#Donald Glover jerk

[isa-grapes]

as someone who saw into the spiderverse today and someone who is also currently on season five of community let me just say that seeing donald glover was the jumpscare of a lifetime

[mxngldmxdnsss]

Hiya !! :D Could I request Michael who crushes on a goth reader ? Like him being the bad popular boy in highschool and the reader being the calm and mysterious goth who minds their business and they always caught his attention ( I was thinking of the “Good little girl” song while thinking of this and I am a goth who’s very much crushing on Michael as you can see ajsjdjd ).

good little girl - michael afton

HSJHSJ THIS SONG IS SO FITTING!! this is so short, I’m disappointed I couldn’t include more details that the reader is goth, forgive me 🙁

pairing - michael x goth!reader

cw! none | really bad flirting, Michael having a crush

no warnings : proceed!

Headphones settled on your head, you stuffed your hands into your pockets, not paying any kind of attention to the cheerleaders who whispered about boys, and the jocks who rough housed. Reaching your locker you, opened it up, getting out books. The bell rang, you huffed, making your way to class.

Sitting down, you took off your headphones, boredly listening to the teacher talk about physics. You looked over, feeling eyes trained on you, your classmate, you could never remember his name, but you knew he was the son of some businessman here in town; was staring at you, quickly whipping his head back towards the board.

You smiled, lazily looking back at your desk. Soon the bell rang, you stood, gathering your things. Turning around, you were met with an expectant face. “You- uh..what’s your name?” Humming, you smiled, leaning against the desk. “Y/N? What’s yours?”

He scoffed, eyebrows knitting together. “Michael. What’s with the getup, you ready for a funeral- er! Forget I said that.” You watched as he rubbed the back of his neck, face turning red. Chuckling you, slung your book bag over your shoulder. “Yeah, yours. You look like you’re about to faint, am I really that scary.” Michael gasped, eyes wide. “No- I-” Mumbling under his breath, Michael averted his eyes. “Eh? I didn’t catch that, what’d you say?” You grinned, leisurely leaning forward.

Michael jerked his head back, blushing. “Look. I was just tryin’ to make..friends with ya’. That sound nice?” Laughing, you threw your head back. “Yeah- it does, Michael.” His face lit up, but he quickly masked it, nodding and walking off, shoving his hands in his pocket. You trailed after, watching as people scurried out of sight.

Clearing his throat, Michael turned around. “Hey twerp. Why’re ya’ following me?” You gave a toothy grin, shrugging as you walked past Michael. “The exit’s this way, in case you were wondering why we’re both headed there.”

Michael’s eyes widened, taking a blow to his ego. He was quick to take your side, awkward silence draping over you two, with the exception of your heavy boots hitting the floor. “Hey uh…how bout’ we study- yeah study this weekend? Together..you know.” Looking over at Michael, you held eye contact, watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “Sure. Didn’t realize you were into that kind of stuff, I’m used to seeing you taking everyone else’s homework.” Michael’s mouth hung open. “Well I- just figured I’d invite you to my house..since you’re a loner.”

Hissing under his breath as he said that, Michael regretted his words. “What an honor. You know what- how about we study tonight? Since I’m a loner.” Michael’s eyes blew wide, he cleared his throat again, trying to play it cool. “Sure-” You two waited on the school steps, Michael quiet and embarrassed.

Finally a car pulled up, Michael’s dad, Mr. Afton. You got into the backseat, leaned into the leather as Michael mumbled, explaining. Mr. Afton looked at you through the rearview mirror. “Never expected Michael to make a friend like you. Glad. You’ll keep him in check for me, right?”

You cracked a smile. “Sure thing sir.” Michael huffed looking out of the window as Mr. Afton drove. Finally, pulling into the driveway, you got off, Michael ushered you into the house, trying to get you out of sight, knowing his mom would want to meet you. You plopped on Michael’s bed, rather clean, you expected a boy like him to have a different atmosphere. You looked around spotting adult magazines on his desk. Grinning, you got up and flipped through them, impressed with Michael’s choice.

“Hey-!” Michael snatched the magazines from your hands, tossing them in his trash can. An awkward laugh came from Michael’s throat as he tried coming up with something to say. “So..what exactly do we need to study for?” Beating him to the punch, Michael shuffled his feet. “Er..there’s, nothing to study for..” You flopped back onto Michael’s bed. “Gee Michael, if you wanted to go on a date you could’ve just asked.”

Teasing him, you sat back up, fixing your clothes. Michael gasped, fiddling with his shirt as he opened his mouth to retort. “No I- fuck- look..I don’t mean to waste your time..” You perked up at Michael’s words, waiting for him to give up. “Do you..want to go on a date..?” You grinned, standing up when you heard a soft knock on the door the a voice beckon you two to come down for dinner. “Sure. How about the movies?”

Michael looked up at you, excited. He coughed, masking his joy. “Good..you better wear your best outfit, and that makeup..I like it..” You hummed opening the bedroom door. “Well, we’d better not keep your parents waiting, they might assume we’re up to something.” Michael’s face erupted in a blush, you chuckled, winking before making your way downstairs, with Michael stumbling after.

[slutabed]

Okay I did it, I watched Geothermal Escapism and I’m still crying.

1. Despite seeing spoilers (lol for a show that ended five years ago) in pics and gif sets nothing prepared me for Danny Pudi’s delivery in his lines about seeing real lava, ouch that broke me

2. Also the panic in Troy’s voice when he told Britta it was real to Abed, Donald Glover also crushed it in this ep

3. Britta trying to therapize the whole time kind of being a jerk toward Abed but then immediately saying “oh no” and coming up with a solution to save him in the game world, I truly love Britta

4. I love how easily Troy says I love you to Britta and calls her the best

5. Troy and Annie’s goodbye was so lovely, like can you even imagine being her and the high school guy of your dreams who never noticed you ends up being your roommate and one of your best friends?? And then he says HE’S the one who should have been grateful to know her all those years

7. I’m literally in pain at the way Abed smiles when he goes to hug Troy bc of course he’s smiling, he’s hugging Troy before you can see it hit him that this is the last time he’s going to get to do that

8. Come Sail Away playing in the background breaks me

9. Abed telling Troy to activate clone mode so he can talk to LeVar 🥺

10. The entire concept of the floor is lava game is so cool like all the different modes of transportation and Shirley’s island and everything, such a cool homage to the early paintball episodes but done in an entirely new way

11. The way Abed’s voice breaks a little when he’s saying “You may notice side effects like a compulsion...to come back.” The entire line “You may notice side effects like a compulsion to come back”

I’m v emotional. That was a really really beautiful episode and even though I knew what was coming it still knocked me sideways to hear those lines and see them for real. Wow my heart 🥺

[copiouscouples]

Welcome to My Lecture Series on Hot vs Sexy

Part 1

Many people think that the words hot and sexy are interchangeable, but they’re not. Calling someone HOT is looks based. To bump someone up to sexy - it’s gotta be actions based.

HOT

The world is full of so many good looking men. TV/Movies are inundated with hot guys (especially in the US). You can’t turn on a show without at least 3 hot guys being on it. Even reality TV has more hot guys than not. But facial symmetry and a nice body alone do not a sexy man make.

SEXY

When a man is sexy, it’s more than just looks. It’s the way he carries himself, his confidence, his swagger. Or maybe it’s his gentleness or adorableness. There are just so many ways a man can be sexy.

In my book, there are two kinds of sexy - sexy with anyone or partner-specific sexiness. Let me break it down with some of my favorite examples:

Sexy All the Time 1 - 5

Adam Driver - Kylo Ren and Adam Sackler

OK, y’all this is a new one. I knew who he was but just didn’t see his sexiness because I hadn’t really watched anything he was in. Well, I recently watched The Force Awakens, then stayed up til 4 in the morning skipping through to the Adam scenes on Girls, and now I know how wrong I was to sleep on this man for so long.

Physically: He’s tall and strong, that hair, those arms, and his brown eyes just emote so much. In Girls, he’s part gorilla, part puppy dog.

Kylo Ren - I love the jerk whose sweet to the girl he fancies trope (as you’ll see multiple times on this list). That bridal carry. His intenseness. Even his fighting style. I love it all.

Adam Sackler - He’s a perv (not sure if that’s a negative or a positive, LOL) and can be kinda douchey, but he can be fun and he’ll stick by your side and him with his baby niece? Super sweet. He has puppy dog levels of adorableness.

Both of these characters are flawed, but that’s kind of what makes them sexy in the first place.

Colin Firth

Physically: Tall, curly dark hair, piercing stare.

Mr. Darcy - His stares. They got me. His arrogance that was just deep down insecurity of whether he’d be liked or not. His terrible proposal that showed how badly and how passionately he wanted Elizabeth. His change of ‘tude and straight up kindness to her aunt and uncle. His adorable awkwardness at seeing her again. That’s what made him swoonworthy.

Other Roles - Darcy’s my favorite role of his, but he was enjoyable in Bridget Jones’ Diary, Love Actually, What a Girl Wants, and Nanny McPhee as well. He kind of bumbles his way around but it’s an adorable (and sexy) kind of bumble.

Donald Glover

Physically - ripped, expressive eyes

Have seen a wee bit of Atlanta, mostly know him from Community. He’s a bit of a different one on this list in that he’s not as angsty as everyone else. He’s just fun and loyal as heck to his friend Abed. Plus he’ll make you laugh. And that’s sexy.

Jung from Kim’s Convenience

If you don’t watch Canadian TV, this might seem a little obscure, but you really should give Kim’s Convenience a try.

Physically - another tall guy, another guy with dark hair

He’s confident but not arrogant. I love how he can let himself be a little dorky for the girl he likes. He’s stubborn about reconciling with his dad, but the scenes where he’s trying to reconnect with his Appa will melt your heart.

Mike Lawson

Physically - a far cry from blond Zach Morris - dark haired, bearded man

Mike Lawson, human disaster. He had daddy issues, ex-wife issues, body falling apart issues, and yet..his way of cutting through the crap, his loyalty to his team, his wise cracks just make you fall for him.

Side Note: His character in The Passage was pretty dreamy too. I’m all about watching a man go beast mode protective.

[grigori77]

The Works of Ridley Scott - My Top Ten

So I decided I’d drop another series of big post lumps of spam on you guys by rocking my favourite directors’ works by rating my personal favourites of each, and I figured what better place to start than my absolute number one, so here we go - these are my very favourite films of my absolute cinematic IDOL, the master of British auteur filmmakers.  Enjoy ...

10.  EXODUS: GODS & KINGS

It takes a really ballsy filmmaker to try and make a big budget live action Ten Commandments movie after Cecil B. DeMille’s monstrous Technicolour epic, but guts is something Scott’s never been lacking in, and the result is one of his most striking offerings of recent years, a meaty revisionist take on the Book of Exodus that jettisons most of the mysticism to concentrate on the gritty human struggle at its heart.  It’s the story of two warring brothers and the lengths each is willing to go to in order to achieve their opposing ends, and while Scott typically delivers BIG TIME on the spectacle and immersive world-building, where he really shines is as an actor’s director, here rightly focusing on the deeply complex relationship between Christian Bale’s Moses and Joel Edgerton’s Pharaoh Ramesses II.  The end result is a lesser known but no less worthy swords-and-sandals epic than his signature entry to the genre.

9.  PROMETHEUS

Like many fans of the Xenomorph saga he helped create, I was excited but also understandably wary of his return to the franchise with a proposed “prequel”, and to be honest as an Alien movie this actually is a bit of a mess, trying a little too hard to apply that connective tissue and ultimately failing more than it succeeds (indeed, as a franchise entry, direct sequel Alien: Covenant is a far more successful effort). Personally, I’ve always preferred to simply consider it as a film in its own right, and as a standalone sci-fi horror thriller this is a CRACKING film, insidious, atmospheric, moody and magnificent in equal measure, Scott weaving a sense of dangerous mystery and palpable dread throughout that grips from enigmatic start to devastating finish.  Noomi Rapace is an excellent Ripley-substitute, but the true breakaway star of the film is Michael Fassbender as twisted android sociopath David, just as chilling as the horrors he unleashes on his unsuspecting crewmates.

8.  THELMA & LOUISE

To be brutally honest, Ridley’s output in the 1990s was largely unimpressive (White Squall left me cold, while 1492: Conquest of Paradise was technically brilliant but discouragingly slow and disjointed, and I think we can all agree cinema would be better off if GI Jane had never happened), but at least he got the decade off to a strong start with this beautiful, lyrical, heartfelt and undeniably powerful tale of unerring friendship triumphing against fearful odds.  It may have been directed by a man, but it was written by a woman (Callie Khouri, creator of TV’s Nashville, who rightly won a Best Original Screenplay Oscar for her astounding work) and is unapologetically told from a woman’s point of view, which is finally becoming an accepted thing in blockbuster filmmaking, but back then it was still a new concept, and you have to applaud Scott for being one of its pioneers.  It may be most well known these days for giving Brad Pitt his big break, but the film’s focus is VERY MUCH on Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon as the titular friends, forced to go on the run after an innocent night out goes horribly wrong.  After becoming one of THE hot ticket date movies of the 90s, it’s still fondly remembered for its heartfelt message, gentle humour and powerful climax.

7.  BLACK RAIN

Probably the closest Ridley ever came to capturing his brother Tony Scott’s more popcorn-friendly brand of super-slick, glossy blockbuster fare was this Japan-set fish-out-of-water cop flick, but he couldn’t help adding a real weight and substance to the final product, and the result is one of my very favourite thrillers of the 80s.  Michael Douglas was riding high after his Academy Award win for Wall Street, but his performance as hot-headed maverick NYPD detective Nick Conklin has always been my personal favourite, and he shares strong chemistry with a young Andy Garcia as his wise-cracking partner Charlie Vincent, but the film’s understated secret weapon is heavyweight Japanese character actor Ken Takakura as Masahiro, the stoic, by-the-book Osaka police inspector they’re forced to team up with in order to capture rogue Yakuza underboss Sato (a deliciously feral turn from the Yūsaku Matsuda in his very last screen role before his death just months after the film’s release) and bust an international counterfeiting ring.  This is definitely Scott’s glossiest film, but there’s hidden depth behind the neon-drenched visuals, the expertly staged set-pieces perfectly countered by a robust story, precision-crafted character work and bucket-loads of emotional heft (especially surrounding the film’s high point, one of the most devastating character deaths in cinematic history).  It may not be held in the high regard of many of his more “sophisticated” films, but in my opinion it’s just as worthy of recognition, and I’ll defend it to the death. 

6.  THE MARTIAN

Scott’s last truly GREAT film (to date, anyway) is also one of his most effortlessly likeable, a breathless, breezy and thoroughly FUN adaptation of the bestselling debut novel of space-exploration geek Andy Weir.  Matt Damon must have been born to play Mark Watney, an astronaut in the third manned mission to Mars who is accidentally left for dead on the surface when the crew are forced to evacuate by a catastrophic dust storm; alone and with no means of escape, Watney must use all his scientific smarts to survive long enough for NASA’s desperate rescue mission to reach him.  He’s a thoroughly endearing everyman hero we can’t help rooting for, self-deprecating and oozing sass all day long, and in his company the film’s two-and-a-half hours simply RACE by, while one of Scott’s strongest ever supporting casts (which includes Jessica Chastain, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Sean Bean and a glorious scene-stealing cameo from Donald Glover) once again proves that he really is one of the very best actor’s directors around. Thoroughly ingenious, visually stunning and frequently laugh-out-loud hilarious, this is definitely Scott’s most endearing film to date, about as perfect a popcorn flick as you’re gonna find outside the MCU …

5.  KINGDOM OF HEAVEN (Director’s Cut)

Certainly the most maligned film in his oeuvre, this has perhaps the most troubled production history of ALL his works, famously mauled in post as 20th Century Fox rushed to get the still unfinished feature ready enough for its summer 2005 release, the clunky theatrical cut understandably met with mixed reviews and somewhat underperforming at the box office.  Thank the gods, then, for Scott’s unerring perfectionism – he couldn’t rest with that lacklustre legacy, so he knuckled down and produced what is, in my opinion, the very best of all his director’s cuts, reinstating an unprecedented FIFTY MINUTES of missing material which doesn’t just flesh out character arcs but frequently creates an entirely new, far richer and MUCH more rewarding overall narrative, and the final feature was met with thoroughly well-deserved critical acclaim. Not only is this one of my favourite Ridley Scott films, it’s one of my very favourite historical epics PERIOD, a magnificently rich, sprawling saga of blood, sex, honour and courtly intrigue as we follow blacksmith-turned-knight Balian (Orlando Bloom in one of his very best roles) on his quest for redemption in the Holy Land at the height of the Third Crusade.  This is still one of the director’s most expensive films, and EVERY PENNY is right there on the screen, each scene designed to perfection and dripping in astounding period detail, while the sweeping cinematography is some of the very best in his entire catalogue, and the battle sequences so expansively vast they even put Gladiator’s opening to shame.  So, far from being his greatest folly, this was ultimately one of Scott’s greatest triumphs, and I can’t recommend it enough.

4.  BLACK HAWK DOWN

In my opinion, this is the absolute PEAK of Scott’s cinematic achievements to date as an action director – almost two-and-a-half hours of relentless blood, bullets, smoke and terror that’s as exhilarating as it is exhausting, as emotionally uplifting as it is harrowing, quite simply the DEFINITIVE portrayal of the bonds of brotherhood forged by men under fire.  The film tells the story of the Battle of Mogadishu in 1993, 24 blood-soaked hours in which US military forces were trapped behind enemy lines and besieged on all sides by hostile Somali forces after a botched raid saw two Black Hawk helicopters shot down, precipitating a snowballing military catastrophe and a bitter fight for survival.  Certainly the film takes many liberties with the historical accuracy (then again that’s pretty much Hollywood’s standard approach regarding true story war movies), but there’s no denying it perfectly captures the desperate chaos the soldiers must have faced on the day, throwing the viewer headfirst into a dusty, noisy hell and refusing to let him out again.  The action sequences are some of the finest I have EVER seen committed to film, but the film has just as much heart as guts, tugging our heartstrings and jerking plenty of tears because we really come to care about these boys and what happens to them.  Intense, rousing, explosive, provocative – definitely the action highlight of Scott’s oeuvre.

3.  ALIEN

It may have some decidedly humble beginnings, but the opening chapter in the other jewel in 20th Century Fox’s sci-fi franchise crown is now considered to be THE greatest science fiction horror film of all time, and rightly so – it’s a textbook example of a flawlessly-executed high-concept “haunted house in space” flick, a master-class in slow-building atmospherics, sustained tension and some truly hair-raising shocks that are as fresh and effective today as they were back in 1979.  Not bad for something that started out as a pulpy B-picture script from Dan O’Bannon (co-writer and star of John Carpenter’s cult feature debut and one-time student film Dark Star).  The cast is stellar (ahem), dominated OF COURSE by then pretty much unknown young upstart Sigourney Weaver in what REMAINS the greatest role of her decidedly impressive career, but the true star of the film is the creature itself, the late H.R. Giger’s twisted, primal design teased with consummate skill to maximise the stealthy effectiveness of what has become the definitive extraterrestrial nightmare fuel of sci-fi cinema.  Ultimately I’m more of an Aliens fan myself, but I don’t deny that this is a MASTERPIECE of the genre, and I f£$%ing LOVE IT.

2.  GLADIATOR

It may have been usurped by Kingdom of Heaven as Scott’s most ambitious film, but his first dabble in swords-and-sandals cinema remains the best of his historical epics, and at the time proved to be a MASSIVE shot in the arm for what had long become a flagging, largely forgotten genre, spawning a veritable LEGION of bandwagon-jumping followers.  Needless to say, NOBODY does this better than Scott, who brought the opulent excess of ancient Rome and its vast empire to vivid life in all its bloodthirsty, duplicitous detail, from the back-stabbing intrigues of the Senate to the life-and-death drama of the Coliseum. The script is rich and heady stuff (penned as it is by former playwright John Logan), exquisitely performed by a premium-cut cast (particularly impressive was the late Oliver Reed in his very last screen role) and bolstered by some of the most impressive battle scenes ever committed to film, but the true driving force of the film is the ferocious antagonism between the hero and villain, Russell Crowe and Joaquin Phoenix both making the transition from rising-stars to genuine A-listers with major box office clout thanks to their truly electrifying performances.  After his relative creative slump in the 90s, Scott’s first offering of the new Millennium proved the start of a major renaissance in his work, and thankfully it’s shown no sign of flagging since …

1.  BLADE RUNNER

Not only is this my favourite film by my favourite director, but also what, if I was REALLY PRESSED, I would have to call my very favourite movie EVER.  I’m gonna be waxing most lyrical about this in great detail when I drop my big-screen sci-fi Top Ten on here, so I don’t want to talk about it TOO MUCH here … suffice to say this has been a dominant fixture in my favourites since my early adolescence, when I first stumbled across it on TV one Saturday night, and even though it was the theatrical cut with its clunky voice-over and that ridiculous tacked-on happy ending, I was instantly captured by its searing visionary brilliance and dark, brutally nihilistic power, so when Scott finally released his first Director’s Cut I was already DEEPLY in love with this film.  Sure, being a Star Wars fan, Harrison Ford will ALWAYS be Han Solo for me (along with Indiana Jones, of course), but my personal favourite role of his career is Rick Deckard, the sleazy, downtrodden and world-weary android-hunting gumshoe stumbling through his most deadly case in the mean streets of rain-lashed cyberpunk megalopolis Los Angeles circa 2019, while Rutger Hauer effortlessly steals the film as his mercurial nemesis, live-fast-die-young Nexus 6 Roy Batty.  This is still THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FILM I HAVE EVER SEEN, the visual effects work still standing up perfectly today, the exquisite design work and peerless atmospheric cinematography rightly going on to inform and influence an entire genre of science-fiction both on the big screen and off, and I cannot recommend it enough to anyone who hasn’t already seen it.  Deliciously dark, fiendishly intelligent and heart-rending in its stubborn refusal to deliver easy answers or present us with a cathartic HAPPY ending (no matter what the theatrical cut might want you to think), this really is as good as cinema gets.

There you have it, my top movies from the man I personally consider to be the greatest filmmaker around tody, and here’s hoping we’re gonna see a lot more from him yet ... Sir Ridley Scott, knight of the f£$%ing realm ...

[podcastwizard]

i saw starkid and internally screamed in joy, how awful was the movie?

ok i’ll try to keep this brief JUST KIDDING reviews under the cut

lion king

the good: i enjoyed the voice actors. john oliver and seth rogen were almost perfect matches for the originals but they made me chuckle several times, as did billy eichner’s rendition of timon. donald glover and beyonce were good but didn’t add much to the characters. 

the ok: the covers of the songs were ok but didn’t add anything to the originals. i thought the “can you feel the love tonight” duet sounded incongruous, with beyonce riffing all over a muted donald glover, and then i learned that they never sang in the booth together and their parts were recorded separately. i wish the songs were all-in-all more harmonious.

the bad: it’s been said a thousand times before but the animation is so bizarre. it’s like the animal channel had comedians voice over nature documentary footage. the mouths and movements don’t match up with the audio (at one point zazu buries his beak in his feathers but john oliver’s voice doesn’t muffle at all? that took me way out of it) the facial expressions do not match up with the feeling the voice actors are giving in their performance. ALSO they cut “be prepared” in half and i’m guessing it’s because the actor’s not a singer but come ON i LOVE that song.

all in all: good performances from the voice actors and acceptable covers of the songs but the animation is bizarre and unnecessary. 5/10

aladdin

the good: visually very pretty, reminds me of the broadway show. i’m a fan of jewel tones out the wazoo, though, so some people might get dizzy from all the colors but that’s just me. this is just a nitpick from the first movie, but i did like how the characters poked through aladdin’s very thin lies more in this movie (”can you point to your kingdom on a map for me please” and so on). also i liked jasmine telling her handmaid “he was only pretending to be a thief!” and her handmaid is like “and you believe this.” small but i enjoyed it.

the ok: the covers of the songs were ok but lacking. will smith rap-talked his way through the two big genie numbers, and i understand he’s not a singer but neither is robin williams and he managed to put so much life and character into it so what’s the deal man. the jasmine song was so pop-y and out of place, especially when there’s some perfectly good songs for jasmine in the broadway show, but it wasn’t awful. the dahlia subplot was cute if nasim pedrad’s vocal choice was a little bizarre, although i feel like she was only included so the movie would pass the bechdel test. 

the bad: the ALADDIN ACTOR. he’s handsome, a good enough singer, but had absolutely no emotion the whole time. he’s dealing with genies and magic carpets and he’s like “oh cool. hey, look, abu, it’s a magic carpet. chill. oh, you’re a genie? sweet. uh oh jafar’s gone crazy. that’s rough guys.” also, this may be a controversial hot take but i don’t like this trend of shoe-horning in "strong woman” narratives to established female characters and pretending like you’re the paragon of feminism. i like the idea of jasmine wanting to be sultan (and it makes more sense than an uneducated thief becoming sultan which was aNOTHER problem i had from the original) but there’s nothing in her character to indicate she wants this beyond a few throwaway lines and a “i’m empowered” speech at the end. don’t just tell me jasmine has read a bunch of books and cares about the people, show me! show her in the library, show her trying to make political decisions with her father, show her escaping the palace to do charity work! don’t tell me she’s a strong woman by having her sing “i won’t be speechless” before she’s magically forced into marrying jafar, show me how she’ll do anything to save her people even if it means giving up her freedom. fuck i wanna see the musical called “jasmine,” now that’s a story.

ALSO, will smith’s genie was just, like, an asshole? he was making sarcastic comments and “witty barbs” and while he had a few funny lines i was like fuck man aren’t you supposed to be fun? he straight up tells aladdin “i’m not your friend” a couple times i was so surprised by this characterization. robin williams genie wanted his freedom but he also loved and supported aladdin until he felt betrayed, not just at the very end after aladdin saves the day! aladdin was a little bit of a jerk, too, when he was expressing emotions. i wish the jafar actor had chewed the scenery more. ALSO WHERE WAS PRINCE ALI REPRISE. once again, the villain song has been stolen from me.

all in all: it was 99 degrees in manhattan today and aladdin was an acceptable two hour air conditioned distraction 6/10

[wickedsrest-rp-archive]

Name: Up To Player Species: Human Occupation: Up To Player Age: 20-40 Years Old Played By: ON HOLD Face Claim: Amber Rose Revah, Donald Glover, Rami Malek, Jenna Ushkowitz, Isaac Pham (Must be POC)  

“Quote up to player.”

You keep losing time, sometimes days. And people in your life keep approaching you with concern or anger, saying you did something you have no memory of. Every once in a while, people even call you another name entirely, like they already know and dislike you. Though you don't realize it, a poltergeist is riding along in your body... and they're kind of a jerk.

Character Facts:

Personality: Up to player

3-5 Facts, Up to player

[fineillsignup]

That pic of Kakashi sniffing Sakura's knee makes a great story prompt. Like what if Naruto walked in on them and Sakura jerked her knee in surprise, breaking Kakashi's nose. The rest of Team 7 stumbles in. Yamato is the last to enter—it's the Team 7 equivalent of that gif where Donald Glover walks into a burning room holding pizzas. Anyways, that's how the rest of Konoha learns about Sakura and Kakashi: everyone overhears Naruto yelling "Sakura broke Kakashi's nose and they're dating???!!!"

This counts as a KakaSaku micro-fic, you are now one of us, no takebacks

[mikethefanboy]

Fanboy Fail Friday! Atlanta FYC Event! AKA Donald Glover Runs Off Stage Faster Than The Millennium Falcon Can Fly! Punch It Into Hyper-Drive Chewie!

Fanboy Fail Friday! Atlanta FYC Event! AKA Donald Glover Runs Off Stage Faster Than The Millennium Falcon Can Fly! Punch It Into Hyper-Drive Chewie!

Looks can be deceiving.

I always have to remember that.

Recently, Lisa-Lisa and I headed to a panel and screening for the Donald Glover series Atlanta.

On the panel were:

Donald Glover, Creator/Executive Producer/Writer/Director/Executive Music Producer/“Earn Marks” Paul Simms, Executive Producer Dianne McGunigle, Executive Producer Stephen Glover, Executive Producer/Writer Hiro Murai,…

[mrkindakooky]

I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore 5/5

Let me just start by saying this one gets a 5/5 for being basically an FX original 

Total existential farce about a woman Ruth who’s world is entirely turned upside down in the process of trying to get ppl to stop being jerks 

I’m going to do another seven degrees of Kevin Bacon here 

Or try to 

Starting w the lead 

Ruth

Played by Melanie Lynskey

I thought she was the girl from Scott pilgrim w blue hair 

Mary Elizabeth Winstead

My roommate then proved me wrong and disagreed w this observation 

I stand by it though 

I loved that actor in the latest season of Fargo 

Which is an FX original 

A dark comedy 

Exactly like it 

As far as absurdism and dark comedy goes I think 

It made me wanna watch Atlanta 

Which I already said is one of the best shows on television in case you haven’t been keeping up w these 

And is also an FX original 

Donald Glover if you ever read this before the next season 

Where’s the next season 

I recommended the last ones to my roommates as we were watching this

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if one of the producers for Netflix does the same thing for FX or Fox 

They’re the same thing 

Idk 

It would be good to know I mean 

It would make more sense 

I’d be like I knew it 

I already feel that way and I don’t even know  

So much happens in this movie it’s insane 

All over her laptop being stolen 

Elijah Wood kills it 

Literally and figuratively in this picture 

W ninja stars 

Nunchucks maybe 

He made a great wing 

Counterpart to the one I thought was from Scott Pilgrim 

A movie I’ve never seen 

Great wardrobe 

Leather over a shirt 

Tucked into some jeans 

Rat tail to go w 

Introduced by his dog shitting on her lawn 

And his not picking it up 

Then his picking it up afterwards 

Only to leave us all wondering whether or not we’ll ever see him again 

Keeping us guessing 

Waiting and watching 

But what got me was you couldn’t tell what their interest in each other was 

Whether or not it was entirely platonic 

I think I was rooting for the opposite 

If you think you know something leave something in the comments 

See something 

Say something 

As we say now 

I guess 

Also don’t understand quite well what ends up happening to his character in the film

In this 

And lord of the rings 

Those hobbit movies 

What happened to that franchise 

Fill me in

But yeah 

This movie goes ape shit 

Even after they get the laptop back 

That’s right 

That’s not a spoiler 

All I’ll say as far as spoilers go is I think they end up at the same house from Secret Obsession 

Before it was used in Secret Obsession 

If not it’s definitely probably in the same neighborhood 

209 miles north of Northern California 

You know what would be really good is if Netflix originals were all a part of the same universe 

The same way Stephen Kings books are 

Netflix if you ever wanna make this happen hmu 

I’m your guy 

I can do this 

Not only can I do it 

I want to 

Not only do I want to

I would love to

[keepingupwithlinmanuel]

Lin nominated for his guest performance on Curb Your Enthusiasm

Guest Actor in a Comedy Series

Sterling K. Brown (“Brooklyn Nine-Nine”) Bryan Cranston (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”) Donald Glover (“Saturday Night Live”) Bill Hader (“Saturday Night Live”) Lin-Manuel Miranda (“Curb Your Enthusiasm”) Katt Williams (“Atlanta”)

MelissaFumero: YAY @Lin_Manuel! You played a jerk so well you got nominated for an Emmy! Yay!!

Also this sparked the best crossover:

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Solo: A Star Wars Story review

As a lifelong fan of Star Wars (I’ve been watching these movies since I was a little kid), there is one thing that has always and will always be true about the Star Wars fandom, no matter how many movies, TV shows, and books come out:

The Star Wars fandom is a malignant tumor on the franchise.

This is not anything new, but seriously, I saw so many people writing this film off before even seeing it – with one guy even going so far as to call it a trainwreck on par with that new David Cage game – that frankly I am confident in saying Star Wars has the worst fans of any property ever. You give them one really divisive film and then they immediately decide everything after is garbage as soon as it’s announced. But hey, I could rant all day about how awful Star Wars fans are; hell, I could write a book about it. But I’m here to talk about the movie they were so insistent would be utter garbage and a disgrace to the Star Wars name. How was it?

It was fucking excellent.

This film is just a fun, exciting space adventure; think Indiana Jones… IN SPACE! While it doesn’t reinvent the wheel or really do anything particularly new story-wise, it’s just a fun, thrilling, adventure film with heist film elements sprinkled in, it is the first Star Wars film in ages that actually invokes the feeling of fun and adventure that the original trilogy did. Do what exactly happens in this film that is so much fun? Well, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

...Han was living on the streets as a petty crook, serving some nasty criminal to stay alive and help find money to get himself and his girlfriend Qi’ra off the planet. Of course, things get complicated when they try to escape, and she’s dragged off while Han is left to join the army to fulfill his dream of being a pilot. Promising to come back for Qi’ra some day, he joins the Imperials, where he meets the thief Beckett and his crew, as well as his soon-to-be BFF Chewbacca. They decide to team up to pull off a heist that will have them rolling in money, but things go awry and soon Han and Tobias find themselves having to do ANOTHER heist for crime lord Dryden Vos, lest they wish to be killed. Can the gang pull off the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs, or is Dryden Vos gonna add their skulls to his collection of jewels, statues, and Indiana Jones props?

So this movie is easily the best Star Wars movie Disney has produced yet – and for the record, I enjoyed at least two of the previous Star Wars films. The reason I call this the best, though, is it just recaptures that fun, adventurous feeling the old movies had in spades, but ALSO because the movie invokes the other great Harrison Ford character, Indiana Jones. There is a lingering taste of Indy to  this movie, and man is it nice to see two of  the best adventure franchises’ spirits blend into one fun package. If you ever wanted to see an Indiana Jones movies with aliens that is inarguably excellent, BOOM, you’ve got it.

The cast is actually the biggest surprise, especially Alden Ehrenreich, who had insurmountable odds stacked against him as he is playing a younger version of what just might be the most beloved character in the entire franchise. Thankfully, your worries will be erased only a few short minutes in; while this is clearly a younger and more idealistic Han than the bitter, cynical jerk with  a heart of gold we all know and love, the inflections, facial expressions, and “everyman who keeps getting dragged into crazy shit” feel of the character is all still there. I fully believed this Han and the later Han could be the same character, giving a level of prequel consistency that has on occasion been missing in Star Wars films. I’m looking at you, backflipping super Yoda.

Of course, the rest of the cast is excellent as well. I don’t think I need to spend any time convincing you that Donald “Childish Gambino” Glover is probably the most perfect casting choice in the universe for Lando; as soon  as everyone heard this casting choice, it was just collectively agreed this was the most perfect casting imaginable. Lando really steals the show when he’s onscreen which is the least surprising sentence ever typed out. Chewie, of course, is as good as ever, but is that really a shock either? What’s really a shock is how good the supporting cast is. Beckett is the least surprising with how good he is, because he’s Woody Harrelson, a man who just exudes greatness. Qi’ra, on the other hand, is a bit more shocking, seeing as she’s one of those love interest characters who is obviously doomed by canon despite this, she’s given quite a bit of characterization and depth, to the point it really is kinda sad things between her and Han don’t work out. Then there’s Lando’s droid gal pal L3-37, who despite the stupid name and a rocky start actually becomes very amusing and enjoyable as her screentime progresses. Dryden Vos is a suitable villain for a story like this, with Paul Bettany giving a great performance. And then there’s the badass space pirate Enfys Nest, who sadly I cannot go into great depth without spoiling; just take my word for it, Nest is awesome. Overall, this is a really solid cast of characters we got here.

One of the best things about this film, though, is just how fresh it feels why still incorporating all sorts of old ideas. This film actually canonizes a lot of stuff from the Legends continuity, so if you were sad about some of that stuff seemingly being rendered non-canon, well boy are you in for a treat! Planets, areas, even parts of Han’s backstory, all of it appeared in the old EU before appearing here. For some of the more fresh stuff, we get a lot of cool new alien and droid designs, and while there’s obviously some CGI mixed with practical effects, it’s not ridiculous, and when we get cool aliens like Therm Scissorpunch, the Summa-verminoth, and Lady Proxima, it’s really hard to complain. There’s stuff here for everybody, old fans and new. You can’t really complain about them not caring about fans anymore now.

Sure, there are some really corny moments and some dumb, nitpicky things here and there, but that’s really in line with the spirit of the Star Wars and Indiana Jones films this movie most emulates. It’s just a fun, exciting adventure film showing how everyone’s favorite lovable rogue got his ship, his best friend, and learned the tricks of his trade, and it doesn’t try to overachieve and push things to new heights, which is a problem I have with The Last Jedi. This movie knows what it is, and it just wants you to have some fun. Casual fans will love the exciting thrills and the backstory, and longtime fans will enjoy all the shout-outs to the expansive lore of the series and appreciate the cameos and appearances of some characters, particularly a certain villain who has a brief appearance at the end. This is just a seriously great and fun film, which isn’t really something I’ve been able to honestly say about Star Wars in a while.

People who initially wrote this off and have seen it have reacted positively to it, so I guess not all hope is lost for the salty Star Wars fans out there. But the fact so many wrote this off due to the overblown hateboner for The Last Jedi is just ridiculous to me. Give this movie a chance, because whatever you feel about Star Wars right now, this will probably improve how you feel. Don’t go in expecting a reinvention of the franchise and just go in expecting a fun time like A New Hope or Raiders of the Lost Ark and you’ll be golden.

My only real issue with the film is that they did not once reference or use this song at all:

Come on, would it have KILLED them to play this over the credits?

[vifetoile]

proof that i'm bisexual, not a lesbian

* Charlie Hunnam in Pacific Rim

* Selasi on Great British Bake-Off

* Tom Hiddleston (yeah, yeah, I know... but TOM HIDDLESTON)

* Joel McHale

* Donald Glover

* John Cho

* Jason Momoa (when he’s not being a jerk)

* Domnhall Gleeson

[mavspeed]

is community worth watching? I've heard Chevy Chase is a bit of a jerk, but I'm kind of fine with watching it for Abed and the rapper guy (I forgot his name...I know he wrote Atlanta).

community is ABSOLUTELY worth watching, i’m so addicted to it!! idk if u mean the character chevy plays or the actor himself but honestly...does not surprise me lmao. PLEASE PLEASE watch it for abed and troy (ur talking about donald glover lmfjngjngj) they’re so good. the best boyfriends ever

[weeklyhumorist]

Anatomy of a Sketch: Derrick Comedy’s “Thomas Jefferson”

In the mid-2000s, when college sketch group videos were suddenly all over the place, Derrick Comedy easily made the best ones. Derrick was a five-person operation originally out of New York University consisting of director Dan Eckman, producer Meggie McFadden, and primary performers Dominic Dierkes, Donald Glover, and D.C. Pierson, all of whom have variously gone on to act, direct, write for television, and publish books. Collectively, however, they’re best probably best known for their 2009 cult classic feature Mystery Team, but they also made “Thomas Jefferson,” which is, fun fact, the greatest comedy sketch of all time. Really. 

    I told the members of Derrick just that when they agreed to answer my questions about the making of the sketch, but I think they would have replied anyway.

  It’s staggeringly original.

The sketches go to completely unexpected places, and constantly elevate the situation and “yes and” themselves. It makes for a novel product, and “Thomas Jefferson” is that kind of sketch. The plot: A reporter (Glover) from a TV newsmagazine interviews a man that tests have proven to be the real Thomas Jefferson (Pierson), a time-traveler and complete jerk who must endure “infinite revolutions of time until he finds the Critical Inconsistency” and ultimately defeat a “Dark Jefferson” to quiet “the chiming of the Infinity Bell.”

  There are lots of surprise turns.

While a sketch about a time-travelling Thomas Jefferson has a lot of potential and would make for a serviceable enough product, this Thomas Jefferson doesn’t want to talk about his supernatural abilities, or even the true intent of the Founding Fathers. He just wants to rock out with the band he discovered, an obviously and egregiously shitty group called the Sail Away Boys (portrayed by L.A. band Hi Ho Silver Oh), led by a yellow-jumpsuited guitarist named Jerry (Dierkes). More turns come in the form of the hilariously cynical reason why Jefferson is so into this band, as well as his seemingly magical ability to give people terrible diseases.

  It quickly and smoothly establishes its complex concept.

You don’t need a green-screen and latex costumes to do sci-fi properly. I mean, those things certainly help establish a world and let the audience in on the deal, but the best performative sci-fi can be done with words only. Like how Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy originated as a radio play, “Thomas Jefferson” includes an elaborate backstory and a world with its own “rules” – and hints of what’s to come – through some stray lines of dialogue. That is some extremely agile and confident writing. The sketch establishes its conceit quickly, nails some exposition, and gets out of the way so the actors can just start peeling off comedy bits, in much the same way that Thomas Jefferson says Jerry peels off hot licks.

  It takes an obnoxious celebrity down a peg.

We as a culture love laughing at comedy people laughing at famous people who don’t know how far up their own asses they are. That notion is at the core of “Thomas Jefferson.” “As I recall, we were all driving from New York to L.A. together and we kind of became obsessed with this radio interview of Billy Bob Thornton where the interviewer wants to ask him about his whole career but Billy Bob only wants to talk about his band,” Eckman said. “We thought it would be funny if someone had like all the answers in the universe but still only wanted to talk about their band.”

  It’s so incredibly polished…

Say what you will about the magic of improv and the great comedy that comes out spontaneity and living in a moment, but it’s hard to beat a meticulously crafted sketch with just the right beats and stellar lines made up of the precisely correct words. It took Derrick months to perfect this sketch, and it shows. It’s also in the workshopping phase where actors and writers get to know the material on a deep level, which can generate even more great bits. “After doing the bit together for about a year, I think we all knew how the beats were going to shake out,” Derrick producer Meggie McFadden said. “D.C. wrote up the draft when we decided to shoot it, and came up with the great idea of a ‘dark’ Jefferson and the Infinity Bell, which are my favorite specifics from the sketch.”

  …But also loose.

On the other hand, you don’t want a sketch to be so tightly wound and have actors so devoted to delivering the script to the letter that they can’t add in something. “There are some improv’d lines” in the piece, according to Pierson, such as Jerry remarking that Jefferson calls Jerry’s nephew “future Hitler” and Glover’s reporter getting so frustrated with Jefferson that “he walks off, which really bring the adversarial relationship he has with the reporter full circle.” There are just an impressive number of layers to such a short and ridiculous sketch.

  The music is hilariously godawful.

The idea that Thomas Jefferson is obsessed with a shitty lite rock can only work if the lite rock band is believably shitty. And the Sail Away Boys are just that shitty. (It took real skill from Pierson and Hi Ho Silver Oh to sound that bad on purpose). “Jefferson is obsessed with Jerry’s ‘hot licks’ because once you’ve experienced all of time, what you value most is the truly mediocre. And Jerry’s ‘hot licks’ are the most mediocre thing the universe has to offer,” says Dierkes about the band’s song, “Twelfth Avenue Train.” (Pierson calls that song “a Dadaist ‘Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out.”)

  A good sketch is all about what didn’t go in the sketch

Pierson reminds that a great filmed sketch, particularly one that takes the form of a newsmagazine parody, a genre with its own rules and limitations, is only as good as its editing. Derrick had to cut out a lot of Sail Away Boys performance footage and kill some scripted moments that didn’t quite work, and then cut the thing together into a tight little package. “There was a bit I liked in the script about a physicist running up to write down what Jefferson is saying and he’s annoyed about it and wishes it were someone from Rolling Stone,” Pierson says. “Dan is a very good editor and one of his many strengths is he cuts together a great version of the thing you actually have, not the thing you thought you thought you had.”

Anatomy of a Sketch: Derrick Comedy’s “Thomas Jefferson” was originally published on Weekly Humorist

[jayvoicetrg]

Beyoncé – Spirit

Beyoncé – Spirit

Nala has brought her voice to The Lion King: The Gift soundtrack and fans can’t handle it. Next Friday millions of viewers will congregate at local movie theaters nationwide to witness the reintroduction of Disney’s classic tear-jerking, side-splitting film, The Lion King. This latest version of the film stars the likes of Donald Glover, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Alfre Woodard, JD…