#Don’t think this wouldn’t happen

[friendlyneighborhoodplebeian]

@ Mahal’s Hall front door circa Gimli’s death.

*knock knock*

Mahal, yelling through the door: I don’t want what you’re selling!

???: I want my husband back!

Mahal, opening the door: What?

Legolas: Give me my husband back.

Mahal: Look it doesn’t work like that—

Legolas bites Mahal’s leg.

Mahal: WTF—

[katisbadatnames]

Yeah this is exactly what happened

hello isat fandom I have arrived!

please accept this humble offering

[rystiel]

well that’s one way to come out i guess

[girlsdads]

neurosurgery resident max the night before he’s scheduled to fly solo for the first time (he’s gonna be performing an awake craniotomy i decided), he can’t sleep bc he’s so anxious about doing everything right, normally he would jerk off to fall asleep but he’s like what if i accidentally jerk off too hard and my wrist is sore tomorrow and i fuck up someone’s actual brain

i lost the plot completely after this but lfg

he texts daniel who is also a surgical resident (he’s in trauma surgery so it’s still a precise field but more bloody and hectic and nobody he operates on is ever awake during it at least) and is like this sucks i need rest but i can’t sleep and i can’t jerk off bc i might sprain my wrist and then it will cramp tomorrow and i will stab my forceps into someone’s good brain tissue and daniel is like jeez max how hard do you jerk off lol. max is like *pouts, kicks his feet and pulls pillow over his face in frustration* dont make fun of me daniel this is very serious what do i do. daniel is like okay i’ll be there soon, be hard when i get there.

max is like what. but he’s honestly already at half mast from mentioning to daniel about jerking off and daniel is always taking care of him and max trusts him that he will actually help even if he has no idea what’s in store. there’s a little kernel of hope that maybe daniel means to get him off himself, but as max lays there hard and leaking as he waits for daniel to come over he tries not to get his hopes up even if what the fuck else would daniel say to be hard for.

daniel takes longer than expected to get to max’s apartment and by the time he finally arrives max is sweating and panting and about ready to tear his hair out if he doesn’t get to come or sleep or both. daniel approaches max’s bed (he has a key of course) and is stripping off his pants and underwear as he does (he keeps on his oversized hoodie from med school bc cozy), his cock is big and also getting hard and max hopes so much that daniel will wrap one of his lovely hands around max or maybe he will even grind his cock up against max’s and max can come that way.

max almost blacks out as daniel knee walks on the bed to straddle his hips and says softly tell me to stop if this isn’t ok, reaches back to spread himself open and lowers down to tease his hole over the soaked head of max’s cock. max is struck completely dumb as he feels daniel start to open around him, feels him already soft and wet and hot like he got himself ready beforehand because he was planning to do this for max.

daniel has barely sat all the way down on max’s dick before max can’t help but come right into daniel, bare and sloppy and perfect. when he’s done he makes grabby hands to daniel to get him to shimmy forward so he’s straddling max’s face, max is trying to hold his thighs and his hips and just grab him everywhere but daniel is like shhh baby you need these hands to be rested and gently holds max’s wrists and presses his hands down against the mattress by his sides, says be a good boy and keep them there for me, max nods because anything daniel, anything. daniel sits right down on max’s face and grinds on his tongue and his chin and his perfect nose until he comes all over max’s forehead and hair and a little on the pillows. daniel licks the come off max’s face then goes to the bathroom to clean himself out and comes back with a damp cloth to get the sticky remnants off max’s skin. daniel cuddles up to max after and max is asleep almost instantly, feeling safe and relaxed and happy.

the next day max nails his procedure, the patient does great and is recovering well in the PACU when his attending comes over and compliments the impeccable steadiness of his hands. max hopes the sickly fluorescent lighting overhead washes him out enough to hide his immediate flush.

max goes on to become one of the world’s leading neurosurgeons and daniel still sits on his cock whenever he can before max has a scheduled surgery the end.

[yuenity]

a messy post-revolution deviant Connor <3

Revisiting dbh was not on my 2024 bingo card 😭 I don’t even know if this fandom is still alive, but the robot cop has once again taken over every corner of my mind

[puhpandas]

hi. beckory and fronnie parallel

[dykedvonte]

Honestly a sorry from Curly would mean nothing to Anya.

I’m not saying she wouldn’t want to hear it, it’s a hollow vindication. She told him and he couldn’t hear her. He saw it and he couldn’t understand it. They both experienced it and he should apologize that it took that for him to get it. She already knows he’s sorry but what’s the point if neither of them can do anything about it? It’s earnest but at the same time what she wants an apology for is what Curlu can’t apologize for.

He can’t be sorry for what happened to her even if he is. Even if he carries that guilt with him until the day he dies it’s not all his to bare. The most heinous parts aren’t his weight even if he tries to balance it. A part of her bitterness is the fact he can’t be sorry for it all. She can’t just direct it all towards him even if she wants to. She was failed in so many ways by all of them. It hurts with him the most cause he had the power but they all did nothing in the grand scheme of things.

The one person who should apologize would never and could never, it’s not something you can be sorry for. She wants an apology, she needs one but what would it fix?

[r0semultiverse]

Y’all are aware we probably have to keep it in the top 10 overall into at least the 19th right? One business day after initial intended marketed advertised release supposedly. Then we should be good unless Mark says otherwise.

[ninyard]

Hey so like. You know when Andrew was going through withdrawal? Do you think Proust let him smoke, or was he withdrawing from that at the same time too?

Or maybe he lets him smoke after depriving him of them for a while. Andrew’s hands shaking after a session with Proust and he needs a cigarette but it makes him feel sick, because he’s not smoking as much as he’s used to, so when he’s finally allowed to smoke again it’s horrible and his head rushes and his hands tremble and his stomach feels sick and his throat hurts. His stomach is sick because of the nicotine and tobacco but it’s not just that and he knows it. He wants to run away but he can’t. He has no one to talk to. He sits in a courtyard with a cigarette burning because he can’t smoke any more or else he’ll puke, and he thinks of Neil, just smelling the smoke instead. Watching it rise. Taking his time with it because he knows when he’s finished he’ll have to go back inside to his doctors and his stomach won’t feel better and his head won’t hurt any less.

[a-polite-melody]

“Maybe the people who sent the anons were trolls, but the transandrodorks are defending the sentiment so actually…”

Are the “transandrodorks” defending that transmisogynistic copypasta in the room with us? Or are you just upset that trans men/mascs are speaking up and saying we aren’t okay with being labeled as untrustworthy because of there being an anon copypasta and simply our being trans men/mascs?

[thereareeyesinsidethetrees]

stan: how can you be polyamorous and aroace, or…whatever mabel called it?

ford: in my case, i have my family and i have my platonic polycule. i would prefer to never have to interact with anyone outside these two groups

stan: what about soos and wendy? they’re not in either of those groups

ford: first of all, i am soos’ uncle, second of all, are you saying you don’t believe i would both die and kill for wendy?

stan: you’ve got a weird way of defining family, six

ford: it’s my favorite way

[moonilit]

why is polygamy not an option for Dick Grayson and im asking the writers, like he loves both Kory and Babs? I don’t see Kory and Babs being together but if they are ok with it Dick can be with both of them? Like he have a family in both the titans and gotham ?? Instead of this on and off with both that leaving everyone hanging let them be happy

[themoonunderstoodmydadjokes]

I don’t think we talk enough about how being love bombed can like really fuck you up??? Like yeah is it easy to identify from an outside perspective? Absolutely. But being in it and having someone devote that much time and attention to you (even if it is manipulative in nature) to then having it end abruptly when they’ve gotten what they wanted out of you… 🫠

[overtake]

red bull: daniel’s bad habits from mclaren are fixed, he did well in the sim, and his tire test was so good that we immediately knew he was ready to be in a car.

alpha tauri & yuki: daniel’s feedback on the car has been instrumental, and he performed so well in difficult race conditions even though he didn’t have any upgrades and had some bad luck.

rando twitter user who doesn’t have the data, didn’t know liam lawson’s name three weeks ago, and constantly insults the way red bull quickly drops drivers who don’t perform: they’re only letting him drive for pr even though he’s a washed up failure.

[turtleblogatlast]

I am once again overcome by the sheer magnitude of pranks Mikey and Leo could commit on the world of archaeology through their combined abilities of time and space

With enough time for Mikey in particular to be strong enough to make a small time portal - again within Leo’s portal opened in Someplace, Somewhere - they could plant so much shit just to mess with historians.

Like - Mikey wanted to try painting Greek-style pottery and Leo is like “hey hey wait…”

And now there is newly discovered evidence of Greek depictions of humanoid turtles laying around.

[chirpsythismorning]

I rest easy knowing that the planted milkvan roof pap photos will be referenced on the straight-baiting Wikipedia page soon enough.