#Donorconceived

[growinginsideshrinkingoutside]

Abortion

After many years of trying to have a baby, our first pregnancy ended with an abortion. I think it’s important to take the time to address the reality of the situation.

Trigger Warning; Abortion/Miscarriage/Loss. Previous: Embryo Transfer #1 Throughout my entire childhood, I always knew that my mom had trouble getting pregnant and ended up going through 5 miscarriages before I was born. I listened to her talk about it, and I knew that she had names chosen out for each one of the siblings that I never had. I never quite knew how to feel for her. I never…

[laverypoetry]

my first poem, early biography of me and who i now know to be my biological dad

Cell number 2. Hand selected, cultivated, a swimmer, tied at the finishing line..

Blue gloves determine the womb deserved. 

9 months later removed, dissected out,

2nd to the first, male.

No tears, no fuss,

waiting for the next order

Measured. Legs long,

head circumference small,

hair red, eyes blue

Milestones completed, all is well

Does he know?

Cell no.2 has grown

Cell no.2 is flawed, conscious of self. 

Can he know?

Tower Hamlets homes Creator 1. A former poet, comedian…

Was no.2 one of his jokes?

Does she know?

Park view homes cell no.2. Does she know?

What was she made for?

[kimmiessimmies]

Thanks for tagging me @nocturnalazure and @anamoon63. 💕

💓Favourite Three Ships

Laurie and Erik by @nocturnalazure

Dale and Kelly by @anamoon63

Tony and Priscilla by @eljeebee

(And an extra mention for Eliana and CJ by @happy-lemon, who I didn't include in the three because they can no longer be, but I so loved them together 💔)

🎧Last Song

*For story purposes, actually. 😇

🎬Last Movie

Red, White and Royal Blue

* I wanted to see what the fuss was about. I wasn't too impressed but chuckled at the casting of Stephen Fry as the unapproving king.

📖 Currently Reading

* Slow going because I hardly have the time to read.

🌶️ Craving

Time, peace and quiet

👯‍♀️Relationship status

Single (and mother to two donorconceived children)

🪷Last thing I googled

"Harry Potter logo snitch poster"

* My son wants this for his bedroom. I haven't been able to find it. Suggestions welcome.

💫Current Obsession

Not really anything atm.

Tagging the ones mentioned above if you haven't done this yet and @dandylion240, @sushiikinsss and @ice-creamforbreakfast. Feel free to pass. ❤️

[approximate-ritual]

Anyone who views Judaism as just a religion and antisemitism as just a reaction to the religion needs to take a look at this. Laura High is a 30-odd year old donor-conceived person whose donor was 100% Ashkenazi Jewish (and not Irish and Scottish, like her parents were told). She's made a lot of videos about why knowing this matters, and others go into the BRCA and Tay-Sachs of it all, but here's something that breaks my heart: she was experiencing antisemitism based on her features and Did Not Understand Why until the why became clear.

[thepeglegdad]

He loves his mama! #mamasboy #lovethem #blessed #iui #donorconceived #stillmine — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/cs1q4wB

[wifeymomz]

PREGGO JOURNEY

We were instructed to take a pregnancy test 2 weeks after our insemination. Wifey was working the midnight shift, so she was on her way home. I woke up and had to use the restroom already so I couldn’t wait. I took the pregnancy test with wifey on the speaker and after a minute it had the + sign which meant we were pregnant!!! i screamed and started crying (of course). We couldn’t believe it! Was the test correct? Were we really pregnant? It was a Friday, so I couldn’t go into the lab until Monday where they would draw blood and check my HCG levels to confirm that I was pregnant. I can’t remember, but I believe I had to do this blood draw twice to make sure that the HCG levels were increasing, which they were!!! Looking back I wish we had told our parents in a special way, but we just called them to let them know we were pregnant. Of course both sides were excited since this would be their first grandchild. On a side note, this was new for both sides of our families so had to educate everyone on the process of how we got pregnant.

FIRST TRIMESTER: morning sickness/nausea galore! I was at work and I was craving french fries. One of my coworkers surprised me with McDonalds french fries (my fave at the time). For lunch, I had chicken and broccoli that I had warmed up. The smell of the broccoli started to make me feel nauseous which it normally didn’t so I couldn’t eat it. I started eating the fries which were delicious. We had a OT followed by a rehab meeting that afternoon and I drove to our other center in East Oakland. When I got there, I felt so nauseous I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Every time, I sat down and thought I was okay I ended up running to the bathroom several times to throw up. Unfortunately, this was how I let our rehab team know the news. For weeks, I relied on saltine crackers, ginger tea and ginger chews. I had them next to the bed, in the car and at work. Every morning, I ate a few saltine crackers to decrease my chance of getting nauseous which helped 50% of the time. I had to call off of work more often that I wanted. We had our 12 week appointment where we would have an ultrasound of the baby. To be honest, I was beyond nervous for this appointment because I had a few friends that had this appointment where they couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat. I always try to stay positive but also didn’t want to be disappointed if I had my hopes too high. Wifey and I went to this appointment and there was the baby! Our eyes watered as we looked at each other and the ultrasound. I had to take the glucose test (where you drink that sugary drink) to determine if I was diabetic since diabetes runs in my family. Luckily I got the results back and they were within normal limits. We shared the news with the rest of our families and friends during Thanksgiving. During this time, I mostly craved soups and spicy food plus it worked out since it was the fall/winter season.

SECOND TRIMESTER: nausea & horrible headaches continued until 20 weeks then all of a sudden it disappeared. I’ll never forget we had a thanksgiving potluck at work and all the smells made me nauseous. I tried to eat a little bit but I had such a horrible headache. I took tylenol and ended throwing it up. It was the end of the day and I still had to drive home in 45 minutes of traffic. I felt fine until I was 15 minutes from home and felt like throwing up. I found a plastic bag in my lunch bag and threw up while I was driving (should’ve pulled over). Then I realized the bag had a hole and stuffed the bag in a ziplock bag. What a mess. I almost made it home but had to throw up more and it ended up all over my lap (yuck). I tried calling wifey but she didn’t answer. I got into the house so pissed from embarrassment that I took ti out on her. She asked how i was doing and I screamed…DON’T LOOK AT ME. To this day, we both still laugh about it. I went straight to the shower and washed off. At our 20 week appointment, this is where we went in not only to find out the gender but where they look at the anatomy of the baby. Gosh this appointment was so uncomfortable because they had to poke and prod at different areas of my abdomen and try to make baby move to change positions. At one point, they asked me to use the restroom to see if that would help the baby move. Thank goodness it worked. She put the results in an envelope for us to give to my cousin, Lyss, for our gender reveal. Honestly, I would've waited until birth to find out baby’s gender but of course wifey wanted to know beforehand. The whole time everyone kept telling me I was having a boy, so I started to believe that. I asked wifey if she cared what we were having and she said no. We had picked out names beforehand for a boy and a girl. We waited until March to do our gender reveal just based on when my in-laws were back in town and the availability of the community room we wanted to reserve. Finally, March 7th came around and we found out we were having a girl. Bless my cousin, Lyss, who held onto this secret for so long!!!

At one of my appointments, I had to do the blood glucose test again which i think is pretty standard. The results showed that my blood glucose was slightly elevated! Wahhhh! That meant I had to do the 3 hour glucose test at the lab. I had to fast beforehand then had my blood drawn and at the one-, two-, and three-hour marks after I drank that sugary drink. It was torture being pregnant and hungry!  was already hungry to begin with because I had to fast then wait another 3 hours before I could eat while drinking those sugary drinks. I definitely didn’t feel good that’s for sure. After the test, I drove straight to Chipotle and got a burrito bowl and devoured it!  The results came back and one of my values were elevated so they referred me to a dietician. We reviewed that I should eat more protein and less carbs because carbs equals sugar.

Side note: One of my close friends gave birth around this time and told me her birth story and let’s just say it got me thinking.  Up until this point, I wasn’t sure what our birth plan would be but it made me think that I didn’t want the epidural and wanted to do unmedicated…

THIRD TRIMESTER

We went on our baby moon in Hawaii at 32 weeks. Flight was slightly tough since I couldn’t sit for long periods of time and needed to get up to either use the restroom or walk up and down the aisle. We definitely enjoyed ourselves by eating all the food and lounging at the beach (our favorite).This trimester, I was definitely bigger and more swollen especially in my hands and feet. I had to use a reacher to reach for clothes in the washing machine and wear compression stockings which were so hard to put on. I was still pretty active overall…walked everywhere, a little slower of course, and still did things around the house. Wifey would say, you’re so active, sometimes I forget you're pregnant haha. This trimester prepares you for a life of no sleep because I would try to find a comfortable position, then had to go to the bathroom multiple times then have a hard time falling asleep again. Plus this is when baby girl was the most active, kicking and rolling around in my tummy. To be honest, that’s the part I miss the most is feeling her movement inside me. Wifey loved it when she could feel baby girl kick and move; she’d always sing and play the ukulele for her and read to her.

Luckily Kaiser offered classes for free so of course I took all of them from breastfeeding to postpartum care to birth preparation (where they discussed the different options for pain management). At this point, I was set on an unmedicated birth. I didn’t want the epidural because I wanted to be able to move around when I needed to and I didn’t want the other pain medications because I didn’t want it to cross the placenta and affect the baby, but they did discuss nitrous oxide which was a gas that I might consider. They had us practice various positions and strategies to manage the contractions too. I remember they had us put a clothespin on the skin of our forearm and try to breath through the discomfort for one minute. At home, we practiced with an ice cube (a tip I got from someone on facebook). I would hold the ice cube in my hand for one minute while trying to breathe and wifey would try the different positions we learned in class. I also did a tour of the hospital twice (Kaiser Walnut Creek)…once with my MIL because they had the midwives present for Q&A since and she was available to come with me and another time with wifey when she had a day off. During this tour, they showed us “room 7” which was the only room with a tub. They had mentioned it is first come first serve and women with unmedicated birth plans take priority. Luckily at this hospital, the midwives are assigned unless the birthing person prefers not to have a midwife or they have complications that require an OB. Our ultimate goal: have a midwife and be in room 7

I took the month off before babygirl’s due date to be at home, rest (I was getting much more tired from the commute to and from work and hated being in the car that long), nest (get everything ready) and spend time with wifey since it would be our last month of just the two of us.

[tamsinhughes]

All hail Louise...

[thednadetective]

There have been a few stories in the news lately of Doctors using their own sperm instead of anonymous donors. This is worth watching if you’re an NPE or donor conceived. I’m on episode 4 so far & I’m enjoying it. 🧬

[kemette]

I’m not going to lie...today has been very bittersweet. A perfect day spent with my sister touring #Utrecht, with a full but heavy heart knowing that I head home tomorrow. This has been the trip of a lifetime in so many ways. I am full of gratitude and love for this new family of mine. Until next time. ❤️

[cushydiet-blog]

Donor-conceived people are tracking down their biologic... - https://wp.me/p8XyML-h5P - #Biologic, #Donorconceived, #News, #People, #Tracking

[growinginsideshrinkingoutside]

Embryo Transfer #1

We talk about what it's like to have our first IVF embryo transfer.

Previous: Andrea Part 5: Stims May 7th, 2024 The mood going into our first embryo transfer was optimism and excitement, finally being here and feeling so close after many years. Before the procedure, Andrea needed to have a full bladder. When we got to the front counter to check in, I told her I was going to go to the washroom and the person at the counter joked that I had to have a full…

[thepeglegdad]

Just wanted to take a moment and show off my family!! #luckiestmanalive #dadlife #suckitcancer #ilovethemsomuch #dad #father #cancersurvivor #cancerthriver #donorconceived — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/3aGBsXC

[wifeymomz]

Let’s give it a try…IUI

For our 2 year wedding anniversary , we wanted to stay local and so we celebrated in Lake Tahoe. Side note: I had gotten my period a few days before our trip. We had such an amazing and relaxing time at the timeshare that we always stay at. We also went on a hike to a beautiful and secluded part of the lake. At the end of our trip, I asked wifey if we can try IUI since I was ending my period and would be ovulating again soon. Without hesitation, she said YES! So many feelings rushed through me, mostly excitement and nervousness at the same time.

August 17 (Friday), I called the fertility clinic to inform them we wanted to do the IUI and what were the steps we needed to take since I was about to be on day 10 after my period started. First, they scheduled an appointment for Tuesday (8/22) for a check up. They told me to purchase an ovulation kit and to check if I was ovulating on Sunday. If yes, then call them to change the appointment for Monday. If not, check again on Monday. I checked on both days and I was not ovulating, which made me feel sad but I had to stay positive and optimistic. I went to my doctor’s appointment on Tuesday for my check up to see if I had “mature” follicles and luckily I did!!! My heart was beating so fast from excitement because all I could think was we’re really going to do this. Honestly, from this point on…everything felt like a blur because it was go, go, go.

My doctor reviewed the next steps with me:

IUI appointment scheduled for Friday 8/24 at 1ish and sperm drop off for washing would be at 11:30am

call the sperm bank to purchase and schedule a pickup for Friday AM

inject the ovidrel into my abdomen at a specific time on Wednesday evening *Ovidrel injection is the hormone (hCG) that causes the growth and release of a mature egg

Lastly, she emphasized timing was everything

Remember when I said we had saved a few donor profiles? Wifey and I had to go through them again and then decide on a final one that was available. From memory, I believe one of them was no longer available and from the other 3 we were on the same page on which one we wanted. The next day (Wednesday), I called the Sperm Bank of California to purchase the sperm and schedule an appointment  for pick up. I provided the donor number and they informed me that I would be purchasing the last 2 vials of his sperm that would be combined into 1 for the insemination. They asked if I was okay with that and I didn’t know what else to say but yes? Since it was the last of his sperm, they were only going to charge me for 1 vial. I filled out the paperwork, paid ~900 and the pick up was scheduled for 10am.

Later in the evening, I shook my fertility rattle and texted wifey that I was going to do the ovidrel injection. She texted back with smiley faces and said she wished she could be with me but she had to work. The needle was not big at all, but I was so nervous and excited that I started crying. I thought to myself wow we’re finally doing this…this is real. I injected the needle into the lower left quadrant of my abdomen (that was the instruction provided) and then freaked out thinking what if I didn’t inject it in the right place and started reading the directions over and over again hahaha Obviously I was already a ball of emotions…I recorded myself so I could send wifey a video. I started to research tips for a successful IUI and one of them was decreasing my caffeine intake and stress. I thought yikes…I drink a cup of coffee everyday how am I going to do this? so I switched to black tea the next day. I also reached out to our closest family and friends to send us their love and positive vibes for a successful appointment, which helped with the stress

Wifey and I woke up early on Friday to make sure we got to our appointments on time. I couldn’t decide what to wear out of nervousness, so we decided I wear a color that makes me happy. I decided to wear a yellow shirt for positive vibes and energy (from this point on, I wore yellow to all of my OB appointments) Luckily  there was no traffic on our way to Berkeley. We parked and wifey already looked up a breakfast spot that sold breakfast sandwiches (my favorite) that was close to the sperm bank and walking distance. Breakfast was delicious and a great way to start our day! We walked to the sperm bank and after an elevator ride to the 2nd floor we were seated in the waiting room to fill out paperwork. The room had copies of articles around donor conceived families that we were welcome to take (which we did), so we can “read them later”. After ~15 minutes, the lady came back in with a white cardboard box, verified mine and the donor’s information and we were done. Part of the agreement was filling out a postcard with the result of our IUI afterwards…

We drove over to the Oakland Kaiser to drop off the sperm for our 11:30 appointment where they “wash” the sperm. From my understanding, they spin the sperm to separate the dead vs live sperm so that for the insemination we’re only left with the live sperm. Now we had to wait in  the car until 1 for our IUI appointment. We were both so excited that we definitely couldn’t nap plus I’m not really a napper. We took some pictures and boomerangs with the fertility rattle in the car before going into our appointment. One o’ clock was finally here and now we’re in the exam room. I was instructed to remove my pants and underwear only and to put on the covering provided. I was semi-reclined on the exam table with my legs propped up on the stirrups just like a pelvic exam. Wifey and I did our handshake right before the doctor came in…I looked nervous and she smiled reassuring me everything would be okay. Doctor came in, confirmed my name and DOB, nurse came in with the sperm vial, doctor asked to confirm my name and DOB again just to make sure everything matched. We were ready, wifey held my hand. The tube was inserted through my cervix which did not hurt since the tubing was tiny and the sperm was injected. No need to keep my legs propped up (like in the movies). She reviewed the side effects vaginal discharge , slight spotting and mild cramping. Plus, she told us to take a pregnancy test in 14 days. Just like that, we were done and on our way home…

Sidenote: That evening, I went into caffeine withdrawals with vomitting, chills, fever/sweating and worst migraine ever! I told myself I never want to go through this again. I decided to stop drinking caffeinated coffee and possibly switch to teas.

[hiddenculture]

AmICrazy or AmIRight?

It's tempting sometimes to think I'm crazy for not making normal job decisions. I've turned down two interviews for jobs that would pay well, provide stability and land me in the heart of Washington, D.C.

You know what? Since turning down those jobs, two people have asked for my resume who are doing exactly the kind of research I want to be involved with. After finding out I was donor conceived and thinking my world would fall apart, it's amazing how God's proving to me that I have purpose, by giving me hints to not settle for the normalcy, because I'm not normal.

Sometimes that's awful, not relating to people talking about which parent they received certain character traits from. When they talk about family history and all their siblings -- I have 500 or more that I'll never know. It might not even be that many. Of course, it could be more. What if we get married?

There is a theology of the Body that we're made to live by, and there's nothing better than catching the vision of how God's created us to live. 

I'm 24 and want to start a healing center for people conceived through technology and other sinful means. A passion for healing and the order of life -- What more could a girl ask for? I'll probably hear stories I wish I could take back. I'll probably work through insane amounts of pain of others' infertility, parents without children, children without parents (the stories already started, two years ago). Who knows? Maybe I am infertile.

I've also learned that we help bring the kingdom of God to earth. We can love like Christ because he's with us and in us. And when faced with the temptation to sin or to love, we always have a choice.

Right now, I'm learning to work the not normal because it's my new normal. It's reality. Right now, it's beautiful, because so many people are supporting and advocating for my life, especially when I'm not. They catch the vision. He has a plan for it, and maybe along with loving him, that's one reason why I'm created.

[kemette]

The best welcome ever. :)

[growinginsideshrinkingoutside]

Fertility Part 22: Egg retrieval/Embryos

Embryos are not babies. But they are a critical step. In this part of our journey, I tell you all about how many embryos we get, and how we got them.

Previous: Fertility Part 21: Follicles We drove into Vancouver in the morning, April 2,2024. The night before felt strange, not having any other injections to do, but it was oddly relieving as well. We got checked in pretty quickly and set up in a prep and recovery bay. They came to take her blood pressure and other vitals, talked through the entire procedure, and put in her IV. Andrea had a…