#Different Doors
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wanted to try n get into comic pages agin, and this time practice paneling but more 'chaotic' to it, esp when Valerie (snake guy) is on panel, cuz ya know…eldritch entities for some human comprehensions ( ft mc of my webcomic; Ramoth + one of the villians; val)
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Ramoth with his stupid horse (yes hes kinda cowboy, and the horses name is Fritters)
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y'know every time i feel guilty about bothering someone by singing along when i'm listening to music, i just remember that i have to tolerate my dirtbag brother screaming at his ps5 for hours every day so listening to muffled off-key fall out boy is probably preferable
#ramble#it's not loud btw it's just like. singing along in the car volume#not to get on my soapbox but there's a literal dent in his wall from his controller. and we're in the uk you CANNOT punch through walls#idk about anyone else but i've NEVER yelled at a video game?? like i'm absolute dogshit at 80% of them#and i've never had a PHYSICAL reaction beyond maybe 'ughh' then turning it off#if you're getting that angry maybe you just need to play different games because you're clearly not having fun#also added bonus that i didn't realise until adulthood. as a former daughter#cis son privileges are CRAZY#i don't even swear in front of my parents and my dude is just screaming actual slurs next door with NO consequences#like you wouldn't do that in public why is it ok to do it here#i think i've said fuck in front of my mum ONCE and i literally couldn't look at her the entire day#this is a box i am not ready to unpack yet akdhdh#is this just a my family thing or is this common
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there is just something about the difference between edwin's love interests and having the cat king's reaction to edwin in hell being "i'll be waiting when he gets back" vs charles "no version of this where i don't come get you" rowland convincing a powerful trans-dimensional being to open a door to hell just so he could get him back
i am insane
#like YES i know there is obviously so much more history between the boys than edwin and the cat king#and for everyone who's like “well how would the cat king have gotten to hell”#yall charles got LUCKY that the night nurse was there to open a door for him#you can bet your ass that if she hadn't been there he still would've figured out how to get there no matter what it took#but the cat king calling himself a romantic because he'll wait vs charles GOING TO HELL TO GET HIM BACK????#absolutely insane#i cannot handle these two#like i can vibe with the cat king#but charles x edwin for the WIN#obviously the circumstances between the characters are a lot different#but to me that changes absolutely nothing about the fact that charles who only thinks of edwin as a friend would do literally anything#vs the cat king who claims to have fallen for edwin doing literally nothing and just sulking about it#i don't even care if you dont ship charles and edwin#the love they have for each other will forever outweigh anything else#(ps if you ship catwin you simply do not need to interact with this post. you will not change my mind)#(you do not have to interact with posts you don't agree with)#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#charles rowland#edwin payne#the cat king#painland#payneland#dbd netflix
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 4: Deranged Bedfellows
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.5)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#mdzs au#lan wangji#nie huaisang#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#This is the *first* part of what was supposed to be a much longer comic (LWJ's morning routine in full).#I'll finish the remaining part as a reblog to this post! I just think this is the funnier chunk.#Lan Wangji absolutely is the kind of person who has a perfect internal alarm clock for when it is time to get up.#He already has a dedicated sleep schedule. He is accurate within 10 seconds of 5am every day.#I think the Jiang disciples are most likely used to waking up around 6:00-7:00am#But the allure of having a guaranteed time keeper getting you up in the morning is worth the earlier hour.#I imagine they started outside lwj's door and slowly moved closer as the weeks went on.#Now LWJ has to cope with being way too warm in the night from all the extra body heat.#LWJ is not a fan of this but they scamper off immediately after he wakes up and they at least show initiative to follow routine.#NHS joins in only because he is a chronically heavy sleeper and needs this level of intervention to get up early.#His boldness would be a death sentence in the cloud recesses but here? Whole new game.#Yungmeng Jiang isn't a lawless land. It's just a land with different laws.#And one of those laws is to forcefully domesticate the catboy coded Lan boy through any means necessary.#Completely different tangent: I drew the thumbnail for this before I did comic 134. I then realized they had the same visual gag.#So I had to space this one out so it didn't seem like I repeated the waking up joke. That's my secret and all of you have to keep it.#And in my land the law is that snitches get itches (telepathically transfers hives onto your body)
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thinking about clara bow and how her art defined that era but then married her husband who denied their marriage and then she never acted again and ariel who lost her voice after chasing the man she loved and how masie peters says in her song wendy "if i'm not careful, i'll wake up and we'll be married and i'll still flinch at the sound of the door" and "you could take me to neverland baby, we could live off of magic and maybes, but i know the girl that you want and it scares me, behind every lost boy, there's always a wendy" and "lose the world that you live in, pretend that it's what you wanted, it's a life i could have, i know" and "what about my wings? what about wendy?"
and i'm just feeling like the theme of the tortured poets department is going to be: what about my art? what about my voice? what about my wings, what about wendy?
#soooooo caught up on 'if i'm not careful i'll wake up and we'll be married and i'll still flinch at the sound of the door'#and how very hits different ‘was that your key turn in the door down the hallway? is it you? or have they come to take me away’ that is.#and how she. well. how she still flinched at the sound of the door.#this is too much for me#ttpd#random thoughts with grace#*hits
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Haunted City
Danny could admit that pretending to be a "regular ghost" was pretty fun. He could hide in one place and scare people who were waiting for an open door and a creepy laugh.
Honestly, Danny could do a lot more than that, the ghosts people believed in were nothing like the ones he knew. He wondered if there were simply different types of ghosts, or supernatural creatures; it was quite likely, considering that the ghosts of the Realms weren't even of the same dimension so it wasn't a fair comparison.
Anyway, the halfa had spent a couple of days "haunting" Gotham. The place was too leggy and they needed a little excitement in their lives. Of course, this led to some rumors about a spirit suffering or something similar, he didn't really care.
The "heroes" of Gotham didn't seem to share his opinion, going through all the places that had been "attacked" (they were just jokes) and looking for some explanation before calling Justice League Dark, Danny had fun scaring them a little in the process.
But he wasn't too interested in being exorcised, banished or whatever they did with rebel ghosts, so he settled on a mansion that was too big for its few inhabitants. Scaring billionaires was almost therapeutic, although the butler didn't seem too impressed by his (minimal) efforts.
#dpxdc#Immortal Danny#Danny gets bored very easily#so he started traveling to different dimensions#and looked for ways to have fun#In this case he decided to pretend to be a ghost from stories#the weak ghosts that scared people by opening doors or crying#It was almost too easy#but he supposed it made sense since he was a ghost already#dp x dc#dc x dp#Gotham looked sad#Danny wanted to cheer them up a little#harmless scares would surely help#The Gothamites were a little confused thinking they were being attacked#although some of them had fun#the bats investigated it anyway#Alfred knows there is a prankster in his house#But it's not doing any harm and no one has asked him about it#and he lives with detectives#they will figure out eventually
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A thing I've never heard talked about but is so down right poetic as a wyllstarion concept is that the park right outside Cazadors was the one Wyll played in pretending to kill monsters when he was a kid...
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#wyll ravengard#wyllstarion#bloodpact#astarion#wyll x astarion#bg3 wyll#bg3 astarion#cazador szarr#just the drama of that. baby wyll playing at killing monsters right next to a den of them#one astarion says he visited as a spawn at night#baby wyll dreaming of killing monsters next door to the place the monster he will fall in love with is currently imprisoned#by one of the worst monsters you can imagine#he even has a line to shadowheart about how the difference between the ones he dreamt of fighting and the ones he faced as the blade#were that the worst monsters look like you and I#and Cazdor is right fucking there!!!!!#he also has one with astarion where astarion says its less kitschy at night which is just funny#but like SEE MY VISION#baby wyll staying out to late one night in the park and playing monster hunter but then seeing a glimpse of red eyes and fangs...
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the two biggest pieces of advice that i would express to anyone thinking about grad school are
1) do not pay for grad school. i am dead serious on this one. this was the number one thing every single professor i had in undergrad expressed to me. going to a grad school that doesn’t offer tuition remission or teaching or any type of funding so you can complete the work you need to do is not worth going into debt for don’t do it don’t do it don’t do it because—
2) besides the obvious (the degree) grad school offer you two things (ideally they offer both); training or access. by training i mean rigorous high level hands on practice honing your skills in your chosen field; by access i mean connection to people/institutions/funding to help support whatever work or research you’re doing. (i think that at least in the arts broadly speaking, it is easier to find training than it is to gain access.) i think it’s extremely important to weigh out what you’re getting out of a specific program and decide not only what is more important to you but also what opportunities a school is offering you
#this is just my experience as someone who has very recently gone through it and now teaches at a very prestigious college and still has#student loan debt from undergrad (i went to a funded phd program)#part of the reason i picked the university i did for grad school was because i wanted access#i already knew i knew how to write (and had experience teaching); i wanted to work at the major regional theatres in town and i wanted a#slightly easier time getting my foot in the door. and it paid off. a lot#if i had gone to a different program my career might look very different
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“How come I see you and ache instead?” - Pork Soda, Glass Animals
#shazam#billy batson#dc captain marvel#dc#dc comics#digital art#dc fanart#mary marvel#mary bromfield#injustice marvels au#okay so basically this follows a post where mary cant look in the mirror bc all she sees is billy#idk where it is tho#anyways#throws angst at you and leaves#you bet that its freddy opening that door#and yes mary was in the dark the whole time#different vers bc i love colors and couldnt decide#injustice
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”no matter what mind, or in its state. You will walk their seas of dreams and memories in disguise.”
Some ramoth and skulls, criticism for rendering would be awesome
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Someone must do this
In Coffeewoman we trust!
Tap for better quality
#opening the door without checking#you can’t tell me Milkman and Elena aren’t siblings from different universes#au that no one asked for#resident lover#resident evil village#resident evil 8#re8#elena lupu#cassandra dimitrescu x mc#bela dimitrescu x mc#daniela dimitrescu x mc#donna beneviento x mc#alcina dimitrescu x mc#lady dimitrescu x mc#mother miranda x mc#that’s not my neighbor#that’s not my neighbour fanart#art#my art#fanart#video games
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Tim unconsciously sending/showing signals of his feelings for Lucy
#chenford#chenfordedit#the rookie#therookieedit#tim x lucy#tim and lucy#lucy x tim#jesuis-assez edits: chenford#jesuis-assez edits: chenford multi#Or rather Tim's body responding to what his mind has not yet caught up with and his actions showing/ revealing#his feelings in full display. Or rather Tim's mind suppressing what he doesn't want to acknowledge#Tim closing the door to the possibility of having developed feelings for Lucy while she was his rookie or rather ..#Tim not thinking of Lucy in that light as she was his rookie but feeling so much for her and not understanding what he was feeling.#Because this is uncharted territory for him. This feels different. What he feels for her and what she has given him.#Or rather Tim needing to be in control and how he couldn't control his heart letting Lucy in.#Or rather allowing Lucy to take space in his heart gradually until she covers it completely with her love and kindness#and not realising just how deeply he had fallen for her. How she came to be this important person in his orbit#How she came in his life and changed it for the better. How she was his rookie and his friend and how this one person could mean so much#and how he can't bare to lose her.#How little control he had over how he feels for her and how he came to accept and embrace that#how the entire foundation they built was worth risking and exploring to him#because how could something so beautiful not be?#*takes a breath * ok. I wish I could convey all of this more eloquently but my brain is just not having it.
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Prompt 134
One of the young justice members is complaining about how their parents or mentors benched them after getting injured.
And Marvel snorting and saying that that reminds him of Phantom. And of course, the YJ crew, ask who that is.
“Oh Phantoms my big brother, pops never really understood our human halves or limits so…” and he just shrugs like he didn’t just drop Lore. And the teens smell blood in the water, they want to know more.
#prompts#dcxdp#dpxdc#The kids have sniffed out the Forbidden LORE#Marvel was distracted by the meditteranean magic men in his head#Robin: Guess what B I now know more about Marvel then you do >:)#Batman: Hnn#YJ to JL: Do you guys know Marvel's brother???#JL: His What#Eternal 10 year old Billy: So don't freak out#Eternal 14 year old Danny: What did you do#Constantly age shifting Clockwork: Oh I'm sure nothing wrong now help me fix this timeline the speedsters broke#Pariah trying to bake cookies: Just don't break the table if you start wrestling#Eternally 12 Ellie and eternally 17 Dan entering through different doors: Oh no the whole family is here the keep won't survive
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Jimmy only commits his worse moments when he’s alone with each individual character.
It’s implied he corners Anya in her room. He brutalizes Curly when everyone else is busy under the guise of medicine. He convinces Daisuke to go into the vent when Swansea can’t stop him. He kills Swansea after everyone is dead. It really highlights the type of violence he commits. He is a coward, he won’t take his chance if there is a possibility of active conflict, yet, he jumps on the opportunity to do so when there’s no risk. Not just when there’s no one to stop him but when he knows there’s no one to witness it. To judge and directly call out his faults.
No one outside himself to really see him as the monster he would never admit he is.
#like with all the eye and sight imagery Jimmy operates in blind spots#like there is the obvious question of how no one heard the first two examples I used as Curly was struggling and crying out but maybe it was#too muffled same way the door couldn’t lock but it muffled what was happening in the room with Anya#it’s just a thing I noticed as we never see Jimmy hurt others until the end where they stop obscuring it or dancing around it#he may interpret his actions differently but we see what he’s actually done and I think it’s important to remember he got away with so much#if it because no one saw and no one wanted to see like the story is about taking responsibility and being aware on so many fronts#it fades to black when he hurts Curly and only when there’s no one too look away do we see his actual violence#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#jimmy mouthwashing#like he’s so scary cause he knows what he’s doing and does it horrifyingly well
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