#Do Not Buy This Game

[prostocupoftea]

Sometimes PC stands for "Player Cat"

aka these games made me feel like a cat pushing a glass off a table so i drew it.

The Cat Parable

C.a.t., Stop

There Is No Cat

The Catridor

(i know he says "how dare you" not when you push the button but when you boot up a game... which is even funnier... but im an artist, its gonna be like dat in my comic-)

Do Not Buy This Cat Demo

Extras! Character design sheet and some uni sketches (:

[mxsamwood]

My Presentation On Why You Guys Should Watch/Play The “Do Not Buy This Game”

[okayto]

Mini-Reviews: Game Demos I Have Played Lately

Vampire Therapist

Guide vampires through centuries of emotional baggage, decades of delusions and the odd bout of self-loathing with real cognitive behavioral therapy concepts and become a Vampire Therapist! Even vampires need a shoulder to cry on when a neck to bite just won’t do.

This visual novel is fun, humorous, and also contains actual cognitive behavioral therapy concepts. Protagonist Sam, a vampire turned during the age of the Wild West, realized that vampires have a tendency to some defeatist or self-destructive thought patterns, and has reached out to an ancient compatriot to better learn how he can help other vampires. I'm no therapist, but the concepts portrayed in the game seem fairly basic—basic concepts that let the player and characters identify surface-level things and move the story along, without going deep enough to mess up or portray ~woo~ (beyond the inherent woo of, y'know, vampires). (I recommended it to my professional counselor sibling, so I'll be interested to find out if they agree with my impression.)

The demo lets you play through your first two clients. That, combined with the opening story that sees Sam getting to Germany to meet the ancient vampire who'll train him (and meeting some other characters along the way), gives you enough to decide if you'd like to try the full game. It doesn't end on a cliffhanger, but it definitely left me wanting more.

Demo Playtime: Took me about 1.5 hours

Release Date: July 2024 (demo still available as of post date)

Find It: Steam, GOG

Do Not Buy This Game

Are you really reading this to find out more? ...FINE! If you DO buy this game, expect me to narrate in your ear for around 2 hours about your poor life choices, all while I'll try to create something resembling a game for you to walk around in.

This seems like it would be incredibly appealing to people who like The Stanley Parable, a game that mostly involves walking around an eerily-empty building while a sarcastic narrator repeatedly breaks the fourth wall, because this game also involves walking around a mostly-empty space while a nervous narrator repeatedly breaks the fourth wall. I really, really liked the narrator, and found myself wishing there was a way to respond. Or make friends. (Talk to me, narrator! Tell me why you don't want me to proceed! Play a game with me!) The phrase "comedy walking sim" wouldn't have sounded interesting before, but now that I've played it, I'm eagerly awaiting more. The game has a solo developer, so it seems slow-going, but he did update just a few months ago confirming it's still being worked on.

Demo Playtime: About 20 minutes

Release Date: TBD/Unknown

Find It: Steam

The Rise of the Golden Idol

Uncover the truth behind 20 strange cases of crime, death and depravity in the 1970s. The world has changed dramatically - the sins of humanity have not.

This point-and-click detective game has you initially investigating two unrelated crime scenes, discovering clues and keywords to make deductions by correctly filling-in-the-blank, before a third scenario shows that the scenes are connected and there may be a deeper conspiracy.

I've never played another game that works this way: when you investigate a scene, you discovered keywords (such as names, locations, and actions) that are put into a word bank; to solve things you must put the correct words from that bank into the correct spots. Intriguing! I did need to check guides a couple times, but I am notably bad at deductive games (as noted in previous game reviews), so I can't say that means this is actually difficult.

This is listed as the sequel to The Case of the Golden Idol (demo also available; I haven't played it), but at least as far as the demo goes, there wasn't anything in this game that was confusing or seemed to lack context.

Demo Playtime: ~60-90 minutes

Release Date: November 2024 (demo still available as of post date)

Find It: Steam (demo and game); game without demo available available on PlayStation, Switch, Xbox, and iOS/Andriod mobile via Netflix.

Blue Prince

Welcome to Mt. Holly, where every dawn unveils a new mystery. Navigate through shifting corridors and ever-changing chambers in this genre-defying strategy puzzle adventure. But will your unpredictable path lead you to the rumored Room 46?

A strange, shifting house, and you're trying to get from one end to the other. You have a limited number of times you can pass through rooms, and you choose which rooms appear from a limited selection every time you open a new door. Within you limits, can you uncover secrets, collect items, and find a path to the final room?

This is fascinating, and it was easy to forget I was playing a demo as I spent hours trying to navigate through the house. You won't get lost—you have a map showing all current rooms—but trying to balance the limited number of rooms I could go through with options, like "should the next room be this bedroom that replenishes me, but has not other doors? Or this room that costs gold to create, but has two more doors I could leave through, potentially helping me avoid a dead-end? Part escape room, part mystery, part luck of the draw[ing room], this has a small but dedicated fanbase already, and it's easy to see why.

Demo Playtime: 6 hours and counting

Release Date: "Spring 2025" (demo still available as of post; online comments indicate it has bounced between available and unavailable in the past year)

Find It: Steam

If you’re interested in a game described above, it may also be available in other formats or platforms than what I played. If you liked this post, click my “reviews” or “video games” tags below or search on my blog to find more.

[corvustion]

i seriously have high hopes for this game.... the creator is so charming..

[noodles-and-tea]

Biyahoo!

[the-meme-monarch]

category 7 looey moment

the doodle page was drawn before all their conversations were found, but their trinket Had been, (and my sibling got the scraps convo before it was put on the wiki) so i was anticipating them being more friendly w razzle & dazzle(complimenting trinkets) and goob(both having dual colors) than they turned out to be <:] but he IS very friendly with poppy and that makes me happy. also shrimpo death threats

none of this is ship art 👍💥💥

[rottengurlz]

she’s like if the virgin mary smoked a pack of pall malls every day 🚬

[soadscrawl]

i was saying this to my best friend the other day but why are voltron aus making keith either rich or like a prince or something. why must you take his poor kid sparkle. that man knows a 7/11 slurpee he knows a walmart brand bottle of soda. he deserves to know the simple pleasure of an inflatable backyard pool. I know he got those fuckass black jeggings from a thrift store. and that fuckass mullet is from great clips. is keith kogane truly keith kogane if hes not taking his change to the coinstar at the grocery store. dont take this from my man!!!!!!

[kikker-oma]

If sketch requests are still open, I wish to see Wind, Four, Hyrule, and Time playing Monopoly.

Four is a smart man who values his life😳

[rbtlvr]

anyways ive only ever talked abt this on discord but the world needs to know so: hey guys did you know? loop's attacks in the twohats fight ALL do damage based on a percentage of your hp. did you know? the maximum base damage they can do in phase one is 17% of your health. did you know? even if you went into the game files and changed your own level to level one, loop could not one shot you from full health at any point in the fight. did you know? did you know about this?

[glassygaze]

nothing but pain and misery

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Reasons to play In Stars and Time: Canon Pronoun Warfare.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Yet another jewish privilege: Stores putting sales on holiday items because (apparently) management has no clue when "those people's" holidays are.

They put chanukah candles on sale for $0.71 a box the week before chanukah

[queer-obsession]

Just a small drabble. Kenma has a high maintenance girlfriend and has no idea (read: he doesn't care and thinks you're way too amazing for him). Song below makes me think of the dynamic

Warnings: Kenma x Fem!Reader, she/her pronouns used for reader, you're into your appearance and typical "feminine" things (by heteronormative standards) in this one, you are just mentioned in this, not actually in it. it's more of a conversation between kenma and kuroo, sorry. really short, i could expand the concept into a fic in the future.

Kuroo looks over Kenma's shoulder to see what's distracting him from Kuroo's riveting story of his last business trip and is surprised to see Kenma confirming an online order. "Buying a new game?" Kuroo asks with a grin.

Kenma rolls his eyes and leans away from him in response. "No. I ordered a new bag for ____ ." His tone suggests it's nothing out of the ordinary, and it isn't, but it still causes Kuroo to raise an eyebrow.

"She's kinda high maintenance, huh?" Kuroo comments his thoughts out loud.

Kenma scrunches his face up as he looks at Kuroo like he's stupid. "No."

Kuroo pauses for a moment and just blinks because Kenma is not naive or oblivious. In fact, he's able to read people almost freakishly well because of his anxious obsession of staying a head of people so they can't catch him off guard and humiliate him or something. There is no way Kenma is oblivious to your tendencies. "You're buying her another handbag..." Kuroo says slowly.

Kenma grunts in response and looks back at his phone. "A tote bag," He mutters the correction. "And I'm buying her it because she carries so much shit in her bag it hurts her shoulders. This is supposed to be internally padded without it being noticeable."

"And...you don't think that's...high maintenance?" Kuroo inquires as if speaking to a child.

Kenma huffs in annoyance and looks up at Kuroo again. "No. She's easier to please than my cat."

Now Kuroo is seriously confused. "What?"

Kenma looks at him like he's stupid again. Kuroo feels like he's on the outside of some inside joke. "I bought her a year's worth of nail sets for valentine's day and she was skipping places for the next week," Kenma tells him bluntly. "She's so easy to please, it's ridiculous."

Kuroo looks at him in bewilderment. "Kenma, she gets a new nail set every month and she hardly ever wears the same outfit twice. She gets embarrassed if someone sees her when she's not fully done up."

Kenma purses his lips. "Yeah. She likes when people admire her," He tells Kuroo as if it's obvious. Kuroo is genuinely so lost right now. "That's not high maintenance, it's easy to understand. If she was super complicated to read and clingy, and nothing pleased her then she'd be high maintenance. She's not any of that."

Huh, Kuroo never really thought about it like that, but he supposes it makes sense for a guy like Kenma. He likes things straightforward and he appreciates people who understand him and his need for solitude. You're straightforward in what you want, you don't expect Kenma to make himself uncomfortable to please you by demanding he takes you places or anything, and you're fine to give him alone time since you like alone time too. Kuroo supposes you being a little materialistic and into your appearance doesn't bother Kenma since it's simple and he seems to be able to understand it, which is all he cares about.

And, now that Kuroo thinks about it, it's not like you ask for Kenma to do any of the things he does. You were into fashion and being done up long before you met Kenma, to the point that Kenma didn't believe you were into him for a while because you seemed so out of his league. It's not like you sought Kenma out because you wanted a guy to pay for your nails. Ever since Kuroo has met you you've had a new nail set every month, happily showing it off. Now, Kenma pays for it though, and he almost looks as happy as you do when you show off your new set to him. Maybe that's what Kenma meant. You are pretty easy to please in that regard and maybe Kenma likes pleasing you, and seeing remnants of it whenever you wear something he bought you or have a new hair style he payed for. Kenma isn't good with words, but he's decent with actions. Maybe he likes that he can please you so easily with actions.

Kuroo smiles at his friend and chuckles to himself. "Well, whatever you say, Kynma. She's your girl."

Kenma scrunches up his nose and turns back to his phone. "Don't call me that."

[cnl0400]

The new dating feature... What to expect?

(Apart from disapointment, of course)

Disclaimer: I only bought this because I had a lot of Google Play points, so I could shave a looooooooooot of the total price, but my condolences to anyone who doesn't live in the US because it's a lot more expensive in another regions... Including mine, of course

Disclaimer 2: I'm not telling you what to do with your money, this Is my personal opinion. If you are planning in buying this, do whatever idc, but since a lot of people are having doubts, I felt that I might as well tell everyone what Is this about.

So yeah... Since they announced the new feature, I knew It either would cost real money, It just sounded too good to be true, but I didn't expect to cost $29.99? Almost $37 in my country currency, a total scam, really.

But to be fair to them, this Is a bundle that comes with 300 DP, and considering the price of 280 DP, it's almost like you get the ticket for "free", right?? At least that's how Solmare probably thought It would look like, but the reality Is that the common player will see this bundle and just think that this ticket cost 30 fucking dollars (just look at the comments of Twitter and the tag Right now). In my opinion, just separate the DP and the ticket, and have the bundle as an special offert If you want. Remember that selling stuff Is also about framing... Most players that were planning on buying this might not be planning on buying the DP (like myself, I don't buy DP unless it's on special offerts) so the only thing people like that will think Is that "why this ticket costs that much?"

But what you get in the actual event, you might ask? The trailer was vague as hell in my opinion, and that's an instant red flag in my radar, especially for that spicy art that came with it

For a ticket date you get:

A 1min call

A 10min storyline (not fully voiced, apart from certain lines in the las part of the storyline)

A Majolish background with the date art

The event starts with you calling you boy of preference (in this case, I choose Mammon) to invite him to a date, the call ends and you get a 10min storyline. The premise of the Mammon's date Is that MC has won tickets to Phantom Park, and then Mammon & MC get involved to a game of tag to win a price. Then couple shennigans happen, blah blah blah.

The Story Is... Not bad? I found It rather cute actually, it's romantic and at least they make It explicit that Mammon & MC aré actually dating, but again, this could very well have been in a Devilgram, it's not worth the 30 dollars Solmare expects you to pay tbh. Just tip your favorite fanfic author and call It a day

The last segment Is the one they show in the tráiler, with Mammon getting out of the shower

In this scene, some lines are voiced, and tbh, If the actual story was like this, It almost miiiight be worth It (not the full price, but at least something). But as now? Save your money people, I wouldn't really recommend It.

The only way I would recommend buying It it's If you're already planning on buying the 280 DP offert, or you have a lot of coupons/GPP so you don't pay full price lol, but If you like Lucifer (or Asmo) just do yourself a favor and buy the ASMR. At least, that's what I think

[hypertechnica]

star trek as a concept is completely sexless. it is utterly devoid of sex. not one drop of convincing sexual tension has ever graced the screen on any star trek show. the weird unintentionally homoerotic psychosexual mind game shit on the other hand,