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winryofresembool · 3 years

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Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 37

aka Caleo uni au

Fic summary: Calypso starts studying at a new university, but to her annoyance her new flatmate is a loud mouthed mechanic who also likes to sneak his dog in whenever. But as she learns to know him better, she realizes they might have more in common than what she first thought. Eventually, even the darkest secrets come out…

Chapter summary: New Year’s Eve, pt 2

A/N: A new chapter! We'll finally find out what happened after that annoying cliffhanger in the previous one. Anyway, I would like to note that this chapter deals with some mental health related issues and there is also a mention of a shooting (note: mention) so if you'd rather avoid that kind of stuff, then it may be better to skip this chapter.

That said, I hope you'll still enjoy this chapter! And don't forget that I'm always really happy to hear from you guys!

Words: 3500+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: panic attack, mentions of shooting

previous chapter / AO3

...

“Calypso, I think you should come. Something’s not right with Leo.”

It took Calypso a moment to register what Nico had said. She just kept staring at him, a frown creeping on her face as she was trying to figure out if she had heard him correctly.

“Something’s… not right with Leo? Wha-what do you mean?” She finally managed to ask.

“We were just talking… I don’t know, not about anything special… and suddenly some fireworks went off nearby. Like, too close for it to be legal. He got really restless - even more than usual - and he wanted to go and look for you but given his state I told him it was probably better if he sat down while I would find you.”

“When you say restless, what exactly do you mean?” Calypso asked.

“He was shaking and his breathing was labored and he got this panicked look on his face… as if he was seeing something I couldn’t see. And when I tried to talk to him, he didn’t respond. He started tapping with his fingers, like he was trying to message me something that way. I don’t know. But I think he’s having a panic attack.”

Calypso’s heart sank. She wasn’t entirely unfamiliar with panic attacks either so she knew how horrifying it could feel. Based on her own experiences, when you were having one, it was really, really hard to convince your brain that it was going to be OK. It just wouldn’t listen. And that could go on for a long while. The worst part was that it could get triggered totally unexpectedly, like now in the middle of the party.

“Oh gods… where is he now? I don’t think he should be alone.” In that moment Calypso didn’t care what the others thought about her worrying; her instinct to be with him was much stronger.

“He’s still in the kitchenette…” Nico responded and Calypso didn’t waste any time, marching out of the balcony as fast as she could.

“So, you think the fireworks triggered the panic attack?” she asked Nico over her shoulder while she was walking.

It took him some effort to keep up with her. “Probably. Before it happened, he was just explaining to me that his family always needed to put Festus into the most light and sound proof room of his home during New Year and 4th of July because he really hated the fireworks. Apparently Festus’ fear is one of the reasons why he himself doesn’t like them.”

“That would certainly make sense,” Calypso agreed. She didn’t have time to ask more when they already reached Leo’s resting spot. Even though she had seen him angry and scared before, this felt different compared to those times. He had wrapped his arms around his shaky legs and when he heard the others approaching, he looked up, his eyes bewildered. Calypso even noticed that there was also wetness on his cheeks and she needed to brace herself so that she didn’t start tearing up as well. She sat down next to him and started speaking in as soothing a voice as she was capable of in that situation.

“Leo… It’s gonna be OK. I’m right here.” She started stroking his back with light, gentle motions.

“Cal?” He muttered with a broken voice. “Thank goodness… I was afraid that…”

“Afraid of what?” Calypso frowned, still trying to sound as calm as possible. “That I was going to go somewhere?”

“Not… here…” he murmured, referring to the fact that they had several pairs of ears listening to them.

“Oh. Right,” she replied understandingly. “Hey… I’m going to ask Frank if he’d allow you to rest in his bedroom for a moment. You know… just until this passes.”

“Fine,” Leo nodded slightly. Luckily Calypso didn’t have to go searching because Frank entered the room as if on cue.

“Frank, I think Leo needs some quiet space for a moment,” Calypso told him when he was observing the situation. “Can we borrow your bedroom?”

“Sure, of course,” Frank agreed instantly.

“Thanks a lot. Don’t worry, you’ll get your room back once he recovers,” Calypso addressed Frank before turning back to Leo. “OK, let’s go then.”

She took his hand and pulled him up, directing him towards the bedroom. When she turned to give the hosts a reassuring nod, she noticed they were watching her and Leo worriedly.

“Uh, do you need any company there?” Hazel asked.

“What do you say, Leo?” Calypso didn’t want to make any decisions for him.

“Just Cal is fine,” he muttered.

“Thanks, though,” Calypso addressed Hazel. “I will let you know if I need any help. I, um, have some experience with this kind of stuff so I think I can handle it.”

“Alright. We’ll make sure no one interrupts him,” Hazel referred to the other guests who were still partying on the other side of the wall. Calypso didn’t understand how anyone could still feel festive but then again, they didn’t know her boyfriend like she did.

Closing the door behind her, Calypso helped Leo on Frank’s bed and turned on a light on the bedside table. Then she sat down next to him and swept his hair from his eyes, pressing a soft kiss on his forehead. When she pulled away, she sighed:

“I’ve also had panic attacks in the past. I’m no expert by any means, but for me, it usually helps a bit if I lie down and just try to focus on my breathing. Maybe you could try that.”

“Alright,” Leo complied. He laid down on the bed, using her legs as a pillow for his head, and rested his hands over his chest. Calypso ran her fingers through his hair and kept talking to him soothingly.

“So what I do is that I breathe in slowly – I try to count to four when I do that – then I hold it for a moment, and then breathe out just as slowly. And repeat.”

Leo blinked to let her know he understood and followed her advice. Calypso knew that she should try to reduce the distractions in that situation so she didn’t say anything for a while; she just kept combing his hair with her fingers and humming the first song that came to her mind; New Year’s Day.

“Do you feel any better?” she asked once Leo’s hyperventilating seemed to have calmed down somewhat. She herself felt lighter as well seeing that he was starting to recover.

“A bit,” Leo answered hoarsely.

“It’s OK. Sometimes it takes a moment to pass but you’ll get there,” she said encouragingly. “Just keep your eyes closed and try to focus on something that keeps you grounded to this moment. Like something you feel or hear or smell or anything…”

“I like it when you play with my hair. It feels nice,” Leo stated bluntly.

“OK. I’ll keep doing that, then.”

It was quiet for a while again, aside from the sounds outside the room. Calypso was thankful that the firework sounds weren’t that loud at that moment because it could have set back Leo’s recovery process.

“Talk to me,” he said suddenly. “About anything.”

“Alright.” Calypso stopped to decide a topic for a moment. “This may sound weird, but when I’m having one of my bad moments, I try to picture my happy place. I think that was something my mum advised me to do already when I was a kid.”

“What is your happy place like then?” Leo asked quietly.

A tiny smile raised on Calypso’s lips when she started imagining it.

“It’s some place warm. Somewhere where I can see the sun shining and birds singing and smell the salty sea air and maybe some eucalyptus trees… Earlier… when I tried picturing it… I was usually alone there. Like, I wasn’t able to picture anyone else with me there for some reason.” She was glad that Leo couldn’t see her blushing because his eyes were closed. Normally, she would have a hard time admitting these kinds of things but seeing Leo’s vulnerable state, she felt her walls disappear. “But now? I think I’d want you to be there too. And why not Festus and maybe some other animals too if you liked that. Georgina doing her things somewhere in the background. And… Well, that was it.” Calypso did have another wish too, but it was way too personal and way too early into their relationship to even mention it, especially in the current situation.

“I think that sounds great,” Leo answered. A tiny, lopsided smile appeared on his face briefly and Calypso took that as a good sign. He wasn’t trembling anymore either.

“Yeah. Well, what about you? What’s your happy place?”

Leo thought about it for a while. “I… I feel most comfortable with my machines. So… I think I’d like to be in a giant garage. Where it smells like machine oil and where I get to listen to Rolling Stones or some other old school rock bands…”

Calypso remembered that Leo had once told her his mom had used to listen to those bands. “I get why you would want that, but wouldn’t it be lonely there?” she asked.

“No,” Leo shook his head. “I wouldn’t be alone there. I would like you to be there too. If you wanted to. And of course my family and Festus too.”

“But what would I do in your garage?” Calypso asked confusedly.

“You would have your own space there,” Leo answered slowly. “You know, for your own things. Sewing machine, fabrics, painting equipment, you name it. Maybe there would be a greenhouse outside the garage for your plants… or a garden… Whatever you prefer.”

“Oh.” Calypso’s mouth formed an ‘o’ when she tried to picture it. Leo had clearly thought about this topic more than she had expected. “That sounds amazing…”

She was already going to change the topic when Leo surprised her again by continuing: “You and I are both good with our hands, making new things, so we could try to create something together, combining our skills. Who knows, maybe we could even start a company or something together. Once we’ve graduated, of course.”

“Hold on.” Calypso furrowed her eyebrows. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this. Would you actually want to do that?”

“Yeah, why not?” Leo asked, finally opening his eyes and looking up at Calypso. In the darkness of the room they looked almost black but the lamp on the bedside table gave them a warm glow.

“You mean it?” Calypso had never had anyone who would have included her into their future plans in her life before and suddenly she felt a bit overwhelmed with emotion when she understood that someone actually cared about her that much.

“Yeah. Of course. You really think I start joking about that when I’m…” he gestured at himself, “in this state?”

“No, of course not,” Calypso tried to reassure him, removing one of her hands from his hair and squeezing his hand instead. “It’s a… really nice dream. Maybe… if everything goes well… it can become true,” Her voice started cracking because she had just realized how much she’d really want the dream to become true, for both of their sake, but she found it scary to think too far into the future. The quietness from her father’s end kept her on her toes even now and there were a lot of other question marks in the air as well.

“Maybe.”

“You’re not hyperventilating anymore,” Calypso decided to change the topic before she got too sentimental. “That’s good.”

“Your advice really helped,” Leo stated. However, his eyes were focused on something Calypso couldn’t see and that made her believe that something was still bothering him.

“Does this happen to you often?” Calypso wanted to know. “I mean, the panic attacks.”

“Not so often lately,” Leo replied. “Believe it or not, for the past year or so I’ve been pretty good.” He lowered his voice into a whisper when he added: “Even better when I got a new roommate. But before I moved in with my family and got some therapy, it was… it was pretty bad.”

“I hate that you had to go through that…” Calypso tightened her grip on his hand slightly.

“It is what it is,” Leo sighed. “At some point… you almost get used to it. But really, I have made some progress. Um, despite the slight setback at Christmas,” he added when he saw Calypso’s skeptical expression.

“But that was understandable. It can be a difficult time for anyone…” Calypso left the words ‘who has lost someone important to them’ unsaid because she doubted that Leo needed more reminders of that particular incident in that moment.

“Yeah… You might be right,” Leo muttered, and silence fell into the room again. Calypso kept absentmindedly running her thumb on the back of his hand while she listened to the chatting and laughing on the other side of the wall.

Eventually, she asked quietly: “Do you know what caused the attack? If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine, of course.”

“The fireworks… I remembered some things when I heard the bang…” Leo managed to say.

Calypso raised her eyebrows. “I’m sorry if I ask too much, but what things did you remember?”

“It was… I was living on the streets back in those days…”

Calypso allowed Leo to take his time, not pushing him to continue with his answer.

“It was late at night… I was still in Houston back then. I had this spot in the outskirts of the town where I thought I was safe from the cops and other people I didn’t want to run into so I used to hang out there a lot.”

“Safe from cops? What do you mean by that?”

“I knew that if they caught me, they would bring me right back to my old foster home… Or worse, a new one that was even worse than the previous. I’ve told you, I didn’t have good experiences in my foster homes.”

“Yeah… I remember,” Calypso nodded understandingly.

“Besides, I didn’t exactly have a lot of money so I may have had to shoplift once or twice to keep myself alive while I was on the streets. So, not exactly the cops’ best friend. But anyway, that wasn’t the point of this story. I was gonna tell you what happened on one specific day.”

“OK. No rush,” Calypso said. She noticed that Leo seemed to get stiffer again on her lap but as long as still wanted to keep talking, she didn’t want to interrupt.

“So, I was settling into my hiding spot for the night when I heard it. Gunshots nearby. At first I hoped that someone was just out there hunting in the forest, but it was pitch black outside so the timing didn’t make sense. Then I heard footsteps coming closer to where I was hiding and more gunshots. I decided I needed to leave my hiding spot until the people were gone but I made a lot of noise when I tried to withdraw farther from the road so the shooter probably heard me. I don’t really remember what exactly happened after that but I know there was another bang… and a bullet on the tree right behind me… only a few feet from my head.”

“Oh gods,” Calypso gasped. She wished she could say something comforting as a response but it was easier said than done. Leo saved her from the trouble, though, because he added bitterly:

“I got lucky that the shooter had the police after him because he didn’t have time to stop and make sure he had hit me. But… from what I later heard… not everyone was that lucky.” Leo sniffed loudly and rubbed his eyes, trying to hide the tears.

Calypso clenched her fists. “Sorry… I shouldn’t have made you tell me that. But what… What kind of person does that to other people? Especially to kids? I don’t… I don’t get it…”

“Yeah… me neither.”

“But that incident… The sound of the fireworks made you remember the shooting?” Calypso attempted to connect the dots.

“Yeah... When I heard that sound… I dunno. My mind started racing and I started wondering what if it actually was a shooter and not just some fireworks? I didn’t see where the sound came from because the curtains were closed, after all. And when my mind starts racing, it really starts racing. You weren’t there at that moment so I got afraid that something had happened to you. And the panic attack was ready.”

Calypso understood perfectly. When she was having one of her bad moments, she kept reliving her sister’s accident and worrying it would happen again with someone else. It had taken her a long while to convince herself that it was safe enough to drive a car or to be a passenger in one. Even though she was able to drive again these days, the small nagging noise still hadn’t entirely disappeared from her head and she doubted it ever would.

“Well, I’m here now. I’m alright. You’re alright.” She gave him a small, encouraging smile. “Come here.” She patted the spot next to her to tell him to get up from his lying position so she could hug him. Leo looked at him questioningly for a moment, though.

“But what if someone comes in and sees us?”

“I kinda don’t care right now,” Calypso stated seriously. “Besides… I think we are not that great of actors. They probably know anyway.”

“Alright,” Leo replied and sat up on his spot on the bed. He buried his face against her neck and wrapped his arms around her waist, stroking her back as if to get a verification that she was really there with him.

“Gods, I’m making you regret your decision to be my girlfriend, aren’t I?” he mumbled against her skin.

“No,” Calypso said firmly when she broke the hug. “If anything, I think I love you even more when I hear about these things. You’re a really strong person who has just been through too much, too young.”

“But… you shouldn’t have to be my therapist,” Leo noted.

“I don’t see it that way. I want to help you feel better because you’re important to me. Besides...” Calypso added, thinking that a little humor wouldn’t hurt in that situation, “I’m trusting you’ll do the same for me when I need it.”

“Okay, I’ll be prepared,” Leo promised.

Suddenly the two realized that the people outside the room had gathered together and were doing a countdown.

“Ten, nine, eight…”

“Woah, sounds like it’s midnight already. We must have been here for at least an hour…” Calypso said.

“Seven, six, five…”

“Yeah. Time flies fast when you’re having a panic attack,” Leo managed to ‘joke’.

“Four, three, two, one…”

“I don’t get how you can joke about it already, but OK.”

“Happy new year!” yelled a big group of people in sync outside Frank’s bedroom.

“Happy new year,” the flatmates said at the same time.

“Or at least a better year than the previous one,” Leo added. “Although, I will admit it did have some good mo… woah!”

Calypso surprised Leo by gently pulling him closer to her, her hands coming to rest on each side of his neck when her lips touched his. Even though they had already shared a few kisses since the moment when they had decided to cross the line between a friend and a lover, Calypso still felt the sparks flying down her spine like fireworks when she felt Leo responding to it. His lips felt so soft (had he been using lip balm, she wondered) and his body so warm against hers, and it wasn’t until then that she realized that she had been actually feeling rather cold in her dark sleeveless dress.

“Goodness, Cal, you’re freezing,” Leo noted when they broke apart, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. “This is where a gentleman would offer you a coat but as it happens, I don’t have one.”

Calypso smiled at him. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine. Guess I was at the balcony just a bit too long.”

“Oh. Well, don’t do that again,” Leo said seriously.

“What if I will?” Calypso questioned.

“Then I’ll build a sauna into our flat and make sure you use it no matter what my fear says.”

“Wow. I doubt our landlord would love that. I mean, you building a sauna without permission.”

“Pfft, who cares about his opinion?” Leo asked before turning his attention to the sounds of celebration on the other side of the door. “Hey, should we go back to the others? I think I can handle it now.”

“Alright,” Calypso agreed. “And remember, we can leave any time you feel like it.”

“Okay,” Leo nodded and got up from the bed. They held hands for a moment longer before opening the door and having to act like nothing had happened again. Calypso didn’t mind the acting too much, though, when she saw that Leo was able to smile and joke again. Hopefully that year really would be a better one.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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youngjusticeslut · 4 years

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Center Stage (Chapters 2 and 3)

Fandom: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power Characters: Adora, Catra, Glimmer, Bow, Mermista, Sea Hawk, Kyle, Perfuma, Frosta Ships: Catradora, Glimbow, Seamista, Kygelio, Scorptra Rating: T+ AO3

“That’s where I know you from! The audition,” Adora explains. It takes Catra a moment to connect the dots, but she remembers the other blonde and bristles slightly. The cute blonde was… Adora. Peachy. “I’m so sorry, I meant to introduce myself then, but I was just so overwhelmed— You get it, don’t you? One day you’re the top of your class at your shitty ballet school and then suddenly…” she trails off, flushing pink. “Sorry. I ramble when I’m nervous.”

Shit. She’s cuter when she rambles. “It’s okay,” Catra waves her off. “Sometimes I can’t believe it either.”

A Catradora Ballet AU

Catra leans against the windowsill of Scorpia’s dorm room, holding a freshly lit cigarette and watching the fresh flock of students arrive. Move-in day. The start of a new year, and for some, a new life. As mutually agreed upon by both her and Octavia, the day she moved into Bright Moon was to be the last day of her foster arrangement. The day she’d been looking forward to since moving to New York City was finally here, and for that, she couldn’t be more grateful.

So why isn’t she shiny and smiling like the rest of the people pouring into the school? Catra pulls the cigarette to her lips, taking a long drag before blowing out the smoke into the air. She should be excited. She is finally here, a chance at the opportunity of a lifetime, and finally away from the shitty place she called home. She should be bouncing off the fucking walls with glee.

Per usual, Catra doesn’t have an answer. Instead she just hangs out of the window, glancing upon these people’s lives and pretending they were hers. Unlike her, most of the arriving students boast several belongings to their name, with parents helping them drag everything inside. Everything she owned had fit quite nicely into her ballet bag and one backpack, clothes, shoes and all.

From her position, she can hear a myriad of conversations, though they all carry the same general context. It was all ‘Honey come help me with this’, or ‘Mom, stop being so embarrassing, I’ll be fine’. Catra tells herself she doesn’t care, despite the pit in her stomach telling her that she obviously does.

“You haven’t left that spot in an hour, Wildcat,” Scorpia notes from her bed, turning the page to the magazine she was reading. “You about ready to tell me what’s up?”

“Nothing’s up,” Catra mutters. She finishes off her cigarette and stamps it out on the windowsill before joining Scorpia at the end of her bed. “People are just obnoxious, is all.”

Scorpia chuckles. “The ballet types are… a lot, but you get used to it.”

And what if she doesn’t? Catra huffs out a sigh and pulls her knees to her chest. She is nothing like the other girls, it didn’t take more than five minutes of being here to realize that. There must have been some mistake in her acceptance, she obviously doesn’t belong.

“Hey,” Scorpia nudges Catra with her foot. “It’s just the first day. Don’t get in your head.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. It’s all over your face.” Scorpia sits up, crossing her legs. “What are you thinking about?”

What was Catra supposed to say? That the place that she thought would make her feel most confident actually left her feeling more insecure than she ever had before? That now she had no home to go back to and nothing but her meager belongings to her name? Scorpia had been there for her through everything, shouldn’t she already know? A good friend might have let her barriers down and engaged in some ‘girl-talk’. Catra isn’t exactly what she’d consider to be a ‘good friend’.

“Just… how new this all is. I still don’t feel like it’s real,” she admits, because that much is true. Catra knows what would happen if she told Scorpia the truth. Scorpia would immediately start being her amazing self, offering advice and reassurances and all the words that would make Catra want to gag. She didn’t need that right now. Not from Scorpia.

Scorpia hums to herself before nodding, tracing a finger over Catra’s palm. It was a thing they did when they were younger, in ballet class. Back when things were equally as shitty, but simpler. “We can make it real, you know,” she says, grinning at Catra. “Your roommates are probably here by now. Let’s go meet them.”

Catra rolls her eyes, moving her hand away and burying it inside her thick nest of hair. “So you’re my mom now? Pass.”

The bed creaks as Scorpia laughs.“It’ll be fun! I’ll help you unpack, we’ll play some music, and make sure you get top bunk.”

It was definitely an option. Meeting her roommates would definitely make everything more real. Unless they were horrible, and stuck up, then that would be a little too real and Catra isn’t sure if she’s ready for that yet.

“I don’t think so,” she replies, wishing she’d stuffed more than one cigarette in the pocket of her jeans. She really needs better hindsight, because now she wants another cigarette, and it’s far too much work to dig through all her shit and find the carton. “I don’t need to be babied.”

Scorpia scoffs, inching closer and laying on her stomach so that she’s right across from Catra. “I’m not babying you. Just… wanna help you out. The first day in a new place can be rough on anyone.”

“I don’t need help,” Catra says, but with a smile. “I have two bags, it’ll take me all of ten minutes to put my shit away and that’s barely three shitty songs, or two good ones. Don’t worry so much,” she sighs, but appreciates her friend’s concern nonetheless. “I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will be.”

Catra lets the silence hang in the air for a few minutes. “You sure you can’t be my roommate?” she asks, softer than Scorpia has ever heard her voice before. It would be a hell of a lot easier if Scorpia was her roommate. They got along, most of the time. Knew the way the other worked. “We’ll do an illegal switcheroo, or something. I’ll bribe her.”

“You have like, ten dollars in your bank account.”

“Maybe she really likes coffee. If someone bought me a coffee, I’d take it as a bribe.”

Scorpia reaches forward and tucks a loose strand of hair behind Catra’s ear. Without words, Catra knows what she means; she would if she could.

Catra sighs, cracking her back before climbing off the bed. “Alright, I’m going.”

“Sure you don’t want me to come?” Scorpia asks, the slight whine in her voice betraying that she really wanted Catra to say no.

“I’m sure,” Catra says anyway. “I’ll be fine. If it’s just some stuck-up brat I’ll show them who’s boss. I’m a nightmare, remember?”

Scorpia grabs her magazine again, shaking her head with a smile. “You’re not a nightmare.” She pauses, not opening the magazine immediately. “Hey, Catra?”

“Yeah?” When Catra doesn’t receive an immediate response, she turns towards Scorpia, both bags on her shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! Nothing’s wrong, at least…” she chuckles, her cheeks tingeing pink. “Look, every year, the ballet company hosts a gala on the first weekend of the school year. It’s a whole show, and then a party afterwards.”

Catra adjusts the bags on her shoulders, making sure she has everything before looking back at Scorpia. “Cool.”

“Yeah, it is. Cool, I mean.” Scorpia clears her throat. “I just thought, maybe you’d like to go together?”

She fights back a grimace. Galas are stuffy and boring— or so she’d heard, at least. Not like she’d ever attended one. “Is attendance mandatory?”

“Kind of.”

“Then sure. Better than going alone, I guess.” At least if Scorpia was there, she wouldn’t have to go and talk to people she really doesn’t care about.

“Cool,” Scorpia repeats, grinning to herself a bit. “That sounds good. Text me later?”

Catra heads for the door. “I’ll think about it,” she says, lugging her bags out as she leaves. A gala meant that she would have to buy a dress. She’d considered throwing her stained blue formal dress in her bag this morning, but she’d left it at the bottom of her closet. In retrospect, she really shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions before nine am.

She follows the hallway of the girls’ dormitory to room 1130. It wasn’t hard to find again; she’d lingered just outside earlier today, but hadn’t wanted to face it just yet. Instead she’d just hidden like a coward in Scorpia’s room. This time, however, the door was open.

In the room stood a petite blonde girl, humming to a song on the radio and unpacking her things. At least she was alone. Catra takes a deep breath, steadying herself before entering the room. “Room 1130?” she asks, pretending she didn’t know where she was in an effort to make conversation.

The girl startles and turns around, but smiles at Catra. “Looks like you’re my roommate.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, holding her hand out. “I’m Adora.”

Catra glances downward at the outstretched hand, hesitating for a second before she ends up taking it, giving it a light squeeze. “Guess I am. Catra,” she answers. There’s something familiar about this girl, Adora. Something that she can’t put her finger on just yet.

Adora figures it out first, after she pulls her hand away. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

“Don’t think so.” Catra throws her stuff on the top bunk, relieved to see that it’s unclaimed. That’s one confrontation she doesn’t have to have.

“No, I definitely do. I’d remember those eyes,” she explains.

Catra blinks, turning back to look at Adora. “My eyes?”

“Yeah,” Adora replies, shrugging as she continues to unpack. “It’s not every day you see someone with one blue and one hazel eye.”

“Most people find it intimidating.” The words come off harsh, but Catra doesn’t mean them to be. When she was younger, kids, teachers, foster parents, you name it, had been afraid to look her in the eyes. She’s used to it by now. Catra unzips her own bag, figuring that now was a good time as any to start unpacking. Might as well, if Adora was already doing it.

The two cross paths on her way to the dresser. Adora laughs a bit, looking right at her. “Sorry. I know New York City rooms are famous for being small, but this is…”

“Ridiculous,” Catra finishes for her, unable to help the smile that forms on her lips. “You from New York?”

“The Bronx, born and raised. You?”

“Brooklyn. Past seven years.” Seven years. Catra can’t believe that it’s been that long already. Feels like just yesterday she was still just a little twerp on the Subway, trying her best to navigate the map herself.

Adora lights up. “That’s where I know you from! The audition,” she explains. It takes Catra a moment to connect the dots, but she remembers the other blonde and bristles slightly. The cute blonde was… Adora. Peachy. “I’m so sorry, I meant to introduce myself then, but I was just so overwhelmed— You get it, don’t you? One day you’re the top of your class at your shitty ballet school and then suddenly…” she trails off, flushing pink. “Sorry. I ramble when I’m nervous.”

Shit. She’s cuter when she rambles. “It’s okay,” Catra waves her off. “Sometimes I can’t believe it either.”

“Are you kidding? Your dancing is incredible. I knew they’d take you in a heartbeat, even if you were late.”

“What can I say?” She smirks, unable to help herself, shooting a wink at Adora. “I like to make an entrance.” Maybe she’d judged her too harshly. If this is how it was going to be, she can get behind this whole ‘roommate’ thing. Catra brushes past her, moving to rustle in her bag for another cigarette. She pretends not to notice Adora stiffen as she does so.

She also pretends not to notice Adora’s eyes on her, watching her every move as she lights the cigarette. “I thought dancers aren’t supposed to smoke. Body is a temple, and all that.”

Catra’s smirk only deepens, taking a long drag and blowing out the smoke. This girl had balls; for years, Scorpia had danced around her displeasure of Catra smirking. Adora had called her out in minutes. “My body is a temple,” she notes, leaning against the back wall of their room. The tension melts away as the dose of nicotine settles into her system, so she’s able to play it cool, relaxed. “Want a drag?”

“I’ll pass.”

She plays it coy, tilting her head to the side. “What’s your drug of choice?”

Adora doesn’t respond right away, mulling the question over as she continues to unpack her things. “Empanadas,” she admits with a cheeky smile. “And anything with vodka.”

“Svedka?” Catra teases.

“Please.” Adora waves her off, turning to face her before crossing her arms over her chest. “I can drink anyone under the table.”

Unlikely. They both seem to be around the same age, so unless Adora has a super great fake ID, there’s no way anyone was legally letting her drink. Plus, Adora is hardly taller than her, and weighs a hundred and thirty pounds at most. She’d be a lightweight for sure. Still, Catra finds her attempt almost sweet. “Is that so? Well then, maybe one night you’ll have to show me.”

Adora gives Catra a wink of her own. “Count on it.”

“Uh, hey.” Catra and Adora both turn to the new voice. In the doorway stands another girl, staring at them both quite warily. She looks at the room number outside, as if to confirm she’s in the right place, before settling her gaze on her future roommates. “I’m Glimmer. Guess we’re all roommates.”

Catra hadn’t even taken notice that there was a single bed, off to the side. Three roommates, one tiny room. Perfect; figures that Bright Moon would cut corners on something. The girl, Glimmer, doesn’t seem too thrilled either. Her face is nearly as pink as her hair, light and flush. Judging by the two huge suitcases beside her, she was a total princess type. Just her luck.

“Don’t sound too excited, Roomie,” Catra simpers, hoping to convey that she wasn’t to be trifled with. “We promise we won’t harsh your mellow.” She takes extra pleasure in the chuckle Adora tries to hide behind a cough.

Glimmer nods, swallowing nervously before lugging her suitcase inside. “...Right.”

Adora recovers from her chuckle, extending a hand to Glimmer just like she had with Catra. “I’m Adora, and this is Catra. This is our first year at Bright Moon.”

“Obviously.” Glimmer pulls her suitcases over to her bed before she takes Adora’s hand. “I know everybody else.”

“Everyone? Even the janitors?” Catra asks, unable to help herself from egging this girl on. If she didn’t, she was certain that this ‘Glimmer’ girl would try to stake her superiority over them. Catra had seen it before, with older foster siblings.

“Even the janitors.” Glimmer sighs and turns to Catra with a wary expression. “I’ve been here since I was nine. I can introduce them to you, if you want.”

“I’m good,” she mutters, focusing her attention on puffing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

“Wait, nine?” Adora sits on her bunk, crossing her legs. “That’s nuts. Did you grow up here?”

Glimmer hums, nodding as she thinks it over. She opens her suitcases, revealing an impeccably sorted array of every item a dancer could ever want. “Yeah, kinda. I’ve been in the kids program, and then graduated to the upper levels. My parents own the school,” Glimmer explains, pulling out each perfectly pressed leotard and placing it in her dresser. Catra can’t help the twinge of jealousy in her stomach. She barely had two leotards to her name, and this girl seemed to own the whole catalogue. Her hand twitches and the previously forgotten cigarette slips, burning her. Shit. What a fucking waste of a cigarette.

She mutters to herself and yanks her bag off her bed, rummaging around until she finds her tiny ashtray and the carton. The burn on her leg bothers her, but she’s had worse. It would pucker up and scab in a couple of days. Once Catra puts her cigarette out, she immediately sets to lighting a second one.

“What are you doing?”

Catra looks up, noticing that both Adora and Glimmer’s eyes were on her. “What does it look like I’m doing?” She places the stick in her mouth and takes a quick drag, trying not to laugh when Glimmer’s face changes from pink to red.

“You can’t smoke in here,” she grits out. “It’s against the rules.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t.” Catra looks to Adora for assistance, but the blonde has made herself neutral in the situation, unpacking her things as if the conversation isn’t happening.

“I’m serious. If you want to smoke, you have to do it outside.”

She sighs, shaking her head. Of course this girl had no sense of chill. Glimmer was probably born with a stick up her ass— Catra really shouldn’t be all that surprised. With everyone’s eyes on her, she walks over to the window and cracks it open, sticking her hand holding the cigarette outside. “Satisfied?” she cooes, smirking all the while.

“Do you think this is a joke?” the pink-haired girl shrills. “I’ll call security.”

Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t even give her request the time of day. It’s on the tip of her tongue to tell her to fuck off, until she remembers that Glimmer mentioned that her parents owned the school. One word to Mommy and Daddy and Catra would find herself on the street.

She stands up straighter, her shoulders tensing. “Fine.” Catra glances back at Adora. “You coming?”

To her credit, Adora very much looks like she wants to go. She looks between Catra and Glimmer before rubbing the back of her head. “I should really stay and unpack.”

Catra shrugs. “Suit yourself.” She turns on her heel and leaves the room without another word. Despite being disappointed, she can’t blame Adora for staying behind. Picking Glimmer as an ally would serve her far better in the long run. She can respect that.

Even so, now she’s alone. She doesn’t really feel like going outside, but it would hurt her pride to simply put out the cigarette and go back to her room. Scorpia wasn’t an option either, she would judge her if she went back to her so soon.

“Please tell me you have another one of those.” She whirls around, nearly bumping into the boy who had spoken. “Sorry,” he says quickly, rubbing his neck with an awkward chuckle. “Guess that came out of nowhere.”

“No shit,” Catra mutters.

“I’m Bow. And I would just about die for one of those right now,” he continues. In a strange moment of kindness, Catra hands over the cigarette. Bow accepts it gratefully, taking a puff and blowing out the smoke to the side.

Catra watches him, slightly amused. “So… Bow. Is that your real name?”

“It’s my stage name. Because, like my dancing, I’m sturdy and yet ever so graceful.” He winks at Catra and hands back the cigarette. “What’s your stage name?”

“Don’t need one.” Catra places the cigarette back in her mouth and inhales, savoring the smoke before she blows it out. “I’m Catra.”

Bow grins. “An individual, I like it. You’re new?”

“What, is it written on my forehead or something?”

“Something like that. The returning students kind of all know each other, it’s a small class.”Catra nods at the response. A small class means more talent. So why the hell was she here? “Oh hey!” Bow exclaims, his face lighting up. “Come meet my roommates. I think you’ll get a kick out of them.”

She grimaces before she can stop herself. Meeting new people and making friends wasn’t too high on her list of priorities at the moment. Or, well, ever. “I was just going to head outside and smoke. Apparently it’s not allowed in the dorms.”

Bow scoffs and takes her arm, already dragging her towards the stairway. “Don’t worry about it. My roommates are cool. They don’t share their goods, but they’ll be fine if you bring your own.”

“Just like that?” She purses her lips and has to fight to stay coordinated with the way this Bow kid is dragging her. “No narcs?”

“No narcs.”

Not like Catra has much of a choice, but she figures that Scorpia would be proud of her if she reported back that she at least made an attempt at being social, so… why not?

—

When Bow opens the door to his room, he and Catra are greeted with a rather unusual sight. A Britney Spears song blasts full-volume from a laptop, one boy is doing a rather enthusiastic set of squats in a set of shorts that are way too tight for him, and another is hanging up anime posters, wearing earphones.

Bow’s cheeks flush as the two stand in the doorway, and he shoots Catra a look of apology. “I was hoping they’d be more normal, by now.”

Catra stares at the odd scenario before breaking into a grin. She can work with weird. “I can see why you went out for a stroll.” She means it in good jest. Actually, she much prefers whatever is going on here to the tension in her room. “Are you really hanging Naruto posters up right now?” she calls out to the boy wearing headphones.

He jumps at her accusation, taking out his earphones. “Uh… yeah?” he stammers, looking between her and Bow, clearly intimidated.

“Catra, this is Kyle.” Bow walks over to the laptop and hits pause on the music. “And this is— “

The exercise enthusiast quickly turns around, shooting a wink at Catra and leaning on the desk. “They call me Seahawk.”

Bow groans. “Not this again,” he mumbles under his breath before pinching his temple. “Sebastian. His name is Sebastian.”

“But I want to be called Sea Hawk.” He props up a leg on his bed, striking a pose. “For I am swift, and my dancing is known to intimidate my prey.”

Over in the corner, Kyle shakes his head. “I’m pretty sure that’s not what sea hawks do—” He doesn’t get far in his thoughts, for the alleged Sea Hawk dashes over and covers his mouth.

“Like I said,” he continues, a little out of breath. “Swift and intimidating.”

“Sea Hawk, huh?” Cigarettes forgotten, Catra enters the room and plops down on the desk chair, sitting on it backwards and leaning on top of the backrest. “I’ve heard worse.”

The boy, now known as Sea Hawk, sidles up to her. “Do you think it’s cool?”

“Oh, no. Definitely not cool.” Catra grins at his disappointed look, tilting her head to the side. “But it is memorable. So… what the hell, Sea Hawk it is.” Sea Hawk beams so hard he looks like he’s going to hurt himself, and Catra almost regrets giving him the compliment. So instead, the glances at Kyle. “What’s your deal?”

“Deal?” The smaller boy finally wrestles himself out of Sea Hawk’s grasp, fumbling a bit and stumbling backwards onto his bunk. “No deal. I don’t have a deal.”

It’s a wonder how someone so nervous and intimidated by her very presence ended up as a ballet dancer. Catra twirls a loose strand of hair around her finger, deciding to play with him a little bit. She likes having the upper hand. “Let me guess. You’re from a small town. Only ballet dancer in your area by miles. Somehow, you lucked out into attending one of the best schools in the country.”

Kyle flushes red, unable to meet her eyes. “Something like that.”

Bow, the peacemaker, offers him a life raft and takes over the conversation. “Kyle and I have been roommates for… what, three years now?” When Kyle nods, Bow turns back to Catra. “He may not look it, but Kyle is super light on his feet. Gives some of the girls a run for their money.”

Though she has no reason to doubt Bow, Catra still finds herself wary. The kid looks like he weighs no more than a hundred and fifty pounds, and that’s if she’s being generous. His arms are small, and she wonders how he’s able to hold up a dance partner; the last thing she needs is to be paired up with him.

To push the thoughts out of her head, she finds something to distract herself with on the desk. A few notebooks, Sea Hawk’s laptop… but her interest is piqued at the photograph taped up to the side. “Is that Rogelio Andrés?” Catra asks, scooting closer to get a better look.

Rogelio Andrés may be Bright Moon Ballet’s newest company member, but his performances have been talked about by many. Every year, Catra would scrape up enough money to attend Bright Moon’s student showcase, and Rogelio’s pieces always stood out. It was no question that he was offered a spot in the company after graduating from the academy.

“He’s a legend,” she muses to herself, backing away from the photo.

Kyle grins. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“Shut up,” Catra scoffs. There is no way that a guy like Rogelio would ever give a boy like Kyle the time of day. “I may not like men, but even I know that’s a load of crap.”

Off to the side, Bow snickers. “When are you gonna come off it, Kyle?”

“I’m not making it up!” Kyle’s face is red as can be, and he crosses his arms across his chest. “We’ve been dating for over a year.”

“It would appear hard to believe…” Sea Hark drawls. “You’ve never mentioned him before.”

“Because we like to keep things private. Everyone is always in everyone’s business here,” Kyle explains, moving away from Sea Hawk when the boy rests his head on his shoulder. “And technically company members aren’t allowed to date students. So we don’t talk about it.”

“Yeah, because it’s bullshit. You’re making it up,” Catra concludes.

“I don’t need to prove anything to you guys. Believe what you want,” Kyle sputters before sliding into his shoes. “I’m going out.”

Bow hides a giggle under his palm. “Don’t hurt yourself, buddy,” he calls after Kyle as he storms out. Once he’s gone, he shoots a wink at Catra. “He’s pretty fun to mess with.”

“Noted.”

“Bow, did you happen to catch a glimpse of my sweet Mermista while you were out?” With Kyle gone, Sea Hawk spreads out on his bed and makes himself comfortable. “It has been ages since I last saw her. My heart yearns for her presence.”

Catra chokes back a laugh. This guy can’t be serious. She’s about to call him out on the act, but upon closer look, Sea Hawk appears to be entirely committed.

“Haven’t seen her.” Bow nods to Catra. “Mermista is his on-again, off-again girlfriend.”

“Which is it now, off or on?” she asks.

Sea Hawk smiles sheepishly. “Off. We may have gotten into a little tiff in the tunnel of love at the amusement park last month, but no matter! I shall win her back posthaste.”

Posthaste? Who even says that anymore?

“Suddenly I see the need for a smoke,” Catra mutters. Still, she would take this over-the-top geek and the anime-loving compulsive liar over the princess back in her room. She messes a bit with her bangs before looking at Bow. “Say, you know anything about a girl named Sparkles?”

“Sparkles?” He cocks his head to the side, trying to figure out if he knows anyone by the name before he lights up and chuckles. “Do you mean Glimmer?”

“Sparkles, Glimmer, same difference.”

A flush appears on Bow’s cheeks, and instead of answering he gets up and starts rummaging under his bed. After a few moments, he pulls out a guitar. “We’re friends,” he says, playing nonchalant as he tunes the guitar.

There’s obviously more to the story, but Catra’s pushed enough buttons today, so she keeps from pressing further. “She’s my roommate,” she explains, messing with her fingers. “We didn’t exactly get off on the right foot.”

Bow nods thoughtfully, checking the strings to make sure they sound right before he proceeds to strum. “That doesn’t surprise me. Glimmer can rub some people the wrong way.” He bites his lip, stopping to play. “You just need to get to know her.”

It’s probably good advice, especially coming from someone who knows Glimmer personally. At the moment, however, Catra’s still licking her wounds, so she’ll let the Princess be the one to make amends. After all, it’s the least she can do.

They sit in a comfortable silence after. Bow plays on his guitar. Catra plays solitaire on her phone. Sea Hawk lights up a cigarette and they all share it. Even Catra has to admit, this isn’t too bad. She can get used to this.

—

After Catra left, there was a quiet, awkward tension in the room as Adora and Glimmer proceeded to unpack. Every attempt that Adora made at conversation, Glimmer politely shut down. After a while, she stopped trying, getting the hint that Glimmer needs some time to herself. For the most part, Adora regrets not going with Catra. It’s been an hour and she hasn’t returned, and she can only imagine what kind of things she’s getting up to. Anything is better than dealing with this uncomfortable silence.

Once Adora finishes unpacking, she climbs on her bed and debates how to spend the rest of her day. Exploring the school is an option. Better yet, she can take her class schedule and map out the perfect route to all of her classes, ensuring that she’ll be early to each one. Yeah, that doesn’t sound so bad.

In the middle of making these plans, her stomach growls. A quick glance at her clock tells her that it’s lunchtime; with all the excitement of moving in and the little confrontation between Catra and Glimmer, lunch was the last thing on her mind. She longingly thinks back to the muffin she’d eaten that morning and had been too nervous to finish. Stupid nerves.

She quickly glances over to Glimmer, who throws the last couple of things in her dresser before zipping up her suitcase. One more attempt couldn’t hurt, right? If the three of them are going to be roommates, they may as well be on good terms.

“I think I’m going to get some lunch,” Adora says, getting off her bed and stretching a bit. “Do you want anything?”

Glimmer looks at her, eyes wide, almost as if she’d forgotten that Adora was there. She looks as if she’s about to say something, but before she can, her stomach growls. The two laugh a bit, and Glimmer rubs the back of her neck. “Lunch actually sounds pretty good right now. Would it be okay if I joined you?”

“Not at all. It’d probably be easier if you direct me to the cafeteria anyway,” Adora notes, grabbing her student ID and sliding into her sneakers.

“Yeah, trust me, you do not want to get lost here.” Glimmer follows suit and exits first, holding the door open for Adora to follow. “I guess it’s not as big a deal today, but when classes start, being late is a huge no-no.”

“Good to know.” As Glimmer leads the way to the cafeteria, Adora notes to herself to go on that mapping-plan as soon as lunch is over.

They walk in silence for a few minutes, navigating the halls and narrowly avoiding students carrying their bags and various belongings. On the whole, it seems like most people have been at the school for a while; new students seem few and far between.

“Are you and Catra close?” Glimmer asks once they’ve made it past most of the chaos.

“We just met.” Though it certainly felt like they’d known each other for longer. There was something about her that Adora just couldn’t explain, but they’d clicked within minutes. “But she seems pretty cool.”

Glimmer sighs, sticking her hands in her pockets. “I’m sorry, about earlier. I didn’t mean to piss Catra off, and I really didn’t mean to come off so… uptight, I guess.” She pauses, blowing some hair out of her eyes. “It’s just that my parents own the school. If they suddenly walked in and my room smelled like cigarettes…” she trails off, biting her lip.

As Adora mulls it over, the worse she realizes the situation could have been. “No, yeah, that’s understandable,” she says. “I think she was just taken aback, is all.”

“No, she was rude,” Glimmer huffs before shaking her head and taking a deep breath. “It’s fine, I’ll get over it. I just don’t want us to be fighting all year.” She glances sideways at Adora. “Truce?”

Adora nods, resting a hand on Glimmer’s shoulder. “Truce. I’ll talk to Catra, get her to come around. I’m sure we’ll all be friends in no time.”

“Friends, right.” Something in her expression leads Adora to believe that she seriously doubts that, but she plays it cool and doesn’t press her on it. They arrive at the cafeteria, and for the most part, it’s pretty relaxed. Most people must still be in their dorms, unpacking.

Adora’s eyes immediately gravitate to the several dining options available, but because Glimmer heads towards the salad bar, she follows her. Better to stick to the status quo, at least for today. Maybe she can make some more adventurous choices for dinner.

Still, as she loads up her plate with mixed greens, she can’t help but think of the chicken Mara had been marinating last night for this evening’s dinner. Maybe she could sneak back home? No. No, that was ridiculous. Adora belongs to Bright Moon now, and Bright Moon dancers eat salad, apparently. Most of the other girls seem to be eating various forms of the same green meal, so she sucks it up and attempts to load her plate.

By the time she’s finished and has paid with her student ID, her plate holds twice the amount as Glimmer’s. Glimmer glances over at her plate, almost with a look of longing, but she says nothing as she scours for the perfect place to sit. “I think I see some of my friends over there,” she notes, waving to a group of girls sitting at a table by a window. “Do you mind if we sit with them?”

Adora shrugs. Meeting more people is good. Meeting the competition is even better. “Sure. Makes no difference to me.”

“Great.” They head over to the table. The closer they get, the more at-ease Glimmer appears to be. Her shoulders relax and her steps grow slower. By the time they reach the table, she seems like a completely different person.

“This is one of my roommates,” Glimmer introduces, gesturing to Adora before sitting next to a blonde girl.

“Adora.”

The blonde speaks first, offering Adora a kind smile. “I’m Perfuma. Are you new this year?”

“Guess it’s kind of obvious.” Adora takes a seat at the end of the table, on the other side of the blonde.

There’s two other girls, but they don't seem nearly as interested in Adora’s introduction. One has earphones in, only half paying attention to the conversation. When Perfuma kicks her, she groans and presses pause on her phone, reluctantly taking out a headphone. “It was just getting to the good part.”

Perfuma clears her throat, a tight smile appearing on her face. “Your murder mystery podcast can wait. We have company.”

Podcast girl glances at Adora. “I’m Mermista. Welcome to Bright Moon, or whatever.”

Mermista is a fitting name; part of Adora wonders if it’s a stage name. Her hair is a dusty turquoise color, almost as if she really were a mermaid. It’s on the tip of her tongue to ask about it, but judging by her short temper, Adora figures it’s probably best saved for another time.

“And I’m Frosta.”

Adora glances at the girl sitting next to Mermista, balking a bit. She’s a kid. “You go here?” she asks, her eyes wide. “You can’t be more than ten.”

Frosta narrows her eyes. “I’m eleven and three quarters.”

A course of laughter rings around the table. Glimmer shakes her head, resting her chin in her palm. “Frosta’s a prodigy. She’s part of the youth program.”

“But she talks like a sailor and can dance around us anyday, so we think she’s cool,” Mermista adds, nudging Frosta’s shoulder. This earns her a grin from the little girl, before she turns her gaze back on Adora with a smug expression.

“Problem?”

Adora holds her hands up in apology. “Sorry, my bad. I’m still trying to get my footing around here,” she mumbles, digging her fork into her salad.

Someone rests a hand on her shoulder— it’s Perfuma. “Did you get settled in okay? The first day can be kind of… a challenge.”

“And that’s without classes,” Glimmer agrees.

“Yeah, it’s been a lot. But I’m sure it’ll be better once I get into a routine.”

Mermista scoffs, dashing Adora’s hopes. “Don’t think that a routine will solve everything. Things are crazy at this school.”

“Mermista,” Perfuma chides, but the blue-haired girl just shrugs.

“Just being honest.” She glances down when her phone chimes, scowling immediately. She stuffs it in her pocket before tossing her braid behind her back. “I’m going to block his number, I swear.”

Glimmer raises a brow. “Sea Hawk again? I thought you guys were back on at the end of the year.”

“Yeah, we’re off again. For good this time.” As soon as she says it, a chorus of snickers rings out around the table, and Mermista slams her hands down to emphasize her point. “I mean it this time. We’re through.”

“That’s what you always say,” Frosta says before rolling her eyes.

“Sea Hawk is Mermista’s boy— sorry, ex-boyfriend,” Glimmer tells Adora once she sees her confused expression. “Give them like ten minutes, you’ll be as sick as the rest of us.”

As they continue to argue over Mermista’s dating situation, Adora busies herself with her salad. Her mind spins, and she can’t help the overwhelmed sensation building in her throat. It’s a little all too much. New school, new room, new people… she knew it would happen, but she thought she’d be introduced to them all a little slower.

Adora thinks about Catra, for a moment. It was easy, meeting her. Maybe it’s because Catra’s new too, but everything felt a little better when she was talking to her. Like she understood her, or something. Here, among all the girls who already knew everything, it’s a little too easy to let it get to her head. “Hey, you okay?” Adora looks up from her salad, only to find the table staring at her.

She chokes down her bite of salad, laughing nervously. “Yeah, I’m fine. Perfuma was right, the first day is just kind of a lot.”

“It’ll be better once you start dancing,” Frosta pipes up. She spears a piece of baby corn onto her fork, waving it around as she talks. “When you start to wipe the floor with people, you’ll feel better.”

Adora can’t help but laugh at the thought. If anyone is going to be wiping the floor tomorrow, it’ll be Catra. For some reason, the thought puts a smile on her face.

—

Catra doesn’t return to her dorm until long after dinner. She ended up tagging along with Bow and Sea Hawk on a McDonalds run, where they bought far too many french fries and returned to the dorm to watch that night’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy because Bow insisted he could not miss it.

All in all, it wasn’t the worst day she’s ever had. Spending time with Bow and Sea Hawk took the bitter taste out of her mouth, and Catra finds herself looking forward to classes the next day.

She fully expects Adora and Glimmer to be asleep by the time she unlocks the door. As soon as she opens it, however, she finds them sitting on the floor, waiting for her.

“Hey! You’re back,” Adora greets with a smile. “We were getting worried.”

Catra nearly snaps at her, a jerk reaction, but she catches herself right before she says it. “Thanks for the concern. I’m fine, I was just… out.”

“Did you eat? We brought back brownies from the cafeteria.” That explains the smell. For some odd reason, Catra is one of the few people in the world who detests chocolate. It’s too sweet, almost cloying. Whenever she eats it, she gets a headache. Probably explains why she’s so bitter.

“I ate already. But… thanks.” It’s the least she can say, considering the effort. She’s sure that it’s all thanks to Adora. Glimmer would probably rather she choke.

Catra keeps her back turned as she changes into her pajamas and lets her hair down. There’s an uncomfortable silence in the room, clearly brought on by her presence. For the most part, she ignores it. After years of practice, she’s grown rather good at it.

At some point, while she’s brushing her teeth in the ensuite, she hears Adora and Glimmer whisper. Glimmer yelps in pain, before she hisses something back to Adora. When she enters again, Adora has her arms crossed and Glimmer appears apologetic. “I’m sorry, if I was… too harsh earlier,” Glimmer says reluctantly. Catra finds her apology amusing. Her face is nearly as pink as her hair, and it’s clear that she’d rather be anywhere else but apologizing to her. “Next time I’ll be more considerate.”

She pauses, as if waiting for Catra to apologize in return, but Catra offers nothing of the sort. Instead she just grins. “Good. So, can I smoke in here?”

“No! Are you insane?” Adora rests a hand on her shoulder, keeping her from continuing. Instead, she takes a deep breath. “Look, we don’t have to be friends, but we do have to live together. So can we at least, I don’t know, be civil?”

Instead of replying to Glimmer, Catra glances at Adora. “This your doing?”

Adora scoffs. “No.” When Catra’s look doesn’t waver, she pouts. “Maybe. But she’s right. It’s a new year, and I don’t want to start it with roommates fighting. If Glimmer agrees to chill a little bit, do you think you could ease up on the teasing?”

She’s about to say no, but there’s something about Adora that makes Catra’s words lodge in her throat. It’s that damn pout. No matter how hard she shakes it, it’s just too damn cute.

Catra sighs. “Fine. Truce.”

Adora’s look of utter relief almost makes the agreement worth it. Almost. She climbs up onto her bed, taking her phone with her. Bow’s sent her a text, wishing her a good night’s sleep before tomorrow. Right, classes start tomorrow. Her roommate problems may be dealt with, but classes introduce a whole slew of new ones.

Catra rolls over to her side, letting out a shaky breath. She’s earned her place here. Or so she tries to tell herself. Tomorrow, she’ll find out for certain.

#spop #she ra and the princesses of power #she ra #catradora #catra #adora #ariel's writing #ballet au #center stage

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cakesunflower · 5 years

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Gold in the Clouds [Angel!Ashton AU] One Shot

A/N: this is my first Ashton piece and it’s like,,,14,000+ words long. i hope you enjoy it. also, it’s a companion piece to my Angel/Demon!Luke one shot Made of Gold. they aren’t connected plot wise too much, save for the characters, but if you wanna know who Tameera is then i suggest reading Made of Gold first! happy reading!!!

He wasn’t too fond of the severe scent of disinfectant that coated the walls of the hospital, pursing his lips together as the small heels of his boots tapped steadily against the linoleum floor. Ashton weaved his way through the hallway, making his way past doctors and nurses and anyone else as he looked for the appropriate room. Nobody really glanced at him twice, most likely having to do with the way he carried himself; confident, easy going, like he knew what he was doing, like he belonged. When in actuality, he was the one who different than every single person in the building than they could ever believe.

Eyes on the numbers next to the door, Ashton slowed down as he realized he was nearing the one he was meant to be at, stopping in front of room 4301 altogether. He couldn’t sense anyone inside, save for the only person he was looking for, and Ashton grabbed the handle before stepping inside, shutting the door behind him.

Turning around, his hazel eyes landed on the bed, throat working at the sight of the woman laying in it. He’s been around for centuries, but even now, the sight of a human being in pain, whether it be physical or emotional or mental, didn’t settle well with him. He was an angel. It was his job to protect humans, along with protecting Heaven, of course. Calum often jeered at him for having a weak stomach, for not being able to get used to the view of a damaged human. But Ashton fixed things. He fixed people. How was he to idly sit by and watch someone suffer, someone he could help with a snap of his fingers? He had these powers, so might as well put them to good use.

He tentatively approached the bed, eyes taking in the woman. She was unconscious, the only sound in the room being the steady beeping coming out of the heart monitor she was hooked up to, the only sign she was alive to humans while Ashton could sense her heart actually beating. There may be an oxygen mask helping her breathe and chemicals running through her system to bring her back from near death, but Ashton knew she was alive.

Most of her injuries were internal, he could feel as he gently placed his left palm on her forehead, fingers lighting grazing strands of red hair that were more natural, more ginger, than his. A broken rib had punctured her lung, cuts and scrapes were scattered around her skin, and her neck was placed in a brace. She suffered a number of other injuries as well, but it didn’t matter. Not when Ashton could heal them and make it so they never occurred in the first place.

He looked down at her, at the freckles dotting the tops of her cheeks and the bridge of her nose and the way the mask on her face fogged every now and then with the soft breaths she took. Then Ashton felt warm, familiarly so, as the recognizable zing pierced his ears and his eyes glowed an angelic icy blue, directing all of his power to the palm of his hand to transfer through to the woman laying unconscious in bed.

Ashton felt his energy being poured into her, watching as the cuts on her skin healed and disappeared from existence, sensing her injured bones and organs carefully healed and go back right where they belonged. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips once the process was done, taking his hand off of her and watching as the machine told him her oxygen levels were returning to normal. It was done. She was healed.

And she was opening her eyes.

A deep green pair of eyes met his hazel ones as Ashton kept his gaze on her, expression soft and smiling as he saw her slowly blink the wariness away. He could already see the instant confusion swimming in the green, probably wondering what happened, where she was, who the hell was he. Relief flooded through him as she showed positive signs of cognitive functions, just a visual confirmation that he actually did heal her, as if he had doubts. Actually seeing it was always rewarding, always a relief.

“You’re going to be okay, alright?” Ashton gently told her, bending down ever so slightly to maintain gaze. She remained still, looking up at him with wide, confused eyes. “A doctor will come take a look at you soon. You’re okay, Haley.”

He probably shouldn’t have said her name, but it just slipped past his lips before he could help it. She still gazed up at him as if she was trying to place him, wondering if she’s ever met him before, though Ashton knew the answer to that was no. They’d never met. They were only meeting now because Haley was in the car that collided with Tameera’s, his friend’s girl, and Ashton could not in his good conscious just leave Haley. He was well aware the doctors would try their best to help her, but he wanted to do his part. Healing her extensive injuries wasn’t just something he felt the need to do, but had wanted to do it. She deserved a second chance; it wasn’t her time, knowledge Ashton was privy to thanks to his status, so healing her wasn’t disrupting anything.

With the life she’s had, Ashton hoped he was helping her in offering her another go at it.

*****

Haley hadn’t been able to sleep for days. Which was fine. That was nothing new. She couldn’t remember the last time she’s had a full night’s sleep. But this time it was different. This time, instead of being haunted by a reality she wished she wasn’t living, she was thinking of the man she’d seen at the hospital. A man that apparently no one else knew of, who had apparently been a ghost in the halls of the hospital after he left her room. After he told her she was going to be okay, and she was.

For a moment, Haley wondered if she had gone crazy, because every doctor and nurse she asked about the tall, blood red haired man with the hazel eyes looked at her if there was a head injury she hadn’t healed from. No one had a clue as to who she was talking about, and it was frustrating. And then she was being told that she was perfectly fine, that her injuries weren’t serious and were ushering her out after she had signed the discharge papers. It had happened so fast and Haley genuinely wondered if they wanted her out just so they could have a bed space for a more deserving patient or if she actually was okay.

But she’d been in a car accident. Shouldn’t she at least be feeling dizzy or sore? It didn’t fucking add up.

What if she was finally going crazy? Many would say it was inevitable—herself included.

Still. Haley doubted she’d imagined that man. She couldn’t remember much of what happened before she woke up in the hospital; one minute she was in her car and the next, she was feeling a pleasurable warmth that was gently pulling her out of sleep, waking up to a pair of hazel eyes she’d never seen before.

Eyes she couldn’t seem to get out of her fucking head.

It was a wonder she didn’t get distracted easily, or she would’ve fucked up a haircut, working as a hairstylist at a salon to make a living for herself. She was good at her job, a surprise to even herself, and couldn’t afford screwing up and risk losing her only source of income. She made good money and needed every penny she earned.

Though, she did earn some time off. However, no one knew of her accident, and with her walking and talking as if it never happened, Haley figured she didn’t need unnecessary days off. Even though all she could think about was the fact that she should still be laying in a hospital bed.

So how was she okay? It didn’t add up, and Haley was giving herself a migraine trying to figure shit she couldn’t even remember out.

“You good?” Haley blinked herself out of her thoughts, looking up at the girl in front of her. Zoe, the salon’s eyebrow whiz, was looking down at her with eyebrows raised in concern. She was around Haley’s age, a year older at twenty-five, cute and just a bit shorter. “You look spaced.”

Haley forced a small smile, sitting on the salon chair where she worked on customers. She didn’t have an appointment for another forty minutes, so she was just relaxing after cleaning her station after the last customer left. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good.”

Zoe nodded before saying, “I was talking to Olive earlier and we were gonna get drinks later tonight and were wondering if you wanted to join? We haven’t gone out in a bit.”

Pressing her lips together, Haley considered the invitation for a moment, wondering if she should accept. She most definitely had shit going on, too consumed in her thoughts in trying to put two and two together in hopes of figuring out something she could barely remember. How was she supposed to focus on anything when she’d just been in an accident, when she should still be lying in a hospital bed recovering instead of walking and talking as if nothing even happened?

Honestly. She was driving herself insane trying to think of it. Maybe a drink or two would do her some good.

Probably not. But one could hope.

“Sure,” Haley answered, widening her smile a bit as she nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”

*****

“I’m in love with the bartender,” Olive giggled happily, returning to the table with hers and Haley’s drinks as she sat down. “Her margaritas are so fucking good.”

Haley chuckled at her friend, gratefully accepting her drink as her eyes slid over Olive’s shoulder towards the bar. The server in question was a pretty girl, brown skin glowing under the colorful lights of the bar with dark hair and eyes to match. She had served Haley her first drink, all smiles, the grin still on her face as she chatted with her other customers. There were two other bartenders behind the long bar, but just by looking at her, Haley could tell she was probably more sociable than the other two.

Taking a sip of her drink, Haley had to agree—the margarita was delicious. She sipped through the thin black straw, green eyes looking around the bustling bar. The music was loud, there were people dancing and she could feel the occasional eyes taking in the sight of her, but Haley ignored them, completely uninterested.

Truthfully, Haley was trying to focus on having a good time. She’d been only thinking of what’s been happening—which, okay, was only one major event she couldn’t make sense of—but it wasn’t her fault she couldn’t stop thinking about it. It didn’t help that no one knew about her accident, either; she’d been in an Uber that crashed in another car, and Haley didn’t even know who was in the other car. The driver was okay, she knew, but Haley genuinely had no clue as to what happened to whoever was in the other car. She hoped they were okay.

At one point, Haley stood up and went to the bathroom, finishing her second margarita but not entirely feeling its effects quite yet. Washing her hands, Haley looked at herself in the reflection under the dim lights of the small bathroom. The music playing in the bar was only slightly muffled through the heavy door, the smell in the bathroom none too pleasant. But she was too busy gazing at herself.

No scratch, no bruise marred her skin under the makeup she wore. Nothing to commemorate the accident she’d experienced just a few days ago. Her throat worked, tasting the tequila, as she pulled her lips into her mouth, the lipstick she’d worn long gone at this point. Was she over thinking all of this? Driving herself crazy over something meant to be forgotten?

Most of her life didn’t make sense. It was something she had to come to terms with; a shit show after a shit show, barely ever catching a break. This was only another thing added onto a long list of things that just kept happening.

Exiting the bathroom, Haley walked down the small hall before emerging into the active area, about to make her way back to where her friends were sitting when her eyes happened to land on a familiar sight at the end of the bar near the doorway.

Haley froze, eyebrows furrowing together as she tried to look through the crowd of people swarming everywhere, her breath catching in her throat when recognition clicked in her mind. Because even from standing damn near on the other side of the room, she instantly recognized the bright red hair that made him stand out like a sore thumb even under the colorful lights of the bar.

He sat with his back facing the door, dressed in a red floral print shirt that went a bit too well with the color of his hair, sitting with his back facing the door next to a guy with curly blonde hair. But Haley’s green eyes remained on the red haired man, who sat grinning with dimples on his cheeks as he conversed with the blonde, and she felt the pit of her stomach clenching tightly at the sight of him.

He was right there. In the same place as her, after days of her wondering who the hell he was and what he was doing in her hospital room. The possibility of him being a doctor crossed her mind, but for some reason, Haley felt as thought that observation wasn’t accurate. There was something off about him, though whether that was a good or a bad thing, she couldn’t quite tell.

Slowly, she felt her feet moving on their own accord, pushing her past the people dancing and having a good time and moving towards the bar where the guy was. Haley kept her eyes on him, teeth pressed together as she felt the nerves clawing at her the closer she got. The guy was nursing a glass of beer while pointedly looking away when the bartender that had served Haley came over to them and leaned over to press a quick kiss to the blonde guy’s lips, the smile that came over blondie’s face contradicting the somewhat dark demeanor that surrounded him.

Just as quickly as it deterred, Haley’s attention was back on the other guy, throat growing tight as she neared him. She didn’t really have a plan, unsure of what to say, but she couldn’t just return to her seat when the one person she’d been thinking about for the past few days was in the same room as her. Her stomach was churning, like she was going to throw up, but Haley was determined to push through.

She was only a few feet away, about to move around a couple of people standing to get to him when her eyes met his and she saw his expression falter. Something flashed across his face and Haley watched as the guy pushed away from the bar, standing to his feet as he picked up his jacket from the back of the chair and swiftly turned away, walking towards the door. Haley blinked, a confused frown furrowing at her eyebrows before she quickened her pace, knowing that it probably wasn’t the best of ideas to follow a stranger outside of a bar but not entirely caring.

Her phone was in her hand, her purse on the couch with her friends, but that was the least of her worries right now. Honestly—what more did she have to lose?

Nothing, if she was being completely honest.

The slap of the wind on her skin was a harsh reminder of how cold it was outside, the short sleeves of her crop top not at all helping, her jacket still inside. But Haley’s eyes immediately found the retreating back of the familiar stranger, his red hair easily recognizable even under the dim lights of the street lamps as he walked away from the bar.

Ignoring the sounds of the few people lingering outside of the bar smoking, Haley followed after him, the three inch heels of her boots clicking against the pavement. It was a terrible idea, following some guy during the night, but she genuinely couldn’t help herself. How was she supposed to sit idly by when a guy who’d reassured her she would be okay while she was lying in a hospital bed—who most definitely was not—a doctor, was sitting right there?

Even after she’d woken up, the doctors and nurses that had supposedly treated her all said the same exact thing: you were lucky. They all said it with smiles on their faces that seemed almost mechanic, the words slipping out of their mouths like they’d practiced it a dozen times over. Nothing about their deliverance was normal, and when she’d seen the state of the Uber driver, Haley knew something was off. No one would tell her anything, discharging her after saying there was no reason for her to stay. It was so fucking confusing and she had to get to the bottom of it.

And right now, the red haired guy was her only lead.

Her heart jumped when he swiftly turned left, walking right into a suspicious alley that no girl would ever voluntarily walk into. Haley slowed her pace until she stopped just a few feet away, swallowing the nervous lump that had formed in her throat, stomach clenching queasily as she wondered if this was worth it. There was a very good chance he knew she was following her and had purposefully turned to see if she’d go through with it. There was the potential of Haley getting into some serious trouble and harm if she was dumb enough to follow him.

But maybe she was dumb. Because something about him didn’t entirely scream dangerous.

Then again, Ted Bundy had been charming enough to get the guards down of women he had killed.

Haley let out a deep breath. Nothing to lose, she’d reminded herself. It’s not like she would be missed, anyway.

She wasn’t sure if she could feel herself slightly trembling because of the cold temperature or because she was knowingly walking into a potentially dangerous situation. Possibly both. But as she turned to the dark alley, standing by the entrance, Haley blinked in confusion, green eyes flickering around.

There wasn’t much light, of course, but there also wasn’t anyone in there.

“What. . .” Her quiet voice trailed off breathily, the bewilderment thick in her tone as she absently took a few steps forward, obstructing herself from the view of anyone on the sidewalks as she fully entered the alley. It was a dead end on the other side, so it’s not like the guy could’ve gone out the other way, and it only served to further confuse Haley as she looked around, as if there was some place for him to hide.

But there was literally nowhere to go.

The buildings they stood between were tall and without fire escapes to climb onto. No dumpster to hide behind. What the fuck? He couldn’t have just disappeared.

Haley’s lips parted as she continued looking around, as if she’d find him blending in with the dark walls or something, puzzlement running thick in her veins and deepening the frown on her eyebrows as she ran her fingers through her wavy hair. Where the fu—

“Are you looking for me?”

Her heart dropped to the pit of her stomach, body jerking forward and twisting around with a startled yell of, “Oh, my God!”

He stood in front of her, hands behind his back and a somewhat amused smile curling at his lips. How the fuck was he behind her? Why was he smiling like that? He offered a subtle shrug of his shoulders. “Not quite.” What? He narrowed his eyes curiously. “Why are you following me?”

Haley gaped at him, breathing somewhat heavily as she wished for her stunned surprise to wash off quickly. Though, the fact that he was standing in front of her, his six foot tall frame blocking the only way in and out of the alley, was making it difficult for her racing heart to calm down. He was standing just a few feet in front of her, the man Haley had been wondering about for days, and the sight of him mixed with how fucking cold it was only served to bring forth the goosebumps on her skin and the shivers to creep down her spine.

“You. . .” She trailed off, eyebrows twitching into a frown as she pulled the words together. “You were there. At the hospital. I remember you.”

He lifted his chin slightly, the dark of the night unable to hide the sharpness of his jaw as he gazed at her. He stood expressionless, but he didn’t appear unkind, strangely enough. Didn’t at all give Haley the vibe that she was in imminent danger like she would’ve felt if it was some other guy blocking her in an alley. Maybe she was going crazy if she didn’t feel like he was some kind of threat.

“I was,” he surprised her by confirming, his tone factual and light. She saw his eyes flicker over her, though Haley didn’t feel any creepy motive behind it. Like he was just looking at her to check on her instead of checking her out. “Good to see that you’re okay.”

Haley swallowed. “I don’t know how,” she responded, catching the way her words made him frown slightly. “It was a bad accident. I should either be dead or have serious injuries. But here I am.”

His frown smoothed out, taking a breath and giving a single nod, hands still behind his back as he echoed, “Here you are.”

Her throat worked. Every time she breathed she’d smell something putrid in the alley. There was probably a dead rat or something laying in the darkness, and yet all of her attention was on the mysterious man in front of her. “How?” Haley demanded, her voice not as strong as she would have liked, yet still thick with curiosity. She shook her head, silently pleading to understand. “How the hell did I walk away without a scratch when the driver is on crutches?”

“He’s not on crutches. Not anymore.” He was only serving to confuse Haley all the more, blinking at him with eyes widened in incredulous disbelief. He moved, walking towards her, and Haley felt her body tense as he walked around her, her body turning as he did so to keep her eyes on him. His back was towards her as he faced the wall at the end of the alley, Haley watching him skeptically. “I healed him, just like I healed you.”

What? “Healed?” she repeated with a shake of her head, her forehead beginning to actually strain from how hard she was frowning. “What do you mean, healed? Who are you?”

“I’m Ashton,” he finally introduced, giving himself a name. Then his lips curled into a small, almost friendly smile. It was unexpected, though not as much as his next few words were. “I’m an angel of the Lord.”

Despite the head spinning confusion and curiosity that had been clawing at Haley for days, this time, she wanted to laugh. She wanted to laugh until tears were streaming down her face and her lungs were aching for air, because that made no sense.

Haley gaped at him with narrowed eyes, lips that were parting turning upwards in a disbelieving smile while Ashton just looked at her. Was he playing some kind of joke on her? He didn’t seriously expect her to believe that, did he?

Especially because she didn’t believe. She grew up in a devout Catholic household and attending Catholic school, going to church every Sunday, the whole deal. But the more her parents tried to force religion down her throat, the more Haley wanted to spit it right back out. And when tragedy struck her family, taking away her seventeen year old brother four years ago, it had become easy for Haley to break away from religion and her family.

How could she worship a god who took away her brother so soon? Her parents hated that she would ever question their god, so she left. And they let her.

A god that took away her brother before his time wasn’t a god Haley wanted to worship.

And Ashton declaring he was some kind of angel seemed like a ridiculous joke.

Haley gave a shake of her head, scoffing dismissively through her nose as she denied, “There’s no such thi—”

She was unable to finish her statement, the words dying in her throat as a bright light practically blinded her.

Taking a step back, Haley brought her hand to shield her eyes, squinting through as she watched the scene in front of her, stomach dropping and heart beginning to race. Ashton was glowing; a bright white light as fierce as the sun, his pupils brightening into an icy blue. And as he did so, Haley caught sight of the wall behind him, caught sight of the shadowed wings protruding from Ashton’s back that spread along the brick walls, flinching slightly as a piercing ring cut through her ears, watching as the giant feathered wings spread like a shadow on the walls.

The ground crunched under Haley’s shoes as she took a few more steps away, her heart racing and eyes widening despite the burning brightness. She stared, stunned and terrified, as the ringing began to die down and the wings slowly began disappearing. There had been a warmth that spread upon the arrival of the light that blinded her, no longer feeling the cold air bite at her skin as she stared at the man—at the thing—in front of her. For a moment, Haley refused to accept what the hell she just witnessed.

She let herself think that it may have just been some kind of fancy special effects kind of think. That there was no way what she saw was real. But there was a tight knot forming in her stomach derived from dread and disbelief, telling her that it was no trick of the eye or something. That the person in front of him wasn’t, in fact, human. And Haley had no fucking clue as to what she should do with that information.

There was a numbing realization that was settling upon her as she gaped at Ashton, who looked back evenly, patiently. A realization that everything her parents tried to force on her had some truth behind that; that there was a god and his angels and if god was real then so was the devil. It was with a heaviness in her chest did Haley realize that there was so much more in existence than she could’ve ever imagined or thought, and the acknowledgement of that had her breath catching in her throat and head hurting from so much information being drilled into her out of nowhere.

Her lack of belief was slapping her in the face, and Haley was sure the sting would never lessen.

A flicker of concern washed over Ashton’s expression as he looked at her, the ground crunching under his boot as he took a step forward. “Are you okay?”

The sound of him making that step and his voice had Haley snapping back into reality, inhaling a sharp breath as she also took a step backwards, creating more distance between them. “Don’t come any closer,” she sounded, her steady and sharp voice surprising both of them. Ashton froze, doing as he was told. He didn’t want to scare her more than she already seemed to be. But it was unsettling, the way she was looking at him. As if he was some kind of monster. Haley held an arm out, as if it would help in keeping the distance between them, as she warned, “Stay away from me. Just st-stay away.”

Ashton’s expression formed into one of taken aback confusion, surprised at her words and how she was cautiously moving away from him. Her green eyes were wide under drawn together eyebrows, laser focused on him, as if she was expecting him to make some kind of sudden move. But Ashton remained put, frankly frozen slightly in the way she was looking at him.

And when she backed all the way away from him and towards the sidewalk, Haley disappeared around the corner, creating as much distance between her and Ashton as possible. And he stood, staring with a frown on his face and lips pursed, unaware of what in God’s name just happened.

*****

“Why’re you interested in her?” Michael questioned, glancing at Ashton over his shoulder before proceeding to pull out the drawer from the file cabinet. His fingers danced over the hundreds of files kept inside, looking the labels as he tried to find the one needed. “Thought she told you to stay away?”

Ashton pursed his lips, not too appreciative of the reminder. He remembered perfectly, Haley telling him to keep his distance, basically running away from him. There was no reason for Ashton to not to listen to her, no reason why he shouldn’t leave her alone. But there was something about her, something sad, that made Ashton curious. And so here he was, in the white walls of Heaven as Michael dug through the files of all the Haley Rochesters that lived in the world, before finally pulling out the one they were looking for.

Heaven and Hell ran like a business; with the former including files of all of those whose souls already resided there or just simply hadn’t died yet, while Hell got those who were already there or had made a deal and sold their soul. It kept everything in order, no matter how grim it may be to think of these humans’ deaths as some kind of business transaction. But that’s just how things worked.

Michael walked over, holding out the file, and right when Ashton went to grab it, the green eyed angel pulled it out of his reach at the last second and narrowed his eyes. “You’re not gonna use this information to stalk her, are you?”

Ashton blinked. “No. . ?” he responded, though it came out as more of an unsure question.

Rolling his eyes, Michael let out a defeated sigh and handed over the file with a shake of his head. “I’m going to just pretend you sounded more convincing than that.”

Shooting a quick smile at Michael, Ashton opened the file and looked through it, filled with information about Haley; her birth, her family, big events in her life, everything. Ashton didn’t have to read too far to catch a part that explained a tragedy that struck her family, lips pressing together and throat tightening when he read about her brother. Diagnosed with cancer at fifteen and passing away at seventeen. From what Ashton could tell through only the words written, Haley had been close with her brother, Niel, and the loss had been understandably devastating, even if they’d seen it coming.

Now, she didn’t talk to her parents. She didn’t believe.

Ashton frowned slightly, gaze averting from the file and staring at the white floor absently, a wave of realization washing over him. This wasn’t something he hadn’t seen before; many people lost their faith after a loss like the one Haley experienced. Add on the fact that her parents were strictly religious and trying to force religion on her was just a recipe to push Haley away. God created free will for a reason; just because Haley didn’t believe, didn’t make her a bad person. It didn’t condemn her to hell.

He understood, then, why she’d been so freaked out. Of course, anyone finding out angels existed would react the way she did; but Haley had lost faith, didn’t want to worship a god she blamed for the death of her brother. It was all too much for her, Ashton knew. He understood. And he feared for her state of mind, wondering if she was okay, after this revelation. Wondered if he’d made a mistake in telling her and considered going back and erasing her memory about the whole ordeal.

He pushed away that thought as soon as it scurried through his head. Ashton wasn’t privy to erasing people’s memories just for the fun of it; honestly, he shouldn’t have messed with the minds of the doctors and nurses that had been treating Haley at the hospital. But her injuries had been a bit severe and he’d healed them with his hand on her forehead—they would’ve definitely asked questions. He was just covering it up. But making Haley forget of his existence was something that didn’t settle well with him, selfishly. Ashton didn’t want her to not know of him, even if she’d told him to stay away.

He should stay away. But he couldn’t bring himself to, and that unnerved the angel.

And it seemed like his Lord was playing some kind of trick on him, because when Ashton returned to earth for his usual patrol later that night, his phone began ringing, eyebrows raising at Tameera’s name lighting up his screen. “What’s up?”

The music was loud on Tameera’s end, meaning that she was at work at the bar as her voice shouted over it, “The girl you were talking about—she’s here. And she’s completely wasted.”

A brief stinge of worry prickled through Ashton, eyebrows furrowing. He was at a park somewhere in Australia, but distance was never an issue. It was damp, the smell of rain one that he enjoyed, as he stood on the pathway people used to jog on. Ashton stepped to the side as a woman jogged past him, registering Tameera’s words. She had to be talking about Haley; after that night in the alley a few days ago, he’d gone back to where Tameera and Luke had been inside, letting them know of Haley. Tameera had been surprised to learn that Haley had been in the other car that crashed into hers, muttering something about it being a small world and that Tameera’s next drink would be on the house.

“I—Why’re you calling me?” he questioned cautiously with a furrow between his eyebrows. Ashton could feel some drops of water on the bridge of his nose, wondering if it was about to rain, only to realize when he glanced up that he was standing under a tree with dripping leaves.

His phone crackled as Tameera let out a breath, but the angel could pick up the hint of amusement in her voice even over the sound of the deafening music. “Because she keeps ranting about a red haired angel whose wings she wants to tear right off his back.”

Ashton blinked, lips parting in surprise as he stared at the expanse of the park in front of him, not entirely expecting that. He knew it wasn’t physically possible, but Ashton still felt a cringe curl at his muscles at Tameera’s—Haley’s—words, back twitching at the mere thought of his wings being ripped off. An angel’s wings being taken from them was one of the worst things that could happen to them, next to having their grace being taken. Neither of which Ashton ever wanted to experience.

He took a breath, squinting up at the clearing sky. Ashton knew that no one at the bar would actually believe whatever Haley was saying, either deeming her to be another drunk girl at the bar or being too drunk themselves to take her words seriously. But guilt was gnawing at Ashton’s chest and head, unable to stop himself from feeling and thinking that it was his fault Haley had gotten herself drunk enough to start raving about angels. Or, well, him specifically.

Glancing around, Ashton made sure no one could see him, picturing the alley he’d revealed his secret to Haley in before appearing there in the next moment. “I’ll be inside in a minute,” Ashton told Tameera before pocketing his phone, walking down the sidewalk lit up by the street lamps, the sky long having been dark as it was almost midnight.

Ashton entered the bar, the bouncer already knowing to let him inside, as he walked towards long bar. The colors were flashing as always and the music would’ve been deafening if he was human, but hardly had any effect on Ashton. He walked through the crowd of people, fluidly moving past them as his hazel eyes looked for the woman he’d come in here for. As he went, his eyes landed on Tameera working behind the bar, who noticed him easily. She nodded towards the opposite end of the bar, and once Ashton followed her gaze, he pursed her lips.

There she was, sitting on a stool and hunched over the bar, sipping on a drink as she talked to the few people around her. They were listening in drunk attentiveness, eyes glazed over as they nursed their own drinks, and Ashton knew he didn’t have to truly worry about anyone taking Haley seriously. Still, as he neared her, he could just hear in her voice that she’d had too much to drink.

“. . . I mean, I’m an atheist, for shit’s sake. And then all of a sudden this dude with 2010 Ariana Grande type red hair is showing off his fucking wings and telling me he’s an angel?” Haley was in the middle of ranting, left hand holding her glass while her right waved about with her words, snorting drunkenly. “I’m pretty sure I’ve had, like, hundred mental breakdowns this past week and it’s all because of him!”

Ashton took a breath at that, raising his eyebrows as he neared Haley. She didn’t stop there, continuing about how she stopped believing in God a long time ago and that the presence of a literal angel wouldn’t change any of her beliefs. To anyone else, these were just mindless ramblings of a drunken woman. But to Ashton—and Tameera, who was listening in every now and then—the seriousness behind her words could be picked up. Haley was basically shown that what she believed in was not true; that there was, in fact, God and his angels that existed in the universe and now she was beside herself because she was privy to that knowledge. Once again, Ashton felt guilty for telling her the truth, wondering if she’d be better off without it.

“Haley,” he spoke up after clearing his throat, coming up to stand beside her.

She looked up at the mention of her name, green eyes taking in the sight of the man next to her before they widened and a thrilled laugh escaped her. Grabbing at his arm with her right hand, Haley gave it a shake before gesturing towards him with her other. “See!” she exclaimed, looking at the group of people she’d been talking to, who were looking at Ashton through glazed eyes and tipsy smiles. “I told you! This man right here isn’t actually a man! He’s—He’s a fucking angel!”

Ashton’s lips pressed together and tilted upwards in a small, uncomfortable smile, but the group of people didn’t even react, which was fine with him. They were clearly too inebriated to find any truthfulness behind Haley’s words, and he looked down at her. “I think you’ve had enough to drink,” he remarked quietly, eyeing her emptying glass distastefully.

Haley scoffed, pushing away from him and swinging her stool around to face the bar once more. “Did God die and make you God to tell me what to do?” she snipped, hand raising to wave at him dismissively. “Go to hell.” Ashton watched as her shoulders squared before flashing him a drunken yet sarcastic smile. “Or heaven. Just go away.”

Ashton let out a deep breath, shoulders dropping as he tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling in exasperation. Now that he was here, Ashton couldn’t just leave, not without making sure Haley got home safe. And from what he could tell, she was here alone, which made Ashton feel responsible for her being here in the first place. She was drinking because of him, drowning herself in alcohol after he opened her eyes to a world that she never would’ve thought existed—a world whose existence Haley had denounced long ago because of what it had done to her, by taking her brother. And he didn’t fault her for that. Not in the slightest.

Straightening his head, Ashton’s eyes met Tameera’s, who raised her eyebrows at him and Ashton let out a sigh before walking towards her, leaving Haley to her own devices. Tameera braced herself on the bar, looking at Ashton expectantly as he leaned forward on it with his arms. “She doesn’t want to talk to me.”

Tameera glanced Haley’s way, who was sipping at her rum and Coke. “Want me to cut her off?”

Ashton bowed his head to run his fingers through the red strands, nails scratching at the back of his head as he muttered, “Honestly, I’m thinking of just putting her to sleep and taking her back to her place.”

Blinking, Tameera leaned away as she looked at Ashton with raised eyebrows and a stunned expression. “Do you realize how creepy and predatory that sounds?” she retorted with a shake of her head.

He pressed his lips together, knowing his words were the best chosen to be strung together, though he couldn’t help but shoot Tameera an affronted look. “I would put her to bed and leave. You know that, Tameera,” Ashton rigidly responded, not appreciating the vile insinuation of him doing anything but.

She scoffed, jerking her head to move back a long lock of dark hair. “Just saying,” she responded lightly. With a tilt of her head, she asked, “Why are you interested in her, anyway?”

Ashton narrowed his eyes at the woman in front of him, her words the same ones Michael had uttered just earlier that day. “Why does everyone keep asking me that?” he frowned with a shake of his head. “I told her about me, Tameera, and now she’s drinking her way to the bottom of every bottle. I feel responsible.”

That much was true. But Ashton kept to himself that there was just something about Haley that drew her to him. He didn’t know what, exactly, but it was strong and pulling enough to make him stick around and keep an eye on her. It wasn’t every day that people were finding out about the existence of angels and demons and everything else, and Haley already didn’t seem to be taking it too well. Throw in the fact that she was a non-believer and Ashton didn’t even want to think of the turmoil her head and heart were probably going through. He felt guilty for making her question everything she believed.

There were a handful of seats separating him and Tameera with where Haley sat, the music loud rattling everyone’s bones, yet when the clock above the shelves of alcohol struck twelve, Ashton’s heightened ability to hear allowed him to pick up when Haley raised her glass and said to no one in particular, “This one’s for you, Niel. Happy twenty-first, kid.”

Ashton felt his muscles grow tense at her words, lips parting as he watched Haley down the rest of her drink before putting the glass down and bowing her head, face screwing up slightly as the beverage ran through her. There was an emptiness in Ashton, throat working as he remembered the date, realizing that it was Niel’s birthday. That he would, in fact, be twenty-one years old today if he was still alive and that drink she had taken was definitely in lieu of the first legal drink Niel would be taking.

Ashton had been on earth long enough to know what it felt like to have sympathy, to feel empathy for someone else. And in this moment, he could feel the heart of the body he’d taken over hundreds of years ago break just a little, watching this beautiful woman mourn the loss of her brother for the fourth year in a row. There was a heaviness settling in Ashton’s veins at the knowledge of her mourning Niel for the rest of her life.

Straightening, Ashton tightened his jaw as he watched Haley rest her elbows on the bar and brace her forehead against her hands. Through the colored lights splashing across her body, Ashton saw the way Haley’s face screwed up—and not in the way it did when she drank. He could pick up on the way her pursed lips were trembling, eyes clenched shut and her shoulders shaking as she pressed herself into her hands. Ashton’s throat worked, feeling completely powerless as he watched her cry amongst a group of strangers, wanting to make it better for her. But he couldn’t, that much he knew.

“Oh,” Tameera sounded, the sympathy clear in her voice as she caught sight of Haley. Licking her lips, she said to Ashton, “I’m gonna take her to the bathroom and I’m just—” Tameera paused, rubbing her hands down her jeans as she gazed at the angel in front of her. “Are you going to take her home?”

Ashton hesitated, not entirely sure anymore if that was a good idea. He honestly had no idea what to do. “I don’t—”

Tameera waved him off, already moving to walk around the bar. “We’ll figure it out,” she said quickly before walking away.

Ashton watched as Tameera approached Haley, her approach a lot gentler as she placed a hand on Haley’s shoulder. The redhead sniffled, looking up, and Ashton forced himself to give them their privacy and not listen in as Tameera said something to Haley, who nodded before getting up and letting Tameera guide her to the back of the bar where the bathrooms were.

He stood by the bar as they disappeared into the back, his muscles never relaxing as he waited to do something. Anything, to help Haley any way he could. His fingers tapped impatiently, alternating between rolling his lips into his mouth and chewing them, wondering if Haley was alright. Ashton’s lost people—many of his fellow angels, brothers and sisters he’s worked alongside. It never got easy, losing friends, but Ashton couldn’t imagine the pain Haley must be going through. Humans were fragile; it’s why angels protected them and it’s why they so easily got corrupted by demons.

Get in here—she keeps asking for you. Tameera’s voice ringing through Ashton’s head was louder than the music, a prayer she called for him from the back of the bar. Instantly, Ashton pushed away from the bar and headed further towards the back into the small hallway leading to the bathroom, shamelessly walking into the small two stall women’s bathroom. The weighted door fell shut behind him as his eyes landed on Haley, standing opposite of him as she leaned against the wall, head tilted back only to straighten when Ashton walked in.

Her eyes, red rimmed from either drinking or crying or both, narrowed at the sight of him, pushing herself off the wall and walking past Tameera, pointing an accusatory finger at Ashton as she exclaimed, “This is all your fault! I feel like I’m going fucking crazy and there’s no one to blame but you!”

Tameera stood back, watching with widened worry eyes as she looked at Haley, her hands shooting out when Haley stumbled a bit but caught her balance by gripping the sink. Ashton took a breath, poised in where he stood as he hoped to keep a cool composition against Haley’s glare. “I’m sorry,” he spoke, letting the genuine guilt he felt seep into his voice. “It was never my intention to—”

“To what?” Haley cocked her head to the side, eyes narrowed and daring and just a little bit sad. “To just completely turn my life upside down in a matter of minutes?” She scoffed humorlessly, leaning away from Ashton as the light of the bathroom caused the track of tears on her cheeks to glint against it. She shook her head at Ashton, shrugging half heartedly, “With all your stupid powers, you couldn’t have just erased my memories or something?”

Ashton noticed the way Tameera flinched behind Haley, understandably not liking the reminder of her own memories being wiped, though without her consent, as she hugged herself and looked away. Looking back at Haley, Ashton’s throat worked as he calmly asked, “Would you like me to erase your memories?”

Haley paused, blinking at him as if she hadn’t expected his words, as if she didn’t think he would actually follow through. Her green eyes flickered between his hazel, eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, before she gave a jerking shake of her head. “Fuck, no, don’t you dare.”

Ashton blinked, helplessly confused as he looked at Tameera, who merely widened her eyes and shrugged, unsure of what to do, too. He shook his head at Haley, shoulders dropping as he exasperatedly breathed out, “Then what would you like for me to do? How can I make this better?”

Her jaw worked, her expression tightening once more. “You can’t.” Ashton bit his tongue, catching Tameera’s sympathetic expression as Haley brought her hands up to cover her face, her body slumping as her muffled voice spoke, “I just wanna go home.”

The tension between them was obvious, glorified by Haley’s glares towards the taller angel, who took them in stride. Still, Ashton couldn’t help the words that slipped. “I can take you home.”

Tameera’s eyebrows shot up, silently asking him if that was a good idea as Haley’s hands dropped from her face. Ashton half expected her to outright reject the offer as Haley scoffed. “What, do you have a car or something?”

Ashton twisted his lips to the side before opting to say, “Or something.” He offered her a suggesting shrug. “Free of charge.”

For a brief moment, Haley wanted to tell Ashton to fuck off with his free ride. But she had walked to the bar from work, since it wasn’t too far, and even in her drunken state she wasn’t entirely prepared to get into an Uber. The last time she was in one, she’d been in an accident which lead to some fucking angel healing the damage it had caused. The same angel that was offering her some kind of ride home.

She didn’t have any friends to call. Ubers were out of the question. No way was she walking home. Honestly, did she have another choice?

If she did, she didn’t really consider it.

She surprised all three of them by sighing, “Fine.”

Ashton recovered the quickest, not wanting to give Haley a moment to change her mind as he offered a goodbye nod to a stunned Tameera, before placing his hand respectively on a confused Haley’s shoulder and then, within half a second, they were standing in the middle of a somewhat dark loft with the only light coming from the kitchen.

Haley gasped, stumbling back and away from Ashton as she bumped right into the back of the couch that kept her upright, Ashton’s hand reached out to balance her in case she needed it. But Haley was looking around, as if she was someplace other than her loft, wondering if her drunk had caused her to slip from the grips of reality. Ashton watched as her widened eyes took in her surroundings, lips parted in startled wonder as she gripped the top of the couch.

“What the fuck,” she breathed tightly, her voice sounding a lot louder in the quiet of the loft than it was. Haley looked back at Ashton, half of her face shadowed by the dark of the room, blinking wide eyes at him as she demanded, “How the hell—”

“I can. . . Teleport,” Ashton informed her, pausing as he thought of the appropriate word. Teleport seemed to do, seeing as he quite honestly couldn’t figure out how else to describe it.

Haley stared at him for a moment, blankly, before snorting. “Right. Of course you can.” She pushed herself off the couch then, her body noticeably swaying ever so slightly as she waved him off. “You can teleport yourself out of here now.”

Ashton’s eyebrows furrowed at the way she stumbled, itching to give her a hand but not wanting to overstep more than he already had. He ran a quick hand through his red hair as she turned away, dropping it to the side as he hastily asked, “Are you alright by yourself? You seemed. . . Troubled at the bar.”

“Oh, I did, did I?” Haley mused sardonically, turning around to look at Ashton with a faux confused look, a finger against her lips as she pretend to think over his words. “Why do you think that is, huh? Maybe because I’m still tryna wrap my head around all of this angel bullshit?” Her green eyes flashed, something dark and angry and grieving as Ashton pressed his lips together. Her voice was heavily bitter as she finished, “Or maybe because today’s a reminder that your god decided my brother didn’t get to live anymore. You fucking decide.”

Her strawberry blonde hair flew like a fierce fire as she swiveled around once more, her back to Ashton, but he didn’t miss the way her eyes once again turned glassy. Didn’t miss the crack in her voice that ached something in his chest, stomach feeling like it was filled with lead. He wasn’t going to tell Haley that her brother’s death was inevitable—that the Lord had a plan for every single human being that entered this world, and everything they were given was according to him. Haley was already so distraught, and Ashton didn’t want to add salt to the bleeding wound. It was unfair, Ashton knew, but he didn’t have to tell Haley that.

As she walked away, her body a silhouette, Ashton spoke through a tightened throat, “I’m sorry about Niel.” His words had Haley halting in her steps, her hands clenching into fists. Ashton continued, his words truthful and honest, “It wasn’t fair, what happened to him and to your family. But he’s. . .” he trailed off, feeling a lump in his throat as his Adam’s apple bobbed. “He’s happy, in his heaven. I can promise you that.”

His words were followed by silence, seconds feeling like hours as he desperately waited for Haley to say something. He’d never felt so helpless before in all of the eons he’d been alive, yearning so badly for Haley to turn around and look at him. Ashton knew, logically, that he wasn’t in need of her forgiveness. He hadn’t done anything wrong, it wasn’t him that took away her brother. But there was still a sense of responsibility by association, still feeling the guilt of an inevitable act that he didn’t conduct but could practically feel Haley’s pain of. He knew what it was like to lose family, and while Haley seemed to keep herself together the majority of the time, she was still broken over her loss.

For all her wounds he healed, Ashton knew that one was permanent.

She didn’t look back at him, her voice hollow and tired as she returned, “He would’ve been happier here.”

*****

When Haley turned around to greet her two o’clock appointment, she hadn’t expected for it to be Tameera the bartender. The brunette offered a friendly smile, hands clutching the strap of her cross body bag as she greeted, “Hey, how are you?”

“Hi,” Haley returned, albeit a bit more cautiously, as she gripped the back of the salon chair. “I’m, uh, good. You?”

“I’m great,” Tameera grinned, pulling off her bag and settling on the chair, resting it on her lap as her brown eyes met Haley’s green through the reflection of the mirror. “Haven’t see you come by at the bar in a while.”

A week, it had been, since the last time Haley went to that specific bar where a specific angel had the habit of hanging around. She hadn’t been there since Niel’s birthday, that night weighing heavily on her heart. Ashton’s arrival had been unexpected, not more than her agreeing to let him take her home and her being completely floored when she was standing in the bathroom of the bar one second and then in her living room the next.

Sleep hadn’t come easily to her that night, tears and hiccups preventing her from slumbering as she thought of her little brother who would’ve been twenty-one had he been alive. There was a hole in Haley’s heart that was once occupied by Niel, constantly reminding her of the emptiness she felt every second of the day since he died, leaving her wondering if she’d ever feel whole again. She doubted she would, too lost in her grief. And it wasn’t like she could share it with anyone—she didn’t speak to her parents, not since Niel passed. She lost her brother and they lost both of their children. And Haley wasn’t sure if she wanted to fill the hole she may have left in their lives.

But it was a two way street. They could’ve reached out in the past four years. They didn’t, so neither did she.

She thought of Niel a lot, but nowadays Haley begrudgingly found her mind consisting of thoughts of the red haired angel. She thought of his cautious hazel eyes that she’d seen glow blue and sharp jaw and everything else. There was this air of purity surrounding Ashton, with the potential of being dangerous, which Haley wasn’t too surprised at. He was a celestial being, after all. Not at all human, no matter how much he looked it. She figured his angelic looks were a giveaway that no one could be that perfect.

Part of Haley wanted to argue that he wasn’t perfect—that she hated him. But did she? She hated what he stood for; that he was a personification for all that she didn’t want to believe, that there existed a higher power that could’ve let her keep her brother instead of killing him with cancer in his body. It was cruel to give a fifteen year old boy—to give anyone—cancer. How could Haley possibly believe in a god that did that? She didn’t—it had been easy not to believe.

And then entered Ashton, and everything she wanted to believe was thrown out the window. He was making her question everything, and Haley wasn’t okay with that.

“Been busy,” Haley responded to Tameera’s statement, placing the cover up over her and pressing the velcro together in place. She untucked her long brown hair, the strands soft between her fingers as she tried to keep her expression professional and neutral while looking at Tameera through the reflection. “You want it cut?”

She nodded. “Right to my collarbones.”

Haley’s eyebrows shot up, running her fingers through the hair. That was almost ten inches, give or take. “That’s a big change,” Haley observed, but still turned Tameera’s chair around so her back was to the mirror, adjusting the seat so Tameera was leaning back with her hair draped into the sink.

Tameera’s eyes met hers, glittering against the bright lights of the salon. “Change can be good.”

Haley remained silent as she turned on the faucet, expertly washing Tameera’s long brown locks. Music played through the salon, tuned to one of the local radio stations as Khalid’s voice rang in Haley’s ears. She tried to ignore Tameera’s words, feeling as though there was some underlying meaning in them, the thought confirmed when Haley finished washing and had Tameera sitting upright as she said, “Ashton’s worried about you, you know.”

Throat working, Haley unwrapped Tameera’s hair from the towel before muttering, “He’s got no business being worried about me.”

“He can’t help it,” Tameera responded as Haley combed through her wet hair, keeping her eyes on the stylist through the reflection. “He’s a good guy like that.”

Haley couldn’t help the scoff that escaped her, raising her eyebrows to herself as she continued working on Tameera’s hair. “He’s not a guy. He’s not even human.”

“Which means he’s already better than ninety-nine percent of the human male population,” Tameera returned easily, lips curling into a grin when she noticed Haley’s own twitched upwards, failing to hide the smile her words prompted. Gazing up at the stylist, Tameera was silent for a moment before softly asking, “Do you not want to see him because of what he is? Is it some kind of, like, religious thing. . ?”

Haley’s silent for a moment as she used it to think, absently reaching for the scissors. At first it had been—a religious thing. But the more Haley thought about it, the more she realized that it was just. . . A reality thing. It was the acknowledgment of some kind of higher power truly existing—it just wasn’t fucking settling in her mind. It was unreal and overwhelming. And, Haley supposed, she should be grateful to Ashton. He saved her life, definitely, healing all of those injuries after the accident. She was grateful, she realized. But it all came down to one matter: how could she believe in the definite existence of a God that took her brother from her so soon?

Haley knew that she couldn’t really blame Ashton for her brother’s death. Knew it wasn’t fair. But she was still so angry, so hurt, and he was the closest thing for blame.

When Haley was silent, Tameera sighed as she listened to her hair get snipped. “Ashton saved both of our lives. He’s good. And he cares about you.” Then, she cracked a smile, her eyes watching Haley as she joked, “Trust me—if I can fall in love with the King of Hell, then you can possibly befriend an angel.”

*****

It had been two months, maybe more, since Ashton last saw Haley—or so he assumed; time was a construct Ashton was no longer familiar with after being around for so long. He desperately tried to keep her off his mind, busy with assignments to keep himself occupied, wanting to give her the space he had no reason to invade. But he just couldn’t, and Ashton was had long since started becoming flustered, not understanding why this human woman wouldn’t leave his thoughts. He buried himself in his work, hoping to forget, overwhelmed that he just couldn’t.

It’s not like Ashton slept, so practically every moment since that night he took Haley to her home consisted of his thoughts wandering to her; to her strawberry blonde colored hair and fiery green eyes and the freckles that dotted like constellations on the bridge of her nose. He thought of her, and he could feel his body tense and throat dry and mind grow blank of any thoughts but her. And he didn’t understand it. Never in the centuries he’s been alive did Ashton feel this way. And now these emotions were hitting him hard and fast and he had no idea how to handle them.

“How ’bout you stop complainin’ and do somethin’ about it?” Calum huffed, growing tired of what he thought of as Ashton moping around. His voice was filled with bored annoyance, not unfamiliar, though Ashton had hoped the demon’s involvement with the woman he loves would make him friendlier towards others instead of just his girl. Apparently not. “You know where she lives—just show up and, I dunno, talk to her or some shit.”

Ashton shot Calum a flat look, hand wrapped around his pint of beer. Honestly, Ashton wasn’t sure why he even drank, seeing as alcohol had no affect on him. It was just something to do, he guessed, instead of just sitting in a bar with nothing in front of him. Though in moments like these, Ashton wished he was capable of getting drunk like humans could. “I can’t just pop into her home uninvited,” Ashton retorted, scoffing at Calum’s suggestion. “She’d hate me more than she already does.”

A smirk tugged at Calum’s lips, leaning back on the couch of the bar with his own hand holding his glass of bourbon. “What, angels can’t handle humans they’re meant to protect hating them?” He snorted, amused. “Tragic.”

Ashton bristled, not for the first time wanting to get rid of the demon. They may be friends, but when they were as opposite of the spectrum as Ashton and Calum were, there were times when they needed to keep their distance. “Don’t you ha—”

His sarcastic response was cut off, because suddenly, Haley’s voice was ringing through his head, causing the words to die right on Ashton’s tongue as he froze and stared ahead with startled, widened eyes.

I’m, uh, not sure how this works. I don’t even know if this is working? But, um, if you’re getting this then can we, like, talk? Haley’s hesitant, awkward voice echoed through Ashton’s head, just like anyone else’s would if they were praying to him. He was deaf to everything and everyone around him, only focusing on her familiar voice he hadn’t realized he’d been so desperate to hear. Fuck, this is weird. Okay, whatever. I’m just gonna assume if you don’t show up that this didn’t work. Tameera said it would but, I don’t know, maybe it won’t for me because I don’t. . . Believe? I don’t know. This shit is weird. Okay. Bye, I guess?

Her voice cut off, signaling the end of her prayer, and the breath was stilled in Ashton’s lungs as he remained frozen in his seat. Answering people’s prayers was not at all new to him, of course, but the last thing Ashton had expected was to hear Haley’s voice. Was to hear her asking him if they could talk after two months of silence after she’d made it clear that she didn’t want anything to do with him.

He moved absently, numb to everything around him as he didn’t bother saying goodbye to Calum before stepping outside of the bar. It was only six in the evening, the sun having not yet set, so Ashton walked to find a secluded corner before pinpointing Haley’s location.

Half a second later, he was standing in the middle of a cemetery.

Ashton looked around for a moment, eyebrows twitching together in confusion, before he caught sight of a familiar head of strawberry blonde hair sitting on the ground a little towards the right. Throat working, Ashton silently made his way towards Haley, the ground soft under his boots as he slowly approached her from behind, hazel eyes reading the tombstone she was sitting in front of, already knowing who it belonged to.

Niel Theodore Rochester.

Ashton stood behind Haley’s seated figure, a little to her left, with his hands buried in the pockets of his dark coat. It was eerily silent, the only sounds coming from the dry leaves being thrown around to the light breeze dancing through the air, along with cars honking in the distance. Those were the only sounds, until Haley spoke up.

“I stopped believing in God after Niel died because I. . . I never understood how He could just take a seventeen year old kid who deserved more than the life he had.” Her voice was quiet though she spoke as if she was recalling memories. She sat with her legs folded beneath her, hands on her lap and a small, fresh bouquet of orchids and lilies resting against the headstone. Ashton kept his gaze on it, jaw tight. “My parents always said God did everything for a reason and every time they said that after Niel’s death I just—I got so angry. Because there can never be a reason justifiable enough for it, and maybe they told themselves that to have some sort of comfort but it never worked for me.”

Haley sighed, giving a shake of her head, still not looking at Ashton who listened quietly. “Being angry got so tiring,” she continued, the last word coming out as a breathless and defeated laugh. “It was easier not believing in anything than being pissed off all the time. And that worked for a few years. Until I met you.”

Ashton’s gaze flickered as soon as Haley lifted her head, her green eyes meeting his hazel ones, and for the first time, Ashton didn’t see the usual resentment she would look at him with.

The angel inhaled a quiet breath, watching as Haley stood to her feet, the leaves and twigs crunching under her combat boots. She faced him, the top of her head reaching his chin, tilting her head slightly so her eyes could meet his. She was bare of any makeup, the lightest freckles splattered across her nose and pink lips looking soft. But Ashton remained focused on her words, not her undeniably gorgeous face. Haley was finally talking to him, and he was going to listen to every word she uttered.

But what she said, about her beliefs unwillingly being changed because she met him, twisted at his stomach. He hated that he was making things hard for her—that was never Ashton’s intention.

“You made me question what I thought I believed and it’s been driving me crazy. And I was a bitch to you because of it.”

Ashton’s lips parted, both startled at her words and because he didn’t want Haley calling herself such names. “I turned your world upside down,” he protested gently. “And I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be.” Haley gave a shake of her head, lips pursing while she also offered the briefest of close-mouthed smiles. She shoved her hands in the pockets of her bomber jacket, offering a shrug. “I spent the past couple of months thinking about everything and it’s. . . It’s definitely something to still get used to, but being angry with you isn’t going to make things any different. Niel’s still gone and. . . And you said he’s happy? In heaven, right?” she questioned, her tone taking a softer curious turn, the hesitation still evident in her voice as if she was hoping his answer would be the same.

Ashton offered a small, honest smile with a nod of his head. “He is. He’s at peace.”

Haley knew that when Ashton told her that the last time, she’d bitterly responded that Niel would’ve been happier alive. But the more she thought about it, the more she figured that her words wouldn’t be true. Because when Niel was alive, he was in pain. He was suffering, and it destroyed Haley every time when she saw him like that. At least now she knew, for certain, that her brother was okay. He was happy. He wasn’t hurting.

And with Ashton providing her knowledge like that, which almost everyone wasn’t privy to, how could Haley possibly hate him?

Maybe her emotions were getting the best of her. Maybe the acceptance and ease she felt at the fact that her brother was living it up in heaven spurred her actions. But Haley blinked back the burning sensation she suddenly felt in her eyes and didn’t think twice of her movements, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around Ashton’s waist as she pulled him into a hug.

He froze as he felt her body press against his, eyes widening in surprise as he glanced down at the top of Haley’s head. The way he felt his body melt into hers almost instantly was unnerving, his skin heating up as it would when he healed himself or someone else, hands still in the pockets of his coat as he was slow to register what was happening.

But then a breeze blew by and the floral and fruity scent Haley was engulfed in tickled Ashton’s nose and he was pulling his hands out, before proceeding to wrap his arms around her shorter frame. He was hesitant, movements slow as he brought his arms to her shoulders, pulling her close, not caring that she felt and heard his deep, relieving inhale of a breath as he closed his eyes. It wasn’t lost on Ashton, how nice and utterly perfect it felt to hold Haley like this, how this innocent embrace had a dizzying effect on him that he’d never experienced before. It also wasn’t lost on him that from this moment on, their relationship was finally taking a turn for the better, and he could only pray that things would be looking up from now.

Wanting to be a part of Haley’s life after he saved it wasn’t a part of Ashton’s plan—not that he really had one. But he hadn’t been able to walk away from her, even though he should’ve when she’d blatantly expressed it.

Thank God she changed her mind. Thank God, for once, he didn’t listen.

*****

The small seed of fear that had planted itself in the pit of Haley’s stomach had bloomed into a full grown leafless tree with sharp branches stabbing her from the inside. She hadn’t expected this kind of reaction from herself, but she couldn’t help it, not when Ashton was basically missing. He hadn’t popped in like he usually would over the past few months that he and Haley had actually become friends, starting after their tentative conciliation at the cemetery three months ago. His phone went unanswered, as did Haley’s prayers begging for him to check in.

At first she told herself that he was busy; he was an angel with assignments to be completed, after all. A soldier of heaven and all that. It had been nothing to worry about. But then a few days went by without so much as a text from Ashton, which was unusual in itself, and then when Haley met up with Tameera, Luke, Michael, Calum, and Calum’s girlfriend Mia—because apparently demons had girlfriends—they all informed one another that no one had heard from Ashton in a while and that’s when Haley’s worry had grown into panic.

It wasn’t like Ashton to not check in if he was on an assignment, especially to Michael, a fellow angel. Angel radio, which Haley had learned was what the angels called their way of communicating with each other, had been silent on Ashton’s end, which meant he was either purposefully not contacting anyone, or was unable to do so. Neither were comforting options, and as each day went by without a word from him, the more panicked she felt.

They’d become friends, over the course of the past few months, after Haley had accepted him and his entire existence and had to change her view on things. It was because of Ashton that Haley contacted her parents again, just a month ago, mending their broken relationship since Niel’s death. It’s what her brother would’ve wanted, Haley would remind herself, and Ashton would give her the gentle push to make things right, though careful never to overstep the boundary.

They were friends, but Haley could tell as she got to know Ashton that he would try to maintain some kind of distance with her. As if he didn’t want to push his luck, like he would say the wrong thing and she would go back to hating them. She desperately wanted to tell him that wasn’t the case. That even though her view of the world and her beliefs were completely changed, it didn’t mean it was a bad thing. The sudden confirmation of the existence of God, angels, demons, the devil, heaven, and hell didn’t make her feel scared or anything, though maybe it should. Instead, it gave her some kind of comfort, because there was some kind of balance in the world that existed. That maybe everything did happen for a reason.

But if Ashton didn’t show up soon, Haley was afraid her world was about to be skewed again.

She wanted to laugh. She’d gone from not wanting to be anywhere near him to desperately wishing for him to be right next to her.

The ding of her phone sounded shrill to Haley’s ears, pulling her out of her thoughts as she jumped in startlement. Her heart had been hammering, like it had been nonstop for the past few days, only to stop in her chest when she read Tameera’s text.

They found him. He’ll be on his way to you soon.

A gasp of relief escaped Haley as she read the words, shoulders dropping and eyes closing as she tilted her head back in solace. He was okay. He would be coming to her. Questions upon questions began running through Haley’s mind, wondering what the hell had happened and where he was and why he didn’t contact her, anger and worry and terror running through her veins more intensely now that she knew he was okay than it had been this entire week.

Haley never thought Ashton’s absence would have such an effect on her, but as each day had gone by without a word for him, she felt her heart sink lower and lower in her chest. He’d become someone she considered a good friend, a close friend—a friend that she found herself feeling more for, but she kept that to herself. Had kept it to herself for a while now.

But with him being gone and Haley having no idea where he was or if he was okay, she’d quickly realized that there was no way she’d be able to push those feelings away. Feelings she’d struggled with, because she’d gone from hating, to accepting, to befriending, and then to feeling something so much deeper for him all in a span of half a year that it was dizzying.

Except Ashton was wonderful. He was kind and made Haley smile more than she thought he was capable of, and could go from being gentle to having an air of authority around him in a blink of an eye. He was an angel, in every sense of the word. Fuck. She’d been so stubborn before, but after getting to know him, how could Haley not fall for him?

“Heard you were asking for me.”

A gasp got caught in Haley’s throat as she immediately turned on her heel, lips parting and eyes widening at the man standing in the middle of her loft. Ashton stood tall, perfectly woundless with not a scratch on his beautiful features, but the same couldn’t be said for his clothes; the yellow button down was wrinkled and torn up, splattered with blood and showing his unmarked skin through the rips, darker red spots on his grey pants that told Haley the clothing hadn’t been spared the spray, either. His red hair, usually either gelled back or in its natural curls, was unruly atop his head. He looked like he’d just healed himself up quickly and got here, not bothering to fix his clothes.

There were no scratches or bruises on Ashton’s skin, but it was obvious something had happened to him, and the thought of that twisted Haley’s stomach painfully.

“What happened to you?” she breathed out, phone dropping on the couch as she passed it, making her way towards him. The worry was etched on her face as her green eyes took him in, as if she was committing him to memory. She stopped in front of him, hands itching to reach for him though she kept them at her sides.

Ashton offered her a smile, sweet and dimpled, and Haley knew he was only trying to calm her down from the visible concern she was displaying. “Couple of demons who’ve defected from hell decided to pick a fight while I was on assignment,” he informed her casually, as if he didn’t want her to worry more than she already was. “I took care of a few of them but Luke’s going to handle the others. But I’m fine, Haley.” He widened his smile, dimples deepening and hazel eyes glinting under the lights of her loft. “It would take more than just a couple of demons to put me out.”

“That’s not the point,” Haley responded, her voice thick due to the lump that had formed in her throat and had yet to disappear. Even with Ashton standing in front of her, the fear was still present in her veins. It was similar to the kind of fear she’d felt constantly, for two years, when Niel had first been diagnosed with cancer. A fear of not knowing when her last day with her brother would be her last. It was how Haley felt, she realized, with Ashton being missing, unsure if she’d see him again and if the last time she’d seen him had, in fact, been the last time. She shook her head, eyebrows drawing together in a distressed frown. “I didn’t know if you were okay and that just—you weren’t—” She cut herself off, squeezing her eyes shut and willing for her pounding heart to calm down as she finally breathed out, “I was scared that you were gone.”

Her words wiped the smile off of Ashton’s face, expression falling into one of realization as Haley opened her glassy green eyes to peer up at him. A heaviness settled in Ashton’s chest as he realized just how much his absence had worried Haley, how genuinely frightened she looked at the thought of him never coming back to her. It was a fear he knew she’d experienced before, with her brother, and Ashton had no intention of making her suffer through something like that again. Loss wasn’t something anyone was, or should be, used to, and Ashton was more than ready and willing to do his part in making sure Haley didn’t have to feel something as heartbreaking as that again.

“Haley,” Ashton quietly spoke, throat working as his large hands found her cheeks, thumbs brushing along her cheekbones gently. Part of him had been afraid that she’d pull away from his touch, that he was crossing a line, but she seemed to relax in his touch and that was enough to ease Ashton. He ducked his head a bit, feeling some of his curls brush across his forehead, but his focus was the woman in front of him. “I have no intention of ever leaving you. I’m sorry I worried you, but trust me when I say that I was fighting like hell to come back to you.”

He saw the tension in her neck as her eyes widened ever so slightly, gaze briefly flickering to his lips before meeting his eyes once more, making Ashton’s breath stall for a second. A quiet had settled upon them, the two of them in a bubble of their own with no one else from earth or heaven or hell intruding. “Really?”

His lips tugged upwards into a smile, finding comfort in the newfound closeness they were in. “Of course,” Ashton answered truthfully, a soft chuckle escaping him. “I heard your prayers, while I was gone. Answering them was all I could think about.”

Haley blinked a couple of times at his words, taking in a soft breath at the honesty in them. He may have been tortured by a handful of demons, nothing he couldn’t handle, but every time Haley’s desperate, worried voice rang in his ears, it strengthened Ashton’s resolve to fight and get back to her. It was powerful, her call to him, stronger than any prayer he’s ever heard before, wanting nothing more to answer her. It took him a while, but he did.

For Haley, he was willing to fight a whole army of demons.

Ashton felt her hands wrap around his wrists, her lips curling into a gentle smile, one he would never tire of seeing because, God, it was such a beautiful change from the scowls she’d shower him with. Her voice was soft, earnest, and full of delight that had Ashton’s head spinning. “Thank you for coming back to me.”

And then she was leaning up on her toes and Ashton was never one to ignore a call, ducking his head to meet her lips just as eagerly. He felt something in his chest lighten, felt a warmth spread through him that was stronger and exciting and relieving than anything else he’d felt before as Haley’s arms wrapped around his waist to be as close to him as possible as the softness of her lips had Ashton melting into her. And as he kissed her, pouring every emotion he felt since the moment he met Haley into her, sensing the way her heart picked up its speed excitedly at the first touch of their lips, Ashton realized that this is what it must feel like to have someone answer his prayers.

tags: @crownedbyluke @irwinkitten @astroashtonio @softforcal @glitterprincelu @valentinelrh @hotmessmichael @meetashthere @hereforlukescruff @c-sainthood @captain-what-is-going-on @angelbbycal @sugarcoated-pain @babygirlcashton @soulmatecashton @wrappedaroundcal @fucking5sos @ohhmuke @calumculture @cxddlyash @inlovehoodx @akacalciumhood @paqueretteash @5secondssofssummer @calumh-excess @flannelpunkcalum @poppedpins @bloodlinecal @sublimehood @empathycth @calntynes @calumsmermaid @rosecolouredash @xhaileyreneex @calistheloml @cal-pal-cuddles @hearts-to-the-sky @babyloncalm @5sos-stan4lyfe @old-zeppelin-shirt @slimthicccal @all-i-want-is2b-loved-by-you @asht0ns-world @cliffordcntrl @grittyisathot @biwriting @singt0mecalum @cathartichaoss @ashtonandcalslefthand @rosecoloredash

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monsters-demons-and-ai-oh-my · 5 years

Text

What We Lost and What We Have

Chapter 3: Shitty coffee, Schrodinger's door, and the joys of the American medical system

TW: description of seizure in this chapter. And finally some Cas POV!

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AU somewhat inspired by Episode 2x20 - What Is and What Should Never Be, and the season 14 storyline concerning Jack’s illness.

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AO3 Link

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Chapter 3: Shitty coffee, Schrodinger's door, and the joys of the American medical system

Kelly almost never got sick when she and Cas were kids, maybe the occasional seasonal sniffles but never seriously sick, not even the flu.

It had made her eventual death when Jack was born even more of a shock.

Castiel remembered when he was nine and she was sixteen the rest of their family was down in bed with the flu and she was the one up perfectly healthy checking in on everyone and making them soup.

Jack had always been the same as his mother in that regard, Cas could count on one hand the grand total of sick days Jack had to take off school since kindergarten. He’d never so much as broken a bone up until this.

So why hadn’t he been able to pick up that something was really wrong sooner?

He should never have brought Jack back to Lawrence. When they got the call from Sam the week before Jack was so excited. It had almost been hidden under apprehensive disbelief and the way he’s anxiously couldn’t meet Cas’s eyes but Jack had been holding back an unsure smile.

His siblings wanted to include him in something...

Cas had a bad feeling about it from the start, neither brother had spared more than a passing glance at the boy since John Winchester’s death. People didn’t just drop back into your life after ten years as if they never left, there were always strings attached, always a catch, and he didn’t want to subject Jack to that.

He even had a ready-made excuse, Jack was already grounded for the nonsense he pulled during his last world history test.

But... Jack had been so excited, and these men were his family, part of his past he rarely if ever got to interact with; and it was the anniversary of John death, Jack’s father’s death.

Jack was almost seventeen, who was he to keep him away? What would it do to their relationship if he did?

It had been a mistake.

The cough Jack seemed to be getting over after a week crept back up on him during the eight-hour drive and was only exacerbated by their first night in the hotel. And then they went to the graveyard.

He knew before Dean opened his mouth that they should have stayed home. The panicked look of shock on Sam’s face was enough to tell him they hadn’t really expected them to show up.

Was it just out of courtesy that he’d even called?

And now Jack was hospitalized a good few hundred miles from their home with god knows what.

He wished the look of rejection on Jack’s face was something he’d never seen before, and maybe he hadn’t, at least… never like that, never that terrible.

The ride back to the hotel had been so quiet, only broken by the occasional soft cough. Jack just stared out the window biting his lip like he was trying desperately not to cry. Castiel was afraid to say anything because if he accidentally said the wrong thing and Jack lost the tenuous hold he had over his tears Cas couldn’t comfort him and drive at the same time.

He’d tried to talk to Jack as soon as they pulled into the hotel parking lot but by then the teenager’s eyes had dried up. Jack didn’t reply except to say his head hurt and…

“I just want to sleep,” his voice was so soft and hollow.

Castiel let the subject drop, buying some Advil from the small hotel commissary and leaving Jack to curl up in bed. He didn’t want to push him, not now.

“We should have never come…”

He kept repeating the words in his head over and over, more rapidly now with Jack propped up on his side in a hospital bed, Castiel holding the little pink plastic kidney dish a nurse had given him for Jack to spit the blood he kept coughing up into. A new doctor who’d introduced herself as Hannah listened to his breathing with a stethoscope through the open back of his gown.

It turned out doctors came a lot more readily when you weren’t tucked away in the corner of a busy emergency room.

Cas’s heart was beating almost as fast as Jack’s on the monitor as he puzzled over the symptoms of the past two days. None of it made any sense.

Even the doctor looked mildly perplexed as she meticulously worked Jack over, whispering gentle platitudes to try and keep the teenager calm.

Jack was too out of it to really care, too drugged up and exhausted to really process the world around him. His normally clear and inquisitive blue/hazel eyes dull and wrong, it was enough to make Castiel feel sick to his stomach.

Samuel Winchester was still perched in a chair by the door like a giant nervous pigeon ready to fly off at the first sign of trouble. Balancing on the edge of indecision just like the evening before.

“It’s your ridiculous dithering that got us stuck here.”

Part of Cas wanted to tell him to just leave, follow his brother out, but every time he worked up the energy to tell Sam off Jack started coughing again.

There were more important things to keep his attention.

The doctor gently asked Jack to roll back to lying on his back and she began looking in his mouth and throat with a penlight and tongue depressor. Jack watched eyebrows furrowed in suspicion. Castiel set aside the little bloody basin and gently squeezed his hand.

She paused after a moment sitting back eyebrows and mouth tightening thoughtfully before she spoke again.

“I need to hear the timeline of events again…”

It took Castiel a moment to realize she was addressing to him, her eyes fixed on him expectantly.

Castiel cleared his throat, “from where?”

He’d let Jack rest for several hours after they got back to the hotel, sleeping through the worst of the headache and letting the pain medicine take effect. He only woke Jack at around eight PM because he thought it was important for him to have something to eat before resting for the night, especially since they were supposed to leave early the next morning to drive back to Indiana.

Maybe he should have noticed how quiet he was after what happened at the graveyard. Jack was an emotional kid, usually, when he was really upset he was either sulked pointedly or cried, now instead… he just slept.

Maybe he should have noticed how listless Jack seemed when he’d woken him up, but he’d pinned it on not having eaten since their early lunch and the stress of the day.

“The seizure, I need to know what happened with the seizure and directly before…” The doctor was saying with the same soft comforting quality in her voice that she used with Jack.

“We um…” Cas took a shaky breath.

They’d stopped in a little mom and pop diner for a late dinner, a small place with worn red vinyl booths and Americana icons like vintage road signs and old coke bottles propped up on high shelves. It was a familiar place that Castiel had sometimes met John at to pick up Jack for the weekends when he was little.

It seemed more comforting after the rough day than an ordinary fast food joint and it felt oddly appropriate considering the anniversary of John’s death. He thought it might bring Jack’s spirits up.

But Jack had just been quiet leaning his head in his hand elbow resting on the table, mumbling that he wasn’t really hungry. He only ordered some french fries at Castiel’s insistence that he should have something .

Castiel felt a pang of anxiousness pressing on his chest as he watched Jack slowly stir a fry in ketchup and nibble at the end.

“He seemed okay… I thought…” Castiel paused and shot Sam a glance he didn’t feel like starting another argument in front of the doctor. “I thought he was getting over a cold and was upset because it had been a really stressful day. I asked him if he was okay…”

Jack had just shrugged not looking up, continuing to pick over his food, “I’m just not hungry.”

“I meant about what happened earlier…” Castiel insisted gently, feeling like a terrible role model having barely touched his own food.

“It’s fine,” Jack unrolled his silverware from its napkin and started to experimentally cut off the outer crispy layer of a fry, not looking up at his guardian.

“I shouldn’t be disappointed because I shouldn’t have expected anything in the first place,” he muttered harshly continuing to mangle his fries, “they don’t owe me anything, I should have stayed home and studied for finals.” He winced suddenly dropping the knife he was using and reaching up to rub his temple.

Worry rose in Castiel’s stomach, “Is your headache coming back…?”

“Can I have my phone back?” Jack deflected to the tabletop.

“No you’re still grounded,” Castiel batted the misdirection away concerned, “Jack please, talk to me.”

“I said I’m fine...!” Jack’s voice came out harsh and cracked halfway through his elbow slamming down on the table.

He blinked and jumped like he’d startled even himself, Castiel was about to chastise him for yelling when he realized just how white the boy had gone.

“Jack...:” Cas said uneasily. Hesitantly he started to rise from his side of the booth, worry growing by the moment.

“No! ...I’m sorry I…” Jack winced again squinting for a moment looking confused, “I didn’t mean…”

“I should have done something then…” Castiel muttered half to himself fiddling with the edge of the blanket the hospital lent him, he couldn’t even look Jack in the eye now.

“I… I’m going to the bathroom…” Jack muttered slowly getting to his feet.

Castiel teetered for a moment hand resting on the edge of the table considering following the teenager.

“I… I thought he had a stomachache or something I didn’t want to embarrass him…” Castiel tried to explain, feeling like he needed to justify his decision to the doctor and himself.

As the minutes passed though and Jack didn’t return Castiel’s worry grew to deep unease. Maybe whatever bug Jack had contracted was worse than he thought. He quickly pulled out the money for their food and went to find the men’s room near the back of the dinner.

He tried the handle and realized it was a single stall when it didn’t open, he heard no noise inside except a faucet running.

He knocked tentatively on the wooden “Gentlemen’s” pig attached to the door. “Jack?” he asked cautiously, “Are you alright?”

There was no sound for a long moment, then suddenly, violently, there was a hollow bang and a muffled thud.

Cas’s heart dropped into his stomach, eyes widening, “J-Jack!” he frantically knocked and getting no response began panickedly and uselessly twisting the handle trying to force it open.

“I ran to find someone,” his breath sped up at the memory.

He rushed away from the bathroom grabbing some poor waitress by the shoulder asking desperately for the bathroom key and frightening her in the process. She thankfully understood his hysterical ramblings and went to find the owner.

Then Castiel was repeating the story to the man, voice shaking in panicked exasperation and they went quickly to unlock the door.

“I should have followed Jack..” Castiel found himself repeating.

There had been a strange soft noise through the door when they made it back to the bathroom, but he hadn’t recognized it, he wasn’t prepared for what he saw when the key turned and the door swung open.

Jack was on his back one arm crumpled beneath him, his entire body twitching and jerking violently against the tile floor the muscles in his face and neck painful tensed.

“Oh god, Jack…!” Castiel barely breathed rushing to his side, Jack’s eyes were rolled back and unseeing and blood was trickling down the side of his head.

He yelled to the shocked owner to call 911, frantically pulling off his trenchcoat and folding it to place under Jack’s head running over everything he learned in college and the high school’s recent classroom first aid seminar. His hands were shaking almost as violently as Jack’s body.

There was no sound except the strained harsh whimpering groan uttering from Jack’s mouth and the still running faucet. The last eighty-odd seconds of the seizure that Castiel managed to count before Jack fell limp felt like an hour.

After it ended Castiel mechanically checked Jack’s rapid pulse with shaking hands and pulled him onto his side into the recovery position.

It felt like days before the ambulance arrived.

The doctor’s next questions mirrored those of the paramedics, and he was just as helpless to answer them.

“How long did the seizure last?”

“I don’t know…”

Why wasn’t I with him when it happened?

“What caused the injury to the side of his face and head?”

“I-I don’t…”

Castiel took a shaky breath trying to center himself back in reality, it all felt like a nightmare, like it happened to someone else.

“I...I think he hit his head on the sink when he fell but I don’t know. As for the seizure, I… I was only there near the end of it, and that was eighty-three seconds but he was in the bathroom for longer than that.”

He could feel Sam Winchester watching, his mouth slightly open like he wanted to comment, maybe to try and say something reassuring, he didn’t really care just felt vaguely irritated. It made him feel exposed.

He felt a hand on his arm shaking with the force of more coughing.

“It’s… okay… I’m okay now,” Jack tried to comfort him smiling blearily up at him from his hospital issue pillow blood still on the corner of his lip.

Cas smiled shakily back wanting to scream.

The doctor looked thoughtful searching through Jack’s chart for information. “What happened after you arrived at the hospital…” she asked them carefully setting aside the clipboard looking disappointed with what she found.

Jack only regained consciousness after he was loaded onto a gurney to transport in the ambulance. Castiel didn’t get to speak to him as he only managed to mumble a few answers to the questions the paramedics used to judge consciousness before passing out again.

He’d thought everything would be easier after they got to the hospital but after the initial buzz of the arrival and a quick physical exam of the barely conscious teenager, there were only a few promises about scheduling an MRI before they were left alone in an ER bay.

The place was buzzing with activity and noise on a Saturday evening, an apparent drunken accident involving a bunch of partying Kansas University students shoved beyond capacity into the back of a Chevy taking priority.

This time it was actually hours before another doctor came. A nurse stopped by every once in a while to check on vitals and then help put Jack’s swollen wrist in a temporary sling. Jack’s only major response to being touched was to clench his teeth and groan against the discomfort moving caused. Castiel felt ill, with everything else going on he hadn’t even noticed the painful injury.

Jack didn’t seem to mind the wait, the seizure had completely drained the last of the little energy he had to begin with. He’d laid terrifyingly limp and small on that hospital bed.

Cas eventually took to standing outside the bed’s privacy curtain anxiously trying to get the attention of passing staff, most too busy to do anything but mutter vague platitudes about how the “doctor would be with them soon” before going about their way. He knew in hindsight it was probably rude and unhelpful but at the time he couldn’t think straight, he felt as if Jack was rapidly slipping away from him.

“How long was it before you were seen?” the doctor’s voice was soothing.

“It was…” he rubbed his forehead trying to concentrate, “just after midnight so… about three hours? There… there was a shift change, I think. A new doctor came on the ward…”

He remembered getting the attention of what felt like the hundredth person that night, a woman with curly hair in a doctor’s coat with a lanyard that read Doctor Amelia Richardson.

“Ma’am please, my son,” he always went with son in situations like this, not so much to usurp John’s position, - as Dean might have accused him of - but because he was too worried and harassed to go through the ‘nephew, uncle, legal guardian’ talk over and over.

She seemed irritated at first sighing slightly before opening her mouth to start the same speech every passing ER worker had given him.

“Please, we’ve been here since nine, he’s in pain, h-he…” she seemed to sense the anxious desperation in his tone and finally, finally listened to his babbling, alarm creeping into her expression when he got to the part of his speech about Jack having the seizure subsequent to him probably knocking his head into a bathroom sink.

“Apparently it was somehow confused on the initial report because I couldn’t confirm when the injury happened,” Castiel chastised himself.

“Shhh…” Jack mumbled tiredly patting his uncle’s arm eyes half-closed, clearly starting to drift off to sleep again.

Doctor Richardson had quickly and quietly gone through the curtain to look at Jack, his heart rate elevated from pain and whatever was happening in his body, coughing shallowly and barely responsive to her prompts.

If she had been worried when Castiel mentioned the possible head injury-induced seizure she was absolutely livid when he mentioned that Jack had had a headache all of that afternoon and flu-like symptoms for the entire day. She was suppressing fury through gritted teeth when she’d confronted the lead doctor in charge of the ER.

“Well, I’m glad. I’m sure those college kids will be happy they were treated promptly when they find out they have to come back in because they were sitting in the emergency room with a kid symptomatic of meningitis for several hours…”

To Castiel’s relief, things moved a lot faster for Jack after that.

“You shouldn’t blame yourself for the inaccurate report, it was a traumatic confusing event,” Doctor Hannah said kindly. “And Jack’s MRI didn’t show signs of brain injury or meningeal swelling so it’s very unlikely what happened was caused by the fall or meningitis …”

Castiel nodded and sighed shakily. The information was bittersweet, he was glad Jack wasn’t brain-damaged but at least either issue would be an answer, something the hospital understood and could treat.

Now Jack was coughing up blood… and Castiel was even more lost than before…

“I… have a theory about what might be causing this new symptom…” the doctor told him carefully.

Castiel’s head shot up hopefully.

The doctor smiled kindly, before explaining, “the sides of Jack’s mouth and tongue, there is evidence of cuts caused by his teeth either from the fall or biting down during the seizure,” she hesitated, “there wasn’t bleeding visible around his mouth in the paramedics' report.”

Castiel was quickly beginning to question the competence of these specific paramedics, and the doctor’s next words did nothing to help him stop questioning his own competence as a parent.

“Because Jack was unattended during a good portion of the seizure there’s a good chance he swallowed blood… possibly aspirating… breathing it into his lungs.”

There was a long pause, the possibility was terrifying but…

“So… so will he be alright?” Sam Winchester said the words Castiel couldn’t bring himself to hope.

The doctor smiled sadly, “Aspiration can be dangerous, it can cause complications like pneumonia, and it doesn’t explain the seizure itself, his increased heart rate, or the pre-existing cough… but if I’m right we can treat it quickly and hopefully avoid any more problems”

Finally, Castiel let himself relax.

“We’re going to need to take him for a chest CT in a few minutes, and then a bron- … we’ll have to look in his lungs to confirm,” she explained gently.

Castiel looked back at Jack, his breathing was still labored but he had finally fallen back to sleep he hated that he’d probably have to be woken up again so soon for yet more poking and prodding.

“Can I… can I go with him?” Castiel asked quietly gently squeezing the boy’s arm.

“Of course…” she said with the same level of cautiousness as before, like she was afraid one more reminder of Castiel's inadequacy as a guardian would push him over the edge.

At this point though, Castiel was beginning to feel numb. Like all the horror and anxiety of the last twelve hours had reached a peak before plateauing into a high distant hum.

"I'm not going to leave you Jack…" Castiel whispered to the sleeping teenager, "not again…"

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Castiel followed Jack's gurney as a nurse came minutes later to wheel Jack off for scans and Sam was left alone standing awkwardly in the corridor.

He was a little vague on medical law having never practiced it but he was pretty certain they didn't let more than one family member stay with a minor for support during a medical procedure. And it wasn't as if he had the right or the gall to fight Castiel -the man who raised Jack- for the spot.

So instead he stood awkwardly in the corridor sheepishly juggling his phone between his hands and trying to make a decision on what to do next.

After his third strained smile to a passing nurse he decided coffee, coffee was a good idea, he set off in search of the machine he'd seen in a waiting area on their way in that morning.

'What the hell are you doing Sam ?'

He honestly wondered if he should be here at all, he felt like all he did was make things more strained. If he was going to insert himself back into Jack’s - and by extension Castiel’s - life like an unwanted splinter maybe he shouldn't do it when everything was already so tense and tender.

He sighed and let his self imposed mental abuse carry him all the way to the brightly lit waiting room.

He felt even more out of place amongst the anxious and tired huddles of various patients families. One exhausted woman was half asleep in one of the dull pink chairs as her two healthy children poked around scattered parenting and Better Homes and Gardens magazines.

The only person who stuck out worse than Sam was the man sitting beneath the food pyramid poster beside the vending machines, nursing his second cup of coffee that morning.

'Ah, so he didn’t leave... '

Sam pointedly ignored Dean slipping a dollar into the coffee vending machine.

"You have to grab a cup off the top, the part that drops them is broken…"

Sam just grunted vaguely refusing to look at his brother but following his advice.

"So, what? You're just going to ignore me now?" Dean said hollowly, with no real bite in his words.

"What do you want me to say Dean," Sam still didn't look at him.

There was a pause and Sam heard him shuffle uncomfortably.

"Did anything… happen after I left?" He asked carefully.

"Oh yeah," Sam said thornily, jabbing his order into the machine buttons, "Jack started coughing up blood."

Dean snorted, "Sam I'm being serious."

Sam gave him a pointed look around the side of the machine.

Dean's eyes widened and his mouth fell open, "fuck man…"

"They took him for a chest X-ray," Sam muttered picking up his coffee and starting to walk off without another word.

"Where are you headed?" Sam heard Dean get up and follow him.

"Radiation lab," he muttered, he couldn't stay in the waiting room with those parents, it felt wrong and they were starting to shoot them dirty looks because of Dean's foul language.

"You're pissed," Dean noted.

Sam grit his teeth, it wasn't a question, it didn't deem an answer. Dean knew what he did. Sam didn't fit in that hospital room, but did Dean even try?

"Why are you even still here Dean," he said bitterly not slowing his walk back to the elevator bank.

Dean was silent, brooding, probably remorseful when they got into the elevator. Sam didn't care.

He was just like John like that. He did something shitty that hurt the people around him without thinking and then 'felt bad about it' when confronted with the damage later. Sam was sick and tired of it.

"Well fuck Sam," Dean said louder than necessary arms crossed exasperated, "what am I supposed to do!"

Sam turned to glare at him, "you think I know? We're all flying blind here but how about to start with not whatever the hell that shit you pulled was!"

His brother glanced around the metal box like he was searching for answers in the floor directory.

"Castiel shouldn't have lied…" Dean tried.

Sam snorted, "no shit Dean, but you're not six…"

Dean fell silent again as elevator doors popped open, not arguing with him, either knowing Sam was right or else not willing to prove him right by screaming in an open hallway.

"Fine, sure I just…" Dean sighed shoulders dropping and rubbing at his face, "I barely know these fucking people, maybe you're right maybe I should just leave…"

Sam was surprised by how fast the fight went out of his brother's voice. Part of him wanted him to escalate, wanted him to give him a reason to take all his anxiety and frustration at just one of the sources.

"Don't…" he found himself saying, breathing deeply trying to calm himself down, wasn't he supposed to be the younger sibling?

"Why…?" Dean asked flatly.

The answers floated foggily in Sam's perception. "We should be here, I think we owe that to them."

Dean opened his mouth to argue with him but seemed to quell his need to go off on a tangent, "yeah well, I don't think they want me here."

"Well be here anyway," Sam said dryly.

"And do what Sam, sit in the corner and… and look sad?" Dean said frustration and exhaustion clear in his face.

"Just be here Dean…" Sam found himself saying not even sure when it became clear to him. "If they ask for something… If they need something, be there…"

They both fell quiet after that standing outside the radiology lab. Sam sipping his lukewarm coffee Dean with his arms crossed seeming lost in thought.

They didn't have much time to brood though as one of the doors open and out came a harassed looking Castiel talking quickly on his phone.

He began pacing the hall.

"I… I'm sorry please can this wait until later… yes I know it's nearly noon…" he glanced up just long enough to spot Sam and Dean before looking quickly away, embarrassed.

Sam looked determinedly at the far wall trying to tune the conversation out, it didn't really work.

"I can pay, of course, I can pay for the extra day, you have my card… I… fine can you please just give me a few hours…" the man was biting his lip face tightening with stress.

"Until two?" He sighed frustrated, "no no I can get there, I can get there… just, leave the luggage alone...”

"Yeah… thank you to…" Sam heard the snide irritation creep into Castiel's voice.

Sam heard Castiel end the call and finally looked innocently up. The man was looking at them, fiddling nervously with his phone and looking unsure.

"What's up?" Dean asked nonchalantly. Sam blinked he wasn't even aware he was listening.

Castiel drew back into himself straightening his tie and composing himself, "Is there any taxi or bus service in Lawrence…?" He asked.

"What happened to your car?" Dean asked.

Castiel gave him a suspicious look for a long moment before answering a little sheepishly. "Because I'm an idiot, I rode with Jack in the ambulance."

"What did that guy want?" Sam asked cautiously.

Castiel sighed fiddling embarrassed again, "The hotel, we missed the checkout time this morning, I completely forgot about it with um…"

The sentence hung heavy.

"Do you want a ride?"

Castiel and Sam both stared at Dean like he'd grown a third head.

Dean shrugged and shot Sam a thin smile, "what? I'm being here…"

#SPN #supernatural #fanfiction #dean winchester #Sam Winchester #castiel #Jack Kline #whump #TW seizure #illness #family drama

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sushigirlali · 6 years

Text

The Politics of Dancing - Part II (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV

Summary: Ben has known Rey most of her life, but when things change between them one tumultuous night, can he convince her that they have a future? Or will secret legacies, scheming parents, and fetching suitors get in the way?

Parings: Rey + Ben Solo|Kylo Ren, Finn + Rose Tico

Continuity: Regency AU

Rating: E

A/N: Sorry for the wait, friends, I haven’t been feeling very inspired lately. The Tumblr apocalypse and subsequent drop in activity has got me down. On the bright side, this story is now going to be a three-parter. This chapter was getting really long, so I decided to split it up. Enjoy!

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr

——————

The Politics of Dancing - Part II

By: sushigirlali

——————

London, December 1818

——————

Peering over the rim of her crystal wine glass, Rey slowly sipped the sweet red liquid in lieu of answering Lady Shara Bey’s probing questions. Poe’s mother could be a little pushy, but Rey was too used to Leia’s brand of brazen self-confidence to be excessively offended by her lack of tact.

“Really, my dear, you must come visit Yavin after the new year,” Shara simpered. “We have the most picturesque landscapes and historical homes, not to mention a great number of fashionable neighbors to dine with.”

“Thank you for the invitation, but my father and I have plans to stay in town through Easter,” Rey said noncommittally, finishing her glass and signaling Artoo for another. I wonder if anyone would notice if I just kept the bottle. “Maybe another time, though,” she added, not wanting to sound ungrateful.

Appearing disappointed but not discouraged, Shara tried a new approach. “Did you know my son was recently titled Viscount of Yavin? His father will retain the title of Earl until his death, at which point the name will be bestowed upon Poe.”

Rey slanted her friend a look, trying not to laugh at his pained expression. “Congratulations, my lord.”

“He’s also incredible marksman, you know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen his equal. In these dangerous times, it would certainly be reassuring to have someone as capable as him by your—”

“Rey can shoot just as well as any man,” Poe interrupted brusquely. “So, I don’t think she’s in need of a protector.”

“And what would you know about the needs of women?” Shara snapped, putting Poe on the defensive.

“Mother, can we not—”

Covering her friend’s hand where it rested on the table, Rey stepped in to head off a confrontation. “Poe understands me quite well, and I him, so there’s no need to be insulting, madam. He’s a credit to your house, whether you want to acknowledge it or not.”

Lady Bey rounded on Rey, but their hostess cut her off before she could make a retort.

“Shara, would you mind switching seats with my husband?” Leia requested, seeming to materialize out of thin air. “I would so love to catch up with you.”

Leia’s tone was friendly, but her steely gaze made it clear that she wasn’t asking.

“I—yes, Leia, that would be lovely,” Shara said stiffly, dropping her napkin as she stood. “If you’ll excuse me, Lady Niima.” She gave her son a small nod. “Poe, I’m…I’ll see you later.”

He inclined his head, but didn’t speak again until she was out of earshot. “Thanks, Rey,” he said under his breath.

“No problem,” she returned, giving his hand a comforting squeeze.

Following Leia and Shara’s progress toward the head of the table, Rey was unsurprised to find Ben staring in her direction. What did surprise her, however, was the automatic rush of heat that raced up her spine just from making eye contact with the man.

Tilting her head, Rey studied his unique features, admiring the way his inky black hair fell wild around his pale face, the silky strands sticking out at odd angles were her searching fingers had sifted through them earlier. He wasn’t classically handsome, not in the way Poe was, but Rey found his too large ears and deep-set eyes and slightly crooked nose ridiculously tempting.

Not to mention that scar, she hummed, tracing the faded mark with appreciative hazel orbs.

He’d been a hellraiser in his youth, and she’d idolized him because of it. So many society men were afraid to be themselves, to be real, but not Ben Solo. He was outspoken and honest, even when he probably shouldn’t be. If she’d been a man, Rey liked to think that she would have followed in Ben’s footsteps.

Well, maybe not literally, she allowed, sizing him up. His height and build were so far out of the norm that he stood out in any room. Especially tonight.

Ben looked dashing in his neatly tailored black coat and trousers, the custom-made vestments showing off his long legs and broad shoulders to perfection. Still, Rey couldn’t help but picture his powerful body stripped of all finery on black sheets, just the way she’d seen him last night.

So manly, so beautiful…

The longer she surveyed him, the more she wanted to crawl across the table and slide into his lap; to feel his thickly muscled arms wrapped around her again as she devoured those sinfully full lips…

Get ahold of yourself, Rey! she chided, feeling her nipples stiffen behind the thin fabric of her chemise. Now is not the time to be letting your imagination run wild!

But it was too late. As if sensing her wicked thoughts, Ben’s dark gaze fell to her breasts, scraping across her taut peaks like he owned them. Why did I decide to forego a corset again? Cursing her lack of appropriate undergarments, Rey crossed her arms and prayed that he was the only one who’d noticed her wanton behavior.

Stop looking at me like that, she mouthed, fighting down the heat rising in her cheeks.

No, he replied with a smug smile, obviously amused by her blatant response.

Why, you—

“Hey, kid!”

Rey jumped as Han dropped into Lady Bey’s empty seat. “Uncle!”

“Sorry about that,” Han chortled, patting her on the shoulder, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s quite alright, sir,” she said, playfully wrinkling her nose at him. Maybe I should tie a bell around your neck just in case, though. That’s twice now you’ve snuck up on me tonight, a third time could be disastrous.

“And you, Lord Dameron, how is your evening going?” Han courteously inquired.

“Whatever the opposite of festive is,” Poe deadpanned, lifting his glass in salute.

“Yes, the atmosphere is rather tense for a yuletide celebration,” Han said jovially, reaching past Rey to click his glass against the Viscount’s. “I apologize for any consternation you might have felt due to my wife’s meddling. She can be a bit overzealous when it comes to the art of matchmaking.” He threw a wink at Rey. “Especially where my darling niece is concerned.”

“Uncle,” she groaned, “not you too!”

“Now, now, Rey, I just think—” Han stopped short as See-Threepio dragged a serving cart laden with at least five different cuts of meat and several sauces into the room. “I just think we should talk about this after dinner. Heaven forbid we let all this incredible food go to waste!”

Saved by the second course!

Rey thought irreverently.

Good thing Han prefers food to lectures…

——————

Gripping his goblet tightly enough to shatter it, Ben glared at the perfect picture his lover made sitting next to Lord Dameron: her pretty white dress and sun-kissed complexion playing nicely off his black hair and formal attire. Rey and the newly appointed Viscount looked good together and he hated it.

Since when are they more than mere acquaintances, anyway? he sulked, annoyed by how well they seemed to be getting on. What could they possibly have in common? Ben’s brow furrowed as Rey slid her hand over Dameron’s. And why the hell is she touching him?!

While they weren’t enemies per se, the older man had been a thorn in his side since university. Popular more for his personality than his wealth, something Ben had always been sensitive about, Poe had been his rival in everything from fencing to making friends, but up until tonight, they’d never pursued the same woman.

First Johnson, now Dameron, Ben frowned. Is Rey friendly with every eligible bachelor in the county? How many other men do I have to compete with?

Unused to feeling anything but supreme confidence, Ben tried to reign in his riotous emotions. It wasn’t Rey’s fault that he’d been supplanted as her dinner date, after all, that honor belonged to his interfering mother. Having long given up trying to arrange the love life of her only son, it appeared that Leia had moved onto her niece. Unfortunately for the Skywalker matriarch, Rey had a mind of her own.

Good luck, mother. That little spitfire has an independent streak a mile wide and I very much doubt you’ll be able to exert influence over any facet of her life. Ben took a thoughtful swig of ale. Besides, Rey would never allow herself to be bullied into anyone’s bed. She’s always been adamant that only the deepest love would induce her into…into…oh!

All at once, Ben realized that sneaking into his room had been a declaration of sorts, an admittance of Rey’s feelings and intentions toward him. At the time, he’d been too eager to possess her to pick up on the significance of her actions, but now, recalling the way Rey’s beautiful body had tangled with his, practically shouting how much she loved him, Ben felt like a fool for not being more perceptive.

We made love from one side of the room to the other, locked together for endless hours in our own little world and yet, somehow, I failed to see the sentiment behind her surrender. Ben marveled at his own stupidity. But what does she want long-term? To become my mistress? My wife? Or was last night just a passing fancy?

He supposed he should be wary of getting in too deep too fast, but he wasn’t. Beyond her boldness in the bedroom, Rey’s jealousy on the dance floor and subsequent ardor on the veranda gave credence to the notion that she felt more than simple desire for him.

Is this love then? he mused. It could be. We’re good together. Ben paused. No, better than good. We’re fantastic together. Amazing, even. Hell, we barely took time to breath let alone consider the consequences, and I…I…oh, shite! Ben cursed as realization struck. I completely neglected to take precautions with her!

Regardless of who bewitched whom, Rey had come to his bed untouched, putting the onus on him to protect her from potential repercussions. But he hadn’t; he’d put her at risk. She could be carrying my child even now. I want her, but am I ready for that kind of responsibility? he wondered.

Only vaguely aware of his mother standing up beside him and moving around the table to speak with Lady Bey, Ben allowed himself to envision what life would be like with Rey by his side. They could ride together, like when they were younger, read to each other in the library, have hours long discussions over dinner…and make love every night. There was so much he could teach her, so much she could teach him…and if she was pregnant, well…

The more he mulled over the idea, the less terrifying the prospect of fatherhood became. We might have twins, a boy to going shooting with Rey and a girl to practice calligraphy with me. They’d have freckled cheeks and dark hair and big hazel eyes…

As the appealing image formed in his mind, Ben decided that irrespective of what his mother or Luke had in mind, the only way Rey was getting engaged to someone other than him this holiday season was over his dead body.

——————

For as long as she’d known Ben Solo, he’d never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve. But in the past few hours, he’d admitted to being jealous of Finn, nearly seduced her on the dance floor and then on the patio, and now he was giving Poe dark looks as well.

What is going on? Rey stared down at her plate, pushing her venison around without really seeing it. It’s not like we’re engaged or anything, and he hasn’t once mentioned love, so why is he acting so territorial? I need to get him alone again and—

“I wonder what’s wrong with Lord Ren this evening,” Poe said, voicing her concerns.

Rey schooled her features, hoping no one else had noticed Ben’s strange behavior. “I have no idea what you mean.”

“Don’t you? Ren looks like he’s contemplating murder every time he glances in my direction. Have I done something wrong or is the wild mushroom soup not to his liking?” he inquired.

“Well, he does hate mushrooms,” she said drolly. I’m not sure how he feels about you, though.

“I’ll just assume the soup is the most likely culprit, then,” Poe chuckled. “What a relief! I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of my old schoolmate; he’s a real fire-eater.”

“You have no idea,” Rey mumbled, knowing full well how it felt to burn up in Ben’s arms.

Something in her tone must have given her away because Poe looked suddenly suspicious. “Is there something you want to tell me about you and Lord Ren?”

“There’s nothing to tell,” she denied, glad that Han appeared to be lost in conversation with Baroness Kanata. Please, keep him busy for me, Maz, because I don’t think Poe is going to let this go.

“No? Judging by your behavior, and Ren’s, there seems to have been a development in your relationship since the last time we spoke,” he said speculatively.

“You’re just imagining things,” Rey gulped, reaching for her wine. He’s definitely not going to let this go.

“Careful, love,” Poe cautioned, gently steadying her hand to keep her from knocking over the nearly full glass of claret.

“Thanks,” she said sheepishly, setting it down again without taking a sip.

“You’re welcome.” Then, more seriously, “Even if you don’t want to tell me now, just know that you can always confide in me, Rey. I’m no gossip.”

“I know,” she replied solemnly. “You’ve trusted me with so much about your own life, but I—I’m scared. I did something brash last night, something that could have lasting consequences...”

“Rey, I’m sure whatever you did is—”

“I seduced Ben,” Rey confessed in a rush. “I don’t know what came over me, but I went into his room and took my nightgown off and I—we—and it was wonderful—but now he’s acting strange and possessive and I don’t know what to do!”

Poe hid it well, but she could tell that she’d shocked him. “You went to him?”

Rey squared her shoulders, determined to take responsibility for her actions. “I did.”

“And he didn’t turn you away?” he said in surprise.

She shook her head, puzzled. “Should he have?”

“Not necessarily,” Poe said without judgement. “Ren must want you very much to risk being ostracized by his own family, though.”

“How do you mean?”

“I can’t imagine Lord Skywalker will be pleased that his nephew deflowered his adoptive daughter,” he said bluntly.

“But it wasn’t Ben’s fault!” she protested. “I seduced him, remember?!”

“Rey, Ren is a man. An experienced man, at that. I can assure you that it will matter very little to your father whether you initiated the situation or not,” Poe said plainly. “Skywalker may not be very traditional, but he’s still your guardian.”

“Oh, I…hadn’t thought about it that way,” Rey grimaced. “What should I do then? I can’t imagine not seeing Ben anymore, but I don’t want to hurt Luke either.”

“As long as you’re discreet, I wouldn’t worry about it too much about it for now,” he offered. “Your father doesn’t strike me as particularly perceptive when it comes to matters of the heart.”

“No, he’s not,” she agreed. “There’s always been something between Ben and I, a special connection as it were, but I don’t think Luke has ever noticed.” Rey relaxed a little. “Thanks, Poe.”

He waved away her gratitude, looking mischievous. “So…” he muttered, leaning close, “did you enjoy yourself?”

“That’s none of your business!” she blushed, surveying the table to make sure no one was listening, least of all her wayward relatives.

“Of course it’s not,” Poe conceded, lowering his voice. “But did you?”

Rey bit her lip, vacillating on whether or not she should answer.

“Oh, come on, it’s not like I’m going to repeat anything you say, no matter how raunchy.”

“I know you won’t,” she sighed, playing along. “Alright, yes. I enjoyed myself. Immensely.”

“And he didn’t hurt you?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “No, the experience was…umm…satisfying.”

“Good.”

“Is that all?” Rey said sarcastically. “Any other personal details you’d like to know?”

“Just one,” he said dryly. “Do you want to sleep with him again?”

“Poe!”

“In for a penny, in for a pound?” he grinned.

“Well, I—I wouldn’t say no,” she stammered.

“And what about him? Do you think he still wants you too?”

“I don’t know,” she said evasively.

“Rey.”

“Maybe?”

“You don’t know?” he teased. “I could always go ask Ren directly, I suppose.”

“Don’t you dare!” she yelped. “Yes, okay?! Happy now?”

“Are you?” Poe asked rather pointedly.

Rey was quite for a moment, caught off-guard. “You know, I think I am,” she said in amazement. “I think Ben’s wanted me for a long time; maybe even as long as I’ve wanted him. He was careful to never let on, you see, but by the way he performed last night…”

“Then you know what you have to do,” he said with a playful wink.

“I do?” she said bemusedly.

“Really, Rey?” Poe rolled his eyes. “If you’d like to continue your…relationship, I suggest you ask Lord Ren to make an honest woman out of you first.”

“Marriage?” she gasped.

“Is there another word for satisfying your natural urges without societal contempt?”

“But I’m nobody,” Rey asserted. “Why would Ben want to marry me?”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” he said sternly. “Earl Johnson said you’ve been made Luke’s legal heir. If that doesn’t make you more attractive on the marital market, I don’t know what will.”

“But I don’t want him—or anyone—to fancy me simply because I may or may not be inheriting a fortune,” she frowned. “And I really do wish Finn would stop spreading that rumor around. I haven’t even discussed it with—”

Rey stopped speaking as Artoo came around to remove their dinner plates and set the table for dessert.

“Buck up, darling.” Poe pushed back his chair. “You’ve always felt a special connection with Ren, right? I’m sure he feels it too.”

“Perhaps, but where are you going,” she said sharply.

“The loo,” he laughed. “Sorry, love, but nature calls.”

Rey worried her lip. “But what if Ben approaches me while you’re gone?”

“I’m sure you can handle him, Rey. You’re no shrinking violet.”

“I know,” she snorted. “It’s just…he makes me so crazy sometimes that I want to—”

“Kiss him? Marry him? Bear his children?”

“Now that would be telling.”

——————

A/N: I’m actually kind of hoping that the title to EPIX is such a spoiler that they’re not even going to tell us what it is! I don’t know, I just think it would be super exciting to go into the movie with a little surprise dropped into the title scrawl XD Thanks for reading! Please review!

#reylo #reylo fanfic #reylo fic #rey #kylo ren #ben solo #regency au #happy Christmas in feburary #lolz #my fanfiction #my art #sushigirlali #the politics of dancing #pregnancy #reylo baby #maybe #we'll see #just tagging to be safe

13 notes · View notes

veebcrry · 6 years

Text

Pairing: Saeran x MC

Note: This story includes a CUSTOM MC who goes by the name of Sharon, you can find more information on her over here. If you are not fond of these types of stories, no problem! Just don’t leave any hate, okay? ^^

Rating: All ages

Words: 2355

Summary (PLEASE READ THIS TO FULLY UNDERSTAND THE STORY): This story was written to celebrate the one year relationship between our muses. On May 25th 2017 is when our muses first started dating in our initial Twitter verse.

I based this piece on the 2ND BAD RELATIONSHIP ending which occurs in Ray’s route. For those who haven’t played it, Saeran gives MC some sort of medicine which makes her pass out before she wakes up again in Rika’s apartment without any memories. Therefore the game proceeds to ‘reset’. I wanted to explore what would happen if MC continued on with her life after being found, but eventually runs into Saeran again.

The story takes place FIVE YEARS after Ray’s route. I assumed the game continued on as it normally would but with a separate MC eventually being introduced who got into Seven’s route to trigger the secret endings. The Saeran in this story has been away from Mint Eye for three years and his design also follows the one of the secret endings. He recently moved away from his brother’s home to live on his own and works a part-time job in a small cafe in town.

Last but not least, I also intertwined this AU with one of our personal love child AUs. MC had been pregnant at the time of the ‘reset’ and gave birth to a daughter named Lily nine months after. Although Lily doesn’t make much appearance in this story except from being mentioned, it’s still important to know this.

--> The story is written in 3rd person but focuses mainly on my custom MC since it’s easiest for me to write it that way. Saeran’s dialogue will be portrayed in BOLD to avoid confusion.

- Admin Strawberry

ACT 1: THE ENCOUNTER

The moment he wrapped one arm around her smaller frame, she felt as if something inside of her was stirred awake. His voice, his scent, his warmth which she could vaguely make out the moment their bodies touchedー All of her senses were being assaulted by things which seemed so familiar and somehow bittersweet.

She slowly lifted one hand, placing it on top of her chest, her fingertips trembling ever so slightly.

Ba-dum ba-dum.

Why was her heart racing? Was she still shaken up by what had happened earlier? The drunk man who tried to hit on her had long disappeared out of their sight. Now it was just the two of them, surrounded by silence. She should have probably thanked him by now, but the act of gratitude got pushed aside by the million other thoughts rushing through her head.

Hazel hues peered upwards as she lifted her head, trying to get a glance at his face. Searching for some clues which might help her remember. Her memories had always been foggy, she remembered bits and pieces of her past but other parts were completely blank. Could he be the key to unlocking those memories?

The suddenly lack of contact pulled her back to reality, footsteps echoing through the alleyway as he distanced himself, most of his expression hidden behind a layer of messy, crimson red bangs.

ー "Don't walk alone at night from now on...You won't always get so lucky."

Sharon wasn't sure if he was looking out for her, or if she was being scolded. Either way was fine, as long as she could hear that voice which made her heart soar. As she stood there - completely - she almost failed to notice him walking away, only just in time reaching out to grab hold of the edge of his sleeve.

He turned around, looking at her with an almost expressionless face, just the tiniest hint of confusion mixed in.

"Ah..."

"Do you still need something?"

She shook her head, only now realizing her own actions before letting go of the fabric. What was she doing? He is a stranger. She's making herself look like a creep.

"No...I just wanted to say thank you. For saving me."

Then they parted ways.

Sharon distinctively remembered coming home afterwards and crawling straight into bed. That night, she saw a certain dream again but this time, things seemed just a little clearer. As they stood in the garden surrounded by blooming roses, the blurred figure embraced her and for the first time in years, she woke up with a smile on her face.

ACT 2: THE INTRODUCTION

A few months had passed since and life regained its usual flow. Between raising a five year old and juggling between several jobs, there wasn't much free time left for the young female. During the day, her parents and older brother would take turns looking after Lily before she came and pick her up after work. Soon enough the little girl would start primary school as well, which would lift some pressure off her family's shoulders.

Today was one of those days where she got out of work early so she decided to drop by a small cafe in town to pick up a box of her daughter's favorite pancakes. Let's say it's her way of apologizing for not being able to spend more time together. Even though she had the child completely unexpectedly, Lily was more important to her than anything.. Even after finding out she was deaf, she would do absolutely everything to make the girl's life as comfortable as possible.

"I hope she'll like these...They're not homemade but she has a sweet tooth just like her mommy."

“One set of artisanal pancakes. That will be 8500 won, please."

"Ah! Yes...!"

She hurriedly got out her wallet, exchanging glances with the employee behind the counter for just a split second. However, that was all she needed to freeze into place, nearly dropping her money onto the floor. It might be rude to stare, but the longer she looked, the harder it became to avert her gaze. She could become lost in those bright, minty green hues.

"You are...You're the person who saved me then! Do you work here?"

His expression seemed troubled for just a second before going back to its usual stoic demeanor.

"Excuse me, but that will be 8500 Won. There's other customers waiting."

As much as she would like to continue chatting, it would be selfish of her to demand his attention now. What if he got into trouble because of her, She had worked at a similar type of place before and knew very well how ruthless some managers could be.

"Right! My daughter really likes this place's pancakes, so I come here quite often. I'm sure we'll see each other again some time! ...My name's Sharon, by the way! Nice to meet you."

The brunette handed him the money, watching his hands disappear behind the register for a while before returning her change alongside a small plastic bag with the box of baked goods.

When she returned to her parents home that evening, Lily was overjoyed by the treat, gobbling up the pancakes as if it was nothing. She surely got that trait from her mother. The girl was already in bed, snoozing away when Sharon was cleaning up the table, grabbing the now empty plastic bag to throw it away when she noticed a small slip of paper fall out onto the floor.

"Hm? The receipt?"

She swiftly picked it up, shocked to find out that there were a few words scribbled underneath the list of items, her heart skipping a beat.

< My name's Ray. Likewise. >

ACT 3: THE REUNION

They met up several times afterwards, always in the cafe. Sharon began to look forward to ending her shift early, using the fact she wanted to buy pancakes for Lily as an excuse to go see "Ray". While their conversations were never long, she still found great joy in being able to talk to him. She discovered that he's two years older than her, recently moved into a place of his own and has a soft spot for ice cream. ー She has yet to ask him what his favorite flavor is.

Even her parents seemed to have picked up on her change in attitude. Just the other day, her mother noted how she seems much more cheerful again lately. While the brunette had always been a positive thinker, things did change just a little ever since the incident five years ago. Disappearing for a few days, only to be found with her memories lost really does change a person. However, she had Lily just a few months after and perhaps forced herself to stay happy for the child's sake.

Yet, now was different. This wasn't a fabricated smile no more.

---

"Oh? You're on break right now? That's unusual~"

Sharon halted in her steps, standing right by the entrance of the coffee shop. It was usually rather busy around this hour, which only gives her even less opportunity to hold a longer conversation. You can imagine she was pleasantly surprised to spot the male right by the door, staring upwards at the sky. "Ah! Come to think of it...There's actually something I've wanted to ask you for a while, but I never got the chance to."

Without wasting any time, she dug on hand inside her purse before pulling out her cellphone. "Would it be okay to exchange numbers? I feel bad for always bothering you at work so I thought maybe we could...Meet up one one of your off days. ー Or even just text at first! That's okay as well!"

A soft pink dust appeared on her cheeks as she awaited his response, noticing how he seemed to be staring at the now lit up screen of her phone which displayed a picture of herself and Lily, smiling brightly while holding up two cones of strawberry ice cream. "...She's five years old right now. I can't believe she's going to be a first grader soon. Time really flies by."

"What's her name?"

The male had never shown much interest in her life before, with most of the questions coming from her side, so she was a little bit caught off guard by his question.

"Her name's Lily!"

"...That's a pretty name."

"Right? She's actually named after a flower. Lily-of-the-valley...Do you know them? They're those cute, small white flowers. Those flowers are special to me, that's why I chose that name."

For the first time ever since she met "Ray", she saw his eyes lit up, his face much more expressive than before. "Curious~? There's this person...I don't remember their name or face, but I do remember they were infatuated by flowers. Did you know that each flower has its own meaning? They're the one who taught me that the flower language of the Lily-of-the-valley isー"

"ー Promise of happiness."

"Eh? Ah...So you know already..."

It was at that exact moment that all pieces fell into place, her petite frame tensing up as she raised one hand towards her forehead. No matter how hard she tried in the past, those memories remained a blur. Yet right now, she felt as if something was coming back to her.

---

"ー How come you're always sitting by yourself, staring at the flowers? Don't you get bored?"

A young girl of maybe twelve or thirteen years old crouched down next to a boy of her age, perhaps a little older. They were surrounded by tall grass, a few stray flowers blooming here and there. In the background there was a large building with a cross placed on the roof. A church? ー No, it seemed more like a school, several other students playing outside in the front court.

**"I...I like watching them. The flowers are like my friends."**

"Hm..."

What a weirdo, is surely what she must have thought at that moment.

**"Did you know? Each flower has its own meaning. Hibiscus stands for delicate beauty, Primrose means young love and the Daffodil symbolizes self-love. But my favorite has to be this one...The Lily-of-the-valley."**

"What does it mean then?"

**"Promise of happiness. It gives me hope for the future. That maybe someday...Even someone like me can become happy."**

At that moment, the boy expression softened but at the same time, she couldn't help but feel pity towards him. Wouldn't it be better to try and become happy now rather than leaving that up to fate?

"Hey! Why don't you become friends with me? It's a little lonely to have just the flowers, right? If we become friends, you'll have someone to talk to about thisー Uhm...Flower language stuff!"

**"Friends? I can?"**

"Of course you can! My name's Sharon, by the way! Nice to meet you!"

She held out her hand, lips curving upwards into a bright smile as she waited for him to grab hold of it.

"Sharon... My name's Saeran. Likewise."

She remembered now. That very day.

The bright blue sky.

The freshly bloomed, snow white Lily-of-the-valley.

And the boy with crimson red hair.

---

As the memories flooded back to her, she only vaguely registered him saying 'I have to get back to work now', her head jerking to the side as she heard the familiar chime of the entrance bell.

No!

Don't go!

"...Saeran!"

His shoulders visibly twitched, before the male remained still, petrified to the spot. She didn't step forward just yet either, her breathing slightly ragged as tears brimmed in the corners of her eyes. She instinctively called out for him, but what was she supposed to say next? *She* had forgotten about him. Everything. Their past at the cathedral school, their reunion a few years later, the time they spent together at Mint Eye and even the love they once shared.

"I...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..."

"You..."

"Huh?"

"I figured you would be happier without me. I hurt you...I hurt you very deeply. I did all those horrible things. I couldn't even control my own demons. Yet, you never stopped caring for me, trying to bring out the good side I refused to see myself. That's why I thoughtー I wasn't worthy of you. If you were to be somewhere far out of my reach, you would finally be happy."

"Why would you...?"

"But even that didn't work. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to see you. Then when you were getting hit on by that guy, I kind of acted on instinct. I thought it would be okay just once. Not knowing that next up, *you* would be coming after me. You're quite persistent, do you know that?"

The redhead finally turned out to face her, smiling awkwardly as he fought back the tears. "It's like fate is laughing me in the face..."

"You're right...I am persistent! I said this five years ago and I'll say it again...I love you! I love you! I love you! I'll say it ten times, a hundred times...Until my voice goes hoarse! Until I get through that thick skull of yours!"

"But I huー"

"You think I've never been hurt before? You don't have to treat me like a fragile doll. Even if I get hurt...I'll get up again. Heh. Don't underestimate a single mom, you know. I can take a hit or two."

She finally lunged forward, wrapping both arms around his shoulders before pulling him close. "You don't have to be perfect. I can see you've made great progress. Truly loving someone means that you'll accept them as a whole, even their flaws." A choked sob came in response as she slowly closed her eyes, her fingers idly running through his curly locks.

They still had a long way to go, that's for sure.

However, both of them were certain things would be okay.

Just as the Lily-of-the-valley predicted on the day of their meeting, someday they would surely find happiness.

#mystic messenger #saeran choi #saeran x mc #mysmes #custom mc #thank you very much to everyone who will read this!#I'm not the best writer but I tried my best <3

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winryofresembool · 4 years

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 21

aka Caleo uni au

Chapter summary: Calypso and Annabeth have an important encounter

A/N: Sorry for the lateness! It’s time for some Annabeth action. Just a fair warning, since next Friday is the Christmas day and the Friday after that the New Year, I am not sure when I'm going to be able to post again. Be prepared for at least one week's break, possibly even two. But don't worry because more is definitely coming.

I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think!!

Calypso is the bolded text and Hazel the regular in the texting part.

Words: 2300+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

…

Getting Leo to talk to her again was a huge weight off of Calypso’s shoulders, but there was still more to be done. Annabeth still kept to herself during the history lectures and Calypso didn’t want to force her to talk; she felt Annabeth should be the one to initiate it. From what Calypso had heard, Piper had tried to talk to her earlier, but so far Calypso hadn’t noticed any significant changes in Annabeth’s behavior. When she walked into the lecture hall that day, she noticed the blonde girl on the opposite side of the room, focused on her book. Letting a small sigh out of her mouth, she went to her usual seat pretty far from Annabeth.

Since the lecture wouldn’t start for a few more minutes, Calypso decided to use the time by checking her phone. When she opened her WhatsApp, she considered for a moment to whom she should text. Her first instinct told her she should contact Leo, but she imagined he was probably busy going to his own lecture at that moment, so she ended up scrolling through her other contacts instead. Noticing that Hazel seemed to be online, she started typing to her.

10:05: Hi, Hazel

10:05: Hi there! Was just thinking about you!

10:06: You were? How come?

10:06: Frank just texted me that on his morning jog near the campus today he had run into someone he had apparently recently met somewhere (he didn’t tell me where exactly).

10:07: and they had talked for a while.

10:07: At some point Frank mentioned the guy’s first name was Leo. I’m pretty sure it was /the/ Leo!!

10:08: How can you be so sure? I’m sure there are plenty of Leos around this campus. It’s not a rare name.

10:09: no but hear me out. The description matches with what you’ve told me. He said he’s a mechanic with a dog and when I asked Frank what he looked like, he said ‘dark hair, scrawny, eyes look like there’s some mischief going on in that head of his all the time but he’s not actually that bad when you talk to him’

10:09: I admit that does sound like the Leo I know

10:09: I told you! What a small world it is, apparently the boys we’re interested in know each other!

10:10: Still feels so weird when you put it that directly. You’re the only one who knows so far. So please, if you somehow happen to see him as well, don’t say anything.

10:10: Alright, I won’t. But what are /you/ waiting for? If he’s anything like the boys in our art class I’m sure he’s all over you by now.

10:10: Hazel!

10:11: Sorry, sorry. But you did talk to him after that… situation you had?

10:11: I did. We’re good now. Thanks for the advice the other day, by the way. It did help.

10:12: Ha, so you’re saying I gave you good advice. Could that mean that maybe you should also reread what I just said a moment ago?

10:12: Sorry, I gotta go. Something came up. TTYL!

10:13: Calypso!!

10:13: That’s so rude :P

Calypso hadn’t lied, though. She had noticed someone sneaking from the other side of the hall to the seat behind her, and that someone happened to be her friend to whom she hadn’t properly spoken for several weeks now. Trying to stay on her seat as neutrally as possible, still watching her now dark phone screen, she waited for Annabeth to start the conversation.

There was a tap on her shoulder. “Cal…” she finally heard Annabeth’s familiar voice say.

“Yeah?” Calypso asked tentatively, slowly turning on her seat to see the speaker.

“I think we should talk,” Annabeth stated, sounding more like her usual self.

“Um, sure,” Calypso answered but didn’t have time to say more when the professor stopped her, starting the lecture. “After this class, OK?”

“Right.” Annabeth nodded. Then she turned her focus to the professor, but Calypso noticed that not for long. She started doodling something into her notebook and was tapping on the floor with her foot, a habit that Calypso had noticed was very familiar to Leo, especially when he was nervous. Sometimes it was so easy to forget that Annabeth also had dyslexia and ADHD like him. The information seemed to come to her so naturally… but before the Percy incident, Annabeth had revealed that especially when she had been younger she usually had had to read the textbooks at least 5 times before she had finally absorbed what she had read. Later on, with the help of a teacher that actually understood her learning disability, she had learned some other methods that seemed to help her. One side of Calypso thought that it was relieving to see Annabeth show signs of weakness because usually she seemed so good at everything she did that it was mildly intimidating.

Soon Calypso realized that she herself had trouble focusing on what the professor was explaining while thinking about what she should tell Annabeth after the class. What could she say that she already hadn’t in the previous time? That she absolutely hated Annabeth’s boyfriend’s guts? That her flatmate made her feel weird things when they were in the same room so there was absolutely no need to be jealous?

Once the lecture was over, Calypso packed her things and gestured to Annabeth that they should have their conversation outside the lecture hall. They were walking silently until most of their fellow students had split into their own directions and found a quiet spot by the windows. There were some armchairs spread around the corridor to make it seem more comfortable and the girls sat down on two of them.

“I take it you may have changed your mind about me,” Calypso said directly once she had settled on her seat, feeling there was no need to tiptoe around the topic.

“I… yeah,” Annabeth started, and for a brief moment Calypso thought she showed a tiny bit of fragility. Suddenly she realized that maybe Annabeth wasn’t being her usual confident self, because she wasn’t that great at dealing with her feelings. Things like maths, chemistry and physics were simple to her because there were certain rules that needed to be applied. But the human mind was harder to read, Calypso knew that much. “Sometimes I think there are two different Annabeths: one that is very protective and jealous when it comes to the people she cares about, and then there’s the rational Annabeth who tries to yell to the other one that she is being ridiculous. I’m sorry. I overreacted.”

Calypso shook her head. “No, I think I can understand why it bothered you. I hate keeping things from you, but I promised to myself… I mean, it is safer to not get you guys involved.”

“But… why? What could happen?” Annabeth asked, folding her arms.

“I’m not going to go to details but my father… I’m sure you have figured out by now that he is not a nice guy. When he doesn’t like someone, or someone tries to get into his way… Good things don’t usually follow that. And I mean it. There is a very good reason why I moved this far from my previous home. To be honest, I would have liked to go all the way to Greece but that just wasn’t possible.”

“So you’re saying that your father is what you’re afraid of? And he could get us - I mean your friends - into trouble if you shared too much information with us?” Annabeth collected the pieces of the puzzle together.

“Basically, yes. But please, don’t ask more. I may already have said too much,” Calypso said worriedly.

“Don’t worry. My lips are definitely sealed,” Annabeth reassured her.

“Thanks.” Calypso hesitated a bit. “Um, can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead,” Annabeth nodded.

Calypso shifted a bit on her seat, trying to get more comfortable. “If I’m honest, I was not expecting you to forgive me that whole Percy thing that easily. What changed your mind?”

“Well, let me just tell you that you have some very good friends who managed to persuade me.” Annabeth gave her a playful smile.

“Huh? Who?” Calypso knew that Piper had talked to Annabeth but she didn’t know there were others as well.

“First of all, Percy convinced me that there was absolutely no reason to be jealous. I’m not going to tell you how he did it, but he can be pretty sweet when he wants to. Besides, between you and me: Seaweed Brain just can’t lie to me. I can read him like a book.” Annabeth’s smile only widened as she said that.

“OK.” Calypso didn’t think she wanted to hear more about that topic.

“But that wasn’t all. Piper also talked to me,” Annabeth added.

“What did she say?” Calypso asked curiously.

Annabeth’s eyes started sparkling mischievously. “A lot of things,” she started, “but she reminded me of some events that happened before Percy’s arrival that evening.”

“I don’t understand you now,” Calypso pretended to be stupid even though she was already guessing where Annabeth was going with her statement. “What events?”

“I don’t know…” Annabeth tapped her fingers against her forehead. “I think hugging, cupcake sharing and flirty bickering was involved. Keyword: think. I guess the people involved know more about that than I do.”

“That was… that was just us being friendly!” Calypso rushed to deny. “And what was so flirty about our bickering? We do that all the time and I’m not trying to…”

“Relax, Cal,” Annabeth stopped her. “It just kind of reminded me of me and Percy. But if you say so…”

Calypso groaned slightly. “Fine, you won. Again. Maybe… I may be starting to like him. But that doesn’t mean anything. He probably doesn’t like me back. And it wouldn’t work out for various reasons. I… When I moved here, I really thought I could just forget about everything that happened in my past and start to live my life. But it turns out that my past is still following me and stopping me from forming functional relationships. Besides… none of my former relationships worked. I may have been a kid back then but I made some bad decisions and it wrecked my self confidence. I don’t want to get hurt again and I also don’t want to hurt Leo. He has a very good heart, despite his weirdnesses…”

“Calypso, I know from my own experiences that ghosts of your past can be hard to fight. I have had plenty of family issues of my own in the past and they have probably influenced my later decisions, I admit that. But you seem to have taken an attitude that you have to deal with it alone. But you don’t. Let us help you. Maybe I can’t speak for all of us but I know I’m not afraid of your father. It is always possible to fight if you just come up with a good strategy.”

“This is probably a weird comment but that sounded like something I’d imagine the goddess Athena say. Are you sure you’re not her? Or related?” Calypso attempted to joke.

“Last time I checked, all of us were regular people,” Annabeth chuckled. “I admit I’m probably not quite as advanced in the greek mythology as you are although I have studied some of it, of course. But your question reminded me of this book series I read as a kid: Peter Johnson and the Olympians. The characters in it were children of Greek gods and I always wished that I’d be like one of the main characters who was a daughter of Athena.”

“Ooh, I read that series too!” Calypso said enthusiastically. “It was kind of cute although now that I know more about history and Greek mythology, not all the characters are quite like I picture them in my head. But I appreciate the effort to make the mythology more known to young readers.”

“Right! I agree.” Annabeth nodded before realizing they had gotten pretty far from the original topic. “Sorry, we got a bit sidetracked here. I seriously do hope that you’ll let us help if needed. I myself am gonna try to be more patient and let you do it on your own terms, though.”

“Thanks, Annabeth. Um, about that Leo part, though…” Calypso felt her cheeks heat again and she wanted to curse her silly mind for reacting like that every time she thought about her flatmate. “Would you please be kind and keep it between us? I just really am not ready to deal with that yet…”

“Fine. I’ll let it be. For now. But maybe think about it. Who knows, you could be surprised by what might happen…” Annabeth said mysteriously.

“What do you mean?” Calypso frowned.

“Like I said, there are people who are ready to help you carry your burden even though you’re too absorbed by your issues to notice that. That’s all.”

“O-kay,” Calypso said suspiciously, wondering what Annabeth’s statement implied.

“You should know that one of the people who talked with me was Leo. He said he had noticed that you were feeling pretty down since the… incident and that you seemed to blame yourself for everything. And that you also felt very bad about not being honest. That’s what really opened my eyes and made me decide that I need to get over my grudge that doesn’t even make sense. I got what I wanted, didn’t I? Logically thinking, you should be the one who’s mad at me.”

“That Leo…” Calypso was so focused on that part for a moment that it took her a while to register what else Annabeth had said. “Um, sorry. To be honest, I think the Calypso from a couple of years ago would have been mad. But my priorities have changed and I also realized that Percy is way happier with you.”

“I’m glad you’re not holding a grudge, though,” Annabeth said.

“Life’s too short for that,” Calypso shrugged.

“I guess so. So, we’re friends, right?”

“Right,” Calypso confirmed, giving Annabeth a genuine smile. Some hope had risen in her heart again and she made a mental note to thank a certain mechanic later at home.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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winryofresembool · 4 years

Text

Things We Lost in the Fire, ch 22

aka Caleo uni au

Chapter summary: Leo Valdez can be sweet when he wants to.

A/N: Sorry for the long break! The holidays were a rather busy time for me so it did good to take some time off from writing. But now I'm back for my weekly updates (at least I hope I am)! And not just with any chapter but a long-ish chapter full of Caleo fluff :) I really hope you guys enjoy! Please let me know what you think because I 100% mean it when I say I love reading your comments!!

Words: 3200+

Genre: romance & hurt/comfort

Warnings: none

previous chapter / AO3

…

Once Calypso had made up with Leo and Annabeth, she had new issues to deal with. When she paid her rent for the month, she noticed that she only had enough money for one more month’s rent, not even including the other living costs such as food, other daily necessities and school supplies. She had pushed back the job hunting earlier partially because the friendship issues had made her feel too low to care about that kind of thing, partially because she had no idea what she could do, only having a high school level education and no special skills. She had only ever worked at her father’s company and that was not something she wanted to advertise in her applications. But now she was in a situation that unless she wanted to return to the very place she wanted to stay away from, she had to come up with something.

Annabeth and Piper had seen some of the clothes and other items she had sewed and made with her own hands and encouraged her to sell them but Calypso herself wasn’t entirely convinced they were good enough to be sold. She was also a decent enough artist but with a class full of artists just as good (some even better) than her, what would make her stand out in the public? Her people skills weren’t amazing either so she doubted that she would make a good retail worker. But she knew she would probably have to come out of her comfort zone in this case, so if anyone was willing to hire her, she’d accept it.

She was startled when she suddenly heard a familiar voice from the other room: “Sunshine, I’mma head out to buy some groceries and stuff for a new project. You need anything?”

In some other situation, Calypso would have been thankful for the offer, but she was still feeling like a nervous wreck because of her earlier discovery. That’s why the words escaped her before she could stop herself: “Huh? No, I don’t think so? And I can still buy my own groceries, thank you very much.”

“Sorry, I just thought I’d ask… I didn’t mean to…” Leo seemed a bit baffled by her outburst. He was already about to head out when Calypso came out of her room and stopped him.

“No, I’m sorry.” She sighed, looking regretful. “I was just on the edge because I just noticed my financial situation isn’t exactly the best… But that is something I need to figure out on my own, I don’t want charity.”

“Well, I wasn’t gonna buy you a car or anything,” Leo tried to crack a joke. “Just thought that if you’re running out of milk or something, I could have saved you the trouble… Since I’m going there anyway…”

“Oh… no, I don’t think I need anything,” she said, this time a lot softer. “But thank you for asking.”

“No prob, Sunshine,” Leo replied, looking relieved now that he knew she wasn’t actually angry at him. “But hey, if you do need help with, like, searching for a job, or something, I’m your man.”

Calypso tried to keep her face neutral even though she had a feeling her cheeks were probably red. “I’ll… keep that in my mind.”

“Well, see you soon,” Leo said after the two just kept staring at each other for a while. He seemed to be sizing her, possibly still a bit thrown off by her weird reaction before he put his coat on (Calypso noticed it was the same shade of red as a lot of his shirts seemed to be. And it was also rather snugly fit, definitely not a bad sight, she thought before she had time to stop herself) and took his bags, leaving her alone.

“See you,” she said quietly when the door was already closed.

Once sure that Leo was far enough and not coming back, Calypso leaned her back against the wall of her room, sliding down into a sitting position on the floor. Throwing her head back, she groaned at herself. She had thought that the small falling out they had had because of the Percy incident might have affected her feelings towards Leo, but it seemed to become clearer and clearer every day that wasn’t the case. Even if she had admitted to Hazel and Annabeth that those feelings were not quite flatmate like, it was a whole different thing to really come to terms with that fact. She was falling quite hard.

The more she thought about it, the more she freaked out. Her relationships before one faithful day during her teenage years had failed badly (and that was over 5 years ago anyway) and the online dating she had done afterwards… Well, now that Calypso thought about it, only the conversation with Percy had seemed to be going somewhere. All the people she had cared about had left her and never come back. That, along with the fact that she had spent a lot of time alone in the past, had left her scared of relationships and ruined her self esteem, making her think that she simply wasn’t good enough. If Leo left too… she wasn’t sure how she’d handle that. Not to even mention, her dad was still probably looking for her and getting Leo mixed into that would be very dangerous for him. No matter what Annabeth said about wanting to help.

Biting her lip, she decided there was only one option. No matter what she felt, she should try to treat Leo just like any of her friends and conceal her true feelings. Having Leo in her life just as a flatmate was way better than not having him in it at all. When she remembered her friends’ hints that perhaps Leo himself wasn’t as indifferent to her as he probably should be, she suddenly felt like crying. In different circumstances… maybe they could be happy together, go on dates, hold hands… Now she would inevitably have to let him go when someone else would realize that Leo was a great person worth dating.

Calypso didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, and she also hadn’t noticed that there were tears running down her cheeks. She didn’t snap out of her daze until she heard the front door clunking again, this time indicating that Leo had already returned.

“Please just ignore me…” Calypso ranted in her head, but no luck. She heard steps from outside her room, stopping right in front of it. Swiping her wet cheeks quickly into her hands, she stood up from the floor just in time for Leo to knock on her door. Calypso didn’t really want to open it when she was in that emotional state but she knew that not answering would raise even more questions. Her messy looks she could always try to shrug off as a ‘bad day’, she decided.

“Yeah?” she asked weakly, opening the door to reveal her flatmate with that stupid trademark grin of his on his face. He seemed pretty happy about something he had or was about to do. The late autumn wind had made his curly hair even messier than usual and his cheeks were red from the cold weather and the exercise but his eyes were sparkling excitedly, like he couldn’t wait to show her something. He started: “I went to the hardware store and…” He quickly stopped when he noticed Calypso’s expression and puffy eyes. His happiness immediately melted away. “Hey, what’s wrong? Have you been crying?”

“It’s been a rough day,” Calypso sighed, looking down. “Don’t worry, I was just being overwhelmed by the loads of uni work before the exam season. And like I told you before, I need a job… But… it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Alright, if you’re sure…” Leo narrowed his eyes slightly, probably sensing that she wasn’t telling him the entire truth. “But yeah, I was gonna give you something. Hope it cheers you up a bit. He handed her a tiny packet of what seemed like flower seeds but before Calypso had time to read the text on it, he started explaining.

“So, I was gonna tell you that I went to the hardware store to buy me some supplies, and you know how they sell all kinds of seeds there as well? Well, I just happened to notice these while waiting for my turn to pay for my stuff and I just randomly decided to buy them.”

“But… why?” Calypso asked, finally looking at Leo directly.

“Um…” He started rubbing the back of his neck. “Remember when Festus jumped on your desk and broke it? There was a plant on it too… and I never replaced it. When I saw those,” he nodded towards the packet Calypso was holding, “I remembered that the plant looked like that… At least I think it did… I’m no good with that kind of stuff… But I know you care about your plants… so I thought it’d be only fair if I got you those. I know it’s not gonna be the exact same one you had, but…”

Leo didn’t manage to finish his sentence because Calypso couldn’t contain her feelings anymore. She closed the space between them and hugged him even tighter than the time they had had a game night with Jason and Piper. No one had gotten anything for her in years, and even if the seed bags didn’t cost much, it was the thought that mattered way more to her. She had never expected him to remember such a detail from several months ago when they hadn’t even been friends, but apparently he did.

“Uh, Cal, some air would be nice,” Leo said jokingly when it started seeming she didn’t even want to let him go. He didn’t attempt to break the hug, though, instead gently stroking her back. “Wow, Sunshine,” he said in an attempt to lighten the mood, “You’d think I bought you a house based on your reaction.”

Calypso raised her head from his shoulder, giving him a half hearted glare as she broke the hug.

“I’m not allowed to be thankful for a gift? You don’t know… You don’t understand…”

“Understand what?” Leo raised his eyebrows.

Calypso took a deep breath before answering. “I haven’t gotten gifts from anyone since I turned 16. And even then it was just… uh, never mind. The point is that I’m not used to such nice gestures… And I didn’t think you’d remember… It was my favorite plant. So excuse me if I’m feeling a bit emotional because your gift was more thoughtful than you probably realized.”

“OK, sorry,” Leo apologized quickly. “If you’re not used to nice gestures, I’m not used to displays of affection so I got a bit surprised, that’s all… Well, either way, I’m glad I got you something you care about.”

Calypso’s expression softened again. “Yeah. Thank you. I’m sure they will look pretty.”

Suddenly Calypso realized she was feeling a little dizzy, not sure if from the crying or from the smell of the mechanic oil she had just smelled on Leo’s shirt as she had hugged him. Sitting down on her bed, she leaned her face into her hands.

“Um, are you really OK?” Leo asked. “I know it’s not any of my business, but… if I can help you somehow, let me know.”

After a while, Calypso looked up from her hands, having half expected Leo to leave already. “If you happen to know anyone who’d be willing to hire an inexperienced, uneducated young woman, sure, be my guest,” she muttered.

“Hey.” Leo sat down next to Calypso on her bed, nudging her arm slightly. “Where’s the Calypso who has told me to fight my fear? I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who’d be willing to hire you if they knew how talented you are.”

“Wait… what?” Calypso wasn’t sure if she had heard right. Even if they had been friendly towards each other for a while now, she didn’t remember Leo complimenting her like that before. “Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true!” Leo exclaimed, his eyes gleaming fiercely the same way Calypso had seen a couple of times earlier. “You are a talented person and even I can see that. You can draw and paint – I bet you’d do way better blueprints for machines than I do. To be honest, I’d probably hire you to do that if I could. You create a lot of things with your own hands – like that one dress you wore the other day, right? Like, OK, I wear overalls all the time so you can take my opinion with a grain of salt, but I thought it looked neat.”

“But…”

“But there are other things as well,” Leo continued persistently. “You know a lot and you’re always working on something – if not something university related, you take care of your plants or bake or something like that – and I think under that hard cover of yours you’re actually a super caring person. I dunno, those are things that at least I value. But maybe I’m the weird one here.” He rolled his eyes as if everything he had just said had been very obvious.

“Leo…” Calypso just stared at him with wide eyes, not finding the right words. She hadn’t been emotionally prepared for Leo showering her with compliments. If her cheeks had felt warm earlier, they were definitely burning now, and her eyes felt weird too… like she was going to cry again. “I…”

“Shhh. Crying doesn’t suit you, Sunshine. Luckily Uncle Leo is good at bad jokes that make the ladies laugh. How about this: What do you give to a sick lemon? Or… why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife?”

“Leonidas,” Calypso repeated but this time she did it with an annoyed groan. That was apparently what Leo had wished, though, because he grinned at her in return.

“Alright, I won’t finish that one!” he raised his hands up. “But it did work because there’s still some spice left in you. That’s what I wanted to see.”

“You’re the only person I know who can literally go from 100 to 0 when trying to cheer someone up,” Calypso said, but her mouth twitched. “But thanks. As much as I hate to admit it, I think it might have worked. For your information,” she added unexpectedly, “you give lemon aid to a sick lemon and the astronaut needed his space.”

“I think my job here is done,” Leo said approvingly, taking one step closer to her. Calypso had seen his brown eyes sparkling when he was happy and burning when he was mad but now she thought they seemed soft and warm, unlike she had seen before. And her heart skipped a beat when she registered that the reason for the warmth might have been… she herself. He looked at her right in the eyes and brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear before his fingers moved to her face. He brushed some of the wetness off with his thumb and for one, short second Calypso thought that he also wanted to do something else… touch her jaw, her lips… But that moment ended fast when he cleared his throat and pulled his hand away. One, tiny part of Calypso’s brain yelled: “no!” while the rational part tried to be relieved.

“Um… You had something there…” Leo tried to brush his previous actions off. “Anyway. Like I said I have no doubt someone wouldn’t hire you. But now that I think of it, I remember hearing from my moms that one of their friends is looking for a holiday helper at her flower shop that is quite near Waystation. The holidays are always a busy time there and the owner’s daughter, who has usually been the one helping, has moved away, so they could really use an extra hand.”

“A flower shop?” Calypso asked, hope starting to flicker in her eyes. “Do you think they may have a lot of applicants?”

“Who knows.” Leo shrugged. “I think it might be a pretty popular place… but you can’t win if you don’t try, huh?”

“Yeah. You’re right,” Calypso agreed. “Do you know how I can contact the place?”

“Hold on for a moment. I can call Emmie and ask,” Leo said and left Calypso alone in her room, baffled by what had just happened but also a bit hopeful. Maybe at least something would turn out right even if her social life would probably continue to be a mess.

A few minutes later Leo returned with a piece of paper in his hands and a satisfied expression on his face. It told Calypso that he had managed to get the number.

“Here you go, Sunshine! Hope you’ll still remember me and how I helped you when you become rich and famous.” He winked.

“I know I’ve told you this before but you really are a weirdo,” Calypso shot back but took the piece of paper gratefully. She excused herself to make a phone call and managed to get a hold of the owner of the flower shop who suggested a meeting for the next day. After finishing the phone call, Calypso searched for Leo who had withdrawn into the living room to watch a movie.

“So… I’m going to have an interview with the owner tomorrow,” she told him. “Keep your thumbs up that it will go fine. I’m kind of nervous, to be honest.”

“I’d keep even my big toes up if needed but I think you’re gonna do great,” Leo noted. “For reals. Have some faith.”

“Easier said than done,” Calypso sighed. “You probably understand.”

“I… yeah,” Leo admitted, thinking about one moment only about a week earlier when he had felt like nothing would work out. “But for what it’s worth, there are people who do support you.”

“You too?” Calypso asked carefully even though she was a bit scared of his answer.

“Yeah, me included.” Leo nodded.

“Listen, Leo… Thanks… for everything you’ve done for me today. Not just the seeds and the phone number, the emotional support too. It really helped.”

She surprised even herself by leaning closer to Leo and giving him a quick peck on his cheek. He went completely speechless and just rubbed the spot on his cheek Calypso had kissed absentmindedly as Calypso waited for him to say something.

“Uhh… you… you’re welcome?” he finally stuttered when Calypso had already started thinking she had crossed some line with the cheek kiss and they were back on square one.

“I should probably go back to do some research…” she said. “I’ve had a hard time focusing on anything lately but I’m feeling better now so hopefully I will manage to make some progress with some assignments. Have fun with your movie!” She attempted to sound cheerful even though the two sides of her brain were having an intense battle in that moment. One said: ‘why don’t you just stay with him? The assignment can wait!” while the other side wanted to run from that situation before Calypso did something she would regret.

“Alright… Thanks. And good luck with that!” Leo said. Calypso was convinced that she just imagined it but to her he had seemed just a bit disappointed that she hadn’t joined him. When she was back in her room, she exhaled sharply. So much for that ‘being just friends’. She would really have to start working harder on that before someone got hurt.

#caleo #leo valdez #calypso #heroes of olympus #percy jackson and the olympians #trials of apollo #my fics #caleo uni au

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