#Didn't ask

[pratchettquotes]

A Personal Note: Celebrating 900 Posts*

"I'm an Igor, thur. We don't athk quethtionth."

"Really? Why not?"

"I don't know, thur. I didn't athk."

Terry Pratchett, Making Money

*A Rare Personal Note: In honor of the 900th quote I have shared on this inconsistent, inimitable, genuinely joyous blog, I thought I should do what I normally do. That is, I went looking for one of the many profound, jarring, thought-provoking Pratchian quotes that draw so many of us back to his books again and again. And then I opened Making Money and abruptly changed my mind. Because let's be honest: Yes, we come back to Sir Terry for the insights and the head tilts and the moments that make us go "hmm" out loud, awkwardly, when we are in a silent train car. But that's not all. I may stay true to Discworld because it makes me think -- but I fell in love with Discworld because Terry Pratchett makes me laugh. Fifteen years later, I'm still laughing. So in honor of our 900th quote in common, let's celebrate the punchlines. If we have learnt nothing else from Pratchett, we know that laughing at the world makes it bearable to live in.

[towerofglass]

nobody:

fascists: "so what if I'm a fascist"

[outta-trouble]

doods dodos dudes doodles

Zoom of the blorbos

[okayigetitifuckedup]

If you send me hate for posting a ship you don't like, please know it only makes me ship them harder. Die mad about it cunts.

I also write Splatter Punk- do I also condone torture/murder?

fuck u bro

[mxvanrichten]

"You shouldn't be attracted to this character because-"

BESTIE, STFU!

*wheelies to my 3way with Strahd, Rahadin, and Rudolph van Richten.*

[nevaehdavis5675]

who tf says this on a dms?

No I'm not comfortable with women sending me nudes hell nah 😃

[verdan-the-druid]

Hold on while I wild shape into a guy who gives a fuck.

[anitoshka]

[lemongirl69]

If you had carpenter ants living in your digestive tract would one say that you are

Shiting Bricks?

[krysmcscience]

I have some questions about karaoke night, Alex Hirsch. Very Important Questions. Which I will happily scream at a poor hapless baby triangle who can have no answers for me, and possibly also does not have object permanence yet.

Follow-up that is I guess suggestive, but let's be real here, Bill's a fucking triangle:

Dude slipped right into his birthday suit, lmao

this is so stupid :D

Anyway, I don't care what anyone says, this brilliant individual knows what's up - Bill is absolutely way more of a monsterfucker than Ford could or ever will be, full stop.

[followthebluebell]

every year, my boss buys a few cat calendars for our workplace. Due to some sort of mix-up, we accidentally got a few naked women calendars this year.

Normally, that's where the story would end. It would just be a mildly amusing mistake.

But it becomes absolutely fucking hilarious because I opened up the calendar package in front of clients today. One moment, we're just discussing the cats up for adoption and if their current cat might be willing to accept a new baby brother/sister and bam. Suddenly it went all tits up the second I picked up one of the calendars and actually looked at the damn thing.

Unfortunately, the clients ALSO looked at it.

None of us wanted this to happen. None of us knew how to respond to it. There's nothing in any social protocol that could have prepared us for this.

There was just like thirty solid seconds of absolutely dead silence as we all tried to think of the most polite thing to say.

"Wow," i said, because I'm entirely braindead at this point. "Not the kind of pussy I expected to encounter today."

Thankfully, they thought it was hilarious. It probably wasn't the most politic thing to say, but it was very funny to at least three people.

[hinamie]

surprise it's yuri!!!in 2024

[service4marriedmen]

Elliot: [to Owen] "And then I said 'I didn't say I was gonna pull out either!'"

No he didn't. In the absence of a specific instruction to the contrary, it's presumed that the rugby boys are gonna nut balls deep and you're gonna swallow their loads.

Both Elliot and Owen are no exception.

[veil-of-lament]

everything comes to an end