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zachwilde · 1 month ago

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And I'm speechless, starin' at you, standin' there, in that dress. || Zammy

WHO: @zachwilde, @corimmy

WHERE: Immy's house

WHEN: The 14th of November

WHY: Immy comes home with a present for Zach, and they have some big talks with Malea

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence.

Immy CortesImmy couldn't even express how proud she was of Zach for the news about his show. It was obvious to anyone who had seen it that it deserved to be made into a show and then some, but she beamed with pride whenever she thought about it, and thought about them. Her partner, her person, her love, and he was so incredible. She'd stopped on her way home from work to buy them a gift, though she didn't know how they'd feel about it. They'd discussed on Halloween how Zach wanted a little black dress, and Immy figured they'd want to pick one out for themselves, but as she drove by a little boutique, she couldn't quite stop herself, deciding that if they wanted to pick out their own, they could have two.

Walking in through the front door, she gave Malea a kiss, then Han a scratch on the head, before taking Zach's hand, "Come with me," She whispered, placing a kiss on their lips as well, before tugging them towards the bedroom. "I have something for you." She said, holding the wrapped box out to them once they were alone. She'd had the lady at the store wrap it in the prettiest gold wrapping paper she'd ever seen, with a giant, and intricate, hand tied bow in light pink ribbon around it. "If you don't like it, that's okay. I just saw it and I couldn't resist and I just wanted to get you something to celebrate you and how amazing you are and your amazing news. And I just-" She cut herself off, kissing him again, "I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you, of your work, and of who you are, and I just hope you know that."

zach wildeZach was thrilled when Immy pulled him into their bedroom, and even more so when she held out a present for him. The wrapping was done beautifully, and he grinned as he took it from her. He was about to ask what he'd done to deserve a present, but then she started talking. Love bloomed in his chest, and he couldn't help the fact that he already felt like crying. Whatever the present may be, he knew he would be crying soon. "Baby.." he smiled, immediately setting it on the bed so he could carefully open it, not wanting to mess up the wrapping at all.

When they finally opened it, they found a black dress inside. Zach gasped, and immediately held it up to look at it. Tears filled their eyes, and they just held it against their chest for a moment. They'd wanted a dress for awhile now, but had just been too afraid to buy one. They also had this fear that Immy wouldn't want to see him in a dress - which was ridiculous but an anxiety of theirs nonetheless. "I don't know what to say," Zach breathed out, laughing happily as tears fell down their cheeks. They wrapped their arms around Immy, holding her close and then kissing her several times. "God, I love you. You're fucking perfect, you know that? I don't deserve you, or this. This is so thoughtful, Im.." They couldn't help their smile as they lifted it up again. "Should I try it on?"

Immy CortesShe watched him, her hand on her face to try to contain her smile. She stepped closer, letting them pull her in before wiping their tears away. “You deserve the world, baby. You deserve everything you’ve ever wanted, and all of the things that you haven’t even thought to want yet. When I said that I’m so proud of you, I mean it. I am so proud of everything single piece of who are, and I am so proud that I get to call you mine, and that you trust me enough to tell me things like how you’ve always wanted a dress.” She sat on the bed in front of them, “I am so in awe of you, or who are you, despite everything. I love you so much.”

She nodded when they asked if they should try it on, “Yeah, I mean I’d be a little offended if you didn’t. But if you don’t like the style or anything, that’s okay! I wasn’t really sure what your style is and I figured if you didn’t like this one we could return it and go together so you can pick out one that you do like. “

zach wildeZach immediately started taking off his clothes, ready to try on the dress already. He couldn't stop grinning as he slipped into the dress, already feeling a sense of euphoria that he couldn't quite explain. It felt good. He let out an excited laugh, but felt somewhat nervous to turn towards Immy to show her. Zach turned slowly anyway, blush hot on his cheeks. "How do I look?" He asked quietly, hoping that even though she had bought this for him, that she would like how he looked in it.

They walked over towards the mirror to look at themselves, and they were taken aback. Their muscles stood out against the dress, and it really made their arms look big. The thing was, though, looking the way they did in a dress was exactly what made them feel euphoric. "Holy shit, I'm hot, aren't I?"

Immy CortesImmy stayed quiet as Zach changed into the dress, wanting to see their reaction before giving her own, she didn’t want to influence the way they felt in anyway. It was hard to keep her reaction neutral when they asked how they looked, but as Zach walked to the mirror, Immy couldn’t help her own tears from escaping her.

Coming up behind them, she reached out for Zach’s hand, not wanting to invade the image in the mirror so he could fully enjoy it but just so he knew she was there. “You look incredible,” she finally said, wiping her tears away with her free hand. “And you look happy, and definitely hot.” Finally she stepped closer, one hand cupping their cheek as she kissed them. “I’m so in love with you.”

zach wildeZach felt a range of emotions, but the one that he was most focused on was how much he loved Immy. It was such an incredible thing to be loved by her - she saw him, and not many people had. Thinking back to his past relationships, none of them had ever held a candle to this. He was sure that no one had ever loved him like this, and he felt like the luckiest man alive because of it. There were more tears falling, and when she kissed him, he completely leaned into it. Zach smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist to bring her as close as possible.

"Halloween felt good, but this is... different. This is more me. I don't know if I'll be confident enough to wear this out of the house yet, but... Fuck, babe. I love you so much. Do you know what this means to me?" They asked her, tears filling their eyes once again. Zach turned towards the mirror, Immy standing next to them now. It felt empowering to see them standing there together like that, and they couldn't help the grin on their face. "This is the happiest I've felt in a really long time, I hope you know that."

Immy CortesImmy just let Zach talk, she didn’t want to interrupt, just wanted them to process their emotions. She’d never been in a position like this to know how they were feeling, but she wanted to be as supportive as possible. Immy gave them one more kiss before moving towards the closet, “A dress like that needs accessories,” she said, opening her jewelry box and pulling out a few different necklaces for Zach to choose from. “I don’t think I have any rings or bracelets that will fit you, but we can always buy some.” She said before stepping further into the closet and coming back with a sheer black shawl the go over his shoulders.

Stepping back into the view of the mirror she held the necklaces up, choosing one with a longer chain, and a pendant with white and black diamonds that would land a couple inches above the neckline of the dress. She walked behind them, clasping the necklace on, and then wrapping the shawl around his arms just below his shoulders. “We’ll have to get you some shoes, too.” Immy stood on her toes so she could place a kiss against their bare shoulder. “You like this dress was made for you, baby. And if you don’t want to wear it out of the house yet, or ever, that’s okay. And if you do want to wear it out of the house, then I’ll be so proud to stand next to you while you do.” She hoped she was assuring them that they had nothing to be ashamed of, if Aaron’s voice was running through head right now that he was dead wrong. “Should we show Malea?” She asked, biting her lip, “Or are you not ready for that yet? It’s totally up to you, baby.”

zach wildeZach had never had a safe space like Immy. Sure, she was a person, but she was his safe place. There was nowhere else that Zach had felt like he could truly and completely be himself other than with Immy by his side. She started adorning him with different accessories, and he just sat there as if he was a doll and was more than happy to just let her do what she thought was best with the dress. He finally looked at himself with everything that Immy had added and grinned. "This definitely makes the whole outfit. If it weren't for you, I would've just worn the dress. Actually, if it weren't for you.. I would've never gotten the dress." He let out a shiver when she kissed his shoulder. He wondered what would happen if Aaron would ever see him like this -- he knew that he would beat him bloody, to the point where no one would recognize him. Honestly, Zach was sure that he'd kill him. He shook himself out of his thoughts, realizing that throughout this whole thing he'd been rather quiet. He was taking in this feeling and enjoying every single second of it. Aaron didn't need to be on his mind, not at all.

At the mention of Malea, Zach perked up. All thoughts of not being good enough, not looking good enough in the dress and Aaron dissipated. "God, I've love to show her, are you kidding?" Before they left the room, though, they wrapped their arms around Immy and kissed her. They let it linger, just holding her close. "I'm so in love with you. I hope you know that. I've never felt more myself with anyone in my entire life. I feel.. god," Zach laughed, blushing a bit. "Beautiful. That might sound stupid."

He made his way out of the room, going towards the living room where Malea had been playing. "Wanna see something crazy?" Zach asked, and she finally looked up and took in his appearance. He felt more confident around her, and so he did a spin and started posing for her. "Your mommy got me a dress. I feel so pretty. What do you think about it?"

Immy Cortes She kissed him back happily, wanting nothing more than them to feel this happy every day. It was what she wanted more than anything, was Zach - and Malea of course - to spend the rest of their lives happy. “It doesn’t sound stupid. You look beautiful, and even more than that, you are beautiful, inside and out, you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever known.”

Immy followed behind Zach quietly to the living room, grinning at Malea when she looked up. Malea narrowed her eyes at Zach, more in confusion than anything, and without a hint of malice in her voice she giggled. “You look so pretty, Zachy! I didn’t know boys could wear dresses, though!” She shrugged, looking at Immy, “How come boys never wear dresses to school?” She asked.

Immy made her way to Malea sat on the floor and slid down next to her. “Well, boys can wear dresses if they want, but sometimes some people don’t like when boys wear dresses. Those people are stinky and we don’t like them.” Immy scrunched up her nose, “Everyone should be able to wear whatever they want as long as they’re covering all of their private parts.” Immy let out a sigh, pulling Malea into her lap, hoping that Malea would understand the conversation they were about to have, and hoping Zach would jump in if Immy said anything wrong.

Immy took two pieces of Maleas coloring paper and laid them out in front of them, leaving a large space between them. “But you know what, Zach isn’t really just a boy, did you know that?” And Malea rolled her eyes, “I know, because he’s a grown up so he’s a man.” Immy let out a soft laugh and nodded, “You’re right but that’s not really what I mean. See there are girls,” she said, plopping some of the crayons Malea had been using down on one piece of paper, and then some more on the other “And there are boys. And when we’re born we get put into or the other, but sometimes when we get older, we start to realize that maybe girl or boy isn’t what feels right for us. So sometimes people who were out in the girl category realize that actually they feel more like a boy, or sometimes boys will realize they feel more like girls. And sometimes some people feel like they’re more in the middle somewhere.” Immy moved crayons back and forth on the papers as she explained, now laying a few throughout the space in the center. “Some people feel like they’re a boy and a girl, or maybe that they’re neither, or maybe that they’re mostly a boy but some parts of being a girl make more sense to them.” She looked down to make sure Malea was following as she tried to simplify it as much as possible. “Zachy was told he was a boy when he was born but sometimes he feels like more in the middle. So boys can wear dresses, and sometimes people who feel in the middle wear dresses, too.”

Immy stopped there, trying to let Malea take it in before she continued. Malea looked up at Zach, her head tilted to one side as she tried to understand everything Immy had just said. “But you said that if I wanted you to be my Daddy that you would be, but you can’t be my Daddy if you’re not a boy, can you?”

zach wildeZach had been grateful that Immy had taken the lead with answering the questions first. He listened intently to all the questions Malea had asked, and even moreso when Immy had answered them. He stood there, falling more in love with her than he ever thought that he could. He watched as she used crayons to explain gender, and smiled as he saw Malea take in all the information. Everything that Immy had said was perfect. When Malea finally directed a question at him, he slowly went to his knees so that he could sit with them on the floor. He wasn't used to moving around in a dress and he had no idea how to sit properly.

"I can always be your Daddy," Zach told her, reaching out so they could move the hair out of her face. "Everyone's different. Maybe someone who felt like me wouldn't want to be called Daddy, but I would. I would like that a lot, actually." The fact that she asked had meant a lot to them - they wondered if it was something that possibly was on Malea's mind lately. "For me, I feel mostly like a boy. But also a little bit of the middle, like your mommy said. And sometimes I just want to wear a pretty dress. Like now," they gestured to themselves, smiling. "Do you have any other questions for me, sweetheart?"

Immy CortesImmy could only hope that what she said to Malea was right, and was grateful when Zach spoke. Malea nodded at Zach’s answer, seeming satisfied that she could still call them her dad if she wanted. She shrugged when asked if she had any other questions, “I think you look pretty in a dress.” She said, though it wasn’t a question, Immy smiled, giving her a kiss on the top of her head. “Wait!” She shouted, standing quickly from Immy’s lap and running down the hall to her room. Immy watched after her, curious when she’d be back.

Immy scooted closer to Zach, kissing them deeply and hoping they were still feeling just as confident in their dress now as they did looking in the mirror. Malea came stumbling back into her room with a tiara and big clip on dress up earrings, “If you want to look pretty you have to go all out.” Immy couldn’t help but laugh at how similar Malea sounded to herself just a few minutes before. Malea placed the tiara on Zach’s head and then added the earrings.

“That’s very nice of you, Malea. Zach looks great, don’t they?” And Malea nodded, sitting back in Immy’s lap now. “Hey, can I ask you something, Malea?” She asked, one hand reaching out to squeeze Zach’s hand now. “Why did you ask if you could still call Zach your daddy if you wanted to? Is that what you want to call him Daddy instead of Zachy?” Malea looked from Immy to Zach and back at Immy again. “Well, I do want him to be my Daddy, but I also like that you’re my Zachy, but I always wanted a Daddy, and Zachy is the best and would be the best Daddy.”

zach wildeZach just sat there as Malea adorned him with a tiara and clip-on earrings, the grin on his face starting to make his cheeks feel sore. His mind was still on the fact that she asked if he could still be his Daddy, but he chuckled anyway. "Thank you, sweetie. I look much better now. Maybe you can do my make up and nails one day?" He offered, and when Immy reached out to hold his hand, he intertwined their fingers together, tugging her a little bit closer to him. He was thankful that Immy had brought it up again, but wasn't expecting Malea's answer. She wanted him to her Daddy. He let go of Immy's hand and scooped Malea into his arms, giving her the biggest hug in the world. He laughed at her confusion, but he didn't care.

Finally, Zach put her down and then kissed the top of her head. "Malea, there's nothing more that I want than to be your Daddy. You know, I'll always be your Zachy even when I'm your Daddy. That's never going to change, okay?" Zach looked over at Immy, hoping that they were saying the correct things. "You can call me both. Daddy and Zachy. Even Daddy Zachy if you like that. How does that sound, baby?" There were tears in their eyes, and their voice was a little wobbly, but they hoped that Malea didn't notice. Everything in their life was so perfect, and they couldn't ask for anything more - this right here, this was what Zach had always wanted.

Immy CortesImmy watched in silence as Zach spoke to Malea, pulling her knees up to chest and hugging herself to try and keep from crying. There was no one in the world that would make a better father than Zach, to anyone. And this was a thing that Immy almost never even let herself dream of, finding someone who loved Malea as much as she did, but Zach absolutely did. He loved her from the moment he met her, and Immy felt like deep down she knew Zach was meant to be Malea’s father.

Still, the decision was Malea’s, and while she’d prompted her by asking, she wasn’t going to encourage her one way or another, she only wanted Malea to be comfortable. Malea seemed to be thinking for a while after Zach spoke. “Hey bug, there’s no wrong answer, okay. You can call Zachy whatever feels right to you, okay?” Malea nodded, her eyes darting between Immy and Zach. “I just think that I just only want to call you Daddy. I still want you to be my Zachy but I don’t want to call you Zachy. Is that okay?”

zach wildeZach couldn't help himself, and the tears immediately started falling. She wanted to call him Daddy. Just Daddy. He nodded, outwardly crying. "I'm sorry, honey. These are happy tears. You can call me daddy and I'll still be your Zachy. Whatever you want, okay?" He wiped away the tears, and brought her in for another hug. He wrapped his arms around her, and then motioned Immy to join them in a group hug. "Family group hug," Zach said, a wide smile on his face. He held both of his girls close, knowing that nothing else in the world could make him this happy. He had already viewed Malea as a daughter, but her accepting him as a dad - that meant the world to him. More than anything.

Immy CortesImmy didn’t hesitate to join the hug, wrapping her arms around both of them. She hadn’t expected tonight to go this way, but who could have expected this? It was beyond her wildest dream. Twice night she’d seen a look on Zach’s face of pure happiness, and she would do anything she could to keep seeing them look like that. She gave Zach a kiss, before kissing Malea on the top of her head. “This is the perfect family.” She whispered, resting her head against Zach’s shoulder, unwilling to pull away from either of them just yet.

#immy.#ftf: immy.#zach x immy 09.

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zachwilde · 1 month ago

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So what would you think of me now? So lucky, so strong, so proud || Zach & Midge

WHO: @zachwilde, @mir-iamwilde

WHERE: Immy and Zach's House

WHEN: The 5th of November

WHY: Zach and Midge discuss Midge's plan with Aaron, and what happened on Halloween with Danny.

WARNINGS: Mentions of violence, abuse, religion, and murder. Zach suffers a panic attack.

zach wilde Zach loved when it was just him and Malea. The fact that Immy had trusted him enough to take care of her on his own, and the fact that Malea liked him enough to spend one on one time with him. They'd been coloring and watching cartoons together when Midge walked through the front door. "Hey!" Zach greeted happily, immediately looking her over to see if there were any noticeable bruises on her. He relaxed when there weren't any, and got up to greet her. He wrapped his arms around Midge, kissing her on the top of the head. "You remember Midge, Malea? Say hi!" He waited for what Malea was going to do, and she looked up and sighed. "I'm still coloring, Zachy," she told them, and Zach laughed. "You're so right, I'm sorry, bug." They turned to Midge, voice lower now: "What's up? Is everything okay?"

Midge WildeMaking her way to Immy's house, or - Zach and Immy's house, she felt her nerves building. She knew Zach wasn't going to like this conversation, that they were going to worry about her, but she couldn't keep doing so many things behind their back. She'd promised to tell him what her plan was on Halloween, and she needed to follow through. Midge barged through the door, kicking it shut behind her, wondering if Immy was there to be annoyed by her, but was disappointed when she saw it was just Zach and the kid. At least Han was there to greet her.

Midge hugged Zach back, relaxing against them, and couldn't help but to let out a laugh at Malea's words. She could respect a girl with an attitude, "Yeah, don't be so rude, Zachy." She teased, nudging them with her arm. Midge nodded at their question, and gestured towards the next room, "Maybe we should talk in here?" She said, taking a seat at the kitchen table, "Are you doing okay?" She asked, biting her lip, knowing that they'd likely need to discuss both Aaron and Danny, and she wasn't sure how either would go.

zach wilde"I'm gonna talk to Midge, okay?" Zach told Malea, but she was far too busy with coloring to really care what they were saying. He laughed and then made his way to the kitchen. Zach grabbed two glasses and filled them up with water, setting them down on the table and joined her. As much as he liked a visit from Midge, he knew that there must be something going on. He wondered if she knew that Danny put his hands on him, and still was going back and forth with deciding if he should even tell her or not.

"I'm okay," they nodded, tilting their head to the side, a little confused. Why was she asking if they were okay? "Are you? I love that you're here, Midgie, but I'm kind of confused. Is there something going on? Nothing happened with Aaron, did it?" They couldn't help themselves, they looked over Midge again, making sure there weren't any bruises they'd missed the first look over.

Midge WildeMidge felt herself flinch under their gaze. She knew Zach only cared that she was okay, but she didn't like feeling like she was being inspected. Instead, she brushed them off, stretching her neck up so they could have a clear view, letting a small laugh escape her, "You want to see my stomach, too, make sure there's nothing hidden anywhere else?" She teased, reaching out to squeeze their hand gently.

"No, nothing happened with Aaron, but I just ...I didn't really get to explain on Halloween, but I think there's a way that maybe I can get him out of our lives." She bit her lip, feeling her nerves pick up again, "But I need you to tell me it's okay to do this, because if you tell me not to, I won't." Midge took in a deep breath, "I think all these years, Dad has been stealing money from the church, I think I can get proof, and from what I'm seeing, he could go to jail for a really long time. But...I have to be able to prove it."

zach wildeZach frowned. "I'm sorry. Ever since you told me what happened with dad, I've just.. I've been having a lot of bad dreams. I can't stop thinking about it," his voice was quieter on the last sentence, but he squeezed her hand back. He wouldn't tell her that he was constantly plagued with the anxiety that Aaron would show up and do even worse to her.

They were immediately locked into what Midge was saying, brows furrowing in confusion. Everything made sense when Midge commented on Aaron stealing money from the church. Zach couldn't help his laugh. Of course the good Christian man was stealing money from Pacific Grace. Of course he was. But Midge being the one to uncover it... "Midgie.." they finally said, shaking their head. "I'll be the first one to say I want Aaron to go to jail. He deserves it. But.. Are you being careful? What if he catches on? What then?"

Midge WildeShe regretted telling Zach what had really happened with Aaron. As much as they deserved to know, and she knew she should have told them, she regretted the worry it was causing them. Midge frowned at their words, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, but I promise, he’s been fine at work, he wouldn’t let anyone think less of him by treating me badly in front of anyone. You don’t have to worry about it.” She knew that would likely be little comfort, but she hoped it helped enough.

She was surprised how well he took her news, of course he was worried, but she expected that. “Well, he’ll have to find out eventually, but I’ve got time to prepare for that. As far as him catching on, he won’t. I’m not doing anything, I’m not stopping him or anything like that, just making records and I’m not keeping them there. They’ve got it all set up as this fake charity, they put a set amount in it each month as a donation but it doesn’t exist, it just goes to dad and I’m guess Al gets a cut. So as long as I keep putting money in there he won’t notice anything. At first I thought I’d try to tell him we needed to diversify our donations and wanted to set up other places to donate to, but I realized that would raise too many questions when he got mad at me and he’d suspect I knew something. So I’m just playing dumb. It’s easy, he thinks he’s smarter than everyone else already, so he just assumes I’m still just naive little Miriam and he’s too proud to question that.”

zach wildeZach sighed, and then looked out to the living room to make sure Malea was still doing okay. She was talking to herself and he gave a small smile. He turned back to Midge, unsure. As much as he wanted Aaron to go down, having his sister be the one to do it made him nervous.

"Midge, I know you think he's stupid. He is in a lot of ways, and I'm gonna be the first one to admit that. But he's also really smart in other ways. He's a fucking master manipulator, okay?" Zach let out a shaky sigh. They weren't sure if this was the best idea, and they felt the pressure in their chest that told them they were getting anxious. Zach stood up from the table and paced back and forth. "I don't know. Like I said, I'm the first one to say he deserves to go to jail. But on the other hand, I don't know what the hell he'd do to you if he found out before you could do anything." Actually, Zach had a pretty good idea - Aaron would most likely try to kill her. Or at least get close to it. There were a few times when Zach had been younger, that he was sure that's exactly what he was trying to do to them. While their siblings understood the kind of man he was now, they never really knew exactly how bad it got. Tears filled Zach's eyes and he balled his hands into fists. "I can't have anything else happen to you."

Midge WildeShe knew everything he was saying was true, it wasn’t anything she hadn’t thought herself. It didn’t matter though, she needed to do this. She could understand why Zach wouldn’t want her to, why they would worry and want her safe, but she wasn’t going to be deterred. She knew she’d said she needed them to tell her it was okay, but she was realizing that wasn’t true, she couldn’t walk away from this. “I don’t think he’s stupid, I promise you, he may be underestimating me, but I won’t make that same mistake with him.” She said, hoping to reassure them. She felt a chill run down her spine when they mentioned not knowing what Aaron would do to her. What had happened already wasn’t nearly as bad as what she knew Aaron was capable of, when it came to protecting his reputation, he would go much further. “Well, if I end up dead he could go to jail for that, too.” She teased, though she knew that joke was in poor taste, and Zach would never be amused by it. “Look, I’m being as careful as I can be. I can’t promise everything is going to be fine, but I can’t promise to keep you updated and to stop if I think he’s catching on. And I can promise to keep myself as safe as possible. Danny stays with me most nights, honestly, so he’s not going to catch me home alone again at least.”

zach wildeThough it was a joke, Midge saying that if she ended up dead Aaron would go to jail really got to Zach. He couldn't even listen to the rest of what she'd been saying and completely turned away from her. He didn't want Malea to see him like this. Zach sucked in a deep breath, feeling his hands shaking. The anxiety that had been bubbling up came completely to the surface and he couldn't handle it - he felt like he couldn't breathe. Zach quickly made his way to the back door and immediately tried to take in a big breath.

It all hit them just then - everything. Everything that had been happening, and it was because of Aaron. Zach slid to the ground and a sob immediately felt like it ripped out of their throat. Tears were spilling and quite honestly, they weren't even aware of it. The thought that Aaron could kill her was the only thing on their mind, and the fact that they couldn't do anything to stop it. Zach had tried to not let their siblings see this side of them, and honestly, it'd been awhile since they'd had a full on panic attack. They were gasping for breath and pulled their knees to their chest, just trying to calm themselves down.

Midge WildeShe watched as Zach seemed to fall apart in front of her. She didn’t know what to do at first, but as they slid to the ground, guilt filled her completely. She grabbed their water and came outside behind them, shutting the door but leaving it cracked so they could hear Malea is she needed them. “Okay, I’m sorry,” she said softly, taking the cold water and pressing the cold container to their cheek, then the other, and then the back of their neck. “Just try to take a deep breath, okay. Smell the flowers, blow out the candles, right? Isn’t that what they say?” She felt herself panicking too, but knew she needed to stay calm if she was going to help Zach at all. Midge sat on her knees in front of them, her hands resting over theirs. “Just breathe, okay?” She repeated, not knowing what else to say, before resuming moving the water around to try and cool them, hoping to reset their nervous system.

zach wildeIt took a second for Zach to recognize that Midge was next to him, but when he felt her hands in his own he finally looked up. His eyes were full of tears and he hated getting like this, especially because both Midge and Malea were around. They let her run the water around him, the coolness of it starting to distract him. His therapist had told him several different ways to calm down from a panic attack, but it was always hard to actually do it when he was in it. Zach breathed just as Midge told him, the tears still falling but not as quickly as before. After a few minutes of silence, they finally spoke up again. "Fuck, I'm.. I'm really sorry. That happens sometimes," he explained, holding Midge's hand in his own, squeezing it tightly. "Please don't joke about that ever again. Okay?"

Midge WildeMidge nodded at their words, relieved that they seemed a bit more calm now. “I won’t.” She whispered, lending forward to hug them. “Besides, I don’t want to die, there’s way too many dicks out there left to be sucked by the two hottest Wilde’s and you’re dick sucking days are over, so I guess it’s all up to me.” She knew that that joke wasn’t likely to make them feel any better but at least it might distract them from the anxiety. They could be annoyed at her all they wanted. “And don’t apologize, at least you give a shit about me, it’s more than I can say for him.” She said, not feeling a need to elaborate on who she meant.

zach wildeZach's head immediately snapped up when Midge started talking about... sucking dick. "What the fuck?" Zach said, staring at her because the absurdity of it all. "Why the hell would you..." He trailed off, not wanting to think about that particular subject when it had to do with his sister. Despite himself, he laughed just because what the fuck. They pulled Midge in for a tighter hug again, resting their forehead on her shoulder. "You're fucking crazy but I love you. I just want you to be safe, okay?

Midge WildeShe couldn’t fight her grin when they swore, letting them hug her, more than happy to hug back. “I know, Zachy.” She smiled, pulling away again, and then standing, her hands held out to him to pull him up as well. “I love you, too. And I have so many years of driving you insane to look forward to, so I’ll be safe, I promise.” She sighed, “I do want you to be okay with this, though. I’m going to do it, but I want you to be okay with it.”

zach wildeZach wasn't completely okay with it, but because she was going to do it anyway, he knew that there was nothing that he could say. She wanted his support, and that's exactly what she'd get. Zach let Midge help her up and stood up, making his way back into the kitchen to check on Malea. She was fine, of course. "I'm okay with it. Can you update me on everything, please? Just everything that you can. You know I'm going to drive myself crazy just thinking about it."

Midge Wilde“You want a code word?” She asked, sitting back down in her seat, completely serious. “Like if things aren’t okay and I need help but he’s there and I can’t say it, I can say ‘banana pudding’ or something, I don’t know. Like if I call you and start talking about dessert and ask if you like banana pudding then you know somethings wrong.” She didn’t know why things like this came to her mind, but here she was. “Or anything, you pick. That way if something is wrong, I can tell dad that I need to call you because you’re expecting me and if you don’t hear from me you’ll worry, he can listen to the call and then I can signal to you that I need help without him knowing.”

zach wilde"Banana pudding works," Zach nodded. "I like that. I just want to be able to know that there's something that I can do to help you. Thank you for letting me know and having this open line of communication with me, Midge. Even if I did freak out a little bit," they laughed, still wiping their face, feeling like it was still wet from the tears. "I really hope that it doesn't come to that, but yeah. Banana pudding works. He'll just think you're being a good woman who wants to cook his oldest son food," he rolled his eyes.

Midge WildeShe nodded, hopeful that this could make them both feel a bit safer. She sat back in her chair, relaxing for a second as she debated if she wanted to keep this conversation going or not. “Zach,” she finally said, knowing that they were likely to get upset again, but she didn’t want anything hanging over them anymore. “Danny told me about what happened on Halloween between you and him.”

zach wildeZach sighed and sat back down in the chair. He was a little impressed that Danny had actually said anything to her, but he was still pissed off about the whole thing. "Did he?" Zach questioned, trying to stay level-headed. After everything Immy had said, they understood Danny wasn't a bad guy, but it definitely wasn't someone he wanted to be with her. "Just so I'm clear. What did he exactly say what happened?"

Midge WildeShe could sense the tension rising in the room and wondered if she’d made a huge mistake bringing it up, “He said you told him you didn’t think he was good enough for me and that he grabbed you.” She sighed, boiling it down the basic gist of what had happened. “He said he got angry and took things to a physical place and that you walked away, he didn’t try to blame it on you or anything like that.”

zach wilde"Actually, I said that he doesn't deserve you after he put his hands on me. He was talking about you in a disrespectful way to me, which - what the fuck? That was already upsetting enough. Then I said that you said he's not what people think, but I was starting to think that's not true. That's when he came up to me and grabbed my dress and pulled me close to him and got in my face." Zach told her, hoping that she understood that he didn't just walk up to Danny and start saying that shit to him. "I was just asking him his intentions with you to begin with."

Midge Wilde“He shouldn’t have said anything like that to you,” she said, almost tempted to ask what he said, but she’d ask Danny for more detail later, she wanted to hear it from him. “I know,” she said, reaching forward to squeeze their hand. “I told him that it was fucked up, that that’s what big brothers say to guys that are hanging around their baby sisters, and how it wasn’t okay that he grabbed you. I’m not here to make excuses for him, or to apologize for him, he should do that himself, I just wanted you to know that I knew. And that I appreciate you care enough to talk to him.” She sighed, “Everything is just so fucked up. I know you probably have feelings about me spending time with him after that, but right now I need him, and he needs me. I’m sorry.”

zach wilde"I'm not about to sit here and argue with you about the guy that you have feelings for, I just want you to know that I don't like him for you. Maybe it's good right now and it's fulfilling something for you and that's great, but I don't think this is the guy, is all I'm saying. You're probably gonna roll your eyes and think I'm being overprotective, but I dunno, I just think a guy who's willing to put his hands on the brother of the girl he's sleeping with.. or whatever it is that you guys are doing.. after what you're going through? Not right." Zach squeezed her hand. "I love you, and I know that you're gonna do whatever you want. That's alright."

Midge WildeShe squeezed their hand back, shaking her head at their words, “I’m not rolling my eyes, I don’t think you’re being overprotective, I get it, Zach. Like I said, I’m not making excuses for him, he shouldn’t have done it.” She sighed, shrugging a shoulder, “I love you, too. Danny makes me feel safe right now, and I need that. I know he fucked up, and I get what you’re saying, but I need that, I need to feel safe.”

zach wilde"Good. I'm glad you have somewhere you can feel safe, but..." He trailed off, sighing. "You feel safe other places too, right? Other people? And when I say other people, I do mean other people, but I kinda also mean me. You feel safe with me, right?" They paused. "Trust me, I know it's different. I just wanna make sure that you've got more than one person that you can feel that with. AKA your big brother."

Midge WildeShe let their words settle, wondering for a moment if that was something they really questioned, because to her it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Zach, there’s no one in the world that feels safer than you. You’ve always been where I’ve felt safest. But..” she trailed off, her eyes glancing into the other room for a moment before meeting theirs again, “ You have other people that need you to keep them safe now. That’s not-…I’m not trying to be passive aggressive or anything, I mean it genuinely, they need you now, and that’s how it should be, you can’t keep being everything for everyone. You have to let me find my own way to be safe.”

zach wildeZach nodded because he knew Midge was right. She was old enough, and he always held onto the fact that he needed to take care of her. But she could make those choices for herself, and it was about time he stopped questioning that. "Okay, yeah. I know. You're right. I've got Immy and Malea, but I want you to know that doesn't make me worry about you any less. Or want to take care of you any less. But.. Yeah, I get it."

Midge Wilde“I know, but that’s because you’re the best. Sometimes I think Dad was born without a heart and you were born with a big enough one for both of you.”

#midge.#ftf: midge.#zach x midge 03.

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