#Do you want him to crash out that badly? he’s already got nothing else to lose 💀
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trapping jericho in a room full of edited pictures of people other than him with y/n and pictures of y/n with all their former romantic lovers, friends, besties, and so on. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
#What has he done to you to warrant such a punishment? 😭#Do you want him to crash out that badly? he’s already got nothing else to lose 💀#Jericho the Angel#Yandere angel#2dsimp chats 💬
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Mick x driver!male!reader but childhood friends to rivals to lovers trope pls?
been writing this for so long, but I love it so much, and I'm finally happy with it :)
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mick schumacher x male!driver!reader - childhood friends to rivals to lovers
2004
---
“Micky, Micky!”
Michael watched as the 2 kids smiled at the camera, both struggling to hoist their trophies up for the trophy. He saw the trophy tilt and tried to cry out, however it was too late.
Y/N could feel the tears welling up in his eyes as his head hurt. He’d heard his friend Max’s dad say that men don’t cry, and unless he was dying, there was no reason to cry. But he was 5 and the impact that the metal trophy had made with his head had really hurt.
But before the tears could fall out, Mick had already placed both his and Y/N’s trophies on the ground and was giving his best friend the biggest hug, and trying to stop him crying.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay You’re okay. This only hurt because it scared you. It doesn’t hurt as badly as the karting crash from last month, you’re okay, aren’t you.”
Y/N wiped his tears and nodded, trying to smile as he gasped to get his tears under control. Mick gave him the biggest hug ever as he stopped crying and picked up his trophy again.
Michael watched as the photos began again and the 2 kids smiled. Those 2 were going to do great things some day, he knew it.
---
2009
---
Michael didn’t think that Y/N would be happy when he got out of the kart. Mick and him had been fighting the entire race, miles ahead of anyone else and it had looked like Y/N would win it.
Until Mick went for a daring dive down the inside of Y/N’s kart, resulting in a spin for Y/N. He’d gotten back, gotten up to close to Mick again, but that spin had been costly, as Mick crossed the line and Y/N crossed it in second.
Michael didn’t even try to look for Y/N’s parents. They either would’ve gone home, expecting Michael to bring him home, or they’d be waiting in the pits for an opportunity to berate their son.
If they had done the former, Michael reckoned he would simply decide to let Y/N stay over for a sleepover tonight. He needed it.
As Michael wandered down to the pits where the drivers were finishing and parking up, he tried to blend in. It was easier than it used to be, back when he was racing he’d spend a while after every race taking photos with a couple of kids, talking to them, trying to convince them not to give up on their dreams even when it’s impossible. But now, ducking through, he was almost invisible.
And as he approached the two 10 year old boys, all he saw was jubilation. The 2 kids were happy, celebrating each other.
‘Papa! Papa! Did you see that, I won!’
“He did very well, even though I’m not exactly happy about that dive down the inside.”
Nothing about Y/N’s face indicated that he was unhappy, except for the darted around eyes that signalled he was looking for his parents.
They weren’t here. Clearly. Michael pulled Y/N into a hug. “C’mon, let’s get you 2 on the podium, and then we can head home. You wanna stay at home tonight?”
Michael didn’t even realise he had referred to his own home as Y/N’s home, as he saw his face light up.
“Home sounds good,” smiled Y/N, as he darted off to follow Mick to the podium.
---
2019
---
“Mick. I get that we were friends, back in karting, but life happens. Stuff happens. We’re both gunning for the championship and the f1 seat.”
“That doesn’t mean that anything has to change between the 2 of us, Y/N. We never let that stuff get between us usually. We were fighting for seats our entire childhood, and it never got between us then.”
“Yeah, well, this is the big leagues, Schumacher, sink or swim. I would wish you good luck out there, but I think I need it more.”
Y/N smiled at Mick, but it wasn’t a nice smile. It was a planned smile, like he knew what he was doing the whole time. Then he turned and left the driver room, heading towards the garage.
Mick tried to stop his eyes welling up with tears. First of all, Y/N was his friend. He didn’t know where this competitive spirit had come from. Well, Y/N had always been competitive, but not an asshole. And right now, he was being an asshole.
And Y/N knew of all people how much he hated his last name. How he hated when people referred to him as Schumacher, how he wanted to be seen as his own person, not his father’s son. And yet Y/N had called him Schumacher.
“Fucking asshole” was all Mick thought to himself as he prepared for the race.
---
2020
---
Y/N looked like he was going to throw something. Or murder someone. Or crash his car into a barrier. He looked positively fuming as Prema surrounded Mick, congratulating him on his driver championship and celebrating the team’s championship.
But Y/N, the person who’d been with him since karting, since they’d both been born. That was who he wanted to see and talk to. He bounded towards where the other prema driver was getting weighed.
“Y/N! Y/N, we got the championship!”
Y/N didn’t respond, just simply nodded, before listening to whatever the official was saying and wandering away from Mick.
As if he didn’t exist.
“Y/N” he called again, seeing him take out his headphones, maybe he hadn’t heard Mick’s calls. He could hear his family and team calling out, ready to celebrate. But he wanted to celebrate with Y/N.
Mick called out again “Y/N.”
“The fuck you want Schumacher?”
“I… wanted to celebrate the win with you. We won the teams championships. We should be celebrate.”
“Yeah, congrats. Congrats on your seat for next year as well.”
“I- oh, c’mon Y/N, you’ll get a seat. I bet Christian Horner’s just seeing how long you can hold out before he gives you the Alpha Tauri seat.”
“Yeah, well. Currently you have a contract and I don’t, so excuse me if I’m a little salty.”
“Y/L/N.”
Mick saw the way his jaw tightened, as he heard his father’s voice.
“I have to go, now Mick. Enjoy your win, and congratulations.”
Mick watched him walk off, towards his father. He saw the way he curled in on himself, as his father slung his arm around his shoulders.
Days later, when Y/N’s seat at Alpha Tauri was confirmed, Mick messaged him congratulations.
Y/N didn’t message back.
---
2022
---
“When did you start hating me Y/N?”
Mick was pissed. Y/N had nearly taken him out early in the race. He hadn’t spoken to him in years, since the end of 2020, over a year ago. He missed his childhood friend, and the fans had too.
Finding childhood photos of the 2 of them, often with Michael, had brought up more painful memories than he would like to admit.
Y/N was hyper aware of the cameras following them through the paddock, and so continued walking until he could pull Mick into a quiet corner where the cameras couldn’t reach them.
Inevitably, Y/N thought as he pulled Mick into the side of a motorhome, this will end up on the next season of drive to survive, but god do I care, no.
“I never hated you Mick. I tried to make myself hate you, but I couldn’t. You could hate me, and I would still love you.”
Y/N tried to retract the ‘l’ word as soon as it came out of his mouth, covering his mouth and praying that Mick didn’t hear him correctly. Yeah they’d said ‘i love you’ to each other as kids, but that was when they were young, and kids and they didn’t understand the word, or the world that they lived in, or themselves fully. It was just another silly childhood promise.
Besides, while Y/N understood himself as queer, there were never any queer drivers, and he was probably about 95% sure that Mick was straight. He’d been spotted with girls through the junior formulas and he’d even been introduced to a couple of the girls. They were all lovely, but they never seemed to last a long time.
Mick's eyes widened as he heard the love word come out of Y/N’s mouth. Honestly, he was confused as to how he never saw the signs of Y/N’s queerness. The fact that there was 1 girl in karting, when he was 14, and then she never showed up again. The way his eyes had always lingered just long enough that it was unusual, but not long enough to cause any real suspicion. The way he’d gone on a few dates here and there, but always been super hush hush about the whole thing, not mentioning it until after it had happened. The way those dates had always had they/them pronouns, or they hadn’t been named.
“Y/N…you love me?” Fuck, Y/N had really fucked this up.
“No,” Mick’s heart dropped “No, I, fuck fine. It’s not like I’m ruining any friendship. Yes. Yes. I love you. And I have since, well not the day I met you. Maybe when we first got into single seaters… fuck i don’t know, but yeah i love you.” Y/N took Mick’s silence badly and just decided to walk out towards his driver’s room.
Mick didn’t follow him.
---
2025
---
Y/N couldn’t even be pissed as he crossed the line second behind Mick. The Ferrari just seemed happy, even from 5 seconds behind.
“AND MICK SCHUMACHER CROSSES THE LINE FIRST TO WIN THE GERMAN GRAND PRIX AND CLAIM HIS FIRST EVER WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP, and there’s his father on the screen looking every part like the proud dad that I’d imagine he is right now.”
“That’s right Crofty, it may not be the 7 world championships that Schumacher Sr achieved, but still this championship must mean so much to him.”
Mick pulled in to the pitlane, behind the number 1 stand, and he just sat in the scarlet Ferrari crying.
He had done it.
He had won a world championship.
Y/N pulled up beside him in the dark blue red bull, smile evident even after losing the championship.
He watched as he pulled off his helmet, watching as Mick embraced his family, his mum, his dad, his sister, his niece. He stood to the side high fiving his team, and thanking them for a great year. Next year would be their year.
And he didn’t exactly try and stop Mick as the German ran towards him, helmet off, and pulled him into a kiss.
---
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#f1 x reader#miloformula123fan#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x male reader#mick schumacher x reader#mick schumacher#mick schumacher fic#mick schumacher fanfic#mick schumacher x male reader#mick schumacher x you#mick schumacher x y/n
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Things to Learn II
A/N: I kind of love writing these characters? tsm for the love on the original I’m glad I got to dive back into their story again. I’m starting a taglist so if you’d like to be on it give me a shout :)
Part 1 / 2 / 3 /
————————————————————
Harry rushes out of the toilets so he doesn’t miss the opening scene and nearly crashes into someone standing around the corner.
“Sorry!” He says as he tries to rush on by.
“Harry!?” The person calls his name.
He stops in his tracks and takes a look at who he just bumped into. And of course, it would be her.
“YN,” he swallows the lump forming in his throat. “Hi-uh what are you doing here?”
“Watching a movie?” She raises a brow. Still the same attitude as before.
“Oh! Right. Yeah. Me too-“
“Which movie are you here for?”
“The Planet of the Apes reruns,” Harry points to the door he so badly wants to walk through. As much as he wanted to stand here and talk to YN, have her attention all to himself, he wanted to watch the movie he came here for more.
“Well I’m here for that new romcom but Raina ditched me to go to that riverbank bonfire bullshit everyone’s talking about. But I hate smelling like campfire afterwards plus I already bought popcorn-“
“Didn’t that movie start 15 minutes ago?” Harry notices she’s standing in front of the poster. Why was she hovering outside?
“Well yeah because I’m wondering if I should be the loser inside watching a romcom by herself.”
Harry doesn’t know if he should be offended—he regularly watched movies by himself during the summer when he had nothing else to do. But then he realizes YN and her opinions weren’t something he took offence to ever since he put down his intellectually superior flag.
“Well I’m here with Caleb if you want to-“
“Bloody hell I was waiting for you to get the hint,” she brushes past Harry and he trails behind, confused.
“You wanted to watch Planet of the Apes?”
“No! I just didn’t want to watch a movie by myself. And you were supposed to invite me.”
“Oh,” these were the social rules Harry often missed. It was sort of nice having YN spell it out for him. “You could have just said-“
“Shh,” she shushes him as they enter the theatre.
Harry was pleased at the way Caleb’s eyes bugged out of his head at the sight of YN.
“I thought you were going to the toilet?” He whispers loudly.
“I was but she-“ Harry cuts off as someone in front turns around with a dirty look. The movie hadn’t even started.
YN sits beside Harry and begins snacking on her popcorn. She hogs the armrest and he lets her, and when she pulls out her sweets and offers it to Harry and his friend they end up swapping most of their snacks. Despite being distracted at first he has a really fun time with the two of them.
Outside in the lobby after the movie is done, YN hesitates after throwing out her trash. It looks like she was wondering if she should stick around or not.
“Thanks,” she finally tells Harry. “Let’s not do this again though.”
“You joined us,” Harry reminds her. She eyes both him and Caleb.
“Yeah, exactly?” She says with a hand on her hip.
“I’m j’saying we weren’t the ones ditched here,” Harry says before he could stop himself. Her pleasant expression falls and Harry can see Caleb concentrate on something far away. Coward.
“Firstly I was invited to join the party but like I said I don’t like smelling like campfire. Secondly, just cuz I told you I was ditched doesn’t make you-“
“Um, I gotta go.” Caleb pipes in from behind. Both Harry and YN turn to him and he almost shrinks. “My ride is here um…”
“See ya later,” Harry cups his hand and Caleb bolts out faster than a cat seeing a dog.
“You were saying?” Harry turns back to YN.
“Look,” she points to the other theatre, the one she’d been standing in front of when Harry bumped into her. “The next showing starts in a bit.”
Harry stares, trying to figure out what she was asking.
“We could watch it?”
“I thought we shouldn’t do this again?”
“Shut up,” she starts walking away.
“Isn’t this illegal?” Harry catches up to her. “I don’t even want to watch this movie.”
“Actually you do,” she grabs his arm and pulls him up the stairs even though he’s following her anyway. Harry tries not to focus on the exact part of his arm she’s touching but it feels warmer than usual. “And secondly nobody is going to kick us out. It doesn’t even matter, do something illegal once in a while.”
Harry follows along with her and they end up having a lot more fun at the second movie. He actually finds it funny and it reminds him of watching these during the holidays with his sister and mum. YN leans her head on his shoulder during an emotional scene and Harry feels like he’s made of clay until she takes it off and laughs at the next scene.
“You had fun, admit it!” YN says as they walk out of the theatre. It was close to midnight now and Harry was planning on walking home.
“Maybe!” Harry doesn’t.
“Liar,” she skips ahead of him. “Secretly you thought my romcom was a lot cooler than your Ape movie.”
“Planet of the Apes, and you enjoyed that one.”
“I’m not denying it,” she shrugs. “C’mon I know you’ve got a sister don’t you watch romcoms with her?”
Harry seems disturbed by the idea, “Not that sort. We watch holiday ones during Christmas but-“
“Oh my god like the Holiday?”
“Yeah I’ve seen that a billion times. And there’s one with Keira Knightley-“
“Oh I bet there is,” she nudges him and Harry blushes. “She does seem your type.”
“Yeah and you probably love Jude Law in The Holiday.”
“Well yeah he’s alright,” she pouts her mouth and doesn’t finish her sentence.
“No way,” Harry laughs. “It’s not Jude Law.”
“You know who’s peng? Tom Hardy. There’s a man I’d watch in a romcom over and over.”
“What?” Harry didn’t know who that was but now he was curious.
“Yeah. You should look him up. Anyway, my ride’s gonna be here any minute so I’m staying here.”
“Oh. Yeah right.” Harry thought they were walking home together but she stays near the closest bus shelter. “Well bye.”
“Bye,” she waves him off.
He doesn’t think he’d see her again that summer. But the next morning she sends him a text saying it was fun and he should come over some time to broaden his romcom education. He thinks she’s joking but the following Tuesday she shows up at his house with DVDs and Percys and although Harry’s mum is surprised to see a girl friend at the house, she orders them pizza and his family gives him the den all to themselves.
After watching two movies back to back and feeling sick from all the junk they’ve consumed they lay on the floor. As evening falls through the wispy curtains of his front window Harry asks YN about her summer and uni. She’s cagey and likes to turn questions around on him but it’s nice talking to her like that with most of her guard down. It almost feels like they’re friends.
***
YN shows up at Harry’s house after dinner. His butt is glued down on his sofa ready to settle into a night of playing video games but the ringing at the door interrupts him.
“Harry!” His sister calls out from somewhere. He was closest to the door and on his way there he peeks through the curtains of the den to see a familiar head of hair. In a cap.
“Hey!” She walks right in.
“Hey…” Harry looks at her get-up: a tanktop and gauzy skirt paired with the trainers she always wore.
“Oh YN,” Harry’s mum pokes her head down from the staircase. “You haven’t been around in a while how are things?”
“Hi Mrs. Styles.” YN was always the perfect angel in front of his parents but his mum was right, it had been a couple weeks since she came by. “I’m good! I’ve been working a few shifts at the shop I do summers at. I had the day off I’m trying to convince Harry to come out with me.”
She was, Harry thought. And she had a summer job?
He’s reminded that no matter how much closer they got, she was always somewhat of a mystery.
“Oh where are you heading out?” Harry’s mum walks down a few steps and sits down.
“There’s a get-together of some of our school friends. Harry never shows up to these things so-“
“Harry,” his mum joins in. “You should go!”
“I never even said no, jeez!” Harry grows flustered.
“But he was totally going to,” YN says to his mum. She laughs and Harry feels peer-pressured.
“Fine! I’ll go.”
“Well be safe,” his mum gets back up. “Make good decisions.”
Harry glares at YN when his mum clears the area and she smiles sweetly back at him.
“Oops.”
“For the record I don’t want to go.”
“Exactly,” she smiles. “Now where’s your room we need to put you in something better than that.”
He was in very comfortable sweatpants and a tee. By the time he was leaving he was in was a short sleeved button-up layered over the same tee and shorts he didn’t even know he owned. She’d forced him to take his glasses off and wear contacts then ruffled his hear with gel and she’d been so close every one of Harry’s senses had been hyper-tuned to her. YN had been oblivious.
“I can’t find my phone,” Harry pats his pockets down as they go downstairs.
“Just leave without it! We’re gonna be late!”
“Can you just call it?” Harry’s halfway up the steps. “I can’t leave without it.”
YN rolls her eyes and calls it. It rings from the den and she walks towards it.
“Seriously?” She walks back out. “You never changed my name?”
Future Prime Minister YN with a heart. It had stayed the same since their group project.
“I guess not,” Harry suddenly feels even more self conscious.
“You can keep the heart,” she goes into his contacts after holding his phone up to his face.
“Hey I never said you could go in!”
“Shush!” She smirks as she updates her name. “There.”
“You don’t want to change the photo?” Harry asks and sighs at her new name: HRH 💖
“No time. Let’s go!” She pushes him out the door.
“I’m going I’m going!” Harry closes the door behind him and they set off down the road.
“You’re so lucky your mum’s so chill,” YN says as they walk.
“Where are we going?” Harry asks.
“My mum thinks I’m at Raina’s watching movies or some shite. Your mum actually like, encouraged you to go out. She didn’t even give you a curfew.”
“Well I never do this,” Harry replies. “What is this anyway.”
“Another bonfire-“
“Does Raina do those like every week?” Harry remembered something about this that night they bumped into each other at the cinema.
“No,” YN says, offended that he would criticize her friend in any way. “The guy she’s seeing right now knows a guy. They do them like a couple times a month. If they did it every week don’t you think someone would catch on?”
Harry shrugs.
“Anyway, you have a decent closet why do you always dress so…boring?”
“I don’t dress boring,” Harry shoves his hand into his pockets. “I’m just comfortable.”
“I’m comfortable,” she points out.
Harry eyes her outfit again, she looked nice and her legs looked particularly nice in the skirt. Harry looks up in the silence he’d just created to find YN staring at him with a raised brow.
“Had a good look?” She punches his arm.
“Ow,” Harry rubs his arm but he deserved it. He’d been oggling. But ever since she’d gotten into his face to run her gelled fingers through his hair, and the cloud of her shampoo or perfume whatever it was closed in around him he’s having a hard time not glancing at her every opportunity.
“Have you got anyone you’re seeing?” Harry asks.
“Nope,” she pops her p. “With uni starting I didn’t really want to let a guy distract me and fuck with my feelings.”
“Wow,” it slips out of Harry’s mouth.
“What?” She narrows her eyes. “And we’re going right here.”
They turn the corner and she asks Harry again what his reaction meant.
“Nothing. I’m just surprised you’re not having a summer fling or something.”
“God Harry, do you think I just date boys to get off or something? I’ve barely had a boyfriend-“
She cuts herself off.
“What?” Harry missed what happened.
“Nothing.”
“Aw c’mon you can’t say ‘nothing’ now,” Harry pushes. After knowing YN this long, she was still scary, but he’d learned where and how to poke at her to get more answers without getting his head bitten off. “You’ve dated plenty of guys.”
“For someone with his nose in a book all the time you claim to know a lot about who I’m dating.”
“It’s hard not to miss what everyone’s talking about.”
“So you believe all the rumours? In that case it’s probably true you cried your first time.”
“What?!” Harry flushes. “Who said that?”
“But rumours are true right?”
“Fine. You just always had one of the football blokes nearby I just-“
“So you just thought I dated the whole team?”
Fuck, Harry realizes he’d screwed up when she starts to speed walk away. He’d spoken before thinking about what it might sound like from her end.
She starts to walk ahead and Harry fastens his pace to catch up. He reaches out and clasps her shoulder. “YN wait I’m sorry. I didn’t think-“
“Whatever,” she brushes his hand off.
He felt awful. He tries again, grabbing her arm this time and she comes to a stop.
“I’m sorry!” He says again. “Just forget I said anything.”
He’s surprised to see her teary eyes when she turns to him.
“What?” She snaps. “Never seen a girl cry before?”
“No I just—I didn’t mean to make you cry-“
“Oh you didn’t make my cry don’t worry,” she huffs. “I just hate how everyone in school always judges me based on their own fucking insecurities.”
Harry pauses, it was true. And he knew YN was only as cutting as she was so she could be taken seriously—so nobody would walk all over her just because she was a girl. He shouldn’t have made that comment, he knew that. He knew better but apparently he still had things to learn.
“I shouldn’t have judged you like that,” Harry mumbles. “I knew better.”
Her mouth parts slightly, YN wasn’t expecting Harry to say a combination of words that actually sounded better than an apology. She forgives him, but she doesn’t let him know.
“Well…you can make it up to me.” YN threads her arm through Harry’s. At first he doesn’t quite know what to do—despite their budding friendship YN rarely showed any affection or even friendliness in public. This was different.
“How? That sounds a bit sinister.”
“You’re going to get drunk with me. I’ve never seen you drunk before, and I want to be able to have embarrassing pictures of you to use next time you make me upset.”
“No way!” Harry unthreads his hand, regretting the decision a little.
“So you’re just gonna go to a party and watch everyone else drink? Your mum would be disappointed!”
“Trust me my mum doesn’t want me to get drunk,” Harry corrects her. “And I don’t drink for a reason. It really doesn’t take much to get tipsy.”
“Really?” YN eyes him. “But you’re tall.”
Harry shrugs, suddenly his heart thuds in his chest as he catches sight of the smoke of the bonfire. This was real—he was actually going to a class party with YN as his company. He had no friends there. This wasn’t his scene. What was he thinking?
“Have we got to do-“
“We’re going,” YN takes his hand and drags it the rest of the way. “We’re going to uni next year and you’re not going to be a party virgin.”
“I’ve been to parties!”
“What? D&D parties?” YN snorts. “You’re going to an outdoor party with drinks and getting drunk. I want you to let loose. Show everyone Harry the nerd is kind of funny?”
“Kind of?” Harry tugs her hand back. “You snorted at my jokes a couple weeks ago.”
YN looks back at him and Harry’s breath is momentarily caught in his throat. The light of the bonfire reflects in her eyes that crinkle at the corners as she looks at him. She has an amused smile fixed on her face. She’s relaxed completely, unguarded.
He wanted more of that, he realizes.
“Oi it’s about time!” Someone notices YN and waves her down. Harry’s forced to follow. “Brought a date did you?”
“Not my date,” YN rolls her eyes.
The group, amongst whom most had been in a lot of his classes, simply stare at him expecting a name or something. Blimey, he realizes nobody recognized him. YN did a good job with her makeover.
“Good,” one particular bloke—tall with a shaggy overgrown mop of hair peels away from the group and slides his arm around YN. She distances herself in one languid move and continues on.
“Are you lot alright?” YN asks. “It’s Harry?”
“Hey Harry,” a few of them say with a removed friendliness. They still couldn’t place him. Harry would have been offended if this wasn’t the last summer he would see them all.
“Okay?” YN turns to Harry with her eyebrow raised and a joke in her eyes like they were on the ins of something together. It warms Harry’s chest with a gentle ease.
“Harry,” shaggy-hair says. “How d’you two know each other?”
“I’m gonna show Har to the drinks,” YN continues ignoring the guy. Harry’s dying to know who that is. “Anyone seen Raina?”
“She was over there a little while ago,” someone motions towards the fire.
This satisfies YN enough. She turns, “Drinks
“Yeah,” Harry feels lighter being here knowing nobody really recognized him. Like he could be anyone. Maybe he was getting a taste of what being at uni would feel like. He liked it.
He asks YN who that guy was when they get enough distance.
“Oh him? We went out a few times, hooked up at a couple parties. He seems to think that means I want him around at any given moment but he’s a bit clingy.”
A bit was an understatement but Harry stays quiet.
“He looks old.”
She laughs, “Yeah maybe cause he’s 21?”
“What’s he doing with a bunch of teens?” Harry asks, puzzled.
“Oh Har,” YN pats his shoulder and laughs. “Let’s get you a drink.”
“Just one drink,” Harry insists.
But after downing the disgustingly hoppy beer YN hands him Harry starts to feel even better being here. Nobody recognizes him, he has YN keeping him company (after she goes to Raina for a bit and comes back grumbling about her new boyfriend), and the energy at the party starts to really take off as someone turns on a playlist and people really start to mingle.
“So you excited about uni?” YN asks. They’re both sitting on a large rock. Yn has her knees tucked into her and her cheek rests on top. She seemed down after coming back from Raina.
“Yeah!” Harry says. “Finally get some bloody freedom, away from this place.”
“This place?” She slides her cheek across her knees to look at him. She looks beautiful, Harry thinks, before sliding his eyes away. It was still hard for him to maintain eye contact with her despite all the evenings they spent together.
“School. These people.”
“Hey they didn’t even recognize you today,” she chuckles. “I did a good job.”
She reached out and brushes one of his curls. Harry inadvertently leans in closer to her.
“I look the exact same,” Harry scoffs.
“No without those big ass glasses you actually look different.”
“Call me Clark Kent then.”
“Clark Kent.”
Harry looks at YN with an are-you-serious expression and she laughs.
“I didn’t actually mean to call me Clark-“
“I know,” she says softly. “I’m trying to annoy you.”
“That’s not hard to do.”
“Hey!” She punches him lightly. “That’s mean. You’re mean when you’re drinking.”
“No I’m not,” was he? He was just being himself here.
“No…you’re not,” she agrees. “But you’re honest. Anyway, you’re living on campus right? That’s lucky.”
“Why don’t you?” Harry asks.
“I can’t,” YN turns her face away again. “I’ve got to stay at home. Things are…complicated. So I’ve just got to commute.”
“Do you think we’ll hang out at uni?” Harry asks and then flushes as he realizes he said it out loud.
“Yeah? Why wouldn’t we?”
Harry shrugs. “We don’t exactly run in the same circles.”
“Look at us now,” she leans into him, nudging his shoulder, and the warmth of her pressed into him is a balm to his melancholy. “We’re not gonna have the same labels in uni. Nobody knows us. We just get to be ourselves.”
“I hope so.” Harry says. “Should I get another drink?”
“Really?” YN sits up. “You want another?”
“Yeah!” Harry suddenly feels energized. “Why fucking not?!”
“Alright!” She hops off and he follows. “You also swear a lot more when you drink. It’s funny.”
“Sorry,” Harry apologizes immediately.
“Don’t be, I like it.” She says and Harry’s heart skips a beat. He floats the rest of the way to the drinks.
He downs half of another beer before he’s recruited to do a keg stand. He’s pretty sure it’s YN’s pretty-boy that jostles him into that crowd. He’d never done one before and YN tries to pull him away but tipsy and brave he gets instructions and allows two strangers to hold him up while he drinks what feels like the equivalent to the Thames.
The boys standing around cheer him on when he stands back up with the longest time out of everyone tonight. If he was anything, Harry was a winner. And he feels powerful: he’s actually seen and celebrated tonight for doing something as stupid as a keg stand. Why didn’t he do this more in school?
“Make way for the goat!” One of the guys shouts.
“You’re all wankers!” Harry shouts. “I just owned you all!”
“Harry,” YN’s hand clasps his and while he shouts celebrations back to the guys he’s dragged away by her.
“It’s Harry right?” A girl he’s never seen before stops YN on her trek to get him far away from the drinks. “I’m Marva.”
“Marva!” Harry pulls his hand from YN and shakes Marva’s. “Nice to meet you…Mara.”
“Yeah nice to meet you,” she smiles. “You’ve got really nice eyes.”
“Thank you Mara. You have really nice teeth.”
“Fucking hell,” YN mutters then louder she says, “Sorry Marva we gotta go. Maybe you can catch up with-“
“Okay I just wanna say that was sick what you did,” Marva points to the keg.
“I’m king of the keg,” Harry says and YN mumbles something to the side but Harry’s too swept in winning, in getting attention from this beautiful girl, to hear.
“Yeah, uhm could I get your number?”
“Uh,” Harry tries to remember his number but it doesn’t come to him. He should remember his number. Why isn’t it coming to him?
“Or I could give you mine?” She says after Harry stands there silently for an uncomfortable minute.
“Yeah,” Harry hands his phone over but his mind keep trying to push through the slosh to remember his number. Soon enough he’s walking away with YN again. “Why is my number? It’s a set of numbers…”
He’s mumbling, an anxious feeling creeping up his chest as he tries to remember.
“Hey,” YN finally allows him to stop. She senses the panic rising in him and lays a hand on his chest. The buzzing stops immediately. “Harry look at me.”
Harry looks down at YN, she was one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen. He wishes he could hold her face for eternity. He would live in peace.
“Hello?” She snaps her fingers. “You’re not blinking are you alright?”
“Probably not!” Harry laughs. “I just got hit on by a gorgeous girl did you see that?”
“Yes,” she rolls her eyes. “She was impressed by your ability to drink upside down. What a catch.”
“I am a catch,” Harry motions to the water behind them. “I’m a fish in the sea.”
“Oh my god,” YN laughs. “You’re ridiculous is what you are. That’s a river I thought you were smart.”
“I’m cool now.”
She brushes his hair again, “give a nerd a new hair style,” she drags her hands over his eyes, “put him in contacts,” she continues tracing her hand down his face to his chest, “put him in new clothes-“
She cuts herself off when Harry grasps her hand against his chest. He was sure she could feel his heart racing inside.
They stare silently at each other, the darkness cushioning them on either side until it feels like they’re the only two beings in the night. Like they’re drifting in the dark, tethered only by hands and gazes.
Harry tilts forward, YN doesn’t move back. So he closes the distance and presses his lips to hers, they’re as soft as he imagined. They’re the best lips he’s ever kissed.
Maybe he imagines it, maybe it was a drunk fantasy, but for a brief second she presses her lips against his; she closes her eyes and kisses him back.
The next second, she’s shoving him backwards and scrambling away. Her look of shock and betrayal cuts right through the fog in his brain.
“What the fuck?” She shouts. “Did-did you just fucking kiss me?”
“I’m sorry!” Harry feels his heart in his throat, why did he think she would ever want to kiss him? She was YN, he was just Harry. “I don’t-I’m not I-“
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She wipes the back of her hand against her mouth, adding assault to injury. “Why would you do that?!”
“YN,” Harry stumbles forward but she peddles backward. It’s another punch added, almost deflating him entirely. “I didn’t mean—I’m drunk I’m sorry-“
“Being drunk isn’t a fucking excuse,” she spits.
“I know! I’m sorry!”
“Goddamnit! You’re just like every other asshole of a guy. I thought we were friends! But of course you get drunk and try to kiss me-“
“It’s not like that!” Harry tries to tell her. He was just braver drunk but he’s been in love with her a long time. After hanging out this whole summer he just thought they had a moment there. He read the signs wrong; apparently a bookworm could read wrong.
Maybe he would never be good at this whole people thing.
“Then what?” YN seethes. “Then why the hell—why did you try to kiss me Harry? You don’t even like me why would you kiss me?!”
“I…” he doesn’t know what to say. Of course he liked her. He more than liked her; YN changed his life and he’s starting to like who she makes him be.
But nothing will make this situation better. And the worst part is he feels her slip away, right through his fingers. It’s like one of those jelly toys from when he was a kid; the harder he gripped the easier it slipped away.
“Get fucked Harry,” YN swears. She turns and leaves. She leaves him and he doesn’t think she’ll ever come back.
When the rush of adrenaline subsides Harry empties the contents of his stomach. With his head swimming he picks himself up and finds his way out. With a final glance at the party he’d just felt king of, he spots YN tucked into the body of shaggy-hair and his stomach turns. Why did he ever think she’d want him? Girls like her didn’t end up with guys like him. Why did he ever come to this stupid party in the first place and get drunk? This wasn’t him. Uni or not, maybe he was never meant to change all that much.
***
Harry looks around his half of the dorm he’s just finished putting together with a proud smile. At last the day had come, he had successfully escaped the shackles of school and all its taunting and made it to the uni of his choice. Despite only being a 1.5 hour train ride from home Harry chose to get the full uni experience and live on campus. His life was going to change, he could feel it.
That is, until his roommate walked in.
Messy hair, backwards baseball cap, crewneck and baggy jeans and massive headphones on. Harry already types him in his mind—how the hell did the dorm board pair the two of them together?
“Aw marra,” he holds his hand out sideways and Harry clasps his hand and lets his body gets tugged into his roommate’s bony shoulder. “Harry right?”
“Yeah,” Harry tries to find his balance again. “Roderick?”
“Just Rod yeah,” Roderick throw his duffel bag onto the bed and points behind him. “Give me a hand with the other bags?”
Harry wasn’t much for lifting heavy things but he didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot with someone he’d be living with the next year. So he goes.
“When did you get here?” He asks.
“Last night,” Harry wanted to get in before everyone else and avoid the crowds of people. He knew it would be a good way to meet others and make friends—his sister told him the first week was when you made most of them, but he did what we wanted.
Rod barely hears him as they get the last of his bags. “It was packed to shite trying to get in here. Where’d you come in from?”
“London,” Harry answers.
“And you’re staying here? On campus?”
“Yeah, I didn’t want to do the commute everyday. Felt like a waste of time.”
“Yeah that’d be crazy.” His roommate agrees.
“What about you?” Harry remembers to ask.
“Sunlun,” he replies. Harry hadn’t heard of it, and reminds himself to look it up later. “I was right ready to lose it driving here. My mam drove me-“
“Oh is she around?” Harry asks.
“No,” Rod laughs. “I’m not starting school trailing after her. But I promised her I’d have a meal with her after moving my—hey you should come!”
Harry has a hard time keeping up with Roderick, despite having longer legs than him he walks as fast as he talks and he talks with an accent that takes a minute to filter through for understanding.
“I couldn’t-“
“No you’re coming,” Rod claps Harry on the back. “She would love seeing that my roommate’s someone like you.”
Someone like you, what did that mean? But on some level Harry knows just by comparing Roderick’s outfit and Harry’s slacks and spotless crewneck.
Harry has no choice but he gets a free meal out of it. Roderick’s mum is sweet and by the end of the meal he understands his roommate a lot better, knows everything about where he’s from—Sunderland, and is invited to “drop by for tea” anytime he’s up north.
Roderick invites Harry to a get-together for first years happening somewhere off campus but Harry feels sensed out and tells him he was calling it a night. Rod looks disappointed but leaves without him. Harry almost feels disappointed in himself. He was supposed to have a different life being in uni, but he didn’t want to make old mistakes and try to be someone he wasn’t.
***
Freshers week is both invigorating and exhausting for Harry as he tries to navigate all of the personalities and social groups without falling back into his usual ways. He attends the talks and the tours, one in which he meets Mikey who was also planning on joining debate club. Harry goes to mixers and breaks so much ice he’s sure he could get a part time job as an ice sculptor.
Harry also attends the workshops and he meets a few more friends there, but mostly when he signs up for clubs he’s interested and goes to their mixers he finds people he clicks with very easily. He doesn’t spot Rod once or anyone else he would have known from school.
On Thursday Harry heads to Newsroom Society Club which was a fancy title for the uni’s reporting club. He has a few new friends he’s made, Florence from one of the workshops and Gabriel who lived in the same hall as Harry as well as Mikey. They were all interested in being part of reporting—the newspaper or the podcast.
Harry stumbles into a projector when he spots her.
“You alright?” Gabriel grabs Harry’s jacket to hold him steady. All eyes are on him as the slideshow on the wall tips off balance and he’s bright as a tomato.
“Yeah I didn’t see that there,” Harry lies.
“Kinda hard to miss,” YN pipes in from where she stands.
Looking at her reminds Harry of the summer. It felt like a dream looking back on it, how they became friends and then quickly drifted off after he stupidly misread her cues and tried to kiss her. Although it was one of the few times he had gotten drunk and he was out of his depth when it happened. But YN had avoided him after that. He knew they were going to the same school but he didn’t think he’d see her this early on.
Harry’s new friends eye YN, assuming she was being rude just because. But when Harry acknowledges her they settles down.
“YN. Hi.” Harry waves awkwardly.
“Harry,” she says coolly.
“You’re here for the paper?”
“The show actually,” YN nods. The girl she’s talking to touches her arm and motions she was heading elsewhere.
“Oh me too,” Florence pipes in. “I’m Florence by the way.”
“I’m Mikey,” his other friend says as if Flo opened a gateway to YN. “I’m also interested in it. Not sure if I’m staying though.”
YN eyes his friends and returns her gaze to Harry. “Neat. I’m YN.”
“You two know each other?” Mikey asks.
“Yeah,” Harry says as YN says “Unfortunately.”
There’s an awkward beat as the group tries to figure out if she’s joking it not. When her lips curl into a small smile and they take the cue to laugh. It amazed Harry how well YN could command a group. Even now.
“Are you going for any other clubs?” Flo continues asking YN.
“I was thinking tennis, I used to play.” YN says and Harry’s surprised to hear that. He’s reminded he didn’t know her much—he never really got to know her that well despite all the time together. She was a closed book on a lot of things. “How about you?”
“Yeah I’m thinking of joining the volunteer committee!”
“Yeah what do they do?” YN asks. “Obviously volunteering but like-“
She doesn’t need to correct herself any further as Flo launched into a onboarding speech about volunteer committee. And Harry’s mesmerized by YN as she listens to Flo attentively, it’s different to the way she interacted with him or Mikey or a lot of people. When she feels him staring her eyes flick up to meet his and then back to Flo. She does it again and he takes the hint, looking away.
He flushes remembering the summer, how things started so well and ended so terribly.
YN ends up sticking to their group as the club organizers gather everyone to do a small introduction of the Newsroom Society. When it ends and they’re left to mingle Harry’s friends ask him what they were going to do for lunch.
“I’m easy, we can go anywhere.”
“I wanted to catch the fencing match they have going on at 2,” Gabriel says. “I might stay behind-“
“Let’s just do the caf.” Harry decides.
Florence turns back to YN who’s with her friend again. “Hey we were gonna grab lunch in the caf would you want to join? Both of you?”
YN meets Harry’s eye and an awkward energy sizzles between the two. It happens so quickly.
“Soph?” YN asks her friend.
“Eh,” she shrugs. “Okay. I’m Sophie by the way…”
Introductions are made all over again and YN and Harry are left herding the crowd from behind at the end if it.
“Hi,” Harry says as they fall into step.
She eyes him first before responding, “Hi.”
Silence as the group ahead chatters away.
“How’ve you been?” Harry attempts small talk.
“Fine.” She replies without returning the question. Harry gets the hint and grits his teeth. It was frustrating knowing she had glued herself shut and it would require a tool he didn’t have to get her to open again.
At lunch she continues to gloss over anything he says and talking with everyone enthusiastically but him, making him feel like he was in secondary all over again.
“We should do this again,” Florence suggests. “You guys are fun.”
Harry thinks Flo just liked having girls to talk to since most of the friends she’d made so far had been Harry and his.
“Yeah,” Soph agrees. “Maybe we’ll all make the Newsroom Society. Flo I think I’ll come to the volunteer thing with you next week just text me when it is.”
Somehow Harry’s friends intermingle with YN’s and by the time classes actually starts he’s seen YN socially more often than he had in secondary.
“YN,” Harry catches her walking out of their international business course. He’d found they had two classes together despite deciding different majors.
She glances up at her name and upon seeing Harry continues walking.
“Hey YN,” he walks ahead enough to stop her.
“Hey. What?” She asks.
“Can we talk?”
She raises a brow.
“C’mon,” Harry turns and hopes she’ll follow. She does. He leads them to a seating area for students in the building’s courtyard. “We should talk.”
“About?”
“Us.” Harry fidgets. “Look, I know what I did last summer wasn’t right. And being drunk wasn’t an excuse. I…I misread the signs and I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to betray your trust like that and. Yeah. I’m really sorry. If we’re gonna hang out and be mates, it’s weird when you’re always mad at me.”
She stares at him for an uncomfortable period and Harry can’t hold eye contact the whole time.
“How many times did you practice saying that?” She asks with a straight expression.
He laughs, “A few times.”
Like the sun after a thunderstorm, her smile slowly brightens the rest of her face as it stretches over her face.
“For the record, don’t ever try to kiss me ever again.” YN lists on her fingers. “Secondly, there will never be signs between us as anything more than friends so just…don’t look for them. We’re just friends.”
“Got it,” Harry mock salutes.
“I’m not done,” she holds up three fingers. “Thirdly, it’s nice seeing you be less…secondary Harry.”
“What?”
“Y’know like, bookish awkward nerdy Harry. You’ve actually got friends, I saw you at a couple parties. It’s nice!”
“Oh,” Harry didn’t think YN thought about him at all. He thought he went back to being a nobody but she was still noticing things about him. Things he thought only he had picked up on.
She was right—he felt more himself the longer he was at uni. It wasn’t easy but he found it easier to make decisions about people and friends, emotions and conversations when the pressure to fit into a box fell away.
Of course, Harry still struggled connecting with his roommate. After declining his initial invite to a party Rod mostly kept to himself and sometimes Harry was asked to give him privacy a few hours some evenings. Harry usually obliged, wanting to still be friends with Roderick.
One of the parties YN saw him at must have been one Rod invited him to. It was the first time he’d really spoken to him since that first day. And Harry had gone to the party just to reduce the friction with Rod. It went over well, he’d even chatted up a girl.
“Anyway,” YN hitches her bag onto her shoulder. “My next class is much later in the day so I’m gonna find a place to crash until then.”
“When is it?”
“Like, 5?”
“Shit, you commuted for our 10 and have to stay that late?”
“Yeah,” she sighs. “It was the only way I could fit both classes into this semester.”
“D’you…” Harry reconsiders the rules she’d given him. He didn’t think this was breaking any. “D’you want to come go my dorm? You could…nap or something.”
Her face lights up, “Wait really?”
“Yeah?”
“Um yeah? If that’s alright if-“
“Yeah,” Harry’s pleased to be able to offer something that’s made her light up. “Yeah c’mon. My roommate should be out. My next class is at half past 1 though.”
“That’s enough time for a nap,” YN says as she falls into step beside him.
“You don’t have to leave.” Harry tells her. “You can stay while I’m in class.”
That’s how Harry finds himself walking out of his dorm quietly so as not to wake a sleeping YN. She had knocked out soon after getting into his sheets, and he’s thankful he’d just washed them over the weekend after accidentally spilling tea all over them.
He felt bad that she had to commute for nearly 2 hours and stay the whole day for an evening class. He gives her an open invitation to use his dorm as a hotel when she wanted. She’d corrected him it was more like a motel, and then said his bedsheets smelled surprisingly nice for a motel.
Harry has a smile for most of his walk to class.
Near the end of class his phone vibrates with a text.
Roderick: there’s a girl sleeping on your bed?
Shit, Harry didn’t think he’d be back before him.
Harry: that’s just YN, sorry hope you don’t mind.
R: nah I just wasn’t expecting it lol
H: she’s just crashing
R: she single?
H: what happened to the girl you were hooking up with last week?
Despite not talking a lot, Harry still had the lowdown on who Rod was hooking up with because of the revolving door of girls.
R: mate. That was last week.
Harry rushes back from class but to his surprise he finds YN sitting in bed braiding her hair while Rod leans against his desk explaining something about Sunderland.
“Oh hey Harry,” YN says when he walks in.
“Hey,” Harry tries not to sound too out of breath. “Uh I see you two’ve met.”
“Yeah. YN’s pretty cool, where’ve you been hiding her?”
“I’m not-“
“Ew,” YN cuts him off. “Do they not teach manners in Sunderland?”
Harry watches, for the first time since he’s met him, Roderick stammer and look uncertain.
“Anyway,” YN gets off the bed and adjusts her clothes. “Thanks for letting me crash.”
Harry watched Rod get a hold of himself and YN put her bag back together again. That was the privilege of being so beautiful, she could shame guys like Rod into behaving themselves.
“See you Friday?” YN tells Harry. They had a Newsroom Society meeting. Harry ended up making the cut for the paper along with Gabriel and Flo. YN had made it for the podcast and this week was when they first got assignments.
“Yeah,” Harry says. YN walks past him, squeezing him arm and walking out.
“Marra,” Rod blow the air out of his cheeks. “She’s….something. You should invite her to the party Friday if she’s on campus.”
“Yeah I’ll ask,” Harry says. Weird how the tables have turned, he thinks. Here he would be, inviting YN to a party.
***
Harry doesn’t get a chance to catch up with YN until after Newsroom. He asks her if she was doing anything afterwards.
“Nope,” she rubs her temple. “I have a Saturday shift to work so I was just gonna head home after this.”
“Oh.” Harry says. He forgot she worked. “I was gonna invite you to this party-“
“You?” She points to him and laugh. “You’re inviting me?”
“Erm yeah?”
“I love it.” She says seriously.
“Yeah,” a smile tugs at his lips. “I know. But if you’re busy-“
“Oh no. I’ll show up to a party you’re inviting me to, where is it?”
Harry gives her the place. She tells him one of her friends was trying to get here there too.
“Whatever, I’ll just suffer the consequences tomorrow. Although I’m not dressed for a party at all.”
Harry eyes her hoodie and jeans. Even he knew YN dressed up more for parties.
“Too bad you’re not a girl,” she sighs. “I could just borrow something from your closet.”
“How about the friend you mentioned?”
“She lives a town over so she commutes. Wait, let me see your closet maybe we can make something work.”
“Don’t you make fun of my closet?”
“No I make fun when you wear it. It might look hot on me.”
The idea of YN looking hot in his clothes forces the blood to rush to his head and he has to take a few deep breaths before trailing behind.
Rod’s nowhere in sight when they get to his dorm. Harry unloads his backpack and splays out on his bed, tired from the day and really not wanting to go to any parties.
“This could be cute,” YN unhooks a plain white tee from his closet and throws it on his bed. She picks up a sweater and a short-sleeved button up. She holds them up to her and instructs him to turn around while she tries it on.
Harry’s so tired that turned around he ends up falling asleep, half his body still dangling off the bed.
While uni was really fun for him, and getting to explore different sides of him and learn a whole lot, it was a constant rotation of something. Sometimes he wondered if he should drop a class or a club just to give himself some breathing room. Or sleeping room. But Harry wasn’t a quitter. Instead he was tired a lot of the time and felt like he was constantly catching up.
“Hello,” Harry’s woken by a vigorous shaking. YN peers down at him, lashes long and coated in mascara probably. Her lips are painted a deep pink and she’s put her hair down.
“How did you…” Harry blinks at her.
“I had some makeup in my bag, I just touched it up while you slept.” She sits down beside him. “Now what are you wearing and when are we leaving?”
“I’m just wearing this,” Harry motions to his jeans and hoodie. She raises a brow. “Wait what are you-“
He notices what she’s wearing. His white tee that hangs loose on him has been tightened into a single point on YN’s ribcage, baring her midriff. She’s kept her jeans on but somehow despite only swapping out one item of clothing she looks magnetic.
“Wow.”
“I know right,” she gets up to allow him the full picture even though he didn’t want to ogle any more. “I just went with one of your tees, used a hair tie to style it. I’ll wear my bomber on top. And you can change your hoodie at least. You’ll look like a slob in that, it’s not going to impress any girls.”
“What if I don’t want to impress any girls?”
“Don’t forget I caught you flirting with Sophie last week.” She warns him.
It was embarrassing, Soph had been talking through one of the articles they were assigned to think about for Newsroom and it had turned flirty when Sophie started teasing him. Harry had recently felt more confident in the girl department and he’d flirted back until YN had dropped into the conversation pretending to gag at Harry.
Harry wondered if Sophie would be at the party. He should have texted her to ask.
“Let’s not talk about that.”
“I would actually love to talk about that,” she grins. “But I do want to head out. So wear this and let’s go.”
She throws Harry a crewneck and taps her foot. When she doesn’t make a move to look away he changes in front of her and doesn’t meet her eye.
“You’ve got a tattoo?” YN sounds surprised as he gets his arms into the crewneck.
“Huh?” Harry realizes she’s staring at his ribcage. He forgot he had a tattoo, not often looking at himself naked in the mirror. “Oh yeah. Caleb and I got it for our 18th before we went to uni. He’s moved to Canada for uni so-“
“You’re full of surprises aren’t you.” YN says in a quieter voice than usual. Harry’s hands are still trapped in his sweater, halfway to his head, when she steps closer and traces her hand over the numbers. Her hands are cold and unexpected and he gasps.
“Sorry,” she looks up at him but he can barely look at her. She was touching his bare torso. “Was that cold?”
“Yeah,” Harry clears his throat.
“Any others?” She asks.
He shakes his head, his voice sticking in his throat. He couldn’t move, he was too busy concentrating on breathing.
He slowly pulls his jumper on the rest of the way and only when they head out does he feel safe enough to talk. He tells YN how he planned on getting more tattoos eventually, once he figured out what he liked. It was a bit scary being so permanent but he liked the way he could express himself or hold memories on his skin.
They talk about it until they reach the dorms the party was at.
“Catch you inside,” YN says as they enter. “Don’t get too drunk.”
“Never again” Harry shouts after her. She waves without turning around.
He thought they would hang out here together but he finds himself wandering the dorms until he spots Mikey. He becomes absorbed in Mikey’s group of friends and forgets he’d been here with YN.
At some point Harry finds himself the centre of attention of a girl from his intro to biology class. Mary. She’s cute with a shoulder-length brown hair and animated eyes. When she smiles at Harry he feels his heart flutter.
“What about weirdest?” She asks Harry. They were talking about their shared interest in cults.
“Raelian,” Harry responds. “Have you heard of them?”
“Ooh no tell me about it,” she shuffles closer to him in the stranger’s room they were talking in. Harry had been nursing his drink for the last couple hours and he’d nearly made it look like it was done.
His phone vibrates in his pocket and he ignores it. When it goes off again Mary raises her brow.
“D’you need to get that?”
“I dunno,” Harry pulls out YN flipping him off on screen. He still hadn’t changed her photo.
“Harry!” He hears his name shouted from the hall just as the call ends.
“Is somebody actually calling you?” Mary furrows her brows.
“I don’t-“ his name is shouted again but louder.
The two of them shuffle to the hall and YN’s unmistakable face comes into view.
“Harry!” She says in a loud and happy tone. “I found you!”
“YN,” Harry glances at Mary nervously. She seems concerned. “What happened?”
“What didn’t happen amirite?” She elbows him. “Anyway. I don’t feel well and I am going home.”
“Drunk?” Harry scratches his head. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. You’ve got like nearly 2 hours on the train.”
“And?” She shrugs. “I’ll sleep it off.”
“You can’t do that.” Harry insists.
“Well good thing you’re,” she points her finger into his chest and tilts forward. “Not the boss of me. Oh hey. We haven’t met!”
She spots Mary beside him and she bows to her.
“Heh. Harry. And Mary.” YN points between them.
“D’you need help?” Mary asks. “With her?”
“I don’t need help!” YN shouts. “I’m cool. I’m fun. I’m totally alright.”
“You’re really not,” Harry grits his teeth. He was finally hitting it off with Mary and of course YN had to go and get drunk and ruin it.
Technically he did invite her to the party though. Did that make her his responsibility? Harry wasn’t too sure about that sort of thing.
“I did an amazing job at Ring of Fire,” YN slurs. “Phe-nnnnn-omm-enal.”
“I am going to get her out of here,” Harry tells Mary. He twists his mouth to the side and hopes he looks as sorry as he felt. “I invited her so…”
“That’s alright! That’s what friends are for right?” She smiles. “I’ll see you in class?”
“Yeah!” Harry nods. “I’ll see you.”
With a final exchange of smiles Harry grabs YN by the shoulders and gets her out of the building. The whole time she talks about random things from the night that Harry couldn’t care less about.
“YN why did you get so bloody drunk,” Harry says outside his building. It was a co-ed so it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for both of them to go in but Harry wanted to sneak her into his room.
“I didn’t mean to,” she says. “I wasn’t even gonna stay this long.”
Her voice pitches down and she becomes droopier in Harry’s arms. His arms hurt; he should use the gym on campus more often.
“What happened?” Harry continues to entertain her.
She doesn’t say until they reach his room. He prays Rod would still be at the party and breathes a sigh of relief when the other side of the room is empty.
“Sit here,” Harry places YN on his bed and finds a water bottle for her. “Drink.”
“I can’t, I need to piss.”
Harry groans. “Why didn’t you say earlier?”
“I forgot,” she whispers. “Sorry.”
He points the toilets out to her and leaves the door open a crack so she can find her way back. Her mascara’s running when she gets back.
“Were you crying?” He asks.
“No! I tried to take this stupid stuff off.” She sighs. “It really is waterproof.”
Harry shakes his head, YN was a right state and he didn’t really know what to do. She’s always the one in control and in command. He remembers his sister using makeup wipes but he didn’t have any. He improvises with kleenex but she complains that it hurt. He tries dousing one in water but the makeup barely budges.
“Just let me sleep in it,” she complains.
“And get it all over my bedsheets?” Harry shakes his head. “No way.”
“Oils,” YN leans back in his bed anyway. “If you’ve got oil. Or balms. Whatever.”
Harry rummages through the room and manages to find a hair product his sister bought him with oils. He puts some on the kleenex but YN is snoring in bed by the time he gets up to her.
“C’mon,” he taps her face. “Did you seriously fall asleep already?”
“No,” YN cracks an eye open. “I’m up.”
“Good. Here use this.” He offers her the wipe but she whines until Harry gives in and helps her wipe it off. It makes his heart race and he tries not to breathe her in too much. Despite smelling like a brewery, underneath that she smells like YN. The one he knew last summer.
“You can’t sleep in my bed with this on.” Harry complains. Who knows where those jeans have been.
“M’not sleeping in my underwear,” she mumbles. “You wish.”
“Trust me I don’t,” Harry didn’t even sleep in his underwear. “I’ll give you some sweatpants. Please change into them.”
“You’re the worst,” she whines. But does as he says, moving like a sloth. She peels off his tshirt and slides into his sheets and Harry avoids looking at her in her sports bra. At least it wasn’t a lacy one.
She was just a friend. They had both made an agreement. Friends slept in the same bed. He’d probably shared a bed with Caleb before—this was fine.
Harry creeps under his sheets and tries to keep space between YN and himself but she tucks herself into his side and is out like a light.
***
Harry wakes to a shock of cold on his thigh. His eyes rip open and he yanks himself away from the freeze.
It takes him a moment to register YN giggling beside him.
“What the fuck!” Harry groans and turns on his back. At some point he’d turned towards YN and they’d probably slept facing each other. It was better than any other alternative he figured.
“Sorry,” she says without sounding a single bit sorry. “I just had to do it.”
“I literally let you crash in the same tiny bed as me and you repay me like that!?” Harry says to the ceiling. Sleep still tries to pull him back in but he fights it—with YN up he probably wasn’t going to get any more sleep.
“Okay no I shouldn’t have done that sorry.” She apologizes. “You wouldn’t happen to have like paracetamol or-“
“It’s in the desk drawer—what are you—ow!”
YN had started climbing over him as he answered and nearly kneed him between the legs.
“Sorry!” She whispers. Harry glances at his roommate to find him sleeping in his bed. He hoped Rod was too drunk to notice YN in his bed when he came in.
Harry decides to just get up then and eventually he walks YN to the bus terminal both of them full on caf coffee and breakfast. She was going to cut it close for her shift but she didn’t seem to care.
“Thanks for taking care of me last night,” YN says as the bus comes into view. She doesn’t look him in the eye as she says it and he can barely look at her saying it. “You didn’t have to and you did.”
“It’s nothing,” Harry says, equally uncomfortable with YN’s vulnerability.
“I saw an ex,” she meets his gaze. “I didn’t think I’d run into him after all this time. That’s kinda why I drank more than I intended. I wasn’t supposed to inconvenience you—hey, weren’t you talking to some girl last-“
“Yeah,” Harry hoped Mary wasn’t too weirded out by YN. “It’s fine. I’ve got class with her.”
“Oh I’m sorry,” she slaps her hand to her forehead. “I hope I didn’t make things weird. I owe you.”
“It’s alright,” Harry finally meets her eye and realizes it was alright. He could be friends with YN and maybe this could work. “It’s what friends do.”
“Really?” She asks.
He nods. “I’ll help you home from any party.”
“Awww,” she wrings her arms around Harry’s neck and he takes a step back to steady her. He forces his brain to think only friendly thoughts, and not how steady his hand feels on her lower back or how nice her hair smells, as he returns the hug. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said.”
She leans back and pats his face. “You’re growing up so much. Look at how much nicer you are.”
Harry blushes and she laughs at him as she runs to catch the bus. He watches the bus wink out of sight and sighs.
It was in part thanks to YN he’s grown so much, she forced him out of his shell and pointed out all the ways his intellect can get in the way of being a nice person. And being out of school helped the rest of the way; Harry’s contemplative on his walk back home.
***
“What about orange juice and biscuits?” Mary asks.
Harry thinks about it before shaking his head, “No. it doesn’t make sense.”
The two were having dinner together in the caf. Ever since the party last month they’ve spent more time together in between classes. They weren’t dating but there was a heavy chemistry between them. Harry didn’t realize, Mary was just waiting for them to make the first move.
“Crisps and jam?”
“Why?” Harry scrunches his face imagining the weird food combination. Mary was reading off an article she was reading when he sat down at her table.
She shrugs, “Apparently it’s moreish.”
Harry liked Mary a lot but he sometimes felt he paled next to her, like if he asked her out and she really got to know him she might not like him as much. So he kept her at arm’s length.
“What’s more-ish is the bile coming up my throat thinking of that.”
“A lot of these are pregnancy cravings!” Mary says. “What do we know?”
“Who’s pregnant?” Flo asks as she sits beside Mary. Mikey joins the table too.
“Nobody’s pregnant,” Harry corrects. “We’re just reading an article.”
“No actually, the computer science prof that everyone hates is pregnant. She’s not teaching next semester anyone who’s interested should take it then.” Flo informs the group.
“Can you imagine?” Mary turns to her. “Being so hated that the one semester you’re not teaching there’s a massive waiting list on your course?”
The group begins to discuss this particular prof and Harry fades into a listener. Mary catches his eye a few times and sends a bright smile his way and Harry keeps it tucked within.
Now a couple months into uni Harry was starting to find a rhythm that he was able to ride. He had more friends than he’s ever had, regularly went to parties and hung out with them, Rod and him were good friends by some way of YN, and uni challenged Harry’s brain in a good way.
Him and YN didn’t hang out very much but he often saw her at parties, in the Newsroom, or if he came back to his dorm while she napped. If had become part of their regular schedule for her to use his dorm to nap and Harry was more than happy to let her. Rod was too—even happier than Harry sometimes.
“Are you going to the Halloween thing Harry?” Mikey asks.
“Huh?” Harry had zoned out. “Uh I think so. Yeah. Why not?”
“Awesome,” Flo says. “We should go together.”
“We’re not doing matching costumed Flo,” Harry says for the tenth time this month.
“Why not?!” She cries. The table becomes noisy again as they argue the same thing they’ve argued since October started. Harry feels at home.
***
Just finished my mid-term, Harry texts Mary. We should celebrate with drinks later.
Yeah after I finish mine later today, would love to. Mary texts back.
Harry smiles at his phone and switches chat to YN.
Are you still at mine?
She doesn’t reply and Harry figures she’s either sleeping or maybe writing a mid-term. He knew she had one later this afternoon—the same class as Mary.
Uni turned out to be a small world, he’d found a few people he already knew in these halls and somehow new friends and old acquaintances had all mingled together.
The good thing was now that he regularly wore contacts and started putting in some effort in how he looked, a lot of his old classmates either walked past him with no recognition or spoke to him like they weren’t the reason he had one friend in secondary.
It still took some adjusting to: here he was, bottom-rung at his old school, asking someone at the top rung if she was still sleeping in his bed. It was mad.
Harry turns the key of his door and freezes at what’s before him.
His roommate Roderick sits on his bed with his back to the wall and someone looking very much like—no it was YN because her jacket lay on his bed, straddling his lap. YN and his roommate were making out.
“What is this?” Harry asks when his senses return. “What’s going on?”
“Oh hey Har,” Rod looks past YN. He was so casual, Harry felt a little crazy at thinking this was a big deal.
“Oh,” YN turns and unhooks her legs from around Rod. “You’re done your exam. How was it?”
Were they insane it was he just a prude? Harry’s roommate was making out with his friend. That regularly crashed in his room. Has this been going on for a while?
“Good. Fine. YN can we talk?” Harry asks.
“Sure,” YN climbs off the bed and fixes her lipstick whilst passing the mirror. Harry nods to the hall and she steps out. “What’s up?”
“What…what’s going on there?”
“What? Rod?”
“Obviously!”
“Oh my god Har, it’s nothing serious we were just making out.”
“For how long?”
“I dunno? Why do you want to know?”
“No like how long have you two been hooking up?”
“We were just making out today why’ve you got your panties in a twist?”
“So this is the first time?”
“No…we made out at a party last week. Anyway I was just studying on your bed after getting a nap in and he walked in. It got flirty, one thing led to another-“
“I’m not comfortable with this.” Harry clenched his teeth. He didn’t know why but it felt wrong they were doing this in his room. After he’d opened it up for her to give her a break from the constant commuting. What if things go sour between them and Rod takes it out on him? What if she ruins the vibe of their dorm?
“Harry,” YN lays a hand on his shoulder with a serious face. “You know I’ve kissed boys before. Done even more than-“
“This isn’t a joke,” Harry brushes her hand off. “I don’t feel comfortable with you doing…that in the room.”
“So now you’re deciding who I can see-“
“No!” Harry shouts a bit too loud and someone on the other end of the hall looks up. “No. You know that’s not what I’m saying. I don’t care who you hook up with YN. Just not in my room with my roommate. Do whatever you want with him at parties but not in my room. I don’t care what you do. Just…not in my room.”
Harry shuts up once he realizes he’s repeating himself. He hopes she understands.
“Fine.” She does her classic move. She shuts down. “I’ll be a devout virgin in your room. Outside I’ll be the wild child I am.”
“YN don’t twist this,” Harry sighs. “Why do you do that?”
“I’ve got an exam in a couple hours.” She opens the door. “I should go.”
“Already?” Rod says as they walk in.
“Harry’s made a request about us,” YN shoots him a look and Harry wants to take that look and throw it back at her. He was going to break it to Rod differently knowing how tenuous the balance of their friendship was. But now she’s just dropped it like a bomb in the middle of their dorm.
“What?” Rod looks at Harry.
Harry flushes but he tries to look at Rod when he tells him, “I think it’s weird you two making out here. You can do that anywhere just not here. My roommate and my friend…it’s weird.”
Rod blinks, Harry thinks he’s zoned out until he shrugs. “Nee bother. I respect it Harry. I’ll catch you out there then YN.”
YN looks between the boys, her hands holding her bag are curled into fists and with one last angry look to Harry she exits the room.
“Doesn’t look like she’s too chuffed with you man.” Rod pipes in from behind.
She wasn’t chuffed with him half the time, Harry was now used to it.
***
The Halloween party is packed like sardines and Harry considers leaving. Mary had come down with a flu and she’d also been avoiding him the last week. Gabe said she’s probably tired of him not doing anything about their mutual crush, Flo thinks she needs space, and YN says she found someone new to fantasize about but Harry thinks the last one is mostly to get under his skin.
Ever since that day in his dorm YN’s gone back to being bristly with Harry. It doesn’t bother him most days but it does frustrate him on a few.
“Harry!” A familiar face waves him down. The party was in off-campus student res and it was decorated like somebody had gone batshit on Amazon. Just walking toward Sophie, Harry had gotten a faceful of smoke, fake cobwebs, and bubbles for some reason.
“Soph! How’s it going?” Harry hadn’t seen Sophie since she quit Newsroom a few weeks ago. With midterms and club deadlines clashing she decided she couldn’t do both and left the club.
“So much better,” her brightened eyes and large smile fixed on her face clued Harry in that she’d already started drinking. “But I miss the Newsroom crew. How is everyone?”
“We’re fine—you know you could still hang out with us? We’re around.”
“Ugh I know,” she sways towards him. “But I feel like I hardly have time to be social. Social. Does that sound weird—so-shul?”
“I think you’re a bit drunk Soph,” Harry points to her cup.
“Oh yeah,” she laughs. “What about you? You don’t even have a drink!”
“I…I was gonna go get one.” Harry lies. He was actually gonna go home.
“Okay! Someone had shots going.”
She grabs his hand and it tingles. She races around until she finds the half-empty vodka and demands Harry do shots with her. He nearly chokes on it and coughs uncontrollably which sets Soph off.
“Are you alright?” She slaps his back harder than she looks like she could. “You need a chaser hold up!”
She disappears behind the table and pulls out lime wedges from god knows where. She instructs Harry how to do it even though he didn’t want any more but she doesn’t relent.
The second time is a lot smoother but Harry realizes he really did not like vodka either.
“Soph! Har! You two know each other?!” Roderick suddenly walks in on them, crashing the two with an arm around both. “Small worlds!”
“Hey Rod,” Soph’s glow dims a little.
“Now what kind of hello is that? And what are you supposed to be?”
“Scream queen right?” Harry asks as Soph says “Scream Queen duh?”
Rod frowns and takes his arms down. “Well I can make you scream, qu-“
“Alright,” Harry and Soph eye each other. Harry has been to enough parties with Rod to know what level of drunk meant what level of no filter. And it was best they left him alone now. “We’ll see you around mate.”
“Thank you,” Soph whispers in his ear as she loops her arm and they walk away.
“What’s going on with you two?” Harry asks. He’s learned enough to know Sophie soured at the sight of him.
“Really?” She asks.
“Really—what?”
“Him and YN were hooking up a few weeks ago. He was just…ekgh.”
“That’s not a word,” Harry laughs.
“I know!” She throws her hands up, one of which holds a knife.
“Alright,” Harry holds his up. “It’s a word.”
She throws her head back and laughs, then wields the knife against his throat.
“Woah, Soph.”
“It’s fake!” She laughs again.
“Yeah thank god,” Harry lowers it and she tumbles into him with the pressure she had put on it.
“Oops,” she smiles up at him. “Hey how d’you know Scream Queens?”
Blood rushes to Harry’s head as she looks up at him through her lashes. Soph was beautiful��she always had been. But tonight she looks particularly beautiful. It could be the vodka. But he wanted to kiss her.
“I watched it over the summer with…” Harry had watched it with YN. This was YN’s friend. Maybe he shouldn’t kiss her.
“Hm?” She inches her arm up and loops it around his neck. Her head tilts to one side and Harry feels the vodka flood his brain while his blood rushes another direction. “You’ve got really nice eyes.”
“So do you.” Harry barely gets out.
“Our babies would have amazing eyes.” She says with complete seriousness. Obviously she was drunk.
“Yeah. Uhm,” Harry tries to push her away. He does, or he tells himself that. But when she stands on the balls of her feet Harry felt it was rude to not meet her halfway. Not press his lips against her strawberry-flavoured plush ones. It felt amazing.
“D’you wanna go somewhere?” She whispers in his ear.
Harry doesn’t want to. He just wants her to shut up so they can keep kissing.
He leads her gently to the wall and continues kissing her, displaying what he’s learned in his two months at uni. And the noises she makes does unspeakable things to Harry.
“C’mon!” She urges to him. “Surely one of the bedrooms are free!”
At the thought his mind clears for a single moment. Should he be doing this? Was his first time really going to be at a Halloween party with Soph?
“I don’t have any-“
“That’s alright!” She tugs him back to her. “Let’s just see where the night takes us.”
“You’ve got to lose the knife though,” Harry says against her lips.
She laughs and tucks it into his back pocket. “Okay?”
Her laugh scatters away the remaining rational thought and he follows her wherever she takes him.
***
“Alright team,” the head of Newspaper stands addressing the crowd. “This has been an incredible year of reporting. I think we’ve done a fantastic job and I want to commend you all on your efforts and time lent to our humble club. Our final edition is going to print today, and the year’s final episode releases this Friday. So do give it a listen. Next year we’ll be back invigorated with more stories to tell. Have a great holiday all!”
Harry’s eyes roam the room, feeling content at being part of this hard-working group.
Despite only a semester on the Newspaper Harry felt really bonded with everyone. The team was big, split into print and podcast and yet despite not knowing everyone, the passion for stories and reporting was palpable. Especially release weeks.
Over the semester Harry had gotten even closer to Florence and Gabriel, it made Newsroom feel even more collaborative. And they often grabbed a bite after Newsroom or they would sometimes go to Gabriel’s and play video games. YN would join occasionally.
YN, only being a first year, was often frustrated being sidelined by seniors. Her friends often heard about it after particular Newsroom meetings. Still, YN on the podcast team made waves and Harry knew because her name was often on a lot of projects or on the lips of a lot of seniors. It made him proud to be her friend, often it reminded him of how he used to think about her. But Newsroom was a perfect example of how they both had separate strengths and how they flourished in each of them. He’s glad he realized that last year.
Harry’s eyes continue to dart to the door, checking his phone. It was weird y/n didn’t show up today when she should have. Especially the final meeting.
When the group goes for dinner in the caf Harry spots their friend Sophie.
What started as hooking up at Halloween ended in a few other hook-ups over the last month or so. Each time Harry felt incredibly guilty but Soph was really nice to him and nice to kiss too. Plus, Mary had stopped hanging out with him without another word and he wasn’t exactly sure what he did for that. So he’d given her space.
“Y/n wasn’t at today’s meeting, shame.” Flo says to Soph. “D’you know where she is?l
“No, that’s strange. I saw her earlier today?” Soph looks at the group.
“Me too,” Gabe adds. “She’s around.”
“Yeah it is strange,” Harry comments. “She’s usually on time, or at least sends us a text if she can’t make it.”
“I hope everything’s okay,” Flo scrunches her brows.
“I’m sure it is.” Sophie reassures her.
She turns to Harry with a secret smile, one hand sliding onto his thigh. “Any plans after this?”
“Oh!” Harry startles as her hand slides higher up his thigh. This was so…public. “Maybe. Uhm. Soph can we talk?”
He’d wanted to talk to her all week but had been so busy with exams. He thought about it a lot and really didn’t think sneaking behind y/n’s back with her friend was right. Especially after he asked her not to hook up with Rod in his room and she stopped.
Sophie shrugs and follows him off to the side.
“We need to talk,” Harry starts, he waves between both of them. “About this.”
“Yeah?” Sophie asks.
“Yeah. And. About Y/n.”
Sophie just notices the serious tone to Harry’s voice. She stops playing with her hair and stands taller. “Okay. What about her?”
Harry takes a deep breath, trying to articulate his thoughts. “I’ve just been thinking with us being her friend, she doesn’t know about us. I don’t want to sneak behind her back give her another reason to have trust issues—she’s been through a lot.”
“Yeah,” Soph agrees. “Y/n’s strong. She’s got like, that tough quiet strength she just exudes it always. I admire that about her.”
Harry nods, a small smile tugging on his lips. “Exactly. She’s really loyal to her friends, and I don’t want to screw anything up. I just…don’t think she’d approve of this.”
Sophie’s eyes soften with understanding. “Oh.”
“What?”
“You…care about her don’t you?”
“Well uhm yeah she’s my friend I-I yeah-“
“Like care about her.” Soph cuts off Harry’s stuttering. He felt like an idiot.
“Uhhh…”
“Be honest,” Soph curls the side of her mouth. “It’s not like we’re dating I don’t like care if you do.”
“Yeah fine. More than I probably should yeah,” he sighs. “But she’s made it clear we’re nothing more than friends. And I’m fine with that but we go way back and she’s helped me though a lot. I just don’t want to lose her. As a friend. But you’re a really great person too Soph I don’t want to lose. And I don’t want it to get complicated here.”
“I get it,” Sophie shrugs. “But it doesn’t have to be complicated. Or a secret. We’re just having fun!”
“Yeah I just don’t want to jeopardize anything.”
Unbeknownst to Harry and Sophie, y/n enters the caf then and spots the two before spotting their usual table. She heads towards Harry and Sophie first, curious as to why they were separated in what looked like an intense discussion.
“Fine. I get it!” Sophie continues.
“I’ve screwed up with her enough.” Harry says as y/n gets within hearing distance. “I hate feeling like I’m walking on egshells around her.”
“YN’s a tough cookie,” Soph agrees. “I’d be scared to be on her bad side.”
“I’ve been on it. Kinda made my life hell. It’s like facing a lion with just a stick.”
“You poor thing,” Soph touches Harry’s cheek and laughs just as her phone vibrates. “Oh that’s Emmy hold on.”
Harry smiles as she steps away but it dies as y/n steps into view.
“Oh y/n…how long-“
“Walking on eggshells? Didn’t realize being around me was such a burden-“
“No y/n that’s not the-“
“Save it Harry,” her eyes flicker with hurt.
“No seriously!” Harry tries to explain. “I wasn’t saying it like that!”
“You compared me to a fucking lion!”
“Let me explain-“
“After everything I told you about me I thought we got each other Har-“ Y/n cuts herself off as her throat closes with tears. She was not the type to cry in front of anyone, especially a boy. She waits for the feeling to subside. “It’s pretty clear where I stand. And by the way, talking me down isn’t going to make you look good with Soph.”
“Y/n please,” Harry feels her slipping away again and he envisions taking her by the shoulder and giving her a good shake. He hated when she did this, like the tides at a beach she retreated so quickly all he was left with was sand. She never left enough time for someone to grab her.
“Just…whatever Harry.”
With that she turns on her heel and walks away, the noise in the caf suddenly comes roaring in on either side of Harry. He wants to turn the volume dial all the way down and run after her but he knows neither are possible.
“What was that?” Sophie reappears.
“She heard the wrong end of our conversation.” Harry says with dread. “I didn’t mean for her to hear it like that. She must think…I don’t even know what she must think.”
“Mmm,” Sophie squeezes Harry’s shoulder. “Just give her space. I’ll ask her what she heard and explain don’t worry. She’ll come around.”
Harry wasn’t so sure.
***
Harry watches as Mary enters the bar and looks around. For a moment he can just be another bloke seeing Mary for the first time wondering what she’s like with her cropped hair and animated brown eyes. He feels his heart picking up speed the longer he watches her—he can’t believe it took him this long to ask her out officially.
Although it wasn’t entirely his fault.
Harry didn’t think Mary would ever be interested in him on a deeper level—he definitely wouldn’t date himself. And when Mary began to make excuses about hanging out last year, Harry took that as a big glaring sign he was right, instead of just asking her outright.
Then there was the tryst with Soph. And the fallout with y/n who cut him out of his life like she was scissors through wrapping paper. Harry acted like it didn’t hurt him but it did; after all the time they spent together he didn’t know how y/n could be so cold with people she called her friends. She didn’t even care about his explanation.
But Harry’s sister had given him an earful one night during Christmas break, about dating the girl he was really into and not being such a coward. It took him a whole month to work up the courage but on Valentine’s Day he’d asked Mary to be his. It was cheesy but she loved it. They’d hung out a few times and last week Harry asked her to be his girlfriend. He was officially in a relationship!
Mary catches his wave from the front and she breaks into her toothy smile that squeezed his heart every time it was directed his way. Falling in love made the whole world feel soppy. Harry’d never experienced something like this; in a world of learning and achievements this was one he felt really proud to get to.
“What are you smiling so hard about?” Mary teases as she reaches him. Harry kisses her and keeps her hand in his as they sit.
“Just this girl, can’t stop thinking about her.”
“Must be a lucky lady,” Mary grins. She was head over heels too.
“Nah I think I’m the lucky one.”
“God,” Mary pulls her hand away and presses them to her blushing cheeks. “You’re damn charming when you want to be Harry.”
That wasn’t a word anyone would ever use to describe him. Yet Harry feels over the moon to hear it. Here was proof he was changing—he was finally growing up.
The new couple have a few drinks with their food, they talk about school, friends, and the upcoming Easter Break.
“I’m heading home too,” Mary was originally from Liverpool. “My mum’s sister’s coming in from Australia for Easter. She’s got these little rascals I haven’t seen in years so I’ll have to see how big they’ve gotten now.”
“Are those the rascals who stole your Taylor Swift poster?”
“Signed poster,” Mary corrects him. “And yes. As payback because I caught then stealing their dad’s smokes. It’s been 3 years and I still haven’t gotten that back.”
“You really think they kept it?”
“Well we’re gonna find out,” Mary grinds her knuckles into the palm of her other hand. “I’m older and stronger now I can take them.”
Harry laughs, he loved seeing Mary when she was joking like this. Otherwise she was a bit like him when it came to studying and being serious.
“Well you’ve got a boyfriend now. I’ll make the trip if it means getting that poster back.”
“Would you!?” Mary reaches out to him. “That’s actually so sweet.”
Harry’s chest fills with warmth as she kisses him, and that sparks a different hunger. They pay their tab and head out hand in hand back to his dorm.
Rod isn’t in and they take advantage of that.
Roderick and Harry had continued their friendship despite y/n disappearing from his dorm. They’d gotten to the point where Harry declined a couple parties and Rod didn’t take it personally, and Harry actually helped Rod out with some of his studies. They worked out together and there was a better balance.
He did see y/n at parties sometimes. A couple times with Rod too. He tried to talk to her the first couple times but she always danced away just as he got to her. So he stopped trying. She was frustrating.
“Hey,” Mary kisses his jaw. “Where’d you go?”
“Sorry,” Harry had gotten lost in his head again. “I think Rod’s gonna be back soon-“
“Oh,” Mary sighs. “Okay. My roommate’s a shut in, too bad we can never go to mine.”
“If I asked him to not come home he wouldn’t,” Harry realizes Mary wanted to cross some bases too late. He really should stick to being in his body more often. He should have messaged Rod as soon as they headed here.
“Maybe next time,” Mary smiles sweetly. She wipes the side of Harry’s lips with her thumb, that’s when he realizes she was wearing lipstick. It was a subtle colour but not as much when it’s smeared on her chin. Something about seeing it like that feels endearing to him.
“Until then,” he pulls her back to him and kisses her hard, she responds in kind. Just as Harry slips his hand below her tee the doorknob jiggles. He sighs, “Fuck.”
“It’s alright,” Mary whispers below him. “That was fun.”
He peers back down at her, her lipstick is even worse but she’s looking up at him like she’s seeing him for the first time. Note to self show Mary how much I like her, Harry realizes.
This time he uses his thumb to swipe at the smudged lipstick. She smiles at him like he hung the stars.
***
Harry would have taken the train home last night to avoid the crowds but it was his last day with Mary before being apart for 2 weeks and he wanted to make the most of it. So now he pays the consequences with a packed train and barely any leg room.
The guy next to him plays some video game on his phone, the person across from that guy is already napping with her mouth open. Harry waits to see who takes the seat across and his heart drops when they finally take the seat and look up at him.
“For fuck’s sake,” she mutters.
Y/n. Of course it would be her. She’s cut her hair since the last time he saw her—now she has a fringe and he’s pretty sure layers with how much they flick outwards from her face.
“Y/n,” Harry greets her. This was going to be one long train ride. Although he wasn’t sure what she was doing here—did she move on campus this semester?
“Harry…” she says with a studied coolness.
“Nice to see you.”
“Is it?” She asks. “Look I’ll just find another-“
She gets up but Harry’s faster. He stretches out his long leg to block the corridor. She’s stuck within the 4-seater.
“What are you doing?”
“Keeping you in,” Harry says with a small smile. She would be forced to sit in front of him, he would finally be able to get her to talk.
“Harry don’t be so immature move your leg.”
“That’s your seat just take it y/n.” He motions to it.
“Harry!” She tries to climb over it but Harry just raises his leg and it throws her off balance. She nearly falls backwards but Harry springs up fast enough to balance her. That’s how he finds himself standing in her personal space, one hand on her lower back and the other clutching her arm.
“Sorry,” he mumbles.
“Get. Off of me.” She replies.
He lets her go and she actually sits back down. Harry glances around and flushes as he realizes everyone around them had started staring.
“Nice hair,” Harry tries again as the train leaves the station. By then they’d been sitting in silence for at least 15 minutes.
“Yeah. Whatever.” Y/n brushes her bangs.
“So are you on campus now?” Harry continues casually.
This both surprises and irritates y/n. Usually he was very sensitive to when she was being a bitch to him, but now it seemed he was getting some enjoyment out of talking to her despite her attempt at staying cold; something had changed with him.
“No.” She answers as clipped as possible.
“So you’re taking the train home today because…”
“God Harry,” y/n sighs. “I had my last exam and stayed out too late. Now stop asking me questions like I’m in a bloody interview. Leave me alone!”
“Isn’t that what I’ve been doing the last couple months,” Harry grumbles. The look she gives him could cut him in half.
She studies him, what’s changed she wonders. He still didn’t meet her eye completely but he was challenging her a lot more. She wouldn’t have minded it as much if she wasn’t recovering from a killer hangover.
“So won’t be hard to continue.” She glares.
And that’s how the remaining hour or so is spent sitting across from his friend or ex-friend, whatever. In silence. Apart from a few glances her way he buries his nose in his book and texts Mary as she boards her own train.
Of course, they get off on the same platform and when Harry’s mum catches sight of y/n she insists on giving her a ride home since y/n was just going to take the bus. The two of them sit in silence as Harry’s mum asks them a dozen questions. The ride ends with an invite for dinner and a non-committal yes from y/n.
“You guys get into a fight or something?” Harry’s mum asks as they drive to their home.
“Or something,” Harry mumbles.
“It was like the the bloody DMZ in here.”
Harry shrugs. “It’s just y/n being y/n.”
“I saw her a couple weeks ago at M&S,” Harry’s mum continues. “She didn’t look so good I offered her a ride but she said she was waiting for her sister to finish her shift. D’you know what’s going on with her?”
Harry thought about it but couldn’t think of a single thing. Y/n kept her cards very close to her chest.
“No. She doesn’t share much.”
“Well do you ask?”
“No but even if I did she would just shut me out,” Harry suddenly feels defensive.
“It’s still nice to be asked,” his mum says. “Knowing someone cares enough.”
Harry looks at his mum, the words she’s saying makes sense. But it surprises him to hear them and realize just how much it made sense. How come he’s never realized that?
Maybe he was a shittier friend than he realized.
So Harry gives it a few days and shows up at y/n’s house. This time he knew exactly where to find her.
“You are?” One of y/n’s brothers answers the door. He was a couple years older than them.
“Harry I uh-is y/n home?”
“Maybe,” his brother continues to scrutinize Harry until he squirms. “Wait here.”
He waits for an eternity, sitting down on the stoop while he does. Finally the door opens behind him and y/n joins him on the stoop.
She’s in a blue sweater and pyjama pants. Harry’s surprised to see little powerpuff girls all over them. His sister used to watch that Friday evenings.
“What’re you doing here?”
“I just want to talk y/n,” Harry had practiced looking her in the eye. Just talking to her like a friend. He looks at her now. “You’ve been icing me out for months now it’s unfair. Sophie told me she told you what we were talking about, how you walked in when it sounded wrong and you’re still mad about it?”
She stares at him for a beat before sighing.
As she exhales she grows smaller in front of him until she’s drooped over, her arms circle her knees, and her head rests atop them—she’s the size of a pumpkin.
“I’m not mad at that,” she admits. “Sophie explained you didn’t mean it like that. I was more offended just at the fact that you two were talking about me. But I didn’t realize you two were close…”
“Yeah. I’m sorry about that-“
“That,” she cuts him off. “Is mostly why I was upset with you. You made such a big deal that I was hooking up with Rod meanwhile you were banging one of my friends? Behind my back?”
“We weren’t-I wouldn’t say bang-“
“Doesn’t matter Har!” Y/n sits up again and Harry feels the clouds break for a sec as she uses his nickname. “That wasn’t a great way to find out. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Harry didn’t know. Or he did: he didn’t think him and Soph were going to be more than a one time thing and when it was, he was ashamed a bit. He didn’t think he would go to college and have a casual relationship as his first one. It wasn’t something he necessarily wanted public knowledge.
“Maybe I was scared. I dunno. I just know I’m really sorry.”
They sit in silence for a few seconds, Harry hears the hoover turn on in yn’s house.
“Why’ve you got to be so fucking honest for,” y/n finally says with a sigh. “Makes it so hard to be mad at you when you’re all sincere and vulnerable.”
“Sorry,” Harry repeats.
“Stop it!” YN exclaims.
“Fine!” Harry’s heart pounds. “I don’t give a fuck about how you felt. Happy?”
Y/n freezes and slowly turns to stare at him. A smile ever so slowly tugs at the corner of her lips. She almost looks proud?
“Harry!” She grins. Then she punches him square in the bicep. Then gasps. “Have you been working out?”
Harry had been; in between class and clubs and dating, he started working out last winter with Rod.
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me y/n,” Harry jokes and y/n snorts. The two look at each other at the sound of it before bursting out in laughter.
“I don’t know where that came from!” Y/n says through laughter. “I literally snorted!”
“You sounded like Peppa Pig,” Harry also has tears in his eyes. He missed hanging out with y/n.
Once they get ahold of their laughter Harry bumps his shoulder into hers. “It’s nice you’re talking to me again.”
She looks like she wants to say something to Harry, her eyes grow intense as she fixes onto him, her chin wobbling, but then it passes. Harry ignores the spark of disappointment.
“Yeah we’ll see.” She says with a half smile.
All was right in the world again, Harry thought.
He should have known, though, being friends with y/n would never be that simple.
*
TAGLIST: hmu if you want to be added
#writingsfromhome#harry styles x reader#harry styles fic#harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harry styles imagine#fic#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#college!harry#ya harry styles#enemies to friends#idk#harry stylesxreader#things to learn#harry styles series#how the HELL has it been over a year since part 1#HOW#nerd!harry
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Paul lahote x male reader
Pt1
Summary: after Paul tried to attack your sister bella who was stupid enough to slap him. You decide to save her. With Earth bending.
Also mmm…. Reader is blind. I think you can guess who reader is based off. If you don’t it’s alright. your like 15 because I think Paul is 16
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“What did you do to him!” Bella your older sister lost it. “He didn’t want this!” “What did he tell you?” “He tells me nothing because he’s scared from you!” Bella lost it when Paul laughed. She slapped him. Oh it was about to go down… “bella get away from him!” You said while running towards her. “Why-” before Bella could finish Paul shifted. “M/n Run!”
You positioned your feet on the ground while your hands started vibrating. In 2 seconds Paul was hit with a rock bolder which send him flying towards a nearby tree. “Don’t you ever try to hurt my sister again!” Before you could do anything else, Jared got a hold on you in the air. “Ugh! Let me go you-”
After everything calmed down you, your sister and the other Dogs went to the Uley’s house.
“so how did you do that?”
“Can you not ask.” “Oh, No, no,no I get it!”
“….” “Do you move them with your mind?”
“Gosh do you ever shut up!”
“Hey umm… what your brother did was crazy how long have you known?” “ I- he never. I don’t know okay. All I know is that he moves rocks. god knows how…..Can we stop talking about this?”
���Come on bella we don’t bite!” “Don’t forget M/n he’s kind of cute.” “I’ll rip your head off Jared!” “Yeah he is so cute”
“Hey what was that?” “What was what?” “Don’t act like you don’t know!” “Okey,Okey. Listen closely…”
“Mhm…” “ I… sold my soul so now I can move rocks with my mind.” “You’re impossible…” “what!? It was good right?” “let just go”
Before you could enter the house you heard Paul behind you. “What do you want?” “I just want to say sorry okay? I crashed out. I… see you’re really strong. And well…” “is there a reason you are being so nice? Because last time we met you tried to bite my head off!”
“so… do… you… know what imprint means?
“No and I don’t want to know. Let’s just head inside.”
You met Emily, Sam’s wife. Who was really nice. You could see they were all really happy. except Paul.
“Hey Paul! What’s wrong man!” Jared asked Paul “huh- what oh um… nothing.” You could feel he was lying. Sam knew what was going on. Paul imprinted. On you.
“So Bella, M/n I guess you’ve already met Emily, Jared, Embry and… Paul.” “But M/n I guess you already now who you launched that rock to.” “Yeah, anger issues right here!” “Don’t be disrespectful!” Bella softly punched you in the arm. “What!?” “Basically what sam is going up to is that Paul imprinted on M/n” “what does that mean?” “Well…”
After Jacob explained to you and Bella what imprint meant. Paul started walking towards you. “It’s okay if you hate me I understand-” “woah buddy hate is a strong word. I don’t hate you! I actually kind of like you. You are brave, strong and kind of you know… hot.” Bella rolled her eyes while every body else started laughing.
“But I think we still got to work on those anger issues you got there.”
“I’ll try my best just for you.”
—————————————
I am so fucking bored and can’t sleep so I taught why not make a m/n that is not DC/batfamily? Also I barely can’t think of anything so here it goes. Also in my opinion this is probably the worst m/n I’ve ever done because well I barely remember any twilight and it’s badly written.
Peace and love ❤️
#male reader#paul lahote#paul lahote x reader#twilight x male reader#twilight#bella swan#twilight x reader#sam uley#jared cameron#jacob black#paul lahote x malereader#Paul lahote x male!reader
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The Less I Know The Better XVIII (JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron)
Warnings: mentions of NON-CON, attempted murder, violence, jealousy, underage drinking, drug use, unhealthy relationship, one sided kiara x jj, non canon ages, pogue!reader
➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | divider by @firefly-graphics
➥ series masterlist
summary: When you start dating Rafe Cameron, no one is more surprised than you when your best friend JJ takes it really well. However, no one is more surprised than JJ when he’s forced to see his once frumpy BFF in an entirely new light, suddenly terrified of losing what he never knew he had to the person he hates most.
~
“What the hell happened to your face?”
JJ paused, reaching up and touching his face, wincing at the sting. He’d almost forgotten about the feel of you digging your nails into him, fighting him off and desperate to get away. So desperate to get away from, and so desperate to run back to Rafe. The thought made him frown, and he roughly exhaled, recalling that John B had asked him a question upon meeting him downstairs.
“Ran into some Kooks with a grudge,” he lied.
Pope frowned at that, reaching out to touch JJ’s face when JJ slapped his hand away.
“…and they decided to scratch you up like a girl? Where are they?”
“They left already,” JJ waved them off, pushing past them. “Let’s just go.”
“We’ve only been here for like an hour,” Pope argued, but following, nonetheless. “You’re the one who wanted to come so bad, anyway.”
JJ clenched his jaw at that, struggling to swallow.
Today hadn’t gone like he’d thought it would, at all. He had just wanted to talk, that was all he’d wanted, and even when it seemed clear you wanted nothing to do with him, right now, he’d been prepared to accept that. Prepared to bide his time, but just as John B. had noted, JJ didn’t think straight when it came to you. He had given you his phone to use, not even giving it a second thought, and everything had come crashing down.
He'd done a shitty thing, an unforgivable thing, and he’d accepted that. He’d made his peace with what he’d done to you, but staring you in the face and watching your expression crumble had affected him more than he’d thought it would. It was like watching a nervous breakdown, and all he’d wanted to do was hold you, but it was his fault. How could he make you feel better when it was his fault?
He couldn’t lie, and he’d been forced to admit his moment of weakness, unable to resist you throwing yourself at him after months of just wanting to be with you so badly. JJ had deserved every slap and every punch, but he’d been shocked at how…angry he’d gotten. Every time you hit him and screamed at him, he’d gotten angrier, and he’d hurdled over the edge when you locked yourself in the bathroom.
Were you so disgusted with the idea of being with him? Sure, you had every right to be mad, but you’d acted like sleeping with him was the worst thing in the world. You were always so quick, so eager to throw yourself at Rafe like some Figure 8 slut, but you recoiled from JJ like he was covered in boils or something. You’d known each other your entire lives, had grown up together and seen parts of each other that no one else had.
Now, it was like none of that counted for anything.
He looked out of the window, sitting with Pope and John B. in Heyward’s truck, a slight frown on his face.
He hadn’t planned to…hurt you again. That wasn’t the plan, and his jaw ticked at how things had gone so far south. He’d just wanted to talk to you, but then you got angry and he got angry, and once he got his hands on you, it was like he was moving on autopilot. Deep down, you had to have known it was him. You’d been so eager so good for him, and he’d only wanted to show you how good it could be with him too…not just Rafe.
You’d accepted it at first, lying there and staring past him with your fingers digging into his skin. You were so tight, practically choking him, and JJ shuddered at the memory of you squeezing his cock. But then it was like a flip switched, and you were crying and pushing against him and trying to get away. He hadn’t expected you to fight back so much, and he resisted the urge to shift in his seat, swearing he could still feel the pain of your knee driving up between his legs.
He'd tried to run after you, but it had been too much.
…and now JJ had a problem on his hands.
There was no doubt you’d be running straight to Rafe. JJ didn’t doubt that for a second, and he didn’t want to think about what Rafe would do. While JJ knew that he deserved whatever he had coming to him, he also wouldn’t accept those consequences being dished out by Rafe of all people. What high horse did Rafe have to stand on? The other blond just looked like he passed Roofie around like candy.
He knew it was only a matter of time, but when days went by with no sign of Rafe, JJ’s suspicions grew. Was it possible that Rafe was just biding his time, waiting for the right moment? It seemed likely, but then weeks had gone by before he knew it, and JJ started to wonder to himself if you’d told him, at all. Was it possible that you hadn’t? And if so…
Why not?
JJ didn’t want to read into that too deeply, but maybe there was some part of you that still cared about JJ. He wondered if there was something in you that still cherish your friendship, and because of that, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell Rafe? That thought warmed JJ’s chest, but he also entertained the possibility that Rafe was just biding his time.
“Still nothing?”
Kie’s voice brought JJ out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see Sarah shaking her head at the brunette.
It had been weeks since any of them had heard from you, and he didn’t need to be a genius to feel their annoyance at him. They blamed him for your scare presence, and rightfully so, he guessed. It was looking more and more like you wanted nothing to do with any of them, and seeing their somber faces was almost enough to make JJ feel bad. If they only knew the half of it…
“She’s obviously hiding out at your house,” Pope said. “How is it possible that you don’t even run into her?”
“She hasn’t left Rafe’s room in weeks.”
They all, sans JJ, perked up at that, wearing deep frowns.
“Are you sure?”
Sarah nodded, and Pope looked thoughtful.
“Okay,” he dragged the word out. “That’s not normal.”
“JJ fucked up, but this seems like it’s about more than that,” John B. commented, and JJ looked away, sipping on his beer.
“That’s all that happened?” Kie wondered, talking to him, now. “You kissed her and…you and Rafe fought?”
“Yes, I already told you.”
His tone wasn’t the nicest, and Kie picked up on it.
“Excuse me for just wanting to make sure we have all the details on how you ruined our friendship with Y/N,” she snapped.
Their eyes met at that, and JJ rolled his, pushing himself to his feet.
“Besides, some of us have to be concerned…”
JJ slowed to a stop at that, turning to face her as she frowned at him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that we’re in this situation because of you, and you don’t seem all that worried,” she threw out, shrugging at him. “For someone that messed this up all by himself, you don’t seem to care nearly as much as you should.”
“Maybe because I know I screwed up. I know exactly what I did wrong and moping about it and trying to force her to talk to me isn’t going to fix it.”
Kie didn’t have a response to that, simply eyeing him. The atmosphere was tense, and when it became clear that no one else was going to say anything, JJ walked outside. Their anger and irritation was valid, but it didn’t suck any less.
Hearing that you hadn’t left Rafe’s room in weeks had him swallowing. He’d done that, and JJ blinked back tears, so angry at everyone and the world and himself. He hated where you two were at, because even when he was angrily listening to you gush about Rafe, he could at least talk to you. Even when he watched you two, he could at least see you, but this… He hated this more than anything, and he only had himself to blame.
JJ wondered if Rafe was comforting you, and he wished it was him instead.
Rafe didn’t deserve you, that much everyone could agree on. Everyone except you, and knowing that you were in a place where you saw JJ as the bad guy while Rafe was the one to lick your wounds had him seething. JJ knew he fucked up, he knew that, but deep down…
You had to have known it was him.
You had.
You’d been too loud, too wanton, too into it. JJ could still remember you begging in his ear. Your legs wrapping around his waist. Your hips moving over his as you fucked yourself onto his cock. You’d been desperate to have him inside of you, a woman possessed as you wildly chased your orgasm. It was like you couldn’t get enough of him, and JJ had to believe that you knew deep down, because otherwise that meant you’d been that unrestrained for Rafe.
And he could barely stomach the thought.
JJ closed his eyes, fingers tangling in hair as he allowed himself to get lost in the feel of your mouth wrapped around him. The party on the beach sounded so far away, the only light this far coming from the moon and what stars were visible. Your tongue laved against his cock, sliding over him and making him shudder.
A shaky breath left him, hands tightening, and he wanted to drive himself towards the back of your throat.
The spell, however, was broken.
“Ow, JJ, what the hell?”
He could feel himself softening some at the sound of a voice that did not belong to you. He angrily exhaled, weakly opening his eyes and looking down as he loosened his grip some. It was some girl he’d hooked up with before, last year or maybe even half a year ago, he couldn’t remember. Your absence was weighing on him more than he wanted to admit, and something in her smile had been familiar.
It had taken nothing at all to pull her into a kiss, forcing himself to pretend it was you as she hummed into his mouth. Her lips had traveled to his ear, voice light and teasing as she suggested they go back to her place, but his frustration had guided him to grab her arm and pull her further down the beach. He’d kissed her for all of ten seconds before his hand met the top of her head, forcing her to her knees.
He didn’t want to see her face, and he didn’t even want to hear her talk. He needed to pretend like it was you, because at this point, he was going crazy, and his impulsiveness had almost driven him to head straight for the Cameron’s and force his way in. God, wouldn’t that be a sight?
After a quick apology, she was working her mouth over him again, and JJ thought about what it would be like to fuck you in front of Rafe. He would pay to see the look on the other blonde’s face, forced to watch as JJ tasted you and held you down and made you come around him again and again. The scenario was the only thing keeping him satisfied, her mouth not doing much to keep him hard, and he imagined you moaning his name, uncaring of your boyfriend’s gaze, only concerned with milking JJ dry.
That was the thought that sent him over the edge, and a low moan escaped his lips as he spilled down her throat. He couldn’t stop his hand from tightening in her hair, lips moving, and when she batted his hand away and hurried to stand, JJ worried that he might’ve unintentionally hurt her again.
…but then she’d slapped him, ruining his post climax haze.
“Y/N?”
JJ licked his lips, confused as he stared at her angry face.
“What?” he breathed, still struggling to calm his heart.
“You called me Y/N,” she told him, an attitude in her tone, and JJ sighed.
“I’m sorry, I-.”
“If you want to fuck Rafe’s girl, that’s your business, but next time, have the decency to leave me out of it when you want to get off on it,” she sneered, harshly bumping into him as she made her way back down the beach.
He couldn’t even focus on her deserved anger, her words making him roll his eyes.
Everyone on this side of the island knew that you and JJ were best friends since birth. You two were practically joined at the hip, so how in the world did your name manage to get associated with Rafe’s now in less than a tenth of that time? It was such a small thing, but it managed to make him so mad.
“We need to talk.”
That was how Kie greeted him when he made it back to everybody else after fixing himself and getting his mind together. JJ eyed her, grabbing a beer and gesturing for her to talk.
“Not here,” she said.
Something about her voice and the look in her eye had JJ frowning, and he started to seriously debate if he even wanted to talk to her. However, Kie being Kie, he knew that she was going to get her way one way or another, and he chose to just get it over with.
She spoke again as soon as they made it near some tree.
“Rafe came by The Wreck yesterday.”
Those words had JJ’s heart sinking, but he kept his expression even, cooly watching her and waiting for her to continue.
“He was angry and wanting to know ‘what the hell did you and Y/N talk about���?”
She used air quotes, and again, JJ kept his face even. Kie was frowning at him, now, and the more she stared at his face, it seemed, the angrier she got.
“See, Rafe was under some impression that weeks ago, Y/N left his house to meet with me. Left him a note and everything…”
“…okay.”
“…and the same night, something happened, and she hasn’t been the same since.”
JJ merely took a sip of his beer, shrugging at Kie.
“Did he say what?”
“No, he wouldn’t tell me, but I’m sure you can see how he partially blames me for whatever happened to her, right? Only…I never texted Y/N about meeting up to talk.”
Both Kie’s gaze and tone were accusatory, but JJ was just relieved Rafe hadn’t told Kie what happened to you. Beyond that, he was also relieved to know that you hadn’t told Rafe it was him who did it. Again, he wondered if there was some part of you that was still hanging onto the piece that cared about JJ. Kie’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.
“…but…I do know someone who might use me to see her, considering Y/N wants nothing to do with that person, now,” she evenly told him, holding his gaze. “…because if she knew it was that person who really wanted to see her, she wouldn’t go.”
JJ slowly blinked at her.
“…and I know that person just happens to know my password into my phone.”
“If you have something you want to say then just say it,” JJ spat.
“Did you trick her into seeing you?”
“So what if I had? Aren’t you the same one who was riding my ass about making things right?”
Kie pressed her lips together at that, tightening her arms over her chest.
“Well, Rafe is saying something happened to her after she talked to you. If he knew that it was really you who lured her out that night, he wouldn’t hesitate to find you. He already hates you, and you’re just giving him more reasons,” she sighed, running her hand through her hair. “…and why did you pretend you haven’t talked to her?”
“Because she’s made it clear she’s done with me, okay?”
Kie’s face fell at that, gaze sympathetic at the emotion in his voice.
“You messed up, JJ,” she softly told him. “When I thought this was just you being jealous and petty and childish, I was so mad, you know? You were acting like a kid who was losing his favorite toy, and it was ugly to witness.”
JJ’s gaze found the ground.
“…but then you said you were in love with her, and…I don’t know. As much as it sucked to hear, I just felt sorry for you. I feel really sorry for you, but you messed up, and you have to know that you might not be able to come back from this.”
JJ closed his eyes, thinking to himself if Kie only knew.
“I’m glad you tried to fix things, but…you can’t force her to forgive you.”
He swallowed, and he took another sip of beer, keeping his thoughts to himself.
“…and you didn’t see her with anyone else after you talked to her?”
“No,” he said, thinking that it wasn’t exactly a lie.
JJ could think of nothing but that night and how wrong it had all gone. He knew that once Rafe knew, it was over. From the moment you’d started dating the Kook, he’d had this feeling of dread that something would have to give. You were sweet, too sweet, and had foolishly thought there was room for both Rafe and JJ in your life, but both blondes knew otherwise. It was only a matter of time, really, and from the moment Rafe had seen him kissing you, JJ knew that he wanted him permanently out of your life as much as JJ wanted Rafe gone.
When Rafe found out what JJ did, the other guy was going to want to kill him, and JJ accepted that he felt the same. Rafe was your first, something that would always twist JJ up, but JJ fully intended to be your last by whatever means necessary.
They were at The Chateau when everything blew up.
They were sitting around the fire, drinking beers and hanging out, but it still felt so odd without you. JJ had become so accustomed to the feel of your arm brushing against his, your laugh in his ear at something he’d said. All of that was ruined now, and he still struggled with whether to put the blame on Rafe…or himself.
Everything had seemed, calm, too calm, and that was when Pope had brought up the party.
“Honestly, it was pretty lame,” he admitted. “…but then again, we only stayed about an hour because JJ got into it with some Kooks.”
Sarah had scrunched her face up at that, but JJ’s gaze slowly landed on Kie, a slight frown on her face.
“What? How come we’re just hearing about this?” she wondered, concern in her voice.
“I honestly forgot,” John B. commented. “It’s not like we saw it. When we ran into JJ, his face was all scratched up, and he was pretty over it.”
JJ watched Kie’s frown deepen, a thoughtful look on her face, and he felt his heart speed up in his chest. Kie had never mentioned to anyone else that you and JJ had met up at the party, trying to talk things out, and for that, he’d been grateful. Because JJ was sure that the same expression washing over Kie’s features would’ve taken over theirs too.
Her dark eyes met his, a troubled look in them, and he saw disbelief flit over her face just as the sound of speeding tires could be heard.
It drew all of their attention, and they all stood, warily watching a familiar black truck speed into John B.’s yard. JJ felt his jaw clench, and despite the fact that his life as he knew it was about to change, despite the fact that his friends were probably about to look at him like they didn’t even know him, JJ felt oddly…ready. He wasn’t sure why, but maybe it had something to do with the fact that no matter what happened tonight, it was either going to be JJ or Rafe, and JJ wouldn’t rest until Rafe was out of your life for good.
“What the hell are you doing?” Sarah called as Rafe threw the truck in park, hopping out.
Rafe looked like the Rafe they all knew, and nothing like the calm and loving boyfriend that had taken possession of him whenever he was with you. He strode towards them, lip curled over his teeth, and JJ didn’t have the heart to tell Sarah that Rafe wasn’t there for her.
“How’s it going?” he barely acknowledged them, his blue gaze immediately landing back on JJ. “JJ.”
He knew the greeting wasn’t genuine, any doubts long gone when Rafe reached behind his waist and pulled out a gun.
Sarah’s reaction was instant, a scream leaving her just as Kie screamed too. John B., the closest, was the first to go at Rafe, the brunette too close for Rafe to aim at him instead. When he pushed Rafe, the gun became unsteady, and JJ ducked just as the bullet hit John B.’s house instead.
Pope was helping John B. now, but Rafe only had eyes for JJ.
“Rafe, what the hell? Are you crazy?”
Between the two of them, they got the gun, but that didn’t stop Rafe from trying to get his hands on JJ.
“Me? You need to be looking at that snake you call a friend,” he spat, his finger aimed right at JJ.
“What is he talking about? What is happening, right now?” Pope wondered, voice panicked and shaking as he held the gun, now.
“Ask him.”
They all looked at JJ at Rafe’s words, and JJ scoffed.
“You sound crazy-.”
“I’m not leaving here until I know you’re fucking dead,” he hissed, attempting to get at him again, but stopped by Pope and John B. pushing against him. “…but I won’t be satisfied until they see you for exactly what you are. You’re going to tell them!”
“JJ, what is he talking about?” Sarah questioned, looking between them.
John B. and Pope were alternating between looking at him and keeping their eyes and hands on Rafe. Kie, though, Kie was the only one who seemed to have an idea of what Rafe was talking about. She looked at JJ as he glanced at her, and she slowly shook her head.
“What else did you and Y/N talk about at the party?”
At her words, Pope and John B. faltered, blinking and looking at JJ.
“What?” Sarah spoke for them.
“JJ wanted to go to the party so bad because he tricked Y/N into meeting him. She thought she was meeting me,” Kie whispered, tears in her eyes. “John B. said you had scratches all over your face.”
“Yeah,” Rafe breathed, voice cold and eyes blank. “Yeah, Y/N might’ve done that when you raped her…again.”
Time seemed to stand still once Rafe’s words reached the air, and JJ heard Sarah gasp, a soft ‘no’ escaping her. John B. and Pope’s eyes were wide, and in their shock, they had completely let Rafe go, and determined to kill JJ one way or another, the other blond tackled him to the ground. JJ was prepared for it, and his friends became background noise as he brought his fist straight across Rafe’s jaw.
#dark!jj maybank#dark!jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x pogue!reader#jj maybank#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x pogue!reader#obx#outer banks fanfiction
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Straw hats x speedy male reader during the marine ford arc where y/n literally ran out of his way in the ocean using all of his speed despite struggling through the rough waves manages to arrive just in time the middle of the war between the white beards and the admirals since obviously he just can't stand there and do nothing and since the place he got teleported to had nothing to offer and he had to find the others too (yeah sorry If I didn't add much on how it would go tho maybe we could have a moment where he crashes onto the ship so hard that the ship was literally shaking?)
I'm just gonna left this right here since I was suggesting an idea if you could write male reader where he awakened his speed devil fruit and now he has the ability to control the wind using his speed and being able to travel somewhere faraway using teleportation which takes a lot of speed and stamina to do it
(think of it as like a mixture between toothless in HTTYD2 and movie sonic during the baseball scene where they kept on running at full speed as the electricity begins to surround their bodies until they released it, creating a huge shockwave)
(this is something they forgot to put in the request)
—Strawhats x male!reader
—Summary: You seem to awaken some powers that you did not know and you try to help as much as possible but time plays against you
—Warnings: none
─ You separated from the Strawhats in Sabaody like everyone else, the thing was that you ended up on a completely remote island, only a few people lived there.
─ In your desperation to return to your companions you ate a devil fruit that according to the locals could 'teleport' you to other islands.
─ It took you at least a day to think about what you were going to do, and you thought that the villagers had tricked you because you didn't feel any power after devouring it.
─ It was maybe a few hours before the whole battle in Marineford broke out that you noticed some changes in your body, or rather on the outside, they all seemed to go in slow motion while you moved.
─ It was hard for you to come to the conclusion that the teleportation they were talking about was nothing more than supersonic speed, barely having been able to experience the use of powers and with complete inexperience you jumped fearlessly into the sea.
─ You thought you would die trying to run through the water, however when you noticed that your steps were lighter due to the speed you gained enough confidence to run more.
─ Nothing could stop your feet at this point, neither waves nor giant doors, although that was the problem, you didn't know how to stop your run so abruptly, you entered the battle overwhelming many soldiers without even wanting to.
─ You couldn't stop until you flipped a couple of times and crashed into a big ship, shaking the ground in such a way that some people staggered and fell.
─ Luffy was happy to find you there, although fate was already sealed, you tried to help as much as possible, but the exhaustion of getting to Marineford and the little experience with your powers were not the best help.
─ Events did not change and unfortunately neither Ace nor Whitebeard came out of that war alive, but at least you could be there with Luffy after all that.
─ As for the next two years, you dedicated yourself to honing your powers, improving your stamina, improving your speed, you used your 'teleportation' to visit others, although everyone wanted to keep their personal training a secret, you were their confidant.
─ Chopper was so scared to see you there, he gave you a revision and recommended activities so you don't wear yourself out with your new abilities.
─ Nami used you as a guinea pig to create air currents or move clouds.
─ You didn't visit Zoro much because Mihawk looked at you badly the times you went, he's just resentful because you accidentally knocked him down in Marineford.
─ Usopp was glad to share his little inventions and crops to someone, proud boy showing you everything he has improved.
─ Sanji will cry for you to take him to another island, but you just can't interfere with his training (it's a canon event).
─ Franky will ask you to bring him cola because there isn't much around there and Brook will give you a VIP pass to his concerts, he will also ask you to do some kind of show with your speed for his shows.
─ Robin will be glad to see that you're okay, surely she was the one who helped you the most to understand your powers and trained you with the revolutionaries, you needed to get stronger so that things like the Marineford incident doesn't happen again.
#op#one piece#headcanons#one piece x reader#one piece x male reader#strawhats#strawhats x reader#strawhats x male reader#reader insert#request#x reader#sfw
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Stiltikyu? You good there, buddy?
Explanation for hypothetical abstraction under the cut!
When Stiltikyu first entered the circus, she practically skipped all stages of grief right to acceptance in a day. She was still freaked out of course, and it’s not like she likes the situation any more than the rest of them just because it became the new normal. They just..it never actually occurred to their brain that there was any other conclusion to reach. Heck, they’re half convinced they’re just dead and in some kind of purgatory now, so whether or not their body is rotting away at her computer, preserved in a comatose state, or just vanished leaving their conscience no place nor method to return, the result is the same as it would have been if they’d been isekai’d to hell by truck-san.
So are they immune to abstraction, then? Alas, just because their personal coping is different than the others doesn’t make their psyche any more resilient to stress in general, even if the source isn’t the idea of an exit just out of reach. Stiltikyu’s “what’s the point”/“nothing matters” moments are mostly interpersonal. She’s never been desperate to leave so it’s not something she can be disappointed by when she had no expectations in the first place. How can they lose the hope she never had?
What drives them to her near-breaking point is how isolated she feels despite being surrounded by other people in an identical situation.
Maybe the situation made her desperate for connections, or maybe she was always the type to try and make then maintain social bonds. Could be both, the former exacerbating the latter.
As an introvert she’s fine being on their own, so it’s not like she’s trying to be best friends with everyone, but they’ve got no choice but to be stuck here together so they might as well tolerate one another, right?
So yeah, when they interact with the same group of usually-less-than-10 people every day, for years, possibly forever, she gets attached even to the ones they’re not particularly close to.
So losing them is already hard. And then feeling like the only one who cares makes it even worse. She tries to not resent anyone too badly for it, whether they’re repressing the grief for their own stability’s sake, are desensitized or mentally too far gone themselves to really process, or actually legitimately Do Not Care.
(Besides, they’re technically not dead. Just in the cellar, indefinitely. Possibly permanently, so not much different than death, but the same could be said for their human lives regarding the circus, and you’ve already read her outlook on that.)
And oh boy do they have to try.
The news that Kaufmo had abstracted was broken the same moment as the ceiling he came crashing down through right in front of them. Upsetting as that is already, wouldn’t it at least catch them off guard, draw out a reaction from it being so sudden and jarring?
And yet, Jax was dismissive, Kinger and Zooble didn’t even acknowledge it, and while Gangle had some of an expected reaction, that didn’t stop her from calmly taking the escalator up and away with everybody else.
Then when Caine had put him away, Kaufmo’s name was mentioned only in an incredulous comment from Zooble- mostly a jab directed at Kinger -before the conversation moved on like it was nothing.
Just another day.
Which yeah, here, it was.
That’s the problem.
Maybe she’s the only one here whose ever been to therapy, but Stiltikyu genuinely believes they’d all be better off if they were more open with one another. They should be leaning on eachother for support, but the lack of vulnerability indicates an even deeper lack of trust.
(Well, maybe that’s unfair to Ragatha, who puts in the most effort compared to all of them, but she’s walking proof of the point about therapy, just in the opposite direction. Even Stiltikyu, with all her “hang ups” about compassion and connection, knows that being what you think others want or need never guarantees you’ll get what you want or need from them in return, only that they’ll eventually take it for granted (unintentionally or otherwise).)
They’re used to- expect, even -a lack of care from Caine. She understands he isn’t human and doesn’t think or feel like they do. What’s the other’s excuses? Even if they don’t have the energy to empathize, are too tired or scared or whatever to want to risk letting anything else happen that will just end up hurting them more, isn’t the fact they cling so much to their remaining humanity proof of its existence?
Either they no longer see that same humanity in those who hit rock bottom, or they’re pretending not to if it means putting off the same fate for themselves.
She’s not sure which would be the sadder way to be living.
Well, no. Surviving isn’t living.
That’s the heart of it then, huh? Everyone is too busy surviving to live.
And she can’t take it. (But she has to.)
Whose going to care, let alone miss them if they fall into thoughts they can’t come back from? They’ll just be another soul lost to the cycle with the only ghost of proof that they were ever there an X on a door memorializing them.
They don’t remember much of her life before coming here but they’re certain that at least their friends and family would miss them, even if they stopped (or never were) looking.
And maybe, in small moments, their “friends” here would think of them from time to time. Not enough to mourn or reminisce, though. The last their “name” would ever be said would probably be some semi-sarcastic remark about weakness, then they would go on like she’d never even been there to begin with.
Obviously she doesn’t wish devastation on others, especially in a case where it could become their own undoing, but the idea that she might have no impact/impression if- probably when -she slips up, is a terrifying source of motivation to keep going.
So, she survives right alongside the rest without ever really feeling like she’s “with” them.
(The disconnect is worse some days than others.)
(Let’s see how long she lasts.)
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Found more Megs in the old writing folders. I forgot how much I adore getting into his head.
_
How do you lay siege to an island that used to be a space port? Maverick thought as he frowned out at the vast sea of rust he was marching along with the rest of the Decepticons. He didn’t want to doubt Megatron’s plans, after all they were marching from a resounding victory at Fort Scyk, but they were going to take over a spaceport? A space sport in the middle of a sea. A spaceport in the middle of a sea of rust.
There were so many ways that could go wrong.
However, Megatron seemed as confident as ever, if not even more so than usual. The energy was palpable. Everyone was practically vibrating with excitement. Fort Scyk had been an enormous win for the Decepticons. The first real battle of what was now full out war was theirs and the Autobots were reeling from the surprise and were struggling to gather their forces to meet Megatron head on again.
The Decepticons weren’t hiding their current plans of attack, either. Megatron was making as much of a show as he could and somehow that was throwing the Autobots off. They were expecting a hidden attack or some secret bombing or espionage and spies. They were not expecting Megatron to knock on their front door and then invite himself in. Which is essentially what he did at Fort Scyk; blindsided the Autobot’s precious Zeta Prime so badly he didn’t do much else other than call for the retreat.
I guess if it worked once it could work again. Maverick trailed behind Barricade who was telling another bot he didn’t know about the number of Autobots he shot in the face. The more he got to know the Decepticons the more he knew he was on the winning side. They were ruthless, but Maverick could tell it was because of their passion. Every bot he’d met so far could tell him why he was fighting and who he was fighting for. Megatron didn’t need to demand loyalty, he had it already.
Maverick wasn’t at Fort Scyk for the first battle, he had been catching up on history and learning all the things he’d need in order to fight for Megatron. He was surprised when Barricade told him he was deploying out with the rest of them. He still wasn’t the best with a gun and he hadn’t even picked up a melee weapon yet. He hoped he was ready enough, but he definitely didn’t feel like it.
The marching finally came to a halt and Maverick sidled up next to Barricade. They hadn’t really talked since that afternoon at the crash site but he was still the only one Maverick knew by name besides Megatron, Soundwave, and a few other higher officers that he had seen, but never spoken to. Barricade didn’t pay him any attention as the Decepticons went silent and everyone turned to look up at Megatron who had found an elevated dune to stand on.
“My Decepticons!” Megatron bellowed. “We have marched from Fort Scyk where we hardly had to lift our digits. Our guns barely got warm and our weapons didn’t get the chance to spill enough energon. I am not satiated! The Autobots fled, cowards all of them, too interested in saving themselves than fighting. They don’t want change! They don’t want to admit we are right! They want to keep using us for their purposes. They want to keep us in the gutters so they can live in the high rises. They want us in the mines so they don’t have to get their hands dirty.
I will NOT stand down!”
A resounding cheer echoed out from the Decepticons, so loud it rippled across the rust floating behind Megatron.
Megatron grinned and continued. “I won’t let them use us anymore! We are not fodder. We built this world and we keep it running. Without us they are nothing!” Looking around the War Lord caught Maverick’s gaze and pointed to him. “You, come!”
Maverick hesitated as every Decepticon around him looked in his direction. Me?
Megatron crossed his arms over his chest and Barricade pushed him forward forcefully. “Go rookie.”
Stumbling forward Maverick caught himself and quickly clamored up the dune to stand next to the imposing leader. Glancing back at the crowd Maverick held in a small gasp. There were a lot more bots than Maverick could have guessed while being down amongst everyone. From what he could gather their numbers looked to have nearly doubled since Fort Scyk; whether that was from Decepticons emerging from cities further away after their first victory or Autobot deserters he couldn’t tell.
Suddenly feeling more than a little self conscious Maverick covered the Autobot symbol that was still plastered to his chest with a hand and looked up at Megatron with a questioning gaze. The war lord was even more intimidating than that first day he met him. There was a different spark in his eye. An excitement coursed throughout his body- one that Maverick could feel static through the air just standing next to him.
Megatron clapped a large hand to his shoulder and pushed Maverick to face the crowd. “This is what the Autobots would throw away if given the chance. A young spark with promise. Labeled with a number and brainwashed to believe in their cause. In their lies. They have no idea what they throw away everyday because they do not care to know what we are capable of!” Megatron took his free hand and pushed his hand off his chest, placing a single, clawed digit over Maverick’s Autobot symbol and slowly dragged it across the face. Maverick tried not to cringe as blue energon started to seep out from the cut “They slap this abomination onto their property, like a brand. It has no meaning to those who wear it! It is a symbol of submission and slavery.
“Is this bot a messenger? Was he created simply to carry words from one to the next? Oh no, my friends. I watched him pick up a gun. I saw him shoot. There is a warrior here. One who does not hesitate. Maverick chose for himself as we all have. That is the message we carry today. We started at Fort Scyk and we will continue our march here! The Hydrax Plateau will be ours!”
A resounding cheer bellowed from the crowd and Megatron soaked it in for a moment before holding a hand up. Immediate silence fell.
“I hear the Autobots have a new unit. Ultra Magnus leads a group called The Wreckers and they are here to stop us.” Smirking Megatron chuckled, finally letting go of Maverick. “But the winds favor us! We have marched from the east to meet the commander and his grunts head on and when they realize their mistake, help will not come. Iacon lies on the far side of the sea! Backup will come too late and we shall see who does the wrecking here.”
Another cheer roared up into the air and this time Maverick could feel it in his core. Megatron stood beside him, hands on his hips, grinning out at his army. There was no doubt in his optics, no worry, only zeal.
Yeah, they were going to win this. They were going to win their freedom.
Maverick grinned and slid down the rust coated dune as Megatron began barking out orders, but the war lord pointed at him without taking his eyes off the crowd that was now dispersing into their units. “Not yet Maverick. I have a special mission for you.”
Me? Oh that’s not...the best idea ever. Maverick froze. “Of...of course, Sir.”
A couple minutes later Megatron stepped down and peered around before nodding at someone in the crowd. “Barricade, come here.”
The speedster clapped someone on the back and headed over with a wide grin. “What can I do for-” Spotting Maverick the smile went away. “Oh no, you’re not gonna stick me with the rookie are you?”
“I am.” Megatron said, raising an eyebrow. “You are going to help Maverick upsell a performance.”
Maverick looked between Barricade and Megatron quickly. Both looked dubious of the other.
“Um, I’m not sure I follow.” Barricade was clearly holding back some different choice words that would probably get him shot.
Megatron just smirked and turned to Maverick. He tapped the Autobot symbol that was still leaking energon twice, ignoring Maverick’s grimace. “I kept this on you for a reason. The Autobots are gullible. They’ll fall for any sob story tossed their way and I’m about to put you right at their feet.” Megatron began walking, taking in all the movements of his troops, but he continued talking. Maverick and Barricade exchanged a glance before rushing to follow. “Ultra Magnus will be bringing his new unit to meet us here today and from what I heard they’re cocky about getting an easy victory. What the commander does not know is that I have a man on the inside and you, Maverick, are going to find him and help him take out the Wreckers before they have a chance to get their hands dirty.”
Barricade growled under his breath. “You really think they’re that much of a threat?”
“I do and I don’t.” Megatron turned to Barricade who took two steps back from the imposing form bending over him slightly. “My intel has told me that these soldiers are trained for one very specific purpose and that’s chaos. I will not let the Autobots have that element on their side, that is mine. This war is young, Barricade, very young, and we are pulling ahead. This unit is new, fragile. We’re going to crack their exterior and let them see who they’re really up against.”
Maverick finally spoke up. “Um, how do I fit into this plan?”
“You are going to be playing the most important role here.” Megatron turned from Barricade and gestured north of their position. “My source on the inside tells me the Wreckers and Ultra Magnus are going to try to stop us at the main bridge pass to the port at the easternmost edge of the sea. You are going to go ahead of our main charge and infiltrate their little group.”
Maverick tried his best to keep his face neutral, but Megatron’s smirk told him he was failing miserably. How was he going to do this? He was barely a soldier and as far as he knew he wasn’t much of an actor.
Megatron continued “The Autobots don’t know what happened at the crash site last week. No one that was left behind survived, but if they did a proper inventory they must know that at least one body was missing from the wreck. You,” Megatron once more tapped the Autobot badge. “were taken from the wreckage and tortured for information by us evil Decepticons. In the excitement that followed our first victory you managed to escape and headed for the nearest occupied place you could reach.”
“Won’t that suggest that you’re close by?” Maverick frowned.
“Exactly.” Megatron grinned. “You will have a couple of things you need to do once you’re with them. First, you’re going to let them know we’re marching from the south instead of coming directly from the main eastern road. They won’t believe you, not to your face, but they’ll send reinforcements down there just in case which will divide their small team across two fronts.”
“Then you’ll actually come in from the east?”
“We’re attacking from both sides, but the main force will come up from the south. If we can get through the east first with a smaller unit and put that wrecker team into disarray, it will make the south much easier to take.” Megatron waved a hand through the air dismissing the topic. “You’ll find the man I have on the inside and make sure Ultra Magnus does not have a firm handle on that eastern bridge and when our chaos is at its most ripe,” Megatron turned to Barricade. “You are going to secure the bridge to allow our backup unit into the port and when given the word, take it down.”
Barricade looked less than impressed. “That’s it? I get to blow up the bridge?”
“I can find someone else to do it, Barricade.” Megatron waited until Barricade grumbled, but backed down. “You’re also going to make sure the Autobots believe Maverik’s story. Chase him there.”
This time Barricade grinned and Maverick couldn’t help the shiver that ran up his spinal strut. “Yes. Sir.”
Megatron nodded and turned to walk off, but looked back at the last second. “Don’t kill him, Barricade. Do you understand?”
Maverick’s jaw dropped and Barricade looked genuinely disappointed.
___
Low key have way more from this...whatever it is I was writing... than I remember having. There's a second part including the chase and a part with the Wrecker boys. Anyone interested?
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Hi, idk if you're doing the ask game still but if you are, could we get rebelcaptain for number eight?
Hi, anon, thank you so much for the ask 💜 Confession? I read the prompt wrong a bit wrong and got through this whole thing before realizing it was things you said when you were crying 😬 but I'm going to argue that in this they both cry at points, so I hope you'll forgive me my error (and I really hope you like it!!)
things you said when you were crying
It took all of Cassian’s concentration to command his left foot forward, hands gripping the bars on either side of him so hard it hurt–though not nearly as badly as the rest of him.
Every muscle in his body was on fire, every bone sharply aching.
Not even ten minutes into today’s session of physical therapy and he was drenched in sweat, hair plastered to his forehead, shirt stuck to his chest, the salty taste of it on his lips, stinging his eyes. While he glared down at his feet, a large bead of it–containing all the grace of a raindrop and none of the beauty–dragged down his nose and fell to the floor.
The next step hurt just as bad as the last, and the one after that took twice as long and left him trembling, teeth practically rattling from the effort.
But he was determined, eager to heal. The Rebellion needed him. Already he felt like he’d been away for too long. Months spent in and out of surgery, in and out of consciousness, he refused to let any more time go to waste.
Cassian squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, fighting a wave of exhaustion, pain, and nausea that threatened to drown him; they were sensations he had grappled with more times than not since Scarif, and he had quickly learned that each was tortuous in their one unique way.
“Take a break if you need to, Captain,” the medic told him. “You have a long journey ahead, so pace yourself.”
Screw that. He opened his eyes again and, biting back a shout, forced his foot forward again.
But the toe of his shoe slid in a pool of sweat–all of his own making–sending his leg sliding out from under him. He tried to catch himself with his arms–to brace his weight on the bars framing either side of him–but his palms were too slick, making his grip precarious, and he crashed to the floor, the intense agony of his injuries hitting him all over again.
“FUCK!” he shouted, because what else was there to say when you could remember taking down stormtroopers without so much as a blink and now a single step had turned you into a humiliated tangle of limbs, sprawled across the ground.
Fighting for breath, he used what little energy he had remaining to reach up to the bar above his head and pull himself upright, clumsily positioning his back against the wall.
But following that act, he had nothing left with which to defend himself against the frustration, the hurt, the fear that fell upon him, predators on wounded prey–devouring, consuming–until he’d forgotten himself entirely and all he knew was the dark wash of anguish tearing him to shreds from the inside out.
“Cassian, Cassian.” A hand caught his own midair, preventing him from smashing the floor with his fist again.
The touch grounded him, bringing reality surging back to his frayed mind–he found himself wishing it had left him alone.
No…not now. He didn’t want her to see him like this. Couldn’t bear the look of disappointment he expected to find on her face. “Jyn…” He caught her knees on the floor beside him out of the corner of his vision, made himself look up at her, her image swimming before him.
“Let me–”
“What the hell are you doing here?” He tore his arm free from her hand.
“I came to check on you, I wanted to–”
Cassian did all he could to turn away from her. “Don’t,” he said sharply, loathing the tears that were cutting lines down his cheeks.
Before Scarif he had been better than this at controlling his emotions, hiding them from others, but the regiment of medications he was on created a fog so thick he discovered his own thoughts betraying him all the time. If it wasn’t his short-term memory in shambles, it was his temper–forcing everything to be felt with a heightened sensitivity. The perfect storm of conditions under which he was dealing with perhaps the greatest challenge of his life.
It was hell.
“Will you please look at me?”
“Leave, Jyn. You don’t have to be here, this isn’t your problem. Leave.” His head fell back against the wall and he watched as Jyn’s face darkened, her fingers curling into tight fists where they rested over her thighs.
“Is that what you really want?” she asked quietly, fixing him with a hard stare.
No… A strand of her dark hair was hanging across her face and he wanted to push it back–maybe would have if he’d possessed the strength to do so. Force, her eyes were beautiful.
He was on the floor crying from pain and exhaustion; what must she think of him? Weak, pathetic.Yes, yes I want you to leave…
But she wasn’t looking at him like that, no, he wasn’t quite sure what her expression was saying, but it wasn’t that. I don’t know…
“What if I told you I’m not going anywhere?” Jyn murmured, reaching a hand tentatively towards his face, wiping a tear from his cheek with surprising gentleness. She caught his eyes again, still waiting to see if he would offer a reply.
“I’d say it’s just like you not to listen,” he finally sighed.
“It does sound like me doesn’t it?” she teased, lips briefly twitching upward. But her voice was serious, expression intent, when she said, “Cassian, why are you asking me to leave?”
I don’t deserve this… I don’t deserve you… At his best he’d been a mess–so used to playing whatever part the Rebellion needed that he’d half-forgotten himself–what could he possibly offer her or anyone else now? It wasn’t clear yet if he’d ever be able to walk well again, much less run or fight. He would only slow her down, burden her–and Jyn had carried enough in her life as it was without adding his weight to the equation.
But Cassian didn’t know how to put those thoughts into words–or maybe it was that his voice was betraying him as much as he felt his body was–so he just shook his head, looked across the room to where the medic was standing in the distance, awkwardly trying their best not to encroach despite the need to hover.
“I’ve pushed people away before,” Jyn said softly, pulling his gaze back to her face. “Usually when I needed them most… I did it before they could do it to me, because I thought that’s how it always went, that there was no other way that life could go.” Her hand returned to the side of his face, thumb gently brushing over his cheek. “But it’s not like that with you… I said horrible things to you on Eaudu, but afterwards, when I needed you, there you were.”
“This isn’t like that,” Cassian murmured.
“Isn’t it?”
“You can’t help me with this, I might not get better. And then what?” his voice broke on the question, the first time he’d dared to voice the possibility aloud. If he considered the notion for too long he thought it might take life, form the shape of a black hole, a yawning void that would threaten to swallow him alive. Where would I go? What would I do? What now?
Jyn blinked at him. “You think that’s a reason for me to abandon you?”
“I’m not the person I was–I might never be again.”
“Neither am I,” she replied fiercely. “Neither is Chirrut or Baze or Bodhi–any of us. How can we be? After everything we went through? And besides, it’s not the first time any of us have changed–I know you know that. ” He opened his mouth to speak but she held up her hand. “No, listen. I know you’re going to say it’s not the same, and you’re right, it’s not. This is a big change, a hard change. None of it was your choice, and I can’t even begin to understand what you’re going through.
“But if you’re trying to tell me that your ability to ‘get better’ is what determines your worthiness? I’m going to…” she took a deep breath, “to have to fight very hard not to strangle you, because whether or not you know this right now, you're worthy no matter what happens next.
“However you have to show up each day, however you’re feeling, the good, the bad, I’m with you. Same as…same as I know you’d be for me.” She cleared her throat, blinked back a watery shine that had fallen over her eyes. “Okay?”
He leaned his head into her palm. “Okay,” he breathed, because even though he knew he might not believe it tomorrow, he believed it for the moment–and he had a feeling if and when he changed his mind, Jyn would do all she could to bring that belief back.
She wiped her tears from her eyes and offered her hands to him, “Can I help you?”
It still wasn’t easy. He still felt some embarrassment, he still held anger and frustration for it all. He still hurt…
But together, they slowly rose to their feet.
#rebelcaptain#rebelcaptain fanfic#b writes#ask b anything#jyn x cassian#this one is long enough im just tagging it as a fic buuut i did write in a drabble mindset#i hope i did this alright tried to draw from my own experience but i know it is a tricky subject#and one in which perspectives and experiences are almost all unique to individuals#okay here goes nothing
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i feel so high school every time i look at you | zammy
TAGGING: @corimmy @zachwilde @brinleymenkins
LOCATION: immy's house.
TIMEFRAME: 10/18, early evening.
WARNINGS: lots of fluff.
NOTES: zach and immy finally reunite after the lockdown! things start to get steamy but malea and brinley interrupt them. oh, and they become #official!!!
Immy
This has been one of the longest weeks of her life, she was sure of that. And as much as she wanted to just curl up in bed with Malea and feel safe, she was dying to spend time with her aunties after having missed them all week. It was almost impossible for Immy to drive away after bringing Malea to Brinley, making her younger sister to bring her home in no more than two hours. Her eyes were sore from tears by the time she got home, not sure what to even do with herself, and worried to see if her house was still even standing. Pulling in her driveway, all looked normal from the outside, untils he walked to the front door and saw someone standing there. Fear gripped her for a second, until she saw the face staring back at her. "Oh my God, Zach. Thank God you're okay." She breathed, her feet carrying her to them before her brain even caught up. Her arms wrapped around them, throwing herself into their body as she crashed her lips into his at the same time. "I can't do this ever again. I can't lose you ever again, Zach."
Zach
The first thing Zach (after stopping at his place to hug Gabe, take a shower and pop some Xanax) by his house to did was make his way over to Immy's house. The whole week had been terrible, and it got worse day by day - hour by hour. After the first text of Immy's where she told him she loved him, Zach needed to be with her. Their anxiety had gotten worse with each passing moment. Now medicated and at Immy's house, Zach was feeling exponentially better. As soon as they saw the car in the driveway, their heart started pounding. He ran up to Immy and took her in his arms, holding her and kissing her immediately. "I know," he breathed, feeling his eyes prickle with tears. It had been a hard week, and all he had wanted was to be with Immy. He cupped her face with both hands on either side to really look at her. Zach had nothing but admiration in his eyes. She was so beautiful - he would never get over it. Tears spilled down his cheek, and he kissed her again. "I love you, baby," Zach murmured, pulling back to look at her again. "I'm sorry I didn't say it when you did. I wanted it to be like this."
Immy
She was worried she'd gone too far by telling them she loved them. She certainly didn't want to say it over text for the first time, but she was so anxious being away from him, and she couldn't stop herself, and then cell service had gone back out and she couldn't take it back. Not that she would have, but she could have said something else. And then the rest of the week had gone by, cell service had come and gone, but they hadn't said it back and she was terrified she'd freaked them out. Still, despite her nerves, it didn't stop her from running to him before she had the chance to stop herself and think. But then Zach was running to her, too, and holding her and kissing her again and everything felt so right again. "It's okay, it's okay." She whispered when he apologized, tears streaming down her face now, half from relief, half from joy that they had said it back. "I love you. I love you so much. I can't go another day without you. I don't want to freak you out, but I need you so badly, I just need to never wake up away from you ever again."
Zach
Seeing Immy cry made Zach cry even more, and the two of them were standing there, crying over one another. It was such a special moment to Zach, however, to just prove how much they loved each other even after all of this time. They smiled when Immy said don't freak out. "You think I'm going to let you out of my sight anytime soon?" They asked her, brows furrowed, serious look on their face. "I was already planning on staying the night here, whether you liked it or not. I need to hold you all night and feel that you're actually here." Finally, it hit Zach. He looked around and noticed there wasn't a four year old attaching herself to his leg. "Where's Malea?" His eyes went big. "She's okay, right?"
Immy
She burried her head in their chest, laughing when he said he was planning on staying the night, she couldn't imagine anything feeling better than being held by the person she loved after one of the worst weeks of her life. She pulled away to meet his eyes when he asked about Malea, shaking her head quickly, "God, yeah. She's fine. She's completely fine. She was just so bored all week, she insisted on hanging out with someone cooler than me for a little bit, so she's with Brinley, but they should be here in half an hour or so." As much as it pained her, she pulled away from them, but kept hold of their hand and lead them to the front door. She needed ot make sure the house was okay, and didn't want to stand outside anymore. Pushing into the house, she let out a sigh of relief when she saw that everything seemed to be in place, not even a broken glass to be found. "I need you to kiss me some more, okay?" She said, sinking down on the couch.
Zach
Zach followed Immy into the house, immediately looking around to make sure the house was intact. The earthquake had been bad enough for a lockdown, but thankfully not bad enough to ruin his and Gabe's apartment or Immy's house. Zach moved around, making there were no cracks anywhere important. He turned his attention to Immy immediately when she said that she needed more kisses. "Say less, beautiful." He grinned and sat on the couch right next to her. Zach tugged her close to them, immediately pressing their lips against hers. Their lips moved along hers, and they sighed into the kiss. All Zach had thought about was this, right here. Being with Immy exactly like this. He pulled away, peppering kisses along her jawline and then down to her neck. Zach was obsessed, and god, they had missed her. They wanted to kiss her all over, for as long as possible. They thread their fingers into Immy's hair, pulling her closer.
Immy
Immy let out a shaky breath as she felt their lips against her jaw and then neck, letting her head fall back to give him more room. She let her own hands wander over their chest, taking in every curve, and committing it to memory. Immy lifted herself up, swinging one leg over so she was on their lap. The fact that she'd waited and wondered and maybe even fantasized about what it would be like to have sex with Zach, and then when she finally found out how much better it was than she ever could have imagined, there was a literal earthquake that kept them apart for an entire week. It almost made her afraid to do it again, but she couldn't help herself. As much as she'd missed them this week, she'd also craved them. "Tell me if this is too much," She said, pulling away for just a second before plowing her lips back into theirs. She knew Malea would be home soon, but she needed as much time with Zach as close as she could possibly get to them.
Zach
Zach let out a groan when Immy straddled him. His hands immediately went to her hips, and when he kissed her, he couldn't help but gently bite her lower lip. God, he wanted her so bad. "It's more than okay," he answered, his voice rough. He slid his hands underneath her shirt, fingertips running against her stomach. He wanted so much with her, to show Immy exactly how okay this was. Zach felt himself growing hard, and he could tell that Immy was feeling the exact same way. He was about to take off her shirt when he heard the front door swing open. "Zach's here! Look Brinley, Zach's here!" Zach heard a familiar voice yell, and they couldn't help but laugh. They slowly lifted Immy off of their lap, locking eyes with her, smiling. "Later," they mouthed, and then turned towards Malea and Brinley. "Malea the Magnificent!" They pushed themselves off of the couch, letting Malea run and give him a bug hug. All of a sudden he felt emotional, having been worried about the girl all week long. "I heard you were so brave this last week. That's awesome."
Brinley
As soon as Brinley entered Immy's place with Malea, she noticed her older sister straddled on.. with, of course, Zach Wilde. She covered her mouth with her hand, giggling. They seemed to be enjoying themselves. She smiled when she saw how Zach greeted her. This was a good one, she'd decided. She definitely approved of Zach. "Bye, Malea! Love you so much my little munchkin!" She gave Zach and Immy a knowing look. "Okay you two crazy kids, I'm gonna get out of your way. Love you Immy. Have fun tonight!" She winked at her sister, laughing to herself as she closed the door behind her.
Immy
Immy groaned in slight frustration when she heard the door open, pulling away to rest her forehead against Zach's before the moved her from their lap. At least there was a promise of more to come, but she was so stressed this whole week, and could have used the release. But still, she grinned when she saw how excited Zach and Malea were to see each other. The idea that this could be something all three of them could get used to made her heart race. She grinned at Brinley, sticking her tongue out playfully and shaking her head, "Love you, Brin. Thanks for taking care of our girl." Immy sighed, pushing herself up from the couch. "I'm sure all of this food needs to be thrown out, since we probably didn't have power all week, but how about we order some food?" She said, looking to the other two expectantly. "Then maybe we can all snuggle and watch a movie?"
Zach
Zach put Malea down, and she immediately jumped up and down excitedly at the idea of snuggling and watching a movie. "Oh, wait! I'm gonna go get some toys to snuggle with us!" And like that, Malea was gone with a lightning speed. Zach loved her so much already - he didn't know how to explain it either. Zach walked up to Immy and took her hands in their own. "While she's getting us some more friends to snuggle, I just want to say I love her. And you. Like you said.. I don't want to spend another second without you." They leaned forward to kiss Immy. "Be mine. Officially. There's nothing in the world that would make me feel luckier than being able to call you mine." Zach gave her a soft smile. "What do you say, babe?"
Immy
Hearing Zach say he loved Malea made her feel like she could absolutely burst with joy. Malea was so easy to love, it didn't really surprise her, and yet, her own father didn't even seem to care she existed, but here was Zach, who had loved her from the moment they'd first laid eyes on her, even if they hadn't come out and said it. Immy kissed him back, a wide smile forming on her lips. "Like your girlfriend?" She asked, "Aren't we moving a little fast?" She teased, before pulling them in for another kiss, a bit longer this time, "I think I've always been yours, Zach. So, yes. As long as that means I get to call you mine, too. And as long as you think Han won't mind sharing you."
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Jst a little story since i was listening to a song and it makes me wanna write smth:D, the song — Here.
“Let me help you!”
Oc X Reader. = haven’t even gave the oc a name… [ZERO. HEHEHE]
Reader is the villian!! [i’ll make a one where reader is a hero if yall want:D]
Tw ; Angst! Reader dies from fucking falling off a cliff—, CUSSING (ofc..) 0 ideas about how zero looks like, please send help. Small stuff about blood!
“Im just trying to help you! Let me help you!..”
Zero yelled as he tried to grab your hand. You were his enemy.. well.. frienemy if you think about outside the suit. He panted a little as he looked at you, worried..
“You are not my hero.. You don’t know how it felt.”
You muttered out, a bit soft as you both were fighting before the floor of the building collapsed.. probably was because of you two. Zero had wounded you, very badly. You could see your own blood seeking through your suit, you are amazing at fighting but of course.. he was always fucking better, wasn’t he? It’s always so fucking stupid. He was always fucking better at everything you tried to do, he always did the same thing and yet you always came out third, last, fourth. It was like he put on a curse on you and that curse was to see you fail.
“What else could i do with the cards i’ve been dealt?”
Zero looked at you shocked as he heard that coming from your lips.. He tried pulling you back up, even if he knew that you were a villain- you still needed to live, you could have a normal life. Zero looked at you with pleading eyes instead of just worry in them, you could be saved in his eyes.. You always wondered how you could tell it was your childhood friend in that suit when he couldn’t even tell it was you in this suit. Maybe it just proves he wants to be better at everything than someone else and he just happened to pick you out of all people.
“You aren’t the villain! You once held my hand!”
Right as Zero said that.. everything came crashing down. That’s a funny way to say that he let go of your hand, you didn’t seem bothered. You didn’t even care, not anymore. You were smiling, after everything you get to be free.. free to be whoever you want and not have someone be better. You can be alone, happy, and it’ll be freeing.. quiet.. and peaceful. That was with you as you were falling down but with Zero. He was tearing up, he couldn’t fucking believe he just realized that you were that villain. That villain who always fought him, that villain who ranted about how they became this way… His own fucking crush. How could he just let you go down that path?..
Zero tried wiping his tears and yelling out to you, but it was already too late. He was too fucking late.. He looked down to see anything, just anything. Maybe your body or just someone helping you.. but no one was around your body, no one. No one helping you, But everyone was around. They were just fucking cheering. Zero immediately went down, he ran to your body. Taking off your mask immediately when he got to your body.. His eyes blurry from the fucking tears threatening coming out already, he covered your face with his hand as he kneel down.
Zero had your body in his arms as he pulled you up to cry into your chest, you were just a teenager. Fighting, fighting him.. he felt like absolute shit. You didn’t deserve this at fucking all. You didn’t deserve to become a hated villain, you didn’t deserve to die at such a young age.. Zero could feel everyone’s eyes on him, all confused as they thought you were nothing special. Maybe you were in their eyes but how would your parents find out? How would your own parents find out that their child.. their own child died. While fighting a hero, how their child was the villain, and they died.
Stand up.
Get out, sometimes things don’t go as planned.
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Bro i need help bc i absolutely giggled while writing that last part.. BUT ITS FUN TO WRITE ANGST BRO… even if its short- my mind can’t think of anything else rn. Probably you two backstory is out next or next case—… Eh! Idk! Bleh…
Akira… Akira Logging.. Logging off! Goodbye!
#akiraiscute#akira’s short stories#x reader#oc#oc x reader#angst#villain reader#hero oc#small story#frenemies#hero x villain#childhood friends
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27, 42, and 45 for daea and beryl :)
questions list also thank u!!!
27. When was the last time they cried?
Daea: I imagine they're not a big crier for sad times. They laugh to the point of tears easily, and when they're badly injured as well (hasn't happened that often, but Warden life, yknow?). Apart from that, the last time they cried, before canon, was when they found a trinket from a friend named Julianus who had gone on his Calling already. Daea went with him to the Deep Roads' entrance and didn't cry when saying goodbye, they didn't cry for the weeks or months after, but they were looking for something else, found a bookmark he'd made for them - taken pains to add dalish embroidery - and just broke down in their room. In canon events I think the moment that would really bring them to tears is the Fade prison - just everything actually crashing down on them finally, with the Varric reveal.
Beryl: she cries when reading stories or historical accounts that are particularly poignant. She also is pretty empathetic and if someone cries in front of her she'll be struggling with tears immediately too. I imagine she'll have come across some pretty miserable stories of people as she helped Varric and Harding look for Solas, and would have cried then, but if not, she read the Tale of the Champion and ugly-cried through all of the act ends. Then she asked Varric if it was all true and he said some empty words that answered nothing.
42. Something Rook regrets:
Daea: they carry a lot of regrets as part of them I think. They regret the years they spent at odds with their father, while still living in the clan, before having to join the Wardens changed that relationship for the better - not that it was their fault, but they wish it had been different. There's also a lot of regrets in their work as Warden - people they couldn't save, friends who got hurt for them, stuff like that. I don't think they have huge regrets though - they can't afford to. They used to get very hung up on things, like dig their heels in about moving on, but after being a Warden for a while, they realized that they just didn't have the time to fixate on things. You do the best you can in the moment and you own it; if you're hesitating about doing something, do it or accept that you won't, and move on.
Actually writing this I realized: they regret joining the Wardens. It wasn't their choice, they didn't have another option because they were tainted, but it was life changing and they missed everything they knew immediately. Of course they know it's colored by nostalgia, and they remember it wasn't all great - aforementioned constant conflict with their father, humans being suspicious, food not always easily found (their clan travelled the Anderfels for a while and it's rough there), but there is always a part of them that wants to go back. Maybe it's /because/ they didn't have a choice. They don't admit it easily, even to themself.
Beryl: she sometimes regrets throwing herself so wholeheartedly into the Mourn Watch. It's been exciting and fullfilling and she loves it, but she feels like she has such a multitude of possibilities in her, and what if she had tried another path? What if she tried it /now/? But ultimately she never makes the jump, out of a variety of fears but also being happy where she is! She also feels some shame about it; is she disrespecting her friends and family by wishing this? And isn't she being a coward by never trying? I think after canon it's less present, but the spirit that gave her birth was, like Manfred, one of curiosity, and it always pulls her into wondering at the road untravelled, and she has that awareness that she /could/ have tried and didn't.
45. Who was Rook’s closest friend before joining the Veilguard?
Daea: hmmm I don't know if they had any /close/ friends apart from Julianus. He was a Tevinter soporati who'd joined the Wardens just a little before them and was bunking with them, so they spent a lot of time together as novices. He was about fifteen years older but they got on like a house on fire, and had that like, instant understanding of each other, even with their very different backgrounds. They teased each other a lot and were a great team in combat. His Calling came as a shock to both of them, but he accepted it more easily than they did. That happened a couple years before DAVG. Daea still has friends amongst the Wardens, but no one as close. I think Varric reminds them a little of him, actually.
Beryl: about ten years before DAVG, circa when the Breach appeared and fucked up the Veil, Beryl was working in a crypt for minor members of the early second Pentaghast dynasty. Distant relatives were visiting when a rift opened and several demons poured through, some of them fighting the spirits already in the bodies for their place. Beryl tried to hastily evacuate, but some people just couldn't run fast enough, and she ended up having to hold off demons alone for hours while waiting for help - which did come, eventually, and only a couple of people got injured. One of the visitors, Baronness Adriana [twelve other names] Pentaghast, hundred-and-fiftieth in line for the throne, was so grateful (and a little infatuated) that she came by a few days later to thank her. Beryl had no idea how to handle this, having had at that point relatively limited interactions with people outside of the order, and never one-on-one, but fumbled her way into a relationship with Adriana. It was relatively short-lived, both of them having no idea what they were doing, but they came out of it close friends and make time each month to see each other for an afternoon, usually having tea at Adriana's house or somewhere in Nevarra City. Beryl misses her a lot while travelling and in the Lighthouse! They write but it's not quite the same, and I think when she goes to the Necropolis for the first time in the game, she immediately writes to Adriana to meet her after, and they spend a looong time catching up.
#asks#dragon age#davg#davg spoilers#thank u so much for asking! ur right these questions are rly good they rly get u to think it's really fun
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Kansas - Carry on Wayward Son (Official Video)
youtube
And our son here my son that is the saying this computer is a pain in the ass he says you're a pain in the ass you blabbing all this s*** and he said it's not me and someone else and he said oh yeah I guess so he says this personal responsibility and your responsible and then he didn't say anything and my son here said maybe it's a redhead then oh your hair is red and so the guy started laughing and laughing and the whole thing is like not a joke at all and doesn't seem like him it's Clancy Brown who hurt it and said oh s*** and he is military guy and sent himself the message and yeah he's got some red hair and okay my son is singing a song Rudolph the red-haired reindeer had some really red hair Rudolph with you guys Rudolph giuliani's sleigh tonight and he says no. Well those are some lines right there and that was Clancy Brown but really my son is off the reservation and I got bad news and Clancy Brown wants to hear it I'll say it like this the whole down there might go to Antarctica but it also went near the ship which he may have taken the whole thing and it went to your mind there's a whole up there and no it's not John Gallagher and it's near salt lake City and it's not really that huge we thought it was a geyser it's about 5 miles across and mine is not really huge but he dismantled it I have a personal grudge against him he's messing with my other son really badly he hadn't punched Jeff malhewish he showed up at Schwarzenegger and his helicopter and he's not Schwarzenegger and I'm so tired of that a****** he was such a dick now he has other people doing it and his Androids and man he's disgusting it looks like he's screwing around with the Max and we're not sure and he's he's in the tomb and even if it's his people doing it too he's doing all the stuff and introducing him to it all and he's it's worse so they're fighting and the guy won't shut up I feel really bad and I feel it's possibly my fault and he says no people are encouraging to make the tech they're encouraging Dave to go too far but it looks like he went extremely far and I do understand that and he can become massive and they did not believe it now there's a song and it's the birds and it's 8 Miles high and what you're saying is he was 800 miles high or a thousand and it may have made a depression 8 mi down and that's what I was thinking and BJ said it too did these huge lakes or something in South America and we have to go look at that and in the survey plane crashed and it became a movie probably just keeps happening but they would be probably about 20 or 30 miles long so I'm wondering what those might be
Camilla
It's about force and distribution of the load he makes his shoes no his feet are huge they're like 40 miles wide and about 80 miles long and the depressions are only a few miles and he fills them in as he goes it's something happened and he had to leave we think it was his wife. He threatened his father with depression so it may have been him and what's 8 Miles high might be a pile of the dirt then he left there that would make it about 40,000 ft high and although Everest is taller it's on a plateau it's about 20,000 ft and the mountain itself is 30,000 ft technically that pile of dirt is higher than Everest and it came up today because people knew about it no it's because of what we're talking about and 8 miles is nothing to sneeze at and he tried to spread the dirt out and couldn't do it and yeah it was his wife with a blaster
And she's the one who made the hole
Thor Freya
You know children with guns
Zues hahaha Hera
He's a grown ups are crying out loud just cuz he's your brother doesn't mean he's a child for Christ's sake this is a weird show already a weirdo says I can get bigger than him yeah we don't want to see that
Mac Daddy is Betty over and I'm New York or something he wants a hot dog that's 2 mi long had enough of this stupid s*** you better not be the dumbass song
Olympus
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Sunshine Boys Ch 3
It was after school, the time all the students crowd the parking lot trying to get home as soon as possible. Crowded hallways, sidewalks, streets full of parents and students on their way back home. But for Marinette this wasn't the case, she was going to hang out with Alya after considering the interruption they had at lunch with dumb and dumber.
She rushed to her car getting in before Adrien of Felix could talk to her. (Not like they would because Adrien got detention and Felix was called into the office after a teacher found out about their fight in the hallway.) She was happy to not be dealing with those jerks for at least the rest of the day. But, her streak of back luck wasn't over yet soon after she started the engine someone knocked on her window. Felix smiled brightly at her but she didn't even look at him more than the glance she gave him before she pulled out of the parking lot and left for Alya's.
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"He really can't take a hint can he?"
"That's what I thought! It's the first day and I am already so over this school."
"Girl they sound like the worse."
"Trust me, they are."
Alya pulled Marinette into a side hug, grabbing the bucket of popcorn that was in between them. Un pausing "Barbie Life in the Dreamhouse" They knew very well that that show was for younger kids but they were still kids at heart and watched it anyways for funzies.
"You know what's kind of weird"
"What"
"If we never got put in 9th grade together we would be friend today"
"That and if Luka had never come to our school."
"Luka.........How is he? He nevers talks to me these days."
"He hasn't been doing well mentally you know ever since his mother passed away in a crash a few months back."
Marinette froze. How could she not have known this? How has nobody told her anything?
"I never knew that..." "Omg you didn't know?! Luka has been really out of it since he got the news maybe you should talk to him?"
" What would I even say to him, I have never lost a parent nor been in anything close to his situation."
"I don't know but I think you should possibly reconnect with him. You know how he is more comfortable with you than anyone else and you just being there might cheer him up a bit. You know how he is with you."
"Maybe I should ask him to lunch tomorrow he still lives somewhat close by right, I don't want to be a bather if it's too far for him."
"Marinette you know very well that he would travel to the moon and back to talk to you. And yeah he is actually doing some work at a 16 and up club for a gig maybe you could talk to him there I think it's tonight i'm not too sure though."
"It's worth the shot. What's the name of the place?"
"Miraculous wonders I think. The owners Plagg and Tikki are friends with Nino so I have been invited there a few times."
"Miraculous wonders, isn't that a little weird for a clubs name?"
"I don't see what's wrong with it but it's nothing compared to the American club names."
"You're right on that one Al. Oh Luka is playing tonight until......about 3 in the morning dang"
"We should go maybe you could you know loosen up a little"
Alya rubbed her shoulder against Marinette and grinned. Marinette jokingly rolled her eyes and pushed Alya away. The two girls bursted out in fits of giggles until their sides hurt.
"Alya you know I don't drink."
"But you can." Alya brought out the n teasing her.
"You know how badly that went last time with your parents finding me passed out on the bathroom floor. My parents flipped so thank you but no thank you."
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Luka was tuning his guitar backstage while the rest of Kitty Section was setting up the drum set, mics for background vocals, and amps for each of the 2 guitars. Lifting the guitar over his shoulder he walked up on the clubs stage and sat down on one of the stools in front of the mic.
"Bonsoir everyone hope y'all enjoy the show! To start off the night we are playing Last First Kiss. " (This is not a song fic I swear )
Luka: Baby I, I wanna know What you think when you're alone Is it me yeah? Are you thinking of me yeah? We've been friends now for a while I wanna know that when you smile Is it me yeah? Are you thinking of me yeah? Oh, oh. Girl what would you do, would you wanna stay If I were to say I wanna be last, yeah Baby let me be your Let me be your last first kiss I wanna be first, yeah Wanna be the first to take it all the way like this And if you Only knew I wanna be last, yeah Baby let me be your last Your last first kiss
Ivan: Baby tell me would it change I'm afraid you'll run away If I tell you what I've wanted to tell you (yeah) Maybe I've just gotta wait Maybe this is a mistake I'm a fool yeah Maybe I'm just a fool yeah (oh, oh)
Luka: Girl what would you do, would you wanna stay If I were to say
All: I wanna be last, yeah Baby let me be your Let me be your last first kiss I wanna be first, yeah Wanna be the first to take it all the way like this And if you Only knew I wanna be last yeah Baby let me be your last Your last first kiss (your last first kiss) Your last first kiss (your last first kiss)
Luka: Girl what would you do, would you wanna stay If I were to say Your last first kiss [All:] I wanna be last, yeah Baby let me be your Let me be your last first kiss I wanna be first, yeah Wanna be the first to take it all the way like this And if you Only knew I wanna be last, yeah Baby let me be your last Your last first kiss I wanna be last, yeah Baby let me be your last Your last first kiss
Ivan: Ohhh I wanna be last, yeah Baby let me be your last Your last first kiss
The door to the club opened with ringing of a bell catching Luka's attention. Luka froze, it was Marinette he could barely recognize her but it was her. Same blue hair and those eyes that he fell in love with went they first met.
Marinette and Alya went over to the drink counter and orders a sprite (or at least Marinette did Alya not so much) When the bartender gave them their drinks they sat at one of the booths against the wall, (For safety reasons of course they didn't sit with their backs to the crowd of people). Marinette's gaze met his, Luka smiled at her before Ivan started playing the next song and Luka looked away.
Time seemed to slow down not only for Marinette but also for Luka. They hadn't left on good terms when they had broken up and that still took a toll on their friendship but Luka had gotten over the break up and moved on much to Marinette's delite. She liked hanging out with Luka but ever since they broke up things have been strange, but she still feels comfortable around him and he feels the same way about her.
The rest of the set list was about 5 songs one named "Kiwi" and another named "Cherry" . Luka was occasionally glance at Marinette from the stage even meeting her gaze as well at times. It felt nice to see her again, he felt as if he was free in a way when he was with him and or being in the same room as him.
He felt at ease. Marinette however.........was the complete opposite.
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I tried to be good, but I end up looping back here, when does it end?
I'm not sure, I'm not certain about anything at the moment...
If you want me to just go, I'll just go, you're making very clear I have nothing else to offer, I'm just another lowly being that just ended up being lucky to maybe unlucky...
Hell... There's no appreciation felt either...
Fucking cato friend shows more appreciation... But he's not you...
And you're not him...
You're amazing...
I wish to talk with you about how I feel...
But I already know I'm just going to end up in the wrong somehow...
So I just stay shut, just take and hold out until I "Crash this hard"
I'll never forget those words...
All I want is your company... But I don't feel that here...
I pretty much have given up more and more on myself...
I hold on because of you...
But because you're not here, I don't feel I matter anymore, maybe I did at some point, but now...
I'm just there... You got what you wanted, you got your life back, it didn't matter what it costed you, but you did it, I hope you're happy...
I love you...
... But this isn't what I want to go through on a regular basis...
Please...
Don't let me die...
Please...
I'm sorry...
If you told me to go...
I'm sorry...
I probably disappointed you...
So it's probably for the better...
Enjoy life Azzy, I don't feel up for it anymore...
You're pretty strong... And I'm just... Breaking down on a regular basis... Just go ...
I'm not enough, I will never be enough... I tried fighting, I tried making changes...
I don't see anything I do working out...
I'm always looping back to state of depression...
Your presence means so much to me...
But being in the quiet does get the better of me...
I hate how badly this has gotten...
Please just kill it...
Just let me die...
Sorry... I'm sorry for not being up to what you want...
Or just not being like you enough...
I'm sorry if I ever wasted your time...
I honestly tried a few things, but I don't think you liked them much...
I have been holding on to hope for so long that it's been turning into a false hope...
Just a hope to keep me going... But at the end of the day... It's just me... Throughout the day...
I would like to just hear what you have to say, but you don't have much to say...
All that I say, just ends...
Sometimes thoughts get skipped over...
It would be nice if you called... At least for a bit...
Please... I just want it to stop...
Just guillotine me, relieve me of my pains... I'll greatly appreciate you to death if you did...
Azzy... I'm sorry...
For being a fool...
I don't even know your true name...
I don't know what to feel right now...
Sadness, hate, my own loneliness, rejection, regret... Fury?
What do I want to feel... I'm just a mess at this point...
Instead of feeling better... I just feel worse...
Am I happy...
That's a good question... I'm never happy for long...
And yeah, at the end of the day it's just me, just... Me...
I reflect on the messages I was given without asking for them...
Lies I think...
I think about the times we played... But anyone can play with me...
What am I after at the end of the day... I have no idea what drew me to you... I spend time thinking on it still, learning maybe... You know so much more then me...
I've lived my life inside a cage, and now that I'm older, I still live in a cage...
When does it end... Where am I even going... Where is any of this going...
What good is being in the present and living a moment if there is no you to begin trying to have a moment...
Memories... Right... Just illusions at this point...
Pathetic... I can remember the bad, but never the good, I really am the worst... So yeah...just go, leave me be... I don't matter... I only mattered because I was probably one of the few who really wanted to help you here...
Eventually ended up falling for you somehow...
You're a mystery and I love it...
May your hopes, may your dreams come together, may you continue to have a lingering will that will fight on through life...
My will is just steadily declining, my own mind likes to dominate me with thoughts that shouldn't be thought up...
I hate it...
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry...
I'm sorry...
Let me die...
Just put my head in a little basket...
Just toss me off somewhere...
I want to get destroyed by you...
Stop...
You're not in control...
I know... Just let me die...
Thank you Azzy, for everything...
I'm sorry for being what I am... For what I became, for just giving up on myself... Nothing can ever come close to ever reigniting a flame ... I felt you were the one...
But I ... Must have been very, very wrong...
I'm always wrong...
I'm tired... Just kill me...
There is no hope... Just let me be forgotten...
Sorry... I'll just sleep ...
Does any of this matter? Do any of my thoughts matter? Do I matter?
Just put it down...
Sleep...
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Vi was staying. That was more comforting than it should've been. He knew better, and he knew tomorrow when he was alone again, this whole night would come crashing down on top of him. The house would feel emptier, and any meaning he'd found would go walking out the door. "Thank you," he said softly, closing his eyes while they rested together. When Vi took his hand, he followed, comforted further by warm water and the closeness Vi offered him. He watched Vi take the soap and wanted to tell him that he didn't have to do that for him, but the moment those hands were on him, he couldn't bring himself to. He wanted his touch so badly that he couldn't stand it, and here Vi was offering freely.
He found the time to just breathe. The sound of the water and Vi's chest against his own drowned out everything else, left him only with the quiet ache of being alive and the deep comfort of the fact that he wasn't alone. He wrapped his arms around him, too, just to keep him close, and the water made it easier to hide the fact that his eyes had welled up again. He squeezed them shut and breathed to calm himself until Vi spoke.
Pulling back to look at him, his gaze softened. Did that mean he was in pain? He wanted to ask and he didn't want to push. Vi had already given him so many details of himself that he feared taking more. Instead he simply nodded, then moved to return what Vi had done for him. He poured the soap into his hands and gently started to scrub Vi down, moving slowly over his shoulders and his chest. The act was ti admire as much as it was just to clean him; he watched his hands as they moved over the planes on Vi's body, memorizing every dip and curve and hoping the moment would stick with him even once Vi had gone. He knelt when he started to move down his thighs, taking care as his fingers moved over old scars. He finished up and pressed a kiss to his thigh before he stood again, then offered a small smile. He was easily more comfortable now than he'd been moments ago- that feeling he'd felt at the fair had started to seep back in. Everything was alright, at least for now.
He shut off the water and stepped out, offering Vi his hand as he did so. When he retrieved towels for them, he went to Vi first and reached up to dry his hair, a grin beginning to tug at his lips. Vi really was beautiful- it was hard not to think it every time he looked at him. "..Y'know," he started quietly, moving on from Vi's hair to continue drying him off, his hands as gentle as they'd been cleaning him, "Drew, the second oldest, he's, uh.."
He didn't want to think about him, really. It was in question how many years it'd been since they'd last spoken without breaking into a fight- or maybe even how many years since they'd spoken, at this point- but he wanted to give Vi more. Just to hear him speak, if nothing else. "He's a journalist, but he's specifically got this interest in crime. Investigative shit, y'know?" He asked, glancing up at his face. "If he ever found out I'd slept with someone from a family like yours, I'm.. not sure if he'd kill me or ask me to score him an interview."
It'd been three weeks. Nick was tired of him coming home exhausted and heartbroken, but for every shop he crossed off, he was one more closer to finding Charlie-- And this time, he had a good feeling. The last shop he'd been to focused mostly on bodywork, and the owner mentioned a younger guy who occasionally came into do paint work for them. Charlie Reimes was the name he eventually shook out of him. And the description was dead on. Lonely, blonde, a little scruffy-- It had to be him. After getting the address to his setup, there was no reason to wait.
Pulling up outside of the garage, Vi took in a shaky breath and parked. He glanced back towards the road and fought down the anxious bubbling in his stomach, threatening to make him sick. Yanking down the sun visor, he grimaced at himself in the mirror and flipped it back up. He didn't have the time to worry about dark circles. Vico grabbed his cane from the passenger seat and slid out.
If anything was clear, he stuck out. The area was a little outside the more urban parts of the city. It was green and homey and he-- Well. Brushing the wrinkles from the shirt he wore, he peeked at his reflection in the maserati's window and wondered if pink leopard print was too much. He debated for a moment on zippering up his leather jacket and decided it really didn't matter. One hand in his pocket, the other on his cane, he moved toward the open garage doors.
Vi peeked in and hummed, his eyes moving over the tools and parts scattered around the place. After three weeks of bouncing between shop to shop, the metal clutter and thick scent of grease and gas almost felt comfortable. Lifting his cane, he used it to knock on the frame and cleared his throat. "...Anyone around?"
@purposefully-lost
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