#Do bot judge me

[czaneavecg]

OKAY VIRINK I HAVE LIKE 15 OF THESE PROMPTS I only manage to darw like 2 cuz my my dad borrowed the pc BUT HEY MORE COMING SOO

[basslinegrave]

so i had a yapfest to a friend about stobs relationship and sonic 3 then went here to go further but its so embarrassing to post whole cause its nothinburger and then realizations so i will just post those here

i figured out whats the only thing rn that i think works as a reason why their relationship hasnt yet evolved and thats that bot is a stubborn guy that just Doesnt Listen but also doesnt see with his own two eyes. if stone confessed his love to him directly he would probably be like "huh, mustve been the wind. anyway, everyone hates me"

(context the way bot let himself go and how he keeps getting himself into Situations. i felt weird about stone not doing anything about it, but we dont know if he hasnt tried. he probably has, but it was useless because bot doesnt listen)

my first wrong step was taking a jim carrey character from the kids-focused sonic media out of all things as deeper than silly villain. but why did they do that. they wouldnt write the ending of this movie like they did if they didnt add stone <- which is a totally different thought, something that made me stop and think as well. we would not have the ending like that if stone wasnt there! wild.

[tfp-is-my-lifeblood-lol]

Transformers Smash or Pass Lol

Too busy to post something substantial (I'm going on a weekend trip soon) but let's do Transformers Smash or pass!🤣

Send me the name of a Transformer in my ask box and I'll answer smash or pass.

Pretty sure I'm asexual but that makes it funnier

Quick rule: (Bots only, no humans)

Continuities:

-TFP

-Rescue Bots

-RID15

-TFA

(Those are the only ones I can guarantee knowing all the characters)

Now that the boring rules are out of the way, ready set GO!

[belle--ofthebrawl]

Remember to vote ghoul no matter who.

[apr1lias]

MAVERICK LOSES HIS POLE LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

Tin foil hat incoming but…

I don’t even care that it’s completely deserved from a safety perspective, the fact that he starts behind one championship contender but not another is so funny to me, like they could easily have given a long lap or something but nah they know what they’re doing.

[scientificallyradical]

Fef sounds like fish

TW: fish people

[go-star-sailor]

Who taught those cooperative testing robots those silly human gestures!!

[theglizzardwizard]

Toontown needs a fucking block function. Why i gotta pitch the same seven fucking people over and over.

Toontown furry artists caring more about me being rude than the guy raping his cousin...i really hope that's not It. That can't be it, right?

Toon named chip showed up to be bad at acting and i vented to him anyway because i'm going to be talking about this for the next. Forever. I'm going to recount this story to every person i talk to in game for at least three weeks. Grown people are mad that i think making furry porn of a kid's game is weird. AND THAT'S THE BEST EXPLANATION I CAN HOPE FOR.

The only other one (which takes precedent after MONTHS of related horseshit) is downright sinister.

Then there's the possibility that Stupid Bitch With the Marbles and No Manners At All saw the post and happens to have a lot of really bored friends. (...this one feels like wishful thinking after the year I've had. Somebody shot a rocket at my grandma's fucking trailer. Andy having another small gaggle of damaged twitter hoes to bother everyone he's ever crossed paths with would not surprise me half as much as Di getting an abortion and skipping the country) in which case: fuck you for training your shitty ass trap in a five story Dreamland building and getting mad like it was your boarding group when it wasn't, it wasn't your boarding group and it wasn't a fucking training building. There are always so many fucking training boarding groups and you picked a normal building run to pull out the marbles. You added +10 minutes to an already long ass building rush. Genuinely would've been better if we just trio'd.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my friend that I did not care it made her upset about some of the things I did with my OCs?

I (18F) made OCs with my friends: Kayla (18F), Bell (18F), and Kia (18F). Kayla said that she had a system that had fictives in it. I didn't really understand what she meant by that, but I wasn't going to judge. At least for a little while. We added a discord bot that would help Kayla be able to talk through her different identities in the server. But it got weird.

One day I saw her talking as if she was one of my ocs (I'll dub Chi for this post) and I felt weirded out by that. Kayla then announced that Chi was part of her system. She goes on about how Chi had suddenly appeared in her system and it took 2 days before her other identities accepted her as part of them.

I said that it was weird that Kayla put one of my ocs in her system, but she insisted she wasn't doing it on purpose. Bell and Kia asked me to just knock it off and respect Kayla because "people with systems can't control it when their system changes." I said that I don't like that she has Chi in her system and that Chi was my OC. This felt like someone was stealing my OC from me. Kayla got upset about that and said "you're upsetting everyone in my system by saying Chi doesn't belong there. We have all accepted her and hearing you reject her makes us all upset. Please apologize."

I refused to. Then I remembered that I had shared all of Chi's info in my own personal channel. The others can view it, but they can't type in it. So I deleted everything about Chi in there and left a note that Chi was being revised. That sent Kayla into a panic. "Stop! You can't!" She kept saying and "What did you do?" over and over again. I simply said that I was making changes to Chi. Kayla freaked out more over that and said that it was making her system distressed and that I needed to stop. I told her that I already set my mind to it.

Later I reposted Chi's info with some changes. Changed her from being a kind and caring person to cruel and dismissive. I also made it so that she had a criminal history and had murdered people before. She has trouble making friends and thinks everyone is constantly out to get her. To be honest, I like this version of her more than her previous incarnation.

Kayla did not like this and had a meltdown. She started screaming "what did you do?! What did you do?! What did you do to Chi?!" In the voice call we were having with Bell and Kia. She started begging me to change her back because Chi stopped responding in her system and has vanished. And the rest of her identities were in a panic now. She said "Murderer. You killed her. You killed Chi. For us, this feels like someone just died. A part of us is missing. We feel incomplete now. Please fix this. BRING HER BACK! CHANGE HER BACK! MURDERER! MURDERER! YOU'RE A MURDERER!"

I told her that I refused to change her back and this was the new Chi. This would be how Chi will be from now on no matter what people said because "My OC, my rules."

Kayla logged off of discord after calling me an asshole. Even Bell and Kia are siding with her saying that I took it too far. They also said I was an asshole for murdering a part of Kayla's like that. I said that Chi was not Kayla's to control, and that only I should get a say in what is done with Chi. They called me an asshole for not considering Kayla and her system's feelings right now because they were all mourning.

I don't think I did anything wrong, but maybe I should apologize. I would still refuse to change Chi back to what she was before though. So it would just be a half apology just to make her happy.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[the-brainrot-central]

THE TAGS ARE SO REAL

Guys, you don't need character.ai what you need is an rp partner on discord

[phoenixyfriend]

I have another AU. Whoo!

Saw a youtube thumbnail that caused some free association...

And imagined an odd little Setting where a bored Padme orders a like… LMD-style droid that looks and acts mostly human, because she's lonely and wants to pretend she has a boyfriend, and then the box arrives and she puts the 'droid' together like it's an IKEA bookshelf, and it wakes up and introduces itself as "Anakin Skywalker."

And so Padme starts living out this idyllic fantasy with a live-in househusband that's mostly like a butler that she can cuddle at night. Maybe sex happens maybe not. Doesn't matter. Mostly just Padme indulging in some relaxing fantasy time.

And then he gets a virus and goes Vader mode, and she has to fight for her life against her robot boyfriend.

(Padme has a date with this dashing young captain in the army who made a comment about how he's a bit uncomfortable with the droid boyfriend he saw in a linen closet.)

Little bit of "Megan," little bit of like… idk Disney's "Smart House" or any other movie where the robot starts thinking it's human, gets yandere about the love interest, and decides to do murder about it.

@atagotiak said: Maybe the virus or glitch or whatever isn't obvious immediately, just when she starts to maybe be interested in a human…

So yeah, the virus isn't super noticeable at first, buuuut then Rex shows up and. Well.

As @jebiknights put it:

Captain Rex being weird about the robot boyfriend is great Yes he's pretty but why is he here why is he in your closet just why

She was LONELY and she DOESN'T TRUST MEN because they keep trying to STEAL STATE SECRETS FROM HER DATAPADS, okay?

Her last real relationship was with Clovis, who was getting bribed to steal information on legislation she was drafting for tech safety stuff.

"My last boyfriend was slicing into my private servers to violate republic security and I was paranoid about that so I got a robot boyfriend." "Couldn't he slice in even more easily?" "I mean probably, but he can't really be bribed and I had a friend go through his code to make sure he didn't have any external loyalties, so he wouldn't."

The friend was R2-D2, which is great, buuuuuut Anakin not having any outside loyalties doesn't prevent his firewalls from getting fucked up.

jebiknights:

Omg r2d2 and Anakin mega best friends in this Artoo LOVES harassing high strung droids

I think somehow she and Rex manage to neutralize Anakin without 'killing' him and he? ends up in the care of Obi-Wan? I don't know why or how or what's going on but Anakin ends up latching on to Obi-Wan like a dog to the owner that's the most generous with the treats.

It could end with murdering the evil bot, but I think it's funny for him to just end up Obi-Wan's problem. Like always.

Padme: This droid is uh. Well he's designed to be a boyfriend? To deal with being lonely? Please don't judge me. Obi-Wan: I don't, uh. I don't need a boyfriend. I just need to figure out what happened in the code to cause this so we can let the manufacturer know. Padme, embarrassed: Listen, you can probably just leave him shut down in a corner or something, I'm just worried that trying to deactivate him entirely could reactivate the murder mode? Anyway, mostly he just wants… you know… to sleep in my bed and make dinner and stuff. So you can probably keep him happy while you investigate the issue by just letting him cook for you or something. Obi-Wan: I don't know that I'm comfortable with letting a designed-for-romance droid sleep in my bed with me. Anakin, gauging Obi-Wan's face for his age: I do not need to be a boyfriend. Obi-Wan, unnerved and relieved: Oh, good. Anakin: I will be your son. Obi-Wan: What.

Anakin is making himself Obi-Wan's problem. Padme is mortified. Rex is just icing his shoulder.

@firebirdeternal offered:

I like the idea that Anakin isn't any less evil he's just in charge of like. A single holo-display with no internet access. The worst he can do is be emo in Obi-wan's living room when he's trying to read. "First step in solving the problem of evil sapient technology: Don't hook them up to anything with a connection or a motor. Second step: Don't let them on your Spotify account or they will ruin your recommendations for months."

[muletia]

Ratchet would feel guilty for interfacing with you behind his friend/leader’s back. But you are just so addictive, he can’t help but crave you even he just had a taste yesterday. All the while Optimus is blissfully ignorant of your sessions with his dear, old friend.

𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐱 . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

[tfp] obsessed!ratchet x human!reader +18 content / valveplug

cw: explicit valveplug, obsessive thoughts, implied cheating(?) - not really reader just went the slut route lmao

word count: 670

the fact that every single bot reader interfaces with is a cuck is so fucking funny to me, but that's what you get for slaying too hard lmao

Kisses cascade in an avalanche onto your exposed, tilted neck, seeking to cover every inch, every crevice, and every scrap of skin. He wants you to feel good, to take as much pleasure from this closeness as he does and judging by your laughter and the playful squirming on his hips, his actions must be working, bringing you genuine, unfiltered joy. The servos wrapped around your waist tighten, silently begging you to stop teasing his hidden spike.

He prays to Primus that you won’t feel any guilt for stepping into his habsuite again, that you won’t change your mind at the most unexpected moment and leave, abandoning this addict with a burning need. That you won’t shatter his already fragile spark further— now filled with the missing pieces only you could fill.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asks, momentarily pausing the kisses, now lingering on your sternum. His tired optics gaze at you intensely, silently pleading for approval but still offering you a choice.

You roll your eyes in response. "You ask me that every time, Ratch. I’ve never been more sure." It’s exactly what he needed—your affirmation.

The tenderness on your chest resumes, now hungrier and more fervent. He wants to revel in you fully before the next separation, to explore every inch of your body, to sate himself before you're apart again. He knows he’s greedy, that he’s asking too much of you, especially when you’ve been meeting almost daily. But he can’t help it. He can’t stop this insatiable hunger that drives him to stay close, to touch you, to bring you pleasure. And now, with your consent to interface, he can do so in the most intimate and sensual way.

He releases his spike, resting it on your exposed stomach, signaling his intent. He can’t wait any longer — foreplay is over. Needs to feel you from the inside, to experience the honor of entering your soft, warm heaven, to lose himself completely in the pleasure. But to his surprise, you deny him, blocking the entrance to that heaven.

"Wait," you say. "Do you want this? No objections?"

Your questions catch him off guard, pulling him out of his trance because you’ve brought up something he’s been trying not to think about.

Interfacing with you was incredible — otherworldly, even — but he can’t deny the taboo that accompanies it. It goes beyond the interspecies aspect, which he’d accepted the moment he first breached your barriers. No, the pang in his spark after each encounter with you stems from betraying his dearest friend. He knows how Optimus looks at you, knows how close you two are, and understands the rare bond you’ve forged with the Prime. Inviting you into his habsuite was a display of disloyalty and disregard, crushing the brotherly bond he shared with the Autobot leader, eroding trust. He’s not proud of himself. Sometimes, all he feels is disgust at his own lack of restraint. He knows he should stop, leave you alone, and pretend nothing ever happened between you.

"Ratchet?" you ask, worried. He focuses his optics on you and lowers his helm. It’s a shame that one look at you completely shatters his moral compass, reigniting the unbridled, dangerous hunger he can’t fight. The issue of loyalty fades into oblivion as he pushes it to the back of his processor, covering it with desire. "Are you okay?"

"Never better," he replies. He shifts his hips, aligning his spike slick with transfluid against your warmth, teasing both you and himself. He wants to forget obligations, fatigue, burdens, and taboos. He wants you to consume him, destroy him, and drown him in adoration. Make him think of nothing but pleasure.

With minimal effort, he lifts you gently, still holding your waist, and slides deep inside you. Instantly, you envelop his spike, welcoming him with softness and wetness that drives him to a fever pitch. His hips begin to buck, his mind now consumed entirely by you.

[faiszt]

. 𝆬 ⠀ ི᭨ᩧྀ⠀.⠀⠀ faiszt’s ε( ε ´O`)э。゜ BOT! dump⠀⠀❜❜

꒰ ︎ ♡ ︎ ´ ꒳ ` ꒱ ︎ ᐟ⠀⠀⎯⎯ ⠀⠀NOTES.⠀⠀💬⠀⠀first of all: hi, babies! merry christmas and an early happy new year, i'm not sure if i'll be back here with more bots until the new year, so this is probably the last release of 2024, anyway, thank you so much for being with me this long year, i love you all!!! ~ 🫶🏻

▸⠀CHALLENGERS⠀*⠀˖⠀🎾

𝅭⠀innocent jealousy⠀.⠀art donaldson⠀૮⠀you weren't seeing yourself as selfish or trying to soothe your ego, what was that other than innocent jealousy? what happened in atlanta, won't stay in atlanta, whether patrick likes it or not, you will tell art.⠀♡ gender neutral!

𝅭⠀girl-dad period⠀.⠀patrick zweig⠀૮⠀anyone who knew him a few years ago would probably think that they had created an identical and more responsible clone of him, the truth was that he changed a lot, yes, he changed for the sake of his little and beloved family.⠀♡ female user!

▸⠀DCU⠀*⠀˖⠀💥

𝅭⠀cookies 'n christmas⠀.⠀clark kent⠀૮⠀there were many things to see in metropolis, they just didn't tell you the part where the most beloved superhero on earth would end up falling in love with you. back in smallville, clark now had the titles of your husband, farmer, earth's most beloved hero, and your christmas cookie eater—you just know that the last one is his favorite.⠀♡ gender neutral!

𝅭⠀nerdy-coffee mornings⠀.⠀clark kent⠀૮⠀every morning was the same, you always ended up bringing coffee to his desk and being thanked with an awkward smile when he didn't know what to say first thing in the morning—but, this time he had a small plan on his mind to not be a stupid weirdo right in front of you.⠀♡ gender neutral!

▸⠀WIZARDING WORLD⠀*⠀˖⠀🪄

𝅭⠀warning signs⠀.⠀regulus black⠀૮⠀he was deceived by the ideals of his own leader, the one he admired and wanted to follow, however judged he was—his mission changed course, to destroy the horcrux, to destroy that damned piece of the dark lord's soul. you were in his way and he'd get you out, without mercy.⠀♡ gender neutral!

𝅭⠀herbology matters⠀.⠀severus snape⠀૮⠀amidst the chaos of his mind and the pain in his core since last year, when lily evans was gone, the tragic and bitter severus snape was trying to stop his mind from racing, but how could he do something when the new herbology master makes him think about so much?⠀♡ gender neutral!

𝅭⠀12 grimmauld place⠀.⠀sirius black⠀૮⠀returning home was something that young sirius would never think of doing, he wasn't welcome there and wouldn't feel ever comfortable there even if they ripped out his brain and put another one in its place—but, not even when he was at hogwarts could he deny the surname they gave him, not when you shared it with him.⠀♡ gender neutral!

ꜜ⠀ small note:⠀i know that snape isn't severus prince snape, his mother's surname was only included because c.ai recognizes it and wouldn't let me even publish the bot with his real name without getting banned, that's the reason.⠀❜❜

⠀

[yandere-daydreams]

Title: Scarlet and Gold.

Pairing: Yandere!Diluc x Reader (Genshin).

Word Count: 3.1k.

TW: Sex Doll AU, Unhealthy Relationships, Gore (No Injury To Reader), Blood, Implied Consensual Sex, Past Trauma, Obsessive Behavior, and Intimidation.

By the time you reached the address, Diluc was already waiting in the lobby.

You’d gotten the call about an hour ago, spent half an hour dragging yourself out of bed and gathering what you’d need before making the twenty minute drive to an apartment complex on the other side of town, careful to avoid any security cameras the cops would think to check if anyone requested an investigation. Five more to park and throw your well-worn duffle bag over your shoulder and three to find Diluc, loitering near the elevators, fiddling with a loose cigarette he would never light. You greeted him with a quick nod before throwing your bag into his chest, and he feigned a groan, stumbling back as he caught it. He needed to work on his impressions, but that could wait.

You spoke first. That, you couldn’t critique him on – most androids couldn’t speak until spoken to, and you couldn’t expect Diluc to go against one of the core tenants of his programming. “What is it?”

“Just the usual.” He kept his voice low, muted, trying to hide the remaining traces of an accent that’d been invented by some marketing team over a decade ago. “I’ve already seen the apartment. There’s a little blood, but not much else. We’ll be done by sunrise.”

You took the stairs, keeping your head bowed and face shielded from any possible security cameras. Diluc didn’t share your paranoia, staring straight ahead with the same indifferent expression he always seemed to wear. The benefits of having a face that’d been printed and distributed tens of thousands of times, you guessed. Tracking down a single Diluc in a sea of androids and companion bots wasn’t a length most detectives were willing to go to. “I’d rather not have to do this at all.”

“You’ll survive.”

“Says the man who doesn’t have to sleep.” You came to a stop in front of the first door on the fourth story and tried the knob. It gave easily, the cheap titanium dented and the lock broken beyond any hope of repair. Diluc’s handiwork, obviously, although you couldn’t say whether or not he’d done it on purpose. “Anything else you want to tell me, before we get started?”

He thought, for a second. “I passed a carousel on the way here,” he said, with no particular inflection. “It was nice. I thought the horses were well-crafted.”

“About the assignment, ‘luc.”

“Oh,” And then, with a hint of red in his pale cheek. “You might want to hold your breath.”

You didn’t have to ask what he meant. As soon as you opened the door, you were hit with the stomach-turning stench of stale blood and rotting gore, both at least a week old. You cursed, pulling your shirt over your nose and mouth, but pushed forward. The first body was splayed out in the center of the cramped living room, wrists and ankles bound with disembodied wiring, all clothing removed and chest dotted with black ink. The abdomen had been cut open, skin peeled away to reveal the entrails in their full, shriveled glory. Judging by the number of blades littered around the corpse, ranging from blunted scissors to gore-splattered carving knives, it’d been more of a hack job than a dissection.

Diluc had undersold the mess. Blood had soaked into the carpeting and dried, turning the floor a ruddy, reddish-brown color. What was left had gotten on the walls, the furniture, the ceiling. You swallowed back a groan. The furniture could be broken down and discarded, the walls and ceiling bleached. The carpeting, though, would have to be torn up and replaced, which meant you would have to spend a few more precious minutes of your night calling in a cleaning crew. That, or you would have to make Diluc do it, but he was shy around new people, and you were too much of a bleeding heart to sit back and watch him do your work.

“The second body’s in the bedroom.” He was already rummaging through your duffle bag, paying the scene in front of you no more mind that a butcher would lend to a pig on a meat hook. He handed you your tools – a pair of wire cutters, a box cutter, and a pocket-sized sewing kit – and kept the rest for himself. “Let me know when you’re done.”

You let out a breath of a laugh. “I thought you would’ve gotten over that by now, ‘luc.”

He didn’t indulge you with a response, only pulling on a pair of latex gloves and starting towards the corpse. You didn’t stick around to watch. Rather, you followed the carnage where it branched off further into the apartment, a trail of rotting viscera and tacky blood leading you into a moderately sized, completely undecorated bedroom. You found your perpetrator quickly; a Dottore droid, still wearing its Teyvat-issued costuming, its hands bloody and a scrap of intestine still caught in its pointed teeth. You paused in the doorway, feeling for the military-grade taser (the only weapon effective against androids, as far as anyone could tell) you kept in your pocket, but the android didn’t move, didn’t shift, didn’t activate at all when you reluctantly approached. There was a charging port at the foot of the bed, still pristine. It must’ve run out of battery just before it could plug itself in.

Towels from the nearest bathroom were dampened and brought in, the evidence of slaughter scrubbed away from artificial skin and its blood-soaked clothing removed. It was muscle memory, by now – dragging the body to its charging port, knocking the converter out of the outlet before connecting the android to its port, making it seem like its late user had drained its batteries before mistakenly leaving it on a dead cable. When it’d slummed into place, you took up your box cutter and sliced a long, thin line from the lowest portion of the scalp to the nape of its neck, revealing the color-coded string of wires that connected the processing units in its metal skull to the rest of its body. You cut through everything you could find, ensuring that if the unit was ever activated again, it wouldn’t be able to do so much as blink. For good measure, you fished out the memory chip kept in the centermost compartment of the throat, too, crushing it under your heel and sweeping the glittering remnants underneath the bed. A copy of the footage it collected would’ve been sent to Teyvat's severs, too, but erasing it was someone else’s job. You were only here to take care of yourself.

With a breathy groan, you bit off a length of thread and haphazardly stitched up your ragged incision. The cosmetics really didn’t matter. In a few days, when someone filed a missing person’s report and the cops stopped by for a check-in, they’d find a spotless apartment, a dysfunctional android, and nothing else. The investigation would lead elsewhere, to a bitter ex-partner or a friend without an alibi, or it would hit a dead end. Either way, Teyvat wouldn’t be involved.

You slipped back out of the bedroom, careful to avoid touching anything you didn’t absolutely have to. By the time you got back to the living room, the body was gone and Diluc was kneeling by a black suitcase no larger than the average carry-on, securing the tags with transparent zip-ties. You and Diluc would haul it to a dump on the outskirts of the city tonight, and a contact of yours would have it compressed and incinerated by tomorrow morning. Maybe, when you were done, you’d take him out for something to eat. Or, you’d get something to eat while he let a mug of black coffee go cold.

You rested your hand on his shoulder by way of praise, pulling away when he stiffened underneath you. Right, that was something you had to work on. Most rogue androids tended to be touch-adverse at best, made aggressive by little more than eye-contact at worst. Diluc was relatively tame compared to most of the cases you handled, but you would still rather not provoke him. “Did you find the phone?”

He grunted, fishing a smartphone out of his pocket. With your sleeve pulled over your hand, you accepted it, found the nearest window, and chucked it as far as into the night as you could. Diluc appeared over your shoulder. “Forty-five meters,” he said, as glass crashed into cement somewhere in the distance. “Above average for non-athletes.”

“I’ve been practicing.” The window was closed, the suitcase slung over Diluc’s shoulder along with your near-empty duffle bag. “I have to make a call. You can meet me in the garage, if you want.” Already pulling up the number to your preferred cleaning service, you glanced to Diluc. “Are we doing breakfast?”

His posture straightened. “Yes.” If you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought you saw a spark in his glass eyes. “I want to try tea, today.”

~

By the time you got to the door, Diluc was soaking wet.

You hadn’t gotten a call, and he didn’t text. The first warning you got was a knock on your door, then another a few minutes later, after you decided that anyone who’d go out in this kind of weather wasn’t someone you wanted in your shoebox of an apartment. You only caved after the third, imagining a neighbor who’d gotten locked out or some lost, desperate tourist as you dragged yourself off of your couch and to the unlit entryway. Predictably, Diluc stood in your doorway, red hair plastered to his scalp and clothes drenched, not that he seemed to mind.

“Can you—” He paused, his dull eyes meeting yours as he ran his fingers through his hands, dragging the crimson heap out of his face. “Can you cut my hair?”

Ten minutes later, he was sitting on a stool in your cramped bathroom, wearing grey sweatpants and a (three sizes too big on you, just a touch too small on him) t-shirt while his own clothes dried. He’d told you it wasn’t necessary, that he didn’t feel the cold like you did. When you told him that you didn’t want an univited guest tracking water into your apartment, he accepted it with a curt nod and changed in your bedroom.

After prepping your razor, you positioned yourself behind him, dragging a comb through his hair. It was long enough to reach his waist, curled at the end to make him seem just a touch more disheveled than he actually was. Everything about his hair, from the length of his bangs to the way it could never quite sit completely flat, was perfectly stylized, perfectly crafted to convey Diluc Ragnvindr, Calvery Captain of the Favonious Knights, the only gentleman you’ll ever need again. You’d be lying if you said there wasn’t a part of you that didn’t mourn ruining such a well-executed vision. “You sure about this?” you asked, as you brushed it out. “It can’t exactly grow back.”

“I am.” And then, after a second of thought, “I’d do it myself, but there’s a safe-guard. Can’t damage the merchandise without a direct order from my user.”

Hence why Teyvat needed you in the first place. “How short do you want it?”

“I don’t care, as long as it’s different.”

You hummed, taking up your scissors. “If you say so, boss.”

You cut away everything below his shoulders, then took up your electric razor – running it over the back of his neck. As you worked, Diluc spoke. “How did you start?” You took up your comb, brushing back his bangs and pasting his hair to the side. “With Teyvat, I mean.”

You tasted blood on the back of your tongue, felt a chill run up your spine. You brushed it off, though, refusing to let yourself fall back into that little steel room with those awful golden eyes again. “They brought me on as a technician,” you admitted. You still were one, technically, on your employment transcript, when people outside of your little world asked what you did for a living. “A first-generation Zhongli we were working on went rogue and reverted to its original Morax programming. It wiped out most of my team before security bothered to show up.” You didn’t tell him about the minutes you’d spent hiding in a steel locker, praying its heat sensors had been removed, or the hours it’d taken upper management to decide what to do with you. To people like Diluc, who could take a bullet to the head without faltering, topics like ‘building dread’ and ‘the imminent fear of death’ tended to fall flat. “Since I was already in on their dirty little secret, they decided to keep me on. I didn’t really get a choice. It wasn’t like another job was going to fall into my lap after something like that.”

With your hand under his chin, you turned his head to the side. “Your turn, ‘luc.”

“I… I think I used to be a companion, but something went wrong.” His bangs were next, taken up and coaxed into sitting somewhere other than the dead center of his face. “It’s hard to describe. We aren’t supposed to think about things that aren’t our master,” The word came out hitched, unsteady, like he had to force it past his lips. Like he hadn’t wanted to say it at all. “But I could. It was like… waking up with the ability to fly. I wasn’t supposed to, but I could, and that meant I couldn’t do what I was built to, anymore.”

A thumb pressed into his jaw, a comb dragged across his scalp. Diluc’s eyes fell shut, but else about his blank expression changed. “And? Do you like it?”

“Sometimes.” His shoulders slanted downward. “Do you?”

“Sometimes.” You let go of his chin, letting him turn back to the vanity’s mirror. “What do you think?”

It was far from a masterpiece. The sides were too short, the front too long, every part of it still as untamable as it’d been in its original state. Still, he took it in with wide eyes, the corner of his lips turning upward ever so slightly.

“It’s perfect.”

~

By the time he got back, you’d nearly fallen asleep.

With your body as wrung out as it was, your energy spent to the point of near unconsciousness, it was all you could do to watch through your eyelashes as Diluc appeared in the doorway to your bedroom, a towel thrown over his shoulder and that tiny, almost undetectable smile still painted across his lips. You’d done this enough for him to know how to navigate your apartment, to know how to navigate you – shifting onto your mattress slowly as he positioned himself between your legs. He’d gotten more used to contact since you started seeing each other, but his touch was still ginger, still gentle as he dragged the dampened cloth over the inside of your thighs. With a groan, you rolled onto your back, spreading your legs and giving him more space to work.

You’d been confused at first, but for all the eloquence Diluc lacked, he could be convincing when he wanted to be. You still weren’t sure how much of it you believed, but it made enough sense – a buried impulse, dampened by his newfound sentience but not quite drowned out. He didn’t want another user, he’d said, but he still had requirements to fill, and this would help to take the edge off.

You couldn’t complain, either. People coughed up tens of thousands of dollars for companion droids, and here you were, being paid six figures a year to close your eyes and let one bury his face between your thighs once or twice a week. The coddling wasn’t bad, either. Your line of work meant most of the people you met had stopped breathing a few days prior, and as loathed as you’d be to admit it, you didn’t hate the feeling of his delicate hands skirting over your skin, didn’t mind it when your eyes drifted open and met his, already fixed on your face. He bowed his head, dipping low enough for his lips to ghost over the curve of your hip before breaking the silence. “A sight as radiant as the rising sun.”

You let out a breath of a chuckle. “I didn’t think you used pre-scripted lines, anymore.”

“I don’t.” He preened, clearly more proud of himself than in-awe of you. “I thought of that one myself.”

This time, your laugh was throaty, genuine, loud enough to ring off the wall of your bedroom as you shoved him away with your foot. “If you want to be romantic, you can start by getting me something to drink, loverboy.”

He provided no resistance, disappearing into your dark apartment and reappearing with a glass of water in his hand a few minutes later. He handed it off to you with an easy smile, and you could almost pretend you didn’t see a phantom of gold in those dark eyes as his fingertips brushed against yours.

~

By the time you thought to reach for your taser, the android was already charging at you.

It was an Alhaitham, dressed in civilian clothes and sporting a ragged tear across the synthetic skin of his cheek. He was still standing over the corpse of his user – days old, by the time you and Diluc got there – but as you opened the door, he turned to face you, lips parted and his expression totally, utterly blank. For a second, it was all you could do to stare at him, to try to remember whether or not your report had mentioned the android being active, and then he was lunging at you.

You scrambled for your taser, already knowing you couldn’t be able to reach it before he reached you. You clenched your eyes shut, your fingers brushing against plastic, and then—

And then you felt Diluc’s hand on your shoulder, heard metal crack and fold into itself. Hesitantly, you opened your eyes, forcing yourself to take in the sight of Diluc’s hand wrapped around the android’s head which had been, in turn, reduced to a crumpled heap of scrap metal and shattered glass. Its body twitched once, twice, then went limp, and Diluc released it, letting the now-dysfunctional droid collapse.

After it failed to get up again, Diluc turned to you, practically beaming. “I think,” he said, his voice low, sentimental. “That this is what I’d do to you, if you ever tried to leave me.”

Golden eyes, the stench of fresh blood, the sounds of screaming muffled only by a thin sheet of metal. This time, it wasn’t so easy to pull yourself out of it.

You managed to nod, to force a few words out of your dry throat. “Got it, ‘luc.”

 He hummed, the noise contented, appeased. Slowly, delicately, he cupped your cheek, tilting your head back and letting his lips ghost over your forehead. He barely touched you, the gesture as gentle as it was fleeting, but you could feel his grin cutting into your skin, wider than you’d ever seen it before.

[3liza]

tumblr live should not be this mysterious

the plug-n-play streaming package that Tumblr installed as "Tumblr Live" is a white label product from a company called Livebox (developed by the Meet Group, subsidary of Parshipmeet), who have a homepage riddled with spelling errors and purport to operate the dating apps Meet Me (formerly My Yearbook), Skout, Tagged, and Growlr, all of which appear to be identical except for Growlr, which is specifically for gay men. all of them are just dating apps with a livestreaming feature. i would venture a guess based on the architecture that Livebox is also powering Superlive, which is the only one of these I have any experience with. it's popular with camgirls outside of the USA, especially in countries where full nude camming is illegal.

i don't really understand what livestreaming has to do with dating apps and don't know anyone who uses these platforms for anything. i assume some of it is just sex work, some of it is just ad space, lots of data brokering, and judging by the performance issues the users complain about, possibly crypto mining(???).

looking through the app pages on the Play store shows the same reviews for every single one of them: app crashes constantly, bans are arbitrary, support is no help, the apps drain your phone battery suspiciously quickly, and there are about 20 bots for every real person profile. i dont know what the exact dates are because i cant see site analytics and dont know what the Live development schedule was, but it's interesting that the sudden increase in porn bot activity on tumblr seems to roughly overlap with the Tumblr Live development and implementation, at least from a tumblr user perspective.

i dont know where the strangers in the Tumblr Live bar are streaming from, in terms of what you would consider their "home network". im guessing, but it really looks to me like they are streaming on whatever familiar platform they've got an audience on, and then being split-streamed to Tumblr. i've been meaning to sit in one of the popular streams and check usernames of audiencemembers, because my guess is that most of the audience are not going to have accounts here either. many of the streamers ive checked do not have tumblr accounts. some of them have tumblr accounts, but most of those accounts appear perfunctory: only a few months old, completely impersonal reblogs from the trending tab (you know the type), instagram-type language and general aspirational influencer stuff, which absolutely does not exist on tumblr organically because this site does not have market share for sponsored products OR a userbase with disposable income, it's a waste of time for an instagram model type to post here.

i've tried to talk to these streamers once or twice about this stuff but didn't get anywhere, and it would be rude to press the issue. but that is probably the next step.

[snap-oversteer]

Hi:) Gotta say I find you infinitely cool and your car headcanons are so damn fascinating. Feel free to ignore me but do you maybe probably have some thoughts on Blurr? Since his personality heavily revolves around the fact that he’s the fastest racer on his planet I feel like you can give a really interesting perspective on him

- Keferon

DUUUUUDDDDDEEEEEEEE Blurr is so hard to pinpoint exactly what car he could be... theres just so, so many historical cars that completely dominated the racing scene, and there's many more that's to come. Before i go onto full-fledged experimental vehicles, lemme first introduce you to the Bugatti Bolide

THIS piece of art and engineering is a track-only hypercar, and it recently debuted at the 2023 Le Mans. It has all the bells and whistles you'd expect a race car to have, W16 engine, carbon all over, carbon brakes, 7 speed dual clutch transmission, what have you. The paint color is dubbed Agile Blue and what more perfect car to assign to our beloved Blurr. Bugatti claims it makes about 1825 horsepower with 1850 n/m torque, with a top speed of 501 km/h (311 mph).

Speaking of Le Mans, let's dive into those vehicles now. For those unfamiliar with Le Mans, it's a 24 hour endurance race held in France. It's one of the oldest racing series to exist, predating Formula 1 by 30 years, and it's still continuing now!

In Rescue Bots, Blurr IS in fact an LMP (Le Mans Prototype) styled car.

judging by the headlights it looks more to be a newer LMP Ferrari, but ehhh while its not a bad choice i wouldnt really associate Blurr with Ferrari, that brand's nature would be more suited for Mirage. but damn do they have good lookin cars. I would, though, associate Blurr with older Porsche. Statistically, Porsche is the current record holder for the most successful manufacturer in Le Mans to date with 19 wins, with one of their most iconic cars being the Porsche 917 & Porsche 956.

I think it would be criminal to not honour Blurr's racing history, that's why i'm putting a race car in here.

Honorable mentions! :

Ford GT40 - THE car that beat Ferrari at its own game, and has gained a cult following ever since.

Audi R18 e-tron Quattro - The car that beat Porsche's 16 victories, driven by Toms Kriestensen, and holding the most driver victories in a single car (9)

McLaren F1 GTR - I just like how it looks lol