#Do not let her near home
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sg-the-mag-by · 9 months ago
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Part 2
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A part 2 of sorts to the picture
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Only as you can see in the top one Bellflower has seen something that has left her petrified. Let me know if you want to see more of Bellflower in this style because I am loving how I’ve drawn her like this(one of the extremely few times I feel proud to constantly look at this picture and actually feel happy).
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kyonshi-8610 · 5 months ago
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more than one week i will be gone
translations and img descriptions in alt thing
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prismaticsaltedink · 2 months ago
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Scoria and Sakura are best friends! It's so cute when I see the things they do together, and it makes me so beyond happy that they both came to live with me so that they could share their lives with each other. They absolutely insist on it, and does so much good for the other.
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I can't imagine how else they could have found happiness if things hadn't worked out exactly as they did. Scoria has basically been Sakura's "emotional support snake" while she worked through things from her past I'll never fully know that caused her a lot of issues with panic and fear. Sakura knows this too, and looks out for her sister, the only one she truly trusts and feels completely safe with.
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The moment they wake up they both want each other to snuggle and play with. Scoria loves to be affectionate with both me and her sister who seems to have not had this earlier in her life- but Scoria is showing her how nice it is not only directly but demonstrating with me and Sakura also trying, copying what she has seen her sister do.
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Sometimes when one goes to check on the other they'll join in on... I'm not even sure what they were doing. But they had a good time while taking a mandated union break from digging tunnels for the isopods.
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So happy I get to share in the adventures of these two best friends! It makes me so happy to see them living their best lives together, and being beyond content snuggled together with their found family.
#cute#pets#snakes#friends#animals#I think Sakura tried copying Scoria and didn't quite get the full memo#So she went down the front bark and Scoria went down the back which leads into diggy dirt#And Sakura was like#“I followed friend into bark but where is friend???”#Meanwhile Scoria was probably oblivious her little sister was trying to find her & she may was well have her front half going into a portal#Eventually they found each other fully#And were very clear they prefer their home far more than this enclosure they helped build tunnels for#I'm glad to know they like their home#While I do want to make it more aesthetically pleasing#the current focus was filling it with things they enjoy#Specifically things they have a lot of fun playing with or on#I want their home to be the place they feel safe but also enjoy being in#not a prison#a bedroom#I think they like their enclosure but they sometimes don't want to go in it because they also really enjoy spending time with me#Scoria really does#but also communicates effectively when she is sleepy from playing and needs to rest#as much as they love each other when they go to sleep for the night they sleep alone#even with the option to stay near each other#I think this is nature rather than something I taught them by separating them into their own enclosures after play time#which makes me wonder if humans classified them as solitary just because they don't want room mates#like plenty of people i know choose to live alone but that doesn't mean they are introverts/solitary#I wonder if wild hoggies sleep alone (not counting brumation) and their social lives outside their den was completely ignored#Like I bet they live in a neighborhood or kingdom or whatever you want to call it#The fact they can communicate“I'm friendly let's be nice to each other”indicates a species that regularly comes into contact with each other
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spiderwarden · 6 months ago
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Not me listening to this and always imagining how when Karlach ( @infernaliscor ) chooses death, the scenario in my head is that she shoved Minthara away from her so she wouldn't burn up with her. Then Minthara crying outright as she crawls back over to her and pushes her hands into her ashes and collapses onto her knees. Staring down at what's left of her love, her darling love, and just cries before she barely has enough lucidity to gather as much of her ashes as she can into a leather pouch. Where she then has two swords made from them, two swords that she carries on her back as she goes into Avernus herself, just as she promised Karlach, and enters the blood wars to make Zariel pay for ever laying eyes on her. With Karlach protecting her back just as she did in life ... swords she will plunge into the Arch devil herself, still killed by Karlach even in death.
#[ 🕷️ ] —— musings#[ worse if she kills zariel ]#[ no matter how many years it takes ]#[ her daughter grows up- the home as she knows fades away fully etc ]#[ worse if as she sits on or near zariel's dead body she collapses on her knees again and turns her head back and screams ]#[ roars and then eventually it fades and she just cries because it did not kill her ]#[ worse if she feels purposeless because grief can kill elves remember that and she stands at the edge of a void or doom and stares#right into the pits and wishes to badly to find her love in oblivion and then she sucks in a breath of air ]#[ with Clive tied to her belt- with the heat of the swords made from Kar.lach's ashes ]#[ existing like k.arlach's hand on her shoulders and she remembers how she wanted life ]#[ remembers that she wouldn't want her to do this to herself and would want her live- and live FULLY and instead of looking into death#she turns away and leaves.. leaves the area.. leaves avernus. ]#[ and then as soon as her feet touch grass- she finally sees the world as k.arlach saw it when she first landed onto the coast ]#[ the world- after spending so many years in the Hells seeking vengeance- was suddenly brighter. ]#[ she could smell things.. feel the softness of the grass and the cool of the air and just..#sits by the river stretching her feet out and taking her shoes off to let it sit in the river ]#[ just as karla.ch was found when you first meet her - can eat and enjoy real food and water and drink. ]#[ understanding it now as she did all those years ago.. ]#[ purposeless now.. not knowing what to do now.. she returns to Bald.urs Gate. ]#[ and gets a house on the edge of the city .. just like k.arlach would have wanted and dreamed about. ]#[ welcome to my head everyone ]
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slippery-minghus · 11 days ago
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oof
#actually yeah remember that time i had swine flu#i had a 104 degree fever and was terrified to go to the hospital#not because of the hospital but because i'd have to manage my parents' emotions and anxiety while i was there on top of being sick as hell#i locked myself in the bathroom refusing to let my dad take me to the ER#and only gave in when he promised he wouldn't tell my mom#and then his girlfriend told my mom. they fucking lied#and then. you guessed it. i had to manage everyone's emotions while we waited for the ER to do literally nothing#the swine flu tests were super unreliable and i got a false negative. they sent me home with some antibiotics and called it a day#then sheepishly called a week later when the second test came back positive to basically ask if i was still alive#swine flu fucked me up for a long time. but it didn't warrant an er visit#and it certainly didn't warrant my parents fucking breaking my trust like that#i know they only told my mom so they didn't have to deal with her going off after the fact#which is such bullshit. that's the kind of thing a parent is supposed to take and shield their kid from#not break their trust so you get it easy#but of course. if my dad had been one to take my aversion to my mom seriously then. then he and i wouldn't be going on 4yrs of no contact#because a looooot of things would've had to be different for that one thing to happen#god i have so much anger for my parents. so much grief#my mom's been surprisingly silent (all things considered) in the near month i've been no contact with her#and it's not like seeing the disgusting emails and voicemails from her feels good but... but they're almost better than nothing.#they're sort of love. in a way. not really... but. but it hurts to know how hard my dad fought to get through to me#and to have spent the past 4yrs with my mom rubbing in my face how she'd never be like him and Just let me go. how she'd fight.#being told that at the time didn't feel like love. didn't feel healthy. and now seeing that she didn't even fucking mean it.#she prided herself so much on being the one who Loved Me More. really hard not to see it for the performance it was now#makes me wonder if my dad really actually did love me as much as he said. not that it was much but. it was more. it was something#i know he's not capable of change. even less capable than my mom. but. i really miss my dad right now.#(​glad i can still remember what his voice sounds like. so i don't have to go listen to one of those old voicemails he left me)#even considering that the memory that brought this all up was him lying to me and betraying my trust#being no contact with my parents...i'm finally the orphan i always have been#personal#ahhhh therapy's gonna be JUICY this week 🤣
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pinkhysteria · 1 year ago
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there's something so sweet about fbj/jatt wanting the people they put on the block to viciously campaign against each other for their entertainment, but it just brings them closer together. 💀 this really stopped the cirie/felicia war, lol.
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front-facing-pokemon · 2 years ago
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#bonus under the cut getting that snout facing right at the camera#camerupt#early 2000s animation cow‚ apparently. that's what someone just said about the bonus image. i honestly never understood this thing's name#i always thought it was pretty obviously a cow. but then its name implies camel. camel erupt. camerupt. is there a specific kind of#camel that just looks like a cow?? or. what. or am i just misremembering what camels look like#either way‚ i still think this pokémon is pretty cool‚ but i don't really use it ever in my own playthroughs. i don't think i *ever* have#not even in pokémon colosseum where i'm pretty sure you can get a shadow numel at some point. bc i already had a fire-type#not sure which one it was but it was definitely one of them. maybe cyndaquil? because of the dudes with the johto starters#that you fight near the beginning in pppp uuuhhh the PHENAC city i couldn't remember the name. for a second there.#i wasn't aware as a kid that their outfits corresponded to the type of the starter they had and also that you could only fight one of them#i think as a kid i was under the impression that there was only the one. for some reason i remember fighting the green one#oh wait they have the second-evos yeah. cuz he had bayleef. and the red one would've had quilava. not cyndaquil#ugh my memory is not very good evidently. i'm writing these tags after work. normally i do them right when i wake up but this time i just#do not have an excuse for not being able to remember shit. this is just on me. maybe it's amplified by the fact that i have yet to eat today#which i have a very bad habit of doing. forgetting to eat all day and not eating until like 5 and then that being my only meal for the day#i'm trynna get better about it but it is Not easy for some reason. for something that should be decidedly very simple#but my brain doesn't often let me eat until i've completed all of my silly little Tasks. so. idk. this will however post the day after i've#arrived back home from my trip which is nice. the first time future me will be sleeping in her own bed again. good luck again future me#you might need it
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arolesbianism · 5 months ago
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Doodle of my boy
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc art#oc#fydd <3333333333#he is my bestie I need to get over my fear of drawing him so bad#grips bathroom sink I Will get better at drawing for fun and letting my art be messy and being proud of it anyways#but yeah look at him he is so cute and is so silly and he’s never gone through any traumatic events ever I would never#<- lying lier who lies and loves tormenting it’s ocs#but yeah he’s half alien half human but was raised entirely by his human mom#his alien mom is alas stuck in the cult the two met at rip#fydd doesn’t know abt any of that tho he just knows that he has another mom that his mom doesn’t like talking abt#he loves playing games of all kind but especially loves video games and will play them for hours#not that he has much else to do since he’s spent pretty much his entire life living by a garbage dump in the middle of nowhere#and he’s not allowed to go fuck around in the dump much since his mom doesn’t want him to be seen so he’s stuck at home most of the time#thankfully now he has an adopted sister to play with but he still has viddy game autism#his mom has done her best to introduce him to the various cultures she and his other mom came from but she struggles with it#she was quite disconnected from her own culture growing up and she knows limited amount about her girlfriends home planet#fydd doesn’t mind much rn cause he’s 12 but a certain other older fydd might care a smidge more#fydd does like 60% know both japanese and spanish tho so that’s pretty cool#his mom tried to do regular lessons when he was younger but wasn’t able to keep them up consistently and eventually gave up#mostly because she wasn’t anywhere near fluent in either herself and she had a hard time keeping up with how fast fydd would pick up on it#they still have some books from back then laying around that fydd will pick up and read aloud when he’s bored sometimes#he gets bored of speaking english all the time as his brain is built to pick apart different sounds and assign them linguistic meaning#so reading and speaking different languages is good enrichment for him#his mom doesn’t know this unfortunately otherwise she totally would have gotten him more stuff in different languages to chew on#he does get to learn the language the stalien cast speaks tho he has a lot of fun with that#he alas can’t properly experience most stalien video games though rip#I should rly get to redesigning his human mom again at some point she needs it sooo bad#I mean her whole squad needs it but she’s my favorite so like
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sol-flo · 2 months ago
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i have fumbled this girl so badly that i am now working on a separate plane where this is good actually
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acourtofquestions · 2 months ago
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 67
as I read live
Thank the gods. Even though they were the last beings Rowan wished to thank.
She rested a hand atop Goldryn's hilt, flame dancing at her fingers, seemingly into the red stone itself.
"It would take years," she observed, "to heal everyone infected by the Valg."
"Each of those soldiers has a family, friends who would want us to try."
"I know."
The chill wind whipped her hair across her face, blowing northward.
"Could Yrene heal them? Erawan and Maeve? I don't know why I didn't think of it."
"Is Erawan's body made by him, or stolen?
Is Maeve's?" Rowan shook his head. "They might be wholly different."
"I don't see how I can ask Yrene to do it.
Ask it of Chaol." Aelin swallowed. "To even put Yrene near Erawan or Maeve... I can't do it."
Rowan wouldn't be able to, either. Not for a thousand different reason.
"But is it a mistake to put Yrene's safety above that of this entire world?" Aelin mused, examining one of the enemy daggers she'd pilfered. An unusually fine blade, likely stolen in the first place.
"She's the greatest weapon we have, if the keys are not in play. Are we fools not to push to use it?"
It wasn't his choice, his call. But he could offer her a sounding board. "Will you be able to live with yourself if something happens to Yrene, to her unborn child?"
"No. But the rest of the world will live, at least. My guilt would be secondary to that."
"And if you don't push Yrene to try to destroy them, and Erawan or Maeve wins—what then?"
"There is still the Lock. There's still me."
Rowan swallowed. Saw the reason she'd needed to be away from the others, needed to walk.
"Yrene is a ray of hope for you. For us That you might not need to forge the Lock at all. You, or Dorian."
"The gods demand it."
"The gods can go to hell."
Aelin chucked away the dagger. "I hate this. I really do."
He slid an arm around her shoulders. It was all he could offer her.
Over—she'd said she wanted it to be over.
He'd do all he could to make it so.
Aelin leaned her head against his chest, and they stared across the cold lake in silence.
"Would you let me do it, if I were Yrene? If I were carrying our child?"
He failed to block out the image of that dream—of Aelin, heavily pregnant, their children around her. "I don't let you do anything."
She waved a hand. "You know what I mean."
He took a moment to answer. "No. Even if the world ended because of it, I couldn't bear it."
And with that Lock, he might very well have to make that decision, too.
Rowan ran his fingers over the claiming marks on her neck. "I told you that love was a weakness. It would be far easier if we all hated each other."
She snorted. "Give it a few weeks on the road with this army, in those mountains, and we might not be such pleasant allies anymore."
Rowan kissed the top of her head. "Gods help us."
Even with the hours of instruction on the journey back to this continent, Rowan and the others had not wholly mastered the language of the half-forgotten marks. But her mate remembered most—as if they'd been planted in his mind.
Aelin carefully studied the line of symbols across the page. Read through them a second time. "It's not what we're looking for." She pulled on her bottom lip. "It's a spell for opening a portal between locations-just in this world."
"Like what Maeve can do?" Borte asked.
Aelin shrugged. "Yes, but this is for close traveling. More like what Fenrys can do.
"Or had once been able to do, before Maeve had broken it from him.
Borte's mouth quirked to the side. "What's the point of it, then?"
"Entertaining people at parties?" Aelin handed the book back to Rowan.
Borte chuckled, and leaned back in her seat, toying with the end of a long braid. "Do you think the spell exists—to find an alternate way to seal the Wyrdgate?" The question was barely more than a whisper, and yet Rowan shot the girl a warning look. Borte just waved him off.
No. Elena would have told her, or Brannon,
if such a thing had existed Aelin ran a hand over the dry, ancient page, the symbols blurring. "It's worth a look, isn't it?"
Rowan indeed resumed his careful browsing and decoding. He'd sit here for hours, she knew. And if they found nothing, she knew he'd sit here and reread them all just to be sure.
A way out—an alternate path. For her, for Dorian. For whichever of them would pay the price to forge the Lock and seal the gate. A desperate, foolish hope.
Chaol found his father where he'd left him, seething in his study.
"You cannot give a single acre of this territory to the wild men," his father hissed as Chaol wheeled into the room and shut the door.
Chaol crossed his arms, not bothering took placating. "I can, and I will."
Chaol sighed, slumping back in his chair. A lifetime of this—that's what Dorian had laid upon him. As Hand, he'd have to deal with lords and rulers just like his father. If they survived. If Dorian survived, too. The thought was enough for Chaol to say, "Everyone in this war is making sacrifices. Most far, far greater than a few miles of land. Be grateful that's all we're asking of you."
"I hope Anielle burns to the ground. And you with it." A small, hateful smile. "That's all your brother said. My heir—that's how he feels about this place. If he will not protect Anielle, then what shall become of it without you?"
"She discovered the trunk. Right before we got word of Morath marching on us," his father said, his smile mocking and cold. "I should have burned them, of course, but something prompted me to save them instead. For this exact moment, I think."
The trunk was piled thick with letters. All written by his mother. To him. "How long," he said too quietly.
"From the day you left." His father's sneer lingered.
Years. Years of letters, from a mother he had not heard from, had believed hadn't wanted to speak to him, had yielded to his father's wishes.
"You let her believe I didn't write back," Chaol said, surprised to find his voice still calm "You never sent them, and let her believe I didn't write back."
"Watching you with that wife of yours only proves it. I'd think you'd bargain quite a bit to be able to read these letters."
Chaol only stared at him. Blinked once, as if it would quell the roaring in his head, his heart.
His mother had never forgotten him. Never.
Stopped writing to him.
Chaol smiled slightly.
"Keep the letters," he said, steering his chair back to the doors. "Now that she's left you, it might be your only way to remember her." He opened the study door and looked over his shoulder.
His father remained beside the trunk, stiff as a sword. "I don't make bargains with bastards, I’m certainly not starting with you."
Cain's people or they had been. Aelin decided not to mention him during their brief introduction. And Chaol, wisely, refrained from admitting that he'd killed the man.
Another lifetime. Another world.
Seated atop a fine Munigi horse Hasar had lent her, Aelin rode at the front of the company, as it marched from Anielle, Chaol on Farasha to her left, Rowan on his own Munigi horse to her right. Their companions were scattered behind, Lorcan healed enough to be riding, Elide beside him.
And behind them, snaking into the distance, the army of the khagan moved.
The khagan's armies had crossed every terrain, though. Mountains and deserts and seas.
They did not balk now.
So Aelin supposed she would not, either.
For whatever time she had left, until it was over.
This final push north, homeward
・・・
She smiled grimly at the looming mountains, at the army stretching away behind them
And just because she could, just because they were headed to Terrasen at last, Aelin unleashed a flicker of her power. Some of the standard-bearers behind them murmured in surprise, but Rowan only smiled.
Smiled with that fierce hope, that brutal determination that flared in her own heart, as she began to burn.
She let the flame encompass her, a golden glow that she knew could be spied even from the farthest lines of the army, from the city and keep they left behind. A beacon glowing bright in the shadows of the mountains, in the shadows of the forces that awaited them, Aelin lit the way north.
#Chapter 67#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Rowan Whitethorn#Aelin Galathynius#no spoilers please#first read#read with me#read along#final chapter of part 2#all caught up#all updates are now live#read with me live updates#First Read along with me NO SPOILERS PLEASE though warning for post & tags up to KoA 67 & more reacts/notes/quotes in tags below#Chaorene#Rowaelin#I love you always northward Gavriel learning to heal she could be there way out still they try for Hope I don't LET she'd drifted away agai#she's trying to figure out why their evil maybe they're possessed she wouldn't let Yrene near yet that's where she would be#because that's the price she will pay comfortably but the selfless guilt of 2ndary our hopeful Yrene she did not like this#he knew what she meant she's fighting but also it mean different he couldn't forget the dream their dream it was a dream truly a dream#the full circle heir of fire irony him holding her like Qos but this time different and also not flinching -#-when she hops onto a different track also props2her learning Wyrds-#What Maeve could do foreshadowing maybe-the order to rest-Chaol having that talk now vs Khagan frustrations-nothing#Yes Terrin-she fought for him&that made all the difference-he’ll see her himself-this time Rowan&Chaol at her sides&the position means#Rowan smiled-Hope continued-Their team-Lorcy healing-Where fang had gone-Full circle long ago-the rivers-is the Ruhkin just Ruk full name-#rum hen have hypogriff vibes-Oakwald would be proud-the way north-home-finally-gods and gates-#Wyrdmarks. A good spell for encouraging your herb beds to grow.#had leaped at the chance to assist them passing Valg duty onto her scowling betrothed#Hafiza's forbidden library atop the Torre nothing had proved useful.#Aelin tipped her face toward that cold sky as they began the endless series of switchbacks up the mountainsidesAelinsEternalAmusement-to TO
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sudokuplayer · 1 year ago
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#boris was attacked by my neighbor's dog and i've been crying so much. i'm so scared#it's 9pm so my sister is driving him to a vet 1 hour away cause the vets near close at 7pm#idk why bad things keep happening to him i'm so heartbroken idk what i'll do if he dies#my neighbor is a cruel bitch cause this happened around 1 pm and she didn't tell us. she hid him in a room#she was gonna let him die like that#my sister was supposed to take me somewhere tomorrow so she came home one day earlier#i'd been crying all afternoon and i told her to please ask around and then they (w mom and brother) went to my neighbor's house#they brought him back and he looked very weak and with blood all over#my sister called a friend of hers who's a vet and she came to see him and adviced to take him to a vet clinic#cause he was bloated and there was air(?) and her face was worried when she said that cause.. where does air come from#plus he was breathing weird#i had the worst panic attack the whole time since they brought him from the neighbor's house until they left with him#i couldn't even speak cause i couldn't stop crying#now i'm calm but i'm so worried#if my sister hadn't come home today boris would be still hurt and locked in my bitch neighbor's house#cause my mom thought i was being paranoid :( she wasn't going to ask around#cause she thought boris would come back since he's been missing before#also my sister's the only one who can drive#:(#i'm so angry cause that bitch next door heard me calling boris name all afternoon and didn't say shit#i hate her. not only bc of this but she's suck a snake in general. she's always gossiping shit about everyone#she didn't do anything and locked him in a room for like 7 hours. maybe those hours were crucial#idk. if boris dies i'm gonna do some crazy shit to this bitch so she'll have a reason to call me crazy
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running-in-the-dark · 1 year ago
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I think I mentioned a few weeks ago that my mother waited outside our house for an hour, after texting me 'are you awake yet?', at a time when she (clearly) knew I wouldn't be, because she was riding her bike and decided to stop by.
well, she did it again.
I only knew that she came by, and when my husband opened the door she said she just wanted to come by for a visit. he was in a work meeting and I was in bed (not asleep) so he said it wasn't a good time, and she left.
then I visited her yesterday, and she told me that she had waited for over an hour that time too. except this time she started talking to a neighbour. she told me alllll about it.
I.. hate that she keeps doing this? it feels incredibly intrusive to me. I told her after the first time that she can 1. just ring the fucking doorbell right away!, and 2. that it would be best if she just texted me before coming here (ideally the day before).
it doesn't feel like she's being respectful or considerate - which is what she clearly thinks she's doing. she doesn't listen when I say that it's a bit weird that she does this. she always comes by when she thinks I'm still asleep. it would be rude as fuck if I went to her house at 3:00 repeatedly!
I don't know, it's so hard to explain why this bothers me so much, but it does. it feels awful.
especially when she told me about her conversation with that neighbour. there was a lot there that made me incredibly uncomfortable. I mean, just the fact that she talked about us to a stranger that we have to live next to feels bad. but of course that wasn't enough, she had to keep repeating that he said she's soo different from me because I'm sooo quiet and don't talk a lot, haha isn't that just so funny?! and other crap like that.
I just don't like it! I want her to stop! but I know that she won't. because she thinks it's a fun and nice thing to do (it would be if we had a completely different relationship! but we don't!) so she will keep doing it, no matter what I say. I mean, I've told her twice now that I don't like it and I'd rather she lets me know first, but she just thought that was hilarious and I'm just being weird.
I can't stop thinking that I'm overreacting and making a big deal out of nothing but it feels so bad. 😭
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,
#there are nicer weys to tell someone the need to go take a shower that you know yelling at them that they stink and it is unpleasant to be#around them#like just yelling at me that i need to go shower literally doesn't motivate me to#especially bc i was planning on doing it on Monday bc i had already showered yesterday#maybe she could have sed to me : hey you took a shower yesterday but still smell like sweat ( is everything okay)#the answer is no#i am on vacation but i am so fucking stressed i keep sweating bc of it#but she just wanted to yell at me so i guess it doesn't matter#she is angry and as always i am her punching bag#i told her that the magnifying glass made no difference since i can already see the flowers clearly i get yelled at#i tell her that i prefer to stey home and do hw i get yelled at#i didn't do my hw bc she made me go out i get yelled at#and after all that i get out of the shower and she asked me if i want to let her blowdry my hair like nothing happened#no ofc i don't want#to#i just had a breakdown on the shower that she triggerd i h*rt myself and i am now in pain bc of that#i don't want you anywhere near me#i honestly feel like i am going insane#how can she do that to me#and i literally ahave no proof except that i go on record mode anytime she speaks but it's always her word against mine#i am pretty sure in a few hours i will be blaming myself for everything#one moment she screams at me and the other she pretends that nothing happened#but yeah i am sure i am just making it up#/s
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invisibleoctopus · 2 years ago
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starting to think im a bard of void instead of being a knowledge class. i have the whole bardic crisis thing (oct 13 2013. sunday) the whole opposite aspect thing before that (Gifted Kid TM where part of my personality was bring smart. is very lightcore) and just how i seem to destroy everything i touch.
my aversion to lying and how terrible i am at it because its on a physical level in my body and i have to script it in advance (yes this is mostly autism) and not liking to keep secrets and being a blabbermouth. destroying void.
destroyed by void. getting FADED with weed. self isolation and most of my time being spent gaming or on the computer/phone. my awful terrible recurring dreams (dreams are void) that i have a fucking tag for. but the horrors have become almost mundane with how repetitive they are in my dreams and thats why i dont call them nightmares
#le p2iigh#the 'this classpect perfectly describes all my flaws' type of classpecter#no but my dreams are always like. im in school and i dont know why they wont let me drop out.#dont know if its college or What. but sometimes my former therapist is there. the one i had a crush on.#thats a thing i have with male mentor/teacher figures because of a Very Specifc Reason#other things that are always in my dreams. my dorm on the 3rd floor im always trying to figure out what clothes to wear whats clean#packing so i can go to the house that im living at that is specifically not home. wondering when i can go home to check on the cats#wondering why home looks so different its almost unrecognizable. my uncle is there. always. mom always has something Wrong with her#things being on fire near wherever im staying like next door across the street. most recently like the whole neighborhood.#not beating the doom player allegations with these descriptions.#heres more void coded things abt the dreams. being in/around bodies of water. theres one particular river i go to a lot its past some woods#the woods area separates the river and i walk upstream until i come across the widest part and the initial fork#theres always various Creatures in the water that im scared of.#this happens whenever im on the coast and in the ocean too. except sometimes theres stuff that wants to eat me#and thats not counting the kinnie dreams. either its ocean stuff that reminds me of being link.#or its like. i guess side order levels or something. and also more cursed than usual salmon run. on cursed stages. eels chasing me#(obvoiusly the agent 8 kinnie dreams)#my real life anxieties about the cat litter and taking a shower meaning i dream about having to do those things.#trying to find a place to lie down and sleep that feels comfortable for me but its impossible#thats. most of the recurring things in my dreams. my brain is tired and i interrupted myself doing Tasks for this.#i didnt expect to ramble about the recurring nature of all of these dream things. and obviously the tag is going here#adventures in losap#< the dream tag
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lavender---sunshine · 2 years ago
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i am so deep in my feelings right now, i both sad and mad enough that i cannot sleep
#ive been angry oscillating between angry and sad pretty much the whole day#i had a rare saturday off and i feel like i wasted half of it for my mom and she didnt appreciate it#i wanted to take her to somewhere new for brunch and a cool bookstore and to get our nails donw#and she drove like 30 minutes in the wrong direction and wouldnt listen to me and tried to blame it on me#im not allowed to be sick on my own. she has to be sick too. if i have a headache so does she and worse#if im nauseous in the afternoon she 'threw up' that morning. she'll say its something we ate even if we ate nothing in common#ive broken our in hives that keep popping up and the whole day she was acting as if she was itchy too AND dizzy.#we had to stop multiple times because she was so dizzy. im not saying she was lying but it stopped her from cleaning#she didnt want the original breakfast place near the bookstore and salon and when we got to the second one it was closed#found a third but she didnt want to deal with parking. went to option 4 and she didnt like her food.#she also kept asking me what she was getting instead of just ordering herself. 'what was it that i wanted? yes can you tell her i want xyz'#(and let me just say i have 0 patience left for people who cant do anything themselves. helplessness is a hard hard no for me#we didnt go to the bookstore or the salon and shes like oh okay tomorrow. i told her i had plans and shes like oh you always make plans#with your friends and none with me. Girlfriend. what are we doing right now?#went home to try to clean up our apartment and got overwhelmed when i realized i have to do everything myself because she no help#while she laid down and watched pitch perfect for the 1000th time#im also trying to figure out how to tell an ex friend i dont want them back in my life because theyre so much work#but i dont have room in my life to have that conversation. im also probably going to start looking for a different job soon#i just want my parents gone. my apartment furnished. free time. and a vacation.
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deputygonebye · 2 years ago
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Alexandria is the community in which Shane finds his "forever" home. A place to call his own, a place to find the peace that he's always searched for, finally, he welcomes domestic life again. Under the leadership of Aaron and Gabriel, he tries to adjust to the idea that, for the first time since the Outbreak, he won't have to leave a sanctuary in time. Not being an official leader to the community has caused some tension - Shane's never liked being a follower - he has found an avenue to spend that energy and desire, however. As Head of Security, taking over the position from Michonne, and as member of the Council and acting as full-time guard/soldier, Shane's found his spot. He's comfortable. For the first time in years, decades.
Between his responsibilities as a member of the Alexandria community and as Judith's daddy, Shane dedicates many hours of his life looking for clues of Rick. Within the boarders of Alexandria, toward the outskirts of the woods and trees, he's always searching for his dearest friend, his beloved brother, who disappeared on that bridge. Trading information with others in the neighboring communities, friends from when it all started, though Shane is certain that he's looking for a body, if there's to be anything left at all, he does try. For Jude's sake - she's so certain that Rick's alive - least for a little while before he calls off the search entirely. He grieves for Rick twice.
But Alexandria is where he goes. It's where Shane stays. He's content within her warmth. For everything that he could ask for is there, then: his home, his daughter, his sense of peace. Shane's happy.
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