#Devi has never looked at anyone the way she looks at Ben

[jancysmixtape]

Benvi has always been the main ship from the very beginning. Devi’s feelings for Ben always being the most clear, whenever Ben showed genuine concern and care for her. Also, all these scenes happening in every season finale, with their story being the main focus.

[ironhusband]

.....Eventually. 

I think the best part of winning as team Ben is never having to deal with team Paxton’s gross ass antisemitic behaviour ever again.

[katzell]

Never Have I Ever Finale Thoughts

I sped through the final seasons of Never Have I Ever and, generally, I liked it. Similar to Ted Lasso, I didn't find the storylines as engaging or the stakes as high as previous seasons. However, I appreciated the portrayal of character growth and healthier decisions. It was great to see Devi be in a place to trust her therapist and herself and try to do the work to let go of her anger and be more thoughtful about her relationships with her friends, family, and romantic partners. The show was still at its best when it tackled Devi's relationship with her mother. (I cried.) I loved seeing her grow into a person who would try, in her own teenage way, to look after her mother's feelings and needs.

I do feel like there is a teen show problem with college application and acceptance storylines. Applying to college is the biggest, most stressful, awful thing that takes up a great deal of senior and junior year. It can't be ignored. But man do those plots just drag for anyone who has already been through it. Time and distance really clarify that getting into an ivy league school really has so little bearing on a person's success or happiness. If anything storylines hung up on prestigious brand name universities reproduces classist ideologies. I can feel myself getting ready to rant about academia, so I'll edit this down to say, I found the Princeton stuff boring. I have literally lived through the best friend gets your dream school storyline, and it wasn't that big of a deal then or now. The most honest part of that plot was Devi seeing her upperclassman idol burn out in the transition to college.

Like Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, I don't think who Devi picked to date is the most important part of her journey. The love triangle pretty much resolved itself after season 3. The show never played coy with who Devi really wanted to date. Devi and Ben have a fun dynamic, but I foresee more tumultuous times ahead as the two of them continue to work on their emotional intelligence. I think by the end of series four, Devi does have a pretty strong sense of self. She's more comfortable with her desires (sexually, platonically, academically) and isn't trying to change herself into someone else. Ben, on the other hand, continues to have a lot of growing to do. I wish we had spent more time in the final season on Ben's friendships with other people. I think that is the relationship Ben craves and I hope that in college he really is able to have that and doesn't spend every weekend away from Columbia visiting his girlfriend. Paxton also continues to figure out what he wants. I appreciate how his journey was about learning to accept failure and learning to motivate himself to try again. I hope he does become a teacher and a coach. In ten years time, I hope he has a weekly trivia team made up of other teachers, all nerds, who kill at the local bar.

I've been shockingly (for me) ambivalent about who Devi dated at the end of the series. I love to ship! I love to pick sides. But I do find the idea of an "end game" ship when the characters in question have never had to file their own taxes a little ridiculous. (Unless you are Pacey and Joey) With that said, I think the couple I'd be most interested to explore years in the future would be Devi and Paxton. Devi and Ben are on parallel journeys, they aren't that far out of each others orbits. They will always make sense. But bringing Devi and Paxton back to a place where they could consider each other as romantic partners would take way more work and set up. And I for one would love to read that.

[thefabulousfab-3]

Lately, I've been seeing way too many arguments about why Ben and Devi wouldn't be a good couple or why they shouldn't be endgame, and to be perfectly honest they are all stupid. So here is my long rant debunking all of those arguments.

1.”They are too much alike, their personalities are too similar”

 First of all, having similar interests and goals is not “being exactly alike”. It means you are compatible. They may share some personality traits but that doesn't mean they have the same personality.

Devi is accurately described as “Hotheaded” and a “Firecracker”. She is the one to have somewhat explosive outbursts (see throwing the beaker, throwing the textbook, ect). Even though she has grown a TON this season she still gets fired up (in a good way, I love her hotheaded tendencies)

Ben on the other hand could be described as someone with a “coolhead” (is that a term? idk it is now), we have literally never seen him have any sort of angry outburst. The few times we have seen him angry, he still managed to keep his cool. In fact we have seen him be the voice of reason to try to calm Devi down when she is having one of her “outbursts”.

Example: Ben pulling her aside to tell her she shouldn’t get emancipated and that she should make up with her mom.

(Also opposites attract doesn't mean that two completely different people will work together. Got to have some common ground)

2. “They are way too competitive with each other” 

WHEN???? Show me a time, post relationship, where they have been even remotely too competitive with each other. Oh wait you can’t. In fact we have seen them work really well together as a team (see the debate tournament)

3. “They argue too much”’

BANTERING IS NOT THE SAME THING AS ARGUING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BANTERING IS NOT THE SAME THING AS ARGUING!!!!!!!!!!!

Ben and Devi have been through an incredible amount of growth and have both matured a TON this past season. We have literally never seen them really argue at all this season and even before that i wouldn't call their interactions arguing. They just have flirty friendly banter.

4. “Devi was over Ben when she got with Paxton”

No she wasn’t!!! Are we watching the same show?? Did you not see the whole longing loving looks at the dance?? Devi has literally never fully been over Ben. (she is however fully over Paxton).

In conclusion, there really is no sound argument against Ben and Devi being together. The way they have been set up and built up since season one is pretty much flawless. They have never fully gotten over each other, they have attempted but it never worked. Devi LOVES Ben !!! SHE LITTERALLY GOT STOMACH KNOTS WHEN SHE LOOKED AT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you seen the way that girl looks at him? She has never looked at anyone else like that. She chose Ben at the end of season three because she loves and trusts him. SHE ACTIVELY CHOSE HIM!!!!!!

[justmissg]

Please please talk to me about Daxton. I read a few of your posts about how the complement each other in the best way, and that even though she hooked up with Ben, that doesn’t mean she won’t end up with Paxton. And I feel like you really see just how balanced they are, how far they’ve come.

There are so many small moments, I mean S3 Ep8 ALONE?! Like why did Paxton need to be there? Why did he need to tell her he broke up with Phoebe for someone who challenges him? Why would he need to go up to her room to find her? Like, there are so many moments where Paxton comes into play to either be there for Devi, or hype her up, or make her feel like she isn’t alone.

He understands her. She doesn’t push her to talk when she isn’t ready, and he doesn’t force his feelings on her. He just let’s her be her because he’s the only one that’s really gotten a window into her grief outside her bffs, her fam, and Dr. Ryan.

Idk man, I just…. Can’t get behind Ben and Devi because I see nothing between them except we were mean to each other and now we flirt meanly and somehow we like each other.

Hello!! Thank you so much for sending this to me. I'm sorry it took me so long to reply but work has been crazy and I wanted to take my time responding.

First of all, let me just say that I have been overanalyzing every single moment on the show and I honestly don't see how people were so quick to just dismiss the fact that Devi could end up with Paxton in the end. The show's creators have said how he's in the 4th season as much as in any other season. How they're gonna do that now that he's gone to college? Beats me. But they will find a way/plot/storyline to make it happen.

That being said, I seriously don't get how people have no faith in Devi and Paxton. I mean, he didn't break up with her because he didn't like her, he literally emphasized he liked her moments before ending things. He broke up with her because no matter how much he liked her, how much he chose her, how much he did for her, how much he did because of her, she still put him in a pedestal, and cared so much about the external factors in the relationship, which really shouldn't matter but they are teenagers so they have to go through that phase.

Now, AFTER they broke up, I think people forget that the breakup happened in February, and he started dating Zoe in October-ish, that is freaking 7-8 months! This was a guy who had never really properly dated ANYONE, stepped up to the game to be the nicest boyfriend ever, and was still looking out for her and her feelings! Like we get the sad/longing/jealous stare he gives her when she's dancing with Des, we get him comforting her at the reunion at her house, him realizing that he chose to go out with Phoebe because he didn't want complicated but realized complicated was actually worthy, 8 MONTHS AFTER. When anyone would've moved on.

I loved that even before he started dating her, when she was an ass to him, he still worried about her and was there for her. He's really always there for her. He's such a good friend to her, and with that nice friendship as a foundation, he was such a good boyfriend and even ex-boyfriend to her!

There's an interview somewhere that's just Darren and Jaren, and Darren says that he thinks Devi and Paxton make such a good couple because even though they are different they are there for each other and make each other better, whereas with Ben, while he gets that he loves her and stuff, they could drive each other to chaos because how similar and competitive they are. I honestly fail to see other than the longing stares and his occasional niceness, how can Ben and Devi work? Yes, they get each other because they are basically wired the same way, but in a relationship you need balance.

Devi and Paxton just make sense because they make each other better and balance each other out. It is as simple as that. They truly care about one another and they show it. Aside from any romantic feelings they might have, they are also really good friends. He literally thanked her in front of the whole damn school for making him something more than just a hot person, he opened his horizons to many new roads he didn't even think he could consider. Paxton, on the other hand, by breaking up with her, he made her explore her feelings and emotions, figure herself out, and give herself worth. As much as he liked her, he couldn't do that for her, it had to be done solely by her.

The show started with Devi liking Paxton, and threw Ben in the mix because of that thin line between love and hate, it is so easy for feelings to change when you already have an intense relationship with someone, and have done so for years. But I think that being so lonely makes Ben have those feelings, because he thinks Devi is the only one that gets him, but Ben really needs a Margo, who makes him a little bit more conscious about what he says and thinks, and makes him relax a little bit. Ben and Devi need someone to bring them down when they are flying to high or pull them up when they are feeling extra low.

I think the show is going to explore the relationship between Ben and Devi, and make them realize they work better as friends, and Devi will have gone through enough change and learning to a point when she see's herself worthy of the hot, nice, sweet, smart guy. Also, why is it that she would have to "settle" as JM put it in a voiceover on 2x01 when she gets home after spreading her dad's ashes? Why can't the nerdy, cute girl end up with the hot guy for once? Why do we have to be noble about finding worth on the equally nerdy guy when the hot guy is just as cure and nice and worthy, just because he's hot? Paxton's whole storyline is basically how he's more than just a hot guy, and she was the first one to see that! I hate that after that emotional talk between Nalini and Devi that she says Devi is enough and is not too much, I think Paxton see's that. He knows who she is, her "social status" which brings so much shame to Devi, her insecurities, and he still cares for her, he likes her for who she is. Honestly, I feel like they will end up together, I think it's the only thing that makes sense in my head. I rambled way too much I'm sorry but it was hard to put all the ideas in my head into coherent words, but I hope I made sense!

Also, anytime you want to chat hmu! I might take a little while to respond but I will respond :)

Again, thank you for asking! <3

[justaniche]

Hey! I’m dying for more Daxton. I seriously can’t wait for season 2. Can you write something about Nalini realizing Paxton is good for Devi? Like he takes care of her/protects her and helps her deal with her trauma

Thanks!!

Hi!

omg let me say first, anon, thank you for this ask. youre the first person to take me up on my offer to write stuff for you so thank you again.

A little bit about this writing piece before I actually show it to you, there was a point when I was writing it when I wasn’t sure if it was going to reach 1K words but there was a point where the words just start to flow and I can proudly say it is 2.1K and that is not a lot but based on what I thought it was going to end up being it has come along way. and this is one of my first-ish never have I ever work of writing. I think it’s the first I’ve written entirely off the top of my head. My other ones are either not posted or it’s my work inspired by the episodes and its just everything through Paxton‘s point of view so it’s a bit different.

this is getting sort of long so anyway, without further ado. here it is. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think and if you like it please feel free to send me another!

Nalini had just about had it. The day’s raging dumpster fire began with traffic that resulted in her being late to work. If that wasn’t bad enough, a patient she saw a couple days ago came back complaining that her treatment caused a breakout. After a follow-up, she discovered the patient hadn’t changed any of their habits despite her advice! So was it really the treatment, or the fact that they don’t wash their face? All that suffices to say when Nalini got home she was already on a very short fuse. Kamala was out for school and let her family know she wouldn’t be home for dinner so it was known by both Devi and Nalini that they would be cooking without her today. Nalini gave Devi specific instructions so that, regardless of how late her day ran, they could have dinner at a reasonable time. Devi did not follow those instructions. Nalini came home to the door unlocked, closed but unlocked, the house a mess, and Devi’s part of dinner not made. No matter how many breaths she took, Nalini was mad. No, mad didn’t quite cover it. She silently walked up the stairs, hell-bent on seeing what caused this disaster, and if she didn’t like the reason she planned to riff for the rest of the night. But approaching Devi’s door she found it ajar. She peeked inside, and that's where she found them.

After winning his swim meet, Paxton was on top of the world. The school day had been what it tended to be, light. Filled with class and hanging with his friends in the hotpocket. But that was hours ago. It was early evening when he saw her, Devi Vishwakumar, they had sort of become friends over recent weeks but given the up and down nature of their relationship, Paxton was always very aware of her. Devi had a way of grabbing Paxton’s attention. He was always trying to figure her out. Of course she made a hell of a first impression, first couple of impressions actually. Devi was sorely different from anyone else in his circle and Paxton wasn’t yet sure how he felt about the sudden invasion. He pretended he didn’t but after unintentionally watching her Paxton began to notice Devi’s change in mood sometimes. Like right now, from where Paxton was he saw the set of her shoulders. The tension was apparent as Devi stalked across the school grounds. Confusion flooded Paxton’s mind and before another thought could register, he was jogging towards her.

“ Hey, Vishwakumar, wait up! ” He called towards her but she didn’t stop

Devi cast a look over her shoulder, her voice was muffled when she spoke, “Uh, Hi Paxton, I can’t talk.” her voice cracks, “I’m in a bit of a rush.”

Paxton slows down for a second as he takes in the situation, Devi speeds up.

“Are you okay?”

Devi breaks into a dead sprint and Paxton doesn’t think, he just follows.

Devi was doing okay. Today was harder than most for a reason she couldn’t name but Devi was making it through. That was until last period art class. The teacher gave a simple assignment, and that was to paint your happiest memory. Immediately when the words left his mouth, a memory came flooding into Devi's mind like a tidal wave.

Devi was 8 when her father convinced her mother that going to a Californian beach as a family would be an adventure. Devi barely remembers the build-up, it was a haze of packing sandwiches and equipment. Leaving the house, only to discover something had been forgotten. A car ride that seemed to stretch into forever. But the beach was magnificent. At least it was in Devi’s memory. It was a gloomy day, the threat of rain looming, so the beach’s visitors were far and few in between. Devi remembers that feeling of warm sand under her feet. She remembers those first fragile steps into the tide, only to rush back as the ocean crashed forward chasing her back to shore. She could see her mom, in the distance, setting up their makeshift camp for the day. She was more content watching her family than participating. The ocean was vast and blue and terrifying. Devi could not urge herself to take more than a few steps. Devi doesn’t know how her dad saw her distress but it was like he could read her mind. He grabbed her and lifted her high then settled Devi on his shoulders. He insisted that she was safe there, she was too high for the ocean to ever reach. He held her hand as he walked slowly but confidently further into the waves. He stopped just as the water kissed her mid-calf but it was enough. From way up here, with her father by her side, the ocean wasn’t anything to fear, it was something to marvel at.

Devi had a firm picture in her mind of her happiest memory and it was her family’s adventure at the beach. But Devi couldn’t make a move to make this image a reality. Sadness crept up on her and got a vice grip on her heart. Her vision blurred and she couldn’t breathe. How had she ever breathed before? Was it always this hard? The bell rang, signaling the end of the day but Devi was on autopilot. Eleanor and Fabiola felt miles away, whenever they’d focus in the daze of her mind, the grip on her heart tightened and dragged her back to darkness. Devi doesn’t know if she said goodbye to her best friends,

She blinked, band began

She inhaled, band was over

She stood, the sun was setting

She gazed, the stress stiffened her movements as she walked around campus. Where was she headed?

Devi was desperate for light, for clarity.

“ Hey, Vishwakumar, wait up! ” The sudden noise broke the muddle, if only for now, she was again aware of the devastation and loss weighing on her mind and on her heart.

She recognized that voice and it was getting closer, she glanced over her shoulder. Paxton, no no no, she didn’t want anyone to see this least of all her newest and most popular friend, “Uh, Hi Paxton, I can’t talk.” Why was her voice cracking? “I’m in a bit of a rush.”

Devi finally knew where she wanted to go as she increased her speed.

“Are you okay?” Paxton’s question was the final straw, she couldn’t stop her tears and they fell uncontrollably past her cheeks. Paxton was going to catch up, and Devi was crumbling by the second. So Devi did the only thing she could. She ran, ignoring the echo of the beating steps behind her.

Nalini could hardly comprehend the scene playing in front of her. Devi, her only child, her entire world, looked so small folded up on the floor in front of her bed. Devi was always so strong, with a personality larger than life. She always seemed bigger than her stature, always taking up more space. Nalini's anger from the day deflates, leaving no trace it was ever there to begin with. Nalini tears her eyes away from the form of her daughter to take in the room. It was dark but the other figure inhabiting the room was clear as day. Paxton sat before Devi, his body language soft. He had one hand on the arms Devi wrapped around herself as he spoke to her gently. Paxton’s volume was soft as a whisper, any louder would shatter the delicate atmosphere. Witnessing this scene felt like a secret and the longer Nalini stood there the guiltier she felt. Devi never expressed emotions this deeply to her. Everyday problems with her friends or tests or Ben Gross, yes. But Devi never shared this.

Nalini's mind was going a million miles an hour as he crept back down the steps and began cooking dinner. She knew Devi would refuse but she needed to have something ready, just in case. When everything was mostly done, she was quiet as she moved around the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the meal. Nalini knew he was trying to walk silently but she still caught Paxton as he descended the steps. Nalini kept her back to him as she called, giving Paxton an out if he needed.

“Paxton?”

“Um...yes, Hi Mrs. Vishwakumar” at the acknowledgment, Nalini felt comfortable enough to turn around.

Paxton was standing in the doorway, shuffling in obvious discomfort. What he expected her to say she didn’t know. Gods, neither did Nalini. Questions flew through her mind faster than she could catch them. She didn’t want to ask him about what happened, Nalini wanted Devi to share when, if, she was ready. Nalini realized, amongst these questions, that she didn’t know Paxton. Here was this kid, late in the evening comforting her daughter. She couldn’t even be upset that they were home alone when she recalled how broken Devi looked. All Nalini had done thus far was judge Paxton, he looked like a jock so she thought him dumb. She made these assumptions about him, that he’d peak in high school or that he was shallow or that he was a walking STI, but they were just that. Assumptions. This kid stayed with her daughter for she didn’t even know how long, she’d been cooking for close to an hour so it was at least that.

All these guesses and judgments were useless when she stood in front of him. Paxton had a rigid set to his limbs, Nalini thought it was probably from sitting in one position for so long, and he was still dressed in gym clothes. Paxton looked new in Nalini’s eyes and she regretted never wanting to know him before now. Nalini didn’t know where to begin, she wondered if he’d eaten.

“Would you like something to eat?” Nalini's silent prayer must’ve been heard because he accepted. She was being given another chance. She quickly worked around the familiar space, grabbing one of the good containers and piling more food than necessary, successfully straining the unyielding plastic. She was handing the meal over when she paused, they both had a hand on the object between them but Nalini couldn’t let go, not yet.

“Thank you, Paxton, really, I don’t know what happened and I won’t ask but I saw what you did for Devi.” Paxton had the decency to look a little shocked. He hadn’t heard anything. Paxton was too absorbed before. His mind was a broken record repeating only, Devi.

The moment shatters when the front door opened, “I’m home!” Kamala’s voice fills the silent home. With the trance broken, Nalini’s hold on the container falters and she drops her hand allowing Paxton to leave. Words were failing him so all Paxton could give was a tightlipped smile in response.

“Thanks for the dinner.” Paxton’s smile was looser now and that gave Nalini courage.

Kamala was unloaded the day around her but Nalini was focused on making this right, “You’re welcome to come by Paxton, anytime.” She could only hope Paxton knew just how much she meant those words. His smile was burdened but bright, he nodded strongly and then he was out the door.

Kamala was fixing the table for a very late dinner when she called for Devi to join, Nalini hoped she would. “Who was that? And why was he here so late?” Pure curiosity laced Kamala’s voice.

“Paxton is one of Devi’s friends. He’s a good kid.”

Those details were all she could provide before Devi came bouncing down the steps. Nalini couldn’t be sure if it was the fact of what she saw or reality but Devi’s movements looked heavier than they normally were.

“What’s up guys?” Devi’s voice feigned casualness, “Dang mom, isn’t it late for a thousand-course meal?” She questioned as she took in the lack of clear surfaces on the dinner table.

Nalini just brushed it off, indicating for everyone to take a seat. “So how was everyone’s day?”

Nalini wasn’t looking for Devi to share but this was her family. She would always want to hear how they were, plus it was tradition. As they consumed insane amounts of food they were bound to regret eating this late at night, everything felt so normal and easy. But something had shifted in Nalini today and even though it was new and she was scared to death of this person entering Devi’s life with the propensity to hurt her. Nalini can’t say she minded too much because it was Paxton. He had proven himself worthy of a chance, and Nalini wouldn’t soon forget it.

[thebeautysurrounds]

THIS CONTAINS SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR NEVER HAVE I EVER S2 READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

This is quite long I had a lot to unpack.

Since watching the 2nd season of Never Have I Ever a few things have been bothering me about the way people are reacting to Devi, and the show overall but mostly Devi. First of all she’s what a sophomore in high school? and she’s doing this all while being the only brown girl (up until kinda the middle of S2) and still dealing with grief and having absolutely no idea who she is yet. To me outside of being an honor roll student she is not doing things FOR HER she is doing this to appease her mother. Who while she means well pushing Devi to succeed to certain extremes which if Devi shows the slightest behavior of fucking up her mother makes harsh comments instead of understanding Devi is a literal teenager and needs room for fucking up.

Is Devi hella unreasonable at times? YES does she often times act strictly on impulse without a second thought…YES. But as a girl who virtually has no one outside of her friends who also are staring to drift from her and get into their first relationships themselves and have their own activities she essentially is left to navigate the world and her teenage angst alone. While I will give Nalini credit for all the work and time she has put in to not only being a single mother and navigating her own grief but also being a working mother who is a doctor and quite possibly has her own struggles with being a brown women in that filed. My problem lies with her not being able to balance or even let go of a strong arm parenting style that mostly focuses on Devi’s fuck up more than her accomplishments and makes comments on how her fuck ups that haven’t even happened yet. I’m not sure Nalini even realizes Devi is at the very very top of her class because I truly believe (after S1) even though Nalini apologized to Devi Nalini has a ‘hoping for the best but expecting the worst’ attitude when it comes to Devi and that’s in the for front of her mind so much she doesn’t realize Devi goes above and beyond not only for herself but to make her mother proud of her all for her mother to just not acknowledge that.

Now with Devi’s characterization I get where some people are coming from on saying Devi shouldn’t have been “boy crazy” or that they “ruined her character development” but here’s my problem those critiques while valid and your allowed to have those opinions…It’s just not really realistic and let me tell you why like I stated Devi is what a sophomore in high school and she has made it a abundantly clear her parents forbid her to date cause it’s school and extra curriculars only. Which will lead to a good college which thus will turn into a good career. While that’s all well and good. I don’t think y’all realize the FOMO of being in high school and growing up with very strict parents, and wanting to have your first relationship. Wanting to be an actual teenager and not wanting to think about 3-4 years down the line which most teenagers don’t/can’t visualize cause it’s not the right now. Devi wants to have those experiences and there’s nothing wrong with that does she go about it the right way…not exactly but y’all act like YOU have never been a teenager and said and done awful things out of anger or just pure immature stupidity. For the boy crazy part Devi is literally having her first feelings and experiences with boys she has 0 clue what she is doing outside of probably books, tv, movies and what her friends assume they know (even though they mean well) the only person Devi would remotely trusts is gone, and she can’t ask her mother cause her mother would honestly probably shut her down and make her feel guilty for even wanting to start having her first experiences with boys. Y’all have such a warped view of not only real teenagers and high school aged kids but also fictional ones. Y’all are so use to shows having protagonist being awful or starting off kinda okay but then their character turns awful and remains that way. What some of you fail to realize is actual teenagers and “teenagers” in shows can/are VERY morally grey. 

Should Devi have been honest and possibly communicated to both Ben and Paxton that she has some sort of feelings for them both..possibly but Devi is a teenager do you think she is having a in depth analysis and talk with herself (outside of a pros and cons list) about what infatuation versus lust versus genuine connection versus romantic attraction looks like probably not. Let’s also analyze how she literally goes from being in her eyes forgettable to being noticed and even though it’s not talked about in the show explicitly she honestly probably struggles with self esteem/self image issues. To go from being a girl who to her no one cares about/notices to one who is getting the attention of two boys who are in Devi’s eyes attractive in their own right. She is so consumed with two guys ACTUALLY being interested in her that she fails to realize she is/and will hurt them both, Do I think Paxton is genuinely attracted to Devi…maybe. But I’m still on the fence about their relationship to me in the beginning I felt Paxton felt Devi is just another meaningless high school fling that he will forget about once he gets to college but to Devi here’s this guy who is “popular” very attractive and he pays attention to her is she looking at the semantics of the situation and how Paxton is more than likely just using her and is only engaging with Devi to get a passing grade and to basically give her the superficial experience of a “high school boyfriend” no she’s not she’s looking at it like here’s this guy who is attractive and he wants to be with someone like me. But do I also believe Devi in S1 was using Paxton and then fell for him DEFINITELY but I will give credit to Paxton for trying at a real relationship with Devi and I hope he will try to be more open and honest.

Do I think Ben likes Devi I honestly do, While the insensitive jokes (exchanged between both) should be discussed I think Ben over time started to see Devi as a girl who finally saw him not the rich, annoying, know it all. But in his view Devi and him are on equal playing fields because they are both overly driven smart individuals and when she said yes to going out with him it was probably the first time he felt like a girl saw the real him. While Ben too more than likely struggles with abandonment issues him dating Devi in a way made him feel like this was the first time he could actual be happy about something cause it was something he actually wanted and not something he just did to earn points in others books and impress people he genuinely got something on his own and that he was actually happy not a front he put on. To me Ben’s abandonment issues come out even more than in S1 when he tells Devi why he’s so hurt and it’s the night of the party when she runs after Paxton (who he sees has it all) and Devi doesn’t “choose him” Do I think Ben and Devi should date cause they share some form of the same trauma no. But again Devi is not use and doesn’t even know what to do with the attention of two people. Again is Devi looking at the semantics of her relationship with Ben…No. I don’t think Devi even realizes she’s quite literally hurting two people cause we could also discuss how Ben and Paxton probably have had other flings and relationships without a second thought while Devi having no relationship experiences and this is territory for her and she has no idea what she is doing or how to properly navigate this situation.

I’m almost done with this long ass rant I promise but it’s two more things I want to make light of/point out I don’t think anyone really gives Devi credit for still going to therapy, loosing a parent is unbearable especially loosing one as young as Devi did, especially when you feel the only parent that truly understood and supported you is gone. Devi doing things that are impulsive and unreasonable because she quite literally has no guidance her mother is only consumed with Devi not making the family “look bad” Devi’s grief is so heavy and she feels she’s going at it alone because her mother doesn’t take genuine time to talk to her. Now was Devi “stalking” her mother extremely inappropriate yes for sure but do Nalini and her need to communicate better for Devi to understand that her mother wasn’t dating sure even if Nalini was on a date their should have been communication there. Devi will probably never stop grieving her father hell he literally came to her in a dream to tell her she deserves better when it came to “dating” Paxton and Nalini will probably never stop grieving her husband but she deserves happiness too and I believe if Devi and Nalini were both honest with each other her slowly dating again wouldn’t have been a problem. Another point I wanna make connecting Devi, Paxton, and Ben is they all have this view that the grass is greener on the other side and that’s just not the case. Ben is jealous of Paxton cause he feels he has the “Perfect life” but in actuality Paxton is extremely flawed and honestly insecure his own family doesn’t believe in him and he knows people only like him because he is attractive, while Paxton looks at Ben like this, while annoying Ben is smart, rich, and no one ever questions Ben’s intelligence but in actuality Ben is very lonely and has spent most of his life alone or being raised by other people which has caused him to put on a huge front to people and often times overcompensate in his social life, and Devi looks at other girls like they have it all and have 0 struggles or problems (I.e her views on Anissa) but Devi fails to realize thy also struggle, are insecure, is struggling with mental illness, and don’t have themselves figured out, and Devi is looking at this man her mom is “dating” as if he’s taking something away but In actuality he is experiencing his own losses. All in all Never Have I Ever gets teenage angst and messy problematic morally grey teenagers right and the fact that y’all beg for more “flawed or problematic” characters and when you get them you don’t like that they are just that it’s odd to me it seems like y’all only want problematic characters if it’s how you see fit.

TL;DR: Y’all need to stop acting like y’all weren’t gross annoying and had fuck ups as teenagers y’all should really stop pretending like teenagers in real and some of us as teens didn’t have/engage in relationships that weren’t good but we learned from it while this show isn’t real it shows y’all will scream let people fuck up and let them grow but you don’t actually mean it. Devi is a teenager and requires room to grow she even admits she acts out and is impulsive but y’all act like she’s supposed to have the self awareness of a 60 year old.

[clarythericebot]

devi, ben, & the journey towards self acceptance

this post has 2 arguments.

#1: devi’s relationship with ben demonstrates her journey towards self-acceptance.

#2: devi and ben’s relationship develop when they engage with each other as others (as other people with wants and hurts and needs) instead of vicious mirrors of themselves.

The show clearly establishes that Devi and Ben are very, very similar to each other. They’re both nerds. They’re ruthlessly competitive. They’re socially awkward. They care about social status.

They’re both smart people! They probably know this about themselves.

The interesting thing here is that they hate each other. (I’d actually argue that the hatred is more on Devi’s part than Ben’s; by the time the series starts, it feels more like he’s dealing with a crush buried as deep in his subconscious as Samberg’s Emmy; one which comes out in cruel and immature ways, but still lacks the rancor of Devi’s I wish you were killed by Nazis). And if that’s the case, it’s not much of a leap at all to say that Devi doesn’t like herself very much.

This brings me to a part of argument #2, which is that Devi doesn’t really engage with Ben as another person at all (in the earlier part of the series) but rather more as an extension of herself—either as a static, two-dimensional antagonist in the story she tells in her head (which I think is how he comes across in the first few episodes since we are in her head) or an unflattering mirror that she loathes to look at, reminding her about everything about herself that she despises.

For me, what cinches this interpretation is the MUN episode. It doesn’t register to her that MUN is important to him—she goes on the trip to buy some freedom, and his presence, at least at first, is an annoyance. Later, when she is angry at herself – at her own actions, at what she has done – she channels all her anger and takes it out on him.

No one else in this series gets this particular type of cruelty from her. Devi becomes self-centered and prioritizes herself over her friends; they are collateral damage. Devi pushes her therapist away when she thinks she is going to abandon her. Devi snaps at her mother for terrible things her mother had said (disproportionately, but the inciting incident is still something that her mother said to hurt her).

But Devi hurts Ben when she wants to hurt herself.

However, it doesn’t stay this way. The shift occurs not when Devi finally has a breakthrough with herself but when she realizes something about him.

I think episode 1x06 (“Never Have I Ever Been the Loneliest Boy in the World”) is brilliant and beautiful for many reasons, but a huge one is that we literally get out of Devi’s head. We engage more in the worlds that she isn’t really a part of, the other. The wonderful thing is that by the end of the episode, she gets to do the same.

NALINI: Benjamin, I hear you were on that last-minute Model UN trip to Davis.

BEN: Oh, it wasn't so last-minute for everyone. Some of us spent months preparing for that trip. But Devi came in with no preparation and still became the talk of the weekend.

NALINI: Oh. Really? Why was that?

In this scene, Ben has the perfect opportunity to do what Devi had done—to do what Devi would in his place. He could’ve gotten his revenge on her by spilling to her mom what she’d done in the MUN conference. He recognizes that opportunity. If there had ever been a perfect time to nuke Devi back, this was it.

He chooses not to do it.

BEN: Nothing bad. She just brought a lot of passion to her role as Equatorial Guinea.

Ben stands down. Why? Well—because he is Ben and not Devi. It’s in this episode that we see, for longer and a little more concretely, what the show is hinting at since the beginning: that beneath his high school immaturity and ego, Ben is genuinely kind.

Devi catches a glimpse of that at the dinner table and again when he chooses to be honest and vulnerable with her—choices that she’s only ever made kicking and screaming in the principal’s office.

The essential thing here to note is that Devi has been utterly self-absorbed since the beginning of the season. She hasn’t engaged with anyone’s life but her own, even her best friends’—her shit is bigger than theirs, after all. She’s caved in herself and her own selfish narrative (which is incidentally CS Lewis’ definition of hell).

The unexpected vulnerability, however, is enough to hammer at least a small crack in the cave she’s holed herself away in. In seeing the person that Ben is, in engaging with an “other”, she finally manages to take the first few tentative steps in helping herself—admitting her own mistakes.

Their relationship changes from there on out. Devi’s caustic rancor towards Ben vanishes and she becomes friendlier with him. And Ben, well, he attempts to drunkenly kiss her at his party.

In spite of that hiccup, Devi knows that she can count on him for help when she needs it. She trusts him to say yes when she asks to move in with him and to get her to Malibu on time.

Devi isn’t finished with her character development. Her self-acceptance issues haven’t been completely addressed – it’s now been underlined that a lot of it comes from her mom’s treatment of her as well – but she’s learned, I think, to take a few hesitant steps outside of her own bubble. At the season finale, the person Devi falls a little bit in love with isn’t a terrible mirror version of herself, but Ben Gross—relentlessly challenging and ultimately kind.

[emmanelson]

Chapter 2: Nose Rings and Nightcaps

you guys asked for a follow up chapter so here you go

takes place during 2x04: ...Had an Indian Frenemy

Devi tried not to let Aneesa get under her skin. And for most of the day, she was good at faking a smile or a laugh when she needed to. 

“We still on for tutoring this week?” Paxton had caught up to her in the hallway and Devi attempted to send him a smile.

“Yeah. But let’s go to your house. I think my grandmother has a crush on you.”

Paxton was glancing over at Aneesa and Devi saw red. 

“Saw you talking to Neese. She’s dope. You guys friends?” Not you too, Devi thought to herself in horror. Would Paxton call her Devi 2.0 as well?

“Yeah, pretty dope.” Devi muttered under her breath before turning on her heel and walking away with an eye roll. 

Not wanting things to end on such a bad note, Devi slowly walked back up to Paxton and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Do you want a quickie in the janitor’s closet?”

His pulse sped up as he blinked, staring at her in disbelief. “Aren’t you worried about being late to class?” People had begun to disperse, the hallways emptying as students ran in different direction and they were the only ones left that Devi could see. 

“If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I’ll see you later then.” Just as she was able to make a dramatic exit and turn back to give him a flirty smile, he had secured her wrist and pulled her back towards him. 

“Five minutes enough time?” 

‘If you can last that long.” The two stared at each other, equally cocky expressions forming as they practically ran towards the vacant closet trying not to laugh. 

“So what subject should we start with?” Paxton inquired as soon as Devi situated herself at his kitchen table. 

“Biology?”

“But with History, all you have to do is rap and suddenly it makes sense. Can you do something like that for me with Bio?”

“Look at biology in terms of swimming.” The look Paxton gave her was one of confusion and incredulous. 

“The last thing I want to think about is swimming while I still have this damn cast.”

Devi’s mouth opened only to close a few seconds later as she tried to change the subject, he made a valid point. 

Devi leaned up to an upper level in the pantry and Paxton was pretty sure he stopped breathing for a good minute or two when he saw her bare skin.  

“Are you good having a snack break? Our brains need food as well.”

He felt like shoving her against the door of the pantry and fuck her until her entire body was shaking, but his mouth felt like cotton so he found himself nodding. 

Devi moved further into the kitchen and made her way towards the fridge. She got out the filtered water, placing it on the counter and filled up two glasses before setting it back where it was prior. When she shut the door, her body jolted in response as two strong arms wrapped around her waist and turned her so she was now facing him.

Within the time that Devi had gotten the Britta back in the fridge, Paxton pressed his body against hers so she was placed between the firmness of his body and the sturdy metal of the fridge door. 

“Shouldn’t this wait until after we get through your assignment?” Devi murmured against his lips, exhaling a shallow breath as she fought to curve into his body and let school be damned. 

“Sex is basic biology isn’t it?” His breath was hot against her ear and her knees threatened to buckle out from under her. “A primal instinct. An animalistic urge.” He nipped at her collarbone, teeth and tongue switching off as his hands went underneath her shirt to cup her breasts. 

“Pheromones are detected through the hippocampus.” She shuddered against him as she spoke, the words coming out slowly as she struggled to level her breathing. 

“How do you make biology sound so sexy?” Her lips parted as he let out a low chuckle. She only buried her face against the fabric of his flannel, trying to hide the blush that now painted her cheeks. With his only good arm he lifted up her body and pushed her against the cool metal, an involuntary squeal slipping past her lips as her legs wrapped around his waist. 

“Say something else.”

“Hormones are produced and secreted by the endocrine glands.”

“Why is this turning me on?” Paxton grunted, his throbbing lower region rubbing against her core, only fueling her desires. 

“What can I say? I know what I’m talking about.” She never thought that being smart would lead to this kind of situation. 

“I need to learn how to apply this stuff right?” His voice dropped to a husky tone as Devi once again gulped, her brain turning to mush as her legs began to shake. 

“Where’s Rebecca? Your mom?”

“Work, and my mom is tending to her garden out back. She usually plays 60’s music or listens to Christian audiobooks.”

“So she won’t be able to hear us?” Her fingers toyed with the zipper on his jeans, his hard-on poking through the fabric. 

“Not if you’re quiet enough.” Her eyes widened at the tone his voice now took, it was almost demanding and harsh against her skin, the intensity of his gaze never wavering. 

Paxton almost scoffed at her doe-eyed gaze but then kissed her so he wouldn’t keep feeling like a dick. With that, his jeans dropped and he was pulling her shorts down, her underwear following soon after, the wetness seeping from it was felt on her ankles. 

Soon he was inside her and each time she lifted her hips to meet his, her shirt rode up and the cold hit her back, causing goosebumps to raise on her arms. She didn’t mind this kind of tutoring.

The following Friday, Devi and Paxton were texting back and forth while she sat with Aneesa and Eleanor in her bedroom. 

And they still texted as Devi got to know Aneesa and decided that she wasn’t all that bad after-all. Ben had stomped away from her after she had gotten her nose pierced, Eleanor and Aneesa were probably blocks ahead of her by now and all she wanted to do was sit down on the bench and listen to her dad’s voicemail until the sun came up. She didn’t want to go home, but she knew she couldn’t stay in an abandoned parking lot so she walked until her feet had carried her straight to Paxton’s house.

She had walked, rode by on her bike, and memorized every turn her mom took in the car for so long now that it was basically muscle memory. 

She hesitantly knocked on the door to his garage, and his face came into view as he rubbed his eyes. 

“Were you sleeping? Do you fall asleep in the garage a lot?” She furrowed her eyebrows as she took in his disheveled form. He still looked hot even in a T-shirt and sweats. 

“Nah, I was up playing Fortnite.” The glow from the TV hit Devi’s eyes as soon as she stepped in and he shut the door behind them. “Is that a nose ring?” He took a step closer to her and leaned in, inspecting the new piece of jewelry she was sporting. 

“It looks nice.” Devi was glad it was pitch black outside because she was surely turning beet red. It looked badass actually, but Paxton wasn’t about to be singing her praises just yet. He still felt like he was getting a bucket of ice poured on his chest whenever she came into view. 

“Did you come here for a nightcap or something?” He teased, eyes momentarily leaving hers as he scanned his phone to check the time. It wasn’t too often that she was even out this late, let alone showing up to his place in the middle of the night. 

She slowly leaned up and brushed her lips against his. She kissed him slowly, her lips moving against him as if she was burning and he provided the only source of water available. She wanted to savor it, but at the same time knew she had to stick to their arrangement. 

“Maybe more of a late night booty call?” She cringed at her own use of the word, but it brought a smile out onto Paxton’s face, and she would gladly take the embarrassment if he kept looking at her with that smile, with those eyes. 

“Do you always look this good?” He asked, upon seeing the outline of her skirt, how it was torn at the ends and how he wanted to rip whatever remained so it was off her body. 

“If you’re quiet enough, we won’t wake your parents or sister.” She repeated his words from earlier, a finger coming up to hover over his lips. He was about to ask about school, mention that they usually only fooled around when it had something to do with his grades, but he decided against it. She was here, wanting him, offering up her body to him. In the back of his mind, he briefly wondered if she was having a similar type of arrangement with Ben, but from the cold reception and snarky comments the younger guy was throwing her way, he figured he had gotten the better end of the deal. 

His eyes looking at her up and down, fingers playing with the zipper of her skirt as she pushed his shirt up and over his head. She lightly tugged on his hands, steering him towards the couch and climbing on top of him when they finally landed.  

Paxton was tracing the outline of her jean skirt with his fingers, dipping in and out of her inner thighs and her breath hitched. “Do you this could count as my PE credit?” 

“It does burn a shit ton of calories.” Paxton smirked in reply, moving a piece of hair behind her ear as he kissed any exposed skin he could find and peeled off her tank top. “I’ll write you a note.” Was the only response that he was able to form before flipping them over so she was wiggling underneath him. 

Her name vibrated against her own ear as he came, sweat sticking to their bodies as he slumped against her. He moaned her name in a way that felt like the first time anyone had ever uttered it. She had never heard it sound so beautiful. The tension and anxiety she had been feeling earlier in the evening was gone, replaced with a warmth that spread all throughout her body. 

“I should probably go.” She had checked her phone to see it had blown up with text messages and calls from Eleanor and Aneesa, asking where she was and telling her she needed to come back before her mother woke up. She slid her clothes back on with ease, unlocking her phone to see the full extent of the damage. Paxton only nodded in response as he slipped his boxers back on and stood up. 

“This is what you look like in the morning, after sex might I add?” She gawked, eyes hungrily scanning over his shirtless form. 

“Guess so.” He grinned, he couldn’t help his looks anymore than Devi could help the fact that she was naturally good at embarrassing herself at parties. 

“Not fair.”

“It looks pretty badass by the way.” Paxton complimented, biting his lip as he walked them towards the door. “The nose ring.”

“Thanks.”

“And thank you for the study help today. Or is it yesterday since it’s technically now tomorrow?” A look of confusion set in as Devi let a soft laugh bubble. 

“Thanks for the orgasms.” And before Paxton could search his brain for a reply, Devi had hurried out the door and didn’t even look back to see if he was staring at her retreating form.  

He totally was. 

[evielovebot]

ask no questions and you'll get no lies (chapter 1)

Summary: Right after the Core Four defeat Maleficent at the coronation, King Adam decides the four VKs his son brought are too much of a risk and, overruling Ben, sends them back to the Isle.

Too bad they're not going to just sit still and take it. Even worse for him that they now know there are more options than to work alone and accept the lot they were given in life, and this time, it's personal.

Meanwhile, the AKs are starting to doubt their own parents and aren't content to just follow orders they no longer agree with.

After a few moments, the present crowd slowly started to comprehend what just happened and began to cheer. Even those who had been more than a little against the Villain Kids coming to Auradon were looking at them appreciatively.

Mal was shocked at seeing Audrey, of all people, smiling at her, and thought she might've inhaled some of her mother's green smoke when she saw Aurora doing the same. Queen Leah, at least, wasn't smiling, but wasn't glaring in disgust either. 

By her side, Jay wasn't looking so surprised at seeing Aziz waving at him from behind his parents, both looking confused but in good spirits. He noticed a group of boys excitedly whooping and felt warmer than expected when he realized it has his teammates gesturing at him and Carlos.

The shorter boy wasn't expecting anyone to react like that to them, but seeing them cheer for him felt good. He saw Jane smiling from where she was hanging on to her mother, and heard Dude before he jumped on his arms, and couldn't help but smile disbelievingly.

Snow White was smiling and cheering at someone, and it took a moment for Evie to realize it was aimed at her. The older princess opened her mouth, but whatever she wanted to say was lost when King Beast stepped forward and straightened himself.

"Guards! Take them away."

Everyone quieted down, all eyes turning towards the man. His wife and son included, who stared at him in confusion.

"Darling, please-"

"Dad, that's not fair!"

And then volume picked up again as people started to voice their own opinions. The VKs were once again shocked to hear most of them seemed to be in their defense. 

"You can't be serious!"

"They did nothing! They saved us!"

"They helped us! Leave them alone!"

"You can't do that!"

They recognized Lonnie, Jane, Doug and even Audrey piping in their defense, and they weren't the only ones. But it didn't matter, because Adam Florian the Beast listened to no one but himself. Not even to his son, as everyone saw when Ben stepped closer to try and reason with him, but the first word hadn't even left his mouth when his father interrupted.

"Enough! "

His shout could be better defined as a roar, and the presents went quiet under the deafening volume and the sight of fangs once more protruding from his mouth. He clasped his hands together, and smiled through it.

"You forget, children, that I am still High King. The coronation was interrupted, and it's obvious you aren't ready for such responsibility." The last part was aimed at Ben, said as the Beast picked up the crown and placed it once again on his own head. "I can do as I choose, and it will be fair if I say it is. Trust me, I know what's best for Auradon, and for all of us."

The four friends, tired from weeks filled with nerves and stress, adapting to such a change and feeling pulled in two directions, a confrontation with an actual dragon and the emotional aspect of their choice, took more to process what was happening than normally would. It was only when the guards closed in on them, and one slapped heavy iron shackles on Mal's wrists as her eyes glowed and she started to recite a spell, draining her power immediately, that they realized what would happen. That this was never meant to last, not for them. It was obvious by the way they were approached and restrained that the Beast had been ready to send them back since they arrived. Carlos was saying something, but even he wasn't sure what, and the others couldn't hear him as they were pulled away and the yelling of the crowd drowned it. The last thing they saw before new guards approached them and plunged syringes into their necks were the bright yellow and blue colors of the Auradon flags, standing proud and mocking everywhere their eyes could see as they blacked out.

☆

"If we got the same punishment for being good that our parents did for being bad, does it even matter what we do? Because it looks like we'll be judged and found guilty either way."

Evie looked up at Carlos, and tried not to wince when their eyes met. They'd been back over a week, and anyone who saw them could tell their mothers hadn't been happy about the attempted betrayal that went down at the coronation. There was a purpling bruise over his jaw, his left eye could barely close, and the shadows shaped like fingers around his neck matched the ones around hers and her arms in a grotesque way. She’d been staying in their hideout since the fourth night, when the Evil Queen moved her to her old room and she was finally able to climb out the window and run to the place closest to “safe” on the Isle. Evie had waited every waking hour for someone else to walk in, painfully aware she could not go looking for them in her state; she woke up in the middle of the night to the familiar sound of rocks hitting a metal sign and started crying as an even more familiar head of white hair appeared from the stairs. Carlos was as bruised and bloodied as she had been, but they held each other tight ignoring the sting of their wounds even when they ended up kneeling on the floor and resting against the other. Two hours later, they had helped each other clean up and they were finally talking about the elephant in the room.

"So what do you propose we do? Show them how bad we can actually be?"

"No, not really. Just do what we need to, and forget what they might think. Everyone has obviously already made up their minds about us. Now it's time for us to do what's best for us."

"Where do we start?"

It was impossible to ignore what he was saying, especially with the notable absence of the other two echoing through the hideout. Evie remembered the way Jay looked at them before his father dragged him off, the effects of the drug still weakening them enough that their parents had no difficulty imposing once again their will over theirs. There was nowhere else to go for them, their safe place too far away for them to reach like this. It had been far too easy for Jafar to get to Jay while Cruella and the Evil Queen closed in on their own children. They caught glimpses of the painful hold his father had him in as he literally dragged him by a dislocated arm to make sure he couldn’t tear away even if he regained his strength.

And Mal... Evie closed her eyes to try and forget the terrified look on Mal's face as she faced her mother, in human form again, and realized she didn't have her magic to protect her (to protect any of them). They hadn't seen any of them since. The blue haired witch opened her eyes, and exhaled slowly through her nose. Over a week alone with their parents would be cause of worry under normal circumstances; with the current situation, it was incalculably worse. Carlos and Evie had been able to get away relatively faster and more easily because their mothers had very few henchmen anymore, but Jafar had plenty men that would still listen to him, and Maleficent had the most men working for her other than- Muffling a curse with her hand, Evie looked at Carlos; by his grimace, she knew he had reached the same or a similar conclusion as her.

“We don’t have any other option, do we?”

“Not really, no one else has enough people for it to work.”

“And how are we supposed to convince them?”

A quick glance around the hideout was enough to spark an idea. Evie started to smile, ignoring how it hurt to do so.

“Say, C, do you remember that device you made a couple years back? The one that was meant to 'change things' completely?”

“Which devi- oh yeah, but it barely did anything.”

“Would you say you learned enough in Auradon to try again? If you had the necessary materials.”

She stayed quiet as he mumbled calculations and lists, and saw the answer in the set of his jaw and the rise of his eyebrows before he even lifted his head again. Carlos grinned, and his eyes darkened, and Evie had hope for the first time since they crossed the barrier for the second time.

“We have plenty of work to do, then.”

[invaderhogtwopointohno]

Never Have I Ever: Want Vs Need

I love this series and I love these characters!

So I am going to write about them for a hot second.

So there are a lot of amazing themes going on in this show that makes it incredibly complex and great. But the main theme that I am going to focus on is Devi’s character arc and the importance of Want Vs Need in her personal relationships. And I will fully disclose that Ben is my son and I love him and I want them together so I am #Team Ben all of the way.

Want Vs Need:

Devi is a normal kid going through a serious trauma. She loses her dad in a horrific and completely senseless way. But instead of dealing with her trauma like she should, she runs from it on multiple occasions and finds obsessing over Paxton and the thought of “rebranding” herself is the best way to get over her feelings. Every time she is faced with a major or even minor incident that has her thinking about her dad, she runs away and gets herself into trouble. She uses the excuse that she is hotheaded and impulsive, but she’s really scared and doesn’t know where to put her feeling. She doesn’t even use her journal correctly.

She wants to stop feeling anything when it comes to her father’s death. She wants to stop thinking about it altogether and uses Paxton as her outlet, she allows him to consume her thoughts as a way to stop from facing what she really needs to face: her father is gone and there is nothing she can do about that now. And that all comes to a boiling point when she runs away from home and refuses to spread her father’s ashes on his birthday in the finale.

Paxton is a want- she wants him to be a distraction. She wants him to fit into her idea of what a perfect boyfriend should be. She objectifies him and then is confused when he has feelings and doesn’t just do what she wants. And Paxton has some serious hidden depths that make his character far more complex than he could have been written as.

However... he is a want, not a need. Devi does not need Paxton. Now, that doesn’t mean that she needs a boy to have a fulfilling life. Devi is already completely fulfilled. She just doesn’t realize it. She has a loving mother who looks out for her, friends who care about her and is incredibly smart and academically at the top of her game. She thinks that something is lacking because of the hole that her father left.

What she needs, is Ben. She does not need him as a boyfriend, she needs him as a partner. He challenges her, calls her out on her own bullshit, makes her apologize when she does wrong, and is her equal. Paxton is a good kid and he tries but he is not Devi’s equal. Not that he is stupid, but he hides even more behind his facade than she does. Devi doesn’t need another lie in her life. She needs someone like Ben who is open, and honest and stands next to her as a partner. From beginning- even when they were rivals, Ben was always looking out for her. He continued their rivalry even through her dad’s death as a way to keep her falling into depression.

And Ben needs Devi too. He needs her to keep him grounded and to keep doing little things for him. The sweetest moment between them is when she gave him $5 so he wouldn’t end up with some weird guy at a pizza place, even though she is fully aware that he is super rich. She also is genuine with him and lets him talk about his feelings. He knows that she is going to make fun of him, but not be malicious about it and he can handle her temper better than anyone.

[catty-words]

Why Not Just Anyone Will Get Their Own Narration

Or, the narration meta no one asked for.

Never Have I Ever shifting the POV to Ben Gross for an episode was a pleasant surprise for most viewers—certainly was for me!—and, as a result, I’ve seen/heard the other cast members get asked who would narrate their own POV episode. And as much as I love the speculation, I’ve noticed a pattern in the narration that makes me a) think not just anyone will get a breakout POV and b) appreciate the way Ben getting his own is, not forecasted, exactly, but highlights an internal consistency in the universe that I really enjoy.

To start, let’s take a look at how McEnroe discusses Kamala—the best example of what I mean from the first episode.

Intro: That’s Devi’s cousin Kamala. She moved in after Mohan’s passing to complete her PhD at CalTech. Devi is not a fan.

Later in the Ep: Kamala was expected to have an arranged marriage after she finished her studies abroad, but she felt less than enthusiastic about that idea.

The intro is similar to what most characters get in the first episode—a brief rundown of why they’re in Devi’s orbit and a hint at their main personality traits. And, in addition to this intro being framed in how Kamala relates back to Devi, we get the bit of insight that Devi doesn’t like her. It’s all very much grounded in Devi’s head.

McEnroe popping in during the Vishwakumar family dinner, on the other hand, deviates from Devi’s perspective. Even though Kamala is clearly sarcastic about finding the potential-husband news exciting, it’s also clear that Devi is too self-involved to pick up on this. Instead of frowning sympathetically at Kamala’s clear frustration, Devi excuses herself from the table because Kamala “[doing] nothing and [getting] a full husband in the mail” niggles at her insecurity about being undesirable.

Contrast that with the Ben-centric narration from the episode.

This disgusted reaction, belongs to Ben Gross, Devi’s nemesis. … Ben Gross’s father, Howard, whom he idolized, was a top entertainment attorney in Beverly Hills. This allowed Ben Gross to dine out for years on the fact that Blake Griffin was at his Bar Mitzvah. And he and Devi have been vying for the number one spot in the class every year since first grade.

We learn of his relationship with Devi, but we don’t actually get additional insight to his thoughts and feelings. The fact that his dad’s a lawyer and that Blake Griffin was at his Bar Mitzvah are both bits of common knowledge around the school. If anything, the slightly mocking tone in which this information is delivered makes this bit of narration even more grounded in Devi’s POV rather than Ben’s.

Kamala goes on to get a couple more moments of character-building in the narration that go beyond what Devi notices about her cousin. 1.04 is a prime example (As the aunties praised her, Kamala had a sinking feeling. She didn’t want to get married, but she put on a happy face, like I did at the trophy ceremony when I lost the French Open to Ivan Lendl in 1984).

McEnroe also gives us insight to Fabiola’s inner life—insights that Devi couldn’t be said to know because, even though she concedes that it makes a lot of sense in 1.07, Devi’s clearly finds Fabiola’s coming out to be a revelation.

1.03: As a scientist, Fabiola was used to a clear-cut, data-driven life. Which is why she was struggling with these new, complicated emotions.

1.05: We’re gonna jump ship and check in on Fabiola, who has much more interesting things going on. Fabiola had told no one she was gay, except her robot, Gears Brosnan. She knew the next logical step was to come out to some humans, specifically her family.

McEnroe even makes it explicit that we’re leaving focus on Devi to tune into Fabiola’s life in the episode-five narration.

The narration over scenes involving Ben in these episodes, on the other hand, goes like this.

1.03: What made Devi most sad wasn’t seeing Paxton all over the hottest girl in her grade. It was that she let herself believe she actually had a shot with him. … Drunk and rude, Devi was indulging in what I would call self-destructive behavior.

1.05: Years ago, Devi and Ben split all extracurriculars down the middle, except for sports, which required too much locker room nudity for either of them. // Devi was panicking. How did Ben find out about her lie? Simple. Her friends told him.

In 1.03, even though Ben is present, the narration over the scene is all about Devi. If anything, Ben interjects into/interrupts the discussion of Devi’s mental state, and she promptly ignores him in favor of being “self-destructive.”

And even though we get the insight that Ben isn’t comfortable with locker room nudity, it’s—again—something Devi obviously knows/intuited because of the pact.

The second bit of narration I included from 1.05 tells us something Devi doesn’t know—that it was her friends who told Ben about her lie—but rather than being a special insight to Ben’s POV, it’s simply expository. An in-case-you-forgot bit of narration.

The only other bit of narration involving Ben after 1.06 comes in the final episode of the season, where McEnroe sets up another in-case-you-forgot exposition flashback, which makes me curious to know how McEnroe-provided narration involving Ben might evolve for season two.

Eleanor and Nalini land somewhere in an ambiguous middle in terms of McEnroe knowing their inner thoughts and feelings.

For Eleanor, the only bit we have to go off of comes in the second episode.

Devi strode off, confident her friends had believed this bullshit story. Fabiola and Eleanor were confident their friend had become completely unhinged.

This line obviously steps outside Devi’s POV, but it’s also not solely Eleanor’s moment. Everything else that would be—involving her mother—is the same expository, facts-Devi-would-know style of narration. Therefore, I think Eleanor’s still totally in the running for her own POV episode.

As for Nalini, we get these moments in 1.04.

Nalini was a little on edge. This was the first puja they had gone to since Mohan’s untimely death and Devi’s paralysis.

The day had been a long one for Nalini, and she needed a win, even if it was a small one.

They’re grounded in the isolation Nalini feels and one of the major conflicts of the season is that Devi doesn’t have access to the fact that Nalini’s struggling as much as she is. So, we can probably call this a step outside Devi’s POV. It’s simply not as dramatic a break as for Kamala or Fabiola.

Of course, for episode ten to have the emotional impact it does, it makes sense we wouldn’t spend the season discussing Nalini’s heartbreak. It has to be more subtly communicated to the audience via Poorna Jagannathan’s acting and the flashbacks we’re given. Therefore, I think it’s unlikely that Nalini would get her own episode, but definitely not out of the question.

And, finally, there’s Paxton. As the object of Devi’s desire, so much of the narration revolves around Paxton—far too much for me to compile here or discuss individually, since I’m looking to wrap up this meta in, like, a hundred words.

So, here are the bits I’ve pulled out.

1.02: Whoa, Paxton speaks Japanese? Guess his last name makes more sense now.

1.09: Even though Nalini was talking out her frustration more than anything else, Paxton was stung by these little digs at his intelligence.

In 1.02, our narrator is actively surprised by new information, which makes a pretty solid case for the fact that McEnroe doesn’t have access to Paxton’s inner-life. And that makes sense because, when I call him the object of Devi’s desire, I’m putting a lot of emphasis on object. Devi doesn’t fully let herself acknowledge that Paxton’s more than a fantasy, so of course McEnroe—the voice inside her head—wouldn’t be super concerned with his personhood, either.

The line from 1.09 seems to throw a bit of a wrench into the works, since Paxton being insecure about his intelligence has every appearance of being a special insight. And I’m not going to go all the way and say that’s not the case, but I will bring up Devi’s line from 1.05: “Paxton’s not dumb, okay? He’s just…consistently bad at school!”

Obviously, Devi’s at least semi-aware that intelligence is Something to Paxton. On the other hand, she’s saying the line to fend off criticism from Ben, so it could just as easily be posturing as protectiveness over Paxton’s insecurity rather than actual knowledge the insecurity exists.

In summation, I still think Paxton’s the most likely candidate for a breakout POV episode in season two—boy desperately needs some interiority, so this is certainly high on my s2 wish list—with Eleanor a close second and Nalini a potential third. I think it’s unlikely that the show will (or would even consider) writing one for every character, though.

[piccolina-mina]

I have very mixed feelings about the sudden policing of shows and movies for casting “teen” romantic leads whose actors have an age difference. Whether you like it or not, this is how Hollywood works.

Yes, adults are usually cast to play teens to get around working hours, child labor laws and schooling. Yeah, there is something to say about the disproportionate casting of mostly older guys as teens when casting actual teens as female leads.

And yeah, in the past 40 years of film and television some of it has been downright disturbing, but there’s the almost irksome tone policing that’s happening now where we’re hyper-critical of works where romantic leads have real life age differences between actors, even when the actors are both legal, and even when the characters they’re playing don’t have an age gap. 

And people being told they can’t promote or enjoy a work’s in canon love story because of the age difference between the actors portraying the characters. And even comparing or accusing shows who happen to have this type of casting and who have a love story as essentially peddling kiddie/philia, and I just cannot … I can’t. Sorry. No.

Things aren’t taken into consideration such as typically an entire story may be written before casting even happens. Sometimes casting the right person for the role will include someone who isn’t the same age as the character. This is how the acting field functions, and within reason, this is something that all actors, including the young ones and their parents are aware of etc.

I do find it interesting and have noticed an unfortunate pattern that folks are particularly critical of this when it comes to young actors of color as romantic leads, and it doesn’t sit well. Because while the concerns are valid and shouldn’t be discounted, only being this consistently vocal about it to the point of policing fandom and chastising and discouraging fans from daring to enjoy a ship between the CHARACTERS … there’s a lot to unpack there too.

I’ve seen this recently with Never Have I Ever. Maitreyi Ramakrishen is 18, and Darren Barnet is 29. Yeah, no lie, it is hella weird even within the context of the show because of Devi actively seeking out a physical relationship and also Darren LOOKS like a 30 year old man.

I saw it with The Sun is Also a Star with Yara Shahidi and Charles Melton who are like a decade apart in age. But was something I didn’t notice while watching at least.

But I’m also seeing this with Julie and the Phantoms. The show could not get more wholesome and chaste. The romance between Julie and Luke is innocent pining, but folks are still super worked up about Madison being 16 and Charles being 21, and you would think the characters got it on with no clothes in the backseat of a Volvo or something. And I’m just trying to understand what the guidelines are now.

Because there are DEFINITELY some fkd up and problematic age gaps. Brooke Shields’ mother basically p*mped her daughter out doing films like Pretty Baby. It’s grotesque and should be criminal. She was 14 doing s*x scenes. Simonetta Stefanell was 16 doing them and playing Al Pacino’s wife in The Godfather. Kristen Stewart, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Lawrence, Dakota Fanning (ironically with Stewart) and more have definitely been in some questionable roles doing questionable things with questionable age differences.

But then, specifically teen stuff we’ve collectively enjoyed is open to critique, no doubt, but it’s also not dissected the same way or has the same expectations? And I don’t know.

No one batted an eye over 19 year old Tyler Posey paired with 26 year old Crystal Reed, and it definitely didn’t discourage anyone from enjoying their ship…

Trina Mcgee was 28 when she started playing Angela Moore on Boy Meets World and was even expecting at some point, and Rider was 17, but we weren’t discouraged from enjoying Shawngela (because of that anyway 😒).

Mila Kunis was 15 on That 70s Show with a 20 year old Ashton Kutcher.

Selena Gomez was 16 and Drew Seeley was 26 in Another Cinderella Story.

Andrea in the original BH90210 was in her 30s.

Taylor Momsen was 13 on Gossip Girl (still weird AF casting choice honestly) With 19 and 22 year olds over time.

Claire Danes was 14 to Leonardo Dicaprio’s 22 in Romeo and Juliet. And to 21 year old Jared Leto (which eww) in My So Called Life.

Lyndsy Fonseca was 14 with a 25 year old costar playing teen love interest on Y&R

Peyton Kennedy was like 15 with Sydney Sweeney being 22 years old in Everything S*cks.

Mischa Barton was 17 The O. C. with 24 year old Ben Mckenzie.

And Sasha Pieterse was 14 made out with 23 year old Shay Mitchell in PLL.

Cobra Kai, which is two seasons in now, has a love triangle between Sam, Mary Mouser who is 24, Diego, Xolo who is 19, and Tanner Buchanan who is 21.

I’m not arguing that people shouldn’t feel some kind of way about some casting choices or aren’t entitled to feel a certain way about this. I’m not even arguing that Hollywood doesn’t have an issue here because they clearly do as evidenced by examples above.

But I’m just genuinely trying to understand where we’re expected to be as consumers and fans of fictional works, characters, and relationships (again, within reason) if we’re not allowed (by public opinion and fandom space) to enjoy the fictional stories and relationships, romantic or otherwise because of casting choices…

Because I’ll admit, Devi and Paxton on Never Have I Ever was distracting as hell because Darren has like crow’s feet and everything and doesn’t pass as a teenager even by the absurd tv standards, so I couldn’t get into the pairing.

But I’ve been a diehard Shawngela fan for years, and that age gap between the actors didn’t deter me back then and it still doesn’t now.

And imagine my surprise when I bingewatched one of the most wholesome shows of this godforsaken year only to discover it’s now wrong to enjoy two adorable teens singing to each other lovingly and hugging because apparently there’s a five year age gap between the actors playing them and therefore it’s problematic to like the fictional pairing.

Like, I guess this is controversial, but Tumblr, I’m tired.

[a-lockman5]

Lucky Love {Devi x Paxton}

A/N: Another request! More Devi and Paxton being adorable! I made a lot of jumps in this one and changed POV, so hopefully it is not too confusing. There was a lot of time together, and I really liked the pieces so I didn’t want to let them go, but also I would have written an entire novel of filler if I didn’t make time jumps. So  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Hope you enjoy!

Summary: Paxton doesn’t know what it is, but the more present Devi was in his life, the better things seem to be for him. 

Warnings: Fluff.. that’s about it 

Requests are closed at this time as I’m already like 4 behind (you guys are awesome!), but ask is open.

MASTERLIST

“Oh, hey, umm, I’m in your neighborhood. Thought maybe we could hang out, but uh, it seems like you’re busy, so… Uh… Anyway, you can give me a call or text. Whatever… Okay.”

The first time Devi listened to Paxton’s voicemail, she saved it, but told herself she wouldn’t listen to it again. She was with her mom and Kamala on their way home from Malibu. She’d just kissed Ben Gross, and Kamala, thankfully, distracted her mom long enough that Nalini was none the wiser. Devi’s mother wasn’t the reason she wouldn’t listen to the voicemail again though, Ben was. She just had the most amazing moment topped by the most amazing kiss with Ben freaking Gross. She could hardly believe it herself, but she wasn’t going to taint that by listening to a voicemail from another guy.

“Oh, hey, umm, I’m in your neighborhood…”

The second time she listened to Paxton’s voice crackle across the line, was when she was lying in bed trying to fall asleep. It was the same day that she promised herself she wouldn’t listen to it ever again. She lasted six hours, and honestly, she was proud of that. It was five and a half hours longer than she thought she would last. He sounded vague and detached, and she knew that. Ben was expressive and he wore all his emotions on his face. Why would she throw away such a great moment with Ben to listen Paxton ask her to hangout or whatever? Logically, it didn’t make any sense. She just needed to think about Ben and fall asleep.

“…Thought maybe we could hang out, but…”

The third time Paxton’s voicemail reached her ears was after she’d sat bolt right up in bed from a weird (not entirely bad) dream. Paxton and Ben were fighting over her. Not like fighting in the cafeteria though, no. Instead, it was a medieval joust, with horses and swords and giant sticks, and an amazingly detailed crown for her to wear. In the dream, she thought she gave Ben her favor, but after Paxton knocked him off his horse, he magically had her favor instead. She was so thrilled for his victory mid-dream that she didn’t question it. Then to top it all off, they kissed… again! Except, it was a dream this time, but it reminded her of the real time, and… well shit.

*Can we talk?* she sent the text without another thought.

*Yeah. On the phone?*

*In person. I’ll meet you at school?*

*Sounds good.*

“… uh, seems like you’re busy, so… Uh…”

The fourth time she listened to the voicemail Paxton left nine hours earlier, she hung up before it finished as the very person she dragged out of bed was getting out of a town car. He walked over with a bag full of Devi’s things, smiling sheepishly. When he reached her, she graciously took the bag from him and met his eye for the first time since they’d kissed. Almost instantly, she saw his face fall.

“You didn’t mean it, did you?”

“What? No, it’s not like that. I” –

“It’s okay, I get it. It was a big moment, you were emotional. It’s no big deal,” Ben told her.

“It was a big deal… and I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me the last couple weeks. I think I was just swept up in the moment or some other Hollywood cliché… I should have found a better way to say thank you.”

“I’m glad you told me. I care about you, I think you know that,” he nodded. “Nothin’ hurt.”

“You’re not mad?”

He sighed. “Can’t be mad at you for being honest. Now, if you make it weird and blow me off at school when we just started becoming friendly rivals, I’ll be mad. Friends?” he asked sticking his hand out.

“Friends,” she met him for a handshake. “Thanks, Gross.”

“Anyway, you can give me a call or text. Whatever… Okay.”

The fifth time she listened to Paxton’s voicemail, she recognized every nuance in his voice that slipped past her the previous listens. He was vulnerable. He came to her house to ask her to hangout even though the last time he came to her house, her mom called him an idiot. He was trying to sound aloof, but she could tell he was scared. Scared of what? Her mom? Or was he scared of her?

She didn’t want to waste another second waiting to find out so, at 9:30AM she found herself riding a scooter to the Hall-Yoshida residence. When she got there, she was about to knock at the door when Rebecca and her parents opened it, fully dressed. It looked like they were leaving.

“Devi?” Rebecca greeted quizzically. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey, Becca, Mr. and Mrs. Hall-Yoshida. Is Paxton here?”

Rebecca’s expression changed into a wide grin before she answered. “No, he has a swim meet this morning and is already at the pool. That’s where we’re going. Want to come?”

“Uh…” Devi hesitated, taking that moment to realize she didn’t even change out of her pajama pants which were adorned with several pink frosted donuts. “You know what, Becca? I will see you there. I’m going change into something a little…”

“Less pathetic?” she finished, as her parents stepped by them. Devi was sure she heard Mr. Hall-Yoshida snort in laughter at his daughter’s sass.

“Assessment noted. See you in a bit!” Devi called over her shoulder as she retreated to her scooter.

As soon as she got home again, she ran up to her room. Hair curly and half up? Done. Makeup? Applied. Red glitter on cheeks? Lightly brushed. Cricket stickers in place of eye black? Nailed it. Red knee-high socks? Donned. And the final touch – a white Sherman Oaks High School Crickets t-shirt cut into a cut-off and worn over her red tank top with denim shorts. She looked like a real-life superfan. Unfortunately, after perfecting her appearance, Devi realized she was late for the meet.

The next thing Devi realized was, while you always see people dressing up for football games, no one does that for swim meets. At least, not at Sherman Oaks High. Sure, there was plenty of red and white spirit wear, but nothing quite like what Devi had done. As she stood at the entrance to the aquatic center, Devi thought to run straight back home before anyone realized she was there. Besides, was a grand romantic gesture really what Paxton’s voicemail called for? It’s not like he poured his soul out to her. One could argue, he didn’t put himself out there at all. At most, he extended an olive branch after blowing her off before. Yep, sending him a text later today was a much better alternative to the embarrassment she was inevitably racing toward the longer she stood there. Devi turned on her heel, and immediately found herself face to face with Rebecca who held a mountain dew and an orange Gatorade.

“Devi!” she brightened up immediately, before taking in her outfit. “You look great!”

“Really?” If Rebecca was complimenting her outfit, then maybe she was wrong. Maybe she was just a trendsetter.

“I mean, it’s a little cringey for a swim meet, but it’s a look for sure,” she elaborated. After her shrewd assessment of Devi’s clothing choices for the second time that day, Rebecca’s eyes lit up. “Oh, will you take this to Paxton?”

“Me? I don’t know. I don’t think I” –

“Yes, you have to! He sucked in his first event, and he needs a boost,” she told her, thrusting the sports drink into Devi’s hands. “Look he’s right over there with Eddie waiting for their next race.”

Okay, Devi, deep breath. Own it. She told herself. With her thoughts racing, Devi attempted to strut toward the side opposite end of the pool where Paxton sat talking with Eddie Tan. As she got closer, she worried about stumbling in her steps, or tripping over a swim block. That fear was, of course, ridiculous because all the blocks were at the end of the pool, and she was walking down the side. No, this time she was not going to be clumsy. She was a different woman now. She’d kissed two boys in the last two weeks – she was a GD siren.

“Devi?”

“Paxton, hey,” his voice broke her from her internal monologue. She advanced the last few paces, as he stood to meet her.  “Becca asked me to bring you this.”

“Thanks,” he breathed in a smile.

“Hey, are we finally getting cheerleaders?” Eddie asked, coming up beside Paxton. “You look fire.”

Devi’s smile grew tenfold. “Thanks, Eddie, but no, not a cheerleader. Just trying to be supportive,” she grinned looking at Paxton.

“Dope,” Eddie nodded, before being called away by their coach.

“Thanks for this,” Paxton told her as he uncapped the Gatorade and took a sip. “Hey, you know I came by your place yesterday?”

“Yeah, I know. I came by yours this morning. You were already gone.”

He nodded with a small smile. “Cool. Well, I better get back. My next event should be up soon.”

“Cool.”

***

Paxton took another gulp of the Gatorade as he watched Devi’s retreating form. She heard his voicemail, and now she was at his swim meet looking like she wanted him to give her his jersey. If he had one to give her, she’d be wearing it. He was nervous when he never heard from her yesterday, and if he was honest, he slept poorly because of it. He felt tired when he got to the pool this morning, and it showed during his backstroke race. Eddie was trying to get him out of his own head when Devi showed up.

“Yoshida!” Coach Bryant called down to him. “You’re up next for breaststroke. You good?”

“Yeah, coach,” he replied, capping his drink. “Good to go.”

After putting his earplugs in, pulling his goggles on, and securing his swim cap. Paxton was waiting behind his block for the previous heat to end. Five deep breaths, and he would be ready to go. 5…..4….3…2.. –

“Woo! Paxton!” he heard a cheer from the stands. When he looked up, he saw his favorite nerd in the bleachers, standing with his mom and sister. They started in on a rehearsed chant, each one yelling a different letter of his initials. “P! H! Y! – P! H! Y!”

He couldn’t fight the smile from his face as he stepped up to his block. Devi came to his house this morning. She dressed up for his swim meet today. She was sitting with his family, and they were enjoying her.

When the starting gun sounded, Paxton dove into the water. It was effortless – such a stark contrast from his previous race. He couldn’t even describe how he was gliding through the water. If he didn’t know any better, he would think Rebecca spiked his Gatorade. Before he knew it, he was finished.

Coach Bryant hoisted him out of the pool by one arm as people cheered all around him. “That’s a PR, kid! 58.8!”

Paxton pulled his cap and goggles off just before his coach wrapped him in a bruising hug. A moment later, he was thrust back, and Bryant landed a sound clap on his back. “I don’t know what changed between your first race and now, but don’t change a thing. Got me?”

Paxton’s eyes flickered over to Devi in the stands, she was beaming right back at him. “Got it, Coach.”

***

“Paxton, you were amazing!” Rebecca told him when he came out of the locker room.

“That breaststroke was Olympic qualifying time, kiddo,” his dad wrapped him in a one-arm hug, “at nearly 17! You keep that up, we’re going to be watching you win gold medals.”

His mom put an arm around Devi’s shoulders with a sly smile. “Well, if you ask me, I think Paxton had a good luck charm.”

“Oh, no,” Devi shook her head with a smile as her cheeks reddened. “I didn’t do anything.”

“I know one thing,” Mrs. Hall-Yoshida continued, “we would be happy for you to ride with us to Paxton’s meet on Tuesday.”

“Mom’s right, we can’t take any chances. As long as you’re free, Devi, we’d love to have you,” his dad nodded.

Paxton gave Devi a lopsided grin. “Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”

“You were amazing. I mean, I’ve seen you swim before, but you were just so fast today. Becca said you struggled in your first race, but you looked fine to me,” Devi rambled as they climbed into the jeep, “better than fine. And what your dad said about the Olympics! Do you think you’ll try to qualify for 2024?”

He huffed out a smile. Her mind moved so quickly her mouth could barely keep up, and it always left him speechless. It embarrassed her, but it just reminded him of how smart she really was. “I don’t know.”

“Aren’t you excited? How are you so chill about this?”

He shrugged. “I just swam. I didn’t even try; I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Wow, you should not try more often,” she smiled.

Actually, he was planning to try a lot harder than he ever had before. “You want to get some food?”

Her smiled widened. “Sure.”

“Cool.”

They drove on for few minutes in silence, and he noticed Devi tapping furiously on her phone screen. For a moment, he wondered who she might be texting, but then he remembered.

“I’m guessing your mom doesn’t know where you are?”

“Yeah, she’s freaking out,” she scoffed before her eyes widened in alarm. “No, not because I’m with you! Just – I left this morning before she woke up. I’m just letting her know I went to the swim meet and that I’m going to Fabiola’s to study for history at 4:00.”

“Conveniently leaving out what you’re doing right now,” he pointed out.

He glanced over, and she drew her bottom lip between her teeth while she stared out at the road. Paxton could almost hear her thoughts pinballing in her head as she figured out what to say to him. Should he tell her how much her mother’s disapproval – no, that’s not quite right – her disdain for him, hurt his feelings? Well, not in those words certainly. Hurt his feelings? Yeah, right.

“I should tell you, I’m sorry,” she finally said, as they swung into the parking lot of a local burger joint. “I should have stuck up for you when you came to my house after Ben’s party.”

“You did,” he shrugged. “We’re cool.”

She shook her head. “I stuck up for me. I should have warned you about how she is with boys. To be fair, I don’t have a lot of experience yet myself, but I did know that she reminds me constantly, I can’t have a boyfriend until I’m old enough to rent a car. I knew that she would freak out if she knew I kissed you, but you didn’t.”

“It’s really okay. Not the first girl’s mom to not like me,” he grinned. It wasn’t true. He’d won over the mother of every other girl he’d gone out with. Some of them made him uncomfortable like Mrs. Harrison, but others just found him charming. Devi didn’t need to feel bad about it though. It’s not like she said those things, and like she said, it didn’t even have to do with him really. “Can we go in?”

She supplied a weak grin in return but nodded. Just as they were going to get out, it started raining. He watched his companion deflate as she watched the big raindrops plop on the windshield. Paxton grabbed around the backseat for his extra jacket, handing it to her once he had it. “Here, it’ll keep you dry.”

She nodded with a suppressed smile, pulling it on and putting the hood up. Without another word, they slid out of the vehicle and jogged into the restaurant. While they waited to be seated, Paxton turned to Devi. He noticed her shiver and clutch his jacket tighter around her. Between the downpour outside and the cranked AC inside, she was probably freezing. Without thinking, he placed a hand on each of her shoulders, rubbing them furiously in attempt to help warm her up.

“Thanks, but aren’t you cold?” she asked, subconsciously leaning into his touch. “You didn’t even put your hood up.”

“Me?” he replied with a devilish smirk. “Nah, I spent the whole morning in a pool. Besides, my hair was already wet,” he told her, shaking his head so drops of water showered her lightly. When a delighted laugh was her response, he smiled victoriously. He didn’t have to be smooth or suave with Devi. She liked him when he was raw, genuine, and dorky. If he was honest, it was a relief – no stress of trying to impress her because she already liked the real him.

He needed to tell her how he felt. Wasn’t that the whole point of going to her house yesterday? He wanted her to know that he liked her, that he was glad they kissed, that he didn’t care if her mom thought he was stupid. He liked her. They sat opposite each other in a booth after ordering their food. She hadn’t said a word since they sat down, but neither had he. The tension between them was running high as Paxton realized this was the first time things really felt like a date. In hopes of making their first date official, he reached across the table and covered her hand with his. Her eyes zeroed in on the action and grew wide. If she thought she was surprised now, just wait until she heard what Paxton was about to say.

“I kissed Ben!” Devi blurted.

Paxton’s head drooped as his brow furrowed in disbelief. “What? When?”

“Yesterday.”

He looked away from her as his hand dropped to his side. His face screwed up as he tried to process the information she gave him – mouth opening and closing as he fought to think of something to say. After a deep sigh, he hung his head until rubbing his face briskly with one hand. Finally, he made eye contact with her again. “So what? You guys together now or something?”

“No, it didn’t mean anything. I just – okay so yesterday, I almost missed spreading my dad’s ashes because I’ve been in a huge fight with my mom and ran away from home since the day after Ben’s party. My mom and cousin were in Malibu, and I wasn’t going to make it in time. Ben drove me all the way there, and I made it. And I made up with my mom. And we spread Dad’s ashes together, and I just got to really remember him. I got to remember him without it coming up at an inconvenient moment, without trying to push the memories away,” her eyes filled with tears. “I got to remember him with my mom, and I’ve been so unfair to her because she lost him too, and… and Ben was still there after we left the beach. He was still there waiting for me. And things have just been so hard, I’ve felt so abandoned and alone, and I probably would have kissed that little weasel Russia from model UN if he’d been there – I know you don’t know who that is, but the point is, the kiss wasn’t about Ben. I would have kissed anyone if they were there for me in that moment. I…” she trailed off, tears escaping and sweeping down her face. “I’m sorry.”

Paxton’s chest felt tight as he watched cry silently. His body moved of its own accord, carrying him over to her side of the booth and wrapping her in his arms. He pressed her head against his chest, before hushing her gently. “It’s okay… shh… I got you… you’re okay.” Tucking her head under his chin, he rested against her until he felt her body start to relax too. He scooted away when she started to pull her head up.

“Aren’t you mad at me?” she sniffled before chewing on her bottom lip.

“For what? Devi, if I hadn’t blown you off at school, I would have been the one in Malibu with you,” he told her. “You’ve been through a lot, and I’m done dumping on you. It’s not fair.”

She nodded with a weak smile. “Thank you,” she whispered.

He smiled back and slid back out to take his seat across from her again. “Can I tell you what I think?” he asked, waiting for her nod to continue. “If you really would have kissed anyone in that moment, and I believe you when you say you would have, then it doesn’t sound like you’re ready to have a boyfriend right now,” he watched her hang her head at his words. “Hey, this isn’t me telling you that I don’t like you. It’s the opposite of that. I like you. I like you a lot actually.”

“You do?” she asked perplexed, brow furrowing in a way that made him want to kiss her.

“Yeah, I do. That’s why I went to your house yesterday, but, Devi, I don’t want to date you if you’re not ready for that…”

Her voice was barely above a whisper as their food was placed on the table. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

Paxton thanked their server before turning his attention back to the girl across from him. She looked broken again. The only other time he’d ever seen her look that way was after Gross’s party. After her friends walked out on her. “Devi, I’m not going anywhere. I just want to be your friend while you figure stuff out. If we end up dating, I want you to be sure it’s what you want – not something to distract you from your problems.”

Things were silent between them for a few moments as they started in on their meals. Paxton glanced at her, and she was eating – he was glad of that – but she was still kind of sulking. An idea sparked in him as he tapped her foot under the table. “Hey,” he smiled. “You know what I could really use?”

“What?”

“Some help studying for the history test.”

“Well, I’m supposed to at Fabiola’s in forty-five minutes,” she reminded him.

“Right… do you think your friends would mind if I came along?”

For the first time since they sat down, Devi smiled.

***

“I got a B?” Paxton gaped at his own history test.

“A job well done, Mr. H – Y,” Mr. Shapiro nodded as he continued passing tests back.

“Dude!” Trent exclaimed, fist bumping Paxton. “You get a tutor?”

“I got three,” Paxton smiled, turning around to look at Devi. She was already smiling at him. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“I know,” she teased. “Seriously though, you did the work. I’m happy for you.”

“My mom was on to something, you know?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re my good luck charm. I stick with you, you’re gonna get me on the Stanford swim team.”

And she did. After that history test, Devi started unofficially tutoring him in all his classes. She was officially tutoring him as far as her mom was concerned, and therefore, it was a job, not her hanging out with a boy. They studied at the library, at either family’s dining tables or at Eleanor or Fabiola’s. The last time they had studied at Devi’s, her mom invited him to stay for dinner. If that wasn’t enough, she actually conversed with him about how much she had heard about his swimming career. Apparently, Coach Bryant’s wife worked at her Dr. Vishwakumar’s dermatology practice. It felt like a big victory to Paxton. A comparable victory was Devi’s help in preparing him for the SATs and a resulting 1300 score. He couldn’t believe how much things had turned around for him academically, but with Devi’s help and support, he felt unstoppable.

He ended up with a scholarship that covered 75% of his school fees to join the swim team, and his parents could not have been prouder. He wasn’t crazy about being five and a half hours from home, but he was thrilled, shocked even, to have gained admission to such a prestigious school. He knew that things were going to be challenging but was grateful when his new coach told him they had a team tutor. Devi suggested making sure he had a strong relationship with the tutor. As a collegiate athlete, he’d have a lot of pressure on him both in the pool and in the classroom.

“You’re smart though,” she told him as she helped him pack before move-in day. “Your SAT score shows that. Don’t second guess yourself, and don’t let people think you’re just a pretty face.”

Paxton smirked. Even after everything they’d been through, she wasn’t afraid to admit physical attraction. They never started dating after that conversation about making sure she was ready, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to. All he’d learned in the last two years was, Devi was far more special than he’d realized when their friendship began. Watching her heal after her father’s death and blossom into the woman he saw now was beautiful, and Paxton was just thankful to have a front row seat. Hearing her stories about Mohan and seeing how much she shared with her father made his heart swell, and he never missed an opportunity to tell her, her dad sounded a lot like her. He loved the smile she’d give him when he did too.

“I’m gonna miss you, Vishwakumar,” he murmured, pulling her close.

“Stop acting like you’re going off to war; it’s 2021. You can facetime me whenever you want,” she replied into his shoulder. She tried to pull away but stopped when his hold tightened.

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

“I’m counting on it.”

***

“Mom, come on, this is the only school I’m going to see without you.”

“Yes, khanna, I know this. That is why you must be prepared,” Devi’s mother responded, pages of her questions pouring out of the printer.

“I’ve gone on three other visits with you, mom, I know what to ask. And you’re going to ask the admissions office again if I decide this is what I want.”

“I do not know why you are even visiting this school. You are to go to an ivy league school.”

Devi groaned. “Mom, they have the number two law program in the country. They are every bit as prestigious as any of the ivy leagues and you know it.”

“Yes… and you are certain you want to be a lawyer?”

“I’m certain I have plenty of experience with fact-based arguments,” Devi smirked.

Her mom glared playfully at her. “They are usually riddled with emotion in my memory.”

“Part of the charm,” she smiled back. “It would be nice to be closer to you too, Mom.”

Her gaze softened before pulling Devi tight to her chest. “Just be safe, sweetie. I love you. I will see you on Monday.”

Sherman Oaks had two weekends per school year for upperclassmen where they were invited to take a long weekend for a college visit. Devi, Eleanor, and Fabiola decided to take this opportunity to visit the one school all three of them planned to apply to. Devi’s mom had taken a great deal of convincing, but in the last two years the relationship between Devi and Nalini had remarkably improved. They’d gone to therapy sessions together to process Mohan’s death – they learned how to be more open and sympathetic to each other along the way. They still argued. Nalini still had high expectations for Devi, but they never doubted that they loved each other. And Nalini’s trust in Devi had flourished as a result. Thank goodness, otherwise she never would have gotten the opportunity for an unsupervised college visit with her best friends.

Did they listen to way too many showtunes on the drive up for Devi’s taste? Yes. Yes, they did. Had Fabiola developed a weird taste for country music? Yes, she had. Thankfully, when a road trip is five and a half hours long, everyone gets a shot at picking the music. With plenty of snacks to go around, they were set for a great weekend.

Once arriving on campus, they congregated with other prospective students at the student union for the beginning of their visit. After a quick tour of the union, their next stop was housing and where they would be staying for the weekend. After housing, they toured the Cantor Arts Center, SLAC, Bing Concert Hall, and so many other destinations that it made Devi’s head spin. When they broke for the day, all three girls were happy to go rest in their room.

“Wow, this campus is like its own city,” Devi collapsed on a bed.

“You’re telling me! They have five different venues for their performing arts,” Eleanor gushed.

“And the number one engineering school in the state,” Fabiola agreed, “in one the most progressive areas in the country.”

After a few minutes of tired but enthralled conversation about the different things they liked about campus, the girls fell silent, all lying perpendicularly across the same twin bed. Devi was close to dozing off when Eleanor shifted beside her.

“So… have you told you know who that we’re here?”

Devi tried to suppress her smile. “No, I figured I would surprise him tomorrow after his meet.”

“Has he called yet?” Fabiola smiled.

Paxton and Devi had maintained a strong friendship through the recent months of his first semester and swim season at Stanford University. He facetimed her the night before every meet because “it’s the closest he could get to having his good luck charm with him.” She often told him, he was silly, but man, if she didn’t love every second of it.

“Nope, but he better hurry, otherwise I’ll be asleep,” she joked.

“Do you think he’ll recognize the dorms?” Fabiola asked.

“Good point…”

***

“What’s up, Pax? You seem tense,” Michael asked, tugging one of Paxton’s earbuds out.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “It’s stupid, just some superstition.”

“Didn’t talk to your girlfriend last night?” his friend smirked, tossing an arm over his shoulder to stretch.

Paxton smiled despite himself. “Shut up, man. She’s not my girlfriend.”

“You made her your woman-crush-Wednesday last week, and I didn’t even think people did that anymore.”

“Dude, whatever. She’s my best friend, and she’s the reason I’m here,” he shook his head as they both continued to stretch through their conversation.

It was true after all, at least in his opinion. If Devi had never approached him at the beginning of his junior year, his future may never have looked like this. She had mentioned before he moved up here, he could facetime her whenever he wanted. He systematically took advantage of that. Rationally, he knew that Devi could not affect how he swam. However, the more present Devi was in his life – the better things seem to be for Paxton, so he talked to her the night before every swim meet.  Did it have to be deeper than that?

Of course, it did. Paxton had never let go of his feelings for Devi. In fact, they only grew. She’d changed him into a completely different person with her friendship. Or did she just let him be himself? Yeah, that’s what she did. Devi saw him more acutely than anyone else he’d ever met… and she liked him. He wanted to be better, smarter, more motivated because she believed he could be. It made him believe it too. Did her not picking up his call last night change any of that? Absolutely not, he knew that. Did it make him feel like something was missing, just like if he didn’t get to listen to his music during warmups? Yes. Yes, it did.

“Huh… maybe you’re the reason she’s here.”

Paxton’s brow furrowed at Michael, before the latter nodded over Paxton’s shoulder. Paxton turned, and there she was, just like that first meet when everything changed. She had her red knee-high socks, her Stanford t-shirt and her denim shorts. Eye black under her eyes, and he couldn’t tell for sure, but he suspected the vertical lines would prove to be redwood trees. He wasn’t sure when the smile spread across his face, but his cheeks were already hurting from how happy he was to see her there.

Fabiola and Eleanor were with her, dressed similarly, and it was Eleanor that saw him first. She waved happily with one hand while nudging Devi and pointing toward him with the other. Devi beamed at him with the biggest smile he’d ever seen her wear. He wanted to wave. Hell, he wanted to run over to them, and wrap Devi in his arms. He wanted her to know how much having her there meant to him. He didn’t do any of those things though. He was stuck in his own shock and his body felt warm everywhere, so he just smiled at her and didn’t stop until Michael finally nudged him again.

“Get movin man, you gotta be in the pool soon,” he said with a laugh. “Don’t want to tear a muscle in front of your girl.”

Paxton rolled his eyes, shoving Michael’s shoulder good-naturedly before returning to his stretches.

When it was time for him to assume his starting position in the pool for the backstroke, Paxton followed his same routine – five deep breaths. 5…..4….3…2.. –

“P! H! Y!”

Just like almost every meet for the last two years of high school, he could hear his initials being chanted. And just like all those other meets, he knew Devi was the one that started it. It tapered off quickly while the starter waited to give his command, but it took effect.

When the starting gun sounded, Paxton had an out of body experience. It was like magic how easily he glided through the water. Somehow the race felt faster than the few seconds it took for them to start. When he brought his head fully out of the water, he could hear the raucous, thunderous cheering. He saw his time flash across the board: 51.8. A world record. A world record.

The rest of the meet was a daze. His other events were good, but not world record good. His teammates were congratulating him and talking about the parties they would be throwing for him – away from the coaching staff, of course. That all was great, but Paxton only had one thing on his mind, one person really. As soon as coach had dismissed him and he had his sweats donned, he was out the door.

People were shaking his hand. Smiling at him. Pulling him into hugs. Some were friends, classmates, teachers. Some were strangers. Paxton offered polite smiles and thanks as he continued to push past them. She was lingering toward the back, leaning against a wall with her friends talking about something on Instagram. When he finally made it to where no one stood between them, she was still probably eight feet away, and he froze. In that moment, he took all the little things he loved about her all at once. Her beauty, her intelligence, her faith in him, the way she reached inside him and pulled his walls down, the way she laughed at his jokes, and even then how she pretended to bored and look casual, but was chewing her bottom lip, his favorite sign that she was excited and nervous to see him again.

“My girl,” he breathed out, just loud enough to catch her attention.

Her eyes lit up when she saw him, and they both closed the distance between them. He wrapped her in a soul-crushing hug. Anyone around them might think it had been years since they’d seen each other instead of the few short months. He pulled away just enough to lean in for the one thing that had been on his mind all day – but then he stopped short.

“You didn’t kiss anybody yesterday, did you?” he asked.

She shook her head ‘no,’ as her cheeks took on a pink hue.

“Good. You think you’re ready for a boyfriend?”

She grinned with a small nod.

He matched her grin with a toothy smile. “Cool,” and he dove in. Finally, after two long years of not feeling Devi Vishwakumar’s lips against his, there he was kissing her, and boy, was it worth the wait. One hand cradled her jaw, the other clutching her back, holding her close as though if he let go, she’d disappear. He couldn’t even begin to describe how the actual kiss felt. Instead, he was so caught up in the monumental fact that is was finally happening. There was no one else – no Ben Gross to get in their way. She’d grown so much over the last two years, and so had he. She was ready. They were ready.

“Wait,” he pulled away. “Just to be clear, you are ready for me to be your boyfriend, right?”

She smiled, rolling her eyes, and pushing him away playfully. “Yes, dork.”

It was then he heard the cheers coming from their friends. Behind Devi, Eleanor and Fabiola gave them a thumbs up. Over Paxton’s shoulder, Michael let out a low whistle. When Paxton caught his eye, he winked and said, “thought she was just your best friend.”

Paxton looked back at Devi, her eyes finding his again immediately. “She is so much more than that.”

***

“Paxton Hall-Yoshida has done it again! He’s broke his own record!”

Paxton overheard the highlights of his 100m backstroke earlier that day as he walked the tunnel to where they were waiting. It was better than he could have imagined. He told his parents that he really wanted to give Devi one of the tickets for his events today. When he told them why, they were happy to help fly her out to them. It was five years since he realized Devi Vishwakumar was his good luck charm. And sure enough, she came through for him again today – sealing a gold medal for the backstroke. He was going to come through for her too.

“Hey,” she said when she saw him before tilting her head to the side. “What are you wearing?”

He glanced down at the expensive suit he’d donned in the locker room – the best suit he owned. “This? It’s nothing,” he smiled as he reached her.

“Where’s your bag?”

“Don’t worry about it,” he told her as his left hand slipped into his pocket. “I have everything I need right here.”

“Paxton, you can’t leave your stuff – what are you doing?” she asked suddenly, as he knelt down in front of her. Her eyes grew wide when he popped open the ring box.

“I’m feeling lucky, Devi. What about you?”

[thefabulousfab-3]

🔥+ benvi because i feel that rant was so personal 👀

This is my favorite thing to talk about ever:

So benvi has become like one of my all time favorite ships. Childhood Academic rivals to reluctant friends to lovers is a god tier trope. They encapsulate everything I love in a ship.

1. They understand each other:

Example of this is in season 1 when Ben gets Fabiola and Eleanor to talk Devi into going to spread her dads ashes and make up with her mom. Ben knew that they were the only people who could get her to go. He also understood just how important it was for her to go.

Another example of this is all the subtle looks they give each other, especially in class.

2. They make each other better:

They do this through many things, one of the things being their academic rivalry. Through their competitiveness they have managed to make each other better and more well rounded students. They push each other to work harder and better.

They also just make each other better people in general. The closer Ben and Devi got the more Ben began to break out of his “asshole” persona and become a more likable person. He also got more confident in himself and his ability to make friends. Also standing up to his parents was huge and that was in large part due to Devi.

Through their relationship/ friendship Devi has been forced to start to grow a little. Ben pushing her to make amends with the people she has wronged (her mom, Aneesa). He has helped her start to heal! Ben has helped her become a less selfish person.

3. They have similar goals and ambitions:

They both want to go to Ivy League schools and plan on having somewhat high powered careers . (I’m partial to them going into a STEM type of career but that’s just me).

4. They are able to be themselves around each other.

The times Devi’s true personality comes through is when she is with Ben. She doesn’t ever have to put up a front to try to “be cool”. She allows her walls to come down and to be vulnerable with him. Something that she has never done with Paxton. She trusts Ben completely and that he is the one person who she feels like she can really talk to.

Same thing with Ben, he is way more comfortable with Devi than he is with anyone else. He is a kind and wonderful person and Devi is one of the only people to always see that side of him. Even before they were friends he expressed concern for her and knew when something was wrong with her. She alone is one of the only people that really knows how his relationship with his parents really is.

They are each other’s best friends!!

Also, the use of this line when Devi kisses Ben kills me, “All my life I’ve been hiding myself, just waiting for a boy like you”

I don’t know if this was intentional or not but this line really solidifies just how vulnerable Devi is with Ben. She hides herself from everyone, except Ben.

5. The banter!!!

The slightly insulty banter with the underlying sexual tension… there truly is nothing else like it.

6. THEIR INSANE CHEMISTRY!!!!!!!

In conclusion, these two are the pure definition of soulmates. This ship is so superior to d*xton is every way. I am incapable of being normal about them and I make zero apologies for it.

[watchwithbee]

never have I ever s2e1+2

spoilers for nhie s2

cw: discussion of cheating, misandry objectification of men, and generally being a dick (I am very anti devi rn)

I am so mad right now!!!!!!!!!

I was so pissed off with how badly they objectified paxton in the first season

literally pissed

and I was really hoping they were gonna make it better in s2

and yet

here we are

this is literally just max keebler's big move with cheating

I'm fucking RAGING

plus literally why are they doing paxton so dirty??!??!?!

okay listen

maybe it's because of my shitty experiences in the past

but I personally

if I were the main character here

would not feel comfortable around ben

I would avoid him like the plague

something about his vibe just does not hit me right

I would also be hesitant with paxton

however

paxton gives me drinks respecting women juice for breakfast every morning energy

yeah he seems like a popular jock stereotype

but have you seen how much he cares about his sister????

he wouldn't take shit from anyone on a fundimental level

if any of you have seen girl meets world, the episode where farkle got bullied by lucas's jock friend

lucas dumped his ass when he found out

he said no thanks man, I'm not a huge asswipe and don't want to be around one

paxton gives me the same vibes!!!!!!!!

that being said

I really feel like devi and ben are way better together

like

did you see how hesitant she was to dump him?????

she's drawn to ben

she likes ben

theyre good together!!!!!!

for fuck's sake

I'm so ready for everything to blow up in her face

[kim kardashian voice] it's what she deserves

thank you eric for stealing everyone's hats

devi's hubris will be the downfall of her so fast

STOP SHITTING ON PAXTON

THEY DIDN"T SEE IT?!?!?!

oh shit it's eve!!!! I love her!!!!!!

oh shit

oh shit oh shit

?????

!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate that they're making it seem like eleanor is gonna cheat too!!!!!!

that's so bad!!!!!!

devi is being a really bad influence

if she can't handle one person implying that she's dating paxton she can't survive in that environment

I'm so fucking done with this!!!

devi: I'm dating paxton >:)

ben: what??

AND THE BOTTLE DROPS!!!!!

nalini does deserve a better support system

I hope her mother in law comes to visit at least

if not stay with them

she seems like a good grandma

SHE SHOULD GO BACK WITH THEM

NIRMALA SHOULD GO TO AMERICA WITH THEM

devi has an uncle??!?!?!?!

she should move in with them fr

she has a sister in austrailia??

YES YES YES

oh god her first impression is gonna be devi at a rager

OH MY GOD IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING

"Technically, yeah, I'm dating both of you ... I'm sorry"

NO YOU"RE NOT!!

YOU'RE NOT THOUGH!!!

IF YOU ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT THEM YOU WOULN'T DO THAT IN THE FIRT PLACE!!?!?!?!!!??!??!?!!!!

FUCK DEVI

FUCK HER

i literally hate her so much

ben looks so miserable and heartbroken!!!

he's not even my fave but he's still a really compelling character that deserves respect

who I would personally date aside, I love all the characters (except devi rn) and she's being such a shit to them

paxton is really trying not to let it show but ik he's going to go home and cry then spill all the tea to his sister

SHE"S GONNA BE SO PISSED!!!!!!!!

IF REBECCA IS MAD AT YOU THERE'S NO REDEMING YOURSELF

'Paxton, wait!" why isn't she trying to damage control with ben??????

she obviously likes him more

"I'm... terrible" LMFAO

YES PAXTON GO OFF ON HER

WHAT THE FUCK

OH MY GOD I JUST YELLED OUTLOUD

HE GOT HIT BY A FUCKING CAR

THAT I'M PRETTY SURE IS DEVI'S MOM AND GRANDMA

I'M GONNA PEE MY PANTS IF I'M RIGHT

OH MYGOD TRENT

YYYYYES YES YES

SHE'S MOVING IN HELL YEAH

OH YESS OH HELL YES

FUCK YEAH

GRANDMAS IN THE HOUSEEEEEE

okay more in ep 3 we're MARATHONING BITCH

I might live blog but we'll see how it goes

probs not I have too much to say lmfao