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greetings-inferiors · 2 years ago

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Tooru is unironically a banger villain and he’ll only age better and better as time goes on. Seriously. Reread Jojolion. Reread Golden Wind. Reread Jojolion again. Both of these parts have villains that are introduced fairly late and both are incredible.

Each percentage of the story since the main villain was revealed (all numbers are in the manga for fairness):

Phantom blood’s Dio: 100%, revealed in the first chapter of the 44 chapter long part

Battle tendency’s Kars: 72%, revealed in the 19th chapter of the 68 chapter long part

Stardust crusaders’ DIO: either 100% or 99%, the first chapter is heavily implied that it’s DIO (I’m pretty sure his name is on the coffin in chapter 1 but I haven’t read it in a while), on chapter 2 he’s on the cover, but it’s only in chapter 3 when it’s confirmed/revealed for certain. There’s 152 chapters in part 3 so it’s negligible anyway lmao

Diamond is unbreakable’s Kira: 61%, first seen in chapter 69 of a 174 chapter part

Golden wind’s Diavolo: either 54% or 15%, depending on whether you count diavolo’s blacked out appearance as his reveal. We’re going by reveals, so I count the 15%, which is WILD. He is in EIGHTEEN CHAPTERS of a 155 chapter part.

Stone ocean’s Pucci: 79%, first seen in chapter 33 of a 158 chapter long part

Steel ball run’s Valentine (it feels weird only using his surname lol): 74%, first seen in chapter 25 of a 95 chapter part

Jojolion’s Tooru: either 30% or 26%, probably even lower since he’s not revealed to be a villain for a while, I’d say 11%? Basically he’s originally just a shadow, then he makes a full appearance, then he’s not technically revealed as a villain until we’ll into the Wonder of U arc. This is in a 110 chapter long part.

As you can see, he’s not even the latest revealed villain, beating diavolo, a fan favourite, out, but many people say that diavolo has influence that Tooru doesn’t. I disagree. Throughout Golden Wind the plan is to get to the boss. For most of Jojolion the plan is to figure out who is behind the locacaca. It’s introduced in chapter 32, which isn’t 100%, but is still 71%, which is about equal to Kars, Kira, and Valentine. The difference here is that these villains don’t have influence beforehand. With part 2, we think Santana is the only pillar men until three more appear. With part 4, we don’t know that there’s a killer until 5 chapters before Kira is revealed (Araki famously hard no plan for a villain for a large portion of part 4). With part 7, we don’t know that there’s anything sinister going on until the president says there is. With both Diavolo and Tooru, we know that someone is being evil, we just don’t know who it is.

This did kind of just become a numbers game lmao, the mathematics nerd in me really came out. I unironically think Tooru is a great villain, and he has my favourite stand in the series. Jojolion is great! Don’t stop at steel ball run!!!

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kuttblueberry · 1 year ago

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Hello ;p How are you? Hope your day is well.

Wanted to ask about the JJBA asks: 12, 15 and 30?

Hii my day is good, thank you ^^ #12 Fave character?

Joseph, again. He's both my favorite Jojo and overall favourite character in Jjba. #15 Top 3 side characters?

I'm excluding the jobro's and other more prominent characters for this (like bucci gang etc) 1. Holly I ADORE HER. She's so easily forgotten but I'm a huge fan of hers. 2. Suzi Q, her personality is so bubbly and fun I love her <3 3. Erina, she probably sent Dio home crying after wiping her mouth with dirty water, amazing. She's been through so much poor woman. #30 Rank your order, Jojo main villians 1. Yoshikage Kira 2. DIO 3. Kars (and the other pillarmen) 4. Pucci 5. Tooru 6. Diavolo 7. Funny valentine

#Blueberry asks

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leucoratia · 2 years ago

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Leucoratia's ultimate JJBA fic recs

A/N: Here are all the jojo fics I ever reblogged as well as my AO3 favourites, they have passed peer review and I reccomend them all with my eyes closed! This masterlist will be updated as I read (so don't forget to check the original post on my blog, new fics might appear!)

My favourites ever will be highlighted in pink! Happy reading!

Gen :

-"Bruno Bucciarati's Guide to Motherhood" - Buccigang : "Some little stories about Mafia Mom and his six kids, featuring such classics as: “How many times can the kids say ‘Mom!’ in an hour,” “Maybe if I hide in the bathroom I can have five minutes of alone time,” and “No Stands at the dinner table!”

-"Rain in the Flower Garden" - Buccigang : After defeating Diavolo, Giorno discovers a new power and starts to put things back together. A story in which Giorno brings people back (angst)

-"Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want" - Dio : "What would it take for Dio to fight on the side of the Joestar family? For Diavolo to serve society in a beneficial way? For Jotaro to actually be there for his daughter? An AU with a dark beginning and a wholesome ending." (Mudad, mind warnings)

-"Remember me as the sky" - Ceasar Zeppeli : "We'll do everything that'll make Lisa Lisa mad at us" Ceasar lives, at a cost.

Character x Character :

-"Catch of the Day" - Pirate!Avdol x Merman!Polnareff

-"Unbroken" - Esikars : "When an argument broke between Kars and Esidisi, a severe injury drives the Flame King away with the redhead infant. Through pain and betrayal, Esidisi struggles to come in terms of his role in Kars' life. And try to find something within him, which is unbroken."

-"When the Ancient Being Prayed" - Esikars (NSFW) : "After drifting into space aimlessly, Kars was reborn as a human being. As he readjusts himself to the present times, would he forget the past and moved on? But it's really hard with the hot historian who resembled his old lover."

Bruabba :

-"It Starts Like This" : bruno deals with epilepsy which has been caused by being undead (everyone lives AU, angst)

-"Gold room": An abridged history of Bruno Buccellati and Leone Abbacchio, told in ten parts. (Fix-it AU, relationship study)

-"Arm Candy": Leone Abbacchio is at rock bottom, so he might as well catch whatever he can reach to pull himself back up. When a stranger from the mafia offers Leone a job as his bodyguard Leone accepts it, but he has no idea Bruno Bucciarati is much more than a regular gangster, and that the job would turn out to be much stranger than Leone expected. (AU, T4T, mind warnings)

Caejose :

-"Whenever you reach for me I'll do all that I can" : "They say stand users attract other stand users, do you think it's true in other ways too?" Bruno and Leone get together and help eachother figure themselves out. (T4T, transitioning)

-"He wears a pair of silver wings" : What if there never were any vampires, pillarmen and red stone of Aja? What if Joseph and Ceasar were just two men on opposite sides in WW2, stranded together in the middle of the Alps?

-"The Ghost of Ceasar Zeppeli" "Caesar was content to guard over Joseph's family in the afterlife, he had no idea what that would entail"

-"A field of words I wish I would have said" : Jotaro comes to Joseph for advice, making him reminisce his time with Ceasar (angst, canon character death)

Jonadio :

-"The Convergence of Two Stars" (Les Misérables AU) : "Following a fight with this father, young Jonathan Joestar moves from his estate to the Gorbeau tenement, intent on making his own way in the world. Unbeknownst to him, his next door neighbour is someone whose fate is tied to his own through a shared past. Their meeting may be the catalyst to change the course of both their lives."

-"Rosa Sangue" : hanahaki, but the loved one is dead and the sufferer immortal

-"A little derring-do" : "Come now. Would you rather I go out and jump on some unlucky fellow in the streets? All because Jonathan Joestar couldn't give up some of his precious blood. So selfish, Jojo."

"I would rather you hadn't put on that mask at all," Jonathan chided. And yet, he raised a hand to trace one careful thumb over the sharp, sharp tip of Dio's fangs. He almost wanted to press just a little bit harder, enough to see the skin split open and spill red. (Blood drinking, midly dubious consent, frottage)

Jotakak:

-"Twisted Love" - Jotakak: "Noriaki Kakyoin has been in love with his best friend for years. The only problem? Nothing has changed, and it seems like the best course of action would be to just forget about it and move on. The catch? He has to pretend to be his boyfriend for a game show." (fake dating, undercover as a couple, slow burn, fluff and angst... best Jotakak fic I've ever read)

-"In water" - Jotakak (mind warnings) : "Broken, battered, barely clinging to life, Kakyoin wakes up in the ICU after Egypt with one thought on his mind: he has to survive, because important people are waiting for him"

-"Watching for the Tide" - Jotakak (transfem Joot <3) : "Before stands, before Dio, it had been easy for Jotaro Kujo to hide that she was a girl, but with her soul displayed as Star Platinum—huge, powerful, and definitely a woman—it was becoming harder to ignore."

Diavolo :

-"Moonchild" - Diavolo & Doppio: where Doppio deals with an "intruder" in his appartment, whose only misgiving is drawing children's drawings everywhere and messing up (character study, Diavolo's wounded inner child. All of this author's jojo fics are really great)

-"He'll find him waiting like a lonesome king" - Diadop (NSFW) : Diavolo finds a way to meet doppio face to face, but only temporarily

-"Double" - Diadop (beware warnings) : "In the beginning, they were only Them. From the moment of their birth, they were Two, and they had no name for Themselves, and they needed none. They watched from behind their eyes, and they smiled and laughed at each other’s passing thoughts, and they cried from the same hunger and reached for the same bottle. Their selves were driven only by simple thoughts; instinct, need, care- and so there was no disagreement; to be two was as natural as to breathe, to drink, to cry."

-"The Healing Power of Nothing" - Diavolo & Trish : "While Diavolo was trapped in the death loop, Trish learns about her father's fate and convinces Don Giovanna to release him from his torment. Upon release, Diavolo is left a paranoid wreck, keeping himself sheltered from the outside in fear of dying again. Dying multiple times enabled him to reflect on his past actions, wishing to start over but is aware he is worthy of forgiveness. Trish on the other hand, wants a father in her life again is willing to give him that second chance."

-"Vae Victis" - Diavolo/Giorno (NSFW, mind warnings) : "At the 15 year anniversary of Giorno's ascent to Don of Passione, Bruno convinces Giorno to pull Diavolo from the death loop."

Giorno Giovanna:

-"Baby mine" -Giorno & Buccigang : Giorno is hit by an enemy stand which causes him to regress to his newborn state. He must grow older again while his friends turn into family. (angst, found family, past child abuse)

-"The child of god" - Mudad : A universe in which Dio comes for his son

-"My devil / my darling" - Mudad : Dio is dead. But that doesn't mean that it will stop him from visiting his son in his dreams...or rather nightmares. Dio takes it upon himself to be Giorno's sleep paralysis demon.

-"Ripped Out" - Giorno & Buccigang : "Abbacchio gets sent on a simple mission with his least favorite Passione member. Even after defeating the boss, his irritation towards Giorno hasn’t completely faded. But what if the “perfect” teen gets hurt?" (warning: OW)

-"Still Learning" - Giorno & Buccigang: "They winked. And then, suddenly, there was a child standing right before them in his pyjamas, looking for all the world as though he had been pulled out of bed"

-"Blood Runs Thicker" - Mudad : "Should they prove themselves worthy of their birthright, he would ensure his sons their rightful place as a part of his eternal legacy. He hoped, for their individual sakes, they would do so."

-"Sunlight" - Mudad: "It was the first few rays of morning that woke Dio, along with Giorno’s squirming. Dio wasn’t exactly a morning person--he preferred staying up into the late hours of the night if he chose to extend his day, not waking up early. Unfortunately for him, his son was, often waking up right before or after sunbreak. Whatever internal clock his little body ran on, it was determined to have Dio up every morning before 7am, which in his very professional and official legal opinion, should be a crime."

-"You are someone I have loved but never known" - Mudad : Dio's spirit visits his son. A story of fatherhood, trauma, and catharsis, told through years of dreams of Giorno Giovanna.

-"Son of the Tiger" - Mudad : Dropping by Dio's awful mansion to deliver a report, Hol Horse meets someone unexpected.

-"Belgian chocolate" - Mudad : Dio and Giorno are at home, chillin' like villains. An old friend (and a new one!) drops by. (No warnings, same timeline as Son of The tiger)

X Reader :

-"Rekindled Meetings" -Mer!Jotaro x Reader : y/n reunites with their estranged mermaid best friend after a storm

-helpimhyperfixating's jotaro x reader masterlist

-"JJBa & You : fall dates edition" - Bruno, Abbaccchio, Gyro, Jotaro, Josuke, Diadop, Diego, Giorno, Kakyoin, Poly! Caesar & Joseph

-"Foolish Games" - Bucciarati x reader : “Excuse me, think I’ve mistaken you for somebody else, Somebody who gave a damn.“ (warnings: death, part 5 spoilers, soft nsfw)

-"A glimpse of Us" - Bucciarati x reader : Dating and sex work requires communication, something you and Bucciarati learn the hard way. (NSFW)

-"Cassandra Gemini : Multiple Spouse Wounds" - Dio x reader : in which you are a prostitue who has known Dio for many years. This is the story of your first and your last meetings (NSFW)

-"Several nightcaps later" - Abbacchio x reader (NSFW): "Abbacchio's unresolved issues and drinking habit have taken a severe toll on his sex life. After learning about jerk-off-instruction, he comes to you with his problem. You're more than happy to help."

-"The Altar" - Diavolo x reader (NSFW, demon!diavolo, non-con elements): "You find the source of a strange blight in your pumpkin patch. However, nothing could prepare you for what you encounter there."

-"The Domestic Diavolo Chronciles" - Diavolo x reader (domestic fluff)

-"Bratty's Kink compendium" - jojo x reader : NSFW oneshort request compliation. Basically kink heaven (mind warnings)

#x reader #bruabba #caejose #esikars #jotakak #mudad #diavolo jojo #fic recs #masterpost #giorno giovanna #jonadio

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c-nstellati-ns · 2 years ago

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RULES

GENERAL INFORMATION — I'm always taking requests/thirsts! I love seeing them in my inbox, gives me a lot of motivation to keep writing. Reminder, I am not obligated to answer all asks. If it breaches my rules or generally makes me uncomfortable, it will be deleted. Please note that sometimes it takes me a while to get to certain requests, so please be patient with me. If you're interested in what I'm working on at the moment, please don't be afraid to ask!

— I only take NSFW/fluff fics on this blog, anything else will be rejected.

— I write thirst drabbles, mini fics, and full fics. It all depends on how inspired I am that day.

— I mainly write AMAB reader, but if you'd like to have a GN/Transmasc reader, please include that in your request.

— Sub!reader will be written, but bottom!reader is excluded completely.

— I am willing to write for aged up characters.

WHAT I WON'T WRITE, NO EXCEPTIONS — Scat, piss*, age play, necrophilia, pedophilia, incest [stepcest* included], extreme abuse or violence ect..

*won't write these but I may reblog posts containing these.

WRITE LIST — HIGHLIGHTED ARE PERSONAL FAVOURITES

JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE — Jonathan Joestar, Dio Brando/DIO, Robert E.O. Speedwagon, Part 1/3. Joseph Joestar, Caesar Zeppeli, Wamuu/Wham, Kars, Esidisi, Santana, Jean-Pierre Polnareff, Muhammed Avdol, Hol Horse, Steely Dan, Terence T. D'Arby, Daniel J. D'Arby, N'Doul, Vanilla Ice, Yoshikage Kira, Rohan Kishibe, Tonio Trussardi, Bruno Bucciarati, Leone Abbacchio, Guido Mista, Risotto Nero, Melone, Ghiaccio, Formaggio, Illuso, Vinegar Doppio/Diavolo, Part. 4/6. Jotaro Kujo, Narciso Anasui, Weather Report, Enrico Pucci, Gyro Zeppeli, Johnny Joestar, Funny Valentine, and Gappy Higashikata [Warning: From Part 7-8, I haven't read much yet, so I'm not too familiar with the characters as of 09.28.22.]

THE ARCANA — Julian, Lucio, Muriel, and Asra

GENSHIN IMPACT — Zhongli, Kamisato Ayato, Diluc, Kaeya, Venti, Thoma, Arataki Itto, Heizou, Al Haitham, Childe, The Harbringers [Pierro and Capitano specifically] and Tighnari

OVERWATCH — Soldier 76, Reaper, Sigma, Reinhardt, Cassidy, Genji, Hanzo, Doomfist, Baptiste, Ramattra, Junkrat, Roadhog, and Zenyatta

GOD OF WAR — Kratos, Thor, Týr, Modi, Magni, Sindri, Baldur and Deimos [Warning: I don’t know much about this franchise but they are hot and I would be willing to put in research.]

SLASHERS — Michael Myers, Jason Vorhees, Herbert West, Stu Macher, Billy Loomis, Vincent Sinclair, Bo Sinclair, Lester Sinclair, Thomas Hewitt, Brahms Heelshire, and Billy Lenz

BLOOD OF ZEUS — Heron, Seraphim, Evios, Kofi, Apollo, Ares, Hermes, Zeus, and Hades

TRESE — Crispin, Basilio, Talagbusao, Anton, and Tapia

YASUKE — Yasuke, Nobunaga Oda, Moriosuke, and Achoja

AVATAR — Jake Sully, Tsu'tey, Tonowari, Miles Quaritch [both human or avatar]

MORE TO BE ADDED IN THE NEAR FUTURE...

#navigation — rules !

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mavzoon · 5 years ago

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More blowjob headcanons

Oops, I did it again, I played with your heart

Oi. Another one. I added translations for some of the dirty talk after the original line.

This has been requested by a bunch of people ever since I started this blog and I finally heccin did it.

@roksikever (Tagging u bc you requested this owo)

Characters: Joseph, Dio, Avdol, Caesar, Kars, N’doul, Ghiaccio, Diavolo, Whamu

Cut for length

Joseph (this goes for both youngseph and oldseph)

This horny bastard loves it and is most likely going to ask you to go down on him first.

Joseph is loud. There is no denying it.

He’ll dirty talk and moan until his voice is hoarse and the neighbours complain.

“Oh my God, your mouth feels so good! F-fuck.”

He would also suggest mixing a blowjob with some good ‘ol 69.

He doesn’t mind it if you can’t deepthroat him; seeing your mouth on his cock is enough.

His hands will be all over you, caressing your cheeks and petting your head.

Joseph has no trouble bringing up the possibility of facefucking you as he loves to experiment. He, of course, doesn’t mind it if you’re not into that stuff. All he really wants, in the end, is to get off as you enjoy yourself.

He loves coming on your face or chest. The sight of you covered with his cum is incredibly arousing to him.

He’ll kiss you afterwards, not caring if you have his cum on your face.

Say one thing for Joseph Joestar, say that he has no shame (I will love you forever if you get this reference).

DIO

This cocky god complex bitch loves it when you go down on him.

He doesn’t mind it if you can’t take him all the way in. In fact, Dio thinks it’s hot that his cock is simply too big for you. If you do take him all the way in, he will be extremely proud of you.

Dio tries to be quiet. It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy having his cock in your mouth, but rather, he doesn’t want to come off as too desperate. In short, he loves to make you work for it.

He loves degrading you as you suck him off. He’d love to incorporate pet play into it as well.

“Tsk, you can take more than that, so c’mon, suck my cock. That’s it, my little kitten.”

Dio will either just lay back and relax, letting you please him or guide you with a firm grip on your hair.

Facefucking is one of his favourite ways to punish you for being bad or disobedient.

Dio doesn’t have a preference of where he comes. He’d love to come in your mouth when he’s feeling especially affectionate. When he wants to claim you as his, he’d come on your face or chest.

Avdol

Avdol generally prefers being the one to go down on you, so you’ll have to convince him that you really do want to go down on him.

He has no problems with letting himself be loud, after all, he wants you to know how good you’re making him feel. He will try to keep it down though if there is a possibility of someone catching the two of you.

Expect a lot of praises and sweet dirty talk.

“You’re doing so well, habibty/habibi (my love)! Your mouth feels incredible.”

He loves caressing your cheeks gently as you suck him off.

Take his cock in all the way or moan around it and he’ll be a blushing mess.

He’d probably never ask to fuck your face as he doubts you’d like it. If you do convince him that you’re okay with it, he’s going to be extremely gentle. He’ll pause each time you gag and ask if you’re doing okay.

Avdol feels embarrassed about coming on your face, so he’d prefer to come in your mouth.

He doesn’t expect you to swallow, but if you do, oh boy. You’re in for the sweetest lovemaking session of your life.

He also loves cuddling with you afterwards. Cuddles with Avdol are god tier. Have fun.

Caesar

Much like Avdol, Caesar prefers being the one to go down on his partner. To him, there is nothing more beautiful in the world than his partner writhing from pleasure from his touches.

He won’t turn down a blowjob though.

Almost immediately, he falls in love with the sight of his cock in your mouth.

Expect a lot of dirty talk.

As he grows closer to his release, his dirty talk will switch from English to Italian. He just can’t control himself when you’re sucking him off so well.

Succhiami il cazzo. F-fuck, voglio quelle labbra su di me.” (Suck my cock. I want those lips around me.)

He doesn’t expect you to deep throat him, but if you do, oh boy. He might tear up a bit from the pleasure.

He isn’t the biggest fan of facefucking as he wants you to set the pace.

Caesar would love to hold your hands or pet your head as you suck him off.

He prefers to come in your mouth, as he loves all things intimate.

He’ll praise and cuddle with you afterwards.

Kars

Kars, much like Dio, loves it. He would also most likely be the first one to ask for a blowjob.

As much as he loves watching you choke on his cock, he also loves training you to suck him off properly. Seeing you struggle to fit his cock in your mouth is a sure way to drive him insane.

He’ll be genuinely impressed if you manage to deepthroat his cock. You might see an extremely rare blush on his face.

He’d fuck your face mostly as a punishment.

Kars won’t try to hide his voice but neither will he embellish it.

Most of the time, his dirty talk will be instructions or other comments on your performance, be it praises or degradation.

“That’s it, you’re sucking me off so well, little human! Seems like your training has paid off. Maybe it’s time I reward you, hmm?”

He prefers to sit back and let you please him, though he would also guide you so you know just how to move to make him feel good.

Kars loves seeing your face covered with his cum.

As for aftercare, Kars would praise you and clean you up.

N'doul

N’doul would agree to a blowjob only once he truly trusts you.

At the end of the day, he doesn’t mind it if you can’t deep throat him. Just having your mouth around his cock is enough for him.

Fucking your face is easily the greatest stress relief for him. The sound of you gagging on his cock is absolutely heavenly in his ears.

N’doul is relatively quiet throughout the entire thing, but you can easily tell he likes what you’re doing through his general body language. He bites his lip and furrows his brows when near his release.

His dirty talk would mostly be a few curses here and there and random strings of praises.

“Oh, darling! Your mouth feels amazing!”

N’doul would love to use Geb to get you off as you suck his cock, be it by having it pinch your nipples or thrust into you.

He wants to stroke your cheeks as you pleasure him as he loves the intimacy of it.

He loves coming in your mouth and having you swallow his cum.

N’doul’s aftercare would be quite minimal. He’d help you clean up and bring you a cup of water, then maybe cuddle if you have time.

Ghiaccio

He’d ask for a blowjob first.

Ghiaccio will be very adamant about not moaning or whimpering. He doesn’t have a problem with letting himself groan, but moaning? Hell no. Or so he says. Just stroke his thighs and he’ll melt for you.

He’ll curse. Like. A lot

His dirty talk is mostly degradation or backhanded compliments.

“God, you suck cock like a pro, puttana!”

He cums almost embarrassingly quick when you deepthroat him.

Out of everyone in this list, he’s going to love fucking your face the most. Roughness just goes so well with him. He isn’t deterred by your gagging, in fact, he finds it incredibly hot that you’re struggling to fit his cock in your mouth.

He prefers pulling your hair and guiding your head up and down his cock.

Coming on your face is easily his favourite thing. Just seeing his cum drip down that pretty face of yours is an instant confidence boost for him.

Surprisingly, Ghiaccio loves cuddling after a blowjob. The whole ordeal is simply so relaxing for him that all he wants is to fall asleep in your arms.

Diavolo

Diavolo would want a blowjob mostly when he’s stressed out. There’s just something about having you on your knees in front of him, with his cock in your mouth that he finds relaxing.

He tends to keep his volume down and almost only lets out a few moans and groans here and there.

Diavolo’s dirty talk most just consists of instructions, pet names and a few praises here and there.

“That’s it, kitten. Keep sucking my cock just like that.”

He finds your determination to deepthroat him equal parts adorable and hot.

He adores the sight of you gagging and tearing up on his cock.

Most of the times he fucks your face, he does so to relieve pent up stress from his work.

He usually ends up pulling your hair while you suck his cock.

Diavolo loves it when you swallow his cum.

As for aftercare, he’d bring you some water and heat up a bath for you to enjoy. If he has the time, he’d love to just cuddle and relax in bed with you.

Whamu

Whamu, being the sweetheart that he is, wouldn’t ask for you to go down on him. It’s not that he doesn’t like it, he just doesn’t want to come off as rude or selfish.

He’s going to try to stay at least somewhat quiet, but that facade will drop as soon as you swirl your tongue around the head of his cock just right.

Whamu would praise you from start to finish, although he’ll be damn-near incoherent when nearing his release.

“Oh, my love, you’re too good for me! F-fuck.”

Deepthroat him and he’ll turn into a blushing, whimpering mess.

Whamu isn’t really interested in fucking your face because he doesn’t accidentally want to hurt you. He also prefers letting you dictate the pace.

He loves gently stroking your cheeks as you suck his cock.

He has no preference when it of where he comes. As long as you’re into it, he’s okay with pretty much anything. His brain might, however, short circuit if you swallow his cum.

Expect him to go down on you in return. Whamu just couldn’t live with himself if he were the only one to get off. He also loves cuddling and simply holding you close.

#jjba x reader #jjba headcannons #sin #joseph joestar x reader #dio x reader #avdol x reader #caesar zeppeli x reader #kars x reader #n'doul x reader #ghiaccio x reader #diavolo x reader #whamu x reader

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monsterkissed · 3 years ago

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30, 47?

very sorry for the late reply i went to work and my soul vacated my body for the duration

30. Rank your order: Jojo main villains

diavolo is not a good villain in the sense of being good at being a villain. he causes all his own problems at significant personal loss for obscure and silly reasons that he expects everyone else to not only support but intuitively understand. he is not good at very much except being pretty and even then he's kind of cheating by getting scored twice. if this were a ranked list of villains who could have won their entire part by doing absolutely nothing he would also be at 1. he sucks so much. A+.

if this were a list of villains i think are cool and sympathetic and interesting and actually competent at the things they do instead of just the ones i most enjoy rotating pucci would be at the top.

kars is the ultimate asexual being, his motivations are very simple, his stats are ludicrously specific, his looks are all peak, he likes dogs. what else can you ask for?

phantom blood dio is incapable of just being normal about his one-man class war plan and if he were not pitted against a great dane's humansona his part would have been a lot shorter, which would have been tragic bc we would have missed out on my favourite dio fact: that on becoming a vampire and escaping to a remote town to wreak havoc he made a bunch of very silly and kinda gross human animal hybrids, Somehow, and then sat back and said, "in retrospect i don't know why i ever thought this would be good"

stardust crusaders dio is just here to chill in various states of undress and be sinisterly alluring and probably spends 85% of his strength holding back all the innits and geezers and bruvs and you what mates that would dispell his magnetic aura instantly

i am kinkshaming yoshikage kira but i am copshaming the morioh police force way harder. do not talk to me about incredibly thorough evidence-destroying bombs, when your missing persons department gets more calls that the traffic cops you don't have an excuse for failing to even harbour a suspicion about the man who introduces himself with a confessionary monologue. i like his suits and killer queen is prolly my fave stand design of all the villains tho.

i like funny valentine's little tadaa flourish and i really like that his name is funny valentine but much like his design his evil plan only becomes more and more generic as the part progresses. i will concede tho that his final play being a psychological gambit rather than wholly offensive was really cool until the moment araki chickened out of it and just had him be planning to shoot the hero the whole time. special mention to diego for having imo both a fun arc and the best death of any of these guys.

i have not read jojolion yet so that guy escapes my cyberbullying this day

47. Moment you wish could have happened?

traitor fugo 100%. in broad strokes i'd have liked a lot of other characters to get more development and screentime, some other fight match-ups or ability extrapolations i think could have been really cool, characters who seem like they'd have had interesting encounters who don't meet, but if it's a single specific event i think would have been really cool and interesting and potentially emotional as hell it's traitor fugo all the way. i think his reason for not going with the rest of the team is entirely sympathetic (not wanting to die is imo Quite Reasonable) so i wouldn't want a whole face turn or to see him "punished" or something like that, i just think it would be both an interesting angle on the themes of fate and how you make it and a cool and potentially depressing fight with a guy who's almost main villain levels of deadly.

#jjba #jojo #long post

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rainyday-dreamaway · 4 years ago

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I love how deeply Giorno parallels Dio/Jonathan and Diavolo - part 5 is one of my favourite parts just because of that alone.

Like, the Dio/Jonathan Giorno parallels are pretty self-explanatory - while he’s beautiful and charismatic and resorts to cruelty at times, he’s also deeply caring and compassionate and has a strong sense of justice.

But with Diavolo? They both have difficult relationships with their mothers, and their pasts, and both want to erase that past, in different ways.

Diavolo hides away and wants to destroy it, but remains the same person. Giorno doesn’t hide his past per se, but he shows himself off and remade himself so no one would connect who he was with who he is.

#jjba #giorno giovanna #diavolo jjba #dio brando #jonathan joestar #miss posts

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piduai · 4 years ago

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jojo!!

Favorite character: josuke! and dio but lately it’s mostly josuke

Least Favorite character: kakyoin, j*taro, polnareff, bucciarati and diavolo

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): i don’t ship anything in jojo but rohan/josuke and giorno/mista are cute. also i will probably be into dio/pucci when i finally see what their deal is but it’s only a theory

Character I find most attractive: josuke’s mom, kira’s wife, and the beautician blond lady... milf zone do not look at me i didn’t choose this... also yukako but. she looks so much like my mother’s uni time photos it’s uncanny, i think i may have a problem

Character I would marry: i know literally nothing about yasuho except that i want to date her she looks like a manic pixie dream girl. MY manic pixie dream girl.........

Character I would be best friends with: i’d like to befriend josuke!! when he moves to tokyo we could hit the gay district every weekend as besties and i could introduce him to all the places i know gay dudes get their hook-ups... we’d sing karaoke in the random underground bars... josuke is so good i’d love to befriend him

a random thought: people who take jojo seriously and cancel each other over it baffle me to no end, it’s just a talking kaleidoscope it isn’t supposed to make any sense

An unpopular opinion: no idea how unpopular this is but bloody stream > great days > everything else

my canon OTP: no

Non-canon OTP: no

most badass character: giorno. he is INSANE.

pairing I am not a fan of: i don’t HATE it i don’t even notp it but josuke/okuyasu only work as a friendship best bros dynamic to me and i happen to love both of them so since both of their tags are like 80% ship content i have the name blocked lol. i really do not hate it tho! but the fact that people ship in jojo at all was a complete shocker to me lmao each time i see a new ship i’m like whoa

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): idk dude they’re just different flavors of gummy bears

favourite friendship: josuke & okuyasu! they’re the same as sugimoto & shiraishi :) josuke is a smart kid but when he’s together with okuyasu he loses all of his braincells. toss mikitaka into the mix and it’s pandemonium. also trish & giorno are mean girls and should have gotten more bonding i think. tho if they did trish would definitely be mean to giorno and everyone who’s ever been mean to him died so...

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: i want to adopt star platinum. i love it. without the master tho just the stand

#anon #thank you :)

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hyruledrift · 5 years ago

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The Brilliance of Giorno Giovanna

Before I go ahead and write my review of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Vento Aureo written and illustrated by Hirohiko Araki, I wanted to somehow put into writing why I think that it’s main protagonist, Giorno Giovanna, is truly a brilliant character. There is one more thing I’d like to prefix this character analysis with, and that is how I experienced Vento Aureo.

Vento Aureo was serialized in Weekly Shōnen Jump from November 20, 1995 to April 5, 1999. The anime first premiered in October of 2018 and ran through July 2019. So, I devoted the past couple weeks to both WATCH and read Vento Aureo. Reading the manga, and then watching the episodes that covered the volume(s) I previously read. So I really got to soak in the entire story. I also live tweeted my entire “Readwatch” but thats besides the point. I’m a bit late to the party in terms of covering the series but this is also my first time ever doing something like this, and I thought that there’d be no better place to start rather than breaking down one of my favourite characters across all mediums of fiction, Giorno Giovanna. Needless to say, this character analysis will divulge into spoilers of Vento Aureo.

Giorno Giovanna, born Haruno Shiobana, in Vento Aureo is age 15. He is half Japanese, Half Italian. Giorno as we know is the bastard son of DIO, the Joestar lineage’s sworn enemy across time. Giorno’s stand is Gold Experience, named after the Prince album The Gold Experience. Gold Experience is a close-range Stand, with a range of 2 meters from its user. Gold Experience has many different abilities. The first one being Life Giver. Life Giver gives Gold Experience the ability to endow anything its fists touch with life, which translates into a variety of different effects. It’s second ability is Life Shot. Gold Experience's ability can also be applied to living individuals, causing their thought processes to greatly accelerate. Life Shot basically makes Giorno’s opponent experience a psychedelic trip in the middle of combat. Gold Experience also has the ability to recreate Flesh and Organs. Inspired by Baby Face's ability to transform body parts into inert cubes, Giorno discovered that he could do the reverse and create singular body parts and organs out of inorganic matter. Thus he is able to heal gruesome wounds through various means. Gold Experience also has one more ability, Life Sensor. When he [Giorno/Gold Experience] touches someone or something, he can sense other lifeforms from within, allowing him to check if someone is alive or even determine how many souls there may be inside a given vessel. (Below is a picture of Giorno and Gold Experience)

But the interesting part about Giorno is not only is he the son of DIO, its also the fact that he is also considered a Joestar as he was conceived with Jonathan Joestar’s body, with DIO controlling it (after killing Jonathan Joestar, DIO took over his body to become the ultimate life form 100 years before Stardust Crusaders took place.)

We don’t get to see the signature Joestar Star Birthmark on Giorno often, but we do get to catch a glimpse of it in the first episode of the anime and the second chapter of the manga during his fight with Leaky Eye Luca. Which cements him as being the 5th main Joestar in Araki’s story.

Because of his lineage, we know he’s destined to be a special character from the get-go. Inheriting traits and skills from both DIO and Jonathan. Now, I could spend all day pointing out what Giorno has done in the series that he got from DIO, and things he’s done because of the Jonathan in him. But instead of that, I’d rather point out the more notable things he’s done that he’s taken from both his fathers.

We know that DIO was rotten to the core. He had a similar upbringing to Giorno in the sense that their parents neglected him. Dario (DIO’s father) constantly abused DIO calling him both physically and mentally. Whereas, Giorno’s mother neglected him and his step father abused Giorno to no end. Both DIO and Giorno are portrayed to be very smart in their groups. Giorno somehow always knew what animal or insect he’d have to give life to depending on the situation to help him overcome the conflict he was in. For example, in the fight against Man In The Mirror, Giorno also was faced with the issue of Fugo’s stand, Purple Haze and its ability, (A virus that quickly kills you if you inhale it or if your skin comes into contact with it. It also has no cure. Purple Haze is so powerful, that Araki had to write Fugo out of the story.) So to overcome this, Giorno used Gold Experience’s ability Life Giver to give life to an inanimate object (In this case, turning a brick into a Snake - Read left to right i took panels from different pages for the sake of my point)

Also, Both DIO and Giorno are natural leaders, wherever DIO went, be it in Phantom Blood or in Stardust Crusaders, he had followers do his bidding for him. Giorno inherited DIO’s natural ability to lead as later on in Vento Aureo, we all see the team members, inspeseficallfy Guido Mista, in his internal monologue after their battle with White Album, that he sees Giorno being more of a leader than Bruno Bucciarati, the actual leader of the gang at the time. Another attribute that Giorno inherited from DIO, is the need to make his opponent feel powerless. During Giorno’s beatdowns, he is known to shout “MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA” with Muda being a direct translation from Japanese to English meaning “Useless”, something that DIO was known for, in his fight with Jotaro in Stardust Crusaders. Giorno also uses the “WRYYYYYYY” battle cry a couple times in Vento Aureo. Also, Giorno’s hair used to be black, similar to the other Joestars before him, but when Gold Experience awoken in him, it caused his hair to change to the golden yellow colour we see him as throughout the series. One more thing to point out in Giorno that is reminiscent of DIO that separates him further from the rest of the Joestar lineage, is that Giorno ignited his own change. Giorno had a dream that he wanted to see through, whereas the other Joestars reacted to things happening to ones the hold dear to them that made them want to save others. Jonathan reacted to DIO killing his father, Joseph reacted to the Pillar Men awaking, Jotaro reacted to his mother falling ill because of DIO’s awakening, Josuke reacted to Angelo killing his grandfather, so on and so forth. It was Giorno who kicked the events off of Vento Aureo by himself, persuading Bucciarati to take down the Boss of Passione (Diavolo).

The traits and attributes that Giorno inherited from Jonathan consists of Jonathan’s heart of gold that ultimately guided Giorno down the path he took to heroism, infiltrating Passione and taking down Diavolo. Jonathan’s selflessness also passed onto Giorno. Throughout Vento Aureo, Giorno was willing to sacrifice himself/his body for the benefit of the group despite. Cutting his nose off to spite his face. A great example of this is when Giorno and the gang was on their way to Sardinia. On the flight to Sardinia, they encountered the undead stand named after the world’s biggest rapper at the time, Notorious B.I.G. Giorno deduced how B.I.G was tracking them despite being dead, and it was motion. B.I.G reacted to any and all motion around it, causing the stand to automatically hunt down, attach itself, and attempt to kill whatever surface around it that was the fastest. So, while on the airplane, Giorno selflessly lured B.I.G onto the only arm he had left (Giorno had already lost an arm to B.I.G earlier in the fight and had not used Gold Experience to make himself a new arm)

Giorno knew it was a gamble, he had cut both arms off to save the team. Naturally, this incapacitated Giorno for the rest of the fight. But before he could cut his arm off, he turned one of his ladybug brooches into a his own hand, which carried the power of Gold Experience. Thanks to this, after the fight was over, he was able to accomplish two things. First, He helped Trish mature as B.I.G came back and Trish ultimately defeated the stand by awakening to her stand, Spice Girl. The other thing that Giorno was able to accomplish was that he was still able to heal himself and the team using the brooch that Trish worked to protect from B.I.G.

Just as Giorno had a similar upbringing to DIO, he also had parts of his childhood that Jonathan went through as well. Giorno was always the kid that got bullied by the other kids, much like Jonathan. But that all changed when he met the man he came to idolize.

Giorno saved the life of this unknown Gangster, so in return, this Gangster protected Giorno from his abusive step-father, the kids that bullied him, and made sure that young Giorno didn’t go unfed.

Because of the unknown gangster, Giorno was inspired to protect the little guy. In a world of corrupt government and crime, Giorno had a dream of being a GANG-STAR. Instead of using power to benefit himself, he wanted to use his power both literally and figuratively to make sure that nobody would have to go through the same kind of upbringing he had to go through.

Giorno truly is all the best parts of both DIO and Jonathan rolled into one character.

In Giorno’s bio page in the second last chapter in Vento Aureo, it is said that “What Giorno desires most is hope. He has faith that he can reach any destination, as long as he has hope.” This bio page also states that the source of Giorno’s hope and justice was the unknown gangster.

You can argue that his hope was able to manifest itself and what ultimately turned Gold Experience into Gold Experience Requiem (GER) in the final confrontation with Diavolo. Giorno literally becomes unbeatable with GER. GER’s PASSIVE ABILITY is that any hostility directed toward Giorno gets nullified and all action and intent of the attack gets set back to zero, preventing any attack that is directed to him from becoming “real”. (Pictured below is Giorno and Gold Experience Requiem)

You can say that Giorno has hope and faith in himself that nobody will be able to stand in the way of his dream. So Requiem literally makes it so that nobody can harm him.

Giorno’s whole life, he had struggled with finding his own self worth and managed to find self satisfaction in saving a stranger which made him realize what he enjoyed doing in life. Helping others, putting himself in danger to make his own dream come a reality. Giorno’s admiration, spirit, pride, and willpower to fight is contagious and quickly spreads throughout the entire cast of characters in Vento Aureo.

One of the most important characters to Giorno’s development is his right hand man, Bruno Bucciarati who has done even more selfless acts than Giorno has done for the sake of others.

From the moment they met, they both realized that each other were special people. Bruno from a young age was infatuated with assisting others, easing the burdens of others just to make them happy, much like Giorno, which is what makes their relationship so special.

During the turning point of Vento Aureo, Bucciarati died in his fight with King Crimson. Giorno was going as fast as he could to save Bucciarati from his mortal wounds but it was too late. Or so he thought. In that moment where Giorno healed Bucciarati’s body, his soul had already left his body and was on his way to the after life. However, Bucciarati knew that the job was unfinished. His determination, and sheer willpower to see Giorno’s dream come to fruition kept his body alive for the rest of the series until their fated encounter with Diavolo and King Crimson in Rome. Where Bucciarati was finally able to see that Giorno was capable to finish the job himself.

This steeled Giorno’s resolve in his fight against the brutal, merciless, and thoughtless Diavolo, who killed for his own personal gain, not caring for his victims. Diavolo’s ideals and morals are severely distorted and blatantly evil. He thought that he was the one chosen by god to carry out his will to reign over humans as their king. He believed that he was supposed to be the one to judge humans if they should live or not, killing anyone he didn’t see fit into his plan. His mafia also contributed to his heinous crimes as the main reason that Giorno and Bucciarati connected, was their hatred for the boss’ policy of who the mafia sold drugs to. Passione often sold cocaine to women and children, which led to Bucciarati’s father’s murder, and Giorno’s abuse from his father and the bullies.

The abilities that Gold Experience granted him, let him see his dream come to fruition. That mixed with the attributes that he unconsciously inherited from his two fathers, Jonathan Joestar and Dio Brando in combination with Giorno’s will and resolve that was demonstrated to be contagious throughout the events of Vento Aureo. It ultimately affected me on a personal level, which is why I wrote this analysis. I personally deeply admire Giorno and his just dream. Doing anything it takes to see his just dream come true to benefit others despite all his shortcomings in his childhood, and everyone that wronged him in his life. Giorno still believed that he could ignite the change and illuminate the path of those around him to believe his golden dream. Giving others hope, that everything will be alright in the end.

That, is why Giorno Giovanna is brilliant.

#Giorno Giovanna JoJo Vento Aureo Golden Wind Araki Character Analysis

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syahaz · 5 years ago

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[question] why do you like giorno’s mom even though she’s neglectful and a horrible parent?

G’day mate, thanks for your question.

I personally not sure how to explain this well but I really hope it makes sense. At least a little bit.

Disclaimer: Before starting anything I want to say that I, by no means condone any child negligence, assault, abuse, etc. in real life that obviously involving real-life children. If you ever encounter any suspicious parents that might harm their children, please quickly contact your local child protection service if possible.

Please take my SUPER LONG answer here with a pinch of salt (you might wanna bookmark it for later reading just saying). You also feel free to disagree and so do I, alright? Let’s keep everything in peace here ehe hee. :)

Sorry for the digression, now let’s start focusing on the question.

*Cracking my fingers.*

Okay so umm let’s start with when my first time seeing her the anime (because I’m not so much of a reader :/)

My first thought on her is “Gosh, she’s so pretty! I wanna draw her!” like I attracted to her aesthetically and it’s very surface-level kind of attraction and I find a little weird thinking about it consciously aha haa.

The more I look at her, the more my mind able to capture her distinctive physical appearance features or what I sometimes call “shape” (this make more sense if you look at my chibi Shiobana art lol yea.)

After procrastinating to draw fan art of her for quite some time oops haha, I suddenly have this thought “What if Giorno actually having great childhood? What if Shiobana is a good mom to Giorno? How am I gonna draw Giorno as a happy child? What kind of scenario of an amazing childhood that I want to apply for both Shiobana as a great mother and Giorno as a happy child. ” and this happens the very same time my thoughts went to “What if Dio and Shiobana is a couple and be great parents to Giorno oho hoo.” but that’s for another day.

The more I draw Shiobana with Giorno or Dio or both or just herself, I start building up entire new AUs (yes, so many AUs but I don’t think I can develop all of them oops, too much for my not-so-much writer brain). So for this ask, I’m gonna pick the AU that correlates with canon storyline the most.

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In this particular AU, it is set at the post-Vento Aureo time.

Mr Giovanna is one of the biggest drug dealers after Diavolo. I made this overthinking theory because in the anime he was shown calculating some money.

Like… what exactly he’s counting? I know it’s money but where in the world the money comes from and what kind of business or work he’s involved in that made him gets such amount of money? (If you’re from Italy or anyone reading this is, please tell me if that quantity of money is average or suspiciously rich level, thanks.)

The other reasoning is I’m very curious that some bad fathers in JoJo usually associated with some sort of obsession to some extent. So if it’s not drug addiction and drug dealing, I don’t know what else it is. Plus, what’s up with the smirk tho? So suspiciousssss… (Again, this is a theory, not a fact. So… *shrugs* but it makes sense to me anyway aha haa.)

Long story medium, Shiobana becomes more guilty of her being negligent towards Giorno for so many years as time goes. She got abused by Mr Giovanna after she found out that he’s dealing drugs and declines his offer to be his crime accessory. She also starting to work for herself, taking odd jobs maybe to set herself free one day which she did in the end.

She tries to find Giorno back by, of course, starting with contacting his boarding school administrator. As we know that Giorno knows technically skips or quits school but for Shiobana he’s just disappeared from thin air.

Fast forward, one day one the remaining Passione member excluding Giorno (not sure who to pick, maybe Trish?) found a flyer that Shiobana made in search of Giorno. (The police declined to take his disappearance case as he was considered as a runaway). They take the flyer and show it to Giorno.

Giorno, of course, was so shocked that his mom now suddenly try to find him back. It takes a lot for him to command the member to contact her.

Fast forward again, Shiobana and Giorno meet after years passing by. After numerous consideration, Giorno forgives his mom which takes him a ton of time for thinking in loops.

Legally, she could be jailed but with her helping him to catch and dominate over Mr Giovanna fortune (he doesn’t really need to but he likely to be mad at him as Mr Giovanna’s clients potentially be children). Giorno sort of doesn’t press charge on her but demanding her to work with him under specialized tasks. (I don’t plan what is it yet as I’m writing this but probably as some sort of spy with normal presence).

TLDR: This AU is Shiobana’s “Redemption Arc” or at least what I think it is hmm because there’s little to no canon story to work with plus her role as a real negative character really make it tough for me to made continuing situation for her. That’s why I tend to make numbers of AU like good mum au, one mom au, and whole other AU with less canon connection.

*Cracking my fingers again. This is truly wearing me out a little but I’m fine no worry.*

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Now to the highlight point of the question.

Another reason for me to like Shiobana is I can learn how a fictional character stirring humans’ mind just by their sheer existence.

I think the huge reason many people have a fixed view on her is that she is indeed a realistic character. By that, I mean people like her exist. People like her is unfortunately common in our society. She was too real to the point that people less likely to think otherwise about her.

Her character has very low exposure throughout the whole part (about two panels in manga and a couple seconds to a minute in anime). She extremely lacks her own story like who she is, where is she from, where and why in the world she met Dio in the first place, why she becomes like this and that, and many more.

The similar (but opposite) kind of energy goes to Jonathan mainly because he has a lot of character development going on in both manga and anime. The fandom itself truly shows that I’m telling the truth so yeah and I mean it in a neutral way as favouritism on specific characters are subjective. Look at how I look Mr Giovanna, he could be repenting man in the future but I choose not to do so lol.

Anyway, I headcanon her to be the kind of young adult who is not ready for the responsibilities as a parent and a partner or no commitment for short. Yes, I don’t deny that she’s indeed not a good mom at some point.

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So for the conclusion, I could say that Shiobana is like an experimental character for my art progress including storytelling which is extremely entertaining for me as I have a lot of ideas I can put on her no matter how easy or hard the ideas work for her as a character.

I hope you like this answer, anon. Sorry that I take so many time as I need to give as much as possible of my view on Shiobana, just like what you’re asking and I hope it’s worth the wait. ;u;”

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mercurymetals · 5 years ago

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help! i’m married to the evil ones

Okay, apparently it's the jojo self-shipping week and I’m seeing everyone doing it so naturally I decided I want to hop in on the train. So here's a little thing featuring myself and all of my jojo husbandos.

Although this is meant to be self-shipping, it's still written in second person, so hopefully anyone can enjoy it. This is essentially you, like half of the villain squad..... and also Bruno. Because that’s how I roll.

Warnings: Crack. Not even the good kind. Don't expect this to make any sense.

Ah, what a beautiful Duwang. For some reason this is your first thought when you enter the kitchen and see Kira Yoshikage, age 33, his house located in the northeast section of Morioh-- right, you know this. Of course you do. You're in his house right now, and there he is in a pink apron by the kettle making some coffee.

"Hey," you say, your eyes still heavy with sleep as you walk over to him.

"Ah, good morning, dear," Kira replies, grabbing your hand and placing a kiss on it while you rub your eyes with the other one. "Sleep well?"

Not really. Kind of hard to do that when you're sharing the bed with two very big buff muscular dudes, neither of which like to share the bed with each other but both of them equally and stubbornly insistent on sharing it with you. Oh well. One more week and the rota will change, and then you can find some peace in sleeping with the zipper man instead. At least he won't crush you if he happens to roll over to your side of the bed. You look forward to that luxury.

But it's way too early in the morning to be explaining any of this, so you just make a noise that you hope communicates all of your thoughts while holding out your hands expectantly. Kira seems to find this agreeable and hands you a freshly made cup of coffee. "Go and wait in the dining room. I'm nearly done here."

You arrive to the dining room to find everyone else already there. It's morning, but that doesn't stop any of these heathens from raising their voices.

"It is too early!"

"No, it's not. It's never too early for a glass of good wine." Dio, one of the big buff men you have to share your bed with and currently still completely shirtless, punctuates his point by taking a sip from his wine glass.

Doppio grimaces, looking at Dio as if he is a pathetic creature deserving only of pity. "You're just a weirdo."

"But at least I'm sexy."

While Doppio rolls his eyes and turns away from Dio, you find a spot on the floor between him and Bruno. Summer's drawing to an end and it's already cool in the mornings, so all of you eat your breakfast under the kotatsu table, legs tucked inside the blanket for warmth. You stick your legs in, and end up having to intertwine them with Kars', aka The Other Big Buff Man You Are Forced To Bed-Share With On A Nightly Basis, since he's sat directly across from you.

It's not long before Kira comes into the room and starts setting down the breakfast on the table. It's the usual - bowls of rice, miso soup, fish and pickled vegetables. But even by the time Kira himself settles down between Bruno and Kars, the argument from before is still going.

"You're a vampire. There's no reason to be drinking actual wine," Kars says with a sneer, sipping on the red liquid in his glass. Better not think too hard about what's in there. Or how he got it so early in the morning.

"I have always liked wine," Dio argues with a scowl. "If anything, there's no reason to stop drinking it."

"You're disgracing us by ingesting these worthless human products," Kars says, reaching over to pop a pickled plum into his mouth. "Have you truly no shame?" he asks, voice muffled by the fruit.

"It's an acquired taste-- Obviously you'd never understand--"

"Not that I give a fuck," you interrupt, looking to Kars. "But you literally just ate a plum."

Kars’ attention turns to you. "Yes, but that's different. Plums, and fruit in general, come directly from nature. Therefore, I find them an acceptable sustenance from time to time."

You stare at him. "It was a pickled plum."

".....A pickled plum directly from nature," he claims. "Anyway, that's besides the point. We're talking about wine and blood, here."

"Blood is pretty unsightly first thing in the morning," Kira comments in-between gulps, patting his mouth dry with a napkin. "I'd prefer you at least leave it for a later time."

"I just hate it when I have to do the dishes!" Doppio complains with a frown and a pout. "It smells so gross!"

"It smells delightful," Kars says with a thin smile, and Dio hums in agreement.

Doppio smirks. "Okay, great, because it's your turn to do the dishes today."

Kars' smile falls and he narrows his eyes. "I do not do 'dishes'."

"Dishes and cleaning up are something befitting of your meagre human existence," Dio perks up, always eager to team up with Kars if it's to deride humans. "You do them."

"I always do them!" Doppio shouts, slamming his fist on the table. "And I'm sick of it!"

Kira sighs. "Really, can we stop this? I can do them if it's that big of a deal--"

"No!" Doppio cuts him off, somewhere on the verge between pissed off and hysterical. "It's their turn! This isn't fair!"

The voices and arguments keep rising, and in the mean time you take a sip of your coffee, watching all of this unfold like it's the morning re-run of your favourite telenovela. But just as things are getting a little too rowdy, and it's looking like Doppio might seriously attempt to punch that jeering smirk off of Kars' face--

"Enough." Bruno only raised his voice a notch, but silence immediately sweeps over the room all the same. You'd almost forgotten he was here, he had been so silent, but now you swear you can hear a choir of otherworldly angelic voices announcing his presence as he mercifully decides to step in, with a beam of white light shining down from the heavens to spotlight him right here in this small Japanese-style dining room, half of his body still tucked under the kotatsu. "Kars, you'll do the dishes."

Doppio lets out a cry of victory. Kars bristles, his hair rising off his shoulders like he's in a Ghibli movie. "Do you even know what you're saying? I am the ultimate life form, all-powerful, indestructible, undefeated-- well... Alright, defeated once, but still completely superior to a human like you, or this act of 'doing dishes' you speak of."

Bruno looks unfazed. "And can this 'ultimate life form' business of yours turn dishes instantly clean?"

Kars pauses. "Well-- No, but--"

"Then you'll do the dishes." The finality in Bruno's voice is unquestionable, and the rest of breakfast is spent in blissful silence. Well, almost, because Dio can’t stop from snickering at Kars' misfortune and Kars, having already been pushed to his limit, ends up punching Dio so hard he flies across the room with a cry of "UGEEE!" and smashes into the wall, leaving a spray of blood arching behind him like a fountain. How ironic.

Haha, you think. 'Ironic'. Get it? Because of the blood? Oh God, I hate myself so much.

"I just got that wall fixed last week," Kira whispers in exasperation as Kars begins collecting the now-emptied dishes and carries them into the kitchen, much to his own dismay.

* *

That afternoon, you decide to go to your bedroom and spend some time on your laptop, intent on writing some fun spicy fanfiction of your faves, or perhaps even reading some if the stars have aligned and your friends posted something since the last time you checked.

But when you open the door, you see a lump on your bed under the blanket. A large, strangely man-shaped lump, in fact.

You walk up to it and lift the blanket. You are met with the sight of Diavolo, half-naked and sat cross-legged on your bed, his hot pink laptop open in front of him. He flinches and hisses at you, shielding himself from the light you've invaded him with like the sewer-dwelling creature that he is.

"What are you doing?" you ask, not entirely surprised by any of this.

"I'm hiding," he grumbles, blinking his weird spotted eyes to see you better. "I think Dio and Kars want to eat me again."

"Oh wow, that’s so sad," you say, watching his face light up for a moment. He's about to say something, but you continue first. "I can't believe anyone would actually want to eat someone like you."

Diavolo looks crestfallen. You let go of the blanket, leaving it covering the top of his head and his shoulders as you sit down on the edge of the bed next to him. You glance at the laptop and see he's got it open on some kind of an article reviewing the new release of a high brand glossy black lipstick, pictures and all.

"Why are you all so mean to me?!" Diavolo huffs, his voice pitched higher than usual in his complaining. "Dio and Kars just think of me as a snack, Kira only likes me for my hands, Buccellati just straight up hates me, and even when that priest and the lizard man come to visit, they just mock me!"

Huh. According to the review, this lipstick is actually pretty good. Waterproof, too. Wonder if they come in green? Dio might like to see this one.

"You're not even listening to me!" Diavolo cries out, and you turn your gaze on him with a smile.

"Sure I am." You pat him on the shoulder with no semblance of sympathy. "It's because you're so cute, Diavolo."

"I'm not cute," he says, half-shocked and half-indignant. "I am Diavolo! I am the emperor--"

"Yeah, yeah." You scuttle closer to him, watching his offended expression shift to a nervous look. But he stays still when you lean in and place a loving kiss on his cheek, his face flushing a little at the gesture. "Cute."

Diavolo sighs, resigning himself to your compliment. His black-painted lips (matte today, but already a little smudged on one side - he really does need a new brand) actually tilt upwards for once. "At least I have you," he says, this time moving closer to you of his own accord as he nuzzles your face. "You're different..."

You take this prime opportunity to kiss his jaw, and then trail soft kisses down his neck as he keeps talking. "They might hate me, but I know you don't. Even when you tease me, it's not the same as them..." Your hand runs up his chest, tracing the pattern of his mesh shirt as your fingers inch higher and higher. "I know you love me. And I know you'd never hurt m-- Ghhn?!"

Your fingers wrap tightly around his throat. You lean away and watch him struggle for breath, both of his hands wrapping around your wrist. "What are you--?!" he chokes out, wide-eyed.

"I mean," you shrug innocently, despite the shit-eating grin on your face. "Isn't it time you died?"

"Wh--" You squeeze tighter, and Diavolo gasps drily. "I can't believe you'd--"

You let go for a moment and shove him down on the bed. You hear his laptop clatter to the floor as you wrangle yourself on top of him and he cries out: "Not my laptop!"

"Oh, shush. It'll be fine." It's ugly, anyway. Why hot pink? He could've at least done himself a favour and picked pastel pink. But no, of course not, because Diavolo has no taste. Good riddance to that atrocity. "Now, let's see..."

You trail your hands up his tiddies again, and he makes a high-pitched noise as he tries to kick himself up the bed and away from your rapidly approaching fingers. "No! Ah...! No!! S-- STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MEEEE!!"

But just then the door busts open and both of you turn your heads to look.

Dio is standing in the doorway, apparently fully recovered from his ordeal with Kars. He's wearing disgustingly-tight black leather leggings, a bright purple sequin shirt that looks like it’s straight from the 90s, and a huge fluffy purple boa around his shoulders. He stares at you and Diavolo for a few long moments (or at least, you think he does - kind of hard to tell from behind those black sunglasses on his face), taking in the sight of Diavolo splayed out on the bed, with you straddling him and your hands wrapped around his throat.

If Dio thinks anything of this display, he doesn't show it. Instead, he lowers the sunglasses down a notch so he can look at you with a stony expression. "Get ready, losers. We're going shopping."

#jjba #dio #diavolo #doppio #kars #kira #bruno #selfshipping #man i cant believe i spent time writing this #but tbh i kinda needed a break from the horror so at least i had fun #anyway just ignore this and i promise i'll go back to writing what ya'll actually signed up for very soon

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