagine is always so much better than reality. Eliot, with the tiniest voice possible: Like love? Tara: *just stares at him, confused*

Just, *chef's kiss* this scene.

The scenes in the embassy are also just excellent. Tara and Nate pretending to be a couple, Nate's inability to deal with the idea of Maggie and Alexander, Maggie and Tara hysterically giggling while talking about Nate, Sterling pretending to be drunk (and incredibly gay) to get Parker access to the egg room -- brilliance, all the way through.

I adore Eliot taking charge of the situation once it becomes clear that Maggie and Nate have been taken hostage. Parker doing her magic and switching the bomb with the empty briefcase in the elevators is beautiful. Maggie kissing Nate instead of Lundy in what could have been their final moment and regretting it instantly the moment Parker shows up is excellent.

And the final scene back at McRory's is also just wonderful. The kids watching the news about Sterling with Tara ("I hate this guy" / "Now, you're part of the team"), and Nate talking with Maggie. I adore Maggie in this scene so much. Her and Nate's relationship is so lovely. We know Sophie understands how Nate ticks, but Maggie knows him so well too, still.

213: THE FUTURE JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: CHRIS DOWNEY & AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 03 February 2010.

This episode is so good for so many reasons. First off, I adore Luke Perry (I'm still sad about him) even if he plays creeps like Rand in most everything I've seen him in. He was just so good. Second, Medium Tara is probably my favourite role of hers. It's a lot softer than many of the other characters she's done, and I love it. Also the costuming is just excellent.

But I want to talk about Parker most of all. The scene where Rand cold reads her is so well done. Riesgraf knocked it out of the park here. Also, I love how Nate, as soon as Rand starts approaching and doing his act, barely ever takes his eyes off her. He occasionally glances at Rand, but his attention is on Parker at all times. And it just makes me feel things.

The team coming back to Nate's to find Parker sitting on the floor in front of the couch, crying also makes me super emo. They are all so very careful with her here. Even Tara, who hasn't been with them for that long. I quite like how Eliot and Hardison choose to sit a bit away, giving her space, and Nate carefully approaches and sits closest to her. They are all so good with her here, I love them all so much. And I absolutely adore this part of the conversation:

Tara: So what do we do now? Parker: Cut off his arms. And his head. Yeah. I wanna kill him. Can we make that happen? Eliot: Yeah, I can...I mean, I could...

Also earlier, after Tara acknowledges that Rand is good at what he does, Hardison says "He should be shot." I adore how both our boys would not hesitate to end this man for hurting Parker like this. That's their girl and he went too damn far. And even though Nate suggests a way of retaliation that is less final, he isn't above hurting the man either. Because that's his girl, too:

Hardison: Nate had me rig the table with a mild electrical current. Eliot: You electrocuted him? Nate, smugly: Yes, I did. It helped sell the bit. Parker: I approve. Nate: Thanks, Parker. Eliot: No, her agreeing with you is not a good thing. Nate, whispering to Parker: Thanks.

And add to that the absolute joy each and every one of them have when fucking with Rand to fulfil Tara's predictions? *Chef's kiss.* Absolutely beautiful.

There is so much more absolutely fantastic content in this episode, but I just wanna point out the ending where they meet with the client again. Nate is so good with them here. The way he talks to Jodie about her baby and how she will see her late husband in the child, makes me cry every damn time. Just like Tara says, "Yeah, now I see why you do it," this is why this show is so damn good. It's because of this exactly. Because for one shining moment within so much suck and tragedy, there is goodness and a wrong that has been made right. They help people and it isn't just fleeting momentary relief. They change people's lives for the better. I love this fucking show so much.

214: THE THREE STRIKES JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 10 February 2010.

First half of the second finale! Patrick Bonanno my beloved! I get so sad every time he gets shot here. My man deserves better than this. I love Bonanno so damn much, man. I absolutely adore that Nate goes to see his family at the hospital. Like, this is a cop. The very opposite side of the law Nate and his people operate on. But he goes to see him anyway, because this is their cop. And I love that Bonanno's wife recognises Nate's name. "He wanted to buy you a drink. And then arrest you." That's just so good.

I also absolutely love Richard Kind as Brad Culpepper, the corrupt mayor. I would love to see him back in the reboot, but I doubt there'd be any reasonable explanation why on earth they'd have to see this particular mayor again. I just think Richard Kind is an absolutely fantastic actor.

Anyway, favourite moments. Hardison and Eliot at Bonanno's house is beautiful. I am so fond of how Hardison deals with law enforcement while impersonating law enforcement. He tears them down and builds them back up again, every single time. And I adore how Eliot just smiles at his antics. He crawls around on that carpet with the young cop and Eliot just stands there and smiles. I love them, guys. I really do. Parker pretending to be Brad's pregnant lover with Tara's help is also just most excellent.

And of course: Roy Chappell. Baseball Eliot, my most beloved. There is so much to love about this whole concept. Eliot's reluctance at first because he doesn't like baseball. The discovery that baseball is actually something cool and something he is good at. His absolute childlike joy at the energy drink commercial Hardison made him. His damn hair during the actual game. The sandwich! The enthusiasm about the sandwich. Hardison admitting that the sandwich thing is cool.

I also absolutely love Hardison and Parker as Beavers Fans. The badly photoshopped picture of Dean Devlin and John Rogers as the radio hosts makes me smile so much. So does hearing their voices on the show. Both Hardison and Parker's phone calls to them are also brilliant. Parker speaking Spanish? Marvelous. The two of them demonstrating the Beavers leaving? *Chef's kiss.*

The final showdown with Brad and then the FBI is also just most excellent. Nate going ballistic on Brad because of Bonanno. Hardison and Lucille. Parker giving Lucille a little kiss before they send her to explode as a distraction. Hardison quoting Spock to say goodbye to Lucille. Hardison being pissed at Nate about Lucille. And of course: Jim Sterling, Interpol. The bastard. I love him.

215: THE MALTESE FALCON JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 17 February 2010.

Second half of second finale! And it's a good one, too. This show has absolutely brilliant finales, lemme tell you.

What do we love about this episode? MUCH. Tara's naked bit is excellent. Eliot and Parker sharing a look after watching Tara's naked bit is even better. Parker turning on the porn channels on the hotel tv is hilarious. Eliot talking to the receptionist about the gym is hysterical ("Ah, the fitness spa. Isn't the Zen Steam Garden divine?" / "Yeah....delicious").

Nate on stairs vs Sterling in elevator is probably the pettiest thing I have ever watched on television and it is absolutely amazing. I don't think anything can ever top this as pettiest moment. It is just so good.

Sterling, of course, is always great fun. I love that he has his own little villain theme that announces him before he even enters the screen. Love a good villain theme. And I adore his moment with FBI Bob outside Brad's hotel room.

Sterling: Name's Bob, right? Bob: Yes, sir. Sterling: You've been here the whole time, Bob? Bob: Yes, sir. Sterling: And nobody's gone in or out, Bob? Bob: No, sir. Sterling: Then would you mind explaining, where the HELL THE MAYOR IS?!

Absolutely perfect.

Nate going back to his place always has me all up in my emotions. Also, I think Sterling here absolutely believes that what he is offering Nate, is good for him. That he can save him from himself or something. They were something like friends at some point, after all. And of course, Nate calling Sophie. She is, of course, unbeknownst to him, already on the way to save his ass. But he calls her and finally tells her exactly what she wanted to hear at the end of The Ice Man Job: "I need you. Not the team, me." Sir. I am emo about you.

And then of course the final con and the reveal of Sophie's return. I absolutely love that Parker's first reaction to Tara possibly betraying them was to try and throw her off the roof. That's my girl (I love Tara, but that was fair). Also just, if you pay attention on the boat scenes, you can see Sophie from as early as Kadjic hearing Nate's offer and then leading Nate and Eliot below deck. If you can pick out her hair and know the colour of her coat from the scene in the helicopter, you know that she is there. And then, below deck, you can see her so many times -- at one point essentially back to back with Nate -- before any of the characters know she's there. And can I just say, I absolutely love Nate's completely shocked face when he hears her voice. Those comedically big eyes are just excellent.

Everyone seeing Sophie again is done so well. Hardison and Eliot's confused "Sophie?" when she walks past. Eliot winking at Sophie after they free Nate. Parker hugging her immediately once her and Tara arrive on the ship. Hardison putting his hand on the small of her back as he passes by her to go down the stairs. I just love them all so much.

And lastly of course, the reveal of the plan, Nate cuffing himself to the railing and making Sterling leave his family alone. What Nate says to them always makes me so emo too: "You guys are the most honourable people I have ever met in my life. You have become my family, my only family. And I will never forget that." John Rogers, sir, we need to have some words once I get this lake out of my eyes. And I obviously can't not mention the kiss. Finally, finally Nate gets his shit together. And she slaps him and it is perfect. And then they leave and he sits down and bleeds and Sterling, for a moment, is genuinely concerned about Nate as a person and not merely about Nate as his only way to nail Kadjic.

Bob: Who the hell is this guy? Sterling: I have no idea. Nate: My name is Nate Ford. And I'm a thief.

Yes. Yes you are, you magnificent bastard.

[image taken from the electricnow website]

[dornish-queen]

Pedro Pascal on Fame and ‘The Mandalorian’: ‘Can We Cut the S— and Talk About the Child?’

By Adam B. Vary

Photographs by Beau Grealy

When Pedro Pascal was roughly 4 years old, he and his family went to see the 1978 hit movie “Superman,” starring Christopher Reeve. Pascal’s young parents had come to live in San Antonio after fleeing their native Chile during the rise of dictator Augusto Pinochet in the mid-1970s. Taking Pascal and his older sister to the movies — sometimes more than once a week — had become a kind of family ritual, a way to soak up as much American pop culture as possible.

At some point during this particular visit, Pascal needed to go to the bathroom, and his parents let him go by himself. “I didn’t really know how to read yet,” Pascal says with the same Cheshire grin that dazzled “Game of Thrones” fans during his run as the wily (and doomed) Oberyn Martel. “I did not find my way back to ‘Superman.'”

Instead, Pascal wandered into a different theater (he thinks it was showing the 1979 domestic drama “Kramer vs. Kramer,” but, again, he was 4). In his shock and bewilderment at being lost, he curled up into an open seat and fell asleep. When he woke up, the movie was over, the theater was empty, and his parents were standing over him. To his surprise, they seemed rather calm, but another detail sticks out even more.

“I know that they finished their movie,” he says, bending over in laughter. “My sister was trying to get a rise out of me by telling me, ‘This happened and that happened and then Superman did this and then, you know, the earthquake and spinning around the planet.'” In the face of such relentless sibling mockery, Pascal did the only logical thing: “I said, ‘All that happened in my movie too.'”

He had no way of knowing it at the time, of course, but some 40 years later, Pascal would in fact get the chance to star in a movie alongside a DC Comics superhero — not to mention battle Stormtroopers and, er, face off against the most formidable warrior in Westeros. After his breakout on “Game of Thrones,” he became an instant get-me-that-guy sensation, mostly as headstrong, taciturn men of action — from chasing drug traffickers in Colombia for three seasons on Netflix’s “Narcos” to squaring off against Denzel Washington in “The Equalizer 2.”

This year, though, Pascal finds himself poised for the kind of marquee career he’s spent a lifetime dreaming about. On Oct. 30, he’ll return for Season 2 as the title star of “The Mandalorian,” Lucasfilm’s light-speed hit “Star Wars” series for Disney Plus that earned 15 Emmy nominations, including best drama, in its first season. And then on Dec. 25 — COVID-19 depending — he’ll play the slippery comic book villain Maxwell Lord opposite Gal Gadot, Chris Pine and Kristen Wiig in “Wonder Woman 1984.”

The roles are at once wildly divergent and the best showcase yet for Pascal’s elastic talents. In “The Mandalorian,” he must hide his face — and, in some episodes, his whole body — in a performance that pushes minimalism and restraint to an almost ascetic ideal. In “Wonder Woman 1984,” by stark contrast, he is delivering the kind of big, broad bad-guy character that populated the 1980s popcorn spectaculars of his youth.

“I continually am so surprised when everybody pegs him as such a serious guy,” says “Wonder Woman 1984” director Patty Jenkins. “I have to say, Pedro is one of the most appealing people I have known. He instantly becomes someone that everybody invites over and you want to have around and you want to talk to.”

Talk with Pascal for just five minutes — even when he’s stuck in his car because he ran out of time running errands before his flight to make it to the set of a Nicolas Cage movie in Budapest — and you get an immediate sense of what Jenkins is talking about. Before our interview really starts, Pascal points out, via Zoom, that my dog is licking his nether regions in the background. “Don’t stop him!” he says with an almost naughty reproach. “Let him live his life!”

Over our three such conversations, it’s also clear that Pascal’s great good humor and charm have been at once ballast for a number of striking hardships, and a bulwark that makes his hard-won success a challenge for him to fully accept.

Before Pascal knew anything about “The Mandalorian,” its showrunner and executive producer Jon Favreau knew he wanted Pascal to star in it.

“He feels very much like a classic movie star in his charm and his delivery,” says Favreau. “And he’s somebody who takes his craft very seriously.” Favreau felt Pascal had the presence and skill essential to deliver a character — named Din Djarin, but mostly called Mando — who spends virtually every second of his time on screen wearing a helmet, part of the sacrosanct creed of the Mandalorian order.

Convincing any actor to hide their face for the run of a series can be as precarious as escaping a Sarlacc pit. To win Pascal over in their initial meeting, Favreau brought him behind the “Mandalorian” curtain, into a conference room papered with storyboards covering the arc of the first season. “When he walked in, it must have felt a little surreal,” Favreau says. “You know, most of your experiences as an actor, people are kicking the tires to see if it’s a good fit. But in this case, everything was locked and loaded.”

Needless to say, it worked. “I hope this doesn’t sound like me fashioning myself like I’m, you know, so smart, but I agreed to do this [show] because the impression I had when I had my first meeting was that this is the next big s—,” Pascal says with a laugh.

Favreau’s determination to cast Pascal, however, put the actor in a tricky situation: Pascal’s own commitments to make “Wonder Woman 1984” in London and to perform in a Broadway run of “King Lear” with Glenda Jackson barreled right into the production schedule for “The Mandalorian.” Some scenes on the show, and in at least one case a full episode, would need to lean on the anonymity of the title character more than anyone had quite planned, with two stunt performers — Brendan Wayne and Lateef Crowder — playing Mando on set and Pascal dubbing in the dialogue months later.

Pascal was already being asked to smother one of his best tools as an actor, extraordinarily uncommon for anyone shouldering the newest iteration of a global live-action franchise. (Imagine Robert Downey Jr. only playing Iron Man while wearing a mask — you can’t!) Now he had to hand over control of Mando’s body to other performers too. Some actors would have walked away. Pascal didn’t.

“If there were more than just a couple of pages of a one-on-one scene, I did feel uneasy about not, in some instances, being able to totally author that,” he says. “But it was so easy in such a sort of practical and unexciting way for it to be up to them. When you’re dealing with a franchise as large as this, you are such a passenger to however they’re going to carve it out. It’s just so specific. It’s ‘Star Wars.'” (For Season 2, Pascal says he was on the set far more, though he still sat out many of Mando’s stunts.)

“The Mandalorian” was indeed the next big s—, helping to catapult the launch of Disney Plus to 26.5 million subscribers in its first six weeks. With the “Star Wars” movies frozen in carbonite until 2023 (at least), I noted offhand that he’s now effectively the face of one of the biggest pop-culture franchises in the world. Pascal could barely suppress rolling his eyes.

“I mean, come on, there isn’t a face!” he says with a laugh that feels maybe a little forced. “If you want to say, ‘You’re the silhouette’ — which is also a team effort — then, yeah.” He pauses. “Can we just cut the s— and talk about the Child?”

Yes, of course, the Child — or, as the rest of the galaxy calls it, Baby Yoda. Pascal first saw the incandescently cute creature during his download of “Mandalorian” storyboards in that initial meeting with Favreau. “Literally, my eyes following left to right, up and down, and, boom, Baby Yoda close to the end of the first episode,” he says. “That was when I was like, ‘Oh, yep, that’s a winner!'”

Baby Yoda is undeniably the breakout star of “The Mandalorian,” inspiring infinite memes and apocryphal basketball game sightings. But the show wouldn’t work if audiences weren’t invested in Mando’s evolving emotional connection to the wee scene stealer, something Favreau says Pascal understood from the jump. “He’s tracking the arc of that relationship,” says the showrunner. “His insight has made us rethink moments over the course of the show.” (As with all things “Star Wars,” questions about specifics are deflected in deference to the all-powerful Galactic Order of Spoilers.)

Even if Pascal couldn’t always be inside Mando’s body, he never left the character’s head, always aware of how this orphaned bounty hunter who caroms from planet to planet would look askance at anything that felt too good (or too adorable) to be true.

“The transience is something that I’m incredibly familiar with, you know?” Pascal says. “Understanding the opportunity for complexity under all of the armor was not hard for me.”

When Pascal was 4 months old, his parents had to leave him and his sister with their aunt, so they could go into hiding to avoid capture during Pinochet’s crackdown against his opposition. After six months, they finally managed to climb the walls of the Venezuelan embassy during a shift change and claim asylum; from there, the family relocated, first to Denmark, then to San Antonio, where Pascal’s father got a job as a physician.

Pascal was too young to remember any of this, and for a healthy stretch of his childhood, his complicated Chilean heritage sat in parallel to his life in the U.S. — separate tracks, equally important, never quite intersecting. By the time Pascal was 8, his family was able to take regular trips back to Chile to visit with his 34 first cousins. But he doesn’t remember really talking about any of his time there all that much with his American friends.

“I remember at one point not even realizing that my parents had accents until a friend was like, ‘Why does your mom talk like that?'” Pascal says. “And I remember thinking, like what?”

Besides, he loved his life in San Antonio. His father took him and his sister to Spurs basketball games during the week if their homework was done. He hoodwinked his mother into letting him see “Poltergeist” at the local multiplex. He watched just about anything on cable; the HBO special of Whoopi Goldberg’s one-woman Broadway show knocked him flat. He remembers seeing Henry Thomas in “E.T.” and Christian Bale in “Empire of the Sun” and wishing ardently, urgently, I want to live those stories too.

Then his father got a job in Orange County, Calif. After Pascal finished the fifth grade, they moved there. It was a shock. “There were two really, really rough years,” he says. “A lot of bullying.”

His mother found him a nascent performing arts high school in the area, and Pascal burrowed even further into his obsessions, devouring any play or movie he could get his hands on. His senior year, a friend of his mother’s gave Pascal her ticket to a long two-part play running in downtown Los Angeles that her bad back couldn’t withstand. He got out of school early to drive there by himself. It was the pre-Broadway run of “Angels in America.”

“And it changed me,” he says with almost religious awe. “It changed me.”

After studying acting at NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, Pascal booked a succession of solid gigs, like MTV’s “Undressed” and “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” But the sudden death of his mother — who’d only just been permitted to move back to Chile a few years earlier — took the wind right from Pascal’s sails. He lost his agent, and his career stalled almost completely.

As a tribute to her, he decided to change his professional last name from Balmaceda, his father’s, to Pascal, his mother’s. “And also, because Americans had such a hard time pronouncing Balmaceda,” he says. “It was exhausting.”

Pascal even tried swapping out Pedro for Alexander (an homage to Ingmar Bergman’s “Fanny and Alexander,” one of the formative films of his youth). “I was willing to do absolutely anything to work more,” he says. “And that meant if people felt confused by who they were looking at in the casting room because his first name was Pedro, then I’ll change that. It didn’t work.”

It was a desperately lean time for Pascal. He booked an occasional “Law & Order” episode, but mostly he was pounding the pavement along with his other New York theater friends — like Oscar Isaac, who met Pascal doing an Off Broadway play. They became fast, lifelong friends, bonding over their shared passions and frustrations as actors.

“It’s gotten better, but at that point, it was so easy to be pigeonholed in very specific roles because we’re Latinos,” says Isaac. “It’s like, how many gang member roles am I going to be sent?” As with so many actors, the dream Pascal and Isaac shared to live the stories of their childhoods had been stripped down to its most basic utility. “The dream was to be able to pay rent,” says Isaac. “There wasn’t a strategy. We were just struggling. It was talking about how to do this thing that we both love but seems kind of insurmountable.”

As with so few actors, that dream was finally rekindled through sheer nerve and the luck of who you know, when another lifelong friend, actor Sarah Paulson, agreed to pass along Pascal’s audition for Oberyn Martell to her best friend Amanda Peet, who is married to “Game of Thrones” co-showrunner David Benioff.

“First of all, it was an iPhone selfie audition, which was unusual,” Benioff remembers over email. “And this wasn’t one of the new-fangled iPhones with the fancy cameras. It looked like s—; it was shot vertical; the whole thing was very amateurish. Except for the performance, which was intense and believable and just right.”

Before Pascal knew it, he found himself in Belfast, sitting inside the Great Hall of the Red Keep as one of the judges at Tyrion Lannister’s trial for the murder of King Joffrey. “I was between Charles Dance and Lena Headey, with a view of the entire f—ing set,” Pascal says, his eyes wide and astonished still at the memory. “I couldn’t believe I didn’t have an uncomfortable costume on. You know, I got to sit — and with this view.” He sighs. “It strangely aligned itself with the kind of thinking I was developing as a child that, at that point, I was convinced was not happening.”

And then it all started to happen.

In early 2018, while Pascal was in Hawaii preparing to make the Netflix thriller “Triple Frontier” — opposite his old friend Isaac — he got a call from the film’s producer Charles Roven, who told him Patty Jenkins wanted to meet with him in London to discuss a role in another film Roven was producing, “Wonder Woman 1984.”

“It was a f—ing offer,” Pascal says in an incredulous whisper. “I wasn’t really grasping that Patty wanted to talk to me about a part that I was going to play, not a part that I needed to get. I wasn’t able to totally accept that.”

Pascal had actually shot a TV pilot with Jenkins that wasn’t picked up, made right before his life-changing run on “Game of Thrones” aired. “I got to work with Patty for three days or something and then thought I’d never see her again,” he says. “I didn’t even know she remembered me from that.”

She did. “I worked with him, so I knew him,” she says. “I didn’t need him to prove anything for me. I just loved the idea of him, and I thought he would be kind of unexpected, because he doesn’t scream ‘villain.'”

In Jenkins’ vision, Max Lord — a longstanding DC Comics rogue who shares a particularly tangled history with Wonder Woman — is a slick, self-styled tycoon with a knack for manipulation and an undercurrent of genuine pathos. It was the kind of larger-than-life character Pascal had never been asked to tackle before, so he did something equally unorthodox: He transformed his script into a kind of pop-art scrapbook, filled with blown-up photocopies of Max Lord from the comic books that Pascal then manipulated through his lens on the character.

Even the few pages Pascal flashes to me over Zoom are quite revealing. One, featuring Max sporting a power suit and a smarmy grin, has several burned-out holes, including through the character’s eye. Another page features Max surrounded by text bubbles into which Pascal has written, over and over and over again in itty-bitty lettering, “You are a f—ing piece of s—.”

“I felt like I had wake myself up again in a big way,” he says. “This was just a practical way of, like, instead of going home tired and putting Netflix on, [I would] actually deal with this physical thing, doodle and think about it and run it.”

Jenkins is so bullish on Pascal’s performance that she thinks it could explode his career in the same way her 2003 film “Monster” forever changed how the industry saw Charlize Theron. “I would never cast him as just the stoic, quiet guy,” Jenkins says. “I almost think he’s unrecognizable from ‘Narcos’ to ‘Wonder Woman.’ Wouldn’t even know that was the same guy. But I think that may change.”

When people can see “Wonder Woman 1984” remains caught in the chaos the pandemic has wreaked on the industry; both Pascal and Jenkins are hopeful the Dec. 25 release date will stick, but neither is terribly sure it will. Perhaps it’s because of that uncertainty, perhaps it’s because he’s spent his life on the outside of a dream he’s now suddenly living, but Pascal does not share Jenkins’ optimism that his experience making “Wonder Woman 1984” will open doors to more opportunities like it.

“It will never happen again,” Pascal says, once more in that incredulous whisper. “It felt so special.”

After all he’s done in a few short years, why wouldn’t Pascal think more roles like this are on his horizon?

“I don’t know!” he finally says with a playful — and pointed — howl. “I’m protecting myself psychologically! It’s just all too good to be true! How dare I!”

[fluffymisha97]

Goodbye Captain America

Summary: Reader and Chris are going to the World Premiere of Avengers Endgame but before going to the premiere, there’s some emotions that Chris needs to deal with. 

Chris wanted to bring you to the world premiere of Avengers Endgame. Although you would’ve been there already due to the fact that you’d had a supporting role the in MCU. Your character was only introduced to the world two years back, so your characters story wasn’t over yet.

But it was over for Chris. He’d passed the torch or shield on to Anthony Mackie, the new Captain America. Chris had explained it to you, saying how he wanted to get off the bus before being thrown off. Something you fully understood. 

You were surprised at first when Chris asked you to be at his side on the red carpet mainly because he initially wanted to keep the two of you a secret. But you of course said yes. It would be the first time that the world saw you together. The cast knew about you guys dating, but no one had ever spilled the beans on you. Not even Tom Holland had gone running his mouth, who really was incapable of keeping secrets or spoilers for that matter.

It felt bittersweet in so many ways for Chris. He’d been used to playing this character for so many years now. It had been one hell of a ride. He would always look back at his time on Marvel with nothing but happiness. But right now it all felt too real for him. The end of an era. 

You stood in the walk-in closet trying to decide which heels to wear. You really didn’t want to wear any heels, but you also didn’t want to look like a small chump next to your tall man. Chris was in the bedroom fixing his cufflinks on his shirt. He looked so goddamn handsome. His blue suit fit him like a glove. You could almost feel yourself growing hot, but now was not the time. Your dress’s color was like Chris’s suit so that the two matched.

After you finally found a pair of high heels, you walked back into the bedroom where Chris was sitting on the bed with a strange expression on his face. You bent down to put on the heels and then went to sit next to him.

“Are you okay baby?”

Chris nodded, but kept starring out into the air.

“Chris?”

He turned to you and you spotted the glassy eyes immediately.

“It’s stupid, right? Being upset about something that I wanted? I mean it was my choice to get off now while I still had the chance. And it was the right thing to do, right?”

You listened carefully as Chris continued.

“I guess it finally hit me today. It was creeping up on me throughout the promo tour, that this is the end. That I’m not coming back. My last time playing Captain America.”

You rubbed your hands up and down Chris’s back as he let go of emotions that he’d holding onto for several months. He leaned his body forward and you wrapped your arms around him. Chris let go of the tears and let you hold him like a child. A few moments passed before he cleared his throat and went into a sitting position again. 

He sniffled a bit and wiped his eyes before letting out a small breathy laugh.

“I’m sorry. That was incredible un-manly of me. Couldn’t have been sexy at all.”

You only caressed his cheek feeling his beard tickling your hand. You leaned in to give him a long kiss. You pulled away, needing to breathe while still holding onto his face. You looked at those beautiful blue eyes, eyes that you could swim in.

“You know what I find sexy, Chris? When you’re happy and feeling good. .”

“Well then you’re just too kind to me then, Y/N.” 

Chris took your hand in his big ones and brought it up to his mouth and placed small kisses on the back of your hand. You knew that this wasn’t the end of your talk and that Chris would go through this multiple times maybe. This would be a topic that he would come back to even in the furture. The feelings, doubts and thoughts wouldn’t go away over night. 

You stood from your seat, gently patting his cheek before walking over to stand in front of the floor mirror. You readjusted your dress, patting it down. Chris came to stand behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You looked good together.

“You look really beautiful Y/N in case I haven’t told you that.”

“No you didn’t but thank you. You look mighty fine too.”

You felt his body vibrate from laughing. You felt something else vibrate in his pocket as well. It was his phone, Meghan wanted to let you know that the driver was coming over in 5 minutes. His body got tense for a bit as he read the text out loud. You kept your hands on him, trying to calm him and prevent any signs of anxiety. You turned your head so you could kiss him which he reciprocated. You took a last look at you both before leading him downstairs.

It helped that Chris’s family came before you’d to leave for the premiere. They all kept him grounded. They did a bunch of pictures which was great. You took most of the pictures before Lisa demanded one of you and Chris. It felt like prom night really as you posed with Chris. You all got in the cars and were on your way.

Chris held your hand the whole ride. You drew circles on the back of his hand, which seemed to soothe him. As you finally arrived, Chris went out first and got his pictures taken alone and then with his family. You too were photographed alone before the time came to walk together as a couple. 

Chris held out his hand to you as you walked towards him. You were probably the most nervous one while Chris looked calm and collected. His smile was everything you needed. You stood beside him as he wrapped an arm around you while on of your hands rested comfortable on his chest. People were yelling and shouting all kinds of things that neither of you comprehended. You only had eyes for one man.

This was one of those moments where you felt yourself fall in love with Chris all over. He leaned down to you. Even in heels, he was like a tower.

“Thank you so much for being here...For being with me.”

He gave you a small peck on the lips before standing straight. Chris’s eyes and heart were filled with love. With you by his side he could easily say goodbye to Cap because you made everything better. MCU gave him one of the best roles in his life, friends who’d become like family to him and most importantly you. He would have to let Cap go but that seemed easy when he had you. 

Bonus:

As you were posing for the cameras, Robert Downey Jr. came running over to photobomb you. He let out a huge gasp and covered his mouth in shock while looking out on the crowd.

“Omg, the world is no more. Who would’ve thought this? Oh right, me. Btw I’ll take full credit for bringing these two together. My dear old Cap and sweet little Y/N, it was a match made in heaven, made by me. No seriously this is great, right?”

People went crazy. Truth was indeed out now but if felt alright. RDJ let out a laugh as he embraced you two and kissed Chris on the cheek as he quickly posed for a few pictures.

(Btw - I don’t know if I did the link thing right.)

[mutatismutandisx]

Shadow and Bone (Netflix Series Review)

No Spoilers!!!

"Be careful of powerful men" - Genya Safin

Welcome to the Grishaverse!

Shadow and Bone is Netflix's big gamble for young adult fiction mega-success, the kind we haven't seen since Jennifer Lawrence volunteered as tribute almost a decade ago, adapting Leigh Bardugo's popular Grishaverse novels (her debut trilogy Shadow and Bone and serving as a prequel for the Six of Crows duology), anchored by an incredibly diverse cast (mostly newcomers) and a huge production budget, showrunner Eric Heisserer, alongside Bardugo who serves as an executive producer, aim for Hunger Games and Harry Potter level phenomenon with their own fantasy epic.

To Heisserer's credit, he manages a great adaptation of Bardugo's novels, even if he falls prey to the same story tropes that made Bardugo's debut novels seem so derivative, Heisserer brings the Grishaverse to life in a (mostly) successful run of 8 episodes, and even if his grand tour of Ravka isn't the most organized or well planned, most viewers will still fall in love with this world.

Heisserer's boldest creative choice, and biggest deviation from the novels, is the introduction of Kaz Brekker and his Crows, Jesper and Inej, in this opening chapter to the story, characters that did not appear in Bardugo's original Shadow and Bone trilogy. Creatively and business-wise, his decision is an obvious one, Bardugo's Shadow and Bone novels, while a solid debut, are the typical young adult fodder that is bombarded to consumers every year, a largely derivative yet charming "chosen one" story that teens and tweens eat up every year and then mostly forget about when the next one comes around (less Percy Jacson and more Divergent if you will), truth be told Bardugo's Grishaverse only became a phenomenon after the release of her superb Six of Crows duology, featuring Bardugo's very own Suicide Squad, a ragtag group of crimials performing incredible, mind-bending heists in the tough streets of a fictional Amsterdam (and beyond!), all anchored by what is (to this day) Bardugo's best creation: Kaz Brekker, a Batman-meets-The Riddler machiavelic genius with a flair for theatrics, Six of Crows and it's follow-up Crooked Kingdom are surely the main reason Netflix even greenlit this series to begin with. And just like in the books, Brekker and his Crows provide a much needed bolt of manic energy to an otherwise very by-the-numbers storyline. Not to discredit Bardugo's talent as a writer, but her skills had simply not been honed at the time of her 2012 debut, a shortcoming that Bardugo would fix later on, in her follow up novels, through ambition and sheer force of will.

And yet, Heisserer stays extremely faithful to the books, whether it's to Bardugo's best ideas or her least creative ones, he adapts it all, while attempting to add his own flair into the mix (with varying results), take our main protagonist for example, Alina Starkov, to those unfamiliar with the novels, Alina is the Katniss Everdeen of this story, a mostly ordinary young woman who, by a struck of destiny, finds herself thrust into the spotlight in the hero/savior-of-her-people role (a most unflattering one might I add), and thus becomes an unwilling symbol to a cause she hardly understands, saddled with all the responsabilities and power that comes with the job, and with the inevitable political players and adversaries that may take advantage of her power for their own gain ("Be careful of powerful men" one of Alina's confidants warns her in episode 5). And did I mention she happens to find herself in the middle of a love triangle? Indeed Bardugo's original novel isn't the most creative, and yet Heisserer doesn't have much to offer as a way to reinvent the character, the best he can come up with is changing Alina's ethnicity (originally caucasian) to that of the fictional Shu Han people (read: China), and yet, nothing is really done with the change, it just sits there, (similarly to Alina everytime a background character hurls xenophobic abuse at her), it's not explored and hardly touched upon, which begs the question why introduce the change in the first place? While I commend the showrunners for casting a female lead of asian descent on a blockbuster property such as this, I would remind them that true diversity is more than simply ethnic tokenism. Perhaps there will be a bigger payoff for the creative change in future seasons (if we get them, season 2 has not been greenlit), doubtfull but I'll remain optimistic.

Tokenism aside, the diversity of the cast truly is commendable, and as expected with a young adult property, it's a very young and very attractive cast, on the one hand it's understandable, they need to appeal to their core demographic, on the other hand they commit themselves to one of the most glaring faults in Bardugo's Grishaverse series, Ravka doesn't seem to have soldiers, politicians or grisha over the age of 25, it seems like a huge oversight on part of a country (and Leigh Bardugo) to have the entire power of the government and the military reside upon a group of teenagers, but be that as it may, most of the cast, while young, is very talented, even if their characters aren't fully developed, they do their best with what they are given, some of the standouts are Jessie Mei Li as Alina, Mei Li is saddled with a character and plot that's as derivative as they come, and yet she finds nuances in her perfomance that are lovely to watch, she brings a sense of joy and determination to Alina that lesser actors couldn't even imagine much less portray, all that helps her stand out from most, if not all, the crowd of chosen one characters that have come before her, and even tho Mei Li doesn't reach Jennifer Lawrence levels with her performance, she certainly surpasses the Kristen Stewarts and Shailene Woodleys that have come before.

Ben Barnes is a surprise as General Kirigan, at first glance you might think him miscast (too young, too pretty to be believed as a stone cold, battle hardened general) and yet he still manages to make the character his own, a possessive, demanding, controlling, master manipulator who always seems to have the upper hand, Barnes is blessed with a tight script and he never misses a beat giving a subtle and nuanced performance. And then there is Kit Young as Jesper Fahey, sharpshooter, playboy, criminal with a heart of gold, Young is a revelation, he is as good in his role as Robert Downey Jr. is as Tony Stark, and that's all you need to know, Young was simply born to play Jesper, anchored by a strong script, he steals every scene he is in and far overshadows his fellow Crows. And as for the other Crows, Freddy Carter acts his heart out as Kaz Brekker, committing to a very physical performance, from scowl to limp, he embodies Brekker visually, but after the first 2 episodes you get the feeling the writers simply don't know what to do with his character, losing the spotlight to other actors blessed with better material, never did I think Kaz Brekker would be overshadowed by one of his fellow Crows, yet here we are. Carter's talent still shines through and his perpetual, omnipresent scowl as Brekker is a beauty to behold, even if his limping is somewhat inconsistent, which makes me hopeful he will improve when given more to do, still it's a shame to have the master strategist/evil genius Bruce Wayne replaced by a lowly con artist and not a very successful one at that. As for Amita Suman, while perfectly cast as Inej Ghafa, her character is severely underwritten, from her past work in The Menagerie, to her faith, to her interactions with Brekker, it's all done in the broadest of strokes, Suman isn't given much to do and therefore doesn't have the opportunity to excel as The Wraith.

You can feel the writers straining for time between developing this world and the large cast of characters they have to work with, inevitably some characters fall of the wayside, through none of the actors' fault. Daisy Head as Genya Safin is all untapped potential, even more underwritten here than she is in the books, which make later revelations about her character (the color of her kefta and shifting allegiances) barely register, hopefully they correct that going forward. Sujaya Dasgupta is another victim of a weak script and little screen time, Dasgupta is simply miscast as the powerful, acerbic, steely-eyed Zoya Nazyalensky, long gone is the regal, no nonsense, silver-tongued Grisha general, in Dasgupta's hands Zoya is just a watered down Grisha version of a Mean Girl, faltering every scene with the exception of one moment, as she makes her way through party goers at the Little Palace and she corrects Inej's ethnicity to a bystander, (her one good line reading in the entire show) "She's Suli", she declares, with all the strenght and defiance that's sorely missing from the rest of her performance, moving forward let's hope a stronger script can lift her performace off the ground, because right now all the wind is gone from this Squaller's wings. And as for Malyen Oretsev played by Archie Renaux, he is the Gale Hawthorne of this story, the undignified love interest, and Renaux is as boring in his role as Liam Hemsworth was in his.

Lastly, Danielle Galligan as Nina Zenik and Calahan Skogman as Matthias Helvar, are equally terrible in their performances, from their accents to their interactions, none of it rings true, and it's particularly jarring when juxtaposed with the talent portrayed by the rest of the cast, we spent way too much time with Nina and Matthias, for absolutely no payoff to their story (yet! Fans will recognize them as 2 future members of Brekker's murder of Crows), but their little side adventure is so disconnected with the events of the main plot that I can't help but feel their story was better reserved for another time, hopefully with some better actors playing the roles. A lovely moment of playfulness between Nina and Matthias while they tread along in a barren, snowy hill, is the only glimpse of hope for Galligan's and Skogman's performances, maybe there is talent to be tapped but it certainly wasn't in display this time around.

The Grishaverse is simply too large and complex, so understandably Heisserer and his writers room have a lot on their plate, but while the character work is largely uneven, his world building is quite solid, based on the impressive foundation Bardugo set out for them, the showrunners are able to bring the world of Ravka to life, the costume design is stunning, from soldiers to Grishas, to royals and diplomats, the costume department does a fabulous job with every piece and every character, one of the high points in the series.

The VFX team also does a lot of the heavy lifting for Heisserer's world building efforts, realizing the different power sets of all the Grisha in a fantastical manner while still maintaining a realistic quality to them, ("you'll believe a man can fly"), but even with a huge production budget, Heisserer strains with this world-spanning adventure, so even though the set and production design is mostly impressive, some sets simply fall out of range for the show's budget, case in point, both Ravka's Royal Palace and the Little Palace are not fully realized, viewers are given a single outside shot of the Royal Palace (and from very far away at that) and the throne room is only visited once, and as for the Little Palace, it's stripped from many of the books most sprawling details, the training grounds, the Grisha school, the fabrikators workshop, the dining room, the palace's towers, all falling victim to obvious budget restrains. Not to mention both palaces are devoid of the classic Russian influences that permeate Ravka's world.

But Heisserer's skills for world building show the most limitations on the lore of the Grishaverse, the three Orders of the Grisha are never properly explained, with Fabrikators getting next to none screen time, Heisserer is never capable to establish a clear view of the world these characters inhabit, most viewers will be very confused about Ravka's shifting borders, the civil war tensions between East and West, and the adversary foreign nations (an inclusion of a map in the opening credits of every episode would have gone a long way), the sociopolitical elements that Bardugo has infused in her books are decidedly complex and the show doesn't do them justice, unfortunately. Perhaps most glaring is the very clear disagreements on what a Ravkan's diction and accent should be, since every actor has their own interpretation of it, an oversight that I hope is fixed in future seasons.

As the few completely negative points of the show, alongside Galligan and Skogman, the sound mixing is terrible (you will need subtitles to watch this show) and the cutaway flahbacks are quite sloppy.

To conclude, Shadow and Bone is a lovingly crafted, beautifully realized, world building adventure, it has a couple of missteps along the way (like all adventures do), but the final product is strong enough to overcome some of its creative faux pas, with a solid script and anchored by a (mostly) talented cast, Shadow and Bone doesn't reach Catching Fire levels of greatness but it far outpaces the rest of the young adult fantasy competition.